#the third i got rejected on was only because i didn't understand how they would label “erm” bc the options were 'eh' or 'uh'

[yessu]

honestly I'd love to get paid to transcribe podcasts/fix auto subtitles and stuff like that but my understanding of grammar apparently isn't enough to apply to any companies that'd accept freelancers because they have hyperspecific style guidelines o|-< please. i Like checking things for accuracy and copying things down. i would love to make a money doing it.

[kairiscorner]

the poll has spoken.

miggy and his feelings for you. (when he catches you smiling because of someone else)

summary: what's the next step after telling someone you like them? usually, stuff like that ends in rejection–but... you didn't reject miguel when he finally expressed how he felt for you. what's next after this? he can only handle his need to love you and declare that you're his and he's yours so much before he... before he breaks.

pairing: miguel o'hara x gn!reader

genre: a bit of angst and fluff 🫂🫂🫂

word count:

a/n: i'm writing this on the date of my blog's second monthsary, HEHE, this is kind of a belated monthsary gift (or early third monthsary gift~~~) for my miguel babes out there, y'all know who you are 🤩 anyway, hope you guys enjoy !!

the rapid palpitations of his heartbeat could still be felt in every fiber of his bones, of his muscles, as he reminisced that moment when he mustered up all the courage he had and breathed out those three, four words he's been dying to utter to you, for you to hear, listen, and sink in your heart as he tells you in such a soft, sentimental tone that he can't help but let out.

"estoy enamorado de ti."

"i'm in love with you, i love you."

he has never been able to recover from the shocks and tingles sent up his spine and tickling the back of his brain every time silence settles in and consumes him. the silence is a perfect, beautiful torment for miguel; because it is the silence that reminds him of how you held him dearly, teased him for his "dramatic", "extra" showcases of affection towards you, and that he remembers every bit of how he feels around you, the love of his life. you've always seen him as a very close friend–like an annoying, overprotective brother at times in the past–but those feelings have thus shifted; and is miguel ever so grateful for that happening.

he's been so scared and lost–like a child who's afraid of the dark wandering in a pitch black room, calling out for help–he was always unsure of what to do with these secret feelings he harbored for you. he thought it'd be better to bury them, to never let you know and take that secret of his to the grave; but he knew he would forever regret that. sometimes, wanting to love and wanting to protect the one you love are two very conflicting ideas–thet don't always end in mutual agreements. and ever since you declared that you reciprocated his feelings and loved him back through your actions and words... he has never felt an even greater need to love and protect you.

miguel's got a new role in your life now, to be the man who will protect and take care of you, ensure you don't go a single day without feeling loved, that you live every day, every hour of your life being as you are–happy and comfortable with yourself, hopefully with the addition of him in the picture. miguel trusts you among everyone else in his whole life–you are the only friend he has that's stuck with him this whole time and still puts up with him, despite his hard-headedness, and does the unthinkable: love him the same way he loves you. he couldn't ask for any more, really, when everything he's ever wanted in life had been granted in the brief moment you two shared when he swore to you he'd work on being such a pain in the ass for you and not be a selfish prick.

he's spent every waking hour searching for you, wanting to hold you close to him in private and smother you with all the love and affection in the multiverse. you have to understand, now, that miguel has never felt this compelled to be with anyone before in his entire life–this is his first time wanting someone with such devotion and affection behind that desire, it's a desire with depth, with genuine emotions; and it sometimes terrifies him. he doesn't know what to do with these feelings, save for acting accordingly to what they compel him to do, so long as it is within bounds of what you want and what you're okay with. however, there are times that those feelings of his get... a bit out of hand, may come off as a bit too strong. there are some things that his feelings compel him to do without him even being able to think of the consequences until it already happened and the damages have already been done.

he feels his heart get pierced by a sharp dagger, he feels like he's getting light-headed as he watches from the monitor on his screen that beautiful, all-too familiar face that he never wants to wake up without seeing as the first person to greet him in the morning, giggle and look so close in proximity with this... random person. miguel swears he's never seen this person before, this person's not a friend of yours he knows about, nor a relative, he can tell that much–they're someone he doesn't know about; a total enigma.

and that scares miguel, because he has no idea just how happy this person makes you.

he feels a twinge of venomous envy strike at his heart, and he feels his pulse quicken a bit when he witnesses the corners of your pretty lips curve up into a smile after that person told you a funny joke, said a nice thing to you today, or... maybe... no way, you wouldn't fall for their flirting, would you? miguel asks lyla to run a background check on the person close to you, and lyla reassures miguel after doing so that this person wouldn't harm you–they were just a 'really close friend of yours'.

"and you're positively certain about that?" miguel asked her as his eyes remained glued on your delightful figure, smiling all the while as this person continued to make you all happy and a little brighter than you seemed before. he hated it. he hated it because some random person was doing his job for him, to make you the happiest you've ever been–but who was he to pry you away from your friends? he loved you and trusted your friends, that he knew of–but this person, he has no idea of who he is–and this frightens him because... he might actually lose you to them, he thinks.

"miguel, i've never heard you use those two words together in one sentence before. you're anxious about something, aren't you?" lyla asks miguel with a curious look on her face, prompting miguel to bare his fangs as he furrowed his eyebrows together and glared at the AI assistant. "just answer me." "alright, grouchy, yes–yes, i'm positively certain this person has no intention of hurting them." lyla replied as miguel placed his palm on his face and rubbed his eyes clean of the frustration he was experiencing right then and there, only for it to return on his face with a scorching heat filling his frame the longer he thought about you smiling around this person.

miguel turned the monitors off and decided to distract himself with some missions, though you never left that spot in his mind and heart once as he fought anomalies and tracked the statuses of other universes. his other teammates believed he was acting pretty strangely whenever he'd go out and fight the anomalies; he'd act more brutal and less cautious than he usually would, bringing the anomaly to the brink of death at one point until peter b and jess had to intervene and contained the anomaly for him.

miguel had to sit the next mission out, and so, he was holed up in his office again, begrudgingly so. "either you tell us what's going on, or you're not coming on anymore missions." "no, that's stupid, i will be going on the next o–" "you're posing as a threat to the anomalies, a lethal one, and that's not like you." jess berated miguel like a mother chiding her son for having a temper tantrum. miguel sighed and leaned his head against his hand, his elbow propped up on the control panel to support his head. jess sighed and peter b entered the room once things cooled down. "hey, so... what's his deal?" "no clue." jess replied to peter b with a shrug as miguel slumped over on his desk, sighing to himself repeatedly as thoughts of you refused to leave his mind.

you were like an endless memory miguel wanted to relive forever, and he never wanted you to leave his mind, actually–but he knew he'd go crazy without properly talking to you about this, but the thought of that alone was killing him right now. he felt so helpless and pathetic, he couldn't even talk to the love of his life about what he was so afraid of... and now, the others had to pick up after his scattered, broken pieces. "what if we have them talk to him?" "with him being in this state? yeah, no, not the best idea." "c'moooon, they're the end all, be all solution to his little slump. i know, because mj is–" "alright, alright, i get it; save your hopeless devotion for mary jane later. call them up now, we need to go on the mission, parker." jess told peter as he smiled and contacted you to come over to miguel's office right then and there, with the very important reminder that miguel was: 'in a terrible slump and needs some love and affection to be cured.'

after a few minutes, miguel heard the doors to his office slide open, and the clacking of a couple of familiar heels were heard; before you could even speak, miguel immediately knew it was you. call it creepy or weird if you want, but miguel can't help but memorize every detail of you, because it's the mere thought of you that keeps him going–but the thought of you... leaving him, that's enough to stop him from even wanting to go on. miguel spoke out your name in a gentle whisper, but afterward, he immediately shied away from you–hiding his face in his hands again as you approached him.

"mig, what's wrong?" you asked him, and the sound of your melodic voice filling his ears made him go mad with affection for you but also ridden with guilt all over again as he remembered just how angry he was at that person making you smile and... at you, for being happy with someone who wasn't even him. of course, that anger towards you fizzled out quickly, but he can't help but feel awful that he can't be fine with letting you be happy with someone who isn't even him. "...nothing's wrong." he lied in a soft grumble. you folded your arms over your chest and raised an eyebrow up at him. "right, well, you looking like a sad, droopy-eared dog while hunching your back and burying your face in your palms when i'm not looking is the definition of something being wrong." you pointed out, making miguel bury his face in his hands even more at how right you were. "what are you even doing here?" "peter called me." "that pendejo... well, why'd you agree to come anyway?" he asked you as he turned to look at you with softened eyes, eyes that appeared to be on the brink of sobbing.

you pulled up a chair and sat close to miguel, so close that your knees were touching his own–making him look up at you in surprise. "because you've been avoiding me all week." you remind him, and that very fact made miguel tense up. he gradually turned his head to look at you with an evidently pensive look on his face, which was rare for him since he didn't really show much emotion... except to you, his beloved partner. being his partner gave you the privilege to see all sides of him–the good and bad sides–whether he likes to or not; and having been together with miguel for a while and being his friend for the longest time, you could tell something was wrong. "i'm... sorry, i'm just..." miguel muttered under his breath with a sigh as he rubbed his eyes again with his hand. you gently took his other hand in your own and interlocked hands with him, making him jolt up and turn to look at you in surprise.

you sighed and ran the pad of your thumb over the back of his big hand, thinking of what to tell him as you just held on to him closer and tighter. "is it about my friend?" you asked him softly as miguel tensed up even worse again. miguel's lower lip trembled and he took in a deep breath. "...n-no, why would... well, o-okay, yes, it is. h-how'd you..." "you were always the jealous type, mig." you tell him with a grin as miguel looked down in shame, but you placed your other hand on the side of his face and lifted his head up a bit to look at him. "but, i know you're not like this to hurt them or me. you love me, right? well... i definitely love you, too, unconditionally." you tell him in a whisper as you bring your face closer to his own shy one. you could see the signs that he was getting more and more flustered and embarrassed. "mi vida, i... don't deserve you. who wants such a jealous, overbearing, overprotective guy as their lover? i-if i can't trust them with you, then... can i even trust myself to make you happy?" miguel rambled as he felt his breath getting ragged and his grip around your hand tighten.

you leaned over and kissed miguel's plush lips, effectively answering his question. "yes, miguel–you are trustworthy, you are worthy of having me." you reassured him. you pressed your lips against his again, making him moan gently through your kiss and mumbling your name. "cariño... i'm sorry, still... i'm just... just really jealous, and i... wanna make you the happiest person in the world." he muttered to you, sighing. you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close, patting his shoulder and shushing him. "you already do though... miggy, i want nobody but you, you and your sweet, jealous ass." you plant a kiss on the top of his head as you said that, making him even more heated up in the face and shy. "i can assure you, nothing bad's going on between us–they told me a few funny jokes that made me grin, but... i smile even wider when you're being all adorable like this with me. they're just a friend, and you're... the love of my life." you told him with a smile as miguel looked up at you, his hazel brown eyes gazing up at your own and concentrating on your pretty orbs.

