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straylog · 3 years

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cryinginthetub · 3 years

Audio

Song of the Day 03/09/2021

Title: Emergency

Artist: Paramore

Album: The Summer Tic - EP

Genre: Pop Punk/Emo

Year: 2006

#Paramore #SOTD2021 #this version is bomb

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goonlalagoon · 3 years

Text

A smile in your heart (no better place to start) || Second Star to the Left

Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33459862

(Spoilers through to end of ep 10 ahead)

It’s been weeks - months - and Bell’s thought about what they could say, when they’re finally on the ground and face to face with Gwen for the first time. Thank you, that’s a strong contender; they know themselves well enough to know they’re more likely to go with how did you do it? Maybe this time they’ll actually be able to say I love you, though Gwen seems adept at picking it up even when they can’t put the words to it. In their head, they planned for it to be - not dramatic, because they’re supposed to be a fugitive and they don’t want to draw attention, but meaningful. The kind of memory that’s something to think back on with misty eyes and fond words.

Capital-R-Romantic, as Gwen termed it so long ago, that first grudging conversation.

What they actually say is,

“Wow, you really do have a great jawline.”

It’s…admittedly not the worst thing they’ve ever said to someone they have a crush on, but that isn’t exactly the metric Bell wanted to measure this by. They’re standing just feet away from each other, drinking each other in. The silence starts to shade awkward before Gwen swallows, shrugs, gives a shaky smile. Bell remembers a letter, one of the first, remembers reading the clouds are all blurry and the twisting mix of regret and guilty relief, because they didn’t want Gwen to be upset but they couldn’t help but cling onto the fact that she was, that someone was upset on their behalf.

“Well, I never got to see your school graduating photos, so I had no expectations of your jawline, Bell, but hey! It’s a pretty good one too, so congratulations!”

Gods, they’ve missed that laugh.

Someone interrupts them then, of course, because the settler ship has just landed and scout Hartley is very much in demand by everyone, not just Bell. There’s a whole crew of people looking to start a new life, and all of them need their scout to tell them what to do, where to go, what to watch out for. They wave a forlorn goodbye, find a place to sit and idly look around, trying to match this new settlement (very new, scout Summers could probably gauge to the day when these buildings were set up by the wear and tear, even after all this time) to every overheard exploit they’d listened in on over the years.

Gwen had moved the settlement into the trees, combined the natural firebreak with dug trenches to add a layer of defence. There’s a clear track that Bell would bet leads straight to water by the quickest route, an escape path to the coast. They think that perhaps the two of them should put their heads together, figure out emergency bundles for evacuation protocols. Food and water, a spare repair kit for any prosthetics…by the time they find Gwen again, hours of running around helping the settlers - the other settlers - move in, Gigo has a whole list stored. Ideas and checks and suggestions that Bell got halfway through recording before realising that maybe Gwen already thought of all of this and they no longer needed to jot everything down to cram into their four hour window of contact.

They live on the same planet, now. There’s no limit on contact, except that the first several months after settlement are absolute chaos for the scout, and from what Bell recalled hadn’t seemed likely to slow down even before the apocalypse threw everything out the metaphorical window.

Maybe with two of them with scout training it’ll be less…just less. Gwen might be able to get if not the mandated six hours of sleep at least enough to average out more at four or five. They weren’t going to comment on it, but it was easy to tell she hadn’t been getting her full rest anyway - probably hadn’t for months, dark circles under her eyes like permanent bruises.

They’re standing awkward feet away from each other again, and Bell knows there’s going to have to be a conversation about that soon, because it hadn’t really occurred to them before that they know a lot of things about Gwen, years and years of stories and rambling conversations, but there’s things you don’t learn without being in person. Personal space, definitions and comfort thereof, the body language and facial expressions to interpret to know what’s welcomed and what isn’t.

“Hey, so, uh…I know there’s a protocol that I’m supposed to follow when my settlers arrive, and all, but there’s something else I want to do instead.” Bell huffs a laugh, steals a shy glance to see Gwen’s answering smirk.

“Another sworn class tradition to fulfil?”

“Nope! We never talked that far ahead except as jokes. We knew the stats, y’know? But - you told me, the first day, that I should watch the sunrise, that that was something I shouldn’t miss, my first morning. And I don’t…we don’t have that, but I’ve had a long time to find my own wonderfully inspiring views of nature here and I wanted - Bell, you haven’t been on a planet for years and you were with me through everything, but you’ve never seen any of it in real life and I want to show you all of it, and I know where to start.”

Bell thinks about muttering about protocol, for the form of it, for the joke that can be dragged out of it, familiar banter, but they decide not to. It’s no longer their job to care about protocol, and anyway the only reason they cared about the protocol was to keep their scouts safe. Gwen is standing right in front of them, leaning gently against Boots with a casually familiar stance - if they pointed it out, Bell knows she wouldn’t even have thought about it. This is just what Gwen does, when she’s standing about with nothing to do with her hands; rests an elbow companionably atop Boots, one foot hooked around a standing leg and balanced on the toe of her boot.

Gwen is standing right there, safe and alive and happy, so protocol can sort itself, thanks.

(Bell realises they have their own hands in their pockets, their own casual stance, and wonders if Gwen is noticing that too, drinking in all of the unconcious habits that it would never occur to either of them to verbalise. All the little tics and quirks that don’t translate over a FTL comms.)

It’s not a long walk, and it’s more silent than Bell would have guessed, but it’s comfortable. Novel, really, to not have to narrate things aloud because they can just look and see what Gwen is doing, can point at a bird with a dorsal fin and pause to watch it flutter around rather than try to describe it.

They can’t stop stealing glances sideways, catching Gwen more often than not doing the same, both of them collapsing into giggles about it each time. It’s just so surreal, to be walking side by side, after all this time. It feels like a dream, like one of the stories Gwen tells Boots at night - once upon a time, there were two explorers, setting out through the trees…

The light dances on the waves, well below their cliff edge destination. At some point Gwen must have rolled a fallen log over to act as a bench, because it’s too well placed to be natural and there’s a fire-pit dug and lined with careful stones. Close enough to be cosy, but far away from the treeline itself to be safe. The light is dancing on the waves and the grass is drifting in the breeze, a periwinkle blue that Bell is used to seeing in photos if they thought of it at all. Something that had seemed so wonderful and new, when scout Hartley made her first observations, but had drifted into commonplace. A detail that wasn’t worth mentioning any more.

“One day, I’m going to make a boat and go explore that.” Gwen waves grandly at the horizon; she’s leaning her head on Bell’s shoulder, and Bell has decided that they will happily never move again. The two of them can just stay there, forever, Gwen’s head on their shoulder and the soft whisper of waves below. “Once my settlers are…settled, and can be left without supervision for more than a few hours at a time.”

“Already missing the solitude? Mourning all that lovely peace and quiet?”

“What solitude? I had a very efficient scout minder in my ear, I’ll have you know! I didn’t have time to get used to the peace and quiet before beep, time for another check in. Hartley, have you followed the itinary, Hartley, did you maintain a reasonable sleep schedule, Hartley, have you eaten a balanced meal at your officially directed time selected for nutritional optimisation…”

“I’m honestly surprised that you went for reminding me of my remote presence first rather than protesting that Boots was with you the whole time. And I would also like to ask, in the spirit of enquiry, have you done any of those things without my input?” Gwen shakes with barely suppressed laughter and doesn’t bother answering; Bell tries not to join in, because Gwen’s head is still on their shoulder and they’re still determined not to dislodge it until they really have to. “And…hey, I also told you to go watch the sunrise, and you found this instead. I - when did you find this? You never mentioned a little ocean watching viewpoint.”

“I - uh, set it up a few months ago. I didn’t know if it had worked, or if it had all gone wrong, or - and I spent so long pacing around here and wondering what you’d think of the view…”

“Aw, and you say I’m a romantic.”

“With a capital R, yes, you so are. I’m your favourite person, you said so, it was very romantic.”

“That was possibly the least romantic declaration of love that has ever been given. I congratulated you on your jawline, Gwen, I write poetry in my spare time and that was the best I could come up with. I should have just stopped talking - writing, I don’t even have the excuse of not being able to edit it out, the first bit was fine but I kept rambling.”

“It was romantic and I loved it and I have saved all of your letters in three separate back ups to make sure I don’t lose any of them.”

Bell laughs, curls an arm around Gwen’s shoulders as easy as breathing, and lets themselves relax for what feels like the first time in months. A flock of birds takes off from the trees, darting past them over the cliff edge, setting out over the waves. The sun glints off their feathers, the raised fin, a riot of colour catching the light as they watch, leaning against each other, shoulder to shoulder. Gwen is beaming out at it all, and Bell can feel their cheeks creasing to match.

It isn’t a sunrise, but this - this is something close enough, a snapshot of a new world, a new horizon that they get to learn, the first day of a new life.

