#the problem is you have to be somebody for opportunities to come to you

[sillimancer]

sure would love to feel something other than Sad About Being Unemployed for just a bit 😩😔

[batsplat]

oxley bom pod was talking about the friendly atmosphere in the paddock today and they brought up vale as someone who would make himself hate his opponents in order to beat them. they mentioned biaggi before saying vale didn’t need to make up a reason there lol, and the gibernau, stoner, lorenzo, marquez. thought it was interesting to hear them say that especially since oxley specifically had a particularly close working relationship with vale!

got around to listening to the podcast rather belatedly + had a chat about this general topic that helped me organise my thoughts on this a bit. I transcribed the most relevant comments - probably some small errors because of cross-talk and like... I'm a fast transcriptionist but can't be bothered to properly do it, here:

O: One is because racing is so fucking complicated now. [...] They've got so much to do, so much pressure - to have the negative energy of anger and hatred is actually - B: It's a waste. O: It's a bad thing, you're just wasting your energy. I mean it depends on the character, okay - B: So maybe Vale was the last who really needed to hate somebody to give him - and now even Vale invites Casey to his ranch to ride with him. But he really needed to - It was not difficult for him to hate, but he - Some riders he really looked for a reason to hate them even more, because then he could dig deeper in himself - because he was just a happy chap - in order to beat them. O: Max Biaggi. B: But it was easy to hate Max! That was not very difficult. Sete Gibernau, basically he needed to try - O: Casey Stoner. Sete Gibernau. Marc Marquez. B: He hated Vale probably before Vale hated Casey! But that's another podcast. O: Yeah, I think so. No, definitely, definitely, definitely. [...] Some people - they get fired up by hating other people, and that's fair enough.

so yeah. I mean, qualified agreement, I guess? they're definitely right about casey hating valentino before valentino hated casey lol. if valentino ever really hated casey at all. which is not necessarily a mainstream take, so it's nice to hear it!

I also agree with this general take about... y'know, the creeping professionalisation of the sport and how that affects how likely you're going to get fun drama. goes beyond just hours spent looking at data and also about... having a bit of a life, having time to actually form a personality. and as I've said before, it's the fans! clickbait news + social media featuring partisan fans, who aren't just going to read every statement but also react to every statement like it's life or death shit. pecco and jorge have gotten push back for some incredibly, deeply, ridiculously mild comments these last couple years. they HAVE to phrase everything they say as inoffensively as possible while still getting their points across, and even then they'll generally be jumped. like, forget valentino, how do you think casey would have fared in this current media environment? up against a fanbase as partisan as valentino's - or marc's nowadays? not well is the answer! I think to some extent you can get away with this stuff more depending on people's perceptions of you, so marc and increasingly pedro will generally be fine... but on the flip side, the pecco's, the casey's, the jorge x2's of this world... everything they say gets read in the worst possible light, but now everyone's just so much louder about it

but this ask was more about valentino than the current landscape, so I'll get back to him. I do think it is a bit of an issue if you frame it as a completely either-or issue - at the end of the day, most competitors will probably motivate themselves through their enemies at least a little. pecco definitely uses negative emotions to fire him up, people criticising him and the like. casey absolutely used them, often directed at valentino. all the comments from the haters to fire them up right, to show everyone how wrong they are. on a psychological level, there is not something *fundamentally* different between using your rivals or the fans or the press to motivate yourself - it's still the same underlying motivational process (and indeed the podcast references lawson's distaste for the press). casey signs off his first every grand prix win by saying how nice it was to beat a spanish rider sponsored by the circuit, like are we calling that pure love for the game? he and mostly martin and to a somewhat lesser degree pecco do share a tendency to... believe the world is out to get them, and use that to fire themselves up. idk if casey strictly needed to do that or if it was just ingrained at a young age and became a stable self-perpetuating way in which he viewed the world but also, it doesn't really matter, right. maybe in both valentino and casey there is a pure unpolluted soul who could have enjoyed winning just for the sake of winning, but in practise it's clearly more complicated than that. as has been recently discussed in quite some depth in this parish, late 2007!casey was getting sympathetic interview write-ups that described his mentality as informed by 'bitterness and rejection'. including bitterness at valentino, who at that point in time was not meaningfully reciprocating any of that stuff!

so I do have a bit of a bone to pick with this idea of 'the last guy'. valentino didn't 100% motivate himself by hating his enemies, the blokes after him didn't do so 0%. I think of the aliens casey is probably the most similar to him by this metric... some are definitely less inclined to do so. lorenzo's a bit of an odd case where at times it felt like he was better at making other guys hate him than necessarily hating them himself... complicated guy but I think he actually really did want to mostly fuel himself in a positive manner, except then for various reasons both external and internal he needed to also draw a bit more from. the darkness. marc is more likely than either valentino or casey to just fight to win for the sake of winning... then again you do have cute little incidents like misano 2019 where marc - off the back of two back-to-back last lap defeats - miraculously happened to find an extra bit of motivation through a spat in qualifying after duly harrying the yamaha's all weekend. again, it's a question of degree, right. marc is just inherently less restless than valentino and less inclined to think the world is out to get him than casey, which are all contributing factors

with valentino, I think I disagree a teensy bit in terms of framing more than I do in substance. first off, not to be a broken record on this, but obviously all of these feuds were very different, involving very different emotional landscapes. I don't think it's correct to say valentino needed an enemy to fire himself up, but he did always need something. some mission to dig his teeth into, some way of making the whole thing exciting. of making it fun! I'm not all that convinced of this happy-go-lucky characterisation of valentino - a lot of the time he had to go to an awful lot of effort to keep himself entertained, and when that didn't work he could get pretty miserable. he needed to keep himself stimulated, he needed to stop himself from feeling lonely, he needed to give himself a purpose to work towards. hatred did help him in a motivational sense, and he's talked in his autobiography about how anger has made him ride faster. it's useful... up to a point. it's just not a uniform thing across rivalries

my sense is that it comes down to two things. 1) he needs something to motivate himself and get excited, be it a rival or whatever. and 2) he needs some distance from his rivals. motivating yourself through a rival is not quite the same thing as motivating yourself through an enemy. for instance!! casey was only really his enemy once they were no longer on-track rivals - it was unrelated to actual competitive calculus, and was in some ways more about casey than it was about valentino. when valentino did that shit to casey at laguna 2008, he's not like... mad at casey. he doesn't hate him. he's gleeful at least in part because of how obviously pissed casey is, but he doesn't hate him. because he doesn't need to hate casey to want to beat him! casey is already so considerable a challenge that beating him is reward enough in itself - he's this super tricky puzzle for valentino to work away at... and when he comes up with the answer at laguna 2008, he's delighted. he doesn't really hate jorge in 2009 either - dislike, yes, hate, no. he's already plenty stimulated by the challenge of beating his feisty young teammate... he doesn't need anything else. he gets through 95% of the 2015 season with barely any animosity with his title rival - there, he would have seen it as distracting from his primary mission of winning his tenth in a way that was entirely disconnected from any particular rival. he also runs into the problem that it feels like any psychological warfare feels like it's getting aimed more at marc than jorge - but that's entirely accidental, he isn't TRYING to fuck with marc in the middle of the season. why would he!! and jorge refuses to be fucked with on the track because he's just never in the same postcode as valentino, and valentino isn't attempting to fuck with him off the track. he's barely even doing like,, mild mind games, like they're quite actively friendly the entire year

(I do sometimes think you can do a bit of displacement here where you don't necessarily need to hate the person you're actively fighting to get the job done - cf marc at misano 2019, also... tbh casey 2011-12 kinda had that vibe where he was getting all that energy out of his system in valentino's direction and could then keep things civil with his actual title rival. there's a LITTLE bit of that 2015 even pre phillip island but mostly valentino does have a more early 2008 'we move in silence' vibe or whatever that pecco tweet read. this is the restlessness thing, right - he kinda needs to fill his brain with SOMETHING)

which brings us to the second element: needing some distance. zero problem with biaggi, which is kinda the training wheels feud in that it takes a bit of a life of its own before valentino REALLY was intending it to. he's a kid (literal eighteen year old) who's kinda snarky about biaggi in the press and biaggi takes it EXTREMELY poorly and confronts him about it and it kind of spirals from there. with casey + jorge, valentino ensures that they never GET too close. I do think there is an element of... y'know, not wanting to be close friends with the guys who are your title rivals, because it's harder to beat people you care about and deprive them of the thing they want most in the world. which I actually think is pretty normal!! valentino's problem is that on a few occasions he has ended up in rivalries with blokes he was at some stage close in - and either he preemptively withdraws as with marc and... ? probably...? melandri...? - or the relationship deteriorates and then blows up as with sete and also marc. the 'preemptive withdrawing' bit does suggest a degree of self-awareness with regards to his own competitive process - and as has been previously argued in this parish, valentino's relationship with marc developing as it did was in large part due to his competitive situation 2010-14. the two of them falling out was probably always going to happen if they were competing, the two of them falling out that badly required valentino's stint in the competitive wilderness to let him lower his guard to such an extent

so that's the argument in broad strokes. yes, valentino can use enemies to motivate himself - he certainly enjoys having rivals, he enjoys fucking with them, he enjoys figuring them out and measuring himself against them and also a little bit of competitive edge. that doesn't mean he needs enemies per se, or certainly he wouldn't have seen some of his rivals in quite such extreme terms (casey in particular of course felt differently). he did need SOMETHING to motivate him... rivals, definitely - enemies, perhaps. and he also needed a bit of distance from those he was competing against. which post-sete he tended to preemptively enforce, except that one time when he didn't, and when it wasn't preemptively enforced it did have a tendency to blow up rather spectacularly. so in essence, you still end up at the same conclusion, right - valentino did get a lot out of having enemies, did motivate himself with them, did need to beat someone. but the working process is a bit different as I see it. sometimes making enemies is about emotional regulation, y'know. feuding as a healthy outlet for competitive tension. as it should be

[rememberwren]

I finally wrote for Gaz <3 Quick little blurb about BFF!Kyle / fem! reader. You ask Kyle to practice sucking dick. You know. On him. Ft. a rather subby Kyle Gaz Garrick. Part 2 here.

-

The first thing Kyle does after you ask to practice sucking his cock is—

—jerk off. I mean, he agrees. He showers, even though he had showered earlier that day. But in the shower, he jerks off because he knows that if he doesn’t, he’ll be spilling himself into your mouth straight away. It’s hardly the learning experience he wants to give you.  

Erection sated, what he doesn’t do is think about the why. He doesn’t think about the next person, the one you might be trying to learn these skills for. That way only leads to pain, and he’s not interested in the angst tonight, not when he’s got this opportunity in front of him packaged up neater than a gift at Christmas. 

You sit on your heels while he sits on the edge of the bed, naked. For cumming only ten minutes ago, he’s having no problem getting hard, not with the way you look at his cock: a little dumbfounded, a little curious, a little scared, a little excited. 

