#the thing is it's worse to pretend to be saying something without actually saying anything or presenting something valuable

[hrizantemy]

Nesta stood in the kitchen of the House of Wind, her fingers curled around the edge of the wooden counter, the warmth of the hearth doing nothing to touch the cold sinking into her bones. Across from her, Elain stood stiff, her hands clasped together as if holding herself in place, as if forcing herself not to tremble.

They stared at each other.

Elain’s voice had been quiet when she first spoke, but it had not been soft. The words had been honed, sharp, and they cut Nesta clean through.

“You pushed us away. Pushed everyone away. And then one day, you just… came back. And you didn’t need us anymore.”

Nesta didn’t say anything.

Elain’s throat bobbed as she swallowed, as she let out a breath too heavy for her slight frame.

“You healed without us. It was easy for you. So why—” Elain’s voice cracked, but she forced herself to keep going, her brown eyes burning with something raw, something that had been simmering in her for so long Nesta had never even noticed. “Why couldn’t you do it with us?”

Nesta’s fingers tightened on the counter, the wood biting into her skin.

She could have said a thousand things. That it hadn’t been easy. That she had burned and broken and clawed her way back from the darkness with bloodied hands. That she had not healed so much as survived.

But none of that would matter, not to Elain.

Because Elain had not been looking for an explanation.

She had been looking for an answer.

Then the fire started in her chest, blazing hot and all-consuming. It roared through her veins, searing through every tender, fragile thing that had been built inside her over these past months. Nesta wanted to rage. She wanted to burn.

How dare Elain say that?

How dare she stand there, in this too-warm kitchen that had never felt so unbearably cold, and say those things as if Nesta had chosen to carve herself apart? As if she had wanted to drown alone?

A thousand cruel words clawed their way up Nesta’s throat, sharp as glass, aching to be thrown. She could have torn Elain apart, piece by delicate piece. She could have reminded her that she had been the one to stand idle as Nesta fell apart, that she had done nothing while their world collapsed. That she had been too soft, too sweet, too wrapped up in her own grief to fight for anything.

Nesta could have said it. She wanted to say it.

But she didn’t.

Because beneath Elain’s sharp words, beneath the rare anger in those doe-brown eyes, was something else.

Hurt.

Nesta exhaled sharply, fists clenched so tight her nails bit into her palms.

Elain had never known how to be angry. Not like Nesta. Not like Feyre. But now, standing there, her voice shaking, her hands trembling—Elain was furious in the only way she knew how.

And for once, Nesta did not fight back.

She swallowed down the fire, let it sear her from the inside, let it settle into something bitter and burning. Because Elain had spoken with resentment, yes. But beneath it, Nesta realized, was something worse.

A plea.

And Nesta let out a sharp, bitter laugh, though there was nothing funny about any of this. She could still taste the fire on her tongue, still feel the venomous words she wanted to spit out, but she swallowed them down. Instead, her voice came out like steel wrapped in smoke—steady, but edged with something dangerous.

“How?” she demanded, the word snapping through the cold kitchen. “How was I supposed to heal with you? With any of you? You didn’t know how. None of you knew how.”

Elain flinched, but Nesta didn’t stop.

“You wanted me to be better, but none of you actually knew what that meant. You just wanted me to stop being a problem. Stop making things ugly and difficult. You wanted me to sit in that damn house, wasting away, pretending everything was fine just because it made you feel better.”

Her breath was ragged, her heart pounding like war drums in her chest.

Elain shook her head, her arms wrapping around herself like she was holding something in. “That’s not fair,” she whispered, but Nesta just laughed again, harsher this time.

“It’s the truth.”

Elain’s eyes were shining now, but Nesta refused to feel guilty for it. Not when her sister had thrown the first stone.

“We had a plan,” Elain finally said, her voice wavering, but there was an edge to it now. A quiet sort of desperation, like she was trying to make Nesta understand. “Rhysand and Feyre… they had a plan. They were going to help you, Nesta.”

Nesta went still.

Her rage flickered, turned to something colder, something more dangerous.

“A plan,” she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper.

Elain nodded quickly, her hands tightening where they gripped her arms. “They just—” She hesitated, her mouth pressing into a thin line before she finally forced out, “They didn’t know how to help. But they were trying.”

Nesta stared at her sister.

And then she let out a breath, slow and sharp, like the edge of a blade.

“Trying.”

A bitter smile curled at her lips, but there was no humor in it.

Nesta let the silence stretch between them, let it grow thick and heavy, suffocating.

Then, slowly, she tilted her head and said, “What was it, then?”

Elain blinked. “What?”

Nesta took a step forward, voice quiet but sharp as a blade. “This plan you keep talking about. What was it? What was your version of trying?”

Elain opened her mouth, but no words came out. She swallowed, glancing away for a moment before she forced herself to meet Nesta’s gaze again.

“You… you could have come here,” she said finally, voice wavering. “You could have trained with Cassian, worked in the library with the priestesses—”

Nesta let out a breath of disbelief, shaking her head with a laugh that had no real amusement in it.

“That was your plan?” she asked, her voice like ice. “That was how you were going to help me? Just send me away, let someone else deal with me?”

Elain flinched, and for the first time, guilt flashed across her face. But she squared her shoulders, lifting her chin in that quiet, stubborn way of hers. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Then what was it like?” Nesta demanded.

Elain didn’t answer.

Because they both knew.

Nesta let out a sharp breath, shaking her head as the pieces fell into place, as the truth settled over her like a suffocating weight.

“You were going to lock me in a tower,” she said, voice flat. “Trap me up here with no way out and call it helping.”

Elain’s eyes went wide, her lips parting as she rushed to shake her head. “That’s not true! You—you could have gone down the stairs, Nesta. You could have left anytime you wanted.”

Nesta laughed, low and bitter. “Is that what you tell yourself? That I could have just walked down those ten thousand fucking steps and everything would’ve been fine?” She took a step closer, her voice cutting through the cold air. “You never intended for me to go down those stairs. None of you did. You would have sent me up here because you wanted me gone. You wanted to dump me with Cassian—the one person I told you, over and over, that I didn’t want to be around—and just hope for the best.”

Elain flinched, but Nesta didn’t stop. “That was your great plan. Your version of helping. Throw me in a cage, leave me with someone I didn’t want to see, and if I didn’t fix myself—if I didn’t magically become someone more palatable for you all—then what?”

Elain swallowed hard, her fingers trembling where they gripped her arms. But she had nothing to say to that.

Because Nesta was right.

Nesta leaned forward, her gaze sharp and cold as she pinned Elain with a look.

“So tell me, Elain,” she said, her voice dropping to a dangerous whisper, “What would’ve happened if I didn’t fix myself? If I didn’t magically heal in the way you all thought I should? What was the real plan?”

To her surprise, Elain didn’t flinch. Instead, her chin lifted, her gaze firm and resolute, as if she truly believed in what she was about to say. “Then you would have gone back to the human lands.”

Nesta’s heart stuttered for a moment, and she blinked. “What?”

Elain’s voice didn’t waver. “That was the ultimatum. Fix yourself, or go back. Back to the human lands. To that place where you didn’t have to face any of us.”

The words hit Nesta like a slap, and she scoffed. “Really?” she sneered. “Fix myself, or be sent back to be hunted like a beast for sport?”

Elain’s eyes hardened, but there was no anger in them, just a quiet certainty.

Nesta stared at her, her hands curling into fists at her sides. She had never been so disgusted in her life.

Nesta stood there, frozen for a moment, as the weight of Elain’s words settled around her. The calmness of the room, the steady crackling of the fire in the hearth—it should have been comforting. But all she could feel now was the raw burn of it, the familiar sting of flames licking at her skin, crawling through her veins, trying to claw their way out.

Her heart hammered in her chest, and for a moment, the world felt unbearably small, suffocating. The flames were rising again—raging inside her, hot and furious, and the power that she had once resented, that she had fought with every fiber of her being, was surging within her now. The same fury, the same destruction.

It was always there.

The flames had always been there, buried deep inside her, waiting. Always ready to consume. Always ready to burn the world down.

But not now.

Nesta closed her eyes, her breath coming in sharp, shaky inhales. She could feel it—the heat, the strength—and for the first time, she didn’t want to give in. She didn’t want to let it take over.

With every ounce of willpower she had left, she shoved it down, pushed it back into herself, into the deep, empty spaces where it had always hidden. She crammed it all into those holes, locking it in, forcing it back behind the walls she had spent so long building.

Not this time, she told herself. Not again.

Her chest ached with the weight of it—the suffocating pressure of holding it all back, of keeping those flames from consuming everything around her. She felt the burn in her throat, the taste of fire on her tongue, but she clenched her teeth and forced it down. She wouldn’t let it out. Not here. Not now.

Not with Elain watching.

Nesta exhaled sharply, the effort of holding everything in making her chest feel tight, suffocating. She blinked, looking at Elain, and it should have felt like betrayal. Her sister—her sweet sister—had agreed to this. Had backed this plan, this cold, heartless ultimatum. It should have stung, should have burned like the flames that were still coiling through her veins. But instead, all she felt was… numbness.

The fire was still there, just beneath the surface, but now it was distant. Fading into the background of her thoughts, leaving nothing but the weight of her sister’s silence.

Nesta shook her head slowly.

“You, of all people,” she murmured, her voice hoarse from holding back everything she wanted to say. “You agreed to this?”

Elain’s expression faltered for just a moment, before she squared her shoulders, trying to hold onto the same resolve she had moments before. But Nesta saw it—saw the hesitation there, the guilt lurking behind her eyes.

“Did you think I would just—fix myself? That I’d become this… this thing you wanted me to be?”

Elain’s lips trembled, but she didn’t answer.

As Nesta stared at Elain, something shifted in her sister’s eyes. It wasn’t guilt about the plan—no, Elain still believed in it, still thought it had been the right thing to do. But there was something else now, something deeper, something more raw. Regret. It flashed in her gaze, quick and sharp, but it wasn’t for what Nesta had expected.

It wasn’t for the plan. It wasn’t for the cold decision to send her away, to lock her in a tower with no escape.

It was for the words she had said. The truths she had revealed.

And as that realization settled on Nesta, she felt a flicker of the same regret within herself. What had it been for? What was the point of this? Of tearing at each other, exposing these old, festering wounds? Would it even make a difference?

She closed her eyes for a moment, the ache in her chest growing.

It wasn’t the plan that hurt the most. It was the feeling of seeing Elain—her sister, her blood—stripped of the softness she had always worn like a shield. The way she looked now, so broken, so exposed, made something twist inside Nesta. It made her wonder if the cost of honesty—of telling her what she really thought—was worth what came next.

The silence between them was heavy, suffocating. And Nesta hated it. She hated the way Elain was looking at her, the way she could feel the shift, the regret both of them were carrying but had no idea how to express.

Finally, Nesta spoke, her voice quieter now.

“You shouldn’t have told me,” she said, the words tasting like ash in her mouth. “I shouldn’t have heard it.”

And with that, she turned away, unable to look at her sister anymore.

Nesta walked away without looking back, her steps slow but deliberate. The weight of the conversation still pressed on her chest, and she could feel the bitter taste of it lingering on her tongue. She had to escape. The suffocating silence between her and Elain was too much. She needed space, air—anything but that thick, stifling tension.

As she entered the common room, the atmosphere didn’t offer the reprieve she had hoped for. It was just as tense, just as loaded as the kitchen had been. The soft flicker of the fire in the hearth did little to ease the heaviness in the room. Feyre, sitting on one of the couches, glanced up at Nesta with a strained smile, but it was clear no one had spoken much since she’d left.

None of them had.

Feyre had likely tried to fill the silence with small talk—awkward, disjointed attempts at conversation that fell flat, like throwing pebbles into an empty well. Nesta could see the strain on her sister’s face. Feyre never liked this kind of tension.

But Nesta didn’t care. She didn’t care about their awkward attempts to bridge the gap between them.

Her eyes flicked to Taryn, sitting quietly on the far side of the room, her expression unreadable. For a moment, there was no need for words between them.

Nesta took a deep breath and said, “Let’s go.”

Taryn didn’t hesitate. She met Nesta’s gaze for a beat, then stood without a word, the silence between them stretching but not breaking.

There was no argument. There was no protest. Just a shared understanding.

As Nesta reached the door, she heard Feyre’s voice, clear and tight with concern. “Where are you going?”

She paused, not turning immediately. She could feel Feyre’s eyes on her, could hear the unspoken plea in her voice. “You’ve only just gotten here,” Feyre added, the words almost a whisper.

It was enough to make Nesta stop. Enough to make her look back, though the anger that flared in her chest made her want to walk out without a word.

She turned slowly, meeting her sister’s eyes. The weight of what had been said earlier—the anger, the resentments, the truths spilled out in the heat of the moment—pressed on her, and for a brief, sharp second, Nesta felt a bitter sting of betrayal.

But it wasn’t just anger she felt. There was something else, something darker and more sorrowful. Pity.

Because she could see it now. Feyre wasn’t trying to trap her, not really. She wasn’t trying to break her down. Feyre had seen the way Nesta had crumbled before, the way she had spiraled after the war. She had watched her drown in men and drink, in rage and loneliness, and it must have felt like the only way to save her was to lock her away, or to send her off to the farthest reaches where she wouldn’t have to watch it anymore.

She took a deep breath before speaking, her voice raw, trembling slightly with emotion.

“Elain told me about the plan,” she said, her gaze flicking to each of them, one by one. “About how you were going to help me heal. How you thought sending me away with Cassian and locking me in some damn tower would fix me.”

Her words hung in the air like a punch, and she could see the shock on their faces. Feyre’s eyes widened, guilt flickering across her features. But it was too late for apologies, too late for anything but the truth.

Cassian, to his credit, looked just as stunned. He opened his mouth to speak, but Nesta cut him off, her voice barely more than a whisper now.

“So, that was it? That was the great plan you thought would heal me? The great solution? You just thought you’d throw me at Cassian, leave me to figure it out, and everything would magically fall into place?”

Her eyes flicked over to Rhysand, who had remained silent until now. He didn’t look apologetic at all. Instead, his gaze was steady, unwavering, as he put a hand on Feyre’s shoulder in a way that seemed more like comfort than guilt.

And then he spoke, his tone calm but firm, answering for Feyre without hesitation.

“We thought it was the only way,” he said. “But it hadn’t come to that, Nesta.”

It hadn’t come to that.

The words cut through her, and for a moment, she didn’t know whether to scream or collapse under the weight of it all. The coldness, the distance, the feeling of being reduced to a problem to be solved instead of a person who needed help.

Feyre stumbled back a step, her hand instinctively reaching for Rhysand’s as if grounding herself in him could somehow steady her racing thoughts. Her voice wavered when she spoke, the weight of the situation pressing down on her shoulders.

“I… I thought it would help,” she said, the words coming out strained, as if she were trying to convince herself as much as Nesta. “You were spiraling, Nesta. I thought—”

Her voice caught, and for a moment, it felt like she was fighting something back. She cast a glance at Cassian, but her words faltered. She cleared her throat, almost too quickly, and turned her gaze to Taryn, who stood silent, watching the entire exchange.

Feyre’s lips parted again, but she stopped herself, a brief hesitation making her breath catch in her throat. She didn’t need to say it.

Nesta could feel the air shift between them. She could already guess what Feyre was about to say, the words that would break through the tension. But Feyre never spoke them. She looked at Taryn, and Nesta saw the subtle shift in her sister’s expression—the way her eyes lingered, how she held her breath for just a heartbeat too long.

Cassian was her… mate.

But Feyre didn’t say it. Instead, she swallowed, the words catching in her throat, unsaid. There was something in the way she looked at Taryn, something vulnerable, something Nesta had never seen before, but she knew what it meant.

She’d been so desperate to fix her, so desperate to save her from herself, but in the process, she’d nearly lost her sister. And the bond that connected them all had never seemed more fragile.

Before Nesta could respond to Feyre, the sharp, biting voice of Amren cut through the tension in the room like a blade.

“Girl, enough,” Amren snapped, her eyes narrowing as she looked at Nesta, unblinking. Her words weren’t soft, weren’t filled with pity—they were a direct hit, aimed straight for the heart of what Nesta had been avoiding. “You were drinking yourself into oblivion, sleeping with anyone who would have you, and pretending you didn’t need help.”

Her voice rang out, biting and clear, and Nesta felt the sting of truth in each syllable. There was no sugarcoating, no softening the harsh reality of what she had become. Amren didn’t flinch, didn’t even soften when she spoke.

“You needed help, Nesta,” Amren continued, her tone cold and direct. “You needed it. And you pushed it away. You pushed them away. You pushed us away.”

Amren’s gaze flicked over to Feyre and then back to Nesta, a touch of disdain in her eyes. “It’s easy to burn everything down and blame everyone else, but the truth is—you needed to face yourself, to face what you’ve done. It’s over now, but don’t pretend like it wasn’t you who kept yourself trapped in the past.”

Her words rang in the heavy silence, and Nesta flinched, the sharpness of them cutting deeper than she expected. There was no warmth in Amren’s reprimand, but there was no question either—Amren wasn’t wrong.

Nesta didn’t know how to respond, her mouth dry, her chest tightening under the weight of everything she’d been avoiding. She had never wanted to hear the truth in such brutal terms, but now that it was out, she couldn’t ignore it. She couldn’t escape it.

The fire inside her seemed to dim, and for the first time in a long while, she felt a sliver of what might be shame creeping in.

Amren didn’t pause, her gaze cold and piercing as she took another step toward Nesta, her words laced with contempt.

“You think you’ve suffered?” Amren sneered, her voice cutting through the room. “You think you’re the only one who’s been broken? The only one who’s been through hell? You have power, Nesta. But what have you done with it?”

Nesta stood frozen, her hands clenched at her sides, every word like a weight being thrown on her chest. She could feel the shame rising in her throat, but Amren wasn’t finished.

“You have power,” Amren continued, her voice harsh, “Yet you’ve done nothing with it. All this time, all this potential, and you’ve squandered it. You’ve locked yourself away, burned everything down around you, and for what? To hide from what you truly are?”

Her words struck like a whip, every sentence aimed to break her further. There was no kindness, no hint of understanding. Just cruelty, plain and simple.

“You haven’t made yourself useful to anyone. Not your sisters, not your people, not anyone.” Amren’s words were as unforgiving as ever. “You could be a force. You could do something, anything—anything—but you’ve chosen to wallow in self-pity instead.”

Nesta’s chest tightened, her breath coming short. She wanted to retort, to push back against the accusations, but a part of her knew Amren was right. Every word cut deep, sharper than anything she could’ve imagined. She had power. She had a gift—and yet, here she was, useless, hiding from it all.

“Is this what you wanted?” Amren’s voice was almost mocking now, as if it were all so obvious to her. “To waste your life like this? To be nothing but a shadow of what you could be? You’ve done nothing but take and take. You think you’re special? You think your suffering makes you exempt from responsibility?”

Nesta felt the heat rise in her chest, the flames within her flickering to life. But she didn’t give in. Instead, she stood, staring at the floor, trying to hold onto whatever shred of composure she had left.

But Amren’s words were relentless. They echoed in her mind like a drumbeat, a reminder of every failure she had ever hidden from.

The worst part—the absolute worst part—was that no one said anything. Not Feyre, who usually couldn’t stand the weight of silence like this. Not Elain, who had peeked her head out from the kitchen, her wide eyes searching the room, but still, she said nothing. They all just stood there, letting Amren tear into her, standing in the quiet of their own guilt, their own discomfort.

It was as if Nesta’s pain, her failure, was something they could all agree on but never speak about aloud—like the invisible thing that hovered between them all but never had a name.

And that was the truth that hit her like a punch to the gut. This was what they all thought of her. Every single one of them. They saw her as broken, as a problem that couldn’t be fixed, as a source of shame.

She felt it then, the weight of their collective judgment. It was suffocating. It pressed against her chest, wrapped around her throat like a vice, and she couldn’t breathe.

Feyre had always tried to be the protector, the one who fixed everything. But she had failed, and in that failure, Nesta had become something ugly to them all. Something that needed to be locked away, something to be handled at arm’s length.

Elain, sweet Elain, who had once shared her pain, now stood in the doorway and said nothing. Nesta could see the pity in her eyes, the distance between them that hadn’t been there before.

And Amren, cold as always, only saw a mess to be cleaned up, a task to be finished, and she didn’t care how she got there, as long as it was done.

There was nothing left but the bitter taste of betrayal—this time, from everyone she had ever trusted.

The silence was so loud, so suffocating, that Nesta thought she might crumble under its weight. It was as if the entire room was pressing down on her, suffocating her with the unspoken truths and judgments that had been building for so long. It felt like a dam had broken inside of her—everything she had held back, all the rage, the hurt, the confusion—flooding to the surface, threatening to drown her.

And then, just as she thought she might implode from the crushing pressure, someone spoke.

It was Taryn.

Taryn, who had been standing quietly beside her, eyes wide and still, like a ghost in the shadows, suddenly broke the silence with her soft voice.

Taryn cocked her head to the side, her eyes sharp as she looked around at the room of people who had let the silence drag on for so long. She let out a breath, the calmness in her tone holding a quiet but cutting weight.

“Wasn’t it Nesta who fought in the war?” Taryn’s words were slow, deliberate, as if she were dissecting the conversation piece by piece, each word aimed to challenge everything they had assumed about her. “Wasn’t it Nesta who helped kill the King of Hybern? Who was on the frontlines with your General, fighting beside him, bloodied and broken? Who helped take care of the wounded soldiers, running back and forth through the battlefield, something even their High Lady didn’t do?”

She paused, letting her words hang in the air, like an accusation they hadn’t expected.

Taryn’s eyes burned with a fierceness that made Nesta’s chest tighten. The tension in the room shifted, and Taryn didn’t hesitate to press further, her voice dripping with biting sarcasm as she cut into them with unflinching precision.

“What have any of you done?” Taryn’s words were like a slap, sharp and unforgiving. “If I remember correctly, your High Lady—” she let the words hang in the air like a challenge, “released two death gods and a monster, the latter of which still somehow managed to disappear, didn’t it?”

She didn’t wait for anyone to respond, her gaze moving over the room like a judge passing sentence.

“And let’s not forget,” Taryn continued, her tone colder now, as her eyes narrowed on Feyre, “your High Lady destroyed Spring. Destroyed it. Sending countless refugees fleeing—many of them even came here, to this city, because of the chaos she caused.”

Rhysand’s voice cut through the air, a low, commanding presence that instantly demanded attention. His gaze was cold, sharp as he met Taryn’s defiant stare.

“You will show respect to your High Lady,” Rhysand said, his tone clipped and controlled, the weight of authority in his words unmistakable. “You are a citizen of this court, and you will follow its laws and respect its leadership.”

His eyes flicked briefly toward Feyre, whose face had paled under the pressure of Taryn’s words, but Rhysand didn’t let the brief hesitation in his High Lady’s gaze sway him. His focus remained squarely on Taryn.

“I understand your frustration,” he went on, his voice now tinged with something darker, “but this—” he gestured to the tension in the room, the growing rift between them all, “is not the way to speak. You may not agree with every decision made, but respect is not optional. You will not undermine her in front of everyone.”

Nesta could feel the tension in the air, the invisible barrier between them as Rhysand’s words hung like a sword above the conversation.

Taryn didn’t flinch, though. She stood tall, unwavering, her gaze steady on Rhysand.

“I don’t need to undermine her, High Lord,” Taryn responded, her voice still laced with defiance. “You both have done that yourselves.”

The room seemed to freeze, the words sinking in, and even Rhysand’s expression shifted, just slightly, as he registered the weight of Taryn’s response. But he said nothing more. He knew better than to engage further. His silence only made the unspoken tension in the room more palpable.

For a moment, it felt as though everything was on the edge of breaking—like the cracks in their foundation were finally too big to ignore.

