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firefly464 · 4 years ago

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The Real World - Chapter 4

Uhhh so I may have gotten a bit carried away writing this chapter... Oh well! I had lots of fun writing it :D

Made in collaboration with @i-have-this-now

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~~~

Tommy stared out the window of his small wooden shack. He had been relocated from the broken down van to a new, hastily put together room in the corner of L’manberg. Everyone had figured that the van was due to collapse at any second, and they didn’t exactly want the teenager in there when it did. After all, it wasn’t like he could just go back to his own base. That was directly in the middle of the Dream SMP. Going back there would be like signing a death warrant.

He understood his friends thought process, he really did. But just because he understood it didn’t mean he was happy about it. Ever since he arrived in this strange world, the broken down van had been his home away from home. He knew that just being in it was dangerous, but that didn’t really matter. It was important to him. He was just glad they hadn’t forced him to stay in the underground bunker with everyone else.

He sighed as he stared up at the night sky. What time was it now anyways. 2am? Maybe 3? Didn’t really matter either way. His mind was too full for sleep. He kept thinking about his home. His real home. He thought about his family and friends. He thought about his dogs, his favorite foods. How long had it been since he last slept in his own bed? Since he had eaten something that wasn’t just bread and steak?

A tear slid down his face. He wanted to go home… But he had no idea how he had even gotten to this world, much less how to get out. Hell, there wasn’t even anyone who he could talk to about it. Unless…

A thought crossed his mind. He recalled how Dream had acted during the duel, in the seconds before he had lost consciousness. He had screamed and ran over to his side, as if trying to check on him. It was something that didn’t match up with the stories tubbo had told him. Whenever Tubbo had brought up Dream, his eyes filled with genuine anger and hatred. He spoke of a ruthless man who had destroyed their lives. A man who wasted no time in attempting to blow them all up. A man who had laid down explosives just to prove a point. It was a story that just hadn’t made sense to Tommy.

Dream was a nice guy, and a friend. Sure he would tease and poke fun, but that didn’t change the fact that he meant well. It also didn’t make sense with what he had seen. After the duel, Tommy hadn’t seen Dream at all. If the stories Tubbo told were true, then it would have made sense for him to attack while he was unconscious or wounded.

Maybe… Maybe Dream was connected to what was happening to him? He knew that it was a stretch, but at this point he had no other leads. He just wanted to figure out what was going on and how he could leave.

He scanned the dark L’manberg property. Empty. Not a single torch or lantern was lit. Which meant… it was clear for him to make a run for it. He knew for a fact that none of his friends would support him going to visit the enemy. If they had any idea what he was trying to do, they would lock him inside the wooden shack until the nether froze over.

Quietly, he slipped out into the warm summer night. As quietly as he could, Tommy crept across the terrain to a small hole in the wall. He couldn’t go out the main entrance, it was completely caved in from the explosion. Trying to climb it would only end poorly.

He was nearly out of the L’manberg property when a voice cut through the silent night air. “Tommy? Where are you going?”

The teenager swore under his breath. Of course Wilbur was out here. He had even said earlier that he was going to try to keep watch. Tommy turned to where the voice had come from, and nearly shrieked. In the pale moonlight, Wilbur looked like a monster straight out of a story book. His eyes were blood-shot and puffy. Pale, almost translucent looking skin was stretched across his face. His cheeks were sunken in , giving him a ghostly appearance.

Tommy stepped closer to the older man, now feeling concerned more than anything “I was just… going for a walk…” he said, trying to make the lie sound convincing.

Wilbur scoffed. “At 2 in the morning? I thought you were supposed to be resting.” he raised an eyebrow

“I um… got better?” he responded, running his hand through his hair, “and I just wanted to go look around a bit… I’ve been inside for the past week.” he chuckles nervously

“Chugging 5 health potions if not enough to be considered ‘better,’ Tommy. I thought you already learned your lesson.” He made air quotes with his fingers to send his message across.

Tommy’s eyes widened “how did you…” his voice trailed off

His friend laughed at his confusion. “I saw you on the roof of the van earlier. No way would you have been able to make it up there if you were still injured. A quick check on our potion supply was all it took to confirm my suspicions.”

“W-well then you should know that I’m perfectly capable of going on there on my own! I’m healed up now!”

“Tommy, I don’t care how healed you are. You aren’t going out there on your own. Understood?”

Tommy’s jaw dropped open “What? Why the fuck not?”

“Because it's dangerous! Who knows what could happen to you if you went out there. Dream already tried to kill you once, who's to say that it won't happen again?”

“I can take care of myself! I’m not going to do anything stupid”

“Do you really expect me to believe that? You literally challenged Dream to a fucking duel while we tried negotiating peace treaties. If that isn’t idiotic then I don’t know what is.”

Tommy took a deep breath. Of course Wilbur didn’t trust him to go out on his own. Pretty much every other choice he had made was rash and dumb. Even if it had been mostly for the sake of entertainment in the real world, that wasn’t the case in this world. He was just a brash teenager here. “Will, I’ll be fine. I promise. I just need a chance to go and clear my head. We both know that I won’t get a chance to during the day.”

Wilbur closed his eyes, considering Tommy’s offer. He did understand where he was coming from. The L’manberg territory wasn’t that big, and it could feel suffocating at times. Besides, he needed to trust his second in command, didn’t he? “Fine. But I expect you to be back by dawn. And I want you to come back and report to me immediately if you see anything suspicious. Understood?”

He nodded, releasing a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding. “Of course,” he said, taking a step towards the hold in the wall. “Go get some rest Wilbur. You look terrible”

He shook his head “I’m fine. I just need to keep everyone safe”

“You can’t keep people safe if you’re passed out. Go rest. I’ll wake you up if I see anything.”

“... Fine. Just be careful” Wilbur stood and walked away from the tree he was sitting against. Tommy stared at his friend’s retreating figure for a moment, before walking out into the crisp summer night.

As soon as he knew Tommy had left, Wilbur turned and rushed towards the hole in the wall. Like hell was he going to let Tommy go off on his own. The kid was going to do something stupid with no one to back him up. Will wasn’t going to let that happen.

~~~

Dream stood in the training grounds above his home. With a wooden training sword in his hand, he attempted to practice some of the techniques that George had used earlier that day. God, why was he so fucking useless?

24 seconds. That was how long the longest bout had lasted. 24 seconds before Dream surrendered. It had taken George 4 different bouts before he had called it a day. Dream had refused. He begged his friend to teach him how to use the sword, making up some bull shit excuse about the lingering effects from the poison to justify it. He wanted to learn how to fight. After all, he was apparently the best at combat in the smp. It made sense. After all, he was a world record holder. So why on earth was he so useless?!

“Because its not a fucking game anymore,” he said out loud, frustration seeping into his voice. He was glad no one was around to hear him, or to see him stumbling around with the practice sword.

“Here I thought you were supposed to be good at PVP,” said a voice behind him. Tommy's voice… Dream whirled around, still holding the sword.

On one hand, he felt a rush of relief at the words. Tommy had survived. He was ok. But on the other, he was still the second in command of L’manberg. For all Dream knew, Tommy could have been sent to assassinate him. It was a theory that was only made more likely when he considered his failure from earlier that day. Wilbur had somehow heard about how weak and pathetic he had become, and sent Tommy to kill him while he couldn’t fight back.

Dream locked eyes with his friend. Tommy stood at the opposite side of the small training grounds, watching Dream practice. The teenager stepped onto the wooden floor and picked up one of the practice swords. He held it in his hand for a moment, before making a couple swings and stabs. He may not have fallen over, but he still looked like a dork.

Tommy let out a laugh, “This is so cool. This is so fucking cool!” he spun and pointed the sword at Dream. His face had a massive grin on it, making him look like a little kid. “Come at me bitch boy, I’ve got a knife! What are you gonna do about it!”

Dream raised an eyebrow. Tommy was acting as if he had never held a sword in his life. But that didn’t make sense. In this world, sword fighting seemed to be rather common. And Tommy had been rather skilled at minecraft PVP. That should have translated to his combat abilities in this world. So why was he acting like a 5 year old? “You act like you’ve never held a sword before,” Dream said.

Tommy stared at Dream, trying to gauge his reaction. He tried to figure out the best response. He had heard Dream muttering about it not being a game anymore, but that wasn’t nearly enough to risk revealing himself. So instead he pushed just a little more. “Says the one flailing around like a headless chicken. Aren’t you supposed to be the Minecraft god? Or are you just bad?”

Dream froze. No one had even mentioned the word Minecraft since he had arrived here. Whenever he tried bringing it up in conversation, his friends had just looked at him like he was crazy. But here Tommy was just saying it like it was nothing. “How do you-” he began to ask, but was cut off by the sound of metal.

Tommy’s eyes narrowed. Dream knew something. And he wasn’t sharing. In a single motion, he drew his netherite sword and pointed it at Dream’s throat. He took a deep breath, trying to keep his hand from trembling. Dream dropped his practice sword and raised his hands in the air. Tommy was seething with anger. “I fucking knew it! You stupid son of a bitch I knew you had something to do with this! What did you do to me?! Where am I?! Why can’t I go home?!”

“I-”

“What are you planning Dream? What are you trying to get out of this?” He growled.

“I don’t know!” Dream said desperately “I don’t know what's going on!”

“Bullshit! You’re the only one who’s even remotely reacted to something from the real world. You must know something!”

“Tommy I just want to go home!” Dream shouts “I don’t fucking belong here! Don’t you think if I knew how to leave, I would?!”

“Give me one good reason why I should believe you,” he said, stepping forward slightly so that the tip of the blade rested against Dream’s throat.

“Because you’re my friend!” he yelled. “If I knew how to help you, or what to do, then I would!”

Tommy considered Dream’s words. He had a point… the two of them were friends, weren’t they? Tommy should at least give him the courtesy of listening to his side of the story before jumping to any conclusions. Dream’s appearance only solidified his decision. His eyes were red and swollen from lack of sleep. He looked like he was in a similar condition to Wilbur. Except instead of stress and worry, Dream’s declining health was due to frustration and fear.

He lowered the blade to his side and stepped back. “Fine. I’ll believe you for now.” He looked down at his hand “When were you brought here?”

Dream let out a breath of relief. He knew that if Tommy had really wanted to, he could have run him through, no questions asked. And Dream didn’t even know how to defend himself. “About a week ago I think? It was during the bow duel…”

Tommy nodded. “Same. All I remember was being on the computer, and then suddenly I held a bow and had an arrow through my chest.”

Dream winced “Are you ok now at least? I’ve been really scared that I actually killed you…”

“Fine. I drank a couple health pots earlier today, so at least my wound is healed. It’s been more boring than anything else” he was silent for a moment, thinking. “Dream… How much do you know about the war?”

“Um, wasn’t it pretty much the same as it was in game?”

Tommy shook his head “No. According to Tubbo, it was so much worse here… Apparently the war has been going on for over half a year now. I guess the only reason everyone lasted so long was because they were constantly downing health and regen pots. But even so, I guess it was a bloodbath…” his voice trailed off, remembering the pained and weary expression on Tubbo’s face when he had talked about it.

“Are you serious…?”

“Yeah. Everyone back in L’manberg is terrified of you. They all despise you for what you’ve done to them. I guess the other you was a ruthless monster…”

The concerned look on Dream's face only grew more and more as Tommy continued talking. The two of them stood in silence once Tommy had finished. After a couple minutes of thinking, he finally spoke. “Tomorrow, I’ll be calling a council to negotiate a peace treaty. I’m going to put an end to this war, once and for all.”

Tommy nodded “that sounds… good. It’ll be nice to not have everyone look so fucking scared all the time” He glanced up at the moon in the sky. “I need to be heading back. Will is gonna be worried if I’m not back soon.”

“Oh yeah, isn’t it past your bedtime?” he asked with a chuckle

A smile broke out onto tommys face “I’ll have you know, I am far too old and mature for bedtimes.”

“Right. I’m sure that everyone would agree with that”

“Oh they most definitely would. After all, I’m the second in command to Wilbur! It takes a lot of maturity to do that.”

“Uh huh. Get going you freaking child”

“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of your stupidity!” Tommy called out as he walked away from Dream and back to L’manberg. For the first time since he had woken up, he felt actually hopeful. Hopeful that he would find a way home. Hopeful that maybe things would turn out ok. He grinned to himself as he jogged down the wooden path, mostly just grateful that he was no longer all alone.

~~~ Wilbur paced in his small room, trying to figure out what to do. The conversation between Tommy and Dream echoed in his mind. At first, he had been following Tommy to protect him and make sure he didn’t do anything rash. He had very nearly revealed himself to the teenager when he had approached the training grounds. But then he had heard him start to speak.

Tommy may have baited and attacked Dream at first, but then Dream had claimed to be a friend. Wilbur wasn’t sure what bothered him more. The fact that Dream was claiming to be an ally, or the fact that those words had caused Tommy to spare him. Just last week, Tommy had sworn to kill Dream, no matter what. Why on earth had he suddenly changed his mind?

Unless… Unless it was all an act. An act to get close to them, then stab them in the backs. No. No Tommy would never do that. There had to be some other explanation. Some other reasoning for his behavior.

Wilbur hadn’t heard the conversation after Tommy had spared Dream. He knew that he should have stayed, but he couldn’t bear watching his friend betray him. Better to live in the dark. He would just have to keep an eye on him. Yeah. Keep an eye on him, and make sure that he didn’t do anything to hurt them.

It would be fine. Everything would be fine.

~~~

“Look. If you’re here to ask about Tommy or Dream, then you can piss off. I came back to streaming for a break from all that,” Tubbo told his viewers. His eyes involuntarily drifted towards his other monitor, as they often did when he thinking about his missing friends. His second monitor was where he had Discord open. Where Tommy and Dream still sat in the main voice channel, completely silent. Neither of their families had the heart to turn off their computers, so they just sat there, exactly as they were before they vanished. Tubbo liked to sit in the vc whenever he was streaming. Something about it was… comforting to him. He wasn’t sure why.

His attention was drawn back to the stream chat by a donation. It was filled with questions about his missing friends.

He let out a groan of frustration. “All right, we’re going on sub only mode for a bit. I can’t deal with this shit right now. Thanks mods,” he told the chat, “I know, I know, I don’t like it either. But I just can’t deal with questions about them right now. Sorry guys.”

That was when it happened. A rustling sound. A voice very quietly saying, “what the…”

Tubbo frowned in confusion. “Can you guys hear that? Or is it just me?” he asked.

That was when he heard it. Tommy's voice. Tommy’s voice coming in from the discord vc. All he said were two words. “Hello? Tubbo?”

The stream went offline.

~~~

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ourloveisforthelovely · 4 years ago

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In Love and Death 6

Harry Potter AU

Link to Part 5

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: M

________

Evan lay looking up at the ceiling. He hadn’t moved in over half an hour. Dolohov leaned over to Rodolphus Lestrange.

“Should we poke him or something? Is he dead?”

Rodolphus rolled his eyes.

“He’s blinking, idiot. Rosier, it's been 30 minutes, can you get yourself together?”

Evan sat up running a hand through his sandy blonde hair. He scowled angrily at his two former associates. Both men appeared a bit bored and put out with his reaction.

“I am sorry that I am boring the lot of you with the news that my baby is having a child. I am going to be a grandfather at 20. There is something fucked up about that.”

Dolohov held a hand up.

“You're technically not 20.”

“I DIDN’T ASK FOR YOUR INPUT!”

Evan yelled. Rodolphus held up a hand.

“What?”

Evan snapped. Rodolphus shrugged.

“Y/n technically isn’t a baby. She’s an 18-year-old auror that almost took my head off. Y/n is vicious. She would be good on our side but we all know that isn’t going to happen.”

Evan’s wand was out before Rodolphus could say a word. He pointed the wand right at his friend and muttered “crucio.” Evan was not going to deal with this shit from his own friends. He was dealing with enough torture from his former best friend and daughter. The last thing that Evan needed was help from anyone else.

(meanwhile)

Regulus sat at the dining room table thumbing through a book. He glanced down at his watch curiously. You had been called out for a job the previous night and had not returned. Regulus had expected you home before now and was beginning to get worried. It didn’t help that you didn’t answer the stupid cell phone that Regulus still hated.

“There you are. You are a hard guy to find.”

Regulus glanced up to see Sirius standing in the doorway. Neither brother had said a word to the other in a few days and it hadn’t bothered Regulus one bit. Regulus felt a lot better since he had gotten his feelings off of his chest. Years of holding in how he felt about Sirius had finally escaped.

To Sirius’ displeasure, Regulus said nothing. His eyes went back to the book in front of him acting as though Sirius didn’t exist. Sirius stood a moment before sitting down across from Regulus.

“You are going to talk to me. I’ll be so annoying that you’ll sink to my level like a rock! I don’t know what makes you think that you are so much better than me. I asked you to come with me that night but you wouldn’t leave mum. You are a spoiled mummy’s boy who would do anything that they told you. I shouldn't be surprised though. You would never give James or any of my friends a chance. You were too busy with your holier than thou friends who were all a bunch of pureblood snoots.”

Regulus leaned back in his chair.

“I am hearing a lot of yous but not a lot of me. You, my dear brother, are a fine one to talk about someone being arrogant. Now stop posturing me and go away. I’m busy.”

Sirius smirked.

“Look at that! Your power of speech has been renewed. What are you doing anyway?”

“None of your business.”

Sirius watched as Regulus’ eyes flickered to his watch.

“Waiting on Y/n, huh? I’m sure she is just fine. I never thought that I would see the day that you would go gaga over a girl. To be honest, we all thought that you were asexual or something. I don’t think that I ever saw you talk to a girl.”

Regulus swallowed back the rage that was beginning to build.

“That right there shows that you know nothing about me. You don’t know about Ambrosia or any of the other girls that I dated. You were too busy being a manwhore. Now, as I said, leave me alone.”

Sirius shook his head.

“No, we are fixing our problems!”

“Somethings can’t be fixed.”

Regulus replied. Sirius jumped up.

“Stop being a control freak and listen to me!”

(meanwhile)

You stood outside the door waiting for all of the security enchantments to let you in. Tonks had been mostly quiet since she started throwing up in the neighbor's bushes. Your eyes flickered over to your best friend whose color closely resembled the half-rotten lime that was in the refrigerator.

“I think that you are going to be on desk duty soon.”

You commented as Tonks looked up.

“Ugh, no. I do not want to be on desk duty while you are out running around having fun.”

You scoffed.

“I wouldn’t consider being thrown against a wall by some overgrown death eater fun but if you insist.”

Tonks smirked as she laid her head on your shoulder.

“Watching you quote Supernatural was fun. I quote My name is Y/n Rosier. Prepare to die. That is going to be a classic.”

You shrugged.

“Good times, huh? Do me a solid and don’t tell any member of the male race in this house what happened last night. Regulus is already tense enough without me telling him that my head bashed into some brick. I mean, yeah, we beat that guy up and threw him in a cell with his name on it but if Reggie finds out that I got hurt...he will want to go to work with me.”

Tonks knew that you were right. Regulus was protective enough of you without her help.

“I won’t. Now come on, I really need to make a potion for my stomach trouble.”

The both of you stepped inside to hear Sirius and Regulus yelling random obscenities at each other. Your eyes rolled over to your friend.

“Here we go.”

The two of you quickly walked into the dining room where Regulus and Sirius had destroyed the room trying to hex each other. It looked like after destroying the room, they decided to beat the crap out of each other seemed to be the next best thing to try. Kreacher meanwhile, stood in the corner with a dustpan and a broom muttering about Sirius being a filthy blood traitor and starting everything. There was also something about "his poor mistresses treasures being broken."

“What the hell is going on around here?”

You snapped. Both Regulus and Sirius didn’t turn to look at Tonks nor yourself.

“We are just playing.”

Sirius replied.

“Go away, love. We are dealing with a problem.”

Regulus added. You blinked a few times before quickly going back into “work mode.” Tonks had started to try to break it up but you gently pushed her away and shoved yourself between both brothers.

“I said that is enough...both of you.”

You said in an authoritative tone that you typically had to take with morons that you were about to lock up.

“We aren’t done.”

Sirius hissed. You turned your attention to the elder brother.

“Sirius, don’t make me shove you in that other room. You know that I can too.”

Regulus laughed.

“Get shoved around by a girl, do you? That has to hurt your male pride.”

Your attention went back to your own lover. His eyes were wild and he looked as if he was ready to start letting the hexes fly again.

“I said ENOUGH! Regulus, Sirius knows that you think he is a selfish asshole. Sirius, Regulus knows that you think he is a selfish little prat. We don’t need to hear it again.”

You turned your attention back to Regulus.

“Come on, Reggie.”

Regulus turned his attention back to you. He felt a little embarrassed that it was you that had to come in and stop the ridiculousness between Sirius and himself.

“Where are we going?”

He asked, softly. You pulled your coat back on before tossing him his.

“My grandmothers. She asked to see me and I figured it would be a great time to give her the gift that we talked about.’

It was Sirius’ turn to frown. You going around your pureblood family was a horrible idea in the making. What if Evan was there?

“Um, why don’t you two go see other people? What is the gift? Did you buy her an urn to put your mother’s ashes in?”

Tonks elbowed Sirius in the side as you turned. You surprisingly laughed.

“Good one. Grandmother would just put her in a trash bag if she was given the choice. The gift is me dating another pureblood. She simply won’t know what to do with herself. We are going because I need to get information on my father.”

“But...it's dangerous.”

Sirius commented. You smiled and wrapped your hand through Regulus’ in hopes to calm his temper that was still raging.

“Between Regulus and myself, we will be just fine. Go deal with Dora, she has been puking in the neighbors' bushes. You or Remus caused this problem..go fix it.”

Sirius winced before leaving the room.

(Twenty minutes later)

You stood outside of your grandmother’s door with a sigh. Regulus watched you from the corner of his eye as you raised your hand to knock a few times but stopped. In the few months that the two of you had been a couple, you had barely spoken to your family.

“We are going to be standing here all day if you don’t knock already.”

Regulus hissed. You turned to your boyfriend.

“I don’t like my family.”

Regulus smirked. He leaned down to kiss the top of your head.

“What a coincidence. I hate mine too. Maybe it's a good thing that we can’t have kids. They would be making our lives a lot worse. Granted, most of my family is dead except my stupid brother. My mother’s portrait could screech from her painting. That would be miserable.”

You looked down at your feet for a minute.

“We can always keep trying. I know a lot of people who weren’t supposed to be able to have kids and when they gave up...boom they were pregnant.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. He wrapped his hand around yours and pulled you to him.

“We don’t need to follow in Tonks and those dorks that she’s dating’s footsteps to be happy. We have been happy just fine without this conversation not coming up. Besides, I like being able to have my way with you whenever I damn well please.”

Regulus was relieved when you smiled.

“You’re right. We are going to be just fine. When we get home, we can scare the crap out of your brother. Might as well get this over with.”

You finally knocked on the door before stepping back and intertwining your hand with Regulus’ waiting hand. The moment the door opened, your grandmother’s house elf “Daisy” stood on the other side. She looked up at you with a sour expression that the unfriendly creature wore so well. You couldn’t help but think that Kreacher and Daisy would really hit it off. They could probably compare notes on which family member that they hated the most.

“Mistress Y/n...a long time its been.”

You nodded.

“Yes, it has. I would like to see grandmother, Daisy.”

Daisy nodded and led you down a dark hallway. You kept your hand locked around Regulus as the darkness of the home soured your mood. The Rosier family home was as gloomy and depressing as the Black family home.

“Mistress, you have a visitor.”

Daisy announced as you stepped into the sitting room. Your grandmother sat with a knitting pattern in front of her. Her blue eyes were clearly surprised to see you and even more surprised to see Regulus.

“Y/n...Regulus...how is this possible?”

She asked, standing up. It had been years since she learned of Regulus Black’s death. Evan had been a wreck when he found out that his best friend “died” now here he stood looking just as he had the last time that he was seen.

“I can’t answer that, Mrs. Rosier.”

Regulus answered. Your grandmother was pleased enough with the response. Stranger things had happened over the past few weeks.

“Well, sit.”

Mrs. Rosier stated before returning back to her chair. She watched as you sat down beside Regulus. It didn’t take her having years of experience on this earth to know that the two of you were a couple.

“So, Y/n do you have something to tell me?”

You knew that this was coming.

“Regulus and I are a couple, grandmother.”

Your grandmother immediately looked pleased as a plum. This was clearly the news that she had been waiting to hear. After you became an auror and “let the family down” it was wonderful news to discover that you were dating a pureblood man that was decent and worthy (in your grandmother’s eyes).

“I am actually aware. Your father came to see me.”

Your grandmother smiled when your face went serious.

“He doesn't seem very pleased with the news, however.”

She added as your attention went to Regulus.

“I know, grandmother. He is having a bit of a cow over it.”

Your grandmother picked up her knitting needles and went back to work.

“You have to understand, Y/n, the last time that your father saw you was many years ago when you were a little girl. Finding out that you are an adult with a lover has to be hard for him to process.”

You frowned.

“So hard to process that he went and killed my mother.”

Your grandmother scowled at you.

“Yes, a real tragedy. Tell Evan that I said hello and he owes me five minutes of civilized conversation that doesn’t result in us trying to hex each other.”

Your grandmother stood up. Her displeased expression returned.

“Y/n, it's time that you stop this nonsense that you have been doing. You are a Rosier and it's time that you start acting like one. Your grandfather would roll over in his grave if he knew that you were an auror who is locking up our friends. Leave the room, Y/n. I want to talk to Regulus alone.”

You waited until Regulus gently patted your leg before standing up and walking out.

Mrs. Rosier closed the door behind her before pouring a glass of whiskey and handing it to Regulus.

“What are your intentions?”

“Intentions?”

Regulus questioned, softly. Mrs. Rosier smiled. She was used to Regulus Black’s silence. From the time that the boy was born, Mrs. Rosier had always adored Regulus Black’s shy nature.

“What do you intend to do with my granddaughter?”

Regulus had a feeling where this was going.

“You can tell Evan that I love her more than life itself. That should clearly state my intentions.”

Mrs. Rosier grinned.

“My son is convinced that you have abandoned the dark lord. I do hope that you remember the oath that you took when you accepted that mark on your arm.”

Regulus frowned.

“The dark lord is dead, Mrs. Rosier. What's left of our side is being swept up and sent off to Azkaban. You may want to tell Evan that he better watch his back just like I am having to watch mine.”

Mrs. Rosier smiled coldly.

“My dear boy...it looks like Y/n and yourself are being kept in the dark. The dark lord is back and strengthening with each day. Maybe you should consult with Y/n’s little friend Harry Potter about it. He, after all, saw everything and it's been all over the daily prophet. It makes sense that you didn’t know. Being an inferi for all of these years results in one not knowing all that is happening.”

Regulus sat taking in Mrs. Rosier’s words with a dark expression on his face. Was she right?

“I guess we shall see.”

Regulus commented before standing up.

“It was a pleasure, Mrs. Rosier. I promised, Y/n a date.”

