#the sea is a girl you just can’t get a bad photograph of

[carrotcakecrumble]

[fritextramole]

the devil divine

part 2 of a Blair Waldorf playlist - best heard in order

tracklist and quotes under the cut

Get What 'Cha Got And Go ~ Loretta Lynn

You think you're the greatest thing in this whole town Oh number one but everyone no one can put you down Every night you go downtown where the go-go's go

Pink Shoe Laces ~ Dodie Stevens

He takes me deep-sea fishing in a submarine We got to drive-in movies in a limousine He's got a whirly-birdy and a twelve-foot yacht Ah, but that's-a not all he's got Ae's got tan shoes with pink shoelaces A polka dot vest and man, oh, man

Fever ~ Peggy Lee

When you put your arms around me I get a fever that's so hard to bear You give me fever When you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight Fever! In the mornin', a-fever all through the night

Big Bad Handsome Man ~ Linda Carone

Got me where he wants me to be With his arms so wide, he pulls me in by his side He's the kind of guy that does it for me

Manhattan ~ BLOSSOM DEARIE

The great big city's a wondrous toy Made for a girl and boy We'll turn Manhattan Into an isle of joy

Idéalisation ~ Cosette

Je vais te faire araignéïser Pour que tu me prennes dans tes filets Je veux t'idéaliser ~ I will make you a spider So that you catch me in your web I want to idealize you

Treat Me Rough ~ Ella Fitzgerald

The cushy sheltered way of life was really no fun From now on, some manhandling must be done

I Belong To You ~ Caro Emerald

The afterglow that's down below Is when I see your smile And in your eyes, true love assigns Forever is a word that cries That I belong to you

Crazy He Calls Me ~ Billie Holiday

The difficult I'll do right now The impossible will take a little while I say I'll care forever And I mean forever

Tea For Two ~ BLOSSOM DEARIE

Just me for you And you for me alone Nobody near us To see us or hear us

You Belong To Me ~ Jo Stafford

Send me photographs and souvenirs Just remember When a dream appears You belong to me

Please Mr. Postman ~ The Marvelettes

I've been standin' here waitin' Mister Postman So patiently, for just a card, or just a letter Sayin' he's returnin' home to me

Washing Machine Heart ~ Mitski

Baby will you kiss me already and Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart? Baby, bang it up inside Baby, though I've closed my eyes I know who you pretend I am

Jolene ~ Dolly Parton

You could have your choice of men But I could never love again He's the only one for me

Comme moi ~ Édith Piaf

Peut-être bien encore qu'elle entendra plus fort Son cœur battre et qu'alors Comme moi Elle voudra crier en entendant Monter, un pas dans l'escalier Comme moi ~ Maybe she will hear louder Her heart beating, and then Like me She will want to scream when she hears Going up, a step on the stairs Like me

Darn That Dream ~ Doris Day

Just to change the mood I'm in I'd welcome a nice old nightmare Darn that dream and bless it too Without that dream I never would have you But it haunts me and it won't come true

Maybe I Know ~ Leslie Gore

"He really loves me", that's all I can say Before my tears fall, I just walk away

Graveyard ~ Halsey

You look at me With eyes so dark, don't know how you even see You push right through me

Little White Lies ~ Ella Fitzgerald

The devil was in your heart But heaven was in your eyes The night that you told me those little white lies Who wouldn't believe those lips Whoever could doubt those eyes

I Can’t Stay Mad at You ~ Skeeter Davis

You can run around You can tell me lies But there's nothing I can do I'll never say goodbye 'Cause I can't stay mad at you

Everybody’s Somebody’s Fool ~ Connie Francis

I told myself it's best that I forget you Though I'm a fool, at least I know the score Yet darlin', I'd be twice as blue without you It hurts, but I'd come running back for more

Boys Like You ~ dodie

You thought you could charm me And, damn it, you're right So watch me fall for every damn stereotype

Une chanson brisée ~ Cœur De Pirate

Mais qu'importe, tu m'aimes, oui Ça justifie tous tes oublis Mais qu'importe, le temps joue Une chanson sur mes plaies qui s'entrouvrent ~ But whatever, you love me, yes It justifies all your oversights But whatever, time plays A song about my open wounds

I Just Couldn’t Stand It No More ~ Dinah Washington

My heart is aching, My heart is aching He don't know how much it is a breaking I need somebody, yes I need somebody To take my love and help me to forget him...

I Guess I’ll Have To Change My Plans ~ Annie Ross, Gerry Mulligan Quartet

Before I knew where I was at I found myself upon the shelf, and that was that I tried to reach the moon but when I got there All that I could get was the air My feet are back upon the ground I've lost the one man I found,

Back To Black ~ Amy Winehouse

You went back to what you knew So far removed From all that we went through

Blue ~ Rebecca Black

Two years down the drain A whole life we had made It was ours for the taking

Une complainte dans le vent ~ Cœur De Pirate

Aux chaleurs oubliées À tes doigts longeant mes parures Tu m'aurais à l'usure Mais qu'importe les douleurs du présent Je ne suis plus la même, tu n'es plus un enfant ~ To forgotten warmth To your fingers along my finery You would wear me out But no matter the pains of the present I am no longer the same, you are no longer a child

You ~ The Pretty Reckless

I can't steal you, no Like you stole me

my tears ricochet ~ Taylor Swift

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'Til my dying day

Le monopole de la douleur ~ Cœur De Pirate

Tu n'entends plus rien Que je m'exprime tout haut, tu n'y vois qu'une maudite fin Et les lignes des épopées de nos nuits racontent leurs histoires Mais j'en ai marre qu'on broie du noir Tu penses que tu es le seul à souffrir Qu'importe que je saigne aussi ~ You don't hear anything anymore That I express myself aloud, you see only a cursed end And the lines of the epics of our nights tell their stories But I'm sick of us brooding You think you're the only one to suffer It doesn't matter that I bleed too

L’etang ~ BLOSSOM DEARIE

Là, le ciel, pour quelques instants Garde encore de l'or dans ses yeux Une étoile brille au fond de l'étang Pour les amoureux ~ There, the sky, for a few moments Still got gold in her eyes A star shines at the bottom of the pond For lovers

La Nuit N’en Finit Plus ~ Petula Clark

Je voudrais partir au hasard Partir au loin quitter mes souvenirs ~ I would like to leave randomly Go far away leave my memories

Hey There ~ Rosemary Clooney

Better forget him, him with his nose in the air He has you dancin on a string Break it and he won't care

Hard Feelings/Loveless ~ Lorde

I light all the candles Cut flowers for all my rooms I care for myself the way I used to care about you

Heartstrings ~ Leighton Meester

Had to save my own self from all your evil games

Happier Than Ever ~ Billie Eilish

You call me again, drunk in your Benz Driving home under the influence You scared me to death, but I'm wasting my breath

Cry Me A River ~ Julie London

Remember, I remember all that you said Told me love was too plebeian Told me you were through with me and Now you say you love me Well, just to prove you do Come on and cry me a river, cry me a river I cried a river over you

Gonna Get Along Without You Now ~ Skeeter Davis

Got along without you before I met you Gonna get along without you now Gonna find somebody who is twice as cute 'Cause I didn't want you anyhow

Kill My Boyfriend ~ Natalia Kills

And boy I'm so committed, I'm so deep, there's no more digging There's only one thing I can do to solve this mess, come on I gotta kill my boyfriend yeah...

Hermit the Frog ~ MARINA

Well, I, I wanna tell you a secret You can take your double standard love and keep it I can't help the devil likes to make my heart a double bed And I can't help he sometimes like to come And rest his little head

OKAY OKAY ~ Alessia Cara

My best friend said to me, "I know just what we need A song of yours that we could feel ourselves to" I said it'd be a test, 'cause you know I'm always stressed Come to think of it, I guess I've never cared to She said, "You won't know if you never commit" So here's me convincing myself I'm the shit

[thezsisters]

Friends: Are they necessary?

Friends. Your stepping stool or your downfall?

Friends. Your guide or your secret enemy?

Friends. These people are very tricky. Friends are human, just like us. They have emotions, thoughts, likes and dislikes, preferences, and just like humans, their emotions change, their love for you can change, their taste in friends can change.

Who are our friends? Those who are there for you 24/7? Those who don’t really talk with you, two, three months, but when you meet in person, the vibe is still strong? Those you gossip with every single day? Those who will jump in front of a train for you? Take a bullet for you? Literally catch a grenade for you? Who do we call friends?

I had a hard time making friends. In my first blog, I spoke about how difficult it was to make and keep friends because I always felt left out. Yes, from junior high to senior high, it was a rough path for your girl, but I am doing better now- I think. It is a slow process but we will get there.

Why do we need friends?

What’s so important about making friends? I remember someone close to me told me that friends are not really important and that standing alone is much better. I was trying to understand and make meaning of this, but I couldn’t, and I really argued with this person. We definitely need friends. Imagine an island with one tree. Just one. What will happen? That one tree, if it produces fruits, will be overused by birds because that’s the only tree bearing fruit. Eventually, those fruits will finish, and since there’d be no other tree, all the birds will leave.

Basically, the entire ecosystem for that island will collapse. Trees provide oxygen for us to breathe, and, in return, we give out carbondioxide to these plants and trees, and the cycle continues. Having one tree means having a limited supply of oxygen for living organisms to breathe and produce energy to move. What am I trying to say? We can’t walk on our own. No one is an island. We all need someone in our lives who we can talk to, have fun moments, bad moments, great experiences, and learn a lot more from each other.

Your friends are like second family and like family, it can be great, or it can be terrible.Friends are like second family. Can be good and can be toxic.

When to know a friendship is toxic.

1. When they resent your growth.

2. You feel judged by them.

3. You feel like they drain you.

4. You’re holding each other back.

5. They betray your trust.

6. You barely have anything to talk about.

7. They are absent when you need them.

8. They don’t value your time and effort.

Friendship goals.

1. Pray for and motivate each other

2. Check in on each other. Be there for each other in all aspects.

3. Do fun activities together: cooking, going to the movies, sleepovers, fun trips, shopping, and so on.

4. Respect and value them. Let them know they are worthy and you love them. Build their trust.

5. Take a lot of photographic and video graphic memories. Those are the best memories friends can look back to.

Having good friends is like taking in a breath of fresh air kn a cliff by the sea. It’s so peaceful and light. Let’s watch who we become friends with. Some can elevate you, and others will drain you.

Written by Queen Ijeoma.

[kiribaku-queen]

Hiii congratulation for 1000 followers! U deserve it! So i was thinking of bakugou!prohero a reader where he's always busy and always hv this photoshoot with these hot models or hot pro hero that made reader feel left out. And the last straw was when a newly magazine publish of him kissing other girls cheek (or mouth) (u do u;)) and thats when they had a bad fight that caused reader to run away. I would like it to be heavy angst with a happy ending. I love angst but after a heavy angst i like a happy ending to soothe my heart 😂 if u do choose this, gudluck!

Blinded by the Fame

Angst

Pairing: Bakugou x reader

Word Count: 3.5K

A/N: Thank you so so much for this request! I was actually so excited to do this piece because I already had an idea I wanted to use and this scenario was PERFECTO~! So painful yet so good!

Thank you for the congratulations and I hope this request met your needs! Please let me know your thoughts!

Who said dating an upcoming hero was going to be easy? It certainly wasn’t easy, not in the slightest. You definitely had hard days. There were times when it got so difficult that you wanted to quit. But was loving the hero worth it and fulfilling? Absolutely.

Bakugou Katsuki was the love of your life. Relationships were never easy. Couples always have obstacles and challenges they have to overcome. Even when you were in tears, screaming at each other at the top of your lungs, even if you gave each other the cold shoulder the entire week, nothing could replace the warmth that was Bakugou’s arms. You would never much refuse his touch every tine, but that wouldn’t stop Bakugou from having you in his arms every night, whispering sweet nothings in your ears despite all the things he said prior. And you would forgive him. Of course you would. How could you not?

But being with a rising hero came with bearing a lot of burden that you had to keep to yourself. You didn’t like how he was working all the time. You didn’t like how he came home bruised up, sometimes not even going to the hospital if it means not being able to see you for the night. You couldn’t bare seeing him like that. But that was part of his job and that was never going to change. So no matter how much you absolutely hated the sight, you let him do his hero work because that was what he loved to do. You couldn’t interfere with his dreams of becoming the number one hero.

But the thing that itched you the most was when Bakugou was forced to promotional shoots to get his name out there. The memory of when he first started made you laugh. Being the Bakugou that he was, he flat-out refused to do it. He didn’t like getting his picture taken. He’ll dress up once in a while, and when he does it’s real clean, but he wasn’t a fan of constantly dressing up. But when he finally let go and tried it once, he saw how much fan votes and popularity he was getting and eventually, would do more here and there.

And you didn’t mind if the shoots were by himself, but most of the time, they were with other pro-heroes or very attractive models. And that you feel insecure. How could it not? Your boyfriend getting close to other women while you looked nothing like these women? You didn’t have the body, the face, the money, or the fame these women brought to the table. You would never admit it, but you hated when other women were in the picture. And you hated when one of the women would be touching him. It left a sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach. You were so sure that he was going to leave you for one of them. But he proved his love by dropping down on one knee with the most gorgeous ring.

“Come with me to the shoot,” Bakugou proposed but you hesitated.

“I can just meet you at the restaurant,” you decided. The mention of being on set for one of his photoshoots seemed like a bad idea.

“I want to go together. It won’t even take long. One hour tops,” he swore and brought you by the waist, your body flushed against him. He takes your face in his hands and gently puts your foreheads together.

“I know you’ve been wanting to go to this restaurant forever. Let’s go together,” he whispers and you couldn’t help but fall for that voice over and over again.

“Okay,” you whispered back. He smiles at you, places a small kiss to your forehead, then your lips, before taking your hand to lead you to the car.

The set of the shoot was intimidating. People were running around everywhere, cameras were set in all positions, lights were blinding and hot, the space just looked so busy. And you felt like you didn’t belong. But Bakugou was so used to this kind of scene. He leads you to where the photographer and the director were talking.

“Ah, Pro-Hero Dynamite, you made it!” the director greeted your boyfriend. “Your stylist is in the next room. Go ahead and get changed and we’ll get started.” Bakugou nodded and turned to you.

“I’ll be right back,” Bakugou said and kissed you on the forehead. You watched as your boyfriend disappeared in the sea of people and then you were left all alone.

This was fine. You would just wait in the back patiently for him to be done. And then you two could enjoy a nice evening out at that fancy restaurant you’ve always been wanting to try. Just relax. You closed your eyes and took deep, but slow breaths. There was nothing to get worked up over. Afterall, it looked like Bakugou was doing this shoot by himself.

But you spoke too soon. Bakugou had appeared from the dressing room, looking all dashing and handsome. You felt your heart skip again. He was wearing a red shirt that was unbuttoned to the third button, exposing his broad and muscular chest. Over, he wore a black jacket with leather gloves and pants. His hair was styled slightly back, forehead showing. He was mesmerizing to look at. But shortly after his appearance, two women walked out behind him. Two gorgeous, fit, and slim women who wore skin tight, elegant dresses were doing the shoot with him. And for some reason, your heart began to hurt. The pang in your heart was constant that you had to beat at your chest to calm yourself down.

They were beautiful. And you had recognized one of the women: Pro-hero Miruko. You knew their history together. Bakugou had worked under Miruko during his school days and eventually worked along side with her after he graduated. You knew she was a flirt. She flirted with everybody. And that was fine, until she got alittle too touchy with your boyfriend. And that bothered you. But Bakugou was so used to her behavior that he didn’t even notice.

You couldn’t say anything. They are old time friends and co-workers. What? Are you supposed to say that he can’t be friends with her anymore just because you didn’t like it? And then you would look like the possessive girlfriend? You were fine with him being friends with other women, but they did make you nervous. Nervous because all the women he’s surrounded by are so unbelievably good looking, it put you to shame. Why would he want to be with you when he could have all these women to choose from?

But you tried to shake these negative thoughts away and playfully tugged at the ring on your ringer. There was a reason why he chose you. There was a reason why he gave you this ring. You shouldn’t think this way. But you couldn’t help it. You tried not to let it bother you, but in the end, it did. It really did. It bothered you so much that you couldn’t stop fidgeting.

You watched at Bakugou sat on the couch with both women on each side of him. His arms were lounging on the back of the couch while one girl sat next to him and Miruko stood behind him. Looking at his facial expressions, he didn’t seem interested in any of the girls. Which is a good sign?

And so the shoot started. Nothing else could be heard besides music playing in the background and the loud click of the camera. Everyone else was watching the shoot take place. Everything looked okay so far. Their outfits were scandalous but nothing scandalous was happening. The only directions the models were given was to look sexily at the camera. Bakugou delivered that perfectly with his go-to signature look. But now the photographer wanted more.

“Can the two women get a little closer, please?” the photographer asked and put his camera up to his face once more. The girls did what they were told and Bakugou didn’t even flinch. But you were growing nervous. There was more skin happening, more touching and it was making you uncomfortable. You gasped when you saw Miruko grab Bakugou by his chin to lift to towards her direction. Then she leans in, her lips ghosting over his ever so slightly, like they were about to kiss. Tears were spilling out and your cheeks heated up in anger until you finally exploded.

“Stop!” you yelled, stopping all production. Heads from all around turned to you. Mirko looked at you shocked and Bakugou was wide eyed with curiosity and concern. You gripped the handle of the purse that was slung around your shoulder, feeling anxious now that everyone was looking at you.

“Sorry, give me one moment,” Bakugou apologized to the staff. He got up, rushing towards you. He takes your hand and brings you in the dressing room. The door slammed shut and Bakugou turns to you in a huff.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he hissed. With tears streaming down your face, you were shocked by his reaction. But you were going to stand your ground.

“I don’t like how she was touching you,” you say.

“It’s my job,” he sighs in exasperation.

“Well she should learn her boundaries, whether it’s a job or not. And if you respected me at all, you would tell her no,” you stated firmly. But all Bakugou did was roll his eyes.

“You’re overreacting.” You scoff and it was your turn to roll your eyes.

“Oh, I’m overreacting? Is it wrong that I don’t like when other women are touching you?” you started to raise your voice and talk back.

“Do I have to say it again? It’s my job. If I’m going to make it big, I have to do it. What? You think I like her? You think I was going to let her kiss me? It’s just for the pictures. Geez, how sensitive can you get?” he stabbed you right in a sensitive topic. You stayed silent because you weren’t expecting him to say that. The moment you think he’s going to stop there, he keeps going.

“I might need to save lots of women who are in danger. What? You don’t want me touching them? You’re going to get jealous because I’ll have some stranger in my arms? You’re afraid that she’s going to cling to me for dear life because I’m saving her? You don’t like that?!” he was practically screaming now.

“No! I don’t like that!” you screamed right back, giving back the same amount of energy. The tension in the air was so thick, anyone could feel it. Hell, they were all listening from outside and they felt uncomfortable with the ambiance of the situation. Both parties’ chests were heaving up and down from the labored breathing. And you just glared at each other. Bakugou turns away from you, breaking the ice.

“Fine. If you’re going to be this jealous, then maybe… maybe we shouldn’t be together,” he said. That was it. That was when your heart broke into a million pieces. You felt like if you stood there any longer, you would have suffocated.

“Fine,” you whisper. He doesn’t even spare you a glance. With teary eyes and a heavy heart, you tighten your jaw as you take off your engagement ring, wiggling it off your finger and then setting it down on the counter beside you. The sound of the metal hitting the hard desk was loud enough for Bakugou to hear, but he still chose not to turn to you. You thought that maybe, just maybe, if he turned around and said he didn’t mean it, then you would have been okay. You would have forgave him for those mean things he said. And then you would have apologized to him. But he looked set on his decision.

Without another word, you turned around and sped out of that building, tears never stopping. Everyone saw you go. Miruko laid her sad eyes on you and her broke for you. Shortly after, Bakugou walks back to the couch, plopping down with a huff.

“Let’s continue,” he says begrudgingly. But nobody moves, still shell-shocked about yousr argument. But this causes Bakugou to explode.

“Are you not going to start? Let’s get on with it!!” he hollers and everyone rushes like mice to get back to production. Bakugou lets out a long sigh, face in a permanent frown.

Miruko sits on the back of the couch and looks down at her old friend. She could tell that he was hurting just as much as you, if not more.

“Idiot~” Miruko sang.

“Ha?” Bakugou glared up at his past mentor. Mirko looked at her nails, not paying mind to the hot head who was on the verge of exploding.

“You need to go apologize,” she told him, more like ordered him to.

“Like it’s my fault.”

“You didn’t take her feelings into consideration,” Miruko pointed out, silencing Bakugou on the spot. “If she was feeling a little jealous, then her feelings are totally valid. You need to do something about it and make her feel like she doesn’t need to worry about anything.” Bakugou was only getting more annoyed.

“Whatever. It’s just business. If she can’t understand that, then we don’t need to be together,” he tried to convince himself. But that only hurt himself more.

“Whatever my ass. Then if you can’t be a good boyfriend and comfort her instead of making her feel insecure, then she doesn’t need you. She can find a better man who treats her good.”

“I do treat her good,” Right?

“Oh yes, I can tell,” Miruko said sarcastically. But in all seriousness, she knew he was hurting and she was trying to give advice from a woman’s perspective, but he is so stubborn and hard-headed that he doesn’t want to admit that he was in the wrong.

“Look, you let her go home like that right now, you’re not going to get her back. Go after her,” she advices on a serious note. Bakugou takes a moment to think but it’s all too much. He ruffles his hair and shoots up from the couch.

“Fuck this shit. I’m not doing this anymore,” he announces and storms out of the building. But not before shoving the metal jewelry in his pant pocket.

