#the sensory nonsense of being uncomfortable because you're in super formal clothes for no fucking reason
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golly, y'all. I think i might have trauma surrounding family gatherings, and it manifests in extreme anxiety with regards to travel, and my adherence to strict dress codes according to Extremely High Standards (which tends to mean i Overdress constantly and that's more embarrassing than under-dressing imo)
#the anxiety and depression monsters have Got Me right now and it's not like. helping#i'm as packed as i can possibly be for tomorrow without packign things i still gotta use tonight#and i'm far more settled than i have been because i finally asked the Questions I Needed Answers To#but that weren't going to have answers organically because NO ONE ELSE'S FAMILY IS AS NEUROTIC ABOUT SHIT AS MINE APPARENTLY#that's not true i know mine was not as bad as it could be but like#having to get Every Single Thing you pack approved ahead of time for how formal/informal it's allowed to be#(plus all the purity culture/modesty nonsense i was raised with and the accompanying rules for Lady-types)#getting berated or teased if anything is forgotten - mercilessly and for Decades Afterwards also btw#the sensory nonsense of being uncomfortable because you're in super formal clothes for no fucking reason#like god of course we're all drunks at holidays this shit is a fucking nightmare#anyway...just...idk. i'm just... today has been Unreasonably Difficult For No Goddamn Purpose and i'm just like#so tired.
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