#the quality of these games do not come from the potential of a sequel

[salbertwolf]

The earth shattering realization the game you have played is the only one like it, there is no other game, there isn't a world like it and you are cursed with that knowledge and abandonment for it, you are happier to have known and experienced the joys of playing, have come out wiser for it, but you'll never get anything like it again.

[miiilowo]

Highlights / Notable info from the second Scott Cawthon Dawko interview for people who don't want to watch it

MISC/START OF INTERVIEW

- scott says the 1 thing he'd wanna go back and change/fix the past 10 years is FNAF world; said a lot of weird/bad decisions were made going into it, that he didn't like the graphics and it Could Have been a good game but he doesn't like it overall & he may consider making an improved sequel

- he was scared to hand FNAF over to steel wool but he thinks he got lucky w/ them

- refuses to play both FNAF VR games because they genuinely scare him too much; didn't want to beta test them (funny)

- he very much knows the fandom prefers pure horror and the supernatural but cant resist leaning into scifi stuff

- doesn't like the names burntrap and glitchtrap and they were supposed to be temporary

SECURITY BREACH

- half blames covid splitting up steel wools workforce for the games lack of quality and delays

- says his "vision of the game" was misaligned with steel wool, that he had a "very specific story in mind" for security breach and it didnt pan out like he wanted

- he takes fault for it, saying he conveyed it in a bad way; "I was trying to tell steel wool to do specific things throughout the game, put specific items in specific places, have specific characters do certain things, meanwhile not TELLING them what the story plot was. Because in my head, I was thinking 'Okay, when people find this, they'll connect this to this to this & it will all be revealed, and I thought I could do that without telling steel wool the story plot. That didn't work out very well because they got all of these pieces, and they thought it was their job to connect them in a way that made sense. And so really what you ended up having were the same pieces telling completely different stories...I don't blame them for that, I blame myself for that, because what I should have done was gone 'hey, heres the story, the pieces are here, here's how theyre supposed to connect'."

- burntrap originally even supposed to move; just supposed to see something you saw in between machinery or in corners, that you werent supposed to know his purpose even though he used to have a very specific one (that the fandom doesnt know)

- he knows it didnt turn out like anyone wanted & thats why they made the RUIN dlc, he hopes it redeemed security breach

- he said hes learned from that mistake with security breach and things should be better in the future

- he cannot share any thoughts on the mimic

- he likes vanny a lot, shes one of his favorites and he thinks that shes underutilized and should get more spotlight in the future

THE BOOKS

- process is 'he has an idea, he proposes it to the writers, they flesh it out'

- he likes bunny call the most, and that it's not entirely made up; he took his family to a summer camp. 2 older kids 2 babies. one of the things you could sign up for was a 'panda call' . a very 'deceiving title', he says. early in the morning, a bunch of the camp counselors dressed as killer clowns would come into your cabin and scare the kids to wake them up early and drag them off to do their daily activities (?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????) and he knew this was the case, & before it happened he started to sort of feel bad that he signed up his two youngest kids for it so he crept outside in the dark and 'started listening for screams' early in the morning. 'somewhere in the dark in these trees theres clowns and theyre coming for my cabin'

- acknowledges the fazgoo is weird and bad.

- the 'creature on the cover of blackbird is my sleep paralysis demon' (quite literally)

- says his least favorite story is the guy getting pregnant with springtrap's baby and that he Doesnt Know What He Was Thinking, that he swears he 'wasnt trying to pick on matpat'

- he says theres potential for the books to be adapted into shorts goosebumps style, but hes afraid it might be 'too much' and oversaturate the franchise

THE MOVIE

- he says a big issue was that there was material thats difficult to translate to the big screen; the nuance of the antagonists being that the animatronics are possessed by the spirits of innocent children, and he wanted to preserve the innocence of the victims while also having the horror and the kills, and thats a big part of why several screenplays got scrapped; he was more picky/cautious about that than anything else

- says the victims are sort of like 'confused, scared animals backed into a corner, who believe that adults are out to get them' & thats part of why they kill people + the manipulation from william afton

- he likes the movie overall but thinks specific things could be improved and they aim to do that with the second movie, but doesn't want to dwell on those shortcomings too much

- hes perfectly happy with critics hating it but the fanbase loving it & that was his goal for it

- when the movie began showing in theatres he said: 'i told myself i wasnt gonna go online i wasnt gonna read any reviews i had already told everybody at blumhouse and i told my legal team DONT talk to me DONT call me DONT email me DONT send me charts DONT send me facts or figures i dont want hear ANYTHING', saw 1 negative review on accident then started reading all of them immediately before the 2nd showing even happened

- 'for a couple of hours there i was distraught, i thought it was a complete disaster' (based off the initial negative critic reviews, before learning how much the fans loved it)

SECOND MOVIE

- Not giving away many details, but following the same formula; 1st movie based on 1st game, 2nd movie based on 2nd game, etc

- Thinks people will like it, that the setup for the 1st movie was the hardest part but now that they have that launch pad to go off of and hes really fond of what they have planned

- Emma Tammi is also directing the second one

INTO THE PIT GAME

- was originally just supposed to be a short novelty game, but they made something really good and he encouraged them to keep going & its turned into a full-fledged game

- he says its going to be a very 'unique experience' and that everyone will like it a lot

- says working with megacat (studio for the game) has been 'weird but good', that theyll vanish for several months and return with a bunch of info

SPINOFFS, GENERAL FRANCHISE STUFF, FUTURE PLANS

- Would want to work on a game based off of Fetch and that he thinks it'd be really cool

- Says he feels like he's sort of lost touch with the fanbase as things have gotten bigger

- Wants to have a better structure for managing a twitter page, official news feed, etc., wants more management than just Himself because it'd better service the fanbase

- He says theres another game planned with steel wool (not the mimic game) way down the line that hasnt been announced yet

- Making more choose-your-adventure fnaf book stuff

- He's 'very careful' with collaborations because he wants to preserve the fact its fnaf and he doesnt want it to be distorted or tainted, & even if he really really likes a game he won't do a collab if the vibes are mismatched, but he's a little more open to things like that now (but we have FNAF X DBD now! yay)

THE BOX.

- (paraphrased) His process for a lot of the lore in games is that he'll come up with half of a mystery and then come up with an answer as things progress, that he feels something is there and he makes the path for that thing to be revealed

- 'but sometimes when things progress the roads that have been put in place arent the same roads that were there before'

- he had something planned for the box. the progression of the story did not allow for the reveal of whats in the box

- he never pursued whats in the box. and he will never know whats in the box.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

The whole "Is Akechi still alive" is a bit of a mess.

First thing first Atlus is TERRIFIED of spoilers, expecially Royal, but vanilla too. To the point all new spin offs that came after Royal barelly mention the events of the game

(Strikers was made as a sequel for vanilla, Tactica has one (1) line about their 'crazy therapist' but thats all, and the dlc with playable Sumire and Prince!Akechi is set in november and they magically forget about it once its over, and seems like they are doing the exactly same thing in the gacha)

So Akechi's fate its in a limbo.

WHATEVER, remember when all maxed joker's confidant help him to get out of jail? There is a very unfinished removed cutscene of Akechi also helping, and its reveled he is alive and now working at what is possibily a safe house for women victim of abuse, as two ladies chat he used to live there with his mom as a kid. Plus he has a couple of cut thieves den conversation where the thieves are slighty more nicer to him, for example Ryuji playing pool with him or Sumire poking fun at Robin Hood's look

Set in November??? They magically forget??? So, does Sumire think she's Kasumi the whole way through the dlc? That's painful, honestly, I would have so much difficulty with that...

Sucks that Akechi's in limbo because he has so much interesting potential for what could happen to him in future if he is alive. It would not be an easy road for him and that interests me. At the same time, Akechi's Royal arc is so good and there's so much complexity to his character that I'd be worried about whether or not the quality would keep up if they tried to continue his story... so idk I have mixed feelings because on one hand, it would be nice for him to come back, but on the other, I get... nervous, haha.

"its reveled he is alive and now working at what is possibily a safe house for women victim of abuse, as two ladies chat he used to live there with his mom as a kid" Ohhhhh that hurts and heals me in the best way... I do like the ambiguity surrounding him at the end, but there is something that really gets me about him helping Joker while returning to a place associated with his past and his mother. I imagined he was aiming to clean up the last of Shido's conspiracy in the background, but I kind of like the idea that he truly gets a chance to breathe away from anything to do with Shido for at least a little bit, and maybe take a step back to reconnect with some parts of himself and his past before he became the Black Mask.

Honestly though, I really can't imagine that Akechi isn't alive at the end of Royal for one very particular reason: Morgana's confidant. I commented in a previous post on how Morgana is a thief that has quite a few similar story beats to him (worth defined by contributions, egotistical tendencies masking insecurity, etc.; if only this part of the story had tighter writing...). At the end of his confidant, Morgana finds that even if he isn't able to contribute the way he wants to, even if he isn't who he's been declaring himself to be, he still has a place to belong with the Thieves - and this belonging is what saves him from disappearing along with the Metaverse. Morgana returns because the Thieves' cognitions, and Ren's especially, made it so he had a place with them.

A friend of mine told me that Akechi's final words change depending on whether or not you max out his confidant. If you don't, he appraises that his final enemy is a puppet version of himself with a "not bad". If you do max his confidant, he says "I...", and cuts off. Shortly before this, Ren asks that he keep his promise for their rematch - again, I've already expressed how implicitly this is a way of saying "you have to make it out of here alive". "Not bad" is Akechi accepting his fate. "I..." means he doesn't want this. He wants to make it out.

Is it enough for a fully maxed out bond - where Ren wants Akechi to be alive and fulfill his promise, and where Akechi similarly wants to keep said promise to the point of hesitating and failing to fully accept his own impending death - to save his life? Given that Ren and Akechi are somewhat unique Persona users and the available evidence we have, I'd say yes.

Also I don't get why the scene would slow and a particular mysterious sound cue would play when the figure in Akechi's typical outfit walks by the train at the end if that... wasn't supposed to be him? My friend also told me that he only shows up there if you max his bond too so... lol.

"Ryuji playing pool with him or Sumire poking fun at Robin Hood's look" Oh my gosh I need to see these. That's so funny. I think Ryuji and Akechi interacting is the funniest thing ever and I have legitimately no idea how a game of pool would go with them. Sumire poking fun at Robin Hood though?! LMAO get him. I kind of like the idea that since Akechi's such a petty asshole, Sumire feels comfortable teasing and poking at him a little.

