#the sound is ringing in her ears and her heart is pounding while she is platonically donating blood to Astarion and he is like “🤨”

[gale-gaze]

[ she falls in battle the next day immediately following her hearing Gale groan after getting hit and the entire camp raises a brow - she was at full health ]

[domjaehyun]

the boy is mine (l.dh) — part six

PAIRING. haechan x fem!reader GENRES. smut, angst WORD COUNT. 8.6k CONTENTS. infidelity, alcohol & weed consumption (MC is a non-smoker if that matters to you), explicit smut (dirty talk, fingering, finger sucking, oral (receiving), rimming (receiving), groping/frottage, marking, spit play, (brief) ear play, breast play, creampies/unprotected sex (if you explicitly need me, a stranger on the internet, to tell you not to fuck raw, you are not responsible enough to be reading this. move along now), snowballing, public sex, car sex, riding, bratty dom-leaning switch!haechan, bratty sub-leaning switch!reader, sweet dom!jeno, face riding, handjob, overstimulation (receiving), praise kink (receiving), light degradation kink (giving), mating press, morning sex) NOTES. here’s part six! thank you so much for reading this far!!! i hope you enjoy it!! please leave feedback if you liked it :) i would also greatly appreciate tips if you really liked it :3 THANK YOU LIKE THE HUUUUUGEST THANK YOU TO BRI (@jalitepng) FOR BETA READING THIS BIG OL FIC :D  PLAYLIST. the boy is mine - ariana grande // fantasize - ariana grande (unreleased) // lowkey (feat. erykah badu) - teyana taylor // agora hills - doja cat // pussy is mine - miguel // softest touch - khalid // cut - tori kelly // seatbelt - josh levi // often - doja cat // surrender - nbdy

You wake up abruptly to the sound of your phone ringing, and you reach over to answer the call, bringing the device to your ear. “Hello?” you rasp out, groggy as can be.

“Thank God you finally woke up! Listen, Winter’s on her way to your house.” Chaewon says in a panic, and you yawn, shrugging.

“Okay?”

“She’s on her way over there because Haechan broke up with her.” Chaewon says slowly enough for it to process in your freshly roused mind, and you sit up straight in your bed, now fully awake and alarmed.

“Oh, shit. Did he—”

“He told her about you two.” she confirms, and you curse under your breath, messing with your hair anxiously.

“What exactly did he tell her?” you say slowly, and from the hesitation on the other end, you know it’s not good. “Chae, tell me.”

“He told her you two have been fooling around for a while and that he can’t hold back anymore and keep pretending and he said he doesn’t want to be with her anymore.” she blurts out, and you gasp.

“When was this? What the fuck? Why wouldn’t he run it by me first—” you mutter, worriedly stumbling out of bed and starting to fix your appearance in the mirror of your vanity.

“It seemed like it was eating away at him, honestly.” Seulgi pipes up from the background, and you sigh in defeat. “He must really like you.”

“Yeah, or really not like her.” you mumble bitterly, flinching harshly at the sound of a fist pounding on your front door. “I gotta go—she’s here—”

“I know you’re in there!” Winter shrieks through the door, and you freeze mid-stride, not sure what the best course of action might be. “Why would you do this to me?” she cries, and your heart twists painfully as regret swims through you.

You silently pad to the door, placing your hand on the doorknob before retracting it and shaking your head to yourself. You already know what Winter looks like when she cries; an adorable kicked puppy, and you have no desire to see that face when you’re the one who caused it.

“I should have known by the way he looks at you.” she sniffles, and you swallow a thick lump in your very dry throat. “He never looked at me like that.”

You try to speak, but your voice is so hoarse from just waking up and the remorse practically clogging your throat that the sounds barely register as a faint squeak. Thankfully for you, Winter doesn’t seem to hear your attempt at a remark, the heartbroken girl crying softly on the other end.

“Now you won’t even answer me? That’s just great.” she remarks bitterly, and you look at the doorknob as if you’re expecting it to unlock itself magically and let Winter in to unleash a can of whoop-ass on you.

“Y’know, I really thought you were my friend.” she says softly, her voice cracking on the last word. “If it wasn’t obvious, I don’t ever want to hear from you again.”

You quietly rest your forehead on the door, eyes sliding shut as a hot, guilty tear threatens to slip past your closed lids.

“I hope you two are happy together.” Winter scoffs, a thud from the other end telling you she’s kicked your door in frustration. After what feels like ages of silence, you peek through the peephole to see her entering the elevator at the end of your hall and let out a tortured sigh of defeat.

You slowly start to drag yourself throughout your apartment, the guilt weighing you down like shackles as you get ready for work, only to be interrupted by a hesitant knock on your door.

When you look through the peephole, your heart speeds up in panic as you see a dejected-looking Jeno standing on the other side of your door. 

You take a deep breath and pull your door open, offering a feeble smile that, you notice with a pang, he struggles to return.

“Hi,” Jeno greets, despondent as he shifts to lean against your doorway.

“Hey,” you say slowly. 

“I heard.” he explains, and you nod, swallowing thickly. “I noticed Winter left the group chat, then when I asked her why, she told me I should ask you.”

You wince in anticipation of his next words. “So you came to ask me what happened?”

“No, she told me what happened.” Jeno clarifies. “I came because I have a different question.”

“Oh,” you mumble, moving back to let him into your apartment. “Well, do you want to come in to ask?”

He seems to think about it for a moment before shaking his head with a sad smile. “I’d rather not.”

Ouch. You try to hide your saddened expression by scratching at the side of your nose, but you’re not sure you were successful because Jeno’s expression shifts to guilt for a moment and you hate it. You hate that even when he’s coming to you from a place of hurt, he’s found it in himself to be selfless and care about you. 

“That’s fair,” you say too quickly after an awkward pause. “I respect it. What was your question?”

He looks uncomfortable now, shifting his weight from foot to foot before finally asking, “I was just wondering if, um… if you entertained me, I guess, as a distraction from him?”

Your eyes widen. “Jeno, no.”

“Was it to get back at him?” he asks hoarsely, and you shake your head vehemently.

“Not at all.”

“Did it mean… anything to you?” His voice cracks on the last word, and he averts his gaze, thumbing at his nose.

“Jeno, I always had a little thing for you, even before I met Haechan. I did—do like you, I really do! I just—” you rush to explain, but Jeno cuts you off with a hand raised in a silent request for you to stop talking.

“You just… like Haechan more.” he says with a sad sort of acceptance and understanding that breaks your heart.

“Jeno, I am so sorry.” you whisper. “I don’t expect you to forgive me—”

“But I want to.”

“But you don’t have to.” you assure him. “It was never my intent to make you feel used, so I am so sorry I did.”

“It’s o–” he starts, but you shush him.

“Don’t say it’s okay until you’ve had time to think about it.” you insist.

“Yeah… yeah, I think I do need time,” he slowly agrees. “I just need to, like, get over this because,” he lets out a humorless laugh, “I really liked you.”

You’re not gonna lie; the past tense hurts you to hear. You do your best to take it on the chin with a small nod and apologetic smile, but look away to prevent Jeno from noticing the glassy shine of your eyes.

“I’m sorry, again, and I’m even more sorry for this, but I kind of have to finish getting ready for work.” you say carefully, and Jeno’s eyes flash with realization before he’s nodding and backing away from your door. 

“No problem, I’ll, uh… see you around, I guess.” he says with an awkward wave before turning and heading to your elevator and pressing the button. 

Shutting the door, you take a deep, shaky breath before wiping the single tear that you failed to hold back and continuing to get ready.

Apparently, there really isn’t any rest for the wicked, because as you’re now rushing to get ready for work after your horrible start to your morning, your doorbell rings.

“With my luck, it’s gonna be some goons Winter sent to beat me up,” you lament sadly as you walk to your door and peek through the peephole.

To your surprise and sudden onset irritation, Haechan is standing at your door, hands clasped behind his back and teeth nibbling his bottom lip nervously.

You fling open your door and stare at him, incredulous and outraged with your hand on your hip, and he winces.

“I’m guessing you heard the news,” he says sheepishly, and you just stare at him, slowly simmering in your fury.

“You… ruined… everything.” you say slowly, and he frowns. “You—I—first of all, Winter and Jeno have already stopped by here to give me a piece of their mind, so I really feel like the Worst Person in the World right now.”

His eyes widen. “You talked to Winter?”

“She talked at me through my front door because I was too much of a coward to open it,” you mutter bitterly, and he frowns deeply. “She hates me now, as you might imagine.”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he says quietly, and you scoff.

“Doesn’t really matter now, does it?” you huff. “You weren’t supposed to tell her you were dumping her for me! You were just supposed to break up with her without bringing me into it! Why wouldn’t you run this by me first?”

“Well—I didn’t think about that,” he stammers.

You scowl. “And this is why you should have brought it up to me first. So I wouldn’t have woken up to being blindsided by being blocked and verbally dragged through the mud by your rightfully scorned ex-girlfriend and my ex-friend—and then being guilt-tripped to the maximum as I apologize profusely to the absolutely wounded sweetheart that was Jeno Lee in my apartment earlier for, essentially, leading him on and breaking his little puppy heart.”

Haechan looks pained. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Really, honestly.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose and breathe in and out deeply. “What possessed you to do that?”

“It just kinda… blurted out. I felt like I couldn’t stop, and once I’d started talking, it was too late to take any of it back.” he says hesitantly.

“I should have known this would end badly,” you moan in anguish, and you miss the look of hurt Haechan shoots you.

“End?” he asks, but you’ve already moved on to your next topic.

“I should have known when you met me and your first instinct was to lie to me—”

“I explained myself back then!”

“—and pretend you didn’t have a girlfriend. You didn’t seem to have a hard time withholding that information, did you?”

“That’s not fair,” he replies hoarsely, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

“She told me she hates me, I’m a terrible friend, and she never wants to see me again.” you whisper sadly. “And she’s right! I am a terrible friend, and she should hate me and never want to see me again.”

“In your defense, you were only a bad friend to her; you’re not a bad friend overall.” Haechan adds in an attempt to be helpful, but he balks when you glower at him.

“‘Bad friend’ might be subjective, but you know what’s not? ‘Homewrecker.’” you counter. “I might as well have the words ‘dirty man stealer’ written on my forehead because by the time word gets around, that’s all everyone’s gonna know me as.”

“Please stop catastrophizing,” Haechan tries to comfort you, reaching forward to take your hand, but you pull back slightly, folding your arms over your chest and looking down at your feet to avoid the wounded look you know Haechan’s sporting right now. “Listen,” he says firmly, and you huff. “I didn’t do all this—didn’t come this far just to lose you. I broke up with her for you. I broke up with her to be with you. You think, after getting to know me, that I’m just gonna stop trying to get you to let me in?”

“This is just—Haechan, it’s too risky—I’m so scared—” you whimper, and he places his hands on your shoulders, drawing your attention to his concerned expression.

“This is the type of risk you should be taking!” Haechan insists. “Give me time to gain your trust.”

“Haechan, you’re the most risky part about all of this! You cheated on your last girlfriend!”

Hurt flashes across his face for a moment, but he doesn’t release you. “So are you saying ‘once a cheater, always a cheater?’ Are you saying that I sealed my fate as a cheater and don’t deserve a chance at love and happiness?”

“Well, no, I’m saying this is all just… a very high-risk situation… that I’m not sure I can handle.” you say carefully, but apparently, you weren’t careful enough, because he steps back in surprise, recoiling almost as if you’d slapped him.

“I’m too risky.” he says slowly, realization and hurt creeping into his expression.

You hate to see him like this, but you can’t take back anything you’ve said, and, unfortunately, you are very much in a time crunch, as an alarm on your phone reminds you, ringing loudly to give you your warning to head out.

“Haechan, I— I have work in like an hour, I have to go—” you plead, pushing between his shoulder blades to usher him out of your apartment. When you’re both standing outside, Haechan turns to look at you with an expression not unlike that of a kicked puppy, and you’re starting to get a little fed up with everyone having that expression when it comes to you..

“So we’re not gonna finish talking about this?” he pleads, and you shake your head vehemently, inching closer and closer to the elevator door.

“We’re gonna talk about this,” you promise him, finally pressing the elevator button once you’re in reach of it, and he frowns deeply. “Just not right now.” 

The door opens a moment after, to your relief, but Haechan just remains rooted in place, you would guess due to being frozen with shock.

“Are you not coming?” you ask slightly impatiently, pulling up train times on your phone and sucking your teeth before opening the Uber app.

“I’m trying to figure out whatever this was that just happened.” Haechan responds loudly enough that you can hear him, but not so loud that he’s blasting your conversation to the ears of all your neighbors.

“Is that a no?” you stress, trying your best to emphasize the fact that you’re holding the elevator door open for him.

“It’s a no,” he confirms, a hint of sadness and defeat in his voice, and your heart pangs as you release the “Door Open” button on the elevator and the doors slide shut.

As the elevator descends to the ground floor, your heart makes a similar journey, sinking to what feels like the pit of your stomach and leaving you feeling desolate and almost hopeless as you fidget impatiently waiting for your Uber.

Even as your Uber driver pulls up in a sleek white Venza and you climb in and exchange pleasantries, you keep thinking about the look on Haechan’s face when you told him you were leaving. 

You will talk it out with him—you’ll make sure of that. But first, you need to clear your mind and organize your thoughts, and that can’t happen with him standing right in front of you.

“I just want to know what exactly you were thinking,” Seulgi sighs disappointedly. “Like, the whole time—did you just think you could keep seeing him behind her back forever?” she asks, and you wince.

“I wasn’t thinking about her.” you admit quietly, and Seulgi scoffs.

“Clearly! What you did was selfish—reckless—irresponsible, stupidly inconsiderate—”

“I get it.” you cut in gruffly.

“I don’t!” Seulgi exclaims, throwing her hands up in frustration. Yunjin catches your eye from her arm chair and something about the sympathetic gaze in her eyes brings you closer and closer to breaking down. “You weren’t thinking about her, obviously, so what were you thinking about?”

“I don’t know—”

“Yes, you do.” Seulgi says sternly.

“I don’t—”

“You do!”

“I was thinking about him, okay?” you snap, and she pauses, stunned. “I can’t explain myself, but the whole time, all I thought about was him, and how much I—” your voice catches in your throat and you stop talking to collect yourself.

“How much you… ?” Chaewon asks, and it’s the first time she’s spoken, a cursory glance in her direction revealing that she’s looking at you just as gently as Yunjin is, making the backs of your eyes hotter than before.

“How much I like him,” you confess in a wail, and Yunjin moves from her seat to sit beside you, pulling you into her embrace as you sniffle. “I like him so much, guys. He walks into a room and I, like, can’t look away. It’s like he’s magnetic or something, or like—like—” you stammer and Yunjin places her hand on yours gently.

“Like you might be falling in love with him?” she asks softly, and you freeze before fresh tears well up in your eyes and threaten to spill over.

“Like that,” you agree pathetically, tucking your head into her neck sadly, and she tuts sympathetically, resting her cheek on the top of your head as she continues to hug you. 

“I just—” Seulgi starts before taking a deep breath and restarting with a significantly gentler tone, “I don’t understand when this started exactly.”

You take a deep breath and look at Yunjin, the two of you exchanging meaningful glances.

“You know the welcome home party we had when I came back from Oxford?” you attempt to jog her memory, and she looks thoughtful before nodding. “Remember my party crush that disappeared?” you continue, and she nods again, her eyes widening at your expectant expression as you wait for her to put two and two together. 

“It was him?” she asks in a whisper, and you nod.

“I didn’t know at first—”

“I had to tell her,” Yunjin butts in, coming to your defense, and your heart warms with gratitude for your friend. “She didn’t want anything to do with him, but I guess he wasn’t done with her.”

“Well, don’t paint him as this cunning, evil mastermind,” you say carefully, frowning. “We connected. He couldn’t shake the connection. I should have pushed him away more.”

“But you liked him from the start,” Yunjin points out, still defending you even from yourself. “And he knew. You two didn’t really stand a chance of this ending well.”

Seulgi looks between you and Yunjin with a heavy sigh before turning to Chaewon. “What do you think?”

“I think,” Chaewon says slowly, “in spite of my sapphic lifestyle and ways, I can tell why you like him. And I can see why he likes you. You two are cute together—Seulgi, don’t make that face, because you know it’s true. It’s sad it happened like this, but I think everything happens for a reason.” 

“So you think I should be with him or something?” you ask, surprised and confused and just a bit hopeful.

“I think this shouldn’t be the way to end it, if you do choose to end it. I think you should talk to him again.” she says wisely, and you nod thoughtfully.

“I guess I understand.” Seulgi finally chimes in, and you could practically faint with relief. “You’re basically, like, in love with him. And based on his behavior the other day—y’know, breaking up with Winter—he must love you, too.”

“Well, let’s not jump the gun.” you chuckle hollowly. “I already told him we couldn’t talk about it when he showed up at my place, and I think he thinks I was ending things.”

“Well, were you?” Chaewon asks, and you pause to think before shaking your head slowly.

“I don’t think I was.” you realize in surprise, and Yunjin lets out a low whistle.

“So, how are we going to get your little lover boy back?” she asks, and you shrug hopelessly.

“He probably doesn’t even want to see me,” you sigh.

“We’ll figure that out later,” Seulgi says comfortingly, sitting down on the carpet in front of your knees. “I’m sorry for coming at your throat like that earlier,” she says with a sad smile. “I thought I had an idea of what was going on, but I was wrong.”

“It’s okay,” you reply with a small smile. “You were just making sure I wasn’t, like, a terrible person and a homewrecker.”

“You know what I wonder?” Chaewon says out of the blue. “If the guys are comforting Haechan.”

“I hope they are,” you reply immediately. “I hope he’s not alone in this.”

“Well, why don’t you ask them?” she supplies helpfully, and you think about it before nodding in agreement.

“I can do that,” you say resolutely, and she squeezes your hand with an encouraging smile. 

“Good,” she hums, “now can we talk about something less dreadful? Like girls, perhaps?”

“I agree on the topic change,” Seulgi adds immediately, and you snort. 

“We could watch a movie?” Yunjin suggests, and you sit up slightly in your spot.

“We could watch a classic movie about girls,” you add on, and it’s almost like everyone’s mind syncs up at once. “Like—”

“But I’m A Cheerleader?” Seulgi finishes hopefully, and you laugh before nodding. “I’m in!”

As Yunjin and Seulgi start to bustle around the kitchen and living room to prepare for your movie viewing, Chaewon scoots closer to you and rests her head on your shoulder.

“We’ll make it through this, you know,” she comforts you gently. “This feeling definitely isn’t permanent.”

Her words linger in your mind the whole night as you hope and pray she’s right.

“So,” Chenle remarks loudly, folding his hands over his omelet and regarding you carefully. “Let’s recap, shall we?”

“Oh, God,” you groan, putting your face in your hands.

“You knew it was coming,” Mark says with a sympathetic smile.

“In the past week,” Chenle recounts to your table, “Winter has gone completely AWOL, Jeno’s sulking, and Haechan is in the middle of a depressive episode.” He sits forward and eyes you intently. “How do you feel about all of this? What are you gonna do about it all?”

“I already talked to Jeno,” you point out.

“Yes, and may have worsened his sulking.” Chenle counters, and you scowl.

“Who invited this guy?”

“I think what he’s trying to say is that, except Jeno, the ball’s kind of in your court in both situations.”

“I think Winter’s final message was perfectly clear and, frankly, she deserves to have the last word.” you raise your hands in surrender, and Chenle rolls his eyes.

“Don’t you think she deserves an apology?” he butts in, and you frown.

“Of course she does,” you say, “but I didn’t think she wanted to hear from me again, so I’m probably never going to speak to her again if I can help it.” Chenle shoots you a disapproving look, and you continue with, “I’m not going to ask her to unblock me because I deserve it. I did a bad thing to her! I betrayed her!”

“Okay,” Mark relents on that front, choosing a new angle. “How about Haechan?”

You pause, considering your words carefully. “I… I really like Haechan. Like, I really like him, but I’m scared, because I feel like if he cheated on Winter with me, who’s to say he won’t find another me in someone else later down the line? It’s just a very… high-risk situation.” you sigh, not yet noticing the look your friends share before sitting forward.

“Did you happen to say that during your talk with Haechan?” Mark asks, and you cock your head to the side in confusion.

“Say what?”

“High-risk,” Chenle presses, and you think back before nodding. “That explains that, then.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask, confused.

“He, um. He keeps saying that. That he’s too high-risk to be with and what’s the point of it all anyway, and—” Mark says, but you hold your hand up to silence him. 

“I’ll talk to him,” you promise quietly, trying to hide the way your heart is breaking. “I never meant to hurt him. I’ll talk to him soon.”

“And Winter? You never meant to hurt her either, I’m guessing.” Chenle asks.

“I’ll talk to Winter if she can manage to look at me without attacking me.” you sigh. “But we don’t live near each other, don’t work together, and it’s not like we’re gonna run into each other in the middle of the street or anything.”

“That’s fair,” Chenle shrugs. “But you might. It’s not exactly a small city, but it’s likely.”

“Pfft, okay.” you scoff. “Can I finish my waffles now?”

Chenle gestures at your plate with his fork invitingly. “Dig in.”

The universe has a funny way of making you eat your words sometimes.

You’re walking around at the farmer’s market in search of fresh produce for you and Yunjin, when a familiar head of strawberry blonde hair catches your eye and makes you freeze.

“Oh, no,” you whisper to yourself, ducking behind a cart of mangoes. The man running the cart peers down at you curiously but, at the sight of your pleading expression, doesn’t protest. “Please keep walking,” you say hopefully, peering over the counter of the cart.

To your complete and utter dismay, not only is Winter in perfect eyesight of you still, but now you’re in perfect eyesight of her.

You two lock eyes and, frankly, you don’t know what to do. Recognition, then pain, then a flash of anger passes over Winter’s face before she settles on indifference and turns, walking away.

You stand up slowly, embarrassed, and smooth out the invisible wrinkles on your sundress, nodding gratefully at the still confused older man who you’ve joined behind the counter. “Thank you.”

“Welcome,” he replies, voice kind of gruff. “Would you like some mangoes?”

You pause, thinking. “Actually, I would.”

The universe must be feeling silly again, you think as you contemplate your current predicament. 

You’ve been walking around the farmer’s market with a general sense of anxiety and wariness, flinching at every redhead you see, and you’ve just finished checking over your shoulder to make sure she’s not about to run up behind you with a spear when you run directly into the very person you’re avoiding, Winter stumbling to the side from the impact before you steady her.

“Thanks,” she says with an awkward smile, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder.

“No problem,” you reply with a small smile, nodding uncomfortably. You two stare at each other and Winter opens her mouth as if to speak, but ultimately seems to decide against it and turns to leave. She gets about five feet away before you’re blurting out, “I’m sorry!”

She pauses mid-stride, and you take a deep breath. “I’m not asking for forgiveness because I don’t deserve it,” you say carefully, “but I want you to know that nothing about this was personal. It was selfish and horrible, but it was all about me and had nothing to do with hurting you. I can’t explain what happened because I don’t fully understand and I suspect you don’t want to hear it, but I really am sorry and it’s over now.”

She turns to face you finally, her brows raised in surprise. “It’s over?”

You nod resolutely.

“I mean—you’re right. I’m not gonna forgive you. I am gonna say, though, that from seeing you two together, like even when I had my suspicions, I… I get it.”

It’s your turn for your brows to shoot up in shock. “You get it?”

She nods with a small shrug. “Your connection is, like, electric. Like, it hurts for real, don’t get me wrong, and I definitely don’t forgive you, but I’d rather he break up with me to be with the love of his life than break up with me for no reason, y’know? Am I making sense? I guess what I’m saying is: you already did the bad thing… so you might as well reap the benefits of the bad thing and have a whirlwind of a relationship whether it ends well or not.”

You nod slowly, in a daze but still unwaveringly focused on one part of her response. “He said that?” you ask quietly, stunned.

Winter tilts her head to the side in confusion. “Said what?”

“That I’m the love of his life,” you repeat, awestruck. “He said that?”

Winter shifts her weight from one foot to the other, but nods. “Yeah.”

“Like those were his exact words?” you press as you move a bit closer.

Winter coughs uncomfortably into her fist, looking pained. “I’d rather not rehash every intimate detail of my boyfriend dumping me for my ex-friend… and I’d rather not do it to said ex-friend.” she explains, and you nod immediately, stepping back slightly in a silent apology for overstepping. 

“My bad,” you mumble, embarrassed.

“You’re fine,” she replies quietly, adjusting her bag strap again. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m saying it because, unfortunately for me, I still care about both of you. Give him another chance? I just… you two could be really good together and I don’t want to have suffered for nothing.”

Your nodding starts slow and builds until you feel more confident in your decision. “Thanks, Winter. I really am sorry.”

“Yeah,” she nods dismissively in response, and you purse your lips awkwardly. “Um, I’m gonna—” she gestures with her thumb over her shoulder.

“Sure! Yeah, me too. Take—um—take care, I guess.” you mumble, and she smiles slightly.

“You too.”

You think over Winter’s advice for about a week, really considering and weighing out your options. The whole time, though, your mind keeps wandering back to Haechan because, honestly, you miss him. You’re trying not to let that color your decisions, but at the same time, how could it not? 

You’re home with Yunjin, both of you sprawled out on the couch watching some mindless reality television show in an attempt to distract yourself from the internal debate you’re having, when the doorbell rings. You both turn and look at each other, confused.

“I’m not expecting anyone,” you say slowly. “Are you?”

“Nope,” she answers, brows furrowed curiously. “I’ll get it, though.”

“Thanks,” you sigh, trying once more to become one with the upholstery. She gets to her feet and walks to the front door, the sound of it opening catching your attention just in time for you to hear her call your name.

You stand and make your way over to the front door only to stop short at the sight of Haechan standing in your doorway.

The three of you stand there, seemingly frozen, before Yunjin breaks the silence.

“I’ll, um, be in my room if you need me.” she says, squeezing your arm gently before turning and heading to her bedroom.

You two just stand there, still frozen, taking in the sight of each other. Seeing Haechan makes all your feelings from the past week multiply tenfold, but one thought pushes to the forefront: you really did miss him.

“Hi,” he says with a small wave, and you offer the beginnings of a smile.

“Hi,” you reply, waving back awkwardly. 

“How are you?” he asks softly.

You shrug half-heartedly. “I’m okay, y’know—living, I guess.” you answer, and he nods slowly, drumming his fingers on the sides of his thighs.

“Well, that’s, um, good. I’m happy to hear that.” he says carefully, and it’s your turn to nod.

“How are you?” you ask, and he looks you directly in the eyes.

”Bad.” he answers simply, and your brows raise in surprise. 

“Oh—?”

“I feel like I’m not living when I’m not with you.” he admits plainly.

You’re not really sure what to say. “Oh… that’s not good?”

Despite his admission, Haechan still manages to chuckle at your flustered state, stepping forward and asking, “Are we gonna have this whole conversation with me standing outside of your apartment?”

You shake your head and move back to let him in before you even realize you’re doing it. “You can come in,” you offer, and he takes the invitation immediately, stepping closer and into your apartment. He walks straight to your living room with you following after him and stands in the middle of it, running his hand through his hair.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he whispers the confession, and your eyes widen slightly. “I like you so much. You make my day better when I know I get to see you.”

Your face softens. “Haechan—”

“I’m not intentionally being selfish, either!” he defends himself, and you stop speaking, waiting for him to finish. “It was just… eating me up inside not to be with you and show the world how much I like you. It just felt so wrong to me, like, what was I doing in that relationship?”

You wait for a minute. “Is that all you wanted to say?” you ask gently, and he shakes his head, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“I know I’m a cheater and I’m pretty dangerous in terms of being in a relationship with me because I literally just dumped my girlfriend quite abruptly after cheating on her with you, but—”

“Haechan, I wasn’t saying you’re a cheater. Like, yes, you did cheat, but that doesn’t define you, I don’t think.” you say slowly, not willing to hear him about to beat himself up, and he relaxes slightly, looking over at you hopefully. “I just… I know I have a hard time trusting people, and I’m having a hard time right now because you’re one of the first people I’d like to trust again, which is terrifying to me.” you say with a slight shake to your voice.

