#the specific character I’m thinking of rn might be a bit more of a unique take on this issue tbh I’m like

[poppyseed799]

Not caring about a character -> finding a ship with that character and you really like the ship -> start caring a whole lot more about the character -> become obsessed with the character outside of the ship you originally liked them for -> start getting mad that nobody cares about the character outside of shipping -> realize -> cycle continues

[yuri-is-online]

Sorry if this ask makes absolutely no sense I just need you to know the absolute emotion I feel because of this Ayuu.

I need you to know just . how close to tears I am . I just reread your Azul meeting his Yutu and I am. IM CRYING. THE “Your daddy’s here” IS TAKING ME OUT AND SHOOTING ME DEAD . IM GENUINELY TEARING UP. I think I’ve read every part so far twice over, barring the Yuu specific ones cause they Hurt Me. Speaking of hurt, Deuce!Yutu and Riddle!Yutu hurt me so so bad . All of the Yutus do, but they’re the ones that just came to mind rn and it’s so so sad. Especially Riddle! Yutu because he hates his dad :( Idek why I might’ve blocked out why LMAO,,, I love all the Heartslabyul characters and their kids it makes me cry. Especially Trey. He’s such a weirdly domestic freak that the idea of him being denied the family life he’s always been content with is so so sad. ALL OF THEM . THEY MAKE ME SO SAD BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE WITH YUU!! They want to be with Yuu, and most of them are obviously happy to have a kid, but to know that that’s been taken away from you by circumstances that are literally destroying the world you live and love in? Yeah. That’s Rough!!

I would love to see Jamil!Yutu and how Jamil reacts to his child feeling guilt for something he never did, was never responsible for, and again has to suffer through because of the family theirs has been forced to serve. I think he’d be so mad, so so mad this boy has grown up thinking he’s the biggest blight of his father’s life, the cause of his death, when in reality he’s probably someone Original Timeline! Jamil would have cherished.

I LOVE YOU RUGGIE BUCCHI!!! Sorry I needed to cry that out this made me love him so much more!!! And Rook!! I love you Rook Hunt you weirdo. Ruggie being like “Idrk what to do… but I can bug Leona about it” is so so real. Him not caring if his son is charismatic as long as he knows his cards and is able to survive. Rook as a phantom is genuinely breaking my heart idk why. All of the phantoms break my heart. I don’t want to imagine anything abt them if I do because if I imagine them having even a fraction of sentience I’m heartbroken. Imagine being unable to prevent something from possessing you. Imagine your body and soul being used to tear your home apart— imagine seeing any of that through your own eyes. Imagine seeing your own kid after years of thinking them missing. I would genuinely not be able to handle that. It’s giving the Last of Us zombies where they’re completely aware and conscious throughout the first phase. Scared . Heartbroken .

Anyways, this au is 100000/10 I need you to know this. YOUR MIND IS SO SO BRILLIANT!!! I’m probably gonna keep rereading everything you’ve written so far about it because I’m having so many brain worms . So so many. Sorry for this ramble!! Please ignore this ask if for any reason I might have said something you didn’t like >:]]]] I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL YEAR!!!!

;-; ty so much for your kind words anon I am injecting them into my veins to continue writing. You have said nothing wrong, rambles are nice to receive, though my ask box is a bit cluttered at the moment and I am super busy so getting to things in a timely manner is not something I am able to do.

Riddle! Yutu was the first one to get a post, and I am tempted to re do it as I was still figuring out the format. He hates his dad because he wasn't there for him when he was a child and he doesn't know why. In the good timeline he's something of a daddy's boy; he really wants Riddle to be proud of and praise him

After I finish editing the second part of Rook's post you will be pleased to know the next post is about Jamil. I'm still formulating the outline of it because I've been thinking some thoughts about stars and unique magics

The way I write the phantoms they posses the instincts of their former selves but the individual lacks the input you might associate with consciousness. I'll get more into it in the second half of Rook's post... but there is a degree of awareness of their actions.

There's a lot of tragedy in this ayuu, I'm glad I'm hitting my stride with it c: it's nice to know people are liking it

[thewebcomicsreview]

Homestuck 2 has updated! Christmas is ruined!

Previously, on Homestuck 2: Literally nothing happened, and a non-trivial portion of the patreon supporters gave up and quit. Can this update pull a Christmas miracle and right the sinking ship of Homestuck 2? Probably not, but let’s find out! 

We’re back in Candyland, having completely skipped over Karkat and John talking about Dave’s apparent death, because this comic is only interested in long conversations when they’re boring and not about anything at all. That’s alright, I got the gist of it.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

So, it appears to be morning now, meaning that John’s son has been missing in a war zone for almost 24 hours and I guess John literally forgot Harry existed?

Prediction: This conversation is going to end in some variant of “Where is our son?” “Oh shit!”

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid

ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid

ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

What.

So, I went back and checked, and apparently nowhere is it explicitly said that Harry Anderson was also looking for the Vriskas, so I guess he....stayed home? Which makes sense, I suppose, but maybe a “Stay here I’ll go look for them” would’ve helped. I wasn’t the only one who thought Harry was out looking for Vriska too. 

ROXY: sup

ROXY: follow me

ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way

JOHN: haha ok.

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

Is Roxy....horny? Is the solid she’s looking for John’s dick? I mean, that’d make her saying Harry wasn’t available kind of weird, but I think this framing is a fake-out.

...

What the fuck is that lamp, Jesus Christ it’s awful. Just a cat’s asshole, facing the door.

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert

JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding.

JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

Oh hey, it was a fakeout. Good job, Homestuck 2. You successfully implied something just through the art. Art which, by the way, looks a lot better than the last chapter. There are backgrounds and everything. I wonder if Chapter 15 was rushed out due to Hiveswap and that’s why it was so weak?

He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

I’m not the biggest fan of the way the narration is going JOHN IS AFRAID OF SEX WITH ROXY LIKE HE’S A TEENAGE VIRGIN AGAIN (LIKE IN HS1!) AND IT DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IT’LL BE IMPORTANT LATER, but okay, noted.

ROXY: u said ur house is gone??

JOHN: yep.

JOHN: completely.

ROXY: jeez

Heh. I like Roxy, still. 

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

If this comic actually uses the phrase “home” and “stuck” in the same sentence I’m turning this blog around and we’ll go right back to Winnipeg.

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

I feel unqualified to talk about how hard Roxy is pushing the June Egbert thing.

....Is that the fucking portal from Hiveswap under a tarp? Also hi Candy Callie, appearing in HS2 for the first time. One of the Calliope’s is nonbinary, I think, but I honestly can’t remember and I think it’s Meat Calliope? 

JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is?

ROXY: hmmmmmm no

JOHN: oh ok.

JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room.

JOHN: space.

JOHN: wherever we are.

ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now

ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi

ROXY: and by that i mean

ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn

JOHN: right, sorry.

JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain.

ROXY: u catch on fast egbert

Oh thing HS2 has not been great at is that it has a lot of plot mysteries that are supposed to keep us enticed but they don’t really get implanted into the audience’s head (Remember Vrissy mysteriously collapsing that one time? Probably not, she did it off screen and the boys kind of laughed it off). This one’s hard to miss.

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs?

JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done.

ROXY: well no not x actly

ROXY: were in the old meteor

It’s kind of weird how this meteor keeps popping up like this. 

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

This is an unexpected but not unwelcome direction for Callie to have gone.

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes?

Oh, wow, we’re going right there, then. This does seem like a bit of a reaction to complaints HS2 wasn’t shmoovin’ enough, but maybe I’m reading too much into it.

CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole.

JOHN: ok.

A’ight, that got a laugh out of me

JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it!

JOHN: i'm so sorry.

JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ):

I like this conversation a lot. 

ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you

JOHN: listen.

JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given.

Quite a bit, in fact.

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

Roxy and John have a good dynamic. 

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

JOHN: ...right.

John’s phone has very good coverage, since he was able to talk to Terezi in the epilogues, as we’re being subtly reminded of here with that ... before the “right”. I wonder if it still works after alt-Calliope left.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

Okay, so we are now being explicitly told that living in the black hole is fucking with the characters and is part of the reason they make such baffling decisions, like Rose not telling Kanaya about Yiffy, or naming her daughter “Yiffy” in the first place.

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

So, the plan is literally for Vriska to be such a Huge 8itch that the black hole itself gets sick of her and yeets Earth C out of its own event horizon to freedom.

This is actually a great plan. 

And that’s Hamsteak. This definitely feels like a bit of a reaction to complaints about HS2, but hey, I dig it, I guess? Definite improvement over the last chapter.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! I'm a huge fan of your work and deeply enjoying FFS rn, it really shows the love and care you've put into this world and characters and it's an amazing read 🥰🧡

Idk if you've actually answered this question before or if it's a bit too much? So feel free to skip it. Do you have any advice on how to write a therapist and sessions with them? And to go along with that, a therapist&patient relationship that doesn't feel inauthentic but that's a healthy one?

I've had to visit both psychiatrists and psychologists a couple of times along my life, which has almost always been a positive experience to me, but when I get down to business and want to write a character going to therapy, I fall into a bunch of the psychoanalytic clichés US films have hammered us down with, even if I'm not from an Anglophile country!

Thanks a bunch in advance!! Ilu, have a nice start of the year🧡✨

Hiya anon!

I have a few thoughts about writing therapy sessions so I’m just going to put them down in no particular order.

Firstly, I don’t actually think it’s always a good idea to write therapy in stories, and a lot of the time I avoid writing it even when a character is actively seeing a therapist. This is particularly true in The Wind that Cuts the Night where all we see of Alex and his therapist are snippets, and nothing more than that, because therapy sessions would slow down the pacing, focus and value of the story.

Where possible, characters don’t see therapists, but talk to people in a way that is therapeutic, usually with love interests or members of the ensemble cast (Augus and Fenwrel in The Court of Five Thrones, Jack and Eva in The Golden Age that Never Was, Jack and North in From the Darkness We Rise/Into Shadows We Fall, Cullen and Cassandra, Cullen and Bull in Stuck on the Puzzle). All of those characters need therapy, but writing therapy sessions tends to slow down the pace of a fic pretty dramatically, and even I had misgivings about writing Efnisien’s sessions with Dr Gary at first because I’m acutely aware of the fact that:

1. Therapy sessions can be draggy and boring 2. They often take away important emotional realisations from other characters, ruining potential hurt/comfort and character relationship development moments with your actual cast / love interests 3. Fiction is meant to be fiction, not reality. 4. A lot of therapy sessions are actually not that interesting to sit in or write or observe, which is why writers do often find themselves falling into certain cliches while writing them to make them more interesting. Even I cut out huge chunks of sessions to get to the more interesting parts, lol. 5. You can write a character going to therapy without writing the therapy. You can just choose to have the character remember bits and pieces of the session later as it’s relevant to their life. 6. Therapy is different for everyone, and some readers (myself included) don’t enjoy reading it when the therapy is a kind that doesn’t resonate or feel right.

