#the thing is you dont even have to go full vegan. even simply eating less meat or dairy or eggs or buying less wool are great contributions

[slatesoft]

I think what consistently frustrates me regarding anti-vegan rhetoric is the persecution complex–the notion that vegans are primarily interested in putting you down and making themselves feel self-righteous. Because veganism isn't about making you feel bad or putting the blame of mass animal consumption on people who cannot adopt a full plant-based lifestyle due to unfortunate life circumstances. In fact, it's not at all about you (or me!) individually. It's about how other living beings are being systematically abused and how much damage such systems are doing to our planet and everything that lives here–including humans!

And I understand the position of being against veganism because humans are also animals of this world subsisting on other animals and partaking in the cycle of life and death as all other animals do. But the thing is, that's not the case for modern humanity, nor would it excuse the harm it brings as a whole.

For example, people like milk and beef, so companies streamline the process of milking, feeding, forcefully inseminating (aka raping. Look it up if you think I'm exaggerating), and killing cows at a fraction of their lifespan to harvest milk and beef. Now companies need land and food to maintain and expand their cow populations. To make way for more farmland to house cows and grow their food, diverse ecosystems are burned or otherwise destroyed. In destroying the natural ecosystem, CO2 is released into the atmosphere, climate change continues to spiral, entire species are endangered, and we all suffer long-term. Additionally, the artificially bloated population of cows adds a ton of methane into the atmosphere. But now there are more cows for more milk and beef, which people like. So companies continue to streamline and expand, and the spiral continues.

Ultimately, there is no other species on the planet that has conquered, exploited, and industrialized as humans have. Yes, we are living beings who deserve to live as much as any other animal. But that doesn't make industrialized farming morally just or environmentally sustainable. And while some people may not have any choice, I would argue that a significant number of people do!

The cool thing is, you, personally, have the power to affect some positive change in the world. I'm not interested in shaming individual people who purchase animal products, be it wool, eggs, meat, honey, whatever. I'm interested in raising awareness of an extremely harmful system in the hopes that people will use their own power and–even if it's just by a little bit–reduce their participation in that system. The truth is, if environmentalism, climate change, species extinction, animal rights, or capitalist greed are topics that concern you, and if you look into it beyond bad-faith interpretations and easily disproved misconceptions, you might find that veganism aligns with your beliefs far more than you previously thought.

[tylerwritez]

Saturday, June 19 2021

I dont know how I feel about the day yet cos right now its only 10:13. I dont post these exactly on the days I write them, but I write them on these exact days nonetheless.

My throat still hurts, my ass hurts, oUch,.... I'm sure you know why. Like, when you suck dick, it takes throat strength to make sure you don't fucking vomit everywhere and like. I OBVIOUSLY dont have that strength since I had to wash vomit outta my hair this morning

Hes so hot tho oh. My god.

Whatever. New day. So we talk about new things.

Star seems kinda sad but I dont really know why? She said on her story that people dont really go outta their way to talk to her... idk. I shot a good morning dm and now I'm here. I made my bed. Packed up my shit. Every time we pack things up my parents rage cos they always find shit they dont want to see: monster cans, evidence of my self harm, etc.

We have 1 more week then school is OVER and I move outta this house cos of the divorce. Jay will be gone too... I still have his insta, but I might ask for his number... just in case. I always get weirdly attached to people I fuck even if there was never any romantic part of the relationship. We are just friends.

Apparently we are going to the pick n pack today with my friend let's call her Zara. It's notfar off from her real name but whatever. Basically pick n pack is where you go to a vegetable garden and pick vegetables

I have a test soon but idk if I'll study for it. I NEVER really put work into studying or pay attention in class and I'm holding an 82 average. I got a 39 once, so once I retake that quiz I might be in the 90s. Sorry Mr. Renal, I simply can't bring myself to care about your class 😢

I LOVE my art class tho. It's just doing ART!!!! ART TIME!!!! Art is the best and I would post some of mine but my irls would proabably find me then. Like my name isnt ACTUALLY Jude Shepard. I'm just using it as a penname and also cos that's what they called me in my dream. But other than that everything I tell y'all is real. I'm making buttered toast rn.

