#the show could have been sooo much more book accurate instead we literally did not

[liaazhang]

you know what I'm going to complain. fuck tiktok. like seriously what happened to shows having 20-22 episodes?? their extremely short attention span has caused so many shows to reduce the number of episodes. don't even get me started on booktok. fuck you tiktok

[lateasalways]

(Damn, I had to make a new post because something weird happened to the cut when I edited, it went into the ask itself and isn’t working and I can’t fix it lmao, sorry!) 

Anon asked:

it would be interesting to me if you made a post about the elton books you have read. like how they differ and your opinion on them. ive only read Me but im interested in finding some other reads

Hi!  I’m sorry this took so long, I’ve suddenly been CRAZY busy with work now that there’s proper concerts happening again (and yay for that), but Anon, you have no idea how much I would like to answer that question and I’ve been thinking about it all week lmao, I think it’s super interesting to look at the differences between them. So of course I went amok and wrote way too long so just bare with me.

I’ve read 5 books in full and I’ve listed them in the order in which I read them.

1. Me by Elton John. You’ve all read that so I don’t have to explain it. It was the first one I read and my fav thing about it is how funny it is, and of course it’s very personal and therefore more emotional than some of the others. I absolutely love it and I honestly haven’t read a book that has engaged me so much in yeeeeaars, I would recommend that book to anyone, not only Elton fans.

2. Captain Fantastic by Tom Doyle. This book focuses on the 70s (but also includes his childhood/youth). I thought it was a great supplement  to Me, because many of the same stories are in there, but since the time span is shorter, it’s more detailed, and we get to hear other people’s versions of the events. What I particularly found interesting is the part about Elton breaking through in America. He’s always described it as sheer luck and being at the right place at the right time himself, and I’m sure that’s his experience of it, but that’s not what happened. I find that extremely fascinating. Here we get to hear from his first American label who basically got Empty Sky for free because it had been rejected by many others. Before they got the chance to release it Elton John came out which is obviously a step up production wise and they dropped everything and started pushing that album instead. Everyone at the label thought it was so great they really went all in with the promotion and managed to create a hype even though he was a complete unknown and that’s how he got the Troubadour gig. This book in several ways I think show that Elton is too humble when it comes to his talent, like you don’t get to headline over established and popular artists before the most important people in the industry as an unknown by sheer luck. It happened because the album was so great, the label were convinced he was going to be a star and they went for it. I really liked the book in general. Even though there is no shocking new info there, it shines a different light on several stories from Me which I find very interesting.

3. Sir Elton by Philip Norman. This book is about his life up until 1991 and it’s really long and super detailed, like some impressive work went into this one. (I listened to the audio book on scribd as they had a 30-day free trial because of corona, I don’t know if that’s still an offer but if it is I really recommend it.) It’s  a bit weird because on one side the author managed to detail and capture Elton’s personality SO well (he’s said so himself too) and the way he writes makes some of the stories so vivid it almost felt like watching a movie. I actually found myself getting as emotional as I did reading Me at several points, like I literally shed tears here and there. But then on the other side, there are several things that bothers me a lot about this book. First of all it seems like Norman for some reason think Stanley was a great father and is trying to convince us that Elton is wrong about everything he’s said about him. Like, why? He’s clearly talked a lot with his 2nd wife Edna and her perspective is obviously very different from Elton’s. But some of his points are just really weird like f.x. he says that Elton says his dad didn’t care about him but this is wrong because he actually had a framed photo of him in his room when he was in the RAF. Like….????? How does that prove anything? As long as Elton didn’t know about it, it means fuck all! You don’t get a gold star because you keep a framed photo of your only son wtf? Another example: One Christmas after the divorce Elton didn’t get a present or a card or anything. But this was because they had very little money and their new son was ill. Well that’s sad, but Elton didn’t know that? You could at least have called and explained it or just sent a card to let him know you were thinking of him too? The whole problem is that he didn’t SHOW that he loved him or was proud of him, he can have as many framed photos he likes but that doesn’t matter when you never show any kind of affection. Another example cause I’m on a roll: Edna says Elton in fact enjoyed his visits to them (which he himself has said he hated) she says he used to sit alone and play with their typewriter. That sounds sad AF??? Why are you trying to convince me this is great parenting? I know it was a different time but fuck! One thing I do believe though is that Sheila probably helped along the narrative that Stanley was awful, I think it’s very likely that she has exaggerated or even made up stories about him, but that’s not Elton’s fault. Another downside with the book (imo) is that Norman is apparently the world’s biggest fan of Dick James and there’s just sooo much boring stuff about Dick James there, I’m sorry but when he starts talking about Dick James I recommend you fast forward. The whole point is to set up the court case between him and Elton that happened in the 80s (in which he clearly thinks Dick was in the right) but I’m just not interested in that at all. If you are though, this is the book for you lol. Then there’s the things the author got wrong. First of all, he didn’t know about Elton’s drug use which is quite essential. Although you can easily read between the lines of what the interviewees are saying, so it’s not that distracting. Second, he seems to believe that Elton is actually bisexual which he obviously isn’t (and before I get accused of bi-erasure, he has said so himself time and time again that he’s never been interested in women and his coming out as bi in 76 was a “chicken out”) and it really bothered me cause it reads a bit homophobic to me as he seems to believe Sheila when she said that he “wouldn’t have been gay if it weren’t for show business.” So I’m a bit conflicted about this book. It has more negatives than the others but the good parts are SO SO GOOD. I would be very interested in hearing other people’s opinions about it.

4. Elton John by David Buckley. Another one I listened to on Scribd. This is a quite new one so certain things have come to light which makes it more accurate. It’s another book that didn’t have  a lot of groundbreaking new information, but he’s for some reason the only one who’s talked to Gary Osbourne and he has a lot of interesting things to tell. I think Gary deserves more credit and he was very close to Elton in a very interesting part of his career/life so it’s worth reading for that. This book is also about his whole life but way shorter than Sir Elton so obviously not as detailed, but there’s some fun stuff and new anecdotes in there.