“I would never hurt you on purpose,” he assures you. “Like I would never do anything like this to you.”

You wrap your arms around yourself in a tight hug in an attempt to comfort yourself. “How do I know that’s true?” you whisper, and he gives you a small, sad smile.

“You’re just gonna have to trust me and find out. And I know that’s a big, high-risk situation, but—”

“It’s worth it, though,” you interject softly, and he stops short, looking at you with eyes swimming with hope. “Like, you’re worth it. I think.”

The beginnings of a smile tug at his lips. “Yeah?” If hope was a light, he’d be glowing from every orifice of his body as he tentatively steps closer to you, smiling wider when you don’t step back.

You nod with a smile curling your own lips. “Yeah, the risk is worth the reward this time, I think, because… I really like being with you.”

Haechan’s eyes hold a playful twinkle as he leans closer, a mischievous grin on his lips. “Yeah? You like being with me?”

“Yeah, I do. A lot. That’s why I was so upset,” you admit. “I wished… still kinda wish… that things were different. That it was me from the beginning.”

“It was you, baby,” he says with an incredulous laugh. “Winter and I were done for the second I laid eyes on you, truthfully.”

“I mean, I wish that we had met when you were single and we could have gotten together without compromising our morals.” you explain, and he nods in understanding before tentatively reaching a hand out to you. When you take it, he beams and pulls you closer to wrap his arm around the small of your back.

“Well… it can be you now.” he suggests, hope glowing from him once more. “You can trust me.”

“That’s a risk I’m gonna have to take, I guess.” you say with a growing smile, and he doesn’t waste another moment before wrapping you in a tight embrace that feels like coming home after a long day. “I missed you,” you confess, voice muffled by the hug, and he pulls back to regard you with shock all over his features.

“You missed me? I was about two days away from doing some grand gesture to get you back or crashing out horrendously if you said no.” he laughs, and you giggle, looking up at him with bright, happy eyes.

“Oh, really? Actually, that does sound about right.” you tease, and he narrows his eyes at you playfully before leaning in closer.

“Shut up,” he chuckles before bringing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss. It feels like warmth floods your whole system, not a warmth akin to desire, but a warmth unlike one you’ve experienced or find yourself able to identify, and you wonder, for a moment, if this is what it feels like to be in love. “Missed you so much,” he groans against your lips, and you pull back slightly to give him small, soft pecks that leave him chasing after your lips for more. “You know what?”

“What is it?”

“I wanna say something.” he decides, and you regard him curiously.

“What’s up?”

“I would really, truly, never ever cheat on you or do anything to break your heart.” he promises you, and you nod with a warm smile.

“I think I believe you,” you say slowly, almost surprised at yourself, and his eyes light up.

“Really?” he asks excitedly, and you nod, draping your arms around his neck.

“I guess I just figured that you wouldn’t do that to the… love of your life.” you say with a teasing smile towards the end, and Haechan stiffens.

“Who told you that?”

“Winter.” you answer simply, and he gapes at you.

“She told you I said that?” he says hoarsely, and you nod, your eyes twinkling with delight. “Why would she do that to me?”

“Possibly her final act of revenge.” you suggest, and his mouth twists awkwardly as he looks away from you with his face reddening. “Hold on a minute. Are you—” 

“Don’t,” he groans, but you ignore him.

“Are you shy right now?” you giggle, and he lets out a small, adorably pathetic wail before burying his face in your neck, the force of his actions knocking you off your feet and sending you both falling onto the couch with a shriek slipping from your lips. “Aw, poor baby,” you coo patronizingly, running your fingers through his hair as he wraps both arms around your waist tighter and nuzzles into the space between your chin and shoulder.

“Don’t be mean,” he whines, and you can’t even stop laughing even if you tried, truly delighted at this new side of Haechan.

“I think you kind of like it when I’m mean,” you remind him through your giggles, and he nods vehemently against your skin, only making your laughter grow.

“Yeah, so quit it before I get hard and make it your problem.” he grumbles, and you scoff.

“I’m not scared of your little friend, Haechan.” you say, and he pulls back to look at you incredulously.

“Little?!” he practically squawks before his fingers are dancing up and down your sides to tickle you mercilessly. 

“I’m sorry!” you shriek through your uncontrollable laughing, and he stops abruptly, bringing his face to yours and studying your expression carefully.

“That’s what I thought. I mean, little? Really? Did you actually forget so soon, baby?” he says with a mocking pout, and you swallow thickly as you gaze up at him. He leans closer so your noses are touching before he says, “I think you might need a reminder.”

“Can you remind her in her bedroom and not defile our lovely couch?” Yunjin’s voice appears out of nowhere, and you jolt in surprise, trying to sit up (in vain, as Haechan has you pinned down). “Love is a beautiful thing, but cum stains aren’t.”

“Amen, girl.” you agree, patting Haechan’s chest to let you up, which he does. “Come on.” you stand and offer him your hand, which he takes readily, and lead him to your room. It’s not until you two are safely in your room with your door shut that you say, “I do too, by the way.”

“You do… what… too?” Haechan asks, puzzled, and you smile secretively, collapsing onto your bed.

“Love you.” you answer simply, and his eyes look like they could pop out of his head at any moment. “Don’t freak out.” you warn him, and he jumps onto your bed, climbing on top of you with a wild, exhilarated look in his eyes.

“The love of my life just told me she loves me back and you expect me to stay calm?” he says incredulously, and you nod. 

“Precisely.”

He dips his head down swiftly to kiss you before sitting up and pulling his phone out of his back pocket. “No can do. Gonna text all my friends the news right now and tell my boss I’m not coming to work later.”

“Now why would that warrant calling out of work?” you say with a snort.

“Hush, lady, I’m posting on my Instagram story.” he silences you with a focused look on his face.

“Can I see when you’re done?” you ask, and he nods, turning his phone to face you. “…Haechan.”

“Yes?”

“‘My girl said she loves me, crash out postponed’ is a crazy thing to post.” you snicker.

“It’s true!”

“Your crash out should be canceled!” you exclaim incredulously.

“I’m never truly not at risk of crashing out.” he confesses, and you make a worried face and start sitting up, pretending to get ready to leave. “Oh, no, you don’t.” he mumbles, wrapping his arms around your middle and pulling you back down to him. “You’re stuck with me, I fear.”

“Mm, I guess that’s okay.” you say with a grin.

Truthfully, you don’t think you could be happier.

“What are we watching tonight?” Chenle asks as he plops down on the other end of the couch you’re sitting on.

“I vote Aquaman,” you pipe up, reaching out to Haechan as he approaches with a plate of pizza rolls for you two. When he offers the plate to your outstretched hands, you shake your head and wave the plate away, reaching out again to make it abundantly clear what you’re reaching for. He grins, setting the plate down on the coffee table in front of you before collapsing into your waiting embrace with a pleased sigh.

“You just wanna drool over Jason Momoa,” Chaewon jeers, and you shrug.

“That’s my God-given right.” you defend yourself casually, and Haechan nods in agreement.

“You do know she’s gonna lust after him the whole movie, right?” Chenle points out to Haechan, who just shrugs dismissively.

“Then when she’s all pent-up and frisky, who’s she gonna come to?” he answers smugly, and you beam, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

“He’s playing chess, y’all, not checkers.” you remark.

Haechan snorts in amusement and grins proudly before jerking his chin towards the television. “Exactly. Now someone put it on.”

“Bossy ass,” Yunjin mutters jokingly under her breath. 

“What was that?” Haechan puts a hand behind his ear. “Couldn’t hear you over there.”

“No, you can’t fight Yunjin.” you whisper to him, putting his hand down. He looks over at you confused and you continue, “I can’t pick a side.”

“Pick my side?” he replies slowly as if the answer was obvious. “I’m your boyfriend.”

“She’s my best friend, though.” you reply with a wince, and Yunjin nods from the armchair she’s curled up in. “And she knows where I sleep at night.”

“Both are true,” she confirms proudly, and Haechan sucks his teeth but backs down with a roll of his eyes. 

“Fine. For now,” he relents with a brief glare shot in Yunjin’s direction. “Can we put the movie on now?” he complains, and she rolls her eyes exaggeratedly before starting to navigate to the movie on the television screen.

Haechan laces his fingers with yours, curling them into his palm as he brings your linked hands to his mouth. You watch with rapt attention as he kisses the back of your hand, then each knuckle, all the while maintaining heavy eye contact.

Your cheeks blaze something fierce and you look away with a nervous, shy giggle that makes Haechan chuckle.

“Look at me,” he murmurs insistently, moving his head so it’s more in your line of sight. When you swallow and look away again, he coos fondly, pulling your chin so your face is angled towards his once more. “There’s my pretty girl.”

“Haechan,” you whine quietly, and his gaze darkens.

“What is it, baby?” he murmurs with a sympathetic lilt. “What’s wrong?”

“Stop looking at me like that,” you mumble, placing your hand up between your faces so he can’t look directly at you. “It’s making me nervous.”

He snickers, moving your hand to your lap and regarding you carefully.

“How am I looking at you?” he asks with a raised brow and a devious little grin. 

“You know how you’re looking at me.” you gripe, pushing his shoulder slightly, and his eyes flash with mischief.

“Well, it’s not that I’m looking at you like you’re the only thing on my menu for tonight, is it? Because I look at you like that all the time.” he thinks aloud, slowly pulling you onto his lap and winding his arms around your waist. 

“God, Haechan,” you half-laugh, half-gasp, and he grins. 

“No, it can’t be that. Is it because I’m looking at you like I love you?” he asks plainly, and your throat closes up slightly in shock from his bluntness. 

“Well—yes, a bit.” you mumble, shifting in your spot slightly. 

“I don’t know if you realize this,” he murmurs by your ear, “but I’ve been looking at you like that from day one.”

“It’s way different now,” you counter, frowning as you explain yourself. “Before it was like… fascination more than—”

“Understanding?” he finishes for you, and you blink in surprise before nodding. “So I could look at you like I love you when I didn’t know you, but now that I know you, I can’t look at you like I love you? Even though now I have more reasons to love you?” he says slowly, looking at you with his brows raised. “Do you see how silly you sound, baby?”

You can’t help but laugh fondly, reaching up to run your fingers through his hair. “I kinda do, yeah.”

“Good. Now gimme a kiss before you let me look at you any way I want.” he huffs playfully, pressing his lips to yours with a pleased hum.

“Can you two get a room?” Chenle gags, and you break apart, a sheepish smile on your face while Haechan rolls his eyes. “Man, what’s Jeno gonna do when he comes back to hanging out with us and has to watch you two practically going at it all the time?”

“He’s a big boy, he’ll manage.” Haechan grumbles before pecking you on the lips again.

“Speaking of Jeno,” you ask, shifting to sit up slightly. “Do we really think he’s gonna feel comfortable being friends with us again?”

“He’d be silly not to,” Chaewon answers in confusion. “It’s not like you two were a thing for real.” 

“Speaking of people and forgiveness and that kind of stuff…” Haechan trails off, his voice softer as he shifts his target audience to you alone, and you turn your head slightly to regard him suspiciously. 

“You’d better not ask what I think you’re about to ask.” you warn him, and he frowns.

“I was just wondering if you think Winter would ever forgive us?” he asks hopefully, and you shake your head resolutely.

“No. And she shouldn’t, frankly. We did a bad thing.” you explain, and he nods slowly.

“I just feel a little guilty.” he muses quietly, and you can’t hide your small snicker of amusement.

“You should, actually. But it’ll pass with time hopefully.” you assure him.

“What are you two lovebirds chatting about?” Seulgi calls out from across the room.

“Wondering if Winter would ever forgive any of us.” you answer for Haechan, and Seulgi, Yunjin, and Mark shake their heads immediately, Chenle straight up laughs, and Yunjin shoots you both a sympathetic frown.

“I doubt it. She blocked all of us when she found out we knew.” Mark points out, and you nod slowly in understanding.

“Actually, she didn’t block me,” Yunjin corrects, “but I think that has more to do with the fact that we’re kind of coworkers.”

“Have you seen her since everything?” Chaewon asks curiously, and Yunjin thinks back for a moment.

“I saw her the other day because she was working with a client that stays on the same floor as Mrs. Rothschild. She gave me, like, that reflex half-smile that you give people when you don’t wanna seem rude, y’know?” 

“Oh, I know that one.” you reply with a solemn nod. “We’re doomed.”

“Can we stop moping around and watch this movie, please? Also, can we order pizza or something, because I’m starving.” Mark complains, clutching his stomach, and you snort loudly in amusement.

“Yeah, moping session over. Let’s press play and figure out the food situation.” you announce, and Yunjin nods once before starting the movie. As the starting credits roll, you all decide on the pizza order (three medium pizzas, one with extra cheese, one with pepperoni, and one with half pineapple, half chicken and tomato) and place it for delivery before you settle further into the couch on Haechan’s lap in an attempt to get comfortable.

When the doorbell rings, you all look at each other in a silent standoff before Haechan sighs loudly and clambers off of the couch to get the door. You all wait with bated breath until he returns with three boxes of pizza stacked on top of each other before you start cheering.

As you all scramble to get your slices of choice, Haechan pushes Chenle out of the way none too gently, the male squawking indignantly before muttering something about favoritism and revenge and Haechan’s toothbrush, and tugs you closer to the boxes. “Take your pick, baby.”

“Aren’t you a gentleman?” you coo fondly as you take your desired slices.

After he takes his, the two of you make your way back to the couch and settle down in your spots from before. 

“Y’know, I’ve been trying to convince you I’m a gentleman since, like, the first day I met you,” he chuckles. 

“It was a lot harder to believe when you were literally dating You-Know-Who.” you reply in defense, and he rolls his eyes.

“I’ve been yours from the beginning, though. I told you that.” he reminds you, and you gaze into his eyes for a moment before reaching up and gently cupping his cheek.

“Yeah, but now I actually believe you.” you say softly, almost surprised by your own revelation, and his eyes widen slightly before a smile starts tugging at his lips.

“Oh, yeah? How’s it feel, then?” he asks in a murmur, and you tilt your head to the side in confusion.

“How does what feel?”

“Knowing I love you,” he answers, and there goes that arrhythmic thud of your heartbeat starting up again. “That I’m yours.”

the boy is mine. watch me take my time. i can’t believe my mind. the boy is divine—

In lieu of a verbal response, you cup his chin and pull him in for a slow, deep kiss that you hope conveys all the feelings you can’t put into words. When you pull back, his eyes are heavy-lidded and he’s gazing at you with blatant adoration in his gaze.

“Like that,” you whisper back with a smile, and by the sheer radiance of his responding beam, you know he understands. 

—the boy is mine.

TA DA!!!!! i hope you enjoyed your read! this is the final installment, so thank you so so much for your support with this fic! it was a Lot to write but i’m proud of it! i really love positive feedback and also, if you’re able, i very much appreciate tips!! 

if you’d like to read the bonus scene, it’s available on my patreon here :) it answers a couple of questions you might have had, and down the line there will probably be more bonus scenes to come, exclusive to patreon members!!

LINKS: KO-FI // VENMO // CASHAPP // AMAZON WISHLIST // (if you’d like to support via paypal, let me know off anon!!)

[undressrehearsal]

is it casual now?

chapter 1

summary: you and ellie agreed that this was just for a little fun - so what's the harm in her inviting you to joel's for a movie night?

word count: 2.3k

tags: nsfw, fingering (e and r receiving), angst, dub con?? i think?, does this count as public sex?, this shit's messy af y'all, mean reader, toxic relationship

a/n: i've wanted to write a fic based off this song for a while now. i've seen a few people write it (the song's a banger) but i only ever see ellie being written as the distant toxic one and tbh i don't think that matches her character so here's the opposite

also i hid a one last stop reference in here if you find it you get a prize (it's not hard to find)

if you wanna be tagged in the things i post, just lmk in the replies!

Joel was trying to decide what movie you should watch. 

At least, Ellie thought he was. She could see the way his lips were moving - could even make out the words Dawn of the Wolf, whatever that meant - but she couldn’t actually hear him. She sat across from him at the dining table, nodding along, trying to school her expression into a pantomime of interest, but his words were drowned out by the ringing in her ears. 

Your hand on her thigh crept higher. 

Ellie shifted in the uncomfortable wood chair, uncrossing her legs only to recross them, and your hand didn’t move. You stroked slow circles into her jeans with your thumb; she would have thought it was absentminded if she didn’t know you so well. Ellie could see you in her peripheral. You smiled politely, nodding along as Joel listed off what movies he had found lately - it had become his mission to hunt for them while he was on patrol. (He always insisted that Ellie needed to be familiar with all the classics from before the outbreak.) 

Somewhere past the sound of her heart pounding in her ears, Ellie heard Joel say her name. She blinked, shifted in her seat again, and replied intelligently, “Huh?” 

He shook his head at her and laughed as he said, “Where you at, kiddo?” 

She ran a hand through her hair, purposely avoiding looking at you - she knew she’d only find that shit-eating smile on your face. “Sorry, had patrol late last night. Yeah, that movie sounds cool.” She had no idea what movie he had suggested. 

It didn’t matter much in the end. After switching off the lights, Joel sat back in his big old recliner (he’d looked like a fucking kid on Christmas morning when Tommy gave that to him), leaving the couch to you and Ellie. You leaned into her with your head on her shoulder; she had her arm draped over the back of the couch, not quite touching you. She was dancing a fine line between wanting to hold you and knowing you wouldn’t let her, but the tightrope was slipping from under her feet because you had put your fucking hand on her thigh again. She’d swear there was a damn magnet connecting your hand to her. 

Ellie covered a gasp with a cough when your hand drifted between her legs. Your eyes were glued to the flickering television, but there was no hiding the small, satisfied smile on your lips. And she fucking hated herself for wanting to kiss it more than anything. 

The tattered blanket you shared covered up the fact that the tips of your fingers were grazing across the seam of her jeans. Even the ghost of friction made her squirm, the movie becoming nothing more than white noise. You were too fucking bold, and her head spun when your nimble fingers undid the button and slid the zipper down so slowly it ached. When your fingertips dipped below the waistband of her boxers, she couldn’t stop herself from glancing at Joel. He was enthralled in the movie, and she couldn’t even pay attention to it; she hated herself for that too. 

She knew she shouldn’t; she knew she should’ve grabbed your wrist, told you to stop so she could just enjoy the movie with her… with Joel. He’d been trying to plan a movie night with her for a week, and tonight she had finally been free from patrol. God, she shouldn’t have invited you, but when he asked if she wanted to bring a friend, of course your name had popped up. 

She should have known it would be a mistake - an intoxicating one, but a mistake nonetheless. And when you dragged your fingers over her, pressing the lightest pressure to her clit, it took everything in her not to tilt her hips against your hand in search of friction. 

Ellie bit down on her lip so hard she'd swear she tasted blood when you dipped just the tips of your fingers inside her. It was embarrassing how easy it was - how wet she already was and you had hardly even touched her. But when you circled her clit, your fingers already soaked, the shame burning in her chest evaporated. Her eyes fluttered, heat burning in her stomach, your touch setting her aflame. Her fingers dug into the back of the couch. She longed to touch you, to just wrap her arm around you and hold you close, press your head to her chest so you could hear how her heart reached for you. 

Instead, she could only grip the couch behind your shoulder, gritting her teeth against the ache of it. You didn't even look at her, playing with her as though it were an afterthought, but there was no missing the smirk on your lips. She hated it; God, she wanted to kiss you. 

Ellie didn't dare look at Joel - she didn't think she could handle seeing him so engrossed in the movie he had been so excited to show her while she sat only a few feet away, coming undone on his couch. She couldn't handle the shame rising in her throat again. If she looked at him, she was sure she'd be sick right there. 

She tried so hard to keep it together - her hips ached from the force of holding them still, her lip surely cracked from biting it. Her chest burned with the moans she had to swallow like acid. But she couldn't keep it all in - it was overflowing. And when finally, the coil in her stomach threatening to snap, a low groan spilled from her lips, Joel turned to look at her. 

Ellie didn't want to think about what he saw, but whatever it was, it made his brow pinch in concern. She couldn't meet his worried eyes when he said, “You okay, kiddo? You don't look too good.” 

Your fingers hadn't even fucking slowed. You looked at her with a mask of concern, batting your eyes so innocently even as you pressed your fingers into her, curling them so you hit that spot that made her see stars. And then Ellie did grab you, gripping your shoulder in warning and glaring down at you. You wrinkled your nose, but relented and slid your fingers out of her; her grip tightened when you slid back over her clit. Fuck, she never should've invited you. 

Ellie cleared her throat; she couldn't look at either of you without feeling sick, so she turned her gaze to the movie. What was it even about? 

“Sorry, I just-” Her voice was strained, suffocating in her own throat. She felt like she was going to swallow her own tongue. The coil in her stomach tightened and she felt nauseous. She groaned again, and the words tripped over themselves in a rush when she said, “I don't feel good.” 

Ellie stumbled to her feet, forcing you to withdraw your hand; when she glanced down, she could see that your fingers were wet and it made her stomach twist. Keeping one hand over her stomach to hide the fact that her fucking pants were undone, she hurried from the room, ignoring Joel when he called after her. She couldn't look him in the eye or else she might actually puke.

Making a beeline for the bathroom, Ellie slammed the door behind her and leaned against it, the wood cold against her back. She took a deep breath, counting the cracks in the ceiling until her heart finally stopped bashing against her ribs, her throat burning. Pinprick tears stung her eyes as she fixed her pants, her fingers shaking so hard she could hardly grasp the button. 

Cursing under her breath, Ellie braced her hands on the bathroom sink, her shoulders sagging. Her eyes were rimmed red; she scrubbed her hands over her face roughly, willing her stomach to settle. 

She shouldn’t have been upset, really. The first time your hand had found its way into her pants, all those months ago, you had made it perfectly clear what this was. She could still hear your voice from that night, saccharine sweet and smelling like the whiskey you had nabbed from her cabinet: Come on, Els, Jackson’s so boring. We can just have a little fun, right? She remembered the weight of your body when you climbed onto her lap, your thighs warm on either side of her hips, your hands pressing her back against the couch. She could still feel the way your breath had ghosted over her neck, your voice dripping with honeyed desire: It's just a little fun.

Her own eyes looked so unfamiliar, a stranger peering at her from the bathroom mirror. 

Cursing again, she turned on the faucet, bending to splash water on her face - it was December and the water was so cold it numbed her hands. It was a welcome relief against her burning skin. 

Ellie felt so fucking dirty it hurt. No matter how she scrubbed at her skin, rubbing it raw, she couldn’t seem to rid herself of it. The cold water stung her cheeks. 

A knock on the door made her jump, cold water splashing down the front of her shirt. She cursed, pulling the damp fabric away from her chest with a grimace before calling, “Give me a minute, okay?” 

But you had never been very good at listening, had you? You didn’t even look surprised when you pushed the door open, ignoring her protest, and found Ellie leaning against the counter, water still dripping from her chin. If anything, you looked almost amused, quirking an eyebrow at her. It was the look you gave her every time you got her worked up, your eyes showing the laughter you bit back. She fucking hated that look. 

Ellie glared over her shoulder at you, but there was no real malice behind it - even when she hated you, something in her still softened when you were around. A switchblade girl with a cotton candy heart. 

You closed the door softly behind you, leaning back against it with a smug smile that she wanted to wipe off your face - she just wasn’t sure how she wanted to yet. Ellie could hear how your ego tinted your voice when you said, “Joel sent me to check on you. Probably thinks you're barfing your guts out or something.” 

Ellie rolled her eyes, looking away from you and mumbling, “Yeah, I guess dinner didn’t sit well….” 

You scoffed and the sound went straight to her stomach. She felt rather than saw you step behind her; she tensed when you placed your hands on her hips, leaning forward to put your chin on her shoulder. Her hands gripped the edges of the sink so hard she thought the porcelain might crack. She could feel the heat of your body all the way down her back, your hips pressing into her ass, and her traitorous heart fluttered embarrassingly. 

Ellie met your eyes in the reflection, watching as your smile grew into something almost mocking. You placed a kiss on the back of her neck, pressing your words into her skin: “Damn, Els, I didn’t know Dawn of the Wolf got you so hot and bothered.” Your fingers pressed into her hips, pulled her back against you. She failed to smother the sigh it pulled from her. She hated how it made your smile widen, and she hated even more how much she wanted to fucking kiss it off your stupid face. She shivered when she felt your teeth graze over her neck, and almost missed it when you muttered, laughing, “God, you’re so fucking easy, you know that?” 

Ellie shoved away from the counter, spinning on her heel and grabbing your wrist before you could flinch away. You had only blinked before she slammed you back against the wall, praying that Joel didn’t hear it. Her fingers wrapped so tightly around your wrist she could feel your pounding pulse, pressing it to the wall above your head. She slipped her thigh between your legs, pressing up into you, and she only had a moment to register that smug fucking grin before she slapped a hand over your mouth. She relished in the way your eyes flashed in something akin to fear. She had to find wins where she could, right? 

Leaning forward so her nose brushed yours, Ellie growled into the back of her hand, “Don’t make a fucking sound.” 

And she did get to wipe that cocky smile off your face. She kept her hand over your mouth, releasing your wrist to snake her arm between your legs. She muffled your moans, hissing when your nails dug into her biceps. 

Joel was in the next room, she thought distantly. Joel was in the next room, watching the movie he had been so excited to show her. He was in the next room, concerned about her, waiting for her, and here she was pressing her best friend into the wall of his bathroom. She had your pants around your ankles, two - three - fingers pushing into you. She could feel the vibrations of your moans against her hand - she wanted to press her lips to yours and swallow them, knowing you would never let her. 

It came too fast, Ellie pressing into you relentlessly if only to make you fucking shut up for once. Your body shuddered against her, and she wanted to hold you through it, but by the time it was over you were already pushing her away. When her hand fell from your mouth, you were smiling again. Maybe she was going to be sick after all. 

@filtered-sunlight

[nyrasproblm]

It's like a fever, I'm burning alive

Rhaenyra Targaryen x fem!reader

Summary: You discover that Rhaenyra went to King's Landing and things don't go well.

Word Count: 1,3K

Warning: ANGST, mentions of war, mentions of deaths, mentions of betrayal, mentions of child deaths, power imbalance, brief sex, nipple sucking, lesbian sex.

note: this story is new and is also available on my AO3.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

You hurriedly walked through the halls, holding the skirt of your simple dress. Your heart was pounding harder and harder and your anxiety didn't lessen when you saw one of the doors to the Queen's chambers in Dragonstone. Giving a nod of complicity to the royal guard, you opened the heavy door and looked around restlessly, looking for any sign of silver hair, but in vain, the place was empty.

Placing your hands over your chest to try and calm the pounding of your heart, you began to pace from side to side, your vision becoming blurred by the tears that began to appear. This couldn't be happening, she couldn't have been so foolish to consider doing something like that.

She went to King's Landing. Accompanied only by a guard.

The information came from Elinda and you still couldn't believe what your Queen had done. She was not the type to take risks without any reason, she made wise and coherent decisions.

You waited for hours, sitting in a place on the floor where you could hardly be seen if the main door to the rooms opened, it got dark and you only realized it when you heard the sound of the door opening. You stood up abruptly to see who it was and sighed in relief when you saw that it was your beloved queen.

Bowing slightly and approached hesitantly, your eyes passing anxiously and desperately over her entire figure, looking for any injuries, the ones she received when Ser Arryk invaded her rooms in a cowardly attack were enough. She looked at you in a mixture of surprise and relief to see you there, as if your presence was a medicine. You frowned when you noticed the septa robes she was wearing.

"Did you really do what I was told you did?" you asked, the knot in your stomach growing with each word that left your mouth. "Did you go see that snake in King's Landing?"

"I needed to talk to Alicent about the latest events, clarify things." She walked across the large room and began taking off her clothes, throwing them on top of one of the dark wooden chairs.

"To clarify?" you asked, the situation sounding unbelievable to your ears. "And what is there to clarify? She took your throne to give to her son."