You didn’t know where you were going. You just walked and walked until you wind up somewhere. And god, you were so hungry. But you couldn’t go to that fancy restaurant that Bakugou had already made reservations for. God forbid he walks in while you were eating. And with another woman? How embarrassing. You couldn’t use his name or his fame anymore. You didn’t want to go back home. What if he shows up at your place? It probably wasn’t likely. He said he was done with you. You left the ring back with him. You guys were over. He wouldn’t show up uninvited. He has no reason to. You didn’t have money on you. You didn’t have any mode of transportation. The only think you had was your phone but the battery can only last so long. So you continued on walking until you hit a park and sat down on one of the benches. You were left alone to bathe in your thoughts until the set sun.

“Where the fuck did she go?” Bakugou mumbled to himself. He checked all the alleyways, in between streets, high and low, but he couldn’t spot you. No matter how he was frustrated he was feeling, he started to get nervous. He wondered if you were okay and safe right now. You hadn’t eaten all day. Wait. There’s no way…

“Hi. Reservation for 2. Under Bakugou,” Bakugou told the hostess. He arrived at the restaurant, in hopes that you came in. But when the hostess said that you hadn’t shown up, his shoulders deflated. Back to square one. So if you weren’t here, then where were you? Had you eaten yet?

Trying his luck, he went to your apartment, but after many attempts, you didn’t open the door. You could either by ignoring him or you weren’t home yet. Knowing you, you probably weren’t home. Then he was going to wait until you came home. Taking a seat next to your door, Bakugou waited. And he was going to wait until he could see your face.

You watched as happy couples and families walked by you, having the time of their lives. You smiled sadly seeing all their smiles and laughter. How you wish you could be like that. But now you don’t even know if or when that was going to be possible. That was all you wanted. Was to be happy. You didn’t want to be in this rabbit hole of sadness. You didn’t want anybody to pity you just because you were crying. But you did long for somebody to listen to you. For somebody to tell you that it was going to be okay and that you are loved. Love… You wanted someone to love you. He just wasn’t the one for you. Then who is? Will you ever find it? Was this your only chance and you ruined it all just because you couldn’t help but feel jealous?

Stupid.

Stupid (y/n).

You always ruin everything in your life. The one time you got something good, it’s gone in an instant. You knew it was too good to be true. But there’s no going back now. It already happened and now you have to move on.

By the time you noticed, the sun had already set and darkness fell upon you. You wanted to stay longer. You debated whether or not you were going to sleep on the park bench. But after recalling new articles of kidnappings happening around the country recently, you decided to go home.

It took you a while to go home. You walked as slow as you could, taking your sweet time returning back to your apartment. All you want to do is snuggle up in bed and go to sleep. You were so exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally. You just needed some rest and then you can worry more in the morning. You were coming up to your apartment and saw a person sitting on the floor what looked like in front of your apartment door. No. But there’s no way.

Blonde hair.

That was all it took for you to turn back, go down those stairs and back to the park. You couldn’t face him right now. You were already broken up so why was he there? He said all he needed to say so why was he there?

You thought you were being sneaky but Bakugou caught you. He saw you going back down those stairs and he immediately got up and chased after you.

“(y/n)!” he called out to you but you ignored him. The sound of his voice made your heart clench.

“(y/n)!” he called again, but louder. Again, you continued to ignore him.

“(y/n)!” he called for the last time, this time grabbing your arm. But you shook him as fast as he grabbed you.

“No, leave me alone,” you managed to say. Just keep on walking. Maybe if you walk long and far enough, he’ll give up. But he wasn’t giving up.

“(y/n), stop!” he grabbed you again, yet this time tighter so you couldn’t escape. Then he traps you in between him and the wall, forcing you to face him.

“Stop! Let me go! Leave me alone!” you cry. Your tear stained face and puffy eyes broke Bakugou’s heart. He did this to you. Fuck. He was the worst. You thrashed around, forcing him to let go, hitting him to push him away. Anything so he could get away from you.

Bakugou let you hit him. He deserved it. Every hit that you take at him, he deserved. Slowly but surely, he pulled you in for a hug. You were so drained that you let him. And as soon as you were in his embrace and your cheek hit his chest, you cried. You let it all out and didn’t stop. Bakugou didn’t say anything. He just held you, patting your head until you calmed down.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. He kissed the top of your head and rested his head there. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He continued to say. Your cries were muffled by being buried in his chest.

You held onto him tight, continuing to cry your heart out. You thought you were never going to see him again. You thought you were never going to hold him again. Or smell him. You world was crashing down on you but was slowly being put together again.

“Do you want to go inside?” he asks you softly. Your voice was too hoarse and sore from all the crying, so you nodded your head, not letting go of him. Bakugou got the hint and picked you up princess style and led you into the house. There was going to be a lot of talking happening soon in that tiny apartment. It was going to be a long night.

[starlessskies94]

Consequence (Joel Miller x OC)

Summary: What if Joel survived his injuries from the Abby and Fireflies attack but ends up with really bad amnesia. He can’t remember his wife, Ellie, or the Outbreak; only before. How will his family bring back the man they once knew?

Pairing: Joel Miller x OC

Notes: Been a while since my last chapter but this one has taken a while a write to be honest. It's quite a big one and I really hope it doesn't disappoint. I really wanted to capture Joel's struggles and why he felt he'd had no other choice but to leave so here's hoping it reads well <3 I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Fourteen

He stops as he feels warmth. The touch of a soft hand against his cheek. He pulls away, the warmth still lingering on his skin but now it stings like venom. “I mean it, Adaline. Stay the hell away from me. You and that girl of yours.” With that he leaves. Never looking back, looking up towards the sky, he feels a deep rumble before the heavy rain begins to fall.

The noise in his head stops dead the second the door slammed shut behind him. He can still hear Ada’s desperate cries for him to come back, echoing in his ears as they ring like white noise in a sea of silence that now surrounds him. Joel felt sick, only now noticing that his hands were shaking as he slid down the length of the door and sits at its feet in the empty hallway. He feels exhausted. His whole being worn down to nothing but weakness and sluggish aches that sit heavily under his eyes. He moved towards the mirror in the hall and stares at the old man staring back at him.

At times it’s rather jarring; in his head he’s still a young man of thirty two, just trying to earn an honest living for him and Sarah. But then the crushing reality of time bursts that bubble when he sees the man looking back. The man who's been hardened by time and the pain he’d endured over the years. And though he still can’t recall them, every one has left its mark on his face, his body…in his eyes. Those eyes that stare back aren’t his. They’re dark and threatening. The look of a tortured man, whose seen things he can’t unsee and Joel still isn’t sure he even wants to remember.

After all; who in their right mind would want to remember pain and devastation? Losing his little girl in his arms as she fades away. Recalling all the people he hurt just to survive and see another sunrise? Had it been worth it? Tommy hadn’t seemed to think so, when he told his brother of their lives in Boston; of the things they’d done with a group called the Hunters just to get by. It sounded like a goddamn nightmare. Then there had been something else in his eyes and a heaviness in his words that suggested there was more to the story he hadn’t gotten around to telling yet. Perhaps it’d had something to do with how he’d ended up in Wyoming and why the brothers had apparently gone years without speaking or seeing one another.

Yet more unanswered questions floating around his head, once again bringing on that ever present headache that had quickly become a constant in his life now it seemed.

Joel moved away from the mirror and made his way back upstairs towards the attic; bringing down the boxes that Ada had hidden away and emptied them out across his bed. Standing over the photographs and momentos he could feel his hands shaking again; only this time it wasn’t from anger or spite or even the cold venom he’d used to curse towards his wife. No; this was grief, it was sorrow and it was pain.

Taking in all those memories he still couldn’t remember. The only thing that came to his mind was all the time he’d lost. All those months he could’ve been trying to regain his memory. If only Ada had stayed and helped; if only Tommy and Ellie and everyone else hadn’t lied to him for weeks, without a second thought for his feelings or even bothering to question if they were doing the right thing.

It seemed now he was nothing but a burden to them. Some frail, senile old man that was just a charity case. To be checked on like he was some irresponsible child that desperately needed supervision, in case he burnt himself on the stove or forgot where the bathroom was. He was so sick of it.

He moved to pack away the pictures when something caught his eye. A glint of metal reflecting in the light by his bedside. He lifted the box to find a necklace of some kind. Although it looked more like an ID tag from the military or medical field. He ran his thumb over the engraved letters that marked the pendant.

‘Adaline Smith 000194’

It didn’t take a genius to work out that it must’ve been Ada’s. Clearly branded with her maiden name before she’d married Joel. He flipped it over and his heart fell through to his stomach. That symbol. Unmistakable in its shape was that of an engraved firefly. Yet another secret his wife had kept from him, it appeared. Ada was one of them. Why had she kept that to herself? And why did it seem that everything always kept coming back to the goddamn fireflies?!

It was the reason he’d left Boston in the first place. It was apparently why he’d agreed to help take care of Ellie. None of it made sense. The Fireflies always seemed to be constant in all of this no matter where he turned, and it seemed now that maybe they were only ones who could give him the answers he so desperately needed. He had to wonder if the things Ada had told him were a lie. After all she’d lied from the beginning about who she was and now she was caught in that lie; it’d just become a desperate attempt to shift the blame. He needed to know the truth and it was looking like the only way he was going to get that, was to find the answers himself. And the only way to do that would be to leave.

Looking back to the pictures in front of him was what helped make up his mind. The smile of that little girl, the one that looked so happy and safe. He’d done that. He had saved her and brought her here to Jackson to live and grow up with a home and a family. And though he couldn’t remember doing it, he knew without a doubt he’d done it for the right reasons. Even if Ada had lied about everything else he had to believe she wouldn’t lie about Ellie. It was worth the suffering he’d endured as long as it meant she was okay. At least he’d done something right.

He knew what he needed to do. Joel left Ada’s pendant in the mess of photographs and turned on his heel as he went back into the closet. He grabbed his backpack; an armful of clothes, along with a few supplies from the kitchen and the bathroom. He forced what he could into the little space of the bag before zipping it closed and as he made his way back towards his bedroom, he froze for a moment. His head turned towards his workshop door left slightly ajar. Joel took a second to consider his next move as he made his way slowly into the room. It was quiet and dark, the rain pattering heavily against the glass of the windows. Without missing a beat, the older man strided across the room, punched in the code for the safe by the closet and opened the door. It felt strange how effortless it had been; especially considering the fact that Joel was pretty certain he had no idea what the combination was.

It must've been a habit. His muscle memory taking over for him. And if he was being honest he was pretty damn grateful for it.

With everything he needed packed away, there was only one thing left to do. Joel sat in the arm chair by his window with a piece of paper and pen; taking a breath before eventually finding the courage to write down his goodbyes.

‘Dear Tommy,

I want you to know that I’m sorry for the crap I said before. I didn’t mean any of it and you’ve got to know that I don’t blame you either. If anyone’s to blame it’s me.. I still don’t really understand why I did what I did but I know if it was to save Ellie’s life then it’s not something I can regret. She’s a good kid and she shouldn’t feel guilty for anything. She didn’t do a damn thing wrong and I hope you can tell her that. I know you hoped that things would work themselves out and that maybe Ada and I could’ve fixed things but I think it’s too late for that now. I don’t hate her for it but I don’t know if I can ever trust her again.’

There seemed to be some familiarity to those words he wrote, almost as if he’d spoken them or heard them before. He paused for a second to try to calm his trembling hand. His eyes looking out towards the tapping at his window. The wind was getting up as was the rain. He needed to move soon if he was going to beat the storm on the way. He turned his attention back towards his letter. Once again putting pen to paper, continuing where he’d left off.

‘It’s better this way. You gotta good thing here little brother; good people raising their families. I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me. So I’m leaving Jackson; I need to know what happened. I have to end this... I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this in person but I know you and you know me. I’m a stubborn old bastard and I can’t give you the chance to try and talk me out of this. My mind’s all made up.

Take care of that wife of yours, be safe.

Goodbye little brother, Joel.’

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was surprisingly easy to get out of Jackson. It hadn’t taken much convincing the guards that he was meeting his brother. Hell they’d even waved him off and wished him a safe trip. Joel had been polite and calm as he’d ridden through with Duke and his filled backpack hooked to his saddle. It felt strange to walk through a world he couldn't remember. Of course Tommy had filled him in on everything that had happened post outbreak. How the world had collapsed and how it was nothing like before but to actually see it in person was another matter entirely. The roads might as well have not existed at all; broken and overgrown over the years. Along with the odd buildings by the outskirts of the town. Left to decay and rot away. Most only left to ruin now, that they barely even resembled any kind of civilisation. He made his way past an old gas station; lost to time and mother nature to reclaim. He glanced at the old abandoned cars and for a second it crossed his mind to check them for leftover gas he could use on the road if needed. It would be easy to siphon it out and into a canister.

‘You’d be amazed at how many cars still got gas in ‘em.’

He quickly shook the thought away; wondering just where it had come from and instead urged Duke on forward through the pouring rain as he looked for shelter.

He eventually found something that looked promising and lucky for him it was just as the storm was beginning to turn for the worse. The wind howling and thrashing through the branches of the trees; taking some down with its vicious strength. Night was fastly drawing in; the sky only ever illuminated by the odd crash of lightning. They eventually found their way in from the rain, although it was anything but welcoming. Joel took note of the sign hanging over the big iron gate as they walked inside. The Baldwin Manor was large and foreboding but with nowhere else to go; the man hesitantly made his way through. He forced the garage shutter open and led Duke inside; tying him up and emptying some of the bottled water he’d brought into an old bucket he found; the horse nickered in gratitude to his owner before taking a drink.

Joel figured now that was taken care of, he should take the time to explore the manor. Make sure it was clear and he could rest safely for the night. As he made his way further inside the place it was eerily quiet and there seemed to be a thickness to the air he couldn’t shake. It looked abandoned and yet lived in at the same time. Old cot beds were left, along with empty cans of food and water bottles. There were broken glasses and plates smashed into the carpet; perhaps from a rush of packing before a swift exit. The further he made his way in, the more unsettled he felt; his gut churning almost in protest of being there.

He finally followed the corridor through to an open room with a large window. The space was dark but it brought with it a cold sense of familiarity; one that didn’t sit well with Joel at all. He felt dizzy and there was a sickly metallic smell in the air that rudely assaulted the senses. His knees were weak and his breath short; his eyes darting about the room until it hit him like a train. The wind echoed and banged against the window; as the lightning struck again, thunder roared along with it crashing through ear drums resembling that of a loud gunshot. He collapsed as his knee gave way, dropping to the floor, his eyes wide when he saw the dark blood stain marking the floor beneath him.

Shouting. He could hear shouting in the wind. It was deafening.

‘Joel, get up! Joel fucking get up!’

His head was spinning; hands wet with sweat as he grasped at the floor only to fall pale at the sight of his own blood staining his palms. The pain in his leg screamed bloody agony as he pulled back against the grip on his throat that tried to suffocate him. Small gasps of air burst from his lips with chattering teeth the more his body tremors with fear. A heart stopping, chilling fear he couldn't rid himself of. It clambers around him, holding him to the ground as he fails to force himself free. The voice calls again; it sobs and pleads; growing distant then close then distant again.

‘Please don’t do this! Joel please get up!’

Joel focuses on the voice as he pushes back; taking a mouthful of air and swallowing down as he bursts through the dizzy spell. He leans back on his heels, hands on his knees and he pushes back. He pushes back against the fear and the cold. As the storm rages out outside he takes another deep breath and does as the voice asks. He stands and he blinks away the tears welling in his eyes and as he looks around... he stops.

He sees nothing. No footsteps. No shadows. No other people were standing in the room with him. He’s alone. He glances down at his hands to find them clean. The bloodstained floor, still dry and undisturbed. There’s no gunshot wound in this leg; only the scar of what was, as it aches a dull pain to remind him it’s still here. But he won’t forget. Not now.

Not now he knows exactly where he is. The place where he was tortured. The place he almost died. The memories taunt him as they replay like the flashes of lightning through the window.

‘Why don’t you say your speech you have planned and just end it already.’

He remembers the bitterness. The hatred. It boils till it burns. He can still hear the remnants of the sobbing voice pleading with him to keep going but he can’t place the face it belongs to. But it’s hurt and it’s scared and he wishes he could help the ghost of the past that wants him to be okay.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joel couldn’t stay there and he’d not wasted a single second in leaving. He rode back out into the storm in search of another shelter. The wind was unrelenting in its forces; taking trees down and throwing debris through the air as the skies battled on overhead, the thunder and lightning tearing the night apart.

Duke reared in fear stomping his hooves into the ground as he threw his head pulling at the reins in Joel’s grip. The thunder grumbled once again, almost shaking the earth beneath it. He rubbed and patted the geldings neck in an attempt to calm the animal. “Easy boy, we’re alright. Take it easy.” He soothed.

There was a sudden scream in the distance but it was like nothing Joel had heard before. It sounded guttural, an inhuman screech that pierced the ears. It echoed through the trees and spooked both Duke and his rider; Joel urged him on with a quick kick to his side and cantered on through the winding paths and trails. Eventually bringing him out into a clearing, he breathed a sigh of relief as he happened upon what looked to be a ski lift base of sorts. He continued on encouraging Duke to follow when he dismounted. Pulling the large animal behind him as he ventured in front.

The place instantly felt much more comforting when he found his way inside. Duke visibly calming as well as he settled by the inside of the entrance. Joel figured that Duke must’ve known this place well to be so comfortable, even sniffing at the boxes on the nearby table that Joel found to be left over supplies of food. Duke himself was more interested specifically in the bag of carrots which he was more than happy to provide him with. It seemed after that they were settled for the night. Joel had taken a quick check around the place to find all the other exits and entrances had been blocked and there was a handy plank of wood by the door he’d come in, he could use to secure it.

With his horse happy and fed; he left him to his well deserved rest as he decided to further explore the place. It was cosy to say the least. Books and blankets on the small couches with a few pots and pans to cook with by the fire. Boxes of matches and dried out logs were laid out next to one of the fire pits that seem the most frequently used. Joel made quick work of getting a fire going to dry himself out from the rain. His hair still soaking wet and stuck to his forehead, as beads of water ran down the strands dripping onto his damp jacket. He stripped off what he could and hung them up by the flickering flames just enough to get the heat to dry them through for the morning. After that was done he made his way over to what looked like a cafe area. There were a few bits and pieces lying around including a large book on the far counter.

Joel’s curiosity got the better of him as he moved it to the table nearby and sat flicking through the pages. It became clear that this must’ve been an outpost to keep watch on nearby threats that could endanger the town. There were signatures and initials jotted down with the odd comment on sightings or more quiet days.

The further back he went the more he noticed his own handwriting. The days he’d been here with Ellie or Ada; even days the three of them had all been here together.

4/28 Joel/Tommy All clear. For anyone interested, I’m looking for a new patrol partner that doesn’t spend all day writing damn love songs. My brother is driving me crazy -T.

4/30 Ellie/Ada Couple of runners left behind from the horde. Cleared them. (And just who is my husband writing love songs for exactly??) -A.

5/02 Joel/Ada All clear. Also thank you very much for ruining Ada’s anniversary present dumbass. -J.

5/15 Joel/Ellie Had a few stragglers but we took care of them. -J.

6/14 Ellie & the lovebirds All clear (Now can we please leave?!! Joel and my mom are making heart eyes at each other and it’s making me nauseous) -E.

He had to laugh at the last entry, but it quickly dawned on him that once again he had no recollection of any of these ever happening. It wasn’t lost on him either how close he and Ada must’ve been if these notes were anything to go by. But then she’d left and he still couldn’t understand why. He needed her and she’d abandoned him just like she had. He wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt but he just couldn’t let it go; it was over between them and now he had to focus on the journey in front of him.

He left the book alone and made his way back over to the fire. With a blanket wrapped around him, he took a few mouthfuls of the stew he’d left boiling for way too long. It tasted terrible but he had to make do with what he had and he knew it wouldn’t be smart to travel on an empty stomach. It was times like this he wished he could cook. He hadn’t exactly been all that gifted when it came to culinary skills; the last few months he'd only eaten what Tommy had brought over. Casseroles, soups and even a full turkey dinner with all the trimmings one night; all courtesy of Maria’s generosity. All while the older Miller had insisted that it wasn’t necessary, Tommy knew his brother couldn’t cook for shit and would rather have the piece of mind that he was eating; Joel’s stubborn pride be damned.

It reminded him of all those nights he’d tried to cook for him and Sarah only to give up in the end and just order take out instead. It seemed those days were long behind him now.

His fingers brushed against the broken glass of his watch as he leaned back to rest. His mind drifting back over all the possibilities in which it could’ve been broken. Maybe a close call while travelling to Boston with Tommy. Or maybe a smuggling deal that had gone sour in the quarantine zone. Maybe he’d broken it himself in anger not long after losing Sarah. He let himself live in those wonders until eventually he fell asleep. His mind was grateful for the rest while his body drifted in between. The unfamiliar sounds keeping him alert just enough should he need to leave quickly.

It was going to be a long night.

[luvnami]

𝐎𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 | 𝐖𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 (here) | 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 | 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 - Second part to ‘Ocean’! Hope you enjoy it :> Reblogs, comments, shares and likes are really appreciated!!

𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 - @getousuguruwife​ @amjustagirl​ @aliteama​

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 - Amnesia, Memory loss, Blood, Mild gore, Death, Blood loss, Corpses, Food, Manga spoilers, Pre-canon and canon compliant to a certain extent, Nightmares, Relationship Issues (lack of communication), Overthinking/Anxious Thoughts, I criticise Nanami’s choice of clothing

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 -  Nanami Kento's life has been... Good, bad, and everything in between. He  (and many others) thinks he's mature, independent, the definition of  what a proper adult should be like. But really, the only way he's made  it this far is because you've been holding his hand the entire time. 

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 5k

Nanami decides to enter university and get a degree. He casts a life of sorcery behind and turns a blind eye to curses that peer at him curiously on the street. When you text him and ask about how life is in the city of Tokyo, he replies that it would be much better if you were here with him. You choose to ignore the meaning between the lines and tell him that he’ll do great in university; you’re sure of it!

