#the short version of a too long post i wrote yesterday

[yellow-yarrow]

I'm still very fascinated by "Girl Child Communism/Revolution"

Someone before the revolution writes something called "Mirova 82/ Mirova Cycle", where Girl Child Communism is "the ghostly apparition of..." .. of communism or the world spirit perhaps? possibly predicting the revolution, but also predicting that it's something that will be repeated. The Deserter is waiting for this, it's implied that some people think The Return could be a communist revolution. But then the text also says it's her return, and return of the light, and the pale is also called "her" in the novel, "her" sometimes also sounds like it's about Dora, the light symbolism means the pale (and sometimes love) and we know St Miro is going to get elected soon.. The collage mode update shows a gentrified Martinaise, and the novel a capitalist Mirova. And then there is that part about Målin reflecting the world, almost like an innocence, but the world is wrong and it is the light that is mistaken. Harry and Dora's unborn daughters and the pregnant Dolores Dei dream.

It feels like things are not going to happen the way they are supposed to happen.

And then there is Iosef Lilianovich Dros, waiting for girl child revolution, while not far from him Lillienne is living with her child, Little Lily, who you can ask "Anything that will help me dismantle Capitalism, so that you can inherit Communism, O' Girl Child Revolution?"

and failing the Feld mural check twice gets you this:

Shivers - GO TO THE CHILDREN OF THE BIG SEA. Rhetoric - The big sea... The Big C? That can only mean one thing: Communism. You - Yes, Comrade Zephyr. I shall find them. Girl Child Revolution and Girl Child Communism! Shivers - BOY CHILD FREEDOM. BOY CHILD JUSTICE.

which continues with you talking to Lilienne's twins, who have visited the island where the Deserter lives.

I'm not saying these children are the manifestations of communism or that Dros and Lillienne are related, but there could be some kind of symbolism or parallel here. I made this post a while ago, maybe it has something to do with Lyotard's book, I don't know

GCC is definitely not an innocence, but could be some kind of manifestation of the world spirit, maybe.

[specialized-rexan]

SCREENSHOTS I GOT FROM THE JEREMY JORDAN LIVESTREAM YESTERDAY. especially love the comments on his duck drawings. he was very proud of some of them since he needed to practice before the stream. he admits he does not draw much lol

and here's Lucifer's signature that Jeremy came up with: a cursive capital L attached to a pentagram!

the stream was SO FUN and literally only felt like 20 minutes even tho it was almost an hour

at one point he mentioned he's making pancakes with olive oil now since he has high cholesterol, and that he LOVES how the pancakes turned out. someone responded:

(later someone joked he should make pancakes with bacon grease and he almost shouted (not angrily) "DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE? I JUST SAID I HAVE HIGH CHOLESTEROL. I just said. I had high cholesterol. Are you TRYING. To kill me."

anyway back to screenshots lol)

"Take that, depression!" was a popular quote to write on prints, and he said he hoped we're not depressed and it was very sweet

some more quotes written during the stream and other notes:

"I'm gonna be signing these prints of my boy Lucifer, the short king of Hell"

he drank both a cold smoothie and hot tea during the stream. "Doesn't make any goddamn sense, but here we go."

"It's never too late to fuck up--too late to fuck shit up" (a legitimate accidental stammer. but still perfect in its own way)

"Every time I hear the name 'Shay' I think of my daughter's friend at school. My daughter's obsessed with a friend named Shay. 'S all she talks about. 'Shay Shay Shay Shay Shay Shay.' Shay and Madeline. It's like 'You can be your own person. Clara. You are your own HUMAN.' …HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KATHERINE."

hopes to go to some conventions for Hazbin Hotel. more likely to go to cons in New York, New Jersey (where he lives), or Philly area

"He's just a li'l cutie. :3 Is he really da bosh? :3" (wondering if Lucifer really is the Big Boss of Hell Himself or if it's just more of a title)

"Hope you're not depressed"

" 'Write something Lucifer would say to cheer someone up.' And I think Lucifer would think that… 'SINGING MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!' At least when it comes to rebuilding your relationship with your daughter."

"Guess what's in my smoothie. There are six ingredients. Go."

"…said draw a little duck, so I drew the smallest duck I could. (holds print up to camera then says in small high-pitched voice:) It's a little duck!"

MORE QUOTES UNDER THE CUT. THIS POST IS GETTING LONG ASFQJSKSKSKKS

_____

about his smoothie again: "Obviously, I just went to the gym. So I gotta have some kinda supplement in there. ... WHAT'S THE BASE, Y'ALL? YOU GOTTA HAVE A BASE." (someone could use that audio and give a character a bass guitar lol)

(still about people guessing smoothie ingredients:) "WATER? Why would I put water in my smoothie. (mutters:) Water is for losers. ... Kale! -grins and points at camera- That's it! You win. That's my smoothie."

his smoothie was blueberries, bananas, strawberries, protein powder, almond milk, kale

"…with a hUUGE shmiley faysh! :3" (about a little " =) " smile he wrote with an autograph)

"THAT DUCK IS CUTE!"

"We love, we stan Lilith"

AGGRESSIVELY, ABOUT A JOKE HE MADE: "GET IT?"

Some fatherly advice from Lucifer: "Don't fuck up your lives like I did 😎"

HE SANG THE START OF HELL'S GREATEST DAD AND WANTS A MIMZY-LESS VERSION THAT ACTUALLY HAS AN ENDING QSJFKSKKSKS

he's only seen Hazbin Hotel once, and he had "~champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that's just to staaart~" going through his head for the two+ years between recording his lines and the show airing. he wasn't able to tell anyone it because of non-disclosure stuff, and eventually he even forgot what that song line was from. but it still went through his head

"[Person he was signing an autograph for] is a bi girl [bisexual], and that's pretty baller"

"AN INCREDIBLE DUCK YOU SHALL HAVE"

"Take that depression!! Quack"

"Hold please!" (i just liked imagining Lucifer saying almost any small thing)

Jeremy Jordan says Lucifer is short, and not just that all the other characters are tall (i cannot confirm that that is canon even tho that's what i want LOL) "What gives!? There are short people in this world, and they need some love"

someone asked what he thinks about OC x canon ships. he was confused about what OC means and then when the chat explained, he was confused about how "OC x canon" works. but he figured it out after thinking for a moment. "So basically everybody wants to fuck Lucifer. GOT IT."

"Am I going to Hell for this" (about all the pentagrams he's drawing)

"…so i just did a bunch of stars and hearts around Emery's name 💜"

someone asked about his favorite Hazbin Hotel song, and he answered that season 2 has a rock song he really likes 👀 👀

"(a requested phrase for an autograph:) 'Duck lord loves you no matter what.' ...Don't know what that particularly means but…"

[alexiavettel]

chapter five

"The world was whole then, the sun and the moon together as one"

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!stroll¡reader

word count: 1.7k+

warnings: explicit language, i might’ve accidentally attracted Aston Martin’s good car this year (i wrote this feb 22nd), use of y/n and obviously Charles and reader acting like childs

disclaimer: any photo used is not supposed to represent the reader, are all Pinterest pics that match the context

<<< previous part

Y/n Stroll POV:

March 20th, 2022

Bahrain, Sakhir- first race

After the pre-season testing in Barcelona, that one pic of me with Charles blew up, we are already getting used to the questions about our “relationship”. We got closer after that day in the parking lot, not like best friends but I think I know him better now.

In the two next press conferences, we got paired up together and I was able to calm him down. Everyone noticed, our teams, the public and most important: the sponsors. I am not like his therapist but I can cut him whenever he’s going to fuck up, let’s just say that years of bickering made me used to him being a dick.

Yesterday Ferrari and Aston Martin posted the same video of us taking ice baths together after the quali. Long story short everyone is shipping us, maybe a little too much in my opinion but that’s good for us. Big part of the public tend to forget things pretty easily, like all the records of our F2 days, F3 and even karting pics that let our rivalry very clear. But for some fans it’s just a cute little love story of childhood rivals to lovers, and we are counting everyone believe in this version.

“I am your trainer not your therapist Y/n. Stop thinking loud and focus on the massage!” Derek interrupted my line of thought.

“Don’t be a pussy, man!”

“What? Are you too busy thinking about your boyfriend that you can’t focus on the race?” This little bitch…

“Are you trying to provoke me?”

“Depends, is it working?”

“No ‘cause I guessed your plan first, but why mate?”

“You might not like what I am about to say, but you look too focused on this marketing, business or whatever this shit of a deal is. Like more than in your training or the car performance and I’m worried about you… I know how mad you get when you can’t get the best out of the car”

“Let’s see it”

•

“The pre-season testing proved to be right! Aston Martin is flying! With Stroll in P4 and Vettel in P3. That’s an incredible result for the team. I have to admit Crofty, I am really surprised”

“It doesn’t really surprise me, Martin. Their data were actually good before the season, what really amazes me it’s that incredible maneuver Y/n is doing to overtake her teammate four times world champion Sebastian Vettel in this curve!”

“What a move she pulled out there!” 

“Do you think she can get the pace to use the DRS in Sainz?”

“Considering there’s only 7 laps left I think she can get to him but don’t overtake with those used mediums”

“I agree, and for the record, who is your driver of the day, my dear Crofty?”

“I got to go with Stroll, what an incredible performance. Coming from P15 after the penalty and crawling her way to the podium. The second in her career, by the way!”

“I’m gonna go with Leclerc who even starting from pole had to do an incredible undercut in Verstappen some laps ago. Ferrari’s pits stops and strategies, Leclerc and Sainz deserve this 1-2” 

“Little off topic but since we chose them, have you heard the rumours?”

“About them dating? I don’t know man, I usually don’t care about driver’s life out of the paddock but if it’s true that can influence on the track…”

“Yeah that’s exactly what worries me, Stroll is probably going to have her best year in that car and dating a driver could distract her-“

“And could distract Leclerc as well, he’s trying to be a world champ this year. I don’t know if I could focus on being a champion worrying about my girlfriend in the car ahead or behind me”

“Let’s hope everything goes fine, isn’t it? I always liked their dynamic tho, the rivalry and partnership in F2 were incredible!”

“True I forgot about that! But I honestly think they are not together, probably just got closer in the season break”

“I agree mate. And look! Just what we were talking about before, the last lap ahead of us and the podium is defined: Leclerc, Sainz and Stroll!”

“Wow, Ferrari starting the season with an amazing 1-2! ‘Didn’t expect Aston Martin to be that good! Stroll in P3 with the fastest lap and Vettel in P4! A shame for Red Bull with that double DNF but good for Mercedes with Hamilton in P5 and his new teammate Russell in P6! The pointing zone being completed by: Bottas in P7, Ocon P8, Alonso in P9 and Magnussen are getting their first points this year! This season will be absolute fire!”

•

“What an incredible drive you did today, Y/n! Congrats! I’m absolutely impressed with your performance and the car! How does it feel being back on the podium?”

“Hi guys, hey Ted” the audience erupted in cheers “I don’t have much words to describe how happy I am to be back at the podium. I’m very proud of our car, and being able to see the results after all the hard work is an amazing feeling!”

“‘Have to ask you, do you feel confident about a win this season?”

“Absolutely, I don’t think this is pure luck. There’s plenty of effort in it so we are all looking up for a win and even maybe a championship battle who knows! So yeah, a win for me or for Seb would be really welcome”

“Thank you so much for your time, and that was Y/n Stroll ladies and gentlemen!”

•

“You were amazing today, Stroll. S’such a pleasure being the one to tell you that you are the driver of the day!”

“Wow, I honestly didn’t expect this. Thanks y’all for the votes, it was a really challenging race after starting in P15”

“You did an awesome quali yesterday but got a 10-place grid penalty for changing a power unit, right?”