“It doesn’t bite. At least it didn’t the last time I checked,” he teases. He doesn’t admit that it was only ten minutes ago. “You can touch it if you want. Just stop whenever you want to stop, yeah?” 

Comforted, you reach out and stroke your fingertips along the velvety length of his cock. You trace around the foreskin, down the shaft, even brave enough to gently cradle his balls in your palm.

Kyle loves it—loves turning himself into a statue beneath your touch, loves existing only for your innocent exploration. He murmurs soft words of encouragement beneath his breath, watching as your confidence blossoms like a flower beneath rain. Until you feel bold enough to lean forward and place a chaste little kiss on the head. 

His cock jerks, a quiet moan pulled from his throat at the softness of your mouth. You pull back, laughing a little at the unexpected movement of his cock. You’re moving plenty yourself though: can’t seem to sit still, shifting from one side to the other. Anything to get a little pressure on your pussy. 

“Are you already wet?” Kyle asks. “Just from kissing my cock?”

You laugh again, embarrassed, and cover your face with your hands. Kyle reaches out to peel them away, eager to see your every minute expression. It’s important that he does, he tells himself, so that he can tell if you’re uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with enjoying the way your mouth drops open a little when you stare too long, the way your eyes get heavy-lidded when you breathe in the clean scent of him and his shower gel.

“First lesson,” he says, guiding your wrists back down to your sides. “Anyone ever asks you to suck their dick and you don’t want to, say no. If they insist, kick them right in the balls.” 

“I already knew that,” you huff, rolling your eyes at him. 

“Second lesson: don’t bite it off. That’s the end of the lessons, really. Take it from somebody with a dick, we’re just grateful it’s in your mouth. As long as we get it back in one piece, we can’t really complain about whatever you do to it.” 

Your laughter goes a long way to relaxing that last anxious part inside his chest, the one that is worried he has somehow pressured you into this (despite your insistence that this was what you wanted; that Kyle was the only man in your life you felt safe enough to explore with). When you put your hands on his thighs to brace yourself, kneeling up, he laces your fingers together with his own, smoothing the calloused pad of his thumb across your knuckle. 

“Go at your pace. You’re in charge unless you decide otherwise,” he says, watching as your mouth comes closer to his aching length. Your eyes flicker up to him, the picture you make of pure pornography as you kneel between his thighs like a sinner, holding onto his hands like a saint. 

You place open-mouthed kisses along his length, tasting him, working your way up and down his cock. It’s a test of his restraint to keep still and quiet and let you explore like this, when all he wants is your lips wrapped around him. A bead of precum wells at the slit of his cock and he watches your eyes find it, fingers wiggling free of his own so that you can reach out and drag the pad of one finger through the pearly seed. Your eyes find his, a hint of caution there, like you aren’t sure if you’re about to do something bad—but whatever you see in his face (likely something far too honest, far too open and worshipful)---settles your anxieties. You slip the finger into your mouth and suck it clean, nose wrinkling a little at the taste. 

“You don’t have to do that,” he says, breathless. “You don’t have to finish me at all, okay?” 

You roll your eyes again. “Gaz. Stop talking.” 

“Shut me up,” he challenges, holding out his hands as if to say, Be my guest. 

You take a deep breath, shoulders squaring. Your mouth opens and then the head of his cock rests against the warm wetness of your tongue. Whose eyes shut first? He couldn’t say. Your mouth closes around him, sucking softly on just the tip as your fingers come to wrap around the base, thumb stroke along the underside. Kyle mutters a curse, sucking in a breath and holding it until his lungs burn. Fuck, your mouth is like liquid heat, the little suckling motions of your tongue soft and sweet as you test out different intensities and pressures. You lean forward, taking more of him past your lips, and he lets out a long, low groan. 

He forces his eyes open, suddenly aware that he is missing it. You’re here, on your knees, sucking his cock like the best girl, and he’s missing it. You’re already watching him, a smile visible at the corners of your eyes. You take him into your mouth until his head nudges at the back of your throat where it turns soft. You gag a little, and he curses again, a sound which has you shifting against your heels. 

You set a hesitant rhythm, head bobbing. It takes you time to coordinate your hand and your mouth, but once you do, it tears a whine from his throat. You keep yourself comfortable, only taking him in to the back of your mouth, but he has no complaints, his belly tight with pleasure, breaths coming shallow and fast. 

“That’s it,” he breathes, reaching out to cup your jaw in his hand, thumb smoothing along the hollow of your cheek as you suck. “So good. Doing it just right, aren’t you?” 

You make a little needy sound, shifting on your heels again. 

“Wet, pretty girl?” he wonders. “You can’t sit still. Is this turning you on?” 

You nod, his cock in your mouth. 

“Show me,” he says, half-delirious with need. “Touch yourself and show me.” 

You remove the hand from the base of his cock and slip it down the front of your leggings. When you pull it free and hold it up to the light, your first two fingers are wet, a line of slick connecting them thin as spidersilk until it breaks while he watches. 

“Fuck,” he breathes. Part of him wants to leave you in pain, desperate for relief, to watch you squirm between his legs like you’re kneeling on hot coals. The other part of him wants to feel the vibration of your moans around his cock, and that is the part which wins. He’s always considered himself a generous guy. “Touch yourself—’s only fair. You’re making me feel so good.” 

You get clumsy once your hand is between your legs. Your other hand holds the base of his cock steady, but he can tell you lose focus on him, the slick sounds of your fingers rubbing against your clit just audible. Sometimes your mouth goes loose and lax around him, tongue aimless. Kyle groans, hips jerking a little deeper into the softness of your mouth, desperate for anything you give him. You’re the one on your knees, but you’re so far in control that it’s almost laughable. 

“Don’t stop,” he whispers, stroking where your lips are split open around him, using the pad of his thumb to feel his cock through the softness of your cheek. “Please don’t stop, pretty girl, just—please—” 

You blink, coming back to yourself a little, and the suction around his cock tightens to a point somewhere between bliss and pain. Though your efforts have been clumsy and the lesson has gone properly off the rails, he can feel his balls drawing up tight against his body, his cock throbbing against your tongue. 

“I’m close—pull off, baby,” he says. 

You stiffen, eyes going wide. He slips in too deep and you gag around him, a wet choke that shouldn’t turn him on as much as it does, your eyes slipping shut until your lashes rest on your cheeks, broken little whines filtering out around his cock as you cum on your fingers. 

It’s too much for him. He pulls out just in time, one hand cupped loosely around the head of his cock and the other stripping its length in short, quick strokes as he cums after you, teeth clenching, jaw tight around your name in his mouth. He fills his hand and some slips out between his fingers, dripping down onto your thighs below. 

“Holy shit,” he breathes. “Are you okay?” 

You nod, working your hand free from your leggings. You’re slick all over your palm. He wants to lick it clean. 

“I didn’t pay attention,” you blurt out. 

He stares. 

You continue: “Like, at all. I’m sorry, Kyle, I was so—I was distracted. But I think I’m better now. Can we…can we try again?” 

More cum drips from between his fingers. You squeal and stick your open hand beneath his to catch it before it can ruin your leggings more than they already are. After a lengthy silence, Kyle sighs. 

“Yeah, pretty girl, we can try again. Give me ten minutes.”

[awrkive]

Idk I must have some problems I need to talk about with my therapist, but I NEED the #3 lmao

summary: jungkook is usually a nice guy from the way he interacts with other people – but the only exception comes to you. and you can't figure out why.

w/c: 3.5k

note: aurkayyyy general consensus says write # 3 and that post got 40 likes idk so here it is ig.. unedited cos its 3am but also i tried my very best awrkive nation 😞💔 under the cut cos its long asf for a drabble crying

People always gravitate to you. You have this sort of unbreakable and contagious energy around you that just pulls people right into your orb – your classmates in middle school through college, your cousins, even the cashiers at the cafes you like visiting downtown every here and there. 

And it is why Jeon Jungkook from your Environmental Science class baffles you. Because while everybody in the lecture hall – even prof Nam – likes to give you a smile or even just a nod of acknowledgement when you walk in, he does the total opposite and will just do about anything to avoid you. 

It had been during the first week of the term when you realized this fact. When Jungkook seemed to have abhorred the idea of sitting next to you because somebody had “stolen” his seat. 

Of course he knew the fact that you technically could not “steal” a seat in college – there are no such things as assigned seats in college, after all – so you had kindly offered the empty chair beside you, then, but he just looked at you with his knitted brows, like he couldn’t believe you had asked him that in the first place. 

In the end, he chose the free seat at the back of the hall – even though as far as you know him, he’s the type to like sitting in the front rows to engage with the class better. 

However, that did not deter you from trying to befriend him. In fact, it just made you want to get closer to him more. 

You like Jeon Jungkook. Not romantically, of course! You just like the fact that he is extremely smart and listen, he seems nice. The girls always have something good to say about him, and he’s friends with one of your closest friends, Namjoon – whose judgment you trust most of all. He’s acquainted with most of the people you know and you’ve seen him interact with others – he’s charming and doesn’t exactly look broody and uninterested when he’s with them. 

So when Prof Nam partnered you both in a presentation for your final requirement for the term, you were over the moon to have been given the opportunity. 

“__,” Jungkook calls, but you’re way too busy admiring the strands of his hair that had now been dyed to gold – a contrast to his previously dark brown locks. It’s mostly hidden from the beanie he’s wearing. Something you’ve noticed he’s been wearing a lot these days even though it’s not that cold. 

You think it’s because he’s not too keen on getting attention for his newly dyed hair.

Jungkook calls your name one more time, and this time it snaps you out of your trance. 

“Hm?” You look up, blinking at him – only to be met with his knitted brows again. At that all too familiar look by now, you frown slightly, knowing the tell-tale signs of his annoyance. 

“I’ve been asking you about biofuels for the past two minutes.” 

“Oh!” Your eyes widen for a bit, quickly looking at your iPad. “Uhm… it’s here…” you slide your device over to his direction and he’s quick to read over your work. With him seated beside you, it’s easy to get a waft of his cologne – and you don’t even think it’s cologne in the first place. It just seems like his natural smell – like fresh laundry. Downy or something. 

Ever since you started working on the project, you’ve been going to cafes and the library to work on it – for at least an hour – and you’re starting to get accustomed to everything Jeon Jungkook. He’s smart – and that’s a given – but he also smells really good; that’s what you noted specifically.

But most importantly, he’s dyed his mid-length hair blonde. And he looks different but somehow… really handsome. With his prescription glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, you just can’t help but to look. 

“Where is your citation for this?” He says, pointing to a certain part of your work. 

At that, you grow anxious. Jungkook’s really serious about his academics. And even though he looks distracting with his blonde hair right now, you can’t help but feel a bit nervous. 

You’re not dumb or something! You’ve survived three years of college just fine – you’re just not the likes of him, or Namjoon, for that matter. But you do well for yourself. 

But Jungkook, reading over your work with furrowed brows, you can’t help but second-guess yourself.