Taryn turned her gaze sharply toward Amren, her expression shifting into something darkly amused. She let her words hang in the air like a poison, sharp and pointed.

“You know,” Taryn said, her voice low and deliberate, “they whisper about you. The citizens, I mean. They call you the Angel of Death. How you destroyed the rest of Hybern’s armies, how you tore through the battlefield with ease. And now…”

Taryn’s lips curled into a slight smile, her eyes never leaving Amren’s face, watching for the reaction she knew would come. The tension in the room grew as Amren’s expression shifted into something dark, her eyes flashing with a snarl, teeth bared as her temper began to rise.

“Watch your tongue, girl,” Amren hissed, her voice a low, venomous growl, but Taryn didn’t flinch. She didn’t even look remotely intimidated.

“You want to talk about uselessness?” Taryn continued, her smile never faltering. “Look at what you’ve become.”

The room was silent, the only sound the shallow breaths of everyone standing there. No one dared to speak, watching the confrontation unfold. Amren’s eyes were narrowed, fury etched on her face, but Taryn’s words had landed, and there was no taking them back.

As Taryn’s words landed, sharp and unforgiving, Nesta’s instinct was to reach out, to stop her. To tell her to back off, to avoid making things worse. After all, Amren’s fury was a force to be reckoned with, and the room was already thick with tension. But as Nesta’s gaze flickered between the two women, she didn’t move. She didn’t speak.

Taryn—Taryn—was standing up for her, and in a way, it was more than Nesta had ever gotten from any of them. Every word from Taryn, though sharp, felt like a shield. She wasn’t just defending Nesta against Amren’s cruel accusations; she was standing up for everything Nesta had been forced to endure. Everything she had tried so desperately to bury.

For the first time in a long while, Nesta felt like someone saw her—really saw her. Not as a broken, useless thing to be fixed or a problem to be solved, but as a person who had a right to her pain, her struggle, her flaws.

And though the instinct to protect Taryn from Amren’s wrath whispered at the edge of her mind, Nesta knew—knew—that this wasn’t about stopping Taryn.

Taryn was speaking up for her when no one else had the courage. And that, in a twisted way, made it all worth it.

So, Nesta stood there, quiet, still. She let Taryn continue, even as Amren’s fury brewed like a storm about to break. She let the words settle over her, felt them, for the first time, lift something inside of her that had been heavy for too long.

Taryn’s voice was a lifeline, no matter how sharp the edges were. And for that, Nesta couldn’t bring herself to stop her.

Taryn’s gaze hardened as she took a step back, her voice cutting through the thick tension like a blade.

“For the hundreds of years you’ve all been alive,” she said, her eyes sweeping over the room with a sharpness that seemed to pierce each one of them, “everyone knows how you and your inner circle made your way through Velaris. Through the bars and the brothels. Drinking, fucking, living like there were no consequences for your actions.”

Her words hung in the air like a toxic fog, and Taryn’s eyes never wavered as she continued.

“And some of you still do,” she added, her tone dropping lower, heavier. She turned her head slightly, deliberately locking eyes with Morrigan, who had been standing quietly, watching the exchange, her expression unreadable.

The pointed look Taryn gave her wasn’t subtle. Morrigan stiffened, her jaw tightening, and though she didn’t say anything, the weight of the accusation was undeniable.

Taryn’s voice was no longer just sharp—it was loaded with years of bitterness, of watching, of knowing. She had seen it all—the reckless behavior, the ways the High Lord and his inner circle had lived, and the damage they’d caused. And now, it was being thrown in their faces, laid bare for them all to acknowledge.

There was no denying the truth of her words.

Taryn let the silence settle, let them feel the weight of her words before she tilted her head slightly, her expression unreadable.

“But when Nesta did it—” her voice was softer now, laced with something almost mocking, “when she drank, when she fucked, when she tried to drown herself in everything that you all have indulged in for centuries—suddenly, it was different.”

Her gaze swept over them again, daring them to refute her.

“That doesn’t sound right, does it?”

Her words were deceptively light, but the truth behind them was heavy. They all knew it.

Rhysand’s expression darkened, but he said nothing. Feyre’s lips parted as if she wanted to argue, but no words came out. Morrigan’s jaw was clenched tight, her golden eyes flashing with something unreadable.

Taryn gave a small, humorless smile.

“Funny how that works.”

Taryn let out a slow, measured sigh, as if she had finally grown tired of the conversation, of the weight of all these people who thought they had the right to judge. Then she turned to Nesta, her sharpness softening just a fraction.

“Elia will be waiting for us,” Taryn said, her tone casual, as if nothing had happened, as if she hadn’t just carved through them all with nothing but her words. “We should hurry.”

Nesta knew it was a lie. A flimsy, obvious lie. But it was a lie she agreed upon. A lifeline she was willing to take.

So she straightened her spine, lifted her chin, and turned back to face them all—Feyre, Rhysand, Cassian, Azriel, Amren, Elain, Morrigan—every single one of them who had sat in silence, who had judged, who had only spoken when it suited them.

Her voice was steady when she spoke.

“Is someone going to winnow us, or are we walking the ten thousand steps?”

The room was thick with unspoken words, with the weight of everything that had been said. Rhysand’s face was carefully blank, but his displeasure was obvious, his fingers still curled tightly around Feyre’s shoulder, as if willing her to stay silent.

But it was Feyre who answered.

“I’ll winnow you.”

Nesta could hear the guilt in her sister’s voice, the unsteadiness of it. Could see the way her hands tensed at her sides, the way she couldn’t quite meet Nesta’s gaze. And she knew that was the only reason Feyre had spoken first—because guilt had finally sunk its claws into her.

Nesta flicked her eyes to Rhysand, saw the way his jaw clenched, how his lips pressed into a thin, displeased line. He didn’t like it. He didn’t want Feyre to do it. But even he knew that stopping her now, after everything, would only make it worse.

Rhysand’s rage was barely contained, a storm just waiting to break. Nesta could see it in the way his violet eyes darkened, in the way his fingers twitched at his sides, like he was restraining himself from doing something rash. Like he might mist her and Taryn both if Feyre weren’t standing right there.

His power crackled in the air, unseen but felt, pressing against the room like a silent warning. He had always been careful with his control, always prided himself on his restraint—but now, now Nesta could see the cracks in it. Could see how close he was to snapping.

Taryn, to her credit, didn’t so much as flinch under his stare. If anything, she seemed amused by the fury radiating from him. She met his gaze head-on, her chin tilting ever so slightly, as if daring him to act on his rage.

Nesta wasn’t stupid. She knew Rhysand wouldn’t, couldn’t, harm them—not with Feyre standing between them. Not with the eyes of his court watching. But the thought had crossed his mind. She knew it had. And that knowledge sent something cold curling through her spine.

Nesta only smiled, slow and sharp, as if she had seen something she wasn’t supposed to.

“Whenever you’re ready,” she said, looking at Feyre but meaning it for Rhysand.

Feyre stepped forward, jaw tight, and reached for them. And just before the world vanished in shadow, Nesta caught one last glimpse of Rhysand—his hands clenched, his teeth bared ever so slightly.

And, for the first time in a long while, Nesta felt satisfied.

Tag list: @litnerdwrites @viajandopelomar

[bredforloyalty]

that was super interesting because i didn't like that but also i feel conflicted

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　TOO MUCH

chris sturniolo x reader

SUMMARY: Where Matt and Nick say some hurtful things to Chris during a fight, bringing his insecurities to life and causing him to turn to his anchor, Y/N.

WARNING: Insecurities, fighting, crying, anxiety attack.

REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

The noise in the living room had escalated from playful teasing in front of the camera to sharp, biting words. Chris stood behind the kitchen table, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he glared at Matt and Nick, who were both looking at him from the other side of the table with expressions caught between frustration and exasperation.

"Do you ever think before you act, Chris?" Matt's voice was, surprisingly, raised, an edge of impatience in his tone. "We can’t get through one day without you doing something childish and making a scene, or worse, making our videos look like shit because of it!"

Chris’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond immediately, his eyes darting between his brothers, trying to make sense of how things had gotten so out of hand.

"I wasn’t trying to do anything." He muttered finally, his voice barely above a whisper laced with hurt. "I was just... being myself."

"Yeah, exactly." Nick jumped in, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "And that’s the problem. You’re always yelling and doing the most, Chris. It’s just... exhausting, okay?"

Chris clenched his fists, jaw tight as he glared at Nick, feeling himself crumbling a bit because sure, he’s too much. Sure, he speaks too loud and had opinions about everything and wasn’t afraid to share them, even if they were about the silliest things. Sure, he feels cornered and childish and immature and annoying, and most of what they're saying is probably true, but hearing his own brothers say it out loud... it pains his heart.

"You know, that’s actually rich coming from you." He shot back, his voice carrying a frustration he couldn’t hold back, trying to disguise his pain with anger. "You’re always the first to say that people watch us because we’re different, because even though we look the same, we're still different. But all you ever do is complain that I’m not just like you or Matt!”

Nick’s expression shifted, taken aback by Chris’s words. But Nick wasn’t one to back down, his voice snapping back almost before Chris had finished speaking.

"That’s not what I’m saying at all!" He fired, eyes narrowing. "Is it so insane to want you to stop yelling and acting like a literal child in every video? We’re trying to be professional, Chris! People like us, yeah, but they won’t if you keep acting like-"

Chris dragged a hand over his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead, trying to shut out Nick’s words, trying to drown out the overwhelming feeling of being misunderstood.

"... and we can’t keep dealing with it, Chris. Grow the fuck up."

The youngest felt his chest tighten even more. His greatest insecurity - one that clawed at his chest every night when he couldn’t sleep, when the silence around him became deafening - was now on full display, brutally brought to life by the people he trusted most.

The internet was relentless in labeling him as "the weird one", the "annoying triplet", just because he was loud and talked too much, just because he was unapologetically himself. He’d laugh it off, of course, joke about it even because it was easier to pretend it didn’t bother him. But deep down, those words haunted him, scraping at the edges of his self-worth, making him wonder if maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t enough.

And now, hearing Matt and Nick throw those same words at him... he felt hollow. Like all the air had been knocked from his lungs. They knew. They knew how those comments got to him, how hard he tried to ignore it, to rise above the criticism.

"Fine." He said bitterly, hating how his voice trembled slightly as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "I’ll get out of your way, then."

He pushed his weight off of the table, preparing himself to get out of there, but as Chris stormed away, Nick's frustration boiled over, and he turned to Matt, his voice sharp and incredulous.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He hissed, his eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and disbelief.

But Chris kept walking, his shoulders tense as he made his way to the stairs, refusing to let himself look back. His brothers’ voices felt like static at this point, blending into the background as he forced himself to keep going.

Behind him, Matt muttered under his breath, an edge of impatience creeping in.

"Why is he being so dramatic?" He called, exasperation evident in his tone. "Chris, just come back, man! Let’s finish this video."

But Chris didn’t even slow down. Each word felt like salt in a wound he was struggling to ignore, a constant reminder that he wasn’t on the same level as them, that they were all looking at him like he was the problem.

Maybe he was.

As he went down the stairs, his mind was racing, every emotion simmering just below the surface.

His hands trembled slightly as he reached his bedroom door, a mix of anger, shame, and sadness twisting in his chest, his breath hitching as he struggled to keep it together. He wanted to scream, to push all the hurt away.

Finally, he opened the door and stepped inside.

Y/N - curled up on his bed with notebooks spread around her and laptop balanced on her knees - looked up instantly, a huge smile spreading across her face as she noticed him, her expression so genuinely happy to see him that it made his heart ache even more.

"Hi, honey! How was filming?" She greeted brightly, unaware of the turmoil written across his face.

But her smile faltered quickly as she took in his red-rimmed eyes, the way his face seemed almost haunted, his body tense and trembling as he stood frozen in the doorway. She blinked, worry flashing across her features.

"Chris? Hey, what happened?" The girl whispered, and her words were like a lifeline, breaking the dam he’d tried so hard to keep in place.

She was quick in put her work together, placing her notebooks and laptop gently onto the floor beside her, leaving it all opened for her to come back to it later, her arms instinctively opening up to him.

"Come here, baby."

Without another thought, Chris crossed the room and collapsed into her open arms, sinking onto the bed as if the weight of the world had become too much for him to bear alone.

His arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his face burrowing into her shoulder as if he could somehow hide from everything that had been clawing at him. His legs slid between her thighs, his body curling into hers, every part of him drawn in close, seeking refuge in the only place that felt safe.

Y/N didn’t say anything at first. She could feel the way his shoulders shook, the silent sobs racking through him as he tried to hold back, his breath catching painfully against her neck. She held him even tighter, her hands slipping up to cradle the back of his head, her fingers threading gently through his fluff hair as she pressed soft, reassuring kisses to his forehead, his temple, anywhere she could reach.

"Shh... It’s okay, sweetheart." She murmured softly, pressing her lips to his line of hair. "I'm here. You're safe. Just breathe, Chris. Just breathe, baby."

But Chris felt anything but safe in his own skin. Shame and hurt twisted inside him, tightening like a vice around his chest. He tried to fold himself even smaller, curling tighter into her, trying to somehow look smaller for a 5'8 grown man, pressing his body as close to hers as he could.

He wanted to disappear, to melt into her embrace, and let the world live freely without his presence. The words Matt and Nick had thrown at him - the very same words he read online, the labels he was used to brushing off - felt so true, so much a part of him that he couldn’t deny them.

Childish. Annoying. Immature.

He hated himself in that moment, hated how much he cared, hated how the words dug under his skin, making him feel unworthy, unloved.

"Am I... am I really that annoying?" He whispered, his voice cracking and sounding more horse than it should. "Do you... Do you think I’m too much, too?"

Y/N’s heart twisted painfully as she heard his words, the broken way he spoke them. She frowned deeply, pulling back just enough to look down at him, her hand cupping his wet cheek as she met his gaze, her thumb brushing away a stray tear that had slipped down his face.

"Oh, sweetheart..." She shook her head gently, her voice laced with disbelief and fierce love. "No. No, Chris, of course not. You’re not annoying. You’re not too much. You’re everything I could ever want. You’re perfect exactly the way you are."

He clenched his fists, gripping onto Y/N’s hoodie - or better, his own blue hoodie -, his knuckles white with the force of it as he tried to agree with her, but her words didn’t seem to reach him. His brow furrowed, his eyes filling with fresh tears as he choked out.

"They said... They said I’m always yelling, being loud, making a scene... like I’m always... embarrassing them." His voice caught on the last words, his breath hitching as he fought to keep from breaking down completely.

Y/N held him tighter, her hand moving to the bottom of his white shirt, traveling inside of it only to rub soothing circles along his naked back as she spoke in a soft, steady tone, hoping her words would anchor him.

"Chris, they love you. They’re just... they don’t understand how much their words hurt sometimes. But that doesn’t mean you’re a burden or that you’re too much. You bring so much joy and energy to everything. That’s part of who you are, and it’s one of the things I love most about you."

He shook his head slightly, his breathing coming faster as anxiety started to build again, overtaking him.

"I... I just don’t get it. One minute, they’re saying people watch us because we’re different... and then they tell me I should be more like them. I don’t... I don’t know how to be that. I tried so hard to be like them, you have to believe me, but I don’t know how to change who I am-"

Y/N felt the depth of his frustration in the desperate way that he begged, wanting - no, needing - her to believe him. She cupped his face gently, urging him to look at her.

"You don’t have to change, Chris. Not for anyone. You’re enough just as you are, baby. And you’re not a burden. Not to me, not to anyone who really sees you and loves you for who you are."

He nodded slowly, finally trying to take a deep breath, only to feel like his nose was closed and his throat was being chocked by invisible hands. He closed his eyes forcefully, biting his bottom lip in concentration as he tried to breathe in a gulp of air that never seemed to be enough. Chris could feel his heart tightening, his chest struggling in the quick movements of going up and down too many times in a second.

"Can't- I... Please-" He tried, tightening his hands around her hoodie, panicking with the anxiety attack that seemed to come so suddenly.

"Hey, hey, Chris. Sweetheart, you’re okay." Y/N whispered softly, her voice a calming presence against the storm inside him. She shifted slightly, one hand now resting on his chest with a firm press as she guided him through deep breaths, her own voice slow and steady. "Come on, just breathe with me, okay? In... and out... Nice and slow. I’m right here with you."

Following her lead, Chris pressed his eyes tighter in a way that made him see stars behind his eyelids, focusing on the rhythm of her voice, the rise and fall of her own breathing against his fists. With each exhale, he felt a bit of the tension release, his chest loosening as he tried to match her calming breaths.

Gradually, his racing heart began to slow, the adrenaline draining from his body, leaving him feeling heavy, exhausted.

Y/N smiled softly, brushing her fingers through his hair as she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"There you go. That’s it... Well done, my strong boy. Now, just relax. I’ve got you."

As his breathing evened out, Chris opened his eyes slowly, his blurred gaze meeting hers with a vulnerability that tore at her heart.

"You don’t have to carry all of this alone, Chris. I’m always here for you, no matter what. You’re safe with me, okay? I love you... so much." She leaned down, pressing another kiss to his forehead as she held him close, her voice soft.

The gentle reassurance, the quiet love in her words wrapped around him like a blanket, pulling him further into her warmth. His eyelids grew heavier, the tiredness finally catching up with him as he let himself surrender to the comfort of her arms, a quiet whine escaping his throat.

"I know, honey. Sleep." Y/N whispered, a tender smile on her lips as she cradled him closer, holding him like a mother would hold her kid, her hands tracing soothing patterns along his back. "You can rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up."

As she continued to whisper soft reassurances, her fingers running gently through his hair, Chris’s breathing finally evened out, his body relaxing completely in her arms. His head rested on the curve of her neck, his arms still wrapped around her waist as he drifted off, his pain and worries slipping away in the safety of her embrace.

Y/N leaned down, pressing one last, lingering kiss to his hair before laying her cheek against his head, her arms wrapped securely around his body as she watched over him.

"I love you, sweet boy."

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

A couple of hours had passed, the sunsetting casting a soft, warm light over Chris’s room, where he and Y/N lay wrapped together on the bed. Chris’s face was nestled against her shoulder, his breathing steady and calm now, his chest rising and falling in sync with hers.

Outside the room, Matt and Nick exchanged a glance. They’d been standing in the hallway for nearly five minutes, trying to muster the courage to knock. Their earlier argument with Chris had weighed heavily on both of them, guilt twisting in their stomachs as they replayed every hurtful word that had left their mouths.

Finally, Matt raised his fist and knocked softly on Chris’s door, the faint sound echoing in the silence. When there was no answer, he hesitated, glancing at Nick before slowly pushing the door open.

They both froze at the sight before them. Chris and Y/N were curled up together on the bed, Chris’s face still damp from tears as he lay against her, completely relaxed in her arms. Y/N had one arm around his shoulders, her fingers resting in his hair, while her other hand was hiding inside his shirt, holding his back, cradling him protectively. They looked peaceful.

Matt’s heart clenched at the sight, guilt intensifying as he took in Chris’s tear-streaked face. He glanced over at Nick, who was staring down at his feet, clearly feeling the same crushing remorse.

"Let's go. We can come back later." Matt muttered, pulling Nick towards himself before starting to back out of the room, thinking it might be best to give Chris a bit more time.

But just as they were about to close the door, Chris stirred, shifting slightly in Y/N’s arms. He nuzzled his head on her shoulder, his face just inches from the gentle slope of her neck where he could still catch the faint, familiar scent of her perfume mingling with the natural warmth of her skin.

He moved slightly, careful not to wake her, though his movement caused her to pull him in closer, her fingers instinctively brushing over his back. The feeling of her hand tracing small, soothing circles over his shoulder as if it was a muscle memory grounded him further, coaxing a soft sigh from him as he nuzzled deeper into her embrace, pressing a gentle, barely-there kiss to her neck.

When his sleepy eyes finally traveled around the room while gently stretching his legs between hers, he finally caught Matt and Nick's figures standing in the doorway.

His face fell the instant he realized they were there, his peaceful expression replaced by a guarded, distant look. Carefully, he eased himself up, making sure not to wake Y/N as he pulled himself away from her arms.

"Came for round two?" He looked at Matt and Nick, his sleepy voice laced with bitterness as he asked.

Nick swallowed, words catching in his throat as he struggled to find the right thing to say. What an irony. He opened his mouth but only managed to mumble, stumbling over his words as he tried to get them out.

Finally, Nick took a small step closer, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Chris, I... we came to say... We just..." His pearly teeth caged his bottom lip momentarily, taking a deep breath. "We love that you’re different."

Chris stared at him, incredulous, eyebrows raised as he scoffed softly.

"Different? That’s what you’re leading with?" His eyes narrowed, hurt simmering just beneath the surface. "So now I’m the ‘different’ one? Funny, ‘cause that didn’t seem to be a good thing a few hours ago."

Nick faltered, his face flushing as he realized his words weren’t coming out the way he intended. He tried again, tripping over his explanation.

"No, no, I... I didn’t mean it like that. I just-"

Chris took a deep, shaky breath, his gaze lowered as he avoided Nick and Matt's eyes, interrupting Nick.

"Look, I want to apologize, alright?" He started, his voice barely more than a murmur, thick with emotion. "I know it was all my fault and that I’m a lot to handle. I get it. I can be too loud, too... everything, really. And I know I’m not like you guys. I’ve tried so hard to be, but it’s just... not me." His words hung heavy in the room, his fingers twisting anxiously in his lap. "I feel like sometimes I just ruin things because I don’t know how to turn it off. You two seem to have this balance, you know when to joke and when to be serious, and I’m over here just... always pushing things too far."

He exhaled deeply, finally lifting his eyes to meet his brothers', the weight of insecurity and years of self-doubt written all over his face.

"I’m sorry if it feels like you have to put up with me. I’ve tried to be more like you, but it’s never enough. And sometimes... it just feels like who I am isn’t what anyone wants." His voice cracked at the last words, his vulnerability laid bare, and he quickly looked away, bracing himself for whatever they would say.

Nick and Matt shared a look, each seeing the guilt mirrored in the other’s eyes as Chris’s words sank in, cutting through them like a blade.

Matt felt his chest tighten, a pang of regret settling heavily in his stomach, making it hard to breathe. How could he have let Chris - his little brother, the boy who was always loving him no matter what - believe, even for a second, that he wasn’t wanted exactly as he was?

His legs moved on instinct, carrying him back into the room before he even registered it, straight to Chris, who looked so small and hurt, slumped at the edge of the bed. Kneeling down, Matt reached out, placing a steadying hand on Chris’s knee, his fingers gently pressing into his brother’s skin as if trying to ground him.

"Chris, you’re our little brother. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re too much for us." He swallowed, his voice wavering as he continued, willing Chris to see and feel every word. "I love you, man. We love you for who you are. You don’t need to change a thing. It’s your energy, your spark that makes everything better. You have this way of bringing life into everything, and that’s something I wouldn’t change for anything." He looked into Chris’s eyes, his own gaze filled with a raw honesty. "We need you to be you, Chris. No one else."

Nick’s heart clenched as he watched, his own guilt building with every second. Gaining control over the hurt and regret flooding him, he crossed the room in long strides, dropping down beside Matt. He looked up at Chris, his throat tight with emotion, the sight of his little brother so closed-off, so wounded, cutting deep. He was supposed to protect him, not hurt him.

"Yeah... you being another person? That’s not what we want at all. We’ve never wanted you to be anyone else. You’re perfect the way you are, Chris." Nick’s voice shook, filled with a determination to make Chris understand the truth, to undo every careless word he and Matt had thrown his way earlier. "I'm so, so sorry that we said all of those things and made you think so bad about yourself."

Chris’s defenses wavered, his resolve crumbling as he glanced between his brothers. Their sincerity seeped through, but doubt still clouded his gaze. He let out a heavy sigh, loosening his grip on his hoodie just a bit.