So you really need to ask yourself why you want to write therapy specifically, because a lot of the time it gets boring or - as you point out - falls into cliched territory. Writing a character going to a doctor a lot in detail for regular injections is boring. Writing them thinking about how they have to do this in brief while their love interest is sympathetic to them getting those injections is more interesting. Writing a character suffering from an illness that they need regular injections for, with their love interest comforting them? Interesting.

Falling Falling Stars is a unique fic in that Efnisien has no one before he meets Arden, except for Dr Gary and Gwyn. If you’re writing an FFS style fic, writing therapy sessions might be appropriate. It might be worth really thinking about the kind of fics you want to write, why you want to write therapy, how that will affect your pacing, etc.

If you’re still dead set on writing therapy sessions, then I have some suggestions re: writing more realistic/healthy therapy and how to find that knowledge yourself, and I don’t really know how to shorthand some of it:

1. Get books on therapy that are designed for the therapist. These are often expensive, but sometimes libraries stock them - and university libraries in particular will often have photocopy abilities (or you can just photograph the pages you need) because these books look at how sessions should be structured. Books with case studies are ideal, since they often show dialogue chains between the client and therapist. Books that obviously deal with the mental illnesses you’re planning on writing about are the most ideal.

2. With a view to this, learn about different therapeutic modalities (for example are you trying to write psychology or psychoanalysis or both? Are you writing social work? Are you writing cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, expressive therapies, narrative therapy, transcendental therapy?) Be aware that different modalities have different session structures and learn what they are. Wikipedia is your friend, but your closest friend will be actually acquiring textbooks on the subject. This is a pretty significant financial barrier at times, I’ve been collecting books like this on psychology since like 1997.

3. Learn about your character’s mental instabilities that require them to go to a therapist and then look up the most recommended forms of therapy for your character’s specific issues. Will they suit your character? Why/why not? Will they have a therapist who realises and switches modality if it doesn’t suit? Or will they be lucky and find someone who helps them straight away?

4. All therapy sessions have a structure to them. And therapy often has a narrative arc through the course of therapy over many sessions. They should generally have the attempt at a beginning (greeting / setting up the problem to be discussed), middle (highlighting the source of conflict or inner conflict) and end (helping the client to focus on less stressful things, possible homework assigned, and potentially talking about future work/sessions). Learn this structure. Even if you’re not writing the whole session, you need to know where in the session you’re writing, beginning/middle/end will be different tonally. Structures will be different per therapeutic modality, and a therapist that knows many different modalities (like Dr Gary) will often be using slightly different structures each time depending on the character’s mood/issue.

5. In a healthy therapist/client relationship there will be the ability to discuss boundaries, grievances and the therapist won’t be revealing much about their personal life at all (unless anecdotally it’s super relevant and even then it will be deliberately vague). This is one of those things that will - in many cases - make for more boring sessions on the page, depending on the ‘client.’ For example, if you’re writing someone seeing a therapist for the first time, it might realistically take months or years before they start showing progress or trust. That’s not interesting (there’s a reason ‘therapy fiction’ isn’t a genre), so of course it’s tempting to shortcut into more dramatic moments.

*

I would say if you’re finding yourself leaning towards more cliched or dramatic forms of writing re: therapy, your writing brain may sense that the entire scene/s may not be suited to the story, and is trying to find a way to make them more interesting to yourself and the reader. If that’s not the case, then a lot more research is needed! It’s time to sink many hours into actually understanding what you’re trying to write. This doesn’t matter as much if you’re writing unrealistic or unhealthy therapy, but it’s 100% necessary when you’re trying to write healthier therapy depictions.***

Also a couple of sessions of experience is a start, but you might want to watch or find a way to watch more therapy sessions, because you’ve missed out on experiencing longer arcs, different modalities etc. (This is where my hands on experience with 19 therapists since 1995 is actually really helpful, lmao - I’ve had close to like 800~ sessions by now, with good and bad therapists; I cannot pretend that hasn’t given me a knowledge base that most people don’t share). You can still learn that stuff via research, MedCircle on Youtube is a good place to start, since it offers 30 minute snapshots on what CBT and DBT sessions will look like etc. and has some great playlists.

Most fics I’ve read don’t do a great job of depicting therapy, but the Babes!verse series by @rynfinity has probably some of the most realistic and still really interesting sessions I’ve read as an ongoing arc. The series is long, because it needs to be re: what it’s dealing with, but it’s great, and I definitely recommend looking at another example of how an author tackles these sorts of scenes. Out of the Mouths of Babes / The March of the Damned are the two intertwined series.

I apologise if this sounds discouraging overall, or daunting, but I just want to stress there’s a reason that I’m often not writing therapy in my writing, as anything more than the occasional scene with a non-therapist, or snapshots that are reflected on and that’s it. Falling Falling Stars is the exception to the rule, and unless you’re writing an exception to the rule as well, it’s really worth reflecting on the first six points I wrote - it’ll save you a fuckton of time and research. And if you go ahead with it, I wish you well! :D

*** Also disclaimer: But I still am writing very indulgent therapy that is not beholden to being either a 100% healthy or 100% realistic depiction. The fact is, real therapy sessions are pretty boring for observers except for maybe ten or twenty minutes in the middle at times.

(ETA: It’s just occurred to me that therapy fiction does exist, esp. in the mass media, but that it is - afaik - all unrealistic, dramatised or unhealthy. But if you want to watch a great show - I highly recommend In Treatment with Gabriel Byrne, just by aware that it is depicting, for the most part, unhealthy dynamics which are more character studies than anything).

[gayregis]

Ok here’s another “talk about the Witcher” prompt for you—bonhart. What are your thoughts, other than the fact that he is absolutely vile and evil (cuz obvs)? I think he was a Witcher originally. I think he makes a really good contrast against geralt, and sort of acts as a warning to ciri for what evil her raw skills could be used for. I was really satisfied by how she was finally able to face him and kill him completely alone. BUT I think that the sudden r*pe bits in LotL are unnecessary!

i think bonhart was a necessary evil as he adds so much of the darker themes to the latter half of the witcher saga, as in that blood of elves, time of contempt, and baptism of fire were still kind of lighthearted despite that there was a lot of going down in them. vilgefortz didn’t cut it for me to function as the only villain, just because he’s quite anime-esque in the fact that i think he would anime-laugh to geralt and then explain his super long evil plan to him and be like so what do you think :) im so evil :) ... like, bonhart isn’t a villain, he’s something even worse, he doesn’t find any pleasure in dramatic speeches or flourish, he finds pleasure in sincerely hurting people and watching them in pain. he’s absolutely vile and revolting, and just the most horrible character you could possibly concieve of. vilgefortz is one of the many parties (the lodge of sorceresses, nilfgaard, the aen elle) trying to hunt ciri down for her power, but bonhart hunts down ciri not only for the bounty but just because he wants to hurt her. i’m not really certain if there’s a deeper meaning to this character other than the representation of pure trauma, which has grasped ciri after she has been abandoned by everyone she’s ever known and loved. (and/or a warning of what she could become, as you said and i talk about a little later). i feel like a lot of people want the witcher books but only if they were without bonhart, without stygga, without rivia. and that’s an opinion people can have but i feel some of the utter suffering was put there for a reason... but it did get excessive.

especially the r*pe scenes. in my opinion, r*pe scenes are completely unnecessary... the only scene i think was "passable” was when yennefer stabbed bonhart with a fork, because i really was wanting bonhart to just get stabbed and choke. but i think this scene is also just plain gross still because of how much sapkowski tends to ... describe yennefer as beautiful and like this woman of pure beauty and sexiness despite her cold exterior, and i can’t help but feel it was just indulgent of sapkowski wanting to write yennefer in some kind of “sexual” situation (in quotes, b/c r*pe is not sex). it was pretty useless as a scene because we already know that bonhart is evil and that yennefer is a fighting spirit, so i highly question why it needed to be put in there.

i think a lot of how bonhart treats ciri is just torture p*rn and it just goes completely overboard, like, WE GET IT, HE’S EVIL! but i have to admit that it IS a fantasy series for adults so it’s not like i can say it’s inappropriate. it is also a book series, so you have the option to skip if it’s really unbearable (like it was for me. i basically skimmed all of that violence because i do not need to be absorbing that). i just feel like there are a bunch of sickos out there who would not see ciri’s treatment as such a bad thing, and that’s really why i’m wary of the scenes, like i KNOW there are people out there who WANT to see a teenage girl be abused, and that turns my stomach more than the actual writing does. but sapkowski at least treated it appropriately, as the vile and horrific treatment(s) they are, and didn’t romanticize anything like some authors might.

as a character, i think bonhart is exactly how you describe him, as a contrast to geralt, and also as a contrast to ciri. ciri was using her power for evil, and bonhart serves as this exaggerated caricature of what she could become if she continues on her current path. i say “exaggerated” for a reason, i think bonhart is absolutely an extreme that ciri may not ever really be able to become, but it’s a warning of the possibilities of power and using violence as power. 

also, bonhart serves as a contrast to geralt because he is absolute sadism and lawlessness, and geralt is pacifist in nature (even though he was born into the life of violence) and creates his OWN code to abide by, even when there is no real “witcher code,” because he just feels like it. geralt gives ciri a sword but instructs her not to kill blindly with it, bonhart gives ciri a sword just so she can be forced to kill others. 

the way i see it, geralt and ciri both learned from each other, and they were both wrong about a very specific thing. geralt was wrong about being indifferent and choosing indifference (as he says in time of contempt, and then develops to forge a fiery path to go find his daughter). ciri was wrong about using violence to right wrongs and letting revenge consume her spirit (which she learns through meeting bonhart, and then refines herself to focus her revenge on the sadistic man). as i always view geralt and ciri as not only characters, but larger, more universal symbols of parent and child, i think these two things that they were wrong about really play off of each other as a contrast between old and young, or parent and child. i feel like abiding by indifference plagues the older generation because it feels like a reward for already fighting so many battles, and seeking unrestrained revenge plagues the younger generation because they have not learned yet that it will consume all and bear no fruit.

also p.s.: i wish people would talk more about the theory that bonhart was a witcher originally. i think it holds a lot of weight, because his fighting was pretty much unparalleled, and even cahir who is a really good swordsman, fell to him. it stands then that bonhart has something unique about his fighting style that only another witcher (ciri) could defeat (and cahir also fell to ciri in toc, so it suggests that bonhart and ciri fight in similar ways?). (i know some people wanted geralt to fight bonhart, but i feel like that would have been out of place, as he is ciri’s tormentor and when she killed him that was sooo satisfying. vilgefortz was definitely geralt’s fight anyways, because of how vilgefortz wanted to use ciri and geralt is sworn by being her father to protect her.) but yeah i wonder wtf bonhart’s backstory is. i get he’s supposed to kind of come out of nowhere as a super evil guy, but i feel like he trained with witchers before or something... like he was training and then escaped before he could take the mutations, because he had already learned to kill and gotten a taste for it, drawn to violence after he was introduced to it. 

