#the reason I draw them sm is because they are my test subject

[hiccuppop]

Eggy Art I done recently :)

[jessamine-rose]

༻ The Golden Ratio ༺

Another deleted scene from Chemistry which I just had to recycle. May you all enjoy this fluffy, non-yandere take on Dottore and the science of love (≡^∇^≡)

♡ 0.9k words under the cut ♡

“Zandik, look over here! Aren’t these specimens remarkable?”

“Yes, they are,” he replies dismissively.

You frown, turning away the patch of Rukkhashava Mushrooms. Your classmate is still tinkering with the Ruin Guard, completely absorbed in his research.

“Liar. You didn’t even look at it.”

He doesn’t even try to deny it. “Can’t you see that I’m busy? If you allow me to finish my research, I can promise my full attention later.”

“But that’s what you said with the last sample,” you point out. “Is it too much to stop and admire the scenery for a few minutes? You are utterly rigid.”

Though you wouldn’t have fallen for him otherwise.

Zandik gives you an unamused look. “And you are too carefree, though I may recognize such childlike curiosity as befitting of your Darshan.”

You give him a bright smile. “Thank you for the acknowledgement!”

Was that a compliment or an insult? Either way, Zandik has been observing you!

As of now, your research expeditions have yielded little progress in your relationship. Your crush remains distant, focused on his work, at odds with your research approach. Still, you are thankful for the opportunity to witness him in action. To spend time with him.

Your own research is sufficient. You sit on the grass and watch Zandik, committing his visage to memory. After a few minutes, he breaks the silence.

“I am intrigued,” he says, “by your attitude to my research. The Sages always scold me whenever I express my fascination in these ancient machines.”

His research notes are neatly arranged beside his tools. The pages are marked with meticulous reports and detailed drawings. His enthusiasm practically bleeds into the paper.

You approach him, uncaring of your close proximity to the Ruin Guard.

“Well, I must disagree with them. No matter how dangerous those machines can be, they are still something to study. One might claim they are no different from my research specimens.”

“Ah, yes. Your little plants and animals,” he replies, glancing at your research notes. “And why do you research those subjects, may I ask?”

“Should there be an important reason?” you ask, adjusting your Amurta scarf. “It’s because they’re beautiful. Simple as that.”

Beautiful, mysterious, vital to this world.

“I did not take you for the poetic type,” he muses. “Anything can be deemed beautiful from one’s subjective perspective.”

“That is true,” you agree, “like your interest in the Ruin Machines. But objectively speaking, there are mathematical theories which can explain our prevalent standards of beauty. The golden ratio, for instance.”

“Ah, yes. That old thing.” A confident smile appears on his face. “I’ve read a thesis about the golden ratio in relation to facial aesthetics. Apparently, I am a good example.”

“Not a surprise. Many people find you handsome.”

“And what about you?” Zandik resumes eye contact, scarlet eyes tinged with amusement. “Do you agree with that conclusion?”

Your cheeks flush. “W-Well…yes, since you claim that your face fits the golden ratio.”

“That is an inadequate basis for your answer.” He stands in front of you and caresses your cheek, preventing you from looking away. “Why don’t you personally test that hypothesis? I will do the same with your face.”

He’s so close.

“All…all right.” You stay still and focus on his face, making the mental measurements.

His facial proportions are more or less congruent with the golden ratio. There are some details which may serve as basis for a counterargument, however.

His bangs obstruct your complete analysis. You’ve always adored his messy hairstyle, those stray curls which complement his character. You know from previous interactions that his hair is soft to the touch.

There is also his boyish, sharp-toothed grin which is equal parts manic and mischievous. His calm, close-mouthed smile is more aesthetically pleasing, but it lacks his unabashed ardor. Nevertheless, you are captivated with both versions, especially when those smiles are directed at you.

His eyes. They are like red suns, always bright and intense. There is a fascinated gleam in his gaze whenever he comes across something new.

It is beautiful. All of him.

His voice is what brings you back to reality.

“I am done with my measurements,” he announces.

“I…I see.” You give him a nervous smile, acutely aware that he is still touching your face. You’re blushing; can he tell? “So am I. Why don’t you go first?”

“You are beautiful.”

What?

Zandik taps his fingers on your cheek, tracing lines on your face. He’s close—too close, your flustered expression trapped in his ruby eyes. His expression is serious yet neutral, as though he is merely studying a specimen.

“A…according to which theory?” you stutter. “The golden ratio?”