Well, thank you so much for the information! I'm always happy to hear about cool trivia or little details or things like cut content, so really, thanks for sharing. :)

[felkithecreator]

Do you have revalink fic recs?

Oh do I ever. (Please don't take the numbers that I use too seriously, they're not to really judge the quality of work or anything it's just level of enjoyment for me and my particular tastes)

My favorite Revalink fic of all time is Pinesong by aperplexingpuzzle!! Honestly it's just an absolutely amazing work, and personally I think it's one of the greatest post-calamity Revalink stories written. Link and Revali bond on Vah Medoh after Revali's been freed and exists as a spirit, and while Link struggles through the rest of his adventure. Absolutely recommend, 10/10.

Finding Link by Umbreonix is another one I'd absolutely recommend. It's so silly and just - the characterization of Link and Revali is so fun. Link goes missing after the defeat of Calamity Ganon, and it's up to Revali to find him and potentially bring him back. Honestly Umbreonix's other Revalink work Beating about the bush is also phenomenal - that one's unfinished, but it's also great if you want to read something silly. It's a modernized/human version of Hyrule, which is super interesting as well. All That Glitters is hilarious as well. Recommend them all around 8.5/10.

Linger On by ICanFlyHigher is one I genuinely loved as well. It's been a while since I've read it, but I do know that the vivid descriptions of combat and fighting, and just - the immersion of it is so impressive. So I'd really really recommend this one. It's basically just Botw, but you're really put in Link shoes + that extra touch of Revalink. Again, haven't read it in a while, but 9/10 recommendation from what I remember.

I Lost Myself by self_indulgent_authorship is amazing as well. I love reading from Revali's perspective, and just - the take on Link and Revali getting to know each other after Link's lost his memory is so interesting and refreshing. I wouldn't recommend it if you don't like a bit of Zelda-bashing, but I think this fic handles it well and it didn't feel as if it were over the top or anything. 9/10 recommendation.

Snow filled days by SharkPinata is a great one if you're just down for a fun time!! The author kind of took a concept/idea and ran with it, and the plot grew later - and it shows, a bit, but honestly that's part of the fun with this fic. A great thing about it is you can also see the author's writing style improve over time as they write (I desperately hope that the same can be said about my fics too), so it's fun in that aspect of well. The concept is that Link isn't a knight, and just lives in Selkie's Spot in Hebra - where Revali regularly comes to visit him because they're each other's only friends. 7.5/10 recommendation.

Shades of Blue also by self_indulgent_authorship is just fucking amazing. It's the normal botw journey, but you get so much more intricate lore and flashbacks than the OG game - one where Link and Revali knew each other before they became champions - and it's so so so so good. I genuinely think it's one of the greatest Breath of the Wild fics out there, regardless of Revalink. 10/10 recommendation.

Come Morning Light by misscoconi is great as well!! I haven't read it in a long while but I do know it's one of my favorites. It's very sweet - and it's where Link and Revali begin a shared sleeping arrangement. (Meet Me Halfway is the sequel, also very good.) 10/10 recommendation.

The Longest Night by tirsynni is amazing. It's a relatively short fic, and it's unfinished, but it's still just - great. Trigger warning for some things, I'd definitely recommend reading the tags first, but like, I love. It's an interesting exploration of Link's psyche, and Revali's response to it. Honestly, anything by tirsynni tends to be amazing. 8/10 recommendation.

The Effect of the Illusion of Truth by GeryutheTzakandi!!! This is genuinely one of my favorite fics ever - it's so silly and funny and just an all-around good time. Small warning in that it's unfinished and hasn't updated since 2022, but like - I'd still give it a read because what is there is a fun time. It's a fic where Revali and Link decided to get married so that Link and Zelda don't have to. (And no, the two of them were not previously dating.) 10/10 recommendation.

(Another good one by GeryutheTzakandi is Deftly avoiding saying exactly what you mean - this one's hilarious, and Revali is surprisingly self-aware.)

Inertia by sincosma is a great exploration of how Link's amnesia affects the relationship between him and Revali - and what promises they made pre-Calamity. The memories are so interesting yet heart-breaking to read - but the happy ending makes it very much worth it. 9/10 recommendation.

A Seed of Song by Ginneke is adorable. I'm always a sucker for child fics/baby acquisition fics, especially if they're done well, and, well - this one is definitely done well. It's very cute - it's unfinished, but I still think it's worthwhile to read what's been written so far. The drama of Link not wanting to marry Princess Zelda is also very interesting. 7.5/10 recommendation.

Under the Stars by peterpiez is one of my favorites!! Honestly because it's one of the very few Revalink Linked Universe fics to exist. There's very little active Revalink, given most of it is just Link mourning and being retrospective in response to the lives and loves of the other Links, but I still really enjoyed. This is also unfinished, and I don't see the author ever updating it, but I still would recommend giving it a go.

The Last Song on the Wind by Inked_Jael is another incredible fic. There's so much worldbuilding, and insight to Link's thoughts, I just love this one so much. It's super interesting because it explores the politics and the different cultures of Hyrule. I know second-person style can sometimes throw people off, but I think it works really really well given the story - and also if you keep in mind that it's about Link, just... please read this. Their work needs more love. 10/10 recommendation.

a moment's respite by cottonmouthcandy is another one of my favorites. It's a bit of a sad read, because it's pre-calamity and you know what's coming for the champions in the future, but it's a story where you get to just enjoy with them their little vacation at the beach. It's just sweet, and nice. It's been a while since I've read it, though, so those are more just the vibes that I remember rather than the content of the story itself. 9/10 recommendation.

the wind through the flowers by HopeStoryteller is also just a silly, fun time. The boys go Modulga hunting. 7.5/10 recommendation.

I have more, and I would continue, but I kind of have a class in six hours and I need to sleep before then, so uh... yeah. I hope this satisfies you question!! But honestly please spread the love to these authors their works are just absolutely amazing.

[its-dean]

I’ve been posting on other online platforms about Fossil Fighters for a long time now, and most who are familiar with what I share know that a lot of my content has a heavy focus on original vivosaur ideas. With these vivosaurs I come up with, as well as the stats I create to go with them, I notice that there are often people questioning whether what I come up with would be balanced or not from a gameplay standpoint.

As I’ve gone on with developing this unique vision for my vivosaurs, I’ve also slowly refined my idea of Fossil Battles entirely. All of us are aware that both the original Fossil Fighters and Fossil Fighters Champions don’t have the best balancing in the world. There are certain cast members and even a few core game mechanics that allow so many otherwise memorable characters to fall to the wayside, and with the stats I was coming up with I was only further encouraging that type of hostile environment. The more I worried about whether something I was coming up with would feel realistic or balanced the more I considered the fact that the formula itself may have been broken in the first place.

There have been others in the community that have projected their own ideas of how to change things up regarding gameplay, things like adding new elements or even having customizable skills. Because the series felt like it had ended so suddenly there's become so much to dream for in a potential sequel. These are the people that inspired me to attempt something similar myself back when I was making my vivosaur last year. It inspired me to take a step back with my thinking and ultimately led to me creating a total re-imagining of the classic battle system we all know and love. 

That's the thing, the games may not be perfectly balanced, but I always find how these games work to be something that's just inherently fun in a very unique way. Above everything else, with this project I wanted the new system I was creating to still have the "feel" of having a good old-fashioned Fossil Battle. These games have incredible potential for an interesting competitive landscape, just if only some of those unbalanced mechanics were to be adjusted. This is what I strive to achieve the most with my ideas: an environment where every vivosaur has something practical to them, a format where you CAN win using your favorite vivosaurs. The only thing that should stop you is how well thought-out and unique of a strategy you can come up with.

Fossil Fighters Odyssey is a personal project of mine that I've technically been working on for over half a decade now. Still, I think it's most important to stress the fact that everything I come up with and will be talking about in this post is for fun. This shouldn't explicitly be seen as a vehicle for a potential fan game, I make these things for my own enjoyment and have no plans or obligations to turn any of these ideas into tangible content in the future. We all can pretty unanimously agree that it’s fun to dream about a theoretical continuation of this franchise, especially because of how it felt like it came to such an abrupt halt in a way none of us were really ready for. This project is simply meant to represent the changes I'd most want to see if that were to ever somehow happen, and that vision of mine simply might not appeal to your individual preferences.

But now moving to the fun stuff itself. I strive to be as in-depth as possible when taking into account how I would rework the gameplay, taking a comprehensive look at the entire series. To keep things feeling familiar while also feeling like an "evolution" of sorts, I found it most compelling to try and utilize standout mechanics from all three of the previous games. Yes, that includes Frontier because, while I can't defend its battle system as a whole, I do think there are some features it introduced that can really enhance potential team building and strategy (mainly referring to the boost system it uses).

Since there are far too many changes to cover in a text post, I created a PowerPoint to explain everything in a more presentable and organized way. The link to it can be found directly below this paragraph, with the presentation being separated in order of different areas of discussion, from how vivosaurs have changed to the differences in the battle system to new and altered abilities and so much more! Plus, attached to this post are the stat sheets for every single vivosaur, #1-300. My own vivosaurs as well as the 10 unique vivosaurs from Frontier are included in the lineup, and all the vivosaurs you're already familiar with have received numerous changes and enhancements to their skill sets so that they can thrive in this new Fossil Battling format.

Link to the PowerPoint (in case the picture quality is too poor to be able to read on this website)

FFO Mechanics.pptx

Link to all 300 vivosaurs and their stat sheets:

FFO All Vivosaurs.pptx

(Disclaimer: not all of the vivosaurs have artwork to correspond with their dino medals, but those will be hopefully trickling out down the line in the future.)

To round things out, I definitely want to thank the people that have already been supporting me and the things I create these past few years elsewhere. Without the level of the recognition and approval I see from the people who always respond to what I make, I definitely never would've come this far with developing my ideas. You guys are the ones who've been enjoying these things, from vivosaurs to characters to the overarching story I hope to one day be able to share with you all. I owe it to you for allowing myself to become as invested in my favorite series as I now am. And hey, depending on how people react to what I have here I may make another post outlining the more creative story and character elements I have in mind… 

Thank you to everyone who's been there for all this time, as well as anyone willing to read through everything I've been able to put together here, this project never could've been completed without you all for me to share it with.

[just-1other-nerd]

Prepare! For I will go on a tangent why a lot of long romantasy book series suck.

Disclaimer: I am not shaming people who read and enjoy those, you do you. But if you really like this genre and can't handle constructive criticism don't read further for your own good.

Okay so, the problem isn't just that the industry currently pushes authors to release books faster (especially in this genre) which results in bad writing style and a drop of quality when it comes to editing but also the fact that lots of authors don't know how to write an actual relationship.