#My writing #second star to the left #sstl #This went very differently to how I planned it but oh well #Bell Summers/Gwen Hartley

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tarafyingly · 9 months

Text

my fav cd from my fav band

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collecting-stories · 4 years

Text

The Fight - ep. 05 - JJ Maybank

Summary: John B shares some insight into the drama and Topper is just genuinely a good friend.

A/N: Sorry it’s been so long.

The S’week Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

☼☼☼☼

Sarah was back in the morning to talk to Kiara. You saw her at the back door as you were getting coffee, standing on the other side of the glass. When she saw you she looked away and then moved to one of the loungers, sitting down and keeping her eyes on the concrete patio. You knew you should just get your coffee and go, wake up JJ, maybe get a shower. But not go outside, do anything but go outside. But you couldn’t help yourself.

“I don’t get you,” was the first thing you said as you stepped out onto the patio, walking over to her, “you have this great boyfriend who loves you, who literally gave up hanging out with his friends all summer to spend time with you. Why do you want JJ too?” 

“It just...felt special with him. You wouldn’t understand.” Sarah replied, keeping her eyes on the ground.

You frowned at the vague answer but continued, “I understand, trust me. But he doesn’t feel the same way.”

“Yeah, because you weaseled your way in there, just like always. Hanging out with Pope and Kiara, dating JJ, must be nice to have everyone’s attention.”

“You invited your friends to my house Sarah, what was I supposed to do?”

��Not steal my friends!” She snapped.  

“I’m not stealing anyone.” You replied defensively. You had been more excited than you let on when she asked if she could come down for the summer with her friends. You liked Kiara and you had looked forward to the opportunity to actually hang out with people that didn’t know your whole past with Rafe.

“That’s bullshit. We’ve been friends long enough. I know exactly how you work.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“How about suddenly dating Rafe when you’re supposed to be my best friend.” She accused, “how do you think I felt finding out that you were sneaking around with my brother behind my back! Or edging your way into being friends with Topper-“

“You didn’t even like Topper.”

“He was mine!”

“People aren’t property Sarah. I’m sorry okay, about Rafe. I’m sorry. If I could go back then fucking believe me I would.” You said honestly, knowing that you would do anything to stop yourself from ever getting involved with the oldest Cameron. “I didn’t know it was JJ...but I told you I liked him. You knew I liked him when you asked me if they could come down for the summer...so why did you ask?” 

“I didn’t think he’d go for you.” She replied honestly, shrugging her shoulders as she spoke.

“Oh.”

“I didn’t think you guys would even get along and then all the sudden you’re going off together on the beach and disappearing at a party with him and a million other things. Flirting with him constantly!”

“You have a boyfriend. Look I’m sincerely sorry about Rafe but I’m not apologizing to you that someone actually gives a shit about me and treats me well and that I’m happy.” 

“It’s been a week.” She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, annoyed with your ‘JJ treats me well’ narrative.

“I stuck it out with Rafe for three and a half years so I think I know the difference between someone treating me well or not.” You replied. “Not everyone always has to like you.”

“Says you.”

“Whatever Sarah, I don’t even know why I came out here.” You said, backing away. You heard the door slide open behind you and glanced back to see Kiara step out onto the patio. “We used to be best friends, which you obviously don’t give a shit about-“

“How presumptuous of you to assume how I feel.”

“Screw you.” 

You made it all the way to the door before Kiara grabbed your arm and stopped you in your tracks. She looked apologetic and you weren’t sure if it was for your benefit or Sarah’s. “Hey-“

“No; I tried, I’m not wasting my time begging for her forgiveness for what? Liking a guy that doesn’t have feelings for her in the first place?” You replied, raising your voice so that she could hear you.

Kiara frowned, “I’ve been on the receiving end of Sarah’s drama before...she’s not the worst person she just gets in her head.” 

“Yeah I know.” You rolled your eyes. You didn’t need Kiara to tell you how your best friend operated. “I’ve stuck it out before, trust me. When she wants to talk, I’m here,” you admitted.

You looked passed Kiara to see John B standing in the entry way of the kitchen. His eyes met yours and he shifted them to look toward the front door, nodding his head subtly. You nodded as inconspicuously as you could and watched him walk out the door. 

“I just wanna clear my head.” You said, moving to walk passed Kiara. 

“I’ll try to talk to her.” Kiara promised, heading toward the pool to talk to Sarah. 

John B was waiting outside for you, hands in his pockets to hide how sweaty they were. He needed to talk to you about last night. It was all he could think about after you went up to bed. He’d been replaying every scene from the night before in his head, trying to figure out what it all meant and what had happened. He knew now that the only way to fully talk out what had happened was to talk to you.

You had already talked about last night, just not with him. When you’d gone up to your room JJ was sitting on the bed watching Parks & Rec on your laptop and you’d shut the door behind you, leaning against it and meeting his eyes over the monitor, “John B kissed me.”

“What?” He practically smashed his hand against the top of the laptop as he slammed it such, eyes wide.

“I went down to get snacks and he was down there...I didn’t wanna not say anything so I was like ‘sorry’ and then he kissed me.” You explained, trying to make it sound as mundane as it was. You knew he didn’t mean it to be anything other than a confused, heat of the moment, incident. John B didn’t like you and you didn’t like him, but he was hurting and confused and you felt that. You were right there with him.

JJ nearly tripped as he climbed onto his knees and then stumbled off the bed. You stopped him before he could reach the door, hands pressing against the skin of his stomach, abs tensing beneath your touch as his eyes met yours. 

“Can we not have anymore drama?” You pleaded, pushing against him. 

“He kissed you!” JJ protested, still trying to get passed you.

“He didn’t mean it JJ, calm down!” 

“I don’t give a shit what his lousy excuse is! He’s always pulling shit like this-“ 

“Can you put aside your weird competitive streak with John B for five seconds and listen to me!” You insisted. You moved your hands to his face, getting him to look at you and not the door. “His girlfriend hightailed it out of here to go stay with her ex after I told the room that she was basically setting up s’week to cheat on him with his best friend. Cut him some slack JJ, I think he’s been through it.” 

“Yeah well, whatever he’s ‘been through’ doesn’t mean he gets to try something with you.” 

“Down boy.” You teased, “I’m back here telling you aren’t I?” 

“Fine.” JJ deflated slightly, leaning into you, forehead against yours.

You met his eyes briefly before leaning your head back just enough to kiss him, feeling his hands move to your hips immediately, gripping through the soft fabric of the oversized shirt you were wearing.

“Full disclosure, JJ knows.” You said, stepping down off the front porch and sitting on the curb beside John B. He looked over at you, eyes wide for a split second as he registered the information you’d told him. 

“You told him?”

“Yeah.” You shrugged. 

There was a long silence, the two of you just sitting together on the curb. John B rubbed his calves, shoved his hands in his pockets, took them out to fiddle with his hoodie, brushed his hair back, rubbed his calves again and the cycle continued. Nervous tics to alleviate the feelings he was wrestling with. Hurt and anger at both JJ and Sarah. 

“I didn’t mean to kiss you...I was just, pissed at JJ. I just wanted to, I don’t know, take something of his.” John B shrugged.

“Well steal his necklace or something next time cause I’m not ‘his’, John B. No wonder you and Sarah get along...people don’t belong to you, you can’t collect them.” You said, pushing gravel with your foot. “I think you should talk to JJ. And Sarah for that matter.”

“Not really in the mood to talk to anyone.”

“You’re doing an okay job so far.” You mentioned. 

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to tear your head off. I mean, my best friend. She’s been crushing on my best friend this whole time. Every time I’ve been with her. Every time she said ‘I love you’ it was just a lie, she wanted it to be someone else.” John B said, “and he never told me. JJ tells me everything...sometimes to the point of over sharing. But he didn’t tell me he hooked up with Sarah Cameron. That’s big fucking news.” 

“I don’t know anything about it...JJ didn’t really say.” You replied. He hadn’t mentioned anything to you really about him or Sarah. You only knew what had been said in the kitchen over pizza.

“You didn’t ask him?” John B seemed surprised.

“No.” 

“I don’t think it was before we started dating.” John B confesses suddenly. 

“JB-“

“Listen. I’m not trying to screw with you and JJ,” he promised, “but he didn’t tell you either...no explanation. Just went hooked up one time and now she’s tried to derail a two year relationship and ruin vacation? That make sense to you?”

“I don’t-“ You frowned.

“You’ve known Sarah since grade school?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

“So?”

“She used to cheat on Topper...she’d text me sometimes and say that, if he asked, she was with me.” You replied, “but that was a while ago...I mean, that was two years ago.” 

“I think they were hooking up while we were together. This year. Maybe last...maybe the whole time.” John B admitted. He’d been trying to connect the dots in his head all night and he was starting to think that he was losing his mind.

“So you think-“ 

“I know JJ. And I know Sarah. They were pissed at each other that whole week before we came down here...I think she wanted to break up with me. I know I sound crazy but-“

“You think JJ didn’t want to?” You asked, turning more toward John B. Maybe it was crazy but suddenly it all felt like it made sense to you.

“Yeah.”

“I‘m gonna, I need to clear my head, I’m gonna take a walk.” You said, standing up and taking a deep breath to steady yourself.

