#the rest is up to the artists and im never disappointed

[givemethedamnflowers]

As a fandom we read aftg and collectively thought "andrew has piercings" like 90% of fanart i see he has at the very minimum 3/4 earrings

And i just love that for us

[persephoneflouwers]

Anons ✨

[hanjist]

sonder.

content - struggling artist!hyunjin. gn!reader. angst.

warning - mini argument ig.

word count - 1914.

a/n - i got stuck within the end so i might delete and fix it to repost later but im not sure yet. not proof read.

“y/n, i have a favor to ask of you.”

it’s never good when he asks for a favor. it started with little things, like getting his paints at the store before you go home or helping him carry a canvas out for an art show. then it became serious; driving him from exhibition to exhibition so he can display his art, to having to stay hours with him at auctions. then it became a major problem in your own schedule, having to take several days off from work to the point you get warnings. then him having to ask for your help when it came to your shared bills and necessities. it just felt never ending with him.

“what is it now, hyune?”

“i have this art exhibition and-”

you put your finger to his lips.

“stop right there. i know what you’re gonna say. you need my help to drive you there, help with packing the canvases, and refill paints for new pieces.”

his eyes go wide as you basically read his mind. he gently grabs your wrist to take your finger off his mouth. as he opens his mouth to speak, you cover it again with your other hand.

“i know, i always know. don’t worry, ill take another day off.”

your voice filled with exhaustion, but hyunjin doesn’t seem to recognize it.

“yes! thank you, y/n! you’re the best.”

he plants a wet kiss on your cheek before skipping away to his designated art room. as he turns away, you wipe his sloppy kiss off your cheek then sigh as you watch him go back to his element. as much as you love him, it’s tiring to do all of this every other week.

with having to balance out your job as a corporate lawyer and his artistic talent, the cycle goes like this: having to attend client meetings and discuss the next case on your hands, all while hyune is at home preparing a new piece for another showcase. once you’re home, hyunjin asks you for another favor regarding his art, and you can never say no, which leads to you disappointing your team and clients as you take another day off. hyunjin prepares his canvases by finishing the last details and wrapping them carefully for the next showcase; while you are finishing up complaint calls from your company how you’re doing a lousy job and if you keep repeating your times off, your pto will be revoked and your pay will be cut, making you stress about bills you are now paying alone. then comes the showcase, where you’re driving from one hour to several hours, place to place, to please your boyfriend. having to stick beside him when it comes to potential buyers or critics who could display his art somewhere else. then having to go home in silence when another showcase has failed him. it’s always the same.

as you prepare dinner, tears start welding in your eyes. you’re stressed, exhausted, and tired. you just want a break from it all. you need time to relax, but the world won’t give you it.

“hyunjin, baby. dinner is ready.”

you peak into his art room, watching as he paints the canvas with a royal blue color. he hums when you call for him. he turns around, a soft smile on his face. whenever he looks at you like that, it’s like all your problems go away. but not tonight, not when you’re so overwhelmed with everything going on.

“thank you, honey. i should’ve made it for you… but i was so caught up with the sketching, i got ahead of myself and started painting. ill do it tomorrow, m’kay?”

you nod at him as his hand rests on your cheek. placing your own hand on top of his, you caress it carefully.

“okay.”

he said that last time too.

the day before the showcase, everything was a mess. you came home from work late, which stressed hyunjin out if you were gonna be able to make it or not, considering your work load. you tend to work overnight at the office, it’s more convenient for you.

“you had me worried sick! why didn’t you tell me you were gonna come home late?”

“didn’t bother, sorry. i’ll tell you next time.”

then, you had to make dinner. during this simple task you took up, hyunjin made it harder by rambling about his worries for tomorrow, right beside you.

“you know, i really hope this showcase will do it for me. i can really see myself having my big break tomorrow! do you think so too, y/n? i mean, it’s been a long journey, but im so confident in tomorrow! unless, maybe im just overthinking it. what if tomorrow is like any other showcase? but this one… this one could make or break my career.”

“…mhm.”

then right after dinner, you had to help pack his fragile pieces. covering every single one in multiple layers of bubble wrap, then wrapping it with paper, and finishing it off with twine to secure everything.

“make sure to make the knots tight as possible! i don’t want anything breaking.”

“yes, hyunjin.”

the final straw was work. you were preparing for tomorrow by putting hyunjin’s artwork in the trunk of your car carefully. as you made room for his stuff, you had completely forgotten about some papers for your case in the car. hyunjin was rummaging through the papers, getting them out of the way, until he saw the text on them.

“honey, your work. did you request time off for tomorrow?”

“yes, hyunjin.”

“are you sure?”

“im very sure.”

“m’kay. just making sure.”

he handed you the stack of your case papers in your hands. as you read through them, you had realized you had to attend an important meeting tomorrow regarding your clients case, which you weren’t able to find someone to cover for you.

“wait… hyunjin. i don’t think i can take you tomorrow.”

“what? but i thought you just said you requested time off?”

“i did, but i didn’t get anybody to cover this case. i have to go tomorrow.”

“you can’t!”

“what do you mean, ‘i can’t?’”

“honey, this showcase means so much to me! this could make or break my career. you need to find someone to cover you. this one exhibit could change our lives. it could benefit us.”

you sigh at him, fingers rubbing your temples.

“hyunjin, my work is important too. i can’t do it. im sorry. why not you just take my car tomorrow, ill take the train to work.”

“but i need your support, y/n.”

“and i need to work so we can pay off all these bills.”

“my career…”

“what career, hyunjin?

the words that came out of your mouth left hyunjin with a gasp. you quickly covered your mouth.

“oh. is that what you think of me? that my career is nothing, right? that im not as successful. okay, guess that’s how it is.”

waiting for your response, you stay silent. it’s enough of an answer for him. he looks at you with a blank face, tears welding in his eyes.

“hyunjin, i’m sorry- i didn’t mean it like that.”

you reach out for his shoulder, but he flinches away.

“no, it’s fine.”

he takes a deep breath before he speaks again.

“i’ll take the car tomorrow.”

you look at him with guilt, then it suddenly turns into a look of relief.

“i’ll take the train.”

before you even woke up, hyunjin was already out of the house. your car keys weren’t at its usual place on the kitchen counter. he’s left. as you make your way to the train station, you can’t help but feel some guilt for what happened last night. it’s not like you verbally said those things to him, he just assumed it. and he wasn’t wrong.

despite your doubt in him, hyunjin’s showcase went more than well. several art dealers had bought pieces of his to display in their own galleries, as well as some institutions who wanted to display his work in their private galleries and museums. everything was going so well for him, so how come he couldn’t feel happy about it?

after work, you decide to show up to his art showcase to apologize to him. you speed your way to the exhibition, not even bothering to take a glance at his work, only searching for him. you find him talking with a man slightly taller than him, an art dealer. he finally did it. you want to run up to congratulate him. you want to plant so many kisses on him. you just want to see him.

as the dealer shakes hands with hyunjin and turns away, you run up to him and hug him. he doesn’t reciprocate it back. due to the awkward skin ship, you let go of him.

“who was that? did he buy your work?”

“an art dealer, he did.”

“oh my gosh! you did it, hyune!”

he stays silent.

you awkwardly move your hair in your face behind your ear.

“look, im sorry about last night… i didn’t mean it like that. i just— i was frustrated.”

he blinks twice at you. no response. you start to explain yourself furthermore.

“hyune, my work is important too. you know that, right?”

he nods without a word.

“im sorry i lashed out on you last night. it wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”

“but you did.”

“i know! and im sorry.”

“you hurt me, y/n. you really made me feel like i was on my own. i trusted you with my worries and my feelings. i know you work, it’s important. but you always say yes to my showcases, how come this time you lash out on me? you know, i try so hard to support the both of us. i know my career isn’t one that isn’t promised with success, but you could at least have a little faith in me.”

now you’re silent.

“i do it all for you. you should know that. i pursue my passions because of you. i just wish you could recognize that.”

he sighs while tilting his head back. then he looks back at you with an emotionless face.

“i don’t really want to see you right now. let’s just talk at home.”

he turns away from you. you’re left alone standing. standing in front of a large canvas. one that he painted. painted of you.

it was you.

you were his muse.

but you were too overwhelmed to notice.

too upset to even give a compliment on his work.

how come he didn’t tell you about this one? was it supposed to be a surprise?

now, you really feel guilty.

you looked at the other canvases beside the large one. one titled “how the mind works.” a self portrait, displaying his corrupt thoughts, but the center is a daisy. the first ever flower he got for you. the other one was a painting of a bouquet of roses. the bouquet he gifted you when he asked you to be his girlfriend. as you viewed more of the paintings, most were just bouquets of flowers. all of them you recall on certain dates you went on.

it didn’t hit you back then. but now, you come to your senses.

he’s just as complex as you are.

his life is just as difficult as yours.

and despite everything, he keeps going just for you.

another thought hits you again.

you just hurt someone else’s baby.

you made him feel like a burden.

but he never was and never will be.

[someghostwriter]

VOICE

shoto todoroki x fem idol!reader

tags: slowburn, singer!reader, pre-ua for a bit, angst, pining, complex family dynamics

a/n: i havent written todoroki before, actually ive only ever written bakugo but that was in 2018 so this may not be good!! Im bad at writing, but i feel like im slowly getting better! please let me know if you want more of this!!

prolouge // 1

PROLOUGE

You wish you could have become a hero. Instead, here you were, stuck in a different career path: to become a teen idol.

When your family found out your quirk had no real potential to be a hero, they chose to turn you into a star. Your quirk allowed your voice to hypnotize. Not to an insanely high degree, it just made anyone who heard your voice obsessed with it- You called it Voice, to make things simple. It came from your mom's siren quirk- one she used to become a hero. Your dad's quirk was to make people crazy, so that's probably where you got the obsessive part of your voice.

It didn't mean much. It just meant that since you were young, your parents forced you to take many voice lessons. To teach you how to sing, even if your quirk was activated constantly with no off switch. Just to make sure that one day, when you became a star, there would be no way that people wouldn't love you. 

You were 15, sitting on a park bench, realizing that your dream of being a hero would never come true. That your only realistic option was to be a star.

You waited there. as if someone was to come along, give you a better quirk, and tell you that you could be a hero. Someone to scoop you up and free you, not from being an idol, from being disappointed that you would never be able to save someone's life. not directly.

Tears welled up, and you were quick to look at the sky. You couldn't ruin your makeup, no way, your father would get on you for it. That you need to keep appearances proper and fresh. They loved you, that you knew. But they couldn't help but be harsh on you sometimes, to the point that it hurt your hopes. Especially with the idea of becoming a hero.

They were so quick to say that you'd never be a hero, why?

You sighed, knowing that this second-best option wasn't horrible. No, it was pretty awesome. You loved singing, and you knew you enjoyed your performances. But you could never get over your first dream. Someday you'd adjust to singing, and you'd be famous. You were sure of it.

Opening your phone camera to check and see that there was no makeup running down your face, you stood and began walking towards the studio that you were expected to be at soon. It might have been the middle of summer, but now that you got taken out of school to focus on becoming a teen idol, you were busy- a lot. The 15 minutes you sat in that park, debating your life choices was probably the most free time you had. The rest of it was spent recording songs and doing things with the public to increase your following. You were slowly but steadily gaining more followers and listeners since your first performance, which you hyped up a lot.

Your end goal was to become #1, which was going to be a challenge knowing that you were aiming that before high school even started you'd be high-ranked as an artist, but you didn't mind too much. It was ambitious, sure, but you had confidence in your voice. Even if it meant wearing outfits that you had no real opinion on but it wasn't your vibe. Even if it meant singing on a stage with eyes on you, so many eyes watching your every move. You could make enough money to have a stable life, you hoped. You hoped that you would have the break through every artist had.

if you didn't embarrass yourself first.

You sighed, picking up the pace to your studio, hoping that you wouldn't end up being late again. It was just around the corner, sure, but you knew there was a lot of leg traffic in this specific area. It made everything a lot harder, especially if one person ended up recognizing you. While good for publicity, it was awkward to be confronted- something you were yet to get use to.

Except, running into some guy in the less crowded area wasn't on your bucket list. You were too in your own world to see the guy in front of you, on the wrong side of the pathway and staring at the ground, and ran right into him. Embarrassing. You immediately backed up, spilling apologies that probably made zero sense with how quickly you were saying it. You looked at the boy in front of you, spurring one last apology before you realized how pretty this boy was.

Half red, half white hair. It wasn't a combo you usually saw, but you were curious about the idea of what quirk it might be related to, as it wasn't very normal to have dual-colored hair. Or maybe he dyed his hair. He was staring at you, too, but with more of a worried yet cold expression. It was intimidating, how pretty yet stone-cold he was. 

"Uh, hello?" 

Shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you realized you were staring for a little bit too long. Where did the time go? No idea. You sputtered more apologies, awkwardly fidgeting with your hands as you did.

"It's- I'm sorry I ran into you. Are you hurt?" He spoke with some kind of sincerity, but a lot more confusion than anything. Were you speaking that fast? You chuckled, fidgeting with your outfit a little.

"I'm okay, just caught off guard. Sorry, I didn't mean to run into you." You bowed your head a little, just to show that you were sorry. You looked back at the boy, swaying side to side, awkward silence ensuing, only showing the awkwardness between you two.

