#the story was engaging and there was obviously a lot to analyze if i wanted to go deeper into it!

[likecastle]

Is it a hidden clue in the text, or are the writers just not that deep?

[theladyweaver]

Watched Hellraiser (1987) for the first time. I see what all the fuss was about this movie fucking rocks

[lavendermoonlitskies]

Hi.

It’s been a very intense week. I am a little embarrassed by the level at which I publicly freaked out on here about the possibility of losing this fandom, i.e. my happy place, and even more so how disgusted I am by that awful man’s actions, but I’m going to leave those posts up because they are genuinely how I feel and I do not want anyone to think I no longer care about what he has done.

I posted a lot about not wanting to lose this fandom space or the enjoyment out of watching this series, but with my head a little more clear, I want to make it known that victims of sexual assault getting justice for what has happened to them is always the number one priority. At best, NG took advantage of his authority to get what he wanted out of two women with their reluctant consent, traumatizing them in the process. I feel the way I feel about Good Omens, but if this results in season 3 being scrapped, then so be it. I will be upset (not at the victims, obviously), but life goes on and I will be fine.

I’ve done a lot of thinking in terms of fandom engagement, and the truth is, at this point in my life, this is how I get through the day. The fandom is talented, brilliant, funny, and at this point in time it’s too engrained in my daily routine to completely deprive myself of it so suddenly. I mentioned this in another post, but things in my life are really unsure at the moment and the constant anxiety about not being where I should be is terrible for my mental health.

Good Omens came into my life right around the time I needed it, it’s an escape. A fictional world for me to immerse myself in and 1) see myself in a disabled character whose disability is not only represented well, but celebrated in a way that I’ve never seen before on screen, and 2) imagine a happy ending for a couple of characters I’ve grown to love, during a time where I don’t know what my happy ending looks like. If I’m being completely honest, 90% of my engagement with it anyway is with fanfics, art and metas from fans.

As I’ve been kind of quietly lurking around people’s tumblrs and ao3’s, I started to realize that other fans are probably in the same mindset that I am, and I recognized that this fandom may be their happy place too and they don’t deserve to have that taken away over the actions of one man who isn’t even the sole author of the book, and is only one of many, many individuals involved in the production of the show. I had to sit with that and realize that holding myself to an entirely different standard is unfair, so I won’t. Nobody’s a bad person for drawing their favorite characters, or writing stories, or analyzing a relationship between two fictional characters in-depth in a tumblr post for other fans.

I don’t want to hurt anybody, I just want to be happy. That’s all.

[jacksgreysays]

Extremely late, completely unnecessary opinion of the Watcher situation, (2024-04-24)

So this is a relatively belated post — several days after the initial “Goodbye Youtube” and one day after the “An Update” videos — and surely by this point there are more interesting/insightful op-eds (both in written form and video form, especially penguinz0’s fairly objective POV as, essentially, a YouTube expert) but there is something about the Watcher situation that made my brain itch. Thus, I wanted to write about it in order to make sense of it all as well as get into a philosophy that seems to be haunting me in recent years and which I think applies greatly here.

This may seem completely out of left field considering 1) definitely not fanfiction and 2) about Watcher Entertainment, a YouTube channel which—as far as this tumblr is concerned—I’ve not engaged with whatsoever, but I don’t know where else I would put this, and weirdly enough I think the general tumblr response to this whole predicament is maybe the… if not objective… then at least, most thoughtful?—or, perhaps, least immediately reactive?—amongst the various social media platforms, that I think some people might appreciate this anyway.

In terms of my relevant background: I majored in Management Science (which is just a fancy way of saying Economics + Business + Accounting because they are, weirdly enough, separate things) and minored in Film Studies in school, I am currently working in the stage tech industry (which, I know, is obviously different from film/video industry), and I like to think I am a fan/consumer of a wide variety of independent creators, some of whom I am lucky enough to be able to afford being a patron/subscriber. I won’t go into all of them—because it is a lot—but there are four in particular whose business models I want to analyze in comparison to Watcher’s admitted blunder:

A) RocketJump (known for Video Game High School and Anime Crimes Division; the core group which turned into the podcast Story Break, then became Dungeons and Daddies) B) Dropout (formerly College Humor, we’ll get into their discography later) C) Drawfee (previously an offshoot of College Humor, now fully independent) D) Corridor Digital (used to be mostly behind the scenes of how VFX studios work, have since become a mostly original content creator)

I will say, right off the bat, I am a patron of Drawfee as well as Dungeons and Daddies, and I am a subscriber to Dropout. I am not subscribed to Corridor Digital’s streamer, which I will get into why later. I understand that being able to sustain those two patronages and one subscription is a luxury that not everyone can afford and so my point of view is already skewed by being such a person who could theoretically afford another streaming service if I so chose. I also acknowledge that many fans of Watcher are not in similarly financially secure places as I am and that regardless of the business model, any monetization that comes from fans would have been a rough ask. However, I wanted to go into this essay in a way that accepts Watcher’s statement—that they needed more funding—in relatively good faith rather than assuming the worst (although that is another point I’ll get into later, largely related to the philosophy I brought up earlier.)

All four of the above listed content creators started or, at least, hit their stride on YouTube:

RocketJump and College Humor were, if not household names, then the digital equivalent of it in the “early days of YouTube.” They were part of the wave of content creators that made YouTube seem less like a bunch of eccentrics with cameras making videos on the side and more like a viable way to support yourself/your team with the art you create.

RocketJump’s Video Game High School went from short (less than 10 minutes) minimal location episodes in season one, to 30 minute plus episodes with full on fight scenes and car explosions by season three thanks to a Monster Energy brand deal. They also had two seasons of Anime Crimes Division, a literal TV quality show, thanks to a Crunchy Roll sponsorship. Unfortunately, RocketJump shut down not long after (their videos are still up on YouTube but they obviously don’t add anything new) but the core creative team behind that have been involved in several projects outside of YouTube (Dimension 404 on Hulu being one of the biggest ones so far) including the podcast Story Break (part of the Maximum Fun network) and now the independent podcast Dungeons and Daddies, the episodes of the main campaigns which are free with ads or, for patrons, ad-less along with additional mini-campaigns and other benefits.

I will say, during RocketJump’s decline, they did try their best to keep going. The partnerships with Monster Energy and Crunchy Roll were the big swings to get the funding to make those TV quality shows they wanted. I believe they lucked out with those brands in particular, or, at least, those brands didn’t seem to inhibit the creative process or ask too much of them that it felt like “selling out” but I also don’t have insight into why they didn’t pursue this model of, essentially, very weird but interesting season long commercials. Maybe they just couldn't find the right brands or maybe they did feel like it was too stifling. Regardless, before they shut down completely, they did also downsize—moving out of the actual city of Los Angeles over to Buena Park. Which is in Los Angeles county, and basically counts as LA still, but is way cheaper than literal Hollywood real estate. (I should have added to my relevant background that I’m born and raised LA county, and have relatives and friends in the film/movie industry, so trust me when I say literal Hollywood/city of Los Angeles is so overrated and unnecessarily expensive. There is a reason why LA traffic is the worst and it’s because everyone is commuting INTO the city. Respectfully and with affection, no one should live there. No one’s start up should be located there.) Obviously the downsizing didn’t necessarily work for RocketJump, but they also didn’t have multiple successful revenue streams the way that Watcher currently does.

In contrast, College Humor was acquired by InterActiveCorp and was turned into CH Media which was three pronged: College Humor, Drawfee, and Dorkly. In 2018 they made Dropout, which had exclusive content separate from their YouTube videos which involved all three prongs. Then some financial shenanigans happened early 2020—IAC withdrew their funding—and there were a bunch of layoffs right before the pandemic which extremely sucked. It has been stated by multiple people involved that it was basically a miracle that Dropout survived through all of that, but there were definitely some sacrifices along the way to make that happen. Currently, Dropout seems to be thriving with mostly exclusive content with the occasional “first episode of a season” posted to YouTube, OR if Dimension 20 is doing a “sequel season” in an already established campaign they will put the entirety of the previous season on YouTube.