5. Elton, my Elton by Gary Clarke. Gary was Elton’s on/off boyfriend between 1982 and 83 (ish) and obviously knows him in a way these other authors don’t. I was a bit unsure about reading this as I think it’s a bit tasteless to expose someone to that extent (and he goes into some seriously intimate details), but otoh I felt like it was kind of the missing puzzle piece so I bought it in the end (on ebay) and I can’t really say if it actually answered the questions I had or just gave me more. I thought Elton was weird before reading this and it certainly didn’t make me think he’s any less weird. It starts kind of cute, it almost reads like one of those self-insert popstar fanfics at first (not that I’ve ever purposely read any of that but you know, it’s hard to be on tumblr without stumbling upon that stuff now and again) but then it gets really dark. Which is because Elton apparently was clean when they first met but then after some time he started spiraling, so it’s just… it actually made me a bit nauseous tbh and it’s so frustrating too, I genuinely yelled “Elton, no!” out loud at one point lmao. But I have already talked at length about this book, particularly what I found disturbing about it and you can find that post here. If you’re interested in reading this book though, you should be warned there’s some rapey content, (though to be clear, that has nothing to do with Elton) and dubious consent.

So anon, since you’re looking for some further reading, these are all good and interesting books I think. It’s a bit hard to say which one I liked best because obviously, for every book I read there’s less new info. But then all of the books have stories I hadn’t heard before so they’re all worth reading if you’re crazy obsessive like me and wants to know absolutely everything lol. I really enjoyed reading all of them (well enjoy isn’t the right word for Gary’s book but yk.) so I guess you should just consider what sounds more interesting to you and go for that :) If you take away the negatives I think Sir Elton is probably the one I enjoyed the most, while Elton, my Elton is the most revealing. Elton John is more complete while Captain Fantastic is really good if you’re more interested in the 70s and his breakthrough.

Thank you so much for the ask! I hope you found what you were looking for and enjoy some further reading! To anyone else who might be reading this: if you have thoughts on any of these books or things you want to discuss, please, my inbox is open! :D

[josieandthepussycatsofficial]

i have done my classic thing: i have started pride and prejudice 2005, i am 7 minutes in, and i am disgusting with this bastardization of the text

my liveblogs below the cut

elizabeth is a man-hating love-hater? not according to any book jane austen wrote!

elizabeth is too silly and improper, mrs bennet, kitty, and lydia are not at all silly enough

this sucks

lizzy is upset that mr darcy didnt find her attractive? that is a devastating mischaracterization and sets the whole plot and their relationship off on terrible and incorrect footing.

also wtf are they sitting under some benches at a dance?

hate that darcy immediately looks at elizabeth (in a way we’re meant to assume means he finds her attractive) as if his attraction to her comes from her initially from her appearance. he really was not interested in her until he began observing her behavior and interacting with he

when mrs bennet says, “it’s a shame [charlotte lucas] isn’t more handsome,” a terribly improper and humiliating thing to say, mr bingley snorts a laugh. mr bingley is not supposed to be improper at all. he has good breeding, he’s rich, he’s just also very nice and friendly. he would never laugh at that

i do not know enough about the regency era to comment, but it seems to me that there are certain liberties with historical accuracy wrt clothing and such in this film that you don’t see in the bbc miniseries. for instance, elizabeth coming to netherfield with her hair down? i don’t believe women ever wore their hair down at this time (*edit* the bbc series and this movie take place in different periods. bbc series: 1813, movie: 1797)

why is mr bingley so awkward? i mean i know why, it’s to make him seem charming and unthreatening and cute and relatable or whatever, but it’s just inconsistent. his character is extremely warm, friendly, polite, not terribly intellectual, but not a bumbling mess who can’t execute a thought without backtracking because he’s so nervous around his lady love

the book has comedy to spare, you don’t have to cheaply manufacture it in this way just because the director’s scared that his audience won’t understand the original humor/scared that he won’t have the ability to make the original humor understood/doesn’t understand the original humor himself because he doesn’t understand the source material!!

i also hate the sharpness and vitriol that this darcy puts in his language. he’s supposed to be uber-polite but cold and haughty. propriety doesn’t permit active hostility (such as when he’s bemoaning the liberal use of the word “accomplished” when applied to women) in regular conversation. that’s intense and insane 

why does he speak so quickly? also they really should not have cut the whole netherfield drawing room scene, at least not the conversation between darcy and elizabeth about teasing and pride. they actually now that i think about it cut his whole thing on how a great man can never be too prideful. that’s really fuckin important character stuff! for both of them!

the comedy in this mr collins scene is not landing. they’re like laughing at him before he’s gotten too outrageous. and the actor is such a quiet, mild-mannered dude that he’s not really grating as he should be. this is supposed to be an extraordinarily annoying character, so annoying that the bennets can’t stand him for literally one meal.

ugh they have mrs bennet suggest to mr collins that he should pursue lizzy instead of jane. that’s not out of character for her at all but it misses the opportunity to show how scuzzy mr collins is, and also how fucking little he cares about who his wife is, assuming she meets the criteria of lady catherine de bourgh

ew mr wickham is so skeevy! lizzy’s into him because he’s hot and picked up her handkerchief? that’s it? is she an idiot? he’s not charming or good-natured or fun or funny at all. lydia: he’s a lieutenant! wickham: an enchanted lieutenant (referring to being enchanted to meet lizzy). like scream! what a gross pick up line!!!!)

