#the thought of a country album tho

[featherandferns]

daylight - three

jj maybank x fem!reader | part 3 of the daylight series | read part 2 here

content warnings: alcohol

word count: 2k.

blurb: after finding a box of memories, you jump at the chance to go fishing with JJ. There, you open up a little more about your life in Vancouver.

You come downstairs at the sound of your dad calling your name. You find him standing by a stack of cardboard boxes, labelled with marker pen scribbles. 

“Can you take your stuff upstairs? That other delivery van finally arrived. Only a God damn month late,” your dad grumbles. 

“Sure thing,” you say.

It takes about ten minutes to lug your boxes upstairs. Closing your bedroom door, you begin to unpack. Most of them are full of clothes and accessories: caps and bags that you probably don’t even need, since you didn’t miss them in their lack. Another box has school things, in case you need your old notes for the next year of classes. The final box is full of miscellaneous items. Childhood memorabilia and wads of photographs and photo albums. Stupid dress-up gear from costume parties you and Mimsy had attended. You snap a selfie dressed in the get-up and send it to Mimsy.

A shoebox at the bottom has you taking pause. You take it out and set it on your bed, opening it. Your heart stops when you see what’s inside. 

How could you forget?

The box is piled high with various things, and at the top is a journal. It's frayed on the corners from excessive wear and tear. It was the journal you had kept when dating your ex boyfriend, Tyler. You take it out and promptly put it to the side like it’s coated in anthrax. There is absolutely no urge to flick through the pages and relive every moment of that tumultuous, tortuous affair. Below the journal is a t-shirt that belonged to him, then an impressive stack of photos. Happy photos. Smiling photos. Photos that are mostly of just the two of you, always in one or the other’s bedroom. Any photos taken in public have the two of you standing apart, acting as though you don’t know the feel of the other’s skin. There's a birthday present he gave you; a card; a ‘love letter’ that had made you so happy at the time, and only bitter in the aftermath. In fact, all of it made you bitter. All emotions led back to anger, and betrayal, and hurt. 

And yet, you couldn’t find it in yourself to get rid of it. Even now, even still, in a different country, on a different coast: you feel the need to keep it. Treasure it like a cursed artefact. 

You’re happy to be taken out of your nightmarish thoughts by the ping of your phone. You pick it up, expecting a text from Mimsy, only to be surprised at finding one from JJ. 

I’m bored.

Smiling, glad for the distraction, you reply. 

Hi bored. 

Nerd. Srsly tho. I wanna do something. 

You turn your back on the box of memories.

Wanna go to the cinema?

Hello I’m poor??? U acting mad expensive rn

Laughing, you roll your eyes and offer something that you know JJ would never refuse.

Fishing then?

Dope. Pick u up in 5.

You kill the time waiting for JJ by tidying away the last few belongings. The items are returned to the shoe box and hidden under your bed following the philosophy out of sight, out of mind.

The honk of a car horn outside has you grabbing your backpack and heading for the door. JJ sits behind the steering wheel, staring off into the distance as he mindlessly taps along to the beat of the Kendrick song he’s playing. You whistle as you approach and he smiles when he spots you. 

“Where we fishing?”

“Found a good spot the other day,” JJ says, setting off once you’re in the passenger seat. “Caught some good bass and stuff. Spotted bass too.”

“Sounds good,” you hum. You kick your feet up onto the dashboard and pick at the peeling nail varnish on your fingertips. 

There’s no need to fill the quiet of the campervan as JJ drives. You eye him in your peripheral as he concentrates on the road.

His resting face sits with a set jaw and you suddenly imagine him to clench his jaw in his sleep. Lips somewhere between a frown and smile, his eyes are somewhat hooded. His neck is so attractive. You never thought necks could be attractive before, but seeing it tense and relax when he swallows and sighs, the way the skin teases over the Adam’s apple...it's tortuous. You can just picture stretching your hands around it, scratching against the skin of his jugular with your nails, marking his pretty flesh with love bites…

“What’s up?”

“Huh?”

“You lookin' at me. Something up?” JJ asks in all his innocence. 

Your dart your eyes to the road ahead. “Uh, no, no. I’m good.”

“A'right,” he says. Back to quiet. You don’t dare spare another glance at him for the rest of the ride. 

JJ parks up on a quiet country road. You both get out of the car and load up with fishing gear and snackage. JJ takes the cooler, biceps flexing, and the fishing rods. Lugging two collapsable chairs on either shoulder, you follow him with a box of bait and your backpack in hand. He guides you up a dirt path, overgrown with ivy and stinging nettles. A dilapidating jetty comes into view and you’re happy to see it empty. You both take to setting up shop. You weren’t lying to him, the first time that you met: you didn’t much care for fishing. But honestly, you’d take any excuse to spend time with JJ. It’s pathetic to admit to yourself that he could ask you to help him drain a sewer and you’d say yes without a second thought. 

Cracking open a beer, you offer it to JJ. 

“Thanks,” he smiles.

You open your own and the two of you cheers before taking a swig. It’s crisp and cooling in the muggy summer sun. He hands you a prepared fishing rod and you lean against the shaky railing beside him. He’s dug out his cap: the red one that he wore the first time you met. It shadows his face beautifully. You look out to the water and admire the calming view. A sea bird darts across the sky in the distance and you half want to grab for your camera. 

“You have good fishing in Vancouver?” he asks. 

“S’alright,” you reply. “My uncle loves fishing. He used to take me to this spot where you could catch trout as long as your leg.”

“Fuck off,” JJ laughs. 

“I’m serious! Swear to God, I thought this thing was gonna eat me!”

The two of you laugh. Your smile turns solemn at the memory. It hurts to think about your life in Vancouver. It feels like it was years ago, hazy like a lucid dream, distorted with nostalgia. Never before have you been more grateful for facetime or else you might forget Mimsy’s voice.

The day stretches on with the two of you passing drinks and chips and refreshing bait. The bucket starts to fill with some catches. Nothing impressive. Somehow you both end up sitting in your chairs. One hand remains on the rod, waiting for a bite and holding it steady. JJ is reclined in his chair somewhat precariously, feet up on the bannister, weighed down by heavy, black boots. 

“I don’t think I ever asked,” JJ says, catching your attention. He looks to you. “Why’d you move to Kildare anyway?”

“Well, you know the old saying,” you reply. “If at first your marriage fails: pick up and move country, eh?”

“Ah,” JJ replies, chuckling a little. “Is the marriage fixed, then?”

“Hell no,” you snort. “They fucking hate each other. Hardly talk. I think my dad just wanted an excuse to move back to North Carolina.”

“He from here?”

“Yeah, he was born here. I have a ton of family out here too. Well, not in Kildare but in Carolina.”

“Damn,” JJ mumbles. 

“It’s typical of my dad though. He's selfish like that. I mean, it's kind of messed up, don't you think? Dragging me away from my friends. From my life.” Your anger sparks suddenly. “You know, he didn’t even ask me if I wanted to leave. Because why the fuck would I want to leave? My entire life was there! Everything was there!”

JJ doesn’t speak. You catch yourself. Taking a shaky breath, you close your eyes, embarrassed for the outburst. 

“Sorry,” you mumble. “I just…I haven’t really talked about it to anyone yet.”

“You’re good,” JJ says. You look at him to find a small, reassuring smile. “I get it. Parents suck.”

You laugh, shaking your head. Leaning your head back, eyes slipping closed, you agree. “Yep. Parents suck.”

“I’m sorry, by the way,” JJ quietly adds. You open your eyes on him. “That you had to leave Vancouver.”

“Thanks,” you smile, eyes sad. “I know I’ll find a way to be happy here. But right now, I just miss home. I miss Mimsy.”

“Mimsy?”

“My best friend,” you clarify. “She’s the fucking best. Completely unhinged. Obsessed with true crime and conspiracy theories. Zero filter.”

“She sounds like fun.”

“She is. She’d get along with you guys great,” you say. “It’s hard though. The time difference and everything sucks. And we talk a lot now but I’m just worried about the future. Like, what if it gets too much, with the distance, and we get busy and drift apart. She’s been in my life since I was like six years old. I guess it freaks me out to think about her not being there, you know?”

JJ nods. “Guess that’s like me and John B. We’ve been best friends since kindergarten. I can’t imagine how it would feel being, like, six hours apart.”

“It sucks,” you chuckle. “And it’s not just that, either. I feel like I have unfinished things in Vancouver. It’s like I left before I could close the book, if that makes sense.”

“What kind of things?” JJ wonders. He shifts in his seat to face you better. Neither of you are paying much attention to fishing now. 

“Romance things,” you say with a joking roll of your eyes. 

JJ’s brows raise. “You leave a man behind or something?”

“Man is a generous word,” you snigger. “But yeah, sort of. We weren’t together anymore - I mean, maybe we weren’t together ever - but I never got all the answers I wanted…I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

“Most things are,” JJ hums. You have to agree there. Nothing is ever clear-cut, black-and-white. At least not in your experience. “So, what’s the story? He cheat on you.”

“No. Least, I don’t think so,” you say. Shaking your head, you shoot him an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I don’t think I really wanna talk about it.”

“You’re good,” JJ says for a second time that day. He looks down to watch his thumb stroking the condensation on the side of his can. Tactfully avoiding your request, he then asks, “where you, like, in love with him?”

“Yes. God knows why, but, yeah,” you reply with a self-deprecating laugh. “Have you ever been in love?”

JJ squints against the sun as he looks out to the horizon. “Dunno, really. I guess you’d know if you had been in love, right? Like you’d know what that feels like.”

“Yeah, you would,” you return. 

Looking at you, JJ only hesitates a moment before he asks, “what does it feel like? Being in love?”

Smiling wistfully, you reply honestly. “It’s the worst feeling in the world.”

read part four here!

taglist:

@princessuki21 | @psyches-reid | @heybank | @avengersgirllorianna | @rrosiitas | @yourmumstoy | @jjsfavgirl | @void21 | @fictionalcomforts | @gsp420 | @redhead1180 |

[smolsleepyfox]

hello! I've been listening to Wake Up the Wicked on loop pretty much constantly for the past couple days and keep finding new things to love about it! in particular I have many Thoughts about the way Powerwolf's songs with women as the focus have shifted over the years. unfortunately when I try to articulate those thoughts they mostly just come out as "AAAAAAAA Vargamor and Kyrie Klitorem and Joan of Arc just FEEL like such an important thing! I've been a fan for so long but something about these songs makes me (as a fem-adjacent person) feel like I can actually be part of the group!" in one of your posts about your thesis, you note how there's never been a Powerwolf song with a woman werewolf — I'd never noticed that until now, tho Vargamor and Dancing with the Dead feel close. examining that distinction is fascinating!

considering you've got a whole thesis on it and so will likely be able to go deeper than me, I'd love to hear any thoughts you have on how gender is handled in this album as compared to others, and in general, who "gets" to be a monster!

Okay this is a great question and also funnily enough something I've spoken about with another friend recently.

So the thing about monstrosity is that it is very heavily gendered. This doesn't start but is reflected in the Middle Ages where monstrosity is physical (since the distincion body/mind didn't really exist) BUT directly related to gender roles. The example most scholars go with are the Amazons, the mythical warrior women. They are monstrous because they only have one breast AND because they take on both gender roles, making clothing (female) and hunting (male). If you behaved weird people would assume you had a physical abnormality and a physical abnormality could be a sign of somethig wrong (e.g. witch marks). Note that "monstrous" isn't technically synonymous with "bad/evil". From what I gather, bestiaries and collections of monsters from far away lands were a curiosity with no inherent moral dimension, although it obviously held implications for the treatment of queer and disabled people, foreigners etc. Dana Oswald splits monstrosity into hypermasculine, hypersexual (feminine) and hybrid. Hypermasculine is exactly what you think it is, werewolves, giants, anything that is large and hairy and ravenous. The theme here is Taking. Wealth, sex, someone's life. Interestingly, exaggerated sexuality in the middle ages was culturally feminine, so centaurs are monstrously feminine due to their exagerrated sexuality. Another example are sirens. Hypersexual/feminine monsters seduce instead of take by brute force.