“I wasn’t trying to upset you.” John B insisted, standing up after you.

“No it’s not you. I just...” you shrugged, wiping at tears that hadn’t yet fallen, “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed.” 

You left John B there in the driveway, walking down the road and away from your house as quickly as possible. You wanted to rewind but you weren’t sure how far. To yesterday? When you asked JJ to stay an extra week and told him this wasn’t casual. When he swore it wasn’t casual either? Or before that? All the way to the beginning of the week when you took him to that beach party?

Whatever you wanted it wasn’t this. It wasn’t heartache before the relationship had even really started. You didn’t walk far. You hoped that Sarah was still at your house because you were standing on the front porch of the house that Topper was renting for the week, texting him that you were outside and that you needed to talk to him.

Just as you sent it a text from JJ came in, asking where you were. When you’d gone down stairs he had been sleeping but he was obviously awake and aware now. And no doubt wondering why you’d ditched him and disappeared without any hint to where you might be. Though you knew if Sarah was still out on the patio with Kiara it was only a matter of time before he figured out where you were.

“You always come running back.” Rafe boasted, walking into the kitchen where you were sitting on the counter. 

Topper was standing in front of you and he turned at the sound of Rafe’s voice, frowning at him, “Dude lay off, she’s upset. She’s not here for you.” 

“What happened? That pogue do something to you?” Rafe asked. 

“You’re fucking hilarious you know that?” 

“Hey! I apologized for that shit-“ He started to say but you cut him off. 

“Oh yeah? And was that before or after you threatened me at my party?” 

“Hey!” Topper put his hand on your knee to stop you when you leaned forward before looking over at Rafe, “hey, man, come on, just leave her alone. She’s upset as it is.” 

“Whatever, fuck you.”

“Fuck you too Cameron.” You called after him.

Topper sighed, giving you his undivided attention now that Rafe was gone, unwilling to put up a fight for now. “So you want to tell me what’s going on? First Sarah last night and now you? Showing up here crying.”

“It’s just dumb drama.” You sighed, raking a hand through your hair and leaning back against the cabinet.

“Can’t be that dumb if you’re upset.” He pointed out. Topper was the last person to root for you being with one of the pogues but if you were happy with JJ, and you sounded like it from the texts you’d sent him the last time you talked, he was almost hoping the drama that you mentioned didn’t involve you getting hurt again.

“Sarah and JJ hooked up. He told John B that it happened before they started dating but-“

“But they lied?” Topper asked, unsurprised by the information. He’d dated the middle Cameron for a whole summer, he knew what her tendencies were.

“John B thinks they’ve been hooking up since he and Sarah got together.” You sighed, “I mean, I shouldn’t be upset right? Like it was before JJ was even anything other than some unattainable crush to me. But like...she never said anything to me and then JJ never said anything last night. He could’ve told me. It just makes me think that, maybe they do have feelings for each other.” You explained, voicing your fears better this time around.

“I can’t believe I’m gonna say this but, have you talked to JJ? I mean...if you think he’s been fucking her this whole time maybe it’s worth getting his side of the story.”

“I don’t want it to be more than a one-off.” You admitted. “I don’t want John B to be right.”

“I think you need to talk to JJ.” 

“I don’t want to be a rebound Top. I want someone to like me because of me not because I’m a kook or because they’re trying to get over someone else or because they think they can control me.” You wiped at your eyes, biting your lip to stop from crying, “it’s stupid.”

“It’s not, hey, hey, no. It’s not stupid.” Topper said, pulling you off the counter and into a hug. “It’s not stupid to want someone to like you.”

“This is the fucking worst week ever.” You mumbled against his shirt.

“Don’t write it off yet.” Topper said. “I’d offer you a room here but Sarah’s all moved into Scarlett’s room with her and I doubt you really wanna be-”

“Under the same roof as Sarah? No thanks.” You replied, “I should leave before she comes back.”

“You just got here.”

You were about to reply when your phone buzzed. There was a text from John B asking if you were okay. You texted him back, telling him you would be fine and suggesting that the two of you hang out later. You felt guilty just leaving him there at the house when things were such a mess and he was in his head about Sarah and JJ.

“Everything okay?” Topper asked.

“Fine...is it too early to drink?” You asked, stashing your phone and looking passed Topper to the counter of alcohol they had in the kitchen.

“I think you might want to lay off. At least for now.”

There was banging on the front door and you shared a confused look with Topper before you both headed into the hallway to see what was going on. You couldn’t imagine that Sarah would bang on the door like that and anyone else had a key. You were the only person in the house who wasn’t currently staying there overnight.

Your phone buzzed again, John B. -Sarah told Kie you might be with Topper-

As you read the message Topper opened the door, immediately stumbling back as JJ practically swung the door back in his face. Pope was right behind him though looking more distressed than pissed.

“What the fuck!”

“Oh my god! Topper, JJ, what the hell?” You ran to your best friend, moving forward to block him so JJ didn’t try anything.

“What’s going on?” Kelce’s voice came from the balcony and then his footsteps, coupled with Rafe’s were coming down the stairs into the entryway.

“Shit.” Pope muttered.

JJ was only watching you, seemingly unconcerned with the others. “ ‘What the hell’ is right! I woke up and you had just left the house? Kie said you were here. Of all fucking places!”

“I came to see Topper!” You snapped. “You know that things between me and Rafe are over, I told you that last night.”

“I wouldn’t say-“

“Shut up Rafe.” Topper groaned, shoving his friend away when he got to the bottom of the stairs.

“And yet you’re here.”

“I’m not the one lying to people.” You said. From the open door you could see Kiara and Sarah, standing on the porch steps waiting to see what happened. You could imagine how thrilled Sarah would be if this whole thing got derailed. “John B-“

“Oh good, we’re on John B again.” JJ snapped.

“What’s a matter, she screw him too? Just like my sister?” Rafe taunted and you realized you might be the last person who really knew what was going on. “Guess no one wants to be seen with a filthy pogue like you-“

“Shut the fuck up!”

Topper grabbed you when you fell backward from the force of JJ surging forward and tackling Rafe to the stairs. Pope tried to grab him but he lost his grip at the last second and stumbled a little himself. Sarah and Kiara came into the house, Sarah shouting for JJ to calm down and get off her brother.

“Don’t man,” Topper called when Kelce looked ready to join the fight. Their eyes met over the mess of teenage boys trying to land punches on each other, Topper shaking his head. He was still holding your upper arms from where he grabbed you but you pulled away as JJ got a hit in, right between the eyes.

“Stop!” You grabbed at the back of his shirt and the collar pressing into his neck seemed to wake him up enough that he stumbled backwards, hands flying up to stop himself from choking. Kelce grabbed Rafe, helping him up and Topper moved in front of him, a human barrier between him and JJ. “Just stop!”

“Hey-“ Kiara started to speak but you cut her off.

“I want all of you out of my house by the time I get back.” You pushed passed them, heading for the door. JJ was the first to follow you, feet pounding against the porch steps as he called your name. You stopped just shy of the road, turning but not giving him a moment to get a word in. “You said so much shit to me this week but I was just a rebound from Sarah wasn’t I? You and her were cheating this whole time.”

“It’s not like that-“

“Save it. I’m done.”

You walked until you hit your house, going around back and walking down to the beach. Families were set the closer you got to the shoreline, all unaware of just how shitty you were feeling right now, like you could sink into the sand or walk straight into the ocean and be perfectly fine. You spotted a familiar Hawaiian shirt at the beginning of the tide and smiled subconsciously, if anyone knew what you were feeling right now.

“Of all the beaches in all the worlds.” You teased, coming up beside John B.

“Hey, there you are. I heard everyone take off, I wasn’t sure what was happening.”

“Oh you know…I told everyone to clear out.”

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dustedmagazine · 3 years

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Dust Volume 7, Number 5

Sarah Louise

A week or two before this Dust’s deadline, we got our first tour announcement by email in more than a year. It was the first of deluge, as live music looks to be coming back with a vengeance starting this summer and really picking up steam around September. Meanwhile, we celebrate our newly vaxxed (or for our Canadian correspondents half-vaxxed) status with tentative steps outside. Your editor had her first beer at a brew pub in mid-May, and it was stupendous. Also stupendous, the onslaught of new music, which has, if anything, accelerated. This month, contributors include all the regulars plus a few new people: Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Patrick Masterson, Ray Garraty, Tim Clarke, Andrew Forell, Ian Mathers, Bryon Hayes, Jonathan Shaw and Chris Liberato. Happy spring, happy normal and happy listening!