The thing is that this is fine if you have a stand alone book where they get together towards the end or a duology that is an actual slow burn or something like that. But if your book has four sequels then playing will they won't they with the readers and the characters is about to get boring.

Unlike a contemporary romance the plot doesn't just revolve around the relationship of the main characters, there's a whole fantasy plot going on which oftentimes has got some stakes to it.

Your book can be really bad when it comes to this fantasy plot and worldbuilding and readers can still be intrigued by the character dynamics and relationships. But if you draw out certain things for too long it gets boring and repetitive, there's only so much compelling drama you can get from two people.

When I was about 13-16 years old I read a lot of YA romantasy which had an interesting fantasy plot but the romance was kinda toxic or boring but that wasn't why I kept reading. Now I see this a lot the other way around online, where people complain about plot holes but praise the romance which as I said is fine. But if your series has got 5 books and a very basic fantasy plot and generic world and you're not able to expand that because you lack the ability to actually write fantasy then you gotta step up your romance game. Most authors try to do so by writing more of the explicit scenes or by creating a plot twist along the lines of "this thing happened and now our love is forbidden", the ladder of which you can only pull one or two times until the reader is fed up with it, it is kinda like a 3rd act break up but stretched across multiple books. It will be unsatisfactory if the characters constantly fuck or something but still aren't together and committed. If you take drama too far you risk making the involved characters unlikable.

Authors just don't know how to write the relationship for which they made all the build up. They don't know how to make the struggles of daily life compelling to read and this is why they don't do it but as I said they will lose readers if they draw out the getting together for too long and can't compensate with the fantasy plot.

Example below the cut

This is exclusively what I have heard from multiple sources and not my own opinion since I didn't read the books myself.

The Fourth Wing series fandom has criticised the 3rd book for being filler and having an even messier fantasy plot than the two books prior and for not really developing the relationship. They can't be together because he's been changed but they can't help but lust over one another, there are things happening that could be potentially harmful to their relationship but it is so obvious that they are going to be endgame that you don't by those threats. They also don't have any scenes where they are deepening emotional connections or planning out a future in a meaningful way. All there is to it is lust that never turns into love because love isn't just a feeling but also a behaviour.

[vani11a-ice]

So, any unpopular opinions about Star Wars Legends that you have? I'm perfectly willing to listen.

Lmao hi, I didn’t expect to see you here! I really liked your Mara Jade criticism/analysis, and I saw your thoughts about my silly little hashtags—off topic to the ask but yes I definitely agree it’s too late to do anything with Mara Jade now given her story already concluded in Legends/EU verse, not to mention Disney now own the rights so that couldn’t even happen. If she were rewritten however she definitely could be far greater of a character.

As for your kind ask, when it comes to Star Wars EU there’s a lot to unpack because there’s so much content, but I guess I can give an overall opinion to make it more concise (But brace yourself, I will be yapping quite a bit anyways on here lol).

I generally love Legends. I grew up mainly with the central Lucas canon many years before Disney acquired the franchise: obviously the movies and 2008 clone wars series, and then some small EU content such as video games and some children’s comics/books before I even knew what the EU was. Because of this, I think it’s easy for me and many others to look back on the old stuff and be nostalgic for it.

But now that I’m older and gotten back into Star Wars (after losing interest in it for a while due to the sequels), I now have a better grasp of Legends content as well as a lot of lore I didn’t know as a kid—mainly books about what happens post ROTJ—and one thing I’ve noticed is that the quality highly fluctuates. On the one hand you get some amazing stuff like the Old Republic era, some of the Clone wars comics, old Battlefield games, the Darth Plagueis novel, the Prequel novelisations, Thrawn, Clone Wars 2003 and ofc many more. On the other hand, you get some pretty ridiculous stuff too, like Dark Empire, Shadows of the Empire, the Force Unleashed (Ironically, I actually really like this game for the nostalgia, its gameplay, Galen himself, story potential and the memes but many events of the game itself do not realistically make sense lol) and many books post ROTJ (mind you haven’t read all of them, way too many lol) that kind of have plot points I’m not too happy with and I could go on forever about (and some others I probably haven’t thought of).

My main point is, many legends fans will always advocate that the solution to Disney’s less than stellar Star Wars works recently is doing adaptations of existing legends material. And whilst I do think that there is a lot of lore you can pluck from legends and reuse/rewrite for their potential (I mean Disney already does that with characters like Thrawn), I never would want a 1-1 recreation. First of all, Legends started before the prequels so a lot of it doesn’t make complete sense now anyways (Hot take, but post-prequel-movies legends has always been better overall in terms of quality. For this reason, Old Republic/Prequel era was handled better overall than New Republic era). Additionally, Legends just isn’t as consistent or good overall as people would like to believe. It’s a large universe with several different writers, there’s bound to be mistakes/bad works riddled throughout here and there.

I also don’t think there’s enough people that talk about (especially) the older legends materials’ problematic elements as well. I’m not always a huge fan of how certain writers treat female and even other minority/non-human characters in Legends. I’m sure you’re familiar with this with people like Mara Jade. One of my other personal main gripes just to list another example is Leia. I’ve always hated how sidelined she is because she was always my personal favourite as a child, and the writers throughout the continuity could not make up their mind on whether she should be a Jedi or not to the point where her skills largely varied between writers until they finally decided to make it official when she’s much much older. Even by then she’s already overshadowed by her children/brother. George Lucas himself didn’t always write her or other female characters in the best way either, but I always thought an EU continuity would be the perfect place to give her the attention she deserves, instead all we got was an inconsistent arc, especially after the Thrawn trilogy. Disney could have turned this around but unfortunately the exact same thing happened where they couldn’t make up their mind on whether she was a Jedi or not (and gave her the shittiest excuse for quitting—how ironic that both Legends and Disney write in immediate motherhood and marriage as a sexist obstacle rather than actually letting her character grow before/during these events).

Fanatic Legends fans will, however, unfortunately rarely agree or at least try to understand criticism of their favourite universe, and, in my view, this is no better than Disney Adults who vehemently reject criticism of some of the worst recent Star Wars media that’s been released.

To conclude this long ass rant, I just think Star Wars EU whether that be Legends or Disney could do with rewriting/organisation here and there. But that’s highly unlikely, so a more realistic solution is just to pick and choose the media you enjoy from both universes (or make up your own!) and just accept it as your own personal canon. That’s what gives me peace and mind anyways :)

[yzafre]

Finished Ender Magnolia, some final thoughts:

As I was approaching the half-way point of the game, I had this feeling of "the gameplay feels better in this one, but I don't think they're executing the narrative as well". And, having completed the game… yes, essentially.

It is a far more polished game, but the longer it went on the more I came to the conclusion that I just don't like it as much as Lilies (perhaps, even, because of the polish).

Before I go to far into my critique, I want to be clear: the game was fun. I had a lot of fun. But I also enjoy understanding and articulating why I do or do not enjoy things, and given this is a sequel game it was inviting comparisons.

I watched a retrospective on the original Spyro trilogy recently, comparing the originals and the remake, and there was a comment in there that struck me - that games of that time period had a particular charm due to developers… not fully knowing what they were doing, that is extremely difficult to replicate now-a-days, due to the growing skill of the industry. There weren't the rules and expectations there are now, and beginning developers were more willing to try things out and take risks.

In some ways, that applies to these two games. Magnolia is far more polished - not just from quality of life features, but from the flow of the game. And yet...

For example: let's talk about a core of the MetroidVania genre - movement upgrades and back-tracking.

Both Lilies and Magnolia have Big Movement Upgrades used to progress in new areas - swimming, wall hook, grapple. Standard fare - and this goes much smoother in Magnolia, due to the more detailed maps (which I am a fan of, to be clear).

However, in Magnolia those big upgrades are the only things you need for both progression and backtracking to pick up a small handful of extra collectibles. As I very clearly remember (from having to look it up in guides), Lilies relied on the extra movement affects on the minor abilities to preform some creative platforming to pick up some tricky hidden items. In Magnolia, I can only think of two pick-ups that require you to do that (and because it hadn't been used frequently throughout, I'd forgotten to consider my abilities' movement capabilities by that point, despite being excited to find those kinds of items when I went into the game).

It can be argued that this kind of obscure platforming is a bit janky, a bit of a mess, unapproachable… but it gave Lilies a very distinct flavor that was very memorable.

I do think Magnolia had some untapped potential, though, because it more tightly refined its movement abilities. While the Upper Stratum felt a bit anti-climactic as a final area, I did actually enjoy it. Particularly, I found the side-dash puzzle rooms were very fun to navigate. I feel like if they had more areas that extended your movement abilities into this kind of crafted puzzle, I would have been more affectionate towards the system.

Combat, I'll might give Magnolia props on. While it felt easier, I can't really say if it's because the game is actually easier, I understood it better from having played Lilies, or because parrying is powerful and I learned how to do that in Nine Sols. At minimum, sub attacks are no longer a limited resource which makes combat during traversal SO much nice. So so so much nicer. That trumps any concerns I may have... such as certain builds feeling very unbalanced.

What it comes to is that, objectively, Magnolia is better gameplay-wise. It's polished, it's clean. There was no where near the frustrations I remember from Lilies. It's nice not having to worry about limited attack numbers. Exploration has enough quality of life to keep you from getting frustrated. It's a slick, satisfying experience… but it's not particularly memorable, for exactly that reason.

Magnolia also felt much more linear than the first game, to me. Now, a MetroidVania can be more or less linear, depending on what it wants to do - but I think generally we expect less, unless something about the game's intention or design is served by it becoming more linear. Nine Sols, for example, was a very linear experience - but that was in service to the story it wanted to tell, which was gripping and moving.

Which leads us to my second disappointment with Magnolia. Because the longer it went on… the more its story seemed to spiral out of control. There is… quite a bit going on here, but I do not find it all to be well connected.

It started solid. Your very first point is trying to find Lilia. Good, cool. The next several encounters focus on how Homunculi are treated and thrown away - the question of what does and does not make a human, with a twist on the corruption theme through them going "mutant". The note that connected blighted humans and the creation of homonculi, as well, had some interesting parallels to, say, the immortal knights or the priestesses in the first game.

After that… well, you start meeting more people. And the NPCs are… they're not strong. None of them stuck with me, none of them got me attached. Even with your tuned Homonculi, while I liked the little dialogues at the respites in theory, in practice they were fairly bland.

Another issue with the NPCs is that they pretty quickly become irrelevant after whatever brief encounter you have with them. Where theoretically the NPCs should have made the world feel more vibrant and alive compared to Lilies, in the end they just felt like… bland set dressing.