"You promise?" His voice was barely a whisper, fragile and laced with uncertainty, his fingers twisting anxiously into the fabric of his sleeve.

Without hesitation, Nick reached forward, taking Chris’s hands in his own, intertwining their fingers and squeezing firmly.

"We promise. We love how wild you are, how you’re always the one bringing the energy. You’re louder, sure, but that’s not something bad, it's exactly what makes you, you. You’re the happiest out of the three of us, Chris, and we wouldn’t change that for anything." He gave Chris’s hand another reassuring squeeze, feeling the smallest hint of relief when he saw the younger brother begin to relax, if only slightly.

Matt nodded, adding gently.

"And hey, I don’t think we need to be professional or act in a type of way for our videos to be good. The viewers love us for who we are... the mix of chaos and calm. That’s what makes us, us. It’s why they stick around."

Chris took a shaky breath, letting their words settle over him, feeling the weight of them begin to ease some of the pain. Slowly, he nodded, his fingers curling back around Nick’s reassuring grip.

"Okay."

Matt leaned forward, placing a hand on Chris’s shoulder.

"We’ll do better, alright? We’re brothers. We’re gonna mess up, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have each other’s backs. Always."

Chris exhaled deeply, finally letting the tension melt away as he leaned into their touch, the comfort of his brothers grounding him in a way only they could. Straightening himself, he managed a small, tired smile, his heart feeling a bit lighter.

"Yeah... always."

"Well, I’m really glad you guys are okay again." Y/N’s soft voice broke the silence, bringing all three heads up in surprise.

She moved with a quiet strength as she sat up and brushed her hand tenderly through Chris’s hair, watching his face light up as he realized she’d been awake all along.

"But just so we’re clear... if either of you hurt my baby like that again, you’re going to have to answer to me." She turned her gaze to Nick and Matt, a playful but fierce glint in her eyes.

"Y/N..." Chris dragged the last letter of her name in a whining tone, feeling flustered with how she called him 'her baby' in front of his brothers - even though they were more than accustomed with it.

Nick’s eyes widened jokingly with her threat, a chuckle escaping him. He lifted his hands in mock surrender, glancing at Matt as if to say, 'Well, we better watch out'. Matt nodded, eyes a bit sheepish, scratching the back of his neck.

"Alright, alright, no more ganging up on Chris. You have our word, Y/N."

Content with their promises, Y/N turned her attention back to Chris, opening her arms and pulling him into her embrace once more. He let out a soft sigh, sinking into her warmth, his head nestled against her shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him protectively, fingers tracing soothing circles along his back as she whispered.

"I told you they didn't mean it." He closed his eyes, letting her words wash over him, the last bits of hurt melting away.

Nick and Matt watched the two of them, a fondness softening their expressions.

"You know." She murmured, pulling Chris's head away from her chest and looking at him with a mischievous grin. "You’re pretty lucky to have all of us wrapped around your finger."

Chris laughed, a real laugh this time, the sound full of relief and love.

"Yeah, I know. I just... I guess I forget sometimes."

"Well." Nick started, squeezing Chris’s shoulder with a grin. "We’re not going anywhere. So next time, just remind us if we’re being idiots, alright?"

Chris nodded, glancing gratefully at each of them, feeling more grounded and cherished than he had in a long time.

[luveline]

God bombshell x reid kills me I want them to just be together so bad but the slow burn is so good

Would you happen to have anything in mind for a situation where spencer starts to see that her feelings are genuine and he can envision actually being with her?

thanks for requesting my love! ♡ fem reader

Your arrival is marked by a bunch of different things. The smell of your perfume, the clack of your shoes. The clinking sound of your two tennis bracelets as you lift your hand, and the scratch of your fingernails in his hair. He shivers at the soft touch, worse as you lean down to talk in his ear. “Morning,” you say cheerily. 

It's a quick ordeal. A swift scratch and you pull away. 

You've done affectionate things like that before. Hugged him when you thought he needed it, kissed his cheek to say thanks. When he was in the hospital after Tobias, you held his hand the entire time. He's always thought you felt sorry for him —you've made it clear that you think the team could be better to him. If it weren't for you, he probably wouldn't believe it himself. 

But something about your scratching rings a bell in his head. 

It's just so… girlfriend-y. 

He lifts his head from his desk to watch you walk to your own. Hotch won't abide you sitting together anymore on account of you letting him chat as much as he likes without chiding, but you're not far enough to escape his attention, either. Spencer's gaze follows your arms as you shrug from your jacket, and your neck as you lean back and let out a sigh. 

He gets up. 

“Did you sleep okay?” he asks worriedly. 

“Slept just fine, honey,” you say, brushing down your blouse. “How about you? Headaches any better?” 

“They're fine.”

You touch your cheek gently. “... What are you looking at me for?”

“Nothing,” he says quickly. When a rare insecurity flashes in your eyes, he adds, “You look really pretty today, that's all.” 

“Oh.” Your lips perk into a big smile, charmed and charming. “Thank you, Spencer. You look handsome, too. Your hair’s growing.” You bring a hand to his face, not hesitant, but waiting permission, and when he lifts his chin a touch you rake your hand through the hair at the side of his head to tuck behind his ears. “What are you thinking? You'll grow it out again, or cut it short?” 

He's probably gonna do whatever he thinks you'll like, and he's smart enough to guess. “Grow it out?” 

Your delight is not subtle. “It's so soft. I love it. I love your curls.” You glance past him to the landing. “Hotch is looking at us. I'm gonna pretend I didn't see him.” 

“L/N.” 

“Or hear him.” 

“Reid,” Hotch tries. 

Spencer turns on the spot, baffled. You're told off often for flirting with him, but everyone jokes that Spencer is the unwitting party. Hotch gives him a reproachful look that seems to say, stop.

And the second bell rings. Not only does your affection go beyond the boundaries of a friendship, and act outside of playful teasing, Hotch sees it as a mutual partnership. As an equal back and forth. 

Well fine. If this is real, and he's apparently going to get in trouble for things now, he has to just– just do it, right? “Did you hear that?” he asks, laying the mock confusion on thick. 

Your laughter is immediate, loud and sudden and beautiful. You grab his arm and hide your head as though that might obscure the sound of your giggling, your perfume like a wave that hits him smack in the chest. He grins down at you, hand flying automatically to your shoulder.

A boyfriend-y touch, he'd say. 

Spencer could be your boyfriend. He could. You press your forehead to his chest to ride out your laughing and he can see the two of you together, not just a silly daydream but the real thing. 

“Don't be mad,” you're saying as you lift your head, your hand spreading over his arm, familiar in its gentleness. “Hotch, come on! I didn't see him at all this weekend, and he looks so nice today. You know he looks nice today, give me a break.” 

Your voice is shaped by your fondness for him, for Hotch, too, and stretched like a sheet of silk. Spencer doesn't think he could want you more. 

“I'm furious,” Hotch says plainly. “I want to see you both in my office. Preferably now.” 

You wait for him to go back into his office before giving Spencer a small, sorry smile. “My bad, handsome. That one's on me. Take you out to lunch to make up for it?” 

“How about I take you out to lunch?” he asks. 

“But you didn't do anything.” 

“Is that true?” he asks, giving you a nudge. “Come on. He's gonna yell at us about last Thursday's paperwork, you know, the Kentucky stuff.” 

Your eyes widen and your lips part, but you recover, sewing your arm through his as you lament, “Noooo, I forgot about that. He's gonna fry us alive.” 

You don't sound particularly upset. 

[teddybeartoji]

bakugou hates it when you don't take good care of yourself. no matter whether he's your friend or a lover, doesn't matter if he's just your roommate, he can't stand it at all. it pisses him the fuck off.

he sees way more than he lets on, making it impossible for you to hide; when you brush past a question about whether you've eaten or not, he'll clock it immediately and when the bags under your eyes grow darker, he'll see that too. he notices the stupid things you think nobody would and it's weird to feel so seen by him.

he'll check the fridge and take note of the food that's still there, but he won't say anything – without asking whether you want it or whether you need it, he'll make you something on his own. he knows what you like and he knows what you don't like, he knows exactly what'll make your eyebrows raise up in surprise and what'll make your nose scrunch up in disgust. he'll prepare the meal and he'll give it to you with a huff.

sometimes he'll just let you eat in your own room but sometimes he'll try to lure you into the living room with him. and it's not even about him making sure that you'll finish it or anything, he just wants to eat with you. he's trying to be as gentle as he can because he realizes that a lecture would only make the matters worse; so, he'll simply put on a film he knows you'll like and he'll take his seat on the couch while waiting for you to join him. no pressure, no harsh words.

there are times where he'll be a bit more straightforward, though.

if he catches you ignoring some of his questions, about you drinking water etcetc, the likelyhood of him calling you out on it is high. he doesn't have time for that – he'll interrupt whatever you were rambling about and he'll demand an answer. silence will do, if that's all you have for him. he won't even give you a reaction, he'll just urge you to continue on with your talk while getting you a glass of water.

he gets straight to the point and there's really no point in trying to fight him.

you not dressing correctly is also something he'll immediately reprimand you for because where the hell are you going like that? no scarf on a windy day? he'll click his tongue and throw you his. no gloves during winter? he'll come back the next the with a completely new pair that he'd gotten for you. at the time, he might even chuck a pillow at you and tell you all about how he won't take care of you if you were to get sick.

and you'll laugh because you know he's lying, and he'll tut and avert his gaze.

because he knows he's lying.

oh, and he will nag about your messy room.

while cleaning it.

at first you think he's just there to mock you but then he's actually dusting your shelves and folding your clothes and taking away your dirty dishes and when you finally pull yourself together to tell him to stop, he gives you a glare that would seem harsh to a stranger, but you know better.

just let me do it.

if you try to thank him for it, he'll pretend like it never happened. like you don't have anything to thank him for, even less apologize for, because well... in his mind, you don't.

he isn't mad at you, he's just mad at the situation. this isn't laziness and he knows it, and so, he'll do his best to make it better, to make it easier for you. he'll make you something to eat and he'll clean your room and he'll bark at you for dressing too lightly and he'll let you fall asleep on his shoulder without a complaint because this is his way of letting you know that he cares for you.

[a-hazbin-reader]

could you do something about how alastor gets jealous and how he shows it? Like what things would get him jealous and stuff like that and then how he would go about it? Thank you!

I guess I gotta- 🥵

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Alastor being a red flag, Wifey is into it even though she pretends not to be, A widdle suggestive

Description: ☝️⬆️

It doesn't take much to make Alastor jealous, he has a big ego to defend and doesn't like to share your attention

He also doesn't think a lot of people are worthy of your attention so that's a big part of it

Alastor is almost childish the way he acts out when he's jealous, it's painfully obvious even though he denies it every time

He sulks and acts out to get your attention back on him, doing anything he can to make you just look at him

He's rude and intimidating to anyone he thinks is flirting with you or trying to take you for themselves

After every incident, he tries to pretend like nothing happened and refuses to acknowledge his jealous streak

Can't people just understand that you're a married woman and that Alastor deserves all of your time???

Someone is talking to you and you're laughing too hard, cheeks a little too pink? Alastor is right there to sniff out any ill intention

"What's so funny, my dear? Surely you're not gossiping without me.."

He's wrapping a protective arm around you and kissing your cheek, eyeing the other person the entire time as he asserts his husbandly dominance over them

"Hm? Oh! He was telling me a funny joke about-"

Alastor takes a break from kissing your wrist and palm to snap his gaze to the other man, a wicked gleam in his eye

"Ohhhh! So you're a clown! Wonderful~! Your attire had me wondering what you do for a living, but now it all makes sense!"

The other person is visibly uncomfortable by your husband's unspoken challenge and backs out of the conversation with their tail between their legs

"I guess he had other things to do~"

You roll your eyes as Alastor nuzzles your neck, petting his around his ears and antlers

"You're are not a very subtle man, my dear."

You're dancing with someone who's not him? Alastor will physically shut that shit down

He spends maybe a full minute pouting and ignoring everyone else around him, eyes locked on you and your dance partner

"Alastor, are you even listening?"

"Out of all the women here, why did he choose MY wife? I walked away for one second, and he snatched her up!"

He doesn't care for how closely they're holding you, the way they blush and smile from your attention

Alastor isn't having it, striding over and using his hip to push the man away from you and off the dance floor, taking your hand

You're trying not to smile at him, pressing against your husband as you take his hand and dance with him

"Alastor, that was rude..."

He simply chuckles and spins you around happily, snapping his fingers to change the song into something more romantic

"I would say I'm sorry but we both know I'm not~ Besides, I waited for my chance to dance with you!"

It's hard to stay mad at him when he's looking at you like you're the only person in the world and holding you like you're something precious

It helps that he's so handsome, you can't help but lean up and steal a kiss from him, feeling familiar butterflies at the touch

"You've been dancing with me all night, and you barely waited a minute... you greedy demon~"

He leans into your hand as you cup his cheek, tail wagging from having your undivided attention again

"Is it a crime that I want to hog my darling wife? That I crave every opportunity to dance with her and steal the show?"

He's leaning in for another kiss, and it makes you instinctively move in closer to meet his lips

"It will be if you keep injuring people~"

And those are just some examples of people who weren't flirting with you, it's so much worse when someone actually wants you

You're waiting for your husband to meet with you for your date, dressed up and looking your absolute best

When you hear a sharp whistle from behind, only to see a sleazy looking demon towering over you and eyeing your body

"And just where do you think you're going looking like that, beautiful? My place is that way~"

He's much too close, placing a hand on the wall behind you in order to keep you from running, completely unaware of the danger he's in

You can't help but roll your eyes at the situation

"I'm flattered, really I am... but I'm not interested, I'm waiting for someone, actually."

You casually move out from under his arm, completely unfazed by the way his expression darkens as you fix your appearance

"Oh really? And just who might you be waiting for? Let me guess, your boyfriend?"

He doesn't look like he believes you, making air quotes around the word boyfriend

You can't help but laugh at the poor soul, putting a hand on your hip as you whip around to face him-

"Husband, actually~ My name is Alastor though maybe you'll recognize my other name! The Radio Demon~ Maybe you've heard of me?"

It's such a treat to watch the cocky demon lose his composure in fear and so sexy to watch your husband be the cause of it

The demon is so much larger than Alastor but he's practically cowering away from him, Alastor grinning at him as he tilts his head

"Look uh-I'm sorry! I didn't realize-"

Your husband tuts at the demon, antlers already growing as he morphs into his larger demonic form

You can't help but blush at how sweet Alastor is being, rushing to your rescue like this

"Didn't realize what? That you were hitting on my wife? You think I would just stand by and let you think you have a shot with her? She's much too far out of your league, unfortunately."

He's so cute when he's jealous

"Darling, do be quick with that? I don't want to miss our reservation-and no eating him! I don't want you to spoil your appetite!"

Alastor looks at you and visibly blushes at how good you look, the other demon simply an afterthought as he tears them apart

"My dear, you look absolutely ravishing~ How am I going to keep the other men from looking at you when you're so delectable?"

He's still humongous, a large claw reaching out to stroke your leg tenderly, a lovesick expression on his face

You can practically see the hearts in his eyes~ Smiling at your husband and blowing him a kiss

"It's a good thing that you're the only man I have eyes for then, isn't it?"

He shrinks back down to his normal size and kisses your hand before wrapping an arm around you as you two walk together

"It's something that I'm extraordinarily grateful for~"

You can't help but lean your head against him, letting him nuzzle the top of your head in an affectionate manner

"Though~ I wouldn't mind a refresher of just how much you adore me...~"

You can't help but snort at the comment, gently slapping his chest before pulling him in for a kiss

"Dinner first~ You'll need your strength~"

I might go back and change this one a bit ngl

[cherriegyuu]

back room | csc

pairing: seungcheol x f!reader genre: smut word count: 2.3k summary: while seungcheol is on a meeting you decide that it's a great moment to send him nudes. warnings: minors do not interact, kissing, stimulation, swearing, petnames, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don't do this) a/n: this is part of 1k event, it was requested @xcynthiaaa. i hope you like it. prompts: "Feeling a bit possessive, aren't we?" + “Can you stop sending me nudes, I’m at work.” lower case was intentional, not proofread

you anxiously watched the meeting room, you glanced at your phone every now and then to make sure that seungcheol had gotten your text. he was doing a good job of keeping a straight face, his eyes not even once going to his phone or to you, though you were sure that he knew that the new influx of texts was from you. 

without meaning to, your eyes went from him to the woman sitting right in front of him. since the beginning of the meeting she never stopped looking at seungcheol and if the nasty gossip that floated to your ears was any true, she had been hitting on him a long time before you showed up.

maybe you were feeling a little insecure about yourself, because the woman was stunning, with the kind of face and body one could easily find in a magazine, or maybe you just hated the fact that there was a woman throwing herself at your boyfriend. to his credit, seungcheol never looked at her, unless she directly called his name, and when she touched his leg with her pointy shoes he scooted his chair back.

you bit your lip, wanting to come up with an excuse to go into the meeting room and maybe end it. but you didn't have a good one and although if you did go in, no one would ever bat an eye, it just wasn't right. and, more than anything else, it could backfire and instead of being amused by your sudden jealousy, seungcheol would get angry because you could have potentially ruined an important moment for him. 

so you kept your butt on your chair, doing your very best to keep your focus on the work that needed to be done. it was pointless and you knew that. every couple of seconds your eyes moved to the meeting room. 

"who was the idiot that decided that a meeting room should have glass walls?" you asked no one in particular. 

"pretty sure it was the ceo" wonwoo said from the desk in front of you. 

it was a surprise that he even heard you in the first place. wonwoo was great at ignoring the people around him, you more than anyone else, and he usually had his earbuds in, blasting music loud enough that people near him could hear it too. you liked to pretend that he never answered because his hearing was getting progressively worse because of all the loud music. 

"almost certain your boyfriend agreed, saying it was a great idea," he said, not looking at you. 

you choked on your own saliva, eyes wide as you reached for the water bottle on your right. no one was supposed to know about your relationship with seungcheol, as it was against company rules. both of you thought that you had done a good job in hiding it, a fantastic one actually. 

you never arrived together, never left together, barely talked of things that weren't specific about work, and if there was a company dinner you never sat close to each other, always choosing opposite sides, but careful enough not to be facing each other. 

you were always careful, to the point most people thought you didn't like each other. 

"he's not..."

"you don't have to lie" he waved a hand in your direction, "i'm the only one who knows. and i only know because i saw you together a couple of weeks ago at a restaurant" 

you opened your mouth to say something when your phone suddenly lit up with an incoming text. it was pathetic how quickly you grabbed your phone, to the point wonwoo laughed at you. 

cheol feeling a bit possessive, aren't we?

you bit your lip trying to hide your smile but it was almost impossible. when you looked at the meeting room, seungcheol's eyes were focused on you. 

to the average person, he looked displeased, angry even. but you knew that the glint in his eyes was for a different reason.

you moved your attention back to your phone.

you just wanted to remind you that you have a girlfriend

you went through your gallery again, clicking on the picture you took a few days before and pressing send. seungcheol had to be away for a few days because of work and because you weren't part of his team, there was no reason for you to tag along. you had been feeling hornier than usual, needy even. so you decided that if you were missing your boyfriend to the point where your fingers could do nothing but make you even needier, he too could miss you a little bit. 

so you took pictures of yourself sprawled in his bed, wearing the red lingerie you knew he liked the most, and sent it to him. it took him a couple of hours to see it and it was so long that you started to think that maybe it had been a bad idea and that though he was someone who enjoyed foreplay there were things that he wasn't willing to do. 

to your surprise and delight, he was more into it than you expected. 

after that, if you were feeling pretty enough, you'd take pictures and randomly send them to him. 

cheol you know i love it but, can you stop sending me nudes? i'm at work  we're at work

you okay ;)

you send him a different picture, this time one he had taken the night before, of your reflection in the mirror while you rode him. 

you smiled at your phone before setting it down, happy with yourself. seungcheol looked almost pained as he turned his attention back to the meeting, nodding his head every now and then, but his eyes continued to move back to his phone. 

he couldn't really believe what you had done, though you weren't the shiest woman he had ever met, for you there had always been certain boundaries you refused to cross. he couldn't help but wonder if you had gotten jealous enough to do that, send him pictures while he was in a room filled with people. had the client had gone a little further you would have barged into the room ready for a fight? 

his hard on was a little uncomfortable, and yes he crossed his legs in order to hide it, but it was extremely hard to keep the smile away from his face.

"i'm sure we can make the adjustments for next week, can't we seungcheol?" his boss suddenly said.

seungcheol cleared his throat and adjusted himself on the chair. 

"yes, i can finish it by friday next week

"great!" the woman said in her high pitched tone. 

seungcheol took a discreet deep breath to keep himself from rolling his eyes. 

he didn't know how you even thought that he could be interested in her, or if anything at all even went through your brain. the client was objectively pretty but everything else about her didn't do much for him. and she crossed one too many lines during the meeting. seungcheol made it a point to keep quiet for the day but there was no way he would stand another meeting with the woman. he would still work on the project but the ceo could handle her by himself, something told him he would be happy to.

"i was thinking that maybe we could all go for lunch," she started.

seungcheol stood up, shaking his head. he pulled the folder from the desk and held it in front of himself. the sight was ridiculous and he could picture you laughing in his head.

"i have a lot of work to catch up on, i'll have to pass on it"

the polite thing to do would be to shake her hand but seungcheol wanted to get away as fast as possible so once the ceo nodded at him, he turned on his heels and left the meeting room. 

he went straight to your desk. you smiled while looking down and at the mere sight of you, his cock twitched like he was a fucking teenager that had never seen a woman before. 

"yn, i need you at the archive room. now"

at the sound of his voice, you looked up. your smile melted away and you wore the usual serious face whenever seungcheol was around. 

he hated it, the fact that you had to hide your relationship. he wanted everyone to know that you were his, and then maybe all the stupid men in the office would stop trying to ask you out. 

"why?" you asked, your tone bored. 

"because you were the last one to go through the files and i need help" he matched your bored tone. 

wonwoo laughed, making seungcheol turn to him. he raised his eyebrows, a silent question thrown at the man sitting in front of you. wonwwo just shook his head, his smile suddenly gone. he turned to you, eyebrows still raised. 

you sighed and followed him. your heels clicking on the floor while you followed him three steps behind. 

was the archive room always that far away?

"what do you need?" you asked, tone still bored, when the room came into view. 

seungcheol opened the door for you and followed you inside, locking the door behind him. 

when you turned to look at him you smiled at him, your arms crossed over your chest. he threw the folder he used to cover himself to the side and put his hands on his waist. you watched in complete amazement and laughed when you noticed the bulge in his pants. 

"awn, did you like the pictures that much?" your voice was taunting. 

seungcheol took three steps closer to you and pulled your hand, putting it over his cock. just that was almost enough to get a moan out of him. 

the second he saw the picture of you over him, his dick deep inside your pussy, it was all he could think about. having you again, as fast as possible was his only concern. 

"there are cameras in here," you said, your eyes wide while you looked around, lightly pulling your hand away from his grasp. 

"there isn't"  

at his words, you opened the zipper of his pants just enough to push your hands into his boxers. you wrapped your hand around his cock and ran your thumbs over his tip, pumping him a couple of times. you smiled when a quick shudder ran over him. 

seungcheol grabbed your face and pulled you to him, his lips crashing over yours. he pushed his tongue through your lips, taking control. his hands moved down to your neck, squeezing it softly. 

"my little menace," he said "what did you think was going to happen, hm?"

he pulled your skirt up until it was pooled around your waist and pushed you until your back was pressed against the wall.

"you wanted me to walk out of that room and fuck you, over your desk?"

you moaned at the thought, though in your ideal world, none of your coworkers would be around to witness it. seungcheol turned you around and forced your legs apart with his feet while holding one of your arms behind your back. you used your free hand to steady yourself on the wall. 