Amulets — Blooming (The Flenser)

Blooming by AMULETS

Like a lot of us, Portland-based noise artist Randall Taylor discovered the solace of long walks during the pandemic. His work, which has always used tape degradation to explore the intersection of time, loss and technology, shifted to incorporate another source of decay: the natural world. So, in opening salvo, “Blooming,” alongside blistering onslaughts of eroded guitar sound, it is possible to hear the sounds of a fertile garden — birds, insects, air movement. You can nearly smell the flowers and feel the sunshine on your skin. “The New Normal” explores sounds of creaking, friction-y word and metal, alongside pristine chimes of synthetic tone. It is uneasy, with skittering string-like squeaks and swoops, but also deeply meditative; it shifts from moment to moment from anxiety to provisional acceptance, much as we all did last year, staring out our windows. Overall, the tone is elegiac, gorgeous, but Randall does not hesitate to introduce dissonance. “Heaviest Weight” thunders with frayed bass tones, a weight and a threat in their subliminal pulse. The contrast between that ominous sound and purer, clearer layers of melody, makes for unsettling listening—are we at war or peace, happy or sad, agitated or calm? And yet, perhaps that’s the point, that the past year has been swirl of feelings, boredom alongside anxiety, hope lighting the corners of our listlessness, the smell of flowers pleasing but faintly reminiscent of funerals. Blooming decocts this mix into sound.

Jennifer Kelly

Astute Palate — S-T (Petty Bunco)

Astute Palate by Astute Palate

Astute Palate is a hastily assembled group of rockers summoned to support David Nance in Philly on a date when he couldn’t bring the David Nance Band. Participants included Richie Records proprietor Richie Charles, Lantern’s Emily Robb, Writhing Squares/Purling Hiss/all around Philadelphia regular Daniel Provenzano on bass and, of course, Nance himself, all huddled together in Robb’s recording studio for a weekend together. None of this origin story does justice, however, to the pure liquid fire of this one-off musical collaboration, dominated by Nance’s viscous, distorted blues-inflected guitar wail, but knocked sideways by brute force drumming, wild hypnotic bass lines and the ritual incantation of Nance (and later Robb) singing. The long “Stall Out” does anything but, rampaging free-range in unbridled Crazy Horse/Allmans-style abandon for close to ten minutes without a single sputter. “A Little Proof” is somehow simultaneously heavier and more country, spinning out the soul-blues jams like a younger, unrulier cousin to MC5. “Treadin’ Schuylkill” gives Provenzano the spotlight, opening with a growling bass solo soon joined by heavy psych guitars (a nod, perhaps, to the illustrious locals in Bardo Pond). If Nance et. al. can pull stuff this fine out in a stray road warrior weekend, what are the rest of you doing with your lives?

Jennifer Kelly

Axis: Sova — Fractal (God?)

Fractal - EP by Axis: Sova

Axis: Sova is a combo of three Chicago guys plus one drum machine, which had already been inactive for two or three seasons before the initial COVID lockdown. This digital EP is their way of clearing up some business that could no longer remain undone. The title tune, “Fractal USA,” is a remake of a song from the early days, when the “band” was Brett Sova’s solo project, to full-on, no your pants aren’t tight enough rock band. They just needed you to know about the evolution, you see, so go ahead, do some scissor kicks and gurn while they windmill away; you have enough money saved up from not seeing live music to pay the inevitable chiropractor bill. “Caramel” hypothesizes that a Cluster song that’s played twice as loud and twice as long is twice as good; not sure if I agree, but it’s still not bad at all. Maybe you got a little weird after a few months of putting on your best mask for your daily trip to see if the stimulus check was in the mailbox? The Brenda Ray-meets-Old Black mash up, “(Don’t Wanna Have That) Dream,” is proof that while you were alone, you weren’t alone. If you’ve made it this far, you don’t need to have the fourth track described, so let’s just say that it’s longer.

Bill Meyer

Mattie Barbier — Three Spaces (self-released)

three spaces by mattie barbier

While perhaps best known as half of the trombone-centric new music duo RAGE Thormbones, Mattie Barbier is a member of several other combos and a sonic researcher under their own name. Three Spaces, which is a single, album-length sound file, has the air of experimentation about it. “What do I do,” one can imagine Barbier asking themself, “when I can’t play with other people?” Make music at home, and out of what’s at home, is the obvious answer. But doing isn’t the only point here; the outcome also matters, and while what Barbier has accomplished with Three Spaces sounds quite different from the RAGE Thormbones live experience, it registers quite strongly. Barbier has combined long tones and melodic fragments played on euphonium, trombone and reed organ, that were recorded both inside and outside of their home. Carefully layered, the source material combines into a sound rather like a bell’s toll, which over the course of nearly 39 minutes swells and recedes, but never quite decays; it ends with an imposed rather than natural fade-out. The sound is as deep as it is expansive, inviting the listener to let themselves fall ever father into its realm.

Bill Meyer

Beneath — On Tilt EP (Hemlock Recordings)

On Tilt EP by Beneath

One of the more pleasant surprises this year is the resuscitation of Untold’s Hemlock Recordings imprint. A vital voice in the post-dubstep fracas at the turn of the ‘10s thanks to releases from Hessle Audio’s Pearson Sound (when he was still Ramadanman) and Pangaea, James Blake, FaltyDL and Hodge to name but a handful, the label went dormant following a Ploy 12” in 2017 before the surprise announcement of Londoner Beneath’s On Tilt, which sounds every bit the sensible alliance in practice it looks on paper: These are low-end rumblers with irregular rhythms and spare melodic tics that worm their way into your brain in the best bone-humming fashion (see “Shambling” or “Lesser Circulation” for a good example). Who knows how long the return will last, but for a certain stripe of DMZ-damaged devotee and pretty much no one else, it’ll feel good to have some Hemlock in your life again. Tilt back, pour in.

Patrick Masterson

Black Spirit— El Sueño De La Razón Produce Monstruos (Infinite Night Records)

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More metal comes from South America than Spain, but these Europeans clear the high bar set by Latin America scenesters. The album’s title states that it was inspired by “El Sueño De La Razón Produce Monstruos.” That can testify both to lasting influence of Goya’s art and to the laziness of the current culture which seeks inspiration only from the most popular pictorial art of the past. The track “Ignorance and The Grotesque” perfectly captures the whole mood of the disc: it balances ignorant speeds, undecipherable vocals and grotesque parts with piano interludes and doom-ish atmosphere. It would be better without the grotesque, but that’s probably part of the baggage.

Ray Garraty

Burial + Blackdown — Shock Power of Love EP (Keysound Recordings)

Shock Power of Love EP by Burial

You might worry, occasionally, that Burial was becoming a victim of diminishing returns. Here, as ever, he uses a narrow palette to create tracks that few can emulate. However, even though the music has its rewards, it doesn’t clear the very high bar that his previous work has set. Thus “Dark Gethsemane” rides a 4/4 beat, angelic murmurs, vinyl crackle and a tightly ratcheted build that morphs into a sermon led by the repeated invocation “We must shock this nation with the power of love.” As his vocal samples become more explicit, the mystery of his music fades. This is all promise and no real resolution. “Space Cadet’ likewise sounds both gorgeous and minor with its soul gospel refrain “Take Me Higher” over an old-school jungle beat. At six plus minutes it would have been enough. It continues another three with an almost cartoonish second movement that lacks the subtlety that characterizes Burial’s best work.

Andrew Forell

Colleen — The Tunnel and the Clearing (Thrill Jockey)

The Tunnel and the Clearing by Colleen

While COVID messed with most people’s lives, it was both an endgame and an opportunity for Cécile Schott, the Frenchwoman who records under the name Colleen. She was just coming out of a series of health and personal dislocations, which resulted in her being newly healthy but alone in a new town just as the lockdown came down. Clearly, this was not a time for half measures, so she selected an entirely new instrumental set-up and settled in to make a record that reflected what she’d been through. Out went the viola da gamba and melodica that have figured prominently on her last few albums; in came a Moog synthesizer, a Yamaha organ, a tape echo and a drum machine.

Colleen’s voice, of course, remains the same. Airy and precise, her delivery doesn’t match the gravity of the experiences her songs describe. But that sense of remove is, perhaps, a reflection of one of adversity’s lessons; if you don’t stay stuck, you can wind up somewhere quite different. Between the keyboards’ cycling melodies and the drum machine’s fizzy beats, the music on The Tunnel and the Clearing imparts a sense of motion that carries her light voice along for the ride, dropping painful sentiments and letting them fall behind.

Bill Meyer

Current Joys — Voyager (Secretly Canadian)

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Nick Rattigan has been releasing music under the name Current Joys since 2013, and Voyager is his latest offering. It’s a dramatic and often brilliant collection of songs, bringing to mind the urgent rhythmic drive of Spoon, the dour grandeur of The Cure and the unapologetic emotional heft of Bright Eyes or early Arcade Fire. On Voyager’s standout, “American Honey,” a simple strummed backing and Rattigan’s vocal delivery are potent enough, but it’s the string section that proves devastating, cycling around for multiple punches to the gut. While more stripped-back songs such as “Big Star” and “The Spirit or the Curse” offer some respite along the way, Voyager does prove a little unwieldy. With 16 tracks clocking in at nearly an hour, the album’s execution doesn’t quite live up to its ambition. The wonky tom-tom rhythms of “Breaking the Waves” are more distracting than interesting; a serviceable cover of Rowland S. Howard’s “Shivers” feels more like an acknowledgment of influence than a striking interpretation; and the combined six minutes of the two-part instrumental title track may have worked better as shorter interludes. Nevertheless, plenty of Voyager’s tracks demonstrate Rattigan’s knack for a raw, emotive indie-rock tune.