Truth be told, his parents are more than glad to fund Nanami’s ventures and encourage him to do so. As a result, he finds himself engulfed by the world of rigorous studying. Lectures and tutorials drain his time from morning to evening, not to forget project meetings and whatever the hell ‘socialising’ means.

But campus life is invigorating. He wakes up to the smell of coffee and his roommate singing a foreign song with a catchy tune and has time to enjoy a lovely breakfast before he heads off for morning classes. Everything is done in his own time. No one rushes him to save the lives of innocent civilians, nor does the weariness of a day’s fight linger in his bones.

Quietly, gently. That is how Nanami’s time in university goes by. Writing essays on analysing market trends or a project on that sociology elective module he chose is nothing too tricky, especially when one compares it to sorcery. 

He learns to relax, unwinding in the golden hours of the evening with a Murakami paperback and a steaming cup of coffee by his side. Nanami meets new people — people who have never heard what a curse is (though he does find his witchy neighbour intriguing), people who have families at the furthest ends of the earth. Their companionship is refreshing.

You, meanwhile, earn a nice sum from working at Jujutsu Tech. You don’t work directly with curses (something which Nanami is thankful for) and enjoy your time surrounded by nature, treating the younger students with a smile and warm cup of tea. 

You and Nanami decide to move into an apartment where the commute is halfway between both schools. It’s a nice change of pace, really. You wake up next to each other in the blinding morning light, still entangled in the cheap (and slightly scratchy) duvet you got on sale. Nanami presses a kiss between your brows. You smile, your hand warm on his skin. 

“Good morning, Ken,” you croak as the sunlight frames your face.

You lean forward and place your head against his chest. Nanami’s hand strokes your shoulder lovingly as the both of you make small talk on the day’s events, then laughing when he makes a cheesy (and slightly indecent) joke about what he enjoys eating for breakfast. Your heart soars in your chest, catching the upwind and slicing through the clouds. It feels like heaven.

But the sea does not always remain calm and peaceful. Its tides rise and fall with the waxing and waning of the moon, and waves can come crashing down on boats that dare sail through its treacherous waters. 

Nanami buries the constant nightmares of Haibara under his pillow, waking up in the middle of the night with your arms around his waist. He pretends he does not see the curses that linger in the corner of his lecture theatre, nor the ones that stare back in the bathrooms. Nanami slips a pair of spectacles onto the bridge of his nose. His fellow classmates call him intelligent, quiet, but kind. 

He wants to believe that, too.

☆*: .｡.

Nanami joins a hedge fund company after graduation. 

“Are you sure that’s what you want to do, Ken?” you ask over the table.

The restaurant you had booked for dinner boasts of its month-long waitlists and seasonal menus. You poke at the raw fish that sits on your plate, Nanami holding a glass of amber liquid. He watches its colour swirl under the dim light.

“The pay is good. We’ll be comfortable.”

“I don’t care about money, Ken. I’d rather you do something less stressful and be happier.”

“Let me try it out for a year or so. That can’t hurt, right?”

He smiles, you smile. 

Your hand slips into his comfortably over the table, and your eyes meet in silent understanding. You squeeze his hand.

The company changes Nanami. Some things are obvious — the way he now parts and combs his hair back with wax, the pressed suits that line your shared wardrobe, the work phone that buzzes with notifications every minute of the day. Others are more… subtle. He comes home later and later each night, occasionally staying over in the office. His alcohol consumption increases. You spend the weekends alone. 

It’s gotten to the point where you’re lucky if you eat dinner with him once a week. You’re busy with your own work, too, but you assume that Nanami would be able to come home on at least the weekends. Your mind begins to drift.

Is there a colleague who wears a skirt too short, a manager who touches his shoulder a second too long? It’s been at least four years since you and Nanami had gotten together, and you still don’t know his stance on marriage or children yet. Does he love you, or does he love his job more? 

You fall into a pit of doubt and despair. Perhaps you should have been a lesser burden on Nanami. He spent so many hours taking care of you back then, wearing himself thin between missions, that the idea of him getting tired of being a caregiver to someone who didn’t remember him at all was… possible; reality, even?

There’s nothing original about you, either. Your handwriting is the same as a girl you’ll never remember from middle school, the way you text influenced by the students you work with. Maybe you laugh too loud. Or you’re too fat, too skinny, too quiet, too noisy, too blunt, too shy, too clumsy. So what made him love you? Or was he just in love with a previous version of you that you weren’t now?

It feels like you’re staring into a mirror when you try to remember who you used to be with childhood journals and photographs. The same face, the same body, memories that don’t make sense and a head that has become a blank canvas. A parent’s child, a teacher’s student. Unable to reach past the glass.

You don’t know who you are anymore with how you’ve changed to please Nanami — a person of personalities that switches in the blink of an eye. So why does he still keep you in his rented heart that’s full of other tenants, and under the contact name ‘Dear ♡’? You place the button in a drawer amongst a mess of spare keys, bits of tissue paper and promotional pamphlets. 

It’s tiring. Nanami’s head is in the clouds as you share a parfait, and you ask him, “Kento, do you really love me?”.

“What?” he asks incredulously. “Of course I do.”

The eyebags that are on his face have been there since two weeks ago. Nanami can’t remember when the last time was when he got a proper night of sleep, and currently, he’s thinking about the new client that-

“Kento,” you interrupt. “You’re exhausted.”

You point your spoon at him for extra emphasis, the tip of it having a dollop of whipped cream. 

“Pointing your utensils around is bad manners.”

“Never knew you cared about table manners.”

“Well, now I do.”

You lick the spoon clean and eye Nanami. He returns a tired stare before his gaze falls to the side and he lets out a sigh. He almost wishes that you would stop bothering him about this and let him go back home. There are so many emails he needs to send, and he can’t sit still without checking the stock market every hour or so. 

“Do you want to break up?”

The words come easier than expected.

“Huh?! What makes you say that?”

“You seem like you want to.”

“You can’t just assume things like-”

The girls sitting by the next table fall quiet. Nanami thinks that they’re eavesdropping on your conversation; you think so too. You glance quickly at them and they pretend nothing had ever happened, hiding their looks of surprise as they shove spoonfuls of dessert into their mouths.

“Let’s go somewhere else.”

You sound irritated. Nanami pays with his card, grabbing his things as you step outside of the cafe first. 

“Slow down,” he mumbles and pockets his wallet. 

You whip around.

“You can’t just assume things like that, Kento.”

“Fine, I’m sorry.”

Staring at him, your eyes seem glazed over. Tired, maybe. Tearing up, maybe. Maybe, maybe. Many maybes. Nanami doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what’s been going on with you, actually. You seem distant, out of reach when you’re lying in the same bed as him. Is it the money; is he making enough to make you happy?

Nanami reaches out and tries to hold your hand (when was the last time he had done that?) when his phone buzzes. He retracts his hand and reaches for his back pocket, but you grab his wrist. He looks at you.

“What are you doing? Let go.”

Irritation laces his voice. 

“Don’t answer that.”

“Are you crazy? It’s from work. I have to.”

“Work this, work that! You spent the last year basically married to your office and the one time we get to go out together, you want to work?”

Your voice is sharp, slicing Nanami’s hazy conscience. He watches as it pools at his feet, a gust of fresh air tickling his skin. He relaxes his wrist and you pull your hand away. Passersby glance at you briefly before continuing their daily commute, not bothering to give you a second glance.

“Sorry,” you mumble.

“It’s okay,” Nanami replies. 

The both of you stand in the street, suddenly feeling as if you’ve drifted away from one other unknowingly. Like a boat in the ocean, Nanami rocks with the waves that splash gently on his hull. Everything is blue and vast around him. He can’t see the land. 

Nanami thinks about that girl at the bakery. The way she always cried out ‘Come back soon!’ every time he left as if he wouldn’t return a second time. And then he thinks about the clients he serves, all outfits and jewellery that easily cost half his salary. They shove money into his hands, expecting even more in return without a word of thanks. 

“Hey,” Nanami says. 

He reaches out across the waters and grasps your hand in his. You look up, eyes brimming with tears. He swipes at the corner of your eye with his thumb. Understanding washes over him and he takes a deep breath. 

“I’m sorry,” Nanami whispers sincerely.

That night, he calls Gojo when you’re safely tucked into bed. Nanami tries to ignore how the older sorcerer cackles at him and hangs up once the call is presumably over on his end. He slips under the covers as you turn over in your sleep, resting against his chest. Nanami kisses your brow. 

He gets his first night of good sleep in a long, long time. 

☆*: .｡.

Nanami falls back into the rhythm of sorcery. He trains for a good month until he gets his stamina and strength back, obtaining a new weapon from the school for his missions. Gojo seems oddly delighted to see him return, laughing when Nanami’s out of breath from a workout.

“Ken,” you say, wrinkling your nose when he steps out of your shared bedroom. “You’re going to work in that?” 

Nanami adjusts the cuffs of his sleeves, staring at you. 

“Is this not appropriate?”

You observe him from head to toe. The leopard print tie, blue shirt and tan suit — you resist the urge to tell him he’s so close to looking like a pimp. Out of all the lovely suits that Nanami has, he chooses to wear this one?

“It’s a bit bright, that’s all,” you laugh. 

“I thought I would go with something eccentric. You don’t get to wear this at the office,” he remarks, striding over to the kitchen to grab your packed lunches. 

You remain quiet and fiddle with a loose thread on your own suit jacket. 

“Something the matter?”

“Oh! Nothing at all. Let’s go.”

It’s more convenient now since the both of you work at the same place. Nanami drives to Jujutsu Tech every morning and picks you up in the evenings as well. He detests how Gojo makes fun of him for it, calling him a ‘lovely husband’. It makes your cheeks warm, and you duck your head before Nanami can ask you anything about it.

Peace reigns true for a few months. The morning routine is a nice change of pace compared to Nanami’s previous job. You’re able to spend more time together, even to the point of going grocery shopping or watching a movie with takeout on Friday nights.

Nanami relaxes only a little. Compared to office work, this is probably just as bad. First of all, he has to see Gojo almost every day and have him talk his ear off. Secondly, he returns to being the balance between life and death for civilians once more. It’s not a task he enjoys. However, he harbours that the thanks he receives and the lives he saves are a good enough exchange. 

Years come and go, as do students of Jujutsu Tech. Nanami sees more dead sorcerers and exorcises more curses. You quietly type away at a laptop, filing their deaths and completing any tasks you’re given from the higher-ups. It seems that life has slowed down once more and you return to a monotonous pace. 

You wonder if your relationship with Nanami will progress any further. It’s been close to nine years and yet… nothing has developed beyond living together or the odd weekend date. That’s not to say that you don’t love Nanami. You do, honestly. He treats you well and listens to your occasional nagging to put his stacks of books away, but you want something more. You crave the thought of getting married, to be lawfully his and maybe start a family. But, contrary to belief, Nanami isn’t opposed to it when you bring the topic up over dinner one night.

“Marriage?” 

His chopsticks pick off a portion of grilled salmon and he brings it to his mouth with some rice. He chews, swallowing.

“Yeah. I mean, we’ve been together for so long, you know? So it kind of seems natural for us to do so.”

Your gut twists nervously. The steam from your miso soup rises silently in the air, wisps of white smeared out at the edges. 

“Sure.”

“Huh?”

“Sure, let’s get married.” Nanami says.

You have to physically close your mouth and your eyes are widened in shock. Your heartbeat accelerates that much faster.

“Are you serious?”

“Well, were you serious when you asked me that question?”

Heat rises to your face. 

“As you said, we’ve been together and living under the same roof for quite some time. Marriage seems like a plausible idea.”

“Then let’s-!”

“But I have one condition.”

Momentarily, your heart wavers. Nanami finishes the last drop of miso soup in his bowl and balances his chopsticks on top of the porcelain. As usual, his plate and bowls are scraped clean. 

“I’ll only get married after I stop being a sorcerer.”

Your face twists in confusion as you try to understand where Nanami is coming from. You don’t get it — didn’t being a sorcerer mean that Nanami faced death everyday and that he should be taking advantage of what time he has left? But, of course, you don’t mean to curse him into an early grave like that. Except… Except that your face visibly falls and Nanami takes notice of it.

“I’d rather not have my life entangled with curses more than it should be. Once we both earn enough money and have a nice savings account, we can retire and go do whatever we want. Besides, I’ll invest. It’ll be more than enough.”

You remain silent and stare at your half-finished dinner. Nanami reaches over the table and takes your hand in his. 

“Can you give me some more time, please?”

You don’t reply. 

☆*: .｡.

“Did you hear about the new first years?”

“Mm. The one who died, right?”

“Gojo wants me to mentor him for a while.”

Nanami’s hands are positioned on the steering perfectly. His palms guide the car carefully through the steep roads that climb up to Jujutsu Tech. You flip through a checklist of things you need to do for the day.

“Will you be heading out of school?”

“Probably. There’s a scene I need to check out.”

“Stay safe, alright?”

“Of course. You too, don’t forget to have your lunch again.”

Nanami pulls into the parking lot of the school. Leaning over the clutch, he presses a kiss to your hairline. You gently peck his jaw.

“See you tonight. I might not be able to pick you up, so get Nitta to drive you.”

“See you, Ken.”

Nanami watches as you open the car door and step out. You turn back, giving him a wave and smile through the window. He returns the gesture. Once you’re out of sight, Nanami pulls out his phone as he sits in the car. He thumbs through his emails and his Adam’s apple bobs as soon as he sees the confirmation sent to him. A loose sigh worms its way out of his chest. He pushes the door open and steps out. 

The rest of the day is spent teaching Itadori Yuuji about the sanctity of being young and simpleminded. Sorcery isn’t child’s play — especially when there are lives involved. He watches as Itadori’s face crumbles at the mention of the transfigured humans. He wants to comfort him, place a hand on his shoulder and tell him that it isn’t his fault.  

They have a quick debrief of the situation with Ijichi before parting ways. Nanami shoulders his burden once more, watching as the car pulls away in the direction of Yoshino’s home. 

As night falls, Nitta drives you home. She’s chatty, serious about her job and does it well. You smile when she gushes about how lovely Nanami must be at home, and, oh! Do tell him to lighten up at work. 

You thank her when she drops you off. As you walk through the lobby of your apartment complex, you make a routine stop by the mailboxes. Junk, bills and… a box? You flip it over to see who it’s addressed to; perhaps Nanami had ordered something online. However, your name is printed neatly across the label.

The first thing you do when you get home is to open the box. It’s small, probably not more than a hand’s breadth in length. Your pen knife slices through the tape cleanly and when you push aside the flaps, you spot two velvet boxes sitting in a mess of paper filler. Your fingers tremble when you pull one of them out and open it. 

A silver ring sits in the furrow of a cushion with Nanami’s name on the inside. Your heart skips a beat and you reach into the cardboard to pull out the second ring box. This one is a little larger, with your name engraved on the interior side of the band. It must be Nanami’s, then.

It’s already well past 6p.m. as you dial his number with your lower lip between your teeth. You pace around the house, bouncing on the balls of your feet. What were these meant to be? Promise rings? Engagement rings? You hadn’t dared to slip the one with Nanami’s name engraved onto your finger just yet.

“Hello?” 

Nanami’s breathing is laboured. Your heart falls and you stop in the middle of your living room, staring ahead at nothing.

“Ken? Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Just… just a little hurt. It’s nothing serious.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve called Ijichi to pick me up, don’t-”

“So it is serious, then!” you cry out in horror. 

“No, no. I said I’m fine. Look, did you receive the rings yet?”

“I did, but that’s not the point now. Are you safe?”

“I-”

You hear Nanami’s phone clatter to the ground and the thump of his body on the floor. 

“Kento?” you whisper.

He doesn’t reply. 

☆*: .｡.

You’re seated on the floor of your shared home, an oversized pajama shirt stolen from Nanami’s closet swallowing you. Sunlight pours in through an open window at two in the afternoon and the quiet hum of vehicles outside can be vaguely heard.

Clip, clip, clip.

One hand holds a nail clipper, while the other cradles Nanami’s fingers gently. The blond watches you absentmindedly while you trim his nails. He had insisted he was perfectly capable of doing them on his own, but the glare you gave him made Nanami sink back into the sofa. 

He was hurt after a fight with Mahito — the wound on his side made him grimace whenever he stood up, and Nanami found himself relying on you more than he wished to. Thankfully, he had passed out from blood loss and pain but nothing too devastating had happened. That didn’t change how concerned you were about him, though. You try to forget how you had hailed a taxi just to rush back to Jujutsu Tech to see Nanami lying in the sickbay with a blood drenched shirt. 

Nanami thinks it’s childish. When was the last time someone had clipped his nails for him? Was it his mother? A warm breeze wrings itself through the window. You run the pad of your finger over the cut edge, feeling for any sharp portions. 

Nanami stares at the top of your head. Your fingers feel uncharacteristically soft against his own calloused ones — wielding a weapon in battle wore his palms down at the end of the day. He doesn’t particularly want to admit he likes it.

Nanami is a man of truth. He hates lying, and definitely doesn’t tolerate beating around the bush. But if he spoke as he thought, told you everything he felt about you as often as it came like the wind, how would you react? He clutches his heart in the aching hand of a budding teenager, the fears of facing a cruel world fresh in his mind. 

Being a sorcerer means facing death on a daily basis, especially with the increase in curses with modern times. It doesn’t help that with both of you on the field, it means double the chances. Sorcerers never die without regrets.

Nanami wishes he could love you more, let you explore each crevice of his heart without fear of leaving you; being left behind one day. He doesn’t want to curse you if he dies. He doesn’t want to become a burden to you any more than he should be. 

Clip, clip, clip.

“Is it too short?” 

You glance up briefly at Nanami and brush the hair out of your eyes. He stares down at his fingers and feels them over with his thumb. He shakes his head.

“No, it’s fine.”

You nod and move on to his next hand. You’re systematical about it — trimming off most of the grown parts in three portions, then a couple tinier clips to finish the job off. A nail file sits on the ground beside you, the tiles of the floor cool against your bare legs.

“Hey, Ken?”

“Hmm?”

“I heard that there’s a new bakery opposite that popular department store. I was thinking of going to take a look later. Do you want me to get anything for you?”

“Nothing too sweet would be nice.”

“Okay.”

The living room falls back into a comfortable silence.

Clip, clip, clip.

☆*: .｡.

It takes a few more weeks before Nanami is cleared by Ieri to return to regular sorcery work. He tries to rest in the downtime he has, he really does — but the itch to get up and finish Mahito off has him restless. 

At this, Gojo sends Nanami and you off to Hamamatsu on another curse investigation for a change of scenery. Gojo doesn’t want to admit it, but he had mumbled to you something about taking care of Nanami’s mental health. Maybe the beach would help? You told him he sounded like a doctor from the 20th century. You’re not one to refuse a free trip outside of Tokyo, though, so you and Nanami pack your luggage and troop off to Hamamatsu on the Shinkansen. 

“Thank you.”

Nanami’s fingers curl around the ice cream cone handed to him, the sun scorching his back. It’s too hot for this; for anything, really. He makes a mental note to give Gojo a good stare of disapproval once he returns to school. 

Why did the mission have to be on the warmest day of the year? With how the heatwave makes perspiration trickle down your back, though, the dangers of facing a possible special grade curse is the least of your worries right now.

“It’s so hot!” 

You eagerly lap at the soft serve, savouring the cold, sweet treat. Nanami wanted to take a photo of the ice cream, but- oh well, you’ve begun eating, and the horrendous heat would have probably melted it before he found a good angle, anyways. 

Protected by the shade of a shopping district, Nanami and you had agreed to find refuge for a few hours — the curse could wait till the sun began to set. Besides, it would be more likely to turn up after dark. 

“How does yours taste, Ken?” you ask and peer over at his cone.

He had gotten a cookies and cream flavoured one, despite how you egged him on to try out the local eel flavour. Nanami was not going to ruin his taste buds just like that, thank you very much.

“It’s alright,” he says, licking traces of ice cream off of his lips. “Could do with a little more cookie.”

“Wanna try mine?” 

You stick your cone into Nanami’s face. He’s greeted with your half-eaten soft serve, where your tongue has made a path of its own against the original swirl. He eyes you carefully and you offer the cone to him once more.

“That’s unhygienic.”

“Oh, come on, Ken! We’ve kissed before, sharing saliva on ice cream is nothing compared to that.”

Heat rushes to his face, though Nanami assumes a composed facade. He blames it on the weather without hesitation. Not wanting you to tease him anymore, he leans forward and nips a tiny portion of your ice cream off of the tip. 

“Yummy, isn’t it?”

“Mmm.”

“Want to try mine too?” 

The words leave his lips on reflex. Nanami wonders when he’s begun letting you try his food — when he used to be so adamant that no one could even touch its container or look in its direction (thanks to Gojo’s greedy fingers). You nod excitedly and lick off of a portion. 

“It’s good!” 

What was the first time he had said it to you? Over oden in the winter; over those disgustingly sweet slurpees you insisted on from 7 11? All those small moments that had built up culminated in Nanami’s affection and understanding towards you. The way in which you offer him a bite of your food without expecting anything in return; is that what love is like? 

“You’ve got some ice cream on your face,” Nanami says.

You instinctively use your tongue and try to clean it off. “Did I get it?”

Nanami shakes his head. “It’s on this side,” he replies, pointing a spot on his own face.

You try again, to no avail. Nanami sighs.

“What would you do without me?” he asks monotonously, using the pad of his thumb to wipe it off.

You stand there, frozen for a second when he leans in. His promise ring is cold against your cheek.

“Kento?” you whisper. 

Under the light of the shining sun, he presses his lips to yours, shielding you from warm rays and the glances of passersby with his back. You let out a muffled sound of surprise as you taste cookies and cream, your eyes fluttering shut instinctively. 

Nanami isn’t a fan of public affection. God forbid Gojo see him kissing you, really. But as he leans back and watches your half-lidded eyes stare up at him, he asks himself if you’ve ever received his own sort of love in return. 