“Yeah, and still unbelievable I got P3 in the end”

•

Geez what a feeling! But I finally can get at least 2 minutes for myself, my cheeks even hurt from smiling too much. Everything just- No fucking way, my mobile started ringing. I really didn’t want to get up but thank god I did. “Mike Krack” was written on the screen.

“Mike, is everything good?” 

“Hi, yeah everything’s good. And beforehand I know how tired you must be but I need you to do something for me, girl”

“You say like I have a choice how cute” poor Mike but I’m definitely not in the mood right now.

“Sorry Stroll but it’s about that thing. Your managers suggested you both going home in the same car and plane, just like a cute little couple in love”

“Ew don’t say it like this”

“Sorry” he giggled “But yes, why don’t you try it? Would make even more believable after that hug”

Yeah, about that…

I get out of the car and do a little dance (which I will probably regret later) but I don’t even have time to think after jumping to the ground since a red flash came running towards me and hugs my waist taking me off the ground.

I took longer than I should to recognise the “red flash”, but when I felt the smell of white peach and orange blossom I knew right away it was Leclerc.

His perfume had been impregnated in my clothes lately after having to hug each other all the time in public, so when we pulled away from the hug I already knew who it was.

“You did so well!” He opens his helmet’s visor 

“Thanks, you too! You got p1 Leclerc!” He opens my visor this time, holding the sides of my helmet and looking into my eyes, smiling. The way he looks right into them is like he searches a reason to be doing it, or like he knows something I don't, or like he sees the future in my pupils.

“But just to be clear, I hated to hear about you pressing in Sainz over the radio” the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles is actually cute, and the colour of them look like the Mediterranean Sea with a bit of sand depending the way the sun shined on them is so interesting

“Just doing my job, baby” and then Sainz came over to hug us both and talk about the race going to the cooldown room.

“‘M gonna meet him in some minutes. And we are not going to talk about that hug okay?” I told him while sending the said Ferrari driver a message

“Sure sweetheart” he laughs loudly

“Bye Mike, I hate you” call ended and some mental health back

•

“Hey, pretty girl!” I heard as I entered the jet

“Hi Lo” I hugged Lorenzo 

“He’s in a pretty good mood, try not to fight today will you?” he whispered in my ear smiling.

“I’ll try” what an irony, the only seat available is beside Leclerc, but at least Sainz is seated in front of me.

“Wow look who it is! ‘m gonna have nightmares with the front of your car, honey”

“Well, hope you’ll have nightmares with the back of it in the future, honey”

“DAMN! She got you now, mate!” Leclerc finally said something since we met in the parking lot

“Darn it girl, you gave me a hard time, for real. What did your team do to get your car so good? Tell me”

“Magicians never reveal their secrets, dear Carlos”

“I wouldn't be surprised if Toto or Horner start to suspect Aston of cheating next race”

“You talk like Binoto wouldn’t do it too-”

“You’re such a buzzkiler, you know that right?” Leclerc interrupted me as per usual.

“‘m not even talking to you, golden boy”

“By the way why are you here, Stroll?” Sainz asked while untangling his charger cable.

“You told him about-” I ask Leclerc

“Yep obviously”

“About being the cutest couple not couple of the paddock? Yes, he told me and I loved every single part of it” Sainz said smirking and I swear it took all of me to not smack this smirk out of his face.

“So that’s your answer right there, we need to act like a couple. But I hope this doesn’t fall into routine, I like to go back with my dad…”

“So classic coming from the daddy’s girl” he gags at the term

“I’m not even gonna answer you, Leclerc. You make me tired, and I’m too happy to waste my time with you. Good night Lo, good night Sainz!

“You know it’s just a two hours flight to Jeddah, right sleepyhead?” he pokes my forehead annoyingly 

“And good night Leclerc”

@laura-naruto-fan1998 @honeyric3 @tempo-rary-fix hope you enjoyed <3

my taglist!!

[sailorsplatoon]

Chapter 5 of a Dedf1sh fanfic I wrote

I meant to post this yesterday, but its fineeeee. This one might be simultaneously my favorite and least favorite chapter.

Also, a little announcement! I have an ao3 account now, so if you would rather, you can read this fic on there. Here's the link! I will likely post all the chapters on here, along with on there. I may or may not also make edits on the version on ao3. (The storyline itself will not be different, so don't worry! Also, this has a title now! It's This Forgotten Melody!)

Also, remember how I said this fic was super short? Yeah, this is the second-to-last chapter. I apologize if you were hoping for a longer story, but I hope that you can still enjoy it!

First

Previous

Next

Read it on ao3

Chapter 5 below!

(TW: memory loss, vomiting, mention of blood, mention of medical procedures, swearing, also I'm not sure if sanitization counts as major character death but I thought I'd put it here just in case)

Pop! Ahato shot as many balloons as they could. They’d been struggling to beat this test for a long time, but they were certain they could finish it today. They’d been taking a short break— maybe a little over a week?— and they were ready to try again. They leapt over the washers as they approached. Jump, splat, dodge, swim, almost there. The last few crates were coming up, they’d never made it this far before. And… BAM! Ahato finally completed the test! They super jumped back to the station platform to receive their mem cake. 

Ahato’s hearts sank into their stomach. No. Not this memory. Anything but this memory. They ran back to the train, hiding the small spongey figure in their hand so they didn’t have to see it. They couldn’t do this. They didn’t want to have this memory anymore, it hurt too much. Ahato took a seat on the train, refusing to make eye contact with Iso Padre.

“Ahato, is something wrong?” He asked, worried for their wellbeing. They didn’t answer. They could barely hear him with how loud their thoughts were. 

The train pulled into the central station and they stood up, dropping the mem cake on the floor behind them. It showed a young octoling wearing a beanie with a similar symbol as Ahato’s hat.

1 watch the tears roll down your face.

1 w1sh 1 could do th1s with grace.

You learned that 1 must leave th1s place.

Their little brother. They’d vaguely mentioned him, but it seemed like they missed him desperately. It was only then that Iso Padre realized why they were at the central station. He shouted, “Ahato wait!” But the doors closed before he could reach them.

Ahato’s boots clunked along the station platform. They had left their duffel bag on the train, full of all their stuff. Shit. It was fine. No going back now anyway.

“Get rid of these memories, please. I want to just focus on my music and nothing else. It’s been eight days, right?” Ahato faced the telephone, their legs tumbling. Were they really making the right choice?

“Awesome sauce. The doctors will lead you to the right room.” The phone’s manner of speaking sounded unnatural for its monotone, electric voice. Two green octolings seemed to appear out of nowhere to escort Ahato to wherever they were supposed to go. These octolings were dressed differently than the ones they’d met in the tests. Rather than the military uniforms Ahato was used to, they wore white masks and lab coats. 

They walked in eerie silence. Ahato’s body trembled, but they couldn’t tell if it was from excitement or fear. They were ready to not have the emotions and trauma holding them back, but at the same time they couldn’t help but think of Iso Padre’s warning. No, they were going to do this. They had to stop being such a coward. They were always such a coward. They were too scared to fight, too scared to leave the army before Marina did, too scared to try to find their family, too scared to do anything. They didn’t want to be afraid anymore. Ahato had been so lost in their thoughts that they hadn’t even noticed they’d arrived at a train. This one had just one car and looked nothing like what Ahato had ridden on before. It was a grey monochrome and devoid of the graffiti that they’d become so accustomed to seeing on the trains here. Ahato had expected to walk in and be greeted by another sea cucumber conductor, but the only other beings in the car were the octoling escorts. The train slowly began to move, despite the fact that Ahato hadn’t seen anyone operating it. 

Just a few minutes later, there was a loud screech as the train came to a halt. The doors slid open to reveal a another large set of doors just a few feet away from the train. Surrounding them were concrete walls, the only light being the lamp posts carefully placed in the  corners of the concrete prison. A scanner near the door beeped as one of the octolings placed an ID badge near it and the lock clicked open. They held the door for Ahato as they slowly trudged through. All three of their hearts were beating so loudly they could cause an avalanche. They walked through yet another set of doors. It felt as though the passageways themselves were telling Ahato to turn back. They entered what looked like an operating room for an autopsy. There was no cot, just a large metal table that one of the octolings gestured for them to lay down on. It was cold and uncomfortable, even the barracks in the army were better. 

“Hey is there any chance that I could get a more comfortable-”

“Don’t flip your wig already, [SLANG NOT FOUND]! You won’t even know the table’s there once we start this process to the max!” The phone’s horrible use of slang interrupted Ahato’s request. They thought it was still at the station, but lo and behold it was sitting at the other end of the room. Maybe it was similar to how there were multiple C.Q. Cumbers? “Now just chillax while the docs prep for your sanitization.”  

There was a sudden sharp pain in Ahato’s arm as an octoling jabbed them with an IV tube leading to a bag full of some strange liquid. It was a vibrant blueish-green. Ahato had never seen anything like it before. It was so beautiful. They felt dizzy the instant it entered their arm. The cold table met their back before they’d even noticed they fell over. The burning was intense, as if their skin was going to melt off, but miraculously, it didn’t hurt. They knew they were in pain, but it wasn’t painful. They welcomed it. In return for their cooperation, they were rewarded with instant relief. Ahato had no clue what the liquid was, but it was extremely relaxing. They felt the tension in their muscles release and their hearts begin to slow. The shadow of the telephone blocked out the florescent lights as they let sleep fall over them.

***

A blur sat over the world like a thick fog. Ahato kneeled on a floating platform in a vaporware abyss, vomiting. But rather than the contents of their stomach being old food and gastric acid, it is a continuous flow of small spongey mem cakes. Each one that poured out of Ahato’s body pulled a new pain out with it. Some they recognized, and some entirely new. As they spewed from their body, they dissipated in some different, more violent form than the next.

A pair of scissors.

A routine ha1rut, no b1g deal.

Snip my tentacles w1th your steel.

Create a new Ach1lles’ heel.

Ripped in half.

The ghost of an octoling.

For my f1ngers, your blood a sheet.

1 stress to keep your heart a-beat.

But soon 1 must adm1t defeat.

Falling down down down through the floor.

An inkling with long green tentacles dressed in a bright traffic vest.

A squ1d, 1nkl1ng, my enemy.

1s 1t fun to hurt so many?

For th1s you w1ll face penalty.

Cackling as they superjump away from piles of corpses.

A young octoling wearing a beanie with a symbol on it that Ahato knew they recognized, but couldn’t quite figure out from where.

1 watch the tears roll down your face.

1 w1sh 1 could do th1s with grace.

You learned that 1 must…

Leave.

1 must…

They crushed this one with their own fist.

1 must let myself forget.

***

“Don’t give them too much, we want a DJ not a dead fish,” the mechanic voice slowly pulled them back to consciousness. It wasn’t speaking how it used to. It used some new dialect that they didn’t recognize, but could still somehow understand. 

They couldn’t move. They couldn’t speak. Even coherent thought was difficult. 

“Twelve,” they managed to force some noise out of their mouth. Why twelve? They didn’t have time to fully consider why that was the word they chose because the thought had already been pushed away to make room for the blissful emptiness once again.

“They’re awake,” the monotone voice continued and their eyes slowly began to focus on the telephone. “How do you feel?”

“Four,” was the only thing they were able to make themself say.

“Get to your turntables, and get to work,” the phone instructed. They slid off the metal table, their boots clunked along the concrete as they made their way to the train.

***

They pulled the headphones over their ears and began to toil at the turntables. They worked fast. No distractions, no mistakes, no emotion. It was perfect.

