#the show is so inconsistent it loops right back around to being thematic in the most accidental of ways

[pizzaboat]

Phoebe is accidentally a complex character?? Friends? Hit and miss show. Not the most tightly written, Ross and Rachel got together somehow in the end. But Phoebe's transition from a somewhat ditzy, altruistic and empathetic person, to a manipulative, selfish and callous person (at times) makes sense.

She's got the most complex trauma of the group, but the least support and acknowledgement. She's on the outside, both metaphorically and physically, Rachel mentioning that Phoebe lifts right out of the group and it wouldn't change anything

All the characters have their issues, family trauma or romantic drama, but it's palatable and you can show it on a sit-com without branching too closely into dark humor. Exploring all of Phoebe's issues would change the tone of the show and the tone of the lives of the characters in the group

So the characters and the show treat all the Phoebe weirdness and dark references as "Okay Phoebe." Moments. There's a tone of awareness for all the odd shit from Phoebe's family where the show let's you know it views Phoebe's family as a bunch of freaks and the joke is that Phoebe doesn't see that or doesn't care about that

But imagine you're in a friend group where all your biggest problems and traumas are too much for your friends, but yet you're hearing about your friend Rachel and your friend Ross for the millionth time

And how hard their relatively easy lives are, to yours. Even your more emotionally messed up friends like Monica and Chandler don't get it, and their lives look like dreams compared to your own.

They had parents and homes, no matter how dysfunctional, they never had to weigh up the pros and cons of sleeping with a homeless man for food

Because you will make references to torture, suicide and family members in jail, and they can all only ignore it or look at you like it's so sad, or too much to listen to

You're gonna resent those friends and say... become bitter, like later seasons Phoebe is. It makes sense that during Phoebe's pregnancy she starts tearing people new ones, and tells Rachel that no one gives a shit about her and Ross because there ARE bigger problems

Those are Phoebe's thoughts, she's just on a shorter fuse and that fuse gets shorter as the show goes on. I think Phoebe becomes more aware of how on the outside she really is, and feels less remorse about engaging in manipulative habits like Ursela to get what she wants, or to lead her oblivious and stubborn friends to the realisations they need

Like showing Rachel she actually did want the baby by lying about the second pregnancy test being negative, or when she manipulated Monica into agreeing to host thanks giving in season 10 by identifying what makes Monica tick and weaponising it

By the time Phoebe and Mike are getting married, Phoebe is at her highest point of wanting something good for herself. I think she leans so heavily into doing the right thing and depriving herself for cosmic karma, because she wants to believe she's okay, and she surrounds herself with weirdness and odd friends outside of the cast because she wants to believe she isn't as messed up as she feels

That what happened was bad, but she isn't too affected by it, and she can prove that by depriving herself of normalcy continously until she reaches her limit. Because Phoebe is not an accepting person by season 10. The show itself had taken a more conservative and judgmental tone a long time ago, but Phoebe had actually grown very close minded in a lot of ways

So I don't believe she's just open minded for the sake of open mindedness. She was just leaning back on familiar habits and situations on the side

And so when Mike and her have the choice for a normal wedding, she jumps on it with little prodding from Monica, and Phoebe demands the money back from a charity her and Mike donated to a children's charity

And Phoebe gets angry and defends her actions against the charity worker when he tries to guilt them afterwards. Her main argument being that she deserves a normal wedding after a shit life. She then reveals a traumatic experience that Mike attempts to comfort her for after in the cafe

(Note I think this is the first time anyone has acknowledged what Phoebe has said about her past and said she didn't deserve it)

Mike is up for whatever Phoebe wants, and supports her, if she wants to do the "moral thing" and not have the big wedding she secretly wants, or if she wants to march back to the charity and do a "selfish deed", he doesn't make Phoebe feel bad either which way about it.

I think that's why she's the closest to her season 1 self with him. She's acted in a softer manner, especially around the wedding. But that's a whole tangent.

