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adorethedistance · 3 years ago

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Distraction - Alex Turcotte x Reader High School!AU

Hockey Masterlist

Warnings: Swearing

Words: 1544

Summary: Alex Turcotte is utterly smitten with the girl from his history class and his teammates are not helpful when it comes to playing wingmen.

A/n: Hey y’all I don’t even simp for this mf tbh but alas I’ve written a tiny little blurb about him. I think this’ll be the first hockey fic I have that’s about an American lmao. this piece kinda sucks but I wanted to post something for y’all bc I’m having a very minor block rn.

Alex Turcotte had never fallen for anyone in his life.

“Girls are a distraction from making pro,” he claims.

And he was right: Y/n Y/l/n was a total distraction.

Each and every day his mind is consumed by her. One moment, it's her pensive face in art class, the next, her laugh in the halls, or her casual tone as she explains something to him in history.

At the beginning of the school year, he didn’t know her very well, but when his history teacher had assigned Alex, Y/n, and her best friend to share a desk, he’d picked up on a few things as the months went by. The first thing he’d learned was how many people lived in her household from the chaos she woke up to for the first day of school. The second, how many hours of sleep she gets on average, based on how often she’d slump down into her seat with the declaration that she was “exhausted”. Next, how much Y/n and her friend love movies, her because she enjoys analysis of filmmaking, and her friend because she’s a crier. Once October arrived, he learned her favorite hockey team and how well they’d been performing last year (granted, he already knew how they were doing, but it was different from her). And most recently, he’d learned that she worked in the Hollister at the primary mall kids would flee to at the sound of the dismissal bell; he’d accidentally on purpose used this information to stalk her on more than one occasion.

Trying to focus on drills during practice, he would only ever be able to focus on the way they had brushed hands when reaching for papers, or how she’d smiled at him if he’d asked an intentionally stupid question. Each tiny little detail about her, no matter how insignificant, would sit at the forefront of his mind for days on end. It was very annoying.

And on top of that, Alex wasn’t nearly as slick as he believed himself to be. It didn’t take long for all his friends to realize he was becoming completely useless, and it took them an even shorter amount of time to realize why. The endless heart-eyes and random questions that were extremely out of character for their friend, like ‘you guys want to go to hollister later?’. Alex Turcotte was blatantly and utterly lovesick.

However, his friends had yet to figure out who with. That is, until everyone was let out for lunch one fateful November afternoon.

“Dude, just tell us who it is, we’re gonna find out eventually!” The usually easy going and agreeable Cole Caufield pesters his friend as they talk over the chatter of Plymouth High’s cafeteria during lunch time.

“Don’t worry about it.” Alex’s closed off-ness as of late isn’t cutting it with his boys; Trevor decides to shoulder check him just ‘cause. The dark-haired, hopeless simp turns to his friend, offended, but smiling regardless. The abrupt action escalates and the two begin roughhousing on the cool plastic of the lunch table benches. In the flurry of grabbing and shoving and messing up of hair, Moynihan intervenes to grab their attention,

“Ay, yo, Turcs.” They both turn their attention to their friend, and Alex feels his mouth run dry as he recognizes the heather grey hoodie with their school logo on the front. Y/n Y/l/n stands casually in front of the boys of team USA with a disinterested expression. Alex is quick to break out of his trance and immediately focuses all his attention on the shorter girl in front of him.

“Hey, Y/n. What’s up?” Alex asks in a much higher voice register than he intended, which doesn’t go unnoticed by his teammates; they all begin exchanging mischievous and smug looks, unbeknownst to Alex.

“I still have your pen. From history,” she says coolly as she fishes the item out of her sweatshirt pocket. Before she can extend the pen to him, Alex jumps to contest the gesture.

“You can keep it if you want.”

“That’s okay-”

“You sure? I really don’t mind.” The kind sparkle in his dark eyes plus his eager tone almost makes Y/n hesitate, but she shakes the idea and hands it to him anyway.

“It’s not that good of a pen.” At Y/n’s statement, Cole begins cackling and she merely stares at him, confused. Alex can practically feel a cold sweat and looming terror overtake his body at the realization that Cole, among his other teammates, have caught on to his little crush. Busted.

Alex looks back at the blasé girl before him, and takes the gel pen from her outstretched right hand, doing so less than inconspicuously. He brushes fingertips with her, despite her hand being at the opposite end of the pen. She nods an uncomfortable and indifferent goodbye at the awkward exchange, and turns on her heel to go have lunch with her own friend group. It isn’t until her figure disappears into the crowd that Alex is broken out of his trance by the sounds of his teammates dying with laughter.

“Oh, hey Y/n. What’s up?” Trevor impersonates Alex talking in his higher register at which Cole immediately joins in.

“Oh, hey Alex. I have your shitty pen that you threw at me in history,” he responds, pretending to be a version of Y/n that would only ever exist in Alex’s head.

“No, keep it, Y/n. Let it be a symbol of our love.”

“Oh, Alex, you're so romantic!” Trevor and Cole, in unintentional synchronization, lean in as if they’re about to kiss before breaking character and joining their teammates in a laughter harder than conceivably possible.

“Fuck off.”

“I guess we don’t have to go all mission impossible after all,” Jack sighs through a few stray tears of laughter. Alex gives him a pointed look and Jack can’t help but laugh a bit more before asking, “Seriously though?”

“What?”

“Y/n Y/l/n?”

“What about her?”

“It’s never gonna happen.” Jack shatters Alex’s dreams of romance in a single statement. His face falters slightly before he feigns some confidence by asking,

“Why not?” The laughter that had just died picks up again with a few scattered giggles around the table. Moynihan, being the only one who is no longer laughing, interjects,

“Why not? Did you not see any of that conversation? She could be less impressed with you.”

“Isn’t she kind of a bitch?” Someone asks.

“No, that's Y/n Domiento, not Y/n Y/l/n.” Another person replies in gentle defence. At the mention of her name, Alex’s attention centers on the sidebar he recognizes to be Cam York and Spencer Knight.

“I mean, she’s kind of a bitch too sometimes.”

“Okay enough!” Alex yells over all the chatter of his friends. “No more talking about her.”

“Why? Are you worried she’ll hear?”

“Is it because you’re in love with her?”

“Shut up, all of you.”

“Turcs. How long have you liked her?” Spencer asks sympathetically, without a shred of laughter in his voice. The dark-haired boy ponders the question for a minute before shrugging without a definitive answer. The considerate goalie gives Alex an unamused look to which his friend doesn’t understand. “Go talk to her. Right now.”

“What? No.”

“Do it right now,” Spencer pushes.

“No.”

“Go ask her out or I’ll do it.” Alex’s heart beats a little faster at the thought of all the terrible ways in which his friend could reveal his crush, and before he has a chance to think twice, he’s pushing up out of his seat and marching after the impassive girl.

Once he reaches the edge of her table, the conversation she’d been having with her friends came to a sudden halt. They all look at him bewildered, regardless of whether or not they had ever shared a class with him. Alex stands frozen to his post for a solid few seconds after realizing that he has no game plan.

“Uhm, hey Alex,” Y/n’s most outgoing friend greets him with confusion.

“Hey. Uh, Y/n, could I talk to you for a sec?” The impervious girl glances at her friends as a silent request for permission. When they nod softly and offer a few looks suggesting ‘why not?’, she stands from her seat, tucking her hands into the front pocket of her heather-grey sweatshirt donning the school’s mascot and name on the front.

“What’s up?” She asks nonchalantly after they’ve created a decent enough distance from her table of friends. If it weren’t for the tight feeling in his chest, Alex might have laughed at the contrast of how anxious he is and how relaxed his crush is.

“So… uh.” There’s no game plan, is it even possible to try and play it cool at this time? “I think you’re really cute and I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date?” Alex says so quickly, it takes Y/n a second to process what the hell he had even said. She blinks once, then twice before allowing herself to smile politely.

“Sure.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Turcs,” She pokes fun at his team nickname, “Sounds like fun.”

***

#NHL imagine #NHL hockey #NHL x reader #Alex Turcotte #Alex Turcotte fanfiction #Alex Turcotte fanfic #Alex Turcotte fic #Alex Turcotte writing #Alex Turcotte imagine #Alex Turcotte one shot #Alex Turcotte oneshot #Alex Turcotte fluff #Alex Turcotte smut #Alex Turcotte angst #Alex Turcotte x reader #Alex Turcotte x y/n

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carnationcreation · 4 years ago

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Hey there, I love you and your work so so much!!

I was wondering if you could write a Mighty Ducks imagine, about your favorite duck-i just low key wanna know who your favorite is- that is set in the second movie where the reader is new to the team and it kinda starts off as them not liking each other to them kissing? If you need any more ideas I’d be happy to help!!

TITLE: Pride (Adam Banks x reader)

✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

Request: Hey there, I love you and your work so so much!!I was wondering if you could write a Mighty Ducks imagine, about your favorite duck-i just low key wanna know who your favorite is- that is set in the second movie where the reader is new to the team and it kinda starts off as them not liking each other to them kissing? If you need any more ideas I’d be happy to help!!

Prompt/summary: Adam finally has to admit to his pride after he’s injured.

Word Count: 1,298

Authors note: Set in D2! Also I had such a hard time picking cause I love Charlie, Adam, and Luis but I decided to go with my first boy crush from the films! For the vibes listen to Take Yours by Matthew Mole it’s so cute!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My laces were tied so tight I could feel the pressure right on top of my foot as I charged Julie in the goal, she barely caught the puck from my slapshot to the top right corner.

“Ugh, almost had it,” I groaned.

“Maybe one day (Y/l/n),” Julie said. I couldn’t see her face because of the goalie mask but I’m sure she had a shit-eating grin on.

I never thought I would make it here, representing my state for the US youth hockey team for the Junior Olympics. The day I got the call I almost passed out from the excitement and anxiety, and today I almost puked getting out of bed as I thought about how I needed to be on my best game if I wanted to make a good impression on the team I would be joining.

I saw the whole team walk in, the green jersey was almost a threat. Something I could join but never truly be a part of. I felt that anxiety build up again when I saw they were watching me as I skated down the ice.

Tibbles began to introduce each of us giving us a chance to show off our best skill.

Julie went first, her speed and accuracy in goal made her a vital member to the team. If we were going to stand a chance against Iceland then we needed her.

“And that’s (Y/n) (Y/l/n), everyone calls her Sharpshooter though.”

“Why’s that?” Bombay asked.

“Just watch,” Tibbles nodded, “She’s the only person that’s been able to score on Gaffney.”

My heart raced as I skated quickly up to the goal, aiming on Julie’s stick side, right in the corner I knew she was weakest on.

“Cheap shot (Y/l/n)!” she yelled causing me to laugh as I threw my arms up in victory.

Tibbles waved me over.

“So what makes you so important?” Bombay asked me, “We have about 3 sharpshooters on my team. Why do we need you?”

I stood there in shock, not able to respond as I racked my brain for an answer, “I- well have any of your boys managed to score on Gaffney yet?”

“No, but they will be able to.”

“After how long? I’ve known Gaffney for maybe 30 minutes and I’m already scoring. From what I can tell your boys rely mostly on strength, put anyone up against me and I can show you how accurate I am.”

Bombay smirked, “I like this kid.”

I couldn’t help but smile as Tibbles let me skate back over to Gaffney.

“Look at the boys,” she smirked.

I gave her a confused look.

“Attractive, presumably single hockey players? Might be able to get ourselves a date.”

“Oh shut up,” I shoved her shoulder, “We should be thinking about Hockey, not getting some stupid guys to go out with us. Besides, dating a teammate would just be... weird.”

Julie rolled her eyes, “Oh whatever.”

I laughed and gave the team one final look. My eyes fell on two boys standing near the edge of the group, I assumed one, if not both, was the captain.

“Who’re those boys? Near the edge?”

Julie smirked, “Conway and Banks. The two star players.”

“Oh.”

“Who do you think is cuter?”

I swallowed hard, “Honestly hard to tell. They both give off different vibes.”

“I thought you said dating a teammate would be ‘weird’“ Julie laughed.

“Listen,” I smiled, “I can look at the menu, I just won’t order.”

Julie let out a cackle and skated away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The tension between the groups finally bubbled over and I was swept in by someone insulting Julie.

“She’s a lot better than you bus boy!” I yelled in the other goalies face.

“I’d block any of your shots any day (Y/l/n)!” he said.

“Wanna test that theory?” I said, apparently I had this fiery look in my eyes cause when Julie pulled me back I saw how terrified the goalie looked causing me to laugh.

Banks skated over, “You really think you’re hot shit huh?”

“Oh please,” I scoffed, “I know I’m hot shit. How many state titles have you one pretty boy?”

I mentally slapped myself. Pretty boy? Really? Best you could come up with?

Adam smirked, “I’d take you on anytime princess.”

“Bring it on.”

Eventually Bombay broke us all apart.

“Now we didn’t come here to fight! We came to play Hockey. We’re team USA. You represent your country!”

Julie and I giggled at the looks on the players faces.

Adam turned to me, “SHH!”

I rolled my eyes in return.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the first practice we all seemed to get along better. The girls all went out shopping together on the weekends leading to us getting close quick. Adam and I had a competition going of who could make the best trick shot, which Julie kept saying was ‘tension’.

We finally made it to our game against Germany. The summer had seemed to go by in an instant and I knew after the championship I would have to be bussed right back home to Boringtown USA.

I walked into the locker room after workouts, I stayed afterwards to work on my shot more. I turned the corner and saw Adam wrapping his wrist up, he winced.

“Adam?”

He jumped and looked up, “It’s not- (Y/n) don’t you dare tell coach.”

“What’d you do?”

Adam sighed, “In the last game, the dude that hooked my wrist with his stick. It’s just a little sore I promise-”

“Adam,” I said gently grabbing hist wrist to examine it, “You might’ve sprained it. If you keep playing on it it could get worse, you might not be able to play anymore.”

“It’s fine. I’ll get it checked out after the seasons over with.”

“That’s self destructive. You can’t set aside your pride for a minute just to get it looked at?” I knew to get him to see how ridiculous he was being I’d have to rile him up a little.

He scoffed, “I’m prideful? Have you even looked at yourself sharpshooter? You think you’re better than everyone and-”

“Adam this isn’t about me, or even you. It’s about the team. And if you have to get benched for longer than necessary just because you ignored an injury than that’s gonna be the whole teams problem.”

Adam sighed, “Fine. But I better not hear a word from you about it.”

“And on the topic of me being better than everyone, I’ve never thought that. I just didn’t feel like I fit in.”

“What are you talking about?” he said, “You fit in fine. You’re just constantly pushing yourself to where everyone feels like you’re full of it. A lot of people are jealous.”

“Jealous?” I cocked my head to the side.

“Yeah.”

I looked at him confused, “Of what?”

“Just- you’re constantly finding things to improve. You’re just the person who doesn’t realize just how good you are sometimes. To the point where it’s almost annoying. Yeah it’s like you think you’re better but at the same time you’re never the best. And it’s infuriating when all I can think about in practice is impressing you-”

“Impressing me?” I smile.

“I- uh. Yes. Impressing you.”

“Adam,” I chuckle, “Everyone on this team thinks you’re amazing. Myself included.”

“Amazing?”

“Yeah,” I chuckle.

He stands up and walks over to stand in front of me, I look up into those bright blue eyes I could never seem to avoid. I gently grab his wrist, “Let’s go get this checked out by the trainer okay?”

“Okay,” he says as I started to lead him down the hallway, “And (Y/n)?”

I turned back to him.

He quickly leaned forward to press a quick kiss on my lips, “I think you’re pretty amazing too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*If you signed up for my taglist but don’t see your name please message me!

Taglist: @thebookwormlife @talksoprettyjjx @coolreallyfuzzystudentuniverse @igotabadfeelingabouteverything @larrystylinson-sus @lovesanimals @aunicornmademedoit @thexhotmess @ssprayberrythings @registerednursejackie @nicolewithasoul @homealone200 @hemmingsness @persephonequeenofthedead @bookfrog242 @julieandthephantomsblogduh @fangirling-allday @drxgxnslxyer @schnapp-my-neck @blue21727

#the mighty ducks #the mighty ducks imagine #TMD imagine #Adam Banks #adam banks imagine #adam banks x reader #disney #disney imagine

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uwuwriting · 4 years ago

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How they propose w/ Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Kuroo

Request: Oikawa, kuro and iwa proposing to their long term girlfriend??? -anonymous

Hi it’s me back again. *if anyone knows from which song this is I’m gonna give them a cookie no cap*. I’m back with another one and this one is just the cutest thing ever. Oikawas’ is a little dumb and goofy but I believe he would do something like that. Love ya. 💖💖💖

masterlist

rules

warning: fluff and some dorkiness.