"if you don't ask, i'm not going to fuck you, baby" 

it was something seungcheol often relished on, the fact that he could make you beg. you were so quiet, so shy, but he always made you say it, implore for it. 

"you're the one with a hard on, sweetheart" you teased. if he thought that you were going to beg this time too, he was wrong "i can go back to work as if nothing happened"

you really couldn't. if you did it was going to be the worst work day for you because the only thing you could possibly think about was the fact that your boyfriend had a hard on because of you and you said no when he wanted to fuck you. 

seungcheol shoved your panties aside and pushed himself into you. he groaned as your walls sucked him in. you moaned at the feeling of being full, at being stretched out to fit him. he moved relentlessly, his pace almost cruel as he searched for his release. 

"jesus, cheol..." a loud moan left your lips as you were suddenly pressed on the wall. 

"you have to be quiet, baby" you could feel his smirk on your neck "everyone will hear you"

seungcheol snaked his arm around your waist, and his fingers worked your clit with the same drive as his hips moved. he was a madman and you loved every single piece of him. you covered your mouth with your hand, your eyes shut close, in a pathetic attempt to be quiet. even if your moans couldn't be heard, there was no way people wouldn't hear the sound of his hips on your yours. 

"you’re going to be filled with cum" he whispered, his free hand grabbing your neck, tilting your head back "running down your thighs the entire day"

seungcheol pinched your clit and it was enough to throw you over the edge. this time you were able to swallow your moan. you pressed your hands on the wall, trying to steady yourself, as your legs shook. seungcheol was quick to follow, your walls clenching around him like a vice as he pounded into you again and again. 

he used your shoulder to quiet his own moan and heavy breath.

"just so you know, this wasn't my intention," you said once you were able to breathe again.

seungcheol laughed and took a step back as he adjusted his shirt and pants.

"no?"

you rolled your eyes and leaned on the wall.

"maybe later, at your place" you gave in

he laughed and pulled your skirt down while you buttoned his shirt. 

"well, it's only noon"

taglist: @wonwooz1, @mirtaspace, @feat-sun, @belladaises, @immabecreepin, @miriamxsworld, @aaniag, @byunparklimchoi, @k-drama-adict, @@maiamorrrrrrrrrrrr, @roguesthetic, @sofix-hc7, @moonlightgrleric, @mixling-blog, @haowonbins, @valgracia, @slut4donghyuck, @manutuankim, @shuabby1994, @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan, @sukiscones

if you enjoyed reading, please reblog or leave a comment, it really does mean the world to me and i would love to know your thoughts. thank you! 💕

if you want to be tagged in my next fics, please fill out this form

[sp0o0kylights]

Wayne takes in a Beat to Shit Steve Harrington after Starcourt as n Owed Favor to Hopper Part 4

Part Three: link

First Chapter (parts 1-3 on tumblr) on A03: Link

The kid was madder than a wet hen.

Just as slippery as one too, when he got like this--music pulsing like a living thing to signal all his rage and upset. 

Not like Wayne hadn’t expected it. 

He just wished it wasn’t quite so damn loud. 

The music had started up almost immediately after Eddie had stormed to his room, startling Steve awake and nearly making Wayne curse for it.

Normally it was a good thing--music meant Eds was willing to listen instead of heading for the hills.  

Normally, they didn't have a house guest who looked like he'd gone ten rounds with a bear.

They had a routine for this, was the thing and the music was a key part of it. It worked all the edges off for Wayne, and he'd long figured out that about thirty minutes was a the perfect length of time for Eddie to stew before he could actually talk things through.

Given the hand Harrington put to his forehead, Wayne wasn't eager to give him that thirty minutes.

Not when Steve deserved little peace he could have.

Unfortunately, so did Eds. 

Still.

 Strutting through the door and demanding to talk right now was a bad move and so, with a sympathetic look given to Steve, Wayne did what he did best

Gave space.

Let Eddie rage, as Wayne got up and shuffled about the kitchen.

Pulled out the soft earplugs he pretended weren’t there for Eds to steal (playing that damn loud guitar all the time could not be good for his ears) and offered them to Steve, before making two cups of what Wayne privately thought was the Munson “chitchat” drink. 

One cup of hot water, one packet swiss miss, a small amount of maple syrup drizzled in, topped with little marshmallows they reserved for these types of situations. 

Wayne took his time with it, thinking through what he wanted to say. 

‘I understand that this is a screen door on a submarine kind of situation...’ 

Nope. 

‘Son I know you hate listening to anyone for anything but this is serious...’ 

Absolutely not--that would end up with the boy bolting for sure. 

‘Ed’s, I love you but could we please turn Ozzy off while we talk? That man wails louder than any damn cat I have ever met.’

That one was purely self indulgent, mostly because the wall was starting to shake. 

Wayne put the finishing touches on the cocoa before staring at both of them. 

Perhaps if he stared the Garfield mug in its eyes hard enough, the right words would come through. 

They did not.

He kept trying, standing there long enough for the cocoa to reasonably have cooled and for Eddie’s song to flip over to something with more screaming in it than singing. 

Wayne supposed that this was the hardest part of being a parent. You just didn’t get to have the magical one liner. The right thing to say at just the right time.  

The joke that would ease all the tension and let things progress forward nice and easy.

Instead, you got to fumble your way through the dark with a flashlight up your ass and hope you were going in the right-ish direction. Ideally without making things worse. 

Wayne was here though, and that had to count for something. 

(Knew it counted for something--because Eddie was still here. 

They had cleared hurdles far higher than this when it came to trust. They’d get through this too, come what may. 

Steve too.)

“Can I just ask,” Eddie started, aggressive as always when Wayne finally gave in and entered his room, feeling all sorts of awful for the migraine Steve had to have, “what the absolute fuck is happening?” 

Sure as fire he was sitting on his bed, leg bouncing a mile a minute.

An unlit cigarette hung between two fingers, looking a little chewed on, but otherwise undisturbed--as it should be, because one of Wayne’s few rules was that smoke stayed outside the house. 

“You could.” Wayne said loudly but agreeably, as he turned himself around and dropped down next to his kid.  

Held out the Garfield mug, and was happy when it was taken from him. 

“Figured you might have other things to say, though.” 

Likely a lot of things. 

It was as good an opening as any, and his kid didn’t disappoint, launching right to it. 

“Why is he here and not at a hospital?”

 ‘Here’ was punctuated by Ed’s hand winging towards the door, and while it wasn’t the righteous fury Wayne expected, it was at least, an easy answer to give. 

“Steve has some people looking for him. Bad people. Hospital makes him an easy target.” 

Wayne was still talking loud. Could only hear Eddie himself because he was looking at the kid’s lips more than he was actually hearing his voice. 

Eddie took that in, swallowing it about as well as he’d swallowed anything he hadn’t liked. 

And thank the stars above, he finally reached a hand out and turned the music down. Not a lot--Steve wouldn’t be able to hear them over all this--but enough that Wayne didn’t have to struggle. 

“We’re hiding him from the cops now?!” Ed’s spat. 

“Cops know he’s here. Hopper’s the one who asked me to take him.” Wayne reminded him, because it was the truth. 

Not the full truth, but given how Ed’s pissed off half the local PD on a good day, Wayne absolutely did not want to see his nephew take on Federal Agents.

(Particularly not the kind who were going ‘round killing kids.) 

“So--what?” Eddie yanked hard on his hair, a gesture that looked less intentional and more like he was trying to fight his own anger down. “Hopper just called you up and said ‘Hey, we had a whoopsie with the rich kid, the hospital’s not safe anymore. Can we stash him with you for a few days?” 

Wayne nodded once, slow-like. 

Always remembered how too fast movements had made Eddie flinch and jerk back when was littler, and given the way Steve was looking, figured it was a good time to be cautious again. 

“He did.”

“And you just--agreed? Just like that!?” 

“I did.” 

He pretended not to see Eddie boggle at him at the simple admission, so furious that he seemed to struggle for words when he normally had too many to say. 

Wayne took advantage. 

“We did talk a bit more than that, I’ll admit.”

Ed’s scoffed. “About the weather I’m sure.” 

“‘Bout trust.” 

Eddie blinked at that. 

“Trust.” He echoed flatly. 

“What have I always told you? People like to ask you to trust them, but you they don’t get to have it until--” 

“They provide proof or a reason.” Eddie finished with an eyeroll. “So which did Hopper provide then?”

Wayne took a noisy sip of his coca. Smacked his lips a little before saying: “Both.” 

Didn’t bother to say anything else, because he knew Eddie would finish the thought for him. 

“One of them was me, wasn’t it.” 

Eds didn’t say it like a question, but Wayne hummed in agreement anyway. 

He wasn’t gonna shame his boy, but he wasn’t gonna sugar coat Eddie’s involvement in this either. Not when he’d already admitted that was half the reason Hopper had gone to Wayne to begin with. 

“No one is expecting Steve to be here.” He said, seeing the chance to hammer home the most important part of this entire shitshow. “So long as no one finds out he’s here, he’ll be safe. Everyone will be safe.” 

Steve from the Feds who were hunting him for while he was busy being involved in shit he couldn’t control and Eddie because he had a mouth that most people didn’t like. 

Not small town people anyway, and absolutely not authority figures with guns. 

“Who’s even after him?” Eddie was theatrical as always, hands waving away as he talked. “Did he make a deal with the mob? Piss off some other rich guy? I know it’s not anything drug related, I’d have heard about it by now.” 

After years of experience, Wayne knew exactly how far to lean away to stay out of range, too used to his nephew talking with his entire body.

“That’s his story to tell ya, Ed’s. It ain’t mine. Same way it ain’t my place to tell him your story.” 

That at least got the boy to think for a minute. Put down that frustration he carried with him all the time, and use the brain they both knew he had. 

“How long is he staying here?”

Wayne shrugged. “Don’t know.” 

Eddie sighed and mockingly mimicked Wayne, taking an obnoxious slurp of his cocoa. “The neighbors are going to notice if he’s here more than a few days. The trailer park isn’t exactly big.” 

“They didn’t notice that time you decided to make fireballs with the cooking spray and about blew up half the driveway. Don’t think they’re gonna notice someone being quiet in the house.” 

Eddie snorted, and probably rolled his eyes again, not that Wayne could see it given the kid was looking into his own mug as he thought it all through. 

Wayne sat with him as he processed. 

Eds worked at his own pace with things, and while life at large might be against that, Wayne was happy to let him do it. Found it easier that way, then trying to poke and prod and force him like so many father figures did. 

Wayne’s patience was rewarded not even a full minute later, when Eddie turned to him and asked; 

“What if he finds out?”  

This in a quieter voice. An unsure one--words and body hunching in a way unlike the Eddie the world outside knew, but very much like the little boy Wayne had brought inside his home. 

It took Wayne  a moment to connect the dots--he’d been speaking out of the place parents and authority figures often do, and in doing so hadn’t thought much of the fact his nephew had a real secret. 

The kind small town minds didn’t like--and would kill him over. 

This all wasn’t about Wayne taking in Steve, he realized abruptly.  It was that Steve being here meant Eddie couldn’t be himself. 

Could not relax in a place he was accepted for who he was, because Wayne knew and made sure Eddie understood he was wanted here, had a place here, regardless of who he loved. 

Now, Wayne had gone and removed it.

‘Shit.’ 

“He won’t.” Wayne said. 

Knew that wasn’t enough, and so, promised: “But if he does, I’ll make sure he understands his safety here relies on your own.” 

Ed’s chin jerked in a nod, the two of them sitting in silence for a moment before the boy did as he often did when he wanted a hug but felt too awkward to ask for one, and tipped himself into Wayne’s side. 

“Thanks old man.” Eddie whispered into his shoulder and not for the first time, Wayne wished things were easier for the poor kid as he put his mug in one hand and hugged his kid with the other. 

Hoped that in the future, it would be.

Even if he had to force everyone and everything coming after him--and now Steve--to do it.

(Wondered vaguely, how bad it was that he was already getting as protective as Steve as he was of his own kid.

Probably very, given his kid clearly hated Harrington.)

xXx

Wayne took the first night of Steve’s stay off.

He wasn’t the type to use his PTO lightly. Was used to rationing it for any possible thing Eddie might need him for.

A night up sick when he was younger, to a night spent chasing him down during some of their bad spots--but the last year or so Wayne had slowly realized he hadn’t had to use it much.

He was still careful with it though, precious as it was, and was thankful for it now as it ensured his nephew didn’t murder their house guest. 

Or at the very least, didn't sit there pecking at him.

The kid might've failed English a few times, but he had a real gift with words and an even better one with insults.

(Wayne wasn't quite clear on what all the "King" jabs were about, and absolutely did not get why Steve looked far more hurt at the comment about his "sad ass floppy hair" but given the increasingly flat look Steve was throwing Eddie's way, Wayne figured it couldn't be anything good.)

Thankfully a pointed reminder about Steve's injuries had finally gotten them all some peace, enough for Harrington to drop back to sleep--and for Wayne to realize he looked a little too dead while he did it to be comfortable getting any sleep himself.

The kids chest barely moved, and that it ate at Wayne’s until he got up and shoved a hand under his nose. 

Felt his breath, and told himself the poor sod was fine. 

Hurt, absolutely, but alive. 

Over and over again, until the sun had made its rotation in the sky, bringing the morning with it.

‘Better than nightmares, I suppose.’ Wayne figured, as exhaustion scraped at his eyelids.

Those Wayne knew, would come later. When Steve’s brain caught up to the rest of him, and stopping dumping survival chemicals through his battered body. 

He'd given up on sleep entirely sometime around 1 am, and now he sat at his small kitchen table, writing out a medication schedule for Harrington so he and the kid both knew when he could have his next Tylenol. 

Wasn’t even halfway through it before Eddie made his typically late appearance and blew through his door. 

Had his back up from the moment he’d stepped a foot in the kitchen and it didn’t take a genius to see he’d worked himself into a snit again.

Unfortunately for him, whatever scenario that imaginative brain of his had cooked up fell flat to the reality that was the poor kid on the couch. 

Steve Harrington was one a hell of a sight.

Didn’t help that he was doing his level best to make himself as small as possible, curled deep into Wayne's ancient couch.

The blankets covered the ribs and hid away most of the damage, but there wasn’t much Steve could do to hide the shiners on his face--or the marks around his neck.  

Not when they’d grown worse overnight, practically inviting questions.

It was almost laughable how quickly Eddie ate whatever words he’d prepared, mouth awkwardly chewing around them as if they were tangible. 

The less-than-sneaky looks he threw at the younger teen were equally amusing, and if Wayne wasn’t trying to peace keep, he’d have given in and chuckled when Eds split attention caused him to pour half his coffee into the sink rather than a cup. 

Looked utterly lost when, after finishing putting his coffee together and grabbing some junk food thing that absolutely was not a breakfast item, he came to stand awkwardly at Wayne's shoulder, openly staring as Steve blatantly ignored him.

Eds didn’t know what to do, and Wayne couldn't blame him. 

Seemed to keep thinking he was going to encounter a boy that likely no longer existed, and whose blood tinged specter just made things sad.

Shit like this, Wayne knew, took a man’s ego and warped it, shaping it to something else entirely. 

At least for Steve, it seemed that getting wrapped up in whatever mess he had had shaped him for the better, instead of pretzeling him into something worse. That, Wayne thought, spoke to the boy's character more than anything he’d done prior. 

(It helped to know what Hopper tolerated and what he didn’t. That he’d vouched for Steve in the same way Wayne knew he’d vouched for Eddie, even if Eddie didn’t yet realize the cop he antagonized so much would do that for him.) 

That didn't erase the history his kid had with Harrington, though.

Wouldn't stop him from seeing the old Steve, first.

‘Don’t you got school?” Wayne asked when he decided Ed had stared enough. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie waved him off, trotting out the door. “Bye old man, house parasite!” 

It was clearly a jab, meant to nettle, but Steve barely acted like he heard it. 

Wayne rolled his eyes. 

“Goodbye, Eds.” He said firmly, much of a warning as he ever gave, and fondly watched his nephew scuttle out the door. 

Turned to see how Steve was taking things, and was once again given a reminder that Steve wasn’t doing a hell of a lot other than feeling his injuries. 

“I think I promised you a game, son.”  Wayne said gently, startling Steve out of the distant, dim look he had trained on the wall. 

It wasn’t a lot to offer in terms of a distraction, but it would have to do.

[thriftedtchotchkes]

old dogs don't change

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: weeks after sleeping together, your no-strings-attached agreement goes up in flames when joel goes on a date with another woman. you make sure that never happens again. (sequel to keep it on the low)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, ex-boyfriend!joel, jackson era, tlou 2 jesse appearance, age gap, hurt, angst, smut, unprotected piv, post-breakup sex, rough sex, public sex, rough oral (m!receiving), exhibitionism, possessive behavior, jealousy, alcohol use, briefly dating other people

word count: 10.6k

You have no idea who she is, but you bet she’s a total bitch. Is that mean? Maybe. Do you give a shit? Nope.

To be fair, you’d probably say that about anyone Joel started dating after you, but that doesn’t mean it can’t still be true. Sure, you've never actually talked to her…or seen her before in your entire life, but that’s beside the point. She’s cute and bubbly, and everything you’re not, and that’s the point. 

It’s honestly a little comical how different the two of you are, and you can’t help but wonder if Tommy did that on purpose. You know he was the one who set them up. Everyone in the dining hall was talking about it this morning. The latest, hottest piece of gossip, bouncing from table to table like a cruel game of telephone. 

He probably thinks he’s protecting his big brother, but you think he needs to mind his own fucking business. It’s not like he knows anything about your relationship, not really. Well. It’s not your relationship anymore, is it? And Tommy, along with everyone else in this town, blames you for that.

Poor Joel, dumped by the biggest bitch in Jackson, who took advantage of his kindness and patience for years, and broke his heart when all he did was love her. Selfish, cold, and uncaring. Nothing like the pretty, perky girl sitting next to him in the booth they’re sharing at Seth’s. 

If only they knew what really happened.

The bar is especially busy, even for a Saturday night, so you figure no one’ll notice you blatantly glaring at them. It’s not like you care, anyway. You’re feeling warm and loose, and maybe a little too tipsy for your own good, but tonight, you get to do whatever the fuck you want. 

Because Joel’s sitting ten feet away with his arm slung around another woman, and it hurts. 

It sucks way worse than him avoiding you since the last time you slept together, after all of the things you did and said on that couch. The things he said. You shoo away the thought with another swig of beer, wishing you were drinking something stronger. It's for the best. 

If you get any drunker, you’ll probably end up doing something stupid, and the last thing you need is to prove everyone right that he’s better off without you. But you can’t seem to shake the anger that’s starting to simmer below the surface. 

With the emotional toll this night has already taken, you kind of don’t want to. So, you surrender to it. Fuck him. He’s a piece of shit for parading his new girl around right in front of you, and for breaking off your agreement without so much as a word. 

If he wanted to see other people, he should’ve opened his mouth and used his big boy words. Then again, he’s always been terrible at that, so why are you surprised? 

Maybe he’ll fuck her tonight. Touch her all of the ways you like because that’s all he knows anymore. She’ll moan for him, soft and sweet, gentle in her affection, just like she’s touching him right now. But it won’t satisfy him, and when he’s panting on top of her, chasing that all-consuming release only you can give him, you know he’ll be pretending she's you. 

Asshole.

You’re still watching them, shooting daggers from your spot at the bar, when your wish from earlier is granted. Two overflowing shot glasses topped with lime are placed in front of you, and you look up to see a very attractive dark-haired, brown-eyed man smirking down at you.

"Looked a little lonely over here," he says in a raspy baritone even lower than Joel's. He clinks the top of your beer bottle with the bottom of his own. "Thought you could use some company, maybe another drink."

Well, he’s right. You could use some company, and you’d love another drink. There’s no harm in having a little fun, right? If Joel’s doing it, then there’s nothing stopping you.

"So, both of these are for me, then?" you smile coyly, reaching for one. He nods, his own smile widening.

"Could be. Can I join ya?" he gestures to the empty stool next to you. 

He has this cocky look on his face like he already knows you'll say yes, and in your inebriated state, you think it's kind of hot. It reminds you of Joel when you first met. How he knew exactly what he wanted and wouldn't give up until it was his. Until you were his.

You consider him for a moment. He’s young, maybe even younger than you, and obviously confident enough to make a move on you. Fleetingly, you think he might end up being that stupid thing you do tonight, but then you down one of the shots and decide you don't actually care. 

What turns out to be tequila burns the entire way down, and you immediately pick up a slice of lime. You’re hyperaware of the way his eyes lock onto your mouth as you suck on the sour fruit, lingering when a droplet of juice dribbles down your chin. 

It’s not a total surprise when he reaches up to thumb it away, but you are taken off guard by how strange it makes you feel. The pad of his finger is disappointingly smooth, no weathering or even a hint of a callus. You're not sure why that matters to you, but you can take a decent guess.

You chance a glance over at Joel's table and, of course, you have his full attention now. His entire body looks tense, from his hand clenched on the table to the prominent vein bulging angrily in his neck. 

Good. Now he knows how it feels.

Looking back up at your mystery guy, you run your tongue along your bottom lip, catching any remaining lime before you finally give him an answer. 

"Sure. Pop a squat, cowboy," you giggle. It doesn't even sound like you and feels wrong the second it passes your lips, but as long as Joel heard it, that's all that matters. "You got a name?"

He replies, but you're too busy keeping an eye on Joel in your peripheral to catch what he says. In the back of your mind, you think that’s probably a good thing. You'd rather not know, especially if you do end up taking him home. 

Mystery guy laughs at your noncommittal hum and you realize you’ve been caught. But he doesn’t seem upset. It’s clear he’s amused by your obvious interest elsewhere and that piques your curiosity. 

Any other guy here would’ve been pissed by your apathy, especially if they’d bothered to buy you a drink that you accepted, but apparently not this one.

He sits down on the stool next to you, pulling it close enough that his knee presses against yours. You unconsciously lean into him, your skin erupting in goosebumps despite your growing unease.

He's...baffling. A total enigma. You can’t figure out what his deal is or why he’s choosing to keep pursuing you when your eyes have been glued to another man all night. 

The thought of letting this continue long enough to find out is a little thrilling. Might as well see where this goes. If it escalates, you’re more than confident in your ability to care of yourself.

But it happens sooner than you expect. His hand finds the back of your stool and, then, his lips are suddenly right next to your cheek. You can feel the warmth of them as he tilts his head to whisper in your ear.

“Look, not try'na to overstep, but…,” his eyes dart to where Joel’s sitting, unreservedly ignoring his date. The poor thing barely notices, chattering away about something not nearly as important to him as watching you. His gaze returns to you, and you can feel him smirking. “You wanna make that guy you've been staring at all night jealous?"

That’s—wow. You didn’t see that one coming. He’s got a lot of audacity to assume that’s something you’d want, let alone offer…what? His services? 

But, then again, he isn’t wrong. Joel’s been the only thing on your mind since you walked into Seth’s tonight and saw him with her. He’s always on your mind if you’re being totally honest with yourself. It’s plain to see, obvious to every single person in this bar including the man himself.

You eye your mystery guy curiously for a second before nodding, your lips quirking into a small smirk. Maybe it’s time to prove to Joel and everyone else in this judgmental town that you’ve moved on, too. That you’re not the sad, bitter shrew that deserves to be alone.

"Yeah, actually, I do," you reply cautiously. But there's still one lingering question that has yet to be answered. "I just…why? I don’t get why you’re helping me. What are you getting out of this?”

He shrugs, and somehow you can just tell by the look in his eyes that there’s no hidden agenda. You’re not sure how you’re just noticing, but he has kind eyes. This whole time, he’s been nothing but patient and attentive, like Joel always was—...is? 

Was.

