#the season is a fucking sitcom I swear

[theminionjcfucked]

Quinn being the one to talk some sense into Tucker is so on brand for enemies to lovers

[blurban-form]

This is a summary of the article that appeared in Bloomberg BusinessWeek, April 3, 2024. I summarized it a fair bit to focus on what was interesting to me in the article. That said, this is still a long read.

Watch out, a couple of swear words in here.

Bluey may be acquired by Disney which would help Disney: 20% of all TV views on the streaming service Disney+ are “Bluey”. In the fourth quarter of 2023 (excluding movies). Americans watched 731 million hours of “Bluey”.

Brumm accepts an award for best children’s program from the Australian Academy of Cinema and Television Arts in 2019.Photographer: Brendon Thorne/AFI/Getty Images

Joe Brumm is 46, likes sports and surfing, and is brash and unpolished; he seems a little like James Dean in that he’s talented but uncomfortable with fame and having to follow Hollywood conventions and rules… It was noted that Joe Brumm had public relations minders/handlers with him from Disney and the BBC to watch what he said when he was interviewed.

Brumm’s influences include Simpsons, South Park, Peanuts, and Calvin and Hobbes. “Peanuts just meant so much to me growing up” said Brumm. He studied animation in the 2000s at the University of Brisbane and worked in London for the BBC before returning to Australia in 2010 to start Ludo animation.

He came up with Bluey himself, and it was a hard sell initially that the show would be targeting adults and children. He used a lot of his own experiences with his kids to come up with story ideas.

For a while there was the idea of making the show something like an R-rated version of “Peppa Pig”, but that idea was dropped because there was already a similar adult Australian sitcom about raising kids being piloted.

The Australian Broadcasting Company liked the concept of “Bluey” and provided Brumm with A$20,000 ($13,000 US) to create a pilot, which became “The Weekend” episode of Season 1, which was screened at the Asian Animation Summit in November 2016.

Bluey is created at Ludo’s headquarters in Brisbane rather than contracting out the animation overseas, which allows Brumm to continue to tweak episodes up until the last minute. If there’s something he doesn’t like them. He also uses local vocal talent.

The ABC and BBC put up A$6 million to complete the first season of “Bluey”. The BBC made it possible to do this, providing the lion’s share of funding in exchange for distribution and merchandising rights. Australia didn’t have the resources to make the show happen otherwise.

Brumm was very angry when an early critique of Bluey in 2018 said the show made fun of stay-at-home dads; Blumm said he thought to himself “go fuck yourself”.

Within seven months, Bluey was the most watched series ever on the ABC streaming service with 75 million plays of episodes, which led to the BBC commissioning a second season of the show.

Ludo was able to retain control the show, and Brumm was entitled to a share of the revenue.

By 2019, networks in the US were interested in Bluey: Nickelodeon wanted “Bluey”, but they were worried about the name, because it was too close to “Blue’s Clues”. Other networks wanted to change the accents of the characters, and this was a dealbreaker for Ludo and Brumm.

This created an opening for Jane Gould, who was at the time the executive vice president of research and scheduling at Disney’s general entertainment division, who had a comfort level with Bluey because she hailed from Brisbane, and she understood the desire of Brumm and Ludo to keep the show Australian. She didn’t think this was a problem, and she borrowed two episodes to test screen in the US; the kids and parents didn’t have a problem with the Australian aspects of the show. Disney acquired the rights from BBC Studios to air Bluey everywhere except Australia, New Zealand and China.

“Bluey” didn’t get the same marketing push as shows like “The Mandalorian” when Disney+ began broadcasting "Bluey" in June 2020, but soon begin to dominate viewership numbers, in part due to the COVID-19 pandemic. (There was a lot of families spending time watching television and they watched a lot of Bluey.)

The ABC didn’t have a problem with the off-colour humour in “Bluey”, like the use of the word “poo”, and seeing a pony poop in “Markets” and this had to be edited out. Brumm said he hated making these edits... Disney defended these edits saying they were trying to be respectful of different cultural sensitivities, and it’s noted that Disney has since released the uncensored versions of the episodes.

Brumm likes to control his creation. He was upset with some of the early prototypes of Bluey toys because Bandit didn’t look right, he looked like a fridge. He was also concerned that at the beginning that there was too much of a focus on Bluey herself and there weren’t enough toys of all the characters. This concern turned out to be accurate; people wanted toys of all of the characters in the show.

Brumm originally was not sure he wanted to do a second season of “Bluey”, fearing it might not be as good as the first. Brumm doesn’t want to repeat himself in terms of episodes. He wants to make sure that each season is better than the previous one. He was also worried that Bluey would have to stop when Brisbane shut down during the COVID-19 pandemic, but the show continued, with staff working from home.

The “Rain” episode was dialogue-free because Brumm wanted to take a break from writing dialogue at the time.

In Australia, the public and the media have publicly questioned why the ABC didn’t try harder to retain control of the profits from "Bluey" merchandise sales. There was an article in the “Australian Financial Review” that lamented that the ABC had let a gold mine slip through its fingers. It was thought that this decision was shortsighted, but the ABC responded saying they made the best deal at the time that they could. Disney has also been said to have made an error in passing on theme park rights and allowing BBC Studios to retain those rights; people go to Disney parks and ask why they can’t see Bluey there.

Disney isn’t releasing details on whether it’s explored buying “Bluey”, but Ludo says Bluey isn’t for sale, but this could change.

It is noted that there hasn’t been a clear announcement of a fourth season. Brumm has stated previously there will be a hiatus and he’s concerned about the children’s voices changing. His preference not to have to replace the voice actors, and he knows he can’t continue to draw upon his own kids experiences because they’ve grown up.

During the interview, Brumm’s handlers interjected and couldn’t said he couldn’t discuss the final episode.

Speaking anonymously, someone familiar with Disney’s “Bluey” dealings said that Brumm is trying to decide whether he’s comfortable letting other people write for the show, which would make it easier to continue to create episodes, and possibly smooth the way for a Disney acquisition in the future, as Disney would be reluctant to spend billions on a show with only three seasons of episodes.

Brumm said over email that he’s already collaborated on writing some additional episodes and ultimately it isn’t his decision who writes Bluey as he doesn’t own the show.

He thinks the final episode is magical and it sums up everything Bluey has tried to do in the last few years.

[beingfacetious]

please give us the correct negative Ted lasso review

Oh my God. This feels like a trap but I can't help it

update from the other side, this is no joke 2k words long and it's not uh happy lmao so dead dove do not eat

TL;DR:

Bill Lawrence's involvement lessened every season and it fuckin' shows

There were arcs and plot points established over the first two seasons that the writers very obviously just changed their minds about for this season

Takes about this season being dark/ending sad on purpose are MUCH too generous. like giving WAY too much credit.

It turns out most of my feelings boil down to "it's not aggressively bad it's just nonsensical"

How tf was every episode twice as long as in previous seasons but everything important happened offscreen

FIRST OF ALL, since MONTHS before the season started airing, I've nursed a conspiracy theory that Bill Lawrence left the show because of creative differences with Jason Sudeikis and that therefore this season would be significantly less good than previous seasons. This started when I saw Bill tweet that he was going home, basically, and I figured we'd get "season 3 is in post" news shortly thereafter but instead there was that weird stuff about things being delayed because of rewrites...? Anyway, that is mostly to say that I was ready to think this season was worse because I love Bill Lawrence's storytelling and have forever and you should give Cougar Town a shot if you haven't yet it's no Scrubs but it's sweet

There were interviews early in the show in which I swear Jason/Brendan/whoever said they pitched the show to Bill because he's fuckin' good at TV and he basically said "this is a great idea but you're writing to the wrong ending, it should be this," and they were like "wow you're right that is a better ending." I can't find that now but I did find this from a more recent Bill interview:

I ran that show the first year because Jason was still shooting movies while we were doing the writers room. Then, at the end of that year, much like Gary with me, I was like, “Ah, I’ll spend a couple of months teaching him how to edit.” But after like a day or two, he’s like, “Yeah, I got it.” (Laughs.) So, the second year, we ran it together, and I’m only able to do other things now because that guy ran the show himself the third year, as it should be. It’s his voice and his world this season.

Now look, Bill Lawrence is obviously not trying to throw shade here because he's lovely and also this is a Hollywood Reporter article and how immature would that be, but I can throw shade for him and I will: Jason Sudeikis is a talented comedic actor and seems like a very nice man and he had a good idea for a show, and his instincts to involve an extremely experienced showrunner with an insane talent for feelsy found family sitcoms were good and he should have stuck to them!! Telling Bill Lawrence you're good after two days of editing instruction or whatever is stupid!! Insisting on your voice and your world when BILL LAWRENCE'S VOICE IS AVAILABLE TO YOU and also you CO-CREATED THE WORLD whatever gdi

OK fine I'll do Ted/Rebecca next. Obviously I was in for Ted/Rebecca. I wanted them to put their faces together. But look, I'm not a shipper over all else; over all else I want a good storyteller to tell me the story they want to tell. If I expect things or see them coming, that's not bad! That's good! If I'm surprised by things, that's good too as long as it holds together! "Subverting expectations" shouldn't look like spiting the audience, a lie is not a twist, etc. SO. If Ted and Rebecca were meant to be platonic soulmates, that's fine!!! I don't NEED them to kiss!!! But I do not believe these people are even friends in season 3, after season 1 and tbh most of my favorite parts of season 2 were about how much they impact each other's lives. That's a dropped ball and there's NO REASON to have not made time for them to interact meaningfully because every episode was so fucking long. Instead I guess we had to know how super sad Rebecca was about not being able to have children but not need to talk to anyone about it and immediately be fully over it. Also see a lot of lingering shots of Rebecca...looking at a matchbook...

sfjbkfgs early in the season they very obviously established that Rebecca's arc was going to be realizing she actually loves the team and wants to support them and see them succeed because of her own heart and not to spite Rupert, and I guess that happened but why didn't it happen gradually in ways I could see, why did it happen in an episode in which I'm supposed to have known all along that this has to do with her childhood self ?? and in which Rupert has a FULL personality change to facilitate her sudden realization. In what fucking world would he invite her to that meeting, because she's smart or because she brings ~diversity or because maybe he wants to sleep with her again? None of it tracks at all lmao but it was also the episode in which I really enjoyed Tony Head so whatever

speaking of not tracking, Nate.........I've never been invested in Nate especially but he was SO cartoonishly evil at the start and then kind of never again. I was braced for a redemption arc I wouldn't care about but that didn't even really happen?? he got a girlfriend and realized Rupert was a bad role model? it turns out his dad thinks he was a prodigy and always just wanted him to be happy, which, lmao WHAT where????? and what am I supposed to believe about Jade changing her mind about him btw because she's seen people be terrible to him at that very table before AND she has to know he loves the place and the food because he's there all the time, so what was the revelation that turned her from relatable-via-Nate-ambivalence to suddenly heart-eyes just fdslelugatw so much of my feeling about this season isn't even like it's bad it's just it's nonsense

