#the simon oversharing hour

[digitalcarcrash]

erm actually it is a gay porno,,,, so

the passenger is so interesting to me because like. it's so obvious that those boys had some weird bdsm shit going on there. but i am not even joking when i say when i watched it for the first time it Legitimately felt like i was watching porn. like i got more flustered and embarrassed watching the passenger then i have watching Real Actual Explicit gay porn

[multific]

Offering

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend and you break up before a mission.

Somehow, you knew, you could see it in his eyes.

Somehow, you knew, you could see it in his eyes.

It was your biggest fear and it became true.

He no longer loved you.

You should have noticed the signs, you should have seen it all coming.

Now that you recall, his touches were extremely different, he barely kissed you or even talked with you.

He didn't love you anymore and it shattered you.

Instead of letting him ramble on with this 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit, you simply stood up and left.

You had a mission in a couple of days anyway.

Taskforce 141 knew that their precious little flower had issues.

From the moment they saw you, they knew something was off.

Thankfully, during the mission, you were able to take your mind off of your ex.

Barely even thinking, you moved on instinct.

Currently, you were with Ghost, waiting for backup before heading into another fight.

Your target was inside a mansion and you two needed some backup before heading in.

"I didn't want to mention this, but I can see it is bothering you. Something happened, Daisy?"

You looked up into his eyes, it was weird to see him trying to be so professional while still calling you by your code name.

"I broke up with my boyfriend. We didn't exactly talk about it but I could see in his eyes he didn't love me anymore. So... yeah."

"He is a dumbass. You deserve a real man."

His honesty made you turn and look at him. You could only smile as he refused to meet your eyes. He knew he overshared. He should have just said 'sorry' and moved on, but he fucked up.

"A real man sounds about right. You know anyone?" he didn't say a word only shook his head, no. "That's sad. I was hoping you were offering," you smirked. "But oh well... Maybe Johnny would be open..."

"No." his reply came way too quickly. There was a couple minutes of silence between the two of you.

"Backup in 10 LT." came Johnny's voice over the radio.

"Copy." Ghost replied.

"You told me many times to leave him because he is not good enough for me. And here I am... I guess I'm more disappointed in myself for trying to believe that it could be real." you said as you let out a sigh.

"You did nothing wrong. He is an idiot."

"A gone idiot." you finished before the chopper arrived. Giving Ghost a smile.

You weren't sure if you were only imagining things.

You swore you could see something in his eyes, something soft and caring.

---

The mission was finished. The information had been obtained.

And you were only the lovely new owner of a shot wound on your arm.

The wound was now all bandaged up and you were ready to head back for some rest.

Ghost closely followed you as you were heading to your room.

"Y/N..." his voice came from behind you as you smiled and turned to face him. You two spent a good amount of time looking at one another before he spoke up again, his voice low.

"Maybe, I am offering." this made your eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"A-are you?" your previous confidence seem to have died down as he took a couple of steps closer to you, eyes never leaving yours.

"I am." he said as his thumb came up to your bottom lip.

You two just stared at one another he moved you into your room as he kicked the door closed.

Using the darkness in the room to his advantage, his face was bare as he placed his lips on yours.

You didn't need to be told twice, you pulled him to the bed without another question or without breaking the kiss.

---

You woke up the next morning to a dull pain in your lower region and a hand on your waist.

Suddenly the reality of the situation hit you like a cold shower.

You had sex with your Lieutenant.

And it was amazing.

You were sure the two of you went on for hours and many rounds. He was an amazing lover, a giver but he also knew how and what to take from you.

You lost count of how many orgasms he gave you but you can recall that he always made your legs shake.

You enjoyed the night.

It was a good distraction from your fucked up life.

But now, that it was morning, you knew, this will all come to an end.

You felt him slightly move behind you as his breath hit your neck.

"I can hear you thinking, Daisy." using your code-name possibly wasn't the best idea he ever had.

You felt distanced from him again.

"You are overthinking." he said again and you wanted to laugh but couldn't. "This doesn't have to be any more than a night if you don't want it to be. I am now offering something more."

"You are not a relationship kind of guy, Simon."

"I could be." his reply came so fast, he made you believe it.

"So what? A secret relationship where you could come to my room and always have to look behind you trying to see if someone was looking?"

"I wanted you for long enough. I feel like I would agree to any conditions." this made you turn and look at him, searching his eyes for a lie which you never found.

You were doomed.

---

And now, you were fucked.

With a dislocated shoulder, a huge gash on your leg, you could barely stand.

Thank God you were sitting.

Sitting and bleeding out.

You let out a long sigh before you hit the radio.

"Guys, I'm not in good shape. My shoulder is fucked, I am bleeding rapidly. I managed to hide in a shop down the street but I feel like they will find me any moment. I'm running low on amo and-"

"Where are you? I'll get you." Simon's voice came over the radio.

"In the perfume store at the back, hiding behind the counter." you replied.

"Stay there, I'm almost there. Gaz, get the chopper. Johnny, how's he mission?"

"Almost got the maps, LT."

"Meet us at the meeting point Johnny." You soon heard the radio get silent as the door to the store opened, you tried to peak. "Y/N?"

"Here." you replied as Simon arrived by your side with a first aid kit.

"What happened?"

"Turned out, I can take guys like you not only in bed." you smirked but Simon didn't find it so funny. "I dislocated my shoulder and he cut my leg." you said with a more serious tone as he grabbed your leg and put a bandage on it, stopping the bleeding.

