#the thing is they are well written within their route but the available routes are... depressing

[criticalgay]

they weren't lying most of those possible companion endings are... bad

[maribat-media]

A New Wave of Maribat

So, there has been talk for some time about how Maribat as a fandom is dying, or at least, people within the fandom can feel that it is not as lively as it could be.

Pondering the question, what if, a rather peculiar idea arrived. There are plenty of places on Tumblr with blogs dedicated to Maribat. Ao3 is a rather popular for content as well. However, is there not another place that people frequent quite often that could give the fandom new attention?

The answer is simple. Instagram

Now, you might be saying, "seriously? Instagram? No one goes on Instagram for Maribat."

That is exactly the point. Tumblr takeovers can be effective and gain attention, that's for sure, but why not try a different route? Instagram is a place where people share irl things yet within it is an incredible world of artists and storytellers.

Instagram could provide what the Maribat needs. A new light. People could discover this fandom for the first time in a place no one would expect.

Below is going to be information about this page for those that are intrigued by this idea, it will also allow those who do not wish to hear more the ability to continue on their scrolling.

There are a couple ways to bring Maribat to Instagram and Maribat Media is here to help with it.

Creators can either make their own Instagrams or use their existing ones to post content. Any sort of Maribat content is amazing. Get it out there for the world to see.

Understandably, not everyone is going to want to make an account or post on Instagram. Why go through the effort if you don't use the platform. Valid.

Maribat Media is here to help. We encourage people to help promote others' works across platform to get them the attention they deserve. Any piece of artwork, writing or art form, takes a lot of time and energy. @ this account in the replies of a piece shared here on tumblr and we will get in shared, only under the following conditions.

This needs to be made absurdly clear. Maribat Media will not cross post a piece of content solely by being tagged. When tagged, the creator of the post will be reached out to see if they would like their piece to be shown off on the Instagram. No means no and the creator will not be pressured to allow their piece to be published. That is rude and the exact opposite of what the admin hope to accomplish.

The best thing to do if you want a post to be placed on the Instagram is ask the creator themselves within a reply to their piece about if Maribat Media can post it. It saves all parties time, and you can easily @ this account when the creator's written permission is present.

That also goes for creators themselves! If you have a post you want to have put on Instagram but do not have an account yourself, @ Maribat Media with a request to and the admin will gladly see to it!

Events can also be requested for sharing! It is highly encouraged to have event runners who want their events to be seen to either @ or leave a request. Events are an amazing way to gain traction.

Any and All sorts of content that have been given permission to post with have proper crediting. Within the top of the description and in an extra slide of the post (unless there is not a slide available).

Ask Me Anything is always open for any questions surrounding this whole Instagram thing as well the comments to this very post. You can leave requests for content sharing in the AMA (the process will be the same as if @'d in a reply).

Finally, this is all one big attempt at trying something new. There is no knowing if this will work at all. However, there is no harm in trying. Perhaps we can give this fandom new light together.

Sincerely, Maribat Media Admin

[inkykeiji]

chatplots interest check + beta testing!

hey, pssst! touya-nii would like to have a little chat with you. well? what are you waiting for! go talk to him!

note: currently, chatplots works best on a mobile device! you can find the faq beneath the cut! <3 please read through the entire thing before sending in any questions or playing the game; there's a lot of important info in there about how the game works!

click here to submit your feedback!

WHAT IS CHATPLOTS?

chatplots is a simulation game where you can enter into various situations with specific characters and 'message' them. each chat has multiple choices for the player to choose and at least two endings. your choices and behaviour throughout the chat will influence how the character reacts and responds to you, and will ultimately determine which ending you get! it is essentially like a playable oneshot! chatplots IS NOT AI. it is a game that was written by me and developed by my boyfriend. each conversation was painstakingly crafted by me; it is all my writing, and it will always be completely and entirely written by me.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

chatplots can be downloaded as a web app on your home screen if you'd prefer to have it on your phone! (this is the option i personally recommend hehe) but chatplots can also be played on any device in any mobile or desktop browser, accessible through this link: https://chatplots.inkyclari.com.

how to download it on ios:

go to chatplots.inkyclari.com

tap the share icon (on safari: the little square with the upwards arrow, in the middle of the bottom of the screen, next to the bookmarks option; on chrome: the little square with the upwards arrow at the end of the address bar)

scroll down and select 'add to home screen'

you're done!

how to download it on android:

go to chatplots.inkyclari.com

on chrome, press the three dots in the upper righthand corner

click 'install app'

you're done!

here's how it'll all go down once the chat is open:

touya-nii will send a message (or several messages)

the response button (the button with the little paper airplane) will begin pulsing when you can respond back to him

pressing the button will open up all of your available response options. you can then choose which one to send back to him.

this will continue until you reach the end of the game. the response button will begin pulsing with your ending, which is a piece of prose 700-900 words long. the chat takes about 10-15 minutes to play though once.

notes:

touya-nii will refer to you by name. the name you input at the start of the game will be the name he uses, though this name can be changed at any time in the settings (the little gear in the bottom left corner!). also! check out the settings while he's still typing for a cute lil surprise ehehe c:

touya-nii will behave like a real human throughout the duration of the chat. he takes a moment to read your message before he responds, and the time it takes him to type out a response is akin to that of a real person—meaning if his response is longer, he will take longer to type it than a response that is only a word or two.

THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND:

this is a beta, which means it is not the finished product.

the chat you are playing is technically only half of what the full chat would be; you are only playing one route with a few different branches and two variations of the same single ending. (in other words, there are several different ways to reach the same ending, and each branch has slight variations).

a full chat would have at least two separate routes within the same scenario/setting, and at least two different endings.

we encourage you to play through the chat several times to discover which choices yield which results, and to explore all touya-nii has to say!

WHAT IS THIS SHORT KEIGO CHAT?

the short keigo chat is a sfw test chat i made specifically for my best friend. it only takes 1-3 minutes to play through and has options that are specifically tailored to my best friend's personality and tastes. you are welcome to play through it as well if you'd like! just bear these things in mind hehe

WILL OTHER CHARACTERS BE ADDED IN THE FUTURE?

yes, of course! any of my iterations of ANY character has the potential to be added to the game in the future. i am also open to taking suggests and prompts from you all for future chat scenarios!

HOW MUCH WILL THE FULL GAME COST?

chats would either be sold on an individual basis, where you can buy each chat separately for $4-$6 USD depending on the length, complexity, number of endings, etc OR through a monthly subscription of $7 USD, enabling you to have continual access to the entire catalogue of chats as it grows, with the minimum number chats being released at least two per month. please let us know which option appeals to you more right here! <3

WE NEED YOUR FEEDBACK!

after you've played through the chat a couple of times, we would be extremely grateful if you would take a moment or two to answer a few questions in order to help us gauge interest and further determine the direction we should move forward in. you are also, of course, always welcome to send your feedback and thoughts through my ask box!

we can't wait to hear from you, and we hope you enjoy the beta! <3

[calico-strawberry]

19, 21 and 28 for Anya and Erin :)

19- how do they quietly express their live for each other?

In general, if they're next to each other Anya will just casually hold hands with Erin. Also she'd be extremely embarrassed if Erin found out about it, but she absolutely has several little areas on her notebooks where she has written her name with lil hearts around it.

Erin on the other hand mostly expresses it merely by just being very close her as well and accepting aforementioned hand holding. She also sometimes recommends some clothing or accessories she thinks Anya would like.

21- which of their friends/family poke fun at them for getting flustered/affectionate?

Well quite frankly because Erin usually is able to avoid getting flustered and in general doesn't really like PDA besides just holding hands, it takes a while for anyone to even realize the two are together.

But after that? Yeah Melia would probably tease Anya a bit (to a limit) since Anya has done the same to her regarding Venam before. Honestly besides that I can't really think of anyone who'd actively- oh yeah resident siblings Amber and Mosley absolutely.

28- what's something that reminds them of their partner? Do they have anything on them daily as a reminder?

Erin would definitely be on Route 9 and immediately think of Anya thanks to her whole vibes. In general she relates "fall" with Anya. As for anything she keeps... she'd probably keep things like books Anya had recommended to her close or wear clothes/accessories Anya thought would look good on her (she tried to get Erin to wear cat ears too to no avail), notably a small kind of cheap necklace Anya gave to her. Like it's kind of shitty and will probably fall apart within the year but it was a gift so she'll wear it.

Anya on the other hand always equates ribbons to Erin, and good fashion in general. Erin being the reason she herself has started getting into fashion more as well. I do think later on, she'd start wearing a big ribbon in her hair too.

[om3nsrp]

SITE GUIDE

GETTING STARTED →

Welcome to OMENS the Role-play group. We pride ourselves on being a writing writer’s kind of oasis. Which means by joining, you’re wholly aware that we write, a lot. Writing is the reason that this group was made and this story is being told. Those who contribute to this conquest are rewarded in various ways. Whether you’ve decided to take an interest in our little hole in the world because you want to write, or you just think it looks and sounds cool, it doesn’t matter to us. Thank you for giving us a moment of your time. If you have any questions you can send a direct message to the admin profile on the main site and you will be responded to in a timely manner. Thank you again!

MAKING A CHARACTER →

We almost prefer this route to taking on a role because it begins with muse and inspiration as opposed to adopting to another’s skin. Making a character for our group can seem tedious because we love a well outlined character. The most important things that we look for is that your character serves some sort of purpose in the world or general plot. If your character doesn’t have their ear to the ground or their hands dirty, it can be quite hard to find opportunities to jump into on-going or new threads, or even plot with a partner for that matter. So, it’s very important that your character that you’re intent on creating is wedged right in the middle of the chaos. This creates more opportunity.

Furthermore, your character should have at least three personality traits. They should have a clear goal and motivation as well as an obstacle preventing them from achieving their ultimate life or outcome. This is, in our opinion, a great and complete character starting point. As always, if you’re having difficulty building this you’re encouraged to reach out to the admin(s) for assistance and we’ll gladly be of service and help direct your vision to be more aligned with the world and story. You’re never alone here.

Make sure you start by reading the story / plot synopsis, understanding the factions and lastly checking the canon(s) list for claimed faces and details.

ACTIVITY →

While we’re not the most strict and down your throat bunch when it comes to activity there is a level of activity we expect our writers to have. We pride ourselves on being a writing group. That said, we do not condone one reply per week. That is far below the bar in our eyes. A reply to a post in character should range between two to three days tops. Very tops. The expected activity that we’d prefer is one reply per day.

This keeps things moving forward and consistent across the board. However, we’re willing to work with writers who are interested but have busy schedules that are otherwise hard to nail down. This will vary from person to person. If a reply has not been made in over a week’s time without any indication of real life matters or emergency, the writer will be put on probation and excluded from event stories until contact is made and consistency improves.

If there is no improvement or communication, the writer will be removed. If they have a role, it will be rehosted or written out. If they have a created character it will be written out.

DISCORD →

While we do have a Discord server, we prefer it to be used more so as quick communication with writing partners as opposed to a hub for role-play. Our canon and acknowledged story takes place primarily on the site in the forum. The server is a great way to communicate, chat and plot but not for role-play in which is considered central.

We do have role-play, in-character channels available for inspiration and muse purposes and some of the content in those can be considered canon, however, moving critical story-line moments in the server is not common. We prefer most of the important things to be done on site. As always, conduct yourself with ethics and morals and dignity while chatting and building friendships within the server!

CANONS + MEMBER GROUPS →

While looking over the canons list make sure to determine which are open roles or taken roles. It is also important to determine which face claims have been occupied before creating a character. Each character in the canon list is aligned to a select member group. This helps writers determine which characters they can easily build connections with. Whether that’s as an enemy or an ally in the story. Each member group has its own mission / plot which each character is aligned with morally. It’s a great place to start when trying to understand the kind of characters we house within our group.

