#the rest is up to the artists and im never disappointed

[givemethedamnflowers]

As a fandom we read aftg and collectively thought "andrew has piercings" like 90% of fanart i see he has at the very minimum 3/4 earrings

And i just love that for us

[persephoneflouwers]

Anons ✨

[bitterbutblue]

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night!

Are you still requesting? If so, do you mind if I request Robin from Honkai Star Rail. Like those kind of tropes Idol x paparazzi, thank you!

nothing just head filled with robin

guess~ ☆ robin x fem!reader

~ hi anon!! tysm for requesting i am still taking requests just replying at a slow ass rate i apologise!!! i loveeee robin omg but not the biggest fan of paparazzi.. ive made reader her bodyguard instead :]

guys uni makes me want to END IT jokes i have a huge crush on someone andits so over for me.... im SO sick of it all (im not im dramatic as fuck)

tw VERY suggestive!! they speedrun sex with no actual descriptions of it!

song: guess by charli xcx ft billie eilish ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

"Again?"

The frustrated groan has you looking up from your phone, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Everything alright?"

Robin's shoulders relax when she sees you, sighing as puts her own phone down, taking a glass of SoulGlad and sipping it quietly. The makeup artists move back as you approach her, you shoot a smile to the one to her left... what was her name? Emily?

"They're rescheduling my fan greeting for some interview, it's so- ugh!"

Robin puts the glass down on the table as she crosses her arms in annoyance, a pout on her face. You can't stop the small smile that creeps onto your face as you plop onto the chair next to her. You won't deny that you two have a much closer relationship than most bodyguards and celebrities do but she was the one who approached you first. You would've never wanted to cross her boundaries, what mattered to you most was her wellbeing. But she had always been so sweet to you, offering to buy you drinks when she gets one and asking you how you are or how your day went.

No celebrity you've worked with has ever treated you like this before and the fact that she was the most stunning woman to grace the entire galaxy is not helping you very much.

"Should I approach management?" You suggest, propping your head up as you rest your elbow against the table. You miss the way Robin's eyes quickly dart down and up again, eyeing you with a darker look in her eyes as she bites her lip gently.

"It's fine. I am just worried about upsetting the fans." She smiles, brushing away any previous thoughts she had as she moves her chair closer to yours. "They mean the world to me, and I'd hate to disappoint them. It's tiring- just always thinking about... fuck."

You catch the worried look in her eyes she tries to mask all the time as to not worry others. You always catch onto these small things that perhaps someone with your relationship to her shouldn't be catching but you couldn't help it. You couldn't help the way your chest feels like it's caving in whenever she puts her hand on your shoulder, or the way your heart leaps when she holds onto your arm when the paparazzi or interviewers become too much for her.

"Speaking to management would help, really. It's not fair to cancel the event for whatever publicity stunt they think is more important." You shrug

Robin hums, as if lost in thought. The room had become awfully quiet and you just noticed that everyone had already left, leaving just the two of you alone in the large make-up room. Robin looks up at you again, a softer smile on her face now and you feel your face grow warm.

"Thank you."

"No worries."

Silence always follows such conversations, it is inevitable but you hate it because your thoughts begin to wander and she becomes all you can think about.

"Do you think that life would be easier if we weren't living like this?"

You shoot her a questioning look, tilting your head to the side in confusion.

"What do you mean? Do you not... enjoy this lifestyle?"

Robin hesitates, a flurry of emotions on her face that you can't quite decipher as she takes another sip of SoulGlad.

"I do." She finally says, slowly, as if she is choosing her words "I just sometimes regret what I can't do."

You just laugh.

"You can do anything in this world, Robin. What can't you do?"

She turns her gaze from the amber liquid in her wine glass to you, and the room temperature seems to rise dramatically as you take in the gaze in her eyes. Darker than usual, lips parted slightly as her eyes dart down to your-

She stands up, smoothing out her dress as she offers you her hand.

"Let's take a walk."

Either way, you had to follow her wherever she went so you just scrambled to your feet, adjusting the black collared shirt you have on. She grabs your hand and you had to physically tell yourself to calm down or else you were actually going to combust.

She leads you up a set of staircases, before eventually leading you to the rooftop of the studio. You could only watch in confusion as she sighs with her head tilted back- the now-setting sun still reflecting itself off her face. Each beam of light captures her beauty in a way that a camera could never, reflecting into the day an angel that you've been lucky enough to see.

"I've been thinking a lot recently."

She turns to face you, gesturing for you to move closer. You inch forward, unsure, but she keeps gesturing at you- still unsatisfied. Finally, you find yourself only inches away from her face. You were both similar in height, and up close you could see each crevice in her face and each muscle that tenses as she smiles.

"Robin, we really should-"

"Do you think about me?"

Your eyes widened at her question, heart stuttering to a stop as she looks straight into your eyes. Her gaze is unwavering, communicating to you something you don't quite fully understand.

"What?"

"Do you think about me? If we were different people-" she steps closer to you, and you body tense as she rests a hand on your chest, right in the centre. You know she can feel how fast and hard your heart beats against your ribcage and you know she knows because of the smile that grows wider on her face.

"I think about you."

She whispers, trailing her hand down so that it rests against the waistband of your pants now and you have to physically stop yourself from shuddering under her touch.

"I think about how perhaps we could be more if it weren't for... us now." She says quietly, tracing the her finger around the area right above your belt and you bite back a strangled sound that is way too embarrassing to be let out.

She just chuckles.

"What are you implying?" You say, swallowing because your throat was seriously feeling way too dry.

"You know what I'm implying." Robin sighs "I asked you, do you think life would be easier if we weren't living like this? Because I've been thinking about it so much. What if we were just two people? What if we just run into each other on the streets one day, and we could fall in love without the gaze of the galaxy upon us."

"What a fast assumption, Robin. Thinking I’d fall for you.” You raised an eyebrow teasingly, but you know how shaky your voice is. You also know you’d fall for her in every fucking universe.

"I feel like I'm stating more of a fact." She whispers as she moves up to touch your tie, before tugging it slightly. You yelp as you stumble forward, catching yourself before you fell on top of her. The proximity between you two had your face flushing brick red. Her lips only centimetres away, and her eyes dart down to yours as she licks her lips. You can feel her breath against your lips, the feathers of her wings brush against your cheeks.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes."

That came out much quicker and much more desperately than you wished it would and Robin just giggles. The moment her lips press against yours, your eyes flutter shut. Her hand on your tie tightens its grip, pulling you even closer. Your hands move up, cupping her face gently as she circles her arms around your waist.

"Ah, Robin-"

She had pulled away from the kiss, moving to her lips to pepper kisses against your jawline before kissing your neck.

"Shush, no one's here. Just enjoy the moment with me?"

You whine softly as she gently backs you against the wall, hands trailing down as she moves her hands down to the waistband of your pants once more, quickly unbuckling your belt. You throw your head back, gasping as the stars in all the planets shine in the sky above, your heart is beating secrets to you that you wouldn't hear with anyone else. Your head is spinning- wild and frantic as you try to regain any sense of balance but the way she has you wrapped around her finger���

You lean against Robin, panting as your head rests against her shoulders, coming down from an intense high. She hums softly, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

"Was that okay?"

"Perfect." You whisper breathlessly as you catch your breath, face flushed and body trembling. "We should get back to-"

"No." Robin frowns, and you look up to look her in the eyes.

"What?"

"I wanna stay like this with you." She whispers, her eyes filled with this look like the night sky when the moon is full and the skies are clear. Sparkling, bright, warm.

Maybe the next decision you made was a terrible mistake that you might regret for the next of your life, but in the moment it was all you could think about.

"I quit."

"What?"

Her eyes widened.

"I quit. I step down from being your head bodyguard." You said in a rush, breathless and eager as your heart pounds frantically in your chest. "I- let me be yours."

Robin bites her lower lip, shaking her head.

"That's ridiculous-"

"It's unprofessional for me to love you like this."

"You can't just quit!"

"I can and I just did."

"You're ridiculous."

"Seriously?"

"You're so-"

"Shut up."

Robin gasps when you pull her into another kiss, this time much softer and warmer. Previous fiery passion all gone, replaced with nothing but pure love- pure feelings and nothing else.

"What will you do then?"

Robin whispers, leaning her forehead against yours.

You just smile.

"Whatever the world throws at me as long as you're by my side."

She shakes her head, eyes widening at the absurdity of the situation.

"You're literally not thinking about this, do you understand how serious this decision is?"

"Yeah. Don't care. I can always get another job. I'm tired of all this anyways." You sigh "I want a life with you. If being your bodyguards means I can't have that life, then I'll retire from being a bodyguard. Do you need a new manager?"

Robin throws her head back, the sound of laughter is like a melody from her song.

"You're ridiculous." She says again, now with a soft smile

"You love it. Round 2?"

"Oh my god, later!"

"That's not a no..."

[metalheads-trash-bin]

Bro was watching with their eyes closed if you can truly saying there was no lore or horror.

Im a writer, artist, and creator. I am OBSESSED with horror and lore like elements. Some of my favorite horror movies are Midsommar and Hereditary. I am PICKY about what I like and don’t. But now you get a ramble because you poked the bear.

POPPY PLAYTIME CHAPTER 4 RANT:

Poppy playtime had a lot of factors that were hinted at through trailers and teasers to be significant, for instance with Pianosaurus who had clips of playing notes and attacking you. He had multiple hints and teasers only to end up getting IMMEDIATELY killed as soon as you see him, no notes, no nothing. That was my first serious issue. First character killed off.

Then as you’re playing (Yarnaby was ALSO meant to be significant based on the MANY teasers and clips) Yarnaby is meant to be chasing you around and causing general problems, and he is in some aspects but for the amount of content posted about him you’d think that he’d be as important as Mommy Longlegs. He isn’t’, he chases you a good bit of the game but the most you get lore wise is the fact that he’s been manipulated and groomed by the doctor via notes and recording. Second Character killed off.

As you proceed on you meet Doey, who murks the fuck out of Pianosaurus. Doey had a lot of aspects I liked at first, but they played too intensely into his “wounded soldier” role which makes you feel borderline conditioned to like him. I like the fact that he has some sort of personality disorder which is evident through his emotion blobs inside his monster mouth. I also like how they handled regression vs aggression through his talking points. But his content (the vcrs, the kid clip, notes) were all so violently pointing at him being a bad person that it left little for your own skepticism. Third character killed off.

The doctor should’ve had a lot more lore attached to him as well, i understand why there was a lot of mystery with him but he genuinely didn’t seem like a semi main antagonist and was moreso just another thing to fight. A lot of that has to do with the way the game set itself up, you’re practically fighting back to back to back without any real rest breaks, there’s some forms of wandering and learning but its overall very lackluster. Fourth character killed off.

They killed off FOUR characters in ONE chapter, that goes against so many logically driven game laws. You bring four new characters in and rapid murder them in the same chapter, and a lot of that aspect made it so you couldn’t get emotionally invested into the situation or characters.

Thats just the first segment as to what I disliked. Onto the next.

The lore..ohhh the lore. How you went from something we have barely seen in games to another setup of disappointment. If you know anything about FNAF security breach + Ruin you know where I’m going.

First off, a lot of the VCRS are just dead images this chapter, making you have to sit there and watch in room that have little to interact with as you do so. A way to fix this would’ve been a cassette tape wrist band and cassettes, which is very possible for the prison to have as the area down below is so huge, so people would want to document what they find and see verbally to be written down. Having a cassette wrist band would’ve made it so the character could still wander and also give a better break between chaotic scenes, but instead you were stuck staring at a still image that pertains to a character. It no longer had a fear factor, it was just..there. Alongside this you have all of these toys and characters that are new but no merch for them on the upper levels? Its like they didn’t logistically plan to have the characters they did, as theres a multitude of merch for characters we NEVER SEE. (Daddy longlegs, catbee, stegosaurus, etc.)

Secondly, the creators were bragging on twitter about the amount of lore they dropped and how it’ll give you “a lot to think about”. It doesnt. A majority of what was dropped (for instance Ollie being the prototype) was already rumored as we saw this WITH FNAF RUINS. Fnaf ruins did the mimic route, fnaf in general did the children stuck in mascots route, it also did an evil dude that practically grooms children route. So much of that was already seen, and this chapter focused way too much on that vs the things that are different between them. It was nice to read more about the experimentation process and the fact that they were practically mutants that mixed with kids and toys but that was also rumored. Overall a majority of the lore here was just confirmations.

As for the horror aspect, there genuinely wasn’t one. There’s a HUGE difference between just having gore and bodies everywhere vs genuinely frightening horror. Chapter Three was a masterpiece in this element alongside lore and world building. The way you know youre being stalked, the unsettling scenes and audio, the hallucinations, etc etc. instead of continuing with a more uncanny valley approach they went full on “heres some bodies and guys chasing you” route. Theres bodies everywhere, okay cool. A guy is obviously implied to be crucified which in itself has lore as crucifixion was typically to ask for forgiveness from god, okay cool. But where was the stalking? The seriously traumatic parts? Where was the genuine unsettlingness? It wasnt there, you wandered around helping out characters and getting murked. But you werent SUCKED IN like you were with chapter three, where you felt genuinely stuck and terrified having something follow you around silently, not to mention how graphic the lore and implications were.

It felt messy and jumbled, especially with the world building it was attempting. There was borderline too much and you hung around certain key areas too little, for instance with Safe Haven there genuinely isnt much to do besides look around and proceed. Its in no way interactive and its moreso just a buffer.

The innerworkings of this chapter were very typical, the prison was definitely a surprise but the corruption, abuse, experimentation, etc were not. And the fact that the characters keep saying “this isnt like anything you saw up above” really made you anticipate much more terrifying aspects. Not bodies everywhere. It made the game boring, especially because of all the anticipation the creators gave, saying this was the most adult chapter yet.

There was just..a lot that was disappointing, especially when compared to the previous chapter which had you constantly on edge. I really hope they pick it up a notch in the final chapter, because this was full of false promise. They should’ve continued with the unsettling factor, gore is good but it needs a stable foundation and true meaning. I read all the documents and listened to all the tapes, and the foundation was still very weak and sooo much of it was already thought about or rumored. Everyone knew Ollie was the prototype, everyone knew that they were some sort of living being put into toys, everyone knew that there mustve been some sort of additional assistance to the prototype to keep things going because he is wayyyy too invested in the mc to keep whatever plan he had (which is now known) going.

Another good horror game that got too lazy with its writing.

Next.

[defuckingthrone-dot-com]

DO I WANNA KNOW IF YOURE TOO SWEET?

Summary: Based on the song Too Sweet by Hozier, as well as Do i wanna know? by Arctic Monkeys.

Pairing Jolly x Reader

TW: Oral sex; fingering and bj.