3:38 p.m.  sat june 19th

I've decided to include a song recommendation with every entry. Today's recommendation: A Match Into Water by Pierce The Veil

Okay so it turns out we didnt go to pick n pack with Zara. Instead we went to downtown... White Ave. It was sunny n we walked a bit, got lemonades and a bit of candy, went into stores, idk. BUT. The notable part of this is that next to the farmers market there were all the usual activist groups: falun gong, vegan, whatever... but one of them looked like it was a LEFTIST GROUP, possible marxist.

I wanted to talk to them so badly and wanted to see how I could help the cause. See, I'm a communist. AND IM NOT HERE TO DEBATE THAT. I'm here to talk about my days. Anwyays I wanted to talk to them sO BADLY. but my parents wouldn't leave me alone. And like. I hate political discussion with them. They just upset me and they get mad and I CANT AFFORD TO MAKE THEM MAD. I play everything that goes on with me on the Down Low, I dont talk about anything about myself because if I do, I get less freedom in my life. They have control in my life, so I have to appease them. Because of this, I unfortunately did not get to talk to the communists :(

Hopefully they're still there next time... I'm kinda mad >:(

Also Star replied to my good morning text... I told her to have fun shopping since that's what she told me she was gonna do... she just said "thanks" and I was concerned because THATS NOT HOW SHE TYPES? I feel like shes sad over something but i dont know what.

The day me and Jacob did stuff, I was supposed to walk her to her bus stop like I always do. But I didnt (duh) I took Jacob home.

But IT WAS ONE! DAY. And I told her my dad called me over so.... I apologized too and she seemed mad at herself, but in the way that's intended to make you feel bad.

I dont understand her sometimes. I LOVE HER. DON'T GET ME WRONG. I love her so so much shes such a great supportive funny attractive girl! But soemtimes she gets upset and I can never tell why: is it the depression? Is it me? Is it soemthing else entirely? And she'll never tell me.

Whatever, I'll ask her how she is tonight and maybe we can Talk :/

I might never tell her about Jay... :P I might never tell ANYONE about Jay. It's our little secret I guess >:))))))

Man see? I'm no saint. I guess that's what'll make this blog worth reading. I'm a bit conflicted about the whole thing cos I KNOW this is morally not right but. I'm doing it anyways. What can I say? I'm used to lying and hiding things for my benefit. I had to do it to survive and now? Now I do it for funsies.

I'm gonna pack some more stuff, TTYL ♡

UPDATE: we had to go look at houses for the move (since my parents r divorcing) and I didnt get to pack much of anything yet

I'm definently over my cal limit today...

        Cold sweet or carbonated drinks help with my throat pain so I'm downing them like they're NOTHING and since we have no zero  cal cold drinks I'm DEAD... and no, water does NOTHING.

Jeez, its raining out.

And FUCK JAY cos hes still on my mind.

Its 4:11 p.m. now.

Its now 7:56 p.m.

I kinda feel like an edgy main character in an edgy movie rolling up to the park and sitting #alone in the Treez like the emo band music video protagonist I am.

Sometimes its exhausting to talk to people I care about in a serious way or that I talk to in a more sincere manner like Star and Jay and others. Even if they're just friends. If our interactions are serious and not really casual and usually play out like long deep conversation, I feel like to respond to or even read their messages, I need to have like an hour allotted to conversation. Soemtimes I see the messages early and have to pretend I didnt see em cos I dont have internet to respond or time to respond its. Funny. Idk.

Anwyays I'm binging chocolate in a park alone and like. Rotting my fucking teeth OH WELL 🤷🏻‍♂️ whatcha gonna do.

Its 8 now so I should head home. I just biked to the s4ve 0ns to get my dad white choclate but. If I'm going to s4ve 0ns... YOU BET YOUR ASS IM GONNA STE4L SHIT. THAT PLACE IS EASY AS FUCKKK.

Also I'm kinda addicted to sh0pl1fting. The THRILL I get from it is so insane. It's fun! And you get free stuff! I know If i get caught I'm risking a lot. I'm aware. But I dont really care. Every step I take nowadays is risk taking. So why not take more?

I dont care about nonsense therapy. Fuck that.... actually I'll explain why i dont go to therapy for my shit:

1. I cant

2. I don't trust it

Anwyays yeah.