Phoebe likely became friends with the other friends because there was something inside of her that recognised she wanted normal, even if she was telling herself she was fine. They were not the kind of people she would've befriended when she was younger, she's said that herself, and eventually she grows to resent them a little as she gets older and a little colder

Because their normalcy both frustrates and fascinates her, because she can't breech it with the experiences she has, she can't relate an anecdote to one of their pasts, the same way one of them could do to another person

And she even makes jokes about that too. Where she'll be like "this reminds me of the time when-" and she'll say something crazy messed up, and one of the friends will be like "that's nothing like what happened to me." And she'll shrug and nod, and the laugh track will play, or she'll say "exactly, its nothing like that, because that was a real problem."

The only person Phoebe seems to sit at a middle ground with is Joey, and I think that's because Joey never really makes her feel weird, and he's just strange himself and his life direction is quite pathetic. He's kind and has a good heart. He's just sorta there in season 10 as well

But for the rest of the characters, Phoebe's fascination probably turned to mild bitterness and frustration in later seasons, which would explain her change in behaviour through the seasons

An example of this is in season 1s thanks giving vs season 10s thanks giving. In season 1

Phoebe has the empathy to look guilty and sad when Monica starts crying and hyperventilating over the ruined dinner as she explains how used and underappreciated she feels

And after more yelling starts with the group, you can see Phoebe yelling at Ross in the background, looking like she's getting between him joining the rest of the group who are arguing with eachother and Monica.

I think she looked guilty and then had the sense to back Monica up (because that was also Phoebe's first thanks giving with friends and Monica saying that stuff about how it was her first likely soarked empathy and guilt)

(and for contrast to change and cruelty Chandler makes fun of Monica and tells her only dogs can hear her noise)

But by season 10, Phoebe has no remorse or guilt about manipulating Monica into making the dinner. She identifies what would make Monica want to make the dinner and then doesn't feel any guilt (along with the rest of the friends) for standing Monica and Chandler up at the dinner

She's got that disconnect from the group and she's past empathising. She's getting what she wants, and what she wants is dinner and to have Rachel take Emma to that pagent. Winning matters more than the ethics of insisting your friend who didn't want to cook, cook dinner, and then stand them up after

The show isn't perfect, or even well written all of the time, but Phoebe's mess makes a weird amount of sense when you analyse her behaviour and ethics shift

She's a woman who's seen and been through too much, and she changes her coping mechanisms from denial and altruism to selfishness and indignation over time. Phoebe isn't a bad person like Ursela, but she's not this ideal person she once tried to be either

[chpkns]

BEST ALBUMS 2017

2017. Great year for music. Weird/terrible year for mostly everything else. You know how this works... let’s go.

Hon. Mentions: Mura Masa - Mura Masa; Everything Now - Arcade Fire; Teenage Emotions - Lil Yachty; Antisocialites - Alvvays; Ti Amo - Phoenix; Humanz - Gorillaz; Harry Styles - Harry Styles; Good for You - Amine; All American Made - Margo Price; This Old Dog - Mac Demarco’ Pleasure - Feist; Life Without Sound - Cloud Nothings; Big Fish Theory - Vince Staples; Aromanticism - Moses Sumney; Culture - Migos; More Life - Drake; Something To Tell You - HAIM; Hug of Thunder - Broken Social Scene; City of No Reply - Amber Coffman; Ctrl - SZA; Now That The Light Is Fading - Maggie Rogers; Blue Chips 7000 - Action Bronson; The Wild - Rural Alberta Advantage; American Teen - Khalid; Reputation - Taylor Swift; Run The Jewels 3 - Run The Jewels; Process - Sampha; Japandroids - Near to the Wild Heart of Life; Rainbow - Kesha

10) Half-Light - Rostam

Two things pushed the former Vampire Weekender’s debut solo album into my top ten, despite its shortcomings (that garbled dialogue section on ‘When’ almost lost it for me)... (1) I’m an all time sucker for Vampire Weekend, and this album at its best moments sounds like the very best parts of Modern Vampires, (2) BIKE DREAM. The glimmering centrepiece of a lead single might be the single best song of 2017. Although the rest of the album doesn’t quite match Bike Dream’s energy, it is airy and delightful in its own way. While Half-Light misses the boldness of a frontman like Ezra Koenig (busy with his own vanity projects at the moment) or any of the superstars that Rostam Batmanglij has worked with since parting ways with VW (Frank Ocean, Hamilton Leithauser, Carly Rae Jepsen, among others), there is an undeniable charm to the tentativeness of Rostam’s voice as he takes centre stage for the first time. A worthy solo debut.