________

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maladaptive-ninja-returns · 5 years ago

Text

It’s The Avengers (03x06)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 06: Mrs Silvertongue

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: one of those tropes. one of those hnnghh tropes

Word Count: I was supposed to post this four hours ago but my colleague called me to play and that dumb dork was drunk while I was laughing throughout. So, here it is. Also...I’m hot. No, I am actually hot. The temperatures are going up! I need some cool breeze.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

"Everybody stay together. Do not make eye contact with strangers. Do not buy stuff you don't know about and definitely do not leave your eatables unattended."

The camera switched from Loki's barely composed face to your stuffed one strapping the backpack securely behind you before looking at Loki and the sandwich sitting on the seat between the two of you.

"Wha," you stated, still not swallowing, "iss wight hea. Sop bein a wowwie wat."

The camera in Javi's hand caught the bustle on the 'station' where you all were supposed to board shuttles to be on your way to another galaxy before travelling to Knowhere. The area was thousands of square feet wide made in a dome shape outside a planet currently under the supervision of the soldiers form Andromeda. After the War, the security had been tightened around galaxy travel to monitor any remains of the Radicals who had supported Thanos and were currently the most wanted criminals in the universe. Screens everywhere showed the flights and timings along with various commercials for products all around the galaxy. Some you were able to read thank to the translation glasses the Hardy boys provided you, others were a jumbled mess of strokes and illegible patterns. Creatures from all around the wonderful black expanse moved about in this station while soldiers who looked like they had been overly tanned scanned them and their belongings before sending them on their designated shuttles. It all worked as an airport. Except for one thing.

"Well, at least there's no random selection here that is not based on some 'racist profiling'," you quoted, getting a nod of agreement from Javi.

"Oh, there is racist profiling here," Loki interrupted your blissful thoughts, "but ever since the war, it has just been bent towards the ones who helped Thanos."

"Huh, even space isn't free from such mindsets then."

An announcement on the screens caught Loki's attention. "That's our shuttle. Come on. Lulu, up."

Lulu jumped and settled on Loki's shoulder and the camera caught a full grin on your lips.

You: *smirk* And he was the one who didn't want me to take Lulu from the desert *tilt your head* you know what... he is exactly like a choco lava cake. Sturdy looking outside but soft, mushy and melting aaaaall on the inside *giggles*

Loki: she was talking about me, wasn't she? *narrows eyes at the camera* What was she saying? Javi, tell me. Javi, we're good friends. Come on, Javi. You're stuck with me. Javi. Javi. Hey. I'm the only one who can get you out of this hell hole. Javi. *looks at Javi's figure walking away* Javi. Javi! Come on! Javi!!

The creature scanning your line seemed to come out of some American writer's stereotypical description of a green alien except for the part where her huge beady black eyes had slits, just like a cat. She was stoic as a feline too, going about her job without any emotion on her face. And when it came your turn to stand underneath the scanner, her ignorance of your greetings did not help your nerves.

"You are a...terran," she stated more than she asked.

"Yes, ma'am." You blinked like a dumb animal and tried to remember to smile.

"Your business in the galaxy?" Her slow and positively raspy voice interrogated.

"Just travelling with my-" you blinked again while trying to innocently shrug with a hint of shy, looking like a questionable human-"boys. You know, sight seeing."

Those silver slits stared at you for solid five seconds, not even breathing apparently, before stamping a token and handing it to you and diverting her attention to the next passenger- Loki.

You and your bags moved to the other side of the scanner, waiting for Loki and Lulu while Javier made it next to you from the scanner next to yours. The creature looked at the information the scan brought on her screen in a language neither you nor the camera understood. But one thing that was catching the camera's focus was this text blinking in red next to Loki's picture.

"You are Loki," she stated to the God, scrutinising him from head to toe in those black scruffed jeans and t-shirt underneath a deep maroon long jacket.

"Hm," you forced out a light chuckle, "guess Tony and Clint are not the only ones who are weirded out by seeing him in anything other than his New York attire."

"Of Asgard," Loki added with an 'at your pleasure’ smirk.

"A Frost Giant," the lady acknowledged in her raspy voice. "Have you travelled to the Andromeda before?"

"I have, yes. But not in the recent years."

"State your purpose for the visit to the galaxy."

"I am-" he paused to throw a quick look in your direction before going back to his interrogator- "going there on some unfinished business with an old friend."

The lady, stoic like a rock, looked at Loki for the next ten seconds before pressing a button underneath her screen. Somewhere behind you, you and the camera could hear synchronised footsteps. The camera turned to catch seven aliens- five bulky, one bulkier than all the others, and the last one a leaner and less appeasing version of the lady- walk past you towards Loki.

Lulu, who could feel the change in the atmosphere around him, felt himself shifting on Loki's shoulders while his fur stood up like a frightened cat. But never once did that little fluffy boy leave Loki's side.

"Loki, of Asgard," the leaner one announced, "you are to come with us. Please carry your belongings with you. Please refrain from using any means to resist for you will be charged against the law of the peace fleet. Please put your hands forward so we may put diluters on your wri-I see you already have some version of them on your wrist. Very well. Please follow me."

The camera caught you, mouth gaping open and eyes out in refrained horror, looking at Loki while trying to keep your breaths as calm as possible.

"Oh fuck," your breaths forced out, "what the fuck is happening? Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fu-"

Loki was already moving behind the lean one, the parade of bulky Captain Gantu’s following him with their synchronised boot work. One of them looked down at the camera, sending a glare of yellow through those hollow eyes before turning back, entering what seemed like an elevator. Loki stood right in the middle, his eyes shifting from the lean alien to you for a few seconds before white doors closed and he disappeared from your view.

The camera now came back to your face, which was still staring in that direction, the colour from your skin a little faded, the pupils contracted to their limit, the breaths paused since God knows when. "Oh fuck we're gonna die."

There was a rhythmic pulse beating four times a second while the camera kept shifting- and vibrating a little- between two windows. Out of one window one could see those bulky dudes in attention standing at one door each, not shifting even a muscle while other aliens went about their business. The other window showed the lean guy standing with another alien that was bulkier in the middle. The lean one turned to the window at the rigorous tapping coming from the window.

"Calm down, Lulu," a soothing but tired voice came from out of the frame, making the little one turn towards Loki's figure sitting in what looked like a white chair beside an oval-shaped white table floating in the air, "they're not going to let us out. Not yet at least."

Lulu, who had paused to listen to the God suddenly found himself whimpering till its outright wails were catching everyone's attention outside the room.

"No, n-Lulu stop crying, Lu-" Loki got up from the chair and came to stand beside Lulu in two strides, picking the furry lump in both his hands while keeping his head away from those deafening wails. Slowly but surely, Loki brought the hysterical little lump to his chest, mostly to suppress the noise and wave uncomfortably at the judgmental eyes in his direction. At one point the fly camera-that had sneaked in with events yet unknown- caught an expression on Loki's face that reflected nothing but murder in his eyes. But the very next moment he sighed and brought his hands to stroke the frightened ball of fluff. "Hey, hey, hey," he shushed him, his hands being gentle and his expressions turning soft, "it's okay. It's completely fine. You're fine," he hummed, almost singing it while bouncing the little sobbing and hiccuping floof in his arms, "I'm in here too, aren't I? Right? You are not alone. You are not alone. We'll get out of here together as soon as we know who is behind all this mess, okay?"

The little furball sniffed and wiped his snot off on Loki's shirt. "You didn't have to do that," Loki pointed out with no real purpose to the already made mess. But Lulu was quiet now, possibly looking up at Loki and chirping something only the God understood and chuckled. "Yes-" he stroked Lulu's head- "she'll be fine without us. Once she stops panicking. Yes, yes, you're with me."

Lulu, chirped again, protruding his paw to carefully touch Loki's cheek and chirp some more. Whatever the little one had said, brought the God to a standstill, that tiny smile on his face frozen while his eyes seemed to have travelled somewhere far. "I wish that was true a few years in the past. How different some things would have been."

Lulu tilted his head in confusion while Loki seemed to be visiting certain memories that the camera on Lulu and others around them was not aware of. And all emotion in both these loveable creatures seemed to have been broken by a recognisable voice- so low and seemingly far away- somewhere in their vicinity. Lulu was the first to turn towards the window to the view of the lean guy, jumping at the sight.

And then Loki saw you standing right next to the alien who had arrested him, all colour from his face draining as he watched you flail your hands in some untethered rage right into the expressionless alien standing in front of you out of courtesy.

"Oh...oh no." Loki's face was completely opposite to whatever it is you were going through. Lulu was shifting his gaze between him and you, bouncing in Loki's arms with unadulterated joy. Javier was standing between the two of you with his camera- filming even in the midst of all the chaos.

Before he could compose himself, you were already walking towards him, the alien opening the door for you, letting you inside the room and closing it.

"Hey," your delighted and relieved face greeted Loki, "you guys okay?"

Lulu squirmed and chirped with joy, jumping straight into your arms to bonk his head with your face and rub himself all over you. Loki, on the other hand, stood there like he was seeing a ghost. "What are you doing here? You are not supposed to be here. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Oh neither did you, Loki," you were quick to point out.

Loki: *inhales* *put his palms together and brings them close to his face* *bends his hands towards the camera* Woman!

"You don't know what I or have not done so don't act like you know what you're doing, kitten," Loki pointed out rather harshly, forcing an offended gasp out of you, "you were supposed to be out there."

Your delight slowly seemed to be turning to an ember of rage. "Oh, I am sorry that tried to use my working brain to help you out in any way I can, your highness! If you wanted to spend more time in this weird jail you should have let me know when these big butts carried you off!"

"This does not concern you so stop," Loki did not let you finish. "Undo whatever it is you did. This is far more dangerous than you can stomach so off you go."

You scoffed and mocked him. "This is fir mir dingiris- well bad news it can't be undone because they think I'm your ride or die."

Loki was basically slapping himself on his face when trying to rub off the tension- along with his skin. "Wh-ha-hyy would they think that?! WHY?"

A whistle blew from behind the camera and Loki instantly caught it; along with catching your arms going across your chest while you tried to look anywhere but in the God's direction.

"Y/N," that soft but threatening growl was enough to crumble all the restraint you came undone faster than a horny teenage boy. "It's no big deal I just told them I'm your wife."

The camera timed the perfect zoom on that face that lost a couple of hundred years as it heard that sentence.

On Earth

"It's no big deal I just told them I'm your wife."

A shrill 'Oh my Gaaaahd' left Scott's lungs while the soda bottle in his hand crushed and burst everywhere. A shriller wail left Peter as he threw his hands at his face in the utter disbelief and fell on the ground. A cushion blew up in the tight grasp of Bucky's hands, making feathers fly everywhere, and Sam stood up with one fist on his mouth and the other pointing at the screen, howling like a mad fan. Pepper watched with insane delight in her eyes while slapping the thighs next to hers that belonged to her husband who sat there looking at the screen with narrowed eyes as if he had seen something wrong- like a glitch maybe. Natasha was the only one maintaining her composure while sipping on her margarita and looking at the camera form under her lashes.

Scott & Peter: *do a whole routine with their hands in unison* I sayyyy Y/N and Loki sittin' in a tree!!! Fake M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E!!!!!

Tony: *confused* Wife?

Vision: I don't get why Scott and Peter are so excited. *looks to his right* Why are they...

*camera pans out to show Wanda barely containing her excitement in her pressed lips*

Wanda: beeeecause they might have a ship, Vis. *looks at the camera and smile a wide toothy smile*

Vision: *tilts his head* but there's no way they could ride a ship in this facility Wanda

Tony: *still confused but in a different position* Wife??

Steve: *blinks* I guess....that's a good...strategy? *frowns* I mean...sure. *hears a sniff from outside the frame*

*camera pans out to show stone-faced Bucky sitting next to him*

Bucky: *barely hides his breaking voice* Goo-*clears his throat*-good infiltration strategy.

Steve: *stares worriedly at him* You okay buddy?

Bucky: *crumbles* no~

Tony: *lying flat on the sofa, face down* *raises his head* His wife??!!!

Sam: *hollering* wife wife baby!! *turns to his side and nudges the person sitting next to him* come on get in on the fun!

Clint: *nearly saves his coffee pot from spilling all over him with Sam's nudge*

Sam: *keeps nudging and dancing in his seat* somebody's having some space fun!

Clint: *moves the pot into his other hand to drink it with hollow eyes looking at nothing, in particular,* somebody's gonna die of some fun

Sam: *all smiles for the camera* huh?

Clint: nothin' *looks at the camera zooming in on his stone face*

Tony: *wheeling out from under his car with tools in his hands* HIS WIFE??!!

Rhodey: *guffaws while clapping his hands over his head till he's wheezing* oh-oh my-oh Jesus! Poor Tony. *wipes the tears from his face* I told him karma is a bitch but I never thought it would come to bite him right in his ass!!! *continues to chortle*

Tony: *stops making his green smoothie to topple the jar into the sink and walk out of the screen screaming in groans* HIS WIFE?!! OH MY GOD!!!

Space PD HQ

You haven't felt Loki breathing since you broke the news to him. He has just been standing there staring at you with faint confusion and curiosity, still as a statue.

"Loki-" you poke him- "Loki, say something! Don't just stand there like that! You're scaring me!"

"Y/N," he finally breathed out, his brows still creased, "do you know how many people I've killed?"

You shrugged. "I don't know? A couple? Do you know how many teenage girls I deceived when I was in high school?"

"How many?" He asks with keen interest before snapping himself back to reality. "Wait, what? No. Why would I need to know that?"

You shook your head casually while leaning on the floating table. "I don't know, I thought we were sharing our darkest numbers; like couples need to know these details. Right?"

"By the Norns," Loki groaned into his palms, rubbing his face hard. "Listen-"

The door hissed open and Mr Lean Alien walked in.

"Well, we haven't been introduced properly. My name is Tsuloche."

"Hi, Tsuloche. I'm Y/N," introduced yourself, closing the distance between you and Loki, your arms rubbing on each other.

"Listen, Tsulcohe, there has been a misunderstanding here. She-"

"Yeah, there's been a misunderstanding," your stressed and scoffed, crossing your arms across your chest, "like taking my husband prisoner for no reason at all?"

Tsuloche brought his nimble green- almost as thin and long as twigs- hands together. "Mrs....uhh...Miss Y/N, Loki has killed a lot of people in the past."

You groaned. "Now you sound just like my husband. I know he's killed a lot. And he's clearly suffering for it right now." You turned your head towards Loki, bringing your fingers to softly pinch his cheeks. "My poor baby."

Loki jerked away from your fingers slightly, whispering, "stop."

You didn't. Your fingers still reaching for those cheeks. "Stop it!"

You smiled as he grabbed your hand with his and held it in a good grip. "Okay, now you're just doing it to embarrass me in front of him."

Tsuloche tilted his head at this scene, blinking those translucent eyelids before his cat-like pupils dilated a little. "Do you know he supported Thanos' cause?"

You tried to yank your hand from his grip but Loki wasn't having it. So you turned back to Tsuloche. "Huh? Yeah, I know. He was undercover there to know his plans and stop him when the time came. What else you got?"

Tsuloche stood there blankly, shifting his gaze between you and the God for a good minute, his scarcely dilated pupils going back. "Why would you marry a criminal?! That too the one who tried to destroy your home?!"

You hummed and tried once again to slip your hands from Loki's death grip but failed- though that did not stir the seriousness away from your face at the alien's question. "Well, for the home invasion part, you'll understand if you ever had spiders, lizards and flies in your home."

Now, this confused the alien further but Loki forced out a laugh at your statement.

"I'm not sure I follow."

"Well, Tsuloche. The first time you see a spider or a lizard in your home, you scream and cry and want that monstrosity to be gone from your place. It's worse if they bring their friends over. At one point you form a plan of attack to get those sons of bitches out of your home because they don't pay the rent, do they? But it is later on that you realise that these spiders or lizards were actually what were keeping the flies away. You know, the flies that were contaminating your food and making you sick. The flies that were bringing disease from all corners. The only thing standing between you and death by flies was this one stubborn spider-" you squished Loki's face with your free hand, making him jerk and grab that other hand too- "who nearly killed all my people but didn't."

"As for the getting married part, Tsuloche, if you're married, you know very well the crimes you forgive when you love someone. I mean, have you seen this guy do anything bad since the War? No. That's 'cause he's been enjoying some downtime with me and my fam, getting to know me, marrying me, and now taking me and our little cuddly alien cat on a honeymoon! Ain't that right Lulu?!"

Lulu chirped.

By now those judgmental pupils were a full-blown dilated dorks looking at the two of you.

"Oh and that guy recording us outside is...is...our...videographer. Yes! That's who he is. There's a whole trend on Earth to put your life on the internet and stuff like that. So, he's here to...record everything we do on our honeymoon. Not everything, of course," you concluded a little loud with pressed lips and a nod as you realised the mistake.

"Nice save, dear," Loki chirped with a smirk.

"Shut up."

Those blown out pupils came back to disclose any emotions that last bit might have given away. Tsuloche cleared his throat. "Well, as...good as it all sounds, I am afraid I cannot let the Silvertongue go."

"Silvertongue?" you mentioned under your breath and looked at Loki's lips in amusement.

Loki caught your eyes darting to his tongue wetting his lips, sighing in a faint sense of defeat. "You know it's not silver. Why are you even looking at me like that?"

The camera caught your brow arch with some suggestions best kept to yourself. "Oh. I know," you sang, still looking at those lips, "I was wondering about what all would be...different if it were."

Wanda: *sits wide-eyed and flushed red* Uhh *clears throat* *presses her lips to suppress her smile* *talks softly with a shakey voice* I don't know what *puts one leg over another* *adjusts herself in the seat* what she meant by cat-that! What she meant by that. *turns red*

Loki just furrowed his brows at you uncomfortably before turning back to Tsuloche.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere without my husband, so..." You sat down on the lone chair in the room.

Tsuloche was already composing his wrinkled raisin face. "Very well then. I hope you find this interrogation room to your liking, Miss Y/N because he is not walking out of here for another seventy-two hours-"

The door hissed open to let in one of his subordinates who handed the alien a tiny cuboid-shaped device. One look at the tiny thing and Tsuloche looked back up with his sharp pupils dilating to the max. "Mrs and Mr Loki, you are free to go. The inconvenience is regretted and the department will provide you safe passage on the next shuttle to your destination."

A little surprised by the sudden turn of events neither of you wanted to let go of this opportunity. "And by our destination you mean anywhere we want?" You are eager to know; something that makes Loki's eyes turn to you and carry an expression barely recognisable on that perfect pale face. Some would even say it was a butt-hurt disappointment.

"Destination means the place you were previously travelling to. Your bags have been transported. Now all you need to do is get on it and enjoy the rest of your honeymoon."

Heaving a sigh of relief, Loki let go of your hands but still smacked away the one coming for his cheek again, making you chuckle. "I have very limited knowledge on the feline species but it almost looks like you're happy to set us free, Tsuloche." Loki quirked his brow in agreement with your statement.

"What?!" Tsuloche was a little taken aback, continuously blinking his translucent eyelids to make those starry eyes contract to their predator like gaze. But he couldn't. "Highly mistaken you are, madam. I am definitely not happy to let you resume your honeymoon with your beloved. I am enraged that you will be going away with a criminal and your monstrous little pet somewhere to spend time together. I am-I am definitely offended by the idea of this hardened criminal getting a second chance at life with someone so beautiful as you!"

You squeaked. "Aw! He thinks I'm beautiful!" Loki rolled his eyes and looked at the camera.

Tsuloche: *highly conscious* you want me to say something in that camera? Is this for their honeymoon album? *Eyes dilate* oooh! *looks at the lens* uhh ahem, do not do anything unlawful you two. Space is a dangerous place. And...and *eyes dilate to their maximum capacity* take care. *Exhales* *wipes something off his face* oh dear! That was really hard.

Space Shuttle

The entire shuttle was empty save for your little group. The seats were comfortable and the legroom quite spacious. Securing Lulu in a seat by the window, you sat down next to him, directly facing Loki. Javier sat next to him, recording the view out of the window.

“So, you sent in one of Javi’s camera flies, found a set of rules that said spouses are allowed to meet their other half and just...went with it?”

“I also used the uninet- the universal network- to find out about Tsuloche’s species and intimidated him with a little show of power. So, yeah. I read the rules of Space and this is the second time I saved your ass, Silvertongue," you state matter-of-factly, stretching your legs as much as possible.

"Don't get so cocky, kitten," Loki purred, fastening his seatbelt, "we still have a lot of places to go. You are lucky some people like your cute face."

Your brows went up and head tilted before Loki realised what he had done. "Aw! You think I'm cute!"

Lulu's camera caught Javier signing something to the two of you. "Keep having such petty arguments and aliens will actually believe you're married," you spoke his words out loud.

Both you and Loki looked at each other. "Married? To him?"

"Married? To her?"

The unison was too much on point. But the cackle eroding into the space out of the two of you made it better.

"You're funny," Loki chortled in Javi's direction.

"In your dreams, weirdo," you added. "Can you imagine? Mr and Mrs Silvertongue?" The laughs came out again while it was Javi's turn to look at Lulu's camera.

Avengers Facility

"No, Nat, I don't think he'll go that way. He doesn't belong there, like, mentally speaking," Scott gesticulated with a lot of hand movements.

"I think Scott's right," Wanda added.

"No, come on. He knows it's his birthright. So that would be the most obvious thing to go for. And we know he wasn't really seen as much once all hell broke loose back home, right?" Nat put forward her point of view while sitting on the sofa in her jammies.

"But if it wasn't that way then?" Pietro asked with keen interest. Nat thought about it for a moment and shrugged.

"Then it definitely would have been the latter. I mean, you were practically raised as one. He was raised as one, right?" Bucky asked Steve. The latter nodded.

"But still," Steve contributed, " there was something wrong there, right? Which is why all of those incidents happened. Are we sure he would still go for it even if he wasn't just another kid?"

Now the lounge went silent, thinking all of it through while the camera showed a very disinterested Clint sitting on the dining table to clean his guns, bows and arrows. The expression in his eyes felt like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

The camera swerved to another person standing by the lounge entrance, looking at the whole scene with utmost disorientation. "What's going on?"

Everyone looked up at Tony standing at the door.

"Oh, we were discussing what surname would Loki choose if he and Y/N got married?" Nat casually answered.

"Like, would he go for Loki Odinson or Loki Laufeyson," Peter explained.

The camera zoomed in on Tony's face, which was trying to do it's best to understand what was going on before giving up and just tilting his head and narrowing his eyes at everybody.

"They have been at it for two hours," a defeated voice comes from Clint's corner, who was looking at some distant void while cleaning his weapons.

"This...is a hypothetical situation, right?" Tony made sure. He had to make sure.

It took a second before everyone shrugged, nodded and hummed in agreement. None- except one camera- caught Scott and Peter crossed his fingers behind their back.

"Oh my God, I just got it!" Scott exclaimed out of nowhere with a new realisation on his face. "He doesn't have to think about the surname. It's Y/N who'll be making the choice."

And just like that, the seriousness in the air changed into a shared epiphany and everyone agreed without any vote against that thought.

"You guys are having a lot of fun with this," Tony sang sarcastically with judgement filled in his tone.

"Yeah, what about it?" Pepper called out from her comfy armchair while eating cheeseburgers and sipping soda, looking at Tony for an answer.

Tony, on the other hand, shifted his weight between his legs. "No. Nothing. You have fun, sweetie. Kisses! Muah! Muah! Muah! Please don't kill me in my sleep tonight."

130 notes · View notes

themangledsans0508 · 5 years ago

Text

Pick-up Lines

My friend @traumatatic has given me permission to write another story based on their wonderful comics, check them out!: https://traumatatic.tumblr.com/post/170904809853/happy-valentines-2018-boiiiiii-pick-up-lines-are

Tweek waited outside Craig’s house. The sun was just rising over the mountains, bathing the land in a gentle light. He frequently looked over his shoulder out of habit. The bird’s songs comforted him slightly, helping him keep a grip on reality. He focused on the bird’s serenade, so much so that he failed to hear a door open behind him.

He tried to identify the birds. Chickadee, Blue Jay, Robin-

“Help!” Craig’s voice snapped Tweek out of his thought train. His head whipped around in a panic, looking for the threat. All he saw was Craig standing with a smirk on his face. He took a few steps towards him before turning dramatically and falling.

Tweek instinctively moved to catch him, one of his arms hooking around his shoulder and the other around his waist. His eyes filled with concern. He opened his mouth to talk.

“I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up.” Craig’s eyes smiled at him, unlike Tweek’s own unamused ones. He frowned at him.

“Craig, you scared the shit out of me. I thought something was wrong” he scolded. Craig’s smile never faltered.

“You forgive me, don’t you?” Tweek sighed.

“Yes, of course I do. Now get up before I drop you,” he half-joked. Craig straightened up, moving his arm to be around Tweek’s shoulders.

“Fine then, let’s get going before we’re late for school.” He started walking, Tweek falling into step with him quickly.

Tweek didn’t exactly know why he felt safer at Craig’s house than he did his own, but it was a feeling he enjoyed. Sitting next to his partner, watching Red Racer as Craig flipped through images on his camera’s memory card.

Click, click, click.

A steady sound. Tweek wondered just how many pictures Craig had on that card. It was a lot, and he was fairly sure after watching him tab through a fair amount that a lot of them were of him, and of those were taken while he wasn’t paying attention.

Craig’s eyes darted from the camera to him. He smiled and leaned towards him.

“Are you a camera?” he patted the aforementioned object that was hanging off a strap around his neck. He rested his elbow on the armrest beside him, his eyes focusing on the wall over there.

His photo collection decorated the wall. Six pictures, his favourites he had taken. One was a close up of stripe, his eyes full of curiosity as he approached, all captured in a single frame. Another of his family, his mother and father smiling while Trica and Craig frowned. He was sure that if it hadn’t been Craig’s picture they would all be frowning just because that was their family and they all seldom smiled.

Well, he used to rarely smile. Now he smiled often, or at least often in the time he spent with Tweek. That of course, was the time they spent together, which almost always made him happy.

The last four pictures all had something in common. Tweek was in all four, One by himself, where he was laughing and smiling. He remembered when Craig took that picture. They had been sitting in the park, babysitting Trica and Craig refused to stop cracking jokes. Tweek now figured it was not just because he was feeling silly, but because he wanted to capture Tweek’s laugh in a photo. He had to respect his determination, seeing as Tweek was normally rather camera shy.

Two more were of the pair together, both smiling, and quite frankly looking like an old married couple. In one they were looking forward and actually holding hands off-camera. In the other, their foreheads were pressed together, Tweek’s eye’s closed while Craig’s were open.

The last one was of Tweek and Trica because Craig wanted to capture “the sweet and the sour” and Trica had only agreed because she “wanted to be able to prove that she had known her future brother-in-law when they were kids,” which had gotten her whacked upside the head by Craig.

Tweek inspected the pictures, trying to see what on Earth Craig could be talking about. He couldn’t see anything that he would have in common with a photo collection.

“Argh- what?”

“Because every time I look at you,” he waved his hand towards the collection, “I smile.” Tweek’s cheeks flushed and he put a hand to his cheek.

“Craig, come on, you’re such a dork,” he giggled.

“You love it.”