#0 shell - for what they were before

#1 progress - for what they made

#2 ripped - for why they did it

# 3 [ERROR] - f̴̦̼̉̾̃̔ȍ̸͕̞̰r̷̨̠͉̆̃͜ ̸̤̝̻͂̏͘ẉ̶̳̽͗̋ḩ̷̹̀ả̴͍ţ̷̃̂͝ ̴̛̻͔͊͒̊t̸͓̘́̕͠h̴͔̰̹̞̋͑̌̈́è̴͉̣͎̲͂̅͒y̴̺̫͂̈́͌͝ ̵̨̝̳͒ḷ̸̺̣͊͊͘o̶͕͂s̷̼̀̊̉t̸͔̞̃̇̍̐

#4 dunno - for how they felt

#5 thirsty - for its lust for more

#6 frisk - for what they missed

#7 [DATA LOST] - f̴̣̎̽ȍ̷̙͓̰̔r̴̮͈̯̼̃̈́̀͠ ̵̜͖̽̄̕w̷̻̖̿̂́h̵̼̰̽õ̵͉̩ ̴̫̅̇̽ţ̶͈̇̒ḩ̵̅e̷̞̿̔͜ý̴̭ ̴̰͓̲̈́̋l̶̺̽̾ë̸͙̼́̒̒f̸̱̽͒t̷̞͈̑ͅ

#8 regret - for their rare thoughts

#9 party - for the chaos of their dreams

#10 [ACCESS DENIED] - f̴̫̥̬͆ó̸̜̏̽r̸̙̣̦̔̃ ̵̧̛̳̟͕̊w̸̨̠̩̮̍h̷̥̝̄͜a̶̮̼̦͛̕ṭ̵̬̻̐͑ ̷̰̎c̵̢̜̼͝ơ̵̙̅̉̔ͅū̷̠̀̕͠l̵̡͍͎͌d̶̦̩̃̈́͂̏ ̷̗͓͐̾h̵̗̹̟͆͂̈́͠a̴̡̝͔̽̏v̸̦̼̈́e̷̺̼̊̐͂̾ ̷͖̈́̄̚b̶̗̒́̐͠ẹ̵̗̈́́͌͘e̸̺̋̽̇n̴̥̞̄̋̓

#11 above - for where they wish they stayed

#12 awake - for what they are

# 13 shade - for their death

#14 crush - for their life

#15 [SLANG NOT FOUND] - f̵̰̒̄̀̔ö̸̯͇́r̴̪̠͝͠ ̴̡͙̠̞͗t̴̠̭̯̋ẖ̸̈́̐̽ͅe̶͔̟̞̲̔̈i̸͙͉͔̋̓̓r̷̦͍̪̄ ̴̟͔̾m̴̧̭̻̈͌́́͜i̸͉̰̲͓̊s̴͈͘͝ṯ̵̢̩͈̌a̵̡̫͆̿̉͝ǩ̶̡̖͕͂͝e̸̫̔͆ś̴̖̙̬͛̃

#16 salty - for their fights

#17 [INSUFFICIENT ID] - f̴̠͗̑̇̑o̵̙͑͛͒r̶͇͋̈́̐̑ ̵̻͌t̶̡͍̟͙͝h̶̘̺̖͒̓͗̀ỉ̷͕́̆̄ȅ̵̻̑r̸̫̓̏͐ ̷͉̑ṕ̸̖̒̕ŕ̸̳͍̳̦͗͊ĕ̸̛̮̩̯͠ͅd̵͕̱̻̐e̵̮͔̰͋͂̉̈́c̴̭̯͈̃̈́͘e̴̝͇̠͍̾̌s̶̨̨̜̊̕͠s̵̮̭̉̊͝o̷͇̐r̷͔̜͎̙̆s̵̨̢͆͆̌̔

#18 [FILE DELETED] - f̵̟͕̙͗̀̾̃o̷͕͖̊r̷͍͔̾͝ ̴͕̽̉ẃ̸̹̳͝h̵̤̭͈͚̒͑͆a̵͛͜͝t̵̨̼͈͊̅͝ ̵͉͇͙̌͒��͐ͅt̶̡̬͍̞̏͌̌̀ḣ̶̛̰̼̞͉e̷͓͍̐y̸̥̎̏ ̷͖̀ĝ̴̱̫̊a̴̧̓̑͝î̷͈̱͜ń̷̢̝̬̃̄̚ȅ̵̗̻̞̠͐̋d̸̺̰̹̼̅

#19 bless - for how they should be

Splattack! (Octo) - for who they are

It was finished. Their album. Their magnum opus. Created by-

Created by… They’d forgotten their name. What had happened that caused them to forget their name? They weren’t particularly broken up about it. They needed a DJ alias anyway. DJ Dedf1sh. It seemed right. They wouldn’t have any luck thinking of something else anyway, they could feel the thought already being washed away. It suited their music. Simple and perfect and empty. DJ Dedf1sh.

[houseofbrat]

Someone continuing on with their 15 minutes of fame...

I find this whole situation really weird. Or perhaps it’s not weird, just very convenient.

1. I came across this yesterday morning when I saw two videos posted to my YT feed via Sky News. I know things like that can happen to any people anywhere. But it just seemed a little weird that in the initial version I heard on Sky News, it was just about the conversation with Lady Susan Hussey. Just seemed like something that could only have made the news if it was a slow news day or something. When you live in a country (USA) with an opioid crisis, shootings, inflation, culture wars, crazy political shit, police violence, etc., it’s a really low bar for someone to make it on a national news broadcast for something like this. But different country. 

2. I didn’t read/hear anything about the “hair” allegations until I was reading the comments on a DListed post about it. Interesting that the initial tweets about it didn’t mention her hair. It’s almost as if the initial complaint making the rounds wasn’t offensive enough. 

However, the story about LSH moving her hair to see her name tag just didn’t sound right to me. LSH was a lady-in-waiting for THE QUEEN for sixty years. That’s not nothing. Last I recall, no one is supposed to touch the monarch in public unless she touches you first. Due to that, I have a hard time believing Lady Susan just randomly touches people and moves their hair in order to see their name tag. That seems more like something a security officer would be doing to check credentials. By the time you get around to being near the monarch or consort in this case, your credentials should have already been checked by security. Not after. I’ve never met a lady-in-waiting, but I have a hard time believing that they would do more than shake your hand if you’re a stranger. 

3. Then I read what @helenaaurellia wrote about Lady Susan’s family in the transcript, and I think @helenaaurellia is right. It doesn’t make any sense if you know who LSH is. However, most people don’t know anything about Lady Susan, so it’s easy to believe everything she is being accused of.  

4. I came across the massive Messie Condo twitter thread on a fluke when I was looking at other things on twitter last night. The whole scenario makes a lot more sense--even though that twitter feed is long--after reading it. The “witness” Mandu Reid sure did a LOT of interviews on UK media for something that allegedly happened less than 48 hours before. Whenever someone is that organized and gets that many interviews completed in a short amount of time, my first thought is that it is all pr. In this case, it probably is. 

5. There’s a tangential relationship between Meghan and the people involved. One of the reporters who got the first interview can be associated easily not only with the Sussex Squad but Meghan and her strongwrite account. It’s too much of a coincidence. 

6. Lainey reminded us all of Lady Susan’s transgression against Meghan--stating the truth that the marriage will fail. It’s not a coincidence that LSH was singled out then, was it? Meghan isn’t just hitting back at the BRF; she’s hitting back at someone she has a grudge against. It’s not just about attempting to spoil Will & Kate’s Boston trip. She’s settling scores with this. One stone, multiple birds.

I haven’t read all the UK press about this mess. Just haven’t. I don’t dispute that things like this can happen to anyone anywhere. I have a relative who has visited London on more than a hundred occasions for short trips but will tell you that he doesn’t like going to London due to how he has been treated in the past. He’s not a white dude. (Doesn’t have any problem going Frankfurt or Paris though.) 

But there is clearly more to this than the simple victim/perpetrator storyline that has been bandied about already. 

[cheerstotheelites-if]

Oh god it's been a year already??? April 8??? Wasn't it just March yesterday?

Oh, uh, s h i t

Happy 1 Year Anniversary! (Holy crap)

Man, time sure is f a s t. One year of being here with you guys and just vibing. Zamn. That's crazy.

I know I keep saying this, but I really do appreciate all of you guys for sticking around for so long. I never expected the silly little stories with my silly little characters 13 year old me was writing and creating would come to this in the end. It's honestly just so mind boggling, and I want to say thank you. Thank you for showing your support, for being so patient with me, for those that send such fun asks and prompts to answer, and just being so cool in general. Don't say that you aren't. I'll fight ye on that. I also thank the lurkers in my followers, I know you and I don't tango too much with interactions but your likes, reblogs or just generally looking through is enough for me.

I'd also like to thank the mutuals and friends I made in the IF community and in the Write Club Discord server for being so cool and helpful. I never expected to make any mutuals here, and I'm honestly glad I did.

I'm kissing you all platonically on the cheek because you deserve it for being the best. 💙💙💙

Now, for the Anniversary Special content...... I don't have one written. I already have a short one for 1k Followers and is just waiting to be posted, but I forgot to prep one for the Anniversary. 🥲😭😭

I was planning to make a small IF to commomerate it, but college finals reared its ugly head like a disease so I didn't have enough time. So, instead, I'll just give y'all some Beta and BtS facts about this IF before it came to be as it is now. Hope that'll suffice, and I promise I'll make it up to y'all next year. 😭😭

Back in the earliest drafts for this IF, the prologue was supposed to start with a student Magus summoning an eldritch being from the underside of Reflection and it backfiring completely. The genre was supposed to fully embrace supernatural, but I ended up scrapping it instead for what we have now.

Beta Zephyrine was a mean girl diva; supposedly Fleur's opposite and bully. I changed it after deciding that Zeph's better off being Fleur's opposite in a more positive way (the version Zeph currently is) and genuinely being Fleur's friend, than whatever toxic mess the former was.

Eliseo was originally gonna be the big bad because of well… look at him. I ended up not doing that, because… look at him. He's simpable material, unfortunately.

Emery wasn't supposed to exist. I didn't originally intend for MC to learn nor have magic in the original drafts, thus no Familiar needed either, and let them be a non-magic character in the story. I changed my mind when I thought about how unfair that'll be, since that'll just make MC more of a damsel than a person with autonomy.

The 1586 Accident and the Willowsberg family as a whole was originally supposed to stay as a "myth" and unexplored as a whole. They were supposed to be mentioned only in passing and not talked about again.

In the early drafts, Fleur's parents were already dead/gone and she was working as her family bank's CEO at the start of the story. She was an outside figure that you'll meet through either Zephyrine or Weylyn.

Cooper was originally more of a loveable asshole back in his early characterization stages; smug know-it-all that loves to be a mischief maker. I have no idea what change happened to make him the hyper golden retriever he is now, but I don't regret it and I don't wanna know.

The choice of setting the IF in a rural city and in Lumintoile Academia specifically was based on old oneshots I wrote about Weylyn and Fleur 2-3 years ago. If you want to know what those oneshots are about, both of them are confessions scenes with Weylyn being the confessor.

Before Ophelia came to be as the 6th RO, she was originally supposed to be an antagonist, mostly due to a oneshot I wrote about her as a concept character 2 years ago. There were scenes planned where she would fight the cast and drama would ensue, but knowing what I know, I ended up scrapping the idea.

Weylyn's characterization didn't change much from his beta, surprisingly, and I think he's the only one who has retained his beta traits (besides some mild redesigning). I always intended him to be, well, him. The only things that did change are in spoiler territory, but very important to his characterization.

There were supposed to be 2 more side characters that you'll be introduced to in the early chapters with Fleur being a young CEO idea in mind, which were her two younger estranged cousins from her mother's side. I scrapped the idea for now, but they might make an appearance soon.