"I can put your shoulder back." he said and you knew, this is going to hurt.

When he grabbed your arm, you prepared for the worst.

It was a terrible feeling, feeling your shoulder pop right back as you let out a groan.

"Good girl." he said and if you weren't in such a pain, you for sure would have made a dirty comment.

Soon, the chopper arrived and after having a showdown with a couple guys, you were on your way back to the base.

At that point, you lost consciousness. The blood loss caught up to you.

"Daisy?" Johnny asked and you let out a noise. "Just making sure you are all good." he replied. "You made Lt rather worried today." Soap smirked as you let out another groan. Simon looked at Johnny with an angry expression.

"Let her sleep." he said as Johnny put two of his hands up in defence.

"Sorry, Lt." Simon moved to sit next to you, holding your hand, checking your pulse. "I always had a feeling you would be a protective kind of boyfriend." you opened your eyes to that, looking at Johnny. "What? You thought your room is sound proof?! Also, it's so clear that you two are dating. I'm just said you didn't tell me."

"Or me!" replied Gaz with a huff.

"How did you know?" asked Ghost.

"As I said the room is not sound proof and as quiet as you two are, we could hear the noises still. And you are not that sneaky, Lt."

"A big guy like you was basically a beacon walking into her room." said Gaz.

Simon let out a groan.

"Captain also knows. He knew before us actually. I believe he knew even before you two. He always said you two make a good team and it was only a matter of time." Gaz explained and you let out a shaky breath, squeezing Simon's hand.

"I told you to be quiet." he turned to you as you snapped your eyes at him.

"Quiet?! QUIET?! How the fuck am I supposed to be quiet?"

"You have so many pillows, you should have used one!"

"Well, excuse me! Mr 'Let me hear ya Doll'!" Both Johnny and Kyle laughed. "Are you guys... really okay with this? With me and Simon?" you asked with a rather shaky breath.

"Of course! More than okay actually. I always said that Lt needed some lovin'. Captain asked us to see if it will affect the missions. And it did, but in a good way." Johnny nodded as soon you would arrive back to base.

"Thank you." you and Simon said in unison as you landed.

Nurses barged in to get you to the medbay as soon as possible.

Simon could only watch as you were taken away.

Johnny and Kyle both patted him on the back before leaving.

Price arrived soon after.

Simon was sitting in the medbay, waiting to be let in so he could see you. This is when the captain sat down next to him.

"You two could have told us."

"We were afraid we would be separated or discharged."

"I would never do that. Sure the others don't have to know, but as a team, we are responsible for each other." Simon nodded at Price.

"Thank you."

"There is nothing to thank. Let's have a drink once she is better." Just as John said that, a nurse came to inform that Simon could go in.

He sat down in the chair next to you, holding your hand.

You two really thought you were secretive enough.

But you were okay with the others knowing. At least in front of them, you didn't have to pretend anymore.

Simon leaned over to give you a kiss on the forehead.

Taglist: @fleursirvart​ @greenarrowhead​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @sincerelyfan​ @theoneanna​ @aestheticsandmarvel​ @rororo06​ @castellandiangelo​ @destynelseclipsa​ @spilledinkindumpster​ @capsiclesdoll​ @puknow​ @alwayshave-faith​ @alex12948​ @lxdyred​  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​ @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek​ @praline357​ @trshngyn​ @avengers-r-us​ @violet-19999​ @top1bbgloak​   @manduse​   @jacalineiscomingforyou​  

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  

[spookylostboy]

~ radiation ~

Lmaooo you’re so right bestie

[annika-thelostlove]

[EDITED]

Just a little rant 🥲

I'm sorry for the delay of part 2 of 'the second time, you chose right'.

My excuse is pretty melodramatic, but I'm currently experiencing heartbreak. I'm alright though, im just very distracted during my waking hours, and when im asleep I dream about him. But I'm sure it's nothing person can't endure.

It's just my idiot bestfriend who has a frequent habbit for falling for pretty girls very quickly, he's done it again. He's met someone, but now shes apparently 'the most beautiful person hes met in real life' (how am i gonna compete with that????😬) This is a problem since I've been in love with him for 4 months now. It's taken me a while to process my own feelings, (and tbh I'm still not quite sure if it would be the wisest choice to pursue something romantic with him anyway)

Were childhood friends, I already love him for long time. Just not in the way where I now imagine us being together when we're old.

Its like a fanfic lol, the idea at least can make me laugh.

Part 2 is already mostly written, it's currently my editing that I haven't been able to bring myself to finish. Edward x reader are so in love, it just burns me a little 😅💔

I really do want to post it soon in the next few days though, wish me luck 🥴🙏

Edit: thanks for waiting! I'm so close to posting, part 2. I'm so sorry for oversharing 😂, it might be done tonight or tomorrow. But I aim for tonight before I lose my momentum again. 😆😆

Also in line to this post, there might be a short Simon Feck fic coming in the future 👀

[ronans-sepiaphotograph]

@squash1 tagged me in this and im gonna overshare

fav color: teal, lilac and sunflower yellow

currently reading: CDTH

last song: Gorgeous by blondie, ITS SUCH A PYNCH SONG AAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

last series:I think it was Simon Snow and SnowBaz my babies <3333333

sweat, savory, or spicy: probably sweet? im andrew minyard

currently working on: academics and functioning on a couple of hours of sleep :D

tagging: anyone who wants to participate!!!

