#the syllabus says the class will mainly be taught in spanish

[fridayyy-13th]

hooooo boy. i've got my Spanish class today, which i feel deeply, woefully underprepared for (first two years of Spanish classes were hindered by the other teacher at my junior high quitting on the first day, leaving my teacher juggling two sets of students alongside a long-term sub, so we only got through half the material that first year, and spent the entire second year playing catch-up. Spanish III, which i took voluntarily, went okay, but Spanish IV, also taken voluntarily, was an AP class i really struggled in. and, bc i took it, i got dropped straight into Intermediate Spanish without a placement test, and i'm two years out of actively learning the language, though i've tried to keep up with what i know. which is definitely less than i should know for an intermediate college class.)

[leisurelypanda]

They had a week to spend together before school was due to start up. The day after Thor returned was spent much like the first, alternating between sex and sleep and the occasional break for other needs. When they weren’t having sex or sleeping, they talked. About random, nonsensical things like stars, celebrities, sea turtles, sports, and anything in between. Steve traced patterns onto Thor’s body as he listened to him reminisce about his summers playing rugby or soccer.

“Are you planning to tattoo my body, Steve?” Thor asked with a laugh. Steve chuckled. “Because if so, I’ve always wanted a dragon.”

“I could be tracing the dragon’s fire breath,” Steve mused. He could picture his boyfriend with a dragon tattoo. It could be pictured flying on his back with the tail coming up to curl around his bicep.

“Make it lightning,” Thor murmured. Steve looked up at him and grinned as he shook his head.

“Dragons don’t breathe lightning,” he said, laughing. “They breathe fire. Everyone knows that.”

“He’s special,” he said with a pout. “Stop bashing my dreams.”

Steve laughed and pressed a kiss to his pouty lips until Thor returned it. “Fine, I’ll make him with lightning,” he said. “Happy, you big baby?”

“Yes,” Thor with that big, dorky smile

“It would probably be easier to use your back with the dragon flying below and storm clouds on top,” Steve mused. “Or if he really needs to breathe lightning, it could be on one of your biceps and the head could go over your shoulder and breathe lightning across your chest.”

“Älskling, I was just joking,” Thor replied, an amused smile on his face. “But I like that idea. It sounds badass.”

Steve hummed and rested his head against Thor’s arm. His arm came to rest over his chest and started tracing circles on him. He suppressed a moan as Thor traced a finger around his nipple, close enough to be teasing. But they had just finished their latest round and Steve “the insatiable” was in the mood for a break.

“I’m thinking of getting a tattoo,” he said. Thor didn’t pause, but he hummed.

“What kind?” he asked.

“I was thinking of getting one of Michael,” he said.

“Who’s Michael?” Thor asked, a bit sharply. Steve chuckled. He’s jealous, he thought to himself. He laughed again. “What’s so funny?”

“Michael is an archangel,” Steve explained. “I remember that much from Sunday school. Anyway, he’s supposed to fight the devil or he may have kicked him out of heaven or something.”

“Sounds impressive,” Thor said, noncommittally. “Where would you put him?”

“On my rib cage,” he replied. “Over the… the scars there. He’d have a shield and sword and be holding down a snake.”

“Why a snake? Sorry to ask, but I do not know much about Christian stuff,” he said.

“It’s fine, I don’t know much more than you do. It’s supposed to represent the devil or something,” Steve said. Thor hummed.

“What about the other scars?” Thor asked.

“I haven’t decided yet,” Steve said. “But I want to do something to like, leave them in the past, or something.”

“I understand,” Thor said.

“You don’t mind?” Steve asked.

“Steve, it is your body,” Thor said, kissing him. “If it makes you feel good, I am happy. Besides, tattoos are sexy.”

Steve laughed and kissed him again. Thor grinned against his lips and rolled over on top of him. Steve sighed as he felt his lover start to harden against his thigh.