Tim Clarke

Ducks Ltd — Get Bleak EP (Carpark Records)

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Toronto duo Ducks Ltd celebrates signing to Carpark with an expanded re-release of their 2018 debut EP Get Bleak. The pair — Tom Mcgreevy on vocals, rhythm and bass guitars and Evan Lewis on lead guitar — bonded over a shared love of 1980s indie bands. Their intricately constructed guitar interplay carries the DNA of Postcard and C86 over meaty bass lines that evoke Mighty Mighty as much as Orange Juice and McCarthy. The sprightly music belies the miserablism of the lyrics that focus on FOMO, poor decisions, screen induced isolation, the corrosive impact of gentrification and gig economies. Mcgreevy and Lewis don’t wallow, however. Their jaunty jangle is a paean to the joys of jumping about and singing along with those new favorite songs that suddenly mean everything and will stick with you long after the world’s shit slopes your shoulders.

Andrew Forell

Field Music — Flat White Moon (Memphis Industries)

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It’s easy to take Field Music for granted. Since 2005, the Brewis brothers have been making smartly composed and tightly executed guitar pop with obvious debts to The Beatles and XTC, and all their albums have fallen somewhere along the continuum from good to great (my personal favorites are 2010’s Measure and 2012’s Plumb). Album number eight, Flat White Moon, features the usual balance between Peter’s more pensive, bittersweet numbers with greater focus on piano and strings, such as “Orion From the Street” and “When You Last Heard From Linda,” and David’s funkier, more staccato cuts, such as “No Pressure” and “I’m the One Who Wants to Be With You.” Twelve songs, 40 minutes, tunes for days — what’s not to love? If you’ve yet to get acquainted with Field Music, Flat White Moon is as good an introduction as any.

Tim Clarke

Gabby Fluke-Mogul/Jacob Felix Heule/Kanoko Nishi-Smith — Non-Dweller (Humbler)

non-dweller by gabby fluke-mogul, Jacob Felix Heule, & Kanoko Nishi-Smith

With Non-Dweller, we have a trio of Bay-Area improvisers who certainly do not reside in one place for very long. There is an agitated freneticism about their interactions here, the performers acting like electrons seeking to release energy and break out of orbit. Each player brings a unique collection of timbres to the party with their implement of choice. Heule is a percussionist by trade yet focuses on extended techniques — mainly friction-based — as he wrests an unholy wail from the maw of his bass drum. Fluke-Mogul’s violin sways between tone generator and noise source. Nishi-Smith is a classically trained pianist who here is bowing and plucking the koto, or Japanese zither. The trio spend most of their time in sparring mode, their energies unleashed with synchrony as if in an elaborate dance. It is clear they have collaborated before. Heule and Nishi-Smith have been at it for over a decade; Fluke-Mogul joined the party in 2019. The most gorgeous moments happen when all three players are focused on friction: Heule slides across his drum, Fluke-Mogul soars with their violin and Nishi-Smith gracefully bows her koto. The energy is focused and particles collide, creating waves of tone. The players wrestle intensity into submission, and the ensuing sonorities are unmissable.

Bryon Hayes

FMB DZ — War Zone (Fast Money Boyz \ EMPIRE)

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Ever since FMB DZ got shot and moved out of Detroit, he has continued to release angry music. (He may not be more productive after the assault, but he’s certainly not less so.) War Zone is his latest effort, along with The Gift 3 and Ape Season, and DZ is back in his paranoiac mode and ready for vengeance. That’s hardly unusual in this type of music but DZ stands out because he’s a bit angrier, a bit more pressing and a bit more gifted than the next man. He doesn’t outdo himself in this tape, but rather mostly follows the blueprint of Ape Season. The standout track is “Spin Again.”

Ray Garraty

Ian M Fraser — Berserk (Superpang)

Berserk by Ian M Fraser

Ian M Fraser is kind enough to provide details about how he created and edited Berserk, although relatively few listeners are going to really know what “nonlinear feedback systems and waveset synthesis” are, let alone “sensormonitor primitives auditory perception software”. And fewer still will be able to focus on what that might mean while Berserk is actually playing, because the output of those programs and systems is immediately, viscerally clear. If a computer were actually capable of going rabid, feral, well, berserk, the human mind might imagine it sounds something like this. Over four shorter tracks and the relatively epic 8:26 of “The Cannibal,” Fraser either coaxes or allows (or both) his tools into the equivalent of something like what someone who knew very little about both genres might imagine is like a power electronics act playing free jazz or vice versa. It is absolutely viscerally thrilling (albeit probably easier to repeat at this length of 16 minutes than, say, 50) and will do the track the next time you feel like your brain needs a good hard scrub.

Ian Mathers

Human Failure — Crown on the Head of a King of Mud (Sentient Ruin Laboratories)

Crown on the Head of a King of Mud by Human Failure

It’s tough to figure out if the band’s name is meant specifically to apply to D. Cornejo (sole member of Human Failure) or to the general field of human failure, which grows ever more capacious. Whatever the intent, Human Failure makes thoroughly unlovable music, pitched somewhere on the continuum that runs from the primitivist death metal to stenchcore to harsh noise. This reviewer is especially fond (yep, somehow that’s the only word for it) of the title track of this 10” record: “Crown on the Head of a King of Mud” sloughs and slogs along for two minutes, sort of like one of the ripest zombies in Romero’s Day of the Dead (1985), wandering about and slowly falling to pieces in Florida’s tumid heat. Just as that last bit of flesh is poised to slide from bone, the song unexpectedly breaks into a run. Where is it going? What’s the rush? No one knows. Things eventually bottom out into “Disassembling Morality,” a static-and-distortion laden electronic interlude that might squeak and spark for a bit too long — but then “Your Hope Is a Noose” shambles into the frame. That zombie seems to have found some equally noisome and truculent friends. They djent and pogo around for a while, and the song has a lot more fun than seems called for by the band name. Cornejo might be pissed off by the myriad manmade disasters and outright catastrophes that burden the earthball (he’s sure angry as heck about something…). But the record ends up being sort of successful, if deafening, grinding, growling stench is on the agenda. All things considered, why wouldn’t it be?

Jonathan Shaw

Insub Meta Orchestra — Ten / Sync (Insub)

Ten / Sync by INSUB META ORCHESTRA

Ten / Sync was recorded in September, 2020; not exactly lockdown time, but certainly not out of the pandemic woods. It’s no small task to keep any 50-strong orchestra going, let alone one devoted to experimental music. So, if you already have one, then having it perform during a pandemic is just another challenge among many. So, the Swiss-based orchestra assembled three groups of musicians, numbering 31 in all, and assembled their contributions during post-production. While this did not provide the social experience that IMO’s gatherings usually impart to participants, an outcome that just isn’t the same seems awfully representative of the time, right? And since one Insub Meta Orchestra subspeciality is making music that sounds like it was performed by many fewer players than were actually present, this collection of sustained chords concealing tiny actions and apparently disassembled passages is actually very representative of the ensemble’s music.

Bill Meyer

Amirtha Kidambi & Matteo Liberatore — Neutral Love (Astral Editions)

Neutral Love by Amirtha Kidambi & Matteo Liberatore

With her own group, the Elder Ones, and in Mary Halvorson’s Code Girl, singer Amirtha Kidambi shows how far you can take a song while still giving the meanings of words and the boundaries of form their dues. But Neutral Love, like her two tapes with Lea Bertucci, explores the territory outside the tower of song. The main structures for this improvised encounter with electric guitarist Matteo Liberatore seem to be a shared agreement to exclude certain options. Song form and overt displays of chops are right out; the patient manipulation of sounds is where it’s at. Liberatore opts mostly for swelling and subsiding resonations, while Kidambi spends a lot of time finding out what’s hiding at the back of her throat, drawing it out, and then tying it into elaborate shapes. Patient and eerie, these four tracks find a place adjacent to Charalambides at their most abstract, and make it their own.

Bill Meyer

Kosmodemonic — Liminal Light (Transylvanian Recordings)

KOSMODEMONIC - LIMINAL LIGHT by KOSMODEMONIC

NYC outfit Kosmodemonic is among the recent wave of metal bands attempting to effect an organic-sounding synthesis of numerous subgenres: a slurry of sludge, a bit of black metal, a dose of doom, and a hit or two of the lysergic. When it works — as it does on a number of tracks on the band’s long new cassette Liminal Light — it’s an exciting sound. Songs like “Moirai” and “Broken Crown” manage to couple tuneful riffs, dirty tone and a muscular bottom end in ways that feel thumping, groovy and pretty weird. You’ll want to bump your butt around even as you’re looking for something to break. But the tape is pretty long, and the further afield Kosmodemonic gets from that mid-tempo groove, the more middling (and sometimes muddled) the material sounds. “With Majesty” can’t quite find its rhythmic footing in its more technical passages, and the song’s sludgier sections feel like compromises, rather than interesting maneuvers. But the record begins and finishes with really strong songs. Both “Drown in Drone” and “Unnaming Unlearning” embrace scale, letting their big riffs rip. When “Unnaming Unlearning” slips into complex sections of blackened and distorted dissonance, the drama surges. Formal experiment and manipulation of mood fold into each other. The song gets interesting, even as it’s reaching for a peak. And then it ends, suddenly, violently. It’s pretty good. Your impulse is to flip the tape and hear it again, which is just what Kosmodemonic wants you to do. Well played, dudes.