A relationship’s all about give and take; but has he given as much as he should have? Has Nanami loved you in a way that matters? Life is a fleeting concept to all sorcerers. Should he die and leave you behind, Nanami wonders if he would pass without any regrets. Did he do enough when he tugged the covers over your shoulders when you fell asleep on the sofa, was there more he could have done even after buying you that watch you had eyeballed for the past few months?

There’s that sort of incompetence that curls up in his chest on sleepless nights, even with you tucked into his side. It makes his head spin and his heart fall into a bottomless pit. With all the eyes of juniors and students that look up to him, Nanami can’t help but wonder if he’s truly as good as everyone thinks he is. Being a sorcerer holds little problem. But what about a lover, a husband?

He couldn’t save Haibara, so how dare he think about…

“Kento,” you swallow. “Ken?”

Nanami snaps out of his daze. “Huh?”

“I dropped my ice cream,” you whisper. 

He swivels his head and spots your cone face down on the sidewalk. His own cone drips down his hand, the melting liquid staining the sleeve of his suit. For once, Nanami’s mind runs blank. 

“Kento? Are you okay?” you ask gently.

“Hey,” he murmurs. 

“Mm?”

Nanami’s careful to avoid the pool of melting ice cream as he steps closer to you, lips brushing the shell of your ear. Your breath hitches as his cologne invade your senses.

“I love you. Let’s get married.”

[extremelyblackandwhite]

tis the damn season

pairing: mob!bucky barnes x reader

warnings: none

a/n: this is the end and i’ll need therapy because dear god i hate it when any of my projects end. thank you so much for supporting it and reading. hope you enjoy xx

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS 

There's an ache in you put there by the ache in me but if it's all the same to you it's the same to me ...

There was a sea of people, suitcases rolling everywhere, people hugging their loved ones and there she was, straight out of the airplane holding her worn out, beat up suitcase with her name tag on it. It was a cold day, one of those that reminded her of being by the window with her mother doodling on the fogged glass as the snow laid on the green grass of her childhood home yet there was no snow, just cold. She knew to walk through the doors that led to the arrivals but she stood back, almost as if the cold froze her to her spot. Returning to her hometown meant looking at the road not taken before, the road she couldn’t have taken. Nevertheless, in the midst of chaos of people coming back home for the holidays, she ended up being almost dragged into the arrivals hall.

Immediately she spotted Wanda and Pietro dressed in thick winter coats and hats who were holding a sign with her name. She put on her best photographic smile, walking over to the twins who rushed over to hug her tightly, something she missed dearly when she was away. 

     - Finally! - the brown haired girl hugged her best friend tightly. - You can never leave me again for this long. 

     - It’s only for a few weeks, Wan. 

     - Let me savour it. - she loosened up the hug, handing Y/N’s bags to Pietro who just shrugged off and started walking to the car. - I have so much to tell you. Remember Elizabeth, the girl I copied off for Maths? Well, she got married but she had a baby like 5 months later which doesn’t adds up. 

     - Shotgun wedding. - Pietro added. - It was so tacky, absolutely awful. I fell asleep for at least five hours.

     - Very good gift bags though. I took an extra one for you. 

The three walked onto the cold town she thought she’d never have the change to return to. The moment she woke up from what she thought was certain death, her father and the chief of police were already telling her they had set up a witness protection program for her, all the way in Massachusetts. It was nice, she liked the weather, the warm fall colours during October but she didn’t felt at home. She had a new name, new story, in this one she didn’t even have her father not that in reality she ever did. She sat in the passenger seat of Wanda’s car, listening to all the news she seemed to have kept locked inside her mind for when she returned. Her mind as going haywire about what she wanted to know about, she wanted to know about Bucky.

She knew he couldn’t be happy if he had discovered it which she guessed by now he had. Several times her father had told her he’d employed several men to try and find her and had even told her to stay away until Christmas. Of course the only reason he wanted her around was so she could drive him from the bar after he drank his weight in beer but she couldn’t help but do it, she promised her mum she would take care of her dad no matter what happened. Yet, she still wanted to know about Bucky. She wanted to know if he hated her, if he had put a hit on her head. It kept her awake at night, every night, bugging her like a bad memory. 

      - Are you sure you wanna stay at your dad’s? You can stay with me and Vision.

     - Of course she doesn’t want to stay with you. What kind of name is Vision anyway? - Pietro rolled his eyes.

    - HIS PARENTS WERE HIPPIES. We’ve had this discussion. - Wanda playfully threw a empty water bottle at his brother. - Don’t you want to spend Christmas with someone who will actually be in the house during Christmas?

    - I promised my mother, Wan.

    - C’mon. If it’s because me and Vision will be there, there’s no problem. Remember Michael? He still wants to go out with you.

    - I don’t want to go out with him.

    - Yeah, Wanda. Y/N liked James Barnes. - Pietro muffled in a laugh, receiving a death glare from his sister. - What? It’s true. 

    - Y/N does not like someone who wants her dead. Don’t you remember when one of his friends was on campus and he had a gun? 

    - What? It’s just like Mr and Mrs Smith and for one, it’s something I’m interested in. Good for her. 

    - What about you, Pietro? Where’s your girlfriend? - Y/N smirked, crossing her arms as Wanda parked in front of Y/N’s childhood home.

    - Which one?

    - You’re a lost cause. - she opened the passenger’s door, going around to retrieve her suitcase.

    - Call me if you’re alone during Christmas or Christmas Eve. Vision and I will come and set up a dinner with you.

    - It won’t be necessary.

    - Just call me, okay?

    - Okay, Wan. I’ll see you tomorrow. 

The red head smiled before driving away. Y/N stood on the cobblestones of her sidewalk waving goodbye before it was time to go meet her father. Her relationship with him was at best strained. When they didn’t find the shipment they wanted, he subconsciously blamed her along with constantly talking about how Edward could’ve died but he was luckily alive with a limp. She wished he had more than a limp but saying anything against his ward was absurd and completely forbidden. She was almost sure he’d spend more time at the hospital with him than her.  Nevertheless, she was here and as she stepped into her porch, there were no Christmas lights, no garlands. 

Flashbacks invaded her mind of sitting on the wooden stairs as her mother wrapped every surface she could in garland, wrapping the lights around the columns while her dad worked overtime. The two would then sit on the stairs with cups of hot cocoa, Y/N always preferring white chocolate hot cocoa with pink marshmallows and watched the lights go up for the first time. Every year she expected there to be lights after her mum was gone but they never showed. One year she tried to put them up but she soon came to realise the lights that held whatever sweet memories an object could hold were lost and gone. Everything was gone. She didn’t know why she expect it to be here.

Her keys jiggled as she opened the door to her childhood home. It was always messy, dusty, her mother’s yellow coat still hanging on the coat hanger the day she returned from the hospital. The house was a snapshot of that day, never changing, her father didn’t allow her. She knew why, she always knew why, she just refused to say it, she refused to say whom her father believed was the cause of her mother’s death. She refused to say it because she knew who it was and it wasn’t who her father thought it was.

     - Dad? - she left her suitcase against the entry wall, walking further into her house and into the kitchen, liquor bottles on the floor near the chair were her father was sitting, still in his uniform, shirt tightened over his beer belly. - Hey dad, how are you?

    - Y/N, darling, can you get some some of the liquor from the cabinet?

    - Sure, dad. - she turned around, reaching into the cabinet, right at the end of it where she kept a bottle with water which tricked him all the time. - How’s the precinct?

    - I think you know. 

    - You shouldn’t make catching him your target. Your target should be to protect innocent civilians.

    - What would you know about it? You failed us. 

    - I’m sorry. - she looked down at her shoes. - You know ... I smell snow.

    - You can’t smell snow, Y/N. There’s no such thing. 

    - C’mon... - she held his hands in hers. - We can make some hot cocoa, like mum used to do.

    - Your mother would’ve been ashamed of you. - she shook his hands away from her, pointing his finger at her. - You caused another officer to get shot, you have no integrity. I shouldn’t have put you in the case.

    - I didn’t. - she took a step back. - I told you I didn’t and you don’t believe me. Barnes didn’t try to shot me and Edward stepped in, you saw the report, the bullets don’t match up. He tried to shot at Barnes.

    - He’s the most experienced shot I know, if he wanted to have gotten Barnes, he would’ve.

    - He would’ve if I hadn’t stepped in front of it. 

She turned around, tears watering her eyes and making her vision blurry as she walked further an further away. She kept walking, away from her house, away from her street until she was the furthest from it she could. The wind blasted her hair in different direction, freezing through her thin, useless jackets. She could smell it was going to snow, she could always smell it, the smell of freshly fallen and there she was, having forgotten her jacket. It was late into the night, no establishment was open and all she could wear were her boots against the slight frozen layer upon the cobblestones. She should feel hurt but she found herself in a numbness of state, the image of waking up in a hospital room all by herself much clear in her mind. She continued to walk until a purple light lit up her face.

She looked upwards, the title of the old establishment she used to work in blasted into purple light. Now, she was a rational being, a true believer of think before you act  but she was cold and seemingly no longer held fear of her own death. Life is ephemeral and if she was meant to die, if fate was a thing then let it be. She went through the bodyguards entering the club that despite being almost Christmas Eve was filled with people. 

Meanwhile James was leaning against one of his club’s walls, cigarette hanging from his lips. Filthy habit he knew, but he did it when he stressed. It soothed him, yet it seemed like all self destroying things soothed him. His eyes lingered against the empire he had built which now seemed so stupid. All material things and a few kills to remember him by when he died. He wondered if they would even remember or if when he breathe his last breathe, he’d be erased as quickly as he came to be. No one remembers what came in between and James did not create the business, he just perfected it. Nothing surprised this old dog anymore until tonight. He thought his brain was playing tricks on him as he saw her pass through the doors, hair covered in a knitted hat yet as quickly as he saw her enter, the quicker he saw her leave.

     - Steve, follow her. - he immediately told the blonde who was happily chatting with his newly wedded bride. - Tell me where she stops. You better not lose her out sight or you won’t have any children.

Y/N was fast out, the moment she felt the warmth of the club. She no longer knew what she was doing, much too lost in whatever pain mixed with unresolved feelings she had. Nevertheless, she was out, and immediately calling Wanda. She was out on a date but offered to stay at her house and that was enough. She needed to sleep, consider what she was doing here and then return to Massachusetts. She could get used to being Elizabeth, the orphan girl who went to Harvard. She could be Betty, she could be someone on paper. She just didn’t know how to be Y/N anymore. She had to go back.

Wanda’s new place wasn’t thankfully too far and per usual she hide the key behind her petunia vase. Inside it looked exactly like what she believed her best friend’s dream home looked like but she deserved it. She deserved Vision, she deserved all this happiness and she wished she could stay behind and watch it. 

She stripped out of her frosted clothes, walking into the bathroom to take a warm shower. “It’s no use dwelling on the past, sweetheart. It’s already gone.” her mother used to tell her and she guessed she was right, what use was it for her to wonder what if? There was no what if. She was a dead woman if he knew, but Y/N was already dead even if she didn’t. The last name ended with her, the genetic tree of her ancestors ended with her and she guessed it fit, destroyer of trees and blood. 

She felt the warm water drip down her body and onto the porcelain floor of the shower, the foam making the air smell like wild daisies on a summer afternoon. It felt warm, it felt nice, thoughtless, to be only the essence of life without the obligation of thought.  Just seeing, living, greatly dissolving into the fabric of nature. Stepping out of the shower, thought evaded. She was expecting to see him, to look at him one last time before she was gone. Yet again, what use was to look into someone who’d she betrayed? It was no use. 

She involved herself in the white fluffy towel, walking into the kitchen to rummage through whatever Wanda and Vision had. Wanda was always a fun of tropical fruit so she knew she probably kept something yummy for her.

    - You’ve always toyed with probability, petal. - she turned around once she head that voice, heart clenched yet beating faster at the same time. - It is very dangerous for you and for you friend. Easy lock, windows open. 

     - If you’re going to do it, please do it outside where we won’t stain my friend’s apartment. 

     - Oh petal ... - he took the gun from the holster which was always close to his legs. She had been shot before, she didn’t feel it, it didn’t hurt. She closed her eyes, waiting for the sound but the only sound that came was his gun hitting the floor. She opened her sides, watching as he slide the gun over to her, it reaching her feet. - I thought we were done with you being afraid of me. 

     - James ...

     - Bucky. - he corrected her, still standing on the opposite side of the room. She stood there motionless but he started walking up to her. - You think I want to kill you.

    - The worse thing I have ever did was what I did to you. Besides, Wanda saw one of your friends on campus with a gun.

    - We always carry guns, petal. The question is what have you done to me?

    - I’ve betrayed you.

    - Have you? Because I don’t remember my shipment being intercepted not that it would, I lied to you.

    - You lied to me?

    - I never doubted your ... your affections towards me but I did doubt your loyalty to your father. I was surprised. 

    - Were you?

    - No, I lied. What I was surprised about what that you took a bullet meant for me. What the fuck were you thinking? You could’ve died.

    - I don’t know.

    - You ran away from me. I wanted ... I ...

    - What did you want, Bucky? - she cocked her head to the side, examining him and whatever his thoughts were doing to him.

    - I wanted you. I wanted to have been by your side when you took a bullet for me, I wanted you in my bed, not in my bar I hate watching other men ogle you. I wanted you to marry me and carry my child. I wanted to give you everything I have and some more, all of what I have and all of what I don’t have. I wanted you, the captain’s daughter. I adored you. 

   - You don’t know me.

   - I know you. You’re a terrible liar, can’t lie to save your life. Your heart ... - he stepped closer and closer to her. - Is on your sleeve. You might not know who you are or you might forget it but when you do remember I control everything but you control me. 

   - Bucky ...

   - I just wanted to see you’re alive and well. I’ll leave and promise you’ll never see me again if you want. 

   - You didn’t ask me what I wanted.

   - What do you want, petal?

   - I want you to kiss me. 

   - I know where that ends, petal. - he smirked, hand searching for hers. - Very tempting of you to do those things to me. 

5 YEARS LATER

It was cold, the sort of cold Bucky had began to hate, the sort of cold he felt whenever she left early in the morning to go to work but it was the sort of cold which mixed with sweet memories. Nevertheless, there he was, at another meeting, hearing whatever bullshit excuses Rumlow had to give him. Steve had been the one to suggest taking his territory rather than just off him yet taking care of a damaged business with an even more damaged partner was doing his head in. He stood against the new furnished couches of the bar, drinking his scotch as he heard Rumlow ramble and ramble about how he had good ideas. He had ideas, just not good ones. An hour late he was leaving the godless establishment to return home. He walked home as he always did during winter, watching the newly put up Christmas lights in the streets. His apartment wasn’t too far, having sold his previous one once Y/N moved back to Massachuts to buy one near her and then selling it once she graduated to buy another one. It was close to the bar and she liked it that way, constantly begging him not to go during Christmas and stay with her but business was business. Entering his home, the electrical fireplace was on and his heavily pregnant wife was barefoot, walking side to side and jumping into her dress.

    - Stop jumping, you’ll fall and hurt yourself. - Bucky smirked, walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her body. - And we all know you can’t get up when you fall. 

    - So funny. - she playfully slapped him on the chest. - It’s almost as if this wasn’t your fault. 

    - How’s our little boy?

    - How do you know it’s not a girl? - she smirked. - Nice try, Bucky but you’ll only know when the baby is born. 

    - You’re killing me here.

    - Come on, we have to go to the twin’s baby shower.

    - Explain to me again why did your friend decided to do a baby shower after the babies were born?

    - So that she would tell us what size clothes they are. - she gave him a soft kiss, leaning against him. - You won’t be your usual grumpy, scary self. You’ll be good to the other dads. 

    - What will I tell the other dads when they ask me what I do?

    - You’re a business man. - she straightened his suit’s lapel. - Isn’t that somewhat true?

    - You’re lucky I adore you.

    - Come on. 

Bucky found it hard mixing both of their lifestyles, but he did it for her. God, he had done so much for her and he only wanted to do more for her. If someone had told him he’d beg the police captain to go to his wedding just to make Y/N happy, he would’ve laughed, yet Y/N deserved it. His father had pretty much set her aside once it came to light she was hanging out with him and he couldn’t help but feel guilty about it. He didn’t have many friends and those he had had completely relationships to the friends Y/N had, nevertheless he tried. He wanted to be the best husband and the best father he could possibly be. Bucky would lay sleepless every single night wondering how he’d do it. How would he go to profession day and tell kids about his job? He couldn’t or he’d traumatise them. Nevertheless, he worried. Y/N was going to be a great mum, the best mum even but him? He wasn’t so sure.

They reached Wanda’s place which was decorated with all sorts of baby blue decorations. 2 boys in one go. If Bucky suddenly had two kids, he would’ve had a heart attack. He barely knew he could be a good dad for one, imagine two.

    - Oh my god, you’re huge. - Wanda said as she opened the door. - How come it’s not out yet?

    - The baby’s stubborn like his father. 

    - More like his mother. - Wanda added. - Come see the twins.

There were two bassinets on the living room where Vision was frantically rocking them side to side, Pietro sat in the couch on his phone while most of the guests were still to arrive. Y/N looked over the bassinets, the two babies laying there wide awake which probably explained why Vision looked so overwhelmed. 

   - Why are they so big? - Y/N whispered to Bucky. - I can’t push something that big out of me. 

   - Well, think positive, at least you’re only pushing one out of you and not two. 

   - So that’s Billy and that’s Tommy. I think. - Wanda cocked her head to the side. - Well, Billy replies to his name and Tommy doesn’t.

    - Can I hold one? 

    - Sure. Bucky, do you wanna hold one? - Wanda asked and before he could reply, the redhead had already put a baby in his arms. James hadn’t held a baby, he didn’t know how to hold a baby yet there it was, a baby. - Aw, look at that Billy or Tommy likes you.

   - We’re still working on what colour we should dress one another so we know which one is which. - Vision added. - Pietro is still upset we didn’t name one Pietro.

   - Y/N you will name your baby Pietro if it’s a boy. 

   - Absolutely not. - she said as she cooed the baby in her arms. - They’re so beautiful. Congratulations. 

   - Yeah ... - Bucky handed back the baby to Wanda. - Do you think I can use your balcony?

   - Sure. 

Y/N furrowed her browns, putting the baby back in his crib before excusing herself. She gave Bucky some time before following him and there he was, leaned against the wall, cigarette hanging from the middle of his lips as his wild blue eyes observed the night sky. 

   - It’s a filthy habit. - she walked into the balcony. - What’s stressing you?

   - Nothing’s stressing me, petal.

  - You always smoke when you’re stressed so let it out. What’s wrong? Is it Rumlow?

  - Rumlow wishes he could stress me. 

  - Bucky.

  - You’re pregnant, petal. Like ... really, really pregnant.

  - We’ve established that. - she looked at her own bump. - You thought it was a food baby?

  - I don’t know, looking at Wanda’s kids ... we will have a baby in less than a month and I am going to be a father and I will screw it up. I’m not ready.

  - You’re stressed about being a dad? - she wrapped her arms around his neck, soft kind eyes looking at him. - Buck, everyone’s stressed with their first baby. You’re going to be a great dad.

  - I should get a new job.

  - Not this again.

  - Yes. I need to get a new job so the baby ...

  - Bucky, you don’t need a new job. - she interrupted him. - Your job won’t put the baby in danger because I won’t let it happen. I don’t know if you remember but I’m very good at deflecting bullets.

  - Deflecting? - he laughed. - You’re very good at catching them.

  - Either way, you’re going to be a great dad. Steve’s a great dad and he went parachuting without a parachute like an idiot. You take a parachute, at least.

  - I see your point.

  - James Barnes, in exactly five months you’re gonna be as good as a father as you could be. - she leaned against him, taking her opportunity to take the cigarette away from his mouth and tossing it out the balcony. Her eyes followed up to his face, intently on something. - What?

  - I smell snow.   

taglist: @lookiamtrying​ @mariamermaid​ @sebastianstansqueen​ @unmagically​ @buckybarnes1982​ @mela-noche​ @lowercasegenius​ @randomweirdooo​ @projectcampbell​ @sebbystanlover-vk​ @jevans2​ @hollarious​ @itsallyscorner​ @tcc-gizmachine​ @saiyanprincessswanie​ @stuckysavedmylive​ @vicmc624​​ @sebstanfan123​​

[outropeace]

Hi! Could you please recommend some really angsty Larry fics? Like fics which will make me full on sob by the end of them

these are a few of my most favorite angsty fics i read last year uwu

show you the stars in the daylight (13k) by bruisedhoney [@yvesaintlourent]

Louis has a type and at sixteen and scrawy, it's definitely not his best friend's little brother Harry...ten years later, he changes his mind.

late night devil (put your hands on me) (20k) by goodmorninglou [@goodmorninglou]

Harry Styles has always put up with him. With every snip of attitude, every idiotic act of stubbornness, every harsh and sour word. Each time Louis thinks he's stepped too far, clung too tight, bitten too hard, Harry is there to forgive him, to protect him, to hold him. Maybe he was naive to think that, no matter how hard he pushed, Harry would never move.

Maybe he should have seen it coming.

Weightless (25k) by smittenwithlouis [@smittenwithlouis]

Harry is the best dragon racer the world has ever seen and Louis is an almost-vet who feels like he is carrying the weight of the world.

fever dream high (30k) by wildestdreams [@butyouneverdo]

Harry and Louis are best friends and nothing more until things start getting a little complicated and they're faced with feelings they never wanted to confront.

Where I Should Be (31k) by captainsftlouis [@goldenchafi]

Harry is getting married, Louis is in love with his best friend, and they only have this life to get it right.

like it's a game (32k) by soldouthaz [@soldouthaz]

there is little harry hates more than truth or dare.

and louis.

Until (38k) by  allwaswell16 [@allwaswell16]

Rural Eagle County, Colorado wasn’t the type of place to find a famous musician or actor. At least not until songwriter Louis Tomlinson showed up with pop star Niall Horan to visit his uncle’s horse ranch, and they just happened to find themselves next door to a reclusive former movie star. 