"Um, I need to go, but uh, nice meeting you?? Have a good day!" You spoke quickly, ducking around him and moving forward, leaving the boy confused in the middle of the walkway. That was embarrassing. You continued towards your studio, finally making it inside. You ushered yourself towards the lady at the front desk, checking yourself in before moving towards the back where the recording studio that you and your father were renting out for you.

Opening the door, you readied yourself for the sting of your father scolding you for being late- and the performance of the song you recently wrote. 

[grimreaperschild]

this is my first fic ever and it’s kinda short but any advice + if you wanna see more let me know

warnings: some wednesday level threat maybe ooc wednesday not sure but stalker/infactuated wednesday

not proof read bc im dyslexic and it hurts my brain but i hope you enjoy ❤️

Wednesday trudged into the quad at the start of the semester, she would never admit it but with the new year looming over her she’s slightly exited for what new things she can uncover, there’s chatter of a new student and she hasn’t given it a second thought, even though nevermores resident artist xavier had gifted her a phone she still refused to succumb to such trivial things as gossip, that was of course until she saw you, walking into the quad with slumped shoulders and a shy smile next to the new principle, her eyes lingered on you for far longer than she seemed acceptable cursing herself when you met her eyes confusion evident in your expression though behind it she could see some form of hope, pulling her eyes away from you she tuned into the conversation enid and yoko were having about you vaguely annoyed that her interest was peaked.

y/n pov:

the car ride with my dad to nevermore was silent, as was the goodbye the principle greats me kindly enough and i think maybe this was a mistake, this was supposed to be an adventure but i was proven wrong as we stepped into the quad, the amount of eyes on me making me slightly nervous, zoning out to avoid the lecture on the old space i feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end

snapping my head up i meet the eyes of a girl dressed in black with pigtails, the curiosity of why she has a different uniform out ways the thoughts of how captivating she is, turning and cutting off mr harrow i jester with my head “who’s that, the goth girl” he tilts his head with obvious disdain “y/n it’s not a good idea to get involved with the wrong crowd, that’s wednesday addams and by the looks of it you’ve caught her attention, i feel my condolences are in offer, let’s continue the tour” i nod once taking in the new information stealing one last glance she seems occupied with her group of friends fighting down the disappointment that flashes through me i turn on my heel and follow along the rest of my tour black uniform painted in my mind.

moving in was easy enough and within a few hours my room is looking more mine, being tired i decide to nap knowing i have a long day tomorrow.

wednesdays pov:

i let my feet carry me, overcome with the strange need to know where the new student that i now know is called y/n is dorming, to my utter dismay her dorm is only a few doors down, this is all panning out to be too easy convincing herself that’s the only reason she has interest in you, it’s easy and something to do, heading back to her dorm to fill thing in and have him keep tabs on you came more naturally than expected.

over the next couple of days she manages to secure seats that have a clear view of you in classes, if you notice her impassive stare you don’t let on, she learns that you can control fire from thing, her own research brings up noting but happy pictures of you and your family from years ago on social media, she stands in the shower for half an hour contemplating why instagram doesn’t seem that bad anymore, research online is so much easier than trialing behind you, as fascinated as she is with you, your not that important not yet anyway.

y/n pov:

the past few weeks settling in have been good, i’ve made friends with enid and her boyfriend ajax, the group is a little quirky but it works all the same, joining them for lunch in the quad has become a regular occurrence, so has my seat next to wednesday i’ve embarrassingly tried a few times to engage in conversation with her only to be meet with a steely glance or a roll of her eyes.

enid let’s out a groan as her head hits the table “we’ve only been here for a few weeks and im already struggling with classes, how is that even possible” i let out a low chuckle “comon it’s not that bad plus im sure nes here can help you, right” as i turn to her she’s already glaring at me the use of nickname obviously peaking her intrest “call me that again and i’ll cut your tongue out” turning back to the book she was reading, i give enid a thumbs up “nes is definitely down to tutor you” the sudden movement of wednesday getting up and stomping away makes me jump slightly ignoring the way disappointment rolls off me in waves. “we are going to the lake you should come with” i already know she’s giving me the puppy eyes and i sigh as i look up and my suspicions are confirmed “let me go to my dorm and grab my swim stuff” enid squeals as she jumps clapping in excitement

wednesdays pov:

i watch as she stands in the mirror nose scrunched as she tries on another bikini, eventually picking a dark red set, my eyes scan over her body gulping it in, as she closes her dorm room behind her i turn back to the bathroom im in taking note of what different shampoo she has, finally giving into the mental struggle i turn on my heel determined to get atleast one more glimpse of the colour red

[raytorosaurus]

bit of a weird ask but I saw a twitter post saying they were 'devastated' over what frank said in an interview about performing/writing in ls dunes compared to some other bands (theyre assuming that the 'other bands' means mcr because they cant think of the 20+ other bands that hes been in) and after reading it a second time it doesn't even seem that negative?? it just talks about different processes and his excitement for dunes, but I still feel down anyway now because of that reaction, and it really makes me doubt that part of the fandom's faith in the band and its members im kinda close to quitting the fandom because of this and idk how the tumblr/twitter gang here survives it y'all are troopers, im unsure how to avoid that kind of doomposting

sorry i totally forgot to answer this the other day, i hope you see this!

but yeah, i see the same thing and it is. pretty irritating haha. it speaks to the unrealistic traits and behaviours fandom has applied to these ppl over the years/decades - which are harmless enough on the surface, but left unchecked you end up with doomposting or disproportionate levels of discourse when one of them doesn't behave the way their textpostified personalities would have you believe hahaha. if frank isn't anything but reverential towards mcr then he must hate it. if gerard puts time and work into his artistic and career pursuits that aren't related to mcr he must be giving up on the band like he supposedly did in 2012. if ray, who hasn't done a single interview since 2016, isn't on stage showing frank public affection or admiring him on twitter, he must be bossy and arrogantly taking all the glory for mcr's guitar parts and musicality. if mikey does anything it's gotta have something to do with gerard or mcr because obvs he doesn't exist outside the band etc etc. again none of these things are like. problematic or bad**, just kind of. annoying to engage with as an adult in the space i go to enjoy myself hahaha.

but this specific discussion abt frank implicitly dissing mcr also cropped up after that podcast frank did with travis, where he discussed writing music with ls dunes vs every other band/project he's been involved in. which, let's remember, is a fucking lot. how many albums has frank made or been part of? too many to easily count. only about four or five of those were with my chemical romance. ls dunes is only set apart from the rest because they're currently active after mcr's huge reunion, and they're a supergroup so they're getting a lot of press attention. people have never batted an eye in the past when frank has discussed how great it is to be working with this or that musician on this or that album - it's just the timing of ls dunes and our own high hopes for new mcr music that make people take this one in particular so personally.

on top of that... we've always known mcr has a fraught and stressful writing process??? that is like. a major part of the lore? we're all compelled by the insane amount of unlikely success mcr achieved in their careers, and by the fact that they were always controversial. we reblog quotes about gerard saying mcr's purpose was always to be against something, to undermine expectations, to infiltrate, contaminate etc. i thought this was something we were all drawn to about mcr? so i'll never understand the shock and disappointment when frank makes the simple statement that writing with ls dunes is easier, less stressful, and more lighthearted than writing with mcr. like...duh it is? mcr have always been open about how much they put into writing albums - and also about how they're proud of what they created, and that they consider each other cherished family.

the most annoying part for me is when people take quotes about frank working with travis and twist them into some kind of dig at/criticism of ray. i can only assume these people aren't used to working with others in a creative capacity, especially long term, because i just totally can't understand where it comes from lol. as someone who's read/watched every guitar-related mcr interview i've ever been able to get my hands on: ray and frank have literally never been anything other than fully complimentary of, respectful to, and affectionate with one another. ray was far from the first guitarist frank ever worked with and leagues from the only one. also, creative partnerships are extremely complex and every one is completely unique, with it's own strengths and difficulties. if ray and frank didn't love playing with each other they wouldn't have done it for years and years. that doesn't mean frank can't vocally love playing with other guitarists??? these things are not contradictory and appreciating aspects of one creative partnership is not equivalent to bad-mouthing a different one? like that is just not how it works skdkdjd

anyway i think a lot of it comes down to the fact that, for us, we see these people as parts of my chemical romance. naturally, because that's the reason we know they exist! but all of these people live rich and full and complex lives like any other person. the only parts of those lives that we generally see much of are the my chemical romance parts. we look for mcr in everything they say, which is understandable but unrealistic. all we need to do it keep that in mind imo

**(tho ppl's tendency to pit ray and frank against each other for some reason, which used to be a way common but is unfortunately a sentiment i'm starting to see crop up again in some places, definitely can get. suspicious and uncomfortable. especially considering that frank is the fan favourite so these pointless comparisons tend to err in his favour, and in either direction they tend to be very shallow and uninformed anyway. but that's a separate conversation)

wow i literally did not intend to turn this into a giant essay im so sorry. kudos if you made it this far lol. and i feel you anon, it's discouraging and puts a bad taste in my mouth when i come to this fandom for fun and fulfillment. i wish i had better advice because im feeling a little similar but just try to remind yourself that other people's opinions are just that. i find it helps if you can curate your own dash/feed or make friends in more discussion-friendly spaces like dms or gcs or discord servers. or even a priv twitter account with a few like-minded mutuals where you can vent ur shared frustrations over things without making it a whole big deal HAHAHA. the less time you spend scrolling thru ppl's public posts and the more time you spend diving into interviews, podcasts, videos, the web archive etc to detach yourself a little from group fandom-think the better you'll probably feel about mcr tbh! also long as you have friends or close mutuals that's all that matters imo <3

[regina-cordium]

me? responding to a post i got tagged in? wild!

got tagged by @renninflight

Rules: always post the rules. answer the questions the person who tagged you has written and write eleven new ones. tag 11 new people and link them to your post. let them know you’ve tagged them

except. i never know who to tag for these. if u see this tagged ur it. ill put questions at the end

under cut, because as yall know im a Yapper

What's your favorite band/musician? (And tell me why! And if you've seen them live!)

I'm a Hozier girlie thru and thru. he was in boston in march AND HAD NOAH KAHN AND I COULDNT GO AND IM STILL SO DISAPPOINTED. A N D HE WAS AT BOSTON CALLING AND I C O U L D N ' T G O auuuuugh

What's something you're proud of?

i dont mean this in, like, a self deprecating way. but i honestly dont know what to say. i got dean's list a couple times in college. i won some kinda award and now my name is on a plaque in the english department, thats kinda dope (i, to this day, have no idea what it was for)

What's something you like about yourself?

i do tell my parents they overestimate how smart i am, but i will say i am p good with trivia/knowing random things. nothing better than getting most of a jeopardy board right (<- needs to go outside more)

What's something you would like to do, if money weren't an obstacle?

i would literally never leave school. i love learning things (see above)

What's something you do when you're anxious or stressed to calm down and relax?

listen to music, sometimes Very Loudly

Do you have a favorite author? (If so, who?)

im totally blanking, but i dont really think so? theres not really an author that i see and immediately go "oh i gotta read ALL of their stuff RIGHT NOW" yknow?

Do you have a favorite poet? (If so, who?)

emily dickinson. yes, i am gay, how'd you know?

Do you have a favorite artist? (You can probably guess the rest of this question!)

van gogh!!!!!!! i know its such a basic bitch answer, but i L O V E the impressionists

What's a movie or TV show that had a big impact on you? (Could be something you watched growing up, a movie you saw recently that made you emotional, something you've seen a lot, something you quote with friends and family, etc)

i would watch beauty and the beast on vhs CONSTANTLY growing up. tv show wise, definitely buffy and angel and charmed. watched them with ma growing up and they have absolutely shaped my interests since then. also, and i swear im not being sarcastic, supernatural. ma and i watched every goddamn episode together since the pilot and look at me now.

What's something you wish you could forget? (Could be something personal, or it could just be a gross or weird fact)

not to get Very Fucking Morbid, but my dad almost died when i was 12 and i'd super love to forget that, actually

What's something you'd like to change about the world?

I Cannot Emphasize Enough That You Should Care About Other People

okay here're my questions. if u got this far, u are doubly tagged. idk i never know who to tag.

Song you've had on repeat lately?

Favorite play/musical (or both!)?

Book/movie/show you think somebody should read/watch to understand you better?

What's your favorite poem?

What's immediately to your left?

Favorite dessert?

Somewhere you'd love to travel, if money/accommodations were no issue?

Tv show currently/last watched?

Do you think aliens are real?

Do you think ghosts are real?

Do you have overly specific requirements for a room when you're trying to sleep?

[canyonroads]

100 Albums // 2024

One of my resolutions for 2024 was to sit down and listen to more full albums, uninterrupted from beginning to end, with limited song-skipping. Here is where I'm compiling those albums + my thoughts on them as I go.

If you see this (which you might because Im pinning it for ease of access), you should reply or send me a message with your favorite album. I just may give it a listen! Thanks!!

How I'm choosing the albums: many of these are "I randomly found one song off this album, I've been meaning to listen to more". But some are just iconic, genre-defining albums that I know I'm doing myself a disservice by not listening to yet. But most are also blind suggestions! From friends and coworkers.

How I'm rating them: this is PERSONAL TASTE ONLYYYYYY. Some albums I acknowledge will be impossible to rate this way, but for the most part I am JUST rating based on MY taste. I'm trying to be open minded to any and all genre's but I'm aware my tastes lean indie.

