#the serotonin boost I didn't know I needed

[seeyouonsaturn]

Finally working on some asks bc why am I always just like

[ohtobeleah]

Chameleon // Jack Abbot

Summary: When Jack Abbot sees the love of his life has changed her hair colour…it doesn’t go as well as he, or the rest of the ER, would have hoped.

Warnings: Separated Reader x Jack Abbot. Jack Abbot x F!reader. OBGYN Reader. Marriage problems. Mental health issues. Mentioning of divorce. Age gap relationship. Younger female x older male.

Word Count: 2k

Author Note: I’ve used this scene before in a series. But for this one-shot, it was perfect inspiration. I had to revamp and create this little one-shot for my Friday afternoon serotonin boost.

“You know, soon enough you’ll have to sit down and have a genuine discussion about the state of your marriage, brother,” Robby walked with Jack down the bustling ED corridor. The two were getting ready for handover, as they did every morning and night, like yin and yang. “Personally, I think the two of you can work through whatever this is, together. I don’t think a divorce is necessary.” 

There it was…that goddamn word that carried the weight of the world. ‘Divorce’, Jack Abbot hated that word. He always had. But he’d never hated it more than when it became relevant to his own marriage. 

“Besides, I hardly recognise you, all you do is work and go home and listen to that scanner. Then, come back as soon as the sun goes down.” Robby wasn't wrong. He wasn't wrong in the slightest bit. But Jack still didn't appreciate it. 

“Who said anything about a divorce?” Jack growled as he caught the back of someone by the nurse’s station he couldn’t recognise. “Look, it’s complicated,” Jack paused his steps. Robby mimicked his friend's stance as the two continued to talk, all the while Jack never let the blonde in pink scrubs out of his sight. “I love Y/n, and I know she still loves me, because if she didn’t, we wouldn’t be in this mess trying to fix what I broke.” 

It’s an inevitable part of depression. The part where you tend to push people away. The part where self-isolation becomes a form of therapy. Jack knew the solace of being alone far too well. He knew it so well that he forgot that he was married…

And that broke your heart. Enough that the love you had for Jack couldn’t outweigh the pain of his behaviour and lack of affection. Attention. Understanding and empathy. He forgot you even existed. So…You left him. But not before you gave him everything you could. And not without explaining in great detail, why you were leaving. 

Jack needed time and space to better himself. You wanted him to come back to you when he was ready to love you the way you deserved to be loved. You wanted him to realise what he’d done to drive you away. PTSD, untreated depression. It all became too much. 

“You need help, Jack!” He can still hear your words echoing in his mind. “You save people all day and yet you can’t seem to understand that you’re slowly killing yourself with this fucking bullshit!” He knew you were right, you had been from the start. But at the time? Jack wasn't ready to listen. So he watched you walk out of his life instead. “I can’t keep waiting for you to jump off a building because you don't give a shit who you hurt as long as your pain ends, I can't watch you die because you won't let me help you.” 

It's a haunting reminder of his biggest mistake. Letting you go. But a reminder Jack won't ever forget. 

“Who’s the blonde from OB?” Jack followed up his statement with a question that hung heavy in the air. “There’s no blondes in OB? Did we get a new resident?” 

Robby doesn’t answer right away. He simply studies the way Jack's eyes examine every inch of the woman standing over by the nurse’s station. He has to know, right? It’s the woman Robby had only just seen in the elevator ten minutes ago. The woman who had just been sobbing on his shoulder about how much guilt she felt for separating from Jack. 

He needed it, though. Even Robby agreed that Jack had been teetering on the edge of a full-blown psychotic episode. Your separation was the best thing for him. He needed to realise that he was going to lose the one thing that mattered most if he didn’t get a grip on reality. 

“Uhh—“ Robby knew it was you, the blonde that was. You’d told him about your crash-out. The one that ended with a bottle of hair bleach and some not-so-professional measurements. You’d explained how you’d been missing Jack like crazy, but maybe it was time to think about divorce. You weren’t sure if he was ready to change. To help himself get back to a point where he could love you just as much as you loved him. It killed you every day that passed, but you knew if you went back now, Jack would only revert to his old ways. 

And he’d slowly, but surely, been making progress. Robby had mentioned to you that Jack had been seeing a therapist. He wasn’t sure for how long, but he had mentioned it. That gave you a little hope, and eventually stopped the tears from flowing before you had to get out of the elevator. 

“I’m not sure, but let’s—“ Before Robby could think of any excuse to remove himself, and Jack from your trajectory…the normally brooding attending was excusing himself with a smirk only reserved for mischief. 

“Excuse me.” Jack looked at his best friend with the intent to cause trouble before he walked off in the direction where you stood. Not knowing it was you. 

“Oh, well, now I recognise you,” Robby chuckled as he watched Jack saunter off. “This isn’t going to end well—” He groaned through mumbles as he looked anywhere but at the car crash about to happen right in front of him. His hands were tucked deep into his pockets with fear. 

“Hey—!” Jack started as he approached the nurse’s station. “Are you down here for a consultation? I’m not sure if we’ve met. I’m-“ It was worse than a car crash… it was like a double homicide. But not a soul could take their eyes off the scene before them. 

Emergency Room attending physician. Dr. Jack Abbot verves obstetrician and gynecologist Dr. Y/n Abbot. Separated spouses, who can barely work in the same hospital right now, let alone have a conversation face-to-face. 

As you turned around, Jack swore his heart fell out of his stomach. His heart raced inside his chest. You were stunning. He’d never seen you like this before. In all your years, you’d never been blonde. It looked…you looked beautiful. 

“Ahh!” Jack stepped back a little, fear was evident in the lines on his face. Holy shit, what was he supposed to do now? “What did you do to your hair?” Nope…That wasn’t what he should have said. But it was a question with many layers. 

Much like Jack Abbot himself. 

“I—I-I changed it.” You stumbled over your words as your husband, uh, ex? Husband? Separated spouse? asked with a tone you couldn’t tell was good or bad. Self-doubt immediately bubbled to the surface. “I uh, I coloured it.” You reach up and ran your hand through your blonde hair, not usually the standard issue colour. “I just—“ Then, as you stopped your mind from running off with the idea of shaving your head entirely, you caught onto what was happening... 

“Wait, you thought I was someone else?” Your heart sank. Jack didn’t even know it was you, yet here he was.

Jack immediately turned to look back at where he’d left Robby. Much to Jack's dismay…Robby had vanished into thin air. Shit. This wasn’t going to end well. He’d really put his foot in it this time. 

“You didn’t know it was me? And you were hitting on me!?” There was a tone in your voice that had everyone around you on edge. It made the blood in Jack’s head rush south…he liked you a lot when you were being mean to him. 

Langdon, who was only just getting situated with his patient pool for the morning, looked over at Jack with wide eyes and a shocked expression plastered across his smug face. He was so thankful it wasn’t him in Jack’s shoes right now. 

“No! No—“ Jack tried to explain himself. “No, I just thought you were, you know, some blonde.” But he had nothing to explain as he lowered his head and pressed his lips together. 

God help him. 

“Jesus, Abbot—“ You sighed. It was hard enough to love him enough as it was. Now, the idea of him running rampant around the Emergency Department, flirting with anything that moved, was going to ruin the small ounce of strength you had left. “You’re pathetic, and hypocritical—and slutty!” You whispered, shouted through gritted teeth. 

“And you are no blonde!” Jack retaliated, sending the Emergency Department into a buzzing gossip column. It was rare to ever see the two of you together anymore, let alone arguing like a married couple. 

“What did you just say to me?” It was a loaded question, like you were just daring Jack to continue. You stepped closer to where he stood, matching his intense gaze like you knew the way passed and into his heart. He fucking loved you. Being this close made his heart yearn for you. He just wanted you to be his again. 

You can’t pull that off, sweetheart.” The term of endearment slipped off his tongue like it was something Jack said every day. It was…But he wasn’t supposed to be calling you that anymore. Much like he wasn't supposed to be wearing his wedding band. 

It made your heart race. He still noticed you. He still wanted you and only you. He still cared. But not enough for you to trust he had your best interests at heart. 

“Blondes are either badass, or fun, and you’re—“ Jack paused, he was trying to think of something to say that wouldn’t inadvertently hurt your feelings. He was flirting, after all. “You’re a brunette.” 

“Fuck you, old grumpy bastard!” That was all you said as you collected your things and turned away with quick haste. You needed to leave. You were needed for a consultation, and that's what you were here to do. You weren't here to argue with your ex. 

“Damn—“ You heard it as you walked by. Langdon was looking at you like he’d just witnessed a public execution. “If you want my opinion, I think the blonde looks rad.” He smiled. 

“Oh, shut up!” You hissed with enough conviction that it had him thinking you might actually be venomous. 