Tweek’s fingers gracefully moved on the cool smooth keys as he played out a melody. His eyes remained glued on the sheet music in front of him that he had written. He didn’t have long to practice, the talent show was only a few hours away.

Craig, who was supposed to be helping, was doing quite the opposite. He kept tapping the piano, throwing off Tweek’s rhythm. That wasn’t it either, he had draped himself over the back of the piano with his hand hanging over Tweek’s papers. He had quoted three Shakespeare lines over and over and tried to convince Tweek to “paint him like one of his French Craigs,” for whatever that meant.

When those didn’t work, he instead opted to sit next to him and pull him into his lap, then to pepper kisses all over his face and neck. His hair tickled Tweek and he had to put all his effort into focusing on the piano and not on his beloved boyfriend.

Craig finally elected to simply lean against the piano and watch in silence.

For about five minutes.

Then he got that mischievous glint in his eyes, the one that Tweek knew meant he was in trouble.

“I hope it’s no tremble,” he said, “but I’d like to be with you.”

Tweek’s hands flew to the sides of his head and he groaned, slamming his elbows on the keys making a loud clash of sour notes.

“Flirting can wait. The talent show is- nggh- in a few hours Craig!” Tweek scolded. Craig shrugged.

“You’re too pretty. I can’t help myself.” Tweek sighed, defeated.

“Later, loverboy. I have to make up for last time’s show.”

Tweek worked smoothly and efficiently, carefully cutting the carrot under his hand into even slices. His typical shaking gone for the time being, which he was thankful for under the circumstances. He was going to have to cut them even smaller later, but not yet.

Craig was right next to him, stirring the batter for their carrot cake. The coffee shop needed more desserts and Craig had refused to let Tweek make them all by himself. He wasn’t all that into baking, but he was into anything if he did it with Tweek.

Well, that’s what Clyde told Tweek. Craig simply said he didn’t feel like going home yet.

Tweek could sense Craig getting bored, mostly by the fact that he kept hitting their bodies together in between Tweek’s chops. He was very touchy, which Tweek would have never guessed before.

He wasn’t complaining though.

Craig stopped stirring and if Tweek hadn’t been paying attention to his actions he would have caught Craig staring at him. He hit his spoon to the bottom of the mix, watching the batter push out of the way. He glanced at Tweek again and saw him about halfway done a carrot, and on the upswing of the latest slice. He playfully pressed his body against him.

“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.” He flipped his spoon back, flinging some of the batter at the wall.

“Craig, stop,” Tweek giggled. He couldn’t even pretend to be mad. He liked when Craig showed affection, and the fact he was the only person who got to see this side of him.

“I can’t. I have zero impulse control. And even if I did, I wouldn’t want to.”

“It’s right up here,” Craig pointed out, basically dragging Tweek up the mountain. Dusk was setting on their sleepy mountain town on the favourite day of February. Craig had refused to say much about the valentines day surprise, only that it would be special. Now they were climbing up a hill near Stark’s pond, Tweek wearing a backpack and Craig scrambling like a goat.

Tweek’s bag wasn’t heavy, but hiking in a sweatshirt instead of his favorite button-up was kind of restricting, and he was sweating too. Craig was wearing his usual outfit but didn’t seem to be hot at all, maybe cold with how fast he was moving.

Craig finally stopped on a ridge, taking Tweek’s hand and helping him up.

“Here it is.” Craig folded his hands behind his back, looking rather sheepish like he was afraid Tweek wouldn’t like the scene before him.

There was a teal blanket spread out on the ground, with another aquamarine blanket off to the side, presumably in case it got colder than it already was. In the centre was a bundle of roses.

Tweek took a few steps forward, reaching out and gently grabbing the red flowers.

“So, um, do you like it? I mean, I’m not good at this whole dating thing.” Craig rubbed the back of his head, shuffling his feet. Tweek shook his head.

“No, no. Craig, I love it,” Tweek murmured, kneeling down onto the soft fabric. He motioned for Craig to sit next to him, who readily complied. Tweek took his bag off his back and pulled out a bouquet of daffodils, handing them over to Craig.

“I wanted to get you something since I knew you’d get me something. You did last year and the year before. But I knew you didn’t really want anything so I just got you flowers. If you don’t like them I can return them-”

“Tweek, they’re perfect.” Craig kissed his forehead. They sat for hours, talking about things that made them laugh. They watched the sky melt from blue to intertwining shades of red, pink, and purple and saw the flurry of stars litter the sky along with the thin smile of the crescent moon.

Craig leaned back slightly. One of his arms crossed behind Tweek’s while he brought his attention to the stars.

“Right there you can see the big dipper right next to Polaris and the little dipper connected to it.”

“Polaris?”

“The North Star,” Craig explained, “They’re part of bigger constellations that are a lot harder to see. Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, which actually translate directly from Latin as greater bear and lesser bear. They’re part of the Greek myth about Callisto and her son Arcas. We’ll probably learn about it in school soon.”

“How much do you know about space?” Tweek asked.

“More than any teacher at our school,” he boasted. Tweek rolled his eyes.

“Maybe you should teach instead.”

“Trust me, if I could this town we be a hundred times smarter.” Craig pointed up to another pair of constellations. “Right there to the right of Polaris are Cassiopeia and Cepheus, king and queen respectively. Another long Greek story, I can tell you it sometime if you’d like, just not right now. There are other big constellations I want to show you right now though.”

“I’d love to hear it sometime. Maybe another night out like this.” Craig blushed slightly.

“You’re very eager. Definitely a night sometime soon. Okay, back on track. Right there weaving between the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper is Draco, which means the dragon or literally the long serpent in Latin-”

“You know a lot of Latin.”

“Only when it has to do with space. Anyway, Draco is made up of Thuban, Rastaban, and Eltanin.” Craig noticed Tweek’s slightly confused look.

“More stars. It has like, three or four myths about it. If we turn around there should be about five more constellations.” Craig laid on his back, looking behind them. “There’s Orion, the hunter. He’s easy to tell from the three bright stars on his belt. He’s up above Sirius, and the right side of his tunic is marked by Rigel and his shoulder is Betelgeuse. He was a great hunter in Greek mythology, son a Poseidon. Then he got stung by a scorpion and fucking died.” Tweek laughed.

“Wow, that’s sad.”

“I know, right? The lesson is he got killed by a scorpion because he boasted too much but there’s debate about that.”

“Scientists and Astronomers are obsessed with Greek mythology. Even you,” Tweek teased. Craig felt his cheeks heat up.

“Well, it’s cool. And I didn’t name all the stars.” Craig tugged Tweek down next to him so that he would see the view from Craig’s angle.

“How much Greek mythology do you know?” Tweek questioned.

“A lot I guess. Here’s another. Right there connected to Sirius is Canis Major and then to the left and up from that one is Canis Minor, and they were said to have been Orion’s loyal dogs, which is why the three connect almost in a triangle. The Pleadieds are over there, they’re the seven daughters of a nymph Pleione and the Titan Atlas. The last constellation that’s easy to see this time of year is Gemini, the twins, east of Orion’s belt. Their names are Castor and Pollux, which are also the names of the stars that make up their heads. They were said to be twin brothers and one was the son of Zeus but not the other? I don’t know how that works. But during the Trojan war, Castor was killed and Pollux begged his dad to take away his immortality so he could be with his brother and instead Zeus made them constellations.”

“That’s really sweet, actually. Brothers that were best friends. You and Trica could learn a thing or two from them.” Craig clicked his tongue as Tweek giggled quietly.

“Nah, I’d rather be put in the sky with you. Fuck Trica.” Craig pushed himself up to appreciate the swirling dance of the cosmos. Tweek copied his movements, his gaze following Craig’s.

“We have to do this again sometime. It’s beautiful and peaceful,” Tweek breathed, taking in the smell of the outdoors. Craig nodded in agreement.

“If I had a star for every time you brightened my day,” Craig reached his hand up in what looked like an attempt to grab the stars “I’d be holding a galaxy.”

Tweek used one hand to grab Craig’s and his other to pull the strings on Craig’s chullo hat towards him. He cupped Craig’s cheek with one hand and gently kissed him.

“I’m already holding a galaxy.”

66 notes · View notes

snarkysarcasm · 5 years ago

Note

Hi. Golly Prompt: Holly gets stuck in a Groundhog Day loop.

Sorry this took so long, Weedy, but here you go:

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

Holly hit the button on her alarm clock and enjoyed the slight burn as she stretched her muscles. Five o’clock in the morning was an unnecessary time to be awake. It wasn’t that she was a morning person per say but she enjoyed running and the only way to guarantee a run with her crazy schedule was if she got up early enough to do it.

Glancing at her phone she saw a text from her favorite snarky cop.

“Wookiees are less hairy than this guy. And probably smell better. I don’t know what the Superintendent was thinking. If this is the best I can get I should give up men entirely.”

Of course, Gail was complaining about another one of her mother’s set-ups. Holly hated the pleasant way her stomach flipped at the thought of Gail giving up on men. She knew that she was being ridiculous. That she shouldn’t be happy that her friend’s date had turned out to be a fiasco. Gail was straight and it was just a hopeless crush. And she did want Gail to be happy. She did. If going on Elaine-approved dates was the way to it then she would support Gail no matter.

Meanwhile, she’d keep pining away. And running. The running helped.

She had just gotten out of the shower when she saw a new message on her phone. She hated the sinking feeling when the disappointment crashed down that it was only Lisa (who would kill her for thinking such a thing). It really was becoming a hapless crush.

The text was a reminder of the date that Lisa had set up for her that night. See, she wasn’t a completely hopeless lesbian. Just because she was falling hard for Gail didn’t mean she had completely written off her own chances at finding someone else. She pushed away the memory of Lisa coercing her into said date at their last “Whine and Cheese” night.

Still she made a mental note to leave work early enough to give her a chance to wash the smell of the lab off of her.

Heading into work, there was still some snow on the ground so her commute took a little longer than usual. As luck would have it, she walked in to find the object of her affection waiting for her with a coffee.

“Did you lose your phone, Lunchbox?”

Holly felt her pocket. Her phone was there.

Gail followed her motions and arched one of her perfect eyebrows, “You didn’t answer my texts.”

“Oh, sorry, guess I got distracted this morning.”

“Were you exercising?”

The look of disdain was adorable and Holly couldn’t stop herself from chuckling. “You know I do every morning.”

‘Gross.” Gail’s face had Holly’s head shaking with affection. The blonde officer hopped onto Holly’s desk as the pathologist sank into her chair, coffee in hand.

“You know there are better ways to burn calories.”

“So I’ve heard.” Holly muttered into the cup, mostly to herself. A little bit louder than intended for the universe to take note.

“How long has it been, anyway?”

She groaned, “You really should bring me more than coffee if you want to have this conversation at this time in the morning.”

“It’s just a question.”

For Holly, it hardly felt as innocent as Gail made it sound. The last time Gail was “just asking questions” had been at Frank and Noelle’s wedding. As much as Holly may want to, kissing Gail at work in order to shut her up probably wasn’t the best idea. Maybe? No, probably not.

“Was there something else you wanted to talk about that brought you to the groundhog’s lair?”

Gail let out a suffering sigh as she collapsed onto one of the stools and started spinning, “Superintendent Peck has yet another date set up for me. I think as a medical professional you should explain to her the definition of insanity.”

“How is it insanity?”

“You sure you’re a doctor? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

“You do know that Albert Einstein didn’t actually say that? In fact, the first evidence of even a similar quote appeared in a Narcotics Anonymous pamphlet circa 1981. Although, in 1892 Max Nordou-”

“Will you save me from both the history lesson and my mother’s fruitless endeavors?”

Holly really wanted to push Gail to find out why she continued to go on these “dates” if she didn’t think they’d actually amount to anything. She also really wanted to ask her why she didn’t think they would. But the mention of the night reminded her of her own date.

“I can’t.”

“Why not? Didn’t you promise to do no harm?”

Holly contemplated telling Gail about her date that night. About how she had been set up herself. She also wanted to tell Gail about why she had been avoiding dating. But she couldn’t seem to get the words out.

Luckily she was saved from answering when the radio on Gail’s shoulder crackled to life. She listened for a minute before hopping off of Holly’s desk and grabbing her coffee.

“Criminals need to learn to sleep in.”

“I thought crime never sleeps.”

Gail rolled her eyes at the quip but Holly could still see her smile. “Smell ya later, Nerd.”

Holly let out a deep exhale. She hated to see Gail go, but damn she really loved to watch her walk away.

Unfortunately the sound of glass breaking and Rodney shouting a “Sorry, Doc” forced her from her ogling and back to her job. It was going to be a long day.

—

Rushing into the bar, Holly hated how flustered she felt. Trying to salvage the samples during the day had taken longer than she would’ve liked and she had barely had time to change her clothes let alone figure out a place to go. It was how she ended up at the Penny.

Glancing around she didn’t see anyone matching the description of her date for the night. She headed towards the bar. She needed a little liquid courage to steady her nerves.

“Hellooo.”

She wanted to blame it on the shock, but Holly knew that it was just the sight of Gail that had her heart quickening. She tried to fight it but could feel the smile overtake her.

Gail looked at the bartender, “Can you make it two?”

“Hey. I didn’t know you’d be here.” She had chosen the Penny because it was close and she was late. She also thought Gail would’ve been on a Superintendent approved date, not hanging out at the well-known cop bar. That or it was because she was a masochist.

“Yeah, Dov is on a new trivia kick and he’s not going to let us leave until he’s crowned king of the dorks.”

Holly knew that as much as she might protest, Gail really did like her friends. Or she was just really desperate to not go on that blind date. Holly tried not to get her hopes up though.

“Hey why don’t you let me get this one and you can get the next round.”

Gail was already gesturing to the bartender when Holly remembered why she was really there that night.

“Actually, umm I’m meeting someone.”

The reality of her situation had disappointment settling deep in her gut. She knew that she would rather be anywhere, doing anything with Gail than pretty much anyone else. But she also knew that it wasn’t healthy to keep pining the way she was.

“Oh. Sorry.”

It was dark but Holly was pretty sure Gail looked disappointed too. The soft way she apologized cut deeper than it should’ve. Holly probably should’ve just told Gail that morning and saved both of them the awkwardness they were in.

Holly couldn’t stop herself from reaching for Gail’s arm. “Don’t be sorry.”

Gail shrugged and took a sip from her drink, seemingly recovered from the set back, “Is it like someone or someone someone?”

Holly swallowed hard at the way pink lips played with the straw. “I don’t know yet.” She offered.

She vaguely heard the bell over the door, but when she glanced over she saw someone matching the picture Lisa had sent. “Oh.” That was her cue. “Thanks for the drink.”

“No worries.”

As hard as it was, Holly pulled herself away from Gail and plastered a smile on her face. Heading towards her date, Holly greeted the woman with a hug. Maybe it was a little overkill but she needed to get over Gail and this was the way to do it.

So she spent the night laughing a little too loud, she leaned a little too close into each touch, she bought a little too many drinks, and when her date offered to get out of there Holly followed her out a little too quickly. And she most definitely didn’t look back on her way out the door for a little too long.

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

Holly hit the button on her alarm clock. 5am, really was an ungodly hour, but she stretched her muscles anyway. She kind of hated herself. She had had the perfect opportunity to get laid the night before and instead had decided to go home alone. This crush on Gail was ridiculous. It had been a perfectly fine date. Beautiful. Smart. Funny. And yet when Holly had walked her to her front door and had gotten the offer for a nightcap. She balked. God, she was stupid.

Holly glanced at her phone and noticed a text from Gail.

“Wookiees are less hairy than this guy. And probably smell better. I don’t know what the Superintendent was thinking. If this is the best I can get I should give up men entirely.”

What the...Holly reached for her glasses and sat up. She could’ve sworn Gail had sent that message the previous morning. And hadn’t Holly seen her at the bar? Gail hadn’t gone on any dates. She glanced at the date on her phone.

February 2nd.

But that was yesterday. Assuming her phone was broken, she restarted it, and went for her run.

Holly had just gotten out of the shower when she went to check if her phone was fixed. She saw a new message on her phone. It was the same reminder of the date from Lisa. Either her phone was messing with her or she had had the most realistic dream the night before. She opened a browser on her phone, hoping for some clarity, but even Google said it was still Groundhog’s day.

Holly hit the call button.

“Hey sexy.”

“Hey Lis, what’s today’s date?”

“Did you finally fry that big brain of yours with all those nasty chemicals you play with?”

“Just answer my question.”

“It’s February 2nd. But more importantly it’s your date night.”

Holly’s stomach clenched painfully, “Right.”

“You didn’t forget or worse you didn’t get any ideas of cancelling did you?”

“No,” She ran a hand through her hair, “no I just had the weirdest dream last night.”

“Well as much as I’d love to hear about your sex dream about me I have to go, I have an early surgery I need to scrub into. I’ll text you the details for your date. Love you.”

Holly stared at her phone. It had to have been a dream. A realistic dream. Just a really realistic dream.

She was late heading into work, both from her checking the date a thousand times and from the snow making the commute long. But her car, the radio, and her phone continued to claim it was still February 2nd so Holly decided to accept it.

She stopped when she found Gail waiting for her with a coffee.

“Did you lose your phone, Lunchbox? You didn’t answer my texts.” The deja vu was making her head hurt.

“Uh, sorry, it was having some issues this morning.” Or she was. Just a ridiculously realistic dream, Holly reminded herself.

“Were you exercising?”

The look of disdain was just as adorable as she had imagined and Holly let out an awkward chuckle.

“Gross. You know there are better ways to burn calories.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“How long has it been?”

Okay, the similarities were too much to handle.

“Longer than it should’ve been” Holly wanted to kick herself when she realized that she had said the words out loud.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

Gail glanced at her phone let out a suffering sigh as she collapsed onto one of the stools and started spinning, Holly waited but she knew what was coming next.

“Superintendent Peck has yet another date set up for me. I think as a medical professional you should explain to her the definition of insanity.”

Holly played along, “How is it insanity?”

“You sure you’re a doctor? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Funny. Holly was pretty sure she was doing everything over again.

“You do know that Albert Einstein didn’t actually say that? In fact the first evidence of even a similar quote appeared in a Narcotics Anonymous pamphlet circa 1981. Although in 1892 Max Nordou-”

“Will you save me from both the history lesson and my mother’s fruitless endeavors?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not? Didn’t you promise to do no harm?”

Holly didn’t answer and waited for the radio on Gail’s shoulder to crackle to life. Sure enough, she listened for a minute before hopping off of Holly’s stool and grabbing her coffee.

“Criminals need to learn to sleep in.”

Holly nodded, she couldn’t do much else with the knots in her stomach. Deja vu or dream, it didn’t matter this was fucking weird.

The sound of glass breaking and Rodney shouting a “Sorry, Doc” forced her into action. It was already a long day and she wasn’t even done with breakfast yet.

—

Rushing into the bar, Holly was still late from trying to salvage the samples during the day. Glancing around she didn’t see anyone matching the description of her date for the night (or the person she had dreamt). She headed towards the bar.

“Hellooo.”

Holly jumped. She had been hoping that maybe only the first half of the day would’ve been like her dream but no here was Gail, exactly where Holly had imagined she’d be.

Gail looked at the bartender, “Can you make it two?”

“Hey. I didn’t know you’d be here.” Except she did know. Damn her dream had been spot on.

“Yeah, Dov is on a new trivia kick and he’s not going to let us leave until he’s crowned king of the dorks. Hey, why don’t you let me get this one and you can get the next round?”

“Actually, umm I’m meeting someone.”

The disappointment still settled deep in her gut, even knowing that the previous night had only been a dream.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

“Is it like someone or someone someone.”

“I don’t know yet.”

She heard the bell over the door and when she glanced over she saw her date. “Thanks for the drink.”

“No worries.”

Holly went through the motions with a smile on her face. She greeted the woman with a hug, she spent the night laughing a little too loud, she leaned into all the touches, she bought drinks, and when her date offered to get out of there Holly followed her out. But when she glanced back on her way out. Gail was nowhere to be seen.

This time when Holly was offered a nightcap she decided to take the woman up on the offer. How many times did people get a do-over anyway?

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

Holly hit the button on her alarm clock. It was 5am and she stretched her muscles. She kind of hated herself. The sex wasn’t great. It had been a long time and Holly figured she deserved to have a little fun. But when it was over she couldn’t bring herself to stay. She headed back to her own bed more than a little disappointed. She had hoped that sleep would’ve been enough to make her feel better.

Holly glanced at her phone and noticed a text from Gail. Her stomach sank further. Gail. Holly was pretty sure that the blonde copper was a huge reason that she couldn’t enjoy the night before the way she should’ve. She hadn’t been able to get Gail out of her head and it hadn’t been fair to her date. Ugh. She opened the message.

“Wookiees are less hairy than this guy. And probably smell better. I don’t know what the Superintendent was thinking. If this is the best I can get I should give up men entirely.”

Okay, what the fuck? Her dreams could be vivid but this was too weird. Checking the date on her phone, it was definitely still February 2nd. Holly shook her head. A dream within a dream. What were the odds? She scrolled through her phone. There were no messages from Lisa telling her about her date or asking how it went. There was no messages from the woman in question. Nothing else from work or anyone else. No, really, what the actual fuck?

Holly was a little desperate as she looked for anything that said that she was wrong about the date. She even went to the nearest coffee stand to check the morning paper but nope it was still February 2nd. Realizing that she had wasted her morning, Holly went about the motions of heading into work. She purposefully ignored the text message she saw come in from Lisa.

Seeing Gail standing there with coffee made her heart race in a different way than usual.

“Did you-”

“What’s today’s date?”

“I was about to ask if you lost your phone before I was so rudely interrupted but I guess that answers my question.”

“Don’t mess with me, what day is it?”

“It’s February 2nd, Lunchbox. You know, that day of the year that a bunch of losers gather around to get excited about a large squirrel predicting the weather. Really it’s pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype.”

“Yesterday was February 2nd.”

“No, yesterday was February 1st and one of the worst dates to have ever happened. Seriously my mother set a new terrible standard.”

“No, it was February 2nd and I had a date.”

“You told me you had to work late last night. Remember the double homicide in the park on Breadalbane? Seriously how late did you work that you don’t even know what day it is.”

“No that was the day before. Last night I ran into you at the Penny. You were playing trivia with Dov.”

“How’d you know that the king of the dorks was on a trivia kick? I mean he’s there every night but I wasn’t with them last night.”

“But…”

Gail’s radio crackled to life. She listened for a minute. “I have to go but you should really drink that coffee.”

Holly watched her go. She wasn’t sure what was going on. But whatever it was, was fucking nuts. Or she was.

The sound of glass breaking caused her to jump.

“Sorry, Doc”. This day couldn’t get longer if it tried.

---

Holly took her time heading to the bar. She was still distracted trying to figure out how she had managed to experience the same day three times in a row. Once she could blame on her dreams. Twice maybe deja vu. But the entire day had played out exactly as before. Including Lisa setting her up on this date and her having to spend the day cleaning up the broken samples. She was so distracted by her thoughts that she was genuinely surprised when she heard the ….

“Hellooo.”

She couldn’t stop the shock to her system. Maybe it was just being on edge. Or maybe and more likely it was that Holly couldn’t help her body’s reaction to Gail’s proximity.

Gail looked at the bartender, “Can you make it two?”

“Hey.”

“Couldn’t resist trivia night?”

The awkwardness somehow never dissipated no matter how many times she went through having to tell the woman that she wanted to date that she was actually going on a date with someone else. “Actually, umm I’m meeting someone.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

“Is it like someone or someone someone.”

Holly huffed, “I don’t know yet.”

She didn’t even have to look over when she heard the bell. “Thanks for the drink.”

“No worries.”

Maybe third time was the charm and she just didn’t know it. So Holly tried again. She laughed at the same jokes. She leaned into all the touches. She walked her date to her apartment. And knowing exactly what the woman liked, Holly tried to distract herself with mindless sex.

But her brain never turned off and her body definitely wasn’t turned on. She didn’t even bother trying for a real orgasm before she headed home and hoped that this time when she woke, she wouldn’t remember the night.

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

The second her alarm went off, Holly checked her phone. February 2nd. And the same damn text from Gail.

Fuck!

She was definitely reliving the same day. But why? How? This was the kind of thing that happened in movies, not real life. It wasn’t possible to get stuck in a time loop. Well, maybe it was possible. Physics certainly hadn’t disproved it. So maybe it was possible. But if she was stuck in time and getting to the live the day again and again, maybe she should try to enjoy it.

Afterall, she had always wanted a motorcycle.

---

After spending most of the day indulging things she had always wanted. It was time for her date. Even if she was reliving the same day, she didn’t want to deal with Lisa’s wrath. But this time Holly decided to skip the Penny this time. She didn’t want to run into Gail and deal with the disappointment that always seem to come with having to turn down her drink offer. It was such a simple thing but if she kept having to do this day over she must be doing something wrong. Maybe she just wasn’t giving her date enough of a chance to work out.

And the night had gone well. Holly had picked her up and taken her to a fancy dinner across town. She enjoyed riding around the city, even if she secretly wanted someone else with their arms wrapped around her.

But that wasn’t the point of tonight.

She finally pulled up in front of her building.

“Lisa didn’t mention that you rode a motorcycle.”

“Oh, yeah, well I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try new things.”

“Yeah? What other things have you been willing to try?”

It was easy to be confident when you had already had a couple of trial runs.

“How about we go in and I can show you rather than tell you.”

“Lead the way.”

She was halfway to her door when she saw a figure sitting outside her door.

“Gail?”

Holly’s heart was pounding her chest as she watched the blonde scramble to her feet. Even in the dark she could see a slight blush filling pale skin.

“Oh, uh, sorry, I uhh shouldn’t have come.”

“Wait!”

“No, you’re clearly busy, I shouldn’t have just dropped by.”

Holly thought she heard Gail mumble something about being stupid.

“It’s fine. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“No. Uh. Everything’s fine. Just bored and figured you’d be home. But clearly you weren’t and had better things to do so I’m going to let you get back to them.”

She didn’t know what to say but she couldn’t stop from staring even as Gail booked it out of sight. She had almost forgotten she had company until she heard a frustrated sigh beside her.

“So I guess this was the complication Lisa had warned me about.”

“It’s not like -”

“Goodnight Holly.”

With the damage done and Holly having two women walk out on her, she decided to call the day a wash. If she ever needed a do-over, well, this was it.

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

Holly was relieved to wake and see it was still the 2nd. She was a scientist and if there was anything a scientist was good at it was testing a hypothesis.

She spent the better half of the day coming up with her plan. She even called out of work to avoid anything distracting her. And when the time came, she headed over to the Penny with one thing on her mind.

She spotted the table right away and instead of heading to the bar, Holly strode across the room with a different purpose.

‘Hey I didn’t expect to see you…”

Holly cut off Gail’s greeting with her lips. For a moment she felt it. Felt Gail’s lips move against her, press just a little bit harder, but the feeling was brief before she was pulling away.

“Wh-what are you doing, Holly?”

Holly didn’t expect the look of shock and fear on Gail’s face. She watched Gail’s eyes dart around everywhere but to make contact with hers. What had she been thinking? Well she knew what she had been thinking. She had thought that in all the days prior Gail might have been jealous. That she might have been disappointed. That maybe her feelings were for more than just friendship. But clearly it had just been wishful thinking.