Highlights: Bike Dream, Gwan, When, Wood, Thatch Snow

9) Funk Wav Bounces, Vol. 1 - Calvin Harris

Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1 is the Scottish DJ’s first Post-Swift album and the closest thing 2017 had to an official summer soundtrack. Harris reinvented himself, trading in the club for the beach and teaming up with a cadre of collaborators from established hip-hop stars (Migos, Pharell, Nicki Minaj) and rising stars (Khalid, Lil Yachty and Toronto’s own Jessie Reyez). Harris displays his talents as curator on Funk Wav Bounces, matching each track to just the right combination of guest artists with often inspired combinations (Frank Ocean and Migos on Slide, Kehlani and Lil Yachty on Faking It). And despite the varied cast, it maintains a consistent sound throughout -much moreso than its chief rival and closest contemporary in the summer collaboration album field this year, DJ Khaled’s wildly inconsistent and gloriously self-indulgent Grateful. FWB sounds exactly like its title - a collection of tropical jams sure to keep any backyard BBQ bumpin’.

Highlights: Slide (ft. Frank Ocean and Migos), Rollin (ft. Future and Khalid), Prayers Up (ft. Travis Scott and A-Trak), Faking It (ft. Kehlani and Lil Yachty)

8) Dirty Projectors - Dirty Projectors

2017′s self-titled Dirty Projectors release could not be more different from 2012′s Swing Lo Magellan. Most notable, of course, is the absence of Amber Coffman. Not just for her vocals, but for the fact that Dave Longstreth seemingly crafted the entire album around her breakup with him and the band (although he swears it isn’t as autobiographical as it sounds). There’s almost a chutzpah to Longstreth titling the Coffman-less album “Dirty Projectors” as if to put his own stamp on the meaning of the band (as he quotes KISS’ Gene Simmons: “a band is a brand”). Listening to the album, you can hear Longstreth working through the emotions of the breakup in real time, from bitterness, to regret, to resignedness and ultimately, resolution. Longstreth seems to have evolved the Projectors’ sound in his years since Swing Lo, having spent time collaborating with more mainstream pop and hip-hop artists. Dirty Projectors the album sheds the acoustic jam band aesthetic for tightly produced, electronic beats and vocal distortions. The result is a complex and eminently enjoyable album that delivers surprises on every track.

Highlights: Keep Your Name, Up In Hudson, Little Bubble, Cool Your Heart (ft. Dawn Richard)

7) Melodrama - Lorde

It’s amazing to think Ella Yelich-O’Connor is only 21 years old. Whereas Pure Heroine, released when she was 16, was a quintessential teen pop record, Melodrama, her second album, is a testament to newfound maturity. The New Zealander has done some growing up since she sang about “getting on [her] first plane” on Heroine, and it shows through the lyrical and musical diversity of this album. Melodrama ranges from anthems (Supercut, Green Light), to bangers (the Tove Lo co-written Homemade Dynamite) to ballads (Liability) all the while retaining an authenticity and unique weirdness to its songwriting. The lead track, Green Light, stands out as a particularly ambitious piece of songwriting. In less skilled hands, it might collapse under its own weight, but Lorde makes it work. The refrain on Liability of “you’re a little much for me, you’re a liability” and the image of “one girl, swaying alone, stroking her cheek” is just so good. Melodrama is a beautiful, complex pop album that solidifies Lorde’s place well above the majority of mainstream mass produced blandness. 