"Her grandson was murdered in his bed while he slept and she thought I had ordered such a transgression." She was left with just her thin cloth intimate dress, turned to you and held her hands in front of her, twirling her wedding ring nervously. "I couldn't be at peace if–"

"Peace?!" You widen your eyes slightly, in disbelief. "I was there, Rhaenyra, I saw the procession. She was sitting as she was paraded with the corpse of her grandson, do you know what one of the court members said? They called you cruel, a monster, a defiler of the innocent. There is no peace anymore."

She sighed and sat down on the dark lounge chair, turned her face toward the large fireplace and fell silent.

"Her other son murdered your son, Lucerys was a messenger, this is treason." you keep talking. "Don't you understand yet? It's only you who cares, she doesn't care. Aegon doesn't care."

"I made a promise to my father and I intend to keep it, I will not rule with unnecessary killings and deaths." she finally turned to face you again. "Both the Dowager Queen and I have lost loved ones in recent weeks. I thought we could come together in our grief."

You sighed to contain your rising anger. Rhaenyra was too complacent, the greens wouldn't stop until they had her head to govern without her interference and she still didn't see that.

"You could have been killed." you take a few steps and lean on the wooden back of one of the chairs.

"I was careful and took one of the guards with me, no one knew it was me." she kept her purple eyes sharp in your direction.

"You must think you're so smart, but you were just a fool." you found yourself saying. "A fool who clings to the past, a past with a person who was never your friend."

"It is not foolish to seek all ways to peace!" She raises her voice, a few veins poking out slightly on her neck. "Understand me, you know me as well as I know you, don't be gratuitously hostile."

"If you act like a fool then I'll treat you like one!" you raised your voice too, gripping the wood tightly. "The people of King's Landing believe you are a baby killer, they would dismember you if they knew you were there!"

"I'm still your queen, remember that." she spat.

You felt a violent knot in your stomach and took a few steps back, lowering your head, swallowing hard and clasping your hands humbly in front of your body.

"May I go now, Your Grace?" you asked, eyes fixed on the stone floor.

"No." she replied and got up from the lounger, walking in long strides towards you.

She stopped inches from touching your body completely and pulled your hands into hers, they were warm and welcoming, as always. Rhaenyra leans in and rubs the side of her face against yours, her aquiline nose caressing your cheek, you closed your eyes and leaned against her.

"Stand by my side, I have enough people disagreeing with me, all the time." she pulled back and looked at you closely. "I don't want to have arguments with you either."

You looked down at your joined hands, the symbol of your bond with Rhaenyra. You had been by her side for so many years, you didn't want your close relationship to be ruined. You were afraid of losing her in this horrendous war, the constant search for peace could kill her.

"I got scared." You admitted, eyes still fixed on your clasped hands. "I came running as soon as Elinda told me, I was hoping you hadn't done such a thing."

"If I make a decision in the future that is risky, I will have the decency to ask you what you think first." She said and you looked up, locking your eyes with hers.

"No need to do that, Your Grace." you caress her slender fingers. "Seek peace, if that is what torments you, but do not perish along the way."

She nodded slightly and kept her eyes fixed on your face, smiled slightly and tilted her face even closer to yours.

"I miss you so much, you haven't been here often." she says, voice turning velvety.

She didn't need to say anything else, you tilted your face up and pressed your lips against hers, your eager tongue invading your dragon queen's mouth in a hurry, you kissed your lover hungrily until she ran out of air, your desperate hands tracing the slim curves beneath the almost transparent nightgown. Your mouth didn't stop when you pulled away for air, you continued trailing kisses across her face, down to her neck.

You bit and kissed her milky skin neck, and continued moving down until you reached her favorite part, but she pulled away and you looked at her in confusion.

"Not standing, to bed." she said breathlessly and you hurriedly pulled her towards the bed, laid her down and leaned on your elbows on top of her.

Rhaenyra took the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders, exposing her breasts to you. She lay down completely and looked at you expectantly. You let out a soft moan as you saw your beloved queen expose herself to you.

You leaned forward and pulled her right breast into your mouth, then pinched her nipples with your lips, your tongue grazing against the sensitive, hard nipple. She couldn't help but whimper. She put her hands on the back of your head and pulled you into her chest.

You buried your face in her breasts, you could spend your whole life pleasuring your queen.

[little-diable]

The Chase – Draco Malfoy (smut)

Since y'all seem to enjoy my Draco fics that have some rougher smut in them, I couldn't stop myself from writing this. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: Draco has been feeling frustrated for days, something that finally changes as he tells his wife that he's ready to hunt her down and remind her who she belongs to. Basically pwp

Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, rough smut, tied wrists, dom!Draco, hide/seek, oral (f), some degrading

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!wife!reader (1.8k words)

Her eyes were focused on her phone, while her heart was racing in her chest, pounding with a strong beat that whispered to her, urging (y/n) on to prepare for what her husband had just texted her. Draco had been in some kind of mood for the past days, a rather snappish mood she hadn’t enjoyed being around, deciding to keep her distance while he worked through whatever he had struggles with at work. But the text she was now rereading for the tenth time told her that all the pent-up frustration would be left in the past after tonight. 

“You may run and hide from me, but tonight, I’ll catch you. xxx” 

Draco and her had done this a while back for the first time, letting him hunt her down before using her like a vessel for his frustration and anger, littering her body with marks she’d trace in the midnight hour with a proud smirk. She loved the chase, the thrill shooting through her body while her adrenaline spiked. 

(Y/n) knew that Draco would find her in no time, very well knowing that neither of them could go long without touching their significant other, especially when both were urged on by their frustration, their need and hunger for one another. She could already feel him buried deep inside of her, letting her walls clench around nothing at the mere thought of being fucked by her husband. 

Perhaps he’d use their blindfold, perhaps he’d tie her to the bed, while fucking her from behind, whatever it was he was about to do to her, (y/n) would take it all with a satisfied grin, ready to offer every inch of trembling body to her husband like a sacrifice. 

Tonight she’d let him play, tonight she’d let him win their chase – very well knowing that whatever he’d do to her would be her greatest win after all.

……

“Honey, I’m home!” Draco’s voice echoed through their house, ringing in her ears as she hid beneath their bed. It wasn’t a creative hiding spot, and yet it was the perfect place for them, knowing he’d find (y/n) in no time, to fuck her rough like she knew he would.

The sound of his feet meeting the wooden ground made her breath hitch in her chest, while picturing the suit perfectly clinging to his frame, with the first few buttons of his shirt undone, and how he was wearing his blonde hair slightly gelled back – a sight that would make her fawn over her handsome husband. 

“Where are you hiding, pretty girl?” She heard Draco step into the room next door, opening their dresser, and closing it again after a few more seconds. (Y/n) counted the passing by seconds, letting the numbers echo through her mind while Draco kept taking his time, stepping into their bathroom for a few seconds. 

“I can’t wait to fuck your tight cunt, while you scream my name, it’s the only thing I could think of today.” Draco’s voice dripped with something dark, something that drew a soft moan from her while she stayed hidden. His feet came into view as he entered the bedroom and closed the door behind himself, seemingly all too aware that she was hiding close by. 

“Fuck, honey, I will make you tremble, make you forget your name while you take my cock like you were made to do.” Without another warning he crouched down to reach for her, pulling (y/n) from her hiding spot with a satisfied grin. She barely got any time to understand what her husband was doing as he picked her up and threw her down on the bed. 

(Y/n)’s gasps echoed through the bedroom as she stared up at Draco, focusing on the smirk he wore, paired with that dark gaze that pushed heat straight to her pulsing bundle. Draco settled between her naked legs, only wearing a shirt of his and her already damp panties, to reach down and kiss her breathless. 

It had been days since he had touched her, let alone kissed her like this, a teeth clashing kiss that made their hearts race and their limbs tingle. Her fingers found their way to his blonde hair to tug on his roots, trying to pull her husband even closer while he shifted his weight onto his right hand as his other hand reached for their bedside table. 

“Give me your hands, pretty girl.” He murmured the words against her already swollen lips. (Y/n) wanted to protest, wanted to beg him not to tie her to her bed, but the warning gaze he shot her left her breathless, unable to speak a single word. Draco gently took her wrists to tie them to the cold metallic frame of their bed with the dark green rope he enjoyed using on her. “Such a pretty sight, but I think we’ll have to get rid of that shirt, I want to see all of you.”

“Draco,” the warning tone dripping from her voice left Draco chuckling as he reached for the small knife they used whenever they were high on the thrill, staring at one another while he’d trace her skin with the knife. All (y/n) could do was tug on the rope as he sliced the fabric of his shirt apart, exposing her naked upper body to his twinkling eyes.

“Fuck, look at you, baby.” His head dipped down to press a kiss to the valley between her breasts before his hand dropped the knife to cup her right one. She was a moaning mess, choking on her sounds while he pressed his middle against hers, letting (y/n) feel his hardening cock. 

“Fuck me, Draco, please, it’s been so long.” He spared her words no attention while he sucked on her hardening nubs, drawing gritty sounds from (y/n) – sounds that made his cock twitch in his suit trousers. Draco gave himself a few more moments to suck marks into her skin before he finally let his hands find her panties to move them down her legs.

The two held eye contact as he rose to his feet, while staring down at her to slowly undress himself. Draco was teasing her, enjoying the desperation tugging on (y/n)’s features while she watched him, unable to touch her husband. His shirt was dropped to the floor as his hands began to work on his belt and finally on his trousers and underwear to expose his hard cock to her wandering eyes. 

Precum was glistening on his tip as Draco slowly stroked himself, giving (y/n) a show as she could only tug on the rope and try to shuffle closer to him. She was impatient, burning from inside out, all because he made her feel this whirlwind of emotions, high on whatever he’d offer his wife. 

“Spread your legs for me, baby, show me how much you need me.” Her body blindly followed the command. She spread her legs for his bright eyes, letting him take in the sight of her arousal-covered folds, of her pulsing bundle, and the beautiful skin he’d kiss any moment now. Draco moved slowly, calculated as if he had thought of this strategy for hours on end, trying to figure out the best way to make her tremble in need. 

Their eyes kept searching on another, Draco settled back between her legs to let his tongue brush through her slit, moaning at the taste of her arousal. Both knew they wouldn’t be able to drag this out for much longer, needing to feel one another in the most intimate way imaginable. His tongue moved fast, brushing over her clit to draw a loud moan from (y/n) while she arched her back off the mattress. 

“Oh god, ‘missed you so much.” (Y/n) mumbled her words, confessions that left Draco smiling against her naked cunt. His bright eyes intently studied her, while he pushed two fingers into her tightness, spreading her walls to prepare her for his twitching cock. He allowed himself to fuck her for a moment or two before finally pulling away from her, set on pushing her over the edge with his aching cock buried deep inside of her. 

“You’ll take my cock like the good girl you are, and then I may allow you to touch me.” His words echoed through her mind, a small distraction for a second or two as Draco aligned himself with her heat, only to push into her as she nodded her head. Both moaned in unison at the familiar sensation, already high on the feeling of her tight walls clenching his cock, begging him to fuck her into oblivion. 

The rope burned into (y/n)’s skin as she kept tugging on it, praying to whoever was listening that she’d be able to feel him soon enough. Draco fucked her without holding back, letting his body meet hers with every ferocious thrust that left both moaning, choking on the sweetest sounds clawing through them. 

“Fuck, I love you, my perfect girl.” Draco’s words dripped with arousal, with a hunger that made the inferno burning deep inside of her grow, threatening to leave marks with its heat – marks that may never fade again. Her walls fluttered around his cock as his thumb found her clit, offering the extra stimulation she desperately needed.  

“Let me touch you, please.” (Y/n) whispered her words with wide eyes and parted lips, hoping that her husband would finally give in. It took Draco a few more thrusts before he followed the call and tugged on the rope, letting it drop to the mattress while her hands instantly found his face, pulling him in for a kiss. 

Their tongues fought for victory while Draco fucked her closer to the edge, making her see stars whenever he met her swollen spot. Her hands found their way down his neck to his shoulders, letting her fingernails scratch his skin to draw groans from him, and finally letting them claw into his skin to draw some blood. 

“Cum for me, baby, clench my cock while you scream my name.” He marvelled at (y/n) as she came, letting her head roll back to expose her throat to his wandering lips. Draco left his marks on her throat as he fucked her through her high, only following her down the edge as she panted his name again, like a prayer leaving her soft lips. 

“Don’t ever go that long without touching me, do you hear me?” (Y/n) whispered her words as he rested on her chest, letting them both of them relax as the sweet sensation clung to them, reminding them of one another’s love. 

“I promise, even though this was fucking worth it.”

[stvolanis]

toxic!farleigh start PLEASE I BEG OF YOU😫😫

I hear you, I hear you! love me some toxic men���angst with smut!!! kinda fluff at the end if you squint.

FWB Farleigh Start! who you’ve been having sex with since he began attending Oxford, but he was gracious enough to extend an invitation to stay with him in saltburn; but no strings attached, obviously.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who fucks you into oblivion nearly every night, not bothering to pull out since he put you on the pill. He’ll mutter the sweetest things to you while he pounds into your sore, overused pussy. “Love you s’much, baby. Love this fuckin’ pussy.” He’d say in your ear, his voice husky before kissing your shoulder. Almost as if you were lovers.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who when he’s done rutting his cum in all of your holes, cleans you up and leaves a kiss on your head; sparing you one last glance before he leaves you alone for the night to go to his room. Your heart broke each and every time he walked out of the room.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who won’t make whatever it is you have official, but won’t let you see anyone else besides him and throws bitch fits when he sees you talking to Felix, and god forbid, Oliver. It sparks arguments and harsh words, yet it just ends up with make-up sex.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who loves you more than he loves himself, yet he can’t bring himself to be in a relationship with you in fear of him hurting you. But, he doesn’t wanna see you with anyone else, so while you’re asleep he unlocks your phone and goes through your contacts, deleting the ones he feels like he has to worry about.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who smirks to himself as he watches your brows furrow in confusion when messages you swore were there, are suddenly gone.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who you see dancing with a redhead dressed in a slutty nurse costume at one of the parties at Saltburn. He could see the hurt dance across your face, the tears well up in your eyes. How badly he wanted to just go up to you, look you in your pretty little eyes and tell you that he’s only ever wanted you.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who can’t accept his feelings for you, so fearful of the unknown. He’s never felt the way he feels about you for anyone else, and it scares him. So, he lets the red headed tramp lead him up the stairs to a spare bedroom.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who freezes when the red head perches herself on his lap. Knowing she isn’t you, he pushes her off and swings the door open, storming down the stairs, looking desperately around for you.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who finally finds you, yet you’re in the arms of the person he despises the most with tears running down your cheeks. Something Oliver says makes you laugh through your tears, and Farleigh swears he felt a pang in his chest.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who, on impulse, drags you away from Oliver; obviously not before throwing profanities at him.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who throws you onto your bed, both of your wrists held above your head by just one of his large hands, his fingers adorned with pretty rings. His other hand making quick work of shimmying off your shorts and white panties.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who fucks you with 3 of his fingers while whispering the dirtiest things to you. “Such a slut, hm? Fuck anyone who’ll give you attention?” He taunted. “No one can make you feel this good with just their fingers, honey.” He said as he licked his lips, watching the way your pussy soaked his fingers, the sound echoing in the air.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who makes you cum at least 4 times with just his fingers till he feels like you’ve learned your lesson. “You’re mine. Get that through your pretty fuckin’ head.” He said through gritted teeth. You nodded your head, a babbling, whimpering mess under him.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who sleeps next to you that night for the first time and whispers sweet nothings to you as his hands trace little stars on your back. Maybe things would change. Just maybe.

don’t be shy, ask to be a part of the tag list and request things!!

tag list: @elvisalltheway101 @epthedream69 @claire-elvisgirl @elvisrealgf @littlehoneyposts @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo @luxuriouslokistan-3 @foxevxid @salepso

[letorip]

somethin' stupid [ii]

"and though it's just a line to you, for me it's true and never felt so right before"

===+++===

pairing: wednesday addams x reader

summary: it's all her fault, and wednesday can't help but feel it in her bones.

warnings: mentions of blood, the police (gross), hospitalisation, crying

word count: 4.8k

A/N: thank you all for the love and support you have given to this silly little story of mine. it is absolutely insane. red font denotes the thoughts of those around you. kind of worried i may have rushed the ending, but i hope you like it anyhow. right, anyways...

===+++===

It took an additional thirty four minutes and twenty eight seconds after the beast sunk its claws into your chest, for Wednesday to come wandering out of the line of trees stretching to the cloudy sky and onto the nearby mountain street, still wearing your bright yellow raincoat bunched around her wrists.

Finding the cave had not turned out to be entirely as difficult as she had expected, and she managed to find its charred remains just as Eugene had said. There was no evidence to gather, really, and there never had been to begin with.

In the far away distance, only lightly covered by the rain, it sounded as if a flock of birds were screaming at each other and fighting, and the noise rang throughout the forest before settling in Wednesday’s ears. She had already been annoyed and frustrated enough tonight. The extra noise just set her even more on edge than before.

It took another sixteen seconds and a few steps closer then, for Wednesday to realise the noise bleeding from around the bend in the road wasn’t in fact, a group of birds. Instead, it was the worst sound Wednesday could ever want to hear.

Within an instant, Wednesday took off running, every sickening realisation clicking at once. The vision that had been plaguing her nightmares and every interaction with you came back in full force. Her stomach began to churn as she went, heart burning and ears ringing. She knew.

When Wednesday rounded the curve, she saw the cars and their sirens.

The red and blue lights bounced off of the dirt and pavement even from far away, reflecting in the rain water as it pummelled to the ground. Five police cruisers sat strewn every which way along the shoulder of the road, headlights on and pointed into the underbrush. Officers wandered the clearing, pointing their flashlights into the dark and yelling loudly to each other in an attempt to overcome the rain.

As Wednesday rushed towards the vehicles, a man stepped out of the closest car to her, wearing a plastic blue poncho that did mostly nothing to stop the merciless pounding of the furious rain. He spoke into a little radio on his shoulder, staring out into woods at his men while they searched.

Wednesday’s loud steps from her thick shoes warned him of her nearing, and the man turned, hand dropping from his radio. She was immediately displeased, greatly so; the man was Sheriff Galpin. He looked just as unhappy to see her, frown drooping into a wry glower.

“Addams what are you doing out here??!” He shouted at her over the storm, hands placing themselves on his hips. “It’s sure as hell past your curfew, now go back to Nevermore, dammit!“

Wednesday walked right up to him then, tugging him roughly by the poncho and his collar, which she balled up dangerously in her fist. It was a warning, and she meant it. Potentially, she meant it more than any threat she had previously given. “Who did you find.”

Sheriff Galpin’s eyebrows lowered, a line appearing in his forehead as he stared her down. “That’s official Jericho Police Department business, missy. You need to-“

Her grip on his clothing tightened. “Now.” Her voice shook a little. “Who did you find.”

He looked at her for a moment in the flickering blue and red of the dark, examining the look on her face. Her eyes were shining, though she would never admit to it. The old sheriff sighed. “Some kid from Nevermore was attacked. You might have known ‘em. Name was like, (Y/n) or something.”

Wednesday’s hand went slack, dropping back down to her side. “Were…,” she swallowed, attempting to cool the heat rushing to her face. It felt as if the Earth had just broken away from its orbit, to float off directionless into space. “Were they killed?”

For the first time, Sheriff Galpin seemed almost soft. He bent down to her a bit, patting her on the shoulder awkwardly as if to say ‘there, there.’ He had never liked the Addams girl much, though that seemed highly irrelevant in the moment.

“Uh, luckily no, though the camper who found them said they were awful close. The EMTs got here just in time. They’re headed to the hospital.”

Wednesday pulled back, tensing at his hand. “Give me a ride to the hospital,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. The sheriff shook his head.

“Nuh uh, no way. You’re going back to school, kid. It’s too late for you to be out here anyways, and I’m sure Weems would like to know why the hell you were out past curfew in the first place.”

She glared. “I need to be at that hospital.”

The sheriff rolled his eyes at her, any moment of softness gone upon remembering why he disliked her and her family so much. “Like hell I’m going to take you there.”

Wednesday blinked at him.

===+++===

The night was still dark but no longer raining, when Sheriff Galpin speedily dropped Wednesday off with her bloody fist at the front step of the hospital.

Punching the tree again and again had hurt, the sharp bark slicing through the skin of her knuckles, but it also meant she needed a nurse and potentially stitches, and there was only one place capable of offering such services. Suffice to say, the sheriff wouldn’t become her fan any time soon.

The clock had slowly crawled to four in the morning, and though Wednesday was exhausted, and Enid and Thing were potentially freaking out back at the school as to where the hell either of you were, Wednesday was a bit more concerned with figuring out where in the hospital your room was. Oh, and maybe aiding her fist, which was now dripping blood onto the patterned green carpeting as she went.

Upon entering and striding right up to the front counter, Wednesday had gotten straight to business. She held up her bloody fist, placing it with a 'thud' on top of an infographic that sat on the reception desk. The previously sleepy-looking teenage receptionist stared at Wednesday with a look of wide awake, abject horror. “Tell me where the ER is,” she said.

"Uh...over there?” said the girl, raising a weak finger towards the doors in the far left and unable to pry her eyes away from Wednesday’s hand.

Wednesday nodded a single time before walking off, leaving the receptionist to lean over the counter and watch her go. The sign over the door was marked 'ER,' and Wednesday followed down the brightly lit hall until she arrived at a new waiting area. The people in there looked much worse for wear than the empty entrance at the front.

Nervous parents sat cradling their obviously sick children, a construction worker was repeatedly coughing in the corner with his head propped up, trying to stay awake, and a woman in a pantsuit was cradling her foot in a cast and wincing. If this was an omen to who was in your company, it was certainly a bad one.

Wednesday did just as she had before, walking right up to the desk with her hand and showing it to the nurse at the front. Only this time, the woman gave her a worried look, picking up the black phone to her right immediately and dialling a few numbers into the keypad.

“Uh, stay right there, ma’am,” the woman said. Wednesday nodded. She didn’t intend to go anywhere anyways.

The nurse who had come to find her was an older woman, with smile lines crinkling around her mouth and winging off the corners of her eyes. She looked almost like a grandmother, except the electric pink afro she had curled off of her head in coils that spoke of youth and vitality and fun. Enid would have liked her, and Wednesday knew you would have too, but she hated the colour pink just as she (mostly) disliked fun people.

The woman had gotten straight down to business, pulling Wednesday into a room with a metal tray of supplies already picked out and holding up her hand.

Even being someone who enjoyed pain as she did, the antiseptic stung when it was placed over the scratches on her fingers. She hissed a bit, and the nurse glanced up at her with pitying eyes, grabbing the supplies for her stitches off of a metal tray.

"You said you punched a tree?"

Wednesday was suspicious of the woman's sudden interest, but nodded. The nurse could probably tell her where you were anyhow. She didn't like making friends, but she could at least make allies. She had called you one of her allies when you had asked. Remembering that hurt now.

"Yes,” she replied, a bit annoyed with the question.

"Why'd you do that, then?"

"I needed to come here. It's important." The nurse began to stitch her up, and Wednesday flinched at the sudden contact.

"What’s important about here?"

Wednesday glanced down at her soaked, dirty shoes. "There's someone staying here I need to see." The nurse looked up at her then, studying her carefully.

"You're here for that kid that came in after being attacked." Wednesday swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. The nurse sighed, wrinkles filling her forehead as she finished up Wednesday's middle finger and moving to her ring finger, holding up the pad to the light. "They were rushed into emergency surgery about twenty minutes ago. You'll have to wait here a while, and just to warn you: it isn’t pretty." Wednesday sent a small glance to her, one that spoke of a timidness the situation had drawn out of her that wasn't previously there.

“Why don't you go home for the night? Get yourself cleaned off and dry."

She shook her head at the woman, frown deep and telling. "I need to be here when they wake up. They don't have anyone else. Both of their parents are deceased, and I need to be there for them."

"I'm sure they would appreciate you coming this far, honey. They're very lucky to have someone who cares for them as much as you do. I've been a nurse for a loooong time, and trust me when I say you've done plenty."

She certainly had not. Wednesday was not immune to the morbid irony of the situation at hand. In reality, she had cared all too much, pretended that she cared not at all, and tricked you for the longest time into thinking she cared too little. Caring had gotten her nowhere- worse, it had gotten you into an ambulance.

"I'm...worried," she struggled to spit the word out at the nurse, who looked at her with soft eyes of encouragement. "I've said some things, that I don’t think I’ll be able to apologise for."

"Shhh," the nurse hummed, finishing Wednesday's final knuckle and taking out some bandages to wrap around the raw skin. "You'll get the chance."

“I’m not sure I will,” Wednesday's frowned deepened. Her lip threatened to quiver a bit, but it was true. She had been so foolish to bring you along- so selfish to allow you to push the bounds of your own safety. It sat lodged in her stomach like a tumour, growing and growing.

If this is what it meant to love you, Wednesday wasn't sure she was ready.

The older woman gave her a sad smile. "Look, there's no shame in making mistakes. The shame is in being too proud to ask for forgiveness for them," she said, standing up from her chair. "They'll be in room 304, I think. Should be out of surgery in a couple hours, in case you want to…”

“I’m not leaving,” Wednesday insisted. And she didn’t, for a while.

Very little could spook an Addams, especially one such as Wednesday, but she had decided it was all too much, seeing you after surgery. It was an utterly horrific sight. Had it been anyone else, Wednesday would be staring at the intricacies of the scars waiting patiently to form, marvelling at the magic of twisted skin and scabs. But no, it was you in that bed, wheeled right in, and she felt the rare urge to vomit.

You were hooked up to so many machines. Buzzing, whirring, and beeping were the only things keeping you alive, and it served as a painful reminder for everything that could have been lost.

A ventilator sat over your mouth, covering your soft lips and strapped to your jaw. Live, it said, as did the several needles and monitors that were hooked into the skin of your hands and arms. There was too much surface area covered. Wednesday, even if she had wanted to, couldn't have held your hand.

Blood was still very much crusted to the planes of your skin in parts, or at least what was visible of it behind your bandages. The white cotton sat in squares and rectangles, taped to your chest and along the stretch of your cheeks and face. You would never be the same, and Wednesday knew it then.

Always, you would bear the evidence of the attack when someone saw you for the first time and winced a bit, and Wednesday held herself as partially responsible. Her love was too thick to sit in. Wednesday Addams swallowed the tears she would deny crying.

She sat with you an hour, then she walked down to the payphone on the corner and called Enid as the sun finally settled for the morning sky.

===+++===

In the three weeks since your attack, you had yet to wake up. The doctors said it was a coma, and that they had no idea when you would wake, if at all, and that only made Wednesday feel worse. She had gone to visit you before, after, and sometimes even during class. Her own hand had healed nicely, though there would be a permanent scar over the knuckle of her index finger from a particularly nasty cut,

On one visit, Enid had said it was as if you "were sleeping," but Wednesday couldn't disagree more. When you slept, it was on your side with your mouth, open, snoring softly. No, instead, you looked like a dead body. Even after acquainted with the room, Wednesday still felt a great pain in her chest upon seeing you every day like that.

Principal Weems had been more than angry, discovering another student had been hospitalised as a result of Wednesday's actions. She was also worried, and annoyingly tried to sign Wednesday up for more sessions with Kinbott.

That wasn't what Wednesday needed, and she shrugged it off as such, every time Kinbott tried to bring up what happened to you, like she was waiting for her to burst into tears. An Addams didn’t cry. Instead Wednesday let the guilt eat her alive.

She also hungered for vengeance. Strewn across her floor was a giant mental map of everything involved in the case, from photos of the bodies (Enid had fainted twice) to crime scenes, and even potential suspects, all laid out accordingly.

As soon as visiting hours were over, she bid you adieu and threw on your yellow raincoat that still smelled like you, before heading out into the dark to solve the mystery. Maybe it was a way to say she was sorry, maybe it was a manifestation of you potentially never waking up- Wednesday didn't know.

What was even more frustrating was how she knew you held the final puzzle piece. She wasn't a fool- your ability to see into the thoughts of those around you was probably what had caused the attempt on your life in the first place. You had intentionally placed yourself in harms way, then, turning off your abilities for her.