Caves End (39k) by jacaranda_bloom [@jacaranda-bloom]

Harry has lost his future, Louis has lost his past, but maybe together, they can find a way through the dark.

The Space Between (39k) by alltheselights [@alltheselights]

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

before we knew (39k) by falsegoodnight [@falsegoodnight]

Or Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed onto his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

Your Touch Shouldn't Make Me Feel Like This (48k) by thinlines [@thinlinez​]

Alpha Harry has been in love with his omega friend for the longest time and one motorbike trip to the countryside with Louis made him realize that he could no longer hold back his feelings.

through the wheatfields and the coastlines (52k) by thepolourryexpress [@thepolourryexpress]

Louis needs inspiration, and a certain cowboy and his lamb are the perfect distraction.

dripping like spider milk (64k) by raspberryoats [@raspberryoatss]

Louis is a retired porn star and he gets invited back to test a new line of sex products the company he worked for is releasing (would include photoshoots and videos of Louis sampling certain toys). Harry is there to photograph, film, and intimately help him along the way

sleeping on our problems (68k) by falsegoodnight [@falsegoodnight]

Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

adjudication (75k) by  bottomlinsons [@bottomlinsons]

Harry's been engaged to Princess Charlotte of Ryde for as long as he can remember. He's come to know her, to love her, through the letters she's sent him over the past three years.

But when the wedding finally arrives, Harry quickly learns that nothing is as it seems. With his crown and country at stake, Harry must decide who to trust in this strange new land. And the sly Crown Prince of Ryde doesn't seem inclined to make things easy.

A Distant Hazy Light (78k) by  green_feelings [@greenfeelings]

Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.

The Wrath of the Emerald Eyes (85k) by purpledandelion [@purpledandeli0n]

His chin is grabbed harshly, facing the two deep green eyes that have been getting on his nerves for the past ten minutes. The smirk on the man's face does not vanish. The grip of his hand on Louis' chin does not soften, his thumb at the side of his lower lip.

His smile widens as he answers Louis' question, ''My name is Styles, but you will call me Captain."

don't you think that it's boring how people talk? (86k) by wildestdreams [@butyouneverdo]

A Gossip Girl AU where Louis is the king of the Upper East Side and Harry is the bad boy he loves to hate, until a late night limo ride changes everything.

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (109k) by kingsofeverything [@kingsofeverything]

Louis’ life is steady and calm, moored by his marriage, and tied to his hometown, but after a chance encounter with another man, it’ll never be the same.

[rowansparrow]

By Any Other Name: Playlist

Hello darlings. I had lots of people send me songs that reminded them of BAON, And I think I mentioned every now and then I had certain songs in mind when writing chapters, so I thought I’d compile everything into a playlist for those of you who might be interested. :) If there are lyrics underneath a song, then that means it’s one I was actively listening to/daydreaming to when writing that scene so take that however you wish, lol. 

(My personal favorite picks have stars by them, so if you listen to nothing else I’m BEGGING you to listen to those but it’ll hurt you probably)

Enjoy, and I hope you get some cool new tunes out of this lol. 

Chapter One

***(Flashback) Reader Meets Rose: Human - The Killers “Wave goodbye, wish me well, you’ve got to let me go”

Chapter Two

Opening Night at the Rose Lounge: Yeah! - Usher (Ft. Lil John & Ludacris) ***Fives Takes the Stage: oops! - Yung Gravy Fives, Hardcase, and Jesse dance: Good Girls Bad Guys - Falling in Reverse The Captain Arrives / (Flashback) Rex tells the reader: Turn to Hate - Orville Peck “Dumb enough to take the bait, don’t let my sorrow turn to hate” 

Chapter Three:

(Flashback) Playing Sabacc: Everybody Lost Somebody - Bleachers “There’s a reason I see myself in a million faces, I reason I can’t stop it all from changing, so come on motherfucker, you survived, you gotta give yourself a break.”  Rex Calms Reader Down: Don’t Let Me Cave In - The Wonder Years

Chapter Four: 

(Flashback) Depression and Loss: The Chain - Ingrid Michaelson “Promise not to promise anymore, and if you come around again, then I will take, then I will take, the chain from off the door.” 

Chapter Five: 

***Fives and Reader in the Office: Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia “It’s a bad bet, certain death, but I want what I want and I got to get it.”  (Flashback) Rose and Reader on the Roof: Love and War in your Twenties - Jordy Searcy

Chapter Six: 

(Flashback) Rose and Reader on the Roof: Photograph - Ed Sheeran “You won’t ever be alone, wait for me to come home” Forgiving Captain Rex: Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself.” 

Chapter Seven: 

***(Flashback) Reader meets Captain Rex: Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery “She’s a lady, and I am just a boy. I am just a line without a hook.”  ***Rex and Reader on the Roof: If the World Was Ending - JP Saxe (Ft. Julia Michaels) “Would you love me for the hell of it? All our fears would be irrelevant.” 

Chapter Eight: 

Fives/Reader/Echo Together: Easy - The Commodores The Helmet: Unshaken - Christian Larsson

Chapter Nine: 

(Flashback) Broken Glass, Bandaged Hands: Falling - Harry Styles “What am I now? What am I now? What if you’re someone I just want around?” ***Fives’ Confrontation on the Roof: Insomnia - IAMX “You could see the madness in my eyes. I’ve lost control, please save me from myself.” 

Chapter Ten:

***(Flashback) Rose and Reader’s First Time: Dustland - The Killers Ft. Bruce Springsteen “Is there still magic in that midnight sun, or did you leave it back in ‘61? In the cadence of a young man’s eyes, out where the dreams all hide.”  ***Rex and Reader with Fives: A Letter to Georgia - The Airborne Toxic Event “Afraid of this truth that love could cause you so much pain, darling I wish it wasn’t true.” 

Chapter Eleven: 

Fives and Rex Fight: Toxic - Britney Spears (Flashback) Rose and the Children: Father and Son - Cat Stevens “From the moment I could talk, I was ordered to listen. Now, there’s a way, and I know, that I have to go away. I know I have to go.”  ***Rex Tells the Truth: The Night We Met - Lord Huron “I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you. Take me back to the night we met.” 

Chapter Twelve:

The 501st at War: Vode An (Epic Version) - Samuel Kim The Garbaks: Once Upon a Memory - Kan Gao (instrumental) Defending the Garbak Village: Bang Bang - Green Day ”Give me death or give me head. I’m daddy’s little psycho and mommy’s little soldier.”  ***Rose Sees the Missiles: A Conversation with Death - Khemmis ”As long as God in heaven dwell, your soul, your soul shall scream in hell.”  ***Rose’s Final Moments: Deadman’s Gun - Ashtar Command “You’ve given them all you can give, and luck won’t save them tonight.”

Chapter Thirteen:

(Flashback) Marry Me: Wildest Dreams - Taylor Swift “Say you’ll see me again, even if it’s just in your wildest dreams.”  ***The Ring: Runaway Horses - The Killers (Ft. Phoebe Bridgers) “Head first into the unknown, like runaway horses, in a fever till the end.” 

Chapter Fourteen:

Rex After Umbara: Everything I Love is Broken - The Airborne Toxic Event ***The Mountains and the Sea: Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie “I need you so much closer.” 

Chapter Fifteen: 

***Fives Knows: Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths “Throw yourself into the unknown with a pace and a fury defiant.”  The Outlander: Boba Fett’s Theme (The Book of Boba Fett) - Samuel Kim (Besties I am begging you to listen to this one)

Chapter Sixteen:

Out of the Fire: ONCE AGAIN, Boba Fett’s Theme (The Book of Boba Fett) - Samuel Kim. See above link. Just let the scenes segue together with this playing in the background it’ll change your life I promise. “They Called Me Rose”: Open the Door - The Mandalorian Season 2 Soundtrack.

TAG LIST:  @fat-zygerrian @ladydiomede @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @threevie @cheesemachine44 @bubblyacey @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @loverofclones @starwarsgarbage @hockeyjedi13 @crazygirlwithasword @dar-manda-rjct @gotomarvelgal @baba-fett @whore4rex @bubblegumcat229 @generalcannoli @hellothere501stlover @in-the-crosshairs @vaderthepotater @for-the-love-of-clones @babyhowzer @imrealatedtothe501st @chewychewyque @bobafettuccini @baba-fett-writes @chromia7567 @coffeeandtodd @thedomesticatednerd @kirinpl @djarrex @a-c-lee @embarrassedauthornerd @kaorikoizumi @the-girl-of-rain-and-shadows @sammi9498 @theroguesully​ @paige6768

[duuhrayliegh]

watch your six - part four

pairing: eventual bucky x reader (still a slow burn but it’s getting closer)

warnings: some violence but not really, men being creepy, language (one f bomb), also badly written speaking while crying, aaand i think that’s it

word count: a little over 2300

a/n: aaaah it’s part four babes!!!! the response to this has been so positive i’m in love with y’all!!! <3 <3 <3 i’m still way behind on my classwork and going through a terrible break up but we’re pushing through here

p.s.: my requests are still open if y’all want me to write yall something! aaalso, there’s a bucky short coming tomorrow ;)) <3

series m.list

ray’s m.list

********************************** 

This strange man’s hand was still caressing my hair as he smirked down at me. Running has hands up to the root and then yanking my head upwards to face him directly. “When I speak to you, you look me in the eye, little one.” Not one to show my fear, at least not to men like him, I scoffed. Thick brows shot towards his hairline and a twitch in his jaw as he clenched it. The hold he had in my hair gave him leverage over me. I winced as he lifted his arm to bring my face closer to his. A small whimper escaped the back of my throat, saliva gathering in my mouth. “Don’t test me, little one.” I sneered then spat in his face, the wet substance sticking to his face across his nose and cheek.

Bringing a hand up to his face to swipe the thick liquid from his skin, he glowered as he pulled his palm away. Then several things happened at once. The man forced a harsh breath out and then I was facing the ground with a sting on my left cheek. A gasp left my lips, he just slapped me. Who the hell does he think he is? I shook my head and then leveled my gaze with the man’s. I’m almost positive that my cheek is sporting a bright red handprint that does nothing for my complexion.

“What the hell man? What was that for?” I groaned while attempting to soothe my throbbing cheek on my shoulder. I mean, was it kind of justified? I did just spit in this man's face. No, he totally deserved that. After releasing his grip on my hair, he transferred his hands to the sides of the chair I was chained to. The metal scraping along the concrete floor caused a loud screech to reverberate through the small room.

“I said not to test me, bitch.” the man growled out as he pushed my chair onto the back two legs. I’m starting to think that this is a bit more serious than I originally thought. “Now, you’re going to sit here like a good little bitch and tell me what I want to know.” He retreated only to grab the chair that Suits used. Slamming against the pavement he straddled the chair with his forearms resting on the back.

“How many missions did you participate in?” I released a groan and rotated my head, leaning my head back.

“I already told your friend,” I tilted my head to speak directly to the absolute jerk-wad of a man in front of me, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The man quirked an eyebrow and clenched his jaw. He rolled his neck, causing the bones in it to crack and then stood. He walked to the other side of the metal table that sat in the middle of the room. The sound of a zipper caused me to snap my head to where he was standing. The tactical vest he was wearing dropped to the metal surface allowing for a loud thunk to flow through the room. He stretched out his shoulders and swung his arms out in front as if he was trying to increase the blood flow. I’m the one who’s literally tied to a freaking chair, what does he need blood flow for? My breathing quickened,  calm down, don’t show any fear. He popped the knuckles of his hands and approached me.

“I’m not a patient man.” He bent at the knees and leaned his face closer to mine. Exhaling into my face, he maintained eye contact with me. “And you’re not acting like the good little girl we both know you oh-so-desperately want to be.” I rolled my eyes at that, apparently that was the wrong thing to do in this man’s face. His left eye twitched as he stared at me.

“Do you think you could back up? Your breath reeks, man.” I have no concern for my own well-being do I? The man’s head tilted to the side and then he wolfed out a gruff laugh. He shifted his weight to land on the heels of his feet and threw his body into the laugh. It was a bit disconcerting to see this man laughing so wholeheartedly in a situation that didn’t feel funny to me. Another blow to the side of my face was issued, however this time he didn’t stop. Several open handed hits were delivered, all the while he was resetting my head back by grasping my chin. My breathing was becoming labored, my chest heaving up and down in a frenzy. He gripped my chin and jerked it upwards so he could stand at his full height to tower over me.

“How many missions did they send you on?” He demanded, increasing his hold on my face surely leaving sickening bruises that would match his fingers perfectly. At some point, tears began running down my red cheeks.

“I don’t kno-ow what you’re talking ab-about!” Tears streaming down my swollen face, “I s-swear to god, I don’t know wh-what you mean!” Choked sobs were preventing me from breathing correctly. The man grabbed my shoulders and shook my body.

“Calm the fuck down and speak clearly.” Small hiccups were escaping my mouth without permission. Why am I letting this guy get to me? What the hell is happening? “How many missions did they send you on?” I broke down again, fat tears leaking out of my eyes.

“I ju-just want to go h-h-home. I s-swear I don’t kno-ow anything!” I shouted in his face. He glowered at me and lifted his hand from my shoulder. My whole body tensed as I readied myself to the impact.

“Johnson.” The door burst open, stopping Johnson from landing another hit. “This is not what you were supposed to be doing.” Suits walked back in the room. Johnson backed down, lowering his hand and turning to the new member in the room. “Sir, I was told to interrogate the prisoner.”

“Yes, Johnson, interrogate her. Not beat her to a pulp.” He gestured wildly with his hand. “If the boss found out you were doing this, he’d have your head on a platter.” Suits took steps closer toward us and Johnson shrunk into himself. “Get out of here before I call him about this.” Johnson nodded quickly and left the room quickly, leaving his tactical vest on the table.

I was still quietly crying while strapped to the metal frame of the chair. Suits approached me while pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket. He raised it to my face and I jolted backwards away from his touch. “Easy now, I’m only here to help.” Is he seriously pulling a good cop, bad cop routine on me right now? He wiped my cheeks of the salty remnants, “Now, how can I help you besides that?”

“You co-could let me go h-home.” I tried to say without stuttering, clearly unsuccessful. I didn’t want to show my emotions but really at this point, could it get worse?

“Awe, girly. You know I can’t do that until you tell me what I want to know.” He began to drag the chair next to me, back to the opposite side of the table. This created an obstacle between the two of us, which made me slightly more comfortable knowing he wouldn’t be able to reach me as quickly.

I heaved a sigh, “but I don’t know anything.” My weeping had come to a definite end, making way for frustration. My face heated for a different reason than being struck several times.

“See, this is where we disagree because I know that you’re lying to me.” He shook his finger in my face and I scrunched my brows together, flicking my eyes between his finger and face.

“You’re kidding me. I told you I don’t know about any missions.”

“Oh really? Then who’s Gemini?” He reclined in his chair, looking smug. “Actually, you know more importantly, who is Libra? The whole thing is just fascinating to me.”

“I don’t know what any of that is. I swear to whatever you want me to.”

“Then why do I have this that says you do.” He held up the manila folder that he first walked in with. I shrugged my shoulders.

“Whatever is in there is lying to you.” He cocked his head to the side and flipped the folder open. He removed a photograph from the folder and placed it on the table in front of me. Staring back at me, was a slightly younger version of myself with shorter hair. A large X was drawn across the whole picture and underneath it read the words ‘Agent Libra.’

My eyes widened, “I have never seen that before, in my life.” Suits sighed heavily and then began flipping through the rest of the papers.

“So what is the Svengali?” He threw out another paper and I glanced down at it. It looked like a typed report of some kind. Much of it redacted by thick black lines. The words Libra, Gemini, and Svengali were visible amidst the sea of dark ink.

*****************************

A ping sounded throughout the room causing the screen of the phone to illuminate. A metal hand reached for the thin device.

New mission alert. You’re needed. Meet at the compound.

Great, this is just what Bucky needed to keep him distracted. Sleep never came easy to him so he was spending copious amounts of time trying to catch up on what he missed out on. Steve told him to make a list and Sam kept rambling on about some gay Marvin man? Bucky much prefered to do things on his own. He hasn’t had help for over ninety years, why should he need it now?

Throwing on his leather jacket as he began to leave his apartment, he checked the pockets for the keys to his motorcycle. He also made sure to grab his gloves. Even though T’Challa and Shuri were good enough to give him a new vibranium arm, Bucky still wasn’t too keen on being stared at in public. It was better for everyone if he just kept the arm tucked away as much as he could while around strangers.

He did one last once over of his apartment before locking the door behind him. He jogged down the stairs towards his bike. It definitely was his pride and joy, it was the first thing that he bought with his own money since 1943. His apartment was courtesy of Pepper Potts, no thanks to Tony’s complaining. Tony and Bucky had eventually worked out their differences, to say the least. Tony still hadn’t fully forgiven the Winter Soldier for killing his parents, and neither had Bucky so they were agreeing to disagree.

The ride to the compound from Brooklyn wasn’t a hard one. It gave Bucky time to appreciate the scenery around him. Slowing to a stop at a four way stop just outside of the compound, Bucky dropped his feet to the tarmac below, stabilizing the bike between his legs. He tilted his head back and felt the warm rays of the sun on his face. Warm was something that Bucky was still getting used to, it was easier in Wakanda. He had his own hut, voluntary therapy sessions, and easy-going check ups with Shuri in her lab.

Everything was simpler in Wakanda, but what Bucky missed most from Wakanda was the stability. He didn’t have to worry about missions, or keeping up with Steve, or the crushing guilt that he felt whenever he saw Tony. After parking his bike at the facility, Bucky made his way to the meeting room. Dark wooden tables in an L-shape appeared in his view. Steve and Sam were standing in front of the large monitor that was displaying images of an unknown, yet familiar looking woman.

“Tony, we don’t know if she knows anything.” Natasha said, apparently trying to rationalize with someone else in the room.

“Natasha, we don’t know that she doesn’t not know anything.” Tony shot back, Sam turned slowly and opened his mouth with a confused expression on his face.

“Tony, we aren’t in an episode of FRIENDS. This is serious. We need to decide if this is worth pursuing or not.”

“Wilson, that’s all well and good but we have to acknowledge that this woman could get us our first real break in our search.” Tony explained while taking deep breaths.

“What are we deciding?” Bucky interrupted as he plopped into one of the chairs. Now that Bucky has been given his freedom back, he’s able to display a difference between his mission self and his regular self.

“This woman here,” Steve gestured to the woman on the screen, “is a member of the Virago. It’s an international branch of SHIELD that was believed to be infiltrated by HYRDA years ago.”

“This is the agent code named Libra. Her last mission was with another agent code named Gemini. The mission report has since been lost to us. All we know is that Libra and Gemini were instructed to watch a Svengali safehouse. Apparently something went wrong and only Libra made it out alive.” Tony added, “Which is why we need to find her and see what she knows.” “Tony! There’s no guarantee that she has any knowledge of this mission.” The redhead stressed as she leaned over the table towards the man she was speaking to.

“I think we should find her.” The words left Bucky’s mouth before he could stop them. All motion in the room stopped.

“Um, did the Manchurian Candidate just agree with me?” Tony questioned as the rest of the room remained quiet.

“Look, I’m not necessarily agreeing with you.” Bucky started.

“Nope, can’t take it back.” Tony mused, “Already said it.” Bucky sighed and shook his head.

“Why do you think we should go after her Buck?” Steve inquired. Bucky’s brows furrowed and he shrugged his shoulders.

“I think I know her from somewhere.”

[thejudgingtrash]

Can you explain to me how Rachel was annoying in the series?

Well, I’ll try to keep myself short for this one (lol no, this took an hour to write). Also, let’s not forget that they’re all kids, but I’m basing this off from when I read the series as a fourteen year old because my opinions haven’t changed much (for better or for worse).

I’m not the biggest fan of Rachel. I have to admit that portrayals of her by Simi, Kit, Logan, Apollo and all the others helped to shape her into something cooler than what she had been in my foggy memories but I actually went back to take a look in the books (well, TTC + BOTL so far) to refreshen my mind about events that have happened.

Also, you should browse through @blackjacktheboss's blog as she’s a) hilarious and b) says whatever I say in like a single sentence lol. But your ask is about me and my opinions so here we go:

What I didn’t like about Rachel was that she’s rude and bold (DON’T GET ME WRONG, I love that in female characters!!!), but she doesn’t have Annabeth’s excuse of survival of the fittest (literally running off as a traumatized seven year old) and introducing us into the world of the Riordanverse.

Percy was on his way, had shit to deal with and Rachel pretty much interrupted him from the get-go and thought getting her answers was more important than letting Percy just rush forward. Yes, this is Rachel’s entrance into the series and the net Riordan threw into the sea, to make us little fish adapt to her. But it still didn’t sit right with me, probably because I would never interact that way.

I get why she did that, but it’s the way how she did it that’s just making me go ???

Even if I was seeing weird things, I wouldn’t set out to distract/interrupt someone who is incredibly busy to get my way. Rachel’s dick move seems like a Karen boomer type of thing to pull off, but guess that’s up to you.

If I were her, I’d either film/try to photograph the monsters via phone (if that’s possible) or internet stalk enough to find the other person (note: despite Riordan’s stupid rule of not being able to use phones, demigods still can use computers/the internet, I guess). Percy was national news like a year or two ago in the timeline, so it shouldn’t be that difficult to find more stuff out about him, even in like 2008 or so. Let him have a spot on Perez Hilton's shitty gossip blog, for the OGs reading this.

Annabeth was used as a tool of exposition to introduce us to CHB, the demigod life and how things roll around there. She barged into Percy’s mission as a nuisance first but a necessity second in TLT.

However, in comparison to Rachel, Annabeth was transformed into a fully-fledged protagonist within a span of a chapter or two. Rachel needed another separate book after her first appearance, so we don’t just know Annabeth better, we know that she’s an important constant throughout the story as of Rachel seems… almost random? Is she truly necessary as a character?

