#the rest of us went from “okay enough with the cringey joke”
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khyann · 2 years ago
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remember when we thought the whole child thing between joel and sausage was a cringe joke? how the turned tables huh
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motherismotheringggg · 24 days ago
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SLOW BURN
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okay wow my first public fic — i’m terrified so pls be kind but feedback is OF COURSE welcome!!
type: female reader x nicholas chaves x cooper koch
(^this is the greed they talked about in the bible 🤭)
tags/warnings: 18+; nsfw; smut lite; kissing; fingering; groping (i think that’s it!!)
word count: 7317 (i was gonna post it in parts but i changed my mind)
*used AI to help organize structure
pt.2 out now!!!!
⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️
You and your friend Vanessa laughed as you walked into the cafeteria of Camp White Water from a joke that had you both laughing since you both got ready and started heading toward the first day of camp counselor training.
This was your second summer of being a camp counselor at this month-and-a-half long sleep away camp. And you always looked forward to it, the leadership staff was always kind, the campers were actually not too bad and the other counselors were your favorite. All of the returners had become super close and it was super exciting to be reconnected with them when summer rolled around.
This year there were a few new counselors because of the amount of campers that were coming in this summer, particularly in your group. That being said, you were given two new co-counselors.
You and Vanessa were still in stitches about whatever joke had been continuing when you got closer to your assigned table, you noticed your name card with your name between two other name cards, one read “Nicholas Chaves” and the other “Cooper Koch”.
“Whoa..two news guys?” You were surprised, you expected to at least have another returner on your side, “Do they think I’m responsible enough to train two newbies?” you chuckled as you sat on the cafeteria bench.
“Well if they’re dumb and hot, send them over to the young eagles team, I’d love to have fresh meat”, Vanessa gestured to her table with Gene who was the oldest camp counselor and a bit of a gangly man who meant well but wasn’t exactly summer camp eye candy.
You both looked in his direction and giggled, “Hey Gene! You look ripped this summer. I’ll send her over to you in a second” you called out, causing Vanessa to laugh even harder.
As you both continued cackling in a room full of lively conversation, the group of new counselors walked in, it was tradition that the current counselors applaud them as a bit of a harmless hazing ritual.
You clapped and laughed with your friend as the newbies looked around excited but nervously for their name tags. In the middle of your giggling, you noticed two men stopped at your table and started settling in, “this must be them” you thought.
Copper was tall and broad. He had hazel brown eyes and deep brown curly hair. He was wearing a gray zip-up hoodie and tennis shorts and you could tell from his leg muscles that he was in good shape. He had soft features that made you feel immediately calm and at ease - safe almost.
Nicholas was the opposite, he had straight hair and darker eyes. His face was very chiseled, his jawline was impeccable. He had a defined and muscular physique, which stood out even when he’s dressed casually in his shorts and long sleeve college shirt.
He was also tall with broad shoulders but his muscles were more pronounced - a strong chest, and visible arm muscles that give him a commanding presence.
“Hey guys, I’m Y/N”! Cooper went for a handshake, which was too formal for you, without thinking you went in for a hug. You figured you’d get close through the summer like the rest of the counselors.
Cooper was caught off guard but quickly adjusted to the hug, Nicholas was a little reserved but even with just a side hug you felt his biceps take you in completely. They sat on either side of you and you started talking about your experience at the camp the group you’ll have this year.
The camp director gave some opening remarks and then the assistant director had you all start with those cringey ice breakers. He went around and gave out a stack of cards to each group that had random questions on it.
When he got your table, he said “Ah Y/N, happy to see you back again! Boys you’re in good hands, she’s a pro.” You playfully shooed him away to be humble. “I mean it, but you also have some star athletes next to you. Cooper and Nicholas were both finalists in the west end tennis conference and since you’re working on rec fit this year, it should be perfect!”
“Tennis boys huh?” you gestured to your co- counselors, “I knew those builds weren't for nothing” you jokingly nudged both of them in the side. Cooper giggled and you finally got Nick to crack a smile and loosen up.
The ice breakers were stupid but kind of fun and they opened up more conversation; “if you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?” turned into you three talking about your families, “what three things would you need on a deserted island” turned into talking about your favorite vacation spot and “what;s your morning routine” let the guys start to talk about their training which you found…hot. The way they describe conditioning and training completely hypnotized you, like you could understand it but just barely. And watching them interact was a real treat, Cooper was very funny and lighthearted but still very direct and expressive in his words. Nicholas was very sincere in everything and said it with such conviction, even if he was joking it came out so earnestly you thought he was being serious.
Later, for training you all got to wander the camp site as groups. The three of you found yourselves sitting on one of the picnic benches along the trail route, the ice was finally broken so the conversation flowed very casually.
It started to get a little warmer out, too warm for a hoodie so both you and Cooper took yours off. Cooper was wearing a tank top that revealed even more of his physique and you were wearing a stretchy tank top body suit. Realizing this was the first time they've seen your arms, they noticed you had a few tattoos and were both instantly intrigued. "You have tattoos?" Cooper asked, his voice more excited than you expected.
"Yeah, just a few!” You started pointing them out to Cooper while he walked around your body to get a closer look at each one. “I got this one with one of my friends, they are not quite matching but they’re similar” you went on.
Nicholas was also listening to you talk about your tattoos but he wasn’t as outwardly interested as Cooper was. He mostly just nodded in approval after you explained each tattoo. It wasn’t until you bent a certain way to show Cooper a different tattoo that your tennis skirt raised a little, revealing the very bottom of a tattoo on your thigh. "Is that… another one?" Nicholas asked, gesturing to your thigh, catching you off guard.
You blinked. "Oh, yeah," you replied, laughing lightly. "Good eye." You hadn’t expected him to notice that one—it was usually pretty hidden. But it wasn’t awkward and you were happy he actually spoke. “Yeah it’s just my zodiac constellation, I just thought it was cute, maybe a little stupid to get that tatted but I like it”
“I don’t think it’s stupid,” Nicholas replied, more confidently this time. Cooper nodded in agreement.
“In fact,” Nicholas stood up and took off his bookbag “As long as we’re showing off our sick ink…”. You and Cooper’s eyes widened, you had no idea what this man, who had been fairly silent this whole time, was about to show. He took off his shirt and revealed his perfect abs. They looked like they were chiseled from marble but also soft like flesh. You cleared your throat and gathered yourself. You glanced over at Cooper who was equally entranced by Nicholas’ body.
“What do you think?” Nicholas posed in front of you two and you both looked confused, “I thought we were just showing off tattoos, not seeing who’s built like an adonis” Cooper joked.
You laughed, “yeah, this is a summer camp so the chance to take off your shirt was coming soon enough” you added.
Nicholas laughed back, “no get closer, it’s there!” You and Cooper looked at each other and then got closer to his man’s perfect body and there it was, two small tattoos under both pecs, a smiley face and a frowny face.
��Totally sick ink right?” Nicholas joked in a surfer voice, you and Cooper threw your heads back in laughter as you jokingly agreed. “It certainly is … ink on your skin,” Cooper added.
“They were stick-and-pokes I did in college just for fun, you can even feel the weird texture of them,” Nicholas said. Without missing a beat, he grabbed Cooper's hand and placed it on the small tattoo. You had to find a way to act normal about this but this was incredibly hot. Two gorgeous men essentially groping each other in the woods felt like something out of a fan fic.
Nicholas looked at you and said, “Don’t be shy, I don’t bite”, in a quiet gravely voice. You felt your shoulders drop and your eyes widened, internally you thought “what is happening right now??”
You used your finger tips to feel the tattoo but followed Cooper’s lead and also felt his chest too. Nicholas would glance down at you two feeling him with his breath hitching just a little. Cooper was into the moment, you were still taken aback. Before this moment could progress, the camp alarm blared calling us all back in for dinner.
For dinner, groups got to mix and mingle so you and Vanessa decided your groups should eat together. Dinner was fine, you were fine. It seemed odd that these two boys who were basically mute at the beginning of the day had this moment earlier with you and were now just so chill about it. But you were going to match their vibe and keep it lowkey.
After dinner, you were all texting and realized you wanted a sweet treat so you went off-site and ended up at this diner a few miles from the camp. You three sat in this round corner booth and just talked about each other.
It was getting progressively later and later in the night and you felt yourself getting tired. Cooper went to the bathroom before you all headed out and you instinctively rested your head on Nicholas’s shoulder. Completely forgetting what happened earlier and just needing a place to rest for a minute.
It took him no time to accommodate your needs and lift his arm up so you could properly get close. He pulled you close to his chest and rubbed your arm as you slightly drifted in his arms.
You all drove in your car there but Nicholas saw how tired you both were so he offered to drive. “Give daddy the keys” he gestured to you to throw them in his direction, “I’ll get us back safe”. You mentally noted that he called himself daddy and tossed him your keys. “You both should ride in the back seat because if you're up here yawning by me that could be dangerous”.
You and Cooper hopped in the back seat and again, you just wanted to lay down, so Cooper sat upright and you laid down with your head in his lap. He also wanted to make you feel comfortable so he started stroking your cheek and did that for the entire ride back to camp.
---
The next morning was Special Classes day, all the counselors would be in various groups to get trained on the specialized activities for the camp this summer. Swimming, archery, arts and crafts, home ec, etc., you were partnered with Nicholas in the swim group while Cooper took the archery class.
The sun beat down on the lake, making the water glisten. You all had been in and out of the water several times for various tests. Every time you glanced at Nick and noticed the way the water drops would sit in between the ridges of his abs you felt something electric in you.
“You all have done a fantastic job today,” the instructor addressed the group, “and we wrapped up earlier than I thought so that’s good. Feel free to go for a free swim or head out until your next activity.”
You and Nicholas non-verbally agreed to head out but not before the instructor asked you both to take some supplies to the first aid shed before you left out. You wrapped a towel around your body and Nicholas wheeled the cart of medical supplies.
When you got the shed, which was more of a small cottage, you held open the door while Nicholas wheeled the items in. He started putting them away while you just stood and watched. Watching the way his back muscles moved with every action, the way he towered next to the shelves and how broad he looked from the back.
He turned to see you checking him out and chuckled to himself, “do you mind helping me out a little?” a smirk brandishing on his face.
You didn’t hear what he asked you when you were in your trance so he chuckled again, a little louder this time, “they’re getting lower in the wagon, could you hand them to me?” he asked again.
“Oh my bad – yeah of course! Sorry, I was just thinking about dinner or something” you tried to cover your tracks in the worst way possible, “or ‘something’ is right” he retorted back, you felt your face get hot.
When you were finished putting the boxes away, you wheeled the cart to where the other storage containers were and joined him back in the main room. The shed was so warm so neither one of you wanted to leave. Nick went to sit down in a chair by the desk in the room. There were papers on top of the chair he went to move but when he picked them up he got a paper cut.
“Shit,” he hissed “oh my god” your eyes widened. It wasn’t a lot of blood but you could yell it hurt because he kept hissing in pain. At one point he even hissed your name asking you to grab him a paper towel and you felt your heart skip a little.
He sat on the chair while you cleaned him up and gave him a bandaid. Once you got him squared away and you put the kit back on the shelf, you just kind of stood in front of him. There was nowhere else to go and not much to say.
He grabbed your hand, closing the distance between you two, pulling you toward him “the old ‘nurse me back to health’ trope huh? What a classic” he joked in a low gravely voice
“You’re so annoying”, you whined jokingly pushing away, as his one hand placed your arm on his shoulder and the other wrapped around your waist.
You caressed the side of his face with one hand, contemplating if this was really about to happen. You just met this guy yesterday - but you have already felt his pecs, cuddled with him in public and let him call himself daddy.
You leaned down and hovered in front of his mouth, “don’t make me beg” he whispered as he moved closer to plant his lips on yours. It started slow but very deliberate, he was soft but sturdy, your knees felt weak and you could feel him holding you up with the strength of his arm alone.
He took more initiative in the kiss and started taking control, his tongue now fighting for dominance in your mouth and he pulled you down into a straddling position on to his lap, never breaking apart. The more intense he got the more inhaled and exhaled sharply, the breathing made it all so much hotter. He started kissing down your neck, using his hands to guide which way you leaned your head to receive him.
He got to your ear and whispered , “I wanted you the second I saw you”, and started kissing and licking your collarbone, “you’re so perfect” he said into your neck before biting and sucking at various spots. While he worked on a particular part of your neck – biting and sucking, making you moan his name. He started to lower your bathing suit strap to reveal your soft wet breasts.
He looked at you as he kissed down your chest and gently placed it in his mouth, sucking and licking at the nipple making you thrash in excitement. You moaned his name out loud again, he switched to the other breast with the same licking and sucking motion while using his hand to play with the nipple of the other. You felt a rush when he moaned, it sent a vibration through your body that you felt it below.
He was so attuned with your body, he knew you could feel the excitement pooling down there and went to feel you over the bathing suit down there. Your back arched the second he touched you, your breath shaky. You locked lips again as he continued to graze it.
Just as you went to reach down to feel him hard through his trunks, the camp alarm sounded, calling everyone back to the main area. The rudeness of the alarm made you two separate and understand what you were really doing.
When you both come down from the euphoric feeling of being wrapped up in another stranger, you pulled your straps back up to cover yourself and he helped you off him. He pushed the chair back, you grabbed the towels both of you came in with and left, not saying a word.
When you joined the group again, you had to sit with your team. You and Nicholas found Cooper and sat on either side of him, typically you had been in the middle of them two but you needed a little distance from Nicholas at the moment.
“You guys are still in your swim stuff? I saw you guys wrapped up earlier than us” Cooper genuinely asked
There was a pause that needed to be filled, you went to speak but Nicholas also started, you both stopped and almost started again and then stopped fully and there was another long pause
“Oh no that's fine, that’s totally how normal people answer a question” Cooper said sarcastically.
---
The next day of training, returners and new counselors had separate schedules. This was perfect because after yesterday, it’s not that you were avoiding Nicholas but you certainly needed a break and time to process how this all progressed so quickly.
That night, in the cafeteria certain counselors signed up for different kitchen shifts, you and Cooper got put on clean up duty. When dinner was wrapping up Nicholas hung around for as long as possible. It wasn’t weird, there was an energy between you two but mostly he just hung around to talk to Cooper. You kept a distance and participated in the conversation from afar.
Cooper went to the back to handle the trashtrash and you were clearing off tables. Nicholas stood up to leave and called you over. You didn't know what he was going to say, was he going to ask you why haven't we talked? Does he want to have sex? Does he have a girlfriend? Every thought ran through your mind as you walked over to him from a few tables over.
You got to him and asked “what’s up?” he paused, stood up and looked down at you. He used his fingers to lift your face in his direction and planted another kiss on you right then and there, without a care in the world. His lips were soft and plush, you felt yourself melt into him from how smooth it was.
“Let me know if we’re doing another sweet treat run tonight” he said just a few inches from your mouth and walked out.
You were floored, who is this man? That kiss was so comfortable, as if you were his and he was yours. It felt natural and right to him.
You wiped down the counters while Cooper stocked and organized supplies for the next day’s meals, the silence between them was oddly comfortable. From the second you met them both Nicholas was a little harder to read and you felt like you had to do a little more to get his attention. Not that you necessarily wanted his attention but with Cooper, he immediately opened up. He was warm, comforting and quiet. He just felt safe.
When everything was done, you and Cooper sat on top of a table while the floors dried and ate ice cream. You couldn’t help but smile at him as he sat across from you criss-cross apple sauce style, him being easily over 6 ft and sitting to make himself look small was so endearing.
The more you talked the smaller the distance grew between you two. Your knees were touching and he was stroking your leg as you both continued talking, doting into each other’s eyes.
He glanced at you, a small smile playing at his lips. “You know, you’re probably the most beautiful person I’ve met.”
You raised an eyebrow, laughing softly. “Where’s this coming from?”
He finished his cone just in time to place both hands on your legs while he answered. His hands were large and strong, with veins subtly tracing the surface, hinting at a quiet power beneath his skin. The rough texture of his palms contrasted with the smoothness of his long fingers, which moved with a practiced, almost careful grace. There was something magnetic about the way they flexed, confident and capable, as if they knew exactly how to hold the world—firm, yet gentle.
“Just being honest. You’ve been, like… really good to me since day one. Everyone here is nice but you and Nick have made me feel comfortable here”, he said through a smile.
His words made your heart skip, but you tried to play it cool. “I mean, I hope you gave Nicholas thanks like this too, don’t want him feeling left out.” you let out a laugh and so did he.
“No, but it’s different with you,” he said, and this time, he didn’t look away. “I was nervous as hell coming here, and I wasn’t expecting anyone to make it easier, but you did. I didn’t feel out of place with you around. You’re, like, ridiculously sweet and also…” He trailed off, eyes scanning your face like he was debating how much to say. “You’re also, like, the most attractive person here.”
Suddenly you were in the same position you were in with Nicohlas in the shed, a moment of silence where nothing needed to be said, only action needed to be taken.
Copper leaned forward and quietly said, “I’m gonna kiss you now”
He leaned in slowly, his breath warm against your lips as he hesitated for a moment, savoring the closeness. His kiss started soft, tentative, like he was afraid to rush it, each movement deliberate and tender. His lips were gentle against yours, almost shy, and you could feel the slightest tremble in his touch. But as you pressed closer, he exhaled, letting go of his nerves, and the kiss deepened naturally. He found his rhythm, and what began as slow and cautious soon turned into something warmer, more fluid, their lips moving together with a sweet, unhurried certainty.
You felt his one hand on your thigh and the other slipped under your shirt, warm and steady against your skin. His fingers curled against your side, massaging gently as he explored the curve of your waist. Slowly, he moved his hand upward, caressing your breasts with a careful touch, his thumb tracing soft, deliberate circles until your body relaxed into his hands.
'Is this okay?' Cooper pulled away from the kiss, his forehead resting lightly against yours as he searched your eyes, his voice soft and filled with concern. The tenderness in his question only made you want him more."
You nodded, your breath hitching as his lips found yours again, this time with more confidence. His hand slipped back under your shirt, his movements unhurried but more intentional now, as though he wanted to savor every second of the moment. His thumb brushed across your skin, sending little sparks through your body, and you leaned into his touch, your hands finding their way to his hair. You tugged gently, and he let out a low, quiet groan that only made you pull him closer.
Cooper’s kisses grew deeper, more fluid as he relaxed into it, his earlier nervousness melting away. His hand continued to explore, fingertips dancing across your body as if he was learning every inch of you. There was something almost reverent in the way he touched you—gentle but filled with intent, as though he couldn’t believe this moment was real. He pulled you closer, his lips moving from your mouth to your jaw, then to your neck, his breath warm and steady against your skin as he took his time, each kiss slower than the last.
'You’re incredible,' he whispered against your neck, his voice rough with affection. The way he said it, so soft and unassuming, made your heart swell, and in that moment, you knew that every touch, every kiss, was laced with more than just desire.
You felt wrap his hands around you and he shifted his position to lay you down gently on the table. He continued kissing you on your neck, whispering praises softly in your ear while his hands smoothly roamed your body, “you’re so perfect”, “I need you”, “you’re a goddess”.
You felt his hand go lower and lower on your body until he got to your waistband. He pulled from the passionate kiss to look at you, he thought you were so beautiful in this moment. Frazzled from his passion, your eyes begging him to keep going. His fingers slipped into your shorts, but stopped, “are you sure?” Cooper asked you again, wanting to make sure you felt safe.
You pulled him down on top of you to kiss again and pushed his hand down so his fingers just grazed over the clit. His fingers continued to massage your area, with each pass you moaned into his mouth. Your kisses became deeper and frantic as you struggled to keep from completely unraveling from him.
“Let go for me baby”, he said with his forehead resting on yours. Before you could catch your breath his hand went lower and he angled his fingers at your entrance, your back arched in anticipation.
He pulled back completely so he could see your reaction to his fingers slipping inside if you. He traced around your entrance a little before slipping in his middle finger. You gasped and shuttered as his finger moved in and out, your moans turned to whimpers as he slipped in another finger.
You moaned out his name as his fingers curled inside of you hitting your spot. You had no control of your body, your body spasming from his touch which was getting deeper and faster by the minute, you were moaning so loud you didn’t care who heard you and your hands searched for some part of him to touch to return the favor. You reached out for his waistband, his hard member was pressed against his pants. You wanted to make him feel as good as he made you.
Just as you were about to return the favor, the camp alarm went off for a final roll call for bed. You and Cooper froze, reality settling back in as you both quickly gathered yourselves, adjusting clothes and catching your breath.
Cooper sat back with a sheepish grin, running a hand through his hair. 'I guess I got a little carried away,' he admitted, a soft laugh escaping his lips as he glanced at you, clearly still processing everything.
You smiled back, your heart still racing but now more from the situation than the moment before. 'It’s fine,' you said with a light shrug, your voice playful. 'It was fun... and now I think the favor's officially been returned for being so sweet.'
He let out a low chuckle, his eyes soft and warm as he looked at you.
---
A few days had passed, and while you hadn't been actively avoiding Cooper or Nicholas, you also hadn’t been seeking them out either. You needed a moment to clear your head after everything, to let the tension simmer down before the campers arrived. Still, you didn’t want things to feel awkward, so you invited them over to your cabin to help put together goodie bags for the kids. Your cabin mate was out for the night, so you even suggested they sleep over since their cabins were farther away. It was a subtle effort to show them you were cool, if they were cool. Even though every time one of them shifted closer, the heat between your legs was impossible to ignore.
You all worked in a comfortable rhythm, talking and laughing as you assembled the bags, until a song came on that sent Nicholas into nostalgic mode. His eyes lit up, and with a grin, he said, "This song always reminds me of my first kiss." You laughed.
Nicholas leaned back, his eyes dreamy with the memory. "Middle school. At a dance. I was so nervous I almost missed her lips entirely."
The three of you burst into laughter, and soon the conversation flowed into everyone sharing their stories, one kiss memory after another. Cooper shared about his first kiss behind the bleachers at a football game, and you talked about a spontaneous kiss under the basement steps of your friends’ house with her hot older brother. The mood was light and fun, each of you enjoying the trip down memory lane.
But then Cooper, ever the curious one, leaned forward, his tone more playful than usual. "So... has anyone here fooled around at camp before?" The question hung in the air for a moment, and you could feel the tension shift. You knew exactly why you were feeling awkward, but you noticed Nicholas’s smirk almost instantly. His eyes flicked between you and Cooper, as though daring one of you to speak first.
You opened your mouth, not entirely sure what you were going to say, when Nicholas took the chance. "Actually," he began, leaning forward with a glint of mischief in his eyes. "I’ve done it twice already. And both of them are in this room."
Your eyes shot open, heart hammering in your chest as you whipped your gaze to Nicholas. Cooper let out a surprised laugh, and for a moment, you were too stunned to speak. Wait—Cooper already knew? Your mind raced to piece it all together, the realization dawning on you like a light bulb flicking on. You’d hooked up with Nicholas. Cooper knew. And they had hooked up too?
"Hold up," you finally managed to say, your voice a mix of shock and curiosity. "You two—?"
Nicholas nodded, leaning back with an easy confidence, clearly enjoying your reaction. "After arts and crafts clean-up a few days ago," he said, glancing at Cooper with a smirk. "We were the only ones left in the room, and we ended up in that tiny back closet putting away supplies…”
Cooper chimed in, chuckling. "It was kind of inevitable. I mean, we were basically on top of each other. And then... one thing led to another. I pulled his shirt off and started kissing chest. He kissed down my neck. Mouths went places, hands went places and rest is a fogged up window.”
Your mind spun, trying to wrap around the image of Nicholas and Cooper together. You could practically picture it—the tension, the closeness, the heat of the moment in the small, confined space.
You swallowed, feeling the heat rise between the three of you again, but this time it was different. This wasn’t about embarrassment anymore—it was curiosity, excitement, a shared secret now out in the open.
Cooper and Nicholas exchanged a glance before bursting out into laughter. Cooper was the first to speak. "Oh, it was obvious," he said, still chuckling. "When you came to the camp meeting that day after special classes, the hickies already started forming on your neck. You weren’t exactly subtle."
Nicholas leaned forward with a mischievous grin. "And I tried to come back to the dining hall after I left that night you two had clean up duty and I heard you two making out in the distance, so I turned right back around."
The three of you erupted into laughter, the kind that shakes your whole body and makes your cheeks hurt. It was funny now, how you’d all tiptoed around it, trying to keep it secret when in reality, none of you had been fooling anyone.
When the laughter finally died down, Nicholas’s curiosity took over. "Okay, so... real talk. Who do you prefer more?" His eyes sparkled with playful competitiveness, and he leaned back with a smirk, clearly ready for whatever answer you had.
Cooper grinned, nudging your shoulder. "Yeah, no pressure, but... we’re all dying to know."
You couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous it was—being asked to choose between them like it was some kind of game. You paused for a moment, then gave a mock-serious look as you made a reference only you could deliver. "You know, it feels like Tyra Banks standing here with two contestants in front of her, and only one can stay."
Cooper burst out laughing, recognizing the reference immediately. "No way, you’re not about to do an America’s Next Top Model elimination on us right now!"
You grinned, savoring the dramatic moment. "But if I had to choose..." you began, your eyes darting between them, building suspense. Finally, you pointed to Cooper. "It’s you."
Cooper jumped up from the floor, arms raised in victory. "Yes! I knew it!" he shouted, dancing around the room like he’d just won a championship. Nicholas, meanwhile, was in mock shock, his mouth hanging open as he smiled at the absurdity of it all.
"You’ve got to be kidding me!" Nicholas exclaimed, shaking his head with a grin. "I thought I had this in the bag!"
You laughed, trying to calm the chaos around you. "Hooking up with you, Nick, was fun and spontaneous. But Cooper..." you turned to Cooper, who was still grinning like an idiot, "...was gentle, tender, and made me feel really special."
Cooper shrugged nonchalantly, though the satisfaction was clear on his face. "What can I say? I just know how to make a woman feel special."
Nicholas rolled his eyes but smiled anyway, leaning closer to you. "Okay, fine. But..." he gave you that familiar smirk, "...if you let me have another shot, I can be gentle too."
You raised an eyebrow, curious. "Oh, yeah? You think so?"
He nodded, the playful tone in his voice now edged with something more serious. "Absolutely. If you’ll let me."
You smiled and nodded, your body buzzing with excitement. "Okay, I’m down."
With that, Nicholas took your hand and guided you to the bed. He sat down next to you and this time, there was no rush, no quick or hurried movements. He was slow, deliberate, his hands softer as they found your waist and pulled you gently toward him. He kissed you with a tenderness you hadn’t felt from him before, each movement careful, as though he was savoring the moment.
The heat between you built gradually, the tension thick in the air but controlled. Nicholas was taking his time, just like he promised. His lips moved against yours with a softness that surprised you, his hand sliding up your side in a slow caress that made your breath hitch. Compared to your first time hooking up, this was different—more intentional, more intimate.
You felt Cooper watching from the other side of the room, clearly entertained but also intrigued. Nicholas’s kiss deepened, but the pace stayed slow, methodical, as he explored every part of you with a newfound gentleness.
"Not bad," Cooper teased from the sidelines, his voice light but clearly enjoying the view. Nicholas smirked against your lips, but didn’t break the kiss, his focus entirely on you. He put his hand on his thigh and started messaging, working his way further and further up.
Nicholas parted from your lips to make his way down your neck. When you first hooked up, he would’ve started biting and sucking but this time he placed soft kisses on your neck, while lightly squeezing your thighs. He whispered in your ear “see, I can be anything you want me to be baby” he nearly whimpered in your ear.
His words sent a shiver down your spine, and your body quivered in response. You were melting into the moment, eyes closed, savoring the feeling, when suddenly, Nicholas pulled away. Your eyes shot open in confusion, the warmth of his body leaving yours too soon.
“Why’d you stop?” you asked, breathless, your lips tingling from his touch.
Nicholas smirked, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Just wanted to show you I could be gentle,” he said with a wink, clearly enjoying how worked up he’d gotten you.
You let out a soft laugh, though you couldn’t help but still want more. “Well, you’ve definitely proven that,” you teased back, a smile tugging at your lips.
Cooper stepped in, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Well, if we’re all trying new things, maybe it’s time I take a shot at being more... aggressive."
You smiled wide as you agreed, Cooper crossed the room in a few long strides and came to sit next to you on the bed. He gently but firmly grabbed your face, pulling you to his direction. His lips met yours with a fiery intensity, pulling you on top of him and kissing you harder, deeper than before. His hands gripped your hips with a sense of urgency, and he moved faster, more aggressively, his kisses more forceful as he claimed your mouth. The energy was completely different from the gentle, careful approach Nicholas had just taken, but it was equally intoxicating.
You gasped against Cooper’s mouth as he pressed into you, his lips trailing down your neck with no hesitation this time. He kissed you with raw hunger, teeth grazing your skin, his hands roaming your body with confident, demanding touches that sent heat pooling low in your belly. Every move he made was firm, and you could feel the shift in energy—this was Cooper letting go, leaning into the moment with full force.
But out of the corner of your eye, you caught sight of Nicholas watching from where he stood, his eyes dark with anticipation. His gaze was hungry, eager, as if he didn’t care who he joined in on, just that he wanted to be wrapped between you and Cooper.
Cooper noticed it too, pausing briefly to glance over at Nicholas. He didn’t say a word, but his eyes flashed with a knowing look, as if he was silently inviting Nicholas to join. Then, in one smooth motion, Cooper gently but firmly placed you back on the bed, your body sinking into the softness of the blankets beneath you.
Nicholas didn’t need any further invitation.
He crossed the room and joined you both, sliding onto the bed with that same eager smirk he always wore. Without missing a beat, he moved in close, taking his place on one side of you while Cooper positioned himself on the other. You could feel Nicholas’s breath warm against your skin before his lips pressed to the side of your neck, the same spot Cooper had just claimed moments ago.
The sensation of both of them on either side of you was overwhelming, in the best way possible. Nicholas’s kisses were slow but deliberate, each one more lingering than the last, while Cooper’s lips moved more urgently, as though he couldn’t get enough. You were surrounded by them, their hands tracing up and down your body as their mouths explored your neck, your collarbone, the sensitive spots just below your ear.
Nicholas’s fingers skimmed across your waist, his touch light but teasing, while Cooper’s hand slid down your thigh, squeezing gently. The contrast between the two of them made your heart race, and you couldn’t help but let out a soft, involuntary moan as you sank deeper into the sensation.
“This is what you wanted, right?” Nicholas murmured against your neck, his voice low and smooth, sending a shiver down your spine. “Both of us... all over you?”
Before you could answer, Cooper’s lips moved to your ear, his breath hot as he whispered, “Tell us what you like.”
You felt completely overwhelmed, your senses flooded by the way both Cooper and Nicholas were hitting every spot that made your body hum with pleasure. Nicholas's lips left soft, teasing kisses along your collarbone while Cooper’s hands roamed your body, his grip firm and sure. The contrast between their touches, one gentle, one rough, had your heart racing, and you were utterly lost in the sensation.
Needing more, you reached up, grabbing Cooper’s face and pulling him into a heated kiss. You matched his intensity, your lips moving hungrily against his, both of you completely giving in to the moment. His hands gripped your hips harder, pulling you closer, as if he wanted to devour you whole.
Meanwhile, Nicholas’s kisses continued to trail down your shoulder, slow and deliberate, each one sending shivers down your spine. His hands were patient, exploring every inch of your body with a calm but insistent touch, as if he wanted to memorize the way you felt beneath his fingers.
Cooper pulled away just long enough to tug your shirt over your head, and before you could even process it, Nicholas unhooked your bra with expert precision, leaving you bare in front of them. For a second, the weight of their gaze made you feel vulnerable—but the way they looked at you, eyes full of hunger and admiration, made the tension crackle in the air.
Without missing a beat, Nicholas’s lips found their way to your breast, his tongue tracing soft circles before he took your nipple into his mouth. The sensation sent a wave of heat through your body, and you gasped, arching into his touch. His mouth was gentle, but the pressure was enough to make your body ache for more.
At the same time, Cooper’s teeth grazed the sensitive skin of your neck, biting down just enough to leave a lingering sting that made you squirm in his grasp. His hands explored your back, pulling you flush against him, and every bite, every nip, felt like it was setting your skin on fire.
The combination of Nicholas’s slow, teasing kisses and Cooper’s rough, hungry bites made your mind spin. You could barely keep up with the sensations washing over you, your body reacting to every touch, every kiss, every movement. It was almost too much, but you couldn’t get enough.
“You’re perfect,” Nicholas whispered against your skin, his lips still trailing over your chest. “I could keep doing this all night.”
Cooper smirked against your neck, his hand sliding down your waist. “We might just have to.”.
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beholdthemem · 2 years ago
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This was supposed to be part of an actual fic but I never got around to writing the rest of it, so have some mutually pining SalAsh discussing one of Ash’s past relationships Like Friends Do.
Ash canonically doesn’t feel comfortable showing her soft squishy emotions to people. Let’s talk about that and what it might mean, shall we?
“It was SO BAD, I was so cringey. I used to do these ridiculously unnecessary things all the time, just, like- embarrassingly over the top, to the point where at like, three weeks in he’s like ‘Okay, you need to calm down.”
“Like what?”
“I-” Ash thinks for a minute, then snorts, remembering something. “Oh, God, I used to write him notes.”
“Notes?” Sal repeats, a little amused at how underwhelming that sounds compared to the build up.
“Just, these-” Ash starts snickering again, staring off into space like she can actually see her past self in the act and can’t get over how corny she’s being. “I’d write him all these sappy little love letters, and leave them where I knew he’d find them. All day, every day, he had to live in fear of ‘Oh, God, another fucking one’ every time he checked his locker, or looked in his backpack, or came some place where we usually hung out, because WITHOUT FAIL, I’d have left one there. I’d do all these fancy designs on the outside, too- I busted out the good markers, I went all fucking out- and then it’s just envelope after envelope of mushy teenage girl bullshit, like ‘I love listening to you talk about the things you care about, it’s so cool how passionate you are’, ‘I knew you’d do great on that test, you’re so smart’, ‘you have the most amazing smile’-”
“What?” Sal blinks, slightly thrown.
“And he just had to sit me down and be like ‘Ash, no, this is weird’ because I somehow could not seem to figure that out on my own-”
“How do you COMPLAIN about that?” Sal demands in comedic disbelief, while Ash cracks up. He’s careful to play up the mock outrage, but beneath it finds himself only half joking. “Getting notes from the person you’re dating every day talking about how much they like you? That sounds amazing!”
“It was not.”
“Did he complain every time something good happened? Was he just like- one of those people?”
“No!”
“Gets a new bike for Christmas as a kid- ‘Oh, it would have been better if it was a different color.’ Band tickets? ‘I guess that’s cool, but the venue they picked sucks.’ Wins the lottery- ‘How come this is in twenties instead of individual one dollar bills so I can swim in them like Scrooge McDuck??”
Ash dissolves into laughter. Sal grins to himself, still shoving down the spike of envy that flared up at the idea of being loved enough to have her write every day and tell you so, and not even being grateful.
“In his defense, he was expecting me to be like- cool, and chill. Like, I got on well with most of the dudes on the baseball team cuz I was the only one who could keep up with them during gym class. He was used to me hanging out with them and being really fun and casual, and then we start dating and suddenly it turns out I’m actually really clingy-”
“Somebody you think is cool writing you notes about how awesome they think you are is even more special!” He argues. He tries to imagine being on the receiving end of something like that, and manages to picture it for about two seconds before the fantasy collapses due to sheer improbability of premise. It still manages to make him feel warm inside.
“Okay, you don’t think that’s weird just cuz you’re a romantic.” Ash dismisses, smiling nonetheless.
‘You were too,’ Sal thinks to himself, and feels a twinge of sadness for the young version of Ash who’d decided to get rid of that part of herself after deciding it didn’t make anyone else happy.
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teddyarabellapicker · 3 years ago
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The View From… The Top Bunk
Alex Turner x reader
Summary: You're on tour with the band and (Humbug!) Alex gets you alone on the bus while the rest of the band are out.
warnings: smut, cringey jokes from Matt, Nick, and Jamie
word count: 3.2k
-written for @indiee19 and her imagines book on wattpad, the fic is also up on her page ❤️
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sound of the boys shuffling around the bus and chattering woke you up. You tried to nuzzle your head back into Alex's neck, but he wasn't there. You opened your eyes, seeing that Alex wasn't squeezed into the bunk with you. You groaned and forced yourself out of the bunk, eyes adjusting to the sudden ray of light that came through the windows.
You dug into yours and Alex's bag, grabbing one of his shirts and you walked to the bathroom, rubbing your eyes to try and help wake you up. Once you got there, you went in and brushed your hair and teeth, making yourself somewhat presentable, putting the shirt on over your bra that you slept in.
You used a hair tie on your wrist to tie it up so it didn't go past your shorts. You checked yourself in the mirror one last time and then walked out, turning off the light and walking to the small lounge at the back of the bus, seeing Alex and the rest of the band sitting on the sofa.
"Ahh, so the beast has awoken and come out of its cave," Matt said, eliciting a laugh from everyone.
"Fuck off, Matt," you said, still tired and half asleep. You walked over to Alex, sitting beside him and nuzzling your head into his neck, cuddling up to him and Alex wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, and lifted you chin so that he could kiss you. You could taste the last cigarette he had before you woke and you smelled his spicy cologne that you bought him for his birthday.
"Oh, no, we better leave before they start shagging," Jamie said, making a disgust face. You and Alex both held up your middle fingers at him, Nick and Matt laughing. Alex pulled away and you nuzzled back into Alex's neck, closing your eyes.
"You alright, princess?" Alex asked, kissing the top of your head.
"Yeah, just ... just a little tired," you said and yawned immediately after making Alex 'aww' in his head. You drifted off into your own world, not paying attention to anyone or what they were saying.
All you knew was that they were talking about what songs they would play on their set list for the gig later. You heard them say something about playing 'When the sun goes down,' 'Brianstorm,' and 'Teddy Picker' but that was about all you heard.
Thirty minutes went by and then the boys got up, including Alex, making you finally open your eyes when your head fell without his shoulder holding your head up.
"Where are you guys going?" you asked, sitting up completely.
"Oh, we're going to the sound check," Alex said, scratching the back of his neck. "Do you want to come?"
"Sure, just let me get properly dressed," you said and got up and went to yours and Alex's bag.
"Okay, we'll be outside, love," Alex said, walking outside with the rest of the band.
You reached the part of the bus where your bag was, reaching in it, grabbing some denim shorts and a t-shirt, putting on some shoes and the you walked outside, walking up behind Alex and scaring him. Matt, Nick, and Jamie laughed, Alex on the other hand, did not.
"Not funny," he said.
"Oh, come on, pull the stick out of your ass, it was funny and you know it," you replied, kissing him, making him smile, no longer being slightly mad.
"Okay, you're right. It was funny, princess," he said quietly, wrapping an arm around you, pulling you closer to his side. "We ready to go?" Alex asked the band.
"Yeah, Al. Let me go get Mark," Matt said, quickly telling Mark to come on and Mark grabbed his camera. You all got in the car, just barley enough room for all six of you. You were in between Alex and Jamie, Alex's fingers intertwined with your own. Jamie glanced over to you two and jokingly rolled his eyes and scoffed.
"You two better not snog in front of me," he joked. You and Alex laughed and Alex gave you a quick peck on the lips. Jamie made an over exaggerated disgusted face when Alex peppered your face with kisses, your lips, cheeks and forehead and everyone else laughed.