Levy kept showing up in the WILDEST places, to the extent that I thought there had to be something up with them... nope.

Motley, seeing both Declan and Gilroy in his memory, I thought he'd talk to them when we encounter them as bosses - nope.

The most we get is the group that used to be on the Survey Team together occasionally - but they weren't used in the narrative quite enough for me to really understand their place in the past.

And that's really the issue with including the NPCs at large - they added them in, allowing for "happening now and to you" narrative... but then they didn't use them ENOUGH, clinging to the method of exposing the past used in Lilies, leaving the story in this very bland middle-area.

Anyways, as we go on, more things are added onto the "things the game seems us to want to care about" list:

Finding Lilia

The treatment of the Homunculi (early on, assumed to be a major theme for the game)

Uncovering your/Nola's past

The Blight/Fumes in the kingdom, and how its affecting the

humans and homunculi

Whatever's going on with Gilroy

The Millius/Frost feud

Whatever's going on with Abelia????

And this is where Magnolia fails compared to Lilies.

In Lilies, you get little scraps of information, little vignettes of different character's views of the world, of how everything went down. They had different personal tragedies (which were very poignant), but they also all contributed to the Singular Picture you were trying to put together of how this all happened, while also contributing to the themes of despair, desperation, the balance of selflessness and selfishness in love, and most of all it's question about sacrifice that Lilies was building up.

Magnolia does not satisfactorily bring its various plot threads together.

The biggest sin, I think is that most of them have nothing to do with the choice you make at the beginning of the game. What does people's treatment of Homunculi have to do with whether you move to maintain the Parasol, or destroy it? You'll deal with the blight as well, true, but I never fully understood the impact of it on the land.

The Frosts, and Abelia especially - who have most to do with the Ancients/Priestesses brought over from the first game - honestly contribute nothing by the end. They have little to nothing to do with the actual end-game. And it did genuinely seem like an interesting thread! But when it was never meaningfully looped back into the main narrative and/or theme...

Even Lilia, the very first goal you're introduced to is functionally nothing more than a maguffin. She has no narrative weight.

Even in the final ending - you want to save Lilia from her suffering, but I never fully felt what Lilia's suffering meant, or why it happened. I don't really feel the weight of the choice we're making.

There were so many interesting threads and potential themes, but by leaving them scattered and failing to fully commit to anything, I was just left feeling... unsatisfied.

Not to mention the pacing is off - I didn't realize I was at the endgame till I was stumbling into the Final Boss. The land of Origin - the magical land everyone talks about and contains the things you need to get ending B - is honestly very easy and underwhelming. And what you have to do to get that ending….

Getting ending C in Lilies felt like effort. Like you really had to put in the work, puzzle together all the details of what happened, how we got here, and what need to be done to change it. It felt like you earned it. This game…. kinda just felt like it handed it to you, honestly. It was significantly less satisfying.

((That being said, the true ending final boss was quite fun, even if I did stick with what felt like a slightly cheesy double-pressure+hp while attacking+lots of parrying method.))

To be clear: Ender Magnolia is a good game, it's very solid. Not quite at the level I would put Hollow Knight or Nine Sols on, but it's good. Movement felt good, exploring was fun, and it was absolutely gorgeous.

It's just that it doesn't have all the unique quirks Lilies had to make it memorable to make up for the ways that it's kind of average, and that hurts it in my estimation.

[archoneddzs15]

Sega Mega CD - The Lawnmower Man

Title: The Lawnmower Man

Developer/Publisher: SCi (Sales Curve Interactive) Ltd. / Time Warner Interactive

Release Month: November 1994

Catalogue No.: T-160015-50

Genre: FMV Action

To understand why anyone might have ever thought that there was something good in The Lawnmower Man, one must teleport their mind back to 1993, when the game came out. It must be remembered that at this time, "multimedia" was actually a new buzzword that created the same kind of excitement that "Internet" might have created just a few years later. In reality, though, as many examples have shown us "multimedia" is really the modern word for "shite". The whole idea of being able to play movies (even tiny movies which lasted a few minutes or even seconds) on your computer screen seemed like an impossible dream come true. In those days, The Lawnmower Man was something special, because in the spirit of those pioneering multimedia days, it entirely ditched any semblance of a computer game interface, preferring instead to simply use what looked like super blocky full-motion video for the entire game. Rather than any on-screen cursors or buttons appearing, you simply saw what must have looked like pretty decent full-screen video in those days. (Even though it's really just rendered polygon graphics for the most part.) Your character would respond to keypresses and the movie would evolve as appropriate, changing here and there as you continued to influence it. It was (and remains today) a little-used gameplay style. Whether that's good or bad, however, may be a matter of opinion. Even so, the graphics and sound effects were passable, at least.

This is not the same as the Super Famicom game, mind you. The Super Famicom game really showed off what the Super Famicom (and by extension the Mega Drive) could do. And the Super Famicom played like it was supposed to be a game!

This version of The Lawnmower Man came to the PC first, and a troubled port staggered to the Mega CD later. The MCD was, of course, trying to qualify its own multimedia revolution, and so it was a match made in digital heaven. The idea is that you are actually playing the kind of digital animation you could previously only watch on cassette, and directly affecting the outcome in a manner almost identical to the virtual reality it is based on. As you can guess, this doesn’t happen. The game itself is actually a sequel to the film of the same name, and Jobe has reached his full potential as CyberJobe.

You control Pierce Brosnan’s professor from the film as he braves a series of minigames inside the digital theme park of the idiot-turned-cybergod Jobe. What levels could be taken from the film were, with the rest filled out as a series of “inspired-by” challenges. This makes it a bit silly as all… well, ALL of the characters who died in the film have been turned into stage bosses; from the government director to the fucking chimpanzee. You’ll battle each other in a series of puzzles and action minigames, all the while being wowed by the virtual world your oblong black console is churning out.

Naturally, the Mega CD couldn’t possibly generate these worlds in real time, so you’re just looking at another FMV game, this time comprised of pre-rendered computer graphics. If you were really fascinated by digital art and the possibilities of VR itself, I can see the draw. There are some neat reflections and decent character animation for the era. Unfortunately, the whole experience fails to be either impressive or interactive. Due to the usual Mega CD compression, the video won’t match even one of those VHS demo reels, and the limits of FMV gameplay actually make it more annoying than just watching such a tape.

Lawnmower Man claims on its box to be an “interactive movie.” Interactive movie here means that you will watch some lengthy movie clips of questionable animation quality, then be instructed by a disembodied God-voice to “turn right.” If you don’t hit the D-Pad to “turn right,” then you have to restart the movie. If not, on we go. It’s the same old shit since Dragon’s Lair, and though a few standard puzzles break up the “run and jump for your life” segments, they all have the annoying habit of dumping you back to start after a single misstep. These sequences get reused as you go on, in harder versions without a guiding voice or on screen indicators.

What’s made worse is that the Mega CD introduces some lag between these clips and your input, so the moment you’re told to “turn left” isn’t the exact moment you need to be pressing the button. Sometimes it’s a little before, sometimes a little after. Presumably, you’re supposed to use the early sections with voice/arrow indicators as tutorials to learn the timing, but it still doesn’t feel natural. Meanwhile, sometimes just holding or mashing the button down will let you pass, sometimes the game treats that as an action that came too early, which results in you getting speared, crushed, shot, or crucified by virtual glass and run over by a lawnmower.

In the end, this game not only makes the Mega CD look extremely weak, but it also makes CD-ROM technology as a whole look boring and useless. On the plus side, this is another Mega CD disc with color print.

[real-life-senshi]

hellow, i hope so far you´re doing ok since i saw you were struggling a bit with your health. though i'm quite new to your content i finally got the time to check some of your writings, i'd say i ended pretty hooked on them ahsfgsdjhs, tbh i'm not much of a fic reader of anything at all, specially since i don't think i have seen anything sailor moon related since my teens lmao. But i still wanted to let you know that i'm glad i have found it, as i tried to recall some about the pgsm plot (there's a chance i must have ended rewatching it ahsjhdsj and my gosh there were so many subtle things i missed 'cause i watched it when i was quite young haha) there were some other things that came to my mind that i wish were explored on the series, curiously most of it i found it on your fics 🤣 (i really like the way you expanded the pgsm characters through your stories) there were even some parts when i could 100% visualize them, may i have randomly doodle some stuff, who knows(?, oh! and your drawings as well, i saw this one about the Final Act *chef kiss*👌

There are other things i'd like to comment but i don't want to spoil anything as in Ao3 there are only 6 of the rest unlike the other fic site; i'm a big fan of the V manga (it's probably the one i sometimes read to remind myself why Minako is one of my fave characters ever! though my 11 year old self would disagree cause was obssesed with Manga/tokusatsu Mars😂 ) and also the continuity of the past life lore, whether if at some point in a near future as long as you're doing ok, please take care, for real. I'm looking forward to stay tuned if there's anything new from you 🙌

omg omg omg omg!!!!

You are the sweetest! 🥹Thank you for dropping by and leaving this lovely message in my inbox. Your keyboard smashing makes me go askdfhdsafdk as well! It's the highest praise one can give me. LOL😂

And jfc your amazing EoT based art? And there's potentially more doodles???? I can't believe that's happening to one of my stories. It's just not something I thought would ever be possible I don't even know what else to say except for repeating 'thank you' x10000 time.

Your message definitely encouraged me to finish chapter 7 instead of stalling some more. Made my week knowing one more person enjoys my attempt at writing a sequel. <3 My plan for the story is so ambitious sometimes I wonder if I'll be able to finish it. I even have plans to write a past life prequel and hope to do a bridging Black Moon story before introducing a Mugan arc sequel to EoT... That's 3 more stories total... and right now writing at a snail's pace, I don't know if that's ever possible... :'(

I'm finally on the road to recovery so it's getting easier for me to sit in front of my laptop for hours on end again. I've been mostly using video games to distract myself from the discomfort coz I can easily change positions while holding the console with no problem. With a laptop... there's a limitation with the keyboard for writing and the mouse for drawing. (LMAO I still use a mouse to draw. Never learnt to properly use a drawing tablet, even though I bought one long ago it just gathering dust now...)