"it's okay to be jealous, but... know that in every universe, i'll choose you and only you as my lover. you're perfect, miggy, you're all i want and need." and the minute you tell him all that... he feels his world slowly come together again, and his mood instantly lifting. he gently wrapped his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him, making him lowly sigh in relief. "and you already know i want and need you the most... no soporto estar sin ti amor... i can't live another day not being with you..." he murmured to you as an oath, an oath to not hurt you ever again, to not let his emotions overwhelm him and make you feel forgotten or guilty over something you didn't do, and... an oath to you that he loves you more than anything or anyone he's ever loved before.

he can't stop being jealous on instinct, he'll sometimes get insecure and anxious about himself, but... he loves you, that much, he knows; and you... you love him dearly, too. he just needs you to keep going and to keep feeling worthy and happy; you are enough for him, and he will always, always let you know that you are all he loves and cares about, in his own little and big ways and words–because... you love him like that, he makes you happy like that, and you couldn't ask for more.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce

[evalevaeva]

rival | yeon sieun

warning : death

Yeon Sieun wasn't just a schoolmate. You wouldn't have considered him a friend or someone you hate. The two of you acknowledged each others existence, knowing that the other person existed simply because of one piece of paper that was pasted on the signboard of Byuksan Middle School's notice board every few months.

"First : Yeon Sieun," That was what the board would read every month from the first year of school, but somehow by the third test of the fourth year, yeon sieun's name was not first.

"Did you hear? Yeon sieun got knocked off first place!" Students began gossiping as yeon sieun stood in front of the noticeboard, face blank, but his eyes showed anger.

To say he was angry would be an understatement. He aas furious, his heart pumped faster and he could hear ringing in his ears as he walked back to his seat, acting as he would on a normal day as the students in the class looked at him, muttering and whispering to each other.

"Congratulations! I can't believe you did so well for the mock exams! You'll definitely ace the exams by CSAT year!" The sound of female students congratulations caught Sieun's attention as he raised his head to look at the window in the corridor.

You were walking with four other female students, a large smile plastered onto your face as you shook your head at your friends' words, shy from their compliments.

For the first time in a long time, Sieun felt the feeling of inferiority creeping up his neck like a silent monster. His grip on his pen became tighter as his eyes were glued onto the notebook in front of him, not wanting to think about the result slip on the noticeboard.

"Sieun," You called out his name as you held your tray of food. The boy looked up from his English textbook as he looked at you, his earpieces still in his ears as you exhaled, feeling the awkwardness creeping up your arms.

"Could I sit here? I wanted to talk to you about certain subjects because I'm still not at my best," You asked until you realised that he was ignoring you, eyes glued back onto the text on the book in front of his face as you sighed, turning to walk back to the table with your friends.

That was over a year ago, and by the actual examination, sieun was back on top, with you being in second. That didn't bother you. You weren't aiming for the top, just high enough to get into a good school later on in life.

By the last year of school, the teachers saw that both of you were high academic achievers, which led to their decision to make both of you seatmates.

The air was tense at first. You never knew if you should talk to him or wait for him to start a conversation. You chose the latter, thinking back on your only other encounter with him the previous year.

Over the course of half a year, you were still struggling with Additional Mathematics, and you could never really understand it. You would've asked your classmates but only one other student took Additional Mathematics with you, and that was, lo and behold, Yeon Sieun.

It was break time, and on a usual day, you would've been at the snack bar with your friends deciding what to eat, but today wasn't the case. You had to figure out how to do the hard questions before the exams, and you were still struggling. The teacher was no help, simply telling you to check with Sieun. If you could, you would've.

"The shoelace method."

You lifted your head up from the paper as you turned to see sieun still writing in his notebook, despite you having just heard his voice.

"The shoelace method...?" You questioned him again as he turned to you, his face with his signature cold look, but he was offering help, who were you to reject that?

Sieun adjusted his seat as he moved slightly closer to your table, his chair slanted in your direction.

"I assume you already know the formula?" Sieun asked, not looking at you as his head was tilted slightly, reading the question carefully as he clicked his pen, writing down in blue ink as he explained.

"Take the points in the anti-clockwise direction. The first point chosen must be repeated..." Sieun explained as he wrote down the formula and numbers for the polygon.

You should have been focused, but somehow... having yeon sieun so closd to you made your heart jump. You gulped as you blinked, hard, focusing on the problem at hand.

"You can use the numbers in the motion of a shoelace, x1 with y2, so on and so forth, and eventually, you'll get this answer," Sieun wrote down the final answer as you looked at him, feeling starstruck.

Everyone knew he was smart, but getting to experience his academic ability first-hand made you feel a newfound respect for him. He knew his work, and he made sure he did.

That single event with both of you led to a more comfortable atmosphere as the days passed. Sieun didn't act like you didn't exist, and you could talk to him easily, most of the time.

A simple 'good morning sieun' and a nod back was a more usual occurrence between the both of you and the teachers were more than elated by that.

On that particular day, you didn't seem yourself, even sieun could see it. You didn't speak nor look at anyone in the class as yoj entered, head hanging low as you sat in your seat. You took out your books and placed them on the table, placing your head on them as you closed your eyes, feeling the lack of sleep beginning to seep in.

Your situation at home led to your current state, but you couldn't tell anyone. It's normal academic pressure, it was nothing to worry about ; you chose to believe it. Your grades were beginning to slip, slowly like a snake creeping up with its venom. Your parents weren't happy, a screaming match ensued the moment you arrived home at the start of the week and it was already Friday. You were exhausted. Emotionally and physically, you were done.

"Wake up. The teacher's here," Sieun muttered as he tapped on your shoulder, causing you to flinch as you woke up from your five minutes of sleep.

"I'll be announcing the winner of the additional mathematical olympiad competition that was held recently," The homeroom teacher spoke, but you were to busy beginning to doze off as the teacher's sudden mention of your name caused you to wake up once again.

"Congratulations, this prize is awarded to this student for achieving first place in the additional mathematics olympiad." The teacher announced as you stood up, walking to the teacher to receive the certificate, before plopping down on your seat once again.

"Yeon Sieun, second place," The teacher announced as loud gasps were heard around the room.

You opened your eyes as you saw Sieun at the front of the class, taking the certificate half-heartedly as he gave you the same glare he had given you a year ago, over the mock exam results.

"Now, now, settle down class," the teacher shouted over the muttering and chatter in the class while you were trying to grasp a few more minutes of sleep.

Everyone had gone for their lunch, and it was just you and sieun in the classroom.

"Was it fun?" Sieun suddenly asked, he was seated, facing the board as you turned to him, confused and exhausted.

"What?" You questioned back as sieun turned to you, his eyes glaring at you ad he continued, "Did you just want help because you wanted to surpass me? To get first place?"

You were too tired for this. Everything was becoming a blur in your head.

"Look, if you wanted to win that math olympiad, you could've said so. I didn't even want to take part in it, the teacher in charge signed me up," you muttered as sieun suddenly slammed the desk with his arm, causing it to turn red with each second that passed.

"You're lazy, and all you do is leech off of others. You ask me for help in everything, but can't even do such a basic concept like polygons." Sieun scoffed as you turned to him, eyebrows furrowed at his sudden aggresiveness.

"What is wrong with you? Just because of a stupid math competition, you're attacking me? Watch your mouth yeon sieun," You spat back at him as he turned to face you, his anger reaching its limits.

"You're pathetic," Sieun stated heartlessly as you stood up, grabbing your textbooks, shoving them into your bag, not caring if the covers or pages were bent. You made your way out of the class, walking down the hallway as you made your way to the main office.

"I'm not feeling well. I need to go home," you told the receptionist as she handed you the form to fill out to leave school early.

Sieun's words were echoing in your head as you thought about his harsh words. He was just like everyone around you. Your parents, always telling you to work harder, unsatisfied with everything that you did for your academics.

You walked down the path from the school gate to the bus stop as you quietly wiped away the tears that were threatening to fall. Floodgates were about to be released, but with the many people at the bus stop, that would be embarrassing. Your vision was still blurry from the lack of sleep, but you kept repeating in your head that it was nothing to worry about.

That was until your legs gave out, and the next thing you knew, you were on the floor, your head facing the road as you felt people calling out to you. They sounded mumbled, as if you were underwater. The world seemed to become a whirlpool as you inhaled deeply, before blacking out, the last thing being the sound of the ambulance.

The next week came, and Sieun walked into the classroom, waiting patiently with a box of milk, patiently waiting for you to arrive. He had thought about his actions over the weekend and realised he had lost his cool over something minor, and he had definitely hurt you. He tried to convince himself that he did the right thing, but he couldn't. Remembering how you looked at him, face full of hurt and hands trembling, he couldn't.

The bell rang, and the boy looked up from his notebook to see the seat next to him empty. You didn't arrive. Maybe you were late? He told himself as he placed the milk under your desk for you to see when you arrived.

"I have news to share with all of you," the teacher started as she walked into the classroom with a vase of white flowers, the atmosphere becoming heavy. The teacher was barely ever serious unless something bad happened, and that wasn't a good sign to sieun.

"Our classmate has passed away on Friday. I would like everyone to remember our dear friend as someone who was hard working and could be relied on."

Sieun's ears seemed to ring. A high-pitched ring with a buzzing feeling in his head as he turned to look at his classmates. Only your seat was empty.

"Sieun," the teacher called him as he snapped out of his daze, realising she was standing beside your table.

"I hope you're alright. I know the sudden news shocked you seeing as the both of you were quite close," The teacher said as she placed the flowers on your desk, leaving it as sieun couldn't help but stare at it.

You were gone, and the last thing he called you was 'pathetic'. He was so caught up in his inner turmoil that he was so blind as to not see you suffering right in front of his two very eyes.

Sieun reached out his hand, his hand grazing the clear vase as he thought of when he'd pat your head when you'd sleep in class. He didn't expect that the next time he'd see you, you would be in a casket, with a large potrait of your school photo in front of it.

"You must be yeon sieun." a voice called out as sieun turned to see an old woman in a black hanbok, a chief mourner badge around her arm as sieun nodded.