Jonathan Shaw

Sarah Louise — Earth Bow (Self-Released)

Earth Bow by Sarah Louise

Asheville-based songwriter Sarah Louise wants to be your personal nature interpreter. The titles of her recordings, from her debut Field Guide through Deeper Woods and Nighttime Birds and Morning Stars are like planetary signposts pointing to a more intimate relationship with our planet as a living organism. With each successive release, her music has also become more and more organic sounding, culminating with Earth Bow, in which Louise herself is arms deep in humus, communing with birds and insects. Recordings of creation feature prominently; katydids, spring peeper frogs, a creek and various birds are credited as providing additional singing, augmenting the artist’s own mellifluous voice. For a recording in which the track titles and lyrics are focused on nature and Louise’s experiences therein, there are a lot of digital elements. Her 12-string guitar is prominent in places, but synths are everywhere: in the background, bouncing around like shooting stars, and mimicking the various fauna that they accompany. Yet the earthly and the machine-made are not juxtaposed, they are blended. The vocals, which center the recordings, tie both elements together nicely. Earth Bow is a tasty concoction, in which a variety of ingredients are married in botanical bliss.

Bryon Hayes

Le Mav — “Supersonic (Feat. Tay Iwar)” (Immaculate Taste)

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Nigeria’s alté scene has been bubbling for a couple of years now on the backs of guys like Odunsi (The Engine) and Santi, and Gabriel Obi bka Le Mav is no stranger to the fray, having produced Santi’s “Sparky,” Aylø and a recurring favorite of his, singer Tay Iwar. The two have already collaborated at length (for songs off Iwar’s debut album Gemini in 2019, as well as the entirety of last year’s Gold EP), so the comfort level here is established. It shows: Iwar’s smooth-as vocals match Le Mav’s breezy piano descent and gentle rhythmic shuffle in an easygoing song that matches anything you might hear coming from Miguel, Frank Ocean or the Sun-El Musician orbit. “If it feels right, touch the sky,” Iwar suggests early on. Well, don’t mind if I do.

Patrick Masterson

Sugar Minott — “I Remember Mama” (Emotional Rescue)

I Remember Mama by Sugar Minott

At some point after Lincoln Barrington Minott had left Kingston and his early dancehall and lovers rock legacy with Studio One and Black Roots behind for cooler climates and the old world of London, he ran into producer Steve Parr at the Wackies offices. Story goes that the two decided to start up Sound Design Studio with the intent to record and mix for ads, film and music — but scant evidence of this idea exists beyond “I Remember Mama,” released on 7” and 12” in 1985 and reissued for the first time since via Stuart Leath and his long-trusted Emotional Rescue imprint. Parr does most of the work on the recording (Andy MacDonald shines on tenor sax and Paul Uden guitar in the original credits), but it’s all about the sweetness Sugar brings to the table: With backing from two accomplished performers in their own right, Janette Sewell and Shola Phillips, Minott’s naturally relaxed delivery shines through on this. “Sound Design” is a dubbier instrumental version that retains Sewell’s and Phillips’ vocals, and Dan Tyler (half of Idjut Boys) provides an even spacier, handclap-laden 11-minute remix, but while both variants are excellent, the boogie of the original is unassailable. Look for the vinyl to hit in July.

Patrick Masterson

Jessica Ackerley — Morning/mourning (Cacophonous Revival)

Morning/mourning by Jessica Ackerley

It makes sense that Wendy Eisenberg wrote the liner notes to Morning/mourning, since they and Jessica Ackerley are bound by a shared commitment to string-craft. Both have a deep idiomatic foundation in jazz guitar, but neither is willing to be confined by what they’ve learned. In the case of Morning/mourning, that means that patiently paced ruminations upon Derek Bailey-like harmonics sit side by side with frantic but rigorously scripted forays that sound a bit like Jim Hall might if he input the contents of his French press intravenously. This album’s nine tracks observe passings and new beginnings, since Ackerley pulled the recording together while in quarantine, shortly before leaving Manhattan for Honolulu, and titled some of them in tribute to a pair of guitar teachers who were taken by 2020. But in their attention to tone, harmony, velocity and structure, these pieces, like Eisenberg’s records, speak as much to intellect as to emotion.

Bill Meyer

Nadja & Disrotted — Split (Roman Numeral Records)

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It makes a certain kind of sense for Nadja and Disrotted to tackle a split together; although both bands traffic in a particularly foreboding strain of doom metal, they also share a weird sort of comfort. There’s a sense more of horrible things happening around you than to you, like you’re in the eye of the storm or maybe in a bathysphere plunged to crushing depths. There is a precision to the menace, a measured quality to the noise. And they get there when they get there; as Dusted’s Jonathan Shaw pointed out in his review of Disrotted’s Cryongenics, “Pace seems to be the point.” This excellent split doesn’t shy away from these commonalities while still highlighting the distinct timbres of each act, with Nadja settling into and then returning to one of their indelibly titanic bass riffs throughout the 19-minute “From the Lips of a Ghost in the Shadow of a Unicorn's Dream” and Disrotted somehow conjuring the feeling of a massive structure corroding and collapsing on the 15-minute “Pastures for the Benighted”. When the latter slams to a half, one last hit echoing away, the listener may find themselves feeling equally relieved the onslaught is over and kind of missing both sides’ pulverizing embrace.

Ian Mathers

Nasimiyu — POTIONS (Figureight)

P O T I O N S by nasimiYu

Nasimiyu’s songs bounce and shimmy with complex rhythms, her background as a dancer and percussionist for Kabells and Sharkmuffin coming through in the intricate interplay of handclaps, breathy beat-boxing, rattling metal implements, all manner of drums and, not least, her lithe, twining vocal lines. “Watercolor” blossoms out of a burst of choral “la”s, each note allowed to flower briefly before behind cut off with a knife-edge; these are organic sounds shaped with mechanical precision. Against this background, Nasimiyu herself enters, her voice fluttery and syncopated, a bit like Neneh Cherry. The mix is full of separate elements, the backing vocals, a synthesizer working as a bass, handclaps, Nasimiyu’s singing, but the song remains light and translucent. “Feelings,” sings Nasimiyu, “I am in my feelings,” and so, for a moment, are we. Nasimiyu is half Kenyan and half Scandinavian-American, and you can hear a bit of East Africa in the surging sweetness of choral singing on “Immigrant Hustle.” But there’s a post-modern gloss over everything, as the singer brings in sonic elements from jazz, electronica, dance, pop and afro-beat. Yet however many layers are added, the sound remains bright and clear, a bead curtain of musical sensation whose elements click faintly as they brush together, but remain essentially separate.

Jennifer Kelly

Carlos Niño & Friends — More Energy Fields, Current (International Anthem)

More Energy Fields, Current by Carlos Niño & Friends

Multi-instrumentalist and producer Carlos Niño latest album which straddles and largely crosses the line between spiritual jazz and new age ambience features friends from both worlds including Shabaka Hutchings, Jamael Dean, Dntel and Laraaji. Niño, who plays percussion and synthesizer, edited, mixed and produced the album from recordings made in 2019 and 2020 in a variety of settings. The results are largely low-key soundscapes designed to assist meditation on the fields and current of the title. Much evocation of the natural world, chiming eastern influenced percussion and layers of acoustic and synthetic keys that are lovely but tend to lull. It is the slightly disruptive reeds that prick the ears here, Aaron Hall’s plangent tenor on “Now the background is foreground,” Devin Daniels’ alto phrasing on “Together” and Hutchings’ expressive duet with Dean on “Please, wake up.”

Andrew Forell

Shane Parish — Disintegrated Satellites (Bandcamp subscription)

Disintegrated Satellites EP by Shane Parish

The normally ultra-productive Shane Parish didn’t put out a lot of music in 2020, and none of what did come out was recorded that year. It turns out that he was busy giving guitar lessons via zoom and moving from North Carolina to Georgia, but we’re well into a new year and he’s back in Bandcamp. This three tune EP doesn’t declare a new direction, of which Parish has had many, so much as an integration of his interests in American folk music and far Eastern tonalities. Simultaneously familiar and alien, but above all propulsive, it serves notice that the time for reflection has passed.