IAC withdrawing their funding did put CH Media in a bind. They had to layoff a lot of people right before pandemic and, understandably, a lot of trauma was had. There were also weird issues with who controlled certain IPs/brands/digital assets (I mostly come at this from a Drawfee POV, it took several years for them to own the Drawga series and be allowed to host all of the episodes on their YouTube, and there was also something about the sound file for their opening animation?) but mainly the difference is what kind of content they generate. Originally Dropout had multiple scripted shows with high budgets and pretty cool effects/animations/stunts (Troopers, Kingpin Katie, Gods of Food, Ultramechatron Team Go!, Cartoon Hell, and WTF 101) whereas now almost all of their shows are variations of improv comedians being put into different scenarios or given different prompts. I’m not just talking about Game Changer and Make Some Noise, because Dimension 20 and Um, Actually also technically fall under that description as well. Which is not to say that these shows are worse than the scripted shows—I subscribe to Dropout, so clearly I’m a fan of their current shows—and the budgets for them have since increased to resemble, if not match, those early shows, but it is a noticeable shift in their content creation strategy as a response to the lack of IAC funding. And I will say: Dropout releases at least three videos a week if not more and at least two of those are long form at 30 minutes plus (Dimension 20 being the longest, of course.)

So, these first two business models are not really the most applicable to Watcher Entertainment considering their origin was to get away from Buzzfeed—they’re probably not keen to be partnered with or purchased by a larger company—but there are some aspects to both that I believe are valuable in at least showing the strategy in how these former YouTube creators could successfully extract themselves from YouTube or how they still utilize YouTube even if it is not their main hosting platform or revenue stream.

Then there is Drawfee and Corridor Digital, both of whom are currently—if not primarily—on YouTube, whose situations are more comparable to what I believe are Watcher’s goals.

Drawfee had to rebuild themselves like a phoenix from the ashes of the CH Media layoff during the beginning/worst of the pandemic. Side note: I’m happy that Nathan (one of the four main artists of the current Drawfee team) at least has forgiven(? or let bygones be bygones) Dropout enough to be on an episode of Game Changer (although I will say that this happened after Drawga was “returned” to Drawfee, and after Dropout officially split from College Humor as a brand.) All that being said, Drawfee was a team of four artists plus their editor who wanted to stick together but basically had all of their support system taken away from them. They took a bit of a break to assess their goals and options, announced a patreon with several tiers with great perks, and stuck to their upload schedule. In addition to two videos a week, they also stream on Twitch weekly, have a patron only stream once a month, and a draw class (for one of the higher tiers) once month. After asking their patrons on the relevant tiers if they were okay with it, they began releasing the patron only stream and the draw class to the general public for free after a month. The patreon perks also include things like merch discount codes, high quality PNGs of the final rendered art, access to the draw class with live interaction/critique, and a commission from the artist of your choice. The only “ads” they run are for their own patreon and merch store and, even then, they’re usually at the end of the videos with a credit scroll of the patron names during their exit banter.

Admittedly, they only have MAYBE eight employees—that’s including their video editor(s?) and their discord mod(s?)—with the main four artists doubling/tripling up duties as additional video editors, CFO, and marketing/merch leads. It’s a very streamlined crew and their production costs are not very high since it’s mostly screen recording of their drawings with their audio recording overlayed onto that footage. Although the video editors do sometimes have clever cuts to relevant images depending on their vamping. Sometimes they will have a guest artist but, again, since it’s screen and audio recordings, there’s no travel/housing costs. So, very minimal expenses due to low production costs and small crew but, again, their only revenue source is the patreon/merch, they don’t do outside ads and they very rarely do live shows.

Corridor Digital is, I think, the most applicable to what Watcher would ideally do, which I suppose is somewhat ironic for this essay in particular considering they’re the only one of the four that I don’t financially support. They have two YouTube channels: their main one being where they show the “final product” videos, but I believe their Corridor Crew channel which started primarily as behind the scenes type of videos is where most of their views come from. Especially their React series (VFX artists, Stuntmen, and Animators React etc.) On Corridor Crew they usually upload two videos a week — one which is a React and the other which goes into fun projects/challenges (involving VFX or not) or using VFX to explain scientific concepts — as well as the first episodes of their exclusive content on their streamer. Also behind that paywall are longer and ad-less versions of the videos on YouTube. They also have merch. All of them have merch, I don’t know why I’m stating that. They don’t have a patreon as far as I know, but I also don’t know if their subscription to their website comes with similar perks like discounted merch or something similar.

Anyway, their studio seems to be about 15 to 20 people — not all of them are VFX artists, of course. I believe they have higher equipment costs than Watcher since, understandably, Corridor has to be on the cutting edge of video editing technology. They do occasionally travel for shoots, but it doesn’t require big teams, and that’s only when the local locations available to them don’t match the requirements for the “final product” videos. Otherwise most of their videos are set in the studio or in the alleyway outside their studio in Los Angeles (the city itself, not just the greater county, though they are in a rougher and thus probably cheaper part of Los Angeles). I personally don’t subscribe to their website primarily because their exclusive shows don’t appeal to me—either they’re too technical or a little too dry; to be fair, most of them are VFX artists first before they are performers—and I don’t particularly feel the need to see the extended cuts of the videos uploaded on YouTube. Also I sometimes get a little bummed out by their lack of diversity.

All of this to say, from these four different business models, a bespoke Frankenstein business model for Watcher could be cobbled together. But also, even with that bespoke Frankenstein, there are some changes that Watcher would have to make: primarily their upload schedule. As of right now, I think they do MAYBE one video a week if not, perhaps, one video every TWO weeks. If they want a monthly subscription model, their rate of content generation would ideally be higher to double/quadruple their current upload rate. Obviously they want to create videos with higher production value, but at that rate of generation, something’s got to give: supplement their TV quality shows with either a behind the scenes type series or an increase of “we get four episodes out of Shane and Ryan get increasingly drunk in someone’s backyard” or something similar. Leaning into shows like Worth A Shot (the first season in which Ricky Wang makes cocktails based on a random ingredient, the second season threw in some competitive aspects which I didn’t really find necessary) or the Beatdown which has relatively low production costs (no travel, one location, maybe two cameras at most therefore smaller crew requirements) but a higher polished look. Otherwise, for a separate streaming subscription service, 2-4 videos a month is not going to cut it.

As of right now they probably can’t back out of the separate streaming subscription service because those set ups usually require some level of contract/paying for servers for the website and whatever is hosting their videos for a set amount of time. However, what really strikes me is that I literally didn’t know they had a patreon until I scrolled through the comments of the first Goodbye Youtube video. Maybe it’s been linked "tactfully" in the descriptions of videos, but considering they claim to be lacking in funds, the fact that they weren’t plugging their patreon at the end of every video is not just strange, but also irresponsible considering they do have 25 employees that they don’t want to layoff.

Additionally, I understand artists needing to be in a space that promotes creativity, but there are cheaper places that must be comparable that aren’t in literal Hollywood. It’s an unnecessary expense. On top of that, other people have already brought up that it was fairly crass to introduce this paywall, attributing it to the increased production costs, when the next planned “new series” is a reboot of an old Buzzfeed series in which people travel and eat expensive food. I’m not even talking about the personal expenses of Steven, Shane, and Ryan; what kind of car they drive or the cost of their wedding venue doesn’t matter on a business model basis.