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1. Self-Titled - Bon Iver (2011)

Rating: 4/10

Fav Songs: Holocene, Towers, Wash

Notes: I REALLY wanted this whole album to be like "Holocene" but overall it's pretty... Meh, save a few songs. The bits I enjoyed were experimental aspects that remind me of "33 God". I will listen to that album too at some point. I haven't given up on Bon Iver, anyway.

2. Get to Heaven (Deluxe vers) - Everything Everything (2015)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: The Wheel (is turning now), Only As Good as my God, Blast Doors

Notes: I absolutely LOVED this album. I've been obsessed with OAGAMG for years, and most of the album is just as good if not better. Love the post-modern, religious imagery and overall messaging. Not every song totally landed, though, which is why it's only an 8/10.

3. Nearer My God - Foxing (2018)

Rating: 6/10

Fav Songs: Nearer My God, Five Cups, Lambert

Notes: I listened to this album on a rainy Sunday morning while finishing a book, and I'd say that's the perfect way to listen to it. Solid mellow vibes and sweeping, yet gentle, instrumentals- but nothing that really knocked my socks off.

4. The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess - Chappell Roan (2023)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Pink Pony Club, HOT TO GO!, Red Wine Supernova

Notes: Almost a perfect album, to me. High points are danceable, low songs still catchy as fuck. One part Madonna, part Lemon Demon?? Its just great. However, I think the opening song 'FEMININOMENON' is awful. I couldn't even finish it. Only thing keeping this album from a 10/10.

5. Born in the U.S.A. - Bruce Springsteen (1984)

Rating: I can't rate this are you crazy?/10

Fav Songs: Downbound Train, No Surrender, Dancing in the Dark

Notes: I won't even try to rate this album because it's so classic and contextual. I really loved it, though- especially with an eye on the way Springsteen satirizes, critiques, yet appreciates masculinity and methods of American patriotism.

6. Fine Line - Harry Styles (2019)

Rating: 5/10

Fav Songs: Cherry, Fine Line, Adore You

Notes: Another tame background listen. A few bangers but the rest is very meh. Also included my second song skip on this entire list, which is never great. I will probably not listen to any more Harry.

7. Mystére - La Femme (2016)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Ou ve la Monde, Sphynx, Mycose

Notes: First foreign language AND rec album for an artist that I'd never listened to. Really cool stuff here, very experimental- some of it is more straightforward electronica, some of it almost 60s sounding Halloween beats, some psychedelic rock- but I really enjoyed it!

8. Put Yourself Back Together - Real Friends (2013)

Rating: 3/10

Fav Songs: Skin Deep, I've Given Up On You

Notes: Chose a short one to end January on 8, but I found this album tremendously disappointing. All in a row like this, the whininess of Real Friends REALLY starts to grate after about 3 songs. Its way beyond your usual pop punk whininess, too. By the albums end I was so grateful it was over.

9. Self-Titled - Vagabon (2019)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Flood, Full Moon in Gemini, Water Me Down

Notes: This album is very good, but the best songs are unfortunately the ones I'd already stumbled on. That isn't to say there wasn't some treasures to be found- and on continued listens, I think "In A Bind" could grow higher in my tastes. Overall, pretty damn good!

10. The Slow Rush - Tame Impala (2020)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Borderline, Breathe Deeper, On Track

Notes: GREAT album. Even the songs that don't stand out are so fucking funky, it's impossible to not groove. I listened to this while cleaning the kitchen at work and I was half-dancing through most of it. I'll listen to Currents at some point, too.

11. Pin-Up Daddy - Rett Madison (2021)

Rating: 10/10

Fav Songs: Pin-Up Daddy, God is a Woman, Fleas

Notes: Finally... a 10/10 album! Pin-Up Daddy is a song that impacted me very deeply upon first listen, and the rest of this is just as gutting. First album (of this list) to bring me to tears. Definitely not a listen-in-the-background album, Rett demands involvement in the stories.

12. You Are All I See - Active Child (2011)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Hanging On, High Priestess, You Are All I See

Notes: This album is really good- mixing R&B with 80s synth, and add this mans beautiful, Bon Iver-esque falsetto, its a dream. However, the worst bits of this album are definitely where he's trying to... *Sound* more black than he is (lol there's really no nice way to say it).

Also! This album led me to Ellie Goulding's cover of "Hanging On", and this next album...

13. Halcyon - Ellie Goulding (2012)

Rating: 1/10

Fav Songs: Hanging On

Notes: think I've avoided this album subconsciously. "Lights" is a 10/10 album for me, but this albums single "Anything Can Happen" is probably one of my most hated songs of the 2010s. Its awful. And I'm sorry to report that the rest of this album is just as bad- giving "overproduced" a new standard, losing every appealing and unique thing about "Lights". The dubstep beat running through the background of every song is SO grating and was actually starting to piss me off. The gem keeping this album from a total 0 is her cover of "Hanging On", which is very different from the original but feels like the only song that she put even an OUNCE of effort into.

14. Miss Universe - Nilüfer Yanya (2019)

Rating: 7.5/10

Fav Songs: Heavyweight Champion of the Year, Baby Blu, Safety Net

Notes: Great album that I listened to while deep-cleaning at work. Its high energy makes it good for cleaning, and I really enjoyed the pacing/content of the album breaks. Really atmospheric. Her voice is so unique and her range is just INSANE too.

15. Self-Titled - Elliott Smith (1995)

Rating: 6/10

Fav Songs: Good to Go, Needle in the Hay, The Biggest Lie

Notes: I've been meaning to get to some Elliott Smith forever- he is, after all, SO influential. I was vibing to his stuff- but nothing on this album really stood out much to me. That said- it's amazing how you can feel his influence on many other artists- Phoebe Bridgers, Frank Ocean, Bright Eyes... I especially felt that he was similar in tone to Sufjan Stevens, whom I just adore. Another great rec!

16. Self-Titled - Tracy Chapman (1988)

Rating: 💧/10

Fav Songs: Fast Car, Mountain O' Things, Talkin' Bout a Revolution

Notes: I don't know why I wasn't expecting this album to be SO political when, in my opinion, Fast Car is very political. But Tracy has a lot to say about being black, poor, a woman- not even to mention being gay. This album was trangressive and inspiring when it dropped, and it remains totally excellent.

17. Fantastic Planet - Failure (1996)

Rating: 5/10

Fav Songs: Dirty Blue Balloons, Saturday Savior

Notes: Another blind suggestion for a band I've never even heard of! Overall, very cool and super different from my usual stuff. Not totally MY vibe, but this album has a lot to offer musically. I even watched a biography video about Failure afterwards because I was so interested in their process.

This album also REALLY made me want to listen to a full Tool album, so...

18. Lateralus- TOOL (2001)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Schism, The Grudge, Reflection

Notes: This album rules. I got stoned as hell and listened to it while doing a mindless task and it feels like I really, truly heard all of the instrumental and vocal depth of Tool for the first time. Not every song captured me, but considering Tool is known for LONG songs, I'm surprised it's as engaging as it is.

19. Crimes of Passion - Pat Benetar (1980)

Rating: 5/10

Fav Songs: Wuthering Heights, Hit Me With Your Best Shot, I'm Gonna Follow You

Notes: This album is certified mid. Her cover of Wuthering Heights is inspired, and obviously Hit Me is iconic, but this album offers little else besides a few decent guitar riffs. Any given song had clunky lyrics, and this is just not as refined as I know Pat Benetar to be.

20. Caught in Still Life - VAULTS (2016)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: One Last Night, Cry No More, Hurricane

Notes: Vaults basically encapsulates all my favorite musical things; electronic percussion mixed with pure instrumentals like strings, piano, harps, or chimes- plus clear, lovely vocals... It's just excellent.

21. Currents - Tame Impala (2015)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Eventually, Disciples, The Less I Know the Better

Notes: Told you I'd listen to Currents too! I liked this album a tiny bit more than The Slow Rush, I just feel like it was better put together and the flow between songs is perfect. But they are both SO good.

22. Modus Vivendi - 070 Shake (2020)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Morrow, Rocketship, The Pines

Notes: I think this is my first hiphop album of this project, which is insane. This is a good example of how the flow between songs can really make or break an album. I didn't love too many specific, individual songs- but I loved the structure as a whole which can carry a lot. I also just really enjoy 070 Shake. Her flow scratches an itch.

23. Proof of Life - Joy Oladokun (2023)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Changes, Somehow, Friends

Notes: Another album from someone I'd never heard of, and it's great! Joy was recommended to me as someone who likes Taylor Swifts 'Folklore' album. I would not say it's much like Folklore, but it was still wonderful. She has a voice like velvet and this folky, optimistic way with words. 'Changes' could have been my pandemic anthem.

24. 3.15.20 - Childish Gambino (2020)

Rating: 2/10

Fav Songs: 42.26, 35.31

Notes: (I listened to this literally days before he removed it from Spotify!) My partner reminded me of this album. Starting, I wondered to myself; "this album has been out for 4 years. Why haven't I heard any songs from it??" And the answer is; because they're bad. Like, really bad and not even in a fun way. Songs listed are listenable but I don't see myself revisiting them.

25. Strange Trails - Lord Huron (2015)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Meet Me In The Woods, The Night We Met, Fool for Love

Notes: After the last one, I wanted an album I knew would be decent so I went with Strange Trails as I'm familiar with a handful of songs. It's great! I just love the way he tells stories here. Reminiscent of old country. Redacted points for putting both 'Love Like Ghosts' and 'Meet Me In The Woods' on there. In theory, the idea of the same instrumentals with different lyrics is interesting- but in practice feels like LLG is the rough, first draft and shouldn't have been included.

26. Unreal Unearth: Unheard - Hozier (2024)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Empire Now, Too Sweet, Wildflower and Barley

Notes: Feels a bit cheat-y since I've heard almost every song off this 'album' except these new 4 added by the EP, but... I love Hozier and I wanted it to count because I listened to the whole thing like 3 times in a row. Lol.

27. Saved - Now, Now (2018)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: SGL, Powder, Drive

Notes: This album is one that inspired this project, so I'm not sure why it took me so long to get to it. Now, Now has a truly unique sound that I struggle to classify, and I simply love it. Catchy, yet complex and dreamy. Not every song landed but I'll be coming back to this one for sure.

28. Sahar - Tamino (2022)

Rating: 7/10

Fav songs: The First Disciple, The Longing, Fascination

Notes: Overall, I think I like his album Amir a bit more but this ones still great, especially to throw on in the background while you're doing stuff. His music is so layered and rich, truly unique sounding. That said, I REALLY don't like "Sunflower". I've heard it a few times now and I like it less every time.

29. Spirituals - Santigold (2022)

Rating: 6/10

Fav Songs: No Paradise, Fall First, Ain't Ready

Notes: This one was a coworker recommendation. Its just okay! I appreciate how unique and difficult to genre-fy Santigold is, but I prefer some of her older stuff. This album still has some great flow and a few total gems, though.

30. Beauty Pageant - The Bobby Lees (2018)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Radiator, Mad Moth, Bobby Lee

Notes: Another coworker rec and I LOVED this album. The old-punk feel is so visceral, you could close your eyes and be in an 80s basement show. I couldn't BELIEVE how new this is. Not a casual listen for sure, but worth a quick dive if you feel like going hard.

31. Чёрный альбом - Kino (1990)

Rating: 🎸/10

Fav Songs: N/A

Notes: This was a bestie-rec but I've listened to enough Kino in the past to know it probably wasn't gonna be my vibe! And sure enough, it wasn't. I enjoyed it ok, but most of the songs just blended together for me. I spent a good chunk of time reading about Kino afterwards, though. Cool band.

32. Older - Lizzy McAlpine (2024)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Drunk Running, Staying, Broken Glass

Notes: Lizzy's album before this, "ten seconds flat" is a 10/10 album that CONSUMED my entire Spotify wrapped last year. I was cautious about this album and I'm glad for it, because it's VERY different. I still enjoyed it a lot, but to compare the two would be weird. This is a melancholy album with very few highs, a jazz-feel throughout, and features Lizzy's voice on full display. A few songs bored me to death, musically, but a lot of it also brought me to tears!

33. Apocalypse Whenever (Deluxe vers) - Bad Suns - 2022

Rating: 3/10

Fav Songs: Maybe You Saved Me, When the World was Mine

Notes: This was my first truly disappointing listen. I love Bad Suns and "Disappear Here" is an album I just BLEED for. This one falls flat in comparison, and the culprit is obvious. I'm not sure if the singer is trying to sing in a more healthy way or something, but his voice just totally lacks that indescribable *thing* he does. The special sauce, if you will. As a result every song sounds really low-energy?

34. Fade to Bluegrass (a tribute to Metallica) - Iron Horse (2003)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Nothing Else Matters, Unforgiven, Wherever I May Roam

Notes: Another coworker rec, and the concept really intrigued me. I don't even like Metallica but I'm familiar enough with them to admit these songs went hard. A few I even feel lend themselves better to the Bluegrass genre?? A really interesting listen!

35. The Tortured Poets Department (ANTHOLOGY) - Taylor Swift (2024)

Rating: 4/10

Fav Songs: I Look in People's Windows, Down Bad, The Black Dog

Notes: Certifiably mid. Does not justify being 31 effing songs long. Most of it sounds indistinguishable from one another and I feel like she has stopped refining her first drafts. Every song is so densely packed with lyrics, I wish she would just write a poetry book or something. And this low energy 'talk-singing' thing she does now sounds awful and bores you to tears by the end.