He smiles at you. “I am speaking from my own personal opinion. If the laws of nature say otherwise, I must disagree and prove them wrong.”

A specimen worthy of his full attention.

Words fail you. What can you possibly say after receiving such a compliment?

Ever the diligent scholar, Zandik lets go of you and returns to the Ruin Guard.

“That is all I have to say,” he says. He picks up a rusty cog and takes notes. “And what of your observation? Do you find me beautiful, ______?”

You remain in your spot. “...Yes, I do.”

His tone is smug. “Objectively or subjectively?”

Honestly, why did you fall for someone like him?

“I’m not sure,” you admit.

“I see.” Zandik gives you one last smile, a knowing twinkle in his eyes. “Let us continue this experiment later. I am not one to be satisfied with ambiguous results.”

♡

This was originally written for the second chapter of Chemistry, but it felt too “close” for Dottore and Assistant! Darling’s early relationship. So I just edited and moved it to the last few chapters. But I couldn’t waste the lovely thought of Dottore’s s/o falling for the parts of him which aren’t considered beautiful by the golden ratio, so here we are~

Anyway, I hope y’all enjoyed this deleted scene ft. college crush Dottore ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶ა

Tag a Dottore enjoyer!! @gum-iie @sirbotik @surveyycorps @boundinparchment @ruayiri @darherwings @oofasleep @oh-no-i-am-here @nicebonescomrades @diaboliravioli @ryo-ri @unloadingdata @sodomewithlifern @maaarshieee @dottoreslittlelabrat @poweredbyghostadventures

[chibimyumi]

Hi Chibi! I’m kind of obsessed with your blog. I’ve loved Kuro for a long time so it’s nice to see someone make very thoughtful posts about it. I was reading some of your posts about the kuro anime and was wondering. What is your opinion of the season 2 OVA The story of Will the reaper? I love the reapers so getting to know about their world is great, but will kicking grell’s ass was not great 😖.

【Response to: “are there any S1 or S2 OVAs you enjoyed?”】

Dear Dagonl,

Thank you very much for your interest! I’m happy you like my content, and it’s always nice to hear that somebody is interested in long-winded posts deep-analyses! ^^

Short answer:

As for my opinion on ‘The story of Will the Reaper’: as I said in the original post, in my opinion “[a]ll OVAs for the second season were (almost) as awful as the season itself, save for ‘The Making of [Kuroshitsuji]’.” Though, ‘the story of Will the reaper’ is actually the one that made me add the ‘almost’ in the previous sentence, meaning that it’s marginally better than the rest.

Click for Full Answer: The good things and the... awful things.

1. The good things

The reason I found this OVA marginally better is because I do respect the ambition and (attempt at) creativity the makers have shown. At the time of release the manga had not revealed anything yet about reaper origins. So I guess they could be forgiven for their artistic liberties (unlike the spoiler-revelation of Undertaker’s nature that ruined his big revelation in the manga.)

1.1. Fair world-building

The world-building works well with the idea of Yana’s satire on the Japanese Salaryman through William. As William is something of a self-proclaimed ‘model’ and so unforgivingly rigid, it gives us reason to believe the Reaper Dispatch Society is built on this type of ideal; aka the Japanese office environment. We have also seen that the technology of the Death Scythes is a century more advanced than Kuroshitsuji’s contemporaries, so the 1980s setting was well done in my opinion.

1.2. Fair reflection on reaper/Salaryman doctrine

The biggest critique on Salaryman culture is the robotic attitude employers demand. The Japanese Salaryman™ is expected to be no more than silent executors of the will from above. As explained by William, reapers don’t actually do all that much; all they do is meaningless double-checking JUST IN CASE something might be off.

As a satire this OVA is not ‘complete’ because you do need the information from the manga that came out many years later to understand why the reaper world is a satire in the first place for the actual punch. But in the very least the OVA pays adequate lip-service and does not disrespect the satirical origins of Yana’s design.

One thing this OVA does arguably better than even Yana is showing that most reapers are robotic work zombies like Will, rather than that the Dispatch Office is filled with eccentric youngsters as the named reapers of the series might suggest. (Though there is a downside that I will discuss in section 2.2.)

2. The awful things

So, to me this OVA has two good things, but they are insignificant in the face of the awful things that’s the rest of this OVA.