I had ideas to implement variables that show preferrences and proficiency in what magic MC uses, intending for them (MC) to be a jack-of-all trades instead of focusing solely on one magic. But then I thought about the long list of already existing variables I've written down, and went nope.

Eliseo & Fleur had the most rewrites and rehauls on their characterization. From what I can count and remember until recently, it's 10.

When I was making Emery, and basing him off of the Familiar Poll results, he was intented to be younger, 3 years old to be exact. I decided to age him up to 5 years old, because a) he would be too powerful, b) baby, c) "sir, that is a toddler and fresh out of infancy", and d) he would be too powerful.

The inspiration for the IF's whole vibes are from Kiersten White's 'The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein', V.C. Andrew's 'My Sweet Audrina', Laurie Anderson's 'Speak', Kyoukai no Kanata, Wonder Egg Priority, and the Dark Academia aesthetic itself.

This was originally supposed to be a self-contained story, more of a moment in the cast's life than something that will affect them in the long run or be actively going through with time, until I decided to add it into a growing timeline of events alongside other IF's.

[phillipcole]

Post-AGT Appearance 1323: The Kelly Clarkson Show October 30

Since she found out about it Kelly Clarkson would have been eager to sing 58-23. When she found out I couldn't sing it she and her staff would have still wanted me on the show. So I would have exaggerated the severity of my mother's illness, leading to the misuse of the term "dying" on the Today Show and elsewhere. Mom has 5 illnesses. One of them could kill her any night. 2 others could go into high gear and finish her off in a short time. She would be healthier than that but with all 5 illnesses.

Hank Williams, Jr. would have already contracted to release his version of 58-23 and would be considering some of the other songs on the album. So we would have recommended that he sing my part. That would have happened last Wednesday. This would open the show. This qualifies as a new chapter because of the adjustments to the song.

Clarkson: Welcome! Some of you might have heard about a new country song called 58-23. Well, I've been dying to sing it, but Phil Cole, who wrote and recorded it is feeling under the weather lately, so he can't be with us today. So we needed a different duet partner, and we found the greatest: Hank Williams, Jr.! Howdy Hank.

Williams: Glad to be here.

Clarkson: Do you like this song?

Williams: I do like it! I'm getting ready to record it.

Clarkson: Will you be looking for a duet partner?

Williams: Consider this an audition.

Clarkson: I better do good then. Here goes:

Williams: (Chorus) I'm 58. She's 23.

Marrying her might be the death of me.

Her body is perfect from toes to hair.

The places in between, well I love to go there.

I'm not robbin' the cradle. She's in the playpen,

And I might need them both soon, not sure when.

Williams: She should make more money than I'll ever earn.

She's a real good catch but what should I do?

My friends all say, She's too young for you."

(Repeat chorus)

Clarkson: I'm 23. He's 58.

That's a long gap I won't debate,

But he's healthy and strong and he loves me to death.

We ran a race last week. I's the one out of breath.

He has no degree, but he knows about life.

Yesterday he asked me to become his wife.

Some say, "Don't do it. He's much too old.

Soon his brain will be soft and his hands will be cold."

I know all about life expectancy,

But his kisses, oh they give me ecstasy.

So I'll give him a chance anyhow,

And I'm gonna start writing my wedding vow.

(Repeat chorus)

Williams and Clarkson: We're gonna start writing our wedding vows,

And we're gonna make this all work out somehow.

Clarkson: He's 58. I'm 23,

But I know he is the man for me.

Clarkson: Thank you very much! Stay tuned for Hank Williams Jr.

[electricrogue]

So fair warning chances are this post will piss you off if you're a Nightwish fan. Especially the kind that thinks Tuomas is Mozart or Beethoven reincarnated or something. Also long ass post ahead.

That being said... I went to a concert of theirs yesterday. Am I a Nightwish fan? I wouldn't go that far. Like yes I know their songs well enough to sing along to them and they have nice lyrics I will give them that... But the problem is I don't like Tuomas as a person. I liked Marco even less but he's gone now so yeah that problem was solved. So why did I go to the concert, then? Because basically I was curious to see what the fuss is about. That and I do like Floor no not like that and I figured just because she's singing for a douche doesn't mean I have to skip going to see her live.

Now about the show... Good stuff first. They have nice special effects like fire and smoke and all, probably the nicest I've seen out of all the concerts in this genre that I've been to. This is also because they had the biggest stage, like I know given the space Within Temptation and Epica have nice effects too, but alas people in my country are idiots and Nightwish is the only symphonic metal band most of them know about. Which has the nasty consequence that everyone else is demoted to shittier stages.

Also, Floor is a damn good singer I will give her that. The best they had in some ways, and I say this as someone who is a Tarja fan (yes, this is why I don't like Tuomas, I know it wasn't only his fault she left but the way I see it it was a dumbass cockfight between two idiots - not a fan of Tarja's husband either). But I digress. The nice thing about Floor is that she has a mother fucking impressive range. Like Tarja could hit those high notes and Anette could be creepy and haunting... But Floor can do both. She can go from belting the high notes of Shoemaker to the grunts in Tribal in a heartbeat and I love that for her. If Nightwish would be her band there's a very good chance they'd be my second favorite band in the genre. Second one because nothing will ever top Within Temptation for me but still.

... but the thing is, it's not her band. It's Tuomas' band and that... Is painfully obvious. Like don't get me wrong I know he writes the music and the lyrics and that he's a damn good composer. Not the best and not the Mozart of our times thank you very much. But the thing is, there is a reason why these are called female fronted metal bands. They'd be fucked without the girls. And yes Floor is center stage but Tuomas is also center stage towering over her and the camera focuses on him mostly and everyone is like "oh our good friend Tuomas wrote this when he was drunk on a submarine" or something and yeah. Also what pisses the hell out of me, they never introduced the band. Like every band I know has this moment near the end where the main singer goes through the members of the band and introduces them to the audience. And that seems common sense to me because it's a fucking teamwork and everyone plays their part so they should be at least acknowledged. But that didn't happen. Without any previous knowledge of the band you'd go back home knowing there's a dude Tuomas who wrote Nemo and that's it. And while we're at it do NOT get me started on that song and the very creepy undertones of "I don't mean anything unless you love me" because yeah... Really not liking the implications of that.

Also, and this is not on Floor, she's doing her best... But the change of lead singers hurt them. Like you have songs like Nemo and Sleeping Sun which are Tarja's. Then you have Imaginaerum which is Anette's and nothing Floor does will ever change that. I'm not saying she's bad at singing them because she's not, it's just that you are used to the studio versions and live it sounds differently and you have a moment of wtf happened. Fucking Holopainen happened that's what

You know what the short version of all this is? One that will make sense to probably only four people that follow me but yeah. Nightwish are basically the X-Men of symphonic metal. Like sure they're the most famous in their genre and they are flashy and impressive and all... But they would be better if they let the girl(s) loose more. If you ask me symphonic metal is a kind of thing that needs a woman's touch. And by touch I mean the woman should be in charge. Come to think at it two of the most successful bands in the genre are lead by girls and it worked for them. Delain is basically led by the less smarter Westerholt and look where that got them

[luxshine]

Smallish update because I’ve seen some missunderstandigns going on.

Ok, so yesterday was a day. 

I am still reeling of a lot of it, which is why I have not been able to do a transcription of the panel (although the ones I’ve reblogged, made by other people, are very accurate and their only “fault” is not being in my head to know why I had some troubles translating Guillermo’s long answers as he spoke too quickly and too passionately so I had to paraphrase rather than translate literally as I did with the shorter answers, and at some points, I admit my short term memory may have failed me)

I am trying to get the panel off the facebook page to put it on my youtube (With permission from Harlecon’s organizer, Harleyquinnarts, whom you should all follow in Instagram and follow Harlecon on facebook because she’s amazing and made this possible by giving us the space to have the panel. BTW, I have heard that there IS a version already on youtube? If it is, please, please, please, put a link back to Harlecon on it, yes? These small cons deserve all our support)

I am ALSO trying to contact Adrian Fogarty, the dubbing director (NOT the translator, as some people are mis-reporting) who is, in the end, the one who has the answers as to where the hell the “Me too” came from.

Which is the missreporting I;ve seen going around, and which I need to adress.

During the panel, Mr. Rojas went from talking about the “Original” Script to the “DUB” Original Script without making it obvious that there was a different. Understand, for MOST actors, when they talk about the Original Script, they’re NOT talking about the Original English Script. They don’t get that. They get the Original TRANSLATED script, which can be then FURTHER changed by them or the director in order to fit cadence, and lip sync. 

And yes, we come again to my old nemesis, lip sync.

So he said that the original script said “Me Too”, as a reply to Cas’s “I love you”, and THEN Alejandro Fogarty, who has a TON of experience adapting on the fly, and is a very respected dubbing director, changed it to “And I you,Cas” because it fit better Dean’s lip movements.

This DOESN’T mean that Fogarty ADDED the Me Too. IT WAS on the Original DUB Script that Guillermo was reading.

He said that Dean didn’t reciprocate Castiel’s words too, but that was AFTER he said he didn’t HEAR what Dean originally said (Which, granted, could be him misremembering as he admitted he had a bad short term memory). This is not to say that he lied when he said Dean didn’t reciprocate, but that that’ts the reason why two different versions of what he said may be running around. This was when I said that then we had to ask Fogarty about the origin of the dub script “Me Too” as he’d probably be the one who knows.

He also said that while it was a surprise, that the writers had been very subtle creating the story between Dean and Castiel, and that it made SENSE. 

There are a few things I could say here about voice actor culture, but I won’t as it could muddy the issue and I want to wait until I finish the transcription.

What he corrected from my previous assumptions was that there was no Warner Bros quality control. They finish dubbing, then send it to air and as far as HE knows, there’s no WB exec checking the files. He admitted he might be wrong on that, but it’s more probable that he’s right. So IF the “Me too” was added, there would be no final check to stop it. HOWEVER, there has been no request to RE-Dub the line, so we can assume that, now that the horse is out of the barn, WB and CW don’t really care that, in Mexico and LataM, Dean Winchester is bisexual, canonically.

Which brings us back to the REAL question: Where did that Me Too came from?

Now, I want to make clear this I DON’T BELIEVE THERE’S A BIG CW CONSPIRACY TO KEEP DEAN STRAIGHT. What I do believe is that, due to a bunch of mismanagement of the series, PR, confusion of what their demography is, old-boys club mentality AND good ol’ network censorship, they may have ended up accidentally creating the ILLUSION of one.

And to be honest, I preffer to know the ACTUAL truth, which could very well be a rogue dub director (Which, if you check my previous posts, was a possibility I raised, that if there HAD been a rogue dub translator, the director HAD to be on it too), or a different audio version sent from the US.

I’ve seen script captures from the Original English Script that were leaked, and there Dean doesn’t reply ANYTHING. Not “Me too”, not “Don’t do this, CAs”. HE just goes 404,File not found, Being Loved by an angel, doesn’t compute.

So we know that DEan’s answer in english was Ad libbed by Jensen. 

However, we also know that Jensen had to re-record some lines. 

So he could’ve ad-libbed again, something different (Either by choice, or by the director’s request. I frankly don’t know nor care. I just assume that there were two different readings and the “wrong” one was sent to the Latam Translator. Wrong here to mean “not the one that aired in the US”)

And the only way we’re going to get closer to which was it, is asking the dub director, which is what I am trying to do. And I do hope that by now, you trust me enough to know that, IF the answer was “Oh, yeah, we decided that it was more logical” , I’ll tell you straight (Or, you know, organize another panel so that you hear it from the horse’s mouth just as I did with Guillermo Rojas)

Also, yes, Guillermo didn’t say the words “I ship Destiel” or “I am a Heller”. However, he DID say that the ending of the arc of Dean and Castiel having a love story was the closing of the series, that Dean reciprocating Cas’s feelings made it make sense and that it was beautiful. So he is a heller, in spirit if not in name.