[sheisbeautyweareworldass]

Can you do a ranking of all the main TSC ships so Clace, Wessa/Jessa, Blackstairs, Jordelia and Kitty( though we don't have TWP yet so we don't know how their full story yet)? I definitely find that I enjoy all the other ships more than the main ones, excluding Jessa and Kitty. I love reading your opinions because you articulate your thoights so well!!

hi, thank u for asking!!

short version of the ranking:

kitty

jessa

jordelia

blackstairs

wessa

clace

but i like oversharing !! so here it's the long version of the ranking lmao 😆

i have a huge problem with tsc main couples, usually because the plot is always some version of "forbidden love" and because it feels like cc is pushing them down my throat w/ the amount of scenes she writes for them.

much like you, jessa and kitty are the only main pairings i enjoy reading about - but i'm lowkey afraid of how different main-couple kitty will be from side-couple kitty (imo cc doesn't know how to write main couples).

1) kitty: this is using their tda dynamic, since we have no idea how they'll be in twp. they were my otp before i got to know thomastair, and i totally agree with everyone who says that they carried tda on their backs.

2) jessa: modern day jessa is probably my biggest comfort ship in tsc - all i need to do is think about them and their children in devon and i'm already smiling. i do have a few issues with tid!jessa: the way i read it, tessa emotionally cheated on jem more than once during their engagement - though i feel like that was cc not being able to not write about will for 5 pages. the cave scene is a big no also affected them, since idk how u can have sex with someone else hours after your fiancee just died. so, even tho i like jessa, they're very far from my number 1 spot - mainly bc of tid!jessa, modern jessa is flawless and they have my whole world 💁🏽‍♀️

now let's get into the other 4 couples, which i classify as boring/annoying.

3) jordelia: i know it seems like i hate jordelia, but i don't : ) they just are the most boring pairing in tlh for me. also, i'm very, very petty and i feel jealous of the amount of scenes jordelia gets in comparison to thomastair, what makes me feel robbed 👁️👄👁️

4) blackstairs: they were okay in the first book, there was the right amount of angst and yearning for me. but after los, everything went down. it was basically like this "oh julian, we can't be together because there's a curse and our entire family die because of it!" "no, emma! i could never risk my siblings' well being! they're my priority!" "you need to stay away from each other!" "yes!" and then they proceeded to have sex. not to mention how blackstairs became emma's entire character and pretty much killed what could've been a very cool main character for me.

5) wessa: they're probably my least favorite pairing, but clace is a whole new set of messed up and that's the only reason why they won't be on last... wessa annoys me more than any other couple. they're cliche, boring and the only memorable scene they have is the cave one, and it's memorable for wrong reasons.

6) clace: to be honest, i don't even remember much of clace and they don't annoy me as much as they did... 5 years ago? but i still remember how i stopped reading tmi on my first try because i absolutely despised them... and, as i said before, they really are very messed up. i saw the "i should punch the boys who want to do to you what i want to do with you" quote today, what's always a good reminder of how tmi books were and why i chose to forget everything non-simon that happened in them.

ps: tho i believe jace/clace are worst than will/wessa, i'm more into the period series, what means that i get reminded more of why i don't like will and wessa, which makes me get more annoyed with them than with jace and clace. does that makes sense?

[sazandorable]

itt can we please talk about all the lowkey, background but hilarious things that happened in magnus canon

because i will never be over

a dude finally being broken out of a box he was stuck in for DAYS to see peter lukas shrug and hand mikaele salesa a £20 note

a few thousand worms in a dress texted jon for weeks about stomach bugs

nikola cheerfully and insistently calling Elias by his first name

tim is known for oversharing to his colleagues about his dating life.

jon goes knocking on the door of a powerful avatar with a multiple body count and gets offered a cup of tea

mannequin in a circus outfit susurrates for an hour into a guy’s ear about how she’s going to flense him and he just continues to unplug her murder drain

mary keay calling her son a weakling for not finishing the job of skinning her

once again, just: everything simon fairchild ever does, in general

naomi herne was told evan lukas had a problem with his heart that was congenital i will never recover from this one

everything about gertrude and explosives tbh

sasha took worms out of jon’s leg with a corkscrew?? this is a thing that happened?? in just season 1??? what the heck is this fandom???????

(mag100 doesn’t count because all of it is centre stage hilarious)

I don’t even have the mental fortitude to get into the absolute circus show that is season 4 right now except for martin being literally too gay for sinister masterplans to function

[mccoys-killer-queen]

@axelandriab​ thank you so much for tagging me in this bc seeing brand new questions I’ve never answered before is like a breath of fresh air

Do you prefer writing in black or blue pen? black

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city? I think about this often and I always used to say city but I’m feeling more country now

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be? guitar... please... if not that then I’d like to speak German fluently...

