#the show itself never goes into detail about her struggles as a neurodivergent person

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

I like how Watching and Dreaming trailer teased everyone with nightmares, and everyone thought it’s gonna be a big deal. Thousands of fan arts where Luz and Hunter replay Wittebane’s story. And then it’s just 2 minutes of nothing. They just once again show this thing where Luz thinks she’s as bad as Belos because she gave him the light glyph. What a disappointment.

I noticed that all of the fan art of Luz dressed up as Belos dropped drastically after the finale. Honestly, I sometimes forget the nightmare sequence was even in it, that's how little of an impact it had on both plot and character development.

Luz thinks her friends hate her but this was already resolved in Thanks to Them and her palisman hatched in the previous episode after she claims to wanting to be understood. Does Stringbean help at all with Luz's fears of her friends hating her? Does Luz have some kind of epiphany that she isn't really like Belos (which is a narratively stupid thing for her to agonize over for 3 episodes) thus breaking her free from the nightmare? No, it's an Azura reference.

So Luz can accept that her girlfriend secretly hates her but that same girlfriend would never in a million years misquote their favorite book series.

That's not as heartwarming as some people think it is.

It wasn't the words and actions of her friends that convinced her that her fears were unfounded. It wasn't her mom's heartfelt confession that made her realize that her mistakes do not make her like her greatest enemy. No, it was a pop culture reference and the Titan telling her she's a "good witch" that made her realize this.

This just makes her come off as self-centered.

[annalebeaus]

The way comics never really delve into the mental side of Rogue’s powers is something that bothers me and because of that a lot of people still don’t realize how much they affect her. The struggle Rogue has with her powers is one of the main reasons why I love her so much because it is something that makes her so relatable. Her character has always been very neurodivergent coded and I wish comics actually took the time to explore that but since they didn’t (yet) I thought I would make a small explanation post for all of us to appreciate her.

I’m sure all of you know this by now but let’s start with the basics. Rogue’s mutant power is absorbing people. She can absorb memories, life force and (if they have any) powers. The longer she absorbs someone, the stronger the absorption is -which can even lead to a coma. She used to do it by touch and couldn’t touch anyone because of it but in Mr. & Mrs. X her powers evolved and she can now absorb people from a certain distance.

A really important detail in Rogue’s power is that the psyches of the people she absorbs (think of it like a copy of them) remains inside her mind and sometimes if the absorption is strong, they can even take control of her body.

Rogue’s powers first showed themselves when she was just a child. Not only she accidentally put the first boy she kissed to a coma but she also took on his psyche. What happened is traumatizing enough (and it shows itself through her romantic life, the way she always keeps pushing Remy away) but the overlooked psyche part? There is something so tragic about the fact that Rogue started absorbing people so young because now, as a grown up, she can never know or be sure of who she would be without her powers affecting her or how much of her decisions were really her own. She lost her childhood and perhaps herself that day with a single kiss.

After this Rogue runs away from home and gets adopted by Mystique and Destiny. Now we all know her moms love her but they didn’t really raise her in a healthy environment. They used her powers and considering the people they were fighting with, I’m pretty sure the people Rogue absorbed weren’t all that nice.

The first person Rogue absorbs completely and takes powers of permanently is Carol Danvers. After that incident, Rogue goes to X-Men for help to get control.

Rogue (2001) is a really good comic that focuses on that time period and we actually get to see what inside of her mind looks like & what she goes through on the daily.

Xavier tries to help her but it is exhausting to put a single brick, yet alone build an entire wall to keep out the voices.

She eventually gets better control but people she absorbed still affects her without her even realizing from going to another city to make sense of what’s going on to something as simple as a dessert choice.

Like I also said at the beginning; the people she absorbed can get control of her body without her consent as well.

It is terrifying to think about it. Absorbing everyone’s memories (good and bad) and having to live with them, having nightmares, having them change you in small and big ways, be in constant fear of them taking control of you… it is a lot.

I didn’t even touch on her touching problem but with all this, it is obvious control is the most important thing to her. It has to be, because without it, she is in danger of losing herself. So what could be even worse?