"You were always spoken highly of. My grandchild would always come home and excitedly tell me about how she talked to you more with each day that passed." the old woman told sieun as he looked to the ground. He felt ashamed, as if he shouldn't have been there. Even in death, you'd still find a way to clench his heart.

Sieun sat at his desk at home, staring at the wall. He felt as if his soul had been removed from his body. He always felt void of emotions, but somehow, he felt like there were too many emotions.

One drop, two drops.

Sieun felt his tears running down uncontrollably, not being able to keep himself together. Sieun never had many friends, but somehow, he always found you sneaking into his heart as someone dear to him, as someone he'd want in his life.

But it was too late. You were no longer a rival, but a friend.

---

MY ASS BRUH I WORKED ON THIS FOR 2 HOURS AND IT TURNE DOUT LIKE SHIT IM SO MAD AT 4:38AM AND ITS JFJFJRWBWJ

also the math part was kind of entertaining to write other than the fact i couldn't write the formula in so pls imagine it

[cursedvida]

SAD EYES, BROKEN SMILE VI (Buggy x F!Reader)

PART V // PART VII

RATING: +18, EXPLICIT.

WARNINGS: SMUT! Minors get out. Explicit sex, dirty talk, very soft daddy kink, praise kink, masturbation and other naughty thinks. Basically Buggy and Y/N resolving a lot of sexual tension.

N/A: i promise putting more plot in the next chapters but this one is basically p0rn with feelings so enjoy.

Buggy can't get you out of your head. The image of your flushed cheeks, the sweat on your forehead as those moans come out of your mouth, the way you shake when he touches you… Every time he thinks of your naked body, your swollen and tight breasts, he feels his pants start to tighten. You're a pretty girl who seems to have done nothing wrong in her life but is capable of becoming a master of hand-to-hand combat, ending the lives of those who get in her way. And then there's that third aspect of you, the inexperienced little girl who gets wet with just a couple of caresses. You're driving him crazy.

He didn't get enough of you yesterday, he wants more. He needs more. He intends to devour you whole, to make you moan his name again, to make you get down on your knees to beg him to penetrate you because you can't take it anymore. When he comes out of his cabin the crew is on their feet, he has a little trouble finding you. He needs some excuse for you to go with him, though he doesn't understand why it's so complicated if he's the captain, he doesn't need to make excuses, his orders are more than enough.

"Hey, Y/N, can you come here for a moment?"

Your heart skips a beat as soon as you hear his voice. You couldn't sleep all night thinking about what had happened. You have recalled again and again the scene of yesterday, thinking ashamedly about the pleasure you had felt with Buggy's fingers, his lips, his teeth… Looking at him you know perfectly well why he is claiming you, he still has that gleam of lust in his eyes. And you go to him, because it's too strong a claim to resist.

Buggy mumbles something out loud about helping him with some bills in his cabin, but you know perfectly well that he only said it for the other crew members to hear. So you're not surprised by the impetus with he kisses you as soon as he closes the door. You reciprocate, it's as if you can't keep your hands off each other.

"That thing about you not wanting to spend the night with me has got me a little fucked up," he growls in your ear.

It's not that you didn't want to spend the night with him, it's that you don't feel ready to take that step yet. You like him and you want him, with all your might, but yesterday was the first time you had anything sexual with someone and you need to get some more experience, you don't want to disappoint him.

Buggy has spoken with some irony, but actually he's trying to camouflage an atrocious fear of rejection. Yesterday he took it for granted that you would end up in bed but you didn't, which left him totally baffled. Hadn't you liked it enough? Impossible, you had cum, you had climaxed and he knew you weren't faking it. Maybe you hadn't liked it enough? The thought of not being good enough tormented him. In general he was always afraid of not meeting certain expectations, he had an overly insecure background and his sexual relationships were no exception.

"What do you say, silly?" You let out a nervous chuckle. It is very difficult for you to talk about this subject, you are a person used to having everything under control, but in matters of sex you really know zero or very little. You don't want to look like a stupid child in front of him.

"Then why didn't you stay?"

You notice Buggy isn't joking, at first he seemed to be but now you can see in his expression that he's really interested in knowing your answer. You wonder if he felt bad that you turned down that offer and suddenly the possibility that he thinks you didn't like it, that you didn't enjoy yourself enough terrifies you.

"It's just… " You swallow some saliva, you don't know how to tell him without looking like a fool. "I told you that… well, I haven't been like this before with anyone…"

Buggy then realizes what that means. In the moment yesterday, in the midst of lust and passion, all he cared about was making you feel pleasure, hearing you moan his name, but now thinking coldly he begins to understand what you mean by sleeping together.

"Hey, Y/N" He calls out to you, you look up, still self-conscious "We're not going to do anything you don't want, what kind of a prick do you think I am?"

"I don't think you're a prick, it's just…"

Buggy grabs you by the wrist gently, guiding you to the bed. He then sits you on his knees and starts kissing your neck.

"I just want to know how it feels like sleeping with you" he admits between kisses "you don't know how much I love your naked body, it must be amazing to see it as soon as you wake up."

You notice how your cheeks burn again, those kind of comments make you totally block.

"Buggy!" You exclaim, very nervous.

"Look at you, no one would say you blew at least ten marines yesterday" he lets out a chuckle as he starts unbuttoning your blouse. You're not wearing any underwear, so your breasts appear in front of his eyes, taut and swollen. Buggy grimaces mischievously "Mmm what a nice breakfast we have here."

Instantly his lips are on one of your nipples, sucking as if he is ready to draw milk. Before you can react, Buggy brings his hand to your crotch, starting to rub gently. You can't believe it's happening again, but it's just what you've been craving all night. Being left at the mercy of that pirate is something that makes you feel more alive than ever.

"My god, baby girl, are you wet yet?" He raises his eyebrows, surprised and amused at the same time "You're making it hard for me, huh. You don't know how I can't wait to taste how my cock must feel slipping with those flows."

Buggy likes to talk and he likes to talk real dirty during sex. You thought it was something from yesterday, from the alcohol and the celebratory moment, but you're realizing how much it turns him on to say those things to you as he takes over your body. And you're also realizing how much it turns you on too.

When you want to realize Buggy has already got rid of your shorts, your shirt and your panties. You are naked again, this time on his legs. He turns you towards him, so that your breasts are at his face level. Your wet pussy brushes against the fabric of his pants, under which a huge bulge begins to peek out. Instinctively you sit on the bulge and start rubbing yourself, feeling a great excitement.

"Look how naughty you are turning out to be" He teases you, grabbing you around the waist as his tongue splits between your two nipples. "That's it precious, move for daddy."

The friction between your naked pussy and his bulge makes your clit swell, feeling a huge surge of pleasure every time you rub. Your hips wiggle obscenely, something Buggy seems to love. He rests his hands on your buttocks, accompanying your smooth, sensual movements.

"Good girl" he gasps, closing his eyes "You're going to make me cum without taking my cock out, naughty girl."

"Buggy, this really turns me on" you admit, in a moan so high pitched you don't even recognize your voice "Buggy…"

You notice how your bulge hardens, your excited voice making him very horny. He gives your buttock a little spank and to your surprise you love it.

"More" you gasp without stopping moving.

Buggy raises an eyebrow.

"More?" he grins from ear to ear "Babe wants to be punished?"

You don't want to admit that kind of thing turns you on, you never would have guessed it, but it does. However, you don't plan to play into his game.

"More, please."

Buggy spanks you again, nothing hard, just a little. You bring your breasts close to his face, his nose sinks in the middle as his mouth stains them red. You feel his hot tongue on your smooth skin, his pants wet with your fluids. Orgasm is near but you don't want it to come yet, you want to hold on, you want the feeling of pleasure to last forever.

With some clumsiness, you unbutton his pants. His huge bulge then appears, you don't hesitate to uncover it to reveal his erection. You stroke it gently, it's hot and hard. Buggy closes his eyes at the touch, letting out a moan of acceptance.

"Do you like it, Captain?" you ask, and you notice how calling him Captain makes him even harder.

Buggy nods without opening his eyes.

"It's all yours."

You stroke it some more just before you place it between your legs, rubbing your intimate part with it, rubbing it over his member. Buggy feels your wet pussy on his erect cock and can't help but let out a grunt of pleasure, the friction is now too direct

"Shit" he mutters, pulling you closer to him so he can eat your nipples.

"Buggy!" You exclaim, your body moving impudently over his erection, your legs closing around it to increase the friction. It's the closest you've ever come to experiencing penetration, though you still don't feel quite ready for him to stick it in you.

Your captain is too busy plunging between your breasts, tasting them, biting them, leaving little marks wherever his mouth goes. You notice how he sighs as you rub against his cock.

"Buggy… it feels so good" you moan, actually talking to yourself. You have never experienced such sensations before. You feel like you're going to lose your mind. "I can't stop, I need more"

Buggy sticks her head out from between your breasts and looks at you. His makeup has partially smudged, it's the first time you've seen his mouth so devoid of red paint. God, why does he have to be so handsome, why must you find him so terribly attractive? It should be illegal to have those feelings. He shifts his hips a little, grabbing you around the waist to keep his posture just right. His glans brushing against your clit is something that makes you cry out in pleasure.

"Yeah, my girl" he gasps, he's even more aroused than last night, you can see it in his face. "Cum for me, little girl. I can't believe you're so fucking horny."

"I can't take it anymore, it's too hot" you gasp as you rub and rub harder. You feel the rogamos closer than ever.

"Do I really make you that horny?" Buggy moves too, his mouth is open, his gasps are less loud but there they are. He looks at you with an expression he hasn't put on before, as if something of vital importance to him really depends on your answer. "Tell me little girl, are you that wet because of me?"

"Of course I am, I'm with you here, aren't I?"

You don't know why that question comes at a time like that, but then Buggy looks at you and you can see a glint of excitement in his eyes.

"Why?"

That question totally throws you off. To you it's so obvious the answer that you don't understand how he could be questioning such things. To you he is the only man who has ever brought you to have you in that situation, the only man who has ever kissed you, who has ever touched you, who has ever made you cum. He's the only man you've surrendered to, leaving you totally naked at his mercy. But to Buggy it doesn't seem so obvious. Suddenly you can catch that strange sadness of that night when you first saw each other in the cellar. His eyes have an indecipherable melancholy, his insecurity has come to the fore in a moment where he feels vulnerable.

Still moving over him, you lean your face slightly over his, placing a slow, wet kiss on his lips. Your tongue and his entangled again, his bare hands on your burning body. Your pussy rubbing over his erect member.

"I don't know" you confess "I just know I want it to be you."

Buggy's eyes are closed, he's so excited. His response comes as a gasp.

