#the southern bell voice is getting to me I gotta escape guys

[moominpopzz]

Thought ab Southern William and Petnames again

Specifically about this poor man getting thrown into the city life, not quite being able to pick out what’s ‘too southern’ to act on - getting glared at because he keeps calling random people sweetheart and honey and he has no idea why he’s getting that response

It takes him months to realize no one ever really does it back to him there and that it’s been he’s like accidentally hitting on people instead of it being taken as just a sort of kindness like back at Deadwood

[s1v0n1]

Southern Belle Kaminari

a/n: not proofread, I'll edit it soon <33

The night was young, and the music was loud. You always imagined your college years would be lonely and studious, in high school you didn’t care for parties or clubbing and fake id’s, so that wouldnt change in college, right? Well burnout is real and now you were about to graduate from your bachelors and all you wanted was to have fun. You werent focused on your future right now, its saturday night for christs sake, you just wanted to get wasted with your besties. 

Mina, your ride or die, was on speaker while you picked out an outfit for the night, gossiping about the past couple days. Nothing was new, you guys talked everyday about other peoples dirt, but something about it was just wrong enough to be fun. “Wait so are you wearing your black boots or your brown ones?” you asked, not wanting to accidentally match, or match at all. Please, you guys aren’t 13 with matching shit from claires, yall are mature now- you match vibes and colors. “I’m wearin’ my black ones, they match my fringe jacket. Imma wear those with some like shorts and that one like blue crochet top- have I shown you that one?” she was rummaging through her closet as she spoke. “Oh yeah you wore it last week right? To the party at delta kappa?” “Yeah!! I thought it’d be cute tonight, what’re you wearing?” Her crackly voice asked. “If i can find it, that little yellow dress, the one with the beaded straps. I heard some of the guys from calc are coming! Like the guys that sit over by the window!” You giggle a bit. It’s stupid and theyre definitely no good, but what the hell. You guys are young, you can go fool around a little bit. “NO!! Are you serious? Like theyre coming to OUR brewery??” She shouted, now noticeably closer to her phone. Mina’s had a thing for a certain someone in that group since orientation. “Shit, you shouldve told me sooner, now i gotta find a better shirt- what do you think about my black crop top?” “You dont have a black crop top..?” “Its like a corset bra thingy” “So lingerie???” “Ok well whatever, its been like three years- i gotta make him see me tonight” “You go girl” you replied. 

After both outfits were completed, y’all had a little facetime to double check how yall looked together and when everything was perfect, you both headed to meet up outside, then driving in mina’s car to the bar. Blasting Country girl by luke bryan and singing at the top of your lungs out the sunroof. You loved mina, she was your number one, the bestie of all besties. Being around her made you happy, you guys just clicked like sisters. Some people brag about their lifelong friendships or how many friends they have, but this was enough. 

Pulling into the brewery’s parking lot, mina squealed at the boys big red f1-50 thats always parked outside their infamous frathouse. Fratboys are bad news nad theyre definitely gonna ruin you and break your heart, but you didn’t care right now. Living is about loving so hard, and hurting even harder so love becomes that much sweeter. So being 21 with your best friend, swooning over slutty frat boys from your calc class you were failing, you needed to keep that rush while it lasted. You basked in the adrenaline and got drunk off the giggling, knowing that in 5 years this will all be a fun story. Tldr: you love living life. 

YOu guys loved this place, youve been dancing here for a good while now. They had line dancing every saturday and that was you two’s escape. You guys set aside bits of your paychecks to pitch in for drinks and snacks, it was a whole ordeal. Mina was already at the bar, trying to get wasted cus it was your week to drive home. You headed out to the floor, following the people already dancing. Through the spins and stomps, you looked for the infamous boys and then you see their hair. Most all of them had bright hair, mina was already eyeing the redhead with her drink nearly gone. To your surprise, he looked at her back, grinning like a devil. You might be driving home alone tonight, heres to hoping shes still on her birth control and that he has condoms. You grinned and kept dancing, getting lost in the music and the familiar steps, the skirt of your dress just long enough to cover everything when you twirl. 

Its around 10 when mina stumbles over to you, clinging to kirishima and his long red hair. Her lipstick smeared and the redhead’s lips noticeably red, they were banging tonight, good for her! “Be careful hun, use a condom and call me if you need me keep me posted!!!” you shouted over the music to her as she left, his hand on her ass. Wow. after three years, she finally did it. Planning out tonight in your head as you left after that song. You can drive her car to the dorms then walk to yours- perfect. You headed to the bar to get a soda, seeing one of the guys lounging against the chairs. He wasnt really smart, like you hes just here for a good time. His bright yellow hair nearly hurt your eyes, but you walked towards him, changing your mind. He looked like sin, he looked like lust, his shirt was unbuttoned just enough to see his chest and his sleeves were rolled up. His arms were pretty and his hands were hot- fuck you wanted to take him home. 

“Can i buy you somethin’ babe?” He smirked at you, you swear you felt something shock you like static. “What do you think i should have?” you responded, the music coming back in with electric guitars and harsh drums. It was getting hotter, you were sure of it. “Booze, i wanna take you home” he stood up straight and made sharp eye contact with you, “unless you wanna drive me home like youre driving me crazy.” you walked towards him as he pushed his hair back. “Fuck, i know youve seen yourself- you cant do that to a guy.. You cant tell how hot you are,” words were spewing from his mouth before he knew what they even meant. He was turned on, this is all hes waited for. You didnt remember, but he did, you guys had classes together freshman and sophomore year. Hes had a massive crush on you, just like mina had on kirishima, maybe tonight was just the night to fall in love. 

You cant deny it, hes really cute and pretty hot- youve eyed him a couple times at parties, but he was always messing around with other girls. Kaminari is well known for his one night stands, and youre known for listening to rumors. Youve heard about him, now you wanted to see what hes really like. 

[randogirlo-fando]

Andante, Andante Part 3/?

Summary-Keg King Billy Hargrove becomes infatuated with Mike and Nancy’s cousin who is staying with them over the summer.

Warnings- swearing, mentions of sex, mentions of weed, eventual smut

Word count - 2.1k

“So you thought the best time to tell me you’re going on a date with that jackass was right before I leave for work wearing a stupid sailor costume? Really?” He frustratingly slaps the spatula down from making eggs on the unheated stove and put his face in his hands making you roll your eyes.

“Steve it’s one date, how else was I supposed to get him to leave me alone? I’m trying to not get Hopper called on me because I punched someone....AGAIN!” He turns to you trying so hard not to laugh.

“I’m sorry, did you get in trouble last time? NO! He brought you to the station and gave you a high five for sticking up for yourself.” You look back at your memory of punching Tommy and giggle a little.

“Okay, so what if I go on one date!? I can make my own decisions and I already told him I don’t kiss or fuck on the first date so maybe after this date he will get bored and leave me alone.” He sighs and hugs you, laying his head on yours.

“Promise me you call me if he touches you?” You nod the best you can and he pulls away to look at you.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t tell Dustin.” The solemn nod you give back to him makes him smile before realizing the time.

“Shit I gotta get to work! Grab your stuff I’ll take you home.”

“Okay, I’ll meet you in the car.”

“I’m home!” Your voice echoes through the house while you close the door behind you. As you enter the basement the phone rings, grabbing your attention. You take the phone in your hands and bring it to your ear.

“Wheeler residence, (Y/n) speaking.”

“Hey Cherry, can you be ready in an hour?”

