#the rebellion thing is a touchy subject like do not bring it up to him unless you're hyping him up...

[aserpent]

lucifer maintaining a somewhat angelic appearance in hell is a matter of pride btw. it's his unimaginable, primordial hubris. 🥰

[elionwriter]

Since I'm not sure I want to write new, full Fanfictions right now (I'm already working on a Good Omens one) I'm just gonna post some Star Wars/ Dinluke headcanons and prompts and ask you guys if you want me to flesh them out.

PART 1:

Their meeting and the events on board of Moff Gideon's light cruiser change things quite radically for both Din Djarin and Luke Skywalker. On Din's side, without the child actively in his care he is left without a proper goal and without a proper path. He can't go back being a simple bounty hunter, mostly because the ones he did it for are gone...

So what now? He always knew he would do anything to bring Grogu's mission to a proper end but he never actually thought of what would happen after. Nor did he immagine that it would leave him so shattered, broken and lonely.

Is it stubborn denial that his business with the child is over that makes him investigate further about the matter? A part of him wants to believe that yes, yes it is, but something about it just doesn't sit right with him. As Dr. Pershing is brought back as a prisoner to New Republic forces he is thoughtfully interrogated about his work and his part in the operations of the empirial cell. The man doesn't give his interrogators a hard time, answering everything as honestly as he can, but doesn't seem to know much afterall. Din can't help but feel somewhat sorry for him: he was taught cloning engineering by the last Kaminoans alive, apparently another species the Empire had decided were better off exterminated and forgotten after fulfilling their purpose. Except they hadn't, not completely, and now experts on the subject were even more rare than beskar. The Dr. was one of them and his knowledge and capacity was the only thing keeping him alive after the empirials sought him out. Whether or not he had any real sympathy for the imps was rather irrelevant and they were his one remaining shot at doing his actual job (there wasn't really a high demand for clones nowadays). He followed Moff Gideon's orders but he knew that the orders were actually coming from much higher up. Who was pulling the strings and what they ultimately wanted, he didn't know. They didn't trust him with those informations. All he knew was that they needed him to create a body with the kid's life expectancy and his M count. They had kidnapped and experimented on other force sensitive children but none of them seemed to have Grogu's qualities and were disposed of. When the guard told him to stand up to be brought back to his cell, the doctor looked at Din and asked "Is the child safe?" "Yes, he is." Answered the mandalorian and the other nodded exhausted "Good, that's good. Thank you." Din nodded back to him and watched him leave.

The only reason Din had been allowed to follow the interrogation was obviously Cara Dune, which had delivered Dr. Pershing and Gideon to the authorities. Cara was however busy talking with someone he didn't know, another woman, a very elegant and majestic one at that. He couldn't help but notice the friendly and intimate tone the conversation seemed to have. Cara later introduced her to him as senator Leia Organa -Solo, a legend of the Rebellion and the Princess of Aldeeran. Suddenly the two's steadyfast bond became very clear. Apparently, the Senator found the story about the two prisoners extremely distressing and had already "her best man" look into it. She spoke very kindly to Din and, as a true politician, thanked him for his services to the Republic. Din quickly changed subject and asked if Moff Gideon had revealed anything more useful than the doctor.

As expected, Gideon hadn't been as collaborative and hadn't spoken a word since he was brought in. Something in his demeanor, however, had definitely shifted and below the ever guarded and secure facade there was worry. 'That's the face of a man in deep shit! We aren't the ones he's scared of though, one can only guess what makes a guy like him fret like that...' said Cara without bothering to hide her worry.

That was the reason why Din, in the little breakes he stole from the collaboration he had fallen into with Bo-Katan and the other mandalorians, kept searching for answers. The something or someone that scared Gideon had to mean danger. And if there was danger out for Grogu it would ALWAYS be his business.

That's when he realized who the princess' "best man" was. Luke Skywalker had apparently been searching for answers too and it's during one of these occasions that they newly meet. They have a common goal and pupil to protect but very diverse skill sets and areas of expertise. That's why on the hush-hush they agree to meet occasionally when either of them seems to have some new information or lead. Neither of them properly introduces to the other, there's really no need for that, and their partnership remains for some time elusive at best. Din is a naturally secretive and private man, the Jedi on the other hand, seems to have become it, a necessity rather than an inclination. Luke doesn't ever bring Grogu along nor does he mention him, after assuring the other that the child is safe and well. Din doesn't ask. And yet, the most restless one of the two about it is the Jedi. Just like Luke can feel Din's ever present affection and sense of duty toward Grogu, Din can sense that the other is very uneasy on the matter, like two parts of him are constantly battling over something. Again, he doesn't ask.

Despite all this, however, their relationship is far from strained. There is a mutual and instinctive trust and respect between them and it becomes quickly very clear that they work well together. During the nights they have to camp or during the trip in hyperspace the two talk. They discuss about their dying creeds, their principals and beliefs, fighting techniques and recount some of their old adventures. After a while, they open up enough to discuss of their situation and daily challenges and earnestly seek the other's opinion and advice on how to face them.

Din learns that Luke is still a figure on which the New Republic sometimes relies upon, even if only for extremely delicate situations; that he spent the last few years travelling throughout the galaxy looking for lost Jedi artifacts and knowledge, hoping to learn how to best bring the order back to life for new generations of force users (expecially his young nefew); that during said travels he always made a point to help those in need and right wrongs where he saw them; that he still found himself dealing with loose ends of the Empire.

On the other hand, Luke learns of Bo-Katan's quest to reclaim Mandalore; of Din's search for knowledge and history on a culture that should be his own but that he progressively realizes he knows very little about; of his uncertainty on where he stands both with his creed and his peers and the aggravation of the dark saber which he is currently the wielder and protector of.

They feel for each other. No, they understand each other. Even as words completely fail to reveal the most critical parts of these conversations. What they do understand is this: nothing seems to make anymore any fuc****ng sense in their lives! That everything was much more simple when they were just a bounty hunter and a farm boy.

It's not that Din doesn't want to find other Mandalorians and help his people. He and Bo-katan may not always see eye to eye, but they both made extremely clear how loyal they are to their creed. It's just that Din doesn't know anymore if he still has a right to that title and to the armour he wears, if everything he was taught was a lie or not. He broke a lot of rules for the child and can't decide if that is for the best or not.

Luke, on the other hand, can't decide what to make of the Jedi teachings and contradictions he has collected. How can he act like expected and pass on lessons he himself isn't really sold on. It was his family and his ties that kept him alive and safe from the dark when facing the Emperor and his father, but it was also attachments and the Jedi's taboos that had damned his father to begin with. Should he encourage the complete detachment the old texts preached about, should he too talk only of light and cast a shadow on everything that didn't fall in that limited range of the force? But most importantly: should he keep his young apprentice from his beloved father and pointedly ignore the warm flame the mandalorian had effortlessly lit up in him?

Luke can't help but notice that when he slips and gets a bit too close, a bit too intimate and touchy with the other man, the mandalorian doesn't push him away and seems to answer this boldness with an awkward, shy breathlessness. While a part of him knows, Luke doesn't allow himself to hope or acknowledge that flicker in his chest might be mutual.

[mostlycompetentwriter]

You Can STAY - Part 9

F/M Main Pairing: Y/N x Lee Felix (Side Pairing: Y/N x Stray Kids)

Genre: Fantasy AU; Scarlet Heart AU; OT8 SKZ

Word Count: 3.5K

Warnings: Language; some mentions of mature content (insert wink face); violence; mentions of blood; minor character death

Summary: Changbin’s reign as King begins.

Tag List: @angelphantomlove @moonlightracha @jjabbur @pinkchcn @straykidbaby @moonnstars90 @dru-shadow @skzooyeet @xiaojunssmile​

Dear Hyunjin,

This letter comes to you with the burden of uncertainty, and I’ve encountered enough of that to last a lifetime.

According to our spies, you escaped the Castle’s insurrection and traveled with that group of refugees somewhere South. But your whereabouts are still difficult to attain, and I can only hope that only your eyes will see these words. Because I would not write to you unless I considered it completely necessary, especially when Changbin has his personal legion of guards monitoring our every movement. 

But here it is: for your sake, and for the preservation of the King’s lineage, I implore you to stay in the Southern territories until it is safe to return home. Perhaps that was your intention all along, but Jisung seems to think that it was fortuitous that you decided to leave with that girl you admired, to make something better of their struggles down south.

If that’s the case, then remain hidden. I can only assume that Changbin will endeavor to find you as he has already made it clear that Seungmin and Jisung are his next targets. Thankfully, they both found a place to keep their heads low for the time being, but there’s something desperate surrounding Changbin. And I think it makes him volatile, certainly unstable when it comes to his newfound duties as King.

Even if he attained the title illegitimately, 

Please don’t write back to me unless you feel something horrible will happen if you ignore your concerns. It’s impossible to bring anything inside the Castle without Changbin’s notice.

I wish you all the best and pray for your continued safety.

Yours truly,

Y/N.

“Good morning.”

It was Felix’s rough voice that roused me from sleep, one of the very few things that brought me any semblance of happiness during these uncertain times.

“Morning,” I replied, opening my eyes to see him looking down over me with a fond expression, hair messy and disheveled. “How long have you been awake?”

“I don’t know,” Felix said, and he smiled as he wormed his way closer to share my body warmth, drawing me into his arms so that I could feel his heart beating.

“Were you just watching me?” I teased him, and he chuckled in that deep rumble that I felt from my position next to him.

“It’s the only time when you look peaceful,” Felix said, and I heard the sadness in his tone, the same kind that I could feel in my heart.

“There aren’t many reasons to be anything but troubled,” I replied.

“But I don’t want you to feel like there’s no hope,” Felix said. “You know that our position in the Castle is secure.”

“For how long?” I asked him. “Changbin is dangerous. He could change his mind on a whim’s notice.”

“But he’s smart,” Felix said. “He needs my connections with the North.”

“Does he?” I snorted. “Why? He doesn’t care about the people.”

“It might be true, but he does care about staying on the throne, and he understands that you must appease the people to remain in power.”

“And that means satisfying the North?”

“If he wants to avoid war,” Felix said. “Which I think he would considering that his reign is still tainted by a premature rebellion.”

I shivered at the reminder, remembering the unforgettable image of Minho’s lifeless eyes. The betrayal that one must feel to watch a member of their own blood turn against them. “I guess you were right when you said that politics aren’t suited for us.”

“Hmmm,” Felix acknowledged. “I’m rarely wrong about these things.”

“But what about Jisung and Seungmin?” I asked. “They’re still on the run, hiding somewhere in the Kingdom, and Changbin will want to deal with them.”

“He hasn’t mentioned anything,” Felix said. 

“That doesn’t mean he won’t,” I pointed out. “I suppose we have the advantage since Chan knows where Jisung is hiding.”

Felix growled at the mention of his older brother, but we both knew we needed Chan on our side.

It had been nearly a week since Changbin’s rise to the throne, and I only managed to return to the Castle after Felix convinced Changbin of my worth. The same justification for Chan’s return; although, Changbin remained highly suspicious of his oldest brother.

“Seungmin won’t be far,” Felix said. “I can only assume he’s with his mother.”

“I hope they’re well,” I said, recalling the close encounter that the queens had endured when Changbin kicked them out, restoring his own mother to her place above the rest. 

Once exiled, but returned once more.

“Hyunjin remains in the South,” Felix continued, except the problem was that Hyunjin’s whereabouts remained justified by a minor report from the Kingdom’s spies who claimed to have seen him.

It was still a touchy subject, and I could only hope that my letter made it to him.

“Everything is fine for now,” I said. “But it could all change very suddenly.”

“But I’ll be ready,” Felix said, and he sighed when he sat up in bed. “I should go meet with Changbin.”

I reached for his arm, pulling him back down into a desperate kiss. “Be careful with your brother,” I whispered.

“I can handle him,” Felix reassured me, but it was an empty promise when we both lived in a new world under an oppressive order where fear and uncertainly reigned along with the Kingdom’s illegitimate head.

“You don’t have to do this,” Felix whispered to me as we stood outside of the throne room.

“I want to,” I insisted, but I could tell that he wanted to challenge me. To question the motivations compelling me to stand with him, and the loud stubbornness when it involved listening to Changbin as he discussed what he planned to do about Jisung and Seungmin. “I need this,” I said, and Felix sighed, pushing aside the door and allowing me to enter first.

Immediately upon my entrance, my eyes were drawn to Changbin, sitting on his throne as he watched us with narrowed eyes, wearing a regal black robe and the golden crown amongst his tresses. 

It was obvious that he didn’t appreciate my presence in the Castle, but I had no intentions of going anywhere. “We can begin,” he said, and I followed his gaze as he found Chan in the crowd. “Well?”

“There have been no signs of Jisung and Seungmin,” Chan said, and I tried to keep my expression neutral when his eyes met mine. “They’ve run off, your grace.”

Changbin smirked. “Do you really expect me to believe that?”

Chan frowned. “There’s no other explanation? They have no intention of interfering with your rule.”

“You can’t possibly know that,” Changbin scoffed. “Unless you’ve spoken to one of them yourself?”

Chan stiffened, the truth obvious in the disconcerting way his eyes flickered with unease, but Changbin was too overcome with his own egoism to notice.

“We have a problem,” Changbin continued, drumming his fingers against the throne. “I must address the issue of our youngest brothers.”

I swallowed hard at the mention of them, glancing at Felix from the corner of my eye. “What about our brothers?” Felix asked, stepping forward to make his presence known. “What else can we do?”

“I need loyalty,” Changbin growled. “Which is why I’ve decided to give you both a chance to prove yourselves.”

“What do you mean?” Felix grumbled, but I already feared the answer before Changbin spoke his next words.

“They must die,” he said - like it was just another regular command with no lasting consequences. “To ensure that the two of you are on my side, you will be the ones to do it, and I will have Felix dispose of Seungmin and Chan dispose of Jisung.”

“Dispose!” I muttered under my breath, ensuring that Changbin wouldn’t hear the blatant disapproval, but expressing my hatred and revulsion towards such a proclamation. One that left Chan and Felix, and admittedly myself, in the worse kind of predicament.

It was cold in the Castle that night, and I found myself curling even closer to Felix, unable to fall asleep.

“You knew Changbin when he was younger,” I said, startling us both from our collective reprieve. “Was he this cruel?”

“No,” Felix replied, and then he sighed. “When we were all younger, we didn’t think anything of growing up and taking over the kingdom. Things were a lot better between us.”

“What happened?” I asked - a question that I knew was far too weighted.

And I could practically hear Felix thinking, trying to figure out how to best answer something that wasn’t simple. “The lineage,” Felix eventually replied. “The Kingdom must have a King, and our father managed to teach us that lesson.”

“He divided his sons,” I remarked.

“To him, it wouldn’t be that cruel,” Felix said. “After all, it is tradition in the Castle.”

“Well, then I’m sorry for all of you,” I said. “Even Changbin.”

“Only you could allow such sympathy for someone who threatens your life,” Felix said, and I couldn’t help but allow a little smile at his tone.

“Felix,” I whispered, turning over onto my side, grabbing his hand and leading it somewhere lower beneath the bed sheets. “I don’t want to think about those things anymore.”

“You make it seem like a punishment,” Felix growled, and he rolled over top of me with an unnatural grace, trapping my lips in a fierce kiss, making quick work of my clothes before adjusting himself between my thighs.

The next morning, I was walking the grounds with Felix when the unexpected happened.

“Pssst,” a whispered hush passed through the holly bushes.

“Did you hear that?” I asked, forcing us both to a complete stop as I walked closer to the source, completely unprepared to meet a pair of brown eyes from the shadows of the leaves. “Seungmin?!”

“Y/N,” Seungmin grinned, emerging from his hiding spot like it wasn’t a big deal. Like his older brother wasn’t plotting his demise. “I’m glad to see you...we both are,” he continued, reaching back to take Rose’s hand before leading his wife out into the open.

Exposed for the taking.

“Are you insane?” Felix growled, pushing them both into a more concealed area of the gardens.

“We have nowhere to go,” Seungmin insisted, and I paused for a moment to notice that they were both fifthly - clothes disheveled and expressions distraught.

“Where were you?” I asked, ignoring Felix’s interrogation as I stepped closer. “Do you not realize what’s happened?”

“Of course we do,” Seungmin huffed, and it would be amusing under any other circumstances to see him so harried.

“Then you shouldn’t be here,” Felix said, and I could see him searching our surroundings, waiting for the wrong pair of guards to walk by us.

“What’s Changbin got against me, huh?” Seungmin demanded. “The Castle is my home!”

“He’s asking for your head,” Felix snapped, and I could tell that he was losing patience, trying to formulate a solution to this unexpected problem. 

And even though he had every right to be upset with Seungmin, I also realized that this was a young prince in need, and I could see the fear in his gaze as he sought familiarity with the place he group up in - from his own flesh and blood. “We’ll try to house you somewhere discreet in the Castle,” I decided, disregarding Felix’s glare.

The inherent warning.

“Thank you,” Seungmin said, and it was nice to see even a ghost of his former smile.

“This is dangerous,” Felix muttered. 

“We have no choice,” I reminded him, and Felix begrudgingly allowed the comment, turning around to look back at the Castle. “Maybe somewhere in one of the Queens former bedrooms?”

“It’s smart,” I said, nodding my agreement. “Changbin banished the other queens, so there’s no reason for him to look there.”

“But you’ll still have to be careful,” Felix cautioned his younger brother, and Seungmin nodded - desperate for our help. 

“I promise!”

Felix sighed, looking back and forth between me and Seungmin. “Then, let’s go.”

We were using the utmost degree of caution to navigate the Castle, but the close-calls with the guards was starting to weigh on my nerves.

“When does Changbin expect you to kill me?” Seungmin asked, having been caught up on everything that had happened after we explained it to him. 

“It doesn’t matter because we’ll delay it,” Felix said. “Changbin doesn’t have to know that we’re doing it on purpose.”

“Technically, if we insist that we can’t find you,” I said, peaking around the corner to check that the corridor was clear. “We can’t do anything else.”

“He’ll accept it for now,” Felix added. “But we’ll need to figure out something else.”

Seungmin nodded, exchanging a quick look with his wife as they hurried behind us.

Thankfully, high noon was an especially busy time for Changbin’s guards as they escorted him through the surrounding villages where he insisted on garnering support for his reign. 

We didn’t have much difficulty finding the Queens tower, and after ensuring that both rooms were empty, Felix and I stood guard before attempting to plan our next move. “Don’t leave no matter what you might hear,” Felix said, and I watched as he pulled his brother into a hug - a display of affection that I had never witnessed before. 

“Okay,” Seungmin said, and there were tears in his eyes when he reluctantly stood back. 

“I’m sorry this happened,” Felix continued, and I reached out to squeeze Rose’s hand in reassurance. 

“Felix,” Seungmin sniffled. “I just want you to know something-”

But anything he had left to confess was forgotten. 

It was the worst sort of timing, and I noticed it first when Seungmin realized that someone else had infringed upon our meeting.

“Well isn’t this sweet?” a low-timbered voice purred - an welcomed interruption that proved to be fatal when Changbin stepped forward into the light.

Immediately, Felix pushed Seungmin and Rose behind him, but it was too late to protect any of our lives.

“Brother,” Changbin said, intentionally looking around Felix for Seungmin. “I’m glad to see you come home.”

“C-Changbin...” Seungmin stuttered, but the words wouldn’t come out, and Changbin scoffed and flicked his wrist.

“Bring Felix to me.”