You almost wish you could fall for someone like this man instead of pathetically clinging to your past. Maybe you’ll at least get a friend out of this crazy night, if nothing else. But then you remember one, tiny problem with that idea.

“Can you tell me your name again? I promise you have my full attention this time,” you smile sheepishly. He chuckles good-naturedly and, again, doesn’t seem to hold it against you.

“It’s Jesse,” he says with a deep, southern drawl you should probably be more attracted to. “And let’s just say I know how it feels to want someone ya can’t have.”

You nod slowly, understanding perfectly. Except—you didn't realize up until this moment that that's exactly what you want. Someone you can't ever have. 

And it took seeing Joel with someone else, his body pressed up against a woman that isn't you, to realize it. Well, that fucking sucks.

You decide not to ask about Jesse's situation. It's not your business and, anyway, you're both trying to feel better about your circumstances, not worse. 

There’s a silent sense of camaraderie between you that tells you to throw caution to the wind. Tossing back the second shot, you turn your stool to face his, literally and figuratively turning your back on Joel. 

“It’s really nice to meet you, Jesse,” you murmur, and you genuinely mean it. He grins, leaning in slowly, still giving you time to back out if you want to, but you don't. 

Eat your heart out, Joel Miller. This one's for you.

"S'nice to meet you, too," he replies softly. 

Then, his lips are on yours. The kiss is wet and open-mouthed, and yet he handles you so delicately. He cradles your face in his hands as his tongue brushes against yours, and you moan softly into his mouth, letting your body get lost in the way he feels. And he feels so—

Much different than Joel. 

All you can think about is how much you miss Joel's rough touch, the way he'd thread his fingers through your hair and tug you into his mouth, nearly devouring you whole. Joel kissed you like every time might be the last, right up until it actually was. 

Fucking hell, why can't you just enjoy this without him ruining it for you?

You try to forget about it, about him, licking into Jesse's mouth a little more aggressively, and he groans, his body eager and responsive. It's probably more than you should be doing in public, sitting at a bar surrounded by people but, hell, you want them to see. 

They can say whatever they want about you. You're done giving a shit.

And, boy, will they have a lot to talk about after tonight. Joel makes sure of that. It happens so fast, you barely register that Jesse’s lips aren’t on yours anymore like they should be.

One moment, Jesse's hands are trailing down your sides to your waist, and the next, he's being forcibly dragged off you. Between you stands a broad, imposing figure ensuring you stay separated.

Your mind goes blank, and all you can do is watch in shock and disbelief as Joel lets loose on him, his words possessive and almost nonsensical. 

"The fuck you think you're doin' touchin' her like that? Y'need to learn how to keep your hands to yourself, kid, before ya get yourself in trouble," he grits out angrily. 

To his credit, Jesse stays cool and collected, but it’s not enough. There’s already a few pairs of eyes on you, drawn by the physical altercation, and it won’t be long before the rest of the bar notices the impending fight.

"Respectfully, sir, s'long as the lady consents, I'll put my hands wherever she wants," Jesse replies, standing his ground. He tries to move around him to return to your side, but Joel fixes him with a look that sends a shiver down your spine.

"S'that really a good idea?" Joel sounds menacing and looks even more so the longer the conversation continues. 

You’re still numb to everything unfolding in front of you and it’s not until Jesse’s next to you again, snaking an arm around your waist, that you finally come to. The reality of your situation hits you like a ton of bricks and now you’re mad. You open your mouth to retaliate, but Jesse cuts you off before you can get a word in.

“There a reason it wouldn’t be?” he turns the question back on Joel and you tense, anticipating a less-than-friendly answer. Jesse squeezes your hip in reassurance, but it does nothing to soothe your unease. He doesn’t know Joel like you do.

“Kid, do I look like I’m fuckin’ around? Take your hands off her and walk away. M'not gonna tell you again,” he all but growls, taking a threatening step forward. 

Neither of you back down. Jesse’s arm stays firm around you as your nails bite into your palm. It's taking everything you've got not to make a bigger scene than you already have.

You knew it. Since the breakup, you’ve been trying to reconcile this increasingly unfamiliar man with the Joel you gave your entire heart to all those years ago. With each passing month, the differences between the two become more and more obvious.

He's angrier now and has so much less patience. It's not that he's unkind. You know that no matter what his circumstances are, Joel will continue to be a good man. But he has a hair trigger, especially when it comes to you. 

And he wants. God, he always wants you. It’s not that you didn’t have an active sex life before everything fell apart. He just...fucks you differently now. Possessively and without restraint, like he needs to be sure you're satisfied enough to never need anyone else. The agreement to keep sleeping together was actually his idea. And it worked for a while—until it suddenly didn't. 

Now, you're forced to come face-to-face with that reality. Sitting at this bar, you spent the entirety of the night believing he'd decided he didn't want you anymore, that he was ready to find happiness in something simpler than sneaking around with his ex.

Except, it's starting to feel like maybe that's not as true as he made it seem. Like he never should've gone on this date in the first place.

"What the fuck, Joel?" you hiss, fighting to keep your volume under control. Not that it matters. The entire bar is staring at you, their eyes ping-ponging back and forth like they're watching a tennis match. "Back the fuck off. Now. This is none of your business."

"The hell it ain't my business. Some kid's runnin' his hands all over another man's girl and y'think that ain't my business?" 

His trembling hands clench into fists at his sides and, while you’re betting the rest of the bar thinks he’s preparing for a fight, that isn’t Joel. It might be you, though, if he keeps this up.

"Excuse me? And whose girl am I—yours? Because I'm pretty sure your girl is sitting over there in that booth. Or did you forget about your date?"

For a moment, he actually has the nerve to look ashamed, like he feels bad about leaving her all alone at their table and for humiliating her in front of all these people. He avoids her crestfallen gaze, likely not ready to face the hurt he’s caused. 

But it only lasts for a second before his eyes darken again, focused solely on you. As if Jesse, his pretty date, and everyone else in this bar disappeared, and it's just you and him. This conversation doesn't include them anymore. It's a private matter now.

"We're leavin'," he says with finality, his tone leaving no room for argument. 

He should know better. That's not how things work with you. You’re a fighter, a trait he’s always loved about you, even if your ire was directed at him. Back then, it rarely was.

"You're out of your mind if you think I'm leaving with you," you scoff bitterly. "Go back to your date, I'll go back to mine, and we can forget about this. All of it. We're done, Joel."

He shakes his head, mouth tipping down into a frown like he's thinking something over. Then, he huffs out a laugh. Like, an actual laugh, and you start to think maybe he really has lost his mind.

"Y'know, I really don't think we are, darlin'," he drawls dangerously. 

He's on you in an instant, his hand wrapped tightly around your arm as he drags you out of the bar. You briefly consider resisting, but he's moving too quickly. All of those shots you downed combined with the beer you drank earlier go straight to your head, and you're suddenly overwhelmingly distracted by the feeling of his skin on yours.

Fuck, it feels like it's been so long. In reality, you know it's only been a few weeks but, god, you missed it. His hands on your body, anywhere at all on your body. You'd hate how quickly you forget about Jesse if you could think about anything else but those familiar, rough fingertips.

The way they dig into you, reminiscent of how he'd squeeze your thighs or clutch your waist when he was making love to you.

...Wait, what? No...no, fuck. Why is he making this so difficult? Why—Christ...why can't you just leave each other alone? If he never planned on letting you go, he shouldn't have broken up with you. And if he still wanted you this badly...all he had to do was ask. You would've said yes in a heartbeat.

So, you let him steal you away, out into the brisk, wintry air that does little to cool your fury or the heat beginning to coil in your belly. The door shuts noisily behind you, and you immediately wrench your arm out of his grasp before he can say a word. It's your turn to talk now.

"What is wrong with you? You can't just...fuck, you can't do shit like this!" You're seething, practically shaking in your rage, and his expression doesn't look much different. 

"And you can? I dunno what the hell you were thinkin' gettin’ cozy with some goddamn kid, lettin’ him touch ya like that in front of the whole town," he reiterates harshly. He's starting to sound like a broken record. It's the only leverage he's got, and you both know it's flimsy at best.

"Some kid? Jesse's a fucking adult, clearly more mature than you," you bite back. "And it’s a bar, Joel. That's what people do at bars."

Joel scoffs, and you can tell he hates the way Jesse's name falls from your lips. Especially when those lips were on yours not even ten minutes ago. 

"And who are you to decide who can and can't touch me? You broke up with me," you continue resentfully. "You don't get a say anymore."

At that, his face becomes unreadable. He didn't need the reminder, and you know that, but it needed to be said for both of your sakes. Sometimes you think maybe he actually forgets it was his choice to give you up. That he didn't realize his decision would hurt you as much as it hurt him.

"So, what? You gonna take him home then, let him fuck ya?" He leans in close, so close you can feel his soft, graying curls against your temple and the coarse drag of his beard across your cheek. 

"Kiss ya here—," a finger trails delicately down the side of your neck to his spot above your collarbone, then continues down to where you've been aching for him for weeks, "—taste ya here." 

You slap his hand away before he can get any further, but your reaction only spurs him on. How could you forget? He likes that.

"Y'know he can't make ya feel as good as I do. Fuck you just how y'like it, make ya cum as hard as I do," he drawls confidently, almost smugly, in your ear. "Don't ya?"

It's less a question than a statement, because you both know he's right. Joel knows your body better than anyone ever has, maybe even better than you know it yourself. Just as much as you know his. And it's sort of funny. You were thinking the exact same thing about him with his date earlier.

"Sure, Joel. Just like you were gonna take that girl home, right?" You raise an eyebrow, turning your head so your lips graze his skin. "Pretty little thing like her, I bet she likes it slow and romantic. She’ll probably even stick around for a snuggle and some pillow talk. You'd love that.”

Even as you mock him, the sneer marring your face doesn’t quite meet your eyes, and the spiteful nature of your words tastes acrid as they pass your lips. He’s so good at that. Always able to bring out the worst in you to prove his point—that he’s no good for you.

But you stand firm, your chest pressed flush against his in a show of determination. You're still in control here, unlike Joel, whose fingers are twitching noticeably at his sides like he's just itching to get his hands on you again. 

"Maybe I would. Liked it with you, didn't I?" he murmurs wistfully, and that catches you completely off guard.

His words are almost too gentle to belong in this argument, and it doesn’t feel fair. What's worse, he looks like he means them. You’d prefer the fight, the aggression of the man who dragged you out of the bar. Not this. Not these traces of your Joel. 

You can already feel your resolve slipping, and the rapid thrum of your heartbeat tells you to let it. When his hands finally take their rightful place on your waist, he’s in control again.

The cool evening air is suddenly stifling, and you’re starting to feel like you’re suffocating, your thoughts a jumbled, heated haze of anger and fear and want. He squeezes hard enough to pull your hips into his and you unintentionally buck, allowing his hands to travel up your shirt. 

There's an intensity to his gaze, tinged with an unexpected tenderness. He almost looks...sated. Fulfilled, now that you're back in his arms. But not completely, not yet.

"You still haven't answered my question," he mutters. His hands splay across your ribcage, high enough for his thumbs to tease the undersides of your breasts.

You bite down hard on your bottom lip, sliding your hands up his chest to push him away so you can catch your breath, but your body won't cooperate. It's been well-trained to crave his touch. Exhaling sharply through your nose, you fist his shirt and instead pull him impossibly closer.

"You asked a lot of questions tonight. You're gonna have to be a little more specific,” you pant heavily.

It's getting more difficult to think, now, with the warmth of his body against you, his thumbs shifting higher to stroke your stiffening nipples. He urges your hips forward again to meet his, and you can already feel him straining in his jeans.

You whimper helplessly, unable to curb the way your body's reacting to him, and the soft sound causes something in him to snap. He suddenly backs you up against the hard brick of the bar's exterior and begins to grind languidly into your stomach. 

"Y'really believe that boy can take care of a woman like you? Hm?" He interrogates you, his voice gravelly and uneven in your ear. "Tell me I'm the only one who can give you what ya need. Wanna hear ya say it."

Fuck, you can't lie to him. As much as you want to, it's just one more thing your body won't allow you to do. Not when he's working you up like this. 

"You're the only one," you moan around your admission. He's still crowding you into the wall, his hands greedily roaming your soft curves.

His eyes meet yours, darting quickly to your mouth before he leans in to kiss you passionately like he’s rewarding you. It only lasts for a second, one deliciously fleeting second, before he pulls away. You’re not sure why you let him. Or why you kissed back.

"Who's the only man who can make ya scream?" he demands a little more urgently.

"You, Joel,” you murmur obediently, your lips already parted and ready for your prize.

And he acquiesces—another insistent kiss that doesn’t last nearly long enough. This time, you chase him, but he jerks his head back. He still has one last question for you. Except, this time, he looks afraid of the answer. 

"Whose girl are ya?"

He whispers it so softly, you barely catch it over the whistling, nighttime breeze. As he brushes a few ruffled strands of hair behind your ear, you answer without hesitation. 

"Yours, Joel."

His entire body relaxes. Now, he's complete.

"Damn right, you are—"

Then, the front door bursts open next to you, and he's abruptly cut off. Joel is quick to tug you around the corner into the alleyway before anyone can spot you, but he's not fast enough to keep you from seeing who just left the bar.

Jesse.

And there it is. A shock to the system, enough to clear some of that smoky, nostalgic haze and bring you back to the present. But as everything hurtles back for the second time tonight, this time around, you can’t be mad because he’s right.

Of course, you're not Jesse's girl. As pathetic as it sounds, you'll always be Joel's because he’s the only one who can take care of you and give you what need. The only man who can make you scream. But that goes both ways.

Even though he’s been picking fights all night, he hasn’t raised his voice once. It's not the way he wins his battles. So, maybe it's time to remind Joel Miller that there is someone who can make him scream. But he isn't allowed to unless you say so.

It all feels eerily familiar—his fingers digging into your waist and your lips crashing into his hard enough to bruise. You lead him deeper into the alley, back to where the glow of the string lights above the bar can't reach you, before you separate from him. 

Neither of you wants to be the one to say it, but it needs to be heard. Here, in the dark, you can be his completely, but once you part ways and return to your empty beds, that's it. Just like last time. The reasons for your breakup are still very real, and that means your relationship can't be.

"Only here. Right, Joel?"   

He stays silent for a moment, his gaze filled with deep longing and sadness. It almost makes you want to take it back. Take him back. So, when he shakes his head and cups your cheeks, kissing you like this might be his last chance, you're not surprised in the slightest.

And after this whole night—this whole confusing, fucked-up night—you let him. Right now, he needs this. Maybe you do, too.

His lips taste like whiskey and relief, and you return his kiss with all of the passion and fervor he’s pouring into you. You’re both a little frantic in the way you touch each other, but as much as you don’t want it to, it makes perfect sense. 

Those few weeks without each other felt like years, and now that his hands are back on your body and his voice, deep and dulcet, is in your ear telling you how badly he wants you, you don’t want to let him go again.

You grind the heel of your hand into the front of his jeans and his responding groan pleases you more than it probably should. This. This is yours—his pleasure, his attention, him. They belong to you and you alone. Not his pretty, perky fucking date. 

The sudden possessiveness stuns you for a moment, but it's not enough to stop the feeling from consuming you. This must be how it feels for Joel. It's potent and feels so, so…right. You're starting to think you've felt this way for a while.

"I needed you, and you made me wait so fucking long," you gasp against his lips, and the fingers cradling your face tense. You’re still fisting his shirt, nearly hard enough to tear, and you wrench it up from where it’s tucked into his pants. 

"M'sorry, darlin', I know. I know I did,” he rasps back, following your lead and dropping his hands from your cheeks so he can unbuckle his jeans. “M'gonna make it up to ya. Tell me what you want, I’ll give it to ya.”

You want everything. Everything he has to give, you want it all. After everything you've been through, the hurt he caused you, you deserve it. And right now, what you want is for him to feel so good, he'll never go on a date with someone who isn't you ever again.

Sharp gravel bites into your bare skin as you drop to your knees in front of him. He's already so hard under all that heavy fabric and looks desperate above you. Just as desperate as you are for him to replace the flavor of Jesse's tequila and lime on your tongue with something saltier and headier, and undeniably Joel.

You hastily unbutton and unzip his jeans, not wasting any more of the precious time you have left together, before tugging them down just enough to free his cock and balls. He looks...fucking mouth-watering—flushed and red and leaking, and so goddamn thick. You wrap your hand around him and he sighs gratefully, dribbling precum onto your fingers.

"This is what I want," you finally reply, keeping your eyes locked on his as you lean forward to lick a broad line up his cock. He hisses in a breath through his teeth, his thighs already beginning to tremble, and you brace your hand on one. "But you're gonna be quiet, okay? I'm gonna suck your cock and you're not gonna make a single sound."

His expression darkens, but he agrees to your terms, nonetheless.

"Sure, darlin'. Whatever you say," he nods, gazing down at you with furrowed brows. He cradles your face in his hand and brushes his thumb along your cheekbone.

The affectionate gesture isn't lost on you, but this time you accept it. Instinctively leaning into his touch, you revel in it for a brief moment before his cock pulsing a frantic rhythm against your palm becomes an unignorable distraction. But a welcome one.

"That's my boy," you mumble against the tip. Just as a pained noise escapes his parted lips, you swallow him down as far as you can take him, purposely gagging yourself on him before you can dwell on the words that accidentally just tumbled out.

Your boy. Your boy. It echoes in your mind, ricocheting wildly and painfully like a bullet. Before you can take it back, maybe even to keep you from taking it back, he buries his fingers in your hair and holds you in place. You choke around him, trying your best to breathe through your nose, but in doing so, you take in a lungful of the heady musk at his base.

The familiarity of it all sends you reeling. He only gives you a second to adjust before he's fucking into your mouth and biting back a litany of needy sounds that rival your own wet, audible gagging. Your grip on his thigh tightens as your throat relaxes, allowing you to take him deeper, and you can feel yourself clenching around nothing every time he grazes the back of your throat. 

Tears stream down your cheeks and he wipes them away with a much too tender swipe of his thumb, even as he continues to force you up and down his cock. But you're too lost in your pleasure to notice anymore. So fucking good, you feel so, so good. But you need more, and you're not willing to pull off of him just yet.

Tugging down the front of your shirt, you roll a sensitive nipple between your fingers, and, god, that helps. You imagine they're Joel's and it amplifies the sensation, though your fingertips are still too smooth and delicate. Then, they're replaced by exactly what you've been yearning for all night. 

“You don’t even know how beautiful y'look like this,” he grits out, his fingers running through your hair with one hand and roughly cupping your breast with the other. His hips stutter, and you moan around him. “Fuckin’ perfect. How are ya so fuckin’ perfect?”

Beautiful. More beautiful than her? Well, you must be, because you’re the one here on your knees, choking on his cock, and she’s still sitting in the bar wondering if her date will ever come back. 

He won’t.

You preen without meaning to, your eyes blearily finding his while you drool around him, dripping saliva down his balls and onto your bare breasts. It's as if the visual alone has him thrusting into your mouth faster, pushing your limits only as much as he knows you can take. You must look like a wet dream right now, his wet dream, with your watery eyes and swollen, split-slick lips wrapped tightly around him.

Yet, he's remained so, so quiet this entire time, just like you told him to. Joel likes his sex loud, regardless of where you are and who might hear, so if he’s following your rules, that means something. 

It means he'll do whatever it takes to have you. The realization crashes over you like a bucket of ice water, and then you're pulling off of him. 

“You’ll give me anything, right? Anything I want?” your voice cracks around the question, wrecked from the effort of taking him. His hips chase your hand as you continue to pump him, matching his previous, unforgiving pace. 

“That ain’t a question, y’know I will,” he replies breathily and without hesitation. 

You gaze up at him, praying your eyes convey all of the need and anguish and hope you've felt since the last time you slept together. Since the last time you were his.

“Fuck me," and you won't accept anything less than his all. Not that half-assed shit he would've given her. "Fuck me."

He understands. His heart rate kicks up, thrumming wildly against the palm of your hand, and you know he does.

The growl that rumbles through his chest is nearly soundless but powerful. An entire night's worth of tension culminating in a single exhaled breath, just before he drags you up and spins you around, bending you over against the wall. 

Bracing yourself on the harsh brick, you rush to give him better access, arching your back as he tugs your pants and underwear down to your knees. A callused hand runs upward, following the notches of your spine, while his other spreads across your waist, pulling your hips back onto his so you can feel him, heavy and leaking against your bare ass.

God, he’s so close to where you need him now. His knuckles graze your skin as he grips the base, pumping himself before the blunt head of his cock nudges your entrance.

But then, for some godforsaken reason, you feel a wave of panic. Time suddenly feels like it's running out, worsening with every subtle movement he makes. The ticking clock of your and Joel's relationship, perpetually stuck at two minutes to midnight, has sprung to life and that terrifies you.

You don't want him to stop—fuck, you don't want him to stop, but you know neither of you will last long once he's inside you. The build-up was too intense and this entire night has you both wound up so tight, you could snap at any moment. 

You need to savor this. The way you failed to on your couch all those weeks ago, and might not get to ever again.

“Slow,” you tell him over your shoulder, and it's equal parts a command and a plea. If this is the last time, then you want to feel it. Every thick inch of him, while he still belongs to you. “Just…go slow.”

He nods, shifting forward almost imperceptibly so he can watch your lashes flutter as you brace for the stretch.

"Don't need’ta tell me. I know how ya like it," he replies gruffly.

He does. For now, you won’t overthink it or let yourself get lost in the nostalgia of his cock nestled inside you. You’ll just enjoy it. Sex with Joel has always been mind-blowing, and here, in a dirty alleyway, pressed up against the exterior of a bar, you bet it’ll be life-changing.

It stings like it always does when he breaches your entrance, no matter how wet you are for him. Together, you hiss in a sharp breath, mutually adjusting to the overwhelming stretch that quickly ebbs into something addictive.

"Tight as all goddamn hell," he mutters to himself, rocking into you languidly. He takes his time, relishing your walls enveloping him, mesmerized by the way you suck him in until he's buried to the hilt. 

"Would'ja look at that," he continues in awe, tracing where his cock is forcing you to yield to him. "Greedy fuckin' pussy, ain't she? M'not goin' anywhere, don't'chu worry. Gonna take care of ya...make ya feel so fuckin' good..."

He's starting to babble. Not good. Not good at all. 

Broad hands grip your ass, pulling your cheeks apart so he can see how tightly you’re gripping him, and it's too much. His hips buck, startling a pained whine out of you as he rams into that spot. The one deep inside you he can only reach when he’s fucking you from behind. Your cunt clenches, fighting to keep him there, and he growls low in his throat, hungry and territorial like a wild animal.

"There it is," he nudges it again, purposefully this time. You barely manage to bite back a sob as you gush messily around him. "Christ, honey, y'sure ya still want it slow? 'Cus it sure don't sound like it."

He's patronizing you. He knows exactly what he's doing—that's his spot. He also knows it makes you loud as fuck. But he wouldn’t. There’s no way he’d go back on his word, not after he promised he’d be discreet.

"Joel. Don't," you warn him shakily, but you're already too far gone to be intimidating. 

He pulls out until just the tip is still inside you, huffing out a distinctly calculated breath.

"Don't what? Don't make ya cum nice and loud on my cock? 'Fraid I can't do that, darlin'."

That's all the warning you get before he slams in hard. Your jaw drops, and you're positive you couldn't have stopped the wail punched out of your chest even if you'd tried.

Wrong. You’re wrong again, and you should’ve known better. It’s not the first time he’s gone back on his word, remember? Joel’s shitty lack of communication is why you’re here in the first place. Sure, he agreed to be quiet, but he never said anything about you.

He establishes a brutal pace that has you scrabbling against the wall for purchase and slapping a hand over your mouth in a futile attempt to muffle the desperate cries being forced from your body.