You were incredibly powerful for one so laissez-faire about life- a fact that only offended Wednesday more, as you had been the target and not her, or someone else. You, who had just worn your heart on your sleeve to her, listened to her throw it away, and then immediately gotten attacked. You didn't deserve that, just as much as Wednesday didn't deserve you.

Then came the question of what you did deserve to hear when you awoke. If she was such an excellent writer, why couldn't she think of what to say to you if that ever happened? It still didn't feel good enough, no matter how many times she rewrote the letters or changed the order of the sentences. Nothing seemed to feel good enough.

===+++===

Around the fourth week, Wednesday began to leave you long thoughts, like diary entries. She didn't even know if you could hear her, from in there. You had been taken off a ventilator and it looked as if you were finally starting to level out a bit. Wednesday didn't know why, but she suspected you could hear her thoughts.

So she started thinking to you.

It had started small, at first. 'Today is the twenty-sixth day of you being asleep, you know. If you don't wake up, I swear I'll kill you.' She didn't even know if you could actually hear her, or if you'd want to, considering your last interaction. Wednesday itched to talk to you again, and her recounts grew longer and longer.

'Today is the twenty-eighth day of you still not waking up. Mayor Walker passed, yesterday. I have my suspicions of Xavier. He seems to meet with Dr. Kinbott frequently, and it's possible she's Laurel Gates. I'm not sure if I told you about this yesterday, but I summoned my ancestor a few days ago, Goody Addams, and she warned me of the Gates Mansion.'

'Today marks an official month, 31 days, of you not being awake yet. My Uncle Fester is in town. He sends his regards, by the way. He's the bald one I spoke of before, and he was eager to meet you... Enid and I visited the Gates' Mansion with Tyler. We were attacked and Tyler was injured. I know that may alarm you, but I assure you, I'm fine... If you don't wake up... I'll curse you forever.'

She didn't mean it.

‘Today is day thirty six and you’re still not awake. Enid will be waiting with you while I go confront Xavier and have him arrested. You must forget this when you wake, but I miss you… I’m not proud of it but I do. I said I wouldn’t care for you this way but look at me now. You didn’t spoil anything, (Y/n). If you said you loved me now, I would say it back. Give me the chance to say it then, or else.’

Wednesday waited patiently for another minute, hoping even a little bit that her mind would spark you to life. When nothing happened she sighed just as she had every previous day. Enid gave her a sad smile.

“Go get him, Wends. We’ll both be here when you get back,” she said. Wednesday glared at the use of the nickname, but grabbed your yellow raincoat off the back of her chair, shrugging the oversized jacket on and heading out the door. If there was one thing she thought would make amends, it would be catching your attacker and achieving revenge all on her own.

Of course, thirty seconds later, when Wednesday was long gone, you shot up right like a rocket, and Enid let out a scream.

===+++===

You were climbing, it felt like. You weren’t sure what, but you were pulling yourself up and out of something, pads of your fingers gripping the surface and lifting. It was one clutch after the other, and you had no idea how long or where you could possibly be climbing to.

Were you dead? That was entirely possible. You had blacked out with Tyler’s claws ripping and tearing at your chest and come-to in the back of the ambulance as it sped towards the hospital. A nervous-looking paramedic stood over you, casting a shadow over your eyes, and from there you had passed out again. Maybe you had died then.

Of course, it was a possibility. Not a welcome one, but it was still a possibility. Either way, you had to figure out a way to warn Wednesday about Tyler. Maybe if you just kept climbing. Time seemed to slow down, and it was one hand after another.

There was definitely sound coming from the outside world, and it wrapped around your head in mumbly nonsensical jargon. You recognised the voice, that was definitely Wednesday, and she was definitely close. Every now and again small words like 'Xavier,' or 'Kinbott,' would peek through the mist and you were left to wonder as to why they were relevant.

You climbed a bit harder. The voice would come in and then out again, and you were left wondering if days were passing or maybe it had just been an hour. All you knew was to keep climbing. Your fingers felt raw, your arms ached to stop, but you kept going to keep Wednesday safe, wether she wanted you to or not.

Before you knew it, a hand came forward for the last time, and it was like a button had been pressed. Suddenly, you weren't in any void, or any back of an ambulance, you were in a bland hospital room, sitting straight up and looking right at a mortified Enid.

"Oh my god!" She yelled out, pointing at you in surprise. "OH MY GOD!!!" 'WHAT THE FUCK!!!!'

"TYLER!" You yelled back.

"WHAT?!" Enid yelled.

"IT'S TYLER! And hi!"

Enid fainted again, just in time for a nurse to rush in upon noticing you were awake.

===+++===

One thing you had missed dearly whilst in a coma were fruit cups. You sat rather contentedly, eating a mango fruit cup in your soft hospital bedsheets and leaning back against a checkered pillow. From around you in the hospital, noise buzzed in your mind. It felt good to have your blinders off for once, even if it meant you had to focus in on Enid and the noise directly in the room with you.

"Thirty six days???" you asked. Enid nodded.

"Wednesday- I mean all of us 'But mostly Wednesday', were worried sick that you wouldn't wake up. Are you okay? What was it like in there?" 'How the hell are you still alive???'

You shrugged. "Not really sure. I just remember my arms hurt and I was in this void-thing, trying to pull myself out..." You grew serious. "I need to speak to Wednesday."

Enid leaned forward. "And you're sure it was Tyler? He doesn't seem like he could hurt a fly."

"I saw him, Enid. He was covered in blood and he was in his own head thinking about the attack and how pleased Laurel would be for him to succeed. It's him."

"Wednesday thinks it's Xavier," she said. You shook your head.

"She's wrong. I know she's sweet on Tyler, but-"

"-She's not sweet on Tyler, (Y/n). 'You CANNOT still believe that after all of this...though I guess you were comatose' I've said this since the beginning of the year, you bozo. She's sweet on you, and you two are such idiots running around and pretending like you don't know."

The painful memory of your final interaction before the attack came back in waves, pulling you under and tugging you into the deep. You cleared your scratchy throat, still sore from its lack of use. "Enid, Wednesday made it perfectly clear how she felt about me."

Enid rolled her eyes. "You two, I swear you're going give me grey hair. Oh! Speaking of appearances," she sat up. "You haven't seen how you look yet!"

You frowned, not entirely sure you wanted to. You knew you had facial scars- the sharp slashes to your nose and cheeks were enough to know that now, but you weren't sure how much you wanted to see them. Enid pulled out her phone camera, flipping it around to selfie mode.

It wasn't as bad as you thought- a giant twist of a scar curved around the apple of your cheek before reaching up through the lateral third of your eyebrow and stopping shortly after. Another crisscrossed over the bridge of your nose. Still bad, though. They were noticeable, and those were only the ones on your face. You frowned, and Enid seemed to regret asking to show you them. 'I just messed up, didn't I.'

'Oh my, cara mia' said someone's noise in the doorway. You looked up, hearing her arrive, and there she was. Wednesday stood looking almost nervous, hands crossed over her chest awkwardly, like she was uncertain if she was welcome. You tensed. "You're awake," she said.

You nodded. Then you did Wednesday a favour and turned your own noise off to give her the privacy she coveted. Wednesday sent a look over at Enid who just stared. When the werewolf didn't take the hint, Wednesday cleared her throat.

"Oh! Sorry, sorry," said Enid, standing sheepishly. "I guess I'll just go get some food from the cantina...even though I already ate and want to see how this happens," she muttered. Wednesday sent her a much sharper glare, and Enid scurried out of the room.

The moment the door clicked shut, Wednesday spun to you. "If you died, I would have killed you."

"I know," you nodded. "Enid told me you were here all the time." She frowned.

"Never speak of that again," Wednesday said, seeming almost embarrassed. "Enid wasn't supposed to tell you that."

"She's not really good at keeping secrets. You probably shouldn't have told her anything if-"

"-Did you hear them, when you were in there?" She asked, cutting you off mid-sentence with what she had really been wondering the entire time, but too nervous to ask. You blinked.

"Hear what?" If she had been saying important things to you whilst you were under, you didn't know what she was referring to. The look on Wednesday's face was unintelligible.

"I said some important things, (Y/n)," she said, fidgeting with her fingers. "I sent them through my thoughts."

"You also said some important things before I was attacked, Wednesday. You called me a lost puppy."

"I know," she replied. "I was worried this very thing would happen if I didn't."

You snorted cynically. "Looks like it happened when you did, actually." She looked wounded by that, and now you felt bad. "I didn't mean it that way, Wends, I'm just trying to warn you-"

"I love you too," she said.

Any thoughts or words you potentially could have come back with were lost, slipping through your fingers and tumbling to the floor. Wednesday took a step closer, placing her hand on the bed next to you, flipping it over to show you her knuckles. A few small pink scars littered the skin there. You picked it up in your own, brushing over them with your thumb.

"I meant it. I love you too. Even with your scars- which are magnificent." Wednesday thought for a moment, then looked you dead in the eyes. "I love you with a love that is more than love."

"That's Edgar Allan Poe," you whispered. She nodded, then she swallowed, forcing the words out.

"I see now, that I was...wrong. I have been deceitful, and I have been unkind. I pushed you away when you deserve much more than that- likely much more than me. I cannot express how earnest my regret is, and just how much I want your forgiveness-"

"Yeah yeah, stop talking like an old English guy," you said with a laugh, pulling her scarred hand to your lips. You sat up a little bit more, and though it hurt, you pressed your lips to her palm. When you pulled away a moment later, she kissed you full-force. Her hand moved to your neck, playing with the hair there and delivering the perfect amount of gentle longing that made you fall back against the pillow.

She pulled away all too soon again, but the small smile that teased the corner of her mouth spoke of future ones to come. "You said you were going to warn me of something?" She said in between attempts to catch your breath. You raised your eyebrows, remembering the dire information at hand.

"Oh, yeah, Tyler attacked me," you said, leaning your neck back against the pillow.

"What?!" Wednesday said, pulling away with her eyes as angry as ever. "Why didn't you lead with that??" She didn't want to believe it, but she knew you wouldn't lie.

"I got there eventually, and you needed to apologise!"

Wednesday sighed, shaking her head. Though she would never admit it, she did truly miss your ridiculousness. "Anything else?"

"The master of the creature-"

"-It's called a Hyde," Wednesday corrected you.

"Yeah, that. The master of the creature wears red boots. I saw it in Tyler's vision."

The girl in black stood up, heading for the door. "Thank you, cara mia. I'll be back when this is over."

"Go get 'em tiger." She turned to you, unimpressed.

"Shut up."

"Yeah yeah, love you."

After a moment she sighed. "I love you too."

thank you all so much for your support on this story! i absolutely will be writing again, and am here to stay. i cannot thank you all enough, and as always, PLEASE tell me or message me about any typos as i will fix them ASAP. i'll definitely come back and change this later if i feel like it. i tried not to rush the ending but was also majorly conflicted as to where i should leave it off. so if it bugs me later down the line, i'll change it.

[cimmanonrowl]

In the right time, maybe.

Prologue | Chapter Navigation

Pairing: dbf!aaron hotchner x bfd!reader

Theme: angst

Contents: pure angst, age gap, older guy x young woman relationship, forbidden love.

A harsh slap landed on your cheek.

For all you know, you’d seen that one coming— yet the impact of your mother’s palm forced your head to the side. It made your eyes well, your ears ringing with the pain. Your knees were already bruised from the long contact with the cold marble floor. Never in your life have you thought of kneeling to someone but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Not when you had finally gathered the courage to face your parents, not when you’re one step closer to your freedom.

“Break up with that scum,” your mother repeated through gritted teeth, her voice sharp, cutting through the air like a knife. “Cut this nonsense right now, and for once listen to me!”

“I am not breaking up with Aaron,” your voice trembled as you let out a shaky breath. You refused to let the tears fall. No, you will not cry in front of them. “I love him, Mom.”

Your mother’s expression twisted with disgust, her hand still trembling from the force of the slap. “Don’t make me laugh, silly girl. You don’t know what love is,” she spat. “You’re just a child! You can’t see it, but that man was just using you!”

Your heart pounded against your chest, the words cutting deep, but you knew she was wrong. Aaron wasn’t like that. No, he isn’t like that— he wasn’t using you, he loved you. You felt it in the softness of his touch, in every whispered word he spoke. You knew she was lying because you perfectly remember how his gaze cradled you, as if you were the most precious thing in his life.

“You’re wrong, Mom,” you said firmly, shaking your head and blinking away the tears in your eyes.

Your mother barked an insulting laugh. “I’m wrong? And what do you know about love, huh? What do you know about love that you know I’m wrong?”

“And I suppose you do?”

The words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them. 

Then there was a pause, and someone’s strangled sob reverberating in the spacious living room you soon recognized as your own. There was no mistaking the pain in your chest. This is too much to bear. It’s too painful to handle. The tears you had been fighting finally spilled over. While your mother’s eyes widened in shock, a dangerous flicker of rage sparking in them.

“And what the hell does that mean?”

“You don’t know what love is—” you swallowed the bile in your throat, tears streaming down your cheeks, heaving to take a deep breath. “You and Dad… we’re not like you. You don’t laugh with each other, you don’t talk... you go to bed angry! You shout at each other! But not Aaron, Mommy… Aaron never let me feel sad. He always tells me he loves me… even when I hurt him…”

With trembling voice, you reasoned out. With the pain in your chest, you took in the disgust and anger in your parents’ faces. It took you all the courage to not back down. Not this time. You reminded yourself of the years you spent too long bending to their will, suffocating under the weight of their expectations. But you weren’t going to let them take this away from you—not Aaron, not the love that had given you the strength to finally stand up for yourself.

“He’s too old for you,” for the first time that evening, your father finally spoke. The coldness seeping in his voice was punctuated with authority that always made you feel small and powerless. “You will end this… this foolishness with Aaron, and you will do it tonight.”

You could feel your resolve wavering under his intense gaze, but you forced yourself to stay strong. “I can’t do that,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. But even as the words left your lips, you felt the weight of them settle in the room like a stone. “I won’t do that., Daddy. I’m sorry.”

“Do you even hear yourself?” your mother hissed, her voice rising with each word. “Do you hear how ridiculous you sound? You’re throwing away everything—for what? For a man who’s old enough to be your father?”

“It doesn’t matter,” you argued still. “Not to me. I’m legal age. I can make decisions for myself. And I know you don’t understand, but I do. Aaron loves me. He’s not using me, he’s not—”

Your mother cut you off with a sharp gesture, her hand slicing through the air. You almost flinched with the thought that she was going to slap you again. 

���Stop it! Stop saying that nonsense! Do you think he’s going to stay with you? You think he’s going to give up his bachelor life for a girl like you?” she let out a mocking laugh. “You’re nothing to him, sweetheart, don’t you see that? You’re just a… a distraction. A pretty little thing he can toss aside when he’s bored!”

But no amount of hateful words would shake your belief in Aaron. “You’re wrong, Mom,” you repeated, more firmly this time. “You don’t know him like I do. He loves m–”

“He will leave you when he’s had his fill of your innocence.”

“No, he won’t!”

“And how sure are you?”

“He’s my best friend. He’s supposed to look after you and look at what he’s done.”

You turned to your father, eyes rimmed red from all the tears. “And what did he do exactly, Daddy?”

“He took advantage of you! You– he turned you into this! He knew you were fucking naive!”

That ruptured right through your soul; the insinuation that you didn’t know what you were doing, as if that alone was reason enough to end things. That Aaron was too old for you. And he took advantage of you because in their eyes, you’ve always been the catered, spoiled little kid.

“I’m not! Don’t talk about him like that, Dad!”

“I will talk to him the way I please!” he spat angrily. “I will kill that man, just so you wait!”

“But Daddy, I love him!” you cried, the words bursting out of you with desperation you couldn’t hold back any longer. Tears ran down your cheeks in hot, angry streams. “I love him, Daddy. Please, listen to me…”

“Love?” your mother crossed her arms, the word dripping with disdain. “You think this is love? You’re too young to even understand what love is. This is disgusting. Do you really think he’ll still want you when you’re not this naive little girl anymore? When the thrill is gone?”

Your tears came faster now, uncontrollable, as you looked up at her, your heart breaking not just from the pain of the slap, but from the realization that she could be so cruel, so dismissive of your feelings. They were not even trying to hear you out.

“He’s not like that…” you sobbed, your voice breaking. “He’s not using me. He loves me, too! Why can’t you see that?”

“Because it’s not love!” your mother snapped, her voice rising again, shrill with frustration and something else— fear, maybe, or desperation. “It’s not real, and it’s not going to last. You’re going to ruin your life over this stupidity!”

It almost sounded like she’s trying to convince herself more than you.

Your father stepped forward, his shadow falling over as he towered above you, his expression cold, unyielding. “This ends tonight,” he said, his voice low but firm. “You’re not seeing him anymore. We’ll make sure of it.”

Panic surged through you at his words, the finality of them. You crawled closer, your hands clasping together in a desperate plea. “You can’t do that, Daddy! Don’t do this to me, please.”

You glanced at your mother, but she just looked away, her expression hardening as she steeled herself against your pleas. “We’re doing what’s best for you, even if you hate us for it.”

“I don’t hate you,” your voice cracked as you knelt before them, your tears falling freely now. “I just… I love him, Mommy. Why is that so wrong?”

“Because it is,” your father said, his tone leaving no room for argument. “This is over. You’ll thank us someday when you’ve forgotten all about him, and when you marry someone your age- from a proper and respectable family.”

But you knew, deep in your heart, that you would never forget. The love you felt for Aaron was real, and it consumed you in a way you couldn’t explain. He caused this chaos you willingly embraced. And as you knelt there, trembling with the weight of their words, you felt more trapped and alone than you ever had in your life.

The tears kept flowing, but they didn’t seem to soften your parents’ resolve. 

You looked up at your father, your vision blurred by tears. “And if I don’t?” you whispered, fear gnawing at the edges of your defiance.

“You really have no idea what you’re doing, do you?” your mother interjected. “Do you understand the uproar this will cause? The disgrace you’ll bring to this family? To our name?”

“Why do I have to care about them? This is about me!”

“You stupid girl!”

You knew what she was talking about. The standing of your family in the society. You were part of the elite, the upper crust, where every action, every decision, was scrutinized under a microscope. You were expected to be perfect, to uphold the family’s reputation, to follow the path that had been laid out for you since birth. A path that did not include falling in love with your father’s best friend.

“I can’t, Dad…” you whispered, barely audible. “I won’t.”

“Then I will make sure you never see him again,” your father said, each word heavy with threat. “You won’t have a choice.”

“W-what will you do, Dad?”

“I will pull every string I could land my hands on and send him away,” you knew your father was a man of his word. “I will send him to Iraq, to Pakistan, to fucking Iran if I have to, and get him killed there. You think I can’t do that?”

You bowed your head, your tears falling silently onto the marble floor. You knew that nothing you said would change their minds. They had made their decision, and you were powerless to fight it.

But even as you rose shakily to your feet, the sting of your mother’s slap still lingering, you couldn’t stop thinking of Aaron. His face, his voice, the way he held you in your sleep, the way his eyes crinkle at the corner with his lame jokes, how he works hard to fulfill his promises, and all the mornings you’d feel him kiss your forehead as he thought you were still asleep. You’d never forget the way he made you feel alive and seen in a way no one else ever had.

And those memories lingered after seven years had passed.

The hospital air was sterile and cold, and the heavy smell of antiseptic was making the throbbing in your head more palpable. You stepped out of your father’s hospital room, your heart heavy with the weight of seeing him so frail, so unlike the powerful man he once was. The beeping machines, the rushed footsteps echoing outside in the hallways—it all felt surreal, like you were moving through a bad dream you couldn’t wake up from.

Your attention drifted to your phone when you felt if buzz in your hand, pulling you back to reality. It was a text from your boyfriend. You hesitated for a moment before opening it, hoping it was some kind of reassurance. But as you read his words, your heart sank even more.

I’m sorry, babe. Work is crazy right now. I can’t get away.

You swallowed hard, feeling the familiar sting of disappointment. You’ve been through this with him before, always the same excuses, the same apologies that left you feeling emptier each time. 

With a sharp sigh, you dialed his number, the phone pressed to your ear as you stepped away from the room, needing space, needing air.

“This is important,” you said as soon as he answered, your voice strained. “My father’s in the hospital. He’s… he’s not doing well. I need you here.”

There was a pause on the other end, and you could almost hear him weighing his options, trying to decide how to soften yet another blow. “I know, and I’m sorry,” he finally said, his tone frustratingly calm. “But I’ve got this big project—”

“A project?” you cut him off, incredulous. “My father might be dying, just so you know. And you’re telling me you’re too busy with a project?”

“It’s not just a project, it’s—look, I’ll come as soon as I can, okay? Just… not right now.”

“What the fuck does that mean? Get your ass on the very first flight tomorrow morning and meet me here.”

“I can’t do that, babe. I’m sorry…” he apologized, his voice dripping with softness that only made you even more nauseated. “I’ll come visit once my schedule is clear, okay?”

The frustration heightened in your chest, tightening around your heart. “Are you serious right now?” you repeated, your voice trembling. “We’re talking about my father. This is the man who raised me. And I’m here alone, trying to hold it together, and you can’t even show up? Are you fucking serious?”

“I said I’ll come later!” He snapped, his patience clearly wearing thin. Well, he’s not known for his patience, anyway. “Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”

“Because it is a big deal!” you shouted, the words echoing down the empty corridor. “You’re supposed to be my boyfriend. You’re supposed to care about what I’m going through!”

“Just because you’re frustrated doesn’t mean you can pour it down on me. It’s not fair, babe.”

“What the fuck did you just say?!”

There was a heavy silence on the other end, the kind that tells you you’ve crossed a line. “I’m sorry,” he finally said, his voice cold now. You just know he didn’t even mean his apology. “But I can’t drop everything in a snap. We’ll talk about this later. Bye, I love you.”

Before you could even respond, or register the words he said, the call ended. You stared at the screen, your hand trembling with the urge to throw the phone across the hall. But you didn’t. Instead, you took a deep breath (the way someone taught you in the past), closed your eyes, and tried to steady yourself. Even when you feel like the whole world was crumbling beneath your feet.

When you opened your eyes, though, you saw that someone standing a few feet away, watching you. He appeared like a product of your feeble imagination. But you felt your throat tighten, your heart skipping a beat as you recognized who it really was.

Aaron.

Seven years have passed since that night, since the conversation you had with your parents, and the last time you ever saw him. Seven years of trying to forget, to move on, to build a life that didn’t revolve around him. You tried for your life to go on. And for some time, you did well. You could even say your parents were happy with your decisions… for once.

But now, with him standing there in the stark hospital hallway, all the memories came rushing back, overwhelming you with waves of emotions you were not prepared to face.

He looked different now. The years have etched lines into his face, and there was a hardness in his expression that wasn’t there before. His eyes, once so warm when they looked at you, are colder now, distant. And as he stepped closer, you could feel the tension radiating off him, like he didn’t care about your existence.

“Hey,” even his voice was different, it carried an edge and coldness that you don’t remember hearing before. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Your heart clenched at the tone. “Aaron...” you finally managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper. “Ah, yes, I just landed last night. What... what are you doing here?”

He shrugged, probably as politely as he could, his eyes flicking to your phone, still clenched in your hand. “Heard about your father,” he said, his tone flat. “Thought I’d come to check on him. He’s an old… friend, after all.”

“Of course…” you cleared your throat. “That’s so nice of you.”

“Not like it’s the first time he’s been in the hospital, though, right?”

The comment stung, and you flinched, feeling the bitterness behind his words. “It’s different this time,” you struggled to keep your voice steady. “He’s not doing well, and I—”

“And you what?” Aaron interrupted, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Needed someone to lean on? Thought your boyfriend would be here for that.”

The bitterness in his tone is impossible to miss now, and it cut through you like a knife. You felt a surge of defensiveness rise up, mingled with shame. “He’s just busy,” the words sounded hollow even to your own ears as you defended him. “He’s got work—”

“Work?” Aaron repeated, his voice laced with disbelief. “Your father’s in the hospital, and he can’t even bother to show up?”

The harshness of his words made you wince, but you couldn’t deny the truth in them. So, instead, you looked down, unable to meet his eyes. “He said he’d come later,” you mumbled, feeling the familiar weight of disappointment settle in your chest.

“Right,” Aaron muttered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Later. Sure.”

You ignored that. “And my mom… she’s coming later, too. She was on a cruise… so...”

You wanted to defend your boyfriend, to explain, but the words won’t come out. Because deep down, you know Aaron was right. And standing here, in front of the man you once loved, the man who was always there for you without a single beat of hesitation, it felt like the weight of your choices was crashing down on you all at once.

Maybe your life didn’t go on better than you hoped.

Than you made yourself believe.

“Aaron, I…” you started, but your voice faltered as you looked up at him, seeing the anger in his eyes, the hurt that he was trying so hard to mask. “Aren’t you busy? You still… you still work with the Beareu, I assume?”

He watched you with piercing eyes. “We just finished a case,” he admitted, his voice softer now, though still tinged with bitterness. “But when I heard about your dad… I couldn’t just ignore it.”

“T-thanks. Did you hear that I wa–”

“I’m not here for you.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you had to force yourself to stay upright, to not let him see how deeply they affected you. “Of course,” you whispered, your throat tight with embarrassment. “But… thank you for coming. For checking on him.”

Aaron nodded and didn’t say anything else.

But there was so much you wanted to say, so many things you wish you could go back and change, and the wall between you was built too high, too thick. While Aaron stood there, his expression guarded, you realized that the man you once knew was no longer the same. 

The years have changed him, hardened him in ways you never imagined.

“I’ll go check on him. Excuse me,” he said, the words carrying a finality that leaves no room for anything more. 

Without waiting for a response, he walked past you and entered your father’s room, his footsteps echoing down the corridor, leaving you standing outside alone. Aaron never left you by yourself. The weight of everything unsaid pressed down on you is like a crushing burden.

You looked over your shoulder and watched him disappear. That was when everything hit you. The man you loved may still be there; the same kind and loving man who was more than willing to go out of his way for the people he cares about… but he’s different now, distant in a way that feels irreversible. 

And as the tears you’ve been holding back finally spilled over, you wondered if maybe this is the universe’s way of telling you that some things really are better left in the past. That you will heal— in the right time, maybe.

Note: The next chapters may contain r18+ scenes and proper tags will be administered accordingly. But even if this is not fully a smut fic, I don't want to see any minor, please.

PS., Do me a favor and listen to Taylor Swift's 'But Daddy I Love Him' for the sake of me causing havoc. This was also inspired by 'The Notebook' if you guys saw the reference. Also, this one is dedicated to @thatlittlered. I'm not sure they remember me (But I do!) And this might not be a-100k fic as you requested but you did inspire me to write with this theme, so thank you!

As always, I appreciate every like, reblog, and replies! Hope everyone's good and hydrated! Drink your water! xx

Tag list: @downbad4reid, @roseydoesypoesy, @pastelpinkflowerlife, @justyourusualash, @hotchsmutrecs, @msfreedom, @birdysaturne, @gghostwriter, @mrs-ssa-hotch, @fore45fore, @actualdeemon, @diksy1112, @jethro-mcgee-tony, @hotchnerbau, @iniyalovesall, @222hwilsss, @balariie, @oliviabbb, @ncis0mrs0gibbs, @jasonswhitetuftofhair, @m4pl

[demoniofleur10]

This was their second festival together, and the first one they attended as husband and wife. Their marriage had been everything they had hoped for—peaceful, passionate, and filled with love. Sanemi couldn’t have been happier.

He had brought his wife along with the other Hashiras, who had decided to take a break from their duties to enjoy the festivities. As they strolled through the vibrant streets, Sanemi couldn’t take his eyes off her. The flowers tucked delicately into her hair, which cascaded down to her waist, made her look ethereal under the lantern lights. The soft glow accentuated her beauty, leaving Sanemi utterly captivated.

Each time someone glanced at her with admiration, he felt a surge of possessiveness rise within him. She was his, and the thought of others coveting her made his blood simmer. He entertained the idea of glaring at every man who dared to look her way, but he restrained himself, knowing it would only cause a scene.