36. The Secret to Life - FIZZ (2023)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: The Secret to Life, Close One, Hell of a Ride

Notes: My partner brought this supergroup to my attention because I listen to 3/4 of the members solo stuff. It's a great collab album and I LOVE the flow from song to song. Its also just a super fun listen.

37. Cure for Pain - MORPHINE (1993)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: All Wrong, In Spite of Me, Thursday

Notes: Forget bands I've never listened to, this one comes from a GENRE I've never touched; jazz fusion. My extreme enjoyment really caught me off guard, but the sax is one of my favorite instruments and it shines in all forms through Morphine. The real gem, though, is the singers voice, which delivers a rich rock and roll sound.

38. Here in Your Bedroom (2020) and Medusa (2018) - Kailee Morgue

Rating(s): 8/10 & 4/10

Fav Songs: Still, Dying to Live, Knew You

Notes: These are both small EPs, so I listened to them together expecting to mostly feel the same about them. I do NOT, so rating them together feels unfair now. My bad. The earlier stuff is very early. It's not unlistenable, but it's nothing exceptional. 4/10. However, the latter is AMAZING. I adore 'Still' and I think it's one of the best songs I've heard in recent memory. 8/10.

39. Floetic - Floetry (2002)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Say Yes, Headache, Sunshine

Notes: Holy fuck I loved this album. Another blind rec from a coworker that comes in the midst of some modern rap controversy. This album beautifully blurs the lines between hiphop, rap, jazz, and R&B, and it is SO horny. The sexual tension ripping out of this album is unbelievable and excellent. A few songs kind of bored me, but not usually for long before I was whisked away to enjoyment again.

40. 12 Golden Country Greats - Ween (1996)

Rating: 3/10

Fav Songs: I'm Holding You, You Were the Fool

Notes: Another coworker rec from a guy who was VERY upset I'd never given Ween a chance. This one is tough because I can see the clear and present artistry, but Ween is just... Not for me. I listened to some of their other stuff with similar disinterest, so it isn't just the stab at country, either. However, it's still a fun album.

41. けものたちの名前 - ROTH BART BARON (2019)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Skiffle Song, 春の嵐, iki

Notes: Felt like I was due another foreign language album, so I gave ROTH BART BARON a listen. Japanese folk is always awesome. I love the almost jazz-fusion aspects of this album and it has great flow. His voice is gorgeous, and the trumpet and violin are working overtime here.

42. Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes (2015)

Rating: 4/10

Fav Songs: Gemini, Gimme All Your Love

Notes: This started off badly because I asked my followers for R&B recs, and this is decidedly a funk/soul album. Not what I was looking for, and not my vibe. The singer is AMAZING but I feel like the rest wasn't quite as good as her, and a lot of it songs sounded very similar. Objectively, I'm sure anyone who likes funk would get more out of it.

43. Indian Yard - Ya Tseen (2021)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Close the Distance, A Feeling Undefined, Light the Torch

Notes: Cool album and another blind rec. Very varied and experimental, which is what you'd expect from an artist of physical design dipping into music for the first time. I LOVED the hiphop elements, and the features were great. A few songs were kinda droning and didn't totally land. But an incredible first effort.

44. Hit Me Hard and Soft - Billie Eilish (2024)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: WILDFLOWER, THE GREATEST, LUNCH

Notes: I probably would not have listened to this so soon after it was released if not for some friendly pestering. It's good! It's about what I expect from Billie. The slow songs are beautiful, she always captures this hollow feeling that is very special, and the fast songs are... Weird! I see the artistry, but I kinda wish there was something more surprising from Billie on this album.

45. Young, Loud, and Snotty - Dead Boys (1977)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Sonic Reducer, Down in Flames, High Tension Wire

Notes: GREAT rec from a coworker that I'm surprised I wasn't already aware of. I love classic punk, and the Dead Boys are CLASSICCCC punk. Still, they manage to capture something totally unique, too- especially in songs like High Tension Wire.

46. You're a Man Now, Boy - Raleigh Ritchie (2016)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Werld is Mine, Bloodsport '15, Keep It Simple

Notes: This was a spontaneous choice upon learning that Jacob Anderson has a music career. But boy, I don't regret it. Jacob's unique mix of trip-hop, soul, and rap create a truly incredible album. His flow is AMAZING, and his accent is so charming. Can't wait to listen to his other stuff AND he has a third dropping later this year.

47. Bigger, Better Faster, More! - 4 Non-Blondes (1992)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: Morphine & Chocolate, Superfly, Pleasantly Blue

Notes: I'd never listened to 4 Non-Blondes beyond Whats Up, and obviously that was a huge mistake. I didn't realize how capable Linda Perry was at sounding exactly like Robert Plant. But their rock sound is also so wholey unique, it's not totally fair to compare them to Led Zeppelin... I wish there was more!

48. Self-Titled - The Philharmonik (2018)

Rating: 6/10

Fav Songs: Underdog, Neon Lights, Good Day

Notes: Similar notes to the Ya Tseen album, though I liked it a bit less. Good stuff, can get experimental but you really feel the album flow.

49. Disco - Kylie Minogue (2020)

Rating: 10/10

Fav Songs: Magic, Real Groove, Supernova

Notes: Was starting to wonder if I'd ever get another 10/10! I was in a random Disco mood and stumbled on "Magic", which I immediately fell in love with. Listened to this whole album and it's just magical. I've never given Kylie much thought at all, but now I think she might be genius.

50. American Hero - Towa Bird (2024)

Rating: 7.5/10

Fav Songs: This Isn't Me, Boomerang, Sorry Sorry

Notes: The first of some summer releases I've been looking forward to. AMAZING first album from Towa. Her voice is so unique, but it's obvious that she's a guitar player first and foremost. The album is almost centered around the guitar, and it's pure artistry. Can't wait for more from her.

51. iTopia - The Get Right Band (2023)

Rating: 8/10

Fav Songs: The Outrage Machine, Generation Happy or Dead, Miracle/Mess

Notes: Very topical to the 'now'. Almost too topical, because I think it works best as a single, long listen. But oh, who cares. It's a great album and you can tell the artists put a lot of thought into it. Thanks to whichever follower recommended it!

52. Nebraska - Bruce Springsteen (1982)

Rating: Once again, how do I even rate him?/10

Fav Songs: My Fathers House, Nebraska, Open All Night

Notes: Another Springsteen listen. I think I liked the overall cohesiveness of "Born in the USA" more, but "My Fathers House" quickly became a favorite Springsteen song. It's so gutting. I don't even know how to write about it. This album is very emotional.

53. The New South - Hank William Jr. (1977)

Rating: Yee Haw/10

Fav Songs: You're Gonna Change, Tennessee, Feelin' Better

Notes: Another coworker rec that I was hesitant about because HWJ is such a colossal asshole. But I'm trying not to let the rep of the artist influence my work, here. Very cool album- reminiscent of Waylon Jennings and Hank's voice is just amazing.

54. Big Ideas - Remi Wolf (2024)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Toro, Wave, Cinderella

Notes: Another highly anticipated summer release, and it doesn't disappoint. Remi is a rising star and I just love her way with words.

55. RMCM - Richy Mitch & the Coal Miners (2017)

Rating: 4/10

Fav Songs: Evergreen, Lucerne

Notes: This was a coworker rec but I was already pretty familiar with Evergreen. I wanted this album to be better but it's not offensive, either. Good for a summer morning listen but there's not anything that impressive or unique about it.

56. Stick Season - Noah Kahan (2023)

Rating: 10/10

Fav Songs: Dial Drunk, Call Your Mom, Paul Revere

Notes: I've been hearing about Noah for years, but I just never got around to him. Now I'm kicking myself for it because this album is AMAZING.

57. Blame My Ex - The Beaches (2023)

Rating: 9/10

Fav Songs: Me & Me, Edge of the Earth, Blame Brett

Notes: These girls are unrealized genius. The satire of songstress womanhood that flows through this album is incredibly smart, only overshadowed by how genuinely catchy everything is. The speed up at the beginning of Me & Me is so god damn fun.

58. DEAD ENDS AND DIVERSIONS - Raleigh Ritchie (2024)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Security, Hyperventilating, iLie

Notes: Another anticipated summer album, and the first slight disappointment. This album is still great, but it's a bit of a let down from "You're a Man Now, Boy". It also feels quite short because a lot of it is live performances of older songs. But overall, Jacob never truly misses.

59. Halo - Bakar (2023)

Rating: 7/10

Fav Songs: Facts_Situations, All Night, Hell 'n Back

Notes:

60. Marigold - Pinegrove (2020)

Rating:

Fav Songs: Dotted Line, No Drugs, Endless

Notes:

61. Bismillah - Peter Cat Recording Co. (2019)

Rating:

Fav Songs: Floated By, Remain in Me

62. Paradise State of Mind - Foster the People (2024)

Rating:

Fav Songs: Lost in Space, See You in the Afterlife, Take Me Back

63. Discovery - Electric Light Orchestra (1979)

Rating:

Fav Songs: Last Train to London, Don't Bring Me Down, The Diary of Horace Wimp

64. I Saw the TV Glow OST - Multiple Artists (2024)

Rating:

Fav Songs: Starburned & Unkissed, Claw Machine, Psychic Wound

[maydaymayramble]

my final opinion on Fashion Dreamer as a devoted fan of style savvy

so as my initial deep disappointment started wearing off, i realised that it was unfair of me to immediately compare Fashion Dreamer to the style savvy series so harshly because they are simply not the same! Fashion Dreamer IS co developed by synsophia and it IS a game that revolves around fashion, but otherwise, they’re two completely different games.

you dont have a boutique to run, you dont have any customers to assist, you cant make connections with people and gradually make a name for yourself, you cant improve the community in the setting you live in etc etc. your just an influencer doing vague fashion related tasks and irl “influencer” would do.

tl;dr once i separated the two and started to see Fashion Dreamer as its own game instead a style savvy without any charm i started to really enjoy it for what it is

there’s no real tangible story here at all, only faint goals to achieve very early game and then thats it, and its obvious that they were never going for that in the first place because this isn't style savvy! its a completely new game that only has SynSophia working on in collaboration with another company. im sure if nintendo didn't decline SynSophia's request for another style savvy game on the switch this im sure this conversation would not exist but unfortunately, they did, and now we only have Fashion Dreamer, which serves as a descendant of a successor to the style savvy games.

now that i've managed to separate Fashion Dreamer and style savvy as two completely different games i want to talk about what i actually /like/ about Fashion Dreamer. i was super super disappointed my first time playing not only because i immediately held it to exact same standards as a style savvy game, but also because by itself it felt quite unfinished.

with my very first time playing i felt like after 2 hours or so i had already seen all the game had to offer. and while i wasn’t wrong and the gameplay just had to grow on me, still i wasn’t all that motivated with the goals you had to complete or the rewards it gave you. it also doesn’t help that there isn’t anything all that challenging about creating lookits for other muses, or any way to fail them.

yes, you have to create lookits to get epoints to make more clothes for your brand and level up so you can unlock even more clothes for your brand but ah, that part isnt really all that impressing. its just fine

i can appreciate all the effort that went into the clothes making process though, that’s definitely the most impressive part of this game. i’d say its the most impressive thing out of all the fashion games ive ever played. i have soo much fun making my own clothes! as an artist i feel like my creativity has no limits and i can literally make whatever i want, however i imagine it. for me, this one amazing feature alone is enough to carry the rest of the games mediocrity.

once i have an idea for a piece of clothing i think would look nice, i can just take out FD and create what i thought of immediately. even though i forgot about it for so long, for a brief period as an adolescent i really really wanted to be fashion designer and this feature reminded me of my silly wish and made me love it all the more

i also like the photo egg stuff, the poses are all super cute and i like the expressions the muses make. im very glad that they put in a scrapbook feature that allows you to save specific ensembles (that and no way to filter clothes by color were probably my biggest complaint) i already have a bunch of outfits saved in my notebooks that i absolutely adore. i do wish they were prettier backgrounds for notebooks though

and the event stuff.. is just fine. it's not the worst thing in the world, i enjoy creating outfits for character or player muses out of all but it also isnt that fun. a little grindy and annoying, but just fine. if this game had a story or plotline to follow i think i would be able to enjoy it alot more maybe? running around cocoons doing vague influencer-like tasks just isnt all that engaging for me.

the last thing i'd like to say about FD is that i actually do get happy when ppl like my stuff. like wow, they actually like my product! it does make me kinda feel like i do have a semi successful brand that people are paying attention to. ofc most of my reasons for designing clothes is because i was inspired too, but getting those fake like notifications make me want to display them just in case others would like them too.

in conclusion, all of this to say what exactly?? i enjoy Fashion Dreamer now! i like it quite a lot, i find it enjoyable and satisfying, and it scratches those fashion related itches ive been having but didn't know how to make them go away. i really love being able to create clothes exactly how i imagine them, and i enjoy being able to dress my oc's up so prettily and accurately. i also really enjoy the overall art direction of this game, the backgrounds really caught my eye and they all stand out individually in my mind.

im not 100% sure but i think FD is popular in japan? which makes me happy because i know overseas and english speaking fans of style savvy really dislike this game, especially upon initial release. i was one of them but now i can say i dont hate this game at all anymore. once i stopped comparing everything to style savvy, for what it is, is just fine. the reason why i made this long ass post in the first place was because FD already gets SOO much hate online from everyone, and i think its a little unwarranted. if this me talking about everything i dislike about FD this post would probably be much longer lmao, but i didnt want to add to all the flack it gets. if you stopped playing after a few hours like i did i'd say its definitely worth a second chance! just see it for what it is and you'll have a much better time

[lauranceofmeteli]

3, 7, 16?