SHIPPING + NSFW →

Shipping can be considered a critical element of our world because it further feeds into the conflict of alignment. We obviously condone shipping. However, we prefer these connections to have a central story motivation. Anything forced is alright, but not suggested. It’s imperative that shipping makes sense within the world and story and not just because the writers like each other or have a bond beyond the story. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t impose your own will upon the characters, nor judge them as you - the individual. This helps keep things separated. You are not, after all, your character.

All intimate or sexual and lewd story-lines must be fade-to-black or have a NSFW tag within the title of the thread. To make things simple you can also just label the title of the thread (m) TITLE, so that other writers are aware of what sort of content to expect. If the entire thread is to be a sexual scene, or some sort of self-inserted smut, please keep it private and spare everyone the details. Keep things story or character focused as much as possible.

STORY EVENTS + NARRATIVE →

One of the most important aspects of our group and what we feel separates it from the other groups in our community is our narrative and events approach. While our overall story is set in a sandbox, we do host exclusive ‘seasonal events’ which serve the main story itself. These events not only progress the main story but tend to introduce new concepts, member groups, plot devices, or, change the world, dismantle member groups, or see major NPC changes take place.

Seasons do not stay consistently running. There are times where months can occur between one season event and another. When these events are active however, we prefer every writer to participate. There are some exceptions where writers are not expected to participate because season events have a high activity demand in order to function properly. They can also take a couple of months to complete. Because of this, we ask that every writer understand the responsibility of these events before joining them.

They are very rewarding, however. Season events have the potential to majorly shift characters from the shadows to the lime light. It is the biggest stage upon which our story is written. It also serves to highlight certain writers who are contributing at a high level and reward the character with more connections and deep-rooted story. It forces them right into main character status and every move they make has the potential to shatter the reality we’ve come to know.

AUDITION + APPLICATION →

Are you interested in joining us but you have no idea where to start?

Don’t worry. We got you.

Step one would be to read over all the content here on our Tumblr Index from the main story, it’s progress to the canon list and the factions. Once you’re confident that you have a pretty good understanding of this world and story, we prefer a direct message be sent to our admin page with your desired character name, as well as the reason you’re applying to create or take on this character. From there, the audition process is simple - you write. An admin will write a trial thread with you acting as this character and from there, the story written will be considered an almost introductory thread for your character unless corrections need to be made, which the admin will inform the writer of as the story in the trial thread progresses.

[kingrock970]

Unlock The Insider secrets on the dark web with Dark Web Links Guide

Within the wide expanse of the web, wherever information flows freely and digital footprints are very easily traced, the strategy of anonymity retains substantial allure. Nowhere Is that this motivation for privateness and discretion much more obvious than to the dark web a concealed community available only via specialized program like Tor. In this article, we delve to the intricacies of dark web accessibility, exploring the mechanisms that empower anonymity as well as the implications for end users.

Accessing the dark web involves navigating as a result of levels of encryption and anonymity protocols. Tor, short for your Onion Router, is a single these kinds of Device that facilitates use of the dark web by routing World-wide-web website traffic through a series of encrypted nodes, obscuring the user's IP address and site. This layered method of encryption makes certain that people can look through the dark web with relative anonymity, shielding their identities from prying eyes and surveillance.

But what drives persons to hunt out anonymity about the dark web? For a few, it's a make a difference of privacy—a desire to speak and transact on line without the need of anxiety of surveillance or censorship. For Some others, it is a necessity, especially in locations wherever Online flexibility is restricted, and dissenting voices are silenced. Nevertheless, it's very important to accept that anonymity within the dark web also offers cover for illicit things to do, such as the sale of medicines, weapons, and stolen information.

In light-weight of those complexities, It really is essential for people to technique dark web Internet access with warning and duty. While the dark web provides a refuge for privacy-acutely aware men and women and activists, it's also rife with challenges, which includes scams, malware, and publicity to illegal written content. As a result, understanding tips on how to navigate the dark web securely and securely is paramount.

This is when DarkWebLinks.guidebook will come into Engage in. As an extensive source for dark web exploration, DarkWebLinks.guide offers a curated selection of backlinks spanning many classes, from boards and marketplaces to conversation applications and privacy expert services. Much more than simply a Listing of backlinks, the System offers worthwhile insights into dark Internet sites and traits, empowering customers to generate educated choices regarding their on line routines.

Irrespective of whether you're a seasoned dark web consumer or maybe a curious newcomer, DarkWebLinks.guide has one thing to supply. Our System boasts fascinating characteristics in addition to a user-pleasant interface intended to boost your dark web experience. From remaining up to date on the newest tendencies to accessing a various assortment of dark web sites DarkWebLinks.guide is your gateway to unlocking the mysteries from the dark web although prioritizing basic safety and accountability.

In summary, dark web obtain provides a glimpse right into a environment of anonymity and privacy, but it's not with out its problems. By comprehension the mechanisms of dark web entry and leveraging methods like dark web links guide, people can navigate this concealed realm with assurance, empowering them selves to take a look at, connect, and transact online though prioritizing stability and moral criteria.

[dayinhistory]

January 9th: Manatee or Mermaid?

Christopher Columbus was sailing near what is today the Dominican Republic, and he saw something in the water. He believes them to be mermaids standing high out of the water; they had faces similar to humans, but were not so beautiful as they are usually depicted.

Well, Columbus, what you saw were manatees, so yeah of course they’re not going to be as beautiful as a mermaid is usually depicted.

Many listening to this podcast most likely know who Christopher Columbus was within the US history books. He’s played as the person who “discovered” the Americas for Europe. Really, he’s the start of a long and terrible reign of terror and the genocide of the Native people.

Within the letter written for the Spanish Treasurer, thus also the monarchs, Columbus tried to frame his supposed discovery as a win for the crown, as he had promised a return on investments if they had paid for him to try and find a different route to India. In his letter, he believed to have landed on islands somewhere to the east of India, and well obviously it’s not.

When kids go to school in the states, at least when I was a child, it was taught that Christopher Columbus was the beginning of a chain of events that brought the United States to fruition, and Columbus day is obviously a thing that was celebrated. In truth, he was a slave trader and a murderer. Before sailing for the Spanish, he sailed under the Portugese flag while engaged in the African slave trade a dozen years before his journey in 1492. Due to gold not being available in excess in his new location, he resummed the slave trade of the Natives. He can be held liable for the murder of Taino persons who failed to procure sufficient gold for himself and his monarchs as well in all honesty, as he’s the reason the “law of tribute” came into place.

In short, Columbus was and is simply a slave trader of the most brutal and sadistic kind.

So yes, it is absolutely okay to laugh at him for thinking manatees were mermaids.

Sources:

Paul, Heike. “Christopher Columbus and the Myth of ‘Discovery.’” In The Myths That Made America: An Introduction to American Studies, 43–88. Transcript Verlag, 2014. http://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctv1wxsdq.5.

Tinker, Tink, and Mark Freeland. “Thief, Slave Trader, Murderer: Christopher Columbus and Caribbean Population Decline.” Wicazo Sa Review 23, no. 1 (2008): 25–50. http://www.jstor.org/stable/30131245.

www.originalsources.com. “Original Sources - the Journal of Columbus,” n.d. https://www.originalsources.com/Document.aspx?DocID=JQGWFCXQNLAH4N8.

[besttraining]

Unlock the Power of Data Science with Training in Mumbai

Mumbai, one of the largest cities in India, is home to many aspiring data scientists. There are a number of Data Science training institutes available in Mumbai which offer comprehensive courses and classes in this field. These institutes provide comprehensive knowledge on all aspects related to Data Science such as machine learning algorithms, data mining techniques, statistics and data analysis tools etc. They also help students understand the importance of data science for businesses as well as its practical applications.

The goal of these institutes is to make sure that their students become experts in this field by providing them with an extensive course curriculum along with hands-on experience through a series of projects and assignments. The syllabus usually includes topics like big data analytics, artificial intelligence (AI), deep learning concepts etc., thus giving participants the opportunity to gain a holistic understanding of all the relevant technologies used today. Additionally, some institutes also provide workshops on specific topics related to Data Science so that participants can gain an insight into cutting-edge technologies and trends in this domain.

Apart from classroom sessions, these institutions also offer mentorship programs which give students access to industry mentors who have years of experience working within the industry. This helps them stay abreast about current events and trends related to Data.

Data science has become an increasingly important field as organizations have come to rely on data-driven decision making. As such, many professionals are turning to online or in-person training programs to gain expertise in this growing industry. Mumbai is one of the leading cities for data science and analytics training in India, offering a wealth of opportunities for those looking to enter the field or sharpen their skills. In this blog post, we’ll discuss what you can expect from a data science training in Mumbai and how you can make sure you get the most out of it.

One of the great things about attending a data science program in Mumbai is that there are numerous courses available at different levels and with varying focuses. Whether your goal is learning basic concepts or mastering more advanced topics, there's likely something suitable for everyone’s needs. Furthermore, because these programs are offered by experienced professionals within the industry, they provide students with invaluable insight into applied analytics techniques and real-world scenarios they may encounter while working professionally with data sets.

In addition to course content focusing on topics like machine learning algorithms and predictive modeling tools, some programs also offer workshops where participants can practice their newfound skills using actual datasets from various industries like finance or healthcare IT systems. These hands-on experiences not only help build confidence but also give participants valuable experience that will be useful once they start working professionally as well as prepare them for interviews should they choose to pursue job opportunities after finishing their studies.  

When selecting which program would best suit your needs when pursuing Data Science education in Mumbai it’s important to take into account factors such as price range (some courses cost over Rs 30k), duration (most programs last around 6 months) if classes will be held remotely or offline (many schools offer both), who teaches them (professionals usually teach remote classes while local universities/colleges host physical classes). It's also wise to check out reviews written by prior attendees so you know what kind of quality instruction goes into each class before enrolling yourself!

Regardless of which route individuals choose when getting trained up on Data Science fundamentals crucial components remain essential - regular attendance during lectures/workshops; actively participating during classroom discussions; staying up-to date with latest developments through reading blogs & research papers related subject matters; undertaking projects & assignments given by trainers etc. All these activities are necessary elements that need attention if one wants successful transition from being novice learner into proficient practitioner upon completion coursework

[mousetrap-if]

Mousetrap is now live on itch.io!

Well folks, it happened. Mousetrap was submitted last night to @interact-if's 2022 ranked game jam and is available to play on itch.io. The game is still a work in progress and, at this point, only a demo for the full story. Hope you enjoy it!

Click Here to Play

You're one of the many overworked interns working at Whimsey World. When it was announced that Imogen, a category three hurricane, would soon hit Orlando, Florida, your employers asked for volunteers to remain in the parks during the storm, promising triple pay for at least 24 hours. You and your friend seized the opportunity. After all, Whimsey wouldn't ask its cast members to stay behind if it was potentially dangerous.

That's what you assumed before you were knocked unconscious. Before you woke up in a costume chained to your friend and three strangers. Before Dickey the Rat informed you and your "team" that you get $250,000 for each person you kill. Before the neurotoxins pumping through the park's air system began to loosen your grip on reality. Before nightmares and the real world bled into a horrifying, broken fantasy you can't wake up from.

If you survive the storm (and the things lurking within it), you'll win riches beyond your wildest dreams. But how far are you willing to go? How committed are you to pleasing your guests and satisfying your spectators? The Show will go on. It will always go on. But what role will you play in it?

Twine Word Count: 53,625 with code (maybe like 48-50k without? idk, I write with code so I don't know how to estimate that)

Average Playthrough: 30 minutes (around 12-15k words)

And, is the game finished? Oh, no! Definitely not. This is far from the full story or the finished product (there are literally debug links that I forgot to take out in the very first passage).

Lots of content and features will be coming out in the near future alongside the patching that needs to take place. Details below.

The next update will hopefully be on March 5th (though I'm a university student dealing with midterms so that may change). Further updates will be announced on the Mousetrap blog (linked here).

