#the scene where he almost bites the pigeon and then talks while we all wait for it and then he goes for it unfortunately did not scare me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

olivia-anderson-fanfic · 4 years ago

Text

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 34

First

For those of you who read it Satisfied’s Alternate/Alternative Ending has a new chapter <3 dual update for Easter

Chat hadn’t known what to think when he was woken from his nap by buzzing. His brain had felt fuzzy, sure, but he was pretty sure that wasn’t supposed to be audible.

He pulled his face out of his pillow -- ignoring Plagg’s cry of surprise at being displaced -- and cracked an eye open.

Oh. His room was full of bees. And they were apparently taking the glitter out the window to the nearest dumpster. Oh. Okay. Why not? His life was already so weird.

He buried his face in his pillow again and went back to sleep.

When Ladybug stopped by, he had been playing late-night video games on the floor with Plagg. (Did he have an unfair advantage in his ability to hold the entire console at once? Yes. Was he going to go easy on the kwami? No.)

He tensed a little. Was she checking on her prank and about to get angry that Chloe had fixed everything (he made a mental note to thank her later, if they were both still alive)?

Ladybug and Chat looked at each other, silent, unreadable expressions on their faces... until the sound of Plagg finally beating his character with a loud screech pulled them back to reality.

Plagg may not talk, but the way he floated around Chat’s head, pumping his tiny fists in the air, was a pretty clear ‘hahahahaha I won you loser I winnnnnn’.

“Hey,” said Ladybug carefully, pulling his attention away from the gloating kwami. “Sorry if I’m interrupting something, but we really should talk…”

He hesitated slightly.

She held up her hands. “It doesn’t have to be right now but… soon?”

Chat bit his lip, and then turned off his console and set down his controller. “Now is fine.”

Ladybug nodded. “I was thinking we could get out of town for it...?”

Get out of town? Was this risky in some way? Were they about to get akumatized? Or, at least, have akumatizable emotions?

“Sure.”

So, after getting Rena to cover them for an hour while they booked it, they both left. Ladybug had her phone out, apparently to hold a map, though he didn’t really understand why because they were only really going in one direction.

“Alright!” She called suddenly from where she was flying along overhead. She swooped lower until she was buzzing along by Chat. “I think we’re far enough past the border to be safe.”

Ah. That was why. He nodded and skidded to a stop. She touched down on the ground beside him. They both mumbled to detransform and their kwamis almost instantly dove to hide in their jackets despite the fact that they were both still invisible to passerby.

They continued on in the direction they’d been heading in silence. No one was around, which wasn’t shocking considering it was nearing 1. They came to a stop at a bakery that was still open and she hesitated.

“Want something?”

He bit his lip. “Passion fruit macarons?”

She blinked, and for a moment it looked like she was going to say something, but then she nodded and headed inside to get some.

She came out a few moments later with a box of macarons for him and some regular chocolate chip cookies for herself. They settled to eat it just outside.

She nibbled at her cookies, eyes locked on a spot on the ground. He’d tried waiting for her to be ready to talk, but after a few minutes of her looking without seeing he decided he should at least say something:

“... you wanted to talk?”

She blinked a bit and looked at him, then quickly pulled her gaze back to the floor again. “Yeah. I guess I just wanted to say --.” She made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. “I can’t -- I --.” She glared at a crack on the ground like it had personally offended her. “You speak English, right?”

He startled a little. It was an odd question. But, still, he nodded. “I’m rich. I had to learn English and Mandarin.”

Her face lit up and for a second she looked at him again. “You speak Mandarin?”

He nodded.

“Can we…?” She started, unsure.

“Yeah, but I might be a little rusty.”

“That makes sense. If you don’t know a word I can translate it for you. Since we’re using my language not yours,” she said in Mandarin.

(Some vague part of him noticed that she took on a different tone in Mandarin, that her voice was lighter and a little smaller, that she seemed almost happier. He wondered if she’d like it if he spoke it with her more often.)

He nodded and made a vague motion with his hand, wordlessly telling her that he was ready for her to talk.

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry and… I wanted to explain myself.”

He wanted to tell her she didn’t have to, that he was also at fault, but she was already going on:

“Kwami, this is kind of embarrassing to admit to you, but my first few months of being ‘Ladybug’ didn’t go well.”

He nodded his understanding. Memories of his first few months as ‘Chat Noir’ were painful for him, too, despite how long ago it had been. All the people questioning his abilities, questioning his intentions, questioning his choices… had he not been used to media scrutiny, he doubted he would have continued on with it despite finally being able to go out in public as himself.

“I was second -- as you know, obviously -- and… a lot of comparisons were made. You’d had a year’s experience by then, and you’d had fight training beforehand, but I was just… new. You could always do things better, you were always preferred, you always got the bigger akumas while I got stuck with Mr. Pigeon and people like him. I even had a support-class-type power. Everything seemed to point to me being stuck as number two to you forever. And I think a part of me resented you for it.”

“I’m sor --.”

She cut him off with a look. “It’s not actually your fault. I shouldn’t have let it get to me as much as it did.”

He laughed without humor. “You were thirteen.”

She opened her mouth to argue, and then just shook her head and let the subject go. “Time passed, and Carapace came onto the scene, and people stopped comparing us as much… but they kept criticizing what I did. If I tried to be fun I was a ‘copycat’ and if I tried to act more serious I would be ‘bitchy’ and if I was neutral I was ‘boring’.”

He nodded slowly. He was beginning to understand where this was going.

“My sideeffects started coming in, and suddenly I was very lucky. None of the attacks ever seemed to hit me unless I REALLY messed up, and I started getting a reputation as ‘perfect’. And…” Her voice cracked a little and he looked away as she brought her arm to her face to wipe her face. “And I figured that, since I wasn’t even close to perfect, I should go with that kind of personality. At least it wouldn’t hurt as much when people criticized me, y’know? So I became everything I wasn’t, serious and perfect and --.”

He hesitated, biting his lip, and then he grabbed the sleeve of her hoodie and pulled her close. He gave her plenty of time to pull away, but she didn’t. She just buried her face in his shirt and stood there, arms limp at her sides, as he hugged her.

“I’m sorry, I should have helped --.”

“It’s fine, you couldn’t have known.” She gave a wet laugh. “You’re really good at hugs, by the way.”

“And you suck, apparently,” he teased lightly.

“Rude,” she muttered, arms coming up to wrap around him as well.

She actually was good at hugs, he thought vaguely as she molded herself to fit against his body.

He bit his lip. He could just leave the subject there. She apologized and he’d definitely gotten enough of a punishment…

He buried his face in her hair. He couldn’t even admit this to Carapace, how was he supposed to admit this to her? But… he really did want to talk about it with someone, and if anyone could understand it would probably be her...

“I… I’m in the public eye a lot. As a civilian. And my persona is a lot like yours. I’m the perfect, sweet son of --… my dad. And so, when I saw you pretending to be perfect out in public to keep up an image… I might have projected a little. I’d always kind of wanted someone to expose me as not perfect so I could be more free to be myself in public, so I wouldn’t have to spend my few hours out of the house with perfect posture and even more perfect smiles to make sure it didn’t reflect poorly on my dad.”

She smiled against his shirt. “At least you being ‘perfect’ is kinda true. Sure, you’re a little lazy sometimes, but you’re still pretty much amazing. It’s almost annoying.”

“PLEASE. If kwamis could talk, I’m sure Plagg would have a lot to complain about.”

She laughed, properly this time, and pulled away from him. She took a step back and then leaned against a lamppost without even glancing behind herself to make sure something was there. “Tikki probably has some stories, too. But, either way, you’re practically as perfect as people can be.”

He wasn’t convinced. “My first response to negative emotions was to make someone else mad enough at me to be a distraction for a few days.”

She didn’t look surprised. Not that he’d really expected her to. If Carapace had figured it out then surely she had, too; she had a few more months of psychology experience than him.

“Yeah, and? You were still calculated enough to choose the person who was least likely to get akumatized. As perfect as a person can be.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and she mimicked the action.

He looked her up and down twice before locking eyes with hers. “You’re still comparing yourself to me. You have to think I’m perfect so you can feel like Parisians were justified in comparing us and putting you down because, if they weren’t, then you have to accept the people you save on a constant basis are kinda sucky.”

She blinked and then a blush spread across her face. “Oh.”

“Yeah. ‘Oh’.”

“I can psychoanalyze you, too,” she said, breaking gaze with him to glare at her feet. “You can’t bring yourself to believe you’re perfect because your shitty parents probably used that as a basis to punish you and you’d like to believe that they were doing it so you could be your best self rather than admitting the truth that they don’t care about you as much as they should.”

He sniffled. Wait, when did he start crying?

“... oh.”

“Yeah...”

She cleared her throat a little and that’s when he noticed she was starting to cry, too.

“Kwami, we’re both messes, huh?”

She laughed through her tears. “Fuck, maybe WE’RE the ones who need therapy, not the rest of Paris.”

“No no no, everyone in Paris needs therapy. The minute we defeat Hawkmoth I’m getting a psych degree. That’s where the money is going to be.”

“We already have honorary psych degrees. I bet if you ask Chloe she could get her dad to give you a license.”

He snapped his fingers and then pointed at her. “Smart. All those years would probably make it so therapists wouldn’t be needed as much.”

“A few years? With as much trauma as Parisians have? Nah. You’ve got at least a few decades of consistent customers. ESPECIALLY if you market it as therapy from Chat Noir.”

He managed a smile, and they were silent for a moment other than the dying sniffles and shudders.

“Are… are we good?” He asked quietly.

She blinked at him, and then looked down. There was a beat, and then she took a deep breath. She brought a smile to her face and stuck her hand out.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you! My name is Ladybug! I promise I won’t displace my anger towards Paris onto you!”

He stared at the hand, uncomprehending, and then a smile stretched across his face. He shook her hand. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you, too! I’m Chat Noir! I won’t be blind to your problems and will help out when people are being rude to you!”

She gave him a skeptical look. “You don’t even stand up for yourself.”

“Uh… you’re right… uh… I’ll make Carapace help out when people are being rude to you!”

She laughed and shook her head. “Stupid.”

“I try.”

She smiled and hooked her arm through his.

“Whatever. Let’s get home.”

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen @woe-is-me0 @ladybug-182 @cas-and-their-refusal-to-write @trippingovermyfeet @melicmusicmagic @meimei3841 @roseliali

#a miraculous tiktok account #chat noir #adrien agreste #queen bee #chloe bourgeois #ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #carapace #nino lahiffe #rena rouge #alya cesaire #miraculous tiktok account #miraculous fic #ml fic #mlb #chloenette #chlonette #adrino

33 notes · View notes

peterstanslizzie · 4 years ago

Text

Reacting To: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Season 3 Episode 10)

This is it people! The series finale of Kipo; Let’s get to it.

Episode Title: Age of Wonderbeasts

Spoiler Warning: Kindly proceed if you’ve already seen the episode or are able to handle spoilers

Hopefully she’s getting dressed for her funeral lol

1. Continuing on from last episode, the fireworks rigged with the cure goes off and a bunch of embers start falling from the sky. One of the Humming Bombers got into contact with one of them while attempting to flee and immediately de-mutes. I thought the cure needed to go into their bloodstream? Unless, the ember actually burned through their skin. It that’s the case, wow that’s dark....

It’s awesome that Earl and Lily are helping Molly since Molly saved their children awhile back.

2. With her quick thinking, Kipo asks everyone to find shelter underneath her as she transforms into her Mega Jaguar form. However, that’s still not enough to protect everyone but luckily, the good humans step up to shield them with table cloths, which was heartwarming to see.

The mutes are thanking the humans for their act of kindness

OMG. Lio and Song hugging Scarlemagne? I’m here for it.

3. Thankfully, the fireworks ended and Kipo then pleads with Emilia one last time to stop what she’s doing. Emilia, hard-headed as ever isn’t one to back down at all and makes a drastic decision to inject herself with the mutagen she sourced from the Mega Walrus, transforming herself into one ugly Mega Mute.

Imagine seeing this in real life...shudders

4. I thought she was going to use the Mega Walrus’s DNA to make another cure that would affect Kipo. I didn’t think she would do this to herself. Kipo transforms back to her Mega form to take on Emilia before she could potentially hurt anyone.

How many Troyson kisses do we want? Yes...hehe

5. Troy and Benson are directing everyone back to find safety inside the old burrow while Wolf joins Kipo to assist her in battling Emilia. Kipo has the upper hand at first because Emilia isn’t used to being a Mega Mute. However, as the fight progresses, Emilia is starting to get better and is landing some solid hits on Kipo. But I feel like Kipo shouldn’t be losing to Emilia since she has much more experience fighting as a Mega. I guess they want us to feel like the stakes are high.

Man, this fight is actually pretty brutal. Emilia is whooping major jaguar ass here.

6. During the battle, Wolf notices Greta nearby and thinks that she has the cure to turn back Emilia into a human. So, hopefully they can steal the cure from Greta and use it as leverage to get Emilia to stop. They split up with Wolf going after Greta and Kipo continuing to fight off Emilia.

7. After taking a couple more punches, we see three of the Mega Dogs, the Mega Pigeon and the Mega Beaver heading their way towards the fight, with Jamack, Molly, Hoag, Amy, Zane, Label, Lio, Song, Scarlemagne, Dave, Benson and Mandu riding on them. I stan such supportive friends!

8. They each take turns kicking Emilia’s butt to buy Kipo some time to recover. Side note: It’s so cool that Jamack tells Emilia to do some “soul searching”! That’s literally the same line Kipo used on Jamack in Season 1 when he was an antagonist back then. During all of this, we see Emilia beginning to have some inner turmoil; It looks like she’s starting to lose herself in her current form.

9. We get to round 2 of Wolf vs Greta and it looks like the tables might turn in favor of Wolf but Greta is just too beefy for her to take on. While being held down in a pin, Wolf tries to butter her up with words by telling her that she’s not an idiot and she can think for herself, without the influence of Emilia. She also bribes her with all the pancakes she can eat if she hands over the cure to her and just like that, she agrees to hand it over. It’s so ironic that Greta is one of Emilia’s last followers but she’s so easily influenced to switch sides.