I stifled my protest when a burly guard snatched Felix’s arm, dragging the younger prince next to Changbin as ordered. “What are you doing?” Felix hissed, eyes wide with rage.

“Testing you,” Changbin replied, holding out his hand for the weapon that another guard held for him - a bow and a sliver of arrows.

“No,” I whispered, finding myself unable to move as two more guards took positions on either side of me.

“I’ve given my orders,” Changbin said, and he crushed the bow and arrows against Felix’s chest. “Take this and kill them.”

I shivered at his cold tone, closing my eyes against Rose’s cries and Seungmin’s pleas for Changbin to forgive him - for whatever he had done - but what Seungmin didn’t realize was that he was dealing with a version of his brother that couldn’t be reached through normal means. 

Felix sighed at the heavy tension - the weight of this immense execution he was expected to commit - holding out the bow and notching one of the arrows, aiming it at Seungmin’s chest with a shaky hold. 

It was a gut-wrenching sight - Seungmin was crying openly, pushing away Rose and holding out his hands in an attempt to pacify Felix, but it wasn’t his outcasted brother who wanted to see his blood. And despite all those rumors about Felix - the ones that painted him a ruthless killer - I only saw a man whose weaknesses were becoming more and more apparent.

“No,” Felix eventually said to break the long spell of tension, shaking his head as he lowered the bow. “I can’t do it.”

“Then let me show you how,” Changbin growled, and he shouldered Felix aside with brutal strength, sending his estranged brother to the floor.

And the next several moments proceeded with an unusual imitation of time - something that was slow and fast in the same instance - the kind of rare moment where you have no time to react, but all the time in the world to witness the horrors unveiling in front of you.

I flinched as the arrows whizzed through the air, hitting Seungmin first who fell to the concrete floor without realizing that another quickly followed for his wife.

Seungmin’s lips opened around a silent scream, and then he dropped down to his knees, cradling the arrow in his chest.

Even though I could only focus on him, I detected a slew of arrows zipping above his head, chasing after Rose as she tried to escape.

But it was in vain, for there was no escape from this nightmare.

Still, it didn’t stop me from reacting - foolishly, as I’m sure Felix would tell me - but it was instinct alone that drove me to the floor next to Seungmin’s crumpled form. “Seungmin!” I cried, supporting his head against my lap while making futile attempts to stop the bleeding pouring from the wound in his chest.

“Rose-” Seungmin gargled, and I swallowed hard at the sight of a trickle of red falling down from the corner of his lips.

“She’s fine,” I interrupted him, lying to protect the dying boy in my arms, even though I could see that Rose had not moved since she fell after the arrow pierced her heart.

“Y/N,” Seungmin whispered, and I could see the effects of death’s cruel touch - the blue color of his lips and the dark shadows beneath his eyes. “I’m scared.”

“There’s no reason to be afraid,” I tried to reassure him, holding him closer and trailing my fingers through his hair. “Just let go, Seungmin. You don’t deserve to suffer anymore.”

He was gone after that with his eyes wide open - reflecting a permanent horror of his body’s last moments on this Earth.

Chan

There was nothing but anger storming away in Chan’s heart as he stumbled along the path leading to the shelter where he had hidden Jisung shortly after Changbin’s insurrection,

He slammed open the door, startling his younger brother who had been tending to one of the ailing queens. “Chan?” Jisung asked, and he smiled at the sight of his brother, rushing to meet him as quickly as possible. “Is something wrong?”

“Changbin killed Seungmin,” Chan said, and Jisung gasped as he stumbled back against the wall, smile vanishing in an instant.

“Changbin did that?” Jisung cried, and Chan frowned, wondering how Jisung could still believe in his brother’s goodness after everything that had happened; after all, hadn’t he already proven himself capable of killing a sibling?

“I’ve had enough of his schemes,” Chan growled, and Jisung backed off when he realized that his brother was nearing his breaking point.

“What are you going to do?” Jisung asked, and he was only surprised even further when Chan looked back outside and beckoned someone forward. “Jeongin?!”

“Hi, Sungie,” Jeongin whispered, and Jisung was surprised by how weak his youngest brother appeared.

“Changbin can’t lead any longer,” Chan insisted, and he pulled Jeongin next to his side. “It’s time for us to intervene.”

Jisung swallowed hard, looking between his brothers with unease. “Do you have a plan?”

Chan smiled, something cruel and wicked. “Changbin still trusts two people,” Chan said. “He trusts Felix, and....”

“He trusts me,” Jeongin interrupted, taking a step forward. “He invited me back into the Castle.”

“So?” Jisung asked, frowning as he wondered why Jeongin would ever think he could rely on Changbin’s trust.

It could disappear without explanation.

“Jeongin will act as a spy for us,” Chan said. “Because everyone has a weakness, and he’ll find Changbin’s for us.”

“And then?” Jisung questioned, feeling almost feverish as his desperation grew even stronger.

“And then we kill him.”

Dear Y/N,

Changbin is the least of my concerns, but I appreciate your worries for my well-being.

Actually, I am quite content down in the south, and it seems the people here are grateful for my intervention. 

If Changbin was as cunning as you say he is, then he would leave me to my own devices. I’m planning to marry that girl you briefly met with the other refugees, and it seems like there will be a new alliance between the South and the Cle Kingdom. Changbin would be both foolish and reckless to mess with such a political advantage.

I don’t care if Changbin sees this because he and everyone else in the Castle should know that the Southern territories do not approve of his reign.

Bad things are coming.

- Hyunjin

[ayamari-no-goshi]

Eidolon 6 | (T)

ff.net | AO3

Fandom: Danny Phantom (DP)

Summary:  AU: What started off as the result of a simple act of rebellion ends up causing his life to spin out of control. How will young Danny cope with the results as well as a past that has a strange habit of coming back to haunt him.

Warnings: rated T for violence, mentions of death, kidnapping, and various other things

Parings: hints of Danny/Sam much later on

Notes: originally uploaded to Ff.net. Cross-posted to AO3 and tumblr

6. Phone Call

Winston was at a complete loss as to what to do. Though Danny was feeling better, he firmly denied anything strange happened before he started feeling ill. Worse, his friends had decided they were not going to leave for a while. After everything that had happened during the day, he really needed to talk to the boy. It was just he did not want company to hear… though, knowing Danny, he would probably tell his friends anyway.

His other problem involved trying to figure out just how much he should say. He knew he had to explain what happened to the boy's parents, it seemed to factor into both Masters' and Plasmius' involvement in the whole mess. But the other aspect, which held most of Plasmius' attention, was a touchy subject. Unfortunately, that would have to wait until a later time. Without Danny's acknowledgement, there was little that could be said.

He ran his hand through his hair while he continued to pace. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

A sound from the phone interrupted his contemplation. Irritated, he glared at the number and realized it was in his best interests to answer it. Blasted social services! They couldn't leave him alone for more than a few hours anymore. Though, in this case, he did deserve it. After taking a moment to calm himself, he answered the phone, expecting to hear the social worker from earlier in the day. Instead, he was shocked to discover the educated-sounding voice on the other end belonged to none other than the Vlad Masters.

"Hello! Is this Winston?" he asked with a strange, almost false, enthusiasm. "Splendid! I'm just calling to check in as I was informed earlier that you had to cancel a meeting with one of my representatives due to an emergency earlier today."

Winston's eyes narrowed as he listened. "Sorry about that. I tried explaining to the woman that I'd gladly reschedule as it was imperative that I checked in on the situation. It was just as much as a shock to me as to everyone else." He paused for a moment. "You know, I wasn't told that the meeting was with one of your people."

"What?" The voice on the phone had the nerve to sound shocked. "I could have sworn that you had been informed. I'll have to make note to talk to the office about that. Anyways, the meeting was supposed to go over the legal aspects of young Daniel's case."

"Legal aspects? What 'legal aspects'? The courts decided years ago that I had full legal permission to take care of him! You honestly want to remove him from the place he's called home for the last twelve years?"

"There's no need to get testy with me, now is there? Yes, you were given permission, but things have changed since then. That letter of yours was definitely written by the Fentons, but it's hardly a true legal document. So, I've decided to retry the case."

"I hope you realize if it was considered fine back then, it most likely will have the same result now."Although he tried to sound civil, Winston could hear the growl lurking beneath. Just from the way Masters was talking, it was clear there was something abnormal about his interest in Danny. Not only that, but it just did not make sense the problem of a couple missing documents would turn into a potential court case so quickly. It seemed like Masters was doing his best to puppeteer everything to a favorable situation, which was starting to sound worrisome.

"…I'm also going to remind you, even though you probably already know this," he continued, not caring if Masters had something else to say. "It is unlikely that the courts will want to remove Danny from a home where he's been well-taken care of. Not only that, all of the proper paperwork has been turned in showing I've adopted him legally, other than the couple forms that have disappeared. It will just be easier for all parties to have me continue to take care of him."

A somewhat dark laugh answered him. "Let's look at this piece by piece, shall we? Are you certain the boy's happy and healthy? Why, when I visited your house earlier today, he looked under the weather. Think of what the courts will think when he doesn't get better."

"And are you insinuating that he won't?" he demanded. Silence was the only answer he received, though he could almost sense the smirk forming on Masters' face. "And what do you mean visited? You're telling me that you were here, in person?"

"Oh yes. Though, I must say that Daniel was quite displeased to find me in your kitchen. He wasted no time in confronting me. Haven't you taught him not to talk to strangers?"

Winston could just feel his blood pressure rising to the boiling point. "Y-you…! HOW DARE YOU! DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT YOUR MONEY GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO BARGE INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S HOMES?"

"Oh dear… It appears as if our conversation has turned a bit sour. Let's continue this on a different day, hmm?"

It took nearly all of his willpower to calm down to the point where he was sure that he was not going to yell again. "Fine… but let me ask you this first: what is your interest in Danny? I know that someone like you rarely involves himself in the personal lives of other, especially those we aren't in your social class. So, why?"

"Me? I'm simply trying to do what my two old friends requested of me before their deaths."

"Forgive me if I don't believe that. And, what makes you think they're dead? No evidence has ever been found. I'd think as a friend, you'd be hoping for the best until proven otherwise."

"Oh ho, more questions! And here I thought we were done." There was a pause before another strange laugh came across the phone. "But I'll indulge you one last time tonight. Though I'd love to be told that Maddie and Jack have been found, I know it's quite unlikely. It's been nearly thirteen years, and statistics have shown that the odds of a missing person surviving that long are so minute it's laughable." He then paused for a moment before speaking again. "Winston, as a… normally… reasonable man, so I implore you to think about this carefully. A court case will be messy and will probably drain you financially. Also, think about the boy's happiness. You're telling me that he wouldn't be happier in my care?"

"From what I've heard over the phone, you sound like you view Danny more as an object than an actual person, so I doubt it," Winston snorted. "Mr. Masters, until that court date, stay away from my house and my family. Now, if you excuse me, I have some things that I have to attend to." He then slammed the phone down and breathed.

It had taken all of his willpower to not start cursing at the man. If he didn't trust the man before, he certainly didn't now. There had been something that had been left unsaid in the conversation, even if they had danced around the topic. Masters had made it sound earlier that Danny would remain ill, but with how angry he had been at the time, he hadn't bothered to press the subject. Was it possible that he knew about Danny's 'condition'? And, could he have been the associate that Plasmius mentioned?

Well… whether he was or wasn't, he still needed to talk to Danny. Without wasting another minute, he started towards the boy's room.

xxxxx

"Tucker, asking him the same question over and over is not helping!" Sam warned the boy while eyeing the PDA in his hand. From Danny's vantage point, he wasn't entirely sure if she making sure it wasn't going to be thrown or if she was thinking about swiping it.

"But... he's gotta know something!" Tucker's voice was panicky. Since his scare earlier, he had been trying to find a rational explanation for what had happened, but his efforts were failing miserably. However, it wasn't because he wasn't asking the right questions, but rather, Danny honestly did not have the answers.

He sighed as he watched Sam threaten to destroy the PDA in what he assumed was the wrong was to calm someone down. What was going on? Although he didn't want to admit it, this was similar to what happened on Sunday, though he hadn't gotten stuck that time. The best thing that he could come up with is that it was some weird sickness that was causing it. He really didn't want to say anything to Winston, especially since this was only the second time that this had happened.

But, although falling through solid objects was definitely strange, it was not the first odd occurrence he had experienced recently. There was that frightening encounter the previous week with that thing... "Hey, guys..." he said quietly as he tried to put his thoughts in order, "Do you think this could be related to that strange thing that chased us?"

Tucker looked confused for a moment while Sam just narrowed her eyes. "You mean the thing that appeared in the cemetery? Why would you think that?" she asked, dubious.

"Why'd you have to go and bring that up?" Tucker nearly choked. "I've been trying to forget about it!"

Danny allowed himself to smile at Tucker's reaction in spite of his concerns. "Well... nothing really strange started until that happened. Also, do you remember that it said something somewhat odd before it vanished? I think it was something like, 'Enjoy it while it lasts'."

"I remember that..." Sam told him as she looked at him curiously. "It was almost like it was saying that you weren't going to be around for much longer." A frown appeared on her face as she thought about it for a moment. "So... do you think he knew about this?"

"Or maybe it made this happen..."

"Great, just great! That's just what I need to hear! You don't think that thing scared me enough when we first saw it? Now you're giving it super powers!"

Unsure what to say, he just watched as Tucker's fearful exclamation turned into a full-blown rant that somehow seemed to jump from the fear of the unknown entity to worry that his precious PDA would be damaged back to the fact that people shouldn't be able to get their leg stuck in the floor. Although he knew he should probably stop him, it was probably better if he got it all out now. It would definitely make it easier to talk to him, once he calmed down either by his own volition or by Sam's.

However, he wasn't stopped by either things. Instead, a loud shout, which was probably more comparable to an enraged snarl, took all of them by surprised. Danny looked towards his door in shock. Winston almost never raised his voice like that, but when he did, usually it was not a good thing. He only hoped that he was not going to end up on the receiving end later on.

"Uh... was that...?" Tucker asked worriedly. It was almost as if he was afraid to finish the question.

He nodded and listened for a moment. It sounded like his guardian was on the phone with someone. "He doesn't lose his temper too often," he told his friends before donning a wry smile. "But when he does, I'd rather be facing that weird thing again."

...

It was a little later when a knock on his door interrupted his conversation. "Danny? May I come in?" Winston's voice called from behind it. Although Danny really did not want to deal with his guardian at that moment, he knew that it would be dangerous to refuse, especially after the outburst earlier.

After telling him that he could, Winston came in, and it was very clear that he had a lot on his mind. The man looked so worn and stressed, that he seemed to have aged at least ten years in a single night. Hopefully, that was just a temporary thing.

"Danny... I know that this is probably not the best time, but..." Winston's tone suddenly changed from pleasant to accusing. "Where did find those?"

He was definitely confused by the question, until Winston gestured towards the letters that were now on his end table. With everything that happened, he had completely forgotten about them. "Oh, those. I had found them in your study when I came home... "

"He was the only one who went inside though!" Tucker piped before anyone else had a chance to say something. "What?" he asked after Sam gave him a strange look. "I'm trying to save him from getting in trouble."

Danny was surprised when he watched Winston's suspicious glare change into a more amused expression. "You definitely have found some good friends."

"Actually, they found me," Danny corrected. After all, it was them who decided to go look for supposed ghost in the cemetery. That thought just amused him. Who in their right mind thought that he was a ghost?

"Would you mind handing me those?" Winston after allowing himself to take a set at the end of the bed. After being giving the letters, he seemed unsure of what to say. "Did... did you take a look at these?"

"No... After I found them, we ended up being distracted by that Masters guy... Oh, that's right, I... uh... forgot to mention that to you..." Even he could hear the nervousness in his voice. Random people being in the house without permission was somewhat important.

"I know... He was the one who called earlier, and he decided to let that slip..." There was a momentary pause before Winston looked at him with a very serious expression. "These letters both have something to do with what happened to your parents and part of what's happening now. And, it's about time that you knew."

Wait, was Winston really about to tell him what he thought he was? He wasn't too sure what to say until Sam made a noise, making him jump. For a moment, he had forgotten that his friends were still in the room.

"Uh... do you want us to leave... since this is a delicate subject and all?" she asked. From her expression, he could tell that she really didn't want to leave just yet.

"It's alright... I know that no matter what, you'll end up hearing the story anyways." Winston replied with a bit of a grin. "How to start this off...? Danny, back before you were born, your parents were actually making quite a name for themselves as scientists and inventors, focusing mostly on the field of parapsychology, which is how I ended up initially meeting them."

"Parapsychology? You mean like research on stuff like ghosts and psychic abilities?" Sam asked. It was clear that her interest was clearly peaked.

Winston nodded. "The very same, though they tended to focus more on what they referred to as ghost hunting. Anyways, it appears that some of their research caused a bit of a problem for them. Someone by the name of Plasmius... started taking a negative interest in your family. It's a bit unclear why, but shortly after you were born, Plasmius decided to, for lack of a better word, attack your family."

"Your parents seemed to know he was coming... and called me shortly before that attack happened. But, I got there too late. By that time, the house was a mess and your parents were... just gone! It's not entirely clear what happened to them. I searched the house for some clue, but it was as if they vanished into thin air. Yet, somehow, I was able to find you, Danny. You were unhurt and tucked away in a laundry basket of all things."

"Where... do the letters fit in?" he asked, unsure how everything was related.

"I'm getting to that. Now, according to your parents' will, a friend of theirs was supposed to take care of you if anything ended up happening to them. However, about a month before the attack, I was sent a letter from them that asked if I would be willing to take care of you instead." Holding up the one letter, he frowned as he examined it. "It looks like someone's been reading this... Anyways, although it's not a proper document, the courts seemed to view it as an updated but unofficial will. It caused a lot of problems for your parents' friend who seemed almost desperate to get a hold of you."

"I'm a bit confused..." Tucker interrupted. "Why didn't Danny's parents want their friend to take care of him?"

"It's not entirely clear..." Winston told them rather slowly as if he wasn't sure how to phrase what he wanted to say. "But, from what I understand, they seemed to suspect him of somehow being in league with Plasmius. After the problem with the court was settled, I moved us away from your old hometown, hoping that it would bring an end to the trouble... I was wrong. It... it appears that he past is trying to repeat itself. The second letter you found was from Plasmius, saying that he knew where we are. I was so shaken up... I went out to see if I could find you, but I ran into it... him instead... On top of that, Vlad Masters has gotten himself involved again... He thinks that he can win this time... It's such a mess."

There was just silence as Winston finished up. It was very clear that he was deeply troubled by the whole even, and Danny was just as lost. There was just so much information to sift through and try to understand, but something was sitting a little off. "'win this time'?" he repeated. "Do you mean that the guy that was in our house today was the same person my parents didn't want to take care of me?"

"The very same. I don't know exactly why he's so dead set on this. It could be related to Plasmius, or it could be a completely different matter. I don't know." Winston sighed for a moment before he looked directly into his charges eyes, making him nervous for some reason. "All I do know is that Plasmius is very dangerous and has some sort of interest in you." He then stood up and moved towards the door. "Be careful. I don't want to find out that the next time you disappear is because of him."

