#the sleep headcanons from yesterday reminded me that I had this drafted

[handfulofmuses]

J is not someone you can find in “sleep mode” often. In the mansion there was always something to do, the Elliot’s were not someone to appreciate their servants lazing about - nor did they necessarily believe that robots needed to sleep so most of the time she was working even when the other drones already went to sleep, preparing for the next day.

It was the same thing when they were killing the workers. As their leader, she was the one to come up with strategies and planning their next move. J usually did so when V and N entered sleep mode.

If she goes into sleep mode, J is a VERY light sleeper. The slightest change in environment or noise will wake her up. J knows better than to let down her guard and with her death count, she barely, if at all, goes to sleep. It’s to risky for her.

[lokiarsene]

like yesterday, here's a bullet list of my thoughts for episodes 18~21

thoughts on episode 18:

oh no, it's the beach episode.

-- i really like how they show the way the PT take care of futaba. ren patiently cleaning up her room in between hours at the florist, them playing vidya with her, or just having lunch together in montage moments is very sweet. it makes me wish the anime had much slower pacing, more slice of life-y kind of drama.

-- watching yusuke, ryuji, and futaba lose their freakin minds over good curry is VERY relatable.

-- i still don't understand why ann and makoto thought that a two piece frilly bathing suit was the way to go with futaba. a one piece that she could wear under a long wrap or a hoodie would've made so much more sense... but >male gaze

-- have i told y'all how fucking tired i am of the sexualization of the teenage girls in p5 yet, and how it is one of the several things that fuckin ruined this game for me

have i?

well here it is again

none of the previous games were as bad as this b t w and p4 had one of the dungeons be a STRIP CLUB.

-- yusuke and his lobsters are wonderful.

-- oh god i forgot COMPLETELY about the whole 'mental shutdowns' thing in this game's plot. i think because it's all so pointlessly convoluted. p3 had something similar but even there it was just people turned catatonic for weeks on end when the monthly boss-shadows drew near.

i think the reason i find this so hard to understand is because from p3 to p4 the rules of shadows didn't really change so much. p3 had the persona users go up against shadow bosses; p4 had people confront the shadows within themselves, either accepting them completely (which then turned into persona), or the shadow 'absorbed' the person and ran rampant as a monster. neither of those rules really contradict each other, but in p5 personal shadows for persona users are gone completely, and how you deal with other people's personal shadows doesn't even involve them being present to complete the merge.

mona says that persona users can't have palaces, but persona users in 4 could and DID have 'dungeons' within the shadows' worlds. these dungeons dealt specifically with what was at the core of the shadows' emergence--a deep secret and a hidden truth that caused the shadow to grow, a place that was a replica and a distortion of reality based upon that suppressed truth. so that sure sounds like a fucking palace to me.

so....................... unless there's like, multiple realities folded into our own, and persona users can only access certain ones.................. i'm just super confused.

like, i know it's because the rules change game to game, but p3 to p4 didn't have any contradictions, and p2 didn't contradict anything in p3, either. it just went from a full party of wild card users to a singular one.

-- i'm glad ann's getting a little screentime here. i was just thinking about how other characters' development was lacking after makoto and futaba got so much focus.

-- mona's so sweet to ann ;-; now that he has a human form in p5r, i hope they become really good friends. she needs a kind guy friend that'll be reliable~ plus he makes her laugh.

-- sojiro talking about the anniversary of wakaba's death is......... really interesting........ considering that screenshot of futaba sitting next to a woman with the exact same haircut as her "deceased" mother.

-- ren reassuring mona that he absolutely has to be human, that he will return to who he used to be once they figure out what's happening in the metaverse is jsut jdfklasd

AND HIS LIL ROUND OF APPLAUSE WHEN MONA TALKS ABOUT ALL THE THINGS HE'S GOING TO DO TO KEEP THE WORLD SAFE ;-;

AND THAT SHOT OF HIM SLEEPING CURLED UP ON REN'S STOMACH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-- listen i know mona isn't rly a cat but he's the BEST cat

thoughts on episode 19:

oh it's the hawaii episode.

-- man what the hell kinda budget do these school's got that they can just go overseas with dozens of students on a yearly basis? that's impressive.

-- ryuji: "whoa, awesome! ..... i don't really get it, but awesome!" fjdsafds okay that got a laugh outta me. good one, ryuji.