Alex stopped kissing you and laid his head down on your shoulder. "I love you, princess," he whispered, placing a chaste kiss to your jaw. You rested your head on top of his and you both sat in silence as everyone else talked the entire way there.
Once the car came to a halt at the venue they were playing at, everyone got out, Alex's hands grabbing yours and intertwining his fingers with yours, always desperate to touch you, whether it was by holding hand or laying beside you, he always liked to have some sort of physical contact with you.
You all walked into the venue they were playing at and you sat backstage while they did their sound check. Every now and then during the sound check Alex would look at you and when he stopped singing, he would blow you a kiss.
Even though it was their sound check, they still sounded amazing. Mark was filming them, no doubt for another installment of 'The View From...' videos that Matt was quite fond of doing and were also very fun to film. You laughed when Alex walked over to Jamie and did what you would describe as 'guitar fucking' where Alex was standing over Jamie and played their guitars and made weird faces at each other.
You were kind of sad whenever the sound check ended but you were also happy that you could kiss Alex finally. As soon as he sat down his guitar, he kissed you, his slightly chapped lips moving against your own.
Matt tapped on Alex's shoulder. "Okay, lovebirds, that's enough," he said. You and Alex pulled apart.
"Just because you're sad and single doesn't mean that you have to project onto us, Matt," Alex laughed. You couldn't help but laugh as well, Nick and Jamie joining in.
The show didn't start for another four hours so you all decided to play some games - throw the lime down the corridor, cards, but mostly throw the lime down the corridor, that made the hours go by fast.
You hadn't realized how close the time was to when the show was supposed to begin, after a while of playing the game, Alex grabbed you and pulled you into his dressing room.
"Alex,"  you squealed. He pushed you against the wall and instantly started kissing you, his hands traveling up your body to fondle your breasts through the material of your shirt and bra.
"Alex, stop, you have to be on stage in a few minutes," you said, pushing him away. You immediately missed the feeling of his lips against yours, but you didn't want to be the reason that he wasn't on stage in time.
He sighed and stepped back, grabbing the clothes he was going to perform in, quickly changing all the while you were watching him. Once he finished changing he ran his fingers through his hair, styling it in the mirror. You were jealous of how incredibly good his hair always looked, jealous of how soft and shiny and smooth it was, and how it rarely ever got tangled. His hair was better than yours could ever be, but you didn't mind because he was perfect.
"Do I look good, love?" Alex asked when he noticed you starring at him, chuckling lightly.
"You always look good, Al," you replied, Alex blushed at your compliment, always being an adorable, shy boy.
"Al, come on. We have to go on stage!" Matt yelled from outside his dressing room. You and Alex walked out, hand in hand. Alex grabbed his guitar and kissed you before going up on stage with everyone else.
Just like always, their show was amazing. The way Matt played the drums that made the songs, Alex's absolutely amazing vocals as well as Matt and Nick's backing vocals and Jamie occasionally messing up the cords, but still doing amazing. You couldn't help but sing along sometimes, though your voice didn't compare to Alex's whatsoever.
Your favourite song they played that night though was Do Me A Favour, though you were confused whenever Alex laughed during the saddest part of the song, but the confusion quickly went away when the drums and guitar kicked in.
Though you enjoyed the sound check, you enjoyed the show even more, and you loved the confidence that they all radiated, acting like the coolest people in the world, because they were. You loved hearing the crowd cheer for them - and you also loved the girls yelling at Alex.
"I love you, Alex!"
"You're amazing!"
"You're a fucking amazing singer!"
"Alright, everybody, it's time for us to go. We're gonna leave you with this one," Alex said, seeming sad himself. They started playing D Is For Dangerous, and you were glad they did, it was one of your favourite songs after all.
You got so into the song that you forgot that it was their last song of the night and you were sad whenever they stopped and said goodbye to the crowd. They all walked off stage, leaving their instruments on stage for the next night when they would be performing again.
You stood up and walked over to Alex, his face immediately lighting up when he saw you, grabbing your waist, kissing your temple.
"Did you enjoy the show, princess?" he asked. You nodded and told him that you absolutely loved it and couldn't wait for tomorrow nights show, certain that it would be even better than this one.
You saw the guys talking and wondered what they were talking about. They then walked over to you and Alex.
"So, we're going to out and eat, you guys wanna come?" Nick asked.
"Yeah, or do you guys want to go back to the bus all by yourselves?" Jamie added, him and Matt laughing. You rolled your eyes and Alex looked at you, then back at the guys.
"Nah, I think we'll go," he said, grabbing your hand, walking you to his dressing room to change, the rest of the guys doing the same. Alex wore the blue button up that you'd bought him for his birthday, he wore it every chance he got, it only being special because you had bought it and not anyone else. He quickly stepped into his black jeans and tugged them up, buttoning and zipping them.
You were on your phone most of the time, responding to messages from friends and family who were asking about the show. Alex saying your name snapped you out of your daze and you looked up at him, seeing his adorable, lazy grin that he only did when he was alone with you, not wanting to show it in public in fear of breaking his 'bad boy' persona that he had.
"You're so cute," you smiled, laughing when he made a weird face at you. You wished that he showed his playful and goofy side in public, you thought that his persona wasn't truthful to who he actually was - a shy, quiet, socially awkward, playful romantic boy.
"You ready?" Alex asked, holding his hand out for you to grab. You took his hand and he helped you stand up, grabbing his bag that had the clothes he performed in and you both walked out, leaving the building entirely, seeing the guys waiting for you two.
"You guys ready?" Matt asked, leaning on the car, Nick and Jamie getting in it along with Mark in the very back, Jamie sitting where he sat on the way to the venue.
"Yeah," you said. You and Alex then got into the car, sitting in the same spots as before, you in between Alex and Jamie, Alex beside the window.
The drive was full of singing, shitty jokes, and occasionally sneaky kisses between you and Alex. Nick and Jamie ended up arguing about witch soccer team was better and it was fairly funny, Matt even joined in. You couldn't help but laugh when they tried to bring Alex into the argument, though he quickly stopped that, saying that he didn't have a say in it.
You layed your head down on Alex's shoulder for the rest of the drive, holding hands, tuning out the stupid argument going on between the rest of the boys.
The car came to a halt at a restaurant, everyone getting out and walking inside, stopping in the entryway for the band to take a picture with a fan of theirs. You all then walked over to a podium where a waitress was standing.
"How many?" they asked, getting ready to pick up some menus.
"Uh ... six," Matt said, stopping for a moment to count up all of you.
"Okay, right this way," they said, picking up six menus, leading you all to a round table where you all took your seats. The seat beside you was empty, Alex sitting on the other side. The waitress left and soon after another waiter came to take your drink orders, bringing them out not long after.
It was a few more minutes until you all had decided what you were going to order and the waiter was quick to come back and take your orders, rushing it to the kitchen.
The boys somehow got back onto their argument on soccer, their bickering amusing, it was like they were children arguing about what superhero was the best which made it all the more better.
They seemed to be too into the argument to notice that Alex was now much closer to you, his hand rubbing up and down your thigh, brushing dangerously close to your clothed clit. You quickly grabbed his hand, reminding him that you were in public. He didn't seem to care though, continuing to rub your thigh, lightly brushing against your clit through the material of your shorts. You held back a gasp and grabbed his hand, pulling it away from you.
He glared at you, grabbing your hand, kissing it. You all talked until your food arrived at the table, though that didn't stop Alex from teasing you again. Whenever the guys were looking away from you two he would whisper dirty things in your ear.
"I can't wait till we get back to the bus."
"You look so hot right now, princess."
You knew that this was either him being horny as always, or it was his gig high that he hadn't shaken off yet. Your second thought was confirmed when he went back to rubbing you thigh, never wanting to do something like this in public, whispering in your ear. "When we get back to the bus, I'm going to fuck you up." That was it, you were gone, couldn't handle his teasing any longer.
"Please, Alex," you said quietly, begging him with your eyes. "As you wish, princess," he said, taking his hand off your thigh. "Hey, guys, I think we're gonna head back to the bus, she's not feeling really well," Alex lied, you playing along.
"Oh, okay, hope you feel better, love," Matt said, drinking his beer. "Thanks, Matt," you said softly, acting as if you were actually not well. You and Alex said your goodbyes to Jamie, Nick, and Mark and then left the restaurant, rushing to get to the bus.
You were both very eagar, more than  you could've ever remembered, the ten minute walk taking a little less than five when you began to hurriedly get there, pushing past people so you could get there faster.
As soon as you both reached the bus and got in, Alex pushed you against the wall, attaching his slightly chapped lips to yours, moving in sync with one another. He bit down on your bottom lip, demanding entrance and you complied, his tongue easily fighting yours into submission. He was quick to rid you of your shirt, working on getting your pants off.
Once he rid you of your pants, leaving you in your bra and panties, he grabbed the underside of your thighs, signaling for you to jump, to which you did. He carried you to your shared bunk with him. You shuffled out of the rest of your garments before crawling into the top bunk, watching as Alex took off his own clothes, crawling in and laying over you, closing the curtain.
He wasn't in the mood to tease you anymore, too far gone just like yourself. He was quick to give his thick cock a few tugs before he nestled himself between your legs, slowly pushing in, head falling down on your shoulder when he bottomed out, the feeling of your walls stretching to fit his size too much for him.
He let you adjust to his size before starting to move, going slowly, setting a pace of his own liking, though it didn't last long, he couldn't take it anymore, his need to hear you moan for him growing immensely. And it didn't take long before you were a moaning mess for him, fingers knotting in his precious hair that you loved so much.
He began to place wet kisses on your neck, one of his hands coming in between your bodies to rub vigorously on your clit, his other hand the only thing holding all of his weight off of you. You knew that it wouldn't be long until you came undone, his thrusts getting faster and faster, but at the same time sloppier and it was obvious that he wasn't very far off either.
"A-Alex, I'm so close," you whimpered, voice trailing off into a moan as Alex had delivered a particularly hard thrust, hitting the spongey spot that made you see stars.
"Come for me, princess," he said, delivering one more hard thrust, flicking your clit, sending you over the edge, your own orgasm triggering Alex's, his hips stilling, his hot release spurting inside you.
His support arm gave out and he collapsed on top of you, panting heavily.
"God, I love you," he panted, the both of you coming down from your highs. "I love you too, Al," you responded.
All of a sudden, you heard the bus door open and heard Matt yell yours and Alex's name. You heard him walk over to the bunk and opened the curtain, quickly closing it when  he saw you both.
"God, Al, you could've given me a warning," Matt said, walking away. "Jamie, Nick, don't look in their bunk. Trust me, you'll regret it," you heard Matt say in the small lounge room and Nick and Jamie's laughter echoed through the bus.
"Sorry," Alex yelled, pulling out of you with a sigh, the two of you shuffling so that you both could sleep comfortably in the very small bunk. "Goodnight, princess, I love you.
"I love you too, Al."
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imagine-a-life-like-this · 3 years ago
Text
Finding Love (L.F)
Warnings : like one swear word, mentions of divorce, reader doesn’t believe in love
Word Count : 2891
Synopsis : her best friend set her up on 7 dates for a project he called “finding love”, but none of the guys made her heart flutter the way he does. 
“Okay, so there’s just some final questions you have to answer.” I nodded, barely looking at my best friend, thinking about the conversation I had with his professor just a few days prior.
           “I hope Felix’s grade won’t suffer because I didn’t find love with this project.” I told her. “He worked really hard, picking out 7 different guys he thought would compliment me well. And they were all lovely, but Miss, I just don’t believe in love. I tried because I don’t want Felix to fail, but none of them sparked anything in me.”
           “Y/N, Felix’s grade will not suffer just because you didn’t find love, though I don’t think that’s true. Forgive me if I cross a line, but I believe you already found love before this project began, but you’re scared. For you, love has always equaled loss, and this person is someone you could never lose, so you refuse to love them. Think about it for a minute.”
           “Felix is my best friend.” I countered and watched as she smiled.
           “I never said it was him.” I just stared at her, going through her words again. “Think about it, Y/N. Love isn’t as scary as it seems.”
           “Did you enjoy the dates you went on?” I met his eyes, pretending like I was listening the whole time. I nodded and watched as he wrote my answer down. “Let’s go through each of the dates and then continue the rest of the questions.” Again I nodded as Felix set the papers down and focused all his attention on me.
           Chan was the first guy I went on a date with for Felix’s project. He picked me up and I felt comfortable with him as soon as I opened the door. He greeted me with a warm smile and an awkward laugh as he stumbled over his introduction.  
           We ended up at his place, ordering some food and watching dumb romcoms on Netflix. The two of us laughed at the over-the-top cringey moments, and at some point, we fell asleep. I don’t remember falling asleep, I just remember waking up some time later, wrapped up in Chan’s arms with him still asleep.
           It was an enjoyable date, something very lowkey, but there was no spark. It felt more like a hang out than a date.
           “Did you just leave while he was sleeping?” Felix asked with a chuckle.
           “No! Of course not!” I countered, laughing at how ridiculous that would be. “I woke him up and he walked me home.” Felix nodded, urging me to go on.
           Minho was next, and at first he seemed like he’d rather be anywhere else, but he quickly opened up. “I figured since it was a nice day, we could have a picnic.” He told me with a smile as he walked towards the park.
           It was really relaxing. We just sat on the blanket he brought, munching on the food he made while getting to know each other. He told me about his family and his friends, what he was studying, and what he hoped to accomplish in life. If I’m honest, I could listen to Minho talk about his dreams for hours and not get bored.
           When he asked me about myself, it was like I drew a blank. The only stories I could come up with were all about Felix. How we met, how we agreed to attend the same college so we wouldn’t be separated, how he is the only person I’d ever need in my life.
           “You talked about me?”
           “You seem surprised.” I laughed. “You already know you’re my favourite person. Of course I’m going to talk about you.”
           “Look at you being cute.” I felt the heat rise to my cheeks at the compliment, something that didn’t happen with the guys I went on dates with. Sure, they complimented me, and I was flattered, but they didn’t seem to effect me the way Felix does. “Continue!”
           To me, the date with Minho was the most intimate. It’s the one that felt the most like a date. But again, the spark wasn’t there.
           Changbin was the third, and I must say I was surprised. I’ve heard the rumours about him around the school, so when he took me to the planetarium, I was rather surprised. “Felix said you were into astronomy.” I smiled so wide when we got inside and the show began. I spouted off random facts I knew to Changbin who seemed really interested in what I had to say. He listened to every word I said, and even spouted off some of his own facts.
           It was like running into an old friend, someone you haven’t seen in years but missed dearly. We clicked immediately and it felt like finding a safe place. For a minute I wondered if this is what people were talking about when they found their soulmates. But the longer I spent with Changbin, the more I realized that the connection I was feeling was purely platonic, on both ends. He’s definitely someone I see in my future, but only as a friend.
           “Hey, at least we’re getting somewhere!” Felix explained. “For a whole minute you thought he could be it!” I laughed at how excited Felix seemed, but my heart seemed to fall to my stomach. Why was he so focused on me finding love? Why does he seem excited to see if I fell for one of the guys he set me up with? “Keep going! 3 down, 4 to go!” He smiled at me, and I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach. No. No that’s not right. I must have eaten something weird.
           Hyunjin took me to an escape room. I’d always wanted to do one but was always scared. Hyunjin didn’t really give me a choice, telling me I would have loads of fun. So, we went. Unfortunately, he chose one of the hardest rooms they offered, thinking we were smart enough to escape.
           It was fun looking around different rooms, trying to find the clues to escape. He was really easy to work with, and though we didn’t escape, we made it pretty far. We then grabbed some ice cream and just walked around, learning more about each other, and complaining about how difficult the room was. “You know, if I wasn’t so distracted by how pretty you looked, we totally could have escaped!”
           “Oh so you’re saying it’s my fault?” I giggled, taking another bite of my ice cream.
           “It is! But it’s okay, I forgive you.” He smiled as he stole a bite of my ice cream.
           “Yah!” I screamed before quickly stealing a bite from his and sticking my tongue out at him.
           “You’re lucky you’re cute.” We parted ways soon after, but I had a smile on my face the rest of the day. It was really fun and something I wasn’t expecting from these dates.
           “Would you go out with Hyunjin again?” I shook my head and Felix’s wide smile seemed to faulter. “Well moving on then!”
           The date with Jisung was the most cliché, but it was still a lot of fun! We went to the amusement park and spent the day riding all the rides and even trying our hand at the different games. I’m fairly sure I ate my weight in sweets that day, but Jisung didn’t judge, and honestly ate more than I did.
           I was nervous at first, but I was quick to fall out of that and just be myself. Jisung is someone that makes you feel comfortable being whatever kind of person you are.
           As the sun set, we finished the day off on the ferris wheel. Super cliché, but it was really cute how excited he was. So I followed him onto the ferris wheel and took in just how beautiful the amusement park looked at night time, with all the lights on and couples walking around hand in hand.
           He walked me right up to my front door and told me to have a good night. I watched as he walked away out of sight before heading inside. My feet were aching, but I couldn’t stop the smile from forming.
           “Let me guess. Still no spark?”
           “No spark.”
           “Well okay, date number 6!”
           Seungmin took me to the aquarium, and it was so much prettier than I remembered. The last time I was there, my parents took me and my older brother. I remember looking at all the pretty colours, in awe of just how pretty the fish looked.
           This time around, though I was still in awe at how pretty everything was, I was more focused on watching the little kids run around in amazement, wondering if that’s what my brother and I looked like to the adults when we came.
           Seungmin seemed really nervous the whole time, barely saying a word and instead leaving most of the talking up to me. But he didn’t seem annoyed, instead he seemed intrigued by all my stories. He shared a couple of his favourite memories about the aquarium and told me why it was his favourite place. “Let me take a picture of you!” I exclaimed at one point. “To add to your memories at your favourite place.” I think that was the moment I first saw him smile wide. It was so precious, and I would have done almost anything to see it again.
           “Oh so you’ll go to the aquarium with Seungmin but not me!?” Felix pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.
           “Yah! It was your idea that I go on these dates!” He continued to pout. “Okay fine. Let’s go to the aquarium sometime.” He smiled wide, uncrossing his arms and clapping. “You are probably the weirdest person I know.”
           “But you love me!” More than I think both of us realized. “But enough about us, what about date number 7.”
           The date with Jeongin was the most unexpected as he took me to the library. We picked out a book for the other to read, found somewhere secluded to sit, and began to read. At some point, he handed me a headphone, and we listened to music together as we quietly read.
           Every once in a while, he would do or say something that would make me laugh. It’s like he made it his mission to make me laugh as loud as possible and get us kicked out. It worked, by the way. I have no idea what he said, but I couldn’t contain my laughter, and the two of us got kicked out.
           We ended up at a quiet café just down the block and just talked. We talked about the book we were reading, about school, friends, family, past, aspirations for the future. He was the easiest to open up to. He never looked at me with a look of pity, the way others do when they find out my tragic past, and instead made a joke to lighten up the mood.
           I think I spent the longest time with Jeongin. We just kept telling stories and laughing and before we knew it, the barista was coming up to us to tell us they were closing. Neither of us even noticed it was dark out.
           “So it seems like all 7 dates were successful in one way or another.”
           “I suppose you could say that.” His professor’s words kept ringing in my mind. My whole life, I’ve believed love was something just in books and movies. I would see the couples on campus claiming to be in love, just to break up later.
           I watched my parents argue every single day before divorcing. I watched my brother fall head over heels in love with a girl who played with his feelings. A part of me wanted someone to come along and change my views on love. Show me that love can be a beautiful thing. Falling in love was a risk, and I just wanted someone to be worth the risk.
           And as I sat beside my best friend, recounting the seven dates he set me up on, I was hit with the realization that I found my person a long time ago. Felix was the person I turned to when I needed a shoulder to cry on, he was the first person I wanted to tell all good news to. When I pictured my future, he’s right there beside me.
           He was right in front of me this entire time, and I just refused to believe it. As much as I hate to admit it, his professor was right. To me, love has always equaled loss. You love someone, you lose them. Felix is the only person in my life I couldn’t lose. It would be like losing a piece of me.
           “So out of the seven of them, is there someone you’d consider going out with again?” Felix picked up his papers he previously set down on the table, no longer looking at me.
           “No.” I answered simply, completely coming to terms with the fact that I’m in love with my best friend. “They’re great guys, but I think I know someone better.” I smiled, looking down at my hands clasped in my lap.
           “You do?” Suddenly, the project he’s been working so hard on was forgotten. He looked at me, and I looked right back, admiring his soft features. I guess a part of me always knew he was the one for me, it was just waiting for the rest of me to catch up.
           “I do.” I responded, my voice barely above a whisper. “He’s the best person I know. And honestly, he’s the only person I’d consider going on a second date with.”
           “Did you go on a date I didn’t know of?” He asked, looking through all of his notes, trying to see if maybe he had missed something. Maybe he had set you up with 8 people but forgot. But there was only one name in his notes that could be a possible 8th date. A name he wrote down in case one of the others turned down this experiment. A name surrounded by question marks; his own.
           “Why is your name written down?” I asked, pointing at the notes he was looking through. “I think I’d remember going on a date with you.” I giggled, looking up at him.
           “Oh, I was just a back up. In case one of the others fell through.” I nodded, coming to that conclusion myself. But the thought of going on a date with him gave me butterflies.
           “I think for the sake of the experiment, you should see if you could be the one to prove me wrong.” He stared at me with wide eyes, obviously wondering what was going through my head. “I mean, you do know me the best. I think if you tried you could win me over.”
           “The project specifically said 7, Y/N.” I slumped back in my seat.
           “Unfortunate. Well I guess we could go on a date just because.”
           “What?” I let out a small laugh at his bewildered expression before sitting up in my seat, leaning closer to him.
           “I’m asking you out.” The words didn’t seem to register in his brain, so I continued. “I talked to your professor, and she opened my eyes. She told me that for me, love always equaled loss, so I never let myself fall in love, especially with you. Because, you’re the one person I can’t lose.” I watched as his expression changed as the words registered.
           “Are you confessing to me right now?” I chuckled as I nodded.
           “Yeah I am. I’m confessing to you right now, Felix.”
           “Holy shit.” I couldn’t help but let out another laugh. “So you’re telling me that you went on seven different dates with the seven biggest heartthrobs of our school, but you’re in love with me?” I nodded, my confidence slowly fading the longer this conversation continues. Honestly, I’m not sure why I confessed. There’s never been a moment in our years of friendship where I thought Felix could have feelings for me. There was just a part of me screaming to let him know, to confess. “Forget the project, I’m taking you out right now.” He said while throwing his papers over his shoulder.
           “Felix!” I exclaimed while laughing, looking at him now standing.
           “What? I’ve been waiting years for this! The project can wait. Right now, I’m taking the love of my life out on our first date.” I couldn’t help the smile that formed as I took his hand. His project was long forgotten as the two of us went out and did all the things we did as friends, but now there was more hand holding and a lot more kisses.
           Love isn’t as scary as it seems. With the right person, love is beautiful. And though Y/N didn’t find love with the 7 boys I set her up with, she found love. A love that at first terrified her but made her happy at the same time. Falling in love is a risk, but it’s a risk she’s finally willing to take. And as the person she fell in love with, I hereby promise to never make her regret taking that risk.
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indiee19 · 3 years ago
Text
The View From... The Top Bunk
Alex Turner x reader
Summary: You're on tour with the band and (Humbug!) Alex gets you alone on the bus while the rest of the band are out.
warnings: smut, cringey jokes from Matt, Nick, And Jamie.
word count: 3.2k
-This part was wrote by the co-writer and my best friend, Thea, so thank you @teddyarabellapicker. the fic is also up on her page, so be sure to check her out
A/n: sorry for not uploading in a few days, I've just been writing a new story inspired by the Everything You've Come To Expect album. Also, I'm making a tag list, so lmk if you want to be added to it. Enjoy.
✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
The sound of the boys shuffling around the bus and chattering woke you up. You tried to nuzzle your head back into Alex's neck, but he wasn't there. You opened your eyes, seeing that Alex wasn't squeezed into the bunk with you. You groaned and forced yourself out of the bunk, eyes adjusting to the sudden ray of light that came through the windows.
You dug into yours and Alex's bag, grabbing one of his shirts and you walked to the bathroom, rubbing your eyes to try and help wake you up. Once you got there, you went in and brushed your hair and teeth, making yourself somewhat presentable, putting the shirt on over your bra that you slept in.
You used a hair tie on your wrist to tie it up so it didn't go past your shorts. You checked yourself in the mirror one last time and then walked out, turning off the light and walking to the small lounge at the back of the bus, seeing Alex and the rest of the band sitting on the sofa.
"Ahh, so the beast has awoken and come out of their cave," Matt said, eliciting a laugh from everyone.
"Fuck off, Matt," you said, still tired and half asleep. You walked over to Alex, sitting beside him and nuzzling your head into his neck, cuddling up to him and Alex wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, and lifted you chin so that he could kiss you. You could taste the last cigarette he had before you woke and you smelled his spicy cologne that you bought him for his birthday.
"Oh, no, we better leave before they start shagging," Jamie said, making a disgust face. You and Alex both held up your middle fingers at him, Nick and Matt laughing. Alex pulled away and you nuzzled back into Alex's neck, closing your eyes.
"You alright, princess?" Alex asked, kissing the top of your head.
"Yeah, just ... just a little tired," you said and yawned immediately after making Alex 'aww' in his head. You drifted off into your own world, not paying attention to anyone or what they were saying.
All you knew was that they were talking about what songs they would play on their set list for the gig later. You heard them say something about playing 'When the sun goes down,' 'Brianstorm,' and 'Teddy Picker' but that was about all you heard.
Thirty minutes went by and then the boys got up, including Alex, making you finally open your eyes when your head fell without his shoulder holding your head up.
"Where are you guys going?" you asked, sitting up completely.
"Oh, we're going to the sound check," Alex said, scratching the back of his neck. "Do you want to come?"
"Sure, just let me get properly dressed," you said and got up and went to yours and Alex's bag.
"Okay, we'll be outside, love,” Alex said, walking outside with the rest of the band.
You reached the part of the bus where your bag was, reaching in it, grabbing some denim shorts and a t-shirt, putting on some shoes and the you walked outside, walking up behind Alex and scaring him. Matt, Nick, and Jamie laughed, Alex on the other hand, did not.
"Not funny," he said.
"Oh, come on, pull the stick out of your ass, it was funny and you know it," you replied, kissing him, making him smile, no longer being slightly mad.
"Okay, you're right. It was funny, princess," he said quietly, wrapping an arm around you, pulling you closer to his side. "We ready to go?" Alex asked the band.
"Yeah, Al. Let me go get Mark," Matt said, quickly telling Mark to come on and Mark grabbed his camera. You all got in the car, just barley enough room for all six of you. You were in between Alex and Jamie, Alex's fingers intertwined with your own. Jamie glanced over to you two and jokingly rolled his eyes and scoffed.
"You two better not snog in front of me," he joked. You and Alex laughed and Alex gave you a quick peck on the lips. Jamie made an over exaggerated disgusted face when Alex peppered your face with kisses, your lips, cheeks and forehead and everyone else laughed.
Alex stopped kissing you and laid his head down on your shoulder. "I love you, princess," he whispered, placing a chaste kiss to your jaw. You rested your head on top of his and you both sat in silence as everyone else talked the entire way there.
Once the car came to a halt at the venue they were playing at, everyone got out, Alex's hands grabbing yours and intertwining his fingers with yours, always desperate to touch you, whether it was by holding hand or laying beside you, he always liked to have some sort of physical contact with you.
You all walked into the venue they were playing at and you sat backstage while they did their sound check. Every now and then during the sound check Alex would look at you and when he stopped singing, he would blow you a kiss.
Even though it was their sound check, they still sounded amazing. Mark was filming them, no doubt for another installment of 'The View From...' videos that Matt was quite fond of doing and were also very fun to film. You laughed when Alex walked over to Jamie and did what you would describe as 'guitar fucking' where Alex was standing over Jamie and played their guitars and made weird faces at each other.
You were kind of sad whenever the sound check ended but you were also happy that you could kiss Alex finally. As soon as he sat down his guitar, he kissed you, his slightly chapped lips moving against your own.
Matt tapped on Alex's shoulder. "Okay, lovebirds, that's enough," he said. You and Alex pulled apart.
"Just because you're sad and single doesn't mean that you have to project onto us, Matt," Alex laughed. You couldn't help but laugh as well, Nick and Jamie joining in.
The show didn't start for another four hours so you all decided to play some games - throw the lime down the corridor, cards, but mostly throw the lime down the corridor, that made the hours go by fast.
You hadn't realized how close the time was to when the show was supposed to begin, after a while of playing the game, Alex grabbed you and pulled you into his dressing room.
"Alex,"  you squealed. He pushed you against the wall and instantly started kissing you, his hands traveling up your body to fondle your breasts through the material of your shirt and bra.
"Alex, stop, you have to be on stage in a few minutes," you said, pushing him away. You immediately missed the feeling of his lips against yours, but you didn't want to be the reason that he wasn't on stage in time.
He sighed and stepped back, grabbing the clothes he was going to perform in, quickly changing all the while you were watching him. Once he finished changing he ran his fingers through his hair, styling it in the mirror. You were jealous of how incredibly good his hair always looked, jealous of how soft and shiny and smooth it was, and how it rarely ever got tangled. His hair was better than yours could ever be, but you didn't mind because he was perfect.
"Do I look good, love?" Alex asked when he noticed you starring at him, chuckling lightly.
"You always look good, Al," you replied, Alex blushed at your compliment, always being an adorable, shy boy.
"Al, come on. We have to go on stage!" Matt yelled from outside his dressing room. You and Alex walked out, hand in hand. Alex grabbed his guitar and kissed you before going up on stage with everyone else.
Just like always, their show was amazing. The way Matt played the drums that made the songs, Alex's absolutely amazing vocals as well as Matt and Nick's backing vocals and Jamie occasionally messing up the cords, but still doing amazing. You couldn't help but sing along sometimes, though your voice didn't compare to Alex's whatsoever.
Your favourite song they played that night though was Do Me A Favour, though you were confused whenever Alex laughed during the saddest part of the song, but the confusion quickly went away when the drums and guitar kicked in.
Though you enjoyed the sound check, you enjoyed the show even more, and you loved the confidence that they all radiated, acting like the coolest people in the world, because they were. You loved hearing the crowd cheer for them - and you also loved the girls yelling at Alex.
"I love you, Alex!"
"You're amazing!"
"You're a fucking amazing singer!"
"Alright, everybody, it's time for us to go. We're gonna leave you with this one," Alex said, seeming sad himself. They started playing D Is For Dangerous, and you were glad they did, it was one of your favourite songs after all.
You got so into the song that you forgot that it was their last song of the night and you were sad whenever they stopped and said goodbye to the crowd. They all walked off stage, leaving their instruments on stage for the next night when they would be performing again.
You stood up and walked over to Alex, his face immediately lighting up when he saw you, grabbing your waist, kissing your temple.
"Did you enjoy the show, princess?" he asked. You nodded and told him that you absolutely loved it and couldn't wait for tomorrow nights show, certain that it would be even better than this one.
You saw the guys talking and wondered what they were talking about. They then walked over to you and Alex.
"So, we're going to out and eat, you guys wanna come?" Nick asked.
"Yeah, or do you guys want to go back to the bus all by yourselves?" Jamie added, him and Matt laughing. You rolled your eyes and Alex looked at you, then back at the guys.
"Nah, I think we'll go," he said, grabbing your hand, walking you to his dressing room to change, the rest of the guys doing the same. Alex wore the blue button up that you'd bought him for his birthday, he wore it every chance he got, it only being special because you had bought it and not anyone else. He quickly stepped into his black jeans and tugged them up, buttoning and zipping them.
You were on your phone most of the time, responding to messages from friends and family who were asking about the show. Alex saying your name snapped you out of your daze and you looked up at him, seeing his adorable, lazy grin that he only did when he was alone with you, not wanting to show it in public in fear of breaking his 'bad boy' persona that he had.
"You're so cute," you smiled, laughing when he made a weird face at you. You wished that he showed his playful and goofy side in public, you thought that his persona wasn't truthful to who he actually was - a shy, quiet, socially awkward, playful romantic boy.
"You ready?" Alex asked, holding his hand out for you to grab. You took his hand and he helped you stand up, grabbing his bag that had the clothes he performed in and you both walked out, leaving the building entirely, seeing the guys waiting for you two.
"You guys ready?" Matt asked, leaning on the car, Nick and Jamie getting in it along with Mark in the very back, Jamie sitting where he sat on the way to the venue.
"Yeah," you said. You and Alex then got into the car, sitting in the same spots as before, you in between Alex and Jamie, Alex beside the window.
The drive was full of singing, shitty jokes, and occasionally sneaky kisses between you and Alex. Nick and Jamie ended up arguing about witch soccer team was better and it was fairly funny, Matt even joined in. You couldn't help but laugh when they tried to bring Alex into the argument, though he quickly stopped that, saying that he didn't have a say in it.
You layed your head down on Alex's shoulder for the rest of the drive, holding hands, tuning out the stupid argument going on between the rest of the boys.
The car came to a halt at a restaurant, everyone getting out and walking inside, stopping in the entryway for the band to take a picture with a fan of theirs. You all then walked over to a podium where a waitress was standing.
"How many?" they asked, getting ready to pick up some menus.
"Uh ... six," Matt said, stopping for a moment to count up all of you.
"Okay, right this way," they said, picking up six menus, leading you all to a round table where you all took your seats. The seat beside you was empty, Alex sitting on the other side. The waitress left and soon after another waiter came to take your drink orders, bringing them out not long after.
It was a few more minutes until you all had decided what you were going to order and the waiter was quick to come back and take your orders, rushing it to the kitchen.
The boys somehow got back onto their argument on soccer, their bickering amusing, it was like they were children arguing about what superhero was the best which made it all the more better.
They seemed to be too into the argument to notice that Alex was now much closer to you, his hand rubbing up and down your thigh, brushing dangerously close to your clothed clit. You quickly grabbed his hand, reminding him that you were in public. He didn't seem to care though, continuing to rub your thigh, lightly brushing against your clit through the material of your shorts. You held back a gasp and grabbed his hand, pulling it away from you.
He glared at you, grabbing your hand, kissing it. You all talked until your food arrived at the table, though that didn't stop Alex from teasing you again. Whenever the guys were looking away from you two he would whisper dirty things in your ear.
"I can't wait till we get back to the bus."
"You look so hot right now, princess."
You knew that this was either him being horny as always, or it was his gig high that he hadn't shaken off yet. Your second thought was confirmed when he went back to rubbing you thigh, never wanting to do something like this in public, whispering in your ear. "When we get back to the bus, I'm going to fuck you up." That was it, you were gone, couldn't handle his teasing any longer.
"Please, Alex," you said quietly, begging him with your eyes. "As you wish, princess," he said, taking his hand off your thigh. "Hey, guys, I think we're gonna head back to the bus, she's not feeling really well," Alex lied, you playing along.
"Oh, okay, hope you feel better, love," Matt said, drinking his beer. "Thanks, Matt," you said softly, acting as if you were actually not well. You and Alex said your goodbyes to Jamie, Nick, and Mark and then left the restaurant, rushing to get to the bus.
You were both very eagar, more than  you could've ever remembered, the ten minute walk taking a little less than five when you began to hurriedly get there, pushing past people so you could get there faster.
As soon as you both reached the bus and got in, Alex pushed you against the wall, attaching his slightly chapped lips to yours, moving in sync with one another. He bit down on your bottom lip, demanding entrance and you complied, his tongue easily fighting yours into submission. He was quick to rid you of your shirt, working on getting your pants off.
Once he rid you of your pants, leaving you in your bra and panties, he grabbed the underside of your thighs, signaling for you to jump, to which you did. He carried you to your shared bunk with him. You shuffled out of the rest of your garments before crawling into the top bunk, watching as Alex took off his own clothes, crawling in and laying over you, closing the curtain.
He wasn't in the mood to tease you anymore, too far gone just like yourself. He was quick to give his thick cock a few tugs before he nestled himself between your legs, slowly pushing in, head falling down on your shoulder when he bottomed out, the feeling of your walls stretching to fit his size too much for him.
He let you adjust to his size before starting to move, going slowly, setting a pace of his own liking, though it didn't last long, he couldn't take it anymore, his need to hear you moan for him growing immensely. And it didn't take long before you were a moaning mess for him, fingers knotting in his precious hair that you loved so much.
He began to place wet kisses on your neck, one of his hands coming in between your bodies to rub vigorously on your clit, his other hand the only thing holding all of his weight off of you. You knew that it wouldn't be long until you came undone, his thrusts getting faster and faster, but at the same time sloppier and it was obvious that he wasn't very far off either.
"A-Alex, I'm so close," you whimpered, voice trailing off into a moan as Alex had delivered a particularly hard thrust, hitting the spongey spot that made you see stars.
"Come for me, princess," he said, delivering one more hard thrust, flicking your clit, sending you over the edge, your own orgasm triggering Alex's, his hips stilling, his hot release spurting inside you.
His support arm gave out and he collapsed on top of you, panting heavily.
"God, I love you," he panted, the both of you coming down from your highs. "I love you too, Al," you responded.
All of a sudden, you heard the bus door open and heard Matt yell yours and Alex's name. You heard him walk over to the bunk and opened the curtain, quickly closing it when  he saw you both.
"God, Al, you could've given me a warning," Matt said, walking away. "Jamie, Nick, don't look in their bunk. Trust me, you'll regret it," you heard Matt say in the small lounge room and Nick and Jamie's laughter echoed through the bus.
"Sorry," Alex yelled, pulling out of you with a sigh, the two of you shuffling so that you both could sleep comfortably in the very small bunk. "Goodnight, princess, I love you.
"I love you too, Al."
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withluvgen · 4 years ago
Text
About time
Kuroo x fem! reader
Y/N is Nekoma’s manager and is secretly dating Kuroo. What happens when Daishou starts hitting on her?
Warnings: Language. Some Fluff. 
word count: 1,156
a/n: This is my first Haikyuu fic so I hope y’all like it. Kind of just thought of this scenario with Kuroo the other night and just had to write it. 
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You were sat on your bed with your boyfriend’s head on your lap, both of you just silently scrolling through your phones. It was a normal occurrence for you and Kuroo to hangout like this, no words needed to be said, just each other’s presence is enough. It was one of the things you loved about your relationship with him. Although, you two had kept your relationship a secret for almost six months now. The arrangement started when you almost didn’t agree to date him, worried about what the team might think if they found out that their manager and captain were dating, so you both decided to keep things between the two of you low-key until after nationals. Kuroo would hate to admit it but he loved it. He loved being the only one seeing your sweet and affectionate side, and you felt the same way about him. 
Keeping your relationship a secret seemed easy, or so you thought. There were times that Kuroo would make it really difficult by teasing you in front of the team. Then there were those times where you’d be hanging out with him and Yaku, and the latter would start playfully flirting with you, Kuroo would get pissed and start scolding Yaku about how he shouldn’t flirt with the team’s manager because of “professionalism.” There were a lot of close calls too, like that one time you accidentally called him baby during morning practice, and that one time during lunch where he almost kissed you because you brought him a bento. The only person who actually knew of your relationship was Kenma, since he’s Kuroo and your best friend. 
Having your relationship a secret was why most of your dates would just be hanging out at each other’s house and ordering takeout while watching a movie. It was nice because you’d get to cuddle into him and spend the rest of the day together. Much like today, you finished watching your favorite Disney movie and were just enjoying each other’s presence. The silence, however, was broken when you groaned in annoyance.