Do you drink tea/ coffee with sugar? nope (unless you count honey as sugar for tea, then yes)

What was you favourite book as a child? I honestly don’t remember reading books/having books read to me but it was probably Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

Do you prefer baths or showers? I haven’t taken a bath in a good 6 years so I forget what it feels like (I don’t fit in my bathtub anymore... I’m too long) so I gotta say showers by default

If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? either some sort of fairy, nymph, or shapeshifter 

Paper or electronic books? Paper

What is your favourite item of clothing? my denim jacket with all my patches on it

Do you like your name? nope :3) I think Rachel is a very boring, generic, uncreative White Girl name and if I ever get famous (which ain’t gonna happen) I’d totally go by a pen/stage name

Who is a mentor to you? pssh just any of my Rock and Roll Dads (i.e. Joe Elliott, Brian May, Kevin Cronin, Nikki Sixx, etc), I feel like They guide me somehow

Would you like to be famous? famous for something good? Yes. I’m such an extrovert like 60% of the time and I love oversharing and sometimes feel like I’d be good at handling fame. Plus honestly I don’t feel like I’ll be able to survive long in life unless I somehow get famous bc let’s face it I’m never gonna have a “real career” or be satisfied with any job or be able to make a living by constantly working (but then again I don’t have any talent that can make me famous either oops)

Are you a restless sleeper? yeah more often than never :3)

Do you consider yourself a romantic person? aesthetically romantic, sometimes, but I identify as aro. Romance irl just feels wrong, like it doesn’t mix well with me, like when you put a certain metal in water and it explodes

Which element best represents you? Earth? Either earth or water

Who do you want to be closer to? “My favourite musicians ;(” <<stealing this too :c just all the Leppard bois pls

Do you miss someone at the moment? Nope

Tell us about an early childhood memory? I had a computer class in kindergarten, and I remember on the very first day of it, the teacher taught us what a floppy disc was when introducing us to all the parts of a computer. This was in 2006, and I still have yet to use one.

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten? Probably chicken and waffle pringles, but dipped in chili (GOOD)

What are you most thankful for? the money I have in the bank (even tho I try not to touch it), my driver’s license, not having a job right now, my therapist, my music, my hamster, being surrounded by green

Have you ever met anyone famous? Yes, Rick Ray of Sunshine Allen :3 that’s it :’3

Do you keep a diary or journal? Nope, even tho my therapist told me that journaling my thoughts is a big help, I kinda don’t wanna go back to doing that

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil? Pen bc it flows easier

What is your star sign? Pisces

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy all the way, soggy cereal is a HUGE pet peeve of mine

What would you want your legacy to be? someone who was very interesting and did a lot of things

Do you like reading? What was the last book you read? honestly, reading is overrated. Even if the book is good, reading isn’t as hyped up as everyone on this site thinks it is. I do like reading sometimes, but I barely do. I read a lot in high school bc I had so much free time on my hands in class, but outside of school I can’t do it. The last book I read was a reread of The Princess Bride by William Goldman

How do you show someone you love them? *Lisa Simpson staring at plate* ??? Error 405??

Do you like ice in your drinks? yeah but not a lot. Maybe just one or two cubes to keep it cold but not to dilute it a lot

What are you afraid of? being stuck where I am forever, never escaping my family, never finding my path in life, whatever the hell is wrong with my mentality getting worse and impacting my life in a huge way, any health related problems, I could go on :3)

What is your favourite scent? Old Spice

Do you address older people by their name or surname? ...what exactly is this question asking? Depends on how casual I am with them/how well I know them

If money was not a factor, how would your life be different? I would NOT be living here that’s for damn sure :3) I would’ve been to so many different places by now and maybe I’d actually have a real life and actually BE an interesting person

Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools, bc the ocean is too salty and choppy and doesn’t smell as good as chlorine imo

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? “I’d pick it up, and if I saw the person who dropped it, I’d give it back to them” << true but then if i couldn’t find them then I’d probably go buy some records with it and put the change aside into my Concert Fund

What is one thing you’d want to teach your children? honestly I don’t think I’m ever gonna have kids, but I’d want them to understand that gender roles don’t exist, and neither do the opinions of society

If you had to get a tattoo right now, what and where would it be? ...I’m actually getting a tattoo next week... it’s going to be on the side of my right shoulder, a silhouette of a pine tree with an outline of a crescent moon above it

What can you hear now? The sound of the fridge runnin in the room behind me, my mom getting something out of a drawer

Where do you feel the safest? in my bedroom

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? whatever’s fucked up in my head like anxiety and trauma, etc

If you could travel back to any era in time, what would it be? if I had to travel back anywhere and stay there for the rest of my life, I’d probably go back 1979 to see the dawn of the 80s and live through them. If I had to go for a day then I’d probably pick the summer of 1988 or something

What is your most used emoji? probably 🤙

Describe yourself using one word? tough

What do you regret most? not going to see Def Leppard and Journey when they were less than an hour away 2 years ago. Yes, I couldn’t drive back then, so there was really no way I could’ve gotten there and back (and I could’ve BARELY gotten a floor ticket to begin with, it would’ve cost like half the money I had to my name), but with the Stadium Tour being delayed ANOTHER year I feel like 2 years ago was the only chance I’ll ever have had to see my favorite band :c so even though it was basically impossible for me to go, and a lot of the factors of that were out of my control, I still feel like I blew it, and wish I tried literally everything I possibly could’ve done (like just buy the ticket and figure out how to get there later, call everyone I could think of to try and hitch a ride). Even if I did so, there was still a VERY, VERY slim chance that I could’ve ended up going by some goddamned MIRACLE okay I’ll shut up now sorry I’m just still very upset even so much time later

Last movie you saw? in theaters? Rocketman last summer. In general? Uhhhhh I really don’t know, I think it was Love, Simon

Last TV show you watched? on tv? Rick and Morty. In general? I was watching The Young Ones on youtube today

Invent a word and it’s meaning? Scress (we actually made this up like 2 years ago)- it’s a game where you play chess on a Scrabble board while also playing Scrabble