Please, don’t be outside. Please, please, Jesse. Don’t still be outside. 

But your luck's officially run out. 

Heavy mahogany crashes into solid brick, echoing down the alleyway, and a raucous group of people spills out onto the street, barely 30 feet from where your ass and tits are out for anyone to see. Then, the deep baritone of Jesse's voice cuts through the rest, and your blood immediately turns to ice. 

You're fucked. You're about to get caught and expose your secret to the entire town, except...Joel isn't stopping. Fuck, he's—

Yanking your entire body up and ripping your hand away from your mouth, rutting into you like he was just waiting for an audience. He snakes a hand up your stomach to palm at your chest, squeezing firmly to anchor himself as he fucks up into you with all the force he can muster.

And it turns you on so much, you finally stop caring. Fuck it. Fuck this town. Fuck everyone in that bar who made you feel like a goddamn pariah for months, crucifying you for the unforgivable sin of getting your heart broken. 

You hope his date's standing out there, too, so she can hear everything she'll never get to have. So they can all see that Joel Miller isn't the crushed, cruelly dumped old man they all thought he was.

Your moans ring out, loud and high-pitched, all but drowning out the messy slap of his hips into the drenched curve of your ass.

"That's it, darlin', let it all out," he chuckles darkly against the shell of your ear. Your next moan tapers into a drawn-out keen that he mimics, his thrusts getting shallow and sloppy. "S'for me, right? Let 'em know you're makin' all those pretty noises just for me."

Christ, you're close. And he's as close as you are, you can feel it. You turn your head, nodding jerkily into his shoulder.

"S'for you, Joel—mmph, just for you. Only for you," your words slur as he continues to bounce you on his cock. 

"Tell 'em you're mine, darlin’. Not just here," he pants raggedly, desperation coating his words. "Everywhere. You're mine everywhere."

The voices are getting closer, about to pass the mouth of the alley, and the ice in your veins quickly thaws, turning to molten lava. They'll definitely be able to able to hear you, but can they see you? For the umpteenth time tonight, you decide you really don't give a shit. You've got none left. You and Joel, that's all that matters now. 

His hand drops between your legs, thick fingers swirling tight, slick circles into your clit while he waits for you to confirm what he already knows. You've said it again and again—weeks ago, wrapped up in his arms, and earlier tonight, after the worst argument you've had since the breakup. 

And you’ll tell him again in this alley as you cum blindingly hard around his cock. Third time's the charm.

"Y-yours, Joel. I'm always yours."

His hips completely lose their rhythm, and he barely has time to breathe out his contentment before the violent convulsing of your cunt and contrasting serenity of your words send him hurtling over the edge.

"That's my girl."

He crashes his lips into yours, swallowing every noise you make as the group finally comes into view. Their drunken chattering and roughhousing aren't enough to draw your attention away from each other, but the depraved sounds of Joel continuing to fuck you through your release captures theirs almost immediately.

A few of them stop to squint into the darkness, trying their best to pinpoint what everyone already knows is happening further down the alley. As they inch closer, they can just barely make out two connected figures, and the wind carrying muffled gasps and labored breathing with it into the street all but confirms it.

"Y'all seein' this?" they whisper amongst themselves, but in the inebriated state they're in, they might as well be yelling.

And that's what pulls you and Joel back to reality. Shit. Shit. So, this is it, then. You tense in Joel's arms, waiting to get called out as the slutty girl who seduced her ex away from his date. Hell, they're not even wrong. You can feel his cum dribbling out of you, and can't help but think maybe you'd deserve it.

From where you're standing, you recognize each and every one of their faces under the string lights, and you know damn well that none of them can keep their mouths shut. Except...wait a second. They're still glancing back and forth between you and Joel in the shadows and each other. 

Oh. The fucking shadows. None of them can see shit. They have no clue who the hell they're looking at. Joel must've caught on around the same time you did, because now he's backing up, putting more distance between you and the looming crowd. Before they can get any closer, one of the younger guys cuts in front to block their path.

“C’mon, it's probably a couple’a teenagers. Just let ‘em be," he drawls, glancing back at you. Your eyes lock, and you're suddenly so grateful, you could cry. It's Jesse. He shoots you a wink before turning back to the group, shaking his head in mock admonishment. "Don't act like y'all weren't doin' the same damn thing at their age."

By some miracle, it fucking works. They all laugh in agreement, appeased by Jesse's quick thinking. One by one, they follow each other out of the alley and back onto the road to continue their original path home. Jesse lingers. 

"Glad y'all figured things out," he calls out over his shoulder, giving you privacy to tug your shirt back up. He clears his throat awkwardly before continuing, "Look, I, uh...distracted as many people as I could from comin' over here, but if y'all were gonna be that loud, maybe you should'a figured things out at home."

Jesse shakes his head again, chuckling to himself as he shoves his hands into his pockets.

"Anyway, y'all have a good night, now. Get home safe."

As he jogs away to catch up with the rest of the group, you start to laugh, too. You can’t help it. It feels cathartic, relieving some of the tension of this overly eventful night.

Joel’s body begins to shake behind you, his chest rumbling with what you realize is deep-bellied laughter. It gradually increases in volume as it melds seamlessly with yours; transitory, white clouds of condensation that intertwine, then dissipate.

You feel him slip out as he starts to soften, and then he turns you to face him, carefully crowding you into the wall. He kisses you again, this time slow and deliberate like you asked him to earlier. His tongue meets yours, gasps exchanged and treasured like you have all the time in the world. 

When he parts from you, it feels reluctant, but he stays close, whispering his next words against your lips.

��M’gonna get ya cleaned up, alright?” he mumbles, dropping his arm from around your waist to run his fingers up the cum leaking down your thighs. You shiver as they continue up, slipping his release back inside you. “Don’t…,” he continues, squeezing his eyes shut as his forehead drops to yours, “…just—don’t go anywhere. Please. I’ll be right back.”

Maybe he’s trying to protect himself from the response he anticipates you’ll give him, but that seems silly after everything you’ve been through tonight. You cup his cheek and thumb the coarse, trimmed hairs of his beard, willing him to open his eyes. He does, hesitantly, one then the other, and you offer him a soft smile.

“I’m not going anywhere, Joel.”

An intoxicating breath fans across your face, and the taut muscles in his neck and shoulders loosen. His lips match the soft quirk of your own and, then, brush fleetingly against your cheekbone as he backs away and disappears through a metal side door you didn't notice before. The moment it clicks shut, you slump against the wall. 

Christ. Your mind is simultaneously blank and racing a mile a minute. Taking a deep breath, you let your head thunk into solid, grounding brick while you wait for even a single coherent thought to take root. What now? What happens next? 

There's no coming back from tonight. You both made choices you'll have to answer for, but, for some reason, that doesn't seem so scary anymore. The clock is ticking, but there's time. Plenty of it.

You're still lost in your reverie when Joel gets back with a thick wad of damp paper towels. You snort at the idea of him suddenly appearing in Seth's kitchen and having to explain himself, but maybe the racket you kicked up right outside his door was explanation enough.

"Seth didn't give you any shit for stealing his stuff?" you ask as Joel drops to his knees and coaxes one of your legs over his shoulder.

The cold air has already started to leach the warmth from the paper towels, and they feel cool as he slides them along your soiled skin. He huffs out a laugh.

"Nah, the kitchen was empty. Think they're startin' to close up for the night." 

When he finishes your first thigh, he surprises you by leaning in to press a soft kiss against your freshly cleaned skin. He nips at you teasingly before starting on the next one.

You hum in response, threading your fingers through his hair and watching fondly as he pays careful attention to his task. He continues to wipe away his drying release, trailing his lips down your thigh as he goes, until he finishes at your knee.

He gazes up at you with a charmingly crooked grin, and that’s when it finally slips out. The single coherent thought you’ve been waiting for.

“I love you, Joel,” you murmur, brushing your fingertips across his cheek. 

His smile falters. Then, it drops completely and your heart shatters. You don’t understand. But that—no. No, it doesn’t make any fucking sense. After everything that’s happened, how could you have been wrong again?

Joel sighs, grimacing as he slowly gets back up. He braces himself on one knee, clearly aching more than he's letting on, but when you reach down to offer him a hand, he refuses your help.

“S’fine, I got it. Just…,” he gestures to your jeans, still hanging loosely around your knees. You pull them up, fighting not to feel humiliated as he rises to his full height. 

You search his eyes for…something. Anything. Any indication of what he’s feeling right now, but they’re blank. Cold and distant, just like they were the night he left you. 

No. He doesn’t get to do this to you again. Not after everything you’ve been through. Not without an explanation. Not if he doesn’t want to lose you forever.

“Tell me why you broke up with me."

For a long time, you genuinely believed you could live without knowing the truth, but somewhere along the line, it began to eat away at you. Now, you want the real reason. He owes you that, at the very least.

You wait while he either works himself up to it or tries to figure out what bullshit to tell you this time. Once his hands settle on his hips, you know with absolute certainty it's the latter.

“Darlin’…,” he starts wearily, but you shoot him a look that stops him in his tracks. He doesn't get to call you that right now, and he knows it. Pausing, he nods grimly before beginning again. "We already talked about this. I’m no good for ya. It was only a matter of time before ya woke up one day and realized it for yourself.”

There it is. That same bullshit reason. You scoff bitterly, not surprised in the slightest.

“What the fuck does that even mean, Joel? We were together for years. If that was gonna happen, don’t you think it would’ve already?" you counter angrily. 

You're trying not to get emotional. This can't be a repeat of what happened last time, but it's dragging up too many painful memories. It's always the same fight. You can't do this anymore.

"You know what? Fuck you," you seethe as your self-control slips completely. "Fuck you for making that decision for me. You had no right."

At your words, his face crumples and he has the nerve to look ashamed. Maybe even a little hurt. His pained expression makes your heart ache, yet a nastier part of you believes it's only fair that he feels this way, too. He sighs, his eyes dropping wistfully to his feet.

“I did what I thought was best," he mumbles quietly as if he doesn't want to be heard. It's hard for him to say this out loud, and you realize it's because he's finally telling you the truth. "I just…I thought you’d be happier with someone else, someone who could give ya a family. Kids. I gave you up so you could have the life ya always wanted."

You eye him incredulously. The life you always wanted? Sure, you and Joel had toyed with the idea of having a family once upon a time, but that was never a dealbreaker. He should've known that. He should've brought it up before deciding to destroy your life together over an idealized fantasy.

“Oh, here we go. Joel, the fucking savior. Mr. Fix-It, swooping in to save everyone and solve every problem," you hurl back venomously. But it was a cruel thing to say, and you immediately hate yourself for it.

Rationally, you know his intentions were kind. He probably even thought he was being selfless. But he hurt you, and, through your tunnel vision, that's all you can see. You push yourself off the wall, stalking closer to where he stands, still refusing to look at you.

"So what, you thought you’d dump me and I’d immediately shack up with some other asshole? Is that really what you think of me?”

His eyes shoot up to yours and his fingers begin to tap restlessly at his sides. Now, you've pissed him off. 

“Don't go puttin’ words in my mouth. That ain’t true and you fuckin’ know it," he all but growls, his body shaking with a turbulent combination of frustration and adrenaline.

You're starting to feel it, too. This conversation is overwhelming both of you, but he still hasn't told you everything. There's a piece missing, keeping all of his disjointed reasonings from adding up. He's holding back and it's time for him to stop.

“Then what is, Joel?" you plead with him to give you a definitive answer. One that finally explains why you had to lose everything. Ellie, your home. The love of your life. "What’s the truth?"

Then, everything he's kept bottled up inside and allowed to poison his happiness claws its way out as a single, unwavering statement. 

“I’m too fuckin’ old for you!”

The silence that follows his admission is deafening. You watch in shock as he runs a hand through his hair in frustration. He's never yelled like that before or looked so defeated. By something as innocuous as his age. 

It isn't something you'd ever considered, not before your relationship and never once during. But he did. His bottom lip starts to tremble as he turns and takes a few steps away from you.

“Every day, I’d watch ya…offerin’ to take more shifts, spendin’ time at the school with Ellie and the kids," he says softly, shaking his head as he works through his next words. "And every day, I’d feel it. My body givin’ out on me, more and more. My blood pressure’s up, my goddamn knees are creakin’. Couldn’t even fuckin’ stand up on my own just now." 

When he turns back to you, his eyes are wet with unshed tears. He feels too far, but you know you can't go to him, yet. He's not finished.

"You can do better than that. You deserve better than that," his voice cracks and your whole world blurs into a wash of colors. “You’re gonna outlive me by a mile. I’m an old man, darlin’. It wasn’t fair for me to keep ya.”

For a while, you just watch each other. Tears overflow and continuously spill down his cheeks and yours, but neither of you moves to wipe them away. 

None of this is fair. You're both miserable and heartbroken, perpetually yearning for a love you've told yourselves you can't have. Months ago, Joel made a choice for both of you. You won't make the same mistake he did.

"I didn't want fair, Joel. I wanted you. A life with you...," your face screws up as you fight back a sob, "...the rest of my life with you, however long that is."

Joel takes a tentative step forward, carefully reaching out to touch you, but stops himself before he can get too close. He looks afraid...of you. Scared of the consequences of allowing you back into his heart. 

A sob escapes your chest, then, and you wrap your arms around yourself, suddenly bitterly cold and wanting nothing more than for Joel to hold you. To tell you for the first time since the breakup that he loves you and, regardless of time, won't ever stop.

So, you cross the alleyway and cup his wet cheeks in your hands, wiping away his sadness and, hopefully, his fears. He melts into the poignant familiarity of your touch and it makes you brave. This time, you'll be brave enough for both of you.

"Don't I deserve that?" you whisper, close enough to share his next breath. He watches your lips, hanging onto your every word. "Don't you?" 

His eyes meet yours, and it finally happens. The moment Joel gives in and decides to let himself be happy. He nods slowly in your grasp, reaching up to cradle your hand on his cheek. 

"Dunno what I deserve, darlin'. Not after the things I've done and the hurt I put ya through. But if I'm...if this is really what ya want...," he hesitates, his voice thick with tears and, yet, still that full-bodied, twang that sounds like home. "I'm yours. 'Til my last breath, I'm yours."

He kisses you before either of you can start crying again, and it's all there. The love he kept under lock and key to protect you, released from the prison of his own making.

His kiss feels different again. There's no hunger or rush, and the possessiveness—the need to devour everything you have to give so there's nothing left for anyone else—is gone. He's sure, now, that there's no one else you'd rather give yourself to.

His arms circle your waist and he pulls you closer, crushing you into time-worn chambray and sullied denim as you continue to explore each other like a pair of horny teenagers. Two lovers learning to give and take for the first time. Time passes slowly in this space you've carved out for yourselves, even as the moon continues to rise in the night sky and floods the corridor with light. 

Then, noisily and as if right on cue, the last-call crowd stumbles from the bar and immediately catches what the previous group missed. You and Joel separate, dazed but unhurried, to find that it's them. 

It has to be fucking kismet that, of everyone in Jackson, the first to witness your reconciliation would be the biggest blabbermouths in the entire town. The same women who talked shit about you every day for months and constantly vied for Joel's attention, standing there with wide eyes and slack jaws.

Their varied expressions almost make you want to laugh, and you can't help but snort unattractively into Joel's shoulder. Half of them are glaring at you, and the rest look either devastated or genuinely surprised. Guess you were better at hiding your arrangement than you thought, not that it matters anymore. It's a relationship again, and everyone's about to know all about it. Joel clears his throat, drawing their attention back to him.

"Evenin', ladies. S'there somethin' we can help ya with?" he drawls, breaking out the Southern charm that endeared every single one of them to him in the first place.

They all shake their heads, looking a little too pleased with themselves once the initial shock wears off and they realize you've just given them the gossip of the century. After a few fake, high-pitched pleasantries, they slink away as quickly as they came, already chatting to themselves about some shit you'll definitely hear tomorrow at breakfast. You watch them go, feeling oddly liberated.

"Guess the cat's outta the bag, huh?" You wrap your arms loosely around his neck, still chuckling softly to yourself. Joel huffs out a laugh, too, bending down to kiss the crown of your head before nodding in agreement.

"'Fraid so," he muses, amusement and a hint of something lighter glinting in his eyes. 

You haven't seen him this relaxed in a long time. As he holds you in his arms, he leans a fraction of his weight on you to ease the night's strain on his back and knees, and it makes you feel needed. Relied on. That's new, Joel depending on you like this. Things are going to be different this time around, you can tell. They already are. 

You hum, ruminating on what awaits you after your first night back in your own bed, in your own home. What everyone will think and say—to your face and behind your back—when they find out you're back together. Though, the only opinions you give a shit about are Ellie, Tommy, and Maria's, anyway.

So, yeah, you're a lot of things right now: exhausted, yet relieved and so full of hope. But you're not afraid, the cat and the bag be damned.

"I'm not," you tell him honestly as you pull away. You let your hands trail from his shoulders, down his arms, until his hands are in yours. 

Tugging gently, you walk him backward out of the alley, away from the bar and plummeting winter chill, and any lingering, prying eyes. Even the moon and stars have no stake in what comes next. This moment, right here and now, belongs to you and Joel, alone.

"Take me home, Joel."

The light in his eyes burns brighter, amusement giving way to adoration and contentment. He's been waiting for this, to be given the privilege of keeping you safe and taking care of you the way he needs to—it's how he shows love. 

He slots his fingers between yours and leads you down the empty streets of Jackson. 

"Darlin', nothin' would make me happier."

thanks for reading!

[byechristopher]

hellooo can you write a fic where reader and chris have a pregnancy scare?

what could be.

Author's note: thank you for the request, and sorry for being so late, pft. I hope you like it anon, here is an angsty/fluffy fic with Chris. Him and babies make me giddy fr. Don't copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: uhm, none. But y'all.. use protection always. Didn't proofread!

⠀

It started with a simple sentence, one that hung in the air like a grenade waiting to go off.

"My period’s a week late."

Chris froze, his fork halfway to his mouth. The casual dinner we were having, sitting on the couch like we always did, suddenly felt like something fragile, ready to shatter. His face went pale as he put his fork down, staring at me like he hadn’t quite understood what I’d just said.

"What?" His voice was flat, cold.

I shifted uncomfortably, already regretting saying anything. "I’m late, Chris. A week late."

He sat back, his eyes narrowing as if he could will this entire conversation out of existence. "Are you serious?"

I nodded. "I thought it was just stress at first, but…"

"Jesus Christ," he muttered, running a hand through his hair, the frustration already palpable. "How could this happen?"

The way he said it — like it was some personal failure, like this was my fault, made my blood run cold.

"Uhm, now I don't mean to break it to you.." I snapped, my voice rising defensively, "but we were both there, remember?"

"Yeah, well, you’re the one who keeps track of this stuff, right? Shouldn’t you have known?" His voice was sharp, accusatory, and it stung.

I stood up from the couch, the tension in my body rising like a tidal wave, "what the actual fuck are you even saying? You think I want this to be happening? You think this is something I wanted to deal with right now?"

Chris got up too, pacing in the small living room, his hands clenched at his sides, "no, I don’t know what the hell you want! All I know is, we’re not ready for this. We can’t be dealing with a fucking baby right now."

I felt the familiar lump forming in my throat, but I swallowed it down, refusing to let him see how much his words hurt. "Chris, we’re in this together, okay? Why are you acting like I did something wrong?"

"Because this is—" He stopped, running his hands over his face. "This changes everything, okay? Everything we’ve been working for. All our plans, all our.. us!"

"What, and a baby ruins all that?" I cut him off, my voice shaking with anger. "Is that what you think? That this would ruin everything?"

He didn’t answer right away, and the silence that followed was louder than any argument we’d ever had. He just stood there, staring at the floor, and I couldn’t tell if he was thinking or trying to come up with a way to end this conversation without making it worse.

Finally, he spoke, his voice low. "Yeah. I think it would."

I blinked, feeling like I’d been slapped. I could feel my heart racing, the adrenaline pushing through me, making me feel sick. "Wow," I whispered, stepping back like I needed space from him, like I couldn’t stand being near him right now. "That’s really how you fucking feel?"

He looked up, his face tight with frustration. "We’re not ready for this. You know that. You’ve got your career just starting to take off, I’m still figuring things out. It’s not the right time."

"You don’t get to decide that for both of us," I shot back, my voice cracking under the weight of the argument. "This is happening, whether you like it or not. What are you going to do if I am pregnant? Walk away?"

Chris’s eyes flashed with something—maybe guilt, maybe regret, I couldn’t tell. "I’m not walking away," he said through gritted teeth, "but I’m not going to pretend like I’m okay with this either."

I didn’t say anything else. I couldn’t. The hurt and anger tangled up inside me was too much, and if I opened my mouth again, I didn’t trust what would come out. Instead, I turned and walked out of the room, leaving him standing there, his silence chasing me as I went.

For the next day and a half, we barely spoke. Every interaction was charged, electric with the weight of what had been said and left unsaid. He slept on the couch that night, and I didn’t bother asking him to come back to bed. I wasn’t sure I wanted him there.

The test sat on the bathroom counter, waiting for me, taunting me with the unknown. I couldn’t bring myself to take it, not when things between us felt so raw, so fragile. But after another restless night of tossing and turning, I couldn’t take the uncertainty anymore. I had to know.

When I walked into the living room that morning, Chris was sitting on the couch, staring blankly at his phone. He looked up when I entered, and for a second, there was something in his eyes—regret, maybe. Or guilt. I couldn’t tell.

"I’m taking the test," I said, my voice flat.

He stood up, nodding stiffly. "I’ll come with you."

"Yeah, you don't fucking have to." I said, but he followed me either way.

We walked to the bathroom in silence, and I grabbed the box off the counter with shaking hands. Chris stood by the door, watching me, his expression unreadable. I couldn’t even look at him as I went through the motions, my stomach twisting into knots.

When it was done, we sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for the result. The timer on my phone ticked down, each second stretching out longer than the last.

"I’ve been thinking," Chris said suddenly, his voice softer than it had been in days. I glanced at him, unsure of what to expect.

"About what?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "About everything. About what I said… how I reacted."

I remained silent.

He hesitated before continuing, "I was scared, okay? I still am. I’m terrified, actually. But… I’ve been thinking. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing."

I blinked, surprised. "What?"

He looked at me, his expression softer now, more open. "I’m not saying it’d be easy. But if you are pregnant, I mean… we’d figure it out, right? We’d get through it."

For the first time in days, I felt a tiny flicker of hope. "You really think so?"

He nodded, his gaze steady on mine. "Yeah. I don’t want to be that guy who just freaks out and runs away. If it happens, I want to be there for you. For both of you."

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, feeling some of the tension leave my shoulders. Maybe we’d been fighting, maybe we were scared, but hearing him say that made me feel like we could actually do this, if we had to.

"And if I really think about it.." he continued, his thumb on my cheek caressing the skin so gently, as if I was a porcelain doll, "the idea of having a little baby with you that looks just like their mom.. yeah, I think I'm fine with that." he teased with a little smile and that's all I needed to hear.

The timer went off, the sharp beep cutting through the air. We both froze, looking at each other.

"Do you want to…?" Chris asked, nodding toward the bathroom.

I shook my head. "You can look."

He stood up, walking over to the counter, his movements slow and hesitant. I watched him as he picked up the test, his face unreadable. For a moment, he just stared at it, not saying anything.

Finally, he looked up at me, his expression a mixture of relief and something else I couldn’t quite place. "It’s negative."

I let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. "Negative?"

He nodded, setting the test down and walking back over to me. "Yeah. You’re not pregnant."

Relief washed over me, but there was something else too. Something that felt almost like disappointment. I pushed it down, not wanting to think too much about it.

Chris sat down beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "I’m sorry," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "For how I acted. I didn’t handle any of this well."