-- ren: "i'm excited, too." (said in a monotone) fjklsadsl BLESS THIS BOY

-- ren's FACE when he learns that futaba installed a spying app on his phone and can hear him/see pictures he takes is...... kind of hilarious. especially if you have the headcanon that he and akechi send dumbass snapchats to each other a lot--which i do. and which you do now, too.

-- mona's depression is ten times more sad because he's a cat okay :c why they gotta make the cat so cute

-- ren, ryuji, and ann's lil sleepover is adorable. especially since ann chastises ryuji for not knowing one of the basic rules of a sleepover: if you start talkin' about your crushes, you gotta start with your own~ thems the rules lads

-- rip principal bloatneck.

-- honestly that truck shoulda at least TRIED to stop.

-- "A LO HA." goddammit that's adorable

AND HE GIVES THE LEI NECKLACE TO MONA FJDSKFJDSKL ren you're so SWEET.

-- I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT MONA CALLS SAE "ONEE-NO-NIIJIMA" FJADSKLFJDSKL ahhhh it's so cute.

-- the PT targeting okumura, who is essentially the dave thomas with political ambitions of the persona 5 world, is far funnier now that i phrase it like that.

-- ANN, OF ALL FUCKING PEOPLE, SAYING THAT THEY PROBABLY BROUGHT THIS RECENT TROUBLE ON THEMSELVES, IS A FUCKING STUPID WRITING DECISION. I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE DIDN'T LOOK AT THAT AND GO, "ANN WOULDN'T SAY THIS. ANN HAS NO REASON TO SAY IT." god. lmao PLEASe let p5r be a goddamn second draft.

-- mona's totally right that ryuji's just concerned with getting popular and his dick wet. like,,, that's why this argument only made me hate ryuji more than i already did. he gets pissy when mona points out the truth.

god he sucks lmao

I'M SORRY I'M SO SALTY YOU GUYS

LOOK I'LL SAY SOMETHING NICE: SAE AND AKECHI ARE COOL

-- i really like how guarded akechi's face looks in his conversation with sae, and how off his guard he looks when she tells him that she's not going to hold back, especially since the culprit is doing such dire, awful things. he's not exactly surprised, but he's definitely uneasy and shaken by what he hears. which makes me wonder who he’s really concerned for--himself, or for ren (and the PT by extension, but akechi only really seems to care about ren, so).

the reason i like that is because the okumura arc in p5 is really where akechi's mind starts its downward spiral. principal kobayakawa's death obviously rattled him, especially since the only reason the principal died was because shido saw him as useless and disposable, something akechi is desperate NEVER TO BE. and it's that + what happens with okumura that really kicks him over the edge.

i hope p5r will give us the chance to pull him back from it. he deserves a better chance than the game's subpar writing gave to him.

thoughts on episode 20:

-- ren wakes up in a panic because he thinks he sees mona on his bed ;___________;

-- goro snoopin' on the PT's LOUD, TOTALLY CONSPICUOUS conversation in front of okumura foods' HQ is kind of adorable if you remember he clearly loves star wars (HE HAS A LIGHT SABER), and the camera cuts to his face right as they're talking about big bang and outer space lingo.

-- oh, haru. i really wish you were the black mask. that would've been so much cooler--and an actual twist. her total hopeless panic about being a beauty thief could still be a thing (because it is actually endearing), it'd just be an act. but that's me talkin' fix-its again.

-- i really like the scene of haru defending mona to the PT on the rooftop, then cutting to show just how strained her relationship is with her father. she exists to be useful to her father's ambitions and nothing else, and that scene really drove home just how painful that is for her.

-- REN TWIRLS HIS HAIR BETWEEN TWO FINGERS WHEN HE'S DEEP IN THOUGHT. AHHHHHHH I FORGOT HE DID THAT

-- oh hey remember how the game went through the trouble of showing how haru's fiance is a sexist, violent, animal-hurting piece of shit and then promptly failed to actually separate her from him in game (i think you only can do that in her s-link?? the s-link you can barely finish in your first run of the game??), and in t hEN SHOWED HER IN THE CAR WITH HIM LATER, LOOKING HORRIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE?

god this story makes me so fucking mad lmfao STOP PUTTING GIRLS IN PHYSICALLY OR SEXUALLY VIOLENT PERIL AND NEVER ACTUALLY ENSURING THAT THEY'RE SAFE, YOU DAVID CAGE LEVEL OF HACK BULLSHIT WRITERS.