and their flirtation is based on banter (no!) and him being self-deprecating (maybe, but not in such an obvious way “ignore me i’m next to nothing” what a fucking weird thing to say)

he literally charms her by pulling a quarter out of her sister’s ear. are you kidding? is she 8?

this dance scene btw elizabeth and darcy is all wrong. she immediately jumps on him with “it’s your turn to say something” after it’s been .1 seconds since he last spoke, and he spoke way more amiably (”indeed, most invigorating”) than would be his wont.

oh my god they’ve stopped dancing to angrily talk to each other in the middle of the dance floor? this is so incoherent with the characters (so improper!) and the time period. just cultivating more drama. this scene’s already juicy, they don’t have to be spitting angrily into each other’s mouths for it to come across

so silly and melodramatic that twice in this movie the entirety of a loud crowded drunken ballroom has screeched to a halting silence immediately for some minor drama. the first being the bingleys and mr darcy simply entering the room. the second being mr collins introducing himself to mr darcy (that one is especially ridiculous)

oh god why are they portraying mr collins as so sympathetic and sweet? he’s a fucking asshole! he’s not just annoying he’s a dick! that’s important, otherwise elizabeth is really unjustly mean to him, especially while she’s rejecting his proposal

oh i disagree with the way they play charlotte’s reasons for marrying mr collins. instead of her just not being romantic and marrying for practical reasons because that’s her nature, they make it a biiig thing like she has to marry because she’s old and ugly and otherwise she’ll go to the poorhouse

it’s not surprising that a lot of my critiques have to do with them pumping drama that doesn’t make sense into the story. making characters shout or spit words etc, because of course that’s what a hollywood film was going to do with a 19th century novel of manners

i guess i should say some good things about this movie. the cinematography is very lovely, obviously. i think it’s well cast, especially judi dench, with the exception of kiera knightley and the actor who plays mr collins. i think matthew mcfayden could’ve been a great darcy had he actually known anything about the character beyond the script

actually i take it back, judi dench isn’t quite amping up the ridiculous nature of this character like she should. they keep a lot of her silly lines but she doesn’t hit them to emphasize just how silly they are. she’s almost too stately to play this woman who, despite her great rank, enjoys spending her time being condescending to lower rank people

here comes my agreement with the grand critique of this movie: they make darcy out to be socially awkward rather than a haughty ass. he’s leaning in and whispering that he has trouble conversing with people, as if he means he has social anxiety and doesn’t mean, “small talk with simpletons bores me”

oh no they cut the delicious piano practice scene! they rewrote it and lizzy just says, “you should practice,” and we don’t get to have this famous, witty misunderstanding that elucidates darcy’s character so well!!!

oh no no no in this scene where colonel fitzwilliam tells lizzy that darcy split up bingleys attachment he tells her that the problem wasn’t the lack of fortune but the family! why?????? that’s half of the big reveal of darcy’s letter????? it’s when she realizes that oh his intentions weren’t so bad

i know i already said it but fuck darcy speaks fast. it sounds like shit. why doesn’t he just shut the fuck up and slow down? it’s weirdly inconsistent with his character. though i guess if they’re trying to rewrite him as socially awkward this could be part of that. but they shouldnt be! because it invalidates the whole premise of the story, their romance, and his character arc!

whoa whoa whoa and in the proposal scene when she says “why did you propose by telling me you’re doing this against your better judgement” he interrupted apologetically, trying to explain. what!!! no!!! he is an asshole! he’s insulted that this low rank woman would dare reject him. he didn’t suspect for one instant that she would. he’s fucking fuming from her first word

wow they’re chopping up this iconic proposal scene huh. i guess to make darcy still seem like a Nice Guy. he didn’t get to accuse her of only rejecting him because she was insulted by his proposal, she had to say that line. this movie is like, let’s make lizzy seem as insane as possible, and darcy as sweet as can be.

you’re not supposed to realize how wrong lizzy is, it’s supposed to creep up on you very slowly. youre supposed to feel like she’s been very reasonable up to this point, and you’re as shocked as she is when she reads the letter.

even his face! so shocked and sad like a kicked puppy standing there in the rain (we won’t even touch why the fuck they’re standing outside in the pouring rain). he’s angry right now! he’s so mad! he’s supposed to be fucking mad, because he’s a proud, arrogant, asshole!

oh my god and look he’s saying the lack of fortune of the bennets had nothing to do with it, and lizzy wow she’s sooo crazy for suggesting it, even though 20 seconds ago he just said it sucks that i’m in love with you ‘cause you’re so low class. god this scene sucks

there’s a reason this is all written in a letter in the book, it works much better that way. this is not a back and forth, lizzy doesn’t get to ask questions and poke holes. he offers his defenses and is still kind of a dick, and lizzy has to read it all without responding or rejecting it, really has to sit with it, the way you can’t do in a fight

oh and he just apologized for accurately noting that elizabeth’s family is often really disgustingly improper! how fucking out of character! both in general and in the scene because, and i can’t stress this enough, HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ANGRY

oh ok i have to redact some of my former criticism. he finally gets mad at the very end here, and makes the comment about “did you expect me to rejoice in your low birth?” though he still didnt say the crucial “perhaps you would have accepted had not the manner of proposal offended you”

wait what the fuck??? did they just lean in for a kiss and lean away?? like a whole, i’m angry at you i’m hot for you let’s fuck thing? what the fuck? not only is that cheap romance melodrama but also lizzy HATES this man. not like oops i love-i mean hate you but really hates him

why do they choose to have elizabeth not tell jane about the proposal? i can’t imagine there being any reason? except of course that’s she’s secretly already in love with him and doesn’t want to admit it! gag

this scene between elizabeth and mr bennet about lydia going off with the forsters is well done imo

ugh god but they’ve given lizzy’s “what are young men to rocks and mountains?” line to mary, making it seem stupid and platitudinal, because that’s mary’s character

oh good, elizabeth is going on another “all men are trash” rant that is a thinly veiled reference to darcy. they’re just fucking taking a wrecking ball to this character’s credibility and intelligence huh?