I leaned into him, closing my eyes as I let the warmth of his embrace chase away the last remnants of fear. "It’s okay," I murmured. "We’re okay."

"Is it crazy that I've started to warm up to the idea?" he whispered against my hair and even though I didn't want a baby, I still felt giddy hearing him say that.

"Your mood swings are acting up." I teased and buried my face into the crook of his neck, pressing a kiss there, "although.. so did I." I whispered.

[blossomarlia]

hi bit a of weird request but would you be able to write one where fem!reader is walking home from a party and feeling kind of insecure/sad but james sees her and like cheers her up?

hi! hope this is kind of what you wanted, thanks for the request <3

james potter x fem! reader

warnings: mentions of slut-shaming/victim mindset, reader is drunk and a bit insecure, excessive use of pet names

You try, uselessly, to pull your thin shirt across just a little more of your chest, skin sensitive and prickling with goosebumps as another chill sweeps through the lamp-lit street. You hadn’t expected the cold to affect you so quickly; at Marlene’s party, a combination of alcohol and crowded bodies had kept you perfectly warm. You’d felt warmed inside, too, confident and sparkling, for most of the night. You suppose the cold isn’t helping to remind you how that ended, either.

“You’re certainly putting on a show,” someone said. “Looks like you’re up for just about anything.”

Thankfully, Emmeline and Mary had been standing nearby, and the anonymous plus-one was treated to a thirty-five minute lecture on respect before being sent home. You tried to laugh at his expression and the bitter apology he threw your way- you did, really, but the damage was done. Worse, when you looked around and realised that almost none of your friends were dressed in quite the same calibre of party outfit as you were. 

“What, you’re worried you look too hot? Relax, babe.” Marlene had said, trying to make you feel better. It would’ve worked if you hadn’t had quite so many ciders, and spent half an hour already feeling rotten. Mary, not realising that it had actually upset you (to be fair, you’d done nothing but pretend to be fine) said that to cover up would be proving him right, and how could you ask Marlene for a spare t-shirt after that? It would be vindication for everyone who thought the same thing as that stupid boy, wouldn’t it? 

Now, freezing cold and barely halfway to your flat, you’re completely confused as to why you decided to abandon your cab home. You remember saying something about needing fresh air to the driver, and then you’d paid and he drove off without a second thought. Your friends would be worried sick if they knew you were out here all alone. And dressed like this, too, a mean little voice adds. Really, what do you expect to happen?

It’s not true or fair, you know, but this entire night hasn’t been anything like what you’d imagined when you were putting on makeup and getting dressed, and you’re so cold that your teeth are chattering, and it’s all making you feel awfully close to tears. 

“Hey!” You stiffen, seeing yourself briefly silhouetted against the pavement by headlights behind you. You turn, tense and worried, and squint at the man sitting in the front seat.

“James?” You gasp, a hand on your stomach as you try to swallow the panic climbing your throat. “I thought you were- how are you here?”

James looks very worried and quite guilty, too. “Sorry, angel. Should’ve turned my high-beams off.” If you were sober and quite a lot happier, the endearment would make you smile- James’ habit of referring to everyone by a pet-name is one of the most lovely things about him. “I live this way, remember? I was supposed to be picking Pa- Sirius up, but he’s decided to stay the night at Marls’.”

You know their nicknames for one another- everyone does. Padfoot, Moony, Prongs. You don’t know what they mean, and don’t really need to, but it’s sort of nice that James always makes the effort to use Remus and Sirius’ real names when he’s talking to those outside their trio. Maybe he’s unaware that he does it, but it’s as if he’ll do anything to avoid people feeling excluded. 

“Sorry,” You say, voice suddenly wobbly, and close your eyes tightly. You hear James’ door open and then his footsteps as he comes towards you- you expect his touch, and wouldn’t hate it but wouldn’t want it like you usually do, either- but then he’s draping something warm and soft around your shoulders. You open your eyes. You’re wearing one of his jackets, soft brown corduroy that reaches the tops of your thighs. You think you remember him saying it belonged to his father; Fleamont and Euphemia Potter are known within your circle of friends for being generous with their belongings. You think Lily was wearing one of Euphemia’s scarves in her ponytail tonight.

You sway in your heels. Why didn’t you take them off? Your feet ache terribly, another hurt to add to the list. You press a fist to your chest, willing yourself not to start crying in front of James, who is undoubtedly the nicest boy you’ve ever fancied. 

“Will you let me drop you home? It’s too cold, you’ll get sick,” He asks gently, as if to prove your point. 

“Okay.” 

You sniffle. “Oh, sweetheart,” He says. 

You’re bundled into the car, still shivering, and James reaches into the backseat to get a jumper- why he has so many articles of outerwear in his car, you’ve no idea- and puts it across your bare legs to warm you up. He turns the heater up the whole way and pats your shoulder before he shuts the door.

You look at him as he sits in the driver’s seat, your hands clammy and face raw with upset. “I’m really sorry. This is so embarrassing.”

He gives you a bemused half-smile, shaking his head. “How’s that?” “I’m not sober. And I’m hardly wearing anything.” The second part comes out much quieter, but somewhere between Marlene’s flat and this car you started feeling very sorry to everyone that you’d put on such a ‘show’, or whatever, tonight. Would it have been so hard just to wear jeans? You feel ashamed, dirty, embarrassed. People have probably been whispering about it all night.

James doesn’t start driving yet. “Are you okay?” He asks, more serious than you’re expecting him to be. “Did something happen?”

“No- well, yeah, but it was…” You squeeze your eyes closed again, pressing your fingertips cruelly into your lids and regretting it when they come away stained with mascara. You must look a sight. “Nothing bad happened, I just wish I hadn’t worn this.”

You glance at James to see him frowning at you, but he quickly smooths his expression. Great, he’s judging you too. “Why not, sweetheart? You look gorgeous. I hope someone told you, even if I wasn’t there to say it.”

You look like you’re up for just about anything, the other man’s voice echoes in your head. You take several short breaths. 

“I just should’ve worn something else. I feel- um.” You rub your hands across your face. “There were just- this guy made a comment, I don’t know, it hurt my feelings. It’s silly. I’m drunk.”

You’re slightly startled to sense James tensing beside you, even across the console of his car. His hands tighten around the steering wheel. “Who was it? What did he say?”

“I don’t know,” You reply, truthfully to the former question and not to the latter. “It doesn’t even matter.”

“Is he still there?”

You’re worried James is going to turn around and go back to the party, he sounds so incensed, and when you look at him he’s wearing an expression that you’ve never seen before. You shake your head. “He’s gone. The girls made him. I- please can we just go? Sorry. It’s not worth talking about.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” James blinks and gives you an apologetic smile, pulling back onto the street and waving a hand in front of the heater nearest you. “This working alright? Are you warm enough?”

“Loads better, thank you.” 

You drive in silence for five minutes. You want it to be comfortable, but your mind keeps spinning itself back to just about anything, and it’s getting more and more difficult not to cry. You’re grateful when James says your name.

“Do you want to listen to some music? You can choose anything,” He offers, opening the glove compartment in front of you with his eyes still on the road and revealing an extensive CD collection. “I bet you have good taste.” You look through the jewel cases, bemused but flattered by this assessment. You’re pleasantly surprised. It doesn’t take long for you to pick something, and James nods his approval.

“Good choice, angel,” He smiles over at you. It’s beginning to rain, the droplets scattering shadows across the car with each streetlamp you pass. They look almost like freckles on James’ face. “What’s that look?”

You realise you’ve been staring, though there’s nothing to indicate any sort of judgement in his tone. You look at your lap. “Nothing, sorry, I’m just… um, thanks for driving me. It was really kind.”

“You’re easy to be kind to,” He replies lightly, as if it’s nothing at all. 

There’s another pause, perhaps more comfortable. 

“That idiot who hurt your feelings,” James says eventually, “Was wrong. Whatever he said, he was wrong.”

“You can’t know that. Maybe he was exactly right,” You say, and don’t quite manage to laugh it off. 

“I can’t think of a single bad thing he could’ve said that would’ve been true,” James retorts immediately. You look at him. “Truly.”

His softness is persuasive, even if he’s not trying to get information out of you. “He said that my outfit made it look like I was up for anything,” You admit, and your face heats in shame. Dread, too, that James will remain silent and unable to disagree, after all. 

He’s frowning deeply when you glance at him. “What does that even mean?”

“You know what it means, James.” 

There’s a moment where you worry he’ll make you spell it out, but then he huffs out a breath and nods, eyebrows knitted together. “Yeah, I do- I’m sorry, sweetheart. That’s a ridiculous thing to say to someone. What a dick!”

“I don’t think everyone found it ridiculous. I mean, it’s- it’s not really my most conservative outfit, is it?” You joke half-heartedly. Why am I arguing this? Why did one stupid boy’s comment ruin my confidence so completely? 

“So what?” James counters, “What does it matter what you’re wearing? I- well, it matters to me because you look gorgeous, you really do- but it doesn’t say anything about what you’re ‘up for’!”

“I know that,” You say quietly. 

“I really hope you do, angel,” He sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You’re- you don’t deserve that. I’m sorry he was so awful. No wonder you're upset.”

“It’s fine; I’m being a bit dramatic. I’m drunk.” “There’s nothing dramatic about being hurt when someone’s said something hurtful, it’s the most normal reaction” James says firmly. “It’s not a weakness, Y/N.”

“It’s just- I don’t know why I’m letting it affect me like this. I know it’s bullshit. If he’d said it to anyone else I’d’ve been one of the people shouting at him.”

“You’re a selfless person,” He says like it’s an immoveable fact. “It can be easier to stand up for other people than yourself; you’re only human.”

“Thanks, James.”

“No need to thank me, lovely girl.”

He starts talking about other things: rugby, a film they’re showing at your local cinema, a new bakery that’s popped up down the street from him. You’re struck by how much care he expresses with every detail; he’s liking rugby, but he worries the early wakeup times mean he’s disturbing Remus and Sirius in the mornings, neither of whom enjoy getting up before ten o’clock; he’s interested to see the film because Mary went on a spiel about its other iterations and interpretations by directors, and he wants to understand what she was talking about better; the new bakery is owned by a man who used to work with James’ father, but always had a knack for pastries and has spent years saving up to buy a place. It was James who told him about the shop being leased. It’s as if his entire world, his life, is constructed out of the love he has for his friends, and you find yourself capable of relaxing, smiling, laughing, the rest of your night momentarily discarded. 

James can’t come in for tea, but he does walk you to your door and refuse to take back the jacket.  “It looks good on you, angel. No surprise,” He grins.

You step forward, emboldened, and kiss him on the cheek. You hope you’re not so tipsy that his blushing is imagined, though he does stammer slightly before clearing his throat and speaking again.

“I should go home to Remus, he was expecting me a while ago. Will you be alright?”

“Yeah, should be,” You look up at him, wishing he didn’t have to go. “Thanks again.”

“Enough thanking. Would it- could I give you a ring tomorrow? Just to-”

“That would be really nice,” You respond, a beat too quickly to be nonchalant. You both laugh. If tonight hadn’t been what it was, you think you might like to kiss James properly. Instead, “Maybe… um, I could buy you something from the bakery to make up for all this?”

James’ brow furrows at the last part, but he’s relievingly open to your suggestion. “I’ll be paying, sweetheart, but it sounds like a plan. I’ll call in the morning to sort it out?”

“Okay,” You smile.

“Okay. Goodnight, angel.”

[crushh-existz]

Streamer Ellie HCs

Warnings: lower case intended..., NOT proofread at all..., its actually so shit so shh

-loser!ellie who made it through freshman and sophmore year of being a complete loner other than Jesse and Dina keeping her company but even then, she had absolutely no classes with them after freshman year.

-loser!ellie mid sophmore year she got bored and streamed her playing filled fortnite squads (it took her 4 hours trying to set it up with the most grainy ass camera she could find from joel that he used when he worked in customer service. she also got 10 views MAX!!)

-loser!ellie she looked back at the footage after school one day and her ass went onto capcut and put the most stupidest clips she could find of herself and posted it on one of her many alt accounts on tiktok.

after rewatching that bitch at least 20 times and giggling her ass off, she went to bed swaddled in her dino sheets

she didn't even realize she had fallen asleep at around 2 am and woke up super late, forgetting her phone at home

-loser!ellie had to sit through all her classes bored as FUCKK without her brawl stars to get through her boring classes (dont ask it was the stupidest mobile game i could think of and idk anything abt it) and the only game that wasn't locked away by GoGuardian was slope.io (her highscore is 23)

-loser!ellie went about her day as jolly as one who is drowning in assignments could be. she hung out with jesse and dina at lunch and surviving her last two periods before walking home humming her favorite songs pretending she has her phone and wired headphones (that most definately need to be retired after 6 years of torture, half of which were from joel using them)

once she actually got home, kicking off her butchered converse onto her bedroom floor as she flopped onto her bed

-loser!ellie finally got to open her phone to browse through her notifications and streaks dina for some reason made her keep, she noticed a fat chunk of them being from tiktok

at first she thought it was just jesse getting home early and sending her posts but it was actually from her stupid capcut video (she didnt even remove the watermark at the end)

her video for some reason blew up.. she literally flew up to sit on her bed scrolling through all the comments.

"wait why r u actually funny"

"mind you this is my first impression of u"

"why is ur camera quality worse than my dead grandmas health.."

"in my mind we're actually bestfriends come out im in ur closet."

of course among that, theres also random hate comments like

"this pmo" and petty shit like that.

she giggled by replying to them with the most stupidest things

@/player222schesticals im js a natural arent i

@/user283678383257819 i hope it lasts

@/therealauthormorgan911 erm tell her dust i said hi

@/divaa283628 how'd u know i was a scissor sister dafauq

-streamer!ellie immediatly after she called dina "DUDE IM FLIPPING FAMOUS"

dina thought she was high off her ass and told her yeah right before hanging up on her ass.

ellie then proceeded to send a link to her alt and dina was actually blown away

"woah els.. you should pay me to be your manager."

-streamer!ellie laughed in her face (she asked dina to manage her shit a week later)

-loser!ellie's following grew and she branched her gaming to other things, mostly shorter story games that she finds off steam for 1 cent. every so often the game is actually really good with life changing plot (ellie's bawling by the end of it)

obviously she still plays stupid shooter games like fortnite and OW but she's too scared to touch COD (too many sweats she says)

-streamer!ellie absolutely LOVES to troll on GTA with Jesse it's literally her favorite thing to do EVERRR!!! the public js eats it up like candy, putting her in comps whenever she would accidently blow herself up or something (again dont know anything about this game at ALLL!!!)

-loser!ellie absolutely loves scowering tiktok for stupid little edits of herself and saving them all

she's quite cocky behind the screen and loves interacting w/ her community online but gets so awkward when she gets recognized in public or at school for the few audio clips of her going viral (it's okay cuz dina and jesse help her through it!!)

--

A/N: okay chat these were just heehees and haahaas bro. i randomly decided to do it and I thought it was funny and lowk sat there and actually wrote w/o stopping.. tbh there was more to this but like i cringed and deleted all that but i liked it up until this point. there were probably part 2 if i figure out what to write and probably x reader version too FHEIWF anyway its fr shit but this was js for funsies ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ

[strawberrypoundtown]

Orc x Halforc!Fem!Reader: Part 2

After returning to your tent, you attempt to sneak off to let off some steam. However, you get caught quickly and things escalate from there...

Contains: pregnancy risk, breeding kink, chasing, wrestling, pinning, physical restraining, degradation, spanking, biting

'Fuck, shit, god I can't do this. I have to think of something.'

You were more than a little embarrassed and flustered as you laid in your bed, pretending to be asleep. After finding out Gan was going to be the one watching over you, you had no idea what to think. You tried to play off your short circuit brain and after some small talk excusedyourself to go lay down, saying you had a headache. How were you supposed to find a mate when Gan is the one watching over you? Whenever he was around, you were a puddle. You couldn't think of any person you wanted as your mate other than him. He was the best option, surely. Your brother may not be keen on the idea, but the rest of your family would think he would be the best option for you.

The only issue was that you didn't know if he would even hope to feel the same way about you. He always treated you with nothing but respect and kindness, but something about it felt much more withdrawn compared to when he would act similarly with other females in the clan. He would seem to be more playful, flirty even. He was already almost 26, just a couple years older than you. He never seemed to want anything serious from what you had heard. Oh no. Maybe he only saw you as a sister? Maybe he just wasn't the type to want a mate?

You rolled onto your back and let out a sigh. You needed to let off some steam. You had to get out of here. You rubbed your eyes before carefully sitting up. Gan was right outside your tent. He at least let you have that much privacy, but it was almost worse that he was right there. You wanted him to walk in and take you already. You wanted his strong hands to hold you down and give you his big, hard cock. You wanted him to fill you with his cum. To make you all his. That would definitely help you relax.

A gruff cough outside your tent broke you out of your horny daze, bringing you back to reality. You had to think of a way to get out of here. You needed to get away from Gan without him knowing. You can't think straight with him right there.

You could sneak out from behind your tent easily. You had a flap on your tent behind a chest, but someone might see you run off. You had to peak and see if anyone was there first, but Gan might hear you moving things and wonder what's going on. You sat on the edge of your bed as you pondered your options. You got up and snatched a smaller letter opener from your desk. You walk over to the chest and carefully using the sharp end to cut a small slit in the tent, just big enough to peak through.

You mentally pat yourself on the back for your creativity. You could sew it up if anyone noticed it anyways. At least that was one issue solved. You take a quick look out the small hole and didn't see anyone. Perfect. Time to try and move the chest in front of the escape spot as quietly as possible.

"(Y/n)?" You heard from outside your tent just ss you were about to stsrt moving the chest. The from entrance, thankfully. It was Gan. You loved it when he said your name. You sighed and figured it would be better to walk over the entrance. Maybe you could get him distracted with something else.

"Yes Gan?" You say as you opened the flaps of your tent, closing them behind you as you stepped out and stared up at Gan. He stared down at you and rolled his eyes.

"I was just going to ask how you were feeling. Were you thinking of going on a walk?" He said with a bit more sass in his voice than you were comfortable with. However, you face remained unfazed as you rolled your eyes yourself.

"No. I was actually going to ask if you could get me an apple. I'm a bit hungry and forgot to grab anything earlier." You asked him, genuinely a bit hungry, but you could easily find food outside of camp. You knew where the apple trees were. "Please?" You said, with a small pout. How could he say no to that face?

"Fine. Just don't go anywhere." He grumbled after a long pause. He avoided your gaze as he walked off towards the food tent. Now with Gan out of the way, you could slip out the back without anyone noticing. I mean, Gan would notice when he got back, but what was he gonna do? Tell your parents?

You quickly went back inside your tent, moving the chest out of the way before quickly peaking through the hole again. After making sure the path was clear, you lifted the flap and started to move through it. However, fate was not on your side.

"Hey (Y/n), I'm back with your app-" Gan freezes as he walks through the entrance of your tent, thrown off at first when he sees you halfway through a random hole in your tent. "What the-" you don't give him enough time to react, diving through the hole and bolting to the forrest. The advantage of being a bit smaller is that you were quick on your feet. "Ah fuck!" He yells in frustration, needing to go the long way around the tent.

You were already just a blurr in the distance by the time he got around the tent, but he could still see you. He chuckles to himself and takes off his armor and weapons, leaving them against your tent before running after you. He might not have been fast, but he was more known for his endurance... in more ways than one. He'd catch up to you eventually.

You were running as fast as you could, dodging and weaving between the trees. You were hoping you were losing him, but everytime you looked back, you kept seeing him in the distance. Why was he chasing you? He was always able to keep a pretty good pace with you, but in that moment you kinda hated him for it. Or did you love it? He could catch you so easily. Maybe he would claim you as his once he catches you. Or maybe he'd punish you? You couldn't tell which idea excited you more, but you couldn't focus on that right now!

You nearly trip on a tree root, jumping out of the way so you miss it, but not realizing the hill drop next to you. You yelp and stumble a bit, nearly falling, but you manage to catch yourself on a tree and pull yourself back. You use the second to catch your breath and stabilize yourself. You're about to start running again when you don't hear anyone behind you anymore... or see anyone for that matter. There was no way you lost hik that easily

For such a large man, he had managed to hide himself easily in the dense trees, his dark green skin helping him blend into the scenery as he moved between the foliage. He didn't understand why his heart was racing so much. Or why he felt himself getting excited as he got closer to catching you. He wanted to catch you and claim you. He wanted to make sure no other man would dare look at his mate. He wanted you as his mate. His one and only. He just had no clue how to do that. Maybe chasing you and getting you alone would help...

His footsteps quickened as he had heard you yelp, so he was fairly close to you, but he didn't see the edge of the hill. As your back was turned, he decided that tackling you would be the best way to capture you.

"Found you." He growled ominously before jumping out from around a tree. You screamed out and tried to dodge, but the attempt was futile. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you close to him as he waited for you guys to hit solid ground. But he quickly realized that he had made a mistake as you both started to tumble down the large hill. He had managed to keep you mostly protected throughout the fall, but had hit a tree and lost his grip on you, sending you tumbling your own way down the hill. You both landed at the bottom with a soft thud

He groaned in pain as he sat up, rubbing his head. He checked his body quickly, and other than a few scratches, he was fine. He looked around for you a bit panicked. He didn't know how far away you could have gotten. Thankfully, he spotted you only a few feet away, but noticed you were laying motionless on the ground. His blood ran cold as he rushed to your side, fearing the worst.

"Oh my god, (Y/n)!" He shouts as he turns you onto your back, only to be met by a swift, solid punch to his jaw from below. He groans in pain and turns away from you. After delivering the punch, you quickly get up and jump on his shoulders. You clamp your legs around his neck in a firm hold, causing him to fall backwards as he grabs at your thighs. It was like you were trying to kill him, but not because of lack of oxygen. If he didn't get out from between your thighs soon, he wouldn't be able to get away.

"Why were you following me?!" You yelled, not letting up on your grip. He could still breathe, but barely. He kept struggling, trying to get away from you before he got an erection. He had never had you do this to him like this before and he was enjoying it way more than he should. However, his struggling was causing his head to rub against your pussy through your clothes. You tighten your grip with your legs to try and get him to stop moving. "S-stop making this difficult and tell me why you followed me!" You yelled at him, letting out a soft sigh under your breath as he finally stopped struggling. You lightened your grip slightly to let him answer.

"I-I... don't... know... I... wanted... to.." He still struggled to speak because of her thighs, but she heard him. She let go of him, leaving him laying on the ground as he struggled to catch his breath. "I... didn't want you... to be alone out here..." He added between breaths, finally able to breathe normally for a few moments. However, he quickly couldn't breathe again as you jumped on his neck, your legs wrapping around his head once again, but from the front this time.

"I can take care of myself!" You yelled in frustration, your legs tight around his head, his face buried against your clothed pussy. He didn't dare move or breathe this time, hyper aware of every muscle in his body. You didn't think about what you did until after it was already done. You felt your core getting hot as you felt his tusks against your inner thighs, your face heating up. This felt like some sort of weird dream. Why did you do that?

He had to think of a way out of this before he passed out. His heart raced as he struggled to breathe once again, trying to get away from the sweet smell you just smothered him with. His erection grew and he was thankful you were facing away from it at least. Your pussy right in front of his face was all he could think about. He wanted to just rip your clothes off and make you ride his face, but it took all his willpower not to.

Instead, he wraps his arms around your thighs, keeping you in place with an iron like grip before swiftly turning, rolling the two of you so he was on his stomach. You had thought about this position too, but you were broken out of your thoughts as he quickly hoisted you up. He jumped up himself, your legs still around his head as he smacked you on a large smooth boulder. He was finally able to use his leverage to get out of your hold, gasping for air as he stood and braced himself on the boulder.