"Me be the what?"

"The one" you reply, before kissing him passionately.

He pulls you closer to himself, you shake your hips a little more. You moan into his mouth, he moans into yours, neither of you separate as you finally feel the rogamos come. As you begin to shake with ecstasy, you notice how he grunts and his body tenses. Soon your whole pussy is drenched in cum, he has cum too, you have done it almost at the same time. You fall on top of him, totally unarmed, panting.

"You've cum without putting it in me" you mutter, almost unable to move, drawing a small smile of satisfaction.

Buggy pulls away slightly, stroking one of your cheeks. You'd never have guessed that such a brute could have a tender and delicate side. He runs over the features of your face with his index finger, caressing each and every one of your angles.

"You're going to be my only one from now on" she whispers huskily "And from today you're going to sleep with me."

"Is that a warning?"

"Of course not" Buggy pushes a couple of locks away from your face "It's an order from your captain".

[valentine-cafe]

i recently re-read the secret admirer with herrera husbands (209) and oh dear gods, it's soo good. and i was wondering if maybe, i could get a continuation of it?<3

also have a bit of my rambling about secret admirer reader, because i got bored at lectures, haha.

(gn reader)

a hypochondriac. that's what your friends and family called you whenever they heard that you were going to the doctor again. any minor problem was a good enough excuse to see dr herrera again, and leave another set of gifts. after some time, lying to the poor janitor was becoming easier and you didn't even have to resort to stealing keys, if only to leave a loving note.

to others, such behaviour would come off as weird. you knew. you oh so greatly knew that, still remembering how that one person you were a secret admirer for reacted way back. with rejection.

and you just didn't want to live through such an experience again, being content with only leaving gifts, never seeing the reaction. did your notes made them happy? did they appreciate another glass jar with eyes or other body part? you knew not. but you were content with it.

of course, you knew that one day, you would be noticed. it was bound to happen. what you didn't expect was that you would be caught so quickly. and just before your visit. . . you just couldn't recall it now.

even if the fear of just another rejection was eating you up.

– sincerely, 🦇anon <3 (sorry for my questionable english, it's like my third language,,)

˖⁺. ﹙ mad doctor yandere  x gn reader x mad scientist yandere. ﹚ .𖹭 ݁

. . . secret thing !! 🍒 :  jìngyí: mad doctor ˖ naga ˖ yandere character ˖ rishen: mad scientist ˖ mantis-moth-spider hybrid ˖ yandere character﹙ verse 209 jìngyí & rishen. ﹚

they discover that you are their new little secret admirer

“my. . . you’re even prettier up close.”

the fingers that trailed along your cheek send sparks through your chest and up your spine that flushes to the office chair. the doctor’s chair. yet standing before you is far from the charming, kind man who has treated you from the fakest of flues to the smallest of rashes.

instead - his husband. with a smile that sends your blood pumping through your veins. from fear? excitement? you’re not sure. all you can do is let out a bit of a squeak as the scientist leans over your form that had been stumbled into the chair so unceremoniously.

a far cry from the tender thumb that strokes along your cheekbone. a smile that outshines sharp eyes that trail you head to toe. a cunning, smooth voice tops it all off. like the cherry on a bloodied cake. soon to be you.

“I hear you have taken quite. . . the liking to my husband.”

“dearest. spare them will you not?”

the deep voice from behind has you shooting a hand to your mouth to contain your squeals. something you barely manage when slithered gold hues peer at you over his husband’s shoulder.

“I told you, they are. . . interesting.”

jìngyí’s sly hands slowly trace up rishen’s sides. caressing up then back down to the swell of his hips. his lips lather on his husband’s neck with a love that makes your heart throb. even more so we his gaze meets your face and you catch the smile against rishen’s divine skin.

a shaky breath. you thank the heavens that jìngyí pulls rishen away - for you are not sure if your poor, smitten heart could behold the scene of them love each other much longer.

“you have been quite the peculiar patient - have you not?” jìngyí click his tongue and takes his lover’s place. leaning over you while rishen circles around behind the chair. his smooth hands trailing down to your shoulders, before tracing up your neck and cupping beneath your chin. thumbs at the corners of your jaw and raising your face to meet the doctor’s properly.

“peculiar indeed. . . and so. . . tempting.”

“I. . . I don’t understand,” you choked. eyes looking up at them brightly. hopefully.

and with both of their hands on you. their lips to your ears - you could practically feel your irises shaping into hearts.

“we’ve decided to keep you. . . can’t let go of such a dedicated pet - now can we?”

[the-catmans-offical-2]

Uh, I made one of these tier things to try and organize my thoughts on characters. Gonna probably make another post to explain my feelings on each individual character but here's the basics:

Wrath, Ed, and Al are all in the top tier because of their relationship with one another - and because Al is a great character and I will throw up.

Scar, Rosè, Gluttony, 48, Winry, and Lust are all in the same tier because I love them; They're technically still in the top/first tier, but this secondary tier is to say, "yeah, I love these guys too! But my understanding of their characters are basic level and while I did pay attention to them in the series - I was admittedly much more focused on Wrath." I would put Lust up higher (because of her correlation with Wrath) but it feels wrong to seperate her from Scar.

The third tier is the beginning of the neutral tier, they're simply ranked up higher because I love their designs or their personalities popped out to me. (Sig is ranked up so high because they could never make me hate him, and it wasn't his fault what Izumi did to Wrath.)

Neutral feelings tier sounds just like it says, I feel neutral about these characters. Or they're cool but they didn't catch my eye well enough (Dante and Envy are the acception to this, as well as the rejected Ishbalan (I forgot the proper English term), as they're extremely cool but (in terms of Dante and Envy) they did shit I wasn't fond of so I don't put them higher or lower. (The rejected Ishbalan is there because we didn't get to learn more about him, but I genuinely wanna know more about him!)

I hate everyone in the I HATE YOU category, but I feel conflicted in some way or another in terms of their character - the only acception is Elicia and Elkhart. Elkhart for being a villian I could barely wrap my head around ; And Elicia BECAUSE SHE GOT MORE SCREENTIME IN CHIBI PARTY THAN WRATH AND IM VERY PISSED OFF ABOUT IT!!!

Th who are you tier is just for characters that I wish had more screentime but at the same time I'm not very focused on it. (Yes, I do know who they are, I only called the category that for the sake of it.)

Animals. Self explainitory. There's mostly dogs and pigs here... I wish there was more cats! ( ´∀`)

Yes, a lot of my opinions are Wrath based - such as how characters may interact with him and whatnot. Yes, I know that's probably a weird way to sort characters around based on my opinion of them. However, that's the easiest way, or one of the easiest ways, for me to sort these characters based on my preference!

[angelsanarchy]

One Long Weekend: - Clyde/YN One-Shot Series CH 11

"I never said that!" "Yeah well I don't get off on repeat rejection so I'll just go."

Tagging: @roryculkinluvr @siriuslymooned @cc-luvr @crypticsewerslut @icarus-star @desert-springtime @shady-the-simp @izuoyarmin

SUNDAY, 12:30AM

The games continued and Y/n continued to drown her sorrows in whatever Lola and Beau were pouring in her solo cup. Clyde kept his eyes on her trying to get her to come back and sit with him but she wouldn't budge. Snow picked up on the vibe and kept trying to make cute comments but the only response she seemed to get was a huff or forced smile.

"Ohhh! Never have I ever made it to third base in the closet." Y/n happened to glance up and watched Clyde put his finger down. Something in her gut caught fire and she let out a loud HA! that startled everyone.

"So you will hook up in the closet, just not with me." Y/n shook her head and Clyde blushed.

"Y/n..." Snow reached out but Y/n was already fighting angry tears. She hated being someone who cried when they got angry. They made her feel weak.

"Wait, you too haven't hooked up yet? How is that possible?" Beau slurred.

"Beats me. I guess I'm just not your friends type or he just finds me absolutely hideous." Y/n started getting up but got the spins.

"Can you just wait?" Clyde reached out but she pulled away.

"I got the message Clyde. Loud and clear. You guys have been great but I think it's time I head out." The group groaned and kept trying to get her to stay but she ran out of the apartment, heading back to Clyde's. Luckily he left the door unlocked so she could gather her few things. She heard the door open and shut not too long after she had pushed it shut.

"Hey! Please stop okay?" Clyde put his hands up trying to stay out of Y/n's way as she aggressively tossed her things into her bag.

"You could have told me you didn't like me Clyde. We could have been great friends but you let me throw myself out you like an idiot and now I've humiliated myself in front of your friends." Y/n shouted, watching Clyde reach for his aid like he was adjusting it or turning the volume down. She made a note to lower her voice.

"Please just stop and talk to me okay? I know you're upset and that its my fault but you can't just take off. You've had too much to drink-" Clyde tried to calm the situation but Y/n shook her head.

"I'm not wasted Clyde. I can Uber to a hotel and you can enjoy the rest of your weekend." Y/n put the strap of her bag on her shoulder but Clyde moved in front of the door.

"So you think because I'm not taking advantage of you that I'm not interested in you?" Clyde asked wanting more clarification.

"Honestly I don't know what you want. I have made multiple advances on you and you've turned me down every time." Clyde frowned.

"I mean...you saw me naked for Christ sake..." Y/n looked down at her feet and Clyde stepped towards her.

"Y/n..." Clyde reached out to take her hand.

"You've clearly brought others back and thought they were hot enough to fuck in a closet so..." Y/n wanted to take comfort in Clyde squeezing her hand but she didn't.

"I never said that." Clyde defended.

"Yeah well I don't get off on repeat rejection so I'll just go." Y/n pulled her hand from Clyde's to walk past him but the moment she had her back to him, he spun her around, slamming her back against the door but putting his hand up quickly so her head would hit his hand and not the door.

Now Y/n was surprised. This was the most aggressive Clyde had been since they started hanging out.

"You think I just bring girls back like this? Like you're just some random groupie I happened to pick up at one of the shows to bring back and fuck?" Clyde's tone was strong. He wanted Y/n to understand him.

"I don't know Clyde. I don't know anything about you. We've slept in the same bed, spent the entire day together, I let you know where I live, I let you see me naked! I'm acting like some crazy obsessed fangirl and that's not who I am!" Clyde watched Y/n getting upset and felt awful.

"I like you. I like spending time with you and making you laugh. I've barely spent two days with you and it's been some of the most fun I've had in a long time and I'm ruining everything." Y/n covered her face in embarrassment and Clyde pulled at her hands.

"You aren't ruining anything. Please don't cry." Clyde pleaded.