Oikawa Toru

-Okay so he is obsessed with tik tok....and his proposal kinda made it on tik tok.

-Its a nice cutesy proposal I swear he’s just overly proud of himself.

-You had just moved in with him in Argentina.

-Somehow you managed to get a job in your field in the town next to his place so when you told him that well you were moving to Argentina he didn’t hesitate to ask you to move in with him.

-He misses you way too much, the distance makes it hard for him to feel your comfort.

-He would never dream of breaking up with you; he would make it work even if it killed him.

-So it’s been a month and a half of living together and he is in heaven.

-He knew that he wanted to marry you for some time now.

-Since that moment at the airport the day he was leaving.

-Iwaizumi was there along side Matsu and Hanamaki.

-The three dumbasses were bawling their eyes out while you were semi chocking him.

- “Call me when you land okay? I wanna know how jet lagged you feel.”

-The sad smile on your face was enough to make him spill them tears, a sad smile of his own taking its seat on his face.

- “You’ll make fun of me again.”

- “It’s part of my duties as your girlfriend you beautiful dumbass.”

-And right there with you hands on either of his cheeks and tears in your eyes he knew that he would wife you up.

-Now he has been planning this for some time.

-He went all the way to California to find Iwa so they could pick a ring together.

-Both of them needed a ring but anyways.

-After obtaining the ring....he hid it for a few weeks.

-He would wake up everyday ten minutes earlier than usual and just ask you to marry him while you were still asleep.

-Once he was satisfied with the amount of times he has said it he gets up and is out the door.

-He took you to meet his team.

-he wanted to do it then but he chickened out.

-So what does he do?

-He sulks on tik tok.

-Until he comes across a video of a girl stepping into the shower with her boyfriend and pretends that she wants to ask him something important.

-Of course that was a very dumb way to ask you something so big but he got an adrenaline jump and five minutes of dumb courage.

-He sets up his phone right outside the shower curtain and just walks in with you.

- “Hi?!”

- “Hi”

-*giggles* “Can I help you mister?”

-And here is where things take a turn because doubts start to make their way into his head and his palms are getting sweaty-

- “Toru love are you alright?”

- “Marry me.”

-The video went viral, the squad clowned him until your first child was born and your kids laugh with the story till this day.

Iwaizumi Hajime

-Unlike his best friend he took this wayyyy to chill.

-It popped up in his head one night before one of your visits.

-His roommate had asked him why he stayed in a long distance relationship.

- “Is she really so worth it man? You could have a chick in your bed every night and not wait for her visits every three months.”

- “You cannot imagine how worth it she is.”

- “You sound like you wanna marry her dude.”

-And from that point on he couldn’t get it out of his head.

-Sure he had imagined your future before.

-The house you’ll have and where he would like to go on your honeymoon, what your kids might look like and what kind of mom you would be.

-But all of it was pure speculation.

-He just wanted to see how it would feel to be so domestic.

-So here he is almost a whole year after that night, choosing a ring along side Oikawa.

-This dumbass had taken the decision to get married too quickly and had called Iwa very VERY panicky and in need of some comfort.

-They both picked their respective rings and hid the velvety boxes deep in their pockets, the two best friends saying their goodbyes and heading off to their missions.

-Now Iwa wanted this to be as lass forced and too thought out as possible.

-He believes that these things are best done in privacy and only netween the two partners.

-So he doesn’t plan anything out.

-He waits for the moment when it feels right.

-And that’s why it took him over a year to actually ask you.

-Of course it wasn’t such an improptu move like Oikawas’, he was a little less tik tok-y???

-You had ordered tak out and were eating in your shared apartment.

-After graduation you got transferred to the USA and were placed near Iwa so now just like Oikawa you lived together.

-It has been a nice calm year of just domesticated fluff.

-You were telling him about your day, how one of your co-workers ate your boss’s pretchel and they flipped.

-Or how you saw a dog dressed as a hotdog right next to a hotdog stand.

-And that’s when he just drops the bomb.

-He has been keeping the small velevt box in his pocket ever since he bought it.

-Wordlessly standing up he makes his way to your side of the table and drops to one knee.

- “I’m pretty sure you know already that I believe you are my soulmate. My other half and I couldn’t begin to imagine my life without you in it. Not even a month without you. That being said, it would make me the happiest man in the world if you would give me the honor of calling you Ms. Iwaizumi. For the rest of our lives; until we are old and wrinkly with our family running around us. Y/N L/N, will you marry me?”

-You were crying at this point, nodding your head since the moment he called you his other half.

-Of course you said yes and some bomb sex followed.

-Oikawa and his now wife, were so happy to hear that Iwa finally gathered the courage to ask you.

Kuroo Tetsuro

-Baby!!!!

-He may be nasty but he is my og husband.

-Actually my second og husband.

-The first one is Akaashi.

-He bought the ring the same day he decided to ask you.

-He had been in a meeting and he was bored out of his mind so he texted you.

-You two started off by making fun of each other and ended up playing one of those dumb facebook games.

-He was letting out small giggles here and there which mind you were barely audible but the guy next to him heard them alrtight.

- “Talking with the missus eh?”

-Kuroo couldn’t control himself when he answered.

- “Yeah.”

-His coworker let out a chuckle at the sight of Kuroo’s face of surprise at his own words.

- “It was about time you wifed her. You two are so in love it almost makes me jealous.”

- “Jealous that you don’t have a beating heart Kai?”

-He got slapped....moving on.

-So with that he called you once the meeting was over and informed you of his plans for tonight.

- “Get dressed baby I’m taking you out for dinner tonight.”

- “What’s the occassion mister?”

- “It’s something special. Be ready by 9 I’ll pick you up from our apartment. Oh and could you please wear that gorgeous red dress of yours?”

- “The satin one? The one I can’t wear a bra with?”

- “You without a bra is just a bonus baby.”

- “You are a horny idiot Tetsu.”

-Now he was out on a mission.

-The mission of the ring.

-So he needed to call on the fellowship.

-Thirty minutes later Kenma, Yaku and Daichi were waiting for him at the local Starbucks.

-Alas the fellowship of the ring.

-These four idiots could barely agree on a single thing.

-Gave the shopkeepers a headache.

-But finally FINALLY they decided on one.

-Patting their friend on the back they were off, hoping that you would say yes.

-Apart from Kenma who prayed to the rain gods that you finally open your eyes and see what you are dating.

-While at the restaurant he was quieter than usual.

-He would let you talk and talk and talk about everything and anything with giving you only small nods or hums.

-He was so caught up in his head that he couldn’t see th worry in your eyes.

- “Tetsu, is everything okay? “

-And there was his oportunity.

- “Actually something is kinda bothering me and you are the only one who can help.”

-He slowly got up and made his way to your side.

- “You remember a few months back when you joked about us getting married? Or that other time when you said that I would make a great dad? Well I guess tonight will determine all of that.”

-He kneeled down and opened the small box rubbing your knee with his other hand.

- “Y/N L/N will you help me make those dreams reality?”

-Kenma disapproves.

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan @the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @reinyrei @bemorefiction @axerrri @dnarez

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swiftgronmasterpost · 4 years ago

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GRYLES!!!

Rebuilding the Gryles Timeline expertly crafted here because I’m always afraid of broken links and people going private and losing data.

Not only is there a ton of great evidence that these guys were dating such as Harry leaving Nick’s place in the morning wearing the same clothes as he’d worn the night before, I’ve also got a friend who works in the UK music industry and she did tell me these guys did date. Nick is 100% out as gay so it really does all add up.

Gryles very obviously takes place during Haylor, debunking Harry as the 1989 muse, and if it’s not Harry you do have to wonder... who with green eyes and an obsession with Alice and Wonderland was heavily featured in Taylor’s life and then disappeared before 1989 - a breakup album about someone with green eyes who seems to relate to Alice in Wonderland drops?

You get it.

Anyway here’s Gryles:

This is a little game I like to call "let's talk about Nick/Harry dates and how they line up with Harry leaving and entering the country".

06. February 5th 2012 - Harry and Nick go to a Super Bowl party together.

One Direction in Sweden February 12th - 14th. (Came home by train on the 14th.)

07. February 14, 2012 - VALENTINE'S DAY!

08. February 18, 2012 - Stella McCartney Fashion show with Nick's mom.

09. February 21, 2012 - Brit Awards!

10. February 22, 2012 - They attend a party together. (Nick might have been DJing?)

11. February 23, 2012 - Harry spotted leaving Nick Grimshaw's flat in the same outfit he was wearing the night before.

The morning of February 23rd One Direction flies to the US for their tour and doesn't return to the UK until April 24th, 2012.

This trip is supposedly where Haylor 1.0 happens. Harry supposedly meets Taylor at the KCA’s on March 31 and they fall for one another. Taylor supposedly goes to NYC to be with Harry (even though she spends the whole time with Dianna) during the first week of April. Then they supposedly enter into a long distance relationship that is broken up because Harry was seen out with another girl.

All the while the last thing Harry does before he leaves the UK is spend the night with Nick and then the first thing he does is goes back to him.

Yeah, I’m not buying Haylor 1.0 it seems pretty clear to me that Taylor wanted to pin I Knew You Were Trouble on Harry as a big pop anthem to support her transition to pop. I think it’s even possible they faked Harry being spotted out with that girl or perhaps he and Nick had some kind of agreement. I’m not saying Gryles was always exclusive (they may have been), but regardless I don’t see Red era Taylor being cool enough to share her boyfriend with a man.

12. April 25, 2012 - Nick and Harry out together the morning after he returned.

Harry also calls into Nick's radio show on the 25th and confirms that the first thing he did upon returning on the 24th was meet up with Nick and Matt Fincham for drinks so one can theorize he probably crashed w/ Nick that night.

Harry goes to LA by himself on May 1st and returns to the UK on the 5th.

May 5th, 2012 - Harry out with Annie Mac and Nick. (Thanks to my anon for clueing me into this little gem of information.)

13. May 7th, 2012 - Harry and Nick out with friends

One Direction goes to Sweden from May 10th to May 16th.

14. May 17, 2012 - The Sun reports Harry driving Nick to work.

Also out shopping together

15. May 19, 2012 - Nick posts a picture to his instragram from the Kanye West/Jay Z show at the O2.

Who cares right? So he went to see a show. But then.

Hey guess what happened the very next day? One Direction flew to Boston on May 20th, 2012 to start their summer tour in the U.S. They're gone from the 20th to July 3rd.

16. July 5, 2012 - Nick and Harry attend the launch of Tinie Tempah's shoes line.

There's some downtime and vacation time here where Harry disappears for a week while Louis is France w/ Eleanor, Niall goes to Spain, Liam and Danielle are on vacation, etc and then One Direction goes back to work July 11th recording and doing photo shoots.

17. July 19, 2012 - Harry goes out with Nick and Aimee and tweets this.

18. August 10, 2012 - Harry attends Nick's 28th birthday party at La Bodega Negra.

Pregaming before the party!

Outside La Bodega Negra

19. August 11, 2012 - Primrose Hill picnic

20. August 20, 2012 - One Direction visit Nick at BBCR1 to announce their headlining of the BBC Radio 1 Teen Choice Awards.

21. August 25, 2012 -

Nick and Harry go to lunch. (Would also like to point out that they are switching places and that Harry is going to the driver's side of Nick's car :333)

and then to Reading Festival

then Nick accompanies Harry to Liam's party at Funky Buddha

and then they leave together and go see Rita Ora at G.A.Y.

22. August 26, 2012 - The morning after, Nick tweets a shot of his hangover breakfast from Harry's Range Rover (Nick owns a Mercedes).

then a lunch date with several people

They spend this entire day together and this is the day the pics of them in the grocery store are taken where Nick buys Harry a banana, etc

and then Harry drops Nick off for his nighttime show and picks him up again to take him to/stay with him while Nick DJs at Wonderland nightclub.

(Although, lbr. Given what we learn from Nick's final nighttime show about how often Harry hung around the studio, he probably never left.)

Wonderland! (the only time that fucking song has any bearing on Harry and he’s off being a MLM king)

23. August 28, 2012 - Leaving Nick's flat

spotted in the studio w/ Nick at BBCR1

24. August 30, 2012 - Harry films the Breakfast Show advert for Nick's #Team Grimmy commercial and then they go to Mahiki Club that night.

25. August 31, 2012 - Harry goes with Nick to his DJ gig at Paradise

and then to karaoke afterward

The lo and behold One Direction flies to Florida the very next day to film their Pepsi commercial. They're gone until September 11th.

on September 6, 2012 Taylor has Sushi with Ed and Harry in LA supposedly signaling the start of Haylor 2.0 as if Harry is not fully boyfriends with Nick.

26. September 12, 2012 - Nick's final nighttime show. (this was a gif of them being cute and playing around but I was too lazy to bring it over, you get it they’re touchy, flirty, and playful):

Nick and Aimee go on vacation together from the 14th to the 18th.

27. September 18, 2012 - This dude says he spotted Harry Styles waiting in arrivals at the airport while waiting for his sister's flight to arrive insinuating perhaps Harry was traveling with Nick and Aimee:

28. September 20, 2012 - iTunes Festival where One Direction was interviewed by Nick and Annie Mac

29. Harry calls into Nick's first Breakfast Show on September 25, 2012. Then they meet up after to see Perks of Being a Wallflower together. I can't find the tweets from the ladies who saw them there, but Nick and Emma Watson confirm later that Harry was indeed there.

30. September 29, 2012 - Spotted at Waitrose together and then the following morning Nick regales his listeners with the tale of a Spinach pie he made for a ~friend~.

31. October 5th (or 6th?), 2012 - Preparation for Ladz FM

But also on October 5th, Taylor is on Nick’s show:

32. October 6, 2012 - Ladz FM

Supposedly on this show Nick gives Harry hell for Taylor, the Haylor timeline I like puts it this way:

“One Direction and Harry make an appearance on Nick’s show the following day, and they talk about Taylor on-air for 4 minutes straight. Nick teases Harry by saying “Ol’ Swiftyyyy” over and over again when she is brought up in the conversation.” Yup that’s right, Nick was giving his own boyfriend shit about his fake girlfriend 😭😭😭 this is why I fuck w Nick’s energy.

then they went for lunch in notting hill (no Taylor? why not Harry aren’t you so happy to be back with her and in love w her?)

33. October 7, 2012 - BBC Teen Choice Awards

One Direction doing promotion for the new album.

Paris - October 11, 2012

Ireland - October 12, 2012

Manchester - October 16, 2012

Leeds - October 17, 2012

34. October 19, 2012 - Lunch in London

October 31 - One Direction in Spain

Early November One Direction goes to the US for Ellen, X Factor USA, and The Today Show. After The Today Show Harry flies to LA while the rest of One Direction goes back to London. Harry writes a song with the lead singer of Snow Patrol and rumors start flying about him hooking up with Taylor Swift.

Harry arrives back in London on November 16, 2012.

35. November 16, 2012 - Children in Need benefit concert

November 30th One Direction goes back to the U.S. for one off shows and MSG show. Haylor happens.

Harry returns to London on December 8th via Taylor's private jet and plays the Jingle Ball with the rest of One Direction. Harry and Taylor tour the UK together until December 15th when Taylor leaves for France. Meanwhile Dianna heads out on a mystery 14 hour long flight on December 14th.

36. December 16, 2012 - Roast Dinner!

One Direction returns to the U.S. for the X Factor USA finale. Harry stays in the U.S. and goes on a ski vacation with Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, and Selena Gomez.

He returns to the UK on December 24th.

37. December 25, 2012 - Late night Christmas leftovers. (Yes they’re spending Christmas together, that’s boyfriend behavior!)

Harry and Nick both leave London on the 29th (Nick for Puerto Rico and Harry for NYC) Harry spends New Years with Taylor and Nick spends New Years with Pixie, Aimee, and the rest of the hipster crew. Harry and Taylor then fly to Gorda British Virgin Islands where they are supposed to vacation until the 7th. Taylor leaves on the 4th and Harry goes to Necker Island alone. Tabloids say Harry and Taylor have broken up.

And that’s it for Haylor!

Harry arrives back in the UK on January 8th

38. January 8, 2013 - Sushi lunch date! (tweet confirming nick was also there.)

and harry with the girl who tweeted it.