Bill Meyer

Séketxe — “Caixão de Luxo” (Chasing Dreams)

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The thing that gets your attention about Séketxe is… well, everything: how many of them there are (i.e., how you can’t really tell who’s in the group and who isn’t), how they’re all propellant, a musical bottle rocket bursting out of your speakers, confrontationally in your face on camera — and how much fun it looks like they’re having. Somewhere out there beyond the reaches of kuduro and Mystikal lie the Angolan barks and rasps of this youthful sextet, who trade verses (and a soothing harmony drizzled right across the madness at around 1:40) among one another over an Eddy Tussa sample on a beat by producer about town Smash Midas. What are they on about? My Portuguese is nonexistent, let alone my Luandan slang, but even I can tell that title translates to “luxury casket.” Anyway, it’s bonkers and if you’re looking for a jolt your morning joe doesn’t deliver anymore, Séketxe oughta do it. You’ll never catch me thanking an algorithm, but I guess it’s true the maths can serve it up right every once in a while. Séketxe is the proof.

Patrick Masterson

Tōth — You and Me and Everything (Northern Spy)

You And Me And Everything by Tōth

The title of Alex Toth’s solo debut, Practice Magic and Seek Professional Help When Necessary, alludes to his belief in music as therapy — that there’s an alchemy in the process, yet one that can’t necessarily be depended on to pull you out of an emotional hole when that hole gets too deep. On his new album, You and Me and Everything, all of his recent personal struggles are out in the open. There’s the tale of when he was so fucked up he couldn’t play trumpet at a family funeral (“Turnaround (Cocaine Song)”); there’s leaning on songwriting as a means to process the pain of heartbreak (“Guitars are Better Than Synthesizers for Writing Through Hard Times”); and there’s his ongoing battle with anxiety (“Butterflies”). While such heavy emotional terrain could prove hard-going, Toth approaches everything with a playfulness, a lightness of touch and a gentle haze to the production. Plus, he gets a helping hand from Jenn Wasner (Wye Oak, Flock of Dimes), who lends backing vocals to standout “Daffadowndilly,” which taps into the woozy gorgeousness of prime Robert Wyatt.

Tim Clarke

Mara Winter — Rise, follow (Discreet Editions)

Rise, follow by Mara Winter

For people with busy performance schedules, 2020 posed a problem; how do you stay busy and creative when you can’t do what you usually do? Mara Winter, an American-born, Swiss-based flute player who specializes in Renaissance-era repertoire and instruments, used it to forge a new creative identity. In partnership with experimental composer and multi-instrumentalist Clara de Asís, she began exploring the commonalities between early, composed music and contemporary approaches and developed a platform to disseminate documents of that research into the world. Rise, follow, the inaugural release of Discreet Editions, is an hour-long piece for two Renaissance-style bass flutes played by Winter and Johanna Bartz. The two musicians played long, overlapping tones with contrast attacks, pushing on until they grew so tired from hefting those woodwinds that they just couldn’t play anymore. Effectively the performance unit is a trio, since the two musicians had to accommodate or collaborate with the reverberant acoustics of Basel’s Kartäuserkirche. The church’s echo threw sounds back at the player, turning pure tones into blurred timbres. While the instrumentation is antique, the ideas about sound combination and endurance have more to do with Morton Feldman, Phill Niblock and Aíne O’Dwyer. The result is music that is simultaneously meditative and as heavy as a bench-pressing competition.

Bill Meyer

Wurld Series — What’s Growing (Melted Ice Cream)

What's Growing by Wurld Series

Some reviewers of What’s Growing, the second album by New Zealand’s Wurld Series, have managed to avoid making Pavement comparisons, but it’s hard to fathom their restraint. Brief opener “Harvester” feels like you’re being dropped mid-solo into a random Wowee Zowee track; the guitar tone on lead single “Nap Gate,” on the other hand, sounds like it's nicked straight from Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. And while singer/guitarist Luke Towart doesn’t attempt to match Malkmus’ flamboyance in the vocal delivery department, their voices and wry lyrical observations bear a distinct resemblance to one another. “Caught beneath a dull blade / What a mess that would make” he sings on “Distant Business” before the song reaches its finale where guitar solos blast off from atop other guitar solos in an array of complementary textures. But besides being a ridiculously fun guitar pop record, What’s Growing is also threaded through with a British psych folk vibe replete with Mellotron flute — and the two styles blend seamlessly together thanks to Towart’s partner in crime, producer/drummer Brian Feary (Salad Boys, Dance Asthmatics). So, whether you're looking for a great summer indie rock record or you’ve ever wondered what the Fab Five from Stockton might’ve sounded like if they’d stuck to short songs and had more flutes, this one’s for you.

Chris Liberato

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tayley · 3 years

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wtf someone on ig posted their the summer tic ep cd and you can see on the credits that taylor isn’t credited for writing o star (“all songs written by hayley williams and josh farro except for ‘stuck on you’ written by ken andrews”) i’m so mad 😭😭😭

ah rude. i don’t have the ep so i can’t confirm but 🤧

#ask #anon

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powerbottom · 4 years

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#iconic cover

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bunnywand · 1 year

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if paramore can re-release something as old and obscure as "my hero" - please PLEASE let them finally put the summer tic ep up for streaming/download 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

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bangtanmattel-blog · 5 years

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D.D.D. - The Boyz Dreamlike

Baby Come Back Home - Target S the P

Wave - Limesoda Wave

Wonderland - Ateez Treasure EP.FIN: All To Action

Deja Vu - Dreamcatcher Raid of Dream

Double Knot - Stray Kids Double Knot

Dumb Litty - KARD Dumb Litty

Who Dat B - Jessi Who Dat B

Run - Grizzly & Chung Ha - Run

36.5 - Shaun 36.5

Moon - Shaun 36.5

Be On You - GreatGuys We’re Not Alone_Chapter1: It’s You

Too Much - Bigone & Penomeco Peach Blossom

Daredevil - Zico, Jvcki Wai, Yumdda Thinking Part.1

Icy - Itzy IT’z ICY

Long Flight - Taeyong Long Flight

Where’s My Money - Sam Kim Where’s My Money

Juice - Choi Seo Hyun, Maddox, Seungrae [Prod. Code Kunst] SignHere episode1

No Gravity - Part Time Cooks, MBA [Prod. Jay Park & DJ Wegun & WOOGIE & GroovyRoom] SignHere episode1

Game Good - Simon Dominic, Ryno, sogumm, YELLA D [Prod, GooseBumps & Simon Dominic] SignHere episode1

Genie - VIINI Dimension

Feel Special - Twice Feel Special

Devil - CLC Devil

Stay Beautiful - Jimin Park Stay Beautiful

I Been - Berhana, Crush I Been

Bim Bam Bum - Rocket Punch Pink Punch

25 -BOL4 Two Five

Fear - Seventeen An Ode

Flash -X1 Quantam Leap

UN Village -Baekhyun City Lights

Rolling Rolling - 1TEAM Just

Orange Drive - Bang Yongguk Orange Drive

Dream Play - Limitless Dream Play

To Be Loved - Shaun 36.5

Gottasadae - BewhY The Movie Star

Still Nirvana - Ravi, Haon, Xydo Nirvana II

Telephone - Benji Telephone

I’ll Be There - Yoon Jisung Dear Diary

TMT - Stray Kids Cle 2: Yellow Wood

RPM - SF9 RPM

Questions - Zelo Distance

Happy Now - HA:TFELT & Moon Byul Happy Now

Crystal Ball - Purple Beck Crystal Ball

Popsicle - UHSN UHSN

Umpah Umpah - Red Velvet The ReVe Festival Day 2

That’s Okay - D.O That’s Okay

icywavy - $ammy & Colde icywavy

Lord - Gun Lord

Underwater - Loann Underwater

DAx4 - Simon Dominic DAx4

Giddy Up - Sik-K, HAON, pH-1, Woodie Gochild [Prod, GroovyRoom] Dingo X H1GHR MUSIC

Goldfish - Kodi Green, Kozypop, Kaution Goldfish

Eden - IZ RE:IZ

Bloom Bloom - The Boyz Bloom Bloom

Bloom - ENOi bloom

Y - Fanxy Child Y

Fly - Gaho Fly

Are You Ready? - D-Crunch M0527

Doom Doom - Noir Abyss

Face - Woosung Wolf

What Are You Up To - Kang Daniel Color On Me

Red - The Rose Red

Call Anytime - Jinu & Mino Jinu’s Heyday

Time of Our Life - Day6 The Book of Us: Gravity

Side Effects - Stray Kids Cle 2: Yellow Wood

Gleam - Mamamoo Gleam

Give Me More - VAV, De La Ghetto, Play-N-Skillz

Birthday - Somi Birthday

Tag Tag Tag - VeriVery Veri-CHILL

Boom - NCT Dream We Boom

Lovedrunk - Epik High & Crush sleepless in ________

Zimzalabim - Red Velvet The ReVe Festival Day 1

We Don’t Talk Together - Heize Giriboy We Don’t Talk Together

Heaven - Eden & Heize Heaven

Run Away - Teen Top Dear. N9NE

Movie Star - CIX Hello Chapter 1: Hello, Stranger

What a Life - EXO-SC What a Life

Humph! - Pentagon SUM(ME:R)