Yup. Like I mentioned at the beginning, in Mr. & Mrs. X her powers evolve.

And yes later on she learns how to get control but it is important to add that she never got perfect control. She has to make a conscious effort of stop herself to absorb others at every second (ex. Remy asking if she is in control before getting close and Laura being able to give her healing powers to her via touch when Rogue was unconscious in the last Captain Marvel arc)

All of these here doesn’t even touch the surface. Rogue is a very complex character even though people don’t even realize it -which I don’t blame them for because a lot of media and comics only portray her as a flying, invulnerable, super strong superhero without any actual emotional storytelling-. Rogue struggles constantly with mental health and her emotions.

Now this part is just me headcanoning because there is no confirmation or whatever from Marvel (and honestly its a little bit me making up excuses) but I always thought of Rogue’s short-temper, the lack of emotion and cold behaviour related to this. Especially considering how in Mr. & Mrs. X they show her lose control when she feels extreme fear (I think it can apply to any other emotion as well), that cold facade is how she has to be. But like I said, this is just something I theorized that I wish Marvel would confirm but honestly? I don’t really see it happening.

I’m ending this post with one of my favourite Rogue moments that showcases how strong she actually is from Rogue & Gambit (2018).

So yes, Rogue is amazing and the absolute best superhero to me. She is also one of the strongest not because of her powers but because she goes through this (and more) every day and yet still chooses to be kind and good and it is just… so incredibly inspiring.

[labyrinthus-magici]

🔥!!!

Was looking at my muse list to think of something that stood out but since I couldn’t pick one I’ll just go w something that affects a lot of them but anyway like 

As an autistic person I personally thing the large majority of the magi/snb cast is autistic coded! The fandom as a whole (although it’s not just the magi fandom tbf it’s kind of all of them I’ve been in) ignores that a lot! 

I have seen autistic Judar before which is VALID but it’s really frustrating when Judar and Morgiana are the only two you see (and Mor as an afterthought) bc they’re the ones with the more “stereotypical” traits (i.e Judar being antisocial/struggling with empathy which is probably due to trauma and not even his autism considering that. studies show that it’s allistic people who lack empathy for autistic people usually and not the other way around but I digress!) and I’ve been told that other characters who are autistic coded can’t be bc they’re like idk??? competant lmfao??? I don’t get when allistic people say a character can’t be autistic bc im like lmao good to know you know every autistic experience and trait! Maybe you can educate me on my own disorder that you don’t have bc you clearly know so much about it that you couldn’t possibly be overlooking something! 

Anyway my muses that I intentionally play as autistic and some of their main traits are bellow the cut bc it’s lengthy (The others I’m probably going to accidentally autistic code bc I. am autistic and it affects my writing but ahiodfhg)

Morgiana: Mor is a pretty obvious one, although I do love her autistic coding! So like most of these characters but with Mor esp you have to keep in mind that she canonly has c-ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder but when it’s not a single traumatic event but living long term in a traumatic environment such as an abusive home or any other variation) so that affects how many of her autistic traits present themselves. I do think that she’s become very good at masking (i.e hiding autistic traits) due to them being punished and because of that she is exhausted because masking is very taxing. I think that she started to unlearn this considerably once she joined the caravan with Leila’s encouragement but it was subtle bc while she did become close with Leila and Sahsa she didn’t open up entirely. 

Once she gets to Sindria though and starts opening up I think that she’ll relax a lot because she can see others with the same traits who don’t have to hide them. Masrur especially points out that it’s important for her to stim and because she’s not the only one who deos this, everyone is understanding and accommodating at times when she’s non verbal/not able to speak.  

One thing that really stood out to me about Mor is her hyperempathy. Because she doesn’t talk much, it’s hard for some people to pick up on, but Morgiana often has strong feelings of empathy for others. At first this is something that she struggles with, because it’s something that others have taken advantage of and used to hurt her, and because she’s afraid of her emotions as a whole. Later though, she learns that this can be her strength. Morgiana’s most powerful moments (in my opinion) like when she rescued Nadja, when she confronts Alibaba about the consequences of what the fog troupe is doing, and many other instances, are very emotionally charged. She’s also the first to empathize with the pirates that Madaura has brainwashed, and is able to get the others to empathize with them too. 