“Ah Hargrove, what makes you think I take any longer than an hour to put myself together?”

“Well I don’t know, do you have to practice your snarky comments ahead of time or something?” The rhetorical question brings a smirk to your face as you roll your eyes.

“Babe I could practically feel that eye roll. Are you free to be picked up in an hour or not?”

“I’m free. Hey, where’s the kids? They aren’t here at the Wheeler house.”

“They’re at that kid Will’s house. And I just left my morning shift at the pool, that’s where your hot aunt is with the little one.” You gag into the phone.

“If you call my aunt hot again today I will tuck and roll out of your car.” He chuckles.

“Fair enough. See you soon Cherry.”

“Whatever Hargrove just don’t be late or I won’t answer the door.” You end the call and walk over to your suitcase to find clothes.

“Hey (Y/n/n), what are you doing?” The voice behind you makes you jump. You turn around to see Nancy and Johnathan laughing.

“Shit, y’all are stealthy.” Once you calm your heart down you look back at your suitcase.

“I have plans today and I’m trying to find a good outfit.”

“What are the plans?” Nancy walks forward to look in your suitcase.

“I mean it’s technically a date but I also don’t count it as one.”

“Woahh already? I knew you were a guy magnet but you’ve been here for 3 days.” Johnathan stands there awkwardly while Nancy giggles at her joke.

“Well I only agreed to it so they would stop asking.”

“Wait, so it’s not Steve?” You look up into Nancy’s eyes and your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“What? No. Why would I be going on a date with Steve?”

“Because you guys are clearly going to end up together. I mean he’s been in love with you since you left.”

“Nancy since I’ve left he became the school king and dated you, my cousin. I doubt he’s in love with me. Besides, he even knows about this. We had a sleepover last night.” A small sigh escapes her lips as she continues rummaging.

“All I’m saying is who could you possibly be going on a date with when Steve is right there in plain sight.”

“I honestly don’t think you want to know...” she freezes in place before slowly looking up at you.

“You don’t mean...?” You clear your throat and ignore her shock.

“(Y/n/n) don’t tell us you’re going on a date with that asshole.” Johnathan butts in, scoffing at the silence.

“Okay I’m leaving, Nancy I’ll see you later.” He kisses her cheek and pats your shoulder before going up the stairs.

“I only said yes so he would get off my case. He will be here in like forty minutes.”

“Be careful, he doesn’t treat girls nicely.”

“Oh trust me I already know.”

“Here put this on.” She lifts up a yellow and white striped tank with some baggy blue jean shorts and throws them at you.

“I’m going to be in my room to do your hair when you’re ready.” You smile at her while she goes towards the door.

After you changed and did your hair and makeup, making sure to wear your signature red lipstick, you sit on the kitchen counter talking to Nancy.

“He should be here any minute. He’s got 5 minutes or I’m locking the door on him.” You two giggle before hearing a knock on the door.

You jump off the counter and open the door to Billy leaning against the doorframe.

“Hey Cherry, you’re looking...good.” He compliments, making sure to obviously check you out.

“Eyes up here Hargrove, lets get going. Bye Nance!”

“Bye (y/n/n)!” You close the door behind you and make your way to the passenger side of the blue camaro and climb in.

“So Hargrove, where are you taking me?” He starts the engine and smirks at you before pulling out of the driveway.

“Well for starters, the mall. Thought we could get some food and go to a movie.”

“What movie?”

“Hellhole”

“Oh so your plan is a horror movie so I’ll get scared and you can be my knight and shining armor? Hate to break it to ya but I’m not scared of horror movies.”

“Oh really? How much you wanna bet you’ll be in my arms by the end of the movie?”

“If I win, you have to buy me something at the mall.”

“And if I win you have to go on a second date with me.”

“Deal Hargrove.”

“Two for Hellhole.”

“That’ll be $10” Billy pays for the tickets before getting you a large bowl of popcorn and Pepsi.

“Right this way Cherry.” He guides you with his hand on your lower back into the theatre and to the very back seats.

“My rule isn’t going to change Hargrove. Just because we’re in the back doesn’t mean I’m gonna let you do anything.”

“Yeah yeah just pass the Pepsi will ya?” You hand him the drink and the room goes dark.

“I can’t believe you weren’t scared.” You giggle at him and smirk as you walk to the food court.

“I told you, I’m a horror movie fanatic. Now you have to buy me something pretty.” He rolls his eyes playfully and then you see Steve working. Billy drags you to the ice cream parlor by the hand, holding onto it so you won’t let go.

“Well if it isn’t Harrington. How’s the sailor thing working out for ya?”

“Billy piss off I’m working.”

“Now now Harrington. I’m a customer, which do you want Cherry?” You roll your eyes and smile at Steve.

“Your favorite?” He asks, making Billy clench his jaw. You nod and pull your hand out of Billy’s grip.

“That’ll be $2.67” Billy puts the money on the counter and watches while Steve gets you your chocolate cherry swirl. He hands it to you and winks before putting the money in the register and giving change.

“C’mon Billy lets go sit down.” You walk away and sit at a table, Billy close behind.

“Did you just ask me out to make Steve jealous?” You’re face is unreadable to Billy while he scoffs.

“Not entirely.” You sigh and lick your ice cream.

“You’re a dick you know.” He stays silent until an idea pops in your head.

“He already knew about this date, you know. I stayed at his house last night.” His jaw clenches again as he watches you lick your ice cream.

“His parents weren’t home because of a vacation. It was nice hanging out with him. Like old times.” You realize he’s watching you and take one long lick on your ice cream to stir him on more.

“Of course I didn’t have any sleep clothes though since we went straight to his after the pool so I had to wear his shirt and sweats while we slept.” You’re halfway through your ice cream before Billy takes it from you and throws it away.

“That’s enough of that. Let’s go get you something pretty like I promised.” He pulls you up and drags you into Lovelace Lingerie.

“Are you crazy!? I’m not having you buy my underwear. We’re going into The Gap.” You drag him into the store and start looking around.

After a bit, you find a baggy black mesh dress and fall in love.

“Billy I want this.” He looks at the price and huffs.

“Okay let’s get it.”

“Hey Billy?” His concentration leaves the road for a split second to acknowledge you.

“Yeah what’s up” a huff leaves your lips before tapping the car door.

“I’ve actually had a fun time today. You know, you’re not a total dick when it’s just us two?”

You hear him chuckle before hearing the clicking of a lighter while at a red light. You watch him take a puff and he catches you staring, causing him to smirk.

“Want a hit, Cherry?” He offers the cigarette to you and you hesitantly take it from in between his fingers, your fingers brushing against his. He watches as you place it between your lips, inhaling the contents before coughing and handing it back.

“Guessing you’re not much of a smoker?” The light turns green and he puts his attention back to the road.

“I only really do it when I’m stressed. Now that schools over I’m not as stressed. It was also usually blunts, not nicotine.”

“So the southern belle has a bite to her. I mean I could tell you were feisty but pot? We should smoke together some time.” You smile at him and nod.

“I mean if you have a dealer here then totally.” Silence swallows you until you realize you past the turn to the Wheeler house.

“What, are you about to pull a Ted Bundy on me?” That joke made a genuine laugh come from him for the first time and it makes you proud.

“No, I just thought you’d want to come with me to pick Max up from the Byer’s.”

“Oh shit, that might not be a good idea. Chances are Dustin’s there, and you have no idea how pissed he would be to see me in your car.” He senses the tone of worry in your voice and genuinely feels concerned.

