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fluidityandgiggles · 6 years ago

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Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 7

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): I decided to post this earlier than usual, both in honor of fanfic writer appreciation day and because I finished writing this one yesterday, and I was going to schedule it, and just not worry about anything... and then there was a power shortage and as I’m was writing this, on Tuesday, I had to rely on my phone to provide me with wifi. God bless... (Well, I have wifi now, don’t I?)

I just thought that after all the angst of the last two chapters you’d appreciate a bit of sweetness, and where this chapter started almost as harshly as the last two, it’s just. So sweet. And fluffy. And I feel so happy that I managed to do such a thing. Well... that and prove to the world that I’m a massive nerd. (If you really want to know, some of Emile’s rants in this chapters are based on actual answers I gave in my finals. And those of you who know me well enough know that I studied theatre in high school...)

Thanks and credits go to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for the initial idea (and for being there to listen and talk about ideas with when we hang out, which happens a lot more lately actually), to @whatwashernameagain the absolute angel for Keep Him Safe and for being incredibly awesome (and for the German translation of one of my favorite quotes ever), to @anony-phangirl and @asleepybisexual for their usual contributions that shall never go un-thank-ed and uncredited, and a special one to @winglessnymph who is the person and inspiration behind a good chunk of Emile’s background and who, after showing them a screenshot of this chapter, just said “my old high school can burn, but yes at least Emile survived”.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @secretlyanxiouspersona, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @why-things-go-boom, @ilovemygaydad, @violetblossem

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter in particular also has mentions of alcohol and drug use.

—————

"But I want you to come!"

"Leah, sweetie, I can't come. I'm going to Emile's. But I'll see you sooner than you think, okay?"

"Okay… but it's not going to be fun. Rachel is two and she's boring and I don't like Mom."

Leah called every day after school. Remy could've been in a class, or at a group meeting, or taking a shower, and she would call every day after school. It was somewhat adorable.

But now was no time to deal with adorable.

"Emile, my darling, my precious, my sweet sweet love," Remy declared at the beginning of their morning sols 20 class last Monday, "can I come over for thanksgiving?"

"Didn't you say you have to see your mom?" Emile whispered over his cup of tea, struggling to get comfortable. The weather got extremely cold lately, and at thirty-six degrees at eight in the morning, not even the four layers and giant thermos full of tea could keep Emile warm enough to survive morning classes.

India literally asked him if he's not supposed to be used to such temperatures, which earned her a lecture on hypersensitivity and illness caused by stress.

"But it's Linda! Emile, babe, sweetheart, darling, dollface—"

"Don't call me bubbeleh and I'll consider it."

"It'll be worth it. I promise—"

"I need to ask my mom, and my sister is coming to pick me up because I'm kinda scared of flights, and Minnesota is kind of far away."

"Alright. I don't mind."

He really hoped Nathalie would agree.

"I don't want to be here alone," Leah half-whined.

"I know, babe, but it won't be long. Trust me."

He let her talk about school for a good while more, at least until he could hear Linda screaming at her to stop holding the line. It was horrifying. He didn't remember her doing it much.

Then again, she was barely home anyway.

The call disconnected rather quickly, right on time for his appointment at the psych clinic. The grad student who claimed Remy as his personal project was supervised today by the head of the department, as part of his research, which meant Remy had to be on his best behavior.

It also meant he'd get misgendered. Which was a thing said student, whose thesis was on gender dysphoria and gender identity (same subject as his big project for AP psychology back at Bronx Science, really), made sure to not do.

This was going to be fun.

——

"You went to the Bronx High School of Science, right?"

"Yeah? Gurl, why you asking me? I told you that already."

"A 4.0 GPA, went to a gifted program in Columbia—"

"Why are you asking me questions you already know the answer to?"

"Dr. Freeman wanted to hear those for himself," Remy heard the guy - Michael, his name is Michael, stop calling him "the guy" - mutter to himself as he typed away on his laptop.

"What makes you think that you're a boy, Miss Harris?" The doctor asked, pushing his glasses up. What a prick…

"Well, considering how I was quite literally diagnosed with gender identity disorder by a licensed psychiatrist, I don't think I am. I know I am."

"And yet, you've enrolled into Harvard under the name Rebecca. Is there any explanation as to why?" Freeman looked directly at Remy. "You're an intelligent young person, and enrolling under your preferred—"

"I didn't know I could do it, and now I have, like, no idea how to change it in administration."

"Biologically speaking, Mr. Harris, the concept of sex is very non-binary." The older man's gravelly voice seemed to chill even Michael, still taking notes. Suddenly he didn't seem so evil.

"First of all," Dr. Freeman said, "in sexual species, you can have female be XX and males just be X. For example, in insects. Female birds are ZW and males are ZZ, for reptiles it's temperature differences that female or male make. In some flatworms it's a penis fencing competition. Some fish like clownfish and parrotfish can have females become males because there are no males left, and the New Mexico whiptail lizards are a female-only species who reproduce asexually. Some species, like cuttlefish, have males act like females in order to get close to the females. And fungi have thousands of sexes. And that's not even getting close to humanity."

The doctor cleared his throat and took a sip of his coffee. "You can be male because you were born female but have a 5 alpha-reductase deficiency, and so you develop a penis in puberty. You can be female because you were born with XY chromosomes but you're insensitive to androgens, or because your Y is missing the SRY gene, both of which would result in developing a female figure. You can be male because you were born with two XX chromosomes but one of them does have the SRY gene. You can be male by having two X chromosomes and one Y, or a female by having only one X chromosome. And you can be male or female by being born in the wrong body for your brain.

"As I said, there is no such thing as two biological sexes only. So I'll ask you this again. Why would you enroll as a female named Rebecca if you know that you are neither?"

Remy had no idea how to respond. The professor looked at him, straight at him, and Michael kept typing away…

"...I told you, I had no idea I could do that."

"I'll write you a note to give to Vivian in administration. She'll take care of everything, you just need to provide her with a name."

"It's Remy—"

"I hope you understand that this isn't legal, it's only official. I don't have a doctorate in psychology just to explain what's the difference between the two to my students."

Remy nodded nervously, swallowing air. "Yes sir."

——

"Your suite is so much more comfortable than mine," Emile wiggled on the couch, petting his bunny, as Remy was making him a cup of tea. "You can… clearly see Leah was here."

"The marks on the wall? Yeah… she brought her scooter with her and wouldn't stop running into the wall with it."

Emile giggled - how much cuter could this boy get? - and scratched Mycroft's head a bit. "I asked my mom and, yeah, my grandparents and my uncle and his family are coming over, so it wouldn't be that much of an issue if you came over, but…"

"But?"

"We're having thanksgiving at my grandparents' on my dad's side. So it might be a bit of an issue. I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. It's okay, we didn't plan for this or whatever. I'll watch over Leah and you take care around your family, okay?"

"Okay. Have fun with her. She'll really need it."

"I know and I'm willing to suffer for that."

The kettle started whistling. Remy filled the mug with the boiling water and took it to Emile.

Just yesterday Emile screamed "I waited five minutes and the weather didn't change, get your shit together, Boston" at the sky when it started to snow. It wasn't even that much, Remy had seen bigger storms and he was sure that Emile did too - he was from Minnesota, after all - but it was still somewhat funny. After asking, Emile explained that in Minnesota, and basically all around the Midwest, "if you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes".

Remy didn't think he meant it literally. He probably didn't.

"How's India doing?"

"Midterms."

"Cool."

Emile was muttering something to himself in a language Remy didn't understand. He let Mycroft go and the bunny just sat there, on the couch, looking happy enough.

"Hey Remy, what's the Hebrew word for thanksgiving?"

"...I'm a Christian from New Jersey. Why are you asking me?"

"I don't… I don't know. My parents are expecting me to call my cousins before thanksgiving and they don't know English or Dutch yet… not that I know that much Dutch either, but… wait, you're from New Jersey? I thought you're from Manhattan."

"Only since I was five."

"Oh. Cool."