Really Really - Cherry Bullet Love Adventure

Eclipse - GOT7 Spinning Top: Between Security & Insecurity

Fun! - fromis_9 Fun Factory

Talk About Love Nu’Est Happily Ever After

Highway To Heaven - NCT #127 We Are Superhuman

No One - Lee Hi & B.I 24 C

Runaway - Eric Nam Runaway

Bet Bet - Nu’Est Happily Ever After

Illusion - Ateez Treasure Ep.3: One To All

You - Xiumin You

Under Cover - ACE Under Cover

Summer Night - Yoona & 20 Years of Age A Walk To Remember

Baptism - Jhnovr & Goretexx Baptism

Snapping - Chung Ha Flourishing

Uh-Oh (G)I-DLE Uh-Oh

Pink Magic - Yesung Pink Magic

Bee - Rothy Color of Rothy

Barriers - Bursters Barriers

I’m On Fire - Eun Jiwon & Blue.D G1

1 in a Million - Astro All Light

Wave - Ateez Treasure EP.3 One To All

Bless You - 1Kyne Bless You

Superhuman - NCT #127 We Are Superhuman

Her Fine Weather - Heize She’s Fine

Bom - BOL4 Puberty Book I Bom

The Fifth Season (SSFWL) - Oh My Girl The Fifth Season

Danger - Super Junior D&E Danger

Howlin’ 404 - Dean Howlin’ 404

Global Extinction - sokodomo & Kirin School Rapper3 Final

BINU - BIBI BINU

K-TOWN - Jay Park & Hit-Boy K-TOWN

Don’t Need Your Love - NCT Dream & HRVY Don’t Need Your Love

Anymore - KittiB 1718: Salem

Ah Yeah - Winner We

Four Seasons - Taeyeon Four Seasons

Leave It - N.Flying Spring Memories

Focus - Kim Don Han D-Hours AM 7:03

Untitled Love Song - Henry Untitled Love Song

Tu Eres - Newkidd Newkidd

From Now - VeriVery Veri-Able

Better Do Better - Vanner V

youknowbetter - hyolyn youknowbetter

Party Girl - Jang Dong Woo Bye

Will You Be My Girlfriend? - M.O.N.T Going Up

Twilight - OneUs Raise Us

Me - CLC Me

Taste - Woo & Giriboy Taste

DMT (Do Ma Thang) - 3YE DMT

Bed - Vandal Love Eclipse

Picky Picky - Weki Meki Lock End LOL

Breathe - AB6IX B:Complete

Me & You - Exid We

Ring On My Ears - OneWe ¼

Awake - JBJ95 Awake

Love Aches - Sik-K Fl1P

OKGO - Beenzino & E-Sens OKGO

She Is - Ovan & Shaun She Is

Blow Your Mind - (G)-IDLE I Made

SSFW - Chanyeol SSFW

Hocus Pocus - BVNDIT BVNDIT, Be Ambitious!

Dang! - GreatGuys Trigger

TMI - Gray TMI

TTM - Bray TTM

Spotlight - 1THE9 XIX

Stars Over Me - BOL4 Puberty BookI Bom

4:44 - Park Bom & WheeIn re: Blue Rose

Title - Coogie Hooligans

Cat & Dog - TXT The Dream Chapter: Star

Chronosaurus - Stray Kids Cle 1: Miroh

Say Hi - Kisum & Woody Say Hi

Universe - Minhyun Universe

Domino - 1THE9 Domino

News - Jang Dong Woo Bye

Memories - Girl Crush Memories

Fancy - Twice Fancy You

No Reason - Heize She’s Fine

Aquarium - Gun Aquarium

Thrilla Killa - VAV Thrilla Killa

Boy With Luv - BTS & Halsey Map of the Soul: Persona

Suffering For Love - Eden Exhalant

Paranoid - Ash Island Ash

Nothing - Loco Hello

Always Be Your Girl - S.I.S. Always Be Your Girl

Put It Straight - (G)I-DLE I Made

Kill This Love - Blackpink Kill This Love

Violeta - IZ*One Heart*IZ

Bomb Bomb- KARD Bomb Bomb

Spring - Park Bom & Sandara Park Spring

See-Through - Ravi & Cold Bay R.OOK Book

Miroh - Stray Kids Cle 1: Miroh

Vibe - 1Team Hello!

Play It Cool - Monsta X & Steve Aoki Take.2 We Are Here

Sha La La - Pentagon Genie:Us

BBANG - HBY Yolo

Still Loving You - 100% RE:tro

What You Waiting For - R.Tee & Anda What You Waiting For

A Day Of Love - B1A4 A Day Of Love

Live - Ravi & Chung Ha Live

Gravity - Trei Born

Maybe It’s Not Our Fault - Yerin Baek Our Love Is Great

I’m So Hot - Momoland Show Me

Bon Bon Chocolat - Everglow Arrival Of Everglow

Pinky Star (Run) - GWSN The Park In The Night Part Two

I Wanna Be - Key & Soyeon I Wanna Be

Want - Taemin Want

Waggy - Mamamoo White Wind

Gogobebe - Mamamoo White Wind

My Star - Mamamoo White Wind

Tuxedo - Ravi R.OOK Book

I’m A Star - Wooseok & Kuanlin 9801

XI - Code Kunst & Lee Hi XI

Flower- Haon Flower

Allure - Hyomin Allure

Focus On Me - JUS2 Focus

Drunk In The Morning - Ryeowook Drunk On Love

Imagine - Key I Wanna Be

Noir - Sunmi Noir

Blue Orangeade - TXT The Dream Chapter: Star

Crown - TXT The Dream Chapter: Star

Hey!- Superbee Heu!

Tonight - Huta & Melody Hutazone

Addict - Sik-K Addict

LOL - Red House & Lake LOL

24hrs - Sangmin 24hrs

ON N ON - Miso ON N ON

Noizy - Sik-K FL1P

Trouble - Exid Trouble

Neon - Yukika Neon

Lonely Night - KNK Lonely Night

DDING - Jvcki Wai, Young B, Osshun Gum, Han Yo Han Dingo X Indigo Music

Alligator - Monsta X Take 2: We Are Here

Terminal - Shaun An-nyeong

WiFi - Saturday Follow Saturday

It’s Been a While - Loco & Zion.T HELLO

Butterfly - Loona [X.X]

Enough - SF9 Narcissus

U Um U Um - Hyomin Allure

I’m Ok - Ikon The New Kids

Hala Hala [Hearts Awakened, Live Alive] - Ateez Treasure Ep:2 Zero To One

Dalla Dalla - Itzy IT’z Different

Twit - Hwa Sa TWIT

Piri - Dreamcatcher The End of Nightmare

Clock - Infinite Clock

We Must Love - ONF We Must Love

The More I See - Aweek The More I See

Cinderella - Rick Bridges Cinderella

Thursday Party - Big Marvel Thursday Party

Missed Call - Jiselle & Chancellor Missed Call

2cm - Minseo & Paul Kim The Diary of Youth

What U Want - UK what u want

Only U - Imfact Only U

No CLC - No.1

I Want U - MustB I Want U

Tic Toc - NeonPunch Watch Out

I Wanna Know - Roh Tae Hyun biRTHday

Home - Seventeen You Made My Dawn

One Side Love - Yodayoung one side love

Fire Up - Woody Fire Up

No Mercy - Bambi No Mercy

Issue - Mckdaddy I’m In Trouble But It Feels Like Everyday

Hikikomori - Bang Yongguk Hikikomori

Ya - Huta Hutazone

Bad Habits - Shaun An-nyeong

Q&A - Cherry Bullet Let’s Play Cherry Bullet

Good To Me - Seventeen You Made My Dawn

Getting Closer - Seventeen You Made My Dawn

Loca - Favorite Loca

All Night - ASTRO All Light

Say My Name - Ateez Treasure EP:2 Zero To One

%% (Eung Eung) - Apink Percent

Sunrise - GFRIEND - Time For Us

Rooftop - N.Flying Fly High Project #2 ‘Rooftop’

Gotta Go - Chung Ha Gotta Go

Valkyrie - Oneus Light Us

Ring Ring Ring - Verivery Veri-us

La La Love - WJSN WJ Stay?

Sappy - Red Velvet Sappy

Spark - Taeyeon Purpose

Nappa - Crush Nappa

Dream Line - Purple Beck Dream Line

Limitless - Ravi, Sik-K, Xydo Limitless Pt. 1

Forever Love - Youngjae O,on

Hip - Mamamoo reality in BLACK

You Calling My Name - GOT7 Call My Name

SOSO - Winner Cross

Make It Right - BTS & Lauv Make It Right

9 and Three Quarters (Run Away) - TXT The Dream Chapter: Magic

BByong - Saturday IKYK

Levanter - Stray Kid Cle: Levanter

Good Bam - N.Flying Yaho

Now - K-Tigers Zero HuiRoAeRak

It’s On You - Teen Teen Very, On Top

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