[wickymicky]

a lot of bg songs are really cool, but like, don’t really grab my attention. maybe the group will join my list of groups that i “like”... but i’m not like dying to play it on repeat and learn more about the group, really. there’s a lot of gg songs and groups like this too, this isn’t unique to bgs, i’m just checking out a bunch of bgs right now so that’s what’s on my mind. like, maybe a song has a cool instrumental and is a “banger” or whatever that makes me like nod my head and bob a little in my seat, but idk... maybe my standards are too high, but i’m really looking to be blown away here, i want something that’ll make me go “WHAT? NO WAY, THIS IS FANTASTIC” lmao. it’s nice to add more groups to the always-expanding list of groups that i would say “oh yeah they’re good” about, but i want to add another group to my “favorite group” list haha. i haven’t really come across another one of those yet. 

listening to stray kids double knot a couple times now... yeah, it’s a cool song, it’s a banger, but i’m not getting a super strong sense of personality, i’m not really hooked just from one listen. and that’s fine, maybe they’re one that’s supposed to grow on you, maybe their other songs will help that (ive probably heard a couple, but i dont remember rn), but again... i’m being selfish and setting my standards too high right now haha, i’m looking to be blown away and it isn’t really doing that for me. if you love the group and hope that i will like them too, that’s still a possibility of course, i like tons of groups that arent in my 7 or 8 favorites lol. so we’ll see, but i’m not really sold yet.

ateez wonderland definitely captures my attention with the instrumental right from the beginning, and i remember thinking the same thing about their other songs (though i dont really remember specifics). but like i said in another post, i guess i just am left wanting a little bit more than they give? they have some wild elements to their sound and concept and i wish they were a little wilder and a little less serious, i dont just want something epic from them, i want something ridiculous lmao. less serious, more over-the-top. they have a lot of potential though. i don’t think they’ll be one of my favorite groups (though if i change my mind in a couple months or whatever, i won’t be that surprised), but they have the potential to be like just outside that? idk, i feel like i’m waiting for a comeback that’ll really be everything i wanted lmao. i should revisit their previous ones though. they’ve had a bunch this year right? jeez...

oneus lit is the recent bg comeback that gives me the strongest sense of personality haha. idk why its called lit and not just “lets go” since thats what the korean title means, but whatever lmao. i really like the traditional instrumentation in the song, and i like the overall energy of the song. i don’t really have as much to say here, since most of what i said for the other two was light criticism, and i don’t have as much of that for this one. yeah idk, this is the one that makes me the most interested in the group, it definitely has the most character to it, i think. i’m interested. however, i can’t really explain why, but i’m not sure how i’ll feel about the group overall, even though i think i like this song. maybe it’s just cause this obviously is a kind of concept-heavy sound and they might not always sound that way, so it’s hard to know if i’ll feel the same about other songs, or if this will be just one of those groups where i like one song and not really any of the others. it’s possible. 

anyway lmao like... i like to check out new releases even if i dont listen to the groups, i’m always down to find new stuff to like. i dont check out bgs as often, but i do now and then. and like, all of this just really puts into perspective how glad i am that pentagon exists hahaha. i heard humph the day it came out or a couple days after, i dont remember, and i didnt return to it for a while but i remember feeling like i liked it. i didnt wanna like it though lmao, because i didnt listen to any bg at the time, though eventually i fell for pentagon cause a friend of mine was really getting into them and they got me into them too haha. idk what my hangup with bgs was, i just generally prefer ggs for a lot of reasons i suppose haha, but now that i’m over all that, it makes me miss having a song as good as humph to discover. is there another bg that’ll have a song like that, overflowing with that much personality and uniqueness, that i just havent heard yet? i mean, i hope so, but im not sure lol. i wanna be thoroughly charmed lmao. 

[inexchangeforyoursoul]

FINALLY birthed this thing. I’m officially a disaster with writing anything that involves conflict. Just like irl. :”) Anyway, yeah, there were 3 reasons why I did not finish this immediately about a month ago.

Első: See above.

Második: I had no idea what I wanted the last drop for Hawks to be before writing the rest in advance anyway, whoopsie~

Harmadik: I was.... reeeeeally not sure whether I want to publish this during pride month, seeing as I’m cis, and what kind of shit I put in this. (..... ok I’ve been thinking about this, and somebody just tell me if I’m plain projecting shit here. I might as well. Like, I always am, but it has usually got to do with characters being heavily #relatable in some way in strictly canon, which goes for everyone I write scenarios for. But now I’m thinking about whether there is something more to this, bc me headcanoning Shiggy as genderfluid and starting that shitty LawxOC body swap fic came around the same time two years ago, and now here’s Hawks, too. I’m onto you, me. I’m so onto me...)

Anyway... if you want the usual fluff, you might wanna sit this one out. (There’s some of it, but beware of everything else... it got p long (~6.5k), too, so you might wanna read it on a proper platform for txt: AO3 )

Big, BIG thanks @cutiesableye @acidmatze @waxwingedhawks and @mistystarshine for basically proofreading it and slapping a big green GO into my nervous face. Or being at it rn; regardless, I am thankful. Sssh, only dreams now.

I hope y’all be as uncomfortable reading the meat of this as I was writing it, whoops.

For how much he's surrounded by people normally -which he enjoys most of the time, really- Hawks prefers the silent rooftop right now. It shouldn't be anything out of the ordinary, he'd need a lot more alone time in the first place… but he's supposed to be working right now. Be in the thick of this spying shit, collecting intel from social and environmental clues like nobody's business.

Returning to the room is not something he wants right now, though. The topic and the awkward atmosphere it brought are weighing on him, and he'd rather get over this before moving on with the sleuthing business. He's been perching over the weed-ridden parking lot for like half an hour already, though. Judging by what he can pick up, the League is back to their time killing activities, and not very concerned about his absence. He noticed Spinner checking on him some time back from the doorway, and that's what it was. He's low-key grateful that they would let him breathe instead of poking around some more, or tailing him. If it's something he's allowed to do all the time, it'll be a luxury he's plain going to cherish for as long as it lasts.

Another plus is… that his reasons to join have become more than just believable. Even if this bit of information was not something he wanted to share. Like, at all. Ever. It was perhaps naive to think nobody will ever find out in the first place, that it would stay a secret of the select few who trained and took care of him. But the ones aware of it now being the members of Japan's most infamous terrorist organization… is not reassuring. 

Still… they are letting him be alone. It's… nice. Being seen as a person. It also hurts, though.

His feathers catch onto the vibrations of someone coming up the staircase again. The echoes tell of familiar size, weight and shapes… he knows who it will be. Being a wild card, he's probably coming on his own volition. The plastic smile is already in place, even though it has never worked on the guy- this was nice while it lasted.

The metal door opens with a lazy creak, then there's a soft thud, followed by slacking steps that stop right behind him. Dabi takes a swig from the beer can in his hand before speaking. "So… Peacock and Starling, huh."

"What about them, bacon face?" It's a funny feeling to hear someone say those… names, technically. It's equally funny to think that one of those is what he'd be known as if things go a little more his way. Even considered the title Phoenix for a moment, but that was too pretentious even for him, not to mention ill-fitting past being made of reds and yellows. As for the flashy Peacock… it's easy to see why the blatant joke got rejected off the bat. He'd look sick in iridescent blues and greens for sure, but that's all the reason he ever had to consider it. Those colors didn’t fit his basically pre-established brand… and nowadays he'd rather be invisible than catch even more eyes, anyway. And there's the almost, almost final Red Starling, which had the prototype of his current hero costume and everything…

He wanted to avoid predatory birds when given the task to choose a hero name, blatant secondary traits notwithstanding. They were beautiful creatures, yes… but hardly something reassuring and safe, killing for a living, full of pointy bits. Someone else probably wouldn't have batted an eye and had gone for the intimidation factor, but it was simply not what he had in mind.

A hawk… is a borderline case. It's among the smaller species and underwent some form of domestication, after all. They are not ideal for being kept as mere pets, though; they serve a purpose, instead.

They are used.

Used to hunt for sport or pest control, as he usually does. As he's supposed to right now.

So 'Hawks' was an afterthought, invoking the image of speed and danger. Which they insisted on, especially after… that. Smuggling the S at the end on the form was a last passive-aggressive jab after getting the okay, before letting go of who he used to, or wanted to be. It was fascinating to see the big shots make peace with it almost immediately, and regarding it as an improvement, even; 'makes it easier to associate with a swarm of feathers,' and 'more unique and identifiable,' they said. As if the original idea didn't accomplish both. It really was just… fascinating. The rest of these names, he banished to the stuffiest, darkest corners of his mind, as there were few good things, and even less pleasant memories attached to them. Until… today.

What has happened was simple and logical- the idea whether he'd choose another alias for underground activities came up. Mentioning them in the first place was an enormous mistake… and entertaining either as a viable option was even more so. Disturbing those relics reminded him of those buried memories and feelings, and all he can think of right now is the way Himiko's words rang in his ears barely half an hour ago.

Today, your smell reminds me of Big Sister.

Dabi lets out a sigh before getting to the meat of it. He spent the time Hawks had been gone on thinking himself, and there's a lot to unpack here. So he ought to take it step by step, lest he gets lost in the details. “Let me… get this story of yours straight."

… Great. This is exactly what he needs.

"It starts with… dirty, piss-poor little you getting caught up in a car accident and single handedly resolving it, right? Then, for doing something nice and selfless like that… you got sold off like a slab of fucking meat to the government.”

He blinks. "Hmm… not the most revolutionary take on it. I know you can do better." Claiming that the thought has never crossed his mind would be a lie. He just never let himself dwell on it. But now, this idiot is making him do exactly that. Or is trying to, at the very least. It certainly seems to be one of those convos. This… is turning out to be a major pain in the ass right away. Maybe he should reconsider provoking him this time around, it could backfire big time in the current mood of his.

“It is what happened, though, wasn’t it?” Dabi continues, slipping down to sit next to him, one leg dangling over the edge. “And once your apparently sub-par parents raked in the easy money, and washed their hands of you… you got stripped of everything.”

"Bold of you to assume that I had much to lose, bro. If you know about the accident, you also know where they picked me up from." Putting up a front aside, there was a rough edge to that 'everything' that makes Hawks want to run for the hills immediately. Nope, he is positively not in the mood for antagonistic banter at the moment. He wasn't really able to hide his upset and embarrassment over the situation, so Dabi must have found some twisted sense of enjoyment in pestering him about this specifically. Why can't this asshole just… shut up for once. He thought the villain incapable of it, but he does it so damn well with others around. Sticking with the lot might be a good idea, because solo Dabi is worse. He… he better filter out all the babbling before he starts thinking about bad shit or worse. It’s been a while since he had to take such measures, but he'll have to lull himself into a coma, and just… shut up. Inside out. And hope that Dabi gets bored of him.