But getting back to the patreon: again, I literally didn’t know they had one. I’m looking over their tiers— they have $5, $10, $25, and $100 — and for the most part they seem okay, although I think they have more to offer that wouldn’t necessarily cost them more. Ie, something that has baffled me for a while: the fact they don’t sell the mp3s of the Puppet History songs; they already exist and it doesn’t cost them anything additional because they don’t need to put it on physical media. Or maybe they do and they’re not marketing it similarly to how they weren’t overtly marketing their patreon?

And, okay, maybe they didn’t want to seem desperate — in the early days of Dropout and independent Drawfee, they both were very blatant in getting people to subscribe/join their patreon. As they should be. Desperation maybe doesn’t look cool and sexy, but it is earnest in a way that conveys equal effort that fans who can afford it would want to see. The fact that we weren’t getting rotating ten second clips of Steven, Shane, and Ryan asking people to join the patreon at the end of every video — even if its the same clip every three videos — is wild. And yes, the $25 tier includes a shoutout every 3 months on Watcher Weekly+ (which I don't quite understand what that is,) but the fact that they weren’t doing a quick post movie credits scroll of all the patreon names is, again, wild. Once you have that initial list, it’s not too difficult to add any new names that join and put that title overlay on top of, again, those nonexistent ten second clips of the three.

As others have already stated, it seems like an extreme mismanagement of their existing successful revenue streams, if they are actually struggling to pay all of their employees. Which goes into the philosophy part of this essay: don’t assume malice when it might just be incompetence. It’s something that I have to remind myself of often because I do get paranoid about people’s intentions sometimes and I have to check myself. Am I being overly suspicious of what might be just an honest mistake? Am I assigning ill will to an action just because it inconvenienced me?

Yes, of course, a lot of this situation could be misconstrued as straight up greed. But, also, Watcher is a relatively young company, helmed by three people who certainly don’t have experience running their own company:

They like to travel. They like to bring a full crew around with them. They’re renting out a shiny office in the heart of Hollywood where everyone knows is where real show biz happens. They’re adding more employees to the team because surely more people means better. And they want better productions values because the prettier the videos the more people will like them right?

It’s naive. It’s a level of inexperience combined with giving responsibility to officers whose main priority is to entertain. And if that means entertaining themselves and their staff, then they might not know the difference. It’s the kind of mistake that first time managers make—trying to prioritize fun over getting the job done. Prioritizing making friends with their employees rather than making sure the work the employees put in is equal to (or greater than) what you spend on them whether that is in paycheck or bringing them to cool locations for fun shoots. It’s a mistake anyone can make, it's just unfortunate that they made this mistake in front of millions of people. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s solely a greed induced cash grab.

But then comes the catch-22 of the philosophy—is it worse to assume incompetence than it is to assume malice? Or, in this case, greed. Especially for the heads of a company that holds the livelihoods of 25 employees in their hands. At what point does it not matter if it’s incompetence or greed if the end result is the same?

Is it better to think that Watcher knew about the various other business models of independent creators and just ignored the efforts put into achieving those successes or is it better to think that they didn’t know and just stumbled into one of the worst moves they could have done. Again, other people have mentioned that Great Mythical Morning—which Watcher has had multiple collaborations with—has managed to make the YouTube subscription/tier system work to the point that they can sustain themselves as well as spinoff channels. Is it incompetence or greed that led to Watcher thinking they could bypass that completely in less time and with less content?

I’ve been at this mess of an essay for several hours when I should have been asleep. Ultimately I want to say, regardless of incompetence or greed… yes, Steven is CEO and yes he is ultimately the one who makes the final call but it is disheartening to see the pointed vitriol at Steven specifically and the infantilizing of Shane and Ryan in comparison. Either they’re all silly uwu boys who are messing around not knowing how to run a company, or they’re all complicit in a crass cash grab in an extremely busted economy.

I think what’s most frustrating to me in all this is that there were so many other channels and creators who have literally walked this path before them and, again, whether through incompetence or greed or arrogance, for them to just ignore it… It’s not betrayal because I don’t know them and so there’s no relationship to betray, it’s just so inefficient and convoluted that I don’t understand. Or, no, even if it was greed, it’s an incompetent greed because at least pure greed would have been pushing that patreon every second they could. Their ratio of YouTube subscribers to patreon members is less than 1% and I bet that’s because a lot of their audience, like me, literally didn’t know they had a patreon. I probably would have become a patreon member of theirs had I known earlier, ESPECIALLY if it included access to those Puppet History songs. Drawfee has half as many YouTube subscribers and nearly double the patreon members as Watcher. I’m just baffled, is all, and maybe by this point sleep deprived.

Anyway. That’s my extremely late, completely unnecessary opinion of this situation.

Edit (several hours later after some sleep): I forgot to mention, because they did walk this back almost immediately, even before their "An Update" video, but I believe the original plan was to put EVERYTHING behind that paywall and pull their content from YouTube entirely. Which is, again, extremely baffling, because if ALL of their content is behind a paywall, how would they possibly gain new fans? Even if all of their current fans were able and willing to pay for their separate subscription streaming service, how would a brand new person even stumble on their content enough to want to subscribe if there wasn't a significant amount of "proof of value" free content on YouTube? Again, extremely baffling, and a level of incompetence that overshadows a "cunning" greed. But, like I said earlier, they did walk this decision back almost immediately. If I've misunderstood this and that was never their plan, please let me know, I don't want to be spreading misinformation in a situation that is already so convoluted.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

I just wanted to say that I am really envious of the way you write the Vees. As someone who struggles with making characters woobiefying and with characterization in general, I appreciate how you can write these characters perfectly that the show didn’t have time to portray. I didn’t have a specific request, but now I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to analyze and write a character, even if you have a personal bias towards them?

Awww thank you so much ❤️ I don't have like any degree in literature or anything that would give me credibility in giving writing advice, usually I just go with the flow. But I'll do my best!

Imo the most fundamental thing is the way you think about characters. In fandom spaces, we very often see them as "people we like" - hence all the discourses like in Valentino's case "if you like him it means you are a bad person". I think that woobification is influenced by this cognitive dissonance caused by liking characters that should be unlikeable. For me the way out of it was giving up "characters as people" mindset and changing it for "characters as tools". Bacause that's what they are - tools you use to build your narrative. When I say I love Valentino I don't mean I would shake his hand - I mean he's my favourite toy I can do multiple things with. And it's his flaws that make him so much fun. Because outside of the comedy genre, narrative cannot exist without conflict. The more flaws a character has, the more conflict it causes. That's why villains are such a powerful driving force for stories (here are some great essays about it: 1, 2). Put any character in the room with Val and you have an interesting bit not only because of the usual character differences that could happen between eg. Vaggie and Husk but also because stakes suddenly become high. What will he do? Will he hurt them? We saw what he's capable of. Will he be nice? Man, that's even worse because it means he has his own motive to be nice. What might it be? That's what keeps the audience engaged with your writing. Extra points if you give him some human weaknesses or conflicting desires. When it comes to characterization, nuance is the key. That's why I love VoxVal so much - two characters that are absolutely awful but they are fiercely in love. How could Valentino be capable of simply caring about someone but himself? What kind of human is buried underneath all this evil? So much to unpack here. Nothing I'd like to experience but everything I'd like to see from a safe distance. Consider: would you even like the Vees so much in the beginning if they were just other guests at the hotel? In the show, neither of them has a single redeemable quality. And yet, here we are.

When it comes to writing characteristics it's also important to watch characters from different perspectives - that helps with giving them nuance. Let's take Vox. People seem to like and respect him, he's obviously an influential figure (he has a lot of social power). But from Alastor's perspective, he's just a pathetic little attention-seeking looser (he has a fragile ego and lowe self-esteem). Yet his assistant seemed to be scared shitless while talking to him (he had done things that made people from his closer look aware that he's dangerous). Angel knows he watches his abuse and hangs out with Valentino (at best he's indifferent to other's suffering, at worst he enjoys it). Carmilla doesn't respect him but they are on terms good enough, Vox wants to do business with her (he's a competent business partner). For the rest of Vees he's smart enough to listen to him but at the same time he's their cringefail naurospicy bestie. Add all of those perspectives together and you have yourself a multidimensional character that can interact with other elements of the narrative in vastly different ways. Also, from that point you can build up, asking yourself other questions "What would they think/do/say?".