But the thought lingered. He needed to remind her—and himself—that she belonged to him. The night had barely begun, and already he was thinking about taking her home, where he could love her the way he wanted to. No, the way he needed to. The desire to claim her, to mark her as his, was overwhelming, fueled by the knowledge that so many eyes had lingered on his beautiful wife.

For now, he contented himself with keeping her close, his hand resting possessively on her waist as they walked, his mind already planning how the night would end when they were finally alone.

But not now, not while his wife was caught up in the joyous ritual, dancing around a grand oak tree with an infectious smile that lit up her entire face. Tengen’s wives had eagerly pulled her into their circle, along with Mitsuri, and now the women twirled and laughed, their voices echoing through the night air. The sound of their giggles and the sight of their carefree movements brought a warmth to the festival that even Sanemi couldn’t deny.

He watched her with a mix of admiration and yearning, her laughter ringing in his ears like the sweetest melody. The way she moved, so effortlessly graceful and full of life, stirred something deep within him. But as much as he loved seeing her so happy, the ache in his chest grew stronger. He needed her by his side, away from the prying eyes of others, where he could be alone with her.

Unable to resist any longer, Sanemi strode forward, his heart pounding with anticipation. He reached her just as she spun around, gently catching her wrist. She looked up at him, surprised, her cheeks flushed from the dance. Without a word, he tugged her towards him, the touch of her skin against his sending a thrill through his veins.

The hashiras watched from a distance, their reactions a mix of amusement and surprise. Some exchanged knowing smirks, their eyes sparkling with mischief, while others looked on with a blend of embarrassment and curiosity. A few playfully rolled their eyes, accustomed to the passionate displays between their fellow hashira.

He didn’t stop until they were deep within the woods, the sounds of the festival fading into the distance. The moonlight filtered through the trees, casting a soft glow on her face as she looked at him with wide, curious eyes. Here, surrounded by nothing but the quiet rustling of leaves and the steady beat of their hearts, they were finally alone. No one would find them here, no one would intrude.

He pressed her back against the rough bark of a tree, his movements swift and decisive. Before she could utter a single word, his lips descended on hers, capturing them in a searing kiss that left no room for hesitation. His tongue immediately sought entry, delving into her mouth with a fervor that made her head spin, filling her senses with the intoxicating taste of him.

Her initial surprise melted into a heady mixture of desire and submission as she clung to him, her hands grasping at his yukata. The world around them seemed to disappear, leaving only the heat of their bodies and the wild beat of their hearts echoing in the stillness of the woods.

Sanemi's hands roamed her body with an urgency that mirrored the hunger in his kiss. His fingers expertly worked at the folds of her kimono, pushing the fabric higher until his hand found the soft skin of her thigh. A low growl of satisfaction rumbled in his chest as his hand slid between her thighs, his touch sending a shiver of anticipation down her spine.

He broke the kiss just long enough to breathe her name, his voice rough and filled with need. The way she looked up at him, her lips slightly parted and her eyes half-lidded with desire, only fueled the fire burning inside him. His hand teased her inner thigh, inching closer to where she was already aching for his touch.

Sanemi’s breath was hot against her ear as he leaned in, his voice a husky whisper. "You're mine," he murmured, the possessiveness in his tone leaving no doubt of his intentions. The words sent a thrill through her, her body responding eagerly to his touch, craving the intensity he offered.

"Sanemi, not here!" she whisper-shouted, her voice trembling with a mix of embarrassment and shyness as her cheeks flushed a deep crimson. Despite her protest, she couldn’t ignore the warmth spreading through her body from his touch, the way her heart raced under his intense gaze.

Sanemi's lips curled into a wicked smirk, his eyes darkening with desire as he reveled in her reaction. He ignored her words, his fingers finally finding their way to the damp spot where she needed him most. Slowly, he traced the outline of her wet, clothed folds, his touch both teasing and deliberate. Each caress sent jolts of pleasure through her, drawing soft, airy moans from her lips that she couldn’t suppress.

"Your body tells a different story," he murmured, his voice dripping with smug satisfaction. He leaned in, his hot breath fanning across her neck as his tongue traced a slow, deliberate path from her collarbone up to her ear. She shivered as his tongue flicked against her earlobe before he pressed his lips against her skin, leaving a trail of hot, possessive bite marks in his wake.

She bit her lip, trying to stifle the sounds of pleasure that threatened to spill out, but it was no use. Every touch, every kiss, every bite only heightened her senses, making her more aware of how deeply she craved him, despite the risk of being caught. His fingers continued their relentless exploration, applying just enough pressure to drive her wild, yet holding back to keep her teetering on the edge.

"Sanemi," she whimpered, her voice barely above a whisper, a mixture of pleading and surrender in her tone. Her protests were weakening, her resolve crumbling under his expert touch. She could feel the heat pooling between her thighs, the tension building within her with every stroke of his fingers.

Sanemi chuckled darkly against her skin, the sound vibrating through her. "That’s what I thought," he teased, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear. He pressed his fingers more firmly against her, eliciting a sharp gasp from her as her head fell back against the tree. The sensation was too much, too overwhelming, and she could no longer fight the desire burning inside her.

He claimed her mouth again in a fierce, demanding kiss, his tongue plunging inside to taste her, to claim her completely. His free hand gripped her waist, pulling her even closer, as if he couldn’t get enough of her. This was no longer about where they were; it was about the undeniable pull between them, the raw need that only they could satisfy.

With a practiced ease, Sanemi began to loosen her obi belt, just enough to let it slip from her waist and fall away from her shoulders, revealing her bare skin beneath. The fabric slid down, exposing her breasts to the cool night air. His breath hitched as he took in the sight, his eyes darkening with raw desire. Unable to resist, he leaned down, his mouth immediately seeking out one of her hardened buds.

The moment his lips closed around her sensitive nipple, a gasp escaped her, followed by a moan she barely managed to muffle by clamping a hand over her mouth. The intensity of his touch sent waves of pleasure coursing through her, making it impossible to stay silent. Sanemi groaned against her skin, the sound vibrating through her as he flicked his tongue expertly over the peak, swirling it in maddening circles before sucking it into his mouth like it was his most prized possession.

He was relentless, his mouth working her over with a fervor that made her toes curl. She could feel his hot breath against her skin, the way he alternated between gentle licks and rougher bites, leaving her utterly breathless. Her free hand clutched at his hair, anchoring herself as he switched to her other breast, giving it the same passionate attention.

His fingers, not content to stay idle, began to trail down her body, teasing her through the thin fabric that still covered her lower half. He found her clothed clit and began to stroke it in slow, deliberate motions, his fingers pressing just enough to drive her wild without giving her the release she craved.

Her moans grew louder, even as she tried to stifle them, the combination of his mouth on her breasts and his fingers between her thighs overwhelming her senses. Her body responded to him with a fervor that matched his own, hips involuntarily arching towards his hand, seeking more of the pleasure he so expertly gave.

Sanemi smirked against her skin, loving the way she writhed beneath him, completely at his mercy. He could feel her need growing, her body trembling with the desire for more. The way she looked at him, with her eyes glazed over with passion, only fueled his own hunger. He wanted to devour her, to make her lose herself completely in him.

"Look at you," he murmured, his voice low and husky, "so beautiful, so perfect." He nipped at her collarbone before returning to her breasts, his tongue tracing the curve of her chest as he lavished her with attention. "You’re mine," he whispered, his words a possessive growl that sent shivers down her spine.

His fingers continued their torment, rubbing her clothed clit with more urgency now, as if he couldn’t wait to hear her cry out his name. He could feel how wet she was, her arousal soaking through the fabric, and it only made him more eager to strip her completely and claim her as his.

Sanemi abruptly stopped his ministrations, causing a desperate whine to escape her lips. She gazed up at him with pleading eyes, her hips instinctively bucking in search of the friction she so desperately needed. Her breath hitched, and she couldn’t suppress the desire that coursed through her.

“Look at you, so needy… but don’t worry, I’m right here,” he murmured, his voice dripping with dark promise. He kissed her neck tenderly, the softness of the gesture contrasting sharply with the hunger in his eyes. Then, with a swift movement, he turned her around, pulling her kimono up until it bunched around her waist, exposing her to the cool night air.

His rough hands slid down, pushing her panties to the side, the sudden exposure making her shiver. He lowered his hakama, revealing his hard length, and gave it a few firm pumps, the anticipation building between them. The sight of her, so vulnerable and eager, drove him wild. He positioned himself behind her, aligning the tip of his throbbing shaft with her slick folds. Slowly, he dragged the tip along her entrance, teasing her, the sensation eliciting a shaky moan from her lips.

“Sanemi,” she gasped, her voice trembling with need. But before she could utter another word, he thrust forward, plunging deep inside her in one powerful stroke. The sudden intrusion made her cry out in pleasure, the force of his entry sending shockwaves through her body. She could feel him filling her completely, stretching her in ways that left her breathless.

“Let me break you,” he whispered darkly against her ear, the words a husky promise that sent a shiver down her spine. He pulled back slowly, until only the tip of his length remained inside her, before driving forward again with a force that left her gasping. Each thrust was deep and deliberate, designed to make her feel every inch of him, to remind her exactly who she belonged to.

Sanemi’s pace gradually increased, his hips slamming against her with a fervor that left her weak in the knees. She writhed beneath him, her body responding to his every movement, the pleasure building to an unbearable height. Her hands scrabbled at the tree for support, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps as she tried to keep up with the intense rhythm he set.

One of his hands found her breast, kneading the soft flesh with a rough tenderness that left her moaning. His other hand slid down to rest possessively on her womb, a silent claim that made her heart race. The feel of his hand there, combined with the relentless pace of his thrusts, pushed her closer and closer to the edge.

Sanemi grunted with effort, his focus entirely on the way she felt around him, the way her body seemed to melt under his touch. The sounds she made, the way her body quivered with each thrust, only fueled his desire to completely unravel her. He wanted to feel her break apart beneath him, to know that he was the one driving her to the brink of ecstasy.

Her walls clenched around him, her body trembling with the effort to hold on as pleasure surged through her. “Sanemi, I—” she tried to speak, but the words dissolved into a moan as he hit a particularly sensitive spot inside her.

He could tell she was close, the way her body tightened, the way her breath hitched in her throat. Sanemi leaned in, his lips brushing against her ear as he whispered, “Come for me.” His voice was a dark, commanding growl that left no room for hesitation.

And with one final, powerful thrust, he pushed her over the edge. She shattered around him, her orgasm crashing over her like a tidal wave, leaving her clinging to him for support as her legs threatened to give out. Sanemi followed soon after, his own release triggered by the way she tightened around him, the intense pleasure making him growl low in his throat as he filled her completely.

For a moment, they remained like that, their bodies entwined, breathing heavily in the aftermath of their passion. Sanemi’s hands caressed her gently now, his touch softening as he held her close, savoring the feel of her against him. He pressed a kiss to the back of her neck, a tender gesture that contrasted with the intensity of their earlier actions.

“You’re mine,” he murmured once more, the possessiveness in his tone softened by the love that underscored it. She nodded weakly, still catching her breath, her body warm and sated against his.

Inspired by Under the oak tree

[filynxs]

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆ Bullies. I part one

art by: @kcokaine

pov: You were different. Different from the other students at your school, different from the girls at your age, and different from the people who were supposed to understand you. When you went on the first day of your new school, your mother told you to keep your special powers secret. There might have been people who had the same strengths as you, but that wouldn‘t mean that they wouldn‘t try to steal yours. Ever since then, you have kept your cursed energy secret. However, when Satoru Gojo and Sukuna crossed your path, it became difficult for you to bear this secret, because they knew something… Thus, your school life became hell.

pairing: Satoru Gojo x fem!reader x Sukuna

content: bullying, harassment, physical violence, bullying as love language, strong language, bullies x reader

song: Love Me Harder - WOODZ

"Oh, now look who‘s there," a deep voice echoed in your ears from behind when you were about to open your locker. You flinched, clearly startled by the huge presence you had felt looming behind your back.

"I nearly oversaw her because she's so short," another, warmer voice exclaimed with a chortle, and a hand firmly found its way to your shoulder.

Your muscles tensed up the second you felt Satoru's hand on your shoulder, tightly digging his fingers into your arm through your shirt before turning you around.

"Hey there," Sukuna greeted you, his voice reverberating in your ears and sending an unpleasantly cold shiver down your spine.

Your heart was hammering against your chest at an immense pace, as if asking to jump out and run away from this place. You wanted to flee, to vanish from this place, but you couldn't.

Satoru pushed you against the lockers, causing a loud sound to ring in the corridor. The students chatting until then became quiet, and a few had already left the place, leaving you alone in your bullies' hands.

"Please, leave me alone," you stammered with a weak voice, clinging to the books you carried in your arms. Your eyes drifted away from your counterparts' bright, blue and red ones, avoiding their intruding gazes. "I have a math lesson now."

When you heard Satoru click his tongue, you hastily gazed up again, catching him shaking his head. Sukuna stepped toward you, and his large hand grabbed your chin. His sharp nails dug into the delicate skin of your face, spreading a warm heat through your cheeks.

"Math can wait," Satoru rasped, leaning closer to prop his arm on the lockers, his hand nearly touching your head. "There is still something you want to tell us, isn't there?" He crooked his head, and you could feel his breath fanning against your ear.

The blood vessel in your neck was pounding, and every single one of your senses was on high tour. Your ears could hear the birds chirping outside, your nose could smell the spicy food the cook prepared in the cafeteria, and your eyes could catch every single line of Satoru's face.

You shook your head and swallowed sharply, your throat becoming sore and dry. It was not like you wanted to tell them anything, but you could sense they knew more about you than you gave off.

"Really?" Sukuna purred, your eyes darting to his. It felt like his ruby red irises were piercing your soul with a glare that would be engraved in your brain for a long while, haunting you in your dreams. His hand tightened around your chin, and he then threw you against another wall.

Your temple hit the window sill when you fell, and you harshly landed on your bum. A warmth formed on the side of your head, accompanied by a pounding feeling. When you hesitantly touched the spot with your trembling fingers, blood covered the skin of your fingertips. You took a deep, shaky breath when a drop of blood rolled down your temple, landing on your skirt.

"What?" Satoru laughed, and you heard the two of them approaching you. You raised your chin to gaze up at them, and you couldn't stop your body from trembling. They leaned down to study the anxiety on your face, grins spreading across their faces. "You cryin'?"

Sukuna chortled at Satoru's inquiry, reaching out to tenderly pat your head. "She's not," he replied, his voice ringing deep in his throat when stared back at you. His brows slightly furrowed as the corners of his lips twitched up into an even more wicked smile. "Go ahead," he spoke to you, pointing at you with a mere head movement, "heal yourself."

Your eyes widened, and your breath caught in your throat. It was never entirely clear to you why the two of them treated you like that, but at that moment, it felt like all your assumptions were confirmed. They knew about the power that loomed inside you. No, they could feel it without even having to know about it. The thing you had kept secret for so long was never a secret to them, but rather a stated fact.

"I should heal myself?" you huffed, grabbing Sukuna's wrist to remove his hand from your head. With the back of your hand, you wiped the blood off your temple and got on your wobbly feet. The two kept their gazes on you, not daring to look away. Nevertheless, their pleased grins wouldn't leave their faces. "I do not know what you are talking about," you hissed, picking your things up before proceeding to leave.

However, just when you were about to do so, someone grabbed your arm to prevent you, and when you turned around, you saw that it was Satoru. His grin became fainter, and his brows furrowed.

"Careful," he warned you, narrowing his eyes ever so slightly. "If you don't get your wound treated, the pain will get worse."

You snorted in response and yanked your arm out of his grasp, spinning around to leave with rash strides that rang in the corridor. As you walked, you could hear the two of them chuckling at you and calling things out to you, but you didn't listen to what they said.

part two: here

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 9

part 1 | part 8 | ao3

cw: medical emergency

He ditches his car at the top of the street, runs the rest of the way because there are too many people standing around — a small crowd of onlookers clustered at the bottom of the lane, gawking in their sleep shirts and flannels like the world isn’t trying to end for a fourth time. Fifth? He can’t keep track. He can’t even think, numb to everything but the pounding of his shoes against the pavement, the sirens wailing in his ears, the steady prayer in his pulse not her not now not both—

“Mom?” he shouts, voice cracking and raw. “Mom!!”

“It’s not for her.”

There’s a hand against his chest then, heel of a palm pressed to his sternum, and he slams into it like a brick wall. The air burns in his lungs; he can’t focus his eyes. “Wh-what?” he gets out, voice shaking, throat thick. Cold terror drools down his sweaty neck like the breath of a hungry monster. He’s a little kid again, swept up in the mayhem of a crowded mall. Where’s his mom; where’s his mom?

“Your mom’s in my house.” The voice is deep and slow, the hand flexing against his shirt. Fingers splayed. Heavy rings.

“…E-Eddie?” Steve’s vision swims, going yellow and purple then tunneling down to black, deep water filling his ears. Nothing makes any sense. “Munson, what—?”

“Your mom’s in my house,” he repeats like a mantra. Like a lighthouse in the fog, voice rumbling and sure. “She’s safe. She’s fine. You’re hyperventilating; take a breath.”

His breath is still catching quick and high in his throat, little puffs of cold mist. Can you drown in cold air? Can it condense inside your chest?

Eddie grips his shoulder, snaps his fingers in Steve’s face. “Hey. Hey, Steve? Come on, man, look at me. Steve. Look at me.”

Steve meets his gaze like the tide drawn to the moon.

“Deep breath,” he demonstrates, sucking air through an invisible straw, letting his chest and belly swell. Steve copies him until his vision starts to clear, until his heartbeat starts to calm. "That's it," Eddie tells him. "Good. Yeah, there we go."

Some hysterical part in the back of his brain wants to laugh. To start and never stop, just laugh and laugh and laugh until his fucking head explodes.

When he can breathe again, he pants weakly, “What is going on?”

Eddie guides him to a picnic table on the outskirts of the crowd, and they perch on top of it with their feet planted on the bench. The air feels calmer here.

Steve takes another breath.

Eddie points to the single-wide right next to Steve’s. “The wagon’s for your neighbor,” he grimaces in sympathy, one eye squinting shut as he cocks his head at Steve. “Ernie. You know him?”

“Mm.” Ernie Gerwitz. Late 60s, a widower with liver spots and arthritis in both hands. Bad heart, worse drinking habit. Fucking hates Steve’s mom because she backed over his begonias. “Not well.”

They didn’t interact much beyond an occasional neighborly nod, although Steve did once earn the guy’s good graces by yelling at Misty while shooing her off with a rake. (‘Little bitch left me a whole damn weasel last year,’ he’d grumbled as he stooped to pick up the newspaper. ‘Can't shoot her, though, 'cause she scares away the possums.’) And now…

Steve can’t make out much from here, just the shape of a four-man stretcher being carried out the door, strobe light streaks in his vision as the EMTs load up the van.

“Is he…” Steve gulps, clasping his hands between his knees. He doesn’t want to ask this question. The words taste moldy in his mouth. “Is he dead?”

Eddie’s hand shakes a little when he drags it down his cheek. His answer comes on a wobbly sigh, an almost melodic quality to the tension in his voice. “No-o idea, man. Your, uh, your mom, ya know, she— She found him. In, um. In the yard." "Jesus." "Said he was just, like... lying there. In the grass.” Eddie stares off into the distance like he’s seeing it right now; makes a wet clucking sound as his bottom lip quivers. “Thinks it was, a- a heart thing, or something? Shit, I don’t know. She was pretty freaked out when she knocked on my door.”

Steve can't picture it. He hasn’t seen her express a single true emotion since July.

A hesitant hitch of breath, and Eddie chews on his next words, tapping a hand against his thigh. “She’s, uh... she’s… calmer now. Or. At least-”

Steve rolls his eyes, knows exactly where this is going. Eddie tries again: “I mean, she seemed like-”

“Like a fucking zombie?” Steve supplies.

“Yeah,” Eddie huffs, a nervous laugh of relief. You said it, man, not me. There’s something serious in his gaze, something curious and searching.

Something almost kind. Steve shrinks away from it like a vampire in the sun. Go on, he wants to say, ask about the fucking pills. Wants to goad him into a fight, some mean, sharp thing inside him itching to see someone else bleed.

Steve bites his tongue until he tastes metallic tang. Copper covering mildew; fresh bloom coating decay. He swallows hard, lets them both slide down his throat — blood and ghosts, life and death. The River Styx must taste like pennies.

The siren starts again, and Eddie groans and hangs his head. “Christ," he murmurs to the dirt, “Wayne’s gonna be so bummed.”

They both watch in silence as the ambulance goes by.

—

part 10

okay same deal tagging whoever commented yesterday (if your settings will let me) you’re all delightful tysm 😘 @paintsplatteredandimperfect @thefreakandthehair @slutforcoffein @manda-panda-monium @munsonfamilybandalso @aliea82 @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple @lololol-1234 @hotluncheddie @pennyplainknits @disrespectedgoatman @carolinachickadee @insideiscold @acedorerryn @anne-bennett-cosplayer @violetsteve my actual wife blessings upon your house @lighthousebeams @steves-strapcollection @sirsnacksalot @stevesbipanic @slowandsteddie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @so-get-this-sammy @annabanannabeth @runninriot @cuips-not-cute @a-little-unsteddie @envyadams-vs-me @ppunkpuppyy if i forgot anyone i’m sorry i am very sleep deprived

[the-sunflower-room]

✧ to die by your side ✧

dazai x fem!reader

☆ genre: angst, hurt/comfort

☆ wc: 9.5k

☆ summary: dazai’s girlfriend is kidnapped by a revenge-seeking enemy and must count down the agonizing minutes to her death. dazai and the rest of the ada race to save her before time runs out.

☆ warnings: kidnapping, violence, language, mentions of blood/torture/drugging, dazai-typical suicide mentions, brief mentions of throwing up, self-loathing dazai, panic attacks, etc- overall just pretty angsty! slightly canon divergent with the way i wrote dazai’s ability. i also threw in some comfort at the end as a little treat <3

………………………………………………………………………………….

Pain. Blinding pain.

That was the first thing Y/N noticed as she slowly regained consciousness. Her skull felt like it was on fire, her temple throbbing and wrists aching. A heavy weight sat on her chest and made the simple act of breathing difficult. A faint but persistent beeping noise seemed amplified in her ringing ears, worsening her pounding headache while the heavy scent of blood in the air made her stomach churn.

What was going on?

Confusion persisted until her mind began to register the other noises in her surroundings.

A man’s voice she didn’t recognize.

The soft beep of a video camera starting to record.

Something about the agency.

Dazai’s name.

Her body broke into a cold sweat at the sudden mention of her boyfriend.

Realizing her eyelids were too heavy to even open, Y/N couldn’t help but wonder what the hell had happened. The last thing she remembered was kissing Dazai goodnight outside of her apartment, then quietly getting ready for bed once he had left. What could have possibly happened between then and now? Whose voice was echoing around her? Why did her body feel so heavy, and why were her thoughts so incoherent? If she could just get up-

Oh.

Oh.

Her wrists were bound behind her, the rest of her body anchored to the chair she was sat in by chains of steel. There was something large strapped to her abdomen emitting a beeping noise every few seconds.

Her heart nearly stopped beating in her chest as she slowly put together what was happening in her hazy mind.

“-Pay for your crimes by letting her die. This pretty little thing only has three hours left,” the gruff voice continued, sounding much clearer and much closer than before. Her panic increased tenfold as she realized the mystery man was directly behind her. Before she could fully prepare for it, a large hand suddenly grabbed a fistful of hair on her scalp and yanked her slumped head upwards. The pain forced her eyes open and she was greeted with a camera pointed at her, along with a room full of armed men. Her eyes slowly widened in terror and clarity as it all finally clicked in that moment, no matter how much she didn’t want to admit what was happening to her.

I’ve been kidnapped as a means to get back at the agency.

There’s a bomb strapped to me.

I have three hours to live.

The tears started then. Even though she could vaguely recognize that she was being recorded for the Agency’s viewing and it would only worry Dazai more if he saw her in so much distress, she couldn’t help her panic. No matter how strong she wanted to be for him, this was terrifying. Her life was suddenly on the line and she would die at the hands of these men if the agency couldn’t find her in time.

“Please,” she cried, squeezing her eyes shut and feeling pathetic as she let out a choked sob. Her voice cracked from disuse and she felt like she might hyperventilate. “Please, no. I don’t want to die.” The room filled with cruel laughter at her naive pleas, and she could only sink further into despair as the gravity of her situation became painfully evident. These were ruthless killers who were happy to see an innocent woman die for nothing more than the sake of revenge.

“Hear that, detectives? She’s begging for her life. What are you gonna do about it? The clock is ticking,” The man behind her sneered, grabbing her face in his calloused hand and squeezing it. She weakly attempted to yank her head away from his grasp and maintain her last shred of dignity. He was taunting them with her, the bastard.

Weaponizing their good nature and care for her. Trying to break them; trying to break her sweet Dazai.

Oh god- Dazai.

The more she thought about him, the more her tears flowed. Dazai, whose greatest fear was putting her in danger with his line of work. Dazai, who had lost so much more than a person should. Dazai, who loved and cared for her more than anyone she had ever known. The mere idea of him sitting at the agency headquarters, watching in horror while these unknown men teased him with her life, was too much to bear.

Through her cries of terror, Y/N could just barely overhear the man saying something else into the camera before ordering one of his subordinates to cut the footage. Dread filled the pit of her stomach as they turned their full attention on her and she realized she was truly alone with these psychopaths.

She had no way of knowing if the ADA was coming for her, or if they would be able to get to her in time. Hell, she didn’t even know if they would be able to diffuse the complicated bomb even if they did manage to reach her before it was set to detonate. She certainly didn’t want them to risk their own lives just to save her, even if the thought of dying in an explosion shook her to her core.

She felt her hope drain away with each new tick of the bomb, her body shaking with fear. Three hours was an awfully short time.

Please, Osamu.

My time is running out.

~

Dazai had never felt a rage quite like this before.

He knew that something was wrong the moment the agency had received a video from an untraceable source and Y/N hadn’t texted him about her day. That didn’t stop his heart from dropping clear to his stomach when he saw her on the monitor, chained up and bloody with a bomb on her chest.

No. Not her.

He avoided the nervous gazes of Atsushi and the rest of the agency members as he stared at her unconscious body on the screen, jaw clenched unimaginably tight and hands gripping the wood of the conference room table. The man standing in front of her was droning on about how Dazai had personally wronged his pathetic organization —something about putting a stop to their human trafficking network with the help of Kunikida— but he couldn’t bring himself to listen or even care.

He was attempting to keep his composure by focusing on the facts of the case. Namely, the extent of her injuries and her location.

Blood was dripping down the side of her face from her temple, some of it dried and caked in her hair. The bastards had likely hit her with some sort of blunt object to knock her out. His fury only grew at the thought of her being treated with such senseless violence. She still seemed dazed and confused as the man forced her awake to face the camera, a sure sign of a concussion or even drugging to further subdue her. She had a few more bruises and bloody cuts on her face, and he knew by the way the metal chains cut into her skin that they would cause serious irritation at the very least.

He couldn’t help but screw his eyes shut and let out a shuddering breath as her weak and desperate pleas reached his ears. The complete and utter terror in her voice as she begged her captors for mercy was nothing short of gut-wrenching to him. Even worse, the man was taunting Dazai with her pain. Smugly showing off her broken body like some sort of prize. She’s suffering because of you, a small voice in his head spat, making Dazai grit his teeth even more. No. Focus, you idiot. Focus on where they’re keeping her.

She looked to be trapped in some kind of metal room, potentially reinforced with anti-ability precautions to keep them from easily reaching her. The cell was dingy, dark, and silent, leading him to wonder if she was being kept somewhere underground. That would be a likely spot for these despicable cockroaches to hide. There were just over a dozen guards surrounding her, although they wouldn’t be an issue in the grand scheme of things; the ADA could certainly handle a few thugs with guns. What concerned him most was the bomb strapped to her chest.

There were plenty of geniuses among their ragtag team, but bombs were tricky. There could be dozens of triggers on it, or someone could detonate it remotely if anyone got too close to her. A single misstep or miscalculation could immediately cost Y/N’s life, and that was a risk Dazai certainly wasn’t willing to take.