“Doesn't change the point, does it, now. They started with any meaningful human contact you may have had… until they erased every last ounce of self," Comes the continuation while Hawks tries to block it out; "They denied you time, likes, attention, possibly even your basic fucking needs while moulding you into a perfect little cleanup machine that fears no death. Then tossed your dried-up skeleton into a roomy cage, filled with expensive junk to fill the void, as a semblance of compensation. Well thanks for fucking nothing, you sick fucks."

Hawks' eyes have locked onto a sunbathing lizard in the distance, but the idle animal is not quite enough of a distraction and his fingers twitch with the tightening grip over the wall's edge. Why does it sound as if Dabi was taking his side?

Shut up… don't pay attention.

He winces when Dabi pulls on the collar of his tracksuit to take a disgusted look at the label. "All the shit you wear was gifted from companies you played dress-up doll for, wasn't it… one fantastic billboard, you are. You own literally nothing else, do you? I'm sure that's the case, because, funny story… a newbie classmate of mine, some dump kid whose parents became new money, had always obscene amounts of cash on him…  but after an initial shopping spree, he never could bring himself to buy a fucking thing. So we asked him about it. Turns out he simply felt like utter shit for spending any of it unless he had a good reason. I laughed then, but apparently, getting a bag of chips is a gargantuan issue for most people who grew up in poverty." 

He leans closer, low words dripping like liquid venom in Hawks' ear. "You, too, feel like garbage every time you spend an ounce of money on something you can do without, don't you? Reminding yourself that there are dozens of that thing at home, lying untouched in your wardrobe that's the size of some families' entire house. Pray-tell Hawks, how many times did you sit over a full basket of online goods… the stuff of your dreams, probably some basic ass shit... only to back out at the last second, hmm?"

Shut up.

Dabi's eyes slide to the tense hands possibly attempting to tear the crumbling edge off the worn wall. A second later, he distances himself again, stirring the can with lazy, circular motions. "I don't even want to imagine what it feels like. Never spent a fucking dime on anything but charities, I fancy. And the odd bottle of booze, fuck or junk food… Are those chicken bits the only thing you're allowed to get? Tch.” 

“What a fucking luxury, being allowed to treat yourself to a bucket every other week, when your disgusting training diet has been set in stone three months in advance." It sounds like a personal addendum, but not a single word in that sentence escapes the overbearing sarcasm and condescension.

A still ticking cogwheel in the hero's head wonders why Dabi knows of the standard diet thing he has to undergo at least twice a year being three months long, and how he could possibly know that he's come to hate half of the dishes over the years. The overwhelming majority of said cogs have long come to a halt, however, screeching SHUT UP. He's not sure who or what that message is directed to anymore. Probably both of them.

Dabi’s waltzing wrist comes to a halt, soon followed by the whirling liquid in the can; it's a minute break, the kind that's just enough to make conversations awkward. In fact, the silence is too big for Hawks to handle- there’s no white noise to drown out and it makes not thinking, not paying attention unbearably hard. The lizard disappears under the cracked asphalt, leaving him with nothing.

“With how long it took you to respond to Shigaraki, they also stripped you of your name. And what I got from the exchange with Toga… is that the same goes for your body, too.”

A shiver runs down Hawks’ back and wings over the addition, kicking the machine brain back in full order despite his best efforts. Dabi takes a big swig of beer and lets out a sigh, resulting in another ill-placed pause. It gives Hawks time to think, goddammit, and he thinks too fast, too hard, about everything.

“While you were moping up here, I've come to realize why you always seem to be so hilariously desperate to one-up me in any given way… it’s because you actually are grasping for straws. You have no control whatsoever, over anything. None." There’s a somber undertone to his voice. The can, along with the remaining sloshes of beer, are flung down to the concrete wasteland and land with a sad, high pitched clank. "My sister used to be like this… people like you don’t dare to ask why things happen. You will believe you’d done something wrong to deserve it all… maybe see yourselves as a necessary sacrifice. Did they ask you to be a martyr, or did you decide so yourself, bird brain? Not that it matters… because that’s exactly what your bosses want and they'd keep on twisting your arms until they get there… but I bet they did. They didn't ask whether you actually wanted it, though… or ask anyone else, about anything, for that matter." 

He reaches over Hawks' vaguely trembling shoulders for the jaw, forcing his face out of hiding. The grip turns gentler as the man's head turns in his general direction, though he's refusing to make eye contact. Dabi keeps him there like that for a while, dissecting him with icy, blue scalpels.

"Gentle like a dove… you'd have flipped the fuck out and been talking shit ever since I opened my mouth any other day. Is this the defense mechanism you developed for these situations?" There's some twitches to the corner of the mouth, but the other remains unresponsive. Heaving another, mildly annoyed sigh, he pries the hero off the crumbling wall with a disgruntled huff and turns to face him. Once there’s some space to work with, he tilts the head in his grasp to the left, to the right… no resistance. "To see you like this is creepy as all hell, birdie… do you even register what I'm saying anymore? Or is ignoring me the goal? Hmm?" 

He scoffs at the glazed eyes, then shakes his head. "I'd imagine you met some pigs high up on the food chain soon after the stunt… those monsters can do anything they want. Then buy silence from pocket change." He starts caressing the other's face as the trembling turns more and more into shaking. "Isolated, innocent eye candy kid at their mercy…… I can only imagine what they’d do to a sweet little plaything like you."

A visceral reaction makes Hawks' stomach convulse, threatening to empty itself, and the muscles in the rest of his body follow suit. Unwanted scraps of memories, all the blurred scenes, images and feelings he didn't quite manage to erase flare up in his mind. And even though his entire being is revolting against being reminded of hugs that felt off by a mere margin, of touches that were always, always distinctively soft and slimy, and things sometimes even worse, and much worse…  the sole thing that betrays his near perfect neutral expression is a pair of clenched jaws. What concerns him even more than any of this, however, is the fact that his tear ducts have been burning up for some unknown time, and...

… too late. There’s already a droplet of water sitting on the thumb Dabi lifted up a second ago.

The tear gets reduced to nothing between the pensive swipe of two fingers as he lets go of him. “Thought so…”

A sliver… a handful of cells, some unidentifiable part of Hawks is thankful that Dabi doesn’t elaborate on what he’s thinking right now, glaring somewhere distant both past the hero and his own damp hand.

The villain's eyes come back into focus soon enough. There's still… one more thing. "Then you started to grow… and they decided to focus on function over form, since your baby face would be just as marketable with a scruff. Becoming popular and following a strict schedule makes it near impossible for creeps to do as they please, with all the watchful eyes dissecting your every move… so you live on a leash instead. An accessory to show off to guests… and still shiny, new weapon to flashily beat up people with." He cocks his head. "And you loathe mindless violence."

On one hand comes the relief that the previous topic has been dropped as unceremoniously as possible, and he gets a moment to breathe and stop shaking like a leaf. On the other…

They are used. Used to hunt pests…

Having less than no time for himself, the daily drill of regular heroing and the overwhelming amount of paperwork the job comes with are things he can deal or cope with… It’s fighting, hurting and confronting other people he loathes the most, even if he'll ram heads with the bigger fish to ensure a more stable framework for everyone to live in. For… others to live in.

Forcing himself into a group of known murderers and the deception this comes with is just the icing on the rotten cake. God, all these fucking lies, he cannot look into the mirror anymore for being overcome with sheer disgust. And now he's stuck with it until the source of all Noumu can be located, too. Why can’t things be like a shitty cops and robbers chase and, just… easy? Simple? Is it really that much to ask for?

But what makes it unnerving is to know that Dabi’s right, always fucking right. About people, what a living nightmare being a hero is once one looks past the glitter covers, and pretty much everything else. But most importantly, he's right about him. He hates being predictable at all, not to mention being read with confidence, and right now he feels as naked as an open book with covers ripped clean off.

He can feel more tears break free, and his fingers scrape over the rough concrete, letting the bumps and glass shards cut a fingertip or two open. It's frustrating. Every single time they happen to make contact… Dabi either makes a good point or manages to get the upper hand in the most inane, little ways, and it’s so… frustrating.

He can’t keep bottling it all up forever, but what is he supposed to do about these feelings?

“What I'm not sure about… is what exactly they are thinking this time.” There’s a thoughtful pause before the continuation; every last tendon in the blonde’s body tenses up. “Are they actually this desperate to get us for good… or is it you they want to get rid of that bad?” 

For a moment that seems like an eternity, Hawks feels… absolutely nothing. Nothing but the piercing glare of the very sky above them, staring straight through the villain's eyes. “Psycho girl is right… you really have no idea how to say no.”

Why now… Hawks can't tell. But hearing the same shit he's thinking about for the millionth time makes something crack. Click. Snap. And next thing he knows, he’s already tackled Dabi to the ground and is clenching his fists into his coat; the man himself doesn’t look too surprised over the turn of events, which drives him even madder.

“Every,” his voice shakes with bubbling anger and is lower and gravelier than his normal, but it will do. Hawks pulls on the leather hard enough to lift the other before slamming him back onto the grey concrete--- “Every” --- over--- “single” --- and over--- “aspect” --- and over, “of you,” and over, “drives me up… the fucking wall,” and over… “any time you open your godforsaken MOUTH,” this time, he goes a little over the top, as the big yank is followed by a pointed knock upon Dabi’s head meeting the ground and his lungs flatten under the pressure of fists, but Hawks is not in the mindset to give a flying fuck about the minor inconveniences of the villain at the moment. Fucker has dug this grave himself, so he better lie in it. "how the everloving fuck... How…! How can you possibly know me more than I do?! TELL ME!!” He asks with an ever growing voice that borders screaming by now, all while shaking the man relentlessly.

He's about to pull and slam him down again when Dabi's hands grab onto his arms just below the wrist. Maybe it's that he did not expect it, but the grip definitely stings a little. As fragile as Dabi is, he thought those scrawny arms less powerful, but apparently what does he know? Still angry, he tears one hand free while shooting a glare at the villain.

There's a trail of blood flowing down his cheek around where Hawks' fist rubbed against at the time of the yank. Dabi blinks once, leaving his left eye with an odd pink texture as his lid smears the leaking red fluid all over it. Not too surprisingly, his face remains as unreadable as a mannequin's, and eyes as cold as that of a taxidermy specimen. Hawks hates looking at him when they are like this, which is most of the time. "Careful, little bird… you're tearing at the seams. Don't want to end up like this, do you?”

That calm voice works like just another taunt, making the hero want to beat him to a pulp, or at the very least, continue where he's just left off with flattening him into the concrete. At the same time… hesitation wedges his joints to a halt. No… No, he doesn’t want to end up ‘like this,’ whatever it may have been to drive Dabi into burning himself alive on a daily basis.