39. January 10, 2013 - Tinie Tempah's GQ dinner.

The party was for people on the British GQ best dressed list (Nick was on it. Harry was not.)

Jessie J puts a picture of the table cards from her table on instagram. Harry doesn't have one which, you know. I'll just be here imagining him as Nick's + 1.

One Direction fly to Ghana on the 12th or 13th and return on the 15th. On the 16th Harry calls into Grimmy’s show to talk about how Fincham DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A MEMBER OF ONE DIRECTION. Finchy asks Harry when he’s back and Harry says “in a couple of days”. (Small side note here that I don’t think Finchy and Harry are at the level of friends where they keep track of one another’s schedules so the only way Finchy could have known that Harry was heading back out of town to Japan that very day is if Nick told him.)

One Direction in Japan from January 16th to the 20th.

I'm not going to count this as a time they were together because I have no hard evidence, but the night of January 20th Harry was spotted in a grocery store buying wine and Annie Mac mentions on her show that Nick ditched coming over for dinner that evening to have a friend round to his house instead. We assume it was Harry, but w/o actual proof I don't want to say it concretely.

40. January 21, 2013 - Baking for Radio 1! (Tweet confirming the friend was Harry.)

Nick tells this story the morning of the 22nd about how he forgot he had to bake, so he got up from bed, went to the store for supplies, and forgot eggs. So, he texted his friend who was coming over to bring eggs and then Nick baked while his friend yelled at him to add more butter.

41. January 22, 2013 - Watching Great British Bake Off

Do what you will with this one. Obviously there is not definite way to tell if this is Harry or not, but given the evidence of the amount of time they spend together that has been laid forth thus far, I feel comfortable saying those are indeed Harry's legs.

42. January 31, 2013 - Out for Harry's birthday at La Bodega Negra (the same place they celebrated Nick's birthday.)

Nick also went to Groucho Club afterward with Harry and mentioned on his show this morning that he hadn't slept at all. (He was still wearing the same outfit.)

43. February 1, 2013 - Aimee tweets about being in the car with Nick en route to play Laser Quest. (Can't imagine who they might be playing with.)

Nick tweeted this :)

Never

Getting

Over

This

February 19, 2013 - PreBrit Awards Dinner Hosted by Nick!

THEIR SMILEY LITTLE FACES. :3

Legit SHARING A TAXI ON THE WAY HOME

2/20/13 - At the Brit Awards together!

Leaving an after party!

taking a cab to Nick's house so Nick can change for work

hands hands hands

At Nick's flat

2/21/13 - On The Breakfast show the morning after the Brits!

Harry on The Breakfast Show!

2/23/2013 - Nick attends One Direction's first show at the O2 in London

THE DROUGHT IS OVER!!!

8/21/2013 - Nick interviews Harry, Zayn, and Liam for TBS

Then Nick and Harry hook up later for dinner.

September 12, 2013

Harry gets off the plane from LAX, gets on the tube and meets Nick at an Elton John concert

Harry and Nick's dad at the concert, posted to Nick's instagram.

September 13, 2013

This person says they saw nick and Harry at Apartment 58 (members only club) together

https://twitter.com/LightbownL/status/378610145271771136

But, Sadie Frost also posted a picture of her and Nick getting ready to go out for LFW with no mention of Harry, so the tweet could be false facts.

But then! September 14, 2013

Sadie posts this picture of Nick sleeping on her sofa

Followed by this picture of Harry posing with her daughter

And then Nick and Harry went to Henry Hollands show at LFW together

Then to a pub with Gemma, Kelly Osborn and others

Then to dinner with James Corden and his wife

September 15, 2013

September 17, 2013 - Fashion Show East in London

November 9, 2013 - Breakfast with Anne and Robin at the Wolseley.

So Anne tweeted this in the morning. You can see the Wolseley logo at the top of the plate.

Then this girl got a pic with Harry at the Wolseley during his breakfast with Anne and Robin.

and she confirmed that Nick was eating with them https://twitter.com/alexandra_imper/status/400204985222193152

Then off to Selfridges to shop!

At Alexa Chung's birthday party!

November 10, 2013 - Ladz instagram and Aimee Phillips birthday party!

LADZ VIDEO!

November 30, 2013

Harry playing with Puppy at Nick's house.

Poppy Delevingne's hen party!

Leaving Groucho club.

December 1, 2013

Primrose Hill lighting ceremony!

Nick with Daisy Lowe and his dad!

Then this girl met Nick

https://twitter.com/rpcheald/status/407224559687852032/photo/1

and saw Harry

https://twitter.com/rpcheald/status/407209332858552320

Class of '92 movie premiere

Nick and his dad on the red carpet

Harry meeting Beckham!

December 4, 2013 - London Fashion Awards

February 17, 2014 - Taking a random taxi ride?????

and leaving Nick's flat

March 29, 2014

Sleepover at Harry's house!

Nick posted this on instagram

http://instagram.com/p/mHpTBdPJyt/

At the time we weren't sure it was Harry's drive but...

https://twitter.com/cuppanarryx/status/481310537817399296/photo/1

Hiya, doggie.

Also Nick's tweet from the morning after just because.

https://twitter.com/grimmers/status/449814322399940609

May 24, 2014 - Radio 1's Big Weekend

May 28, 2014 - Barry's BC London

And link to post about the other tweets x

June 8, 2014

Nick attends One Directions show at Wembley Stadium.

June 12, 2014

Harry at Nick driving around London in a Ferrari.

and another tweet about the Ferarri sighting.

https://twitter.com/ItsJustMikey/status/477133631602065408

Then later that evening Harry went to Nick's for his World Cup barbecue and fans took pics with Harry outside Nick's house.

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steve0discusses · 4 years ago

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S4 Ep38: Awkward Hugs Episode

Remember how excited I was about the good storyboarder? Well this episode has the opposite of that. It looks a lot like they hit some sort of crunch and this entire episode got shipped to Singapore so that some other animation studio could deal with their problems. It’s got some jank.

And like listen, animation is hard, there’s a billion moving plates, there’s a lot of office politics and deadlines, this season in particular is very long and complicated, and I don’t know exactly what happened this episode, but it just...wow it’s a lot funny poorly animated moments and I was here for it.

So first off, Dartz died! I didn’t even cap it because it happened so quickly. He was standing there, a portal opened up, and then the Great Leviathan kind of munched him up in 3 frames of animation, and then dissolved away back into the portal. It was card shenanigans anyway, and I don’t go over card games here--just trust me he played cards, he lost, he died.

Once Dartz died, this happened, in the one place Roland thought he was safe.

Roland has spent a good amount of this time debating whether or not to go inside and now he’s got a situation. Is it safer in Soul Hut than...whatever this is?

I wouldn’t know either.

So he just decides to uh...look directly at it while everyone else deals with orb hell.

The three knights of Atlantis decide to revive the respective owners of their cards.

So Pegasus just has to sit back, relax, and find some other unsuspecting orb person to share his fanfiction deep cuts with.

PS, that was not an exaggeration on the lazy PowerPoint spiral-in transition--this episode was a marvel of “Oh crap we ran out of time!” last-ditch effort animation and I approve.

(read more under the cut)

And if you thought they were done being orbs now that we’re on a physical mortal plane--nah.

This is the closest Pharoah and Yugi have ever gotten to a physical hug. Just throwing it out there that this is the only time they’ve touched in any way as two separate entities. Also--I like that this is the same way Yugi holds his necklace when he’s talking to Pharaoh. Cute little parallel there.

And as I mentioned, there were a lot of people just hugging it out as if it’s the last episode of the season. First off, one of the most huggy people on this show, which I’m still surprised is the Kaibas.

(he did legitimately pretend to be asleep by the way, because as he was spiraling out of hell he was like “whaoooahahhh”)

So I guess if Mokuba, Tristan, and Tea woke up without being orbs first, then that really does mean they never died 2 episodes ago.

Fine. This is fine. I’ll append my headcanon.

...so Dartz really was just so tired of them that he decided to make them take a nap, huh? That Mokuba was so annoying he was just like “I’m turning them off ok? Not like OFF off, not killing them or anything, that would be rude--I just don’t like small one.”

Meanwhile Tea has a Yugi appreciation moment where she’s reunited with her very confusing relationship. Which is how she likes it best. Undefined in nearly every sort of way. A relationship made entirely out of subtext.

(and honestly, relationships made entirely out of subtext is like 75% of the teen dating experience, which I may have mentioned before, but I do not remember if I have because 2020 has wiped my memory of just so many things.)

I vocally, out-loud, went “Ahhhh!” at the screen because I FORGOT how big his eyes are. They are so wild usually, but with the animation B-team at the helm, I was just not ready for the eyes to return. Yugi’s eyes are just...an abomination in every way and I forget when I see them consistently. I get used to them, I get over it...But when I go an entire season without these hell eyes staring directly at me every five seconds, then it’s like I’ve seen them for the first time.

I’m glad he’s back but man his eyes.

Those eyes.

Anyway, on for some more awkward hugs. First off, Yugi’s visceral reaction to his pretty-much-a-wife-at-this-point giving him a...hug?

(she’s kneeling, by the way. Bro mentioned that it looks like she picked him up and held him entirely by the neck--that would have been great, and I would never doubt Tea’s strength, but she had the decency not to do that.)

And then to Yugi’s just overall confusion to whatever Joey Wheeler defines as a hug.

I am 5 feet 0 inches tall, much like Yugi, and can confirm that yes, some people do hug me like this.

This type of hug should be illegal, it’s very disorienting.

Then, Yugi got to do what he does best.

The FIRST THING he does from coming back from death is immediately hold back information. Mm. Yugi at his finest.

At the point that you’d assume that someone in this room would indicate that maybe this hell vortex is like...a situation...Roland comes in the room screaming for Kaiba to come outside and tell him what the hell to do with his life.

So they go outside and the city of Atlantis is popping out of the sea and flying directly into the air--which...sure, it doesn’t really go in the air usually...but I’ll take it.

And in case you’re like...wait, I thought Atlantis was in California, not in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, don’t worry, it’ll get even more confusing later on.

Also, this happened.

Most of the human race freakin died so like...not sure what we should be concerned about here. Gotta get that one last guy in Florida to board up his house, I guess.

I like that Tea is contractually obligated to beg Yugi to stay behind so she doesn’t have to live without him when...it’s like...Tea, your relationship is already a big ass question mark, and Yugi actually dying did not even mean you were living without him. He’s been around this whole season as Pharaoh, my dude. You have the only boyfriend who will not only never officially date you but will also officially never go away.

So like...earlier in the season it was mentioned that Florida had the pieces of Atlantis shoved in a museum so like...is Atlantis off of Florida now? Because the Battle of Atlantis was in the Bay Area, and Dartz lives in San Francisco, and they went on a helicopter and flew out to the sea so...

We GOTTA be in the Pacific, right?

Anyway, it could be that they’re worried it’ll hit the East Coast of Japan--which, yes--it would. That would also be way more pertinent to our cast of people who live in Japan, it’s just that if you’re doing a show in English that takes place in the USA and you say the “East Coast” it only means New York.

I don’t think the translation team got the memo, it was a very weird line.

Tea wishes Yugi luck instead of Pharaoh for once, and Yugi was like “I don’t know why you want to talk to me instead of the version of me with the fine ass.” and his confusion was kind of cute, but they didn’t actually go into any more deets than this.

Valon and Mai were almost making out with each other’s dead body like ten episodes ago, so maybe the team felt like they had enough practice to maybe almost approach something happening with their flagship couple? Almost.

But also...Yugi just has no idea that a few days ago Tea was trying to get Pharaoh to talk to her on a Caltrain by talking about wearing little swimsuits on a Florida beach date, and then Pharaoh got so upset he went to the tiny area between trains and started sobbing while punching a wall. Yugi doesn’t know this. I don’t think anyone will ever tell him.

And like...will anyone tell Yugi that Pharaoh woke up in Tea’s bed? Like no one, right? Like no one even knows that happened? The irony of how cautious Yugi is with this relationship after Pharaoh was just slicing and dicing for this entire season is great. It’s also probably unintentional, but I can still laugh at it.

Anyway, inside soul hut, Yugi got a little lost, and then his puzzle started glowing and brought him to the Macguffins from last season. Would have been really inconvenient if these got doused in the sea, honestly, and I don’t think the Ishtars would have appreciated it.

Also, this puzzle sensor would have been really, really useful in S2.

Meanwhile, I think Seto and Joey just stared at this glowy gate of hell thing being all “Do you know what this is, Kaiba? I was dead” and Kaiba being all “Hell if I know, I was also dead, I don’t know what this thing is.” And Joey being like “Well Yugi doesn’t know what it is, he was also dead.” and Kaiba being like “The only one of us alive was the dead guy who lives in Yugi’s imagination?”

And then Joey being like “Also, where the hell are we?”

So, frustrated that this obvious trap was simply too confounding, Dartz decides to explain to our dumb as hell cast what a “door” is.

Where we can then admire the sights of Atlantis! Which is mostly brick buildings and giant gates with snakes on them.

Also it would just be COVERED in dead fish but we’re gonna skip that and save it for what would be an extremely ill-fated Netflix live-action series that they will probably eventually make of Season 4. Netflix can’t help itself, you know it can’t. This is a spicy series. It would be terrible in gritty live action. Make it happen, Netflix.

I feel like the artist was trying desperately to fix Joey’s bangs and I feel that on an emotional level. We all want to fix Joey’s bangs. Why did they stop at Joey?

They find Dartz in some weird Gazebo which...OK. It was a whole lot of weird concept art that I didn’t cap because it’s like...nothing is terrifying about a Gazebo...

I straight up don’t understand Atlantis culture.

So, Dartz decided that he could just...use himself to raise the Great Leviathan. He had only one more soul he needed, and he was just as powerful as Yami--so lets just do it, lets just raise the snake!

MAN I just realized what a euphemism this season is.

Good job, Dartz.

Course this is how he spun his story to us, but he seemed pretty surprised when the Great Leviathan gobbled him up in the first 10 minutes of the episode.

But this is the story Dartz is sticking to. He, himself, will raise the Leviathan, himself, and he is very happy with his decision that he made all by himself. I mean, Dartz has been alive for 10,000 years, and maybe he got bored of immortality.

Dartz could have done this from day 1.

What’s up, Sephiroth? Nice little uh final fantasy thing we’re doing with this lizard’s face. I really can’t unsee these uneven man boobs (like what is that angle?) but it’s fine. Dartz doesn’t need hands or...legs...he’s a dragon now, like he can just bite stuff and fly around and stuff. Can’t be that bad.

But for reals, what is the dragon’s angle here?

what is it gonna DO?

Like after everyone’s dead. Is it just gonna...float around? Fly around outer space? Enjoy the sunrise?

Like what do dragons...DO?

Anyway, I’m sure we’ll never get the answer on why the Leviathan wanted to leave the core of the Earth so stinkin bad, but maybe--just maybe--this season might actually end next episode? Maybe?

Will I actually finish this season in 2020! I might! Y’all I MIGHT!

And for anyone reading these for the first time, here’s a link to read these in chrono order

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okayto · 4 years ago

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Mini-Review: Cheer Boys!!

Disheartened with judo, college student Haruki "Haru" Bando was invited by his childhood friend Kazuma Hashimoto to create "BREAKERS", an unprecedented boys' cheerleading team. Can their motley group of amateurs pull it off?

Sometimes I pick up a show because I’m hoping for something mild to only pay half attention to, and sometimes that backfires because it turns out the show is really good. That’s what happened here.

Loosely based based on the real-life Waseda University all-male cheer team Shockers, (and how loosely I don’t know, maybe just that Cheer Boys!! is also about an all-male university team) this was a sweet and colorful story about, in the timeless tradition of sports stories, a group of people coming together to Do a Sport With Friendship.

One thing I really enjoyed was that the characters are all in college (university), so they’re a bit older than the usual sorts shows I’ve seen, and that gives the characters a great reason to be independent of their families.

Our main character is Haru, college freshman and shy boy from a judo family with a judo sister and who really doesn’t want to do judo anymore. So when his best friend and fellow judo teammate Kazu suggests they both quit and start a cheerleading club, Haru is...well, not on board with the second half of that idea.

But he comes around. Like we knew he would, because it’s the idea behind the entire show.

First order of business: recruiting additional members so they can actually perform a routine. First recruit: this dork:

Wataru was my favorite character: a serious guy who likes to quote famous lines and makes up for his initial lack of skill with dedication and an inability to feel embarrassed. He ended up with some great lines.

