#the thing my mother said to me right before my fiest session always rings ib my mins
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lesbianraskolnikov Β· 6 years ago
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this boy needs a therapist!!
#i wont get into it#i am rlly sad tonight but i wont get i to it i just generally need one#especially for my mentaall illness i havent really discussed to anyone else...it has been speculated the last time i had a therapist but it#likely what i have or something very similar to it..we just have to see. all i know is i neeeed help... id like to live a partislly normal#life..i admit my home life impairs any hope i have for the most part im just severely restricted here. and wekrdly paranoid like i feel lik#im in danger here? i just lack trust in this home...its probably the immense paranoia or smthing and i just get stupid#i dont wanna b a king crimson songπŸ˜”#floyd.txt#its been a debated diagnosis for my last therapist and i look into it consts tly the past few years and its highly likely#i dont csre to talk about abt it bc anything thats not anxiegy or depression gets u treated like ur some monster :( its horrible#lso i dont think i mention it bc it was never fully xonfirmed and im not one for self diagnosis but there is something very wrong but#i cant get help! im completely restricted from it currently which is why im just in such a messy place. its a bad household thats#on a path for the worst...i cant go 5 minutes eithout hateful sfreaming but i guess at least theres no more physical harm#abuse - i didnt mean to go thst far in my venting but ugghhh i cannot wait to get out of ehre#part of mw is terrified to be on mg own but i still keep living because itll likely be much better than i expect yknow#idk this formaf is a good place tp vent bc if u dont wanna read it its all hidden in tags so im like#yelling into a void. so its kind of nice. tho like im sure a few people read it#i hate gking to people personally with this deeper stuff cos i dont wanna be a bother yknow? which might be why therapy was suxh a mess#last time..that was all awful#the thing my mother said to me right before my fiest session always rings ib my mins#and later on my therapist realized she was abusive and when she called my mom out i was immediatly out of therapy#really shouldve let her call whatever its called...cps? i dont know...#i resllt need help im on a downwards spiral man..it fucking sucks!!!#i said...i am a liar and a clown#negative -#ok one of these tags got sent straight to the top and it was what my mother said to me idk why it did that but i dont need to retype but it#fucked...#ill just keep adding onto this so i domt fill up any feeds lmao but god damn#practicallt all of my issues are bc of family life. they taught me to hate myself . be ashamed of myself for any dman thing i do#like yes ive had experiences with godawdul friends but its nothing compared to the terrible impact my homelife has had on me
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