Especially when the next thing you can say is just, “Oh, uhm… I thought citations would only be after every four sentences?” 

“Did you not read the instructions?” Jungkook says. It’s not harsh but there’s a certain lilt to it. A bit pointed that you visibly recoil. As if noticing you do that, Jungkook clears his throat and looks right back to your iPad. With a tone that considerably sounds gentler to you this time, he says, “You should put a citation every three sentences.” 

“Okay…” You say. You look at Jungkook and you give him a tight-lipped smile when he meets your gaze. “I’m sorry.” 

His gaze lasts longer than necessary – he almost always doesn’t really look at you but this time he does, and just when you’re about to ask him what’s wrong, he peels his eyes away from you and turns to his computer, not saying anything. 

You sulk in your seat, revising your paper while Jungkook acts like a stranger beside you again. 

“Kook…” you say after awhile. You watch as Jungkook visibly stills at the nickname. Nonetheless, he hums, but he doesn’t stray his eyes from his laptop. “I really like your hair.” 

Nothing. 

“Kookie…” This time, you poke at the material of his purple hoodie. “I said I like your hair.” 

He doesn’t budge. 

When you make a move to poke him again, he finally says, “I heard that.” 

You turn back to your google doc with a pout. 

You don’t know what you’re expecting from him. A thank you, maybe? But that would be unlikely for him to say to you. He’s just always so quiet around you. Annoyed, irritated—

“Thank you.” 

At first you don’t quite catch it, but you kind of got the gist. Unbelieving, you turn to him with a confused look. “What?” 

“Isaidthankyou.” 

But it was spoken so fast that you just grew more puzzled. 

“What…?” 

“Nevermind.” He says, hacking away on his laptop again. 

You pout the whole time writing your paper. 

———

You’re just about to approach Jungkook to talk about your recent development for your project when somebody beats you to it first. 

It’s Han Hyorin from the same class. You made friends with her from another minor you’ve had in the previous semester and she was a really nice woman – sort of similar to you. A big ball of sunshine, all smiles and cheerful and full of energy. It’s why you clicked instantly a few months ago. 

But that’s also why it surprises you when you see her talking animatedly with Jungkook and him listening to her attentively – smiling and laughing. 

Certainly not his vibe when you’re the one in conversation with him. 

Listen, you’ve been so accustomed to his behavior to you all this time that you just don’t mind it now. But for the record, you just thought that maybe – he just can’t quite level up to your energy. You’re too bubbly and he’s too… calm. And you get that! You certainly don’t hold it against him. 

But as he catches a glimpse of you his mood turns completely different, no longer smiling ear to ear. It makes Hyorin stop speaking, turning her body to look at your direction as well. 

“Oh, hi __!” She greets, grinning. “I was just talking to Jungkook here.” 

“Hi, Hyorin.” You wave at her, mirroring her smile. You walk towards them, hugging your iPad tight to your chest. “Hi, Jungkook.” 

He just sends you a timid smile. 

Weirdly enough, it makes your heart twinge. 

“Anyway, are you two gonna work on your project? Sorry for keeping him up, if that’s the case. I’ll be off then.” Hyorin says as she picks up her bag. She looks at Jungkook once again, saying, “I’ll send the link to you later, Jungkook.” 

Jungkook only nods before Hyorin walks out of the lecture hall.

You watch her disappearing back before you turn to Jungkook. “I didn’t know you guys were friends.” 

He shrugs. “We talk sometimes.” 

“Ah.” You nod. 

“Anyway, you got my text, right? Hoseok said it’s too crowded at 556 right now. And my laptop’s dead so I can’t use it either. Left my charger at my place,” he says, starting to put his stuff in his backpack. 

“Yeah, I got it,” you say, stepping out a bit to let him out of his row. You follow beside him when he begins to walk. “Well, where should we do the project?” 

You see Jungkook wince. “I have no choice but do you mind if I just suggest my place? I have a roommate but he’s not around this time. Or we can just call it off for today and resched.” 

You blink at him. “Your place?” 

He arches a brow. “Yeah. Is it okay? Do you have something else in mind?” 

Shaking your head, you look straight ahead. “It’s fine.” 

“It’s just a three minute walk from the campus. Do you mind?” 

“Nope.” 

“Alright, then.” 

——— 

Jungkook thinks you’re strange today. 

You’re usually so full of stories. Never ran out of things to say. His silence never deterred you from sharing something and even though Jungkook would deny it to you and to all his friends – he actually secretly enjoys your blabbering. Finds most of them funny.

But right now, you’re all quiet on your iPad and notes, focused on doing your work. The last thing he’s heard you say something was when you commented earlier, “This is a nice place,” when you stepped inside the threshold of his and Taehyung’s apartment.

No comment about his hair. Or his hoodie. Or the stupid occasional, “You look handsome today.” that makes his heart perform backflips against his ribcage and makes him all nervous that he can’t really look straight into your eyes for the rest of your interaction.

He finds it strange that he finds you strange today. He should be… happy about this right? He always tells his friends that you’re too… loud when they ask why he doesn’t seem to like you. For the record, he does not not like you. Jungkook just thinks you’re too much. 

Or that you make him feel too much it drives him insane.

“Are you alright?” He breaks the ice after a few minutes. He couldn’t help it. This isn’t like you at all. At this point, you should have already told him twenty different stories that includes your breakfast and the bird that keeps knocking on your window every 5am. By this time, you should have already asked him if he likes your outfit or some stupid shit like if he likes your nails. 

For the record, he likes all of them. Your blush pink nails and your pink skirt that stops above your thigh, exposing your smooth thighs that Jungkook always berates himself not to look at. You always wear skirts. He hates them. 

He hates that he doesn't really hate them. At all. 

“Huh?” You turn to look at him, blinking. Meek and pouty and puzzled. You look so cute it confuses the hell out of him. 

“I asked if you’re okay.” Jungkook says, leveling his voice. Lest he gives himself away. What would he give away, though? That he’s weirdly worried about your silence? That he’s starting to think maybe you’re getting fed up with his constant avoidance of you and you’re starting to realize he’s a shit person and he doesn’t deserve any of your time? 

That he’s putting way too much meaning into this? 

And what for? 

“Oh,” you utter. A bit taken aback. You nibble on your bottom lip and Jungkook tries hard not to focus too much on the way your gloss makes them look so plump. You had pretty lips. Jungkook’s not that prideful to admit that. Just to himself, though. “Yeah. I am fine. Why do you ask?” 

He clears his throat. “Nothing.” 

You look at him with furrowed brows but don’t really say anything further. “Okay.” 

When you go back to working in silence simultaneously again, Jungkook finds himself not being able to focus on the words of the journal article he’s reading. There’s a sentence to it he’s been going right over and over again. Everytime he reads it, it’s like the point just crosses right over his head and his efficacy in the language degrades every single time he repeats it internally.

All the while, you’re still quiet. 

And Jungkook’s had enough. 

Why weren't you saying anything? 

“__.” 

“Hm?” When you tilt your head to look at him, Jungkook nearly falls over his bed. You’re across the room on his computer desk while he’s on the mattress. 

God, you are so unbelievably beautiful without trying it makes his head ache. 

“Are you –uh. What’s with you today?” He finally asks. He watches as your face contorts into an expression of confusion once again, which he can’t really blame you for feeling the way. 

“What’s with me today?” 

“You’re just…” he tries to find the right words. “Quiet.” 

You don’t say anything for a while that Jungkook was about to take his words back. 

“Oh… I’m just not feeling well today, I think.” 

His brows furrowed. You looked perfectly fine today. You were your usual sunshine shelf when you stepped in class – all big grins and pretty laugh Seo Jihyun as usual was trying too hard to get your attention beside you all day. 

“Really?” He asks. “Do you need something?” 

It takes you by surprise. But you recover fast. “No, it’s fine.” 

“We don’t have to do this today if you’re feeling under the weather.” 

You laugh. And Jungkook thinks that’s a win. He thought he wasn’t getting any of that for today. 

“It’s fine, thank you, Jeon.”

Jeon?! Jeon, like his surname? 

He chooses to ignore that. But then a few minutes passed and he spoke again. God, he couldn’t stand any of this.

“How’s the bird?” 

“The bird?” You parrot back. 

“The bird at your window.” 

“Oh!” A flash of recognition goes through your face. “That. Well – as usual it knocked on my window again.” you giggle and it’s the first time Jungkook feels a little light ever since you entered his place. 

Good. This is good. 

“I didn’t know you’d remember that.” You say, giving him a small smile. 

Jungkook feels his cheeks burning so he had to look away. “You tell me about it everyday.” 

There’s a pout he can feel you’re sporting when you say, “But I thought you don’t care.” 

Jungkook frowns at that. 

But he realizes… he gets it. He doesn’t exactly show the opposite.

When he looks at you, your eyes are solemn and your downturned lips look so sad that it makes him feel like shit. 

See. This is why he’s always confused when he’s with you. You make him feel so much all at once and he can’t quite put it. 

“You tell me a lot of stuff everyday.” Is what he settles with. 

“Fair.” You say after awhile. “But uhm…” 

“Yes?” Jungkook immediately says, intrigued. You’re about to speak when his phone rings. You both look at the small device lying on his bed. When Jungkook picks it up, the caller ID says Han Hyorin. “Sorry, I’ll just pick this up.” 

Pressing on the green icon, he hears Hyorin’s voice at the end of the line. 

“Hey, Kook,” 

“Hi, Hyorin. What is it?” 

“What was your student email again? I can’t really find it on the roster.”

Jungkook recites it and then that’s the end of the conversation. He finds it strange because she could’ve just texted him but anyway, he turns to you again after the call ends. 

“Who was that?” You ask curiously. 

“Hyorin.” 

You still in your seat. Then nod. 

You don’t say anything again. 

And that stretches into another few minutes that Jungkook is once again confused. When he looks right over to you, you’re all up in your device. 

He stands up from the bed, leaves his laptop on the mattress, and then walks right over to your direction to stand behind the chair you’re seated on. Ducking down a bit, he peers over your shoulder to see what you’re doing. 

“You’re almost done?” 

When you turn back, your faces are so close to each other that his swivel chair creaks a little when you get taken aback. Jungkook steps back. 

“Yeah. I think so. You?” You say, looking up at him. 

Jungkook runs his fingers through his hair, inserting his hand on his pockets as he looks straight ahead on your screen. 

“I’ll finish up later.” 

You nod then turn back to your iPad. 

Jungkook’s eyebrows meet once again and he sighs. 

“__,” 

“Yeah?” 

“Are you mad at me?” 

You turn to him so quickly. “What?” 

“Are you mad at me?” Jungkook asks because he can’t take any of this anymore. You’re so… distant. And it makes him feel like he’s on edge. “You’ve been so quiet since we got here. I want to apologize if I did something wrong. But even if I didn’t, then I’m still sorry.”