My throat still hurts. Idk, I just like to be in the sun and shit ALONE.

ALONE! It's so funny to me how now I like my time alone but as a kid I'd proabably kill for some positive attention. Well... it's more complex than that, but I wont go into it tonight.

Pls watch me die of diabetes soon from eating all this fucking chocolate.

My parents said to stop drinking monster and I wANT THEM TO TRUST ME so i can go out with my friends... but also I shoulda got monster outta spite. Heart palpitations my ASS.

Tonight I'll be talking to Jay AND Star. At the same time. Which is awkward... Which is MY OWN MESS TO CLEAN UP. I actually accept full responsibility. But also its awkward.

Whatever. I'll sort it out.

My parents arent being as complicated as usual. I guess they're tryna reverse all those years of... emotional neglect i guess? Something.

Something. Which isnt nothing.

But also I think they're guilty over the divorce. Like. Today my dad was like "do u ever feel sad? Blah blah blah... how do u feel rn" and I was like smiling tryna play off his question like it was absurd and I said "uhm idk... *fake laugh* normal?"

THE TRUTH WAS THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUDDLED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO REGARDING. LITERALLY CHEATING. ON MY GF. WITH SOME DUDE IN MY ART CLASS. JUST FOR SEX.

But then he was like "this isnt normal." And he looked all sad.  But on my way to the park here, I thought about it a bit more. And actually... it IS normal. The divorce rate is smthn like 60 percent in the states and 40 percent in canada... which is where I live.

Yknow... if my irls find this,,, all I have to say is sorry. Be as mean as you want.

I've already accepted my fate as a degenerate scumbag anyways lol.

Actually... how DO I feel? Hmm... laying in this field.

Urgency.

I have a lot of stuff to do.

Physical pain, but that's not. A FEELING.

I guess anticipation to TALK TO PEOPLE.

Regret from my binge... I better get home.

You know what's so funny to me? I cant purge on my own... but dick makes me vomit. Like the one time I DONT want to throw up, I do. Damn okay.

Well its 8:18 so I'm going home maybe. Soon. For now, I think I'll stay a little longer.

Yknow one thing I didn't expect to be sore was my arms... which I used to prop myself up to... yknow, suck Jay...

I still remember he said: "you're trembling." And I was like FUCK because I thought the trembling was HIM... •_• it's okay though I'll learn to do better.

Idk tho... I feel comfortable with him. Even as nervous as I am and embarrassed to be. Naked. In front of soemone else. And such. He makes me feel comfortable. Look, I did my best, DUH of cOURSE I did my best, I'm the type who will work hard at stuff even if they're getting hurt. I didnt mind honeslty. My goal in that part was just to make him feel good. Equal exchange, yknow? He did the same thing to me.

But like, he can tell when I gag and he tells me not to hurt myself and of course I keep going, I'm not about to SToP. But. I dont kNOW. Him talking to me like that makes me feel a lot safer doing stuff like that you know?

I like when he starts kissing me and touching me like he cant contain himself its almost animalistic and VERY FUCKING HOT

I feel like I talk about him too much but you gotta realize that was my FIRST time

1. Sucking dick

2. having MY junk sucked

3. Having anything put. Inside me. (It was just his finger but stILL)

So yeaH. Of course I'm gonna talk about it. A lot.

He said I was adorable. He said he likes how, when he leans over me, I take in a breath... how he could make me flinch.

THATS HOT ISNT IT.

I feel like I'm getting lost in his charm when I shoULD be tryna fix shit with my girlfriend. She seems sad and I'm worried.

But there isnt much more to say until I DM her tonight...

I really fucked up, didn't I? I totally fucked up and now my brain is all confused. But I have to remember that Jay is only about sex. He would be nice to cuddle, since hes fucking HUGE and I'm kinda on the short side, but he doesnt talk to me out of love. He does it out of lust. And yeah... I really only want sex from him too. But like. Star and I are COMMITTED. We got our feelings wrapped up together. Emotionally and romantically.

So. I should proabably like... stop fucking with Jay. Tell Star what I did. And hope she forgives me. That's the morally correct thing to do.