About werewolves specifically, let me open with Willem de Blecourt's opening line in a book about werewolf history: There is no werewolf history. What we today see as a werewolf (and Powerwolf uses as a mascot) is a modern cultural concept that is only an approximate to other times and cultures. Let's take the Varcolac, a creature from Slavic mythology (spelled differently in different languages). The Varcolac is often translated as werewolf, but if you look at the mythology it is - simplified - a reanimated corpse that drinks blood. Usually it's a person who was evil/frivolous/was excommunicated in life that rises again. So for all intents and purposes it's a vampire. Powerwolf does have some werewolf/vampire hybrids in their music and on tshirts, but since werewolves and vampires are both hypermasculine monsters that's only a side note.

To talk about as actual a werewolf as possible, you know 1589, you know the story of Peter Stubbe. Peter Stubbe was a highly publicized case that influenced later ones. Elements of his case reappear in trials in the low countries, Germany and England, but not in France because the pamphlets telling his story were not translated into French afawk. Some details also bear striking resemblances to earlier French cases, so it's very difficult to know what actually happened. Peter Stubbe single-handedly (heh) cemented the image of the cannibal werewolf for the early modern public BUT he's an outlier. Werewolf Georg if you will. Cannibalism is definitely a defining trait of many werewolves but almost everything else is different from our modern understanding. The persecution of werewolves in central Europe was almost completely tied to witchcraft allegations. Without getting into historical witchcraft as a whole, there was a concept of male and female witchcraft in line with the gender roles of agrarian society. A werewolf was related to violence against people and livestock as well as sexual threats. Just like witches, werewolves were assumed to transform with an ointment or belt given to them by the devil. The transformation is not physical, just like witches can't actually fly but fall into a trance (induced by the devil). [Note that the idea of physical transformation has been a MASSIVE point of debate for church scholars for as long as said church existed. Go take a look if you're curious.] More modern werewolf lore (1960s) from the B/NL/DE border region shows werewolves to be a shorthand for unacceptable liaisons and sexual assault, possibly homosexuality and bestiality, but usually just people dressed in a wolf pelt taking the piss. The modern idea of the werewolf, specifically the bipedal form and painful transformation is a Hollywood product. We can quite easily pin the origin on one specific film: The Wolf Man from 1941. The transformation and visual presentation was driven by the improved special effects of the film industry and their desire to give people a spectacle. This is also a central trait of monstrosity: It is physical because people want to see it.

SO! If we're being pedantic, no, werewolves are not inherently male. A handful of women were prosecuted as werewolves, though they were the minority within the already minor number of werewolf trials. But it is a fact that the majority of werewolves are male throughout history and werewolf characteristics are - as Dana Oswald puts it - hypermasculine, meaning they exaggerate and therefore threaten the dominant concept of masculinity in a given societal context. That's the baseline of monstrosity- it breaks boundaries and threatens the system it inhabits while reinforcing a rule for the listener.

It's notable that female werewolves in modern film are almost never seen transforming, including in staple films like Underworld. You have those beefy werewolf guys and the women just. Stand there. An outlier that gets quoted in almost every paper I've ever read is Ginger Snaps, which directly deals with the way Ginger's lycanthropy makes her monstrous both in breaking the boundaries of human/animal but also what is acceptable behavior for a girl. I don't have the sources to back this up yet but I see a strong parallel in this to women in Metal in general. Think about it, Metal music is counterculture and is almost defined by depicting monstrosity (satanism, violence, etc) and breaking the boundaries of what is music. Women in Metal are "monstrous" by associating with the transgressive scene the same as men - except they get held to a completely different standard. Metal is so male-dominated the ideal (visual, behavioral) gender presentation cannot include femininity or at least makes two clearly gendered molds. Women in metal, then, have to balance being "Metal" and being sufficiently feminine to be accepted. The male ideal I like to call the 'Metal warrior', because he's so often inspired by historical warrior culture but primarily defines himself by being large, strong, possibly aggressive and definitely drinking a lot. Everything that is masculine but juuuuust over the line of polite society. Which is what Powerwolf sings about as well, they just made it a furry.

-------

ANYWAY sorry for the long-ass background info, I got carried away lol. Note that for the next section, I am doing this off the top of my head since I haven't gotten to that part of the analysis yet. The deadline is approaching, send help.

I like to call Powerwolf my problematic faves because as camp as their performances are and as self-ironic as they try to make themselves out to be, their lyrics and videos are profoundly cishet. This isn't a criticism, just an observation. As far as we know they are cishet men from a rural part of Germany (and one Dutchman). I know we make jokes about the homoeroticism between Falk and Attila but I would not be surprised if they had no idea that's what they're doing. Most cishet people do not think about queerness unless they have a reason, and in a lot of social circles there simply is none. They just don't even consider it. There's something to be said about homosocial bonds in metal music but that's a topic so large I'll skip it for now. The only queer aspect I've seen in the entire history of Powerwolf is that lesbian kiss in the music video of No Prayer at Midnight and that was so blatantly male gaze-y I'm not sure if it even counts. So, fair warning, I'm going to say men and women as in cis men and women because I'm on mobile and typing is annoying as is.

First off, to answer your question: Yes, women have absolutely become a bigger part of Powerwolf's repertoire. Joan of Arc is a historical story that they implemented beautifully, and so is Vargamor. While I personally don't like Kyrie Klitorem it's definitely interesting to analyze in a wider context. What does stick out is that the majority of women in Powerwolf's music are sexualized in some way along with sexuality becoming a larger part of their theme in general. As far as I can see, sexuality was actually not a major part of the Powerwolf brand until Sacrament of Sin. Coleus Sanctus and Resurrection by Erection are from albums before that, but they're single songs on albums otherwise concerned with werewolves, vampires and that warrior image I mentioned before. Their earlier videos have almost never any side characters and it's mostly about spooky priest things and/or werewolves (kind of mixed with vampirism, which is a parallel to the Varcolac).

In general I would say there are two 'roles' that characters in the PW universe take and it was kind of hard to find the right wording, because depending on your reading they have VERY different connotations. I'm just going to call it the 'active' and the 'passive' right now until I've explained what I mean.

Women are sexualized in the music and the videos/artworks. That's just a fact, and hasn't changed much from the beginning until now. It's not even out of character for Power Metal as an heir to classic Heavy Metal and Glam Rock. Powerwolf sing about sex, specifically hetero sex, and mostly from the perspective of cishet men. Matt even said in an interview many years ago that he's unsure if he could write about pussy because he doesn't have one. Yes, really.

The language of the music is clerical, and commonly from the viewpoint of a religious person/priest of course, which reinforces the themes of wildness/hedonism by contrasting them with what is 'proper'. Circling back to my explanations of monstrosity - improper behavior and improper physical appearance are linked, so to break the laws of faith is to become monstrous, possibly physically. The band constantly portrays this overstepping of boundaries in a religious context. Call of the Wild quite literally says "To praise the wild while the bible we're tearing". Corpse paint I would argue I'd a visual marker of monstrosity as well, especially since the band are usually the only ones in that type of makeup.

Just visually, women are a big part in Powerwolf's art and video as side characters, especially burlesque dancers, and they're typically a shorthand for desire and sexuality. Open sexuality is a massive taboo in the Catholic Church, especially in the pseudo-medieval world their music inhabits. And a woman being active in her sexuality, even choosing what, who and how to desire is far over the line even in many modern societies. (Ginger Snaps tackled this as well.) So let's take a look:

There's Demons are a girl's best friend, which is on the surface a warning against being "corrupted" by demons (sexuality) but can also be interpreted - as the title suggests - that the female protagonist is quite aware of what she's doing and likes it. Kiss of the Cobra King shows the female protagonist in white, standing in for purity, before being corrupted and possibly killed for her transgression. Still unsure about that video tbh. Dancing with the Dead is less sexual and leans more heavily into the corruption (by witchcraft?) angle. I feel like there is a disconnect between text and video in this one because in the video, the female protagonist doesn't look at all willing to dance and Attila forces her to, whereas in the text the protagonist seems quite aware and in control of what she's doing. Undress to Confess is pretty fucking clear that the woman is having fun and the artwork shows a nun, while naked, in a dynamic, powerful pose. This is what I'd call the active role. There's also the flip side of that active role that isn't passiveness but control:

Kyrie Klitorem is about how women have power over men by virtue of their sexuality. Powerwolf often uses 'we' in their lyrics and while that's technically a non-gendered pronoun, the songs suggest the narrator is a (cishet) man. Venom of Venus is also similar in topic and structure, and the vampire queen from the Killers with the Cross video is also clearly in control while being sexy (as are the hunters).

So in the 'active' role, women can be corrupted, seductive as well as empowered, it really depends on your reading. Same goes for the videos by the way - the dancers can be shown in an objectifying way, but thinking of the dancer in My Will be Done she is on equal standing with the other characters asking Attila for something. (Also, burlesque dance is an awesome art form.) Angel and Devil in that same music video are portrayed by women. However, the reduction of a woman to her body is obviously part of a long history of sexualization.

Which brings me to the passive role and the use of the nun image. Nuns have been sexualized for absolute ages. There's drawings and gossip from the Middle Ages about nuns and priests doing stuff they shouldn't. Good for them etc pp.* Powerwolf is really not reinventing the wheel by contrasting the nun's modesty/virtuousness with unrestrained sexuality. I mean look at this.

The role of women in the Catholic Church is an entire can of worms by itself. In Powerwolf's art, the love of Jesus/God is just placed on a different figure. I actually hesitate to interpret what the intention is, if it's critical of the church or a power fantasy. They absolutely criticize religion in their songs (Glaubenskraft, Sinners of the Seven Seas) but their visuals are also heavily inspired by historical art and can just be meant to look cool. That's something the band stresses in almost every interview when they are asked about deeper meanings: It has to be entertainment first. Their cover artist Zsofia Dankova told me the same: Looking cool has priority.

So nuns are in general portrayed as subservient, as they are in history and art, and sexualized. The focus on the band in performances - which in itself isn't really that surprising - and Attila's and Falk's role as 'clergy' does put them into a position of power. Here's where it gets interesting, because the bottom line of Powerwolf has been and is Have fun. In Wake up the Wicked it's a major plot point that one of them actively invites the young priest (altar boy? Idk I grew up Protestant). The artworks draw on art conventions from pulp fiction and classical works, but if you look at the lyrics involving women** it's either about submitting yourself (to pleasure) or actively seeking it out.

This has gotten way too fucking long but here's a minor detour before we get to the end. What else does PW sing about? Yes, werewolves, and history, but regardless of the underlying inspiration (Blood for Blood is about an Irish legend, I wouldn't have guessed that just from the lyrics) they sing about either bravery and power, or excess and hedonism, sometimes both. I've already mentioned the warrior ideal in my introduction, and that does a LOT of heavy lifting. Many of the artworks and merch have some sort of military theme, especially the crusades because that's fitting for the medieval-ish vibe the band has. The 'holy' knights as werewolves is both commentary on the actual crusades in a way, but also puts the listener into the body of a powerful beast heading into battle, which is just plain fun. Plenty of music is about riding into battle, Viking Metal exists. I spoke to Zsofia Dankova, Powerwolf's resident visual artist, and asked her what she thinks about the werewolf being implicitly male. She said she doesn't really see the werewolf she draws as gendered because it's just a symbol, something that stands in for power. I was a bit dubious about that answer at first, but it actually shows my own cultural bias, because that is the connotation of the werewolf at work, not the artwork itself. You can absolutely argue that the positions and clothes the werewolf is in (see image above) are men's, but for the most part, the wolves in their art are clothed in simple robes or armour that anyone could wear. It is just convention that makes it seem male. Growling (the vocal technique) is also male-coded even though men and women who growl sound identical.

