#the subject he's teaching is horrible but he can be so funny

[felsenbluete]

When your teacher (who's also a real actual judge) starts his story with: "I can tell you this, because only the secret-keeper is punishable by law and somebody else told me" it's going to juicy.

[moondirti]

sorry to the soft simon lovers but i am fixating on the idea of him being too abrasive for greater society. no, hear me out. he can't be normal after what he’s been through. after what he's done.

cw: dead dove. sadism. inferred sexism and stalking. punitive harassment. idk guys he's gross. 18+ MDNI

he's just a little too odd, grim, ugly, cruel, rude. he stares too long and makes jokes that strike the wrong chord in most. he's into things that are not as sexual as they are humiliating to his partners, and can not be satisfied by any relationship his therapist would deem as healthy. even physically, he's torn in all the wrong places. his scars aren’t rugged but almost painful to look at. his hands are huge and calloused and 60 grit sandpaper against soft skin. his nose is crooked. his hair is shorn short. he has a mean smile, watery eyes.

the one thing keeping him from being completely ostracised is the flag on his arm, the one he fights for. but it's like putting a tarp over some horrible, disfigured mess – you can still see the general shape of it underneath. most shrug it off as fine, go figure. you teach a soldier to kill and they cope by being killers. it's funny because simon's issues began way before he enlisted – he spoors it back to conception, when his father gave him a part of himself that can never be scoured clean. the military is just where he resides to conceal the stink of miasma he'll never rid of. piss over piss. putting a reason to the barbarity.

for a while, it's enough. he sticks to the corners. for all his sadism, he's not keen on subjecting the general public to his complications. he's smart enough to separate good from what makes him feel good. he only interacts with others like him – price, mostly, who's better at playing pretend but has issues that bury their roots just as deep. or maybe he's able to see simon for what he really is, and the novelty of not having to bite his tongue is enough to form a gossamer bridge of friendship. he sleeps with masochists who don't know what's good for them, all of them men (though it never pays when they're into what he's inflicting). in between missions, he'll disappear to his shitty apartment that he pays for in cash and drink himself to oblivion as he scrolls through a deprecating XXX site.

if he gets inebriated enough, he'll open up tinder and swipe through the birds advertising themselves, as if he were the holy arbitrator of what's attractive. safe because he made it so that no one would match with him; his profile is blank. no bio, no age. Riley as his first name and a picture of a shutterstock german shepherd because having one photo was a requirement.

the lifestyle probably exacerbates his problems.

maybe that's why he reaches a point of no return when he gets a text late one night. he doesn't give his number to anyone, so the only app it could be from–

your dog's cute. what's his name?

it's to his sloshed astonishment that someone swiped right on him. not even him, but a barebones, dodgy profile he curated to keep everyone at arms length when he chooses to indulge in his destructive habits. you're cute too, suspiciously darling and a whole open book – five pictures, a colourful description and your city of residence. you cannot be short of options, certainly not enough to drive you to a point of desperation, so there's no mistaking what this is.

you're setting up a little pet project. something to bat at like a cat does a ball of yarn, with no intention to commit or ever see him in real life. perhaps you chose him because there’s nowhere to go but up. or because his disinterest seems glaringly obvious, and a simple risk assessment told you that you wouldn't suffer an obsessive stalker if you ever chose to ghost him.

unfortunately for you, that couldn't be further from the truth. that simple question is enough to push him over the edge.

he's tired of holding back.

[marlsswrites]

June 26th <3

Knee - @jegulus-microfic - words: 1747

Most would be surprised by this, but one of Regulus’ favourite subjects is Care of Magical Creatures. He just loves taking care of the animals, they’re so gentle if you treat them right, he much prefers them to humans.

So, almost everyday after his lessons, he walks over to the edge of the forbidden forest and helps out with the creates. The teacher loves him.

“Regulus my dear?” She asked him one day.

Professor June was a lovely woman, probably in her mid thirties, Regulus wasn’t too sure. She had long curly hair down to her waist and it was always dyed a different colour, right now it was midnight blue with some blonde streaks running through it.

“Yes Professor?” He answered as he gathered some fruits from the forest bushes and trees, the Hippogriffs surprisingly loved apples.

“My first seventh year class is tomorrow, we’re going to be studying Hippogriffs and I know how much Buck Beak here likes you.” She patted the giant animals head. “You could come and help out, or just observe, if you like?” She offered a sweet smile. “You are far too advanced to be in your regular class.”

Eagerly, he nodded and cleared his throat. “I’d be happy to help out, keep Bucky safe.” He saw his Professor grin, of course his priority was the Hippogriff, it was Regulus Black you were talking to.

-

Now this is how Regulus found himself leant against a tree at nearly ten in the morning, throwing a green apple up and down on his hands as he waits for the professor to arrive along with the rest of the students.

Normally the kids aren’t allowed near the forbidden forest without supervision, but he was an exception and definitely the one they shouldn’t be worrying about. He’s pretty sure he’s seen his brother and his gang of idiots wandering around the forest at ungodly hours of the morning.

Why was here there, you may ask? Well that’s no one’s business, he finds it’s far more relaxing outside. It’s either that or listen to Barty’s horrible fucking snoring.

He continued to toss the apple as he zoned out, watching and listening to the ripples on a nearby pond. Up, down, up, d- what the fuck?

The apple stayed motionless in the air, taunting him as he jumped to get it, failing every time.

Finally coming to a conclusion, he heard the crunch of leaves behind him and he whipped around, glaring at the dark skinned brunette before him.

“Potter.” He hissed. “Put-“

“Reggie!” He smiled widely, way too happy for this early in the morning.

“You know better than all people that I don’t like being called that.” He growled.

Potter raised his hands in surrender, chuckling a little bit at the shorter boy. “Hey now, don’t hex me again.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe I should start a bingo card. Hexed by Regulus, check. Slapped by Regulus, check-“

“All of them very deserved, may I add.”

“-insulted by Regulus, check check che-“

Regulus fetched his wand out of his pocket, casting a quick wordless spell before the apple fell with a thud followed by a yelp, right on top of the Potter boys head.

“Well okay, ouch?!”

In that moment, Professor June decided to stroll over. Her black skirt clipping her heels as she folded her arms and offered an unimpressed look towards Regulus.

“Regulus, we’re teaching the students, not dropping apples on their heads.”

“In my defence, he deserved it.”

“Don’t I always.” James grumbled, now grabbing the apple from the floor and tossing it around in his hands.

Regulus stood next to his Professor and started to walk away with her, shouting over his shoulder. “Finally, you get it!”

He heard a laugh come from James as Regulus walked further away, leaves and twigs crunching beneath his dark green converse.

Why does that boy always find Regulus’ insults funny? They’re not funny in the slightest, he’s being as rude as he can get.

The Slytherin scoffs out loud, ignoring the strange looks from his Professor.

-

The helping was pretty simple, Professor June spoke, letting Regulus add some things, and then he’d demonstrate. Her excuse being that her skirt is too impractical to climb onto a Hippogriff, but he really didn’t mind doing so.

“So! Any volunteers?” The Professor spoke loudly.

Murmurs erupted from the students as they all took a few slow steps backwards. Regulus locked eyes with the Potter boy as he edged backwards.

Wimp, Regulus mouthed. Now he can just watch it all unfold.

He leant against the tree, running his hands through Buck beaks feathers as he watched Potter jump forwards and raise his hand.

Not quite hearing the discussion between Professor June and Potter, Regulus took his time to look at the Gryffindor boy, like actually look.

Currently he had flushed red cheeks pigmented on his tan skin, his messy, wild, brunette hair blowing in all directions due to the wind. His shirt was buttoned down far further than allowed, showing off the top of his collarbone. His shirt was untucked and his tie undone and hung lazily around his neck.

He looks so messy, why does he look good? How can he look like he’s just rolled out of bed but still look gorgeous.

Regulus must have been staring for a moment too long, when the Professor and James Potter came walking over to him, Professor June saying something that he didn’t quite hear. Admittedly, he was busy staring at the golden jewellery on Potters hands and neck.

“Sorry, what did you say?” He asked with a puzzled look.

“Away with the fairies are we, Regulus?” The teacher spoke with an amused smile.

Ignoring the eyebrow wiggle from James, he sent a glare in the brunettes direction before turning back to the Professor, still in need of an actual answer. “I was just telling Mr Potter that you would help him mount Buck beak, could you do that?” She asked.

He wasn’t quite sure what this task entailed, he just hoped he didn’t have to touch the Potter boy more than needed. He already gets annoyingly flustered around the boy, there’s no point adding more fuel to the fire.

Nodding, he explained to James how everything worked.

First, you had to make sure the Hippogriff trust you. Then, you have to slowly and very carefully, place a hand on the animals beak, that’s its invitation to kneel down.

James followed these steps perfectly, Buck beak loved him. Regulus wasn’t jealous at all… nope.

A little voice at the back of his head teased him, which one are you jealous of?

Pushing the thought away, he focused back on James. The boy did quite well, he was currently sat atop Buck beak, stroking his feathers and looking around in awe.

“You ready Potter?” Regulus spoke as he stood on his tiptoes, running a hand along the Hippogriffs smooth beak.

“I wish you’d just call me James.”

Regulus shrugged, ignoring the statement and looking around to make sure James was safe.

“Okay, hit your foot to his side to set off.” Regulus pointed out. “And when you come back down, just come straight back here.” He reached his hand out to point at the points on Buck beaks back. “Place your arms there to hold on so you don’t fall off, and you have to be very calm.”

“So you do care about me?” James spoke, a pleased grin appearing on his face.

“Fuck off.”

No one else spoke, the amused grin staying on James’ face as he looked away from the Slytherin and muttered something to Buck beak before setting off. He sent a small wave in Regulus’ direction as the Hippogriffs feet lifted off the ground, causing James to nearly fall off.

Regulus let out a small snort and rolled his eyes fondly, he was so stupid sometimes, how did Regulus manage to find that endearing?

-

About ten minutes later, James came flying down with so much ease, he looked perfect.

Buck beaked landed on the floor with the clicking sound of his heels and the crunch of twigs underneath him.