“You okay, Kitten?” Kuroo asked as he looked up at you with an eyebrow raised.
“Yeah. It’s just Daishou.” You gave out a tired sigh. “Again.” 
Kuroo sat up reaching for your phone which you handed over to him so he can read Daishou’s recent dm. He rolled his eyes upon reading the cheesy pick-up line that was sent to your dm’s. 
“I’m starting to see why Mika dumped him.” He said nonchalantly as he handed you your phone back. “Want me to tell him to back off?”
 “It’s fine. It’s not like his pick-up lines work on me anyway.” You said with a shrug.
“Y/N, he’s been bothering you for two weeks now. It doesn’t sit well with me.” 
“You don’t have anything to worry about, Tetsu.” You said cupping his cheek. “Besides, if he tries anything tomorrow you’ll be there for me.”
“Yeah. Let’s just hope for his sake he doesn’t.” Kuroo said, clenching his jaw.
---
It was time for the Tokyo qualifiers and Nekoma had just arrived. After making sure that everything was set, you went to go fill up the team’s water bottles for their first match. On your way back to the team, you spotted Daishou and the rest of Nohebi heading the same way. Slight panic washes over you, knowing full well how your boyfriend would react to seeing the other captain. You quickly make your way to where both teams are, and before you even got the chance to set down the basket of water bottles you were holding you heard Daishou say your name. 
“Yeah? Well at least I can get a girlfriend again. Right, y/n?” He said looking over at you and winking once you looked up at him. 
“I-” You were about to say when Kuroo cut you off. 
“Like she’ll ever date you.” He scoffed. “Leave her alone will you?” 
“Mind your own business, bed head. I’m pretty sure y/n would rather date me than you.” Daishou said a little too arrogantly. Kuroo smirked and looked over to you. You give him a questioning look, wondering what was going on inside his head.
“I don’t think your lame pick-up lines work on her. I mean really “I should major in photography because I can picture us together.” Did you just go online and searched for pick-up lines or something?” Kuroo teased. “I’m sure y/n loved that one.”
“H-how?” Daishou asked as he looked at you, your hands covering your face. He shook it off before continuing. “Well it’s better than all those lame ass chemistry ones you use. What was that one you used on that one manager from Itachiyama before, something about sodium or whatever?”
You smiled to yourself remembering all the chemistry pick-up lines Kuroo would use on you before you two started dating. Some of them were cringey but if you were being honest, you thought they were cute and were kind of on brand for your bed headed boyfriend. It was something that made you like Kuroo even more.
“I’ll have you know that my chemistry pick-up lines are what got y/n to be my girlfriend.” Kuroo said matter-of-factly. Your head abruptly snaps to look at Kuroo, your eyes wide and mouth agape. 
“What the fuck, Tetsu?” a mix of anger and relief in your tone. Kuroo instantly covers his mouth with his hand upon realizing what he just said. 
“You and y/n? You’re joking, right?” Daishou asked as he looked between the shocked expressions you and Kuroo had, a blush forming on your cheeks. “Unbelievable. I’m done here.”
Daishou walked away, followed by his team who was snickering behind his back. Kuroo walked over to where you were standing, scratching the back of his head. You looked up at him with a pout. Before either of you could say a word, Yaku spoke up for the team.
“Geez, about time you two said it out loud. We were all tired with you both failing miserably at hiding your relationship.” Yaku said with his hands on his hips, a teasing smile on his lips. Behind him the rest of the team were nodding in agreement.
“What?” You and Kuroo both asked in unison. Your face now a deeper shade of red.
“You two were quite obvious, cap.” Yamomoto spoke up. “I mean seriously, the constant flirting and pet names during training? It’s embarrassing how you both think that we don’t notice that.”
“For once I agree with him.” Kenma says without looking away from his game. 
“I blame you for this.” You said as you buried your face in your hands once again. Kuroo chuckled at the sight of you.
“Cheer up, Kitten. At least, we don’t have to hide anymore.” Kuroo said as he wrapped an arm around you, kissing your forehead in the process.
___
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Hope you liked this. Thanks for reading!
xoxo,
Gen
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sokkascroptop · 4 years ago
Text
traitor. (sokka x f!reader) pt 23
prequel | part 1 | part 22 | part 24
A/N: yay!! here she is!! Lots of awkward, cringey moments, but they’re 15!! of course they’re cringey!! what will the gaang do with Y/N??? if you haven’t read my prequel of ‘Traitor’ with Zuko, I highly suggest you check it out. There are references of that story in this part!
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On the flight to the Western air temple, Y/N couldn’t help stare out the window for most of it. It was more than refreshing to be able to see mountains and trees again. She never realized how much she missed them until she thought she’d never see them again.
“Are you excited to see your friends again?” Suki asked as she snuck up behind Y/N. She wondered if Suki was always so light on her feet.
“Extremely,” Y/N admitted. “As much as I enjoyed our time in prison together…” Y/N laughed at the joke and Suki joined in. 
She grabbed Y/N’s hand and joined her at the window, together they watched the trees below them blur into a dark hazy patch as the sun began to set. “I know we made a lot of jokes about how well we did in prison, but I really thought we wouldn’t get out of there. I mean,” Suki sighed. “There’s always a chance we don’t win this war. No one wants to say it but, I know you understand it.”
Y/N nodded in agreement. It was true. Keeping hope alive was good for them all, but once in a while you needed to look at the reality of a situation. Y/N’s friends didn’t always like doing that. (They were all so optimistic. It was refreshing, and tiring all at the same time)
Suki shrugged. “Anyways, enough of that talk. I’m excited to see Team Avatar too. And, I can’t wait to have more room than just my cell to train!” 
“Yes!” Y/N said. She squeezed Suki’s hand in excitement. “And I’ll have my sword back! I swear, I’ll probably be training all day; Sokka’s going to get tired of me asking him to spar with me.”
“We should spar, Y/N! I can teach you all of the Kyoshi warriors moves and you can teach me some of those Fire Nation hand-to-hand combat moves I saw you using on that acrobat!” Suki exclaimed.
“That sounds amazing, we–” Y/N was interrupted by Sokka meeting them in the hallway. 
“Guys, we’re gonna be landing soon–” He paused, eyes flickering down to their hands and then back up to meet their faces. “If you wanted to come to the doors.”
Y/N smiled. “Of course. We’ll be right there.” 
Sokka opened his mouth to say something else but immediately closed it, turning away with a blush high on his cheeks. Only then did Y/N realize that she and Suki had never untangled their hands.
Sokka had mentioned to Y/N when they boarded that he and Zuko hadn’t exactly been honest with the rest of the group when they left. They had made up a lie about going fishing which, honestly, Y/N didn’t think Katara or Toph would have believed anyways. So when they pulled up to the courtyard, Sokka and Zuko went down the ramp first to calm the three of them down. Rightfully so, Toph, Katara, and Aang were probably worried to see such a large Fire Nation airship pulling up to their newly found safe haven. 
From the shadows behind the door where she, Suki and Hakoda waited. Y/N could hear Toph’s cheerful voice carry to the airship over the stones of the courtyard. “Well, did you catch any fish?”
“I think you’ll appreciate what we caught more than some fish!” Sokka’s voice was showy and projected. Her and Suki shared a giggle before they walked out the doors side by side. 
By the looks on everyone’s faces when they came bounding down the ramp, seeing Y/N was the last thing they could have imagined. She took a moment, where she paused at the bottom of the ramp just taking them all in. Not like they had changed much in the time she was gone. Katara was still Katara, standing with her hands on her hips and her piercing blue eyes widened in surprise. Aang was still Aang, though Y/N could admit he might have been a hair taller. And Toph was still Toph, but the smile on her face grew when she heard Y/N’s voice. 
“I missed you guys so much!” Y/N felt like her face was going to break in half, she was smiling so widely. She pulled Aang and Toph into a hug all at once, just as she felt Katara brush past her arm to engulf Hakoda into a bear hug. 
Aang, ever the affectionate one of the group, squeezed Y/N so hard that she felt like she would pop. Even Toph who was never big on hugs, let the both of them wrap their arms around her as they laughed together. 
“How did you get here?!” Toph finally pulled herself out of the hug, but stayed close enough that her arm touched Y/N’s. 
“A Fire Nation airship; surely you heard the other’s say.” Y/N smirked.
Toph pinched the back of Y/N’s arm. “You know what I mean.”
Y/N turned around as she heard Katara speak up. “How did you do this?” she asked Sokka, as she rested her hands on her fathers arms, unable to pull herself away like she was afraid he could disappear if she stopped touching him. 
Sokka scratched the back of his neck and gave Zuko a sideways glance. “We might have gone to a Fire Nation prison on a hunch.”
Katara reached out towards Sokka and he flinched as if he expected a thump on his forehead for being so foolish. Instead, Katara pulled him in for a hug with their father. Y/N watched on with a heavy heart. It was the best outcome she could have hoped for when she was taken from Hakoda’s side at the Fire Nation naval base. But it was painful to watch a father love so openly, knowing she would never have that. As if Zuko was thinking the same thing, the two of them turned away simultaneously to look at each other. His gold eyes burned into her own and Y/N looked away again. 
She knew that they needed to get along. It was the best course of action if they were going to have to work together, but she wasn’t sure if it was the best thing for her heart. 
She had put so much trust into Zuko only to have it dashed away with the very action of turning against her and rejoining his sister and the nation that banished him. She couldn’t help but wonder if he would be willing to do it again if given the chance. Would he betray her again for the sake of his honor? At the same time a little voice in her head told her she had done the same thing. That there was always the chance for her to recant and go crawling back home, looking for remorse. Even Azula thought she could do it. 
She quickly shook that image out of her head. She wouldn’t go back, not until it was a place she could be proud of again. And well Azula, she was best not to be thought about at all. No one knew of Y/N’s hasty, last minute plan to bring Azula back with her and fix her, and no one needed to know either. She didn’t need the tuts of disapproval echoing from all sides. 
“It seems like we’re going to have a lot to talk about tonight,” Aang commented as he looked over their prison uniforms, his eyes lingered on Zuko’s bruised eye for just a second too long, and Y/N could already hear Aang’s voice of reason telling her that she shouldn’t have done that. He would be right of course, but Y/N wasn’t going to admit that out loud. 
“So much,” Y/N agreed. 
“I guess I’ll make tea,” Zuko said.
---
Turns out that even with as many stories and explanations as they had to tell, the five of them conked out within minutes of sitting down. Sokka was first, which was unsurprising, he’d done so much running around at Boiling Rock between her, Suki and Zuko that she didn’t know if he’d eaten the entire time he was there, let alone sat down and rested. And that was even before Hakoda had shown up. 
Y/N snorted at the way his face was smooshed up against the ground and leaned her head up against one of the walls near the fire. She tried to focus on whatever was coming out of Zuko’s mouth. Her eyes grew heavy until the next thing she knew Suki’s head had fallen onto her shoulder, and Y/N wasn’t far behind. Y/N couldn’t say what happened after that, but there was no chance that Hakoda nor Zuko stayed up to talk long after they realized that half of their boarding party had already called lights out. 
Despite the unforgiving–and frankly cold–flagstone floor, it was the best sleep Y/N had gotten in weeks. 
---
“Okay. And what do I do after that?” Y/N asked, her hands raised in a defensive stance. 
Suki walked around Y/N with her arms crossed against her chest, examining Y/N like she was one of her warriors. As she walked behind her, Suki tapped the inside arches of Y/N’s shoes with her toes. “You need your feet a bit wider. The last thing you need is to tip over while you’re trying to use your opponent’s weight against them.” She came around and stood in front of Y/N. She narrowed her eyes and looked Y/N over. A shiver rolled over Y/N’s shoulders as Suki’s eyes traveled down her body. 
Suki could be really intimidating when she wanted to be, with her deep brown eyes and pouty lips, she could send someone a look that could kill. Y/N had felt the brunt end of that side of her more than once. But when she was on your side, she was a really good friend. Y/N had figured that out that day she’d met Suki in the yard of Boiling Rock, and she was reminded of it everytime Suki sent a smile in her direction, like she was now. 
“Explain that more, using their weight against them?” Y/N asked. 
Suki nodded and wrapped her long fingers around Y/N’s wrists and pulled them down slightly. “As you probably know, the Kyoshi warriors are mostly made up of young girls. We had to learn how to take down people who are bigger and possibly stronger than us. You probably already do it to an extent, having trained with larger men most of your life.”
Suki gave a quick shake to each of Y/N’s wrists, feigning like she was going to let Y/N punch herself in the face. “Buuuut, I also know that most Fire Nation moves are a bit more sharp. You’re always on the offensive. And you–in particular–can be a bit punchy.” 
Y/N laughed and twisted her wrists outwards and slipped easily from Suki’s grip. “I am not.”
Suki leaned close and whispered conspiratorially, for Zuko and Aang were just on the other side of the courtyard doing their sunrise katas. “Tell that to Zuko’s face.”
Y/N bit her lip to keep herself from laughing again. “It was one time.”
“I’m sure there were others,” Suki hummed. 
“So then what do you want me to do?” Y/N asked. 
“Learn to be more defensive.” Suki poked Y/N on the forearm, directly across one of the many bruises that popped up overnight. “You’re covered in bruises from the fight with Ty Lee because you were–and forgive my stupid analogy–fighting fire with fire.”
Y/N rubbed her arm. “I don’t know what that means.”
“You were hitting her with the same force she was hitting you. Her arms and legs probably look just like yours. You know, if you’re any good.” Suki smirked.
Y/N let her head fall back and whined. “Why did I let you teach me first? Can we switch? I wanna be in charge.” 
“Too late!” Suki said cheerfully. Suddenly, her demeanor changed and Suki was looking up at Y/N through her lashes. A devious smile spread across her lips. “Don’t you want to be more like me?”
All of the air left Y/N’s lungs. Y/N stared at Suki without even making a motion to hide her blush. “Yes,” she breathed. 
---
Y/N landed hard on her back again with a thud and a groan. She couldn’t help the rage that boiled in her gut as she continued to get beat up by Suki. Y/N hated losing but she hated quitting even more. Even though this was purely a training session, more teaching than anything, Y/N refused to stop until she learned at least one thing, and if that meant losing over and over to Suki, Y/N could take it.
Out of pure frustration, more at herself than anything else, Y/N made a fist and hit the ground with the side of her hand, letting out a guttural growl. 
Y/N sat up and narrowed her eyes at Suki, who was standing over her with her head cocked to the side. “I’m going to get this if it literally kills me!”
“Okay.” Suki held out her hand to help Y/N to her feet. She was a little surprised that Suki wasn’t telling Y/N they were going to stop and try again later. Anyone else would have told her to take a break or to take a walk, but Suki was showing that she trusted Y/N enough to know her own limits.
Y/N got back in her wide-legged stance. “Agni, I can’t wait to kick your ass tomorrow,” she said angrily.
Suki, who was in the same stance as Y/N, doubled over laughing. Y/N straightened up and blinked wildly, walking back over her words carefully to figure out what was so funny. Seeing Suki laugh made a smile work it’s way across Y/N’s face. She tried to fight it off but failed miserably. 
“Stop laughing,” Y/N giggled. 
“Yeah, stop laughing! We’re trying to concentrate over here!” Zuko shouted. He and Aang were both frozen, staring at the girls like they’d each grown two extra heads. 
“Oh, don’t be such a grouch, Zuko,” Suki waved her hands in his direction. And Y/N slapped her hands over her mouth and snorted, which sent both girls into another fit of giggles. 
---
That was evidently the end of their training session for the day; their laughs having given them a better workout than the actual fighting. Both girls laid opposite directions with their heads next to each other, splayed out on their backs staring at the roof of the courtyard. Y/N muscles hurt in ways that they hadn’t in a long time. She missed training, she missed learning. She had spent the past few years practicing with guards, and the last few months teaching Sokka, but she had forgotten how invigorating and exciting learning something new could be, even if it was immeasurably frustrating the first few tries.  
Suki turned her head to the side and looked at Y/N’s profile. Y/N took a few beats before she turned her head. It was hard to meet Suki’s eyes anymore and Y/N couldn’t put her finger on why; but this time Y/N steeled herself and did. It was sort of like free falling or making a dive on Appa’s back; for a second it was scary, and made her heart leap into her throat, but soon enough it settled and she got used to the weightlessness. Y/N didn’t think she was supposed to enjoy either part, but she did. 
Or maybe Y/N did know why it was hard to look at Suki and just didn’t want to dwell too long on that imagery. That was… complicated. Y/N liked being friends with Suki, that was good enough. It had to be good enough. Even though Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about their dynamic. Where Sokka made her feel appreciated and whole, Suki made her feel alive. 
“I was laughing because I don’t think you know what you look like when you’re mad,” Suki murmured.
“Huh?” 
Suki rolled her eyes playfully. “You think you look so badass, but you really just look like an angry Momo.”
Y/N shuddered. “Angry Momo is scary.” 
“No, he’s always cute.” 
Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat and looked back up at the tiles on the roof. Y/N’s whole body flushed. Suki had just called her cute. Y/N stole a glance that felt scandalous and noticed a pinkness to Suki’s cheeks too. Y/N looked away and gave a hard blink, trying to wipe it from her mind. 
“Hey, there you are.” Sokka approached the both of them. Y/N stood up hastily and brushed the dirt from her clothes. His hair was still down, framing his face and he was rubbing his bleary eyes like he had just woken up. 
“Hey!” Y/N’s voice was high-pitched. Her heart raced like she had been caught in the act of doing something she shouldn’t have been doing. “What’s up?”
She could feel Suki’s eyes on her back, and Y/N so desperately wanted to retreat to the inside of the temple. Being around the both of them at the same time was too much. She wished she had a shell like a turtle duck that she could crawl into and hide in. 
“I woke up and you were gone. It freaked me out a little,” Sokka admitted. “I just wanted to find you. And you know, make sure everything is okay.”
“Oh.” Y/N’s eyes softened. “I’m sorry. I’m used to earlier mornings now.” Suddenly, her heart was filled with sympathy for Sokka. She didn’t realize how jarring it might have been to wake up alone, with the people you had rescued nowhere to be found.
“Right.”
Y/N glanced over her shoulder. “Suki and I talked about sparring and we wanted to come out here before breakfast.”  
“Breakfast”–Sokka leaned back and stretched–“now that’s got my name all over it. Come on, let’s go see how much noise we can make until Katara wakes up and just does it for us.” He threw an arm around Y/N’s shoulders and pressed a tender kiss to her temple. It was something he’d done dozens of times, something that she’d never paid attention to before. But now she was highly aware that someone was watching. 
Y/N turned around abruptly. “Suki, are you coming?” 
Suki smiled gratefully from her seat on the ground where she had watched the interaction between Sokka and Y/N. “Sure.”
---
Y/N spent the rest of the day doing everything she could to avoid Zuko and it seemed like he was trying to do the same thing. Neither one of them wanted to apologize to one another, or talk about what had happened between them at Boiling Rock. Which meant they couldn’t look at each other either. Making every exchange between the two of them extremely awkward for the rest of the group around them. 
It was so bad that that morning at breakfast Y/N had shooed Zuko away when he offered a tray full of cups of tea towards her, nearly spilling them in Katara’s lap. And later that day, when Zuko dropped the strap that hooked his dao sheath around his back and Y/N picked it up automatically, he snatched it out of her hands so quickly that the leather chafed her palm. 
“I thought you and Zuko were friends in the Fire Nation,” Katara muttered over her shoulder to Y/N who was braiding Katara’s hair. 
Y/N bit her lip and glanced out to the courtyard where Sokka and Zuko were sparring (which had apparently become a thing while she was away and no, she was not jealous) She knew where this was going. “We were,” Y/N said simply. 
“So I thought you would be happier to see him.” 
Y/N heard Suki snicker behind her as she weaved her own fingers through Y/N’s hair in their braid train. Y/N frowned. “He betrayed us in Ba Sing Se.” 
“Didn’t you leave the Fire Nation with Azula to specifically capture him and his uncle?” Toph said as she sat on the fountain’s edge near them and swung her legs back and forth.
“Toph, if you are not braiding, you do not get to participate in braid train talk,” Y/N nagged.
“I’m blind.”
“Poor excuse. You still have hands.” Y/N leaned sideways to flick the younger girl in the shin, but was pulled away by Suki. 
“Anyways, I’m not saying I like him either.” Katara shrugged. “But I didn’t think I’d see it from you.”
Y/N paused her hands. “There are a lot of issues between the two of us.”
“Clearly.”
“Toph.” Y/N grumbled then she sighed. “I don’t know how to fix it.” 
Katara turned her head to watch her brother and Zuko spar for a minute before replying. “You’ll figure it out.”
Y/N followed her gaze to the two boys. Yes, Katara. Let me just add that to the list of things I need to figure out. 
---
“I know you better than you think.” Suki grabbed a few dry twigs next to her foot and added them to the pile in her arms. 
Y/N almost dropped the kindling in her own hands. She quickly recovered and shifted its weight to her other arm. “What are you talking about?” She asked coolly.
The two of them offered to collect firewood for dinner that night, Toph had piped up and said that she and Zuko could help too, but as they reached the woods they split off from each other; which meant that somewhere off in the trees were two people that Y/N really didn’t need hearing whatever was going to come out of Suki’s mouth next. 
“I know I haven’t known you as long as the others, but I think that I know you pretty well, and something has been bothering you.” 
Y/N only hummed in acknowledgment. It was true, Y/N had been juggling with a few different things. Her strained relationship with Zuko was at the top of the list, because that affected the others the most, but the weird fluttering of her heart when she was around Suki was catching up fast. Y/N tried to swallow but her throat was too dry. 
It felt a little chilling for someone to read her so clearly, but surprisingly, Y/N found solace in it as well. She hadn’t had that since–well–Azula. Y/N didn’t feel like lying to Suki or herself anymore. “That obvious, huh?”
The corner of Suki’s mouth lifted in a soft smile. “The others will find out eventually, if that’s what you’re asking.”
That’s what Y/N was afraid of. Was she really showing her emotions so candidly? How embarrassing was it going to be when the rest of them found out that she was dating Sokka while crushing hard on Suki at the same time. Agni, this was humiliating. Y/N was a terrible person.
“When did you find out?” Y/N stared at her toes.
“It was when Zuko and Sokka were talking about the fight on the gondola this morning. Whenever they mentioned Azula, you clenched your hands into fists.” Suki chewed on the inside of her lip. “You only do that when you’re trying to distract yourself from something that’s bothering you.
“We both know that I have no love for that girl,” Suki continued, when Y/N stayed silent. Mostly from shock, the conversation was not going in the direction she had seen coming. “But I know you knew her differently than the rest of us.”
“Oh,” Y/N murmured. She broke eye contact with Suki and tried to recover herself. “Yes, I guess so.”
Somehow this conversation was better and worse at the same time. For another day she was going to be able to hide whatever it was she was feeling, but now she was going to have to talk about something that was so much harder. 
“So what’s bothering you?”
Y/N clutched the dry kindling to her chest tightly, letting the bark and branches dig into her stomach through her thin shirt. “I might be hiding something,” Y/N said without thinking.
Suki paused and then nodded slowly, like she was talking to a startled animal. Which Y/N figured was accurate, considering she was about 5 seconds from dropping the kindling and running. “What happened?”
“Azula came to see me at Boiling Rock. Right before we left.”
Suki frowned. “Why would she do that?”
She was kind of just doing exactly what I did. Maybe she knew her friendship with the other girls was slipping. “Well…”
Suki widened her eyes. “That’s not a good way to start, Y/N.”
“I talked to Azula on the Day of the Black Sun,” Y/N said. And once Y/N started, she couldn’t stop. “I was foolish and naive and I thought that I could change her if I offered. So, I–I asked her if she would come with me.”
“What??” Suki cringed at her own shout and quickly quieted her voice. “Y/N, what were you thinking?” Y/N didn’t miss the way Suki’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. 
Y/N blinked away impending tears, thankful for the darkness that had spread through the woods. She didn’t think that it would ever come to this. “I think she’s confused and messed up. I miss her,” Y/N sniffled. “The old her. Not the person she is now.”
“Y/N…”
“I gave her the wrong idea. By telling her that I believed she could do better, now she thinks that I can come back to her too.” Y/N sucked in a gasping breath. “I feel bad because I haven’t told anyone. And now everyone’s going to be mad at me because I’ve been hiding it for so long.”
Y/N suddenly turned on her heel and began marching back to the temple. They had enough kindling and she felt like she was suffocating in the humid air.  
Suki rushed to catch up with her. “I’m not mad.”
“You should be,” Y/N quipped.
“I’m processing,” Suki insisted, matching her strides with Y/N’s. 
Y/N glanced at Suki and was surprised to find her looking at Y/N with worry. Despite Y/N’s admission, Suki still looked at her without malice. She could have done anything, Suki could have yelled, she could have ran off to tell the others, but she didn’t. She gave Y/N the one thing she wasn’t expecting: an opportunity. An opportunity to talk about it, a space to bear her soul and explain herself. It should have made Y/N feel better, that's what friends were for. Instead, it just made her feel worse, and made feel like what she did was that much worse. Regret rolled through her body like a tsunami and she immediately dug her heels into the dirt and dropped the kindling on their feet. 
“I shouldn’t have told you.” Y/N ran her hands through her hair. “I should have just made something else up.”  
“Like I said, I'm processing it.” Suki tugged on Y/N’s hands where they were tangled in her hair. “Stop worrying about what I think. What are you thinking?”
Y/N felt like she was exposed to the bone. “I’m so mad at myself for doing it in the first place but I’m mad at myself for being mad at myself! How does that even work?”
“I don’t know.” Suki shook her head. 
“Everyone’s going to hate me.”
Suki laid a comforting hand on Y/N’s shoulder. “They might not understand, but they aren’t going to hate you.”
Y/N could only hope so.
---
“Why would you do something so selfish?!” Zuko busted out of the treeline, just before Y/N and Suki had made it back to the courtyard of the temple, Toph trailing behind him. Sparks ignited behind his teeth as he surged forward right to Y/N. 
His shout startled her so much she dropped the wood she was carrying. It took a moment for Y/N to realize that he was talking to her. They had been avoiding each other at every turn. “What are you talking about?”
The shouts had brought Aang, Katara and Sokka running out of the temple and to the edge of the woods where Y/N and Zuko were having their face off. 
“Tell them. Tell them what you told Suki.” He glowered.
“Tell us what?” Aang asked. He stood to the side of them like he was planning on jumping in at the first sign of trouble.
Y/N shared a look with Suki and then looked back to Zuko, shaking her head minutely. She was not planning on being bullied into confessing secrets that were better left untold.
“She tried to get Azula to come back with her on the Day of the Black Sun,” Zuko tattled like a petulant child, sending a glare in her direction. Before waiting for anyone else’s reaction. He continued his barrage. “How could you be so stupid?”
“Wait, did you really?” Katara asked.
Y/N barely even heard Katara speak, she was deaf to all noise except for the blood rushing in her ears and Zuko’s voice. “Stupid?!” 
Y/N was filled with rage. She could accept Katara yelling at her, she could accept a sad, disappointed look from Aang that would make her heart ache. Y/N could get over Sokka and Toph ignoring her for a few days, she wouldn’t expect anything less from them, and it would be well deserved for her moral slip-up. Azula hurt them.
But Zuko’s outburst?  Y/N was not going to accept that from him. Not from the boy who was just as bad at her at being good. 
“Fine! I did it! And I’m not stupid just because I still care about her. Look at you and I; We changed! Why can’t she have that chance too?! What about Mai and Ty Lee?! You watched Mai save us and I told you I saw Ty Lee save her from Azula. That was for us!” Y/N leaned forward and poked Zuko square in the chest. 
Zuko batted her hand away, his own hands scalding hot, just seconds away from flaming. “Azula is loyal to Ozai! She would never leave.”
Y/N scoffed. “We all were.”
“What?” 
“We both took orders from him. We were all props used by our fathers in this war started by our great grandparents. That is all the more reason that she should deserve a second chance! We know how it is to be under his influence! You weren’t there that day, she was going to do it! She would have taken my hand!”
“What did she say when you met her at Boiling Rock? I know you talked to her,” Zuko growled.
Y/N blinked, taken aback. How would he know that she had spoken to Azula that day? Though she guessed that conclusion wasn’t that hard to get at.
“She told me she was going to take me back to the Fire Nation; probably back to my dad,” Y/N choked back a sob. “She was going to let me hit my lowest point so I would come crawling back to her, ready to be their puppet again. And yet here I am. I didn’t go with her even though it would be easier to give in and do whatever they wanted. Just because I believe that everyone is worth change, doesn’t mean I think what she’s doing is right.”
Y/N brushed past him easily, avoiding everyone’s eyes. All she wanted to do was curl up in her sleeping bag and pass out, maybe to dream up a solution to her and Zuko’s anger at one another. 
“You’re delusional.”
Y/N paused. She could ignore him and keep walking. She could be the bigger person and not continue the argument, silencing him where he stood. But Y/N had never been one to leave things left unsaid once it started. She needed the last word. 
She turned around and lifted her chin. She smiled even though she wanted to scream and she bathed in the sticky, deafening silence around her. She wanted everyone to hear what she had to say. 
Without another thought, she felt something fierce and terrible leap out of her throat. “You of all people don’t get to say that to me. Not from the boy who went running back to the Fire Nation to try and get his daddy to love him again.” Y/N spit the words at him and he took it like a slap to the face. 
Y/N could hear someone yelling at her for what she had said. It might have even been more than one voice, they had all become so attached to Zuko so quickly. But she wasn’t listening to the words anyone was saying; her head was pounding too loudly and she was too focused on the sudden heartbroken look that crossed Zuko’s face. Somewhere inside she felt good; she liked that she wasn’t the only one hurting at that moment in time. She knew exactly what she was doing and not only did she twist the knife while she was there, she plunged it in deeper too. 
She watched Zuko turn on his heel and walk deeper into the forest, likely to go where he could take out his anger on a tree out of earshot of the rest of her friends. 
Her friend’s faces were masks of horror–wide eyes, jaws agape–and Y/N didn’t even have the decency to care. No, not while she was riding the high of taking Zuko down. 
“Spirits, Y/N…” Aang looked at her like she was a completely different person. Okay, so maybe that one hurt a little. Or a lot. 
Okay, so maybe Y/N wasn’t as cold-hearted as she wanted to pretend she was. Their shock at her words made her embarrassed. Y/N could feel her face redden. If the whole Azula thing didn’t get her trouble, this surely would. Where would they draw the line in the sand? When would they stop tolerating her and realize that she was really no different whichever side she was on?
“I think I’ve had enough socializing for today.” Y/N didn’t wait for a response, she just turned around again and headed back to the temple. She would grab her sleeping bag and head deep into one of the private rooms in the temple where no one could hear her cry. 
Y/N knew it was wrong of her. She knew it. She knew that it would disappoint her friends to hear her be so hateful and she knew it would hurt Zuko but it was like she couldn’t help herself. And she hated the way she loved how it felt. (There was a lot of that going on with her at the moment; hating something she loves so much.)
---
It was no surprise that Y/N had trouble sleeping that night. 
She went over and over the fight, replaying every moment. The euphoria of hurting someone was gone and replaced with shame. She was ashamed of her words and actions and it made it worse when she thought about how the other’s took it. 
It was cold without a fire, but Y/N was stubborn. There was no way she was going back out to sleep with the rest of them. She’d rather freeze. She gave a violent shiver in her sleeping bag, but she wasn’t sure if it was because she was freezing or because she just thought how Sokka was looking at her as she taunted Zuko. 
What would he think of her? Sokka was close to Zuko; he liked him. Sokka was going to hate her for her cruel words. They all would. The last thing she needed to do was divide them all again, just when things were beginning to work out. 
Once, Sokka had told her that they couldn’t hate Y/N for things she hadn’t done, but what about things that she had done? 
---
She’d chosen a room higher up in the temple, figuring that if someone did come looking for her, they’d stop looking on the ground floor. Y/N slipped out of her sleeping bag and walked to the window. A cloudless, midnight sky stared back at her. It was a strange feeling, to be inside of a building as vast as the Western Air Temple, but have no noise around her. No lanterns outside or in the hallways to light the way for anyone awake late at night. It felt ghostly; otherworldly. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she almost missed a familiar boy with dark, scruffy hair sitting alone in the courtyard, despite the time of night and the cool temperature. Then again, the cold didn’t ever get to firebenders. 
Y/N didn’t know what carried her feet down the stairs and towards Zuko. He was sitting on the edge of the courtyard, with his legs dangling over the edge. 
“Can’t sleep?” she asked quietly, a gust of wind nearly taking her words right over the cliff. 
Zuko whipped around and Y/N took a step back, knowing that his flames would be on the tips of his fingers. 
“Y/N,” Zuko frowned. “You’re always so quiet.” There was none of the expected malice in his voice.
Y/N wasn’t sure if that was an invitation, but she sat down next to him anyways, leaving a comfortable amount of space between them. “I can’t sleep either,” Y/N said after a few beats of silence. 
“I can’t imagine why. You said what you’ve been wanting to say for days now, you should be sleeping like a baby.” And there was the malice. It cut like a knife through Y/N. 
She bit her lip to keep her from saying, you’re right I should, because it would have been a lie. Instead, she said “What I said was wrong, and I’m sorry.”
Zuko was silent. And Y/N couldn’t have that. “You probably remember I don’t know how to shut my mouth when it’s good for me–”
“Apparently you still haven’t learned–”
“Okay.” Y/N pressed her hands together to stop herself from reaching over and throttling Zuko. “But the faster you let me say this the faster I will leave you alone.”
Zuko stared down at the abyss below them, but then nodded slowly. 
“I want to apologize because I don’t like fighting with you, I never have.” Y/N took a breath. “I think that I’ve been mad at you for so long it just kind of exploded out of me. It’s just really complicated.”
“How can it be so complicated? I figured we’d both done enough bad to one another that we’d be even.”
Y/N chewed on her lip. “That’s not a great way of putting it but I understand what you mean. But that doesn’t mean we should leave everything unsaid.”
“Then what do you want to say?”
Here came the really silly part. The thing that Y/N never allowed her to think about because of how absurd it sounded. A memory of the days leading up to Zuko leaving to fulfill his banishment flashed before her eyes. Them holding each other, crying, promising things children shouldn’t need to promise one another. 
“I told you to come home safe and you never did. You left me alone, with just her.” 
Zuko scowled. “That’s why you’re mad at me? I didn’t have much of a choice in that matter, I was banished.”
“I know that.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “I know it’s stupid, but 12 year old girls don’t have the most rational thoughts when it comes to stuff like that. In my mind, you were always headed home, Avatar in tow. But month after month you were still gone, and I started to become mad at the wrong person; not the person who sent you away, who burned you, but at you for leaving me, forgetting about me.”
Zuko’s molten gold eyes glowed in the dark. “I never forgot you.”
Y/N had to look away from him. Guilt racked at her. He might have not forgotten about her, but it felt like she’d forgotten everything about him. “But we grew into completely new people. How–how can I miss you? When you’re sitting right next to me? I’m looking for a Zuko that I don’t think exists anymore. The first time I saw you after those 3 years apart, I didn’t even recognize you.”
Zuko ducked his head, letting his hair cover his scar. “Oh.”
“Not because–” Y/N wanted to reach out and touch him, to reassure him that that was not what she was referring to. “You were so angry when Azula and I showed up. But it didn’t seem like you were mad about anything in particular. It’s like bitterness had seeped into your skin and became you. Like it was the only thing that was keeping you standing up straight. I don’t remember a time you ever looked at me like that–except for now maybe.”
“Well you’re different too,” Zuko countered childishly.  “You’re impulsive and rude–the Y/N I grew up with was kind and patient even though she was...aggravating,” He mumbled through the last part like he didn’t really want her to hear it, but wanted to say it anyways. 
Y/N felt similar to a bug under a magnifying glass. It didn’t feel like she had changed all that much, but Zuko had known her better than anyone. If anyone could see it, he would. “I think we can both agree that we can’t revert back to who we were before. We’re both much too stubborn for that.”
Zuko scoffed but it wasn’t mean, there was a small smile on his lips. “I’m stubborn?”
Was he? He was teasing her. Okay, Y/N could work with that. She nudged his shoulder playfully. “You always have been.”
Y/N let a moment pass before she spoke again. “We just have to start over. Learn how to be friends again.”
“Then I forgive you.”
“That’s a really good start.” 
They both let a silence fill the air between them. It was calming and it made it feel like the night would never end. 
“I wish I had the same faith in my sister as you do,” Zuko said suddenly.
Y/N found that to be a hard statement to reply to. Because on one hand, she wanted to risk it all for Azula. She would burn down the world if it meant saving her. But the real question was, did Azula want to be saved? 
Ozai had her so tightly bound to him, Y/N was afraid breaking the ties would break Azula. “It’s not that I have faith in her, I just have enough faith in myself to bring her back from the brink of destruction. Ozai is going to use her until she is burnt out and I can’t help but think I can fix it.”
“You always thought you could fix everyone around you. That hasn’t changed.”
“I can fix her.”
“You don’t think she’s too far gone?”
“Not yet.”
Y/N laid back on the ground behind her. From here she could see the stars again.  She kicked her heels against the side of the cliff, nervous to ask her next question. “If you’re not tired. Will you talk to me?”
“What do you want to know?”
Y/N closed her eyes, the constellations were burned in her memories. “Everything.”
And they did talk about everything. From how Y/N met Suki and how she got thrown into the crystal caves; to how Y/N got on the good side of Team Avatar and trained Sokka to sword-fight.
(“I saw you two sparring today.”
“He’s not bad.”
“Yeah, because I taught him.”)
Zuko talked about his life in Ba Sing Se with Iroh and about the little tea shop they ran together. He told her about Jin and Jet and explained how he felt after betraying her and Iroh in Ba Sing Se. 
Zuko was on his back next to her with his head propped on his arms. “Even on the boat back to the Fire Nation, I knew I had chosen wrong. But by then it was too late, Azula had her claws in me and you and Uncle… well, I knew you would hate me for what I did. I just… I wanted to go home.”  
Y/N rolled over on her stomach and looked him in the eyes. “Neither one of us could ever hate you for that. We both know why you did it. It’s not your fault.” Y/N was completely sure if she was given the same opportunity at the time by her dad she would choose the same as Zuko. Pride, honor, it was so precious in their culture, but Y/N didn’t want to be honorable if it meant hurting other people. 
---
Y/N woke up to the sun streaming in the window, warming her face. She didn’t know when she and Zuko had parted ways last night, but by the position of the sun it was early afternoon that she was just now waking up. 
She stumbled bleary-eyed and hungry down the stairs feeling lighter than she had in days. Zuko was the only one around, sitting in a patch of sunlight by the fountain sharpening his dao’s and looking very tired and scowly. Somewhere down below the temple, Y/N could hear the pounding of large rocks and boulders being thrown about which probably meant Toph and Aang were practicing earthbending. 
Y/N snagged an orange from one of their baskets of food and laid on her stomach on his right side, propping herself up on her elbows. She began peeling the orange, dropping little pieces of the rind on the ground next to Zuko’s knee. 
“Where is everyone?” Y/N asked, popping the first section of the orange in her mouth and handing Zuko the next.
He talked around the orange. “You’d know if you woke up before lunch.” 
“You guys already ate lunch without me?” Y/N asked, shocked. 