A/N: I took entirely too long for n this one. This has been on my mind for weeks honestly and it got to the point where I felt I was being haunted by Hozier and Jolly. Every time I opened TikTok the first video to show up was always something to do with Hozier and then I would come here and I would only see Jolly content. And fuel was added to the fire when I heard Hozier cover Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys. Honestly this was supposed to come before I posted One more night gone (Noah fic inspired by City and Colour) but it just never felt right. Anyways I hope yall like what I came up with And hopefully it makes sense xx.

Divider by @bernardsbendystraes

“C’mon darling live a little” Jolly taunted me with a big shit eating grin.

I had been working for the Bad Omens crew for almost a year, to say that I had been going through all emotions since working with them has to be an understatement. I mostly kept to myself, I was quiet most of the time, always sticking to my tasks and schedule.

Of course I had friends within the crew but I rarely went out after shows with them or the band to dinner or to have fun. And that's exactly why I was being bothered by Jolly at this very moment.

“I'll have you know that I do live, thank you very much” is said to him with an almost annoyed tone.

“You do? i almost never see you having fun with the rest of us.” he said almost laughing.”when was the last time you actually decided to turn off your work mode?”

I stayed in silence because if I actually thought about it he was correct. I wanted to give him a witty answer but I had none. I just looked him like i was lost an im starting to think im looking fucking stupid right now.

He was trying to convince me to go out with him and the rest of the guys. It was the end of the tour and they wanted to celebrate another successful run with the rest of the crew. Thankfully this last show was scheduled in California so we didn't have to travel all the way back home. I wasn't one to go out and party, in reality I was a hermit. I loved my job and getting to know everyone around me but I also loved getting to go home and take a warm bubble bath, drink a glass of wine and get cozy in bed while I tried to catch up on movies and series I might have missed while on tour.

He kept talking as I started to set up mic stands and cables. We had a few hours before the show started and everything needed to get set up. so the guys could also do soundcheck. The longer he talked the less confident i felt in winning this fight.

“Sometimes I think you're too sweet for me,” he said with a wink. “Don't you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake? Smellin' like a bonfire, lost in a haze? “ He looked so intently at me.

“1. What do you mean I'm too sweet for you?” i took a breath in and followed it up with another question “And 2. Are you really quoting Hozier?” I didn't intend to sigh through my lips as I said that last part. I'm sure he knew Hozier was my favorite artist at the moment, I constantly had his music playing while I worked.

I thought there was some sort of tension between us, I wasn't sure if it was sexual or what but there was always an electric charge that ran through my body whenever he talked or even looked at me.

He laughed a little, “okay 2 questions that i can definitely answer for you.”

I waited for him to respond for what seemed like a lifetime when in reality it was only a couple of seconds.

“1. You're too sweet for me babe, I feel like i'm corrupting you by just asking you to dinner and 2 If i say yes and i did quote Hozier would that make you agree to go out with me?… and the rest of the crew and guys obviously..”

“You have never asked me to din..” I stopped mid sentence trying to not sound disappointed. “If i say yes will you stop asking me?” i questioned

“Yes definitely” he said laughing “I promise you'll have fun, we're going to dinner and then after we'll go to a karaoke bar, have a couple of drinks and just let go for a while” he said without a care in the world.

I hesitated for a moment. “Fine I'll go, but you owe me one,” I said.

“Okay great, you got it, we will finish up packing everything and I’ll come by to get you afterwards” he said

“You’re just trying to make sure, I don’t run off right?” I put on my best unamused face.

“No…” he replied laughing

I started to get back to organizing everything without saying anything to him anymore. Honestly it made me anxious to think about going out with everyone, I didn’t do well in crowds which is kind of ironic given my job description. I also felt like I was the most boring person and I didn’t have too much to contribute to the conversation.

I wanted to not think about it anymore, it was time for me to come out of my comfort zone so I decided that tonight I would just enjoy everyone's company and just have fun. Jolly was right. I did need to live a little so I was gonna let go and come whatever may,

The show went great, everything went as planned and after everything was packed and ready to go, we all headed out to dinner. Everyone decided that the ramen shop that was down the street from the venue was the place to go.

I was sitting between Jolly and Matt and I immediately regretted my decision. They were bickering back and forth about who had the better skills at Mario Kart, i don't really know what else I didn't really pay any attention to what they were saying anymore.

“So Jolly, how did you manage to convince y/n to come?” Matt asked Jolly

“umm i just worked my charm on her” Jolly said looking straight at me, before he turned his attention back to Marr he winked at me.

Matt just started laughing and returned to the conversation happening on the other side of him.

“So you worked your charm on me?” i asked him before i lost the little bravery i had in me

“Is it working? Are we getting somewhere?” he asked

“I…I.. what, wait where are you trying to go?” to say that i was nervous was an understatement.

He looked at me for what felt like a minute longer before he spoke again.

“you really don't know?” he says with an intrigues tone.

“I don't know what you are talking about?” i asked just as intrigued,

Before he could answer back Noah was already announcing that it was time to head out to the Karaoke bar. We all got up and headed toward the exit. We did end up having to use the tour vans in order to get to said place as it was a bit further away then what we expected.

I couldn't stop thinking about what Jolly was trying to tell me. Was I being delusional thinking he may have been about to confess his feelings for me? Most likely

We all arrived at our destination and we all seated across different tables..Some ordered some alcoholic drinks and some just sodas.

“Here, I brought you a beer,” Jolly said to me, taking the seat right beside me.

“Thank you, how did you know this is my favorite? I said, smiling at him.

“i know because i notice every little thing about you, i notice how you crinkle your nose every time you smell something you like, i notice how you think when no one is watching you you start singing, beautiful voice by the way, i notice how fast you drink your coffee in the mornings and within 30 minutes you're already ordering another through a delivery app” he took a deep breath “i know a lot of thing about you..because i..”

Before he could finish his sentence Folio was already by our table, “ Okay Jolly is your turn for karaoke, lets gooo, move it”

A little bit of laughter escaped my lips as Jolly stared at Folio for interrupting the moment, he got up from his seat and made his way over to the little computer set next to the state that had the songs loaded.

It looked like already had a song in mind since he took just under a minute to select it and for him to move over to the mic.

The lights in the stage got dimmer and the music started playing. I would know that song anywhere, more specifically, it always made me think of Jolly in one of my many delusions I had per day. I couldn't believe it, did he have some psychic powers I wasn't aware of? if i didn't know any better I would think he knew this was probably the song I would get off to when I was thinking of him.

“Have you got colour in your cheeks?” He started singing and I could practically feel pressure building between my legs.

I could not take my eyes off him, it was almost as if the world stopped for a moment and it was just me and him in this dim lit room, “i dreamt about you nearly every night this week”

We said in unison even though you could say I was more whispering than singing.

“Do i wanna know.. if this feeling flows both ways” I was forgetting how to breathe. “Was sorta hoping that you'd stay..”

I was practically wet at this point and I'm pretty sure he could tell that my face was red from all the blushing as well. I was about to explode into a million pieces, I didn't know how much I would be able to hold myself together for. and i was hoping i wasn't reading this whole situation wrong.

“Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new” I could say the same thing I thought. “Do you want me crawling back to you?” And there it was the last straw, I could feel the walls closing in and I needed to get a breath of fresh air.

I got up before he could make his way back to the table, I moved as fast as I could and crossed the threshold of the exit door to find myself outside the karaoke bar. I saw the lights of the street illuminate the path as I paced back and forth. It wasn't long before I heard the bar open, I stood still in one place and I saw Jolly walking towards me.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked with a concerned look on his face.

“Hi” that's all i could muster up to say, after a bit of silence i spoke again “ah yeah im okay i just needed fresh air, the space was getting too small and hot for my liking” i tried to sound as normal as i could.

“Hey listen, maybe I read into this too much..” he sounded concerned but i let him go on “i'm sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable it was never my intent..”

I realized what he was saying and before I lost the little courage that the alcohol I previously drank had given me I took his face in my hands and leaned in to kiss him.

It was slow at first, he tasted like the sweetest wine mixed with a hint of mint. As the kiss escalated we somehow also made our way to the alley that was on the back of the establishment.

\he licked the bottom of my lip asking for entrance and i allowed him without any restriction. I felt as if I was on cloud nine. Our tongues tangled in a war for dominance that I was sure I was gonna lose. He had one hand on the back on neck and the other on my hip. He started to slowly push me up against the wall. His lip parted from mine, and we both gasped for air.

“You don't know how long i been waiting for this” he dove for a quick kiss, “how long ive been wanting to touch you, just like this.” \His hand started to roam, even though i was fully clothed i could still feel his every touch.

He moved his hand to the wall so he could steady himself and with his other he moved his hand down, first through the valley of my chest down to my stomach, he stopped right before the seam of my jeans.

He took a breath and said “\if you wanted me to stop just say so” but i didn't dare say anything. I was too lost in the moment to even try to put a sentence together and he could see in my eyes was pure lust.

He took my silence as an indication to keep going. I heard the pop of my jeans being unbuttoned and and slowly his hand sinked down to touch me in the most intimate place. I let a gasp escape my lip and I started to feel my legs weakened. i stadied myself by placing both of my hands on the wall as he slipped his fingers through my folds.

“You're already so wet for me aren't you?” “Yees” I let out a shaky voice.

He started to rub my clit slowly in circles and I was slowly losing my inhibitions. the sensation all building up in the pit of my stomach. i was certain that i was seeing stars floating around, he slipped one finger inside of me “your so tight baby” he slipped a second finger in “so tight” he repeated.

His fingers started to thrust in and out of me, and all I could do vocally was whimper. I was close to my climax, I grabbed on his shoulders as I let the euphoric feeling take over me. It was like an explosion of color and warmth behind my eyes.

I was coming down from my high and trying to catch my breath while Jolly put his fingers in his mouth. The same two fingers that were inside of me just a moment ago.

“You taste so sweet, too sweet. get on your knees” he commanded.

And obeyed like my life depended on it. He unbuckled his pants and let his member free, and I swear that I could feel the drool roll out of my mouth onto the concrete floor.

“Are you going to be a good girl and suck on it?” my answer couldn't come out fast enough “Yes”

I grabbed his thigh and my mother went to the tip of cock which was already dripping in precum. i started stroking up and down, letting him get a feel, He closed his eyes and that's when i dove, i put the tip in my mouth licked the precum, he was big and girthy i wasn't sure if he would i could fit all of him in my mouth but i would dam try.

I bobbed my head up and down the length of his cock, each time with a bit more force than the last. He tangled his fingers in my hair and guided me, for the last few minutes until I could feel the web of his cum hitting the back of my throat.

And as I sat still on my knees, and looked up to meet Jollys eyes, I knew in that moment that everything had shifted, and I was done for. He had ruined any chance of any other guy that tried to make me feel this way because no one will ever compare. Ever.

[grimreaperschild]

this is my first fic ever and it’s kinda short but any advice + if you wanna see more let me know

warnings: some wednesday level threat maybe ooc wednesday not sure but stalker/infactuated wednesday

not proof read bc im dyslexic and it hurts my brain but i hope you enjoy ❤️

Wednesday trudged into the quad at the start of the semester, she would never admit it but with the new year looming over her she’s slightly exited for what new things she can uncover, there’s chatter of a new student and she hasn’t given it a second thought, even though nevermores resident artist xavier had gifted her a phone she still refused to succumb to such trivial things as gossip, that was of course until she saw you, walking into the quad with slumped shoulders and a shy smile next to the new principle, her eyes lingered on you for far longer than she seemed acceptable cursing herself when you met her eyes confusion evident in your expression though behind it she could see some form of hope, pulling her eyes away from you she tuned into the conversation enid and yoko were having about you vaguely annoyed that her interest was peaked.

y/n pov:

the car ride with my dad to nevermore was silent, as was the goodbye the principle greats me kindly enough and i think maybe this was a mistake, this was supposed to be an adventure but i was proven wrong as we stepped into the quad, the amount of eyes on me making me slightly nervous, zoning out to avoid the lecture on the old space i feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end

snapping my head up i meet the eyes of a girl dressed in black with pigtails, the curiosity of why she has a different uniform out ways the thoughts of how captivating she is, turning and cutting off mr harrow i jester with my head “who’s that, the goth girl” he tilts his head with obvious disdain “y/n it’s not a good idea to get involved with the wrong crowd, that’s wednesday addams and by the looks of it you’ve caught her attention, i feel my condolences are in offer, let’s continue the tour” i nod once taking in the new information stealing one last glance she seems occupied with her group of friends fighting down the disappointment that flashes through me i turn on my heel and follow along the rest of my tour black uniform painted in my mind.

moving in was easy enough and within a few hours my room is looking more mine, being tired i decide to nap knowing i have a long day tomorrow.

wednesdays pov:

i let my feet carry me, overcome with the strange need to know where the new student that i now know is called y/n is dorming, to my utter dismay her dorm is only a few doors down, this is all panning out to be too easy convincing herself that’s the only reason she has interest in you, it’s easy and something to do, heading back to her dorm to fill thing in and have him keep tabs on you came more naturally than expected.

over the next couple of days she manages to secure seats that have a clear view of you in classes, if you notice her impassive stare you don’t let on, she learns that you can control fire from thing, her own research brings up noting but happy pictures of you and your family from years ago on social media, she stands in the shower for half an hour contemplating why instagram doesn’t seem that bad anymore, research online is so much easier than trialing behind you, as fascinated as she is with you, your not that important not yet anyway.

y/n pov:

the past few weeks settling in have been good, i’ve made friends with enid and her boyfriend ajax, the group is a little quirky but it works all the same, joining them for lunch in the quad has become a regular occurrence, so has my seat next to wednesday i’ve embarrassingly tried a few times to engage in conversation with her only to be meet with a steely glance or a roll of her eyes.

enid let’s out a groan as her head hits the table “we’ve only been here for a few weeks and im already struggling with classes, how is that even possible” i let out a low chuckle “comon it’s not that bad plus im sure nes here can help you, right” as i turn to her she’s already glaring at me the use of nickname obviously peaking her intrest “call me that again and i’ll cut your tongue out” turning back to the book she was reading, i give enid a thumbs up “nes is definitely down to tutor you” the sudden movement of wednesday getting up and stomping away makes me jump slightly ignoring the way disappointment rolls off me in waves. “we are going to the lake you should come with” i already know she’s giving me the puppy eyes and i sigh as i look up and my suspicions are confirmed “let me go to my dorm and grab my swim stuff” enid squeals as she jumps clapping in excitement

wednesdays pov:

i watch as she stands in the mirror nose scrunched as she tries on another bikini, eventually picking a dark red set, my eyes scan over her body gulping it in, as she closes her dorm room behind her i turn back to the bathroom im in taking note of what different shampoo she has, finally giving into the mental struggle i turn on my heel determined to get atleast one more glimpse of the colour red

[el-ee-6920]

hey! im now working on chapter 4. chapter 3 was the shortest chapter ive done yet, i didnt realize it until it was too late so now im embarassed. but for now heres my attempt at serious dialogue (warning: cringe) if someone likes this one ill complete the second half.

to everyone whos been reading my stuff, thank you. genuinly thank you. im not a very good artist so i cant make it a comic, so writing is my next best bet. i know my writing sucks, and could be better. and i am working very hard to improve. but thank you to everyone who has given my work a note and gave feedback. you know who you are, thank you

______

as the lights turn off for the night,

micah can see the schoolhouse still lit. the critter crew and the staff are celebrating.. something.... they didnt invite him. thats fine, he never gets invited to those sorts of things anyways. he still has a guard post to attend to by the elliot express dock.

with a fully charged casette player and metallica's "ride the lightning" tape. he continues to do his job.