James, clearly not remembering Regulus’ specific instructions to ‘remain calm’ cheered loudly and lifted his hands up into the air while Buck beak was still walking. The Hippogriff, clearly spooked, stopped halt on the spot and lifted his front legs off the ground, sending James falling into a heap on the floor.

“Fuck-“ Regulus ran over to the boy on the floor, who wasn’t too far away from him. “James?” He spoke as the Professor and many other students crowded around, James still had his eyes closed.

James, like the idiot he is, kept his eyelids down and stretched his lips out onto a wide grin. “James,” he mocked in a soft voice. “You should do that more.”

“Merde.” Regulus sighed through his teeth and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

“Whats wrong with him?” Sirius spoke hesitantly from Regulus’ side, making him jump and look at his brother.

“Concussion?” Lupin added from Sirius’ side.

James’ eyes flickered open, Regulus was leant over him, trying to see if there was any serious damage. “Hi.” The Gryffindor sighed quietly.

“Hi.” Regulus responded absentmindedly.

“Pretty.” James spoke again as Regulus gave him a puzzled look.

“What?” Both the Black brothers spoke at the same time.

“Hm?” James smiled and attempting to run his hand through Regulus’ black curls, shockingly, Regulus actually let him for a moment before snapping back into reality and pulling James’ hand away from his face. A whine came from the brunettes mouth, Regulus is pretty sure James’ is pouting now.

Professor June walked closer, pushing the students away. “Stop crowding, move back! Not you Regulus, I need some help.”

Regulus nodded, sliding down onto the muddy ground and sitting on his knees in front of James. “James- open your eyes.”

“Anything for you.” James pinched his eyes open, looking blinded by the sun and clearly not noticing the red flush of Regulus’ cheeks - which had to be horribly prominent on his pale, ghostly skin.

“How do you feel?”

“My knee hurts, but keep your hand there, it’ll make me feel better.” He gave a goofy smile, Regulus only just realising the hand he had placed on James’ thigh, swiping it away quickly. “Mean.” He frowned.

Choosing to ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach, he turned to his Professor. “Yep, definitely concussed.”

[fairyhaos]

seventeen as teachers

requested by @weird-bookworm ! it's a little to the left of what you asked but i hope it's alright anyway ><

masterlist

seungcheol

architecture professor. kind of thanks to physics!cheol anon for this idea but he really encourages hands-on learning especially for his subject, and he draws big diagrams on the board and gestures wildly with his hands as he's explaining why the models work and what do the students think of it? also he definitely gives vibes of someone who high fives the students when their models withstand his shaking tests, but also laughs and claps when they fall apart. because it's all about learning, isn't it? and he's with you to help you learn every step of the way. 

jeonghan

kindergarten teacher. cannot for the life of him handle kids older than that because then they get too tricksy and talkative for him and he gets tired too easily to deal with that. actually really good at handling the toddlers. he's also very pretty so all the kids unironically hang onto his every word, basically making him the god at keeping children in line. when he gets too tired of running around after them he just goes “kids :((( jeonghan is tired :(((“ and they immediately settle down to do something else

joshua

music teacher (1). he's a total department crush (and even school-wide crush) amongst the other teachers because he's so pretty and so kind, always and accidentally keeps making teachers fall for him bc he talks to them so nicely w that pretty smile of his. renowned for his ability to compose melodies on the piano on the spot, and always has students wanting him to help (cough compose for them) parts of their composition work. no one knows what he does outside of work, though. it's like he disappears into thin air after school finishes. 

junhui

gives me eccentric uni professor vibes. sits on his desk with his feet dangling and asks all sorts of strange and irrelevant questions to the students that are, actually, not strange and entirely relevant. has everyone walking out of his lectures feeling like a changed person because he either a) managed to get horribly off track or b) made them rethink their entire life choices. loved by all, and maybe a bit too much. poor guy definitely had an obsessed student try to follow him home before he got lost himself and so they both ended up in the middle of nowhere

hoshi

chemistry teacher. no other reason other than i think he'd look great with a pair of goggles on his forehead pushing his fringe back at funny angles whilst he grins maniacally and goes, “hey, kids, today we're gonna set things on fire!!!!”. so passionate about teaching these things to the students, and rambles on like he only has 5 minutes left on earth and he's gonna use every second to cram in as much chemistry knowledge into the students’ brains as he can in that time. it works, too. his passion inspires so many of them to take chemistry further up in the school. 

wonwoo

history teacher. all the students want him for their teacher when they take history because he's actually, like, competent and knows stuff. known for taking no shit when it comes to doing assignments on time because he sets reasonable deadlines and if you can't make them, then that's on you, not him. students love him. also super duper helpful if you have any questions and is always free at lunch to help bc he'll do anything to escape the hyperactive claws of mr. kwon and mr. wen who are always up to shenanigans

woozi

music teacher (2). mans life literally revolves around music and i can't imagine him doing anything else. department ace. conductor of both the symphony and concert orchestra, and rearranges all of the parts himself when the students find it a little too difficult. also do Not engage this man in a conversation about anything to do with music theory because he will rant for ages and any quick question turns into half of your lunch break being missed. he means well, though, and always gets ridiculous amount of thank-you presents at the end of the year. 

minghao

art teacher (1). dresses like one, too, and has been voted as ‘best dressed teacher’ for the past 3 years in a row. all the art students are kind of afraid of him because if you ask for feedback, there is a 50/50 chance that he'll rip you a new one whilst explaining what you did wrong. there's never any true cruelty to his words, though, cuz hes always actually giving genuine advice and he's always right in what he advises, so students either love him or hate him for his criticisms, though mostly it's the former. he's pretty, too, and his works are pretty, so that's a plus

mingyu

teaches business studies to the older students, purely cz i think he gives maths-adjacent vibes. he teaches a “special” subject that's not available to the younger kids and he's ridiculously handsome so he's kind of like a legendary figure in the school. even if he's a bit silly and adorable at times, he's also super good at holding intellectual debates with his students about current economic and political affairs. can be found bickering with mr. yoon bc the kindergarten teacher wants him to help with his taxes.

dokyeom

art teacher (2). smiles brighter than the sun at all hours of the day, and when the senior students are drowning in coursework and artist research deadlines, he's like the one and only guiding light that helps them get through it because of how endlessly optimistic he is. half the seniors take art solely because of him, actually. also a firm believer that all art is good art and there's no such thing as a “non-artist”. scolds minghao after work when he feels like the other teacher was being too harsh to the students

seungkwan

part of the senior leadership team. takes his position veryyy seriously, strides briskly around the school with a jingle of w set of keys he managed to procure from…somewhere. is always on top of uniform inspections which is always annoying for the kids, but he's also melodramatic and smiley so they love him anyway. the students are always try to recruit him for teacher quizzes and events bc he makes everything way more fun. 

vernon

classics teacher. this might seem odd but hear me out!!! dude loves ancient history and Will do deep dives on old artefacts and cultures that interest him, and i think that passion can definitely be transferred to him teaching kids about latin, ancient greek, old civilizations. known for sharing nothing about his personal life but also being able to talk for ages about something that happened over 1000 years ago. the students all find him super cool and also super endearing. 

chan

the guy who's hired externally from some sports club to act as the teacher to students during after school clubs. teaches martial arts, mainly, but he supervised an impromptu dance club one semester and the students loved it so much that they managed to bring the dance club onto the permanent schedule. everyone loves him. his sports club is 10000% sure that half the children who come to them were recruited through chan's lovely personality alone. 

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[bigfootsboytoy]

A lot of people love to talk about teacher!Steve and I've seen people speculate about him teaching History, or English or Gym. But hear me out...Art Teacher.

Steve Harrington, who took art as an elective in highschool thinking it would be an easy grade, but who ends up actually really enjoying it. He likes the satisfaction of making something and the methodical process of doing it. Later in life he knows he wants to work with kids, but he doesn't think he would be happy trying to teach any of the core subjects like math or English, he never cared for them much himself, and even the classes he liked he wasn't super skilled in. Then he thinks back to that art class, remembers how much he enjoyed himself, and he finds himself taking classes towards a teaching degree a few months later.

After a while, Steve finds himself with a job teaching art at a local middle school. He loves it. He loves working with the kids, even though most of them are little assholes. Apparently, that isn't unique to the party. All young kids are kind of assholes. But they're also funny, and they put thought into the projects he gives them. He always gives them a lot of wiggle-room creatively, giving assignments that focus on certain techniques like painting or working with clay, but allowing them to choose the subject matter themselves. He works alongside them, making his own little projects. He isn't VanGogh by any means, but he kind of likes that. It helps show his students that they can have fun with the art and really make something they can be proud of without worrying about it being perfect or looking like something they would see in a museum. His students adore him. They tease him and make fun of him, but at the end of the day, almost every student who takes his class ends up raving about it to their friends. Parents he meets on occasion love him too. And only partially because he looks hot as hell with his glasses and his paint-stained apron.

At the end of a project, he has everyone go around and talk about what they made. He isn't picky. They can talk about their favorite part of making it, the story behind it, why they chose certain colors, and parts they struggled with. Any little bit of extra information about the project is enough to get the points. He wasn't expecting them to rope him into it when he first started. Now, he fully expects the questions they ask whenever he shows off a project with them.

The first project is charcoal drawings, and Steve draws a weird looking bat with a crazy mouth and no eyes. He tells the class that a bunch of his family play DND, and they have really vivid imaginations. It isn't a lie.

Next they do sand-art and Steve makes a set of patterns comprised of bright, vivid colors. Oranges and pinks and greens. He tells the class it represents his best friend, who is one of his favorite people in the world. A week later he tells the class that he showed her the sand art and she declared it the ugliest thing she had ever seen, then proceeded to hang it in her room with a bright smile on her face.

During the sculpting unit, he makes a homemade mug, with little fish carved on the side. He tells the class his father-in-law collects mugs, and this one is going to be a birthday gift.

The class seemed to like sculpting, so he does a unit on wire-art. He makes a small wire guitar and a wire ring. The class ask, with shit eating grins, if he's got somebody he's planning on proposing to. He happily tells them he already proposed, this ring is just for fun, since his partner loves to wear them.