Again, I don’t get why Kipo is losing to Emilia so badly

10. Kipo is down for the count and Emilia turns her attention to her friends/family. As she’s about to crush Lio and Song, Kipo charges in last minute to take the devastating blow for them; She then falls unconscious. However, Emilia’s not done yet.

Scarlemagne’s death in 3...2...1

11. Oh no...here we go. Scarlemagne decides to play hero by making his attempt at saving Kipo. He basically gives his swan song to Lio and Song. I have a bad feeling he’s going to die and I’m not at all prepared to watch. He takes off on his favorite Flamingo vehicle from Season 1 and 2 and flies towards Emilia to distract her.

We haven’t heard this laugh in ages. Also, did anyone get chills when he tells Emilia to “leave her sister alone”?

12. He crashes his vehicle into Emilia causing her to lose focus and it sets off her ‘losing herself to the mega mute’ phase. This in turn, causes Scarlemagne to crash land somewhere in Skyscraper Ridge. Was it necessary for him to crash like that? If that’s the way he goes out, I’m gonna be honest here and say I would be very disappointed with that.

13. Emilia, who clearly is out of it runs off somewhere and Kipo, Wolf, Dave, Benson and Mandu all go after her with Lio and Song heading towards where Hugo/Scarlemagne crash landed. We then see the artistic representation of Emilia losing her mind to the mute, where her human form is quickly sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean.

14. They catch up to Emilia and they could see her being distraught. We also know the reason why she’s this way and it’s because she doesn’t have an anchor. I love it how whatever explanation we’re being told by the characters is something that the audience should know based on past episodes. Now that’s good storytelling.

15. Anyways, Kipo makes the decision to cure her because she thinks she doesn’t deserve to be punished this way. Really now? After all that she’s done? Maybe what Kipo means is that she deserves get whopped in her human form lol. After curing her, Kipo makes ANOTHER ATTEMPT (for the 3rd time) to convince her to make a change but of course this bitch isn’t going to change; She takes a shard of glass and tries to stab Kipo:

16. But our girl, Mandu quickly reacts and bites Emilia’s arm. She then loses her balance and falls stories high in the exact burrow her lab was located because we then see Fun Gus capturing her and taking her in as her “playdate”. Emilia is basically history.

17. Yesss! And this punishment is fitting since she will probably be Fun Gus’s plaything till she goes insane and dies. Not to mention she despises mutes. So, it’s a great way for her to go out. Bye!!! That’s what you get for killing your brother, you heartless monster. Can I also point out that once again, Mandu is the one to take out Emilia. She did beat her in season 2 when Wolf, Dave and Benson couldn’t and now in season 3, she’s the one to finish the job. Don’t mess with Mandu lol.

18. They head back to find where Scarlemagne, Lio and Song are but it’s almost too late because Hugo is dying. Kipo is in tears and I’m in tears too. Again, was it really necessary to kill him off? I felt like he’s more or less already redeemed as a character before this. He didn’t have to commit such a heroic act, which had cost his life. Ugh....And just like that, Hugo dies.....UGHHHHHH. I really don’t think he needed to die. If Catra (who committed just as many heinous acts, if not more than Hugo) got to live in She-Ra & The Princesses of Power, Hugo deserves to live too. I’m sorry...

19. Now it’s time for the epilogue set 5 years later, as told by an older Kipo. Let’s break it down:

Wolf’s Mega Corgi gave birth to a litter of puppies. Awww cuteness...

Wolf let her hair grow out and she looks AMAZING!!! Dayummmm

Benson and Troy own a successful restaurant together and they’re living the dream. Such domestic goals!

I got chills seeing Wolf and Benson walking side by side like that. They’ve grown up so much. It looks like they’re own their way to a picnic

Label and Zane is also running a gym together. Sweet!

Jamack is conductor for Las Vistas’s new transport system.

Dave is now a guest lecturer at what is seems to be Lio and Song’s new research lab, where he talks about some of his research findings and theories. Well, mostly theories.

I love Kipo’s new do’

20. We find out that Kipo is updating Hugo (spiritually) what has everybody been up to on his birthday.

Hugo gets a statue made in his honor, which is very fitting and Mandu...WOW MANDU has grown into an ADULT boar, with tusks and everything just like Bornak and Webber.

21. Kipo meets up with her besties and her family and they have their wonderful picnic in commemoration of Hugo’s birthday.

22. The scene cuts off to all of them having the time of their life riding on their Mega mutes. And that’s the official ending to the series. TEARS...

23. This has been an amazing show to watch, react and review. I can’t believe it only had 30 episodes but the story was so cohesive and felt complete on the most part. So you could say that this show wrapped up nicely. There are some loose ends that weren’t addressed/resolved at the end like the vaccine that Song and Lio were working on but I guess that could be something that’s explored further in future films hopefully.

24. I will also be making a couple of video essays that will be posted to my YouTube channel, PeterSaidWhat; The first one will be my full spoiler review of the final season and the second video will be Troyson-focused. I can’t wait for all of you to watch them. And finally, I want to thank you all for reading my episodic reviews and going on this incredible journey with me. It’s been a pleasure to have Kipo be a part of my life and I’m sure yours as well.

Much love,

Peter

38 notes · View notes

regressionanxiety · 5 years ago

Text

Dr. No (1964)

I am watching all of the James Bond movies, they are very bad and I love them. These are some of my thoughts as I watch, it’s basically a recap so you know, spoilers...

It starts with some murdering. James Bond is called into work, goes through the waiting room and meets with M. He gets a new gun because M insists, he’s very proud that under his leadership 00-deaths have gone down. Moneypenny is the best as always.

James Bond arrives in Jamaica and is instantly spotted, of course he is, he is after all, the worst spy. He is looking for a Taxi, but there is a driver waiting for him. Not at all suspicious. Bond makes a phone call. Is being spied on. Then goes to the car, and tells the driver to “just take me for a ride.” I know he’s just stalling, but I will use this line as support for my argument that James Bond is a chaotic bisexual.

Now Bond points his gun at his driver, questioning him, as he well should. The driver kills himself with cyanide hidden in a cigarette. Bond takes the car and drives to wherever he’s going, dead guy in the back seat. Tells a person when he arrives: “'sergeant, make sure he doesn’t get away.”

He drinks and puts out snooper traps in his room before he goes out to investigate his case futher. Chatting with some men, being his very best Miss Marple her, non threathening, pleasant conversationalist, even when the topic is grim. He’s directed to a man with a boat, Quarrel, who doesn’t want to talk to Bond and gives him some sass (everyone should give Bond sass) and turns him away. Bond, of course, isn’t deterred and approaches the man just as he’s having a bear. Now he wants to talk, because it’s private. They go into a storage room of some kind. The man has a knife and the guy at the bar (I think), grabs bond from behind. Bond easily throws them both into some neatly stacked (and empty) Red Stripe cartons, product placement or just an attempt to convince us that we’re really in Jamaica right now?

Bond thinks he has the upper hand now, but no! The man from the airport (not the dead driver - this isn’t that kind of movie) with his sunglasses is there, and he has a gun!

“gently, gently, let’s not get exited” the man says. With those sunglasses it’s hard not to mister. They are talking suits, like real gents. The other guy is CIA, and his name is Felix Leiter. They’re friends now, with drinks (and i’m sure fucking - those sunglasses can only mean one thing). Underneath the mango tree plays.

A woman takes their picture, now they need to get her. They question her a bit, Bond destroys her film, but gives her the camera back, they send her off. She calls them rats and says they’ll be sorry.

Bond learns about an island Crab Key (?) owned by a Chinese guy, apparently Quarrel and missing guy Strangways went there to collect geological samples. Locals won’t go near it, some have and never came back. They know very little of the man, except that his name is the titular Dr. No.

Bond is exiting a taxi, and the men who dealt with Strangways earlier are back, sneaking around with a gun pointed at Bond, but a car roars by and they miss their chance at an easy assassination.

Bond is talking to a professor Dent (one of the men he chattet with about Strangways before) about the geological samples from Strangways, he claims to have thrown them away because they weren’t anything. Bond is batting his eyelashes and being his best Miss Marple again. He knows the man is a liar!

Prof. Dent goes straight to a boat to get to Crab Key. These bad guys are really dumb. Anyway; crab key is guarded by men with big guns.

Very dramatic room. The professor is being berated by a disembodied voice for coming during daylight hours, stricktly forbidden. This still isn’t that kind of movie, but Dr. No is clearly a vampire. There’s a spider in a cage on a table. If guns don’t work on Bond, try spider bites?

Bond is back in his room. Checks his intruder revealers and as expected they have been disturbed. He wants some vodka, throws ice in a glass, opens the bottle, thinks twice, sniffs it, then puts it back down and opens a drawer and pulls out another bottle. Uses this instead. I’m not sure why that bottle would be safer, unopened and sealed somehow?

Ruh roh! Someone feels a little spidey! Bond killed it, his first murder in this film!

Bond gest a package, finds that the files on Crab Key are missing, sets up a date with a secretary (the stunning miss Taro) he caught eavesdropping. Business as usual. His package was a geiger counter? He checks some samples with his pals Leiter and Quarrel, and yes, they are radioactive. The professor is a liar! Gasp! Who knew! Now they must go to Crab Key, but in the night, after his date. But wait! there’s a note for him at the hotel reception. He calls miss Taro, she wants him to come to her and gives him some directions, a car starts following him, trying to drive him off the road? Oh noe, a crane or something is in the road, what will Bond do? His little car goes under, the bigger car that follows? Not so much, goes over and burns up.

“How did it happen?” The man who has the crane thing asks. “I think they were on their way to a funeral,” Bond replies.

He finally arrives at Miss Taro’s, shes just out of the shower, drying her hair, while wearing a tight toweldress???? Clearly not expecting him. He kisses her, and she protests.

The phone rings. She promises to try to keep him there. He really does seem to be a terrible kisser. They fuck. He pretends to want italian food so he calls a taxi, despite getting there by car. She is confused, he kisses her again to distract. Then the car comes, and she’s arrested. She spits in his face, which he deserves. He goes into her house again, creates a scene: pours some drinks, leaves his jacket, puts on a song (underneath the mango tree, again), goes into the bedroom and uses a pillow to make it look like someone is in it. Then he waits.

The professor walks through the door and shoots up the pillow. They have a chat. Bond shoots him. Then meets up with Quarrel to go on to the island. Makes a quip about it being a break from being a clay pigeon, but I somehow I doubt it. Leister is worried offers to go instead, but Bond refuses him.

Wait, why is bond asleep on the beach? Was that the plan? Did I miss something?

Ah, the bikini. It isn’t a very good one is it? They’re hiding from guards with guns now. Bond promises he’s no threat to this woman, Honey Ryder, but we all know that’s a lie. They must hide, they’ve been spotted on radar. They get shot at, the woman’s boat is ruined so she has to tag along. They sneak up some kind of river I think. Almost get caught, but don’t, hiding under water using reeds as breathing tubes. Honey claims Dr. No killed her father, a marine biologist, who came to Crab Key to never be seen again.

Now she’s telling Bond about how she killed her landlord (who raped her) via spiderbite. It took him a week to die. Bond just pouts at her, probably knows he might have deserved that spiderbite earlier...

The rumored dragon is nearby, and Bond, who knows it isn’t actually a dragon, wants to see it.

they’re captured, Quarrel is dead, and claimed to be contaminated. Geiger counters going wild! They need to be hosed down. Then they’re put in very nice quater and treated as guests. because why not. They have some coffee, it’s drugged and they pass out. Bond breaks a perfeclty good cup in the process - that brute. A mysterious figure, with shiny latexy gloves takes a look at Bond in bed. Dr. No presumably, he lifts the cover a little before we cut to the next scene. Sean Connery really isn’t that attractive Dr. just kill him already!

I’ve always wanted an evil lair. Finally the elusive Dr. No is revealed. Are you a good Bond villain if you don’t have a physical disability? It appears that he doesn’t have hands, because of errors in his work or something. He finds Bond a worthy adversary or some such. Bond has Honey sent away from the dinner table - ostensibly to save her. Dr. No quickly realizes that Bond is in fact just a policeman, not smart enough to join his criminal gang after all, SPECTRE (Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion) has no need for the likes of Bond, though if they did he’d prefer the revenge department. He is apparently being tortured, we don’t get to see that, but his clothes are ruined when we next see him in a cell he quickly escapes from by going into the pipes that keep this underwater facility with air. He falls down one of them and gets to take his shirt off. Oh no! Water rushes in and Bond must hold on!

He gets out, finds his way into a radiation suit (stylish, with a very square hood, he looks like a Doctor Who villain in an episode where they ran out of budget) and infiltrates a control room! They’re talking about a vehicle and say the word radiation a lot. Bondis trying to figure out how to sabotage their sabotage (of a rocket launch). Big science words! No time to think for Bond, just punch everyone! Chaos! Alarms blaring, abort abort!

Bond vs Dr. No. Bond wins and Dr. No goes down in what may be boiling radioactive water? Doesn’t seem like a delicious way to go. Everyone is fleeing the facility, Bond somehow finds Honey and frees her (she’s tied up on some ramp with water coming in, were they going to let the tide drown her? This is not how you kill people effectively).

Lots of footage of people fleeing, flinging themselves into the ocean etc. Bond and Honey get a boat, the facility goes boooooooooooom!

The boat runs out of fuel, and Bond and Honey settle in to wait for rescue, Leiter show up and start to give them a tow, but Bond lets the rope go so he and Honey can fuck. Leiter shakes his head and smiles at them in an overbearing manner.

THE END

#recap #dr. no #james bond #sean connery #007

3 notes · View notes

imaginationstimulation · 5 years ago

Photo

Highlighted Excerpts from Miranda July’s “The First Bad Man” 5 STARS, absolutely loved this book, it literally changed my life.

The NPR book review:

This cataloging of unglamorous inner life could be grotesque (and sometimes is) but there is something hugely generous about it. Writing about sex is a particular skill of July's — it is beautiful but real, not rapturous or misty or scene-lit.

Her humor comes from a careful literalness: a dragging out of the truth, and placing it in startling juxtaposition with the surface of things.

Quotes and highlights below. Expand to read.