Truly, from the bottom of my heart. I greatly appreciate all of the interest, support, and feedback that I've received on this project and others. If you're enjoying Mousetrap so far, please consider rating the game or leaving a comment on itch.io, reblogging this post, or sharing the game with a friend (or enemy, coworker, acquaintance, pet, stranger, distant cousin, really anyone/thing who you think might like it).

To read about some of my other projects, check out my personal game dev blog @gamesbyalbie or my project-specific blogs like @hadeskitchen or @zorlok-if.

(PS: The original extremely sleep-deprived version of this post has been preserved under the cut for posterity's sake)

Have a Magical Day!

DEMO | BLOG | INTRO POST | DEV LOG | CAST PROFILES & PORTRAITS | PLAYLIST | PINTEREST: MAIN, COSTUMES, SETS

ORIGINAL POST:

Well, I'm mentally and physically exhausted (literally falling asleep as I'm writing this so, this may be a little loopy too). BUT, Mousetrap was submitted to the game jam and is now live on the Itch.io store.

This is not the finished game (like there are debug links on the very first passage that I forgot to turn off, but I'll be updating this with plenty of fixes and a lot more content as soon as I'm allowed to).

Total word count (with code since I write with code) is over 53k words. Average playtime is about a half hour. For a game that I've conceived and written in just one already busy month, I'm pretty happy with that. (except for the debug links, those are bugging the shit out of me)

BONUS - in case you wanted to know what stress looks like:

Also, color me curious, if you want to and have the time to do so, let me know what choices you made (dream, relationships, role, route, etc.).

Tomorrow I'll be returning to Tumblr and catching up on everything I've missed. Have a great [insert your time here]! I'm falling asleep

asdlkfja kjd

( ^ imagine that was my head hitting the keyboard, that's what it feels like I'm about to do)

Okay, I'm going to sleep.

[detectivehannibal]

Pretty as a Picture

__

Hannibal Lecter x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Implications of smut.

A/N: Why do I keep disappearing from this blog?? I’ve had this idea for FOREVER. Fun fact about me, I sometimes recycle my works from other blogs. So if you’re curious, this is from my Harry Potter blog @seriouslysnape and here’s the original work.

Word Count: 1,738

“It’s not much...just a little something for your birthday.”

__

On the surface, surprises don’t really seem to come to mind when you think about Hannibal Lecter. The esteemed psychiatrist always came off to you as an open book. He was usually willing to share all aspects of his life with you, which naturally left you believing that there weren’t any secrets lurking further within himself. 

Oh, how wrong you were.

Despite all the things that you didn’t know about Hannibal, you knew him well enough to know the sorts of things that he has a fancy for and the things he doesn’t. As high maintenance and temperamental as he is, he is shockingly easy to please. It’s a bit of an ironic statement, but still the truth nonetheless. 

You could gift Hannibal with something as simple as a pair of socks or with something as extravagant as a brand new luxury suit, and he’d always have the same genuine, appreciative reaction. If something came from you, he would surely love it with his whole heart. 

This gift, however, was on a whole new level.

The idea had honestly come to you at random when you were brainstorming birthday present possibilities. Even though he would never admit it, he was a bit bored of you buying him a new tie for every occasion. He had a tie for every color, pattern, and even he could ever dream of. You wanted to think outside of the box this time. You wanted to come up with something that he would never ever think of. 

On the flip side, you also wanted to be sure that it was something that he could have for a long time and something that would have some real meaning to him. You could always go down the culinary appliance route, but he already had absolutely everything he’d ever possibly want or need. You were in a bit of a rut, but that’s when you got a wonderful thought.

Hannibal didn’t own many personal pictures. Most of the photos in his house were custom made art pieces that were worth more than the price of your left leg alone. Hannibal never struck you as the kind of man to have plethoras of pictures of loved ones, but you still found it odd. It’d be a win-win in your eyes. You’d supply Hannibal with some photos to hold on to, and it’d be a thoughtful gift.

Then your plan took a sultry turn.

You had picked out a large photo album that would match the aesthetic of his house, and an album that would have plenty of pages to fill up. You kept it stashed away in your closet until you were ready to put pictures inside of it when another idea came to mind. 

What if you made a sexy photo album for him?

At first, you were a little sheepish at the idea. Boudoir style pictures showing off only the dirtiest of contents? It seemed like that might be too much and even a bit weird. The longer you thought about it, though, the more and more the idea sounded good. Maybe Hannibal wouldn’t necessarily jump at the gift, but at least he’d have something to jerk off to when you weren’t around.

You assembled as many outfits as you could, some coming from your personal collection and some were purchased as a specialty to the production of the photos. You’d need some help actually having the photos taken, which is why you recruited one of your closest friends.

You could’ve had them professionally done, but you weren’t sure how comfortable you were with a photographer and group of modeling experts studying over your naked body for an entire day. Your friend was stoked for the project and dedicated a whole afternoon while Hannibal was at work to help you out. 

You took probably about a hundred pictures, all with varying poses, outfits, and locations around the house. You even took a few more innocent photos of you just smiling or doing candid things. You figured that you needed some sweet to balance out the spicy. 

You decorated the pages to add some pop and flare, ultimately thrilled with the final product. Hannibal’s birthday was only a few days away, and you were itching to show him what you had made for him. 

“You’re fidgety tonight.” Hannibal spoke from where he was laid out underneath you on the living room sofa. 

It was true, you had been extremely jittery for the last hour and a half, trying to compose yourself. Hannibal had told you that he had wanted nothing more than to have a quiet evening in for his birthday, which you found as a blessing because he’d definitely want to stay around the house after seeing his gift.

“Sorry. Just excited.” You admitted, seeing this as the perfect opportunity.

He raised a brow, looking down at your frame that was practically trembling with explosive animation. 

“I feel as if I don’t need to inform you that my birthday comes around every year,” He joked; “What’s gotten you so elated?”

You smiled up at him with a brightness that was almost blinding. You scrambled off of the sofa at your cue.

“Wait right here. I’ll be back.” You announced as you dashed up the stairs.

Hannibal chuckled to himself, already guessing as to what you were plotting. You returned shortly after with the picture book in hand, complete with a bow on top. You sat with your legs crossed in front of him, eagerly handing it to him.

“It’s not much...just a little something for your birthday.” You explained.

Hannibal sat up from where he was settled into the cushions, eyeing over the cover carefully. It was a beautifully crafted book, the dark leather was absolutely gorgeous. He pushed the bow off of the sides, opening to the very first page to see a sweet note you had written him, signed with your signature and all. He turned to the first page to actually contain photos on it, and a smile of pure joy spread on his face.

You had put all of the non-sexual pictures in the first two pages to disguise the actual reason for the book. You were smiling happily in each of the first several photos, wearing different casual outfits and in different places. 

“Darling, these are wonderful,” He complimented; “They’re stunning, they-”

His heartbeat quickened when he made it to the third page, and he noticed they had taken on a new theme. The scandalous photos were enough to knock him speechless. For the first time ever, you saw Hannibal’s cheeks break out into a deep blush. His fingertips trailed over one in particular where you were wearing one of his white work shirts with all the buttons undone. The only thing you were wearing underneath was one of his ties settled between your breasts. 

In other photos, you were wearing different sets of lingerie. There was one lacy, red colored set that almost made him faint right then and there.

He was knocked speechless, unable to string together a single sentence. You were beginning to feel a little self conscious, and you went back to your original worry that this was a bad idea. You had honestly expected him to completely attack you with feverish kisses or fuck you right then and there. The fact that he was completely silent was unsettling, because Hannibal Lecter always had something to say. 

Your voice was thick with uncertainty as you spoke to break the silence.

“Hannibal, do you...like them?” You wondered aloud.

His eyes never steered clear from the book in his hands and the photos presented in front of him. He turned to the next page, a rush of arousal flushing over him at one in particular where you were completely naked, stretched out on the massive kitchen counter and giving a look so seductive that it made his belly flutter. The sight of you naked in his culinary world where he spent so much time was a sight to behold.

“[Y/N], I love them. These photographs...they’re beautiful, well produced, and so, so sexy.” He breathed out.

You exhaled a breath of relief, feeling a sense of anticipation as he continued to rake over them. He turned to a new set of pictures, his hot blush growing even deeper onto his cheeks. He couldn’t look away from the scandalous photos, each one becoming dirtier than the last. He was riled up and he was already looking forward to having this book at his disposal.

His lips parted slightly ajar as he loomed over them. Your waiting was patient as he finished looking through them, his pupils dilating more and more by the minute. He closed the book once he was finished, his eyes finally flickering up to you. He had grown a very prevalent erection, and his eyes were filled with an intense amount of lust. Your suspicions had been correct after all. 

He was going to rock your world.

Hannibal usually didn’t try to make the first move. He always wanted you to initiate sex first. He believed that sex was a passionate, romantic connection that shouldn’t always be fueled by burning want and desire from outside resources. Based on the way he was looking at you though, you could tell that he wanted you BADLY. 

He nonchalantly rolled his hips forward to create some kind of friction. The sneaky grin on your face was almost maddening. The way that your body leaned in and your lips brushed over his just ever so was intoxicating. Your lips traveled to his ear as you purposefully let out a wanton moan to tantalize him. 

“Touch me, Hanni. I know you want to.” You coaxed.

That was all he needed. 

Hannibal lunged forward, smothering your body with his and suffocating you with hot kisses. He kept your hands pinned above your head, leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck as he intentionally drew the most wonderful sounds out of you. 

“What are the chances of you wearing one of those outfits under this sweater?” He said in a steamy voice.

You squirmed against his hands, but to no avail. When Hannibal didn’t want you to go anywhere, then you wouldn’t. You bit down on your lip in a seductive way, breathing out your response to send him into full on love making mode.

“Why don’t you find out?”

[rwhague]

How I Published my Novel: Using Indie Publishing Presses

If you have been following me long, you will know I wrote my novel, SURVIVING MIDAS, with intentions of getting it published. I went through the process of querying agents, taking part in #PitMad, and checking out countless manuscript wish lists. I am proud to say that my new novel will be release on August 24th, 2021. This is my story.

When I first wrote SURVIVING MIDAS, I thought ‘this is the greatest novel ever! People are going to love it!’ Actually, no. I didn’t think that. I thought it was crap, but it was the best crap I could produce. I had been down this publishing route before, spent more money than I’d like admit, and for nothing. My biggest fear is that it would happen again. So I did what I did not do last time: RESEARCH!

It’s amazing how many things you can learn if you just do a little research. I’m going to take you a bit on the journey that took me several years. If you are an experienced author, this probably won’t be new to you.

First off, I found out the press I went with last time was called a ‘vanity press’—a press that will print just about anything one sends them, but makes it sound like your novel was stupendous! Even if it’s littered with errors, plot holes and inconsistencies! I wrote another blog post on this if you are interested in this (not technically) scam. (click here for previous post). They prey on inexperience writers, getting them to pay for something they should be paid for. It’s a well-known racket too, but I was not plugged into a community of writers, so I had never heard of it. So the very next thing I did was get into a critique group.

I found my home on critiquecircle.com and have made several friends through that website. The site works on a point system where you receive points for critiquing someone else’s work so that you can post your own work. I put my first chapter up for review and immediately found out that it sucked. Like REALLY sucked. It was tough facing up to it, but I learned so much so quick! Then, as you critique other’s works, you begin to recognize mistakes and inconsistencies in your own work as well making you an excellent self-editor.

After getting my work critiqued (and swallowing my pride so I could make changes), I started the tedious and soul-crushing work of querying literary agents. I queried over 150 agents and I still do not have an agent. Here’s the deal: the barrier to entry is super high for writers. There are thousands of debut authors out there trying to gain the attention of a single literary agent. Publishing houses are looking for certain things, usually trending things. If your story is not on trend or so unique that a bookseller will have trouble setting it on the bookshelf, you will not get an agent.

My story is an older young adult novel dealing with drugs, trauma, abuse, and underworld crime bosses. It has a little romance, a few elements of literary fiction, and drama. It’s a lot. It doesn’t fit neatly into a box (and is far more unique than most things on the shelf today IMO). I’m marketing it as an older YA contemporary suspense. But you see my point: there’s not much on the market like it today.