Steve's small apartment fills up over the years with tons of art projects gifted to him by his students, paintings and drawings hanging on the walls, and a whole bookshelf dedicated to the 3D work. He remembers that first part class he took sometimes, back when he was just a sad kid who's friends were all assholes, he was a bit of an asshole himself, who didn't know that horrible things existed just under his feet. He thinks back on it fondly enough, but he couldn't be happier that he isn't that kid anymore. He's pretty damn pleased being the teacher now.

[siriuslyobsessedwithfiction]

Baghra Morozova is one of the most selfish fictional characters ever written. Not only she possesses no empathy, she has never had an aspiration or an ambition in her life. This is probably LB's fault because she didn't give her a personality except being a bitter nihilistic pessimist, but let's discuss the harmful ideology she lived by and tried to install into his son and Alina. And how Aleksander refused to learn that lesson from her.

Wanting doesn't make someone weak, nor it is a problem.

Darkling's infamous words "The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak" is purely an echo of his mother's teachings. Because Darkling's whole source of strength and motivation since he was thirteen was the want to make a better world for Grisha. Or at least a world where they wouldn't be hunted and shamed for existing. After centuries of loyal servitude to awful rulers he managed to create a safe haven for Grisha, but even there, they were serfs.

There is no denying that Baghra was an intelligent, ruthless, powerful, cunning and unfeeling woman. Unlike her son, who was prone to sentiment even though she did her best to weed it out of him, Baghra was not particularly emotional even when she was young. I don't know if she had some sort of mental condition or she was just that kind of person, but she lived for centuries and never had a dream to become anything. Creation of her son Aleksander served only one purpose to her - so she would have someone like herself. Someone she could share loneliness with. Because I cannot call Baghra's and Aleksander's relationship companionship. She made that decision when she was young, and after raising him, she often left him to his own devices, but never actually let him out of her clutches. She abandoned her other children because they weren't Darklings. She did not want a family, she wanted a reflection of herself who she could have a conversation with. Aleksander should have just brought her the mirror from "When water sang fire" which could create an illusion of a person's reflection being sentient.

Anyway, back to the point. Baghra was a part of a prosecuted minority for centuries and never tried to make a difference. Nor did she support her son when he tried. I can understand how at first she was solely focused on survival and that mindset stayed with her, but after both of them were centuries old, why didn't she do something? She clearly didn't fear death. She is content to sit in her hut, stroke fire and spit venom for eternity. Which is funny, because she's supposed to be inspired by Baba Yaga from Slavic fairytales, but she reminds me more of Nacarqeqia, a stereotype of a lazybones layabout lit ash-raker from fairytales, who has capacity to do heroic things by outwitting the opponents, but chooses to sit by the dwindling fire and complain and daydream instead.

When your kind has been subjected to genocide for centuries, it's not "greedy" and "corrupt" to take drastic action.

Tolkien pushed the narrative I agree with, that war is always horrible and it's not something to be glorified, which lots of works in fantasy tend to overlook. I agree with Baghra that power corrupts. But like @aleksanderscult and @stromuprisahat have already discussed in their analysis posts (check out their work), Aleksander did not want power for himself or to lift Grisha above other people. He wanted his kind to have basic human rights. I don't understand what LB was trying to say. That fighting for freedom of your people is bad? And Baghra is convinced it's best to do nothing, because humanity is already too messed up and there's no point in trying. Some wise ancient advisor she is.

What actual humanitarians think about not taking action to help your people survive

Nobleman Ilia Chavchavadze was a Georgian public figure, journalist, publisher, writer and poet who spearheaded the revival of Georgian nationalism during the second half of the 19th century and ensured the survival of the Georgian language, literature, and culture during the last decades of Tsarist rule. (A.k.a "Saint Ilia the Righteous". Ironic, I know. Like Baghra's father, Ilya Morozova in Shadow and Bone. But I wouldn't compare them.)

In his publication "Letters of a traveler", Chavchavadze writes his inner monologue, where he worries about his country and contemplates what to do, as he returns from Russia to his homeland. He writes:

"I went out from my room and looked over at Mqinvari, which they call Mount Kazbek. There is something noble about Mqinvari. Truly can it say: the heavens are my head-dress and the earth my slippers. It rose in the azure sky, white and serene. Great is it, calm and peaceful, but it is cold and white. Its appearance makes me wonder but doesn't move me, it chills me and does not warm me — in a word it is Mqinvari /frozen/. Mqinvari with all its grandeur is to be admired but not to be loved. And what do I want with its greatness. The world's hum, the world's whirlwind and breezes, the world's ill or weal makes not even a nerve in his lofty brow twitch. Although his base stands on mother earth his head rests: in heaven; it is isolated; inaccessible. I do not like such height nor such isolation nor such inaccessibility." This is Baghra's life in a nutshell. Not bothering to engage, standing still, isolated for centuries. Her connection to making at the heart of the world, her gift, her life, wasted.

Aleksander is different. He's constantly in danger, he is dangerous but in a different way, he stumbles, crashes, redefines himself, pushes forward no matter what to achieve his goal. -

"Thank God for the desperate, mad, furious, obstinate, disobedient muddy river Terek! Leaping from the black rock's heart he goes roaring and shouting on his way. I love his noisy murmur, its hurried struggle, grumbling and lamentation. The river is the image of human awakened life, it is a face mobile and worth knowing.

Stand still but a little while and dost thou not turn into a stinking pool and does not this fearsome roar of thine change to the croaking of frogs! It is movement and only movement, my Terek, which gives to the world its might and life."

I hope we can all understand this metaphor and what it stands for, I believe I have explained enough.

[snazzilystoopid]

What it's like to date Cole Brookstone

The dragons rising trailer gave me Cole fever 😭😭 so yk I just gotta do a Cole post to appreciate this lego man's existence

Enjoy this yall heheh

Starting off strong: texting. The guy will spam you if you don't answer within 5 minutes

He's always worrying if something bad had happened to you 😭

He's also a ninja (obviously) so he's gonna be busy most of the time

That doesn't mean he doesn't make time for you though heheh

Before he'd leave for a mission he'd send you a sweet message, or leave small pouch of your favourite sweets for you

For your 3 month anniversary, he got you a pair of headphones

They're extra special bc they match with his <3

He sends you gym pics. Ok? He just does.

Mainly because he knows on the other side of that screen you're a blushing mess

Sometimes Cole will just walk around you shirtless to tease you, because he knows you're always gonna be staring

If you can bake, this man will BEG you to make cakes.

If you can't, you at least try. He'll always eat them, even if they are a little burnt

Its the thought that counts though, right?

His love language is touch, so you guys cuddle often

If cuddling isn't really your thing, that's okay! He'll settle for always holding your hand

When it comes to kissing however, hes so passionate that you usually have to lean on something, like a wall or a table 😭

When things get a little steamy he'll definitely be hoisting you up and wrapping his arms around you

(HELP WHY AM I GRINNING WHILE WRITING THIS AHAHAHAHSHS)

Your dates usually consist of desert places, picnics, and CD/Vinyl records shopping

He love love loves music so whenever you tag along with him to these shops he loves it, and also really appreciates the company

Sometimes you both put in one ear each of Cole's earphones and just lie on his bed together listening to music

Its so therapeutic for both of you

He tried to teach you how to play the drums a few times, but you're horrible at it, sorry 💀

(Unless you can acc play the drums ofc)

When you met Lou, he told you a bunch of funny stories about his dance lessons as a kid

Cole gets so annoyed whenever he does this but you think its cute <333

Lou would also go on to tell you how much Lily would've loved you

It felt a little uncomfortable talking about his mother, because you know how much of a sensitive subject it is for him

But Cole did agree, you reminded him a little of his mother

In truth, Lou sees himself and Lily in you and Cole

Although he denies it, Cole loves it when you trace his scars

Especially the ghost scar on his forehead

Also loves it when you trace his jaw

Whenever you randomly do, I promise this guy WILL just melt right there

Since his hair is really long, you're always trying out random hairstyles on him

He always protests, but he really does love it hehe

The man is such a tease, sometimes he'll swoop down to capture your lips in a kiss, only for him to kiss the corner of your mouth instead

Other times (when you're alone ofc,) Cole trails kisses down your neck and just randomly stops, and you always complain

He finds you so adorable when you're complaining 😭

He has a passion for singing, but will never sing in front of anyone apart from you

Most of the time, whenever he sings to you its a love song that both of you like 🥰

He's usually a pretty chill boyfriend, and doesn't normally get jealous

But on the very rare occasion that he does, he won't show it

Instead he'll get all pouty and whenever you ask what's wrong, his only response is to pull you into a hug

He'll most likely feel a little self-conscious and wonder if you're becoming uninterested in him

DONT give Cole a reason to feel sad. Do not. 😒

Anyways

He didn't tell the ninja he had a partner until Jay and Nya spotted you two in a vinyl records store holding hands

They interrogated the poor thing for like 3 hours when he got back

But once they all met you they really liked you!

Kai and Jay subjected you to more embarrassing Cole stories, which the earth ninja was NOT happy about

He prefers to spend time with you alone, away from other people

He vents to you a lot of the time and tells you about his struggles and his feelings

Hes actually really open with you, but he never pressures you to tell him anything

He wants to be able to earn your trust <3

(Sorry for any typos!!)

That is all ! I hope you guys enjoyed this little hc post 🤭 stay tuned for more !!

[pensat-i-fet]

More Gavi (Pablo Gavi x Reader)

**Another cute request. It was fun writing this one and adding a bit of Spanish. I never want to put too much because some people might find it annoying but it obviously makes sense here. Let me know your thoughts about that. And enjoy reading ❤️**

Word count: 2328

Masterlist

Wattpad

"Hey".

"I need your help", he said, getting inside the house without looking back.

"Hello to you too, mister rude".

You walked to the living room right when Gavi turned to look at you, expression serious.

"What's going on?"

"I have to do an advert for Nike".

You couldn't help but hit his arm when he said that.

"Don't come into my house talking as if something horrible has happened and then say that, you idiot. You scared me!"