ETA: I had to fix Adrian Fogarty’s name as someone pointed out I wrote “Alejandro Fogarty” and this proves that I need at least a week of sleep as this show has broken my brain.

[ourmondobongo]

Hi :) Have u read Volume 34's official translation? I was just reading the part where Levi's talking to his fallen comrades and sth struck me. So in the original translation he says "When you all dedicated your hearts, was it to trample on the lives of others?" And in the following he goes "No. The dream *you* all had, of a world without titans, that was an exhaustingly idealistic world"

So in the previous translation Levi apparently said "when *we* dreamed of a world without titans" and was referring to himself evidently as one of those dreamers too. So what do you think this alteration changes about *his own* ideals and goal in following the same path as his friends in the SC? What could this mean for his character when he's excluding himself of owning such ideals? We all know part of the reason Levi joined the SC - other than saving humanity - was to breathe a fresh air outside the walls. He said many times he wanted to rid the world of titans so humanity could be free but does this right here add new information to our knowledge? Sorry for the long ask and thank you in advance!

Hi!!

This was supposed to be short but ended up almost like a whole meta lmao sorry

Well, we're in the same boat regarding what the new ENG translation means (I was wondering about it yesterday).

I know some other old Japanese volumes of snk had a few sentences rewritten in the final physical version (i.e; Reiner during his fight with Eren in chapters 118-120, and the "unrequited love" kanji too). But since the release in Japan was months ago, and no one mentioned changes in Levi's speech, I assume the "we" continued in the original up to these days (someone correct me if I'm wrong, please).

Thus, until it's proved that Yams himself changed the kanji to "all of you" or similar, I think it's wiser to stick to what Yams himself had written. He wrote "oretachi", then it's "we" - with Levi included. And based on our experience with the mixed translations confusions, we know by now how things get tangled up in the official translations. Which is a pity, imo.

So what do you think this alteration changes about *his own* ideals and goal in following the same path as his friends in the SC? What could this mean for his character when he's excluding himself of owning such ideals?

I'm sticking to the first official translations + the Japanese version, so nothing changes in my view. But for readers non-aware of the issue, I think this might solidify a bit of a borderline issue about what Levi's goals were regarding his overall purpose in joining the Survey Corps and fighting.

Like, most people already mistakenly think that Levi was 1) just fighting the whole time for Erwin [as his "vassal"], 2) to avenge Erwin's and SC soldiers' death, 3) to kill Zeke, 4) was Ackerbonded with Erwin in a way that made him lost his life's purpose when his "liege" died. So, imo, the way the new translation makes Levi exclude himself from fighting for the dream of one day humanity living free from the terror of Titans will suggest (or hint) more that Levi was like a tool fighting more for the sake of the dead rather than the living - and worse, because he didn't believe in what his comrades were fighting for.

Idk if I can explain it properly, but in other words, it's like this new translation makes Levi skeptical of the reason why all his comrades were fighting for, like, almost as if he was distancing himself/ looking down on their "naive hopes for a better future" without including himself in the same hopeful boat?! And I think Yams didn't mean it like that but rather that they (Levi included) were ALL together in the bloody fight and life of sacrifice and devoted hearts because they hoped one day that hellish struggle against the nearly impossible would result in something hopeful too?!

Also, of course, we know Levi's post-RtS narrative has a clear focus on giving meaning to fallen comrades' deaths (and there is nothing wrong with it). But this moment right here in chapter 136 seems a clear recall of the main goal of the Survey Corps as a whole (and also Levi's). The chapter title is "Devote your hearts" or "Dedicate your hearts", and the chapter is an answer to all the terror we saw happening in chapter 134, and chapter 135 - where the Marleyan Commander asked, "What do you think those people are fighting for?" And the SC's goal was primarily Humanity's freedom. So I think it's a misstep of the official translation to take Levi out of this shared dream since Yams himself purposely included Levi in it.

Additionally, while it's actually arguable that the word "dream" hold different weights for everyone individually, as each character has their own particular wish - dream - life goal regarding WHY they joined the SC, and WHY they were fighting Eren now at the cost of their lives, I think it's quite clear that together, in the collective sense, everyone just wanted to see a world where people would live with some dignity and free of constant fear of Titans. In other words, "To put an end to their recurring nightmare", as Levi explains with his own words in chapter 56. Unless, again, we're dealing with translation mistakes.

We all know part of the reason Levi joined the SC - other than saving humanity - was to breathe a fresh air outside the walls. He said many times he wanted to rid the world of titans so humanity could be free but does this right here add new information to our knowledge?

This passage of Levi you mentioned is one of the most significant and yet (and sadly) one of the most brushed off pieces of his narrative.

I really feel like the weight of his words here is real, and he meant it... (I also have a more personal and philosophical take on what Yams might have intended to imply here, but it's long and relates to the Yeager brothers take on life and freedom so let's skip it for now)

"I finally saw what I'd been missing"

Interestingly, just like Hanji’s personal reason to join the SC is more directly revealed in a close-up interview, Levi restated in a close up that he joined the SC after also realizing that he had various reasons to follow Erwin and for join the SC:

"The feeling of the wind when we’re going beyond the walls… it’s different from the wind in the Underground or even the wind inside the wall, and it’s quite alluring."

Now, I know Levi is the most selfless character of AOT and he never did something with the intention of particularly being benefited/fulfilled in the way Erwin, Armin, Kenny, and other people did. But remembering that Levi wanted freedom doesn't mean Levi is any less selfless than he is, nor that he had a dream to give up or wanted something selfishly for himself. In fact, there is nothing that makes it denigrating or less of Levi's devotion to humanity in him wanting the freedom outside the Walls.

It's even more relevant to remember that at the time Levi got the chance to breathe the air outside the Walls he was literally riding in the unknown world outside of Wall Maria - where barely no man was capable of wandering out and coming back alive. So it wasn't a matter of Levi simply getting out of the Underground and retaking the land humanity lost to the Titans, but Levi really realizing there was more to life out there and him wanting to know the opportunities hidden in the freedom that the Titans had stolen from humanity (at that time, Paradis). It's a very credible and worthy reason to join the "SC Dreamer Bunch", together with his sense that he had the power (and responsibility) to help humanity achieve freedom and that - looking up to this ideal from Erwin - he could make this his life mission.

So to me, these are some of the many layers of his character that help people to feel closer to him irl, and to be more empathetic to his battles and plight. And I think that WIT did a terrible thing in presenting Levi without showing these parts of him because most people know Levi by the anime characterization. It's really a disservice to his character.

And now, with the official translation that had been already putting Levi under a stronger "I live to get revenge for monkey's deed" light, I think this final official translation does another disservice to Levi too. Also, there are more problems with the other sentences in this monologue that I feel it has mixed up what Yams also intended to show especially regarding Levi's close-up on Hanji and Erwin...

Man - I wish I was fluent in Japanese lmao

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Tues 15 June ‘21

Venice MP filming is underway, romantic canalside walks and gondola ride are a GO, as seen in pap pics and many (many) videos from fans gathered on site! I’m sure they appreciated all the little sheer polo showing off Harry’s tits, who doesn’t love a good hiddies moment huh? GQ probably did too; they already wrote a whole article about the outfit Harry wore yesterday! But even they can’t say anything better about those shorts than that they look ���presentable” LMAO. TAKE THAT corduroy shorts! What about those fans though? Well, they are certainly bringing us plenty of videos- Harry handing co-star David up out of a boat like a sweet gentleman, aww, Harry skipping about between shots, Harry with a lil purse, Harry just trying to live his life and like go eat food when not working, etc etc... maybe folks could take a few steps back? Looks like Harry is really getting hounded through the tiny Venetian streets and on set, by pretty large crowds, to the extent of disrupting filming, oh no. Harry signed a picture for a nearby school-- “stay outrageous”, again dating it (June ‘21) but possibly by the end of the day he was wishing people would not be quite so outrageous.

Meanwhile the antis stuck at home are frothing at the mouth trying to convince larries (or maybe themselves?) that we now ship David and Harry- uh sorry sweaty but having the ability to understand that holding hands for cameras does not have to mean that people are really fucking is actually a pretty major core component of the whole larrie thing?! But good luck with that! It makes sense that seeing Harry acting lovey dovey with someone that they know he isn’t actually sleeping with would throw them in a tizzy though, after all their whole identity is based on denying that’s a thing that’s possible... poor things, baby’s first cognitive dissonance! It can really make you question things huh, and that’s always rough.

But they’re not the only ones with things to say about Harry! Superstar of stage and screen Mandy Patinkin posted video of himself and his wife getting four minutes’ worth of lightning round pop culture trivia questions wrong, but he nails one of em- asked what a Harry song (WS) is about, he remains silent. Well done, that’s just what Harry would have said! And Selma Hayek told a story about Harry coming to her house where her pet owl (who Harry was enthralled with and wanted to hang out with him) regurgitated an owl pellet in his hair! LOL poor Harry; naturally she said he handled it very well and was very sweet. Yes, it’s possible Harry’s interactions with her were because she’s in Marvel’s Eternals; it’s also possible he was at her house because her husband is the head of the company that owns Gucci, or for some other reason entirely.

Liam’s Lonely Bug NFTs went on sale today!! Liam was excited and happy and all over the internet posting and chatting and watching it all happen. The auctions are still open for most of them so final news on that tomorrow! Today was just Liam being hype about it- “Fandom is working its magic thank you!” he said when his request to get LB trending got it up there worldwide in like half an hour, he said more interactive content will be added to the NFTs as time goes on, that Louis cooking was “very funny”, when asked to describe his NFT collection in one word he chose “liberating,” and his hair guy reposted comments Liam has been making in the discord talking about maybe going blond with a “hmmm”. Oooh? He did a long live talking about everything, patching in the other Lonely Bug creators and quite a few other NFT people (enough that at one point Liam jokes that there are enough of them to dress up as the band to satisfy commenters asking for 1D stuff). Anyway one of them compares this NFT to ‘the original Nirvana recordings’ hmmm I mean… that is another thing that is rare I guess yes, but that’s very specific and random sir? “I know for some of you this NFT world is slightly different than what you’re used to from me,” said Liam, “but your support so far has been amazing (as always!)”

And not only that- another new Liam song coming?! We haven’t even got the one yet! (or maybe this is the same one..?) Anyway, school pal S-X (Liam hyped his music a couple weeks ago) talked about him in an interview, saying "Liam is a good friend of mine and we've got stuff coming soon. I don't want to say too much as you know how those One Direction fans get [HEYYYY… oh wait yeah he’s totally right]- when I mention him I can't even open my Twitter. But we've got a song coming and it's a smash. It's sooner than you think and that's all I can say." OH RILLY?? INTERESTING! I was just eyeing him for the artist showcase Liam said he was gonna do on veeps but OKAY! He also said "We're both from Wolverhampton and I was in college with him at the same time, and going from that to global stardom at 17 is not normal for any person. To have toured the world, done stadium tours and everything, he is one of the most famous people in the world. So he will go through scrutiny from the media and whatever, but I can tell you he is one of the nicest people, one of the most genuine people I've ever met. He's a real good friend of mine."

And speaking of unexpected songs; another Zayn demo leak was posted! This time he’s singing You with Ellie Goulding; the song ended up being released by Troye Sivan.

And Anne Marie posted “rehearsals for #OURSONG live! I just love this song so much. I also miss your face @niallhoran” with a picture of them singing away; apparently she’s referring to the recording of the acoustic version which is out on Friday. Niall posted a picture of the Danish football player who collapsed during play the other day giving a thumbs up from the hospital; indeed it is very good to see that he’s all right.