Yeah... I think I peaked with the final act illustration when it comes to fanart. lol Knowing I did manage to make something with a quality that even surprised me, I've been overthinking and overcomplicating all the new ideas I want to do and then my brain and hand freeze and things are left as wip. 🙈

I'm really glad you enjoy my blog content. I practically owe my life to PGSM, I Iove the series with my whole being, cheesiness and faults and all. So it makes me really happy when my blog can help introduce or reignite interest in the series for other people! <3

I hope you don't mind me posting this reply instead of responding privately. I want to keep your message archived on my blog coz I love it so much. <3

[talesfromthebacklog]

Tales From The Backlog: Cattails

7/10

In the simplest way I can put this: It’s Stardew Valley but with cats!

With. CATS.

At least that’s how I saw it initially described. And it’s a pretty accurate description for what it is. It was also $3 on sale with a newly released sequel. Which I view sequels as a potential indicator of quality. Not necessarily high quality but played enough where developers thought: “Yeah. More than one. People might like that.”

And I do. I do like this game a lot. It deserved an expanded sequel. It’s a life sim RPG where you are a cat abandoned on the side of the road by your owner and you are taken in by other local cats into a cat colony. It’s cute. I like this game SO MUCH. The sequel looks even better!!!

My cat’s name is Butter. Let’s talk about it!

I like cozy games. But cats aren’t really my thing? I like them. I like petting them and all that junk. But cats are like horses. The people who like cats are REALLY into cats. Just like horse people. You know? Meaning: Cat games aren’t my thing. Horse games are.

I don’t even remember how I stumbled across this game. I think it was blind luck because nothing about the art or the name denotes what kind of experience it will be other than cat.

Hence why I didn’t use it as the opener pic. The art is cute though. Though on Switch this same art is really pixelated when it was used as the title screen. And not in an intentional way. It comes across like it was blown up too big on the screen.

And I play in handheld mode 90% of the time. Not a complaint, just an observation.

Regardless of how I ran into the game, what was in this $3 package?

A pretty great experience actually. Simple. Cute. It had more content than I expected it to. It is not an empty experience.

Like Stardew Valley there are various familiar elements:

There’s the cat shrine, which is like the community center. You bring various specific goods to unlock things. In this case it unlocks little puzzles to work on throughout the map which also reward you. While not finished this is a breeze to get through.

There’s the town bulletin board in which you complete quests to earn special currency to get special items.

There are marriage candidates. You can get married to another cat. I can’t decide between Krampy and Alisa. Very different vibes.

Yes you can have kittens and they can look like a mix between the player character and your spouse. Ridiculous. I LOVE THAT. This is the gameplay I want to see!

I’m pretty satisfied with the writing of the NPCs. Not the most top tier but a lot of these style of games get overly childish dialogue. Cattails does not suffer from this problem. Thank lord. It doesn’t need to be mature but like… I don’t want to be able to hear you pronounce the word frog with a w just by looking at the text. You know?

Fwog.

The map is almost completely open world. You have to earn your way into little sub areas, but in majority you can do what you want to do and see what you want to see. The game actively rewards you for checking nooks and crannies. The game doesn’t hold your hand and direct you too much though. The game lightly nudges you in the right direction when you follow the main story. Some mechanics aren’t explained well, like the cat colony control thing (I’ll go into this more in a bit). The game is gracious enough to have a short mechanics tutorial though. I love short basic bread and butter tutorials. Some folks like this kind of stuff, some don’t. Just know that out the gate.

Then there’s the mole mines. You dig for treasure and sell it to the moles for special currency to get special items. There’s no crafting element though.

And with no crafting there is no chests, storage, etc. but this is balanced well. Prey is abundant (you will die if you don’t eat) and you aren’t crafting so storage is entirely unnecessary.

There are seasonal festivals with mini games and special prizes. Those are cute.

Then there are the differences. Starting with no farming. Kind of a special rarity. A lot of the cozy game genre leans on farming pretty hard. Maybe almost too much so despite how much I love it. At least in this first game. The second game had screenshots that had farming (Not a complaint.). This game largely depends on you hunting and foraging. It’s cute and different. I like that. The hunting is actually pretty fun too. Weather and season affects your hunting. You have to tie yourself and stalk prey.

On top of the hunting there is very light combat. This is either in the mines or against other randomly named cats in the over world (and the cat names do NOT disappoint). You get to choose which out of three colonies you join. From here on out you are in a constant territorial dispute. On your map screen you can see which areas of the map are dominated, or in the process of domination, by your colony and other colonies. There are two territorial disputes a day to help you sway favor in these zones.

And of course cats from your colony are there to help you! The only, thankfully abusable, downside is that the number of cats generated to both help and attack you are random. But if the numbers aren’t in your favor you can just literally exit and come back until they are.

Combat itself is basic. There are skills and items you can get that do small things to help (like poisoning your claws with local plants? Brutal! I love it). But while basic it is still entertaining to be in little cat wars.

Especially since it also allows for other “towns” to exist. Which a lot of these types of games really lack. There’s something appealing to me about needing to travel to a separate community as a player. I feel like it makes the world seem bigger.

Which you must earn your way in by offering gifts to these communities. It’s basic but I’m hoping by the time I finish and play the second game they will have expanded on it because it’s super fun to see your colony dominating the area. I didn’t expect this game to hit like it did.

It also has an experience point mechanic. Completing pretty much any activity successfully will net you experience points. Hunting, fighting, mining, etc. You then spend those points to raise your skills which can unlock additional special abilities. Again. Basic but in an extremely functional way. Basic isn’t always bad.

There is better cat customization once you enter the game but you gotta earn it. Which feels fair. There is nothing that is painfully out of reach. I do wish there was a baby bit of house customization but I get why it’s not there. It’s literally not needed.

…But it would be cool to have a cat tree in the house or upgrades to make it visually more appealing. That kind of stuff. I’m hoping the sequel expanded on this too.

The art style in majority is… alright. Except for Krampy. That plague doctor mask is so… good. It’s looks so silly. I kind of wish they leaned on that kind of style more? It’s good but could use a stronger sense of visual identity. Which they definitely provided for the sequel. The assets and general world look a lot more lived in and full.

There’s also small things missing that aren’t a big deal breaker but I want to see in the future. Like a relationship chart in the menu. There’s no dedicated map button. The mini map is largely useless. The game emphasizes you have to take care of yourself and I wish there were one or two more survival elements to keep the player on their toes, especially since the current survival mechanics are almost too manageable.

I like that sleeping doesn’t heal you. You need to either find meds or get healed at the doctor. And both are in plenty supply. You’re never hurting that bad where it’s not easy to get healed.

You’ll notice I haven’t mentioned much about the story. Mostly because the story isn’t terribly remarkable. You gotta get the world back in balance by finishing the community center cat shrine. That’s the story. It doesn’t need to be deep though. Let’s be real. That’s not why you’d play the game. You’re playing for cat and gameplay. It does that job fine.

Overall, I wasn’t expecting this solid of an experience. If it had a physical I’d be apt to recommend it to the folks who are more inclined to like these kind of titles. I would say likely out of the two you can probably skip the first game and just head right for the second for that expanded experience.

But also the first game was $3 when I bought it. Hard to beat that price point when you’re trying a new game out for the first time.

By the looks of it I can expect an even stronger experience from the sequel. Which I’ll get to.

…Eventually.

……Someday.

[doorplays]

Door Reviews: The Roottrees are Dead (2025)

Evil Trout is a man I know specifically from one game I played in my youth: Forumwarz. It was released in 2008, and was very much a product of its time. A browser game about being an internet stereotype, it had a decent playerbase for a while. I eventually fell off of it as I became busy with college, but I have fond memories of hanging out with a bunch of other nerds online, making jokes, discovering IRC, doing guild things, and roleplaying on the internet.

Now, he has returned after what, 17 years? He has adapted someone’s entry into a game jam. Jeremy Johnston made The Roottrees are Dead for the 2023 Global Game Jam. I haven’t played this version because of its reliance on AI art, which I do not like on principle. So I’m glad Evil Trout helped make an adaptation with actual art. The two of them together also included a bonus mystery with this game, Roottreemania, which is essentially a sequel of the original mystery. Various quality-of-life improvements were also made.

As far as adaptations go, this one is pretty good. I heard a lot of murmurings on the internet saying that this game scratched that detective game itch. So with me being a fan of such games, I HAD to get it. And now, I’m here to review it!

What’s it about? An airplane crash is reported over the news. In it were the Roottrees, a famous family known for their old candy company. And they just died. A mysterious person now comes to you, requesting that you map the entire family tree of the Roottrees, from their great great grandparents to their current generation. Why this person asks this of you, you do not know, but you DO know that they’ve come to the right person for the job.

STYLE (Gameplay, Graphics, Music)

As a person who is great at mapping genealogies, your job is to identify each and every member of the Roottree family. You have to find a picture of a family member, find their name, and find their profession, slotting these into their right place in the family tree. You find the information you need with your trusty turn of the millenium PC equipped with a cutting edge 56K modem. You search sites, trawl through periodicals, scan online libraries, print evidence, burn CDs of relevant audio, and whatever else you need to complete your job. When you see familiar faces on the evidence, you can click them to add them to your records and slot them into potential entries.

Once you get three (3) Roottrees right, the game automatically locks them in. This act validates your assumptions and reduces the effort you have to make on future guesses. Jeremy Johnston himself cites Return of the Obra Dinn and Her Story as influences, and it shows.

This gameplay makes for a nice experience. It felt like I was clicking through Wikipedia links, finding all the connections, getting lost in the sauce. It’s a uniquely internet experience, hyperfixating into certain topics and clicking every relevant link, and this game manages to replicate it.

The aesthetic of the game feels very Y2K. You have the 56K modem, the burning of CDs, and a lot of the action of the game happens in your computer. There’s also the aesthetic shown by older evidence, a peek into the 70’s and earlier eras. You get to see how each generation differs from the last. It gives character and color to the game.

The music is um… a lot of copyright-free jazz? Which is fine. There are also a few songs that embody some eras, and some are actually relevant to the game as hints. There are also some voiced lines in the game, which surprised me, as I didn’t feel it necessary. I like that they still made the effort for it.

The art is distinctive enough that each person can be identified. I had a bit of trouble with it, but that’s par for the course for detective games like this. I definitely appreciate the devs moving away from AI art.

Of note is also the hint system. You can consult your own rubber ducky for hints that start out light and progress to more obvious hints until fully saying the answer that will help guide you further in your quest to fill the tree. The hint system itself is a reference to rubber duck debugging, and it’s a nice little thing to set up.

The gameplay of this game is the draw, as the devs included a lot of things to make the detectiving be more comfortable to do, like the capacity to highlight some lines, a sort of notebook you can take your own notes in, a History tab within browsers that lets you go back to past sites you visited… it’s a lot of quality of life stuff. And they make it a much tighter experience that had me not wanting to put the game down. High marks for the style!