He was furious at himself for letting this happen. He was so careful- always keeping tabs on her, steering her away from involvement in ADA antics, keeping an ear to the ground for trouble in the Yokohama underworld. He was constantly calculating and preparing for every outcome, always several steps ahead of his enemies with his dizzying plans. And yet, somehow, this measly organization he could hardly remember had managed to snatch his girlfriend out from under him with almost no trouble at all.

She was in mortal danger, and it was all his fault.

“Snap out of it, Dazai, I can hear your thoughts from all the way over here,” Kunikida piped up from across the room, his voice sympathetic but stern as he glared at his partner. “You need to keep your head on straight if we want to get her back.” He could tell just by reading Dazai’s expression how much inner turmoil the man was going through. How much he blamed himself for Y/N’s capture. But if they were going to rescue her before the three hours were up, there was no time for wallowing in self pity.

“Kunikida’s right,” Fukuzawa’s booming voice spoke, causing Dazai’s distant gaze to snap over to his boss in an instant. The fact that he was involved in the case at all revealed just how seriously the entire agency was taking her kidnapping. “Time is not on our side. We must be swift and rational if we are to have any hope of getting to Y/N and disabling the bomb in time.” Their words struck Dazai to his core. It was hard to remember that the other ADA members also cared deeply for his girlfriend, and they were willing to go so far as to put their lives at risk to help him get her back. Their unwavering support seemed to snap him out of his stupor and focus on the task at hand.

Get her back from those sorry motherfuckers.

“Right,” he nodded curtly, his expression suddenly devoid of all emotion as he turned to face the team with renewed focus and determination. “Ranpo-san, what’s the plan?”

The raven-haired detective, who had been quietly perched on the window sill and shadowed by the deep orange sunlight filtering into the room, suddenly jumped down from his seat and whipped out his pair of glasses in a flash. His trademark smirk spread across his face as he placed the glasses on the bridge of his nose, poised to activate his ability.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

~

Fifteen minutes.

That’s what the little timer read—from what she could tell, anyway. Y/N’s heart felt like it would burst out of her chest. She was drenched in sweat from the overwhelming fear taking over her body, despite her cell being practically freezing. The men had left her alone a while ago, but not before roughing her up for good measure. She now sported a throbbing bruise under her eye and a few new cuts on her face and neck, but she had blocked all of the pain out. All she could feel was pure panic as the countdown to her impending doom grew shorter and shorter.

She had no idea if Dazai and the rest of the ADA were even close to figuring out where she was, and her hope was beginning to run out. How could they possibly find her and disarm the bomb in a mere fifteen minutes? It didn’t seem at all possible, no matter how skilled they were. A single tear ran down her cheek as the reality set in. She was really going to die.

Trying to find some form of comfort as the seconds ticked away and she neared what she assumed were her last moments, Y/N squeezed her eyes shut and forced her mind to go somewhere else—anywhere else—to escape this hell.

Dazai’s soft laughter filled her ears.

It was a lazy Sunday morning- the couple’s favorite time to lay in bed for the whole day and forget their actual adult responsibilities. They were tangled up in fresh sheets, warm sunlight streaming through the windows as Dazai playfully teased her about her refusal to let him get up.

“Five more minutes!” Y/N grumbled sleepily, burying her head into the crook of Dazai’s neck and breathing in his fresh scent. He still smelled like the floral body wash he had used in the shower the night before; the same body wash she had bought him when he insisted he loved the way it smelled on her and needed some for himself. Catching traces of its scent on him always brought a smile to her face.

“You said that five minutes ago,” he chuckled, his voice still husky from sleep. His hand absentmindedly massaged her scalp as he held her tight to his chest. “You can hear my stomach practically begging for food. Are you trying to starve me, my love?” Y/N was seemingly unaffected by his dramatic ploy to escape her embrace. “Yes,” she answered simply, burrowing further into his t-shirt to hide her smile that would give away her crumbling resolve. Of course, there was no hiding anything from Dazai Osamu.

“I saw that!” He gasped, playfully poking at her face. “My Y/N does care about me, who would have thought!” She couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped her lips at her boyfriend’s theatrics. He was always blowing things out of proportion, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t love it.

Daring to peek up at him with heavy eyelids, her eyes met gentle brown staring back at her with nothing but warmth and fondness. The lovesick smile plastered across his face sent butterflies rushing through her stomach and she suddenly felt shy. His eyes were so pretty. “If you get up, I’ll be so lonely without you,” she pouted, hands snaking around his waist as she gave him her best puppy dog eyes. She knew she was playing dirty by pulling the pity card, but she also couldn’t stand the thought of being away from his comforting embrace for even a moment.

Dazai heaved a sigh, a mischievous twinkle in his eye as his hand moved to her face and gently brushed some of her hair away from her eyes. “Well how could I ever say no to that? I would rather starve than see my belladonna lonely and upset.” She rolled her eyes a let out an amused huff at his words, craning her neck so she was mere inches away from his face. “So you’ll stay?” She whispered, knowing that she’d already won the minute he hadn’t actually gotten up when he announced he needed breakfast.

Instead of responding right away, Dazai leaned down and planted a gentle kiss to her pouting mouth. She was just so irresistible. “Of course, darling,” he murmured against her lips, pulling her head back into his chest and smiling as he felt her snuggle closer. She truly was his everything. “Five more minutes with you is nothing short of pure bliss.”

Five minutes left.

Y/N thought she might pass out from the sheer terror that consumed her, threatening to pull her under completely. She would never see her friends again, including all of the agency members she had grown to call her family. She would die before saying goodbye to her loved ones- to Dazai. How would he react when he found her body, or what was left of it? How would he cope? The very thought forced a watery sob from her throat.

This is the end.

I’m going to die without seeing him one last time.

Suddenly, a loud bang sounded outside of the door to her prison and startled her out of her despair. It sounded like someone throwing their body against the heavy steel door. She froze, swallowing back her tears and preparing herself for the worst. Maybe the men were back to torture her one last time before setting off the bomb. As her mind came up with the worst possible scenarios, a familiar grunt reached her ears through the metal walls. It couldn’t be. After a beat, she heard the noise again. Then- “Y/N?”

She nearly stopped breathing at the sound of his angelic lilt. “…Samu?” She called out weakly, afraid to let herself be filled with hope in case it was some kind of cruel trick. “Y/N!” He yelled back, a mixture of desperation and relief in his voice as the banging noises continued. It was incredible how quickly hearing his voice had managed to relax her, even if she knew she was still in immediate danger. He always did have a calming effect on her. “Osamu, I don’t have much time left,” she gasped, desperately struggling against her restraints. Now that she knew he was here, she wanted nothing more than to be with him.

“I know, I know. I’m gonna get you out of here, baby,” he assured her through the cold metal door, giving the handle another frustrated jolt. Why couldn’t he have been blessed with a strength-related ability? “Those assholes had some ability users up their sleeve, so the others are busy trying to break through their defenses,” he explained in a rush, throwing his body into the door again despite the blooming pain in his shoulder. He wouldn’t have the help of Atsushi or Kenji like they had originally planned, and that worried him. “I promise, I won’t stop until I get into that room and you’re safe.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” a voice suddenly boomed over a hidden speaker, catching the attention of both Dazai and Y/N as their heads snapped upwards in near unison. Her blood ran cold as she recognized it as the voice of her captor. “Break into that room, and we’ll set off the bomb early. Didn’t you listen to us? This is your penance, Dazai,” he spoke, clear amusement in his tone. The bastard was watching them from somewhere else in the underground facility, enjoying their pain. Using it as entertainment.

Three minutes left.

Dazai grimaced outside of the door, hands balling into fists as a new fear and rage ignited inside of him. There was never going to be a way to reach her without the bomb going off. It was a cruel way to torture him; forcing him to either live with the guilt of leaving her and save his own life, or stay with her until the bitter end. It wasn’t a difficult choice to make.

As Y/N pieced together the new information, she quickly came to the same conclusion as her boyfriend and felt her eyes go wide. “Dazai, NO! Get away from here, now!” She screamed, fresh tears already burning in her eyes. She knew that he was selfless and loved her more than anything, but in that moment she wanted him to turn his back on her. To break her heart and leave her behind to save himself.

Ramming his now probably broken shoulder into the cold, unforgiving metal one last time, Dazai shook his head as he slowly sank to the floor. His hands were raw and bleeding from practically clawing at the wall for a weak point, but he didn’t care. Nothing else mattered anymore but staying with her. “I won’t leave you,” he said simply, leaning his head against the wall. The agony of knowing that she was in that room, alone and afraid, minutes away from her death, was crushing. But if he could offer her even the smallest comfort before that timer hit zero, he would do it in a heartbeat.

Meanwhile, Y/N was on the verge of a panic attack. Tears streamed down her face and she struggled to breathe, completely overwhelmed by what was happening. To have to accept that she really was about to die a horrible and graphic death in a few minutes was terrifying, but to know that Dazai was right outside the door and would also die if he stayed; that was too much. She knew how stubborn he was, but she had to try to make him leave anyway. Anything to get him to save himself.

“Please,” she cried desperately, consumed with grief as sobs wracked through her body. “You can’t stay, Dazai, you have to GO!” Hearing her in so much pain was like a thousand knives to the heart, but despite everything, Dazai couldn’t help the small smile that made its way onto his face. She really didn’t get it. “Go where, huh? There’s nowhere in this world I would go without you,” he spoke softly, shutting his eyes and letting out a small sigh. He seemed strangely content.

She continued to sob, choking on her breaths as the timer reached one minute. He was so stupid and selfless and wonderful- she couldn’t let him die. “Please…you can’t do this to me, you have to leave…you can’t stay,” she whimpered almost incoherently, barely able to yell anymore. Her strength was running out, her body exhausted from all of the mental turmoil. Still, she continued to strain against the chains wrapped tightly around her as if she could break them by sheer will. “Don’t be scared, Y/N,” he called to her, the smile still on his face. “I’m right here with you and I’m not leaving you. It’s gonna be okay.” Through the walls he could hear her voice break as she wailed in agony at his words, the sound blood-curdling.

Thirty seconds.

Dazai thought it ironic that this was the way he was going out; a tragic double suicide with his lover. It was almost funny. Almost. “I love you, darling. My sweet belladonna. Not even death can keep us apart,” he reassured her, opening his eyes and staring at the wall as if he could look straight through the metal and meet her gaze. His heart squeezed in his chest as she let out another horrible, strangled sob. “There- isn’t much time- left,” she gasped in between breaths, her whole body trembling. Why couldn’t he leave her? Why couldn’t he save himself? He was too important to the ADA, to the world, to die. The guilt was eating her alive.

Ten seconds.

“I love you, Y/N,” he repeated, and he was never more sure of his words. She let out one last piercing, guttural scream, pulling at the chains so hard her skin started to bleed. She thought she might faint from the agonizing anticipation as the clock counted down her last moments of life; their last moments. “I’m so sorry,” she sobbed, squeezing her eyes shut in defeat. He shook his head once again. She had nothing to be sorry for. “It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered one final time, placing his bloody hand against the door. Offering his comfort in their last seconds alive.

Three.

Two.

One.

Silence. A flash of white hot light. A horrible booming noise. Then, nothing.

~

The rest of the ADA halted in their battle at the sound of the explosion, staring at one another in horror. Smoke billowed out from one of the dingy tunnels, the familiar scent of flames filling the air. There was no way they had failed…right? The couldn’t have lost Y/N and Dazai; not when they had worked so hard to get out of the situation with everyone unharmed.

The sound of cackling laughter echoed through the underground base mere moments after the explosion, drawing their attention to a man emerging from the shadows. They immediately recognized him as the man from the video- the organization’s leader who had personally tormented Y/N.

“The great Dazai Osamu is dead,” he shrieked, his crazed laughter forcing him to double over. The rest of the organization’s thugs began to jeer and laugh along with him, celebrating their victory over the ADA’s elusive genius. Atsushi felt tears welling in his eyes, not just for the tragic and sudden loss of his brilliant mentor whom he deeply cared for, but for Y/N as well. Those pieces of shit didn’t even care that they had killed her too; to them she was just a means to an end. The sweet woman who had shown him nothing but kindness when he joined the ADA and brought so much joy into their lives…dead.

To his left, Kunikida was also fighting back angry tears, refusing to accept that his frustrating but brilliant partner had truly been killed by these incompetent fools. Kyoka and Kenji’s eyes were blown wide in shock while Tanizaki panted heavily, his mouth gaping. It seemed that none of them could actually comprehend that the pair were truly dead and gone.

“You detectives are nothing but a bunch of sentimental fools!” The man cackled, face red and eyes bulging. He looked insane. “I can’t believe your genius was lured and killed by such an easy trap. All it took was kidnapping that little bitch and blowing her up!” All of the ADA members tensed, looking visibly appalled by his cruel, demeaning words. Not only was this man completely unhinged, but he was outright mocking an innocent woman’s death.

It was sickening.

Just as the sinking feeling of dread began to settle in the pit of Atsushi’s stomach, a distant but familiar voice called out from the smoke to interrupt their little celebration. “Ah, you underestimate me…” the voice drawled, jerking everyone’s attention to the smoking tunnel. All of the color drained from the leader’s face as he watched three silhouettes slowly emerge from the haze. “No…that’s impossible!” He screeched, all confidence gone and white as a ghost as he pointed at the trio with a shaking finger. “I watched you die! I-I saw it with my own eyes!”

Dazai, Y/N, and Dr. Yosano appeared at the entrance of the tunnel as the smoke cleared, Y/N leaned against Dazai for support while Yosano brandished her weapon. Y/N looked slightly stunned and shaken up, but the two survivors otherwise seemed completely unharmed, no trace of any injuries on their bodies.

“You did,” Dazai flashed his signature shit-eating grin, eyes flicking over to their team’s resident doctor. “Thankfully we had a backup plan in case you tried anything dirty, like you did.”

Ranpo had luckily had the foresight to bring in Yosano from a different entry point and position her near the cell that Y/N was being held in once they figured out her location, in the event that things went wrong and the bomb went off. That way she was there to immediately patch them up with her ability once it detonated, making it so that the harm was only temporary. There had never been any real threat of death; as long as Yosano worked fast enough, that is.

“You were a fool to play with this woman’s life to get back at an enemy,” Yosano spat, pointing her cleaver at the now trembling man before her. “Those who do not properly respect life will receive the ultimate punishment!” The rest of the thugs glanced around uneasily, sensing a shift in the power dynamic of the fight. Suddenly their main target was alive and well, and the rest of the agency seemed even more bloodthirsty than before.

“I-Impossible! No!” He cried, slowly backing towards another tunnel. The ADA members adjusted their stances and stared him down with what could only be described as murderous glints in their eyes, making it clear that he wouldn’t be getting away without a gruesome fight. He gulped. “Take this as a lesson!” Dazai announced cheerfully, still smiling but now with a terrifyingly cold and emotionless look in his eyes.

“There are grave consequences for those who hurt the people I love. And you’ve stupidly chosen to hurt the person I love most.”

It was a blur after that, all hell breaking loose. Dazai quickly ordered Tanizaki to cloak Y/N with his ability and get her safely to the surface as fighting broke out all around them. She wanted to protest, but the look in his eyes told her that he just wanted to get her out of harm’s way for the time being and that’d he be back at her side as soon as he was done dealing with the room of pitiful men. She certainly didn’t want to stick around and see what he and the rest of the ADA had in store for them. He pressed one last comforting kiss to her forehead before sending her off to escape with the ginger detective, his fiercely protective gaze never once leaving her as she fled the scene.

Covering the two of them with Light Snow, Tanizaki grabbed Y/N by the wrist and rushed her out of the disgusting underground hideout, pulling her away from the violent fight that had broken out. He knew that it would only be a few minutes until the team was done putting those miserable scumbags in their place.

They eventually reached the entrance of the base after a few tense minutes of running through winding tunnels, finding Ranpo and a trusted driver from the agency waiting in a running car. Tanizaki carefully opened the backseat door for her and made sure she was safely in the car before stepping back, flashing a comforting smile. “I’m so happy to see that you’re safe, Y/N. Ranpo will take care of the rest and make sure you get back to the agency safely,” he quickly explained, nodding at the driver before closing the car door and giving her a small wave.

Although she was still shellshocked, she managed a small wave in return and and even smaller smile. “Thank you,” she mouthed as the car pulled away, grateful for his help in getting her out of that hellhole. She was happy to leave the horrible place behind.

“Good to see you, Y/N,” Ranpo greeted from the seat next to her, drawing her attention away from the now small spec that was Tanizaki. Seeing her old friend sitting next to her filled her with so much relief she could hardly breathe. She opened her mouth to thank him for everything, knowing that the elaborate rescue plan was his doing, but the words caught in her throat. Everything had happened so fast that she barely had any time to process it. The bomb going off, practically dying, being saved by Yosano, briefly reuniting with Dazai, escaping the underground labyrinth. She was so overwhelmed with emotion as she realized she was actually alive and safe. Dazai was alive and safe.

We survived…

but we almost didn’t.

She promptly bent over and threw up onto the floor of the car.

Ranpo shrank into the corner of his seat, looking wildly uncomfortable but biting back his usual snarky and tone-deaf remarks. She had been through a lot, and her body had to expel all of those suffocating emotions somehow. “I had a feeling you would do that,” he grimaced, but he nonetheless leaned over and gently pat her back in a small act of comfort. Coughing on bile, Y/N felt hot tears burning the back of her eyes at the detective’s kind gesture. Everyone at the agency had shown up to help her in one way or another, and it was staggering to see just how much they cared.

Even in this very vulnerable moment, Ranpo was offering his genuine support, something that was incredibly rare for him. She would have to buy him a big care package of his favorite snacks later to show her gratitude for all he had done for her.

Eventually the car arrived at the agency, the normally bustling streets of Yokohama quiet and deserted in the late hour. Y/N apologized profusely to the driver for the small mess in the car, thoroughly embarrassed even though she hadn’t been able to help it. He simply dismissed it with a wave of his hand and an understanding smile. “No problem whatsoever, miss. You just take it easy.”

With that, Ranpo carefully guided her into the safety of the agency, leading her upstairs with one arm draped over her shoulder. When the pair finally reached the office, Y/N practically collapsed into one of the couches in the lounge area, letting out a sigh and massaging her temples to try and soothe her pounding head. Being dehydrated and malnourished for nearly 24 hours wasn’t exactly helping her stress-induced headache that had quickly developed in the car ride over.

Once again, as if reading her mind, Ranpo disappeared for a moment before returning with a water bottle, a few snacks, medicine, and a blanket in his arms, placing them on the coffee table in front of her. It was like he knew everything she needed- and he probably did. “Rest up and take care of yourself,” he instructed, his tone leaving no room for debate. “I’m sure Dazai will be here soon to take you home, but in the meantime try to relax and get some food and water in you. You’ve had a long day.” She smiled gratefully, albeit a little tiredly, at the gesture. Yet another rare display of his care.

“Thank you, for everything,” she whispered, trying to convey just how sincerely she meant those words. She wouldn’t soon forget his help. He flashed her a small, lopsided grin before waving her off dramatically. “It was nothing for the world’s greatest detective!” He declared, pointing a finger into the air before turning on his heels and making his way back to his desk, munching on a snack of his own. Just like that, Y/N was alone.

She quietly opened one of the snacks Ranpo had provided her, washing down some pain-relief pills with the water after she’d eaten a few bites. When her nauseous stomach began to protest the food, she forced herself to stop. Although she was still incredibly hungry, she certainly didn’t want to end up with another mess to clean up. Shuddering at the thought, she wrapped herself up with the plush blanket and tried to calm her racing heart. Her mind was still reeling from everything. The constant thoughts of the traumatic events she had just undergone only made her headache and nausea worse by the minute, and her brain felt like it might explode.

She was exhausted.

If she could just clear her mind and close her eyes for a moment…

~

Without even realizing she had dozed off on the couch, she awoke some time later to the feeling of a slender hand cupping her cheek, stroking her jaw with delicate precision. She didn’t even have to open her eyes to know it was Dazai. “Wake up, my love,” his hushed voice cooed, immediately pulling her from her slumber. Slowly blinking her eyes open, she was met with his comforting smile, but his eyes were unimaginably sad. Her heart ached.

“Ready to go home?”

Nodding sleepily, Y/N slowly picked herself up from the couch, shrugging the blanket off her shoulders and neatly folding it up before placing it back on the coffee table. After gathering her bearings, she realized that some of the other agency members had also returned to the office, likely to fill out paperwork before heading home for the night. She felt a pang of guilt shoot through her as she realized they would have to do extra work because of her. If you hadn’t gone and gotten yourself kidnapped, they would all be home sleeping right now.

A dreadful thought suddenly crossed her mind. Would she have to fill out paperwork and recount what had happened to her? It seemed likely, as they kept track of nearly every incident like this. The very idea made another wave of nausea roll through her.

As if sensing her worry, Kunikida rounded the corner with a stack of papers in-hand, taking in her dead-tired appearance with a single glance. “Just so you know, we will need a statement on what happened eventually, Y/N, but I don’t want you to even think about it until you’re recovered and ready to talk,” he instructed, concern and sympathy evident in his expression despite his no-nonsense tone. He was truly glad to see her safe and back under the protection of the agency. Y/N nodded, relieved that she wouldn’t have to recount the traumatic events until she was ready. At the moment she couldn’t even imagine a time when she would ever feel ready.

Turning his attention to Dazai, the sympathetic look vanished from Kunikida’s face and morphed into one of general annoyance. “Don’t think that you’re getting out of doing the paperwork just because you almost died,” he barked, jabbing an accusing finger at his partner’s chest. “It’s no excuse to be lazy.”

Dazai placed a hand to his heart and looked aghast, as if the very insinuation of him trying to avoid paperwork was ridiculous. “Me? Getting out of paperwork? Really, Kunikida-kun, what do you take me for?” He gasped, earning a growl and a sharp smack to the head with a roll of papers.

Their antics miraculously drew out a soft chuckle from Y/N’s lips, but it was half-hearted at best. As enjoyable as Dazai and Kunikida’s banter was, her eyes still drooped with fatigue and her anxious mind longed to rest in the comfort of her own home. She just wanted this horrible day to be over with. Gaze dropping to Y/N’s face at the sound of her reserved amusement, Dazai quickly noted the weight of her exhaustion and took it as their cue to leave.

“I think it’s time for us to get home,” he announced, glancing back up at Kunikida and sharing a knowing look with him. The blond held his stare for a moment before sighing, giving a small nod before politely bidding the two a good night and moving on to pester Ranpo about doing his work.

Placing a hand on the small of her back, Dazai carefully led Y/N out of the agency and into the streets of Yokohama below, glancing at her every few minutes to make sure she was doing ok. She was quiet during the walk home, her expression blank and her eyelids heavy. He found himself wishing he could figure out what she was thinking. Normally he could read her like a book, always knowing exactly how she was feeling or what was troubling her. Now she just seemed numb. A dark part of his mind feared that she was distancing herself from him because their relationship had nearly gotten her killed.

Would she even want to be with him anymore? Would she leave him to heal the trauma he had caused her? He shuddered at the thought.

Eventually arriving at their destination, Y/N quickly realized that Dazai had led her back to his apartment instead of her own. That’s right. Mine was broken into, and no one’s been around to clean up the mess that was probably left behind. She was grateful for his thoughtfulness. There was no way she would’ve been able to keep her composure if she had walked into her home and seen the evidence of her capture.

Walking into the entryway after Dazai had unlocked the door, Y/N immediately wanted to cry as the warm, familiar scent of his apartment hit her. It just smelled like him, something she thought she’d lost mere hours ago. The familiarity of the space nearly brought tears to her eyes.

It was overwhelming, to say the least.

Noticing her distant, watery gaze, Dazai quickly swooped in to distract her, helping her slip out of her shoes and guiding her to the bedroom to change out of her clothes. Although Yosano had done away with all of the physical injuries on her body, she still felt dirty, the scent of mold and metal clinging to her shirt. It drew her back to that room and the horrible, agonizingly slow ticking of the bomb. The memories lingered in the back of her mind as she discarded her old clothes, slipping into a comfortable t-shirt and a soft pair of shorts that she kept in Dazai’s drawer for the nights when she slept over.

“Better?” Dazai questioned softly when she had finished changing, eyes searching hers almost frantically for any sign of discomfort. He wanted to help her in any way possible, but for once in his life, he didn’t know what to do. The day had taken a toll on him as well and he was struggling to maintain his calm facade. Staring deep into his eyes, she gave the slightest of nods and opened her mouth to reassure him, to tell him that she was ok now. She was home, she was safe thanks to him, she was with him- everything had turned out just fine. But for the second time that night, the words refused to come out.

Instead, she just stared in silence before collapsing into a sudden fit of sobs, knees buckling and sending her falling to the hardwood below. Panicked, Dazai scrambled to meet her at the floor, strong arms holding her steady while she attempted to muffle her pained cries with the palm of her hand. Her sudden tears had him terrified that he had done something wrong. “Hey, hey, what’s the matter, angel? Please, let me help-“ he couldn’t even finish his sentence before she threw herself into his arms, holding him tighter than she had ever held anyone.

Her desperation to feel him and be close to him now was due to the fact that their reunion in the underground base had been so short lived. Y/N was in too much shock, not understanding how she had gone from dying a gruesome death to perfectly fine in only a matter of seconds. She could barely even register Dazai’s arms wrapped around her in a bone crushing hug or the sweet encouragements he was whispering in her ear.

Dazai was used to Yosano’s incredible ability. Having been saved by it countless times, being revived by the dark-haired doctor was practically second nature to him. But Y/N was still reeling from the excruciating pain she had experienced moments ago that had just vanished. It was like it had tattooed itself under her skin, a painful memory of her near-death.

The shock of being revived clouded her mind as Dazai had clutched her body close, kissing her forehead and squeezing her tight. She couldn’t even enjoy the pure relief that normally would have filled her when she pieced together that she was alive and safe in her loving boyfriend’s arms. Before she could comprehend what was going on, he had already helped her off the ground and had begun to walk her down the hallway with Yosano, headed towards the main fight.

Now, on the floor of Dazai’s dark bedroom, her mind had finally registered exactly what had transpired mere hours ago. He sacrificed himself just so I wouldn’t be alone in my last moments. He stayed with me until the very end, and he was the first thing I saw after I was healed by Yosano. He means more to me than anyone ever has- and I almost got him killed.

Shushing her cries of despair, Dazai cradled her head to his chest, feeling tears building in his own eyes. He just wanted to take all of her pain away. “Shhh…it’s alright, darling, you’re safe,” he whispered into her ear, feeling her grip around him tighten even more. She was gasping for breath, practically hyperventilating. It seemed her distress was never ending. “Please, my love…please tell me what’s wrong…I want to help you,” he muttered, stroking her hair and pressing gentle kisses into the crown of her head. Her muffled cries only grew louder and he only felt more helpless.

Eventually, after a few minutes of his hushed reassurances and tight, comforting hold, she managed to catch her breath enough to speak. When she pulled away from his chest and finally looked up at him, her eyes held a sorrow so deep that it broke Dazai’s heart all over again. “I- I’m so sorry,” she rasped, sounding completely broken. “You almost died because of me. I hurt you.” Another watery sob escaped her throat before she hung her head and pressed a hand to her lips yet again to stifle her pained cries.

Her words left him in utter shock. He couldn’t imagine how she could possibly think any of this was on her. Not when the truth was the complete opposite. It was time for him to be honest about his feelings, no matter how terrifying it was. “Hey…will you look at me?” He questioned gently, tilting her chin upwards with his finger to guide her gaze back to his. The smallest of smiles graced his lips when she finally complied, glassy eyes locking on his own. “There you are. It hurts that you blame yourself at all, darling. Especially when it’s me you have to blame for all of this.” When her distraught expression morphed into one of confusion, his hands made their way to her own, squeezing them tight. She absentmindedly stroked her thumb along his wrist in a comforting gesture, urging him to explain.