So how did I get a publisher?

I participated in #PitMad on Twitter last November. You create a small blurb the length of a tweet and promote it all day in order to snag the attention of literary agents. Within fifteen minutes, City Limits Publishing liked my tweet, which is a request for querying. I did not receive another like from an agent the rest of the day.

I looked up City Limits Publishing. It is a small agency that opened in 2020. They publish a wide variety of books ranging from children’s to romance to mystery. I did not recognize any authors, and the literary agents I spoke too had not known of them. Keep in mind I have been scammed before, so my suspicions were on high alert. But they did not charge for publication and the royalties were higher than the general market.

I deliberated on this group for a long time. And finally, I gave them a chance.

And now my novel is coming out on August 24th!

So, what is the biggest fear I’m facing now with my publisher? Of course, the size of the press is concerning for the following reason: most of the marketing is going to fall on the author because of the small size of the platform; they might not be able to afford top of the line editors; the cover designs might be cheap. But go to City Limits Publishing and tell me what you think about their book covers. I think they’re gorgeous!

So what about marketing and editing?

City Limits is still a small press, so I’m going to have to do most of my marketing. Thankfully, the group has sent me a guide on developing social media presence, targeting audiences, designing websites, etc. and I’m actively doing all that. As it relates to editing, I don’t really know the quality of their editors because my piece did not require much editing! I mentioned my critique partners before. Thanks to their input, I had no plot holes and my scenes were written clearly. The story structure was intact, and received quite a bit of praise from the editing department about that!

Would I recommend all authors going indie? I honestly don’t know. It depends on what you want/can do. I could not afford to self-publish, so having someone pay for the creation of my book was important. I am doing most of the marketing, but in this day and age, who’s not? My book is not being put out by one of the Big 5 presses, but my percentage of royalties earned is much higher. My book will not be on the bookshelf in most of the big box stores, but will be available online for purchase at those outlets.

There are pros and cons to every method of publishing. This is still a risk, but so is all of life. But we make the most of it no matter what!

[itrvlr]

AN AMAZING STORY...

Here is an amazing story from a flight attendant on Delta Flight 15, written following 9-11

On the morning of Tuesday, September 11, we were about 5 hours out of Frankfurt, flying over the North Atlantic .

All of a sudden the curtains parted and I was told to go to the cockpit, immediately, to see the captain. As soon as I got there I noticed that the crew had that "All Business" look on their faces. The captain handed me a printed message. It was from Delta's main office in Atlanta and simply read, "All airways over the Continental United States are closed to commercial air traffic. Land ASAP at the nearest airport. Advise your destination."

No one said a word about what this could mean. We knew it was a serious situation and we needed to find terra firma quickly. The captain determined that the nearest airport was 400 miles behind us in Gander, New Foundland.

He requested approval for a route change from the Canadian traffic controller and approval was granted immediately -- no questions asked. We found out later, of course, why there was no hesitation in approving our request.

While the flight crew prepared the airplane for landing, another message arrived from Atlanta telling us about some terrorist activity in the New York area. A few minutes later word came in about the hijackings.

We decided to LIE to the passengers while we were still in the air. We told them the plane had a simple instrument problem and that we needed to land at the nearest airport in Gander , New Foundland, to have it checked out.

We promised to give more information after landing in Gander .. There was much grumbling among the passengers, but that's nothing new! Forty minutes later, we landed in Gander. Local time at Gander was 12:30 PM .... that's 11:00 AM EST.

There were already about 20 other airplanes on the ground from all over the world that had taken this detour on their way to the US.

After we parked on the ramp, the captain made the following announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, you must be wondering if all these airplanes around us have the same instrument problem as we have. The reality is that we are here for another reason."

Then he went on to explain the little bit we knew about the situation in the US. There were loud gasps and stares of disbelief. The captain informed passengers that Ground control in Gander told us to stay put.

The Canadian Government was in charge of our situation and no one was allowed to get off the aircraft. No one on the ground was allowed to come near any of the air crafts. Only airport police would come around periodically, look us over and go on to the next airplane.

In the next hour or so more planes landed and Gander ended up with 53 airplanes from all over the world, 27 of which were US commercial jets.

Meanwhile, bits of news started to come in over the aircraft radio and for the first time we learned that airplanes were flown into the World Trade Center in New York and into the Pentagon in DC.

People were trying to use their cell phones, but were unable to connect due to a different cell system in Canada . Some did get through, but were only able to get to the Canadian operator who would tell them that the lines to the U.S. were either blocked or jammed.

Sometime in the evening the news filtered to us that the World Trade Center buildings had collapsed and that a fourth hijacking had resulted in a crash. By now the passengers were emotionally and physically exhausted, not to mention frightened, but everyone stayed amazingly calm.

We had only to look out the window at the 52 other stranded aircraft to realize that we were not the only ones in this predicament.

We had been told earlier that they would be allowing people off the planes one plane at a time. At 6 PM, Gander airport told us that our turn to deplane would be 11 am the next morning.

Passengers were not happy, but they simply resigned themselves to this news without much noise and started to prepare themselves to spend the night on the airplane.

Gander had promised us medical attention, if needed, water, and lavatory servicing.

And they were true to their word.

Fortunately we had no medical situations to worry about. We did have a young lady who was 33 weeks into her pregnancy. We took REALLY good care of her. The night passed without incident despite the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements.

About 10:30 on the morning of the 12th a convoy of school buses showed up. We got off the plane and were taken to the terminal where we went through Immigration and Customs and then had to register with the Red Cross.

After that we (the crew) were separated from the passengers and were taken in vans to a small hotel. We had no idea where our passengers were going. We learned from the Red Cross that the town of Gander has a population of 10,400 people and they had about 10,500 passengers to take care of from all the airplanes that were forced into Gander!

We were told to just relax at the hotel and we would be contacted when the US airports opened again, but not to expect that call for a while.

We found out the total scope of the terror back home only after getting to our hotel and turning on the TV, 24 hours after it all started.

Meanwhile, we had lots of time on our hands and found that the people of Gander were extremely friendly. They started calling us the "plane people." We enjoyed their hospitality, explored the town of Gander and ended up having a pretty good time.

Two days later, we got that call and were taken back to the Gander airport. Back on the plane, we were reunited with the passengers and found out what they had been doing for the past two days.

What we found out was incredible.....

Gander and all the surrounding communities (within about a 75 Kilometer radius) had closed all high schools, meeting halls, lodges, and any other large gathering places. They converted all these facilities to mass lodging areas for all the stranded travelers.

Some had cots set up, some had mats with sleeping bags and pillows set up.

ALL the high school students were required to volunteer theirtime to take care of the "guests."

Our 218 passengers ended up in a town called Lewisporte, about 45 kilometers from Gander where they were put up in a high school. If any women wanted to be in a women-only facility, that was arranged.

Families were kept together. All the elderly passengers were taken to private homes.

Remember that young pregnant lady? She was put up in a private home right across the street from a 24-hour Urgent Care facility.There was a dentist on call and both male and female nurses remained with the crowd for the duration.

Phone calls and e-mails to the U.S. and around the world were available to everyone once a day. During the day, passengers were offered "Excursion" trips.

Some people went on boat cruises of the lakes and harbors. Some went for hikes in the local forests.

Local bakeries stayed open to make fresh bread for the guests.

Food was prepared by all the residents and brought to the schools. People were driven to restaurants of their choice and offered wonderful meals. Everyone was given tokens for local laundry mats to wash their clothes, since luggage was still on the aircraft.

In other words, every single need was met for those stranded travelers.

Passengers were crying while telling us these stories. Finally, when they were told that U.S. airports had reopened, they were delivered to the airport right on time and without a single passenger missing or late. The local Red Cross had all the information about thewhereabouts of each and every passenger and knew

which plane they needed to be on and when all the planes were leaving. They coordinated everything beautifully.

It was absolutely incredible.

When passengers came on board, it was like they had been on a cruise. Everyone knew each other by name. They were swapping stories of their stay, impressing each other with who had the better time. Our flight back to Atlanta looked like a chartered party flight. The crew just stayed out of their way. It was mind-boggling.

Passengers had totally bonded and were calling each other by their first names, exchanging phone numbers, addresses, and email addresses.

And then a very unusual thing happened.

One of our passengers approached me and asked if he could make an announcement over the PA system. We never, ever allow that. But this time was different. I said "of course" and handed him the mike. He picked up the PA and reminded everyone about what they had just gone through in the last few days.

He reminded them of the hospitality they had received at the hands of total strangers.

He continued by saying that he would like to do something in return for the good folks of Lewisporte.

"He said he was going to set up a Trust Fund under the name of DELTA 15 (our flight number). The purpose of the trust fund is to provide college scholarships for the high school students of Lewisporte.

He asked for donations of any amount from his fellow travelers. When the paper with donations got back to us with the amounts, names, phone numbers and addresses, the total was for more than $14,000!

"The gentleman, a MD from Virginia , promised to match the donations and to start the administrative work on the scholarship. He also said that he would forward this proposal to Delta Corporate and ask them to donate as well.

As I write this account, the trust fund is at more than $1.5 million and has assisted 134 students in college education.

"I just wanted to share this story because we need good stories right now. It gives me a little bit of hope to know that some people in a faraway place were kind to some strangers who literally dropped in on them.

It reminds me how much good there is in the world."

"In spite of all the rotten things we see going on in today's world this story confirms that there are still a lot of good people in the world and when things get bad, they will come forward.

*This is one of those stories that need to be shared. Please do so...*

[oursustainablefuture]

What A Year As A Small Business Owner Taught Me About Sustainability, Upcycling, Thrifting, and Running a Brand

Written By Campbell Fauber for Our Sustainable Future 

In Summer 2019, I launched the first collection of my sustainable clothing brand, Dauntless Denim,  curious to see how people would respond. While I did not focus on creating an array of clothes, I decided to focus on thrifting and upcycling denim jackets, which was something I had never tried before. In short, thrifting and upcycling are two specific ways we, as consumers, can keep our planet cleaner. This process was exciting but challenging, and I definitely learned a lot. Here are some important things I learned along the way. 

1. If You Can Upcycle, Do It! 

Upcycling is a way consumers can reuse something they own by transforming it into something new and unique. In my own life, I began thinking of ways I could practice sustainability, which involved trying on a more personal level to keep myself from getting rid of clothes I didn’t wear anymore. I decided to upcycle thrifted denim jackets that I found at a local secondhand shop. I gave the jackets a new life by sewing on colorful fabrics that were bold and eye-catching. Upcycling is a great way to make something new out of what you already own and encourages creativity and self-expression. Upcycling is also environmentally-friendly because it helps reduce what goes into a landfill, such as clothes. With all of this in mind, I encourage you to find a piece of old clothing in your closet (or even something laying around your house) and consider upcycling it or, rather, transforming it into something completely new and reimagined. 

2. When In Doubt, Thrift. 

Before I started Dauntless Denim, I had gone to Goodwill a few times to look for some old clothes I could wear again. However, it wasn’t until I officially started my business that I had truly learned how great thrifting was for the environment. I found a local secondhand shop near my house and decided to stop in and see what it was like inside. There were organized racks of clothes of all kinds (e.g. sizes, colors, brands). It was incredible to see so many items ranging from men’s to women’s to kids that were for sale. Immediately, I headed to the denim section and soon discovered a rack of old denim jackets that I could use for my first denim jacket launch. I picked out a few pieces, which were way cheaper than the original price (a perk of thrifting!), and left the store feeling happy and accomplished. All in all, I encourage you to thrift whenever possible. Not only does thrifting help reduce clothing waste, it also helps support your community and establishes your new sense of style. You can also (often) find high-quality clothes for extremely low prices, which is a win-win! Lastly, thrifting is a better option than shopping at fast fashion brands. Consider thrifting at your local secondhand shop for some fresh clothing finds. 