____

CC: um, dogday? why isnt micah here?

DD: because hes not a part of the playcare crew.

bubba: after everything hes done and you still dont see him as a part of the team?

DD: what has he done to be called part of the team? half ass everything and be an idiot in front of the children?

bearhug: because you never took the time to teach him how to properly do his job as a teacher! all you have done is get angry at him the second you see him even remotely deviate from the established rules.

DD: well- i- he sets bad examples for the children!

bearhug; what you mean the examples that helped the children's science score averages go up? the examples that have helped children learn instruments through his "trash" music? Never in my years of being here at the playcare have you ever written off the work of someone so hard. especially when it has proven to have engaged the children in ways we have never seen before!

KC: you are kinda being a non-bro to a bro, DD.

HH: why are you so against Mr.garry dogday?

the air in the room changes. bubba sits there shocked, crafty looks at dogday sad and disappointed. meanwhile catnap is minding his own business drinking his cola out of a bowl.

before anyone could say anything else, picky comes out with the celebratory cake. the rest of the staff come out with her.

____

dogday looks at his cake slice, he hasnt touched it. he didnt realize how rude and dismissive he was towards micah. he thought he was being a good teacher and setting good examples for the children. yes, micah was foolish at times and doesnt know exactly the ins and outs of teacher work. dogday has simply never had to teach someone how to teach, Ms.delight was always on the same page as him.

____

[raytorosaurus]

bit of a weird ask but I saw a twitter post saying they were 'devastated' over what frank said in an interview about performing/writing in ls dunes compared to some other bands (theyre assuming that the 'other bands' means mcr because they cant think of the 20+ other bands that hes been in) and after reading it a second time it doesn't even seem that negative?? it just talks about different processes and his excitement for dunes, but I still feel down anyway now because of that reaction, and it really makes me doubt that part of the fandom's faith in the band and its members im kinda close to quitting the fandom because of this and idk how the tumblr/twitter gang here survives it y'all are troopers, im unsure how to avoid that kind of doomposting

sorry i totally forgot to answer this the other day, i hope you see this!

but yeah, i see the same thing and it is. pretty irritating haha. it speaks to the unrealistic traits and behaviours fandom has applied to these ppl over the years/decades - which are harmless enough on the surface, but left unchecked you end up with doomposting or disproportionate levels of discourse when one of them doesn't behave the way their textpostified personalities would have you believe hahaha. if frank isn't anything but reverential towards mcr then he must hate it. if gerard puts time and work into his artistic and career pursuits that aren't related to mcr he must be giving up on the band like he supposedly did in 2012. if ray, who hasn't done a single interview since 2016, isn't on stage showing frank public affection or admiring him on twitter, he must be bossy and arrogantly taking all the glory for mcr's guitar parts and musicality. if mikey does anything it's gotta have something to do with gerard or mcr because obvs he doesn't exist outside the band etc etc. again none of these things are like. problematic or bad**, just kind of. annoying to engage with as an adult in the space i go to enjoy myself hahaha.

but this specific discussion abt frank implicitly dissing mcr also cropped up after that podcast frank did with travis, where he discussed writing music with ls dunes vs every other band/project he's been involved in. which, let's remember, is a fucking lot. how many albums has frank made or been part of? too many to easily count. only about four or five of those were with my chemical romance. ls dunes is only set apart from the rest because they're currently active after mcr's huge reunion, and they're a supergroup so they're getting a lot of press attention. people have never batted an eye in the past when frank has discussed how great it is to be working with this or that musician on this or that album - it's just the timing of ls dunes and our own high hopes for new mcr music that make people take this one in particular so personally.

on top of that... we've always known mcr has a fraught and stressful writing process??? that is like. a major part of the lore? we're all compelled by the insane amount of unlikely success mcr achieved in their careers, and by the fact that they were always controversial. we reblog quotes about gerard saying mcr's purpose was always to be against something, to undermine expectations, to infiltrate, contaminate etc. i thought this was something we were all drawn to about mcr? so i'll never understand the shock and disappointment when frank makes the simple statement that writing with ls dunes is easier, less stressful, and more lighthearted than writing with mcr. like...duh it is? mcr have always been open about how much they put into writing albums - and also about how they're proud of what they created, and that they consider each other cherished family.

the most annoying part for me is when people take quotes about frank working with travis and twist them into some kind of dig at/criticism of ray. i can only assume these people aren't used to working with others in a creative capacity, especially long term, because i just totally can't understand where it comes from lol. as someone who's read/watched every guitar-related mcr interview i've ever been able to get my hands on: ray and frank have literally never been anything other than fully complimentary of, respectful to, and affectionate with one another. ray was far from the first guitarist frank ever worked with and leagues from the only one. also, creative partnerships are extremely complex and every one is completely unique, with it's own strengths and difficulties. if ray and frank didn't love playing with each other they wouldn't have done it for years and years. that doesn't mean frank can't vocally love playing with other guitarists??? these things are not contradictory and appreciating aspects of one creative partnership is not equivalent to bad-mouthing a different one? like that is just not how it works skdkdjd

anyway i think a lot of it comes down to the fact that, for us, we see these people as parts of my chemical romance. naturally, because that's the reason we know they exist! but all of these people live rich and full and complex lives like any other person. the only parts of those lives that we generally see much of are the my chemical romance parts. we look for mcr in everything they say, which is understandable but unrealistic. all we need to do it keep that in mind imo

**(tho ppl's tendency to pit ray and frank against each other for some reason, which used to be a way common but is unfortunately a sentiment i'm starting to see crop up again in some places, definitely can get. suspicious and uncomfortable. especially considering that frank is the fan favourite so these pointless comparisons tend to err in his favour, and in either direction they tend to be very shallow and uninformed anyway. but that's a separate conversation)

wow i literally did not intend to turn this into a giant essay im so sorry. kudos if you made it this far lol. and i feel you anon, it's discouraging and puts a bad taste in my mouth when i come to this fandom for fun and fulfillment. i wish i had better advice because im feeling a little similar but just try to remind yourself that other people's opinions are just that. i find it helps if you can curate your own dash/feed or make friends in more discussion-friendly spaces like dms or gcs or discord servers. or even a priv twitter account with a few like-minded mutuals where you can vent ur shared frustrations over things without making it a whole big deal HAHAHA. the less time you spend scrolling thru ppl's public posts and the more time you spend diving into interviews, podcasts, videos, the web archive etc to detach yourself a little from group fandom-think the better you'll probably feel about mcr tbh! also long as you have friends or close mutuals that's all that matters imo <3

[regina-cordium]

me? responding to a post i got tagged in? wild!

got tagged by @renninflight

Rules: always post the rules. answer the questions the person who tagged you has written and write eleven new ones. tag 11 new people and link them to your post. let them know you’ve tagged them

except. i never know who to tag for these. if u see this tagged ur it. ill put questions at the end

under cut, because as yall know im a Yapper

What's your favorite band/musician? (And tell me why! And if you've seen them live!)

I'm a Hozier girlie thru and thru. he was in boston in march AND HAD NOAH KAHN AND I COULDNT GO AND IM STILL SO DISAPPOINTED. A N D HE WAS AT BOSTON CALLING AND I C O U L D N ' T G O auuuuugh

What's something you're proud of?

i dont mean this in, like, a self deprecating way. but i honestly dont know what to say. i got dean's list a couple times in college. i won some kinda award and now my name is on a plaque in the english department, thats kinda dope (i, to this day, have no idea what it was for)

What's something you like about yourself?

i do tell my parents they overestimate how smart i am, but i will say i am p good with trivia/knowing random things. nothing better than getting most of a jeopardy board right (<- needs to go outside more)

What's something you would like to do, if money weren't an obstacle?

i would literally never leave school. i love learning things (see above)

What's something you do when you're anxious or stressed to calm down and relax?

listen to music, sometimes Very Loudly

Do you have a favorite author? (If so, who?)

im totally blanking, but i dont really think so? theres not really an author that i see and immediately go "oh i gotta read ALL of their stuff RIGHT NOW" yknow?

Do you have a favorite poet? (If so, who?)

emily dickinson. yes, i am gay, how'd you know?

Do you have a favorite artist? (You can probably guess the rest of this question!)

van gogh!!!!!!! i know its such a basic bitch answer, but i L O V E the impressionists

What's a movie or TV show that had a big impact on you? (Could be something you watched growing up, a movie you saw recently that made you emotional, something you've seen a lot, something you quote with friends and family, etc)

i would watch beauty and the beast on vhs CONSTANTLY growing up. tv show wise, definitely buffy and angel and charmed. watched them with ma growing up and they have absolutely shaped my interests since then. also, and i swear im not being sarcastic, supernatural. ma and i watched every goddamn episode together since the pilot and look at me now.

What's something you wish you could forget? (Could be something personal, or it could just be a gross or weird fact)

not to get Very Fucking Morbid, but my dad almost died when i was 12 and i'd super love to forget that, actually

What's something you'd like to change about the world?

I Cannot Emphasize Enough That You Should Care About Other People

okay here're my questions. if u got this far, u are doubly tagged. idk i never know who to tag.

Song you've had on repeat lately?

Favorite play/musical (or both!)?

Book/movie/show you think somebody should read/watch to understand you better?

What's your favorite poem?

What's immediately to your left?

Favorite dessert?

Somewhere you'd love to travel, if money/accommodations were no issue?

Tv show currently/last watched?

Do you think aliens are real?

Do you think ghosts are real?

Do you have overly specific requirements for a room when you're trying to sleep?

[humphreybogie]

100 Albums // 2024

One of my resolutions for 2024 was to sit down and listen to more full albums, uninterrupted from beginning to end, with limited song-skipping. Here is where I'm compiling those albums + my thoughts on them as I go.

If you see this (which you might because Im pinning it for ease of access), you should reply or send me a message with your favorite album. I just may give it a listen! Thanks!!

How I'm choosing the albums: many of these are "I randomly found one song off this album, I've been meaning to listen to more". But some are just iconic, genre-defining albums that I know I'm doing myself a disservice by not listening to yet. But most are also blind suggestions! From friends and coworkers.

How I'm rating them: this is PERSONAL TASTE ONLYYYYYY. Some albums I acknowledge will be impossible to rate this way, but for the most part I am JUST rating based on MY taste. I'm trying to be open minded to any and all genre's but I'm aware my tastes lean indie.

‐----------------‐-------------------------------------------------------

1. Self-Titled - Bon Iver (2011)

Rating: 4/10

Fav Songs: Holocene, Towers, Wash

Notes: I REALLY wanted this whole album to be like "Holocene" but overall it's pretty... Meh, save a few songs. The bits I enjoyed were experimental aspects that remind me of "33 God". I will listen to that album too at some point. I haven't given up on Bon Iver, anyway.

2. Get to Heaven (Deluxe vers) - Everything Everything (2015)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: The Wheel (is turning now), Only As Good as my God, Blast Doors

Notes: I absolutely LOVED this album. I've been obsessed with OAGAMG for years, and most of the album is just as good if not better. Love the post-modern, religious imagery and overall messaging. Not every song totally landed, though, which is why it's only an 8/10.

3. Nearer My God - Foxing (2018)

Rating: 6/10

Fav Songs: Nearer My God, Five Cups, Lambert

Notes: I listened to this album on a rainy Sunday morning while finishing a book, and I'd say that's the perfect way to listen to it. Solid mellow vibes and sweeping, yet gentle, instrumentals- but nothing that really knocked my socks off.

4. The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess - Chappell Roan (2023)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Pink Pony Club, HOT TO GO!, Red Wine Supernova

Notes: Almost a perfect album, to me. High points are danceable, low songs still catchy as fuck. One part Madonna, part Lemon Demon?? Its just great. However, I think the opening song 'FEMININOMENON' is awful. I couldn't even finish it. Only thing keeping this album from a 10/10.

5. Born in the U.S.A. - Bruce Springsteen (1984)

Rating: I can't rate this are you crazy?/10

Fav Songs: Downbound Train, No Surrender, Dancing in the Dark

Notes: I won't even try to rate this album because it's so classic and contextual. I really loved it, though- especially with an eye on the way Springsteen satirizes, critiques, yet appreciates masculinity and methods of American patriotism.

6. Fine Line - Harry Styles (2019)

Rating: 5/10

Fav Songs: Cherry, Fine Line, Adore You

Notes: Another tame background listen. A few bangers but the rest is very meh. Also included my second song skip on this entire list, which is never great. I will probably not listen to any more Harry.

7. Mystére - La Femme (2016)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Ou ve la Monde, Sphynx, Mycose

Notes: First foreign language AND rec album for an artist that I'd never listened to. Really cool stuff here, very experimental- some of it is more straightforward electronica, some of it almost 60s sounding Halloween beats, some psychedelic rock- but I really enjoyed it!

8. Put Yourself Back Together - Real Friends (2013)

Rating: 3/10

Fav Songs: Skin Deep, I've Given Up On You

Notes: Chose a short one to end January on 8, but I found this album tremendously disappointing. All in a row like this, the whininess of Real Friends REALLY starts to grate after about 3 songs. Its way beyond your usual pop punk whininess, too. By the albums end I was so grateful it was over.

9. Self-Titled - Vagabon (2019)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Flood, Full Moon in Gemini, Water Me Down

Notes: This album is very good, but the best songs are unfortunately the ones I'd already stumbled on. That isn't to say there wasn't some treasures to be found- and on continued listens, I think "In A Bind" could grow higher in my tastes. Overall, pretty damn good!

10. The Slow Rush - Tame Impala (2020)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Borderline, Breathe Deeper, On Track

Notes: GREAT album. Even the songs that don't stand out are so fucking funky, it's impossible to not groove. I listened to this while cleaning the kitchen at work and I was half-dancing through most of it. I'll listen to Currents at some point, too.

11. Pin-Up Daddy - Rett Madison (2021)

Rating: 10/10

Fav Songs: Pin-Up Daddy, God is a Woman, Fleas

Notes: Finally... a 10/10 album! Pin-Up Daddy is a song that impacted me very deeply upon first listen, and the rest of this is just as gutting. First album (of this list) to bring me to tears. Definitely not a listen-in-the-background album, Rett demands involvement in the stories.

12. You Are All I See - Active Child (2011)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Hanging On, High Priestess, You Are All I See

Notes: This album is really good- mixing R&B with 80s synth, and add this mans beautiful, Bon Iver-esque falsetto, its a dream. However, the worst bits of this album are definitely where he's trying to... *Sound* more black than he is (lol there's really no nice way to say it).