2.1. Raging homo and transphobia, etc.

This OVA handles Grell extremely poorly. First of all, this OVA makes it explicit that Grell is a homosexual man, blatantly defying both canon and Yana’s explicit statement of her female gender. Why? Because the most obnoxious shippers want their Yaoi, and this sells. This one literally needed to sell because it’s an OVA.

As explained in more detail in this post, Grell was called a man and she eagerly responded “oh, yes”, and later she herself confirms this statement by making it explicit that she dreams of herself in a m/m relationship. (Yes, these subs are accurately translated. Click the link for a Japanese to English breakdown).

Some fans have explained this as Grell’s words before she realised her own identity, and I understand why. We all want something to not be this gross and try to make sense of the nonsensical, and some actual identity discovering journey would have been nice. For Grell as a character however, it only serves to give Man!Grellers more ammo (even though they have the destructive power of cotton wads).

As I said in the post linked above, “[if this statement] used to be [Grell’s] thoughts that are no longer relevant in present time, the script should have addressed that in present-timeline of the story. As it is now, it is clear as day that the writer Nemoto Toshizou did not take that into inconsideration.”

Secondly, this OVA is desperately trying to cater to Grelliam shippers. Fans have always come up with different reasons to ship this, but this OVA had to choose the most toxic one to capitalise on. Why make Grell so shitty to Will for no reason? Being degrading to him is one thing, but Grell was outright deadly violent to William for trying to do his job. And then Grell only stopped being so hostile because she got beaten back and therefore fell in love?

Yes, people justify this by saying that it’s charming to Grell because she’s a masochist, “whatever”. This however, paints a very askew image of real people who enjoy masochism as a kink. Any responsible adult in the SM community would tell you how painfully shallow Grell’s masochism is portrayed as, and how this portrayal takes away all accountability from someone who harms a kink-masochist if something went wrong.

This OVA would ironically have been more effective as an anti-Grelliam story, except that it sells itself as the opposite. With just the manga, people could just say: “oh, Grell doesn’t respect William’s personal boundaries, and William is very aggressive to Grell, but they can sort that out...eventually.” Add this OVA however, suddenly William is an indisputable abuse victim, and Grell is just an “in your face gay” (as the gay stereotype dictates...)

2.2. Contradicting Canon

I am actually not all that harsh about this OVA contradicting canon history because at the time of release nothing about the reapers had been revealed yet. Like I said above, I even respect the creativity to some extent. The only real problem is because this fandom tends to conflate canon with anime information by using cross-media information to understand Kuroshitsuji.

As discussed in section 1.2., the glimpses of the Reaper office are interesting, but the downside to this is that it suggests reapers are a race one is born into because all newbies are approximately the same age. Without the manga, this information in a vacuum is fine. Later however, Yana reveals that all reapers are suicides and are being punished for this sin. If a fan accepts both pieces of information and tries to piece them together, then suddenly this bit of creativity becomes a totalitarian nightmare.

People of all ages commit suicide. If a fan were to try shoehorn the OVA info into canon material (for lack of more stories), then we get: 1. reapers are suicides who get punished, and 2. all reaper newbies are approximately the same age and able bodied. The only conclusion we can draw then is that only able-bodied suicides who fit the ‘newbie age’ are punished. What happens to people who fall outside this norm? Is becoming a reaper and ‘paying off’ your sin the only way to “serve your term”? If so, then do suicides who fall outside this norm never get a chance to redeem themselves?😱 Or...... do only able-bodied youngsters get punished for committing suicide because they still had “societal value” but wasted it? Either way would be f*cked up!

But again, none of this is a real problem as long as a fan can distinguish canon from non-canon information ^^ So, moving on

2.3. Are reapers God Almighty?

Unlike the second, the third issue I have with the OVA is actually something I am quite harsh on. In this OVA we see that even trainees like William and Grell have apparent power to judge over somebody’s life and death based on their intellectual value. However, this begs for an urgent question!

Under section 3 of this post I discussed whether the law of “a human dies because a reaper says so” according to Grell would be feasible. It’s a relatively long discussion, so please click the link if you’re interested in the details. If you just want it to be quick then just ask the following question: “why give trainees/reapers with human subjectivity an almighty God’s** power to decide over life and death of others?” If we then add the manga’s canon information that reapers are being punished for having committed suicide, then why give people whose sin was ‘deciding over life and death wrongly FOR THEMSELVES’ the power to do so for OTHERS????

Still, even if we disregard the manga and view this OVA in a vacuum, it is still VERY alarming that trainees are given this power. Perhaps if a trainee misjudges there will be due consequences from above, but why give a trainee this power in the first place? Are human lives just test objects to this “reaper race”?