And he notices. Of course he does. Hawks could swear to see his lips curve, but it may just be the angle.

“Fucked-up kids know how to read others pretty well, don’t you think?”

Hawks’ still short breath hitches and he freezes upon feeling a hand, the very same he just shook off, slide over his hips, ice cold on his heated skin even through the fabric of a t-shirt. There's no real intent behind it; in fact, it feels like a doctor's indifferent, calculated touch. Somehow, that makes it even worse. "… didn't even have the decency to start stuffing you with testosterone from the get-go, huh?" 

Another statement that sounds more like a personal note than anything else, and it makes Hawks’ skin crawl.

“Well I can’t read you for shit! Congratulations!!!” He barks, slapping the intrusive limb away. “For starters, what was this supposed to be about, hell, why the fuck did you even come up here?! Just to gloat about it into my face? Or do you want to make fun of me for not being able to decide whether I’d rather be a cheeky bitch or the insufferable prick I am today?!” 

There’s tears streaming down his face again, but he couldn’t care less. It hurts like all hell… especially remembering full well how fucking much waking up from what was supposed to be nothing more than an open break surgery hurt- there was near nothing to remove, for fuck's sake. But claiming not to enjoy at least some aspects of what being a man brought would be just more lies on the throne built on them.

Mentioning his interest in IT and mechanics to strangers is not criticised or made fun of, not anymore. Neither is his tendency to run ahead of others in pretty much every situation. Instead of second guessing, people default to respecting and listening to what he says on any given topic in general, and he stopped doubting himself, too. The circumstances were a special kind of fucked-up for sure… but he also ended up having fewer weak spots than almost everyone else, which did come handy a couple of times. The hormones he received made him taller than he ever could have grown realistically, too. And rejecting fans is easier as most women- and most of them are women,- know basic fucking etiquette.

But he also wants cheesy tees with cats and birds and flowers that he never gets to sponsor. Cuter shoes that are still comfy. Some eyeshadow every now and then. Wear the prettiest blues and greens, and maybe… maybe a nice dress.

"… You are pissed for the same reason I am.”

By the time Hawks has processed the sentence, he is the one being pressed into the roof, with one wing stuck awkwardly underneath him. For a dreadful moment he breaks into cold sweat, because this also means that Dabi is between his legs, and--- fuck, this is the last fucking position he wants to find himself in, especially right fucking now. He doesn’t get to break out in panic, however, because the villain is busy strangling him against the lukewarm ground. It’s his turn to grab onto the other’s arms as he wheezes for some air. He needs to calm the fuck down somehow, otherwise he won’t be able to use his feathers---

“Looking at you… is like staring at a distorted mirror image at fucking funland.” Hawks cracks his eyes open, seeing Dabi stare right back at him. It's as if someone put goddamn transparency over the villain to make the blinding blue behind him visible. He’d blame cold eyes in general, but he doesn’t find Twice’s even lighter ones nearly this creepy when Dabi’s like this. His burn with intensity rivaling All Might and Endeavor, which have always made him uneasy.

“What a nice pair of custom-made patchwork monstrosities we are…” His voice delves into a hiss as the grip tightens over the hero’s neck. “… makes me sick to my stomach."

Hawks coughs under the weight on his throat. He manages to get some air in and think clearly enough to turn back to logical thinking; if Dabi wanted to go for the kill, he’d be toast by now. Motherfucker is just toying with him for the hell of it, isn’t he? He flexes his wings against the rough concrete and flips the two of them back over to where they started.

“Would you stop playing games, you *cough* sick fuck?!” he wheezes, all out of breath.

"Maybe you’re the one who should stop dicking around, bird brain!"

His next protest gets cut short when Dabi headbutts him in the temples. It feels half-hearted, but gets him to shut up for a moment nonetheless, which is all that the other needs.

"The fuck did you scrape us up from the floor for, HUH?! You had ONE JOB, and you could have been done with it just like that… but instead...!! INSTEAD you played nurse and started to GET ALL COMFORTABLE AND SHIT!” The villain’s voice is basically rolling like thunder over the forsaken plot.

Hawks’ angry and pained grimace twitches under his hand- he’s seen Dabi smug, and aloof, and crazed, but not… angry. Not to mention angry with him, specifically. And, once again, it’s one of those little, irritating, miniscule things that are… true. He didn’t get an order to stick around and follow the lead to the Noumu until like a week later, so it was all unnecessary and ended up being even more work and trouble than it was worth.

He didn’t have to help when he found all of them dying, bleeding and broken.

He also didn’t have to start talking to Compress and Twice and Giran, then all the rest as they warmed up to him and came to.

He wasn’t supposed to lie about their initial status, he didn’t have to keep covering for them after they were all walking and doing all right, after the decent person in him had already been satisfied.

And he definitely never meant to get… attached.

A pull on his tracksuit wakes him from the shock, just as Dabi continues screaming at him head-on. “And YET, there still isn't anything YOU want from us?! REALLY?!! Do you want to be a puppet for the rest of your life, idiot?!"

Well… Hawks had been called names before. He never thought that being called a ‘puppet’ would offend him this much, but that... that certainly just did it.

“NO, I DON’T!” He screams back at him, voice swaying all over the place.

"CAN'T HEAR YOU, BITCH!!"

"I SAID I DON'T WANT 'o!!” Whatever air's still in Hawks' lungs gets stuck inside as a wave of what’s probably fear washes over him upon hearing his own, distorted voice crack and echo in the empty parking lot. Realizing just how much he's straining his voice, a sudden knot manifests in his stomach that folds his rage into a small, jittery, awkward package.

“Ah… I,” It takes so much effort to squeeze out a single thing, what--- why is he embarrassed? “I don’t---”

The next word gets stuck somewhere between his thoughts and throat when the same cold hand from before leaves a little pat on his head.

"See? Wasn't that fucking hard, was it now." It combs Hawks' hair back, staples getting stuck here and there on the fragile strands. There’s nothing methodical about it this time; the entire gesture is just… gentle. "Good job, chicken."

Just like that… all that rage, despair and helplessness, along with the last confusing bundle of emotions, evaporates out of the blue, leaving Hawks empty and tired, somewhat nervous, and maybe a little… relieved. It takes him a bit to be able to think of anything at all, god knows how much time passes while he blinks blankly in front of him. It takes a rugged sigh from Dabi underneath him to phase back into reality; the scarred hand has long disappeared, and is tucked behind the villain’s head along with the other as he’s gazing at the passing clouds. The first coherent thought that crosses Hawks’ head is a fully formed fact- what kind, and with what purpose, he doesn't know or begin to understand… but this was… a test, or rather, a lecture.

A very… very crudely executed lecture.

Hawks sniffs with a stuffy nose. Fucking… fucking fucker. “… you are an asshole through and though, aren’t you?” And now he’s hoarse, too. Wonderful.

There’s a shrug… well, as much of a shrug it can be from someone in Dabi’s position. “I don’t believe it’s ever been up for debate.”

He sounds so smug, it's just so… ugh. The hero squishes his face with a palm in frustration before crawling off him at last. The annoyed grunt in response is all he needs right now. "Are you done being a nuisance, or do you wanna egg me on some more?"

There's a rare chuckle. "Already making bird puns…? Nah, little bird. Getting hell-and-back pissed is exhausting as fuck. You won't be any more fun today." 

With that, Dabi scrambles onto his elbows, then sits back up. He gives a quick massage to his previously flattened nose before rubbing the back of his head; there’s a number of fully formed lumps already. Feathers isn’t very gentle when riled up… at least the spot’s not bleeding. He'll need to put some painkillers to work, though. "Still… the manic look suits you well. I'm getting giddy just thinking about your bosses' reactions upon seeing you like that." In a move that is more or less successful, he licks a finger to rub the trail of rust off his cheek.

Hawks wrinkles his nose upon seeing a rather genuine looking smile on the other’s face. “Please. Noone in their right mind is in my face like you are all the damn time… at least not with the intent of driving me batshit only to make me murder them. You’re a freak case and should not be accounted for.” He sighs, resting his head on an arm- there really is no willpower left in him to do anything for the rest of the day. There better be no trouble on his late evening patrol, or so help him. Or help it, because there's no guarantee he won't snap back to this awkward beat-to-a-pulp mode if confronted with a no-name villain.

After some fidgeting, Dabi produces something from a pocket… something that looks very suspiciously like a worn blunt. “It’s because they don’t have to, dumbass… you are edging towards a nervous breakdown at any given time. Anyway, look… you are no doubt seen as an invaluable asset… but are worth so much more still. Give yourself some credit." Hawks peers back at him just as the conspicuous thing is lit over a wrist which gets shaken after, much like one would put out a match. There’s a tentative draw, followed by another. 

“What I want to say is… they are terrified of you, birdie. If not for the danger of exposing their disgusting practices, it's because they fear that their blue ribbon pet won't return from a hunt… for one reason or another. And, just for the record,” He breathes, offering the roll to him; “I'll gladly hold you back for a good scare."

Following a vacant stare and a blink, he takes it. It’s not as if this quite tolerable, for-the-hell-of-it mood of Dabi’s was new, but… he was seriously considering to strangle the guy a minute ago. When exactly did they return to casual banter? Hell if he remembers, or has noticed at all. God… this whole thing has him rattled real good. Hopefully a nap will get him back into the usual pace of things.

“I sure hope not everyone blows their sugarbird pocket money on beer and weed like you do,” The blonde muses once he can feel a different kind of fatigue set in, reaching the blunt back to Dabi. Hypocritical? Maybe. Won't stop him from nagging others for the same shit, though. Comes with the job.

“Well, Compress replaced the crumpled hat… and Tomura decided to save up for a new handheld,” Dabi muses, placing the smoke into the corner of his mouth. "It'll go via Giran, of course. After seeing the taxes on that shit, I can't even blame him."

Can’t help but smile at that. “You are all fucking hopeless.”

A hum is all he gets as a reply.

After a while of comfortable silence, the remains of the roll get snuffed out on the ground. Blinking past Dabi, Hawks can see the sun is soon to set. Fucked like two hours just sitting out here, didn’t he. The Commission better not expect much from today’s endeavor… cannot exactly tell them that he was getting high on the rooftop with the flame villain for a good portion of it, the only villainous topic being creepy fat cats and their own shortcomings. Or that his possibly biggest secret slipped, although they wouldn't give a rat's ass about that. Yyyeah… it’s best to bullshit it.

“Humor me for another minute of real talk, will you, chicken?”

Dabi’s voice drags him back to reality again, only to realize that the light has already turned into a warm yellow. If his bones… or rather joins popped now, he’d feel like the embodiment of a nice little bonfire under the sun. Huh. Guess the stuff was of the better quality to make him think of weird similes and turn his sense of time whack. What was he--- oh, right. He should answer.