Also! This album led me to Ellie Goulding's cover of "Hanging On", and this next album...

13. Halcyon - Ellie Goulding (2012)

Rating: 1/10

Fav Songs: Hanging On

Notes: think I've avoided this album subconsciously. "Lights" is a 10/10 album for me, but this albums single "Anything Can Happen" is probably one of my most hated songs of the 2010s. Its awful. And I'm sorry to report that the rest of this album is just as bad- giving "overproduced" a new standard, losing every appealing and unique thing about "Lights". The dubstep beat running through the background of every song is SO grating and was actually starting to piss me off. The gem keeping this album from a total 0 is her cover of "Hanging On", which is very different from the original but feels like the only song that she put even an OUNCE of effort into.

14. Miss Universe - Nilüfer Yanya (2019)

Rating: 7.5/10

Fav Songs: Heavyweight Champion of the Year, Baby Blu, Safety Net

Notes: Great album that I listened to while deep-cleaning at work. Its high energy makes it good for cleaning, and I really enjoyed the pacing/content of the album breaks. Really atmospheric. Her voice is so unique and her range is just INSANE too.

15. Self-Titled - Elliott Smith (1995)

Rating: 6/10

Fav Songs: Good to Go, Needle in the Hay, The Biggest Lie

Notes: I've been meaning to get to some Elliott Smith forever- he is, after all, SO influential. I was vibing to his stuff- but nothing on this album really stood out much to me. That said- it's amazing how you can feel his influence on many other artists- Phoebe Bridgers, Frank Ocean, Bright Eyes... I especially felt that he was similar in tone to Sufjan Stevens, whom I just adore. Another great rec!

16. Self-Titled - Tracy Chapman (1988)

Rating: 💧/10

Fav Songs: Fast Car, Mountain O' Things, Talkin' Bout a Revolution

Notes: I don't know why I wasn't expecting this album to be SO political when, in my opinion, Fast Car is very political. But Tracy has a lot to say about being black, poor, a woman- not even to mention being gay. This album was trangressive and inspiring when it dropped, and it remains totally excellent.

17. Fantastic Planet - Failure (1996)

Rating: 5/10

Fav Songs: Dirty Blue Balloons, Saturday Savior

Notes: Another blind suggestion for a band I've never even heard of! Overall, very cool and super different from my usual stuff. Not totally MY vibe, but this album has a lot to offer musically. I even watched a biography video about Failure afterwards because I was so interested in their process.

This album also REALLY made me want to listen to a full Tool album, so...

18. Lateralus- TOOL (2001)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Schism, The Grudge, Reflection

Notes: This album rules. I got stoned as hell and listened to it while doing a mindless task and it feels like I really, truly heard all of the instrumental and vocal depth of Tool for the first time. Not every song captured me, but considering Tool is known for LONG songs, I'm surprised it's as engaging as it is.

19. Crimes of Passion - Pat Benetar (1980)

Rating: 5/10

Fav Songs: Wuthering Heights, Hit Me With Your Best Shot, I'm Gonna Follow You

Notes: This album is certified mid. Her cover of Wuthering Heights is inspired, and obviously Hit Me is iconic, but this album offers little else besides a few decent guitar riffs. Any given song had clunky lyrics, and this is just not as refined as I know Pat Benetar to be.

20. Caught in Still Life - VAULTS (2016)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: One Last Night, Cry No More, Hurricane

Notes: Vaults basically encapsulates all my favorite musical things; electronic percussion mixed with pure instrumentals like strings, piano, harps, or chimes- plus clear, lovely vocals... It's just excellent.

21. Currents - Tame Impala (2015)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Eventually, Disciples, The Less I Know the Better

Notes: Told you I'd listen to Currents too! I liked this album a tiny bit more than The Slow Rush, I just feel like it was better put together and the flow between songs is perfect. But they are both SO good.

22. Modus Vivendi - 070 Shake (2020)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Morrow, Rocketship, The Pines

Notes: I think this is my first hiphop album of this project, which is insane. This is a good example of how the flow between songs can really make or break an album. I didn't love too many specific, individual songs- but I loved the structure as a whole which can carry a lot. I also just really enjoy 070 Shake. Her flow scratches an itch.

23. Proof of Life - Joy Oladokun (2023)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Changes, Somehow, Friends

Notes: Another album from someone I'd never heard of, and it's great! Joy was recommended to me as someone who likes Taylor Swifts 'Folklore' album. I would not say it's much like Folklore, but it was still wonderful. She has a voice like velvet and this folky, optimistic way with words. 'Changes' could have been my pandemic anthem.

24. 3.15.20 - Childish Gambino (2020)

Rating: 2/10

Fav Songs: 42.26, 35.31

Notes: (I listened to this literally days before he removed it from Spotify!) My partner reminded me of this album. Starting, I wondered to myself; "this album has been out for 4 years. Why haven't I heard any songs from it??" And the answer is; because they're bad. Like, really bad and not even in a fun way. Songs listed are listenable but I don't see myself revisiting them.

25. Strange Trails - Lord Huron (2015)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Meet Me In The Woods, The Night We Met, Fool for Love

Notes: After the last one, I wanted an album I knew would be decent so I went with Strange Trails as I'm familiar with a handful of songs. It's great! I just love the way he tells stories here. Reminiscent of old country. Redacted points for putting both 'Love Like Ghosts' and 'Meet Me In The Woods' on there. In theory, the idea of the same instrumentals with different lyrics is interesting- but in practice feels like LLG is the rough, first draft and shouldn't have been included.

26. Unreal Unearth: Unheard - Hozier (2024)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Empire Now, Too Sweet, Wildflower and Barley

Notes: Feels a bit cheat-y since I've heard almost every song off this 'album' except these new 4 added by the EP, but... I love Hozier and I wanted it to count because I listened to the whole thing like 3 times in a row. Lol.

27. Saved - Now, Now (2018)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: SGL, Powder, Drive

Notes: This album is one that inspired this project, so I'm not sure why it took me so long to get to it. Now, Now has a truly unique sound that I struggle to classify, and I simply love it. Catchy, yet complex and dreamy. Not every song landed but I'll be coming back to this one for sure.

28. Sahar - Tamino (2022)

Rating: 7/10

Fav songs: The First Disciple, The Longing, Fascination

Notes: Overall, I think I like his album Amir a bit more but this ones still great, especially to throw on in the background while you're doing stuff. His music is so layered and rich, truly unique sounding. That said, I REALLY don't like "Sunflower". I've heard it a few times now and I like it less every time.

29. Spirituals - Santigold (2022)

Rating: 6/10

Fav Songs: No Paradise, Fall First, Ain't Ready

Notes: This one was a coworker recommendation. Its just okay! I appreciate how unique and difficult to genre-fy Santigold is, but I prefer some of her older stuff. This album still has some great flow and a few total gems, though.

30. Beauty Pageant - The Bobby Lees (2018)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Radiator, Mad Moth, Bobby Lee

Notes: Another coworker rec and I LOVED this album. The old-punk feel is so visceral, you could close your eyes and be in an 80s basement show. I couldn't BELIEVE how new this is. Not a casual listen for sure, but worth a quick dive if you feel like going hard.

31. Чёрный альбом - Kino (1990)

Rating: 🎸/10

Fav Songs: N/A

Notes: This was a bestie-rec but I've listened to enough Kino in the past to know it probably wasn't gonna be my vibe! And sure enough, it wasn't. I enjoyed it ok, but most of the songs just blended together for me. I spent a good chunk of time reading about Kino afterwards, though. Cool band.

32. Older - Lizzy McAlpine (2024)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Drunk Running, Staying, Broken Glass

Notes: Lizzy's album before this, "ten seconds flat" is a 10/10 album that CONSUMED my entire Spotify wrapped last year. I was cautious about this album and I'm glad for it, because it's VERY different. I still enjoyed it a lot, but to compare the two would be weird. This is a melancholy album with very few highs, a jazz-feel throughout, and features Lizzy's voice on full display. A few songs bored me to death, musically, but a lot of it also brought me to tears!

33. Apocalypse Whenever (Deluxe vers) - Bad Suns - 2022

Rating: 3/10

Fav Songs: Maybe You Saved Me, When the World was Mine

Notes: This was my first truly disappointing listen. I love Bad Suns and "Disappear Here" is an album I just BLEED for. This one falls flat in comparison, and the culprit is obvious. I'm not sure if the singer is trying to sing in a more healthy way or something, but his voice just totally lacks that indescribable *thing* he does. The special sauce, if you will. As a result every song sounds really low-energy?

34. Fade to Bluegrass (a tribute to Metallica) - Iron Horse (2003)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Nothing Else Matters, Unforgiven, Wherever I May Roam

Notes: Another coworker rec, and the concept really intrigued me. I don't even like Metallica but I'm familiar enough with them to admit these songs went hard. A few I even feel lend themselves better to the Bluegrass genre?? A really interesting listen!

35. The Tortured Poets Department (ANTHOLOGY) - Taylor Swift (2024)

Rating: 4/10

Fav Songs: I Look in People's Windows, Down Bad, The Black Dog

Notes: Certifiably mid. Does not justify being 31 effing songs long. Most of it sounds indistinguishable from one another and I feel like she has stopped refining her first drafts. Every song is so densely packed with lyrics, I wish she would just write a poetry book or something. And this low energy 'talk-singing' thing she does now sounds awful and bores you to tears by the end.

36. The Secret to Life - FIZZ (2023)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: The Secret to Life, Close One, Hell of a Ride

Notes: My partner brought this supergroup to my attention because I listen to 3/4 of the members solo stuff. It's a great collab album and I LOVE the flow from song to song. Its also just a super fun listen.

37. Cure for Pain - MORPHINE (1993)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: All Wrong, In Spite of Me, Thursday

Notes: Forget bands I've never listened to, this one comes from a GENRE I've never touched; jazz fusion. My extreme enjoyment really caught me off guard, but the sax is one of my favorite instruments and it shines in all forms through Morphine. The real gem, though, is the singers voice, which delivers a rich rock and roll sound.

38. Here in Your Bedroom (2020) and Medusa (2018) - Kailee Morgue

Rating(s): 8/10 & 4/10

Fav Songs: Still, Dying to Live, Knew You

Notes: These are both small EPs, so I listened to them together expecting to mostly feel the same about them. I do NOT, so rating them together feels unfair now. My bad. The earlier stuff is very early. It's not unlistenable, but it's nothing exceptional. 4/10. However, the latter is AMAZING. I adore 'Still' and I think it's one of the best songs I've heard in recent memory. 8/10.

39. Floetic - Floetry (2002)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Say Yes, Headache, Sunshine

Notes: Holy fuck I loved this album. Another blind rec from a coworker that comes in the midst of some modern rap controversy. This album beautifully blurs the lines between hiphop, rap, jazz, and R&B, and it is SO horny. The sexual tension ripping out of this album is unbelievable and excellent. A few songs kind of bored me, but not usually for long before I was whisked away to enjoyment again.

40. 12 Golden Country Greats - Ween (1996)

Rating: 3/10

Fav Songs: I'm Holding You, You Were the Fool

Notes: Another coworker rec from a guy who was VERY upset I'd never given Ween a chance. This one is tough because I can see the clear and present artistry, but Ween is just... Not for me. I listened to some of their other stuff with similar disinterest, so it isn't just the stab at country, either. However, it's still a fun album.

41. けものたちの名前 - ROTH BART BARON (2019)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Skiffle Song, 春の嵐, iki

Notes: Felt like I was due another foreign language album, so I gave ROTH BART BARON a listen. Japanese folk is always awesome. I love the almost jazz-fusion aspects of this album and it has great flow. His voice is gorgeous, and the trumpet and violin are working overtime here.

42. Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes (2015)

Rating: 4/10

Fav Songs: Gemini, Gimme All Your Love

Notes: This started off badly because I asked my followers for R&B recs, and this is decidedly a funk/soul album. Not what I was looking for, and not my vibe. The singer is AMAZING but I feel like the rest wasn't quite as good as her, and a lot of it songs sounded very similar. Objectively, I'm sure anyone who likes funk would get more out of it.

43. Indian Yard - Ya Tseen (2021)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Close the Distance, A Feeling Undefined, Light the Torch

Notes: Cool album and another blind rec. Very varied and experimental, which is what you'd expect from an artist of physical design dipping into music for the first time. I LOVED the hiphop elements, and the features were great. A few songs were kinda droning and didn't totally land. But an incredible first effort.

44. Hit Me Hard and Soft - Billie Eilish (2024)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: WILDFLOWER, THE GREATEST, LUNCH

Notes: I probably would not have listened to this so soon after it was released if not for some friendly pestering. It's good! It's about what I expect from Billie. The slow songs are beautiful, she always captures this hollow feeling that is very special, and the fast songs are... Weird! I see the artistry, but I kinda wish there was something more surprising from Billie on this album.

45. Young, Loud, and Snotty - Dead Boys (1977)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Sonic Reducer, Down in Flames, High Tension Wire

Notes: GREAT rec from a coworker that I'm surprised I wasn't already aware of. I love classic punk, and the Dead Boys are CLASSICCCC punk. Still, they manage to capture something totally unique, too- especially in songs like High Tension Wire.

46. You're a Man Now, Boy - Raleigh Ritchie (2016)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Werld is Mine, Bloodsport '15, Keep It Simple

Notes: This was a spontaneous choice upon learning that Jacob Anderson has a music career. But boy, I don't regret it. Jacob's unique mix of trip-hop, soul, and rap create a truly incredible album. His flow is AMAZING, and his accent is so charming. Can't wait to listen to his other stuff AND he has a third dropping later this year.

47. Bigger, Better Faster, More! - 4 Non-Blondes (1992)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Morphine & Chocolate, Superfly, Pleasantly Blue

Notes: I'd never listened to 4 Non-Blondes beyond Whats Up, and obviously that was a huge mistake. I didn't realize how capable Linda Perry was at sounding exactly like Robert Plant. But their rock sound is also so wholey unique, it's not totally fair to compare them to Led Zeppelin... I wish there was more!

48. Self-Titled - The Philharmonik (2018)

Rating: 6/10

Fav Songs: Underdog, Neon Lights, Good Day

Notes: Similar notes to the Ya Tseen album, though I liked it a bit less. Good stuff, can get experimental but you really feel the album flow.

49. Disco - Kylie Minogue (2020)

Rating: 10/10

Fav Songs: Magic, Real Groove, Supernova

Notes: Was starting to wonder if I'd ever get another 10/10! I was in a random Disco mood and stumbled on "Magic", which I immediately fell in love with. Listened to this whole album and it's just magical. I've never given Kylie much thought at all, but now I think she might be genius.