One of my big complaints about the season is just Keeley's whole deal. Separating her from the team/rest of the cast was a wild choice. Barbara is fine but I also would have been perfectly fine without her and none of the other new characters for the PR side story added anything to the show. Especially if at the end Rebecca is just going to write Keeley a check for the chump change she needs to run the agency. Why didn't we just do that to begin with??? I guess this season I'm supposed to think Keeley ~learned to be independent in various ways but, again, I don't ?? And her needing to not be with Roy I guess as part of that and then get back together offscreen but then not really be together maybe but then also possibly having throuple vibes later that never get acknowledged feels, whatever, like something Bill Lawrence didn't write sdfjlsefaj,lwte I know this is my unsupportable argument that post I RBed was making fun of but idc

also Jamie wanting to be with Keeley at the end of the show feels extremely Harry Potter epilogue to me lmao Jamie you don't have to marry someone you went to high school with there are so many people

Roy was fine this season. He didn't have much to do but that's probably for the best lol. Him taking Ted's job is probably the only main character ending I feel like makes sense for this season and the overall show. Him training and begrudgingly becoming friends with Jamie was always funny.

OK one of the wrong reviews was basically like if you don't appreciate this season you don't appreciate classic tragic structure. Fuck off with that. First of all this was a sitcom about soccer so even if they were going for a classic tragedy in season 3 that's stupid and they shouldn't have been. But I also just don't think that's what was happening ??? I think I'm supposed to believe everyone gets a happy ending and I just don't. Like the whole oh it's sad that Ted ends up where he started and it's about how persistent optimism and kindness can burn you out or whatever, that's...if that's what they were going for, again, why tf, and also could we have seen that like. at all. Ted barely Teds for anyone this season (frex the previously mentioned never talking to Rebecca). ROY Teds more than Ted in season 3. If we got to see Ted trying to Ted even, like, twice, and either not being able to dig down and find the positivity or I guess noticing that he needs someone to be that for him, OK, fine. A Ted/Keeley scene would have been a PERFECT vehicle for this. Didn't happen. idk if we're supposed to think he's getting back together with Michelle but that would be so...so bad ??? like what about Tan Lines??? why even have Tan Lines??? even if not, we just left completely unaddressed her starting a relationship with their marriage counselor, which is also BAD lmao. God why did I have to see so much of Michelle this season. Michelle video calls every other episode and two lines for Dr. Sharon. Nonsense. lol one of my friends summarized Ted's ending as "yeah going back to the unfulfilling life that didn't work before the show started is a victory for our protagonist"

Even the soccer of it all re that whole thing was silly. Oh marriage counselor boyfriend is a bad guy because he doesn't care about the soccer game. Oh Ted is happy now because he's coaching Henry's rec league soccer team. like it's fine that EVERYONE is still together in Richmond but he's "home" now and still around soccer which is good because we definitely saw him learn to love soccer during the course of the show. sure Jan

(to be fair I am not the audience for "it's about the kid" plots so even if I felt like it worked from the start of the show for Ted to choose moving back to where Henry is, which I don't, I wouldn't care for it, so maybe those criticisms aren't especially valid) (I didn't care about JD's kid either)

speaking of the soccer though every single scene that revolved around the actual soccer team was essentially perfect. Great use of so many of those boys. Very few notes. Sam in particular had a few nice things this season and of course Colin. Another incorrect review by a critic I actually like very much was complaining about Colin's story this season and it being tired and overdone and not caring about Trent's or Isaac's parts of it, but I actually really disagree! It was well done and it was nice to see in the context of professional sports where, sorry, coming out and being received well is not a cliche thing that happens a lot! Also, hot take! Zava was a good part of this season! Nice contained little story that impacted some characters I actually care about plus he was legit funny! Sometimes things in a comedy should be funny! I'd honestly watch three more seasons of Richmond-focused half-hour episodes with idk probably Brett Goldstein in charge

I haven't mentioned Beard because I just never understood what I was supposed to think about him lmao. By far the funniest character overall but I never felt settled on whether he was meant to be a manic pixie comic relief BFF or if he was like...a real person?? It strikes me as potentially bad that he was so worried about Ted's mental state all the time and never really mentioned his own and that was sort of a thing in the weird s2 episode but then not again? I felt so much ire about so much else I didn't have any for him marrying Jane lmao but I do understand the people who are upset about that because that sure seemed pretty toxic, but wasn't it supposed to be played for laughs? Does that fit in a show that's supposed to mainly be about people treating each other well because we're all we've got? idk, RIP Beard, sorry your best friend in the world wasn't at your wedding because it would have been narratively underwhelming to see him leave and then see him back at a future major event or whatever

idk idk, season 1 Rebecca was one of my favorite characters ever and I was so angry in the middleish of the season about how much I felt like she was being wasted, but by the end I was just like...I mean, what's to be mad at. She's not even her anymore. Ted wasn't Ted anymore. Nate I guess literally reverted back to season 1 Nate which also is that...okay...him ending up lower than he started out feels not great

Good for Mae and the bar boys though, used just the right amount this and every season and always a damn delight

OK this is ridiculous I'm going to be done now. I do want to say I enjoyed several episodes this season a lot! A couple top 10 potentials! I really enjoyed the Amsterdam one actually because it reminded me of like a Nancy Meyers movie, very nice and warm, but it feels worth noting that that is not a feeling I would describe as being struck by fucking lightning :))))))

in conclusion maybe we as a nation can move on now from giving SNL alumni we find charming huge budgets and ethereally talented casts and collaborators and letting them get us emotionally invested in their midlife crises sandbox playing

[nerdynikki94]

Honestly? Did I want more from DTAMHD? Yes, I did. I wanted something signifying actual progression for Dennis' character (even just a crumb of genuine growth) , and I sincerely don't think we got that. However... we did get a fascinating insight into the process of his mind. Dennis' level of self-denial is so ironic and profound. He can't acknowledge the inevitability that he's middle-aged.

(I swear this episode honestly has given me an alt hc, that the show is based in his mind; because logistically, a man of his lifestyle and malnourishment could not commit the feats he is constantly sailing through. TGGB & DTAMHD... back-to-back? What happened to his hand? Did he even sprain it? Or is he just the most dramatic brat in the gang - clearly the latter.)

It is important to note that he didn’t fix the actual problem. He momentarily masked the symptoms, but ignore long-term help with blood pressure medicine is not going to fix the issue, nor is it going to protect him from fucking keeling over in a stressful situation (when he's not in a contained and quiet Doctor's exam room) and his blood pressure spikes.

I'm honestly a little jaded at this point (16 Fucking Seasons of crumbs, y'all), but if one were to continue 'trusting the structure' this episode conveyed a lot.

The B Plot: The pressure cooker. The metaphor parallels the building pressure Dennis quick-tempered bouts of rage. So, to toss out a little 'cat-in-the-wall' conjecture here: The pressure cooker is Dennis, but we all saw him eat that bloody diamond in the end and we all heard Mac's speech about coal turning into diamonds under massive pressure. Dennis' experience is a theory of pressure, he daydreams it all in the span of a minute or so. He's roleplaying with hypothetical obstacles. There's no risk. Maybe Dennis, isn't the pressure cooker, but the coal.

If I were to try and take anything hopeful out of this episode, it would be the way the narrative is showing us that this episode acknowledged that Dennis isn't ready yet. It's not his turn to break. It's going to take real, substantial pressure to get that diamond.

It was a hell of a misdirect (and honestly a little bit of a slap in the face), but if these characters live in the real world, where people are bound by the laws of mortality, then Dennis should have his time.

Genuinely, who fucking knows?

I'm not hating on the episode. We all know this is the trashy dick joke sitcom. I just thought that if Mac & Charlie could have moments of genuine heartbreak, culminating in deep catharsis, that maybe Dennis could have that too.... but no.

Can't wait to see the sunny dudebros miss the point & proclaim Dennis Reynolds - SA victim, traumatized individual with an emotionally tumultuous personality disorder - the new Andrew Tate.

I'm sorry, but yeah. I'm a little miffed. It was all a dream, and everything goes Dennis' way. Y'all I'm fucking tired. This was a great episode for Glenn, but a fucking frustrating episode for Dennis. I may have wanted a little macden, but all I cared about was seeing Dennis face the limitations of his mortality, to see that he's failing his body and his brain. He didn't have to actually take the medicine (I wouldn't expect him to), but Goddammit, everything seems to work out in his delusional favor. So, of course he's going to continue being delusional, and probably only change for the worse.

I'll say it: I wanted a broken Dennis, and we did not get that. He didn't even crack, the unbearble and apparently now canonical Golden God. That episode's title was intended to tease sunnyblr.

Excuse the plethora of tags. I just kept getting more irritated.

[thornheartcat]

Fiona's 2023 Anime Awards

Thoughts on anime this year!

Top 5:

Pluto (even has my mom's seal of approval!)

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End

Heavenly Delusion

Undead Girl Murder Farce

probably Scott Pilgrim Takes Off once I get around to it (I KNOW I'M GONNA I SWEAR)

Show that most came closest to making the top 5 but I think I'll still like Scott Pilgrim better: My Happy Marriage! I want what they have...

Most underrated show: BULLBUSTER. I know robots aren't very in right now or whatever but it's a robot workplace dramedy! Give it a chance!

Runner up: Synduality: Noir. Also robots. This one has such Eureka seveN vibes and I mean that as like one of the highest compliments I can give! I missed shows like this! Bring shows like this back! Also it's from the writer of Bunny Girl Senpai! If I say that will you watch it?

Most overrated show: Oshi no Ko. This shit was 60% monologues about how "the entertainment industry is bad, actually" by volume. Snore.

Runner up: JJK2. I mean it's like fine I guess but at this point JJK is like a vehicle that delivers cool fight scenes to my eyeballs. If you ask me to care about the characters or the mechanics behind the cool fights I will laugh at you.