Highlights: Green Light, Homemade Dynamite, Liability, The Louvre

6) Freudian - Daniel Caesar

Toronto’s own Daniel Caesar’s debut album, Freudian, quickly became one of my most played records of 2017. Caesar’s mix of jazz, gospel and R&B is such easy listening I’ve often put it on while working and forgotten to change playlists before the album loops several times over. No one will accuse Freudian of being a high energy party record, but damn is it ever chill. Caesar’s silky smooth vocals, slipping effortlessly in and out of falsetto and floating effortlessly over the instrumental arrangements, are reminiscent of early Frank Ocean with a coolness harkens back to Love Below era Andre 3000. Freudian’s bucking of trap-influenced R&B trend for a more traditional sound comes out sounding modern and innovative. The obvious gospel influences make Caesar sound closer to Chance the Rapper than his fellow 6-natives Drake and the Weeknd. If Freudian is any indication, Daniel Caesar will be helping define Toronto’s sound for a long time to come.

Highlights: Get You (ft. Kali Uchis), Best Part (ft. H.E.R.), We Find Love, Transform (ft. Charlotte Day Wilson)

5) DAMN. - Kendrick Lamar

New Kung Fu Kenny! It’s even a shock to me that there ended up only being one true hip-hop record on this top ten (and we’re not really counting Calvin Harris as a rap album, are we? I didn’t think so.) But if there had to be only one, it had to be Kendrick Lamar. Kendrick is in rarefied, Kanye West type company in being able to say both that DAMN. might be his worst album, but still a bona fide classic. DAMN. embraces more of a mainstream hip-hop sound (complete with the faux mixtape DJ ad libs) than either of his last two offerings, To Pimp a Butterfly and untitled, unmastered. And while it fails to match the thematic unity of Good Kid, m.A.A.d. City, it still bangs. My first impression of DAMN. was that it sounded like if Kendrick made a Drake album (and made it look sexy)... and that ain’t a bad thing. Under the more commercially tuned exterior is the same incendiary social commentary we’ve come to expect from Kendrick. Turning his sights on Fox News critics, flexing about his friendship with Obama, and somehow making U2 seem cool in 2017 are all things that Kendrick does on DAMN. Another entry in K-dot’s epic canon.

Highlights: DNA., LOYALTY. (ft. Rihanna), HUMBLE., GOD.

4) Colter Wall - Colter Wall

My favourite country record of 2017. Speedy Creek’s own Colter Wall (the son of soon-to-be former Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall) is only 22, but you wouldn’t know it listening to this album. Wall’s deep, gravelly voice, layered over a stripped-down accompaniment feels as classic country as it gets. The starkness of the songs creates a barroom feel and leaves you to focus on the storytelling in his lyrics. Thirteen Silver Dollars tells the tale of an unfortunate drunken encounter with an RCMP officer. Kate McCannon is a classic western murder/love ballad. You Look To Yours rattles off a series of rejections by women in bars (and warns the listener “don’t trust no politicians”, showing that Colter Wall isn’t just a chip off the old block). Nashville producer Dave Cobb, who also worked on recent albums from the likes of Sturgill Simpson, Jason Isbell and Chris Stapleton - all leading disciples of the neo-traditionalist movement in alt-country - lends his talents to Wall’s debut release. The increasingly unlistenable quality of mainstream radio country may make one want to pour out a bottle of Thunderbird on music row, but Colter Wall shows us that the saving grace may come in the form of a prairie kid from up north.

Highlights: Thirteen Silver Dollars, Motorcycle, Kate McCannon, You Look To Yours

3) Turn Out The Lights - Julien Baker

The sophomore record from Tennessee singer-songwriter Julien Baker is not exactly a “feel good” album. At times, it feels downright depressing. The visceral quality and the rawness of the emotion in these songs just kept me coming back to this album. There is a realness and an intimacy that runs deep through the album. Turn Out The Lights deals with weighty stuff - addiction, mental health, loneliness, self-doubt - but with an undeniable beauty to the way Baker’s voice and lyrics layers over the piano and guitar. Woodwinds and violin accompaniments add to the richness on a few tracks but for the most part, the sparse palette of Baker’s voice, guitar and piano is enough to get the devastating point across. Baker’s voice, especially, has a haunting and beautiful quality that helps convey the gut wrenching emotion in her lyrics. There’s a hope, too, shining out behind the darkness. On Hurt Less, Baker moves from not wearing seatbelts because “I didn’t see the point in trying to save myself” to finding a reason in someone else to start buckling up. On another standout song, Appointments, Baker closes on a refrain of “Maybe it's all gonna turn out all right / Oh, I know that it's not, but I have to believe that it is.” Moments like that show that Turn Out The Lights isn’t the collection of sad songs it seems at first blush, but a celebration of the little moments of hope that help us get through the darkness.