"I have to speak English!!", he said, raising his hands as if that explained everything.

"So?"

"I don't know how to. You do. So you need to help me".

“Alright then. First lesson. How do you say por favor in English? Easy one to warm up?”

But as much as you wanted to tease him, when you saw his worried face, you knew you would help him. Of course, you were going to. You’d do anything for him.

“I’ll help you”, you said, rolling your eyes.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

When he hugged you, you sighed. You didn’t need to ask him how to say that you were the stupid girl who fell in love with her best friend and that kept getting friend zoned because you knew that one already.

“What do you need to say?”

“I’ll show you the script they gave me”.

You cleared the table you had been using for work and picked up a notebook just in case you needed it at some point.

“Here”.

A quick look at the list made you frown. “That’s it?”

“Yes”.

“Pablo, it’s just a couple of words that are almost the same as in Spanish”.

“But I pronounce them weirdly!”, he complained again.

“Because you’re Spanish!”

“So are you and you can speak English well”.

“I’m the exception”, you joked, flipping your hair.

Gavi groaned and hit his head against the table, making you laugh. He was so extra.

“How do you say mi amiga es insoportable? (My friend is unbearable)”

“My friend is the most beautiful girl in the world”.

“Hilarious!”

While he still looked at you, pouting, you picked up the notebook and wrote the words down.

“Ok. So we got intensity, which is intensidad”.

“Yeah”.

“So repeat: in-ten-si-ty”.

“In…tensi…ty”.

“You sound like you are afraid of the word when it describes you perfectly”.

“I’m afraid of saying it. Did I do well?”

“Could have been worse. Let’s just say it again but a bit faster”.

You kept practising until he felt confident and you could move to saying the whole sentences in one go.

“Ok, precision now”.

“What?”

His confused face made you laugh. He was so adorable…and you needed to stop thinking about him being adorable.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“The way you said it was funny”.

“Also, the correct way. It’s almost like precisión. Come on…”.

“It’s nothing like precisión”.

“We’ll go slowly with this one then”.

You wrote the syllables down and pointed at each one so he could repeat after you.

“Pre”.

“Pre”.

“Ci”.

“Ci.”

“Sion”.

“Sion”.

“Precision”.

“I can’t!”

This time, instead of putting his head against the table, he put it on your shoulder. One of his hands went to the back of your chair, but the other was on your thigh. You knew he’d always been like this but ever since you were aware of your feelings for him being so strong, it became hard to deal with him touching you so much.

“You know what this reminds me of?”, you said, moving so he could go back to his chair and changing the subject to distract yourself.

“Of what?”

“That episode of Friends in which Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French and she talks slowly and he’s doing fine. But then he has to say the whole thing and says some gibberish. That was you, literally”.

“I’ve never watched Friends. I don’t know”.

You were shocked. How could you have known him for so long and not know this dark secret?

“We can’t be friends, then”.

“Why?”

“I love Friends!”

“We can watch it later. I’m not leaving until I know how to do this so get the guest room ready. Or maybe I’ll fall asleep in your bed again if I convince you to keep teaching me until you literally fall asleep”.

Yeah…that wasn’t going to happen. That was something that happened ��before”. Not now.

“You’re doing really well. We’ll be done soon”.

“Really?”, his happy face always made you smile. “How do you say eso es porque tengo la mejor profesora?”

“That’s because I have the best teacher. And yes, that's exactly why".

You continued working on his pronunciation until it was time for dinner. Teaching was exhausting and Gavi run from training straight to your house so you were both starving.

“You don’t have to cook after all you’ve helped me. Let me order something”.

Before you had time to move, Gavi was right behind you, hugging you and putting his chin on your shoulder to look at what you were preparing.

“It’s just pre-made stuff. Move back so I can put it in the oven”.

The way you took his arms off you made him frown. You’ve never reacted like that to him hugging you.

“Are you ok?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”, you asked, putting the food in the oven and avoiding looking at him. Too afraid he’d noticed the reason why you didn’t want him to touch you. “Should I make a salad too?”

“Sure”.

Once the food was ready, you took your plates to the sofa and you found online the episode of Friends you were talking about before. “The one where Joey speaks French”.

You loved screening movies and shows for people. You would look at them whenever you knew something interesting was about to happen and most were annoyed by the spoiler, but Gavi never minded. Especially with horror movies. You saved him from being scared so many times.

“I’m cold”, he said suddenly, and you took your blanket and gave it to him.

He moved closer to you so it could cover both of you and you tried to just focus on the show. No longer interested in looking at him because he was too close and your heart was beating fast enough already.

“I’m still cold”.

“I’m not turning the heating on in March”.

“Cuddle me, then”.

It was too dark, thankfully, for him to see your face at that moment. “I can get you a hot water bottle if you want”.

“Or you could just cuddle me like we have done a million times”.

“My back hurts. I’m comfortable in this position, sorry”.

“Really? Is that why you pulled away from my hug earlier?”

Now you did turn to look at him. Not only had he noticed but he was worrying about it.

“Yeah”.

“Do you need some medicine? Or I could buy some pomade and help you apply it”.

Why was he coming up with the worst ideas?

“I’ll take some paracetamol later, don’t worry. It’s nothing”.

Even though he wasn’t convinced, he didn’t talk about it more. At least he had an answer now for your weird reaction when he hugged you. It had hurt him so much to feel rejected by you…by the best friend he was in love with.

                                    **

Having Fridays off was a blessing. You got to sleep in after a week of early mornings…except for when you got calls at 8.30 am.

“Who on Earth is calling me…”, but then you say the name on the screen and answered immediately.

“I need you!”

Oh God…

“And I need sleep, Gavi”.

“You have to come to film the advert with me, please. I’ve forgotten everything you taught me”.

“No, you haven’t. You’re nervous. And I’m sure they have people there who can help you”.

“But I don’t want them. I want you”.

How you wished he was saying that in another context.

“I’ll be there. But you owe me one. Well…another one”.

“I love you!”

“Yeah yeah yeah”.

Getting out of your warm bed was hard but knowing you were going to spend the morning with Gavi made it a little easier. Even if it was getting harder and harder to just be his friend.

By the time you got there, everyone was getting a bit impatient about having to wait for “a friend”.

“Sorry, traffic was bad”.

“Can we start now?”, said one of the guys with the cameras.

“Yes”, told him Gavi, side-eyeing him. “She has to come with me so she can help me read the lines”.

“As long as we can start working, I don’t care if she wants to be your foot stunt double for the shoots”.

The guy’s grumpy tone made you laugh.

“You don’t want me to kick the ball”.

“I know”, laughed Gavi, kissing your cheek and telling you to follow him.

It was hard, but you managed to resist the urge to touch the area where he had kissed you. You could still feel his lips there. He was making it so difficult…

Gavi was actually way more nervous about speaking those few English words than you expected. He was criticised so much for his on-the-pitch behaviour that he didn’t want this to be another reason for people to make fun of him. So you took this even more seriously than back at your place.

Finally, after some struggling, he was done. And you could tell the crew was so happy to be done with this advert. Something so simple had taken so long.

“More Gavi, yeah…just what the world needs”, you joked when he was going back to where you waited for him.

“It’s what you need, don’t lie. How do you say cuanto más Gavi, mejor?”

“The more Gavi, the better. But that’s a lie so don’t say it to people. Your mum taught you better than that”.

He laughed and put his arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to his side. And even if you knew this wasn’t helping, at all, you let him. Putting your arm around his waist, you let him hold you because it felt so good to be that close to him. Better than it should.

“How do you say…”, he wasn’t going to stop now, “te como la cara?”

You snorted at that. “I wouldn’t recommend you telling people you want to eat their face. It sounds weird”.

“It doesn’t sound weird in Spanish”.

“That’s because we are weird. So one weird cancels the other”.

“I want to do it anyway”, he said, pretending he was going to bite your cheek and making you move away from him.

“Stop that!”

“But I’m hungry!”

And you kept bickering on the way to your car, not realising once again that the feelings were mutual. That you moved away from him to protect your feelings or that he wanted to be always as close to you as possible because there was no one else that made him feel the way you did.

                               **

Pablito ❤️: the ad is out. I posted on IG. Go see it!

You: compliment your teacher on my behalf. Brilliant job she did.

Pablito ❤️: I’m on my way.

You: I didn’t mean literally!

The doorbell alerted you that Gavi was already there. This boy…

“What is that?”

“Your favourite cupcakes as a thank you”.

“You still owe me but thank you for always enabling my sugar addiction”.

He stayed in the living room while you went to the kitchen to get some napkins and plates for the cupcakes.

“Ok, the one with all the fruit for you and the one with all the chocolate for me”.

“Can I have a bite of your one?”

“Sure”.

You watched the ad while you ate, laughing at all the moments you knew had to be redone more than 20 times.

“You really made that crew earn their salary that day, Pablito”.

“I don’t think they’ll ever want to work with me again”.

“Who could blame them?”

Seeing you laugh was always special for Gavi. It was while you were laughing at one of his jokes that he thought, for the first time, about how beautiful you really were. He always knew you were but…he fully noticed what that beauty meant to him. The sound you made when you laughed was music to his ears, but it was the way your face lit up that hypnotized him.

“What?”, you asked when you saw him staring at you. “I have chocolate on my face?”

But he couldn’t talk, so he just shook his head.

He was tired of hiding his feelings. Of pretending he wasn’t in love with you for fear of you turning him down. It could ruin your friendship and he knew that. He feared that could happen. But living in fear was painful too. He had to do this.

“Can we have another lesson?”

“Sure”.

You didn’t look very convinced because he was worrying you a bit.

“How do you say te quiero?”

You swallowed. He should know that. Why was he asking? “I love you”.

He nodded. “And how do you say te quiero pero no quiero quererte solo como un amigo?” (I love you but I don't want to just love you as a friend).

“Pablo…”.

“Or should I just say it in Spanish so nothing gets lost in translation?”

“Do you mean it?”, you asked, full of hope.

“I do”.

Seeing you’re reaction gave him the final push to get closer to you. He held your face with his hands and spoke quietly.