Most niche show I enjoyed: 16bit Sensation: Another Layer. You have to be in so deep in the world of visual novels and eroge to really appreciate this show but I've been in too deep since I was like 14 so I love it!

Show that most should've been bigger: Undead Unluck. I know it's floundering here because it's a Hulu exclusive and Hulu has literally not even spent a single fucking tweet promoting their exclusive anime for some goddamn reason but give it a chance I am BEGGING YOU. Heavenly Delusion and Synduality: Noir had this same problem but Undead Unluck is based on a SJ property so you'd especially think it specifically would be bigger!

Show that most surprised me: Tearmoon Empire! I didn't know I wanted a show about Marie Antoinette getting sent back in time to prevent her own guillotining, or that I wanted that show to be primarily a comedy, but I got it and I love it! I hope it gets another season, I want to watch Mia bumble her way into becoming a better person and making the world a better place some more!

Runner up: Helck! I'd heard good stuff about the manga so I wasn't surprised it was good but I was surprised at just how well it shifted from comedy to drama and how emotionally invested it got me. Every week of that flashback arc had me yelling "NO!" at my computer when each episode ended because I wanted to know what happened next so badly!

Show that most was just sorta there but I had fun anyway: Mononogatari. It's such standard shounen fare and the art and animation rarely rises above the level of even "competent" but by the end of the second half I found myself genuinely invested in the characters? Also the second OP goes hard as hell

Runner up: Spy Classroom. It's not the best spy show out there, but if you've already watched Princess Principal and Spy x Family and you want more anime spy content it's there for you. I liked the girls and their unique abilities, and the narc episode is counterbalanced by the extremely hilarious and period accurate WcDonald's that is "White Fortress".

Worst anime: A Girl & Her Guard Dog. The premise is already not my cup of tea (not a huge age gap fan and especially not a huge fan of the girl falling for the guy who basically raised her, Bunny Drop style, though at least this series is up front about all that rather than luring unsuspecting people in with wholesomeness), but its execution is what really kills it. There's nothing more profoundly unsexy than the love interest behaving like an overprotective sitcom dad. Also doesn't help that the art and animation are straight DOGSHIT. I feel so bad for the animators, they must've been on an insane crunch, you can really feel that they kinda just shit this one out and you just know they're not proud of it and wish they could've done better work. I also feel bad for fans of the manga, the art there isn't terrible and while translating it to animation was always gonna be a little hard this is a particularly tragic attempt.

Most anticipated of 2024: Delicious in Dungeon and Dandadan!!!!!!! GET HYPE BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[sakebytheriver]

What do you see happening long term with the Hetty x Trevor pairing?

Oh gosh, long term? Idk bro 😭😭😭😭

I personally have no long term thoughts about these two, I think I've made my opinion on their relationship pretty clear, I have no romantic inclinations for their ship, I just want them to fuck nasty for centuries 😭

If I'm being asked to speculate on where the show might go with it as a person who knows how cheesy American sitcoms are usually written I would say the show has a few directions they can take this ship,

1. Nigel uses his newfound knowledge of their secret relationship to blackmail Hetty and try to get the upper hand in their newfound feud which ends with Hetty purposefully outing her relationship with Trevor to show to Nigel he has no power over her and then she and Trevor publically make an announcement that they are done hooking up and it was just an itch they needed to scratch, but then there's an end credit scene where they're hooking up again and are like 'so we're not stopping?' 'of course not' and then we don't hear about H-money for a while until it's needed for plot relevancy

2. Nigel uses his newfound knowledge to blackmail Hetty and she and Trevor fall in line for a while until Hetty stands up for herself and tells Nigel she doesn't care if he tells everyone she won't cow to his demands anymore and then Nigel looks like he's about to reveal to everyone else she and Trevor are together but instead he says something else and keeps the secret, because now he respects Hetty and actually likes her and this secret between them is what brings them together as friends and she and Trevor keep hooking up in secret and then she has gossip time with Nigel about it

3. Nigel is about to march straight up to Isaac right after he caught H-money in the act, but Hetty chases after him and convinces him to keep it a secret one way or another and throughout the episode it looks like he's going to reveal them at a bunch of different points just to mess with them and at the end of the episode Hetty confronts him and he's like 'i made a promise I'd never say anything doesn't mean I can't have fun with it tho' and then he cheekily grins before walking away and the episode ends

4. Nigel immediately reveals that they are hooking up to the entire house in an opening scene before the title card while Hetty tries to play it off that he's making it up because he wants to usurp her, but her and Trevor's protests just make the rest of the ghosts and Sam realize the truth before they all make a grossed out face and noise about it that Trevor gets offended by and then title card and the rest of the episode is the fallout from the H-money reveal

5. We hear nothing about H-money for like two episodes they don't mention Nigel's discovery until one episode it starts with Hetty and Nigel whispering to each other with her being like 'you swear youve told no one' and hes like 'of course i havent but i might' and they have a conversation that feels more like a battle of wits with how much they banter in old timey etiquette speak and then the A or B plot of that episode is Trevor and Hetty trying to figure out if Nigel will blow up their spot or not until eventually the two of them inadvertently just blow up their own spot and then Nigel gets a little comment to be like 'i caught them in the basement two nights ago and she threatened me not to tell' tattle moment that just makes the fallout for H-money worse until eventually the whole house is like actually it's ok with us if you wanna keep hooking up we accept you and then Trevor and Hetty are like 'so we can keep hooking up without keeping it secret' 'does that kinda kill the heat?' 'oh my gosh yes it does' 'oh good thought it was just me, so friends?' 'friends' and then they shake hands and walk seperate ways and stop hooking up only for it to be mentioned as off hand jokes in later episodes and seasons

And I'm gonna stop making predictions now, I could keep going on and on about sitcom tropes with secret relationships, but I think 5 scenarios is enough for now 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[juniperhillpatient]

Alright, so I'm done with 'That 90's Show' season 1. Here are a few takeaways from someone who LOVED the original show:

Bad parts:

The theme song is really annoying & it just bugs me as someone who has spent a somewhat insane amount of time watching & re-watching the original & singing along. This probably won't bother most people but it's irritating to me

Ozzie as a character is borderline offensive to me. I'm not sure that I'd go so far as to say his characterization is racist or homophobic EXACTLY but...there's something uncomfortable about it. He's literally just a sassy quip machine awkward ham-fisted joke deliverer & he makes me cringe. If there's a second season I really hope they delve into him just a little more since he is part of the main group.

It's annoying & weird that Laurie & Hyde are both absent without reference. I can understand not wanting to replace actors who can't be there, but these were 2 important characters to the group & they could've very easily given us a throwaway comment about where they were. It's just....bad writing, & incredibly noticeable & uncomfortable.

Good parts:

Let's just get this one out there first - every single OG cameo had me cheering. Yes, I claim to hate reboots & remakes & I scream about letting things end & I stand by that but if they're going to do it, I want it done well damn it & this show did in my opinion. I just absolutely loved every single appearance from the original cast members.

I love Jackie & Michale as the couple in a perpetual cycle of getting divorced & back together. I loved Fez as a hair salon owner living his best life. Donn & Eric were iconic. I cheered for Leo's hilarious & fun cameos & same with Fenton's. They did justice to my faves who appeared.

The new characters are interesting & fun for the most part. I like that they reference the original characters without being stand-ins. These characters have their own stuff going on & their conflicts are funny & entertaining. It took a while to get me truly invested but I was always entertained. This show has the same funny charm & humor as the original. The chemistry between the main cast & the humor works really well.

KITTY & RED!!!!!!!! This one I'm not even sure if it needs to be explained but god...I just fucking love Kitty & Red Forman so much & seeing them with a house full of teens being their awesome selves filled me with joy. I just fucking love them.

Not a good part or a bad part but something I'm speculating about:

I'm fine with the little last minute Jay Nate Leia Nicky triangle / square whatever & the canon romance drama. It feels similar to early seasons 'That 70's Show' conflicts & I'm certainly entertained. And I like Jay. He's fun & cute & he's totally SUCH a Kelso. But.....

I SWEAR I almost thought there was going to be something canon between Leia & Gwen SEVERAL times. I mean, sure, me shipping the two girls? Yeah, that's typical but it almost felt like there might be something canon there. Their entire dynamic is SO reminiscent of Eric & Donna. The dork who lives next door to the cool girl? The moments on the hood of the Vista Cruiser? Sneaking through windows? I'm not delusional am I like PLEASE tell me y'all saw it too? Also, there's a textual (not even subtextual!) love triangle between Gwen, Jay, & Leia! Leia literally promises them both her time & does the whole sitcom double-booking her afternoon thing. She talks about loving them both! What??? Like....I don't know if I'm crazy but it REALLY feels like the show might just be going somewhere with this if it gets renewed.

Alright, that's all I have for this post! Those are my main reactions to this show.

[crazy56u]

Just woke up 15 minutes ago, let's do this.

Once again, no saga sell. Meanwhile, in a pre-SAG-AFTRA Strike Hollywood...

Why do I get the feeling this guy was originally meant to be played by Kevin Costner?

"So, no filters." So, I take it this is at least in the 90s?

A movie where a scientist clones shit, I think I saw that on MST3K.

And right off of the bad, we're waxing poet about scripts. That's how you know this aired after the Writer's Strike ended.

Hey, look who finally decided to show back up to work!

I still say Tom's getting retconned through Ben preventing the time skip at the end of the season.

"This is the stuff dreams are made of." If that is meant to hint at my earlier theory being correct…

I swear to God, I thought Ian was wearing a red hat.

I feel like this was the cheapest episode to make, given how this was filmed without sets.

April 4th, 2000. Two fours, and a leap year, so of course Not Kevin Bacon died.

Hey, Ben, look on the bright side, this is pre-Jimmy Fallon-era Tonight Show. ...but, that does mean Jay Leno...

"Old address", teah, sure, keep telling yourself that…

Ben, I'm willing to bet you just lost him.

"Damn, I really suck at this Hollywood thing. … Addison, can we do commercials early?" "Yeah, why not…"

"Who loses Neil Russell?" People who don't love him?

And Ben commits a federal crime, and opens another man's mail.

A backyard wedding? In 2000?

And Ben almost gets run over by Roman soldiers.

"I think I may have blindsided people this morning, I don't think they expected me to come back to the show."

"What do you think about your first leap?" "…technically, wasn't that the bank robbery one?"