Also, the last thing: every character needs a clear goal that influences all their decision. Choose it and always keep it in mind. Bonus points: a character has two main goals that are contradictory. When I write Vox he has two goal: power and adoration. He always has to choose which one is more important to him because while he has measures to achieve great power, some things that he would want to do are socially undesirable. In Valentino's case: hedonistic pleasure and immediate gratification vs love for Vox that demands sacrifices and compromises.

So anyway I hope that will be helpful to you <3 And don't be too hard on yourself when it comes to writing, not everything must be Game of Thrones. Especially in fandom spaces, sometimes we all want to indulge in some simple fluff or crack.

[dukeofdelirium]

I'm not surprised that a lot of the young heterosexual guys in the ST fandom also suffer from the male loneliness epidemic. While Gen Y guys certainly weren't the smartest people to ever walk the earth, they at least had critical thinking skills and the ability to communicate and have discussions with people.

I see so many of these young men in this fandom wear stupidity like it's a badge of honor. They want everyone to know that they don't like using their brains and that they fully expect tv shows to be dumbed down to meet their lack of intelligence.

They also need constant validation and can't handle anyone challenging their viewpoints. They have no emotional control and sound like toddlers.

It's no wonder no one wants to date or even befriend them. It's exhausting being around people who enjoy being unintelligent, uninteresting, and have zero social skills or emotional intelligence.

Agreed lol. I especially don’t want to be around it. I already work full time and deal with morons daily, so engaging w any fandom for me is like filtering all the bullshit out as much as possible 😂

The fact they proudly state that ST is nothing but a “monster show” shows how dumb they are bc wtf leads you to even believe that conclusion in the first place? There’s obviously much more going on here than the sci-fi and horror elements, or the 80’s nostalgia and whatnot. Sure, that’s an aspect of it, but this is clearly a character and relationship driven show…

Whatever tho, they just wanna make fun of us and call us stupid for analyzing the show. It’s specifically because we believe in the gay romance and that we believe the story is representing homophobia through the horror and monsters that they call us names and act like we’re crazy. If it weren’t gay, they wouldn’t think or say those things.

And that’s exactly why they’ll hate s5. I hope it makes them scream and cry about it lol.

[chiarrara]

Nanami anon here. I really hope they develop Mahoro with these sorts of themes in mind. I can't believe I forgot the princess aspect of Nanami, it's such a big thing in Utena in regards to self delusion and how people end up stuck in gendered social roles. This general perspective is what's keeping me interested in Bucchigiri cuz I can see so much potential for that sort of depth. I'm so glad I could help spark this sort of discussion (it's been sorta hard to find people willing to engage with these kind of interpretations).

Hiiii Nanami anon! I'm so glad you came back!!

Yes I think this story is so interesting even just in the potential it sets up. If it doesn't deliver on that potential it could be disappointing, I guess. but it brings up a lot of interesting discussions either way, so I'm just enjoying where we are right now and the conversations going on in the criminally tiny fandom.

To be completely honest i spent a lot of time arguing with people about the literary worth of this show on another platform and it was just depressing. Nobody wanted to engage deeper than surface level appeal, and only would approach it through an extremely narrow lens of expected tropes of the type of show *they* wanted to watch, and a demand for pandering to one type of fan in a genre it doesn't even really belong to, instead of honestly approaching it for what it is and the story it's trying to tell. I've been trying to curate my experience more so I can actually enjoy myself, and interacting with the small community of people here who actually like to enjoy and analyze the show within the literary conversation it's clearly trying to have has been so much more fulfilling.

ANYWAY, I love what you're bringing up because self-delusion is such a big theme here! and specifically how it interacts with compulsory gender roles!!! Like, Arajin is trying so hard to fulfill compulsory heterosexuality, but is running away from the very masculine coded honor-through-fighting that senya and the general culture value. A lot of people suspect that his pursuit of losing his virginity is a way to make up for his self-perceived weakness and failure to uphold the masculine ideal of honor-through-fighting when he was young.

THEN when MAHORO stands up and displays that ideal, he is able to achieve it (at least for a moment). There's also discussion that if this follows Aladdin, he's going to lose the genie and some point and will have to essentially prove himself as honorable without the genie's help. This could be interesting. We'll see what happens.

So is fighting masculine coded in this show? Or is it just the height of honor? Or is fighting for the right reasons or in the right ways honorable. Because not all the fighting is portrayed as a good thing.... I'm thinking out loud here.

Anyway, Mahoro is also stuck in this gendered role obviously, but I wonder how much self-delusion will play into it. She believed she needed to use her role as a cute girl to stop the fight, but all those attempts failed. Ultimately what worked was dropping the facade, dropping the role & those tactics, and standing up to fuckface (i do not care about this man I'm so sorry lol) as HERSELF. Saying what she really thought, how she really felt about these people and the whole situation. And basically willing to sacrifice her well-being to do so. Ooooh this is so interesting!!!!

I really can't wait to see where this goes, I know I keep saying that but. It's true. I mean, Matakara could be said to have some delusions about honor. Maybe the way he sees his brother is diluted. He believes in Arajin to a fault, but he was proven correct. Although it wasn't him that sparked the change. I dunno, a lot to think about.

I'm so glad I could be an intermediary for this discussion! I don't know anything about Utena, but if y'all do feel free to talk through me lol. I'm loving this.

[ripplestitchskein]

I've been binge reading your Helluva Boss and Stolitz posts for a while now and I love how mature and nuanced your takes are. I've run into a good deal too many Stolitz antis on Twitter who won't give Stolas and Blitzo's relationship a chance to improve later, despite the show clearly trying to do just that. I'm especially tired of people saying that their relationship is one-sided. And even when actual evidence is put out there that Blitzo actually does like Stolas back, they say it doesn't count because those hints are less than 5 second long small details rather than being spoonfed to them. Just argued with one of them on Twitter like an hour ago and that's exactly what they said. And they accused ME of not paying attention because in their mind, Stolitz was built up from sexual assault, and they think Blitzo's line in Western Energy "He can get hurt?" is somehow out of character which confused the hell out of me, and they kept insisting that Blitzo had "zero interest" in Stolas no matter what.

Thank you so much!! I do try my best to be as rational and logical as possible so I’m glad it’s coming through, not to say I don’t have emotionally based reactions or bias but in my meta analysis I try to set my personal feelings about the text presented aside and just talk about what it could potentially mean based on recurring elements, themes, and deliberate choices made throughout not just in individual scenes.

LooLoo Land is a perfect example, there are some moments in that episode I heavily dislike (Blitzø shoving the dolls down his pants, the “as long as she washes it” convo, and Stolas being sexually inappropriate in front of his kid) so I do understand some of the criticism. It was also episode two and being a creative myself I know firsthand that things like that happen. You put in things early, for a joke, a laugh, to highlight personalities and they don’t necessarily come across the way you intended or jive with where the story ends up. Which is why a lot of my analysis takes in the entirety of what we have so far, the recurring stuff, not just individual moments or one off lines.

I’ve always maintained that it’s crucial to remember that creators are not perfect beings who are getting their story from on high fully formed, they make mistakes, they get inspired and take things in a different direction as things develop, they can contradict themselves over time. It happens.

It’s also a cartoon so it’s limited in how much it can even do, how expressive the characters can be, how much time they have to explore and the medium absolutely comes into play when analyzing it. Art has always been and will always be subjective, and unless the creator flat out contradicts something it’s largely left to interpretation, but that interpretation cannot be based on one scene, or one episode, or a one off bit of dialogue or a single expression either.