Remy moves the bunny and sat down next to Emile, who leaned against his side and put his head on his shoulder. His hair was incredibly soft, Remy was never quite able to stop running his fingers through it, and the whole situation just… made Remy feel like everything was going to be okay. Just… don't move from this spot, where the his adorable, tiny friend was cuddling up to him and muttering to himself in a different language, and everything will be alright.

His hair smelled like jasmine and seawater. And Remy was torn between admitting to himself just how much he liked it, and wondering if Chris would be jealous.

"You went on a date, right?" Emile raised his head, his hair tickling Remy. "I just…"

"Yeah, I did." And it was a bit better than Halloween. Chris was… way more interesting when not in parties, apparently. For one, he did not talk about his crush on Harrison Ford, and he did talk quite a bit but at least it was about law school and not Indiana Jones. It was… it was great.

"Huh… that's nice." And then, "a friend once asked me on a date. I had to say no."

"Why? Was something so wrong that—"

"No… I like that guy, but… he's the same guy who always paid me to bake weed brownies for him and his friends, and that's not very appropriate, right?"

He had to do a double take. "Weed brownies?!"

"Yeah… my school was the druggie school, you know?"

"No… I didn't know."

"Yeah… it's not like my parents couldn't afford to send me where my sister went, but they were worried about how the stress would affect me so I went to a public school. And… at least I only ever sneaked vodka in water bottles and baked weed brownies, I never, like… held someone's hair out of their face in the bathroom or had to keep someone from killing themselves, which now that I say it out loud just sounds so bad and I totally would've done it if I had to but—"

"Emile, babe, you're making me worry. Like, really."

"Sorry… I never ate weed brownies, though. I'm sensitive to weed."

This… this was the thing that baffled Remy about Emile. This… tiny, pure, angelic thing, with the soft hair that always smelled like jasmine and seawater and the bright, sparkling eyes. His soft little friend whose sunny disposition never faltered, not even in the darkest of times, and whose dedication and determination shone through everything he did.

Emile Picani, the sweetest human Remy ever met, was used to sneaking vodka into school and baking weed brownies.

Fuck.

"How do you even find out that you're sensitive to weed if you don't, like, smoke weed or whatever?"

"You have to decarboxylate the weed to activate it, which basically means heating it up, and the smell gives me migraines, so… that's how I found out."

Yeah, because that's so much better.

"But I mean, good riddance. Can we watch Mulan? I want to do something…"

"Aren't you reading that Sartre thing?"

"No Exit? I already finished it." Emile sipped on his tea. "I don't… get it? I can see why Estelle and Garcin will never achieve an epiphany, but Ines came in already aware that she's amoral… can't she just… leave Hell?"

Gilliam gave the class an optional assignment, to read and analyze No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre. It wasn't even going to go into their final grade, but he did say that it might be very important to the next semester when they study Freud ("and how he almost ruined the entire field of psychology, more or less"), so Remy chose to leave it for Christmas break. Or maybe not even read it.

"It's something like sixty pages, it's shorter than Hedda Gabler or The Cherry Orchard… it's an easy—"

"Question one, what the fuck is Hedda Gabler, and question two, what cherry orchard?"

Emile's eyes lit up and he almost jumped in his seat, spilling some of his tea on his lap and causing Mycroft to hop a bit farther. "Did you ever do theatre?"

And off on a rant he went, explaining every little nuance and allegory in both the plays ("so like, back in Ibsen's time, realistic theatre was meant to portray real life and keep the three unities, so Hedda shooting herself off-stage is meant to shock the audience as well as preserve the unity of place, which is pretty much…", "you know, the reason it's called Hedda Gabler despite Hedda being married to Jorgen Tesman is to show that Hedda sees herself as the daughter of General Gabler first and the wife of Jorgen Tesman second", "the cherry orchard is never really in scene ever, so it's kind of like a fantasy, or trying to hold onto a thing that isn't there anymore, like the Russian aristocrat's status, so when middle-class Lopakhin buys the orchard and orders to start cutting it before the others even left is like an even bigger sign that the aristocracy has fallen and there is no place left for it in the modern Russian society, in the face of the upcoming bourgeoisie and their budding materialism").

It was worse than Leah talking about betta fish. Well… no it wasn't, but he couldn't bring himself to shut Emile up… he was too cute to be told to shut up.

"So I just… I don't get it. Ines should be able to pick herself up and walk out the door, so why isn't she doing it?"

Emile was out of tea by the time Remy caught him looking at him with questioning eyes and realized he'd completely zoned out.

"Maybe… societal pressure?"

"Maybe… but it still makes no sense. She's in one room with two incredibly selfish people… can I boil some more water?" Remy nodded and Emile practically jumped out of his lap. The cold immediately hit Remy with a wave of disappointment. He wanted to hold Emile just a bit longer...

"Then again," Emile kept ranting, "this is the play that coined the term ‘Hell is other people'. L'enfer, c'est les autres. De hel zijn de anderen. Hagehenom hu hazulat."

"How many languages was that…?"

"Four." Remy choked. "I don't speak Dutch or Hebrew very well, I told you that. I only know the basics because of my family. But I do know this saying in five languages. I think... My oma and opa really like saying it. But I don't remember how to say it in German."

This boy was impossible.

"No, no, I do remember it. Die Hölle, das sind die anderen."

And Remy absolutely loved him. (A bushel and a peck.)

"And I only know how to say it in German because my neighbors are German. So like… I really only speak two languages."

"That's still way more than me, babe."

"Well, enough about me! I want to hear more about your date! How awesome was it?"

Oh, it was great. Chris didn't talk only about himself, he was actually interested in listening to Remy talk about his interests, they had a lovely dinner and went to see a slightly better than okay movie (he was not going to tell Emile that The Ring gave him nightmares for three days after watching it though), and he kissed him when they got back to Harvard. Nothing big, everything was nice, and they were going on a date again in early December. Nothing could be better.

Except the voice in his head, calling him a liar.

"That sounds very nice," Emile muttered as he plopped back down next to Remy and put his cup of tea on the table. "I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun. The Two Towers and Chicago are supposed to come out in December. And I promised my sister I'll go to see both of them with her."

A comfortable silence settled in. Remy tried to focus on anything but how nice it was to cuddle Emile, especially today that all his suitemates had other obligations. It was almost time to leave for thanksgiving - those who left for thanksgiving anyway - and… it meant he wouldn't see Emile for a week.

He didn't think he was a fan of the idea.

"Can we please watch Mulan? I haven't seen it in forever!"

Remy had to oblige.

——

"Hello?" The tiny voice that came through the phone made Remy so happy, and he had no idea why. "Who's that?"

"Leah, aren't you supposed to be doing your homework?"

"Remy oh oh oh Remy I have so many things to tell you so yesterday I went to the park and I found a shiny rock and—"

"Leah, I called to tell you and Linda that I'm coming over for thanksgiving." The high-pitched scream almost ruptured his eardrum. "But you have to be on your best behavior, okay? I know it's a very hard thing to do, babe, but it's for Linda."

"Okay! I can behave very good!"

"I know you can, sweets. I just need you to promise me that you will."

"I promise that I will! Pinky promise! When you get here it'll be a pinky promise, okay?"

All that was left was to hope that thanksgiving won't be such a disaster.

If it was, though, Remy would start considering smuggling Leah with him to Cambridge.

#kylo cant write #sanders sides #remy/sleep #emile picani #keep him safe #sleep is for the weak #the remy centric prequel #tw: period appropriate transphobia #tw: mentions of drug use #tw: mentions of alcohol

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moonwalkertrance · 6 years ago

Link

Trump’s Caravan Hysteria Led to This

The president and his supporters insisted that several thousand Honduran migrants were a looming menace—and the Pittsburgh gunman took that seriously.

On Tuesday, October 16, President Donald Trump started tweeting.

“The United States has strongly informed the President of Honduras that if the large Caravan of people heading to the U.S. is not stopped and brought back to Honduras, no more money or aid will be given to Honduras, effective immediately!”

“We have today informed the countries of Honduras, Guatemala and El Salvador that if they allow their citizens, or others, to journey through their borders and up to the United States, with the intention of entering our country illegally, all payments made to them will STOP (END)!”