“I know they don’t like me but shit it’s that bad that you didn’t even tell them we had a date?”

“The only people that know are Steve, Nancy, and Johnathan.” He chuckles before making a U-turn.

The drive to the Wheeler house didn’t take longer than just a few short minutes. You both silently wished it was longer but before you could make up a reason to stay out with him, he pulled into the driveway. The car stops and he catches you staring blankly at him.

“Well, this was fun Cherry. Guess now I gotta leave you alone?”

“Well I may give you a second date, who knows. Maybe you can even take me out this week.”

“So I should call you?” You lean closer to his face, a genuine smile with a tone of snark on yours.

“You betcha...” you look down at his lips before closing your eyes, slowly leaning in meet him. The kiss lasts a minute, just slowly moving along his while he holds your cheek. You pull away and keep your eyes closed afterwards.

“What happened to no kissing on the first date?” You open your eyes slowly to the shit eating grin on his face.

“Maybe I couldn’t wait.” You give him a wink before opening the car door and stepping out.

“Don’t forget to call me this week.” You blow him a kiss and close the car door. He watches as you enter the house before driving off, the smile not leaving his face.

A/n- hey again I’m so sorry it takes me so long to post, a lots been going on.

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[waywardaardvark79]

Check Yes or No Part 3: Sweets Aren’t the Only Sinful Things

Summary: You've been best friends with Dean Winchester since childhood. When you finally realize what's been in front of you this entire time will secrets threaten to destroy what you have before it really even begins.

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warning: Language, smut

     Dean looked over his shoulder to make sure that you were no longer in the room and checked his phone. He shook his head at the missed calls and texts. He quickly put it on silent, snatched his keys and headed for the door. 

As soon as his hand touched the knob he felt his phone vibrate. He looked down at the screen and rolled his eyes. He closed your door behind him and answered the call. "I'm on my way." he barked into the phone. He made his way out of your building all the while listening to the person on the other end. "No, you listen to me. If you insist on meeting me to tell me whatever it is that you can't just tell me over the fucking phone, then we will meet where I said." he said as he opened his car door and climbed inside.

 He sat behind the wheel, gripping it as he continued to listen. "I told you I'm not doing this in Lawrence. You know where the diner we talked about is. If you really want to tell me I'll be there in 45 minutes." He started to end the call before quickly adding, "You need to stop with the calls and texts. After this we are done." He ended the call and quickly peeled out of the parking lot. 

           You pulled into your parking spot at Sinful Sweets, the bakery you had worked at since you were 16 years old. It had been your first and only job, and after the previous owner decided to retire a few years back you had bought the business from her. It was a small shop, two large glass display cases for different baked goods and a few tables for customers inside, but business was steady and you loved that it was all yours. 

     "Hey Charlie, been busy?" you asked the quirky redhead as you walked through the door. 

She looked up from the cookies she was stocking in the case, "The usual breakfast rush. It wasn't too bad."

 You nodded rounding the counter to grab your apron from the hook. "I'll be in the back. Just holler if you need me." 

You pushed through the doors to the kitchen, and heard Charlie yell, "What's got you in such a good mood?" 

You poked your head back through the door, "Nothing. Can't I just be in a good mood for no particular reason?"

 Charlie studied you for a moment. "Nah, something is definitely up with you. Are you drunk?" she asked as she moved closer to you and gave you a quick sniff. 

You swatted her away, "I'm not drunk.....just happy." 

Charlie quirked an eyebrow, "Whatever you say, boss."  "I'll be in the back if you need me." 

        Before you got started for the day you grabbed your phone and fired off a message to Dean.  You giggled at his reply and put your phone in your back pocket and got busy making everything you needed for the day.

       You were so busy putting the finishing touches on the cookies in front of you that you didn't even noticed when Charlie popped her head in and called for you a few hours later. "Y/N!!!" Your head shot up. "I've been calling you. You got a customer up front requesting you." 

You wiped your hands on your apron, "Be there in just a sec."

      You pushed through the kitchen doors to see Benny patiently waiting at the counter. "Well, hey there sugar. I was about to come searchin' for ya." he said in his thick southern drawl. 

You smiled brightly at the man. You had always liked Benny. "And what can I get my big teddy bear today?" you asked. 

He blushed slightly at the nickname. "The usual, hon." You turned to start gathering his usual order, "oh, and you could join me for dinner tonight." he said.

You looked up at him through your lashes, "Your errand boy beat you to the punch." You saw a flash of confusion on his face. "Dean." you said as you bagged his order. 

"Winchester finally grew a pair, huh?” he asked. 

  "Yep, asked me this morning. I told him to bring all you guys by once y 'all close and I'd feed you. He said as soon as he got back from running errands for you he would." 

Benny just nodded his head. You passed him his order. "We'll be sure to stop by later then, and sugar, if that window opens again you be sure..."  he said. 

You raised your hand and gently pinched his cheek, "You'll be the first one I call, Teddy."

 Benny chuckled and started to back out of the shop, "See ya later, sugar." 

You waggled your fingers at him, "Have a good day, Benny." 

       The rest of the day flew by quickly. It was nearing 5:30, and you told Charlie that she could go home and you would close without her. You were in the back when you heard the bell above the door chime, and boisterous voices soon followed. 

You walked up front, "Hey, boys." you greeted. Benny, Cas, and Garth were seated at one of the small tables. Your eyes scanned the room, "Where's Dean?" you asked. 

Cas looked over his shoulder and smiled, "He said the parking out front wasn't good enough, and went to  find a better spot."

 "Of course." you mumbled. "Can I get you guys a coffee?" you asked. 

The three men nodded, and you grabbed three mugs and began preparing their coffee. You sat a mug in front of each of them and started to grab a seat for yourself when Garth spoke up. "Dean said you had some cookies that you needed feedback on?"

 "I swear the only reason you boys stop by to see me is for the free food." Garth clammed up and started trying to stutter out a reply. You clapped your hand down on his shoulder, "Just teasing, Garth."  you said. You turned to head back to the kitchen, "I'll be right back." you said. 

When you made it back carrying a tray with an assortment of different baked goods you saw that Dean was now seated in your chair with a cup of coffee in front of him. You placed the tray on the table, "You stole my seat, Winchester." you said. 

He grabbed you around your waist and swiftly pulled you down onto his lap, "I got a seat right here for you, sweetheart."

 You turned a little and draped one arm behind his neck, "Real smooth, De." 

The conversation flowed smoothly between the five of you, and before you knew it it was time for you to close up shop. "I hate to kick you boys out, but I gotta close up." you said. 

 "You guys go ahead. I'm gonna stay here, and help Y/N close up." said Dean. 

You turned in his lap, "You sure? I know you were running for Benny today and Friday is always y'alls busy day." you said.  You saw Dean glance at Benny.

 "Oh, he's fine. I didn't run him that hard, sugar." replied Benny as he stood and pushed his chair in. 

You escorted the three men to the door and once they were all outside you flipped the open sign to closed and turned the lock. You had barely turned around when Dean was suddenly flush against your body, his hands gripping your hips.

 He leaned down and whispered in your ear, "I think you owe me a taste of something." he said. 

A low moan escaped your parted lips, "I was thinking more along the lines of a private taste test at home."

 Dean pressed a soft kiss just behind your ear, "Looks pretty private in here to me."

 You ran your hands up his chest and settled them on his broad shoulders. "The quicker you help me clean up the quicker you get your treat. So I suggest you be a good boy and get to it." you said. Dean quickly jumped back and started clearing the table. You giggled, "Don't think I've ever seen you move that fast." you said. 