“Nobody wanted to mess with you.” Zuko dragged his–no wait, that was her whetstone–down one of his blades. Y/N wrinkled her nose and bit into another orange slice. Good to know he was comfortable enough with her to go digging through her bag to get that out.
“But you told them we talked right?”
“Nope.” The corner of his mouth was lifted in a smirk.
“Ugh, Zuko.” Y/N let her head hang down between her arms. “Help me out here, don’t make me talk to my friends.” Y/N didn’t know if it was too early to say, but their banter felt a bit like old times.
“Don’t make me.”
Y/N groaned again, but she really only did it for show. This was her mess to clean up. “But where are they really? Do I have enough time to prepare a long apology for being a bitch or is this going to be freestyle?”
“Sokka and Hakoda are fishing. Teo and the Duke are exploring the temple. Haru, Toph and Aang are earthbending–”another great clash from below shook the temple and Y/N heard Toph whoop excitedly “–and Katara and Suki went to do laundry.”
“Why do the girls always have to do laundry?” Y/N grumbled and rolled over on her back. “Why didn’t you go help them?”
“Because I’m here–”
“–sharpening your swords?” Y/N snickered. 
“Yes.”
“Because that’s so important.” Y/N poked Zuko’s kneecap and grinned. “Don’t worry, you’ll grow on them.”
“I don’t care if they like me.” 
“You do,” Y/N teased. “You want all of them to like you, just like I did. You can’t help it. They’re all just too nice.”
“Whatever,” Zuko dropped his swords to the side and leaned back on his hands. 
“You’re so irritable. Did you and Aang still do katas at sunrise?”
Zuko closed his eyes against the sunlight. “We do katas every morning.”
“You can take a day off, you know.”
“We can’t.” His voice was clipped and Y/N knew if she pushed any harder he’d either stop talking altogether, or start yelling. 
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in concern and spoke anyways. “Don’t burn him out, Zuko. Don’t burn yourself out either.”
“I’m not.” 
“Okay, but I just–”
“I’m not!” 
Y/N smiled sheepishly. “Okay! Don’t yell at me.”
“Sorry.” Zuko mumbled. 
---
The two of them lazed around the temple until the others came back, group by group. Y/N hadn’t felt this uncomfortable around her friends since she had joined with them after leaving Ba Sing Se. She could feel the tension in the air and Y/N kept cracking her knuckles to have something to do with her hands. They all looked at her warily, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even Sokka kept his distance, which broke Y/N’s heart.
“I’m surprised you haven’t killed one another or at least destroyed the temple,” Sokka chuckled a bit awkwardly, trying to ease the tension. 
Zuko and Y/N stood shoulder to shoulder in one of the many doorways of the temple. Y/N raised her eyebrows at Zuko and he shrugged, seemingly disinterested. “We’re friends again.” 
“Well that must be nice for you,” Katara spat back. 
Y/N and Zuko shared another sideways look. Katara never hid her dislike for Zuko, that much was obvious to everyone, but now it seemed like that dislike was shared partially with Y/N. She and Zuko making up and being friends again only added fuel to Katara’s anger. 
Y/N twisted her finger around a strand of hair anxiously. “Can we talk?” 
“Uh, sure. Guys?” Aang looked around at the others to see if anyone else was going to speak up. There was a chorus of affirmations but Katara just crossed her arms and huffed. 
They all sat in a circle in the middle of the courtyard. The air was colder in the evenings, since it was mostly hidden from the sunlight. Y/N shivered at the way the biting wind slithered up the back of her shirt like a cold hand. 
The seven of them stared at each other for a few beats, sharing glances among themselves and then quickly looking away. Sokka pulled his knees to his chest and twirled a stick between his fingers and Y/N stared at the graceful way it moved in a circle, she longed for those fingers to be intertwined with her own. 
“I’m sorry,” she blurted out. 
She bowed her head slightly in submission before scrunching closed her eyes. She’d thought of her words carefully as she waited for them to come back. It didn’t mean it was any less humiliating. “Obviously that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I’m so sorry for how I acted last night and for what I did. It was never my intention to lie to you.”
“But you did. Why didn’t you tell us?” Toph asked. Her voice wasn’t angry, it was disappointed. 
“I hid it because I knew you wouldn’t be happy with me and I just wanted to keep the peace between us. I didn’t want anyone to question my motives. I know it’s wrong to think that way, to be so defensive. I trust you guys and you should be able to trust me too. I just didn’t want you to have doubt in me or to question my loyalties.”
“It’s not about sides!” Katara exploded. “We’re your friends, you don’t hide things from us.”
Y/N flinched back. “I know. I’m sorry that you had to hear me sympathize with someone that’s done so many bad things to you.” 
 “She’s done bad things to you too,” Suki reminded her softly. 
Y/N’s eyes fixed on Suki’s brown ones. “Not like you,” Her eyes flitted to Aang’s soft grey ones. “Or you. Zuko was right last night,” Y/N heard him snort softly next to her, “I am selfish. I want pieces of my old life back and while I’m looking in the past I’m ignoring the good that’s in front of me.”
“You aren’t like her.” 
Y/N’s eyes found Zuko’s. “Not anymore. But we but we both know there are more similarities than differences between us.” 
That sentence seemed to weigh on everyone’s mind heavily. They sat and stewed in their own thoughts, and for the first time ever, Y/N was worried about her own future with her friends. It made her nauseous to consider the idea that she was no longer a trusted friend because of one awful mistake. It was a sobering thought; Azula–how she was now–would always be Y/N’s downfall. Azula had been correct in that aspect, what would Y/N have if she didn’t have her friends? Nothing. She’d be alone, just like Azula was now. It made Y/N’s regret spread that much deeper. 
“It’s okay,” Aang’s voice was the first to break the silence. “I can’t blame you for wanting to see the best in someone.”
“I–Thank you.” Y/N blinked back tears. It didn’t matter that the rest of them followed suit and murmured their forgivenesses to Y/N, because while she was soothed by Toph’s arm punch and Sokka’s hug and the way Suki pressed her knee into Y/N’s at dinner that night, Aang’s forgiveness was the most needed. While his death in the crystal cavern had not been her turning point, it had still been her catalyst. It had changed her in ways she could never imagine. They all had. Maybe the reason why she wanted to see the good in Azula, wasn’t her own doing, but something that had been rubbed off by him onto her. Even through the hardship and the oppression, he was still a blinding light in the darkness and was just one of many that Y/N was trying to imitate more and more each day. 
---
A/N: hmmmm, let me know what you guys think! The next part is mostly written and will be posted sooner than usual!! it’s very cute if I do say so myself. 
tags: @myexgirlfriendisthemoon @reclusive-chicken-nugget @astroninaaa @aangsupremacy @beifongsss @crownofcryptids @welovediaaxx @littlefluu @lozzybowe @thebluelcdy  @sugarmoongey @fanficdepot @teenbiology @13-09-01 @riespage @davnwillcome @creation-magician @lunariasilver @rockinearthbending-marauders @francesciak​ @thia-aep​ @aphrcditeee @milk-n-cheese @solarsuki @my--shitty--art @lovingcupcake51002 @loganrwebb @celia-not-cecilia @treestarrrrrrrr @p--e--a--c--h--e--s @izzieserra​ @salsasadd​ @nataliahaslosthershit​ @awkwardnesshabitat​ @lanie103  @im-the-galactic-starfish @charlotteisabella​ @alienmotel​ @smarshere​ @sugamonster22 @mellisophilia​ @calumsfringe @whatsuphoesandbros​ @samsmultifandomblogs @i-love-superhero​ @justasukisimp @grouchiest-hufflepuff​ @zukostan221 @feverish-dove @catchingrhythm​ @euphoricmads @ivetoldamillionlies @fanficsformyperusal​ @mikxyu @someonekeepstakingmyusernames @earthtokace  @justamessandahalf @perfectlyfadingmusic @atlafanforlife @eyelash-curler @iris-suoh @chilifrylizard2 @cheese-its-and-lies @writequickly-blog @living-on-kyoshi @brightcosmos @someoneovertherainboww @stale-sandcastle @justarandomhoman​ @itsametaphorbriansblog  @llamaly  @moon-spirit-yue @moistpotatobear @missmorosis @sunflowerr-mami @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @september-ctd @pumpkinbowl14 @yoyokzzz​
tags that don’t work: @jasminedrgon, @maruchan77, @la3divine @ohjustlookalive, @natsbelova @bison-whistle  @certifiedfreak7 @smolbitch2006, @emogril @maruchan77 @ohjustlookalive @vintagerose1014516 @bcifcng @sendnuwudes @humbleseame @velveteencurls @oddment-nitwit-blubber-tweak @crxsshatcht @starxtt @ask-kfc-siblings @zuko-and-sokkas-simp @naanlianid
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sinisterlyhan · 4 years ago
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02. bang chan / 3883 words
dom!chan who is both hard and soft, a tinge of fluff, daddy kink, a little size kink + corruption kink, oral (m receiving), the smallest amount of cumplay at the end, female reader
a/n: i am probably going to write a part two for this.
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chan stopped seeing you as a younger sibling sometime ago.
you used to just be minho's little sister. the girl who occasionally appeared in the living room when he had sleepovers at the house, the girl he only talked to when it was under minho's presence, the girl he never felt any form of sexual attraction towards.
but then times changed. he grew older, taller, and bigger while you... well, you definitely did grow older. not so much taller, though. it felt as if only him and minho managed to sprout some height after puberty while yours went completely neglected in your genes. and definitely not bigger—actually, yes. some part of you grew bigger, in a very arousing and distracting way if chan could admit. but you were still quite small compared to his much broader shoulders.
chan never thought too much of it. he had made too many petty jokes about you staying as small and weak as a midget for years, his mindset was stuck at that childish thought. it was only until christmas gathering last year when he joined your family for the holiday did he finally realize how much more attractive you have grown.
you have always been pretty. chan would not expect anything less as you are lee minho's little sister, and minho was one hell of a good-looking man. the big doe eyes with the perfect nose bridge, and of course pretty pink lips that makes a pretty smile—you were always pretty. chan never verbally acknowledged it but he never verbally denied it either.
over time, your beauty has matured. you innocent eyes learned how to act tough in front of strangers and your pretty smile knew to come to the rescue in awkward situation. you have grown to learn how to benefit yourself in a society that, unfortunately, ran on a system that relied heavily on appearances.
but chan hasn't seen your tactics be used on him before. when he arrived at your house last year, you looked at him the same way you had always looked at him—a little distant but still with faint fondness, a gaze that screamed friendly and comfortable.
in terms of expressions and attitude, you were small when it came to him. and something about that special treatment (which wasn't exactly special) made his insides churn.
what made it even worse was the night of christmas dinner, when you three decided to sit down in his room to hang out while the adults gathered in the living room to chat the night away.
you had stolen minho's hoodie, that chan knew because it was one size too big on minho and therefore two sizes too big on you. you wore a pair of polyester shorts that only faintly peeked out the hem of the cuddly hoodie, and your tiny feet was covered by a pair of ugly, green fuzzy socks.
but what stung him the most was how careless you acted around him, as if he was your brother as well.
you had been eating chips at that time, happily smacking your lips away as you ate up the family portioned chip bag on your own. and chan could not care less about you never sharing the snacks at that time. he just knew you were sucking on your fingers a little too hard and moaning at the taste a little too loudly for him to concentrate on his phone.
and the way your legs flaunted around on minho's bed as you munched on the food, spreading them in a comfortable position but not spreading enough for him to catch a glimpse into the gaps of your shorts. and you looked so small with your legs thrown over the pile of dirty laundry on the edge of your brother's bed, your back against the mattress and your breasts perking up at the cursed angle.
chan was going insane, he had to snap his head away when minho threw a random pillow at you, scolding you to sit up properly.
he was told—threatened—later by minho to stop having perverted ideas about you. but chan didn't listen, obviously. for the rest of that night, all he had thought about was shoving his fingers down your throat and fucking you in your brother's hoodie. he could imagine all the ways you would whimper and moan under his weight when he's got your legs thrown over his shoulder, and the thought alone made his chest burn.
chan was unable to see you the same, platonic way ever again since that christmas.
"bang chan!"
your irritated voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he quickly looked away from the dark corner he was staring at. you were frowning at him by the television set, your hands rested in a box of movie cds.
chan's eyes casually scanned your figure, as if it wasn't all he thought about after you walked downstairs, drowned that oversized shirt and pajama shorts he took a generous peek at as your shirt rode up your ass upon you reaching upward.
"yeah, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting up from the couch and leaning his elbows on his knees to look at you with an arched brow.
you felt slightly intimidated by his change of stance; he was just sulking at the corner of the sofa looking exhausted and small, how did he manage to change his aura with just a change of position?
and his duality was always so damn hot to you for some reason! the way he could smile at you one second and glare at an uncomfortable stranger the next was none other than seducing.
"are you kidding me–do you want to watch a movie or not, chan?" you asked as you pulled your hands out of the box, preparing to put it back into the shelf and let it gather dust there until the next holiday when minho didn't get called up to spend the night with his girlfriend instead. "i am actually okay with just being on our phones, we don't have to watch a movie."
chan blinked at you, surprised by your fed-up tone even though he had done nothing but sit on the couch after dinner. perhaps you were mad at minho for ditching you both? but why would you be mad about that unless you didn't want to spend alone time with him? maybe you just had an argument with your parents, that was why you felt extra grumpy.
as chan drowned in his thoughts and assumptions, he had not realized you plopping down on the couch across from him. you breathed out a heavy sigh as you unlocked your phone, sliding against the cushion and throwing your extended legs on top of his lap.
oh, there you were with the carelessness again. twisting your legs and only barely brushing across his groin each time you swung your feet his way. and if he saw clearly, you weren't wearing a bra as well, you little brat.
chan glanced down at your bare feet then, and something about your slim ankles in comparison to his much bigger hand fueled the hotness in his abdomen. he could just grab them and pull you to him, spreading your legs wide for him. and what could you do? he was so much stronger than you.
manhandling you would be both an effortless and pleasurable experience.
you huffed out a sigh, distracting him once again. he turned to find you frowning at the ceiling, your arm dangling to the side with your phone gripped tightly in your hand.
chan gulped down his lustful mind and asked, hoping to start a normal conversation. "you've been acting grumpy all day. what happened to you, hmm?"
you peered down at him, your chest heaving and, unbeknownst to you, nipples protruding through the thin fabric of your shirt. "i met this guy on campus last month. he was helping out with some fraternity shit and i was walking past, and then he stopped me to get my number," you said. "we have been texting a lot, and recently he asked me out. we planned to hang out sometime this week, actually, since it is the holiday and all."
chan furrowed his brows. the word fraternity definitely did not stick well with him and he had not taken you for someone who would be obsessed over attractive and irresponsible frat boys. turning to you, he asked, "is it not working out?"
you groaned under your breath. "no, it is for now," you muttered, glancing to the side shyly when you realized what you were about to say. "it's just... i'm not sure if it will be fine after the date."
"why?" he pressed on, finding the reddening of your cheeks very amusing.
"it's just... he said he is going to make a move on me and he told me to prepare for it..." you replied quietly, finding the once arousing words to be sappy and cringey once you repeated them. "but i have never had... i've–i haven't done anything before, like i don't even know the first thing about sucking someone off."
chan clenched his jaw. he was just slightly angered at the idea that some stupid boy would have the privilege of having your mouth wrapped around his useless dick when all he has ever gotten were temptations and imaginations. your big, innocent eyes looking up at him in confirmation and waiting for him to guide you through it all—fuck, he could cum just thinking about it.
"i can teach you," he suddenly suggested, shooting his shot and taking his chances. he looked over at you, eyes burning holes at your head. "if you want to, i can teach you. right here, right now."
his voice went an octave lower, the metallic hotness of it sending shivers down your spine. how would you fend if he whispered next to your ear, just inches apart with his hot breath blowing against your skin? you squeezed your thighs together at the thought, knowing very well he noticed how squirmish you were becoming because his was smirking with a devil laced on his lips.
"h–how?" you stuttered out.
chan poked his tongue to the corner of his lips. what a desperate bitch, you were willing to suck another man's dick to make sure the real deal would be mind-blowing. something about that was thrilling to him, the fact that he was the first one to take it from you instead of that ill-promising boy in your phone.
"on the floor, kneel," he beckoned you to him by pointing at the space before him.
you quickly dropped onto the ground and scurried over to kneel between his legs, your heart pounding in your chest as you watched him move his sweats down by a little. his cock sprung out upon release, standing long and thick against his tummy due to how hard he was. you bit back a gasp but your widened eyes told him everything, and your fascination only fueled his dominance impeccably.
fuck, you looked so breakable like this.
"i'm sure you have seen a dick before so i am going to spare you the details," he said as he gave his dick a few pumps. then, he leaned forward slightly and grabbed you by your chin, tilting your head up to look at him.
his eyes grew soft for a moment and he rubbed his fingers at your skin comfortingly. "you can stop this anytime you want, okay, (name)?" he said, smiling faintly at you.
you sent him a timid nod, your lips pursed adorably and your eyes sparkling up at him. frankly, you were too occupied with lusting over thing massive thing in front of your face for you to really process your thoughts, but what does it matter?
if you were thinking about it so much then you knew you wanted it.
upon your agreement, chan's eyes switched to something different. they were cold now, hooded with a sea storm of lust, overwhelmingly icy yet he seemed to be melting at the sight of you succumbing to hits authority. it was a gaze that made you feel both inferior but anticipated somehow.
"you're gonna suck me off well, baby girl?" he asked, but it sounded more like a demand. it sounded as if he expects nothing less than worshipping his cock from you, that you will suck him off good because that was all you're here for.
"i... i don't know how..." you muttered.
chan exhaled through his nose, his lips still quirked up. he gripped your chin just a tad bit tighter, causing you to look at him with wide eyes.
"don't worry, you will get to hang of it," he mused before lowering his voice. "but daddy's gonna need you to speak a little louder than that next time, got it?"
a blush crept up your cheeks, the heat in your core magnifying when chan just manifested a guilty pleasure of yours in real life. you have only heard it in porn and read it in fanfiction, perhaps you also did imagine yourself saying it once or twice in a sexual context, but imagination could never be associated with the truth. what if you sounded awkward saying it? that would be horrible.
"baby girl?" chan tugged at your chin, faint impatience laced in his voice as he peered down at your. "were you daydreaming?"
"no, daddy–" you clamped your mouth shut at how easy the word flew out of your lips.
chan held back a groan. how perfect you were, calling him such an endearment that has been tainted with filth. he would not wait to hear you gag around his cock, your voice unable to punch out any words because your mouth was stuffed.
"well? do you want to start now or do i have to tell you to lick?" he gave you a welcoming gesture, leaning back against the couch and waiting.
you gulped down a nervous breath and reached out tentatively to grab his dick in your hands. it was hard, with a surprisingly soft but veiny surface. bringing it over to your lips whilst leaning in, you let the tip stop at the entrance of your mouth and you looked up at chan, as if asking for permission.
"go on," he urged you. "try and make daddy feel good."
he said that like it would be a challenge for you, but he had lost from the start when you agreed to do this. a hiss left his lips when you experimented with licking his tip. and when you realize it was not as rough as you thought it would feel, you continued with it, your tongue pressing flat against the surface as you dragged it down and around the sensitive bub.
this was a different kind of sexy. chan has been used to sloppy and fast blowjobs all his life because the few people he had had sex with were all much more experienced than you were. they were good, he had to admit, they had been good.
but you—oh, you. you were just especially and irresistibly hot. there was something about the way you kneeled in front of him, your careful hands wrapped around the base of his cock like a bottle too big for your hands to hold as your tongue flicked along his tip and his shaft with calculations, aiming to do nothing but pleasure him.
you were slow and sensual with it due to how uncertain you were with what to do. and god, was that painfully seductive. the way you were taking your sweet time giving his cock your undivided attention, forcing him to feel everything and ink down all of your movements in his head—the hotness of your tongue as you curved around his shape, the infuriating fire he felt when your tongue traced up his veins and leave once you were close to his tip, the egoistic dominance you were making him feel when you looked up at him with those big, obedient eyes.
it was like you couldn't live without his validation. and you were willing to sit in front of him for hours with his dick in your mouth, pleasuring him just to get a hint of approval. and it kept reminding him that he was in charge here, that you have to wait for him to tell you what to do and when to do it.
when you were finally getting a bit braver, watching the way chan bit his lips and how his chest heaved, you decided to hollow your cheeks to suck at him for the first time.
and chan groaned—a borderline growl—when you took more of him in your mouth to pull at his dick, your tongue stuck over your bottom lip and flapping against his shaft. as you released him from your mouth, you pressed a tight kiss to his tip and spit your saliva down to make it look like cum, then you lathered his length with the filthy wetness, still sucking on him like you would a popsicle or a lollipop.
and god, he was trying too hard. he was trying so damn hard not to grab you by your hair and just fuck your throat like a fleslight. he still wanted to give you the chance to do whatever felt comes to mind, and so far you have really been doing phenomenal things to him.
"fuck, baby girl," he grumbled through clenched teeth, feeling pleasure override his senses. "that was good, keep doing that."
your eyes lit up at the compliment, a mini giggle falling out your lips and sending vibration down his skin. chan moaned at the feeling as you went just a tad bit faster in your repetition, mixing the rough sucks with baby licks and creating a symphonic contrast that soon pushed him close to the edge.
the knot at his swollen tip was building and chan could not resist anymore. he needed you to go at his pace, something faster and rougher. with a groan, he let his hands move the back of your head before he pushed you down on his cock, a breathy moan leaving him when you squealed in surprise.
you could not breathe, his length was too big for your little mouth. the feeling of his tip touching your throat was overwhelmingly unsatisfactory, but somewhere deep within you, you knew you wanted it. because chan's voice has never sounded better all breathy and feral like this, and it was all because you put your stupid mouth to good use for once.
your hands gripped his flexed thighs in support while chan, for a second, forgot you were a breathing human being and just snapped his hips up at you like you could take it all with no trouble. he was going fast, pushing your head down and thrusting up to meet your throat while he threw his head back at the heavenly vibration you sent him through letting out struggling noises.
fuck, your mouth felt so good. the feeling stuck at the tip of his cock released when a certain suck pushed him over the edge and burst his control. he shot his heavy load down your throat and coating up your inner cheeks before pushing your head away with a pop and slumping against the couch.
his chest was panting, you could see. and when he peered down at you, he arched a brow and smirked at you.
you waited from him to regain his energy. when he did, he leaned forward to your face and hummed in thoughts, as if accessing what other ways he could possibly wreck you up. you widened your eyes when he reached out to touch his thumb to your lips, his fingers tilting your chin up to face him.
"open up," he ordered, and you did with your tongue sticking out slightly for show. he almost laughed; you learned that from watching porn, didn't you?
his cum was still on your tongue, he wondered if you were reluctant to swallow them. he could deal with you not doing that, you have already given him such a mind-blowing blowjob despite it being your first time. however, even then, he still wanted to see something he had always wanted to try.
reaching his thumb into your mouth, he gathered up some of his cum and slowly, plastered them over your lips like he was applying your lipstick. when he was done, he let his thumb stay in your mouth and he gestured to you.
knowing what he was asking for, you first grazed your teeth over his skin before you sucked on it like a binky. his cum smacked together and left trails all over his hand and your lips, messy but so fucking hot at the same time.
and then he pulled out of you, removing his hand and going back to himself. he stared at you for a moment, once again contemplating. and when he reached over for you again, instead of another round of shoving and pulling, his hand moved to the back of your head and he rubbed the spot he just yanked at. then he gave your head a gentle pat.
he smiled at you softly. "you did so great, baby girl."
you wanted to smile at his compliment, but something about him speaking as if this was the end of it made disappointment settle in your chest. chan could sense your dismay through the pout, and his heart jumped slightly at the knowledge that you might want more than just sucking him off.
"why are you pouting, hmm?" he asked then, squeezing your cheek and looking directly at you. "do you want daddy to do something?"
his finger was trailing an alluring line down your cheek and your neck now. he knew what he was doing, and you knew you had to be the one to say it in order for him to keep going down to where you wanted him the most, the heated pool right between your legs.
"yes, please," you said, still shy about doing a minimal amount of dirty talk.
"hmm?" he raised his brows in amusement. "what is it that you want me to do, baby girl?"
oh, there were so many things you wanted him to do to you. but one of which took up the most space in your desires was to have him fuck you raw and open on whatever surface he so pleases. you would give anything to feel him inside of you.
"i..." you sucked in a breath, your cheeks reddening uncontrollably at the thought of having to verbalize your filthy fantasies. "i–i want daddy to make me feel good."
chan smirked, his finger that is was once trailing down your neck finally made its way to the center. his hand palmed over the area of your collarbones before he raised the position of his hand a little. he squeezed the base of your neck, loving the bobbing of the breathy throat.
oh, you pretty, little thing.
he's gonna fuck you so hard you won't even remember the boy who made you do this in the first place.
703 notes · View notes
tuanhood · 4 years ago
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lambda
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pairing: frat!mark tuan x reader
genre: angst, enemies to lovers (kinda), smut, fluff
warnings: 18+, language, cringey frat stuff, dirty talk, oral sex (male receiving), explicit sex. 
word count: 11,400+
summary: your last choice was renting a room at a frat house over the summer, especially after you told yourself you were done with anything frat related, but when your ex ditches you last minute its your only option. now... if only you could stop dreaming about the president of lambda chi.
a/n: surprise again! mark won the poll!! but like I said i think i’m going to continue doing a frat one shot for each member. so it’ll be like a little anthology series!! but i have no clue when i will write the other once so please bare with me :) Also if there’s some frat stuff in here that doesn’t make sense just let me know in my ask or if you have any questions i’ll be happy to answer! 
alpha | delta | gamma | kappa | theta | sigma
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“Who do you know here?” you found yourself being asked before even fully stepping onto the property.
The douchey guy with his backwards baseball cap and muscle tee – sporting his letters of course – looked you up and down as if trying to place you.
“No one actually.”
He looked confused, “wait seriously? You’re just going to admit that right off the bat? Usually people try to make something up.”
“See I’m not here to play games… Kyle? I’m guessing your name is Kyle. I have the unfortunate pleasure of living here over the summer, because this was the cheapest and most last-minute housing I could find. Now I’m just going to go up to my room and mind my own business while you and your brothers throw this stupid party that better be over before midnight.”
“You could have just said you live here…” the boy mumbled mostly to himself, “well welcome home and congrats on moving in! I’m Bambam by the way.”
He thrusted his hand forward to you, almost forgetting about the mob of people behind you waiting to get in and see if they pass the “vibe” check to get past the front door. You were sure in any other circumstance you would not be passing the vibe check.
“Wow Bambam…” you said to yourself considering the name. He looked delighted as if you were so enthralled by the unique quality of it. You were however, thinking about how Bambam was even worse than “Kyle.”
“And you are?” he asked.
“Dude can you stop flirting and keep the line moving! I’m trying to get wasted before 11!” someone yells from deep in the line behind you.
“Hey! I’m the one who says how fast or slow this line moves! Fuck off man or you can go find your own kick back,” Kyl- Bambam yelled.
Snorting, you rolled your eyes, “you call this a kick back?” You gestured to the full house behind him, deciding to leave out those who were sitting on the roof.
“If the normal school year isn’t in session and the house isn’t over 50% occupied with members, then it’s a kick back. Chapter rules.”
“Would love to see that rulebook, if you have it handy,” you laughed, joking. Somehow, Bambam didn’t get it and cocked his head to the side absorbing your comment, “you really want to see the rules? I mean I could bring it to you later if you-” 
“That’s fine Kyl-Bambam, I’m good. I’m just going to go inside now.”
“Bet, see you later.”
The way he said it makes you think that he means he’ll see you later at the party. That would however be completely wrong, because there was no way you were going to hang out with these disgusting egocentric heathens that just want to fuck and get drunk.
Fraternity housing hadn’t been you first choice for this summer. In fact, it probably hadn’t been your last choice either, but this is what you were stuck with. Staying at school over the summer had been a very last-minute choice – for reasons you weren’t ready to discuss – and by the time you were searching for housing, everything that was cheap and decent had been taken. Instead you were left with cheap and… chaotic.
“Whoa watch out!” You heard being yelled by some douche in a bucket hat as soon as you stepped into your new home.
It had been a week since you moved in, but you hadn’t made any effort to get to know any of the other people staying over the summer. Regardless of whether they were in the same predicament as you or if they were actually members of the org, you weren’t particularly interested in face to face time. After the Spring Quarter you had, you needed alone time and this summer you didn’t plan on making friends with your housemates… Especially if they were in a frat.
Your first week had actually, however, gone somewhat okay. No one had tried to interact with you – in fact you had barely seen anyone else in the house – and there had been no disturbing sounds or noises… It almost didn’t feel like you were living in a frat house, besides the urinals in the bathroom and the boxes of energy drinks that lined a few of the hallways. You were pleased to say the least, until you turned onto Greek row and heard all of the noise from the corner.
Please don’t be Lambda. Please don’t be Lambda. Please don’t be Lambda. Please don’t be Lamb-
The silent prayer in your head clearly hadn’t been heard as you had grown closer and closer to the house you were staying in. Lo and behold you had been met with a very large line of people waiting to get in, loud music and trash all over the lawn. What had you been expecting by choosing to live in a frat?
The bucket hat guy’s warning didn’t faze you. As soon as you process his words you placed your hand up to smack the Styrofoam football he had thrown to the ground. You weren’t in the mood for an obstacle course, you just wanted to get to your room and put in earplugs so you could rest before work tomorrow morning.
“Whoa you got mad fast reflexes. Do you play?” he asked grabbing the object off of the sticky floor.
You couldn’t tell if he was genuinely curious or not. But judging on the way he eyed you up and down, there were other things that were actually on his mind.
Side eyeing him, you snorted, “yeah… I’m not doing this,” you motioned your hand at him in circles and turned to head towards the main stairs. His words stopped you, “wow are we heading there already? Just give me a minute to tell my brothers I can’t watch drinks table anymore.”
Instinctively you cracked your knuckles, bucket hat guy found himself clearing his throat noticing the small detail that showcased your frustration. Turning around, it takes everything in you not to slap him, but more likely than not, this guy probably lived with you as well. Although you didn’t care for being friends with your housemates, it probably wouldn’t be a good look to be the housemate who slapped the people she shared a home with. So instead of a physical reaction, you simply clenched your jaw and went with the most basic response.
“I live here. I’m going to my room.”
Instead of showing any kind of shame or embarrassment for his very wrong estimate about where the situation was going, bucket hat clicks his tongue – almost in a disapproving way.
“Just watch out… we’re using the rooms on the second floor for hookup space. Or wait was it the third?”
As if you couldn’t have been more annoyed.
“What the fuck? How can you guys use the rooms up there when people are renting them out? How can you even use them when they’re locked?”
Bucket hat started to blink too much as if considering your very real query, “The President has a master key to all the rooms. What do you expect deciding to live in Greek housing for the summer?”
If you had known how much this frat didn’t care about personal space or just basic human rights, you would have never chosen to stay at Lambda Chi. In fact, you would have never chosen a fraternity at all – cheap price or not.
“Is it the second or third floor?”
“Don’t remember,” he hummed, no longer paying you any mind but twirling the football in his hand and eyeing a group of girls who had walked by.
Groaning, you snapped your fingers to regain his attention, “It makes a difference so remember.”
He shrugged and looked at you with an annoyed look on his face, “listen you’re kind of bringing my mood down… And I think I hear someone calling me from the kitchen so…” he pointed his thumb somewhere behind him, “I’m just gonna do that instead.”
Bucket hat guy leaves you standing in the main foyer, squished amongst other people, without another word. Although, you swear you heard him mutter something about you “not passing the vibe check.”
Left without a clue of what to do, you figured that the only viable option you had was to go find the President. Luckily bucket hat gave you one sliver of useful information.
Whipping around, you go to ask Bambam where exactly you could find the President, but he’s too enthralled in a conversation with one of the girl’s waiting in line to get in. It probably would do you more harm than good to get involved in that.
Searching around the space in the front of the house, you look for another brother who could perhaps help you with your task.
Right… Shouldn’t be too hard. Just look for someone who’s confident enough to think they’d be able to get out of a DUI.
A loud laugh caught your attention, it comes from a guy holding a Grey Goose bottle and letting random girls take pulls out of it.
Perfect.
You approached him, placing a gentle hand on his arm that holds the bottle to get his attention. He took notice of you immediately, giving you the same exact look bucket hat had given you earlier. What was up with these guys? They weren’t even trying to be subtle.
“You want a pull?” He asked with a smirk, shaking the bottle in his hand at you.
Shaking your head, you cleared your throat, “I’m looking for the President… Where would I find him?”
Grey Goose bottle guy wiggled his eyebrows at you. Gross. “Ah I see… you want Mr. President. I think he’s in his room.” You wanted to be cordial, but these people just weren’t making it easy.
“What room is his again?” You asked, batting your eyelashes in the most normal way possible – as if that was normal for you.
Grey Goose placed his hand under his chin and tapped it as if deep in thought. He paused and smiled, “I’ll tell you if you take a pull.”
Where were you right now? In what dimension was this actually happening to you? If you told your friends back home about having to take a pull from a bottle of Grey Goose in order to find the President of a fraternity to get him to stop maybe letting people hook up in the room you’re paying for, they wouldn’t believe you. You didn’t believe it.
Sighing you brought your hand up, in a “give it to me” motion. Grey Goose smiled proudly and brings the bottle up, tipping it into your mouth once you have your head leaned back and lips parted. It felt like forever by the time he finally brings the bottle up from your mouth. The burning sensation in your throat makes you want to throw up, and for a moment you think you are, but somehow you manage to take a deep breath and control yourself.
“That was awesome! I think you took like a shot and a half.” I know, you wanted to yell at him, but you bit your tongue. Usually pull meant a swig, not 66 milliliters of vodka.
Wiping your lips with the back of your hand, already feeling lightheaded, you repeated your earlier question, “what room is his?”
Grey Goose nodded, “he’s on the third floor. There’s a huge sign on the door that says President with the chapter’s crest, you can’t miss it.” If it truly was that easy, maybe you should have just gone looking yourself instead of being blackmailed into consuming alcohol the night before you had to work.
“Thanks,” you muttered to him, not bothering to wait and hear a response. You found yourself back at the main stairs, taking two steps at a time until you reached the third floor. It wasn’t long before you realized Grey Goose was right, his room wasn’t hard to miss.
Usually you were a rational thinker. You liked thinking out your thoughts before you turned them into actions, but in this case, you couldn’t stop yourself from knocking on the door as soon as you’re in front of it.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
There’s no answer. Was it possible he wasn’t in his room anymore? You tried again.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
This time your ears catch noise behind the door. There was someone inside, but they were just choosing to ignore you.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
This time the noise was clearer and you can make out specific words being said.
“Maybe they’ll just go away.”
Before you could stop your usual logical mind, you’re reaching for the doorknob – annoyed by this “President” who was trying to make you leave. To your surprise, the handle turns and you swung the door open slowly, being met with a mostly dark room aside from one bedside lamp being on.
“What the fuck?” The deep voice startled you as if you had been expecting no one to actually be on the other side of the door. What the hell were you doing?
Your eyes landed on the large bed in the middle of the room and you really wished you hadn’t. The two half naked figures on top of one another looked at you with wide eyes, the girl immediately grabbing the comforter to cover herself pushing the guy, causing him to fall off the bed.
“Are you for real right now?” the guy asked you from the floor, “get the fuck out!”
You felt frozen in your spot, your hand still on the door knob and unable to break your gaze from the boy on the floor. It was like you were a virgin again based on the way you were staring at his toned chest and muscular arms. You were certain if he hadn’t been sitting and crouched on the floor, you would be eyeing the black boxer briefs that rest on his hips.
“What’s wrong with you? I said get out!”
It’s almost as though his second demand for you to leave is what woke you up, suddenly mumbling a “sorry,” and shutting the door closed.
Opening the door to someone’s room without approval wasn’t something you typically did – you had simply done it as a reaction to the stressful situation you were in. Openly staring at a frat boy definitely wasn’t something you typically did either. It was like your brain had shut off and you weren’t going to let it happen again.
You continued standing in front of the door, unsure of what to do. Should you wait for him to… finish? Was that even the President? Maybe this was your sign that the third floor was the hook up floor. If so, then you were in the clear to go back to your room… so why didn’t your feet want to move?
“Mina come on! Don’t leave! We can keep going!” This time the voice behind the door is much louder and clear.
“You were dumb enough to leave it unlocked! I shouldn’t even be doing this anyways… my loyalty lies with Sigma Chi.” 
“What? Just because they’re Phi Mu’s affiliate frat? That’s bullshit!”
“My sisters will kill me if they find out I was with a Lambda,” you heard her say, her voice becoming louder signaling she was approaching the door.
“I don’t understand why that has to stop us from fucking though!”
The door swung open and you find yourself taking a step back, looking away to pretend like you weren’t eavesdropping. The girl glanced at you and rolled her eyes before ignoring the boy behind and heading down the hallway to go downstairs.
While pretending to be fixated on the wall’s chipped paint, you glanced out of the corner of your eye to see the guy in his doorway, clearly annoyed at the situation. He ran his hand through his hair out of frustration and you can’t ignore how fluffy it looked. You watched him run it through three times, before you make yourself look away.
“You,” he grumbled pointing at you, “Here. Now.” He quickly turned, going back into his room, leaving the door open for you to follow. You think that maybe you shouldn’t follow him, but judging on the way he looked back at you with an intimidating stare, it was probably the right choice.
You awkwardly stood next to his desk and watched him reach into his closet to grab a robe to throw over his naked torso, shielding his body from you. As he tied it and sat down on the bed, leaning forward, you’re able to see a sliver of his chest and collarbone where the robe hangs down. It confused you as to why he wouldn’t just put his regular clothes back on, but you found yourself not being annoyed in the slightest at the display of skin.
His eyes bore into you, and it’s almost as though he’s waiting for you to speak first – to say something to make up for your invasion of his privacy.
“Are you the President?”
He looked at you as if you were insane, “what the hell does it say on the door?”
All of the annoyance and frustration that had fueled your fire downstairs, making you a woman on a rampage had dissipated. For some reason standing in front of this guy, you felt like a small child being talked down to. In any other situation you would fight back and show him you weren’t going to take his tone, but for some reason you couldn’t find it in you.
“I was just making sure… okay?”
Mr. President cracked his knuckles, “Why the hell did you barge into my room?” You don’t answer him. You were trying to think of what you would normally say or do to a guy like this, but your mind went blank once again. “You just cost me a hook up tonight, so speak.” His tone is a mixture of aggravated and bored – if that was something that was even possible.
“I mean you’re the one who left the door unlocked…” you mumbled to yourself, but the anger on his face signals that he heard. He threw up his hands, “That still doesn’t give you the right to just walk into a room that’s not yours.”
That really got you. You felt the flame within you being lit once again. “Look who’s talking.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“You’re the one who’s letting people’s rooms be used for sex without their permission. Invading their privacy!” you growled.
Mr. President blinked at you blankly and judging on his reaction, it almost seemed like he didn’t know what you were talking about. Oh… he’s good.
“Excuse me? What kind of place do you think this is? This isn’t an authoritarian regime.”
You took a step forward to where he sat on the bed, waving your finger, “then explain to me why one of your little minions downstairs told me that.”
“I have no clue who would tell you that… or why.”
“Bucket hat… football,” those are the only two words you can think of to describe him, but you hoped that would be enough. Almost instantly he nodded, “Ah Jaebeom… Yeah he was definitely just fucking with you.”