But like... do I EVER make the morally correct decision? No. Not really. I'm a piece of shit. Whatever. Its highschool anwyays we arent mating for life. IM NOT SAYING WHAT I DID WASNT BAD. IT WAS. VERY BAD.

but I'm gonna keep making bad decisions.

I DO FEEL BAD.... but look. If we're being logical about this and tryna maximize my benefit here,, I should keep Star as my girlfriend and TREAT HER WELL... but with Jay as a fuckbuddy on the side. Hes leaving the school soon anwyays so then we'll hang out less...

That's my plan, anyways.

I KNOW I'm a bad person. I'm aware. But it's just a fact of life.

I'm cheating with my cards here in so many places: stealing, lying, cheating, disobeying my parents, not paying attention in class.. IM KIND OF AN ASSHOLE KID. Idk. It's kinda whatever to me. I'm fucking harry Houdini, okay? I can get out of anyhting. This isnt me being cocky... I have historically gotten out of MANY tight situations, even some that risked my life, and I'm still here. I think I'm a walking lucky charm or SOEMTHING

Welp, we know if gods real I'm going to hell.

I dont really care. Idk. I guess I'm just at that risk taking phase in.my life. That doesnt  justify anything... but it explains it. And it's possible to explain without justifying.

Man,,, I guarantee whoever reads this blog is gonna hate my guts.

Whatever. It's my fucking journal/diary lol.

I can sorta say whatever I'd like.

It's funny because I always thought I was trustworthy and had no commitment issues BUT HEY I GUESS NOT.

I keep telling myself, cut him off, YOU AVE A GIRLFRIEND, FESS UP AND APOLOGIZE... but then I picture his STUPID smirking face and I CANT.

Maybe I am in love double.

Doesnt matter if I am... i still did a bad thing.

DAMN.

Well... I'm headed back home now. 8:41. I'm gonna pack my shit, change, watch youtube,,,, I guess I should check my google classroom and like. do my fucking homework... cos I haven't done it yet.

Then I'll update yall.

11:51 p.m.

Hey guys I'm back with an update.

I talked with both of then... star doesnt seem interested in having an actual conversation,,, shes just talking  about  random bs. Which is fine but I dont rly get what shes saying half the time COS SHES NOT BLUNT ENOUGH. and then the other half shes going on about how much she hates life. Like.

I do love her. We've bonded. I AM concerned about her. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't really try. Like I can talk her down from suicide all I want but everything I say is wrong and cliched and based off my own experience with suicidal thoughts and like... my mentality has always been sorta toxicly masculine. Push through, and push through alone. I CANT ALWAYS HELP! And it makes me feel shitty. Idk. She'll be okay, I know so cos of her story posts and drawings.

I feel bad but I know I can't help much. We talked a little. Idk, we didnt get anywhere. I love her but shes acting in a way that tells me soemthing is wrong but I CANT FIX THAT THING. SO. yeah, theres not much to say. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't.

I talked to Jay as well... I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BECAUSE I LIKE HIM SO SO MUCH. SO MUCH. HES LITERALLY PERFECT. sexy, kind and super considerate, he always makes sure I'm comfortable... I dont KNOW,,, hes sweet.

Hes not romantically interested in me. Which is a bit sad. Sometimes I want to tell him "I love you!!!" But then I remember that we are, in his words, friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Two horny teenage boys who just wanna fuck... and be friends. That's all. That's us. We aren't romantically involved nor will we ever be. I hate how my brain gets so attached to anyone I fuck... especially since I kinda see Jay as an "older brother" figure, which makes no sense until you actually meet him and vibe with him... and like,,, I've always wanted that?

Tommorow I'm gonna ask for him to come over to watch a movie... but idk if I should actually ask because my parents kinda hate me now for fucking up so much. I'll do my homework and clean my room first... which will take up all my time proabably :( it's okay. Maybe some other time :(

I dont want him to lose interest in me though.

.... its 1:56 a.m.

Okay. Okay. I'll say it. I love him.

Goodnight, tumblr.

-Jude

[aimskyymama-blog]

New York New York

There is so much I can say about New York, but I will try to stay focused on the task at hand! :) This was Micah’s first trip and we had a blast. If you stumbled on my blog out of curiosity, welcome. If its to read about our trip, my advice or just to see some photos then stay tuned.