He narrowed his eyes at you, "Get with it, woman."

 You shook your head as you made your way back to the kitchen. You had already done all the serious clean up, and were ready to go about 20 minutes later. 

Dean was patiently waiting by the door when you walked back in. You flipped off the lights, motioned him out the door, and turned to lock up. Before you could even turn around you felt him press up behind you. His finger tips danced lightly under the hem of your shirt placing light touches around your hip bones. 

You pulled on the door to make sure that it was locked and leaned your head back against his chest. He quickly took this opportunity to begin trailing sloppy wet kisses down your neck. "My car's around back." you softly breathed out. 

"Uhn uhn." Dean grunted, his lips never leaving your neck. 

You started to pull away and he quickly spun you around and pinned you to the door, his lips inches from yours, "My car." you said. 

 You placed your hand on his chest. He cradled your cheek in his hand, "I'll drive you to work in the morning." he said. 

Before you could protest his lips were crashing into yours. Your mouths molded together perfectly and it wasn't long before you felt his tongue run across your bottom lip. You opened your mouth and he quickly deepened the kiss as your hands fisted in the front of his shirt. When you finally had to break away for air you gasped out, "Your car." He laced your fingers with his and quickly began pulling you down the sidewalk. 

       The ride to your apartment was one of the most tension filled rides of your life. You were pressed into Dean's side the entire drive, both of your hands wondering over whatever you could touch of each other. 

You had just pulled his earlobe into your mouth and gave it a teasing bite when you felt the car come to a stop and felt him shift into park. You saw him reach down and fumble with the door handle trying to get out as fast as he could. As soon as the door opened he was pulling you out with him. 

You both stumbled into your building and managed to make it down the hall to your door without your mouths or hands leaving each other's bodies. You were trying to dig your keys from your bag with one hand while the other played with the soft hairs at the back of Dean's head as he busied himself sucking on your pulse point. 

You finally croaked out, "Time out. I gotta find the keys." 

Dean quickly took a step back. You grabbed the keys and tried to unlock the door with shaky hands. "Fuck." you cursed under your breath. 

Dean looked down at the door knob and placed his hand over yours, "Sweetheart, that's your car key." 

You looked down, dumbfounded at your ability to think straight in the moment. Before you could change keys Dean had taken them from your hand, inserted the right one, and pushed open the door. He ushered you inside and kicked the door closed behind him. You quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him towards your bedroom. 

       The minute you were in your bedroom his mouth was devouring yours in a hungry kiss. He slowly began backing you up towards the bed as you ran your hands down his chest and grasped the bottom of his shirt. Once you felt the back of your knees hit the bed you broke the kiss and started to pull his shirt over his head. 

Your hands moved to the bottom of your own shirt to do the same when Dean shook his head. "Stop. I wanna do it." he said.  He slipped his hands under your shirt and slowly ran them up your sides before bringing them back down to slowly pull your shirt over your head. 

He started trailing kisses along your shoulder and slowly slipped the straps of your bra down your arms. You felt his hand move up your back and work the clasp of your bra until it fell to the floor.

 His lips returned to yours as he moved his hands up your body to cup your breasts, his thumbs slowly rubbing over your nipples until they hardened under his touch. You gripped his hips and pulled him flush against you desperately seeking friction.

 You ran your hands along the top of his jeans and started to work at the button. You felt him give each one of your nipples a squeeze and a gentle tug and you were moaning into his mouth. "Please, De." 

Your hands were still fumbling with the button of his jeans. You whined at the loss of his kiss. "Patience, sweetheart."  he said. Before you could protest he was gently pushing you to lay back on the bed. 

He lowered himself over you, and gave you a slow passionate kiss before slowly breaking away and beginning to trail kisses down your body. You squeezed your eyes shut and threw your head back, one hand slowly running through his hair, while the other gripped the sheet.

 He ran his fingers along the top of your jeans and you felt him suck a mark by your hip bone. "I need you, De." you choked out. You felt him chuckle against your skin as his hands popped the button on your jeans.

 He rose to his knees, hooked his fingers in the top of your jeans and panties and slowly started to pull them down your legs. You felt him get off of the bed and opened your eyes to see him tugging off your shoes and socks before quickly ridding you of your jeans and panties and tossing them to the floor. 

You watched as his eyes raked over your naked body, and moaned when you saw him palm himself through his jeans. You pulled your knees up and slowly opened your legs, hoping to get him to move to where you needed him most. "Fuck, sweetheart. You're gorgeous." he said. 

 "Dean." his name fell from your lips in a breathy whisper. He slowly started to run his hands up the inside of your legs. He hooked a hand under each knee and quickly pulled you to the end of the bed and dropped to his knees. 

He settled each one of your legs over his broad shoulders and slowly pushed your legs open until he fit comfortably between them. "I've been wanting to taste you all day." he breathed out so close to where you needed him most.

 "What are you waiting for then?"  you asked. 

You were expecting a witty retort and were shocked when you felt his hot tongue dip into you and slowly run up to draw small circles around your clit. You sucked in a harsh breath and felt your hips buck against his mouth. "Fuuuucck." you cried out, completely lost in the bliss he was giving you. 

He sucked your clit into his mouth before releasing it with a wet pop, "You taste even better than I imagined." he said. 

"Please, De." you begged. 

You didn't even know what you were begging for at this point but you needed something. You felt his tongue dip back into you again and you threw your head back and moaned.

 He kept a punishing rhythm between thrusting his tongue inside you and running it back up to toy and suck at your clit. You felt the familiar coil tightening in your lower stomach and you knew you were right on the brink. The sounds Dean was making as he devoured you were quickly adding to the heat you felt coursing through your body. "Fuck...De....I'm so....cloooo."you quickly sucked in a breath as you felt one of his fingers slide into you. 

You moaned low in your throat as your hips bucked against his mouth. You felt his hand splay across your lower stomach to hold you to the bed just as he slid another finger inside of you.

 You tossed your head side to side and began to mutter out curse words and complete nonsense. Suddenly he crooked his fingers just so and you felt the coil snap. You bucked your hips and your legs began to shake as you cried out his name.

 He slowly pulled his fingers from you and stood up. "Fuck, I love watching you cum, baby."

 You were still too out of it to even form words but you found yourself whining. He chuckled above you as you watched him toe off his boots, and slowly undo his jeans and push them and his boxer briefs down his thick thighs. He bent over to pull them and his socks completely off and then stood in front of you completely bare. 

You could swear that your mouth watered at the sight of his thick cock standing proudly at attention. You rose your hand and crooked your finger to beckon him to you. You felt the bed dip as he moved up your body. His lips finally met yours and you could still taste yourself on him.

 You snaked one hand between your bodies and wrapped your fingers around him and slowly started to your hand up and down. You ran your hand up and ran your thumb over tip, feeling the pre cum that had gathered there. Dean started to trail sloppy kisses down the side of your neck as you lined him up with your entrance. 

You both moaned as he started to slowly sink inside. "Fuck baby, so wet and so fuckin' tight." he mumbled into the side of your neck. He continued to move slowly until his body was flush with yours and then he stilled his movement and took a deep breath.

 You tried to buck your hips to get him to move but he remained still. "Fuck De, I need you to move. I need you to fuck me." 

He brought his lips to yours once more and slowly started to move. He kept a slow pace at first, lips never leaving yours as he tried to savor the moment. You broke the kiss, "Please baby, I need you to fuck me hard." you whined. 