This third issue is so awful to me because it shows how little the OVA creators thought through matters and just wanted a quick money grab by selling the most toxic version of the Grelliam ship.

**TLN: A ‘shinigami’ is Japanese for ‘Death (shini) God (gami/kami)’, but please note that in Japanese definitions, a ‘kami’ is not ‘god’ in the same way it is in the Abrahamic sense. A ‘kami’ is more similar to a ‘spirit’, and is therefore not a supreme being. Entirely accurately, a ‘shinigami’ would be more similar to ‘death angel’ or ‘death spirit’.

Related posts:

Why would Sascha have committed suicide? Rutger, Will and the JP Salaryman

How does a scythe kill a reaper? A discussion of MBD musical’s horrible writing of universe laws, and canon reaper laws

Can reapers teleport?

A reaper’s dormitory

[hartofbalamb]

@princenza​

[sms: Squall L.] Would you like me to go with you? 

  Even though he’d known in the back of his mind that this day would come, he hadn’t expected it quite like this, in the midst of everything else that had come to light along with it. He was doing the best he could to keep this casual for both their sake, despite the turbulent storm that roiled in the back of his mind, demanding to be addressed.

  They would go to Esthar together, she agreed it would help in her plea toward her own case. He reassured her Laguna would be happy to see her, parroting the sentiments the man who had not, and probably would not ever truly be his father, expressed to him among the slow-cultivated civility of their connection. 

[sms: Rinoa H.] We'll see. That might change once I start asking hard questions.. 

  This response was not one he had expected from the woman he’d shared his life with for the better part of his adult life. She’d seemed to like Laguna enough, despite his rather non-committal stance in regards to the feelings of his city toward her, and through Squall Balamb had made large strides in securing the advanced nation as an ally in the tumultuous political climate.

  So to hear her say she might put those carefully cultivated connections to the test with hard questions set him immediately on edge. 

[sms: Squall L.] We may be technically related, but he’s still the president of Esthar. Try to keep it civil — I know it doesn’t feel as though they deserve it, but being needlessly combative isn’t going to help your case [sms: Rinoa H.] There is no way to have this conversation without things getting uncomfortable. I've been behaved for years, as far as they know. That didn't help my case either.

  Laguna was a patient man — a bit odd, perhaps, but patient. Squall was thankful to find his more colorful personality traits had toned down a bit in his old age, despite his propensity toward cringe-worthy dad-jokes (he had an excuse now, he was using it to his full extent, Kiros had informed him.) But even still, private meetings with the sorceress would no doubt be subjected to criticism by other members of Estharian government, and could potentially put the president in an uncomfortable situation, depending on her demands.

  This was a delicate situation at best — one that would not benefit from lack of several years worth of improved facial expressions and calm rationality that often turned cold via text.

[sms: Squall L.] we’ll talk about it later, this isn’t a conversation to have over text [sms: Rinoa H.] Fine. 

[sms: Rinoa H.] But it isn't my fault never seems to be a good time. You better mean it that this will get picked up or I'm going to start right back up again. You know where I'll be. 

  He felt the hairs on the back of his neck bristle, lips tugging into a frown as he eyed her threat. Had he ever given her reason to think he would not uphold his word? He’d been earnest with her as best he could, listening to her troubles when she expressed them, doing what he could to rectify them, but they’d both understood — or so he thought until now — that his hands were mostly tied in this regard, especially if he wanted to have any say at all. 

[sms: Squall L.] We will pick it back up, you don’t have to snap at me. 

[sms: Rinoa H.] I say that I'm going to ask hard questions and you first reaction is to tell me to be civil like I'm the problem. Do you have any idea what that feels like? 

  There was something dark and familiar that rose in him with her tone — echoed sentiments of another from some time ago. The realization dawned on him like a dark, cold morning, beryl eyes peering down at him as that strong voice of conviction absolved itself of responsibility. She was starting to sound like him...

[sms: Squall L.] I imagine it feels something like struggling to stave off countless nations from threatening to seal you up in a beacon and launching you into space, then to hear you say you’re going to, on a whim, without talking to me about it, go take everything I’ve worked hard to accomplish and throw it out the window because you’ve had enough.