[defendglobe]

the past few days have been particularly brutal since my mom accidentally hit a nerve the other day

we watched love simon together and afterwards my mom was like seriously you should write a book like that but with lesbians and try and publish it bc the world needs more lgbtq rep that isn’t fetishistic or tragic.

writing is a huge fucking sore spot for me. there are about a thousand reasons why and all of them are petty as fuck. you know. my general lack of skill and giving a shit and my being a little bitch about even the most mild criticism (haha i literally stopped writing for like three years bc my 8th grade english teacher ripped me a new one and after that i was too ashamed to write anything) but the biggest one??

my mom is a writer. pretty much everyone who reads her shit goes off about how gifted she is and blah blah blah. i don’t wanna sound like i’m just bitter and jealous over her success because that’s not what the problem is. the problem is that everyone who fuckin knows her like. extends her ability to me if that makes sense. 

for as long as i can remember every time i do anything with writing or public speaking people comment how i take after my mom. “just what i expected from rebecca’s daughter!” or “you’re gonna be a writer someday just like your mom”. it’s exhausting. i love my mom but jesus christ she has some huge shoes to fill and i’ve got tiny little bitch feet. just sucks that people automatically assume that whatever shit i can do is because of whose pussy i got shot out of and not because i have any talent or ability of my own. 

i did a thing at church recently. i’ve pretty much stopped going because it’s too much but family friends wanted to do a pride month service and i felt that i needed to help. i really put myself out there tbh. i wrote the liturgy myself. me and the other two gay ppl in my (former) church basically told our stories. what it’s like being raised christian and being lgbtq. its the most open and honest ive been about shit irl and it rivalled one of my many oversharing posts on tumblr. 

afterwards a lot of people came up to me and said the same shit. “you’ve grown into such a smart young lady like your mom” and the like. my mom was actually kinda unnerved afterwards too because a lot of people came up and thanked her. even though it was well established during the service that it was all me and the other lgbtq people who did everything. 

my mom might be the cause of it all but she does know people do this and tries to fight back a bit. a couple people said shit to her like “wow you raised your daughter well” and she would say “she pretty much raised herself” lol. 

honestly i think that’s what this downwards spiral is about. i put my goddamn heart and soul right out there and people immediately pinned it all on my mom. it stings, ya know?  

“emma if writing is such an issue why the fuck are you an english major” there’s a difference between writing essays and studying literature and actually doing something entirely your own. analysis isn’t a problem for me. 

anyway. i’m just so tired of it all. i try so fucking hard to connect with people but it feels like i can never get there. like talking to people through a glass window. the thought that i’ll stay this isolated and lonely for the rest of my life terrifies me. i have to believe that things will get better but honestly i feel more and more hopeless by the day. how pathetic is it that i see my roommate got engaged and had a two hour breakdown because i wish so badly i could have something like that but knowing that with me the way i am it’s most likely not gonna happen. 

not a single day goes by where i don’t think about killing myself and cutting the humiliation short. i feel utterly unworthy of being alive. i’m so far behind everyone else. college dropout who can’t get a job to save her life and for no good reason. massively in debt, with no future and no fucking friends (you know what’s super humilating? your parents sitting you down at age 21 and telling you that you need to make friends looool). it’s utterly pathetic that i’m so lonely i overshare online because i dont have anyone irl who gives enough of a fuck to hear. 

i’m so fucking tired. i keep trying to believe things will get better and i can change but i’m so hopeless rn.

[digitalcarcrash]

im literally going to THROW UPPPP i need to get on t IMMEDIATELY or i am going to DIE

[goldencos]

░ °◖ the town of 𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐍, 𝐂𝐎 is happy to welcome SIMON! if you could just initial here & here on your lease within the next 8 hours, we can get things rollin’. see you soon ! ↬ BRAEDEN LEMASTERS are now taken.

╰ °● ❬ BRAEDEN LEMASTERS, 23, HE/THEY … you’ve gotta be kidding me, is that SIMON YOUNG ? they’ve been in golden for like, TWO YEARS now but you’d never be able to tell. i’m pretty sure they work at UNHOLY CREATIONS, i always see them there DRAWING DESIGNS through the front window. i heard they have a tendency to OVERSHARE. someone once tried to call them the SCOTT PILGRIM of golden, which i can see because they’re very RESPECTFUL and ENERGETIC, but also a little AWKWARD. if you ask me they remind me more of the WEIRD BAND KID type. anyways, one fact you absolutely need to know about them is that HE CAN PLAY THE PIANO WITH HIS FEET.  ⋰ k, mountain.

[absofrutely]

Oversharing

It was unconventional, but I was able to negotiate the first four months of the job being fully remote, working from home since my wife gave birth to Elijah. I met my coworkers briefly during the interview process and in the first couple of days that I showed up to the office in Israel for orientation, but our communication was primarily through Slack, our internal company chat platform, and through Zoom or Skype, our preferred video conferencing applications. 

When I hit my four month work anniversary, I fully understood what the term “stir-crazy” meant. Cabin fever was another synonym, but after watching yet another movie about a man losing his mind after being confined to a specific area for a long time, I decided to transition to being full time in the office before I completely lost touch with reality. 

Going to Israel for a couple of months would be novel, and I had never worked internationally. I've always wanted that experience before it wasn't feasible, before life got in the way and I'd have to settle for living in the suburbs. Amelia, my wife, wasn't too thrilled, especially being left at home with an infant, but since her mother was visiting for the next six months, she reluctantly let me leave. 