You know, while we're wasting time with this Tom and Addison shit, we could've seen more of Ben hitching a ride with the Romans.

"Hey, Rachel, no biggie, but I saw a thing on a computer, and I'm slightly freaking the fuck out."

Ben's got a golden ticket, this is the closest we will get to him leaping into Willy Wonka.

Look, who among us hasn't found themselves lying on the floor?

Ben, the biggest sitcom on TV was Full House, shut up.

…why is Neil's life slowly turning into Season 1 of Bojack Horseman?

"We get him to Leno, everyone wins. Literally the only time someone ever said that ironically."

"Look, please, I know I crashed your wedding, but I wanna get married again, this is 100% not a nervous breakdown."

"He's a sidekick, he's not a leading man! He doesn't vaguely remind the audience of Bojack Horseman!"

Uh oh, the badass brought out the whipping stick!

"Oh, wait, you're an agent, I'm not mad anymore."

"I don't wanna think, I don't wanna talk, I just wanna go on a boat-" "Okay, let's calm down!"

I wonder how Jay Leno must feel knowing this entire episode is built around him…

"I was quitting way too soon, we're only 15 minutes in!"

"We're winning Laura back!" And Ben and Addison low-key have a stroke.

Meanwhile, in... Blade Runner, I guess.

"Ian? Why are we in the blue dimension, and why do I suspect it involves Project-bullshit?"

What if it turns out this chip was what Jenn was talking about, and nothing else secretive was going on?

"Unless you find Ben, you'll never have a TV show."

Ian, you know what show you're on, you fucking know lying won't work in the long run.

"I can deal with your savior complex." That was a straight faced lie.

…was he calling Charlie Sheen? "Charlie Carter." Okay, thank God- okay, they're connected to Katzenberg, nevermind.

"You know, I once helped a bounty hunter-" "I thought you were never going to talk about Las Vegas, Summer?"

"How do you know she's the one?" "Because if she ain't, I'm getting on a boat and dying at sea."

And Neil indirectly shames Addison.

"And you're just drifting through life, lost, putting right what once went wrong-"

"We got flowers, we got the opera legend, we just gotta commit a crime!"

Robbing a wax museum. Only in Hollywood.

Addison, you can't keep shitting on Ben behind his back, he will find out, and he will get pissed.

"Ben's earned a little leadership. As a treat."

And Magic delivers some awful books. (ba-dum-ching!)

We're now in a horror movie, hot fucking damn.

Okay, I legitimately almost screamed after Not Yoda Jumpscare.

Is Not Jason Vorhees about to spring to life, I legitimately am getting freaked out the longer we stay here.

"Just get the tuxedo and go." "POLICE, OPEN UP, WE KNOW YOU'RE ROBBING THE WAX MUSEUM!"

Ben, you know what you have to do: Help Neil pick his cuffs, and escape the cops.

I don't like how quickly Ben learned the Hollywood magic of gaming the system.

But, hey, at least the cop took the bribe.

I don't know how Jenn is able to read that book, if that spotlight is shining directly at her like that.

I technically called it about that chip thing.

"So, that shitty chip is the only think letting us find Ben? Ian, no offense, but you suck at this."

"This is destiny, Summer. You know what happened the last time I tried to talk my way out of an arrest?!"

"Did Plan A go wrong?" "Ben, Neil almost got fucking arrested, what do you think?"

"It's about his daughter." "No, it's about Laura." (why-not-both.gif)

Addison, that is what we in the field like to call "Overplaying Your Hand". Now Ben's mad mad.

We have officially reached the "Relationship Bullshit Event Horizon".

"Hey, Frank, why is that agent yelling at a ghost about being abandoned for three years?" "Forget it, Jake, it's Hollywood." "I fucking hate you for making that joke."

"You know what else I did? (pointedly leaves the Imaging Chamber)"

Addison, no offense, but I'm still on Ben's side, not yours.

"Hey, Summer, why do you look like your heart got stomped on? Come on, we gotta crash a wedding!"

There is a non-zero percent chance that mug has bourbon in it.

"Hey, Addison, I know you and Ben had that fight, but I gotta talk to someone about this chip-"

"We have a few last minute flowers." "Ma'am, I know that Neil is hiding behind them."

"Summer, the bushes ate our tulips. I told you this would happen!"

Okay, having quickly looked this up, The Wedding Crashers came out in 2005, so if it turns out Ben indirectly caused the movie to exist-

"Neil, look, you're very sweet, but I am now convinced this is a nervous breakdown, do you need a blanket, or…"

"Look, time's passed, neither of us are the same people anymore. ...I can't help but notice your agent has that look on her face, so maybe that relates to her as well, but, I gotta go get married, have fun."

I'm actually impressed that Neil didn't bolt while Ben was busy apologizing to Addison.

"We still have 'The Tonight Show'." "Nah, fuck that, call me Ishmael."

[Annnnnnnnnd text limit!]

[beaversatemygrandma]

I guess weekly yapping about people and work

work is just boring without my people around. those people made work fun. Now the biggest form of social entertainment is this one 18yo dipshit (if you follow my yapping, the snitchy and not exactly looking out for fellow coworkers one) who proceeds to do stupid things when bored. And with it being quiet season until school gets out, that's a lot. Yesterday, he found a leafblower and proceeded to speak in nothing but spongebob quotes, while occasionally blowing at one of us. I threatened to hit him with a wet paintbrush of brown paint, he stopped. (these threats are not lies. when the guys get bored, they get stupid. I've whipped a previous one with a towel bc of dumbassery, with no warning bc he scared me and we were close) Today was repelling himself down from a zipline to paint the upper part of the office. When there was a pause, i glance down the porch to see him literally swinging aimlessly from one side of the office to the other. It's the boredom. I was out back with him before that, and suddenly rope was falling in a solid stream like six inches behind me and at the end of the rope, i fully expected him to just thud right down beside me (of all things he has nearly dropped on my head in the last two weeks) but the rope stopped and I hear "oh thank god" from above. He's still alive. The boss even joked to me "tell me how loud the thud is so I know how tall I have to dig the hole" depending on who fell from this rope system today. Other than all this going on, I have been So Fucking Bored at work.

Due to all the firing, I've gotten to the point where I literally say, in front of the managers btw, "you guys make me miss (the parolee) and i just saw him yesterday." The new guys are not fully trained and lets be honest here, the one who is is fairly stupid. And probably comes like a foot away from concussing me at least weekly.

But then speaking of the parolee. Yeah, I managed to slow down his whole crush, but definitely didn't kill it bc for some weird reason I Keep Wanting to go to his place after work. Like, it just works. Guy knows how to crack my back Good which is nice after a day of work. It gives my bf some extra time to get his remote work done so he can try to actually get more than 10 hours a week in. And I guess just hanging out with somebody different from usual. Today we actually ended up being alone in his garage instead of having his daughter run up every couple minutes. I was Chatty due to the nature of today's work (painting, minor sitcom like chaos going on in the background, sudden burst of 33 5th graders in a day of otherwise nothing...) So he's just continuing his work on his motorcycle which he's just excited to drive again next month while I'm just going on about shit for an hour. Once i say i should head out bc sunset is like 25 minutes away and i can't drive at night with a 25 minute drive, he does the usual back crack (which i swear is getting physically closer each time he does by the day), and i just briefly mention this knot in my shoulder i had for the last two days which just stopped hurting. This guy straight up just grabs my shoulder in just the right way that targeted where i pointed out there being a knot and started rubbing. I melted to this. Like holy shit. Hands of a fucking god there. He could definitely tell that I just fucking melted to that and went ahead and got both shoulders for a minute before suddenly stopping and just leaving me there dazed and mildly confused about the sheer melting and says that I should go before he just does that all day. Which honestly, I'd let him.

Anyways, this is actually a few days later edit. Trying to keep this out of certain eyes. He made a more ballsy move and texted me while I was at work that summed up to how he's been feeling a bit too soft and shouldn't be catching feelings for somebody who's already got a bf and obligations and such. I ended up just assuring him that the soft is half the reason I keep coming back anyways and explained the actual situation with my bf. I'm only really still here bc I can't really go anywhere else. My bf doesn't really satisfy me in more ways than one, I remembered why he annoyed me in high school, he can't get anything done, and i just don't see this relationship going anywhere. It's stagnant and I'm bored. Apparently that was the vibe he was picking up when he thought that I was subtly giving him signs. The signs were just me when manic and feeling a bit more antsy about my whole situation. I've been stuck and wanting to let loose again. I was doing that to everybody, he's just the only one who noticed. Either way, the conversation ended with him admitting that he wouldn't be able to help the situation at all, due to his own awkward living situation, and basically saying that he just wants me to be happy and content. I also told him that I'm still gauging the level of red flags i get from him. Bc again. Parolee. Dude is Not in a good place for this and I'm still a bit unclear on what led him to be there.

Either way, I'm still just continuing. I'm now flirting with a single dad over top of his daughter while she's trying to get his attention and became visibly jealous that I was getting a lot of it. I mean, she's five. But it was kinda funny. Today when i swung by it was just casual conversation in between minor child chaos, and subtle flirting through the whole thing. Though, he went to immediately crack my back once i said i should head out, and his daughter just got all up on him about doing that for her and just suddenly wanting every bit of attention after i got a bit more physical attention. She was the first one to say bye to me. When i head to my car and sit there with the door open as I get ready to drive off, she reiterates her bye and slowly shuts the door as she just scooters past. Like this kid wanted me out of her way and he was holding back that whole time and i could easily tell. I've never had to deal with somebody with a kid like this, mostly bc the only other one didn't have custody. I have no clue how to deal with a kid, period, let alone here.

My whole thing is wondering why the hell I'm doing this. Like the entire thing just sounds like a terrible idea. But he is genuinely a very sweet guy. And I can tell I'm getting in deep bc when he's still trying to be all 'hard and masculine' I'm just sitting there thinking 'what a fucking dork.' And what still trips me up about the whole situation is the fact that he had the attention of so many women at work and he focused on me. like what. We are not on the same level in the slightest. I mean, it's a bit of an ego boost, so hey.