this is really devastating actually because at this point the movie is telling us that lizzy is fighting through the anger and hate and realizing she loves darcy, after their sexy confrontation and his letter. in reality, she’s realized she was wrong and is doing some deep self-reflection.

she feels a little sheepish about how she boldly she accused darcy of things she was so wrong about but she still isn’t in love with him because he’s still a fucking proud ass! he just happened to be right about some shit that she was too prejudiced to realize

it doesn’t make sense if she falls in love with him before he grows and becomes a good person. it shows a weakness of character on her part and makes his eventual character growth just a cherry on top. oh that’s nice, they’re in love *and* he’s not gonna treat her like shit. totally invalidates the whole point of the story, overcoming personal defaults and finding healthy love that way

wow they make lizzy so stupid! she objects so stupidly to visiting pemberly! oh let’s not. he’s so…. he’s so… he’s so rich! wtf are you talking about? in the book she’s just kind of like eh idk…. do you really want to go? i guess if you think we should go… oh he won’t be there? oh cool let’s do it

ok so i’m 1:21:54 into the movie. i have 45 minutes left. i’m stopping. i’m angry and getting no joy from this so. this was a humiliating project for me, thinking i could enjoy this movie. never again

[happybeeme0514]

Irreversible

Sooo it’s gonna be full-fledged project. *yay!* I will warn you now tho, I am a scatter-brain garbage monster so sometimes the chapters will be a little bit spaced out, but I WILL try to post chapters as they are completed! Thank you for your support, and I love you all sooo much!!!

PS. Yes, I know her name is Eden like in my other story, but I just can’t have a possible Ziggy-OC romance story without my OC’s name being Eden. I’m sorry!

MC Name- Eden

Eden POV

Chapter 1- The Garden of Eden

I sit in my cell, like I do day after day, month after month, year after year. I read all the books I had been given…I don’t even remember how many years ago, and I’ve read them again, many to the point that they’ve fallen apart.

I’m a vampire. Born in 1330 or 1331—time wasn’t kept accurately for peasants, you see—in Whitechapel, London, England, to peasant parents who already had ten other children. My father was a blacksmith and my mother was a seamstress. My older siblings, all brothers, would help father, and I, mother.

Mother told me I was named for the garden of Eden, because when I was born, I was the most beautiful baby she and my father had ever seen. She had also prayed every day for a little girl, and believed that my being a girl was God’s answer to her.

And life was difficult, like it was for every peasant family, but we were content, happy. It’s funny how one little rat can ruin everything. In the winter of my seventeenth or eighteenth age, the Black Death, otherwise known as the Bubonic Plague, had spread to Europe, and people were dropping like flies. If only we had known to bathe, to wash our hands, not to share dirty bath water, to wash our fruits and vegetables…it’s quite disgusting when you think of how humans lived back then, but I digress.

My family and I all got sick. In the span of several days, it was down to just me and my parents. I remember my brothers just lying in their beds, not moving, flies buzzing around their open eyes and mouths, and those damnable rats scurrying along the floors.

My father prayed nonstop, begging God to at least spare his only daughter. Mother just slept in fitful spells and coughed. I had given up on any deity. If God did exist, why would He let us suffer in such a way? Why rip beloved families apart? What had we done?  

That’s when a plague doctor came. He tallied the bodies of my once rowdy brothers, prayed with my father, and held my mother’s hand until she passed.

Father begged. He begged the doctor to save me, said he’d give anything, even his soul to the devil, if I would live. The doctor told him that wouldn’t be necessary, that I would live, and my father, in peace—false peace, I’d believed—passed.

The doctor removed his macabre mask and looked at me, still alive, dying in my bed, and smiled, showing me a pair of sharp, pointed canines.

“I made a promise.”

Was all he said before making me what I am.

I scoff to myself.

It wasn’t long before these so-called ‘gods’ captured me and threw me in here, only a couple hundred years. I don’t recall having done anything wrong, I was only going about my business, and I didn’t kill for fun. I didn’t even kill when I fed! I’m sure there are others of my kind more deserving of being locked in here for eternity.

Like him.

It’s boring in this cell. That’s my chief complaint. It’s dark—even though I can see in the dark—it’s small, it’s quiet, and it’s boring. If I could die from boredom, I’d have been dead centuries ago.

I twiddle a small rock in between my index and middle fingers for a few minutes, then crush it as easily as if it were butter.

Let me out in the forest somewhere. Just for an hour or two. Let me run, let me jump, let me bound and climb and leap and sprint. Vampires were made for that.

My door opens, and my eyes shoot up in surprise. A light flickers on, but my eyes don’t need time to adjust.

Standing in the doorway are two men in uniforms I don’t recognize, one in black and one in gold. They don’t look happy.

A god who works in this department flutters nervously behind them, his thick, round glasses magnifying his flat black eyes.

“U-um…E-Eden…t-this is…”

“My name is Leon,” The man in the gold uniform interrupts impatiently, his voice low and musical. His hair is a rich shade of golden-brown, and messy, falling to his chin, and his face is beautiful, slender, his eyes narrowed in irritation and his mouth set in a straight line.

“Scorpio.” The one in black says, his voice just as deep, with a hint of venom in it. He has jet black hair that flops over his right eye, his one visible eye a stormy grey color. His skin is fair, is features neatly and attractively arranged, but there’s an indentation above his left eye, telling me he, too, is agitated.

I remain where I sit, staring unblinking at the two gods.

“Okay,” I reply, hearing my own voice for the first time in what feels like forever. “What does that mean to me?”

Leon’s eyes, matching the color of his hair, narrow, his expression becoming even more displeased.

“You would be wise not to speak to us like that,” He warns.