The fact that they end up with recruits, put on a decent show at a school festival, and end up with more recruits and a goal of a regional competition isn’t a surprise--it would be surprising if none of that happened. Instead, the tension in the story comes mainly from personality clashes and individual worries.

Haru doesn’t face pushback form his parents, but his sister seems to resent him for giving up judo. Club members have differing levels of commitment, and irritate each other. Another cheer team gets offended that a bunch of newbies decided they wanted to cheer, because you can’t have a sports story without someone judging you for, heaven forbid, not dedicating every breathe and thought in your entire life to Sport.

oh no, people in my sport have more enthusiasm than talent

I did get irritated in the middle when one of the inter-group personality clashes was getting out of hand. Luckily it only lasted for a few episodes but one member of the team was not only annoyed with, well, everyone else for not taking it as seriously as he did, but he also started lecturing others and making the team an unpleasant place to be.

I just wanted to be like, Dude, there is a way to bring up your issues and criticizing others to their face, when you are not a leader and haven’t taken this to leadership, is not it.

(It resolves, because this is a sports anime about the Power of Teamworkfriendship, but ugh.)

But overall, it was a very fun show. I loved the character interactions--there are some great, funny lines, and it really did sounds like a bunch of college friends talking and joking a lot. Plus, even in animated form, cheer and gymnastics is fun to watch!

Verdict

English dub? Yes!

Visuals: Light and pretty! I was surprised when I started the first episode and found that it has a more shoujo style, but it’s very nice to watch.

Worth watching? Yes! It’s fun just to watch the characters interact, and the routines, but it’s also fun to watch a sports show that has fairly low stakes (this is an extracurricular club, no one’s life depends on them winning) and wraps up nicely (12 episodes).

Where to watch (USA, as of November 2020): Funimation (sub and dub); Blu-ray or BR/DVD combo

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

#Cheer Boys!!#Cheer Danshi #the downside to this show is that it could've been fun to have more time with just the characters outside of cheering #like Saku explicitly has a crush on Kazu and it would've been very fun to just watch them together even more #reviews #anime #recommendation

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tellywoodtrash · 4 years ago

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immj2 20.11.20

new title card! everyone looking hottttttttttttttttt af!

no for real though, this chick needs to fucking insure her feet or something. itne disaster-prone pair maine zindagi mein nahi dekhe.

this idiot. honestly, he needs to know to pick his battles. he used to be soooooooo smart and shaatir. now he’s just dumb as fuckkkkkkk, the way he’s playing the game. i really don’t understand. i just don’t.

“riddhima tumhe pata hai tumhari problem kya hai? tum khud aage badhke apne bure waqt ki ghadi set karti ho.” lmaooooooo that’s a brilliant line and exactly what she does!

standard DON’T YOU DARE LOOK AT MY FAMILY WRONG blah blah from riddhima.

trollolololololololololol i honestly just put up with this character just to see vishal play himmmmmmm

blah blah tell dadi that i should get the business, then the property, then the family, and then this room of his....... ew, gross implication of that room thing aside, bro slow your rolllllllllllll. also why are you tellling her all this??? why the fuckkkkk would you give her a heads-up?!?!!?!?

sweetheart bhi bola. ugh. i hate when any man calls any woman that. it sounds patronizing and condescending as fuckkkk. also i just don’t get why he wants to be like vansh so muchhhhhhhhh when HIS PERSONALITY IS OBJECTIVELY BETTER THAN VANSH’S WAS?!!?!?!!?

ok i’m bored with this scene now and fwding.

pls sis, don’t say wohiiiiiiiii shakal and all. new shakal is >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> old shakal. like, i have no words to describe the improvement.

here aryan be making some stupid shady deals and he’s like mwahahahahaha now that vansh is gone, there’s no one to stop me!!!!!! dude, he literally used to do that to prevent you from going to fucking jail, lmao. you are so fuckingggggggg dumb istg.

“sivaaye mere!” snort. this i’m gonna enjoyyyyyyyyyyy.

aryan like TU KAUN MAIN KHAMAAKHAAAAN?!!!?!? and quite rightly so.

this is their new thing in the show. they show this angle of kabir jab uski kuch zyaaaada hi khisakkkkk jaati hai.

AKLSJALKFJSLKDJFLSDKJFLKDSJLFKJDSLKFJDSLKJFLSKJD OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

“seedhe mooh baat kii thi. tameez se jawaab dena chahiye tha.”

lmaooooooooooooooo i can’tttttttttt with this fuckerrrrrrr. why is he so fuckingggggg hilarious?????

meanwhile bhaabiji is back at mandir place asking around about vihaan. she’s describing him as “bodybuilder type” which, lol......... ok.

chaiwaala is i know who he is and can give you deets.

she’s like yehiiii haina???? and he’s like yeah kinda, but hotter. way hotter. ok he didn’t say it. i’m saying it. BUT IT’S THE TRUTH, COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!

holy shit she just had to give him 2x my wholeass monthly rentttttttt to get the deets. what the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk????? ALSO MY GOD WHO JUST CARRIES AROUND THIS MUCH CASH IN THEIR LIL DINKY GOING-TO-THE-MANDIR PURSE???????????

bhaiyyaji very very happy with his loot of the day butttttttttttt.........

lmao this one like I WORKED REALLY HARD AS AN ACCOUNTANT TO EARN THAT WAD OF CASH THAT SHE JUST HANDED TO YOU OK??????? YOU THINK SHE MAKES THIS MUCH AS NO-NAME PHYSIOTHERAPIST WITH A GRAND TOTAL OF ONE CLIENT????? AND NOW I’VE HAD TO SWITCH CAREERS. IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC. I HAD TO LEARN A WHOLEEEEEEEE NEW SKILLSET. YOU KNOW HOW MANY HOURS I SPENT ON COURSERA AND UDEMY AND GITHUB RIGHT AFTER FALLING OFF A CLIFF?????????? DO YA???????????

sorry shaktimaan.

“virus hoon main. ek baar laga gaya na toh zindagi ka file corrupt kar doonga.” lmaoooooooooo lord the dumbass tech related metaphorsssss.

ok that’s a bit much but mmmmmm baby i love to watch you work. esp. this outfit, unf. it’s really getting me so damn hot for you.

khud ki hi biwi ka phone number score karke itnaaaaaa khush kisi ko hote hue pehli baar dekha hai.

lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

aryan, who is literally tied to a chair is growling at kabir about how this won’t end well for him and kabir’s like..............

snorttttttttt i love this psychopathhhhhh.

kabir is like just use your ickle brain cell lil one. i’m a cop. i have alllll the details of every single shady thing you’ve done. first i’ll show it to the family, then to the authorities. and then there miiiiiiiiiiight be an encounter later.......... lmao yessssssssss, i love it.

“woh kya haina, samajhdaar ko ishaara kaafi hota hai. lekin tum itne samajhdaar nahi ho na, iss liye itne detail mein samjhaana pada!” i really cannot stop laughing at this scene. truly the evil bros dynamic i have been craving for from this show.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that is enough for aryan to maarofy palti.

but ooooooooooops. he called him kabir. which we know is this one’s sore spot these days.

“kabir.................... sir?” lmfaooooooooooooo

hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha

bitch wht you callllllll vansh?????

“kabir...... bhai.”

OMFG THE STRAIGHT UP ORGASM FACE HE MADE AT THAT?!?!!??!?! JESUS KABIR I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY FOR THIS. EVEN FREUD DIDN’T COME UP WITH A THEORY FOR WHATEVER FREAKY “BHAIYYA ISSUES” YOU HAVE GROWN ALL OF A SUDDEN OUTTA NOWHERE.

aryan is literally like...............................

“ab BHAIYYA ki do baat dhyaaaaan sunna, ok????”

ok deal done. do shady fuckers have allied. kaisi ram milaaye usa-uk type jodi hai paapiyon ki.

aryan like but everything belongs to dadi now, and dadi is forsho gonna hand it all over to her laadli riddhima, who hates your guts.

“tum jitna smart mujhe samajhte ho, usse kahinnnnnn zyaada smart hoon main.”

aryan like ok but fr how exactly are you gonna achieve this??????/

“bhagwaan ne pehle hi tumhe dimaag kam diya hai. issi umar mein sab use karloge toh aage kya karoge??? jitna bola gaya hai, utna karo.” LMAO PLS MAN CAN WHOEVER IS WRITING KABIR’S LINES WRITE THEM FOR VIHAAN TOOOOOOOO. COZ THESE ARE GENUINELY SO FUNNY AND HIS ARE SOOOOOOO FUCKING LAME.

riddhima walks in to aryan having already gotten dadi’s ear and having kabir involved in the business. he’s already signing papers and shit! idhar mereko debit card use karte waqt 4 baar sign karna hota hai to prove i’m the actual owner and didn’t just steal it from somewhere, and this guy just got signing authority to a wholeass empire in half an hour.

aryan talking soooooooooooo nicely about kabir and riddhima is like OK FOR SURE THIS FUCKER HAS BEEN THREATENED AND/OR BRIBED.

lmaooooooooo aryan again referred to him as “kabir” and K just cleared his throat all ominously. and promptlyyyyyyy aryan’s like “KABIR BHAI!!!! KABIR BHAI!!!!!!!!!”

uska jhattttt jawaaab bhi mil gaya universe se, hahahahahaha.

kaunsa bhai, kahaan ka bhai, haaaaan??????

oh boy. this angle again.

“isse vansh bhai ki jagah dena, business mein involve karna; kya deal hui hai tumhari, kitne mein becha hai tumne apne aap ko; bolo?!?!?!? ki tumhe yeh achanak se apna bhai lagne laga hai????” DAMN. I LOVE ISHANI. SHE’S SHARP AS A TACK. WHY THE FUCK WON’T DADI JUST GIVE HER THE EMPIRE?????????

dadi talking blah blah anupriya ka beta hai, yeh bhi tumhare bhai haina. god shut upppppppppp dadi.

“jeete-jee toh nahi, dadi. mere liye bhai ka sirf ek matlab tha, vansh bhai.” aw mannnnnnnnnnnn. i really hope we get more ishani/vansh-vihaan when he enters the house. i really wanna see more of their bond. he always was so soft for siya, but it’s so obvious that ishani loves him beyond belief. what a shame to not show us more of that.

“respect earn kii jaati hai, zabardasti lee nahi jaati.” DAMN RIGHT SIS. YOU TELL EMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

ab iss angle mein atke issko yeh kaun samjhaaye???

you know that realllllllllly dumbass cringeworthy song called psycho saiyyaan? they should remake it for this show and call it “aaya mora BHAIYYA psycho!!!”

so apt!

dadi apologizing some more for ishani and giving kabir khulaaaaaaaa rein to handle business. riddhima not happy about this and decides kuchhhhh toh karna hogaaaaaa.

she finally remembers of angre’s existence and that he is the only one who’ll really help her.

ISS GHAR KE SAARE MARD EK SE BADHKAR EK PAAGAL HAIN.

riddhima saying the saaaaaaame thing.

angre se bro ka judaai sahaa nahi jaa raha. brotp ho toh aisa.not that vansh articularly deserves this much love and loyalty, seeing the way he treated angre, but angre’s saying he was my boss, bhai, dost, everythingggggg to meeeee. awwww.

BUT ALSO THIS FUCKER FULLLLLY DOING THIS DRAMA HAVING HELPED VANSH SURVIVE AND CHANGE IDENTITIES, LIKH KE LELO MERE SE.

ishani coming in and is like at least he’s grieving bhai’s death. you toh let some other fucker into the house on bhai’s terhvi itself.

“sab apni life mein aage badh gaye hain. aise behave karr rahe hain jaise kuch hua hi nahi hai! kisi ko koi parvaah hi nahi hai ki vansh bhai humaare beech nahi hain.” aw mannn, i honestly love her the mosttttttttttttttt.

she’s like angre’s trying to take his pain out, usse toh chain paane do.

riddhima got a message from chaiwaala (no, not the one at 7, race course road) and bounces.

meanwhile angre is telling ishani to give the belt back and stop pretending she gives a fuck about him. she’s like i don’t, but i know you loved bhai as much as i do. so i won’t let you do this to yourself.

she’s like if you really want to honour him and give him peace, then we need to make a plan so that the fucker who’s ghusofied into his house can’t take his place. OMG YOU GUYS THEY’RE TEAMING UPPPPPPP?!?!?!??!!? A GENTLE BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!! HONESTLY, VANSH’S DEATH HAS BROUGHT NOTHING BUT GOOD THINGS TO THIS SHOW.

cutiepie is waiting for wifey to show up. has some stupidass tech dialogue to maarofy about it but the less said about that, the better.

“message padha bhi nahi??? kaise pata karoon????” lmao itna bada hacker hai, and he’s at the mercy of whatsapp ka blue tick feature like the rest of us.

not to worry boo. she’s on her waaaaaay.

WHY THE FUCK DOES HE STILLLLLLLL HAVE ALL THE PICS OF THE FAM LYING OUT IF HE KNOWS SHE’S GONNA SHOW UP?!?!!?!?!?!

“intezaar bhi tab tak cute lagta hai jab tak frustrate na kar de; miss..... pretty raisinghania!” dude, whether he’s vansh or not, he’s simping so hard for her. i fucking love it.

oh shit she walks in as he’s heartttttteyeing over her piccccccc.

oh nope. he’s the flash flying jatt. already disappeared behind his desk.

yeah girl. i know. I KNOW!!!!!!!

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

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missmaxime · 4 years ago

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Hi, I follow you for good girls and I saw you were dutch and was wondering if you have any recommendations for dutch youtubers/ tv shows for non native speakers? ( or even for native speakers)

Oh hi! First of all, thanks for following me Anon! You send me this ask while I was in the middle of watching the TV Awards, and I needed a little time to recover after the Zoomparties we had xD But here we are: I do have recommendations, but I also don’t know your possible access to some of these shows. If you have a VPN I’ll link the streaming sites, I don’t use torrent sites so I don’t have recs for those I’m afraid. Another thing I can’t magic are subtitles - I checked out the shows on their original streaming sites but they only have Dutch subtitles. Maybe you have more luck if you use torrents?

PENOZA

PENOZA is a Dutch show about a Carmen, a woman who is forced to take over her husbands hash/weed business after he gets murdered in a crime dispute between gangs. She ends up handling herself for better and worse than she could have imagined. It has a lot of GG themes, but it’s much rawer and bare than GG in a lot of ways. From the get go Carmen has a LOT more to lose than Beth Boland does. Has to deal with situations uglier and more gruel than us GG fans have seen. I do recommend watching only the show, and not the ‘wrap up’ movie that came out later. SERIES and the movie - if you must - can be watched on Dutch Netflix, or purchased through YouTube.

FEUTEN

College culture in the USA is so so so different from how it is in Amsterdam. Campuses? Never heard of her. Our universities are in big cities, and that is where the students reside and live their lives. This show both gives an insight into the culture of how NL deals with sororities but also laces in a whodunit in the first season. What I love about this is how it was made with mostly people under 35 (writing, directing, etc), and with cast all aged appropriately to the college age. It’s all shot at location (as is every Dutch show because we have no money) but in this case it gives you a real impression of how the Alpha Beta Phi culture is in our country. Series can be watched through NPO Start

VAN GOD LOS

It’s a mixed bag this one, but that is bound to happen with a show like this. Every episode is a new story based on a True Crime. What I love about this show is the fact that it really propelled such an amount of new talent into the industry - actors, directors, writers anyone. Even though every episode has a very distinct feel to it, because it’s made by someone else, it still feels so good as a series overall. If you want to watch it I highly recommend the following episodes: Spookbeeld (S1E1), Kortsluiting (S1E7), Babyshower (S2E2), Hardcore Never Dies (S2E6), Zwarte Dagen (S2E7), Loverboys (S3E2), Warriors (S3E6), Beverman & Zoon (S4E1), Unlike (S4E6). You can watch the series HERE (and if you’re old like me I’m pretty sure you could get them on DVD).

MOCRO MAFFIA

Look, I’m not really usually one to gravitate towards a series that is about a bunch of dudes, but here we are. Mocro Maffia is a show about two cocaine-dealing gangs in Amsterdam. It had the same amount of unrealism towards crime and police that GG has, but it’s excessively harder and more brutal in it’s consequences. Is it kind of a male soap opera dressed in a crime coat? Maybe. It’s not always great, but it’s a great watch. It really does have a great cast and it looks amazing. Watch this on Videoland.