Vice President Mike Pence also tweeted:

“Spoke to President Hernandez of Honduras about the migrant caravan heading to the U.S. Delivered strong message from @POTUS: no more aid if caravan is not stopped. Told him U.S. will not tolerate this blatant disregard for our border & sovereignty.”

The apparent impetus for this outrage was a segment on Fox News that morning that detailed a migrant caravan thousands of miles away in Honduras. The caravan, which began sometime in mid-October, is made up of refugees fleeing violence in their home country. Over the next few weeks, Trump did his best to turn the caravan into a national emergency. Trump falsely told his supporters that there were “criminals and unknown Middle Easterners” in the caravan, a claim that had no basis in fact and that was meant to imply that terrorists were hiding in the caravan—one falsehood placed on another. Defense Secretary James Mattis ordered more troops to the border. A Fox News host took it upon herself to ask Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsenwhether there was “any scenario under which if people force their way across the border they could be shot at,” to which Nielsen responded, “We do not have any intention right now to shoot at people.”

Pence told Fox News on Friday, “What the president of Honduras told me is that the caravan was organized by leftist organizations, political activists within Honduras, and he said it was being funded by outside groups, and even from Venezuela … So the American people, I think, see through this—they understand this is not a spontaneous caravan of vulnerable people.”

The Department of Homeland Security’s Twitter account “confirmed” that within the caravan are people who are “gang members or have significant criminal histories,” without offering evidence of any such ties. Trump sought to blame the opposition party for the caravan’s existence. “Every time you see a Caravan, or people illegally coming, or attempting to come, into our Country illegally, think of and blame the Democrats for not giving us the votes to change our pathetic Immigration Laws!” Trump tweeted on October 22. “Remember the Midterms! So unfair to those who come in legally.”

In the right-wing fever swamps, where the president’s every word is worshipped, commenters began amplifying Trump’s exhortations with new details. Representative Matt Gaetz of Florida wondered whether George Soros—the wealthy Jewish philanthropist whom Trump and several members of the U.S. Senate blamed for the protests against Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, and who was recently targeted with a bomb—was behind the migrant caravan. NRATV, the propaganda organ of the National Rifle Association, linked two Republican obsessions, voter fraud and immigration. Chuck Holton told NRATV’s viewers that Soros was sending the caravan to the United States so the migrants could vote: “It’s telling that a bevy of left-wing groups are partnering with a Hungarian-born billionaire and the Venezuelan government to try to influence the 2018 midterms by sending Honduran migrants north in the thousands.” On CNN, the conservative commentator Matt Schlapp pointedly asked the anchor Alisyn Camerota, “Who’s paying for the caravan? Alisyn, who’s paying for the caravan?,” before later answering his own question: “Because of the liberal judges and other people that intercede, including George Soros, we have too much chaos at our southern border.” On Laura Ingraham’s Fox News show, one guest said, “These individuals are not immigrants—these are people that are invading our country,” as another guest asserted they were seeking “the destruction of American society and culture.”

In the meantime, much of the mainstream press abetted Trump’s effort to make the midterm election a referendum on the caravan. Popular news podcasts devoted entire episodes to the caravan. It remained on the front pages of major media websites. It was an overwhelming topic of conversation on cable news, where Trumpists freely spread disinformation about the threat the migrants posed, while news anchors displayed exasperation over their false claims, only to invite them back on the next day’s newscast to do it all over again.

In reality, the caravan was thousands of miles and weeks away from the U.S. border, shrinking in size, and unlikely to reach the U.S. before the election. If the migrants reach the U.S., they have the right under U.S. law to apply for asylum at a port of entry. If their claims are not accepted, they will be turned away. There is no national emergency; there is no ominous threat. There is only a group of desperate people looking for a better life, who have a right to request asylum in the United States and have no right to stay if their claims are rejected. Trump is reportedly aware that his claims about the caravan are false. An administration official told the Daily Beast simply, “It doesn’t matter if it’s 100 percent accurate … this is the play.” The “play” was to demonize vulnerable people with falsehoods in order to frighten Trump’s base to the polls.

Nevertheless, some took the claims of the president and his allies seriously. On Saturday morning, Shabbat morning, a gunman walked into the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh and killed 11 people. The massacre capped off a week of terrorism, in which one man mailed bombs to nearly a dozen Trump critics and another killed two black people in a grocery store after failing to force his way into a black church.

Before committing the Tree of Life massacre, the shooter, who blamed Jews for the caravan of “invaders” and who raged about it on social media, made it clear that he was furious at hias, founded as the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society, a Jewish group that helps resettle refugees in the United States. He shared posts on Gab, a social-media site popular with the alt-right, expressing alarm at the sight of “massive human caravans of young men from Honduras and El Salvador invading America thru our unsecured southern border.” And then he wrote, “hias likes to bring invaders in that kill our people. I can’t sit by and watch my people get slaughtered. Screw your optics, I’m going in.”

The people killed on Saturday were killed for trying to make the world a better place, as their faith exhorts them to do. The history of the Jewish people is one of displacement, statelessness, and persecution. What groups like hias do in helping refugees, they do with the knowledge that comes from a history of being the targets of demagogues who persecute minorities in pursuit of power.

Ordinarily, a politician cannot be held responsible for the actions of a deranged follower. But ordinarily, politicians don’t praise supporters who have mercilessly beaten a Latino man as “very passionate.” Ordinarily, they don’t offer to pay supporters’ legal bills if they assault protesters on the other side. They don’t praise acts of violence against the media. They don’t defend neo-Nazi rioters as “fine people.” They don’t justify sending bombs to their critics by blaming the media for airing criticism. Ordinarily, there is no historic surgein anti-Semitism, much of it targeted at Jewish critics, coinciding with a politician’s rise. And ordinarily, presidents do not blatantly exploit their authority in an effort to terrify white Americans into voting for their party. For the past few decades, most American politicians, Republican and Democrat alike, have been careful not to urge their supporters to take matters into their own hands. Trump did everything he could to fan the flames, and nothing to restrain those who might take him at his word.

Many of Trump’s defenders argue that his rhetoric is mere shtick—that his attacks, however cruel, aren’t taken 100 percent seriously by his supporters. But to make this argument is to concede that following Trump’s statements to their logical conclusion could lead to violence against his targets, and it is only because most do not take it that way that the political violence committed on Trump’s behalf is as limited as it currently is.

The Tree of Life shooter criticized Trump for not being racist or anti-Semitic enough. But with respect to the caravan, the shooter merely followed the logic of the president and his allies: He was willing to do whatever was necessary to prevent an “invasion” of Latinos planned by perfidious Jews, a treasonous attempt to seek “the destruction of American society and culture.”

The apparent spark for the worst anti-Semitic massacre in American history was a racist hoax inflamed by a U.S. president seeking to help his party win a midterm election. There is no political gesture, no public statement, and no alteration in rhetoric or behavior that will change this fact. The shooter might have found a different reason to act on a different day. But he chose to act on Saturday, and he apparently chose to act in response to a political fiction that the president himself chose to spread and that his followers chose to amplify.

As for those who aided the president in his propaganda campaign, who enabled him to prey on racist fears to fabricate a national emergency, who said to themselves, “This is the play”? Every single one of them bears some responsibility for what followed. Their condemnations of anti-Semitism are meaningless. Their thoughts and prayers are worthless. Their condolences are irrelevant. They can never undo what they have done, and what they have done will never be forgotten.