03. which characters do you think deserve better? which characters do you think deserve less?

could be predictable and just say laurance deserves better (which he does) but thinking abt it i could sit and list characters forever. me when im in a "setting up interesting character arcs and plotlines and never following through on them" competition and my opponent is jess.

for less i think id have to say aaron. i dont Hate him i just dont think he ever shouldve been more important than the rest of the cast. the gradual rise of him being an occasional character in mcd s1 to challenging aph for protagonist status in mystreet is crazy. tho tbf he has more going on to deserve his plot importance in late mystreet than he ever did in mcd.

07. best dynamic in the series? like, whenever these characters are onscreen your brain just explodes?

a lot of laurance duos do this for me.... laur and aph, laur and vylad, laur and sasha.... i could go on. i just think he plays off a lot of the characters he interacts with very well. yes im fond of laurance how could you tell.

it would be hard to choose a solid Best tbh. i can explode over any characters.

16. favorite blogs, artists, and writers?

THIS IS EVEN HARDER THAN THE DYNAMICS ONE.... everyone still hanging around current aphmau fandom is so talented its crazy.

would be here all day if i listed my fave blogs and tbh i dont read enough mcd fanfiction to have any fave authors come to mind..... fave artists off the top of my head umm jurassiccraft mcdreference vyladromeave raspberrywiskey wistfel venom-scythe renaissaniccatherine uhhhhh im most definitely forgetting ppl i like a lot of art. pls check these ppl out tho they rule

and ofc if u want to see the best aphmau fanart of them all go to tumblr blog aphmau-on-main and look at the icon....... you will not be disappointed......

[wvbaandtheboys]

Dear Brother

Piston Hondo, down on his luck after a match gone horribly wrong, seeks comfort in minor things. However, having failed to be comforted by his closest friend, he meets a person. One he never expected to see again.

GOOD LORD this took forever oof im going to sleep-

Piston’s breath hitched as his eyes shot wide open.

The lights that hung over the ring burned his eyes as he took in the sight of their beaming intensity all at once. His surroundings were still wavering in the clutches of disorientation, slowly normalizing as sound crept back into his ears. A cacophony of screams and curses from an (at least, to him) invisible crowd greeted him as he came back to reality.

He was laid on his stomach, arms resting on either side of him with his head laying on its side. The taste of blood somewhat saturated his tongue. He poked around, and felt his mouthguard was loose from his bottom row of teeth.

His entire body ached as he tried to move anything, feeling weighted to the ground. And all he wanted to do was to get up, so badly. He wanted to get away from everything around him. Shame, and equally sorrow, plagued his mind as he tried to push himself off the ground onto his knees.

He succeeded after a few painful attempts. He looked in front of him, to the opposite side of the ring.

Piston Hondo was a fighter who prided himself on being humble, disciplined, and fair. As such, he was one of the most well renowned boxers that Branch A had to offer. He showed respect towards anyone he fought no matter who they were or how they acted, would fight to the best of his abilities, and then move onto the next regardless of if he won or not. Despite any loss he received bringing great disappointment to him, that wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own, so he never made any of his negativity known to his opponent.

No matter what.

Unfortunately, Piston harbored a great deal of anger within him, and had kept it that way for countless matches. It was steadily fueled whether it was a win or loss, made solely by the cocky taunts and “belittling” glances his opponents would give while weaving around the ring. Sometimes, it got to the point where he was honestly on the verge of exploding in rage. But he always held himself back. Always.

While that rage undoubtedly chewed away at his mind, his strong sense of discipline forbade him from acting on it. That was a lesson engraved in his mind from a very early age, long before he even began boxing. Never raise your hand against someone in anger, no matter how much they may seemingly or realistically deserve it or not. All it will bring you is regret.

And Piston promised himself that he would never do it.

Or so he thought.

Aran Ryan. There wasn’t anyone in Branch A who wasn’t familiar with the name, nor the man himself. An infamous trickster, prankster, you name it. Any profession associated with negative or mischievous connotations, Aran was the first to come to his mind.

A looney, scruffy troublemaker that consistently made it practice to not only taunt and provoke his opponents, but have the audacity to be one of the most flagrant examples of a cheater there was. Jumping off the ropes to headbutt unprepared opponents, bringing fierce elbows to their jaws, ungracefully taking one last swing as he fell t0 the ground.

It infuriated Piston. How could a boxer lack such simple common courtesy and sportsmanship?

Piston held great disdain for Aran. He didn’t as a person by any means (despite everything he pulled outside of the ring), but he found little worth a shred of respect when it came to Aran as a boxer. And it seemed as though Aran was well aware of that fact. And oh, did he dig under Piston’s skin.

Piston knew very well how strong he was: he unsurprisingly held back quite a bit of that strength in the ring, being a seasoned Martial Artist and all. He was limited to only his fists in boxing, but that never bothered him. Nor did that make him forget where the rest of his power was.

He knew, if push came to shove, that he could make anyone who came looking for a tooth and nail fight regret it for long after he was finished with them. (Not that he would do such a thing.) But Aran seemed to know that too; and, he was even willingly trying to make that part of Piston emerge. Being the humble one that he was, he tried repeatedly to make peace with Aran and at least get him to understand that he wasn’t going to lash out at him. “No wonder ya can’t even pass Flamingo. Yer’ soft.”

Soft?

Soft?

Oh, Aran would’ve wished he were.

The arena was packed that afternoon. Fans waited excitedly, with verbally contained anticipation to see the fight that was about to unfurl before their eyes. Uproarious cheers commenced as Piston stepped into the ring, taking his stance in his corner. As expected, a mix of curses and excited screams sounded as Aran came in not too long afterwards.

The bell rang.

Piston instantly hurled a jab directly into Aran’s taunt. The Irish boxer’s upper body wobbled backwards, his leg grounding his boot against the mat to keep himself up. He bounced back with a bit of a stunned look, his lips already stinging from the impact. The other boxer didn’t even react, nor respond. He only stared, with his round, dark pupils fixated directly on Aran.

Aran began to do his usual shtick not too long into the match, maneuvering round the ring and trying to rile Piston up. Piston could replay those phrases in his head picture perfectly. That was just the product of how many times he had heard them before. Though he could, there was only one word that kept repeating.

Soft.

It wouldn’t stop. Even as he silenced Aran’s relentless redundancy with his fists, sending him to the mat after dodging his last ditch attempt of a punch as he collapsed. In tune, like a chant, it was said in that same condescending manner.

He didn’t feel relief even when the bell rang to signal an intermission, nor as he sat down to inspect the bruises left on his golden skin. “Soft…. Soft…. Soft….” It grew louder as he ran his gloves along them. His eyebrow twitched.

It only got worse when the second round commenced. Aran’s words dug deeper than they ever had before. A symphony in his head, composed of that same insufferable voice.

His composure began to slip. It became louder. And louder.

And louder.

He froze as he looked ahead. He saw the crumpled Aran struggling to prop himself up with his elbow, shivering uncontrollably in pain and covered in dark, purple bruises. His face… oh, his face… It was haunting.

His right cheek was swollen to what honestly looked like the size of a cantaloupe, disturbingly bulging. His mouthguards had been knocked clean out of his mouth, a pained drool dribbling from his inflamed, purple-red lips. Labored breathing escaped from Aran, his chest rose and fell erratically, periodically interrupted by a hurt moan or gurgly cough.

That wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part… was his eye.

The left socket was empty, crimson trickling down from the brim to his cheek. Blood running like water from a black socket where an eye once was. His left eye was gone.

Piston hit him so hard, his eye came out.

Horror overtook Piston instantly. His eyes went wide, pupils shrinking as he fully took in what was in front of him. Aran was severely hurt, and it was because of him. Because he gave in.

Because he let his anger take over.

It was his fault.

“It’s your fault.”

“It’s your fault.”

“It’s your fault.”

“You hit him.”

“You hit him.”

“You hurt him.”

“You hurt him.”

“It’s all because of you.”

His heartbeat quickened, his mind raced as he was powerless to stop the voices. They repeated those phrases, over and over, drowning out all other sounds and making his ears ring. His surroundings faded once more into nothingness, becoming black shapes that blended together. The only thing he could see in this space, the only thing he could focus on, was Aran’s writhing, bleeding form on the mat.

It felt like an hour had passed before medical staff got a hold of Aran. They had to haul him off the floor, and hold him up to prevent him from curling inwards in pain. Piston saw one of them speak, but heard nothing. From reading their lips, however, they said:

“Someone needs to find his damn eye before the cleaning crew shows up.”

And just like that, Aran was gone. Piston was alone in the ring. All the guests had already vacated the arena before he came back to reality, and so it was just him. Stunned in the large space, with the jumbotron overhead a black screen.

“Piston.” A voice called to him, a familiar Southern accent. He couldn’t find the words to reply. “Piston.” It called again, louder. A large hand touched his shoulder, gripping it and giving him a gentle shake. He blinked, and slowly turned his head to look up at Hugger. “...C’mon. Let’s get you outta here.” A troubled expression was on the Canadian’s face, one not even someone like him could mask.

The two boxers walked together towards the Major Circuit locker room. Hugger pushed open the door, and they entered. The mashed up aroma of incense and fragrant perfume made him scrunch his nose, giving a quiet “egh”. Tiger and Don must have done their usual shtick before heading out.

Hugger gave a heavy exhale as he sat down, feeling his spine relax as he laid his back against the wall. (Constant back pain wasn’t the best thing to live with.) He kept his arm wrapped around Hondo.

He tried to say something for a few minutes. Anything to make his friend feel better. He rubbed his shoulder gently with his calloused fingers, trying his hardest to think of what to say that would satisfy both sides. His mouth opened to say something, but a soft drone came out instead before fading back into silence. He smacked his lips to give it another shot, but he had nothing.

“...I… I don’t know what to say...” He admitted, looking towards Hondo with a defeated tone. He felt awful not having anything to ease his pain, but he had to be honest. It’s what Piston would’ve wanted. Piston shifted, folding his arms with a solemn nod of his head. “...You do not need to say anything, my friend. I.. I understand.” It wasn’t easy for either of them to see each other like that.

Hugger let out a dissatisfied sigh, and patted Piston’s back. Piston lowered his head. “It was my fault anyhow. I should have…” He paused. “....I should have known better than to let it get to me.” The other boxer didn’t really understand that sentiment. Hugger was a firm believer of karma, and this was exactly what karma stood for. He wasn’t out to get anyone, of course, but if the world wanted something for someone, it would happen.

Aran got what he deserved, was what Hugger thought. But it was obvious that Hondo and him didn’t share the same view. He just seemed to take all the blame, without considering what caused it. But he could partially see why he blamed himself. What happened in the ring, while just in his view, was still rather brutal. He’d never seen such fury cause that kind of damage before. Especially from a fighter as obedient to discipline as Hondo.

“...I sincerely hope that Aran recovers swiftly.” Piston straightened up, rising to his feet. “...Yeah.” Hugger replied in a quiet voice. “You headin’ out?” He asked. “Yes. I just need to.. clear my head.” He walked to his locker and retrieved his bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, my friend. Oyasumi nasai.” He said goodbye, heading towards the door. “Night, Hondo.”

“...Hey.” Hugger spoke up. Piston paused, his hand on the door. “Hm?” “...Take it easy, y’ hear?” The other boxer requested with a look of sadness in his eyes. “...I will. I promise.” Piston nodded his head once more, before exiting the locker room.

Piston gave a “hmph.” At least the somewhat cold weather justified his wearing a jacket. It wasn’t for the cold, honestly. He just didn’t want anyone to see the bruises on his arms. He strolled down the sidewalk, feeling the rushing air of cars speeding by. The bright street lights illuminated the entire road, accompanied by the multicolored lights coming from the window panes of shops and other buildings. It was a busy night, for sure.

He was headed to a local sushi joint that he was a regular at. He had struck up a mutual friendship with the chef that ran the place. It was nice having someone like himself to talk to. He had hope that he could forget what happened, just for tonight, with some delicious food.

The exterior of the restaurant was that of a quaint shack, with wooden frames and brightly lit windows. On the very top, plastered onto a long white wooden sign, was kanji that translated to “The Sushi Hut.” He couldn’t help but give an internal chuckle at that. Creative name, huh?

He pushed the door open, hearing the pleasant chime of the familiar bell. “Ah! Hondo-san. Oyasumi nasai. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” The chef grinned, his plump face lighting up with joy at the sight of the boxer. “Indeed. Oyasumi nasai.” Piston smiled a little. Just that simple greeting had him feeling slightly better already.

The inside of the restaurant was kind of cramped, but still homey. Polished, richly colored wooden walls, with a large fish tank with many sizes and colors of fish sitting on a table at one of the corners. A colorful jukebox sat on the opposite corner, playing hushed ambient music. Red ribbons tied to the ceiling suspended various messages on vertical white sheets, also in Japanese, saying things like “Eat up!” and “Enjoy your meal.”

Hondo looked at the bar. There was one other person sitting there, at the far end of the stools. They were hunched over a bit, dressed in a white jacket and navy blue jeans. Though, there was one thing that stood out to him. The person in question had an oddly familiar head of short, wild black hair.