You took a step back out of shock. This was all a joke? These idiot Lambda Chi boys had been playing you? “So, I took a pull from Grey Goose guy’s bottle for nothing? I came up here for nothing? I walked in on you and Ms. Phi Mu for nothing?”
He ignored your comment about the girl’s sorority, a clear admission that you had been listening through the door, “Grey Goose? Do you mean Youngjae?”
The last fifteen minutes had filled you with enough inconveniences, stress, annoyance and embarrassment to feel like a lifetime… and this was only after one week of living in this house. How were you going to last the entire summer? Deal with all of the parties… the douchey boys objectifying you and treating everything like it was a funny joke. Not to mention their chapter’s President who seemed bitter and rude. Surprisingly attractive… but bitter and rude.
Instead of confirming Mr. President’s suspicions that Grey Goose guy was indeed this Youngjae person, you nodded solemnly towards the direction of his door, “I’m going to my room.”
“Wait… you’re living here over the summer?”
When he asked the question, you begin to feel the alcohol you had consumed earlier. Instead of feeling drunk it made you feel dizzy, tired and heavy. It made you feel even more defeated than you already felt from your sudden reality that this was your life for the next three months.
You threw up an unenthusiastic thumbs up and slowly made your way to the door. He looked at you stunned for your sudden disengagement in the conversation you were having. Although to you it didn’t feel like a conversation. Conversations were meant to be constructive, collaborative… Whatever this was, wasn’t that.
You’re in the doorway when he speaks again, “It’s Mark by the way… for when you dream about me later.”
Clenching your fists, you don’t give him the satisfaction of looking back no matter how much you weirdly want to. To see his fluffy hair, bounce as he shakes his head from side to side, that golden tanned skin, his huge-
That’s enough.
That night it takes you nearly two hours to fall asleep. You spend the first hour with a pillow over your head, trying to drown out the party downstairs. The second however, is spent thinking about one… Mr. President. It makes you feel nauseated and when you finally wake up for work the next the morning, all you can remember is the fluffy hair in your dream.
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Four days had passed since the party and you hadn’t run into any of the brothers since then. No Kyle, no bucket hat, no Grey Goose. Or Bambam, Jaebom and Youngjae… or whatever. And no Mark. Not that you had been thinking about seeing him again.
Those four days felt peaceful – normal almost, that was until now. Those calming four days came to an end when you came home from your afternoon shift at work, the guys all sitting on the front porch with beers in their hands.
You were quite aware of “porch” culture amongst the fraternities at your school. The members would drag ratty old indoor furniture such as loveseats and armchairs onto the porch near the front door and sit there for hours. They’d drink their beers, play their loud music and shout things at people walking by. Yes, you knew porch culture very well… It was how you had met your ex-boyfriend.
“Well look who we have here!” Jaebeom – sans bucket hat – shouted as you began walking up the path to the porch, “haven’t seen you since the party sweetheart.”
“Shut up man you can’t say that stuff anymore. Feminism and all that,” Bambam said hitting Jaebeom’s shoulder. If you were held at gunpoint and forced to pick a favorite out of them – it would probably be Bambam. He had done the least to annoy you thus far, but you weren’t holding your breath.
“I’m going inside,” you hoped your emotionless tone is enough to get them to leave you be and just get into the house. You’d rather not spend any more time than you have to with the guys – especially during porch time.
“Heard you got history on the row Y/n,” Youngjae’s words made you stop in your tracks. This was the last thing you wanted to talk about, especially with them. You gave Youngjae a death glare, trying to communicate with him to keep his Grey Goose filled mouth shut.
The way Mark looked up at you behind his IPA doesn’t go unnoticed by you. In his mind he was trying to be discrete. He tried to present a look that was a mixture of intrigue but also indifference, even though in reality he was eager to hear his friend’s story about you.
“Some Sigma Chi history to be more specific,” Youngjae wiggled his eyebrows and you have to stop yourself from slapping the smile off of his face.
If there was anything you truly knew about frat guys, it was that every action they did or thing they said was all meant to get a reaction out whatever person they’re torturing. Acting like you didn’t care was going to bring the stakes down for Youngjae and he would ditch the story altogether. Clearing your throat, you shrugged your shoulders, “yeah so what. It’s history and history is in the past so… that’s all that needs to be said.”
He looked at you with the same stupid smile and it doesn’t falter at all. You must have shown too big of a reaction in your response.
“You dated Ryan for almost a year – I’d say that’s a record for someone at Sigma Chi,” him and the boys laughed – all of them except Mark who’s still looking at you, but pretending not to.
You tell yourself not to get upset, not to get angry or cry – because that’s what they wanted from you. Here they were treating the “relationship” you were in like a joke and you had to remain a stone wall, unaffected. Well fuck that.
“Yeah it was a record for me falling for the stupid and douchery of the typical frat guy who was actually fucking other girls the entire time unbeknownst to me because in actuality he never considered us together. But hey what can you do when you’re dealing with guys who have big egos and small dicks?”
The boys stared at you with blank faces, you swear you see Mark smile behind his bottle.
“Is she talking about us too?” Jaebeom whispered to Bambam, “Dude… I think maybe.” Without another word, you pushed open the front door aggressively, making sure it closes behind you loudly.
You don’t know why you thought your “relationship” with your ex-boyfriend was going to work out. The two of you had met because you had been passing by his house during porch time and he cat called you. What the fuck were you thinking? Even at that point you had thought guys in fraternities were terrible, but for some reason that day you just went along with one of them objectifying you… And you fucking made him into your “boyfriend.” That day you had been feeling insecure and low – that was the only explanation you had for your out of character actions.
Being with Ryan only continued your influx of out of character actions. You spent all you free time with him when you weren’t in school or working. Apparently however, all of his free time hadn’t been spent with you. The truth came out after you had planned on staying with him over the summer at his family’s lake house. It had been something you two had talked about for months and when you were only a month away, he had hit you with a bomb.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this live together thing over the summer. Samantha might get mad.”
To which you had asked, “who’s Samantha?” Then the guy who you had thought was your boyfriend went on to explain how the other girl he was seeing – Samantha – would get jealous if he brought you to the lake house instead of her. The next thing to come out of your mouth was a big “fuck you” and “I never want to see you again.” Hence why your decision to stay at school over the summer was so last minute and you were forced to stay in a fraternity house which was so much like the one your heart had been broken in only a month earlier.
You should have known Ryan wasn’t serious about you – no frat guy at your school would ever be serious with an unaffiliated girl like you. The sex should have told you how serious he was. It would always be the fast, rough kind of fucking where he mostly had you in doggy position or with your mouth around his dick. There was none of the lazy, slow passionate sex that came when you were actually serious or mesmerized by someone.
“What the hell is up with Sigma Chi getting all the hot girls?” you heard Jaebeom ask from the porch. The idiots had left the front window open so anyone could hear what they were talking about – but there weren’t really any boundaries when it came to brotherhood. Instead of leaving and going upstairs, you remained frozen in your spot with an ear positioned to the window. For some reason it seemed like living in this house was turning you into an eavesdropper.
“Guys don’t talk about her like that.” The chiming in from Mark surprised you, he had been so silent outside when you had been present that you didn’t really expect him to defend you.
“Oh really, why?”
“She’s not just a hot girl…” Mark paused for dramatic effect and you can practically hear all the guys on the edge of their seats, “she’s a super-hot girl.” You rolled your eyes as he finished his thought about you, the guys all giving him high fives and verbal agreement.
“So, what do you say Mr. President? Gonna try to hit that?”
Mark didn’t answer the second question, “Mr. President?”
Bambam laughed, “Oh yeah I overheard her on the phone the other night and that’s what she called you.” Okay maybe Bambam was no longer your favorite, “Mr. President and his fluffy hair.” You aren’t sure if you should be embarrassed because of him exposing you or offended because of the voice he uses to mimic your own. You did not sound like that.
Once again, all the guys laugh, but this time you can’t hear Mark’s own stand out giggling in the mix. For some reason you wished you could see his face right now. That’s when you decide it’s probably best to go upstairs.
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“Take it, take it all,” Mark growled into your ear as he thrusted into you at a brutal pace. You couldn’t respond to him; your mind was too hazed over with pleasure.
“Wow my cock’s that good that you forgot how to speak? I know you think you’re smarter than me, but it looks like you’re wrong. All it takes is for me to be inside of you for one fucking minute for you to act like you don’t even know your own name.”
He’s right. He’s so right and all you can do is agree with him.
He brings his hand down between the two of you to rest on your clit, tapping his finger at the same pace he pumps into you at. “I know you think I’m a dumb frat boy who’s only good at drinking and partying, but how about now, hmm? Don’t you think I’m good at fucking this tight pussy?”
You awake with a gasp. You’re covered in sweat and your hand has somehow found its way underneath your shorts and underwear. Why the fuck were you having a sex dream about Mark? It felt like your entire body was on fire, even your fan being on the high setting wasn’t going to help you in cooling down.
Getting out of bed, you decided to head downstairs to the kitchen. What you needed was a popsicle and a bag of ice. The ice was to help how hot you felt, the popsicle was a distraction from thinking about whatever the fuck your subconscious had just come up with.
“Hello?” The voice coming out of nowhere causes you to jump as you swing one of the freezers in the large kitchen open. You attempted to squint your eyes in the darkness to make out who the voice belongs too, but it’s too difficult to see.
“If you keep your eyes like that, you’re going to ruin your vision,” the lowness of the voice takes you back to only moments ago in your room when you had been hot and absolutely bothered. It was the same voice from your dream.
“What are you doing down here?” you asked, moving your head around the space, still unable to properly see him.
Suddenly, Mark’s face comes into view as he stepped closer to you so he could be seen in the light of the freezer, he’s so close, you hold your breath, “what? No hello?”
You scoffed, “I usually don’t when people are just down here sitting in the dark.” Mark doesn’t respond to your comment about him lurking and positioned his glance to where your hand was placed in the freezer, “feeling hot?” Your eyes went wide, “w-what?”
He pointed to you hand resting on the box of popsicles, “the popsicles…” Laughing awkwardly you pulled one out from the package and go to reach for an ice pack, “oh… yeah.”
Mark nodded his head, “it’s pretty hot tonight… That’s why I came down here. You know heat rises and all that stuff… I’m on the third floor so…” he drifted off and his tone sounds off, unlike when you had first met him. He almost sounded nervous?
“Listen… I want to apologize for the guys on the porch the other day. They brought up all that stuff about you and your Sigma Chi dude… and it wasn’t cool.” You don’t think about the fact that he called you super-hot and laughed with all the guys, but instead you focus on how surprisingly genuine Mark sounded.
“I’m sorry too about coming into your room and ruining your night.”
“Nah you didn’t ruin my life,” there’s a weird pause and it makes you look away from him, but he’s quick to continue, “I mean that girl was just some stupid Phi Mu bimbo.” Without thinking about it, you hit his arm and he flinched at the pain, “ow!”
“You can’t call a woman stupid or a bimbo just because she wouldn’t sleep with you!” He placed his hands up in surrender, “Sorry, sorry! I’m still learning.”
Mark reached behind you into the freezer and grabbed a popsicle himself. When his arm brushes your shoulder and he gets close enough that you can feel his breath on your face you feel the same pulsing in your core from your dream.
“You should probably eat that… It’ll melt,” he motioned to the popsicle in your hand once he’s back in his original spot, “and close the freezer.”
“Right…” you nodded. It felt like you suddenly lost all intellect when you were around this guy, what was happening to you? It had happened with Ryan… but not on this scale at all.
Shutting the freezer, you’re both met with the darkness of the kitchen. This time you’re able to focus in on Mark’s face despite it being pitch black, both of you opening the wrappers of your icy dessert.
“Besides…” Mark began, going back to the previous topic, “from what I’ve learned… sorority girls are trouble. Not really what I’m looking for. I’d much rather be with someone unaffiliated.” His words caused you to choke on your popsicle, coughing until you feel like there’s no breath in you. Mark’s thankful for the darkness, otherwise you’d see his smile at you being so caught off guard.
“Are you okay?” He asked patting your back, just as you’re at the end of your coughing fit.
You nodded your head, but then realize he probably couldn’t see your gesture at being fine, “yeah I’m okay… just… went down the wrong pipe, ya know?”
“Oh, I know.” The way he said it almost suggests something, but you try not to think about it. Otherwise your panties were going to get more damp than they already were from earlier.
Mark takes a deep breath in and sighs after a moment, “I know you think I’m a dumb frat boy who’s only good at drinking and partying-” he began, but you cut him off immediately when you recognize his choice of words.
No fucking way.
They were the words from your dream. You felt your heart beat out of your chest and you became worried. You really didn’t want to hear what he was going to say next.
“I’m going to bed!”
“What?” Mark feels confused at your sudden announcement and the way you quickly rush out of the kitchen, the sound of your feet running up the stairs the only reply to his question.
You were strange… that was for sure. But he kinda liked it.
Smiling to himself, Mark finished up his popsicle in the darkness and headed upstairs to go to sleep.
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“Mark fuck… please fuck me.”
“Oh, is that all you want from me? Is that all I’m good for?”
You aren’t sure what to say, what you need to do to convince him. “N-no.”
“Then tell me… what do you want from me... Really?”
The quick racing of your heart awoke you from your dream. Fuck… not another one.
Should you go see a therapist? Why was this happening to you? It was the third night in a row you had woken up to a Mark Tuan sex dream. This one however, felt different. Unlike the two before it where he was rough with you – this one it seemed like dream you wanted more. Of course, dream you wanted to still be fucked senseless by him – aka the frat boy way – but she was also holding back. She wanted more. She wanted something else. But what?
Climbing out of your bed, you trail down the hallway to the bathroom.
During normal term time all of the bathrooms were for the guys living in the house, but luckily for you they made a few of the bathrooms in the house “ladies only” for the few girls living in the house over the summer. You pushed the door of the bathroom open, being met with the now familiar poorly drawn and weirdly sexual woman stick figure picture taped over original sign.
Expecting to see an empty bedroom, you felt your jaw drop to the floor at Mark’s naked figure in the shower. He hadn’t even bothered closing the curtain.
You felt like you couldn’t move, you felt like you couldn’t think. With his eyes closed under the stream of water, your eyes trailed down his muscular shoulders to his toned abdomen, slowly going down to his length. The same one you had been dreaming about for the last three nights and your fantasies certainly didn’t do it justice.
Before you could truly comprehend the creepiness level of what you were doing, you heard Mark yelp in shock.
“What are you doing!” he yelled, grabbing the curtain from the side and moving it over the lower half of his body.
Your mouth went dry, “I-I-” You attempted to say something, but you felt your eyes watch the droplets of water that cascade down his skin.
“Y/n!” His words snapped you back into motion and you look up at him. It was difficult to say whether the redness on his cheeks were coming from the heat of the water or from his embarrassment of the situation. Mark himself wasn’t sure.
“I- this is the girl’s bathroom. Why are you in here?”
“This bathroom has the best water pressure in the house… I thought since it was so late no one would come in,” he stuttered.
Even though you’re supposed to be having a conversation with him, you find yourself still thinking about how he looked when you first walked in. How long and thick his cock was.
Still recovering from your dream and the peep show you had just been exposed to, you find yourself moving closer to the shower, “you didn’t even close the curtain… It’s almost like you wanted someone to come in here and find you.” He doesn’t say anything, but you make no mistake of noticing the way he grips the curtain harder against his body and the way his breathing gets heavier.
“Did you want someone to find you?” You’re so close to him now that you can feel the steam from the shower opening your pores.
Mark licked his lips, “maybe I wanted you to come find me.”
“Maybe or you did?”
“You know… you do kind of owe me.”
You furrowed your eyebrows. What was he talking about? Weren’t you guys being all sexy? Weren’t you about to do something?
At your nonresponse he smirked and dropped the curtain, revealing all of himself to you once again, “you cockblocked me, so now it’s time for you to make up for it.”
Just like that with your core beginning to throb almost painfully at how much it wants to be touched, you’re set into motion. You join him in the shower, not even caring about getting your pajamas wet. It’s almost as if no logic matters in this moment to you, instead it’s all about you and Mark and your desires for one another.
He pulled you into a heated kiss, pulling you flush against his soaking wet body. You feel his length pressed up against you and you moaned instinctively at the feeling. Your hands roam up and down his body, feeling those muscles you had been obsessing over since your first encounter, stopping when your hand reaches his hardened member.
Instantly Mark groaned out at the feeling of your hand slowly stroking him. He had already felt sensitive and worked up as he had already been thinking about having you under him before you had entered the bathroom.
Mark’s noises send you into another moment of not caring about reality as you kneeled down before him. In any other situation you would be disgusted at the fact that you were willingly on your knees on the floor of a frat’s shower, but this wasn’t any other situation.
You plunge yourself onto him, mouth wide and your tongue lapping at his head. The sudden and almost vicious sucking nearly caused Mark to lose his balance and slip. You pay no mind to the water cascading down your back and beginning to weigh down your hair as you feel yourself be spurred on by the grunts and moans leaving Mark’s mouth.
As you moved more him into your mouth getting a mixture of pre-cum and water dripping from the corners of your lips, you felt Mark buck his hips into you further. The sudden fullness in your mouth until his head was at the back of your throat made you choke around him, Mark bringing his hand to the top of your head to stroke your hair.
“I know how good you are at choking. I know how much you love it, keep fucking going.”
The vibrations from you moaning at his words caused Mark to throw his head back, “show me how much you want my cum. Moan for me, show me.”
Bobbing your head up and down his length, you make no mistake as you continue your noises around him – not for his benefit, but you genuinely felt turned on at just giving him head.
“Fuck, I’m gonna-” before he finished his thought, you felt his warm release in your mouth and you make sure to swallow it instantly.
The sounds of the shower running and Mark’s heavy breathing, coming down from his climax fill the bathroom. It feels like you could just stay here on your knees forever listening to the sounds and you would be fine.
Once Mark catches his breath, he leant down to grab your hand and lifted you up off the wet – and probably filthy – ground. He pulls you into his arms and placed a kiss on your forehead, “damn what the hell am I going to do with you?”
It’s like his words mean more than what he’s going to do with you in the bedroom and somehow that is the thing that finally snapped you into reality. It’s not seeing him naked; it’s not kissing him; it’s not getting down on your knees and suck him dry and it certainly isn’t swallowing his cum. What the hell am I going to do with you?
What the hell was he going to do with you? And what the hell were you going to do with him? The two of you didn’t make sense and you had to remind yourself that you were in a frat house… doing things of a sexual nature with a frat bro. You were not going to find yourself trapped like you were with Ryan. You had sworn off the kind of guy Mark is. You needed to leave it here… no matter how wet and turned on you were right now.
You took a step back, away from Mark and out of his arms, “I- um I should get dry.”
Mark took a step forward and you took another back. He cocked his head to the side, “well… let me help you.” His seductive gaze doesn’t go unnoticed to you, but you have to think with your head for a second. You had already gone against your own “no more frat boys, they can’t commit” beliefs once, you couldn’t do it a second time. You had to quit while you were ahead.
“I’m going to head to bed,” you stepped down from the shower and onto the bathroom tile. Mark lost for words at your sudden distance, “what? Why? Let me take care of you… You haven’t-” Waving your hands, you cut him off not wanting to hear it, “Mark… Don’t. Let’s just leave this at this. Me blowing you because I owed you one…” when it comes out of your mouth, you realize just how ridiculous it all sounded.
Mark took a step toward you, also coming out of the shower and reached to grab his towel, wrapping it around his waist. “Leave it at this? Y/n… I don’t think you understand, I-”
“Mark, I know the kind of guy you are. It’s who your friends are, it’s who all the guys living in this house are, it’s who my fucking ex-boyfriend was. I really can’t do another guy who’s just going to fuck me like I’m an object and be under his charming douchey spell, thinking that he’s all mine. I already did it once and if I did it twice, I think it would kill me. I’m sorry if I led you on or whatever by sucking your dick and making you think that we were going to fuck… and as much as my body wants to, I know it would be smart for me.”
Despite the seriousness of your words and confession, Mark found himself chuckling at the end of your monologue. He’s laughing at your word choice of “sorry if I led you on or whatever by sucking your dick,” but you don’t think about it that way. You think he’s laughing at all of it.
Typical frat guy, you think.
When he noticed the way, your mouth turned into a frown, he feels his heart leap out of his chest. He didn’t want to see you upset… ever. If he could just take some time to talk out how he was feeling to you, then maybe you’d understand how he was – “Goodnight Mark. I’d ask you not to tell you friends about this, but I know you will.”
And just like that you’re gone.
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Two weeks and there had been no words exchanged between you and Mark. He had tried countless times to get your attention and talk to you, but you acted as if he didn’t exist. It didn’t go unnoticed by the other people in the house. Bambam prided himself on picking up on sexual tension and when he saw the way you and Mark acted around each other on that day on the porch, he felt it. Sure, the two of you hadn’t said anything, but Bambam could feel the pull between the two of you.
Although previously you didn’t talk to Mark that often in general, Bambam could sense something had happened – something wasn’t right between the two of you. It made him upset to see his brother so down, so… emotional.
“Guys… We have to do something about this Mark and Y/n situation,” Bambam said as he watched Jaebeom and Youngjae practice their beer pong aim in the backyard.
Youngjae looked at him confused, “what do you mean Mark and Y/n situation? There’s something going on there?”
Bambam felt like he wanted to hit him. How Youngjae could be so clueless? He wasn’t sure. “Do you not understand basic human emotions?” The older boy blinked at him mindlessly, before going back to throw the ball at the cups on the other side of the table.
“So anyways… I was thinking we could-”
“That was two! That was two! It totally hit the side of the other cup before it went in!” Youngjae yelled, interrupting Bambam’s big idea.
“Are you kidding? No way. Just take the one or I won’t even give you that,” Jaebeom rolled his eyes, he had enough of Youngjae’s cheating.
“What do you mean you won’t even give me that one? It went in!”
“Guys!” Bambam yelled, interrupting their bickering over the trivial game. They both looked at him with wide eyes, “Can you listen to me? I have a plan.”
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Yawning, you decided it was probably time to head in for the night. It had been another long week of trying not to think about Mark.
You barely knew anything about the guy… but for some reason you had this weird pull to him. Deep inside your stomach you had this feeling telling you that this was the guy for you, he could be the one. You pushed it all down, your mind was just playing tricks on you – you were delusional thinking he could be the one.
Heading down the hallway to the bathroom – yes, the same bathroom – to brush your teeth you spot Youngjae coming down the corner. You tried your best to avoid his gaze, it was better safe than sorry to just proceed by ignoring Mark’s friends too.
Out of the corner of your eye as you pass one another, you notice the strange way he stares at you. It’s almost in a diabolical way… but that wouldn’t make sense, right?
Weird.
You’re probably on your sixth yawn when you finally head back to your room, reaching the door and going to turn the handle. Except… the handle won’t turn and your door won’t open.
No, this can’t be happening right now…
Trying again a few more times, you realize it had somehow locked on you. And you… like the idiot you are, left the key inside when you went to the bathroom. Was God playing some kind of sick joke on you? How were you supposed to go to sleep tonight?
That’s when it dawned on you that there was only one option.
The President has a master key to all the rooms
Jaebeom’s words flashed in your head over and over again. You tried to think of something else that could get you back in your room and under your warm covers tonight, but you come up short. You had to go up to Mark’s room.
Slowly going up the stairs to the third floor, you find yourself on the borderline of passing out at how completely nauseous and lightheaded you feel. The only way you could truly make this out alive was if you just pretended to be confident.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
The door swung open immediately after the third knock, Mark looking surprised to see you at his door.
He felt his hands grow clammy, “Uh… What’s up?”
“I-I locked myself out of my room… And I heard the President as the master key so… here I am.” Mark felt his heart fall at the reason for your visit. Some stupid part of him had thought that maybe you were here for him and not a key to your room, “yeah… just give me a minute.”
Mark stepped inside and you reluctantly follow him, letting the door shut behind you with a bang. Both of you jump at the noise and softly laugh when you notice.
“I get scared easily,” you mumbled.
Mark snorted, “I can tell.”
Crossing your arms, you moved towards him, “What’s that supposed to me?”
“What do you think? That you’re too scared to explore anything you have with someone, because you got hurt once. Tough, Y/n but getting hurt and let down is a part of life,” he looked at you once as he fumbled through his drawer, looking for the key.
“It’s not just that I’ve been hurt. You’re a-” He cut you off, rolling his eyes done with your overdone argument, “I’m a frat guy, I get it. We’re all the same, blah blah blah. Save it for your dissertation on how I’m scum for your Psych class or whatever.”
“I don’t think you’re scum,” you said softly.
Mark shut the drawer, unable to locate the key in this part of his desk and turned to you, “then why do you hate me so much?”
You shuffled in place, unsure of what do with all of these pent-up feelings that not even you were sure how to describe – and you were the one feeling them. “I don’t hate you. In fact, that’s the problem… I like you so much, I’m so attracted to you and I barely know you! I’ve had so many dreams about you that it’s made it all even worse.”
Before you could stop him, you felt Mark’s lips on yours and you find yourself being suffocated again – sidetracked from your original intentions of forgetting him. However, the way his mouth moved against yours and the way his tongue slipped past the crease of your lips made you not care. But of course, he was a good kisser, he probably did this all the time to all the girls.
You felt his fingers grip the hem of your top. He bunched the material just below your breasts as his hands splayed across your ribcage. He allowed you to pull away, your chest heaving and your eyes closed, before he tugged the material of your top up and over your head. The two of you looked at each other, as if absorbing what the two of you were doing.
When he dropped the fabric onto the floor, he moved his mouth to your neck. He can’t help himself as he marked your collarbones with his teeth, every inch of you is practically covered with marks when he’s done. While your mind is caught up in the feeling of his lips on your neck, his hands moved to cup your breasts.
He made you feel so damn good, you didn’t care anymore.
“Mark,” you breathed as you shifted your head to give him better access, “d-do whatever you want. Fuck me however you want. Just do something.” 
You could feel the vibrations of Mark’s laughter against your neck as he reached around your back to unsnap your bra before he pulled away to watch the material fall to the floor. His eyes glued to your chest for a moment, his pupils darkening with lust, before he returned his lips to yours in a heated kiss. 
Your hands dipped beneath the fabric of his t-shirt. You allowed your hands a moment to roam, before you break the kiss and tugged the material of his shirt up and over his head. Once again you feel hypnotized by his chest, just as you had been the first night you met him. You wanted to trace your finger over every muscle, every vain and every inch of skin. Mark helped you out of your pajama pants and returned his lips to your neck. 
“As much as I would love to do fuck you until you feel me in every single part of your body, I want to take my time. To show you just how beautiful you are, just how much I want you.” 
In your sex induced brain you have a moment of clarity to consider his words. Take his time? Weren’t frat boys supposed to be rushed, quick and just be rough with you? You had not a doubt in your mind that Mark would be able to deliver on that, based on how he had first acted around you… but slow? Sensual? Was he even capable of that? You weren’t expecting him to be so… soft and delicate. It wasn’t a part of his brand. 
This time when Mark brings his lips back to you, they’re much softer – he kissed you at an unhurried pace as if he had all the time in the world with you. He gently nudged you to lay on your back, your fingers going to tangle themselves in his fluffy hair. He brings his fingers to curl at the waistband of your panties, “is this okay?” he breathed against your lips. You feel yourself begin to grow more wet at his ask for consent. 
“Yeah,” you mumbled, your eyes closed and your hands tugging at his hair, “more than okay.” 
With your permission, Mark slipped his hand into your panties. Brushing your folds lazily, his fingers gentle and unhurried as he allowed you to pull away and catch your breath. When he brushes your clit and felt yourself jolt in surprise beneath him. He attached his lips to your neck and began pressing kisses along the column of your throat. 
No words are spoken as you moved one hand from his hair and gently squeezed his hardening cock over his sweats. Mark moaned against your skin and moved his fingers a little quicker but not changing his lazy pace as he worked to rile you up. It doesn’t take long as he slipped a finger into your heat and hears you release a content sigh at the feeling. 
“You’re so gorgeous usually,” he whispered against the column of your throat as one of his hands go up to pay attention to your breasts, kneading them gently. “But, fuck, you’re even better naked.” 
At that you laughed, “You’re not so bad yourself Mr. President, you know for a frat guy and all.” He smiled at you, capturing your lips in another kiss, nudging his sweatpants and briefs down. 
The continual strokes of his fingers, working you open along with his hand on your breast makes you feel dizzy. You attempt to focus your attention elsewhere, pressing kisses to his heated skin as he rubbed your clit with his thumb. 
You could feel Mark shifting above you, reaching for the stash of condoms next to his bed, before he ripped open the foil packet and pulled away to roll the latex onto his length. His slowness practically drove you to insanity, you just wanted him inside of you now. 
“Mark please, I want it.” 
Smiling at you, he leaned forward to press a kiss on your forehead, “princess you’re going to get it all.” 
Mark returned his lips to yours as he sank into you. His pace is slow, lazy and soft, as he began fucking into you. You had always thought that slow and sensual sex was the best kind of sex, but maybe you were wrong. With Mark it felt like your whole body was on fire – it was pure torture. The way he jutted his hips into you at a rhythm had your core aching for more. It was like all of your senses were heightened, everything felt so much more pleasureful with the way your body was hanging on every thrust. 
He buried his face into the crook of your neck and groaned as he felt you tug at his hair again. You felt like you were going to go insane and you needed something to grab onto. For you, Mark was willing to do or be whatever you wanted – something he had never remotely thought of doing for anyone ever, including the guys in the fraternity. He was ready to be at your beck and call, to take you like this – making you feel every single stroke, every single time pump into you. 
Mark brings his hand between the two of you back to your core and circled your clit once again, allowing you to fall over the edge. “I know you’re going to look so pretty when you cum, please cum for me. I’ve been thinking about it since that night in the shower.” 
His mention of the shower brings you back to thinking about how good it felt to have him in your mouth, how good he tasted when he came on your tongue, how much you’d like to be on your knees for him again. These final thoughts have you clenching around Mark, his groaning getting more consistent telling you that he’s close. He nipped at your skin and sucked the spot under your jaw at the same time he thrusted himself at a semi-faster pace, hitting your g-spot. That finally makes every part of your body go numb, and you feel your hips buck forward involuntarily, everything in you spasming. 
As he watched your strong release and felt your walls throb around him, Mark began falling over the edge himself. You felt his hips stutter, his breathing shallow, and his hand clenched your hip firmly as he spilled into the condom and you found yourself wanting the moment to last forever as he remained on top of you. You feel him everywhere, warm and solid and entirely him. He pressed a kiss to your lips, another lazy peck, before he pulled away to tie the condom, tossing it somewhere on the ground of his messy room. 
“Are you really just going to throw that on the ground?” you laughed. Mark shrugged, “what if you forget about it later?” 
He smiled, wrapping his arms around your naked body and brings you as close to him as he can, “nah there’s no way I would forget this.”
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Two Months Later
It was hard to believe that summer was finally ending and the new school year was right around the corner. No longer would be stuck in what you once considered was your own personal Hell – the Lambda Chi Alpha house. 
The personal Hell had somehow shaped itself into one of the biggest blessings of your life. It had given you Mark Tuan. 
“Finally, you’re home!” Mark smiled, patting the open spot next to him on the love seat at your return from work. 
As soon as you plopped down, Mark pulled you close to him, resting one arm around your shoulder and the other on your thigh, “want the aux cord?” he mumbled into your shoulder, nuzzling the side of his head against it. 
“No! She always gets aux cord when she’s porchin’ it up with us! It’s not fair! She plays that weird K-pop stuff and makes us the laughing stock of the whole street!” Jaebeom whined. 
You laughed, “Don’t knock it until you try it!” 
“I have tried it and I hate it,” Jaebeom quipped back, crossing his arms to show his firm disagreement on the matter. 
“Fine let’s do One Direction this time.” 
“Like that’s any better!” 
“Can you guys shut up I’m trying to think of something to say to that girl,” Youngjae grumbled in annoyance at your bickering with Jaebeom. 
You looked to see a girl walking by the house. Judging on her large backpack, casual clothes and tired face she had been at the library. You doubt she would be up for any unwarranted cat calling. “Don’t say anything!” 
Youngjae looked at you confused, “what… I’m trying to shoot my shot.” 
“As a girl, please trust me when I say don’t.” Youngjae pursed his lips in thought, “not even if I just tell her she has a nice smile?” You look at the girl frowning, “she’s not smiling and no not even that.” 
“Get a load of this guy,” Bambam said as a guy in Phi Kappa Tau letters walks by – most likely to his house. Judging on all of the times you’ve spent on the porch with the boys now, you knew what was coming. Standing up, he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “PHI KAPPA TAU SUCKS.” The guy turned to the porch, eyeing Bambam and flipped him off. 
Sitting down, Bambam shakes his head, “it’s because he knows it’s true.” 
“Will you ever listen to me and realize that it’s stupid to shout at another frat?” you asked. 
Bambam shook his head firmly, “you can’t just get rid of tradition Y/n.” 
Mark firmly nuzzled his head into your shoulder again, kissing the side of your neck, “pay attention to me.” A clingy boyfriend might be annoying to some people and at one point in time you also thought that way, but with Mark you couldn’t get enough of it. The way that he was so dominant and attentive in the bedroom, but then so needy and clingy when it came to being in public. Especially when you were with the other guys.
“Anything for my number one frat star,” you cooed, pinching his cheek.
“You know I hate it when you call me that!” Mark whined, “you pay more attention to the guys then you do to me.” As he pouted you leaned in to give him a peck, but instead he brings the hand resting on your thigh up to cup your cheek, deepening the kiss. Youngjae, Jaebeom and Bambam all groan.
“Y/n?” Your name being called breaks you out your bubble with Mark. The bubble that made you feel like you two were the only people in the world that existed. Pulling apart from his lips, you both turned to see who the culprit is that ruined your moment.
“What the hell are you doing at Lambda?” Ryan asked. It doesn’t hurt to see him again; it was just annoying.
“Back from your lake house I take it Sigma Chi?” Mark asked. You had told Mark everything about what went down with you and Ryan – and if looks could kill… Ryan would already be in his grave.
“I’m not talking to you,” Ryan rolled his eyes, “what the hell are you doing at Lambda?” He asked again.
Without thinking about it, you find yourself standing up and cupping your hands around your mouth just as Bambam had done earlier, “SIGMA CHI SUCKS!”
Ryan couldn’t believe his eyes, he stood there blankly on the sidewalk in front of the house, “what? Very funny Y/n… I know you don’t mean-”
You do it again, “SIGMA CHI SUCKS!” The boys on the porch with you begin to laugh.
Ryan pointed a finger towards you, waving it in the air, “now just wait a minute-”
“SIGMA CHI SUCKS!”
Your ex-boyfriend clenched his jaw, “You weren’t even a good fuck anyways!” The words should hurt you, but they don’t because you know it’s not true.
“Uh… Yeah she fucking is,” Mark retorted, standing up next to you, “why don’t you go home Sigma Chi?” And just like that, you and the guys on the porch have your second middle finger of the day – this time from your ex-boyfriend.
As he walked off in the direction of the Sigma Chi house you all laughed at how blatantly offended, he was at just the fact that you had said his frat sucked. It was middle school taunting, but of course it would work on someone like Ryan. Ryan was a special breed of asshole and it makes you feel stupid to think that you had once grouped Mark with him. All of the Lambda boys.
Mark kisses your shoulder, “what are you thinking about?” His smile melted you – it always does. He was one you had been waiting for and somehow your body and subconscious knew it before you did.
“Just how happy I am to have you by my side Mr. President.”
“I’m happy to have you by my side too,” Mark hummed, but soon he pauses, “unless it’s during beer pong… because you really suck.”
“Mark!”
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tenderlyrenjun · 4 years ago
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[2:05 A.M.]
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You drag your feet into your bedroom and dramatically fall face-first on the mattress, mumbling something incoherent, even with the super hearing, through the blankets. Renjun closes the textbook over his lap, sitting up in anticipation for you to make an announcement. He waits another minute then reaches across the blankets to pull back your hair, checking to see that you are still alive. After he sees your blank stare (okay, crazy person), he reclines against the headboard, asking you to repeat yourself.
“We have to send Jaemin another letter.”
“Ah.” Renjun puts the contemporary art textbook on the night stand, freeing up his hand to thread his fingers in your hair. He outlines your ear brushing away a few strands to see your cheeks and moves on to the heaven’s pillar behind your neck, dipping two fingers in the pressure point. You jerk forward a little, unexpectedly relaxed by a treasure. Renjun thinks that you try getting into a better position and helps you lean on his shoulder. You kiss above his clavicle, wrapping an arm around it also, loosely hanging on him like a body pillow. “It’s late. Why are you studying at this hour?”
You know that he is talking about the family’s most recent addition, not the upcoming o chem exam that you are more than prepared for. Unfortunately, he has not been available in the last month to help train new members, with all the work he has for school, the internship, and Jaemin’s new stupid coven leaders rule that requires Renjun to be chained to a zoom meeting twice a day.
“The new recruit -”
“Aurora?” Renjun asks. His hand slides to your lower back, pushing you into his side, and he takes your leg, draping it across his waist. It is not your cycle to sleep yet, but the position brings a great sense of ease to your subconscious.
“Yeah,” you nod, verifying. You open your eyes slowly, tracing his pretty jawline as he takes a turn to close his eyes, almost equally exhausted. His arm raises behind his neck, acting as another pillow to slouch against. It feels like years since you two have been able to relax, despite having just went on a weekend vacation a few months before. You sigh one last time, melting into his collar during your exhale. “She’s only been a vampire for about a decade, and there’s so much to go over.”
“Any special abilities?”
Renjun leans over, manipulating your situations in a way that keeps him as the big spoon, an arm wrapped under your chin and the other supporting under your head. It feels even more comfortable. You shimmy toward his waist, hugging him even tighter.
“No,” you answer, shaking your face in his chest. Sometimes you wish his heart would be a little bit louder, because when it is this low, you know he will have to feed again, meaning that he needs to get up and you would be without a body pillow. It is the equivalent to a stomach growl. Although, his actual growls are pleasant in your ears. Still, you give in, slacking your grip enough, knowing that you likely need to drink something as well. Drinking in bed is something that he prohibited, after you ruined an 18th century duvet, but these informal meetings function like pillow talk, considering that the rather large water fountain by your window blurs out the conversation to outsiders. “She has excellent people skills, and she is very charming, but other than that, no.”
Renjun sighs. “We need to recruit new members with special abilities.”
You turn over, looking at the sparkles across his pretty cheeks, and tuck his hair behind his ears (it is not blocking his face, but the gesture is meant to be a tender display of affection, something to show that you love him). His strands start to neatly frame his forehead again, then you tangle your fingers in the ends. You reiterate his sigh, shoulders dropping with your hands. 
“I know,” you tell him, fatigued by the politics and tensions. “I know, but I also don’t want to participate in another war.”
Renjun kisses the corner of your mouth, leaving his lips there too, to whisper cautiously, “It can’t just be Mark all the time. He needs a break eventually.”