“Who’s insatiable now?” Steve asked. Thor silenced him by nipping at his ear.

“We can stop if you really want,” Thor whispered.

“Don’t you dare,” Steve replied. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first week of school came as all returns to school do. With rowdy kids and tired teachers alike wishing that the break had lasted longer than it did. If there was a sympathetic bone in any of the teachers who taught the Advanced Placement classes, they made no appearance. Even Ms. Foster gave a small mountain of lab reports after she was finished going over the syllabus for the rest of the year. Steve was starting to wonder if he was going to have to sell some of his soul to the devil in order to actually survive the school year.

By the end of the week, however, everyone had survived. No major catastrophes had occurred and outside of having plain old, regular anxiety, Steve was doing pretty well. He would take regular anxiety over the all-consuming terror that visited regularly any day. So that Friday, he and Thor decided to stay for the Gay-Straight Alliance meeting. It was a decently sized club. There was some show of Tony, the president (because of course he was) announcing the plans for the upcoming week, which apparently included karaoke night at a local teen bar. Steve wasn’t sure about it, especially when Thor announced that he wanted to go. He made a mental note to bring earplugs.

Aside from the itinerary, the meeting was mostly a time for just hanging out and catching up after the break. Tony ducked out as soon as his part was done to get to auditions for some Shakespearean play that Steve couldn’t remember the name of. Steve and Thor were hanging out by one of the lab tables when a new face appeared.

“Um, excuse me,” she said, she held out her hand timidly. “I am Wanda. Wanda Maximoff. I’m an… exchange student.”

Steve saw Thor’s eyes light up at her voice. He said something in German. Steve didn’t know anything about the language, but he could recognize the question when he heard it. Wanda’s eyes lit up and they launched into a conversation that Steve couldn’t follow if his life depended on it. He awkwardly sipped his punch, feeling a bit like a third wheel. But he figured Thor was trying to make her feel welcome. They had that bit about being from different countries in common, after all.

“This is Steve,” Thor said as he suddenly switched to English. “My boyfriend. He’s an artist.”

Steve blushed a little (a lot) at the pride in his voice. “It’s nice to meet you, Wanda,” he said. Her eyes widened even further as she regarded him.

“What do you do?” she asked. “I mostly play the guitar and violin, mainly, but I also am a photographer.”

“That’s quite a combination,” Steve said, chuckling. “I just sketch with colored pencils. Nothing fancy.”

“Älskling, you are too modest, as always,” Thor replied.

Steve blushed and moved to hide his face in his cup. Thor just laughed.

“So Wanda,” he asked. “Where are you from? Your English and German are very good.”

“Romania,” she said. “What about you?”

“Sweden,” Thor replied. “It is good to meet another European. Americans only speak English and it gets dull after a while.”

“Hey!” Steve protested. “I took 3 years of Spanish.”

Thor scoffed, giving him a sidelong look. “And how much of that do you remember?” he asked.

“Not a word,” he admitted.

“See? You can’t learn a language just in a classroom,” Thor replied. “The best way to learn a language is to use it in real life.”

“Do not worry Steve,” Wanda said with a glint of mirth in her eyes. “It’s not too late to learn.”

“I could teach you Swedish,” Thor said. Wanda made a face.

“Are you crazy?” she demanded. “Teach him German first, it’s more useful.”

She waved a boy over who looked to be the same age as her. He had warm brown eyes and he walked with a swagger in his step, cocky and self-assured. He had wavy blond hair that was dark at the roots as opposed to her straight brown. For some reason he reminded Steve of Bucky, just a little bit. He said something to her in a language he didn’t recognize, but he figured it was Romanian.

“This is my brother, Pietro,” she said. “Pietro this is Thor and his boyfriend, Steve.”

“Good to meet you,” Steve said, shaking his hand. “How are you finding New York?”

“It is incredible,” he replied with a smile. “You have everything here. In Romania, we lived in Bucharest and it is beautiful, but New York is incredible.”