“What do you want with me?” I say anyway. “No one ever comes into a vampire’s containment cell. We’re…taint-ed.”

I sound the word out syllable by syllable, mimicking the words their king told me when I was sentenced to be locked in here for the rest of my days.

“We need you,” Scorpio says, looking my dead in the eye.

“For what? What could you possibly need me for?”

Scorpio stomps over to me and leans down to grab me around my arm.

“N-no! You can’t…g-grab her like that!”

Scorpio ignores the other god’s cries and tries to yank me to my feet, but I refuse to budge. I just stare at him, expressionless.

“Get up!” He snarls.

“Why?” I reply flatly.

“Because, you annoying girl, if you don’t help us…!”

“Everyone, including you, is doomed.” Leon cuts Scorpio, who is getting more and more excited, off.

My eyes flit over to him, and I can feel my expression shift.

“Doomed?” I repeat.

“Just come with us!”

Scorpio yanks again, pulling as hard as he can, so much so that he’s rocking back onto his heels. I don’t move.

“The minister of Punishments is dying,” Leon explains while Scorpio yanks and pulls. “And only you can help him. Will you please…come with us?”

I can tell he’s making himself be polite with me while his friend tries to manhandle me, but I sigh, resigned, and unlock my body.

Scorpio loses his balance and topples backward; if it weren’t for his grip on my arm, he’d have sprawled to the stone floor.

“Jesus, woman! Don’t just do that! How the hell are you so strong, anyway?”

“I’m a vampire,” I say, uninterested. “We’re strong.”

Leon lifts his hand and snaps his fingers, and I feel a sudden, warm sensation on the side of my neck. My shoulders jolt, and a hand flies to the warm spot, where my fingers feel lines marking my skin.

“That is your chain,” Leon tells me. “If you try to escape from us, you’ll immediately be teleported back here. Is that clear?”

I stare at him blankly, my hand falling to my side.

“There’s no need to chain me. Just going outside is…” I trail off, deciding it’s not worth the effort to explain, and instead say, “It’s clear.”

“Good. Now, come on.”

…

When the sun hits my face for the first time in literally centuries, I feel like I could cry. My eyes prickle, the old human reaction rising up inside of me, but my body being mostly unable to do so. I close my eyes and lift my face, feeling the warmth of the sun’s rays against my cheeks as I follow Leon, Scorpio behind me. I smile in spite of myself as the gentle breeze rustles my hair, loose around my shoulders, and I shiver pleasantly.

“Is this really that nice?” Scorpio asks, staring at me like I have a third eye. I open my eyes and look over at him. He looks at my eyes, blinks, then flinches away from me.

“Oh. Oops, sorry, I forgot.” I mutter.

I forgot that when a vampire is in direct sunlight, our eyes shift from their natural color to red. The sun reveals what we truly are, and that’s the reason we don’t go out during the day.

No, it doesn’t kill us.

“But yes, it is really that nice,” I continue, staring at the vibrant grass under my feet. Their soft blades feel like satin against my skin. “I haven’t been outside in god knows how many years. The sun and the breeze feels good.”

“Well if you succeed in saving Zyglavis, you won’t go back to that cell.” Leon says. I look up at him.

“What?” I breathe.

“You heard me. Save Zyglavis, and you get your freedom. Fail, and you get thrown back down there.”

I taste the familiar, metallic twinge of the venom as it fills my mouth, my mind and body wanting to respond to that threat with a snarl, but I hold myself back. I swallow thickly and remain silent as we walk to the large, sprawling palace in the distance.

…

When we enter, I get all kinds of looks.

It’s easy to tell I’m no goddess, especially by the way I’m dressed.

Bare feet, simple, dingy white day dress (that I’ve had on for years), slightly tangled hair, and abnormally pale skin…this must be a sight for these so-called noble gods.

I look around as we walk, at the high walls, intricately decorated, at the exquisite paintings and vases…even the doors are delicate and ornate. As I stare at the grandure of my surroundings, it occurs to me that these gods must truly be desperate. So desperate as to come to me, a vampire, a creature they so blatantly loathe, and ask...well, demand, for my help. I look to Leon.

“What happened to him?” I ask.

“Be silent,” Leon says, his voice low. “We’ll tell you when we get there.”

People whisper to each other as we pass, thinking I can’t hear them.

“Who is that ragity looking girl?”

“She’s not a goddess, is she?”

“Impossible! Look at her!”

“Why would they let such filth into the palace?”

Without me realizing it, a small growl slips, the sound like a threatened cat.

“Hey!” Scorpio hisses.

“Sorry…” I mumble.

“He’s through here,” Leon says as we come to a door covered by curtains. I frown.

“Why the curtains?”

“To prevent unwanted guests.”

He pulls back the curtains and twists the golden door handle, opening one of the doors, and looks to me. I glance back at Scorpio, who jabs his chin toward the room, and, with a sigh, I enter.

Once the three of us are in, Scorpio closes the door quietly behind him.

There are three other men in the room, plus one lying on the couch, covered by a blanket. The two standing by the window turn to the sound of the door closing, and the other looks up from his book when he sees us.

But my eyes are glued to the man on the couch, my jaw dropping when I see the state he’s in. He moves his tired eyes, lined with dark purple circles, to look at me. My body freezes, unwilling to move. It’s like the rest of the world melts away, like a sword just pierced my already dead heart, sending an unplesant sensation like icy needles through my veins.

“Eden,” Leon says as he comes to stand beside me. “This is Zyglavis, the Minister of the Department of Punishments.”

[savannahjanisxo]

boy, oh boy have I neglected posting this concert experience story (3 ½ months overdue yike) for the people who probably could care less about it, but it is finally here, & it is v v v extensive as it includes basically every detail I can recall accurately.