[wild-west-wind]

Here’s that story I wrote yesterday. Posted on AO3 which I was previously unaware of, because some folks said that’d be easier for them and I live to serve.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Major Character Death

Fandom: Original Work

Additional Tags: cw blood, cw violence, it's a messy little thing, and it is probably obvious I didn't put much thought into it

Grasshopper Pie     

In the hills above the town of Grasshopper, where once monsters roams the earth, something lies beneath the ground. Not quite dead, but not quite alive. Hungry.

(A little short story I banged out in a day. I don't like it.) (Overall there's a lot I'd like to change, but this is an exercise for me in saying "That's good enough," rather than lamenting over multiple versions of the same story.)

[ Link ]

Beneath the cut is the first ~1000 words or so.

About an hour north of Billings there’s a little town framed in a hollow by rocks as bright green as avocado flesh. Twenty people live there, give or take. Once there was a glacier nearby, full of dead grasshoppers, slowly melting, quickly rotting as they fell from their icy tomb. Free, finally, but only for a moment.

They called this town Grasshopper.

A dirty black truck rolled down Grasshopper’s main street, mostly empty, lined with forgotten storefronts. A milliner only identifiable from the painted sign on the brick side wall of a slumping building. An assay office, windows broken, stood beside the very much open general store. A diner flicked off it’s lights down the way. Much to Amaya Zigor’s dismay, they closed for lunch.

In the sagebrush speckled hills above Grasshopper, a group of students set up camp. Between open sided tents and awnings lay broad pits. In the green soil lay black fragments of bones. Long dead. Unlike the grasshoppers in the long-gone glacier, these would not rot. They already had.

Amaya pulled her truck up to the dig site, and backed it up. Fresh supplies in her back seat. Enough beer to drown a horse in her cooler. She wasn’t thinking about that, she wasn’t thinking about how her ice cream was melting in her plastic grocery bag, seeping into her upholstery. She was thinking about the fossils, the rocks. She was thinking they were wrong.

In the hills above Grasshopper, Montana, there were fossils. Bones of dinosaurs, bones of small reptiles. One damaged, but more-or-less articulated wing from an Azhdarchid that Jacob, a new student in the lab, was certain can be identified to the genus Quetzalcoatlus, which would have been cause enough to justify the night’s drinking if he hadn’t been full of shit.

Amaya sat down over the edge of one of their pits. Exposed in the upheaved earth, was a narrow bank of glassy black earth. Below it bone fragments. Above it, more bone fragments. Above that, the physical boundary marking the end of the Cretaceous, and the extinction of the non-avian dinosaurs. There were two impacts here, separated by centuries at least. Probably millennia. The fossils below the older impact were jumbled. Impact assemblages, she and her labmates were certain, but even those were odd. The taphonomy was strange. Bones died jet black, but in every fragment, every hollow, grew bright blue minerals, large and irregular crystal forms with no appreciable cleavage. The running guess was the mineral chalcanthite, but it was much too hard for a fingernail to scratch. In truth, no one, not even Dr.  Lee, had the slightest idea what was going on here.

Amaya Zigor was certain that, however this dig ended, she and her lab wound either be the stars of the next Society of Vertebrate Paleontology conference (next year in sunny Brisbane), or complete laughing stocks for their outrageous publications. Either way, she would leave Montana with a PhD, and folks would know her name.

A jolt ran up Amaya’s back, and she nearly fell into the pit, as Dr. Lee rested a heavy hand on her shoulder. His round face framed by long sideburns and horn-rimmed glasses.

“Amaya,” he said smiling, “You’ve been sitting here for half an hour.”

Amaya took a deep breath, and forced out a pale imitation of a laugh, “I have a lot to think about.”

“Don’t we all!” he said, sitting beside her, a little too close, “Have you seen pit three today? Shayna has been finding some excellent crocodilian material over there. Mostly osteoderms and teeth, but enough to diagnose a species I’m sure.”

Amaya didn’t respond. Lee was overly fond of Shayna. The whole lab knew they were fucking. The fossils in the ground knew they were fucking. The only person who didn’t know was the other Dr. Lee, whose hydrogeology projects out in California kept them apart just long enough for Dr. Lee the paleontologist to engage with his favorite students for some intensive extracurriculars. It didn’t help that Shayna screamed like a banshee in bed.

“I might have you go over and assist her tomorrow. I know you’ve been hard at work over here, but I think her finds should are worthy of pulling you off this side.”

Amaya turned to face her advisor, and flatly said “Of course.” Lee heard what he wanted.

“Good, I’m glad you understand. Try to get these jacketed by tonight, will you,” he said, gesturing to the eroded limb bones in pit seven, “wouldn’t want them to break down any more than they have.”

Amaya agreed, and retrieved her tools.

Even in the early evening, the summer sun beat down hard through a cloudless sky. Heat poured off the green earth below, light glinting off the blue crystals pocking the dig site. With dental picks and a brush at her side, Amaya set to work, exposing the underside of the therapod femur exposed in pit seven. She labored past sunset, prepped and dug and cleaned as she heard her lab around the campfire, heard them crack open cans of beer, and pass around a bottle of Wild Turkey. Crickets sang on the warm clear earth. Their natural rhythm undulating, rising and falling and thrumming with some unseen energy.

The ground under Amaya’s knees seemed to grow only warmer as she cleared rock away. As the air grew cool above her, the pit was hot and wet. A foul, implacable odor hung inside.

Most folks don’t know that fossils smell. Some of rotten eggs, some like a fresh asphalt road on a hot summer day. Pit 7 didn’t smell like either. Pit 7 smelled like electricity, like an old TV the moment it turned off, as static danced about the dying light on the screen, whipping motes of dust into a frenzy.

Below the femur the blue crystals grew more common, filling not just cracks in bone, but every pore of the rock as well. With every scrape of her pick the reek of the pit grew stronger. Blue sand replacing the green dust at the pit floor, until the blue crystal stopped giving way. Amaya scratched at in, and pulled at it, and watched as her picks failed against it. She pulled herself out of the pit, and staggered, her legs asleep and electric, back to the truck, where she retrieved a diamond pick, and a hammer. Chills ran down her arms and legs, as she found the air outside the pit was icy cold, frost creeping up the edges of her windows.

[lindyloosims]

So I’m going to enter a writing competition, it’s in the romance category and I’ve been given a list of words and/or phrases to shoehorn into the short story(it said use 3 minimum so I used them all because I’m a plonker). I’ve written one, but again my doubts have set in. I don’t know if it’s any good so I am going to post it under the cut if anyone would like to read it and tell me what they think. You’d be doing me a massive favour, if it’s crap then I’d be saving myself the embarrassment of entering something that’s way over my head.

The words/phrases are in bold btw:

Moving On

It was supposed to be a happy occasion, and it was, for everyone else around me at least. I didn’t have to come, it wasn’t compulsory, I could have just tossed the invitation in the bin and forgotten about it. I didn’t though, instead I bought a dress and high heels and I made a conscious decision to RSVP.

I sat through a myriad of speeches, each one even more boring than the last, I didn’t dare look up for fear of showing the melancholy that was painted all over my face. I couldn’t watch the object of my desire gazing lovingly at his new bride, like he used to gaze at me. I hated her, she was everything I wasn’t, she was blonde, she was beautiful, and she was now married to him! My one that got away, well that would imply that I let him go, which was not the case. As his father droned on, his entire speech drenched in nostalgia, reminiscing about a little boy who no longer existed, I thought back to our childhood and how we had promised to be together forever. Kids promise all kinds of things, when you’re young you think that life is so simple, there is no grey, only black and white. You love someone, they love you back, you’ll be together forever! Simple as that! You don’t allow for a tiny Goddess to come between you when you least expect it, a delicate little flower who appeared to be harmless that brought out the hunter/gatherer instincts in this man who was no longer my boy. Yes, I hated her, for something that was out of her control. Could you make someone fall in love with you? If so, how? Was there a manual somewhere that I wasn’t aware of? How did she do it? Was it the way she batted those crystal blue eyes, or was it the way she laughed and effortlessly tossed her long hair back? I really wanted to know!

The time had finally come, I had had too much champagne, the bubbles were wreaking havoc with my nose as I resisted the urge to rub it completely off my face. He stood up, I looked at him then and it was like staring at the sun for too long, he burned my eyes with his toothy smile. Like the cat that got the cream, he’d tossed me aside like curdled milk, he had upgraded! “I’d just like to say a few words…that I wrote…” His voice, after everything why did it still give me tingles? I closed my eyes and listened, pretending that we were the only two people in the room and he was talking to me, but when he said her name, I was back in reality. “To my wife, Rebecca! Man, I’ll never tire of hearing that, my wife!” To see him look down at her like she was the most precious thing in the world, that little chuckle that escaped his lips, it was like a dagger to my heart. “Okay here goes; I told the stars about you, my twin soul. I asked them to bring you to me, and they answered!” I wanted to gag, I was no longer heartbroken, I was angry. His twin soul? Who was this person? I didn’t know this version of him, he was never this romantic! At least not with me! He rambled on and on about love and destiny, I zoned in and out, “Like I said in our vows, I promise to cherish you, and I do! You complete me, each day I love you more, today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow, always know that I am forever yours. Rebecca, I love you!” I felt like heaving as a massive applause erupted and the bride and groom kissed passionately to the delight of the cheering wedding party, I slid my chair back noisily and pushed myself up. I staggered towards the exit of the church hall, trying so very hard not to fall flat on my face in these ridiculously high heels that I’d insisted on wearing to prove a point that was completely non-existent, there was no upstaging that bride.

Outside in the fresh air, I felt like I could breathe again. Underneath the chatter and chinking of champagne glasses, I could hear birds chirping in the distance and the trees rustling in the gentle breeze. “Not a wedding person I take it?” This masculine voice that came out of nowhere made my breath catch in my throat. I turned in the direction of the voice and leaning against the brick wall was a tall, slender young man with sandy blond hair. He was wearing a white shirt that had never seen an iron, black trousers and smart shoes that were slightly scuffed at each toe. It didn’t look like he knew how to put on a tie properly bless him, it just hung there with a giant loose knot, one long end tucked under his belt and a very short end poking into a gap in his shirt. His hands were jammed in each pocket and his legs were crossed as he continued to lean with the greatest of ease, tilting his head towards me.

“It’s complicated!” I replied weakly as he nodded an understanding.

“Personally, I hate weddings, which isn’t ideal when you’re in a band that plays mostly at weddings!” A little smirk formed around his mouth, it was cute, “Trust me, the irony is not lost on me!” He chuckled and shook his head, his messy blond hair swaying in unison. I wasn’t expecting his hand in front of me, letting out a small gasp which he found highly amusing. “I’m Brendan by the way!” I shook the hand he had offered me, feeling the callouses on his fingers, he was a guitar player.

“Natalie!”

“So, Natalie, bride or groom?” I must have looked just as confused as I felt when he smiled and reworded his question, “Are you friends with the bride or the groom?”

“Oh, neither!” I lied, but was it really a lie? We hadn’t been friends in a very long time, back when I was still in pigtails, and he still collected Pokémon cards.

“That does sound complicated.” He nodded down at the ground, hands back in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on his heels, “Are you sure you’re at the right wedding?” The laugh that burst from my throat surprised even me, a couple of hours ago I wasn’t at the right wedding, that song was reverberating around my head, It Should’ve Been Me, but now? I didn’t really know how I felt.

“The truth is…” I started to confess to this stranger, stopping myself to reassess the situation. He was in the wedding band, he didn’t know anyone, where was the harm? “Well, the truth is that the groom is my ex!” I heard him groan and suck his teeth, when I said it out loud, it did sound really messed up.

“So, what’s this? Closure?”