3. You Can’t Be 100% Sustainable, But You Can Try And Do Your Part

Another thing I learned about owning a sustainable small business is that not everything you do is going to be 100% sustainable. Like many other companies and brands, there is never going to be a way to be fully eco-friendly, whether it be in supply chain or production practices. In other words, there is still going to be waste of some kind and the environment will still be impacted in some way, shape, or form. However, what helped me in the early stages of planning my business was that if I can try and do my part for the environment (in my case, it was upcycling denim jackets in order to keep them out of landfills), I could feel lile I am doing what I can to help keep the environment a little bit cleaner. I also realized that even if I do my part in trying to help the planet, I am not capable of impacting the environment in such a large way that the climate change crisis is magically solved. Knowing this, though, I still feel like I need to do my part, even in a small way, to keep my community cleaner and more educated about sustainable practices, including upcycling and thrifting.

4. Cultivating Your Own Ideas & A Brand Takes A Lot of Brainstorming

Something else that I had to take into consideration when I pondered whether or not I wanted to start my own business was what my brand was going to be centered around and what types of ideas I had that would help distinguish me from other brands. I began brainstorming what I envisioned my brand to look like. What was I passionate about? What was feasible and within my skill set? What did I want to potentially sell? All of these questions were top of mind when I first started to wonder what I was going to do with my business. Then, I began trying to think of ways I could create a unique brand that was unlike others I had seen before. That’s when I decided to take the route of sustainability and upcpcycling, which was honestly something that I had been thinking on and off about earlier. Upcycling was also something that had crossed my mind a few times, but I had never really sat down and thought about how I would implement it into my business model. The moral of the story is to not be afraid of starting your own business! The entire process is exciting and motivating. However, it is important to keep in mind that it does take a lot of time and effort to create a brand that is equally unique and feasible. Make sure you are passionate about what you’re doing and don’t be afraid to think outside the box and get outside your comfort zone a little bit. 

5. Social Media Marketing Taught Me More Than Just Marketing!

For me, creating a sustainable brand, and a business in general, meant that I had to spend a lot of time brainstorming and researching the different ways I could effectively create products and also engage with consumers and my community. For example, I had to practically teach myself how to do social media marketing and use Etsy as a platform to sell my products. While this was indeed time consuming, I learned a lot about myself throughout the process. First, I learned that I have to always stay on top of trends in order to sell products (mainly denim jackets and later on, masks) that would catch the eye of the consumer and be relevant enough to do well among similar products. Secondly, I learned that when using platforms such as Instagram to show off my designs, I have to be deliberate in terms of what I post, when I do it, and what I choose to write about in my captions. The more time I spent on social media, the more I learned the ins and outs of digital marketing and the ways I could target consumers. Thirdly, I learned that I have to be patient during this process. Many times since I started my brand, I got too frustrated with myself when something didn’t go right. I immediately wanted to give up and I began questioning what I was doing and if being a business owner was even the right path for me. However, once I took a step back and learned to not put so much pressure on myself for things that didn’t necessarily go right the first time, I could approach each and every situation with more understanding and more clarity. As a result, this helped me market my products better on social media and reach a larger audience that really felt connected to my brand and what I was selling. Looking back on my experiences, I wouldn’t trade being a small business owner for the world.

Interested in learning more about Campbell’s brand? Follow her Instagram @dauntlessdenim to stay updated on her newest releases & her Etsy @shopdauntlessdenim. Also, check out her most recent mask releases as well as the one-of-a-kind upcycled jackets and skirts that are still available for purchase on her Etsy Shop. 

[nalyria]

God Michael! 🤣🤣 I finished playing Shadows of Saintsfour about two days ago during the Freeplay event and my LI was Michael.

I played SOS awhile ago but didn't get pass season 1 because I thought the series was super predictable which made it boring, but WOW DID IT PICK UP IN SEASON 2, esp 3!!! I can't believe it got better within those 2 seasons. I thought the story would be dragging on for no reason, but was pleasantly surprised that season 3 and season 2 were tied together with 1. And they existed in one cohesive story! I can't believe that I would have never, and I mean NEVER, would have touched this story again if it wasn't for the Freeplay event. I completely underestimated this story... I would have missed out this gem. Now I see why this is one of the more well-liked and popular book of the app now.

That being said, I love Michael. No not love, I ADORE him. Seriously.

I never screencap game moments but I had to for Michael. I never felt so much adoration for a character that made me want to do this 🤣🤣. I love the romantic scenes between MC and Michael and the conflict that was presented in season 2. And his asshole-douchery flaw....

In his next line, he says he's worried about you. He's just worried, but still Michael, no need to bring your girlfriend's friend down. ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT FRIEND HAS BEEN WITH HER THROUGH THE THICK AND THIN THAN YOU DID IN SEASON 2 and 1!!! (ofc Michael saved MC's life in season 1, but Derek has been sticking with MC when Michael hasn't, which is alot)

However, his sweetness towards MC is altogether too much. I wish he had more interaction with her friends tbh. But now I present the last line (I think) and perhaps the best from Michael...

So sweet 💕. Gosh he is still fallen head over heels for us 😳😭 like the first time. The sex scene with him was also so sweet... the line said everytging about him is familiar, yet there is something new to discover. 🥺I love how protective he is of MC and how absolutely loyal he is to her. He runs away with her FFS!!!! He leaves a gang and family with an equally traumatized brother just to be with her. He leaves everything for MC and if that doesn't scream Bae material, I don't know what else. He is the epitome of a ride or die partner and I cannot, I don't think, can feel the same attachment to the other LI's in this book. Probably John though lol.

I was super anxious during the train station scene because I thought I didn't have enough points with Michael for him to run away with me and the writers made it seem so, so I tapped pretty fast, half reading the lines in trepidation. When I read that he actually came and then we held hands as the train departed... my heart... 😭💔💔💔💔 RC don't play with my heart like that 🤣🤣🤣

That aside, I wish Michael had a bigger role in season 1, 2, and 3. He did in season 1, but he stopped appearing frequently, esp in 2 and 3. I thought he would appear more often because he's MC's bf. And it would make more sense for both of them to search together. Even unromanced, it would still make sense for Michael to hang with MC's group because they're the only ones who are really actively looking for Bobby. This would have led to more dynamics and interest in MC's friend group..alas, this didn't happen. A missed opportunity IMO but I suppose his absence could be explained by this: he has his own life. Lol. Or a different way of doing things. Still doesn't really make sense to me, but oh well. I still very enjoy his route and his development nonetheless.

I also wish other LI's had more moments with MC. I heard Stephanie was sidelined, not sure though because it was as though the main love interests would only appear around the time our chosen love interest appears. Not sure how much that is true since in season 1 I didn't romance her. Strange how she barely appeared in my route though. I thought she would help us more or become part of the gang, but she didn't. Disappointed because I would have def liked another best friend besides Candy and again, more layer to the friend group. Her interaction with Michael would have def be interesting.

I also wish that non-romanced main love interests appeared more than the Black dragons. To me, I don't think their role fit with the story very well if you think about it. Luke and Stephanie def would. Stephanie's grandma is acquainted with Mrs. Hill and is a witch; Luke's family's hold over the cursed painting. I wish the black dragons' appearances were at least shared with the non-romanced ones. Like I wish I knew what Luke and Stephanie were up to in detail. It was seriously strange for Luke to not be around when Bobby was missing and that he never tried contacting us. In both seasons 2 and 3, I couldn't stop wondering what they were up to and missed them (although Luke drugged us lol).

So imo, the black dragons' role should def be less than Luke and Stephanie. Definitely weird, but it is what it is.

Speaking of the Black Dragon's, Aaron is a hot daddy. Like GOD DAMN. I couldn't help but flirt and kiss with him although I was scared that it might ruin my relationship with Michael 🤣🤣🤣. Cherry.. i would like cherry if he was drawn better. At first, I couldn't like him because of his sprite but his personality is ahh, so mischievous, I love it. I would have picked Aaron over cherry though LOL.

I would replay season 3 to romance them again, but the scenes are very few and I already played most of them. I'm just missing their final sex scenes really, so it's not really worth it to replay the entire season just to get their ending and final sex scene lol.

I can't bear to cheat on Michael with Aaron or cherry, I can't do him dirty like that. Like for FFS, Aaron married Luke's sister and we never, at least imo, build the same heart wrenching connection we do with Michael compared to them. And the fact that he freaking left everything in his life for 10 years to be with us!! Like nooo I can't!! 🤣🤣 there aren't enough scenes with the side characters to justify the cheating 🤣🤣 Michael is too gentle and sweet for the hurt.... but i did cheat on him with Derek HAHHAHA mostly because 1996 Michael wasn't available so I thought something happened so I was like ALRIGHT GUESS WE FUCKIN'. I was tempted to choose Derek over Michael because Derek has been with us more than Michael has. Not to mention, he really cares for MC. Wish there was a 3p ending with both of them 😭😭 they're both super loyal to MC and would lay their life down for her.

The same thing with John too. I can't bear to see Michael grieving over MC and MC picking John over him... can you imagine Michael dying and finally seeing his dearly desired dead gf in DreamWorld but only to see her gettin' it down with some guy who tried to kill everyone in the past? 🤣🤣🤣 nah man I can't do him dirty, especially when Michael saved us from the Faun. Speaking of that event, it was weird that there wasn't a conversation/consequence from Michael who saw John kiss us LOL. And he definitely heard us talking about the intimate moments we shared HAHAHAHA. Though, John's short route is terribly cute. I really enjoyed it tbh. Surprised that we didn't have any repercussions for cheating on Michael with him. Moving on, I watched his ending on YouTube and it was super bittersweet.😭

I honestly like his route a bit more than Aaron's. Or equally. Can't decide! Aaron's route is basically MC still in love with her old crush who used to intimidate her and was exciting since he's someone you wouldn't acquaint yourself with, especially as a young, inexperienced student. And then coming back as a mature woman, and still knowing that you're in love with him and he is still too, ah so cute. That moment you share with him in the snow on the swings 💕💕. Honestly I feel like that moment MC needed a proper adult figure to comfort her so that scene was a bit weird and made me think, hm, MC is probably crushing on him because he is older, hot, and is sort of providing a parental comfort to her lol. In my HC universe, MC crushes on him, but it quickly dies because she was vulnerable in the moment. I'm happy that that moment didn't escalate any further and that Aaron didn't chase MC unless MC did in the end. It would have been very weird because it would have been a moment where he, as an adult figure, take advantage of MC. Then again, it's fantasy/fiction. To each to their own eh? I still enjoyed it. I honestly could personally relate to the line where Mc says that the experience and age (something like this) provided comfort to her, so that moment felt awfully sweet to me.

In the end, there could only be so much you can push in in a story game app.

I still really enjoyed this story. Despite the flaws I pointed out, I love this story to every bits. I find this much more entertaining than SOTF, so I'm glad that it is written the way it is. Perhaps I should write a post about SOTF in the future since I'm close to finishing it, but I don't think I will since I don't like it much.

[kamil-a]

what is this, some kind of ~SaFe SpAcE~? thoughts on hnkna and escapism.

Disclaimer, first off: i dont really know the sort of 00′s Japanese dating sim fandom culture hnkna was responding to and born as part of. So, much like people’s takes on the original Alice in Wonderland, this is mainly an emotional response based on how it relates to things i do have experience with.

The second disclaimer is that this is more emotionally driven than written by any sort of strict literary acedemicness.

the third is i’ve finished only two of the available routes so far (and wrote this before that, even.)