At the office, I technically wasn’t the new guy anymore as four more people were hired after me, but in a way, I kind of was, since I had never worked in the same space as my coworkers. It was an open office plan, no cubicles or offices. I think I read somewhere that the office space was supposed to represent the (lack of) hierarchy in the company. The C-suite sat next to first year analysts, VPs sat next to interns, and I sat next to one of the digital marketing managers. Offices were turned into conference rooms that were only used for meetings or the occasional phone call. 

I liked my coworkers. They were all extremely competent and some of the most professional people I’ve ever met. I knew most of their names, but I couldn't put the names to faces just yet. There was Simon in accounting, Greta, the VP of Finance, Jackie, the engineering manager, and Danielle, the HR lady. 

I was wrapping up some work, so I showed up in the lunchroom around 12:30pm, a little late. For lunch, I microwaved some Campbell’s soup that I found in the company pantry, and while I waited, I snacked on some Keebler’s Cheese and Cheddar Sandwich Crackers. 

My coworkers all walked in with lunch they picked up from McAlister’s Deli, a restaurant down the street. They were in mid-conversation. 

“This morning was really rough. The cramping was so terrible that I felt like lying down on the bathroom floor and never getting up.”

“Honey, you need to get that checked out. I’m pretty sure it’s endometriosis, you know, that condition where your uterine tissues grow outside of your uterus?”

“Well, I definitely have cervical mucus on most days when I’m not ovulating.”

Jackie chimed in excitedly, “I watched some instructional videos last night and I bought a speculum, so I can give you an examination in the conference room later on today. I’ll put some time on your calendar. Free pap smears for everyone!”

I choked on my crackers. 

Four pairs of eyes shot in my direction. 

“Hello everyone,” I said weakly. We exchanged polite hellos and they went back to their conversation. 

David, our CEO, entered the room with fanfare and announced, “Everyone, I’m going to divorce my wife.”

“Back so soon from therapy?” Danielle asked. 

“Today’s session was cut short because I got a call from the school nurse. Jimmy’s got blood in his stools again,” David boomed. 

“Again?” Simon asked, clearly concerned. 

“Well, he might be getting it from his old man. I’m still recovering from last year’s anal fissures,” David chuckled.

Danielle turned her attention to me, “How about you Leopold? How’s your day going so far?”

Feeling the pressure of five expectant pairs of eyes, I stammered, “Great! Traffic getting here wasn’t great, but I made it before my 9am meeting.” 

No one in the room responded. 

I laughed nervously and added, “Uh, and I have a urologist appointment for tomorrow?”

David clapped me on the back and joked, “Getting the snip so soon, eh? We’ve all been there, brother. Gonna be shooting blanks like the rest of us!”

He roared with laughter. 

I relaxed a little, laughing nervously with everyone else. 

“By the way, any fun plans this weekend?” I added. 

Greta burst into tears and ran out of the office wailing. Jackie gave me a disgusted look and chased after her. Everyone else shot a disapproving glance at me. 

Shocked, I retreated back to my desk, not really sure what had happened. I figured I'd leave the soup in the microwave, cut my lunch short and sort things out later. 

It wasn’t even an hour later that I received a meeting invite from Danielle, the HR lady. The invite was called, “Re: This afternoon”. I figured Danielle would clear things up, especially since she must have known how confusing everything must have seemed to me. 

Heading into the meeting, I passed Greta’s desk. She hissed at me, “HR’s gonna crucify you.” Taken aback, I quickened my pace. 

Danielle was sitting in the conference room with a laptop on the desk. I also noticed a manilla folder with print outs that looked like legal documents with clear signature pages. 

It was apparent that she had been crying, her mascara smeared all over her face and her eyes swollen and bloodshot.

Choking back tears, all she was able to utter was, “How could you.”

I didn’t know what to say, simply because I had no idea what was going on. 

“How dare you come into our office and pry into our private lives like this?”

I protested, “Listen, I don’t know what I said, but if I crossed any boundaries, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?! You’re FUCKING SORRY?!” she screamed, hysterical. 

David entered the room, face completely solemn. 

“David, can you please tell me what’s going on?” I pleaded.

David was a linebacker back at the University of Tel Aviv back in his college days, and though he had lost a step and still ate like a college athlete for the last 15 years, he was still 6’5” and by the looks of it, around 285 pounds. 

Without speaking, David opened the conference door for Simon, who struggled to drag in a gigantic wooden cross. The cross being too much for Simon to bear, he passed it off to me, which I accepted reluctantly. 

David locked the door behind him. 

After I was whipped and stripped naked, they forced me to march to the cafeteria while carrying the cross, which was well over 150 pounds. 

While David held me down, Danielle placed a crown of thorns on my head. I shrieked as the needles pierced my skin, blood running the side of my nose, obscuring my vision. 

The onlookers shook their heads at me, spitting at me with fury and vitriol. 

While nails were being driven through my hands, I caught a glimpse of my wife smirking, holding our four month old son, Elijah. 

She called out at me, “Think you could leave me at home with a four month old and my mother with dementia?”

“Think again.” 

She thrust a spear in my side and as I screamed, she crammed a bottle of wine vinegar into my open mouth. 

One of the interns poked his head into the lunchroom to see what was going on, took an AirPod out of one ear, took a look at my bloody face, put the AirPod back in his ear, and immediately retracted his head. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing he hadn’t seen before.