“… cannot promise I'll be able to pay attention or remember any of it, but do your best, crouton.” There’s a mild prickly sensation in his wings and his brain feels like marshmallows. If only he could always be so calm.

“Don’t bullshit me, you barely had a whiff." The dirty remains of weed are flung over the roof in annoyance.

He can feel a goofy smile creep onto his face- it's nice to be the source of frustration for once. Maybe all he needs to do is be honest more often. "Second hand smoking goes a long way, bruh."

The initial answer is an exasperated sigh. "Shut it… Anyway, you should cut the sweet chirping and tweeting, birdie. No matter what you do, people take advantage of your position. You know this better than anyone else. So squawk and screech to your heart's content, if that's what you need… and if barking won’t help, get down to biting.” Having said that, he stops surveying the cracked parking lot under the golden sky, and turns back to Hawks.

He forgets to breathe for a second. Good lord… those eyes glow as if they were illuminated by blue fire from inside, and the contrast with the sunset is just… well, literally breathtaking, he supposes. This is among the few times when they don’t creep him out- quite the contrary, in fact. They still feel like X-rays, though. “I guess it really doesn’t matter… by the way, real talk question: can you fucking read minds?”

Not that he expected anything else, but a smug grin appears on the villain’s face. “Maybe~”

“Careful, man. Your pants are sizzling.”

Lo and behold, another rare chuckle. Despite being under the influence of drugs, (or maybe because of that?) Hawks is on a fucking roll.

He can't keep his eyes off those blue ones even once Dabi decides to stare back at him. “Jokes aside… suppose there really is an idiot like me out there, and they get up close and personal… put those clipped talons to work and gouge their fucking eyes out. You have all the means to tear them limb from limb… go all out, who gives a fuck. These are the same kind of people who shit on wild animals from beyond a cage, but watch them run with tail between legs upon realizing that the gates are wide open. And even if you weren't ready to dirty your hands or feathers like that…" 

He lifts a pointing finger and rests the tip on the hero’s nose. "One word of yours… and we'll make sure it's the last day they touched anyone. Understand?"

Really, all he can manage to that is a weak, sheepish smile. “… thanks,” he breathes, not knowing what else to say. He should be a thousand times more alarmed over basically being told that someone's ready to kill for him, and not… well, flattered? Touched? Especially since he knows Dabi means it, and so would the rest of them.

“Great,” the other grunts while getting on his feet, and leaning just a little bit on Hawks’ head while doing so. What a turd. Latter’s about to get his stiff legs working as well, but once the vague aching starts subduing, he can see Dabi stop in the doorway and put a hand on his hip. “… those filthy gremlins have been spying on us.”

Indeed… someone brought the hero’s scantily loaded bag to the top of the staircase and left it there.

“In that case,” turns Dabi around, flinging said bag over to Hawks in the same breath, “go straight the fuck home and get yourself presentable, you overgrown turkey. Might wanna decide on the new alias by the next time I call, too. You already know the rest.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he sighs, dragging the strap over his head.

Between the echo of boots, there’s a distorted farewell: “See ya, little star.”

Hawks stops in his tracks. He looks over to the empty entrance, and the metal door wide open. The sound of footsteps has faded into barely more than creepy sounds in an abandoned building- if not for his feathers, he wouldn’t even know that six other people are under the roof he’s standing on. Spirits and shadows haunting an old convenience store like many others.

He's nothing more than another ghost out here, and yet… he's never felt so real.

---

No matter what he chooses, Dabi will just stick to 'fancy chicken.' Also, I’m so fucking proud of that Red Starling. Not only is it obscure astronomy bullshit (much like the title of this thing), but it would be a nifty alternative to Hawks; just hit up a video on a flock (or, as I just learned, murmuration) of starlings. Shit’s cray.

[something-tofightfor]

Procrastinating on a Friday.

I was tagged by @madamrogers! Thank you so much, these were fun!

Find out a little more about me beneath the cut! 

Put your playlist on shuffle and show the first four songs that are played :

Quince - Fair to Midland

Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park

Low Life - X Ambassadors

Take Back the Night - Justin Timberlake

Bonus:

AntiSaint - Chevelle

Give a Little More - Maroon 5

Weakness - Opeth

Coffee Shop Soundtrack - All Time Low

Grab the nearest book, turn page 23, line 27 :

“He struggles, but the grip that holds him is like iron.”

S. (JJ Abrams, Doug Dorst) (It’s a line from the book that the main characters are reading called ‘Ship of Theseus’) … this is such an intriguing concept for a book.

Ever had a song or poem written about you?

I don’t believe so, no.

When was the last time you played air guitar?

I’m… not sure.

Celebrity crushes

Oh, here we go. Hugh Jackman. Katy Perry. Charlize Theron. Ryan Reynolds. Justin Timberlake. Benjamin Thomas Barnes.

A sound you hate/love

I hate the sound of people/cars creaking over ice in the winter. It makes me cringe like nothing else. I hate the sound of people chewing.

I love the sound of the waves breaking against the shore. I love the sound of faraway lawnmowers in the summer. I love the sound right before a musician comes onstage and the entire crowd takes a collective breath in anticipation.

Do you drive and have you ever crashed?

I do and I have, but it’s never been a serious crash. I took my foot off the brake once at a red light and bumped into the car in front of me.

Last book you read

‘Imperial Bedrooms’ by Bret Easton Ellis

Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes, and there’s one in my dad’s house (my childhood home) named Edgar.

Do you believe aliens?

Yes, and I believe that they’re very disappointed in the human race as a whole.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?

I do.

Last movie you saw?

We went to a pre-screening of Alita: Battle Angel last night.

Do you have an obsession rn?

Maybe. I might.

Do you tend to hold grudges?

Good lord, yes. If you wrong me, I’m not going to forget about it.

Are you in a relationship rn?

I am. Been with my boyfriend for over a decade.

Number two:

1. Name: Rachael

2. Zodiac sign: Capricorn

3. Favorite food: Cheap Chinese, any and all pasta, cheese

4. Favorite season: I love Fall (for the 36 hours we usually get it for) … but I also love Winter.

5. Jeans or shorts: Shorts.

6. Where are you from: United States - Ohio, to be exact.

7. Last book you read: I’m currently working my way through “S” by JJ Abrams and Doug Dorst, but the last book that I finished was “Imperial Bedrooms” by Bret Easton Ellis.

8. Favorite movie: My favorite movie of all time is probably The Fox and the Hound, but on the totally opposite side of things, I really really really love Quentin Tarantino’s body of work. Specifically Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction.

9. Dream vacation: I want to go on like a month long trip to Europe - Germany. London. Greece. Paris. Amsterdam. I also would love to go to Australia and New Zealand. I want to go to Hawaii to go on the LOST location tour.

10. Eye color: Blue

11. Natural hair color: Brown… I think?

12. Height: 5'6"

13. Introvert or Extrovert: A little bit of both, depending on the situation.

14. Tea or coffee: Coffee. All day, every day. If I drank any more of it, I’d turn into a coffee bean.

15. Do you work out regularly: I try to. I’m kind of lazy, but I’m trying to do better.

16. Favorite beverage: Surprisingly, it’s not coffee. I love apple juice.

17. Do you have pets: I have a Maine Coon/Siamese mix named Neptune and he is my favorite part of each and every day.

18. Your ideal day off: Being outside and doing something fun - hiking, laying in the grass reading, just enjoying my time.

19. In a relationship or single: I’m in a relationship.

20. Something unique about me: My left eye is missing a giant piece in the back. I was 3 weeks premature, and they think that my eyes hadn’t completely finished forming when I was born, so it’s basically like there’s an indentation in the back of it. My vision is horrible, but this “defect” hasn’t ever caused a problem.. But there’s nothing quite like beng 12 and hearing your optometrist say “um, there might be a…. An issue”... along with every single eye doctor since.

21. If you choose to, post a selfie: I don’t have a current one, so I’ll get back to you on this.

[tea-and-finalfantasy]

thoughts on wrestling rn (i haven’t exactly kept up w it tho so i could be wrong!)

Ok so I haven't been invested in wrestling for a bit like even when I was into it I was only watching clips and stuff but now I'm just kinda seeing gifs and it's fine, I enjoy it still, etc

And like I feel like there's always gonna be iffy storylines or whatever so it's not like I think aew needs to be like, 100% all the time (and I actually love the low stakes or fun matches more than title ones anyways! it's less stress)

But I do think there's a lot of wasted opportunity, not just with the women's division although that's the most glaring example of it (like you gotta have showings that are all women and one men's match like u can't keep on with one women's match and call that progress you have to at least devote half of your showings to women)

But beyond that, I think that there's a lack of capitalizing on certain characters that makes aew feel so fun and unique. Like I get that making Marko beat Hager first try might not be the underdog narrative they were going for but making him lose consistently was just boring. I don't like the idea of jobbers because I want variety in who wins, I want believability when it comes to characters having good matches and bad matches and good runs and bad runs. Brandon Cutler beating Peter Avalon was fantastic because they were both losing a lot but I think beyond that, they still should have matches where they win or it's seriously believable that they could

Kilynn King could be so fucking cool as just this hoss of a woman, this amazoness being like she needs to shine more and they're just not capitalizing on it. Yeah they have a cool thing going with Jade Cargill but you mean to tell me you can have as many huge guys as possible and only a few tall or big women???

I was invested most in Orange Cassidy's championship storyline when he almost beat Cody. I don't know the specifics of the narrative afterwards so I don't know if they made Orange seem hungry for a win but I dunno I feel like with him and Best Friends and Kris they're waiting too long to utilize them in a way that's fresh and interesting. They just wait and wait too long for it to happen in favor of passing around belts between the same people or they introduce new people that get the belts immediately and it doesn't work to do those things as consistently as they're being done right now

People like Jungle Boy, although he didn't have a solo title reign, got a tag team belt so quickly in comparison to someone like Statlander getting nothing and I really think they need to reassess who gets what and when

Also maybe it's just me struggling with it but I don't like when alliances are so short lived like maybe it was due to Statlander's injury and Shida doing a lot of solo work outside of aew after her run but I feel like they should've interacted at least once once she returned.