Although we travel a lot I wont lie, my husband and I were nervous about traveling with a 4 month old. I was a little less nervous than him. Being a flight attendant for five years has helped me. I always marveled in awe when I would watch a mama wrangle a baby and/or a toddler all by herself flawlessly. So I always took mental notes for the future (thank you super mamas). We worked as a team and didn’t let any of the small stuff sweat us or slow us down. I honestly want to give him the dad of the year award for several reasons, but more on that later…

This was a very short trip. We left Florida around 6am on a Tuesday and came back at 7pm on Thursday. I will try to break this trip down by parts so I can stay organized haha.

Flights

We each had one carry on so a total of three. I packed my bag with half of Micah’s clothes and half of my own. I made sure to pack him 2-3 outfits for each day (whatever he was wearing and 2 extra in his diaper bag just in case so about 5-6 total for the whole trip). I packed him 2 footed pajamas (he wore one on the flight there), socks, diapers, wipes, his favorite teething toy, hand sanitizer/wipes, four spit up cloths (he didn’t use all four so I think 2-3 would’ve been fine for us), his muslin blanket (he used this a lot since its light enough for hot days but can be used to keep warm when folded), one thick blanket (also never used), soap and wash cloth, no need for formula since he is breastfed (which also made this easier), his LilleBaby carrier, and his Chicco bravo travel system (which I wish we didn’t take or found another option but ill explain why below). Micah’s carry on was his diaper bag and it had the things I normally pack for him.

My husband carried the bags and pushed the stroller while I wore Micah through the airport. This is why I wish we didn’t take his travel system. Getting through TSA, gate checking it, and most of all carrying it up and down the subway stairs (FYI, most subways in NY DONT HAVE ELEVATORS) was such a pain. This is why my hubby wins the prize, he did that heavy lifting. We thought about leaving it and buying a collapsible stroller that can fit in the over head but we knew we needed it for his naps and a car seat for any car rides. That’s where I learned the hard way that you can actually request a Lyft or Uber with a car seat. Whoops, lesson number one learned. So my advice, skip the bulky stroller and try to go for a small one that can fold up like the GB Pockit Stroller (if baby is 6 mos and up) or Doona (if you need the stroller to sit at an incline for naps) which is a car seat and stroller in one.

Once we got through TSA and to our gate I carried Micah onto the plane, we checked his car seat and stroller and then put his carrier either under the seat or in the overhead bin. Micah was awesome on the flight. We purposely did an early morning one because he normally sleeps until 8-9am so we knew he would sleep on the flight. I nursed him on both take off and landing to help clear his ears of the pressure. He didn’t ever seem phased.

Once we landed in LGA we hit the ground running! We dropped off our bags, freshened up and then headed to the subway to go to the American Museum of Natural History. 

Coming from Queens, this felt like it took forever. Probably because we had to take Micah in and out of the stroller to go up and down subway stairs and we had to transfer trains. Again, hubby wins the prize because he did all of the navigating. Thankfully because of him, we never took the wrong train or got lost. 

I was busy keeping Micah entertained and taking pictures (I’m always the photographer on our trips). Weather was cloudy and chilly (high 60’s is chilly to Floridians). But as the day progressed the sun came out and it was gorgeous. High 70’s low 80’s. I dressed myself and Micah in layers for that reason. As the temp went up I peeled off the layers.

Food

So as most of you know I am dairy, soy and egg free because of Micah’s intolerance’s to them. Total bummer because hello, PIZZA. :( But, NY is so accommodating when it comes to allergens. Almost every food spot had their ingredients listed and/or vegan meals on the menu. I was able to find a lot of options and if you know different foods, you know what you can eat. For example, I had a delicious Panang chicken Curry from a Thai joint. I knew it was usually made without soy sauce and is made with coconut milk and I simply confirmed with them before ordering. It was delicious. I also had an amazing dairy free sourdough flat bread with their house made vegan cheese in Grand Central Station. SO damn good. But my favorite was carne and pollo asada tacos from Los Tacos No.1 in Chelsea Market. Best tacos I have ever had. I cannot recommend going there enough! I ate like five of them and I had no shame haha! Being restricted from food has been tough so to find such delicious food that fit my diet made me feel so happy. We definitely will be going back as soon as I can have cheese so I can eat my heart out with pizza. If you also have a food intolerant little babe then you know how you always have a moment of fear when checking a diaper after eating something new. I cant tell you how many times I’ve been told in a restaurant  "no egg" or “no dairy” and then Micah’s poo goes from normal not smelly yellow poop to nasty, green, messy and smelly poo but we had none of that. :)