[the-retired-tuba-jesus]

tag!

thanks for tagging me @tuba-holy-spirit so i can overshare about my life to strangers, which is my hobby!

i tag @realdonaldtrumpet, @drumline-jesus, @saxo-sexual, and uhh anyone else who wants an excuse to Overshare™ 

relationship status: dating for once in my life lmao

favorite color: blue or green! i associate colors with people, places, and personalities, and i associate both with good things

lipstick or chapstick: i dont use either

last song i listened to: africa by toto (don’t judge me it’s the best song ever)

last movie i watched: the rainmaker, which is full of so much nostalgia for me

top three shows: i don’t really watch proper tv but i really love gayle waters-waters, the gay and wondrous life of caleb gallo, and cracked’s after hours (all are web series on youtube and i recommend all of them!!!!)

top three characters: hector of troy, one of my ocs if that counts, and freckle

last book read: i just finished pacific by simon winchester and am reading spqr by mary beard now, both are really good!!

one hobby: anthropology! i hope to make it a career someday

favorite time of day: really early in the morning, when the sun’s just risen and it feels like you’re the only thing awake besides the birds

coffee shop / cafe order: i dont drink coffee or tea so i’ll usually just get a hot chocolate if i can

favorite childhood movie: this direct-to-video movie about a border collie sheepdog named Misty, which was also its name

favorite holiday and why: halloween! the whole town really comes together for it and also i grew up on tumblr

question i’d like to add: attach a selfie! im not gonna but i want to see y’alls faces

[toothsoup]

tagged by: @lizard-boot-camp you fricking nerd 

rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people 

my tags: if i tag the same ppl as skye do i die uhhhh anyway - @tiredluigi @thevocamon @pixelzarya @pixelmei @what-the-birb @the-wind-whistler @moonybear @the-ghosty-king @democraccy @mysticeagleconnoisseur @wronginallthewrightways @meesawannadie @international-spacestation @shuck-you-lightworm @xingniu @ppeachier @adumbrat-e @xavierfieldiezz @catsatellite @mameihua

THE LAST:

1. Drink: good ole water 

2. Phone call: @trxnquilvibes

3. Text message: uhhhh texting lola abt space

4. Song you listened to: mango kimono by ljones

5. Time you cried: like 2 hours ago 

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: ya

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: yep

10. Been depressed : lol 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: grey, pale yellow, periwinkle

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yep!!!

16. Fallen out of love: :/

17. Laughed until you cried: definitely

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yep lol like last week

19. Met someone who changed you: yes!!!

20. Found out who your friends are: a few ig

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: uhhh all but like 4?

23. Do you have any pets: my angel marshmallow kitty baby rory, a yorkie named piper, and a betta named skye!

24. Do you want to change your name: g od yes

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i went 2 a pub w my parents and cried and then my dad moved out the next day

26. What time did you wake up: 11:39

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i was either skyping kill or watching barakamon

28. Name something you can’t wait for: death?? wow edgy but uhhh rn i want my amazon order so bad lol

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like 2 hours ago 

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i was a successful and motivated neurotypical who loved myself

31. What are you listening to right now: in your arms by saib

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my back is killing me??

34. Most visited website: my grades portal and ao3 lol

35. Mole/s: uh….more than 40

36. Mark/s: i have a birthmark on my thigh and in the middle of my back, matching scars from dance on each ankle, weird but not matching scars on my hands/wrists (a fire ant bite and an oven burn lol), a scar all the way down my stomach from where i tried to climb a fence, a scar on my scalp from where imy friend dropped me on my head, a scar on my lip from hitting my chin on a toilet seat when i was little, and like a dent near my eye from a wasp sting. also just weird acne scars n KP scars on my arms n legs, wow i love oversharing

37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a doctor/pharmacist lmao that was my parents fault tho

38. Hair color: naturally dark brown, almost black but rn its dark red

39. Long or short hair: short

40. Do you have a crush on someone: :3

41. What do you like about yourself: idk i seem to be able to make people laugh and i like my handwriting 

42. Piercings: two in each earlobe

43. Blood type: O negative i t??Hink???

44. Nickname: baz, nate, ghost, goose, ghoot

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: pisces

47. Pronouns: they/them

48. Favorite TV Show(s): steven universe, american dad lol, oitnb, idk man i waste so much time watching shows

49. Tattoos: not yet

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: uhh i had ear tubes when i was like 4

52. Hair dyed in different color: 4 times so far

53. Sport: irish dance n marching band/guard

55. Vacation: like…the last one?? uhh i was just in michigan and indiana for camp/grandparents

56. Pair of trainers: uhh i like a lot of shoes they’re my weakness but i have cool grey skechers i just got that r really light and i like them

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: i ate lo mein earlier ?

58. Drinking: apple juice in like 5 seconds

59. I’m about to: go to bed hopefully

61. Waiting for: before the storm, my goddamn amazon order, my class schedule, voltron season 3

62. Want: too much

63. Get married: mixed feelings

64. Career: editing or architecture 

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs or like…not lip kissing 

66. Lips or eyes: uhhh eyes

67. Shorter or taller: shrug

68. Older or younger: shrug

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: idk what nice refers to uh

71. Sensitive or loud: both

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: both

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: yes

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yeah whoops

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on the first date: no

79. Broken someone’s heart: gosh i hope not

80. Had your heart broken: sorta

81. Been arrested: almost but luckily no

82. Cried when someone died: i cried about someone who died 3 years ago yesterday so yeah

83. Fallen for a friend: all the fucking time

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: lol funni

85. Miracles: i dunno anymore

86. Love at first sight: sorta

87. Santa Claus: i kinda wish but no

88. Kiss on the first date: i mean idc??

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: im listing multiple bc?? its complicated okay?? simon, emily, ryan, kill, gail, abby, megan. 