[tslasvegas]

Episode 9: “Dear Diary, it’s me, Jaiden” - Jaiden

I feel like I've had a breakthrough. I just survived my first merge vote of the game and I wasn't even having a meltdown. That's already miles and miles ahead of my last Tumblr Survivor season where I made the merge. Although I don't think my position in this game is locked yet, I feel pretty good about where I stand. I hope that the Touchy Subjects answers reveal my hopes that I'm not a threat to anybody and that people don't believe the common idea is that I'm shitty or too perfect or something. If that makes any sense. Basically I just want to know that I'm doing okay here so far. I feel good about my chances at that but we need some work to be done before I can say that for certain. I hate seeing Andrew leave because like I said he's someone that I wanted to work with, but I have to believe what people said about him being an over-player, a mess, etc. and just stick to my guns that I made the right call here. I kind of wanted to see if Joey would play his legacy for Ben but I'm glad I held back on that because I hope the legacy will come back in the future to save me. I don't have a lot of confidence when it comes to the literal minefield of idols and nullifiers out there. As long as I continue convincing people I'm on their side, or that I'm not the enemy at least, those things won't get used on me. Right now that we're on the jury, I NEED to focus on my jury management first and foremost. I am super okay with playing my strategic and social game the way I've been doing it thus far (obv learning from past mistakes.....) but the killer to my game 99% of the time I've made it deep in these things is how I get that jury to feel about me. Protect myself in game, but also set up a jury of folks who feel like they can trust me and only me. And.. hopefully some day I'll blindside Joey and he'll give me his legacy advantage.

...five seconds later

Tbh I hope that Jake reads this after the season and realizes that I never once at this point in the merge find him annoying. Somehow in his own mind he thinks hes like, the worst person ever and I'm trying to tell him he's not, he's great, we have a lot of work ahead of, etc and he's not buying it at all. Idk if this is him trying to emotionally manipulate me or not, but.. like.. thats my gameplan tf! 

So Steph, Pat and Jeff were left out of the vote. But Jaiden said it was supposed to be unanimous. That means that Keegan, Liv and Joey purposely left them out. I don't understand why they would intentionally make enemies. Better for us I suppose. We just got to keep our ragtag group of 6 together: me, John, Jake, Kailyn, Jaiden and Ben.

So the merge vote was quite interesting. With this being a 13 person merge, I tend to believe it is best to play a tad conservatively early on. This made it to where I figure the OG Palazzo would get a good 1-2 rounds of things their way before Keegan, Jake, and I mounted our little rebellion. As it turns out, I woke up to Jake and Keegan wanting me on call because Andrew was being as messy as he was on our swap tribe. Jake said that Andrew confirmed the OG Palazzo chat, something Keegan and I had already did, and that Keegan threw Jake's name out in said chat and Andrew shot it down. In reality, Andrew is actually the person that threw Jake out. He threw Jake's name out first on our swap tribe and he threw it out first here. I am really unsure what game Andrew really wanted to play beyond making sure he had options outside of the OG Palazzo. So from this point, we went around and got a feel for who we could pull. Joey had already expressed to Keegan that he felt nervous about there being a massive numerical OG Palazzo majority. The game is better for all of us if it is a bad more fluid. We ended up kicking Andrew to the curb in a 9-4 vote with Steph, Jeff, Pat, and Andrew voting in the minority. We talked in the OG Palazzo chat and those left out seemed to understand once we explained some of Andrew's missteps in PM's. This is good because I want some form of OG Palazzo to be there if it becomes something that I need down the line. At this current moment, I have heard no one bring up the super idol that is in Keegan and I's possession so I can only assume that we got lucky and no one actually checked the vault after we grabbed it. This could be due to lack of chips at the time or people just forgetting to. So for now, I shall assume everyone thinks that the super idol is vibing on the idol board, which is very good for me. Typically with a super idol, it would be super easy for you to get voted out the round after saving yourself with it. That is why I would like for it to get as deep into this game as possible. At the end of the day, the best part about having it is knowing its whereabouts and not having someone else possess it. So after TC, Jake, Keegan, and I hopped on call to celebrate. Jake revealed that Joey offered a 4 to him and Jake said I am good and should be included. This is how many current alliances are looking: - F2: Keegan and I - Three of Us: Keegan, Jake, and I - Meninism: Keegan, Jake, Joey, Jaiden, and I - OG Palazzo: Keegan, Joey, Jeff, Pat, Steph, and I This makes it so that the only people I do not have some sort of alliance with are Ben, Kailyn, John, and Xavier. I like these people but that is kind of how the game is shaking out currently. Ideally, I want Ben out next as it would allow my 3 to fade into the background and let what should be a consensus boot happen. After TC, multiple people expressed that Ben hadn't been very social. Now the current challenge is Touchy Subjects and I hope I do not get too many positive ones just because they could result in me being targeted. I think I am in a good spot to where I am doing well socially and having one on one's with everyone in some capacity, but I am hoping I am not perceived as any sort of power player at the moment. That fucked me in Trinity: Deception Island and I would not like for that to fuck me over here. I do think I have the connections to make it through for a little while. I see a path to the end but as I get closer I will have to evaluate whether or not that is a winning path to the end. Below is a short synopsis of my one on ones with people: - Steph: like nothing because I have found her super dry premerge - Jaiden: we have been talking about reading and writing and books and it is a good time - Jeff: he is a king and we have been talking about theatre and work and past games and shit - Jake: not as much one on one stuff due to our calls with Keegan - Keegan: not a lot but I have been updating him prior to updating the 3 chat - Kailyn: college and majors and such - Xavier: not a whole lot but he seems really sweet and messaged me "i am glad we voted together :)" after TC and I found that super wholesome - Ben: he has not responded in a bit but he wanted to strategize for the idol hunt with me - Joey: a decent bit of memes back and forth - Pat: lots of small talk but we have had some good convos and he seems to understand the Andrew move - John: we talked a bit about Atomic Nova Scotia Overall, I think I am doing well but not overtly so. This is ideal when we are still at Final 12 I think.

I think Palazzo will vote out Stephanie :) They hate women

Wow. I'm writing this after immunity results. I'm kind of just gonna word vomit. I checked off individual immunity from my checklist. And it's this challenge. The one that eliminated me in 26. The one that crushed 16 year old Jake's self confidence, and made him never want to play again. I got Hero, want to win, funniest, and stop talking which is kind of my favorite. I never ever thought I'd come back after 73 seasons, win THIS challenge, and in an individual setting. I changed history a little bit. And now I'm in the final 11. Ben is the easy vote this round, personally I'd love to see Stephanie go so that I can have Xavier to myself. But I can't push too hard. I controlled last vote, let someone else have a turn in the sun. I get to chill for once.

Now that’s character development!

Move now or lay low?

Final 12 feels pretty good, but final 11 will be so much better. If I make it through this vote, this will be the longest I’ve made it in a merge! And I’ll tie my placement with India :) Obviously I am still focused on my goal of making it thru til single digits, but I’m celebrating the small victories now so I don’t focus too hard on strategy that doesn’t need to take place this early. I feel like everyone is going to be looking at Ben as the dude they need to get rid of, so I won’t be surprised if he ends up going home. I don’t think that is the absolute worst thing for my game right now, but I’d prefer Stephanie or Xavier going before Ben at least for right now. I suppose I don’t have a huge voice on the subject but my pitch to keep Ben tomorrow is that it keeps Kailyn away from trying to work with Stephanie and Xavier who, frankly, need to be part of the next couple boots if we’re thinking big picture.. I don’t know if Joey will listen to me. Another option is maybe see if we can swing votes to Pat. Would anybody be upset to see Pat go home? Who knows. But basically my relationships are so little with Pat, Kailyn, Stephanie, and Xavier and idk what to do about them right now. I really just don’t wanna see those four link up and go super far because that would be kinda boring and really devastating LOL Another big win for me today was that I got put into the Meninist alliance with Jake, Joey, Livingston, and Keegan. While I’m not particularly fond of Livingston yet, we’ll see if he grows on me :) if not he can say adios. Since Joey is looking REALLY dangerous I’m gonna try to distance myself from him more and more right now. I don’t want people to think I’m drinking his kool aid bc I’m not, but I don’t want him to think I’ve turned on him bc I definitely want him to still give me that legacy advantage.. This morning I was thinking about how I can really give myself a better trajectory to the end and I’m a little bit confused still on what my winning conditions are for this game. What moves can I start making today that will set me up for six tribals down the line when surely the game is getting messy as fuck and I need protection from all sides? Maybe discrediting people like Xavier, Stephanie, Kailyn, Pat, and even Livingston aren’t the best things for me to do right now. I want to keep people who are in my corner safe such as Jeff, Keegan, Jake, and hopefully Joey but we’re almost to the halfway point of the game and it’s not going to be easy to keep everybody including myself safe. It’s no longer a question of whether I’ll win this or not. It’s a question of how I win. The merge is what counts I think.. everything before that was just the foundation for success. My foundation is cracked and not the best but I’m picking up the pace, I think. Whatever. If I have to use my social connections to Joey or John or whoever, I’m going to manipulate them to what benefits me. I don’t wanna go down that path of being messy but some day soon these ppl are gonna realize they should’ve never trusted me to begin with... because I’m coming for them.

Me almost forgetting confessionals were a thing. Ben is really popping off here today because he knows he's the boot. And now he has created a "straights alliance". This... is such a weird day. I wanna just go back to bed and not deal with all of this because it's weird.

6 years ago I wanted to pull of a move like this. I can get Ben to explode in main chat and with everyone. Pick fights, freak out, tank people’s games, just be a monster. And without anyone knowing, I’ll give him my safety without power. Idols will be flushed, mass panic, and I have immunity so I’m just chilling. We’re about to gamble baby.

Dear Diary, it’s me, Jaiden. Ben went off the deep end today and proved that he was a wasted spot on this season to begin with. This tribe is only big enough for one messy bitch, and not only that but I'm one big fat messy bitch, so sorry Ben but your time has come. 

I always get a bad feeling before tribal. I just hope Ben goes, and it’s easy and smooth and there’s no issues. 

I thought Kailyn was horny texting me, turns out she's just high........ Kailyn, 5:15 PM so is the vote tonight ben ?? i’m kind of [redacted] rn don’t know what’s going on 😳 Jaiden, 5:15 PM yeah :/ i feel bad bc ive grown to like ben but no one is offering any sort of alternative omg whats redacted Kailyn, 5:16 PM 😳😳😳 legally, it’s a joke 💖 Jaiden, 5:16 PM IM??? Kailyn, 5:16 PM JSDJKSKA Jaiden, 5:16 PM WHAT do u mean uimm i cant find the up emoji but like UP u know?? Kailyn, 5:16 PM SJHDJDKSLA yes 💖 Jaiden, 5:17 PM omg queeeeeeeen i love that for u JOKINGLY of course hehe Kailyn, 5:17 PM for the laugh 💖💖💖💖💖 thank u Jaiden, 5:17 PM god we stan r u gonna be at tribal?? Kailyn, 5:18 PM if i remember yes ofc 😇 me trying to do my french hw rn: 🧍‍♀️🧍🧍‍♂️ Jaiden, 5:19 PM HAHA good...i wanna see u pop awf hopefully HJAHHAHA i love the emojis Jaiden, Kailyn, 5:19 PM NSHDJSJAJ ofc 💖 Jaiden, 5:19 PM god im truely living my best life thru u rn tell me something french Kailyn, 5:22 PM je can’t remember a word of français rn bc i’m so h word 💖🙏🥵 Jaiden, 5:22 PM *HAPPY!!* Kailyn, 5:27 PM so true 😇 Jaiden, 5:27 PM wait i hope we mean the same h word im starting to think its not the one im thinking of....... Kailyn, 5:28 PM DJDJDJKSAKALKAK uhhh not me accidentally calling Xavier 😭😭😭😭 Jaiden, 5:29 PM DID HE ANSWER Kailyn, 5:30 PM YEAHHHSJDJSKLALA Jaiden, 5:31 PM WHAT HAPPENED IM FUIOHWODIH thats so fucking funy Kailyn, 5:31 PM NDDHJDKSS I SAW MY FACE POP UP ON THE SCREEN AND I WAS LIKE FUCK Jaiden, 5:31 PM H9uhiudheiuhfH Kailyn, 5:31 PM AND HE WAS LIKE. DID U CALL Jaiden, 5:31 PM VIDEO CALL????????????? Kailyn, 5:31 PM AND I WAS LIKE UHHH Jaiden, 5:31 PM IM DYING Kailyn, 5:32 PM AND HUNG UP Jaiden, 5:32 PM KAILYN Kailyn, 5:32 PM NSHDHDKSLSLA Jaiden, 5:32 PM IM LAUGHING SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKIGNM HARD Kailyn, 5:32 PM ate some Good chocolate on this night 😤👼 Jaiden, 5:33 PM oh my GOD you're talking about the H i DIDNT THINK U WERE TAKING ABT Kailyn, 5:33 PM JDDHJDKSKALAP WHAT DID U THINK Jaiden, 5:33 PM maybe calling xavier wasnt on accident i THOUGHT you were talking about being high but UGHFWO)DJH CHOCOLATE IS AN APHRODISIAC Kailyn, 5:34 PM YEAH I AM WTF Jaiden, 5:34 PM WHAT] Kailyn, 5:34 PM DJJDDJKSLSPAPS NOOOOOO Jaiden, 5:34 PM I TOHUGHT Kailyn, 5:34 PM SHJDJDKDOEOEOWOWA Jaiden, 5:34 PM OMFG Kailyn, 5:34 PM BCUCNCNDODNDIEOEKOEW Jaiden, 5:34 PM WHEN U SAID CALLED XAVIER AND THE CHOCOLATE Kailyn, 5:34 PM WHAT THE FUCKODKSKSKS NOOOOOOO Jaiden, 5:34 PM I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING Kailyn, 5:34 PM DBHDJSKAKAKS BYE NOOOOOO DJDHDJSKALLAA Jaiden, 5:34 PM IM DETLTING MY FUCKING ACCOUNT IM DLEETING MY FUCKING ACCOT Kailyn, 5:34 PM HSHDHDKSKALA

[aringabrielmoved]

I’m Gonna Change Your Life

(Chapter Two of: The Night We Met) Chapter one is on tumblr and ao3

(Again, under a read more as it’s about 5,000 words! Tagging @omuonrice because they were super enthusiastic and kind about the first chapter!)

“C’mon, are you not enough of a rebel, Joey?” Mary had a glint of fire in his eyes as Joseph flinched away from the needle that he personally believed was too close to his eye for comfort. How had Mary convinced him to do this? His dad was going to kill him, it didn’t matter that he was moved out. Mary was supposed to be his path to domesticity and respectable Christian life, not college rebellion and fake IDs. And certainly not getting a black eyebrow piercing and ripped up jeans. His mother would have thrown them into the fire.

“Fuck!” Joseph’s voice rang into the small shop they were in before he immediately covered his mouth and felt the tips of his ears heating up. He took a deep breath as the slight sting of the new piercing in his eyebrow hit him. He saw himself in a small mirror across the way and slowly looked over his own face, bringing his finger up to the barbell that was now in his skin, wincing when he touched it. “Oh my stars, what have you done to me, Mary.”

Mary’s friend Damien had tagged along and was laughing to himself in the corner at Joseph’s apparent surprise. He had only tagged along because Mary wanted another person to come and make sure that Joseph didn’t chicken out, but he was glad he had sacrificed his time to witness that. “Maybe now you’ll finally pull out that stick that your father has shoved so far up your posterior.” Damien feigned an old-timey sort of accent and broke out into laughter along with Mary.

Joseph sat up and looked a little dizzy, but he had a small smile curling his lips up slowly. He tried to act like he felt guilty, and maybe he did, but rebellion tasted bitter-sweet. “I think it looks good, Joseph, something other than khakis and good Christian spirit.” Mary was smiling a little too wide, like it was her life’s purpose to lead Joseph into rebellion and this was the first movement forward. “You’re getting there, Christiansen, slowly but surely.” Damien giggled as Mary went on. “Let’s get out of here, we’ve got progress to make.”

Of course, Joseph made sure to thank the guy who had pierced his eyebrow for the sake of peer pressure before following Mary and Damien out of the shop and to Mary’s car, that was just the right thing to do. He was irrationally terrified of what his parents were going to think, even if he was 19 now and two hours away from home while moving into an apartment next to the college nearby. College. Oh boy, that was a storm coming his way. What was he doing in college? He’d figure it out, right?

Mary ruffled his hair and he quickly sprung into real life and away from his intrusive thoughts, staring over at where Mary sat in the driver’s seat. “I’m assuming I can’t convince you to do anything fun with that perfect bleach-blond hair of yours?” Joseph shook his head as he looked at the faint streaks of red that were slowly fading from Mary’s dirty blonde hair. He was not going to do that, or anything of the sort to his hair.

“No, thank you, Mary. I’m perfectly fine with my boring blond hair.” Joseph reached up to touch his hair, as if to assure himself that Mary couldn’t mess with it and it was still there. He was already afraid that Mary was about to slash all of his jeans, though he had to admit he liked the feeling his new ripped jeans gave him. It was something different, it was his own decision, not his parents’ or his fear telling him to stick to what he knew.

“Suit yourself, Sailor, but I’m taking Dames to a friend’s house to dye his hair.” Joseph raised an eyebrow when Mary started giggling, Damien shaking his head in the back seat as they turned a corner on the way to their apartment. “Some asshole called him gay for having a purple streak, so now we’re gonna dye all of it fucking purple.” Joseph sighed and Mary pulled onto the side of the street in front of their building with a smile on her face.

Damien was grinning now too, obviously in on this joke. “Well, I just think that if purple hair really does mean homosexual, then I should be very clear that I am fully committing to purple hair.” Joseph laughed a little at that one, but he was nervously tapping his fingers on the door next to him and becoming acutely aware of the fact that there was no comfortable place for his tongue to rest in his mouth. Hanging out with Mary and her friends was nerve-wracking, he didn’t know what he was supposed to talk about or how much information he was allowed to reveal to second-hand friends that he wasn’t truly acquainted to- and what if he hit a touchy subject? What if he got hungry but was too polite to interrupt and ask for food? What if-

“Jo, cool your jets, I stopped at the apartment for a reason!” Mary unlocked the doors in the car with a click and looked over a Joseph with a sort of knowing smile. He had already put the poor guy through so much rebellious change in one day, he needed a break. “I get it, you can chill here while we go- there’s leftover takeout in the fridge.” Mary laughed as Joseph’s face lit up, his seat belt unbuckling as he let out a long sigh.

The car door swung open too fast for Joseph to hide his apparent relief, but he wanted Mary to know that he was thankful for her mercy. “You are a blessing, Mary.” Joseph stopped half way out of the door to lean over a press a kiss to Mary’s cheek, hoping that that somehow conveyed his gratitude. Mary just rolled her eyes and motioned for Damien to come up and take shotgun. Joseph finally stepped out into the fresh air, noticing how dark it had gotten- it must have been getting late. ��Please be safe, call if you stay the night?”

Mary nodded and sent a peace sign Joseph’s way as Damien closed the passenger door, knowing that no matter what Joseph would worry about her while she was gone. He was a kind soul like that. “Deuces, nerd, don’t get into too much trouble.”

Joseph waved as the car sped away and fished through his pocket for the key to their apartment, struggling to shove his hand deep enough into the tight pocket of his jeans to retrieve it. As he scaled the steps to their door, he realized that his stomach was growling. They really had been out for a while, huh? He was tired, but not ready for sleep, even if the soft sheets of his and Mary’s bed looked appealing right now.

Food. Right. How old was that take out in the fridge? Joseph was not ready to be a victim of week old take out- his stomach churned at the thought. Instead, he opened his wallet and stared at its contents. At least 50 bucks, and that could go a long way for crappy filler food, a few old receipts, some of those punch out cards he always forgot when he actually went to a place that used them, and the newest addition, a fake ID, proclaiming him to be 22-year-old Jared Hanson. Was this convincing? It looked real, but did it look real to anyone else?