[sms: Squall L.] And for the record I didn’t even tell you no, even though every bit of me is telling me this is a terrible idea and that I’m going to lose you 

[sms: Squall L.] I’m standing with you, and asking you to be smart about how you do this. If this goes south nothing I can do will be enough

[sms: Squall L.] And frankly that terrifies me 

  He was losing his cool, driven by impulse — a feeling he hated. His inner narrative found its way to his fingertips, rueful of the fact that the more he let those thoughts slip through the vice of his lips the harder they were to keep under wraps. He would take a deep breath and return to his center.

[sms: Squall L.] I don’t want to have this conversation like this Rinoa 

  He had just moved to set the phone down on his desk when it buzzed against his palm, drawing blue eyes back to the screen with a sudden flare of heat up his neck.

 [sms: Rinoa H.] And it terrifies me that you don't trust me and it doesn't feel like you're in my corner or even on my side. ... I'm saving the rest for later. 

  Was she truly serious? 

[sms: Squall L.] Who are you to talk to me about trust?

[sms: Squall L.] Maybe you should have thought about that before you ran away with him?

[sms: Squall L.] I jumped out an airlock and free-floated through space for you

  Hyne, he never should have opened up like this. Feelings were so damned complicated.

[sms: Squall L.] Yes. Later. Please.

[laveritaswoman]

What’s the Big Deal?

Just came across these new pics of two beautiful couples on the red carpet: Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively at the Deadpool 2 premiere and Jamie Dornan and Amelia Warner at the Old Vic Bicentenary Ball (a pic, coincidentally, that S happened to “Like”. Both couplings are made up of successful married actors who look pretty happy to be appearing in public with their spouse, many years and several children after they tied the knot.

These coupley pics made me nostalgic for all the magic S and C once had that made them so special to all of us. From the time they met at C’s screen test in 2013 until the IFH in 2016, we were treated to an off-the-charts chemistry from two people who acted and looked, from all appearances, like a couple in love off-screen as well as on. But then the fuckery began with the IFH, with C in particular implying then and on other occasions that they could not be together because it would be too hard to be with someone else in the business. Since the IFH, we’ve had occasional glimpses of the pre-IFH magic, but soon after we’re subjected to some form of fuckery, whether it be adjacent trolling, a bizarre engagement, UBA photoshops, or fake pap walks.

I look at these other happy couples in which both spouses are actors and I think of the negative relationship comments C has made. Comments where she blithely dismisses the very possibility of dating or marrying another actor because of the potential problems caused by the ups and downs of the profession. Problems in a marriage can occur no matter what vocation either spouse is engaged in. Despite what C says about the downside of dating an actor, couples like Blake/Ryan, Jamie/Amelia and many others have successfully navigated this path by demonstrating a  commitment to treating each other as equals, supporting one another’s projects, and keeping their private lives private.

So when we see successful A-list actor pairings, who ignore all the outside noise and make their marriages work despite both being “in the profession,” it begs the question: if C-list actors S and C are in fact in a RL relationship with one another, what is the big deal and why are they going to such extremes to deny it and keep it hidden? The level of potential intrusion from fans in their private lives would be 1/16th of what A-lister actor couples would experience and most of those couples are doing just fine, so ... just ... why?  