Morgiana was my first favorite magi character (the reason I even got into magi in the first place tbh) bc it was so empowering to see someone with many of my traits in an empowering role of a hero because of those traits and not just with them as an afterthought! 

Masrur: I’m going to focus on snb just because that’s what I’m more familiar with as I haven’t read the parts of magi that Masrur is spotlighted in in a long time although honestly all of this stuff applies to Masrur later but it presents itself differently because whilst autistic people never grow out of their traits, just like anything in a person, it changes and becomes more nuanced as a person gets older and gets more experience. 

But Masrur is another autistic coded character! A lot of his traits can technically be explained away by canon/plot details however in this house we don’t  think that because there’s technically an argument against autistic headcanons that it’s at all valid so ANYWAY 

To start we have the way he sees himself as different from others, the way he goes to sit by himself because he feels like he can’t fit in with everyone, how he’s not like them, how he’s just a monster with a single purpose that’s already been fulfilled. Normally, I wouldn’t count this exactly as an autistic trait however Hinahoho is the one that comes to talk to him because he can relate to this experience which is autistic coded so! One thing that’s a common experience in autistic people is feeling quite literally inhuman, usually in the form of an alien, fairy, or fictional character (as it was in my case). This is becuase of the isolation that we normally face in childhood. For Masrur, he feels different from the others, like who he is isn’t someone that would be wanted and that’s something that I can relate to quite strongly. It’s not until he comes to the Sindria trading company, a place full of Neurodivergent coded characters (the ones that aren’t autistic coded are coded as other disorders as well such as ADHD and BPD among others I don’t think there’s actually one person  there who’s neurotypical considering that. The entire theme of the Sindria trading company is that they take in people who are outcasts and in need of help and usually those people tend to be ND.) that he comes to realize that he does belong and that he is valued. 

In addition to that we do see him stimming or doing stim like behaviors at times, he sometimes is talkative and others seems mostly or entirely non verbal, he tends to misunderstand social queues, struggles with subjects that he’s not interested in, etc. 

I think it’s super important to take into account Masrur’s autistic coding because Masrur gets to be HAPPY. Like, yes, he does experience a lot of traumatizing things, but by the end of Magi he still has his family, he’s happilly married and a good father. These are things that people think autistic people can’t have or don’t deserve, and we never get to experience this things in character’s that are canonly autistic. So for me seeing an autistic coded character with such a positive development was something really positive, it’s the same way for a lot of these characters, seeing so many autistic coded characters getting the development that the deserved was what drew me to magi inittially if I’m perfectly honest. I didn’t know it at the time bc I had no idea I was autistic until last year (coincidentally from autistic friends also from this fandom!) but it really was what drew me in. 

Hinahoho: Oh God where do I even START with autistic icon Hinahoho? I think, out of any snb characters Hinahoho is the most heavily autistic coded. Like there is literally no other explanation for his character I can think of whenever I see him I get so happy bc I’m like!!! Yes!!!! Autistic dad!!! I love him!!!  

His backstory first and foremost focuses on his separation from the rest of the people in his tribe because he has unconventional interests (art!!) and that he isn’t able to pass the test and become and adult at the proper time. To start, being a “late bloomer” in things (or alternatively doing things too soon in some cases) is a common autistic experience. A lot of us due to many reasons (mostly due to ableism and lack of accommodations) we aren’t able to do the things that our peers do at the same times like drive, attend college, or move out of the house etc. This isn’t a lack of competence just that we aren’t able to go about things in a way that we are able to thrive in, and this is exactly what Hinahoho’s development highlights! He never does pass the warrior’s test in the way that is most traditional, instead Sinbad (whose an Adhd ND icon if you ask me but I haven’t added him to my muse list yet so aidofhg more on him and the other adhd icons in this series later ahidofhg) mentions how there’s multiple ways to be strong, how he doesn’t have to do things the same way as everyone else to be worth something. 