I'm not going into more detail about the depiction of masculinity because y'all can read my thesis for that. Instead, I want to return to my introduction about what is considered monstrous: The breaking and exaggeration of social norms. Sexuality is what makes the women in Powerwolf monstrous - alongside a proclivity for witchcraft. Vargamor shows her to be a mother as the name implies, but more importantly a wise leader and powerful magic user. It's implied that she can fight, but the chorus is more insistent that she dwells in the shadows and is a steady presence for many different iterations of the pack through the years.

The men on the other hand are shown to be monstrous by being violent, hedonistic beasts. The songs again and again reiterate wildness and unrestrained summer fun battle prowess. Technically you could argue that 'we' doesn't have to mean men, but that would ignore centuries of cultural connotations and that it needs a pretty good in-text reason to assume an all-male metal band is writing their songs in a female lyrical I (we?).

Powerwolf quite simply portrays monstrosity as it has been since the Middle Ages, along gendered lines. This makes sense because they draw on given cultural conventions, history and folklore, they're just on the side of the monster. There's definitely something to be said about the sexualization of women in Metal and the male gaze, but the wolves have also very clearly heard the call for more female representation.

If anyone is still reading, congratulations I nearly drove myself insane here.

* As with most things in life, this isn't black and white. Nuns had some social advantages and there were most likely plenty of consensual relationships, but as women in a patriarchal society they were still under the authority of men who could harm them. ** I excluded Glaubenskraft because that song breaks with the Powerwolf universe by adressing a current, real-life injustice. Completely different topic.

[nohoney]

♡ crumpled photographs of me ♡

notes: the first part to the teddy bear series! it stays somewhat in the canon universe of bnha, while hawks still works for the commission. i remember reading a lot of ‘secret relationship with hawks’ fics when i really started to like his character and of course want to add my own silly little contribution.

♪ Now I'm finding knives under the sheets / Crumbled photographs of me ♪

warnings: yandere hawks (more soft tho), reader is very distressed, somewhat dubcon-ish (nothing explicit) but it’s how the reader has to cope with her environment

words: 5.6k

synopsis:

All photographs of you.

Keigo sat on the couch when you walked further into the apartment, just nonchalantly taking pictures out of a photo album from your apartment and crumpling them first before throwing them aside.

“I want these to be filled with only us now, okay? I don’t like thinking that you had a life before me.”

There was a time that you were willing to pose in front of a camera and smile for a picture. You weren’t exactly always prepared for your picture to be taken but you at least knew how to angle your head in a flattering angle and give a little smile that made it seem like you were picture ready. Back then, you preferred your photos taken in private. A few photographer friends would ask to use you as a subject on occasion or on the rare moments that you decided that you needed to update your resume photo, most of your best pictures then were taken in a more controlled environment with someone to guide you.

For a while, you had a small appreciation for film cameras.

There was a nostalgia to getting the film developed and then seeing how the pictures came out with no preview aside from just trusting the lighting through the viewfinder and a little flash.

It was a silly little thing that you enjoyed with him at first, going through stacks of developed pictures and picking out the best ones and laughing at the worst ones. Even if you could never take photos out in the world like a regular couple, you still cherished being able to have this special privilege with the number two Pro Hero, whom the outside world would only know as Hawks but to you he was Keigo Takami. It felt special to be photographed by him and to be the only person in his camera roll.

You had started to feel much differently about that fact when you had decided to end the relationship.

Loving Keigo was a choice that you made, starting a relationship despite the risks that came with dating a Pro Hero was a choice that you made, and walking away from Keigo was the hardest choice you had to make when it proved too difficult to attempt to maintain a normal relationship with him. It was already hard enough with all of his duties that were expected of him on the daily and it was even more difficult trying to circumvent the commission that had trained and raised the beloved winged hero of the country. You wanted to believe that his wings would always shield you from the prying eyes of the outside world and it would block out anything that would come between you.

“We can try harder. I know this is tough on you but please, I want you by my side.” Keigo was gently pleading to you while you avoided his heartbroken gaze. “Don’t you know how crazy I’ll go without you?”

At the time, those words were just a phrase that you didn’t take very seriously.

Thirteen days after the break up, you didn’t think Keigo would be standing in front of you again but with the most eerie gaze you had never seen him sport before. He threw a folder onto the countertop of the kitchen with pictures sliding out easily. Pictures of you that he’d taken in intimate moments, pictures that you agreed to be the subject of when he had brought you to a sexed up high and thought it would just be good fun. “What are these?”

“My favorite pictures of you.”

His tone was so soft yet his gaze on you was so hard. You remember how he slowly looked over the photographs with an intensity that left you unsure what to do. Nudes and sex selfies of yourself had never made you self conscious during the relationship but you worried if this was meant to be some sort of blackmail. Keigo didn’t seem the type for revenge porn but the possibility of it still hurt you.

“You never pose for me anymore, dove. It makes me a little sad. I miss that part of our relationship.”

There was nothing playful or joyful about getting your picture taken anymore. Keigo had ruined that beyond repair. He frightened you into being scared of being photographed by him. Just because you weren’t willing to have your picture taken by him doesn’t mean that you were allowed to deny him however. The first few times you resisted, you were learning about Keigo’s true temper underneath all the easy-going breeziness that was instilled as a means of masking his true intentions.

If you had to take a few measly photos then you’d deal with it, it was just Keigo’s impeccable timing that made you reluctant to cooperate. It was often at times that you weren’t prepared mentally for the task because he insisted on candids. And when he takes a photo with you looking upset, Keigo in turn gets his feelings hurt that the pictures don’t come out like they used to. If you were going to make him happy, you had to gather the mental energy to do so.

Taking photos then and taking photos now was so different.

Thinking about this, your chest tightens and you feel an invisible pressure on you that’s weighed down on you since you were locked away in this luxury apartment.

You remember being escorted through the hallways to the front door of your prison, the men around you hired from the very people who had trained, raised, and invested in the beloved Pro Hero Hawks. It was an agreement that you had no choice but to agree to. It was of no issue to shackle down one quirkless girl to keep their invested project from going rogue.

Your job was simple enough: keep him happy.

Keep him happy and you will be cared for, none of your personal information would be ousted.

They threatened to make you a pariah with just a click of their fingers and all because Keigo didn’t know how to handle a breakup. If you had known that it was going to be the result of falling for Keigo Takami, you would have never looked his way in the first place. You wouldn’t have been lulled by his quick wit and humor, and you would have never unknowingly signed your life away to a Pro Hero that all of the country fawns over. Even though he is the other half of the relationship, the public would immediately take his side because he is someone important and you are not.

When you stepped into the luxury apartment, there were balled up pieces of trash that littered the floor. There was a crinkling that you could hear further down but you were reluctant to investigate at first. Your escorts provided no help, only having done their job and promptly shut the door to your prison. When you picked one piece up, you slowly unfurled it only to find it to be a photograph of yourself a few years ago. It was taken with a group of friends for a going away party for one of them. The next one was of you just lounging in a beach chair and then another was of you captured when you were mid-laugh.

All photographs of you.

Keigo sat on the couch when you walked further into the apartment, just nonchalantly taking pictures out of a photo album from your apartment and crumpling them first before throwing them aside.

“I want these to be filled with only us now, okay? I don’t like thinking that you had a life before me.”

You had a life before him, one that was fulfilling even if it did come with some painful parts. There were regrets and mistakes before but it was your life and you cherished it. Truly you had wanted to fit Keigo somewhere inside your life, tried to realign his piece where you thought it should fit but the two of you were from different worlds. He had an invisible hand hovering above him to tell him how to navigate his world both on the surface and underneath, and you had freedom.

You had freedom but it was dashed away the moment you decided to break things off with Keigo.

He took it away.

These words have rung throughout your mind ever since Keigo locked you into this prison. They weigh heavily on you as you stare out the floor to ceiling windows, looking out towards the other high rises and down to the concrete ground where the civilians, other heroes, and sidekicks walk with no clue that you wished you were among them. It repeats over and over as you scrub yourself underneath the shower spray and lather fancy soaps and shower oils into your skin.

Keigo had gone to his agency upset with you.

He had woken you up with the flash of his camera and it had disturbed you. All he had wanted was just a simple photo of you sleeping, that’s all. The only thing you had to do was just close your eyes and play the part but you turned away with a quiet plea to let you rest. Even with your eyes shut, you must have still looked stressed so you didn’t look the part of a peacefully sleeping girlfriend when Keigo tried to ready the camera for another photo.

The film camera was slammed down on Keigo’s side of the nightstand and he left home without another word.

When he used to take pictures of you sleeping back when you were happy, you’d rouse with a playful ‘fuck off’ but happily pose for Keigo. Now it just felt violating when he tried to recreate what you thought was innocent before. Even with all the disgust you have, it’s still expected of you to do as he wants.

Keigo still wants the relationship to continue on as if you’re not threatened by the safety commission to remain with him, to act like this is all your own will.

You managed to salvage photographs of your old life, it’s the only thing you can hold onto that reminds you that you had freedom and your own will to do things. They’re hidden in your own special place, a little area that you’re sure to never give away because Keigo would be mad that you held onto something of your life before him. Photos of you living your life before Keigo Takami ever came along.

The ruined lines of the pictures make you upset since they were so pristine before but it’s all you have.

Staring at the you in those pictures makes you jealous but then also with pity.

If only she’d known what was in her future. If only you could touch this photo and tell yourself in the past, “Do not fall for the Winged Hero Hawks.”

You can’t allow yourself to wallow though; Keigo will be home soon and you need to put him in a good mood.

So you tuck your old pictures away and go through your walk in closet. There’s a drawer of intimates that are specifically Keigo’s favorites. He appreciated all forms of lingerie on you but his favorites were sheer nighties with the matching colored thongs. So you pluck one out from a drawer and discard the silk robe to dress yourself instead. You build up the mental strength for when Keigo will come back home and you’ll need to do your part to make sure that he’s a happy man.

“Keigo! Ew, what if it comes out ugly! You have to tell me when you’re taking a picture of me!”

“Nonsense baby,” Keigo would chuckle and ready the camera again, “you always look perfect to me.”

You do miss the happy times with Keigo but you couldn’t recreate them anymore after everything that happened.

Inside the apartment you can hear Keigo having just come home so you take in a breath to steel yourself before presenting yourself to him. Taking the film camera on his side of the bed, you hold it in your hands as you walk out to greet Keigo. You try not to be scared when his eyes naturally look to you coming out from the hallway, his eyes drawing up and down before he sees the camera in your hands. “I’m home.” He announces as is the usual custom of any person returning from the outside.

“Welcome back Keigo,” you greet him and slowly pad your way over to him, “thank you for all your hard work today.”

Not that you know what his work always entails now that you know the hero commission is the one that handles many of the biggest cover ups and secrets that are supposed to serve the interest of society. The world of a hero was a much darker place than you had imagined it to be. It was more than just taking down bad guys in the streets and being a symbol of protection; there were dirty and bloody secrets kept at bay to keep the image of hero pristine.