Highlights: Appointments, Turn Out The Lights, Televangelist, Hurt Less

2) A Deeper Understanding - The War On Drugs

One word to describe this album: Big. I first listened to A Deeper Understanding on a float plane ride crossing the Georgia Strait from Vancouver island to the mainland on a sunny day. I can’t think of a better soundtrack for that than this. A Deeper Understanding is all soaring guitar, wailing synths and beating drums, perfect for tearing down a highway on a summer day, windows open to the wind. The War On Drugs’ Adam Granduciel has perfected his 80′s rock sound from 2014′s epic Lost In The Dream, tuning it perfectly to his Dire Straits-meets-Springsteen vocals. Every part of A Deeper Understanding feels finely tuned and crafted - you can feel the obsessiveness of Granduciel’s arrangements as the songs unfold. The songs themselves, mostly dwelling on loss and longing but against an undeniably upbeat musical background, are a strange contradiction that somehow never sounds wrong. It’s impossible to get through the guitar or organ riff sections on Nothing To Find without nodding a head or tapping a foot. The sonic grandeur, the “bigness”, of A Deeper Understanding is ultimately its greatest strength. Granduciel is painting landscapes here, not portraits. The influences are clear: Springsteen, Petty, Knopfler. If you think rock and roll is dead, you’re not listening to The War on Drugs.

Highlights: Up All Night, Holding On, Nothing To Find, Clean Living

1) American Dream - LCD Soundsystem

I never understood the backlash that LCD Soundsystem faced for coming out of retirement. Sometimes, an honest intention to hang up your skates is what it takes to bring out your best work (see, for example, Jay-Z’s The Black Album). American Dream, my favourite album of 2017, should solidify LCD’s comeback as a “good thing” once and for all. It would be one thing if a band kept churning out new, increasingly mediocre material (like later seasons of The Simpsons), but with American Dream, James Murphy and co. have done something truly great. American Dream is a brilliant, electric, synth-pop odyssey from start to finish. Recurring LCD themes like commentary on the state of popular music (lamenting on tonite that ‘everybody’s singing the same songs’) are prominent, but Murphy ruminates on personal topics like his divorce, missed opportunities (Black Screen lingers on Murphy’s failed chance to work more closely with David Bowie on his final album) and friendships lost. The most stunning track on the album, how do you sleep, is a pulsating, 9 minute take down of Murphy’s former collaborator Tim Goldsworthy - essentially a diss track - and it’s savage. The ‘drop’ at around the 3:30 mark is right about where I realized this album was something special. What finally sold me on American Dream as my album of the year was seeing it played live. LCD are probably one of, if not the, best live acts we have and this album truly bangs in person. At the centre of it all is Murphy, the unlikeliest front man, unshaven and drinking expensive wine in a grubby t-shirt. A rockstar with a dad bod. A bizarro light-side-of-the-force version of Steve Bannon. The American Dream incarnate if there ever was one. James Murphy is all of us, and none of us at the same time. Normal, but exceptional at the same time. This album is all exceptional. It’s the best of 2017.

Highlights: oh baby,  how do you sleep, tonite, call the police

SPECIAL RETROSPECTIVE

Now that I’ve been doing this a few years, I wanted to look back at my top albums of the decade so far...

2010: The Suburbs - Arcade Fire

2011: Take Care - Drake

2012: Channel Orange - Frank Ocean

2013: Yeezus - Kanye West

2014: Our Love - Caribou

2015: Art Angels - Grimes

2016: Coloring Book - Chance The Rapper

2017: American Dream - LCD Soundsystem

All in all a very solid and defensible selection of albums. I don’t want to second guess myself too much, and I would still ride or die for any of these choices, but if I’d change one or two, it might be to flip Yeezus for Modern Vampires in the City in 2013, or swap the Caribou for RTJ2 in 2014... which are just albums that have stuck with me more over time.