And you know how i said that i swear he's getting physically closer with things each day? Yeah. He wasn't as close today. Bc the kid was Right There. I was right. He's doing that. I mean, i thought it was weird that i was feeling mildly turned on each time I left, but yeah, that was the goal. Something is definitely going on there. Like it's even a doubt that something is going on now, but still. And tmi, but what really just puts a nail in the coffin for this, is at one point where i left there mildly turned on, I tried to do something about that with my bf and wow was i disappointed. Like what the hell. I mean, yeah sure, haven't really had a good lay in like two years now, but i did NOT realize it was that bad. So bad that just that little bit of contact with this guy has that much of an effect on me. Not to mention the whole sex dream with him that involved staying the night and the hot tub. I want to use the hot tub again for the sake of my muscles bc that thing was miraculous, but I both do and don't want to end up recreating that dream.

This is both driving me nuts and i don't want it to stop. So. That's just great. I didn't exactly want feeling to form for him, but here we are i guess. Probably shouldn't go for this one, but here we are.

[ednacrabapple]

So I just finished watching the six individual episodes that got Emmy nominations for outstanding writing in a comedy series like I've been threatening to do and here they are ranked from best to worst:

Pride Parade - WWDITS

This might be the best episode of any sitcom I have ever seen in my life. There is so much that happens in this episode. I've seen it a million times and I still don't know how they fit everything in AND made sure everything got enough time. This episode has EVERYTHING. Nandor goes to space. Laszlo terrorizes people at the beach. Colin Robinson and Ghost Nadja both posses Nadja's body. It's insane. This episode absolutely deserves the Emmy (though we all know it won't win). And I still want to know why Nandor wasn't speaking to Matthew (the little bird that flew into his room that he was trying to befriend) anymore lol

Also Natasia Demetriou absolutely should have been nominated for a best actress Emmy for her performance in this episode alone but that's a story for a different time

2. Orlando - Girls5eva

The 30 Rock vibes are immaculate. I had no context for anything that was happening and I still loved every second of it. I was literally laughing the entire time I was watching this episode. Paula Pell especially is outstanding. This one episode made me want more and I need to watch the entire show now. I loved it

3. Brooke Hosts a Night of Undeniable Good - The Other Two

God this episode was so fucking chaotic and insane. I literally don't even have anything specific to say about it. It was just so fun??? Also that fricken song that Cary and the other gays were singing is stuck in my head. Amazing episode no notes

4. Career Day - Abbott Elementary

Now, I absolutely adore Abbott, which I'm sure you can all tell by now, so it really hurts me to put it so low on the list, but honestly Career Day was the weakest episode of the season in my opinion. It was still good - the whole plot with Melissa and Gary was so well done and heartbreaking, and some of the jokes about Ava going to Harvard to use their wifi to earn a degree from Grand Canyon university were hilarious, but overall I think this episode could have been way better. It just felt like something was missing, ya know? I think there are some other episodes from this season, like Smoking or Party, that were better overall and maybe deserved the nomination more. I still love this show, but this episode is kinda meh

5. Bulletproof - Hacks

I know absolutely nothing about this show or the characters, but the episode was still so compelling. This is definitely a show that handles the whole "dramedy" thing well from what I can tell. I definitely enjoyed this episode, but it just wasn't quite as good as some of the other episodes that got nominated. Also, that scene on the plane with the sorta proposal was amazing lol

6. Fishes - The Bear

This show is not a comedy. Full stop. It is a drama. Like, sorry it can't compete against Shogun, but how is that WWDITS' fault? Or Abbott's fault? Or Girls5eva's fault? It should be in the drama category - NOT stealing nominations from actual comedies.

That being said, this episode was just not good. It was so boring. It couldn't hold my attention for more than a few minutes at a time, and it was just so long. It felt like it was never going to end. And I swear it was 90% people yelling at each other and nothing else. But don't worry everyone, I'm sure this is the episode that will win the award, despite being the least deserving by far 🙄

[bones-sprouts]

@jrwiyuri you asked for this

OKAY SO.

1960s spiderman: really low budget show that has ended up being generally memed upon. it's charming for what it is, but you can't really say it's held up. obsessed with pete sounding like a radio announcer or smth though

1981 spiderman - basically just the 60s show again but with a slightly higher budget. i watched it a little but i cared about it less than:

spiderman and his amazing friends - this one was an extension of the 81 series, it paired up pete with ice man of the x men and original character firestar !! it's not a fan favorite it was definitely made to sell toys but it was my jam as a small child. it was very weird firestar got mind controlled by dracula in 1 episode but it was fun and there was a little dog who was the best ever

spiderman 1994: i think it and another series we'll mention soon are battling for the prize of The Spiderman Cartoon. this one is the most iconic for sure i never watched all that much of it (i was mainly exposed to 80s and 00s shows as a kid but not much 90s) but it was pretty solid👍

spiderman unlimited: this show was fucking CRAZY it was a followup to the 94 series but there were rights issues and it was trying to copy batman beyond so it was a bit of a mess. to sum it up spiderman venom carnage john jameson and a couple other characters are stuck on a parallel earth inhabited mainly by furries. humans are discriminated against and they fight a rebellion and also some earth 2 variants of classic spidey villians. it also ended on a cliffhanger. shit was crazy

mtv spiderman: was made to be a continuation of the first tobey maguire movie before the second one came out, follows pete (who is played by neil patrick harris???) mj and harry thru their college years!! the animation is really rough bc it was a cg cartoon in 2003 but honestly i really like the style they were trying to go for. also it could get really weirdly dark a lot of the time? it rules

spectacular spiderman: THE BEST SPIDEY SHOW OF ALL TIME. HANDS DOWN. MAYBE THE BEST SPIDEY PERIOD I WILL STAND BY THIS. it's so so great it has a bunch of really interesting spins on villians (i think about the twist with the goblins constantly it was so good) and their writing is just so great. THEIR PETER IS SO GREAT. THE BLACK SUIT STORY IS THE BEST ITS EVER BEEN. there's a lot of Teen Drama so it may not be for everyone but i swear to christ it's so great. everyone reading this look up the theme song and you'll understand. warning though it does end on a cliffhanger because of:

ultimate spiderman: okay this show was Controversial. when disney bought marvel they left spectacular on a cliffhanger so they could start it. spidey is put on a shield team with nova, iron fist, white tiger, and luke cage (who is almost exclusively referred to as power man). it relies super heavily on the comedy and meta jokes, which can get Tiring. it had a crossover episode with Jessie (the children's sitcom). they did i believe is the first spiderverse adaptation and the later seasons replace most of the cast with more spider people. they call miles kid arachnid.

marvels spider man: this show has been ripped to shreds so many times and honestly i can't really defend it. they turn every character into a supergenius and then turn every character into spiderman. i think my hot take is im sick of having like thirty spidermen like if you aren't doing spiderverse one is fine man. anyways the only thing i liked is they adapt superior spiderman (the comic where doc ock and spidey switch bodies) and it was really great honestly i really like their otto. he dies though so then i stopped watching

spidey and his amazing friends: its just pj masks with spiderman. next

spiderman freshman year: this show isn't out yet but i love it so much. there's speculation it may get cancelled and i swear i will die if that happens all of the concept art looks GORGEOUS im so excited about it

someone ask me to list and explain all the spiderman cartoons in chronological order

[itsclydebitches]

What are your thoughts on Ted Lasso?

I finished season two tonight so I can finally write this very disorganized, but entirely heartfelt Ted Lasso Review!

Two disclaimers:

Spoilers abound, so if someone hasn't watched the show yet (and they should) you might want to skip this.

I know fuck all about sports. If anyone has criticisms and/or praise for how the sports aspects are handled... I will not know what you're talking about. Sorry lol.

So what’s good about Ted Lasso? The entire show.

/end review.

JK, I’m taking this seriously, I swear. Right, so I went into Ted Lasso knowing only “It’s a comedy,” “It’s about soccer,” and “Literally everyone seems to love it.” So I had a pretty vague, but otherwise firm picture of a sitcom-esque situation that would please the majority of watchers. The opening credits immediately tipped me off that this show was far more than a series of (very well-written) jokes and I couldn’t be happier to have my expectations obliterated. (Side note: I'll have to make a separate post sometime about the credits and how/when they change). I came in hoping for “Football coach tries to teach soccer” silly times and I got that ALONGSIDE “Wonderful commentary on toxic masculinity, the influence of fathers, how harmful the sports industry can be, the importance of giving others support so they can finally grow, and how utterly badass friendships of all sorts can be.”

The development of the entire cast is spot on, whether we’re talking about becoming a better person, or becoming the worst version of yourself. Nothing will ever be funnier to me than Roy pulling a constipated face for a solid 30 seconds before yelling “FUCK” because Jamie has finally grown enough to apologize for something, or respectfully voice his disagreement, and Roy has likewise grown enough to recognize what a big step that is for him, so he can’t just punch him in the face like he wants to, and ugh being a mature adult sucks.

Meanwhile, Nate’s journey (so far) has been so well done and so, so tragic. Rather than overcoming his insecurities thanks to Ted’s support, he latched onto him so fiercely that he sees Ted giving attention to anyone else as “abandonment." Instead of hearing the appropriate confident boost that Rebecca offered him—make yourself feel big and powerful in some private place—he twists that into an act of cruelty—spitting, notably at himself through the mirror—and that quickly spiraled into the belief that cruelty is the only way to gain respect. Nate has been sucked into this cycle of gaining enough self-respect to know he deserves more, turning that into wanting everything, not being able to handle life’s inevitable disappointments, and thus becoming furious and pointing fingers even when he does get what he thinks he wants—like with the team successfully using his strategy. Before the game is even complete, he’s saying that they’ll lose and everyone will blame him for that loss, OR that they’ll win and everyone will give Ted the credit. Nothing can please him, largely because the one person he wants to impress, his father, continues to ignore his success and Nate has reached a point where lashing out at everyone else is easier than sitting with the fact maybe he can’t make his father be a better person simply by achieving more. It’s so disheartening to see Nate turn into a man who would air Ted’s mental health struggles to the press just to make himself look better in comparison, but in a “Goddamn this is well written and I can easily see it happening” way. Nate has become Ted’s foil, especially on the pitch, someone who prioritizes (perceived) success over the love, respect, and mental health of his team. Ted, as established in episode one, cares more about the needs of everyone around him than what most assume is success in this sport: winning instead of losing. And he continues to become a better man by realizing that sometimes winning is what others need, whether that’s for practical reasons like not letting their careers go down in flames, or just because they can win and should be encouraged to reach for that. Ted is finding a balance while Nate plunges deeper into a black and white view that's eating him alive.