Dean placed a gentle kiss to your lips before pushing himself up on his knees, hooking your legs over his arms and quickly thrusting inside in one hard motion. You gasped and sucked in a breath. You brought you hands to your breasts and pulled at your nipples as he pounded into you. "God, you are so fucking hot." he rasped out. 

He could feel you tightening against him and knew that you were close. He also knew he wasn't going to last much longer at this pace and quickly brought one hand down to rub tight circles on your clit. 

You bucked your hips one final time and let out a silent scream as your orgasm rushed through you. You felt your pussy squeezing Dean's cock and felt his pace falter. Before you could say anything he quickly pulled out and spurted strands of hot cum against your stomach. 

You both took a few deep ragged breaths as he reached to the floor and grabbed his shirt to clean you up. He tossed the shirt back on the floor and slowly crawled next to you and flopped on his back. "That was fuckin'..." he started. 

"Amazing." you finished for him. 

You watched as he settled himself on the pillow and then grabbed the cover from the bottom of the bed and started to pull it up. He stopped mid way and looked over at you, "C'mere." 

You slowly blinked open your eyes, "I don't even know if I can move right now." 

He chuckled before pulling you up into his side. You laid your head on his chest as he wrapped his arm around you. You felt him press a kiss against your forehead and smiled as you slowly ran your finger up and down his chest. 

You both lay in comfortable silence for a moment before you moved and looked up at him through your lashes. "Round 2?" you questioned as you pushed yourself on top of him. 

"Seriously woman? Are you trying to kill me?" he asked. 

 You giggled and continued to work your way down his body placing kisses down his chest as you went. You pulled the cover up over you and settled between his legs, and  quickly popped your head up and winked at him, "Oh, but wouldn't it be a fun way to go."

 Dean groaned, "You are gonna be the death of me."

[queenofcats17]

Vandren’s Asshole Snake

Based on this post by first @feyfrumpkin and then @sockablock

Enjoy the misadventures of these idiots petsitting (and losing) Vandren’s asshole snake

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fjord had not thought this through. Not completely, at least. But when Vandren asked him to do something, he did so without a second thought. He knew he didn’t need to. Vandren would have understood if he’d said no. But Fjord had agreed and now he was stuck taking care of Vandren’s snake Uk’otoa while Vandren went on a sailing holiday. Vandren had promised he wouldn’t be gone more than a week, but it was hard to tell. Vandren liked wandering when he was at sea. That wasn’t the point, though. The point was that Fjord was stuck watching this asshole snake for however long Vandren was gone. 

Fjord had gotten it into his head that he could do this up until he was alone with Uk’otoa. After all, Caduceus had told him that it would be fine.

“Taking care of an animal is a wonderful learning experience.” He’d said. “I think it would do you a lot of good.”

“But what if I fuck it up?” Fjord had asked. “What if it dies?”

“I’m confident you won’t kill him.” Caduceus had assured him with one of his low rumbling laughs. “But if you end up having trouble, I’ll do my best to help you.” As usual, Caduceus’ words had soothed Fjord’s anxieties. It would be fine, he told himself. He could do this. 

At first, it had seemed like he could do it. Uk’otoa had been perfectly well-behaved while Vandren was dropping him off. Thankfully, Vandren had written up some instructions for taking care of the snake, so it wasn’t as though Fjord was going in blind. Unfortunately, the second Vandren walked out the door, Uk’otoa turned on Fjord. He’d hissed, tried to bite Fjord, tried to escape.

“Cad. Help.” Fjord hissed into the phone, eyes darting over to where the snake was glaring at him. 

“What’s wrong?” Caduceus asked. As usual, his tone was calm and even. He’d left to buy some groceries before Vandren had arrived and thus hadn’t yet experienced the terror the snake was capable of. 

“I shouldn’t have agreed to this. The snake is evil.”

“Now, I’m sure he’s just nervous at being left with someone new. He’ll calm down once you give him some time to settle in.”

“No, you don’t understand. It. Is. Evil.” 

Uk’otoa had settled on a rock, staring intently at Fjord. Fjord hadn’t known snakes were capable of expressing that much disdain in only a look. He was curled up, tail flicking back and forth. Fjord had weighed down the top of the tank with the heaviest books he could find after Uk’otoa had slammed his body against the top in an attempt to dislodge it and escape. The heat lamp had been knocked over once or twice, but thankfully hadn’t burned anything.

“Look, I’ll be back in a little bit. Just sit tight,” Caduceus said. “You’re obviously feeling stressed. Why don’t you make some tea while you wait? I got a new blend at the farmer’s market last weekend.” Fjord just groaned and let Caduceus hang up. Well, at least when the firbolg got back he’d see how evil the snake truly was.

Fifteen minutes later, Caduceus arrived home with the groceries. Fjord hadn’t made any tea, instead sitting down on their admittedly rather beat-up couch to engage in a staring contest with Uk’otoa. The snake had tried a few more times to ram the lid open before deciding he was stuck for the moment and curling on the rock again. Fjord hadn’t wanted to leave the room lest Uk’otoa actually manage to get out.

“He seems to have calmed down,” Caduceus said, casting a glance toward the tank.

“He’s biding his time.” Fjord murmured. 

“I think you might be projecting.” Caduceus laughed. “Animals can’t really be evil.”

“It’s evil. You’ll see.” Fjord whispered. “You’ll see...” He had the sort of thousand-yard stare one associated with great trauma. Caduceus chuckled to himself, heading to the kitchen to put the groceries away. When he returned, he was carrying two cups of tea. 

“Here, drink this.” He handed one cup to Fjord, putting the other on the table. “It should help calm you down.”

“I’m perfectly calm!” Fjord protested. Even as he said this, though, his voice cracked.

“Sure you are.” Caduceus gave him one of his gentle smiles. Then he turned his attention to the tank. He knelt down, tapping a finger against the glass. 

“Hey there, little guy.” He said. “How’s it going?” Uk’otoa narrowed his eyes, tongue flicking out. 

“I know you’re probably scared because you’re in a new environment, but we’re not gonna hurt you.” He continued, giving the snake a comforting smile. 

Caduceus’ voice may have calmed everyone and everything, but it was not calming Uk’otoa. As soon as Caduceus removed the books weighing the mesh cover down, the snake rammed it in an attempt to throw the firbolg off guard and escape. This had the opposite effect, as Caduceus’ reaction to this was to yell and slam the cover back on. Quickly, he put the books back and turned back to Fjord.

“We need to get rid of it.” 

“As much as I appreciate that you believe me, I can’t just get rid of him now!” Fjord said. “Vandren left an hour ago! He’s probably already set sail!”

“Then call him!” Caduceus hissed, eyes darting fearfully back to Uk’otoa. 

“How?!” Fjord threw his hands up in desperation. “He doesn’t even have a cell phone!”

“He doesn’t?” Caduceus frowned. “Then how do you get in contact with him?”

“He’s got an old landline he uses.”

“And when he’s not near the landline?”

“You just hope he’s not dead or something.”

Caduceus stared at him for a moment. “You have strange friends.”

“Like you’re one to talk.” Fjord grumbled. Caduceus’ family were some of the weirdest people Fjord had ever met and he absolutely had no right to judge. Caduceus gave him one of his patented ‘Southern Belle’ judgment looks, folding his arms. 

“Anyway, what are we gonna do about this?” Fjord asked, subtly jerking his head back toward the tank. Caduceus didn’t immediately answer, beginning to worry with his tail as he thought.