There’s also the ableism that he faces from others in his tribe. In addition to judging him for not having become a warrior yet, he is bullied by others and treated like a child when he shouldn’t be. The others are so unkind to him for being “different” and “weird” and having “a personality like a fish left to dry” (WHATEVER THAT’S EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN LMAO I STILL DONT GET IT) that in his introduction he starts sobbing bc Sinbad said thank you to him like. Like God can I relate to this, honestly his experiences though not exactly the same as my own deeply resemble how I was before I found out that I’m autistic. 

Then, after he learns to love and accept himself and marries Rurumu (Oh!! That’s another thing, people acted like he was unlovable but Rurumu always loved him. He never had to change who he was or mask his autistic traits and that’s SO important because honestly I can’t even imagine someone who isn’t also autistic wanting me romantically especially when I see shit about people taking autistic people to homecoming and calling it “inspiring” and “selfless” and a “learning experience”) he then turns around and teaches others to do the same. I noticed that he becomes very close to both Drakon and Masrur who are both autistic coded and he helps teach them to love themselves like??? LIKE???? and with Masrur he literally points out that he can empathize so points for hyperempathy again. I’m loving how many magi characters have hyperempathy that is ultimately good. Bc it’s usually a weakness in character’s that have it. 

Drakon: Honestly once again idek where to start when his entire development is deeply autistic coded but we’ll start with his backstory. So to start there’s the power imbalance between him and his (neurotypical) siblings. Whilst he is the youngest, I think that the reason that he’s unfavored in the family and is the one always catching shit is because he’s autistic. This is something that happens so often is that when an autistic child has allistic siblings the allistic one is favored or if not favored they definetely get treated better because autistic children are particularly vulnerable and easy to manipulate. With Drakon’s childhood, although again the circumstances in my case aren’t exactly the same, I really am seeing my past self. 

He was from a young age branded as a prodigy, told he was already basically an adult even though he was still a child, and this is so common with autistic children who show a semblance of talent in something. However, he isn’t praised for this in a healthy encouraging way, instead he’s given the responsibilities and expectations of an adult already. In addition to that, he is conditioned to mask his autistic traits, in addition to being taught to devote his entire self to his cause. The fact that he internalized everything so deeply that he had a breakdown when he realized that he wasn’t wanting to die for his cause, that he thought he had to follow everything to the letter all the way down to his deepest feelings, is in my opinion an autistic trait as I showed exactly the same traits for other matters, internalizing things at the same intensity. He social scripts quite a bit, meaning that he has a strong sense of “this is how things SHOULD be so if they AREN’T this way then everything is in RUINS and we have to fix it IMMEDIATELY” he has the roles he’s been given and he strongly believes that everyone else has a role. This does become far more healthy once he’s unlearned the toxic things that he was taught but he still does it, but in a healthy way. Everyone has a role to fulfill, and he’s strict about this, when people aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be becomes irritable and struggles to keep functioning as normal. 

Then there’s the fact that his entire development is learning as a teenager that he’s become a monster, literally in this case, learning that he is hated so much that he resolves to leave his humanity behind, only to gain love and acceptance and learn to love himself in the form that he takes. While I don’t think every monster is autistic coded (as that would be problematic for obvious reasons) developments like this resemble our experiences so well? It’s a perfect metaphor for what it’s like, honestly. 

One reason I think that it’s important for me personally to acknowledge Drakon’s autistic coding is because he’s a strong leader and people think that autistic people cannot be leaders, that we’re incompetent. So to see a character with my traits be someone noble, to become king even, and to thrive is something super positive for me because again it’s something that people think we cannot do that we cannot have but we really can. 

Leila, Sahsa, & Nadja: With these three it’s mostly projecting just because we don’t see enough of them for them to really be that autistic coded HOWEVER tis my blog and you get to hear all my hcs asdfgh. I like to hc these three as autistic 1. bc Leila and Sahsa’s relationship is beautiful, and to contextualize that as a romance between two autistic women is really nice for me who as I mentioned before struggles to ever see myself having a love like that. 2. Leila and Sahsa take to Morgiana and encourage growth in her and I like the idea of them helping her to relax a little on hiding her autistic traits. 3. Because as an autistic person it’s difficult for me to interpret characters as not autistic (where not autistic is other’s defaults for me autistic is the default, so it would be more accurate for me to say I have some allistic headcanons rather than autistic ones lmao) I actually started headcanoning Leila as autistic by accident because I wrote a fic where she had a shutdown (which is when there’s too much stimulants i.e sound or sights etc. and we have to go lay down and rest and shut out the stimulants that are bothering giving us sensory overload.) and was like oh!! Time to make both her and Sahsa autistic bc who’s gonna stop me lmao. 