“Not exactly, I don’t really know what it is. I don’t even know why I’m here! He broke my heart and I just wanted to know why! Why her? I thought what we had was magical, a real fairy tale!” I closed my eyes, feeling extremely vulnerable all of a sudden, “I suppose the magic I felt was totally one-sided!”

 “Well…” He sighed slightly, as if he was carefully choosing his next words, “I believe that magic comes in pieces, like a love story, if you meet someone and it’s truly meant to be, then the pieces all come together like a beautiful mosaic!” He glanced at my face for a moment, and I caught a sparkle in his eyes, they were an emerald green and they brought out the sparse freckles on his cheeks, “I’m sorry, I must sound like a complete weirdo!” He breathed out a small laugh and looked down at his shoes, it was then that I noticed the dimples on his cheeks when he smiled.

“No, no you’re making a lot more sense than some of those speeches!”

“I-I write songs, I’m a hopeless romantic, it’s my kryptonite! I understand break-ups and feeling devastated when your ex moves on with someone else, but that’s the whole point, he’s moved on. You should too, because it’s all we have left, moving on? The only other thing to do is to dwell in the past and that would be a shame!” He kicked the ground with the toe of his shoe, now those scuffs made sense. A wave of cheers exploded from inside and a dark-haired man popped his head out of the doors.

“Brendan! We’re up!” He nodded to the man and headed inside, but not before stopping in the doorway and turning to me once more.

“Listen, we finish here at ten so…well if you’d like…” He was blushing, I studied his face while he was looking anywhere but at me, he was handsome. He had a boyish charm to him, he ran his hand through his hair as he let out a breathy laugh, “I may seem like I talk a lot, I do, but I’m also a good listener. I’m just offering you a friendly ear if…well I also enjoy your company so…”

“Yes!” I talked over him as his face lit up, maybe it was the redness of his cheeks, but I could’ve sworn he was glowing.

“Well okay then, I’ll see you later?”

“You will!” He waved at me, with a goofy smile as he entered the hall backwards, almost tripping over as he went. I no longer felt bitter, I no longer felt like there was no me without him! I wasn’t invisible, someone had noticed me, a cute boy who wrote songs and gave rather good advice. Brendan, with his freckles and his dimples and his inability to dress properly at a formal function. Everything he was not, complete opposites in fact! Who knew if this would go anywhere, but I had to at least try!

Moving on? I could give it a go.

[veliseraptor]

got tagged for two fic writer memes yesterday! the one from @ameliarating first:

How many works do you have on AO3?

509.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

3,432,24. dang! that’s a lot of words

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I have written for...counting the MCU as one fandom, on AO3 I have written for 32 fandoms, including at least one work in:

MCU, The Sillmarillion, Caliban Leandros, both DC and Marvel Comics, the book Barebacked by Kit Whitfield, Doctrine of Labyrinths, Doctor Who, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Wars, Black Jewels, Dragon Age, Lucifer, Dexter, Temeraire, Gentleman Bastard Sequence, Supernatural, A Song of Ice and Fire, Greek Mythology, Lymond Chronicles, Merlin BBC, Code Geass, Good Omens,  Death Note, and White Collar.

this is not a comprehensive list of every fandom I’ve ever written for, because it is not including ones that live only on FFN or Livejournal.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Life In Reverse tops the list (11066), aka my 200k Loki-centric post-Thor AU fic that I wrote between 2012 and 2018 and with which I have a decidedly complex relationship at this point. I love it but also I no longer think it’s my best work but also I credit it with teaching me a fuck of a lot about writing and writing longer projects in general.

With Absolute Splendor is rapidly catching up, to my astonishment (6559), despite having been posted for less than half as long. Aka the wedding planning fic that’s really just me mucking about in my Jiang Cheng and my Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian feelings, at length.

some good mistakes (4618) was my first foray into the Untamed version of “characters who hate each other going on resentful roadtrips together, feat. Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng.” I have gone on to write others and will continue to write more.

Unraveling (3069) is a little bit of a surprise but also not - it was originally just sort of WWP stuff for my ‘what if people remembered that blunt force trauma is a really bad thing actually’ problem that pops up sometimes, re: Loki at the end of The Avengers, and then it kind of turned into a whole thing. I personally think it’s the weakest of the installments of the series it belongs to, but it is the first one and also the one that gets least into the broader family dysfunction and depression stuff that probably is less everyone’s thing (but is what came out this fic that mattered more to me, personally).

I am a little surprised to see Steve Rogers’ Halfway House for Notorious Supervillains (3068) here too! I was expecting one of the more...idk, mainstream concepts from the MCU to win out? But I also wasn’t expecting two Untamed fics to make it here, either. But I am stupid proud of this fic even if it is very extraordinarily unfinished. This is one of those unfinished fics that will nag at me unless and until I finish it, at least a little, because the concept - if I do say so myself - is so goddamn good and I think I was executing it pretty well, too.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Pretty much never. I was never very good at it and now I’d feel like I had to go back and reply to all of them and I just. I can’t do that. and when I do try to just start at the beginning I get overwhelmed very fast and start avoiding it.

Basically I decided that if it’s a decision between wrestling with myself to reply to comments versus actually doing more writing I’m going to end up landing on the latter as feeling both more doable and more productive.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

probably it’s The Worlds Forgotten, the Words Forbidden for sheer level of “so then what was the point” of it all. but like. I’ve definitely written a few extraordinarily miserable fics, and by “a few” I kind of mean “a lot.” Other nominees I’d put down might be nor autumn falter (for currently personally making me suffer most), once there was a way to get back home (for I think having the ouchiest summary), and Waiting for the Summer Rain (which remains one of my personal favorite Supernatural fics I wrote).

but like. there are 43 fics I have marked with Major Character Death warnings and every single one of those, pretty much, has a downer ending.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written several though not in a long time! My craziest probably remains the Morgoth/Cthulhu short I wrote that actually got sporked because someone took it seriously (???) enough to do that. But the craziest that actually has any merit, (I’d argue) is probably the Maeglin/Viserys one.

not linking to either, if you want to go find them I don’t think it’ll be that hard.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeah, a few times on a few different things. More if you count “people who seem to like the fic but love telling you how much they hate the female characters you’re writing about in it” as ‘hate’ which I would but isn’t, you know, quite as straightforward. If I had a nickel for every time someone bitched about Jane in Life in Reverse, though...lots of nickels.

Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Sure do! But what does ‘what kind’ mean, I don’t know how to answer that question. I feel tempted to just put in my “Mike’s Hard Kinks” image edit in this space.

I guess usually I tend to write smut that at least involves a little bit of a kink? I don’t think I’d feel comfortable writing entirely kinkless smut. I think I’d feel weird about it, the same way I do when I write really nice fic, generally.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think I did back when but I don’t remember anything about it. I feel like it was one of those mass data scraping things where my fic happened to be among those caught up in it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! several actually, mostly into Russian and Chinese. every time it happens I’m immensely flattered that someone wants to put in that kind of work on something I wrote.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I think I’d be very, very bad at it.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Depends on when you ask me! I could probably give you a top five but then I’d remember six that I forgot to mention five minutes later. I guess if I were to think about ships that feel like they hold very special particular places in my heart... Xue Yang/Xiao Xingchen, Steve Rogers/Loki, and Min/Rand come to mind.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

oh god do you want the whole list cause honestly I could just like. screencap the entirety of my “in progress” folder with a crying emoji watermarked over it. and that’s not getting into the fics that are like...half formed babies in my consciousness but not anywhere on paper.

and also I just hate to admit that I might not finish something.

you know what? the Lucifer/Good Omens crossover I started would’ve been a lot of fun. I’m probably never going to finish it, but it would’ve been great if I had. I know other people did it too but my contribution could’ve been amazing.

I can say this very boldly with the near certainty that I’m not going to finish the fic so no one will be able to disagree.

(...also the Last Herald-Mage fix it. that was going to be a good fic too, and also will probably languish unfinished forever.)

What are your writing strengths?

I’m pretty sure dialogue is my strongest point. Dialogue and emotions, which is why I always end up just wanting to write about characters talking and having feelings at each other.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing action sequences throws me into conniptions every time I have to do it and I will take drastic actions sometimes to avoid doing it at all, which probably weakens the work as a whole.

Also, I don’t plan ahead and this means I write myself into corners kind of a lot. If I wasn’t writing long, dense fic it wouldn’t be a problem but here we are.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I tend to avoid it unless it’s in the context of, as in CQL/MDZS fic, leaving certain terminology untranslated. I’m pretty sure I almost never write full exchanges of dialogue in a different language than I’m using for the narration within a fic, and generally speaking my reaction to other people doing it is at least mildly negative.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter was technically the first fandom I wrote for, but it was a crack fic I wrote to make my friends laugh more than anything; I tend to count Wheel of Time as my first actual fandom for which I wrote my first actual fic.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

some days the answer is “all of them” and some day the answer is “I don’t like anything I’ve written in my entire life” and I never like giving this a definitive answer. yesterday I reread efforts in a common cause (the bound copy!! thanks @spockandawe) and you know what, that was a good fic and I’m proud of it, so I’m going with that one, for this meme, today.

tagging: @mostfacinorous, @jaggedcliffs, @silvysartfulness, @mikkeneko, @kasasagi-eye, @curiosity-killed, how many people am I supposed to tag for this one anyway

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Idle Chat with Gavin

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a feature which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

The CN server was recently graced with a new feature called 随便聊聊 (“Idle Chat”), where you can select a mood and talk to the love interests about work, life, and studies :>

Idle Chat with: Kiro / Lucien / Shaw / Victor

[ WORK - Topic 1: Overtime ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Yay! I don’t have to work overtime today! Want to have a sumptuous meal together?

Gavin: Good timing. I’m off shift today

Gavin: Apart from eating

Gavin: We can find other things to do.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I’m sorry I’m sorry. I might reach an hour late today. I have to work overtime suddenly to handle something...

Gavin: It’s okay

Gavin: I’ll come over to accompany you during that one hour. That way, you won’t be considered late.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I really don’t want to work overtime any longer. I’ve been sleeping right after getting home for so many consecutive days, and have absolutely no personal time...

Gavin: Have you been sleeping well?

Gavin: Once you’re done with this busy period, let’s go for a long vacation together.

-

[ WORK - Topic 2: Income ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I had a shock when I checked the accounts. Without realising it, I’ve saved so much money! It shows that persevering in financial management is very useful!

Gavin: I find it very useful too.

Gavin: When I was young, I’d put my future into a savings box

Gavin: Now, I’ll put my future into our hands.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Why is it always so easy to spend money, but so difficult to earn it

Gavin: Mm, I also wonder about this question...

Gavin: Want to do up a plan to save money together?

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Barely ten minutes after being happy about payday, several notification messages for arrears arrived! I shouldn’t have purchased so many things last month!

Gavin: This month, I’ll be your shopping supervisor.

Gavin: If there’s anything you want to buy, let me know.

-

[ WORK - Topic 3: Program Progress ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Do you still remember the program I talked to you about before? After persistent hard work, we managed to secure a partnership!

Gavin: I remember

Gavin: Back then, you said you wouldn’t give up

Gavin: I’m also very happy to see that you didn’t give up.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: There hasn’t been any progress in the recent program... All inspiration has been expended, and our operations have also been exhausted...

Gavin: Want to go for a short trip with me over the weekend?

Gavin: To refresh your inspiration and motivation. 

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: The data provided by the partner is absurd! If I were to go along with them, nothing would be done! 

Gavin: In that case, give them an absurd proposal

Gavin: They’ll know where they’ve gone wrong.

-

[ WORK - Topic 4: Program Results ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: This program was successfully approved! I think my incredibly~ superb proposal was one of the contributory factors! We can officially start working on it tomorrow!