“…I knew Yosano would be there the whole time we were trying to rescue you. I knew she was waiting for us in case things went wrong, and that she would heal us if the bomb went off,” he began, staring intently into her eyes as he spoke. “But listening to you in there, scared and alone, waiting for it to detonate, was horrible. It was the worst possible scenario that we tried so hard to avoid. And knowing that you would have to endure the god awful pain of the explosion even for a moment, and I could do nothing about it, made me sick. It was just another cruel reminder that I always end up hurting the people I care for.”

His sincere confession had stunned Y/N. Though she and her boyfriend were incredibly close, Dazai was a fairly private person who didn’t often air his deep insecurities. The fact that he was being so vulnerable in this moment told her just how genuine his words were, and it hurt like hell to hear. Before she could say anything to rebut his confession, he continued. “I just feel like…a curse to the people I love most. They’ll always be hurt or worse because of me. And it’s so hard to live with myself because of that.”

Eyes widening, Y/N shook her head in disbelief. She couldn’t even imagine where his horrible self-deprecating talk was coming from. “How could you even say that? You saved me. I’m only here and alive because of you and the agency.” He let out a soft, humorless chuckle at her words, his gaze distant. “I failed you, my love. You were almost killed because of me.” He practically spat the word out, like he was disgusted with himself. His grip on her hands tightened.

“The whole reason those men took you in the first place was to get revenge on me. To force me to choose to live with the guilt of letting you die, or die alongside you. The fact that you had to be wrapped up in all that, traumatized and hurt and almost killed because of my enemies, my line of work…” he trailed off, his voice nearly breaking as his eyes begged her to understand. “No matter how careful I was and how much I tried to protect you, it meant nothing in the end.”

The guilt inside of him was all-consuming. Yes, they had saved her. Yes, they had made sure that the organization would never lay a finger on her or anyone else ever again. But what if something had gone wrong? What if they had been outsmarted, and Yosano hadn’t been waiting in the wings to heal them after the bomb went off? Y/N had been tortured, terrified, in pain because of him. To know that it was his fault that she had been scarred so deeply was his own personal hell.

In a way, the assholes who kidnapped her had won. It was Dazai’s penance, as their leader had called it- still living with the crushing guilt even after he had saved her. Hating himself over and over again for putting her in that position in the first place. Remembering her in the video, bruised and bloody and scared for her life. Constantly reliving her desperate cries for him to leave her in those final moments while he was utterly helpless to save her.

It was torture.

He just felt so stupid for being outsmarted by the lowly organization and allowing his precious lover to get hurt in the process.

“Dazai,” Y/N spoke sharply, effectively snapping him out of his spiral. She rarely called him Dazai unless she was being serious, and she couldn’t stand hearing him blame himself for one more second. “I won’t lie to you and say that today wasn’t one of the worst days of my life. The fear I felt, knowing I’d been taken from my home, having to count down the minutes to my death…” she paused, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head as if willing away the unpleasant memories. He patiently waited for her to come back to herself, giving her hands a comforting squeeze.

“…It’ll take me a long time to get over that,” she finally admitted after a moment. “But the worst part of it wasn’t being kidnapped, or hurt by those men, or waiting for the inevitable explosion. It was thinking that I was going to lose you too. All I could focus on in those last minutes was you behind that door, too stubborn to leave me. All I could think about was how much I loved you, and how much I wanted you to be selfish for once and save yourself.”

She watched as he blinked back tears, a mystified expression in his face. As if the very thought of someone worrying about him and his life was completely foreign. Wanting to make herself absolutely clear, she kept going, no matter how much it hurt to see him struggling to understand her love for him. “I could never blame you for what happened. Those men did this to us- they caused all this pain and hurt. Not you.”

Her words left him dumbfounded, to say the least. They managed to remind him of why he loved her as fiercely as he did- she was the good in his life. Even after such a traumatic experience, she was incapable of blaming him for what had happened. Her love and compassion for him despite the darkness he brought into their lives was eye opening, forcing him to realize that no matter how much he thought it untrue, he was capable of being loved.

And how lucky he was to be loved by her.

Unable to articulate his complicated feelings any other way, Dazai cupped her face and surged forward, pressing his lips into her own and kissing her with such genuine fervor that it left Y/N breathless. Although she was momentarily shocked by his sudden show of affection, it quickly wore off as she melted into him. This was the first time they had truly kissed since reuniting, and they were each aching to communicate just how much they loved one another. How close they were to losing their other half; the person that completely them.

Her hands raked through his brown curls almost erratically, desperate to compensate for those long, torturous hours spent away from him. He seemed equally if not more hungry for her touch, like he was trying to prove to himself that she was really there with him after their near death experience. His slender fingers glided across her body and gripped her closer to him, nearly feral in his pursuit to feel every inch of her. She tugged at the hair near the base of his head and elicited a low, rumbling moan in return.

“My beautiful girl,” he rasped as he briefly pulled away, eyes roaming over her body with a look of complete infatuation. She was the most perfect thing he’d ever seen—and he’d almost lost her. His arm snaked around her waist to tug her impossibly closer, practically pulling her into his lap. She didn’t mind.

He continued to plant kisses all over her face, her hair, her jaw- anywhere he could reach. His lips ghosted over every inch of skin that had previously been covered in blood or bruises, almost as though he had memorized the exact locations of all her injuries just from watching the video hours ago. Knowing Dazai, he probably had committed all of her injuries to memory.

In between kisses, he muttered gentle praises and affections into her ear, all of which made her face flush a deep red. She would never tire of the way his whispered adorations made her heart race and the feeling of his soft lips against her skin. “My darling. My sweet belladonna. You’re everything to me. Everything,” he breathed, kissing the tip of her nose. “Words cannot even describe how much you mean to me. I’m nothing without you.”

Y/N rolled her head back as his lips trailed up her neck and neared her jawline, sucking in a sharp breath when his hands moved into her hair and his grip tightened. His kisses were becoming more passionate, more anxious to prove to her how grateful he was that she was finally back in his arms. That he would never let anyone lay a hand on her again. She allowed his love the wash over her, happily reciprocating when his lips finally captured her own once again.

He tasted like salty tears and home.

Eventually breaking away from one another to catch their breath, Y/N rested her forehead against Dazai’s and let out a shaky sigh, finally letting herself feel safe after what had felt like an eternity of fear and unease. Just being in his presence was enough to help alleviate some of crushing panic she had felt just hours ago.

“Thank you for being with me. For always protecting me, even when you think you’re not. And for never leaving me behind,” she whispered, glancing up into his big brown eyes that were mere inches away from her own. Although the thought of him almost dying with her in the explosion filled her entire being with dread, his determination to stay with her and offer her comfort until the very end meant more to her than she could explain.

“I wouldn’t dream of abandoning you. I’ll spend every day of the rest of my life protecting you and making sure something like this never happens again,” he assured her with nothing but sincerity in his soothing voice, taking her hands and gently brushing his lips over her knuckles. Her eyes fluttered closed at the gesture. “You are the most wonderful thing in my life. My reason for living at all. It’s hard to wrap my head around what I’ve possibly done to deserve you, but I promise I’ll do everything within my power to cherish you and keep you safe as long as I live.”

Y/N felt herself genuinely smiling for the first time in hours at her lover’s words. She was filled with such utter relief to be back in the safety of his arms. To be home, alive, and in love despite it all. Her heart felt like it would burst from all the love it held for Dazai Osamu.

“I love you,” she breathed, eyes meeting gentle brown once again. She was desperate for him to understand just how much she meant those words. To convey how safe he made her feel, and how much his presence comforted her. That no matter the danger she was in, she knew he would always be there for her.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he replied effortlessly, a part of him melting at the sight of her smile. He would burn the world just to keep that beautiful expression on her face. He made a silent vow to himself in that moment— no matter what it took, he would never lose her again.

The two eventually ended up in Dazai’s bed, practically clinging to one another as they shifted into a comfortable position. There would be no such thing as personal space that night. Y/N, who had been worried that the horrors she had faced would keep her exhausted body awake through the night, was pleasantly surprised to find that she was calm and content in Dazai’s embrace, already dozing off. He chuckled softly as her whole body relaxed against him.

“Sleep tight, my love. I’ve got you,” he mumbled into her hair, his warm breath fanning across her neck. She shivered and nuzzled herself further into his embrace, a soft smile on her face. No harm would come to her so long as she was in his arms.

Though they were both still riddled with guilt and turbulent emotions from the terrible night, they silently agreed to let go of their baggage for the time being and just appreciate one another, falling asleep in each other’s embrace.

Safe and home at last.

………………………………………………………………………………….

☆ note: yeahhhh dazai fic! i literally haven’t written in ages but i’ve been knee-deep in my bungo stray dogs era and dazai is taking up most of my brain capacity at the moment. this feels both rushed and wayyyy too long at the same time lol, i just had that feral writing energy and had to get it off my chest as soon as possible. it might be a mess but i’m exhausted and i’ve reread it too many times to catch all my mistakes lmaooo whatever. thanks so much for reading :)

[updownlately]

if you’re gonna waste my time (let’s waste it right)

| leah williamson x reader | hurt/comfort | 3.3k | disclaimer: mentions of anxiety, self loathing, negative thoughts, and depression -this delves into some slightly heavy topics so please read at your own discretion! | a/n: got this ask a while back and an idea struck to me while driving! first fic in a while that i've written in one sitting so let's see how this goes! honestly started off really strong but then idk where we went. anyways, not proofread as usual, but happy reading! take care amigos! and just know that each of you are loved, cared for, and cherished by those around you, even if you don't know it! 🫶

~~~

Fight, flight, or freeze.

They say that every human has these three survival instincts built in.

Instincts meant to protect, to escape, but most importantly, to survive. 

Responses meant to make sure that one would make it out of harm’s way, preferably unscathed. 

Fight, the mechanism that evoked adrenaline. That helped you battle your way through the toughest of encounters. 

That did its best to make sure you were well equipped to tackle any scuffle, minor or major, to the best of your ability.

Flight, the mechanism that helped you run- escape before you couldn’t anymore. 

The one that ensured that you got out before you could be attacked- before you could be hurt.

And then of course, freeze. 

Rooted to your spot, immobile as harm directed itself towards you, one only praying that you could be so still that harm skipped right past you, practically avoiding you as you let it pass. 

Freeze, that left you with a pounding heart, blood rushing in your ears.

Freeze that meant you couldn’t move, body rigid, feet planted, mind stopped in time.

Freeze that kept you stuck. stuck in an endless loop of agony, of shaky breaths, of paralyzing fear.

Freeze, considered the weakest of the three. 

So as you stood there, eyes wide, muscles tense, body frozen, you cursed your mind and body with all that you could, wondering why of the three instincts, freeze was what you had done in order to try and survive.

~~~

There’s something terrifying about the voices that ring in your head.

How they so scarily sound similar to the people in your life, past and present.

Voices reminding you how you aren’t good enough. How you’ve let them down. How maybe if you weren’t there, the world would be okay. That it would move on without a hitch, without a second thought, because when it came to it, at the end of the day, maybe, just maybe, you didn’t really matter anyways.

Voices that sounded like your mother, reminding you of dark nights of you hidden in your room, the harsh words ringing in the four walls of your bedroom, what was supposed to be your safe haven, now tainted with feelings of regret, of disappointment, of outright disgust.

It’d be better if you didn’t exist.

Voices that sounded like your father, angry yells late into the night, enough smashed dishes that left your hands littered with scars that’d never cease to remind you, enough nights spent under your covers silently wiping tears as you prayed that you were quiet enough.

What a waste of air.

Voices that sounded like past coaches and management that knocked you back with each word spoken, each push forward sending you feet yards back, support that felt like hindrance more than anything.

You’d be lucky if you got to play past the little leagues. It’d be a miracle that’s for sure.

Voices that sounded like fans- people that were meant to support you- but you couldn’t force them to. Hundreds if not thousands of comments left, each asking for you to be traded. Hell, they’d take a sack of potatoes if nothing else. 

I can’t believe that we wasted our money on this. Can’t we just, I don’t know, get rid of her? She’s the reason we suck. Maybe if she was half a decent player we’d actually be somewhere in the league.

Comments that repeated your worth. Ingrained it into your mind. Over and over and over again. 

You weren’t good enough.

Sentences that etched themselves into the forefront of your thoughts, always ready to haunt you at the slightest notice. 

You weren’t good enough.

Not now, not ever. 

Not for your own mother or father, never mind your siblings. 

Not for your teammates, nor the fans.

It was a miracle you were even playing professionally in the first place.

God if they took one good look at you maybe they realized how poorly they fucked up by signing you. 

You weren’t a good footballer, barely even a decent one. How you managed to play for this long was a miracle.

They’d notice soon enough though. They had to. They always did.

They’d notice soon enough that you weren’t good enough.

And then?

Then you’d be left with nothing, as you always were.

~~~

You didn’t know when you were led inside to the locker rooms- when that absolutely terrifying moment of being in front of the opposing team’s stands had gone from you taking a corner to being absolutely pelted by random junk. 

From empty bottles (plastic thankfully), to empty food containers, balled-up programs, signs, merch, all being hurled your way, never mind the onslaught of assaults- the stands only repeating everything your mind ever told you, every, single, day. 

You didn’t hear when the ref blew their whistle, nor when the rest of the girls dressed in red crowded you, some chastising the fans along with the away team, others wrapping around you protectively, quickly leading you towards the benches. 

You weren’t there as you were subbed off, your mind still frozen, much like the rest of your body. 

All you knew right now was that you could smell the familiar scent of your girlfriend’s perfume as the heel of your palms pressed harshly into your eyes in an attempt to cease the uproar in your head. 

Breaths getting heavy, you tried your best to calm yourself down.

You weren’t a stranger to panic attacks, and even in your hazed state, you could very well recognize the oncoming situation.

Bringing your arms to wrap around your own stomach in a futile attempt to bring yourself some sort of comfort, you felt your breathing pick up as the sharp lights of the room seemed to get darker. 

Room spinning, the voices in your head louder, you could only bring your knees up to your head, body now practically in fetal position as you rode out the attack.

Even with the hundreds you’d had by now, you hadn’t been able to come up with an effective method to deal with them. 

So you sat there, huddled into a ball, body shaking, mind louder than ever as Leah stood above and watched helplessly.

The blonde had been there in the stands to watch you get abused, immediately making her way down to the pitch because ACL and league rules be damned, that was her girlfriend for fuck’s sake. 

She stood by the sidelines, ready to receive you as the obvious substitution occurred, an arm coming to wrap around you as she led your ghost of a body to the locker rooms.

She watched as you mindlessly sat in front of your locker, not a single word uttered from you, not a single response to the quiet comforting words the blonde had whispered to you gently in an attempt to rouse you from your clearly distressed state. 

She itched to reach out and touch you as she saw you slowly curl into a ball, you getting ever so smaller as she could only helplessly watch, you unknowingly  flinching the second she touched your shoulders in an attempt to comfort you.

It was only when your heavy breathing died down every so slightly, nearly fifteen minutes later if the blonde’s perception was right, that she tried again, slowly coming to sit beside you as she gauged your reaction. 

Seeing your shaking start to slow as well, she slowly wrapped an arm around your shoulder, her own body tense as she watched you stiffen up before you relaxed slightly, letting her pull you into her side as her other hand came to hold your left one.

And long after you had buried yourself into her side, body defeated with the rollercoaster of emotions you’d just experienced, too tired to think of any of the consequences of your actions, you let Leah led you- helping your pull on a hoodie and your jacket and change out of your cleats as she gathered the rest of your gear.

Helpless except able to nod in agreement as the blonde suggested you leave early from the game, you followed her quietly, not a word said from you, as she led you out of the ground and to her car, where you fell asleep within seconds.

It was only when the car pulled up to her house, a place you’d been to many times, your relationship long past new to the both of you, did you rouse, mind still not present and following the blonde.

Leah was good. You trusted Leah. Leah was safe.

The words repeating in your head, you believing they were true like all the other words that crossed your mind, you let yourself sleepily be led up the stairs and up to the ensuite. 

Standing there awkwardly as you slowly came to the situation, the lights in the washroom waking you up, your shoulders sunk as the embarrassment from earlier set in. 

God you were an embarrassment. First a panic attack in front of the English skipper, and now this- you stood helplessly in her bathroom like you were broken, waiting to be fixed.

You watched in dread as the blonde flitted around the joint closet, quickly gathering a change of clothes for you before she stacked them neatly on the countertop, handing you a towel and starting the shower, not meeting your eyes.

What you didn’t know was that she didn’t want to scare you off, intimidate you as her heart ached at the shameful look in your eyes.

“Take a warm shower, yeah? We’ll get you some food after, and then how about a nap?”

Unable to do anything but nod in response, your fear of upsetting the blonde, of anyone really, making itself known, you followed her instructions, locking the door as she left and starting to remove your sweat covered kit. 

~~~

It’s nearly twenty minutes later when you emerge from the shower, your dirty clothes held precariously in your hands, your eyes wide as you see Leah sprawled across her bed, scrolling aimlessly on her phone. 

A small smile unknowingly escapes you as you watch her nearly throw her phone, very much caught off-guard at your appearance.

Smile tightening quickly as you realized it rested on your face, your eyes met the ground, ears sharp as you noted the footsteps headed towards you.

Before you knew it, the mess of dirty clothes was swiftly taken from your hands, your gaze snapping up as you watched Leah take your dirty kit and toss it into her own hamper before turning to you. 

“Alright. I’d rather you eat, but I’m not going to force you to, yeah? We can take a nap, maybe just reset, or if you wanna sit down and watch a movie or a show we can do that too…how’s that sound?”

Feeling your eyes water at the blonde’s gentle tone, feelings still overwhelming from earlier, your sights met the ground again as you meekly nodded. 

Blood rushing in your ears, you felt the vibrations as Leah stepped towards you again, her hands gently taking yours. 

“Nap?”

Taking her chances at guessing which you preferred, the tender tone in her voice had you easily nodding again, tears you’d been trying to hold back now escaping. 

And as the blonde led you to her bed, you winced as the voices in your head picked up once again, mind baffled at why someone was treating you with this much kindness, this much care.

Choosing to ignore them for now, you smiled shyly at the sight in front of you, Leah having rounded the bed to go on ‘her’ side, the skipper tucked into the sheets, arms wide open as she shot you a soft grin, eyes sparkling with glee as she waited for you to join her. 

Gingerly approaching the bed, you hesitantly pulled back the covers, eyes meeting Leah’s every few seconds to make sure you were okay, before entering, unsure of whether you were allowed to hug the blonde (even if a part of you so desperately wanted to do so). 

Your question was answered for you, however, Leah was unable to see you lying down in such a stiff manner, taking matters into her own hands and hooking an arms around your waist and pulling you into her.

And as you slowly got comfortable, moving millimetres every minute until you finally found yourself resting with your head on her chest, arm wrapped around her midsection as her hand came to wrap around your waist, one running through your hair, you let yourself sink into her hold, brain quietening every so slightly as the familiar presence and scent had you relaxing.

It was only when you were on the verge of sleep, minutes later, did you hear Leah’s voice whisper into the air between you two, her lips pressing a tender kiss to your forehead as an apology as she realized her mistake of rousing you from your sleepy state.

“There’s a lot that goes on up there,” with a small nod towards the top of your head, she continued, “but it doesn’t have to stay there y’know?”

Holding her breath as she felt you shift slightly, you turning your body to listen better, she spoke again.

“I’d be more than happy to stay here and listen to you when you need it. Really, any of us would. All of the girls love you and care for you, and despite whatever people might say, you add to the team, yeah?”

Feeling you nod hesitantly at the words, Leah waited as she sensed your jaw move, anticipation killing her as you sounded out the words silently before they left your mouth- and even then, you winced slightly.

“I don’t want to be a burden…don’t wanna waste your time…”

There was something in the way the words quietly rolled off your tongue, no doubt said many times before, the sincerity behind them proving you meant them wholeheartedly- that you believed you were an inconvenience, that broke Leah’s heart.

You weren’t a burden. You weren’t.

She wondered if you’d ever seen yourself the way other’s saw you. If that coloured glass that you saw yourself through was tainted any other colour than black. Whether it was ever yellow so you’d see just how much of a ray of sunshine you were on the stormiest of days, often cheering up your shared teammates with just a single smile as you’d skip into the change rooms.

Or if you ever looked at yourself through the rose coloured glass, the same hue that would coat your cheeks as you’d interact with fans post-game, giving each and every one your undivided attention, making them feel special, and loved, and cared for.

Or whether you ever saw yourself through green, breathing life to even the dullest moments, standing tall, unwavering, as players would try to take you down on the pitch over and over again, you getting back up each time, a force to be reckoned with, one that not even the rainiest of days nor Mother nature could defy.

You weren’t a burden, and the blonde needed you to believe it, because it was the truth and nothing but the wholehearted, honest-to-god truth.

It’s why her honest admission just tumbles out, the words spilling before the defender could stop them.

“If I could hold you all night and all day, I would, without a single doubt or any hesitation.”

Her grip tightening on you as the words are spoken clearly and strongly, her placing a gentle kiss to your temple before continuing.

“If you think you’re gonna waste my time by talking to me when you aren’t doing well, then just know, that listening to you as I try and comfort you and get the chance to hold you in my arms? It’s the best waste of time I’ll ever have in my life. It’s one I’ll cherish till the end of time, because it’s never, and I mean never, a waste.”

Taking a deep breath in, the blonde felt you nod at her words, your own grip tightening around the blonde as you pulled yourself closer into her, closing your eyes in an attempt to believe her the best you could.

Leah could sense your struggle though, not ignorant to the way a small, trembling breath escaped you, frustration clear.

“You don’t have to believe me now, or any time soon really, but just know, it’s the wholehearted truth- and I’ll spend as long as you need reminding you, because you’re good enough. You’re more than good enough, and worthy of love, and a good life, and good things. You deserve love, even though your brain tries to tell you otherwise, yeah?”

When you didn’t say anything, it clear to the blonde that you were silently taking in her words, contemplating them, doing your best to believe them, she let you be, revelling in the silence as took in the feel of you being in her arms, one of her favourite feelings in the world.

The blonde could almost feel you turning her words over in your head, examining them from top to bottom as you inspected them for any indication of a lie, surprised when there wasn’t one.

Content with the way you hadn’t spoken out yet in disagreement, Leah decided to take her chances and bite the bullet.

Proposing her next idea, the blonde held her breath in anticipation, heartbeat slowing dramatically as she hoped you’d agree to her words.

“I’ll always be here to hold you, but I think it might just help if we see a professional, yeah? You and me, both of us, we’ll go, and just give it a crack?”

Feeling your hesitancy this time, the blonde pulled you closer to her gently, turning onto her side as her eyes met yours. 

One hand now carefully resting on your cheek, she placed a loving kiss on your forehead, then your nose before continuing. 

“Three sessions is all I ask. If you don’t want to go after that, then I won’t ask again, ever. But, just give me three sessions, and I’ll be there for each one if you want, and if nothing changes, then you’re off the hook, deal?”

There was an audible sigh of relief that escaped Leah’s lips as you hesitantly nodded in agreement.

Deciding that that was good enough for the time being, Leah smiled softly to herself, more than happy with any baby steps of progress being made.

“Just want you to love yourself the way the rest of us love you. The way I love you…”

The words were punctuated with another gentle kiss on your head, this time her lips lingering as you both basked in the touch, the blonde well aware that physical touch was your love language. 

Nodding to yourself as your girlfriend’s arms wrapped around you at the end of her sentence, heart feeling just a tad bit lighter as her embrace sucked you in, you let out a sigh of relief at the quiet in your mind and warmth in your chest.

Snuggling further into Leah’s hold, you let out a shaky breath as the emotions of the day filtered out of you, you weren’t going to lie, you were terrified for the future- absolutely scared shitless for what it held. But, with Leah by your side, on your team, cheering you on, a spark of hope nestled quietly inside you, filling you with a refreshing breath, a new goal to work towards.

Not now, not soon, but slowly and surely, you’d work your way through this. You wanted to. for your sake and hers.

After all, with your girlfriend to remind you that you were human, someone that could live and not just survive, maybe you could finally teach yourself it too.

[cal-flakes]

maybe dealer!rafe finding his girl in the middle of a panic attack and how he would help her through it?

╰┈➤ panic attack comfort

warning: not much, y/n having a panic attack.

summary: the only person who can calm y/n down its rafe. (we’re also pretending that rafe and the pogues don’t want to kill eachother during every interaction.)

y/n clamped her hands over her ears as an argument between pope, john b and jj ensued. taking notice of this, sarah rushed to her friends’s side, asking what was wrong.

y/n’s eyes glazed over as the shouting, as well as sarah’s concerns became muffled, a high pitched ringing overriding her senses.

her chest heaved as she struggled to control her breathing while her heart pounded in her chest. to say y/n wasn’t a fan of yelling was an understatement, it was more of a trigger really.

she didn’t have the happiest childhood, having grown up around her parents who constantly yelled and screamed at each other, often ending violently. the long term effects of that were a lot worse than you’d imagine.

“y/n? y/n what’s happening?” sarah pleaded, placing a gentle hand around y/n’s wrist. “c-can’t breathe…rafe..” she whispered between breaths, clutching her hands to her face.

“w-wait, pope shut up!” jj yelled, his attention now drawn to his curled up friend. silence fell across the group, all now staring at the trembling girl. “sarah? sarah what’s happening?” john b asked, also concerned.

“we need to call rafe..” sarah sighed, glancing between y/n and the others. “rafe? what do you mean we need to call rafe?” jj spat, as if the word itself was disgusting.

“she’s having a panic attack jj! and he’s the only one who knows how to help!” exasperated, a frown settled on sarah’s face.

y/n’s chest only get tighter at the attention she’d gathered from her friends. “i’m sure there’s something we can do…y/n what can we do?” pope asked. “does she look like she can explain?” sarah snapped, her features contorting and his lack of sensitivity. “right, yeah..my bad..”

“okay, sarah you call rafe, i’ll stay here with her” jj smiled, settling on the floor beside y/n. a shaky hand clasped around his arm when he did, longing for comfort.

he slung an arm around her shoulders, shushing her while he watched sarah pace around the chateau. “he’s coming!” sarah called from the porch, setting her phone down on the table. “see, it’s okay y/n, rafe’s on his way..” jj cooed.

y/n’s fingers clawed at her throat, the feeling of it closing up panicking her further. her throat wasn’t closing up, but the feeling was so undeniably similar she could help but try and make it stop. “hey, you’re gonna hurt yourself..”

the sound of brakes screeching not too far from the chateau turned their heads as the listened to the twigs snapping beneath his feet.

“sarah!” a breathless voice called, you’d think he’s ran all the way there. “in here!”

hot tears ran down her flushed cheeks as his footsteps neared, the mixed feeling of embarrassment and panic caused her stomach to flip.

as he closed in on y/n and the others, he sped up, catching a glimpse of the state she was in.

his eyes widened as he crouched infront of her, reaching to grab her hands, noticing her fingers were red raw. a sign they’d been gnawed at leading up to now forgotten argument between the pogues.

“hey, i’m here y/n, can you look at me?” he uttered, giving her palms a gentle squeeze.

watching as her bloodshot eyes fluttered open, he couldn’t help but grin at how beautiful she looked, even with mascara smeared around her eyes. “gonna take a deep breath, m’kay? can you do it with me?”

nodding, her eyes flitted between rafe and the floor as she attempted to suck in a breath. “that’s it angel, good job..”

after a couple minutes, their breathing had synced as she mimicked his movements, meeting his eyes as she did.

“rafe..” she whispered, reaching her hands to his face. “i’m here angel, i’m not going anywhere..”

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

Wolf Chan | Bang Chan

Pairing: Werewolf!Bang Chan x Reader. 

Request: No.

Synopsis: Y/N's suspicions are confirmed on a Halloween night. 

Warnings: Werewolves, fear, wounds, my poor attempt at scary. Fluffy ending. Repost from my now deactivated account.

Word Count: 1,093 

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©️ No one has permission to copy, translate and/or repost my fics on here or any other site. Likes, Comments & Reblogs are welcomed and appreciated. 

"Hey baby," Y/N speaks into her phone as she's greeted by her boyfriend's voicemail for the third time. When he doesn't answer his phone, she becomes concerned and decides to leave a message this time. It wasn't normal for Chan miss her calls, and if he did, he would call her as soon as he could. "Call me as soon as you get this, okay? I'm beginning to worry."  