This doesn’t come from a shipper perspective, this is coming from a character design perspective and adds to the feeling that the way she has been introduced to me as a reader just seems off.

Yes, BOTL makes sense with her as a reborn Ariadne, but technically Sally could’ve done the job as she’s a clear-sighted mortal as well lol. Then again, Sally is an adult, went to college, had a job, was unfortunately probably working it up with Paul, did the cha cha slide with him and had overall better shit to do.

Then Rachel as the oracle, which is just super weird in general. Wasn’t Apollo himself responsible for issuing prophecies in the OG myths? Or did he both, have the oracle of Delphi as his spokesperson and issue important stuff to Team Olympus? Am I mixing things up? I’m getting sidetracked, my bad.

Either way, this oracle gig might be the only time I’d say Rachel might be important in the future (badum tzz), but Riordan fumbled the bag in the follow ups series so there’s that. Did she even appear in HOO? Can’t remember and also don’t care.

Rachel is used as one out of three choices in regard to his love life that Percy can make. Calypso literally got introduced into BOTL and was admittedly Percy’s biggest what if… But the general gist doesn’t sit right with me. We have three possible routes with Percy and the others:

Rachel: somewhat normality in the mortal realm

Annabeth: the danger and thrill of the demigod life

Calypso: ambrosia and nectar. a hint of immortality

(On one hand, literally why but on the other hand, mad props for Percy who has literally three romantic leads in the same book.) I’d cancel one of them at least out and since Annabeth isn’t going anywhere, I’m taking Rachel. Sally could literally been Percy’s anchor to a normal mortal life as she had intended until it didn’t work out anymore when he became twelve and his monster alerting scent grew stronger.

Calypso and Annabeth would’ve been the perfect opposites where each of them had a strong case. The demigod life within the realms or mortal or the demigod life ascending to Olympus/immortality. Sounds cooler and is way simpler. Three people is way too much, this truly feels like a shonen anime harem thing and it’s defo not my cup of tea (and while some Annabeth sideships aren’t my thing (Lukabeth go cry in the corner, no one likes you, WTF, Connabeth you fugly), it’s super unfair that Annabeth solely has Percy (fuck off Luke) to rely on in regards of romantic endeavors).

Rachel almost feels redundant? The option to walk away from all of that… which isn’t really true as Rachel really tries to push and insert herself into the story the very first time we meet her? But that’s just me, I’m certain that others are saying they’d kill off Annabeth or kick Calypso (I mean yeah) into the curb.

Big ALSO:

Why does Percy need another white and uber-rich love interest?

I semi-joked on Dez’ post (@sawasawako) with this response about Annabeth needing to keep up with powerful Rachel, but the core still stands.

We already have an affluent Annabeth (granted, we don’t know exactly how the Chase’s riches are divided, whereas it’s clear that Rachel can just make anyone drop dead by saying who she is. Annabeth needed that weird lotus casino credit card to make that happen, so Miss Harvard Legacy doesn’t wield that Dare schmoney. Also don’t think Annabeth can just up papa’s money and go…? Idk).

Why do we need another person needing to upstage this?

Like Rachel has to triumph in regards to standard and prestige as if it were a badly written Jane Austen AU. For what reason…? Why not make Percy friends and acquaintances with someone who comes from a normal household for once, not super rich brats (Piper, Annabeth, Rachel, technically the Graces with their TV starlet mother amongst others).

Moreover…

Important question: why should Percy actually be impressed/attracted to that? He’s dirt poor and has been sent to (boarding) schools filled with stupid rich people since he’s been twelve, probably even younger than that. As if that’s the very first thing Percy would look out for or be wowed or something. He’s used to rich douchebags. I think he’s more surprised that someone used their money for his benefit for once and not to crash daddy’s new Mercedes again.

Like seriously… Rachel did that weird art project thing in BOTL with her covered in gold and posing like it’s a super normal thing to do? Even for rich snobbish kids standards? That sounds weird to me. I don’t know, maybe Riordan’s been streaming the new Gossip Girl reboot on HBO Max on repeat and thought this girl is on fiyah (performed by Alicia Keys).

Rachel trying to separate herself from her money just comes off as super hypocritical when she’s using the very same funds to finance her lifestyle. I get it, trying to make amends and make a difference with the damage you have done but... your father still doesn't give a shit about the environment or YOU, sweetie. Kick him in the balls for once! Then you can go out about your art projects.

The concept of Percy having friends in the mortal realm is cool, but why does Rachel almost have to compete with Annabeth with her wealth and art stuff?

No seriously, the comparisons are constantly there, out and about. Roaming freely on the finest grass, needing to be feed delicious locally sourced carrots and stuff.

Annabeth is Athena’s kid. Athena is the goddess of wisdom, weaving, justice, warfare yada yada and arts and crafts. So definitely something which would affect Rachel, right (someone write that Athena messing with Rachel because she can AU and tag me please!)?

Annabeth wants to become an architect which translates to fancy building designer who is driving engineers like Leonardo Eugenio Valdez Cortes insane irl because the maths and physics don't work like that in the working field trust me I'm an engineer, which could/should be considered an art form.

They even shared some common ground while talking about architecture and design in BOTL!

Furthermore, they both share broken homes with absent parents (granted that all demigods go through that). Wealthy families at that as well. Shitty fathers that don’t care about their daughters well-being. Rachel however, is super powerful and influential in an unseen level in the mortal world. She isn’t like Matt Sloan (?) who truly messes up by destroying shit to get his father's attention, but she’s still in that circle and can easily demonstrate that. Making deals with her father and what not. We rarely see Annabeth doing that. Did y’all forget the fucking helicopter Rachel brought along in TLO?

Pan saying Rachel is just as important as her father has multiple meanings to me…

(Sidenote: I do think it’s hilarious that Annabeth is jealous/annoyed of Rachel that her remarks were she’s cute right and Percy went??? Or when Tyson said Rachel’s pretty? Or that time when Annabeth actually defended Luke and his weird behavior (because Kronos was slowly taking over, don’t forget that kids!), because f that rich artist nepotism kid that Rachel seems to be, right?)

Another note: Percy thinks Rachel is annoying in BOTL for a while and it took a while for him to admit that and he spent way more time being annoyed/jealous (for once, Lordy) at Luke for him to even notice lol.

I guess it’s really hard for me to exactly pinpoint what’s bothering me. I believe Rachel's persona just doesn’t seem to hit right, because it feels like a knock-off Annabeth who just simply isn’t a demigod, yet has two cool powers, but in even richer who still needs to be part of the story for exactly what reason?

The jumping around from the richest in the series to the poorest in the series is kinda bothering me as if the middle class doesn’t exist, like I’ve stated earlier. Why didn’t Riordan mix it up with Rachel, giving her more nuance the minute they met, not towards the end? Have her be Percy’s platonic friend from the get go. No weird oh wait she is kinda cute in the middle bullshit.

This kinda drifted more into a Perachel vs Percabeth essay, which really wasn’t my intention. Don’t worry kids, I’m criticizing Annabeth (and her stans) enough already.

And I do think that others in the fandom have softened my views on Rachel as a person like I’ve stated in the beginning. So friendship!Perachel is popping! But I do think that there are some valid points that I’ve made.

Also not gonna lie, Rachel issuing the new prophecy in TLO kinda dampened the end of PJO series but that’s more Riordan’s fault than hers.

TLDR: I’m just not a huge fan of this overbearing, uber-rich, excessively flaunting being that Rachel sometimes displays. She’s flawed, she’s broken at times, has a semi-interesting background story (although it has been done over and over again throughout the series and should be changed up for once) which is great, but it is still annoying.

We don’t need an anti-Annabeth who feels like a weird caricature of the real Annabeth.

Also if this seems super incoherent, repetitive, or whatever, I'm sorry, massive headaches + mental health going down the goo lagoon does this to ya, I hope I made somewhat sense!

[thomaslightwood]

Blackthorn Detective Agency - Part 2

Part 1 || Ao3 || Masterlist

This is the KitTy Sherlock AU! (Just changed its name with something more like a fic's title)

It’s set in 1930s, slow burn & will have a few parts!

Words: 3 024

Ty rubbed his fingertips on the frame. It was old, its angels were soft. 

“Peru, 1890,” he read at the bottom of the photo. “This photograph is from more than 40 years ago.”

Which wasn’t unusual for a warlock - they lived for centuries. To keep photos from 40 years ago was logical. But why was this the only thing in this flat that was actually… personal? 

“It's the only personal piece here,” Kit said. Ty almost smiled - they had the exact same thought. “Probably in the whole flat, except the Spanish books.”

“You have a point,” Ty agreed. Between the pages of that book were papers with conjugated verbs in Spanish. Someone had written them there and Ragnor had copied them. That’s why Ty knew this wasn’t Ragnor’s handwriting on the photo. “But this is not his-”

A sharp sound interrupted him. It was the front door. Someone was trying to break it. Not as good at it as Kit, Ty noticed.

They had no time to worry too much. Ty grabbed Kit by the hand, opened the wood door with the other that was still holding the frame and dragged them both inside.

Ty was conscious he overstepped in Kit's personal space but a moment later they heard how the stranger broke the lock and their steps as they came inside.

The room was small and extremely dark. Ty couldn't see anything and he didn't have the space to draw a rune on himself about it. And he actually didn't have his stele in him. The bigger problem - the room was unknown to them. He was worried if they moved too much they'd make noise and would be exposed.

He heard or rather felt how Kit's breath fastened. Was he claustrophobic? Was it a bad idea to bring them in this small room?

Ty heard the slow steps as they were wandering around the room. They were coming dangerously close to the bedroom.

This was probably inappropriate and Ty didn't know if it would help at all but he must try. He carefully raised a hand and hurried it in Kit's hair. He dragged him closer to Ty until Kit's head was in Ty's neck.

He squeezed a little and Kit pressed against Ty. They both hold into each other in the sea of darkness, trying not to lose balance.

Ty was hearing the stranger's step in the room. They murmured something angrily. Ty was barely breathing. If they heard him and Kit in the closet…

A loud shatter interrupted his thoughts. Ty recognized it was a man's voice by the angry murmur. 

For a few more minutes he walked around the apartment, like he… he was searching for something. And he couldn't find it. Eventually the man breathed out heavily and opened the door, not bothering to shut it quietly after himself.

They waited a few more minutes, just to be safe. Then Ty carefully let go of Kit and opened the door. The sudden light hurt his eyes so he squinted for a while to get used to it.

The bed was untouched but Ty couldn't say the same about the living room. There were books on the floor, the table was inverted.

“He was searching for something,” Kit quietly said as he carefully grabbed a book from the floor. Was Ty imagining it or his face was a little flushed?

“Yes,” Ty agreed. He was still holding the frame with the photo. “But what? Could it possibly be this?” He handed the frame to Kit.

Kit took it and shrugged. “Maybe. But why is one old photo important?”

More questions. Even though they were in the very beginning and everything was unclear, Ty felt the thrill every new case evoked in him. The burning curiosity that tickled his insides, the thirst to know everything about the subject.

“I think we should go,” Kit said. He took the photo off the frame and put it in the pocket of his coat. “They may return or a neighbor heard the noise.”

Kit had a point, Ty thought but there was something that made him feel uneasy.

Kit was heading for the door but Ty slowed down before leaving the flat. He looked around once more. The books on the floor, the almost empty shelves and the open door to the bedroom. Ty grabbed one list with Spanish verbs and closed the door after himself.

      After this they went to the train station. It was surprisingly hard to find the schedule for the trains from a few days ago.

The guy they talked with wasn't happy about it. Kit could see he just wanted to enjoy his lunch. And probably was tempted to call the security to throw them out. 

But then Ty pulled out cash and the man was suddenly more friendly.

Ty didn't talk much nor did he look man in the eyes. Kit was feeling like he just wanted to get the information as fast as possible.

After the man was gone for a few minutes he returned with paper with what they asked for.

“Thank you very much,” Kit said as Ty put the list in the inside of his coat. “We appreciate your help.”

The man murmured something and sat heavily on his chair, finally able to eat.

“That was smart,” Ty said as they came out on the street, waiting to catch a taxi. 

“What?” Kit asked.

“To ask for the people who worked on the train that day. I didn't think about it.”

“It's nothing, really. I was just thinking about what I can do to help yesterday.”

The truth was Kit just wanted to be useful. Part of him was afraid if Ty noticed Kit wasn't doing anything he would fire him. He probably wasn't as good as Sherlock but he could understand how a criminal thinks. What they may have missed.

“I assume you already know because you're good at what you do, but,” Kit said. “People are important. They witness, tell, see and do crimes. They... they are the driving machine. Evidence is important but a person is the key. So I just thought about what people we can talk with.”

There was something thoughtful in Ty's expression as he watched Kit's cheek. “I'm not quite sure I agree.”

Before Kit could answer, a taxi stopped in front of them. 

As soon as Ty told the driver the direction, Kit said “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why don't you agree with me?”

“Well,” Ty said and the thoughtful look returned on his face. “It's true a person is the subject that commits the crime. But people… they are not what they appear to be. They're often hard to understand and you can't be sure who they are. They lie. And have inaccurate memories and sometimes are too afraid to tell the truth and to help. What I'm trying to say is that they're too often an unreliable source. While evidence… it's unchangeable on its own. Oneself is true to the very end. It's up to you to interpret how it fits in the whole picture. If it's wrong, it's your mistake. You're the only one to blame. While a person's words… you can't control that. Or trust it enough to interpret it rightfully.“

Ty stopped for a second, looking outside the taxi's window.

“What I'm trying to say is that a person can mislead you. Evidence never does.”

Kit was silent. The taxi pulled over in front of a small cafe, nestled between two clothing shops. Taki's Diner .

Kit remembered this was the name of the place Katarina and Ragnor met.

“We are going to question the employees?”

“Not quite,” Ty said simply and headed towards the restaurant. Kit followed, curiously looking at the surroundings.

There weren't many people. It was still early and most of them seemed sleepy. There were Downworlders as well as mundanes. Kit spotted a warlock with fully orange eyes flirting with a pale girl, probably a vampire.

There was also a mundane man who was reading a newspaper and murmured something to himself.

Ty headed at one table on the back, a bit hidden from the rest. The tables around it were empty. From the radio quietly came a Louis Armstrong's song. Kit smiled at that. He loved jazz.

Ty and Kit sat on the table. Kit took off his coat and cap.

A faerie waitress appeared in front of them and smiled. She was a short blonde who had two many bracelets on her arms.

“Hello gentlemen,” she smiled at them. “Here are your menus - look at it, choose a meal and I'll come to take your order.”

“Thank you,” Kit smiled at her. She winked in return and headed towards another table.

He returned his eyes on Ty. He had taken off his coat. It was carefully placed on the third chair on the table. He was looking around the cafe, touching the corners of his menu.

“If we're not here to interview the staff,” Kit said. “What are we here for?”

“To watch,” Ty said simply. “Observe. Talk with the regular clients.”

Kit looked around again, looking for something else this time. A woman who Kit immediately recognized as faerie sat on a table, crossed her legs and took out a book from her bag.

The waitress returned after a few minutes.

“Are you ready?” She had a notebook and pencil in her hands.

Kit hesitated. He didn't want to spend too much money but nothing here was too expensive.

“Onion omelet for me.” 

“Chipped potatoes please.”

She hurriedly wrote their orders down and smiled again. “Is that all?”

“Yes, thank you,” Ty said.

“Actually,” Kit said suddenly. Ty quickly looked at him but didn't say anything. He looked at the waitress pin with her name. “Nancy, right? My friend and I were wondering about something and it would be amazing if you can help us.”

“Of course,” she said and curiosity burned in her eyes. They were very blue.

“We thought a friend of ours arrived in the city a few days ago. He tends to like this place and we were wondering if he was here a few days ago perhaps?”

“What is he like?” she asked.

Kit took out the photo from Peru of Ragnor and his friends. 

She took and Kit could see on her face she recognized someone in the photo. She nodded enthusiastically.

“I have seen two of these people! The man with the white hair. He was here around three days ago with the woman.”

“Can you tell us something… unusual you noticed about them?”

The waitress - Nancy - shrugged.

“The usual warlocks. They stayed for an hour or two and then left. At the end of my shift he returned though.”

“Really?” Kit said casually, like he was merely curious for a friend. “Was he alone?” Then he leaned forward a little and said more quietly with a playful smile. “We suspect he may hide a lover from us.”

The faerie chuckled. “I don't know sweetheart. When I was leaving he just sat on a table. I left before seeing anything. You can ask my friend Lizzy. She was the one who took his order.”

“Oh. When can we find her?” Kit asked. 

“She starts at 11 p.m. Earlier if it's cloudy.”

She must be a vampire , Kit thought.

“Thank you so much,” Kit smiled at her one more time. “We deeply appreciate it.”

“You're welcome,” she chuckled again and left them alone.

Kit turned to Ty and caught him watching him.

“You see?”

Ty looked confused. “See what?”

“People are useful. You need witnesses.”

Unexpectedly, Ty smiled. It warmed up something in Kit's chest.

“I have never said I don't.”

“But you hinted at it.”

“I did not,” Ty said. Without taking his eyes off Kit he reached to his coat and pulled off his notebook. “I stated that people are often misleading.”

“But when I said people are important for a case, you said you're not sure you agree.”

“You also said a person is the key. With which I'm not sure I agree. I didn't say a person can't or isn't important.”

Kit exhaled. Damn , he thought. He is good.

“Good. You win. This time.”

Ty shook his head with a smile. He started to write something on the open notebook in front of him. Probably the information the faerie told them.

After a few minutes their meals arrived. Onion omelet and chipped potatoes. Ty barely looked at his food. At some point he finished writing and took the fork for the potatoes.

“So,” Kit said after swallowing a bite from the omelet. “If you're Sherlock Holmes then who am I?”

“What do you mean?” Ty glanced at him.

“Well,” Kit slowly cut out another bite from his food. “You and Livvy are a team. And you're Sherlock. I can't be a Sherlock with you. I'm not her. So I probably need another name.” 

“Good point,” Ty said. He looked thoughtful while he chewed. “How do you wanna be called then?”

Kit was caught off guard a little. He expected Ty to dismiss it or leave it for later.

“I haven't thought about it,” Kit admitted and slowly moved an omelet piece from one side of the plate to the other.

“We can think about it later,” Ty said. “My sister can help us with that.”

“You mean Livvy?”

“No,” Ty said, looking around the restaurant. “My other sister, Dru.”

Kit blinked at him. “How many siblings do you have?”

“Three sisters and three brothers,” Ty said and took a potato piece in his mouth.

“Whoa,” Kit said, forgetting the food in front of him. “Big family.”

“Indeed.”

Kit wondered what it would be like to have so many relatives. So many brothers and sisters. People close to you, to thrust, to be sure they would have your back. 

His father's voice rang in his head. And more people to run away with. Harder to get away. Harder to live with.

The food's taste in Kit's mouth turned into ash. He lost his appetite. Carefully left on the fork and the knife in the plate. 

Ty didn't seem to notice Kit's inner thought for which he was glad.

“The woman,” Ty said quietly. “The one faerie that sat after we came. She's a regular.”

“How would you know?” unconsciously, Kit leaned forward to hear what Ty had to say.

“Nancy, the waitress, didn’t ask her for her order. She even didn’t give her a menu. She directly put a coffee and a muffin in front of her. And the woman called Nancy by name - they know each other.”

“Impressive,” Kit murmured inattentively. “So, you want to talk with her?”

“Well,” Ty shrugged. “A few minutes ago - yes. Now, when we know Ragnor was here at nighttime, at the end of Nancy’s shift, I’m not sure she’d be useful.”

Kit rose up. “Let's find out.”

After a few minutes in which Kit started a conversation with her about borrowing the salt, he returned to their table with a salt shaker. He signed, disappointed.

“Nothing,” Kit said. “She had no idea what I'm talking about. And thought I'm just flirting with her.” 

“Were you?”

“What?” Kit blinked.

“Flirting with her,” Ty said, not taking his eyes off the notebook in front of him.

“Well,” Kit felt a little uncomfortable. “Yes, I kind of did. But it was just for the sake of the case. I'm not… interested in her that way.” 

Ty glanced at Kit's face for a few seconds then returned to writing in his notebook. Kit didn't notice. He was suddenly anxious that Ty would think of him as a flirting careless man. 

“Sometimes,” Kit started, carefully picking his words. “I flirt with people to get what I want. When I was in my early teens - to get away with something.”

Ty curiously gave him a glance.

“Did you have to do it often?”

“Well,” Kit said thoughtfully. “No, no that often. But I did it anyway. I… I think I liked to give strangers pieces of me that are… safe to give. And gender doesn't matter to me anyway.” Nothing too personal. Nothing long. Only a flirt, a few minutes of other people's time. The only kind of relationship Kit could afford.

“I can see why people like you,” Ty said, rolling the pen in his hands. “You're a rather charming man.”

Kit couldn't help but laugh.

Ty frowned.

“Did I say something out of place?”

Kit shook his head. “No, no. It's just that I don't think I'm charming. Or that people like me . ”

"Charm" was an abstract idea for him. He may pass for good looking but he didn't think of himself as "charming". Charm meant power. It attracted people to you. It made them like you. 

Kit didn't make people like him. He let them make an idea for him in their heads and allowed them to believe it. This wasn't a charm. It was lying.

Ty arched an eyebrow.

“Well. I would say I like you,” then he returned his gaze back at his notebook, adding something to the already written text.

His words caught Kit completely off-guard. He was holding his fork and it just levitated in space. 

Kit didn't know how to react. No one before had said something like that to him. He knew Ty probably said it to make him feel better. But something made him think Ty Blackthorn didn't say things he doesn't mean.

“Anyway,” Ty said and closed his notebook. “We're done here.”

“Really? What about questioning the waitress Lizzy?”

“We will return here after sunset for this,” Ty said. “But now we can do something more useful with our time.”