Joseph turned to look into the full length mirror across the bedroom, staring at himself for a moment. It was weird to see himself looking so different than he had a few months ago, but he thought he was rocking the ripped jeans. His shoes were kind of clunky, and he wished his glasses would go far, far away, but that eyebrow piercing was cool, right? He knew at least a few people who would have to do an open-mouthed double take if they saw him right now.

The piercing kind of hurt, and to be honest, the holes in his jeans were making his legs kind of cold, but he felt so empowered that he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was being an individual, a rebellious college student, and he didn’t have to have a reason for it did he? He just felt good! He was allowed to be whoever he wanted and wear whatever he wanted- even if he kind of wanted to throw on sweatpants and give up for the day. He was going to keep these jeans on and show the world, he was god damn determined.

He took one last glance at himself in the mirror before pocketing his wallet, fake ID enclosed, 50 dollars safe and sound. He was going to go out and he knew just the place. A bar, any bar really, so he didn’t know the place. He knew nothing about bars, actually. All he knew was that his 22-year-old fake ID  alter-ego Jared could get into any bar he wanted to. So once he made sure he had his keys, he threw on an ugly salmon colored jacket over his shirt and locked the door behind him, taking his grumbling stomach out into the world and looking around. Gosh darn, it was cold outside.

There were a few signs with bright lights that had turned on since the last time he was outside, and the small street looked almost pretty with the lighting. (It wasn’t a very attractive street.) There was a café that had earlier in the day closed, one of those weird but cute antique stores that was probably only open on Wednesdays or something, the road to the college campus that wasn’t very far away, a small family diner with a small glowing ‘open’ sign, and all the way at the end of the street was a bar with obnoxious neon light radiating down onto the pavement. That was his fate, right?

No big deal, walk up, show someone his ID, get in, get a beer? One beer wouldn’t get him drunk, right? What would his parents think, their little boy going out and getting drunk underage, oh my stars, he would never hear the end of it. He could do it, though, show himself that he was capable of walking in that bar in his new clothes, with his new piercing, with his 1- 22 year-old self. Yeah, he could totally do that.

He could feel the light washing over him as he approached the building, his hands fidgeting in his pockets as he approached the door. His thumb and forefinger grabbed hold of his ID preemptively, and his heart was beating faster than normal without his permission. A few people outside of the bar were staring at him as he made his way to the door, following a crowd of people who looked young, but older than him. Act natural, right? Confidence is key.

A few people in front of him pulled their IDs out and Joseph did the same, getting nothing more than a strange glance before he walked into the bar. And he was in. He was in a bar. That was fine right? He was a year past legal adult. Two years under legal drinker, but he wasn’t not planning on getting wasted anytime soon. Was it morally wrong? Well, not if he shifted his morals. He realized that he had been standing in one place for too long, that he was probably expected to move and sit down somewhere.

A table would be sad, and maybe suspicious. He hadn’t thought about the fact that he was coming in alone, or the fact that he would have to talk to someone to order food or drinks. The end of the bar was fine, right? There was almost no one at the one end, but enough people scattered around that he wouldn’t look alone. He slid into a seat and tapped his fingers on the bar, hoping that the bartender would take a while to notice him.

Joseph heard the door open again, but he didn’t pay attention, more focused on toying with his wallet and rehearsing what to say when he had to order something. The man who walked in sure did pay attention to him, though. If Joseph had the ability to read minds he would know that the man’s exact thoughts were something along the line of ‘what is this poor boy doing here.’ It was easy to ignore groups of college kids drinking their final exams away, but it was not easy to ignore a scared looking twink of a college student sitting alone at the bar.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Joseph nearly jumped out of his seat when the man jumped into the seat next to him, but he tried to calm himself down. Someone thought he was old enough to be bought a drink, and that counted for something. Was this guy nice, though? Did he want something else? Maybe it was time to abort mission. The man adopted a concerned look onto his face, hoping that he hadn’t intruded on some internal conflict. “Are ya doing okay there, kid?”

Joseph finally looked over at the man, giving him a once over. Or a twice-over. He was a little nervous. The man was easily in his twenties, and a little older than most college students, but he gave off the vibe. He had a leather jacket on that was a little too big, and Joseph could only figure that it was his dad’s. He had messy dark hair, tight-but-not-too-tight jeans, and some nice hands that toyed with the ring on his finger. Ring on his finger. Married. Phew. “Me- I, yeah!”

Joseph’s jittery nervousness thankfully didn’t scare the man away, he just slumped against the bar and motioned the bartender over to where they sat. “What do you want to drink, you look like you deserve one.” Joseph attempted to ask for beer and the man laughed at his cluelessness, and the fact that he didn’t even know what kind of beer he liked. He really was new to the bar scene. “Two shots of whiskey, please.”

Joseph realized that he was being bought alcohol. And that he hadn’t eaten. He wasn’t an expert on how fast people got drunk, but if he knew anything, he knew that drinking on an empty stomach would get him drunk faster than he wanted to be. And he already would get drunk fast if he hadn’t had alcohol before, right? He was going to turn into a train wreck pretty fast. “You don’t have to-“

“Shush, you obviously don’t know what you’re doing, you need a hand.” Joseph stared at the alcohol that was pushed towards him and then back at the man who had bought it. He could have easily said no thank you and went home. And that would be his fate wouldn’t it, being a bad rebel? No, he was going to prove himself. He snapped his head back and downed the shot like he saw in movies, feeling the burn down his throat but ignoring it the best he could. He must have made a weird face, though. “Damn, maybe not as much help as I thought you did.”

“I- yeah, thank you.” The man looked Joseph up and down this time, taking in more than he should have for being a married man. He wasn’t going to make any moves, that was the farthest thing from his mind, but he could appreciate Joseph for what he was. Especially after he took that shot. It was a little sexy. He shook his head and looked back up to where Joseph sat his glass on the table. Joseph could feel the man’s eyes, but he didn’t really care.  He was confident that the guy was loyal to his wife, he seemed like a good man. “What are you doing here?”

The other man’s shot was the next to go, a laugh rising into the air once he swallowed. “Ah- you first, what’s got you in here.” For some reason Joseph figured he wasn’t a man to drink beer often, definitely a shots man. Joseph was also sure that he just witnessed the man order more shots. Wow, he might have been screwed. “And I want the real shit, you look like the most scared, failed attempt of rebellion I’ve ever seen.”

Joseph’s face went a little red, and he tried to avoid talking. He had no idea how long it would take him to start feeling weird on an empty stomach. “I- well…I don’t know what I’m doing.” The man laughed and gave Joseph another shot, muttering something about ‘me too, kid,’ that make Joseph feel a little better. Maybe they were both at a lost point in life. He felt oddly ready to spill his thoughts to stranger, and he knew that wasn’t the alcohol talking yet. “I’m supposed to be going to college, that’s why I’m here, but I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Ah, I get that.” The man looked kind of tired while thinking about that, still sipping on alcohol. “I know I look kind of old for college, but I still don’t know what I’m doing.” There was a story to be told there, and Joseph was determined to uncover it and help, but he realized he was supposed to be getting the help right now. Curse him and his kind, helpful charm.

He didn’t know how to explain without sounding like he hated his parents, but they were a part of the reason that he was so conflicted. “It’s- my parents.” Whoop, there it is. “They probably want me to study religion if anything, and I-“ He sighed as he attempted not to delve too far into why he wasn’t sure what to do. That would require insight into his past, and that was a little too personal and complicated. “I just- have other interests.”

A reassuring nod kept Joseph on the right track, encouraging him to keep going on with his story. “I really like helping people,” Joseph’s eyes lit up as he thought about the possibility of becoming a counselor, maybe even still helping with church but in a different way. “I’m thinking about child psychology- or psychology in general,”  The thought….excited him more than he ever thought it would. He could really be a positive force instead of a negative one, offering help and encouragement instead of hate and violent words. “But doesn’t psychology kind of…go against my religion or something?

The man took another shot after taking a deep breath, looking like he was trying to collect his thoughts. What was that, his third shot? Joseph, feeling self-conscious of his drinking ability, downed his second. He hadn’t even realized that there were two more in front of him. The man in front of him cleared his throat and Joseph grabbed his third shot, settling in for an inspirational speech. “You know what? Fuck it, man.”

Joseph grinned back at the statement, but raised an eyebrow, not sure exactly what he meant. He had half a mind to scold the man for dropping an f-bomb.  Joseph sipped a small amount of whiskey and immediately regretted it, making a face before downing the rest. This was dangerous territory wasn’t it, four shots would be too much, right? Whatever, this was fun. “How so?” Was he a little tipsy? Maybe. So many questions. He did, however, refrain from yelling at the man for using the f-swear.

“Just- fuck it, it’s ’a good philosophy.” The man shrugged and looked down at his drink, possibly trying to hide a story, but Joseph was feeling adventurous and he wanted to hear it. His head was swimming a little, a weird disoriented feeling that he wasn’t used to, but he was still fine. The man did, however, snap his fingers at one point to get Joseph’s attention.

Joseph shook his head a little in an attempt to regain his concentration, a smile on his face. “C’mon, there’s more than that, give me the speech.” The man tried to look confused, but Joseph was giving a very knowing gaze, even if he almost fell off his chair when he moved too fast. “I can feel it, you want to give the inspirational speech, hit me with it.” Joseph made a hand gesture that signaled the man to go on.

“I came to college with no fucking idea what I was doing- I had just had a kid and I was trying to get my shit together, and I still am.” He had a determined grin on his face, and he downed another shot, seemingly only slightly buzzed even after Joseph had lost count of the amount of alcohol he had consumed. “But now I’ve got a beautiful 4 year old daughter and a degree in film studies because- movies are cool!” He laughs and slides a tip to the bartender as he pays for his drinks, handing a final shot over to Joseph. “So fuck it, do whatever makes you happy, kid.”

The man cheered softly as Joseph drank down his last shot, the fourth or fifth? He lost track, and he felt weird after what- a half an hour of conversation? Maybe longer? He was still kind of hungry, and he was a little nauseous…woah, a little tired, but he was fine. Totally fine. “Whatever makes me happy?” Joseph chuckled a little, but he had to stop when he felt kind of sick. Bathroom? Good idea. Standing? Nah. The moment he tried to stand he had to hold onto the bar, and he immediately started laughing at himself, quite uncontrollably.

“Yeah- are you okay?” The man stood in front of Joseph, holding out a stabilizing hand just in case he started going down. Did a few shots really hit the guy that hard? Maybe more than a few…but they had been talking, maybe he gave the poor guy too much.

Joseph vaguely registered a hand on his shoulder and he tried to calm himself down to respond, ignoring the look of concern on the face of the man in front of him. “Me? Fine- I’m fine, are you fine?” Joseph attempted to start walking again and had to stop and stabilize himself, almost losing his balance.

The man caught Joseph and made sure to keep him upright, his heart racing just a little faster than normal now that he had a drunk college kid on his hands. “Shit, man, come here.” He swung an arm around Joseph’s shoulder and let the drunken idiot lean against him, even though Joseph was a little taller. “How- is it your first time drinking whiskey?”

Joseph giggled and fell against the other man’s shoulder, not even noticing that he was being led towards the door. “It’s my first time drinking, buddy, and I think I’m doing pretty good- I’m hungry, are you hungry?” Joseph brought a hand to his stomach and thought about food, remembering vaguely that he never did order any at the bar. Man, he could have gone for a burger and some fries, something greasy and gross.

“Shit, your first time drinking?” The man sighed and pressed a hand to his face, hoping that they weren’t attracting attention from anyone else in the bar. “Did you not eat anything?” Joseph’s stomach grumbling and his nauseous-ness let the man know that he hadn’t eaten anything before coming to the bar. What an amateur. “Why did you let me give you that many shots on an empty stomach and your first time drinking?” The man quickly deduced that the kid hanging off of his arm was not used to rebelling- he got the feeling when he mentioned his religious childhood, but that solidified it.

“I wanted to seem cool- and it was free alcohol for me.” Joseph stated this bluntly, apparently losing his verbal filter as the alcohol clouded his judgement. He giggled and nearly ran into the door before the man could open it. Wow, he was having the time of his life. Poor guy wasn’t going to feel so great in the morning.

“Alright- well, I’m Robert.” The man- Robert- gave Joseph a gentle slap on the face to get his attention, and he tried to put on a friendly smile. ”And I’m gonna walk you home so you don’t accidentally kill yourself.” Robert looked out into the dark street, the realization dawning upon him that he had no idea where the kid lived. “Where are we headed to?” Robert was fully aware of how insane they looked at the moment, staring into the darkness in complete silence while waiting for Joseph to remember where his own house was.

Joseph hiccuped and covered his mouth before pointing to his apartment building, thankfully visible down the street. Ugh, he felt kind of gross. He was not going to be happy if he vomited. “Can I lay down?” He looked down at the parking lot underneath him, but it was looking more and more appealing by the second.

Robert sighed and held Joseph up to prevent him from deciding to pass out on the street. He did not put it past anyone that hungry and full of alcohol to spend a night on the pavement. At least his house was close. “Alright, you know where you live, that’s a start.” Could the drunk guy probably make it home without him? With enough effort, yes, but Robert felt like the situation was his responsibility. Hell, he could remember the first time he got drunk, and it wasn’t pretty.

Joseph turned them towards his apartment building once they walked down the street, fumbling for a key in his pocket while they made their way towards an intimidating looking set of stairs. “Yeah, well I know what I’m doing, Bobert- Robert.” Joseph let out an ugly low giggle, pulling his key out and almost dropping it. “Bobert.” Robert looked like he wanted to growl back at that name. The kid was lucky that he was drunk and stupid or Robert would have kicked his ass.

After a thankfully short walk up the stairs, Robert took the key from Joseph and unlocked the door to the apartment to save himself the key fumbling and dropping. Joseph spotted the couch as soon as they walked in and flopped onto it. God, he was going to wake up uncomfortable if he slept there. “Don’t you- you have a bed, right?” Joseph rolled over and buried himself in the couch, cuddling a pillow close to his chest.

“Too far away, time for sleep.” Robert placed the key on the coffee table in front of the couch and found a notepad to scrawl on so that the drunk kid, and anyone who stumbled upon him, would hopefully have a clue what was going on.

Robert headed for the door, not sure if he should disturb Joseph’s drunken dozing on the couch. “Good luck, kid.” A muffled groan full of tired energy was all he needed to know that the kid was alive before he vacated the apartment, laughing softly to himself as he walked down the street.

-xxxxx-

Hey- nameless drunk college kid from the bar, ( I just realized I never got your name), sorry for letting you drink yourself half to death, that was pretty shitty. I hope you’re doing alright because the second I got you here you crashed on the couch. Remember, do whatever makes you happy, kid. –Robert

-xxxxx-

“Joseph?” Mary’s voice rang through his ears as he slowly drifted into consciousness, an awful headache hitting him when he tried to sit up. He gave up and eased himself back down to the couch. Mary was holding a piece of paper in her hands and reading it over for a second time, trying to absorb the information. “Who the hell is Robert-“ Mary seemed more amazed than angry. “And did you actually go out last night, alone? I didn’t think you had it in you!”

Joseph groaned and held his head in his hands, kicking his uncomfortable jeans off after a night of sleeping in them. He could feel Mary’s eyes on his as she laughed. He looked like a mess, hair ruffled, shirt hiked up above his stomach, jeans now around his ankles. “Robert…?” Joseph had to search his mind for memories of the past night. Handsome, nice guy from the bar. “Oh! He bought me drinks last night and gave me life advice, nice guy.” Joseph buried his head in the pillow in front of him, hoping that Mary was done interrogating him.

Mary handed the note to Joseph and waited for him to turn his face away from the pillow. “Huh…was he cute?” Joseph groaned again and reached out to grab the paper, looking over it quickly with a pained smile on his face. He couldn’t seem to make the smile go away either for some reason.

“He was attractive by conventional standards.” Mary scoffed at the prim and proper way that Joseph had to put it. Joseph caught himself admitting that the man had been attractive. He needed to go back to sleep.  “He was also married- why are you asking?”

“Nothing, Jo, get some sleep.” Mary giggled as she walked out of the room, heading towards the kitchen. God bless her soul, she was making breakfast. Joseph stared back at the note before setting it on the table again.

Do whatever makes you happy, kid.

Those words of wisdom would stick with him. Whatever made him happy. He had a few ideas.

[imtheswanqueen2010]

Golden Warmth

Summary: Inspired by Panic! At The Disco’s Far Too Young To Die

Dan and Phil have been friends, and peasants, for as longs as they can remember, only having each other to get through life and living in a country strictly governed by a cruel King. On one unfaithful night, Phil's life turns upside down, as everything he'd ever known changed suddenly, and he was forced to run away, but, luckily, he had Dan by his side. Now, with little to no money and having to make it as far away from the village they lived as possible, Phil is trying to understand his feelings and finally be happy, while being aware of the threat that "they" could come after him anytime.

Read it on ao3

Word Count: 16.5k

Warnings: Anxiety, anxiety attacks, physical violence, rape/non-con, suicidal thoughts, suicidal attempt, internalized homophobia and religious conflict

Author’s Notes: after quite some time writing this, it’s finished and i’m so proud!! thanks to my beta @spookysonofabitch​ and @phandom4ever​ for their art ALSO GO CHECK OUT THEIR OTHER WORKS THEY’RE PRETTY GOOD. it was fun participating in the pbb and maybe i’ll join it next year again, just hope i don’t make them suffer as much as i did again :))

Everything was golden and it all seemed so perfectly fake; how could such a beautiful life be possible? Well, at least, not for Phil.

All Phil had ever known were monochrome colors, a life full of melancholy, sad expressions, tiredness and never getting anything back for everything he’d ever given; except for the warm shade of brown of his best friend’s eyes. And he was lucky to see those eyes every day for seventeen years; Phil could never get tired of them. Actually, he could never get tired of Dan; the boy was like his personal salvation, making him hate that life a bit less.

“This may be one of the most beautiful days I’ve ever seen,” the boy lying right next to Phil said in a soft tone, a genuine smile on his face that quickly faded. “But even a day like this can’t be perfect.”

The sky was somehow a mix of orange and pink, but its reflection made everything golden. The crops looked as if they were worth a million pounds and so did the lake that lay in front of them. It was so hot and it looked like there might've been a bit of hope for both of them, the way the sun brightened up everyone else’s day was magnificent; a miracle, some may say. And did they need more days of pure happiness, where nothing was bad and everyone was just there, living.

Phil turned to face Dan and he stopped breathing for a moment, Dan looked like a sculpture lying in the sun’s golden light, each one of his features engraved impeccably. When did Dan even get like that?

“Nothing lasts forever, but days when the sky looks like this will always come around, no matter what, Danny,” Phil answered.

“That was beautifully cheesy.” Dan laughed and turned to Phil. “But stop calling me Danny!”

“You’ll have to stop me then, Danny.” Phil laughed, his tongue sticking out. That was a honest bit of happiness, if only they could have that all the time.

But it wasn’t possible to achieve such happiness where and how they lived. They could only pursue that, but, deep down, they knew that just wasn’t realistic. And their time there, lying in the sun and feeling the grass under their back was running out, they should get back soon, they didn’t want to meet the consequences of them staying there ‘till longer than the sunset.

“It’s getting late, we should head back,” Dan said. The boy got up quickly, Phil, however, didn’t want to move from there.