“That didn’t end well, did it, Romeo?” Robby reappeared as Jack stood idly, watching you walk away. His heart ached, like he had a school-yard crush on the popular girl at school. 

“When did she dye her hair?” He asked softly, kicking himself for not noticing sooner. 

“Two weeks ago,” Robby replied. He knew Jack would take that as an answer he was hoping not to get. An answer to the question he secretly asked. The question was about your hair, but in reality, Jack had asked how long it had been before he noticed you. 

And the fact you’d been walking around like a totally smoke show for two weeks and Jack hadn’t noticed…made his stomach churn with guilt. 

“She’s too good for me,” Jack sighed. He knew he screwed it up. He knew he stuffed up your marriage. He just wanted to get back to you. “But holy shit, she looks good.”

“I think that’s what she was going for,” Robby smiled as he tapped his friend on the shoulder twice. “C’mon, we got hand over to get through Mr. Casanova.” Teasing, Robby coaxed Jack to follow him. 

Meanwhile, you watched on from where you’d run off to, secretly pining for your husband to flirt like that with you again any time. He was coming back to you. 

Slowly. But surely. Jack Abbot was coming back to life.

[i2rizz]

HI CAN I REQUEST L with a S/o that's super girly and she really likes having a shopping spree

Someone requesting smth other than them "no way he pulled that" fics feels like heaven

Tho jokes aside i adore this request(* >ω<)

Sugar rush & too many shopping bags

L didn't usually come out in public, let alone step foot into a glittering mall with glass escalators and pop music echoing off marble floors.

Did i mention L didn’t do malls?

He didn’t do loud music, crowds of strangers brushing past, or fluorescent lights that hummed against his sensitive brain like a warning alarm. And yet here he was—hunched forward in his usual slouch, dark eyes glancing left to right, and pale fingers hooked loosely around the strap of one pink shopping bag.

Just one of… fourteen.

Him being with shoulders hunched, thumb to his mouth, and his ever-messy hair attracted the attention of confused passersby. He didn't care. His gaze was fixed on one person

You.

Bouncing between store windows, your nails were freshly done-a glossy pastel pink. Your outfit was coordinated down to the last gold charm on your bracelet. You beamed as you strolled in front of him.

"Ryu, look!" your voice chimed like a bell, soft and bright, cutting through the noise around him.

L blinked and turned his head slowly, finding you a few steps ahead—posing in front of a boutique mirror, holding up a glittery pink handbag shaped like a heart. "Isn’t it cute?" you asked, already spinning on your heel to grab the matching wallet.

L stared.

It was cute.

But mostly because it was you holding it—eyes sparkling, cheeks flushed with excitement, your lip gloss catching the light like glass candy. You looked so alive here—like you belonged in a world of glitter shelves and pastel mannequins. In your element.

"You already have six bags" he murmured.

"I know, but this one is a different shade of pink. This one is, like, marshmallow pink. That’s a totally different vibe"

He stared again. "You make up new categories of color every ten minutes"

You leaned forward, resting your chin dramatically on his shoulder. "That’s called being an aesthetic visionary, thank you"

He paused. "Is that the same reasoning you used for the sparkly beret and the unicorn-themed eye palette?"

You gasped. "Are you judging me?"

L’s eyes flicked to yours. "Not at all. I’m… collecting data"

"On what?"

He tilted his head thoughtfully, thumb brushing his lip. "The average serotonin boost per accessory purchased"

You let out a laugh and threw your arms around him, nearly knocking him off balance. "You’re such a nerd, I love you" you giggled, squeezing him tight.

L stiffened like a surprised cat. But then slowly—so slowly—you felt his fingers press lightly against your back, one hand clumsily settling against your waist.

"I love you too" he mumbled into your shoulder, so quiet it was almost lost in the hum of the store.

You froze for a second—then pulled back with a grin that could’ve powered a small city.

"I’m buying the purse" you declared triumphantly.

"I anticipated that outcome"

"Come onnn, Ryu," you sang. "Just one more store!"

"You said that many stores ago" he muttered, his tone flat but not annoyed. You knew him well enough by now-this was his version of teasing.

You turned back with a cheeky grin. "I know, but this one has those glitter platform heels I showed you last week! I need them. For the vibes"

"For the vibes..." he repeated slowly, as if analyzing a foreign phrase. Then he blinked. "Do vibes have a functional purpose?"

You giggled. "Yes. They make me happy"

He paused. "...Acceptable"

L let you drag him along, his socks barely making a sound on the glossy floor tiles. He didn't really understand why you needed a dozen bags of accessories, lip glosses, tiny earrings shaped like cupcakes, or fuzzy cardigans in seven shades of pink-but he did understand one thing:

You looked radiant when you shopped.

When you twirled in front of a mirror in a new outfit, looking at him for approval with wide hopeful eyes, L would simply nod-his version of adoration.

Sometimes, if you caught him off-guard, he'd even mumble a quiet "Beautiful" before stuffing a lollipop in his mouth and pretending he hadn't said anything at all.

In one store, you turned to find him sitting criss-cross on a plush bench near the changing rooms, a small mountain of your shopping bags at his feet. He was slouched but oddly content, nibbling on a chocolate bar you'd slipped him earlier. His eyes followed your every move-like always.

"You're not bored?" you asked, cocking your head.

"I find observing you in your natural environment... fascinating"

You snorted. "I'm not a zoo animal, you weirdo"

"No," he said, chewing thoughtfully. "You're more like a butterfly. Loud, sparkly, and mysteriously drawn to expensive things"

You rolled your eyes with a smirk and leaned down to peck his cheek. He stiffened for half a second before returning to normal like nothing had happened.

"I'm done," you said. "Ready to go?"

Later, you sat side by side on a velvet bench just outside the store. L had all your bags stacked around him like a fortress, hunched over a cup of strawberry milk tea you’d bribed him with. His socked feet swung slightly above the floor.

You popped a mochi into your mouth and leaned into him, head resting on his shoulder.

“Did I drag you through too many stores today?” you asked softly, eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

“You dragged me through seventeen stores, four kiosks, and one candle pop-up. I carried approximately 12.4 kilograms of merchandise. I’ve been mistaken for a lost boyfriend six times”

You bit back a laugh. “So... yes?”

He sipped his drink. “It was tolerable”

You sat up and gave him a skeptical look.

He stared straight ahead, still sipping. “Because it was with you”

Your heart jumped, just a little. “You’re getting better at being sweet”

“I’m learning through exposure”

You giggled and brushed his hair out of his eyes gently. He blinked at the touch but didn’t move away.

“You’re such a good boyfriend, Ryu”

“I am trying” he said, like it was a scientific hypothesis.

Then, after a pause, he added in a slightly lower voice: “Though next time, I will bring a rolling suitcase”

You burst out laughing. “Deal”

He leaned against you just slightly, eyes half-lidded as he watched people pass. He didn’t care about the stares. He didn’t care about the noise. All he cared about was the warmth of your arm pressed against his, the sugary scent of your new body spray clinging to the air, and the way you looked at him like he wasn’t a puzzle to solve—but someone already whole.

And for a man who lived in shadows, that was the most precious light he’d ever known.

[iz-star]

About Zayne's nightmares...

The most unrealistic thing about Zayne is that he's a functional working adult that seemingly has put his life together at 27 not because he's young or a prodigy but because he's said to have nightmares since he was 12?? Like... I feel like this theme might be a bit overlooked but just think about it deeply, having constant nightmares fucks your mind like really REALLY bad, I can genuinely say this by experience and also as someone who has had trouble to have a healthy sleeping schedule since I was at highschool (like, for example, right now, I should be sleeping instead of writing this...).

There was a time I would have nightmares almost everytime I went to sleep during a really hard time in my life. Of course, the topic about those nightmares was almost always the same, not like the nightmares repeated themselves but they always revolved about the same things that I was actually working in therapy at the moment. Back then I was jobless and medicated most part of the time, I was pretty dysfunctional.

I suppose that's why when I listened to "Fragmented Dreams" for the first time it was the time I said "Yeah, this is my man". I love how he's always nagging MC about sleeping early because I know by experience that not sleeping properly can mess up with your mind pretty bad, and probably he knows it too. It truly is a showcase of love how he worries about her sleep like that and it also showcases how strong minded he is for enduring too much stress and remind kind constantly.

I love how healthy he is. I like to think that he's overcome all the stressful stuff he's gone thru bc of his discipline and healthy life style, but realistically it would take him some more to deal with all of that.

Yes, all of the guys have been through some very rough stuff and they all need therapy, but my point with Zayne comes with the fact that not having a good sleeping schedule and on top of that having constant nightmares can mess up with your perception of reality and induce you a bad depression or other mental health issues. Everytime I remember Zayne's main story branch when they're trapped in Zayne's dream and MC leaves him alone and he starts listening to Willian, Georgie and his Mom so he has to remind himself "It's not real, it's not real" I deeply feel that and I just want to hug him so bad :(

I think I'd like to see a card where they explore the consecuences of their past in their psyche more deeply. I can't help remembering this post which was one of the first posts you unlock with Zayne:

It was there when I just knew that even if he looked quiet, he had a lot to say but didn't know how to express.