Kit felt dread in his stomach. He couldn't stay after dark. Or could he? Would his father notice? He always did. 

Should he tell Ty? No, no, he was going to figure something out.

“What are we going to do now?” he asked, hoping Ty didn't notice anything strange.

He looked at the watch on his hand.

“We will meet my sister. Dru.”

To be continued...

[squishmallow36]

Keeper of the Lost Prepositions - Eighteen

Word count: 1.9k

Tw: oh stars fitz is feeling like an inadequate mess today

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @ichor-on-my-hands @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @snowflakewolves @poppinspop @crystallinewalker @uni-seahorse-572 @tiergan-andrin-alenefar @books-over-boys @florida-llama-46 @when-wax-wings-melt @k00laidcrush @bowlcut-boyfriends @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizznee @jamesdeangf

On Ao3 or below the cut!

    I’m not entirely sure what happened. One second, I’m watching some human movie with Dex, and the next it’s like I’m watching a memory.

    All the bubbles and thinking caps make me think that it’s after an exam, either finals or midterms, but I’m in my white Level Six uniform.

    My stomach is so knotted, I bet Keefe would be able to feel my emotions from here.

    Wait—.

    Keefe’s here. At Foxfire.

    I know that shouldn’t be such a revelation, but when you run away with a letter saying that you’ll never see each other again, you kinda lose that right. 

    He sees me wandering around over here and waves me over, where he’s standing with Sophie.

    She looks different, somehow. I figure it’s because she no longer looks at me with so many secrets, until I notice her and Keefe’s clasped hands, barely visible from being nearly hidden behind her back.

    I want to get angry, which is always my first reaction to everything. Just one of the many reasons I’m not good enough.

    But as I look deeper, I realise that I’m not angry at Sophie. Or Keefe, for that matter. 

    I’m angry at myself. I lost my opportunity with the prettiest, most powerful girl in Foxfire, if not the Lost Cities.

    I had my chance and I blew it.

    The little voice in the back of my head is trying to tell me that we would have been a Bad Match, which is unacceptable for maintaining the Vacker Legacy, but that little voice can—.

    I’m not going to finish that sentence, but it knows what it can do.

    I hear the parents being released into the sea of students, and I whip around, searching for mine.

    So I can know how badly I failed this term.

    I can feel the knots of dread and panic pulling themselves tighter in my stomach, which isn’t unexpected for me on exam days, but I know that it’s not going to have a good outcome.

    Considering everything with the Neverseen, I’m sure I haven’t studied enough, and I can’t just coast on a photographic memory like some people. 

    I manage to find Dad in the crowd, and he doesn’t look too disappointed…

    But maybe that’s Biana getting top of her class or something cushioning the blow that his only son that he’s still willing to claim as his own has failed out of the only noble school in the Lost Cities. 

    So there’s no way I can make it into the nobility, and I’ll never live up to what everyone expects of me. 

    Dad’s eyes meet mine and a flicker of something darts across his face. Not quite disappointment, but nearly there. I doubt even an empath could pinpoint it exactly.

    It’s so brief, I probably imagined it, I tell myself, believing it about as much as I trusted Alvar had changed when he lost his memories.

    When Dad hands me my scorecard—we have a tradition of writing it down because you should be able to experience it on your own, part of the Vacker philosophy that you’ll be on your own in the real world, so you better get used to it early—I panic, shutting my eyes. Too terrified to see how much I failed. 

    Biana squeals from somewhere behind me, even though I think we all knew that she would do well. She’s always fulfilled her expectations better than I have, and then goes beyond that.

    She’s the youngest regent ever with extensive control of her ability.

    And what am I? Just a probably-failed cognate with barely noteworthy telepathy.

    I gather my thoughts and pluck up the courage to flip over my scorecard.

    And…

    My stomach drops out from beneath me.

    My lowest was a ninety-one. I’ve never gotten that low in my life.

    In Universe, the session I thought I did best, aside from telepathy. Tiergan won’t let me fail out of Foxfire, so unless my inadequate telepathy becomes too obvious, I don’t have to worry.

    So the only hundred I got doesn’t even count.

    Aside from that, I got ninety-fives in Alchemy and Elvin History, a ninety-six in P.E., ninety-sevens in Metaphysics and Multispecial Studies, and a ninety-eight in Elementalism.

    Someone taps on my shoulder, and I whip around to find Keefe, smirking more than usual. 

    I didn’t know that was possible.

    And, yes, I can tell the difference.

    “So how badly did Wonderboy humiliate all of us?” he asks jokingly, but it hit a nerve.

    I crinkle my scorecard, so it doesn’t fall to the floor as I jam it into Keefe’s palm. I may or may not have muttered some words that will get my mouth washed out with soap as I find a dark corner to hide.

    Maybe I’ll stay there for a few hundred years.

    Dex finds me within a few minutes, and before he can try to convince me that my scores are still good, I tell him, “Go away, son of a Bad Match.”

    Well, maybe not in such nice words, but you get the idea.

    “Normally that would bother me, but I know you’re just trying to do exactly that, so you’re stuck with me,” he replies, sitting down beside me.

    “Are you going to get on with all the jokes about how I always have to be so perfect?” I ask, burying my head in my hands.

    “What? I just saw you in the corner, and figured there was a reason, and wanted to see what I can do to help.”

    I peek out from between my fingers. “Really? You didn’t see my scores? I thought Keefe would be screaming it from the rooftops.”

    He gave me a soft smile, showing just enough of his dimples that you can’t help wanting to make him smile more fully. “Technically if Keefe was screaming from the rooftops, then I wouldn’t have seen your scores, but I have neither seen nor heard anything about them. Really.”

    With that, a tear streaks down my cheek, but I scrub it away before Dex notices, or so I think.

    He wraps his arms around me, softly at first, waiting for me to snap at him, but I can’t manage to muster up the energy for that.

    I close my eyes as I bury my head into Dex’s shoulder, and when I blink my eyes open again, I find myself in Dex’s room, groggy with sleep.

    I give my eyes a few seconds to come into focus, and I’m in much of the same position as my dream. Without thinking, I bury my head into Dex’s shoulder a little deeper, and then realise what I’m doing and jolt away.

    “Sorry. You fell asleep here, and I didn’t want to wake you up, so I let you stay where you are. Then I heard you swearing in your sleep and you started crying so I...sorry. Sorry. I understand if you hate me.”

    I can’t exactly form words right now, but when I can again, it won’t be pretty. But, I’m not angry at Dex. I’m angry at myself.

    I can’t let my imperfections show, and I definitely shouldn’t dump my stupid problems on other people.

    Grizel reforms from the shadows as I stand up and dig out my home crystal,

    “Don’t tell anyone. About any of this. Not. A. Word.” I manage to choke out as Grizel and I glitter away.

    I can see she turns around and mouths something to Dex, although I didn’t catch what.

    I storm up to my room, irritated that it’s the middle of the night and that means I can’t have a satisfying slam of my door because I’ll probably wake someone up.

    Biana appears in the corner, saying, “Somebody was out late today.”

    I’m done for the day, so I didn’t give her more of a response than a glare.

    “Well, you’re no fun,” Biana pouts, but, thankfully, leaving me alone.

    I flop backwards onto my bed, glaring at the ceiling. I realise that being angry is yet another reason why I’m not as perfect as everyone expects me to be.

    Which makes me angrier.

    Which makes me want to break something.

    But then I’ll have to replace that something, and I don’t honestly believe anyone else goes through this many Imparters by the time they’re...however old I am.

    Level six. Let’s just leave it there.

    An exception to the rule is Dex, but he dismantles most of them when he’s working on whatever, though.  

    I look through my sheets for Mr. Snuggles. He’s the best way to throw things without breaking anything. Usually. Except for that one time when he hit that vase and started a chain reaction of other things being broken… 

    After what feels like an hour of looking, but was really probably a minute, or maybe less, I remember that I left him at Rimeshire. 

    I curse under my breath, because I doubt Dex will want to see me again anytime soon, and he may have already given Mr. Snuggles to the triplets to destroy.

    My Imparter buzzes with a message, which I already know is from Dex because he’s the only person that would send a message instead of a hail. It said, If you want me to bring Mr. Snuggles over, I will. Let me know. Just tap the reply button at the bottom, type your message, and then hit send. -Dex

    His being nice to me after I was such a jerk to him just makes me angrier, and it takes everything I have to not chuck it into my door and let it shatter into a million little pieces.

    It’s actually easier to throw than goblin throwing stars. That, or I have more experience. 

    Biana opens my door, and I’m not going to deny that I am ready to burn those innocent little ears off, but she just gives me another pan of Mallowmelt without saying anything.

    That’s probably the nicest thing she’s done for me...maybe ever.

    Until she gives me a blue sparkly dragon, who looks suspiciously like Mr. Snuggles.

    “Don’t tell me Dex figured out how to make an elixir to change the colour of Mr. Snuggles.”

    “This is his sister, Miss Snuggles.” She shakes her head like I should have known that all along, but playfully, and somehow—it’s probably the dragon—it helps me get ever so slightly less furious. “She’s Lady Sassyfur’s best friend, so be nice.”

    “Did Dex tell you anything or is this an actual case of being nice?” I ask, already pretty sure of the answer.

    She snorted. “Obviously Dex. All I know is that you left in a hurry and forgot Mr. Snuggles, but he didn’t think he would survive coming over here himself, so he asked me to see what I could do. And, uh, you know.” She gestured at Miss Snuggles, clearly running out of words for the day.

    “Why are both of you still awake? It’s like one in the morning.”

    That resulted in a full laugh. “Fitzipoo, I’m going to tell you something that you should have learned a long time ago. People don’t usually go to bed at nine. Or get up at sunrise. Or get a full eight hours of sleep.”

     She leaves after that bombshell that I already knew but thoroughly tried to ignore, leaving me to process that, but Miss Snuggles is really soft, and I can’t run on four hours of sleep.

    Slowly, I drift into sleep again, dreaming of a continent where the entire population is made up of thousands of stuffed animal dragons, in every colour of the rainbow.

[bagadew]

The Great Ace Attorney Playthrough: The Case of the Unbreakable Speckled Band (Part 3b)

Last Time: After being discovered in Miss Pavlova’s cabin, things didn’t go as badly for us as we thought they would. In fact we got to dance around with Herlock Sholmes the Himbo Detective and discovered that Susato (and presumably someone at Capcom) really knows a lot about snakes, Nikolina has a pet kitten called Darka, and Kazuma apparently died by tripping over said kitten in a tragic accident. However, while it would probably be the best explanation for everyone involved, I’m not entirely sure it’s true as it still doesn’t explain the fact the crime scene was clearly tampered with.

Well it seems that, like me, Susato’s not entirely convinced Nikolina’s telling us the truth.

In fact, it looks like she’s sure of it.

You know, I didn’t expect to feel conflicted about finding Kazuma’s killer, but I kind of do...

Like, I came into this fully expecting to feel hatred and anger towards whoever did this. I was expecting to confront some hateful villain on a par with Miss Brett or Manfred Von Karma and to take satisfaction and vengeance in taking them down... but this isn’t that. There’s no conspiracy, no big untouchable threat, there’s just an abused and scared little girl who probably killed Kazuma because she thought he was going to kill her.

I don’t expect to feel good about taking Nikolina down. I think it’ll feel like when we had to go for Adrian Andrews... only this time she’s actually guilty.

I don’t have anything to add to Susato’s speech, other than it feels important to put it up, and it seems like a good show of who Susato is as a person.

You know, I’ve had a little difficulty pinning Susato down until now, but I think I’ve finally got her. Susato Mikotoba is a woman who believes in truth and justice, and will go to great lengths to reveal it... even if it hurts far more than the lie ever did.

Herlock’s been quiet for a while now, and I don’t think he’s still reeling from the snake business. It’s difficult to read his expression with his hat like that, so I can’t tell if he’s running through the crime scene in his mind, or if Susato’s words have struck a cord with him.

Wait WHAT?

Ah, ok. Herlock basically been using this whole thing as a distraction, and was planning to give everything over to Scotland Yard once we arrived home so they could deal with any ‘outstanding issues’.

(Also he’s handcuffed us again)

It hadn’t quite clicked before, but no one’s actually considered what Ryunosuke must be feeling. His best friend has just been murdered, and all almost everyone has done, has been to accuse him of killing him. Even among Hosonaga, and later Susato, Ryunosuke hasn’t got to really talk about his feelings, and I’m not sure if anyone’s actually given him the opportunity to do so.

With the next stop looming ever closer, I know we don’t exactly have the time to talk right now, but I hope Ryunosuke gets the chance once this is all done.

Ok, let’s do this.

Let’s run through what we know doesn’t fit so far:

1) The writing in Russian: not only is it in the wrong language but Kazuma died instantly, meaning that there’s next to no way he wrote this himself, and absolutely no way he did it if he died tripping over a kitten.

2) The ships log has been left blank from after 2am, meaning that who ever was probably in on it.

3) Half of Darka’s bell somehow found it’s way in Nikolina’s bin, meaning someone must have taken it from the crime scene.

4) If someone went into the cabin (which they must have done) they have to have pressed the emergence alarm after they left.

Let’s start with the biggest contradiction shall we? The photographic print.

Oh Nikolina, that’s not the issue here.

Ryunosuke’s got it.

Well done Ryunosuke.

I’m trying to work out what this could be. The bell half perhaps? But that’s something that was taken away surely.

Ok, so just something that proves it wasn’t an accident. Well I’m not too sure if it’s what I’m supposed to be looking for here, but I’ll present the mark on the floor and see what happens.

Oh thank god!

Well, not exactly Hosonaga, while it’s true that the tripped kitten explanation does explain how the bell was broken, it doesn’t explain why half of it made its way out of Kazuma’s room and into Nikolina’s bin.

Exactly Ryunosuke!

So, now that we’ve successfully proved someone was at the crime scene, let’s start working out who could have done it.

(TBH I still think that, while Nikolina killed Kazuma, Stroganoff was the person who tampered with the crime scene. The writing just feels a bit too calculated to be Nikolina, especially if she killed Kazuma out of fear.)

Ah, I was wondering when you’d have enough Stroganoff.

He’s basically saying that we already know I (Ryunosuke) was in the room, and that if what I’m saying is true then it has to be me as the door was bolted from the inside.

However, as I (both Ryunosuke and me) have zero knowledge of Russian, it’s impossible for me to have written the message. What we do have however, is knowledge as to how the door was bolted from the outside, which we must be getting close to revealing.

That’s... a really good question actually. Why didn’t they just take the whole thing?

Ah, I see. I was looking at this from the eyes of someone from the modern era of electric lights, rather than with the eyes of someone who lives with jolly old Victorian lighting. The floor wasn’t visible enough to make out half of a cats bell.

Shit... she’s their kid...

You know, while we still don’t know exactly how Nikolina came onboard this ship, I’d kind of assumed that the sailors (or perhaps someone affiliated with them) had found her trying to stow away or hiding down by the docks, and taken pity on her and decided to help her out. Because, I thought, there was no way Nikolina would reach out to strangers for help, given how scared she is. But the answer is that they weren’t strangers. They were family.

That’s why they’ve all been ready to risk everything without hesitation, even if it means covering up a murder. She’s their kid, and I’m about to make them watch it all be for nothing.

Yeah, Ryunosuke... it is...

(I love the way these spirits combine together. Nikolina looks even smaller and younger next to Stroganoff, and her hiding behind him while his fighting stance partly shields her does a good job of showing how things are for them right now. It makes me think of images of cornered animals protecting their young.)

Because he’s lying, but then I think you’ve already figured that out.

My time has come.

Susato, it’s ok. I’ve got this, you don’t need to make us look bad by suggesting things you know aren’t true.

DON’T PASS THE BUCK TO ME!!!

(Again, me an Rynosuke operate on the same wavelength now)

OH MY GOD, THE HIMBO DETECTIVE MADE A PROPER DEDICATION ALL ON HIS OWN!!!

HELL YEAH I DO!!!

Look at him go! He’s even using Susato’s fancy words to explain it!

And there goes the bolt on the door!

Now we’re explaining that the emergency stop button can be pressed at various different points around the ship, including, crucially, just outside these two cabins.

Oh Susato, you know as well as I do that this whole things had Herlock’s fingerprints all over it.

(Important information, along with not being trusted with a pet, do not trust Herlock Sholmes with any machinery or control panels)

To be honest this is the appropriate reaction. We’re at sea Herlock! Don’t mess with the thing that stands between us and drowning!

Herlock ‘But Did You Die’ Sholmes: Now lets not lose sight of the fact I got us evidence.

And the worst part is that he’s right.

Not if you drugged everyone!

I think it’s finally time to bring up the blank ships log.

Ok team, Herlock’s in charge of our excuses from now on!

We’re going through the fact that the log was blank, which with Stroganoff’s meticulous ritual of writing: Nothing to Report, every half hour on the dot, means that there definitely was something to report.

We sure are suggesting that Susato!

Not if you were drugged Hosonaga!

HE MADE ANOTHER PROPER DEDUCTION!!! I’M SO PROUD!!!

Ok, have the drugs finally worn off on Herlock’s brain, because he’s saying really smart things now. Or is it just that he’s taking things seriously rather than using this whole thing as a distraction?

Susato’s got it too!

So, because it’s such a large scale job, it couldn’t have been pulled off by any one person, meaning that the entire crew must have been in on it.

(Poor drugged Hosonaga, they really identified you weren’t one of them the second you set foot on this ship didn’t they?)

Now see, the problem with this strategy, is that while Bif might not be happy about the rest of his crew getting into trouble, I feel like this is a Murder on the Orient Express scenario, in the sense that everyone involved fully acknowledge the risks and came into this prepared to go down if necessary.

Yeah, he’s not happy, but he’s not cracking.

In fact, I’m not sure anything could cause him to crack. He is the one person’s standing between Nikolina and (potentially) death. I can’t see any way he’s going to back down.

I understand now, Herlock wasn’t aiming for him. Because they’re Nikolina’s family too.

It seems to be just like we suspected. Nikolina asked them to help her escape, and so, as one, the crew agreed to help her. They put sleeping drugs in the chicken so no one would notice what was happening, and got one of their comrades on the shore of Shanghai to take her to the ship at midnight.

Here’s the problem we have now though. Now she’s covering for them. Even if I’m wrong about Stroganoff or another member of the crew writing the message, the ships log means that they either knew or found out, and I can’t imagine they would have sat by and done nothing.

Wait a second though. We met Nikolina in her cabin, which means she must have got back inside some way or another. She couldn’t have done that if she was the one who pressed the alarm. I think this could be a way to establish someone must have helped her.

They’re still fighting, and to be honest I didn’t expect anything else. They’re both protecting each other now and it’s going to take nothing but evidence to make them budge.

I’m going to be perfectly honest Herlock, you’ve kind of lost me.

In fact I think you’ve lost most of the room...

ITS TIME FOR DANCE OF DEDUCTION 3: I WAS HOPPING I’D HAVE UNTIL THE NEXT CASE TO THINK UP A NAME!

Ryunosuke, don’t play dumb. We must dance!

(Or observe, that’s good too)

Right, well we’ve worked out Stroganoff was the one who did the fabrication, so we should probably focus on him first.

Got you.

To be honest I’m at a loss as to how he got some of the ink round there. Perhaps he knocked the ink over when he was sorting the crime scene out.

Or perhaps it was on his finger and he accidentally rubbed it over when he held his hands like this?

... I thought so...

:(

So, just after one in the morning, Bif was patrolling the corridor when a scared an pail Nikolina came up to him desperate for help. He followed her to Kazuma’s cabin and found him on the floor. Apparently the event before went on like Nikolina said, only instead of luring Darka through the vent, she went next door because she was worried about the sounds she’d heard through the vent.

... he’s still shielding her isn’t he?

I think Susato knows it too.

The problem is, that Nikolina’s following Bif’s lead. Perhaps if we had the chance to talk to her alone we’d know we were getting the truth, but not with Bif there. And to be honest I’m not sure I can really blame either of them for that.

I’m not 100% sure to be honest. And I don’t think I will be until this case is closed.

I’ll take that as not being done then.

I have no idea...

(His fist was closed, could that be the issue?)

(Thank you god of video games!)

OPEN WITH THAT NEXT TIME HERLOCK!

Yeah, we’re not going to be able to guess!

Nikolina’s earring!

Which he couldn’t have had if he was dead when she came in!

(Stroganoff’s face seems to suggest that we’ve reached the final curtain.)

I don’t think either of them can explain away this.

(Again, lead with the earring next time Herlock)

Things are in the right order now.

He let her in. He thought she was Hosonaga so he let her in.

It’s all going fine right now, but we know how this ends.

Of course he did, just by looking at Nikolina you can see she’s been through a lot, and besides, Kazuma has a secret all of his own.

Here we go. Whatever it might be, the thing that triggered Nikolina’s survival instinct is coming.

Ah shit...

You know, since the moment Darka disappeared through that vent, I’m not sure things were ever going to end differently. Kazuma was always going to open the door, he was always going to help the frightened girl he found there, and being the incredibly quick man that he was, he was always going to recognize her.

And Kazuma was always going to want to look into the situation, and that was always going to tip Nikolina into a panic. And then sooner or later she was going to lash out in what seemed to her to be necessary self defence.

Here it is.

Oh!?

So this wasn’t the trigger. But then what was?

Oh no. He was going to get Ryunosuke from the wardrobe. The wardrobe Nikolina couldn’t possibly grasp the significance of, but that was right next to the bell cord.

(Also didn’t I say the captain was somehow to blame?)

(What do you guys say we chalk it up to him and put this whole business behind us?)

(And yes I do know that I’m stalling again)

... in a panic you struck out... and he stumbled... and hit his head on the way down...

I see, so Darka put him off balance first. And so when you pushed him he he hit his head on the bedpost.

Fear, adrenaline, and a lack of judgment due to stress and trauma. Perhaps if this had happened on any day other than the one where you’d just fled things would have been different, but maybe not. It’s hard to tell.