#ideas #Donald Trump #Robert Bowers #Pittsburgh Shooter #Jews #Immigrants #Refugees #Gun Violence #Hate Crime #Hate Speech #Racism #Politics #MagaBomber #Cesar Sayoc #Trumpism #Alt-Right #GAB

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grwangtang · 8 years ago

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woke up this morning to read this in my e-mail inbox.

context:

for those of you concerned enough to keep up with my personal problems and whinings, i’m basically struggling with my (almost completely certain) decision to stay in boston. i’m scared it carries more connotation with it than i think it does: an abandonment of my home church family, a desertion of my little brother in his time of high need in his educational career, a neglect of my beautiful parents and my beloved aunt as they age significantly. a betrayal to my students in my school, in the city that i love, in the state that i love.. turning my back on the midwest and all its people who matter to me-myfriendsmyfamilymyworkmychurch--and choosing instead to stay in an elite, liberal, east coast city.

i can’t tell if all this guilt stems from me, or from peer pressure from those at home. there have been multiple Christians from my church family--all well intentioned, good hearted people--who have told me to come back. who joke around about “so see you next year?” or who sit me down on the couch and tell me that the best thing for my Christian life is to be around my companions and church family. i can think of at least four people who have suggested/advised routes that would bring me back to ohio, who make me feel even worse for wanting to stay here in Boston, and who unknowingly have added to my guilt.

i’m also unclear how much of my choice is self-driven or God-led (which i think contributes to the stress/pressure/chaos/guilt). i can’t hear His voice. i feel like i’ve been trying to pray, trying to journal, trying to read my Bible, all in hopes of Him speaking to me--with little result. which is pretty frustrating.

today:

it’s been raining and grey and dreary all week. woke up this morning exhausted. i have had two midterms due this week, both group projects that involved scrambling, covering others’ asses, finishing off stuff that wasn’t assigned to me. i also have a law school final on saturday--a 9am to 5pm negotiation simulation, with a team of law students pitted against another team of law students, and all the hours of prep that go into an eight hour negotiation. also it’s my best friend shana’s birthday this weekend...meaning she wants to celebrate and i want to celebrate with her.

i take my LSATs in june. i am applying to jobs. i just made it into a second round for a prospective program, but i also need to complete a task (due by monday) to make it to third round. i am slowly crashing and burning, losing sleep and stressed and just so unclear what my next steps should be.

and today, this was in my e-mail.

today, this was the reminder sitting in my inbox from my church at home--from our daily newsletter.

“‘By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going. – Hebrews 11:8′ “God’s appearing attracts us so that we have faith to walk the way of faith and willingly give ourselves to Him. We do this not based on logic but because the Lord calls us onward. He appears and we walk. He appears again and we walk further.”

it was such a needed reminder. it is actually biblical to go out, not knowing where you are going. it is okay to not know. He does not always speak in certainty and clear cut directions--actually, on the contrary, He almost never speaks like that. instead, He just tells you to go--and it’s up to you to obey, to go out not knowing where you’re going.

i need to stop going to God for His answer and His leading. i just need to see Him. that’s enough.

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davarmidbar · 8 years ago

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What does Judaism mean to me?

Well, this is an essay I was supposed to write over a month ago, a midterm essay of sorts for the conversion class I’m in. I sat down and thought it would be rather quick work. But, alas.

What. Does. Judaism. Mean. To Me. Anyway.

Well, here it is now. Sorry, It’s long. But I really mean all of it.

I believe that we will win. I believe that we will win. Standing in a crowd, surging with energy. I’ve seen those words written so many times as a signoff at the end of manifestos and action directives. But I’ve never been in the crowd chanting it myself. And I felt its power like I never have before. I believe that we will win. pumping our fists and reaching as hard as we can to envision the world as we want it to be. What’s that feeling?

When the days are dark and dry, or dark and damp, when you feel all alone and trapped in your own cycles of self-sabotage and you wonder, ‘have I ever lived my best life?’ ‘Can I give anything positive to the world?’ ‘How can I not just be a tool of oppression?’ ‘How can I find beauty in this world? How can I find truth?’ When we’re pushing ourselves up against the world we’ve created. This beautiful icy world in which scientism reigns and which I fiercely defend.

But, at the end of the Twilight People prayer, it says, “We cannot always define; we can always say a blessing.” And that’s what this Jewish path offers me, it offers me magic to infuse my day and everything I do, and it offers me an escape hatch when it feels impossible to catch my breath.

Judaism allows me to commune with ancient texts, to make magic in the home and in the community. It helps me shape my days and my weeks, it makes me feel closer to the person I love. Candlelight, spices, baking sweet bread, simmering soups, tarot cards, watching the stars, rose quartz and sage, dreaming of the desert and waking up early to watch the sunrise. Learning Hebrew and forgetting, learning it again. Arguing, arguing, arguing. . . arguing.

The roots of Judaism and its ancient contours pulls me in, holding up a kiddush cup and looking at all my loved ones around the table, proud to finally be able to recited kiddush all on my own. Making a haggadah and leading a seder with my sweetheart. Feeling fully held by the tradition. Feeling welcomed as a vulgar skeptic, a witch, a queer, a woman, a radical, an agent of chaos.

When you’re looking into one another’s faces, trying to reach deep inside yourself for belief, and you hear it in the air, “I believe that we will win.”

Judaism also means to me. . . a deep sense of alienation and confusion, and, since we’re being honest here today, revulsion. The Jewish Religion is one of many rough approximations of how to commune with a divine spirit within us all and which we can tap into only when we come together and try to mend this broken world, hold each close and raise each other up. And this rough approximation, collected and changed over a few thousand years, is so richly steeped in xenophobia and oppression that it would be reasonable to wonder, “is this worth saving? is it possible to resuscitate what is powerful in judaism without perpetuating oppression?”

Feminist scholarship can and has given me guidance in approaching the Jewish tradition to find what it means to me and what it could mean to me. Elisabeth Schussler Fiorenza (I believe) came up with the language of a dual methodology of “the hermeneutics of suspicion” and “the hermeneutics of remembrance.” And carrying these both with me, like little handwritten notes stuffed into my pants pockets, helps me through.

Judith Plaskow: “In discussing the deep-rooted sexism of the Jewish tradition, I use the Tanakh (Hebrew Scriptures) to demonstrate women’s silence in Jewish writings. In doing so, I presuppose a dual and paradoxical relationship to the biblical text. I take for granted my critical freedom in relation to the Bible; but I also take for granted my connection to it, the value of examining its viewpoint and concerns. I pronounce the Bible patriarchal; but in taking the time to explore it, I claim it as a text that matters to me. . .

A hermeneutics of suspicion “takes as its starting point the assumption that biblical texts and their interpretations are androcentric and serve patriarchal functions.” Since both the Tanakh and rabbinic literature come from male-dominated societies and are attributed to male authors, they need to be examined for androcentric assumptions and content, and for their attention, or lack of it, to women’s experiences and concerns. . .

A “hermeneutics of remembrance” insists that the same sources that are regarded with suspicion can also be used to reconstruct Jewish women’s history.” **

In short, Judaism wraps me in warmth, it makes me believe in magic, and it makes me believe in the power of people. It is a new well of energy for me, who normally relies on analytic rigor (or a burst of overwhelming volume masquerading as charisma) to get things done. This is a new kind of thinking and new way of organizing my energy in a weekly way. Mostly, though, it’s about love, poetry, magic, finding that the future has an ancient heart.** Standing in a crowd, screaming as one, daring to believe in a better world and daring ourselves to be up for it. and quiet moments of reflection by candlelight with my beloved, eating challah i made and letting time stand still. That’s what Judaism means to me.

*Judith Plaskow Standing at Sinai, 13-15, quoting and expanding on Fiorenza.

**[the future has an ancient heart, from Cheryl Strayed]

#judaism #queer #conversion

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lilystonberg-blog · 5 years ago

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final evaluation

Select three writing exercises that you believe most fully represent your unique identity as a writer. 2. One of these exercises can be a revision of an exercise submitted for the midterm. 3. Include a 200-250-word “reflective statement” explaining why you selected these three pieces in particular

1.I was so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing Passover break. This was most definitely a break that was filled with tons of laughter and joy. However, with that being said, not everything can always be picture perfect, and there were definitely some “low points” within my wonderful vacation (which I will get to later).