I’m almost certain I finally started playing hnkna because something in boyfriend dungeon (no, not that part) upset me so much I wanted to take a break and play something else. so with that game fresh on people’s minds, it became a thing jokingly brought up a lot by me and my friends at first- bfd wants its players to be comfortable, hnkna does not. bfd got in trouble for insufficient warnings for some fairly light (in terms of the genre lol) stalking, hnkna hits the pov character with a mandatory nonconsensual kiss/force feeding within the first, like, hour, and if you’re not lucky enough to have a friend who’d played it first warn you, too bad. there are no warnings in hnkna- not for content, and not even when you’re about to make a permanent decision (like where to move).

hnkna is about escapism, in a very literal sense. im fascinated with how the framing of a game within a game allows the characters to talk very frankly about realworld, human experiences with fiction (yeah, guys, why do we crave the fantasy of a dating sim?) without turning to fourth-wall-breaking tropes, not that it’d seem tired yet when the game came out. nightmare, your dream demon/isekai coordinator/therapist/meta guide/pathetic little caterpillar man, brings up a lot of these conversations. alice, are you afraid of being loved?

there’s two real layers of escapism in wonderland, and in my opinion they map really well onto real-world escapism types. the first being

wonderland 

wonderland is somewhere alice can go that allows her to get away from the pain and grief of her sister’s death. she carries some history with her- her mother’s death, for example, and the subconscious knowledge of her sister’s death as she idolizes her in a way she later says is reserved for the dead- but the things she can’t bring herself to think about just aren’t there. she can focus on new people, a new job, being a productive and active member of her new society. it’s a lot like media and fandom escapism in real life- a community you can bond with and forget your troubles for a bit.

but wonderland is not safe - only a safe escape from her former problems. wonderland is a very dangerous place where everyone is in conflict all the time forever (also like fandom). and, this is probably totally unintentional by the text, but i do find it really interesting how some of the most popularly complained about dangers in fandom content- content that romanticizes sexual assault, incest, and pedophilia - is all right there in wonderland (i know the tweedles are Technically Not Kids etc but like.... the doylist level of it yknow). so alice escapes to wonderland for the same underlying reason many of us escape to fandom, and finds an exaggerated, over the top version of the same issues anybody deeply online will run into.

living in wonderland also, as alice points out many times, means abandoning those who rely on her at home. (the donating to ao3 instead of those in need argument, if you will.)

dreams

the second safe space in hnkna is alice’s dreams, and this one is truly safe. nobody can hurt alice in her dreams in any real way, and she probably can’t hurt nightmare either. if she wanted for whatever reason to dream about doing a bunch of awful violence to a field of cute little bunnies, she probably could, with no real consequence. at one point, after she accidentally dreams up some sea monsters, nightmare even makes the dream space an area where her own subconscious can’t project anything that can hurt her. dreams are a space for alice to have all the control and do anything she wants. she has ultimate control, and...... she can’t relax. she gets nervous when details aren’t quite right, like turtles in a lake when they should be in the sea. she can’t let go and just mentally throw spaghetti at the wall.

(i will point out here what a friend of mine suggested - it’s catholic guilt. shes just christian, is all. which didn’t occur to me but it honestly might be the answer plain and simple.)

i think - and it could just be me - that it feels very uncomfortable to have a thought you shouldn’t share. if you’ve had a thought- and it’s not bad, right, you’re not bad - so your thought can’t be bad- so why not share it? and if you’ve thought something you really must not say- well, then, it’s a bad thought, and it kind of sucks that you even thought it.

now, i haven’t gone through all of the game just yet, but here’s something im starting to get the feeling about - it’s stance is ‘ppl do things that suck and that’s okay’. alice values her relationship with vivaldi more than the lives of the people vivaldi murders- and she feels bad about it, but she knows she’s not going to change, and all there is to do is sit with it. i haven’t gotten a stay ending yet, but my guess is it’ll be more of the same (hi, it's future me! I've seen Vivaldi's staying in wonderland ending. nothing huge to add, just that I've seen it). yes, i’m repressing my grief forever and abandoning the rest of my living family, my friends, etc - but this works for me right now, and i don’t have it in me to stop. in the real world, a lot of content online will have some utterly heinous shit in it- and this will continue forever and there’s nothing you can do about it, because its authors will not listen to you for whatever reason (they do not speak your language, they wrote it at least ten years ago, they see no reason to listen to some nerd whos name they do not know, etc). fandom will eclipse my real life responsibilities- and i can’t bring myself to stop. you sit with the guilt and then you move on. it’s not healthy, but it works in the moment, and what is life but a collection of moments you need to make work? it’s not condemning or praising, just... neutral. it’s a thing that people do.

[bubble-tea-bunny]

bloom

[claude von riegan x reader]

author’s note: i got fe: three houses over christmas break and fell absolutely in love w claude oml. i’ve only finished the golden deer route so far and i wanna do blue lion next, just not too sure when since i’m back in school, and i am busy. rip

word count: 7,152

Being set atop a hill, Garreg Mach Monastery is afforded beautiful views of the countryside every single morning. Rolling hills are silhouetted against a dark sky giving way to reds and oranges as the sun rises. Mist is low on the ground, a haze in the air like you’re dreaming. Dewdrops rest on blades of grass and birds hidden in branches sing to each other, and maybe they’re sharing poems about the wind catching under their wings. The weather is crisp and cool, cool enough to see one’s breath with every exhale, and it might be best to enjoy the cold and early hours from indoors, where it is warm and cozy with the flagstone floors, wooden rafters, and blazing fireplaces.

The romanticized musings of winter mornings are fully lost on the Golden Deer house today, as they have been the last couple of weeks. Instead, the air is harsh and bitter, biting at their cheeks left unprotected. They stand shivering in the field, simultaneously yearning for the coziness of the monastery and for Professor Byleth to finish giving out directions so that they might finally start moving around and hopefully get some warmth back in their systems.

Professor Byleth’s classes focus primarily on practicals, and Golden Deer had thus far been perfectly fine with that. The lecture halls could quickly grow suffocating, and the general quiet within them, save for a professor’s voice, made it all too simple to doze off. But when training takes them outdoors is when the blood truly gets flowing, for they’re afforded the chance to move around and spar, pushing each other to their limits. The golden deer love their homeroom professor dearly, of course, but with lowered temperatures comes lowered motivation to be out in the field first thing in the morning, and despite this being the start of the third week since winter began, they highly doubt they will ever grow used to the chill.

Claude thinks he might fall asleep right where he’s standing. Another issue with morning practicals this time of year is that the sun rises later. As someone whose internal clock tends to sync with the movement of the sun through the sky, he isn’t quite up to his typical level of jokes and antics until the day has fully broken.

His eyes close. The professor is addressing Leonie’s question, so he takes those several seconds to rest them as if that might be enough to get energized. His fingers feel frozen around the grip of his bow and he’s certain they’re stuck. He’ll need to unthaw in front of a fireplace when this is over. A nice, warm fire sure sounds wonderful right now…

Grass sifts beneath the boots of someone coming closer and Claude’s eyes slide back open. He glances to his left and grins tiredly.

“Hey, [Name],” he starts quietly, for you’re not standing very far. “Do you have any spells that might wake me up? Or at least feel warmer?”

You smile, sympathetic and similarly fatigued, and shake your head. “Unfortunately not, Claude.” Your cheeks and nose are red, and you punctuate your statement with a sniffle.

“I’m turning into an ice block out here,” Claude continues. The two of you are in the back, so there’s no issue of the professor overhearing. “Almost makes me wish for Hanneman’s history lectures instead.”

At this, you chuckle. For Claude, that’s no small claim. He’s fallen asleep in said lectures before, and you’ve had to wake him up before Hanneman noticed and woke him up himself. But you find you’d have to agree. While you mind them less, and can stay awake the whole way through, you do prefer the fresh air. Just… perhaps not when the cold is making your fingers numb even in your gloves.

After Professor Byleth has fielded everyone’s queries, she sets you all loose to begin your training. Everyone shares the same sentiment as they split off, but it’s Hilda who gives voice to the mutual relief inherent within them all at finally moving: I thought I was going to freeze in place if I was standing still any longer!

Once class is done, the sun has fully emerged from its hiding place and the chill is less severe. Claude isn’t bothered by it anymore, however, and he doubts his classmates are either. The professor’s practicals aren’t easy, and they’ve only gotten more difficult as the moons pass and everyone is well past the point of beginner. With blood pumping and heartbeats racing, there was no room left to feel cold.

The other two houses emerge from their classrooms and the corridors are filled with students. Professor Byleth has to raise her voice to be heard above the hustle and bustle, parting with a  commendation for another job well done today. She separates herself from the crowds to return to her classroom, and Lysithea and Lorenz follow after her to ask a question. As for the rest of the house, you join the sea of people. There was some time yet until the next set of lectures, and in your case, you’re keen to freshen up.

Mail comes in at the beginning of the week. You don’t expect many letters. You expect only one, in fact. Every Monday, like clockwork, you collect the envelope with the familiar wax seal keeping it closed. What’s different about the letter today is that it’s accompanied by a small burlap pouched tied up with twine. It confuses you to receive, and you’re wondering what it could be, but despite the distraction, you say your thanks to the courier before taking your leave.

You settle down at a table in the reception hall to review your mail. Carefully you peel open the envelope, breaking the seal, and pull out the letter folded parchment. The correspondence opens with your name, written immaculately in your brother’s handwriting, and the noise around you seems to melt away and you’re not in the monastery but rather, somewhere closer to home, somewhere like home.

You and Ludwig exchange letters regularly, as you made him promise to do before you’d left to begin your schooling at the officers academy. You’d always been close, and he shares with you the goings-on of being head of the guard. He’s privy to many of the discussions your father has with other houses, as is necessary if he’s to take over one day, but he still laments the boringness of it all, sparing you of no detail regarding how heavy his eyelids felt, how the monotone voice of some such lord or other seemed to go on and on and on… (You can practically hear his exasperation and you giggle. Poor Ludwig.)

With the remark that he hopes he hasn't just made you want to fall asleep on the spot too, he changes the subject and turns the conversation on you. This is where you finally get an answer about what’s in the small bag, now sitting on the table: they’re peony seeds. Your eyes light up upon reading this.

I bought them at the market the other day, Ludwig writes. I know you’ve been asking me to send some. Peonies are native to the area where your home city is located, and they grow in abundance there. The greenhouse at the monastery is lacking in the pink flower, and you recently requested that Ludwig sends you seeds if he was able so you could cultivate your own. You’d gone from seeing them daily to not at all, and you’d come to miss them. A ghost of a smile rests on your lips as you pick up the bag, clutching it in your hand and already formulating the heartfelt thanks you will send in your letter back.

There’s a break in Ludwig’s letter then, a new line, a new paragraph, as if a new thought has just occurred to him.

You know what these symbolize, don’t you? Maybe when they grow, you can give them to the one you love most.

Ludwig closes with well wishes and reminders to study hard even though it bears no reminding. You’re studious, more so than he during his time attending the academy. He never could sit with his nose in a book for long. But it’s his obligation as your older brother, he argues, that he tell you to work hard—I want to see you succeed! So don’t let me down, okay?

You remain sitting after you finish reading, processing all the information. Getting letters from Ludwig is a great way to start your week, and nearly makes up for the fact that your morning practicals since the start of winter are a harsh wake up call after lazy and relaxing weekends. You’re always eager to reply, and you plan to write your response tonight and have it sent out first thing tomorrow morning. Then begins the waiting game again.

Your eyes slide back up the piece of parchment, paragraph by paragraph, reviewing every topic covered. Upon reaching the topic about the present he sent, your head tilts thoughtfully. Burlap and twine scratch at the soft skin of your palm. You look down at it, like you can see the seeds inside, and your cheeks are feeling warm. The one I love most…

“There you are!”

Being so deep in thought, you don’t notice someone approaching, and you jump at the loud interruption, nearly dropping the letter and the pouch of seeds in your surprise. Claude smiles apologetically and rubs the back of his neck. “Whoa! Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that.”

“It’s fine,” you brush it off with a dismissive wave and a smile. But your face is still burning, your mind lingering on the subject of peonies and true loves. You clear your throat and try to will away the heat, though it’s to no avail, and you know better than to assume Claude, ever so curious Claude, would brush over the reddening of your cheeks which the cold isn’t responsible for.  