“You’re the best friend I could ask for. And a pretty good teacher too. But I want more. Do you want more?”

“More Gavi?”

You both laughed and then you kept leaning forward until your lips finally connected. Finally showing each other how much you really wanted this. And kisses had no language. Everyone could understand what they meant.

[powdermelonkeg]

Out of curiosity, why Gale/Taliesin? I'd have thought you'd match Astarion with Taliesin and maybe Lucien or Remiel with Gale. Not to say I dislike the ship, I can see the potential, but I'm curious where it came from.

Funny answer:

"I have a cat, a library, and a weakness for a good glass of wine. And if the mood takes me, I'm known to try my hand at poetry."

Divines, ask him to dinner before you make a proposal, Gale! Have some decorum!

Serious answer:

So, I do get the impulse to match like with like. Astarion and Taliesin have a LOT in common; roguelike qualities and smooth, self-assured charm, an affinity for knife tricks, sass and drama, some good vanity. Same with Gale and Lucien (can't say anything for Remiel, haven't had a chance to do a proper playthrough with her yet).

But camaraderie and shared personality traits don't necessarily mean they'd compliment each other in a romantic sense.

Let's start with Lucien. He's the youngest of the group, younger even than Wyll (iirc, Joseph said he was 21? He might be a couple years older, but regardless, Wyll is 24). Bubbly, bright, full of enthusiasm and scholarly wit, with a penchant for jokes and a drive for exploration.

Can Lucien talk Gale out of blowing himself up for Mystra?

Would he, Mr. I'm-going-to-ride-a-daedric-horse, my-new-best-friend-is-a-murderous-automaton, discourage Professor Hubris from claiming the Crown of Karsus?

I think Lucien would be concerned for Gale. I think he would know the right option. But I don't think he has the finesse to navigate the tangled weave (heh) that makes up Gale. Lucien is naive, he's sweet, he's willing to accommodate, to the point that I don't think he could tell Gale "no" when it mattered most.

Would they get along? Absolutely! Lucien could teach Gale how to handle magicka, Gale could teach Lucien how to conduct the Weave. Both of them could have lengthy philosophical debates that go over everyone else's heads. Gale would have enough caution to temper Lucien's dwemerology enthusiasm, Lucien would encourage all kinds of discovery into Tamriel's wonders. But I see that manifesting as a mentor-apprentice sort of relationship. Still very close, but having them depend on each other in the way Gale approaches romance would be...self-destructive, I think.

Taliesin and Astarion are a similar, if slightly more dark-tinted, deal. Tally's just gotten out of an organization of horrible, horrible people, whose actions in which he was complicit. He's trying to be better. Astarion has just left a situation of literal slavery to one of the most awful people on the Sword Coast. He's enjoying the chance to be worse. We know how Astarion feels and his opinions on things; he likes hurting people, he's very self-centered, he has a lot to work on himself across his entire character arc as he comes into his freedom.

Personally, I think they'd make each other worse.

That's not to say that I can't see it happening. I could, definitely. It would take a good chunk of meeting in the middle, tiptoeing around each other's baskets that they're struggling to unpack, Tally's aversion to vampires, Astarion's casual cruelty as he lashes out. My personal opinion is that any getting involved would be via Astarion's seduce-and-fling strategy so he gets that foot in the door for Tally's sympathy, and Tally not ever taking it further because Astarion reminds him too much of his fellow justiciars and never assumed it to be more than transactional.

If they DID somehow make it to the endgame, assuming they did everything right, I can see it all falling apart at Cazador.

Tally would probably object to Astarion becoming the Ascendant. Everything in Astarion's life points to ascension being a dangerous thing--if not for continuing Cazador's reign of terror, in subjecting mortals to his will and viewing them all as beneath him, because Astarion's cruel streak would get all the power to fuel every whim it draws up. That kind of dynamic, on a romantic plane especially, is SCARY. If he fails to persuade him but still refuses to help, Astarion leaves him: "I hope you die screaming."

But say Tally DID let him become Ascendant. Whoever the man he fell in love with before ascending is dead. Astarion is a wholly different person with that much power. And he wants to make you his spawn. I can't see Tally willingly becoming a vampire, and I DEFINITELY can't see him becoming a vampire without free will. His whole deal with leaving the Thalmor is getting his autonomy back and being able to make his own decisions. So they leave each other.

I see Tally/Astarion ending in abject tragedy either way. An entertaining story, definitely, but one that brings out the worst in both parties until its inevitable spiral, if it even takes off the ground.

Hence, why Wyll is with Astarion in my plans. He'd bring out the good in Astarion, Astarion would crack the self-sacrificing shell Wyll has. They'd compensate for each other's flaws and compliment each other's strengths. I could write an entire essay about their potential dynamic, not to mention all the flirty lines between them in-game.

Would Tally and Astarion be friends? Absolutely. They share gossip and snark around the campfire. Would Tally help Astarion absolutely gut Cazador? Would Astarion offer to carve out Tally's dad's throat? Definitely. The two are inseparable, and would kill anyone who dared raise a finger against the other. They'd mull over their shared plights of terrible overlords and being used and abused. They'd push each other's buttons and be petty together until it was time to buckle down and win a fight, then celebrate after. But a romance would require so much compromise on one side or the other that I think they both risk falling to pieces over it. There's much more room for differences in lifestyle if you're not planning to spend your life with someone and pour the whole of your heart out to them.

Now, the crux of the question: Gale/Taliesin.

The way Gale shows love is in unwavering devotion. However, he never expects it in return; he's prepared to make his case many times over when he first asks you for an artifact, and half-expects you to throw him away when he reveals the bomb in his chest.

Taliesin is willing to follow his rescuer to the ends of Nirn if you save him. Even into dwemer ruins that terrify him, even if you (to his knowledge) go as mad as Septimus when you read the Elder Scroll, he's prepared to look out for you. Even when it's your destiny to fight the end of the world and be surrounded by death as you do it, with a high probability that he'd be a casualty.

Gale's fatal flaw is his hubris. Tally would have no problems telling him "no" when the Crown came into play, or any other similar power for that matter.

If you talk to Taliesin about his past, he mentions that at one point, his father made him resent many aspects of himself, "even [his] own body."

Gale is willing to marry a MIND FLAYER if they're the person he's come to love. Completely seriously! He loves them! He doesn't even flinch, he even pays them mind flayer-specific compliments in the epilogue and means it with his whole heart!

Would Tally be willing to hang out with the walking apocalypse? Would he be able to talk down detonating the orb, and beg Gale to choose him over the Absolute's demise? Would he be able to tell Gale that going for the Crown of Karsus is a bad idea? Would he be willing to put his enchanting skills to use to buy Gale a few more days of life? Would he like Gale for the man he is over the magic he commands?

Would Gale be able to commit himself to Tally, regardless of how different Altmer are from Eladrin? Would he appreciate every part of Tally, no matter how he differs from conventional Altmer standards? Would he be willing to stand between Tally and his dad, and do it without shattering the rest of Tally's family (as murder threats would)? Would he appreciate Tally for the mer he is, the mer he's TRYING to be, as Tally leaves the Thalmor behind?

They both share a taste in books, both educational and spicy. They both like cooking, and Gale would be willing to cook up vegetarian meals in a snap. They both have a curiosity for culture and knowledge they have yet to encounter. They both love cats and a good bottle of wine.

The clone spell would let Gale match Tally's lifespan.

Tally would love and pay perfect respects to Tara (as everyone SHOULD).

Misty Step could be a solution to crossing bodies of water, and Ice Spike could be an upgrade to Ray of Frost.

Imagine, after several tendays of roughing it, a perfect illusion of a fancy date on a warm shoreline under the stars.

Imagine the two of them reading together by a warm hearth while it pours outside, wearing silk robes and sipping Alto Wine.

I think they'd bring out the best in each other, they'd enjoy each other's company and each other's idea of relaxation, and they'd share enough interests that they'd be happy to trade back and forth.

Also I think Gale's mother would absolutely love him. She HAS to meet him. And spoil him. He'd join her and Tara for tea and gossip, I guarantee it.

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME. last night we watched voy's "waking moments" and ds9's "waltz" (omg waltz).

waking moments (voy):

i was afraid this one would be bad but it was good! -something i say about voyager a lot lately.

naked tuvok was extremely funny especially when they kept teasing him about it. he's like "vulcans dont experience embarrassment may we please change the subject as quickly as possible"

my villain origin story is when inception came out and claimed to be about lucid dreaming i, who was at the time obsessed with lucid dreaming and attempting to teach myself to do it, flipped my lid because absolutely none of it was even remotely accurate to like, actual dream science. (in the very first act, someone READS, which like...you can't read in dreams or at the very least not in the same way you do as in reality. i spent the whole movie fuming and took something very different from it than the shipping girlies did)

anyway, this healed me, because while i WAS annoyed that tom paris was like yeah one time with no training whatsoever i had a lucid dream (not impossible but man come on), he did quickly and accurately explain what they ACTUALLY were

this is also a piece of media that made me very afraid of the moon. just like majora's mask

like, the plot twist when he thought he was awake but was still dreaming...damn...they got us...and then they did it AGAIN. those magnificent bastards, etc

like, not only is that a very successful and smart bit of writing to be able to do the same twist twice, it had me guessing for the rest of the episode at what might be real and what might be fake. they could never do this, but chakotay seeing the moon again in the final shot would have been great

speaking of chakotay, can we please stop saying "vision quest" on this television show. that's two episodes in a row. he can just lucid dream like anybody. don't worry about it. you don't have to make a special racist lucid dreaming ritual

waltz (ds9):

OMG WALTZ...............................