I think we shippers ask ourselves that every day, especially when we’re treated to a rather nasty dose of fuckery. So what are the potential reasons S and C could be together privately but living a lie publicly and how well has it worked for them? 1. Well, if this sham is a brainchild of S and C, it is failing and appears to have taken the glow from their faces and the ebullience/chemistry out of their interactions – one of the very things that originally made them stand out from other actors and brought many shippers, followers, and viewers on board OL. Under current conditions, IMO, if movie scouts were to see their wan appearances and lack of banter and interaction on the red carpet, I can’t imagine them giving S or C a second thought for movie roles. 2. If it’s a non-frat driving this narrative, then S and C, their managers, and TPTB need to reassess the whole “not together” approach and acknowledge that it’s created either a negative effect or no notable positive effect. In fact, a positive effect would be best accomplished by allowing S and C to drop their charade and their adjacents and return to how they acted with one another before the IFH -- that’s what helped draw people to the show. 3. If S and C are concealing a relationship because they want awards panels and casting agents to believe their great onscreen chemistry is just amazing acting, they may have succeeded in reinforcing that through their many RL relationship denials, but has it really helped them? C has received some noms and awards, but she hasn’t appeared in any roles outside of OL since the IFH and S has had one supporting role thus far, in an LG movie. 4. If it’s to protect other people in S/C’s private life from fan intrusion, I refer you once again to A-listers like Jamie/Amelia and Ryan/Blake, who have successful marriages and children whilst maintaining their privacy. I think S and C would get more privacy if they came out with the truth. Then people would stop obsessing with speculation and sleuthing. 5. Another theory is that the denial may be in place to hide what S and C or TPTB might perceive would be a loss of viewers if a same-sex orientation is the issue for one of them. Hello, this is 2018 -- most people are accepting of gay actors in straight parts and if S were gay IRL, the majority of fans/viewers would still embrace him as the manly OL Highlander that he has played so well on screen for many years. And if some fans/viewers are not OK with that, why would S and C even care if they lost these fans? S, and particularly C, have numerous friends in same-sex relationships and both post in support of gay rights, so wouldn’t it be hypocritical to beard or hide the fact that one of them was gay? 6. Maybe S and C are really just not together or were but now aren't. Then why are these expensive and draining games necessary? 7. Finally, in the unlikely event that T is in fact a real fiance, then C needs to do herself, T and everyone else a favor and own the man by actually saying the words “my fiance Tony” in an interview, or by posting a pic of her and T on SM and labeling it “me and my fiance Tony.” And also by actually treating him like he’s a fiance/SO in public, not just a PA that holds her purse and wanders about aimlessly behind her at events. C needs to actually look at T, walk with him, talk to him, smile at him and touch him, you know, things that normal couples do and kind of what she does (still) with her platonic co-star S. 

SMH at all the time- and energy-wasting antics that have gone into this charade of S and C’s. Own your truth, S and C, whatever it is, and get back to focusing on OL -- you know, the actual TV show and not the Droughtlander sideshow. And speaking of Droughtlander: since we still have a few more months of drought left to go and more in coming years, hire more skilled promotional/PR staff and give fans and viewers something “real��� to focus on instead of fake narratives.   

[fy-girls-generation]

