#the rest is history (I’ll 100% be elaborating in future art and/or writing)

[petracozbi]

First ‘meeting’?

Song: All I Wanted by Paramore

[that-house]

Hey so I hit 100 followers today!

Buckle up, this is gonna be a LOOOONG post.

I quite honestly expected it (while my ego is a little smaller than my jokes make it out to be it is definitely present), I didn’t expect it to happen so fast.

It’s not an insane milestone, plenty of people have 100 followers. A hefty portion of my followers are bigger than me. But it’s still important to me. Knowing that there’s 100 people out there who enjoy my shit makes me happy.

First and foremost the credit quite honestly has to go to ahegao George Washington. No, I’m not joking. Until I posted on r/tumblr about my desire to draw that, I had 0 followers. I jumped to like 10 overnight, which was awesome. And then those new followers helped me spread my posts and get more attention.

Secondly I’d like to shoutout @imaverysadgirl and @themeaninglessjumble. You two were my first real tumblr frens. You were the first of my followers to really interact with me. Ember, I’m super happy you’re alive to see me hit 100 followers. Jumble (I don’t know your name unless I forgot it), your art and creations are great and you deserve way more attention.

To all the rest of you, you guys are great, too. Every new follower makes me happy. I’d say I don’t deserve you all, but my colossal ego says I do. Regardless, being nemesi and getting called out for being horny on main and sending and receiving asks has made this last month or so great.

Finally, for all the shit it gets, and for all the shit it pulls, [tumblr] really is pretty dope. I got to meet you all, and it’s actively making me a better person by exposing me to groups of people I’d rarely interact with in real life.

Why does it feel like I’m saying goodbye? I’m not, don’t worry. I plan to stay, and neither death nor pain shall drive me from this hellsite. I’m just saying thanks.

Now with the thanks out of the way, I want to talk about myself a little. Just the stuff that I’ve always wanted to say and never quite gathered my thoughts and found the time to talk about.

You’re gonna get to know me so well! This is like a mini autobiography!

First off, my mental health. This is something I don’t talk about much on this blog, mostly because it doesn’t need much talking about. I’m doing pretty well, to be honest. I have a smattering of anxiety and I’m maybe a little too introverted for my own good, but I’m not suffering from depression and the only time I ever even remotely considered suicide was when I just really really didn’t want to go to French class. COVID has been great for me, since I don’t have to see people. I suppose I’m not a great person to talk to if you’re struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, seeing as I can’t personally relate, but I’m still always here for you guys if you need me. Just because I haven’t lived through your experiences doesn’t mean I can’t try to help.

Next up I want to talk about my sexuality. This one’s a bit of a mystery. For the past 16 years of my life I’ve considered myself 100% straight. But lately (let’s be honest, following the release of Spirit Blossom Thresh) I’ve been wondering if I might be bi. How many times can I joke about wanting to smash sexy boys before it’s not really a joke anymore? And if I am, a lot of things would suddenly make a lot of sense. But every time I think I have it figured out it suddenly feels like I have no clue what’s going on. Regardless, my sexuality has honestly never been a massive part of my identity (though I’m definitely not asexual, my friends can attest I’m far too horny for that). I have no clue if I’m bi and for now it’s kind of a fun little adventure!

I guess I’ll talk about school and stuff now. Believe it or not, I’m kinda smart. I’m taking a shitton of AP courses this year. But I simultaneously feel like it’s too much and not enough. I’m smart, but I’m not a great student. Compared to my dad, who graduated college with a 3.98 GPA (and his only B being in History of Canada as an American) and now has a super well-paying government STEM job that he loves, I feel like even if I work my ass off I’ll never quite measure up. And my parents have had super high expectations of me, and it’s only recently that they’ve started to accept that I might get some B’s here and there. I’m worried about all the homework this year. I’m a year ahead in Math but I don’t feel good enough at math to be taking AP calculus junior year. I’m worried I’m going to get like a C. But for the most part school is alright, too. That’s sort of the trend in my life. Everything’s alright.

Time to talk about my love life! I have no love life! I’ve been single for 17 years and probably stand no chance of changing that until at least college! Haha I’m so alone! But I can live with it. Growing up an only child with a few friends means that I’m pretty good at functioning without a ton of social interaction, and, while I’d like a partner someday, I’m not desperate. I can wait until I find someone. Pretty much my goal is not to die alone.

Onto sports maybe? I played soccer for most of my life, and was always the worst player on the select team. I was too good for the normal team and not good enough for the select team (kinda like math). Soccer was really toxic, especially when you’re the worst player on a team of high school jock drug addict boys. So I quit, and started playing frisbee! It’s a lot better. The people are nicer! But my first season never happened because of COVID and now I’m in my Junior year and haven’t played much frisbee! So I kinda suck! But I’m physically fit and that’s good enough for me! On my own time I bike and run to stay in shape.

Are you still with me? Now I’m gonna talk about my hobbies and things!