He was so comfortable there, lying as if time didn’t exist and he could appreciate everything that surrounded him. Now going back to the village and trying to survive wasn’t an option, Phil could easily give all of that up, he’d already accepted the fact that nothing would ever change in his life, that it would always be the same as ever; he’d find a wife, have a couple of kids and that would be it.

Then why couldn’t he just give up?

“Hey, Philly, stop daydreaming, let’s go,” Dan whispered softly, as if any word would cause Phil any harm, because, really, they would.

Dan helped Phil get to his feet and they started making their way home in utter silence, but it wasn’t that kind of awkward silence, because words weren’t necessary for Dan to comfort Phil when his friend was sad, which happened more often than not.

“Do you ever think about joining the rebellion?” Dan broke the silence.

Phil shuddered; he didn’t want to dwell on that in that moment. “Yeah, but I don’t think I would.” He looked at his friend and was met with a confused look. “Don’t get me wrong, I hate the monarchy too, but I don’t think I’d be the most suited person to join them, I can’t do anything.”

“Yes, you can, Phil. You’re smart, but you’re just too pure to join them, that’s the truth,” Dan commented and they both chuckled.

“What about you? Planning on joining them?” Sadness was so obvious in Phil’s tone; he thought about how he was be so easy to read.

“Probably. You see, we both know there’s not much for anyone who lives in the village, we’ll have the bad same lives as everyone, or even worse. And I don’t think there’s any sense in doing that, but you already know that.”

Phil did know about that. Dan was constantly talking about how he needed to do something important with his life, Dan needed to do something that said he was here and that he left his mark on the world. Phil didn’t think like that because he knew that was unrealistic, how could someone like them do such a thing? But his friend didn’t think life could make any sense without a meaning.

“And I think if I join the rebellion I’ll have a purpose in my life, something to fight and live for.” Dan paused and thought for a second. “Even if a die at some point, I’d be dying so that people can have a better life in the future, and that’s what matters right?”

Dan looked away and Phil didn’t answer, did he really need to though? Well, he didn’t even know how he could even respond to that.

“But you wouldn’t be there,” Dan said.

“You'd meet new people, Dan, you know that, right?”

“Yes, but they wouldn’t be you.” Dan gently elbowed Phil. “Who would listen to my deep thoughts at night? Or keep me company?”

“Fair point.” Phil chuckled.                  

They were getting closer to the village and the sky was almost pitch black, but they knew the path to there, after all, they had gone to that corn field since they found it ten years ago, so that wouldn’t be a issue.

“When does your mom get back?” Dan asked. That was a touchy subject, but he wanted to check on Phil.

“She said she'd get back next week, but she wasn't entirely sure.”

“I see,” Dan said, almost a whispering. “Have you ever wondered where she goes? Or have you at least tried to ask her?”

“C’mon, Dan, of course I have, but she never told me anything and always got mad when I questioned her.” Phil looked behind him, as if he was waiting for his mother to appear from behind a tree. “I remember this particular day, I think I was six and I tried to follow her to wherever she goes. I ended up walking in circles and then I was back home ‘cause she realized I was following her. I got lectured that day.”

Dan laughed briefly and fixed his fringe. “What do you think she does? Got any theories on that?”

“I’ve speculated lots of things before, but, honestly, as long as she is okay and makes some money, I don’t care about what she does.” That wasn’t exactly the truth, because Phil cared a lot about what she did for a living, but she had guaranteed him that she was not doing something wrong and that she was not getting hurt.

“Great.” Dan scoffed at Phil and the boy did nothing but stick his tongue out. “Um, have your heard of a girl from the village, Michelle?”

“I have, why?”

“Heard that she’s into you.” Dan’s tone sounded sort of strange, but Phil couldn’t quite read it, so he just ignored it.

“And?” Phil chuckled and he realized he was almost at home, oh no. “I’ve talked to her before, but she’s just… I don’t even know, I just don’t like her.”

“C’mon, she’s not that bad.”

“Are you trying to make me into her?” Phil amused Dan. They both laughed out loud and they were near Phil’s place. “So, this is it.”

“D'you think we meet again tomorrow?” Dan asked, but, this time, Phil sensed some kind of desperation in his voice.

“I don’t think so; I’ve got things to do, sorry.”

“Okay then, bye.”

Dan came closer and hugged Phil and time stopped for a couple of seconds. Phil wished he could just stay there forever, feeling all that warmth and affection that he always craved on every cold night, when he was all by himself in the dark. Dan was his favorite person, not that Phil knew lots of people, but, even if he did, Dan would still have been the only person he would ever need.

Phil watched as Dan made his way to his house, his silhouette fading in with the darkness around them; there were no lamps around the village and only the light from candles inside the houses lit the street. When his friend was already gone, and probably home already, Phil knew that he was all by himself now, and the time had come, a look in the mirror confirmed that: he looked worse than he’d ever been; his dark fringe was all messy and the bags under his eyes were so deep, as if he hadn’t slept for ages, which was true, he was so exhausted but he couldn’t bring himself to sleep.

The dark-haired boy felt drained, physically and emotionally drained, how could he keep on living like that? Was that even living? His thoughts were interrupted as soon as he walked into his room and saw the noose hanging on the ceiling and a chair opposite it. He hadn’t killed himself last night, but how long would Phil last? Maybe a day, or a week, months or years perhaps, but, right now, he couldn’t take it anymore.

Phil stood on the chair and put his neck around the noose. He just needed to jump and everything would be over. Nothing would bother him and he wouldn't feel any emotion ever again. Phil could do it and it was the right thing, right? It would be quick and then it would all be over. His right foot was hanging in the air now, yeah, he was going to do it.

What about all the questions he would never know the answer to? That didn’t matter. And all the little things he would never be able to interact with again? That also didn’t matter. Phil stepped a bit forward and the noose was getting tighter around his neck.

But then he made a silly mistake: he thought about his mother and Dan, the only ones who could ever love him. What would happen to them after Phil died? What would be the consequences of him taking his life? Was it worth to take his own life just to see two other people he loved taking theirs? And, even if they lived after Phil’s death, nothing would ever be the same and it would be his fault. Just the thought of his mother or Dan finding him, dead and hanging in the air, sent chills up his spine.

“’For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’,” Phil mumbled as he took his neck off the noose and sit on the chair, feeling numb and staring at the noose. “Pointless devotion.”

He spent some time sitting there, minutes, or maybe even an hour, staring at that thing that could’ve been the death of him, and wishing that some kind of miracle would happen and turn things around. But Phil was nothing but a simple peasant, who was doomed to a live an annoyingly bad and normal life. So he did the only thing he knew exactly how to do: he went to bed and, for the first time in weeks, but with dry tears in his eyes, Phil slept.

The sun was bright up in the sky, illuminating everything and waking up everyone. Unfortunately, that single night of sleep wasn’t enough to make Phil feel refreshed and he needed more sleep, or, at least, a day in bed doing nothing at all; but he had things to do, important things, and he couldn’t let down one of the people that was one of the reasons he didn’t kill himself last night.

When Phil finally mustered his courage to get out of bed, he knew he’d lost the opportunity to start his day early and then he’d be able to get home sooner, and now he felt like an even bigger fail for doing that. There’s really no hope for me, thought Phil, though things might just keep getting worse. He was also aware that there were people living in worse conditions than him, which made him feel even worse.

He started his day eating way less than yesterday; Phil didn’t want to eat anyway, but he still needed to eat to maintain his body, otherwise he would collapse soon after finishing doing everything he was going to do. Then he made his way to the crops behind his house, and, thankfully, the crops were ripe, even though that meant he’d have to spend hours harvesting them, but that would make some money, maybe even more than enough.

Finally, after almost four hours, he was done harvesting and now he had to go to the village center, where everyone sold their goods and usually met up for an event, and, as no one could never get near the palace, they’d also usually announce something in the center, where all peasants could do no harm to the nobility or the royal family. Phil gathered all fruits and vegetables and started walking towards the center, it was only a ten-minute walk from his house to there, but he already felt worn out so he was slightly slowing his pace.

The center wasn’t a beautiful place, but it was the most organized place in the village, of course. It was basically a big circle, and it worked almost like a fair, there were people who sold things and people who bought things; the richest people in the village used to live nearby. There were some royal guards just to make sure no one would ever try starting a revolution right there or something, or, at least, that’s what they were supposed to do, but they always wound up picking on someone or maybe even beating them up just for fun. Phil tried to avoid them, but it was impossible: he had to go through them to get to the center.

“Look up; I need to see who you are,” Nathaniel, one of the guards, said. Phil looked at him and his hands began to shake, but he had to try and stay calm, sell the things, and go home. Easy. “Thought you were dead, Lester. It’s been ages since you’ve last come here.” Nathaniel smirked as he talked to Phil, and the boy flinched. And the guard was right; when Phil’s mom was around he would do anything, sometimes even overwork himself, to escape going there and seeing some specific guards.

Nathaniel was tall, even taller than Phil, he had a dark skin, a beautiful shade that looked like the sky late at night and his hair was black and very curly. Nathaniel, as well as all the other guards, was a handsome man, and he seemed so polite and righteous, but he was everything but that. Although everyone knew what the guards did to some specific people, they would never say a thing out loud, too afraid of what could happen to them.

“Yeah.” That was all Phil was able to say.

“Go on then.” Phil stepped forward but then Nathaniel grabbed his arm. “Will we have some fun later? We’ll let you decide what you want,” He whispered.

Phil quickly unleashed himself from the guard and ran to a corner far away from the guards. He leaned against the wall and tried to control his breathing, but he didn’t accomplish that. The dark-haired boy felt the tears in the corners of his eyes and just completely sat on the ground, sobbing all alone. What was it that got him like that? And why did he have to break down all the time? Phil was just so weak and could barely keep it together.

After a while, Phil was able to convince himself that it was okay, he was okay and he just had one thing to do; so he grabbed his bag, which contained all the fruits and vegetables, and walked towards a table.

“Hey, Will,” Phil said, trying his best to sound like he hadn’t just cried, but it was inevitable. He was sure the look on his face couldn’t hide his red nose and puffy eyes.

Will was a nice old chap, a simple merchandiser and he paid very well, or perhaps he just liked Phil. The boy had known William since he was little, back when he’d come to the center with his mother once in a while, but then, after a certain day, it began and Phil stopped going there. Will was like a grandfather for Phil, sometimes he’d go to the Lester’s house and just hang out with Phil, teaching him things and playing games with him, as if the dark-haired boy was the only kind of family he’d ever had.

“How’ve you been, kid?” Will answered. He looked at Phil and his expression changed quickly. “To avoid seeing them again when you go back home, go through the woods, behind Ransom’s house. It’ll take longer, but you will be fine, okay, sea boy?”

It was impossible for Phil to not smile at the nickname.  Will started calling Phil “sea boy” when the old man told Phil about the ocean, all the animals and plants that inhabited it and how beautiful it looked when the sun reflected on it on summer. Then, Phil just got even more curious about the ocean and always wanted William to take him and his mother to the beach. He was so interested in the sea that he found the corn field with Dan, where there was a lake that the two boys loved.

“Here you go,” Will handed Phil the money. “Now, be careful and get home safe.”

“Alright, thanks for everything.” Phil smiled.

Phil counted the money and thankfully, it was more than enough, actually, even more than more than enough; he’d have to thank Will for that later, but now he was focused on getting back home and then just lying in bed contemplating his lack of strength and will to live. The boy walked over to Ransom’s house, which was located almost on the end of the village and belonged to a man who hadn’t left his house in years, some people said that he’d died, but no one never confirmed it; and then he found a path behind the probably dead man’s house. It looked like no one had gone through there in years, the grass was very tall and Phil couldn’t see much far ahead because the path curved and then all he saw were trees, but he began to walk anyway.

He knew he would get home late and even more tired than he already was, which was bad, but then he’d have basically nothing to do on the next day and would be able to spend the whole day in bed, or maybe hang out with Dan and forget, for some hours, that he had to exist and be a functional member of society, instead of just a boy joking around and having fun with his friend. If only I could spend the rest of my life with Dan, Phil thought, no, no, no; that’s weird and not possible. Then Phil remembered another problem: if he didn’t off himself, where would he find someone to be with him? Could he do that? He could ask Michelle to hang out with him another time and give her a chance, but would he be happy by her side? Well, that was a question for another time because right now the dark-haired boy just wanted to go to bed; and, thankfully, he was almost home.

It was such a tiring day, but the sky looked so beautiful that it made Phil smile, and he wished he could see what’s it like up there, maybe travel to the stars; and, if they were right, he could ask Him why, just a simple “why”. But, for now, he was grateful to know that even if there wasn’t a reason to everything, nature would always remain as the most fascinating aspect about living on Earth. The sea, the sky, the plants, the animals, human beings; all part of nature, all stunning in their own way. Perhaps not everything had to have a meaning, just like his life.

The key to his house fell of Phil’s pocket and he collected it quickly, while sighing, and wanting to lay down anywhere, even in the street, he wouldn’t mind it. But there he was: standing in front of his home, still alive, breathing and somehow, kind of sane. Today he wouldn’t need the noose, not now when it was permanently wrapped around his neck, making him feel sick and half-dead. Phil unlocked the door and, at the sight of black hair, he was taken back. She was sitting on the floor, looking like a mess and sobbing out loud. The dark- haired tripped and almost fell down, but she caught him.

“Philip! I thought you were dea—” She held his shoulder tightly, but then pulled him into a hug. “I looked for you all over the village and when I saw that noose in your room I just—I—I assumed you had—”

She couldn’t even speak, and Phil began to cry as well, if only his mother knew what happened last night and why he didn’t do it. But Mrs. Lester looked so hysterical, she seemed like she wanted to say something important and had to do it quickly. The woman interrupted her crying and controlled her breathing, and then she looked at Phil and the boy saw bravery in her eyes; he knew that same look from before, every time his mother came back home after days of being away, she had that same look.

Phil thought she was going to argue with him and lecture him, but she pulled him into a hug and began to cry again, although that wasn’t the same honest crying he heard before. In a quick movement, she pulled his head to her shoulder and began to whisper in his ear.

“Now, child, I need you to listen to me and pay attention to what I’m gonna tell you, it’s very important.” Phil could feel how tense she was. “I’ve planned something revolutionary and I’m about to do something extremely dangerous. I need you to go, run far, far away from here; and then live. But, if they ever find you, be careful and do what you think it’s the right thing; I’ll always be proud of you, no matter what, okay?” Mrs. Lester really wasn’t crying, but her voice broke a little at the end.

“Mom, I—” Phil pulled away from her, but then she pulled him back into that hug.

“I’m not finished.” The boy didn’t need to look at her to know that she had that stern look on her face. “When I pull away, I’ll hand you some money and you’ll go away; find a path that no one knows and go through there, no one can know about this; now you understand why I’m whispering.

“I’ll probably never see you again, Philly, and I’m so, so sorry, but you need to know that I’m doing this for you, and for the future. I hope you can understand and forgive me one day, I never wanted things to turn out like this, but it’s necessary. I love you, my boy.”

She pulled away, handed Phil some money and began to caress Phil’s cheek. The dark-haired boy was crying, but his mother wasn’t, Mrs. Lester wouldn’t breakdown now that her son was about to go away forever. If that was it, the last moment they’d share together, she wanted Phil to remember her as a strong woman, who did everything for her son, which was true. And, even if he never discovered all the reasons for her behavior and why she was doing what she was doing, Mrs. Lester would be okay with that, because if Phil finding out about his life meant that bad things could eventually happen to him, her boy could be “blind” forever.

“I know you want out,” she spoke very softly, but every word cut deeply into Phil’s heart, he wouldn’t forget a thing about their last moment. “But I also know you want someone else more than you want out, so go for it, Phil; achieve happiness. What would be the point of me doing anything if you weren’t going to end up happy?”

Phil didn’t quite understand what she meant, but, deep inside, he knew and was happy that his mother approved and was supportive of it, but it just wasn’t possible, right? It couldn’t happen and there was no way it could ever work. But he longed for it, and, even though it wasn’t going to fix every problem he had in his life, it would mean his happiness, which was more than he deserved, but exactly what would give him have a meaning; a reason to wake up every day think that he wouldn’t go anywhere because of that special one.

“I think I should get going,” Phil said, his voice sounding so low he wasn’t even sure she’d heard him.

“It’s about time.” Mrs. Lester nodded and let go of him, but only after wiping away his last tear.

The boy turned to the door and went out, but this time, it was forever. He was never going to see that village, his house or his mom again, but that hadn’t settled in his mind yet. But, now, he had something more important to worry about: where would he go? No one could find him and he had to go as far away as he could go. Phil quickly remembered the way to the corn field, and how no one besides Dan and him knew about it and how it could lead to anywhere, really, he lived in the countryside, so the village boy could end up going to a big city.

And through his secret path he went, trying not to freak out, otherwise he wouldn’t even make it too far.

But, thankfully, it didn’t take long to get there, seeing as now Phil was running in the corn field; adrenaline forcing him to go further and further and making him feel more alive than he’d ever feel; Phil felt every heartbeat, every tired muscle of his body aching, but he had to run. Did he even have another choice? And, also the boy didn’t want to let his mother down; it would actually make him feel worse emotionally than he already felt. Phil couldn’t quite focus on his surroundings and it was so dark that the boy nearly fell three times, he couldn’t distinguish anything out there, and he just kept running anyway.

As he ran, the dark-haired boy noticed a silhouette floating on the lake, which scared him, obviously, after all, who could be there, knowing that only Dan and Phil knew about that place, on the lake, at night, after the village curfew? It could be anyone, and his mom warned him about “them”, so, reasonably, he should keep running; ignore whoever was there and keep moving, or he’d have to deal with whatever were the consequences of checking who that was.

But Phil’s curiosity overcame his fear.

The boy walked over to the body and he realized they weren’t floating, in fact, they were drowning. And Phil, being the good person he was, wanted to help, regardless of who that person was; after all, they might also help him, and did he need someone’s guidance right now.

Now, he wasn’t the strongest person, but maybe Phil could pull them out of the lake, and they were on the water, so the body was supposed to be lighter. It would be easy and wouldn’t take too long, or maybe Phil wasn’t thinking straight and that was the worst thing he could do at that moment. But when did he ever think straight? The boy didn’t even think he was straight, for God’s sake.

There was no light nearby and Phil didn’t quite know where he could and couldn’t step, and any misstep would cause him to probably drown as well, which was something he couldn’t afford. So he peered over the person to check how tall they were and try to calculate how far he would have to pull them, but then he noticed their body, their curly hair, and he recognized their outfit: Phil gave Dan that shirt a few years ago, the most special and the only gift Phil had ever given someone.

The dark-haired boy stopped breathing for a moment. That couldn’t be Dan because then, if that was really Dan, Phil would…

Phil was officially freaking out, that was Dan. His mind kept going “it’s Dan, it’s Dan, it’s Dan, it’s Dan, help him! You have to get him out of there, otherwise he’ll… ”, but the boy was paralyzed, he didn’t want to believe, he didn’t want that to be real; Dan couldn’t die, he was the only thing Phil could hold on to, right now more than ever; and that was the truth. The sound of Dan coughing made the dark-haired boy come to his senses and realized there was still a chance to save his friend before he choked to death.

He rushed to Dan and tried to pull him, but it didn’t work, instead of being lighter, the boy drowning felt so heavy; so Phil decided to try again, but this time he’d pull even harder. Phil was willing to rip his arms in half if it meant he would save Dan.