“Ummm….uhhh….I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. I should go.”

And she ran. Ran right out of the bar. Ran right home and into her bed. If kissing Gail and finally acting on her feelings wasn’t enough to get her out of this time loop, nothing else would be. She was trapped and worse, she finally knew that her stupid crush was just that. And damn was it crushing.

So much so that she felt like she couldn’t get enough air in her lungs. Panic. She was actually panicking. As her heart thudded hard in her chest, everything felt tight and small. She struggled to take deeper breaths, knowing that there wasn’t much she could do but wait for the feeling of seemingly never-ending-doom to pass.

It took a while but finally the vice grip on her chest loosened. As her breathing calmed, Holly wiped the sweat and tears from her face. She hadn’t had a panic attack since medical school. And she really hoped if she had to live this day again she wouldn’t have to experience that part of it.

She was still struggling with pins and needles crawling against her skin when there was a knock on her door. She tried to ignore it at first but then it got more persistent. She did her best to compose herself before opening the door a crack.

“Gail?” She opened it more, “What are you doing here?”

Gail didn’t say a word as she crossed the threshold of Holly’s home and crashed right into her. This time the shock to her system was even more than the panic that had rocked her before when she finally registered that Gail was kissing her. But unlike at the bar, Holly seized the moment, pulling the blonde against her and kissing her back with everything she had to offer.

The first brush of her tongue into Gail’s mouth had the blonde moaning and Holly could feel herself already getting wet at the sound. She let herself get pushed against a wall. Her head thudded hard and for a second she saw stars, but she was more than happy to let Gail have what she wanted. But it did remind her that things were moving and moving fast if the way Gail’s hands under her shirt (when had they gotten there?) were any indication.

“Wait,” Holly barely got the word out before Gail’s hungry mouth was on hers again. She was starting to cave again.

“Wait.” She panted again, this time she pushed Gail slightly back by the shoulders. The smouldering look in the blue eyes staring at her lips was almost too much. But Holly had to be strong.

“What’s going on, Gail? Why did you come here?”

“To finish what you started.”

Holly felt Gail start to lean in again, but she held firm.

“But you stopped us.”

Finally Gail pulled back, a frustrated sigh leaving swollen lips and the warm hands that had been against her were now running through blonde hair. The cool rush against her skin had Holly questioning her sanity for stopping them in the first place.

“We were in a bar surrounded by everyone I work with. And you surprised me. I didn’t-i didn’t know what to do. But after you left I couldn’t think about anything else but you kissing you again.”

Holly didn’t need to hear much else. She took two tight fistfuls of Gail’s shirt and pulled hard. Gail crashed into her with little resistance, her lips were just as soft as Holly had always imagined but the kisses were anything but soft. It didn’t take long before she felt Gail’s hands against her skin again. They tightened against her sides and the way they burned was driving her insane, she reversed their positions.

As she pressed a thigh between Gail’s legs, Gail finally broke and let out a gasp allowing Holly to move her attention to the pale neck that was stretched against the wall. Her mouth made its way down, nipping and sucking against the previously unblemished skin. She was probably leaving marks but she was too invested in what she was doing to care. And from the sounds Gail was making and the feeling of her hand in Holly’s hair, she figured the blonde didn’t care either.

She started to pull at the hem of Gail’s shirt, “Is this -”

Suddenly the shirt was being tossed across the room and her own shirt was being pulled over her head.

Gail looked at her seriously, “Don’t stop.”

The command sent a thrill down her spine and Holly didn’t waste any more time. They were both clumsy as Holly tried to maneuver them to her bedroom without them tripping over one another. It seemed that neither one wanted their lips to part for more than a few seconds.

After what felt like an eternity, Holly finally tumbled onto the bed pulling Gail with her. But being on the bottom wouldn’t do. At least not at first. Holly had wanted and waited for too long. She needed to have Gail all to herself. To feel her shaking under her mouth and hands. All her years of sporting can in handy as she easily flipped their positions. Gail looked surprised at first but as Holly reached for the button of her jeans, her attention shifted towards trying to shed the skinny pants as quickly as possible.

“Yours too.”

Holly hated to separate herself but was also more than happy to have as much skin as possible to press against the porcelain body in her bed. It all felt like a dream. Something that was too good to be true.

“I thought I told you not to stop,” Gail’s voice was a low growl, it held no real chastisement but a hunger for more.

“Who’s stopping?”

Holly pressed her whole body against Gail’s, their mouths meeting in an almost lazy kiss, like they had all the time in the world. Maybe they did. If Holly had learned anything from the last few days, it was that time was a relative concept.

“I want to taste you.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” Gail asked, her legs spreading wider, inviting Holly in.

She wasn’t waiting. Not anymore. Holly made her way down. Taking her time to truly worship what she had been given. A gift that she wasn’t sure she’d ever have. But Gail seemed to have other plans, pushing Holly lower, faster. She wanted her too and she wanted her now it seemed.

Who was Holly to deny Gail anything? She parted pink lips and took a second to enjoy the sight of Gail wet and swollen and waiting for her before she dipped her tongue in. The slight tangy against her taste buds was everything and she savored it before she went to work. She dipped her tongue in deeper to warmth before sliding up to Gail’s clit. She started with a wide circle, heading back down to press into her before moving up again and again. Each time, the circle getting tighter.

She could feel Gail moving against her mouth, her hips rising and pushing against Holly harder and harder every time her tongue moved to her entrance. She could feel Gail getting more and more wound up.

“Hooooollllllly” Gail whined.

As much fun as she was having, she also wanted to make Gail cum. She wanted her to cum hard.

So she moved her hand up to take over, circling her clit again and again and her tongue pumped into Gail, deeper and deeper.

“Fuck, jesus fuck, yes, Holly,” Each of Gail’s cries, made Holly want to keep going, her tongue and fingers speeding up until finally Gail was tightening against her hand and her cries went silent as her orgasm overtook her.

Holly brought her down slower, she wanted to push for more but there would be time and she didn’t want to overwhelm the blonde. Gail was already whimpering and she felt Gail’s hands weakly pulling her back up.

“Hey.” Gail’s voice was almost shy.

Holly pressed a gentle kiss to a flushed cheek. “Hey.” She settled herself more comfortably.

“Hey.”

“You said that already”

“You know, it sounded familiar.” Gail’s voice was quiet and the words came out slowly.

Holly laughed as her hands traced lightly along Gail’s muscles. She could feel her own eyes getting heavier too.

She felt Gail’s hand sliding lower on her waist. As much as she wanted to be touched, she just wanted this too. Wanted to hold Gail and fall asleep with her beside her. So she caught her hand and pulled her closer. “Later.” And Holly drifted off into a peaceful sleep with the woman she wanted wrapped in her arms. Maybe living in a time loop wasn’t the worst thing. It had given her enough chances to finally do something right.

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

When her alarm went off, Holly was painfully aware of how empty her bed was. She grabbed her phone. February 2nd.

“God fucking damn it!”

She threw her phone across the room. Tears were already blurring her vision as she pressed them hard with the heels of her hands. How? How could she have everything she wanted and the day still not change? Why would the universe show her what she could have and take it away like that? What was she doing wrong?

---

Rushing into the police department, Holly wasn’t sure if she was making an even bigger mistake but she had to try. Well even if she was wrong, she’d probably have to do this all over again tomorrow anyway. She was glancing around the busy hallways, when she heard the voice she was looking for behind her.

“Holly, hey, what are you doing here?”

Oh right, Gail had no idea why Holly would be desperately seeking her out before they’d even had their morning coffees.

“I had to drop off a report on a murder from a few weeks ago.”

“Doesn’t the courier usually bring that stuff over.”

“Ummm, yeah, he was sick...or something.” Holly mumbled. She could barely look at Gail but it was clear that the blonde didn’t believe her.

“Hey, come here.” Holly pulled Gail into the nearest room.

“What’s going on?”

“Listen, I know that this is going to sound crazy but I have to tell you this. Because we tell each stuff. And that’s what’s so great about us. But I keep reliving today. This day. February 2nd. I know what’s going to happen tonight, this afternoon, I know what’s going to happen in the next hour, because I’ve already been here and done it. I know that I’m going to meet a great woman on a stupid set-up tonight and that even when everything goes perfectly that I’m still going to be thinking about you and wishing it was you with me instead. Because no matter what happens she isn’t you. I don’t know why it keeps happening and why I can’t move on. But the one thing that I do know is that I’d live this day a thousand times because the only thing that matters is that I get to spend it with you. Whatever happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I’m happy as long as I’m with you.” Holly’s words were tumbling out faster and faster but she had to say them, even as Gail just looked at her intently. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you all this, it’s too much, I just -”

Holly was finally cut off by Gail’s lips in a kiss that melted her in a way that none of the previous encounters had.

Gail pulled back, still holding Holly’s face. “I’m sorry. You just, you just had to stop talking.”

“I won’t say another word.”

They stayed like that for a while. In their little bubble, with soft kisses and just enjoying the moment. When it was time for Gail to go back to work, she hovered by the door.

“I don;t know that I believe you’re stuck on a time loop but how about tonight, we both skip our set-ups and you take me to dinner instead.”

“Sound perfect.”

---

It was a perfect night. They talked and laughed and there were plenty of kisses. Gail decided to stay the night in borrowed pajamas curled up beside Holly. For once, Holly wasn’t filled with dread. Even if there was no tomorrow, she’d give anything to keep having days like today.

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

Holly hit the button on her alarm clock but didn’t open her eyes. Not yet.

“Who sets an alarm this early in the damn morning?” A grumpy voice beside her gumbled.

Her eyes flew open, Gail was still there in the clothes she had given her the night before. She grabbed her phone. No new messages. She looked at the date.

February 3rd.

“Sorry, you’re right. Go back to sleep. There’s no rush. We have all day.”

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cinaed · 4 years ago

Text

Red vs Blue Season 3 Rewatch

Slowly making my way through my DVD collection of Red vs Blue!

"You can't die! I'm bored!" Donut is so ruthless in the earlier seasons and I love it.

We really needed more Tex and Sheila girltime, talking about gender inequality and workplace harassment.

Simmons actually calling himself Simmons 2.0 manages to be both hilarious and sad.

Yes, Sarge and Caboose team up! Season 3 has some of my favorite odd couples, and Sarge and Caboose is one of my favorites. Sarge being furious that Doc has a higher body count than he does, Caboose's dedication to nap time.

I love Caboose's moral boost! He's great at compliments even if Sarge doesn't appreciate them.

I know these zealots were like a mostly one-off joke, but also like...they could be a creepy potential experiment in making soldiers that can't die, which I wouldn't put past anyone in the Halo universe.

I love the blame game of who came up with the plan that ended up with everyone scattered across the galaxy. Sarge: "My only choice is to blame Grif, for coming up with such a flawed plan. Stupid, stupid Grif." Grif: "I should have never listened to Donut's stupid fucking plan."

Church and Grif in jail is one of my all-time favorite things.

Simmons is such a tech savvy guy, reworking the teleporters to make them communication devices as well! He just wants some love and support.

Caboose getting angry. I mean, who wouldn't get angry at kittens with spikes that you couldn't cuddle?

"Simmons, you get an F in efficiency. But I have to give you an A+ in dramatic timing."

I do love O'Malley and Doc's dynamic. The Do Not Call list!

I love Tex's half-truths about the Freelancers.

Also love Sarge calling Caboose a little rascal and Simmons just seething with jealousy. And he's also jealous about Donut!

Church: There's no "I" in team, Grif. Grif: Yeah, there's no "U" either. So I guess if I'm not on the team, and you're not on the team, nobody's on the God damn team. The team sucks!

I may or may not quote that to myself on a weekly basis.

Again, just Church and Grif together in that prison cell is sheer perfection. As is Church going "Wait, the people outside sound like they're winning, that can't be our teams."

Tucker likes Sheila so much! And she packed them food! Well, the AI equivalent of food, but it's the thought that counts! Just the sheer affection in Tucker's voice as he promises her they'll be back gave me emotions.

And another good moment of Simmons being the one to suggest they track down Grif, because no one else was going to.

In retrospect, Grif has clearly watched some prison pornos. Like... Buddy.

Wyoming calling Tex Allison has so many interesting implications.

Simmons re-engineers stuff, Sarge makes a weather control device. Where's the AU where Sarge is a mad scientist.

Simmons asking Grif if he's okay after prison. Just loving the slow build of friendship between them.

Also big parallels of Church's "Misery loves company" and his willingness to let the bomb blow them all up together to later seasons stuff.

I still love that everyone's go-to explanation for stuff is "time travel."

Donut is too thin-skinned about criticism for his play. He'd never survive on Broadway, lol. But I love everything about the time travel show.

How is Tucker the smartest person in this group? But also Tucker being so worried about Church. I am having a lot of Tucker feelings this season.

I love Grif's devotion to cheesy disaster movies.

Caboose: Look what I found. Donut: I found it! Caboose: Look at what I took credit for finding.

Poor Donut! A grenade to the head and now his hand got chopped up.

Grif: Hey, what're you doing? Simmons: What does it look like I'm doing, I'm getting in the jeep. Grif: What're we, on a date? Get in the back. Simmons: Oh you're so insecure.

I would've watched an entire season of Doc and O'Malley and Lopez's Lair Improvements. And when Doc mentions a real estate agent all I can think of is an AU where Doc meets Kai because she's running her business on the side while in the military. But also Doc's motivational powers in the living room, O'Malley's belief that the cat won't hang on until Friday, it's great.

The iconic jeep conversation is still good now as it was back then. Re-enacting Dukes of Hazzard! "I can tell you what we weren't doing."

Grif's mind immediately going to gay stuff as a favor from Tex. Between this and his prison conversation with Church, someone is protesting way too much.

Sarge's plans are so amazingly terrible. I love them.

Grif getting choked up over hating Blue Team and Tucker and missing the days where they all just stood around and talked a lot.

Tex sounding genuinely concerned when Tucker falls into the hall. Luckily he gets a cool sword out of it!

Tex's conversation with Simmons about shooting Lopez's head is a great example of an eloquent helmet look. Tex doesn't even say a word and you can feel the disbelief and rage when Simmons implies she may have missed.

Church: Caboose, I know you're there. I'm leaving this message from two thousand years in the past. Whatever you do, don't, touch, anything. Apparently you're this culture's version of the apocalypse. You're going to destroy this building, and somehow bring about doom for their entire race. Caboose: Mmmmmmnooo... that doesn't sound like me. I like people. And buildings also.

Time for some actual time travel or at least a simulation. But I do love Butch Flowers, haha. Whose greatest enemy is apathy! Love watching Church just make his own life worse. Also love the bit about Sheila having been made in Mexico.

"Man... First I kill myself, then I realise I'm a honkin' dork. Not a very good day to be me."

Church: I learned a very valuable lesson in my travels, Tucker. No matter how bad things might seem- Caboose: They could be worse. Church: Nope, no matter how bad they seem, they can't be any better, and they can't be any worse, because that's the way things fucking are, and you better get used to it Nancy. Quit yer bitching.

Grif and Simmons and Sarge talking about the Blues, and Simmons saying he's not looking for friends and doesn't like his current crop AKA he just accidentally admitted Grif is his friend. Grif just didn't realize it.

Between the warthog and monkeying about discussions, Church and Grif really are on the same wavelength.

I love the scheming versus plotting conversation.

Ugh, the arrival of Andy. I hate him so much.

Haha, Simmons lying about his math skills is great.

Uuuugh, Andy. :/ Freckles is SUCH a step up as Caboose's AI murder buddy.

"Do we really have to seize destiny? Can't we just invite it to join our online circle of friends?"

I love Lopez's little rebellion-- he might be under O'Malley's control, but he's also going to sabotage O'Malley as much as possible. And tricking O'Malley into insulting himself in Spanish.

I really forgot that Tex straight up tried to steal Tucker's sword.

Military law is very clear in regard to the "not it" methodology for making decisions. Sorry, Donut.

I forgot that Donut can speak Spanish. In fairness, so did the show.

Hello, Crunchbite!

Next up, the PSAs!

Some of these have aged poorly... Like, uh, jokes about 2004 politics do not land well in 2020. And uh jokes about colds and flus. ...Okay, the Christmas PSA where Church destroys the Reds' Christmas tree, tells Caboose the truth about Santa Claus, gives everyone knock-off coal, convinces Church that Santa is now wearing blue and working only for the Blues, and scams Tucker out of a $350 gift is pretty funny though.

I enjoyed Burnie playing himself in the outtakes by putting words he can't pronounce in his own script. And Grif singing Happy Birthday to Church in prison. Also poor Geoff being told to adlib and immediately having Grif start to tell Church "You're looking buff, man, have you been working--" and being immediately booed by everyone, and someone says they'll use it for an outtake and Geoff is like "It's funny! And I didn't even get to finish!" And everyone trying to figure out Tucker's sword and him accidentally killing everyone in various outtakes. And in the deleted scenes Tex keeps making fun of O'Malley's plans to rule the universe, haha. Also the deleted scene that's just another Simmons' self-insert fanfiction, just as a video instead of a fake game in the Fan Guide.

It also gave us character profiles! I'm sure a lot of this has since been contradicted in canon, but interesting that we got specific hometowns for a few people: Donut in Leggatt Plains, Iowa, which doesn't seem to be a real place; Moscow, Iowa for Sarge, which actually does; Tucker's from Detroit, and Delta Commune for Doc. Oh, is this where we get Caboose grew up on the moon, with his hometown being labeled as Low G Colony, Moon? And hey, I always had him be a middle child, I like that this one did too. Tex likes money and scars and dislikes Donut. Okay I know that's definitely not real, but the idea of Allison growing up in an orphanage hurts me a little. Okay, and I know for sure that Simmons would die of happiness at the fact that Sarge's likes are battles, fringe science, and Simmons. Lopez likes oil and unions, and hates capitalism. My kind of guy. Last but not least, I actually really like Simmons as the son of a bunch of right-hand stooges (who probably wanted power for themselves).

#Red vs Blue #rvb rewatch #long post

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olivcrfm · 5 years ago

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hello! this is my stupid naive child with a heart of gold oliver ! i’m very excited to about him, so pls give me all of your affection & plots 🥺 i wrote like a whole novel under the cut because i had this man for like a year now, so please bare with me

chicago’s very own oliver park-davies has been spotted on madison avenue driving a maroon jeep wrangler , welcome ! your resemblance to charles melton is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty fourth birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re withdrawn, but being empathetic might help you . i think being a cancer explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be lazy mornings in bed, getting the job done at the last minute, & a soft voice . ( i stole the test answers for my college finals to impress my parents ) & ( cis male & he/him) + ( hailey , 19 , she/her, cst)

— “ basics ! ’ 〉

full name. oliver park-davies.

nicknames. oli, ollie, park, davies obviously lmao.

age. twenty-four.

date of birth. june 26.

occupation. singer/songwriter.

sexual orientation. bisexual.

birthplace. new york.

zodiac. cancer.

spoken languages. fluent in too many languages thank you.

— “ backstory! ’ 〉

oliver park-davies was born in chicago to two extremely loving parents, and his seven other siblings of which he was the oldest, they were this gigantic loving family, and everybody wanted to be like them

okay well when i say loving i mean that’s how they appeared on the outside, his family was very broken, his parents constantly on the edge of divorce, him and his siblings didn’t get along at all, and in the park-davies house there was always something to argue about

the park-davies were billionaires, this was due to their extremely successful business endeavors, and knew when and where to invest their money they had enough money to buy whatever they wanted whenever they wanted, they never looked at the price tag, to quote ariana grande, “they want it, they got it.” their business headquarters is in texas! and oliver’s parents constantly just left him n his siblings in chicago while they went to texas

but he spent his summers their and it’s basically home away from home

his parents often tried to basically bribe their kids to love them because they were honestly the worst, they often emotionally abused their children, and neglected them, and the only time that their parents did want anything to do with them is when they needed to make a public appearance

was very much the rich kid that raised by nannies and butlers rather than his actual parents, and in a weird way he sorta became this surrogate parent for his siblings, he was the one they looked up to and came to for advice that sorta thing

oliver,,,just needed something anything to take his mind of it, so immediately he threw himself into studying and books, and to quote matilda, “the books gave him a comforting message...you are not alone.”

his parents ended up figuring out that their son was smart, like hella smart, by 10 he’d mastered latin, and by 11 he was already reading at college level

honestly his love of books got to the point that his room essentially turned into a small library of it’s own, it got to the point where his parents reluctantly gave him his own room to house all of his books

books weren’t the only thing that oliver found his passion for, when he enrolled in his school’s choir, he realized his love for singing

he wanted to share his music with people without having the recognition, so he uploaded a lot of his music to soundcloud under an alias ( vc: conan gray / cavetown i can’t decide yet lmao rip )

he gained a massive following, that not even he expected, which would seem like a great thing if he wasn’t expected by his parents to take on the family business

one day his parents sat him down and he saw it a good a time as ever to tell his parents about the success he hoped to gain from singing, his parents cut him off immediately and told him that his father was suffering from cancer

due to his revelation his parents ostracized him more than they did before, and slowly but surely he began to be iced out, no longer showing up in appearances, and just avoiding any press altogether

as his father got increasingly more sick, oliver began to realize the mistake that he made, and on his death bed oliver promised his father that he would do as both of his parents wished and take over the family business

oliver had the scores to get to any school that he wanted and decided on business school at columbia, where his father was an alumni, the agreement that he had with his mother was that once he graduated he’d begin shadowing his mother to learn to run the company

the school and the city itself was immediately overwhelming to my boy who came from not so humble beginnings in his small town, and he was unsure of where he belonged in this huge school

until!!!!! he found friends!!!! and they made him feel accepted!!! and it was great!!!!

once his friends heard his voice and of his dreams they encouraged him to join the university’s men’s choir, and was prompted by the director to join the university’s theatre department, where he appeared in a overwhelming majority of the school’s plays and musicals

he was discovered one night at this open mic thing he went to and it was great! he was signed to a record deal with a label! and my bby’s dreams were finally coming true!!!

lmao but the one condition that he did have for his label was that he had to graduate school first, and it was accepted

he graduated early! because of course he did only because he stole the test answers because his grades were sorta declining and finals were coming up sooo

his mom was expecting him to come back to texas and maintain the family business, but he pulled a whole uno reverse card, and ended up disappearing from whatever world it is that him mom lived in

he became pretty successful in the music industry, coming from this cool indie artist that only about a few hundred people knew about to this seemingly overnight sensation

my bb is still v e r y unused to the attention, mostly because his parents never gave it to him and he was like, adoration???? attention??? care??? what’s that

has recently started a band! consisting of people he met a columbia, so him, a guy friend, and olivia dkfsjdkj guy friend remains unnamed because it’s a wc

— “ personality / headcanons ! ’ 〉

is a huge dork that just loves to make people smile and when he sees people genuinely happy his heart melts a little bit inside

is very much the shoulder to cry on for people, and even if he doesn’t know you he’ll sit and listen to your whole life story and just try to cheer you up because that’s just in his nature?

has started his acting career! first it was just cute small little cameos in movies and tv shows, but now it’s turned into him getting his own show!!! he couldn’t be more excited tbh

remember how i said that he’d sit and listen to a stranger cry? if he shows even the slightest bit of emotion that isn’t happiness he starts malfunctioning and just trying to make the people around him happy

he’s honestly probably said, “alright i have to go back to being funny again.” to himself so many times before??? he’s so broken on the inside but has just put up so many barriers

despite the many walls he has to protect himself from other people, he’s just the nicest purest soul, he treats everyone like his family, and just has the insatiable need to be liked dkkfkdkd, pls be fragile with my boy thanks

ollie is left-handed

loves singing show tunes and has gone to too many shows on broadway????

has a special room for playbills because he likes getting them signed and they’re very important to him

hates talking about his family and will probably cry if you make him bring them up lmao

he’s such a himbo ... just kind , beefy , and stupid

he often just dumbs himself down, not because he thinks he’s better than other or something weird like that, buuuut he feels like people will judge him and make fun of him like others did when he was younger

— “ wanted plots ! ’ 〉

some potential wc i’m terrible at thinking of these so please don’t feel limited by this list!

best friends!!!!

roommates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! think this, this, this, this

guys he can hang out with sdksdflfkj idk a close knit group i’m thinking of ross, chandler, and joey or smth he’d be joey obvi

romantic plots can fuck me up any day of the week

i’m a slut for a good exes plot

unrequited crush, it can be that he has feelings for someone way out of his league, or someone has a crush on him and he’s just oblivious

someone who broke his heart n inspired his music

band members!!!! would’ve had to attended columbia

someone who he’s a good influence on

bad influence, he’s too good corrupt him do it cowards

former / current hookups

ex friends

straight up enemies

smth like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen

#wealthyhq:intro #please love him #i have had him for like a year now #and i am so excited to play him again #abuse mention #cancer tw

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m00nslippers · 6 years ago

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Jason is a clever bitch and I love him, in RHATO Issue #32

Okay now we’re finally moving Jason closer to the Winick version that I think is most people’s favorite Red hood--it’s not there yet, but we’re seeing the hints. The cleverness, the charm, the unrepentant sass. Oh yes, we are going places, I like what I see.

Let’s dive in here.

Whoever made that post about Jason not even needing a cover story about being dead to revive his identity was kind of prophetic because here his cover is basically, “So I wasn’t actually dead. no more details, that’s it.” Which is pretty dang close.

And I’m not sure how he managed any of this without Bruce or Alfred finding out but that is damn impressive. We know they didn’t know because we see Alfred’s reaction shot to seeing him on TV. If we don’t see him interact with a few of the other Gotham vigilantes, (or at least see a reaction shot of them all like, “What!? Jason?! The guy we had to physically blackmail to attend galas is running a casino with parties every night? That Jason?!) at some point I’m going to be pretty disappointed, to be honest.

Also, as we already knew from the solicitations and previews, Jason is taking over the Iceburg lounge and looking fancy while he does it. I love it. Jason can put on an act with the best of the batboys. Look at this well dressed man! And his hair! He has hair again, praise the Lord, hallelujah!

Completely unrelated note, that reporter has some really fancy cuff earrings or something and I’m jealous.

I’m validated for noticing Suzie Su was behind Jason in the previews. She and her sisters are part of his crew basically. It’s actually nice to see villains/characters return, too often they are just one-shot or one-note baddies but Suzie has been there since New 52 RHATO and she got a bit of humanization in the Annual when we meet her sisters. She’s not just some creepy fat lady that creeps on Jason, she’s a big sister who is trying to do her best for her family and I like that Jason acknowledges that and brings her and her family in on his scheme and even gets them out of the crime business sort-of by giving them mostly legit employment.

The way he has a bunch of ladies following him around kind of reminds me of Dick with the girls from St. Hadrian's a little bit. But they were all super into Dick and these girls don’t seem interested in Jason at all except as like a boss, which I like.

Jason, this is the kind of thing you should ask about! Ugggghh ~

Wingman looked older in the last page of the previous issue for some reason, maybe he’s died his hair or something. So we still don’t know what’s going on with him. I was hoping we’d get something, a hint but we’ve literally got nothing to go on here. I honestly think he has some kind of direct relation to Jason. Either he’s his dad’s mind in a different inmates body, or maybe a lost cousin or brother or something, or has something to do with the future like he came from there. It’s got to be one of those things, nothing else makes sense that I can think of.

LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL BOY! JUST LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT THOSE EYELASHES AND BLUE EYES AND THAT SMILE.

Anyone would be charmed. I think Jason is too much of an introvert to like this kind of public job exactly, but I also think he’d be good at it. Dick might be better, because he’s just a natural extrovert, but Jason is still up there. He’s a good actor, and he really cares about people so he’d take care of those he’s in charge of. Jason would be a good boss.

“Started from the bottom now we’re here,” that’s a Drake lyric.

Could these guys be bigger dorks?

Notice that Jason didn’t kill the guys that were causing trouble, he had Miggs (his nickname for Miguel) roll them off to the docks in a ball made with his powers and those dorks were totally right, the room he made was pretty gucci. You got taste, Miguel.These weren’t necessarily real bad guys, they were just punks, and Jason might be killing again but he doesn’t just kill any idiot that gets in his way or causes trouble.

Also, technically they might have been right about Night cheating, we don’t actually know how ‘legit’ the Su sisters are playing things.

I’m sort of torn on the way the colorist is depicting Miguel’s powers, like I miss the glowiness a little bit from New 52 Teen Titans. These look a little too much like normal bricks? But technically that might be better for Miguel, they can pass as normal bricks instead of a power when they have to. They looked clear or white before when the guys walked in there so maybe he can control their color/transparency and glowiness? I still would like to see them look glowy though.

A few things about Miguel: I think these panels illustrated pretty well what their dynamic is supposed to be. I know Jason called Bizarro his ‘friend’ but let’s be honest here, Bizarro isn’t Jason’s friend--he’s his little brother.

Jason compares Miguel to Bizarro and I think that’s key, he sees Miguel as like a little brother that he wants to help. He’s got powers that he doesn’t understand and people keep coming after him for them. I think with Miguel and Tim it was closer to a friendship of equals at least as far as Miguel saw. He admired and respected Tim as a leader and how he always seemed to know what to do, but in the end Miguel was older than Tim, he didn’t feel like he could completely lean on him. It looks like Miguel may have latched on to Jason in that way, since he has the bat-authority too and actually is older than him and a genuinely caring guy. And look at my boy Jason! He comforts and accepts him immediately, it’s so sweat.

Goddamn it, Jason is a good older brother! He’s the best freaking older brother, damn Bruce and the whole family’s bat-morals, man! You’re all missing this! He could have this with Tim and Damian and Duke and even Steph and Cass! He would love that! He would be so good at that! It’s a goddamn tragedy, is what it is.

Also it’s interesting how Miguel acknowledges the reboots, so are his powers related to reality-warping or something so he can sense it? Or it could just be more of this suggestion that a lot of people in the DC universe right now have memories from the previous continuity, so like it all kind of happened even if it technically didn’t type of thing. I kind of thought Miguel’s powers were energy projections made with his mind, like psionically, but maybe they are literally creating matter or something? I don’t know. I really need to read more New 52 Teen Titans to understand him and his powers.

And that line, “A loaded weapon in the hands of a confused teenager. What could go wrong?”

Wow, Jason, you really went there. Referenced you’re own crazy head-state when you went after Bruce in Under the Hood.

Jason is so self-deprecating, you guys.

“When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer. “ This is apparently a quote from Die Hard, because of course it is. Jason is literally Jake Peralta from Brooklyn 99 confirmed.

Ugh, Lobdell’s version of Bruce is just such an asshole!

First of all, Jason hasn’t ‘betrayed him’ not even once, he was emotionally compromised and broke their agreement because he was acting on those feelings. He made a mistake. And Bruce cared more about his rules than Jason’s intentions or feelings or any of the good will they’d fostered in the last year or two. He acts like Jason sold him out or lied to him, when he never did any of those things.

Also, I don’t think saying, “stay out of Gotham and never come back or I’ll throw down and toss you in Arkham” is another chance, okay? It’s not like Jason got anything out of that deal, it was just Bruce not wanting to go through the trouble of hunting him down outside of Gotham because he straight-up knew that he wouldn’t be able to!

That Pretty Woman reference...

The funny thing is, Jason is more like the character who says that line than Bruce is. Bruce, kicking Jason out of the bat-family, is the one who is making the mistake. He could have had an ally, had say in what Jason did, had some limited control over him if he’d just forgiven him or talked to him at all, but because of his pride now he has none of that.

Now this, this is my shit right here. JASON HAS BRUCE BY THE BALLS. By going public with his identity he’s effectively made himself untouchable by Bruce. He’s got the identity of every Gotham vigilante in his hands, and honestly I really doubt Jason would ever give them up, even out of spite or hatred, he never did before when he could have, (he didn’t tell Hush Bruce’s identity, he just didn’t deny it when Hush figured it out, and we’re not sure if that’s even canon anymore anyway.) but it’s partly Bruce’s own doubt in Jason that is keeping his hands tied! That and the fact that if even one of his kids is outted as a vigilante it really puts the suspicion on him.

But seriously guys. Smart Jason is what Iive for.

God, Jason calling him dad, but only because he’s ‘playing up the act’ of civilian Jason Todd, has got to hurt Bruce. Assuming Lobdell’s version of Bruce has any actual feelings of affection for Jason, otherwise it probably just grates.

Lol, okay, so the situation seems to be that Jason dropped in to the Iceburg lounge to pay Penguin a visit. Cobblepot went, “Oh no! That damned Red Hood is here, hide me!” Ran into his panic room and locked it and Jason was just like, “Well, isn’t this convenient,” and made it so he couldn’t get back out.

And then presumably gangster-rules applied and Jason just got all his businesses because he said they were his and no one wanted to argue? I guess? Lobdell doesn’t give satisfying explanations, you guys. This is a testament to that.

I’m not going to lie though, this is pretty satisfying.

Alright, so I’m really excited for more you guys. This is not a perfect issue, a lot of things are hand waved, Bruce is acting even more out of character than usual, and we still have no dang clue what’s going on with Wingman, but there are definitely things here I like, and i’m looking forward to more.

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punkinroses · 5 years ago

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Yugioh Season 4 Quotes Prompt Meme

I am stressed, tired, sick of my job and needing a brain break. Yugioh Abridged is my go to for that at the moment. So. Have a sentence meme thing. Feel free to reblog, change pronouns, etc. Go have fun kids. Be wild. Be gay. Do crime. Love you

“The whole saving the world thing really eats into your study time.” “But my teacher gave me, like, a bunch of gold stars! And an A+ in trying.” “I already know everything I need to know about mathematics from playing card games.” “I was also thinking about doing some of the drugs later.” “(name)’s hand is on fire!” “That sounds like a commotion! .......Yes. Definitely a commotion.” “Well, I’m sure the city can defend itself.” “Those neutral motherfuckers. I never cared for them.” “How the hell did you people get in my house!?” “I’m not sure I like the rich douchebag channel.” “We figured you had more of an emotional connection to these.” “Damnit, (name), we agreed I would do the monologuing.” “My spirit guide has once again served its purpose.” “It’ll be called the bitch ass retirement plan. Named after you, ya bitch ass!” “That’s some OP bullshit right there.” “Broseph...Brosephine...Bro DiMaggio.” “I’ve got shoulder pads!” “Now what are you gonna do, Bromeo and Juliet?” “It’s not often I get to hear the worst insult ever coined by a human being.” “Yeah, they once sucked out Channing Tatum’s soul as a joke.” “I have nothing else in my life, please!” “So you’re someone I haven’t seen in a really, really long time? .........Are you my parents??!!” “Stop abusing the concept of friendship!!” “You must have spent YEARS researching this! Even though you can find this exact information on the back of any Yu-Gi-Oh! DVD!” “King of doors, bitch!” “That’s two points for Middle Earth, zero points for (name).” “I was not prepared to watch this today.” “Okay, so, you’re a lost cause.” “If even one of you makes a Sharknado reference, I will end you so hard.” “Try this on for size, you Sauron-looking motherfucker!” “I thought we had an agreement! You agreed to not be a little bitch, but now you’re being a little bitch!” “Maybe they’ll take someone’s soul that we don’t care about this time.” “Goddamnit, you never help me, ever!!” “Alright, douchebags! I’m sick and tired of us not being on top!” “These meetings get fucking weird.” “How much more specific can I get? SOMEWHERE in CALIFORNIA.” “I wonder if there are card games on the moon.” “I knew it. This is just some cheap trick to get me to come see you, so you can hit on me with a bunch of cheap innuendos, isn’t it?” “And, to think, people call you a diluted egomaniac.” “That’s not possible! I’M the adorable one!” “For some reason, cruising for chicks has caused me to become severely injured.” “I would be so turned on if that wasn’t such a huge waste of trading cards.” “I’d like to spread some vegemite on those things.” “You left me on a blimp with a known psychopath, while I was in a coma, so you could go off and play video games.” “So, in other words, since we’ve never seen your balls drop, we can assume it hasn’t happened?” “My douche-senses are telling me that (name) is mocking me somewhere.” “Should I remind you to tell them to go fuck themselves when we get there?” “He will eat you with his crocodile face.” “Okay, did you have to include the part of the story where they insulted me?” “Hey, a sword! I can stab people with this!” “Seriously? That was your one Koala joke?” “Try believing in the heart of the cards.” “Quiet, you sorcerer.” “If you’re seeing this, (name), it either means I’m dead, leaving behind a very fabulous looking corpse, or my soul has been captured.” “Maybe it had something very kinky on it and 4Kids had to censor it.” “I’ll leave that up to the fanfic authors.” “I’ll write a highly unfavorable research paper about you! With inconclusive findings!” “I feel like I should be concerned, but I just can’t stop thinking about how Copernicus is such a stupid name for a horse.” “You know that thing takes people’s souls and I found it on a dead guy, right?” “That was acting, children! Bravo for me!” “According to my research, I’m in a crapload of pain.” “Learned that trick from playing Super Mario World.” “I’ll just be over here wibbling to myself. Please, pay me no mind.” “Okay, everyone. I’m going to go scream into a pillow for the next five minutes.” “Are you telling me that we can't build an elevator into space?! Because that sounds like something a guy who doesn't want to keep his job would say!” “And let me tell you one last thing. All those times I got angry and declared that I would have my vengeance on you: I WAS FAKING!” “I'm glad we spent all our money on this bag of potato chips and generic brand soda.” “By the way, I memorized several dozen dinosaur puns, just so I could use them in this.” “The only reunion that’s about to happen is my size ten up your buttocks!” “Dorō! Monsutā Kādo!” “You're right, (name). I lost control. At the end of the day, this is just a game.” “We’re going to disturb the spirits of the dead! Yay!” “What the fuck even is this season!?” “Won’t somebody fetch me some ice cream!?” “I’m old and I hold a stick. That automatically makes me the wisest person in the valley.” “It’s a good thing I played all that Assassin’s Creed!” “It’s a good thing I played all that Banjo Kazooie!” “Oh, thank God, because I really wasn’t listening to any of that. Any of it.” “Now, I have to go back down there and challenge that vulture to a card game.” “Okay, (name), I’m going to level with you; I may have lied about the pizza.” “It makes me look really bonkers cool while I kick the shit out of you.” “Actually, he says his name is Cornelius Jr. and he wants to play basketball, just like how his father wanted him to.” “You can talk to snakes!?” “Hey, are you sure it’s safe for us to fly straight into that strange weather phenomenon?” “I guess we’d better confront whatever villain of the week that is.” “Well, these buttons look important.” “We mostly get by using our street smarts and ingenuity.” “No, I'm mad because I never wanted to know what one of Hideo Kojima's wet dreams looked like, and now I do, so thanks for that.” “I swear on my life we didn't keep a single flying war machine of death.” “Well, it would be way more intimidating if its face wasn't so damn adorable.” “Yeah, they’re dead. Dibs on their crappy broken stuff!” “Did you guys notice that this episode had the exact same ending as Bee Movie?” “I'm also glad we're not going to Florida as it means that we are not going to Florida.” “OK, but wait! I'm almost to the part where we met two ghosts in the California desert who just happened to be related to the guy we're fighting. Oh God, you're right; it's all just bullshit, isn't it?” “Breaking stuff will fix it!” “I'm bi a lot of things, but lingual is not one of them.” “Welcome back, asshole.” “Hey (name), wanna reenact a scene from Back to the Future Part II?” “I'd rather throw myself off the roof.” “Damn you, Microsoft Flight Simulator!” “Yes, but you had to steal my catchphrase to do it! Is nothing sacred to you?” “That is the single most offensive thing anyone has ever said to me.” “OK, children, from now on, everybody uses the Buddy System. When I say "Go," I want you all to choose a buddy and form an everlasting and inseparable bond between them 'till death do you part. OK, go!” “(Name), remember, whatever happens, you mustn't become an evil little sh*thead.” “Suckers! Consider yourselves ditched.“ “Well if any other anime in existence has taught me anything, most of the drama tends to happen on...the roof.“ “Just my luck. Dork Fest continues.“ “No! It's got a scythe. The deadliest farming implement known to man.“ “This heavy-hearted metaphor was brought to you by Da, a subsidiary of Doy, Inc.” “OK, this is also total BS. When I came back from the dead, I didn't get a chorus of heavenly music and a light show.“ “It's a good thing I'm so buff or that fall would've killed me.“ “(Name), promise me you're not going to embarrass me in front of the U.S. Military.” “ Guys, I think we took a wrong turn, because I'm pretty sure this is the Chamber of Secrets.” “Those aren't Funko Pops! They're much more disturbing!” “Yeah, makes your measly five thousand years look like a five thousand years of being a bitch, bitch.“ “Okay, but why are we in space?” “I have no idea who that is. You are talkin' fucking crazy right now, man. Are you okay? Do you need water? How long were you in the desert for?“ “For the record, I was dressing up in suits of armor before it was cool.“ “(Name), this is like, the third time you've tried to murder one of my friends, stop it!” “Nah. As a teenager with unlimited access to the Internet, I get to do that every day.” “As I was saying, (name) is a damn handsome and valuable person. Thank goodness for them.” “They died as they lived... pissing me off.” “Okay, who let the posh shithead in here?” “I'm so happy you escaped the cold embrace of death so that I could experience your deathly cold embrace again!“ “Wow. My eBay sensors are tingling.“ “You know, we really have no idea where this portal will take us, but I have total confidence in this decision.“ “None of this matters to you! You're already dead! Blah, blah, blah, omae wa mou shindeiru.” “Glad we came all the way up here so that we could not know what was going on.“ “Does this mean I can take back all the nice things I said?“ “I'm not doing any of those things. I'm just enjoying being with you.”

#sentence prompt #rp prompt #rp prompts #writing prompts #writing prompt #sentence prompts #rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #writing memes #ygotas #ygotas season 4 #ygotas memes

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simplyolivers · 5 years ago

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yeethaw and howdy once again partners, it’s me your least favorite texan sierra. i’ve had this character in mind from like the day that i picked up isa & seren, and now i can finally pick up my pure son. now let me introduce you to oliver park-davies.

ROSS BUTLER - OLIVER PARK-DAVIES identifies as CIS-MALE and uses HE/HIM pronouns. they’re a SINGER/ACTOR, and they’re only TWENTY-FOUR! they’re said to be EMPATHETIC, but also PROTECTIVE. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE PHILANTHROPIST in the tabloids.

biography:

the bibliomaniac + the academic — aka his early years [ 0 to 12. musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ]

oliver park-davies was born to two extremely loving parents, and his seven other siblings of which he was the oldest, they were this gigantic loving family, and everybody wanted to be like them

his parents ended up figuring out that their son was smart, like hella smart, by 10 he’d mastered latin, and by 11 he was already reading at college level

bUT despite being able to graduate college by 12 at the rate he was going he wanted as normal of a childhood as possible, and so he continued with his regular grade level, and tried his best to be ‘normal’ fun fact: he often dumbs himself down bc he doesn’t like people treating him differently

the paracosmist + the black sheep — aka his teen years [ 13 to 18. musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ]

books weren’t the only thing that oliver found his passion for, when he enrolled in his school’s choir, he realized his love for singing

he wanted to share his music with people without having the recognition, so he uploaded a lot of his music to soundcloud under an alias ( vc: conan gray / cavetown )

he gained a massive following, that not even he expected, which would seem like a great thing if he wasn’t expected by his parents to take on the family business

due to his revelation his parents ostracized him more than they did before, and slowly but surely he began to be iced out, no longer showing up in appearances, and just avoiding any press altogether

oliver had the scores to get to any school that he wanted and decided on business school at nyu, where his father was an alumni, the agreement that he had with his mother was that once he graduated he’d begin shadowing his mother to learn to run the company

the school and the city itself was immediately overwhelming to my smol bean who came from not so humble beginnings in his small town, and he was unsure of where he belonged in this huge school

until!!!!! he found friends!!!! and they made him feel accepted!!! and it was great!!!!

he was discovered one night at this open mic thing he went to and it was great! he was signed to a record deal with eden’s label! and my bby’s dreams were finally coming true!!!

lmao but the one condition that he did have for eden was that he had to graduate school first, and it was accepted

the philanthropist + the goofball + the broken bird — aka his current years [ 19 to current. musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. ]

he graduated early! because of course he did

his mom was expecting him to come back to texas and maintain the family business, but he pulled a whole uno reverse card, and ended up disappearing from whatever world it is that him mom lived in

he became pretty successful in the music industry, coming from this cool indie artist that only about a few hundred people knew about to this seemingly overnight sensation

my bb is still v e r y unused to the attention, mostly because his parents never gave it to him and he was like, adoration???? attention??? care??? what’s that

is a huge dork that just loves to make people smile and when he sees people genuinely happy his heart melts a little bit inside

is very much the shoulder to cry on for people, and even if he doesn’t know you he’ll sit and listen to your whole life story and just try to cheer you up because that’s just in his nature?

has started his acting career! first it was just cute small little cameos in movies and tv shows, but now it’s turned into him getting his own show!!! he couldn’t be more excited tbh

he’s honestly probably said, “alright i have to go back to being funny again.” to himself so many times before??? he’s so broken on the inside but has just put up so many barriers

#intro #abuse tw #cancer tw #death tw #i think that's it?#pls let me know if i missed anything #aLSO like this to plot with me & my baby boy

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juunjuniper-blog · 6 years ago

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Literal Meaning

Therese asks Mary on advice to win Cyrus over. She replies that "the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Of course, Therese takes it literally. I guess the professor never taught her about figurative and literal language, what a dork.

I finally write Octopath vore, hooray! I'm pretty sure I'm the first one to do so as well, unless I'm mistaken (I haven't found any). Cyrus is probably my favorite character, he's the perfect pred material. I might do something with Alfyn or Therion next, so look out for that.

“Um...Mary?” Therese whispered quietly. She technically wasn’t supposed to be talking in class, but Professor Albright was off on his signature lectures again, so the coast was clear.

“Yes?” Mary replied. Unlike Therese, she actually paid attention in class, instead of being distracted by the professor’s, well, everything. Therese looked at Cyrus to make sure he couldn’t hear for a moment.

“What do you think I should do about Cyrus not noticing me? He is so clueless…” Therese lamented. Mary looked thoughtful for a moment, then her eyes lit up as if a genius idea struck her.

“I know! They say the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I have no idea what that means, but it sounds smart.” Mary heard that from Paul, but never bothered to ask the definition.

The princess swore she heard an audible click in Therese’s mind. “Great idea! Thanks, Mary!” Therese gave her a thumbs up, just as Cyrus finished his ramblings.

“...And that is how the dexterous huntress defeated the dragon.” Neither Therese nor Mary paid attention to anything he said in the past minute, but clapped and pretended like they did anyway. Cyrus gave them both a smile.

“Thank you. I’m afraid our lesson is over now. Ergo, you two may be dismissed.” Mary immediately ran out of class to have a tea party, while Therese just stayed in the room.

“Therese? You can be dismissed now…” Cyrus reminded her, not noticing the door being closed and locked. “I know that, Professor,” Therese remarked. “I would just like to show how much I admire you.”

Being Cyrus, he was completely oblivious to what she meant. “Oh? Well, I am most gracious, Therese.” His student gave him an energetic grin. “Could you, close your eyes, professor? And open your mouth, please.”

Confused, Cyrus obeyed. Therese blushed as she looked into his maw, saliva cascading down. For once, she was grateful that he was taller than her. “No matter how strange this may feel, don’t pull me out!”

Pull her out? What does she mean by that? Cyrus questioned in his head. He was about to scrutinize her for more information, only to feel something shoved into his mouth.

Cyrus instinctively opened his eyes, to see Therese putting her hands in his mouth. “W-What are you doing?!” he exclaimed, gagging slightly at the feeling. He couldn’t help but lick over her hands, surprised to find that they tasted...actually pretty good! Like grapes and raspberries...delicious…

N-No! I must resist...

GRRK.

...I failed.

At the very least, Therese was fine with this. “Mary said that ‘the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” she quoted. Therese moved her head further inside Cyrus’ mouth. She didn’t even mind that she was being drenched in saliva.

So that was why she was doing this! “Therese, that is a proverb! It is not meant to be taken literal-”

He was cut off by Therese rubbing along his throat. Cyrus moaned involuntarily, even though this was completely wrong. He tried to spit her out, but nothing was working.

“Stop resisting, Professor!” Therese barked at him. “I’m trying to get to your heart, and the quickest way to it is through your stomach!” Cyrus tried to tell her that she was taking it extraordinarily literally, but found himself stuttering instead.

GLRK.

Cyrus was anything but a pervert, but his face flushed as he licked Therese’s breasts. His student let out a sharp gasp in response. “Ah! I-I’m so sorry, Therese!”

“N-No, it’s...okay. You can do that…”

Of all the responses, that was not one Cyrus expected, nor was it one he was prepared for. Pleased and yet dumbfoundead, he continued to lick her breasts. Strangely, they seemed to have the most enticing flavor.

“That’s better, Professor…” Therese murmured. Were it not for the possibility of him choking on her, she would have let Cyrus lick her chest for longer. She could feel herself sliding down his throat, tight as it was.

GLRRK.

Therese shivered as her head and arms landed in Cyrus’ stomach. She began to doubt that Mary was right in what she said, before she heard his heart beating. “See, Professor? I told you! Now I’m at your heart!”

Cyrus couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that. What a foolish fool he was to not teach her about how the digestive system works.

Of course, he was also an idiot and a dork for not lecturing the duo on the difference between figurative and literal language.

“That’s not how it works, Therese…” he corrected her. It seemed like his natural instincts to spread knowledge always prevailed, even when he had half of his student inside his stomach.

Though he had to admit, this wasn’t all that bad. Yes, he was going to be murdered by Headmaster Yvon, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, right? If he did find out, well...that’s what shrinking potions were for.

GLK.

Only Therese’s thighs and shoes remained by now. Cyrus began to ruminate on what he was doing. Was it immoral? By all means. Were H’aanit and Primrose going to murder him if they saw him doing this? Without question. Was it pleasurable? Yes, and that’s all that mattered.

H’aanit...Primrose...Cyrus wondered if they would be as willing if he offered the proposal for them to do this. He would probably have to shrink them down first though, his current bloated gut was making him groan at how slightly weird it felt.

Therese was unsure about this at first, but all doubt was erased by now. It was warm, and she was at the professor’s heart! Thanks, Mary, she thought. She would really have to thank her, but that could come later. Therese could feel her chest land by now, her breasts still saliva-covered.

“Come on, Professor, swallow already!” Therese ordered, almost impatiently. Surprisingly, Cyrus complied with little resistance, after getting his final licks in, naturally.

GLURRK.

Cyrus panted in satisfaction as Therese finally arrived in his stomach. The back of his mind still screamed that this was unlawful, but thankfully nobody besides him and Therese were here to see it.

“Well! That was...pleasant.” Cyrus finally decided on a word to describe it, leaning against his desk. “I knew you’d like it!” Therese spoke up. Cyrus was still dumbfounded on how she was okay with this. How did he get into this situation again? Ah, right…

“Therese, we honestly must work on figurative and literal language.”

Said female raised an eyebrow. He was giving her a lesson, while she was in his belly? “A-Alright, Professor...whatever you say.” Therese gave an affirmative rub to one of the stomach walls, just in case he didn’t hear her.

“Ahhh…” A pleasured moan from above. Therese raised an eyebrow, then smirked almost evilly. So Cyrus got flustered from having his belly rubbed, huh? She could use this to her advantage….

“A-Anyway, figurative language alludes to something without- ohhh…” He was cut off by Therese kneading at his stomach walls again. “Therese! P-Please don’t do that, it interrupts me…” Of course, she didn’t comply.

After nearly half an hour of Therese interrupting Cyrus while he was attempting to speak, the latter finally finished. “Do you understand now, Therese?” He did enjoy getting those internal massages, but he would never admit it, mostly for the sake of keeping his pride.

“Yes. Thank you, professor,” Therese chirped, before shifting to get into a comfortable position. Cyrus sighed in relief, licking his lips reflexively. He began to drool at the thought of doing this again. He hadn’t ever taught Mary about how the digestive systems works, after all...

#therese #cyrus #non-fatal #m/f vore #my writings

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ask-cockanaya-repository · 6 years ago

Text

Gwen 10+ Inches

Ben and Gwen have a literal dick measuring contest. Also Gwen has the Omnitrix because alternate universe. (As if the monstrous cocks wouldn’t give that away.)

[REDACTED] 02/25/2018 "Hhhhhuh." Gwen Tennyson cocks her mouth to one side in thought. "Well if I... tried that one." The Omnitrix gently but tauntingly beeps at her from her wrist. She looks over at her notebook page of button and turning combinations that she's already tried. She's got to finish up soon, but she really wants to fill out this page now, while she's in the zone. Grandpa let her sleep in for once since he and Ben were already going fishing today, so she got up late, took a wash, and is now pacing quietly around the Rustbucket in nothing but her boxers. Thus the need to finish up. "Ooh! I didn't do top left, bottom left..." She trails off while she starts fiddling, her voice replaced with beeps and grinding.

Johnaya 02/25/2018 Ben wasn't entirely sure why he'd been brought along for fishing. It was boring. One of the most boring things ever invented just after golf and before school. Well he had to admit it was nice seeing grandpa have fun and meet with some old friends of his. Even if that was mostly just because it let Ben slip away and go back to the RV. With how enthusiastically he pulls open the door you'd be forgiven thinking he'd been gone all day rather than an hour or two. "Oh man am I glad to be away from that." He sees Gwen there and quickly notices the fact she wasn't wearing a shirt. Or any pants. Being a teenage boy he kind of can't help stare at her butt for a second before looking away, trying not to seem too pervy. "Sorry for busting in on your alone time but I'm tired of messing with stinky, slimy fish."

[REDACTED] 02/26/2018 Startled, Gwen fucks up the sequence she was writing down and loudly slaps her arm against her chest to cover her nipples. "BEN!" She grumps at him for a moment before standing up and facing him. "Do you even know what knocking is? Jeez." Without missing too much of a beat she slips her shirt on over her arm, poking it out the sleeve once she's covered. She doesn't give him much time to speak, walking over while she slips it on. "Did you at least catch something before ditching grandpa?