"No I am ruining everything. I get drunk and become this jealous, blubbering idiot as if I have some sort of stake on you and you haven't even tried to kiss-" Clyde cut her off, lips on hers, free hand resting gently on her throat. Y/n wasn't expecting it in the slightest so when his tongue dipped between her lips, she moaned. He tasted like rum and cigarettes and kissed like he was trying to pull oxygen directly from your lungs. When Clyde pulled away, he briefly rested his forehead against hers, opening his eyes to see hers were still closed.

"I don't bring girls like you home. You aren't some groupie hanging around the band, settling to fuck around with the guy who drives them around. You're you and that is...so much more." Clyde swallowed the lump in his throat and Y/n opened her eyes.

"Clyde..." Y/n wanted to respond but suddenly pushed Clyde away from her, throwing up mere inches from his shoes. That was not what Clyde was expecting either but he immediately started to help her.

"Oh my God. Oh my God." Y/n kept repeating mortified. Clyde helped her to the bathroom where she collapsed in front of the toilet, continuing to wretch. Clyde pulled her hair back and used one of his wrist ties to keep her hair from falling into the puke. He held a washcloth under the faucet and held it to the back of her neck while he rubbed her back.

"Y/n? Clyde?" Snow called out.

"Is that vomit?" Lola gagged and ran back out of the room.

"Snow! Give me a hand." Clyde called out, hearing Snow practically sliding across the floor. She stopped at the door and saw the state of Y/n and frowned.

"Aw babe." Snow felt awful for her.

"I've got her, go." She tried to politely rush Clyde out but he didn't want to leave her.

"Trust me, no girl wants the person she's into seeing her like this. I promise I've got her. Just make sure she'll have someplace clear of puke to sleep." Snow put her hand on Clyde's shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze before shutting the door in his face.

[heretichromia]

Have you read Kakania’s side story in r99 yet(or if you plan to). Would be interested in hearing your thoughts!! (Though no pressure of course)

They are addicted to twisting the knife. They can't help themselves.

I'm usually not a fan of the trope of examining a character's psychiatric condition by having a psychiatrist literally just explicitly lay it out. Though it can be used in more elegant and subtle ways, it's usually just a shorthand for letting an omniscient third party just...say what's wrong with a character in an expedient fashion, or summarize what was said more eloquently before in a clinical way less likely to be misunderstood, and that's...boring.

In this case...I still don't like the exact way they did it, but I think the framing device sort of works as a nail in the coffin for Kakania's self-image. Her faith in her psychiatric ability was already in the gutter, since she utterly failed to understand Isolde at all, but now it's completely dust. Her incomplete psychiatric education is now a century outdated, and the theories she clung to as a beacon of a brighter future are now considered defunct. This obviously isn't the only reason, but I'm sure it's a contributing factor for why she doesn't even take up work as a psychiatrist at the Foundation.

I'm...kind of surprised by how little we actually got from it? In many of these stories, we get new insights on the POV characters that we don't really have time for in the plots they come from, insights that occasionally change the way we see them (Isolde comes to mind), but a lot of what was directly spelled out for us here were things we could have already inferred from the MSQ. It didn't give us nothing—we got some more context behind her relationship with her brother, for instance, which makes that scene in the MSQ a little more painful—so I guess my expectations should have been tempered for a personal story about a character who already experienced more or less a full character arc. It's less of a deeper dive into Kakania than it is a necessary point of "closure" for her story, tying up some of the hanging threads to...varying degrees of satisfaction. I did like seeing her express in words that she wished she were more honest about her feelings to the people she cared about—or that she understood herself well enough to know her feelings well enough to put them into words.

I also think parts of it were good for showing how the character development landed. Her decision to join the History...Preservation, I want to say? Division is consistent and a pretty nice ribbon on her growth. The decision to reject joining Vertin's task force is a particularly noteworthy one, to eschew becoming part of a new glamorous and idealistic vanguard searching for a solution to the world's sickness to become instead one of the expendable people in the background putting in necessary lifesaving work. I think that's a nice choice.

I'm not so much of a fan of what they've done with Isolde, but. C'est la vie, I guess. For Kakania to just be able to fix her would have destroyed the whole-ass point of their story, but some of the knife-twisting really feels excessive. I'd have preferred to see them interact instead of Bluepoch concocting some dubious brew to explain how we can never see closure between them because it would annihilate Isolde's mental state, even if this situation ends up being temporary.

It was...fine, I guess. They could have done a lot worse.

[earhartsplane]

Since we're all talking about plagiarism now, I'd like to share this video which came out last year about a paper accepted at the CVPR 2022:

For the people not in the know, the Computer Vision and Pattern Recognition conference is the biggest conference in computer science. Last year, in 2022, the paper featured in the video got accepted. A few days later, this video was posted. The first author, a PhD student, apologized and the paper was retracted and removed from the proceedings. Hilariously, the first reaction of the co-authors, including a professor at the Seoul National University, was to say that they had nothing to do with it.

My point here is that scientific papers are not rigorously checked for plagiarism, and a background in academia tells you absolutely nothing about whether or not someone will be diligent in avoiding plagiarism. The biggest difference is that there are consequences if you're caught.

I also don't want people to be too harsh on the first author of this paper, or to think the situation is equivalent to the whole Somerton debacle. For starters, you don't get paid for publishing papers, you (or more commonly your university) pay the publishers. But the phrase publish or perish exists for a reason, and everyone in the field wants to get published in the CVPR, because it's supposed to show that you're great at research. Additionally, the number of papers and the prestige of the venues they're published in criteria on which you will be evaluated as a researcher and a university employee.

The way I see it, there are basically two kinds of plagiarism that are shown in the video. The first one concerns sentences that are lifted completely unchanged from other papers. This is bad, and it is plagiarism, but I can see how this would happen. Most instances of this appear in the introduction and on background information, so if you're insecure about your mastery of English and it's not about your contribution anyway, I can understand how you would take the shortcut of copy-pasting and tell yourself that it's just so that the rest of the paper makes sense, and why waste time on phrasing things differently if others have done it already, and it's not like there are a million way to write these equations anyways.

Let me be clear. I don't approve, or condone. It's still erasing the work of the people who took the time and pain to phrase these things. It's still plagiarism. But I understand how you could get to that point.

The second kind of plagiarism is a way bigger deal in my opinion. At 0:37 , we can see that one of the contributions of the paper is also lifted from another paper. Egregiously, the passage includes "To the best of our knowledge, this is the first [...]" , which is a hell of a thing to copy-paste. So this is not only lazily passing other people's words as your own, it's also pretending that you're making a contribution you damn well know other people have already done. I also wasn't able to find a version of the plagiarized article that had been published in a peer-reviewed venue, which might mean that the authors submitted it, got rejected, and published it on arXiv (an website on which authors can put their papers so that they're accessible to the public, but doesn't "count" as a publication because it's not peer-reviewed. You can also put papers that are under review or have been published on there as long as you're careful with the copyrights and double-blind process). And then parts of it were published in the CVPR under someone else's name.

I think there's also a third kind of plagiarism going on here, one that is incredibly common in academia, but that is not shown in the video. That's the FIVE other authors, including a professor, who were apparently happy to add their name to the paper but obviously didn't do anything meaningful since they didn't notice how much plagiarism was going on.

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

no more what ifs - a goro akechi meta

Inspired by a meta I reblogged a bit ago. It was really good and you should read it, as it serves as a good companion piece to this analysis, but it didn't analyze the song through the specific lens I personally believe it's meant to be seen through--that is, the Third Semester/Maruki's reality. Don't get me wrong, I think the song can be applied to Akechi in general, just that we can't truly understand the depths of its meaning unless we view it through the lens of what Akechi is feeling in the Third Semester. Needless to say, that's what I'll be doing here.

People come and they go Some people may stay with you though I am all alone tonight and I kept on Asking myself questions

Akechi has lived most of his life alone. People have come and gone temporarily, but no one has really stuck until Joker entered his life. (I don't think I need to make the case that it's Joker he's talking about when he says some people stay with you, I think it's pretty obvious it has to be him.) Joker, someone he can't comprehend, the only person he's let in. Akechi can't understand Joker, so naturally, he's constantly thinking of him, and why he's stuck with him when so many others haven't.

Conceited I was at time I never really doubted myself But tonight got me thinking about it all If I am the fool or what not

All Akechi can do in the Third Semester is think about his choices and his mistakes and wonder if he did the right thing and what led him here. He's been forced to live (for now) after everything he'd worked and lived for fell apart under him. He's reflecting on his past arrogance and how that blinded him.

"If I am the fool or what not" holds a double meaning. Akechi is doubting if he was a fool in the general sense, if he was made a fool for his plan of revenge. But he's also wondering if he was the Fool in the Persona sense of the word (something that will have a payoff at the end of the song).

I do not Regret with my choices I'm rather proud Ooh I know I won't change Anything Because I can only be me so

Akechi can't afford regret. To regret would be to admit that Maruki's ideal reality, where his choices were erased, has any hold on him. To regret would be to let go of the person he is and the person he has become.

Who Akechi really is is another topic that can be elaborated on ad nauseum, so I won't do that here. Maybe I'll do that another time when I finally write the meta about Akechi and agency that's been living in my head for a long while.

Suffice to say, Akechi believes his choices, his actions, his revenge, all define him. He refuses to let Maruki erase them just because they don't fit with his ideal reality. Akechi is fundamentally incompatible with everything Maruki stands for, and he knows it.

How can I be so sure? At a crossroads I'm afraid too But I can't let fear get the best of me Someone once said burn my dread babe

"Burn my dread" is a reference to a song from Persona 3. I haven't played the entire game as of yet, but Persona 3 is a game all about facing and accepting death. "Burn my dread" is a lyric that points to this theme, and the theme of facing one's fears head-on.

Akechi is dead. He knows this perhaps from the very moment he comes back to life. He certainly knows it for most of the Third Semester. He is dead, and to reject Maruki's reality, to embrace himself, is to face that death for the second time, and accept it. But Akechi can't let his fear of death stop him from making his choice. He will die on his own terms and "burn his dread."

Who knows what tomorrow holds? Just wanna live my life the way I want What fills up my soul is passionate Music that makes me want to sing

This is, yet again, Akechi asserting that he will be himself, that he will find meaning in life on his own terms, and that he will not let anyone other than himself define who he is or what he wants. Music is dynamic and complex, something that can express deep truths of one's soul. The Jazz Jin, a place of music, is Akechi's in a way very little else is. It's not Shido's puppet's, not the Detective Prince's, but Akechi's place of solitude and self reflection. It is the place he decides to share with Joker--in a way, he is baring his very soul to Joker. Letting him into his heart.