I always encourage not wasting your time arguing with people who are still serving up early content talking points or who dont have media literacy as a learned skilled. I know it’s super hard, I’m guilty of it myself. I was so close to going off on a “Stella and Stolas are mutually abusive” take last night you have no idea. It was more the dude was just being deliberately obtuse to the point I stopped myself and was like “they have to be trolling, no way someone believes this”. You can’t change their minds, they obviously don’t want to engage with the material from a place of good faith, and it just bums you out at the end of it.

A lot of them are really young too I find, which may be part of the disparity. I’m 38 so I have a lot of different experiences to draw from they haven’t had yet. I’ve been a fandom girl since I was a kid, I’ve always been a shipper and I also create things so my perspective is further down the line and with lived experience some people don’t have yet. I’m reminded of this daily, my oldest son is 18 and we have many conversations where I’m reminded about how much you learn as you grow older and the assumptions you make as a younger person. This is not to say that younger people can’t think critically but it is a skill and it improves over time like any other.

I also encourage people to think of what is being said and why. There is a lot of hate for VivziePop as a person. My understanding is she said some things early on and created a hate base that is going to deliberately misinterpret just to validate their initial assumptions about her motive and character. With popular things there is always a small subset that hate a show because of its popularity too, I don’t think because they are jealous like some speculate but because they didn’t personally enjoy it and don’t like feeling like they are missing something, so they take it in a “it must be the children who are wrong” Principal Skinner approach. They can’t see why people love it so those people must be ignoring what they didn’t like about it and they must tell them.

Sometimes people like another ship or another character more, and their ship might involve one half of yours, or they don’t feel their character is getting the same focus and attention because of yours. So instead of just letting everyone enjoy their own things it’s now a competition, a source of resentment and they must make that everyone else’s problem.

And I’ve talked about the fascistic purity culture that seems to encroach into fiction spaces as well that is also at heavily play. Any time a character does anything that is vaguely “toxic”, “problematic” they are immediately painted with the SA brush, the creator is promoting it and the fans are enabling it and are somehow directly responsible for it existing in the world. You can’t do anything about them except enjoy what you like, look at it critically within your own personal comfort level, and as always, my favorite thing to say “kill the cop in your head.” Not just with fiction but everything.

I’m glad my analysis is being enjoyed, and I super appreciate your feedback on it. Come to my inbox anytime and we’ll enjoy the ride together!

[tenebrius-excellium]

I'm a bystander in all this, but I do wonder why you have such trouble believing that hiccups isn't some naive pacifist when in the very first film he chooses to kill the red death instead of trying to tame it? Or at least try and understand it? Like for the pacifist you think he is, that would be the very, very last option even when his loved ones are in danger, for any pacifist that would be the last step the one he didn't want to do (which he obviously did as every show/film after that shows hiccup feeling no remorse or disgust over it). And for hiccup letting his enemies walk all over him, that's most likely a self-preservation thing? For all the years of abuse and neglect he's been through, just because he's letting that happen doesn't mean he's not still thinking of ways to destroy them It's just to keep himself safe? This isn't hate or anything towards you, I like your blog, but I just think it's really part of the phenomenon that's so prevalent in fandom spaces nowadays that fanon/someone's hcs get so big they often get mistaken for canon and not a lot of people are engaging with the actual story in any way after a while, or they skim it so they don't get the depth of what's actually the truth. Again no hate obviously but I guess It's difficult for people like me to see takes like 'Hiccup is a pacifist' when everything else tells us otherwise or tells us he won't feel bad using violence and death to get what he wants or to get results when we know a real pacifist is usually a centrist and hiccup is very much not that

Heya! Hoo boy there are some misunderstandings making the rounds now oops.

My original take on this was: Og Hiccup, which means Httyd1 Hiccup, and Httyd1 Hiccup ONLY, is NOT a pacifist. Og Hiccup knows exactly what's at stake and acts accordingly. Og Hiccup is careful to extend his trust, as are the dragons he comes into contact with. And og Hiccup gives his love fully and lavishly when his trust is rewarded while simultaneously not hesitating to take out the Red Death because that dragon is clearly the source of all the pain that Berk and the other dragons have been through.

To me, every other Hiccup, especially RttE and Httyd2 Hiccup, is a pacifist. @/howtodrawyourdragon correctly opened my eyes to the fact that Rob/Dob Hiccup might not have been a pacifist after all, because that's when Berk was still characterized as tough and violent and everyone was still cooling off from the whole 'killing dragons' mindset. Enemies were also not 'misunderstood friends' yet. Like. The first enemies young Hiccup encountered were literal Outcasts. I don't remember if it was ever actually explained if the Outcasts are merely a tribe like the Berserkers, but the term Outcasts alone gave me a kind of impression that made the Berkians correct in treading with caution around them. Like. Outcasts are typically people who have failed to be integrated into society, so they have been banned to Outcast Island, no? Idk, anyway, it was full of evil-meaning thugs. There may have been a reason for Hiccup to stay vigilant.

What surprises me, through and through, to this day, is that Httyd2 Hiccup was written to be such a well-meaning pacifist. Like. Httyd1 Hiccup wasn't like that, why suddenly go there? It's like the director fumbled an arc out of his sleeve that Hiccup had to "go through" for growth, only... to me, Hiccup never needed that particular lesson. "A Chief protects his own", please, what else was the fight against the Red Death? The fights against Alvin? Hiccup had been doing that already. It was a fictional lesson to create plot for Httyd2.

Hiccup went soft in Httyd2. Artificially soft. Pacifist soft.

THAT is what I was aiming to analyze. I should have specified more.

RttE Hiccup fluctuates, but I don't want to open that can anymore.

I do not think og Hiccup is a pacifist. I think Httyd2 Hiccup was unnecessarily written as one. THAT is what surprised me. To write Hiccup as a peace-loving animal activist with a flower crown who can't understand, even after repeated warnings, how Drago might not share his starry-eyed opinion. When he had been fighting his own father on his stubbornness for at least a whole summer back in the first movie. Hiccup is not that blind, or dumb. Especially at age 20.

So I agree that the fandom milked Hiccup a bit too much for his supposed pacifism, but it's clearly a canon post-Httyd2 issue as well. Since RttE came out AFTER the second movie, the RttE writers had to somehow match Hiccup's character with what would lead up to his decisions in the second movie. That, to me, is why RttE is a bit sketchy in this regard.

It's all in good faith here, thank you for taking the time to send such a lengthy ask. You made very good points, especially considering the fact that Hiccup was an underdog who had to learn how to stand up for himself first (the 'keep head down out of self-preservation' thing). This is very true and might have made a better arc for Httyd2 imo. Telling Hiccup "babe, wake up, you're not being bullied anymore, you have actual influence now and people want you as Chief. You just gotta find the confidence to believe in yourself." Yeah.

Does that clarify things a little bit?

Cheers

Reddie

[contagious-watermelon]

It's interesting to me that understandings of transsexuality have been almost exclusively filtered through the lens of queerness and the social aspects of gender. In other words, that the "T" was added to "LGBT." I've thought for a while that in a lot of cases, transness — and specifically dysphoria — makes a lot more sense when analyzed through the lens of disability rather than through queerness. (Personally I see it as being at the intersection between those things.)

I think that a theory of transsexuality would be incomplete without taking into account the societal aspects of gender, yes, but it seems to be similarly incomplete in the popular understanding of it.

I've seen a lot of discussion in the stuff I've read by disabled people about the contention between being objectively harmed or, well, disabled, by your disability, but still wanting to be proud of it or finding identity in it regardless. A lot of autistic communities, I've noticed, talk a lot about the fact that being autistic is difficult; it's made worse by other people's reactions to it, but it still is hard on its own (e.g. auditory overstimulation); yet people still can say that they'd rather be autistic than not. Or they may say they wish they weren't, but that they've come to terms with it because it's not exactly changeable.