Steve felt a small amount of pride that the city he called his home measured up to some old European cities. He always imagined that the architecture in old European cities must make New York look like a sprawling, if modern, mess. He imagined it was like walking into the past. His city was amazing and not everything was so modern, but it definitely seemed younger.

“I have always wanted to see Bucharest,” Thor replied with a smile. “I want to take a tour of Europe someday and see everything.”

“It is a beautiful city,” Wanda agreed. The three of them began talking and debating the various cities in continental Europe, where they most wanted to go. Steve interjected every now and then about where he would want to go if he had the chance, but aside from that he felt like there wasn’t much to say. He had been in one place all his life, aside from occasional trips to New Jersey or Philadelphia. He became uncomfortably aware of how well travelled this group was in comparison to him.

His awkwardness was interrupted by Ms. Foster making an announcement that the club meeting was over since the school was closing.

“Everyone, don’t forget that we have the charity karaoke night for the Trevor Project coming up next week,” she said. “We hope to see you all there. It’s gonna be a great night!”

“Steve, we have to go,” Thor said. “It’s going to be so much fun!”

Steve made a valiant effort to say no, but faced with such childlike enthusiasm made it difficult. Thor was actually excited to do this and it was hard to deny him. He would just have to take earplugs and hope that whatever Thor decided to sing, it wouldn’t be too loud. Or maybe he could get the bar to turn up the music to drown him out without everyone going deaf. Not likely, but possible.

“You and Pietro have to come as well,” Thor continued. “It will be a night to remember!”

“I would love to go,” Wanda replied smiling. “We have nothing planned that night.”

Thor turned to Steve with his eyes wide and brimming with excitement, making Steve smile in spite of himself. He couldn’t resist him when he looked like that, not when it was about rollercoasters or apparently karaoke.

“Yes, I’ll go,” he sighed. “But only cause you’re cute.”

Thor beamed and pressed a kiss to his temple. Steve grumbled something about him being a big baby as he hid his blushing face. He was looking forward to going out with him and the new kids from Romania. If only Bucky could see him now, making friend with international students and slowly but surely coming out of the shell he had been in for so many years. They got to the front of the school and he saw his mom and Mr. Baker chatting together as they waited to pick up their respective boys.

“You’re still coming over tomorrow, right?” Thor asked. “To study.”

“Yeah, you bet,” Steve said. Thor smiled and kissed him lightly.

“I hope your appointment with Dr. Erskine goes well,” Thor said as he headed towards his car. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Erskine was as warm and welcoming as always. Steve relayed how his holidays had gone, how he had coped with Thor leaving for Sweden for a while, how he felt about that. He talked about how he was making new friends and how different his life seemed so different now than it was last year.

“And how has your anxiety been since we last saw each other?” Dr. Erskine asked.

“I’ve been having a good time of it lately,” he said. “It’s there, but it seems more manageable now. I still have panic attacks, but they’re less frequent than before.”

Dr. Erskine smiled and nodded. “Well, in light of that, how would you feel about coming off the medication entirely?”

Steve paused. It was true, they had been gradually reducing his medication from when he first started the treatment for his disorder and he knew that getting off the meds entirely was always the goal, but he was still unsure about what that would mean for him now.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “I’ve been on meds in some form or fashion for so long that I’m not sure how to feel.”

“Your ability to function has improved greatly since we’ve been working together,” Dr. Erskine said. “I remember when you came in a couple months ago and you were convinced that you were not making any progress. But today you tell me that your life is much easier now than it was before.”

“But what if I’m not ready?” Steve asked.

“Nothing need be decided now,” his counselor said. “But it is something to discuss with your doctor. The decision is yours.”