50. American Hero - Towa Bird (2024)

Rating: 7.5/10

Fav Songs: This Isn't Me, Boomerang, Sorry Sorry

Notes: The first of some summer releases I've been looking forward to. AMAZING first album from Towa. Her voice is so unique, but it's obvious that she's a guitar player first and foremost. The album is almost centered around the guitar, and it's pure artistry. Can't wait for more from her.

51. iTopia - The Get Right Band (2023)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: The Outrage Machine, Generation Happy or Dead, Miracle/Mess

Notes: Very topical to the 'now'. Almost too topical, because I think it works best as a single, long listen. But oh, who cares. It's a great album and you can tell the artists put a lot of thought into it. Thanks to whichever follower recommended it!

52. Nebraska - Bruce Springsteen (1982)

Rating: Once again, how do I even rate him?/10

Fav Songs: My Fathers House, Nebraska, Open All Night

Notes: Another Springsteen listen. I think I liked the overall cohesiveness of "Born in the USA" more, but "My Fathers House" quickly became a favorite Springsteen song. It's so gutting. I don't even know how to write about it. This album is very emotional.

53. The New South - Hank William Jr. (1977)

Rating: Yee Haw/10

Fav Songs: You're Gonna Change, Tennessee, Feelin' Better

Notes: Another coworker rec that I was hesitant about because HWJ is such a colossal asshole. But I'm trying not to let the rep of the artist influence my work, here. Very cool album- reminiscent of Waylon Jennings and Hank's voice is just amazing.

54. Big Ideas - Remi Wolf (2024)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Toro, Wave, Cinderella

Notes: Another highly anticipated summer release, and it doesn't disappoint. Remi is a rising star and I just love her way with words.

55. RMCM - Richy Mitch & the Coal Miners (2017)

Rating: 4/10

Fav Songs: Evergreen, Lucerne

Notes: This was a coworker rec but I was already pretty familiar with Evergreen. I wanted this album to be better but it's not offensive, either. Good for a summer morning listen but there's not anything that impressive or unique about it.

56. Stick Season - Noah Kahan (2023)

Rating: 10/10

Fav Songs: Dial Drunk, Call Your Mom, Paul Revere

Notes: I've been hearing about Noah for years, but I just never got around to him. Now I'm kicking myself for it because this album is AMAZING.

57. Blame My Ex - The Beaches (2023)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Me & Me, Edge of the Earth, Blame Brett

Notes: These girls are unrealized genius. The satire of songstress womanhood that flows through this album is incredibly smart, only overshadowed by how genuinely catchy everything is. The speed up at the beginning of Me & Me is so god damn fun.

58. DEAD ENDS AND DIVERSIONS - Raleigh Ritchie (2024)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Security, Hyperventilating, iLie

Notes: Another anticipated summer album, and the first slight disappointment. This album is still great, but it's a bit of a let down from "You're a Man Now, Boy". It also feels quite short because a lot of it is live performances of older songs. But overall, Jacob never truly misses.

59. Halo - Bakar (2023)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Facts_Situations, Alive!, Hell 'n Back

Notes: This was a coworker recommendation that was a bit blind for both of us, because he could only tell me that his teen kids like it. But those kids have great taste! A little weird doing two back-to-back British hip-hop albums, but they couldn't be more different. Bakar's music really capture's that Saturday morning R&B vibe.

60. Marigold - Pinegrove (2020)

Rating: 6/10

Fav Songs: Dotted Line, No Drugs, Endless

Notes:

61. Bismillah - Peter Cat Recording Co. (2019)

Rating: 5/10

Fav Songs: Floated By, Remain in Me

Notes:

62. Paradise State of Mind - Foster the People (2024)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Lost in Space, See You in the Afterlife, Take Me Back

Notes:

63. Discovery - Electric Light Orchestra (1979)

Rating: 6/10

Fav Songs: Last Train to London, Don't Bring Me Down, The Diary of Horace Wimp

Notes:

64. I Saw the TV Glow OST - Multiple Artists (2024)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Starburned & Unkissed, Claw Machine, Psychic Wound

Notes:

65. Tourist History - Two Door Cinema Club (2010)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Undercover Martyn, What You Know, Cigarettes in the Theatre

Notes:

66. This Empty Northern Hemisphere - Gregory Alan Isakov (2009)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Big Black Car, If I Go I'm Goin', Evelyn

Notes:

67. Preachers Daughter - Ethel Cain (2022)

Rating: 10/10

Fav Songs: Strangers, Western Nights, American Teenager

Notes:

68. The Money Store - Death Grips (2012)

Rating: /10

Fav Songs: Hustle Bones, The Fever, Lost Boys

Notes:

69. Prelude to Ecstasy - The Last Dinner Party (2024)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Cesar on a TV Screen, Nothing Matters, Sinner

Notes:

70. IGOR - Tyler, the Creator (2019)

Rating: 10/10

Fav Songs: NEW MAGIC WAND, IGORS THEME, ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

Notes:

71. Loveless - My Bloody Valentine (1991)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: When You Sleep, Sometimes, I Only Said

Notes:

72. Whitney - Whitney Houston (1987)

Rating: /10

Fav Songs: I Wanna Dance With Somebody, So Emotional, You're Still My Man

Notes:

73. Capacity - Big Thief (2017)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Haley, Mythological Beauty, Pretty Things

Notes:

74. Worlds - Porter Robinson (2014)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Sad Machine, Polygon Dust,

Notes:

75. Self-Titled - Mutemath (2006)

76. Self-Titled - Sunday 1994 (2024)

77. The Great Impersonator - Halsey (2024)

[maydaymayramble]

my final opinion on Fashion Dreamer as a devoted fan of style savvy

so as my initial deep disappointment started wearing off, i realised that it was unfair of me to immediately compare Fashion Dreamer to the style savvy series so harshly because they are simply not the same! Fashion Dreamer IS co developed by synsophia and it IS a game that revolves around fashion, but otherwise, they’re two completely different games.

you dont have a boutique to run, you dont have any customers to assist, you cant make connections with people and gradually make a name for yourself, you cant improve the community in the setting you live in etc etc. your just an influencer doing vague fashion related tasks and irl “influencer” would do.

tl;dr once i separated the two and started to see Fashion Dreamer as its own game instead a style savvy without any charm i started to really enjoy it for what it is

there’s no real tangible story here at all, only faint goals to achieve very early game and then thats it, and its obvious that they were never going for that in the first place because this isn't style savvy! its a completely new game that only has SynSophia working on in collaboration with another company. im sure if nintendo didn't decline SynSophia's request for another style savvy game on the switch this im sure this conversation would not exist but unfortunately, they did, and now we only have Fashion Dreamer, which serves as a descendant of a successor to the style savvy games.

now that i've managed to separate Fashion Dreamer and style savvy as two completely different games i want to talk about what i actually /like/ about Fashion Dreamer. i was super super disappointed my first time playing not only because i immediately held it to exact same standards as a style savvy game, but also because by itself it felt quite unfinished.

with my very first time playing i felt like after 2 hours or so i had already seen all the game had to offer. and while i wasn’t wrong and the gameplay just had to grow on me, still i wasn’t all that motivated with the goals you had to complete or the rewards it gave you. it also doesn’t help that there isn’t anything all that challenging about creating lookits for other muses, or any way to fail them.

yes, you have to create lookits to get epoints to make more clothes for your brand and level up so you can unlock even more clothes for your brand but ah, that part isnt really all that impressing. its just fine

i can appreciate all the effort that went into the clothes making process though, that’s definitely the most impressive part of this game. i’d say its the most impressive thing out of all the fashion games ive ever played. i have soo much fun making my own clothes! as an artist i feel like my creativity has no limits and i can literally make whatever i want, however i imagine it. for me, this one amazing feature alone is enough to carry the rest of the games mediocrity.

once i have an idea for a piece of clothing i think would look nice, i can just take out FD and create what i thought of immediately. even though i forgot about it for so long, for a brief period as an adolescent i really really wanted to be fashion designer and this feature reminded me of my silly wish and made me love it all the more

i also like the photo egg stuff, the poses are all super cute and i like the expressions the muses make. im very glad that they put in a scrapbook feature that allows you to save specific ensembles (that and no way to filter clothes by color were probably my biggest complaint) i already have a bunch of outfits saved in my notebooks that i absolutely adore. i do wish they were prettier backgrounds for notebooks though

and the event stuff.. is just fine. it's not the worst thing in the world, i enjoy creating outfits for character or player muses out of all but it also isnt that fun. a little grindy and annoying, but just fine. if this game had a story or plotline to follow i think i would be able to enjoy it alot more maybe? running around cocoons doing vague influencer-like tasks just isnt all that engaging for me.

the last thing i'd like to say about FD is that i actually do get happy when ppl like my stuff. like wow, they actually like my product! it does make me kinda feel like i do have a semi successful brand that people are paying attention to. ofc most of my reasons for designing clothes is because i was inspired too, but getting those fake like notifications make me want to display them just in case others would like them too.

in conclusion, all of this to say what exactly?? i enjoy Fashion Dreamer now! i like it quite a lot, i find it enjoyable and satisfying, and it scratches those fashion related itches ive been having but didn't know how to make them go away. i really love being able to create clothes exactly how i imagine them, and i enjoy being able to dress my oc's up so prettily and accurately. i also really enjoy the overall art direction of this game, the backgrounds really caught my eye and they all stand out individually in my mind.

im not 100% sure but i think FD is popular in japan? which makes me happy because i know overseas and english speaking fans of style savvy really dislike this game, especially upon initial release. i was one of them but now i can say i dont hate this game at all anymore. once i stopped comparing everything to style savvy, for what it is, is just fine. the reason why i made this long ass post in the first place was because FD already gets SOO much hate online from everyone, and i think its a little unwarranted. if this me talking about everything i dislike about FD this post would probably be much longer lmao, but i didnt want to add to all the flack it gets. if you stopped playing after a few hours like i did i'd say its definitely worth a second chance! just see it for what it is and you'll have a much better time

[lauranceofmeteli]

3, 7, 16?

03. which characters do you think deserve better? which characters do you think deserve less?

could be predictable and just say laurance deserves better (which he does) but thinking abt it i could sit and list characters forever. me when im in a "setting up interesting character arcs and plotlines and never following through on them" competition and my opponent is jess.

for less i think id have to say aaron. i dont Hate him i just dont think he ever shouldve been more important than the rest of the cast. the gradual rise of him being an occasional character in mcd s1 to challenging aph for protagonist status in mystreet is crazy. tho tbf he has more going on to deserve his plot importance in late mystreet than he ever did in mcd.

07. best dynamic in the series? like, whenever these characters are onscreen your brain just explodes?

a lot of laurance duos do this for me.... laur and aph, laur and vylad, laur and sasha.... i could go on. i just think he plays off a lot of the characters he interacts with very well. yes im fond of laurance how could you tell.

it would be hard to choose a solid Best tbh. i can explode over any characters.

16. favorite blogs, artists, and writers?

THIS IS EVEN HARDER THAN THE DYNAMICS ONE.... everyone still hanging around current aphmau fandom is so talented its crazy.

would be here all day if i listed my fave blogs and tbh i dont read enough mcd fanfiction to have any fave authors come to mind..... fave artists off the top of my head umm jurassiccraft mcdreference vyladromeave raspberrywiskey wistfel venom-scythe renaissaniccatherine uhhhhh im most definitely forgetting ppl i like a lot of art. pls check these ppl out tho they rule

and ofc if u want to see the best aphmau fanart of them all go to tumblr blog aphmau-on-main and look at the icon....... you will not be disappointed......

[wvbaandtheboys]

Dear Brother

Piston Hondo, down on his luck after a match gone horribly wrong, seeks comfort in minor things. However, having failed to be comforted by his closest friend, he meets a person. One he never expected to see again.

GOOD LORD this took forever oof im going to sleep-

Piston’s breath hitched as his eyes shot wide open.

The lights that hung over the ring burned his eyes as he took in the sight of their beaming intensity all at once. His surroundings were still wavering in the clutches of disorientation, slowly normalizing as sound crept back into his ears. A cacophony of screams and curses from an (at least, to him) invisible crowd greeted him as he came back to reality.

He was laid on his stomach, arms resting on either side of him with his head laying on its side. The taste of blood somewhat saturated his tongue. He poked around, and felt his mouthguard was loose from his bottom row of teeth.

His entire body ached as he tried to move anything, feeling weighted to the ground. And all he wanted to do was to get up, so badly. He wanted to get away from everything around him. Shame, and equally sorrow, plagued his mind as he tried to push himself off the ground onto his knees.

He succeeded after a few painful attempts. He looked in front of him, to the opposite side of the ring.

Piston Hondo was a fighter who prided himself on being humble, disciplined, and fair. As such, he was one of the most well renowned boxers that Branch A had to offer. He showed respect towards anyone he fought no matter who they were or how they acted, would fight to the best of his abilities, and then move onto the next regardless of if he won or not. Despite any loss he received bringing great disappointment to him, that wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own, so he never made any of his negativity known to his opponent.

No matter what.

Unfortunately, Piston harbored a great deal of anger within him, and had kept it that way for countless matches. It was steadily fueled whether it was a win or loss, made solely by the cocky taunts and “belittling” glances his opponents would give while weaving around the ring. Sometimes, it got to the point where he was honestly on the verge of exploding in rage. But he always held himself back. Always.

While that rage undoubtedly chewed away at his mind, his strong sense of discipline forbade him from acting on it. That was a lesson engraved in his mind from a very early age, long before he even began boxing. Never raise your hand against someone in anger, no matter how much they may seemingly or realistically deserve it or not. All it will bring you is regret.

And Piston promised himself that he would never do it.

Or so he thought.

Aran Ryan. There wasn’t anyone in Branch A who wasn’t familiar with the name, nor the man himself. An infamous trickster, prankster, you name it. Any profession associated with negative or mischievous connotations, Aran was the first to come to his mind.

A looney, scruffy troublemaker that consistently made it practice to not only taunt and provoke his opponents, but have the audacity to be one of the most flagrant examples of a cheater there was. Jumping off the ropes to headbutt unprepared opponents, bringing fierce elbows to their jaws, ungracefully taking one last swing as he fell t0 the ground.

It infuriated Piston. How could a boxer lack such simple common courtesy and sportsmanship?

Piston held great disdain for Aran. He didn’t as a person by any means (despite everything he pulled outside of the ring), but he found little worth a shred of respect when it came to Aran as a boxer. And it seemed as though Aran was well aware of that fact. And oh, did he dig under Piston’s skin.

Piston knew very well how strong he was: he unsurprisingly held back quite a bit of that strength in the ring, being a seasoned Martial Artist and all. He was limited to only his fists in boxing, but that never bothered him. Nor did that make him forget where the rest of his power was.

He knew, if push came to shove, that he could make anyone who came looking for a tooth and nail fight regret it for long after he was finished with them. (Not that he would do such a thing.) But Aran seemed to know that too; and, he was even willingly trying to make that part of Piston emerge. Being the humble one that he was, he tried repeatedly to make peace with Aran and at least get him to understand that he wasn’t going to lash out at him. “No wonder ya can’t even pass Flamingo. Yer’ soft.”