This time Phil realized there was something pulling Dan down, the other boy had his foot wrapped around something that kept him underwater, and he wouldn’t get out of there if he wasn’t released from whatever was trapping him. The dark-haired boy didn’t even think, he just acted and jumped into the water; despite of how dark it was, how cold the water was, and how tired and weary he felt. Phil traced down the side of Dan’s body until he reached his foot, but he needed to breathe. He went up and then down into the water again.

It felt surreal, being underwater. Life was just so easy when there wasn’t any noise around, when everything could end as fast as it had begun. Maybe joining Dan wouldn’t be a bad idea.

No, it was a bad idea and he couldn’t let his friend die. There was so much at stake; he wasn’t going to do it. Instead, he dipped and untied the rope around Dan’s foot, which was pretty tight around it, freed him and finally emerged with Dan, and, thankfully, he was still breathing, somehow.

“What on Earth were you doing Dan?!” Phil said under his breath.

“Oh, I was just trying to become a fish,” Dan answered, breathless, if Phil didn’t know Dan for such a long time, he wouldn’t be able to make out any word Dan said. “For fuck’s sake, Phil, what did it even look like? I was trying to kill myself, obviously.” At that point, Dan was basically clinging onto Phil, as the dark-haired boy had his arms hanging around Dan’s shoulder, which had his arm around Phil’s waist. “But what the hell are you doing here?”

Phil tensed and Dan stopped walking. Could he know about what Phil’s mother told him? Should Phil even tell Dan about it? Was that even a good time to tell him? Probably not, Phil thought, and decided to change the subject. “Are you okay? What happened? Why were you drowning yourself, but, like, on purpose?”

Dan rolled his eyes, but then his face changed and he looked away from Phil. “I—I—I don’t know how to explain it, Phil… I can’t put it into words, I—” He paused and tried to control his breathing, but it didn’t work and he was almost hyperventilating. “I don’t feel real and there’s no meaning in my life, there's nothing. So why waste years and years wondering and questioning, knowing I’ll never find an answer and feel empty forever, if I can just put an end to it all? Feeling insane—”

Dan was crying and Phil just felt his heart compressing, emotional pain almost turning into physical pain. And the worse part of that was the he didn’t even know exactly how to process that; no thoughts, no sentences, no words, he couldn’t explain the pain, he just felt it, and that was the worst part.

Phil tried to hug Dan, but the boy backed off and finally faced Phil, but he just looked incredulous, as he’d described. “You haven’t answered me.”

“Sorry?”

“What are you doing here?

Phil tensed. Couldn’t they talk about that later? Did they really have to do that now, after everything that they’d been through on that day? “Oh, nothing. Just wondering around, you know.”

“You’ve always been a terrible liar. And you’re all tense now that I questioned you.” Dan had a point and he was not going to change his mind, the boy wanted answers. “Why are you here, late at night, and just happened to find me?”

“I was following you.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“How’d you know?”

“Not only was I checking to see if there was someone behind me, but I’ve also been here for a long time, and no one came to help. I know you would’ve helped as soon as you saw me.”

Phil sighed, there was no way he could convince Dan otherwise. But he didn’t want to put Dan in danger, more endangered than he already was, and, to be quite honest, his mind was in overdrive, so Phil would try to make him go away. “Go home, Dan. Stay safe and don’t do anything that might hurt you.”

“Oh, yeah, right, as if. You saw me nearly drowning and you think I’m just gonna go home and keep living like nothing happened?” Dan shouted and scoffed. He pulled away from Phil, pulled the other’s hand to his and started walking. “I’m going with you to wherever you’re headed.”

“No! Dan, please!” Phil stopped and was facing Dan, his hands holding the boy’s shoulders. “You can’t go with me; I don’t even know where I’m going. I don’t even know what I’m gonna do or if I’m gonna survive…” Phil really should’ve thought about lots of things before he just rushed out of his house, but now was not the time to think.

“Okay, but I know for sure that if you don’t let me go with you I’m going back to that goddamn lake and fucking kill myself.” Dan shouted, sounding high pitched at the end. “It almost seems like you don’t even care about me, Phil.”

“Listen to me, Dan.” Phil placed his hands on Dan’s cheeks and looked him in the eyes. “I do care about you, seriously; I care so much about you that I didn’t off my—” He wouldn’t tell Dan. Maybe if things were different, he would tell him, or, perhaps, that night wouldn’t have even happened. “So do that for me, go home for me, live another day for me; don’t give up for me. I’ll be back tomorrow, don’t worry. You’ve still got—”

“I can’t, Phil! Don��t you understand?! I can’t do that, even if it’s for you.” Even though the boy was enraged, he didn’t move an inch. “And don’t you dare lie straight to my face like that, I know you’re not coming back!”

“Okay, you’re coming with me then,” Phil said, finally giving in to Dan; after all, he couldn’t let the boy all alone after he’d witnessed.

They started walking towards north, where Phil thought whoever “they” were wouldn’t be able to find them, and, if they ever did, the boys would be nearing the frontier of what one day was “Scotland”. Phil was walking too fast and Dan just couldn’t keep up, but he was anxious that someone would just come out of nowhere and they would be the people his mother warned him about. The two of them walked in silence, but they kept looking at each other, clearly worried about how the other was doing; considering that both of them actually had no idea of what happened to one another.

“Will you tell me what’s going on now?” Dan asked. “And, please, slow down, this is too much exercise for me. It’s not like we’re running away from something, or is it?”

“Um, a—Actually, yes, it is.” Phil hesitated. “We’re running from ‘them’. And, no, I don’t know who they are, or what do I have to do from now on, but I thought that it’d be better if we went to the north, for now.”

“Wait, are you really running away from some people, with no plan, like this?” Dan stopped Phil, who was getting really annoyed at that point.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Man, I should’ve really killed myself,” Dan mumbled.

“Hey, don’t say that!” Phil tried not to imagine if he got to the lake too late and Dan was already dead, but that thought alone was enough to make him shiver. “Also, you were the one who wanted to come with me, I told you to go home and stay safe, I never wanted you to get involved in any of this.”

“Phil!” Dan cried. “This is reckless! And you’re not telling me the full story, so you better tell me everything right now or I’ll drag you back to that village with me.”

Phil looked at both sides, just to make sure there was no one other than them there, and told Dan about what happened previously.

“But do you believe her?” Dan asked.

“Of course I do, she’s my mom, Dan.” Phil was astonished. “Also, how couldn’t I believe her after everything she’s done for me?”

“I don’t know, but that sounds like some crazy made-up story. Are you sure she hasn’t lost it?”

“Dan!”

“Sorry, it’s just that… That’s unbelievable, you know.”

“Yeah, but we can’t just go back now; both of us can’t, you know that.”

“C’mon, we can totally go back there and pretend that we’re still obnoxiously happy instead of this,” Dan responded, and turned sad at that exact moment. “Believe it or not, I’d rather keep running away from that place forever, never knowing where to stop, than going back.”

Phil was about to say something when he tripped over his feet and nearly fell with his face flat on the ground, but somehow Dan was quick and caught Phil by the hand.

“You OK there? You’ve been tripping over your own feet your whole life, I swear to God!” Dan chuckled. “If you keep tripping over everything one day I might not be there to catch you.”

“Good thing I won’t let you go anywhere but my side,” Phil said in a rush. “I mean, someone’s gotta be there to save me, yeah?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Dan intertwined their fingers, which made Phil’s heart suddenly do that flippy-over thing, but he ignored it, and they kept going north; two boys walking to somewhere, without any plan, carrying heavy pasts on their backs, and trying to hold on to last trace of hope for a better life, maybe. A life where they weren’t alone, or, at the very least, one where they had a meaning.

The months flew by, seasons changed, and Dan and Phil made their way up north. Somehow they were able to get there, but they thought they weren’t going to make it because they didn’t have much money to spend, they were on their own for basically the first time in their lives, and they hadn’t had much experiences, so it was all new. As expected, they faced some casualties, like someone stealing some money from them, all the nights they had to sleep on the ground because there wasn’t a campsite, having to eat even less food than they usually ate because they were running short of money. But, in the end, they made it; they settled in a village northwest, almost at the frontier. It was little, there weren’t many people living there, but, luckily, they were able to get jobs and even buy a house for themselves. Of course, it took them a lot of time to achieve all of that and get to the north, and they were still struggling.

But Phil knew that things had gotten better when he left the house feeling sort of free, a new sensation he had never felt before, and it felt so good; or when he caught Dan smiling for no reason, seeming more chilled and, perhaps, happier. The two of them worked at different places, at different hours, and were almost constantly working, but they always found some time to be together, they needed each other’s presence, it was reassuring, for some reason. They’d go to different places around the village and spent all their time alone, which they both would usually spend recharging, actually together. Dan and Phil were closer than they’d ever been, and that felt great.

In one of those nights they found a place that wasn’t too far away from the village, but it was distant enough so that they’d could find some peace, like the corn field they found years ago in the old village; they kept their tradition. They were both tired, but going there for maybe an hour or less was worth it because it was just so special to them. The two boys were lying side by side on the top of some hill, looking at the sky.

“Who’ve thought that eight years later we’d still be doing this?” Phil asked.

“Wow, Phil, that’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard.” Dan chuckled.

“It’s supposed to be cheesy!” Phil said as they both laughed.

They fell into comfortable silence for a while and Phil was already lost in thoughts. He felt confused, something seemed kind of off, or maybe it was just him being weird again.

“I still can’t believe that we made it,” Dan whispered and scooted a bit closer Phil.

Phil didn’t say anything, after all, they did make it, but he felt like something was missing; it just wasn’t enough. But what was missing? When would he feel whole? When would he feel like that life was enough? The boy had escaped from the place he dreaded, he had a steady job, a house, and was living with his best friend, someone who knew him better than himself. And now maybe there wasn’t enough air in the world because Phil felt like he was suffocating, he felt trapped and he needed to go away from there. He was freaking out and sure that anyone who had a quick glance at him would know that.

“Phil?” Dan said, he hadn’t looked at Phil yet. But then, when he turned to the boy lying next to him, Phil was silent, but he was shaking so much. “Are you okay? What happened? I—”

“Get me out of here, please,” Phil struggled, but managed to say.

Dan swiftly pulled Phil by the hand and they went to their house. They walked in silence, but Dan was constantly looking at Phil, searching for a sign of what was happening. Phil, on the other hand, was trying to avoid Dan’s stares at all costs, he just wanted to fade away; but he had to calm down, he didn’t want to make Dan worried, that was unnecessary, and he was too polite to say anything about his state. It took only ten minutes to get home, but for the dark-haired boy, it felt like an eternity.

“Here, sit,” Dan said, “I’ll get you some water.”

And Phil was left alone for two minutes while Dan went to the kitchen. He had to calm down, breathe and move on before Dan got back, but it was hard, it all came flooding back and he was so afraid; Phil hadn’t forgotten about what his mother told him about “them” and he lived thinking that they’d eventually come someday and all this happiness, this limited slice of heaven, would end. What scared him the most perhaps was what could happen to Dan, after all, he was doing so well and that made him feel so good; Phil couldn’t let anyone take that smile off Dan’s face. When the boy realized, his friend was back with a cup of water.

“Phil, talk to me, what happened?” Dan asked.

“I’m okay, don’t worry,” Phil answered. “I just felt a bit light-headed for a moment, but it’s fine now.”

Phil smiled weakly and he knew that Dan wasn’t convinced, but he saw the tension on Dan’s shoulders drop along with a sigh and that was enough for him.

“Sorry, I was just so worried about you,” Dan said, sitting next to Phil on their couch. “But is everything really fine now?”

“Yes, Dan, and I’m sorry I worried you.” Phil gave Dan’s shoulder a little squeeze. “But were you that worried about losing me? That’s adorable,” Phil teased.

“You know what? I’m never worrying about you ever again.” Dan elbowed Phil and they both started laughing.

“Well, if I had died you could’ve sold me for some money.”

“C’mon, you’re cute I could’ve made lots of money by selling you,” Dan said and immediately regretted it. “Wait, no, that’s not what I meant, I—”

“Then I’d make even more money if you died,” Phil said and winked. He got up and left the room: a playful smile on his face and a different feeling, something new, bright, colorful, and, honestly, terrifying.

A few days after Phil’s panic attack and Dan’s not-so-subtle slip, there was a change in the atmosphere, something was definitely different between them, and Phil was enjoying that; he even thought that he’d finally get what he always wanted. He actually didn’t quite know what that meant, that sudden slight difference in the way Dan would talk to him, because Dan expressed himself better with words, and the change in his own behaviour towards Dan, seeing as Phil usually expressed his feelings with gestures rather than words, because words were meaningless and people could fake them, but you couldn’t fake an act of love; he knew that. Phil learned that from his mother’s sacrifices.

But, for some weird reason, Phil didn’t think Dan was faking anything, or maybe he just wanted it all to be true.

That was always on the back of his mind, but tonight he had a chance to forget about that for a while, all of the people who lived in the village were gathered at the biggest house there to get to know and bond with each other. The hostess was a nice woman and everyone that lived among them seemed nice, so Dan and Phil decide to go to a “social event” for a change, at least this one time, Phil had insisted. The house was almost not big enough for everyone and there were about forty five people, which made both of them feel a little bit anxious, but they knew they were going to be fine having each other by their sides.

“Hey, so I know that we came here to meet everyone and be sociable, but can we just grab some food and sit in the corner?” Dan asked and Phil just chuckled and nodded, that was so Dan.

So he decided to go along with Dan’s new plan for the night and went to grab some drinks and something to eat. He saw people meeting each other in a corner and then some people listening to one guy playing the guitar while the other sang a nice song in the other end of the room. No one seemed to be paying attention to Phil, which made him relax a bit. He turned around and saw Dan sat down on a sofa staring at him, and, when he noticed Phil was looking at him, Dan chuckled and looked down and Phil forgot how to breathe for a moment. He started walking towards Dan, but then suddenly a girl came out of nowhere, even though he was sure there was no one near him, but he must’ve been distracted. They almost bumped into each other and Phil lost his balance.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, let me hold that for you,” the girl said and grabbed one of the plates Phil was holding. “Are you okay?” She placed a hand on Phil’s shoulder to stabilize him.

“Yeah, I guess,” Phil said. “But you don’t have to apologize, I should be paying more attention, I didn’t even saw you.” She handed Phil the plate. “And thank you for getting this.”

“No problem, but um—I actually wanted to talk to you, I’m Valorie.”

“I’m Phil.” He held out a hand to greet her, but she gave him a peck on the cheek, and Phil just stood there awkwardly.

“Sorry! We greet people like that where I’m from, it’s a habit I’m trying to kill.”

“No, that’s okay.” Phil chuckled, trying to make things less embarrassing, but he was sure it didn’t work, even though the girl didn’t look sorry at all.

“So,” Valorie started talking again, and she somehow made every word sound so exciting; she radiated energy. “I know that you’re quite new in the village so, you know, if you need help with something, or just want to talk sometime, you can stop by anytime! I live in that little yellow house near the lake, it’s impossible to miss it.”

“Um, yeah, okay, alright.” He made some effort to keep it cool, and seem relaxed, but Phil just wanted to get as far away from here, he wasn’t good at this social thing. “Thanks, Valorie.”

“You can call me Val.” Val winked and then went away.

Phil just stood there for a few second trying to process what had happened. Did she flirt with him or was he reading too much into that conversation? Either way, she seemed nice and he was glad he met someone, after all, that was why he decided to come to this event in the first place, but that still left a sour little taste in his mouth, something about interaction didn’t feel right. Phil decided to ignore whatever that feeling was, he could overthink later, right now there was just one person on his mind, and that was becoming quite a habit, one that scared him, but it was also comforting in its own way, exactly like the one who crossed his mind.

His eyes scanned the room for Dan and found the boy in the same place, but he didn’t have the same look on his face anymore, he had a different glow about him, something rather dark, which confused Phil. He knew Dan didn’t like this kind of things, he thought this was just an act, it didn’t actually mean anything and it was just something made up for appearance, but people were having fun, and the boy said he would too, but only if Phil was there with him; keeping him company, making him laugh and feel secure, the two of them on their little bubble, as it always had been.

But something had changed and Phil knew Dan wouldn’t be able to enjoy this night anymore.

Dan noticed Phil’s stare and walked over to him. “Can we go home? I don’t really feel like staying here anymore.”

“Okay. Let’s at least say goodbye to the hostess and—”

“You can do that, I’ll wait outside.” Dan spun and left, but he also left Phil there, who felt like he had missed something. Seeing Dan like that just made it all worse.

Phil said goodbye to the hostess, Valorie, and even to some people he was briefly introduced to, then went outside to find Dan. He was leaning against the wall, perhaps looking at the moon, but probably lost in his own thoughts, as Phil could almost see the engines twisting on Dan’s mind. He found himself trying to interpret each and every one of Dan’s features: the way his dark hair was curled, and how Phil always thought it would look even better if it was black like his; the way black suited him, and how Phil liked teasing Dan about just wearing black, even though he secretly loved that; the way his figure looked like it was perfectly sculpt, and how Phil couldn’t take his eyes away from each and every inch of Dan; and last, but also probably the thing he loved the most, the warm shade of brown of his eyes, and how Phil thought they always reminded him of home.

It was funny how home was directly connected to Dan, maybe it was all because of him. Phil could try and make some sense out of that, but then Dan finally realized he was standing there and offered Phil something that appeared a “sad smile”. Reason immediately slipped out of Phil’s hands, being replaced by something he couldn’t yet comprehend.

“Let’s go, I can’t stand all this socialization around me anymore,” Dan said and that sounded so shallow.

They walked in complete silence, but this had been strange, it wasn’t the usual comfortable silence, or the occasional glances exchanged between them, or the inside jokes they would make to make each other laugh and forget they were outside and doing sort of an exercise, like walking. Phil knew Dan was tense, he could almost feel the suspense in the air; he didn’t like whatever the hell that meant. But, unfortunately, the dark-haired boy couldn’t bring himself to ask Dan what was that all about. Phil was overthinking everything he’d done in the past 24 hours.

When Dan and Phil got home, Dan went straight to his bedroom and Phil followed him, then finally spoke up:

“Dan,” Phil said softly. He leaned against the door frame and watched as his friend laid on the floor without facing him. “What happened? Talk to me, please.”

Dan just replied with a groan.

“C’mon, Dan, I just want to help. I hate seeing you like this.”

Dan just silently sighed.

“If you don’t wanna talk about it, that’s okay; but let’s do something together so you can distract yourself. We could even bake something, you know it’d be fun!” Phil said, trying to make it sound exciting so Dan would at least face him.

Again, it did not work. So Phil just stood there, waiting for a response he knew would never come, but while he did that, he was trying to find a reason to Dan’s sudden behavior, even though he usually wasn’t reasonable while overthinking.

“Is it me? Did I do something?” Phil asked, his voice dropping. This time, Dan flinched. “Well, I’m sorry for whatever it was I did then. I—I’ll be outside.” Phil didn’t bother hiding the annoyance in his voice.

Even though it was kind of childish, he slammed the door and went out of the room. Phil wasn’t even actually mad at Dan, if anything, he felt hurt. He had gone and messed up something once again, but this felt even worse than anytime he had ever messed up, probably because this was about Dan. The boy still didn’t know what that meant, now everything was about Dan, or maybe everything had always been about Dan, he didn’t know that as well; but he felt like he should know what  his feelings towards Dan were. Phil never liked labels though, and, thanks to the monarchy that ruled over them, people used to label him and everything around them, causing both of the boys to hate labelling anything.

So should he actually name whatever was his relationship and feelings about Dan?