Here ya go, curious cats:

I went to the show in Santa Ana, CA on March 5th. I got to the venue maybe 20 or 30 minutes after doors opened, so the openers were already in the middle of their set. I dragged my older guy cousin w/ me (since my sister was doing a photoshoot in San Diego that night + the next day), & during the opener’s set, he pushed me to the front of the crowd since he knew how long I had been waiting to see hippo. Then they came out & did their thing, & holy shit. Okay, it was so worth waiting almost 2 years. Their set was so fucking surreal; I may or may not have almost cried.. Also in the middle of their set, some guy pushed to the front to let Jake take a hit off a joint, & it was p iconic lol.

After the show, the crowd waited like 5-10 minutes to disperse due to the hope of a possible encore. I then got merch & waited inside the venue for maybe 15 minutes since the last time I was at the Observatory, the band I saw met fans inside the venue, but after seeing most of the fans walking outside, I followed.. Also b/c they kicked everyone out lol.

There were maybe 60-70 (possibly even more) fans outside waiting in the parking lot for the guys, but hippo had chosen to wait everyone out until there were 30 fans max which was 1 - 1 ½ hours later. During that time, I made a few new friends since my cousin decided to just wait inside of his car for me to do my thing.

(Whistler left right after the show to spend time w/ his family, sooo y'know.. I didn’t get to meet him.)

The first boy to come out was Nathan, but he stopped to smoke a cigarette w/ security lol. We were on our way to meet him half way, but we stopped when we saw he was busy (DON’T BOTHER THEM IF THEY SEEM BUSY OKAY). We then just waited for another one of them to come out or until he was finished.

Jake:

Jake came out next, so we went over to him to take pictures & whatnot. I’ve been promising him a lame dad shirt for the past two years, & I still have yet to provide. I apologized for that as we were about to take our picture, & he simply replied, “aww, next time!” whilst rubbing my arm. Not to be dramatic, but Jake is pure sunshine. I wish I had more time to chat w/ him, but so many others were trying to speak to him as well, so after the pictures, the girls & I were off to the next boy.

Nathan:

We went to Zach since Nathan was still smoking, but everything w/ Zach will be addressed last since that was most of it.. SO after seeing Zach the first time around in the night, we went to Nathan, & my conversation w/ him is kind of a blur, but basically the gist & a few specifics: he called himself a whore (I briefly explain here for those wanting further explanation), he told me to get out of California, & I called him a hippie which he asked me to explain myself, but he was literally rolling a joint as he was giving his “stop being on your phones, go outside, & interact w/ your friends” spiel. (One of the girls took a snap video of him, & in it he says “like at the same I want the ability to be able to be here now, so.. that’s what cigarettes are all about.” C’mon hippie sticker boy, admit it.) I also brought up his twitter & how this one time late at night, & he was the only one of the boys awake, so he was bored & asked to be sent poetry. I sent a realist suggestive poem about me “doing homework when it should be you” (my recent works are definitely more tasteful & not that trashy.. but sticker boy told me the other night (in direct reference to my previous statement) that “trash is & will always be better than we think.” sooo maybe he enjoyed it? I don’t know about that cryptic boy), & he told me he didn’t remember. Then he asked me what year this happened, & I told him it happened in 2015 to which he said, “I was a different man then” lol okay, child. Little something about sticker: he comes off as a very serious person when you speak to him, but he isn’t at all. Although, he is very formal. When I first went up to him, he went in for a handshake, but I had been waiting too long for this to be a handshake; I needed it to be a hug. We then introduced ourselves.. Ooooh. I also talked to Nathan about his sister, Madeline, b/c she’s been following me on Instagram for a couple years (I didn’t even follow her first lol), & oml the look on his face when I told him that. He rolled his eyes & said, “ohhh, Madeline.” It was hilarious (love you, Maddie). Overall, we just had a 5-10(??) minute conversation about life (in the midst of the conversation, someone was pulling out of the parking lot blasting one of their songs (can’t remember which one.. violet maybe?), & Nathan yelled, “turn that shit off.” It was iconic).. Then I went back over to Zach.

Zach:

Background info:

About a week before the show, I was tweeting this boy so much? Within a week probably 30 of my tweets were liked by him; it was so excessive, & soz to anyone who was following me during that time b/c yikes. Anyway, basically the main part of it was that we were finally going to fight, & the whole Zach only liking tweets & fighting has been a running joke since 2015 okay, so this isn’t new. He also agreed to “match” outfits w/ me, hence the denim shirt over his sweatshirt.

(You can peep the embarrassing twitter thread here. Some tweets contain their own threads too js lol.)

At the actual show:

When Z finally came out, the girls I was w/ & I booked it over there, & he was chatting w/ some people, & he talks for a long time which is really nice, but also time consuming y’know. (Also oml okay as we were waiting for them to finish their conversation, this bih smiled, & I kid you not, my weak ass squealed a bit. Like those dimples? Are you fucking kidding me?) Anyway, when our turn finally came to, I went first since we had a whole plan going. It was a thing where I was going to greet him by saying something vaguely rude, so he’d be aware of the whole fighting thing b/c if I greeted him like I actually would have w/ the whole “hey, how are you,” bringing up the fight would’ve been a tad awkward, thus “Zach, you ass” was born.

(You can watch that on my twitter here. It’s also part of the thread, but eh y’know.)