Johnaya 02/26/2018 He can't help but grin and chuckle a little at just how flustered she gets at his sudden appearance, passing a quick glance over his shoulder. Just barely he catches a glimpse of her not too impressive chest before the blue cat shirt covers it. "Yeah. Caught a pair of perky dweeboobs." He gives enough time for her to yell or roll her eyes at him before not screwing around, turning around to face her. "Actually I did. Some fish with whiskers. Grandpa said it was a catfish but it looked too big and weird." Casually he leans against the fridge as he looks at her, ending up staring at her butt again. Not exactly very obvious in a pair of boxers but it's plump enough to notice. As was some weird bulging visible between her legs but Ben just figures that's the fabric creasing or something.

[REDACTED] 02/26/2018 "If grandpa says it was a catfish it was probably a catfish. He knows a lot more about it than you." She finishes writing the sequence down correctly before shutting the notebook and then crossing her arms at Ben, facing him fully. "So why'd you ditch him? Were you bored or did you just really need to get your fix of staring at my package? Not exactly the most subtle you've ever been about it." She mostly catches him staring at her butt and usually either doesn't say anything or teases him very lightly about it, but this is the most he's ever breached her privacy before.

Johnaya 02/26/2018 "Yeah. I actually came back to get something to make it less boring." Just as Gwen said Ben was staring at her crotch the moment she turned around to face him, eyes practically boring into her underwear. Especially the fact that her turning made the bulge wobble ever so slightly. He gives a shrug and looks away, trying to play it off. "As if. I'm still just wondering why you keep stuffing your boxers with socks. Just because you've got a package." Ben air quotes when he says package. "Doesn't mean you need to overcompensate this much. Like I'd make fun of you having a small dick. That's just not cool."

[REDACTED] 03/04/2018 Gwen is taken aback by the accusation once she realizes just what he was saying. "/Stuffing?/" She laughs a little. "Why would I even do that? Ben, if I had a small dick I would own up to it so at least you could feel like you were better than me in SOME way. This is all real." She gropes herself completely unabashedly, then pats it. "Although I guess I shouldn't assume I'm bigger, I'll admit I haven't seen yours." She puts her hands on her hips and stands with her hips cocked and pushed slightly forward. If he's going to look, might as well let him look.

Johnaya 03/04/2018 Oh. Ben blushes a bit as Gwen gropes herself, looking away again. Even if that was a pair of socks, something he was less sure of by the second, it was still pretty hot. He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms to try and play it off, cocking his hip as well. "Yeah. Even IF yours is real I'll bet it's not even half as big as mine!" To make a show as well he does the same thing as Gwen did, grabbing onto his crotch and squeezing. There is quite clearly a bit of a bulge in his pants. He sticks his tongue out at her and crosses his arms again, going back to looking at her bulge. "Actually..." A small smirk crosses his face. "You wanna make a real bet out of it?"

[REDACTED] 03/04/2018 "A bet?" She opens her mouth, closes it, then clicks her tongue. "You literally want to have a dick measuring competition? What are we, teenage boys?" One of her eyebrows goes up and she looks amused. "I mean, you're on, dork, no point in modesty anymore anyways. What's the wager then? Not much to offer each other that we're not already basically sharing."

Johnaya 03/04/2018 Ben could think of a few things they weren't sharing as he stares at Gwen's crotch, noting her boxers are different. So he's thankful for that at least. "Yeah! I figure you've got some rulers in all that nerd equipment of yours. And, uh..." He pauses for a moment as he tries to think of an adequate wager. Sure chores were always a good choice but he felt this was more important. It needed something unique. "Well since we're a pain in each other's butts so often how about whoever loses has to sit on the other's dick down to the balls?" He smirks again. "Sure hope you've got some lube, dweeb."

[REDACTED] 03/14/2018 "A ruler isn't-" She tries to protest rulers being 'nerdy' instead of just basic utility but Ben cuts her off. "... Wow." She just stands there for a moment, considering what he just said. "...... I guess it was going to happen eventually huh? Fine, I'd love to hear how you sound losing your anal virginity to your /clearly superior/ cousin." Tauntingly she sticks her tongue out at him before quickly swiping a ruler from a drawer and slapping it on the table. "There, although I have a feeling we won't need it. You first, pants off! I'm already mostly there."

Johnaya 03/14/2018 Ben rolls his eyes at Gwen and returns the tongue motion. "More like STUPERIOR cause you're stupider." Got her. He looks at the ruler for a moment before nodding, moving his hands down to his pants. "Yeah, yeah. Guess that's fair." He grabs the zipper on the front and pulls it down. Only, instead of stopping halfway down his crotch, it goes all the way down between his legs. It stops just above Ben's butt crack and he pulls down his pants the rest of the way, having sagged some from no longer being zipped. In his boxers there's a pretty clear bulge but it's not as big as Gwen's. It's still pretty ridiculous looking though.

"Ready to get beat, dweeb?" He just gives her a small smirk before grabbing the ruler and moving it next to the two of them on the table, starting to fiddle with his boxers. In a few seconds he fishes out his soft shaft and slaps it down onto the table, making sure the ruler was flush with his cock. He looks pretty triumphant as his flaccid shaft reaches just under nine inches.

[REDACTED] 03/17/2018 Gwen raises one, then both eyebrows at Ben's weird slutty shorts but drops them back down once the dick is revealed, trying not to react too weirdly. She's actually a little impressed, but once the measurement come out she shakes her head softly. "Tsk tsk, you're bigger than I thought you'd be but I was right! We didn't even need the ruler." She pulls her drawers down and her cock flops free, and just at a glance it's clear she's at least in the same size range as him. Once she gets closer however, lining up with the ruler herself so they're close enough to see together, it becomes far more obvious that she's bigger. Besides being thicker even while soft, she's a smidge over eleven inches long as well. Once it's lined up she just crosses her arms, looks at Ben, and shrugs. "Right again, I guess."

Johnaya 03/18/2018 Understandably the triumphant mood Ben just had deflates as he stares at his cousin's larger cock. Staring wasn't the right word. He was more gawking at it, taking a few seconds to respond to her. "Well... Yeah I guess so." As he keeps looking his shaft twitches momentarily and he gets an idea. Reaching a hand down he rubs a thumb along the top of his cock, smirking at Gwen. "You might be bigger soft but I bet I'm bigger hard. You know what they say. Grower not a shower." Teasingly Ben lightly smacks his shaft on the table. "Plus once I'm hard then you can just sit right on it! Provided you aren't too much of a tight ass to take it anyway." Without waiting for Gwen to get back to him Ben was already gingerly stroking his shaft, keeping it close to the table so he could keep comparing to the ruler and to Gwen. "Might need another one of these once I'm all the way hard."

[REDACTED] 03/23/2018 "Oh I guarantee I won't!" She grins competitively at him, stepping back from the table and beginning to jerk herself to erection. "And you look like you've got the tighter butt, loser. Look at this thing." Firmly but not hard enough to be a spank, she pats Ben's ass with her free hand. It jiggles a little. "Actually, I think you have the better butt in general. At least it'll be nice and cushioned for me!" Sounding cockier by the second, she leans backwards against the table. She's not fully hard yet, but she's gotten even thicker and longer, astoundingly. No pre-teen should have a dick this big.

Johnaya 03/23/2018 "Hey!" Ben frowns a bit when Gwen touches his butt, taking a few steps away from the table so she can't reach. "No touching!" He pauses for a moment before stepping back, reaching a hand to his side. "Unless I get to touch back." He casually gropes the side of Gwen's hip, squeezing her ass. True enough hers is nowhere near as soft as his. Sure it's plump but he can tell there's some hidden muscles there. "Yeah my butt is definitely better than yours." He pulls his hand away from his dick briefly to spank his rump, making it jiggle and showing it off. It is quite clearly much larger and plumper than Gwen's.

His own cock is even more impressive, Ben now unable to wrap his hand comfortably around it. His tip swells briefly as his shaft lurches up, smacking back down on the table with a thud. Having looked at his own shaft he takes a look at Gwen's dick, which already looked huge, but is now wider than his arm. His eyes go wide and he just stares at it, mesmerized. "Holy hell, Gwen..."

[REDACTED] 03/27/2018 "What'd I tell you? No ruler needed. Unless you really want to know exactly how much more impressive I am than you." The look she gives him is filled with so much smarm it's beyond words. Her hand goes to Ben's ass again, giving it a nice hard squeeze and spreading it, giving her a good look at her prize. "Huh, looks tight and inviting. You didn't make our bet without actually being prepared for your cousin's big dick, did you? Regretting the terms yet?" The tone of her voice makes it very clear that she's ready to demolish Ben's ass if he'll let her, but if he begs her hard enough she might let him out of it.

Johnaya 03/27/2018 When she touches his ass again he doesn't pull away this time, just narrowing his eyes a bit before sighing. "Fine, fine. I guess you are bigger than me. But I am curious just how much so..." Casually he reaches forward and grabs the ruler, putting it on top of her cock. As he pulls back he lightly flicks at the side of her girthy dick before chuckling. "Measure yourself, dork. I'll get ready." Without waiting to see if she actually was measuring herself or not, mostly cause he wanted this over with, Ben slowly takes off his boxers, having to fit his shaft back through before pulling them down. When his black and white underwear fall his bubbly butt is exposed, the doughy cheeks landing on the table with a small clap. "So... Where did you want to do this?"

[REDACTED] 03/27/2018 "Not going to try to back out, huh? Maybe you're not a complete loser." She does some benchmarking with her thumb so that she can use the 12 inch ruler to measure her 16 inch dick. "Sixteen, dweeb, read it and weep. Hmm..." Touching her finger to her chin, she looks around the RV. The seats where they are now have armrests on the side and a table in front, so that's no good. That leaves the other seating area at the back of the camper. "Let's just do it back here. I could take you outside, but the hilarity of letting other people see wouldn't be worth the punishment. Probably. Come on." With no time to lose she leads him to the back , hard cock swaying freely from her gait. When she gets there she just sits down, legs spread casually and arms propped up on the back of the seat. "Well?"

Johnaya 03/27/2018 The idea of going outside fills him with a weird mix of arousal and nervousness. Luckily though they weren't going to do it. He was going to take his cousin's cock in the privacy of their grandpa's van. Not wanting to annoy her Ben just follows behind Gwen, watching as she plops down on the cushion, her nuts whapping against it. However he notices a bit of a problem. Namely the table in the way. With a sigh he pushes it to the side so he's got enough to stand in front of her, staring down at her massive erection. "Wow. You are big. Bigger than anything else I've stuck in there." Gulping he pauses for a second before dropping to his knees in front of her, grabbing onto her cock with both hands and sucking on the tip. Before she can protest, as if she would, he speaks. "I'm going to blow you first. For lube. I know spit's not too great but it's better than going dry right?"

[REDACTED] 03/27/2018 She thought there was plenty of room between her and the table but whatever. Gwen's eyebrows both slide up from intrigue when Ben, without being prodded, kneels and begins sucking. She actually does consider protesting to make sure he wasn't trying to get out of the bet, but when she hears the actual reason she rolls her eyes. "Ben, I /have/ lube. It's with my stuff. I can't believe you haven't seen it. Then again, you've never seen my bulge before, so maybe you need glasses. Go get the bottle." She gently pushes his head away from her dick.

Johnaya 03/27/2018 Ben narrows his eyes at her as she pushes him away but figures it was for the best. He wasn't exactly that skilled with his mouth and trying against this monster wouldn't teach him much other than to gag. Sighing he gets up from the floor, his ass rubbing her shaft as he does, and walks off to get her lube. It wasn't too hard to find, what with it being a liter bottle, but Ben was confused how he'd never seen it before. Or the massive condom wrappers she had in her drawer. He picks one up to look at it before tossing it at Gwen, coming back with the bottle of lube. "I can't believe you brought condoms. Have you ever... used any of them?" As he spoke he squirted a dollop of lube onto Gwen's shaft, slowly running his hand along it to coat his cousin's behemoth.

[REDACTED] 03/27/2018 Gwen watches as the still relatively small plastic square ineffectually falls to the ground like a piece of paper, noting that she should pick that up when they're done. Or earlier maybe. Who knows. "Yeah, I use them so I don't make a mess when I masturbate. What do you do, ruin a sock?" She settles into her seat a little when Ben starts lubing her up, wiggling a little and sinking in. This was going to be good. He's a lot less hesitant than she was expecting him to be. He had been scoping her out for a while...

Johnaya 03/27/2018 "No I use the bathroom or paper towels like a normal person." He smirks at her as his hands glide along her shaft, running a thumb across her cockhead, the top of it glistening from the lube. Of course Ben had a suspicion that what he put on wouldn't be enough but he was fine with using more. After all it was Gwen's lube and not his. "Even with this thing you're still a dork. I thought since you had condoms you'd have at least had some action." He pats the side of Gwen's shaft and chuckles, grabbing the bottle of lube again. Squirting another dollop on he gets back to work stroking her, now focusing more on the middle and lower parts of her cock. His eyes wander down to look at her base, seeing how much more he had to do, as well as catch a glimpse of her huge, plump balls.

[REDACTED] 03/27/2018 "I've had a little, just not on our road trip. I've been too focused on fighting and figuring out the watch. Not like you're going to tell me you've gotten laid recently either. Otherwise you'd be ogling me less." Ben's hands working on her are nice, but nowhere near as nice as a tight butt. She taps his hip with her foot. "Chop chop. That's more than enough." There really is a thick layer on there.

Johnaya 03/27/2018 Ben sticks his tongue out at her and pats the side of her cock as he stands. "Hey this thing isn't going in your butt. You'd be using a lot of lube if you were in my position too." When he's finally on his feet he pauses in front of her, just looking down. Watching Gwen's cock throb and glisten in the light was pretty hot to look at he had to admit. Even if it did make him incredibly nervous. "You look bigger. Or is that just the lighting? I've never put this much lube on anything before." He gulps but doesn't wait for an answer, turning around and nonchalantly pressing his ass to her cock. With both hands he reaches back to spread his cheeks, making sure Gwen can see as he presses her cockhead right against his hole. "You ready?" That was less him asking her and more him stalling.

[REDACTED] 04/25/2018 She makes a note to ask him what else he's put lube on before. Without answering, and with a naughty smirk on her face, Gwen gives Ben a single smack on the ass while steadying her shaft with the other hand. Before he can react further, she grabs him so he's steady as well and pushes her hips up, meeting the opening of his asshole with her handsomely shaped cockhead and meeting obvious resistance. Without pushing the matter (literally) further she nestles her own butt back into the seat and pokes the small of his back impatiently. "Do you always make girls wait like this after you get them horny?"

Johnaya 04/25/2018 Seeing Gwen give that naughty smirk made Ben gulp and look down at her cock again, gnawing on his bottom lip. Before he can ask again, for clarification, she ends up pressing her tip to his asshole. The effect is immediate and he lets out a deep, slutty moan. He doesn't try to draw attention to it, instead steadying himself again and reaching a hand back to spread one of his ass cheeks. "I don't usually deal with super horny girls or their sixteen inch dicks, Gwen." Taking a deep breath he pushes back, feeling her thick cockhead press against his surprisingly pliable asshole. But given she's this massive it's still a stretch, making Ben groan deeply once more. It takes a little more effort but, soon enough, her cockhead pops inside of him and he gasps. "Tw-twenty inches. Guh... You're friggin' huge." He gyrates his hips a little, managing an inch or so more of dick, and claps his doughy cheeks around her shaft.

[REDACTED] 05/06/2018 "Not bad." She smugly puts her arms behind her head and relaxes into her seat. "But the bet was to SIT, Ben! Chop chop, you're not free here until I feel your fat girly butt squishing against my crotch! You're lucky it isn't twenty. Maybe after puberty?" With a little wiggle of her hips she waits for Ben to keep going. As much as she'd love to make this faster herself, it's so much more humiliating to make him do it. If he thought he was going to be living this down any time soon... well, he doesn't know his cousin very well.

Johnaya 05/06/2018 "Hey! Well you've got a big, manly cock so, uh..." Ben's voice trails off as he realizes that wasn't exactly an insult. Under his breath he says "As if you even need puberty." The wiggle Gwen gave made Ben gasp lightly and look back at her. That definitely was a lot of cock he had to take. But a bet was a bet. Taking a deep breath he looks back at Gwen and gives her a wink to try and seem confident. Even though he'd only just gotten her inside he starts to push harder, gritting his teeth as he feels inch after incredibly thick inch slide into his hole. It takes a few minutes but eventually Ben reaches a little over half way down her cock, panting hard with a deep blush on his face as he looks back stunned. With a concerned look on his face he takes another deep breath and foregoes any more preparation, thrusting his hips back hard until he feels his cousin's crotch against his ass, cheeks clapping audibly against her.

[REDACTED] 05/21/2018 Gwen watches with perverse satisfaction as her length slowly disappears, sort of hoping that at some point Ben will admit defeat and be unable to continue. When he stops halfway she thinks she's gotten her wish, just about to open her mouth, but all she's able to communicate is an "oof" as Ben drops rather gracelessly into her lap. Inhaling sharply, she just sits there a moment before letting out a huge breath. "Alright! Not bad, you did it. Now you can feel aaaaall of my superiority in your ass." She leans in and talks into his ear, not in a sultry way, just a smug way. "How's it feel, cousin?"

Johnaya 05/22/2018 It takes Ben a few moments to respond to what Gwen said. Mostly because it takes him that long to let out the breath he was still holding, breathing deeply afterwards. Both of his hands move to his belly and rub at it. There's the clear outline of Gwen's cock bulging through his skin and he can't help but bite his lip. "A real p-pain in the butt. Like you." He weakly smirks at her before gasping, grinding his hips against her. His own shaft twitches and drools out a bit of pre-cum, Ben gnawing on his lip. "A-actually it's... Ugh. It f-feels really good, Gwen." The blush on his face intensified as he said that, ashamed to admit it to Gwen. Mostly because it meant he had to say Gwen was actually doing something nice for him.

[REDACTED] 05/22/2018 "... Well good. It should, all things considered." Dang, that wasn't nearly as satisfying or humiliating for Ben as she had hoped, but it really caught her off guard, and she's very very turned on. Definitely going to have to rub one out after this. "Well you're free to go, d-... slut." She leans back and crosses her arms, waiting for Ben to begin his arduous journey back up. "You held up the wager, surprisingly enough, I can't fault you for that at least."

Johnaya 05/22/2018 If he was able to notice it Ben would definitely take a bit of pride in deflating Gwen's sails. Speaking of deflating though he did currently have a monstrous cock buried inside of him. That was only there for a bet. And that's it. He totally wasn't enjoying how this felt at all. Hearing Gwen tell him he's free to go gets him to start moving upwards. Only, after a few inches, Ben's legs end up giving out and he lands back on Gwen's lap. He sits for a moment before trying again, this time reaching halfway, before clapping back against her. "Nnn... Come on." Both hands reach back to spread his ass cheeks, trying to give himself a little more leeway as he starts to move again.

[REDACTED] 05/22/2018 Gwen grunts as she is inadvertently caused to semi-fuck Ben's butt. "What are you doing, idiot, just stand UP!" She puts her hands under his cheeks and helps lift. "Unless you're trying to lose your virginity to me, you should be more careful! Take it slowly." She provides steady support, but once he's part way up an idea strikes her. She stops pushing.... and lets go. "Uff, whooops! Looks like clumsiness runs in the family! At least you said you like it, right?" She leans forward over his shoulder again and winks at him.

Johnaya 05/22/2018 "I'm trying! It's a bit hard with that huge thing inside of me." With a bit of annoyance Ben reaches back and grabs onto the exposed bit of cock. It was quite clearly feigned annoyance as he starts to stroke it gently before pulling away. He really needed to get off of her before he actually got off on her. His shaft was twitching more, pre-cum dribbling from the tip. When Gwen lets him fall he gasps and can't help but grind his hips against her, panting softly. "Y-yeah. But just cause it, nnn, feels good doesn't mean I want your gross... meaty monster cock in me." Even despite his protests Ben's hips are raising an inch or so every few seconds before slapping back down on Gwen's crotch.

[REDACTED] 05/23/2018 "Mnf, yeah." Gwen starts meeting Ben's hip movements in kind, thrusting up against him and helping him lift a little higher each time by holding his hips. "I can't think of anything more disgusting than finishing in your tight butt." And he really is tight, she reflects, especially his entrance. She can feel his hole squeezing her even as it bounces up and down on her cock. "W-want to make another bet?" She tries to sing at him tauntingly, but her voice falters whenever their bodies meet, the force of impact now making an audible sound.

Johnaya 05/23/2018 Feeling Gwen thrust up to meet him he can't help but gasp, biting his bottom lip. He almost protests about it but thinks better of it. After all he was raising up a bit higher each time so it was clearly working. At the mention of bet Ben turns around to look at Gwen while still trying, and quite clearly failing, to pull himself off of her. "What, nnn, kind of bet, dweeb?" He plants his rump on her crotch again and grinds against it, hands renewing their grip on his doughy cheeks. "I'm g-gonna guess it's gotta do with your... huge dick. Right? I can feel you throbbing harder inside me."

[REDACTED] 05/29/2018 Panting now, she lets out a short groan of pleasure. She's gotta do boy butt more often, she thinks. "Obviously. Wanna wager on who cums first?" She grunts and shudders a little, having just pounded Ben a little harder on accident. "If I get off first you get to return the favor with my butt. You leak on the floor first and I pick our nex- nnmm, position." This maybe isn't a wise bet, considering she can feel her body getting ready to let loose already, but it's not like there's a downside, and she's not exactly thinking straight. She's too busy fucking tight cousin butt for that.

Johnaya 05/30/2018 "I thi-think... think..." Ben's voice trails off as he starts thrusting himself back harder, arching his back. His shaft is twitching wildly in front of him and drooling pre-cum now, swinging upwards and flexing. With a deep, needy moan it gives one final throb before twitching and launching a rope of jizz out, splattering onto the table. First time he's ever orgasmed from just his butt and he can't deny it feels really, really good. But maybe that had to do with Gwen's monster cock filling him up so much. He keeps moaning and panting as streams of cum weakly spurt out of his dick but they mostly just drool out, landing on the floor. It lasts for around half a minute before Ben leans back and sighs, grinding against Gwen's crotch as the final rope rolls down his shaft. "F-f-fuck..."

[REDACTED] 06/12/2018 Gwen is more than happy to see Ben cumming before her, and helps him along by picking up the slack in their rhythm from his loss of focus. She's so, so close it's almost painful but she doesn't quite make it before Ben relaxes against her. The grinding is nice though, and helps keep her right on the edge. "Does that mean I win, Ben?" She teases right in his ear before pushing her hips against his butt in a vain attempt to finish. "But I didn't uh-h... hh, finish. Can you just. Do a little more?"

Johnaya 06/22/2018 Ben's still moaning gently as he grinds against Gwen's crotch, feeling her cock twitching vigorously inside of him. Even in his post-orgasmic daze he knew she was close. He leans back and airily chuckles at her before picking up his ass, lifting barely an inch before landing back on her. "W-what's the matter, Gwen? Can't h-handle some teasing?" He keeps up the barely noticeable lifting, just until he's sure Gwen's about to spank him in annoyance, before slowly lifting himself all the way up her shaft. His stretched asshole sucks on her shaft all the way up before he reaches the tip, wiggling his hips briefly before slamming back down. Gasping he gets back to riding her but with much less focus now, more sloppy and erratic but no less pleasurable.

[REDACTED] 07/03/2018 Gwen's hands are inches away from grasping at Ben's rear again before he drops, making her gasp and curl her fingers uselessly in the air. Instead she just puts them at her side and digs tightly into the seat while she lets her cousin do all of the work. The break in the action pushed her orgasm back by a few moments, but Ben's eager bouncing brings her right back to it momentarily, and only a few bounces later she makes an indistinct yell and mindlessly shoves her hips up as she begins to cum. Her ass bounces pitifully up and down in its seat, her body eager to breed, while her sack tightens and pumps so much thick cum that you can see the bottom of her cock fill out a little. "Ah, yyyes!"

Johnaya 07/06/2018 When Gwen's hips collide with his own it nearly knocks the breath out of him, making him gasp sharply and let out a girlish moan. He quickly covers his mouth, hoping she didn't hear, but it's for naught. The second her shaft starts twitching inside him he gets right back to moaning softly and as that hot load pumps into his butt he gets louder. He throws his head back and pants gently, rubbing a hand over the bulge in his belly from Gwen's cock, feeling each shot on the inside and out. His hips continue to gyrate and lift slightly, taking about an inch or so of her cock every few seconds. When she finishes he just runs his hand along the cum bump in his stomach, letting out a little ooph. "Jeez, Gwen. Y-you were pretty backed up, huh? It's s-so much my whole butt is warm."

[REDACTED] 07/17/2018 Gwen keeps up her steady, if minimal, thrusting through her whole climax until she's got nothing left to give, her ass falling back into the cushion and her back sinking into the seat behind her. For a few moments she just pants quietly, and it takes her a moment to respond to Ben at all. "Ah, nah, I usually cum about that much. Gotta say though... whew... you make some pretty cute noises for a dweeb. Maybe that got a little more out of me... Not to mention that tight butt. Slut." She pokes Ben's ass with her tongue out before letting both arms fall to her sides. "Whew..."

Johnaya 07/17/2018 Ben just turns his head to look at Gwen when she mentions cumming that much normally, squishing a finger into his stomach by about an inch. Which makes him unintentionally let out a little moan and normally he'd try to play it off but he feels too good now to bother. He still blushes at her calling his noises cute and the poke to his ass. To tease her a bit he wiggles his hips and rocks back and forth, sliding his bubbly cheeks along her crotch. "Thanks. I think." He pauses for a moment. "You monster cocked dork." He sits there for a little while, just enjoying the feeling of being full, before gently lifting his ass. A small moan escapes his lips as he plops back down on Gwen's crotch, turning to look at her again. "So... What now? You wanna keep going?"

[REDACTED] 07/19/2018 She lets out a hefty breath before 'tch'ing at him. "Uhh, yeah, I just won our second bet, didn't I? You think I'm gonna let you get away from that while I'm still rock hard?" After a small arm stretch she removes her shirt, having realized she's getting pretty sweaty. Her chest is very modest, not even close to needing a bra yet. "I think I want you on the ground pointing your butt up at me so I can plow you into the carpet. Sound good?"

Johnaya 07/20/2018 Oh right. He'd nearly forgotten about that after feeling her unload inside of him. Still he hadn't expected it would be right now but, sure enough, he tightens around her and feels she's just as hard as before. He lets out a small "Oh god." underneath his breath as he wonders just how long she can go, his own cock twitching gently. "That sounds..." It sounds really embarrassing. But also extremely hot. "Fine with me." He reaches a hand back as he stands up slowly to stabilize himself, groaning noisily as her beastly member leaves his hole. Every inch feels just as good coming out as it did going in and, in what seems like far too short a time, Ben's already at her tip, standing mostly upright. With a sharp gasp he steps forward and she audibly pops out of him and Ben can't help but look back.