So the development is stellar (if I get into every character we'll be here forever lol), but so is the humor. I want to write Ted Lasso fic so badly now, but I know in my heart-of-hearts that I don’t have the skill to pull of this witty, pop-culture laden dialogue. Something in particular I love is how the dialogue doesn’t just sit as, you know, polished TV dialogue. The kind of stuff that’s so amazing you’re always thinking in the back of your head, “Yeah, but no one talks like that in real life.” And sure, Ted Lasso inevitably still produces that feeling, but it’s undercut by how often the characters acknowledge their own, verbal sparring. They frequently compliment each other on a smart turn of phrase, drawing attention to the fact that it is smart and worth taking a moment to admire, rather than the joke just sitting there, not commented on, because all people definitely talk like that, yeah? They also frequently mess up. One person will set the other up for that cool phrase and they miss it. Like Higgins’ “I’m Jimmy” while shaking his paper and Ted doesn’t realize he’s supposed to follow up with “Page.” We’ve got this dynamic where everyone is trying to playfully one-up each other. It takes work and it doesn’t always land. This, combined with how much of the dialogue relies on collaborative thinking (like Beard telling Lasso what he’s aiming for), as well as what are clearly long-established inside jokes, makes the whole thing feel natural even though this kind of writing shouldn't feel natural at all. There’s an extra layer of fun there that I really enjoy.

Okay, I’ve ranted for a page and a half now, but I do want to acknowledge some of the cons here too. Season two, while very strong in many respects:

did have some plotlines that fizzled out, most notably the boycott of the team's sponsor. Things were building for so long only to get resolved through a random text message. Sam asks to pull out of a contract, Rebecca is already dealing with the fallout of that, then the whole team comes out with the tape on their shirts, then Sam ACCUSES THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT OF CORRUPTION… and then a few episodes later his dad is like, “They stopped killing the environment! Good job👍‍” Don’t get me wrong, I love the conflict itself, but for a show that’s worked so hard to treat its relevant issues respectfully and realistically, this conclusion came entirely out of left field. I was waiting for the inevitable consequence of the boycott and the impact Sam’s press conference would have on his carrier, but nothing ever came of either decision (with the exception of another Nigerian wanting to snatch him up for that notoriety). “And then the environmental devastation whose wealth funds this sport was fixed off screen, yay!” doesn’t feel like it belongs to the same story where, say, Ted unlearns his prejudice about therapy and finally acknowledges his father’s suicide in a deeply heartfelt, relatable scene.

Side note though: cutting between Ted’s suicide story with Rebecca’s cheating story? Inspired. One of the best scenes of both seasons.

Also, sorry for anyone who’s a fan of it, but I cannot get behind Sam and Rebecca. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some prude who wants my storytelling to be free of any “problematic” content. It’s just that this feels like such an unnecessary move for two characters who, frankly, already have enough going on. (See: Sam’s activism.) As said, Ted Lasso is a show that’s very self-aware. From Roy’s comment that the nice, boring guy Rebecca was dating is “age appropriate,” to her freaking out and framing her texting Sam as “grooming” him, there’s not doubt the show is aware of how messed up it is for the 40-some owner of a soccer team to date her 21yo player. So when they realized they’d been anonymously chatting with each other this whole time, I was here for it as a funny, but somewhat devastating reveal. Rebecca clearly adored talking to someone as sweet as Sam and Sam, as evidenced by both his, “Three dots!” and calling for his haircut, had high hopes for this woman. The awkward humor of their realization combined with the gut-punch of losing that potential partner is the exact kind of emotional mix that has become Ted Lasso’s brand. It's good in that context.

But then?? They ran with it???

Why, why, why, literally why? There was no reason to do that. I could maybe buy this decision at the start of season one when Rebecca was coming off of her divorce and making bad choices left and right, but she’s come so far since then. Why the backslide? Except—and this is the real kicker for me—the show doesn’t treat it like a backslide. Rebecca freaks out when she first realizes she’s been flirting with Sam. Then she spends days talking herself out of what she knows is a bad decision. Then she convinces Sam to keep it quiet because she (again) knows that this isn’t right. Yet when the relationship is finally revealed… it’s treated as any old dalliance for the girls to gossip over. I was legit cringing through the funeral scene when Keeley, Sassy, and Rebecca’s mother were all acting like her dating a guy 20+ years her junior who she has complete power over is no different from the one-night-stands she was having with the hot dude who never wore clothes in the kitchen. I didn’t like Rebecca making that move in the first place, but I thought the show would at least unpack how questionable this is in terms of the power dynamics. It absolutely didn’t. We’ve left them having broken up only because Rebecca wants to work on herself some more and Sam very much implying that he stayed because of her, with every other character flat out ignoring the problems in this relationship. (Here, Ted's silence is the only one I can accept characterization-wise, just because he's established as a) always looking on the bright side of things and b) not someone who gets involved in other's love lives, like with Beard and Jane. But Keeley should absolutely be calling her out.). The show leaned heavily into the iffy nature of the romance and then swerved hard into classic romance tropes. It’s the one part of the show that really left me shaking my head going, “Nah. Toss that whole arc in the bin and replace it with more environmental activism, please.”

Right, this is getting long, so let me end with the biggest criticism of all: NOT NEARLY ENOUGH TRENT CRIMM. Also, I’m sorry, but where is my Trent/Ted plotline? Is this not the kind of rom com(monism) that Ted Lasso deserves? Hey, tumblr: is it queer to be a hard-ass sports reporter who thinks this coach’s existence here is a “fucking joke” and fully plans to write a piece utterly decimating him to the public, only to unwittingly be charmed over Indian food and then, a year later when he’s only gotten the occasional drive-by interaction, throws away his journalistic credibility and rats himself out to be fired all so that this coach would know who did him dirty and he decides to freely tell him all this while waiting for him outside his job in a super sexy wall lean, so focused on looking cool—“the whole vibe”—that he LOCKS HIS KEYS IN HIS CAR? IS THAT MAYBE A LITTLE GAY?

Trent wants to find something “deeper” yeah okay, season three can get on that 😏

Seriously though, I think a romantic plotline—either reciprocated or one-sided on Trent’s part—could actually be in the works. There’s a lot the show has already hinted at to support that as a future development (Trent’s presumed date with the other mustached man, Ted’s whole journey of improving his mental health and discovering who he is post-divorce, the final interaction of season two that comes across as quite flirty in places, the fact that, again, Trent made a HUGE decision that feels like more than just doing right by an acquaintance he “respects,” or even just using this to get out of a job he no longer loves), but I’ll be the first to admit that it’s easy for us fans to see the potential. That doesn’t mean the show will ever capitalize on it. HOWEVER, Ted Lasso has been so good about tackling representation and toxic masculinity that I can’t imagine they’re not aware of the actual, elephant sized criticism in the room: no queer rep. Outside of that moment where Trent puts his hand on another man’s arm, a fan being creepy with Keeley, and a Grindr joke, this massive ensemble cast doesn’t have a single, confirmed queer character in it. Which is ridiculous considering the focus on soccer and the theme of fathers hurting their children. Someone struggling with their sexual identity in the hyper-masculine world of sports and/or grappling with the fact that they’ve disappointed their father by not loving the "right" person is TAILOR MADE for this show. Which is why I think this is one of the rare cases where the fanbase should wait with high hopes, simply because this show has been too self-aware and that conflict is too relevant for us to go the whole series without it being addressed. We might not get any Ted/Trent, but I believe we'll be getting something soon.

Is it frustrating in 2022 to wait 2+ years for that kind of story? Sure, but the show has been excellent outside of one or two hiccups and a part of that excellence is knowing not to pack too much into one season. Season two was the first time we really delved into Ted. Not the endlessly optimistic version of Ted he sometimes hides behind, but the man still haunted by his father’s suicide and trying to do right by his surrogate kids (something that will undoubtedly come up after Nate’s accusation of Ted “abandoning” him. Bullshit or not, that’s going to eat at him). If the show is going to tackle Ted’s sexuality—or even any of the players’ on his team—I think it’s good that it’s happening later in the show, after the initial conflict of “Will this coach make it?” and “Everyone is backstabbing and learning to trust each other.” Now that we’ve settled into this found family, the characters can start growing in new, less obvious ways. We had to work through the inevitable "Jamie becomes less of a dick" and "Ted proves his worth" storytelling before we could get to the more complex "Nate has left them for Richard's team (right after Rebecca told Keeley never to work for him #yikes)" and, potentially, "Ted gets to explore his sexuality now that he's moved on from his wife and is regaining a strong sense of self-worth." Toss in the tidbit that Trent will have a significant role in season three and it honestly doesn't feel as impossible as it otherwise might. I come from old school fandom where we shipped what we liked without worrying about what was canonical, or even what had "evidence" to support it (all hail the crackship!), so know that when I say I think a relationship is possible, that's not my normal approach. I don't toss out, "Oh yeah, we might and should get the ship the fandom loves in canon" very often.

Seriously though, not to end on a joke, but of course I wound up loving Trent.

Me @ me: Hey, this is a huge cast overflowing with amazing characters you’re already attached to. This time can we please focus on one of them rather than some random side character with little screen time?

Also me: I want that one :D

[taeyohonic]

favoritism (m)

summary: you’re quarantining with your favorite person during a global pandemic (established relationship, idol au) pairing: min yoongi x fem!reader rating: explicit (18+) warnings: the pandemic is discussed, smut (vaginal intercourse, heavy kissing), swearing, the tv show f.r.i.e.n.d.s is discussed (i imagine that can be a trigger for some…) info: this is a follow-up to this drabble! i needed some established fluff… words: 2.2k

“since when does rachel like ross back?”, your boyfriend asks as he shoves a piece of pancake into your open mouth. your eyes widen while you chew – your comeback right on your tongue.

“what do you mean since when? these two have been canon since episode one season one.”

yoongi snorts and bites into a strawberry. “no way – rachel is way too good for a guy like ross.”

you snort right back in his adorable face and pinch his stuffed cheek. “yoongs, every girl is too good for the guy she ends up with”, you respond and steal fruit from his plate.

the both of you are cuddling on the couch while the f.r.i.e.n.d.s theme song is playing in the background. yoongi has you lying on top of him and uses your belly as a makeshift table to hold his breakfast plate. you don’t mind – as long as he shares his bowl of fruit with you.

some people would mock you for binging a 90’s sitcom in pajamas while munching on pancakes in the middle of the night. but you don’t care anymore – your sleep schedule is fucked. no need to sugarcoat it.

yoongi plays with your hair and you hum as he presses softly against your skull.