And we know the rest...

Stroganoff cleared away as much of Nikolina’s presence as he could find, and in doing so found Ryunosuke asleep in the wardrobe. It must have seemed like fate was giving him a stranger who could take the fall instead of his kid.

So Nikolina was the one who ‘cleared away’ the bell. That explain why some of it was left behind, and why it ended up in her bin. Stroganoff would probably have thrown it overboard.

What’s that?

I see, that’s a good question.

What he said about the inspector...

Oh dear.

Hosonaga, you were literally drugged at the time, and I’m still pretty sure you were set up to fail (which does raise the question of what would have happened to Kazuma if Nikolina hadn’t killed him)

Susato?

I see, she’s realized that he was going for Ryunosuke, thus slotting the final piece of this whole tragedy neatly into place.

(These two cases are really going all out in very different ways. The next one better let me relax and have fun Maskqu de Masque style. I’m not sure I can take much more of this.)

Here it comes, the unnecessariness of the whole murder.

:(

Yeah...

:((

Ryunosuke’s best friend has been murdered because of the misunderstandings of a child, and he’s been raked over the coals because of that. While it might not be the kindest thing to say for Nikolina, it’s an important thing to say for Ryunosuke, and I feel he’s justified in saying it.

In fact it would probably be a bad sign if he didn’t say this. He’s as much of a victim in this whole affair as anyone. I’m glad he’s at least getting an apology from Nikolina, even though it’s unfortunately gone past the point where that would be useful.

It’s finally over, and just as I predicted it doesn’t feel good.

HOSONAGA SATURO YOU HEAL LIKE A CHAMP!

‘It’s just a scratch’, you said.

‘Go to a hospital’, we cried.

‘No need, just give me a few hours to click my face back into position and pass me back my glasses lenses and I’ll be fine’

Hosonaga, you are unkillable and this is exactly why you’re superiors had to resort to shipping you out.

Ok, enough fun declaring Hosonaga to be our new god. Let’s go back to the serious and depressing business of Nikolina.

So, it seems like Nikolina will be handed over to Scotland Yard, and Herlock will sort things out with the immigrations office so she doesn’t have to go back to Russia.

Also the way they’re talking about her future means that she’s not going to be executed (thank god), which makes sense given that she committed manslaughter rather than murder. Whether or not she goes to prison will probably depend on the judge as, while she has the fact that she’s a white female child, she is also not English and speaks with a strong accent, and therefore, is going to be subjected to a lot of Xenophobia.

Hm?

Ah.

Again, I’m glad Ryunosuke’s getting these apologies.

Wait, are you sure Stroganoff? Like yeah, you’re not going to get done for murder, and the whole defending a kid thing will  play of pretty well in court (plus the man you accused wasn’t English and has a less white skin tone than you). But you are also a Russian man with a strong accent and you won’t be able to fall back on being a child or let the evils of sexism and xenophobia fight each other.

Well at least we’re free again, even if we’re in a worst place than when we started.

You know he will Ryunosuke. And given how well he was defending her till now, I think he might just succeed.

But we have to get to England to make Kazuma’s dream come true!

Herlock, can you come to us again in our hour of need? I know we have a lot of them but...

:(

:(

(I swear to god this game is shooting for my jugular)

We’re holding Kazuma’s sword, aka, his spirit. Please don’t make me let it go game.

Is it too much to ask for them to hug? I think they both need it.

Hold us Hosonaga.

(Though not me (Eleanor). Instinct tells me we must remain two meters apart so our weird lungs don’t accidentally take each other out.)

(I cannot be the person who killed Hosonaga)

(And yes I am trying  to lighten the mood with my talk of genetic lung conditions because I’m aware it’s only going to get sadder)

(Told you)

There was nothing you could have done Hosonaga, and it’s become my own private mission now to find a way to prove that to you.

:(((

Game are we going to have to sail to England on Hosonaga’s guilt?

I’m aware that you’ve got a whole fun game lined up over there, but is this really the only way?

Can’t we just go to Japanfornia instead, track down Amy Fey (if she’s even been born yet) and get Kazuma back on our team?

No... ok...

Exactly!

WHAT! WHY AM I BACK IN HANDCUFFS!??

HERLOCK SHOLMES COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW, THIS IS ONLY A LITTLE BIT FUNNY!

He’s amusing himself at least...

(You know what, I’ve decided right now that this is a family friendly blog, so no, I’m not going to say what I’m thinking. You can’t make me.)

Also read the room Herlock, the three of us were having a moment!

Nice save.

Ryunosuke’s trying to throw himself under the buss and send Susato and Herlock and Hosonaga off to go live out the rest of the game without him.

Sorry Ryunosuke, but you’re the protagonist. We can’t leave without you.

That’s it! Ryunosuke, you’re naturally good at lawyering! It’s time for you to take up Kazuma’s mantle!

Am I chopped liver to you Susato?

Are we doing a studying montage on the ship over?

Yes Ryunosuke!

Training montage Hosonaga!

You can help! Teach me how to be the crime scene thief and not give a damn!

(Actually on second thoughts, maybe you should sit this one out and offer moral support instead)

Said Hosonaga, knowing that I wasn’t.

(*Eye of the tiger starts to play*)

I CAN LEARN ENOUGH TO WING IT HOSONAGA!

HELL YEAH!!!

Oh good, I’d forgotten about Kazuma’s morally ambiguities loose end.

(Probably because every character I fancy has one of them and it’s no longer anything to write home about.)

Let’s do this Susato, me an you all the way!

Hosonaga? You cool too?

Wait, now is not the time to be sensible Hosonaga! Remember when we got Miss Brett? That was against protocol and it meant we got to see her take off via her big hat! (Although we didn’t get justice and it ended with you being shipped out, but let’s not dwell on that.)

Hosonaga normally (while shovelling three tables worth of crockery into his bag): Nothing will get in my way! I’ll lay my life on the line if I have to! I will strait up ignore the rules if I think they are unjust!

Hosonaga when Herlock is present: I have never broken a rule in my life, nor would I ever do so. I am the most sensible and down to earth man you will ever meet, please ignore the way I am dressed right now.

What happened Hosonaga, did you watch me and Herlock doing our dance of deduction and immediately decided someone had to be the adult and it might as well be you?

Or... did watching Herlock roll around on the floor and cling like a limpet to the walls make you wonder that this is how you come across?

Because to be honest you were loudly declaring yourself the Crime Scene Thief just last trial... so I don’t think you’ll ever be able to create too much contrast in our eyes.

Come on Crime Scene Thief!

Herlock’s aiming right for Hosonaga’s canonically shit schooling with those words.

Remember who you are Hosnaga! You’re the badass who lay his life on the line for us!

(I like how much Herlock’s talking Ryunoskue up, I guess this makes up for the fact he handcuffed us again for the asthenic)

Hooray!!! Hosonaga’s taking us to Disneyland England!

“Hello, this is Saturo Hosanaga. Just calling to say that I’ve done it again... yes I understand that my breaking the rules makes you sad, but I simply will not stop... well you see, they’re unfair and heavily biased in your favour. Also we both know if you could have stopped me you would have done so long ago. Goodbye.”

Capcom! Stop trying to make me get to England off of Hosonaga’s guilt!

Allow me to come with you, or at the very least please borrow the KBS (Kazuma’s big sword) for protection.

Goodbye Hosonaga... until we meet again...

But (and I need to make this very clear Capcom gods) not my mentor!

The KBS!

We will guard this with our lives!

(Karuma huh? That name sounds faintly familiar.)

(Ok Google, now play Eye Of The Tiger)

WE ARN’T DOING THIS AGAIN CAPCOM! PUT THOSE DEATH FLAGS DOWN!

Oh thank god, she just wants to be even!

Ryunosuke, are you sure you’re even able to do that?

You heard the lady Ryunosuke. (And no this totally isn’t because I want to see if you’re even able to do it.)

Booo

Herlock, I love you, but...

KICK HIS ASS SUSATO!!!

WHY ME!!!

Poor sweet Ryunosuke...

Ah, I see it’s time to be sad again.

Oh Kazuma, what were you up to?

Anyways, that’s it for The Adventure of the Unbreakable Speckled Band. Join me next time for The Adventure of the Runaway Room!

[hetalia-has-a-secretary]

allies + eje human au headcanons

I had to look up what eje meant, which was Axis in Spanish 🌮 (there's no sombrero emoji, and I'm mad about it). This is mostly a college Human AU, but there's still some future stuff in there. Enjoy the longest list of Headcannons in one post lol

Human AU Hetalia!

Allies:

America:

Has rich parents, but doesn't tell anyone, and somehow his big house that everyone parties at doesn't give it away.

The only person who knows is Japan, and that's specifically because Japan's dad works for America's dad.

Is a college student, hoping to go for some kind of music degree.

A first year.

Black T-shirt and jeans. Has a plaid button up for everyday of the month, usually has it tied around his hips.

Has like, one basic tux and refuses to wear anything but converse or airwalkers.

Space nerd #1, except he's more into what's beyond our boundaries, and loves the constellations.

One of the most popular kids, and no matter how hard you try he's not easy to hate.

Gives off dumb college kid energy even though he's one of the A+ students.

His glasses are for show. It was meant to be a rebellious thing since Canada use to get bullied about his own glasses, now it's just an esthetic.

Skate boards and plays the acoustic guitar in his free time.

Jeans are usually missing the knee section.

Once set off firecrackers in a metal trash can as a school prank.

England:

Last year of college, majoring in history after failing his cooking classes.

Graphic tee central. We are unsure how many he has but he's up to 43 different shirts worn on campus.

Usually has his earbuds in, listening to punk rock.

Has an ungodly amount of bracelets. His favorite one is a black snap bracelet with little pirate skulls.

Was practically raised by his older brothers.

Lives alone, but is secretly an amazing writer.

Has a Tumblr blog he writes spooky stuff on.

Top of his class, but can be a dummy if he's put on the spot.

France:

No one is sure how he's been allowed to take nothing but art classes. No English, or science, just art.

Is also a transfer student, he's probably the second richest thanks to daddy.

Is the school stud, despite not sleeping with a single soul, and is actually extremely nervous about dating, and is just more comfortable with playful flirting.

He wants to be a fashion designer, or Model. Mostly a Designer.

Loose shirts and tight pants.

Has a weird obsession with belt sashes.

Plays violin like a god, and is a senior.

China:

Another senior in college.

Had the unfortunate event of being in the same cooking class as England before Arthur decided to switch degrees.

Still hangs out with him and Japan.

One of the few who is taking advanced classes, and is literally everyone's tutor.

Going for a Degree in Cooking. Wants to be a head chef.

His parents are over seas, but he promised to get them to America as soon as he can.

He wears a lot of colorful shirts that is always tucked into his pants.

Most of which look like bowling shirts, but he likes to add little Chinese patches to them. Has a signature jean jacket that is overwhelmed with patches.

Has a panda beenie baby keychain, so everyone knows exactly who it belongs to when he losses his keys.

Very quick to panic, and hates to admit he's wrong.

Russia:

Third and final transfer student, along with Japan, and France.

Poor confused child is trying so hard.

He's kind of shy, and is fully aware his social akwardness creeps everyone out.

Almost cried the day America and Prussia adopted him into the cool kid circle.

His broken english is probably the biggest turn off for the people at school. It's why no one really talks to him, mostly because they can't figure out what he's saying most of the time.

Biggest sweetheart though, and is painfully smart, but do to the english thing he's stuck in the average classes, but China comes swooping in and his english gets almost fluent by his third year.

He doesn't own a single thing tech, minus a flip phone, but somehow knows all the hot keys on the computer to every program, and it's only because he's lazy about it and it's the funniest thing.

Space nerd #2 but knows more about the planets and can name every single moon, and knows the history of space discoveries by heart.

Secretly a hopeless romantic, and doesn't realize he reads England's blog.

Is pretty much a closet goth, but likes bright colors too much to be seen in all black.

Knows way to much about torture devices and learned very quickly that gets you out casted in a school setting.

Isn't upset that he doesn't have many friends, but somehow attracts all the little kids from the grade school.

He likes his northface sweater, and loose pants. But his shirts are pretty colorful, and he likes collecting shoelaces.

He spends a lot of time in the woodwork shop, creating amazing figures and such.

Canada:

I can feel the dissapointed stares of Matt not being a photographer. Welp, guess he also gets a degree in art then.

Second year, Because he skipped one year in college.

Clothing style is long sleeves and vests.

He likes feeling fancy, and owns an endless amount of beanies.

One of the few people who talks to Russia.

His locker has a snot ton of polar bear stickers that everyone stuck to it, and he loves it.

Is baby but can kick butt in the wrestling club after school.

Has a tiny white Pomeranian that he rescued from it's mother who wouldn't take care of it, probably because the puppy was the runt of the litter.

Has a Harley Davidson and it's been painted black with the aurora on it, making everyone think it was his non-existent girlfriend's or something. Now it's a running joke.

Axis:

Germany:

He's not a jock, but he's friends with them.

Military Dad.

Is usually found hanging out in the gymnasium on breaks. It's quiet and no one is going to bother him. Usually.

Senior, and so ready to get the heck out of college.

Ladies love him, but he really hates the attention, like please help him.

Style wise he's pretty basic, but really loves his camo print.

Has owned countless doggos, and only attracted so many girls the day he walked to school with a fluffy poodle that France Hijacked for the day.

Doesn't ever go to dances after the first one and everyone tried to get him drunk, to no avail.

Had out drank some of the dumber students to shut them up.

Can be mean if you persistently pester him for dumb stuff, especially if he's already said no.

He's into construction and is working on a degree in Construction Management.

Japan:

Exchange student number 3

Degree in technology is what he desires.

Style = Geek, but like a stylish geek.

Him and Canada are in photography class together.

Japan is also part of the cool kids, but only when they're about to do some dumb stunt, and need a camera man.

Doesn't mind, loves watching them make fools of themselves.

Has a rebellious streak, and tends to be a complete sass.

As soon as something seems to go bad, he gone. He's heading towards the door. Been in detention once, and that was it.

Why does everyone go to him for advice when china is literally down the hall?

Rich kid #3 and his parents are traditional and are having a crisis over their son's rebellious attitude.

Italy:

Is a first year, and is oddly enough, going for a degree in history.

Really likes antiques and old artsy stuff.

Has a few shared classes with France, and they pretty much own those classes.

Rivals America's charisma, but isn't as popular due to:

Being seen around France, and not doing dumb and entertaining crap like america.

Gets picked on a lot Because he doesn't understand you can't be nice to the Jock's girlfriend without everyone thinking your flirting, even though you just needed directions on your first day of school.

Germany is now his bodyguard and he was kind of like "???" But they get closer the longer they hangout.

Fancy shirt man, like hand me downs from his Italian father. So they're really nice, and a lot of eye melting patterns.

Gets attached to people easily, and is sensitive when he gets taken advantage of during assignments, but toughs through it because he has too.

Has two cats literally named Mona, and Lisa.

Has cried at least once at school because he's a soft guy, but he gets a thicker shell the older he gets and learns to just laugh off other people's stupidity.

Romano:

Protective older brother gooooo

Second year in school, and his first year made him want to eat brinks.

Doesn't know what degree he wants, but settled for a degree in cooking.

Shares his brother's shirts practically and it confuses everyone Because, didn't Feliciano wear that shirt last week?

Immediately thinks people don't know washing machines exist Because of this, so his sass factor is high up there.

Doesn't really have friends, and also does not care. He's a bit of a lone wolf and needed something to do.

The amount of not caring attitude contrasts his high grades and his teachers are painfully confused by it.

Will jokingly tell people to fight him at McDonald's, and almost fought someone but literally laughed, and suggested they got something to eat instead.

He's somehow, in a bizarre and unwanted sense, everyone's brother which is just...

No one understands him, but they like him, and he doesn't know why and it kind of bugs him.

He's usually in the front of the school daydreaming about, god only knows what...

Is the epitomy of the "she doesn't even go here" joke from mean girls, except he does go to that school.

Why did he need a degree? Oh yeah, Because work places don't care what kind of paper, you just need a paper.

Prussia:

Rival friendship with america, and Russia has had to step in to break up petty fights.

He's not sure why he's part of the popular kids since he's so fricken chaotic and obnoxious. Or so he thinks.

Genuinely a sweet guy in his last year, desperately wanting a degree in mathematics. Like, no one understands why mathematics until he starts pulling card tricks from his pocket that deals with it, and blows everyone's mind.

He is also head of the newspaper club.

Has the style of a teenage band member and will not apologize for it.

Has hijacked the schools speaker system to blast evanescence, which gave a huge boost to his friendship with Russia, since the big fellow shares Prussia's taste in music.

Can eat a whole ghost pepper without batting an eyelash, and this is only Headcannon and a worthy note because he became sick the day after and the whole school had "in loving memory of Gilbert's stomach" posters all over the place.

Teacher's are very much done with his harmless antics. They're noticably stupid pranks, but only to the point it's annoying.

Like he managed to make all the teacher's computer backgrounds as Brad Pitt wearing a sombrero. There's no joke, and no punchline. It's just a poorly Photoshopped sombrero?

Races his brother to school every morning, and afternoon. Cops have stopped them at least twice due to other bystanders getting freaked out.

Him and Romano don't mix well, but try to leave each other alone.

[starter-library]

「MONTGOMERY RICKY BY RICKY MONTGOMERY STARTERS」

This December

“Only I my darkest moments can I see the light”

“Well, this December I’ll remember”

“I’m alright if you’re alright and I’m okay if you’re okay”

“It’s just a little bit lonely in this home”

“It’s always colder on your own”

“I wanna see you with your head wide open, empty on the ground”

Line without a hook

“I don't really give a damn about the way you touch me when we're alone”

“You can hold my hand if no one's home”

“Do you like it when I'm away?”

“If I went and hurt my body, baby would you love me the same?”

“I can feel all my bones coming back and I'm craving motion”

“You're a pond and I'm an ocean”

“All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around”

“Oh, baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you”

“I need you here to stay”

“Was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden?”

“Oh, and if I could take it all back I swear that I would pull you from the tide”

“Darling, when I'm fast asleep I’ve seen this person watching me”

“Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Tell me, is it worth it?”

“Because there is something, and there is nothing there is nothing in between”

"She's a, she's a lady, and I am just a boy"

Cabo

“Do what you can with me and do it quietly”

“I think I found a place for us, it’s down by the garden after dark, it’s in my arms”

“I cannot say a word to you like this”

“I wanna see you but I gotta resist”

Don’t Know How

“I wanna be your little mister now”

“I wanna be the one that puts you out”

“I wanna do it but I don’t know- I don’t know how”

“I wanna be the one that tells you no, I wanna be a place that you can’t go”

“No one knows if you’re a heartbreaker”

“You can’t say if you’re a life taker cause you can’t tell if you’re not”

“I wanna be the one that makes you stay”

“I wanna be a word you say at night”

“I wanna be a feeling you can’t fight”

Last Night

“I thought you’d care to notice me. I just want you to notice me”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Don’t know what id do without the words I hear right now”

“I’m sorry I’ve been gone and I’m coming home”

“Last night, I was fine.”

“Last night, I was fine. Dropping lines and getting mine”

“Isn’t it so interesting the way he branded all that he touched?”

“Somewhere in my heart of hearts I knew it all along but I’m still finding out”

“Since the start it was all planned out and always hard”

California

“I’m headed back for my shot at the family dream”

“I am just a boy, but with a little bit of culture, I’ll go for”

“I want the world to know I’m not just a photograph”

“Some way, someday you’ll know my name”

“I’m not too good to say “I love you””

“Why must we always make love from the back?”

“My eyes are up here and my legs can move”

“I am just a girl but with a little motivation, I’ll go far”

“I want the world to know that I’m not just a piece of trash”

“Art is dead and artists killed it”

“I want the world to know that I’m not just a piece of ass”

My Heart is Buried in Venice

“Come rest your bones next to me and toss your thoughts to the sea”

“I’ll pull up each of our anchors so we can get lost, you and me”

“My heart is buried in Venice, hidden beneath all my worries and doubt”

“My heart is buried in Venice waiting for someone to take it home”

“Even when you try to hide it a smile creeps out from your teeth”

“I never thought I would have to say I’m sorry for anyone but me”

“Say what you mean”

“Tell me the truth or tell me you’re through”

“Don’t leave me to breathe”

“Don’t leave me to bleed for someone who chose to leave me be”

Mr Loverman

“I'm headed straight for the floor”

“The alcohol's served its tour and it's headed straight for my skin”

“I'm Mr. Loverman and I miss my lover, man”

“The ways in which you talk to me have me wishing I were gone”

“The ways that you say my name have me running on and on”

“I've shattered now”

“I'm spilling out upon this linoleum ground”

“I'm reeling in my brain again”

“What am I 'sposed to do without you?”

Get Used to It

“My fingers used to dance on every key now they’re just pieces of meat”

“Used to go to university, used to be the head of varsity”

“Used to live inside this box with everyone noticing me”

“I used to leave the evening feeling right”

“I’ll be with you each and every night chasing the horizon in your eyes”

“You want a garden but you got a balcony”

“You’re always looking for some company”

“You want a say, well what you got to say?”

“Give in to me, give in to me and see”

“Apropos, you’re beautiful”

“Get used to it, get used to it.”

Snow

“I’m ready and I’m down to forget.”

“Does it suck that I’m not so predictable”

“To me evergreen wasn’t such a bad dream”

“Oh, sometimes things aren’t as plain as they seem”

“Darling when I go, bury me six feet in snow”

“Here we are, wasting our chances for the last time”

“When we go, I’ll try not to be so slow”

“Say it once, say it twice, try to be nice”

“Well, let’s not lose ourselves”

“Summer’s over, love had her screaming at the screen”

“It’s understood that the both of us are no good and I’ll always be that”

“Take my mind, take my body”

“Take my father’s conscience from me”

“Sister will you lend me all your strength, I’m bringing everyone home”