JUDAS

Judas tells the story about Astrid Holleeder - the sister of Willem Holleeder, one of the kidnappers of Freddy Heineken, and known as one of the most notorious criminals in our recent history - who conspires with the justice department to frame her brother. Willem was released in 2012, but was still a suspect in a lot of criminal cases, one of them the murder of a crown witness. Astrid took it upon herself to gather the intel to put her brother away for good. Watch the series HERE.

OVER MIJN LIJK

Look, not gonna lie, this is blatant self promotion. But I just love this show so much. It’s non-fiction. In this show we follow a variety of different young people (under 35) who have been diagnosed with a different form of cancer and are due to die some time soon. Translated ‘Over mijn lijk’ means both Over My Dead Body and About My Dead Body, and both of those is what this show is about. About celebrating life when you know it’s going to end soon. For some of those it means traveling the world, for for some it means spending time at home with their children. It’s truly both heartbreaking and inspirational, it always gives such a down to earth and honest portrait of real people I know a lot of countries can’t or don’t want to deliver. Watch it HERE

Drugslab

You can watch this international success HERE (With subtitles for a variety of countries). Since 2005 we’ve been broadcasting the show Spuiten & Slikken (Translated roughly to Shooting/Injecting & Swallowing - it’s about both drugs and sex) educating and entertaining people about both drugs and sex. Another show that unsaleable across borders, too taboo, too explicit. In Drugslab one of the hosts takes a drug and the other stays sober and interviews the other about their experience. Is it real? Yes. I’ve talked to every single one of them during a break when they were spacing out. You can watch Drugslab HERE (With subtitles in a million languages!)

JACHTSEIZOEN

In this YouTube series the three guys from the channel StukTV chase down a famous Dutchie across the country who’s trying to keep out of their grasp. Every episode starts inside a prison, the famous Dutchie of the week is dressed in a bright orange suit, and they have three hour to stay ahead of the warden-team (StukTV). It’s got great suspense, you see a lot of the country, and StukTV have a great and believable role in this (they are in their thirties now and while did try and fail with a lot of other formats to find their way as ‘older’ youtubers, in this one they really shine). Watch the latest season here.

Also if you have Netflix and you can see a few Dutch/Belgian shows I can do a brief recommendation on those I’ve seen: 1. Undercover Personally, I loved the first season, I’m not digging the second season that’s now running. It’s about about XTC druglord that resides with his girlfriend on a camping in Brabant. Two undercover agents pose as a couple and become their friends, get dragged into the crime world more and more. Highly recommend the first season, I think I’ll watch the second season when it’s fully online and I’ll get back to this! 2. Ares Ares is a show about a supernatural sorority in Amsterdam. I wish I could tell you more kind words about it. I mean, it looks absolutely stunning, maybe if they had spend a little more of that money on casting, telling this story better than drowning a history of slavery in symbolism, and while we’re at it: getting at least one writer of color who knows enough about the subject. Definitely do not recommend. I’m really looking forward to the new Dutch Netflix show ‘Dirty Lines’, which is about how sexlines rose massively in popularity in the eighties in Amsterdam. If you’d like more specified recommendations let me know! There’s so much content I was a little at a loss what to pick.

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drtanstravels · 5 years ago

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It’s been a while since I’ve checked in because we’ve had a relatively quiet two months, until now that is. We had been anticipating our first venture back to mainland USA since we left New York three years ago for quite a while, but for slightly different reasons than the usual excitement that comes with a big trip; the bulk of our stay was going to be in the state of Wyoming for another one of Anna’s conferences, this time the Midwest Ocular Angiography Conference being held in the small town of Jackson. We were going to be in a white, working class state that voted overwhelmingly for Donald Trump and one where a licence isn’t required to carry a concealed weapon so we figured the two of us together might draw a bit of attention. Then there was the fact that Wyoming is the least populous state in the United States so when we were looking for information about where we’d be staying, among the endless memes such as these, we also found a lot of people, mostly ironically, even calling into question the state’s existence:

Our plan was to fly out on the night of Friday, July 5, taking a 15-hour direct flight to Los Angeles, California, but due to the time difference, landing around the same time we left. We would then stay a night in LA, fly out to Jackson, Wyoming where we would spend the following four nights before spending a similar amount of time traveling around both the Great Teton and Yellowstone National Parks. Let’s get this show on the road!

I think someone wanted to come with us

Friday, July 5, 2019 I had a lot of loose ends to tie up during the day, then Anna returned from work and we began to pack. This was no easy task as the temperature in Wyoming is a little scattered. With the exception of a couple of colder outliers that were in the mid-teens, most days were going to be between 27°C (80.6°F) and 31°C (87.8°F), however, the nights would be quite cool, every evening in single digits, sometimes dropping to 0°C (32°F). This meant we would have to pack for both summer and winter, especially due to the fact that Anna had also planned to spend two nights “glamping” in a tent. Anyway, we went through our boxes of winter clothes, got everything packed, dropped the dog off at Brownie Buddies, and made our way to the airport.

There’s been a recent trend of disasters occurring around the same time we are in, or not long after we leave, a country:

We were in Honolulu, Hawaii (I realise it’s not a county in itself, but part of the US) for an ophthalmology conference from April 29 – May 2, 2018. The Kilauea volcano erupted the day we left, followed by several earthquakes including one at a magnitude of 6.9, as well as multiple lava flows. 700 houses were destroyed.

We then stayed in Tokyo, Japan from May 2 – May 7 on the way back from the Hawaiian conference. Two months later Western Japan suffered its worst natural disaster since the 2011 earthquake and the worst weather-related disaster in 36 years with flooding and landslides killing around 200 people and two million more evacuated after July 5. Another two months after the typhoon, an earthquake with a magnitude of 6.7 occured in Hokkaido, killing at least 39.

We visited Chiang Mai, Thailand for another conference from June 27, 2018, I returned on June 30 and Anna on July 2. In what was only a relatively small story when it broke, 12 teenage soccer players and their coach became trapped in a cave in neighbouring Chiang Rai on June 23, not being rescued until 18 days later, one volunteer rescuer suffocating in the process.

We were in Hangzhou, China from September 12 – 15, 2018, with Anna arriving on the 13th from Hong Kong. The day I landed in Hangzhou, Hong Kong, also technically a “special administrative region of China”, was hit by Typhoon Mangkhut, leaving 400 seeking medical care and 1,500 taking refuge in temporary shelters.

Later in the month we had a holiday in Turkey from September 24 – 29 and they didn’t escape lightly, either. Not only was there a hurricane warning for Turkey on the day we left to return to Singapore, but Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi was murdered in the Saudi consulate in Istanbul by his own government just two days later as well.

This year we spent February 1 – 5 in Sri Lanka, a mere two months before a series of bombings in churches and hotels in Colombo killed 257 people.

So, what does all of this have to do with our trip to Wyoming? Well, we had a one-day layover in Los Angeles and a 6.4 magnitude earthquake hit about 240 km (150 miles) north of LA just before we departed from Singapore, that’s all.

We caught our flight, landed, and it is alway amusing people-watching at Los Angeles International Airport, including the middle-aged woman we encountered resembling Lolo Ferrari who wouldn’t be able to sleep on her back for fear of being crushed under the weight of her own ridiculous breast implants. Once through immigration we caught a shuttle from our terminal to our hotel at the airport and an extremely strong female driver who appeared to have just returned from the manicurist picked up our exceptionally heavy suitcases like they were nothing and loaded them onto the shuttle. When we got to the hotel we grabbed our bags and I asked her how she managed to do that and keep a full set. She just gave me a cheeky smile, winked, and drove off. We checked into the hotel before making our way downstairs to a bar where we pulled up a seat for a few drinks, but the staff all seemed a little freaked out, talking about the earthquake. It seemed a little fresh in them all until I looked up at a screen showing CNN and the numbers didn’t quite add up. It turned out that another 7.1 magnitude quake with several aftershocks hit about an hour before we landed at LAX. They weren’t dwelling on the previous day’s occurrence, this stronger quake that everyone was nervous about had only just occurred. The staff just wanted to get out of there and check that their homes were still intact, plus we were pretty tired so we just had a couple of drinks and went back up to our room.

Saturday, July 6, 2019 You never get a great sleep when you make a flight as long as the one we had, constantly waking up during the night, struggling to get back to sleep, then waking up early again. This left us a fair bit of time to kill in LA before we had to fly out later that night so we decided to catch a cab to a nearby shopping mall, but first we grabbed some breakfast in the hotel cafe. One thing we were aware of, but to the degree of which we had completely forgotten, was the portion sizes in the US. Case in point, we got a breakfast burrito each and probably wouldn’t need anything else until dinner! Time to walk this one off in Westfield Culver City.

Add “NBA record most missed shots in NBA history” to that list

This mall had a ton of sporting goods stores selling NBA jerseys, caps, and other stuff, predominately Lakers gear. I’ve mentioned before that I loathe, hate, and despise the Lakers, think Kobe Bryant (left) is the most overrated player to ever lace them up, and believe that LeBron James’ spoilt, overprivileged attitude is ruining the league. This offseason the Lakers traded for Anthony Davis of the New Orleans Pelicans, a deal that could ruin the franchise for years to come if it doesn’t work out and left them wanting to sign another star player Their eyes were set firmly on free agent Kawhi Leonard, whom had just led the Toronto Raptors to the NBA championship. Instead, Leonard announced that very morning that he intended to sign with the Lakers’ crosstown rival L.A. Clippers, a team that also managed to trade for Oklahoma City Thunder star Paul George, and Lakers fans were PISSED! There was a guy who ran one of the stores, an overweight dude in a Kobe Bryant throwback jersey and all other Lakers attire who was close to tears. “If only we still had Kobe, man,” he said longingly of a player that retired three years ago. “He’d be 41, but we’d still have a chance, with Kobe you always had a chance.” He’s talking about a guy who couldn’t stay healthy toward the end of his career, playing a grand total of 107 of a possible 244 games over his final three seasons, the Lakers’ three worst regular seasons in franchise history for that matter, all while pulling in a cool US$78,953,000 in salary over that time. Yeah, he’d get it done today.

We spent the bulk of the afternoon wandering around Westfield, finding quirky objects such as Twix chocolate bar packets that claimed to contain four of only the left-side bars. We are attending Anna’s cousin’s wedding in Vancouver, Canada in September so I managed to pick up a three-piece Calvin Klein suit plus a shirt from JC Penney for a grand total of only US$355.88 (AU$506.49) plus tax, well under half-price and it actually fits. This isn’t boasting, but the price will make a bit of sense when I use it as a comparison later in this post. Anyway, take a look at some photos from our less than one day in Los Angeles:

The TV while we were in the bar on Friday night

Breakfast is served

These things were enormous

For those who believe the right Twix bar is unlucky and need twice as many in total

And vice versa

Anna had a weird craving for In-N-Out Burger, but we didn’t have time and before long we were back in the airport, ready to take a short flight from LA to Jackson, Wyoming. There is only one flight per day to Jackson and I was beginning to think there may be some truth to the conspiracy that Wyoming may not even exist when we boarded the plane and there were a grand total of 12 passengers onboard. Anyway, a bit of background information on our alleged destination:

Jackson is a small city in the Jackson Hole valley of Teton County, Wyoming, United States. The population was 9,577 at the 2010 census, up from 8,647 in 2000. It is the county seat of Teton County and is its largest town.

The town gained significant fame when a livestream of the town square went viral on YouTube in 2016, leading to much fascination with the town’s elk antler arch, its law enforcement, and its prevalence of red trucks.

As of the census of 2010, there were 9,577 people, 3,964 households, and 1,858 families residing in the town. The racial makeup of the town was 79.8% White, 0.4% African American, 0.8% Native American, 1.4% Asian, 0.1% Pacific Islander, 15.2% from other races, and 2.3% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 27.2% of the population.

Upon finding out those demographics, I immediately set myself the goal of getting a photo with one of those nine or 10 Pacific Islanders if Wyoming did indeed exist, especially if they drive a red truck. Failing that, a guy in a MAGA hat shouldn’t be too much of a stretch. I can honestly vouch for the existence of Wyoming as we landed in the Jackson Hole airport. No memories planted by the government, just real visions of a tiny airport decorated with discarded elk antlers. Anna had hired a car, but we wouldn’t be picking that up until the following day. Instead, we had a driver collecting us to take us to our motel about 10 minutes outside of town. When we arrived at the Flat Creek Inn at 8:30pm, sitting directly opposite the National Elk Refuge, the place had an appearance resembling kind of a much larger version of the motel where Earl and Randy lived in My Name Is Earl. In fact, if the motel were located in any major city in the US, it seemed almost inevitable that at least one hooker or backpacker would have been murdered there and stuffed into a wall cavity. Realistically though, it was a nice enough place and pretty much suited our needs. Our flight, the airport, and our home for the night:

Our packed flight

Flying over “Wyoming”

Anna out the front of the airport in Jackson Hole, Wyoming

Outside our room

The store where we’d be buying dinner

In our room

A little dingy, but it’ll be fine for the night

Anna sitting on the bed

Me trying to give the room a sexier vibe

After we had checked into our room it was time to try to find something to eat and that is where any semblance of normalcy ceased. This was truly an area where you couldn’t achieve anything without a car and, despite being only a 10-minute ride, a taxi into Jackson was US$40.00 (AU$57.00) each way so we were limited to the convenience store that was linked to our hotel, one that closed at midnight. Now, one thing that needs to be made clear here for anyone who hasn’t suffered from jet-lag before is that it is simply agony, especially when it is the result of an excruciatingly long flight from South-East Asia to North America. Traveling to the west coast of the US isn’t quite as bad as the east, but it’s still awful — You are unable to keep your eyes open at 4:00pm, it’s almost as if you suffer from narcolepsy and you have no problem falling asleep once you go to bed if you make it to what would be the time you would normally sleep back home, but then you find yourself wide awake a couple of hours later at 3:00am, unable to switch back off. The one upside of that late-afternoon and onward period where it’s tough to stay awake is that you are also a little delirious and anything can become absolutely hilarious. That is the position in which we found ourselves at this point. Anyway, we went down to the convenience store, but there wasn’t a lot of food options and no alcohol, however, there was a microwave and an electric coffee maker in our room so we bought two packets of instant noodles, a large frozen pizza, some jerky, and a small turkey pot pie, as well as some Tabasco sauce and two bottles of sparkling water. Dinner would soon be served. We took our instant foodstuffs back to the motel, I went to the bathroom while Anna heated some water in the coffee maker for our noodles and upon return was informed of some unpleasant news — Our room was devoid of all cutlery and crockery. Never mind, she came up with the brilliant idea of using two coffee stirrers for chopsticks. This method worked perfectly between her Kermit the Frog-like fingers, but wasn’t conducive to particularly successful eating in my massive mitts, although I eventually managed in the end, much to Anna’s amusement. But this was nothing, things were only getting started. It was time to prepare our second course, a large, frozen, pepperoni pizza. This one we did have the equipment for, or so we thought. Our pizza was vacuum-sealed so I had to tear the inner package open with my teeth. Once done I also discovered it was a little large for the microwave, but on the other hand the microwave had a button specifically for pizza. Our pizza spun and spun, smearing cheese and tomato paste all over the inside of the oven and then it occured to me; This was America and that button was for reheating cold pizza, not cooking a frozen one. This was not some dual convection oven, this was a basic microwave and if you’ve ever tried to cook an unbaked bread product in a microwave before, you’ll be more than aware that it essentially just steams it. Our microwave was getting cheesier and pastier as time went on so we had no choice but to remove the pizza and cut it in half, sans knife. Anna’s inner-MacGuyver kicked in and she thought cutting through our steamed pizza with the cardboard base upon which it had come would be the best approach. The only problem was that there were no plates to put the two halves on so Anna gnawed half of her portion of the floppy, steamed pizza from the cardboard, laughing to the point of crying at how ridiculous the situation was, while at the same time lamenting that her half wasn’t cooked properly and quitting halfway through. I started to eat my share of the pizza from the glass base of the microwave, but agreed that it needed further steaming. Nothing an extra minute of heating couldn’t fix, I even got the crust to rise a little. We gave up on the idea of even attempting to eat the pie so I cleaned the cheese and tomato paste from the inside of the microwave using makeup-removing wipes, followed by washing the microwave base in the bathroom sink, leaving an oily, red ring around the basin. What better way is there to follow a hilariously bad meal than with a hilariously bad film? RoboCop was on TV so it seemed that our night had just planned itself. Some of the offerings on hand that evening:

On the menu tonight

Easy for the daintier among us

Not so much for the larger of the species

We tried to make it fit

Pure ingenuity

Going…

Gone.