You are one of them after all, a dirty secret to keep the number two hero happy and compliant to work under the commission.

“What’s all this?” Keigo asks with a touch of wariness but also an excitement that you’ve learned to recognize in your time together with him. He’s shrugging off his jacket after dispersing his feathers off and discarding his gloves as you approach, some of his feathers tickling your face as they float around you when you get close enough to him. “Lovebird?”

Keep your composure. Make him happy.

“I… I’m really sorry about this morning Kei. I was just in a bad mood and I took it out on you. Lemme make it up to you?” You ask in your sweetest voice. You reach one hand up to take off his glasses and headphones, setting them aside on the most nearby surface before brushing your hand through his feathery hair.

Waiting with bated breath, you wonder if he’ll be happy or if he’ll still be upset.

When he turns his face to kiss your palm, you’re relieved that it will go in a good direction.

“You really hurt my feelings this morning but I forgive you. You’re so lucky that I love you so much.” He forgives you, adoration shining in his eyes but you can see the twisted affection that’s mixed in as well. It does not sit well with you, it stirs uncomfortably in your stomach, but you can not fight him nor could you run away.

You agreed to this after all, to be his caged bird and let him believe that this life was the best for you.

Taking him by the wrist, you walk with him past the windows that overlook the city. The city that he protects, the city that you wished to be a part of again. You guide him to the bedroom where you’ve set up for what looks like a romantic date. There’s flower petals sprinkled onto the bed and candles lit, two wine glasses sit on a fancy wooden tray along with the wine bottle.

It almost looks like you’re on a honeymoon.

“Oh lovebird, all this for me? This is why you’re the sweetest.”

God, you wish you could just smash that glass over his head and run out the door. You wished there was some place you could hide and never be found. You wished that Keigo used to be his normal self before this.

You hand him his glass and clink yours against his, taking a sip to at least make you a bit more relaxed so that you could give him what he wants. “Easy baby, don’t drink too fast.” He reminds you after sipping and swirling the red in his glass. But you need to do this fast, get this over with so that you can rest as peacefully as you can.

“Sit on the bed for me, drink it slowly okay.”

Keigo sets down his glass on the wooden tray and readies the camera towards you. You had a friend that would take boudoir photo shoots, you’d attended with them before to watch them direct the model to look sultry and sensual. Thinking back on the memories, you can hear their guiding voice as you pose for the first photo.

The wine glass is emptied and your mind is fuzzy already, you’re grateful that you’re a lightweight. All you needed was just that first glass to get through the excruciating start. It makes it easier to do all this, tilting your head a certain way, posing your hand against your lips, lifting the sheer skirt of the mighty to tease with a flash of the pretty lace underneath. At one point your glass is refilled and you’re grateful that more alcohol will make it easier on your poor, stressed mind.

Photo after photo taken until Keigo is satisfied.

“Fuck baby, you turn me on so much. I’m glad we did this.”

Strangely enough, you’re turned on too but you believe that it’s the wine that makes your head swim with desire. Your drunk mind sees Keigo’s glass that he hasn’t bothered to pick back up and drink, mindlessly reaching and going for a third glass for the evening. There’s too much enthusiasm in how you attempt to polish off Keigo’s drink, a drop of the wine dripping down and then falling onto the sheer nightie. “Ah baby, slow down. You got some on you.” Keigo chastises you lightly.

Keigo takes away the glass along with the tray off the bed. Wiping at your mouth with the back of your hand, you lick off the traces of wine first before looking down and sighing down at the single drop of red wine. You lick at your thumb and see if you can rub the spot off even though you know that it needs to be treated with club soda first before giving it a wash.

“Baby, let’s get that off you alright? Can’t have you wearing this now.” Keigo’s hands are gentle as he slips the nightie off of you and a few feathers carry it to the laundry basket inside the walk-in closet. More feathers slowly separate from his wings but fall gently down on top of your body as you lie back. They tickle you and feel so soft as they land on top of your skin. With the wine in your system and your inhibitions lowered, you look exactly how he’s wanted you to when taking photos.

Soft and vulnerable, almost close to the person you used to be before you became a prisoner.

All that’s missing was the love in your eyes but he’ll settle for your stupid, drunk gaze at this moment.

“God, you drive me wild… you know that right? I thought about you all day,” Keigo mutters more to himself but you manage to catch his words, “I was so mad at first. I just want us to be happy but you’re so much more difficult these days. I do everything for you and I can’t believe how ungrateful you were!”

Your eyes watch as a feather takes position in his hand and recognize how it hardens to a sharpened edge. His feathers are soft but they can cut through stone like butter if he willed it. It’s held close to your neck and you instinctively cower from it. You’ve never seen his feathers do any harm and you wouldn’t like to know what it would feel like. “I’m sorry… I said I was sorry!” You start to sniffle, “Keigo, I’m sorry…”

His anger melts away and then suddenly he’s dropped himself on top of you with the feathers softly dropping by your head. His head nuzzles into the crook of your neck and he grips the bedsheets right by your head. This is what it’s like with Keigo now, to stand on your tiptoes around him and be ready for any mood swing he has. And he seems to only have two: either insanely lovesick or just resentfully in love with you.

You’re not comfortable with either but you know which one you would rather deal with.

When he barges into your personal space and nuzzles you with affection even when you don’t want to be touched, you’d prefer that over when he’s disappointed in you. That when he gives you the cold shoulder and he gazes at you with a lot of love and just as much disgust when you don’t act right, it’s more stressful to make up with him and make him happy with you again.

Because in the end that’s what you are there for.

It’s what the hero commission demanded of you.

Make Hawks happy and keep him happy.

So you hold Keigo close to you, your hand curling to the nape of his neck while the other rubs circles over his back. Your touch makes him melt and you hear a happy little sigh from him that it’s almost relieving to hear. When you feel his lips press to the pulse of your neck, you turn your head so that Keigo has more access to do as he pleases. The wine makes it easier for you to allow this to happen but it also makes you a bit more sensitive. He elicits sounds out of you that you aren’t sure yourself are acting from your end or genuine. Because Keigo has a talent for blurring the lines for you.

Underneath the fear you have for him, there’s still a bare string of love that hasn’t died. Love for him that he doesn’t deserve with what he’s done to you, but it remains even when you cry in your prison.

You tell yourself that relying on that last shred of affection of who Keigo used to be is what will be your survival tactic.

“Wanna kiss you, c’mon.” Keigo is capturing your lips before you have a chance to say anything. It’s not like you’d have the option to say no to him anyway. The wine in your bloodstream makes you a little lazy, just letting yourself receive his kisses rather than show equal enthusiasm. But your hands wander up his arms, touching his shoulders before sliding down to a zipper that lies at the back of his shirt.

This part is familiar to you as it is to him.

It’s an easy chore for him to move his feathers out the way when he either dresses or undresses himself. It’s what comes with having a quirk like his and it’s not something he’s had to think about at this point in his life. You pull the zipper down from the back and Keigo does the work of undressing the top half of his body, shrugging his arms out the sleeves before tossing the shirt aside. One hand presses into the space beside your head, the other hand taking yours right at his belt buckle. “Undo it for me.”

Your fingers are a little clumsy but you complete the task, pulling his belt from the loops and tossing it off the bed.

“This is yours, I’ve been waiting to give it to you.” Keigo mutters lowly as he smooths his hand over the print of where his cock lies. “Do you deserve it though? After making me mad this morning?”

You don’t want to be reminded of how upset he was nor do you want him to bring it up. You’re doing what you’re supposed to; being soft and compliant, wearing the clothes he wants, and just trying to avoid making him angry. The wine, the camera, and lingerie are all for his pleasure and none of yours.

“Is this… not enough?” you ask, your mind struggling to find the words at first, “You’re not happy that I did this?”

You’re given a gentle smile and he chuckles, like he thinks you’re being silly. His hand cups at your breast, the pad his thumb ghosting over your nipple and awes how it hardens under his touch. He says nothing to your question, he’s allowed to not answer your questions but you have to answer every one of his.

So when he asks, “You want me happy, right?”

You reply, “Yes, I want you to be happy.”

Keigo tells you, “Say you’re mine and that you love me.”

You have to repeat, “I’m yours and I love you.”

Keigo melts over your words and for now, it smothers the scary glint in his eyes that you’re too wary of. He’s sick on whatever his version of love is for you and you need to make him happy. The tip of your finger draws along the lace of the panties you still wear, catching his attention and a lustful groan breaches his lips. “‘M horny Kei… want you.” you mutter.

“Yeah? Can you show me? Go back to the pillows and show me, okay?”

You crawl towards the headboard where all the soft pillows lay. He doesn’t see how you’re blinking to get your bearings in order, flopping against the pillows and opening your legs for him. Pulling the panty to the side with one hand, you shudder as you drag a finger against your pussy and keep your eyes lowered rather than on him.

One finger teases into you as you hear Keigo unzip his pants, deciding to discard the rest of his clothes and he wraps his hand around his cock. He slowly strokes himself while his eyes are trained in between your legs.

Keigo watches as you finger yourself for him, drinking in all the whines that you yourself are unsure are for his entertainment or if you actually are enjoying yourself. Because it does feel good to finger yourself but it’s only being done since you had to make it up to him. There is no such thing anymore as Keigo apologizing to you for when you’re upset.

“Baby, you are such a pretty thing.” He mutters more to himself than to you. A feather floats into his hand and he crawls towards you. Just like before, the feather suddenly sharpens and you become scared. Your body seizes and you’re about to beg Keigo to not hurt you but he shushes you before anything is said.

He slices off the panty you were wearing, careful not to knick you and pulls the flimsy little thing off you easily.

You’re relieved when the feather softens and it drops gently to the top of the bed.

“Why were you scared?” Keigo asks, his tone of voice hard and his eyes narrowing at you.

Oh god, maybe you shouldn’t have drunk all that whine to relax you. You stutter over your words, speaking before your mind can actually produce a thought. “I thought you were gonna punish me…”

“Punish you?”

You nod your head dumbly, “‘Cause I made you mad today. You were right to be mad. I made you mad.”

A few tense seconds pass.

His hands are gentle as he rests them on your thighs, his touch reassuring and he coos over you. “You are such a good little bird. What did I do to deserve you?” He asks, pulling your hand towards his lips so he can suck the slick off your fingers.

You don’t deserve me. You took me away from my life.

“I um… don’t know. I’m just me.”

“And that’s all you have to be. You don’t have to think or do anything for yourself anymore. Just be you.” Keigo states for you. He moves to lie on his stomach, making himself comfortable as he starts to lick at your pussy with his hands resting on your lower belly. He does it gently, he’s always done it gently first before he gets more enthusiastic, working you up until you end up a whiny mess.

The sounds you make as he eats you out are real. They’re not made from an intention to lull him to a sense of calm; they are actually real. Keigo has always been genuine in wanting you to feel good, it’s where he puts most of his heart into. Everything else has changed but him wanting you to still enjoy sex has remained the same. He’s a giver in this sense but you can’t forget how much he’s taken from you.

“Oh god… oh fuck…” you whisper, one of your hands tangling in his hair and the other grasping his hand. Your hips shift in want, writhing and grinding onto him as you get closer and closer to that peak.

If only this were like before everything had changed. Before he locked you away with all your rights taken away. As giving as he was, even if you hadn’t planned to break up with him, would he have taken away your life eventually? Done it little by little until it was too late to notice?

If you could fight him, you would.

“Oh fuck, I need you right now. So badly, you want me too right?”

But you let him take from you in order to live another day. To keep your sanity in check, you pretend when he kisses you that it’s the old Keigo that used to make you feel safe. He brings you to that high even though your mind is swimming. Your head is in a daze and you’re drunk and dying for him to let you reach that peak of heaven.