YOUR KINDLE NOTES FOR: The First Bad Man: A Novel

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 7

“When in doubt, give a shout!” “Excuse me?” “I’m here for you. When in doubt, just give me a shout.” What silence. Giant domed cathedrals never held so much emptiness. He cleared his throat. It echoed, bouncing around the dome, startling pigeons. “Cheryl?” “Yes?” “I think I should go.” I didn’t say anything. He would have to step over my dead body to get off the phone. “Goodbye,” he said, and then, after a pause, he hung up.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 19

Once Carl had called me ginjo, which I thought meant “sister” until he told me it’s Japanese for a man, usually an elderly man, who lives in isolation while he keeps the fire burning for the whole village. “In the old myths he burns his clothes and then his bones to keep it going,” Carl said. I made myself very still so he would continue; I love to be described.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 22

As I walked to the door the map of the world detached from the wall and slid noisily to the floor. Not necessarily an indicator of anything.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 28

He was nervous—men are always sure they’ll be accused of some horrific crime after they talk about feelings.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 40

“Does it feel like we’ve known each other for longer than we really have?” “Kind of.” I could tell him or I could not tell him. I decided to tell him. “Maybe there’s a reason for that,” I ventured. “Okay.” He blew his nose again. “Do you know what it is?” “Give me a hint.” “A hint. Let’s see . . . actually, I can’t. There are no little parts to it, it’s all big.” I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. “I see a rocky tundra and a crouched figure with apelike features who resembles me. She’s fashioned a pouch out of animal gut and now she’s giving it to her mate, a strong, hairy pre-man who looks a lot like you. He moves his thick finger around in the pouch and fishes out a colorful rock. Her gift to him. Do you see where I’m going?” “Kind of? In that I see you’re talking about cavemen who look like us.” “Who are us.”

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 43

“She’s big-boned,” I said. “A lot of men think that’s attractive.” “Sure, a woman with that kind of body has a fat store that allows her to make milk for her young even if her husband isn’t able to bring meat home. I feel confident about my ability to bring meat home.” The words milk and fat store and meat had fogged up the windows faster than leaner words would have. We were in a sort of creamy cloud.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 44

“You’re the female me.” My heart started swooping around, like it was hanging on a long rope.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 45

I must have sat across from him at a hundred meetings of the board, but I had never let myself really study his face. It was like knowing what the moon looks like without ever stopping to find the man in it.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 47

His hand had a heat and weight that only real hands do. A hundred imaginary hands would never be this warm.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 53

This was probably the sign of a good therapist, seeming familiar to everyone.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 59

At the Ethiopian restaurant I requested a fork. They explained that I had to use my hands, so I asked for it to go, got a fork at Starbucks, and sat in my car. But my throat wouldn’t accept even this very soft meal. I put it on the curb for a homeless person. An Ethiopian homeless person would be especially delighted. What a heartbreaking thought, encountering your native food in this way.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 64

Our relationship is much more powerful and moving to me if we don’t compact our energy into our genitals.”

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 67

It’s one of those things that seems like a drag at first and then becomes second nature, until not doing it feels rude, almost aggressive.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 70

Suddenly it occurred to me that nothing might be happening. I’d done that before. I had added meaningful layers to things that were meaningless many, many times before.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 72

We’d been prehistoric together, medieval, king and queen—now we were this. It was all part of the answer to his question What keeps us coming back? He wasn’t done with me, and I wasn’t done with him.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 80

When she shoved me against my own desk I head-butted her and everyone else who wasn’t capable of understanding how nuanced I was.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 81

My eyes fell on the gray linoleum floor and I wondered how many other women had sat on this toilet and stared at this floor. Each of them the center of their own world, all of them yearning for someone to put their love into so they could see their love, see that they had it.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 82

I ate a pastry made out of white flour and refined sugar and watched the couple next to me feed each other bites of omelet. It was hard to believe they played adult games but most likely they did, probably with their coworkers or relatives. What were other people’s like? Perhaps some mothers and fathers pretended to be their children’s children and made messes. Or a widow might sometimes become her own deceased husband and demand retribution from everyone. It was all very personal; nobody’s game made any sense to anyone else. I watched seemingly dull men and women zooming past in cars. I doubted they all had written contracts like Ruth-Anne, but some did. Some probably had multiple contracts. Some contracts had been voided or transferred. People were having a good time out here, me included.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 83

This is nothing. We’ve seen fire and we’ve seen rain, I’d reply, quoting the song.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 85

Before every raw impulse there was a pause—I saw us through the homeless gardener’s eyes and felt obscene. Being outside society, he didn’t know about adult games; he was like me before I met Ruth-Anne, thinking everything that happened in life was real.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 90

Any two foes can fight in anger, but this was something rare. I was reminded of the Christmas Day soccer game between enemies in World War I or II. She still repulsed me, I’d still shoot her in battle the next day, but until dawn we’d play this game.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 92

Laughing like friends always emphasized that we weren’t. This wasn’t real like the laughing she did at home.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 92

“So what if it’s real for her?” she said, suddenly dropping her hands. “Real comes and goes and isn’t very interesting.”

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 103

The noise shook everything out of my head. What a magical way to get around. I’d always thought of these types of machines as toys for uneducated people who didn’t care about the environment, but maybe they weren’t. Maybe this was a kind of meditation. I felt connected to everything and the motor volume held me at a level of alertness I wasn’t used to. I kept waking up and then waking up from that, and then waking up even more. Was everything redneck actually mystical?

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 113

HER COWLIKE VACUOUSNESS DIDN’T REALLY bother me anymore. Or it didn’t matter—her personality was just a little piece of parsley decorating warm tawny haunches.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 114

She furrowed her brow and looked at the V my fingers were making. I had no idea what I was doing.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 120

It wasn’t really an appropriate card for a young girl; a group of rough-looking birds in rakish hats were playing cards with cigars in their beaks. It said something I can’t remember, but on the inside was a phrase like a virus or a self-replicating parasite waiting for a host. When I opened the card it flew out, gripping my brain with merciless talons: “Birds of a feather flock together.” It couldn’t be said just once, only repeated and repeated and repeated.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 123

It sort of worked. It wasn’t like saying abracadabra to make a rabbit disappear, poof. It was like saying abracadabra billions of times, saying it for years, until the rabbit died of old age, and then continuing to say it until the rabbit had completely decomposed and been absorbed into the earth, poof.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 125

Of course the point of being on the board was to be near him, but taking his place was interesting too. Almost better. For the first time I understood cigars and the urge to light one up and lean back.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 128

She looked utterly betrayed, as betrayed as the most betrayed person in Shakespeare.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 130

A cool breeze moved past and I knew how nice that must feel on his sweaty face, but that was all. I didn’t know how anything else would feel to him.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 131

We listened to the squeals change as the animal approached death; the pitch had entered the human register, every exertion contained a familiar vowel. If words began to form then I would go out there and break it up. Words, even crudely formed ones, would change the game entirely.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 145

“Do you really think it’s necessary?” “Necessary? No. All that’s necessary is that you eat enough to survive. Highlight (Yellow) | Page 147

I could see it so clearly, the zygote—shiny and bulbous, filled with the electric memory of being two but now damned with the eternal loneliness of being just one.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 148

All these years I’d been looking for a friend, but Suzanne didn’t need a friend. A rival, though—that got her attention.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 148

When the meeting adjourned we both went to the staff kitchen and made cups of tea in silence. I waited for her to begin the conversation. I sipped. She sipped. After a while I realized this was the conversation; we were having it.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 151

But eventually she wanted it more than he did, and this made her lower than him. There was no way to knock down a woman who was already lying on the ground.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 152

He walked to the elevator. He pressed the button and we both listened, my therapist and I, and waited for this part to be over—the part where he had already left but was still with us.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 164

“This is the worst you’ll ever feel.” “Ever?” “Well, maybe not ever in your whole life. We don’t know how you’re going to die—that might be worse.” I had veered off course. I put my face right in front of hers. “You can do this,” I said.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 169

A bag of blood was rushed in; it was from San Diego. I’d been to the zoo there once. I imagined the blood being pulled out of a muscled zebra. This was good—humans were always withering away from heartbreak and pneumonia, animal blood would be much tougher, live, live, live.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 176

Her braids lay on her chest and she looked leaden with sorrow, like a picture from the Dust Bowl. You just knew her whole life was going to be hard, every second of it.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 179

After a long time, ten or fifteen minutes, the kissing slowed. There were a series of closing kisses, goodbye kisses, kisses placed like lids on boxes—then the lid would pop off and need to be replaced. There, this is the final kiss—no, this is the final kiss. This one is, it really is. And now I’m just kissing that kiss good night.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 180

Soft was the wrong word. Satiny? Supple? A new word, I would come up with it right now—which letters would I use? S, for sure. Maybe an O. Was this how words were made? How would I announce the word? Who would I contact about that?

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 181

followed the doctor across the room. I yearned for a lawyer and the right to make a phone call. But those rights were for arrested people. We got nothing. Whatever he told me would be the new reality and we’d just have to accept

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 183

They belonged here, both of them equally, as did the nurses and the doctors and Clee. None of them recognized the interloper among them, but they would soon. I’d gotten swept up in the drama of the situation and mistakenly involved myself.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 183

Almost! I said. There was no good way to be, so I was being cavalier, lancing my own heart. We came pretty close. See you next time!

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 184

The last of her crying came out in a clotted sigh after the first kiss.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 184

We began a series of impatiently off-center ones, as if we were too hurried to land them properly; then our mouths became fingertips, moving blindly over the bumps and hollows of each feature.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 185

It was like a dream, where the most unlikely person can’t get enough of you—a movie star or someone’s husband. How can this be? But the attraction is mutual and undeniable; it is the reason for itself. And like a surprise on the moon or a surprise on the battlefield, astonishment was native to these parts.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 186

They were terrible people, even slightly worse than most.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 186

Should I introduce myself or try to kill them? Not violently, just enough that they wouldn’t exist.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 200

Was I like honey thinking it’s a small bear, not realizing the bear is just the shape of its bottle?

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 201

WOKE WITH A START like a passenger on an airplane—for a moment I could feel how high I was and had an appropriate terror of falling.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 202

A howl was curdling inside me; the ache felt inhuman. Or maybe this was my first human feeling.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 203

Anyone who questions what satisfaction can be gained from a not-so-bright girlfriend half one’s age has never had one. It just feels good all over. It’s like wearing something beautiful and eating something delicious at the same time, all the time.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 209

“Can the writing be a little more fun?” she said. “You mean a different font?” “Maybe.” I put everything in chubby cartoon letters as a joke. “That looks good,” she said. She was right. The cartoon letters had a love of life in them, and wasn’t that what we were celebrating here?

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 212

Suzanne fired him on the spot—her face shaking with regret about things she had not nipped while they were still in the bud.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 213

Clee held me from behind and our bodies interlocked like two Ss. “Not many people could do this,” I said, squeezing her arms. “Everyone does this.” “But not fitting together so perfectly the way we do.” “Any two people can do it.”

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 217

I didn’t bathe him because I was too afraid he would slip out of my hands or his belly button would open. Then one night I woke at three A.M. certain he was rotting like a chicken carcass. Only as I lowered him into the sink did I realize this was a crazy time to wash a baby and I began to cry because he was so trusting—I could do anything and he would go along with it, the little fool.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 218

Clee asked if he could see in the dark like a cat and I said yes. Later I caught my mistake but it was five A.M. and she was asleep. The next day I forgot. Each day I forgot to tell her he couldn’t see in the dark like a cat and each night I remembered, with increasing urgency. What if this continued for years and I never told her? My body was so tired that it often floated next to me or above me, and I had to reel it in like a kite. Finally one night I wrote “He can’t see in the dark” on a slip of paper and put it by her sleeping face. “What’s this?” Clee asked the next day, holding the slip. “Oh, thank God, yes. Jack can’t see in the dark like a cat.” “I know.” Suddenly I was unsure how this had begun. Maybe she had never asked. I dropped the subject with dark thoughts about my own mind.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 220

But as the sun rose I crested the mountain of my self-pity and remembered I was always going to die at the end of this life anyway.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 220

If you were wise enough to know that this life would consist mostly of letting go of things you wanted, then why not get good at the letting go, rather than the trying to have?

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 220

I began to understand that the sleeplessness and vigilance and constant feedings were a form of brainwashing, a process by which my old self was being molded, slowly but with a steady force, into a new shape: a mother. It hurt. I tried to be conscious while it happened, like watching my own surgery. I hoped to retain a tiny corner of the old me, just enough to warn other women with. But I knew this was unlikely; when the process was complete I wouldn’t have anything left to complain with, it wouldn’t hurt anymore, I wouldn’t remember.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 228

After smiling came laughing, then rolling over. The days and nights began to unwarp; three A.M. became an ordinary time. The first few months were hard for all new parents, a test, really—and we had passed!

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 231

For the first time in my life I understood TV, why everyone watched it. It helped. Not in the long run, of course, but minute by minute.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 232

what it felt like to be a mother, to be terrifyingly in love without the option of getting off.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 234

It must happen all the time, a fleeting passion overwhelms someone’s true course and there’s nothing to be done about it.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 236

one lone voice in an infinite cathedral, climbing and echoing and praising. The singer was lifted up and illuminated with gratitude, not for any one thing, but for the whole of this life, even for the agony.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 242

Rainbows are alone; they’re the only thing like that. The crystal began to wind the other way, sending the bright fleet back across his body. I could tell he didn’t believe me; it did seem unlikely. I racked my brain for others of the species. Reflections, shadows, smoke—these things were morose and distant cousins at best.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 247

I cleared my throat. “I love you.” His head shook with surprise. My voice was low and formal; I sounded like a wooden father from the 1800s. I continued. “You are a sweet potato.” This sounded literal, as if I was letting him know he was a root vegetable, a tuber. “You’re a baby,” I added, just in case there was any confusion on that last point.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 252

we had only spent a few hours a day in the NICU with him. That wasn’t enough. It was enough for us at the time, but now it haunted me. Twenty hours a day he’d lain there alone. There would be other unpardonable crimes, I could feel them coming—things that in retrospect would become my greatest regrets.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 254

Ruth-Anne, I would say, can we put the past behind us? Better not to phrase it as a question. The past is behind us. That was good. Who could argue with that?