“No, I know,” you lament again before repeating, “but I don’t want to participate in another war. I won’t be able to handle another loss like that.” The last war saw the complete annihilation of your coven, in terms of death and abandonment. Those who posed the greatest threat were slain without reservations, and neither of you ever heard from those who went off to fight after they left, so you assumed they either perished or took on an alias. No one won that last war, and everyone who fought assumed new identities hide the fact that they participated in the political upheaval. “And I don’t want to be like Doyoung’s elitist cult either.” The Kim Clan exclusively watched and turned noblemen for a few centuries in the late 13th century. They became the fourth largest coven, even to this day, with 29 people. “He keeps trying to absorb us; he wants you for his inner circle.” You bury your face in his chest again, trying to find comfort as his heartbeat slows and the breath leaves his lungs. “Everyone keeps watching over kids and mortals, waiting to turn them if they haven’t already, just for their potential abilities.”
“We’re all trying to protect ourselves,” Renjun reasons, combing the crown of your head. “We need to be able to defend ourselves, defend our people. We have nine members in their rooms right now, not accounting for the protection detail around the manor.” He sits up, pulling you with him, then he shakes you off his shoulder, awake. “Come on, let’s go to the kitchen and get something to drink.”
You fall back on him, hanging across his torso like asking for a small request.
“No,” he disagrees, dragging you off the comforter. “You’re not going to ruin another blanket. Come on, let’s get some blood and then we can finish talking about this tomorrow, when you’re not so exhausted.”
“Fine,” you cave, feeling slightly more enamored with him, a side effect of his special ability. 
You slip off the duvet and accept his hand, trailing behind him through the corridor to the kitchen down the hall. He sets a teapot on the stove, straining a fresh pouch of AB positive over a few teaspoons of water, while you sit at the island, taking out two mugs from the cabinet below. You settle them across from Renjun and assume a seat opposite him, knowing that he will eventually lean over the top instead of sitting with you. When Renjun finishes his small tea ceremony, you stare at him.
“Is my presence enjoyable?” he joke while stirring a few sugar cubes. You nod once, slightly timid as he slides a cup to you, the ceramic squealing across the granite. “Well, then we will have to keep meeting like this.”
You roll your eyes, hiding a smile behind your nutrition. “Over talks about leading our coven?”
Renjun glares at you. “Stop using that word,” he growls. “It’s so ... cringey.” He shakes his head, “No, but I miss having these meetings with you and feeding with you.” 
You sigh too, knowing what he means. The only time you even share a bed now is to sleep; your room is, otherwise, empty, for the most part. He is either studying, out of town, or in a meeting from time that the sun sets until it rises. And you are either training the new member, studying, or running one of your businesses, from the time the run rises until it sets. The moments when neither of you work are when you take time to relax a little bit, reset your minds from the 12-16 hour schedules. It gets hard, not seeing him, even if he is around the corner.
“I miss you, too,” you confess. You hesitate for a second, tapping the your nails into the ceramic teacup briefly. Renjun lowers his own mug, raising his eyebrow in a silent question, so you sigh .. again. “Do you regret signing up for college now?”
“No,” he answers near immediately, making you sit up straighter, at attention. Renjun groans. That is not entirely what he means. “I like going to college. I know it’s,” he hums, rolling his eyes and sucking in his lips jokingly (to which you roll your eyes, sarcastically), “trying, to you, but I really like it.” He walks around the island, hugging your waist from behind. “And I like that you’re doing it with me. Do I wish that we’re not the brink of war, or whatever the tensions are rising to, that keep making other clans enlist new members? Yeah, definitely, it puts a little dent in our 10-year plan, but I don’t regret this experience. I only wish to see it through.” Renjun rests his chin on your shoulder, not daring to meet your eye just yet, slightly scared of your reaction. You already were not on board with this decision (thankfully, he did not have to use his compulsion for this request, not that he would - you have free will either way, but you chose him in the end and he appreciates that). “Do you regret any of it?”
You place your hands over his, trailing your thumb across his knuckles comfortingly. He thinks, for a second, that you might answer yet, but you surprise him: “No,” you say honestly, “I don’t regret any decision that I’ve made with you.”
“Not even the time I convinced you to replace Ten’s entire blood collection with mentos in coke bottles?”
You smack his hands, then return to stroking them, alleviating any potential pain. “Do you have any regrets then?”
“Just the one,” he recalls bitterly. Renjun kisses your shoulder as another apology. Even a millennium later, he cannot believe that you forgave him, so he never forgets to show you that it was not the wrong decision to let him back into your life. “I love you.”
You spin around fully. “I love you too.”
“Wanna show me?”
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chimswae · 4 years ago
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BTS Caretaker CH40
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Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?
- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)
- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au
- Word Count: 3,998
- Author Note: Hello hello, so i made an update on time this time around *proud* hahaha so thank you for those who reads whether u new or old or u just catch up on it again, im really thankful ;) and we love yoonkook and SIN <3
Previous | Next
Chapter 40
“About Yoongi hyung…” “I read the article. Both of them” muttered Seul as she took a seat on the cold bench. Realizing the distant in her voice, Jungkook knew she was affected by the news despite trying to hide her disappointment towards it.
Jungkook expelled a long sigh and kneeled in front of Seul interlacing her cold fingers in his. She stared at him blankly looking empty and lost, “Don’t trust what you read. Hyung is not what they said in those articles. Listen to him, only him” she recoiled, giving his hand a soft squish.
“Where is Yoongi?” her heart was heavy to even say his name out loud as though something trying to cut the strings that she had with him.
“In his studio, I haven’t seen him since lunch, but we will be having a meeting with Bang PD in an hour. Come with me please? Yoongi hyung needs you by his side” Jungkook said sweetly, persuading Seul which confused her.
“Jungkook..why are you here?” instead of responding to the initial question, it came to her realization that Jungkook’s presence was not merely due to the unexpected articles released today.
His lips broke into his usual cute smile lighten up the whole universe “To pick up my favourite girl for my favourite hyung” her bewildered gaze searching his face to see any sign of joke. “Jungkook-ah..I don’t understand” Jungkook held her hands tighter as her gaze followed the younger guy whom took a seat beside her.
“Nuna...” she froze. Her ears seemed to make a fool of her when Seul thought she heard it wrong. Jungkook was really calling her nuna, which gave her a major goosebumps.  “You should know this because I will not be able to say it again. I really..really love you. And you are a bad woman for making me fall head over heels for you when you only have your eyes on Yoongi hyung” his faint voice pained her heart.
“I will cherish every moment that we had together deeply in my heart..”
“Jungkook-ie..I..am-“ “Don’t be sorry, it makes me feel awful” he chuckled bitterly. Jungkook enveloped his arms around her shoulder, pulling the girl into a tight embrace. “Thank you for giving me a chance to feel the real love. I want you to know, that I never regret it. This feeling is wonderful, you make me feel good and oddly bad sometimes. I want to keep you close to my heart as a friend. Good friend. Letting go my feeling doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be. Us, it is impossible” he finally set a clear line between them. A friend.
Seul was losing her words, and she tried hard not to stammer in between “Ho..w did you find out?”
He shook his head as a small chuckle escaped from his lips “I am a man, nuna. I told you many times before. Trust me when I said a man can read another man’s mind because that is our forte” Seul pursed her lips in confusion.
“I can see it through your eyes, you care for me, but you love hyung. Well, I can say that you’re almost swooned by my action however you couldn’t hide your true feelings. Don’t you realize that?” he continued “That you love Yoongi hyung?”
Did she?
“But- how are you so sure when I am still confused of myself”
“Conform with yourself. Ask your heart, who is inside? Whether it is me or Yoongi hyung…or is it Jin hyung” she gawked in sheer fear. Did he just read her mind? How was it possible for him to bring up Jin in this situation?
He smirked “Surprised? Jin hyung may not know this, but I caught him talking to you one day. So I conclude that, hyung has feelings for you”
“Impossible. He never arises this issue”
“Of course, he won’t, Kim Seokjin that I know always put others above his own happiness. That includes his feelings for you. I thought if hyung can do that, then why not me? Jin hyung is a man with big heart, as soon as he realized our feelings for you, he backed away without uttering any words. His perseverance is something that I admired” again his words hit her hard making her ten times guiltier than before.
If Jin has feelings for her, why didn’t she notice the obvious? Get a grip Ji Seul, you need stop toying innocent’s hearts.
“I am a bad person for playing with your heart. You guys didn’t deserve this”
“Then make up your mind, it has always been Yoongi hyung and you know it” he stroked the strand of her hair from covering her face. “We will be happy if you could make hyung happy” his heart felt lighter now that he had talked to Seul, Jungkook was no longer living under the shadows.
Seul smiled meekly “Can we stay as friend? I don’t want to lose you or anyone. This decision that I am about to make, I am afraid if it cost me to lose this precious friendship” her voice was low and desperate. The only reason why she hadn’t come up with any decision to end this confusion was her fear of losing the boys. She didn’t to take a wrong step and ruined everything that they had.
Falling in love is subjective. You can’t really tell when it begins or how to stop it. It is not like she invited these boys to love her more than just a friend, the feelings develop over time and it is something that you can’t stop even if you wish to.
“Yah, of course we are still friends. I am keeping my words to keep you safe even you’re with Yoongi hyung” he tapped the tip of her nose with a small chuckle.
“Don’t you hate me? After what I did?”
“And what exactly did you do for me to despise you? Seul, I am serious about giving up for Yoongi hyung. Do not overthink because I won’t let you” she scrunched her nose, tilting her head at his direction.
She teased, “So it is Seul now? Where is the nuna?” Jungkook cringed hard at the thought of living his life calling her with honorific.
“You are so not making me call you nuna because that sounds cringey” they chuckled at their own silliness, it took over the awkwardness that she felt earlier at least.
“Are you coming with me to the company?”
“Can I not come? I mean- Jungkook in all honesty I trust Yoongi but I need some time alone to get my head together. I promise to check on him tomorrow. Plus, I don’t think my presence there will be helpful. You guys already have enough problems to face, it is better for me to not be there” she chewed her lower lips afraid that Jungkook might misunderstand her request.
The latter nodded in understanding, “You are right. Let us talk to Bang PD first and see the seriousness of this issue. I will let you know how it goes” he smiled.
“Thank you. Please look after Yoongi, he is..you know what I mean” her confidence deflated as the memories of Suga’s struggle resurfaced. She could hold it for a night, just few hours. Seul would meet him the first thing in the morning.
“We will keep our eyes on hyung. Don’t worry. Do you want me to walk you home?”
She shook her head “No thank you. I can take cabs. Just go, you don’t want to miss the important meeting and get in trouble” Seul reached out to stroke his bangs and smiled genuinely. Jungkook pulled the girl into a final hug before bidding his farewell, heading straight to the headquarter in hurry.
 ------------------
The talk with Bang PD and the rest of the team went for hours. They had come up with a solution after hearing Yoongi’s side of story. The false accusation made by the irresponsible individual will be addressed officially in court considering this matter jeopardized both BTS and Yoongi image. Big Hit had zero tolerance pertaining to this issue and would file a lawsuit against the individual who started this rumour.
For the time being any solo and group activities involving Yoongi would be put at halt to give him a space to breathe from medias. The only activities that he would take part in the future was BTS upcoming activities in America followed by their American Music Awards performance in a month. Big Hit had replaced Yoongi with other members to fulfil the request from reality shows that already being scheduled for him few months ago.
Entering Suga’s Genius Lab stealthily was Jin, the dark room was ignited by a small table lamp at the corner causing Jin to wonder if Yoongi was already asleep. Ever since the article made it to public yesterday, Yoongi didn’t talk much worrying the eldest guy.
“Yoong, are you asleep?” he sat on his favourite swivel chair facing Yoongi’s small body on the couch.
His soft hummed could be heard clearly, as the distressed guy sat up expelling a deep sigh. “Are you okay?” concerned Jin made sure to scrutinize his serious expression.
“Is this about Seul?”
“Why are you bringing her up?” he snapped.
Jin smug in victory “So, this is about Seul. Are you worried that she might misunderstand this and decide to leave you? And choose Jungkook-ie?” Yoongi rubbed his back hair in frustration.
“She is a big girl, I don’t care who she chose. In the end, I will never win over Jungkook” his heart stung by his own words though he really hoped to see Seul tonight. It was impossible, no one would want to stay with an unfaithful guy like him. In the eyes of public, he is just a mere pest who toyed with girls’ heart.
“You must talk to her before making your own judgement” he eyed the younger guy, crossing his arms in disapproval.
Yoongi clucked his tongue irritably “A call from her would suffice but not even a single text, I know this is not going to work. Seul-“ “Seul is not calling you not because she is giving up on you. You should have known her better, she is a complicated young lady but she would never leave you hanging without answers” Jin rose his brows in amusement.
“Aren’t you happy? That this is happening to me now you have chance to be with Seul” his brows were pinched together, mentally cursing this ill fate of his.
Jin pressed his lips firmly, and looked at him wide-eyed, questioningly. “You think I will be that shallow? Yes, I like Seul. Do you have problem with that? But I have set a fine line between me and her. She is off limit because she likes you” he shook his head.
“She is free to like anyone. She could be yours, or Jungkook’s, don’t lose hope” Yoongi responded sarcastically earning a dissatisfied growl from the older guy.
“Her feeling is not something you can toss around like your damn basketball game, I know you are salty because she is not here with you. Trust me, I have no intention to pursue her. I know who is in her heart. Unlike a foolish guy like you, speak as if you have no brain” he threw daggers at his way.
“Are you trying to pick a fight? Because I am not in the mood hyung”
“Right, you are not in the mood for everything. Your heart is consumed with jealousy. Min Yoongi, tell me one more time that you don’t care about her because I won’t hesitate to give her a call and ask her out for a date” he challenged the grumpy guy with confidence knowing how it would affect him. Yoongi was too deep in love to back down now, he was just being a brat. Literally complaining about the unfair treatment that he received from his dear dream girl.
Yoongi scowled “Don’t you dare! She is off limit!”
“Then prove to me that she is off limit and you will take good care of her, think like a sane man with class, seriously. Min Yoongi stop being a brat, I know you love her and you do realize that I still can win her heart if I want to. That is if you give up” Jin once again provoked Yoongi causing the latter to rake his hair with his hands out of anger.
Regardless, what came from Jin, the rapper really took it seriously as if his life was at the brink of death.
Yoongi said glaring at his hyung “Are you here to help or to provoke me? Can you just leave hyung? I need my peaceful sleep” he leaned back letting a soft huff. A mouth fight with Jin never ended up well since he would lose most of the time. It was the truth, only Kim Seokjin could tame Min Yoongi.
Jin switched his seat and within a second, he was sitting beside Yoongi, smiling bashfully. “Can you promise me that you will look after Seul?” bewildered, a visible line was evident on his forehead trying to digest Jin’s request.
“You are acting odd. Stop scaring me”
“Min Suga, I am not asking you as a BTS Jin, but as your brother, good friend and your roommate, Kim Seokjin. I care for Seul, and I want to see her happy. I know you can put that beautiful smile on her face. Her smile is the brightest when you are around…” a smile found its way to his lips, washing away his sadness for not be able to win Seul’s heart.
“It is weird, how are you fine with this? Hyung, you are about to give up a girl that you like for me. Are you really sure about your feelings?”
He nodded and scrunched up his face determinedly “Love doesn’t mean making someone yours, it means being happy in the happiness of the one we love. I love you and Seul-ie, and it wont change. Love her with all your heart Yoong, I believe you can make her happy”
Yoongi took a deep breath, fidgeting with his fingers until he finally said “I can’t believe you are giving me a blessing for this relationship when you are not even Seul’s mother” Jin laughed softly.
“Can’t i? I am still the oldest one in the group” he jabbed his arm playfully. Yoongi blurted out a quick thank you silencing the playful man almost instantly. He heard him continued “Thank you for always believing in me. You will find a woman that loves you as much as you love Seul one day” Yoongi’s gummy smile illuminates the dark room, warming his heart in process.
Being Jin, he would not respond to Yoongi seriousness whenever the guy had put much effort to force it out from his mouth. “One day if I find Seul crying because of you, she will be the woman as you mention in your prayers” he messed around, to make fun of Yoongi.
He snickered as his eyes rolled in annoyance “You wish..”
 ---------------
The following day, Seul came to the company as promised. She told the boys’ head manager about her intention to meet Yoongi especially when she found out from Jin that he stayed out for the night in his studio. He’s going to work his ass off to distract himself from thinking about those news circulated around the internet.  
The counter measure will be taken by the management team. Yoongi insisted to release an apology letter in relation to this rumour especially the claim by Stephanie. Bang PD decided to release an official statement on behalf of Yoongi because the rapper had nothing to explain to the public.
The rumours were false and Yoongi on the other hand owed nothing to anyone. He didn’t do it so why must he feeling guilty over the fake news?
Walking down the empty hall, Seul graceful steps made it to the other wings of the building. Hoseok and Namjoon strode towards her with a wide grin “Good morning. Seul, you came! Are you here for Yoongi hyung?” Namjoon said in his low morning voice.
“Good morning Hobi, Joonie. I am here for Yoongi, is he around?”
Hoseok wiggled his brows unknowingly “He is inside his studio. He didn’t come out since our meeting with Bang PD, maybe you can get him out?” he passed a piece of small pink notes. Blinking in confusion, she scanned the paper of what seems to be a password to Yoongi’s door.
The corner of her lips tugged into an amused smile “You come prepared. Thank you”
“No problem. Good luck” he pumped his fist exaggerating the battle as if she was off for an important combat. Namjoon winked at her way, mouthing her a ‘Hwaiting’ pressuring the lady even more.
 ------------
“160815” she mumbled whilst her fingers pressing the passcode carefully not to make any sound. The door to his studio beeped open excite the latter, and she grew nervous again to meet the man beyond the door.
“Here we go” Seul slid inside with zero noise, as she closed the door behind her awfully slow.
“Stop sneaking around like a thief” his low voice made her jump in her stance. She mentally blamed herself for her own clumsiness, now Yoongi would think weirdly of her. How uncool.
She turned her heels to face the owner of the voice, she frowned deeply digesting the image before her. As though the scene repeated itself, she glanced at the unlit cigarette between his thick fingers. This guy just wouldn’t listen, didn’t he?
“What do you want” he moved one of his free hand to write something on his music sheet. Yoongi didn’t even bother to turn around as he continued to work something on his keyboard when it was obvious his concentration was long gone ever since Seul’s sweet scent took over the strong lemon scented geranium across the room.
“I want you” she said sternly and grabbed the cigarette from his hand, dumping it inside the nearest bin.
“Yah Ji Seul, that cost me 10,000 won!”
“I believe your health costs more than that” Seul ignored Yoongi hard gaze as she went to take something from her pocket. She pulled a strawberry lollipop out and unwrapped the lollipop. Confused by her actions, Yoongi watched how the girl had successfully shoved the sweet candy inside his mouth.
Satisfied with her art, her lips broke into an adorable smile “That is better, from now on keep at least one lollipop with you. Stop smoking” he stared at her bemusedly. Pulling the lollipop out, “Said that you want me again” he jeered playfully.
“In your dreams, I am here to check on you not to flirt. How are you feeling?” she leaned against the wall beside the keyboard unbothered by Yoongi early tease.
Pursing his lips into a small pout, he bit the inside of his cheek. “I couldn’t sleep whole night, so I stayed up and write lyrics” she gasped.
Seul took his cheeks in her tiny hands and started to examine his face as if not sleeping whole night caused a serious injury to his handsome face. Alright maybe the only injury were the hideous eyebags. Yoongi still appeared good even with an obvious eyebags hanging for their life there.
He was enjoying how her fingertips moved along his skin, and he closed his eyes to devour every second of it. “Hmm…Are you done?” Yoongi held back his chuckle, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.
Noticing the playful smile on his face, Seul pinched his nose hard until he swatted her hand not be able to withstand the pain “What is that for?! You mean woman!” he rubbed his red nose in protest.
“So you will stop goofing around. Why didn’t you sleep Yoong?” she looked concerned and hurt by the fact that this man neglected his supposed to be rest time just like that. Seul leaned down to leave a soft kiss at the tip of his nose and their closeness literally took his breath away.
Yoongi took the chance to pull the girl on his lap “Do that again..” he nuzzled his nose against her soft cheeks.
She giggled “I thought you are sulking” “Not anymore, when I have you by my side” he pressed his forehead against her, rubbing their nose together earning a soft giggle from the shy lady.
“Seul-ah, I am sorry about the articles. I swear it wasn’t me, I..have no idea why they are-“ Seul pecked his lips quickly. “I trust my Yoongi. You don’t owe me any explanation or apology” Yoongi tilted his head in bewilderment.
Carefully angling her head to the side, Seul leaned forward stealing a tender, chaste kiss on his lips surprising the man once again.  Seul didn’t pull away literally as she let her lips brushed against his “This is your long-awaited answer” giving him no time to react, their lips locked again this time in a deeper kiss.
They were burned with blazing passion. The kisses were quick and enough to give an obvious hint to the clueless guy. They pulled away breathless.
“Wow, i..didnt expect you to answer me that way”
Seul turned fifty shades redder “I..wanted to show you a different side of me and as a girlfriend, I will stick through thick and thin with you. No matter what happen, I will always be here for you” she assured daringly.
“Girlfriend. I can finally call you my girlfriend?” he stroked her soft hair.
“I love you Min Yoongi” she professed her love earnestly.
Yoongi couldn’t stop grinning like a fool ever since she heard those three magical words came from her. It felt too good to be true. “Say that again” he kissed the corner of her lips, caressing her jaws softly.
“I love you Min Yoongi” her breath hitched feeling the excitement from the simple confessions.
He stole away for a chaste kiss on the lips, “I love you Seul” he murmured against her lips causing her to smile from ear to ear. His voice alone could make her ten times happier than she already is.
“I want you to sleep, stop working” she closed the music sheet, tugging his hand towards the couch. Seul sat him down on the couch, “Lay down and shut your eyes for an hour, please?” he raised one of his brows in amusement.
“Sleep with me?”
“No way, I will watch you sleep instead. So, please baby sleep?” Seul stroked his bangs, trailing her finger ear his eyes.
He looked up meeting her gaze and inhaled a sharp breath “Today is the best day ever. I can hear the I love you and you claimed that I am yours. Now you are calling me baby” he planted a soft kiss on her knuckles, grazing it softly with his thumbs.
Seul softened in his hold “As much as I want to hear your sweet raspy voice, I want you to sleep please baby” she giggled at the nickname, flattering Yoongi’s heart. He positioned himself and laid his head on her lap.
“Watch me sleep, don’t leave” she ran her fingers in his blonde lock, caressing it lovingly. He began to feel drowsy and curled up in fetal position to finally doze off not long after that. Seul smiled inwardly watching how the rapper turned into an adorable kid in his sleep.
She touched his cheek gingerly, admiring Yoongi’s soft feature. Lowering her head, she kissed his eyes gently, just a small, butterfly kiss.
“Sweet dream” Seul leaned back on the couch relaxing and her eyes grew heavy from the weight of sleep that took over her. Settling in to a new chapter in life, she is ready to write the new page with Yoongi.
  This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2021. All Rights Reserved
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gallavictorious · 4 years ago
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11x01 Reaction Post
Random thoughts on and reactions to 11x01; no careful analysis or anything, just the bits and pieces that's not likely to make it into meta proper but which I still want to make note of so I can go back later and remember what my initial reaction to the episode was (since my impressions are likely to change as the season unfolds). Mostly Gallavich related, because duh, but there's disordered rambling on a bit of everything. Under a cut (God I miss LJ sometimes) because this got long.
Ian looks damned good as the homocidal muscle. I don't do AU:s, but if I did... On the other hand, Frank as a member of the Chicago “Eight” looks like a werewolf. Less interested in that AU. And listen, I get that they couldn't get Emmy Rossum for this, but I really miss Fiona showing up in a few random olden day pictures. She's gone, but she's still a Gallagher dammit! Carl at the slaughter house looked weird – and part of me thought that was appropriate because slightly off editing would be a sweet way of communicating that it's all bollocks, but the rest of shots looked okay (Debbie as a milk maid and Frank as the aforementioned werewolf) or good (everything else) so no.
The sound of a baby crying is a horror matched only by persistent lack of sleep so I feel for Lip and Tami so much. Here's to all parents who managed to get through the first year without murdering anybody! I think that maybe you don't get enough credit... I, for instance, want to kill someone just hearing Freddie cry in the background for half a minute. Not sure it bodes too well for their relationship for them to be so ready to spend every night apart like Lip suggests, but a, what wouldn't you do for a good night's sleep, and b, love the thought of Lip spending more time at the old house. Could see them breaking up during the course of the season, though. Not sure how I feel about that – Tami's my favourite out of Lip's love interests, but having too many of the couples staying together all through the finale wouldn't feel quite right (for Shameless) and I don't see them breaking up Ian and Mickey or Kev and V. Don't really expect Sandy or Debbie to last either, but since it's more of a casual thing it might have more of a casual end.
Do you remember when the promo dropped and there was Concern about That Look on Ian's face after he kisses Mickey, and I tag theorized about it being because Mickey stole his coffee? Turns out there wasn't really A Look in the actual episode, but I sure as hell was right about the coffee, and I want noted somewhere. Maybe there should also be a small diploma? A golden statue seems a little over the top, but I mean, if you insist...
I appreciate that Ian is very adament about it being their money but when Mickey thinks it's their breakfast it's suddenly every man for himself. Do you share or not, Ian? Hmm? (Let the record show that I'm joking, please. Ian is damned right to take his toast back, and I say this as a “person most likely to steal their partner's toast right out of their hand”. I also love that Mickey completely gives up on breakfast when he can't have Ian's toast and just grabs a beer instead.) The kitchen scene is glorious and I just really like their dynamic here; the casual kiss, “I only make breakfast for husbands who have jobs”, how relaxed it is even when Ian's a bit annoyed, Mickey being so... Mickey. I do wonder what went through his head when Ian started talking about their wedding present money, though – he seems worried for a moment, but then shrugs it off, and that could be either bravado or just actual lack of concern. I tend mostly towards the latter, since Mickey quite genuinely figures this isn't a big deal (even though he still recognizes that Ian will probably think it one). Please note that he immediately offers to get money when Ian mentions that they need more of it coming in. Not his fault Ian vetoes his methods, right? (Also love that Ian's objection is due to him not wanting to be separated from Mickey, rather than any moral qualms about robbing stores.)
Okay, the gag ball. Would they really keep it like that if they were actually using it? Maybe either of them just tossed it there after taking it off, I suppose... Yeah, I don't know. Not what I'd imagined them being into, but that might be my own extreme lack of enthusiasm for gag balls and harnesses talking. Either they're into it and if so, you do you, boys, or it was a gift and they're keeping it around and semi-prominently on display for shits and giggles. (But if it was a gift, they did try it at least once, right?)
Mickey in the bath remains stupidly and surprisingly gorgerous. Incidentally, I really don't think his question about the meds is any indication of him not thinking them important, but there's little wonder that Ian bristles at the mention of them. Maybe not be an ass just to prove a point, eh, Mick?
I've already talked about how hard Ian is trying here but let's just take another moment to congratulate our boy on his persistent attempts at mature communication. Though he might have given some actual consideration to Mickey not wanting to save the money if he's really serious about them making decisions together... But he gets there! I think this whole situation – which would royally piss most people, including me, off – is actually particularly difficult for Ian, because he might well see Mickey's behavior as uncomfortably reminiscent of Frank and Monica's destructive habits and yeah, that would fuck him up. And still! He forces himself to calm down! He takes Mickey's hand! He refuses to let himself be distracted by Mickey looking SO INSANELY PRETTY I CANNOT EVEN UNDERSTAND IT! Ian, I salute you!
[starwars_eu_nerd_mode]KORRIBAN! YES! HA! TAKE THAT DISNEY! You take your new so-called “canon” and your “Moraband” and you fuck right off. I salute you, Bitcoin Boy![/starwars_eu_nerd_mode]
Ah, the porch scene... This one I do have a bunch of thoughs on that will probably make it into meta proper one day, so I'll leave it for now. It was the one that took the most thinking about for me to square (still not a lot, it should be noted), but now I'm actually very happy about it. (Full disclosure: none of their scenes feel quite right the first time I see them these days, because I'm just so very on edge about what's to come that I kind of miss the forest for all the trees you know? It's not a Shameless thing – it's always like this when I'm extremely invested in something and have waited for it for some time. Will it fit with how I see the characters? Will it be cringey? Will Mickey suddenly profess a love for hideous Hawaii shirts? Also, what are they saying because English is hard... But then I watch them a couple of times and they sink in and I start to get giddy over them. I guess watching actual canon unfold always requires a little bit of re-calibration if you've been busy fanoning while waiting for it to arrive, and while I love that sort of interpretative work, there’s also the fear that the show will veer off into a direction I cannot easily follow.)
Mickey's insistence that he spelled monogamy wrong does genuinely amuse me. Not to mention the whole “No more parking tickets for me!” - “You don't have a car, dumbass.” Also, Mickey being friendly with Carl kills me, in a good way. Family FTW!
Frank's storyline fails to stir even the vaguest hint of interest in me, as per usual. For all his talk of family in this episode, the lack of interaction with any of his kids is striking. If he's to have any value at all this season I'll need him to get involved in the rest of the Gallagher's storylines (which seems like it might be happening at least for a bit later on, so I'm vaguely hopeful?). I find but faint intrigue in Carl's and Debbie's stuff, but it doesn’t annoy me either so I'll call it a win. Kev and V are (almost) always a delight, but do anyone else feel like their kids are only props, even to them? I don't know... I just don't think there's a connection or sense of realness to their relationship, you know? Maybe it's just me... Anyway, here's to hoping V turning pageant mom changes all that! Oh, and I'll need Liam to have some more screentime and stuff to do.
The Tommy and Kermit thing was weird. Eh. Whatever.
Sandy is so gorgerous. I can't. The Milkoviches really be bringing it this episode.
This is only the second season I've watched episode by episode as it airs (other one was S6) and it's a curiuos experience. I think that by and large, and particularly in later seasons, Shameless works better when you binge it, but I love the delightful anticipation of waiting for a new episode and the feverent discussion that follows. Sometimes I also despair over the ferverent discussion that follows, but... you know. It is what it is. Admittedly, any attempts at meta this early in the season is a precarious venture at best, since we don't have the whole story, and it might be wiser to abstain but it's just so much fun, so I'm not very likely to stop.
All in all, I love the Gallavich stuff, am intrigued by Lip & Tami and Kev & V's lives, okay with whatever Debbie and Carl's got going on, hot for Sandy, bored by Frank, and missing Liam. It sets up a lot of promising things, but as an episode all unto itself it felt a bit empty – probably because there were no real plots and the storylines didn't intersect as much as I would have liked them to. Shameless is best when it's about family, which both the show and Frank seems to recognize, but there's little narrative follow-through on that realization in this episode; everyone is pretty much doing their own thing. Adored the Lip and Ian convo, and that house party scene was wonderful, but so short. Think we'll get more of all of them together going forward, though, and more actual plots too, so I'm very excited about it all. Can't wait for Sunday!
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bnha-mha-imagines · 5 years ago
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Helloooooo~headcannons for Bakugo, Todoroki, Kaminari, Sero, and Kirishima with a shy crush and they want to ask them out?
I wasn’t sure if you meant the boys were asking their crush out or if the crush was asking them out, so I just went with the first option. Sorry if I misunderstood! :) I adored this tho
Bakugo
He doesn’t have a crush. Huh? (Y/n)? Definitely not a crush, what. Why would you think he had a crush on them? Because they’re so cute that it pisses him off and he lays in bed at night wondering what it’s like to hold their hand? What? Huh? Sorely mistaken.
No, for real though, this boy is so frustrating because he denies his feelings for you for the longest time. He’s trying to be the number one hero over here so when he meets you and just falls head over heels, he’s hitting every rock and bump on they way down to try and crawl out of that hole. 
The more he fights it, though, the more he’s forced to acknowledge it. He’d try to distance himself from you but it’s just so miserable and hard for him so he’s just always crawling back. But don’t mention that or he’ll get pissy. 
When he’s finally on board with his own emotional rollercoaster he finds it really hard to talk to you. Anytime he starts getting close to asking you out his brain kinda goes into overdrive and he’ll end up shouting or saying something rude. 
It. Breaks. His. Heart.
Because when he raises his voice at you, your lip starts to tremble and your eyes get a little glassy. He feels like shit for doing that to you, instant regret. Hates that he can’t control his mouth when he’s around you.
Because he’s shit at communication you think he hates you tbh. Kirishima gives him the great idea to find a different outlet to confess to you, an idea which...Bakugo hates to admit isn’t half bad. 
So he’ll start to do little things for you. Harps on people if they embarrass you, will make you treats and leave them on your desk before you get to class (totally denies it, fyi), forcefully throws his hoodie to you if you look cold, etc.
It kind of embarrases you to get this sort of attention, though it gets the message across to you that he doesn’t actually hate you. So you start spending more time together and it gives you butterflies :)
This goes on for a while and eventually people catch on that something is going on between you. 
Mina will just gape at you both and be like “How long have you been dating!?!” and Bakugo just wraps an arm over your shoulders and is just deadass like “Two weeks.” And your face is in flames because he never officially asked you out?!?! What?!
You’re not complaining though. 
Todoroki
When he first realizes he likes you, he’s a little at a loss. He’s never asked anyone out before and he wasn’t even sure if you felt the same way.
So like any normal person, he googles it.
He finds a wiki-how on how to know if your crush likes you back, so he sets up his own little experiment.
He tries different things to see how you react. Will look over to you during class to see if you’re staring at him, or he’ll see you in the dorm commons and sit directly next to you even if every other chair is vacant. 
You’re a constant blushing mess during this period of time because all of a sudden the stoic hot-boy you’ve been quietly crushing on is paying way more attention to you than you’re used to. 
You kinda start to wonder if he likes you or not but are too scared to ask. What if you were misreading his actions? How embarrassing would that be!
So you just allow yourself to freeze up and quiet down when he’s around. 
Todoroki comes to two conclusions; either you like him, or you’re scared of him.
At this point, he’s down a wiki-how rabbit hole and its not exactly working out for him. He gets a little frustrated with it and decides to just straight up ask you.
It’s after class one day and he stops you right before you’re about to leave. “Wait for a moment please, I’d like to talk.” 
You’re shook. 
Once the room is empty except for you both he doesn’t waste a moment. “Are you scared of me?” It’s so blunt and serious that it shakes you to the core. You’re instantly panicking.
“W-What?! No, y-you don’t scare me. Why would you…?” You’re embarrassed, half of your brain trying to convince him and the other half trying to look back at what you’ve done that could have made him think that.  
He kinda just watches you get flustered and this tiny smirk goes onto his face, totally making you freeze. “W-What?” 
“So that means you like me, yes?” 
Reader.exe has stopped working. 
Taking your silence as a yes, he’ll take your hand in his and give it a kiss. “Then, would you give me the honor of a date tomorrow night?” 
Kaminari 
This boy will be your doom. 
He thinks it's totally hilarious when your face gets all red and heated so he makes it a game to see how flustered he can make you.
He’s not sure when his gag transforms into flirting; it’s so subtle that he’s a little off-guard when he finally realizes it.
You’d be hanging out with the group and he’ll tease you so that you hide your face in your hands, and he feels all gushy all of a sudden and is so startled by this emotion that he accidentally shocks himself. 
After he realizes he has feelings for you, he is 10x worse, ohmygod. 
He starts shooting you left and right with dumb pick-up lines.
“Are you related to Yoda? ‘Cause Yodalicious.”
Bonus points if he can get it electricity-based.
“‘Ay, (Y/n), how about you leave the blinds open tonight so I can get a pikachu~”
“Are you a light socket? ‘Cause I feel a spark between us~”
“Are you my charger? ‘Cause I’d die without you~”
All of his friends call him cringey. He calls it romantic.
Everytime it brings a blush to your face and he eats it up. It’s just a win-win for him, he gets to be as cheesy as he wants and you’ll always get that cute little look on your face.
It kills you every time though because you definitely have a crush on him, and you still think he’s joking around with you. Eventually it gets really hard for you to deal with and you let him know you’ve had enough. 
“K-Kaminari, please stop.” You’re looking at your hands because you can’t meet his eyes. “I d-dont think I can take this anymore. It hurts when you joke like that when you...you don’t mean them.” 
He’s a little confused at first before his eyes widen and just laughs. Okay, at this point you’re a little hurt and annoyed because dude, you just built up your courage to ask him to stop and he laughs in your face, what the hell. 
But when he finishes laughing, he’ll look at you with those eyes and say, “(Y/n), do you really think those we’re all jokes? I mean, sure, I was trying to be funny but...the sentiment behind them is real. I really like you…” 
Your cheeks will get pink, not expecting him to just confess to you like that...and suddenly you remember everything he had said to you in all seriousness and feel so embarrassed!!!
“Do you still want me to stop?”
“No I...I think I like them now.”
Sero
Sero doesn’t really think he’s anything special, so he’s a little nervous when notices his feelings for you. He doesn’t see how someone as amazing as you would share the same kind of sentiment for a plain guy like him. 
Similar to a lot of his crushes in the past, he’ll try to quietly kill it off. When that doesn’t work, he just takes to secretly pining after you. 
He thinks your shyness is very humble and endearing, so he takes it upon himself to help you with anything you’d need. If you’re ever uncomfortable at a social event, he’ll take you to the side for a breather and carry out a more relaxing conversation.
You really lean on him when it comes to certain vulnerabilities, and you find yourself slowly becoming more open with him.
Sero doesn’t really notice it happening, but regardless is just a constant pillar of encouragement and support. 
Your conversations are gradually getting more intimate and you’re finding yourself more and more comfortable around him. He’s become your best friend, and you couldn’t deny you had feelings for him on top of that.
Eventually it becomes obvious to everyone that you both clearly have a thing for each other, and Sero’s friends are getting frustrated that he hasn’t done anything about it yet.
“Dude, they’re totally interested in you, why are you avoiding it?”
He just kinda shakes his head because...he just doesn’t believe them. He thinks they’re just trying to be nice because they’re his friends. When they can’t get him to confess, they at least get him to put it down in writing for you. 
He starts to write you little love notes and leaves them at your desk.
The first time you got one, you felt so flattered? He watched your face pinken as you read it before class. He had to hide his smile for fear of you realizing who wrote it.
He aint slick.
By now you already knew what his handwriting looked like, so you knew instantly it was he who wrote it.
But you don’t want to embarrass him so you never brought it up to him. So for a few weeks, he'll write you notes every other day, and you get so flustered if anyone asks you what they are. You hide it against your chest and blush...and then put it in a little bag you keep of every single note you’ve received. 
One day Sero walks into class, surprised to see a note on HIS desk.
He opens it and gets so embarrassed because it’s just a list of everything you liked about him and you signed your name with a little heart at the bottom. He’s so happy, he feels all light and bubbly.
During class he passes you a note and asks if you want to go see a movie that night, yes or no.
You get the rest :)
Kirishima
He’s probably the best out of these guys at asking you out, doesn’t really beat around the bush and does all the hard work for you.
By nature he’s really outgoing so even though you’re shy he always made that effort to include you and strike up a conversation. 
You find yourself more comfortable in his company than you are in most others, so you falling for him is a little inevitable. 
Once you realize your feelings for him, it gets a lot harder for you to be as open, and you kind of revert back to a lot of your shy tendencies.
It’s hard for you to hold eye contact for more than a few seconds and you trip over your words.
It confuses the hell out of Kirishima because he thought you were beginning to get comfortable with him? Did he do something wrong? He turns to your other friends to try and see what’s up.
“Mina, is (Y/n) upset with me or something??” 
The girl can’t keep a secret for the life of her, she rats you out so fast. “Huh? No, she just likes you, dude.”