This break was the first time I got to see my family since coming to Israel for my semester abroad. I can confidently say that since my first day of arrival (on January 15th) I had been counting down the days until I got to see my family in April. If it is not already obvious from that seemingly dramatic statement, I am a huge “home body”. Going abroad was something I even questioned if I would be able to do, considering I love being at home so much. But, thank goodness for Facetime and international phone plans which allow me to be in contact with my family for most hours of the day. Anyways, fast forward the quickest 3 months of my life, and the day had finally arrived on April 12th where I would fly from Tel Aviv to meet my mom, dad, and sister in Rome, Italy. I didn’t even care that it meant I would have to wake up at 3:45am to catch my flight from Ben Gurion because I was just so beyond excited to hug my parents and see them in person. We spent 12 days together traveling throughout Italy, and it was maybe one of my most favorite and memorable trips I’ve taken. Our trip started in Rome, and from Rome we traveled to Positano, Capri, Florence and Venice (yes, all of those places in just 12 days). This magical vacation was filled with some of the most delicious food I have ever had, and this topic of food is what leads me to answering the question of “what was my high point of my break?”. On the day that we traveled from Rome to Positano, my dad rented a car to drive us the 3 hours south from Rome to the Amalfi Coast. It was a beautiful and scenic drive down, but what made it even more special was that we planned a stop 2 hours into the ride at a vineyard in a small southern Italy community. On our stop we had an unbelievable wine tasting and tour of the vineyard, and ate some of the most mouth watering pasta I had ever had. It was seriously so special and peaceful and was definitely a major highlight of my vacation.

Considering I’ve explained just how much I love my family, I am sure it comes to no surprise that my low point of the break was when I had to say bye to my family. I knew that it was only a few weeks more before I would come home and be with them again, but after such a great week with them, it made leaving them so difficult. I am so grateful for such an amazing trip, and even more thankful that I have such an awesome family that makes saying goodbye so hard.

Choose two objects that have become significant or meaningful to you during your time in Tel Aviv. These can be objects you brought with you or ones acquired here.

2.Upon studying abroad in Tel Aviv, one of my intentions was always to get my wrist “stacked” with great new jewelry from my travels. Clearly, this was on the forefront of my mind from the second I arrived, and on one of the first few days in my new home me and my friends went to Neve Tzedek for the day. Neve Tzedek is known for adorable little shops (many which are jewelry selling stores). Right from the beginning of my trip I had a perfect opportunity to start my jewelry collection, and it began in the heart of Neve Tzedek. One of my friends who studied in Tel Aviv last year told me that visiting the store Just Believe was a must, so I made sure to check it out while I was in Neve Tzedek. All of their pieces are dainty and beautiful and I wanted to find just the right piece to start my collection. I did a walk around the store and didn’t find anything that caught my eye, until I turned the corner and saw a layout of simple yet gorgeous bangle bracelets. All of the bracelets had hebrew/english writing with an inspiring quote on each of them. I knew this was the perfect piece of jewelry for me, because it was important for me to have some positive words of encouragement as I began a new journey abroad. I landed on this gold bangle bracelet which says “always believe that something wonderful is about to happen”. I knew that purchasing this bracelet would not only be a great way to start my new jewelry collection, but it could also serve as a reminder for me to remain positive and in good spirits during my travels abroad.

3. It may be hard to read, but my necklace I’m wearing in this photo says “ahava” which translates to “love” in english. Prior to studying abroad I always wore a different hebrew necklace which was my name Lily in hebrew letters. That necklace which was just a combination of the letters “lamed, yud, lamed,yud” really didn’t hold much meaning in my everyday life, and I found myself not loving the necklace the more that I wore it. I knew it was time for a change in my necklace and after recently learning the meaning of love in Ulpan I thought it was perfect for a new necklace! This new necklace “ahava” is one which I carry closely to my heart (literally and figuratively), and I often find myself holding onto the necklace in moments of weakness or doubt. My new necklace is the perfect piece for my study abroad experience because it is a constant reminder to always have love, spread love and radiate love :)

200-250 reflective statement:

I think it is pretty clear through these writing samples of mine that there is a theme of including personal details in all of my pieces. I never noticed this pattern in my writing, but after analyzing my writing more in depth throughout this semester, it has become quite obvious that I tend to include my true feelings and leave no judgement left out. It’s pretty funny to see this personality of mine come through in my writing, and most people would say that my personality is instantly clear in person too. I think it’s a positive in my writing that I am able to add such a personal touch to my pieces, but I can also understand how sometimes it could inhibit my writing because it could make the pieces too biased or subjective. My biggest take-away from our class this Spring is related to this idea exactly! I have realized that it is important to always present your best foot forward, and always be true to your authentic self in your writing. Being my most natural self in my writing is clearly an easy task for me, and I am so proud of my writing accomplishments!

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bambinotj-blog · 7 years ago

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Day 2.0- March 22, 2013

E and J had been told (often) that they should expect the worst at night, and should be prepared to actually sleep again in about 18 years. TJ proved to be a bit of a contrarian and developed a nice routine, only crying when he needed to be changed and was hungry, never just because. Though E and J expect that will happen in the future, TJ decided to ease us into our first night of parenthood. We'll let you know how night two goes... But, today was a busy day with our first trip to the Pediatrician!

Baby TJ got a big thumbs up from the doctor!

After the doctor, and a quick bite to eat for TJ (E and J had to wait till they got back to the room), we visited the wonderful people at our attorney's office who helped bring TJ into our lives, they loved him (but really, who wouldn't? Just look at the face!) We also found out that we unfortunately we still can't cross the Florida state line or it becomes kidnapping - so, if all goes well, our goal is to be back home by Tuesday.

Tomorrow we will say good bye to Birth Mother M, and Baby TJ's Birth Grandmother and drive to the Florida border - so that we are that much closer to home when we get the all clear from our home state ICPC approvers.

J would also like to note that little TJ apparently understood the concept of 'J has to take his Hebrew midterm' and slept the entire time. J has chosen to interpret this to mean that TJ is looking forward to receiving a set of Hebrew and Greek wooden alphabet/aleph-bet blocks.

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everettwilkinson · 7 years ago

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POLITICO Playbook: STATE DEPT issues ‘worldwide caution’ after Trump announcement

THE STATE DEPARTMENT has issued a “worldwide caution” for U.S. citizens traveling the world. MATT LEE, the AP’s longtime diplomatic correspondent (@APDiploWriter), says: “The last time the @StateDept issued a ‘Worldwide Caution’ because of a US policy decision was March 2003 at the start of the Iraq war.” The State Department memo http://bit.ly/2B0IFkY

AP/GAZA CITY, at 4:18 a.m.: “GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip (AP) – Hamas leader calls for new uprising against Israel in wake of US decision to recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s capital.”

Story Continued Below

— ADELSON’S PAPER — ISRAEL HAYOM FRONT PAGE: In English: “Thank you, Mr. President! Jerusalem” (the “usa” in Jerusalem is colored with the American flag). In Hebrew: “The capital of Israel” http://bit.ly/2jYPwAZ

WSJ EDITORIAL — “The Reality of Jerusalem”: “Arab leaders denounced the Embassy move, but we wonder how long the fury will last. The Sunni Arabs also confront the threats of Islamic terrorism and Iranian imperialism, and the Palestinians are a third order concern. If the movement of an American Embassy that was signaled more than 20 years ago is enough to scuttle peace talks, then maybe the basis for peace doesn’t yet exist.” http://on.wsj.com/2AZOrU3

Good Thursday morning. EXPECTED TODAY: House Republican leaders tell us they feel confident they will pass a bill to fund government for two weeks. Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.) is widely expected to resign. And Congressional leaders head to the White House for fiscal talks.

The most reliable politics newsletter.

By signing up you agree to receive email newsletters or alerts from POLITICO. You can unsubscribe at any time.

TRUTH BOMB: THE NEXT MONTH IS GOING TO BE A MESS — It looks like Congress is going to avoid a government shutdown this week. But this is only the beginning of a very, very messy month for Republican leaders. Top GOP lawmakers, at the moment, are not completely certain how they’ll fund the government when funding expires on Dec. 22. One idea bouncing around is for the House to send the Senate a bill it won’t even be able to take up — a yearlong bill that increases military spending but doesn’t bump domestic spending. Conservatives are itching for House Republican leaders to stand firm when the Senate rejects its opening funding salvo later this month.

— ALSO TOUGH: Republicans and Democrats are almost certain to cut a deal to boost spending, renew CHIP — the massive children’s health program and bolster Obamacare. Some of that could come at the end of the month, or next month, on the back of an omnibus spending package, which will lump together 12 spending bills. The mood isn’t good at the moment, and it only seems to be getting worse. Optimists hope tax reform makes all Republicans happy. Color us a tad skeptical.