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 256

It was like being accused of a crime committed in a dream.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 257

As she looked up at him her whole bearing shifted; she became luminous. Not with the light of life, but like a husk lit electrically from within.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 258

Just his name on a piece of paper could set her off. Even a word like Broyard—barnyard, backyard—sent her into an exhausted loop of fantasies. Everything else in her life, including her own therapy practice, was faked. The spell consumed 95 percent of her energy but she was surprised to see that no one noticed; the wafer-thin 5 percent version of her sufficed.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 259

Something strange was happening with Ruth-Anne. It didn’t seem good.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 263

Each word he said was boring, but collectively the melody of them lulled me.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 263

I tried to resist, but just the weight of him, in pounds and ounces, was a relief. Always being the heaviest person in the house had been exhausting.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 266

“Of course I’m here for you,” I said. It was a relief; being angry at him was hard work.

Highlight (Yellow) | Page 270

I’m the woman who just told her her feet smell; I could still see her enormous smile and how it fell.

#miranda july #the first bad man #book review #bookstagram #bibliophile #writing #quotes #writing inspiration

1 note · View note

linkingnightvale · 6 years ago

Text

And now a word from our sponsors... 101-150

Ep 102: Sears

And now a word from our sponsors. Today’s show has been brought to you by Sears. Sears would like you to know that they offer quality products at low prices. And also that there was a miscommunication and they thought this was a television station. They prepared a TV ad and aren’t sure what to do now. Um, I guess we’ll just describe what you would have seen, had you seen this commercial on TV. This is not the level of quality we want you to think of when you think of Sears, but here goes.

Exterior: a house. Snow drifts down onto yard already piled with snow. A warm glow on the snow, reflected light. We pan up. It is the light from the house’s windows. So cozy, so warm! Why would anyone ever want to leave and go to Sears? What kind of commercial is this? Wait, stick with us. Interior: living room. A woman looks out the window, bites her lip. “Bad weather,” she thinks. “I’m not going outside.” We don’t hear this as narration, the performer expresses this with her face, she’s a great actor. I wish you could have seen her, she doesn’t even talk in this commercial, all visual performance it’s, what a waste. So bad weather, she doesn’t want to go outside. She goes to the computer, loads up Amazon. It’s not Amazon, because we don’t want to advertise another company, but it’s like clearly Amazon, you know? We see her clicking on stuff, stuff she could be buying at Sears, but is instead buying on Amazon.

Flash forward a day. She got next day shipping, I guess. Same house exterior, it’s still snowy, the snow is high, the pavement is icy. A mail truck pulls up. A mail carrier gets out. He has her package. We see her in the window, so happy about her decision to buy from Amazon. He starts up the drive to her, he slips on the ice. Her package goes flying. It says “fragile” in the package, so that’s probably ruined. He falls badly, fractures his leg in three places! We don’t know this just by looking at it, but the filming of the stunt didn’t go like it was supposed to, so I can tell you: fractured in three places. Horror on her face. She does a great job acting this scene, I really wish you could have seen it.

We’re now in a court room. She’s being sued! The jury looks stern. She’s going to love. All of her savings will go to the mail carrier, but he isn’t happy either. He is in incredible daily pain, and what is money going to do to fix that? No one. Is. Happy. We fade out on the two of them at their separate tables in court, both facing a future that is diminished, that is diminishing. Next time, get in your car and go to Sears. This has been a message from your sponsor.

Ep 106: A grey pigeon

And now a word from our sponsors.

Today’s show is brought to by a grey pigeon, whispering to you from your neighbor’s backyard. The pigeon – his name is Alfonso – is telling you that you are the one true God. [serene voice] And that he wants you to bring it a body part. A human body part. Doesn’t matter which part. Just do it. [ominously] Soon. [serenely] “Time’s almost gone. The Bible was wrong,” the pigeon added, suddenly from your right shoulder. “There never was a beginning.”

This has been a word from our sponsors.

Ep 107: Ace Hardware

More soon, but first a word from our sponsors.

Today’s show is brought to by Ace Hardware on Fifth and Shay Street. Which is a real hardware store, and not merely a camouflaged snake pit. Ace Hardware is here to fit all of your needs, and while it may look like a crude representation of a store created out of leaves and trash by hundreds of animals that had to work without the benefit of limbs. Trust us that we are a real store, that you can really enter, and will definitely leave again, alive and uneaten. Don’t worry, the near deafening hiss is the sound of [voice and music distort, static] hardware savings on everything including [ding] circular saws, reciprocating saws, [voice turns normal but the music still distorts] coping saws, and of course hand saws. All kinds of saws are 50 per cent off during this week’s “you saw it, you bought it” sale. Come by today. We also copy keys if you need that, so again, come on buy.

This has been a word from our sponsors.

Ep 113: Equinox Gym

But before crunching those numbers, a quick message from today’s sponsor.

Equinox Gym. At Equinox, we focus on the whole body. Particularly, the soft and vulnerable parts of that body. Stop by our windowless complex today to meet with a dietician about this month’s promotion, the Zima cleanse. Or for even faster results, nothing torches calories like our calorie torch. Also, new members this week to Equinox receive 60 days of free access to our popular Judgment Spa.

This has been a word from our sponsor.

Ep 114: The new green co-op

And now a word from our sponsors.

Today’s show is brought to you by the new green market co-op, which just opened up on Galloway Road between Patty’s Hardware and Discount Pastries and one of those escape-the-room places, where you wake up in a bath tub chained to a pipe, and there’s another person across the room also chained to a pipe, and in the middle of the room is a dead body with a gun and a cassette player? Yeah, I hear those are great fun. Green market co-op owner Tristan Cortez said he opened the new store to provide a safe space for all your produce optics and food content transactions. Too often, the people who eat food don’t know where they are, or why they are, and they cry. They just sob in the middle of a store, afraid. Well, the new green market co-op store front on Galloway Road won’t let that happen, Cortez said. He said he will there every day to hold your hand, to nuzzle your neck with his nose, to whisper to you: “Don’t be afraid”, as he hands you an eggplant.

Ep 117: Money

Listeners, we have a new sponsor! Our show is brought to you by – money. When purchasing items, please consider using money. It’s exchanged universally in place of transactions with actual value. Money is available in handy ones, fives, sixes, eights, and now twenties. [very fast] Money may be habit forming, symptoms may include (avarice), lack of introspection and, frequent substitution of the phase “intelligent” for “wealthy”. Please ask your doctor if money is right for you and nod with considerable vigor when your doctor asks if you think money will complete you.

Ep 119: Love

We have a new sponsor. Our show is now sponsored by – love. Uh definitely consider love when wanting to buy things, because… love conquers all, makes the world go round, and is all you need. This has been a message from love, conqueror of our former sponsor, money. It’s what makes a Subaru a Subaru.

Ep 121: Ford

And now, a word from our sponsors.

Ford! Our cars are built strong, strong like a rock or a mountain or a bone. In fact, our cars are built out of bones, weird metal bones that were buried in a meteor. What creature did they belong to? How did it live with a skeleton of steel? Are its relatives even now streaking down from the sky, intent on revenging themselves upon the pitiful culture that desecrated their dead and turned them into affordable and reliable pickup trucks? Who knows. We certainly don’t. We barely understand how an engine works. We have one guy who knows, and he builds them all. But in order to protect his job, he won’t show anyone else how to do it. Now that’s smart thinking. Ford: drive weird bones.

Ep 122: ???

And now a word from our sponsors.

Mute children perched atop strange formations on desert plateaus. Our eyes gaze toward a horizon that will never change. There is no movement here, no sun, but there is light. No darkness, but there is night. We do not need to eat, but we are hungry. We have no way to drink, but we are thirsty. We have nothing to sell you. Remember us.

This has been a word from our sponsors.

Ep 127: ???

And now a word from our sponsors.

Pay no attention to the vase in your backyard. All human beings die. This is unrelated to the vase in your backyard. You don’t remember purchasing that vase. Certainly it does not seem like your style. It wouldn’t go with any of your things, and that is not a color you buy glasswork in. You are, just in this moment, realizing you have opinions about the color of glasswork, and this is causing you to reassess in some small way your sense of self. But pay no attention to that vase in your backyard. We all get slower, get sick, and then we pass on. This is unrelated to the vase in your backyard. The vase in your backyard did not cause this. It is an inornate vase, not of any recognizable era or culture. Perhaps you should plant climbing vines or thick shrubs around the vase, so that eventually, you won’t have to see it anymore. It will be covered over with greenery, as you will some day be covered over with greenery.

Everything will eventually be covered over with greenery, until the greenery goes too.

But pay no attention to the vase in your backyard.

All human beings die.

This is unrelated to the vase.

This message was brought to you.

Ep 133: ???

And now a word from our sponsor.

Today’s sponsor is… huh, okaay. Hmm, they just sent a video tape with the labels torn off of it. I guess I’ll watch it and describe what I’m seeing. [clears throat] [talking fast] It’s a black and white shot of a kitchen, a man is making a sandwich, it’s a falafel sandwich with cucumbers and tomatoes and he eats the sandwich, smiles at the camera and leaves the room. Now there’s a big red text thing, uh “there must be another way”. Now we’re back at the kitchen and the man is making a sandwich. He seems confused, as though he remembers having just done this. In his confusion, as he is cutting the tomatoes, the knife slips and oh my god- oh my god! Oh, he’s screaming but now that same text “there must be another way” and the, the man is back making the sandwich and he’s still screaming, uh but he realizes his hand is intact, and he goes to the phone uh to make a call and he slips and bangs his head on the counter and he falls out of frame and the text says again “there must be another way”. And the man is back and and, and he’s pale and shaking and he’s feeling his head, and he can’t believe it’s not broken open and he runs to the door and out into the yard and the camera follows him, and it’s not clear who is filming, and there is an earthquake and and a crevice opens up in his lawn and he disappears into it and again, “there must be another way” and he is back in the kitchen and he’s weeping. How long is this? OK, it, OK it looks like this tape is at least three hours long, so I’ll watch the rest of it later uhhhh, and kind of summarize. Maybe then we’ll figure out who is even sponsoring this thing.

Ep 136: Bed Bath and Beyond

And now a word from our sponsors.

When we talk apocalypse, we talk fires and spires of smoke and screams and wars and horrid clouds of ash and floods. And this is a comforting vision, because it supposes we’re all in it together. But death is mostly something you keep to yourself. In all reality, the apocalypse is likely going to just be you alone in a room with the flu. Bed, Bath and Beyond: you’re going to need some new sheets.

#welcome #to #night #vale #wtnv #welcome to night vale #sponsor #other #weird

3 notes · View notes

lilietsblog · 6 years ago

Text

GHOST TRICK: THE BIG FINALE

so I finished the game yesterday all on my lonesome without internet

why yes I am perfectly fine and not emotionally compromised in the slightest

enjoy my screaming

IT'S GHOST TRICKING TIME which is to say it's ghost tricking time without internet so I'm doing this in wordpad tumblr really needs an 'import rtf' function >_>

SO from what I remember, when last we left off I was about to try to figure out how the fuck a knitted cap and a helmet are going to help me stop a bullet LET'S DIVE RIGHT BACK INTO THIS FOLKS

I still love how Sissel just ignores the dog's little 'WHATS A HOSTAGE O NO' instead of digging into explaining it

oh thank god the game DOES remember ive read this text before

...oh, I forgot how I did this the last time O WELL

all right, so I remember swiveling the lamp and dropping the hard hat, then when the knitted cap is over here I can swap it with the book and get it on the hook but how did I get the knitted cap over here

aha, he looked away for a moment, the helmet part is done what the fuck do i do now

AHA okay, so now i very quickly cart the ladder back and forth, I think I remember this

fuck, he noticed me, okay don't swivel the lamp while he's watching, swivel it while he's still looking away

I gotta note the 'I don't know why you're wearing my face' part HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

fuck, nope, I can't swivel the lamp back at that moment because he notices it clattering and turns right around FUCK OKAY LET'S TRY TO DO IT WITH THE LAMP THERE

ugh, if only I could do shit during the cutscene while he rolls away >_>

OK I SHOULD HAVE HAD MORE TRUST IN MISSILE HE IS GREAT AND A VERY GOOD DOG AND CAN AIM FOR SPLIT SECOND TIMING OF A BULLET BEING IN THE AIR OKAY

haha, and the knitted hat still hit Cabanela with enough velocity to knock him over I love this and I particularly love his dramatic leg up in the air he doesn't evne know what's happening he just aims to be the most dramatic possible at all times and it's really helping us out <3

'i love knitted hats... so warm, and most of all, so SOFT' <3 <3 <3

god Missile is so good this is pain IS THE DAWN DEADLINE A LIE MAYBE DID RAY JUST SAY THAT TO GET SISSEL'S BUTT MOVING I DON'T KNOW

oh yeah Cabanela's still got broken bones all over I kind of forgot about that

oh ok, looks less like broken and more like just really fucking bruised, becuase in that movement he's put pressure on all limb bones and nothing bent out of shape, so that's good

lmao and Cabanela's just like 'BUT IF I WAS KILLED IN THAT EXPLOSION THE SITUATION WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER' I I don't think it would necessarily work out that way, considering how much difficulty our protagonist was having saving just the professor :x

oh hey we've got our next source of information! should be quite a wellspring if Sissel remembers everything he should ask

yeeep Cabanela you FUCKED UP

oh, the gun :x

HON IM PRETTY SURE THE FIRST PART IS MORE IMPORTANT THE PART WHERE YOU TRIED TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF HIM CORNERED RATS BITE THIS IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY YOUR FAULT, ALL OF IT

aha, those cases, okay

and Cabanela was doing the thing because of Jowd that makes sense -_- kind of

yep, that one little snag kind of puts a question mark on the whole thing alright, that almost makes sense? kind of? makes Cabanela kind of a selfish butt doing this for his own obsession rather than for personally Jowd but makes sense

ok, the bringing him to justice minister to buy time thing actually does make a lot of sense it wasn't A LOT of time that he bought but it was just enough and that's what counts

oh hey, this guy used to have the job that the blue fake stole? (and yeah sounds like blue guys are just foreigners -_- bc they couldnt find spies that didnt stand out visually or anything)

hum not a scratch, huh regenerating dead body, okay

oh come ON Sissel don't be surprised now that part was obvious from the moment he said the corpse disappeared the meteorite's radiation, okay, quite interesting :D