He drags you by your hips to pull you closer to him. Keigo wants to be in missionary and your brain rattles a little inside your skull. You’re drunk, whining as you attempt to focus your gaze, feeling feathers on the bed and just wanting to rest now at this point. You haven’t done much but you never have much energy these days when your mind is so stressed out. “Keigo. Kei, ‘m dizzy…”

“It’s okay, I won’t be too rough then.”

He leans down to give you a little peck before readying himself before you. The tip pushes in and you groan, feeling how he shallowly thrusts into you, like he’s teasing and making you want it. You’re not sure if you do but you have to act like it for him. So you beg him in the way that he likes, your voice a little pitched and breathless, telling him that you’re aching to be full of him. Missed you, I missed you, I miss you.

“Okay dove, okay. I’m here, see? Feel me here?” Keigo punctates the last word, sharply pushing himself into you with a grunt. He’s sheathed fully inside and he’s absolutely lovesick all over again as he looks down at you. “You miss me?”

I miss the old you.

“Mm-hmm… don’t leave me. Stay here.” you beg of him.

Words you used to say to him before everything changed. When you and him would make love before and you knew that he had to go back to the outside, you’d beg him so much to stay another day with you. To leave all the work to his sidekicks and make another sex video or take nude photos to put away in a secret box. Your head replays old memories of before as Keigo fucks you slowly, the sensual way in how he moves his hips into you making your eyes roll to the back of your head and you realize that you’re not acting anymore in the moment. “I’m about to cum, I’m gonna cum!”

He’s brought you to heaven in this hell.

Keigo tells you to keep cumming for him, rocking harder into you, cursing how good you feel around him and praising you for being such a wonderful little thing for him.

Your mind goes blank, voice catching in your throat, and your toes curl.

And then he’s rough, fucking hard into your cunt to meet you where you’re at.

Even after everything, Keigo still is beautiful to you as he cums. His eyes get lidded, the sounds he makes have the butterflies fluttering in you, and you can pretend for just a few seconds that it used to be like before. He used to drop down next to you, breathless but happy, and you’d revel in the short time you had together with him before you had to return to the daily routine of maintaining the life you built.

But now all you have is time to do nothing and all you are is just a bird in a cage.

“I just want a comfortable life for you. I love you, you don’t have to do anything.”

He claims to love you.

That’s why he didn’t like it when you broke up with him, because he says he loves you. That’s why he had to get the commission involved, because he was too heartbroken to continue his hero duties and obsessed even harder over you. That’s why he wants to erase any life you had before him and just fill it with him only in the same way only you consume his thoughts.

Just Keigo.

The high of an intense orgasm has you gasping for breath, almost emotional as you hiccup and tears come to your eyes, and you don’t know where all these emotions are coming from. You try to stop crying because you’re scared Keigo will take it the wrong way. He needs to be happy, it’s why you put yourself through all that.

“Shh baby, it’s okay. You were so good.” Keigo hushes to you without coupling with his usual tender touches. You wipe at your tears, looking up at him just in time to see the camera poised in his hand.

Flash!

A few days later, you look at the photos that were taken of you from that night. Your stomach burns uncomfortably as you look at the pictures, unable to recognize the girl in them knowing fully well that it was you photographed. The very last was Keigo’s favorite, the one of you with tears on your face and looking… beautiful actually.

You look at the photo, admiring it briefly before you turn it over.

For a while the camera goes missing. Keigo finds it later hidden inside your drawer of underwear, but he decides to let it go. All the pictures he took were accounted for, which was what mattered more to him.

[louisisalarrie]

hypothetically do you have any goss about hs4 or lt3 or 1D6

1D6 dkwkdncsisodnc I’m obsessed hahahahaha

the hs4 thing is very tight lipped - all these folks on twitter posting ominous hs4 hints or blinds or whatever is so ridiculous lol, but that’s what happens when you’re as big as him with a fanbase like his! so unfortunately no, I don’t have any goss :( only suspicions and thoughts based on things I see/hear. but it’s gonna be a massive drop so it’s under an absolute lock and key I can assure you that

lt3 I’ve heard won’t be for a while, but knowing louis’ work ethic and how much he loves being on the road (the TM I know who worked with him during Walls tour in a couple of different countries has some very funny stories but also can back up how much louis loves touring like it’s all he wants to do), I wouldn’t be surprised if it popped up sooner. he’s kind of been so focused on this tour tho and doesn’t love recording on the road like they had to do during 1d days because it takes his attention away from the live shows but he does song write on the road so he’s prob got a bit of it sorted out but I wouldn’t expect anything soon

1D6 I would lose my mind genuinely. no news on that and the hypothetical I posted about a reunion a while back hasn’t moved either, so unfortunately nothing there. But I imagine they could do a bit of a vault thing? Just drop an album full of unreleased songs? Weird they haven’t done that yet… like I get that a lot of adjustments would need to be made because not all those songs would be mastered and mixed to the best quality or even fully recorded but that would be a sick drop prior to a new album

Sorry I’ve got no goss for you! But I hope this also proves I’m not out here trying to be an insider and get some clout with wild predictions and pretending I know everything hahahaha

[romanarose]

Hey, I love your HCs of the Triple Frontier boys <3 I was thinking about what are some of their hobbies/interests and what kind of music they like to listen to. What do you think?

excellant question nonnie!!! I have LOTS of hc's, thanks for asking!!!

Santiago Garcia

We know Santi loves Metallica

And the sountrack to TF has Fleetwood Mac and Bob Dylan

I think Santi just loves music! He flies a lot so he spends time listening to full albums.

He doesn't have a lot of free time

Despite everyones teasing, he's not here to fuck pretty women. He's here to work.

Still, despite onl a few personal items he does have his guitar. Plays it a lot.

It does help with women

When he was a kid he thought he'd become a singer, he loves Vicente Ferdanez and Juan Gabriel

Alas, for a poor immigrant family Santi couldn't abandon them to persu wishy-washy dreams, he needed to work. Hence the military.

Still, it makes him happy when he sit and play guitar, watching people smile.

He learns songs from all his friends and families favorite bands.

William Miller

Will hates modern country.

Growing up in the yee haw south I think he hates what it's become

Was not upset when Tobey Keith died at all, think he ruined the genre in the post-9/11 nationalism

He enjoys thegrassroots rock movement (springsteen, melloncamp, petty) and the blues.

Him and Santiago both love Fleetwood Mac. It combines Santi's love of rock and Will's love of the blues.

Enjoys jazz but also classical music. He has more interest in the instruments than the lyrics of music anyway.

Him and Frankie both love love love Johnny Cash (who doesn't?)

Will loves suduko

He loves things that calm his mind.

Will likes sports, it was how him and Ben spent a lot of time on the farm.

To this day he likes going out to play ball with Ben. It helps Benny with his ADHD.

Benjamin Miller

Benny does not find tossing a ball around or playing basketball helps his ADHD at all

What he does find is that is helps Will's obbsessive obsessive worrying about him.

So, in that sense, Ben likes it because 1. it's fun and 2. it's a rare chance where he can help Will. Will doesn't let people help him much

Benny looooooves trash TV

The Bachelor, Love after Lockup, Love is Blind

He likes shows he doesn'thave to pay a whole lot of attentionto.

Not that Benny isn't smart bc I haaaaate when people act like he isn't.

But with his ADHD (which I hc he has) he tends to have a lot of things going at once. He's not going to be able to sit down and fully commit to something like The Handmaid's Tale.

Will go head to head on country music with Will and Frankie

he likes the bro country like Florida Goergia Line, Jason Aldean

No one ever accussed him of great taste, okay?

He's here for a good time, not a long time.

He doesn't like the racist or anti-lgbt artists and won't give them his money for concerts

But you can't fauly him for getting don to Red Solo Cup

Also loves classic hair metal (wore an AC/DC shirt most of the movie)

Francisco Morales

Frankie loves country music and grunge

His favorite Benny singing tho

Favorite is anything Chris Cornell and I'll stand by that!!!

Soundgarden, Audioslave, Temple of the Dog, his solo work

Frankie is a busy man, but I like to think he likes lego's

He's an enginier, so you know he's a smart man. I bet he loves making lego sets come together

Frankie has very strong opinions on children's television.

Bubble Guppies > Paw Patrol

Hates Paw Patrol but his daughter likes Skye becuase she's a hellicopter/pilot dog so he allows it.

Loves being out in nature. He's trying ot instill a love of the outdoors in his daughter, but also loves pending time with the guy, or even by himself

When he's overwhelmed, Frankie likes to go for a walks in the woods.

Will fuck up a farmers market all DAY

Oddly enjoys mowing the lawn

My man is Hank Hill

"Why would anyone do drugs hen they could just mow their lawn."

Now that he's sober, he finds lawncare is a great way to distract himself while still being a present father. He can do that while his daughter plays.

******************

thank you so much for the ask!!!! i love chatting about my boys <3

[ateez-himari]

Hi bb!!! How are you!?? I hope you're having a good day and resting between uni🥹

I had this question(four actually) I wanted to ask cause I just remembered it and I don't wanna forget it(them lol)

Sooo the first one isss at the time of mma 2019 when ateez performed blood sweat and tears, was it known to the fans that hima was yoongi's adoptive sister cause I would love to see the reactions of the bts memberss to their amazing stage😗😗

Second one isss have ateez met bts personally, as in talked to them or sat with them🙏 espically knowing how close hima is with the bts member as they are like her older brothers

Third onee isss has hima ever appeared on suchwita and if so did any of her members go with her or did she go solo, plus was she their for the same reason as jungkook(to eat lol😭😭) or did she go to promote their album(by my calculations I'm guessing it's golden hour since they always record the episodes before the albums are released) , and did they bring up any childhood memories they had of themselves

Fourthhh and last onee issss did hima visit jin after he was out of the military and did she by any chance film any thing with him(run jin, dance challenge, etc...)🥱

Please bb take care of yourself for meee stay healthy and hydrated and remember to always rest even when uni's annoying okay??? Or I'll scold you🫵💥💥

OMG MY SWEET I MISSED YOU!! 🥰I actually recently started working so I'm a little tired but otherwise resting whenever I can don't you worry!