Jungkook watches as your lips part, surprised to hear the words coming out of his mouth. Jungkook’s not the one to shy away from apologies – if he’s done something wrong, then he makes sure to take accountability. 

It’s different when it’s with you, though. He knows he isn’t exactly his nicest and his best to you… but it’s his complicated feelings that get in the way. He doesn’t know how to handle them. He doesn’t know how to handle you. 

“N-no!” You say. “You didn’t do anything.” 

He sends an arched brow your way. 

You shake your head vigorously. “It’s just… uhm… I thought…” 

“You thought…?” 

You look away, and it’s the first time Jungkook sees you seemingly shy. 

“I thought you’d like my company more if I didn’t talk much.” 

Now Jungkook’s just perplexed. 

You. ibble on your bottom lip before you say your next words. “I know you don’t exactly like me that much – that you’re just putting up with me because of this project and all that, but I really like you. Uhm. As a friend. I’d like to be your friend but I’m realizing now that I’m probably just annoying you with all of my blabbering and it’s unfair to you that I just keep on imposing myself on you even though you make it very clear that you’re not keen on befriend—” 

“__?” 

“— hm?” 

“Stop that.” Jungkook says because he can’t bear to hear you say things that aren’t the least bit true at all. “It’s not true.” 

“Which part?” you pout.

Jungkook would like to wipe that off your face with something. Like his lips. And that thought sends him into overdrive. He needs to get a grip of himself, seriously. 

“Everything.” 

What he doesn’t expect is for you to just frown. 

“You’re a liar.” 

“What?” 

You burst. “Well, for one– you always avoid me! You don’t even greet me in the hallways. And even in the same class you don’t smile at me or anything and the only time you ever acknowledge me is when we do this stupid project and okay I get it, you only like bubbly girls when they’re Han Hyorin, but why not me?”

Jungkook, puzzled, asks, “How’d Hyorin get into this?” 

Your shoulders deflate. “I don’t know.” 

“Can you—” Jungkook inhales a sharp breath. He closes his eyes before opening them back again. “Can you listen to me?” 

You plop back down on the chair with an indignant huff. Jungkook lets out a low chuckles but you only glare at him. 

So goddarn cute, he thinks to himself. 

“You’re just… you’re just too much okay?” He sees the way your face falls and he nearly punches himself for how he worded it. “Wait no– that’s not right. I meant, you’re just – you make me feel a lot of things, __.” 

“Things?” 

“Yeah. You confuse me.” 

“Why?” You look so confused it melts Jungkook. 

“I don’t know how to explain it either. Just that… you need to know I don’t not like you. I like your little blabbering. I look forward to your breakfast stories. I like your nails. I like your skirt. And I like your new apple pencil case.” 

Jungkook watches as your face turns soft. And suddenly, you have that million dollar grin again on your face. 

“Really?” 

“Hm.” 

You squeal and the next thing he knows you’re onto him, arms wrapped around his neck, locking him into a hug. 

“We’re friends now?” 

Jungkook takes the opportunity to encircle your waist around his arms, noting the size difference. And how easy it was for him to snuggle his nose subtly into your hair to smell your sweet shampoo and perfume in that position. 

You always smell so good. 

“Friends.” 

Jungkook doesn’t really think he can take both of you as just being friends, though.

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

How would you describe Chang's relationship with his adoptive parents in your wonderful au?

Chang is adopted pretty quickly, so it's likely they didn't get much time to get to know each other as well as most adopted families nowadays. My thoughts on Chang and his adopted family are below!

Chang's heroism in The Blue Lotus was impressive, which leads to lofty expectations Chang himself feels incapable of meeting. He struggles to adapt to life in Shanghai, the Wangs' upper middle class culture and has problems at school, having missed out on a few years of education and a lot of unresolved trauma.

He's frustrated at his own inability to fit in, and guilty about flubbing this opportunity at life they gave him. Part of him feels like he's tearing their family apart. The Wangs are desperately trying to give Chang a good life, but feel completely out of their depth.

He also can't help but compare himself to Didi, his much older adopted brother and their biological son, who is scarily competent and a clear favourite of their mother.

Didi is aware that his father may have expectations for Chang to join the Sons of the Dragon. Having experienced the pressure and danger first-hand he takes it upon himself to foster a sense of agency in Chang so he will be capable of choosing for himself when the time comes. Didi trains Chang in martial arts and is tough on him in general, but encourages Chang to travel when he expresses an interest in it. Chang on the other hand encourages Didi to have fun and let loose!

Mr Wang has high expectations for Chang because he believes in him. He and Mrs Wang genuinely care for him and only want the best possible life for him, but this sometimes comes across as them expecting Chang to be somebody else. They first thought Chang was much like Didi, disciplined and quiet, but Chang's rebellious streak catches them off guard. Mrs Wang is particularly shaken.

It struck me how gentle the Wangs were with Didi while he was under the influence of madness poison, and as they are good friends with a mental health specialist, they would absolutely take Chang's mental health seriously. Whether or not they fully understand each other is another thing. As Chang slips into a deep depression they decide to send him off to London to meet his uncle, hoping a change in scenery will help him. On his way through Tibet however, his plane crashes into the mountains...

[a-writer-on-elm-street]

Hii i was wondering if you could do the slashers with an s/o who likes being carried around everywhere (Brahms Bo and any others of your chosing)

slashers with an s/o who likes being carried around everywhere

mentioned: brahms heelshire, bo sinclair, thomas hewitt, stu macher, michael myers, tiny firefly

warnings: mentions of murder

a/n: thank you so much for the request, this was so fun to write!

also, i had to put tiny in here because i just love him so much :((

brahms heelshire

the one thing brahms yearns for in his life is closeness, somebody who will never leave him

so when you express that you like to be carried around he can't really believe his luck

he loves being close to you and this is just another opportunity for just that

he'll probably carry you one of two ways; he'll either carry you in his arms bridal style, or he'll carry you chest to chest (i don't really know how to actually describe it)

he hates being alone so he loves being able to have you with him most of the time

he won't carry you around all the time though because he still has his own things to do

bo sinclair

he hates it...or at least, he claims he does

bo usually spends his days alone, either working in the gas station or playing his part to lure unsuspecting victims into the town

he never really has much going on, and if he's being honest, it gets lonely

his brother vincent rarely comes out from his workshop and lester rarely has much to do with the town itself so he's left to his own devices most days, with nothing but his own mind to slowly drive him crazy

the second he discovers you like being carried everywhere, he takes a lot of enjoyment in doing exactly that

he doesn't really carry you properly, he kind of just drags you

it's somewhat like a half-assed piggy back

and although he'll spend the majority of the time grunting and groaning about it, cussing you out under his breath, he actually really loves finally having somebody so close to him

it certainly makes his days less lonely

whilst he's very uncaring though about how he carries you, if you're ill or you're injured, he'll make sure to be real careful with you

day to day though he really couldn't give a shit about being careful but he'll never admit to how much he loves carrying you

thomas hewitt

thomas doesn't like being away from you much, so being able to carry you around is just a bonus for him

he takes every opportunity to pick you up and carry you places, even if you haven't asked

sometimes he'll pick you up bridal style and sometimes he'll simply sling you over his shoulder because it's easier

his family get on at him for doing it so much because you need to pull your weight and such and he's just letting you laze around but he doesn't listen to them

he continues to carry you around because he really just loves having you with him all the time

he hopes you never stop enjoying being carried everywhere because he loves it

stu macher

he loves carrying you around

he's always offering to give you piggy backs

sometimes he'll take you by surprise and throw you over his shoulder and carry you like that

either way, he finds it fun to carry you around everywhere

he has requested a piggy back or two in the past though, which ultimately ended with you almost collapsing beneath him

michael myers

he doesn't really care either way, but there's no way he'll put any effort into carrying you. you either hang off the back of his shoulders or nothing

michael's pretty strong so having you on his back wouldn't really affect his day to day activities

stalking his sister? no problem. you're not even there

murdering someone who happened to get in his way? he barely even notices you

simply walking down the street, having you on his back makes no difference as he simply couldn't care less

he does secretly enjoy having you with him though as he gets lonely sometimes

you're like a little companion he can just take with him wherever he goes

tiny firefly

tiny likes to be helpful so he definitely doesn't mind carrying you around

he's used to anyone outside of his family shying away from him because of his appearance, so when he learns that you want him to carry you around places, he practically jumps at the chance

he loves that you're not afraid of him like most people and is honestly happy to help you out in this way

he enjoys having the company and he also enjoys being able to be close to you, so this is really a win win situation for you both

[Main Masterlist]

[bbz27]

Jason's possessiveness

warnings: jason-typical violence, slightly controlling behaviour

Fundamentally believe that Jason Todd has an itty bitty jealousy problem.

I mean, the Joker made him think that Batman, one of the only people who believed in him, left him to die. Then he goes through hell just to come out on the other side and be met with his replacement filling his spot. He was Robin, that was something that belonged only to him, and now he cant even claim to have that.

So, when he meets you, somebody who has witnessed his ugliness and stuck by him anyways? He sees it as an opportunity to finally have something of his own. Something concrete. Something special.

Having said that, don't mind him if the grip he has on your waist becomes a little too tight, or you find yourself being convinced to stay in with him instead "just this once". He won't make the same mistakes twice.

[kumkaniudaku]

Had Me At Hello

Summary: Terry and Patrice meet for the first time.

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Black!OC

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: None

Francis Edwards High School was a pristine, two-story jungle filled with Cumberland County's most gifted teenagers. From the first bell at 7 AM until the final ding at 2:30 PM, impenetrable cliques and established hierarchies ruled the hallways, classrooms, and bustling cafeteria, turning the already daunting task of making friends into a nearly impossible uphill battle.

A new school year was nothing more than a formality for returning students. Friend groups were locked in. Moving up and down the sacred social ladder was a tall task many dared not undertake. Seniors looking to make a name for themselves before walking across the stage concocted grand plans to achieve legendary status. Incoming freshmen were given the golden opportunity to shed their image from middle school and step into brand new skin if they were lucky. 

By mid-October of his freshman year, Terrence Richmond felt like he'd cracked high school's code. A massive growth spurt throughout eighth grade shot him up from a slight 5'7" to a respectable 5'11", aiding his first-string wide receiver campaign. Sure, he was brand new to the team and coming behind an all-state senior plus two juniors making waves in their own right, but stranger things had happened. One twisted ankle or subpar progress report, and he'd be well on the way to becoming the big man on campus.

While student-athletes gathered to work through math problems and critical thinking questions in factions during study hall, Terrence used his binder to deflect jagged paper balls aimed at his forehead from his teammate and lifting buddy, Robert.

"Bro, chill," Terrence laughed before chucking the piece of trash back in Robert's direction. "I'm trying to do my homework. You should be, too, by the way!"

Robert turned his nose up and scoffed. "Why? Get somebody to do it for you." He gestured toward a library full of students, then looked back at Terrence. "Pick somebody. Shit, ask one of your teachers. You on the football team. Your job is to play football." 