"it was like a meteorite had struck me on the head" so, has that been a cause of death today yet, because if it hasn't, this looks like foreshadowing -_-

hum, so the gun would have been loaded because he controlled Kamila, which she then wouldn't have a clear memory of makes sense

HI LYNNE JUST IN TIME

arrest her to keep her safe, that actually makes perfect sense IF ONLY IT HAD WORKED LMAO no wonder pigeon guy roasted him for that in the deleted timeline XD

"while he was at it" <3 <3 <3

awwww pigeon guy was friends with him too <3

hee right on top of his striped jumpsuit honestly he looked less escaped-from-prison-ish in the paint-splattered robe thing XD

a present, huh?

awww see Sissel you don't feel lonely and that's what counts

ALRIGHT THEN :D LET'S FUCKING GO :D AND, UH, DO SOMETHING, I GUESS I love how out of proportion Sissel's powers are rewind time, talk to dead people... and move small objects a little

so, uh, Sissel, are you sure there's answers for YOU over there or did you just get into habit of telling this to yourself to feel better

okay well how the fuck did Jowd infiltrate a fucking SUBMARINE like, I just want to know the physics of how this happened?

omfg the bullet had a radio transmitter well, I have a newfound respect for Cabanela, I gotta admit like I already respected him but I just figured he shot the guy out of a desperate 'can't do anything else might as well try this' urge to do SOMETHING but nope he had a plan (which would have worked even with him dead)

wow, and he actually gave the thing to Jowd beforehand n i c e

wow, okay, that's stealthy

aha, and he can totally leave his body and wander around freely I think that was already confirmed but it's nice to know for even surer

wow, okay, what the fuck re: that thing reaching up from below that definitely looked like... something else for a moment there 0.0

aand okay the meteorite is possible to extract from his body I wonder if evil!Sissel actually knew that... or if that actually did anything to him :D

okay, what the FUCK and how many more people are dead now

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MISSILE IS HERE TOOOOOOOO

the phone is ringing, how convenient :D

ooohkay this is tricky

so, why the fuck were there baseball and basketball balls hanging in nets under the ceiling on a submarine ... ... you know what I don't want to know

wait, Kamila can't hear him? oh, right, over the phone ghosts communicate by close range telepathy

aaand this makes the FIFTH time Lynne's dead tonight! or is it sixth? did i lose track somewhere?

AWWWW THIS SCENE IS LIKE AN OVERDOSE OF CUTE

'i wonder what happened THIS TIME' yep lmao

no actually 'i dont remember what happened after that' sounds like evil!Sissel to me, personally

but do you know what this wheel does Sissel are you sure turning it is a good idea

"I just sort of blacked out, the next thing I knew, I was dead" <3 <3 <3

"now it's all making even less sense than before" AND THAT'S SAYING *SOMETHING*

but actually okay yea this does kind of sound like an explosion that killed Lynne and knocked Kamila out

aaand nope I was absolutely correct )=

can this guy only puppet one body at a time? couldn't he have just possessed Lynne and had her slit her own throat or shoot herself or hang herself or something? that sounds a lot more productive than having a little girl fight her I mean, even if he only can puppet one body at a time, puppetting Lynne would have been a lot more productive overall, is there a reason he can't?...

or does he just love to do things in the most convoluted and roundabout manner typical to villains everywhere -_-

"nobody ever calls the dead" ARGUABLE a number of phone calls has been made this night specifically for the purpose of putting our!Sissel on the line

aand okay :D looks like the blue assholes saved Lynne just in time, sort of ...for a certain definition of 'saved'

so anyway this guy said something like 'you cannot possibly comprehend my suffering' so it would be funny if he was just a random dumbass that a bad thing hapened to one (1) time, which granted also killed him, but all the misery since then has been of his own making and he's put every single person involved in the events through worse just over the course of tonight, and simply has no sense of scale, perspective or proportion I think that would be great if the story went there XD EDITOR'S NOTE IN RETROSPECT: the story didn't go there and that was not fucking okay (it's dead women in the fridge again!)

and Sissel can't understand revenge as a concept SOUL TWINSIES WITH ME OR WHAT

lmao Lynne is starting to get touchy about how many times she's needed rescue lately XD

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHY CAN'T I REACH FOR ANYTHING YET also, interesting to note that in the 4 minutes ago past, neither Lynne nor Kamila have a core looks like Sissel's interaction with this realm is limited after all, and not only by phones there's v interesting existential fuckery going on here, of the exact sort I ABSOLUTELY LOVE

oh THERE we go 'nobody ever calls the dead' ARGUABLE again and I love Lynne's signature instant-snap-into-hands-over-head animation + pose Good Reflexes

ALRIGHT, FIDDLING WITH RANDOM SHIT WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT IT MIGHT DO TIME ...and that sure worked fast

hum, a random mechanic, alright

oh hon that's a, um, what's the opposite of exaggeration I know this word in Russian >_> over...littlification? that 'restless ghosts onboard' THAT'S ONE WAY TO PUT THAT

lmao that was one odd fate change

alright, found the temsik fragment capsule, I see yay unexpectedly strong wastebucket lids (seriously, that's a whole freaking basketball, there's a reason the nets worked like that lmao)

alright, just watching the cutscene for now, that's fair this guy sure looks like he's going to abandon his entire crew and blow up the sub or something

"farewell, sir" WELL THAT DID NOT SOUND QUITE RIGHT

alright, and we're left in the capsule rather than the fragment which apparently did not have a core of its own for some reason

OMFG THERE'S A LITTLE RAT IN THE TORPEDO ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A RUBE GOLDBERG MACHINE INVOLVING A SMALL RODENT AGAIN BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE BEST KIND BUT ALSO THIS IS NOT HOW TORPEDOS WORK BUT ALSO HI RAT!!!

yeah exactly thanks Sissel! how the FUCK did it get here also I love that the characters DO pay attention to the wellbeing of innocent rats in this game <3

well, you COULD just try to get it to blow up earlier, in the water you'd be stuck but you'd be heroes, or something well, Lynne would go back to her body, Sissel would be stuck :D oh, and the rat would die, that's the bad news

YEAH LET'S SAVE THE RATTIE FIRST if this time the rat is going to be in the way rather than helping, well, I REALLY DO RESPECT THAT LET'S SAVE THE RAT

alright, after some trial and error I DID manage to get both weights in the same position (mostly by luck) and throw off the rat NOW TO SAFETY

alright, this looks promising OKAY IT ALSO LOOKS LIKE KAMILA AND LYNNE MIGHT BE SAFE FROM EVIL!SISSEL NOW THAT'S GOOD NEWS

yusss caring about rats ftw <3

that's what missiles do, huh they're unstoppable i dont know who it is i hear there but Missile is great yes

well, whatever this is, our!Sissel just turned it on maybe it's pumps to remove water!... not that they'll do much against an unplugged breach but

aha, okay, won't move for long

this movement through a machine's gears feels like the purest expression of the game's premise since the junkyard tricks at the very beginning <3

the way Kamila's speech kinda fades in from white? that worries me

...eeeyup

god but I love this game's animation. this little one of Lynne hoisting Kamila up on her back? it feels, like, PERFECTLY balanced with their weights and Lynne's strength and everything <3 <3 <3

oh my god Lynne why couldn't you just... be able to swim not that it would help much with Kamila unconscious but

oh my god Lynne is literally right here why do I still have trouble moving around freely???

oh, found it!

wow, she's climbing one-handed while carrying Kamila, that's some serious upper body strength <3

W E L P

YEP THAT'S SOME SERIOUS STRENGTH THAT SHE DIDNT JUST FUCKING FALL NOR DROP KAMILA

yeeep okay WOW

ARE YOU BOTH GOING TO DIE NOW OR WHAT okay, no, just fall, and not even in the water that's good news

LYNNE THIS IS NOT A POSE YOU WANT TO BE IN RIGHT NOW unless you're actually holding yourself against that shit in the background with your left hand and I just can't see it I guess

...nope, she was holding her chin LYNNE NO

MISSILE HURRAY

okay, the fan thing makes sense

now to swap around a bunch of broken pipes so they don't get in lynne's way, got it

FOR FUCK'S SAKE I REALLY DON'T SEE A WINNING COMBO HERE

aand I fucking lost but at least I got Sissel in position -_-

alright, now with one pipe turned off it actually works out easily it just... took me really long to realize I'd need Sissel for this one -_-

Lynne honey but have you considered: you have no fucking clue what's behind that door although presumably submarine has only been breached in one place and it's this room?

holy shit with the hook Sissel managed to hoist the combined weight of Lynne and Kamila now THAT's a nifty trick

SISSEL FOR FUCK'S SAKE SHE CAN'T MUSTER LEVERAGE FOR THIS BECAUSE SHE HAS TO HOLD HERSELF AND KAMILA UP AND SHE'S TIRED SHE CAN ASK FOR HELP EXCLUSIVELY IN SWAHILI SWEARS AND IT'D STILL BE A WAY THAT YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH

aww, someone's saving us!!!

someone who commented on unstoppable missiles earlier, perhaps?

right, the truth... that's still relevant. while on a sinking submarine. yep

haha sinking submaries i have just been playing oxenfree haha

oh wow that's an improvised mechanism made out of garbage sticking in a close range telekinetic field nifty shit

oh oh okay that explains absolutely nothing evil!Sissel is not evil now, or what?

lmao this is getting more confusing, but like... in a very satisfying way <3

evil!Sissel still seems to have SOME amount of powers, at least, though possibly not the manipulating humans ones? but this amount of telekinesis is still incredible

so okay our Sissel's name possibly IS Sissel, but this dude's isn't I'm more confused than ever before I doubt there are three of them, so...

ahh, Lynne making Kamila more comfortable <3 <3 <3 and again, animation is fucking excellent. just, the timing of everything? it's better than 90% of all 3D animation I've ever seen in games

power and time, okay, got it so the dawn deadline IS real, just not for him wait, possibly not for Sissel and Missile, either?

I see he still fell in his signature ridiculous pose it's less funny now, overall

ah, okay, so the time effect is different too it seems to have been the same for Sissel and Missile though? is this a personality powers deal?

I love that Missile is perfectly comfortable with weird shit because as a dog, that's about the amount of understanding he has of his everyday surroundings, too <3

oh, hum so the moment this guy actually 'died' is the moment that blue guy took out the fragment?

wipe out everybody, huh

okay, so the shooting is as we knew, kind of

the first shot missed the mark, huh? quite curious, quite curious stray bullets are known to be deadly :D

alright, so that's a conversation that mostly confirmed what we already knew we have a new ally though, sort of

aand Lynne's empathy saves the day -_- like I said earlier, this guy's feelings aren't like... unique or anything, he just sucks at theory of mind

Kamila!!! so hey kiddo this guy in front of you is the guy who killed your mom

anyway, I'm still pretty sure Sissel hadn't yet introduced himself to you when you started calling him "Sissy" so there's that lead

and Kamila makes herself comfortable <3 I love this Little Lady so much <3

AWWWW THE RADIO THING <3 <3 <3

'and what about a torpedo' WHAT ABOUT A TORPEDO LYNNE THIS SOUNDS EXTREMELY UNSAFE

KAMILA ARE YOU KIDDING ME YOU'RE TOUGH AS FUCK

OMG IT'S A GRAPE SERVING MACHINE I LOVE THE LUXURIOUS FUCK THIS WAS MADE FOR

alright, torpedo room, that works

swap the switches to get them unstuck!!!

so I'm going to guess everyone there died, too, and Sissel's going to have to prevent that, too that makes perfect sense

that 'understand exactly how he feels' thing our!Sissel and evil!Sissel are really fucking different in this particular respect :D

awww and the girls convince the doggo <3 <3 <3

so, does Kamila know about the dawn deadline for all ghosts, or

oh thank god I didn't need to control that hop this game really has a policy of not having a permaloss option <3

Yomiel, huh so that's his name

alright, and 'Sissel' is an alias ...I'm just going to keep using it for the protag, just to make things slightly less confusing

ah, so this guy had access to national secrets, and that's how he did the singer thing

and he was proven innocent offscreen <3 <3 <3 stylish

stylish animation, nice

didn't help anybody? did you ever try? because our!Sissel sure figured that shit out quickly

welp, the blue guys are assholes but then, they were also kind of dealing with an asshole I can imagine why they didn't think he was reliable to deal with :x

awww, I like the leaflet guy so much <3 <3 <3

I love how Jowd's like 'well, I'm dead, are you happy now' and Sissel's like 'so anyway about that' FUCK death not tonight, not when Sissel's here <3 <3 <3

alright, and this guy's a robot that still doesn't quite he's pretty human-like >_> I am not a fan of the blue guy in charge is all I'm saying also lmao I nicknamed this one 'iron man dracula' i didn't mean it that way but

ah, remote-controlled, alright that 'farewell' was odd then

'your country's use of technology is just plain off' I LOVE THIS

could there have been two pieces of meteorite in this guy's body? okay, nope still!

OH WOW FOUR MINUTES BEFORE HIS DEATH THAT'S THAT'S ACTUALLY EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED FROM THE VERY BEGINNING EVEN THOUGH I THOUGHT THIS BODY BELONGED TO THE WRONG 'WHOM' THIS IS SOMEWHAT MORE AMBITIOUS THAN PLANNED BUT

...okay, no, his 'death' would actually be before the control room was launched, not all those years ago STILL THIS IS THE -EXACT- THING

alright anyway this is plenty of buildup WHO THE FUCK IS OUR PROTAGONIST it's funny how so far absolutely 0 of what we've seen has pointed to that I have plenty of odd thoughts in my mind ofc 'that guy from another point of time' being the prime one as a homestuck, the possibility of there being multiple ghosts of the same person doesn't faze me in the slightest in fact it seems like an intuitive conclusion BUT THEIR PERSONALITY SURE IS DIFFERENT

anyway, :D :D :D

Final Chapter

...aha! so it counted ten years ago after all! dang :D

aha, I see that mascot thing I see baby Lynne!!!