SUBSTANCE (Story, Characters, Impact)

This game’s story is so fun for an inveterate gossip like me!!!

It’s like you are thrown behind the scenes into a will reading, and now you have to support your patron in finding all the possible people getting a slice of the pie. And now you’re digging your heels finding out all you can about this old money ass family, and you just find out SO MUCH HOT GOSS GUYS, SO MUCH. The stories won’t be out of place in a Filipino teledrama, and that’s why it’s so fun!! I did not expect this kinda story to be in a detective game!!

You get to know more about the lives of each Roottree, and you see that they have different mindsets to things, different ways of coping with the times. It’s nice seeing all these small stories weaving together in this tapestry of a family tree, disparate yet connected together by blood.

The humor in this game is so fun for me. There’s a fair amount of stories parodying some real life people and some real life experiences. I wanna say it’s rather tongue-in-cheek? I found myself laughing a lot.

I liked the story a lot, and I liked how the gameplay let me discover the story bit by bit. It tickles me a lot how this feels like such fresh ground to explore. The case isn’t really a whodunit and more of diving into a mess of a family, and I think more detective games should be fun like that without resorting to be cutesy cozy games. Those games are still fun, I just think there’s a lot more to explore in this genre. Maybe I haven’t explored detective games much, but this game’s topic feels fresh to me. I loved experiencing this game!

VERDICT

This game is FUN. A refinement of the Obra Dinn formula and the Her Story experience, The Roottrees are Dead does a lot of experimentation with how detective games implement their gameplay. The discovery of evidence, the way you ascertain the answers, all of it feels fresh enough to me that I ended up enjoying my time with it. It’s a modern hit for the genre!

DOOR JUDGMENT: A fun Detective Game that pushes the genre forward. Recommended!

[shippo-clan]

RDR1 live reactions 3/?

Ok so before we actually get into the live reactions I’ve been wanting to make a post summarizing how I feel about different characters you meet in new Austin but I kept forgetting to do I’m gonna do the here

Bonnie McFarland: I love her. She's a girl boss and a well rounded character especially compared to other characters. I genuinely hope we get to see more of her in later chapters 

The marshal: Uh he’s pretty good. In the context of the game I like him but if he were a real person we’d probably disagree on too many things to get along. Again, perspectively, he’s well rounded. He’s the only person, besides John, who gave me any sense of competence and security during the assault on fort Mercer  

deputy Jonah: All I’ve got to say about him is I think anyone named Jonah is doomed to be annoying in some shape way or form

The chubby deputy (I’m so sorry idk his name): Uh pretty neutral. he seemed nice and empathetic which I can appreciate 

Nigel west dickens: Neutral negative. I just don’t really care for him but I can't articulate why I don’t. 

Seth: I like him. He’s a dirty nasty little freak but I like him. There’s potentially some necrophilic aspects of his character I’m not ready to address but like I said before he speaks of the dead in a way that while disturbing is deeply poetic. 

Irish: Fucking hate this guy. He is literally just a walking stereotype. Oh he’s Irish and has an Irish accent and what do you know his name is Irish? Jesus. I know his name is a nickname given to him by Americans but still. His only redeeming quality is he had a few funny lines. For example when you’re on the raft floating over to Mexico he mentions that the reason they’re being shot at might have to do with him sleeping with someone’s daughter and then after the 4th or so wave he shouts ‘surely I didn’t sleep with all of yur daughters!’

The gunslinger's tragedy 

.can't really tell if the three guys John meets in chuparosa are stereotyped or not

.dick shot

.call him out old man! Call John out for immediately killing folk

.bbg name drop! (Javier escuella)

.”don’t think I’ve ever rode with no savior before” -John 

Kind of an odd thing to say isn’t it? I won’t say Dutch was a savior but he definitely presented himself as such. So is this John reference the reality of Dutch or something else? 

Free roam

.if you go up to people in Mexico and greet them (b on an Xbox) John gives the most awkward hat tip and goes “uhhhh hOla (the uppercase  letter is intentional because he over pronunciates the o)

Landon ricketts rides again

.John finally brings up the urgency of his own situation! Bout damn time

.i love how John basically says im sorry about your situation but I’ve got my own problems and then Landon tells him to come along and John’s like “oh ok yup on my way, gonna go help this guy”

.OOH TRAINS, love trains

.havin an absolute field day on this train

.”if they lay so much as a finger on her I swear I’ll feed those bastard their balls” -Landon 

.only knowing bits of a language is so funny because I’ll pick up words but not know any of the context, like why were yall saying ‘coger’??? 

.I met Lucia!

I know you

.THE STRANGE MAN RETURNS

.he is not aloud to pronounce anything in Spanish ever again, that was the most American way possible to say ‘paraiso’ and ‘banditos’ 

.call John out for killing folk!

.sure enough, the strange man is getting stranger

Free roam

.i'm absolutely vibing to the background music 

.quality trumpeting 

The Mexican wagon train

.johns lore dropping on Landon and it’s crazy to me how well the end of rdr2 follows what he’s saying. I get that they would have planned the end around what he says here but it’s still a little baffling, specially because the way he’s retelling it makes it feels like it already happens y'know? Like this is the sort of recap statement I’d expect from a sequel

[postgamecontent]

Nintendo Switch Weekly Round-Up for the Week Ending November 30th, 2024

Hello gentle readers, and welcome to the Nintendo Switch Weekly Round-Up for the week ending November 30th, 2024. A pretty rough week this time around, but I suppose that's to be expected as we make our way into the last weeks of the year. Still, there are a few reasonably well-known games in the lot, and a few interesting oddballs. Let's check out this week in the world of Switch!

Featured New Releases

Riviera: The Promised Land ($34.99)

Sting's cult favorite tactical RPG has been available on the Switch for quite a while in Japan, but it seems like the publisher finally decided to give it a localization. There are some new quality of life features here, but the game itself remains basically the same as it ever was. I'm not sure I'd call it great, but it's certainly interesting in how it's designed. Do you want it on the Switch? Here it is.

Nine Sols ($29.99)

If you're looking for more of that Metroidvania-meets-Soulslike flavor that was all the rage a few years ago, this will likely be right up your alley. It's parry-heavy though, so make sure you're down with that kind of tight timing-based gameplay. The striking art style and over-the-top boss battles are the highlights here, but it's just a really well-made game all around. Something to hold the Hollow Knight fans over until Silksong, which is definitely, totally coming soon I'm sure.

Dungeons of Dreadrock 2 - The Dead King's Secret ($14.99)

Dungeons of Dreadrock was one of those games that seemed unassuming, but the further you played into it the more compelling it got. Well, here's a sequel and it does just about everything you would want a sequel to do. In a lot of ways it resembles the first game, but the puzzles are trickier, the story is more involved, and the dungeons are… you know, dreadrockier. If you enjoyed the original, this is an easy recommendation.

Crystal Breaker ($14.99)

Here's the latest shooter from indie developer Terarin, and this one has a bit of a Compile-meets-Star Force feel to it. The focus as usual is on the score attack aspect, and it's very well-built towards that end. You'll be rewarded for aggressive play in this game, with higher scoring potential if you get right up in the faces of your foes. I've played this one a fair bit already, and it's as good as you would expect from this developer.

The Epyx Games - Sports Collection ($11.99)

If you had a Commodore 64 back in the day like I did, then this collection probably doesn't need much introduction. You get every Commodore 64 game in the series, from Summer Games all the way up to The Games. Championship Wrestling is also in here, for good measure. Eight games all up, which is a lot of waggling and mashing for your money. The original manuals have also been included, which is very important as pretty much every event in these games has its own rules and controls. The strength of these games has always been in multiplayer, and up to eight players can compete locally here. I have a soft spot for these games, and that is absolutely nostalgia talking. You will have to decide how you feel on your own.

Arcade Archives Fantastic Night Dreams Cotton ($7.99)

Success' popular horizontal shooter featuring the charming candy-crazed witch Cotton arrives on Arcade Archives. This game has a ton of character and plays really well, too. It almost feels out of place for the year it released in. We've already had the X68000 version on Switch as an extra mode in the remake, but if you want the true arcade original, here it is.

Snow Bros. Wonderland ($29.99)

A release that presents many questions to ponder. Can Tatsujin as it exists today make a game worthy of the Toaplan legacy? Can Snow Bros. work in 3D? Is this a brand where people should even be asking for a third installment? From what I've played of this game so far, the answer to all of those questions is a surprising yes. I'm not going to say this is as good as the original, but it's rather fun.

Super Nodage World ($11.42)

Another round of Noda games for those who enjoyed the bizarre antics of the first set. Multiplayer fun locally or online, with lots of unusual scenarios offering varying degrees of entertainment. It's hard to write much about this in one paragraph, I suppose. It's a bunch of experimental game ideas, many of which riff off other games. Something for those looking for a different experience today.

Ironfall Invasion ($17.99)

This game is noteworthy for two reasons. First, it reflected the reputation of VD-DEV's games by being a technical showpiece on its original hardware, in this case the Nintendo 3DS. Second, it was the source of one of the earlier exploits on the handheld. It is not noteworthy for its gameplay quality, and there's a reason for that. Since those first two things don't really matter for this release, I think it's pretty hard to recommend in any capacity.

Sun Haven ($29.99)

Ideally this would be another good option for fans of Stardew Valley, but instead I must spend this paragraph issuing a warning. Do not buy this until it's had at least a few patches, because right now it's a broken crash-fest. I'm surprised the developer released it in this state, to be honest. There's apparently at least one hotfix incoming, but I'd very much play this as a wait-and-see until it gets its house in order.

Neon Blood ($20.99)

If I was handing out prizes for sheer graphical style, this game would fare a lot better. Unfortunately, I don't hand out any prizes at all. If I did, they would be for how many Spider-Mans a game has. This one has none, but it's an okay-ish adventure anyway. Sometimes there's some turn-based combat, and that's not very good at all. Come for the sights, if at all. You can probably do better at this price point, though.

Crown Wars: The Black Prince ($49.99)

I find when a genre doesn't have many games out in a given period, even the mediocre stuff can rise up. On the other hand, when a genre is well-represented, there isn't much reason to bother with games that are merely decent. That's especially the case when the genre involves games that take dozens of hours to finish. Anyway, this is a long way of telling you that you should probably give this particular strategy RPG a skip. It has a lot of technical issues but even if those weren't here it's hard to get enthused about what it has to offer.