The apartment was agonizingly silent as the two of them frantically tried to figure out some way to deal with Uk’otoa. 

“Isn’t Mollymauk home?” Caduceus suddenly asked, his eyes lighting up.

“Molly? What does he have to do with this?” Fjord asked. 

“He worked at the circus, didn’t he? And if he worked at the circus, he might have worked with animals.” Caduceus gestured back to Uk’otoa, who may or may not have been flipping them off with his tail. 

“Oh, shit! Yeah!” Fjord’s eyes widened. 

Mollymauk had worked in the circus for a time, although he hadn’t actually had any animal handling experience. This didn’t particularly matter to either Fjord or Caduceus at the moment, though.

“Watch him.” Fjord said to Caduceus before bolting to Mollymauk’s room and pounding on the door. 

“I’m up! I’m up! Stop it!” Molly’s voice came from inside. After a few minutes of shuffling, Molly opened the door in a purple robe. A very small purple robe that he was absolutely not wearing anything under. Had Fjord not been living with Molly for a few years, this might have flustered him. At this point, they’d all seen each other naked and none of them cared.  

“What?” Molly asked, stifling a yawn. 

“You gotta help. The snake’s evil.”

“Snake?” Molly frowned for a moment before recognition crossed his features. “Vandren dropped off his snake?” Fjord was pretty sure he didn’t like the mischevious glow developing in Molly’s eyes. 

“Yeah, and it’s evil,” Fjord said. “Deucy already tried to do his weird animal magic on it and it didn’t work.”

“Mm. I see.” Molly nodded, but it was clear he wasn’t listening. The gears were turning in his mind, probably toward some plan Fjord wasn’t going to like.

“Look, did you work with animals at the circus?” Fjord asked as Molly turned away and started digging through his drawers. 

“Oh no. I wasn’t allowed near the animals after I almost got disemboweled by a lion.” Molly started throwing clothes onto his bed. “I probably would’ve died if Yasha hadn’t dragged it off of me.”

“Fuck,” Fjord muttered. They were well and truly screwed then. He didn’t want the snake around, Caduceus didn’t want the snake around. Molly would probably like it, but that was mostly because he didn’t seem to have much in the way of self-preservation. The ER staff were on a first-name basis with him. Fjord already felt like going and screaming in the woods.

“Molly, what’re you doing?” He asked when he noticed Molly had discarded his robe and was starting to pull on the clothes he’d thrown onto his bed. 

“It’s not every day we get a snake in the house.” Molly grinned back at Fjord. “Might as well make the most of it, mm?”

“Make the most of it...how?” Fjord was sure he didn’t want to know Molly’s answer. 

“Why, a photoshoot of course!” Molly proclaimed, striking a dramatic pose. He’d picked out a sparkly crop top, black jean shorts, and some striped leggings.

“No.” Fjord started to shake his head. “No, you are not taking that thing out of its tank.”

“Oh, come on, Fjord.” Molly draped himself over Fjord’s shoulder. “When are we going to get another chance like this? A chance to make something beautiful~” He punctuated his last word with a grand hand gesture. 

“It’s gonna bite you.” Fjord insisted.

“It’ll be fine.” Molly scoffed, pushing off of Fjord. “I doubt Vandren would keep a venomous snake around.”

Uk’otoa was, in fact, extremely venomous. The only reason he hadn’t killed anyone was that he liked Vandren enough not to make trouble too much. But his distaste for Fjord outweighed his fondness for Vandren.

Caduceus was watching Uk’otoa from behind the couch when Fjord and Molly reentered the living room. Molly had gotten out the Polaroid camera he’d scavenged from a thrift shop and only brought out for ‘special occasions’. 

“Have no fear, your god has arrived!” Molly announced, striding in.

“Are you going to get rid of the snake?” Caduceus asked. “Please say you’re going to get rid of the snake.”

“Why would I get rid of it?” Molly laughed.

“Because it’s evil and wants to kill us while we sleep?” Fjord suggested. 

“Don’t you two have any sense of adventure?” Molly leaned on the back of the couch. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!” Caduceus stared blankly at him. He’d only really understood that Molly was not going to be getting rid of the snake.

“He wants to take pictures with the snake,” Fjord said.

“Mollymauk, that’s rather dangerous.” Caduceus chided him. “You could get bitten.”

“He won’t bite me.” Molly scoffed. Spoken like a man who had forgotten he’d gone to the ER last month for a snake bite. 

“But what if it does?” Caduceus insisted. 

“Then I’ll go to the ER. It’ll be fine.” Molly waved a hand dismissively. “Come on!”

“We’re all gonna die.” Fjord groaned. 

Molly did end up convincing them to let him have a photoshoot with the snake. It took about an hour, but he managed it. Caduceus was still trying to get Fjord to get rid of the snake as the two of them set up a makeshift background. Molly, meanwhile, got out some props and inspected Uk’otoa to see what colors he needed to use. 

“You know, I think you might be the better candidate to pose with it.” He said, glancing back at Fjord. “Your skin looks better with its colors.”

“Wha-! Me?!” Fjord almost dropped the plastic plant he’d been shoving in a pot. “But it hates me!”

“I’m sure it doesn’t hate you.” Molly scoffed. 

Uk’otoa did hate him. But it was a clever snake. It bided its time, watching and waiting as Mollymauk arranged it around Fjord’s shoulders. Molly had insisted Fjord be shirtless for the photos, which did not make Fjord feel better about the whole thing. (”This is givin’ it more skin to bite!”) But Uk’otoa didn’t strike yet. No. It waited until Molly had retreated to take the pictures and Caduceus had moved to go make some more tea. Then...Then it struck. 

Fjord let out a shriek that sounded rather like a little girl as Uk’otoa sunk its fangs into the soft flesh of Fjord’s shoulder. It decided not to use its venom this time. Vandren didn’t like it when it killed people. Fjord flailed, tossing Uk’otoa to the ground. Both Caduceus and Molly ran to Fjord’s side, allowing Uk’otoa to slither under the couch. 

“Oh, shit! Are you alright?” Molly asked. 

“I’m gonna die!” Fjord yelled, starting to hyperventilate. 

“Calm down.” Caduceus put a large hand on his unbitten shoulder. “Take some deep breaths. Freaking out isn’t going to do you any good.”

“O-Okay.” Fjord took a few deep breaths, but his eyes continued to dart back toward the bite wound. 

“Let me just get my first aid kit, alright?” Caduceus’ voice remained calm and even. “I think I’ve still got some extra antivenom around.” 

“Okay.” Fjord squeaked. Caduceus nodded, moving away to find his first aid kit. 

“Sorry.” Molly smiled sheepishly. “I, uh, I didn’t think it’d bite you.”

“I told you it was evil.” Fjord grumbled, hunching his shoulders. 

“Yeah, I can tell.”

As Caduceus was returning with his kit, there was the sound of heavy footsteps outside and the door was slammed open. Beauregard came charging in, holding a baseball bat.

“I heard screaming! Who’s getting murdered!” She looked around, ready to kick someone’s ass. She lowered her bat when she saw Fjord, Caduceus, and Molly all standing there, unmurdered and mostly fine. “Dude...Why’s your shirt off?” 

“Is everyone okay?” Jester poked her head in behind her. “There was an awful lot of yelling.”

“Everyone’s fine.” Caduceus smiled gently. “We just had a little bit of a mishap with Fjord’s friend’s snake.”