Transportation

We only took a car ride to and from the airport. We used Lyft and it was very easy and not pricey. Besides that we either used the subways or the bus. We purposely chose NY as our first trip with Micah for this reason. We found it easier to go to a destination that we can walk around vs having to rent a car and drive. The subways were pretty easy to use. We filled up a metro card that we used for both the bus and subway rides. We didn’t spend very much at all. I loved taking the subway (minus the stairs part. I know I cant get over it lol). My husband used Google maps to figure out which ones to take and where we should transfer. For the most part it was not too busy and if the car was full we waited for the next one since we had the stroller. 

People were awesome (except the ones that didn’t ask to give their seat) but that was expected haha. Almost everyone held a door open for us or asked if we needed any assistance when we were carrying the stroller. I really appreciated that. We walked. A whole lot. We walked half of Central park. We started at the museum. The museum is great but it was very busy when we went. Probably best for children a little older. The noise and stimulation was a little much for Micah so we didn’t do too many exhibits. After the museum we walked to the boating lake, Bethesda fountain and then through The Mall down to 57th. 

There we walked around and then finally around 4pm we started to make our journey back to Queens so we could get some early rest for the next day. I think personally, Central Park was the highlight of the trip for me. There are so many artist and musicians. For some reason being surrounded by so much nature and natural beauty but having the city around was so cool to me. I absolutely loved it and would love to go back in the fall when all of the tree’s are changing colors or even in the winter to see The Mall covered in snow.

I highly recommend using a carrier. We used ours each day and it made getting around so much easier. Unless Micah was asleep in the stroller, we tried to consistently carry him so he wouldn't get sick of being in the stroller. The carrier we used is LilleBaby. This is really a great carrier with back support (super important especially for those heavier babies)

 It was very comfortable to use and Micah loved it. We bought the Airflow model because its breathable and we knew we would be walking around outside with it. It also comes with a snap on hood.

On the second day we took it much easier. We got ready and headed out to midtown. We ate breakfast at Grand Central Station and then stayed around gawking at the beauty it is. 

We decided to do a little shopping in H&M (that’s where I got my super cute jean overalls on sale. Yassss). I also had to nurse Micah in the fitting room because he is SO very easily distracted now when he nurses. After that we decided to keep walking and sight seeing. Finally we decided to hop on the train and head over to Chelsea Park for a bite to eat and to explore.

Micah took his naps like a champ. All on his own. He ate, babbled, laughed, played with strangers and then on his own in his stroller he would just knock out. Then repeat. Haha. We went to the Highline which I highly recommend. Id rate that 2nd for our trip. We started around 24th street where the elevator would have been but it was just our luck that it was broken. So we muscled up and carried everything up the stairs.

We walked down to 18th on the Highline to look at the water and then like real tourist, we walked back to 24th only to realize that the Highline connects to Chelsea Market. Whoops number 2! Micah slept through it all and I had to wake him up once we were done so I could nurse him plus I thought the park was a nice place to do it. At Chelsea Market we went into every food spot like the foodies we are. I cant wait to return when im not on any kind of restricted diet!

On our last day the early AM flight we wanted to get on was full so we decided to hang around for a bit longer. We took the train and got off on the stop that took us to Gantry Plaza state park.

Then we walked towards the park and took some more photos while sight seeing. We hopped back on the train to Queens and then made our way back to LGA.

I love this photo my husband took of me nursing Micah while waiting for the train in the subway. It was hot, Micah was fussy because he was hungry, and I finally had a moment to sit and nurse him. People think its so easy to just throw a blanket over your baby (which Micah HATES) or to wait until you are somewhere private. The truth is, a hungry baby waits for no one :)

Over all we loved New York and we highly recommend it to any family that is looking to Travel to a family friendly destination. We cannot wait to go back. I hope you guys enjoyed this blog post as much as I did writing it. Hopefully you enjoyed it enough for me to continue blogging. :)

Thanks for reading!