My story will be starring me just like yours ooh ooh Who knows when will it end What matters most is how you bring joy to life so

This is paying off the beginning of the song. Akechi is asserting that the world doesn't revolve around Joker. Goro is the Fool, he is the main character, he is not defined by anyone but himself and himself alone.

And the last two lines simply restate themes running throughout the song. Akechi is himself. He will accept his death when it comes, and he will not live by anyone's rules but his own.

No More What Ifs shows us the doubt that Akechi rarely expresses that runs deep to his core. Wondering if he made a mistake in isolating himself, wondering if Joker was right all along, wondering if and how things might have gone wrong.

But Akechi can't let himself doubt for long. He always comes back to that certainty that he can't be anyone but himself. He can't let anyone change him. He can't let go of who he is, not for anything. The song is full of him reassuring himself of his path--that no matter what, he will not regret. He can't afford it. He will not waver from his path.

Now, more than ever, after being faced with the consequences of his mistakes and being offered an out, Akechi has to assert his free will and defy Maruki. And that's what this song expresses.

[wutheringheightsfilm]

Thank you for answering my Arcane ask, I'm shy to come off anon but I love critical discussion of Arcane/League/Riot and I love to hear your thoughts! This is long again so no pressure, I understand if you want to be done. Honestly, I totally forgot about the child murder scene, he straight up kills a kid. I got too caught up in Arcane's pattern of using Zaun as a setting for Unique And Evil Danger. I've seen people defend Jayce with the fact he didn't know kids would be there, but I think the bigger point is that he brought a magic bazooka to shoot up a bunch of factory workers.

The fact that Mel and Ekko are so underutilized as two powerhouse factions in the opposing sides of a class war is nonsensical and it makes zero sense. Mel is one of the more compelling characters since there are maybe four of those in the entire cast, I just have to forget that she's at the highest level of the Piltover plutocracy but she was so close at the end of season 1, I thought the show might actually commit to her character development. The fact that she's lost her influence with the council just as she's rejected her mother's legacy, which puts her in a similar position as her childhood, could have been so good with her doing something concrete. It's like any time a character starts to actualize even a vague solidarity with Zaun, the show immediately sidelines them, literally zaps them into the third dimension? Why is Caitlyn more present than Mel in Ambessa's storyline right now??? And Ekko being the only character with an established following able to fight back is just GONE for the entire invasion, almost as though the show is scared of depicting a justified rebellion. Ekko should have decked Jayce, but the show couldn't even let him scold Jayce uninterrupted for putting the Hextech failsafe in Zaun.

If only Silco hadn't missed his shot, Vi would've been put out of her misery before she could deepthroat Piltover's boot. Caitlyn was bad in season 1 too but I can't get into that without listing the 573393 reasons she deserves to die, but she's been a pig this whole time.

Also, I want to clarify that Viktor isn't exactly a beacon of political awareness in the League lore (shocking, I know!!), He was originally created to be an Evil Communist/mad scientist archetype until they reworked his story to be more ambiguously heroic/morally gray. He's genuinely more fucked up in League but also more compelling and actively more involved in helping Zaun (unlike how divorced he is from his roots in Arcane until he's suddenly magic evil Moses) and he does turn on Piltover. Fun fact, his work gets stolen by a Piltover professor and the show does put that professor in the show for two seconds, as the golden statue Heimerdinger shows to Jayce when he lectures him about being a force for "good" instead of focused purely on science. Btw, fuck Heimerdinger too! Let Ekko interact with anyone other than the Piltover bootlickers ffs....

There's so much to criticize with how popular this show is, I embarrassingly had to cut down this huge ask not to go into more stuff. Thank you for listening!!

sorry for taking so long to answer this!!! omg i'll probably put my answer under a cut cus i'm sure i'll have a lot to say back. i really appreciate that you like hearing my thoughts teehee!

oh arcane absolutely sets up zaun as a uniquely evil place it's so skewed

I've seen people defend Jayce with the fact he didn't know kids would be there, but I think the bigger point is that he brought a magic bazooka to shoot up a bunch of factory workers. - people are defending jayce???? and also literally like why would he bring a magical bazooka to shoot up a bunch of factory workers like idk why they were acting like jayce didn't know that it was emphasized to him that silco was the one running everything and that he was keeping everyone underfoot (not entirely true because obviously he had help) so why would you ... bring a giant weapon to hurt civilians with

It's like any time a character starts to actualize even a vague solidarity with Zaun, the show immediately sidelines them, literally zaps them into the third dimension? - SAY THATTT like it has bothered me so much! just when ekko was getting more and more interesting, bam he's gone in another plane of existence. just when heimerdinger is finally working with the undercity for once in his miserable life, bam, another plane of existence. right when viktor has gone back to the undercity? nope. killed. we literally can't have shit around here!! the fact that mel has been so sidelined in favor for CAITLYN is absolutely fucking absurd. like please say sike are you fucking joking

i wouldve loved to see mel and sevika work together about something. someone make that happen

And Ekko being the only character with an established following able to fight back is just GONE for the entire invasion, almost as though the show is scared of depicting a justified rebellion. Ekko should have decked Jayce, but the show couldn't even let him scold Jayce uninterrupted for putting the Hextech failsafe in Zaun. - SAY IT ALL. SAY IT ALL.

ekko and mel getting so sidelined like this just speaks to the antiblackness of the writers but who tf is surprised

If only Silco hadn't missed his shot, Vi would've been put out of her misery before she could deepthroat Piltover's boot. Caitlyn was bad in season 1 too but I can't get into that without listing the 573393 reasons she deserves to die, but she's been a pig this whole time. -- literally no fucking notes LMAOOOO this is exactly what ive been thinking 😭 it would have been infinitely more interesting if Vi had teamed up with Ekko to try and overthrow Silco instead of teaming up with Caitlyn but we can't have that apparently

i hate caitlyn and i always will i will never understand the appeal of caitvi. shoot me for it idc (not you anon, the masses LOL)

of course viktor was the evil communist isn't his voice actor doing a czech accent lmao . im sure hes more fucked up in game but i would love to see the more compelling version of him tbh . i honestly hated how divorced he was from the undercity until he became jesus for some reason like ugh god

fuck heimerdinger though you're so right about that. mfer took 300 years to help the undercity??? DIE HAMSTER

this show has so many problems but you wouldn't think it does because everyone is like arcane is the best cartoon since sliced bread. and i honestly don't know why tbh LMAO

anyways thank you for another ask!!! feel free to go off whenever you like <3

[comforthouse]

can you do simeon to mc fluff/23. "I forgot to eat" "You forget to breath also, nothing new" ?

"Please eat"

Paring: Simeon x gn!mc

Warning: bad habits, sleep deprivation, Solomon.

Genre: Fluff,

Type: None, slightly romantic at the end.

Note: Hope its long enough lol. Luckily i was free and in the spirit so it took only a few hours for this.

Eyes strained and dry, they threaten to close yet you didn't let them. What time was it? You didn't know, nor did you bother with it. 

Your mental health has taken a turn for the worst these days. Assignments whose due dates were too close for your liking, exams on their way and dealing with the brothers shenanigans left you feeling worse. 

You loved the seven brothers Of Course, but a human like you can only deal with so much before breaking- thankfully or not, depending on how you see it, Solomon offered to help you with a few topics that you didn't really understand before you ended up blowing up. And you had never appreciated the shady sorcerer more. 

That was, until he got up and left you alone in the purgatory hall after getting a call from Barbatos about an emergency. 

'Seriously, did Barbatos come across a rat again?' 

Your stomach rumbled as you let out a small groan. The desire to bash your head against the wall grows each second as you regret every decision you had made in the past day. 

The first was the 2 hour sleep you were on, second was letting Levi borrow your coffee in class because he stayed up too late playing games and didn't even a minute of sleep for lord knows how long, third was skipping breakfast and lunch because you forgot that you had to pay attention to the time!

Yeah luck was definitely not on your side today. 

You slapped your face as you picked up your fountain pen; a gift from Luke for quote on quote 'being the best human to have existed'. Blue ink splattering against the slightly yellow paper as you begin to write. 

But it wasn't long till you lost concentration, the hunger grew every passing minute. Annoyance started to creep up to you. Face curled into a scowl as you slammed the pen back on the desk. 

Purgatory hall had a different aura from House of Lamentation. The place you stayed at was in chaos more or less of the time. Either Lucifer hanging Mammon upside down or Asmodeus trying to bathe you in bubbling water. 

Purgatory hall was calm. Perhaps because of the people who lived here or it's just how it was but you couldn't help but be relaxed whenever you were here.

Alas, Purgatory hall was but still an unfamiliar place, no matter what you always found it hard to feel comfortable here. Which also leads you to politely reject whenever Luke, Solomon or even Simeon asked you to stay over for the night. 

Your uneasiness only got worse with the sleep deprivation and hunger, a stomach that felt like it might as well start to digest itself made you want to sob out of pure annoyance.

'Shit shit shit shit shit-' 

*clik*

You shot your head towards the door, a part of you perked up, hoping that Solomon was back from whatever emergency that occurred for the Barbatos to ask for him. Yet the hope died down when you saw the turf of brown hair from the door crack. 

Bright Teal eyes gazed on your tired figure as the body of the tanned man came to your view. Simeon smiled, and you almost felt the tiredness leave your body at the sight of the tall man's bright smile. 

By no means were you disappointed to see Simeon, why would you be? He was such a nice guy- angel but you needed help with your work and Simeon was..definitely would not be that helpful. 

Alas you waved at him, you smiled, trying to conceal your tired face as he waved back with his bright smile and almost instantly you felt like you could see a halo coming from behind him. 

"Mc! What a relief. I bumped into Solomon on my way back and he told me you were here. I hurried up thinking you might have already left." 

His boots thumped against the floor as he walked towards you. You felt the couch foam press as he took a seat behind you. 

"Oh hey Simeon…I was just waiting for Solomon to come back. I still have a few lessons I was having trouble with…" 

You shot a small smile at him, hoping he'll leave it at that because god you did not have enough strength to talk without groaning in pain. 

"Ah right…Maybe I could help?" 

Simeon asked as you pressed your lips together, feeling your stomach curl up and whatnot as you stuttered around with words. 

",,,n—o It‐'s fine m' fin I'm i mean i-l wait for solomon" 

Your stomach clinged as Simeon's smiling face changed to a look you were all too familiar with. His body shifted a bit as he came close enough so that your faces were almost touching, almost.

"Mc? Are you alright? You don't look well." 