His asshole is absolutely ruined now, Ben knowing none of the toys he had before would fit anymore. Or satisfy him at the very least. It's gaped and stretched, flexing open and closed gently, the smallest amount of jizz seeping out. Seems Gwen came deep enough to prevent that being too much of a problem. "God I can't get over how big you are, Gwen." Ben reaches a hand back to stroke at her cum, lube, and ass covered cock, mostly just to touch it. His other hand spreads one of his cheeks, showing her just what she's done to him, his abused hole practically winking at her. "So thick and meaty..." He realizes that he's not doing what she said and stops for a moment, just looking at her and smiling. "Mind, nnn, tossing a pillow down so I don't get rug burn?"

[REDACTED] 09/27/2018 Gwen's not even bothered at Ben's procrastinating because she's so busy staring at his hole, lip bitten with both eyebrows slightly up. When she hears the tone of a question being asked she snaps out of it and grabs the pillow as asked, casually throwing it on the shitty RV carpet the Rustbucket has. But before Ben can get down, she stands as well and sandwiches her cock between her and Ben, pressed against his back. Like this, she can see and Ben can feel just how deep it goes, and Gwen just flexes her cock against him for a moment before leaning forward and cockily asking "Well??? Get moving!"

Johnaya 09/27/2018 Ben lets out a surprisingly girly squeak as Gwen pushes herself forward and wedges her cock in between his ass cheeks, feeling the hot shaft throbbing against his spine. Well at least she didn't push him over and just start fucking him though some part deep inside almost wished she had. Mentally shaking it off Ben gulps and nods to Gwen as he gently gyrates his hips, teasing her a bit before leaning down against the pillow. It wasn't exactly comfortable, either the pillow or the floor, but he could tolerate it for now. With his face down and his ass up he's almost ready for Gwen but he decides to tease her just a bit more. Reaching both his hands back he spreads his cheeks wide and shows off his hole again, wiggling his hips gently. "Hurry up, Gwen.~" That should get her really going.

[REDACTED] 09/30/2018 The first thing Ben feels after hearing Gwen drop to her knees is a hard thwap of her cock against his hole, followed by her dragging it back to get the tip in place. "Ben you slut, if you want me to be rough you can just ask." With his hole so thoroughly gaped her cock head just slots in. When she pushes, Ben's ass accepts her with no problem. She grips his hips tightly and thrusts, delighted by the feeling of his insides brushing against her while she forces them into shape with her tool. Halfway in already, she decides she's going to make good on that statement right away and pulls on Ben while she thrusts, slamming her groin against him and slapping her nuts into his taint.

Johnaya 09/30/2018 Another girlish squeak comes from him when Gwen's shaft smacks against his ass, pulling his hands away to put them on the floor to brace himself. He hadn't exactly wanted it rough but he also wasn't going to protest. Mostly because he kind of wants it and doesn't think Gwen would stop even if he asked. When she presses against his hole he lets out a shuddering moan before gasping as half of it is already inside of him. "J-jeez. No breaks, huh?" His eyes go wide as he's yanked back against her crotch and his arms wobble before giving out, Ben's head landing on the pillow as he moans. He shakes his hips gently in Gwen's grasp, feeling her huge nuts resting against his own, eyes rolling up into his head as his shaft throbs to life again.

[REDACTED] 09/30/2018 "A hero has to put her best into everything she does, including your... BUTT!" Gwen pulls back mid-sentence and finishes it as she thrusts back in, feeling very powerful when she hears the clap of her hips hitting his plump cheeks. She goes as fast as she can while pulling out around half of her length each thrust, which is a little easier due to being able to push and pull Ben's ass in reverse of her movements. "I bet alien sluts aren't nearly as- MMF! Loose as you are, right Ben?" She slows down, just momentarily, to smack his ass. "No way they could take me as easy as you are!~ I feel bad for superheroes who don't have cousins as good for taking cock as you."

Johnaya 10/04/2018 More moans and more girlish squeaks. Gwen was really giving it to him now or, at the very least, it sure felt like it. He groans and reaches a hand back, squeezing his cheek and just digging his fingers in, not sure what else to be doing with his hand right now. The other fist is clenching against the carpet, occasionally tensing up. "P-probably? You're the, nnn, one that usually gets hit on b-by them. G-guess they're a lot better at noticing y-your bulge huh?" As she slows down he coos before gasping as she spanks his ass. "Well I-I... really like taking your cock!" Ben promptly buries his face in the pillow, moaning loudly and whorishly as pre-cum drools from his shaft like a faucet.

[REDACTED] 10/14/2018 "Oh yeah???" She smacks his ass again before bending forward, chest against his back, arms wrapped around him, and she begins to jackhammer against him. Losing her composure almost immediately, she grunts into Ben and drools on him ever so slightly. Not that it's easy to hear through the repeated rhythmic 'fwap's. Her dick is so big, and being a preteen Ben is so thin, that she can actually feel the pressure from her arms wrapping around him when she hilts. "Beeennn~" Gwen groans, the tight boy butt still gripping her marvelously even with her rapid pounding.

Johnaya 10/15/2018 Ben grit his teeth when Gwen spanked him again before nearly getting knocked over when she practically jumps on his back to get even deeper inside. His eyes roll into the back of his head and his mouth opens in a silent moan, feeling his ass slap against her crotch, hard. There's not much he can do other than get pounded by her, trying to hold himself steady. Even still they scooch slightly along the floor every so often, making him ooph at the motion. When she moans out his name he can't help but respond, his in a more slutty tone. "Gw-gweeen!" His shaft twitches and drools a bit of cum as her hammering brings him to orgasm, a deep, needy groan coming from Ben's throat.

[REDACTED] 10/16/2018 Gwen muffles her embarrassing noises by burying her face in Ben's back, but the swear words she mutters while her thrusts get sloppy are still easy to make out. Ben would be unable to miss her orgasm because it starts with her pressing down on him more, having difficulty holding her weight up with jelly legs and no arm support. Then, of course, even with the small gyrating thrusts Gwen can manage like this, it wouldn't be hard to feel a muscle as strong as her cock flex inside him, releasing the second batch of hot cum in his ass today. Doing her best not to crush him or stop thrusting, Gwen lets go of him to support herself, putting space between their sweat slick skins and giving her a lot more downward leverage to /really/ push deep inside him when she hilts.

Johnaya 10/17/2018 For a moment Ben tries to do the same thing as Gwen, muffling his moans with the pillow on the ground, but Gwen's hard thrusts quickly knock him off of it. With his face planted in ground Gwen can hear his noises loud and clear. He pants and moans and even squeaks as she rubs her cock all along his insides, fists clenching the old carpet. Even if she wasn't moving much he could've sworn the whole van was shaking with each little shudder she had. He wondered if it had actually been shaking earlier before his dumb line of thought is cut off by the hard buck of her shaft inside of him. His eyes go wide as he picks himself up and nearly throws his head back but is careful not to hit Gwen with the back of his head. Gritting his teeth he feels her get just a bit deeper before slumping forward again, jaw slack, jizz drooling from his shaft, as his belly bloats even further with her immense orgasm.

[REDACTED] 10/29/2018 Once her orgasm is underway Gwen starts losing ability to maintain stability, hips jerking back and forth inconsistently whenever her muscles feel the urge. Moments later she really gives away her ability to pound Ben, because she leans on one arm and reaches under him to stroke his impressive length as well. What she's left doing could barely be called thrusts, but she still valiantly goes at it at least as good as any tween could be expected to while unloading over half a gallon in her cousin's butt and jacking him off. "Mmf-" All of the haughty attitude has left her voice, reduced to pleasured groaning.

Johnaya 10/29/2018 When Gwen involves her hand Ben's not even sure what he should do. The pleasure is almost more than he can handle. With her this deep and his shaft getting stroked there's really only one thing he can do. His eyes roll into the back of his head and his face goes full ahegao as he keep shooting onto the floor, each rope now more potent than before thanks to Gwen's motions. His moans are even sluttier but quieter, now having lost some of his voice. Still he can manage to say something to Gwen, amid gasps, before he goes right back to panting and moaning. "G-g-give me all your cum, Gwen! Drain your balls in my butt!~"

[REDACTED] 10/29/2018 Gwen can't help herself. She laughs, just a little, mid-'gasm from Ben's dirty talk. A few seconds later she stops thrusting, just holding herself balls deep while she continues to pant and stroke. "You're, hah, such a slut. How did this not... happen sooner?" Her hand is fighting with Ben's cum bloated stomach for room beneath him, having to angle his shaft away to not repeatedly bump into it. He looks just a little pregnant, the first orgasm having taken up all the space inside, forcing the second to swell him up. "You came just from my giant cock in your ass, huh? You didn't even need my hand!" Of course, she keeps going, actually stroking better with her own climax out of the way, even while panting. "Whoo... Why don't you thank me, Ben? Huh?" She does one, succinct pound against his butt, but feeling overly sensitive in her afterglow it makes her bite her lip. Not that he could see that.

Johnaya 10/29/2018 Ben lets out a weak "I don't know" amid his myriad pants, slowly refocusing his eyes. He can feel just how bloated he is now from her orgasm. One of his hands, wobbling like jelly, slowly moves back to touch at his stomach. He lets out a small moan and picks his head up some, giving Gwen a little more room to stroke him off. Not that he's sure he could cum much more. Right now at least. He's still hard enough but his cum just lazily drools out once more. "H-huh?" He gets a second to think about what she said before she thrusts against him again, making him gasp and squeak. His shaft twitches eagerly in her hand, throbbing against his belly. "Th-thank you, dork? N-no way! Why do I have to thank you anyway." While he spoke he couldn't help but grind his hips against her crotch, that little thrust of hers having gotten him, while not exactly horny again, definitely up for some more.

[REDACTED] 10/29/2018 Since they're both still erect, whether they're ready to go or not, Gwen uses this to her advantage by pressing her A-cups against his back again, although this time not leaning back at a weird angle so her head is next to his. She doesn't stop stroking. "Oh, so you /didn't/ like it? That's fine! I can keep it away from you from now... Nn! On!" She thrusts mid-sentence and makes herself squeak, but it shouldn't diminish her point any, especially when she runs her fingers over his tip mid-stroke and deliberately brushes the edge of the head with her thumb.

Johnaya 10/30/2018 If she had a bigger chest Ben would be much more intimidated. Still he can't help but groan as she presses against him, mostly because it drives her cock deeper inside of him again. "N-no I..." His voice is cut off when she thrusts again. He gasps loudly and slumps forward a little, gritting his teeth. The hand still sliding along his shaft was also making this much more difficult, in a good way. When her thumb plays with his tip he lets out a gentle moan before crying out. "A-alright, Gwen! Thank you for pounding my ass raw with your monster cock!" He gyrates his hips weakly against her, panting softly. "Keep going for as long as you need. Dork."

[REDACTED] 11/05/2018 "You're welcome!" She grins the way she does when she feels superior to Ben... Then smooches him on the cheek before pushing herself upright. "My cock is wet enough for this morning though." Squeezing both ass cheeks, she pushes Ben away from herself, keeping her crotch where it is. Her breath hitches a little from the oversensitive jolts of friction from the movement, making her toes curl a little from how long it takes to pull out such a long dick when you're not actually pulling your body away. By the time she's out she's far from being completely hard anymore, tip drooping and weakly grazing against Ben's sack.

Johnaya 11/05/2018 Ben lets out a barely audible "Aw..." before catching himself and burying his face in the pillow. Thankfully that prepares him for when Gwen starts moving. Or rather when she starts moving him. Groaning he feels his ass slide slowly off of Gwen's shaft, feeling each and every cum slick inch rub against his hole. His fingers grip tightly to the floor and he moans into the pillow, toes curling in arousal. Down below his cock twitches excitedly until, finally, he feels her monstrous cock pop out of him. If his hole was wrecked before it's now absolutely ruined, gaping open wide and lazily drooling a small bit of Gwen's jizz down his taint and over his balls. When her tip nudges his sack he gasps and picks his head up, letting out a needy moan as his shaft noisily smacks against his belly before he slumps back to the floor.

[REDACTED] 11/07/2018 Gwen grimaces lightly from the sensitivity as she goes to grab something to wipe her own cum off of herself. "Well, if you enjoyed it so much, maybe you can... get some more of it! Some time. If you can build up the nerve to ask me politely.~" She flutters her eyelashes. "... I'm kidding. We should both be casual about it." Stuffing her cock back into her underwear, she notices that Ben's kind of a wreck and pauses. "Need help, slut? Did I make you too heavy? Or your dick too hard?"

Johnaya 11/07/2018 As Gwen fully puts herself away Ben just sort of slumps forward, groaning as he puts pressure on his stomach. A fresh trail of jizz drools from his gaped asshole and he turns his head to face Gwen. He gives a weak thumbs up and grins before sloppily flipping himself over with his shaky arms. His belly wobbles gently and he can't help but gasp, cradling it with his hands as he leans back onto the floor. "I think you dicked me too hard. I'm not sure I can settle for other dicks now..." At this point he doesn't care admitting that to Gwen, especially since she seemed eager about going again later. Still his shaft throbs against his gravid stomach and he looks between it and Gwen. "I could use a hand though."

[REDACTED] 11/10/2018 Seeing Ben on the floor with a decently pregnant looking gut and nice, roomy gape, all caused by her, is a nice ego boost. And while she's definitely not going to say it, she's glad to have a new way to spend time with Ben. So while before she was only jacking him off while fucking him because it was hot, when he asks for help she purses her lips before calmly getting down to her knees to finish her new sub off. "Sure, but only because you've been so tolerable today." One hand around the base, one cupping his sack, she starts to lazily work both, squeezing and stroking gently. And not risking how short his fuse might be, she only takes one short lick beneath his tip before sliding it through her lips. She doesn't really fellate him, just licks and sucks on the head, but she does so a lot more happily and willingly than you would think given the way she's been handling things so far.

Johnaya 11/11/2018 Wow she was really going to do that? Just jerking him off would've been fine. Shakily he raises a hand to try and stop her but it's too late. By the time it's even visible she's already sucking his tip and stroking him. His hand forms into a fist and hits the ground again, Ben letting out a deep, guttural moan. "O-o-oh fuck. Gwen!" He gnaws on his bottom lip and rocks his hips to try and assist in her motions. Not that she needed the help. "Y-you're so good at this!" Pre-cum wells and drools from his tip, the rest of his cock twitching excitedly. It was pretty obvious he was getting close but it still seemed a little ways off, helped by the fact Ben was enjoying this too much to blow his load that quick. Even if he had just been so close while she was pounding his ass.

[REDACTED] 11/23/2018 "Mmmah." She pops her mouth off and starts circling his tip with her tongue for a moment. "You don't have to keep kissing my ass, Ben, I got my ego for the day. Not like I have much practice at this. But I /do/ enjoy it, so... " It's also much better than having to clean up more spooge than necessary. Her mouth closes around his cock again and she sucks on it, literally, while bobbing up and down by just an inch or so. The hand on his dick never stopped, but it does speed up now while her other one (carefully) squeezes his sack and massages his nuts. She keeps her eyes closed mostly, only stealing a few peeks up at Ben when he makes a particularly cute noise to see the face he's making. Stupid cute boys and their faces.

Johnaya 11/24/2018 Ben just looks at her and pouts. Or tries to at least, his face occasionally contorting in pleasure. "I-I'm not. At least I'm not trying to but maybe you, nnn, sucking my dick is making me want to compliment you more." His pouting face turns to one of pure pleasure now, having gotten the point across. He's panting heavily as Gwen bobs her head along his shaft. Pre-cum is drooling from his shaft like crazy and he's twitching excessively. It seems he's trying to hold off cumming for as long as he can, not wanting Gwen to stop. When her hand gropes his balls he lets out a deep, needy groan and tosses his head back. When he pulls it back up his tongue is partially hanging from his mouth and his eyes are half lidded, pupils darting in and out of the back of his head as he tries to focus. "A-almost..."

[REDACTED] 12/04/2018 Jeez, if she's going to do this for him the least he could do is make it quick. Oh well, she can still get a little more fun out of this. With a grunt she pushes his tip back until it's pressing at the entrance to her throat, making short bobs so that he repeatedly pokes against it. Then she, with one final squeeze, lets go of his sack. Instead that hand slides forward and nonchalantly slides her middle and ring fingers into his ass, which is open and inviting, if a little slimy with her own cum. It only takes a few seconds of poking around to find what she's looking for, and she carefully but firmly presses against his prostate with both fingers, massaging it to try to finish him off and maybe even increase how much of a treat she earns.

Johnaya 12/07/2018 For the briefest moment Ben contemplates trying to hold on for longer to get Gwen to give him a proper blowjob. To see just how well she could take dick as well as give it. Those thoughts are dashed when she starts prodding his tip against her throat, amazed he didn't hear her gagging. What was really shocking was the sudden fingers in his ass though, delving deep and rubbing against his prostate. Unable to hold it any longer he lets out deep, needy moans while his face goes pure pleasure. He tenses up as he starts to cum, the first rope shooting straight down Gwen's throat soon followed by another and another, hot spunk running like a river into her belly. He can't even talk, just babbling out Gwen's name while moaning, his orgasm dragging on as long as she presses against his prostate.

[REDACTED] 12/09/2018 The first blast of her cousin's jizz catches her off guard, and while she gets it down it leaves her off-kilter for the second, making her sputter as most of it leaks out of her mouth. After that she gets on top of it, holding his tip in place pressing just against her throat and swallowing repeatedly. Just like chugging a float, she steadily gulps it down while her fingers maintain a forceful circular motion, pushing his button again and again with rhythm. She milks him for her own amusement for at least thirty seconds before her fingers finally slide out, dripping with her own goo. To finish the job she braces herself and pop the head of his cock into her throat and pushes, getting a bulge halfway down her throat to show for it while she lets him finish unloading, eyes closed and humming the whole time.

Johnaya 12/13/2018 When Ben feels his own jizz splatter on his crotch he lets out a sharp gasp, his eyes refocusing to watch Gwen. Just looking at her face makes him shoot out another rope right down her throat. Of course that could also be because of her constant prostate mashing, each rub of her fingers sending shivers down Ben's spine. When Gwen finally takes him into her throat he lets out a deep, needy groan as he bites his bottom lip. His hands clench and unclench and he does something he was probably going to regret. In his haze of pleasure his hands shakily reach up towards Gwen and grab onto the back of her head. Smiling awkwardly at her he just starts to slowly push, feeling his shaft steadily get deeper into her throat, each new inch in her wet mouth accompanied by another shot of jizz.

[REDACTED] 12/14/2018 "MmmMMGH!" Her eyes briefly open in surprise before screwing shut again, failing to suppress her first gag but keeping the reflex in check afterwards through determination. Instead of fighting it, she moves her hand off of his dick and lets herself be pushed to the bottom, choking just a little bit again. Her hand instead grabs his sack once more, and firmly, to remind him of her dominance. Still, the other arm backhands his arm away, and she looks up at him angrily... Before aggressively deepthroating him, lips repeatedly pressing against his groin, looking directly at him all the while even while her eyes begin to water.

Johnaya 12/15/2018 Well he knew he was going to regret trying that but this wasn't how he had expected it. What was already probably the most intense orgasm of his teen life got even more so when his cousin's throat fully enveloped his cock. He almost pulled out when he felt her gag and choke around him but the firm hand on his balls made him squeak. And then she had started to move. He looks at her right in the eyes before his own cross and he moans loudly, jaw going slack. Ropes of spunk just continued onwards as his orgasm was dragged on and on, each squeeze of his balls making a fresh one shoot out. Slurred, with his tongue hanging from his mouth, he finally says "I g-g-give! Shorry, Gwen!" before his head slumps backwards, his hips weakly bucking up to meet her face.

[REDACTED] 01/06/2019 With a little smug hum, Gwen begins sliding off of her cousin's dick, feeling the cum flavor in her mouth get a little thicker the closer she comes to getting off, until there's one last spooge directly into her mouth before she gulps it down and pulls him out. She coughs a little into her arm, other hand pushing his dick against his belly so that any remaining squirts just end up on him. "Jeez you cum a lot for such a dweeb." Her free hand rubs the water out of her eyes while she lowers down again, this time opening wide and closing her lips around half of one of Ben's nuts. This isn't a continuation of service though, she gives it one short lick before sucking slightly too hard and letting it fall out. "Learn not to take advantage of me when I'm going out of my way to do something nice for you? Maybe I should only use your butt."

Johnaya 01/07/2019 Ben could only pant heavily as Gwen slowly pulled off of his shaft, each inch pulling from her mouth making him shiver. When he finally popped out he gave a sharp gasp as a final rope splattered onto his belly, nearly hitting him in the chin. It just drooled a few more drops of cum, twitching all the while, before finally stopping. Just as he's about to talk Gwen sucks on his nut and his cock swings up, Ben groaning deeply. "I th-think you sucked all the cum from my balls." His loose sack flops down again when Gwen lets go, Ben still panting heavily. "I said I was sorry! I couldn't help it since it was so good. I'll let you fuck my throat later to make up for it. If you want." Not knowing what else to do at the moment he just slowly sat up to look at Gwen, seeing her slightly wet eyes and spit covered lips. His cock gave a weak shudder before slowly starting to soften.

[REDACTED] Today at 10:57 PM Blinking her eyes clear, Gwen stands and stretches, her dick flaccid between her legs finally. "Hmm, deal. In fact..." While doing a little twist to stretch her waist and spine, she takes a peep at the clock. "I think they have a public pool in this town, not too far, but it should be basically empty this early. Wanna go... skinny dipping?" Putting on her best teasing smile, she opens one of of their clothing drawers and very deliberately puts on pants without getting underwear on first as Ben watches. Whatever she normally does to mask her dick, it's not working right now, a slightly damp lump clearly going down her pant leg. Without waiting for Ben's response, she starts shuffling towards the door.

Johnaya Today at 12:31 AM Though he was thoroughly drained at the moment he can't help but bite his lip as he watches Gwen stand up, eyes drawn to her flaccid cock slapping noisily against her thighs as she stretches. At her suggestion he can't help but laugh a little, slowly getting off the floor himself. "Skinny dipping? That sounds..." He stops when Gwen starts to put on her pants, eyes drawn to her ass, before going around to her front. Seeing that huge bulge down the side of her thigh has Ben gulping in arousal. Before he can make another comment she's already turned away and making her way towards the door. Frantically gets to his feet and starts throwing on his clothes, bumping against the table and seats, nearly falling over multiple times. He practically throws himself out the door after her, an intense blush on his face. "H-hey wait up!"

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squidproquoclarice · 6 years ago

Text

For Nonny, @proflucypreston, and a few others who expressed interest--that Garcy “morning after” scene. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They called them “White Nights”--Beliye Nochi--in Russia. Lucy could imagine that the bustle and urbanity and foreign splendor of St. Petersburg itself had been a giddy overload to Sophie, a rural princess of Anhalt-Zerbst (though “princesses” in pre-Imperial Germany were a dime a dozen as every obscure principality had one). She’d passed from girl to formidable, incredible woman there, and yet, Lucy had to wonder if there had been some childlike wonder left in Catherine the Great. The White Nights, where even at 3 AM the day only dimmed to a thin pale glow like light seen through a gossamer veil, must have been like magic, like a time where anything could happen.

Maybe they’d learned to rough it here in the Alaskan wilderness rather than enjoying the urbane comforts of St. Petersburg, but they’d all made the most of the extended light throughout the spring and summer, especially after the bleak winter darkness.

Last night certainly was no exception. She wasn’t sure exactly when they’d slept, but felt like it had been somewhere in that false twilight. Shrugging on her robe, she glanced over at the bed, and had to grin at the thought that Catherine the Great had adored tall Slavic men too. If they ever went to late 18th century St. Petersburg, she’d have to make sure Catherine didn’t take an interest in making Garcia her latest lover. Not that she’d have to be concerned that he would reciprocate the interest.

Even tired as she was, she expected a giddiness to be flowing and roiling within her. She’d waited for this through months of growing anticipation, longing, and general raging sexual frustration. She’d usually felt that after the first time, joy at once again being chosen, the headiness of passion burst into full bloom, and excitedly wondering where it all would go.

The manic glee wasn’t there, but it wasn’t disappointment or a lack of feeling. Something about all of this was quieter, a steady journey rather than a wild ride. But we definitely had that last night, she thought, holding back an awkward giggle. Maybe it was because she didn’t have to hope so furiously this time, and she knew where it went. She crossed back over to the bed, looking where Garcia lay still half-curled around where she’d just slipped out from under the covers. He looked peaceful for once, the lines of tension eased out of his expression. She itched to reach out and smooth that unruly hair tousled both by sleep and by her hands, to once again touch him. Maybe even wake him up, because as much as anything, she loved how they could just talk for hours.

But other needs called at the moment too. Padding barefoot to the door, the wooden floor warm beneath her feet in the summer morning, she quietly opened it and slipped through, though the hinge creaked in a way that made her wince. Thought perhaps she heard a soft murmur behind her. Bathroom stop accomplished, she went to the kitchen and grabbed an aluminum water bottle from the rack and filled it. No need to get precious and take a separate one for him given what they’d been up to last night. Too early for coffee yet--5 AM--but water would be good. Through the window she saw Jiya and Mason heading for the shed, obviously driven to go work on the Lifeboat. She winced, hoping she and Garcia hadn’t been too loud last night. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Jiya, especially given they were likely a couple of months yet from getting the Lifeboat upgrade done given the repairs after the Great Chicago Fire mission that kept them limping along two steps behind Rittenhouse through most of the winter. She’d been that person in the bunker, forced to huddle up in bed to contain that aching hollow of loss and loneliness while overhearing and sort of envying and resenting other people’s enthusiastic sex lives. (He’d mentioned something about it in San Antonio--had Garcia been doing the same?) At least she’d given Rufus and Jiya a little more time together by moving out onto the couch.

Water bottle in hand, she headed back to bed. Opening the door and admitting that yes, that hinge needed some WD-40 like every other damn thing in this cabin, she found him awake and sitting up beneath the covers, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. At the sound of the hinge, he looked up, and the expression on his face as he looked at her was a mixture of wonder and relief. Something twisted painfully in her to see it, because she recognized it all too well. “Did you really think I wasn’t coming back?”

“I figured I didn’t give you much reason to stay.” Garcia Flynn, master of time but not necessarily of timing, trying to brush her off with a glib joke. Though she heard the bleak reality behind the attempted self-deprecating sass, and knew he wasn’t talking about sexual performance. No complaints on that end, anyway. She gave him her warmest fake ‘70s stewardess smile--perfected when they’d tried to catch D.B. Cooper. Should have figured he was a Rittenhouse sleeper, and that’s why the man and cash had utterly vanished. “Nothing to apologize for,” she chirped, sitting down on the bed beside him. “You were a gentle and responsive lover.”

It had surprised her to discover how much she loved to hear him laugh. Not the sarcastic bark or a snarky chuckle, but actual laughter, genuine and warm. Hand over his face, leaning forward and shoulders shaking with it. “You’ve been waiting to use that, haven’t you?”

Of course she’d kept that one in her back pocket, ever since she’d moved sleeping with Garcia Flynn from the realm of unrealistic sex dream or momentary fantasy Lucy Preston sometimes has into an actual possibility. She smiled at him, handing over the water bottle. “Never let it be said I’m not patient.”