91. Eye color: brown and not even a nice brown 

92. Favorite movie: me and earl and the dying girl or scott pilgrim vs the world

[cherubikscube]

Tag, tagged by @serendipitous-fate and YES i looove doing these even though nobody i tag does them ... i just like oversharing though so i'm not mad tbh Answer the questions and tag 20 followers you would like to get to know better! —————– Name: Benjamin Nicknames: Ben, Benny, Benson/(Deuces), Benzo, Beeson, Benzazepine which I can't remember how to spell but I've been called it probably ONCE but it was funny because i'm pretty sure it's used in antidepressants (don't dare quote me on that i don't have a PhD) Zodiac Sign: I have a Cancer sun sign which is usually accurate for me. Height: 5'4"ish.... we don't talk about it. Orientation: shit boi ..... i'm mostly asexual but i usually just say i'm bisexual because i like all genders it's just the -sexual part that's a bit confusing for me Ethnicity: Sour Cream Favorite Fruit: Probably blueberries or just berries in general and I loooove smoothies .... with any fruit to be honest Favorite Season: Fall Favorite Book: I don't have one, but I recently read Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda which I really liked, as well as Liars, Inc. I read a poetry book called Prelude to Bruise a while ago and it was really good!!! Favorite Flowers: No idea but I like those tiny flowers that are white. Favorite Color: Pink?? A peachy shade of it anyway. I also like white. And blue. And mustard yellow. Favorite Animal: Hedgehogs and hamsters Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: Tea because I love coffee but it heightens my anxiety sometimes so I must proceed with caution in that realm Average Sleep Hours: 6-8 hours usually, especially lately because I get up early even on the weekends which fucking kills me,,,, I can sleep 13 hours easy if I can. Cat or Dog Person: Cat because I've only ever had a cat and I'm her #1 fan... Favorite Fictional Character: Hnnnnnnnnnng ........ omg...... Garnet from Steven Universe is one. Number of Blankets I sleep with: 1 to 3,, my room is always FREEZING especially this time of the year so I get really cold at night. Ideal trip: Honestly anywhere..... with my friends Blog Created: I have no idea I probably made this one in 2014 —————- I'm just gonna tag a shit ton of people, do it if you want!! @depressioncherry @amayathefeministwitch @lavishxoxo @conkeldurrs @garbagebagsociety @petitelibra @660feet @charcoalvoid @staticnomadic @its-ur-hoe @officialbootypolice @caeruleandrew @troydelbae @sadsickloudmind @its-all-too-loud-at-night @chronic-interlude @omanu @choke-mesoftly @the-heart-of-jess @fuckmebobross

[echoresonance]

I was tagged by @intense-memeroni to do this ask meme a few days ago but had shit wifi until now

Nickname: Danny, Asshole, D, Daniel

Star Sign: Aquarius

Height: 5'2″, 5′3″ if I think “tall”

Time right now: 1:44 pm PST.

Favorite Musical Artist: Bruh how is this a question anybody can answer? I guess Fallout Boy, ACDC, Joan Jett, and...uh, fuck, idk. I listen to things by song mostly guys, I’m pretty sure some of my fave songs I don’t even know the artist. Oh, I really like Simon Curtis as well at the moment

Song stuck in your head right now: Shitty christmas music that won’t go away. I dunno what it’s called

Last movie you watched: Stick It. Good shit, very good shit. The main character gives me life

Last TV show you watched: Yuri!!! on Ice

What are you wearing right now: slytherin sweatpants and a slytherin tanktop. My loungewear of choice for do-nothing days

When did you create your blog: i don’t know. a few years ago.

What kind of stuff do you blog: eclectic mishmash of chaos. Lots of fandom stuff, rants, occasional current events/issues

Do you have other blogs: I have a witchcraft-themed blog that I am very bad at keeping up with @confusedspellcaster

Do you get asks regularly: Very very rarely. I’d love more--flood my inbox you guys, I’m lonely and quite prone to oversharing. Seriously, I’d love to talk to more of you. Especially if we’re mutuals! 

Why did you choose your URL: I don’t really know. I think the first time I ever used this url was when I was first getting into Soul Eater with the whole “soul resonance” thing, and I’m like “Hey this would sound cool,” and I just started using it for everything. Easy to keep track of that way

Hogwarts House: Slytherin. Through and through, by dozens of comprehensive quizzes, third party input, input from friends, and personal opinion. Green and silver for life

Gender: No

Pokémon team: Team memelord. Instinct all the way Favorite Color: dark red or a deep, rich gold. I like a good, dark forest green too

Average hours of sleep: I dunno. Sometimes I go around two days without sleeping, or I’ll get a couple hours, or I’ll conk out for twelve. There’s no pattern.

Dream job: novelist/editor with enough money to not worry about rent and food and occasionally buying nice things for me and others

Cutest baby animals: Oh this is just cruel. I like baby echidnas, they’re great. Puggles. Baby echidnas are called puggles