• People found out around November 2019 that the two are related (someone leaked medical information since Hima asked Yoongi not to say anything as she didn't want her debut to be attributed to their relationship) so the news was fresh during the MAMA awards! She had some partner work with Wooyoung and San during their 'Blood, Sweat and Tears' segment which Jungkook and Jimin were so happy about but Yoongi looked about ready to kill them both. RM was shocked during Wonderland because since when did she become part of the demon line, the 11 year old who couldn't even get angry ?? J-Hope was cheering the entire time...maybe even a little teary eyed too but he'll never admit it. Taehyung was so happy to see her on stage after seeing her go through exhausting training for so long and was holding his phone up with 'our tiger cub' flashing across the screen. When came her part of 'Good-bye Baby' Jin made the most dramatic shocked face. Since both groups were sitting relatively close to each other (I think ATEEZ were in front of them ?) she hugged her brother right after getting off stage and J-Hope gave her a kiss on the forehead

• ATEEZ have definitely eaten with BTS more than a few times which at first was very awkward, the first few times would have them crumpled in their chairs unsure of what to say to their seniors while Hima was being her usual bubbly self. They were kind of surprised since she never really talked about any member other than her brother and they were under the impression that she was simply acquainted with the others. Her, Jimin, Seonghwa and Yeosang even went shopping together at some point (FYI him, J-Hope and Taehyung have gotten in trouble with gossip columns because they spoil her too much and 'reporters' thought that they were buying clothes for their girlfriends...no it's just their friend's sister who they were told not to coddle too much even tho her own brother would buy her a whole country. When fans asked about these incidents - at different times - they just ended up sending pictures of Hima in the clothes on Weverse)

• Hima actually made three appearances on the show; J-Hope brought her along during episode 12, Taemin insisted she come with him in episode 20 (since she was the main producer of 'Guilty') and episode 28 was to promote Golden Hour. The siblings talked about a few memories; playing basketball together, her visiting his studio when BTS had just made their debut, the first time she came to one of their concerts, etc. They did several dance challenges together, sang a few songs (by 'a few' I mean almost 20 minute worth that the editors had to strategically cut), talked about their respective long term injuries briefly, discussed the production process of the album, and Hima fell asleep on camera after one too many drinks

• A few days after his service ended she went to get something from her brother's studio and they accidentally ran into each other, which led to a very long scolding about how it was rude that she didn't come to see him earlier. They didn't get to spend much time together due to the comeback schedules followed by their North America tour, but he secretly came to one of their fansigns (he came backstage to not draw attention to himself). On Chuseok she came to his house with homemade food, giving both a chance to reconnect with each other after a long time apart. He knows she's been busy lately with personal projects, group schedules and the filming of 'Road to Kingdom' so he hasn't asked her to be in 'Run Jin' yet because she would likely accept even if it meant overexerting herself

(For relationship references she's best friends with Jungkook, slightly more distant from Taehyung since the age difference makes it a little hard to connect (but they still love each other), very close to Jimin because of their personalities, RM and her tend to connect over books that he recommends and go to bookstores together often, J-Hope is almost an older brother to her and Jin is more like an uncle)

Don't worry I'll keep taking good care of myself and you do as well okay ?? No scolding necessary here 🤧Love you Mina, as always thank you so much for your questions!! ❤️

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, am really really interested to read your thoughts on Seven!

*

Ask 2: Hey bpp, can i be honest?? Ive been checked out of the fandom but still keep track of any music releases. So i didnt know abt any rumors abt 7. Imagine me being kind of disappointed that it’s another english song from jk when i watched the mv😅 it feels like his most promoted songs since last year has been all eng song… idk i wanted & expted something diff… i didnt like l&r, dreamers and now 7… it’s back to back lol. Tbf i didnt like My You too and thats in korean. At least not enough to listen!again after the first listen.

Im happy that still with you is finally on spotify tho. I’ll still be waiting excited for his album whenever it comes out. Hopefully ill find something i like in it!!

**

[BPP Note: Both asks above were sent before my "I don't like it..." post. The asks posted below were sent afterwards.]

**

Ask 3:

Same here

All the hype didn't matched with the song

1. rest members songs had so much depth and substance to it while this was the cliche boy chasing a girl song. Like we always dont need deep songs but the quality could be so much better. This was like just another pop song.

I think I'll put this on same level as BAD DECISIONS. But for bad decisions, atleast the chorus was staying on my mind while for this nothing was catchy enough for us to humm. Just because it's JK it will get hype but otherwise it's so generic. I think I liked LEFT and RIGHT way better than Seven. Even the rap portion felt so unnecessary and boring.

2. MV was kinda nice because of the production but concept was too shallow, the stalking and chasing was so outdated. In my country we have like 9293928843837 MVs in this same concept that not many make the same theme songs again.

3. The choreography. We haven't seen the full version. But for tiktok they do the highlight portions if that's so mediocre idk how rest will be. It was again giving the same mediocre showing off choreography and for me backdancers ruined it with their awkward moves.

4. they wanted this song to be played everywhere around the world. But there was nothing catchy enough to attract gp or go viral on tiktok, even if we sped it up. The only way to make everyone listen is to shove it down their throat but doing payola. But idk if investing in payola is worthy for the song. I also doubt the longietivity, as for me it was boring after 2 listens. I'll rather listen Like Crazy or wildflower or closer 20 times than listening this once.

5. I HOPE he'll bring something fresh to the table for his album and don't involve this mediocre producers who uses the same formula and same superstar persona to make a song successful. He is so much talented to sing a song which is so rich in melody and lyrics. And he can produce way better songs by himself.

Prolly a 4/10 for me

*

Ask 4: troye sivan's rush (which also came out last night) is exactly what I wish Seven was. I don't mean that in a 'I expect the things JK to make to be gay' way just in the way it's a fun, very danceable, sexy summer song that doesn't pull its punches. Something about seven feels too run through a commercial sanitizer a few times, even with the explicit lyrics.

***

Hi Anon(s),

Jungkook likes to fuck.

Rather, Andrew Watt likes to fuck and thinks Jungkook can relate.

JK has been talking about wanting to show more mature and explicit sides of himself for a good long while now. So I’m glad he’s finally gotten to do that, confirming for us why he keeps getting noise complaints from his neighbours since the mattresses all over his apartment don't help.

BTS has made songs explicitly referring to sex before (though it's been mostly the rapline doing so). So it's nothing new but I guess it's cool JK gets to share with us that he too has sex.

The question I posed to my friends immediately after watching the MV is, “Do you know who's been doing A&R for BigHit since 2020? I really need to know who is doing A&R for BigHit in America because they’ve been doing an appalling job lately. I'm starting to wonder if it's an inside job cause this song is kinda ass.”

That was me ~11 hours ago.

I didn’t like the song.

I’ve streamed Seven about 20 times since then I think, took a break from the song for a few hours, watched his GMA performance, caught a few minutes of the Wlive, then listened to it again just before writing this post and…

I still don’t like it.

Jungkook did a good job on the song, Latto's verse wasn't terrible, and while the song itself isn’t bad… the song isn’t good either.

It’s painfully, and at this point it’s a pattern so I have to add, predictably, mediocre.

Reserving judgement for the album, but Anons, I agree with you for the most part. The suits at BigHit are trying but they are woefully out of touch with the reasons BTS blew up in the West in the first place. I don't even feel like spending any energy doing a review or even trying to explain what I mean. So I'll just ramble on for a bit but try to keep it brief.

---

I have to give BigHit some credit because I can see what they're going for here. Andrew Watt is a very celebrated producer in the US, he won the Grammy award for Producer of the Year in 2021, he's got A listers in his portfolio. So, he's not a cheap name to book and I can see why the suits at BigHit thought he's the genius to gift them a song clinically designed for American radio.

But that pandejo phoned it in. There isn't a lick of creativity to be found anywhere in all 3 minutes and five seconds.

It reminds me of VIBE by Jimin and Taeyang, as the closest analog to the vague dissatisfaction morphing into annoyance and then pragmatic rationalization I experienced in that same sequence when listening to it the first few times.

The song is disappointing because we've all heard it before. Too many times, and we're bored of it. We've heard JK sing this sort of song for years, as covers mostly. So on one hand, while I guess it's nice JK gets to have an American summer JB-reject pop tune of his own, it's not good enough to be the track that introduces him to the world as a solo artist.

It's fine for any white, blonde, blue-eyed heartthrob that can ride on a pretty face and implicit bias to rack up accolades, it's not good enough for Jungkook.

And BigHit needs to start using whatever leverage a US$10.6 billion market capitalization buys you in Hollywood, to insist for songs that are at least as good as the songs made by BTS members and produced by their in-house team. It's a waste of money and everybody's time to fly a battalion to LA just to record 2014's summer hit in 2023.

In my opinion.

Still With You > Stay Alive > My Time > Stay > Left & Right > My You > Dreamers > Seven

*

All that said, I can't ignore JK has a taste for songs like this, and it's not his fault the song is shit (he didn't write, compose or produce it), so technically he shouldn't be punished for it. And the song is made for radio, while it's not my personal taste a lot of people really like the song (one of my friends likes Seven the most out of all the BTS releases so far), and it will catch on with some support. So, ARMY will support it including me, just to a lesser degree than I've done so far. Fingers crossed JJK1 has something solid on it.

[i-only-want-endless-happiness]

Since Riordan attended the Eras Tour let's talk about pjo swiftie characters (according to me ofc)

Annabeth= you can't convince she isn't a swiftie i know she is, but not many people know cause she thinks it's lowkey embarassing to be into Taylor, but she's totally a Speak now, 1989 stan she was screaming "Better than revenge" every day and every night when Rachel was into the picture, also she totally made Percy listen to "You are in love" cause it reminds her of them. Also also "New Romantics" is her anthem. She also loves "This is why we can't have nice things" cause it remindes her of Luke. I could actually go on forever but i'm gonna stop here now

Piper = duh of course she is, she is a Lover and Red girly, confused, romantic, hopeful in true love even after being hurt, she's on the "Paper Rings", "Me", "Lover" the song, "The Man" "I think he knows" ecc side of Lover and on the "The moment i knew", "Begin again", "Everything has changed", "The lucky one" "Stay,stay,stay" side of Red

Frank= i know in my heart, soul and mind he's a swiftie too, he actually takes Hazel to Taylor's concerts and randomly sends her Taylor's songs that reminds him of Hazel, he's the kind of guy who proposes during "Love story" cause lowkey is an hopless romantic. He was screaming crying every liryc of "You belong with me" at night in the Argo II when he thought Leo had a thing for Hazel. He gifted Midnights to Hazel cause the album is so her according to him. To me he is a Speak now girlie

Will= he's one of the biggest swifties at chb, there's literally nothing you can say to convince me otherwise. He's into her country albums more but actually lover all of her music, Taylor is his comfort singer (besides his mom of course) he's a Fearless girly and listens to "Fearless" the song, during long operations cause it helps him, "Hey Stephen" makes him think of Nico as well as "New year's day" cause he's a simp and "Dancing with our hands tied" cause that's literally his pov in Tartarus,idc, and of course "The best day" makes him think of his mom. "Change" and "Jump then fall" are some of his favorite Taylor's songs ever. I know my boy cries to "Mirrorball" and "This is me trying". You can't tell me he didn't sing "Our song" to Nico at least once

Percy,Hazel and Nico are Taylor enthusiasts, not quite fans but their s.o introduced them to her so now they appreciate Taylor too

Percy= he's a 1989 girlie, he loves "Welcome to New York" and thinks "Bad blood" is one of her best songs ever. After Annabeth made him listen to "YAIL" he fell in love wih it and it's now their song, he screams to "Haunted" when he feels disappointed by his father or by the Gods in general. He loves "The great war" too cause it reminds him of Annabeth as well as "Mine". And he loves "Long live" cause it just fits him and his story

Hazel= she's into Midnights (not only cause Frank gifted it to her, even tho that definetly made the album gain some extra points) "Bejeweled" and "Karma" are some of her favorite songs of the whole album but she cried the first time she listened to "You're on your own kid" so it has a special place on her heart. She dedicated "Lavander Haze" and "Sweet nothings" to Frank and it made him a bit emotional. Also she loves "Paris" cause she has taste. She absolutely adores "The outside" and the Debut album in general

Nico= i know what you're thinking hes a Reputation supporter but i actually see him more as a Folklore/Evermore girlie and a Lover one too, unlike Piper he's more on "The archer", "Cruel summer", "It's nice to have a friend" and "Soon you'll get better" side of Lover cause u know my boy is a little bit of a mess, and of course he loves "Daylight", "Cornelia street" (actually this song is his religion we know he has low self esteem) and "Aterglow" cause they make him think of Will. He thinks "No body, no crime" is probably Taylor best dark bop and obviously he loves "Gold rush" but i think he relates it back to his old crush on Percy, "Evermore" the song, is one of his favorite on the whole album, as well as "Long story short". I know Nico secretely cries to "Tolerate it". He dedicated "Invisible string" to Will (actually if you read TSATS without being a fucking hater, you'll know this is lowkey, very lowkey tho, canon) he loves "Peace" and "The Lakes" cause he relates to them deeply. I still think he loves Rep too like "Look what you made me do" it's totally his jam "I did something bad" is his go to song when he wants to be in a good mood and of course "Gorgeous"and "Delicate" cause he's secretely a romantic and down bad for his boyfriend.