"Yeah, okay," Terrence scoffed. "Try tellin' my mama that. If she found out I had people doin' my work, she'd kick my ass. Then tell my daddy, and they would kick my ass together." 

"At least you got a dad. I'm still waiting on mine to get back from the store. It must take a long time to get cigarettes." 

Their goofy, loud laughter eclipsed a spirited conversation between the senior defensive core, earning attention neither of them cared to have. 

While being on the team shielded Terrence from the dog-eat-dog world of high school civilian life, it wasn't enough to escape the internal politics governing a rowdy bunch of teenage boys. 

The pecking order was clear and meant to go unchallenged. Seniors commanded starting roles, leaving everyone else to fight for crumbs until their time came to rise up the ranks. Most underclassmen accepted the natural order of things. Eventually, an opportunity would arise, and they'd run with it. But Terrence didn't have time to wait. Four years wasn't long enough to play safe. He had his sights set on NFL glory. And, while his coaches found his ambition honorable, young men three years his senior considered Terrence a threat to stability. 

Scowling, the starting defensive back directed his ire toward Terrence and Robert. "Fuck is so funny?" 

“Nothin’!” Robert's quick response made Terrence roll his eyes. Robert's deer-caught-in-headlights gaze darted back to his friend, softening his brown eyes into apologetic saucers. He mumbled a timid, "Sorry." as an apology.

For Terrence, backing down wasn't an option. Even if it was, he couldn't imagine a universe in which his father's stern lesson about standing up for yourself wouldn't haunt him for all eternity. 

He shrugged as cooly as he could as he leaned back in his chair. "Homework, Drew. You wanna talk about your's too, since you still in ninth- grade algebra with us? Let us help you, bro. We a team." 

Raucous laughter at his expense made Drew shrink back in embarrassment. His intelligence, or lack thereof, wasn't a secret, but it also wasn't a line anyone dared cross. Unfortunately for him, Terrence had no reverence for tired rules.  

Anger turned Drew's ears and nose red as he considered turning a light spat into a physical altercation. Terrence sat up straight to answer his adversary's unspoken challenge, narrowing his lids into slits and tightening his jaw repeatedly. His fists sat balled in his lap, clenching and unclenching in preparation. If things took a turn for the worst, his readiness was paramount. What he lacked in size, he could make up in speed. Either that or he'd have to deal with his father when all was said and done. He chose to take his chances. 

Sensing a fight on the other side of harmless jokes, one of the senior linemen with a soft spot for Terrence's fearlessness stepped in. 

"Alright, D, he busted yo ass. Let it go, man." Demarcus laughed before gripping his friend's shoulder to push him back into his seat. "Aye, Terry, you gotta chill. You a freshman. Be cool sometimes." 

"It's Terrence. Not Terry." 

Demarcus waved off Terrence's correction. "It's Terry, nigga. We already got a Terrence," he mentioned, pointing to a junior safety at the far end of the table. "Now, if y'all wanna fight about it, we can set something up after practice." Terrence eyed his older namesake, sizing him up before making a business decision. His father also taught him to pick his battles wisely. Demarcus took Terry's silence as an answer and continued. "Exactly. Now, move yo skinny ass out the way so we can see ol' girl behind you."

Catcalls and lewd whistling rippled around three tables pushed together to make one as young men coursing with raging hormones leaned over to get a glimpse of the new girl. 

Long-legged and umber-skinned, she stood out in a room full of semi-familiar faces. Everyone at Francis attended school together at some point. Schoolyard bonds followed most students from pre-k to graduation, turning each schoolyear into a reunion of sorts. She, however, was different, fresh, and mysterious. 

Dark brown pressed hair pulled into a low ponytail showed off high cheekbones and piercing eyes. Plump lips drooping into a slight frown told anyone wondering she wasn't interested in too many long conversations. A thin frame sporting naturally lean muscle might trick a less perceptive person into believing she was an athlete. The handwritten 'Francis Edwards Book Club' sign hanging crooked behind her head told a different story. She was a serious scholar with little time for public school games. 

"Damn! She gotta be from outta town." One player commented after blowing the girl a kiss and receiving an annoyed eye roll in return.

Another boy added his two cents to the mix. "I heard she transferred from some private school. Catholic girl or something like that." 

"You know how the Catholic school girls get down. Straight nasty."

Crass comments, growing increasingly inappropriate, turned into nothing more than background chatter while Terry stared at the only person worth existing as far as he was concerned. 

Patrice Ellis. He'd seen the back of her head in one of his classes, not knowing the beauty hidden on the other side. She always smelled like the cocoa butter his mom used to keep his baby sisters moisturized. In class, she was quiet and observant. He liked hearing her answer questions and sometimes jotted her responses as notes in case they were hit with a pop quiz or he needed a reminder during his study time. 

Seeing Patrice quietly adjust stacks of paper while waiting for anyone to interact with her table nearly stole all of the air from Terry's lungs. He couldn't look away. He didn't want to look away. She had his undivided attention.

Until a grating voice spouting crude nonsense forced him to rejoin the conversation. 

"Bet $15 I can't take her down before Christmas break." 

Demarcus extended his arm toward Drew for a handshake agreement, a disbelieving look settling on his face. "I'll bet you $20 you won't go over there and talk to her right now." 

"Who won't? Man, stop playing with me!" 

"Do it then!" 

Terry's eyes darted between the two seniors, syncing to his rising heartbeat. Everything in him wanted to stay out of their antics. He begged his legs to stop bouncing, trying to negotiate with his brain to let go of the stupid idea it'd concocted. Mind your business. Make a good impression. Don't step on any toes. Sit down, Terry.

A hush fell over the group while they watched everyone's favorite mouthy frosh jam books and papers into his backpack before taking long strides toward the neatly decorated folding table by the library's entrance. 

Patrice noticed his lanky body standing out in the crowd like a car wash inflatable with adorable curls forming a dense afro. His eyes, beautiful round orbs of sea green and honey, bore into hers like he owed her a tongue-lashing for something she couldn't remember. They sat near each other in third-period algebra. Maybe her constant pencil tapping was more of a distraction than she thought. 

Then he smiled. Full lips beneath a wispy mustache smoothly slid into a bright, teeth-baring grin to show off all his pearly whites. His nose scrunched, and his eyes crinkled on the side, betraying the intensity he'd displayed only seconds prior. 

Breathtaking. Patrice rushed to busy her mind and hands, hoping his attention-stealing grin was meant for someone she couldn't see and that he'd stroll right past her into the hallway. 

A shadow the size of a beanstalk appeared over her navy blue tablecloth and spoke to her in a soft, small voice. "Are y'all still accepting sign-ups?" 

Most of what he said was lost in the chaos of students transitioning out of the room for their respective sports obligations, forcing Patrice to finally look up. Terry stood before her, still smiling, his eyes expectant and curious as he looked down at her. 

"I'm sorry, you have to speak up. I didn't…I didn't hear what you said."

"Oh. I-" Terry stopped short to clear his throat. "I just asked if y'all were still accepting sign-ups. Because I'd like to, um, join…if I can. Are you in the club?"

"Wouldn't be sitting here if I wasn't." 

Terry nervously adjusted his heavy bookbag on his arm. "Right. My bad." He pointed at the sign-up sheet. "Can I?"

Patrice cocked her head to one side. "You sure? I figure you'd wanna join math club since you're so good at it. Or literally anything else. Didn't think you were the reading type." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Terry watched Patrice pluck a pen from her advisor's mug and slide it across the table to him. When she didn't answer, he pressed again. "Why'd you say that?" 

"Say what?" 

He bent over to scribble his last name into the appropriate box. "That you didn't think I'd be the reading type. Why?" 

"Because you hang around a bunch of idiots," Patrice sassed as she nodded behind him to a table of boys jeering in the background. 

Terry tried to contain his smile at how adult she was despite not looking much older than his fourteen years, instead fighting to keep his brow furrowed in feigned confusion. "What does that have to do with me, though? You think I'm an idiot?" 

"Birds of a feather flock together. I've heard some things." 

Stories of hazel eyes and broad shoulders kept young girls from 9th to 12th-grade giggling amongst themselves whenever news got around that Terry was in the vicinity. He took the ogling in stride with the guys, sending diplomatic waves to googly-eyed young women like the second coming of President Obama. But, privately, the new attention overwhelmed him. He wasn't sure how to exist in his body or navigate the sudden drop in his voice. 

Patrice only knew unconfirmed rumor mill pieces of information. Terry was dating multiple girls in the ninth grade. Terry had a girlfriend at a school across town. Terry was an asshole. Terry this, Terry that. She couldn't keep up and preferred to steer clear of this Terry character. Still, there he was, standing in front of her and expecting an explanation for an offhanded comment she desperately wanted to move past. 

"You shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Nobody ever told you that?" Terry's eyes flickered up to Patrice's to find her making a face as she rolled her eyes. 

She kissed her teeth. "Yeah, they did, and it's stupid. How else will I decide to pick a book if I don't judge its cover first?"

"Okay, well, what if I judged you?" He paused to make space for Patrice's rebuttal, but one never came. He continued. "In class, you don't talk and scrunch your face up at everybody. You bring your lunch to school instead of goin' through the line like the rest of us and rush down the hallway like you're late for something every day. What if I said you thought you were better than us because you came from private school?" 

"You'd be wrong. I just… haven't been able to fit in yet," Patrice countered. "And who told you I came from a private school?"

Terry chuckled. "I'm judging you by your cover. And the St. Pius pin you keep on your backpack." He pointed toward the white and gold crest pinned to the left strap of her orange Jansport, then gave her a sympathetic smile. "You miss your friends. I get it. I would, too. But, if you wanna make some new ones that aren't teachers, you can't be so mean all the time." 

"You don't know me," she countered in defiance. 

"I want to." 

Terry didn't know what made him make such a bold declaration. He wasn't usually so forward or willing to converse with strangers. This stranger, in all her beauty and endearing sass, was different. She'd drawn him in with little more than a slight scowl, which he knew was only a defense mechanism to ward off unserious would-be suitors. He wasn't them, though. He never said anything he didn't mean. 

Capping the pen, Terry smiled, handed Patrice her utensil, and slid the paper back to her. "I'm Terrence, by the way. Or Terry. Either works." 

"Which one do you prefer?" 

"Um, Terrence…I think." 

She smiled, finally showing her teeth, before giggling. "You think? Which name do you like more?" 

"Terrence," he answered as he returned her smile. "Call me Terrence." 

"Okay, Terrence." Terrence. Patrice wanted to repeat his name again and again to feel the easy cadence roll of her tongue. Instead, she extended her hand for him to grab and shake. Terry gently took hold of her fingers, forgetting to finish the process until Patrice initiated it for him. "Welcome to the club. I'm –" 

He cut her off, still holding on long after they'd completed the simple formality. "Patrice. I know. Nice to meet you." Slowly, he released her hand, immediately creating a void she wished he'd fill again. A short laugh escaped past Terry's lips before he adjusted his backpack again and prepared to walk away. "Guess I'll see you during free block next Wednesday? Maybe you can get to know me for yourself instead of making all those assumptions." 