“What’s got you blushing so much this morning?”

You shake your head. “It’s nothing.” Before he can try to goad you to give more information (because you know he wants to), you tuck Ludwig’s letter back in the envelope and stand up. “You ready to go to class?”

Claude’s grin is mischievous but he doesn’t pry anymore as he nods instead, and the two of you exit the reception hall. Dodging the question won’t work with him. He’ll find a roundabout way to come back to the topic after considering what the answer could possibly be, offering up his guesses for you to confirm or deny. But for once you doubt he’ll get this one, and you don’t know that you have the confidence to admit to him that he’s the root cause.

You walk slightly behind and look up at him briefly, staring at the back of his head. You imagine the scenario and can see him now, chuckling as he accepts the bouquet of peonies and pondering aloud if it isn’t he who’s supposed to be giving the flowers. You’ll laugh at his small quip because he always makes you laugh with little asides like that, then you’ll ask if he knows what they mean. And if he doesn’t, you’ll sheepishly tell him, your heart alight with the hope that maybe, hopefully, your affections are reciprocated.

The what-if has your cheeks bursting in warmth once more and you hastily look down at the ground, focusing hard on the motion of your boots as you take each step. The blush needs to be gone by the time you get to the lecture hall, or else other people will ask about it too and you can’t have that!

Once you feel the dusting of pink has gone from your face, you quickly spare one more glance up at Claude. This time he seems to notice and glances over his shoulder, flashing you a quick smile. You smile back instinctually, though it fades once he turns his attention back in front of him.

Or maybe it's too much to hope for, that your relationship could extend beyond anything more than friends. Doubts nag at the back of your mind that he won’t feel the same, and that your confession will have upset the current balance. You fear the prospect of it doing the total opposite and pushing Claude away. Why risk ruining a good thing?

———

Professor Hanneman’s most recent writing assignment practically makes the library a second home for you and Claude. You stay there for hours, poring over old tomes for material to reference in your essay. You see your fellow classmates there occasionally and wave hello, but no one seems to be in there are often as you both. It leads to Claude wondering half-seriously if there’s some lecture you could’ve somehow missed that had pertinent information for this paper. You can only shrug helplessly.

“Maybe I’ll ask Marianne if I can take a look at her notes…” you murmur, flipping through your own. You speak quietly because of the environment, but as far as anyone on the outside is concerned, you may also be doing it because you’re speaking to yourself. Claude’s resting his head on his propped up hand, his eyes having slid shut a few minutes ago.

But you know better, and you smile slightly as you turn to look at him. He hasn’t knocked out quite yet, and at your comment, his eyes open. He sighs, exhaustion creeping up on him, and also glances over what he has written so far.

“Yeah, I could probably go ask Ignatz. He takes good notes.” Claude sits up and yawns, which prompts you to check the time.

The clock on the far wall denotes it’s early afternoon, but being cooped up in the library, the last couple of hours have crawled along and felt like much longer. With a sigh, you gather up your notes, careful not to accidentally grab any of Claude’s. “As much fun as we’re having”—Claude’s laugh earns him a shush from the nearby monk organizing the shelves—“I need to get going. I’m meeting Professor Manuela at the greenhouse.”

Given that Professor Manuela specializes in healing magic, you often spend your free periods with her to better hone your skills. One of the places in which you spend those free periods with her is the greenhouse, reviewing the various herbs to have on hand in case anyone is injured. Spells are good, she’s advised you, but it doesn’t hurt to have herbs on hand as well to aid the healing process.

“I’ll head out too then,” Claude replies, voice extra quiet so as not to be reprimanded by the monk again. “All this fun and no one to share it with? Not fun at all.”

You walk out of the library together with an agreement to meet up again tonight. The paper is due in a couple of days, and usually you don’t like to cut it so close, but Professor Hanneman had given it at an unideal time, caught up in multiple other assignments as you are. To add insult to injury, they had due dates close to each other, which only makes the mad scramble to finish everything even madder. The best you can do to cope is take solace in the fact your plight is not an exception. Your peers are experiencing much the same.

Your talks with Professor Manuela don’t end when she’s finished her small lesson for the day, reviewing the nuances of an anxiety-relieving herb kept at the greenhouse. Every so often there’s a short story about her days with the Mittelfrank Opera Company. You’ve heard her sing before, and you delight in imagining her up on the stage in Enbarr. How amazing it must have been, you muse. You don’t think you could perform in front of thousands of people like that, but maybe in your dreams you could, at the very least, pretend.

Though what tends to be brought up, more so than the opera company and show business, are the professor’s most recent flings. The first instance she had shared with you the failed connection with a man she met at the bar, you’d blanched, unsure if this was even allowed. Weren’t the personal affairs of faculty not meant to be shared with the students? Your mouth opened, prepared to ask if you were really the correct person to share this with, but she’d kept going, and she was so distraught, that you couldn’t bring yourself to stop her.

Better to let the feelings out than in, is how you’d justified it. You refrained from cutting her short and listened patiently. If anything, you suppose you’re glad she thought you someone worthy to share these frustrations with. Even if you couldn’t exactly do anything about it or have any advice to give.

“Love lost then found then lost again,” Professor Manuela laments. The sky is turning orange and dinner would be served soon. If you were closer to the dining hall, you’d be able to pick up the delicious smell of tonight’s dishes wafting out through the open double doors.

“Or what I thought was love. Turns out he was just like the rest of them.” She laughs dryly.

“I’m sorry, professor,” you do your best to console.

Professor Manuela sighs. “Me too, [Name].”

Her words echo in your mind during dinner, where you’re only pulled from your thoughts by your friends pulling you into their conversation. But as you return to your dorm and sit in silence, they come back, and there’s nothing to keep you away from them here. Love lost then found then lost again. You repeat it over and over, and you can’t shake the notion that it sounds so… dismal. It must be tiresome to go through disappoint like that again and again. You don’t know that you’d be able to go through it more than once. The heartbreak the first time might be too much. And besides, who’s to say you could find it again? Or would?

This gives you pause, halting your motions of sorting through your notes where you sit at your desk. If someone were to ask who you love, you can only think of one person, and the possibility of losing him is too much to bear. So much so that it’s frightened you from trying to share your feelings in the first place. Will you even dare to entertain the possibility of someone else out there, that you could feel this way about? At present, such is beyond you. Not when you think of peonies and they make you think of Claude. They might always make you think of him, and how could you stand to lose someone like that? So maybe you can carry on with the current state of things forever, never venturing past the point of friends. (Though perhaps it’s less about can and more about must.)

There’s a knock on the door but you don’t need to ask who it is. Claude is standing on the other side with a smile, texts he’d borrowed form the library and various papers tucked under his arm. “Ready to hit the books again?”

You open the door wider to allow him in before closing it behind him. “Not one bit.”

Claude chuckles and sets his study materials down on your bed. “Yeah, me neither. But I think we could finish tonight if we really go for it.”

You plop down in your chair to review your notes and continue from where you left off earlier. There’s the shifting of paper and flipping of pages to your left so you assume Claude is doing the same, but then the noises quiet down. It’s suspicious, but not enough for you to check on him. Before the quiet stretches on long enough to finally merit your concern, he speaks up.

“A new project?”

You turn to him, wondering what he could mean, but he’s not looking at you. Instead, he’s looking at the pot sitting on your window sill.

“Oh, uh, yeah…” you respond. “I asked Ludwig to send me peony seeds. There’s none here, and I missed them.” You hadn’t planted all of them, since you needed to make sure the pot was small enough for the sill, and you have the rest stored away, along with Ludwig’s accompanying letter, in the top drawer of your desk.

“They remind you of home.” It’s a statement, not a question.

But Claude’s hit the nail right on the head, and you nod. “Exactly.” There’s silence for a few moments as you stare at the pot and the small sprouts jutting from the soil, the beginnings of pink peonies, then quietly you continue. “Admittedly, I do get homesick sometimes…”

The smile Claude graces you with then is sympathetic. “I’m glad you have those flowers, if only to ease up on some of that longing.”

Your thoughts have trailed to your small garden at home with the gazebo and small table for two. At Claude’s words, your eyes flicker to meet his. And you imagine him sitting there with you, among the peonies, and you would have him immortalized in oil paints, his smile that which makes flowers blossom and which keeps your heart warm so that in the very depths of your being, where the soul finds rest, is perpetual spring.

“Yeah.” Your reply is curt, and you do your best to ignore the tightness in your chest. Longing, yes, he’d gotten that right. But was it merely for home? Or was it for him too? “It helps well enough.”

The air had quickly felt as if it was closing in on you. To break past its uncomfortable hold, you change the subject, taking in a steady breath and picking up what you’ve written of your essay so far. “Well, let’s get started then! Maybe we can finish before midnight if we’re quick about it.”

Claude laughs and looks at the clock. “With how fast I’d have to write to make that deadline, my hand might catch fire!”

———

Somehow, you make it. You all do: Golden Deer, Blue Lion, Black Eagle, the victory of each student no matter the house is one and the same. The point in the school year where exams and homework assignments are crammed in around the same three weeks is finally behind you. The atmosphere of the school in those weeks had been stressful, and had many late—sometimes even sleepless—nights packed with studying. On the Friday of the third week, at the end of the school day, a collective sigh of relief sweeps through the hallways like a welcomed breeze on a hot day.

Hilda’s making plans to go into town to celebrate, and she’s adamant you go with her.

“Come on, [Name], I don’t want to go by myself!” She’s practically hanging off your arm.

“I dunno, Hilda, I’m kind of tired.” You shrug, but the arm she’s hugging doesn’t move much due to her hold. “Isn’t there someone else who could go?”

“But I want you there with me! It isn’t the same if it’s somebody else.”

You and Hilda get along well, and despite how long it’s been since you met, it still strikes the others as a surprise as much as it does you. While Hilda is outgoing and energetic, you’re generally calmer and more subdued. You’re happy to stay in, and as is the case today, to go back to your room and relax as a way to celebrate the passing of the stressful weeks composed of midterm tests and assignments. But you guess your opposing tendencies can be good for each other. You help rein in some of that energy, the gentle reminder for her to take a breather every now and then; and she encourages you to go out and take advantage of the sunshine, to go around exploring. And since last time you made plans, the two of you just stayed in your room chatting and gossiping…

“All right,” you concede, and halfway through it’s nearly drowned out by her squeal of elation. “But can we at least get changed out of our uniforms first?”

“Of course! I need to find something cute to wear. You too, okay?”

You laugh at her enthusiasm as you nod your assent. The request shouldn’t be difficult to fulfill, since she had assisted in redoing your wardrobe, which meant a majority of it was now Hilda-approved by default.

Once at the dormitory, you part when you reach Hilda’s room, which is closer to the entrance of the building. You’re still several doors down, and you spot a familiar figure coming towards you.

“I feel like I can breathe again!” Claude declares, setting a hand over his heart to complement his exclamation.

“I’ll be catching up on a lot of sleep this weekend,” you state. That would have begun right this instant, but, well, Hilda happened. “Though I’m sure I’m not the only one with that plan.”

Claude chuckles. “Far from it. But how about right now? You getting up to anything?”

“Hilda and I are heading into town. So shopping, I guess, is what I’ll be getting up to. What about you?”

“I have some books to return to the library, but after that, the rest of my day is free. I think catching up on sleep is gonna start a little early for me, and, to be honest, I feel like I’m more excited than I should be.”

You grin lopsidedly in amusement. “Hey, it’s sleep well deserved, right?”

You bid your goodbyes, Claude continuing down the hall and you retreating into your room. Rifling through your dresser, you opt for a white dress. The days have been growing warmer and the sun is pleasant to feel on your skin in the afternoons. You stand before the mirror and braid your hair to keep it out of your face, for there’s a small breeze today. When you’re finished, you momentarily remain where you are, studying your reflection and nodding in satisfaction.