Another thing I'd like to highlight about this is that actually I love the emotional maturity that Zayne displays about dealing with such issues like nightmares, traumatic experiences and literally being exposed to see people dying 24/7 while being someone that feels a lot yet says little. He's dealt with this the best way he can, no wonder why he came to be quite serious and inexpressive or sarcastic. Not allowing himself to express other emotions than seriousness or sarcasm was like keeping himself in check so he wouldn't spill everything he feels and considering how stressing is his job already, it just makes sense, but that didn't mean Zayne didn't feel because he feels too much and too deeply and worries sick about ppl and especially about MC.

Of course, bottling up his emotions wasn't the best way to deal with them but he never used any unhealthy coping mechanism neither, like alcohol, for example (My teetotaler King ❤️) etc. Yeah, his workaholism isn't exactly healthy but not something toxic to his mind and relationships, and I've always had a feeling that he's a big foodie and addicted to sweets to give himself that boost of serotonine he needs so bad.

That's why he compares MC with sweets, being her his favorite dessert, bc she's brought all that serotonine to his life naturally and has helped him let go little by little. When he opened to her about losing Dulcie, I had a feeling that Zayne always wanted someone to listen to him but he didn't know how to ask for it and ppl around him was too afraid to even dare to suggest it. I think even in one of his anecdotes, it is said that sometimes Dr Noah wanted to tell him something but at the end ended up saying nothing.

The fact that Zayne bottled up his emotions didn't mean that he wouldn't willingly share them, he wanted to but wasn't used to it. With MC, he's slowy started to let it go and enjoy life more, allowing himself to be sad in front of her, to express his fears (about losing her) or to express his childish tantrums and indulge in his softest side. That's why also she's not only his favorite dessert but also his best painkiller ❤️

And just to finish, I've always thought this quote by Kafka fits him so well:

"Remember, you should sleep more than other people, for I sleep less than most. And I can’t think of a better place to store my unused share of universal sleep than in your beloved eyes."

[saturnzskyzz]

Arcane tkl concepts

A/N: 𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐(𝙸 𝚍𝚘 ⚰️) 𝚂𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎'𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚜 𝙸 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚔𝚕 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎! :]

These are just for fun! So no credit needed. There's barely any tkl fics for arcane so I thought I might spark some creativity!

Catvi (Caitlyn & Vi)

Lee! Caitlyn ler! Vi

In the talking stage, there comes a time where they start to become touchy with each other? Not extensive, but just enough where there's some playful banter and vi would either shove Caitlyn's shoulder, or Caitlyn would playfully kick Vi from behind her knee. But what Vi recently discovered was that Caitlyn is rather sensitive in the sides from random, and playful, pokes. When Vi wants to confront her about it, Caitlyn would seem to deny it, but also wouldn't completely scruff the idea of her being sensitive on the sides. And THAT'S when Vi is like, "let's test how sensitive you are" or something, and would go for the kill.

Lee! Vi ler! Caitlyn

A cute one that I thought of is that Caitlyn likes to give Vi gentle tickles when she's overwhelmed or stressed. Vi would lay on her girlfriends lap, and since Caitlyn would have a habit of stroking Vi's hair, she would purposely get close enough to Vi's neck and would just enlight the most breathiest giggles from Vi. OH MY GOODNESS I need to write this one😭😭

Jayvik (Jayce & Viktor)

Lee! Jayce ler! Viktor

The thought of Jayce being on the receiving end should not be this surprising.. Then again he's a playful little shit and I headcanon that Jayce inflicts Viktor's ler side. Jayce would do something as simple as misplacing something of Viktor's and acting like he didn't do it, and when Viktor isn't getting an answer from Jayce, that's when he's like "you know what? You asked for it" and would tickle the answer out of him. The amount of times this has happened would be historic.

Lee! Viktor ler! Jayce

Again, playful little shit Jayce. He likes to hear his friends laugh, and when he doesn't want to be on the receiving end of things when annoying his partner in crime, how about he annoys them by tickling them? 😭😭 of course with Viktor's health he take account that he can't go too rough or else a very painful coughing fit would start.. He would literally jump off of a building if he went that far. So he just goes gentle with Viktor, and when I tell you the giggles that would fly out of this man would send a serotonin boost to Jayce??!! He could hear this man giggle all day.

Timebomb(Jinx & Ekko)

:𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚐𝚘 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍:

SPOILERS FOR ACT3

Lee! Jinx ler! Ekko

When building up their friendship again after the war, they talk a lot about the past. When Ekko bring up a past memory that he adored which is when Ekko first discovered that Jinx was ticklish, he reluctantly brings it up and when jinx is all like "what? I don't remember that" or trying to deny it, that's when Ekko is like "I wonder if you're still ticklish" and we all know how that will turn out. Obviously there's this headcanon I have for the both of them that they are frequent with their tickle fights, and either one of them could either have the upper hand, or one is on the receiving end. Different days with a different winner. If that makes sense? 😭

Lee! Ekko ler! Jinx

I feel like jinx would have discovered it randomly. Like "oh, did that hurt?" and when Ekko goes no, Jinx is just like "okay, NOW we need to decipher what that noise was" and it would lead to her tickling the shit out of Ekko. This ones really short, but it also explains itself pretty well I believe 😭

That's all that I have for these main three pairs!! My brain is all goopy and mushy by thinking about all these 😭😭 hopefully these strike interest for you guys :]]

[tickly-trashcan]

Ninjago Tickle headcanons for you, lovely!!!

• Kai wheezes if he laughs hard enough, especially when you get at his worst tickle spot

• Jay uses "The CLAAAWW!" when he's in a playful tickly mood. (He got it from his dad lol)

• Cole LOOOVVES being tickled and gets really cuddly when he's in a lee mood and after he's been tickled breathless. He's basically a big, ticklish teddy bear.

• Back when it was just the four of them, Zane personally didn't know that much about tickling. This led to his first tickle fight, in which it was mostly Kai, Jay, and Cole all tickling him at once and "showing him the ropes". (He actually enjoyed it lol)

• When Lloyd was a kid, Kai would tickle Lloyd if he was feeling grouchy, telling him, "if you keep scowling like that, your face is gonna start to sag!"

• Nya remembers this game Kai used to play with her when they were little. He would tickle her in two different spots or in two different ways and ask her which tickled more. He then proceeded to tickle her in whichever spot/way made her laugh more. Now she does it back to him. >:)

• Sometimes Zane will "forget" that his Funny Switch is on just to make Pixal laugh. This inevitably means Tickle Monster Zane, whom Pixal has fallen victim to more than once. She doesn't mind, though. Tickling is such a strange but silly and fun thing to her.

OUGHHHH okay i was lowkey hoarding these for myself because they made me so happy LOL so im finally responding bc OMGGGG

KAI WHEEZING IS SO REAL and Jay being a shit and doing the claw is so so funny and i bet it makes Kai wheeze even more because he looks so goofy when he does it AH

COLE COLE COLE MY BELOVED he is a big ticklish teddy bear that is the best way to describe him HES SUCH A SWEETHEART IM MELTING AUGHGHFSDMN

Zane is so cute and they would def show him and i bet they were so so mean but then also so so nice at the same time YOU KNOW HOW THEY ARE i love them to bits the sillies!!!

KAI AND LLOYD BIG BRO LITTLE BRO SO REALLLL ugh.... he teases Lloyd ALL THE TIME and i bet Lloyd really believed him the first time too until it turned into Kai just tickling him all the time LOL

NYA AND KAI IM GONNA WEEP rgb siblings go crazy but i also just love Nya and Kai being the goofiest sibs ever omg... Nya getting him back with it is also so so funny to me because I can def imagine Kai whining about it not being fair HAHAHA

ZANE. AND. PIXAL. im gone. GONE!!! i need them to be happy forever and ever and Zane being a goober tickling Pixal makes me so GIDDY they deserve each other and they are so silly and I hope Pixal also gets Zane bc he deserves it oughhh

anon... i am eternally grateful for these... they made me SO HAPPY i cannot even tell you and im sorry i hoarded them for so long but it was my little serotonin boost whenever i opened my inbox oughhh.... the silliest sillies....

[riddles-n-games]

TIG Drabble #6-Libby and Xander

He didn't hear the soft humming when he entered. His mind was on autopilot as his feet trudged the usual path straight for the sweets cupboard. Open the cupboard, take the jar, set the jar down, open it, retrieve a cookie, serotonin boost. That was the sole focus of this mission.