“Still not telling me why Fjord’s not wearing a shirt.” Beau pointed her bat at Fjord. 

“I wanted to do a photoshoot with the snake,” Molly explained. “Fjord’s skin tone looked best with it and I thought it would look better if he was shirtless for the pictures.”

“Oh, that’s so fun!” Jester chirped. “Like that photoshoot you did with me and Sprinkles last year!”

“I told him it was gonna bite me.” Fjord said. 

“Yes, you did.” Caduceus bent down next to him, starting to clean the wound. “The good news is, I don’t think it’s venomous. You’d probably be dead if it was.”

“Well, I’m really glad you’re not dead.” Jester sat down on the couch. “That would suck.”

“I hear dying by venom’s pretty painful.” Beau sat down next to her. “Wouldn’t want to go out like that.”

Unnoticed by everyone, Jester had forgotten to close the door, allowing Uk’otoa to slip away. Until about ten minutes later, when all their phones pinged. 

“Oh hey! Yasha texted us!” Jester said, her tail starting to wiggle happily. 

“In the group chat?” Molly asked, already on the way back to his room to get his phone. His shorts didn’t really have great pockets. 

Everyone else opened up the message to see what Yasha had to say. She’d sent a message saying, ‘hey, look at this snake I saw outside,’ followed by a photo of herself leaning down and doing the peace sign behind a very familiar snake. 

“That’s a weird-ass snake.” Beau frowned. “Look at those weird yellow spots. They look like eyes.”

“They do kinda look like eyes.” Jester agreed. 

“Oh fuck.” Fjord looked about to pass out.

“You okay?” Beau asked, suddenly a bit worried. 

“That’s Uk’otoa! He got out!” Fjord pointed frantically at the picture. 

“He got out?” Molly reappeared. His gaze went to the still open door. “Oh. Okay, that makes sense.”

“Is that really such a bad thing?” Caduceus asked with a slightly nervous smile. “It might be happier outdoors.” 

“Vandren’s gonna kill me if he finds out it got away!” Fjord clambered to get his jacket and shoes. Caduceus sighed heavily, shoulders slumping in defeat. He really didn’t want the snake back in the apartment. But, he appreciated that Fjord was trying to be responsible.

“Do you want us to help find him?” Jester asked, getting up to stand near Fjord. “I don’t want you to get in trouble with Vandren.” They’d all heard stories about Vandren’s temper and none of them wanted Fjord to be on the receiving end of it. She put a hand on Fjord’s shoulder.

“That’d be nice, thanks, Jessie.” Fjord calmed a bit at Jester’s touch. 

“I think that Zemnian guy downstairs has a cat,” Beau said, getting up too. “He’s gotta know something about catching animals, right? Let’s go ask him to help.”

“He does!” Molly immediately perked up. “Let’s go see him. It’s been forever since I petted Frumpkin.”

“I’ve been meaning to return that book he lent me.” Caduceus agreed, disappearing into his room to find said book.

Once Caduceus had found the book, the group made their way down to Caleb’s apartment. He could hear them coming before they even reached his floor. They weren’t exactly a quiet group. He didn’t rouse himself from his spot on the couch until they knocked on his door, though. 

“Ja?” He opened the door with Frumpkin curled around his shoulders. 

“Mr. Caleb~” Mollymauk smiled wide. “Such a pleasure to see you~ And hello to you, Frumpkin!” He gave Frumpkin a scratch under the chin, which elicited a purr.

“Ah, Mr. Mollymauk.” Caleb smiled back, a tad tentatively. “How can I help you and your, er, friends?” He peered past Molly at the others crammed into the hallway. 

“You know how to catch animals, right?” Beau asked. 

Caleb stared blankly at her. “Excuse me?”

“Fjord’s pet-sitting for his friend and we kinda lost his snake.” Jester explained. “We thought you could help us find him again!”

“And I wanted to give this back to you.” Caduceus handed the book off to him. Caleb continued to stare blankly at them, now holding the book. 

“I...do not have much experience with animals of the reptile variety.” He finally said. 

“But,” he quickly added as he saw Fjord begin to panic. “I think I do know someone who can help.”

“You do?” Fjord’s eyes widened in hope. 

“We’ll meet you at the park in five minutes,” Caleb said before closing the door. 

Five minutes later, all of them were gathered in the nearby park, with Jester and Caduceus trying to keep Fjord calm in the meanwhile. He was still freaking out about losing the snake, even if he was kind of glad it wasn’t anywhere near him. Molly was taking advantage of this trip to the park by having a contest with Beau to see which of them could swing higher. 

“Oh, look! It’s Caleb!” Jester suddenly said, pointing. Sure enough, Caleb was walking up with his roommate, Nott. Nott was wearing a pair of rubber gloves, an apron, and thick lab goggles, balancing a massive net in her hands. It was both extremely silly, and also rather impressive.

“We are here,” Caleb announced. 

Everyone stared at Nott, who looked incredulously at Fjord.

“Really? You let a snake get away?” She said. “Those things don’t even have legs. You suck.”

“Just help me get the snake back, please,” Fjord begged.

About an hour later, Uk’otoa was back in his tank and not very happy about it. And, thankfully for everyone, Vandren returned a few days later because he’d forgotten something and the snake was quickly given back to him. Everyone made Fjord promise never to do something like that again. 

[trade-baby-blues]

Georgia Gal

Pairing: Bones x (Southern!)Reader

Word Count: 1914

Warnings: Some swearing, general bar creeps

A/N: Not my first fic ever but my first Bones fic! Very loosely inspired by Ed Sheeran’s “Galway Girl” (maybe if you squint?). Let me know what you guys think!! 

You weren't quite sure how you kept ending up in this situation - settled in alone a noisy bar with your friends long gone and tongue deep in strangers by now.

"I need to find better friends," you muttered to yourself as you knocked back what was left of your drink.

"Well, then it's lucky I'm here" came a cocky voice from your right.

You put on your best smile, wondering just how many free drinks you could score tonight before the whole bar caught on. You grazed your eyes up and down the man in front of you. Oh, he was definitely a looker but the whole blond hair blue eyes thing never really did it for you. "I'd feel luckier if my glass weren't empty," you said.

"What are you having?"

"Whiskey. Neat."

The blonde smiled and licked his lips before tearing his eyes away from you and motioning to the bartender. "Do I get to know your name then, or am I gonna have to make one up?"

You smile around your drink as you take a sip. "And how many times has that line worked for you exactly?"

"I'm just hoping it works for me tonight."

You had to give the man credit. His smile didn't even falter. "Name's Georgia," you said, letting your old Southern twang creep out.

"Jim Kirk, and I'd say you're just as pretty as the state, doll."

You scoffed. "Ain't nothing in Georgia but trees and cows. Unless you're trying to call me cow, Jim Kirk." You peered at him out of the corner of your eye, happy to see him fumble for a moment.

"More like sweet as a peach."

"I'm allergic to peaches," you said, hopping off the barstool.

"Well I am quite practiced at mouth to mouth."

You laughed at the man's persistence. "I'm not sure that's how that works."

"Why don't we test it out?"

"My fiancé is a doctor, so I think I'll just ask him, but thanks for the drink Jim Kirk."

You tip your glass to Jim in a mock salute and walk toward the tables. When you spare a glance back, Jim had already moved onto his next victim.

You were broken out of your reverie by a drunken arm slinging around you and a man slurring out "Hey there sexy. Whaddya say yous and me get outta here?"