Tokyo Psychodemic ($29.99)

Solve mysteries by examining footage and searching for evidence. Gather clues and put them together on your wacko board to try to come up with the real story behind each crime. This has been out on Steam for a while, and I can't remember the last time I saw a game with so many negative reviews from Japanese players. The main complaint seems to be that the story is terrible. I'm going to take their word for it, and you might want to as well.

Steam Prison -Beyond the Steam- ($44.62)

This is essentially a fandisk follow-up to Steam Prison. If you liked that game and are hungry for more, here you go. If you didn't like it or were fully satisfied with what it had to offer, then don't bother. If you haven't played the first game, you've got no business starting here. Well, that was easy. Next!

EGGCONSOLE The Scheme PC-8801mkIISR ($6.49)

What a name that is. The Scheme. You're probably imagining some kind of heist game or something, but this is actually a side-scrolling action-adventure game whose main claim to fame is its soundtrack by Yuzo Koshiro. Still, it's reasonably playable even if you don't understand Japanese, and that soundtrack is pretty decent. Must you have it? Probably not. But you might want to!

Mission in Snowdriftland ($8.99)

A pretty generic platformer whose main selling point is that you can play one level per day, like an advent calendar! Of course, that means there are only twenty-four levels. Well, plus one more bonus level and the final boss. Super Mario Bros. has thirty-two levels, and if you want you can pretend it's a mega-advent calendar. I can guarantee you'll have more fun!

Glitch Hero ($11.99)

Take a bit of Zelda-ish top-down action adventure and add in some simple programming puzzles, and that seems to be the idea behind Glitch Hero. As it's something of an educational affair, I think the main target here might be the younger set. Not a terribly long game, but long enough for the idea and audience.

Leo's Fortune ($6.99)

Oh hey, it's Leo's Fortune. I remember when this came out on iOS not that long ago. Let me check exactly when. Oh, early 2014. Ha! Ha ha! Okay, well. This is a fun little platformer. It's a relatively short game, not much longer than the aforementioned Mission in Snowdriftland, but you'll have a much better experience with it. Note if you have Apple Arcade, you can play this there.

Om Nom: Run 2 ($4.99)

I guess what I will say is that if you're nostalgic for a particular era of mobile gaming, this checks off at least a couple of boxes.

That's all for this week, friends. We'll be back next Saturday as we roll into December and the final weeks of the year. Next week is a little quieter, with the biggest title so far looking to be Stray. Well, we'll make what we can of it. As ever, I will plug both my Patreon (where you can find lots of cool exclusive articles) and my Ko-Fi (tips help me run this blog). There, plugged. I hope you have a super Saturday, and as always, thanks for reading!

[littlesistersti]

List of stories ideas I want to write

Please provide feedback. I desperately need some and these all have dead-ends. So many dilemmas

Belarus x reader chapter book, titled The Girl in White

originally meant for F! reader but I can practice GN! reader 

there is a scene involving the Brain Games version of Russian Roulette

Belarus and Ukraine switching between Russian and their native Belarusian and Ukrainian somewhere, I don’t know when

post 2020 update: no Russian

Reader is the observant type

many chapters of potential “dates” but they keep thinking “we’re friends, just another day of quality time”

don’t know if it’s human or countries

Yes, I know the title is a song with political origins. It’s on purpose, kinda... I’m afraid of referring to the event at some point in the fic because fans will attack me for using real dangerous events in a fanfic (like the “It’s wrong to write fanfics with 9/11″ thing)

I’ve no intention of writing “Belarus faints while the news replay the thing” or “Belarus comes home bloodied and the reader is worried because they haven’t heard from her in days” 

I want to showcase the white and red flag but again, I’m afraid of doing something wrong over innocent intentions 

besides, there’s some sort of cultural pride with “girl in white” from what I gathered

a Transformers and X-Men crossover, starring a techno-organic (like TFA Sari Sumdac) as the adopted daughter of Erik Lensherr 

set in McAvoy, not Stewart, times

Erik is a little afraid of harming her because, you know, metal

Xavier and Erik both know she’s different (metal, not human but is she a mutant? Or what?) but not sure on the specifics

until a giant robot crashed the party

originally planned for TFP verse but I think I should writer it better as All Media or G1-esque or something close

is it better if everybody at the school knows protag is a techno-organic or no?

Seychelles taken by the Decepticons, a prequel to my absurd idea of a 4-way crossover

How is it she’s taken by KO and BD, charged under their watch, but then hangs out with the cassettes?

they’re both red and blue … why gut feeling says to choose one over the other?

Soundwave is designed after Capcom Kai’s ver

update: Seychelles won’t be affiliated with KOBD

speaking of which, a sequel to the crossover where KO proposed to BD with help from Seychelles (over video call) very extravagant human way

extra as in everybody in the perimeter watches you

most bots ignore because KO is being his usual 

BD planned a tradition proposal like in IDW

this was supposed short, as in chapter length, found at the end of the crossover book

update: this is now separate

Loki is the mother of reader/oc

I originally thought about writing 2 ver: Norse myth ver like how Rick Riordan does it (but my creative liberties) & Marvel Cinematic Universe ver or an AU take on MCU

didn’t know about Lady Loki at the time

today I’ve decided to better not write the MCU

Update: eh why not, I’ll write it

story ends with the family watching Eurovision 2012 and as Loreen performs Euphoria, Loki and protag felt that

this could be a real book professionally published like Riordan’s books but I’m not sure of the legal stuff

am I allowed to include a copyrighted song in there? Am I better off with a fanfiction site? 

this is supposed to be a story on self-discovery and accepting your sexual orientation/gender identity ... for Loki

but through the protag’s perspective and observations

yeah I could just write a different book of just Loki and the husband and kid but in Loki’s perspective

worse part is, I have no progress on the Original ver but spent time and effort on Marvel ver ... I imagined a Loki-esque dress and outfit

protag went to a Tony Stark hosted party with a friend (whose parents are affiliated with Stark or SHIELD, I don’t remember) and Loki sees protag wearing the dress and internally panics

cliché but someone spills something on the dress and Loki helps clean it up with his magic

I realized I don’t know how old is the protag

the Euphoria ver protag is a teenager, that’s all I know

she/they (is this a girl reader or a GN reader?) met Hel at younger age, made her a flower crown, doesn’t know she’s her half-sister until present time

why is the Loki thing so dang long

Update: I have changed plenty of the above plot. The Loki book (both Norse myth and Marvel ver’s) is no longer about accepting your identity but now about reconnecting with your biological mom. There’s plenty of real life stories on that sort of thing.

also update: this Loki thing is now a serious thing and I can’t explain anymore, will neither confirm/deny if any of the above will be included/scrapped 

Marvel ver of the Loki story has a GN reader who is comfortable wearing dresses, that’s all I got. I remember brainstorming with my sister and “reader is a fan of the Avengers, groupie behaviour” and I kinda hate that. It felt like a different story. 

[glassmarcus]

Bayonetta 3: Devil May Cry's Shadow Remains Cast

*Played in November 2022, Written in December 2022. Holy Shit, I was pissed off when I wrote this.

The first Bayonetta was pretty damn good. Combat was slick, the attack list seemed endless, the music was hot, you could hold ZR to simultaneously break dance and shoot people, and each level had this cinematic flavor to it. Bayonetta was a game with personality and despite its roots to the Devil May Cry Franchise, it was truly one of a kind. It had problems with egregious Quick Time Events and drawn out mini games, but coming back to it after a decade of character action releases, I'm still impressed with the enemy design quality and how brutal yet earned the ranking system is. The core gameplay is tight and the flourishes of personality are icing on the cake. Bayonetta was a fun character to watch and control, and really put the stylish in the stylish action genre.

Bayonetta 2 is pretty damn good as well. It looks far better than Bayonetta 1 and runs smoother to boot. While the first game was plagued with bad mini games and quick time events, this game irons that stuff out and is mostly just combat, the thing we primarily come to these games for. Everything is streamlined in Bayonetta 2. There's nothing stopping you from having fun. You can use your Umbran Climax to solve any situation, you can avoid Sega arcade homages (for the most part), you aren’t penalized for using items really, you can still hold ZR to break dance, and the game won't kill or punish you for unfair reasons. But I feel like it loses a lot by taking this approach. Achieving Platinum ranks is less satisfying and it feels less cinematic as well due to how homogenized the experience is. There’s no changes in pace, just consistent gameplay that never really reaches the heights of it’s predecessor. Bayonetta 2 is smoother, but is also far less memorable. Because of this, I could never decide which one was better.

Bayonetta 3 was the perfect chance to find a balance between the first two games and become the best of them all. And it... doesn't even attempt to do this. It goes in an entirely different trajectory, creating undeniable peaks, but also brand new problems. In terms of raw gameplay I think this is the best game of the trilogy with a few reservations. It doesn't run as well as them due to its eyes being bigger than the Nintendo Switch’s stomach. The aesthetic and mechanical design of the enemies pales in comparison to the ones in previous games. But the options you are given in combat are substantially varied and those mini games and set pieces are all fine at worst and a wonderful palette cleansers at best. Aside from that Big the Cat ditch digging mini game. That was pretty bad.

Bayonetta 3 is not just a sequel to Bayonetta 2. It's somewhat of a spiritual sequel to Astral Chain in its combat philosophy. I’d say the combat is the perfect blend between the two. Astral Chain had simpler and slower combat than most titles developed by Platinum Games, but had the widest variance of moves you could pull off within a single fight. There are 15 combinations of move sets you can freely switch between, each with their own advantages and draw backs, and you are encouraged to play that way. You technically play as two characters, so the move sets aren't as cohesive as most action games, but the moves themselves never blend together and always have a functional clarity to them.

The first two Bayonettas are no strangers to having move set combinations. You are able to equip two weapons at a time, one Bayonetta can use for her hands and one for her feet. You can mix and match the weapons to create a custom arsenal which you can equip up to two of at a time. It’s less than the 15 in Astral Chain, but those 2 move sets have a ton of depth on their own. And while you do need to pause the game to select them, you do have dozens of potential combinations at your disposal. You can set up around 36 unique move sets in the first game and 56 in the second. That's an insane tool box to hand players and I have to respect it.

Unfortunately I feel the provided depth isn't that accessible and feels unnecessary a lot of the time. You can build a ton of stuff with it and even switch between move sets mid combo, but I never felt the need to do any of that in the 60 hours I spent playing the first one. Each weapon you get in Bayonetta has a long list of button inputs you use to pull off a different attack, but many of those attacks feel functionally the same and not worth learning once you understand a few effective strings. It’s far more important to learn the universal moves you buy throughout the adventure.