Soft?

Soft?

Oh, Aran would’ve wished he were.

The arena was packed that afternoon. Fans waited excitedly, with verbally contained anticipation to see the fight that was about to unfurl before their eyes. Uproarious cheers commenced as Piston stepped into the ring, taking his stance in his corner. As expected, a mix of curses and excited screams sounded as Aran came in not too long afterwards.

The bell rang.

Piston instantly hurled a jab directly into Aran’s taunt. The Irish boxer’s upper body wobbled backwards, his leg grounding his boot against the mat to keep himself up. He bounced back with a bit of a stunned look, his lips already stinging from the impact. The other boxer didn’t even react, nor respond. He only stared, with his round, dark pupils fixated directly on Aran.

Aran began to do his usual shtick not too long into the match, maneuvering round the ring and trying to rile Piston up. Piston could replay those phrases in his head picture perfectly. That was just the product of how many times he had heard them before. Though he could, there was only one word that kept repeating.

Soft.

It wouldn’t stop. Even as he silenced Aran’s relentless redundancy with his fists, sending him to the mat after dodging his last ditch attempt of a punch as he collapsed. In tune, like a chant, it was said in that same condescending manner.

He didn’t feel relief even when the bell rang to signal an intermission, nor as he sat down to inspect the bruises left on his golden skin. “Soft…. Soft…. Soft….” It grew louder as he ran his gloves along them. His eyebrow twitched.

It only got worse when the second round commenced. Aran’s words dug deeper than they ever had before. A symphony in his head, composed of that same insufferable voice.

His composure began to slip. It became louder. And louder.

And louder.

He froze as he looked ahead. He saw the crumpled Aran struggling to prop himself up with his elbow, shivering uncontrollably in pain and covered in dark, purple bruises. His face… oh, his face… It was haunting.

His right cheek was swollen to what honestly looked like the size of a cantaloupe, disturbingly bulging. His mouthguards had been knocked clean out of his mouth, a pained drool dribbling from his inflamed, purple-red lips. Labored breathing escaped from Aran, his chest rose and fell erratically, periodically interrupted by a hurt moan or gurgly cough.

That wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part… was his eye.

The left socket was empty, crimson trickling down from the brim to his cheek. Blood running like water from a black socket where an eye once was. His left eye was gone.

Piston hit him so hard, his eye came out.

Horror overtook Piston instantly. His eyes went wide, pupils shrinking as he fully took in what was in front of him. Aran was severely hurt, and it was because of him. Because he gave in.

Because he let his anger take over.

It was his fault.

“It’s your fault.”

“It’s your fault.”

“It’s your fault.”

“You hit him.”

“You hit him.”

“You hurt him.”

“You hurt him.”

“It’s all because of you.”

His heartbeat quickened, his mind raced as he was powerless to stop the voices. They repeated those phrases, over and over, drowning out all other sounds and making his ears ring. His surroundings faded once more into nothingness, becoming black shapes that blended together. The only thing he could see in this space, the only thing he could focus on, was Aran’s writhing, bleeding form on the mat.

It felt like an hour had passed before medical staff got a hold of Aran. They had to haul him off the floor, and hold him up to prevent him from curling inwards in pain. Piston saw one of them speak, but heard nothing. From reading their lips, however, they said:

“Someone needs to find his damn eye before the cleaning crew shows up.”

And just like that, Aran was gone. Piston was alone in the ring. All the guests had already vacated the arena before he came back to reality, and so it was just him. Stunned in the large space, with the jumbotron overhead a black screen.

“Piston.” A voice called to him, a familiar Southern accent. He couldn’t find the words to reply. “Piston.” It called again, louder. A large hand touched his shoulder, gripping it and giving him a gentle shake. He blinked, and slowly turned his head to look up at Hugger. “...C’mon. Let’s get you outta here.” A troubled expression was on the Canadian’s face, one not even someone like him could mask.

The two boxers walked together towards the Major Circuit locker room. Hugger pushed open the door, and they entered. The mashed up aroma of incense and fragrant perfume made him scrunch his nose, giving a quiet “egh”. Tiger and Don must have done their usual shtick before heading out.

Hugger gave a heavy exhale as he sat down, feeling his spine relax as he laid his back against the wall. (Constant back pain wasn’t the best thing to live with.) He kept his arm wrapped around Hondo.

He tried to say something for a few minutes. Anything to make his friend feel better. He rubbed his shoulder gently with his calloused fingers, trying his hardest to think of what to say that would satisfy both sides. His mouth opened to say something, but a soft drone came out instead before fading back into silence. He smacked his lips to give it another shot, but he had nothing.

“...I… I don’t know what to say...” He admitted, looking towards Hondo with a defeated tone. He felt awful not having anything to ease his pain, but he had to be honest. It’s what Piston would’ve wanted. Piston shifted, folding his arms with a solemn nod of his head. “...You do not need to say anything, my friend. I.. I understand.” It wasn’t easy for either of them to see each other like that.

Hugger let out a dissatisfied sigh, and patted Piston’s back. Piston lowered his head. “It was my fault anyhow. I should have…” He paused. “....I should have known better than to let it get to me.” The other boxer didn’t really understand that sentiment. Hugger was a firm believer of karma, and this was exactly what karma stood for. He wasn’t out to get anyone, of course, but if the world wanted something for someone, it would happen.

Aran got what he deserved, was what Hugger thought. But it was obvious that Hondo and him didn’t share the same view. He just seemed to take all the blame, without considering what caused it. But he could partially see why he blamed himself. What happened in the ring, while just in his view, was still rather brutal. He’d never seen such fury cause that kind of damage before. Especially from a fighter as obedient to discipline as Hondo.

“...I sincerely hope that Aran recovers swiftly.” Piston straightened up, rising to his feet. “...Yeah.” Hugger replied in a quiet voice. “You headin’ out?” He asked. “Yes. I just need to.. clear my head.” He walked to his locker and retrieved his bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, my friend. Oyasumi nasai.” He said goodbye, heading towards the door. “Night, Hondo.”

“...Hey.” Hugger spoke up. Piston paused, his hand on the door. “Hm?” “...Take it easy, y’ hear?” The other boxer requested with a look of sadness in his eyes. “...I will. I promise.” Piston nodded his head once more, before exiting the locker room.

Piston gave a “hmph.” At least the somewhat cold weather justified his wearing a jacket. It wasn’t for the cold, honestly. He just didn’t want anyone to see the bruises on his arms. He strolled down the sidewalk, feeling the rushing air of cars speeding by. The bright street lights illuminated the entire road, accompanied by the multicolored lights coming from the window panes of shops and other buildings. It was a busy night, for sure.

He was headed to a local sushi joint that he was a regular at. He had struck up a mutual friendship with the chef that ran the place. It was nice having someone like himself to talk to. He had hope that he could forget what happened, just for tonight, with some delicious food.

The exterior of the restaurant was that of a quaint shack, with wooden frames and brightly lit windows. On the very top, plastered onto a long white wooden sign, was kanji that translated to “The Sushi Hut.” He couldn’t help but give an internal chuckle at that. Creative name, huh?

He pushed the door open, hearing the pleasant chime of the familiar bell. “Ah! Hondo-san. Oyasumi nasai. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” The chef grinned, his plump face lighting up with joy at the sight of the boxer. “Indeed. Oyasumi nasai.” Piston smiled a little. Just that simple greeting had him feeling slightly better already.

The inside of the restaurant was kind of cramped, but still homey. Polished, richly colored wooden walls, with a large fish tank with many sizes and colors of fish sitting on a table at one of the corners. A colorful jukebox sat on the opposite corner, playing hushed ambient music. Red ribbons tied to the ceiling suspended various messages on vertical white sheets, also in Japanese, saying things like “Eat up!” and “Enjoy your meal.”

Hondo looked at the bar. There was one other person sitting there, at the far end of the stools. They were hunched over a bit, dressed in a white jacket and navy blue jeans. Though, there was one thing that stood out to him. The person in question had an oddly familiar head of short, wild black hair.

He couldn’t help but try and think. Where had he seen that before? Why did he feel like he knew that person?

“Hondo-san?” The chef snapped his fingers on a whim. “Aha. Aren’t you going to come eat?” Piston looked over to him. “Oh. Yes. My apologies.” He cleared his throat before walking to one of the bar stools and having a seat. “I take it you’ll be having your usual?” The chef leaned onto the bartop. “Yes, please.” Piston nodded.

“Alright. I’ll have it ready in a few minutes.” He turned, quickly disappearing through a swinging door. The salty smell of fish wafted from the open door for a moment, filling the room temporarily before dissipating. It was a smell that Piston knew well, and enjoyed.

Once the chef had gone, though, he couldn’t help but turn his attention back to the black haired stranger. Now that he was seated as well, he could see their face: it too, was familiar. He had an oddly shaped face, somewhat comparable to his own, with a similarly large protruding nose and dark pupils. However, it appeared less defined, and was smoother compared to his slightly sunken cheekbones and laugh lines.

He inclined his head towards them. He wanted to get a closer look, but at the same time, he didn’t want to disturb them, nor get caught staring intently at someone he only thought he knew. But it was all too intriguing to simply glance over.

“Hondo-san, your food is ready!” The chef emerged from the kitchen once again, holding a wooden platter with sushi slices leaning against each other like toppled dominos. There was also a glass container with soy sauce, and chopsticks bundled neatly in plastic. The boxer abruptly snapped out of his focus, and turned his head with a nod. “You have my thanks, my friend.” Hondo thanked him as he set the platter down, taking the chopsticks and removing the covering.

On the platter was a basic serving of makizushi. A very common choice of sushi outside of Japan, yes, but he enjoyed it. He picked up a piece, and dipped it in the soy sauce before popping it in his mouth. A wave of peacefulness washed over him, and he found himself smiling wider.

For no particular reason, he looked around. It was typical for his eyes to wander while eating. He looked at the stranger once again, and noticed they were laying their head down on the table, their hood pulled over their head.

“Hey. Wake up. You’ve got a job to do after we close up.” They physically reacted when they heard the chef, and quickly returned to looking at the bartop after jolting awake. He paused. “You know, Hondo-san, he looks kind of like you, in a way.” He lounged on the bartop, propping his chin on his pudgy fingers.

Hondo acknowledged this quietly, then continued to eat. He thought deeply, wondering where he saw that face before. He knew him, that much he was sure of now. But where was he in his mind? What was his name? “You know, he’s a huge fan of yours. He talks about you during training.”

“Oh?” Piston raised a brow. Well, that wasn’t too out of the ordinary, he knew he was liked by a lot of people. The chef directed his gaze to the other man. “He’s interning for a job here, actually. Good worker. Nice boy, too.” He nodded. “I saw you looking at him earlier. Do you happen to know him?” “I believe I do, but his name slips my mind..”

“Would you perhaps like to talk to him, Hondo-san?” The chef asked. “I know he’d love to meet you.” Piston pursed his lips, neatly putting down his chopsticks back on the platter as he finished his meal. Well, why not? It’s not like he had anything important to do. “Of course.”

The chef strolled away, and tapped him on the shoulder. “Today’s a lucky day for you, bōya. Someone wants to see you.” The man turned his head up, then followed the chef’s point towards Hondo. A surprised expression appeared on his face, which turned to an odd excitement as he stared fixedly at the boxer.

“Well, go on now. Go.” The chef fluttered his hand in Piston’s direction. The man awkwardly stood up from his seat, fumbling with his jacket for a moment. He put his arms to his sides, his legs together, then bowed his head to the boxer. “I..It is an honor to be in your presence, Hondo-san!” His tone sounded rather pronounced, forcing down what was supposedly nervousness. But the words Piston heard were sincere.

“I…I watch all of your matches whenever I can attend! You’re a truly inspiring boxer!” Flattering. Really, it was. Piston gave a smile, and bowed his head in return after standing from his seat. “Hello. I thank you for your kind words.” He put his hands together at his stomach, much like he would in the ring. “What is your name?” Hopefully his name would solve this mystery.

“M-My name?...” He seemed a bit hesitant. “Yes, your name, please. I want to address you properly.” Piston kept a pleasant tone. “A-Ah, of course. My name… is Kei. I-It’s very nice to meet you in person, Hondo-san!”

His ears began to ring, electricity buzzing in his chest. He knew that name… Kei… Kei…..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Kei.

His eyes grew wide, pupils shrinking small as they could in realization. His mouth twisted into an open mouthed frown, eyebrows softening in a mix of nostalgia and ashamement.

Kei cocked his head, bewildered.

“..Kei…” Piston’s voice was quiet, gentle as could be from a man like him. “Ah-?” Kei looked a bit worried at the sudden change. “I-Is something… wrong?” He asked, taking a step back to give the boxer some space. Piston gave no reply, only standing still as countless memories flooded back to him.

This was no stranger. This was family.

The face, the hair, the voice… he knew all of them in an instant. The last time he had seen Kei was when Kei was still a young boy, around the age of 15, so it was no wonder he looked so different. His normally more prominent, shaped facial features had sunken with age.

“Err.. Hondo-san…? Are you okay?” The chef looked perplexed, now staring at Hondo as well with his thin eyes. Hondo remained quiet for a while longer. He took a step towards Kei, raising his arms with open palms, and kept advancing with the same expression. He cupped the other’s face, his pupils dilating as he seemingly came back to reality. “...It’s you… I remember now..!” The chef quietly shuffled towards the kitchen door, trying not to stare. “I.. I’ll just leave you two to talk.”

“...Y… You… remember me…?” Kei murmured, seeming genuinely surprised. The two brothers locked eyes with each other. Beads of tears began to form in Piston’s eyes, causing his pupils to shine in a way they hadn’t before. “...Of course… Of course I do.. Now I do. How could I not remember my younger brother?...” “I-I don’t blame you, I don’t!” Kei was quick to clarify. “You.. treated me as a fan earlier so.. That was why I was surprised. I… never thought you would recognize me.”

“I am so sorry, Kei. It is just that you’ve… grown.”

Kei looked at the floor, kicking his feet to try and think of something to say. But, honestly, he didn’t have much substance. He thought he’d never see his brother face-to-face again. He thought he’d just be an observer of his newfound career path, one fan cheering in the midst of hundreds. But, evidently, that night proved him wrong.

He looked back up, seeing tears streaming down his brother’s face. “Ah-?!” He jumped. He quickly took his thumbs to Piston’s eyes, trying to wipe them away. “I-I apologize if I hurt your feelings by saying that-! I.. I did not mean to.” They just kept flowing, no matter how much he tried. His expression became a bit desperate. “Please.. Please don’t cry…” “Kei.” Piston gently gripped his brother’s hands, returning them to his sides. “I’m just fine. You didn’t hurt my feelings.”