He looked at her, and that soft expression came over his features. “You are.”

From the moment of humor to cut through the potential awkwardness, she launched right into that disarming honesty they had, though the segue no longer seemed strange. “Did you really think I wasn’t coming back?”

Taking a few sips of water, he put the bottle on the nightstand. “For a moment, maybe, yes.” His eyes met hers, level and intense. “That’s me. No reflection on you.”

“Something else,” she guessed, from the way his eyes dropped again, and not in that bashful way he had. Plus his body was still half-turned away from her. “Tell me,” she pleaded. She couldn’t help fix it if he wouldn’t tell her.

He hesitated, glancing away towards the window, and it said plenty that he trusted her enough to give in. Though the word--name--was so soft when he did say it that she barely heard him. “Lorena.” He cleared his throat, and his voice was stronger now, but his accent thickened in the way it did when he was emotional. “Again, that’s mine, not yours, but…”

She cut him off, unable to help herself. “Were you thinking of her last night?” It came across harsher than she intended, but the momentary panic of inferiority sprung up and she couldn’t help herself. Her mother and all her criticisms, and being good enough for all of Wyatt’s attention whenever Jessica was either dead or chose Rittenhouse, and when Jess was in the picture, she was only enough for him to expect her to wait around for him and not pick anyone else. Little “Never Good Enough” Lucy Preston. Now she couldn’t look at him, embarrassed by what a jealous shrew she sounded like. She looked at the door instead, almost wishing she’d never gotten up and never left this bed, because the spell had been broken and now here was the messy reality. “That’s--that’s mine. Not yours.”

“Last night, no. This morning, yes.” She glanced back over her shoulder at him. He ran a hand quickly and nervously through his hair, words awkward and gruff and rushed. “Oprosti, Lucy, sorry, žao mi je, didn’t mean you to--fuck! I’m sorry. I’m not…I haven’t…I’m not good. At this.” He waved a hand vaguely indicating nothing in particular. “With someone new.” Flurried and broken sentences, and he sounded lost, like a child afraid of having disappointed her too much for her to keep him.

He’d told her back in that bunker that he’d had two lovers in his life, both for years. The first was Danilbek, his brother-in-arms in Chechnya and beyond. The second was Lorena. The third, now, was her. No, when he was a man who loved his lovers fiercely enough that he’d been willing to destroy himself and anything in his way to bring one of them back, and hadn’t touched anyone in nearly five years since Lorena’s death, she doubted very much that he was quote unquote “good at this”. She wasn’t exactly carving too many notches on bedposts herself, late bloomer and dedicated academic that she’d been, and awkward dork that she still was, but it was something of a novelty to be the more experienced one. Though she didn’t have experience in this. She’d had her heart broken a few times--by Mandy especially--had kicked Liam to the curb in scorned-girlfriend rage, and all of that, but she’d never had to say goodbye to a lover she’d had for years, who’d died. Her breakups hurt, but mostly they hurt her feelings and her self-worth. They hadn’t cut her right through her soul.

She breathed in deeply herself, trying to find her own center in this. For her, she’d been relieved last night to finally move beyond the ghost of all of her and Wyatt’s failed futures. It was more complicated for Garcia. But it was her name on his lips, not Lorena’s. He hadn’t closed his eyes, hadn’t had that vague distant look of being four thousand miles and dozen years away mentally. It had been Lucy Preston he’d kissed, touched, pressed back into that mattress. She’d had all of him, still had all of him. She didn’t need to be jealous of momentary thoughts of a dead woman as he carefully closed one more door to his old life. He’d made love with Lucy and in doing so, given up another of the few pieces of himself left that belonged to Lorena. If anything, the feeling filling her now was a sort of humbled awe that she’d somehow be enough to move forward with, that he’d trust her with those parts of himself now. She scooted closer to him, reached out and slipped an arm around him, relieved when the tension in him started to ease and he leaned into her embrace, his arm going around her in turn. “It’s OK. I get it. You needed a moment to let go of her.”

“Yes.” Now his head turned back towards her, eyes and expression calmer and eyes full of grateful relief that he hadn’t needed to find the words. Yeah, they’d be all right. She could be mature enough to not resent that he’d had a bittersweet moment after spending the night with her, and make that next step in mourning all about her. Not everything had to be rainbows and unicorns. And it wasn’t like he was taking potshots at her for any of her past lovers, Wyatt included. He’d never once flung that one in her face, and God knew Wyatt had given him plenty of reason with how petty and dickish his insecurities could make him. At least they’d finally gotten to a place where Wyatt could say, OK, I don’t get it, but if he makes you happy, I’m happy for you.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about that. That I took something fro--”

He interrupted, which he rarely did, but there was a blaze of emotion in his eyes, furious and indignant, as he reached up and took her free hand in his. “You took nothing. I gave Lorena up. And I did it willingly.” He turned her hand over in his, brought them to his lips, and kissed her palm. He looked at her over their joined hands, that wild light still in his eyes as if daring her to contradict him as he said, “You’re enough, you know. More than enough. As you always have been and always will be.”

It wasn’t only the warm exhalation of his breath against her hand that was still barely an inch from his face, and the intensity of his gaze, that sent a slow shiver down her spine all the way down to where the tension and heat started to coil again low in her belly. It was on the tip of her tongue to make her own glib comment, something like, You really know how to make a girl feel special, Garcia Flynn, because she could barely breathe, it was all too much and she would collapse under the weight of it. But she couldn’t cheapen what he’d said by being flippant about it. And finally the weight held, and the safe harbor of what he’d said filled her.

Well, they’d always been good without words too. She let go his hand, and hitched up to her knees, turned to face him. She reached out, put her hands on his shoulders--careful to not put too much pressure on the still-sensitive knot of scar tissue on the right side--and pushed him back against the pillows.

But then she did need a few more words. Because he’d been a child insecure in his parents’ love, and then he’d become someone, something, so bitterly ashamed and feeling like he deserved nothing. They’d both walked in the darkness for so long. Their battered and bruised souls needed this, their own White Night; to step into a light that might wax and wane, but would never entirely go out. “Don’t ever say you don’t deserve me, Garcia. Because you’re enough too. More than enough. As you always have been and always will be.” Echoing his words somehow felt like the solemnity of a vow between them, and it felt right.

She’d found she loved his smile too, that slow, sweet, unguarded one that lit up his face and crinkled the corners of his eyes. Holding his eyes with hers, untying the sash of her robe and shrugging it from her shoulders, she leaned down to kiss him. There were a few hours yet before breakfast, after all.

#garcy #timeless #garcia flynn #lucy preston #fic

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mikeshanlon · 7 years ago

Text

he’s all that: chapter one

fandom: it

pairing: reddie (richie tozier/eddie kaspbrak)

word count: 3.8k

on ao3

summary:

Richie smiled smugly, “You’ve got spunk Kaspbrak. I like that.”

“Why don’t you try shutting the fuck up Tozier,” Eddie retorted as the line moved forward, “So what is this, if not some ploy to get me to tutor you? Some sort of dork outreach program? Because I’m not interested.”

---

Or: The one where Richie Tozier has six weeks to get into a relationship and make someone fall for him. Only problem? That someone is the anxiety ridden, goody two shoes Eddie Kaspbrak, and he can't even stand to be in the same room as Richie.

warnings: there is drug use in that bev/mike/richie are HUGE stoners.

a/n: hello!!! hope you enjoy this fic, i will try to update it at least every other sunday (i'll figure out the exact number of chapters before i post chapter two, but it probably won't be more than 10). you don't need to have watched she's all that to get this, although there will be some small easter eggs/quotes from the movie. but the movie has not aged well and is very Heteronormative so like.... no need to watch it lmao.

Senior year— it was what just about any kid in the public schooling system looked forward to. You were high school royalty, enjoying the last hurrah with booze and dancing before being sent off to make your mark on the world. Lanky limbs that weren’t yet grown into became muscled and toned, hips were wider and swayed. Brains were wiser, skin was touched more, and smiles were brighter. It was a time of transformation and change.

Except, senior year was almost over, and Richie Tozier felt like he hadn’t really changed at all. Sure, in the last four years he shot up to 6’2, his voice was deeper, and he wasn’t such a fucking outcast; but really nothing else felt different. He still only passed his classes on genius alone, had a problem respecting authority figures (partially due to the fact that his parents were still pieces of shit), and never knew when to shut the fuck up.

Derry, Maine itself stayed the same too, like a town in a snow globe encased with mom-and-pop businesses and ignorance. Other than iPhones, the small Starbucks on the corner of Main and Belmont, and the fact that the townspeople were slightly less homophobic and racist (slightly being the operative word); Derry was pretty much a time capsule for banana bikes, bullies, and double features with popcorn that had too much salt and not enough butter.

Take the cliques and social hierarchy-- a staple in any American high school, especially one in a small town. Despite it being the 21st century, the cafeteria still had tables for jocks, geeks, nerds, and preps, straight from some 80’s or 90’s teen flick.

Richie, like most things in his life, didn’t necessarily fit into one group or the other, toeing the line between social pariah and popular party dude. He supposed it was the side effects of being the class clown with too-big-for-his-face glasses, a diagnosis for ADHD, and his tendency blazing at any given moment. Funny and wild enough to show up to any party, but not exactly cool enough to hang out with for anything else.

Honestly, it didn’t matter either way, because instead of worrying about what table to eat the cafeteria’s barely edible food at, Richie usually spent his lunch smoking with his friends. It was time to catch up and unwind before the last few classes of the day— and there was no way he could get through chemistry without being high.

As soon as the shrill bell rang, Richie hopped out of his seat, grabbing his shit before placing his (probably failed) history quiz on the teacher’s desk on his way out into the halls.

He weaved through the couples sucking face and the worried AP students, his unruly black curls bouncing like a hyperactive halo around his head as he walked towards his locker.

“‘Sup Tozier!” someone called out to him, a familiar face at the weekend ragers, although he never learned his actual name.

Richie nodded, “Hey, what’s up Keg King?”

“Not much. Hey, you coming to see me defend my title this weekend?”

“Wouldn't miss it for the world,” Richie smiled lazily, patting the other boy on the back before strolling along.

It wasn’t a coincidence that his smile faltered as he passed what was left of the Bower’s gang. He and Hockstetter had graduated the year prior, although like most bumfuck racists hellbent on beating up ‘dorks and queers’, they stayed in Derry. The remaining two, Belch and Victor Criss, weren’t nearly as powerful or psychotic as their elders, but they had a reputation to uphold. They weren’t exactly slamming him down on the asphalt in front of the arcade like they did in middle school, but they weren’t friendly either. Mutual respect was even a stretch. He’d enjoy seeing them get their asses handed to them, and he was sure they felt the same.

Richie popped open his locker, catching the loose papers and pencils that inevitably fell out. A small mirror hung on the blue metal door, rendered practically useless because of all the smudges covering it. The remaining space was littered with stickers of indie bands, and post-its with doodles and notes to himself or from his friends.

Have a great day trashmouth <3- bevs

Sparknotes ‘Pygmalion’

Come to the quarry after school!-mike

It’s a good day to be gay

Next time u get drunk enough 2 facetime us reading the entire bee movie script pls invite us so we dont have 2 deal w/ that sober- b+m

Buy more cigs and weed

U lewk hott big sexxxi ;) - xoxo

Richie was unashamed to say he wrote the last one to himself one day when he looked particularly good.

He struggled to stuff his history folder into the looming mess, but eventually crammed it in there, slamming the door shut before anything else could fall out.

After checking that he did indeed have his lighter, bag of weed, and papers in his denim jacket, Richie made his way to their usual spot. They liked to smoke at the stairs behind the art room, which was tucked away in the back of the school, overlooking the field that separated them and the middle schoolers.

Throwing open the orange door to the stairs in his usual dramatic fashion, he found his two closest friends, “Ms. Marsh, Lord Michael, how fare thee chaps today?” Richie greeted in his (awful) british accent.

Beverly Marsh rolled her eyes as she lit her joint, “Fine, until I heard that horrible voice.”

Richie threw a hand on his chest, a pained expression painted on his face, “Oh, how you hurt me so.”

“Hey, I mean it is his best impression,” Mike Hanlon commented from the steps, fist bumping Richie as he sat down across from Beverly on the top of the stairs, back to the railing. The sweet boy lit up the bowl in his pipe, inhaling deeply.

“Aw, thank you Mikey, you sure know how to make a girl swoon,” he cooed, mimicking a southern belle.

“Well, you don’t really have any good one’s in the first place,” Mike smirked, blowing out the smoke in his mouth while Beverly snorted, taking another drag.

Richie rolled his eyes, taking out his bag of weed, “Fuck off Hanlon.”

Mike extended an olive branch in the form of paper lunch bag filled with a sandwich, chips, and a can of coke. It was a daily occurrence for them— the Tozier’s rarely had any food, and even if Richie wanted to eat from the cafeteria, he didn’t exactly get a lot of money from them.

“My upcoming munchies thank you dear friend.”

He opened his bag of weed, attempting to balance the paper on his knees so he could roll his own joint. This failed miserably as the weed fell out, getting all over his Radiohead t-shirt.

“Shit.”

Beverly sighed, holding out her hand, “Let me roll it Tozier, you and I both know I’m better at it anyways.”

“What?! I’m perfectly capable of doing it by myself. I roll a damn good joint Marsh,” he shot back incredulously.

She plucked a stray piece of weed and gave him a pointed look. Richie groaned before handing his stuff over, Beverly handing him her own joint to smoke on in the meantime.

“How’s your day been Rich?” Mike asked from his spot on the steps. Typical farm boy, concerned with his friends. Richie often wondered how such an angelic person hung out with him and Bev, but Mike had his fair share of rebellious traits.

“Ah, well, you can tell it’s been just dandy. I can’t wait till we get out of this fucking hell hole,” Richie scoffed before taking a hit.

“Only seven more weeks,” Beverly reminded, eyes and hands focused on rolling.

Mike nodded, “Crazy. Can’t believe we’re finally graduating.”

“Thank fucking god, Derry is a suffocating shithole,” he said, “I know I’m an idiot, but Jesus, everyone here is a fucking bigot.”

“Yeah,” Mike agreed, not saying much else. They understood. It was hard being one of the only black kids in school, let alone pansexual (although most people didn’t know this about him). The prejudice he faced wasn’t something he often spoke about, trying to be as positive as possible.

“This kid in english was saying bisexuals are sluts today,” Richie successfully blew a few smoke rings, “Like, I am one, but not because of my sexuality, asswipe.”

Bev laughed humorlessly, handing Richie the freshly rolled joint and taking back her own, “No need to tell me what that’s like.”

No, the redhead had been getting called a slut over nothing since the seventh grade; the rumors and shaming only getting worse when she too came out as bi.

A comfortable and reflective silence fell over the three, occupied with their thoughts and getting high. Richie placed the joint in between his chapped lips; struggling to light the tip as his white lighter sputtered, on it’s last moments of life. Mumbled expletives fell out of his mouth before he was successful, inhaling deeply and holding the smoke in before letting it all escape.

His dark brown eyes scanned the poorly maintained sports field, filled mostly with middle schoolers running around and yelling. Part of him envied the carefree nature of it all, but the other remembered how fucking shitty middle school was and any jealousy washed away.

Not too far from them was what was dubbed as ‘the kissing tree’. The old trunk was littered with carvings, initials surrounded by hearts claiming that their love was ‘forever’. It was juvenile, small town as fuck, and heteronormative— though most things surrounding romance in Derry were.

Of course, Richie had been obsessed with it as a preteen, and knew his own name was on there (a few times).

What caught his eye now were the couple under it, making out passionately, flush against one another, like if they stopped they’d die.

Honestly, that would be preferable, as one of them was Gretta Keene, one of Richie’s biggest mistakes.

Gretta was one of the most popular girls in school, and she was also a grade A bitch. Her green eyes sent glares akin to daggers, and her lipgloss covered lips provided insults that went too far. Including frequently calling Beverly a slut.

It wasn’t like Richie had a huge crush on her or anything. Their relationship was merely born from constantly being at the same parties, cross faded and wanting a quick hook up to distract themselves. Mike had commented that it was only a matter of time, except one became many more, despite the fact that Gretta only got with jocks.

Their arrangement caused Bev to freeze Richie out for two months last semester, breaking their four year streak for best couples costume at Betty Ripsom’s annual Halloween Party. Bev was more important to him by a long shot, but per usual, he kept fucking everything up.

Most of their ‘moments’ were shared in some stranger's bed, or dancing in a kitschy living room to pop music, sharing a blunt or swigs from a bottle of whiskey. None of it was on purpose, but rather a byproduct of being intoxicated and having a high sex drive.

In fact, they had only been on two actual dates when they were together. The first was at the drive-in a town over, the pair sat in Richie’s beat up station wagon, some shitty b-movie playing on the large projector. Gretta shared a pack of cigarettes with him, and it was probably the only kind thing she had ever done. Richie tried to make conversation, so that their relationship actually had some sort of substance other than weed and alcohol; but Gretta quickly shut him up, sticking her cherry coke flavored tongue down his throat.

He took her out to his favorite diner for their other date, figuring that they might have a chance to actually get to know one another without an acceptable place to make out. They sat on opposite sides of a booth outlooking Main street, an old-timey song playing on the jukebox.

This plan proved to be a grave mistake, because Richie finally understood why Bev often said, “Satan himself thinks Gretta Keene is too cruel.”

He repressed the memory, if he remembered it he’d get too pissed off. Instead, Richie thought of their break-up, how she had beat him to the punch.

He had been waiting at her locker, leaning against #405 and picking at his nails, humming a song by The Smiths under his breath. Gretta approached, clad in a pink mini-skirt and a tight crop top, smacking her half-priced bubblegum.

Richie cleared his throat, standing upright, ready to chew her the fuck out for being such a horrible person, “Gretta, let’s talk—“

“We’re through Tozier.”

“What the fuck?!” He had gaped at her, “No, I was going to breakup with you!”

Gretta shooed him away with her manicured hands, “Please, you’re a fucking nobody. Irrelevant. You should be glad we even fucked around this long.”

A small crowd had formed around the two, “You’re the one who kept coming back for more.”

“And you’re the one who actually thought this could be something. So cute. But I don’t date losers and I don’t date attention-whores like you.”

Like he said, grade A bitch.

“Jealous?” Mike snapped Richie from his thoughts.

His cheeks reddened, embarrassed that he was caught staring, “What? No. I pity the poor bastard that’s with her. Fucking breath smells like a fucking dog ate a pack of Winston’s. Straight up ass.”

Beverly chuckled, but her eyes held a little bit of resentment, “You used to smoke those Winston’s with her.”

“I thought we had an agreement that we would never speak of the Great Gretta Keene Mistake again?”

“Sure, but you’re the one watching her,” Mike pointed out, packing a new bowl, “Missing the one that got away?”

The other boy’s tone was joking but Richie sent him a glare, “She’s fucking irrelevant to me okay?”

They hummed in agreement, but he could see the slight doubt on their faces.

Richie ripped open his bag of chips and threw one in his mouth, “She thinks she’s such hot fucking shit, but she’s so replaceable.”

“Richie, it’s rude to speak with your mouth full,” Mike admonished his bad manners.

“That’s not what your ol’ pops said last night when I was suck-“

“Beep beep, Richie,” Mike warned.

Bev shook her head, “Really Rich? His grandpa?”

“When opportunity strikes,” he flashed a shit eating grin before taking another hit.

“Anyways, while I second the sentiment that Gretta isn’t all that, you haven’t exactly had a relationship since her,” Bev accused.

“Okay, what the fuck is this, ‘pick on Richie day’?” he said, readjusting his position, “Besides, I’ve been with plenty of other people.”

“Please, this isn’t middle school, and I’m still not buying the whole ‘my bedpost is covered in notches’ bit,” Bev inspected the joint between her fingers, now just a stub.

“Well, obviously it’s not. I’ve had sex in many different beds. Yours included,” Richie smirked.

“Beep beep. You know you aren’t allowed over after you almost burned down my aunt’s apartment.”

“The apartment was fine. Everyone knows if you put the temperature up super high food cooks faster. Those tater-tots would’ve been delicious. Bon-appetit,” Richie spoke in a poor french accent, and his eyes widened, “Bon-appetot. Bon-appetatertot.”

He fell into a fit of giggles and Mike chuckled across from him.

“You are a walking disaster Richie Tozier,” Bev said, though an amused smile sat on her lips.

“Richie’s poor life choices aside… One night stands and drunken make out sessions don’t count,” Mike returned to their previous topic, “I mean something sort of serious. Something you put effort into.”

“I don’t put effort into anything Michael dear,” Richie countered.

“Not true. You put effort into a lot of dumb shit,” Bev put out her joint, “Like when you tried to climb the water tower at 3 am naked. Or the time you tried to get the principal to grind with you at homecoming.”

“You can’t blame me for that. Mrs. Marton is a vixen. Can’t believe she resisted my charms.”

Mike laughed, shaking his head, “Point is, it kinda seems like you’re stuck in a rut.”

“I get plenty of action,” Richie boasted, taking a drag from his joint, “Plus, I could make any girl or guy in this piece of shit school fall in love with me.”

“That a bet?” Bev grinned mischievously.

“You know what, why the fuck not?” Richie shrugged. He was bored, and he wanted his friends off his fucking back, “Terms and conditions?”

“Mike and I get to choose the sorry fuck who you’ll be pursuing—“

“No, I don’t wanna be a part of this. Isn’t it kinda fucked up? Getting with someone for a bet? Why don’t you just try to date someone without an ulterior motive?” Mike suggested.

Richie rolled his eyes, adopting an Australian accent, “Now where’s the fun in that mate?”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“You get till prom to sweep this person off their feet. A committed relationship, not just a hookup. If you win I’ll get you a shit ton of the finest weed the county can offer,” Bev continued, “If you lose—“

“No need to tell me, because I won’t fail,” Richie smirked, “I’m a total knockout.”

Bev’s face mirrored his own, “Fine, it’s your funeral.”

Both of them spit into their palms before shaking their hands, bonding the bet.

“C’mon, let’s go find them— you only have six weeks.”

The three of them packed up their shit, passing around the rest of Richie’s joint so it wouldn’t go to waste before they headed inside. Bev spritzed some perfume on them in an attempt to mask the smell of weed, making Richie smell fruity and floral. He popped a stick of spearmint gum in his mouth, deciding to save his sandwich for AP Calc next block.

It was a rare occurrence for them to roam the halls before the lunch bell rang, so a few of the students stared at them as they went on their search. Mike smiled at just about everyone they passed, a fucking angel per usual.

“What about him, he’s kinda cute,” Bev suggested, nodding her head to a blonde boy holding a skateboard.

Richie shook his head, “We made out at that beach bonfire over the summer. He almost vommed in my fucking mouth. The money maker! These beautiful lips are fuckin sacred— how could I smooch and tell amazing jokes if he fucked em up? These babies ooze charisma and sex appeal.”

“More like ooze bullshit,” Mike quipped.

“I think you’re just jealous that you won’t be the one I’m wooing Mike n Ike.”

Bev snorted, “I pity the poor fuck who you’ll be annoying till prom,” her eyes lit up, and she turned to Mike, “Hey, we might be able to enjoy some peace and quiet for a while!”

“The minute we became best friends with Richie I gave up all hope for tranquility.”

“Hey!” He protested, although Mike was right.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” the other boy finished sweetly.

Richie planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek, “Oh Mikey, you are the most wholesome-est boy I ever did meet,” he slipped into his southern belle persona, “What about you Bevvy darlin’, got any words to butter up my biscuit? To milk my udder?”

She rolled her eyes and continued walking ahead of them, turning into another hallway.

“Fine, I know you love me Marsh,” Richie used his long lanky legs to his advantage, catching up to stroll alongside her quickly, “What about Betty Ripsom?”

Bev scoffed, “Please, too easy.”

“What?! She’s like, a good ol’ Christian girl. I’m a deviant! My skype username used to be tozier666! Or wait, it was tozier42069… I can’t remember.”

“C’mon Richie, we all know she had a massive crush on you freshman year,” Bev replied.

Mike nodded in agreement, “You wouldn’t shut up about it.”

“Like most things,” Bev said, “Anyways, you’d just use that to your advantage. Although, I am liking the whole ‘polar opposite’ approach.”

Richie groaned, of course he had a hand in his own misfortune.

They continued to travel the halls, Beverly’s baby blue eyes scouring for a victim.

“You sure are digging your own grave today Rich,” Mike commented.

Richie nodded, “R.I.P. Richard Tozier. Big Mouth and even Bigger Wan—“

“Found ‘em,” Bev interrupted, a grin on her face.

She pointed down the hallway in front of them, where two boys conversated as everyone walked around them. The taller one had auburn hair, and was lanky like Richie, although the other boy seemed a little more muscular. The other looked like a fucking middle schooler, and Richie wasn’t sure how the little brat even got in there.

It took a minute, but Richie realized that he did actually recognize them. They didn’t interact much, not being in the same circles, but the two boys had been going to school with him since the days of recess. And they had been bullied since then too.

So, correction, she pointed to where two of the biggest losers in school were talking about what was presumably some nerdy shit. Great.

“What, Big Bill?” Richie raised an eyebrow, “He’s not too bad. Ignore the stutter and the fact that he’s best friends with total dorks and you have a shy lil cutie. Nice handiwork Marsh.”

“You know, you’re a total dork and we’re still friends with you,” Mike quipped, his own way of chastising Richie.

Bev shook her head ‘no’, “Not Denbrough, the other one.”

Richie’s eyes settled on the smaller boy, and the realization that he was totally and utterly fucked set in.

Eddie Kaspbrak. The kid peaked at 5’6, and his lack of muscles along with the fact that he wore an honest to fucking god fanny pack didn’t help his 12 year old boy appearance. Of course, the fanny pack got worse— it was full of pills, eye drops, hand sanitizer, lotion, chapstick, and most importantly, his inhaler. Yes, Eddie was a fucking asthmatic hypochondriac and germaphobe, with an equally insane mother. Richie didn’t doubt that the asshole spent more time perusing WebMD than texting or checking social media.

He wore chunky turtlenecks in the winter, and in the hotter months, his tanned legs adorned tube socks and short-shorts (they were awful, although Richie had to admit they made his ass look great). His small hands gripped onto his stuffed backpack (kid already had a fanny pack full of shit, what else did he have to bring to school?). Eddie’s brown hair was always found in a overly gelled comb over, not a hair out of place. He reminded Richie of an off-brand Fred Savage with severe anxiety.

Mostly, Richie knew Eddie Kaspbrak would hate just about every little thing he did. There was no way they’d even be friends, let alone anything more.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me Bev.”

a/n: thanks for reading!!! richie and eddie will actually talk next chapter, don't worry. also for any concerned about the gretta/richie thing it's not Too Big of a Deal as it is in the movie, i just need it for some plot points (but overall richie is like 100% over gretta and it was just something stupid he did).

#reddie #richie x eddie #it fic #reddie fic #he's all that #my fic #yeah idk what to tag this as go read it on ao3 wlnglerngerlgknrglkerng

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