SEOHYUN INTERVIEW with Spot TV News ②

Seohyun stated she would be standing alone from Girls' Generation. While 'forever Girls' Generation' won't change, it is because she wants to test her other potentials. She's going back to basics from the celebrity Seohyun, to the person Seo Ju Hyun, jumping into a new world. Seohyun debuted with 'Into the New World', and was active with Girls' Generation for 10 years. Including her trainee days, it's been 15 years. After living as a member of Girls' Generation for a long time, Seohyun expressed 'Girls' Generation' saying, "We spent all our time together. They're like family. Rather than people I worked with, they're my youth.""From when I was young and lacking in things, to when I became mature, we spent it all together. It's really precious. We have thoughts of continuing on together. We're in the same group, but we have our own thoughts. We talked about a lot of things while promoting, too. Everyone thought about our careers, and I want to support them. We each have our own paths. Having those paths is natural." Girls' Generation's Seohyun and Sooyoung did not re-sign with SM. Tiffany is currently attending school in the US. She just left possibilities of activities with SM Entertainment and Girls' Generation open."We said we will never fall as Girls' Generation. It's the difference in the direction of Girls' Generation's activities. Someone who is 17 years old and 27 years old can't have the same direction. I think it changes with the passing of time. It's a big concern thinking about how we're going to continue to maintain Girls' Generation, which was made well over the past 10 years. SM and each of the members don't have an exact answer. We're thinking." On how she decided to stand alone, Seohyun revealed, "I wanted to look back on myself." She said she was "really really happy" living 10 years as a member of Girls' Generation. She's grateful that she was able to do what she wants without interruption. But she also thinks she only chased the work in front of her."At the time, I thought work was my life, that it was everything. As time passed, I wonder why I only looked at what was in front of me. I feel like I didn't look at my sides or behind me, only the front. I have things I missed as the person Seo Ju Hyun, not the celebrity Seohyun. I have a lot of thoughts." Finding a perfect environment like SM was "really lucky." She was loved and protected as Girls' Generation's youngest member. Seohyun explained, "I also thought about whether I could do this on my own. I did two things at once, and even thought about work while resting. I never set things down with a relaxed heart. Both my hands were full. It made me wonder how it would be if I let go of what was in one hand. I'm entering my late 20s and my 30s are nearing. I wanted to look back on myself and find some relaxation and start over. I needed a challenge and so I became independent." However, her affection for Girls' Generation hasn't changed. Seohyun said Girls' Generation is destiny. And that she was able to live as Seohyun until now because they had each other."Even if you say it's an expected answer, the reason I was able to do this and endure things until now is because we had each other. I think it's fortunate that I'm not alone, and I have the unnies. We had hard times because of each other, but there are a lot of times where we were able to get through things because of each other. So I got stronger. [Living as a celebrity,] my mentality has become like steel. I got hit (with life) early on. I started my career early, and the occupation of a celebrity has lots of people watching you. These pressures and responsibilities slowly got bigger. I started like that, so I can't give up, and I thought about how I could survive it and tried different things. I looked for the answer, and I'm still looking." Saying she still has a long road ahead of her, Seohyun is doing her best as a singer and actress. Especially after taking her first step as an actress, she wants to focus on acting for the time being. There wasn't anything that made her decide this. There's just been a change as she's gotten older, and it's made her think about her life from now on."I'm satisfied with my life so far. Of course, there are things that I regret, but I want to better myself. I think about how I can for it to be sincere. I also wonder what it is that I want. I wonder about the celebrity Seohyun and the person Seo Ju Hyun. I want to try things with my own strength. I want to try everything subjectively, even with any decision or direction I choose." Seohyun has also grown during the past 10 years. "I ran far and tried to do well. I was able to set that down a bit. While making this decision, I thought about how I would have to let go of what I'm holding in one hand, to grab something else. I didn't choose to become independent because of some kind of confidence. I left because I wanted to have my own self. I also feel anxious. I think I need a bit of that in order to develop more." The person Seo Ju Hyun is also planning on comfortably enjoying the value of daily life. She said she wants to go on trips, the movies alone, and drink with friends without having to worry about schedules the next day. Seohyun called herself a "27-year old with lots of energy." She added, "I'm normally bright and like a cute fool. I haven't been able to show that side of me." When told that she looks more relaxed, Seohyun replied, "I used to think I would have to be a certain kind of person and live like that. As time went by, it didn't seem like I had to really do that. I don't really know myself either. I thought I did, but I don't. That was me back then, and my current self is me as well. You don't know how a person can change. A person can't always be the same and consistent. Of course, there are things that are consistent." Seohyun chose 'good people are the ultimate winners' as her motto for when she wavers. "There was a time when I got confused while working. There are times when I do something with good intentions, but the other person doesn't take it well. I got skeptical. I thought about what I did wrong, and what the problem was. I even felt like I've been living like a fool. But it turned out the results don't make up the end. Accomplishing a lot doesn't mean that you've succeeded either. It could be that I don't have any free time so it makes me want more things. You also wonder if you'll be happy when you get those things. Thinking that I shouldn't be shaken while having thoughts about getting more relaxed helps." After running breathlessly, Seohyun is planning on relaxing, emptying herself, and studying. She said, "I want to show myself more developed through my next work." While it gets more difficult the more you do it, Seohyun said acting is really fun. She dreams of becoming a humane actor, and she said she wants to live a bit more freely and show people what kind of person she is. Seohyun said, "This is just the beginning. I want to age coolly. There is no answer. Doing things that you want without reserve is also great. I want to live with myself at the center without minding others. I want to act sincerely. I want to do real acting that can draw out understanding, and read people's hearts."

source

trans by ch0sshi

[smileyanie]