Subsequently after the denim shirt talk (the video cuts right before this, but he actually apologized for not bringing his other denim shirt, & I told him that I was just happy he even brought/wore one b/c I asked, & he said, “yeah, well thanks.” what an awkward angel), I called him out about some twitter things such as why he doesn’t reply, & he said, “I just like b/c it’s like a binary sort of thing.” Then I told him that I actually would have brought him candy in which this bitch smugly replied, “maybe I don’t like candy.” Uhm this boy liked the tweet, & if it is actually a binary thing, he is indicating that he does like candy smh. Anyway, I asked, “what about donuts or something?” This bih then decided to sass me aGAIN by saying, “Whistler likes donuts,” & I was so done. BOY, NO SHIT. EVERYONE & THEIR MOTHER KNOWS WHISTLER LOVES DONUTS HOLY FUCK. I WAS USING THAT AS AN EXAMPLE FOR A SUGGESTION. Ugh then he said that I should bring him fruit, so I asked which is his favorite, & I thought to myself, “he better not say mango,” & HE DID. I was disgusted, everyone else was disgusted b/c of my reaction, & it was a mess. Then we continued to talk about fruit for a few more minutes (it was a long fruit convo) such as the correct way to eat grapefruit (peel the skin & put sugar on it), pomegranate being bomb, & yet another opposing opinion which was on putting tajín on fruit (Z hasn’t had it, so he believes that “salty things don’t belong on fruit.. that’s for pretzels” ..tajín is chili powder that tastes like candy, & it is amazing, especially on watermelon). Then I said bye to him after we took our pictures, helped the girls I was w/ take their pictures, & we went over to Nathan (which I already went over).

Second time around talking to my mango bitch: So after talking to Nathan, I went back over to Zach alone since the girls I was w/ decided to leave (it was maybe 12:15 AM at this point, & it was Sunday night, soooo y’know). My phone had also died when I was waiting to talk to Zach the first time, but then it came back on by itself when I was waiting to talk to him the second time. It was living on the edge, so I ran back to my cousin’s car to get my portable charger (we had parked right by the bus in the very front of the venue, so it was very convenient), but tHAT WAS ALSO ON THE EDGE. I went back in line, & I was the last person to talk to Zach, so it was a long time spent. We said hi again, & we took so. many. pictures. These were all snap filter ones, & we did that for a few minutes. Okay, so my bitch ass oml I made him retake a few, & at one point, I actually said, “ew, I don’t like this; we have to retake it,” & hE LAUGHED AT ME, & THEN HE MIMICKED ME. I can’t believe. Ugh okay, but a part of this was that we were going to do the infamous face swap filter, but it was unavailable, & we realized it was on the picture face swap instead right as it was finishing loading, & we both said, “wait, this is the picture one” & almost switched w/ the picture I had just taken w/ Jake. Then I asked him how tall he was, & he said, “I don’t know, 6′1?” I told him that I think he’s def 6′2. I also asked him if he was sick since I noticed he had been coughing a bit throughout the night, & he said he was, & I just kNEW he would probably get me sick too, & wow what a surprise, he did. Afterwards, I had him record a video for my best friend who couldn’t come (she started liking hippo when I did, but she is not as present in the “fandom” anymore), & I asked him if I should use the flash or not b/c I did not want to blind him w/o warning, he said whatever I want is fine, so I chose to do it w/o the flash, but ahh okay, I kept having to wave him around to try to be in better lighting, & I felt so bad. Then finally we said our goodbyes after he noticed that I was actually shivering, & he said, “well, it’s cold. I gotta go get warm; you gotta go get warm. It was so nice to see you,” & we hugged, but then we ended up walking in the same direction. As we finally broke away & I was almost to the car, he calls over & says, “I’m still only going to like your tweets,” & I deadass call back over & say, “you are annoying as fuck.” 

Post related events:

So when I got home from the show, I took to twitter to express my love & annoyance for such mango boy to acknowledge which included me tweeting him less than an hour after I left saying that he’s cute, & t’was a good fight. Also the next day (the day they had their second Conan performance), I tagged him in the comments of the first post I made of one of our pictures calling him out for not liking it & that we actually have to fight again if he doesn’t like it, & this child decided to like my cOMMENT INSTEAD. Then I commented again explaining that I was meaning the picture & not the comment, & he liked that one too. About a week later, I had told my mom & her boyfriend about the whole Zach thing, & I tweeted something my mom’s boyfriend said about me fucking up by not kissing Z (which would’ve been highly inappropriate wtf why would I??), & he liked that tweet too lmao. I was mortified. He’s liked some more stuff within that same period to now, but I cannot recall if they’d actually add anything to this?

Okay also disclaimer: I do not hate Zach, & he know this. It’s just how we are (which are two v extra people).. but he is def the bitch in our relationship thanks. 

[turtletotem]

Episode 1 - Birds of a Feather

First of all, I should note that my Dresden Files journey began with the TV show. I started watching it as it first aired, drawn in by this moment in the trailer, right here:

I loved the show, mourned when it didn't get a second season, and thereafter sought out the books—which have since become one of those life-defining things where their story is part of your story. So I might have more issues with the show if I'd been a book fan first, but I wasn't and I don't. I do consider the books superior in most ways, but they've also had 15 books to get that way; the first couple were much shakier, and in my opinion closer to the show in quality. (…though probably still better.)

So anyway. I'm rewatching the Dresden Files TV show and writing up my observations and opinions about it, particularly as compared to the books. Spoilers for both GALORE.

Episode 1: Birds of a Feather

We see a lot of Harry's dad in these first few episodes, and that's one thing I really love about the show. Book!Harry loved his dad, but barely remembers him, and is ultimately more concerned with his mother's complex magical legacy than that of his vanilla mortal father. Which is fine, it's even pretty cool to have the Orphaned Hero obsessed with his mother's legacy instead of his father's, but I really enjoy seeing more of Malcolm Dresden and the kind of dad he was, the kind of happy childhood Harry could have had if his father hadn't died. And I very much consider the two Papa Dresdens to be the same character; the only difference between them that I can think of is that show!Malcolm got to live longer. (And yeah, supposedly book!Malcolm's death was natural but tbh I am sooo not convinced of that.)