AROUND THE TAX REFORM HORN …

— HOUSE/SENATE DIFFERENCES: “Tax Bill Is Likely to Undo Health Insurance Mandate, Republicans Say,” by NYT’s Robert Pear and Tom Kaplan: “House and Senate negotiators thrashing out differences over a major tax bill are likely to eliminate the insurance coverage mandate at the heart of the Affordable Care Act, lawmakers say.

“But a deal struck by Senate Republican leaders and Senator Susan Collins of Maine to mitigate the effect of the repeal has been all but rejected by House Republicans, potentially jeopardizing Ms. Collins’s final yes vote. ‘I don’t think the American people voted for bailing out big insurance,’ said Representative Dave Brat, Republican of Virginia, who opposes a separate measure to lower insurance premiums that Ms. Collins thought she had secured.” http://nyti.ms/2AZIhU0

— THE FIGHT OVER 20 PERCENT: “Corporate rate cut in tax bill could change as GOP hunts for votes,” by Seung Min Kim, Nancy Cook and Bernie Becker: “In a closed-door meeting Wednesday with CEOs from the Business Roundtable, Republican Sen. Pat Toomey and White House economic adviser Gary Cohn in separate sessions told the crowd their strong preference was to keep the corporate rate at 20 percent, where it is now in the legislation, even as lawmakers were under intense pressure to find new revenue, according to three people familiar with the meeting.

“Both men left the crowd with the impression that the corporate rate was a target in the hunt for that revenue and could rise as a result. … Each percentage point the corporate rate increases is worth about $100 billion over a decade. The top corporate rate is now 35 percent. …

“Boosting the corporate tax rate could open a floodgate of other demands from lawmakers seeking to get provisions in the tax bill. Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), for instance, told POLITICO on Wednesday that if the rate goes up to 22 percent ‘and they don’t use some portion of it to help’ boost the child tax credit, ‘I’m going to have a big problem.’” http://politi.co/2nARInh

— K STREET INC.: “Lawmakers face pressure to save deductions for mortgage interest and state and local taxes,” by Theo Meyer, Aaron Lorenzo and Colin Wilhelm: “Lobbyists have launched an all-out effort to save tax breaks and protect powerful industries as the Republicans’ tax overhaul lurches toward President Donald Trump’s desk. Builders and real estate interests are pushing to save the mortgage interest deduction. Businesses are fighting to strip out a last-minute provision inserted into the Senate bill that would preserve the corporate alternative minimum tax. And a coalition of trade groups and local government leaders is urging Republicans not to cut the state and local tax deduction.

“With Trump pressing Congress to send him a bill before Christmas, lobbyists must decide where they want to focus their efforts over the next week. Some are working the senators and representatives who will make up the conference committee charged with ironing out the differences between the House and Senate bill. Others are working to persuade Republican leaders or leaning on the members of Congress whose constituents may see their taxes go up if changes aren’t made to the bill.” http://politi.co/2nCatqu

FIRST IN PLAYBOOK — TAX AIR WARS IN NEW YORK – 45Committee, a group backed by the Adelson and Ricketts families, is launching ads against House GOP members who opposed both the tax bill and Obamacare repeal. The first ad — on which the group says it’s spending six figures — criticizes Rep. Dan Donovan (R-N.Y.) for saying he is opposed to Obamacare and supports a tax overhaul, but voting against them. It’s part of 45Committee’s $10 million effort on tax reform, a representative of the group said. The ad’s narrator ends the spot by saying “If he won’t keep his word and support tax reform, how can we ever trust him again?” The ad http://bit.ly/2Ah695L

— SCOOP: AMERICAN ACTION NETWORK is putting $2 million on TV, explaining what they believe the tax bill would do for 24 districts across the country. The ad http://bit.ly/2joVCeo

WSJ’S KRISTINA PETERSON and KATE DAVIDSON: “House Republicans Weigh Linking Debt Ceiling Increase to Spending Bill”: “Rep. Doug Collins of Georgia, a member of House GOP leadership and the head of a working group of House Republicans on the debt limit, said lawmakers were considering increasing the debt ceiling as part of the bill funding the government for the rest of the fiscal year, known as an omnibus.

“GOP leaders are likely to seek to raise the debt limit enough to last at least through next November’s midterm elections, lawmakers and aides said. They will have to act, likely by March, to avoid a default.

“‘There’s just going to be an omnibus at some point, probably after the first of the year,’ Mr. Collins said in an interview this week. ‘Probably there’ll be some debt ceiling discussions with the White House [going] into that bigger omnibus bill,’ he said, but noted that the group of 23 House Republicans hadn’t reached a final decision.” http://on.wsj.com/2nBwOoh

****** A message from PhRMA: A medicine’s path from the biopharmaceutical company to the patient involves many entities across the supply chain. A new report examines how money flows through this system – which includes wholesalers, pharmacy benefit managers, pharmacies and insurers – and how that impacts what patients pay at the pharmacy. Read more. http://onphr.ma/2kgd6Nu ******

IF YOU READ ONE THING – POLITICO MAGAZINE INVESTIGATION: “The Environmental Scandal in Scott Pruitt’s Backyard: It’s one of the dirtiest places in America. Former residents of Tar Creek, Oklahoma, want to know why Trump’s EPA chief didn’t prosecute allegations of wrongdoing during a federal buyout program,” by Malcolm Burnley in Picher, Oklahoma: “Tar Creek, Oklahoma, is breathtaking in a terrible way: At one time the world’s deepest source of lead and zinc, the three-town region is now a cratered landscape so poisonous that no one, aside from 10 holdouts, can live there. Mountains of ashlike ‘chat,’ a toxic residue from lead-zinc milling, rise majestically among the remains of homes torn from their foundations. Abandoned pets forage around the ruins. A child’s teddy bear lies sprawled in a ghostly living room. A gorilla statue fronts an empty high school, atop a sign proclaiming ‘1A Football State Champs, 1984.’

“Tar Creek is also part of the environmental legacy of one of the state’s—and nation’s—leading politicians, Senator Jim Inhofe, and his longtime ally, Scott Pruitt, the former Oklahoma attorney general who is now head of President Donald Trump’s [EPA]. After the EPA struggled to clean up the area, in 2006, Inhofe endorsed a plan in which a trust overseen by local citizens would use federal dollars to purchase homes and businesses in the toxic region so residents could move elsewhere. Then, when the plan proved so problematic that it spawned more than a half-dozen civil lawsuits and an audit into possible criminal wrongdoing, Pruitt, as the state’s attorney general, invoked an exception to state freedom-of-information laws to keep the audit from being an open public record.

“Now, that decision is coming into new light as many Oklahomans clamor for the audit to be released, suggesting that its revelations will prove embarrassing to Inhofe, who played a key role in designing the buyout plan, and cast doubt on Pruitt’s decision not to move forward with charges.” http://politi.co/2kuwKFw

ATTN. DETROIT — “John Conyers III was arrested for domestic abuse but not prosecuted,” by NBC News’ Andrew Blankstein in LA: “John Conyers III, a Detroit hedge fund manager named as a possible successor to his scandal-rocked father, Rep. John Conyers, was arrested in Los Angeles this year on suspicion of domestic violence, but prosecutors declined to charge him, according to documents obtained by NBC News. … Conyers III, 27, was arrested on Feb. 15 at a Los Angeles residence on suspicion of violence against his girlfriend after the alleged victim called police. … The girlfriend said that Conyers III suspected her of cheating after he went through her computer. She told police that he ‘body slammed her on the bed and then on the floor where he pinned her down and spit on her,’ the report says.” http://nbcnews.to/2zUliWp

FOR YOUR RADAR — “N. Korea says war is inevitable as allies continue war games,” by AP’s Kim Tong-Hyung in Seoul, South Korea: “North Korea says a nuclear war on the Korean Peninsula has become a matter of when, not if, as it continued to lash out at a massive joint military exercise between the United States and South Korea involving hundreds of advanced warplanes. In comments attributed to an unnamed Foreign Ministry spokesman, North Korea also claimed high-ranked U.S. officials, including CIA Director Mike Pompeo, have further confirmed American intent for war with a series of ‘bellicose remarks.’” http://bit.ly/2iznFXY

JARED WATCH — “Kushner bets he can have it both ways on Jerusalem move,” by Annie Karni: “Jared Kushner is betting the house on a risky strategy that Middle East experts worry will derail any future Israeli-Palestinian peace deal — as well as what remains of the powerful son-in-law’s shrinking West Wing portfolio. He privately encouraged President Donald Trump’s announcement Wednesday that ‘Jerusalem is Israel’s capital,’ which was seen by some experts in the region as a setback for peace efforts led by Kushner and his small team.