"Xander?" A quiet voice broke through his tunnel vision and he turned around to find a concerned Libby. Busted. Realizing he was holding the cookie jar, he placed it on the nearby counter and looked down, rubbing the back of his neck that had conveniently started throbbing painfully. How ironic that he felt like the literal kid getting caught with his hand in the forbidden cookie jar despite the rule having expired years ago.

"Oh, hi, Libby. I didn't think anyone was here."

A soft smile appeared. "Just me. Testing out a new batch for the food truck. We have a fundraiser again this weekend."

He nodded in acknowledgment, still looking down. "Well, I'm just gonna grab a cookie and I'll be out of your hair. I don't want to disturb you."

"Oh no, you're not interrupting. In fact, I have a batch ready and I need a taste-tester. Want one?"

"Sure." He placed the cookie jar back in its usual spot and then slowly shuffled towards Libby. In her hand on a small plate was a glorious slice of perfection in dessert form. The icing was a berry purple in a gorgeous swirl with blueberries on top and tiny sugar flowers all over. In the actual cupcake, there were dark patches, indicating it a fruit flavor. Blueberry or blackberry, he guessed.

"I apologize it's not a scone but it is still blueberry-flavored."

"'S ok." He took the peace offering and sat on one of the tall chairs on the other side of the counter. She joined him with her own. They ate in silence. As Xander took his last bite, he finally made a remark. "It's good. Did you make the sugar flowers?"

She nodded. "Do you want water?" He shook his head until he started coughing. Libby stood up and filled a glass, sliding it across the table towards him and he grabbed it, downing it in slow gulps. She kept standing until he stopped. "Good now?" He nodded.

Taking a seat again, she slowly trailed her hand and put it over his. "What's wrong? You seem down today." He pursed his lips and looked ahead but didn't move her hand. She slid her fingers into the gaps between his and gently squeezed his palm before he suddenly returned it, gripping unusually tight.

"You want to talk about what's bothering you? I won't force it if you don't want to." He sighed deeply and turned slightly her way but kept his eyes concentrated on their hands. Where to begin?

A few moments went by before he spoke. "I, uhm..."

He inhaled sharply. "Honestly? It's kind of dumb how it started. In robotics this morning, one of my new experiments kept malfunctioning. I spent two hours trying to fix it only for the whole thing to fall apart at the last possible second. Some part came very loose, it was this close to just straight up blowing up."

Libby nodded as he paused, looking to her before he continued. He shot her a grateful smile, small but there.

"In physics, Bex was shaken. She said her mom had another meltdown. Got really loose-lipped after..." He gave her another look. They both knew what that meant. Rebecca dealt with it and brought the aftermath with her but Xander was always there for her. He was her rock in many ways and she was supportive of him too, but some days, it was too much. "I did what I could to help but," his voice lowered, "I fear one day it won't be enough. She's still levelheaded for all she went through but I worry she'll spiral. A-And..."

"And?"

"It's a lot to deal with. I love her and I know she returns the favor when I need it but sometimes I wonder if I won't be able to deal with it mentally myself. That scares me. That I'll let her down and me in the process because I couldn't hold myself together anymore. I am good at carrying other people's burdens but not my own and I think that one day, my own problems will catch up to me when she might need me. I-" Xander cut off, eyes wide at what he just said.

Libby brought her free hand to his back and rubbed it up and down, hoping it soothed him. "Hey now. You're a good friend. Anyone who knows you that well knows that. You're always there to help us when we're down but that doesn't mean we can always expect you to be in a good place either. "

"I know just-"

"No buts. Xan, we're lucky to have you in our lives. Especially Rebecca. I don't think she would be mad if you couldn't handle it for once. You've been with her your whole life and she knows when you're hurting like you do with her. I'm pretty sure she'd be more concerned that you didn't find someone to help you rather than just dumping thoughtlessly without noticing your state first."

He sighed deeply and rubbed his temple. There was nothing more that he wanted to hear and to believe than that. "I hope so."

"I know so. You know, I think this is a conversation you've needed to have a long time ago but you've been avoiding it. Why don't you talk to her about it?"

"Because-" What if she thinks I think of her as a burden and feels like she's been using me and thinks this friendship was fake all along? What if she thinks I'm weak for not dealing with my problems first?

The fear may not been voiced but it was enough. Libby knew what he wanted to say. She smiled sadly. "I get that you're scared of what she might think but I believe she'll be much more understanding than you give her credit for. Promise me you'll at least try."

He exhaled shakily and nodded. "Ok."

"Trust me, you're one of the bravest people I know and I also know that if you talk to Rebecca, she'll be thankful for it. Both of you will be." Libby was right. His fears were irrational and it was likely all for naught. Rebecca was his best friend and she stuck by him through so much as well, why wouldn't she be able to understand his feelings all of a sudden? This would give them clarity and a new profoundness to their friendship. Maybe even a safety net if the line blurred too much.

"And Xan?"

"Mmm?"

"You can always come to me and I will do as much as I can. I'm here if you need: whatever, whenever. You don't always to have to rely on just your brothers." He considered that. She was right about that too. It wasn't just the four of them anymore and with the addition of Avery and Libby, their family had grown. Home was a little bit fuller now and oh how he was thankful for it. But that one thing she said...

"Did Nash tell you that? 'Cause that sounds like something he would say."

"Maybe." She winked.

"Figured. He's been hanging around you a lot."

"No comment on that. But let's not make this about me. My focus right now is on you and your needs. You clearly still have a lot left to say and let go of." He couldn't deny that so he continued to recall the rest of his day until the thing that was heaving him down the most.

"-left for my locker, I went to Dr. Gallagher to get a prize I received for a prior competition. As I waited for her to get it, some students that were there, I don't even know why I started listening but I was picking up on bits of their conversation. It sounded like they were talking about feeling sorry for someone, about their parents being absent. That was... That was until I heard Skye's name."

He had to stop and steady his breaths. He knew this part was coming but panic was catching in his throat and he wasn't sure if it was going to take his ability to think. But Libby wasn't about to let that happen. She cupped his cheek, refocusing him to the feel of her warm, soft palm. "It's okay, Xan. Just breath." If that wasn't enough to make his heart swell, the feeling of her lips pressing against his forehead made him cling to her comfort that much more. They stayed that way for a moment.

"I... I'm good now."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Only then did he realize he was slumped against her and part of him still didn't want to leave the little bubble of peace but he had to get it out. Xander was well aware of how things could eat at him when he was alone and drove him into a crash-and-burn cycle of inventing. It made him feel like Jameson at times. So he pushed forward.

"Th-The girls, they... they were talking about her arrest and how it must be hard to deal with having a parent as a criminal. With my grandfather gone and no father in the house, it must be hard having no real parental guidance. What a shame that all my efforts can't be celebrated with proper loving parents around."

The fresh sting of tears pricked at his eyes but he continued, "The teacher came back and heard what they were saying so she told them to leave. She apologized and said they had no right to talk about that but I mean, they seemed sympathetic, not mocking. Dr. G gave me the prize and told me if I wanted to talk about anything, I can come to her. But when I looked at her, all I saw was the pity. I couldn't say anything, I was too stunned to say anything so I just walked away. That's the end of it."

"Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry that you had to hear that."

"It's true though, isn't it? I mean, my mother is in jail, my grandfather is dead, and I don't..." he gulped, "I don't have a dad." That one probably hurt the most to say.

The one parent he had showed a much more monstrous side that he hadn't believed existed. He acknowledged Skye's manipulativeness but the depravity of her actions since Avery's arrival was enough for a true crime documentary. He missed his grandfather dearly, that ache paired with his mother's betrayal had become a sore spot which he tried to avoid. His brothers had tried shielding him from the worst of it but even they couldn't keep the news away forever. And how much he yearned to have a father in his life, not just an older brother who tried to step in as one.

His father may know of his existence but he didn't even know of his identity. For all he knew, his father could have been dead by now. A broken family, some dead, some gone, some unknown, he practically felt like orphan was an acceptable term at that point.

"Xander..."

"Libby, I might as well be called an orphan." Her eyes widened. "Let's not lie. Skye isn't much of a mother no matter how much I lie to myself. Aunt Zara keeps a distance and Nan is Nan. I appreciate that but I've longed for a normal family so long, is that too much to ask? For so long it's felt like it's been just me and my brothers. Without our grandfather around, it's just us four. That's it." His voice got small and he felt like it too. The tears were flowing freely now. There, those were all his fears put out into the open.

Libby cupped his cheeks gently. "You're so brave to admit that. I'm proud of you. But Xander, it's not just you and them anymore, ok? You have me and Avery now too. I'm here and if you'd like to think of me as your big sister, I will gladly be that for you. You're part of my family." He looked at her.

"Really? You think that about me?"