dukat is crazy. off his fucking rocker. it's so good and so layered and it's the perfect way to illustrate that like. the ramifications of colonization and occupation on EVERYBODY involved without forgiving him for what he did and what was his personal responsibility to stand up against and like. how "good" people who do nothing are in so many ways worse than evildoers and become evil in a system that turns them into evil people because if you're not against the oppressors you're literally with them

like, dukat shows up to bajor and he is just Some Guy. shaped by the values of his culture (ie that their race is superior and colonization is the cool hip thing to do) yeah but he's just a dude. he's never really had to look at it up close until now. so he looks around at the labor camps and the executions and he goes yikes this makes me squeamish! hey guys what if we were super nice to the bajorans. and then less bajorans died and they were like Great this enables us to fight back better! let's do some terrorism! and he was like wait what why are you fighting back. you're supposed to love me because i said we should kill less of you. like i need you tell me it's all okay now and i fixed it and he absolutely SNAPPED when they would not do that

like he's crazy now but i think this is just the final result of like. he looked around at what was happening and he could not deal with the fact that he was participating in it. he needed someone anyone to tell him he was good and kind and loved and would never do such bad horrible things unless he was FORCED to and when no one told him that he just told himself that and it became the truth. because either someone forced him to do this or it's his fault and he is a bad and evil person

he begged sisko ALL. EPISODE. to tell him he wasn't evil. he just wants one single person to tell him he's not a bad person. that he wasn't a bad person when he raped leeta, or (in all probability) ziyal's mother. that he wasn't a bad person when he sentenced innocents to torture and execution and that he wasn't a bad person for overseeing the slave labor that BUILT THIS FUCKING STATION

and no one will tell him! his own daughter wouldn't tell him! ziyal got FUCKING SHOT because he's so evil his OWN DAUGHTER could not stomach what he's done. HIS OWN DAUGHTER. and he's so evil that he's not even grieving for her! he's grieving for the loss of the one person he had managed to trick into thinking he WASN'T evil! when sisko took him into prison and he handed back that baseball he was full of forgiveness because he wants just ONE PERSON to forgive him (even kira said this in a previous episode) and like NO ONE CAN. his own daughter can't!

and then hes like. well they MADE ME do this. the bajorans MADE ME punish them because they wouldn't worship me for being SLIGHTLY less awful than the other people occupying their planet and forcing them into labor camps. but I'M less awful everybody should LIKE me everybody should FORGIVE me but they MADE me execute them by the hundreds and rape and torture them they MADE me do that!

AND HE'S NOT EVEN GETTING MAD AT THE RIGHT PEOPLE. you could justify anger at the cardassian government even if that still does not let you off the hook morally for helping that government commit atrocities but he CAN'T. because his identity and his idea of acceptance is so tied up in that society he CANNOT believe it's the problem because it's too much like believing HE is the problem and he CANNOT be the problem because HE'S good and moral and soooo nice to bajorans! he was even "in love" (blech) with the bajoran who became ziyal's mom! he loves bajorans so much he called leeta into his office just to be better friends with one and definitely not abuse her at all!

and the end result is you take this mostly normal guy who is not a good person by any means but is also vaguely squeamish about war crimes happening right in front of him. and you put this guy who wants really badly to be liked in this position of immense power where he is doomed to be hated. and what that does is turn him into the screaming maniac we got in this episode saying he should have killed every bajoran man woman and child who ever lived. colonization ALSO HURT HIM, irreparably. like we're also doing a fantastic at job at illustrating the evils of colonization - just the entire concept of it is so systemically rancid that it is hurting and making worse literally every single person involved, because the people upholding it and participating in it, like dukat, can never ever be forgiven for that crime

AND HE SHOULDN'T BE. this is so crucial: there is NO sympathy. sure he is suffering but he made his own bed of nails he dug his own fucking grave and he DESERVES TO SUFFER there is no fucking m*rvel let's meow meow this guy bs. this is not l*ki this is not w*rd this is a fucking killer. this is a guy who sisko hits on the head with a pipe and says AND THAT IS WHY YOU'RE NOT EVIL??? we joke about speaking truth to power but jesus fucking christ sisko shouted it at power from the ground with a broken fucking arm and a phaser pointed at his head

it's just such a good job at making such a complex fucking villain without him needing a redemption or a sad little wet cat phase. it's so refreshing. sisko literally said damn sometimes i forget people really are evil but there it is. i hit evil on the head with a pipe and told him to get fucked

and by the way.......the fact that avery brooks did do little outside of ds9 is a fucking crime because good lord that man can ACT. the fact that he didn't win that vintage hot guy scifi poll is fucking unforgivable. not only is he hot but he is out-acting everybody else on that show by MILES except for perhaps nana visitor whomst he is only out-acting for like maybe one mile. he's running fucking circles around them. he should have been an a-lister. sisko is so cool and badass and sexy and i had never even HEARD of him until i was like halfway through tng. again i say: unforgiveable!!!!!

LIKE. HE FEARS NO EVIL BECAUSE HE IS THE EVILLEST MOTHERFUCKER IN THE VALLEY. YES HE IS. HE HITS EVIL ON THE HEAD WITH A PIPE. HE TELLS EVIL YOU'RE A BAD PERSON AND YOU DESERVE THE SUFFERING. god. god!!!!!!!!

okay. i'm calm. i'm normal. ds9 GOOD.

TONIGHT: voy's "message in a bottle" and ds9's "who mourns for morn?" rip morn :(

[hlficlibrary]

Do you know fics similar to You Watched Me Sink by

bananasandboots

(but they don’t necessarily have to be teachers)

Hi, anon...so here is the fic you like...

You Watched Me Sink by bananasandboots

They've discussed it a few times - the boyfriend thing. It's not like it's some forbidden, horrific, abandon hope all ye who talk about furthering the relationship sort of subject. They're mature adults. They're in tune with their feelings, their hearts' desires, the way those butterflies swoop in their bellies whenever they so much as hold each other's hands. They like each other. A lot. It's mutual, they know. But for now, they're just content to enjoy the simplicity of what they have, and what they have is great.

When dating in secret stops being enough, then they'll discuss that too.

Or, the one where Harry teaches Sex Ed and sneaks around with the drama teacher, and doesn't realize how out of tune he is with his true feelings until everyone else figures it out for him.

And here are some more secret relationship fics for you...

A Small Matter (A Matter of Trust) by @kingsofeverything

Harry knows he and his Grindr hookup would be perfect together, if only he could convince him to give a relationship a chance.

Or Harry has a thing for jockstraps and Louis likes to wear them.

Hands Clasped Tight by @afirethatcannotdie

“What am I looking at here?” Harry asks.

“This, my friends, is a ‘proof’ Instagram account, run by your students,” Liam announces.

“It’s got all this stuff about how the two of you are together,” Niall adds.

“I heard about that,” says one of the math teachers. “Confiscated a kid’s phone today when they were looking at it. I have to say, the evidence that you’re dating is pretty damning.”

“Really,” Louis says dryly. “Do you think being married for three years might have something to do with it?”

Or the one where Harry and Louis are high school teachers and their students have been playing matchmaker for over a year. Little do they know, Harry and Louis are already married.

Snow In Love by @lululawrence

Harry and Louis are best friends and have been for basically as long as they can remember. For the first time since middle school, they are both single for the holidays leaving them with the brilliant idea to take each other as their dates to work events. To make things easier they will pretend like they’re dating. But then they learn something funny.

People thought they were already dating. Weird.

An advent fic featuring childhood friends, fake dating turned actual dating, really horrible secret keeping, and a winter weather surprise.

[brokebonewritings]

Professor?

Jake Lockley x Reader

Warnings/Tags: 18+, Smut, Language

Summary: Office hours were for questions, and going over materials. Maybe too many questions can lead to an assignment not in the syllabus.

Word Count: 2K

Navigation || Masterlist

“Does anyone have any more questions?” The room was silent. Everyone stared blankly at the professor in front of them.

“Then I guess we are done for today.” Before he could finish the sentence, students (Including yourself) began to pack up and leave. “Don’t forget about chapters 20 and 23. Read them. I won’t forget.”

The professor wasn’t an old man, he certainly didn’t look like it. You always thought he reminded you of Indiana Jones. Of course the only reason you took the class was one: You needed the Social Science credit, and two: he was extremely handsome.

As you slowly approached his desk, you could see he was typing out notes on his laptop.

“Of course, you’re still here” He doesn’t even look up from the computer. “Let me guess, you need to ask a question? Go over the reading?”

“I just wanted to discuss a part of the lesson, Dr. Spector” You reply, it wasn’t a lie, but you always just wanted to talk to him too.

“You know how rare it is that I see students so interested in this topic?” He finally looked up, resting his chin on his hands. “It shows you have talent for the subject. And your work is not bad either. I see the way you take notes, it’s good.”

He sighs loudly, and you smile at him sweetly. It wasn’t the best compliment but it wasn’t a bad one either.

“Do you have any questions, y/n?” He pulls you from your thoughts.

“Are you married?” You bite your lip after realizing what you had just said. He stares at you for a brief moment.

“That’s… an extremely personal question.” He quips “No. I’m not married, or in a relationship, or anything of the sorts.”

You both stand there speechless. He crosses his arms and you play with the hem of your skirt. You cannot believe you just asked a professor this question.

“Why? What makes you think it’s okay to ask someone like me that?” He asks.

“I guess I was just curious?” You quickly reply.

“Ah.. just curious?” He scoffs. “Of course.”

“What?” Was this guy serious right now?

“Oh nothing. It’s just funny. Smart and funny, huh? Your boyfriend must be thrilled.” He chuckles, and then the room goes silent again.

You don’t know why you don’t just leave after that. Obviously this was a horrible interaction, but you feel compelled to stay. Not that the conversation is benefiting anyone or anything other than your tiny crush.

“So let me ask you this, when I’m teaching this material and everyone is staring blankly at the wall, or taking notes.. What are you paying attention to?” He smirks. He knows the real answer.

“I- I don’t know” You stammer. Playing dumb. Nice. Like he couldn’t read you a mile away.

“Oh, of course… You don’t know.” He tuts you for a moment. “Why do you look so flustered? It was just a question. I know you’re smart enough to answer.”

“I was paying attention to you…” You finally reply, there’s no use to trying to run away now. He makes his way around the desk, and you notice the smell of his cologne immediately.

It was rich and dark. You notice the scruff on his chin, just light scruff though. He leans in close to you and begins to whisper.

“What about you? Your boyfriend must not notice anything right?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” You reply

“Really?” You shake your head in response. 