-- ryuji running into the attic, all worried about mona, with a first aid kit, is..... very good. very good and endearing. good on you, ryuji.

-- haru gently encouraging mona to tell the truth is also really good. idk if i just missed it in the game or what, but i really like how she's presented in the anime. she's like a counterpart to ren--soft, sincere, observant, patient, yet she's made of pure steel beneath all that.

thoughts on episode 21:

-- WHY WAS HARU'S GRANDFATHER GIVING COFFEE TO A FIVE YEAR OLD

-- haru, the reason your father's heart grew twisted is thanks to capitalism. you gotta change the heart of capitalism.

-- not to be all poochie here but whenever akechi isn't on screen, all i can ask myself is whERE'S AKECHI?

-- HOW CAN I TAKE THE EVIL DAVE THOMAS SERIOUSLY WHEN HE'S DRESSED LIKE FUCKIN MEGAMIND?

-- okay see this is where i'm thrown completely out of the story or even really liking haru. haru just listened to her dad's shadow saying he would PIMP HER OUT TO HER FIANCE WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT. and she still is just like ~no i want him to go back to being kind~

bitch are you nuts

are you NUTS

youR DAd SHOULD DIE AND YOU'D BE BETTER OFF

CONSIDERING HOW THE GAME GOES, YOU ARe BETTER OFF

god. i'm getting so mad again lmao

-- ren approaching haru to point out that if the truth of her father's crimes comes to light, she'll forever be associated with him (and with all the harm and ruined reputation that brings) is, once again, further reminder of just how... damn good ren is. he doesn't hesitate to speak from the heart nor does he ever fail to listen to someone else speak from theirs.

-- also not for nothing but uh

how did the cops not like

figure out how the PT phan-site was set up within the first few months and track it down to mishima? was that ever addressed at all?

-- honestly another reason why i get so fucking mad about this okumura stuff is the game goes SO FAR OUT OF ITS WAY to make you feel BAD that he died, when he was by all rights a fucking shitheel monster, yet when akechi dies it's like 'oh well. that sucked.' fuck off, atlus. the death of a greedy, heartless CEO isn't more sad just because his gaslit daughter is conditioned to be sad about it.

i understand that a large part of the shock after okumura's death is because the PT don't know if they did anything wrong. but okumura was in no way a good person. he was in no way a person whose redemption overruled all the hurt and harm he did. that has been the case for EVERY PT target before this, so why the fuck is okumura suddenly so different? why SHOULD he be?

the difference between him and, say, akechi is that okumura et. al. all made those choices on their own to do terrible things. they delighted in it, they enjoyed it. but akechi, much like futaba, was forced into a cycle of self-destruction--it’s just that in futaba’s case, her self-destruction targeted herself, and akechi’s was quite literally weaponized and used against others. he approached shido as a young teenager and was then used by him for years.

a teenage boy being used as a magical hitman by his shitlord father is far more deserving of sympathy and redemption than grown adults who willingly make the decision to harm, abuse, and prey on others. but no, the game didn’t want to do that.

this is another big problem i have with p5's second and third acts: it's so tonally dissonant and sloppy. it's like they didn't try to actually be as rebellious and hellraiser-y as the first act WANTED to be, and it all ends up being such a limp-dick shriveled mess of "let's fight against this rotten society!! ......... as long as it in no way actually upsets anyone or does any REAL change." fuck off lmao

that's not me even commenting on the "twist" and how it needed to be explained MULTIPLE TIMES to the player for it to make any sense.

and it still doesn't make sense to me btw.

so that's another thing i hope p5r fixes.

-- rip evil dave thomas megamind.

-- akechi floating the idea to sae that the phantom thieves had nothing to do with okmura’s death is............................ interesting.