She nodded reassuringly. "I've considered you my little brother for a long time now." Maybe it was the way she said it, how soft her voice was or just the fact she cared, but a sob broke through. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now come here." He gladly accepted her warm hug. Quite literally, he melted into the embrace as he buried his nose into her shoulder. Her shirt smelled of coconuts, baking ingredients, and Nash's teakwood candles. Home.

"I'm here for you." He believed her. He held her tighter.

Xander dreamed of many things. Having a dad, a functioning family, a room of an infinite supply of blueberry scones. But he didn't have to dream of an elder sister. He had that for real.

A/N: Hey I know this was longer than a regular drabble but I felt it deserved to be as long as it is because the words just kept coming and that felt like the right thing to do to give this story the depth it needed. Funny thing is I realized that four of the five I already posted are actually pretty sad/angsty with the content they tackle and only the one I posted before this is actually light-hearted. Trust me, I don't plan to only post these kinds and there will be more fun ones to come. Anyways, thanks for reading as always and I'll see you in the next one.

[darkromanceenthusiast]

🕊️Dead Dove: Do Not Eat🕊️

I can't remember what song I was listening to but I thought “What if some obsessed Yandere guy had a dream about him and his darling doing cannibalism.”

Contains: mentions of cannibalism, blood, obsession, story is a dream, pretty short. No specific characters, stalking, darling is completely undefined and gender neutral.

You made the self-loathing, the hatred, the projection… stop.. for a second as his heart stutters in his chest from seeing you it’s like his brain hard restarts with a boost of serotonin.

He stumbled into his small apartment his hands numb from the temperatures dropping as it always did this time of year. He had stayed out all night watching you sleep again and was shivering as he tucked himself still fully clothed under his covers, exhausted. He plugged his phone in before pulling up his favorite picture of you, staring at it until his eyes closed from the heaviness of sleep.

When he opened his eyes he knew he was dreaming because you were there, tucked into his side a smile on your face as your eyes meet his. That color, his favorite color, the one he can’t ever buy anything in because unfortunately they don’t sell your eyes as a color option, made him feel okay. He pressed his lips hungrily to yours savoring the feeling, desperate for it as his fingers found the back of your head. He was happy to have you in his dreams when he couldn’t in reality.

Hands roam, lips meeting for feverish kisses, and clothes are pulled off. Finally he’s in his favorite place looking down at you in his arms and suddenly he’s over come with an urge to consume. To be consumed. He leans down, eyes boring into you as he sinks his teeth into your chest the skin feels doughy in his teeth and the coppery taste of blood permeates his mouth and he moans, a yelp leaving your lips instantly. You begin to push away but he quickly holds you down and shoves his fingers in your mouth to muffle you. Tears spill from the corner of your eyes and lips tremble, the bite mark on your chest already showing signs of bruising.

He reaches with his free hand and places it under your jaw. He stares into your eyes and instantly knows what he has to do, feeling your tongue rest under the fingers in your mouth and he begins to apply pressure, forcing your bottom jaw up a few small grunt leaving his lips. There's pain, sure, just a tad uncomfy as your teeth breaks his skin and begins torching through his muscle. He grits his teeth and pushes harder he just needs a bit more pressure.

sssquuurrchksss

He lets a groan of pain as he finally forced your teeth through his fingers. His jaw drops and brows knit together as the pressure, pain, and shock gives away to utter relief and pleasure. His blood is pouring from the corners of your lips.

“Eat it.” He murmurs, watching your shocked expression. He can see your body shaking as you began to chew the crunching sound filling the space between you. His head drops to your shoulder as he smiles, a sense of euphoria over him as he trails the bloody kuckle where his index and pointer finger had been down your neck, staining you with his blood.

He leaned his head down, kissing along your shoulder before he bit down, when you didn't cry out or flinch away he continued, harder and harder until he felt your flesh give way, his teeth tearing through it. He pulled back, watching your blood pour down your skin, he smeared it enjoying how the liquid looked against your body.

Your eyes met, both breathing heavily before your hands shot out burying into his chest, making him shudder with need. His hands joined you in ripping at his own flesh determined to help you devour him. His hands dug into your thighs, pulling away the fat and muscle there. The both of your blood mixing on the bed below. It felt so real, he could practically taste your blood and your skin. He could smell you, he could hear you, but he knew he was dreaming.

That's the only reason he’d ever do this. He thought as he took a bite from your neck, the blood gushing in coppery waves and coating the two of you in more of the sticky red substance.

Beep-beep-beeep- be-be- be- beeep

He groans as his eyes opens shutting off the noise and staring up at the ceiling. His fucking alarm. Its always his fucking alarm. Why did he have to wake up every fucking day without you? He fucking hated this.

Oh, well. At least he knew you had work today so he could watch you.

[titchtiny]

Chapter 2

Masterlist

Y/N POV

The studio was bustling with fellow artists all rushing to get their canvases made and prepped ready for the first submission of the year. This is one topic I love, pure experimentation, the freedom to do whatever I want, no specific topic, no particular style, just whatever I want whatever way I want.

Today was the day we needed to hand make and prep our canvases, size and shape left to how we want it to be, but I had one issue...I made the largest frame in the studio and I now needed to get the canvas stretched and stappled to it, but I couldn't do it on my own. Everywhere I looked were stressed students too busy worrying about their own work to help with mine, but there's one person I didn't see...Nari.

"Where is she?" I mutter to myself a little frustrated, not wanting to fall behind. I prop my frame up against the wall of my station and head out to look for her.

I head to the cafe as my first stop, knowing her she went to get another caffeine fix. I don't blame her, I could do with one too but time was getting away from me now. Sure enough my instincts were right, there she was, coffee in and hand talking to some guy. I stop in my tracks for a second, confused at the sight, she didn't mention having a boyfriend and the only guys I've ever seen her talk to here are the ones in our friend group and in the studio, this guy was someone new. I have to question her about it when we get back.

“Nari come on, we need to get the canvases made and prepped!” I call to her, waving my arm to further gain her attention.

"Sorry, I needed my coffee and got distracted." She says lightly jogging over to me and taking great care not to spill any of her precious coffee. As soon as she’s within arms reach i give her a knowing nudge.

“What was that for?”

“I think there’s something you need to tell me, now come on the canvas won’t prepare itself.”

I make the short trip back to the studio quick, dragging Nari along behind me, too impatient to hear about this new guy she was with to wait a second longer.

“Okay, spill.” I say practically throwing her to my station and quickly grabbing what i need, all while she stood there giving mea puzzled look.

“Spill what?”

“Spill the tea, the tea being the guy you were with.”

“Oh, I don’t even know him, i think he started today, he’s with photography, all i did was give him directions.”

I deflate a little feeling disappointed by the lack of tea. He’s not a new friend or some guy she’s been seeing in secret, he’s just a new guy…damn it.

“What’s up?” She asks noticing my now diminished excitement.

“I thought he was some secret man you were seeing.”

“Really? You’re crazy, and if i was secretly seeing someone I wouldn’t be dumb enough to make it so public in the cafe, I’d be somewhere quiet like that staircase over in the engineering department that no one uses.” Her eyes widen just as she finishes.

“So there is something you’re not telling me!”

“Just shut up and stretch the canvas will you, like you said ‘it’s not going to prep itself’”

With the canvas now prepped and ready to be worked on i feel happy leaving it at that for the day, now the only thing i want to do is relax. Coffee in hand for that little boost iso desperately need i make my way downstairs ready to get my ass out of here.

“Is my girl all worn out?” A familiar and comforting voice hums in my ear. A voice I’ll never get tired of hearing, San’s.

“Very worn out, do you know how tiring it is to build a huge canvas from scratch?”

“Oh yes, i bet very tiring.” He gives a nod of false sympathy while trying not to crack a smile.

“Okay, Mr ‘I sing and dance on stage all the time’ i get it, your major is more physically tiring.”

“I didn’t say that, i was agreeing with you.”

“Yes but very sarcastically might I add.” His low chuckle gave me a little boost of serotonin, much better than anything this cheap and nasty coffee could offer.

“You’re so lucky i love you.” I smile nudging him.

“Luckiest guy to ever live.” He throws an arm over my shoulder before pecking the top of my head.

“So where are you heading off to now?”

“Either my bed or the couch, whichever I…”

My trail of thought stops as soon as i glance through the library window. A guy sat with his back to the glass, the same black leather jacket that guy was wearing, the one i saw Nari talking to. So that’s him, I couldn’t see his face but just his overall aesthetic looked right up nari’s street. I guess it wont hurt to attempt a little match making in the future.

“What’s up?” San snaps me out of my trance and back to reality.

“Oh sorry, whichever one i…” I stop again but this time it’s for good. I catch the guy tuck his hair behind his ears, first with both hands then with the right.