Gets this silly grin on his face, can’t believe the class cutie actually likes him? Boy starts making plans.
He kind of avoids you one day and you begin to worry you made yourself too distant and ended up pushing him away. You were really frustrated with your shyness, feeling it ruined everything for you.
So when Kirishima pulls you aside after class, you get really frightened, thinking he was gonna stop being your friend. But instead, this guy pulls out some flowers from behind his back and your eyes sparkle because the gesture is so sweet.
“I heard from a little bird you liked me,” and he’ll pause just long enough for you to DIE and mentally curse every evil on a certain pink girl. “So I wanted to formally ask you...will you go out with me?” Of course you say yes.
You guys share a hug and you just hide your face in his chest because you’re so overwhelmed with joy and relief and can’t handle it.
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wendell-or-something · 4 years ago
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it is time.
I want to compile a more complete rundown of my thoughts about homestuck 2. I want all the stuff in my head to be in one place, and I know this is going to be incredibly long winded and I don’t care. I want to be honest... I want to understand why I don't like this media. on more than a "but of course" level because there are a lot of people who have it as a gut reaction that this stuff isn't right. but I think there are layers to what produces that. I wanna get in depth with this. so that's what I'm gonna attempt to do.
okay, so, the first thing I think I wanna say is a disclaimer. I have not actually read the epilogues. or homestuck 2. I have a peripheral knowledge of what happens in them because, as a concerned citizen, I poked around enough to pick up details and know that I wouldn't enjoy this media if I fully engaged with it. my assessment of the material may be flawed because of this, but I mean... if the things I've heard about the epilogues deterred me from reading it, then I guess that's what I'm analyzing? not only what I understand based on my limited knowledge, but also why it is so limited to begin with. why this media is such a huge deterrent to so many people who care so much about homestuck. ultimately, this is not to shame people who like this media... I will be addressing common takes I've heard from people who defend the epilogues, but I'm not singling anyone out, and anyone who reads this has a right to disagree, or better yet, ignore me and find enjoyment where you are able, even if I cannot. I will not begrudge you that. additionally, I am considering the epilogues and homestuck 2 to be one unit. not necessarily in terms of structure, but because the events of one lead directly into the events of the other, and the two have similar issues. I think I'll shorthand the combination of the two as EP/HS2 for simplicity, and refer to either individually if I have something specific to say about one or the other.
I think the main problem that people have with EP/HS2 is that it's depressing. and it's depressing for a myriad of different reasons, but I'll get to those in a minute. first I want to establish why them being depressing doesn't work for so many people. I feel like this should be examined first, because a lot of the supporters of EP/HS2 are viewing the complaints against it as over sensitivity from fans who only liked the comic for its lighter elements. I keep seeing a "y'all just wanted your rainbow cotton candy fluff ending" kind of sentiment going around. and like... you are right that this isn't a fluff ending. but I think it's unfair to treat the particular type of content that EP/HS2 brought to the table as the only kind of substantial, fulfilling narrative that we could've asked for.
and I think a lot of the dissonance that people see between homestuck and EP/HS2 is based in the ratio of tension to levity, and how far it's shifted toward pure tension... especially because, at the end of homestuck, all the outside threats to this group of friends have already been resolved. and yet, shit feels leagues more catastrophically bad during the epilogues than it did during the comic when the characters were actually under attack, which is super weird when you think about it. I mean, "epilogues" my ass, am I right? it is true that homestuck was never 100% sunshine and rainbows... in fact, some of the darker events that it brought to the table became some of the most hyped shit in the comic. murderstuck is mostly what I'm thinking of first in terms of this, but there was a lot of popular angst laden content within homestuck that the fans latched onto. the thing is, the fans also latched onto the content that was super goofy, and the fan works that you can still find online from the era of homestuck's initial popularity reflect both sides of its tone in equal measure. there was a huge amount of goofy fan content (octopimp's youtube channel is still a record of that, and that wasn't even the half of it). and there was a huge amount of angsty content, and there was a huge amount of heartfelt content... turns out, homestuck had broad appeal, and spoke to different people in different ways. and back then, I never really felt like the goofy stuff was being treated as any less important than the heavy stuff. it wasn't brushed off just because it was seen as lighthearted. people liked to laugh, and I fully believe that Andrew Hussie began doing homestuck as a fun activity.
the reason why I bring this up is because homestuck as a piece of media could beget all of these various takes. the fan works could be tonally dissonant when held side by side with each other, but when held against the parts of the comic that inspired them, they made perfect sense. homestuck could spawn jokes, and angst, and social commentary, and theories... and even extrapolation on canonical events, in ways both silly and serious. and when you look at the kind of content that the fans produced during homestuck's height, you see what was important to them. they put time and effort into crafting even their dumbest meme shit. the fans reflected what the comic gave to them. and humor and heart were among the most beloved core engagements that the comic provided... these were pillars on which a lot of fan enjoyment rested... you really can't begrudge a person their fun.
and treating darkness and angst as the sole indicator of maturity in a work seems misguided to me. because, speaking personally for a moment here, one of the biggest lessons I had to teach myself when I was growing up was how not to wallow in negative emotions. how to find the fun, sometimes rather aggressively, so that you don't just drown. and with EP/HS2, it feels like at every turn, readers are constantly grasping for something nice or fun to keep them afloat in all this heavy stuff, and either they come to accept mere scraps of positivity, or everything they reach for is eventually dissolved as well. and I think the character of a piece of media as a whole can sometimes tell you what level of maturity it's operating under. like, if the text lingers over making the characters miserable, or seems to revel in shooting holes in people's positive interpretations of these people, you have to kind of wonder if this is serving the narrative, or just producing author schadenfreude when they release what amounts to shock content.
it almost feels like a twisting of the way homestuck used to treat the fans, because during it's run, homestuck was very reactive towards the fanbase. this kind of canon responsiveness to the readers was baked into homestuck from the very beginning, back when Hussie was accepting reader suggestions for what John Egbert should do. and need I remind everyone that the trolls were made as parodies of different types of personalities that were common to find online during homestuck's era? they are internet trolls, who are actually an alien race known as trolls, who communicate primarily online, and whose culture and species developed to produce an ornery and antagonistic population, so like... it's trolls all the way down. that's the whole joke. but the real, valuable benefit of parodying your fans with your characters, is that when the trolls act, they reflect the way real people acted. which means that when, say, Nepeta shoehorns RP lingo into casual conversation, some people will be like "it me!" and some people will laugh/cringe because they've seen people actually talk like that, and some people will be like "aww, that used to be me!" and every time a character produces this sense of identification with the audience, it works to create familiarity, and eventually, a sense of fondness.
that fondness is fucking powerful.
that fondness is born out of recognition and empathy, no matter which character you feel it for, and when a giant community of people loves a character that you have seen yourself reflected in so clearly, that is an incredibly validating experience. especially when you’re young, and the pieces of yourself that you saw were some of the nerdiest, weirdest, most awkward parts of you. a very large community of people loves a character that is like you, even, or perhaps especially, because of the flawed parts. and of course these characters were meant to tease the fans a little... these characters were also jokes to some extent the whole time. but they were never seen as cruel or insulting, because these characters were also important. the story literally built whole worlds around their identities... these kids altered universes. and they were allowed to be that important and special without being perfect first. they were dumb, and awkward, and nerdy, and cringey, and allowed to be there anyway. they were you, and you were important.
and this is where I think that EP/HS2 really misses the point. because in homestuck, the characters experienced hardship, but that hardship went on to fuel an overall sense of accomplishment when it was overcome. the road might be long, and it might be tough, and you might face shit that you don't feel prepared for, but when triumph is achieved, it feels that much more earned. and that is a key phrase I want everyone to remember homestuck for:
triumph.
it's the feeling that cascade gave me. it is the highest of heights that this whole thing reached. and it really has so much to do with how homestuck had built itself up until that point. we were mired in the minutiae of these kids' lives. we read their every chat log. we saw them dicking around doing next to nothing. we saw them contact each other and talk to each other for basically no reason other than to catch up. we saw them sharing stupid memes, and yelling at each other for wasting time on pointless bullshit, and dunking on each other's shitty taste in media... every one of them was "you" at some point. "you captchaloged this" or "you decided to do that" and it made a subtle connection in your brain that convinced you to feel things with them and accept what they "decided" as something that you had done alongside them. in some small way, you did homestuck. and this notion was further supported by how much of what the fans were doing would make its way back into what the comic was doing. the comic and the fans existed in a kind of symbiosis, and that fed into the feeling of connection that the fans had with this particular story. this thing was alive, and it moved in tandem with the community.
so when something big like cascade happened, you were right there with them. you were deep in the center of it. and you wanted to be, because this was your payoff. you did the work with these kids... you put in the time. and the triumph was yours too.
this is why EP/HS2 shouldn't be depressing. the core of the story was triumph against all odds. to take the triumph that was earned over the course of the whole story, and ruin it for the sake of generating angst... it misses the point. I did not read all 8000+ pages of homestuck multiple times because I wanted a tragedy. if I wanted tragedy, I would choose a different story. of course a lot of fans would have trouble liking EP/HS2... this wasn't what they signed up for. it pulls the rug out from under the fans of the original comic by pulling a mean genre bait and switch. why would people who liked a story like homestuck want a story like this? and I mean, obviously some people were okay with this. some people like EP/HS2. but you have to admit that it is an entirely different thing than what homestuck was.
I’ve heard some folks try to compare the darker parts of EP/HS2 to the darker parts of homestuck, and this is why they aren't the same. the darkness performs different functions in each story. in homestuck, it contrasts the lighter parts and creates a reason to keep everyone moving. in EP/HS2, it is the whole darn thing. the story is simply woven from it to begin with. I have heard some people say that they think of EP/HS2 as cathartic... as a reflection of life when things are painful or hard. but I think we really need to remember what catharsis is. catharsis doesn’t begin and end with pain. catharsis has to do something with that pain, or it’s just pain for pain’s sake. and the further I look into EP/HS2, the more I feel like the story is just playing it straight as a tragedy... though sometimes I wonder if it knows this.
so let's pull apart the tragedy of EP/HS2. because while I don’t really enjoy tragedies, (hence why I liked homestuck, and didn’t like EP/HS2... they are opposites in this sense), I still understand how tragedies work. catharsis can be part of it... to see something sad happen, and relate to that sadness, and feel a deep emotion... that does make sense. but the line between catharsis and just plain agitation is whether or not the pain actually provides you with a sense of relief. if the story leaves the character stuck in a bad emotional place, you feel stuck too... unable to confront the emotional burden that the story has saddled you with in a satisfying way, because it isn't even your own. in real life, when you are hurt, at least you have the ability to do whatever you need for yourself, in order to eventually feel better. I have grieved before, and somehow found it in me to laugh again since. but in stories, you rely on the author to construct the characters' response to bad events, and if things just go from bad to worse, sometimes with little resistance, the audience is eventually going to feel really agitated by the lack of relief. even stories that end in death provide catharsis due to the finality of it. the life ends, and provides a sense of closure. but EP/HS2 doesn’t give you an out. it just keeps driving many of the characters into more and more mundanely uncomfortable and dissatisfying lives, or turns them into people we would rather not know or read about.... which feels like a loss to the reader, even though the character is right there. at that point, the character's presence only makes you feel worse because they used to be someone you liked, but now they're just a reminder of your disappointment. and this level of your emotional discomfort isn't even something that the narrative will address, because it's just a side effect of how things are going. it isn't poetic, and there is no real comfort given to lighten that load... it's just unpleasant.
and on a more technical level, I would like to point out that stories create a kind of transaction between author and reader. and once you understand the status quo between you and a particular author, you can gauge the level of investment you feel safe putting in the characters. at their core, it stands to reason that stories should require conflict to be interesting. but in order to stay interesting, they also need to give us a reason to care about the conflict. in homestuck, I felt like the story set up a status quo in which we felt comfortable caring about certain characters, because we subtly trusted that the author wasn't wasting our time or jerking us around. like, you knew that a lot of crazy shit was on the table, but it felt like the story was growing, the author was interested in that growth, and thus he would not kill it. even if you couldn't begin to guess what was gonna happen next, you at least didn't have to worry about the author hugely ruining things that you liked about the story. he seemed like he liked those things too. we were all on the same page in that regard.
this is where character investment was very important to homestuck... the readers needed something to hang on to, or they'd lose interest in what was going on, and in homestuck specifically, the thing that kept us hanging on, was our love for these characters, and our wish to see them prevail against the odds. we were hoping for a satisfying ending, and interested in how we'd get there. and by now, I think homestuck fans in particular are very determined to stick to the characters by nature. if we weren't, then we would've been bored out of reading the comic in the first place back in act 1, when the most exciting thing that had happened was John going through his house and finding his dad in the kitchen. if you don't love John at least a little, you won't want to keep reading about him picking up items and describing them to you for a whole chapter, with not but the entertainment value of his character's particular perspective and voice to sustain you.
obviously, character investment isn't always a story's draw... but it was definitely homestuck’s. and even giving EP/HS2 the benefit of the doubt... let's say we're just judging it on the merits of being a tragic story. there are many levels of engagement that a story can hit, and in a lot of tragedies, the interest comes from the machinations of the plot. you already know it's going to end sadly, but you have the ability to process the sadness (a negative emotional experience and potential reader deterrent) while still maintaining interest, because you want to know how it will happen. it is unfortunate then, that EP/HS2 isn't a stand alone story, independent from homestuck itself. because if you tell a homestuck fan that the story will now only end in sadness, they likely won't want to know how it happens. because they already decided to like and relate to these characters, and wish for their happiness. they were taught it was okay to hope for that, based on the way the story used to be. basically, one of the essential appeals of homestuck (character investment) is actively working against the core appeal of a tragedy (understanding how sad events came to pass) because homestuck's appeal worked so well to begin with. it's basically nonsensical to try and jump track from one to the other, because the reader is much more likely to fall off the wagon entirely, and ignore your story in order to preserve their enjoyment of the story they already consumed.
but to get way more blunt about this... homestuck was good, and ruining what it left us with was unpopular for obvious reasons. fans were successfully invested in the story, the final triumphant payoff was a satisfying way to cap the narrative, and honestly... I think homestuck probably should've just stopped while the vibes were good. people were satiated. they were sad that it was over, but the sadness came from fondness, and that just sort of felt appropriate. we had it so good.
the transaction between author and reader was stable at that point. we had conflict. we had a reason to care. we got a resolution. there was a level of trust established, and honored... we trusted that there was a rhythm to the story. a push and pull between the kind of threat that would necessitate action from our heroes, and the ability of the characters to overcome the conflict well enough that we'd be left with something satisfying in the end. this trust no longer exists in EP/HS2. the epilogues broke it, and homestuck 2 has failed to repair it because, to be honest, it was already too badly damaged. it would take a full retcon to actually bring that back after the epilogues, but then it uh... screwed the pooch all over again. sorry, that was insensitive.
anyway. so like... what about the particulars of the story's content? I mean... I know I'm dissatisfied because a lot of the characters have been blatantly destroyed. Dirk will be my example for this bit, I mean, just look at him. in one epilogue route he commits suicide, and by making Ult. Dirk a thing, they effectively unestablished the identity of Dirk as he was in homestuck. and my limited knowledge of the epilogues doesn't allow me to really know about this, but was there even any acknowledgement of how death works in homestuck? Dirk must've known that if he killed himself, he'd end up as a ghost out in the dream bubbles. that is still a thing, right? Dave could've gone looking for him. considering Dirk's pesterquest route, he should've wanted to. and see, there's an example of what might've approached catharsis in a situation like that... pain, but also a human person dealing with that pain in a way that feels like fulfillment. but as far as I've heard, the story didn't go there? so it's just pain for pain's sake... or maybe just a bid to get rid of the more complex version of his character and replace him with an anime villain. and the method doesn't even make any sense, like, Dirk is the last character that would ever commit suicide because, by his own canonical words, he is scared to not exist. he literally couldn't bring himself to destroy the AR because of this, in spite of having every technical and emotional reason to want to. this is a major pain point for him, and I know it's typical to think of someone with self hatred wanting to kill themselves, but Dirk is a particularly different case. he should not be shoved into such an ill fitting generic narrative for shock value.
and beyond that, let's say you're someone who identified with Dirk. let's say that when homestuck said "you are now Dirk Strider" you were like "oh fuck I kinda am tho" and you were invested in him ever since. let's say that the points of investment you felt with him were in his troubles with self loathing, his fear of not existing, or his trouble communicating his true feelings to others. this is a rather dismal end for Dirk to have come to... and a rather dismal story for you to read if you still relate to this character. if you're coming off the end of homestuck still securely relating to him as heavily as you did when he was allowed to triumph, how fucking bad is it gonna feel to see him so thoroughly obliterated? to whiplash so hard from a perceived success to such abject failure is just mean. this story is so mean now, like, everyone's got the bug it seems.
and not only do several characters perish (literally, or by being mismanaged) for cheap drama in EP/HS2, but some just turn into shitty people? like, Rose recently revealed that she cheated on Kanaya. I simply hate the idea that Rose would grow up to be the type of person who would do that. I remember Rose in acts 1 through 5 being the kind of person who had misguided ideas about what course of action she thought would be effective. she would make some pretty big decisions, and act on destructive impulses, often in spite of what her friends thought was safe. in essence, I can see where the authors of homestuck 2 would get the idea of Rose going off and doing big shit without telling people. but this ignores why she was so determined to do any of that stuff in the first place... Rose was just as invested in protecting the people she cared about as anyone. and besides that, I thought her arc in those early acts had taught her something about that approach? I thought she got closer to people, to the point where they could voice a concern and she'd listen.
in regards to her relationship with Kanaya in particular, there's a huge difference between knowing someone for a day at the age of 13, and spending 3 more years getting to know and love that person before deciding to marry them. so even if this was the reflection of a quality that Rose had back then, I thought she grew past it... she had ample time and opportunity... we even watched her get better about this sort of thing. literally this rolls back her character development to when she was a child, and makes her a shitty adult. and if I’m being really scathing here, I might as well say that this feels like an example of that thing that stories sometimes do, where they only care about a relationship while the characters are struggling to get together. and then once they are together, it timeskips past their relationship being functional and lands you at a point where they're experiencing turbulence. at which point it leverages their relationship trouble for drama, rather than letting the two function well as a unit against an outside threat of some kind. like, no happy couples exist in fiction! gotta wring your conflict out of the fact that they’re falling apart! it feels like they’re being exploited by the writers.
and worst of all... this betrayal of trust by Rose either ruins Rose and Kanaya's marriage, or makes Kanaya seem like a fool. I keep thinking back to their time on the meteor, when Rose asked if Kanaya was breaking up with her because they finally reached that tipping point where Rose's drinking had to be acknowledged as a problem. and Kanaya said that no, she wasn't breaking up with her, and stuck with Rose because she was dedicated to loving her even if that meant helping her with a serious problem. that was such a strong character moment for Kanaya. it displayed her loyalty and dedication to Rose, but also a nuanced understanding of when a problem can actually be solved by dedicated effort. having her be so committed to staying with Rose in spite of Rose's transgressions is like a perversion of those positive qualities. now it just feels like Kanaya is irrationally willing to put up with anything from Rose, no matter how egregious. it takes a trait that was so nice about Kanaya, and uses it in such an upsetting way... and honestly, there was no reason to do that.
but this is a huge problem with EP/HS2... there's like, juuuuuust enough of a through line for people to think that it makes sense. so when I try to say that the characters are just better people than this, and that they're smart enough to do the most basic fundamental things to prevent pain in people that they care about... when I say I believe in the integrity of these characters, I could very well get someone adamantly insisting that I was just being naive. that sometimes, in reality, people disappoint you. what can I even do about that, without sounding like I'm in denial, or like I'm only interested in liking these characters when all their rough spots are smoothed away? how can I begin to articulate that these aren't decisions being made by the characters... they're decisions being made by authors who I don't trust for exactly this reason. and I very especially hate this because just... no! I know what these characters' flaws actually were! and what their strengths were! I had a solid read on their identity, because homestuck was so friggin good at establishing that! I know that a huge part of Rose coming into her own was learning how to cut all the snarky passive aggressive sarcasm and just be honest about her feelings... something that she actually advocated for when talking to Dave, but also had to learn to do herself. the logical escalation of Rose’s character would be a trend toward more openness... but also, just in general, Rose never had a kindness problem. like, I guess that’s the biggest thing I have an issue with. Rose was never this unkind.
it just feels like the writers want us to believe that not only was Kanaya played for a fool, but we were as well. we thought Rose was better than this. we thought we were better judges of character than this. and honestly... we were! the writing was not on the wall about this development. but that just doesn't mean anything because EP/HS2 said that it happened.
and this also harms the relatability of Rose for the people who used to identify with her. I'm not saying she has to be perfect... obviously, characters can and should be flawed. and characters can have flaws that you don't perfectly relate to the specifics of. Rose developed a drinking problem at a young age, which a few people might've related to, but it's very specific. but if you broaden the implications of that in the context of a story... a ton of people will be able to relate to the concept of developing an unhealthy coping mechanism, or doing something you don't really enjoy just to relate to a relative who has been distant to you for whatever reason, or even just having a complicated relationship with a parent. so what if you apply this kind of broadened meaning to Rose's cheating? the idea that she is not trustworthy. that she hides major, life altering information from people who are very close to her and should've been told. that she doesn't trust her partner, and would rather sneak around and hide this for years, rather than either letting her partner be involved in this part of her life, or accepting that her partner isn't comfortable with this development and respecting that boundary. this sort of thing is really alienating to people who know that they themselves are better than this. and “alienating” is the exact antithesis of what homestuck always was to the people who loved it.
what's especially interesting to me, is that the effects of this alienation actually come through in the way that people talk about EP/HS2 nowadays. I don't know if anyone has noticed this trend yet, but people tend to talk about the events of EP/HS2 as decisions made by writers, rather than decisions made by characters. which is weird, because people didn't do that so much with homestuck. and for this I wanna break out Vriska as an example. a lot of people like Vriska, and a lot of people hate Vriska. she's controversial. but no matter what, people always take Vriska's actions as though they're hers. and if they hate what Vriska does in the story, then they hate Vriska. not Hussie, for writing her that way. not even the vague concept of the narrative. they consider Vriska's actions to actually belong to her and form her identity, which they then pass judgment on, one way or another. Hussie is even a character that canonically exists within homestuck, and nobody ever thought to blame him, in universe, for being the origin of Vriska as a trouble causing entity in the story. compare that with how many times you'll see someone say that they don't like what the EP/HS2 writers have done with Rose, Jade, Jane, etc.... they tend not to actually level blame at the characters themselves. obviously this does vary a lot from person to person, but as a vague trend, I would say that people are starting to detach themselves from the characters, or at least detach the characters from their actions in EP/HS2. and to me it reads as a bit of a defense mechanism. it is a degree of separation that lets these characters keep their integrity, and the potential for positive development that they had when homestuck initially ended. it is a trend that, to me, proves the point that the level of pain for pain's sake in this story is too much. without relief, people disengage. even if they want to keep up with how the characters are doing, they no longer want to buy into the narrative's reality... so they acknowledge the author, and the fact that this is fiction. they remove themselves from the act of being invested. and the more adamantly you see people doing this, the more uncomfortable you can assume it feels for these people to buy into the events of the story and treat them as real.
to jump track to another odd point that I think creates a further barrier between cast and audience... has anyone noticed the age of the main cast's children that we've seen appear so far? all of them seem to be similar to the ages of the beta kids when we first met them. they're teenagers. and that means that, if my knowledge is correct, we kinda skipped a chunk of these people's lives. we never really spent time seeing the original homestuck kids as new parents... we never saw them raising their babies. and I get that this is an odd complaint, but it's an example of the story not growing with its audience. it's missing a huge opportunity, not only to show us this portion of their lives, but to fill in with some major world building when it comes to Earth C. are we supposed to assume that absolutely none of the main cast of homestuck made any new friends on Earth C? did they not explore what kind of culture popped up on this planet? what if one of the main cast had gone out and met someone totally new to befriend or love on this planet? but no... we're strictly only interested in the original cast and their kids, which they only ever had with each other, and nobody is really friends anymore, but nobody has met anyone new either... basically depression and isolation is the only option for these characters if the writers aren't willing to actually let them live in the world they're living in. and besides that, at time of writing, there is one friend of mine from my friend group that is just now planning on getting married. he'll be the first of all of us. and while he and his fiancé want kids pretty quickly once they're settled down, it still hasn't even happened yet. we're in our late 20s. and believe me, I understand the desire to timeskip to when the kids are old enough to be full people, but you have to remember not only that there are other ways to introduce new characters, but also who we're even trying to relate to here. is it the new kids, or their parents? because most of us aren't parents yet, much less the parents of teenagers, but we aren’t teenagers anymore either, and this isn’t framed as their story anyway. how are the majority of homestuck’s older fans represented in EP/HS2?
and when EP/HS2 skips the portion of these characters' lives that we, in real life, are actually living, it subtly hints that a story that would reflect what our lives are like isn't interesting, and tells us that not much good is expected to be waiting in our futures either. and the bigger problem with that is that the writing decisions in EP/HS2 represent the authors' answer to the question: how do we make this interesting? clearly they didn't think that anyone would be satisfied with a nice little romp through the lives these characters might've built. like, a slice of life type of story? or maybe something with a smaller stakes conflict? I dunno why, but my first thought was like... what if Jane ended up actually becoming a detective, and the story just had an intermission-style detour into her solving a case or something? at least a weird, hyper specific detour like that would signal that we care about what she's doing... that'd be fine by me! but they couldn't even give us something that would frame her as a good person... they just treated her like she never got un-possessed by the Condesce, and called it a day. it just feels like these are authors who wouldn't be satisfied with a story that lets the characters be at ease in their private lives. peace is something that is off the table, like, if the characters are living good, satisfying lives, we will never hear about it because apparently that counts as nothing to report.
but also... in the absence of the larger plot machinations that SBURB provided, what was left to create a struggle for these characters to face? it couldn't be Jack Noir, Lord English, the Condesce... those threats all got resolved. and they couldn’t let the characters exist in any facsimile of peace. so the writers needed something to stir things up. and in trying to find a new challenge to drive the story, they dug into the stuff that, in my opinion, should not have been used in this way. they began grasping at character drama, trying to wring conflict out of the deterioration of the relationships between the characters.
but at the same time, they're trying to capture the grandeur of homestuck during its more iconic moments. and okay, this is a pretty far out there speculation, but I've always made this observation about homestuck, and the way it got popularized. early on, fans would get into it with no real idea of how big or ambitious the story was going to be. going into act 1 blind, you wouldn't suspect this comic of being much more than a quirky, funny little weekly strip, set up for the sole purpose of making weird jokes about Nic Cage or Harry Anderson. then you get to the big shit. which in act 1 could just be the meteor destroying John's house. but that's a pretty impressive amount of escalation based on the expectations you had. fast forward to a bigger moment, like the reveal that the trolls' SGRUB session created the human universe, and you're super excited about this. so you tell whoever will listen that they should really read homestuck! and maybe they listen, and they go to page one and... well... they seem kind of unimpressed by the way the comic looks. this is what all the hype was about? and you really wanna sell it to them, so you're like, no, seriously, it gets so much better. and maybe you show them bits like the LOWAS walk around flash game, or maybe [S] make her pay, or something. and they're like, whoa, the comic gets like that? so perhaps they slog through the early acts, or maybe they just skip to the trolls and double back when they're confused enough... but either way, the comic's selling point is now it's climax, not the buildup.
and the problem with viewing the comic this way is that homestuck is both things. proportionally, homestuck is actually way more composed of the tedious little stuff than the grand big stuff. but homestuck was popularized via the grand big stuff, and sometimes I feel like EP/HS2 is attempting to fill itself with big stuff like that, but it isn't doing the legwork right. it's using character drama to fuel itself, but it's also trying to be highly epic in terms of its presentation. the lack of contrast flattens everything out, and as I described earlier, the story no longer has that essential push and pull between the terrorizing forces that threaten the characters/raise the stakes, and the unity and likability of the cast that makes you care about their struggle/gets you invested in seeing the conflict resolved. and I just wanna point out that those little interstitial bits... the ones that are typically viewed as the stuff you have to slog through in order to get to the interesting part? those were our main source of knowledge when it came to the characters. it's how we got invested in them and came to know that we liked or related to them in the first place.
the larger ramifications of this lean away from the little things, while also leaning into character drama to fuel conflict in the plot, leads to the overuse of bombastic character drama. sensationalized character drama. everything is always a huge fucking deal, while also being primarily concerned with the existing characters, rather than any kind of outside threat. so what are the tools? a wedding? a funeral? terminal illness, betrayal, a change in ideology that creates a schism... the loss of identity. all these high drama moments that generate conflict by sacrificing the bonds these characters shared. you know... letting that core piece of investment self destruct. the story is basically eating itself in order to sustain its momentum, but there's basically no point anymore. it's been gutted of the stuff that really mattered.
so why did everything go so badly? why do half of the characters not even like each other anymore? why do we not even like half of them anymore? why did the writers feel the need to dismantle them like this? well, because what else do we have to work with... how do you introduce a new threat to these characters without it being either SBURB all over again, or something entirely different that just makes these characters seem overwhelmingly put upon by the universe, like, more than any other individuals that have ever existed. it's actually a very rudimentary power escalation problem. gotta find that next level of bigger problem to set on everyone.
but do you wanna know what kind of homestuck fan I’ve been since the very beginning? I started reading homestuck 9 years ago. I think I was like 16 or 17? and at first I wasn’t sure how to interact with the comic, so I went to the “about” section of the website. it told me, in a broad sense, what mspaintadventures.com was, as a collection of work, and suggested that I begin by reading problem sleuth. not knowing that it wasn’t part of homestuck, I did just that. I read all of it. before I even got to homestuck. I am a fan that lives for the small, stupid, tedious fucking around. the slow buildup of total bullshit... the complex setup that gives you a million microscopic payoffs on it’s way to god knows what end goal. it’s like watching an explosion in reverse. all the tiny little pieces fly chaotically together and coalesce into a whole story, and you got to watch it build itself, piece by tiny little piece. I live and breathe for that level of detail. and the most fun I ever had with the story was when the characters were wandering around an environment, exploring and using various objects to set up these wacky chain reactions, half of which you’d never see coming, but which would all retroactively make sense in the end.
what I’m saying is that small scale conflict is interesting. and there are whole genres that build themselves off of this. I actually think that in certain instances, homestuck may fall under the slice of life genre. and slice of life is largely misunderstood as a rather bland genre, but the appeal is watching people with personalities that you enjoy. you watch them live their lives, and you go along for the ride. true slice of life is not a soap opera... it’s just enjoying the company of people who happen to be fictional. there's always been an element of that in homestuck... these were characters that you could see yourself getting along with if you met them. they were entertaining because of how they saw the world... how you would see the world if you were looking through their eyes. and homestuck gave you that opportunity. sometimes, that actually is all that you need.
I'm not saying that homestuck's ideal form is as a purely slice of life type of story... but wasn't that kind of what a lot of the fan works felt like? little comics about funny scenarios, or preexisting comedy bits with roles assigned to the characters they reminded you of... that stuff was the form that fun took for the fans of this comic. why is that so easily dismissed as frivolous? why is it so bad to want a little of that back? sometimes, you do wanna get into the hard stuff. maybe you wanna see Dave and Dirk have a conversation where they both admit that all they wanted as kids was a brother, and neither felt like they got to have that, but in very different ways. maybe you wanna see Roxy and Rose compare their similar feelings of estrangement, and explore the emotions that led them into their respective struggles with alcohol. maybe you wanna see John have a moment of sadness when he decides he wants to raise a kid, because he misses his own dad, and while Jane's dad is definitely family, he isn't the guy that actually raised John for the first 13 years of his life. maybe you wanna see Jade get inordinately clingy with every single one of her friends until one of them finally voices a concern about needing some space, only to see a glimpse of Jade's absolute terror at the thought of being alone again. and that pain is something that could definitely find a place in a story with more actual down time. maybe these moments of actually cathartic lingering pain could be explored with sensitivity in a story that gives them room to breathe. if the writers played their cards right and let the characters heal in meaningful ways, they might've even gotten tears of happiness out of a few of us. wouldn't that have been wild.
I just hate the idea that something is more realistic if it's dark. that's not true at all. I understand where the sentiment comes from. I understand the merits of taking an unflinching look at hard truths. but cynicism is not the same as realism. and realistically, people will try hard to seek good things for themselves in life. and even if they miss the mark... even if they fall into depression, or lack the ability to make their dreams a reality, these particular characters had already sought and found good people. people who would, realistically, absolutely help a friend if they needed it. I know this, because I watched them do that. the whole first five acts were literally about the trolls yelling at the humans because there was a huge problem that they blamed the kids for causing, and what did these kids do? they said "hey wait, let's fix that" and they did. even though the trolls made a horribly rude first impression. even though it was monumentally challenging. these kids have fought and died for each other's sake. they are family. if not by blood then by bond. and when that part of a story resonates with an audience, it is valuable.
I feel like I shouldn't have to defend the value of connecting positively with an audience. I get that this may be kind of a hokey take... I get that the people who currently like EP/HS2 will probably think I'm asking for something far too saccharine. but at this point I don't even care. once again, this is just my personal opinion, long and rant-like though it may be. and clearly it will change nothing about the current state of homestuck's most canon non-canon continuation. I guess my one major frustration is the extent to which some people have bought into what I consider to be blatant character defamation. it pains me when people talk about the actions of some of the characters in EP/HS2, because while many blame the writers for the unsettling behavior displayed by them in EP/HS2, some will readily consider this to be where the kids from the early acts really ended up as people.
#homestuck#homestuck^2#fair warning this is all criticism#don't like don't read#and all that jazz#I'm pinning this post cuz I don't wanna lose it#because looking at it will be my self control when I wanna rant about it again and I know I will#like no you asshole you already ranted you don't have to do it again#cw: suicide#I legit forgot to tag that til I went to get a shower and realized halfway through#I basically info dumped all this here and then my head was well and truly empty#also#cw: cheating#?#idk that's the only other thing I can think of that I discussed here which might be a problem for some folks#btw subtle tag whispering that the reblog with tags explaining where a couple of the things I mentioned were addressed a little was nice#I knew I wouldn't get everything spot on... this is definitely criticism coming from a not 100% informed place#but yeah... I still kinda feel like even if the epilogues acknowledge the writer as an entity that differs from the characters...#that just kind of doubles down on the inability of fans to engage? like it cements it.#and even if meat does focus on their 20s while candy timeskips (which I wasn't aware of) like...#look at what happened to meat#look because I don't want to lol#is there anybody left who isn't sad?#cuz real talk I like using happy characters as wish fulfillment when I'm sad#and seeing a character get challenged and still come out with some determined positive energy... I love that#anyone remember when Aradia went god tier? I was overjoyed#literally all it took was her beating apathy and regaining her personhood#I love that stuff#god fucking damn it I'm still ranting what is even up with that
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sombreboy · 5 years ago
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Love Maze »8
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Previous  » Next Series Masterlist ▎ 18+ ▎ pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook ▎ genre: School AU, crack humor, smut, angst, ETL, slow burn, fluff. ▎ word count: 8.8k ▎ ch.warnings: cursing, use of homophobic slurs (censored), mentions of abusive parents, floooofff
Co-writer: @velvetwicebang ♡♡♡ Banner made by my lovely @ppersonna​ chu chu ♡
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The next day came quick enough, Jungkook throwing his backpack over his shoulder before heading to the morning practice. Even if he technically barely got any sleep, he still felt more rested than he's ever been before.
It's crazy what a new relationship does to you.
Jungkook headed down to the locker room, empty as it was due to him being early-- nothing new. He enjoyed the silence, but this time, he wondered when Taehyung would arrive. 
Kooks mind wandered, a small smile on his face as he pulled his hoodie off, digging in his backpack for his Jersey
~
The following morning, Taehyung showed up to school earlier than normal. He didn’t want anyone to question him, even less gawk at him like they did the last time.
So, he figured it’d be best to change into his basketball attire and keep to himself for the first half of the morning. Of course, Jungkook would most likely want an explanation, but Tae had yet to think of one.
Just the thought of that stressed him out.
What could he tell his boyfriend?
Definitely not the truth. At least, not now..
Avoiding eye contact with a few of his peers, Taehyung pushed on the locker room door, not expecting to see anyone else there.
The elder looked bad, more bruises now adorning his face. It seemed like he could never seem to catch a break.
Much to his dismay, Jungkook was there. Tae’s eyes widened, before quickly recollecting himself.
“Before you say anything, I’m fine.” He lied, and maybe it was obvious he was lying. He didn’t want Kook worrying about him.
The smile that had adorned the younger's face quickly faltered when he laid eyes on Taehyung. He looked like absolute shit
"You call that fine? how could that be fine?" Without hesitation, Jungkook drops his water bottle to the floor as he jogs up to Taehyung, his hands immediately reaching out to delicately cup the elders face, guiding it into different angles so that he could examine the bruises. These were new, not at all the old ones because of Ash from the other day.
"What the fuck happened..?" His doe eyes were, indeed, worried-- whether Tae wanted it or not.
“Nothing happened, okay? I just..”
What else could he say to justify himself? Taehyung had nothing.
Jungkook was smart, he’d be able to pick apart his bullshit of an excuse in a second.
“I fell somewhere..”
He dreaded waiting for Kook’s reaction, he knew what he said was stupid,
“I don’t want you worrying about me, alright? I’ll be fine.” The elder smiled, pulling Jungkook close to him by the waist, “Quit frowning so much.. your face is going to stay that way.”
Taehyung teased, hoping to ease the tension for now.
He pressed a soft kiss on Jungkook’s scar, still holding him close.
Jungkooks frown fought the muscles pulling in his face, eventually losing the fight as he couldn't help but smile at how easily he was swooned over and over by Taehyung-- even if it was through a simple kiss on his cheek, and feeling him close.
"Fine," he breathes out, still not completely convinced that it was nothing, however he can tell that Taehyung doesn't want to push it further. And knowing him-- there was no use in trying at this time. 
"Hey, you're here early..." Jungkook's hands settle at the elders waist, memories from last night replaying in his head. He loved this part of his body, the way his waist slightly curved inwards, kooks hands perfectly molded into the dip, "Wanna join me for the warm up?"
The moment Jungkook’s hands moved to his waist, that same submissive, whiny, pathetic Taehyung arose to the surface.
It was insane how much a touch came with so much recollection.
He still had some bruising on his hips, given to him from Kook’s strong hold.
The younger one was buff, there was no doubt about that. Those continuous days at the gym paid off.
At this moment, no matter if he was taller than Jungkook, Taehyung felt incredibly small in his arms. He only towered him by an inch, so there was barely any difference, but still.
“Warm up? My ass still hurts.” Tae threw his head back with a groan, really not looking forward to any future practices.
The elder couldn’t move without a limp, how was he supposed to run across the court?
“Fine. As long as you promise to go easy on me.” Taehyung smirked, pulling away to change out of his clothes and into his Jersey and shorts.
"If I could do it, so can you," Jungkook chuckles, cringing at the memory-- the day after the locker room fuck. He was such a mess at that time, now it's Tae’s turn to run with a sore ass.
He was only kidding though, his genuine care for him slips through as his eyes are fixed on the elder changing, almost dumb looking for how hes not even subtle about his stare in admiration.
"You look pretty."
His eyes rake Taehyung's torso, able to distinguish the bruises caused by himself-- but also noticing the bruises that weren't.