I’ve been playing video games for a long time. I kinda suck at them to be totally honest. I probably have below-average reaction time, and my parents only let me play 15 minutes a day for most of my childhood, so I have a lot less practice than most of my friends. I’m pretty slick with Swain in LoL tho.

This next part is borderline shameless self-promotion, but since the Kickstarter isn’t live yet I guess it doesn’t count. I’m making a tabletop role playing game! I’ve been working on it for the past few years. My goal is to launch the Kickstarter prior to my college applications, because that’ll look sexy as fuck to potential colleges. It’s a post-apocalyptic sci-fi game where you play as supersoldiers trying to reconquer the wastelands of Earth for humanity. I’ll do a big post on it when I launch the Kickstarter, and I guess that’ll also be a full name reveal (kinda spooky since my full name is ENTIRELY unique and one-of-a-kind. More ego boost lmao).

And finally I want to talk about my art and writing. I’ll start with my drawing, and finish off with my writing, since that’s what I’d most like to be known for on here (but that’ll never happen because my caveman brain shitposts are too funny).

So I’ve been doodling for a long time. I briefly got formal art training but sacrificing my Saturday mornings to draw what someone else wanted me to make so that I could make better stuff in the future didn’t appeal to my 8-year-old brain. I draw in the margins of worksheets. I draw on random sheets of paper. Recently my parents bought me a drawing tablet, and I’ve been trying to improve at digital art. I’d say I’m getting better, but I don’t practice nearly enough. All in all my art serves its purpose. It makes people laugh and can sometimes creep people out. It’ll never go in a museum, and I’ll never make money off of it but whatever.

And finally, my writing.

How can I talk about writing without talking about reading? I’ve likely read more books than both my parents combined, and if not, it’s close (and my mom is a prolific reader too). I have three bookshelves in my room and books on every surface. You can’t follow me for long without seeing a post ranting about my latest read. I love to read and I read incredibly fast. Reading spurred my love of English class, which in turn helped me write.

And finally, we get to writing in and of itself. I’ve been writing stories since I was a little kid. I’d like to think I’ve improved a fair bit. I’m still no novelist, but I consider myself a fairly adept short story writer.

But I suppose where my writing really stems from is my bed. Every night while I’m lying in bed, I tell myself stories until I fall asleep. I work on a story until it’s done or until I get bored of it. Along the way, in the shower, on my bike, I build the world of the story, crafting the plot. Sometimes the stories are elaborate fanfictions of my latest reads. That’s probably how they started. Often, they’re unique worlds all of their own. My current writing posts are about the City of Mammon, but my current story in my head is about some vampires who hunt other vampires in Victorian England.

And now we get into the process of writing. It’s fun! I sit myself down with an idea in my head, and use all the fancy words I picked up from my books to convey the vibes I want. I honestly wouldn’t be a great writing teacher. It’s just a skill that comes naturally to me as a result of what I’ve been doing with my free time my whole life. And it’s beautiful. And every time someone compliments my writing or reblogs it, I love writing just a little bit more.

Well I guess this is it. The 100 follower special. I wonder how many of you guys will take the time out of your day to read this. Hopefully a lot!

James (or That House) signing off for the night!

<3 thanks guys

[epicstuckyficrecs]

In 1947, Master Sergeant James B. Barnes's surviving field journals were posthumously published as the classic war memoir The Night War. Now a high school history classroom mainstay and required reading at West Point, this highly anticipated 60th Anniversary Edition presents the original, unedited text alongside detailed historical notes that provide important context to the extraordinary wartime heroics of Captain America and the Howling Commandos.

Barnes, James B. The Night War: The Wartime Memoirs of a Howling Commando. Ed. Harold Miller. 60th Anniversary ed. New York: HarperCollins, 2005. Print.

Guys. Girls. Non-binary friends. PEOPLE. LISTEN UP!!!!

I am here to right a terrible wrong because it is CRIMINAL how little attention this fic is getting on AO3. CRIMINAL I SAY.

Here’s a sample of the comments I left on this fic:

“ok like 99% of the time with this fic I'm scratching my head and thinking "did this actually happen or did she exercice some author freedom?" and that's just a testament of how well this is written that you could truly believe that 100% of what is written is actual factual historical TRUTH.”

“omfg you're amazing. I don't know HOW in the hell you managed to create this story/diary in a way that I fucking ask myself what's real and what's not because you make it seems as if Bucky and Cap and the Howling Commandoes WERE ACTUALLY FIGHTING WW2.”

“So many people have said it before me, and way more eloquently, but god. This fic is amazing in every single way. The format, the plot, the characterization, everything is on point. Everything is an incredible proof of your skill as a writer.”

“To me, this fic is pretty much up there with the NEC series in regards to the best fics in this fandom, (...) This deserves to be a fandom classic. I will rec this until my dying breath. I would print this and put it on my bookshelf. It's a masterpiece.”