[masteredshadows]

it’s not munday but I’m FREE I’M FREE I’M FREE so a long ooc post under the cut that you have no obligation to read but is just me fulfilling a need to babble to what appears to be a willing audience + update on writing and my intentions with threads (the first bit so you can read that then disappear)

tl;dr: my rushed artwork + inevitably broken promises to write

#long post warning / !!! if you’re on mobile and read mores are still fucking up I just saw a post that said you can block tags on mobile through settings > filtering or something like that now so yeah! do it! 

first! writing wise -- I’m not making promises to write tonight or even tomorrow or even sunday but I will be able to return to writing soon! and I really want to and now that I’ll be brute forcing myself onto a sleep schedule that isn’t stay-up-for-twenty-four-to-forty-hours-then-collapse-for-twelve I won’t be exhausted anymore and hopefully my writing will be up to a reasonable standard

I also have time and a desperate desire to read which should help with quality

my tentative plan is work through my asks first then anything saved in my drafts (minus headcanons and drabbles because I have several in there) then work through my thread tracker then creep through my activity + put a call out for anything missed

-- call out for anything missed starts now! if you have something you’d like me to reply to I’d like to think I have them all either in my thread tracker or drafts but there’s no harm whatsoever in reminding me now --

and I’ll intersperse drabbles in between as well as do stuff for other blogs under the same general order-schedule

I’d also like to lowkey plug @voidivus bc I want to open him up at one point but don’t feel like writing with people I don’t know lmfao

secondly! discord

I uninstalled it some time ago because of a sudden resurgence of depression but that was largely caused by assignments and now that that stress is free I’ll reinstall it soon tm

not yet

I don’t want to yet

but I’m tentatively saying monday, maybe, unless I really desperately get the urge sooner

that’s all dependent on moods though

thirdly! art art art! art!

I’m not necessarily happy with it but I don’t hate it

it being the two assignments I submitted for my course that I have yet to upload here (the first was that purple and orange girl from a while back)

i’m slapping them in this post bc why not

the above is a piece of environment concept art 

there are things I would change still if given the time but they would mostly require reworking it from the ground art so, as it stands, I’m content with it

I learned a lot from working on it and think I might try to do another environment piece over break in order to try to apply what I learned

I still need to push my value ranges further and my colours as well, alongside making heavier use of photobashing, but, yeah

then a comic which ... I’m definitely gonna find the time to eventually bring up to a standard I’m content with

stylisation is not my strong suit and I really need to study anatomy + I did the lighting for this entire thing in probably twenty, thirty minutes total at the very most

but hey! comic that’ll be super difficult to read when it’s forced into such a small format of a post

transcript:

Hi! Welcome to Maria’s general supply, How can I help you? (which i’m now realising I fuCKED up lmao too late to change it that’s what I get for pulling three all nighters in a week)

Uh-- Thanks. You sell, well, everything, right? I need... Food. Something filling, but small.

Bread. Bread would be good.

Coming right up!

--Also some cold medicine.

No problem.

That’ll cost--

 Y’know, I have a funny story about that whole ‘paying’ thing.

I’m not going to.

(WOW so EDGY 

again. im saving the PSDs and fixing this up at one point when I have the time)

HELP!

GET HIM!

I don’t see him...

He couldn’t have just disappeared.

I’m pretty sure he actually disappeared.

That is very impossible.

I mean, do you see any shady thieves?

(panels can’t be seen -- he climbs out of the garbage bin)

What am I supposed to tell the precinct? 

You’ll figure something out.

It’s me.

Big bro! (totally not stolen from p4 hahaha what)

Hey, little guy! (wow woW BAD) I got you some meds, and hopefully enough food to tide you over until I can get some more.

You can sleep. I’ve got your back. 

I’ll always be there for you.

Always.

there’s a lot I’d change about the comic

for one, it’d be a lot better in full colour than black and white or at the very least shading that takes into account the uh... I can’t remember the proper term but the base values of the materials, skin, etc, rather than just lighting

that said I only started polishing this at around 11 pm yesterday, so for about twelve hours of very on and off work, I think it’s alright (I had the general layout of the panels decided before, but the vast majority of the polishing happened last night)

the biggest lesson not learned is time management, but that’s an issue that plagued me all throughout IB but that I’m working to try to fix

nonetheless, this needs better values, more accurate anatomy, more consistency, and probably colours

and more natural dialogue and a better font.

you can also visually see how early I started working on each page last night/this morning and which pages were most polished before I started lmao

but it’s my first comic, and I’m not necessarily upset by it, I’d just like to take the time to bring it up to a polished state which I can be proud of.

regardless! that’s all where I’ve been

you’ll get your regularly scheduled edgelord soon, though probably with a few personality and portrayal and maybe a soft reset first

I’ll debate on that still