“are you too good for me, then?”, he whines and brushes his fingers now across your collarbone. again, you huff and push back against his body.

“who is the one who got us quarantined?”

monica’s rant at a confused and slightly apprehensive chandler is overshadowed by your quarrel.

“it happens, _____”, he says with a serious undertone. “you should know best.”

he is right. the pandemic is widely spread; of course, it’s not going to just… turn around at the bighit building. you still were surprised when sejin called your boyfriend two days ago, frantically talking to your confused idol.

a background dancer was tested positive hours ago – and now all of bangtan had to quarantine for fourteen days. while most of the members were safe at their luxurious dorm yoongi was stuck at your two-bedroom apartment. not that he is complaining… much.

“so, is monica too good for chandler then?”, your boyfriend asks to change the subject. you shake your head at him and feel his bleached hair grazing your neck.

“duh”, you start, “he fat-shamed her so badly in their college days.”

“but… chandler is your favorite character, _______.” you’re munching on the final piece of pancake as you answer him – your mouth still full of carbs.

“yeah, so what? just because he’s my favorite doesn’t mean i think he’s an honest and lawfully good person.” you point with your greased finger at the tv. “you see me defending moriarty? or loki?” yoongi takes the empty plate off of you and places it carefully on the couch table. it now rests on top of two unread architecture magazines and a few unread binders from yoongi’s upcoming collaboration. the soon-to-be graded tests mock you right next to an empty bottle of wine.

“am i your favorite?”, he asks in a sing-song voice so unlike yoongi’s cool persona, you can’t help but search for his mischief eyes. he looks so relaxed – it’s a joy to witness.

“in a world where park jimin exists?”

yoongi’s finger find your ribs and start to tickle you in an instant. your body twitches helplessly in his arms as you feel the air rushing out of your lungs. there is breathless laughter echoing around the living room, and you are too preoccupied to locate the source.

“he-elp”, you whine and feel his arms tighten around your waist. still, his fingers dance across your stomach and you try to escape his touch. “yoonggs-s pleassse.”

“say i’m your favorite and it’s all over”, he taunts you mockingly.

“oka-ay, ok.” you give up in milliseconds. your bladder is too full to handle his tickling any longer. you don’t want to pee on your boyfriend – your relationship isn’t that strong yet.

yoongi ceases his attack at your surrender. “say it, ______.”

sucking in much needed air, you turn around to straddle him. his slim body gives you enough room on the couch to shift into a comfortable position.

“you”, a kiss is placed against his right cheek, “are”, another one is mirrored on his left cheek, “my”, the third is planted on his small nose, “favorite.” before your can kiss your final destination – his forehead – yoongi’s mouth captures your wandering lips. you feel him smile into the kiss as warm flutters travel across your body.

without a second thought you move against him and open your mouth. yoongi moans as your tongue caresses his own softly. he presses himself closer to you, hindering you to rut against his solid erection. instead yoongi topples you over by forcing most of his weight against your heated body. “ahh”, you breathe in surprise at the changed position. now it’s him on top of you. your boyfriend looks down with darkened lust – surely mirrored by your own expression.

“yoongs”, you whine and squirm against his weight.

“yes, baby?”, he purrs while his swollen lips descend upon your neck. the heat rises in your cheeks and you know you only have moments before you are too far gone to think straight.

“yoongs, i gotta pee.”

“huh?”, he breathes against your jaw, his mind clouded by your smell.

“let me pee”, you cry and push against his chest. your boyfriend soon shakes with silent laughter as he eases off of you.

“really, ____?”, yoongi asks while watching you rush to the bathroom. you fidget from tile to tile as the cold marble bites your feet. adorable.

“get the condoms and move it to the bedroom, min! i don’t want to clean the sofa – again”, you yell before closing the bathroom door. adorable and bossy, he thinks and turns off the tv.

it takes you not more than two minutes to flush the toilet and rush into the bedroom. moonlight shines through the big windows, illuminating your boyfriend in the middle of your bed. his upper body leans against the headboard while his right hand is stroking his cock at a leisured pace. yoongi smirks as he notices your eyes on his erection.

“you look… really beautiful”, you say and feel your cheeks darken at the uttered compliment. it always surprises your boyfriend how shy you can get in moments like this. you’ve seen him countless of times – his cock is very familiar with the tightness between your legs. still, right now you look at him as if he’s untouchable.

“you’re the beauty between the two of us, _____”, he answers mid-stroke smirking at your barely dressed state. his t-shirt suits you.

“come here, baby”, he commands softly when you don’t make a move to close the distance. “i’m too tired to fuck you against the wall”, he adds jokingly.

you can’t help but laugh at your boyfriend and join him on the bed while shaking your head at his crude words. up close he looks not as intimidating as before. the lighting bathes him in an unreal gleam. you can see the veins decorating his thick shaft. delicious.

yoongi’s cock isn’t the biggest you’ve ever had – but it’s the thickest by far. your pussy clenches at just the memory of him inside you as you can’t suppress the needy moan escaping you.

his hand moves from his erection to your neck, pulling you closer to him. yoongi already abandoned his hoodie – the cream-colored skin as inviting as his smirk. you fumble with the t-shirt separating you from his touch.

yoongi notices your impatience and helps you out of your clothes in seconds. he comes face-to-face with your bralette and groans in annoyance.

“why are you still wearing a bra during quarantine?”, he whines and pushes the flimsy material away from your nipples. you coo in thanks as his lips close around one of your breasts, sucking at the flesh vigorously.

“we… ah”, you babble, “the zoom meeting with … with joon today – i di-didn’t want aaa-nother nipple-gate.” you have to take a deep breath when your boyfriend switches sides. his hands move on the now neglected nipple by twisting the erected flesh. “ah, fuck, yoongs”, you moan as you feel yourself getting wetter.

“god, baby, your breasts are really, really pretty”, yoongi praises against your skin.

“you know what else is really pretty?”, he asks, not sure you are still capable to answer him. he smirks at your flush body on top of him. you can only shake your head as your fingers find their way into his hair.

since you met him his head has always been a nightmare. the hair frayed from layers upon layers of bleach, toner and coloring. still, his strands between your fingertips are thick and you grip them tightly before pushing him against the headboard and away from your tortured nipples.

yoongi groans at your actions, the dull arch soon forgotten as you answer him.

“really pretty? your cock in my mouth.” you rain kisses down his jawline while mumbling the second part of your reply. “really, really pretty? your dick in my pussy.”

“damn, baby”, yoongi growls before grabbing your waist to position you above his erection. you feel your walls flutter as he presses his tip at your entrance. your boyfriend sees the need in your hazed eyes, but he has to check how wet you are first. with only one arm holding you up, the other hand wanders to your core. as soon as his fingers touch your engrossed clit, you bite the flesh beneath his jawline in heat.

“yoongs”, you plead while flickering your tongue against his throat. your boyfriend hushes you, endeared by your responds.

“i’ve got you, baby”, he promises darkly before pushing you down on his cock. there is the briefest moment of discomfort, but soon the pulsing between your tights sends flames through your body. you can’t help it as you press closer against his pelvis, sinking deeper onto his erection.

“fuck”, he groans. your wetness hugs him so tight – too tight. “you gotta relax, baby”, he soothes you. his hands move from your hips to softly caressing your back. “don’t make my dick fall off.”

you snort nuzzled against his neck as you will yourself to relax. “just like that”, yoongi praises as he feels your walls soften around him. his words encourage you to start rocking against him. there is no rush behind your movement, just yoongi’s cock sliding in and out of you slowly.

his hands dig into your shoulder blades as you feel him hitting the spongy spot deep in your hole. “right there, yoongi”, you cry and your boyfriend snaps is hips instantly into you. “more, please”, you beg, lost at his tip massaging your g-spot.

your scenes cloud in heat as you feel his pelvis bone rubbing against your clit. helplessly, you bite his neck. “fuck, baby”, yoongi grunts in surprised pain and presses you closer to him. your wet nipples touch his chest and you can witness his swallowed breathing.

his skin tastes salty and you brush your tongue against his jugular vein to collect more of his sweat.

yoongi speeds up the pace as he feels your walls squeezing him tightly. fueled by desire he pushes you down hard on his cock. “harder”, you beg. there is fire spreading faster and faster in your core. you feel yourself vibrating against him every time his pelvis brushes against your sensitive clit.

“your wish is my command”, your boyfriend vows between clenched teeth as his climax approaches. he quickens your movement and you help him, riding his cock in desperate need of release.

“i’m close.” yoongi can’t help but smile at your whiny tone and rushes his hand between the two of you. when his fingertips brush against his cock meeting your slit, he nearly looses it. hazed he finds your enlarged clit and rolls it between his fingers. you tense instantly as your orgasm rips through you.

there is no warning, only shockwaves of fire traveling across your body. “damn it, baby”, yoongi hisses. your walls clench around him with vigor. his own release is not far behind – you milking his cock being the final straw.

with a deep groan he empties himself in you. white stripes paint your hole from within. the bedroom is silent while the both of you try to regain some sense.

“you know you are good enough for me, don’t you?”, you whisper against the brand-new hickey on his neck. yoongi needs a moment before he gets the connection to your conversation from before.

it’s really maddening how the two of you are this self-conscious in your relationship while at the same time so quick to reassure one another.

“as long as i don’t call you the wrong name at our wedding, right?”, he chuckles lightheartedly.

“slow down, yoongs. nobody said anything about marriage”, you breathe tiered from your activities.

yeah, nobody said anything, but the ring in his drawer is screaming louder than ever.

“go pee, baby”, your boyfriend orders softly. he’ll ask for your hand in marriage tomorrow when his own isn’t full of pancake grease.

____

yeah, i’m a very new smut writer, so i try to practice! hope you found this as fluffy as i did! i’d love to read some feedback! love and well wishes from, dana

[eloquentgifs]

I know it's too soon to complain, and that, in the end, it's a silly sitcom and they were never gonna carry on with complicated plotlines and blablabla.

But, even when I'm enjoying the new episodes so far, I cant help feeling a little pissed about the non existent pay off for the massive multiple cliffhanger in the last season's finale.

Like, I knew that eventually everyone was going to be back in the house together and stuff would be same as always, but I thought there would be at least a couple of episodes with Nadja and Guillermo in London, Lazslo being a single dad, Nandor travelling around the world... I could swear they said in some interviews that they'd not just be back to normal right away, did I dream that?