Also there are wrestlers I love to hate where they're fantastic athletes but I don't like seeing them win AT LEAST AS OFTEN AS THEY DO like Cody was so fun as Fuego 2 and while his Orange match was good and I can get with the matches between him and Brodie and Dustin, all the belt stuff gets boring for me. Kenny Omega with the belt was great especially because it led up to the culmination of Hangman's narrative thus far. I don't like Omega and the Bucks as a trio or duo winning when we're waiting on Best Friends to get the belts. Like yes I have more fun watching the street fights and everything but I don't like the belts always coming around to the same people especially in a short period of time. Mox feels good and genuine because he's there to fight and it's believable that he gets in scraps and wins, belt or not AND him and Eddie Kingston have such chemistry that I don't give a shit if anyone even had a belt when they were telling their story

I loved when they leaned more into the underdogs and strange gimmicks like Abadon deserves a title run especially because they're strange and strong. We need more weird people winning the belts lol

Also I totally get wanting to showcase as many people as possible! But it can be hard if they feature once to get invested, even if you know they still won't be a staple or that they'll lose. So like. Either showcase a lot more new talent consistently or focus on the people you do have working there or commit to doing both well. Focus on someone for a while and once they're established you can take on some more people--don't show someone off for two or three matches and then toss them aside. I got interrupted mid train of thought/was writing this in a Drs office waiting room lol so I don't know if this is all my thoughts but. Yeah. They need to get weirder

[makubes]

(Rock)’S RP plotting sheet

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted. 

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name: Ray OOC Contact: IMs, discord, and twitter if you’re really up for that

Who the heck is my muse anyway:

I’ll try to be concise and not info dump for 15 paragraphs but basically Tezuka had a recurring cast of characters for his manga known as the Star System and Rock was a main star, meaning he was a character who showed up a lot. He debuted in 1949 as a sweet adventurous detective boy but continued trauma eventually morphed him into a cold, charismatic villain type, first playing such a role in the 1966 manga Vampire and continuing to take on such roles to present day. Interestingly he still gets heroic roles as well. He’s a very experimental character (the others almost always play the same type of character) which is part of what makes him so interesting.

The version of him I play on here is one of my own design, taking elements I liked from everything I’ve seen, read, or at least know a fair bit about and meshing that all together to make something both unique and familiar (to the 2 ppl who know him anyway)

By default my Rock is a vain, self-centered, know-it-all 16yo brat who puts on a public facade of being a sweet boy detective while doing some blackmail work on the side in an attempt to salvage the broken relationship with his adoptive father. Also he demanded godhood from a deity (the phoenix specifically) and for his hubris was cursed for the next 100 lifetimes to always live and die in tragedy, but that’s a minor detail really.

Points of interest:

Things people would notice right away: his snazzy suits, those designer shades, his gorgeous blue eyes if he’s not wearing those, his hair?? idk uh. 

Things people might notice while talking to him: his way of speaking: it’s a little off. He sounds very formal and very old. Not like a child at all. A particularly observant person might even notice that it seems insincere. If he’s not bothering with the facade then his ego is pretty much impossible to miss.

What they’ve been up to recently:

No good lmao. I mean I already said it above he’s trying to salvage the relationship with his father but like that involves him doing a lot of crime? He does have more realistic aspirations though like world domination, obtaining all knowledge of the universe, and gaining immortality. 

By that though I mean Rock is a very good boy who’s been very busy with his studies and thus hasn’t had time to even think of doing anything bad (not that he would of course)

Where to find them:

Find him at your local bar drinking away his sorrows despite clearly being underage. In dark alleys on backstreets making unsavory deals. Out driving late at night, speeding down the highway without a care in the world, at some stuffy business party making no attempt to hide his discomfort or boredom, as he’s come to know that no one at these events notices or cares. At the mall splurging on cute skirts and makeup to forget about his troubles. IDK there’s more but you know.

Current plans:

IDK I’m just kinda BSing it on here lmao. I do wanna write up a proper bio page eventually as well as maybe actually work on that NPC page I never really made? Also I gotta update my playlist lmao

Desired interactions:

Rock needs to smooch some boys. oK but beyond that I just want more relationships in general? Like positive or negative IDC I just need more cuz rn I don’t have a lot

Offered interactions:

He can be your devil or angle. dsaoifhweiorhtfosd nO BUT REALLY Rock is a super flexible character so if we count AUs then I can offer a lot of different stuff.

Current open post/s:

People didn’t respond to my opens so I stopped making them lmao. 

Anything else?:

I’m pretty much online every day but I’m often tired from work and on top of that have an anxiety disorder so I don’t really message people. I’m trying to work on that! But as it stands I worry that I’m annoying people so I’m sorry if it seems like I’m ignoring you! I don’t mean to!

Tagging: @latesco @berlitzed @superel IDK take it!

[smosh-stuff]

SUPERHERO AUS ARE FUN

Gather round children It’s SG AU time with Nerd

To preface this, I would like to say that I did have a kind of superhero au thing for the crew a while back??? But when Hero House happened, I kinda gave it a makeover (and added Boze) Because of that, some of these hc’s are more based off of the crew’s HH personas than others. Finally, I actually couldn’t come up with names for some of the members? So for the ones I point out, I would REALLY appreciate some suggestions of names! As funny as the ones from HH are, I kind of like to have cooler/more relevant names for this au.

(So this isn’t as fleshed out as HSAU but roll with it okay)

So in this au, superpowers are a bit finicky. See, if your power isn’t movement based (like speed or flight) you’re gonna need a medium to use it through. Let’s call these ‘conductors’. Conductors can be in the form of any tool or weapon designed to resonate with super power energy.

Since I don’t yet have a power energy origin thing, let’s just call that energy 'Chrome’ because that’s my favorite cool word (I know chrome means color but I just think it sounds cool okay the name isn’t permanent)

WAIT NO

Krome

We’re callin it krome for now, y’all

Also, most people who have krome have above average strength, endurance, and resistance

Anyways so onto the people

Joven’s superhero name is Jovenshire. I know, Bat-Man is great but I wanted a more serious persona for this au, okay

He has the ability to manipulate the phases and movement of metal. (Imagine metal bending from Avatar but a lil less cool looking)

Because of his power he tried to go by Mr. Platinum for a while, but shut that down real quick when the others started calling him Mr. Bronze instead. (Flitz still calls him the Blind Beaver sometimes)

He uses a pole staff as his conductor. I would have made it a sword, but a staff really does work better for his abilities (and also there is a lotta other swords going around)

Next is Lasercorn, who also has that for his superhero name (This trend does not continue, I promise)

Lasercorn can control and generate concentrated light to the point where it fires in hot, controlled blasts

Which means he has lasers

His conductors are scimitars, the blades of which have a spiral pattern around them to resemble blade shaped unicorn horns (Ill probably draw them because in my mind they are c o o l)

He basically channels the heat/light energy through them, meaning really hot blades, and fires lasers from the tips of them.

He can also make his hands real hot if he wants to but using his shooty swords is easier/cooler looking

Then there’s Sohin, who... doesn’t have a name rn?? Help me out with him guys

I don’t want red rampist to be an option but it kinda is (though I would prefer something more serious/relevant)

Anyways he has super speed/flight

Since his powers are movement based he doesn’t have a conductor, but has a rapier with which to whack people (and throwing daggers because you always need a ranged attack)

My name for Mari rn is Atomic Storm, but if y’all have better ideas lemme know cuz I’m not sure if that’s cool or not

So her powers are weather based. It’s pretty cool

Mari has two conductors. One is a shorter staff with a pretty blue crystal which channels powers of rain, wind, and lightning. She also has a sword that can channel frost/ice, snow, etc. So weather staff and frost sword.

She can use her staff to control the actual weather (reach depends on how much krome energy she is willing to exert) or make controlled blasts of that weather medium.

Boze is also nameless. Help her

She has plant powers!

Boze carries a poleax. Unlike other abilities, her powers are much easier to use without a conductor. If she really wants to concentrate it, she uses her ax as a conductor, but usually she will just use it as a weapon.

Her power is different like that because she psychically communicates with plants through her krome energy, instead of physically manipulating the matter like Joven does with metal.

Okay Wes and Flitz I’m really happy with my headcanons for

Wes’ name is the White Knight (I got so pumped when I came up with that I’m so lame)

He has the ability to manipulate his own gravitational energy. He cannot make himself unaffected by gravity, but he can make it so that he can fall at an extremely slow pace, rush down to the ground, etc.

He has a G I A N T S W O R D

Like seriously child your sword is as tall as you calm down a bit

I’m realizing only now how much of an anime character I made him

Anyways it’s a really cool white sword and it resonates with his energy in a way that it’s very easy for him to manipulate its gravity as well.

He can grab objects/people and manipulate their gravity as well, but depending on the mass/weight of that object it takes a lot of energy

He also might have some sort of connection with animals??? (Specifically dogs. I might have a thing for that but I’m still figuring that out)

Ill probably post some sort of design for him at some point

Onto the last but certainly not least, Flitz

I kept Black Magiq. It’s so perfect for him I’m not even gonna try to do better

His abilities are also unique in that they’re trained. His set of powers are linked to a sort of bloodline and pertain to a certain form of matter/environmental manipulation usually referred to as magic. He’s essentially a jack of all trades, trained in many different fields. 

He has three conductors. All three are staffs, and very old, passed down. One is made to resonate in a way that channels healing energies, another to channel fire/heat, and the last to channel solidified energy itself into projectiles. He has some other powers, like a small amount of skill in transmutation, but the three he has staffs for are his main powers.

And that’s pretty much it? Any ideas/input/name suggestions are always welcome!

[silversatori-blog]

For the fandom thing : welcome to night vale ? I'm not actually sure if you're really, like, in the fandom or anything, but I think I saw you reblog things about it ?? If I'm wrong or if you don't know enough about wtnv then just ignore this haha

I am an WTNV fan! (Though, to shame, I’m not caught up anymore really... last one I heard was Love is a Shambling Thing.) I’m not much in the fandom shipping wise, but I love this podcast!send me a fandom and i’ll tell you…- the first character i ever fell in love with:Carlos! Well, really he was the first character that got a canon personality before WTNV became a serial thing instead of singular episodes. Then again, I binged the first 2 1/2 years in like a month or two so not sure.- a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:Is there anyone you cannot like? Idk Michelle Nguyen and Maureen are not my big faves. I get it the whole anti-mainstream thing is a joke, but for me personally it’s a tiny bit annoying rn?a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:I literally do not know any ship outside of Cecilos. Drawing a blank here.my ultimate favorite character™:Hard to determine, but I am actually always excited when Kevin turns up. (But really, give anyone a voice appearance, Episode 100 was a party for me!) The cool thing about Night Vale is that everyone is so unique it’s hard to dislike anyone. prettiest character:How is that a question, everybody knows who the prettiest scientist in Night Vale is.my most hated character: I find Deb the sentient patch of haze kind of annoying but I don’t hate her per se. Same for Maureen. Oh, I know, maybe this is redundant because I’m not caught up yet but I have a super bad feeling about Old Woman Josie’s daughter Alaundra? Don't know why but I dislike her. I don’t really hate anyone. my OTP:Cecilos, duh. Also maybe City Council and Station Management although that’s too freaky for me to get into. as to non-canon ships I saw very nice artworks of Kevin and an OC-ish Carlos double named Diego. Loved that stuff.