“I find that very hard to believe. You seem like the type to be married by now. Professionally speaking, of course”

You notice he is staring at you as he takes a step back. The rose tint that is creeping up your neck makes him chuckle.

“Cat got your tongue, professor?” You speak suddenly and he smiles.

“Of course not, I was just thinking… about this interaction.” He replies. “I think you’re very stunning… and I think you can return these… feelings.” 

“Then what is this?” You ask and swallow hard.

He stalks closer again.

“Well… My office hours are starting, and nobody is here…” He takes a deep breath inhaling your scent.

“And can anybody see.. Through that window?” You question once more.

“No… no. Nobody can see through that window.” He says as you close the gap between the both of you.

His lips were soft against yours, but his fingers that were sliding down your waist were tense. Neither of you anticipated doing any of this today. Maybe once you had passed the class? But that thought was pushed to the back of your mind.

The kisses were demanding, as the both of you moaned against each other. Once you pulled away, you both sat for a moment to catch your breath.

“I can’t stop myself from kissing you, y/n” He huffed. He pulls away for a moment to gather his laptop and bag, and you notice his eyes grew darker.

“Follow me.” He states as he begins to walk to his office. You follow closely behind him looking around to notice that the hallways were completely empty. Once you both stepped inside, he instructed you to close the door and lock it.

Once you turn around, you notice his jacket has come off and his sleeves were rolled up. You stare at his bicep getting lost in the thought of those being wrapped around your waist.

“Take it off.” His gruff voice catches you off guard. “Come, amore, take it off for me”

The slight accent was new but not enough for you to question if he had always had one. You begin to strip your shirt, taking each button off, one by one. Hearing his moans as he watched you completely strip yourself really set you off. You see him sit in his chair as he continues to watch you.

“Fuck” He says quietly. “Come here and sit down in my lap, princesa”

You obey and step closer to him. Facing him, you straddle his lap as he guides your chin closely to kiss you. The way he kisses and moans into your mouth turns you on instantly. You feel the wetness in your panties beginning to spread as he grips your back and brings you closer.

He quickly pushes you away, making you come off his lap.

“Bend over the desk. I have to taste you, right now.” He demands, you nod and lean yourself over the desk.

Grabbing your hips harshly, he slowly grinds against you almost to tease how hard he had become in such a short time. You hardly notice when he kneels down and rips your panties off. Not that you would need them much longer.

Feeling the hot breath against your core, you whine from the lack of contact. However you do hear the quiet praises you are receiving.

“Fuck, you’re so wet for me. Your pussy is dripping.” He says. “You want my tongue on your clit, princesa?”

You whine loudly in response.

“Yeah? Say please, amore” He tuts. “Come on, I know you know how to say please.”

“Please, sir. Please” 

“Fuck, I’m gonna make you cum so hard. All. over. my. desk.” He groans, as he begins to kiss your thighs. Making his way all the way up, teasing you with each kiss.

The sensation made you shake, never in your life had you experienced something like this. The praises you’re receiving and the pet names. Waves came crashing through you mid thought when you felt his hot tongue slide along your clit.

You moan loudly as he continues to suck and lick your soaking pussy. Hearing his moans continuously makes you more wet. 

As you are about to cum, he pulls away. You whine at the loss of contact and warmth. He stands up behind you and grabs your ass suddenly. You moan as he spanks it, the loud smack of his hand against your skin is deafening.

“Such a good girl for me, huh?” Another smack. “Fuck. Arch your back, princesa.”

Of course you do as you're told. Presenting yourself for your professor like you have daydreamed about. You hear his belt come undone and the sound of him taking out his cock. Glancing back, you see how massive he is. He notices you swallowing hard, and he scoffs.

“You want my cock in your pussy, amore?” He asks, rubbing it slowly. “Let me give you a little tease, huh?”

Without warning, he places his cock between your thighs and slowly rubs it against your clit. You both moan loudly at the sensation.

“Say please.” He groans. “Beg princessa, Beg for my cock.”

“Please, I need you in my pussy. Pleaaase.” You moan

“Good girl, My good pretty girl.” He draws out. “Reach your hand down, amore, reach your hand down and push my cock into you.”

Taking your hand, you reach between your thighs and graze your fingers against his member before pushing his head into you. He moans and throws his head back as he slowly begins to push into you. The groans and sharp inhales make you push against him as he bottoms out.

“Aye dios mio, amore, te sientes muy bien.” He groans and he begins to pump himself in and out of you. “Fuck, So tight.”

He begins to speed up and you can feel your legs shaking against the desk. You focus on gripping the table as you continue to arch your back. His pace was brutal but it felt so good. Noticing the way his cock pulses inside of you, you remember the lack of protection there was between the both of you.

You moan loudly at that thought when he suddenly stops.

“Flip over.” He demands. “Flip over and sit up a little. I wanna watch you.”

Again, you obey his orders, and turn yourself around. You wrap your arms around his neck and slowly lean in to kiss him. He moans against your lips as he begins to fuck you again. As he moves against you, you push back and your pussy clenches earning a grown from the man.

You can feel him start to stutter as his orgasm approaches. The exhales from his lungs were forceful with pleasure. Your swollen clit was beginning to overstimulate from the pressure being pushed against it.

“Professor Spector, I can’t take it much longer.” You groan and he growls. 

“Oh amore, I’m about to come. I’m about to come inside you.” He continues to push into you. “Want that? Want my cum inside you?” 

“Ah, Ah, Yes, Come inside me.” Your eyes are half lidded, and it’s getting harder to keep them open. Suddenly his hand grabs your cheeks and squeezes.

“Look at me while you come. Look at me, now” You open your eyes and see his face for the first time. He has such beautiful hard features. Seeing his eyebrows furrow and focus on you gives you your release. In an instant the both of you are coming.

You both sit there a moment to catch your breath. When you both realize the seriousness of what just happened, you laugh.

“Look at that amore, my cock is still so deep inside.” You moan as he pushes a little before taking out his cock. “Oh, all that cum going to waste. Let me help with that.”

His long fingers scoop the cum dripping onto the desk and pushes it right back into your pulsing pussy. You moan loudly as you hear the obscene squelching of his fingers inside you.

“You like that? Being full of my cum? My thick fingers pushing it back in where it belongs?” He moans, and pumps his fingers in and out, bending to find your gspot. His thumb rubbing against your clit, as an orgasim begins to build up again.

Your loud moans could probably be heard throughout the halls. Not that anyone was listening. The pit in your stomach was slowly filling with pleasure once again, and it wasn’t long before you began to pulse and squirt cum onto his hand.

“That’s right princesa, let it all out. Don’t be shy.” He praises as you catch your breath.

“Professor?” You question.

“Hm?”

“Can I get extra credit on this assignment?” You smirk. And his face goes blank.

“How about we clean you up, and then we can talk about some extra credit.”

[wilsons-striped-ties]

december tc challenge (days 1-31 oneshot)

by @lustingtc

Day 1: Introduce them. Give a description.

passion fruit, history teacher. he's scary looking, total softie sweetheart on the inside, goofy classes and probably the BEST teacher in my high school. or like who ever existed. fight me.

Day 2: When did your TC start teaching you?

2022-2023, year three and four

Day 3: What is your TC’s favorite outfit?

he always wears the same dress shirts so i have no idea HAHA

Day 4: Do you know when your TC’s b-day is? Age?

7th july, not sure how old he is

Day 5: Song that reminds you of your TC

secret love song?

Day 6: Do they play/coach any sports?

he plays soccer and absolutely loves it

Day 7: Do they drink coffee?

he's a total coffee addict, takes it 100% black which is a total opposite of his soul <3

Day 8: What’s their relationship status?

married with three kids sigh

Day 9: What’s one word that describes your TC? Why?

interesting. because his personality is interesting, everytime i unlock more of his lore it just gets more interesting and his lessons are never boring, always interesting hehe

Day 10: Do they have any pets?

don't think so

Day 11: What kind of car does your TV drive?

i think it's a dark grey mazda

Day 12: Does your TC have kids?

three

Day 13: Favorite thing about your TC’s personality?

he's just such a total sweetheart oh goodness

Day 14: What subject(s) does your TC teach?

history, used to teach english too

Day 15: Does your TC have neat or messy handwritting?

readable but that's because i can read horrible handwriting. it isn't the messiest but it is rather messy HAHHA

Day 16: Does your TC curse?

never heard him curse before but i know it would sound so hot if he does

Day 17: Does your TC have siblings? If so, how many?

i don't know, he doesn't feel like an only child though

Day 18: What’s the worst thing about having a TC?

the delusions and the fact that we can never be together

Day 19: Best thing?

the delusions and the academic validation and the parental issues being satisfied

Day 20: What color are your TC’s eyes?

the prettiest brown oh goodness me

Day 21: Will you tell your TC your feelings?

probably not

Day 22: Does your TC have social media? Which ones?

facebook and instagram

Day 23: Do you and your TC have any inside jokes or something you do together?

ya every time i take a photo with him he now calls it customary HAHA

Day 24: Are you their favorite student?

the only time he brought up this topic was very likely to have been a poke at me when he said his favorite student was another girl who always ditched class but i smiled and went along with it because i knew he was bluffing HAHAHHA that was very early this year so we hadn't gotten as close yet, but still pretty close already

Day 25: Is your TC calm and restrained or expressive?

rather calm and restrained, but when passionate he's expressive

Day 26: Is their personality similar or different to yours?

somewhat similar but also vastly different

Day 27: Funny moment that occurred between you and your TC

i think maybe when he said to the class that he'll make me mark the entire stack of worksheets and at the end of the lesson when i seriously asked him if i was going to mark he looked so stunned and said no and took it back and i looked so sad

Day 28: If you could tell your TC your feelings with no consequences, would you? Why or why not?

MAYBE. but maybe not. no consequences as in our relationship wouldn't be torn? then yes. if not then nah.

Day 29: Do you think your TC knows about your crush?

hmm not really, i think he knows i favour him but i doubt so

Day 30: Do you get jealous seeing your TC with other students?

not really?