"Yeah. Maybe." 

A final once-over helped Terry and Patrice commit each other's faces to memory before Terry backed his way out of the library and temporarily out of her life. 

As easily as her new connection's effortless cool calmed heightened anxiety, his associated band of buffoons infiltrated her serene bubble with their unique brand of foolish behavior. They filed out of the library one by one, some making faces and a few more spouting garbage in passing. Idiots, just as she thought.

When they were out of dodge, and the library was back to the quiet, safe haven she loved, Patrice looked back down at the sheet of paper with one name neatly written in slender, slanted print. Her index finger traced each letter as she tried to relive the smile and soft voice attached to the name she'd never forget. 

Terrence Richmond. A beautiful cover to a book she hoped to read from front to back one day.

--------

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[ryukzakiii]

distraction ⭑ l. lawliet (pt.2!)

part one here !

summary: now that the first move had been made, you start to realize just how badly L needs to be the best at anything he does, and how much he’s used to getting just what he wants.

pairing: l. lawliet x fem!reader

warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI), oral (f. receiving), voyeurism kinda, unprotected sex (wrap it up), praise ig, not really dom!L but he’s spoiled and gets what he wants, idk guys it’s nasty, fluff at the end :)

authors note: i got so carried away i cant edit it anymore just have at it and enjoy ya freaks!!

smut under the cut !!

after you and L first slept together that night in headquarters, his interest in you had grown exponentially. mainly because he couldn’t fully understand how somebody as beautiful and brilliant as you would ever be interested in somebody like him, but also because he had become fixated on learning everything there was to know about pleasing a woman. pleasing you.

every time the rest of the task force would leave for the night, he would take the opportunity to have you to himself almost immediately. as the nights went on, he grew more and more confident in what he was doing, being able to get you down on your knees in front of him just by speaking to you for a moment. his monotonous (yet somehow cocky) tone of voice alone drove you crazy.

as weeks became months, any little bit of hesitation he once had was smothered and he was just as sure of himself regarding you as he was regarding everything else; borderline too much.

that meant he began to want his needs to be met at any time he wished. like how he had sweets or drinks whenever he wanted, and anything he asked for he would always have post-haste, and it wasn’t like L to change his ways.

he would wait for everyone to leave the room, even just for ten minutes, and you’d be sitting in his lap barely able to catch your breath due to the fervour with which he kissed you.

he would ask watari to page you to his room if it was a night you hadn’t already been with him that day, either at school or out with friends, and you wouldn’t be there 5 minutes before he had you bent over a table (or the couch, or his work desk, or once over the windowsill the night you’d mentioned wanting to see the full moon).

in not so many words, his libido had gone into overdrive and he quite enjoyed getting whatever he wanted.

the only problem was that once you two were finished and he had a small break from the incessant urge to bury himself into you as deep as he could go, he still wanted to be just as close to you and horribly wanted you to feel the same way. unfortunately, this was the one situation where he couldn’t find the words to express his feelings.

so, since he had made it his goal to be the very best at making you feel good, he decided to get his point across to you the best way he now knew how.

“y/n, would you please come over here for a moment?”

almost everyone was currently heading out the door, off on their various ways for the evening aside from L, you, light, and misa. light had been discussing his thoughts about something with you while the others were busy and misa was awaiting a chance to convince light to hang out with her.

you excused yourself from your conversation with light and made your way to the opposite end of the room where L was sat in his usual spot in front of the television.

“what can i do for you?”

“actually i’d like to talk to you about something i want to do for you.” he said it as though light and misa weren’t 20 feet away, “well, to you, more accurately. i want to try something new, i wasn’t so sure i could do it but i believe i have a well enough understanding of what makes you tick to be successful.”

despite how casually and technical he spoke, every word was making that familiar damp feeling between your legs reappear. he was looking at you like he wanted to take a bite and it took everything in you not to fall to your knees right then and there, “uh, what exactly did you have in mind?”

“i’d really like to try my hand at performing cunnilingus. in fact,” he turned his head to look towards the others in the room, “let’s do it now. no time like the present eh?”

“L, whatever you’re thinking about is a bad idea. light and misa are right over there.”

“nevermind them, they won’t be able to see past the back of the couch, come and sit here.”

you nodded and he slid over and motioned for you to sit where he had just been, handing you his cell phone in the process, “if you get too nervous about them, speed dial light on this and it will send a message to his phone to meet down in headquarters. sound good?”

the second he saw you nod again, he crouched down to the floor in front of you and began working away at the clasp of your pants. he shimmied them down your legs and onto the floor, gently so as not to make a sound, your underwear going next leaving you fully exposed to him.

he was in awe. sure, he was now incredibly familiar with your body, but he’d never gotten as close as he now found himself. your pussy was just inches from his face, wet and waiting, all for him. his hands gripped the insides of your thighs, pushing them apart so he could get a better look at you in all your glory.

“would you look at this, you’ve gotten wet before i’ve even touched you.” he spread you further open with his thumbs, fingers still curled into your thighs and hot breath fanning over you, “i suppose it would only be right of me to clean up the mess i’ve caused, don’t you think?”

“yes, please.” your voice came out as barely a whisper, “but they’re going to hear you.”

“shh, just press the button and they’ll go away.” he pressed a kiss right above your clit and you had to bite your tongue to stop from crying out. even just keeping your head still was almost impossible.

you gripped the phone tightly in your hand as he kissed your clit this time, sucking it into his mouth gently.

he wasn’t trying to get you caught. that would undoubtedly be bad for the both of you, for both your jobs and your reputations. so why did he find himself itching to make you cry out? to make light and misa painfully aware of the fact that in the same suite they sat in talking innocently, L was making you feel the best that anyone could, so good you lost all sense of control and let them find out.

he knew you would never be able to show your face again had this happened though, so he reached a hand above him and clasped it over your mouth, “be quiet, i’m trying to concentrate.”

you squirmed under his touch and his tongue began to venture further, further inside his favourite place to be. he licked a stripe all the way back to your clit and your thighs instinctively squeezed shut around his head.

his hand muffled the whine that escaped you and you were sure someone would hear you. you clicked the button to dial light and finally tossed away the phone, gripping onto the couch cushions with both hands to keep yourself grounded.

you could hear his phone chime, followed by the sound of chairs pushing out and the door slamming. L paused his movements and was at last able to come up for air, mouth and chin now glistening in the faint light from the tv.

“finally i have you all to myself,” he readjusted so his arms curled under your legs, allowing him a better hold to keep them open wide.

he dove right back in, pointy nose prodding at your clit with every movement of his mouth making your body jolt. your hands worked their way into his already messy hair, holding onto it tightly as you began rocking your hips into his mouth, wet and warm and making you feel amazing.

“yes, yes just like that,” you panted out, “god that’s perfect L, please, don’t stop.”

he groaned into your pussy hearing you talk to him like that, sending a shockwave up through you. you were close, he could tell, he just had to get you there. he needed to get you there, to show you how good he could be for you.

you held him impossibly tighter to you as the knot in your stomach began to build, dragging yourself along his tongue hurriedly enough to make you wonder if he was able to keep up. your moans turned into high pitched whines as you approached your release, not a care in the world anymore about who might be around to hear you.

with both the pretty sounds you were making and the simple act of you using his mouth however you pleased, riding his tongue now to practically get yourself off, L felt so accomplished. knowing he could make you feel just as desperate for him as he felt for you was enough that he could die happy.

“oh fuck, fuck i’m gonna cum,” he was doing it. your whole body began to spasm and your back arched straight off the couch. he held you as still as he could and your legs once again closed around his head, this time squeezing for dear life as his tongue continued to work circles around your clit. all that was coming out of your mouth was babbles of his name and profanities.

as the pleasure soon turned into overstimulation, he continued without faltering his pace. he was determined. he was sure you’d probably had a good experience to compare this to, hell maybe even a great one, so he had to be sure he was the best.

“L, please, ‘s too much,” you whined, “it’s my turn.”

he pulled away entirely, coming closer to head level and giving your overworked pussy the break it was craving, “i’m sorry, i don’t recall saying anything about you getting a turn.”

“but what about you? just a taste, just quick.”

he cut you off by pressing his thumb down on your clit, the other hand moving up to cover your mouth again with a bit more force than the first time.

“i don’t know when you got it in your head that you run the show around here, but i suggest you get used to listening to me. keep being difficult and i’ll have no choice but to stop entirely.” he was bluffing, of course, but his stone cold expression didn’t give him away. his eyes trailed down to where his thumb was pressed, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a smile, “i really don’t want to have to do that. you just taste so, so sweet. think you can be good and behave for me?”

you nodded vigorously, pussy squeezing around nothing and begging him for attention again, the cocky, almost condescending tone in his voice making you shiver.

“excellent. now turn around for me please, hands on the back of the couch.”

you did as he asked the second he let go of you, hands holding firmly to the back of the couch and ass presented to him. you could hear his belt undoing, followed by a zipper and you braced yourself for him, but nothing.

L was a bit busy. stroking himself with one hand he stood to take in the sight before him. he had a bad habit of doing this, staring at you when he was supposed to be doing something, but he couldn’t help it. his eyes were glued to where you needed him to be, trying to carve the sight of it into his memory. his free hand held your waist as he finally lined himself up, coaxing another whine out of you as he bottomed out.

his thrusts started shallow and slow, your gentle moans fading into the background as he focused on how warm you felt.

you turned your head back to look at him, the sight of him looming over you with his jaw hung slack making you squeeze around him, “harder L, please.”

he switched to both hands and tightened his grip on your waist, “what did i say about behaving?” nonetheless, he was pushing into you much rougher now than before, yet still agonizingly slow.

“‘m sorry, it just feels so good.”

he began to pick up his pace, breathing becoming heavier the more into it he got, soon letting out little pants and groans of his own. generally, he was rather quiet during sex, only really vocalizing near the end when he couldn’t hold it in anymore, so the fact that he was talking to you and teasing you was a very pleasant surprise.