Also one headcanon I have for Nadja (in addition to her joining Leila and Sahsa’s caravan with her family) is that after Morgiana rescued her she developed a special interest in adventure and heroism which is really cute on one hand bc she always wants to learn stories of heroes from the locals of the places they visit and her parents are like aw she’s talkative sometimes! She’s making friends!!! But on the other hand she tags along on Leila and Sahsa’s “oops lmao just fought an entire band of thieves again” adventures and is that “Let me see what you have!” “A KNIFE!!” “NO!!!” vine so ahidfohg be careful u fuckin superb lil baby. 

Myron: Hers is a bit shorter since we don’t have a whole lot of her in canon, but her strict following of perceived social standards and social scripting makes me headcanon her as autistic. I also like the idea of her being autistic because so often people think that we can’t be proper or socially conscious but more often than not we overcompensate, the deal is that we struggle to understand neurotypical social cues not that we hate socializing. 

Titus: Oh man I shouldn’t have put him so far down on my muse list bc this one is going to be lengthy. There’s a reason whenever I info dump about my son to people that I always call him Autistic Gay Icon Titus Alexius.  

I’ll start with the fact that he struggles in social settings, i.e Sphintus thinking he’s so fuckin awkward at first. (Even tho I hc Sphintus as autistic too but like I said autistic is the default for me ahidfg) He has a special interest in magic, evidently, and is very info dumpy about it as times (though not as much as notable autistic icons Yamuraiha and Ugo). Also his best friends are Sphintus and autistic adhd icon Aladdin so like. Convenient. that the three most autistic coded kids at school becomes besties. asdfgh. Also none of the 4 magi are allistic tbh. 

ANYWAY that aside and glossing over the whole separation he feels from the others (which I could go into length but it’s similar to Drakon and Masrur’s and Hinahoho’s deal and this is getting so long already oof) can we just talk about how fucking POSITIVE his Hyper-Empathy is for his character and the story? 

Okay so like. Let’s start with the 5th district, how after just a little while there he immediately jumped into action with LMAO TIME TO BLOW A HOLE IN THE SKY IM BUSTING EVERYONE OUT LADS. Like. Was it dumb? Yes. Was it noble and valid? YES! And he STILL SHOWED UP TO CLASS READY TO FIGHT THE NEXT DAY. He also tried to call out Mogamett how many times? And still stood his ground with the 5th district, even when Mogamett tried to manipulate him by saying he only cared out of his selfish desire to befriend Marga, he immediately analyzed himself critically and came to the conclusion that no, he really just wanted everyone there to be safe and happy. 

Then, when he goes to Reim and Just. Hhhhhh HE’S SO GOOD. AND HE HAS SO MUCH EMPATHY. The fact that he immediately begins changing things, is firm in that, but his main motivation is that he so desperately wants everyone to be safe and to live happily, the fact that his people’s problems are by extension his own because he feels real pain when others feel it. That’s hyper empathy and though it’s something that can be manipulated he doesn’t let that happen, he uses it for good! 

When he gives his speech about why they need to abolish slavery in Reim asap, he begins to cry and exclaims that any one of them could die tomorrow, that they need to priooritize the people that are in the now who are suffering that they have the power to help their people and to liberate their country and appeals to everyone’s emotions that way and breaks through. Also the other changes he makes?? Like making the Colosseum into a LARPing spot? That’s so fucking good? What a nerd? I love him???? 

I can go into more detail with Titus but for time reasons I won’t but. We stan Autistic Gay Icon Titus Alexius here. 

If you read all of this I love you sm thank you for reading this rambly mess. ahdiogfg