Seeing the action felt like an old habit. A small memory flashes in my head. Sitting on the floor playing video games in a bedroom full of posters. After winning yet another round my head turns to see a lightly frustrated friend pushing his hair out of his eyes… first with both hands then with the right. I giggle at the little habit, harmless but such a characteristic of the boy sat next to me.

“No…” I whisper, barely audible. “It’s not.”

“Y/n, babe, are you okay, you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” San asks concerned, stepping in front of me holding my face in his hands to get a better look at how the colour had drained from my face.

“Yeah…I’m…I’m fine. I think I’m just coming down with something.” I lie. I never liked lying to San but it happened on instinct. How could i say I’ve just seen someone I haven’t seen for years, someone who was my ride or die, and yet it might not even be him. It can’t be him, mom would have said something, our families were best friends so if anyone would know it would be her.

I take a deep breath, calming myself down. “It’s not him” i tell myself, repeating it a few times to make it real. Loads of people tick their hair behind their ears, it wasn’t a habit that only he had, it was just a freak coincidence.

“Yeah you’re not looking too well, and your breathing has gone shaky…come on let’s get you back to the dorms, I’ll make you food, how does that sound?” San’s voice was soft and like a warm blanket, always soothing and comforting and he always knew just what to do. I nod in reply and give a weak smile as he lead me back to my dorm.

[darkkitty1208]

on fic writing and fandom: where am i going forward?

So. It's a bloody dull Friday and I'm writing this post--have been meaning to, for a while--because I can't stop thinking about it. It's just a few (a lot, actually) thoughts I've had in my mind the past few days that I've decided to spill into a single post, which turned out far longer than it needed to be, but nothing too important. Under the cut.

I've been a fanfic writer for a while now. Not a long time by any means, but a while nonetheless. My first fic--which is now orphaned like a few of its brothers for undisclosed reasons, though if you're an og you might be able to guess why--was dated back to the 18th of November 2021. 3 years later and I've got a humble 89 works and counting (the orphaned works and unposted wips unincluded). I can safely say I've improved quite a lot since then.

Where are you going with this, then, Kitty? Surely you aren't here just to brag about your writing progress?

Well. Not exactly. But I'll start with this: I guess what I'm trying to say is I've lost the spark.

You know. The old feeling. That boost of serotonin you get after you finish a piece you're proud of, or when you get lovely reviews on ao3, or when you get a kudos email, or a new mutual, or some wild tags under your silly post. The spark. I haven't felt it in a long time, now. The last time it's been so palpable was... I'm not sure. Probably last year's October. That was a lot of fun. I was most prolific in fic writing, that year. It shouldn't feel like a long time ago. Because it wasn't.

Don't get me wrong. I love all this. All that's going on right now. The comments I'm getting--even if fewer than I had before--and all the other interactions, I appreciate and enjoy and love them so, so much. And writing my newer fic projects are well exciting. But it just isn't the same anymore. I'm afraid it never will be.

(Maybe it has something to do with the lack of interactions lately. Maybe? I don't really know, either. I'm sure we're all well aware the fandom is past its peak, and with the current developments in the MCU I am frankly unsurprised, but I dunno.)

I guess that's part of the reason I've been less active lately. I've been inactive as a whole this year, admittedly, and disappearing far too often for far too long (and I notice some of my friends are, too). I just didn't get the same joy from being in a fandom like I had when I first started this blog, or my ao3 account.

In hindsight, I've probably been a little too dependent on fandom to provide me serotonin. The past few years have been hard, the years before that, too. Life just keeps kicking me in the arse time and time again. I guess I've been using fandom and fic writing as a coping mechanism, and once I've had my fill, the joy dies off to something a little more dull. Like a gum I've been chewing for too long that the sweetness has since worn off.

Honestly? I don't want it to be this way. I want to live without being so dependent on my presence online. I want to live without only knowing joy through internet interactions. I've got to learn to. It sounds silly, but it's true. (I think I may be slightly chronically online, oh no. x'D)

So naturally my first instinct is to distance myself a little. I contemplated quitting, but I can't do that. I don't see myself ever doing that, no matter how many times my brain convinces me that I might.

When this year started, I had set some goals for writing. One of them was to write for more whumptober prompts than I did last year or complete them all. I did like 21 prompts or something last year. Of 31. Within a little more than a month. While still balancing all the life stuff I had going on. This is, if not obvious, an extremely ambitious goal. I am not insane. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't possibly do that now, can I? Not with all the stuff that's been happening.

...

Can I?

...

Yeah, no. Definitely not.

See, that's another thing: writing. Probably the thing I'm trying to get at in this post but otherwise derailed completely from. Fuck my brain.

I'm sure many of you have noticed that I've been writing significantly less. I still post, obviously, but not as much as like, last year when the number of works I had went from a few to far too much. That had helped me improve quite a lot, actually, but those days I barely slept because I just insisted to replace my sleep time with Writing Shit For The Gays. It was pretty unhealthy now that I look back at it. My sleep schedule is still shit now but, yk. Some things just never change.

I was really, really caught up on wanting to be good at writing. Like, really good. I wanted to make awesome things. I wanted to write like a real fucking pro. Like all the more popular fandom authors I look up to. I want to be like the big dogs in fandom. It sounds so silly. I did everything; sprinting daily, setting a minimum of 500 words writing sessions every day, trying new writing styles, churning out works after works, writing for prompts and events and gifts and the like. I was enjoying it, yes, but was it really something I did for myself? Or was it because I wanted to please other people or impress other people for their validation, which is something I'm entirely too dependent of? Was it for the numbers?

Well. It was more for that than for me, I realised a little too late.

So yeah. Fuck wanting to be good. I want to write for the hell of it. I want to write something that's for me. Not what the majority of the fandom or other people want to read, but for me. Which is why I absolutely loved writing works like just a matter of time, how to kill a god, or how to become a god, because they're not meant for other people but myself. (Ironically that last work is a gift but, yk. I still liked it.) I know I joke about self-projecting a lot, but it's been seriously helping me rediscover the joy of writing that doesn't come from the incessant need to be good or perfect or focus on producing more and more and more. It makes me feel like a kid again. Also, I'm only realising this now but I'd rather get like 5 people who enjoy reading my works so much and express them to me rather than 100 people who silently thumbs up at me and then go away to consume another fic or demand more. (All this to say I still love interactions, it just shouldn't be my no. 1 priority to get them when writing fanfics.)

But yeah. None of those works are perfect. They're not meant to be. But they're mine. They're me. They represent me. And it's so, so great to feel that in writing. I've been so stuck up on being some sort of content machine. I'm doing this for myself, how could I forget? I've been saying this since the beginning, I don't know why I'm still struggling to do it. God. It's ridiculous.

Anyway. That's that. This has become a very long ramble. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. And for letting me waste your time, if you make it to the end of this post.

[kazoosandfannypacks]

chapter summary: gideon and hope work on homework together. chapter word count: 1127 a/n: i was stuck on this chapter for an unusually long time, but as soon as i got it done, the rest of the fic just kinda flowed right outta me! i hope you enjoy it :D taglist: @accidental-spice @kanerallels @ouatnextgen @booksteaandtoomuchtv (if you'd like to be added to my cygnet scholar taglist, let me know!) also on ao3!

#4: Brain Food

 Hope sat at the dining room table, mindlessly twirling a pencil between her fingers. She was trying her very hardest to focus on the concept Gideon was explaining to her, but her brain was wired for crime fighting, not quadratic equations.

 "Does that make sense?" Gideon asked.

 "No." Hope sighed. "I'm never gonna get this. If even you can't make it make sense, I may as well call it quits. It's just not gonna click for me."

 "Maybe you just need some brain food."

 She turned to see her dad entering from the kitchen, carrying a tray of cookies.

 "Peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies are brain food?" Hope asked, raising an eyebrow. As much as she liked her parents and loved their cookies, she was always nervous when either of them were in the same place as Gideon. It was like leaving a candle in front of one of those air-fresheners with a timer: you never know when it's gonna go off, but if it does, it'll blow up. So far, Gideon hadn't spilled the beans about knowing Hope's secret, and Gideon hadn't caught on about her parents either, but there'd been a few missteps that were a little too close for comfort.

 "Sure." Killian said, holding out the plate of cookies to her. Begrudgingly, she took one, hoping it would make her dad leave as soon as possible.

 "That is correct, actually." Gideon said, "the protein in the peanut butter boosts your brain power, and the sugar encourages quick thinking. Taking a cookie break like this boosts your serotonin levels too, which makes it easier to stay on track. Your dad's right."

 "I knew there was a reason I liked this kid." Killian said, handing the tray to Gideon. "Be sure to take a couple; they're small."

 They were not, in fact, small, but Gideon didn't seem to mind as he grabbed several cookies off the tray.

 "Thanks, sir." Gideon said, as he took a bite. "These are absolutely fabulous, as always."