Nothing some medicated wipes couldn’t fix

My half turned out okay for a steamed pizza

Sunday, July 7, 2019 It was tough staying asleep again that night and we were awake early so we did a check of the room to make sure there were no lasting repercussions of the steamed pizza episode, checked out of the motel, and waited for our ride to take us into town to pick up our rental car, snapping a few pictures in the process. Anna had done a little research and found a cafe and bakery called Persephone so we drove down once we had our Toyota Carola and pulled up an outdoor seat for brunch. The cafe was run by hipsters so it would probably be one of the only places around to get a half-decent cup of coffee, plus we had learnt our lesson the previous day so we only ordered an appetiser each, instead of bloating ourselves on a enormous main meal when we don’t usually even eat breakfast.

Before long our brunch was finished, but it was too early to check into our new hotel so we decided to have a look around the shops. We had never been to this part of the US so I was expecting it to be a bit like Fargo, either the film or the series, but I was pleasantly surprised, however, one thing needs to be said — There is a ton of taxidermy around these parts! Go into almost any store and there is going to be anything from stuffed jackalope creations on a small table, to stuffed and mounted elk and bison heads on the wall, to full bearskin rugs with the head still attached. Add to that the wide variety of redneck t-shirts and and cowboy gear on offer, fossilised animals, and bear shit-shaped chocolates and we had an interesting afternoon ahead of us. Anna likes to find a ring for every place she visits and although there were mainly ones with ugly turquoise stones, she managed to find a unique, black gold ring in a jewellery store that has an ancient elk tooth that is actually a remnant of a tusk from when elk hadn’t fully evolved into the animal we have today. I picked up a Wyoming t-shirt with different regional animal turds on the back. Once done, before checking into our hotel, we went to a supermarket because we wanted to see what you would find in a small town US supermarket in a sparsely-populated state and we weren’t left disappointed; there was an entire bar of different flavoured fried chicken wings, you could get 80 fl.oz (2.36lt) jars of pickles, but I guess that’s because there isn’t a lot else to do in this town, especially in winter, but eat. We just bought a foam cooler for later in the trip, as well as some other supplies, but we were delayed on the way back to the car when a gust of wind came up and blew the lid off the cooler, hitting an older Mexican man in the head in the parking lot. He felt guilty for some reason and chased after it, returning the lid to us.

We then went back and checked into our home for the next three nights, the Four Seasons Resorts and Residence Jackson Hole. It was a really nice place, our room was massive, and there was food and drinks for Anna’s conference in one of the downstairs conference rooms, as well as outside by some fire pits, so we just spent the night snacking and drinking with old colleagues and some new friends. I didn’t get any pictures from the evening, but here’s the motel from the previous night, the vibe of some of the stores, and our new room:

Our motel from the previous night

The Elk Refuge across the road from the motel, sans elk

On the way into town

Hanging out with what was once a bison

This stuff was everywhere!

Anna was worried she wouldn’t see any bears on this trip so she wanted this taken

As soon as I saw this book my post had a title

One of the finer volumes ever published on the topic of wild faeces recognition

Seriously, almost all shops are like this inside

You could just settle for a fur

The perfect gift for your coprophiliac friends

Anna was a fan of this Dolly Parton picture

Fossils for sale

Some of the redneck attire available

Part of the wing bar inside the supermarket

More wings

I should’ve put something else with these pickles for perspective

Looking into a small portion of our bathroom at the Four Seasons

Part of the room

The view from the bed

Monday, July 8, 2019 Anna’s conference began early each morning and finished around 1:00pm, which wasn’t an issue for either of us because of the jet-lag and even if we did manage to nod off again after waking up in the wee hours, we’d be wide awake again about 7:00am, just in time for the conference. Anna would go about her business in the morning and we had a Nespresso machine in our room so I would drink coffee and watch the NBA Summer League until she returned, but today didn’t look like it was officially the third week of summer, it was one of those outliers I mentioned at the beginning of this post; cold outside, about 13°C (55.4°F), and pouring rain. When Anna returned the rain had stopped, but it was still cold. We went and had lunch in neighbouring Teton Village and then took the arial tram up the mountain into the Jackson Hole Mountain Resort:

The Jackson Hole Mountain Resort (JHMR) is a ski resort in the western United States, at Teton Village, Wyoming. In the Teton Range of the Rocky Mountains, it is located in Teton County, 12 miles (20 km) northwest of Jackson and due south of Grand Teton National Park. It is named after the historically significant Jackson Hole valley and is known for its steep terrain and a large continuous vertical drop of 4,139 ft (1,262 m).

Jackson Hole’s original aerial tram was closed to the public in the fall of 2006 and replaced with a new tram that opened in 2008. The tram’s vertical rise is 4,139 feet (1,262 m) to an elevation of 10,450 feet (3,185 m) above sea level.

That explains a whole lot, because the previous day we had both felt a bit out of breath at times, but we didn’t realise that we were at that elevation. Denver, Colorado is known as the “Mile High City” due to its elevation and I experienced a little bit of breathlessness when I was there, but nothing like this. However, it turns out that at 5280 feet (1609.3 meters) above sea level, Denver is barely half the elevation of the Mountain Resort and only about three quarters the average elevation of the entire Jackson Hole valley, something we definitely weren’t prepared for.

Once we were at the summit it became abundantly clear that I was glad we had come in summer. People were saying that it had been snowing as recently as a week prior and before we arrived the previous day there had been a storm of enormous hailstones out of a clear sky! There was still a bit of snow on the ground and a fair bit on the peaks so we went inside the cabin there to have a cup of awful coffee and then started to explore around the area. People around here are completely oblivious to the cold, as was proven to us time and time again on this journey, the first evidence of this was locals walking around near the snow in shorts and t-shirts! We were only out a short while when an announcement came over stating that everybody needed to get back on the tram or be stranded in the cabin for an unknown period of time, because there was a thunderstorm coming and if lightning struck the metal platform for the tram, everyone standing on it would be fried. Instead of packing onto the tram, we sat in the cabin, drank more shitty coffee, walked around and got a bit wet outside, and waited for the next opportunity to leave, embracing the lack of children in the cabin and the space in the tram, all the while the operator played classic rock on our descent and we spotted foxes and marmots on the mountain. Our day up until that point:

A little grim outside our hotel window that morning

A challange in the restaurant in our hotel. That’s almost a 1kg burger and a litre of beer

Heading into Teton Village

“Hey, let’s go up there!”

Beginning our ascent

A panoramic view of the summit

Anna was complaining that the wind was making her teeth hurt

These people are fearless

Coming over a bit bleak

Making the most of everyone else fleeing

It’s nicer up here alone

A fox running around

Now beginning our descent

Another fox in the snow

About halfway down

Most shops and restaurants in and around Jackson close at 10:00pm so we decided to take the opportunity to drive into town and get our outfits for the Western-themed dinner the following night. It was also essential that we remembered to refer to the clothing as our “outfits” and not “costumes,” because this is how a large portion of the local population actually dress every day, including some of those in attendance.

We found several stores selling what we needed and it soon became abundantly clear why cowboys used to rob banks and shoot people back in the day — It was so they could steal money to buy their clothes! The reason I mentioned the Calvin Klein suit that I had purchased in Los Angeles a couple of days earlier for US$355.00 was for a comparison. For my “outfit” for the dinner I figured I’d get a Western shirt, some boots maybe with a fringe running up the side, a hat, possibly some chaps, but those dreams were all shattered when I saw the prices. A shirt was at least US$100.00, most pushing US$200.00. It was impossible to get a pair of boots my sizes for much less than US$500.00. I even found the sweater The Dude wears in the film The Big Lobowski, marketed as such and it was US$239.00! For a zip-up woollen sweater! Fortunately, I was able to snag a shirt for US$59.00 on a post-fourth of July sale rack and when you see it you’ll realise why, plus a cheap hat for another US$39.00 (all plus tax, of course).

We looked around a few of the areas of town that we didn’t explore the previous day and soon it was time for dinner. We’re not used to this cooler weather, plus we both love cheese, so what better option could there possibly be than fondue? We found a place called Alpenhof Lodge that had fondue back in Teton village near our hotel, then settled into a bar claiming to be “World famous” called the Mangy Moose Steakhouse and Saloon for a few beers and some live country music, or “Farm Emo” as I like to call it, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last time we’d be listening to it on this journey. A pattern we would discover while in this part of the country was that bars close at 11:00pm no matter what day it is, but we still managed to have a good time that night before walking back to our place to try to get some much needed sleep. How the rest of the day looked:

In another arch made from discarded elk antlers. There are a few of these around

I see what they did there….

The main street of Jackson

I love ‘The Big Lobowski’, but I’m not paying that much

$567.00 is the sale price for a very small pair of boots

That’s the original!

All the cars here are enormous!

Someone’s excited for fondue

There was a ‘Galaga’ machine where we had dinner, too

Settling into the Mangy Moose

Our entertainment for the night

They inexplicably have an original 1950s Las Vegas showgirl costume framed on the wall near the toilets there…

…as well as what looks like the evolution of bear traps

Tuesday, July 9, 2019 It was our last full day in Jackson prior to moving on to the holiday leg of our stay and the weather was nice so we had to make the most of it before I made a complete fool of myself in front of a bunch of strangers that night. I did my usual routine — a coffee and NBA Summer League — before Anna returned home, we had a bite for lunch, and then she confirmed what she had been considering the previous day as a way to fill in today; we were going to go whitewater rafting on Snake River:

The Snake River is a major river of the greater Pacific Northwest region in the United States. At 1,078 miles (1,735 km) long, it is the largest tributary of the Columbia River, in turn the largest North American river that empties into the Pacific Ocean.

Formed by the confluence of three tiny streams on the southwest flank of Two Oceans Plateau in Yellowstone National Park, western Wyoming, the Snake starts out flowing west and south into Jackson Lake. Its first 50 miles (80 km) run through Jackson Hole, a wide valley between the Teton Range and the Gros Ventre Range. Below the tourist town of Jackson, the river turns west and flows through Snake River Canyon, cutting through the Snake River Range and into eastern Idaho.

When Anna gets her mind set on something her intent is always to do it properly, however, I didn’t have to worry about her inadvertently signing up to do the full length of the river, just a stretch of about eight miles (12.8km) through Snake River Canyon, an area known to have some of the best whitewater rafting in the US. There were several options regarding the size of rafts and the amounts of people thereon, but we wanted to keep it intimate so we opted for one with room for eight people plus our guide. Our journey down the river was going to consist of Anna and myself, as well as Adrian, one of Anna’s colleagues that works in Sydney, Australia, and Nicole, an ophthalmologist we had met at the conference that we got on well with from Chicago. The other four spots would be taken up by some randoms that wanted to join us, which ended up being a family of four from Oregon. We took a shuttle bus for about an hour to the point in the river where our journey would begin. For a few dollars extra you could rent a wetsuit, but it was a nice, warm day so everyone besides Adrian and Nicole decided they didn’t need one, a decision we would all regret in hindsight. We all put on some sunscreen, the combination with Adrian’s black wetsuit making him look a pale shade of blue, as if he had a vitamin-D deficiency or maybe it was just his first ever time in actual sunlight, but he would have the last laugh. Once we had donned our lifejackets we pushed the raft out into a calm part of the river, boarded, and Hunter, our guide who was also clearly a massive stoner that had his own radio show with his friend, gave us our instructions as we floated downstream, informing us on how to react to each command, what to do if we have an “out of boat experience,” that type of thing. You could tell from a million miles away that this dude spent the nine months of the year that weren’t summer completely baked in neighbouring Colorado, just punching decriminalised cones and snowboarding. One thing that he said, however, had me a little worried; he told me I was going to freeze in my cotton t-shirt. Should’ve opted for the wetsuit. After receiving our advice and instructions we started to hit some small rapids, but it was when the first wave sprayed over our boat that we truly realised that this river was formed from glacial runoff and was absolutely freezing. The four of us were seated in the back two rows of the boat, the family in the front two with the father and the teenaged son having volunteered to be at the very front of the boat. Every time we hit a rough patch that sent water over us the teenaged kid seemed to cop it the worst and from the very first time you could just see him perpetually shivering and his teeth audibly chattering the entire ride. It was a really great time, the scenery was stunning, and it was hilarious when we would see a capsized boat or people doing something stupid and a possibly still-stoned Hunter would make chicken noises and yell either “Utah” or “Florida” at them, the latter an obvious reference to the less than stunning track record people from that state have in the common sense department. Not all of the people in the water were in there accidentally, though. Some of them were swimming! I mentioned earlier about how these people are impervious to cold and some thought a dip in the frigid waters was rather refreshing, one group even turning their inflatable boat upside-down and used it as a slip-n-slide. Me? I was soaked in my t-shirt, probably shouldn’t have worn socks either, my hands and feet were wrinkled and completely devoid of any colour whatsoever. In my own defence, it wasn’t the kind of boat I was expecting and I didn’t think I would get quite so wet, but we had an absolute blast and I’m just thankful I didn’t have an “out of boat experience.” Here’s a few shots from inside the boat, some of our group, and a couple more of our beautiful surroundings:

Heading down to the water behind the family that would be joining us

Yup, we’ll be on a small one of those

All aboard!

And we’re off

Going to have to put the camera away and paddle soon

Adrian, Anna, Hunter, Nicole, and my saturated self

The upside-down boat is the slip-n-slide

It doesn’t look that rough, but it certainly was

Another area of the river

Looking back on from where we had come

We got back in the shuttle bus and made the one hour trip back to the hotel, trying to get the feeling back in our lower extremities the entire way, as the moment we had spent a large portion of the previous day shopping for was almost upon us; when we arrived back at the hotel it would be time for us to start getting ready for the Western-themed dinner. I was a little nervous about the dinner for the sole reason that when I purchased my cowboy shirt, it was one of those seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time moments. You see, as I mentioned, the shirt was on a discount rack for fourth of July stock that the store now needed to get rid of, but this wasn’t just any old shirt — It was an extremely ugly shirt with a design based on the good ol’ stars ‘n’ bars. Yes, my shirt was a particularly patriotic-looking one that resembled the American flag and I was worried the irony would be lost on some at the event. Admittedly, it really was the cheapest shirt I could find, but my concern was that some people wouldn’t find it anywhere near as funny as we initially did. At least there would be others that would look just as stupid as I would, as Adrian had just ordered a generic cowboy costume online and this was his first time even trying it on, although we had to remind him to refrain from calling it a “costume,” because it closely resembled the wardrobes of some in attendance.

When we arrived there was a live country band churning out some more Farm Emo so Anna started to do the rounds, chatting to colleagues, friends, and acquaintances and I hit the bar, which had some really good local microbrews available. Soon it was time to sit down for dinner, but not long after we were seated some of the organisers wanted to get everybody up again to do line-dancing and they were relentless! They just wouldn’t take a “no” for an answer, but fortunately they also weren’t going to get a “yes” out of myself. It was a good thing too, because the end result wasn’t pretty:

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As you can clearly see some people got a little more into the line dancing than others, possibly even enjoying themselves, as is also evident here:

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The food started to come out and the line-dancing devolved into just regular dancing to country music for those that refused to give up the dance floor. Dinner was good, but there weren’t a whole lot of options and there was one woman on our table who had allergies to seafood and nuts, as well as being lactose intolerant, ruling out the bulk of what was served to her. The night continued on, but one thing that occurs when drinking at high altitudes is it takes you nowhere near as much to get drunk so the crowd started to peter out a little as people began to realise they were getting sleepy and went back to their rooms. As for Anna, Nicole, and myself, we decided to hit up the Mangy Moose again, joined by a cool pharmaceutical representative from Chicago we had met, Tony. We hung around in the Mangy Moose until they were going to close, the girls getting served special, albeit exceptionally strong, house Slurpee cocktails. When the Moose closed, we headed back to our rooms, myself content in the knowledge that I would never need to wear that shirt ever again. Or so I thought; one of our plans for this trip was to attend a rodeo and Anna was insistent that I wear it, fully aware that it could possibly get me killed. Anyway, here’s how the dinner and drinks looked:

This is what I’d be rocking

More Farm Emo

On the menu tonight

Some really got into the line-dancing

The table centrepiece

It was a fun night, but I couldn’t dress like this all the time

Back at the Mangy Moose

The next day we had lunch with Tony and then drove out to Grand Teton National Park to begin the holiday leg of our journey.