He couldn’t help but try and think. Where had he seen that before? Why did he feel like he knew that person?

“Hondo-san?” The chef snapped his fingers on a whim. “Aha. Aren’t you going to come eat?” Piston looked over to him. “Oh. Yes. My apologies.” He cleared his throat before walking to one of the bar stools and having a seat. “I take it you’ll be having your usual?” The chef leaned onto the bartop. “Yes, please.” Piston nodded.

“Alright. I’ll have it ready in a few minutes.” He turned, quickly disappearing through a swinging door. The salty smell of fish wafted from the open door for a moment, filling the room temporarily before dissipating. It was a smell that Piston knew well, and enjoyed.

Once the chef had gone, though, he couldn’t help but turn his attention back to the black haired stranger. Now that he was seated as well, he could see their face: it too, was familiar. He had an oddly shaped face, somewhat comparable to his own, with a similarly large protruding nose and dark pupils. However, it appeared less defined, and was smoother compared to his slightly sunken cheekbones and laugh lines.

He inclined his head towards them. He wanted to get a closer look, but at the same time, he didn’t want to disturb them, nor get caught staring intently at someone he only thought he knew. But it was all too intriguing to simply glance over.

“Hondo-san, your food is ready!” The chef emerged from the kitchen once again, holding a wooden platter with sushi slices leaning against each other like toppled dominos. There was also a glass container with soy sauce, and chopsticks bundled neatly in plastic. The boxer abruptly snapped out of his focus, and turned his head with a nod. “You have my thanks, my friend.” Hondo thanked him as he set the platter down, taking the chopsticks and removing the covering.

On the platter was a basic serving of makizushi. A very common choice of sushi outside of Japan, yes, but he enjoyed it. He picked up a piece, and dipped it in the soy sauce before popping it in his mouth. A wave of peacefulness washed over him, and he found himself smiling wider.

For no particular reason, he looked around. It was typical for his eyes to wander while eating. He looked at the stranger once again, and noticed they were laying their head down on the table, their hood pulled over their head.

“Hey. Wake up. You’ve got a job to do after we close up.” They physically reacted when they heard the chef, and quickly returned to looking at the bartop after jolting awake. He paused. “You know, Hondo-san, he looks kind of like you, in a way.” He lounged on the bartop, propping his chin on his pudgy fingers.

Hondo acknowledged this quietly, then continued to eat. He thought deeply, wondering where he saw that face before. He knew him, that much he was sure of now. But where was he in his mind? What was his name? “You know, he’s a huge fan of yours. He talks about you during training.”

“Oh?” Piston raised a brow. Well, that wasn’t too out of the ordinary, he knew he was liked by a lot of people. The chef directed his gaze to the other man. “He’s interning for a job here, actually. Good worker. Nice boy, too.” He nodded. “I saw you looking at him earlier. Do you happen to know him?” “I believe I do, but his name slips my mind..”

“Would you perhaps like to talk to him, Hondo-san?” The chef asked. “I know he’d love to meet you.” Piston pursed his lips, neatly putting down his chopsticks back on the platter as he finished his meal. Well, why not? It’s not like he had anything important to do. “Of course.”

The chef strolled away, and tapped him on the shoulder. “Today’s a lucky day for you, bōya. Someone wants to see you.” The man turned his head up, then followed the chef’s point towards Hondo. A surprised expression appeared on his face, which turned to an odd excitement as he stared fixedly at the boxer.

“Well, go on now. Go.” The chef fluttered his hand in Piston’s direction. The man awkwardly stood up from his seat, fumbling with his jacket for a moment. He put his arms to his sides, his legs together, then bowed his head to the boxer. “I..It is an honor to be in your presence, Hondo-san!” His tone sounded rather pronounced, forcing down what was supposedly nervousness. But the words Piston heard were sincere.

“I…I watch all of your matches whenever I can attend! You’re a truly inspiring boxer!” Flattering. Really, it was. Piston gave a smile, and bowed his head in return after standing from his seat. “Hello. I thank you for your kind words.” He put his hands together at his stomach, much like he would in the ring. “What is your name?” Hopefully his name would solve this mystery.

“M-My name?...” He seemed a bit hesitant. “Yes, your name, please. I want to address you properly.” Piston kept a pleasant tone. “A-Ah, of course. My name… is Kei. I-It’s very nice to meet you in person, Hondo-san!”

His ears began to ring, electricity buzzing in his chest. He knew that name… Kei… Kei…..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Kei.

His eyes grew wide, pupils shrinking small as they could in realization. His mouth twisted into an open mouthed frown, eyebrows softening in a mix of nostalgia and ashamement.

Kei cocked his head, bewildered.

“..Kei…” Piston’s voice was quiet, gentle as could be from a man like him. “Ah-?” Kei looked a bit worried at the sudden change. “I-Is something… wrong?” He asked, taking a step back to give the boxer some space. Piston gave no reply, only standing still as countless memories flooded back to him.

This was no stranger. This was family.

The face, the hair, the voice… he knew all of them in an instant. The last time he had seen Kei was when Kei was still a young boy, around the age of 15, so it was no wonder he looked so different. His normally more prominent, shaped facial features had sunken with age.

“Err.. Hondo-san…? Are you okay?” The chef looked perplexed, now staring at Hondo as well with his thin eyes. Hondo remained quiet for a while longer. He took a step towards Kei, raising his arms with open palms, and kept advancing with the same expression. He cupped the other’s face, his pupils dilating as he seemingly came back to reality. “...It’s you… I remember now..!” The chef quietly shuffled towards the kitchen door, trying not to stare. “I.. I’ll just leave you two to talk.”

“...Y… You… remember me…?” Kei murmured, seeming genuinely surprised. The two brothers locked eyes with each other. Beads of tears began to form in Piston’s eyes, causing his pupils to shine in a way they hadn’t before. “...Of course… Of course I do.. Now I do. How could I not remember my younger brother?...” “I-I don’t blame you, I don’t!” Kei was quick to clarify. “You.. treated me as a fan earlier so.. That was why I was surprised. I… never thought you would recognize me.”

“I am so sorry, Kei. It is just that you’ve… grown.”

Kei looked at the floor, kicking his feet to try and think of something to say. But, honestly, he didn’t have much substance. He thought he’d never see his brother face-to-face again. He thought he’d just be an observer of his newfound career path, one fan cheering in the midst of hundreds. But, evidently, that night proved him wrong.

He looked back up, seeing tears streaming down his brother’s face. “Ah-?!” He jumped. He quickly took his thumbs to Piston’s eyes, trying to wipe them away. “I-I apologize if I hurt your feelings by saying that-! I.. I did not mean to.” They just kept flowing, no matter how much he tried. His expression became a bit desperate. “Please.. Please don’t cry…” “Kei.” Piston gently gripped his brother’s hands, returning them to his sides. “I’m just fine. You didn’t hurt my feelings.”

“I didn’t?...” Kei cocked his head. He was relieved, of course, but then why was Piston tearing up over seeing him? “No. I apologize, I just… I got very… emotional when I recognized you.” Piston smiled, wiping the rest of his tears away with his palms. “Oh. I.. see.” Kei slouched, pursing his lips as he rubbed his arm. Well, that explained it, he supposed.

“W-Well… i-if it wouldn’t inconvenience you…” Kei fidgitted. “I.. would like to catch up… but- if you don’t, that’s okay! Just.. meeting you here was enough! I-I am… very appreciative that you took the time to speak with me.” He was very dismissive of his own wants. It was endearing that he cared that much about Piston and his feelings, but Piston couldn’t help but feel a little saddened hearing him talk like that.

“Of course. I would love to.”

“Oh?” Kei looked surprised once again. “T-That’s… good to hear.” He was thrilled, Piston could tell, but he didn’t express it for whatever reason. “I.. know a very nice place not too far away from here! No one is.. normally there, so.. would you like to.. go there?” Kei straightened up, cupping his hands. “Sure.” Piston motioned to the door. “If you would kindly lead the way.” “Y-Yes! Let’s get going!” Kei sauntered to the entrance, holding it open for his brother. “After you.”

The two brothers walked through the flowery arch, and into what seemed to be a natural reserve. Brightly colored flowers sprouted from healthy bushels of leaves, droplets of water speckling their petals from the rushing streams of fresh water. Piston marveled at the sight. The moon’s rays shone perfectly onto the terrain, causing the world around them to appear almost dream-like in a gaussian blur glow. It was amazing.

“I.. started coming here to clear my head. It is rather calming.” Kei said. He held his brother’s hand and led him to a metal bench. The two sat down a short distance away from each other. Both sat in silence for a few minutes, apparently waiting for one to start their conversation.

“...How have you been, Kei?” Piston finally spoke up. Kei bounced his leg, fidgeting restlessly. “...I have been… alright, I suppose.” He said nothing more, but his eyes said that he wanted to. “What brought you to New York?” Piston asked again. “...” Kei clutched his pant legs, slouching a bit. “...Father sent me a while ago. He said I needed to.. do something with myself.” Piston turned his head a bit and frowned. He didn’t like hearing that.

Their father was a cold man, he couldn’t ever forget that. His stature, resting frown, scrutinizing eyes, all contributed to the unfeeling aura he carried. His exterior matched his interior: He was incredibly calculating, and unforgiving.

Piston and Kei used to be very close in their childhood. When they were kids, they would spend every waking moment of every day together. Kei would bring out a side of Piston that even he himself forgot existed. Memories of running through the bamboo shoots near their house, reading to each other, laughing the hours away, and even getting into a bit of trouble once in a while.

Everything changed when his trainer came along, though. His father monitored their sessions like a hawk. A brutal training regime slowly ate up any free time Piston had.

“I’m sorry, Kei. I do not think I’ll be able to come with you today.”

It started with those false promises. Repeated echoes of “I’ll come with you tomorrow.” or “I’ll catch up later on.” followed by that titular phrase: “I promise.” He’d see Kei nod his head, with hope in his eyes that they would be true. But they hardly ever were.

Eventually, they never were.

Seeing the joy progressively fade from his brother’s eyes was hard enough. But what followed those promises was even harder. Training would tire Piston out terribly, to the point where most times he’d just crash onto his bed and remain there for hours at a time. Unresponsive and exhausted.

Kei would rub his back, and ask, “Hide?... Do you.. want to go outside? ..Maybe read?” The few times he would actually give a physical reaction, it was just to give his brother a tired, regretful shake of his head. “Oh.. that’s okay then. …I hope you rest well, Hide.” Kei never seemed to blame him for anything. Though he was undoubtedly hurt, he never once questioned it nor complained.

After a certain point, they just stopped talking all together.

“I see.”

“...That was not the only reason.. I migrated to New York. It was also to.. follow your career.” Piston nodded. “Is that right that you’ve attended the majority of my matches?” He couldn’t help but give an amused smile at Kei’s wide eyed expression. “Y..Yes, of course! I.. I…” His eyes darted round. “...I admire.. your strength. Your style.. It is unmatched.”

Piston laughed. “Thank you.” It felt good to hear that from him, even if it was obvious he felt just a little strangely talking about it.

“..E..Even the one today.” …Oh no.

Piston’s face changed from pleased to sullen in an instant. Kei looked ashamed at that, but he continued. “...I’ve never.. seen you do something like that…” Piston shared the feeling of shame. But it cut deeper for another reason.

When he was growing into adolescence (nearing 18), his anger reached a fever pitch. The exertion combined with the pressure to constantly outperform himself, it created a special kind of rage inside of him. He used to be careless with his anger for a long while, becoming foul mouthed and irritable when he’d crack on any particularly bad day.

Even Kei got that kind of treatment from him once in a while. He’d come and try to talk with Piston to rekindle their friendship, only for his brother to tell him something similar to, “Don’t you have anything better to do than to bother me?” Seeing the hope extinguished from Kei’s eyes and posture always made him feel a little regret.

The events of one day changed that outlook forever.

Kei was getting tired of being used as a punching bag for Piston’s anger, but it was clear that he wasn’t trying to provoke him. He tried to speak firmly, but calmly to his brother to express how he felt. In fact, it seemed like Kei carried some sort of guilt. He thought he did something wrong, and was trying to correct it.

“I.. I just don’t know why you’re using me as something to get angry at, Hide.. I just want to understand what I’m doing wrong so I can do better!”

“I do not use you as a sponge for my anger. What nonsense are you on about?”

“Y…Yes you do! You always.. I want to help you feel better.. but.. you just keep pushing me away! What am I doing wrong?”

“I’m not pushing you away, Kei. I have my duties and they must be fulfilled. Look, I’m sorry that we don’t have the same amount of time we used to, but that’s no excuse for you to take it personally.”

“I.. H-How could I NOT take it personally…?! You’re my BROTHER, Hide! We live in the same house, we share the same room! How should I NOT take my own brother yelling at me PERSONALLY?!”

“Kei… Watch. Your. Tone.”

“NO! I.. I RESPECT YOU DEEPLY, HIDE! BUT I CAN’T… NO, I… WON’T STAND HERE AND LET YOU TELL ME HOW I SHOULD FEEL! …I… I HATE you…!”

“What did you just say to me?”

Oh, Piston never forgot the face Kei made when he came towards him. He was terrified. “H…Hide…? W..What are you doing…?” He remembered him murmuring.

It was like Piston took ten steps in just two. His face wasn’t red, he wasn’t shaking in anger, no. His eyebrows were furrowed, his gaze hardened, his fist was up. He didn’t look enraged. But he was.