 "I thought you might say so." Killian said.

 "What's your secret?"

 He looked around the room as if someone may be listening in, then leaned closer.

 "I use a teaspoon of chocolate milk instead of regular milk."

 "Brilliant." Gideon said. "I'll have to try that sometime."

 "I can make up a copy of the recipe for you," Killian said.

 Hope may not have had heat vision or laser eyes, but that didn't stop her from tensely glaring at her father.

 "Dad, we've gotta get back to our homework." Hope said.

 "Oh." He said, glancing around the table at them. "Right. Make sure I get you a copy of that recipe before you leave, though."

 "Yes, sir." Gideon said, with a joking salute.

 Killian left the cookies on the table and made a hasty escape.

 "And what was that about?" Gideon asked.

 "What was what about?" Hope asked.

 "Why are you always so weird around your dad?" Gideon clarified. "Your folks are pretty chill."

 "Sure," Hope said, biting a chunk off the corner of her cookie, "my parents are chill now. But imagine what happens if something slips out and dad finds out that you know, ya know? No more 'code orange,' and Golden Girl gets a permanent grounding until she's at least twenty-three."

 "Come on," Gideon whispered, "you really don't think your folks would ground a real superhero, would they?"

 "No." Hope said, though she knew she couldn't play the "but I'm a superhero" card on a couple of experienced superheroes who were also members of the elusive League, "but I don't want to risk it. If I'm grounded, you're grounded too."

 She patted his arm and smiled.

 "I have other friends I can hang out with." Gideon said.

 "Really?" Hope asked, crossing her arms. "Which friends?"

 Gideon changed the subject. "Look, you'll be grounded anyways if I don't find a way to get these quadratic equations into your head."

 "Fine," Hope sighed.

 There were a few beeps from Gideon's smartwatch.

 "Ooh." Hope said. "Something important? Something so important algebra will have to wait until later? Oh, what a bummer!"

 She threw her hand back on her forehead and sighed for dramatic effect, and he smiled and rolled his eyes before checking the notification.

 "Intel finished downloading on," he glanced around the room, as if checking to see if anyone else was watching, "'you-know-who.'"

 Hope shook her head. "No I don't."

 "Yeah." Gideon said. "He who shall not be named?'"

 "Voldemort?" Hope asked. "Gideon, is 'intel' code for pirated copies of 'The Deathly Hallows?'"

 "No." Gideon shook his head. "Hope, this is important."

 She shook off her joking facade.

 "You know that 'dark one' all these low-level lackeys are working for?"

 Hope leaned forward with a nod and a smile. Gideon only used alliteration like that when things were about to get exciting.

 "I received an intelligence report this morning." Gideon said. "One of them finally broke and shared an encrypted file on his boss."

 "So why haven't I heard anything about this?"

 "Hope," Gideon shook his head, "I want you to tell me exactly what you think 'encrypted file' actually means."

 "It's something like a zip file, right?"

 Gideon laughed. "Only if your 'zipper' was locked with seventeen different padlocks, all with a unique combination, as well as a separate key that was lost to time, and all of the information within the file was written in a separate cipher, but you needed the information from all of them in order to make sense of the actual message the cipher was trying to send."

 "Okay." Hope said. "How long did it take for you to crack it?"

 "Three hours." Gideon blushed a little.

 "You mean you've had your hands on the secret to his identity for three hours and haven't told me?"

 "I didn't want you to get too excited." Gideon said. "Just because I was able to break it doesn't mean I thought I would be. Even with the series of algorithms I have running at this, there was still a chance I wasn't gonna break through."

 "Well, I would've believed in you from the get-go." Hope smiled. "You're the best guy-in-the-chair a girl could ask for."

 He blushed again, even more than before.

 "I'm gonna," he said, speaking so quickly and suddenly that his words tripped over themselves, "gonna go, uh, check the lair computers. For the information that just came through."

 "Alright." Hope said.

 "Think you can manage the homework on your own?"

 "Yeah." Hope nodded. "I think I've got a handle on it. I'll meet you at the fort when I'm done."

 "Great." Gideon smiled, and stared at her a moment or two longer than normal before nodding and seeing himself out. Hope then began tackling the math assignment.

🩷•⚡•💛

[siriusblackdevotee]

yours tags on the reblog????? i’m going INSANE??????? a hundred yeses!!! esp to the kink feeding into sirius’ pleasure (+ resolving some issues lol) and bringing in mom/dad and sirius is just emotional now bc???? parents??? who love me???? but also horny!!! bc sex!!!

very confusing moment for our baby boy and james is there to hold him through every second of it

I'm a bit shy on that stuff (for reference, here) so it went in the tags, but yes, fauxcest prongsfoot was introduced to me by a mutual who responded on literally the og post and said "what if they're into that" and they told me about fauxcest and it pretty much altered my brain.

The idea started off as just pure smut, like a pwp thing...but then I realized Sirius's desperation for familial connection so I just mixed them with fauxcest and yeah here we are, emotional pwp??

Anyways, James had already noticed how happy and content Sirius gets when he's offhandedly called 'brother' in conversation. "Yeah my brother Sirius" and he would be quietly beaming or struggling not to smile. Because...well Sirius came from a loveless family, I think in this universe even Regulus is ashamed to be his brother so yeah, Sirius desperately needs someone that's truly proud to call him and claim his as family.

So again James knows it's a whole serotonin/ dopamine boost for Sirius but they've never mixed the 'brotherly' part of their relationship with the sexual one cause ig it feels like a line they shouldn't cross?? however, at the same time, I'm thinking they're already used to thinking of each other as a brother that the term kind of just slips out naturally?? During sex, I mean.

So the first time it happens, either Sirius is getting hard?? moans unconsciously?? or cums immediately??? idc, he's like wtf what happened how did that even my body doesn't do that I'm so sorry idk what's wrong with me (basically confused and horny as u say) and James is like shh it's hot it's okay you're fine and yk, cue alot of emotional comfort here bc idk that far into the idea.

And thennn this brings to Effie/Monty. I think for Sirius involving the parents is a lot more overwhelming bc like the sibling progression with James was a slow build up so he could keep up with it?? Hence why it was surprising and yes, a lot, but not as overwhelming as satisfying his desires for Effie/Monty becoming his parents. Like the whole time he's like, I'm fine with being a family with only James, being part of the family but also not really, but once Effie/monty is involved, it's like fantasy is not longer a fantasy?? Like it's been solidified, a reality that he can't look away from??

And btw, the sentence used to involve the parents has to be natural?? If I make sense, like smth incestuous siblings would say?? So that Sirius gets the "oh my god, this feels like a family" vibe???

So yeah he breaks apart and starts crying and James is there to pick up the pieces or...keeps fucking him idk but more importantly, Sirius is finally realizing he is family!! Fully family!! Through the power of sex!! And a lot of crying and comforting!!

Throughout it all Sirius is a complete emotional disaster, a mess, a baby James is coddling and doting on.

anyways, thank u for coming to my ted talk, sorry I didn't answer quickly, I was procacinating

[unpersoniverse]

I don't know if I was desperate for a little silly serotonin boost, if I am too unserious or if people are just straight up haters to everything but like...

I swear the ATLA la is not nowhere as bad as many are making it to be, like, this isn't a carbon copy of the og series, nothing will ever top of ATLA and if you wanted it to be the same just go watch the show again?

I've watched ATLA so many times in my life, it's my comfort show as much as yours. But the live action isn't the cartoon, that I understood right away. And of course it has a lot of flaws (and tbh I blame today's way of media consumption at that, trying to squish complex storylines in the least time possible, and also mainstream media performative activism but that's a war for another day) but as a stand alone thing I thought it was pretty solid? I felt like the essence of the show was brought to justice after the unspeakable movie. It felt familiar, at least to me idk.

I don't think this was for the fans honestly, it's been 19 since the og aired. Many things in the world have changed but many are still the same, I think this series was meant more to catch onto the new generations and public. I'm giving you a personal example but I've always recommended the show to everyone I know and despite all my efforts, there are still A LOT of people who disregard animation as something only for kids and wouldn't see it (boludos pero bue) and guess what? They're seeing the live action, and they love it.

Also the fact that there's a show with a cast of mainly asian and native-american actors at last? sign me tf up.

Overall, even if I didn't like some changes they made I still enjoyed it and mostly I want this series to succeed. Mainly because the ATLA story is always going to be relevant, even if it is fantasy it has the representation about people and feelings we don't often see in things. (like, as a girl from a south american country, seeing stories about fighting colonial and imperialists little shits are always gonna hit close home)

Don't get me wrong, it is completely valid if you didn't like the live action. Criticism is great, we need it a lot actually if there's going to be a S2.

But saying is straight up shit and garbage (even before seeing it) just because it's not a frame to frame copy and then go online complaining making 5839 posts about it? Grow up.