Point is, there's open discussion about the differences between inherent challenges to your disability regardless of society, the ways which ableism makes things more difficult, and the contention of finding identity and community in your disability despite that. (And I use autism as an example because I'm autistic; I don't want to speak for, say, a physically disabled community as I'm able-bodied. But I have seen similar discussions there as well.)

The trans community, as I've seen, doesn't really have that. We're polarized between the extremely self-hating people who think that being trans is a curse and that people who like being trans are just fakers co-opting transness, and the toxically positive contingent who refuse to engage with the fact that sometimes dysphoria really does just hurt. And also that transphobia exists.

There's also the fact that in many ways, dysphoria is actually disabling. It isn't for everyone, and part of the problem is that transness as a concept covers so many things that analyzing it through just one lens will always be incomplete, but for me at least it caused me a lot of depression and dissociation, and made it difficult-to-impossible to interact with other people or function at my classes. Back before I medically transitioned, I related a lot to some descriptions by disabled people about their chronic pain, because my dysphoria effectively was chronic psychological pain. I don't want to say it's the same thing, because obviously I've only experienced one of those things, and dysphoria has a treatment while many (all?) chronic illnesses don't, but nevertheless it was a comforting lens to think of my dysphoria through in the time before I got top surgery.

Also of note is the way both our communities are treated by the medical establishment. I've heard many horror stories by disabled people of how doctors simply refuse to diagnose them or give them issues with their meds. Trans people obviously also have to deal with the shit that doctors put out in order to get access to HRT and any necessary surgeries. People deride HRT, saying that we shouldn't take it because it'll "make you a medical patient for life." People act like mental pain isn't real — calling depression fake, acting like because things like fibromyalgia aren't "real pain" that it shouldn't bother you so much, etc. — and that extends too into the way they dismiss the pain of gender dysphoria.

So, I don't really understand why the trans community has taken so many pains to disavow themselves from being considered even remotely similar to disabled people. I know that the common refrain, "we're not mentally ill!" is meant to combat the idea that we're deluded into thinking that we're a "different gender" than we really are, but the effect is throwing actually mentally ill trans people under the bus. The insistence that there's no way that dysphoria should be considered a disorder because there's nothing wrong with us — I just think that we could take a hint or two from the way that disabled people theorize about this subject.

[rhythmic-idealist]

Everytime I start to think "maybe BNHA wasn't *that bad*, maybe I could bring it back in and let it just coexist with whatever interests I have nowadays" I just look at your blog and get a snap back to reality🙏

(SORRY THIS IS LONG. Oh my god. My bad. Yw, though)

This is so interesting. I adore BNHA, and the post that people are tagging "BNHA critical" lately was.... intended not to be read as "BNHA uncritically believes this thing" but instead as "BNHA constructs a society that it specifically exposes for this bad thing."

I really will never agree with decisions made with the end of the manga. [I'm about to do manga spoilers. I figured this was okay since you aren't coming back, but you can stop here if you'd rather.]

Tenko should have lived. Himiko should have lived. Touya DESERVED to live, although I find myself less burned by his specific tragedy & it seems handled with the most appropriate context and care.

Like. I've analyzed it, and I'll continue to. I get the feeling even Horikoshi may be uneasy with it, although I'll never know for certain obviously and I always feel strange speculating about that stuff. But I don't think the ending was good.

BNHA started conversations in public spaces for me and gave me specific characters and concepts in ways that I will never begrudge it, and for that I find myself really just unbelievably lucky. Lucky in the ways I find myself able to continue to engage, in the fact that its ending has managed not to taint the rest of it. There still exists in my mind a very real "BNHA before the ending was written" as its own piece of art that existed for a period of time and that I'm not really done talking about. BNHA has made me want to write a novel with more of a strong pull to action than anything has for a long time.

But—while I love Tenko, and love Himiko—my favorite characters are Tenya and Hikage. Tenya's ending is imperfect, but oh my god, it's barely imperfect. Hikage's ending is imperfect for Tenko, but for HIMSELF? I have no notes. Missed opportunities, but no complaints, no notes. Oh my god Hikage fans are the luckiest people in this goddamn fandom.

And so my heart winds up insulated. I experience the letdown of the manga's end but I think that myself having other CENTERS to my BNHA experience probably has a lot to do with why it was able to deeply disappoint me without hurting me or changing itself so drastically, in the way that it has alienated so many other fans.

I really do love BNHA as a piece of art. I believe it is a good piece of art.

Growing up my favorite book was The Two Princesses of Bamarre, and I hated the final chapter with a burning passion. The feelings were significantly more intense than my BNHA ending feelings somehow, although being a tween/teen may have had something to do with that. It was still my favorite book.

I love.... so much about how BNHA opens conversations about transformative justice. I love that it's a story about how parents cannot be abandoned to protect their chid from the world alone if the child is under constant fire, and how sometimes the fire is coming from inside the house, and it is everyone's obligation to meddle even when social rules say otherwise. I have sat in Discord servers having long conversations with people who NEEDED to be asked If heroes "save people," was Jin a person?

BNHA falls short of writing an ending that imagines the world where we actually all become the hero who saves everyone, but the fact that it speaks to a fandom that is so often lagging so far behind that concept on even a basic level—that Izuku provides a conversation space for me to even tell people no he says his goal is to save everyone. Everyone. Everyone. His goal is to save everyone. "Does [x] deserve to live" I have a question. is that person one of Everyone? Then Yes, Deku Is About Saving That Person. Whether he achieves it or not, that's what the concept of Deku is for. It is for trying.

(There's a lot that I disagree with about how Izuku's ending was written too. To speculate, and I'm not the first to say this, much of the ending feels like it was.... following a plan that was made years and years ago, even when it didn't fit anymore.)

I think it was trying to do something with the idea that Tenko and Himiko were tragedies. It feels vaguely like it was trying to do something with their lack of privilege, and like it was trying to do something with characters who deserved to live but were so successfully isolated by mainstream society that their survival, unlike All Might's and Izuku's, wasn't "possible." (When the world prayed for All Might, when Ochako yelled at the civilians to buck up and take on some of Izuku's burden- Tenko and Himiko don't have that.) The strategy heroes use to kill the villains is called Divide And Conquer, and this series is about how no one can manage without Those Who Match Their Pace And Run Alongside Them. And how even with a few people like that... that's only a stopgap, and the broader context they exist in MUST change.

It imagines more than thousands of its more mainstream fanbase are willing to. I think it is something deeply important for that. I think that as a piece of political art (all art is political) it WILL ultimately matter that

But I feel that it forgot that some of its audience relates more to the Tenkos and Himikos to anyone else, and that it managed to deeply betray that audience after building so much hope.

Anyway. It's a work that wounds a lot of people for extremely legitimate reasons. Also there is sexism and some such etc in it. I'm quite glad that if you won't have fun here I manage to remind you to stay away, ahfjdisgin.

I am.... a little sore lately abt that post of mine circulating with the tag "BNHA critical"—not because of the tag itself, but because it shows me several people seriously believing a post I made about "look at this cool flaw BNHA points out in its own society" means "wow, fucked up that Horikoshi EARNESTLY BELIEVES this," and that the misread is so consistent it's likely a problem with my phrasing—and so whenever I post about it now I always want to make my OWN feelings very clear. I hope this does not feel that it was at all in argument with you?

I am VERY glad we enjoy our various different fandoms in our own different corners. And that my portrayal of BNHA is honest enough to remind you that you wouldn't have a good time getting in here with me!