When Taehyung noticed Kook staring at him, he grinned, until he remembered the other bruises painted on by his father.
There was a noticeable splash of dark purple on his stomach, where the man had kicked him before leaving him to bleed on the floor.
Not wanting Jungkook to continue looking at it, Tae quickly threw on his Jersey.
“Thanks..” He smiled, a boxy smile too. Those were rare, but Kook easily brought them out of him, “Now come on, let’s warm up.” Taehyung threw an arm around Jungkook’s shoulder after he put on his shorts, leading them out of the locker room.
It was nice being the only two ones there, quiet, not so much commotion. Sometimes he needed that in his life.
Jungkook must be growing into a man-- because lately all he seems to think about when Taehyung's body is so close, is to touch. Kiss. Even the urge to sink his teeth into the elders skin hits him way too frequently. He was like a source of gravity, a temptation from the devil himself-- and not just indulging in him every second felt like a sin in itself.
And then there was the other feelings; the raw, pure, appreciation for the man. He felt so calm, safe, and happy around him.
The two sides of his love really created a clash. 
Anyway, some running always helps when he needs to clear his mind. As they make it to the court, kook still keeps his hand tightly wrapped around the elders slim waist,
"If you can't run, just jog." Kook reassured, rubbing his large palm on taes side for a moment, eyes glancing over at him with pursed lips, "Or just stretch. You can watch me?"
The elder thought about it for a minute, nodding his head,
“I’ll watch you.” Taehyung hummed, walking next to Jungkook’s side, the word ‘personal space’ so foreign to them. 
What he didn’t know was that Namjoon was standing outside of the practice hall, a smile so big his dimples could be seen. 
What could he say, he was proud.
It was a nice change, not having to break up their arguments anymore. The elder didn’t want to intrude on their time together, so he went down to the locker room.
“Go on, baby. Show me what you’ve got~” Taehyung bit down on his lip, preventing a grin from spreading. He sat down in the middle of the gym, cross legged whilst he watched Jungkook make circles around him, giggling when he’d get a little dizzy.
He liked this, that was for sure.
Jungkook kept shooting glances and silly grins towards taehyung as he ran around the court, shoes squeaking against the floor,
"Taehyungie, do I look cool?" The younger fished for praise, a mischievous smile playing on his bunny like teeth. He kept going for a bit until he decided to make an abrupt turn, instead jogging towards his boyfriend. He slows down, halting in front of him as he gazes down at the elder through his sweaty, dark locks that dangle over his eyes.
Taehyung stood up, fishing for his water bottle before extending it out for Jungkook to take, one hand resting on the younger’s back, “The coolest. After me, of course.” He playfully nudged Kook with his shoulder, about to reward him with an innocent kiss when the rest of their teammates began showing up.
Taehyung made some more room between them, scratching at his nape. He wished they could’ve spent more time alone. 
“I think I’m just gonna sit this one out..” The elder murmured, taking one last look at Jungkook before limping over to the bench, getting greeted by some of the guys.
They asked him about the new bruises, as well as the limp. 
Taehyung lied straight through his teeth, saying that he got in a fight and ‘beat someone’s ass.’
The guys joked about it being a f*ggot, taking into consideration some of Tae’s homophobic remarks in the past.
Taehyung just laughed, like a chameleon blending into its surroundings. 
It was fine, it wasn’t like he actually thought that..
A little bit of acting can’t hurt.
He looked at Jungkook one last time, eyes softening. As long as they didn’t call Kook a f*ggot, he would keep quiet.
Jungkook chugged his water down, eyes following taehyung in confusion, as to why he suddenly distanced himself in the presence of the team-- until the homophobic remarks are echoing, a little confused by why tae would laugh. Maybe kook was just sensitive, but he chose to let it be, a small, cringey smile on his lips at the situation. As long as they didn't keep going on about it-- he would keep quiet.
Jungkook averted the elders eyes during the moment, a bit uncomfortable hearing the words being so casually thrown. Instead, he refocused on stretching a bit before his hyungs will come over to him, catching small glances towards tae.
After stepping into the Gym, Jimin made his way towards Jungkook, a beaming smile on his face remembering yesterday’s events. The shorter would’ve been lying if he said it didn’t make him feel single as fuck..
But, it was okay. His prince or princess charming will come in and sweep him off his feet anytime soon.. at least he hoped.
“Hi Kookie!” Jimin ruffled the other boy’s hair, following his gaze which seemed to lead to Taehyung.
He smirked.
“Looking at your boyfriend?” The elder teased, not knowing how much truth lingered behind his words. The most he knew was that Jungkook and Taehyung liked each other, that’s it.
“Woah, what happened to Tae?” Jimin finally asked in the midst of his stretching, taking notice of Taehyung’s new complexion, dark red with a hint of purple.
Jungkook shrugged at Jimin's questions,
''He got into a fight,'' He wasn't sure what really happened, but it must've been it. What bothers Kook however, is, how did Tae manage to get into a fight from when he dropped kook off at home until the morning? It didn't make sense...
At the mention of 'looking at your boyfriend', Kook wasn't sure if he could expose the fact. The hyungs knew they liked each other, right?
But, he simply decides to avoid the question, finishing his stretching before catching another glance towards Taehyung.
He just wanted this practice over with, so he could spend more time with his new lover.
All Jimin could do was nod, mind wandering back to Taehyung’s ‘delinquent’ years. The latter’s always been someone who kept to himself, but it was in Middle School where a lot of the physical fights began. 
God, the moment Jimin found out was the moment he wanted to beat Tae’s ass. His friend wasn’t violent, he knew that.
Taehyung barely spoke about it, but Jimin was sure that it had something to do with his mother’s death. Not a lot of people knew about this.
“Well, he needs to get that treated before it gets worse.” The elder noted, looking at Taehyung one more time before diving into practice.
After a couple hours of hard work, practice was finally over.
Tae mainly just sat there, staring at Jungkook like a proud boyfriend. Kook was a really hard worker.. It was something that only drew him in even more.
“Fuck, that was tiring.” Yoongi whined, his skin glistening with sweat whilst he changed out of his Basketball attire.
Taehyung didn’t say anything, just waiting for his hyungs and Jungkook to get dressed.
Jungkook wipes his forehead with the sweaty jersey that he’d pulled off his torso, chest heaving as he’s still exhausted from today’s practice. He’d put his everything into it today, he really needed to get all his energy out— so he could manage the rest of the day without being too jittery about his boyfriend.
“Ah, tiring but it felt good.” Kook chimed in before he dug out his clothes to put on.
Quicker than he expected, Taehyung’s sharp eyes enlarged when he looked at the clock.
School was almost out. A few more minutes and he’ll finally be free from the boring lectures and piles of work.
Tae guessed the time ticked by faster than usual because he was doing something he enjoyed. He probably looked like an idiot smiling down at his crotch, texting Jungkook in secrecy.
The boy was a mushy mess..
To: Kook🥴 Don’t take forever this time, I’m gonna give you a ride 😁
The elder pressed send and leaned back in his chair, anxious to hear the familiar bell ring.
Once it did, he was one of the first people to get out of there (per usual). But this time around, Taehyung’s strides were more quick paced.
He wanted to see Jungkook.
The boy waited in the common area, peeking above students’ heads to hopefully catch a glimpse of Kook, rocking on his feet.
Jungkook smiled like a dork when he checked his text. He didn’t reply— he was a rather terrible texter. But the indicator of “read” should be enough.
He strapped his backpack over his shoulder when the familiar bell finally rang, quick on his steps to shuffle through all students to make his way over to the common area, doe eyes searching for Taehyung.
Once he found the familiar face, he also caught a glimpse of another pair of eyes in the crowd. There’s no way he wouldn’t know who those eyes belonged to.
Ash.
Jungkook froze when they made eye contact, however, before he could react, ash had left the area. He didn’t do anything.
Kook was frozen in place, lips slightly agape in shock, momentarily he forgot about his boyfriend waiting for him just a few steps away.
“What’s wrong with you, Kook?” Taehyung playfully nudged Jungkook’s shoulders with his, keeping his hands in the warmth of his pockets despite having the urge to tangle their fingers together.
Too many people around..
“C’mon, let’s go.” Tae swung an arm around the boy’s shoulders, not thinking much of it since he’s seen pairs of friends do the same thing.
As he practically dragged Jungkook towards the exit, Taehyung let out a quiet wince. One of the cuts on his face from his father’s ring stung like hell, small beads of blood oozing from the opening.
If only Tae knew how to bandage himself up properly, this wouldn’t have happened
Taehyung immediately shook his head at the idea of going home, the memories from last night were still too fresh, and apparently so were the cuts and bruises. He didn’t want to risk meeting gazes with his father again, at least not so soon.
What happened last night.. it was new. The most he’s ever endured from the man was a slap on the face, and a lot of mental abuse. But never this..
“I’ll go with you to the store,” Taehyung smiled, shifting his attention to Kook whilst they continued walking to his car, ignoring the injury pricking at his skin.
The elder felt guilty; Jungkook will have to bandage him up again. He should’ve kept his mouth shut and not cared about his father’s toxic decisions. But, he did.
“Then we can hang at your place?” Tae unlocked the doors, sitting on the driver’s seat before turning the key, the somewhat crappy engine starting to run.
Jungkook slumped down in the passenger seat, closing the door with a loud thud. He looks over at Taehyung's face once more, and without thinking his hand reaches out for the elder, as if he wanted to graze his chin with the pads of his fingers,
“Sounds good to me, I really need to patch you up...”
As there were still students around, the sweet gesture Jungkook was offering had the elder turn his head away without thinking, causing kooks hand to stop mid air. He let his hand fall back into his lap, thinking maybe it was too painful for kook to touch him.
“I still don’t get how that even happened?”
“I told you.. I fell.”
Taehyung turned his head back to Jungkook, knowing his excuse was far from believable. But, he had to say something.
And in his mind, something was better than nothing.
He knew he needed to confide in Jungkook some more, but it was hard when Tae couldn’t really admit that to himself. He didn’t want to believe that his only parental figure was an alcoholic, that he didn’t give a shit about him..
It hurt to think of it, much less voice it out loud. Maybe when he, himself, comes to terms with the fact that he basically has no family left, then Taehyung will open up to Jungkook.
Someday..
Not saying another word, Tae drove off to the nearby store.
Like a lost puppy, he followed behind Jungkook, not having any clue where anything was.
“What is it that you need?” The elder asked, letting Kook do his thing while he stayed close, much like a little kid at a store.
Jungkook made his way through the shopping isles, filling up the little basket in his hand with anything from med supplies to some food. He’s been saving up, and he finally could treat himself a little bit.
Well.. he really wanted to treat Taehyung. For dinner. That he’d cook.
Hopefully that wouldn’t be too cheesy.
It wouldn’t be anything too complicated, a simple dinner of rice(the nicer kind!~), meat (a luxury in kooks household), and some sides. Just the thought had kooks mouth watering.
“I’ll patch you up and feed you, is the plan. Sound good?” Kook flashed Taehyung a wide smile, but as soon as his eyes shifted focus on the statures moving further away behind the elder, the same frozen expression from earlier adorned Jungkooks face.
Just, this time, it wasn’t Ash, It was worse.
His parents.
He almost drops his basket, clutching into it before it would slip from his fingers, eyes widening as panic strikes— he needed to get the fuck out.
But all he could do, was to turn his back against them, head hanging low as he struggled to breathe.
Fuck, he hasn’t had an anxiety attack in so long. Why did it have to happen now?
“Yeah, sounds gre— Jungkook?” Taehyung didn’t waste a second before dropping the huge bag of chocolates that he was looking at, settling his hands on the boy’s shoulders as he craned his neck to meet Jungkook’s eye.
“Hey.. what’s wrong?”
Tae’s brows furrowed, worried from the sudden change of attitude.
The younger looked terrified.
“Baby, look at me.” Taehyung whispered so that only Jungkook could hear, gently tilting his chin up with his index finger, “Kook, you’re scaring me.”
The elder wasn’t aware of the pair of strangers behind Jungkook, his only focus being on his boyfriend, as it should be during a time like this one. Tae’s never seen Kook act this way.
Shallow, quick breaths were heaving from Jungkook's chest, his eyes glossed over and blown wide as he stared into Taehyung's eyes. He couldn't get the words out of him even if he tried-- screaming inside of his head to say something.
"Jeon?" A deep voice vibrated a few steps behind Taehyung, the clicking of the man's shoes indicating that he's coming closer.
Jungkooks body was almost shaking at this point, but as soon as his father's voice reached his ears, he stopped. Instead, that face was replaced with a stern expression, jaw clenching as he refused to meet the man's eye.
"Father."
Taehyung didn’t know what to do other than watch the whole thing unfold from the sidelines. 
He stared at the man ahead of them, remembering one of the most shocking words Jungkook had admitted to him the day he took him in. Honestly, with the strong hangover he had, Tae was surprised he still remembered.
But this wasn’t something he could just.. forget. This was huge. Kook’s parents threw him out, for fucks sake. And all because of him..
“Hey.. Jungkook, maybe we should go.” The elder gently tried tugging on the boy’s arm, keeping an eye on his father.
He didn’t want this situation to worsen, it was already uncomfortable enough.
“What, are you not going to greet your own father?” The man stepped closer, a growing frown on his face. He hadn’t seen his son in months, and had honestly hoped that he’d come crawling back to them. But he never did.
Jungkook didn’t say anything, but he could feel the fury build in his body, his biceps clenching as he curled his hands into tight fists.
“And who’s this?” The man clicked his tongue at the sight of taehyung, a small hint of recognition in his eyes, “Ah...” his eyes returned to his son with a mocking grin, “I see. You still haven’t grown up, hm?”
“You know what?” Kook hissed through his teeth, “Go. Fuck. Yourself.” Any moment,, if he wasn’t held by taehyung, he swears he’d end up throwing hands.
The moment the man’s devilish eyes landed on him, Taehyung had trouble staying unbothered. The words that followed after surely weren’t of any help, and Tae wanted to punch that mocking grin off the man’s face.
But, Jungkook’s father wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth their patience, nor the commotion.
“Jungkook, let’s go,” Taehyung said more sternly, “He’s not worth our time.”
The elder glared at the man, his grip tightening on Kook’s arm, as if he was afraid that he’d slip away from his hold. His eyes soon landed on Kook’s mother, noticing how she was keeping her distance from the chaos.
‘Pathetic.’ Was all Taehyung could think, internally judging her for keeping quiet in a public place, when she had no trouble screaming at Jungkook inside of the house.
Jungkook eyes flickered towards his passive mother, his expression mixed. He loved his mother— far more than his father. And he knows she loves him, she was there for him. But she’s too devoted to her husband to have a voice of her own, and it hurt their relationship more than anything.
“Yeah..” kook sighed, his heart beating so hard it could burst any moment from the mix of emotions he’s going through. He didn’t relax in Taehyung's hold, but it did help him feel grounded. Collecting himself, his hand moves to wrap around Taehyung's arm, while the other is still holding the shopping basket.
He had nothing else to say to his father, keeping his eyes on his mother as he pulled his boyfriend close with him to head towards the cashier to get what he needed, leaving behind the two people who told him he’d never make it on his own— that nobody would ever want him.
They were wrong. And that’s the biggest victory of them all.
His father was dumbfounded, frowning as he watched his son leave with the very boy he deemed at fault for his sons...difference. He had nothing else to say right now. He’d wait for him to crawl back when his heart was broken and needed money.
He’s sure of it.
Once they stepped back in the safety of his car, that’s when Taehyung turned to look at Jungkook, his vision no longer set on glaring at the boy’s father,
“Are you alright..?” He asked, not really knowing how to confront someone in a situation like this one. It was messy, “He’s a fucking ass, Kook. They don’t deserve you, it’s their loss.”
Taehyung stated, gaze laced with worry as he waited for some sort of reaction, anything to let him know that Jungkook was here with him/, not hung up in the store with his father. Tae knew it wasn’t that easy, though.
He pursed his lips, moving his hand to rest on top of Kook’s, thumb caressing over the skin.
“Come on, let’s go home.”
Taehyung said ‘home’ as if he lived there as well, not fully aware of his own phrasing yet as he started the car.
As it turned out, Jungkook and him did share one common item: Shitty fathers.
Jungkook felt numbed, his head racing to process the situation. His body had gone through probably every single emotion he was possible of having throughout the span of ten minutes.
He glanced over at taehyung when he started the car, focusing entirely on the features of his boyfriend. He was just... everything.
Home? As if all his anxieties were slowly washed away, they were replaced with warmth. 
Jungkook wouldn’t stop looking at the elder, leaning back into his seat with a content smile pulling on his lips, arms crossed over his chest.
“I’m glad that I have you.”
“Okay, this is no excuse for you to be so corny.” Taehyung scrunched up his face in displeasure, acting like he didn’t enjoy Jungkook’s sweet words.
He prayed that the tint of pink dusted over his cheeks didn’t give his obvious acting away, but, his smile surely did.
“I’m..” The elder chuckled, softly squeezing Kook’s thigh. “I’m glad that I have you, too..”
God, Taehyung wished he would have kissed him right there, but he held back. 
It was okay, he’d have plenty of opportunities to kiss Jungkook tonight.
With one last cheeky grin shot at him, Tae drove off to the younger’s apartment, happy that they were out of there once and for all.
Jungkook went back to his old self within the span of the drive home, feeling giddy from Taehyung's words. Never did he ever imagine for this to be his reality. 
But he sure was grateful for it.
As they got out of the car, kook unlocked the door and stepped inside with the elder, making his way to the kitchen to unpack all the groceries on the counter, “Go sit down and I’ll take a look at your face” he glanced over his shoulder as he grabbed the med supplies, “Then I hope you’re hungry,we’re eating good tonight!”
Taehyung did as Jungkook told, plopping down on the couch when— “Fuck..”
For a mere moment, he forgot he was a little sore.
Fuck you, Jeon Jungkook.
With a small grimace, Tae situated himself a little more comfortably, patiently waiting for Kook to join him as he mumbled sour curses under his breath.
“We’re eating out tonight?” Taehyung cocked a brow, looking up at the younger, watching the boy’s every move from his spot on the couch, “I’ll pay.” The elder offered, knowing he had some leftover money left. 
Since Jungkook was his boyfriend and all, Tae wanted to help him. With rent, food, whatever it may be.
Jungkook strolled over with a wide smile before he sat down next to Taehyung, putting the supplies in his lap as he turned his body towards the elders.
“Nope, I’m cooking.” He was excited, raising his eyebrows in a playful manner. Kook loves to cook, and he’s rather decent at it. He just hasn’t been able to show it off because- well, money. 
And he’s never had anybody to cook for.
“Look at me.” He murmurs as he scoots closer, brushing Taehyung's fringe off his face before leaning in to examine the cuts in his skin, “the one on your cheek is deeper than I thought...” he pouted, grabbing a disinfectant pad, “It’ll definitely sting.”
As if it was a natural reaction, Taehyung raised both brows. His mouth went ajar, wondering if he’d heard right.
“You cook?” He questioned, his expression gradually reverting back to normal. Never in a million years did he think that Jungkook would be making him a meal— let alone cook.
Tae was enjoying learning new things about the boy, and he was excited to get a taste of the food.
“You’re pretty, handsome, cute, and talented. What can’t you do, hm?” Taehyung teased, wanting to praise his boyfriend.
Looking at him, Tae slightly tilted his head to the side to give Jungkook a better view of the cut.
He wasn’t looking forward to the stinging part, knowing he was a baby when it came to such things.
“Hey, thanks for taking care of me.” The elder mumbled, trying to stall him. But a bigger part of him truly meant it, and what better occasion to tell Kook rather than now?
''I'm good at everything.'' Jungkook smiled with a spark of mischief in his eyes, but giddy over the praise nonetheless.
He used one hand to gently hold Tae's chin between his fingers, as to hold him in place when he used his other hand to carefully pat the wound, knowing it's gonna sting badly. Kook hisses sympathetically, as if he could also feel the pain when he feels the elder twitching underneath his touch, ''I'll always take care of you, but... I'd prefer if this didn't become a regular thing-- You being wounded, I mean..'''
Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth together, gripping onto Jungkook’s thigh to keep himself grounded.
“Fuck..” The elder hissed along with Kook, wanting the initial discomfort to be over immediately. His face was scrunched up into a frown, but slowly, the strong nip began to fade away. 
The muscles on his face soon relaxed, and so did the grasp on the younger boy.
“It won’t become a regular thing.” Taehyung reassured, bringing up his index finger to feel at the cut on his caramel skin, wincing slightly.
Jungkook finished cleaning his boyfriend's wounds, putting the medkit to the side before shuffling closer to the man, softly cupping his jaw to draw him in for a kiss. Nothing feverish about it, just a soft, slow press of his plush lips onto his, humming in content when he feels the warmth.
He withdraws to look at Taehyung, a small smile pulling on his lips,
''Good. I like your face, so I'd like for it to be bruise-free... Now, are you hungry? I'll start cooking.''
The elder happily gave in to the soft kiss, smiling in the midst of it. 
When Jungkook pulls away, Tae’s eyes are still drawn to his lips, licking over his own at the inviting sight. The elder leaned back into the couch, shyly grinning from ear to ear, east to west. He felt much better, lighter, too.
“I’m always hungry!” Taehyung shouted, excitement obvious in his low voice. The latter couldn’t wait to spend a calming evening with Jungkook, eating delicious food (At least gets hoped..), cuddling— maybe watch some TV?
It all sounded like something he’s craving for god knows how long.
“You need any help?”
''You just need to look pretty and keep me company,'' Jungkook chuckled, getting up from the couch. He wanted to do everything, and give Taehyung a chance to just relax--- And he /really/ wanted to do it perfectly for him to eat.
Kook smoothed the pads of his fingers across Tae's jaw in an affectionate manner before turning to walk into the kitchen to prepare a cutting board, shuffling through his drawers for that one knife he likes to use, ''And I don't want you to accidentally cut yourself, you're clumsy!''
“I’m not clumsy.” Taehyung childishly fought back, pushing himself up from the couch before walking over to Jungkook, wrapping his toned arms around the boy’s waist.
“What are you making?” He questioned, chin resting atop Kook’s shoulder whilst he looked down at the different veggies on the cutting board, eyes studying the way Jungkook carefully handled the knife.
Yeah, maybe he was right. Tae would cut himself, he could be a bit lost at times.. and clumsy.
''Ground beef vegetables stir fry, I've been craving it all fucking day..'' Jungkook already felt his mouth watering at the thought, skillfully chopping up the vegetables before he put them momentarily to the side, grabbing the meat to put it in the sizzling pan, all while having his boyfriend sweetly embracing him. 
This was nice. really nice. Jungkook could get  used to this. In reality, he probably already was, he couldnt imagine being without the elder at this point...
''I'll make a lot, so we will definitely end up in a food coma tonight.''
While everything is finally blended together in the pan, he slowly stirs the food, the aroma of the delicious food filling the room.
''It's almost done, so you could go and pick a movie if you'd like? I have a few dvd's by the tv''
Untangling his arms from around Jungkook’s figure, Tae waltzed over to the TV, crouching down to examine the list of DVD’s that ranged from comedy, action, adventure, fantasy— anime.
Yet another thing Taehyung didn’t know about the younger..
He was a fucking weeb.
He couldn’t help but chuckle, fingers brushing over the plastic, trying to see if a cover caught his attention.
“You like anime.” Taehyung asked, but it sounded more like a statement than anything. 
“Spirited Away? What’s that?” The elder flipped the package over, eyes quickly skimming over the movie description, trying to make sense of what it's about.
“Spirited Away it is.” 
Tae decided, crashing down on the couch with his arms outstretched along the backrest.
Truth be told, he didn’t care about the movie. He just wanted to spend time with Jungkook.
Jungkook hummed a quiet song as he prepared two generous bowls of the finished stir fry, proudly decorating the dish with the colourful garnished vegetables. He always was quite the perfectionist, whether he knew tae would simply gulp it down in an instant or not.
He grabs the two bowls and carries them out to the living room, a beaming smile on his face as he finds the very man that will be the tester of his cooking,
''Did you find a movie? Hurry, hurry, sit down!''
“I am, I am!” Taehyung laughed, his boxy grin on full display as he made room for Kook on the couch, carefully reaching for one of the nicely decorated bowls.
The smell.. if it tasted the way it smelled, Tae was sure he would love it. 
The elder brought the bowl down after sniffing it, picking up a spoonful of the food before shoving it into his mouth. His cheeks were puffed out whilst he chewed thoroughly, humming in delight.
“I like it!” Taehyung smiled through a mouthful, giving Jungkook a thumbs-up for accentuation. It’s been a while since he’s had a nice home cooked meal. It made him feel warm, “I thought it would taste like shit but..” He laughed, eyes crinkling. “I’m kidding~” The elder took it back, pecking Jungkook on the lips after his first bite.
“I like it a lot.” After Taehyung repeated himself, he held up the DVD in front of Kook’s face, “Spirited Away.”
Jungkook was vibrating with joy at the praise, his cheeks flushed at how fucking /cute/ Taehyung could be. It irked a part of JK that was severely less innocent than he usually is.
His doe eyes blinked two, three times as he stared at the DVD cover, grasping it into his own hands, 
''You like anime?'' Kook looks up at the elder, ''This is a really good movie~'' He chimed, moving so close to taehyung that their sides were pressed together. He was excited, this movie is his favourite-- And food, and .. Taehyung.
He wishes this night would just go on forever.
“First time I’ve ever heard of it. Spirited Away, I mean.” Taehyung shrugged, blowing off the steam on his spoonful of rice before stuffing it into his mouth. The elder learned from his mistake; the previous bite nearly burnt his tongue off.
Tae let out a content moan, finding Jungkook’s cooking to be delicious. It definitely beat frozen pizza any day.
He would love to have this sort of meal on a daily basis, but Taehyung was aware of how lacking he was in the cooking department.
After he fumbled with the DVD player, the beginning music was his cue to join Jungkook back on the couch, bowl of food situated on his lap whilst he ate, gaze flickering back and forth between the bright screen and the dish. 
Sometimes, Taehyung would be so into the movie that he’d spill a few grains of rice. And much like a little kid getting caught red-handed, he would look back at Jungkook and hope that he didn’t see a thing.
Halfway through, and the elder’s bowl was squeaky clean, not a single trace of food was left behind. Taehyung was full and entertained, what more could he want?
Surprisingly, he did want something else though.. answers, to be exact. He still couldn’t forget about what happened in the store, quite frankly, Tae’s been thinking about it ever since it happened.
He just wanted to make sure Jungkook was really okay.
The younger had an anxiety attack, it wasn’t just something Tae could brush off..
“Hey, Kook?” The boy turned to look at him, treading carefully with his words, “About what happened earlier.. with your dad, how do you feel?— I mean, are you fine? I know it must’ve been a lot.”
Taehyung mumbled, fidgeting with his fingers.
“When was it that you got thrown out..? Since when have you been living on your own.”
Jungkook placed his empty bowl away and repositioned himself on the couch, knees pulled up close to his body as if he's hugging himself. He turned his head slowly towards Taehyung, a little surprised by the sudden question.
"Hm... I'm okay." He smiled vaguely to prove his point, a small head tilt following,
"Just a couple months." It was more than a couple months, "almost the entire semester? I don't remember... since I joined the team." Kook shrugged, his expression turning sadder,
"It's been... tough." His eyes flickered between the bright tv screen and back to his boyfriend, "But I'm okay now. It was worth it... I just.. seeing them again was like-- everything just came back to me like a fucking wave."
Taehyung acknowledged the younger’s answer with a faint nod of his head, letting Jungkook know that he was listening to his each and every word. Letting him know that he could confide in him— that he was there.
That’s what boyfriends do, right? 
“Your dad’s an asshole..” Taehyung spat, angry that Jungkook had to go through any of that. He couldn’t help but feel like it was his fault— Kook caught feelings, and he made the mistake of trusting his parents.
The elder turned his body to face him, scooting closer.
His attention was no longer on the movie, simply allowing it to be background noise whilst they spoke. Jungkook’s ‘DVD’ about his hardships in life interested Taehyung far more.
“Your mom didn’t take a part of it; she was quiet.” He paused, “Is she like your dad?”
If Jungkooks expression wasn’t sad enough yet, it surely was now. He can handle the topic of his father far better than about his mother—she’s just... well, she’s mom,
“No, she’s... she’s a great mom.” Kook sighed, his shoulders sagging, “She just...chose her husband first when it came down to it.” He shrugged again, “Always did. When it was just the two of us, she was the best mom.. but when he’s around, it’s like I don’t exist.”
The thought in itself had Jungkook eyes glassy with tears threatening to fall to his cheeks any moment. He takes a deep, shaky breath to calm down, but his next words broke him,
“I just wish she—“ his voice breaks into a sob, “ah—fuck...”
Frustration grew into his sadness, biting his lower lip to prevent it from trembling.
It pained Taehyung to see Jungkook like this, so he immediately engulfed the younger in a warm embrace. With Kook’s face pressed up against his chest, the elder’s hand gently smoothed over the boy’s hair, occasionally running his fingers through the loose curls.
“Hey, it’s okay..” Taehyung’s voice was muffled against the side of Jungkook’s head, not pulling away before pressing a chaste kiss on the spot.
When he finally looked into Kook’s glassy eyes, Tae wiped the stray tears away with the pad of his thumb. He didn’t want to see Jungkook cry anymore.
Jungkook breathed in a sniffle, nodding once as he blinked, forcing the remaining tears out of his eye to trickle down to Taehyung's thumbs,
''I'm okay...'' He smiled through the tears, his own hands wrapping around the elder to pull him in for a hug. He really needed it, and the warmth of tae's body was comforting, leaning his face into the crook of his boyfriends neck,
''Because I have you.''
Taehyung swore his world had come to a halt, chuckling softly at Jungkook’s words whilst he rubbed his back, feeling the wetness of Kook’s tears temporarily staining his skin.
“So cheesy..” Tae quietly breathed out, nevertheless burying his nose against Jungkook’s fluffy hair, letting him know that the feeling was mutual even if he didn’t say anything. 
Taehyung was not the most open person, but for Kook, he’ll try to be. The younger had just opened up to him about his past, it was only fair that he did the same.
Tae wouldn’t say everything, but, just enough to let Jungkook know that he wasn’t alone.
“My dad is a drunk.”
Just admitting that out loud.. it was a big step for Taehyung.
He didn’t want to admit that someone he cared for was partaking in something so self-destructing, but it was the truth. It was about time he came to terms with reality.
“He doesn’t like to admit it but, he is.”
Taehyung gulped, jaw clenching.
“After my.. uh..” He had to take a small pause, trying to desperately fumble with his thoughts so they made sense, “After my mom died, he became worse.”
The elder’s mind immediately traveled back to the beating, the constant cursing.. the /yelling/.
Taehyung didn’t know how much he needed to let those demons out until now, in Jungkook’s embrace.
Jungkook's breathing stopped momentarily, processing the information he just heard. For a bit, he remained simply silent, keeping his arms around the elder. Slowly, the embrace tightened further in comfort, nuzzling his nose against Tae's neck,
''It's not your fault.'' He whispered out the words carefully, his hand rubbing circles over Taehyung's back. They both needed this, and they both had each other. Together, they could be stronger, ''I'm sorry...'' He's sorry that Tae had hardships like this on his own, and he was sorry that he couldn't change his reality.
However, he knew one thing for certain;
Taehyung wouldn't have to go through this alone, just like Kook wouldn't ever have to worry about anything, because he had his one strength embracing him already.
“No, don’t be sorry.” Taehyung weakly assured, drowning in the younger’s touch, his own hands losing the steady momentum they once had. Instead, they gripped at the fabric of Jungkook’s shirt, Tae inhaling the younger’s scent as a way to obtain some closure.
Jungkook made him feel comfortable— he made Taehyung’s skeletons easier to reveal.
“Every time I’m with him.. I just, I’m scared, Kook.” He squeezed his eyes shut, fingers digging deeper into Jungkook’s back.
“Every time I’m with him, it makes me miss my mom even more.”
The elder’s hands relaxed, nestling his nose on the younger’s shoulder. He had a strong urge to cry, but he wouldn’t allow himself to.
Taehyung was already vulnerable enough, ‘“She would’ve loved you, you know.”
Jungkook felt torn between his growing anger towards Taehyung's father and the sadness of the long lost mother. Their lives were so different, their families so different--- yet it wasn't different at all.
They were both hurting. They were both treated unfairly.
He pulled back to look at his boyfriend, a small smile shining through his still glassy eyes, ''Yeah?'' His lower lip trembled at the thought-- being loved by taehyung's mother? He wishes he could say the same about his own. Maybe one day.
''Taehyung,'' He whispered as he leaned in closer, his hands moving up to gently cup his face, guiding the elders face so closer to his own that their lips were grazing as he spoke in words so quiet it was barely audible, scared to sound it out properly-- But unable to keep it hidden any longer, ''I love you.''
The elder nodded, mirroring Jungkook’s look of happiness.
Last he remembered, his mother was very open minded. 
When little Taehyung was about to begin Preschool, he was obsessed with ‘My Little Pony.’ So much so that he begged his parents to get him a backpack with the familiar characters on it. 
Heck, it had Rainbow Dash in the front; it was the best backpack in Taehyung’s big, sparkling eyes!
After a lot of begging, his father refused. Instead, the man held out another backpack with the ‘Hulk’ on it. It didn’t matter what his son preferred. It was green, not pink.
That same night Taehyung couldn’t sleep. His parents were fighting again, making Tae bring up his small hands to his ears.
He flinched under his covers at the sound of furniture being tossed around, followed by more yelling.
His papa could get very angry at times..
Long story short, the next day his mother surprised him with the backpack. She wore a dark bruise on her wrist, but Taehyung was too excited to notice.
At the age of four, that backpack was Tae’s greatest possession. He wouldn’t go anywhere without it.
It was too pretty not to show off.
Subconsciously smiling at the memory, Taehyung shook himself out of it, meeting Jungkook’s eye.
“Hm.” The elder hummed, waiting for Kook to spit it out, nuzzling his nose against the other’s as he waited.
God, he wanted to kiss him. Hard.
Then, pushing all of his longing to the side, Taehyung’s eyes went wide. 
His lips were slightly agape, as if he couldn’t believe his ears. No, he definitely heard wrong.. Right?
“You— you love me..?” Tae questioned, frozen in his place.
He didn’t know what to say, he was at a loss for words.
The elder’s heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest, hands clammy and mouth dry.
Taehyung hadn’t heard that phrase in a while, it was a little overwhelming.
Jungkook nods, withdrawing himself a little to get a proper look of Taehyung's reaction. He seemed shocked— frozen. Maybe it was too much. Maybe Jungkook shouldn’t have said that.. anxiety in the form of a heavy weight in his gut appeared, his own eyes flickering between Taehyungs, obvious growing panic. 
Fuck, he should’ve stayed quiet. Maybe this was not at all something tae wanted to hear.
“I... sorry...” it’d just slipped out, and he meant it. But now, he felt scared to have opened himself up this much. What If this scared the elder off?
But he couldn’t lie..
“Yeah.” He whispered weakly, and the vulnerability in his voice was apparent, feeling his heart beat harder and harder until it almost hurt underneath his rib cage.
Kook averted the elders eyes, quickly looking down in his lap as he could basically hear his heartbeat drumming in his ears.
Taehyung wasn’t stupid; he was aware that when two people date, there’s romantic feelings involved but.. love. That’s not just any feeling, it came with a price.
Jungkook loves him. He couldn’t fully process it.
Did the younger interpret the word in the same way? Because to Taehyung, loving someone is to admit that the other person completes you in every way, that they’re the reason that some mornings shine brighter than others— It’s equivalent to the love you have for your favorite videogame, plus a thousand. It’s equal to a lifetime supply of strawberry milkshakes from McDonald’s, because lord knows how much Taehyung loves those. 
To him, that’s love. 
Is that how Jungkook felt..?
Breaking the distance between them, now it was Tae’s turn to sandwich the boy’s face in between his hands, gazing into his doe eyes.
“Thank you for opening up to me,” he whispered, not wishing to make things uncomfortable.
This was the best night he’s had in awhile, Tae didn’t want to ruin it.
Slowly, Taehyung’s lips clashed against Jungkook’s in a soft kiss, taking his time with it this time around, “You taste like vegetable stir fry.” The elder breathily chuckled after withdrawing from the kiss, thumb brushing over Kook’s rosy bottom lip before placing one last peck on it.
“Are you tired?”
Jungkook's eyes widened and softened within moments, his anxiety washed away with the simple gesture of the kiss.
He wasn't rejected, but the words weren't repricocated either. And that's /okay/, he did expect too much too quickly, Taehyung had, after all opened himself up more the past week than he's had in years.
Kook smiled at the comment about his foodie-breath, nodding vaguely at the question,
"Yeah, it's been a long day..." he melted into taes soft touches, feeling his body relax once more, "Do you want to... stay?"
He offered the elder to stay the night, itd be the first time since he'd spent the night, and leaving the very next morning. 
This time he hoped that he'd be able to wake up next to him instead.
"I...you can, if you'd like... I want you to."
“Yeah,” A lopsided smile pulled at the corner of Taehyung’s lips, who was comforted by Jungkook’s calm demeanor, “I’ll stay, but I gotta warn you.. I snore.” 
Taehyung forced himself up from the couch, walking over to the sink to rinse his plate.
He felt lighter, like there wasn’t an excruciating weight on his shoulders sagging him down any longer, like the build-up in his chest had vanished.
The elder might’ve not opened up completely in terms of how he got his recent bruises.. but, someday. Someday he’ll tell Jungkook all of it. But, tonight, it felt like a good start.
Jungkook followed into the kitchen like a puppy, rinsing his plate quickly after taehyung is finished, "That's okay, I kickbox in my sleep." He joked, letting his hand stroke along taes back as he passed him on his way back to the living room, turning off the tv. They'd have to pick up and rewatch the movie on another occasion.
Jungkook strolled over to his bedroom, automatically pulling his shirt over his head out of habit, "I'm ready, I demand a proper cuddle-up!"
The elder scoffed, taking off his shirt as well as his pants, leaving himself in just his boxers.
It was more comfortable that way.
“So you’re a kicker and a little bossy. Unbelievable.” Nonetheless, Taehyung wrapped one arm around Jungkook’s shoulders, drawing him closer after pulling the blanket up to their naked chests.
Tae could feel his feet brush against the younger’s from under the cover, legs practically tangled together whilst they stayed in each other’s arms.
Jungkook chuckles breathily, cuddling up close and positioning himself so that he could press his cheek against Taehyung's chest, one leg and arm tangled on top over the male. He melted into the elders body, softly exhaling a content sigh as he was able to listen to the rhythm of Taehyung's heartbeat, slowly calming down with every passing second.
He could stay like this forever-- he was certain of it. 
Sleep came quicker than he expected, the warmth of safety and love giving him a sense of peace he's never been able to experience since he was a child, when his mother used to hold him to sleep.
After minutes of Taehyung’s eyelids struggling to make up their mind, they eventually fluttered close, pulling the elder into dreamland.
That night, Taehyung slept like a baby. 
His worries were left outside Jungkook’s front door, neglected and alone.
For the first time, he was at peace; holding Jungkook tight.
The only thing that was far from peaceful was Tae’s loud snoring. 
Hell, if it was one pitch higher, it might’ve actually been enough to serve as an alarm for the entire apartment complex.
It was an endearing (noisy) quirk of his, but that was Kim Taehyung.
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