You didn't want to worry the angel really, you'd hate to bother him because of your dumb choices. 

"NoPe i'm - fuk.." 

You threw your head back against the wall, stomach hurting just enough to make you want to get killed by Belphie again if it means for it to stop as you made a promise to yourself to never drink coffee in an empty stomach. 

"Oh dear god Mc. Did something happen? Are you perhaps hurt??" 

You mentally sigh to yourself while shaking your head, the angel; knowing him would not stop asking until you give him an answer and the thin string which held your patience would definitely not be able to handle being interrogated right now.

"orgot…igh..forgot to.eat" 

You sputtered out words randomly as Simeon finally understood what you meant. His previous worry was replaced by a slightly disappointed face as he signed.

"You also forget to breathe, Mc, what's new?" 

You sucked in a breath as you glared at the dark-skinned man from the corner of your eye. Simeon was wrong in no way but still, no one likes being reminded of their bad habits. 

"I know…." 

Simeon only signed before standing up. His cape slightly crumbled as he looked at your pained form.

"Stay here alright? I'll get something for you to eat."

"I'll be..fine- just get me some water..yeah jist— some water-" 

"Mc." 

Teal eyes glared, making you instantly shut up. Simeon's palm made contact with your slightly cold cheek as he caressed it. 

"You'll get sick at this rate. Please eat something." 

Did Simeon know he looked awfully like a kicked puppy right now? You may be stubborn but you were not heartless, no way in devildom could you reject a face like that. Dejected, you gave him a small nod. 

"Perfect! I'll get something for you" 

Your eyes turned wide like a sausage as warm lips brushed against your forehead. Simeon's eyes smiled as he left the room in a hurry. Clearly unbothered by what he had just done.

Hopefully he didn't see the apple red cheeks of yours. 

_

(I actually wrote this while I was hungry lol. Also hey!, my first request)

[ravensvirginity]

Under that panel about Dick having dreams about Raven, there was this comment trying to explain the context:

"Raven had her empathy powers going wild. So she thought she was in love with Dick. And was projecting herself in his dreams, without him knowing it was real. Basically trying to trick him into thinking he was in love with her, because she couldn't tell where her feelings ended and the feelings of those around her began"

Is this true? Raven actually consciously tried to invade Dick's dreams and trick him into thinking he was in love with her? I know the first kiss was completely unintentional, but the dreams were intentional even though she knew Dickkory was still together? That's basically cheater/homewrecker behavior. I would understand if she had the dreams herself, and then (again) accidentally gave him those dreams through empathy going haywire, basically she couldn't control it.

But then I find it strange that she didn't actually make any moves towards him in real life. Dick could only tell because of the dreams, and Kory only saw it through the look in her eyes, not through any specific interactions. And the talk with Kory later didn't mention anything about the dreams, too. Was Raven even aware that Dick was having those dreams? I have a feeling they were only talking about the kiss which Raven mistook for Dick's love for her.

What was Marv even thinking during that arc anyway? Was it an editorial suggestion or did he just have to create the drama? And it's so weird too. Raven had always been very wise and understanding in everything, even regarding things beyond the wisdom of peers her age like the misguided revenge for Terra, and then suddenly she became a selfish clueless teenage girl when it came to loving Dick?

That arc was iconic, indeed, but for all the wrong reasons to me. Raven and Kory could still have had the bonding without Dick's entanglement in it. And Dick and Raven didn't even have the chance to have a real healthy talk about it later. It's like sweeping the dust under the carpet. I prefer it if Dick himself broke the news to Raven, and himself explained his feelings for her but still assured her that he treasured her as a friend, a sister, or anything really. The forgiveness should have been from him directly, not through a third party. Raven needs to learn that, learn romantic feeling rejection the right way, not by being convinced that she only loved him as a brother. Who wants to kiss their brother like that?

The way I always read it is the dreams were unintentional and it was just her powers going a little haywire.

(NTT vol 2 #39)

I think the reason Raven is so immature in this arc is she literally has never been in love before. She's got the same amount of experience here as a 12 year old girl who has her first crush because of how long she was emotionally repressed. Less, even, because she's never really had friends before this either. The way this arc goes is definitely one of the more dramatic ways it could've gone but I think no matter what she'd be immature about it and probably make a fool of herself.

Raven being unable to distinguish platonic and romantic love makes an incredible amount of sense for her when you consider her situation. She wasn't allowed to love anyone for the first two decades of her life. She carefully repressed all of her emotions and didn't allow herself to feel anything towards anyone. Of course now that she can feel all the love that she denied herself of she's going to get confused! She has no frame of reference for the difference between how you love a family member or a friend or a lover because she's never truly had the opportunity to love anyone before.

I do think that it makes sense that the conclusion of the arc was that Raven only loves Dick like a brother. Like I said earlier, this is her first foray into letting herself feel emotions. It makes sense that she'd confuse platonic and romantic love. And also, just getting into semantics, I feel like saying you love someone like a sibling isn't saying "I literally see this person as a sibling", it's just shorthand for "I have a deep platonic love for this person". Obviously Dick isn't actually Raven's brother and the conclusion to that arc has never felt weird to me.

TL;DR: Even though Raven is an incredibly intelligent and compassionate person, she actually has very little emotional intelligence because of spending the majority of her life incredibly emotionally repressed.

[pluraladvice]

hello, host of a fairly newly discovered system of 10+, our story is very long but basically our co-host, in a panic and while dealing with identity issues of their own as the oldest alter (formed at age 6, and even then we're not sure if they were around earlier than that), kept me separated from the others for basically all of our lives until this year; Life Happened™ and the "curtains fell" as we like to call it, so we've had to learn how to communicate from basically 0. it's been very grueling, and some days are better than others, but we've managed somehow. getting a proper diagnosis is tremendously hard and expensive in a third-world country like ours, but we're working as fast as we can to get one.

with context out of the way... we would like some advice/positivity. a few days ago we came out to a friend who too is a system; things got taken out of context, and we weren't allowed to explain many details... so we were met with disgust, anger and rejection. i personally understand that they have been badly hurt in the past with people faking being a system, but it was never our intention to harm them. i didn't make our situation known sooner, and that i will accept as a mistake. needless to say we're now hated, and many hurtful things were said towards us (aside from them talking about us behind our backs to my irl best friend, who immediately told us what happened), mainly myself and our co-host, who has gone missing and we fear that they might've gone dormant out of reignited trauma they hold. i guess my question is... is this all there is for us? just because the realization dawned at an adult bodily age, rather than during childhood like them? is my trauma not enough? are our individual struggles, issues and sets of trauma not enough, nor real? sorry if this makes no sense, many of us are struggling in diverse ways regarding this situation, and i, as a host, feel like i am just faking it more than ever.

-🌙 (proofreading done by ❄ and 🐻)

If someone is making you feel this way they're not a very good friend. On top of that MOST people don't discover they're a system until early adulthood and later adulthood. Discovering your a system in your childhood, especially younger years, while not impossible nor unheard of, is not the norm and is pretty rare. The time in which you discover your systemhood doesn't make you a faker, nothing except faking being a system makes you a faker. The only way to be a faker is to consciously take steps and make efforts to fake being a system. Otherwise? You're just a system with a lot of self questioning and self doubt. Which is also completely normal for systems. Even systems that aren't online and don't interact with a lot of space that have people claiming what is and is not fake will have self doubt on their own system hood. Simply put, that is a part of being a system. We discovered our system in are late 20s. Some systems discover themselves in their 30s. Or 40s. There was an older man with a wife and kids in his 50s on a sub reddit for systems that had JUST discovered he was a system. In his 50s. The age at which you discover your system plays no part in whether or not you are a system. Again. You can only fake being a system if you are faking being a system. If you are not putting in conscious effort and steps to fake being a system. Then you aren't faking being a system. That's it. That's all there is to it. And that person and other people do not get to decide for you that you are. You decide that. You are the one that knows, not them.

[littleslavediary]

Daddy apologized and then hit me harder than ever

Daddy left for work and texted me a long message while I was sleeping. He apologized for "being too hard on me lately" and "letting Domination go to his head". He also said it wasn't right for him to demand that I never "argue" or "talk back".

When he came home from work we had a good evening for a while. After making love, we were cuddling. He asked me to verbally worship him in a cutesy e-girl voice. This was my first fuck-up. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I don't know why. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just felt too embarrassed and my mind went blank. I really wanted to, but I couldn't

I remember one time I was voice chatting with a different Dom and he demanded for me to slap myself. Even though it was contextually appropriate I refused to do it. I guess that Dom just hadn't earned my respect. He tried for a while and I wanted to do it but couldn't bring myself to. There wasn't enough consequences for refusing. He had no power over me. Daddy and I were online for three years. The first time he demanded I slap myself, I did it immediately, no questions asked. Daddy is the smartest most handsome man I have ever met. If I had refused he might have withdrawn his attention from me (one of the only things he could punish me with over the distance) which was devastating.

Overtime he asked me to do and say more and more humiliating and physically demanding things over video chat. If I hesitated, he would instruct me to punish myself with clothespins. The truth is I am extremely aroused when humiliated but non-consent is integral to my ability to perform well. Without the threat of punishment, I find it impossible to push myself to say or do things that are deeply uncomfortable. Punishment sets me free. It allows me to stop over thinking and just do.

Later last night I was cooking dinner and Daddy walked up to me in the kitchen. I was distracted (thinking about what I needed to get out of the fridge to put together a sauce). When he said something like, "I want to show you a video of what / how I would've liked to to talk to me earlier." This sentence I completely did not pay attention to or process. All I hear was "I wanted you to talk." Daddy has a sexy Hebrew accent which makes it harder to understand sometimes also.

We had just gotten off a video call with his Grandfather so at first I thought he was talking about that. I said, "I thought you said you wanted to do all the talking."

Rightfully so, he was confused and angered by this statement. He said he wanted to show me something very intimate and vulnerable about himself, but my reaction was so dismissive and disrespectful. He left the kitchen and went to the living room.

He continued to verbally berate me and become angrier. I realized that I misunderstood him and tried to explain it to him. My third big fuck-up was not apologizing right then and there for not listening to him, which caused the misunderstanding.

He yelled, "You thought I was talking about my Grandfather when I was trying to show you something sexual? What the fuck is wrong with you? You are sick!"

I finished cooking dinner and brought him a plate of food. I sat next to him and he was clearly enraged again at this point.

I tried to make excuses. I said I was distracted by cooking and wasn't listening when he first walked up to me with the phone. This (rightfully so) made him angrier because I didn't apologize for not listening. Instead, I tried to justify it.