The show combines Harry's shield bracelet with his mother's amulet. I'm not sure why they would make that change; maybe just to streamline some of Harry's magical gear, which he gradually gets quite a lot of. Maybe they thought it would be weird to have a male protagonist wearing a necklace? Idk, I'm only saying that as a woman whose dad was very weirded out by her brother wearing (perfectly masculine) necklaces.

We first meet adult Harry in bed with a pretty woman, which is… rather hilarious considering book!Harry's track record with women. That is one slight beef I have with the show; here and elsewhere they characterize Harry as someone looking for a casual good time with a lady, and Harry is emphatically not that way. To the point that it costs him potential relationships, i.e. Murphy who doesn't want to get serious and Harry who's incapable of not getting serious. The only remotely casual sex Harry has in the books is with Anastasia, whom he was still explicitly and exclusively Dating.

Show!Harry drives a Jeep instead of book!Harry's famous Blue Beetle, which I think is a change a lot of people disliked. The justification I heard for it was that the actual visuals of putting a long-legged stork of a man like Harry/Paul Blackthorne into a VW Beetle were hilarious in an unwanted way. The Jeep doesn't bother me overmuch, because they did still take the effort to find an older, sturdier sort of car, like the Beetle, that Harry might actually be able to keep running—but I can't help thinking they missed the point, because the Beetle is supposed to be hilarious.

I love this opening sequence, guys. So much. So much.

It's nice that Bob calls Harry out on his Arbitrary Skepticism after he fails to believe the kid about being followed by monsters. It still bugs me that it happened. Yeah, being the only wizard in the phone book brings out the crazies, but seriously, Harry, you know there is such thing as monsters.(Nice nod to the "no birthday parties" rule, though, in that conversation.)

Show!skinwalker is an entirely, entirely different creature than book!skinwalker, to the extent that I'm pretty sure they just heard the word "skinwalker" and ran with it, but at least this skinwalker is still a very-bad-news heavy-hitter, more or less worthy of the naagloshii's legacy.

SHOW!BOB. Guys, I could easily write an entire series of essays just about show!Bob, and to my knowledge he's one of the major changes that was actually well-received by fans—because even though the similarities between the two characters are minimal, show!Bob is such a fantastic character in his own right that it's impossible to hold it against him. And honestly the show works much better with this Bob than it would have with book!Bob. He needed an actor, for one thing. A person who can emote and interact. A voice issuing from a skull is fine in a book, but makes for very boring screentime. And then weaving Bob into so much more of Harry's backstory, and giving him a more human and interesting backstory of his own—well, it works, we'll leave it at that.

Show!Murphy—I mean, she looks all wrong for the character, aside from being appropriately short, but she's got the performance down pat. She does such good exasperated I-am-trying-to-be-professional-here and I love her. On one hand it's a shame to lose "adorable perky blonde" Murphy, because watching that play out on screen would have been a trip, but it's also cool to have a Hispanic Murphy. It's one of a few different ways they sneak some diversity into the story, which it needs, because guys. Guys. I love Jim Butcher, as both a writer and a person, but he's very white, and it shows. He absolutely defaults to white, not maliciously but unthinkingly, and taking a chance to correct that is a good thing.

I wonder if this diner Harry goes to several times in the first episode is intended as version of Mac's pub? And Melissa, who could search the Council records without leaving her seat, as a version of Ivy—but if so, completely underused and prematurely discarded. I hope they had better plans for Ivy than that.

Changing the White Council to the High Council was probably another attempt to be Not Racist, which, eh, I applaud the goal and for the most part it's fine, but what were they gonna do about the Black and Grey Councils later? Change them to Low and Medium?

The kid with the monsters is supposed to be in junior high, which would make him at least 12, but he both acts and is treated more like he's 8 or 9. :P

One book-accurate trait of show!Harry is how he's always on the hustle for money because he has no money and I love that. Good noir-style voiceovers, too.

One BIG thing I hate about the show is that they have Harry combining his office and his home. WHAT. NO. HARRY WOULD LITERALLY NEVER DO THAT, TALKS EXPLICITLY ABOUT WHY HE WOULD NEVER DO THAT, AND SCOLDS OTHER PEOPLE FOR DOING THAT. The threshold is a very important magical concept, guys! Did you even read the books!

Uncle Justin Morningway vs. Justin duMorne is such an interesting thing, and one of the few instances where I think I actually like the show better?? It's always been so random that Harry happened to get orphaned and picked up by this random dark wizard. It makes a lot more sense that Harry's evil uncle offed his father specifically in order to get custody of Harry. It streamlines a lot of things about Harry's backstory—his mother's "grey magic" past, his father's death, his iffy training, Justin's death, everything. It does appear that they eliminated Elaine from the story, with Bob taking her place as little Harry's BFF, but I can deal with that because Elaine's been underutilized anyway.

The invention of a kid for Murphy is more mysterious to me, especially since, as far as I can recall, they never really went anywhere with that. Maybe she would have been some sort of Maggie replacement at some point?

Also this kid-with-the-monsters (his name is Scott) confuses me. He's been hidden from the Council, given the ravens as protectors (possibly by his birth parents? it's never explained), bad guys are trying to find him, all because he has The Gift. Well, if The Gift just means magic, that's not that unusual. I mean, the Council already has as many wizards as it can handle, the rising generation is mostly just a tiresome opportunity for someone to go all Sith on 'em, and lesser talents are frankly beneath their concern. (I have issues with the Council.) So either that's a significant worldbuilding change, or Scott is something way bigger than just another wizard.

Speaking of, lol@ the Doombox being such a big deal? Anyone can blow stuff up. Even mortals can blow stuff up, but Harry Dresden can definitely blow stuff up without needing a special box cooked up over centuries of delicate research. BUT HEY. They ended the first episode with Harry blowing up a building. You can't ask for a better Harry moment than that!