I note how for someone threatening to shoot the kid, Yomiel's gun sure is pointing in the wrong direction AND he's holding out the kid to the side, not between himself and Jowd SOMEONE sucks at hostage taking lmao

a kitty, huh

and then a meteorite, okay

I note the lamp

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Yomiel is thinking 'so maybe I'll die in another way and all this will have not happened, that's a better outcome anyway' isn't he god his faces are Sissel faces and look this game knows EXACTLY what it's doing with its visuals exactly one facial exression of Yomiel's has not matched Sissel's I doubt it's because of lazy artists

alright, so a good plan would be swapping the mascot and the lamp

but seriously, WOW Yomiel sucks at taking hostages this game's animation is always stellar and brilliant, there's NO fucking coincidence there he was absolutely not willing in any way to put baby Lynne in actual danger, even if he pretended he did and it worked on Jowd

anyway how the fuck do we get to the lamp

'we can talk about all this later' ARGUABLE TBH the entire, like, THING is going to change oh man is everyone going to go back to their bodies 10 years ago with their new memories because that's fucking hardcore was Kamila even BORN yet

augh I DONT KNOW I CANT REACH I THINK I CANT REACH ANYTHING WHAT DO I DO MISSILE IS IN THE SWEET POTATO ON THE FOUNTAIN SISSEL IS IN THE NOZZLE BUT NOT THE CENTRAL ONE AND CANT REACH THE CENTRAL ONE WHAT DO I DO

okay sounds like I missed my chance let's try that again

ghhhh okay I think I have figured this sequence out even though I have to rewind again 1) rock the basket 2) jump into nozzle to launch the potato 3) Sissel jumps into the potato and then from the potato to the central nozzle 4) Missile jumps into the potato 5) launch the potato x2

okay, Mino fell into the fountain, not that I know how this can help because AGAIN, Missile can't reach Mino from the lantern :x and Sissel can't do absolutely fucking anything

annd the finale is a cutscene alas

alright, let's try that again...

hum we didn't get a FATE CHANGE registered after dropping Mino might this mean we have to do something right in the process?

AW YEAH THAT DEFINITELY JUST HAPPENED LMAO

are we going to kill everyone by dropping Mino on them instead XD

trick time, huh Sissel still can't reach anywhere Missile can swap two identical lanterns, not that this does anything he can talk to Sissel, for what THAT's worth

aha, the lantern dropped, Missile can move around now, that's good

Sissel still can't do shit though

well, that's the detective's LEG, not... anything else or anything

oh man, yeah... YOUNG JOWD IS A DUMBASS man, even Yomiel isn't aiming at him anymore, he's like 'hey dude are you okay' so the theory that Sissel is alternate!Yomiel is really gaining steam in my head not that it wasn't the primary one all along but

AW FUCK YEAH MISSILE THE BULLET CATCHING BADASS DOGGO!!!

anyway sweet potato?

BOO YAH um or not

OR YES ACTUALLY THAT WORKS

OH MY FUCKING GOD YEP THE LAMPPOST FUCKING MINO

awwwwww and finally the trauma of remembering your death is brought up!!!! Sissel cares <3 <3 <3 (and Yomiel doesn't at the moment NOT THAT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT IN CONTEXT) (then again I'd understand it if Sissel didn't either but he's the purest being in existence so)

awwww Yomiel is finally going to contribute!!!

omfg lmao "Make it spray as if your life depended on it!" "Uh, I'm dead though" Yomiel is winning ALL the sensitivity awards tonight <3 <3 <3

I I think that Yomiel hasn't done anything yet oh, okay, we're still winning time

holy FUCK Yomiel that was definitely a thing you just did

dear Young Jowd, Yomiel is the one who saved her. Not gods

awwww and he gave baby Lynne a detective's badge <3 <3 <3 he's so good with children <3

so, can Yomiel be alive please :x ALRIGHT, HE IS THAT WORKS

THE KITTY DID THE METEORITE KILL THE KITTY

wait wait wait is is Sissel the kitty is that why he has no idea how guns work or anything else like that that that is truly fucking incredible f y'all's i AND I GUESS IT FITS WITH HIM AND MISSILE JUST GOING AROUND SAVING PEOPLE TOGETHER LIKE A BADASS DUO AND IT FITS WITH HIM GETTING KILLED BY LYNNE'S FIRST SHOT ON ACCIDENT I HONESTLY CONSIDERED A RAT OPTION FOR LIKE A SPLIT SECOND THERE

OMG OMG OMG OMG YE S AND HIS NAME REALLY IS SISSEL

god jesus fucking christ this this fucking game i just im howling this this definitely is a thing that just happened it owned me so hard im so fucking owned right now

yep hes the cat he's Yomiel's cat

aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww there's a good reason he had identity confusion in all this they WERE confusable as one being for a while

'her' huh?

oh man wow THIS particular part of the story sucks

so Sissel was a girl's name all along? okay

but also, FUCK no wonder he went bonkers specifically about being unable to die

'his powers couldnt help anybody' more like they couldn't help ONE SPECIFIC PERSON

so that bag is a kitty carrier huh and Lynne's miss accidentally killed the kitty

LMAO THE PART WHERE WE ALL THOUGHT LYNNE HAD KILLED THE PROTAG WASN'T WRONG

I DAMN FUCKING REMEMBER THAT CAT JUST FOR YALLS I I ABSOLUTELY REMEMBERED THERE WAS A CAT THERE I JUST NEVER LINKED IT TO ANYTHING I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A VERY PRETTY RANDOM STRAY

anyway Yomiel that's what you get for playing with guns they're deadly weapons and result in death you're fucking welcome

so anyway who the fuck is Ray

but anyway kitty Sissel saved everyone...

okay but hold on hold on hold on I didn't quite get the implications about the fiancee the first time around WHAT THE FUCK CAPCOM i was just recently thinking how fucked up it was that I remembered the last name of Polly Jenkins, just because of how much her brief story shook me

and uh I think is that also the implication here because that's not fucking okay

anyway so did Yomiel die as the result of that or nay bc that looked fucking deadly if not instantaneously so

god but this ffucking game

this fucking... game

oh Missile I'm pretty sure YOU are going to see HIM alright lmao wasn't Jowd taking him home

but also damn the original events of these ten years, as remembered by - a dog and a cat - Detective Jowd and Kamila (but not Alma, who never was brought back to life directly) - Lynne - Cabanela - the medical examiner - the minister of justice AND NO-ONE ELSE ...wait, no ALSO THE GUY FROM THE FUCKING PARK ...yep that's a thing we're doing

so another important thing is that the rock star kid is going to be okay and the curry guy, too nothing bad happened to them in this timeline, right?

ALRIGHT HI RAY WHAT/WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

(right now my bet's on 'a rat')

oh, Sissel also killed two people tonight, that happened

lmao and in this version of evens Missile died in the presence of Temsik

omfg and Ray is alternate!Missile this is fucking amazing <3

lmao his ghost aged and lost its powers?

also the dawn deadline was a lie he just wanted to get Sissel's butt moving I FUCKING KNEW IT

I love how Sissel's just "I DID WHAT" even though he's been doing that all evening this time around too

yup doggie's a fucking liar the only real time limit is the lifetime they would have had if they were alive huh damn

but seriously I called that before I started this section of the liveblog even if I think I never actually made that post 'what are the odds Ray is a fucking liar' I don't think I ever wrote that I kept getting distracted but yep I fucking called this

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART GOD I AM ;U; THIS DOGGO

anyway one participant of the events who definitely wasn't born yet 10 years ago is indeed Missile 0.0 how's that... gonna work...

but I do love that just... the justice minister, of all people, is also going to be in possession of those 10 years

OH MY FUCKING GOD LYNNE IS ABOUT TO HAVE A FUCKING HEART ATTACK I KNOW THERE'S NO GUN BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

KAMILA WHAT THE FUCK DON'T FUCKING DO THAT THAT'S ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING

aawwwwwww IT WORKED THIS TIME AROUND

'nice to meet you' OH BOY OH BOY I GET HOW IT WORKS NOW I THINK ...uh, I'm not sure how Lynne knew to flee from the junkyard then, but either way it looks like they're only getting back their memories at the PRESENT and that's why Kamila didn't fUCKING KNOW AND REMEMBER WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH DOING THAT JUST NOW

LMAO SOMETHING'S GOING TO EXPLODE TONIGHT

oh, nevermind, it's not that yet :D but it really does sound like it's going to :D right... about... dawn? :D

aww Jowd actually carries toy badges with him everywhere <3 <3 <3 'child handling tools'

still a kitten, huh yeah, that whole Temsik thing :D

aww, and here's her, all alive and everything

SO BIG MEMORYSPLOSION PLEASE

(at dawn) (it's fucking coming that's my headcanon and you can't beat it) (a bunch of people are going to become really fucking traumatized tonight)

hey!!! Missile!!! Cabanela brought him, huh

so, what's up with Yomiel, anyway

COME ON SISSEL MAKE NICE WITH MISSILE HE CAN'T CLIMB UP THERE

that guy's imitating Cabanela lmao

Memry <3 <3 <3

very best customer, huh

AWWW ITS THIS GUY HI GUY YOU'RE OKAY NOW WITHOUT YOMIEL TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU'RE JUST FINE

hah, and these two

.............................................yup. they died

'the indescretions of a minister perhaps?' I LOVE THIS FUCKING LADY I LOVE HER I LOVE HER

ah, these two what deal is it this time

the little rock sinter guy!!! yeah!!!!

hi medical examiner guy <3 guess you're not doing medicine after all huh

HI LEAFLET PARK GUY YOU ARE STILL CUTE

HI BAILEY

oh man oh man Yomiel :D hey are talking about Yomiel :D

SHOW ME HIS FIANCEE YOU COWARDS

lmao he's the painter this time even the robe sits the same

SO SHOW ME

OH YEAH OH YEAH HE REMEMBERS THATS THE PICTURE OF THE FUCKING CAT AND NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT

YUP YUP THIS IS IT lmao that crane i sure do remember it well it murdered two people tonight <3 <3 <3 kitty <3 <3 <3

aw yeah! in that picture with Missile!!!

#douche mcpointyglasses #is she dead #(for quite a while there the answer was 'basically yes')#cute shoes #dance dance inspector #the mysterious him #alba dracula #iron man dracula #sexy lamp #ddoggo!!!#those are all the character tags i remember #liliet plays ghost trick #this has been A FUCKING TRIP #i love this game

4 notes · View notes

abunchofbadchoices · 6 years ago

Text

Michael's Song

HSS Michael x MC (Jordan) in Midnight Sun AU

*Disclaimer: Most of the lines and scenes I got from the movie the Midnight Sun and all the rights belongs to the creators and writers, as well as the characters from PB. This is merely a converted fan fiction*

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Part Five

"That is so romantic it disgusts me." Maria mumbled from Jordan's bed, facing the ceiling with the book covering her face. She sits up suddenly, having been reminded of something. "What did he say about your XP?"

Jordan looks hopeless. The blonde had been sitting on the swivel chair this time, staring at the distance as she bites her lip to stop from smiling too much. The girl managed to respond after a few seconds, frowning. "It didn't came up."

Maria scowled. "What do you mean it didn't come up?"

"I-I didn't bring it up." Jordan shrugged. "I'm not gonna just randomly be like, 'Hey, dude, by the way, the sunlight's gonna..." She makes exploding gestures with her hands. "Like, look when you tell someone you're sick, then you start to become more like... a disease and less like a person. It's--"

She gazed at her pointedly.

"I'm gonna tell him, I promise, but I don't know when I'm gonna see him again."

"I do." Maria sighs in dismay, though she tried to hide it. "You know that annoying guy who works at the ice cream shop?"

"The nerdy one you're annoyed with? Well, scratch that, you're annoyed at everyone." Jordan rolls her eyes playfully, then points to herself. "Except for Jordan."

Her face feels like burning at the statement her best friend dropped. Does Jordan knows? Maria brushed it off and threw a pillow at Jordan. "Whatever, J. But yes, Aiden, his name. His parents-- a strict bunch, mind you-- are out of town tonight and he's throwing a party and he told me to bring friends. So, I'm gonna bring you--"

"No, no, no, no..."

"And you're gonna bring Michael."

"No!" Jordan stands, holding her hands up while shaking her head profusely. "He's gotta, like, you know... Doesn't... I have to wait till he texts me first, right?"

"Yeah, totally!" Maria smiles. Oh, Jordan, why are you so innocent... Usually, Maria wouldn't suggest such a forward move and what does she even know about dealing with a guy when she hadn't even get past her previous first dates but well, if it means putting this innocent bundle of dorkiness out of misery then hell yes, Maria will do something. She sits straighter, crossing her legs in a no-nonsense way and look at the girl with the most serious expression. "And then, you know, his squire will send a note via carrier pigeon asking if you'd like to merge your kingdoms. What is this, 18th century England? Listen, Jordan, you're a gorgeous, young, uh...badass woman. You're gonna text him whenever you damn well please."

The blonde stares at her. There is a blankness on her face.Maria dives through the pillows and locates a phone, then hands it to Jordan. "Be confident, okay? Give him the facts..."

"Okay." Jordan takes a deep breath and opens her message app. She follows Maria's instructions to be confident and... among other things.

Down at the town's shipyard, Michael hears the ping of his phone while he was in the midst of scrubbing the stains from the side of his uncle's boat. He wipes his hands on his shirt, which was already drench in sweat after working for hours on that boat under the blaring sky. There is a message from Jordan. Michael couldn't help the smirk on his lips.

Hey. My friend is having a party tonight if you want to come.

"Play a little hard to get." Maria whispers.

Jordan starts another message. "All right."

Michael receives another message before he can even type a reply.

I don't care if you come or not.

He raised his eyebrows.

Maria scoots closer to her. "Make sure that he knows he's not the only reason you're going."

"Okay. Alright."

Back at the shipyard, Michael receives the third message that made him laugh louder than he intended to.

I have lots of friends.

- Jordan

The messages stops coming so he takes that as a cue to answer back.

Maria took the phone from her best friend to see the messages she sent and instantly freezes as soon as she reads them. "Oh, no. What's this??"

Hey. My friend is having a party tonight if you want to come.

I don't care if you come or not.

I have lots of friends.

- Jordan

Maria doesn't know where to face palm or something, but before she dies of second-hand embarrassment, a new message came to Jordan's screen.

I'm in.