“I didn’t?...” Kei cocked his head. He was relieved, of course, but then why was Piston tearing up over seeing him? “No. I apologize, I just… I got very… emotional when I recognized you.” Piston smiled, wiping the rest of his tears away with his palms. “Oh. I.. see.” Kei slouched, pursing his lips as he rubbed his arm. Well, that explained it, he supposed.

“W-Well… i-if it wouldn’t inconvenience you…” Kei fidgitted. “I.. would like to catch up… but- if you don’t, that’s okay! Just.. meeting you here was enough! I-I am… very appreciative that you took the time to speak with me.” He was very dismissive of his own wants. It was endearing that he cared that much about Piston and his feelings, but Piston couldn’t help but feel a little saddened hearing him talk like that.

“Of course. I would love to.”

“Oh?” Kei looked surprised once again. “T-That’s… good to hear.” He was thrilled, Piston could tell, but he didn’t express it for whatever reason. “I.. know a very nice place not too far away from here! No one is.. normally there, so.. would you like to.. go there?” Kei straightened up, cupping his hands. “Sure.” Piston motioned to the door. “If you would kindly lead the way.” “Y-Yes! Let’s get going!” Kei sauntered to the entrance, holding it open for his brother. “After you.”

The two brothers walked through the flowery arch, and into what seemed to be a natural reserve. Brightly colored flowers sprouted from healthy bushels of leaves, droplets of water speckling their petals from the rushing streams of fresh water. Piston marveled at the sight. The moon’s rays shone perfectly onto the terrain, causing the world around them to appear almost dream-like in a gaussian blur glow. It was amazing.

“I.. started coming here to clear my head. It is rather calming.” Kei said. He held his brother’s hand and led him to a metal bench. The two sat down a short distance away from each other. Both sat in silence for a few minutes, apparently waiting for one to start their conversation.

“...How have you been, Kei?” Piston finally spoke up. Kei bounced his leg, fidgeting restlessly. “...I have been… alright, I suppose.” He said nothing more, but his eyes said that he wanted to. “What brought you to New York?” Piston asked again. “...” Kei clutched his pant legs, slouching a bit. “...Father sent me a while ago. He said I needed to.. do something with myself.” Piston turned his head a bit and frowned. He didn’t like hearing that.

Their father was a cold man, he couldn’t ever forget that. His stature, resting frown, scrutinizing eyes, all contributed to the unfeeling aura he carried. His exterior matched his interior: He was incredibly calculating, and unforgiving.

Piston and Kei used to be very close in their childhood. When they were kids, they would spend every waking moment of every day together. Kei would bring out a side of Piston that even he himself forgot existed. Memories of running through the bamboo shoots near their house, reading to each other, laughing the hours away, and even getting into a bit of trouble once in a while.

Everything changed when his trainer came along, though. His father monitored their sessions like a hawk. A brutal training regime slowly ate up any free time Piston had.

“I’m sorry, Kei. I do not think I’ll be able to come with you today.”

It started with those false promises. Repeated echoes of “I’ll come with you tomorrow.” or “I’ll catch up later on.” followed by that titular phrase: “I promise.” He’d see Kei nod his head, with hope in his eyes that they would be true. But they hardly ever were.

Eventually, they never were.

Seeing the joy progressively fade from his brother’s eyes was hard enough. But what followed those promises was even harder. Training would tire Piston out terribly, to the point where most times he’d just crash onto his bed and remain there for hours at a time. Unresponsive and exhausted.

Kei would rub his back, and ask, “Hide?... Do you.. want to go outside? ..Maybe read?” The few times he would actually give a physical reaction, it was just to give his brother a tired, regretful shake of his head. “Oh.. that’s okay then. …I hope you rest well, Hide.” Kei never seemed to blame him for anything. Though he was undoubtedly hurt, he never once questioned it nor complained.

After a certain point, they just stopped talking all together.

“I see.”

“...That was not the only reason.. I migrated to New York. It was also to.. follow your career.” Piston nodded. “Is that right that you’ve attended the majority of my matches?” He couldn’t help but give an amused smile at Kei’s wide eyed expression. “Y..Yes, of course! I.. I…” His eyes darted round. “...I admire.. your strength. Your style.. It is unmatched.”

Piston laughed. “Thank you.” It felt good to hear that from him, even if it was obvious he felt just a little strangely talking about it.

“..E..Even the one today.” …Oh no.

Piston’s face changed from pleased to sullen in an instant. Kei looked ashamed at that, but he continued. “...I’ve never.. seen you do something like that…” Piston shared the feeling of shame. But it cut deeper for another reason.

When he was growing into adolescence (nearing 18), his anger reached a fever pitch. The exertion combined with the pressure to constantly outperform himself, it created a special kind of rage inside of him. He used to be careless with his anger for a long while, becoming foul mouthed and irritable when he’d crack on any particularly bad day.

Even Kei got that kind of treatment from him once in a while. He’d come and try to talk with Piston to rekindle their friendship, only for his brother to tell him something similar to, “Don’t you have anything better to do than to bother me?” Seeing the hope extinguished from Kei’s eyes and posture always made him feel a little regret.

The events of one day changed that outlook forever.

Kei was getting tired of being used as a punching bag for Piston’s anger, but it was clear that he wasn’t trying to provoke him. He tried to speak firmly, but calmly to his brother to express how he felt. In fact, it seemed like Kei carried some sort of guilt. He thought he did something wrong, and was trying to correct it.

“I.. I just don’t know why you’re using me as something to get angry at, Hide.. I just want to understand what I’m doing wrong so I can do better!”

“I do not use you as a sponge for my anger. What nonsense are you on about?”

“Y…Yes you do! You always.. I want to help you feel better.. but.. you just keep pushing me away! What am I doing wrong?”

“I’m not pushing you away, Kei. I have my duties and they must be fulfilled. Look, I’m sorry that we don’t have the same amount of time we used to, but that’s no excuse for you to take it personally.”

“I.. H-How could I NOT take it personally…?! You’re my BROTHER, Hide! We live in the same house, we share the same room! How should I NOT take my own brother yelling at me PERSONALLY?!”

“Kei… Watch. Your. Tone.”

“NO! I.. I RESPECT YOU DEEPLY, HIDE! BUT I CAN’T… NO, I… WON’T STAND HERE AND LET YOU TELL ME HOW I SHOULD FEEL! …I… I HATE you…!”

“What did you just say to me?”

Oh, Piston never forgot the face Kei made when he came towards him. He was terrified. “H…Hide…? W..What are you doing…?” He remembered him murmuring.

It was like Piston took ten steps in just two. His face wasn’t red, he wasn’t shaking in anger, no. His eyebrows were furrowed, his gaze hardened, his fist was up. He didn’t look enraged. But he was.

He slammed his fist into Kei’s shoulder. Immediately Kei stumbled back, struggling to catch himself, and then…

CRASH!

Kei was laid over onto his knees, still and quiet. Broken glass surrounded his legs, covered in droplets of blood. When Piston’s eyes looked along his brother’s stomach, he realized that larger shards of glass had gone through his skin.

Blood dripped to the floor.

Drip… Drip…. Drip….

Piston’s anger quickly crystallized into horror when he realized what he did. It took him a moment or so before he was able to move again. He hurriedly picked his brother up and rushed him to their father. The injuries never had any dire consequences for Kei, as thankfully the shards hadn’t gone deep enough. But they did however leave scars on his stomach. Scars that wouldn’t ever fade.

Piston knew what Kei said was a lie. He knew exactly what it was like.

“....May I ask you something, Kei?” The boxer inquired, concise despite his growing emotions. “Of...Of course.” Kei nodded. Piston took a deep breath, and exhaled whatever tension he could get off his chest. He knew he wasn’t going to like talking about today. But he knew he was responsible.

And he felt that as Kei’s older brother, and as a boxer, he owed him any explanation or closure he could offer if he had any questions.

“..What did you think of the match today? ..How do you feel about what I did?” Piston asked. He reached out his hand towards Kei’s, brushing his palm with his fingertips. Kei allowed him to take one of them. The boxer rested his palm against the back of his brother’s hand on the bench.

“Huh?....” Kei blinked slowly. “...Why does that matter…?”

“I just want to know what your thoughts are.” It wasn’t completely a lie. He wanted to know. But, he also wanted to give Kei the time to talk, and the time to express feelings he didn’t get the chance to.

Kei stared into space for a while. He seemed to not know where to begin, but Piston could tell he had a lot on his mind. “...W…Well… I.. I think you… y.. you…” He cycled through words rather carefully. “..You may have… been a bit… uhm… misguided.. in your judgment.” That was putting it lightly.

“Hm.” Piston nodded his head. “…How did you feel about it?” Kei squirmed a little uncomfortably. He clearly didn’t like it, but he was very hesitant to say so outright. “…It’s okay. You have my promise that I will not feel that you think any less of me. Nor will I get upset.” The younger brother sighed, sitting up and continuing to rapidly bounce his leg.

“…I… I don’t fully.. understand why you did that. I feel.. confused.” Kei gestured with his hand. “From what I see in your ring mannerisms, you.. always seem to be.. err.. ‘in control’, if you get what I mean. B.. But you just seemed to snap out of nowhere…” He grabbed his shoulder, shying away from his brother.

“…Well… if it brings any kind of understanding, it was not exactly sporadic.” Piston explained. “…Me and that boxer… we… do not get along quite well.” Kei tapped his fingers against the bench for a while, idling mid conversation. “..I sort of see why, then. It is somewhat hard to tolerate unfavorable people… especially if they behave like him.”

“…But you did knock out his eye…” Kei muttered. He seemed to show a bit more emotion. “It was not his real eye. No.” Piston quickly corrected him. “It was a glass eye. You know, a prosthetic.” “Ah.” Kei grabbed his chest in a bit of relief. “That is a relief… wait, but glass eyes do not normally bleed-” Piston thought about that earlier. Seeing as it was glass, maybe it cracked when he punched him. Then, on the way out, it cut his socket.

Still grim, yes.. But it was a possibility.

“Anything can happen inside the ring. ..Even things you would think are not possible.” That wasn’t a lie either. There had been countless freakish occurrences and accidents in the history of the WVBA, all in the ring. He wasn’t up to date on all of them of course, but he was aware of their existence.

“I.. guess that’s true.” Kei said.

They both sat quietly for a while longer. A certain heaviness weighed down on both of them. It was difficult on its own for them to speak to one another, made all the more troubling by the recent events. An awkwardness, or hesitation, hung in the air when one spoke to the other. Piston hated it.

He knew exactly why it was there. And he was going to do his best to make it disappear.

“...I am truly sorry that you had to see that, Kei.” Piston lamented. “I never would have wanted you to experience that.” “...You.. do not… have to…” Kei tried to reassure him, but his words tapered off. “...Yes I do. I have many things I must apologize for.”

Piston let go of Kei’s hand, and stood from the bench. He sat down next to his younger brother, carefully wrapping his arm around Kei’s shoulder. Kei didn’t seem to react, strictly staring at the ground. “...I am sorry that we stopped talking so suddenly when we were younger.” Still, Kei did not say anything. “I knew it hurt you to see us both drift apart. Because of circumstances out of our control.”

“I promise you.. If I had any say in it, I would have set my boundaries. I would have much preferred continuing to spend time together when we were younger.” Piston admitted. He paused for a few moments, looking at his brother. Kei’s lip slightly quivered, only noticed because Piston looked closely.

“I am sorry that I was never able to spend time with you while I was training. ..I was always so exhausted after the sessions ended, I… could never find the words to respond to you.” Piston rubbed Kei’s shoulder. He could feel his sorrow growing by the minute, that guilt tugging at his heart. But he didn’t want to cry. Not yet.

“I know…” Kei uttered. There was an evident lump in his throat judging by his voice, but he was trying with all his might to hold back his own sadness. “I am sorry I always made false promises. Well.. I suppose they were not really false when they began.” Piston sighed. “But I just kept saying them. They held no meaning after a while… And I knew that it was… increasingly difficult for you to listen to me.” Kei shuffled a bit, giving a brief nod.

“…I could tell you just stopped believing me all together.” The older brother confessed, and once again looked at his younger brother. Kei’s eye twitched as he blinked rapidly, giving another regretful nod. There was a reason that Piston chose not to cry, though deeply wanting to.

He wanted Kei to. And he knew that, if he was the first to cry, Kei wouldn’t even entertain the thought. A strange bit of logic, but it was simply how Kei acted. If Piston could give his brother the safe space he needed to let his emotions out, that would be the thing that made everything better. (In that aspect, at least.)

“I.. I am sorry that I pointed my anger towards you-“ Piston paused abruptly, taking another deep breath. The swelling emotion in his chest was becoming unbearable, but he shoved it down regardless. “..And I am sorry that you felt that it was your fault I was doing so. ..It never was.” Kei audibly sniffled, but straightened up and took a sharp inhale.

“…I… I-” Kei attempted to comment, but he couldn’t even get two words out. He pursed his lips and stayed quiet. “…Come on..” Piston thought to himself. He tightened his grip slightly, and pulled his brother to lay his head on his shoulder (with no resistance, surprisingly.) “..I can admit now that I was deep in denial. I didn’t care who I snapped at. It didn't matter to me. All that I cared about was rebelling against the feelings I had.”

Piston bit his lip. Being honest didn’t only affect one of them. Piston had never revisited those feelings, nor did he ever think he would have to.

“You did not deserve the treatment I gave you. Any of it.” That was the phrase that nearly broke him. He covered his eyes with one hand, gritting his teeth and scolding himself. No. Not now. Just a little longer. Just hold off a little while longer.

Once he recomposed himself enough, he looked over to Kei once again. The other brother couldn’t hide his glossy looking eyes, and the slight tremble of his body. “…I’m so sorry… for hurting you that day.” He squeezed his brother’s shoulder a bit tightly again. “That is one of my deepest regrets. I am so sorry that I lifted my hand to hurt you. ..I never should have.”

Kei was on the verge of crying. But he refused because Piston was also close to tears as well. He was so close, and it was clear he wanted to. He needed to.

“After some time, it felt like we did not even know each other despite living in the same space.…What I did back then are some of the biggest regrets of my life. And I know… I could never fully forgive myself for doing such things to my family. …Neither do I expect forgiveness from you.”

“…H…. Hide….” Kei murmured in a wavering voice. Piston gripped his shoulder firmly. “But, know that I am truly sorry for not being a brother to you.”

Immediately, Kei slung his arms around his brother, shivering intensely. His face was buried deep into Piston’s shoulder. Piston idled for a moment before gently taking Kei into his own arms.

Piston knew he had done it.

Kei finally pulled back from his shoulder for a moment or so. His cheeks were soaked in tears, eyes puffy and red with waterfalls pouring non-stop. His mouth was open, maneuvering round to make sound, his neck jerked in the usual mannerisms of sobbing. Yet, no sound came from him. It was a silent cry, devoid of words.

“…You were always my brother Hide…! I never meant anything I said when we fought!… I… I…. Please forgive me—!” Kei sobbed, his voice cracking as he struggled to speak.