Footsteps grew closer and Phil never really got the answer to that question. He turned around to see Dan standing behind him, and before Phil could even ask Dan anything, Dan began to talk:

“You wanna know what you did? Okay. You fucking saved me and you keep saving me every day. And I’m not even talking about the day you pulled me from the lake.” Dan was gesturing and talking so fast that Phil was trying his hardest to keep up. “You, Phil Lester, are the reason I kept waking up every day since when we lived at that damned village ‘till this day! We live in a terrible world that I’ve never had any intention of staying too long, but then I’d see you and everything would go away. I’d make you laugh and I wouldn’t hate myself as much as I do. I’d look at your eyes and I’d just get lost in them; I literally could go swimming in them.” Dan chuckled and a single tear rolled down his cheek. Phil was just standing there, partly shocked, but he held a tender smile on his face. He tried to say anything, but Dan went on:

“And you’re so beautiful, you know that? People are always looking at you, but little do they know the amazing personality you have, you’re basically an angel. An angel who steals my cereal, but still.” They both giggled. “You’re my best friend and my favorite person, and, believe me, I’ve spent quite some time denying my feelings but I’ve been meaning to tell you all of this since that day in the corn field, but then I hadn’t been feeling good all day and, out of nowhere, that girl was talking to you and did you even realize the way she was looking at you? And then I thought she was flirting with you and I got jealous, which just made things even worse and I started thinking and I just wanted to shut down and go away from that place and, even though I hadn’t even talked to anyone, I felt so exhausted, but you already know that; I’m such an introvert, but that’s okay.” Phil nodded and Dan now had multiple tears falling down his face. “I just— Do I sound too soppy? I don’t know, but I just wanted you to know that you’re so amazing, Phil. You saved me, emotionally and physically and, to be completely honest, it’s always been you and it’s always been me falling for you and I don’t want that to ever change.”

Phil couldn’t find any words to express what he felt, he’d never be able to put into words everything about how much Dan meant to him; so he just grabbed Dan’s face and pulled him closer, locking their lips for the very first time. Dan was taken by surprise, but he leaned in anyway. It felt like they should’ve done this before, because they both felt passion, desire and longing. The moment was so wrong, but perhaps there wouldn’t have been a better time. They pulled apart and Phil had his hands around Dan's neck while the other held Phil’s waist.

“Guess you’re stuck with me now,” Dan said and the two boys shared a laugh.

“I still can get rid of you, don’t forget that.”

“Yeah, but then whose cereal will you steal, Lester?”

“I’d have to start buying mine; so I think I’ll keep you for now.” Phil decided.

Dan and Phil kissed again and Phil felt whole for once, as if the never-ending void that lived in him wasn’t that much of a void now. And just by looking at Dan he felt warm, like he belonged with the other one. The dark-haired boy couldn’t actually see himself with someone other than Dan, and now that was okay, because Phil knew he felt the same. Did something other than Dan really matter at that time? He was taught that the only men he could ever be devoted to were Jesus and God, which Phil thought was a pointless devotion, but when he was about to end his life he was thinking about Dan and his mom. Now he knew better, Phil could see how stupid he’d been; true love was the only kind of devotion he’d ever practice.

The next day Phil woke up feeling warmth, but this time it was different, there was someone next to him. For the first time in a long time, he smiled. Having Dan so close next to him was great and now he could get used to that, waking up every day with the only one who could make him happy, someone who brought color to his life: the most beautiful shade of brown, he could stare into those eyes all day long. Phil was dwelling so much on what happened last night, after all, it was basically a dream that had finally come true, that he didn’t noticed Dan was awake and now was facing him, or, at least, trying to, seeing as he was drifting between sleep and consciousness.

“Ugh,” Dan simply said, sighing. His curly hair was all messy and falling down his face, but Phil swore he’d never been so adorable.

“Good morning to you too.” Phil laughed. He fixed Dan’s fringe and placed his hands on Dan’s cheeks, caressing them.

“Why are you all happy right now? You’re usually a beast when you haven’t had your coffee.”

“After everything that we’ve been through and last night, don’t you think I deserve to be happy now?”

Dan smiled softly and leaned in for a kiss.

“I know, and I’m happy too, which, yeah, I know, is a surprise.” They laughed and kissed once again. “I’m happy for us, but you better go and make us breakfast before I start thinking and fall into another existential crisis.”

Phil chuckled and made them breakfast; and as he felt that today was a special day, he made them pancakes, something they hardly ate because the ingredients were often expensive where they lived. Dan and Phil had breakfast in bed together and it ended up being a three-hour breakfast, but it was the best one they’d ever had. They both felt bliss, finally everything was in its right place, and that was sealed with a kiss, or many kisses, in fact. The sun peeked through the window and illuminated Dan, which made his eyes brighter, almost golden. Seeing his eyes in that way took Phil’s breath away for an instant.

“Dan, you know we have get up at some point, right? We’ve got things to do,” Phil said. He didn’t want to leave the bed though; he’d never experienced such comfort and he wasn’t ready to leave, not yet.

“No, we don’t. I know you don’t have to work today, and neither do I,” Dan replied. “We don’t have to act like functioning humans today.”

“Actually, we do. There are some foods on sale today that we should go out and buy.”

“But is it actually worth it? We’ll have to get up, dress up and go out just to buy more food?”

“Are you really refusing food? I thought it was the most important person in your life.”

Dan laughed out loud; for some reason, he loved when Phil quoted things he’d said in the past. “That’s true, but Phil—” Dan whined.

“I can go on my own, don’t worry, it won’t take long.”

“Alright, I’m coming with you.”

“But I just said that—”

“Don’t say anything or I might change my mind.”

“Okay, just don’t take too long to get dressed.”

“Did I sleep with you to be bullied for things I can’t change about myself?” Phil laughed at Dan, sticking his tongue out and Dan just shoved him; He frowned, but it didn’t quite work because he was trying not to laugh at himself. “I have to change my outfit at least three times before going out, you know that! Do you have any idea of what I go through when clothes are different shades of black and don’t match?”

“Wow, that’s a tough one. But take your time then, goth model.”

“Shut up, rat,” Dan said playfully and smiled in a way that he only did when he was around Phil.

After half an hour, and Dan changing his outfit five times, they went out. Something seemed wrong, like as if something was out of place, and the fact that it was strangely sunny just contributed to that. There were more people outside than usual, and Phil knew for a fact that it wasn’t just because there was food on sale. He could hear someone shouting somewhere near them, but he couldn’t make out any words. For some weird reason, that was making him anxious, and, and, as they got close to a crowd, he just wanted to disappear because Phil felt like all eyes were on him.

“Hey, are you okay?” Dan asked.

“Yeah, it’s just�� Does this seem strange? I mean..” Phil was going to answer, but then he saw it: a flying object, people sometimes called it a helicopter, but it was a royal one. What were they doing there? “Wait, isn’t that a royal army unit?

“Well, yeah, it is, but what are they doing here? They’ve never come here before, I didn’t even think they knew about this village,” Dan replied calmly, but then he just looked very concerned after a moment. “Did they find out about us? Phil, what if they've come for us? What will they do? But they weren’t here before and I don’t think anyone would or could tell them, even though—”

“Philip Lester! If anyone knows Philip Lester, please, indicate us where he’s currently at, or bring him here!” someone shouted behind them.

Dan and Phil turned around to the voice, which happened to belong to a royal guard, and both of them paled instantly, why were they looking for him? What had Phil done? And Dan was right: it was impossible that someone saw them and told the kingdom about it. Phil felt so accused of something he didn’t even know what was about and the pressure was making him feel sick, he felt like everything was closing in on him. He clinged on to Dan’s hand, and he was sure he was smashing it, but he almost didn’t feel it, as if it was a hallucination, fake.

“We’ll give a hundred pounds to whoever finds or bring us Philip Lester first!” the guard shouted.

Phil wanted to run, get as far away from there as possible, but he just couldn’t, he felt as if he was paralyzed, frozen. It felt like everything was about to happen again, but he didn’t want to run away anymore. The boy finally had everything he’d ever wanted, he’d barely experienced happiness and they were going to take it away from him, or, at least, that’s how Phil’s mind was processing everything. He couldn’t lose everything they’d worked so hard to put together, he couldn’t lose their home; he was sure he had finally found his place in the world, and he couldn’t lose. But above all of that, he couldn’t lose Dan.

He almost lost Dan some months ago, and now this? It must’ve been God’s way of punishing him.

Dan grabbed his arm and began to pull him through the crowd, but somebody stopped them before they could distance themselves from everyone. A man pulled Phil close to him and screamed, getting everyone’s attention.

“I found him! Phil Lester! Here!” the old man screamed. Phil didn’t even know him and he was trying release himself from the man’s grip, but he was too strong and able to keep Phil in place.

“Thank you, sir,” the guard answered. The unknown old man pushed Phil towards the guard, who handed the man some money.

“Now, what are all of you looking at? Go back to your miserable lives!” another guard screamed before helping the first one grab Phil.

Both of the guards were strong, even though one of them was shorter than Phil, so he was trapped. He tried to break free from them, but it wasn’t working, and another guard came into the scene. He was somehow able to take a quick glance around and then realized there were more guards than he’d seen, and perhaps there were actually more of them than the usual, or necessary. As if all of that wasn’t weird enough.

Phil was now being dragged by three guards to the vehicle. He screamed and begged people for help, but no one moved an inch. Everyone just watched, all of them seeming to afraid to do anything, and some of them looked like they felt for him, but he knew, deep down, no one could save him now; the monarchy had control over the guards, and every single person on their country knew better than to against something the monarchy owned. And, still, the rebellion was a thing, even though they’d been quiet lately.

All of those people were making Phil more unstable, he could feel his whole body shaking and he just wanted to disappear, fade away, if possible. But he couldn’t find Dan anywhere, and that was his biggest worry at the moment. His eyes searched through the crowd, but Phil couldn’t locate the boy anywhere, and he should’ve found him already, Dan was way taller than most people, but that familiar face was nowhere to be found.

“Stop fighting, stop resisting, or we’ll make this way worse for you now and when we get there,” one of the guards whispered in Phil’s ear.

He had no choice but to obey, and so he did.

But they did still shove Phil into that “helicopter” thing.

Looking through the window, the last thing Phil saw was someone tall with a perfect figure he knew all too well being absorbed by the sea of people, and then he met Dan’s eyes, but they weren’t that warm shade of brown he could stare at all day, no, they were cold and Dan seemed so far away, out of reach. Phil watched his… What did Dan even mean to him? Probably too much to put into words and he really didn’t feel like labeling their relationship; so Phil watched his Dan blend in with all of the others and their little village.

There were two guards escorting him: the tallest one was a woman, she had light brown hair that matched her eyes, and looked like she could and would kill Phil at any given chance, and the other one, the shorter one, was a man, he was bald and looked like he could be in his late thirties already, but still looked very intimidating. Phil wanted to try anything to escape, go back to Dan; he actually wanted to crack the door so he could just fall out, he didn’t even care if they were flying or how high the chances of him ending up dead were, he had to go back. But Phil knew that, if he did manage to escape while still breathing, their punishment would be way worse than anything they’d done by that point. And he just couldn’t do it, both death and Dan would have to wait a little longer.

Therefore Phil just stared down at the land below him, maybe admiring, or just really trying to communicate with every living thing down there about how hopeless he felt. After what might’ve been an hour or so, everything was blurry and he couldn’t tell if it was because that thing was pretty fast or his eyes tearing up.

Suddenly the vehicle stopped and Phil found himself in the palace. Confusion drowned him, along with despair. His time came to an end, he’d done nothing wrong, right? He thought he made sure no one saw Dan and him. But maybe Phil was wrong and they were going to kill him. The guards sitting in front of him were completely quiet, they hadn’t said a word during the whole time.

“What are we doing here?” Phil asked. They didn’t answer, just got out of the “helicopter”.

The guards opened the door and gestured for Phil to get out. The man and the woman led him the way and he thought he was going to freak out right there, his mind was running with all sorts of thoughts, and they all involved Dan. And, even if that wasn’t the case, he couldn’t bring himself to calm down, everything kept adding up, but nothing made sense! Perhaps the weirdest thing about this was that the guardsmen didn’t ever bother bringing a royal vehicle for their prisoner, after all, Phil now felt like a prisoner, which was probably correct, because they’d often bring people to the castle as prisoners for plenty of reasons; but that kind of vehicle was only meant for the King.

If they didn’t kill Phil, he was sure his own body was going to do it anyway because he was out of control. And then he saw it: among the guards protecting the castle was Nathaniel, one of the guards that tormented Phil back in the village. The boy instantly froze as the curly-haired guard smirked when he caught Phil staring at him, he also nudged some other guards that used to pick on Phil, who just wanted to hide and cry somewhere else far away from there.

Maybe if someone did want to kill him it’d be better than having to go through whatever all of those guards would make him do.

“Keep moving,” the woman said, loud and clear, but she dragged Phil into the castle anyway.

The castle looked magnificent from the outside, so, as expected, it looked ever better from the inside. The massive walls were extremely decorated with paintings of former kings and queens and pretty places, a big red and black rug was extended until the staircase, lots of plants where placed everywhere and the enormous red curtains covered the windows and fell to the floor, just like the back of princesses’ dresses. Phil noticed that almost everything was golden or had some kind of golden detail, which made him sick; for some reason, that felt so wrong, he felt so wrong and intimidated just by being there. That woman kept dragging him, and her grip on his arm was really hurting, he’d have a bruise later. They went upstairs, where everything was equally golden, and she locked him in a room, leaving him all alone, and there was no way he could get out of there. That was probably the biggest room, the King’s room, and that Phil could tell. But the King was nowhere to be seen, which was really weird.

Something definitely was off and that was making him even more anxious. The King was, indeed, getting ready to kill him, that was it. They were going to take him to court and do it like they always did in the stories his mom once told him: they were going to hang him in front of bad people and then move on with their lives, while the person’s loved ones would go insane trying to find out about what had happened. Even though the room was huge, Phil felt like all the walls were closing in on him; everything felt wrong, he felt as if he would combust if he made contact with anything in that room and he couldn’t stop the tears. He kneeled down, shut his eyes and brought his hands to his ears, but there was no sound, it was completely silent. He was so weak, he’d let everyone down, and by everyone he meant his mother and Dan; also, speaking of Dan, what would happen to him? What if they caught him too? Phil wouldn’t be able to do anything and then—

And then someone opened the immense doors, making quite a noise that made Phil flinch. He opened his eyes just to see two people, an old asian couple, a man and a woman, looking down on him.

“Are you alright?” the man asked in a soft tone, revealing he had a french accent.

“Sorry?” Phil answered unsure, still shocked that the man bothered being nice to him.

“What happened, love? Did they treat you badly?” It was the woman speaking now. She kneeled down in front of him and took his hands in hers.

“Yeah.” Phil’s mouth was dry and he was so embarrassed, he must’ve looked like a child.

“I can assure you that they will be punished for that,” she informed him, then stood up. “We have to take you to court now; is that okay with you or do you want to be alone for a few minutes?”

Delaying his death in order to be alone for a few minutes, or ending it all quickly? Both options were terrible, but he couldn’t stand one of them, he wanted all the voices to stop for good. “I’d rather go right now, let’s get this over with.”

“Okay then. Follow us,” the man said and the three of them exited the room.

Going to the courtroom felt like an eternity, Phil just kept walking, following them and having in mind that that was it; there was no going back now, every step could be the last and he was a dead man walking. At least, he’d die a little better knowing that he’d saved Dan and made him happy, perhaps that was enough. And he was happy too, even though he was about to die, Phil knew he was happy. He could hear some voices and they were growing louder and he knew they were getting closer to it, a quick glance at the couple’s face confirmed that.

Now they were in front of another pair of immense doors. He just hoped Dan would continue to live his life and be happy.

Phil closed his eyes, held his breath and walked into the courtroom. When he opened his eyes, everything was exactly how he’d expect it: a room full of people, all of them whispering and looking down on him, and a spot in the middle where he was supposed to stand, right before the King’s throne; but, once again, the King wasn’t there. He couldn’t hide his curiosity and whispered to the woman next to him:

“Isn’t the King supposed to be the one to kill me?” Phil asked.

She didn’t say a word, just shook her head in a way that only him would’ve noticed. Phil just stood there, quiet and confused, after all, it didn’t make any sense. If he wasn’t going to die, what was he there for?

“Philip Michael Lester,” someone behind him started to talk. He turned around and the voice turned out to belong to a tall woman, who was just entering the courtroom. “Welcome back.” She smirked and he just expected her to pull a sword out of the nowhere and end his life.

“‘Welcome back’? I’ve never been here before,” Phil answered.

“You belong here, Philip.” She walked towards him, never dropping her gaze, and stood right in front of him. “You’re the King’s only child, and we’re all glad we finally found you. We’ve been looking for you for quite a while now, you know?”

Phil jumped at those news. He wasn’t the King’s son, he was just a poor Norhern boy, nothing more than that. What did they want him for anyway? Why were they looking for him? Were they ‘them’, the people his mother warned him about? It was too much to suddenly take in. Phil opened his mouth to ask a million questions, but the woman started to talk first:

“We’re aware that you may be confused, but we need you take what’s yours for right; you have to become a King, our King.”

“Wait, no. That can’t be right.” Phil turned around and just stared at the ground, startled. “And, even if I really am the King’s son, why should I become the King right now? Where is he?”

“The King is dead. Your Majesty was killed a few months ago by terrorists and since then we’ve been looking for you.” Phil was trying to speak again, but she shut him down before he could even start. “The only reason we’ve never looked for you before is because the King kept all of the records about his life hidden, so we never even knew about your existence.”

“What about my mom?” Phil was able to ask.

“What about your mom?”

“We were poor and she wasn’t a Princess or something like that, she’s never even set foot to this place! How am I suddenly the heir to throne?”

“Your mother dated the King, your father, when they were teenagers. You’re right, she was poor and she wasn’t a princess, but he brought her to the castle and gave her everything she needed. According to the information we have, she was pregnant and he used to hit her, so she ran away to protect you,” the woman explained.

Everything was adding up, it made sense, but he just couldn’t believe it, Phil didn’t want to believe any of that was really true. And his mom might’ve killed the King, who apparently was his own father, and that was the “revolutionary” thing she was talking about some months ago. She might as well have been already dead by then. She told him about all of this, how was that ever supposed to be good for him? A few hours ago he was with Dan and, even though they had to sort out all kinds of problems in their lives and their relationship, he had it all; for a brief period of time, Phil Lester had all he’d ever wanted.

Phil obviously wasn’t religious, but if any kind of god wanted to free him from that despair, he would take it. It all went back to that devotion concept he had, not only was it pointless, but it was also draining.

“Now, we’ve got work to do, Lester.” she broke the silence. “Sorry, Your Majesty .”

By the time they were finished checking all documents and making him sign all sorts of papers, Phil was exhausted, physically and emotionally. Maybe the worst part of it had to be him having to actually sit in the throne, it felt so inappropriate, he’d never asked for all of that, that “royal” life. It was over the top, a completely golden throne, decorated with more golden adornments. And all of that gold was making him sick, it looked twisted, but the worst part was that everything was golden, it didn’t matter where he looked at, it was golden.

Phil was led back to the King’s room, now his room. He couldn’t even believe that belonged to him now, he didn’t need a giant room, servants, a big castle, a throne, or a crown, he didn’t want it, but he had no choice. The room had a balcony that had a beautiful view, nothing but a pretty landscape, but Phil didn’t bother going over there, he feared he’d jump from the balcony and hit the ground, making that landscape his deathbed, throwing his body from up there as if it was as light as a feather, but, deep down, he knew his heart was so heavy it’d pull him to ground in a second.