You glanced around the room, looking desperately for your friends but they were nowhere to be found. Your eyes settled instead on a dark-haired man sitting by himself at a table, holding a half empty glass of dark liquor. God he looked grumpy.

"Thanks, but I think my boyfriend would protest," you said, shoving the drunk man off and walking over to the table with the dark haired man.

    He looked quizzically at you when he finally noticed you approaching, but you raised your hand to stop him before you speak.

"Look, hun," you started, your accent coming out thick, "I'm not interested in whatever magical night you can give me. My friends ditched me and I'm tired of creeps hitting on me so do me a solid and pretend to be my boyfriend and I'll buy your next few round, okay?"

When he spoke, his accent came out almost as deep as yours: "Well, I can't say no to that, darlin', but tell me, what's a Southern belle like you doin' in a sketchy bar in San Francisco?"If the jawline wasn't enough to get you hooked, that accent had you melting.

“Getting ditched by my friends apparently,” you said, trying to remember anything about flirting, “What about you? Not every day a gal runs into a fine Southern gentleman."

"Oh sweetheart," he said, eyes growing dark, "I'm no gentleman."

Your heart leapt to your throat and you shifted in your seat, hoping the flush that ran through your body wasn't as obvious as it felt. Judging by the smirk on the stranger's face, you guessed it was. You thought about leaving again but his honeyed voice pulled you out of your racing thoughts. "If you want to be your fake boyfriend, I really outta know your name. Mine’s Leonard."

"Y/N, but you never answered my question. San Francisco's a long way from Georgia."

"How did you know-"

You cut Leonard off with a wave of your hand, "You can't spend more’n 20 years of your life in Georgia and not recognize the accent. Gotta say, though, you're a lot better lookin' than my neighbors." Leonard laughed and you swore you fell in love. "What," you said, your own smiling turning up at him.

"Nothing, darlin'. Just wish I met you before my ex-wife. You're a sight sweeter."

"Let me guess, she took the state in the divorce? Sent you running out here?"

"She’d’ve had the whole damn planet if she had her way. Lucky for her, Starfleet has me up there all the damn time." Leonard waved his hand angrily, and you couldn't help but giggle.

"Oh come on, Len, you talk like space isn't the greatest place.."

"Yeah if you've got a death wish."

"Maybe you just need a better pilot."

"What I need is another drink," Leonard said, grabbing his glass and yours. "What're you havin'?"

"Jack, neat."

"A woman after my own heart." Leonard gave you a wink before heading to the bar grinning wider than he had in a long time. His scowl returned briefly when Jim tried to drag him away to introduce him to whatever girl caught his fancy that night, but it was easy enough to brush him away.

Returning with two glasses of whiskey in hand, Leonard’s felt a brief wave of panic when he looked back to the table and you were gone. He told himself you probably went to the bathroom. Keep it together, Leonard. You just met this girl. Ain’t like she’s tied to you anyway. Leonard was so wrapped up in his thoughts he almost spilled the whiskey down his front when you wrapped your arm around his waist.

“Been waiting for you to get back, babe,” you purred, tipping your head towards a group of guys still looking at you. The quickly turned away when they saw Leonard’s scowl and you stood on your toes to kiss his cheek.

“‘S’your own damn fault for being so gorgeous,” Leonard teased, kissing the top of your head as if he’d done it a hundred times before. The motion felt natural.

“Must be all that ol’ fashioned Georgia sunshine,” you smiled, taking the whiskey from Leonard's hand and lacing your fingers with his, pulling him towards the dartboard at the back of the bar. “Tell me, Len, you any good at darts?”

   Leonard snorted again, and you thought it was the most beautiful sound in the world. “Am I any good at darts? I’ve got the steadiest hands in the whole damn fleet, darlin’.”

“Steady hands doesn't mean good aim, but since you're so confident why don't we raise the stakes?”

Leonard quirked an eyebrow up at your fake innocent smile. “Fine, but when I win you’re buying the next round since that was our deal in the first place.”

“Fair enough,” you laughed, “but when I win you've gotta dance with me.”

“In case you haven't noticed, there ain't exactly a dance floor here.”

“Don't need a dance floor to dance, Len. Unless you're just scared I’ll win.”

Leonard grumbled to himself. Something about no self respecting southern man losing at darts, but you were too busy trying not to laugh at his scowl that you didn't really catch it. He readied himself in front of the board and started throwing.

A few rounds later and Leonard threw in the towel. “Fine! So you beat me at darts! I’m a doctor not a damn dart champion.” He threw himself into his chair with a huff. You coughed to get his attention but he refused to look at you, concentrating instead on the leftover whiskey in his glass.

“Leonard McCoy we had a bet. Time to pay up.”

“Aw come on. This ain't even a good dancing song.” As Leonard finished his sentence, the song changed, starting with a slow beat.

Leonard recognized the shit-eating grin on your face as the lyrics started. “No, no, please don't,” he begged. You had other plans.

Using your glass as a microphone you started crooning, “Like red on a rose when your lips first smiled at me.” Leonard groaned and buried his head in his hands. “I was captured instantly. Oh come on sourpuss, tell me you never danced to this song growin’ up.”

Leonard glared up at you, but his mood softened when he saw how excited you were. He begrudgingly stood and offered you his hand before pulling you in close to him. “People are gonna stare,” he mumbled.

“So let ‘em,” you said, staring into Leonard’s beautiful brown eyes. “They're just jealous they don't getta dance with the best lookin’ guy in the bar.”

   You tightened your arms around Leonard's neck, bringing your fingers up to card through Leonard’s hair. You felt his breath catch as you leaned closer to him eyes dropping to his lips. Leonard closed the distance, and you were unsurprised to find he tasted like whiskey and something sweet. His hands dropped lower on your hips as he pulled you closer to him. Everything but the feeling of your body on his left Leonard’s mind. It was like you were the only two in the room.

   “What the hell Bones?!” A familiar voice broke you out of your reverie. You rested your forehead against Leonard’s chest, smiling when you felt the rumble of his groan.

   “Can't you see I’m a little busy, Jim?” With that you looked up and you paled as you locked eyes with the same blond from earlier.

   Jim looked at you stunned. “You don't think you could've mentioned you were meeting your fiancé? I thought we were friends!”

   “Fiancé?”

   “Georgia said she was engaged to a doctor. Didn't say it was you, though.”

   “Who the hell is Georgia? This is Y/N.” Jim looked from you to Leonard and back like a lost puppy. It was the look that finally did you in. You tried to bury your laughter in Leonard’s chest but he held you at arm's length, demanding an explanation.

   “You remember how I said I was trying to escape creeps hitting on me,” you said between breaths. When Leonard nodded you jerked your thumb towards Jim.

    “I am not a creep,” Jim said. Leonard huffed out a laugh in response. “You’ve known her one night and you're already siding with her? You don't even know if Y/N is her real name. She told me it was Georgia.”

  “Since when do you care about knowin’ a girl’s real name,” scoffed Bones.

   “Y/N is my real name,” you interjected, “I always tell guys my name’s Georgia unless I plan on going home with them.” Leonard’s eyes shot down to you and you wink at him.

   “Right, well like I said, Jim, we’re a little busy.” Jim continued to look at the two of you flabbergasted. He threw his hands up in defeat and walked back into the arms of a waiting redhead.

   “Georgia, huh,” Leonard smirked.

   “Shut up,” you said, pulling him into another kiss. His hands roamed back around to your ass, squeezing slightly. “My pretty little Georgia gal,” he mumbled against your lips.

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