Stay tuned for the conclusion to this story to see us exploring the US Pacific Northwest and “glamping” in Grand Teton National Park, as well as staying in the world famous Yellowstone National Park, encountering more than our share of geysers and wildlife along the way. If that doesn’t interest you, at least check to see if I have my Borat moment at a rodeo:

via GIPHY

Hanging out in Wyoming, an American state that some don't even believe exists It's been a while since I've checked in because we've had a relatively quiet two months, until now that is.

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hockeyfun · 7 years ago

Text

Auston Matthews #4

Requested by @verywell-fandango : One where x is a female hockey player and she goes on a date with auston to an ice rink and they play together if you can of course

Warnings: pain, cussing, and sexual tension

Word count: 3194

Author’s note: It’s a pretty long one Idk there is just something about Auston Matthews that brings out the most creative in me. I love writing stories about the main character playing hockey. Thank you so much for the awesome request.

You finally made your move to Toronto. You had just been traded from the the Calgary Inferno of the CWHL (Canadian Women Hockey League) to the Markham Thunder. It was a blessing and although all trades suck, you weren’t too mad about it. Your boyfriend was Auston Matthews, the star player of the Toronto Maple Leafs. You were finally going to be close to him again.

You had a very similar upbringing as Auston. You had grown up in Arizona, and you were 3 years old when you went to your first hockey game. It was an LA Kings game and you fell in love with the sport. When you were about 12 years old, it was obvious that you were excelling in this sport. Because the hockey culture in Phoenix on the the woman’s side was a bit underdeveloped, and to ensure that you kept growing in the sport, your parents made the transition to have you play in the boys league. That’s where you met Auston. You had played with him and his team for almost 4 years. At the beginning the two of you just clicked on the ice. It was obvious who the best on the team was. Like on most hockey teams, you became best friends with your line mates, but more specifically Auston. When Auston was drafted into the Juniors at 16, it was finally time for you two to separate paths in the hockey world. It was then that you made him promise that when he got to the NHL draft that he had to bring you.

You finished high school early at 17 and got recruited to go to school and play at an NCAA college, while also playing for the Woman USA national teams. Although Auston and you went separate ways, you still kept in touch and cheered for each other no matter where you were. While Auston was in Zurich you were finishing up at the University of Minnesota. You were young compared to everyone else, but it was all apart of the plan. You were a fast paced person and wanted to reach your goals as fast as possible hence why the graduating early. After your team won the National Championship, you were ready to move on. Taking summer school and playing your heart out for your school led you to be recognized in the women’s hockey world. Auston was proud of you, and when he realized that he was going to be picked in the first round of the NHL draft, he invited you, keeping his promise.

You accepted the moment he called you. You flew into Buffalo from Calgary on the day of. It was the first time you and Auston had seen each other in person since your younger days. You booked a hotel room in the same hotel as him and waited in the lobby after settling into your room. You were wearing jean shorts, a loose white tank top, and a light sweater over it. You weren’t wearing any makeup but mascara and your hair was naturally wavy. Auston remembers this moment vividly. You had definitely grown up. You filled out beautifully from your awkward athletic body as a 16 year old. He saw you first which let him take you in. Your glowing personally was radiating off of you as you talked to the random person next to you. He was with his mom when this happened, she saw it on his face right then. She knew her son had fallen in love. Finally you turned from the random person and saw Auston. You weren’t ready for the rush of emotions that caused you to physically launch yourself into his arms. “Auston,” you yelled. He caught you effortlessly and enjoyed having you close to him. You had pulled yourself apart from him but still held on. He had gotten bigger and stronger. He looked the same but completely different at the same time. You grasped his biceps taking him in. “Oh my gosh, Auston. You’ve gotten huge,” you commented. You looked up at his face, he let out a small laugh at your comment. Auston smelled good. It was a mixture of a warm vanilla and musk smell. It fit his latino background. After saying hello to his mom and later the rest of his family you departed from them to get ready for the draft. Auston was nervous for the night. Although he was certain he’d be going to the Toronto Maple Leafs, this moment was still nerve racking for him. It didn’t help that when he saw you in your dress with your hair and makeup done he was overtaken with even more emotions. You too were overtaken with pride when seeing Auston in his suit. There was another emotion lingering in the background that you only knew now as love. You could tell he was super nervous because he didn’t smile a lot at your quirky jokes. You wished you were able to sit next to him for this and help him calm down but you knew his family deserved it more and you were content just being there. You remember the emotions of hearing Auston’s name being called by the Maple Leafs. His entire entourage, including you, were crying. He hugged you last and in the quick second you told him how proud you were of him. Eventually after the first round you were able to go backstage to see him. You and his family saw him talking to some Maple Leafs personal. What you couldn’t hear was that they were telling him they wanted to do a bit of a tribute to his drafting, and they want to know who you were. The marketing woman fell in love with your friendship story. Two big stars in their hockey worlds having a path that crossed multiple times. As he was talking to them you wondered around. You wanted to see everything from this event, an event that every hockey player dreams of but one you’ll never experience because of being a woman. You met a few of the other draftees, like Pierre-Luc Dubois and Patrick Laine, eventually you returned to his family. Auston came over to you all and took in this incredible moment. His family wanted to celebrate by going out to eat. You politely declined to go with them. You knew they needed to celebrate without you. You decided to get something to eat at the hotel. You were in the lobby hanging out when Pierre-Luc Dubois, the third pick by the Columbus Blue Jackets, and his family came back from them celebrating. He saw you and remembered you so he felt comfortable coming to talk to you. He was obviously enraptured by you after getting to know who you were. He was in awe by your accomplishments as a woman’s hockey player. You didn’t realize how late you were talking to him till Auston and his family came back. They were obviously still on a natural high from the night as the came in a bit loudly. Your heart grew in happiness to see them like this. “Auston,” you yelled. He turned and his smile was evident until he saw you talking to PL. He motioned to his family to keep going. He came over to you and the vibe was obviously different for him. He saw the competition in PL’s eyes as the more he got protective over you. You noticed it but honestly you tried ignoring it but eventually it was too much. To diffuse the situation you told PL that you were getting tired and it was time for you and Auston to leave. You thanked him for a wonderful evening and congratulated him on his draft. He was taken aback a little but said his goodbye. Auston was silent most of the way up to your room. You finally asked him what was up when you reached your room. That’s when it all came out and he kissed you passionately for the first time.

Your relationship with Auston was history after that. It was hard as you both played professionally in other cities, but you guys did it. Now you were going to be living in Toronto with him. You two will be going back to Arizona for a few weeks since it was summer but you needed to feel a little more settled in Toronto before you left. You had only been there for a few days when Auston asked you if you wanted to train with him and the boys. You agreed. When you got into the Maple Leafs training room, you left Auston and company behind. They had a different regime for their workout. By the end of the two hours all of you were sweating your asses off, but you weren’t done. It was time to get on the ice. You had luckily brought your gear and went to a different locker room to change. It was your first time being back on the ice with Auston since playing with him as a kid. Both of your games had changed so much you were a bit nervous to have him see you play. After a few drills the workout got lazy. You all went to the bench to get some water, “Man, I’d really like to see you play,” Mitch spoke to you. “dude, she’s incredible,” Auston spoke proudly of you making your heart flutter. “We could play right now?” Morgan Rielly offered. Mitch grew excited by this idea, “Yes we should. We could play two on two.” You looked at Auston your boyfriend to see what he wanted to do. He shrugged at you as if to say ‘why not’. You nodded your head in agreement to his shrug. “I hate when you guys do that,” Mitch shook his head. You looked at him confused. “Do what?” “The communicating without talking thing,” he motioned between you two. You never really noticed that you and Auston did that but it was a bit funny now that he pointed it out. “Well get ready because me and my girl do it even better on the ice,” Auston joked back. He wrapped his arm over your shoulder. It reeked like most hockey gear does, “Ugh,” you shrugged it off, “you smell terrible.”

You skated to the middle of the ice with Auston. You were a bit nervous to play against all of them but even more nervous about playing with Auston. You hadn’t played with Auston since you were younger and although you had a more intimate relationship with the man, you were worried you wouldn’t click with him like you used to. You breathed in and let your instincts take over. You didn’t have to think. Hockey was fast and your brain just did what you needed it do.Mitch and Mo weren’t ready for your ability. They were quick to recover. Playing with Auston was as easy as you remembered. The man was incredible and the two of you complimented each other well. The two of you found each other on the ice with ease. It seemed like you were always one step ahead of Mo and Mitch, but neither teams could score. You all were too evenly matched. Mitch had the puck and tried to fake a pass to Mo but instead slap shotted it towards the net. You were quick to get your body to block the shot. It hit you in calf of your leg causing a deep ripple of pain to break through your body. You didn’t scream but you let out a very intense cuss word. Your muscle began to spasm. The boys rushed over to you. Embarrassment coursed through your body because of their concern. Auston ripped of his helmet and gloves. “Are you okay?” he spoke frantically already untying your skate and getting ready to tear of your gear. “Stop,” you pushed his hands away, “I’m fine,” you lied. You weren’t sure if you were alright or not but the adrenaline helped you not feel the pulsing pain. “Just help me up,” you asked. “I’m so sorry,” Mitch spoke worryingly. You rolled your eyes at him trying to show him you were okay, “Mitch, I’m fine. I’m a hockey player this isn’t the first time i’ve been hit by a puck,” you reassured him. Auston glared at Mitch, to diffuse the situation you looked up at your boyfriend and held up your hand, “Matthews, I need help getting up and making sure I’m okay.” He turned to you full of concern. Mo ran off the ice to grab an ice pack. You stood up and felt the huge knot the puck had created in your calf but it was doable. The pain was bad but it wasn’t your worse. You played the national championship in Minnesota with a fractured ankle. Auston, Mitch, and the now returned Mo’s faces were filled with concern that made you angry. “I’m fine let's keep playing,” you commanded. “No, it’s too much. You need to see the trainer,” Auston spoke to you. You glared at him. Once again unspoken communication rippled through you both. He wanted you to see the trainer. You wanted to ignore it all. He understood your point though. You wanted to keep playing. You were angry and wanted to win the friendly completion game. You understood his argument too. He didn’t want you to get even more hurt. this game was irrelevant. You also fought that argument, you were having so much fun playing with Auston again. You didn’t want that to end either. Eventually you won the argument. “Okay, fine. next goal wins,” he rolled his eyes. “Yes,” you cheered. Mitch and Mo’s faces were still laced with concern. You could tell they didn’t want to keep playing. “I’m fine,” you spoke and skated around to show them you were. Your calf screamed in pain but you ignored it. They eventually accepted the only way to get you off the ice was for the competition to end. You were back to game mode. You played with a new intensity which caused the boys to also play with it. You had the puck and rushed it down the ice. You saw Auston in the corner matched up against Mitch. You tried to fake Mo out by a shot but it didn’t phase him. Eventually you saw an opening for Auston as he skated around the net. You passed it to him. He shot the puck but Mitch blocked it with his skate. It bounced off his skate near you. You pushed off the ice in pursuit to the puck. Mo wasn’t ready for your burst of speed and was a second too late as you shot the puck into the back of the net. You rose your hands in victory and heard Auston’s loud cheering come closer to you. He crashed into you while wrapping his arms around you and picking you up. He spun you around and once you were back on the ground he put his helmet close to yours. “That's my girl,” he whispered. You smiled at him. Pain still pulsing from your leg. “Okay, okay love birds. You wore me out,” Mo spoke. He was breathing loudly. Your adrenaline was finally settling down. “Help me off the ice,” you asked Auston. He nodded his head understandingly. He wrapped his arm around your waist and skated you both to the bench. “Next time, I want her on my team,” Mitch told you all. “No, I get her,” Mo fought back. Your heart swelled at the fact they wanted there to be a next time. “Sorry, guys she was my liney first,” Auston spoke over his shoulder. He never let you go as he practically carried you to the locker room you were using. He sat you down. It was just you two. Austin began unlacing your skates. And took them off for you. You two didn’t speak at all. You both worked in harmony to get both of your gears off each other. It was like you two were dancing. Finally you stood there in just shorts and a sports bra. Auston was also standing with just his shorts on. Your body close to touching his. Every hill and valley created by his muscles glistened with sweat. You were breathing heavy because of the dense tension in the room. Auston placed both of his large hands on your shoulders and gently pushed you to sit down on the locker room bench. He kept his hands on your shoulder. In this position he looked bigger and stronger than ever. “We still play well together,” you said through heavy breaths. “It’s not the only thing we do well together,” he suggestively replied. Your heart quickened at his words. He bent down. His lips just close enough for you to kiss but instead of stopping he kept going till he was kneeling on the ground in front of you. He took your hurt leg and placed the ankle on his shoulder. You took in a sharp breath. He turned to face where your leg was bruised. It was already an ugly deep color. It reflected the fact that it was definitely a bone bruise. Auston lightly touched near the bruise. You yelped in pain yet some of it was also in pleasure. Auston looked up at you. His big brown eyes sparkled under his eyelashes. He turned back toward your bruise and gave it a light kiss. Then slowly he continued kissing up your leg. You leaned your head back in bliss. This man was trying to kill you. He was taking his time upward. Chills ran through your body. His lips tickled and burned your inner thigh. He was just a few kisses away from where you wanted him to be when you heard a knock on the door and both your and Auston’s names being called. “Are you both in there?” Mitch asked. Auston was slow to move from his position but when he did you felt the lack of heat. “Yes, I’m just helping her get to her feet and get her to the trainer,” he responded a bit huskily. You didn’t hear a response from Mitch which made you assume he had left. Auston looked back down at you, “I really do need to get you to the trainer,” he sighed sadly. He began packing up your things. You tried to stand up to help him but you crippled from the pain in your leg. Auston was quick to drop everything and hold onto you. “I was not expecting it to hurt that much,” you whispered. “I’m fine,” you spoke and tried again. This time you were able to walk. You limped around. Each step you became more acquainted with the pain in your leg. Auston stared at you with so much concern and love. “You are one hell of a girl,” he spoke with pride, “now lets get you to the trainer and then home.” You nodded your head in agreement, “so we can finish what we started,” you responded.

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it1776 · 3 years ago

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youtube

The Best Nintendo Switch Controller Review

The Pro Controller is fine.

I still recommend it to most people

but if you play a lot of 2D games that the D-Pad placement

just isn't gonna cut it. 8BitDo is been making

fantastic Deepak controllers for a while now.

I originally recommended the old SN30

if you wanted to play a lot of 2D games.

Its biggest flaw was it's ergonomics, making it hard to play

3D games with its thumb sticks.

They fixed that with the release of the SN30 Pro+

a near-perfect controller that quickly became

my favorite controller for the Switch.

I used it so much that I ran it into the ground

and had to buy a new one recently. Almost two years later,

they finally released an updated version,

simply called the 8BitDo Pro 2.

Thank God that name was starting to be a mouthful.

This version adds a lot

to the already fantastic Pro Controller alternative.

If you are on the fence about getting one before,

this one will for sure give you

a couple of pretty good reasons to reconsider.

(upbeat music)

This video is sponsored by Aspyr, the guys who brought you,

the Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy Switch ports

are now bringing you Star Wars Republic Commando.

It's finally on Nintendo Switch

and PlayStation 4 for just 1499.

Check it out at the link in the description below.

Whoa! Whoa! Come on, dude.

Chaos has erupted throughout the galaxy.

As leader of an elite squad of Republic Commandos,

your mission is to infiltrate, dominate,

and ultimately annihilate the enemy. You will play as Boss,

leader of the special ops unit Delta Squad

together with Fixer, Scorch and Sev

working together as a team

instinctively, intelligently, instantly. You guys all right.

I was here first and then you guys just came.

Battle a variety of highly intelligent and deadly enemies

from brutal Trandoshan mercenaries, all right.

To the flying insectoid warriors of Geonosis.

This game was originally released in 2005

and I think is a crucial part of Star Wars history.

I love this era of Star Wars games and I love that Aspyr

is putting some games from this era on the Switch.

So again, you can try it for yourself for just 1499

at the link in the description below.

(water bubbling)

Sorry anybody got a USB-C charger.

(water bubbling).

So if you're new here

the biggest reason why I recommend this controller

is because of the D-pad. It's perfectly clicky.

It feels almost exactly like an original S.N.E.S controller

but you know, newer obviously. But it also has

all of the makings of a great modern controller.