▪️▪️▪️

"This is gonna be a tame, safe, parent-friendly party." Maria called after Scott. Jordan has been trailing behind the two as they walk from the kitchen to the living room.

"Ha!" Her Dad turns as they reach the door. "It's a totally lame party. You know what we should do? We should stay here. We'll get Hunan Chinese. You guys love Hunan, right?"

She and Maria groaned.

"Put some Netflix on. It will be perfect!"

The three of them went on full circle around the house until finally, they ended up in the kitchen once more. Scott open the fridge to check for snacks. But Jordan reached out and pushes it close. She musters a determined look on her face. "Dad, you know I'm a good kid. You know I'm not gonna do anything crazy, but I swear, if I spend one more night here-- just listening to everyone else outside my window, living their lives-- I might... go... crazy!"

Scott knits his eyebrows, then look at Maria for back up but the raven-haired young woman simply shrugs.

Jordan continues. "Tomorrow night, we can order way too much chow mein, and have a movie marathon."

Her father's eyes move from her to Maria then back. Probably calculating the consequences before he lets out a heavy breath. "All right."

"Yes!" Jordan hugs her father tightly. "You're the best Dad in the world."

Maria gestured for her to follow and they rush upstairs to her room and the girl starts rippling through her clothes.

"Okay, um, Michael's gonna meet us at Aiden's around 8:00." Jordan reminded her.

"Then we have to get ready."

"Girl, what are you talking about? We have like three hours."

Maria suddenly turns and glare at her. She almost forgot her best friend has been Student Council President at Oliver Berry High for two years. She was all about organizing stuffs, especially parties. And Jordan knows better than to counter her when in the midst of looking for an appropriate attire for her. "Danielle Jordan Lee, we're already behind."

She watched helplessly, but after about ten minutes, Maria raised a light-blue lacy dress from her closet that she doesn't even know exists. Their eyes meets, then their faces lights up in agreement. Two hours and fifty minutes later, they are both dressed up and perfectly groomed for the night. Her father's expression as soon as she steps out of her room was priceless, but also a bit of longing in his eyes as Jordan was aware how much she resembles her late mother.

They said their goodbyes quickly and outside the door, Maria stops her and looks at her up and down. "You look beautiful. Good."

"Aren't you looking good yourself." Jordan smiles back, taking her best friend's hand then ran to the car already parked at the curb.

It was a short drive to the Zhou Family house and at exactly 8:00, the two girls are making their way up the decorated porch of the two storey house. For a party, Jordan finds it weird that the house seems quiet. Parties were never quiet, according to the teen flick movies she watched, but maybe this one haven't really started.

The door open just as they reached it, an Asian guy grinning at the sight of them both. "You came." His face falters soon after, looking at Maria nervously. "Is there any chance that you, or your hot friend, hey, know how to get beer... out of a keg?"

"Oh, no." Maria's smile dissolves. She shoves past the guy and looks even more furious to see the house is empty. "You didn't get a tap??"

Aiden scratch the back of his neck, following them inside. "I-- I didn't realize they were separate things-- why would they sell me a barrel of beer I can't even access?"

This party is a complete disaster, Maria fumed. She went to the kitchen and glances back to see Jordan touching the colorful decorations in awe. Aww, this sweet sweet girl... But still, Maria couldn't believe she entrusted Aiden to plan a party by himself. And worst, she actually showed up and dared to expect something good.

At the kitchen, they find two other people she recognized were from Music club at Berry High. Myra and Luis are busy tinkering the keg to open...to no avail. They glance up and waved awkwardly.

"AIDEN!" Maria called sharply. "What the hell? This is a tame, safe, parent-friendly party!"

Aiden backed away slowly. "Do tame parties have sundae bars?"

"I think it's cool." Jordan joins in, beaming excitedly.

"No, don't listen to her." Her best friend hissed at Aiden. "Okay, she's never been to a party before. She doesn't understand how dire the situation is. We gotta go, Jordan." Maria grab her hand and turns to go.

"No, no, no! I just made a huge thing of chili." Aiden reasoned.

"Aiden, chili is not a party food."

Their conversation was cut off by the sound of car engine shutting off and its door opening and closing.

"You see?" The Asian points outside. "The party's just kicking off."

They all rushed down the stairs to see who actually decided to show up. A blue pick-up truck was parked outside and a guy in a green bomber jacket is walking towards the house.

"What's Michael Harrison doing here?" Aiden wonders in disbelief.

"My God..." Maria rubs her face in frustration just as she felt someone came up behind her.

Michael stops for a second as soon as he caught sight of Jordan, a genuine smile lighting on his face and even blink a few times, as if he couldn't believe what he is looking at.

"Hi." Jordan greets, a bashful smile on her lips.

▪️▪️▪️

Another hour passed and the trio still hadn't managed to open the keg.

Michael and Jordan sits on porch chairs, just making small talks while Maria stays not far from them like a guarding hawk.

His eyes studies every detail of the beautiful face just inches away from him. "You look really amazing."

"Um... it's all Maria." Jordan said quietly, looking down on her lap and it makes him think that maybe, him acting weird makes her shy.

Michael isn't much into praising people, or voicing out opinions in general. Usually, he goes to a party, hang out with people regardless if they look good as long as they don't bother him too much. But he couldn't help it if she happens to look so amazing this night. Or every night for that matter. Whether Jordan is dressed in sweat pants or oversized clothes, or designer dress... She manages to make it all look really good.

"No... I don't think so." He whispers.

"For you, good sir!" Aiden's loud voice interrupts. The guy hands each of them some bowls.

Michael clears his throat and imitates the Asian's tone. "Ah. Thank you! Beef chili, huh?"

Jordan thanks him as well. She watch Maria taste the beef chili and almost burst out laughing at the disgusted look on her best friend's face. Feeling kinder, Michael scoops some mouthfuls and shoves it into his mouth. He makes a show of enjoying it. "That's top shelf, buddy. Really fresh."

He turns to Jordan with a sour face, forcing the chili down his throat. The blonde let out a quiet giggle.

Aiden takes a seat across from them. "You know, I really thought we'd have a big turnout but--"

"I told you not to go up against the cheerleader." Myra scolded from the corner.

"What cheerleader?" Maria asks.

Luis fixed his eyeglasses. "It's the mean blonde one with a convertible."

The girl rolls her eyes. "Giselle Collins? Ughhh."

Now that it was mentioned, Michael was indeed invited over by Giselle to her major graduation party which must have been tonight. He had completely forgotten about it as he was not really planning to go anywhere that night. That was, until he received the certain messages this afternoon.

"Yes." Aiden pouts. "She's having a party tonight as well. Must have dinged our turnout."

Michael puts down his bowl. "Do you guys wanna go there?"

To be continued...

▪️▪️▪️

Giselle's party coming next 😆😆

#playchoices #choices #high school story #hss #hss book 1 #hss book 2 #hss book 3 #maria flores #michael harrison #michael x mc #caleb mitchell #maria x mc #aiden zhou

5 notes · View notes

izziebash · 7 years ago

Text

Get Out and Stay Out | STI

Who: @izziebash, @tiaisms, @sagegothel

When: Saturday, July 14th

Where: A hotel in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

What: After hooking up with Huntley, Izzie comes back to the STI hotel room expecting her friends to be happy for her. What she gets, though, is the farthest from what she expected.

Izzie tucked her touseled blonde hair behind her ear, exhaling for what felt like the first time all night. It had been such an eventful day — Dollywood finally, and then she snuck off to visit Huntley’s hotel room when Tia and Sage had fallen asleep. Mostly because she couldn’t sleep, and also...this whole trip made her want to get to know him a little better. He was cute and tall and funny, and he seemed interested in her, too. This whole trip being all flirty with her every chance he got, and Izzie couldn’t lie that she liked the attention. She’d never been the one who got attention from anyone whenever it was just the three of them. It was nice. And so she didn’t necessarily go to his hotel room expecting to have sex with him, but when one thing led to another, she left it with some experience that was definitely worth bragging to L’ogan about and nerdily screaming with her best friends about. She opened the door with her key card and flipped on the lights, picking up the nearest pillow off the floor and hitting the two sleeping girls with it excitedly. “Wake up wake up wake up!” Izzie exclaimed, before standing on a nearby chair, a perfect pedestal to declare her news. “I totally just had sex with Huntley!” She punctuated the declaration with a girly squeal.

Sage had been sleeping for quite literally hours. Dollywood like, totally wore her out. It was mostly because Tia dragged them around all day pointing out different things that Sage knew she should care about because it would make Tia happy, but in reality she basically had no clue what they were. Don't get her wrong, she loved Dolly Parton as much as the next millennial teen, but she'd totally been texting her super cool and chill boyfriend Wayland all day and had definitely not listened to anything Tia said beyond taking a mental note of the food stands to avoid. Just as she was about to get into a totally steamy dream scene with her current celeb crush, 100 pounds of Izzie shook her awake. "Huh?" She asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes so they'd adjust better. She didn't know if that actually worked, but people did it in movies so it had to count for something. After she fully processed what Izzie said, she sat up quickly. "What?" She half-yelled, instantly regretting it because, ew, morning breath. "You had sex with Huntley?" She hissed, covering her mouth to minimize the possible odor. "Oh my Godmother! How was it? Is this going to be weird? He doesn't think we all want to have sex with him right? Because I totes have a boyfriend and like, cheating probably isn't a cool thing to do."

Tia didn't appreciate being woken up in the slightest. Not only because she just hated her sleep being interrupted after a full and exciting time at Dollywood the day before, she also just wasn't all that interested in hearing anything from Izzie while she was still inexplicably getting all the attention she felt like she deserved from Huntley even while she was purposely keeping a little distance to their soft friends with minor benefits arrangement. Since she felt like it wasn't entirely Izzie's fault that the stupid boy was playing, what Tia assumed to be, the most basic form of hard to get, she left her sleep mask on and sleepily sat up in bed anyway to listen to her friend speak. After Izzie revealed that Huntley's new Izzie thing apparently WASN'T a play for her attentions, she felt her cheeks and chest warming with a blush fueled from a mixture of rage and some mild embarrassment. She almost wanted to hit Sage for asking so many questions but instead, she took her mask off and folded it into her hands on her lap and sighed as if the news wasn't worth waking up for. "At least when Sage lost her virginity she had the decency to do it while we were all awake. "She replied in an almost bored tone, purposely letting out a soft yawn for emphasis.

Izzie held her face with her hands, trying to cool down her burning cheeks and keep from smiling, but she couldn't. That was, until neither of her friends was smiling and squealing with her. "Oh -- sorry," she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear bashfully, biting her lip while still giggling from pure giddiness. "But no, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to have sex with all of us -- I think he likes me. Me," Izzie repeated the word moreso to herself, because it was still so strange that someone like him would be so interested in her. But this was -- as far as Tia and Sage knew -- her virginity they were talking about! She figured the girls would at least be a little happier. Izzie stepped off of the chair, hugging the pillow to her chest and gave a shrug. "I mean, it's still like super weird that it even happened but it was so nice, and felt surprisingly really good...? And it was like, way more fun than I expected! Aren't you guys happy for me?" She raised her brows, expecting at least somewhat of a reaction from her friends, but all she found was an all-too-familiar sinking feeling in her stomach that made her feel like she did something wrong.

Sage usually looked to Tia for how to react in these kinds of situations, but the blonde looked like she was even sleepier than Sage still was. At least, she must be sleepy, right? Because Sage had been confused, but Tia like... didn't seem to care at all. She remembered how hurt her own feelings had been when she'd gotten like, less than warm comments about Wayland from her bestie, so she figured she'd just give Tia some more time to get to awake-ville while she turned up her excitement for Izzie instead. "Oh my gosh, no, of course I'm excited for you! I just like, had to make sure I understood what was happening first, but if it's not like an 'I drove you all so you owe me sex' kind of thing and it's actually like a 'I'm a boy who finally appreciates how awesometastic Izize is' kind of thing then I'm super here for it!" Sage squealed, reaching out to hug her friend finally. "He's like, super hot too, oh em gee! And you even got to do it in a bed, right? So you were super comfy?"

Tia waited patiently until Sage was done to completely ruin everyone's mood. "Actually, I feel sorry for you, Iz. Huntley doesn't like you. At least not that much, anyway. He's been super into me since we were practically babies and we've been sort of making out lately, that's why he even brought us to Dollywood. Because Ilove Dolly Parton and you guys. I thought it was kind of obvi, so I had sorta been cold shouldering him the whole trip and I guess he wanted comfort from the next best blonde. You." Tia replied, with a half apologetic pout and shrug directed towards Izzie. Tia was way harsher than she ever needed to be in breaking the news to her alleged bestie, but something about the way the other girl had repeated the "me" when informing them of Huntley's affections brought out a degree of jealousy and desire to crush her flat that Tia didn't even know she was capable of feeling. "It kinda makes sense why he'd go for you, we have been kinda twinsying super hard since you dyed your hair the same color as me."

Izzie smiled with relief, engulfed in Sage's hug and glad that she'd been given that little bit of affirmation from her friend. But then Tia spoke up, and the smile nearly melted off of Izzie's face. Tia's words weren't making sense -- well, they were, but it sounded too mean to be Tia. She was never so mean to her, so it took Izzie some time to actually process what she had said. "Next best blonde?" she repeated, a hand self-consciously tugging at her locks as she let go of Sage to face Tia and actually talk through this. A little worried that the words that were rising up in her throat were going to match Tia's venom, Izzie plastered a smile on her face. "You don't know what he likes. He's been flirting with me like, this entire trip, and if you've been making out with him, why didn't you tell us? You tell us everything! So don't feel sorry for me, because I did way more than make out with him so I showed him what he was missing, I guess." she shrugged before placing a hand on her hip, still trying to fathom that Huntley and Tia had been....hooking up? And she had no inkling from either of them that it happened.

Sage still had her arms around Izzie when she registered what Tia was saying, and her head snapped to her friend, her eyes filled with hurt. Izzie had been nice enough to run straight here and tell them like, super mega huge news, and Tia had been... keeping secrets from them? Had they done something wrong? Was it because stupid Charlie was back and Tia didn't need them anymore because she had like, a better person to share her life with? Sage tried to clutch onto Izzie tighter, to cling to the one friend she knew she was never, ever going to lose to somebody else, and she opened her mouth to talk -- to say something, to remind Izzie and Tia that they were both the best blondes and that best friends could share everything and that it was totally okay... but then Izzie was pushing her away, and all Sage could do was hug her arms around her own chest and watch the fireworks. All she could do was hope that things didn't really explode.