Anyway, it's not just that they started with the reunion. Why are Nadja and Nandor so cool with each other again? When did they make amends? I wanted to see that! And how come he and Guillermo dont talk about the travel fiasco? Like, it's mentioned once in the premiere and that's it. I just can't believe they're so cool about that. Nandor thought he was abandoned (again), and Guillermo could and should be bitter with him for not try and find him when he didnt show up at the station.

Again, I was not expecting a super coherent plot line nor deep psychological developments, but c'mon, you just cant finish a season like THAT and then pretend nothing has consecuences. I hope I'm wrong and they do bring these things up in future episodes, but right now I just needed to rant about it because I was looking for this so fucking hard and now I'm lowkey dissappointed and I dont want to spoil anyone's enthusiasm so I just poured it out here and now I'll dissapear.

[rottingmanifesto]

you're right about mafia 2 villains being kind of shit which is probably why i am the way i am about them, because the premises are good but then they did absolutely nothing with any of them! i know i talk a lot about luca, but they introduce him as a would-be mentor who clearly plans to fuck vito & joe over (which could've been a long running scam), and who clearly sees through vito's tough-guy act to the obvious naivety underneath, and then he also gets smacked by clemente which set up a really interesting potential dynamic between them...and then that was it! carlo falcone is an arrogant lunatic who schemed with a rival family to kill his own boss, and who's both deeply paranoid but also somehow thinks he's invincible to the point he decides "fuck the commission, i'm killing all my competition" and yet...we see very little of him or his motivations for acting that way (and though he seems to dislike vito from the get-go, there's no clear reason why). bruno's just an asshole loanshark, and he got vito's father in debt, which makes him more a plot device/symbol than anything...but why does he know henry so well? vinci...is just a stubborn old man obsessed with tradition. derek and steve are probably the best villains tbh because at least they make sense–they're trying to make a buck and keep order at the docks, no matter who they've gotta fuck over. everybody else had plot threads laid down and never picked up; it feels like a tv show that was meant to have more than one seasons but got cancelled unexpectedly. hell, even eddie was given a hilarious introduction and then they did next to nothing with him.

EXACTLYYY

I love that others can draw a lot of meaning/characterization/symbolism out of Maf 2 (because I haven’t yet- I’m lazy, sorry) but the lack of compelling antagonists really just made it… meh to me. Like, I don’t even mean the villains, but just conflict. Vito really is the closest antagonist we have, with his self-destructive behaviors, or even Joe with his ideas and the consequences of said ideas. It reads like a sitcom mixed with a period-based crime thriller. I love it, yes, it’s fun, but it subtracts from the realism. And like you said, it feels unfinished. There was potential they never expanded on. In some ways, it made Joe and Vito feel even more real and great, but it kinda creates an Alice-in-Wonderland effect. They’re the only real ones there (and Henry, in some cases).

I love the premises of the Maf 2 villains, but none of them are compelling enough for me to really try to read into them. Also, as an Appalachian, I hated Derek (and whoever his sidekick was) and Bruno from the get-go, so no amount of given depth would really aid in how I view them. Plus, I feel like giving those three in particular any amount of depth would end up feeling more superficial— an excuse rather than an explanation. Again, at least Sal has an explanation, even if he is irredeemable and frankly evil.

Anyway, I would’ve liked to see Eddie be a villain/more than he was, idk. I think that would be fun. And maybe exploration on the other villains (and I swear to god, NOT in a horny way. God. I say analysis as a joke, not literal).

[voiceless-terror]

hmmmm if u want angsty prompt that goes with a song: jonathan sims + the song "using" by sorority noise. + some of that good jmart. feel free to take it anyway you like! angst that evolves into fluff, full-on angst, lotsa fluff with a smidgen of angst... its up to you!!

Here you are! A bit late, but better late than never. This is a great song, thank you for introducing me! This mostly takes place in the safehouse, with a bit of season four thrown in. Jon/Martin, fluff and angst, learning to love each other. Hope you like!

Eventually, Jon starts sleeping again.

It isn't like he has much of a choice. Collapsing from exhaustion every couple of days isn’t tenable, and of course he’s much more coherent when well-rested. If he’s going to ‘save the world’ or be of any use, he needs to sleep.

It doesn’t stop the guilt he feels every time he wakes from his little hellscapes, his gifted nightmares. It hurts, the way he feels better after watching the torment of others. But he gives into the need like it’s an indulgence instead of a necessity. Not ‘eating’ makes it worse, makes him worse. Perhaps he won’t prey on people when he’s awake if he does it in his dreams. 

He looks better. He no longer wakes to a blanket on his shoulders or a steaming cup of tea at his side. His indulgence has its own consequences, personal as they may be. But if he’s going to help Martin, he’s got to be at his best.

And maybe he enjoys feeling well, despite the terrible cost.

On his last day in the Archives, he kills someone. He doesn’t mean to. Or perhaps he does. It’s not his fault Lukas wouldn’t answer his questions.

On his last day in the Archives, he pulls Martin from the Lonely. Jon takes his hand like it's worthy of reverence. Martin doesn’t smile, but his eyes are blue again, not the hazy grey Jon had gotten used to.

They run away together.

It’s not bliss.

It’s not surprising. Martin and Jon never really knew each other. Seeing and Knowing are not necessarily understanding. There was no slowly building friendship, no will they/won’t they scenario like something out of a sitcom. Just a series of tragedies binding them together in the approximation of love. They’ll get there, but they have to take it one day at a time.

Despite his ever-present need for company (especially after his time in the Lonely), Martin needs space. Jon never noticed this about him, too busy wrapped up in his statements and being bothered by his assistant’s fussing. So watching as Martin goes on solitary walks and leaves the room to read in silence is quite jarring. He needs space as much as Jon needs contact. But Martin wouldn’t know that about him, how could he? He only saw Jon reach out once he was too far gone. Jon wants to take his hand, wants to rest against his chest as Martin reads god-awful poetry. Is it selfish to want? 

He just wants to be worthy of Martin’s sacrifice, that’s all. 

They learn each other’s awkward habits. Jon hums and taps and makes more noise than Martin probably thought possible. Jon leaves drawers open that he will inevitably bump into, and is fine with letting his dishes ‘sit’ in the sink. Martin walks too quietly, has a habit of sneaking up that Jon finds jarring. He leaves windows open and lets in the chill. He’s more prone to sighing than talking.

Jon finds out that Martin is good at cards and really good at lying. Martin finds out that Jon can actually cook a decent meal, when he’s not wrapped up in work.

Sleeping is where they find their truce. Jon can curl up in his arms, Martin can bury his face in Jon’s hair. Jon still dreams his dreams and Martin is still unnaturally cold, but the touches are grounding. They’re each lost in their own separate ways. But they’re lost with each other.

Still, it’s a delicate balance. Martin and Jon walk on eggshells, each trying desperately to please the other. Jon tries to be what Martin needs him to be, but he feels like he’s doing it wrong.

He doesn’t feel like himself.

_______

Jon smokes outside.

Martin doesn’t like the smell, and Jon won’t fault him for that. But the bite of the cigarette reminds him that he’s human, in some small way. That he has petty needs and vices. A moment’s pleasure, fleeting and simple. A sin with only himself as the victim.

It feels like a choice, but Jon doesn’t think it is.

“Nasty habit.”

Jon startles at the voice- Martin, of course. Quiet and unassuming as he takes his place beside him. His nose is wrinkled.

“I’m sorry-” he begins, stubbing out the cigarette but Martin cuts him off.

“No, it's fine,” he shrugs, digging his feet into the dirt. “You should be able to do as you please. After all you’ve done for me-”

“Martin-”

“No,” Martin says firmly, looking intensely at the ground. “I never really thanked you for that, you know? For getting me out of the Lonely. You saved me.”

Jon leans his head on Martin’s shoulder, hoping the contact is welcome. Martin doesn’t tense. “You spent months in Peter Lukas’s hold. Months trying to save us. I- I never want you to feel like you have to do that again. I know I haven’t always been the best company-” he lets out a chuckle, one that Martin weakly returns. “-but I’d like for us to do this properly, you know? Without all the-the ‘spooky interference,’ as it were.”

“You said spooky!” Martin’s grin widens in delight. Jon returns it.

“Just for you.”

Martin’s face is a lovely shade of red as he turns from him shyly. “What- what do you mean, ‘properly’?”

Jon hesitates, unsure of how much he wants to divulge. How much Martin wants to hear. But it’s been building up for so long- all the tiny things Martin does that he likes, that he loves. All the things he wants to share with him. But also everything he’s been holding back, everything that makes Jon himself. Everything that makes life worth living.

So he speaks.

“I-I want us to stop sacrificing for each other,” he stutters out. It’s his turn to look at the ground. “That- that can’t be all love is, right? I want to buy you flowers. I want to talk to you about your poetry. I want to complain about the songs on the radio that you always listen to.” He hazards a look at Martin’s face- he’s staring at him with unreadable eyes. Jon can’t look away. “I want- I want to buy you dinner and tell you jokes you won’t laugh at. I want to keep waking up to your face for as long as I can.” He takes a deep breath, willing his voice not to shake. “But I don’t want to live just for you. I want to have things of my own. I want to feel like a person again. Choose things. Enjoy them. And I want you to have that too.”

There’s silence. Martin’s eyes have that bright, incredulous look to them, as if Jon’s said something particularly unbelievable. Perhaps he said too much.

“You- you love me?”

Jon pauses, his brow furrowing. “I mean, yes. Obviously.”

Martin barks out a laugh that manages to be both snarky and joyous. “You never said, you dolt!”

“N-No, I swear I did-”

“You didn’t!”

They stare at each other, Jon attempting to catalogue every one of their exchanges thus far (the Eye is occasionally useful for such things).

He hadn’t, it turns out.

“Fuck.”

Jon can’t help but match the laughter that Martin’s currently choking out. It takes them several minutes to get it under control, but by the end of it Martin’s got an arm around his shoulders and a hand in his. “I’d like that too, you know,” Martin says softly, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into Jon’s shoulder. “I really would.” Something in Jon’s chest warms at the words.

Martin’s taste in music never improves. Jon never gets the hang of doing the dishes. They bicker. A lot. Jon buys Martin dinner and tells him jokes he doesn’t laugh at. Martin goes on his walks. Sometimes he brings Jon along. 

And one time, he leaves Jon behind. Promises to tell him if he sees any good cows. And Jon just smiles, gentle and in love. 

The tape recorder clicks on.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27673300