“unless you have a phd in ww2, I don't think anyone could read this and feel like it wasn't 200% accurate“

I’m not kidding guys. This is probably my FAVORITE FIC OF THE YEAR! Like I said above, this is one of the very few fics that I would totally print because I wanna hold it in my hands, cradle it like a baby, and cherish it for the rest of eternity. The other fic I feel like that about, off the top of my head? NEC!!!!!!!! So you see how highly I think of this fic, this story, this work of art, this masterpiece.

This fic reads EXACTLY as if you would’ve gone to your local library, picked up a WW2 memoir/diary from a survivor, and read it. As I’ve said above, this is so realistic that you find yourself wondering “did that fight actually happen? Are those OCs or actual people? Did the Allies ever do that thing?” ALL THE TIME. That’s it. The format, the frickin’ footnotes, the manips!!! Everything is 110% ON POINT. The amount of work and research that must’ve gone into this story, I can’t even comprehend it.

And then the fact that it’s Bucky’s diary. Just. Hits you IN THE FEELS. ALL TH TIME.

Just spend two seconds reading the comments. I’ve never wanted to sit down and read the comments that people leave on a fic but I WOULD DO IT FOR THIS FIC because everyone’s comments are so interesting!!! They make me see stuff I hadn’t noticed while reading! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fic where SO MANY PEOPLE leave long, interesting, analytic, rambly comments, and where the author responds with amazing comments of her own. @praximeter​ is a gift. Shit guys, am I gonna have to sample other people’s comments because they’re way more eloquent than my own? I’ll put them under a read more because this is getting out of hand.

Wanna know the best part? THERE’S A SEQUEL COMING UP :DDDDDD

I absolutely love the authentic feels of this, Bucky's diary. I did not read All Quiet on the Western Front, as another commenter did, but have recently (after having seen Wonder Woman, actually) watched the 1930s movie, and are hitting the tone and content perfectly. I kept this story on my to-read list because I wanted time to savour it. I simply adore fanfic that is set and elaborates on the historical settings of the movies, and can only thank you for putting so much work and knowledge into this. -Vaysh

whoa. this is everything i ever wanted??? bucky is perfectly characterized and the language. the LANGUAGE. it's so true to the time period, and it just works so well, and the historical accuracy is top. notch. how much research you put into this is beyond me. this is definitely going to be my new obsession for a long time. expect comments on the rest of your chapters, i literally cannot express how good this is. -small_queen

This is one of the best Bucky POV stories I've ever read, and definitely the best Captain America story set in the war. I really appreciate your attention to historical detail, and I'm really looking forward to future chapters. -norwich36

I am honestly enthralled with this story. It's a goddamn work of art even(...)  I /highly/ encourage the author to work on getting this published. One of the best historical style fictions I've read, who gives a damn that it's fan fiction. It's amazing and so well written with character and emotion in every damn word. I don't have words to do this piece of literature justice. -candlesneedflame

I love the voice you've written for Bucky in this. I've been devouring this over the past few days, but this particular chapter was so good I just had to comment. The confusion, the fear, the uncertainty, the devotion and faith in his brothers in arms, this reads so realistically. I can easily believe this as an in universe classic. All of the extra details - the stories of what happened to everyone after the war, the footnotes tying their exploits in with the greater war, it all helps to flesh this out. -Shazrolane

The more I read your story the more I am blown away by the 'fake' accuracy of the military story side of it. Your story of Bucky is amazing but the historian in me is riveted by your summaries at the end of each chapter. They read like a historical report. I focused on WWII and Germany in my history major over 25 years ago and this takes me back to my research days. I can only assume you've spent some serious time researching the era as this has an amazing amount of detail. It seems real. I know you are basing it off of fact but I could believe this actually happened. -Fraulein

I used to live on Carlisle, Pa, where the Army Heritage Center is. My dad and I used to go to read the handwritten accounts of soldiers who fought in WWII, Kore, and Vietnam. I have read Lt Goranson's personal account of DDay (the person Tom Hank's character in Saving Private Ryan was based on). This story reads like one of those. It is incredibly realistic and engaging. I was so caught up in it i ended up reading it at 3 am in my car because i couldnt put it down. In fact I am still in my car writing this review. I dont understand how this has so few comments. -smac89

Holy wow. Just downloaded your whole fic to read on a road trip and wow, so so glad I did. I'm obsessed with the way you write - it's so true to how I imagine a soldier would write, so matter of fact and difficult to parse how he's truly feeling yet at the same time, so young and boyish and charming. I really have over the last few hours grown to love your Bucky not just because he's Bucky Barnes but because of how you write him, that perfect balance of tortured self awareness of his role in the war with the happy-go-lucky person he must have been pre-war. What can I say, I have lots of feelings about James Buchanan Barnes... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The other thing I adore is how much detail you've put into this - the historical notes are so fun to read, the care and love with which you craft each encounter and scene and its history and importance. You've really created something so beautiful and incredible here. So many kudos and I'm so excited to continue reading it! -jexlane

AND THAT’S ONLY A SAMPLE OF A FEW PAGES OF COMMENTS!!!