Bayonetta 3 has abandoned the mixing and matching and has adopted the two character approach. Only this time, your core abilities are on par with as any individual Bayonetta move set. You still get to control your second character with its own abilities which are more complex than the ones in Astral Chain. Minor note: the second character is a Kaiju. Bayonetta 3 meets a compromise. 6 combinations you can access without pausing, but each combination is deeper than either game and within the menu, you can equip 156 move sets. There's not quite as much sauce for Bayonetta herself, but there's more variety than ever before. Because the summons and weapons are so disjointed, each one has more mechanical diversity because they don't have to fit into the same frame work. They use the same inputs for the universal moves, but those inputs have way more variance in their output. They all have spin attacks, stingers, launchers, and triple jumps, but you never quite know the additional elements of these moves. Before I could divide weapons into 3 categories: arm weapons, feet weapons, or weapons that can go on either limb. Now I'd say there are no weapon types aside from the gun and not gun. Each weapon is it’s own thing and because of that, they are more interesting to use.

Variety is what Bayonetta 3 is all about. It is loaded with gameplay flavors. Shifting in controls, visual styles, and goals is just the way it rolls. I've seen a lot of people say this is a bad thing, making it harder to replay if you just want combat. While I can sympathize, it doesn't bother me all that much really. You can just skip past them like you could in Astral Chain and once you get 1 platinum rank on it, you never have to play it ever again. It’s a bit annoying on your first playthrough if you aren’t a fan. While the grading isn't as harsh as I’d like it to be, I do appreciate this replay system due to how much time it saves. And I get that some people just don't want the alternate gameplay styles at all, but I feel like a big part of Bayonetta is weird variety and this game has that in spades.

If I wanted a solid game where I just fight, I’d play Devil May Cry 5 because it's the best at being that. In a lot of ways Bayo 3 ends up feeling like a lesser DMC5 and gets lost in it’s enormous shadow, but having weird set pieces around every bend really sets it apart. Bayonetta 3 is the best at giving you a buffet in which every dish is decent and the main entrees are delectable. The breadth this game has to offer cannot be understated. There's even multiple characters to play as and they're....fine. Jeanne's levels are fine at least. Harmless I'd say because they take like 20 minutes of the total play time. Viola's are good once you get used to controlling her and come to terms with how Bayonetta is simply a better character to play. I started really enjoying the interplay between her armed and unarmed gameplay...and then the game kinda ends. I like Viola. I love her attitude. I love her cringe. And her theme song fucking shreds. My issue with the variety in Bayonetta 3 isn’t that there's too much and that none of it is good, but that some of it should be more fleshed out.

And then there's the level design which I think clenches why I prefer 3 from a design perspective. The past games felt cramped and cheap. The first game reuses a lot of map assets and a lot of the middle levels feel the same as the beginning ones. The levels themselves were often plagued with rough platforming and cramped space. The cramped space isn't an issue at all when trying to just play the game like a normal human being. But when they try to hide secrets, they run out of places to logically put them. This means you need to back track in order for the secrets to appear. It is a gross display of truly unhinged level craft. 2 has less of it, but it's still there. This most recent take on level design solves all of this. Worlds change drastically in aesthetic every 3 chapters so you never get tired of the stage flavor and the maps are more open and vertical. This gives opportunities to hide secrets in spots that require exploring new areas. The placement of these bonuses also force you to learn the movement mechanics granted by each weapon, making reaching them feel earned. And during replays (or just the first playthrough really, no one is forcing you to explore honestly), you can just B-line to the critical path like the other games. While the levels are wider, they aren’t much longer. The rewards for the secrets are also far better now. Instead of unlocking bonus features when finding Umbran Animals, you get actual new side levels which give their own rewards that end up being substantial.

So as far as gameplay goes, it clears the other two for me. It’s not quite a vertical improvement, but it feels kinda marketed towards me. Bayonetta 1 still has the most solid combat due to enemies attacking you from off screen the least. Bayonetta 2 takes it on an aesthetic and performance level easily. But 3 just tries so many things that I end up liking. I’m a fan of Astral Chain because it made it very easy to do a plethora of actions that required your brain to be in two separate places at once. Pulling off a tag team attack with your stand was satisfying in a way that doing a fat combo wasn't. And in Bayonetta 3, you can do both. There was no way I wouldn't be a huge fan of it. I ultimately had an absolute blast playing this….But good lord does it get dragged down in terms of character, narrative, and general vibes.

Much like how this game handles its tone, this review is about to take a drastic shift, Spoilers ahead, not that you should care about that.

This story is really bad. Nothing is explained clearly, no motivations are stated, people don't communicate like real humans, crucial details are presented as optional. It's nonsense. Bayonetta 3 refuses to linger on any details and denies the player any semblance of certainty. Everything in this narrative is fluid. Things just sort of happen and it doesn't matter how little sense it makes or stupid it feels, you just have to accept it. You can argue that the previous games were pretty bad too and only existed to drive the next set piece, but they still drove them. They got you to where you needed to go. I still understood the general plot points of those stories. Bayonetta 3 envelops the essence of 9 year old me, slamming my toys and stuffed animals together, imagining a story around it on the fly. Only it's less excusable here because this game has 4 writers and I am certain not a single one of them were in elementary school. Why are there no meaningful exchanges or reactions between characters? Why did the villain do anything he did? What the fuck is a fairy in this context? Who the hell is Dark Eve? Why did Bayonetta fail every single perception check she was tasked with? So many questions, most of them probably answered in the in-game data books I refuse to read through. This isn't Dark Souls and even Dark Souls is structured so that you can understand it without external reading. Because its plot is simple and makes sense. While this plot is neither of those things.

But I don't play Bayonetta for the story, I play Bayonetta for the personality. I play it to see cool characters do over the top things. I play it to see wacky dances in the middle of tense situations. I play it because I want to see a confident dominatrix make everyone around her look pathetic. The third entry kinda fumbles that last point. The character of Luka basically exist for Bayonetta to tease and belittle. Luka tries to act cool, and fails in the presence of a character who is actually cool, and then gets sent off to babysitter duty. That's what their dynamic was in past games. I'm not just upset they end up together at the end, and I’m not just upset the romance wasn't competently built up. I'm upset that their dynamic is that of equals, as Luka is presented as an extremely important figure here. Bayonetta... overtly respects Luka. It makes me sick. We don't need that shit. Bayonetta and Rodin are equals. Bayonetta and Jeanne are equals. If they are truly meant to be together throughout space and time, Luka should be the M to Bayonetta's S. But in 3, he's kinda just a cool confident guy who is a bit clumsy sometimes and also Faerie Jesus I guess. Why in the world does the story frame them as being soul mates across dimensions? He's just some dude. I can even get behind Viola being their love child. Them having sex eventually, in another universe, seems very plausible. But this "I don’t know what I would do without you" crap is a step too far.

Bayonetta is as representative of an independent woman as you can get. Yet she is assigned her corporate mandated male lover right at the end because someone needs to protect her. This run of the mill dorky guy getting the girl way out of his league shtick is something we've seen thousands of times and its deeply upsetting to see Bayonetta helplessly veer in that direction. It makes her so...ordinary. She's supposed to be one of a kind. Yet this game goes out of its way to make her relatively basic. In previous games she has sadistic fun with what she does. It's shown frequently in the cutscenes and the torture attacks. She feels in control at nearly all times. Here, it has dialed back those tendencies and makes torture attacks instant. She has a much weaker dominatrix aura now and that was a huge part in what made Bayonetta such a genius power fantasy. You get to play a hot woman exerting her twisted will on hideous beings. That's the dream! Bayonetta getting ousted to the Hetero-normative Malbolge is a fucking nightmare.

Mask off: If Luka was a girl I'd probably roll my eyes 50% less. I would still think it's bad, but at the very least it shows that queer people can have terribly developed romances as well and I think that's important for today's youth to understand.

It all feels a bit soulless at times. Exciting moments occur, but the context around them is meaningless. Things pop off and you want to indulge in the action movie schlock, but then it does whatever it can to undercut that moment. Everything in this game is punctuated by gritty deaths or intensely unfunny slapstick. When the game wants to be serious it chickens out and decides to be goofy. When the game wants to be fun, it dumps all over the party with the most downer shit possible. When tragedies are occurring, you're expected to cheer for over the top action. Bayonetta 3 is a playable Modern Action Movie. All Bayonetta Games are like this. But the Modern Action Movies of today are dissimilar to the Modern Action Movies of the 2000s.

It adopts the same bathos that has been plaguing the movie industry for years. It’s allergic to being sincere for too long despite the actual events being pretty dire. It undercuts it’s own plot constantly til the very end. Then presents itself as if it has any value. You DID have value Bayonetta 3. And then you grated at it, bit by bit, until all that was left were bitter shavings of quality sanded down by a coarse veneer of self apathy. Bayonetta 3 feels like it doesn't have pride in itself. It has self image issues. It wants to be DMC 5. It wants to be Astral Chain 2. It wants to be a billion dollar grossing Marvel movie. But it doesn't want to be Bayonetta. It almost gets away with these insecurities in terms of gameplay alone. But the narrative just whisper screams: “we don't actually like Bayonetta that much if we're gonna be real”. That's why you see every iteration of her die. That's she's as milquetoast as she's ever been. That's why they hand down the torch to Viola, a character they couldn't even bother making the dueteragonist. She had the potential to represent all the neurosis the game seems to have, yet she couldn’t even amount to that.

I didn't expect my feelings on the story to be so strong. I didn't really care for the first game's story, but I just kind of accepted it. It didn't have to be good to add to the game. It gave context and ample excuses for the cool stuff I wanted to see and gave the characters room to show who they were. Bayonetta 3 provided context which actively detracts from my enjoyment. I can still replay it and ignore it, but it’s tainted. I play Bayonetta 3 the same way I re-watch How I Met Your Mother, with a charitable lens that doesn't help when the bullshit piles up at the end of the story. The game is still good, but I don't like it as much because it pissed me off to this degree. Which is why I struggle to put this on the same pedigree as the other Bayonetta games. I will if pressed, but it gets by on a technicality just by being "mechanically interesting" to me. It feels like this was made into a Bayonetta game just so that the franchise could have another winner. It's a ringer. I beat it and got a strange feeling that I couldn't place at the time, but now I can. Bayo 3 hustled me. Bayonetta 3 dawn's the masquerade of a Bayonetta game and plays the role so well that we have no choice but to believe it. But you might be keen enough to spot the true difference between it and it's fore bearers. Because of all the story, character and major gameplay decisions this game makes, none of them disqualify it from being a true sequel other than this:

You can't hold ZR to break dance in this game.