[teaableu]

feelin down and i just love this blog sm. i was wondering if u had any dtk (or kidstar) hc’s u wanted to share maybe. if not though i hope u have a wonderful day, seeing u on my dash always makes me smile.

OH MY GOD A SOUL EATER ASK?? /POS

i just got a huge serotonin boost tysm anon

YES I DO I JUST GOTTA GO GRAB EM

dtk:

the older Kid gets the less human he seems. Like once he's a full shinigami he gets a whole bunch of power that his dad had that sort of strip away his likeness to humans

going off of ^^ I think Kid's human form is constructed. His true form probably looks more like LD but it's not something he was particularly taught to embody/access so he just sorta stays in his human form

HOWEVER, I really like the idea that Kid just sorta.. generally freaks people out. There's a theory of horror that says monster characters can feel scary just because even though they look it, people can tell they are not quite human. and i think Kid has exactly that effect on people

Kid has regenerative powers because his human form is more of a construct/image than an actual biological organism. he's really made of the same stuff from LD's "cape". so he can't really be killed or severely injured for long, especially as he matures and gets more powerful. I think the only way he can take permanent damage is if his soul itself is affected. Sure he can be hurt and it does hurt but soon he learns to sort of turn off extreme pain, and he always ALWAYS regenerates or recovers. But he's always aware that his friends don't. so if he needs to he'll throw himself in front of his human friends if they're dealt a fatal hit to make sure they aren't severely hurt. This becomes a bad habit when he's older. But his friends always try to protect him too and take care of him, and he unlearns the habit

Liz and Patty set him up on social media and he started with a whopping 1 follower for like a week, but then got millions of followers overnight after Soul (who has a good following count bc of his family's social status) mentioned him and everyone freaked out. That was the way the world found out Lord Death's kid existed. He and Soul destroy bullies together online. Patty pretends to be Kid on his account.

Kid is the Adrien Agreste of soul eater. very popular, people love the image they see of him in the news and interviews and stuff (I think its a lot harder for him to avoid publicity after the anime), but he's a lot different in person and only really gets close to the people who get to know him. everyone else has a sort of skewed perception of him. AKA he is Death's Son and Death's son only to them

Kid can sing but he typically doesn't because he likes to prepare first but doesn't particularly want to take the time to learn a song correctly. He appreciates the art but wouldn't do it. the only thing he knows well is some ancient song his dad taught him in some sort of inhuman language. he sang it ONE time and it freaked Liz out so much she didn't speak to him for a week

Before Kid took them in, Liz would sing ONLY for Patty. And only to comfort her. She did this after they moved into the manor too, when Patty would get nightmares from their life before or just generally have a hard time or anything. One time after Patty woke up from a nightmare and Liz went in to calm her down, Kid was walking by and just stopped at the almost-closed door when he heard Liz singing because A. He wants to know if his sisters are ok and B. He probably doesn't hear many people sing casually, and has definitely never heard Liz sing before and it's... nice?? He stays there for a while but moves on the second Liz finishes so he's not caught. He doesn't say anything. But then after one awful awful mission, Liz is singing to help Patty sleep and Kid just. Stands in the doorway, disheveled and exhausted and they all just,, stare at each other for a moment until Patty opens her arms and Kid shuffles over, a little embarrassed and puts his head in her lap. They are all very tired. And then Liz (after getting over herself) just keeps singing until the two of them fall asleep

Kid only knows how to cry/to cry when he's upset because he saw Maka do it when they were young and now he's a pro. Because he only really LOOKS human a lot of human behavior doesn't come naturally for him so he learns from humans around him. He's much better at mimicking and adopting human behavior than Lord Death, which was LD's whole idea

He's shorter than Liz and Patty until he's about 20, then he's shorter than Liz but taller than Patty

Kid can pick up languages really easily. I think if he's immersed he can speak fluently after a couple hours

I've thought about a thing where individual people outside of Death City think he looks different than how anyone else sees him, like a sort of PJO Aphrodite situation but that may be too much of an identity crisis for him lol

There are no government records confirming Kid exists. The only document or ID he has is that little card from LD that says I'm LD's son I can do what I want and nobody questions it

Kid's human form ages normally until he's an adult but when he's mature his aging slows until it finally stops at some point, not sure when.. maybe around appearing 40?

he is gay and ace and has a very loose concept of gender

only Liz and Patty can touch his hair but only when they're at home

Kid and Maka are besties I don't make the rules. She is the only one he will allow to help with his detective work

Kid and Patty cannot be left unsupervised together or there will be some sort of chaos. they are scarily effective on duo missions, even though Kid doesn't use Patty as a weapon for those occasions

Kid doesn't need to sleep but he does if there are other people around (having Liz and Patty in the house helps) because it's refreshing and he read somewhere it helps build trust

Eyes glow in the dark and he can see fine in the dark

Kidstar:

They're about the same height but Black Star gets a growth spurt and is a few inches taller when they're adults

Kid figures out his feelings first (takes a bit rip) but doesn't do anything about them because he feels like he can't because of his responsibilities

^^ That being said I think Black Star has always been generally aware of his feelings for Kid but he doesn't actually put two and two together until literally the moment before he makes his move lol

I don't think they refer to the other as their boyfriend specifically (at least not often) they just sorta... idk man they're partners, they can't describe their relationship in words dont look at me i'm sobbing

first kiss in the rain lets go

majority of physical affection they do is like. hand holding or light touches on the shoulder or arm it is very special to them

more of a future thing (i got a whole future au so ofc i'll talk abt a future thing lol) i dont think they'd ever feel the need to get married bc they're both stubborn and they got all of eternity to be together and I think a lot of their relationship just generally remains unlabelled and unspoken it just IS

OH sort of ignoring my second kidstar hc I had a hc they got together sometime before the mission to the arctic but nobody except like. Killik knew

For funsies I'll throw in a couple of Black Star headcanons

Tsubaki is teaching him Japanese and how to cook

^^ he likes to cook for his friends even though he's not that good at it yet

Mom is Latina I have some stuff about her here. He starts to learn Spanish after he finds out about her

First partner and first kiss was Killik but they had a mutual and friendly break up

Somehow beats mortality while remaining human idk how he just does ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That is all I can think of right now but I hope you enjoy :)

[damian-al-ghul-wayne]

Damian and Super Boy are so cute I might cry. Giving me the serotonin boost I didn't know I needed.

-🍷

★°•.: No, actually me too. I know it's literally just Jon under the superboy suit but I wish there was more pairing of Damian Wayne out of the robin costume with just Superboy 😭

[stormyoceans]

Monica did you watch the Boys in Love live they did yesterday?? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIa-b_BftJw It unfortunately only has auto-captions, but better than nothing! There aren't too many PoddPapang moment, but the way Podd leans into Papang at 59:56 is super sweet and how Papang immediately uncrosses his legs and makes room for Podd to sit at 53:36 is just soo precious😭😭 Yes I looked up the time stamps specifically so it could give you a serotonin boost, so I hope it does! Hope you have a wonderful day!!🧡🧡🧡

SSSSSTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPP the fact that you took the time to look up and send me the timestamps to the poddpapang moments in the live hoping they would give me a serotonin boost is SO SWEET IDK WHAT TO SAY!!!!!!!!!! literally one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me???????? thank you 🥺

also you were deeply correct because not to be dramatic but THIS???????

CHEMISTRY LEVELS SO CRYSTAL THEY ARE UNLOCKING NEURAL PATHWAYS IN MY BRAIN THAT MY SEROTONIN DIDN'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED BEFORE

i actually ended up watching the whole live yesterday while having dinner and even if i couldn't understand anything they said i was smiling like a fool the entire time because, as it turns out, papang's laugh is addictive and the behaviors being exhibited were hilarious to witness like on one hand you have papang who is a ball of hyperactive feral energy always ready to yap at 130 decibels acting like a gen Z more than the actual gen Zs in the room while on the other you have podd who is a soft spoken introvert easily embarrassed looking utterly lost among those kids but still happy to be there like THIS IS LITERALLY THEM

and while it's true that we didn't get a lot of moments, i LOVE how they were constantly and very naturally reaching out and touching each other throughout the whole thing!!!!!!! (they should have let podd sit on the floor between papang's legs since the beginning tbh, the second he did papang was all-over him)

ALSO THE CHEEK TO CHEEK POSES!!!!!!!!!!!

the kids were trying to come up with creative poses that could match their characters in the show meanwhile poddpapang were like we know what those bitches want (it's me im all the bitches)

SORRY FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE FIXED PAIRINGS BUT I NEED THESE TWO TO STAY TOGETHER AND GET A SERIES AS MAIN LEADS OR IM GONNA COMMIT GRAND SCALE LARCENY AND ARSON TO COPE