my NOTP:Still blanking out on that. favorite episode:100 - Toast is far up there. So mayn voices. The Sandstom episodes are some of my all-time favorites too because it was so diffrent from just hearing Cecil all the time. ´Old Oak Doors was just marvelous. Who’s a good boy? nearly made me shit myself in the middle of campus so that’s a good one. And Triptych was just so sad D:

saddest death:Spoilers, obviously if anyone reads this so far? Fay from Numbers was super sad, and Hiram had me really upset the whole week (the announcement a few episodes prior more than anything). And I assume Old Woman Josie will die at some point, and I am so fucking mad. favorite season:The first year had some extremely memorable episodes, but overall, I liked the second year / Strex season the most. It was a good, concise plot and I’m so excited that they’ll pick up the Smiling God storyline again (hopefully?).least favorite season:The season that ended with “Who’s a Good Boy?”. I feel like the ending was a bit Deux Ex Machina and overall, even though there were some extremely cool episodes, I kinda didn’t get the flair. However, that might just be me, sometimes I just lose track of stuff, especially when it’s a long running thing.character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:No idea what the fandom loves? Not a big fan of Deb, Maureen and Michelle, but I don’t really hate them. my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:*whispers* Steve Carlsberg. Also Kevin.my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:Hiram :( (Okay he was a piece of shit at times and is kind of a murderer but he’s super cool and also a literal five-headed dragon.) Well his purple head specifically. Also Faye and maybe pre-Strex Kevin?my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:Always with the ships.... Hey, I googled it and no ships came up except for Cecilos. so no answer to that one I guess. Probably the Glow Cloud (All Hail) and the power over our unimportant, meaningless lives that the mighty cloud can destroy as it pleases but chooses not to. (No seriously, no idea. Also all hail again.)my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:Computer and Megan just came to mind. Very cute.

Thanks!

[waywardcapricorn]

Top 7 shows you're watching rn? Random number I know lol 😅 but is 10 too much to ask? Or you could just list shows you'd recommend..? No set amount

For family-focused drama with great acting, I am watching Queen Sugar and This is Us. This is Us is if you want to be in your feels every week. Queen Sugar, is my favorite show and absolutely stunning. Every episode had one scene I couldnt get out of my head. 

If you already watch those, I also recommend Being Mary Jane on BET. Gabrielle Union is killing that role as a black cable-news anchor every week and not many have seen it. I also recommend Transparent although, I don’t know that I get joy from that show. It’s more that it’s so well-written and I’m incredibly intrigued always. Maybe my intrigue comes from my inability to relate to this family LOL. The last two shows have something in common in the sense that you might shout at them about how often they are fucking up.

I never know where to place Jane the Virgin, but it’s telenovela style so you know it’s both silly in it’s humor and very dramatic (and sometimes over-the-top dramatic). Through the camp, it has a huge heart.  

If you want to laugh, watch Black-ish (I laugh so hard my stomach hurts. It’s my favorite week by week.), Fresh Off the Boat (Two words: Constance Wu), Grace and Frankie (I still can’t figure out why this isn’t more widely enjoyed but I also love comedy that centers around people that are familial. Also, the two leads are hilarious. Watch beyond the first episode.) Broad City, (I am a sucker for their specific kind of hijinks and friendships where they are always on each other’s team. Oh, it’s also ridiculous. Skip Season 2, Episode: “Citizen Ship” for a really gross Transphobic comment) , Brooklyn Nine-Nine (especially if you loved Parks and Rec. Basically lovable found family and never going to be made uncomfortable by their humor. This is one of my favorites), Chewing Gum (it’s only 6 episodes, it’s on Netflix, and it’s just straight out funny shit from the mind of Michaela Coel)  One Day at a Time (if you like the traditional sitcom format but with a Cuban-American family. The perspective makes it very fresh. Lovable although less clever.), Insecure (If you want a comedy that feels real and honest and is also possibly the best comedy on cable. This is probably in my top 3), and Atlanta (I have no idea how to categorize this show but it has humor that I’ve literally only see on it. Very unique and funny. I’ll be honest, I feel like this show is FUBU) Lastly, you need to watch The Good Place, if you haven’t. It’s unique and well-thought out and, of course, super funny. I watched it because I trusted the creatives behind it but was very skeptical about how I’d feel about it. Oh, it really has pay-offs. I’m trying to get everyone on this. 

If you want intense shows that are exciting and that you feel like you don’t know what’s going to happen every week, I suggest Westworld for your science fiction needs. I love uncovering an inventive world through a TV show and that’s definitely part of this one. (It also is very overt in their displays of how toxic misogyny and power are, so I think that could be triggering) I also LOVE Underground  if you want a historical action show. I’m telling you, the intensity doesn’t just come from the plot of escaping slavery itself. It’s my mission to get more people to watch Underground. It has great characters and every week it would leave me dying for that next episode. I also watch dramas that you probably know what they are about and their appeal and sometimes lack of appeal LOL (like HTGAWM, OITNB, Stranger Things, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones etc). One of the best on TV for intense and action filled is well-written, well-acted drama is still The Americans. I’m also a big fan of the Marvel Netflix series, especially Luke Cage and Jessica Jones, but I bet if that’s your thing, you’ve seen them LOL. 

The Night Of and American Crime are my recommendations if you like crime dramas (well they are actually miniseries). Both can be somewhat uncomfortable in what they societal issues they directly confront. They are great shows with excellent actors but are not the shows if you want neat endings at all. If you like more of a procedural-type of crime drama, I don’t like any more than I like Elementary, which I think just benefits from genuine character change and the building of relationships. 

If you want shows that really don’t feel like anything else out there, watch The Get Down for just a really dope period musical drama. If you like the feel of Moulin Rouge and would love to see that kind of vision but with brown and black musically-inclined kids in the Bronx, this is for you. I think about 40 minutes into the first episode it hit me that what I was seeing was really dope and special. I also recommend A Series of Unfortunate Events. It’s dark and imaginative and you love and want to protect those children from the first scene. 

If you already watch most of these things because they are somewhat well-know, I will list a few that I don’t see that many people watching. I love Crazyhead for its humor and it also fulfills that snarky demon-hunting Buffy-shaped hole just a little bit. Survivor’s Remorse, is a comedy on Starz about a guy who just was drafted in the NBA and moves his family down to Atlanta. 

LOL This isn’t even an exhaustive list, as I probably am missing some here. 

[trueheda]

☀☠♕♥

Get to know the rper - RP related

Send me a ☀ for me to talk about someone I’ve met through rp.

my babe hannah. ( @azgona / @braverstars / @scelusiisms ) is like my favorite human being. jk. nah but seriously we met a little over a year ago in a closed group and then later transitioned into indie together pretty much, it was honestly like the best thing we click so easily and so well and i never have writers block with our threads. she’s like the cutest human, if we get another unity days next year i wanna drag her there with me so i can have a local canadian. # tho its the other side of the country and i might have visited bc more often lol . nah but legit she’s super cute super sweet and super fun to talk to both ic and ooc and i’m honored to call her the b to my v. 

lowkey also shoutouts to @impcled ( chuck ), @ginatcnic ( lauren ), @crimiinalchemiist ( danny ), @viiduus ( moon ), @blakeraised ( esther ) &. @soulofvalor ( charles ) bc #bestsquad to start off any fandom with i love you all so much.

Send me a ☠ for me to describe a terrible rp experience.

when people. get mad at you. for fucking. not responding on time. it is the most. annoying. shit. like. i’m trying to get school work done right ? which isn’t like easy like people dont seem to comprehend that art school isn’t easy. but just bc i go to an art uni don’t mean i have free time i actulally probably have less free time bc ur constantly working. and like this person who will not be named ??? just started to get like really needy ??? about their replies ??? like dude sorry i’m not plotting with you nonstop rn ??? i have shit due and grades to worry about ??? like don’t. come to me asking if i hate you all of a sudden if i’ve said i’m going to be gone for that week like ??? wtaf ??? don’t get needy. the minute people get needy i shut them out so fast. its not even me wanting to be mean i just can’t deal so i just will stop responding to you all together if you do that.

Send me a ♕ for me to describe favorite rp character of someone else’s.

i like adore ?? @acrownofice ??!! and @viiduus few fun facts about acrownofice first um you have them to thank for me finally caving and making a t100 indie like when i was back on my peter pan blog @volantii i used to like stalk them all ? the ? time ? it was like my favorite blog the writing quality and their take on nia/nian was like the most interesting thing to me ? nia ( * or in this case nian since the blog is cis!bent ) is one of the single most underdeveloped and thrown away characters in t100 universe, like nia and ontari specifically both had so much more potential than what they were used for ? instead of writing for like characters they wrote for plot and they got used as plot devices and discarded instead of like ????? the amazingness that they could have been ???? so whenever i see acrownofice on my dash i always get hella excited bc i adore their take on nian and how he reacted to shit and why and how it works in his head like its all so aslk;df skld and i get so happy. similarly with viiduus who’s moon’s alex murphy um. how tf do you come up with such a cool complex background for a character we get two lines about in the whole fucking show who knows. but i think that alex murphy might b my fav skaiadult and he’s like not even int he fucking series. he’s too complex for it, the way he thins and why he thinks the way he does are very unique and something that’s not seen in t100 anywhere else, his logic is rather similar to that of most azgeda if you look at the basics, but the logistics as to why and how he gets to these conclusions are completely different and the fact that hes like ??? #squaddad to lie 90% of humanity ? #besides his boyfriend and queens i guess ?????

Send me a ♥ for me to describe a favorite rp ship of mine.

OMFG NO WHAT KIND OF EVIL WHY R U MAKING ME PICK ? i love all of my two ships guys. they’re both amazing. i laugh but its true. ontari has two shps. ontari &. @azgona ( ursa ) and ontari &. @damnleader ( bellamy ) and like ??? that’s it ??? you can’t make me pick between the two i love them both so much ? they’re very very very different and they both have things that are great about them. one is deff more angsty than the other * cough belltari cough but that dosen’t make urstari any less like important and shit ??? idk how one explains thi askldf. NO BUT LIKE LEMME GO INTO THIS A BIT. like ursa and ontari is a very interesting dymanic because it’s a ship but like ??? ontari isn’t romantically interested in ursa. she loves ursa yes. but it’s 1000% platonic with the exception that she does feel lust towards ursa as well. ursa is her rock, what makes her feel at home and safe in the afct that she has to be navigating this political atmosphere by herself now. having her ambassador by her side is not only reassuring as a heda, but it makes sense that ontari would find calm in having ursa by her side intimately as well because she symbolizes such stability etc. bellamy and ontari have a completely different dynamic its much more raw and toxic and generally not good for humanity why does this ship exist. however there is romantic love in bell and o where that doesn’t happen with o and ursa and thus there’s a passion that isn’t felt int he other. however with them being on opposites in almost every way its... interesting to see them have that desire especially since, unlike ursa and o, belltari are never actually together as a couple.