He walked out of his session feeling more anxious than he had going in. That Dr. Erskine believed that he could do it was a small comfort, but he was still nervous about actually going off his meds. Who knew if it would last, if he would be able to function at all. Theoretically, he wanted to be able to function like a normal person. But at the same time, this had been part of his life for so long. Who would he be if it worked? Would it get worse and he’d have to go back on? Would he be fine? How long would it take to figure out what life was like for him? What if he started having more panic attacks? What if he wasn’t as in control as he thought he was? Whatever happened, his life was about to change. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, Steve had little time to adjust to this news. Bucky was returning to Penn State today. This time, Thor came with him to the station to help him see Bucky off. Thor followed them into a fast food joint where they killed time until Bucky’s train was ready for boarding. Apparently it was tradition at this point for the two of them to hang out eating burgers until he left, so he joined in. They weren’t that bad considering the fact that it was a fast food place.

“Ugh, I don’t want to go back, Steve,” Bucky said, hanging his head. “Why did you let me go to Penn State anyway?”

“Football scholarship,” Steve replied. “Besides, you’re starting your kinesiology major this semester! Aren’t you excited?”

“Sure,” Bucky said hesitantly. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just worried I’m gonna suck.”

“That kind of attitude is gonna bite you in the ass someday,” Steve said.

Bucky grinned. “Someone should,” he replied. “It’s a nice ass.”

Steve snorted his drink and erupted into a horrible coughing fit. Thor couldn’t help but laugh at the top of his lungs as his boyfriend doubled over, trying to clean off his face and shirt from the soda. Bucky was laughing his head off, too. Steve glared at both of them.

“I hate you,” he declared. “Both of you. I’m not gonna miss you at all.”

“Oh come on, Stevie,” Bucky said. “You know you love me. And you’re never gonna stay mad at Thor.”

“Nope, we’re done,” Steve said adamantly. “I’m hooking up with Loki and Tony now.”

“Well, just as forewarning,” Bucky said. “You’re gonna in for some crazy stuff and it’s gonna last all night long.”

“I did not need to know that about them,” Thor groaned. “It’s bad enough that they’re all over each other in public, I do not need to know what they get up to in private.”

“Why?” Steve asked. Thor almost groaned. Bucky got a wicked gleam in his eye.

“Tell me, Stevie,” he said. “Do you know what a dom is?”

This time Thor snorted into his drink. Baldr must have not approved of his laughing at his lover’s expense or something. Or perhaps Loki’s namesake was messing with him. Or perhaps his brother set his namesake on him out of spite or just because he was bored.

“What’s a dom?” Steve asked, pointedly ignoring Thor’s plight. Dear gods, do not let Bucky tell my sweet, innocent boyfriend this, Thor prayed silently.

“Maybe Thor will tell you,” Bucky said with a wink. “If you ask nicely.”

Steve looked at him expectantly and gasped as Thor actually blushed about as red as Steve did at the drop of a hat. Both of them started laughing at them. A god was definitely out to get him today, but this was one subject that Thor was pretty sure Steve was not ready for. Best to let this be.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” he replied. Steve rolled his eyes while Bucky snickered and Thor thanked the gods that neither of them pressed the issue.

The rest of the their brief time together was spent rehashing old stories from before Thor knew Steve. He gained a newfound respect for his little lover after hearing about some of the shenanigans he and Bucky got up to over the years. Most of it was normal teenager stuff like sneaking into an R rated movie or something. But then there was the story about how Bucky had dared Steve to graffiti the back of a restaurant in Brooklyn.

“We almost got arrested, Buck,” Steve said, flushed with a smile on his face. “That was a terrible idea.”

“Dude, it was worth it to see you draw a giant dick on that wall,” Bucky cried. The corners of Thor’s mouth crept up in a smile at the thought.

“You little hellion,” he said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Tell me this place is still around, I want to see it.”

“Really?” Steve asked.

“It got scrubbed clean,” Bucky said, fishing his phone out of his pockets. “But I have a picture.”

Sure enough, there was a picture of a big, blue penis on the side of a building and another picture of Steve putting it there. Thor laughed at it for longer than was strictly necessary, but the thought of his tight-laced boyfriend tagging buildings was just too much.