Tia rolled her eyes at Izzie. "Well yeah, you're great but you're not me. Yanno?" She said, feeling the tiniest bit bad about that jibe when Izzie looked really cute as a blonde. "But I do know that we're legit in my favorite place to visit because of Huntley wanting to get with me. He flirted with you because you liked it and it clearly made him feel wanted. I haven't even told Charlie about me making out with him after my party, it was a complicated situation." Tia semi explained, not really having that great a reason for why she'd kept the little hook ups to herself. Other than embarrassment about something that wasn't even a factor anymore thanks to Huntley's reinvention. "You're not better than me for having sex with him, you're just sluttier. And that's exactly why I feel sorry for you. You just gave up your v-card to a guy that would totes drop you like a bad sushi if I went over there and said I wanted to go farther. What'sa couple of days when we've had our whole lives?"

Izzie scoffed. Tia's ego had always been huge, but never directed toward her or Sage. She was taken aback and hurt, but also furious that Tia would try to take something so special from her over a boy she apparently didn't even want. "Exactly. You had your whole life to claim Huntley, but instead, you decided to waste four years on a guy who'd choose the ocean over you -- and has chosen the ocean over you -- a million times. At least I didn't lose my v-card to a guy who'd dump me on our anniversary. Maybe I made Huntley feel wanted because you didn't! Because you didn't actually want him! You just wanted someone to kiss your butt until Kai comes crawling back and you decide that you guys belong together again. Right, Sage?" Izzie couldn't believe she was speaking so bluntly to Tia, but she called her slutty! She didn't even say that to Sage when she did anal with Lui. She held onto Sage's hand, squeezing it tightly, trying to suppress the rage that was building up inside of her, and hoping that her friend would agree.

Sage could only let her mouth open and close like a goldfish as she watched the harsh words fly between her two best friends. It was so not like them, to lash out at each other and say such mega-mean things. It kind of reminded her of how she felt when she tried to talk of Kori, not of the safe, happy feeling she usually got from being around Tia and Izzie. And like... she really hoped she didn't have to choose a side, because as much as she usually was willing to follow Tia's lead on anything, Izzie was always the smart one, right? So didn't that mean Izzie was right? "Keeping boys secrets is never like, nice to them. Or nice to the bffs that you're keeping secrets from, but whatevs. If you aren't like, proud of them being your boytoy then you don't have dibs, right? I mean, I like... didn't have dibs on Wayland for a long time because I was embarrassed," Sage offered lamely into the conversation. It didn't quite relate, but she'd never shared a boy with her best friends quite like this before and she didn't know what to tell them. She still squeezed Izzie's hand harder, though, the sting of Tia keeping a secret outweighing everything else for her. Personally, she thought Huntley was super annoying and not worth fighting over, but this was Tia and Izzie's battle, and she was just caught in the middle praying to fix it. "And uh... I mean, just because you got a headstart doesn't mean that Izzie isn't super great, too, T! Maybe he likes you both the same now?"

Tia glared hard at both of them, fighting like crazy to not let the tears welling up in her eyes actually leak out so Izzie couldn't see how she was effecting her emotions. "You have no right to bring Kai up right now. But if you really wanna go there I can take it there. At least I can get guys to like me at all, Izzie. Kai might pick his family over me but at least I can get a boy to love me. What do you have, huh? A boy who dumped you once you learned how to stop dressing like an extra on glee? The boy I set you up with who didn't like you either even though we all know he mostly only likes blondes? Or even worse the boy who only brought you on the trip because he wants to bang your best friend? I don't know about you but I'd still go for Kai every time." Tia didn't even bother acknowledging Sage. Once Sage chose Izzie over her, it didn't even matter. Sage's entire existence was nothing more than noise. "But Kai and I are really are done for good, so dibs or no dibs, sex or no sex, wonder which of us is going to have a better chance actually dating Huntley?"

Izzie grit her teeth, squeezing Sage's hand even harder once Tia pulled out the card that she prayed she wouldn't. They knew that she was insecure about that -- well, then, of course, she knew that Tia was insecure about Kai, and she still pulled that card. But only because Tia was being a spoiled brat, like always. "Ugh, you're so spoiled! Little Miss Louisiana just can't handle not having everything! You get all the attention, all the clothes and the shoes and the cheer captain title, and you guys are always telling me to be more outgoing and try more things, and when I finally get one thing, you want to take it from me! I would have had a better chance at dating Huntley if I'd never even told you, because now you finally know that I'm a threat." She let go of Sage's hand, finally getting the courage to walk up to Tia and look her in the eye to say what she'd been wanting to say for months. "You're right, T. We have been twinning since I went blonde. But you know what? I'm pretty, I'm nice, and I'm smart. I'm beating you three to one right now. I should've known you wouldn't be able to handle it."

Sage hopped up instantly, worried that Izzie and Tia were about to get into a real actual fight. She would have no idea what to actually do if slaps started flying, but she wanted to be ready just in case she did need to jump in between them. The mean things they kept saying to each other were almost worse, though; handprints on your face totally healed, but she wasn't sure if the like, heart-hurts they were inflicting would. "You guys, boys both like you a super lot! There are other boys!" Sage attempted, not even sure her words were heard over the tension in the room. Tia and Izzie couldn't friend break up, besides Wayland they were the only people she had and even with Wayland, they were the only ones she really felt like she came first to. If she had to choose between them, Sage had a feeling that she might like, almost die. "Come on, can't we just like... do a boy draft or something and pick ones you each want to keep for yourselves and then everything will be fine? You're both the greatest, and this is just one like, tall but kind of weird boy, there'll be other ones!"

Tia stood immediately after Izzie started gritting her teeth, because if it was going to turn into a smackdown she wasn't going to be caught unaware."Is this what this is about then? You being jealous that I get things? It's not my fault that people want to pay attention to me more than you or that I got cheer captain when you didn't even try out for the stupid team! I've always been outgoing and cool and the best, without anyone's help, mind you. I'm happy that you're finally trying to step up to my level. But do not get it twisted, Isabella. You are not now, nor will you ever be, a threat to me." Tia's fists clenched up as Izzie stepped up to her and she got so ready to rip into her once she called her stupid. Tia knew she wasn't the smartest person around by any means and that a lot of people knew it too, but she never would've guessed that her own best friend was out here thinking it too. If she wasn't so aggressively angry right then, she'd be unbelievably sad about it, but that emotion could be saved for later. "I'd back away from me right now if I were you. You think you're nicer than me? You do not want to push me into proving you right, right now. I'm not sure Huntley would find you too pretty with a broken nose."

Izzie shrugged off Sage's attempts at consoling her. "This isn't about a boy anymore, Sage, this is about Tia thinking she's better than everyone and me finally not being willing to listen to it anymore. The only thing you're the best at, Tia, is being the snobbiest, stuck-up little brat who can't keep a boyfriend or a sister for more than a few months. We're the only people who have been there for you through everything, but guess what! You need me so much more than I need you. Without me and Sage, you're just the same sad, friendless, poor little rich girl from Freshman year." She did back off when Tia told her to, mostly because she was almost ready to cry, and didn't want things to turn physical and make it so much worse. Izzie started grabbing her things, tossing her clothes haphazardly into her suitcase. "I don't need you anymore. I've got my cousins, I've got Vivi..." She chuckled to herself, then, suddenly reminded of something. "God. You suddenly deciding you want to be with Huntley after having nearly twenty years to do it would be like if Wayland finally liked Vivi back. Ridiculous," she shook her head, forgetting in her moment of rage that her friends didn't exactly know that about Vivi. And when she realized that she'd kind of revealed a little secret, she hoped Sage wouldn't notice and just packed her things faster.

Sage usually hated feeling invisible, although just this once, it was almost better. In their hurry to be mad at each other, at least Tia and Izzie didn't seem to be mad at her... Maybe that meant she could still be friends with both of them, even if the worst happened and they never talked to each other again after today. That would be major suckville, but it would be better than losing one of them at least. Sage chewed on the inside of her cheek, knowing there was no point in saying anymore as she watched insults hurled back and forth. Finally, finally Sage felt like she could breathe again as Izzie seemed to gather her things to go... except, she tried to figure out who she was supposed to follow. Had she been too Team Izzie earlier? Was she supposed to be Team Tia now to balance it out? Izzie had kind of been meaner at the end, so maybe it was okay to switch? Her confusion ebbed away quickly, though, when she caught what Izzie was saying, and she whirled to face her friend, practically screaming, "WHAT?" Her heart was racing as Izzie confirmed all of her worst fears, and she stared at her so-called bestie in disbelief that she'd had this information all along and had let Sage stupidly ramble for a year without ever saying anything. "I knew it, I knew she liked him, and you -- you just SAT there and let me let her take him to PROM wearing MY color and... oh my God, do you even like me, or were you just trying to sabotage me and Wayland this whole time? How could you not tell me?" Sage asked, turning towards Tia for backup. She'd been so good at fighting before, maybe she could do a better job of yelling at Izzie for her than Sage could do for herself?

Tia didn't say anything as Izzie backed off to start packing her things and leave. She was glad to have her gone before she did actually go off and hit her in the face. She did however make a small gasp of surprise as Izzie revealed that Vivi did actually like Wayland back. Now that was interesting. Whenever she or Sage expressed concerns about Vivi and Wayland's super tight friendship, Izzie had straight up denied it. So Tia was straight up tickled when Izzie revealed that she was out here betraying BOTH of them. When Sage turned to Tia for backup, Tia simply raised an eyebrow back. "What do you want me to do, S? You're on Izzie's side here and this entire time she wasn't even on yours. What do you want me to do about it? Apparently I don't have any friends and now neither do you." Tia laughed meanly, before getting out of bed in order to distance herself even further from Sage.

Izzie sat wide-eyed when Sage turned on her, too. To her, it was never even a huge deal. She knew her cousin -- he was a good guy. He wouldn't cheat on Sage with his oldest friend, that would be awful. "I just found out a few months ago, S. Chill. Besides, Vivi isn't the boyfriend-stealing type. She's nice. She's just liked him for our entire lives, and for some reason he likes you better so you don't have anything to worry about. Vivi's my friend, too, so sorry for having other friends whose secrets I'm expected to keep!" Izzie rolled her eyes and zipped her suitcase, finally ready to leave. "You guys want me out of your lives so bad? Fine, the train station is nearby and I'm finding a Walt Express right now." She figured she could have just gone across the hall and maybe convinced Huntley to drive her, but knowing what she knew about him now, maybe Tia was right. He didn't really care, he just used her to get closer to Tia. Something kept her feet rooted to the ground, though, as she waited for her ex-friends' last words, part of her hoping they'd all just burst into tears and beg her to stay.

Sage blinked at Tia in surprise. Okay, so she hadn't like, totally backed her up, but she also hadn't totally been Team Izzie, either. She'd tried really hard to be Team Neutral and now apparently the only team left for her to be on was Team Sage, since nobody else wanted her on their side anymore. She wished she could go back in time and re-choose, though, because Tia's secret was like way less awful than Izzie's was, and she wanted to just hug her and keep Tia, at least. But it was too late -- she didn't even know what to focus on, but she let Tia telling her she had no friends slide to turn on Izzie. "For some reason? For SOME reason? You make it sound like I'm so super unlikeable, Iz, so fine! If you think I'm so terrible, then you're terrible too!" Sage sniffled, hugging her arms around her chest and not sure what to do. "And you can't find the Walt Express, because I have to find it first and hope that somebody will pay for me to get on the stupid train because I have no friends and no money now, and this whole stupid trip is the worst just like you!" She turned back to Tia, who was still standing there like she was too good for them -- had both of them just thought Sage was their dumb tagalong that wasn't good enough to be their friend this whole time? Since they obviously cared about stupid boys and stupid Vivi and everyone else more than her. Sage grabbed her own things, feeling smaller than she'd felt since back in the days of being locked up in a tower, and as she threw her own bag over her shoulder and stomped towards the door, she tried to think of one last parting word, wanting to get in a mean jab just like both of them had. Struggling to come up with anything better, she shouted, "Besides, I'm prettier than both of you!" as she flung the door open and walked out into the hallway, wondering if she could like, pay her Uber driver with a couple of inches worth of her hair or something so that she could get home.

Tia wasn't exactly planning on saying anything otherwise as Izzie was leaving. She could absolutely rot in hell for all Tia cared. But Sage? Sage's "betrayal" hurt worse. As much as she loved the two equally, she could admit that she felt a little more loyalty towards Sage and expected about the same considering how hard and often she busted her ass for the other girl, winning her prom queen, moving her into her cottages, buying her shoes and all sorts of favors over the course of their friendship. Obviously Tia had never expected or even wanted repayment, but Sage hanging onto Izzie's side during the worst fight of their friendship was inexcusable. Still knowing how easy it was for Sage to just offer up sexual favors in exchange for the things she needed, Tia didn't hesitate to grab her wallet. Turning briefly to glare again at Izzie, Tia spoke to her for the last time. "I'm going to give Sage some money before we have to find out about her on the news and then I'm going across the hall to get Huntley. Be gone by the time we get back here."

Izzie clenched her teeth, clutching onto the handle of her suitcase until her knuckles turned white. “Good. That’s a good idea,” she agreed with Tia timidly, avoiding eye contact with either girl. She didn’t want Sage to go around prostituting either, and had actually considered fake-dropping a ten-dollar bill on the ground for Sage as she left, but when Tia reached for her wallet first, she didn’t feel like she had to. But just because she agreed with her didn’t mean she was going to let Tia’s last words in this fight be telling her what to do. “I’ll do you one better — you’ll get to watch me leave.” Turning on her heel and holding onto the handle even tighter, Izzie held her chin up and walked calmly out of the room, and into the hallway. Well, as calmly as she could when she felt her shoulders shaking and her face crumple up into a sob. So the STI part of her life was over...and that was okay. She’d live. At least, she hoped she would.

#( interaction: tia )#( feat: tia )#( interaction: sage )#( feat: sage )

4 notes · View notes