.....The other option for why I'm receiving this ask is that you just...... REALLY don't like local hermit Hikage Shinomori. In which case. There are so many people in BNHA-historical-era Japan who have that in common with you ahjfdsingkd <333333

[whispering-radiance]

I was preparing a question about the characters of Eiko and Nomi, but now I have a new one. Perhaps the concept of a male heir can be traced here, or Eiko expressed a desire to engage in exorcism from early childhood. But still, why do the characters of children have such serious differences? After all, they grew up in the same atmosphere (and, perhaps, only with their father and his friend). Besides, the mentality of the time couldn't allow Nomi to not be able to stand up for himself... could it? Okay, they basically grew up without a mother, which has left Eiko devoid of some sense of values, and on top of that, their father is almost always busy. That is, Eiko can be a courageous, independent, immodest and brave girl. But why isn't Nomi like that?

You may not be looking at the mentality that allows you freedom of action (I have my doubts about school, but that doesn't matter). Still, Eiko and Nomi spend a lot of time together, and they also have a cool father (it doesn’t matter whether others know about it or not - it doesn’t stop them from being proud of their father).

And something else. Does Nomi have a complex about his sister standing up for him? Or does he simply not yet know such dark feelings as envy (and, of course, loves Eiko)?

All this is important. I think this is the reason why Nomi disobeyed his father and put on the mask.

Oh this will be a long one, but RAAAAH I will answer. Now, I should probably add that not every little doodle should be analyzed under a careful eye, sometimes I just feel silly and make things because I want to.

| A golden star for parenting |

(I’m not quite sure when exactly Eiko and Nomi were born; but it might be close to defeating the sorcerer; rather than after)

Now that wasn’t fully thought out till last weekend — Amber was a part of the family for quite a bit. I never fully stated this, I just wrote “they’ve managed to start a family before she disappeared” — But oh, even though she was, she wasn’t ideal. If you’re familiar with how Slavic moms sometimes are, then you’ll have a good image of Amber’s character.

She probably left when Nomi and Eiko were old enough to remember her, but they were pretty much still young kids.

What I can say is that she ventured to stop an ancient evil from escaping the Shadow Realm, if it had managed to get out, it would have been game over for all — but obviously I can’t go on with details because I’m still polishing the story.

| Eiko and Nomi - Kids |

I’m not sure where should I start with— Hmm well, maybe I’ll start with Nomi, because I didn’t have a chance to fully explain his character.

Nomi is dangerously smart, he’s an observer and analyzer, but that doesn’t mean he’s weak or not able to stand up for himself. He knows how he should act in certain situations, and that violence is a double edged sword. Like if he stood up to bullies at school, that would just attract unwanted attention or it would have resulted in some kind of parental intervention; and he preferred not to have all eyes on him.

While Nomi sticks with his motto of “Think before you act”, Eiko acts before thinking — At least she when she was w child.

At that time, Eiko was a mess. She tried her best to fill the void their mother had left, but this turned out to be too much of a challenge for her.

She was impulsive and often ended up causing problems for herself.

They both depended heavily on each other — providing emotional support, encouragement, and trying to keep the other from getting into too much trouble. I don’t think they ever felt envy towards each other

| Are they different for each other? |

I don’t think so — What is different about them is the way of dealing with emotions and different situations. Nomi usually bottles up his feelings, prefers to stay quiet and tries to resolve everything by himself. Eiko on the other hand takes it out on the world, usually with anger.

| Exorcism |

Hmmmm— you gotta believe me on this one, but I will write a post that goes in depth on this whole concept — But the whole business with evil and good spirits was kind of an escapism for Eiko; and also a new possible path she could take in the future

| Nomi, his disobedience |

Now this event happened later in his life, we’re talking full adult, developed brain, probably near his 30s — At that time he was already a respected master.

Whatever went through his brain was a mix of an impulsive decision and childhood dreams of wanting to be a Ninja — After all, he worked incredibly hard to archive and learn the ninja knowledge — His father’s order felt like an insult. And so he wanted to prove that the right successor was there all along.

(And like I’ve mentioned in one answer— First Ninja wasn’t fully aware of the curse, but he knew something was fishy about the way the masked acted sometimes— So trusting his gut feelings he wanted it out of his clan — for safety reasons)

[moonstruckme]

Dude, I need a relationship advice from you. and please be blunt and honest with me.

So I have fiancee. To start with, I never read AO3 or tumblr near him, cos I don't want him to see me as this crazy maniac girl who loves weird and questioning fanfics that doesn't makes sense and out of line from normality. And plus our environment kinda religious and you have to agree half of the fics in here and AO3 are mostly sinful. Including poly relationship, since it looks like cheating.

Next, since we already engaged and we even planning to marry next year, I just wanna be true to him. I want him to see me entirely, that this is the woman you'll spend your lifetime with, the woman that'll bring your child to the world, etc, etc.

So, I started to read Tumblr even when he's around. Even on his lap, while he watched his mechanical series idk what about. But because I read it on iPad, obviously he also can read it too. And I love your poly marauders a lot. And it's not even that smut, not at all! And I've read something worse than your fluff poly relationship fics.

Well, since he see me read all your poly fics, he asked me about it and then we joked about it. He asked me if I would like to be in a poly relationship. And I jokingly say yes if only marauders, the one you write are real. No other marauders, only your marauders cos I know your marauders are so fucking perfect it's obvious that they won't exist in this cruel world

Suddenly he said, should we try it? Cos next year we won't be able to be crazy again. Next year we'll be tied to one another by god and government. so it'll be our last chance to be crazy. And at this point I really confused cos why the hell he brings this out? I thought we're only joking around. Why he makes it sounds real?

While I want to asked him what is he talking about, he pulled his phone, open Instagram, and show me account of the girls he would like to be in poly relationship with.

And now I'm wondering, if he's joking or not. But he already has a list of girls he wants to be in poly relationship with. And he never heard the word poly before this. Make me questioning if he actually been playing behind me? And see this as a chance to... Idk?

Should I continue this marriage plan. He kinda scared me now. Like, how could you have list of women you want to be with. And it's not fictional women, they are real, and I know this women. They mostly our friends, my friends.

If the list are black widow, or sydney sweeney. I'll be accept it and laugh and thought it just a joke. But it's not, and now I'm not sure about our relationship.

What should I do?

Btw sorry for the long story, I'm not ready to tell this to my family, and idk if I can trust my friends since they all in his list. I don't want to make them feel awkward around me or feel bad

Hi! So, this is obviously deeply personal, and I'm going to try to give my advice because you've asked for it, but I just want to say first that you should do whatever feels right for you and your relationship. I've never been in a relationship and don't know your fiancee, so I can only give you my perspective within those limitations.

It seems like this started because you want to go into your married life having complete honesty with your partner (I would want the same), so my first instinct is to have a frank conversation with him about your concerns and see what he says/how he reacts.

If you're worried he's been cheating on you, though, I can see how he might just lie in that situation. In my own opinion (again, this is just me, do what feels right for you), I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone I don't fully trust. In general, I'd probably try and step back to analyze my relationship and ask myself whether I really want to marry someone I'm already having doubts about. That's me being as blunt as I can.

I really hope it all works out for you honey, and I'm proud of you for wanting to be honest in your relationship <3

[stackthedeck]

Can I ask why you're still reblogging Marvel stuff over here when you've been very vocal about the boycott on tiktok? I'm not judging, just confused

As I said in the most recent video about what the BDS is actually asking us to do, when it comes to pressure boycotts it’s about showing the company that people who oppose this genocide still want this product so they have an incentive to actually change business practices. On tiktok I have almost 20k followers on here I have about 100. I’m nothing but an advertisement on tiktok because of my platform and the nature of the app. I have no platform here but also the culture of tumblr doesn’t make me reblogging a comic cover an endorsement of the product. Also like the divide between fandom bullshit and politic posts on tumblr is nothing. A lot of us have a set it and forget mindset when it comes to boycotts but like this is a pressure boycott we need to talk about it. I’m not buying comics anymore but I’m still writing letters to marvel comics asking them about their stance in this genocide. Obviously they’re not answering them, but it feels like doing something. I think the best thing to do in this time is to pirate marvel content, comics movies tv shows etc. well really the best thing to do is switch to indie comics but I don’t have any money to buy them lmao. I do believe that marvel comics has been used to tell important political stories in the past, Jack Kirby did not kill nazis for us to write his work and legacy off as pure bigotry, and I believe they can be radical again. We’ve got to talk about the way the mcu has twister and contorted the comic characters to fit into their war propaganda. I don’t think literary analysis and critical thought are limited to writing argumentative essays, I think fandom can be a way to analyze media. It rarely does but it can.