Then your attention shifts to the left, in the direction of the window. You walk over and flip the latch so you can slide it up. Immediately cool air floats in, and you smile as you glance down at the pot on the sill. The peonies are slightly bigger now; leaves are forming, though it would be a while yet until the flowers bloomed.

While in town, you settle for following Hilda’s lead. She pulls you into basically every boutique along every street you walk on, the wares on display in the window piquing her interest enough to look in detail at the selection inside. So far, she’s bought two blouses and a pair of shoes, and she says she’s now on the lookout for new earrings, but she still gets sidetracked by all the boutiques, whether they carry jewelry or not.

You’re happy to browse but haven’t felt particularly compelled to purchase anything. Hilda picks out clothes and holds them up, aligning them with your figure as she imagines what you’d look like in them. This is cute! she’d say. You should get it! But you chuckle and respond simply with a Maybe because with the number of suggestions she has given, if you had indeed bought every single one, you’d have enough to fill half your closet. While you’re open to the idea of expanding your wardrobe, you’re inclined to be picky else you shop till you quite literally drop. Hilda might be okay with that, but you… perhaps not so much.

By late afternoon, your stomachs are grumbling and you’re searching for snacks. Eating a big meal now made no sense because dinner would be served by the time you returned to the monastery. Hilda spots a cafe at the end of the street: a perfect place for tea and pastries, which would be enough to keep you sated for the walk back.

“Going shopping is so much more enjoyable without the thought of homework in the back of my mind!” Hilda remarks. Following midterms, the professors wouldn’t be handing out any new assignments until Monday, which meant as far as anyone else in the academy is concerned, this weekend is as free as free can be.

“I feel kind of strange knowing there’s nothing to work on,” you state. “But I’m not complaining.”

The two of you are approaching a flower display set up in front of a shop, and you slow down to glance at the pots and bouquets. Hilda slows her pace to match yours, and she grins. “Ah, finally it isn’t just me who’s wanting to pull you into shops.”

You chuckle but don’t turn your attention away from the colorful arrangements. It’s only when you look through the opened door do you turn around to look at her. “I know we were going to get food, but…”

Hilda waves a hand. “Go for it. But I’ll just stay out here, since, well…” She holds up the armful of clothes and accessories she has. “I’d hate to accidentally knock anything over.”

You tell her it’ll only be a few minutes, then step inside the flower shop. There’s a skylight built in to the ceiling, the last few hours of sunlight today flooding in past the glass. Your boots thump quietly along the wooden floors, though occasionally you step over a squeaky board. It is the series of quiet squeaks that captures the attention of the florist, an older woman whose back had been turned to you until now.

Her smile is polite, and when she asks if there’s a specific flower you’re looking for, you contemplate for a moment whether you should tell her or just proceed to browse in search of it yourself. After all, you don’t mind combing through the aisles, if only to take in the pretty selection. But since she offered her assistance, you figure you might as well. Before you can change your mind, you say Yeah, actually and ask if there are any peonies.

She shakes her head regretfully and apologizes. “I’m afraid I’ve sold out of peonies.”

You’re disappointed but smile anyway, appreciative of her help. “Oh, well… maybe next time.”

You can’t say you’re surprised there are no more available. Peonies have been especially popular recently, with the coming spring. Since the ones you’re growing are still young, there are no blooms to be witnessed currently, and you would have liked to buy some to enjoy. It seems as though you were too slow to get a bouquet on today’s visit, but you could hardly be blamed, given you were basically cooped up in your room during free periods and the weekends this past moon to study.

You envision the bouquet in a glass vase, sitting next to the pot of young peonies on the window sill. Then invariably your thoughts shift and you envision handing them instead to Claude, a sudden shyness overcoming you being despite the fact you have been good friends for a long while, but with the implication of your actions, you can’t help it. And you’d like to hide your face behind the pink bunches, too embarrassed to meet his gaze, and your cheeks would burn, jut like they do now.

If you had been able to buy the bouquet, which would it have been? Would you have kept it to yourself, or would you have finally done it, admitted to Claude how much he means to you, a sentiment beyond mere friends? You’re still hesitant that the feelings could be mutual, and are adamant in telling yourself that to risk it would be far from a good idea. So you surmise that if there had, in fact, been peonies available, then that would’ve meant something, a strong enough sign from the universe of what you should do. The flowers in your hands would be the push you needed because Ludwig’s words play in your head again and peonies are pretty sitting in front of a window but they’d look even better in the hands of the one you love most.

You huff out a heavy sigh. And perhaps the opposite is a sign too. At best, a sign to wait; at worst, a sign that it isn’t meant to be. And the latter hurts to consider. Even for all your aversion to risking your friendship with Claude, a tiny part of you holds onto the hope that so long as you don’t acknowledge your feelings, so long as you keep them a secret, there remains the possibility for him to love you back. Those what-if’s have kept you satisfied up until now, but would they always?

Maybe the lack of peonies today are the universe telling you that it’s your choice to make. To reason that your profession of love to Claude depended on whether there were peonies in the shop today, was to discount the magnitude of your feelings. If they’re as strong as you believe them to be (and you believe them to be very strong), they will be that final nudge. The universe removes her hands from this one.

Hilda frowns when you emerge from the store empty handed. “No flowers?”

“Nothing caught my eye,” you explain, not going into anymore detail than that. Your stomach grumbles again, a well-timed reminder of your original goal, and the perfect excuse to change the subject. “Now come on, let’s get food!”

Maybe on the day the peonies in your room finally bloom, you’ll have the courage to confess.

———

When you’re back at the monastery and in the dining hall for dinner, you don’t see Claude anywhere. It’s an observation you make but doesn’t warrant your concern nor suspicion. You hadn’t arrived right when the cooks began serving the food, and by now other students and faculty are finished or are almost finished with their meals, and have left to continue with the rest of their evening. The table you’re sitting at with your fellow Golden Deer steadily empties until it’s just you and Raphael. He tells you he spent his afternoon training, and when you commend his dedication, he gives you a toothy grin and playfully flexes one of his arms.

“Have to keep my muscles big and strong! That’s why I gotta eat so much too, like right now!”

Even he’s lost track of how many times he’s gone back to get more food. Seconds, thirds, fourths… If no one else is eating it, then I will! You can’t help but laugh. His passion for food (more so to eat than to make) is unparalleled, and it leaves little to go to waste. The dining hall is growing quieter as people depart, and there’s still some food left being attended to by the cook, which you know Raphael will be going back for. With slight amusement you wonder if they make extra just for him.

Eventually you too take your leave, wishing Raphael a good night as you stand. The breeze is cool and you shiver, for you don’t have a jacket. You’d come straight to the dining hall when you got back. You hasten your walk to the dormitory, and with every step closer, the thought of sleep begins to excite you. It technically isn’t very late yet, but the stress of the last few weeks have caught up to you, and you’re ready to plop into bed and sleep for days. Besides, there’s sure to be other students who have already fallen asleep, like Claude, according to what he’d mentioned this afternoon, so you’re no outlier.

Or, it seems, not like Claude, because you see him in the hallway.

Your brow raises in confusion and you don’t have to say anything for him to know why you’re looking at him so surprised. He laughs and falls in step with you as you continue on to your room.

“I took a nap earlier and was a little more energized,” he begins, “so I’ve been chatting, hanging out, getting things done.” He shrugs matter-of-factly.

“What things need getting done?” you inquire curiously. “Not anything class-related, that’s for sure.”

“No, nothing about our classes.”

He doesn’t expand more than that, and you look up at him, expecting him to speak again, but he keeps quiet. You’ve arrived at your room now, and your hand curls around the doorknob. You take a second to open the door, opening it wide as a signal for Claude to come in if he wants.

“Then what’s—” Your question is cut short once you step into the room. In shocked silence, you observe the scene before you.

Bunches of peonies adorn every available surface: on your desk, atop your dresser, scattered over your bed and even covering the uniform you’d folded and left on top of it when you changed after class. The window sill where you keep your own pot of peonies is almost hidden beneath how many of the pink flower have been placed there. More are tucked among the books and knick knacks you have on the high shelves mounted on the wall. If you had any words, they’ve left upon the breath you let out, a sigh of disbelief and wonder. It’s beautiful.

You twist around, and the soft smile on Claude’s face from where he stands by the door is an instant giveaway. You want to ask him what this is about, but you can’t find it in you to speak. Thankfully, he understands fine, and answers without needing to be questioned aloud.

“Since you couldn’t go home, being at the academy to study and all, I figured I could bring home to you.”

Your lips lift at the corners in a grateful smile, though it’s shaky because you might cry. The thoughtfulness makes your chest squeeze painfully, that Claude would do this for you. You hadn’t paid any special mind to your comment about peonies and your attachment to them, but Claude had. It had stuck with him, and not only that, it had spurred him into action. Your room is filled to the brim with peonies and you’re certain you’ll see them behind closed eyelids as you sleep.

“Thank you, Claude.” You hope he can detect your gratitude, the heartfelt sincerity. You mean it with your entire being because never in a million years did you think anyone would go to such lengths for you. His smiles grows then, and you know that he had picked up on it. “But how—”

“—did I get all these flowers?” he completes the query for you. “Yeah, about that, I asked around from the merchants if anyone was bringing in shipments of peonies, and when I found someone, I bought the whole supply.” He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

That must be why the florist from this afternoon had no peonies available. You’re familiar with Claude’s talents, and have been privy to his fair share of schemes, but evidently, he’s so good that he’d managed this one right under your nose. Suddenly you want to ask why. Why had he done this? Multiple crates of peonies couldn’t be cheap, and though money is no issue for a noble like Claude, it’s still a lot to spend on one person. Did he truly value your friendship that much, that he hardly blinked at the prospect of doing something like this?

As if he could hear your thoughts, he speaks up again. “I did this to help you feel less homesick, but… there was more to it too.”

You tilt your head but keep quiet so he can continue.

“I like being the reason for your smiles,” he admits. “I want you to be happy. And when the opportunity to do this”—he motions to the room and the peonies—“fell into my lap, and I knew it’d make you smile, I couldn’t pass it by. I didn’t think twice. I mean… how could I?”

It’s silent for several moments as you process what he has said, and the implication behind his words. He did this because it made you happy. He did this because he does value your friendship but what’s more, he values you. What he shared mirrors your own sentiments, gives voice to the warmth you feel whenever you see him smile and how that’s all you want to dream of and when he smiles because of you, you always feel like the two of you could be something more.

By now it is impossible to deny that Claude is baring his heart to you in a way you never had the courage to. And he watches you the way you imagined you’d watch him, waiting nervously, with bated breath for the response, clinging to the hope that the yearning and the pining and the love, that it’s all mutual.

You swallow the lump in your throat, and your voice is barely above a whisper because if you were to speak any louder, your voice might crack. “So what are you saying?” This feels as if it’s not real, is just in your head, and you’re too nervous to come to any conclusions on your own lest you somehow take everything completely the wrong way. Even now, you’re second guessing yourself, wondering if you can finally acknowledge and confess your own feelings. But you have to know for sure.

“What I’m saying is…” Claude takes the few strides to close the distance between you, and when he’s standing before you, he carefully lifts a hand to rest on your face. He visibly relaxes when you don’t shy away from his touch. “You mean the world to me. You make me feel like I can move mountains, and I never want to let you go.”

You’re overcome with happiness at his words—he feels the same!—and you can’t contain your smile. His eyes light up when he sees it. “There it is.”

The remark only serves you to make you smile wider as you laugh shyly. The skin of his palm is warm against the coolness of your cheek, and you lean into his hand. You notice his gaze drop from your own, flickering to your lips, and then he’s closing what small distance remains, and his lips are soft, so soft, and you could stay here forever. This isn’t quite your garden of peonies and the gazebo with a table for two, but whether you were at the monastery or back home, whether you were in a gazebo or in your dorm room, you’re still surrounded by peonies, and most importantly, Claude is with you. That’s all that matters.

Your thoughts drift to the letter in the top drawer of your desk, and you only hold him tighter.