If you don't know Taylor this won't make sense but if you have time and want new music give those songs a go, cause they're really good trust me u will not regret it

Just few lyrics to some of the songs to let u know what i'm talking about

BETTER THAN REVENGE= The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and, I had it all I had him right there where I wanted him she came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause she took him faster than you could say sabotage

YAIL= One night he wakes strange look on his face pauses, then says you're my best friend and you knew what it was he is in love

NEW ROMANTICS= We're so young but we're on the road to ruin we play dumb but we know exactly what we're doing we cry tears of mascara in the bathroom honey, life is just a classroom

TIWWCHNT= It was so nice being friends again there I was giving you a second chance but you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand

THE MAN= I'm so sick of running as fast as I can wondering if I'd get there quicker if I was a man and I'm so sick of them coming at me again cause if I was a man then I'd be the man

TLO= And they tell you that you're lucky, but you're so confused cause you don't feel pretty, you just feel used

YBWM= I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night i'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry and I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams think I know where you belong think I know it's with me

FEARLESS= And I don't know how it gets better than this you take my hand and drag me head first fearless and I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress

HEY STEPHEN= Hey Stephen, i know looks can be deceiving but i know i saw a light in you [...] cause i can't help it if you look like an angel can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so come feel this magic i've been feeling since I met you

DWOHT= I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us so, baby, can we dance through an avalanche? And say, say that we got it i'm a mess, but i'm the mess that you wanted

MIRRORBALL= I'm still a believer but I don't know why i've never been a natural all I do is try, try, try

TIMT= They told me all of my cages were mental so I got wasted like all my potential and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad i have a lot of regrets about that i was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here

Bad Blood= Now we got problems and I don't think we can solve 'em you made a really deep cut and baby, now we got bad blood

TGW= We can plant a memory garden say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair there's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair and we will never go back to that bloodshed, crimson clover the worst was over my hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War

BEJEWELED= Best believe I'm still bejeweled when I walk in the room i can still make the whole place shimmer

KARMA= Ask me what I learned from all those years ask me what I earned from all those tears ask me why so many fade, but I'm still here

YOYOK= Everything you lose is a step you take so make the friendship bracelets take the moment and taste it you've got no reason to be afraid you're on your own, kid yeah, you can face this you're on your own, kid you always have been

THE OUTSIDE= I've been a lot of lonely places i've never been on the outside

THE ARCHER= Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? Dark side, I search for your dark side but what if I'm alright, right, right, right here? And I cut off my nose just to spite my face then I hate my reflection for years and years

CORNELIA STREET= And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends id never walk Cornelia Street again that's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

AFTERGLOW= I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue put you in jail for something you didn't do i pinned your hands behind your back, thought I had reason to attack, but no [...] Sorry that I hurt you i don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you i don't wanna lose, i don't wanna lose this with you

TOLERATE IT= I wait by the door like I'm just a kid use my best colors for your portrait lay the table with the fancy shit and watch you tolerate it if it's all in my head tell me now tell me I've got it wrong somehow i know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it

INVISIBLE STRING= Time, mystical time cutting me open, then healing me fine were there clues I didn't see? And isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me

PEACE= All these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret the devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

LWYMMD= But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time i got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined

[seokjinsonlyone]

most to least likely to end up with someone black

hoseok: idk i just get this feeling this vibe likeeeee it just make sense i see it like the way he carry himself like just look at the chicken noodle soup mv and tell me u can't see it and he literally has a song with j cole and if he in there with coleworld he is def in there wit da fam and then we got the whole time he had tinashe as his lockscreen and we all seen the my universe video like he took ole alien girl home idc idc and overall he just reminds me of my grandma so it make sense

jimin: no limit babe like i've seen this man bark at the thought of usher; and in general this year especially including his album jimin has just really been existing in spaces i didn't expect him to see and i am more than pleasantly surprised. like originally when i first made this he was near the bottom idk why bc he's literally performed to take you down but yeah he def up there now. like y'all remember that photo of him wit da choir for set me free SPEAKING OF SET ME FREE F YA OPPS?1!!1 HENNESSY AT NIGHT⁉️ LIKE IF BLACK PEOPLE HAD A REPRESENTATIVE BRAND OF LIQUOR IT WOULD BE HENNESSY LIKE COME ON and then just his personality is soooo i can't explain why he's all the way up here in this list properly but source: trust me bro

joon: listen we all know that joon be looking and be listening like he has a song with erykah badu with wale with anderson paak he be listening to musiq soulchild he is just made for a black woman (me) but he is a little further down on the list than i expected to put him only bc joon is just so korean and he loves korea and being korean that he might wanna keep it the country idk he definitely down for it tho we know he be looking and frfr this is just insurance for myself so if it don't happen i won't feel publicly played bc i called it but just know imma be somewhere on a ledge with my head in my hands wondering if i should do it or not okay kskslsk

yoon: u know i originally had yoongi near the bottom of the list solely bc he was a workaholic homebody and i was like he is not ending up with nobody much less somebody black if he spent all his time in his studio but now he in his social traveling era and i'm just like 🧐 bc clearly he has the ability to uphold foreign relationships (i.e. max, halsey...) and then i think about how he had all black backup dancers for his tonight show performance like i mean i'm not sure how much say they have in that kind of thing but it felt real deliberate to me and then there's the fact that yoongi just has the ability to look comfortable like he fit in anywhere like i'm thinking of that one photo where he was with one of juicewrld's producers and made homeboy look like he was the outsider in his own studio and then on tour it's clear that he got that dawg in him like he can handle his own he can handle ME which is crazy bc i be looking at men and knowing i'm way out of their depth but i'm telling you yoongi had the power to make me not look at jimin which is an insane ability so I'M JS idk if he would but he fo sho could if he wanted he got that lil poker face going so i'm not extremely confident but i can see it

jungkook: i’m not gon mention the fact that he said he liked girls with healthy sun kissed skin after that trip to la on american hustle life imma just leave that out i’ll also leave out normani at the bbmas what i will talk about is them meeting ms megan now ik jk claiming he ain’t shy no more but he still don’t be saying much except for when he met ms megan homeboy was showing up and showing out dancing talking teaching the choreo cackling for no reason man was grinning from ear to ear whole time nose got the workout of a lifetime from being continuously scrunched ALSO i mention this at least once a week but that r&b playlist he had going while he was folding his underwear???? my naega my naega u ain't listening to bryson tiller unless u is down for the cause but all this to say that it's really up in the air with him like as much as he could there is equal chance that he could not like he just got that pop propensity that sways him to the dark side but i could also see him ending up with someone east asian just as well which is fine with me or at least as fine as i can be knowing he's not with me

jin: as he is a permanent member of my bias line it really do hurt me a small amount that he is at the bottom of this list but i know my man 💅 i know mr “you can’t stop me i’m beyoncé” wouldn’t care about the racial difference at all like as long as y'all could communicate it's good in the hood and he is literally built like a black auntie like he would do so well at family functions rizzing up everybody from yo parents to yo grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins he would fit so well but like can i see it happening in reality??? idk idk he is the most unpredictable man i've ever come across so i can't say nun definitively

tae: there's a lot of reasons why he could why he should like idk man i can just see it in his eyes and then there’s like how much he loves old school soul music and his reaction to h.e.r. at the award show that shall not be named and like how he was meeting john legend and i’m also thinking about how social he is and how he likes to befriend everyone like the potential is there it's right there mind u i'm ignoring the current state of affairs but considering how enamored he is with europe like literally dressed up as a nobleman or whatever for his photobook and when he went to that old people jazz lounge and he is really into golf y'all i just don't see it fr but ya know anything's possible

[oneskynground]

Do You Think About Me Too?

Despite her successful life and career, camille continues to dwell on the year she spent as an visual art director for a Korean singer.

Genre: EXO Baekhyun Fanfic, slice-of-life, angst (it's not that deep), idol-au

Written as: one shot

Authors note: ctto of the image above. Take in mind you're reading from a non-writer, okay? Give it a <3 or anything so I'd know if it's read?

Camille doesn't know what regret feels like. Despite how awful things could turnout she never found herself in regret of anything. It's always been a matter of holding-on. If you wait long enough, things will be for the better.

Want a trolley bag for middle school? Don't ask your mom, she'll never let it happen. Backpacks are way practical for your horrendous amount of books, according to her. Let your sister ask for it and as the youngest, you'll get hers, eventually.

Been wanting to have a birthday party or just a celebration since a kid? Let's wait till you can throw yourself one. Beacuse her parents realized how exhausting the planning is from her sisters birthday parties, god forbid they throw another one ever.

No one thought she was serious with persuing arts in college? Let alone, animation? Just keep pushing and pressing on dedication. She had to prove yourself to non-believers, be handed wounding words of love. But believe it or not, they'll gaveup trying to make her reconsider other programs. But hey! Look at her and the professional that she is working for big productions. Animating shows and films that are going places that even she could never visit.

Or not even when america was too much for her. Perhaps leaving the country for a job opportunity and thinking everything will turn out fine was ambitious for an animator of a year of experience in the field. Right form the start she knew it would be lonely, depressing, and dangerous. she's got scars to prove it. They've told her too. But after 3 years of living in denial of her own loneliness, Camille prevailed. Everything finally turned out fine (before she could breakdown).

She'd give anything not to return to a similar situation. Then the strike happened and there was no work. Fresh out of her masters, she couldn't stay in the picket lines as long as they needed. She had to find a job. Any job.

Minhyuk came in saving. He was her supervisor-work friend in the production studio. Minhyuk had refered her to a job.

" What are you worried about? This is what your masters in media and communication are for, right? so you'd finally level up to director's role. Well this is it! They want an interview with you to be their art director!"

Before he told her anything about the referral, hed already shared Camille's public portfolio. Even a certain whirl-of-the-moment project of hers: a redesign of an album with mock-ups that landed the interview.

This was an opportunity for her! To finally become the art director shes always wanted (tho not for animation) either way. She can see how this can pave the way for it. But the problem was the work was in South Korea.

She'd give anything not to return to a similar situation—when she moved to america. When she moved to a country alone, without knowing anyone.

But she's done it once, so how hard could it be right? And given the situation begars can't be choosers. This is an opportunity falling in her lap.

And things are different! This time she's moving to an Asian country, so things couldn't be so different from home? Who knows things could be easier for the second time around.

Camille doesn't know what regret feels like. Until she came to South Korea for work.

Until she came there and met her employer, the CEO. Minhyuk and Camille haven't been talking to the same person. Minhyuk's friend was the CEO of the company Red Signiture. Whom he met during their military enlistment in South Korea. On the other hand the person who interviewed Camille via video conference was his secretary. Former manager, as a matter of fact

Because the CEO that's been looking for an in-house art director, who is friends with Minhyuk and couldn't hire anyone local beacuse of his status as a "start-up" was Baekhyun.

Baekhyun of Camille's favorite k-pop group, since highschool, EXO.

Camille doesn't know what regret feels like, So does Baekhyun. Despite how awful things could turn out he never found himself in regret of anything. It's always been a matter of holding-on. If you wait long enough, things will be for the better.

Until her.

"Two years later, youre still on my mind."