I’ve chosen to not talk about marvel at all until Sabra is removed from Captain America 4 but I know others are talking about back issues and things out of print and actively encouraging pirating, showing that there are ways to engage with these politics presented by the comics without giving marvel your money. A lot of people are replacing Starbucks and McDonalds with other brands or at home recipes and that’s what I consider fanfic and pirating right now. Look at Star Trek, fans can save an entire franchise. Look at the sequel rewrites in Star Wars after bigoted fan backlash, we can also change franchises too. If we work collectively and scream loud enough, maybe we can change marvel for the better. I don’t think the solution in this time is to stop being a fan because Disney and Marvel will always exist, this is why the BDS has called for a pressure boycott on Disney not a no buy boycott, but it’s time to use the collective fan community to demand change.

[9w1ft]

Can't believe that some "fans" actually think that Taylor's referencing Karlie only to communicate her queerness with them when Taylor literally said in Sweet Nothing that not only does she not want to deal with any of the bullshit the Entertainment Industry throws her way but also she very much does not want to do any of the "more" any of her fans are begging her to do either, like talk about listening to Taylor talk pretty plainly about how she actually feels about a lot of things for once with Midnights including implying that she doesn't really want to do any activism at all which includes LGBT+ activism and being like "Taylor's feelings doesn't matter, what does matter is that Taylor's queerness can be useful for *us*, so obviously that's the sole meaning of everything she did with Midnights and is doing with the Eras Tour, duh!" 🙈

sweet nothing is a good example. same with dear reader. and i don’t mean it as a value judgment, towards gaylors or towards taylor. taylor can have anxiety over these things and we can (and i would argue should) still nudge her, within reason, to affect change with her platform. and this is something that happens with pop idols. i mean, that’s why we use the term idol. they become bigger than themselves and represent something more than themselves. so i understand the desire to have the idol be one’s own guiding light, and a beacon for many. it’s a natural part of human culture.

sometimes though i get frustrated because i consider most of us to be super proficient close readers of her work, so it’s odd when what i see is people not picking up the same things i am that i assume she’s been putting down.

i also think, whether intentional or not, that people often try to put that type of engagement as being on a plane that is higher. that the act of analyzing taylor’s work exclusively through a queer lens is somehow the only true way, and any declaration of which is discourse ending. that people who see the muse at the thesis of taylor’s work are uh… annoying shippers…? like… we can be queer and also be in love. why not think about what that love story is?

like imagine walking into an art gallery putting on an exhibition full of paintings by one artist, that are clearly all of a person and this person is clearly the same person. some are painted differently, maybe different colors or styles or angles, but they’re all of the same muse. and you can look around at the exhibit and notice that the benches in the room, the frames, the lighting, the artists notes below the paintings, the little room playing a video of the artist talking about their creative process, photos of the muse and blurbs about their life, the content of the brochures on the exhibit, the music playing, the timing of the exhibit, and so on and so forth, all complement the collection of paintings.

imagine walking into this space and your immediate reaction being to walk around and tell everyone appreciating the exhibit and admiring the care that went into putting the room together that everyone needs to stop talking about the muse because it’s offensive to the artist. sure, some paintings of this collection might also fit well in an exhibition set around a different theme, or maybe you’d display them differently or disagree with incorporating pieces that aren’t paintings into the installation, but do you really walk up to the curator and demand that the gallery stop with their shenanigans and only showcase paintings in a certain way? do you really bother everyone for trying to perceive all aspects of a space on a given theme? idk, i just think that there’s something to be learned from approaching the artist’s work from the angle of the muse, you know?

like if there was a picasso exhibit where picasso fans the world round brought together all of his paintings of one of his muses, would it really be so upsetting? there are plenty of galleries where you can go to look at other collections of his work, you know? doesn’t mean it isn’t gonna be worth your time to take a look around

it’s not a perfect metaphor, i just mean to highlight that i sometimes find the attitude toward kaylor to be so unmerited, especially given what taylor has presented us all with.

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

Dungeon Meshi is one of those series where I saw enough memes and gif sets that I knew who my favorite character would be before ever watching the series. Cranky middle-aged divorced dad who is very professional and good at his job and whose crankiness is often related to worrying about his coworkers that seem determined to get themselves killed? "Support" character who usually doesn't engage in fighting but whose skills are essential to the group?

Sounds an awful lot like another favorite of mine!

Honestly, though, I like all the characters. It's one of the rare manga where I love the entire group rather than getting annoyed with the "main" character and latching onto a minor side character.

I love Laios and his monster obsession and his inability to read or understand people to the point that one of his former "friends" could barely stand him, but at the same time he can notice details and analyze well enough to guess everyone correctly in the changeling episode. He comes across as a standard hero at first but he's really kind of a misfit weirdo and also a hero.

I love Senshi and how well he has fit into the group despite being a relative stranger to them and how he tries to take care of everyone, and how he is so knowledgeable and resourceful and cares about the dungeon as a ecosystem to be maintained. Plus the man can cook! And we finally get into his backstory, and damn, I can understand why he so desperately wants to look after everyone and cares about proper nutrition and why he constantly treats Chilchuck like a child even after Chilchuck gives his age (especially since Senshi was apparently a very young dwarf at "only" 36).

I love Marcille and her angry little fits, girl, I get it, I wouldn't want to eat any of that either, and how she is willing to endure ALL of it, and basically break both actual laws and the laws of nature to get Falin back. She seems like the cute elf girl, but she will just blow a monster's head off and she has been studying all sorts illegal magic. Marcille is like the physics student at the top of her class who has been building a nuclear reactor in her basement. I have a lot of love for old fantasy anime like Record of Lodoss War (still one of my favorites), but I'm still relieved that the blond elf girl does not spend the entire series pining after the swordsman hero, if anything she seems more interested in Falin.

I love Chilchuck constantly pretending not to care and obviously caring very deeply. He claims that he is all business and that personal relationships will ruin a party, but he has stuck with the group far longer than it would be practical or even sensible, even if he got paid up front. He cares very much about being useful to the group and doing his job properly, and he will stick his neck out in a fight if he has to, he's mostly just smart enough to get out of the way. Also, after apparently years of refusing to even give his age, Chilchuck just sits down and spills that he has a (divorced) wife and kids in order to get Senshi to feel comfortable enough to talk about his own trauma.

I love how Falin, despite being killed in the first five minutes and basically spending most of the series as the "damsel in distress" needing to be rescued, gets fleshed out through flashbacks so that we can care about her as a character. She is sweet and self-sacrificing but also not a push-over, and seems just as interested in the world around her as Laios.

Izutsumi only just joined the group, but I love her, too. At least she isn't an overly "sexy" fetishized catgirl, even in a scene where she takes most of her clothing off. Actually, this series is pretty good about not relying heavily on fan service, aside from all those sexy panty shows of Senshi.

A fantasy cooking manga/anime is already a unique idea, but it also has a legitimately good overarching story, with the history of the dungeon and the mysteries behind it, and the politics of who controls the dungeon. Paying close attention to the monsters, either to eat them or because of Laios' obsessions, helps the characters understand how to fight them and stay alive, and they often solve problems in creative ways rather than just "sword fight good." It's been awhile since I enjoyed an anime this much.