Then I tried saying, "Maybe you should have picked a better time to show me something so important and vulnerable."

My Daddy, with his amber eyes and black hair, was glaring at me then with a look that could kill. He rejected my excuse and eventually got more angry at me for going silent.

I said, "Look, when you get this angry at me my mind goes blank. I can't speak when you are very angry."

Daddy said, his voice and anger level rising, "You think this is very angry? You haven't ever seen me very angry. Do you want to see me very fucking angry?"

He then grabbed my hair and violently yanked my head around. He yelled, "I'll show you 'very angry'!"

He pulled my head down until I was laying on the couch underneath him. He slapped me across the face, with (I think) the most force he could muster. He yanked me around by the hair again, and hit me as hard as he could again. Then he released my hair and left me dazed laying down on the couch.

Finally, I realized my mistakes. I laid there for a while, but eventually I sat up and said to him, "I'm sorry for not listening to you when you first started talking to me."

I should have added that the misunderstanding was my fault. That all of this was my fault. That ruining his mood and the evening was all my fault. But I was feeling so defensive and it was really hard to swallow my pride and apologize at all. Which is why my apology didn't work.

"No. You are right. I should have 'picked a better time'," he sneered.

I was still feeling defensive. I still couldn't swallow my pride and beg for his forgiveness the way he deserved. I wish Daddy had tied me up and really hurt me for this. I don't like pain, but I need the threat of punishment to be very real so I can swallow my pride. This is harder, but the alternative isn't fair for him because it hurts his self-esteem when he has to punish me into treating him right.

I went to the other room and he followed me a few minutes later. I learned to not get on my phone because when I leave after a fight, he always follows shortly after and doesn't like to see me on my phone. Which is also good for me because I should be thinking through my emotions instead of avoiding them with distractions.

He came to our bedroom and I was happy that I hadn't given in to the urge to look at my phone. I was just sitting on the bed. Eventually, Daddy got me to better realize my mistakes and more sincerely apologize. But I said I wasn't hungry and didn't want to come back to the living room yet. I was feeling sick to my stomach after being hit so hard.

He called for me from the other room a few minutes later. He said the food I made was really good and I should eat. I finally got up and went back to the living room. He met me in the kitchen (thinking I would not come) and he was crying. He said he was sorry over and over, and that he shouldn't get so mad at a baby.

I was crying too and finally felt like I could really say how sorry I was for how much I fucked up. I really want Daddy to hurt, discipline and train me more so I stop fucking up so badly. I know he wants me to do as he asks without having to threaten him, because I love him so much, but threats help me push through these emotional boundaries that cause my mind to go blank or become defensive.

I deserve so much more punishment. But Daddy still doesn't have the confidence to hurt me. He is worried about being too abusive. He really is so much smarter than me and so much more socially experienced. I grew up very isolated with limited social interaction, and didn't get to practice disagreeing with others much. That's why I am a Little still. I can't even put into words how much I love, appreciate, and respect Daddy. I trust that he cares about me, that he is doing what he thinks is best for me. He is so good for me and has improved me in every way ever since we started talking. I really don't deserve a Daddy so good, patient and loving.

[folliesandfolderols]

Writing prompts day 130

From this prompt list. If you’ve read this far, I’m not sure you need any explanation, but the short version is I hadn’t written any fiction since 2019, I set a goal to write at least 150 words/day in 2024, and this list was my way to restart. Also I abruptly decided on day 2 I would write an entire Tim/Damian story connecting all the prompts, because I am Good at Judging My Limits. /sarcasm Anyway, I finished the rough draft a while ago and am now unlocking the old entries as I edit.

Read from the beginning here, or on ao3 here.

Days 126-129 here

***

6. “Gonna fuck you until the only word you remember is my name.”

10. “Wanna see how you look when you come undone under me.”

23. “You’re taking me so well, baby.”

49. “All yours. Only yours.”

57. “Look at your reflection. Look at how gorgeous you are. So fucking gorgeous when I’m fucking you like this. So pretty for me, and only for me.”

72. “God, you feel so good around me.”

100. "Tell me if it hurts, okay?"

117. “Tell me if it becomes too much, okay?” “Okay.”

125. “You look so cute like this, you know?” “Shut the fuck up and just fuck me already.”

***

straight into the nsfw under the cut

He couldn’t stop himself from rocking into Damian’s hip, pressing his erection against the slippery skin. “I can, right? Tell me you meant it.”

Damian nodded, keeping his face buried in the bedsheet. His voice came out muffled but easy enough to understand. "I meant it." He made a loose-limbed grab for Tim's clean hand, currently halfway under Damian's chest. "Want you inside me."

Tim's chest was going to crack in two, broken halves spilling love through his entire self, but he'd been given an assignment.

He hesitated. "Can I . . . can I kiss you first?"

Too late, he remembered what he'd just been kissing and winced in anticipatory rejection, but Damian rotated his body with uncustomary clumsiness to press their mouths together. He kissed Tim with graceless eagerness, hands clutching at his body every place he could reach, indecisive with desire.

Tim dug his nails into Damian's side, anchoring himself. "God, you're so fucking hot. I nearly came when you did."

Damian let his head fall back, revealing bleary eyes and reddened cheeks. "I'm glad you didn't." His hair pointed in every direction. He looked like he'd been caught in a tornado. Tim couldn't fully repress his smile at the sight. 

Damian noticed, of course. "What?"

"You look so cute like this, you know?" A word that one-year-ago Tim could never have imagined applying to Damian, but one that he found himself using in the privacy of his brain more and more often these days.

Damian scowled, but his words held no heat. "Just shut the fuck up and fuck me already."

"Yessir."

Damian twitched in response to Tim's teasing. Oh, right. Tim had noticed that before and not yet followed through. He made an appointment on his mental calendar to explore that particular response at a later date.

He noticed the mess all over Damian's stomach on his way back down--the sheets could only absorb so much. "Oh yeah. I told you what I'd do if I got the chance next time." Ducking, he licked a long streak up from pelvis to ribs, then did it again. Damian craned his neck to watch. One graceful hand moved to comb through Tim's hair as he worked his way from one side of Damian's torso to the other. Tim couldn't help but feel he was being rewarded for good behavior like one of Damian's pets, but he was okay with it.

Sitting up again, he got the lube and a condom from his nightstand. He re-slicked his fingers, then poured a little out directly on Damian's entrance just to be sure. Two fingers still slipped inside without any trouble. Mindful of overstimulating him, Tim avoided his prostate and concentrated more on making a third finger fit as he moved his hand. Now that Damian had finally allowed him his chance, there was no way he was going to fuck it up.

Damian hummed in contentment, muscles lax even as he pressed back into Tim's touch with unhurried undulations of his hips. In the closet door mirrors, Tim could see his cock hardening once more. Good. Even though his own erection ached for attention, Tim wanted this to be as good as possible for Damian.

Damian met his gaze in their reflection. "I've barely touched you so far," he said, the statement holding the air of a complaint.

Tim grinned, and couldn't help but notice the line of his mouth cut a little with Robin's sharp edge. "Not with your hands, anyway. Don't worry, you're about to touch a whole lot. I'm dying to see how you look when you come undone under me. Or on top of me, or whatever. Actually . . ." He scooted down on his side behind Damian, propped up on his free arm. "Would this be okay?"

Damian leaned back into him. "Better than okay."

"All right." Tim eased his hand out, kissing Damian's temple when he grimaced at the sensation. "I know, it's not as fun as the other direction. Here, let me—" He pulled Damian's top leg up until it rested at a 90-degree angle to the lower one. "That's better."

"Are you finished positioning me like a Ken doll?" Damian asked. The question couldn't quite hide the nervousness that flashed across his face and faded just as fast. “I'm tired of waiting."

Tim rolled the condom on and then spread more lube over his cock, moaning in relief as it finally got some stimulation. "Fuck." He aimed, remembered he always needed to aim lower than he thought, and repositioned himself so he was pressed against Damian's hole. "Hey, Damian?"

Damian reached back and dug his fingertips into Tim's hip. "What?"

He was going to hate this, but Tim was pretty sure he'd only been on the receiving end once before so there were things that had to be said explicitly. "I'm gonna fuck you until the only word you remember is my name, but first, you have to promise me. Tell me if it hurts or becomes too much, okay?"

Damian didn't like being required to reveal even hypothetical weakness, but after a long moment, he nodded. "Okay."

Tim kissed the curve of his ear. "Good boy." And he pushed forward.

Damian's body opened up to him like a dream. Tim had barely gotten the head inside before he had to pause, heaving in deep breaths like a man rescued from drowning. It had been a long time since he'd topped and he'd sort of forgotten how overwhelming it could be.

"Ooh, fuck," he gritted out. "God, you feel so good around me. I'm gonna die."

"Don't you dare die before you make me come again," Damian retorted, grabbing Tim's top hand and pulling it to his own cock. "You have a responsibility now."

Tim worked another inch deeper, trembling all over and too turned on to care. "Don't worry, I've got you—you're taking me so well, Dami, oh my God." He distracted himself from his body screaming at him to let it come by giving Damian's erection a couple of strokes. It spilled precome all over his fingers as the muscles holding his own dick fast suddenly gave. He slid home with a shout he stifled against Damian's shoulder.

As soon as his hips sat flush against Damian's ass, Damian went limp. Worried, Tim checked his reflection, but all he saw was Damian at his most receptive, eyes slitted nearly shut, mouth open on a breathy moan. Tim concentrated on getting his hand and hips working in tandem. Once he had his rhythm, he nudged Damian's arm with his chin.

"Look at your reflection." Damian did as he was told. Red crept up his chest toward his neck while Tim watched. "Look at how gorgeous you are," he crooned, kissing whatever warm brown skin his mouth could reach. "So fucking gorgeous when I'm fucking you like this. So pretty for me." He pulled almost all the way out and then pushed back in with more force than he'd been using. Damian groaned. "And only for me."

"Because you're mine," Damian said, rough-voiced and broken. 

The thing in Tim's chest that longed to be possessed glowed with satisfaction, given its due. “That's right. I'm all yours. Only yours.” He thrust harder and stroked Damian's cock faster, tightening his grip enough for Damian to push into it. Damian cried out in response.

"You gonna come for me, sweetheart?" Tim barely recognized his own voice, distorted with a heady mix of love and arousal. "Are you gonna show me how much you love it when I fuck you into my mattress? Come on, give it to me, wanna see you lose it right here while I'm balls deep inside of you."

"Tim—Timothy please—" Damian begged, face twisted and vulnerable, and hearing his name in that pleading tone was too much. Tim's orgasm blazed through every cell of his body.

day 131 here