He slammed his fist into Kei’s shoulder. Immediately Kei stumbled back, struggling to catch himself, and then…

CRASH!

Kei was laid over onto his knees, still and quiet. Broken glass surrounded his legs, covered in droplets of blood. When Piston’s eyes looked along his brother’s stomach, he realized that larger shards of glass had gone through his skin.

Blood dripped to the floor.

Drip… Drip…. Drip….

Piston’s anger quickly crystallized into horror when he realized what he did. It took him a moment or so before he was able to move again. He hurriedly picked his brother up and rushed him to their father. The injuries never had any dire consequences for Kei, as thankfully the shards hadn’t gone deep enough. But they did however leave scars on his stomach. Scars that wouldn’t ever fade.

Piston knew what Kei said was a lie. He knew exactly what it was like.

“....May I ask you something, Kei?” The boxer inquired, concise despite his growing emotions. “Of...Of course.” Kei nodded. Piston took a deep breath, and exhaled whatever tension he could get off his chest. He knew he wasn’t going to like talking about today. But he knew he was responsible.

And he felt that as Kei’s older brother, and as a boxer, he owed him any explanation or closure he could offer if he had any questions.

“..What did you think of the match today? ..How do you feel about what I did?” Piston asked. He reached out his hand towards Kei’s, brushing his palm with his fingertips. Kei allowed him to take one of them. The boxer rested his palm against the back of his brother’s hand on the bench.

“Huh?....” Kei blinked slowly. “...Why does that matter…?”

“I just want to know what your thoughts are.” It wasn’t completely a lie. He wanted to know. But, he also wanted to give Kei the time to talk, and the time to express feelings he didn’t get the chance to.

Kei stared into space for a while. He seemed to not know where to begin, but Piston could tell he had a lot on his mind. “...W…Well… I.. I think you… y.. you…” He cycled through words rather carefully. “..You may have… been a bit… uhm… misguided.. in your judgment.” That was putting it lightly.

“Hm.” Piston nodded his head. “…How did you feel about it?” Kei squirmed a little uncomfortably. He clearly didn’t like it, but he was very hesitant to say so outright. “…It’s okay. You have my promise that I will not feel that you think any less of me. Nor will I get upset.” The younger brother sighed, sitting up and continuing to rapidly bounce his leg.

“…I… I don’t fully.. understand why you did that. I feel.. confused.” Kei gestured with his hand. “From what I see in your ring mannerisms, you.. always seem to be.. err.. ‘in control’, if you get what I mean. B.. But you just seemed to snap out of nowhere…” He grabbed his shoulder, shying away from his brother.

“…Well… if it brings any kind of understanding, it was not exactly sporadic.” Piston explained. “…Me and that boxer… we… do not get along quite well.” Kei tapped his fingers against the bench for a while, idling mid conversation. “..I sort of see why, then. It is somewhat hard to tolerate unfavorable people… especially if they behave like him.”

“…But you did knock out his eye…” Kei muttered. He seemed to show a bit more emotion. “It was not his real eye. No.” Piston quickly corrected him. “It was a glass eye. You know, a prosthetic.” “Ah.” Kei grabbed his chest in a bit of relief. “That is a relief… wait, but glass eyes do not normally bleed-” Piston thought about that earlier. Seeing as it was glass, maybe it cracked when he punched him. Then, on the way out, it cut his socket.

Still grim, yes.. But it was a possibility.

“Anything can happen inside the ring. ..Even things you would think are not possible.” That wasn’t a lie either. There had been countless freakish occurrences and accidents in the history of the WVBA, all in the ring. He wasn’t up to date on all of them of course, but he was aware of their existence.

“I.. guess that’s true.” Kei said.

They both sat quietly for a while longer. A certain heaviness weighed down on both of them. It was difficult on its own for them to speak to one another, made all the more troubling by the recent events. An awkwardness, or hesitation, hung in the air when one spoke to the other. Piston hated it.

He knew exactly why it was there. And he was going to do his best to make it disappear.

“...I am truly sorry that you had to see that, Kei.” Piston lamented. “I never would have wanted you to experience that.” “...You.. do not… have to…” Kei tried to reassure him, but his words tapered off. “...Yes I do. I have many things I must apologize for.”

Piston let go of Kei’s hand, and stood from the bench. He sat down next to his younger brother, carefully wrapping his arm around Kei’s shoulder. Kei didn’t seem to react, strictly staring at the ground. “...I am sorry that we stopped talking so suddenly when we were younger.” Still, Kei did not say anything. “I knew it hurt you to see us both drift apart. Because of circumstances out of our control.”

“I promise you.. If I had any say in it, I would have set my boundaries. I would have much preferred continuing to spend time together when we were younger.” Piston admitted. He paused for a few moments, looking at his brother. Kei’s lip slightly quivered, only noticed because Piston looked closely.

“I am sorry that I was never able to spend time with you while I was training. ..I was always so exhausted after the sessions ended, I… could never find the words to respond to you.” Piston rubbed Kei’s shoulder. He could feel his sorrow growing by the minute, that guilt tugging at his heart. But he didn’t want to cry. Not yet.

“I know…” Kei uttered. There was an evident lump in his throat judging by his voice, but he was trying with all his might to hold back his own sadness. “I am sorry I always made false promises. Well.. I suppose they were not really false when they began.” Piston sighed. “But I just kept saying them. They held no meaning after a while… And I knew that it was… increasingly difficult for you to listen to me.” Kei shuffled a bit, giving a brief nod.

“…I could tell you just stopped believing me all together.” The older brother confessed, and once again looked at his younger brother. Kei’s eye twitched as he blinked rapidly, giving another regretful nod. There was a reason that Piston chose not to cry, though deeply wanting to.

He wanted Kei to. And he knew that, if he was the first to cry, Kei wouldn’t even entertain the thought. A strange bit of logic, but it was simply how Kei acted. If Piston could give his brother the safe space he needed to let his emotions out, that would be the thing that made everything better. (In that aspect, at least.)

“I.. I am sorry that I pointed my anger towards you-“ Piston paused abruptly, taking another deep breath. The swelling emotion in his chest was becoming unbearable, but he shoved it down regardless. “..And I am sorry that you felt that it was your fault I was doing so. ..It never was.” Kei audibly sniffled, but straightened up and took a sharp inhale.

“…I… I-” Kei attempted to comment, but he couldn’t even get two words out. He pursed his lips and stayed quiet. “…Come on..” Piston thought to himself. He tightened his grip slightly, and pulled his brother to lay his head on his shoulder (with no resistance, surprisingly.) “..I can admit now that I was deep in denial. I didn’t care who I snapped at. It didn't matter to me. All that I cared about was rebelling against the feelings I had.”

Piston bit his lip. Being honest didn’t only affect one of them. Piston had never revisited those feelings, nor did he ever think he would have to.

“You did not deserve the treatment I gave you. Any of it.” That was the phrase that nearly broke him. He covered his eyes with one hand, gritting his teeth and scolding himself. No. Not now. Just a little longer. Just hold off a little while longer.

Once he recomposed himself enough, he looked over to Kei once again. The other brother couldn’t hide his glossy looking eyes, and the slight tremble of his body. “…I’m so sorry… for hurting you that day.” He squeezed his brother’s shoulder a bit tightly again. “That is one of my deepest regrets. I am so sorry that I lifted my hand to hurt you. ..I never should have.”

Kei was on the verge of crying. But he refused because Piston was also close to tears as well. He was so close, and it was clear he wanted to. He needed to.

“After some time, it felt like we did not even know each other despite living in the same space.…What I did back then are some of the biggest regrets of my life. And I know… I could never fully forgive myself for doing such things to my family. …Neither do I expect forgiveness from you.”

“…H…. Hide….” Kei murmured in a wavering voice. Piston gripped his shoulder firmly. “But, know that I am truly sorry for not being a brother to you.”

Immediately, Kei slung his arms around his brother, shivering intensely. His face was buried deep into Piston’s shoulder. Piston idled for a moment before gently taking Kei into his own arms.

Piston knew he had done it.

Kei finally pulled back from his shoulder for a moment or so. His cheeks were soaked in tears, eyes puffy and red with waterfalls pouring non-stop. His mouth was open, maneuvering round to make sound, his neck jerked in the usual mannerisms of sobbing. Yet, no sound came from him. It was a silent cry, devoid of words.

“…You were always my brother Hide…! I never meant anything I said when we fought!… I… I…. Please forgive me—!” Kei sobbed, his voice cracking as he struggled to speak.

Piston gripped the back of his brother’s head, holding him in a solid embrace. The heaving inhales, whimpers and hushed wails Kei made were heartbreaking to hear. It caused Piston to feel tears start to trickle down his face as well. But, for once, he did not try to wipe them away.

“Kei… my brother… would you.. allow me one thing?” “..O-Of course…” Kei sniffled. “I’ll give you anything you’d want.”

“…If I may… I would love the opportunity to be a better brother. …All I could ever want for you is your happiness and safety. …Those are the only things that matter to me.” Piston rubbed Kei’s back, feeling his trembling begin to calm. “…So… would you… allow me back into your life?”

“Oh, Hide… You are more than welcome…!” Kei exclaimed. He pulled away, grasping his brother’s shoulders with a joyful smile. Seeing his eyes glimmer with hope made Piston smile the widest he had that day. “I missed you so much!”

Piston cupped his face once more, and pulled his forehead to lay against his own.

“I missed you too, dear brother.”

[iamthekarmapolice]

What happened with your broken earphones in 2011?

it's a longish story consisting of a sequence of inconsequential events, but the end result was that i got into radiohead and later made friends with a bunch of people on here

so in 2011 i was 15, just beginning to discover more 'current' music having previously mostly just listened to the classic rock my dad raised me on. my favourite band in the world was coldplay and mylo xyloto had just come out, which i was my first experience of being deeply disappointed by a beloved artist. i was poised to jump ship

my earphones break sometime in october or november, and my parents say there might be an unused set in the storage space in their room. i never found the spare earphones, but i did unearth my dad's old copy of guiness rockopedia an a-z of major bands from the 60s to the late 90s. as a bookworm and a classic rock geek of course i devoured it. i read it multiple times. thanks to that book if you name a semi-notable band from before the 2000s i can probably at least tell you what kind of music they made

radiohead's entry intrigued me. they looked interesting and the snarky write-up made their music sound like pink floyd. it sounded like ok computer was the best entry point for me, so i went on youtube and listened to airbag for the first time through the family laptop's shitty speakers and it was love at first note in a way i had never experienced before and haven't since.

radiohead basically dominated my life for about 2 years after that. i listened to tons of other artists at the time, but nothing has ever compared to the grip they had on me. in like april 2012 i joined tumblr as a harry potter fan/twilight hater but i was rapidly outgrowing the series by that point and i didn't care so much. on a whim i checked if radiohead fans had any kind of presence, and they did and i read everyone's posts and probably caplocked a bunch in response to them in order to make friends, and the rest is history

in retrospect i probably would have discovered radiohead inevitably at some point. like all the signs were there. but im glad it happened when it did because at 15-17 i was able to emotionally connect with their music in a way that i wouldn't. i remember the first time i heard Motion Picture Soundtrack, i felt such a heaviness it felt like i couldnt move my body for about half a day. that just doesnt happen anymore, even with the things i really really love

it was a really special time in my life that im glad is documented on this blog in some part, as painfully cringy as it can be to go through all those posts sometimes

[1d1195]

I am in California! Specifically southern California so yeah it's always warm lol but that's the problem, it's been cold (cold for me which is 50-60sih) and it's very confusing since this isn't our usual weather! Plus it's also been really windy and the wind is cold lol And yeah sadly the timing was THE WORST!!!

It's okay that you chose to not go! like you knew your limit, you knew that it was something that wasn't going to be too enjoyable for you. especially if you had other things on your mind. It's not right that she made you feel bad about that even if you expressed that you were busy/didn't feel up for it. and even if you didn't say something about feeling off, respecting your choice is a MUST and knowing you, you probably declined in a nice way! So being upset that she couldn't respect that is valid! And being an independent person is good! like the fact that you can do things by yourself is something that a lot of people struggle with! there's nothing wrong about that.

I swear I listen to other artists and not just Paramore/ Paramore adjacent music HAHA like aside from that lyric, Ive had Good Luck Babe! by Chappell roan, Lejos de Ti(away from you) and Run Your mouth by The Marias and Bewitched by Laufey and like many more stuck in my head and I just cant seem to get it to stop lol

I kinda liked that they didn't have sex right away! I think her mentioning that "he ruined it" showed how sometimes the healing process is tricky and never linear! either way I always trust you and the process so Im excited!

I try so hard understand it like i have taken those quizzes, read articles and even watched videos! But I simply cant lol Nad you are very sweet!!! also sort of off topic but do you think Belle was disappointed once she saw the Beast in his human form?

Im glad your week was better! I hope that you rest this weekend my love!! thank you so much! ILY!!!-💜

Okay, it's coming back to me, when we talked about ideal temps a while back and I mentioned that 50/60 is my ideal temp 🤣 DEF the worst timing though :( I'm sorry!