After ending the call, she checks her text messages before sending a text to Changbin and Han asking if Chan was still with them. They are the two who were likely to be know of what was going on since he spends most of the day with them. They both reply to the text right away, stating they haven't seen him since they took a lunch break.  

Y/N circles back and begins walking towards Chan's apartment building. She is more worried than ever. Being a bit of a workaholic, Chan wouldn't just leave the studio without notifying anybody, especially those who are closest to him.   

Her worry quickly turns to terror as she reaches his apartment and sees that the door is wide open and barely hanging on its hinges. A wolf's cry can be heard out in the distance, sending a shiver down her spine.  

As she goes Chan's apartment, the sky open’s and it starts pouring rain, far in the distance the rumbling of thunder could be heard, adding to the fear she’s already experiencing. Gripping the strap of her shoulder bag tightly, her heart pounding against her chest, she steps through the doorway, crossing the threshold into his apartment.  

 "Channie?" She calls out to him in the pitch-darkness, but her voice comes out weaker and quieter than she expected.  

She finds the light switch and flicks it on. She gasps and jumps as the bulb momentarily flickers before shattering into a million pieces, leaving her once again in darkness. The only light came from the full moon faintly illuminating the living area. Her heart is pounding against her chest so loudly that she can hear it with her own ears. While remaining in place, she clumsily pulls her phone from her bag and drops it on the ground. She picks it up with trembling hands and hastily makes another call to Chan.  

The sound of Chan's phone ringing causes her to look around in fear. It's another strange element of the situation. In the same way that his laptop is an extension of him, Chan never leaves his home without his phone.    

She drops her phone and screams aloud as a huge bang comes from behind her. She turns on her heal and sees Bang Chan, half naked, covered in blood, with enormous, jagged wounds that look like claws larger than a bear have torn through his flesh and appearing to be on the cusp of death's door. Her fear turns to panic as he slumps to the ground and passes out.  

“Chan!” she shouts as she rushes towards him and tries to get him to wake up. “Chris! Christopher!”  

When he doesn’t budge or stir, she moves to check his wounds. Seeing how deep they are, she hurries into the bathroom to find the first aid kit he keeps in there. Finding it under the sink, she grabs it hurries back to the kitchen.   

Arriving back in the kitchen, she’s startled to find Chan missing. Fear creeping back into her veins, she looks around to see where he could have gone. In the dark room it was hard to see where he could be.  

“Bang Chan?” she questions, her voice meek.  

“What are you doing here?” She hears him ask, voice raspy and weak. The pain he’s in is evident in his tone.  

“I’m worried about you,” she answers, looking in the direction his voice came from, but she can’t see a thing until a flash of lightening illuminates the apartment for less than a second. She finds his form leaning against the wall in the living room, slightly hunched over and shivering. “You never came for dinner, you weren’t answering your calls, and no one has seen you since midday.”  

“Something came up,” he tells her. “You need to leave, now.”  

“Let me help you,” she says going to take a step forward only for him to yell at her to stop.  

“Go home, Y/N,” He continues to shout at her, his tone loud and booming over the pouring rain, shocking her. He’s never raised his voice like that at her before.   

“I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay,” she tells him, her voice calm and assertive.   

“I’m fine.”  

“No, you're not.” she argues, and moves towards him.   

Giving in, he allows her to help him into his bedroom. She switches on the light as the enter the room and places him on the bed. After getting a better look at his wounds and ignoring all of Chan’s protests, she heads back into the kitchen to grab the first aid kit she dropped.   

Walking back into the bedroom, she finds Chan missing again. Hearing the running water coming from the bathroom, she walks into the room finding Chan with a damp cloth, wiping the blood from his skin. There are no more wounds littering his perfect body. The only sign of there any, is the blood that now stained the cloth he’s using and the pink water in the sink.  

“When were you going to tell me that you’re a werewolf?” she asks leaning on the bathroom door frame, watching him.   

“I was hoping, never,” he answers honestly. “But that would be impossible. How did you figure it out?”   

“I got suspicious when you would only spend the whole night at the studios when there was a full moon,” she tells him. “Leading up to the full moon, you’re always on edge and a lot snappier and more aggressive. It’s also like you're in heat leading up to it as well.”   

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you and you had to figure it out on your own,” he apologizes unplugging the sink, letting the pink stained water swirl down the drain.  

“Promise me, you’ll let me help you from now on and that we’re in this together,” she asks. “I love you and don’t want to lose you.”  

“I promise,” he answers, moving closer to her, bringing her into his arms. “But as soon as I tell you to leave, you leave. I don’t want to hurt her or worse.”  

She nods and pulls him into a kiss. 

©️ No one has permission to copy, translate and/or repost my fics on here or any other site. Likes, Comments & Reblogs are welcomed and appreciated. 

BANG CHAN: @staytiny2000 - @dancelikebutterflywings - @kpopmenace143 - @treehouse-mouse - @alexxavicry - @jedi-dreea - @rainydayteacups - @tinyelfperson - @yeonjunnie - @laylasbunbunny - @lixsimp143 - @skz1-4-3

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[waynes-multiverse]

Rehab – Chapter 6

Series Summary: Thanks to Soldier Boy, the CIA was able to develop Project Bloom under the fierce leadership of Grace Mallory: a final cure to Compound V and a hopeful end to the supe epidemic three years after the explosive incident at Vought. A secret rehab facility in Upstate New York is supposed to help former heroes find their way back to humanity. The catch, though? Soldier Boy has never fucking agreed to any of this shit and is surely not happy about being powerless for the first time in his goddamn long life.

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female!Reader

Warnings: +18, language, nudity/smut, a dash of fluff, a huge cup of angst & hurt

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: This one reeks of drama, guys! I feel like I just came back to get yelled at... Welp, let the screaming begin! 😂

Feedback is my fuel 🖤

<< Chapter 5 || Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist

Chapter 6: bad things

“No, no, no! Don’t shoot him! He did nothing wrong!”

The desperate exclamation rings in Ben’s ears, loops through his mind in circles. His muscles freeze, don’t dare to move or even twitch. His breathing stills; his heart pounds like it never has before. A violent thunderstorm in his chest. It’s so loud he almost forgets he’s not bulletproof anymore as he stares down the barrels of three guns. Then he remembers neither is Y/N.

She’s not his goddamn shield. She could get hurt, and the thought causes the blood in his veins to jitter. He can’t lose her.

His feet begin to move and shuffle in front of her, pushing her gently behind his shoulder. Y/N slots behind him and firmly takes his hand. He can feel her eyes on him, but with one brave swallow, Ben just faces the threat and concentrates on the problem in front of him, ignoring his wildly beating heart.

“Y/N, what the fuck happened here?” Derek prompts, brow creased in stern confusion before his eyes land on the lifeless human body by their feet. “Is he–” The nurse doesn’t finish the question, just stares some more at the corpse on the ground, trying to piece the puzzle together as he waves the gun in front of Ben’s face, which causes some general uneasiness in his gut. Fear of dying is an entirely new concept to the former supe, to say the least.

“Uh-huh, yeah, pretty sure,” Y/N confirms and swallows harshly, unnoticeably squeezing Ben’s hand. “I-I killed him.”

“You? Really?” Derek cocks an eyebrow in clear disbelief while Ben’s heart jumps wildly in his chest. He can hardly believe it either that she’d take the fall for him. Who in their right mind would do such a thing? “Is that what I’m gonna find on the security camera footage?” the nurse questions further.

“Shit,” Y/N curses, and it almost sounds like a damn sneeze by the sheer force of it. “Forgot about that…”

Ben’s green eyes wander up to the ceiling, finding several cameras resting peacefully above, tucked away in dark corners like spiderwebs. How has he never noticed them before? Have they really been there all this time?

“Okay, fine,” Y/N admits with a frustrated sigh as her defense crumbles like an unstable house of cards around her. “But what you are gonna see on that footage is Colt assaulting me, alright? He tried to rape me. Ben just came in time. He fucking saved me.”

He fucking saved me.

Ben stares at her as if he can’t quite believe it himself before witnessing the first dark purple bruise form on her upper arm. That bastard. Then anger boils in his chest once more, swapping over the edge of the pot into his throat. He’d kill the guy who dared to hurt her all over again. No regrets.

“Did you really have to kill him? Couldn’t just knock him out and let us fucking handle the rest, huh?” Derek barks with a brow of annoyance this time.

“Got carried away,” Ben mutters in defense and clears his throat, locking his jaw tight.

“Carried away, hm? Typical,” the nurse spits, unamused and impatient. “Powers or not, you fucking supes think you can do whatever the fuck you want. Never care about collateral damage or anyone else. It’s always about you. News flash, buddy – in the real world, we just don’t go around and fucking kill people!”

Ben shares a quick look with Y/N and licks his lips, swallowing thickly. What is the best course of action here? The nurse seems pissed, and he guesses threats won’t help, least of all empty ones. Thinking back to therapy, one idea suddenly pops into his mind.

“Look, I’m-, uh, I’m sorry,” Ben admits, albeit it’s a lie to keep him alive. Again, no regrets. But Dr. Morgan’s ‘an apology goes a long way’ rattles through his head, even though he’s aware people never truly forgive. And as he learned a long time ago, every good lie always contains an ounce of truth. That’s what ultimately sells it as believable. “I lost control for a second. I-, uh… I didn’t like seeing her get hurt by that fucking dick, alright?”

Derek’s eyes fix on Y/N, keeping contact for what feels like a goddamn eternity. Are the two of them holding a silent conversation? But Ben knows they’re friends, and judging by the nurse’s look of concern, he doesn’t approve of Y/N getting hurt either. As much as the staff seems to hate him, everyone loves Y/N here, which ultimately might be his saving grace. It’s all about checks and balances in life.

And then, with a somewhat irritated eye roll, the nurse lowers his gun and gestures for his colleagues to do the same. Sighs of relief leave both Y/N and Ben as the tension disappears with the immediate death threat, their shoulders falling.

“You guys can go,” Derek tells his companions. “I’ll handle it.”

The two other nurses nod in unison and vanish down the corridor again, probably to resume their earlier posts. Ben’s still not sure if they aren’t actually CIA and the medical training is just a sham like everything else in this rehab center. He’s slowly starting to catch on.

“You know I have to report this back to Mallory,” Derek announces then, drawing the attention back to him.

“Please, you can’t do that. You know what will happen then. They hate him,” Y/N reasons, and Ben tries not to be offended by her honesty. Truthfully, he’s pretty sure as well that he ain’t the government’s favorite person on this planet.

“Just out of curiosity… what exactly will happen then?” Ben dares to ask, although he can take a good guess. Still, he’d like to have all his facts straight before pondering his next move.

“Chair,” Derek shoots straight without missing a beat, not an ounce of sympathy gleaming in his eyes.

“Or lethal injection if they feel gracious,” Y/N murmurs bitterly.

Yup, Ben guessed correctly.

“But he didn’t do anything wrong. He doesn’t deserve to get punished for it,” Y/N insists. It warms his cryo-frozen heart that she’s fighting for him. Has anyone ever done that before? He can’t remember, but it certainly feels good. “If Mallory finds out, she’s gonna use it as an excuse to get rid of him. God knows she’s been waiting for that chance probably since he got here.”

“And what the fuck do you want me to do about it?” Derek twitches his shoulders high.

“Lie,” Y/N suggests bluntly. “Just tell her I killed the guy after he attacked me and delete the footage. She won’t care if it was me. Hell, she never cared enough before when someone died. She won’t care now either.”

“She might if she finds out he was involved,” Derek counters and motions to the ancient superhero.

“Well, as far as you’re concerned, he was never here, alright?” Y/N asserts and stubbornly folds her arms over her chest to make her stance clear. She won’t budge. She’s a headstrong one, after all.

Derek seems to know that fact as well and heaves an exhaustive sigh. Another eye roll follows. “Fine,” he grits. “I’ll deal with the body. Clean him up,” the nurse orders grimly and then stomps down the hallway.

Returning with a first-aid kit, Y/N closes the door of her room behind her, finding the fallen supe and former hero sitting idly on the edge of her bed.

He’s twisting and playing with his thumb in his lap before one finger reaches for the split bottom lip and collects a drop of blood on it. He hisses and then frowns at the scarlet red stain on his pad, the tip of his tongue darting out to lick at the wound and surely being able to taste the iron. Fascinated with what his green eyes find, his fingers continue to play with the injury, although it seems to burn, judging by the various flinches of his facial muscles.

“Feels weird, huh?” Y/N joins him with an amused smile, settling down next to him on the mattress. His eyes land on her as he rests his hands back into his lap and watches as she dabs some disinfectant on a cotton ball.

“A little,” Ben admits sheepishly and winces when the rubbing alcohol connects with his open wound. He tries to swat her hand away, but Y/N remains stubborn and unbothered by his action.

“Hold still and stop being a baby,” she orders him, giggling. “Accepting medical help doesn’t turn you into a girl.”

“I’m not a–… Fine.” Ben sighs his defeat and allows her to patch him up. Admittedly, it feels kind of nice to be cared for, especially by the girl he likes – a soldier and his nurse. He determines he can live with that mental image.

Once his lip stops the bleed, she proceeds to wrap an ice pack in a clean dish towel and holds it up to the left side of his face.

He huffs. “I don’t need that fucking shit.”

“Your black eye heavily disagrees with you there, stud.” Y/N giggles, a teasing smile playing on her lips as if she finds the whole torture damn amusing.

Ben pops an eyebrow in bewilderment. “I’ve got a black eye?”

“Yep, big one, too,” she confirms and gently brushes a few strands of sandy blond locks out of his face. She then grabs a small handheld mirror from her bedside table and holds it up for him.

Gobsmacked, he studies his face, pinches and squeezes the skin between his fingers, and causes deep wrinkles in his brow like someone who’s stuck in the wrong body. Freaky Friday.

“Fuck me.” He gasps in fascination and snorts. “I’ll be damned...”

Y/N grins, amused. “You look like you’ve been in a real fight, champ. First one?”

“In this century, yeah.” Ben chuckles softly, nodding. “First one was in my sophomore year, 1934.”

“Wow.” Y/N whistles lowly and laughs. “Sometimes I forget how old you truly are. Lemme guess, you got into a fight over a girl?”

Ben smirks widely. “Now, how did you know?”

“Seems to be a common theme for you,” Y/N muses and chews on her lower lip, her cheeks heating up even in the darkness of the room. Lowering the ice pack from his face, her fingertips gently trace the swelling. His skin feels sufficiently cold to the touch. “That should help for now,” she determines and sends him a smile. “Thanks for saving me. You might not have been a true hero back in the day, but you certainly were mine tonight.”

Ben swallows hard at that and wets his lips, head bobbing in pensive rhythm as he averts his gaze to the fluffy rug under his bare feet. “Well… Wouldn’t have been necessary. It was my goddamn fault, after all. If I hadn’t–… Well, I-I guess what I’m trying to say is… I shoulda known better. I’m sorry, Y/N. Honestly. I’m truly sorry.”

Y/N nods quietly next to him, accepting his admission of guilt and the included apology. Truthfully, she thought the day would never come that the Soldier Boy who slumbers deep inside of him would ever admit to any wrongdoing, but she knows better than letting her surprise show. “Why did you provoke him?”

Ben presses his lips tightly together and shakes his head, his Adam’s apple bobbing harshly with the words he’s swallowing down as he refuses to answer. Y/N’s hand reaches out and settles on his shoulder blade, tenderly caressing his back. Ben grabs it and kisses her knuckles apologetically. “I suppose monsters can’t escape the skin they’re in. I’m a fucking asshole. There’s not much more to it.”

“Yeah, true. You can be a real asshole,” Y/N agrees with a laugh, playfully teasing him. He meets her gaze with a raised look, hoping there’s more to her statement, though. “But you’re also a lot of other things, too,” she adds finally.

Ben swallows, keeping his green eyes fixed on her with a gleam of curiosity. “Like what? Mind naming a few ‘cause I don’t really know who I am. Not anymore.”

Y/N bobs her head and rests her chin on top of his broad shoulder, offering him a smile while her fingers brush through his soft hair. “I do. I know who you are.”

“Yeah?” Ben finds her eyes and cocks an eyebrow. “Could you by any chance enlighten me as well? Help a fella out here, huh.”

“Well, for starters… You’re an incredibly bad singer. Like, really, really, really awful. Disastrously lousy,” Y/N teases him, to which Ben rolls his eyes and pouts his lips, which hide a smile behind it. “Most of all, I honestly wish you’d stop singing that damn Cass Elliot song.”

“It’s an awesome song! Your generation just doesn’t know how to appreciate great music anymore,” Ben grumbles defensively. “This is truly the reason why the world’s going to shit…”

“Oh, we do, old man. I’m all for the classics – just as long as you’re not singing them.” Y/N laughs and presses a soothing kiss to his cheek to balance her criticism. “But you’re funny. I’ll give you that.”

His face lights up at her words like a kid’s on Christmas morning, the pout disappearing. “Yeah? You know Bob Newhart once wanted me to perform with him,” he boasts.

“Oh, I bet he did,” Y/N replies with a smile and doesn’t let him catch on to her little act. “You’d probably would’ve stolen the show. You’re hilarious.“

His cheeks blush at her words, and he subtly tries to get rid of the sudden fluster by clearing his throat. “So, uh, what else?”

“You’re a great lover.” Y/N smirks, and he matches it. “Fantastic, truly. You rock my world like no one else does.”

“Yeah? I mean… damn right, I do.” Ben grins widely, his large palm running up her thigh and squeezing the flesh as he cheekily wiggles his eyebrows. “And I guess you’re easy to please, sweetheart,” he adds and shrugs her compliment off with feigned coolness, but his impossibly reddening cheeks give away his true feelings on the subject.

Y/N then swallows, looking into his juniper eyes. “You’re also a very caring man,” she admits and catches the surprise in his orbs. “If you want to be… sometimes… under certain circumstances…”

Ben snorts, chuckling. “Okay, got it.”

“You really are my hero,” Y/N repeats her earlier sentiment then, and before she can overthink and change her mind again, she leans closer and presses her lips against his, catching him off guard. Her heart jolts out of her chest.

A moment ticks away on the clock.

Ben counts each second until he reaches eleven, surprised his brain even works that well with all the fireworks exploding in his ribcage. He cherishes every second, too scared to fully kiss her back in case it scares her away.

Still, she draws back all on her own and retreats, a breathless smile dancing across her moonlit features. The tip of her nose nudges his as she rests her forehead on his, encouraging him to go on.

“You sure?” Ben checks. She nods with eagerness, and like lightning, his palms cup her cheeks like a treasured pearl, fingertips tracing the outline of her mouth. His lips crash against hers like a stormy wave hitting a rocky cliff – violent, ambitious, and wild.

His lungs wring for oxygen as he swallows and sucks her plush bottom lip between his. She opens her mouth wider for him, allows his tongue to slip inside and taste her. He savors every drop like a parched man finding water in the desert.

His hands roam. One lands on the back of her neck, the other on her waist. He pulls till she falls into his lap and straddles his legs as he explores her warm cavity with his wet lips and his thick tongue, ignoring the stings his wound causes. She’s salt, but the urge to keep kissing her, devouring her, is stronger than any pain that surges through his body.

Then, he stops and swallows the biggest lump of a lifetime, swallows like he’s never swallowed anything before. He takes a deep breath and says, close to a whisper, “I love you, Y/N. I really do.”

Y/N makes him feel happy, makes him feel like a kid again, like flying could be possible. Like everything could be possible. Maybe he could prove himself to the CIA and Mallory. He’s done great on his outings so far. No body count or outbursts. Maybe the two of them could get out of the clinic together. Maybe they could have a future together, after all. Things can change. He could change.

Ben smiles from ear to ear, his heart full of love. A love that’s visible in every crease on his face and tangible in every bone of his body.

“Ben…”

His happy smile fades like a ghost and joins the dead as he witnesses the rainbow of sheer horror and regret spreading on Y/N’s face. He pushed the wrong button, and now it’s all going nuclear.

“I think you should go,” she says quietly and averts her gaze.

“Go?” Ben’s brow furrows as he scoffs, nostrils flaring with a mix of anger and disbelief. “You’re not gonna say it back, even though–“

“Even though what, Ben?!” she snaps. “Even though I told you a thousand times what this was? Even though you knew we’d never be more?”

“But–“

“No! No buts!” Y/N’s voice is louder now as it fills with anger. She jumps up from the bed and starts pacing the room. Her throat closes. Her heart pounds a million beats. It suddenly feels like some supe sucked all the air out of the room, and now there’s no oxygen left to breathe. Desperately, she runs a hand through her hair and looks at Ben. “You don’t even know what love is. Let’s face it – the only person you ever loved was you and only you.”

Ben clicks his tongue and rubs a palm through his beard. Then, he rises from the bed and walks to the door. He knows when he’s not wanted. He knows when it’s time to leave. And yet, he still tries. If anything, he’s always been a fighter, even when the world didn’t appreciate it.

Resting his hand on the doorknob, Ben takes one last deep breath and glances back at Y/N. “You sure you can’t love me? Not even a little?”

He knows the answer, knows what the truth really is. He’s unlovable. Maybe he’s also a masochist and takes pleasure in torturing himself. Or maybe he’s simply a hopeless romantic – old-school.

Y/N sighs and shakes her head, her voice bitter. “No. I don’t love you. No one can.”

Ben’s fought battles, other superheroes, parents, ex-lovers, and friends. It’s not the first time he’s hearing this, either. Yet, it still hurts the most.

“Okay.” Ben nods in defeat and harshly swallows down the hurt in his entire body. “I guess thank you for your honesty then.” He forces a weak smile to his lips. “You’re wrong, though, by the way… I do know what love is.”

As the door closes behind the broken former supe, Y/N realizes what she’s done. She wants to run after him, tell him she’s a better liar than him, and nothing of what she’s said was the truth. That she’s never been happier than when she’s with him. That she wants everything that he wants. That she does love him for fuck’s sake.

But why should she give him false hope and placate him? He’s had enough of that his whole life. It’s better to rip the band-aid off right now. There’s no future for them. That’s the real lie. The CIA will never let him go. Y/N knows that, and Ben should know it, too. He deserves to know.

So, she stays mum and lets him go.

The rational part wins in the end and keeps her feet frozen to the ground, even though it shatters her heart.

Fourteen hours, thirty-three minutes, and fifty-one seconds.

That’s how much time has passed since Ben left her room last night. That’s also how long Y/N has thought about their conversation, replayed it bit by bit in an endless loop.

It’s also the same amount of time that regret could fester in her heart.

Maybe the world isn’t black and white, after all. Maybe it’s okay to live in the gray. Maybe it’s even healthy to hope. Maybe it’s essential for a human’s survival.

Y/N’s knuckles knock on the door of Room 11 like she’s done so many times before. It almost feels like a full circle moment.

Five months ago, she could’ve never imagined becoming friends with the narcissistic asshole that resides in that room, much less falling head over heels in love with him.

Yet, here she is.

Her ears then pick up a set of strange noises, moans and groans that echo out into the hallway. Her stomach churns, her gut already knowing what’s happening inside before her brain and heart can catch on.

Determinedly, she opens the door and storms in. As expectedly, she finds the former green-eyed superhero standing at the end of his bed with blonde Daisy on all fours on the mattress. Needless to say, neither of the two is dressed.

Y/N’s mouth fills with spit – or bile – she can’t really tell. She wants to simultaneously scratch out her eyes and brand the memory into her brain as a reminder to never trust someone again. To never be this stupid again.

Far from stopping any action, Ben continues on with his movements as he recognizes her. He even looks her dead in the eye. If he’s taken aback by her presence or feeling caught, he doesn’t let it show. Instead, a wide, cunning and petty smirk spreads across his cheeks.

“Hey, sweetheart, c’mon, get in here,” he says and slaps Daisy’s rear with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “Join us,” he extends his invitation, his voice laced with something wicked and vile.

Y/N doesn’t respond. She might have even blacked out for a second because a minute later, the door is closed again, and she’s back in the hallway with no memory of how she got here.

Inhaling and exhaling a few million deep breaths, Y/N lets the calm wash over her and feels clearer than ever before. Clarity and closure. She’s finally got it.

She rips off the green bracelet around her wrist and pretends she doesn’t feel like the biggest idiot that ever walked this planet. Truly, she should thank him. It’s the push she needed.

“It’s time,” she decides.

As the door slams shut behind Y/N, Ben pulls out and mindlessly shoves the blonde back onto the bed. Everything went according to plan, but why doesn’t it feel good?

Revenge always made him feel better in the past. It always scratched the itch and patched the hole in his heart.

Y/N was supposed to get jealous, maybe even start a hot and wild catfight with Daisy over him. She was supposed to realize what she lost – what he was goddamn worth.

Instead, she looked sad, though, and he feels like utter shit.

The blonde is complaining and yapping about something as he gets dressed, but Ben doesn’t register a single word of what she says, his mind too focused on Y/N that everything else just sounds like white noise. Daisy then leaves angrily, but he doesn’t care, either.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Eighteen hours, nine minutes, and forty-two seconds.

That’s how much time has passed since Y/N left his room and caught him red-handed. That’s how long he thought about what he’s done like the worst prison sentence in history. It’s the amount of time he’s decided to let things cool off. If there’s one thing he’s learned, it’s that neither of them are good when things get heated.

Ben knocks on her door, but instead of an answer, the door just gently falls open. As the century-old supe steps inside, he doesn’t recognize the room anymore.

Gone are the lively furniture and homey vibes. White walls, white floors, bleak windows, and an empty bed greet him.

Well, almost empty.

On the bed lies something Ben recognizes in an instant. It’s the green friendship bracelet he once gifted her, a piece of paper rolled inside of it like a scroll.

Bye, dude.

Ben crumbles the paper in his fist and throws it on the marbled linoleum, not wasting a second as he races to the nurses’ station and finds Derek.

“Where is she?” Ben snarls and plants his palms forcefully on the counter. God, does he wish he’d have his powers right now. He’d make the Earth shake in its core.

Derek, however, doesn’t even glance up from his trashy tabloid as he turns another page disinterestedly. “Where’s who?” “Y/N! Where is she? Her room is empty!”

That seems to catch Derek’s attention. He puts the magazine down and meets the former supe’s gaze. “Oh, uh, she left.”

“I know that. I can see that,” Ben grits patiently through his teeth. It’s hard being nice and polite when you truly want something. “When’s she coming back?”

The nurse wrinkles his brow. “Never,” he replies. “Didn’t she tell you? She finally left. For good. I say good for her. Was about time.”

Ben swallows. She left? Without him? Without saying goodbye? Without even telling him?

A part of him is happy for her. He wanted her to get out of the clinic and live her life to the fullest. If anyone deserved to, it was Y/N.

Another part, though, is shocked she left so easily without flinching. Without looking back and seeing him in the rearview mirror.

“Where’s she now? I need to see her. I need to tell her something,” Ben demands urgently. “Can you take me to her?”

“Nope, sorry. No more outings for you, Casanova,” Derek tells him. “Orders from the boss. With Y/N gone, you’re not allowed out anymore.”

“What?!” Ben stumps.

“Yeah, I know you didn’t realize this, but Y/N was protecting you. Without her, there’s no more privileges for you. Understood?” the nurse informs him indifferently.

Ben grinds his teeth, his furious green eyes locking on the door to the outside and then drift to the keycard hanging from the nurse’s white chest pocket.

Fast like a lightning bolt, Ben rips the card and makes a run for the exit. Screams for security, alarm bells, and red blinking lights start to fill the halls. But he’s almost made it. He’s so close to freedom, he can taste it on his goddamn tongue.

If he were naked and still had superpowers, it would feel like deja-vu.

Except the last time he broke free, no sea of arms slung around him and held him back. He screams and fights and shouts and hits. He can feel the cool prick of a needle in his jugular, feels the poison flood his veins.

And then, it all goes black.

Chapter 7: make up sex

I know, I know they're both idiots. What d'you want me to do about it, huh? "Fix it! Fix it!" Yes, I hear ya... 😘

Since it's been a few months, I'm renewing the tags. I still linked the old one for this part as not everyone surely caught that I'm back. Join the new tag list here!

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