“yeah? does that feel good?” hearing you say just how good he was doing spurred him on even further, “do me a favour, id like to see the rest of you, please.”

you pulled the shirt you were wearing over your head as best as you could, L placing a hand on your sternum to hold you up. instead of letting you back down however, his hand trailed up to your chest, taking hold of one of your breasts as your back came flat against his chest. his chin rested on your shoulder and you could feel his sharp breaths hitting your ear, his racing heartbeat on your back matching your own.

the knot in your stomach returned, your pussy fluttering around him making him feel like he was on top of the world, “you— you’re so beautiful, god i could do this all day. look at you, so responsive to me, and such a good listener.”

all you could do was pant, his pace now unforgiving and making you feel like he was tearing you apart in the best way possible. he kissed behind your ear and let go of your chest in favour of rubbing gentle circles on your clit.

your whole body felt like it was white hot, “shit! yes, oh please L. i need it, i need you, please make me cum.”

he’d never heard you sound so frantic before and it was driving him up the wall, “y/n, you feel so incredible.” the more he spoke the quicker your release came rushing through you like a stampede, “i love feeling you around me like this, fuck, you’re just perfect.”

you gripped onto his arms and craned your neck to try and look at him, crying out pleas of his name and senselessly confessing to him how beautiful he was and how good he always made you feel. he held you impossibly tighter, his work on your clit long forgotten now as his only goal was to keep you as close as physically possible.

his hair hung low over his eyes, messy and sticking to his face from sweat. you were getting overstimulated once again but you’d lost all the sense in you to care, another orgasm bubbling up already because of it. L felt it, as if the look on your red face wouldn’t have given it away regardless, and his jaw fell open as his own release came creeping up on him.

his hips finally began to falter, a few loud, deep groans ripping out of him. his eyebrows knitted together and he shut his eyes, steady whimpers and groans falling out of him now as the two of you reached your peak together.

you felt him twitch inside of you, one of his arms reaching to hold the couch as his muscles began to give out on him. he placed sloppy, sweet kisses on your jaw before flopping down onto his back on the couch with an outstretched arm waiting for you.

he was back to normal, back to being his quiet self. you laid your head on his chest and he yanked the blanket from the back of the couch to cover the two of you, fingers gently tapping and tracing lines onto your bare back. this was your favourite part of it all, just laying with him and basking in what you’d just done.

for L, despite how much he craved the feeling of this, this was the part that would still make him question himself. when thoughts of self-doubt had an opening to creep up on him. the muscles in his hands twitched and the hold he had on you subconsciously tightened, dreading the moment you decide to get up and go to your room to take care of yourself.

every time you would bid him adieu, he could feel exactly where you had been laying become cold, physically reminding him of your absence. he couldn’t stand it. every night he tried to work up the courage to tell you to come back, to wait for him in his room instead, to ask you if he could come to bed with you, but every night the words would get caught in his throat and he’d choke.

you didn’t show any signs of getting up though, if anything you were letting yourself get comfier. he revelled in it, the whole room smelled a little like sweat but he found it almost sweet. maybe that would become his new favourite smell. he hoped you were as blissful as he was.

you trailed a hand up under the front of his shirt, letting your hand rest over his heart and feeling it quicken with every little movement you made.

“i really don’t want to get up.” you finally spoke, “i wish we could just stay like this.”

he winced, “don’t get up. you don’t have to.”

you tilted your head up to look at him, his face finally visible with his hair going every which way and his eyelids hanging half-closed. this was the most relaxed he ever looked, probably because he was far less concentrated than he usually had to be.

“we can’t just sleep here on the couch, L.”

we. we can’t sleep here on the couch, “we could. technically we can do whatever we want.”

he smiled at you, a coy little smile, and you knew you were so screwed.

“how about you go and wait for me in my room then?” he wasn’t looking at you anymore, too nervous for your response, “i just have to put all these files where they need to go, and maybe clean up a little.”

“really?”

“if that’s something you want to do, if not don’t feel like you’re obligated to say yes.”

“no i want to! i mean, as long as you’re sure you want me in your room.”

“of course i do.”

he sent you upstairs with his key card once the both of you were dressed again and you nervously waited for the elevator to stop on his floor. skipping the whole way to his bedroom, and once inside you tucked yourself away in the bathroom to clean yourself up.

when L entered the room, you were nowhere to be seen. he heard the sound of the running tap in the bathroom and decided to wait for you in the bed. he laid right in the middle, how he was used to sleeping, and watched you with a smile plastered on his face as you walked out of the bathroom and over towards him.

you climbed under the blanket with him and tucked under his arm, head laying on his chest and an arm stretched across his torso.

“your bed’s comfy.”

“it’s a lot more comfortable now that you’re in it.” he placed a hand on your head, “before you fall asleep, i want to tell you id like if you slept here more often. whenever you want, in fact.”

“i will be taking you up on that.” your eyes were closed, sleep beginning to whisk you away, “you’re about to see so much of me you’ll get sick of it.”

as he felt you shift into unconscious, breathing slowed against his chest and your body pressed against his, he was sure he was the luckiest man in world at that moment, “i’d never get sick of you.”

[theabigailthorn]

Do you think you’ll ever write a book, either philosophy related or maybe memoirs? I really love your content and your ideas and would love to know more about how you organize your worldview.

FUNNILY ENOUGH

I've been seriously considering writing a book about the way the NHS treats trans people, and more broadly about institutional pathologisation in the current global moment we're having. I've had meetings with some big publishers, even drafted an introduction and proposal, and gotten offers back!

BUT

I don't think I'm going to do it, for a few reasons. In no particular order:

Writing a book about that subject might raise the consciousness of a few folks, but does it help build material power for trans people against my country's healthcare system, and the other systems that subjectify trans people globally? Not really, no. In fact it would legitimise the elite media consensus that engaging with elite media is the path to achieving change. Books aren't just books, they're "media events," and accordingly they increase the power and prestige of the media they happen in. If I wrote this book, newspapers would review it, chart it, I'd be invited onto Radio 4 and shit to "debate" and "discuss" it... Does doing that actually help get medicine into trans people's hands? Not really! Writing books and "getting ideas out there" is pretty busted as a theory of change unless it builds power. The fantasy of writing a really good speech or article or book and suddenly the scales fall from cis people's eyes is just that - a fantasy. No minority group has ever gotten change or justice that way. All that would happen is I'd "enhance my brand" - which means that I, with my private education and privilege and opportunities, would make money and get clout whilst contributing to the elite capture of trans rights as a political struggle. I'd become "a leader in the community" and get invited to some dinners and media events and blah blah blah - meanwhile the violence continues. That media event would also enhance the brands of those cis-dominated media outlets and the "having conversations" industrial complex, who are part of the fucking problem! The struggle should be led by the poorest and most vulnerable among us and link up with other material struggles like resisting immigration raids, prison abolition, decriminalisation of drugs and sex work, etc. So I could likely do more good for my community by donating my time and money to good causes and also by some uhhhh... other stuff - let's call it 'direct assistance' - which I already do and find fulfilling.

The offers aren't that big! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Writing that book might do harm if it's co-opted into ongoing right wing attempts to dismantle the NHS and all trans care. It'd be intellectually satisfying but not creatively satisfying or fun. I'd have to immerse myself in a very bleak world for a long time: I would enjoy having done it but not the doing.

It'd ruin my career. Right now I actually fly pretty under the radar of a lot of my country's nastiest transphobes. That would end if I wrote a book about the NHS. Newspapers, editors, publishers, journalists, and probably some MPs and Lords would become very invested in tearing me down. I've seen it happen to queer writers and journalists before. Remember, Britain is a small country and our media is run out of one city by a very small group of people who all know each other and who also know all our politicians, in some cases because they're literally the same people! That book would be like kicking a hornets' nest. Maybe they'd come after me publicly, or maybe it would be more British: somebody would make a quiet phone call and I'd suddenly be radioactive. Bye-bye acting career, bye-bye any public career.

For related reasons, writing that book and doing the necessary media campaign would expose me to a WORLD of harassment and shit from some of the worst people in the universe, which I frankly don't want. That might include lawsuits.

My dream job is to play [REDACTED] in [REDACTED]. Writing a book wouldn't take me closer to that. It would cement my brand as 'trans educational writer' instead of 'actress and writer,' which is what I am.

So yeah, all in all, I don't think I'm going to do it. Not right now anyway. I reserve the right to change my mind. Think I'll write a screenplay instead!

[tangerinelovez]

How do you think OT7 Dream would comfort you after a bad day?

Mark: When Mark comes home from a day of work and sees you on the couch sad and quiet, not at all like your normal self, his face quirks up in shock. Your eyes are on him as he awkwardly looks around the room, rubbing his arm, looking as if he’s unsure what to do. After a few beats of silence, he meets your eyes and sits down next to you.

“How was your day?” He asks, looking at you with soft brown eyes. He listens intently and offers emotional support for a few minutes before diving into some solutions and advice. You notice his sentences are a little disjointed or rambling, but he definitely got some good points across and brought up new perspectives you hadn't considered.

"No, yeah, like, she was totally... uh... over the line for asking you to stay late to finish that report... like, she totally put you in a weird spot, y'know, given the fact she asked if you'd do it in front of so many people, you know? you don't... you can't deal with that kinda thing." You nod, feeling your frustrations dissipate as he continues to be the picture perfect supportive boyfriend… albeit a bit rambly. His talents definitely lie in making sure you feel heard, and like all of your concerns are so valid. He's an amazing listener who reassuringly holds your hand and gently strokes your thumb with his own as you talk and he offers his best reassuring words. Even if he somehow loses his train of thought along the way, he always brings it back home. He's the sweetest boyfriend you could ever ask for and you love the way he takes your mind off things... when he offers to get you your favorite takeout, you squeak out a "No, it's ok, I'm fine. We have leftovers."

He calls you from the restaurant to ask what exactly it is you like from their menu because he just wants to be 100% sure he gets your order right (and that they don't forget your sauces...) Would totally be the type to bring home way too much food, sheepishly saying, "Hey, you deserve it.... it's been a long day for you... not that you have to have a bad day to like, get good food, but i'm seizing this opportunity to make my girlfriend smile."

Yes, he did scrunch up his free hand that isn't holding copious bags of take-out while saying that sentence... and yes, you do laugh. When he sits back down on the couch next to you, you can't help but smile over how he instantly puts on some cheesy show for you both to watch while you eat your giant meals. "Mark... we're going to be eating these leftovers for days..." You say, but even as you say it, you're a bit shocked to realize nearly all the fries are gone.

Your eyes meet in shock, and you double over in laughter over the fact you both have been so absorbed in the stupid happenings of the reality TV show... you just kept eating.

With full bellies, you'd lay down on the couch and cuddle... laughing over the fact at least your problems aren't as bad as the poor girls on the crappy reality TV show... and you're lucky enough to have an amazing boyfriend who'd do anything to make you feel loved <3

Haechan: When you'd text him to let him know your day isn't going that well, Haechan would be the type to immediately get mad on your behalf as if someone had insulted his honor to the highest degree. Like... if you're having a bad day because of something somebody said to you or did to you, best believe you'd have to pull him back from confronting that person. His chaotic and over-the-top insistence on getting as involved as possible makes you feel really loved... Although he is a bit dramatic, you have to admit it's a nice change from the previous nonchalant busters you had dated who had no real interest in protecting your wellbeing. This man would spam your phone with stupid Instagram reels and bad puns in hopes your mood would improve slightly.

When he's finally with you in person, it would take a natural disaster to get him off of you. He would douse you in kisses and nearly crush your ribcage with a tight hug. He'd totally be the type to dramatically look out the window and declare you're letting those bitches win if you don't make the best of the rest of the day. he'd walk you around the neighborhood for a bit, an arm slung over your shoulder, and would just take in the scenery with you, feeling that your quietness was more out of contentedness than anything else.