“The group has made dozens of trips to the region and spent hours on listening tours, working to gain the trust of the Palestinians and the broader Arab world. ‘It is very, very hard to imagine how that peace effort can be continued,’ said Ghaith al-Omari, who served as an adviser to the Palestinian Authority’s negotiating team from 1999 to 2002. ‘All the Arab leaders who have been cultivating relations with the new administration will be forced to come out very strongly against this.’ But a person close to Kushner said he was forceful in his backing of the move. ‘Encouraging would be an understatement,’ the person said. ‘It was him.’” http://politi.co/2k3bEdr

THE BACK STORY — “Inside the demise of Al Franken,” by Elana Schor and Seung Min Kim: “Al Franken weathered six women’s sexual misconduct allegations without hearing a single resignation call from his fellow Democratic senators. No. 7 broke the dam. The Democratic women of the Senate had been talking among themselves about the Franken allegations for weeks, one Democratic aide said. None, however, went further than to call for a Senate Ethics Committee probe of the Minnesota senator, who many of them had considered a close friend.

“That stance became increasingly untenable as the accusations against Franken piled up. In calls and texts, the female senators eventually came to an unstated agreement, according to another aide familiar with their discussions: The next credible story of misconduct in a credible news outlet would would prompt them to call for Franken’s resignation. When POLITICO reported Wednesday that a former Democratic congressional aide said Franken tried to forcibly kiss her in 2006, the aide said, it ‘was the tipping point.’

“The first public resignation nudge came from Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), a champion for reform of Capitol Hill’s sexual harassment policy who one day earlier publicly declined to push Franken. Six more Senate Democratic women followed, with head-snapping speed. ‘I think many people have been talking about this for some time. And we all responded with what we had been feeling today,’ Sen. Patty Murray (D-Wash.) said after she said Franken should step aside. ‘It wasn’t coordinated, it just happened.’” http://politi.co/2iXZ2bb

THE REPLACEMENT — “Female lieutenant governor expected to replace Franken if he resigns,” by Maggie Severns: “Minnesota Gov. Mark Dayton is expected to appoint his lieutenant governor and close ally, Tina Smith, to Al Franken’s seat if the Democratic senator resigns on Thursday, three people familiar with the Democratic governor’s thinking said. But that appointment would be just the start of a huge upheaval in Minnesota.

“Part of the reason Smith could be heading to the Senate, the sources said, is because she has indicated no interest in running for Congress in the past and would not run for the remainder of Franken’s term, which expires in 2020, in a 2018 special election. That would clear the way for a wide-open Democratic primary next year if Franken steps down.” http://politi.co/2BQf7UM

FIRST PERSON – TINA DUPUY in The Atlantic, “I Believe Franken’s Accusers Because He Groped Me, Too: The Democratic Party needs to stand with women who have been harassed—and not defend the politicians who abused them.” http://theatln.tc/2iZhZu9

RUSSIA WATCH — “Trump Jr. cites attorney-client privilege in not answering panel’s questions about discussions with his father,” by Kyle Cheney: “Donald Trump Jr. on Wednesday cited attorney-client privilege to avoid telling lawmakers about a conversation he had with his father, President Donald Trump, after news broke this summer that the younger Trump — and top campaign brass — had met with Russia-connected individuals in Trump Tower during the 2016 campaign.

“Though neither Trump Jr. nor the president is an attorney, Trump Jr. told the House Intelligence Committee that there was a lawyer in the room during the discussion, according to the committee’s top Democrat, Rep. Adam Schiff of California. Schiff said he didn’t think it was a legitimate invocation of attorney-client privilege. ‘I don’t believe you can shield communications between individuals merely by having an attorney present,’ he said, after the committee’s lengthy interview with Trump Jr. ‘That’s not the purpose of attorney-client privilege.’” http://politi.co/2kusF43

TRUMP’S THURSDAY — The president is meeting with Republican senators and RNC Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel. He is also signing a proclamation for National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day. In the afternoon he will meet with congressional leaders and former Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton. He and the First Lady will also host a Hanukkah reception.

THE JUICE…

— FIRST IN PLAYBOOK – TOM LOBIANCO, an AP White House reporter, has signed a deal to write a book on Vice President Mike Pence. LoBianco has covered the former governor of Indiana for multiple news organizations, including the AP and the Indianapolis Star, since 2011. The book was sold by Bridget Matzie of Aevitas Creative Management to Julia Cheiffetz of Dey Street Books, an imprint of HarperCollins.

— JUSTIN MYERS has been hired as the CEO of For Our Future and For Our Future Action Fund. For Our Future was founded in 2016, when it ran a $60 million ground operation to help progressive candidates. He most recently has been SVP at the Pivot Group and is an alum of DCCC, Kay Hagan and the New Jersey Democratic State Committee, where he was ED.

— THE WING, a New York-based women’s co-working and social club, held a “welcome” dinner at 1789 last night. It is opening its D.C. outpost in Georgetown early next year. SPOTTED: Sens. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.), Heidi Heitkamp (D-N.D.) and Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), Audrey Gelman, Giovanna Lockhart, Dayna Grayson, Alyssa Mastromonaco, Edith Gregson, Juleanna Glover, Kasie Hunt, Kristen Welker, Annie Karni, Pia Carusone, Susan Tynan, Tammy Haddad and Katie Glueck.

FUN VIDEO — @TheDailyShow: “Trump’s Best Words of 2017” – 1-min. video http://bit.ly/2kvGTSs (h/t Matt Negrin)

HAPPENING TONIGHT — Our first live podcast taping is TONIGHT at 7 p.m. at Sixth and I. Our inaugural guests: MICHAEL BARBARO, host of the New York Times’ hit podcast “The Daily,” DCCC EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR DAN SENA and NRCC EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR JOHN ROGERS. And a panel of POLITICO stars: RACHAEL BADE, SEUNG MIN KIM and ANNIE KARNI. Get your tickets now! http://bit.ly/2hWK7tF

PHOTO DU JOUR: A motorist on Highway 101 watches flames from the Thomas fire leap above the roadway north of Ventura, Calif., on Dec. 6. | Noah Berger/AP Photo

THE LATEST ON THE BAN — “Appeals court considers legality of latest Trump travel ban,” by Josh Gerstein: “A federal appeals court gave a somewhat friendlier reception Wednesday to President Donald Trump’s latest travel ban order, just two days after the Supreme Court allowed the policy to be implemented in full for the first time. A three-judge panel of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals met in Seattle to hear arguments over an injunction against varied travel restrictions Trump issued in September on citizens of six majority Muslim countries, as well as North Korea and Venezuela.” http://politi.co/2jm0bWL

JUST POSTED — “The surgeon general and his brother: A family’s painful reckoning with addiction,” by Andrew Joseph in STAT News: http://bit.ly/2j0ZYvw

HMM – “VA cuts program for homeless vets after touting Trump’s commitment,” by Arthur Allen and Lorraine Woellert: “Four days after Veterans Affairs Secretary David Shulkin held a big Washington event to tout the Trump administration’s promise to house all homeless vets, the agency did an about-face, telling advocates it was pulling resources from a major housing program. The VA said it was essentially ending a special $460 million program that has dramatically reduced homelessness among chronically sick and vulnerable veterans.