[plegdoctor]

Hello and welcome to me asking the important questions:

Would the US ghosts like Taylor Swift?

Here are my thoughts:

Hetty - MY EVERMORE GIRLY she would’ve loved making hours long playlists and listening to them whilst staring

Stephanie - into Taylor Swift bc it’s popular? Like she LOVES you belong with me and we are never getting back together. She also scream sings Better than Revenge (misogyny version) in her room when she finds out about Hetty and Trevor

Flower - not really her vibe but she wouldn’t skip per se

Isaac - I just know he cries to folklore

Trevor - inexplicably loves her? Number 1 Taylor Swift fan, has somehow attended every single date on the eras tour.

Pete - only knows shake it off and bad blood

Sasappis - really likes folklore and evermore bc of the storytelling but appreciates the lyrical talents of the pop and country albums as well!

Alberta - fan of False God but doesn’t really think the rest is her vibe. Loves it when Taylor belts tho (sometimes she’ll listen with Hetty)

Thorfinn - suspects that she is Danish. Will not listen.

Sam - ofc, she’s a 1989 and lover girly!!

[ask-serendipity-sky]

The cult needs to STFU. Even if Jikook aren't dating, he has shown up more for Jk, then anyone lately. Who went to be with Jk during his single release in NY & Silver Day? Jimin. Who didn't? Who was first to post about Jk's BB 100? Jimin. Who didn't? Who was first to congratulate Jk on his bday? Jimin. Who didn't? Who came live to tell us to keep wishing for Jk's birthday? Jimin. Who didn't? Who was with JK on White Day in 2022? Jimin. Who wasn't? Who visited JK in his comments on White Day live 2023 when JK was alone, even tho he himself was out of the country and busy & when others were actually in Korea and didn't see JK? Oh that's right, Jimin. You know the live where JK was lonely, sad, crying, bringing up GCF Tokyo trip, playing There for You, spoiling all of Jimin's songs, even playing JVKE, knowing it was about to be released Jimin was working with him. Spoiling Set Me Free part 2 and then eventually told us to look forward to it. It was Jimin again and again and again. Where was Tae during all this? Since they want to always drag Tae into Jikook's business. Where was Tae last year on JK's bday? So Tae flew 14 hours from Washington to go straight to his friends premiere off the plane, but couldn't go see JK on his bday, after a 14 hour flight, his married partner he shares two adopted kids with? I guess between spending time with JN his GF in NY (since she was there when Tae was) and that 14 hour flight home, he just didn't have any more energy to go his husband. Where was Tae during JK's 2020 birthday? Oh yeah, at home asking Jimin to come sleep with him instead. Tae loves JK okay. You don't have to tell us. We know they do, but they aren't fucking and they aren't dating. They are friends. And honestly, if I were you, I'd just shut my fucking mouth about Jikook, because if this really was a dick measuring contest, which Taekookers try to make it out to be on which duo is more gay and has more potential to be real, sorry, but Taekook are coming in last. Vmin have a more real chance of being real over Taekook, considering Tae actually writes songs about Jimin and said he likes him the most. Clowns. All of them. So, no amount of TK Premiere appearances or bowling with friends, will ever change the fact that Tae just went public with JN in Paris, holding her hand, after nearly 2 years of dating proofs of them were leaked. Don't ever fucking speak on Jimin or Jikook again. Not while one half of your ship is in a now made public relationship, done on purpose by both Tae and JN. Losers. You got bigger things to worry about, then Jikook.

Oh and get your damn lies straight while you're at it. JK didn't hear Tae's album first. JK never once said this. Stop making up shit. He said he heard it. It was Jimin in 2022 Festa who said he and Tae had a listening party TOGETHER and Tae played him all his songs first. So sorry cult, soulmate is the one who actually heard his album first, confirmed by Vmin. It was Jimin and Tae agreed. But guess what else. Tae was with JN like 3 days after that Festa Dinner filmed, so he probably played them all for her too, while they were caught by a local in the car together on their Jeju date. Better luck next time losers.

Hi anon,

Agree with everything!

Tkkrs should be the last people celebrating anything right now.

Their ship never sailed to begin with.

The interactions between Tae and Jk have always been because they are friends. There is nothing else other than a friendship bond.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[metyouattherighttime]

review for short n sweet (first listen)!!

1- taste

hello im excited for jenna ortega in the mv and the song i couldnt hear cause i was brushing my teeth all i got was youll have to taste me when hes kissing you (will listen again) ok here i am again. 5 feet to be exact!!!! i feel the beginning is similar to fortnight like the slow start to build up is there a formula to album starters or something. or maybe its a formula for normal songwriting idk. but i like it!

2- please x3

absolute bop obvi

3- good graces

i wont give a fuck about you!! the song is a bop but uhm it wont stick in my mind omg this review in its entirety is so bad idk what im listening to the first time round. kinda repetitive ngl

4- sharpest tool

ok this is good. phone face down!! (me always)

5- coincidence

kinda country vibe w the acoustic guitar!!! and the background singers!! (youve lost all common sense, the whispers r everything) the bridge ate

ok wtf an ad 🙄

7- bed chem

ok my claimed track!!! manifest!!!!!! oooohhhh ok yes the weird intonation thing will absolutely stick in my head at some point LOL where art thou?? did she say that. or am i crazy idk anything without lyrics.. is she saying romeo in the background i have no idea. BOP

8- espresso

thats that me espresso ☕️ also track 8 is lowkey surprising cause why is it not like track 3 is jt because its eight letters

9- dumb & poetic

slowish song! i think the slow songs are where her voice rly stands out. wait there was like no beat drop or whatever did i miss it no right what its ok

CAN I JUST SAY WHY R THE SONGS ALL SO SHORT 😭😭😭😭

10- slim pickins

ooo another slowish somg! and guitar picking!! wait maybe a banjo actually. its giving eyes wide open vibes with grown up lyrics yk??? ok maybe ukulele too??? idk but strings are involved

11- juno

MY OTHER CLAIMED!! its so pop omg wait the beat is so fun. ooooo okok YES the ow! is yes!!! wait no i love this song shut up. its so like adorable but also idk because sabrina lyrics but ugh no the beat is cute. it reminds me of a song i heard in the car but idk what it is i think something by coldplay.. and like the fall in love part i feel like could be part of a kpop song?? yk??? i wonder why she chose juno and not hera is juno short?? no shes a god

12- lie to girls

this is a very sabrina style song like do you get me. ok the bridge is def gonna be so fun to sing!! i think im gonna have a hard time memorising the lyrics cause it repeats a lot of the same ohrases tho 😭 i like the outro ok maybe im just a sucker for guitar

13- dont smile

last track!!! ok synth. dr seuss but opposite LOL wait is it dr seuss quote i forgot like dont cry cause its over smile because it happened..??? OK BUT WHY IS THIS TJE LAST TRACK DOES SHE WANT ME TO CRY if u dont wanna cry to my music dont make me hate u prolifically ig

anyways last remarks from me. juno is my fave. espresso and please x3 are still bops and i also like slim pickins but bed chem may be inappropriate to sing in front of my parents i wont lie.. i liked sharpest tool tooand coincidence

ok yk what the ones that didnt hit for me this first listen are good graces, dumb & poetic, and dont smile

thanks bye let me know ur thoughts 😚😚😚💛💛💛💛

i hav to listen again to rly feel it so uhm take this review w a grain of salt because it will not be accurate to how i feel after a few lessons ok!!!!

[penguicorns-are-cool]

Hi so i saw you posted about finding a lot of queer country artists and was wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing? I am hunting for specifically sapphic country beyond Tracy Chapman, Brandy Clarke and Brandi Carlisle and *squinting at Taylor Swifts discography until it looks suitably sapphic* but honestly I'll take anything even if it's not saphhic

Also scrolled through your thoughts on the last season of umbrella academy absolutely agree on Klaus (I haven't finished the season yet tho!!)

Tysm in advance

of course,

It's hard to list off top of my head but my big recommendations are Katie Pruitt , Amethyst Kiah, and Lavender Country

Katie Pruitt is slow and calm and all sapphic, Amethyst Kiah is like blues and folk on top of the country, and Lavender Country is a bit more what you think when you think country and also the first out, queer, country band to record an album

Other than them

Wic Whitney - gay and country and so so so good omg

Emma Jayne - more folk than country but very sapphic

Bela Fleck and the Flekstones - not queer just good music, they're technically a jazz band but if you like country you'll like them cause they bring bluegrass into it

also if you go into the queer country tag here on tumblr you'll find a bunch of good artists

also I literally just now finished umbrella academy and omg

[thedissociatives]

19, 28, 33, 35, 42 for the music ask (^_^)

omg sorry for leaving this so long i've been really busy 😭😭

19 - a song or album from the 00s

waterloo to anywhere has been The Album for me recently i looked at my last.fm report for last month this morning and it was my top album by a long shot lmao

28 - have you ever made/got a mixtape as a gift to/from a friend

i've never made a mixtape or been given one but ig that's because ppl don't really do that anymore 😭 i have had a few playlists made for me over the years though and i still remember them all years later (i've lost almost all of them over time tho which is a bit sad)

33 - your favourite artist from your city/state/country

the libertines have vvv quickly become my favs from over here but if i had to pick someone a bit closer to home.... muse. when i found out they were from down this way i actually couldn't believe it lmao 12 year old me didn't think anyone that cool could be from the west country lmao

35 - a song you like in a language you don't speak

got really into like. russian techno nd shit a few years back so this is v much a throwback to then but tri poloski. i had my mates in bristol onto it as well we were sat in the city centre blasting that shit i wonder what people thought walking past 💀

42 - your favourite(s) "no skips" albums

i'm really into listening to albums in full so all of the ones i like are "no skip" albums to me. so i'll just list some current favs that are 100% no skips imo: internationalist - powderfinger, all quiet on the eastern esplanade - the libertines, waterloo to anywhere - dirty pretty things, diorama - silverchair

[ten-ge]

sorry for my stupid questions but wayv is so complex so i want to ask some questions

i thought wayv is a cpop group why are they in the korea i always think they are so china focused but i think im wrong why there's no subtitles for their bside songs on youtube i want to see lyrics why lucas left why others don't promote in china like winwin is ten thai or chinese what's labelv write on their logos and is it ok to feel disconnected to 2 members if you are not a hater

i finished their first album i like it i will tell my opinions when i finish their discography

don't be sorry!! i will try to answer all of your questions. (if i got something wrong anyone who reads this can pls correct me!!)

wayv lives in korea because they are under sm which is a korean company, they only go to china during promotions. i'd say they are more a global group, although most of their tracks are in chinese the title tracks usually have an english version too. i think their main focus used to be promoting in china. the last comeback give me that was promoted in korea though (might be bc of the change of management, trying to gain a bit more popularity, etc)

some tracks have lyrics videos on youtube with both chinese and english lyrics (the famous color coded lyrics videos) idk if all songs have tho

lucas was involved in a scandal that exposed him having multiple girlfriends at the same time, cheating, manipulating them into buying him expensive things, and some worse stuff. tho there are many different versions of what really happened and what the accusation really are and i am sure everyone has different opinions about this depending on what they heard/read about it

winwin is in china for his solo work which is acting, modeling, etc. not music. the others are mostly promoting as a group. when they do solo work they focus on the countries and regions they are most popular in (i.e. ten in southeast asia)

ten was born and raised in thailand but his family is thai-chinese. his nationality is thai but his ethnicity is chinese

what do you mean with the labelv question?

in my personal opinion i think it's okay and from my experience normal and common to not feel connected to every member the same. as long as you're not hateful to the members you don't feel as connected to, you're fine. don't worry :)