[TRANS] SEOHYUN INTERVIEW with Spot TV News, credit @ch0sshi

Seohyun stated she would be standing alone from Girls' Generation. While 'forever Girls' Generation' won't change, it is because she wants to test her other potentials. She's going back to basics from the celebrity Seohyun, to the person Seo Ju Hyun, jumping into a new world. Seohyun debuted with 'Into the New World', and was active with Girls' Generation for 10 years. Including her trainee days, it's been 15 years. After living as a member of Girls' Generation for a long time, Seohyun expressed 'Girls' Generation' saying, "We spent all our time together. They're like family. Rather than people I worked with, they're my youth.""From when I was young and lacking in things, to when I became mature, we spent it all together. It's really precious. We have thoughts of continuing on together. We're in the same group, but we have our own thoughts. We talked about a lot of things while promoting, too. Everyone thought about our careers, and I want to support them. We each have our own paths. Having those paths is natural." Girls' Generation's Seohyun and Sooyoung did not re-sign with SM. Tiffany is currently attending school in the US. She just left possibilities of activities with SM Entertainment and Girls' Generation open."We said we will never fall as Girls' Generation. It's the difference in the direction of Girls' Generation's activities. Someone who is 17 years old and 27 years old can't have the same direction. I think it changes with the passing of time. It's a big concern thinking about how we're going to continue to maintain Girls' Generation, which was made well over the past 10 years. SM and each of the members don't have an exact answer. We're thinking." On how she decided to stand alone, Seohyun revealed, "I wanted to look back on myself." She said she was "really really happy" living 10 years as a member of Girls' Generation. She's grateful that she was able to do what she wants without interruption. But she also thinks she only chased the work in front of her."At the time, I thought work was my life, that it was everything. As time passed, I wonder why I only looked at what was in front of me. I feel like I didn't look at my sides or behind me, only the front. I have things I missed as the person Seo Ju Hyun, not the celebrity Seohyun. I have a lot of thoughts." Finding a perfect environment like SM was "really lucky." She was loved and protected as Girls' Generation's youngest member. Seohyun explained, "I also thought about whether I could do this on my own. I did two things at once, and even thought about work while resting. I never set things down with a relaxed heart. Both my hands were full. It made me wonder how it would be if I let go of what was in one hand. I'm entering my late 20s and my 30s are nearing. I wanted to look back on myself and find some relaxation and start over. I needed a challenge and so I became independent." However, her affection for Girls' Generation hasn't changed. Seohyun said Girls' Generation is destiny. And that she was able to live as Seohyun until now because they had each other."Even if you say it's an expected answer, the reason I was able to do this and endure things until now is because we had each other. I think it's fortunate that I'm not alone, and I have the unnies. We had hard times because of each other, but there are a lot of times where we were able to get through things because of each other. So I got stronger. [Living as a celebrity,] my mentality has become like steel. I got hit (with life) early on. I started my career early, and the occupation of a celebrity has lots of people watching you. These pressures and responsibilities slowly got bigger. I started like that, so I can't give up, and I thought about how I could survive it and tried different things. I looked for the answer, and I'm still looking." Saying she still has a long road ahead of her, Seohyun is doing her best as a singer and actress. Especially after taking her first step as an actress, she wants to focus on acting for the time being. There wasn't anything that made her decide this. There's just been a change as she's gotten older, and it's made her think about her life from now on."I'm satisfied with my life so far. Of course, there are things that I regret, but I want to better myself. I think about how I can for it to be sincere. I also wonder what it is that I want. I wonder about the celebrity Seohyun and the person Seo Ju Hyun. I want to try things with my own strength. I want to try everything subjectively, even with any decision or direction I choose." Seohyun has also grown during the past 10 years. "I ran far and tried to do well. I was able to set that down a bit. While making this decision, I thought about how I would have to let go of what I'm holding in one hand, to grab something else. I didn't choose to become independent because of some kind of confidence. I left because I wanted to have my own self. I also feel anxious. I think I need a bit of that in order to develop more." The person Seo Ju Hyun is also planning on comfortably enjoying the value of daily life. She said she wants to go on trips, the movies alone, and drink with friends without having to worry about schedules the next day. Seohyun called herself a "27-year old with lots of energy." She added, "I'm normally bright and like a cute fool. I haven't been able to show that side of me." When told that she looks more relaxed, Seohyun replied, "I used to think I would have to be a certain kind of person and live like that. As time went by, it didn't seem like I had to really do that. I don't really know myself either. I thought I did, but I don't. That was me back then, and my current self is me as well. You don't know how a person can change. A person can't always be the same and consistent. Of course, there are things that are consistent." Seohyun chose 'good people are the ultimate winners' as her motto for when she wavers. "There was a time when I got confused while working. There are times when I do something with good intentions, but the other person doesn't take it well. I got skeptical. I thought about what I did wrong, and what the problem was. I even felt like I've been living like a fool. But it turned out the results don't make up the end. Accomplishing a lot doesn't mean that you've succeeded either. It could be that I don't have any free time so it makes me want more things. You also wonder if you'll be happy when you get those things. Thinking that I shouldn't be shaken while having thoughts about getting more relaxed helps." After running breathlessly, Seohyun is planning on relaxing, emptying herself, and studying. She said, "I want to show myself more developed through my next work." While it gets more difficult the more you do it, Seohyun said acting is really fun. She dreams of becoming a humane actor, and she said she wants to live a bit more freely and show people what kind of person she is. Seohyun said, "This is just the beginning. I want to age coolly. There is no answer. Doing things that you want without reserve is also great. I want to live with myself at the center without minding others. I want to act sincerely. I want to do real acting that can draw out understanding, and read people's hearts."