It's thumb sticks feel almost exactly

like a DualShock 4 thumb sticks, making this a great option

for 3D games if you need something that could do both.

Here's something I often forget to mention.

It comes with a rechargeable battery, but it can be removed

and replaced with two double A's if you're in a bind,

something Microsoft should take note of.

It also has great motion controls and rumble.

The only thing that it's missing

that the Nintendo Pro Controller has is NFC.

But at the significantly lower price point,

are you really gonna be missing NFC that much?

The original SN30 Pro+ was and still is $45.

This new one bumps the price up to $50,

which is still a reasonable price

and some harsh competition for Nintendo's $70 controller.

It also works on Switch, Windows, Mac, Android,

and Raspberry Pi via Bluetooth, which is great

if you wanna play emulators or 2D games via Steam.

It's an all-around great controller

and I haven't even mentioned any of the new features yet.

Everything that I've said is also available

on the older $45 model.

The Pro 2 Sports 2 assignable back buttons.

This is a very welcome addition

and something I wish more controllers included.

My only gripe here is that

they're a little too easy to press. They're very large.

It's very difficult to grip the controller

without touching these buttons with your middle fingers.

In an intense game of Mario Maker

I accidentally press these buttons many times.

Luckily, by default they're assigned to nothing.

So pressing them did nothing at all.

You can assign functions to these buttons

using the brand new 8BitDo companion app.

In fact, you can remap all of the buttons

using the companion app.

And there are three different assignable profiles

that you can swap between on the fly.

Technically there's four because

there's just a baseline default one which is great

for when you don't wanna accidentally hit the back buttons.

Pressing this button right here switches between the modes.

There's off one, two and three.

In addition to remapping the buttons,

this software also allows you to fix the sticks dead zones.

It's also supposed to let you fix the trigger sensitivity,

but I couldn't figure out how to do that in the app.

I can only figure out how to do that on the desktop version.

But I like having my trigger sensitivity set really high

so they're like hair triggers because almost no Switch games

registered trigger sensitivity anyway.

Upon further review it seems that they disabled

the trigger sensitivity tab for the Switch.

So they got rid of trigger sensitivity

entirely for the Switch which is weird

'cause there are games that could still use it.

But if you go to Android or DInput or whatever,

it shows the trigger sensitivity, which is very strange.

You can also adjust vibration levels and of course,

macros, which go great with the new additional back buttons.

Previously, I used to assign macros to the share button.

Now I don't have to, unfortunately, the macro functionality

still, isn't very intuitive. You have to program it yourself

in the app, one button at a time. You can set the timings

between button presses but that's way harder to do

than just inputting a macro yourself on the controller

and having it record your inputs.

Something I've seen in a few other devices lately.

I hope that 8BitDo can eventually update

the Ultimate software and the Pro 2's firmware

to have this sort of functionality.

Because right now the macro function is pretty much

all only useful for like fighting games.

They did add the ability

to use thumb stick inputs for macros.

So if you have more patience than me

you can figure out some macros for Smash Brothers.

What might be more useful is assigning a turbo button

which is useful for many games, namely Animal Crossing.

I have a whole video on that if you're interested.

The old Pro+ had a turbo function but with this new Pro 2,

it might be worth it to assign one of the back buttons

to enable the turbo function. You can also have

the other back button assigned to hold.

So it will hold down a button forever.

So you can breeze through long menus or something.

Another useful feature that was recently added.

You can set the left stick to be swapped with the D-pad.

This is useful for games like Link's Awakening,

which should have D-pad support, but it doesn't.

There's also an option

to swap the right stick with the triggers.

I think that's some fighting games.

But my favorite part about this new mobile app

is that it allows you to change your settings on the fly.

You don't have to disconnect it from your Switch at all.

You can have it connected to your Switch

and the app at the same time.

This is something that you could not do

with the previous desktop app. This is huge for figuring out

the timing of macros or finding out the right button mapping

for yourself and immediately trying it out in the field.

One of my least favorite things

about wireless controllers like this

is connecting it to the Switch.

I often find myself just (indistinct) the button

till it finally comes up.

This controller alleviates some of that pain

by adding a mode switch on the back.

On the previous Pro+ you had to hold Start and Y

to enter switch mode. Windows, Android, and iOS,

all had different corresponding face buttons.

You expect me to remember all those.

There was also no indication

what mode you were currently in.

Now it's as easy as just flipping the switch.

You have Nintendo Switch, Apple DInput and XInput.

XInput is for Windows and Android.

DInput is for like old. I don't know it's

just probably don't worry about it. Other than all that

the only other real difference is it's enhanced grip

which is really just a textured back

similar to the textured back

of the new DualSense controller.

Other than that, this controller feels exactly the same

as the old SN30 Pro+ controller.

Switching between the two reveals that the face buttons

feel more responsive on the newer one.

Maybe it's because it's newer

and I used the shit out of my old one.

It's hard to tell.

- Oh no. - Hit the button, dude.

I think this controller.

(upbeat game music)

You know, I'll try, I'll try the top ones.

The buttons, the build quality, everything feels the same.

The Pro 2 comes in gray, black and GB edition.

I pre-ordered myself the Game Boy looking one

so I'll be getting that one when it eventually comes out.

But 8BitDo sent me their gray edition one, which looks like

it's attempting to resemble a PlayStation 1 controller.

It's an okay design. The A, B, X, Y buttons

colored like PlayStation buttons is like unsettling.

It's like a sin. The strongest design that they have

is definitely the Game Boy looking at one.

8BitDo used to have controllers that looked almost exactly

like Super Nintendo and N.E.S controllers,

but I'm sure they strayed away from that

so that they weren't bullied by Nintendo's lawyers.

It's also probably why they don't have

a Super Nintendo looking one at all anymore.

But I mean, the feel of the controller

is more important than anything else. And for 2D games,

there's nothing better than this,

until you find your Lord and Savior keyboard keys baby.

So if you haven't yet picked yourself up a 8BitDo controller

now might be the time to make the jump.

$5 extra for the back buttons,

the updated Ultimate software, the mode switch,

the custom profiles that can switch on the fly.

Yeah, I'd say it's worth it to get this version

over the original or Pro. Now is it worth upgrading to

if you already have an original SN30 Pro+.

That I'm not sure about.

Maybe if yours is starting to feel like shitty.

I know mine started to feel like

a little unresponsive, I guess.

I don't know how to describe it other than

it just got shitty and then I had to buy a new one.

But if you're perfectly content with your original SN30 Pro+

then it's probably not worth dropping an extra $50

on a brand new controller. It's like 90% the same controller

and about 10% new hotness. Or maybe I'm sure

you could find a way to justify it.

Maybe you could teach your grandma how to do Kaizo Mario.

What do you guys think about the brand new 8BitDo Pro 2?

It's a lot easier to say at this time.

Is this gonna make you finally make the jump

into getting an 8BitDo controller? Or it's something that

you would consider upgrading to from the original?

I don't think you really need to

unless like yours got like old crappy.

If you have a Nintendo Switch Pro controller already,

and you find yourself playing way more 2D games

this might be worth getting in addition to.

I mean it's like a second,

you get a second player with it to.

Leave in the comments below, add me on Twitter

and all this social media garbage.

As always we have new videos here all the time,

at least once a week.

This week, I think you're getting two, lucky you.

And we got streams over on twitch.tv/wulffden

where we can hang out and chat with each other

about stuff like this. Look at that.

Make sure you turn on notifications for all of that stuff

so you know, when we go live

'cause you can't rely on YouTube or Twitch to tell you.

But of course the most important thing right now

is just subscribe. Thank you.

I appreciate you for wanting to watch these videos.

And share this video with a friend.

A friend who maybe hasn't gotten

one of these controllers yet and it's still stuck

with the freaking regular role Pro controller.

Or maybe they're using the freaking split Joy-Cons

like a real, degenerate.

(gentle music)

Thank you. Have a good week.

#Youtube

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your-dietician · 3 years ago

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2021 NBA Draft Prospect Profiles: Corey Kispert

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/nba/2021-nba-draft-prospect-profiles-corey-kispert/

2021 NBA Draft Prospect Profiles: Corey Kispert

Over the next month, GBB will be profiling various players the Memphis Grizzlies may target in the 2021 NBA Draft. This year we will be breaking it up in to three sections – five to likely trade up for, five potentially available right around pick #17 where Memphis is slotted to pick, and five that surely will be there or perhaps the Grizzlies could even trade back and still select.

The first we’ll examine in the “potentially available” category is Corey Kispert from Gonzaga.

COREY KISPERT, WING, UNIVERSITY OF GONZAGA

6’7”, 220 pounds (6’7” wingspan), 22-years-old, Shoreline, WA.

Four seasons at Gonzaga—27.4 minutes per game, 11.6 points per game, 48.3% from the field, 40.8% from three, 82.4 % from free throw line, 4.0 rebounds, 1.4 assists, 0.7 steals.

STATS OF STRENGTH: Three-point shooting (44% as a senior), PER (25.3), true shooting percentage (67%)

STATS TO IMPROVE: Assist percentage (9.0%)

ACCOLADES AND AWARDS: Consensus first-team All-American (2021), Julius Erving Award (2021), WCC Player of the Year (2021), 2× First-team All-WCC (2020, 2021), Academic All-American of the Year (2021)

CURRENT BIG BOARD PLACEMENTS: 13th (ESPN), 13th (Tankathon), 9th (Athletic), 13th (Ringer), 15th (CBS Sports)

youtube

I’m going to make this simple right from the jump: Corey Kispert is the best shooter in the 2021 NBA Draft, and he far brings more than just pure shooting to the table. He’s a winner in every sense of the word; in college basketball where 20 wins is generally viewed as the barometer of success, he never won less than 30 games over four years at Gonzaga, and he was their best player for the last two years. He’s a savvy ball-handler, a high-IQ defender, and an absurdly efficient scorer from every area on the court.

The dude is a baller.

Unfortunately for him and his draft stock, “ageism”—a topic which I discussed at length last November—has continued to be a trend in prospect evaluation. NBA executives and talent evaluators usually prioritize younger, rawer talent with more perceived upside over more accomplished, but older players that they deem to be much closer to finished products. It was a significant factor in why the Grizzlies were able to get steals in Brandon Clarke, Desmond Bane, and Xavier Tillman in consecutive drafts, and it could be how they end up with Corey Kispert.

They are, of course, questions beyond his age and perceived lack of upside. His overall athleticism is questionable and leads one to wonder whether he can hold his own defensively in the pace-and-space NBA.

But as far as expected production is concerned, Corey Kispert is about as close to a sure thing that you’re ever going to find in an NBA Draft. He will not fail, and if he is available at 17, then the Grizzlies will probably not have to think about it for too long.

Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports

There really isn’t much more to be said about Corey Kispert’s ability as a shooter. He ranked 6th in the nation as a senior in 3PT% (44%) on 6.5 attempts per game , and he was the only player in the top-8 of that category to have attempted at least 200 threes. Whether it was off-ball relocations, down screens, or just extremely deep heaves in spot-up situations, he stretched opposing defenses to their breaking point.

Incredible 32-point performance for Gonzaga sharpshooter Corey Kispert in a win over UVA. After knocking down 9-of-13 triples., Kispert is now shooting 52% from 3 and 79% from 2 on the season. Already knows how to play out of NBA-style actions. Shooting, size, feel. Plug & play. pic.twitter.com/qsI7jRqcuJ

— Mike Schmitz (@Mike_Schmitz) December 27, 2020

As a pure shooter, he can be a potential game-breaker at any time when he gets hot, and that should translate to the next level considering how much the modern NBA is reliant upon three-point shooting and floor spacing. In this way, the Joe Harris comparisons seem relatively adequate.

However, where that comparison falls short is that Kispert was much more than a mere shooter in college and could be much more so in the NBA; you aren’t the best player on one of the best college basketball teams of all time if all you can do is shoot. He regularly displayed an ability not only attack closeouts like many other effective shooters, but also to penetrate and create as a secondary facilitator while also being a constant threat to pull up off the dribble. That along with his ability to cut and finish around the basket was why he shot 61% on two-pointers this past year.

To put that in perspective, Jonas Valanciunas and Xavier Tillman were the only Grizzlies who shot at least that percentage on twos last year.

Corey Kispert shows a great understanding of the importance of cutting and moving without the ball. Knows how to keep moving whether it’s creating a better angle for a 3 or attacking the basket#NBADraft pic.twitter.com/Eod7jMhdN9

— Backcourt Violation (@backcourtv) June 21, 2021

Now Kispert isn’t going to be asked to be a consistent pick-and-roll ball-handler in the NBA, but how much his ability to create off the dribble and score from all three levels will determine whether he becomes a taller Joe Harris—which I think is closer to his floor—or *prepares the hot take cannon* something akin to Klay Thompson offensively. He won’t be anywhere near the defender that Thompson has been in the NBA (which I’ll touch on more in the improvement section), but he has an almost identical physical profile and was an objectively better shooter and overall more efficient scorer with similar production on a soundly better college basketball team.

Of course, just because their profiles are similar and Kispert was probably a better player in college doesn’t mean that he’s going to end up being as good offensively as arguably the second best shooter ever. That’s just not the way it usually works. Klay was also a more naturally talented creator with the ball in his hands coming out of college, exhibited by the fact that he had a 25% assist percentage as compared to Kispert’s 9%, which seems a bit low considering the offensive talent with which he played.

Still, Kispert was a fantastic offensive player in college, and all of the the various nuances of his overall offensive game will enable him to thrive in the pace-and-space NBA. To say that he’s just a shooter is to both embrace a lazy stereotype and undersell what he can bring to an NBA team.

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Kispert was not a bad defensive player in college; in fact, he was a plus in some ways. He was 4th in defensive win shares (1.8) on a Gonzaga team that ranked 21st in the nation in defensive efficiency. He regularly displayed innate defensive instincts and generally proved to be an effective defender within the team’s defensive scheme.

Yet the vast majority of his games were played against WCC opponents, and questions still remain about how well he will be able to defend perimeter players in the NBA. He’s not a quick-twitch athlete by any stretch of the imagination, and he will have to work to improve his hips so that he can have adequate lateral quickness at the next level.

However, even if he ends up being a relative sieve defensively in the NBA (which I don’t think will be the case), what he brings as a shooter and offensively in general will more than outweigh any issues on the other end. After all, the Clippers and Sixers managed to hide 6’3” J.J. Redick on defense throughout the prime of his career, while Joe Harris and Duncan Robinson’s lack of defensive ability hasn’t hurt their ability to positively impact their teams.

Kispert has good size at 6’7”, 220 pounds and will be a high-IQ defender within a team’s defensive scheme. Those qualities alone will make him at least passable on defense even if he physically struggles a bit on that end to start his career.

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In short, it’s perfect.

Imagine a lineup of Ja Morant-Desmond Bane-Corey Kispert-Jaren Jackson Jr.-Jonas Valanciunas. That amount of elite shooting and floor spacing next to Morant and Valanciunas would open up a world of possibilities both in the paint and on the perimeter that could empower the Grizzlies to become one of the best offensive teams in the NBA. And if you really want to get drunk with the power of the shooting possibilities, think of a Ja Morant-Desmond Bane-Dillon Brooks-Corey Kispert-Jaren Jackson Jr. lineup, which would not only be even more prolific from three but even better defensively while also giving Morant spacing and driving lanes that he’s never had before. That’s one way to help Morant grow from a borderline all-star into an MVP candidate.

Surrounding Ja Morant with shooters should be among the Grizzlies’ top priorities going forward, so why not give him the absolute best shooter in the draft that also happens to be one of the winningest players in the history of college basketball?

So if Kispert is on the board for the Grizzlies at 17, they probably shouldn’t have to even think about it, unless something extremely unexpected happens with some of the top prospects on their board (Moses Moody, Keon Johnson, etc.). The only argument that you could make against it is that the Grizzlies should be looking to take a home-run swing on a younger prospect with more perceived upside since they need to find their third star next to Ja Morant and Jaren Jackson Jr.

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

To be sure, he probably wouldn’t grow into the Grizzlies’ third star or even some version of Klay Thompson. But he almost absolutely will be a superb role player boasting an elite skill that happens to not only be an area of need for the Grizzlies, but also the most important one in the game today. And with the 17th pick, you could hardly expect to ever do better than that.

Corey Kispert is more than just a shooter, even if he is the best shooter in his class. And the Grizzlies should not fall victim to ageism like so many of their peers is he’s available to them at 17, even if I think that he’s probably gone before then.

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