Gavin: Will you be busy from tomorrow onwards then?

Gavin: If you need to work overtime during this period

Gavin: Remember to call me.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Is the work produced for the other party really okay... Even if it gets approved, there still seems to be something missing

Gavin: The MC I know is a persistent and confident girl

Gavin: No one can deny your accomplishments.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: When will the program finally get approved! There are seventeen versions stuffed in my file!!!

Gavin: A senior from the Task Force once told me a technique to examining clues

Gavin: List down the mistakes made in the previous seventeen versions

Gavin: And you’ll have new inspiration.

💙

[ LIFE - Topic 1: Losing Weight ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Did you notice anything different about me today? I’ll give you three seconds to think about it! Forget it, I think you might not have been able to see it...

Gavin: Cough, I could tell. You’ve lost weight.

Gavin: But it wasn’t because of what I saw. I used another method to determine it.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Should I reach a compromise with my weight? I’ve been losing weight then gaining weight - it feels like a waste of time.

Gavin: There’s no need to lose weight

Gavin: No matter what, you’ll always be the best-looking in my eyes

Gavin: ...mm, but exercise is still needed. 

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I shouldn’t have gone for the dinner party yesterday! When I weighed myself today, I really became heavier by 1kg!

Gavin: It shows that you’ve gained 1kg of happiness yesterday

Gavin: Let it get absorbed into your body.

-

[ LIFE - Topic 2: Meals ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I accidentally bought too much... I don’t think I need so many vegetables since I’m cooking for myself...

Gavin: In that case, could you leave me a share?

Gavin: I’ll pay for the food expenses

Gavin: Mm, and I’ll also be responsible for washing the dishes and being an assistant.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I bought the snack which is especially popular on the internet. But when I ate it, I didn’t think it was great. Has my taste become disconnected with the masses?

Gavin: Taste is something personal

Gavin: Want to head out together today?

Gavin: We’ll find snacks that you and I both find delicious

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I made an absolutely perfect bento for lunch at work, but my hand slipped when taking it out of the microwave and it all fell out!

Gavin: Did you scald your hand?

Gavin: Let’s have dinner together.

Gavin: To make up for the regret of not being able to eat your absolutely perfect bento.

-

[ LIFE - Topic 3: Reading ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The science fiction book I read today is really interesting! It’s also especially rich in imagination. I think you’ll like the style as well!

Gavin: All right.

Gavin: But I’ve been busy with missions these days, so I might not have time to read

Gavin: I’ve noted down the name of the book. I’ll tell you my thoughts after reading it.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I was looking for spiritual comfort when I came across a book on philosophy. In the end, I think I’ve become even more perplexed by the world... Have you felt this way too?

Gavin: Mm, there are times I’m perplexed by the world too

Gavin: But once I think about you, I’ll feel calmer.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Today, I borrowed a murder mystery novel from the library. Some unreasonable reader wrote the name of the murderer directly on the first page!! 

Gavin: ...

Gavin: That’s really going overboard. 

Gavin: Try treating it as backwards reasoning, and observe the process. 

-

[ LIFE - Topic 4: Games]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I’ve finally defeated that difficult boss! I was even thinking that if I failed again, I’d refer to the guide. I didn’t expect to beat it!

Gavin: That level is really difficult

Gavin: I only managed to defeat it after reading the guide

Gavin: You’re very strong - a first-rate gamer.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I think I’ve outgrown the age of game addiction. I just feel like leaving once I go online. I can’t find anything interesting...

Gavin: Maybe you just temporarily lack motivation towards this game

Gavin: Want to try a new game?

Gavin: Minor recommended a multi-player game involving solving riddles

Gavin: I think you should like it.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I met a cheater in the game again! People who ruin the experience of the game are so annoying! It makes me feel like giving up on the game...

Gavin: Report him.

Gavin: People who contravene the rules are being played by the game

Gavin: And not playing the game.

💙

[ SCHOOL - Topic 1: Progress ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The method you taught me is really effective! Today, I finally overcame the temptation to slack off, and successfully completed my task!

Gavin: There are many methods

Gavin: You don’t necessarily have to use the one I taught you

Gavin: But if you can get used to it, it shows that you have a lot of potential.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I’d rather doodle on paper or stare into space than look at the textbook... I’m a girl who’s tired of studying T-T

Gavin: It’s already late - don’t force yourself to read the textbook

Gavin: The girl who’s tired of studying should become a girl who sleeps early

Gavin: That way, she can become a diligent girl tomorrow.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: There are only ten more days till the end of the course, and my learning progress has just begun...

Gavin: There are still ten days

Gavin: Which means there are 240 hours, 14400 minutes

Gavin: If you look at it this way, there’s still time.

-

[ SCHOOL - Topic 2: Homework ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The teacher actually complimented me today. Even though all she said was that my work is neat... I’m still very happy!

Gavin: Even back then, your handwriting was always delicate and neat

Gavin: Just like you as a person.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I can’t help but find excuses to slack off whenever I scan through the questions. I just scanned through five minutes worth of video clips...

Gavin: And now you’ve slacked off by sending me 25 words.

Gavin: Be a little more focused.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Even though there isn’t much homework in each course, when you put them together, it’s basically WAY. TOO. MUCH.

Gavin: When I was in school, I also felt that there was a lot of homework

Gavin: So I would prioritise the easier questions first...

Gavin: It isn’t a special method, but you can try it.

-

[ SCHOOL - Topic 3: Pre-exam Revision ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Today, I memorised all the examinable points. Tomorrow, I’ll be entering the battlefield. Everything has been prepared - all I’m missing is a little bit of courage from you!

Gavin: All right, give me your hand.

Gavin: I have a lot of courage,

Gavin: And I can give it all to you, the one stepping into the battlefield tomorrow.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Although I’ve looked through all the examinable points, I still feel unsure and uneasy...

Gavin: Don’t be anxious. Since you’re done with revision, rest early

Gavin: Tomorrow, I’ll send you to the examination venue.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: It’s too difficult, it’s way too difficult. I really shouldn’t have registered for this class. I still can’t memorise anything when it’s almost the exam...

Gavin: I’ll bring you out for a ride in a while

Gavin: You can share all your grievances and stress with the wind.

-

[ SCHOOL - Topic 4: Post-exam celebration]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: My exam is over! I’ve been freed! And my results were much better than expected!

Gavin: You know your results immediately?

Gavin: Congratulations

Gavin: I’m outside the exam venue. Sparky and I are waiting for you.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: A weight has been lifted off my shoulders since the exam is over. Even though I planned so many celebratory activities, I don’t feel like doing them now...

Gavin: If you don’t have any ideas

Gavin: Leave the planning to me.

Gavin: Wait for me at the entrance of the examination venue. I’ll be there soon.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I’m so angry! I shouldn’t have compared answers with other people! I feel unwell after doing that...

Gavin: Did you get many answers wrong?

Gavin: Since the examination is already over

Gavin: You could alleviate your anger and hunger with me.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hi Ralph. I’ve been catching up on your blog this morning (as one does, I highly suggest a quick perusal of the New York Times, Washington Post, New Yorker, The Guardian and … Dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram for a snapshot of what’s happening the world) and your response re: the stories we tell, and the story of intra-band relationships caught my eye. Reading your thoughts on the relationships all of the boys have with each other was really interesting and brought a lot of joy to my morning, and I agree with your thoughts in large part. Your version of Harry/Liam dynamic especially both made me laugh and struck me as incredibly true. It is exactly how I imagine their relationship, and the description of the two of them as magnets chasing each other around the table made me actually honest to god laugh out loud.

But your thoughts about Harry being someone who finds directness and messiness quite stressful and responds by withdrawing resonated with me on a personal level, and made me think back to another question you answered (at least I’m fairly certain it was you) about mental health in the boys. You said something to the effect of you personally didn’t see much anxiety in Harry/the way Harry presents himself but you know others might. I actually see a fair bit of anxiety in Harry, in ways I recognize from my own experience with anxiety. In particular I see a lot of myself in the various ways Harry responds and reacts to other people, and your thoughts about how Harry and Liam interacts is a good example of that. I’m not sure I’m going to be very successful in my attempt to put this into words, but I will try. Other people, as a general rule, make me incredibly uncomfortable and bring me a lot of stress and always have. To be clear, I am not saying this is the same for Harry, in fact I believe it probably isn’t (he seems to be someone who really enjoys interacting and connecting with a lot of people, at least on a surface level). But one of the things that most freaks me out is that other people all want or need something from me. While I have a therapist who has been indescribably wonderful in helping me understand that most of that is actually my perception of other people and not always reality, the fact still remains that in every interaction I have with other people there’s always part of me that is wondering “what do they need from me, what do they want from me, how do I give it to them, how have I already failed to give it to them, how do I fix it, can I even fix it” and on and on and on. Once again, I am not trying to say that this exact experience of mine has also been an experience of Harry’s. That would be hugely presumptuous and pretty self centered and also based on no real identifiable facts. I’m saying this mostly as background, to explain that I am a person who struggles a great deal with anxiety, and a great deal of that anxiety is fueled by my perception that other people are always wanting/needing things from me that I may or may not be able to give them. On its ugliest days, this anxiety results in me just withdrawing entirely. This is especially true when I am dealing with someone who feels emotionally volatile or unpredictable (I.e. … messy) and/or someone who I don’t feel safe making mistakes around (often these are people who tend to communicate in ways that are especially direct, but that read to me as abrupt, cold, or callous). In these situations, I feel like I am set up for failure from the jump - these people want something I am absolutely unable to give, my inability to give it will piss them off, they’ll turn all those messy emotions on me or get angry with or be cruel to me, and so it’s best if I don’t bother. I get short of breath, my heart rate increases, I become nauseous and fidgety and my response is to just leave. Just bail on the person and the situation and hide myself away. There are certainly situations where this is my brain being a bully, and there are situations where this is a valid read on the particular person or situation. But in general, for me, personally, this is a manifestation of my anxiety that I deal with almost every day. I see it pretty clearly in Harry, too. I realize I may be projecting, my perception ≠ the only possible reality, and I am not arrogant or foolish enough to believe it does. I may be totally wrong. But those are my experiences and my observations, and I was reminded of them in the context of your old ask this morning.

Thanks so much for this anon - it's really lovely and interesting and I'm sorry it took me so long to reply. I really love telling stories about the different relationships within 1D and I love hearing that they resonate. So thanks so much.

I find your thoughts about Harry really interesting. And they resonate with an anon I answered yesterday. And one of their assumptions was that Harry had never felt unloved a day in their life. I can see where they're coming from, but I don't think it's true.

That is I think, one of the interesting things about Harry is that so much confidence radiates out of him. Even just the way Dermot used to talk about him on X-factor as the most confident person he'd ever met, and it's not like anything has changed. But at the same time you get these moments and these glimpses where you realise that there is an anxiety - not necessarily underneath, but somewhere in the middle of all that confidence.

What you say about your experiences I think is really useful for Harry. I think one of the differences is that Harry has always been confident that he can give people what they want or need from him. And it's something that's got easier as he's gotten older. If you're Harry Styles it's actually very easy to make people happy. I do think he's very much figured out that being kind from a position of power is a very powerful mood (that doesn't require that much work).

But I suspect what all means that when his anxiety comes up - when he can't make people happy and give them what they want - then he's not very good at dealing with it (and he does withdraw). There is a little bit of compulsion to me in the idea that everyone must think good things about him. I think there is more in common with him and Lima than you'd think in some ways (makes sense that's why they're magnets). But Harry is much better at masking what's going on, and he's much more intuitive at making people happy than Lima is (who is always a little too literal).

Anyway I hope your life has been very good since you wrote me this anon. You seem super aware and perceptive and I really enjoy it.