Piston gripped the back of his brother’s head, holding him in a solid embrace. The heaving inhales, whimpers and hushed wails Kei made were heartbreaking to hear. It caused Piston to feel tears start to trickle down his face as well. But, for once, he did not try to wipe them away.

“Kei… my brother… would you.. allow me one thing?” “..O-Of course…” Kei sniffled. “I’ll give you anything you’d want.”

“…If I may… I would love the opportunity to be a better brother. …All I could ever want for you is your happiness and safety. …Those are the only things that matter to me.” Piston rubbed Kei’s back, feeling his trembling begin to calm. “…So… would you… allow me back into your life?”

“Oh, Hide… You are more than welcome…!” Kei exclaimed. He pulled away, grasping his brother’s shoulders with a joyful smile. Seeing his eyes glimmer with hope made Piston smile the widest he had that day. “I missed you so much!”

Piston cupped his face once more, and pulled his forehead to lay against his own.

“I missed you too, dear brother.”

[iamthekarmapolice]

What happened with your broken earphones in 2011?

it's a longish story consisting of a sequence of inconsequential events, but the end result was that i got into radiohead and later made friends with a bunch of people on here

so in 2011 i was 15, just beginning to discover more 'current' music having previously mostly just listened to the classic rock my dad raised me on. my favourite band in the world was coldplay and mylo xyloto had just come out, which i was my first experience of being deeply disappointed by a beloved artist. i was poised to jump ship

my earphones break sometime in october or november, and my parents say there might be an unused set in the storage space in their room. i never found the spare earphones, but i did unearth my dad's old copy of guiness rockopedia an a-z of major bands from the 60s to the late 90s. as a bookworm and a classic rock geek of course i devoured it. i read it multiple times. thanks to that book if you name a semi-notable band from before the 2000s i can probably at least tell you what kind of music they made

radiohead's entry intrigued me. they looked interesting and the snarky write-up made their music sound like pink floyd. it sounded like ok computer was the best entry point for me, so i went on youtube and listened to airbag for the first time through the family laptop's shitty speakers and it was love at first note in a way i had never experienced before and haven't since.

radiohead basically dominated my life for about 2 years after that. i listened to tons of other artists at the time, but nothing has ever compared to the grip they had on me. in like april 2012 i joined tumblr as a harry potter fan/twilight hater but i was rapidly outgrowing the series by that point and i didn't care so much. on a whim i checked if radiohead fans had any kind of presence, and they did and i read everyone's posts and probably caplocked a bunch in response to them in order to make friends, and the rest is history

in retrospect i probably would have discovered radiohead inevitably at some point. like all the signs were there. but im glad it happened when it did because at 15-17 i was able to emotionally connect with their music in a way that i wouldn't. i remember the first time i heard Motion Picture Soundtrack, i felt such a heaviness it felt like i couldnt move my body for about half a day. that just doesnt happen anymore, even with the things i really really love

it was a really special time in my life that im glad is documented on this blog in some part, as painfully cringy as it can be to go through all those posts sometimes

[hanjist]

sonder.

content - struggling artist!hyunjin. gn!reader. angst.

warning - mini argument ig.

word count - 1914.

a/n - i got stuck within the end so i might delete and fix it to repost later but im not sure yet. not proof read.

“y/n, i have a favor to ask of you.”

it’s never good when he asks for a favor. it started with little things, like getting his paints at the store before you go home or helping him carry a canvas out for an art show. then it became serious; driving him from exhibition to exhibition so he can display his art, to having to stay hours with him at auctions. then it became a major problem in your own schedule, having to take several days off from work to the point you get warnings. then him having to ask for your help when it came to your shared bills and necessities. it just felt never ending with him.

“what is it now, hyune?”

“i have this art exhibition and-”

you put your finger to his lips.

“stop right there. i know what you’re gonna say. you need my help to drive you there, help with packing the canvases, and refill paints for new pieces.”

his eyes go wide as you basically read his mind. he gently grabs your wrist to take your finger off his mouth. as he opens his mouth to speak, you cover it again with your other hand.

“i know, i always know. don’t worry, ill take another day off.”

your voice filled with exhaustion, but hyunjin doesn’t seem to recognize it.

“yes! thank you, y/n! you’re the best.”

he plants a wet kiss on your cheek before skipping away to his designated art room. as he turns away, you wipe his sloppy kiss off your cheek then sigh as you watch him go back to his element. as much as you love him, it’s tiring to do all of this every other week.

with having to balance out your job as a corporate lawyer and his artistic talent, the cycle goes like this: having to attend client meetings and discuss the next case on your hands, all while hyune is at home preparing a new piece for another showcase. once you’re home, hyunjin asks you for another favor regarding his art, and you can never say no, which leads to you disappointing your team and clients as you take another day off. hyunjin prepares his canvases by finishing the last details and wrapping them carefully for the next showcase; while you are finishing up complaint calls from your company how you’re doing a lousy job and if you keep repeating your times off, your pto will be revoked and your pay will be cut, making you stress about bills you are now paying alone. then comes the showcase, where you’re driving from one hour to several hours, place to place, to please your boyfriend. having to stick beside him when it comes to potential buyers or critics who could display his art somewhere else. then having to go home in silence when another showcase has failed him. it’s always the same.

as you prepare dinner, tears start welding in your eyes. you’re stressed, exhausted, and tired. you just want a break from it all. you need time to relax, but the world won’t give you it.

“hyunjin, baby. dinner is ready.”

you peak into his art room, watching as he paints the canvas with a royal blue color. he hums when you call for him. he turns around, a soft smile on his face. whenever he looks at you like that, it’s like all your problems go away. but not tonight, not when you’re so overwhelmed with everything going on.

“thank you, honey. i should’ve made it for you… but i was so caught up with the sketching, i got ahead of myself and started painting. ill do it tomorrow, m’kay?”

you nod at him as his hand rests on your cheek. placing your own hand on top of his, you caress it carefully.

“okay.”

he said that last time too.

the day before the showcase, everything was a mess. you came home from work late, which stressed hyunjin out if you were gonna be able to make it or not, considering your work load. you tend to work overnight at the office, it’s more convenient for you.

“you had me worried sick! why didn’t you tell me you were gonna come home late?”

“didn’t bother, sorry. i’ll tell you next time.”

then, you had to make dinner. during this simple task you took up, hyunjin made it harder by rambling about his worries for tomorrow, right beside you.

“you know, i really hope this showcase will do it for me. i can really see myself having my big break tomorrow! do you think so too, y/n? i mean, it’s been a long journey, but im so confident in tomorrow! unless, maybe im just overthinking it. what if tomorrow is like any other showcase? but this one… this one could make or break my career.”

“…mhm.”

then right after dinner, you had to help pack his fragile pieces. covering every single one in multiple layers of bubble wrap, then wrapping it with paper, and finishing it off with twine to secure everything.

“make sure to make the knots tight as possible! i don’t want anything breaking.”

“yes, hyunjin.”

the final straw was work. you were preparing for tomorrow by putting hyunjin’s artwork in the trunk of your car carefully. as you made room for his stuff, you had completely forgotten about some papers for your case in the car. hyunjin was rummaging through the papers, getting them out of the way, until he saw the text on them.

“honey, your work. did you request time off for tomorrow?”

“yes, hyunjin.”

“are you sure?”

“im very sure.”

“m’kay. just making sure.”

he handed you the stack of your case papers in your hands. as you read through them, you had realized you had to attend an important meeting tomorrow regarding your clients case, which you weren’t able to find someone to cover for you.

“wait… hyunjin. i don’t think i can take you tomorrow.”

“what? but i thought you just said you requested time off?”

“i did, but i didn’t get anybody to cover this case. i have to go tomorrow.”

“you can’t!”

“what do you mean, ‘i can’t?’”

“honey, this showcase means so much to me! this could make or break my career. you need to find someone to cover you. this one exhibit could change our lives. it could benefit us.”

you sigh at him, fingers rubbing your temples.

“hyunjin, my work is important too. i can’t do it. im sorry. why not you just take my car tomorrow, ill take the train to work.”

“but i need your support, y/n.”

“and i need to work so we can pay off all these bills.”

“my career…”

“what career, hyunjin?

the words that came out of your mouth left hyunjin with a gasp. you quickly covered your mouth.

“oh. is that what you think of me? that my career is nothing, right? that im not as successful. okay, guess that’s how it is.”

waiting for your response, you stay silent. it’s enough of an answer for him. he looks at you with a blank face, tears welding in his eyes.

“hyunjin, i’m sorry- i didn’t mean it like that.”

you reach out for his shoulder, but he flinches away.

“no, it’s fine.”

he takes a deep breath before he speaks again.

“i’ll take the car tomorrow.”

you look at him with guilt, then it suddenly turns into a look of relief.

“i’ll take the train.”

before you even woke up, hyunjin was already out of the house. your car keys weren’t at its usual place on the kitchen counter. he’s left. as you make your way to the train station, you can’t help but feel some guilt for what happened last night. it’s not like you verbally said those things to him, he just assumed it. and he wasn’t wrong.

despite your doubt in him, hyunjin’s showcase went more than well. several art dealers had bought pieces of his to display in their own galleries, as well as some institutions who wanted to display his work in their private galleries and museums. everything was going so well for him, so how come he couldn’t feel happy about it?

after work, you decide to show up to his art showcase to apologize to him. you speed your way to the exhibition, not even bothering to take a glance at his work, only searching for him. you find him talking with a man slightly taller than him, an art dealer. he finally did it. you want to run up to congratulate him. you want to plant so many kisses on him. you just want to see him.

as the dealer shakes hands with hyunjin and turns away, you run up to him and hug him. he doesn’t reciprocate it back. due to the awkward skin ship, you let go of him.

“who was that? did he buy your work?”

“an art dealer, he did.”

“oh my gosh! you did it, hyune!”

he stays silent.

you awkwardly move your hair in your face behind your ear.

“look, im sorry about last night… i didn’t mean it like that. i just— i was frustrated.”

he blinks twice at you. no response. you start to explain yourself furthermore.

“hyune, my work is important too. you know that, right?”

he nods without a word.

“im sorry i lashed out on you last night. it wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”

“but you did.”

“i know! and im sorry.”

“you hurt me, y/n. you really made me feel like i was on my own. i trusted you with my worries and my feelings. i know you work, it’s important. but you always say yes to my showcases, how come this time you lash out on me? you know, i try so hard to support the both of us. i know my career isn’t one that isn’t promised with success, but you could at least have a little faith in me.”

now you’re silent.

“i do it all for you. you should know that. i pursue my passions because of you. i just wish you could recognize that.”

he sighs while tilting his head back. then he looks back at you with an emotionless face.

“i don’t really want to see you right now. let’s just talk at home.”

he turns away from you. you’re left alone standing. standing in front of a large canvas. one that he painted. painted of you.

it was you.

you were his muse.

but you were too overwhelmed to notice.

too upset to even give a compliment on his work.

how come he didn’t tell you about this one? was it supposed to be a surprise?

now, you really feel guilty.

you looked at the other canvases beside the large one. one titled “how the mind works.” a self portrait, displaying his corrupt thoughts, but the center is a daisy. the first ever flower he got for you. the other one was a painting of a bouquet of roses. the bouquet he gifted you when he asked you to be his girlfriend. as you viewed more of the paintings, most were just bouquets of flowers. all of them you recall on certain dates you went on.

it didn’t hit you back then. but now, you come to your senses.

he’s just as complex as you are.

his life is just as difficult as yours.

and despite everything, he keeps going just for you.

another thought hits you again.

you just hurt someone else’s baby.

you made him feel like a burden.

but he never was and never will be.

[1d1195]

I am in California! Specifically southern California so yeah it's always warm lol but that's the problem, it's been cold (cold for me which is 50-60sih) and it's very confusing since this isn't our usual weather! Plus it's also been really windy and the wind is cold lol And yeah sadly the timing was THE WORST!!!

It's okay that you chose to not go! like you knew your limit, you knew that it was something that wasn't going to be too enjoyable for you. especially if you had other things on your mind. It's not right that she made you feel bad about that even if you expressed that you were busy/didn't feel up for it. and even if you didn't say something about feeling off, respecting your choice is a MUST and knowing you, you probably declined in a nice way! So being upset that she couldn't respect that is valid! And being an independent person is good! like the fact that you can do things by yourself is something that a lot of people struggle with! there's nothing wrong about that.

I swear I listen to other artists and not just Paramore/ Paramore adjacent music HAHA like aside from that lyric, Ive had Good Luck Babe! by Chappell roan, Lejos de Ti(away from you) and Run Your mouth by The Marias and Bewitched by Laufey and like many more stuck in my head and I just cant seem to get it to stop lol

I kinda liked that they didn't have sex right away! I think her mentioning that "he ruined it" showed how sometimes the healing process is tricky and never linear! either way I always trust you and the process so Im excited!

I try so hard understand it like i have taken those quizzes, read articles and even watched videos! But I simply cant lol Nad you are very sweet!!! also sort of off topic but do you think Belle was disappointed once she saw the Beast in his human form?

Im glad your week was better! I hope that you rest this weekend my love!! thank you so much! ILY!!!-💜

Okay, it's coming back to me, when we talked about ideal temps a while back and I mentioned that 50/60 is my ideal temp 🤣 DEF the worst timing though :( I'm sorry!

She didn't make me feel that way per se, but I can read between the lines of course. Idk it's frustrating. I never say no and then I feel extremely guilty when I don't (have I mentioned Dolcezza before?) I even suggested she go herself and she was like "well, no. I won't go alone." Which I think is really tragic. It's freeing to do things by yourself, in my opinion. I don't mean to sound like 'she should just do it' but you kind of have to start somewhere with it. I'm an early bird so I used to get breakfast by myself in college, go for walks/runs, and honestly I had a whole day by myself in the mornings when no one else was awake. It was either eat breakfast on my own or I wasn't eating until like noon when everyone else woke up and that wasn't what I wanted. Anyway...

That's so cute! I'll have to give them a listen :)

They will definitely be sexual in the next part hahahahahaha

I've seen a lot of memes and tik toks about Belle and her disappointment of Beast HAHAHAHA I'm not sure, honestly! I had to google before and after images to remember what I thought at the time. Not sure if we're talking animated or live-action too, but either way, he's pretty cute in human form. I'm sure it was probably an adjustment for her, regardless. I personally don't like long hair on guys all that much (except Harry obviously because he can do no wrong, ever) so I struggle with that in general but it was a reflection of the time, I suppose. I want to know why they didn't call him Adam. Like it already sucks he's a transformed monster and hates himself already. like why are they calling him The Beast? ESPECIALLY when they know he's a d-bag to begin with? Like why make him MADDER? That would certainly make me mad and I would probs throw Lumiere and Cogsworth out a window (sorry I'm apparently really passionate about Beauty and The Beast).

Hope this week starts off easier for you 💕

xoxo