Day 31: Have you ever cried in front of your TC? If so, what happened?

nopee

[rachelbethhines]

60 Years of Doctor Who Anniversary Marathon - McCoy 10th Review

Bernice Summerfield: Oh No It Isn't! - Spin-off

Part of what makes Bernice Summerfield such a long running success is that her series can function as a standalone thing rather than just a spin-off.

When Virgin Publishing lost the rights to Doctor Who back in 1996, they dug Benny (a character they had created for the New Adventures novels) out of the closet and designed a new series around her with no ties to Doctor Who what so ever.

That's not to say that they erased the character's past, she's still a companion and technically the series still takes place in the world of Who, but no mentions of the Doctor nor any other BBC owned character appear or are even named dropped.

So basically you can pick up this first novel, like I did, without ever having touched any of the NAs, or even without having seen an episode of Who in your life.

Because, besides Benny herself, the only other thing that can be associated with Who is Menlove Stokes from that Fourth Doctor book we covered, The Romance of Crime. And there's no references to that story here either.

But what about the actual book? Is it any good?

Ehhhh....

I want to like it. I really do.

I love the premise. Getting caught in a augmented reality based off fairy tales!? Yes please!

Also most the characters are likable enough, even with such a large cast.

But there's one thing that really drags the whole book down.

It's the subplot between Benny and one of her students.

Through out the story Benny keeps debating about whether or not she should pursue a romance with one of the college kids that she teaches... and it's just gross.

Granted, she never goes through with it, and the narrative repeatedly points out why it's toxic, but like... why the fuck would introduce your main hero with a such a subplot anyways?

I mean if you're going to tell such a story then actually tell it. Make it the focus and draw some real drama from it. Don't shove it into the background of a completely different narrative after introducing it.

The end result is just uncomfortable and distracting. The darker subject matter clashes horribly with the surreal comedy romp that the rest if the story wants to be, and so it never feels fully resolved.

In addition it winds up undoing any hard work the book made to present it's hero as relatable and likable.

I mean, my gosh, plenty of women get a divorce without turning into pedos... seriously what the fuck?

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the character is in college and would technically be considered 'legal', but he's still described as a teenager several times through out the book and she's in her mid to late 30s.

Also.. She's His Damn Teacher!

However, whenever this unpleasantness is shoved aside for the actual story, it's pretty dang good.

It's charming, funny, and fun!

Even if you're not familiar with British Panto you can still follow along with the tropes easily enough as they're mostly still rooted in fairy tales and musical theater.

It's certainly more digestible then most Virgin fare, I'll give it that, but it's still not enough to make me a Benny fan, sorry.

[orphanheirs]

Oc Questionniare/Interview

I was tagged to do this by @borisyvain and @drchenquill! Thanks for including me! I'll have Tristan answer these...as with the other questionnaire I did, the responses may not be truthful, but they are the answers he'd give.

Are you named after anyone?

I am named after Sir Tristan, a knight of King Arthur's court. He died for love, slain by the lance of an enchantress whilst he was playing the harp. Quite romantic, really.

When was the last time you cried?

What sort of a question is that? If you must know, I haven't the slightest idea. I do not weep anymore, like some child. [Author's note: methinks thou dost protest too much...]

Do you have kids?

I..do not have..goats. Oh, you mean children? ...me? Do I have children? Me?

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

[sarcastically:] Oh no, that is a base vulgarity I could never indulge in, and by the by, to answer your last question properly, I have been very busy indeed producing children. I started seducing women with alarming speed aged five. In the seven years since I have produced quite the brood.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I suppose I notice a person's bearing, and their dress. One can determine much from merely observing these things. Most people are quite easy to take measure of, being largely dull and stupid.

What’s your eye colour?

Blue.

Scary movies or happy endings?

"Movies"? ..well, at any rate, happy endings are intolerably dull, do not you think? I much prefer it when something dreadful happens. Like an arrow through the heart, or poison taken by lovers, or dying of a broken heart, or dying of fright after seeing a phantom, or being thrown in a dungeon to rot for the rest of one's days, or being buried alive, or murdered by a band of highwaymen, or beheaded, or hanged after being falsely accused of a shameful crime, or being doomed by the fulfillment of a horrible omen, or falling through a trap door onto some rusted spikes, or jumping off a cliff onto sharp rocks below...

Any special talents?

Well, I am uncommonly accomplished in the art of sorcery: though I am a novice in the practice and have had no master to teach me black magic, I have managed to do what many adepts have failed at. Thus I cannot help but think myself a natural conjurer. I am also quite good at dancing.

Where were you born?

In my parents' house.

Do you have any pets?

No. I was not permi--no. Anyway, I am far too busy to look after some vexatious creature.

What sort of sports do you play?

Why should I concern myself with a trifling thing like sport? There are far more diverting amusements.

How tall are you?

Five foot.

What was your favorite subject in school?

I never went to a school. You see, my Mind and Intellect required a more refined course of education, supplied by masters who administered lessons to me at my parents' house. But I suppose my favorite subject was French. It is such a romantic language. And the study of the classics, I dare say, although I did much of my reading on my own, and was much improved by it. By industrious reading I instructed myself in magic, which led me to my present course in life!

What is your dream job?

You are funny. An occupation one takes up in one's dreams? ...I suppose I once had a dream in which I was the captain of a great sailing vessel on a desolate, stormy sea. The ship collided with dark cliffs and sank, but at the bottom of the sea was a society of underwater people who placed me in a glass castle, where I was imprisoned, but could look out. I was glad to be alive but rather bored. One day I asked somebody how long I had been prisoner there. They told me two hundred and fourteen years. I decided that was long enough and escaped to the surface, but once I did so all of time hit me at once and I turned into a pile of sand which was immediately washed away with the sea foam.

Hmmm I'll tag @ceph-the-ghost-writer, @hagscribes, and @words-after-midnight!

[minubell]

I am super busy this week with exams, but I feel bad not having a weekly fic. So here's a baby one, short and sweet and funny, based on a conversation with @ttrtru like... gosh a year ago now or something like that.

Angmar's Guide to Swimming

“I’ll kill you.”

“Hmm.”

“I’ll kill you,” Khamul repeats venomously, fingers digging into the rock. His hand curls around one that fits nicely in the palm of his hand, and for an instant Khamul entertains the idea of bashing Angmar’s idiotic skull in with it. “I’ll smother you in your sleep and then throw your body into the volcano so no one can ever find it.”

“You just sank,” Angmar grumbles as he stares down at him, and if there is disbelief coloring his tone he certainly has not earned it. Angmar is not the one who should be shocked about what has just occurred.

Surely their lord would not miss Angmar that much. He clearly is not worth all of the strife and torment he subjects Khamul to on a regular basis.

“Like a stone,” Angmar continues, ignorant to Khamul’s murderous thoughts. “How is that possible?”

“I cannot swim, Angmar,” Khamul spits, literally spits because he had choked on enough water trying to claw his way out of the lake that he still feels like he is drowning. Something in his chest spasms, and Khamul leans forward and coughs up a frankly disgusting amount of water onto the rocks, shoulders shaking as he tries to unflood his lungs. His vision blurs and his eyes sting with what might be tears, but they are tears of anger and pure rage.

Angmar nods, and his nose is beginning to look more and more like the center of a target for the rock still tightly grasped in Khamul’s fist. “Yes, you told me such before-“

“-before you threw me in a lake!” Khamul screeches, immediately descending into another coughing fit. His hair is an absolute mess, his clothes are soaked, and somehow he had lost a shoe to the murky water. How that is possible he does not know, but Khamul does know he shall not be attempting to get it back. He can get another shoe. No piece of clothing is worth braving the water again.

“You were supposed to swim,” Angmar huffs, as if that explains anything at all. He does not elaborate further, because of course he does not. Angmar speaks hardly any words at all and simply expects everyone else to lunge to the same conclusions that he does.

Khamul takes a deep breath, then pitches the rock as hard as he can directly at Angmar’s stupid forehead. It ricochets off fantastically, soaring over Khamul’s head and landing in the lake behind him with a soft plop.

Angmar has the nerve to look offended, hands flying up to touch the rapidly growing red circle on his forehead.

“What was that for?!” Angmar roars.

“You threw me in a lake!” Khamul snaps back. These coughs are very quickly going to turn into him vomiting, but if that is to be his fate he is going to do it all over Angmar’s shoes. He staggers to his feet and throws his hair back so it is no longer in his face. His hands curl into tight fists at his sides, nails digging tightly into his palms. Angmar may still stand almost a full head taller than him, but Khamul is feeling positively feral at the moment and the height difference is not doing much to sway him away from a fight. “I almost drowned! What did you expect, for me to be grateful? What is wrong with you?”

“You were supposed to learn to swim!” Angmar growls, and Khamul swings a fist at his nose. Clearly not caught off guard a second time, Angmar catches the clumsy attack in an open palm and yanks, dragging Khamul unexpectedly forwards by the hand. He stumbles on the rocks and falls back to his knees, Angmar unexpectedly skittering away rather than trying to fight him. Khamul should frankly feel offended. When has Angmar ever backed away from a brawl? “It is not as if it is difficult!”

“You must be a horrid teacher then,” Khamul coughs. Which is true, if Angmar’s version of teaching involves no explanation and simply tossing someone into a lake. "To fail so horribly to teach me something that is apparently easy!" That gives Angmar pause. Enough pause that Khamul is able to sit down on the rocks with a sigh and attempt to wring the water out of his hair during the ensuing silence.

“…Perhaps you were just too surprised the first time,” Angmar murmurs thoughtfully after several moments pass, and Khamul does not appreciate the way Angmar is looking down at him or the way Angmar's fingers twitch.

“Angmar,” Khamul warns.

“You are very smart,” Angmar continues, and it does not sound like a compliment. He takes a step forward, back towards Khamul, and Khamul does not care for that at all. He scrambles to his feet quickly and takes a step backwards, except that only serves to put him closer to the lake. He quickly skitters to the side instead, trying not to put himself any closer to his own death.

“No, Angmar. I am being serious, enough.”

“I am sure if you try again, you’ll get it,” Angmar adds, taking another step towards him, and for each step he takes Khamul takes a step backwards. “It really is very simple.”

“Angmar, no!”