“Instead, the money would go to local VA hospitals that can use it as they like, as long as they show evidence of dealing with homelessness. Anger exploded on a Dec. 1 call that was arranged by Shulkin’s Advisory Committee on Homeless Veterans to explain the move. Advocates for veterans, state officials and even officials from HUD, which co-sponsors the program, attacked the decision, according to five people who were on the call.” http://politi.co/2nCuQ6L

VALLEY TALK — “Silicon Valley Investor Shervin Pishevar Accused Of Spreading False Information To Cover Up Alleged Sexual Misconduct,” by BuzzFeed’s Ryan Mac: “Venture capitalist Shervin Pishevar, who has been accused by multiple unnamed women of sexual misconduct in a recent news report, is now being accused by a Republican-affiliated opposition research firm of spreading false information about it in an attempt to cover up his alleged wrongdoings. In a bizarre twist on Wednesday, Definers Public Affairs — which Pishevar is suing for allegedly helping to spread a false police report that accuses him of rape — filed a motion to dismiss the investor’s suit in full.

“That motion, made in San Francisco Superior Court, argues that Pishevar’s lawsuit should be thrown out under California’s anti-Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation (anti-SLAPP) law, which was designed to prevent litigation that is simply meant to silence or intimidate critics by burying them under legal costs.” http://bzfd.it/2BH5Rl2

ZACK STANTON in POLITICO Magazine: “John Conyers Was An Icon. Then He Lost His Way: It’s time to reckon with the legacy of a man who saw so much and stayed too long”: http://politi.co/2B8OgX3

DESSERT — “A history of the final dying days of the power suit,” by WaPo’s Robin Givhan: “Douglas Heye wears suits. Like a lot of men, he gives a fair amount of consideration to the way those suits are styled. Unlike a lot of men, he is willing and able to break down those considerations into specifics. ‘I like a pocket square, but I generally don’t wear one with a tie,’ says Heye, a former Republican strategist, now a CNN contributor. ‘If I’m wearing a tie, three out of four times it’s blue. I like blue and I’ve been told it works for me. … If I’m wearing a jacket and no tie, I always like a pocket square. I think it’s a little bit more dressy. It shows a little bit of effort.’

“Effort is important. The whole reason for wearing the suit, he says, is to set a tone. He recently attended a meeting where he knew everyone else would be casual. But he couldn’t bring himself to show up in khakis and a golf shirt. A suit, he reasoned, signaled a certain seriousness. ‘But I don’t know,’ he says. ‘Maybe it means something to me and not the viewer.’” http://wapo.st/2Akck9h

MEDIAWATCH — “ABC reprimands producer for giving data to Trump campaign,” by Michael Calderone: “In their new book ‘Let Trump Be Trump,’ campaign insiders Corey Lewandowski and David Bossie wrote that Chris Vlasto — then-executive producer of ‘Good Morning America’ and now senior executive producer for investigative reporting — called Bossie, Trump’s deputy campaign manager, at 5:01 p.m. on election night with information being shared within a consortium of the Associated Press and the major TV networks. …

“Bossie had known Vlasto for decades, going back to when Bossie was a Republican House investigator in the 1990s and Vlasto was covering the Clinton Whitewater investigations, according to the book. Vlasto was considered for a senior communications position in the Trump White House in the weeks after the election before pulling himself out of consideration.” http://politi.co/2BayJWQ

–PER MICHAEL CALDERONE IN MORNING MEDIA: “Doyle McManus is taking a buyout from the Los Angeles Times after 39 years with the paper. He said in a note to friends that he’ll write occasional op-ed columns for the paper as a contributing writer, and that he plans to do more long-form pieces — and possibly a book.”

SPOTTED: Donald Rumsfeld in Farragut Square yesterday after getting a haircut

SPOTTED at the annual American Defense International holiday party at the Hotel George hosted by defense lobbyists Van Hipp and Michael Herson: Rick Harrison, star of History Channel’s “Pawn Stars,” Ed Nixon, brother of former President Richard Nixon, former Virginia Governor, RNC Chair and presidential candidate Jim Gilmore, Reps. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-Fla.), Adam Schiff (D-Calif.), Adam Smith (D-Wash.), Joe Wilson (R-S.C.), Jim Banks (R-Ind.), Scott Taylor (R-Va.), Bill Shuster (R-Pa.), Pete Visclosky (D-Ind.), Bradley Byrne (R-Ala.), Martha McSally (R-Ariz.), Charlie Crist (D-Fla.), Mario Diaz-Balart (R-Fla.), and Mike Turner (R-Ohio).

TRANSITIONS — “Cruz chief of staff leaves Capitol Hill,” by Seung Min Kim: “Sen. Ted Cruz’s chief of staff is leaving Capitol Hill after more than a year leading the Texas Republican’s congressional operation in Washington and in his home state. David Polyansky, 46, came on board as Cruz’s chief of staff following the Republican National Convention in 2016 at a time when the senator re-focused his energies on Texas following his unsuccessful presidential campaign.

“Now, Polyansky is returning to Houston, where his family resides, and staying on as a senior adviser for Cruz’s re-election campaign in 2018. … Pre Shah, currently Cruz’s chief counsel, will take over for Polyansky as the senator’s chief of staff. Cruz’s legislative director, Steve Chartan, will become deputy chief of staff while keeping his legislative duties.” http://politi.co/2AyC0Ou

— SPOTTED: Cruz, Polyansky and Scott Reed in a booth at Capital Grille last night – also seen there: Rep. Jeff Duncan (R-S.C.) chatting with Arkansas Lt. Gov. Tim Griffin. Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) and Rep. Roger Williams (R-Texas) were also at the restaurant.

BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY: Suhail Khan, Microsoft director of external affairs. A fun fact about Suhail: “I was a nanny in college, have ridden a ‘61 Harley Davidson since high school and am currently restoring a ‘67 Shelby Mustang GT500. I was also front row for Metallica three times this summer.” Read his Playbook Plus Q&A: http://politi.co/2AzrXss

BIRTHDAYS: Carole Simpson is 76 … Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) is 65 … Sen. Thad Cochran (R-Miss.) is 8-0 … CNN’s Ashley Killough (hat tip: Kevin Cirilli) … Emily Hamilton, director at Hamilton Place Strategies … Kate Tummarello, policy analyst at Electronic Frontier Foundation … Allie Grasgreen Ciaramella, comms manager at the National College Access Network … Nicolás Luis Rosero … Larisa Alexandrovna Horton … Oath’s Sarindee Wickramasuriya … former Amb. Michael Punke, VP of global public policy for Amazon Web Services and author of “The Revenant” … Scott Greene … Kenny Fried … Patrick Lee Plaisance is 54 … Molly Block, newly-hired press secretary at EPA … Ben Fallon … Maria Fuentes … Jeannie Lough … Doug Henwood … Dafna Tapiero … Adam Culbertson … Michael Steinhardt is 77 … Jonathan Tisch is 64 … Edelman’s Erika Reyes … NYT’s Dean Chang …

… Priya Dayananda of KPMG … Anne MacMillan of Invariant … Sam Runyon, deputy press secretary for Sen. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.), celebrating over three days (h/t Jonathan Kott) … Christina Freundlich … Olivia Wenk (h/t Dad, Christopher) … Tyler Prell … Robert Cresanti, pres. and CEO of Int’l Franchise Association … Mary Heitman, EVP at IFA … Illinois State Sen. Dan McConchie … Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) is 41 (h/t Robb Watters) … Tom Frieden … Mike Klein … Deloitte’s Sam Schofield, a State alum (h/t Nihal Krishan, “his fellow Fessenden Fiefdom housemate”) … Jenny Kordick … Amanda Faulkner, public policy and government relations at Google (h/t Ben Khouri) … Lisa Sun … Raj Peter Bhakta … Tim Andrews … Kim Bradford … Peter Truell is 62 … Brian Mosteller … Mike Meece … Cristina Beato … Noam Chomsky is 89 … Alice Parker … Ruthanne Buck … Sachin Chheda … Antha Williams … Jeff Blum (h/ts Teresa Vilmain)

****** A message from PhRMA: In the competitive marketplace for medicines, negotiations between pharmacy benefit managers (PBMs) and biopharmaceutical companies result in substantial rebates and fees. According to a new report, in many cases, this system often creates incentives for PBMs to prefer medicines with higher list prices and higher rebates. Read more about how money flows through the supply chain here: http://onphr.ma/2kgd6Nu ******

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