As he stood you finally saw it. His massive hard on was visible through his pants. He was huge. You knew he was big, but you weren't even sure if he was fully hard yet. He got that hard from all of that? You felt yourself getting even hotter and you were unable to close your legs yet. He had his hands firmly planted between your legs, keeping them spread open. He had to have known how you were feeling right now, right? He had to smell it when he was down there...

"What was that for?!" He shouts before groaning, reaching up with one hand to rub his jaw after the beating gave it. He looked down at your spread legs and stepped between them fully. He could see the wet spot between your legs and sighed deeply. He didn't think he'ddo this so quickly after being put in charge of taking care of you...

"Are you trying to kill me? Fucking brat..." He growls as he stares down at you, his arms pinning you under him as he leans over you. The sun shines through the trees and gives you both a beautiful glow. It really did feel like a dream, and both of you would agree. He just stared into your beautiful (e/c) eyes, only looking away to look down at your lips. Your faces were only a few inches away from each other's as you stared back at him. It looked like he was conflicted. Maybe you needed to encourage him a little?

You couldn't help yourself. You slowly reached your hands up and touched his chest gently. He was so warm and sweaty, and after the fall, dirty. You ran your hands up the sides of his neck and gently held his face. You felt him lean into your hands as he closed his eyes and sighed. You used your thumbs to gently caress his large tusks as he melted into your touch even further. You couldn't help but smile and giggle to yourself a little.

"I'd never thought the might Gan would be such a helpless little baby when it comes to being held." You snickered a little, his eyes shooting open before glaring at you. You gave him an evil smile before hooking your fingers on his tusks and tugging them towards you. He let out a groan in response before the look in his eyes turns into something more evil. He suddenly grabs both your wrists with one hand and pins them above your head

"You think that's funny? You fucking tease..." He growls at you. You haven't seen him like this before. You kinda like it. Without a word, he takes one of his hands and cups it under your head, lifting your head to meet his in a rough and passionate kiss. Your bodies rubbed together as he held you down and made out with you, not wanting to let you go Your tusks rubbed together as he loosened his grip on your wrists, pulling away slightly. Seizing the opportunity, you wrap your arms around his neck and brought your lips back to his. You'd been waiting too long for a chance like this. Your legs wrap around his waist as you press your body into his, scratching his back as you let out soft breathy moans whenever your lips manage to part for a moment.

He stumbles backwards a bit in surprise, his hands immediately grabbing your ass as he keeps you held close to him. He may not have expected this reaction, but he won't complain. He moans with you as he continues to kiss you, but slowly moves his hands up your body towards your shoulders.

As you start to grind your hips against him, he pushes you back onto the rock, your arms releasing, but your legs still locked firmly in place around his waist. Your back was arched as he pinned your shoulders. Both of you were panting from the kiss, both your lips puffy and almost raw. He has a moment of clarity and wants to make sure this isn't to try and trick him into not telling anyone about this.

"What's going on with you? You've been off since I was assigned to you. You've never given a guard this much trouble when you get caught outside camp. Why me?" He asked, determined for answers. Did you hate him that much that you wanted to run away? He was so confused as to why you were kissing him then.

"Because I want you..." You mumbled, bashful as you turned your head away from him. You let go of your grip around his waist with your

"What?" He asked, a bit thrown off by your answer.

"I want you! I have no interest in anyone else in the clan. I know you may not exactly feel the same way, but I needed to get away from you to even have a chance of finding someone else. I can't think of anyone but you when you're around..." You admit, sheepishly. Your face flushes and you avoid looking him in the eyes. "I just want you as my mate... if you'll have me."

He was staring at you dumbstruck as he tried to replay what he just heard in his head. Did you just confess? His head spun as he tried to find the words to speak, to reciprocate how you feel, but decided that actions would speak louder than words. His hands moved down to your hips and pulled you to the edge of the boulder. You were about to ask what he was doing, but he interrupted you by pulling your shorts up and exposing your ass for him. You didn't have time to react before he delivered a swift smack to your ass, earning a squeal from you.

"You had to take the moment didn't you? Spoilt brat. I wanted to ask you properly after showing you I can protect you. Couldn't even let me try and be a gentleman for you..." He said lowly, making your heart race as you froze and starred up at him. You didn't think you'd actually get this for, so you weren't sure how to react to any of this. All you knew was that you wanted him to keep going.

Another slap sounded on your other asscheek as he pushed your knees back against your chest. He directed your arms to wrap around your knees as he crouched down in front of your exposed pussy. His hot breath against your sensitive clit gave you goosebumps. He took a moment to appreciate the sight of you before he finally dove in, giving your pussy long, slow licks from your entrance to your clit. You moan out and squeeze your legs closer to you as you let him do what he wants. He toys with you like that for a while before using his mouth to focus on your clit.

One of his hands migrate to your pussy, one of his large fingers sliding into you and curling against your g-spot gently. You arch your back as you let out another moan, but cut it off by biting your lip. His free hand slaps your ass again as he continues to lap at your clit with his tongue and finger your pussy. His hand stays on your ass and gropes the soft flesh as his tusks rub and scratch against the back of your thighs.

You pussy trembled as you tried your best not to squirm. As much as his hand was nice, you wanted to cum on his dick. You wanted him to fill you up and give you his little orcling. Now that you knew he felt the same, your whole body felt hot. His hands in and on your body felt like fire.

"Fuck..." He stopped suddenly and pulled away, taking off your shorts completely and quickly taking his own clothes off as you slowly let go of your legs and spread them. "You're so fucking sexy. I can't believe you're so willing to be my cum slut already..." He held his cock and rubbed it against your pussy. He was worried about hurting you, but after your pussy juices coated his cock after only ruling against you for a few moments, he decided to just go ahead.

You were eager for him to finally thrust into you. Even just his warm cock rubbing along your pussy lips and clit was making you feral. You'd jump on him soon if he didn't get a move on.

He lines up his cock carefully with your slick hole before easing his cock into you. You both moan loudly as your pussy strains slightly to take him in the best way. Your arousal only increased, making it easier for him to get more of his cock into you by the second. When he's about halfway into your pussy, you're already nearly completely full and he pauses.

"W-why are you stopping?" You whimper, not wanting him to hold back. He gives you a wicked grin before grabbing your hips and lifting you. He flips you over onto your stomach while you're still half on his dick. The sensation made your body quiver in pleasure before you turn your head to look back at him. He leans over your body and braces himself on his elbows over you, one of his forearms positioned under your head for you to rest on.

"I wanna fuck you like the bitch you keep acting like. Maybe then my dirty slut will calm down and be a good girl for me." Gan groans in your ear before thrusting the last of his cock into you without warning. You screamed out a moan out of shock, biting down on his arm as your eyes rolled back for a moment. Your tight pussy quivered around his cock as he shuddered from the sensation of having your warm, wet pussy around him. He could live like that, minus your teeth, but his hips start to move on their own as he moans in your ear.

"F-fuck, you're so tight... you're gonna milk my cock and give me a kid... everyone is gonna know you're all mine soon." He said breathlessly. As much as he was trying to act tough, his heart was melting as he fucked your brain out. His thrusts got faster and rougher as he listened to you moan through your bite on his arm with every thrust.

You tried to thrust your hips back against his with each thrust, but there wasn't much you could do when your whole body was pinned down. You felt your climax building quickly as Gan finds his pace, rubbing perfectly against your g-spot and hitting your cervix in a way that made you feel dizzy. His large, full balls kept slapping your clit with each thrust. Your jaw slacked as you released your bite, moaning even louder.

"There we go. Good girl. You're gonna behave for me, right? You gonna cum for me? I want my slut to cum on my cock and milk me..." He grumts, you only able to weakly nod your head as he just kept fucking your pussy until you exploded. Your pussy squeezed his cock so hard he couldn't move for a moment and you screamed. Your orgasm felt like you got hit by lightning, but he just keeps fucking you. Your pussy shuddered around his cock as you keep cumming, each thrust making you more overstimulated than the last.

"Fuck yes. I'm gonna cum too, princess. Take it all, please." Thankfully, he doesn't last much longer than you. His thrusts get faster but more sloppy as he chases his orgasm. He moans and groans as you whimper and lick the bite mark you left on his arm. The sight makes him groan as he thrusts inside you one last time, burying his cock deep in your pussy as he cums. You finally stsrt to come down from your orgasm with a loud sigh. You feel his warm cum fill you, but whine as you feel some of it start to drip down your legs.

He was still so hard. He rocks his hips gently against yours as you moan. Your poor sensitive pussy kept being bullied and you loved it. He kisses your shoulder gently and sighs.

"I love you, (Y/n)... I'd love to be your mate..." He whispers in your ear as he wraps his arms around you, hugging you tenderly.

"I can tell..." You giggled breathlessly. Although you were exhausted, you didn't loose your sense of humor. "I love you too..." You whispered before turning your head and kissing him on the cheek. Due to how hard he was, and how he seemed to already be ready to go again, you two were going to be there for a long time...

[luveline]

could i request teacher!reader with hotch? like maybe she’s jacks teacher

thank you for your request! fem!reader, 1.2k

You're a teacher: you're always tired. Overworked, underpaid, everybody knows how it goes. And maybe you've let yourself go because you don't have any real material hopes for the future beyond getting Macy Danish to read at a first grade level, but how were you supposed to know that Jack Hotchner's father would be so overwhelmingly attractive? It's not fair. 

He's handsome though older than you'd been expecting, but that isn't the cut and dry of it. When he comes in, it's alone, in a well-fitted suit. He's tall and remarkably dark-eyed, shaking your hand without trying to impose any authority, as some of the fathers tend to do, and when you call him Mr. Hotchner, he says, "Aaron, please," but continues to call you Ms. L/N.

"Aaron," you say, pulling your skirt under your thighs as you sit down. You're dressed in nice clothes for the parent-teacher conferences, but you could've covered your sleeplessness better. "Jack is the nicest boy in class. He's actually my loveliest kid. Um…" You search through your notes for the preliminary assessment of Jack. "Sorry, two seconds." 

"Take your time. I know what it's like to dig through a mountain of paperwork every day." 

"Jack mentioned you work in the government, he calls you a special agent," you say, smiling. "You get the bad guys." 

"I am a special agent. Supervisory." Aaron is conscientious enough to pretend he doesn't notice your surprise. "I'm chief of the behavioural analysis unit." 

You can't even begin to guess what that entails. "Oh," you say breathlessly. 

"I understand that it sounds fantastical." 

"It sounds impressive," you say, floundering to correct yourself. Behavioural analysis? It must be obvious to him how nervous he's making you, then, and when you realise that, you get worse. "I'm so sorry about this. I should be more organised. I usually am." 

"That's alright. Take your time." 

Does he always speak that way? His voice is like fucking silk? Is he messing with you?

You yank the notes you made for Jack from the pile and flatten them across the desk. "Okay, sorry. Like I was saying, Jack is really the nicest kid, him and his friend Molly. They're both lovely, and teachers shouldn't have favourites, please don't tell the other parents, but they're my favourites." You smile at him quickly and return your eyes to the paper. The words swim in front of your eyes. "Jack can read better than you could ever hope for a first grader, he's immensely intelligent for his age group. He's patient. He'll explain anything to anyone if they ask him too, and he does it well." 

"I'm glad to hear that," he says, again so softly. 

You pick up one of your skinny biros to have something to fidget with. He's a very good looking man, but you're a good teacher. You can focus on what to say. Some parents need good things only. Some need reassurement that they're doing a good job. Aaron is harder to read, but you know what he needs, too. 

"He can be lonely," you say, looking him in the eye. "I don't think that that's down to any fault. I'm sure you know better than I do why he might feel that way." You know about his mom's passing over a year ago. You've seen grief in children too many times. "He… I understand if this isn't okay with you, but he eats lunch with me sometimes. I encourage him to sit with his peers, of course, but I think he runs out of energy pretty quickly." 

Aaron nods thoughtfully. His brows quirk into a furrow that you're afraid is directed at you. 

"I don't think he necessarily has trouble connecting with his friends." 

"What do you think?" 

"I think something awful happened to your family, and Jack will feel it for the rest of his life, but that it won't stop him from being great. It already isn't. And… he clearly has a father who loves him and who he admires. You're his second favourite topic." 

"What's his first?" he asks. 

"He's really into Fruity Fridays," you say with a laugh. "I bring in fruits you don't get often in America. Someone would've had to sign a form." 

"No, I remember signing it. He likes that?" His smile is golden. "I can't get him to try new things." 

"He had all the leftover gold kiwi last week." You rub your lips together. Time is ticking. You have nearly thirty parents to see tonight, but talking to Mr. Hotchner has been so normal. He's a regular person in a sea of inattentive helicopter narcissists. It's a relief and a half to meet him and know a kid as gentle as Jack is in good hands. "Mr. Hotchner, I have to tell you, I'm really relieved to meet you." 

"Aaron," he corrects.

Your tone drops too low. "Aaron." 

"I'm more than relieved," he says. "I knew that this year would be harder for him. I didn't know… I'm grateful to you, for being so kind with him." 

You look down at your notes, flushed from head to toe despite your airy skirt. Crossing your legs, you shake your head. "It's my job." 

"To let him take up the only break you get all day?" he asks. 

"It's not like that. Jack doesn't bother me." You fold your notes in half. "I can see his role model measures up." 

"I could say the same thing." 

The next time you see Jack, bright and early Monday mooring shepherded by his aunt Jessica, he's very happy to see you. You offer him a hug and pat his back when he wraps his arms around your hips. "Hello, Jack. Was your dad pleased with your drawings?"

Jack smiles at you. "I have a note for you." 

"You do? Can I see? Where is it, honey?" 

Jack takes off his backpack and pulls out the note and a tupperware container. "Oh, wow, did you make treats for the class? Jack, that's so nice!" 

"No. Dad said those are for you. He said you should have nice for nice, or something," Jack informs you. 

"You'll share with me, though? I can't eat them all by myself," you whisper. 

He nods with enthusiasm and runs off to put his backpack in his cubby and his coat on the hook. You look down at the cookies and note, which is actually an envelope. 

You open it with your thumbnail. The writing is Aaron's usual tight cursive.

Dear Miss L/N, 

I hoped to thank you again in person, but work makes that hard. I appreciate everything you do for Jack. There are teachers who work, and there are teachers who go above and beyond. I can feel confident anywhere in the country knowing Jack is being taught by the latter. 

Gratefully yours, 

Aaron Hotchner. 

P.S. Please don't feed Jack too many cookies. They're not for him. 

You keep the letter even if it's lame to do so. When is the next parent teacher conference, anyways?

[pomefioredove]

Hi !! I love your writing! I think you've nailed the twst characters personalities really nicely <33

So if possible, I'd like to have some hcs Sebek, Ruggie, Jack, Jamil and Deuce would realize that they have a crush on the reader (in which the reader is basically their closest friend atp) and how'd they'd react to it. Would they be the type to shove it back down or get it over with? Something else entirely, maybe??

Hope this isn't too much. Thank you in advance! Take all the time you need!

hii first off thank you so much!! <3 and ofc ofc I LOVE pining (and friends to lovers?!)

pomefiore part

summary: how they would have a crush on you type of post: headcanons characters: deuce, jack, ruggie, jamil, sebek additional info: romantic, reader isn't specified to be yuu except in sebek's part because I found it funny, reader is gender neutral, deuce is a cutie patootie

𝐃𝐞𝐮𝐜𝐞 𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐝𝐞

oh, he is in utter turmoil about this

on one hand: he really, really likes you

you're such a wonderful person

the kind of partner he'd be proud to introduce to his mom

on the other hand...

he really, really doesn't want to mess this up

you already have such a great thing going on as friends!

if he ruined that, he would literally never forgive himself

and Ace would make fun of him for it until the very end of time itself

so, of course he just sits on these feelings. maybe if he focuses on something else, they'll go away?

spoiler alert: they do not

they definitely do not

if anything, trying to ignore them just makes it worse for him; suddenly he's becoming an entirely different person around you

it's like a switch is flipped the second you're in the room

he becomes clumsy, easily flustered, can barely string a sentence together

Ace gives him hell about it, of course

and when there's no hope of hiding it any longer, he just confesses

(not that it wasn't obvious already... but for his sake, you'll have to pretend like it's shocking news)

𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐥

he's actually... pretty upfront about it?

once he's got his feelings on the matter sorted, anyway

...which takes him a few weeks

when he first recognizes his crush on you, he pours himself into his training

not as a distraction, really; he just finds it easier to think when he's working out

he really does want to think this one through

much like Deuce, Jack understands that he'd put the friendship at risk if he were to confess

unlike Deuce, however, he's somewhat aware that ignoring and hiding is a coward's way out, and will only push you away

so, once he's very sure about his feelings, he confesses

it's not exactly like a confession, though

more of a... lecture?

just informs you that he's developed feelings, doesn't want them to affect the friendship, and leaves the decision up to you

won't freak if you don't reciprocate, but... he might be a little bummed out

okay... more than a little

𝐑𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐡𝐢

first thought: he doesn't have time for this

Ruggie has a job, school, and a whole neighborhood to feed back home

now a partner? no, that's completely out of the question

besides, it's not like you'd ever reciprocate. who'd wanna spend every date eating dandelion salad?

no one, that's who

of course he doesn't bother asking, but he assumes that goes without saying

but he's busy enough to put those feelings on the back burner and deal with them some other day

...if only he wasn't so distracted by thoughts of you, that plan might have worked!

by his third slip-up, Leona's had enough and demands he's gotta sort out whatever's bothering him if he ever wants to show his face there again

(he might've been in a bad mood)

but, unfortunately, Ruggie knows he's right

it's better to be rejected now than to spend the rest of his school days mulling over it

so, he just spills the beans, as plain and simple as possible

tries to walk away as soon as he's done so he doesn't have to see the look on your face

you can imagine his surprise when you pull him back

𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥 𝐕𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐫

actually has a pretty similar reaction to Ruggie

Jamil can't possibly fathom having a partner in a world where he doesn't even have his own freedom

in a sense, he just doesn't want to drag you into his life

in another, more important sense, he would be devastated if you rejected him

so he just... ignores it

of course, Jamil knows that pretending the feelings aren't there won't do much, but he doesn't really have a lot of options

he's not one to talk through his feelings, after all

not that anyone asks...

and his ability to interact with you as if nothing is different is astonishing

even if it feels like he's melting inside

though, you may catch him smiling more at you these days

he just can't help himself

when he's got his other stuff sorted, you'll be next on the agenda

𝐒𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐤 𝐙𝐢𝐠𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐭

you claim to have no magic, and yet you bewitch him into caring about you just as much as his liege?!

well... maybe not as much...

but close! very close!

even admitting that to himself feels like high treason

nonetheless, you have to be something very special to distract him from what he calls his "true purpose in life"

he sees you and feels... ill?

he's light-headed, he's dizzy, his stomach feels funny...

and he's been thinking about you more so than usual

yes, you're friends... he'll even admit he's grown quite fond of you in comparison to the other people you call "friends"

but this is... unusual

surely, you've placed some kind of curse on him!

Silver is the first to hear about it

poor boy is too tired to deal, and so he passes on the problem to Lilia

who just chuckles and makes a lot of odd references and metaphors that no one of this century would understand

no, Sebek has to come to the conclusion that he likes you all on his own

(like-likes you)

and after some pestering from Lilia, he admits that perhaps you and he could protect Malleus... together!

(he's going to have to work on the wording of that confession)

[aerichives]

unspoken notes (part 2)

aeri uchinaga x reader

synopsis. aeri expected teasing, maybe a flustered excuse but not for y/n to bolt like she’d touched fire. now, y/n is avoiding her completely, dodging glances, changing seats, slipping away before aeri can even get close. aeri smirks to herself, if y/n thinks she can run forever, she’s got another thing coming.

genre. mutual pining, slow burn, fluff

words. 756

part 1 part 2

aeri doesn’t waste time.

the next day, she waits for the perfect moment. and it comes easily, y/n, sitting alone in the library, buried in her notes, completely unaware of the storm about to hit.

aeri watches, lingering just out of sight for a moment. y/n’s brow is slightly furrowed, her lips parted in concentration as she scribbles something down, eyes scanning the page like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. it’s cute. too cute.

something tightens in aeri’s chest. she swallows hard. damn it. she shouldn't be the one feeling flustered right now. but watching y/n like this, completely unguarded, lost in her own little world, makes her stomach twist in a way she doesn’t want to think too hard about. she forces herself to refocus, clearing her throat as she approaches.

“hey,” she says, resting her chin on her hand as she leans against the table.

y/n hums absentmindedly in response, not even looking up.

aeri waits a beat, then reaches into her bag, pulling out the small device she’s been holding onto since last night. she places it gently on the table between them, alongside the folded sweater. “you left this in your pocket.”

y/n’s reaction is instant. her eyes snap to the ipod, then to aeri, then back to the ipod again like she’s trying to convince herself it’s not actually there. her hand shoots out to grab it.

“oh, right! thanks, i didn’t even notice—”

“i noticed.”

aeri cuts in smoothly, her voice laced with amusement.

y/n’s fingers tighten around the device, her knuckles going slightly white. she doesn’t say anything, but aeri can practically feel the nervous energy radiating off her.

aeri tilts her head, smirk growing. “so… i took a peek.”

y/n freezes.

aeri lets the silence hang between them, watching as realization slowly, painfully dawns on y/n���s face. it’s almost impressive how quickly she cycles through emotions—shock, horror, denial, sheer existential dread.

y/n swallows. “i— what?” her voice comes out slightly higher than usual.

aeri leans in, lowering her voice just enough to make the space between them feel smaller, charged. “you made a playlist for me?”

y/n practically chokes on air. “i— it’s not— that’s—!”

aeri raises an eyebrow, waiting. she’s seen y/n flustered before, countless times, but this is different. this is full-body panic.

“it’s nothing,” y/n mutters quickly, eyes darting anywhere but aeri. “it’s just… just a dumb thing. doesn’t mean anything.”

aeri’s smirk falters slightly.

y/n sounds defensive. not just embarrassed, almost scared. and for the first time, aeri wonders if she might have pushed too hard.

she softens, about to say something. something teasing, but gentler this time, something to let y/n breathe but before she can, y/n suddenly pushes her chair back, standing so fast she nearly knocks into the table.

“i have to go,” y/n stammers, shoving the ipod into her bag without meeting aeri’s gaze. “i forgot i have something to do.”

aeri blinks. “hey.”

but y/n is already halfway out the door.

just like that, she’s gone.

aeri stares after her, the playful spark from earlier fading into something closer to confusion. she expected teasing. maybe nervous laughter, a half-hearted attempt at brushing it off. she didn’t expect y/n to bolt.

and what’s worse, over the next few days, y/n starts avoiding her.

it starts small. aeri walks into the lecture hall only to find y/n on the opposite side of the room, head down, pretending to be completely engrossed in her notes.

okay. that’s fine. maybe it’s just a coincidence.

but then it happens again. and again.

in the hallways, y/n changes directions the second she sees aeri coming.

and when aeri actually manages to catch her, cornering her outside the library with a casual “hey, stranger,” y/n stumbles out some excuse about needing to study and disappears before aeri can even respond.

aeri is… not happy.

scratch that. she’s frustrated.

this isn’t just avoidance, this is full-on, dedicated evasion, like aeri has shingles and it’s driving her insane.

she didn’t mean to freak y/n out. she just wanted to tease her a little, to push the boundary of whatever this thing between them was. because there is something there. there has to be.

and now, for the first time, aeri is afraid she might have just ruined it.

she flops onto her bed later that night, staring at the ceiling, running through the conversation over and over again. did she push too hard? maybe she should’ve handled it differently. maybe she should’ve pretended not to see the playlist at all.

no. that’s not the real issue.

the real issue is that y/n likes her. that much is obvious now. and instead of dealing with it, y/n is running.

aeri exhales slowly, rubbing a hand over her face.

fine. if y/n wants to play this game, aeri will let her. for now.

but she’s not going to let her keep running forever.