Loads of footsteps flooded the hall where his room was located, Phil supposed it was the guards, doing their now designed work to “protect” the King from anything that could be considered a threat to the monarchy, which consisted of Phil. He wasn’t worried about having people guarding his door while he slept, it did sound a bit creepy, but he could deal with that, but, then, when someone unlocked his door and came in the room, Phil was indeed worried.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to be here,” Phil said, trying his best to sound tough and make the person go away.

“Well, I don’t think you’re supposed to be here, Lester.” Phil quickly recognized the voice, the one he’d never forget; it was Nathaniel. “Mind if I stay the night? I’m sure you don’t.”

“I actually do, Nathaniel. I’m gonna tell them you’re here and—” Phil stopped mid-sentence when Nathaniel grabbed his waist and, using his other hand, shut Phil up.

“You won’t call them over unless you want three guys inside you, instead of only me; it’s up to you.” Nathaniel’s lips brushed Phil’s ear and it felt like someone had set fire to it, it was dirty. “And you’re not gonna tell anyone about this, it’d make no difference, and they’d accuse you of lying, being paranoid, or something like that. Yes, you are the King, but down there there’s a room full of people that don’t want you on that golden throne and would use anything against you to kick you out of here.”

As if this day couldn’t get worse, now he knew he was completely alone in the castle, no one would defend or save Phil. They didn’t even want him as a King, so there was no point in fighting for anything. Even if he did manage to escape from that place or that moment, they’d kill him.

Nathaniel pushed Phil into the bed and trapped the King using his whole body. Phil remained still under his grip, sudden numbness washing over him for a split second, before everything felt like it was so much and he couldn’t bear, couldn’t push through it.

Death seemed so much better than anything Nathaniel was going to do to him.

“Now, why don’t you turn around and swing those hips for me?” Nathaniel whispered in Phil’s ear.

But the now King stood still, he didn’t even breath; he was afraid, not brave. Phil felt the tears pricking his eyes and Nathaniel smiled creepily. And, even though he was paralyzed, the guard held his arm tightly.

“Are you ever going to turn around or do I have to do that myself, huh, rat?”

Phil opened his mouth to answer, but then he heard the nickname and was immediately reminded of Dan, and that was his breaking point. Although Dan usually called Phil “rat” as a term of endearment, that nickname had just been said with so much disgust, making it all even worse. But where was Dan? Would he come for Phil? Was Dan thinking of him? And, above all of that, was Dan okay? He feared for Dan because he knew what the boy was capable of. Phil was so caught up in his own thoughts that merely felt Nathaniel violently turning him around so that he faced the mattress. Phil’s body might’ve been there, but his mind surely wasn’t.

The King was furiously woken up by six or seven guys, including Nathaniel. He hadn’t even opened his eyes and they were already all over him, beating him, hurting him. Phil didn’t bother opening his eyes anyways, seeing their faces always made the whole experience worse, so he just tried to focus on something else, and all the memories from last night came back.

Someone hit his stomach, leaving him out of breath for a second. Last night, Nathaniel choked him until he almost fainted.

Another person slapped him twice, or maybe that was caused by two people. Last night, Nathaniel had already left marks of his hand all over Phil’s body.

They banged his head against the wooden headboard, which damaged his jaw the most, making Phil spit blood and a teeth. Last night, Nathaniel banged him against the wall, pressing Phil’s body so hard against it that he was almost sure he’d be able to walk through the wall after some time.

Last night, Nathaniel hit him with his belt until he was bleeding. Phil now opened his eyes for the first time this morning and met Nathaniel’s face, seconds before he hit Phil in the back of the head with his gun, knocking him out.

For once, darkness felt like bliss.

Phil woke up for the second time that day, but this time he was greeted by more familiar and friendly faces: the couple that took him to court yesterday. They looked surprised and intrigued, but Phil could tell they felt for him. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how bad he must’ve looked, the whole experience alone felt like hell, something sempiternal, as if it’d never end, he’d just have to keep suffering eternally. The King tried to sit, but his whole body was hurting, every inch, from top to bottom, and he realized he was going to be less functioning than usually.

“Don’t even move, just sit still, Your Majesty, we’ll get some help,” the man said and exited the room.

The woman sat beside him and ran her fingers through his hair, carefully, as if even his hair would break at the touch. The King realized he didn’t even know their names, but he was already fond of them; they were one of the very few people that had ever taken care of Phil, and that mattered more than anything.

He felt like screaming, trashing his room, thrashing every one of them, hitting his head so hard against the wall so maybe he’d learn something, and crying because it all felt like it was his fault. But Phil didn’t do any of those things. He could barely talk, he’d screamed a lot in the past twelve hours or so; he couldn’t get up, and his arms would hurt so much it wouldn’t be worth it, maybe he couldn’t even throw a cup so that it’d mess up the room, let alone beat up some people; his head already hurt like hell and all those voices in his head were torturing him; and the tears just wouldn’t come, no matter how hard he tried to cry.

“Is there anything that would make you feel better?” the woman asked. He could sense the worry in her voice, but she spoke so slowly, the words melting as she talked.

“Yes.” He could barely speak, but managed to say a word, just to regret doing so; firstly because of how it hurt and what it took him to say such a little word, and also because of the danger, oh, yes, the danger.

Phil couldn’t tell them to find Dan and bring him to Phil, no matter how much he wanted and needed Dan. They could do things to him too, maybe even worse, if those guards found out what he meant to Phil. He wanted to complicate Dan, but his priority was to keep the boy safe. So he shook his head in denial, hoping the woman wouldn’t ask any questions, but then he suddenly had an idea: Phil could send Dan a letter; it was an easy, harmless, and fast, way of letting Dan know he was okay and everything that was going on.

“Do you think I could send someone a letter?” Phil asked, almost sure he that she wouldn’t have heard or understood him if she wasn’t so close.

“Yes, we can provide you everything you need, but do you think you can write with that arm?” she asked.

“Probably not,” Phil answered.

“Well, unless you wanna send a handwritten letter, there’s another way to write a letter, and you won’t even have to move your arm,” she said.

“I can’t thank you enough,” Phil whispered unintentionally.

“You don’t have to, Your Majesty.” She stopped for a second. “You don’t deser—”

“Please, call me Phil.”

“You don’t deserve any of this, Phil, and this place is horrible. I can’t imagine how all of this, all at once, must be for you. I’m so sorry.” She stood up and walked to the door, but stopped before leaving the room. “But, tell you what, I believe there’s a place waiting for us after this, where everything’s golden and you’ll be happy, we’ll all be happy.” The woman went out, leaving Phil broken and all alone in that massive room.

She better be wrong, Phil thought. He couldn’t do this twice, going through all the suffering again, and living without Dan once again. Phil also couldn’t stand all the gold anymore, now he hated that color with a burning passion, the King blamed everything that had gone wrong in his life on it. Give me happiness; what I’ve always longed for, give me Dan back, Phil thought once again, hoping anyone besides him would somehow listen,or give me death, there’s nothing else left for me anyway.

By the night, the King had written the letter, using some sort of technology he didn’t know, but that was very useful considering his situation. He didn’t have to do anything but pressing some buttons on a bright screen, then one servant printed it and gave it to some guard, one Phil had never seen before, which was a relief, and she went out to find Dan and give him the letter, following the address Phil provided her.

While the guard was gone, the couple sent some people to take care of Phil, and, somehow, they did manage to make him a little better. His voice was better, he wasn’t as sore as he was in the morning, his wounds were clean and covered with bandages, which made him look like a mummy, and he could move around, kind of. They also dressed him nicely, gave him a white floral suit, with pink and golden details, and a long golden cape. He also had a crown now; but, seeing as they hadn’t had the time to make him his own crown, this was his father’s one, so it was too big and too heavy for him. Phil felt so wrong once again, but he couldn’t do anything to change that, he’d have to accept it.

Phil was looking in the mirror, trying to grow used to seeing him all dressed up like that, when the guard returned. She told him she delivered the letter, but she didn’t found Dan at the provided address, he was actually very far from the village they used to live, joined by a bunch of people, some of them with their faces covered. He asked her if he seemed okay and if she’d done anything to the other or him, she said Dan seemed almost numb, and completely changed when she mentioned, only to him, that it was letter from Phil, and that she’d just given him the letter and came back.

Now, watching the sky, and sat on his golden throne, Phil hoped Dan was okay and that he would find a way to send a letter as well, following the instructions Phil gave him. He tried getting lost in the stars, counting them over and over, but he could only picture Dan’s face in them, he couldn’t stop thinking about him. Was that fixation? Or maybe neurosis? He knew it wasn’t neither of those, but Phil didn’t want to admit what he felt for Dan when they weren’t going to be able to see each other in a long time, perhaps never again.

All of his thoughts were interrupted when someone suddenly started shouting and he heard rushed footsteps coming from upstairs. Phil was immediately startled, it could be one of the guards looking for him, and there was no one nearby, another prove that no one wanted to keep him safe, so he wouldn’t be the King, but he’d be useless and defenseless again. He dug his fingernails deep into the throne, hoping it’d serve as shield against anyone or anything that tried to get close to him. Then a familiar silhouette came running down the hall, towards him. The King would recognize him anywhere, at any time, and probably in another life, so he got up and started running to Dan.

They met right in the middle of the ballroom, where the throne, paintings, and all the golden futile expensive furniture were located, and just hug each other, it felt like time had stopped and nothing mattered anymore. Phil couldn’t and didn’t want to feel nothing but Dan, he wanted, and, somehow, he had to have him closer, as if that hug just wasn’t enough. Therefore, Phil kissed Dan, feeling like he’d just gotten back all the happiness he thought he’d lost.

“I never really thought that you’d come tonight; actually, I told you not to come, Dan!” Phil said. “But are you okay? How are you? You have to—”

“We’ve got to go, Phil, now!” Dan said in a rush. He was still his energetic self, but this was different, and scared Phil in every way possible. “I had no idea, I had no idea, I’m so sorry.” Dan was now shaking and looked like he was in the verge of bursting into tears. He hid his face in his hands.

“What are you talking about? Dan, please, calm down!”

“I didn’t know you were the King, so I joined the rebellion, and turns out they killed the King, the other one, and are coming to overthrow the monarchy,” Dan paused for a split second and looked right into Phil’s eyes. “They’re gonna kill you, Phil, we have to go right now, please, c’mon!”

Dan pulled Phil by the hand, but the King stopped. He couldn’t wait any longer, Phil had to say it out loud, this was his chance, and they’d enter a new chapter in their life, now that they were running away from all of this forever. He pulled Dan closer and started to say, very carefully, making each word sound how much he meant it, but that probably couldn’t happen when there were so many irrational and unexplainable feelings:

“Dan, I lo—” But Phil stopped mid-sentence when something hit him from behind.

It hurt so much, the King had never felt so much physical pain in his life before; even when he’d overworked himself, it never hurt like this. Time and space seemed to stop together and maybe he was falling, but he couldn’t tell, and, luckily, someone grabbed him. Phil stared into the warm shade of brown of Dan’s eyes, and he knew Dan was screaming something, but he couldn’t hear it. He was hit with an overwhelming feeling of tiredness and just wanted to close his eyes, rest a bit, but Dan’s grip on his body and on his face kept him awake, but not for long.

Phil rolled his eyes and looked at his surroundings.

Everything was golden and it all seemed so perfectly real; how could such a beautiful life be possible? Well, at least, not for Dan and Phil.

[yeonjungs-red-blazer]

A Streak of Red (Wonho Fanfiction)

Genre: Dystopian AU, romance, action, adventure.

Summary: Wonho was the most sought out criminal in the Sector. Nobody knew who he really was or what he actually looked like, but he was the hero of the oppressed and impoverished. You were the general of the Sector’s Army with an extraordinary brain and years of training and your one goal in life was to take his life.

Ch.1/Ch.2

Chapter One

    Only months ago you were walking down these hallways with him. He would march in the middle of the corridor, a crowd of soldiers following behind him waiting for his orders while you stood by his side, nodding along to the plans he went over with you. Your big brother, Shownu, was both the general of the Sector’s army and the President’s most trusted advisor; he was highly respected within the Sector for his prestigious position in the government. With your remarkably sharp mental capabilities and swift calculative mind, you were able to prove yourself to both Shownu and the President, resulting in your brother always running his decisions through you first and the President regarding you highly.

    ‘We had just gotten off the plane and were at the Supply Edifice checking on recent progress. General Shownu was speaking to the head scientist, Dr. Han, there and he had sent of the guards so he could discuss certain matters in private. One of the guards from the eighth floor said that she’d gotten a glimpse of something passing one of the windows but brushed it off since it moved so quickly and she assumed it was merely a bird. She said about fifteen minutes after this occurrence, all electricity was shut down in the building and the place was pitch black.

    General Shownu was quick to act, though. His first impulse was to protect the source. He locked the door, not allowing any of the guards in, and helped Dr. Han into a hiding spot behind a cabinet in the lab. According to Dr. Han, a dagger smashed through the glass window  out of thin air and stabbed the general’s legs, impairing his movement. He had fallen to the ground and was not able to unlock the door to let us in.

    As we tried to knock the door down, a blonde haired man with a lean body and a black mask covering his nose and mouth hopped in through the window and made his way towards General Shownu. The scientist reported that he said the words, “We finally meet, General, unfortunately on bad terms.” in a low, mocking whisper before pulling his bloodied dagger out of General Shownu’s leg and puncturing it through his heart, killing him off completely. The general’s final words were, “It’s you!”. We assume the killer is Wonho from the general’s last reaction. Dr. Han also delineates that he remained silent throughout the whole situation. Before Wonho escaped, he stole two vials of the substance. After counting inventory, this statements stands true.We will progress with investigations, but these are the general details I can disclose.’

    Just a week ago, this was the news you’d received from Shownu’s assistant and best friend, Kihyun, after he had returned from the trip. Wonho, the Sector’s most sought after criminal was the main suspect. Although no one was sure of what his appearance was, there were rumours of his main features. He fought for the poor and the weak, those who claimed to be harmed by the Sector Government and the President. He was their hero and the President’s biggest threat. He would knock out the soldiers that would roam the streets and tyrannise the poor, steal food from the Sector bases to feed the starved, and rebel against government policies to aid the impoverished in regaining their rights. His identity, however, was a secret. He remained unknown, even to those who considered him their saviour. He solely took the name Wonho and would rarely show his face by constantly covering his eyes with his bright blonde hair and his mouth with a black mask reigning him unidentifiable.

    One would assume that you would fall into grief, however, you had been raised within the very core of the Sector Government where feelings were crushed and hearts were turned to stone. Nothing could tap into your emotions publicly or privately. Although you had shed your tears in private and allowed your overflowing misery to explode, you allowed it the emotion pass as quickly as possible. And to do so, you replaced it with a different feeling; vengefulness. The need to get revenge bubbled within the pit of your stomach; you hated Wonho more than ever now. You wanted him dead, and you wanted to kill him with your very own hands. Your brother was the only family you had left, and now you were all on your own. Wonho was your biggest enemy and he would soon face your wrath.

    After much negotiation between the ministers of the Sector, who took part in finalising the grand settlements of the country, you were appointed as the new General. You were highly praised by everyone for your extraordinary abilities and talent at a young age, and you were obviously well trained by your brother. No one knew the in’s and out’s of the Sector and army like him as well as you did. Kihyun remained your assistant and for that you were relieved. Although you were honoured, the position was overwhelming in your internally emotional state, and familiarity would be very helpful at this time. You needed all the guidance you could get if you were to succeed in your current goals.

    For now, you were planning to use your position to your benefit. Improvement would come with time, and with all your might, you’d even try to surpass Shownu. You were going to work your hardest to become unbeatable by gaining intelligence that transcends that of an average person and developing battling skills that would make your opponent drop in the shortest time span possible. You had to do all this for your brother, so you could face Wonho and terminate him once and for all. The loathing you possessed for him had levelled up after recent events. Now, it was personal.

    One Month Ago…

    The dark sky hung like a blanket overhead, carrying dark grey clouds that covered the stars in the sky. The only sources of light were the full moon above and the low hanging streetlights. Two men were crouching at the top of a roof of a house, munching on scraps of bread and chugging down water to keep hydrated. At least one of them was.

    “Are you not going to eat that bread?” A deep voice whispered, eyeing the pastry in the blonde’s hand, mouth watering. His friend absentmindedly shook his head and passed it over, eyes peering out into the poverty-stricken neighbourhood.

    “Wonho we need to leave, this is too risky.” The brunette murmured after he had scarfed all the food for the night.

    “We’ll go soon, Changkyun, shut up!” Wonho whisper shouted to his faithful but impatient companion. Changkyun rolled his eyes and rolled down onto his back, staring up at the sky before allowing his eyes to close for a nap.

    In the everlasting silence of the dead-looking neighbourhood, a group of five men dressed in protective white suits and industrial masks marched out of one of the houses and towards the next. The Sector Disease Inspectors. The one at the front with the clipboard knocked roughly on the door and Wonho’s back straightened immediately when a middle aged woman with dark, straight hair opened the door, letting them in with her head hanging low. It was his mother.

    A plague had disseminated in the past month around the Sector. Every week the Sector Disease Inspectors would visit every single neighbourhood and run tests on the residents. If they found any citizens that was struck with this plague, one of two things could happen to them. One: they would be taken to the Sector’s laboratories where they would be locked up for research purposes. Two: they would be left to die with no solution.

    Some say that the plague was a disease created by the Sector Government to decrease the population and kill off those who they thought were meaningless, useless souls. Others say that because of recent rebellion, the Sector Government strewed the plague to dial the situation down and bring the revolting citizens’ attention elsewhere. Word had also gone around that a cure had been created for members of the government, army, or inspectors that had picked it up accidentally and that the medicine was fully functional and effective. Wonho’s most recent schemes were revolving around plotting a way to steal the medicine for the sick. However, it was still a work in progress that needed refining.

    His stomach churned and his palms became clammy with every passing second. The minutes seemed to be dragging on like hours and all he wanted was to slam the door of his childhood house open and reassure his mother that he would protect her. Wonho had taken the decision five years ago to fake his death to his mother in order to protect her from the backlash of his dangerous actions against the President. He wouldn’t let her suffer in any way so he ran away from home, threw away his real name and past life, and started a new one as Wonho. No one knew any of the details regarding Wonho’s story.

    Not even Changkyun, whom Wonho had met at a bar when he had just left home. He had gone into the the sketchy place at the end of an alley searching for information about entrances into the government from an ex-soldier who he had been told to meet there. Instead, he met a boy his age who had followed him out after he had surveyed him fail at acquiring information and ever since, they were a team. They never touched on the topic of their pasts, for their both knew it was a touchy subject that was best left alone in the deepest crevices of one’s brain. Changkyun never inquired as to why they watched this specific house every week, he simply trusted his friend and followed along.

    After what seemed like an eternity of impatiently waiting, the men in white suits and unrecognisable faces behind the industrial masks emerged from the door. Wonho’s mother, with tears rolling down her cheeks, nodding silently and shut the door. The last man at the back stepped forward and shook a can of spray paint. Wonho’s heart hammered against his ribcage, threatening to burst out, as he muttered a “no” under his breath in denial. The inspector painted a large red ‘X’ on the battered and beaten front door that was similar to multiple houses in the area and moved on to the next person on their list.

    “No...not mom.”