She didn't make me feel that way per se, but I can read between the lines of course. Idk it's frustrating. I never say no and then I feel extremely guilty when I don't (have I mentioned Dolcezza before?) I even suggested she go herself and she was like "well, no. I won't go alone." Which I think is really tragic. It's freeing to do things by yourself, in my opinion. I don't mean to sound like 'she should just do it' but you kind of have to start somewhere with it. I'm an early bird so I used to get breakfast by myself in college, go for walks/runs, and honestly I had a whole day by myself in the mornings when no one else was awake. It was either eat breakfast on my own or I wasn't eating until like noon when everyone else woke up and that wasn't what I wanted. Anyway...

That's so cute! I'll have to give them a listen :)

They will definitely be sexual in the next part hahahahahaha

I've seen a lot of memes and tik toks about Belle and her disappointment of Beast HAHAHAHA I'm not sure, honestly! I had to google before and after images to remember what I thought at the time. Not sure if we're talking animated or live-action too, but either way, he's pretty cute in human form. I'm sure it was probably an adjustment for her, regardless. I personally don't like long hair on guys all that much (except Harry obviously because he can do no wrong, ever) so I struggle with that in general but it was a reflection of the time, I suppose. I want to know why they didn't call him Adam. Like it already sucks he's a transformed monster and hates himself already. like why are they calling him The Beast? ESPECIALLY when they know he's a d-bag to begin with? Like why make him MADDER? That would certainly make me mad and I would probs throw Lumiere and Cogsworth out a window (sorry I'm apparently really passionate about Beauty and The Beast).

Hope this week starts off easier for you 💕

xoxo

[findyourflame]

okay nobody cares about my opinions specifically but im going to go into them anyways. warning, im going to critique Sonic Prime bc its a piece of media by a huge company. this is going to be a biiiiig post too, under the cut.

TL;DR: Sonic Prime was a disappointing experience, but not the worst. It was enjoyable enough, mostly the first two seasons, rather than the last one. I have many thoughts and feelings on the characterization of the gang, some good, some bad, but overall it was a middling experience, just like most Sonic media is. and the kicker, it was not a sonadow show, I'm sorry sonadow shippers but you're just starved for Sonic and Shadow interacting, it's okay to ship them but some of the things y'all are saying is just silly.

okay now for the real post

For the sake of understanding, I will call each 'season' a season, even tho we all know that Netflix fucked with those episodes and when they were released even though some of them should have been bundled together.

So season one? I looooved it. Setting up the premise, the comedy, the flashy graphics and camera work, it was very fun! Overall, the characters and plot lines of each shatterspace were great....but.

Big and Rouge were shafted extremely hard. Both were given very little variety in their alternate versions archetypes. Big just felt like they went 'he's big and dumb and scared.' And with Rouge it felt like all of them had to be mature and in control and pretty. Boscage Rouge was a little teensy bit feral but overall still more similar to the others rather than different. Big just felt very...inconsequential? Which sucks! I adore Big! But in Prime he just wasn't given enough justice, and what was up with No Place Big just?? Turning British??? What was up with that. Never addressed again, purely existed for comedic value to try and keep your attention during over an hour of fighting the same robots.

Season two was pretty fun, applying more stakes by the urge to collect the prism shards, hinting that with them all back together, the rest of the shatterverses may cease to exist. The beginning conflict of interests and miscommunication between Sonic and Tails (which I'm going to talk about more later)

My main gripe with S2 was that Prismatic Sonic wasn't...interesting enough design wise. Giving a guy some chromatic aberration is always going to make my eyes go wide, but just airbrushing pink on and making his eyes pink doesn't make me think he's Prismatic. Especially considering the lore we know that Sonic has the remaining Prism energy? Like he should be more fucked up looking. More gems, more sparkle. What happened to the days of Sonic getting new insane looking forms just for funsies, which happened even back during the classic era because of Hyper Sonic. Prismatic Sonic deserved to look cooler even if it was a fight against an extremely silly looking Eggman, it would have felt right for Sonic the Hedgehog. Yes this gripe got a lot of explanation I'm an artist I'm not sorry

Season three. Good lord where do I begin. I guess with the things I liked like how I did the others. Once again most of the characters were on point, I liked seeing a reality where Tails is a villain (I know Nine isn't Tails, but lbr it's an exploration on what if Tails was alone, what if he had nobody, and the world was just awful). I liked the very ending sequence where Sonic changes his actions, even if it's in a sentimental manner, so that he avoids breaking the crystal again, he avoids restarting the whole process. I liked Sonic and Shadow's interactions through the entire show, it's nice to see them interacting again after so long of just...not, due to Sega ignoring anyone who wasn't Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Eggman.

The dislikes however are very egregious. The pacing was horrendous, why was there over an hour of near constant fighting with cycles of Sonic just stopping petty arguments between the Chaos Council and the shatterverse counterparts. The visuals became less flashy and interesting, it definitely looked rushed and it really shouldn't have been for something overseen by Sega. That sprite sequence was literally the most affronting thing to my eyes as a former Sonic sprite artist, they didn't even try to make it make sense to anything and again, the quality was horrible for something overseen by Sega. The layoffs, the strikes, the direction Netflix has been taking, the direction Man of Action has been taking, it was very clear that the final season was rushed and just shoveled out to us.

Overall, I was disappointed with how they finished off Sonic Prime.

Now onto something very specific about Sonic Prime that I wanna talk about: The characterization of Sonic in specific in this show.

For the most part, he's played pretty well, the voice acting is phenomenal, he's animated with so much expression, he's goofy, he's casual, he's affectionate which is something I believe is an inherent trait of Sonic based on many things in past media...and he's manipulative.

Let me explain what I mean by that

Sonic has always had a very good way of using words to sway people's thoughts and feelings. He's very good at getting under his enemy's skin, at making them pause, at making opportunities to strike as a result or to shift the fight into them just...not fighting anymore. I like this aspect of Sonic's personality because it's an extremely interesting thing to have a heroic character be able to do, and helps with banter, with teaching people.

Because he's a hero, this way of using his words isn't best described as manipulative, because of the connotations of that word being very negative. An exploration of Sonic where he's not a hero, not even an antihero, would be very interesting because of this skill of his.

Sonic Prime doesn't make Sonic evil. But he's certainly not a hero. He's very wishy washy, very stand offish....which is very unlike Sonic compared to most iterations of him where he will fight someone physically even if he doesn't want to, simply because he knows it will at the very least stop them from doing something more dangerous. The worst part of this wishy washy attitude from Prime Sonic is with regards to Nine in specific.

Now I mention the manipulative tactics Sonic uses in other media because he uses them with Nine too. To the point of consistently talking to Nine as if he is Tails, ignoring that Nine is his own person, that he's a real person, and it hurts Sonic to hear Nine defy him because of how much of an individual he is and how he's NOT Tails. He chased the kid into his home, which he broke into, yelled at him, got him arrested by the Chaos Council, and over and over ignored what Nine wanted in favor of what Sonic himself wants. And then when faced with a power hungry Nine he stood back and fought robots instead of rushing up there, with his super sonic speed, to stop the kid. He didn't let Shadow do anything either. Renegade Knuckles punching Nine in the face literally was the best thing that happened on that damn tower bc it showed that at least SOMEONE was willing to try to put a stop to this by any means necessary.

Nine was allowed to keep pushing the prism over and over, further breaking realities, and what did Sonic do?

Continue to try to reason with him.

Just spin dash the fox instead of gaslighting him, Sonic.

Someone probably drew the "I think we're going to have to kill this guy" meme with Sonic and Shadow but it's actually painful how real that shitpost is for the show, and how annoying it is that it's what the show is.

[bisexualnamjoonie]

Yes; exactly, thank you for putting into words what I couldn't express. I was genuinely excited by the solo work of the members but tbh even Jimin's album sounded a little bit flat to me (and NO,it's not because it was more straight than I wanted lol). Even Yoongi disappointed me despite the good songs in his album because his whole tour is so capitalist-coded it's amazing lol. I'm still enjoying the band but it's truly disappointing. So yeah let's wait for the rest of JK album but...¯\_(ツ)_/¯

yeah I've talked with a few ppl who didn't like jimins solo that much as well. for myself I've grown to like it progressively, I struggled with the hype around it more than with the album itself (bc it came after the shitshow that were jitb and indigo promo by hybe, it has more to do with the way hybe and armies are favouring maknae line than anything else so it's not on him musically lol) cause at the end of the day Jimin took part in the creative process and even if half the songs weren't my cup of tea musically, i still liked that he tried - u can see and feel he's working on his identity as an artist. im scared jks album won't even have that, or that the songs that are actually a reflexion of his musical identity won't outweight the more seven like songs... we'll see

as for face not being queer enough ive actually been giving an unhealthy amount of thoughts about bts and queerness these past few months 💀 ill try to be brief cuz I could go for ten paragraphs lol, but basically i don't think we can - and should - expect for them to openly state that they are / to come out, for multiple reasons. firstly if they ever do express more clearly their queerness it will be AFTER everyone is done with military service, no matter how many solo stuff they put out in the meantime. they just can't afford to be out with the current korean gov breathing down their necks. secondly they are not western artists and it's important to remember that the notion of coming out is a profoundly western one (no matter your race) and that for a lot of LGBT+ ppl in non-western part of the world it is not something that's necessary / desirable to openly live out your queerness. lastly i think we don't need them to, because we know. they've already shown us, or at least they've never hidden it. the only reason ppl won't accept it is because to be recognise as LGBT+ in the eyes of cisheteronormativity, you HAVE TO explicitly say it otherwise they will refuse to acknowledge it and will impose cisheterosexuality on you - and sometimes not even coming out is enough. like, I said it before, that yoongi has basically come out like four times in their careers already. that ppl refuse to acknowledge it is on them, not him. they've already shown us that at least a few of them are queer in plenty of ways, so as a fellow queer army let me reassure you that they are with us 💓💓💓

as for yoongi and the tour, I won't lengthen this ask even more lmao, as I've already said what I thought about it here and here, but mostly my take is: yes, he is part of the problem, yes it's infuriating, but he's just one pebble amongst all the other rich famous ppl out there, and if at the end of the day his music brings you joy, don't beat yourself up too much abt still staning him (but still remember that it's okay to be critical of them and their actions!)

[crimsun-n-clover]

me, 14, straight a student, little darling of teachers, enemy of administrators (also secretly the one fucking with the teachers too but they never caught on), overworked, crying on the kitchen floor:

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET ME DROP OUT BECAUSE I WANT TO HURT MYSELF”

me, 17, family disappointment, just another tortured artist archetype, basically a dropout, graduating on a technicality but even then i have shit to do that i can’t even do, also crying on the kitchen floor:

“…. welp. what now”

it’s like nothing makes it better. i still feel just as fucking hopeless, because even though the highs are higher, the lows are just as low and i can’t even see any sign of relief during the lows. logically, i know i will feel better, but i just can’t wrap my head around it because i’m just so lost.

i can’t do anything to myself. at least nothing permanent.

i’m not letting my kiddos go unprotected in schools that hurt them and homes that don’t love them enough.

i’m not letting my friends be lonely.

i’m not letting my baby cousins think they can imitate me with this one.

i’m not letting my relatives deadname me at my funeral.

i’m not letting everyone mourn someone who wasn’t even all that great anyway.

i’m not letting my cat think i don’t love him.

i’m not letting the original misfits lineup concert be entirely old guys in the crowd.

i’m not letting my campaign go unfinished.

i’m not letting people i love miss out on the things i would’ve done with them.

i’m not letting my memory ruin things that people love.

what will my kiddos do without someone behind them to say “damn, as long as they swing first, kick their ass. remember how i taught you to throat jab? yeah, use that one first. don’t break your fingers, be careful, plant your feet, and run if all else fails.” or “hey, im proud of you. you were way better than anyone else. wanna go get ice cream? i got some quarters if you wanna try the claw machine again.” because their parents didn’t show up to their recital.

what will my friends do without someone to call them at 11 pm to rant about something completely inconsequential and encourage them to dress outlandish if they want to? they’re all out of the way types who need a looks god in the eye type to keep them in check. they also need to hear about how ghostbusters 2 is a fucking masterpiece.

what will my baby cousins, the ones who idolize me, do if i set this kind of example? mind you, i’m already a bad role model, but this is awful. they won’t have anyone to slide them extra birthday money under the table even after they get their gifts. they won’t have someone to do the other half of our secret handshake with. they won’t have anyone to introduce them to shitty horror movies as they get older.

what will the jehovah’s witnesses call me when they put me in the ground? what will they say about me next week during their kingdom hall meeting? how will they demonize me when i’m not there to rock their shit and teach their kids slightly rebellious things?

god, i can’t write the rest of this. you get the point. i just want out. usually saying that gets me sent to a ward, but you’ll have to take me kicking, screaming, thrashing, clawing, biting, sobbing, and swinging at you. i can’t go back, they hurt me too much there.

i miss the weird little kid i looked after there after his foster parents couldn’t be bothered to pick him up. i may have been dreading every waking moment, but having a little kid cut his jello into noodles to slurp them obnoxiously after the nurses already yelled at us twice? fucking amazing. we watched scooby doo, played jenga, and that kid made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. i watch him go to call his parents to beg them to pick him up, they say they’re busy, he has to pretend like that doesn’t hurt more than anything, and he walks back to the table i’m sitting at and goes “hey, wanna help me name the plants outside the window in the rec room?” if his foster parents don’t want him, i sure fucking do. this poor kid was maybe eight years old and said something about wishing he could disappear at school, and now he’s locked up here, doing everything in his power to make me laugh, even though the nurses are probably trying to kill us with their brains.

there’s too much to give up. but there’s also too much for me to just power through. someone help me.