“Just think of what your dad would say if he only knew,” Steve said with a grin. “His opinion of me would drop through the floor.”

“I think it’s a bit late for that,” Thor said with a twinge of regret. His father’s irrational opposition to his relationship with Steve was still a bit of a sore spot.

Shortly after this story they made their way to the terminal where Bucky would leave to get on his train. Thor could tell that Steve was saddened by it. He squeezed his hand comfortingly. When they arrived, Steve practically tackled his friend in a hug, much in the same way that he had when Thor returned from Sweden a couple weeks ago. He felt a faint bit of jealousy as he watched Bucky’s arms wrap around his lover. He suppressed it immediately. Steve was allowed to have close friends. The gods knew that he had few enough of them without Thor getting territorial whenever he wanted to show some kind of affection with them.

“I’ll miss you,” he heard his lover say. Bucky closed his eyes and hugged him a little tighter. Curious, Thor thought to himself.

“Yeah, I’ll miss you too, you punk,” Bucky replied. “I’ll text you when I get back.”

“You’d better, you jerk.”

Bucky walked off with his bags and waved one last time before disappearing through the terminal. Steve stood there, laced his fingers together with Thor’s and squeezed. Thor returned the gesture, trying his best to comfort his lover.

“It’s silly, isn’t it?” Steve said. “I keep thinking it’ll be easier next time, watching him leave. And I have more friends now and everything and it’s still hard to see him leave.”

“He is your best friend,” Thor replied softly. “It is not silly in the slightest. I miss my friends every time I leave Sweden.”

“I’ve never asked about your friends in Sweden,” Steve said.

“We are all part of a little pagan community there,” Thor explained. “You would like them. You are as brave and fierce as any of them.”

Steve was silent for a moment. Thor couldn’t tell what was going through his mind, whether he was sad or afraid or just thinking. He refrained from asking. Then, Steve started walking in the direction of the subway silently.

“Thank you for coming,” he said as they waited for the train. Thor squeezed his hand again and smiled down at him.

“Anytime,” he replied. “I just wish I had more time to get to know him.”

“Why’s that?” Steve asked, genuinely curious.

“He is your best friend,” Thor said. “And he seems a good man. I like him.”

“You played football together,” Steve pointed out.

“But we never really hung out outside of that,” Thor countered. “I do not know much about him beyond his athletic ability.”

Steve was silent for a moment. “Bucky’s coming back for spring break in March,” he said. “Maybe we can all hang out sometime.”

Thor smiled down at him. “I would like that.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky turned around as he was leaving to steal one final glance at Steve. He was walking away, hand in hand with Thor, whom Bucky had once had a crush on in between dealing with his feelings for Steve. But since Thor never really responded to anything Bucky had done, he gave up eventually.

He tried not to feel bitter that they had ended up together as soon as he left. Sometimes it was easy, like when they were all laughing together or hanging out. Sometimes… not so much. Sometimes Bucky had to remind himself that he might have what he wanted if he had just had the nerve to say something.

But they were happy together. He couldn’t say something now. However much he might want to be with Steve, or Thor, Bucky cared more about their happiness. Bucky would just mope on the train ride back to Pennsylvania and try to get that out of his system by the time he met his friends at college. It always felt a little like running away or disappearing when he left Brooklyn for Penn State. It always came with a mix of sadness and relief. Bucky could forget his relationship troubles there, throw himself into football practice or schoolwork.

Who knows? he thought. Maybe Nat’s right. Maybe something might still come of it.

Bucky tried to hold onto that hope as he turned around and headed for the train. Nat was usually right about these things. Hell, that was how she and Clint got together and they were as good a couple as Steve and Thor. He got on the train, grabbed a seat, put his earphones in, and turned up some music. Bucky had a few hours to sulk before his stop. He intended to make use of it.