Although he can sometimes be a lot, he has a huge heart and will always do his best to read the room and figure out what you need... while still encouraging you to sometimes do things that make you a bit uncomfortable... Hey, he was right about how good a walk outside can be for mental health and gaining perspective! you should trust him.

he'd claim he had no real route in mind for your neighborhood walk, and yet, you'd somehow conveniently end up at your favorite mom-and-pop restaurant. he'd feign shock, looking between you and the restaurant a few times before saying, "Destiny led us here... come on, the universe is saying your boyfriend needs to buy you a couple pan-fried dumplings. Who are we to say no?"

Once you're sitting down at the restaurant, you'd finally begin spilling more details about what was bothering you, and to his credit, he would listen quite well, only interrupting a few times to express his annoyance with your classmates over not carrying their weight on the project. With a belly of pan-fried dumplings and noodles, you walk back to your apartment with Haechan, grateful to have a boyfriend who lets you vent at your own pace, and doesn't force you to share ... even if it sometimes kills him to wait to hear who is at fault Renjun: Renjun is the type to immediately discern when something is wrong with you, even if you try your very best to hide it. As soon as he'd come home and lay eyes on you, staring straight ahead on the couch in the living room, his gaze would soften and he'd say, "hey sweetheart... you okay?" to which you'd nod before tears would suddenly well up, causing him to drop everything in his hands and rush over to you.

He'd sit next to you on the couch and pull you close to his side, wrapping both arms around you and rocking you gently as you cry. He'd sit there with you quietly for as long as it would take for you to calm down, quietly humming as the two of you sway slightly, his hand softly combing through your hair. Eventually, you'd shakily exhale and lift your head from his shoulder, maneuvering yourself on the couch to face him. He'd shift slightly, as well, ensuring that you could see his full attention is on you. He'd listen intently as the words suddenly come spilling forth. After telling him all about your bad day and what has been bothering you, you can count on Renjun to get right down to solutions. Though he's a super caring boyfriend, the man would believe that the way to truly help you feel better would be to attack the issues head-on rather than just offering you emotional support. However, he always speaks to you very calmly and sweetly, never talking over you. After discussing possible solutions for a while, I think he'd be the type to say, "Well, there's not much else we can do right now, so maybe let's just take your mind off of all that for tonight? And tomorrow, you can talk to your friend about some of your concerns." You love the way he makes big, all-consuming feelings and events feel smaller by breaking it down piece-by-piece and ensuring you never feel like these issues are yours to bear alone.

He'd totally be the type to say something cheesy like "the first duty of love is to listen" He'd be so honored that you shared your troubles with him and trust his advice so much, would instantly shush you if you tried to apologize for crying and ruining your night together.

"Your worries are my worries... I swear sometimes you worry me with how low your bar is for treatment from others... but hopefully it's raising everyday we're together." After all that talking... and crying... and laughing, he'd make some popcorn, crack open your favorite soda, and put on the one movie you've watched every time you've been sad. And he wouldn't even make fun of you when you'd recite all the lines along with the characters dutifully. Jeno: When you come back from school, overwhelmed by the workload of your graduate-level courses, Jeno would listen intently to all your issues, nodding and sighing at the appropriate times, making you start to find amusement in his display of active listening. This man would definitely take all his cues from you and adapt appropriately. If you're angry... then he is boiling mad, too. Madder than you are, actually. If you just don't want to talk about it any more, he would definitely respect that, and start cycling through your favorite topics to try and boost your mood.

No matter what, he would insist on being by your side and doing whatever it is that you want to do, repetitively asking if there's anything else he can do for you. He'd shyly pepper your hairline and temple with kisses, smiling against your head softly when he'd feel you laugh. He'd definitely be all over you, cuddling you on the bed to the best of his ability as he throws out different activities you could do to feel better. "Do you want to paint something?" A slight head shake from you tells him you're not really in the mood for anything crafty... but maybe you could be convinced. "Hmm... would you wanna go out for dinner, baby?" It's silent for a few seconds before you say, "Hmm... maybe...."

The arm he has around your neck is comforting, but as he moves it to scratch his chest absentmindedly, you feel like the comforting embrace is slightly choking.

Thankfully, he stops his scratching and sighs, staring at the ceiling before he tosses out his next suggestion. "Okay... how about... we go to that one grocery store you really love, get all the ingredients for homemade pizza... AND any other snacks you want? and your loyal samoyed will happily buy them all for you?"

suddenly feeling a burst of energy over the prospect of wandering the aisles of your favorite fancy grocery store and being silly and creative in the kitchen with Jeno, before relaxing on the couch together to laugh over some stupid movie, you curl into his side excitedly.

"Yeah, that sounds amazing..." Now you're the one peppering him with kisses, from the mole below his eye to the tip of his nose, feeling so happy that you have such a patient and sweet man who shows you how he cares through actions. "You can just wear my sweatshirt, too. No need to change." Is it possible to be any more in love? I guess you'll find out when the night's over.

Jaemin: Jaemin runs an aggressive campaign in turning your frown upside down. "Baby.... what's wrong...?" Jaemin's deep voice would warble out of the phone as you try to steady yourself in the bathroom at work.

"Ugh, it's... it's nothing. I'm just frustrated. I shouldn't have called, I know you're busy..."

He'd huff, the pfft somehow coming through the speaker with just as much sass as it would in person. "What is it I always say when you start pulling this nonsense?"

You exhale, glad there is no chance anyone can come in the single-occupancy restroom and hear your boyfriend giving you a pep talk over the phone.

"'You're wasting both of our times because I'm not going anywhere until you talk?"'

Jaemin's tinny voice exclaims in frustration over the phone. "Baby, no, the other thing."

You hum in understanding. "'Tough times don't last but you will?'"

He groans again. "Damn, I say way too many things, all so wise and encouraging. No, baby, 'a problem shared is a problem halved.' That's what I always so wisely say to encourage you."

You'd nod, finding amusement in just how many idioms seem to come spewing out of him. After talking to him on the phone for a bit, you'd find the strength to leave the bathroom and finish your day at work. When you finally make it home, Jaemin would hug you at the door, and gently ask how the rest of the day went, offering emotional support and advice as you saw fit. However... his biggest way of making you smile after a hard day would definitely be taking you to a late night movie and stuffing his cargo pants and hoodie with all the snacks you could ever want. He'd even go as far as to throw some cans of soda into a blanket before excitedly tucking it under his arm, urging you to get in the car so you can go snuggle at the theater with all the smuggled snacks you could ever desire. You'd cuddle up to each other, grateful it was a reclining seat theater, and that nobody else seemed to want to see this weeks-old movie at 11:00 pm on a Wednesday other than the two of you. After the movie, he'd take you on a drive around the city, playing your favorite music lowly, his hand on your thigh, allowing you to talk as you saw fit, but mostly just content with the silence, knowing the soft smile on your face was genuine. And when you fall asleep in the car? he'd drive around for a few more minutes, softly singing along to the music and gently stroking your leg as he did so.

And yeah... he'd carry you inside and shush all the cats before they'd even get a chance to meow.

And when you wake up the next day, terrified you're gonna be late for work? He's already awake, cooking breakfast :) best boyfriend in the world award loading... Chenle: Chenle is a straight-forward man. When he realized you were answering his texts after several hours with short replies, he knew action needed to be taken.

He'd call you, and after your sniffly "hullo?" would know all he needs to. Nothing would stop that man from instantly booking it to your location, which just so happened to be the parking lot of your job.

He'd park right next to your car, and tap on the passenger window gently, prompting you to unlock the door for him.

"(Y/N), what's wrong? Was it that one girl from yoga? The stupid ass girl in HR? Tell me," He'd say, taking his hands in yours, causing you to shift in your seat slightly and face him.

"I-I don't even know, Chenle. It's just everything today... one thing after the other." After showing him your cracked phone screen and broken nail, he examines your hand more carefully, turning it over with great scrutiny. 

"Um... what, Chenle?" “This color was ugly anyways…” He mutters before looking up at you. “Get in my car, we have to go.”

You look at him in shock, still a little annoyed and frustrated. “What?”

He huffs, voice unwavering and face firm. “Get. In. The. Car.” 

Suddenly he beams. “I’m taking you to get your nails redone. And in a cuter color…”

You feel a blush coming on over his insistence. “Oh, no, Chenle, it’s fine, really–”

“Stop. It’s already done. And I need you to get moving. While you’re getting your nails done, I have to make it to this appointment… you like silver, right?”

Your eyes widen in shock as you sit down in the passenger seat of Chenle’s car. “Chenle, you’re not getting me a new phone.”

Chenle laughs, shaking his head slightly. “Nobody said anything about getting you a new phone…you materialistic woman…” 

When you get picked up from your nail appointment, (which Chenle Zelle’d you the money for, plus a little extra because of “girlfriend tax”), you not only have a new latest-model silver iPhone but also a new pair of silver hoops.

You just love the way he spoils you while simultaneously keeping you on your toes. Life is never boring with him, and he never hesitates to make you feel special in his own way. 

Would definitely finish the day off by dramatically performing all of your favorite songs he normally finds really cheesy and annoying (he wants to put a smile on your face today, okay? Don’t get used to it) 

Jisung: He knows you sometimes need your space, so he’d want to feel out what the right move is. When he feels like you’re having a bad day, Jisung would first talk to you about all of your favorite topics enthusiastically, hoping it would pique your interest and cheer you up… if that was unsuccessful… he would dive deep into his trove of secrets and tell you about embarrassing things he’s done that he’s forced the other boys to hide from you (which is no easy feat seeing as they love to tell you about dumb things he has done).

“So… you just… ran away?” You say, your chest feeling lighter as you laugh.

“Well… I just felt so awkward… my voice crack echoed around the room so loudly…I knew that Haechan would be talking about it for the rest of the week.”

You laugh some more, thinking of how he must have had that cute embarrassed look on his face when it happened.

“Honestly, probably the rest of my life.” 

A cute blush would appear on his features, making you feel compelled to snuggle even closer to him, the scent of his soft hoodie doing wonders in improving your mood.

You would quietly talk on the couch for a while before Jisung would start showering you in shy compliments, telling you how much he loves your hair and your outfit, before finally asking how you could have possibly had a bad day when you look this good.

Now you’d blush, hiding your face in his hands when he looks at you with his sparkly eyes. 

“Don’t you have rehearsal now?” You’d ask and he’d shrug, looking at the time quickly before looking back at you.

“I can be late. I don’t want to go just yet.”

You’d snuggle in deeper and feel 1000x better knowing he’ll always be there when you’re feeling down.

[taystarotoverload]

WHO is your Future Spouse?

‼️WARNING‼️: some 18+ & looooottttssss of detail 😮‍💨

☆ this is JUST a general reading so take what resonates leave what doesn’t. we’re going to be diving into 9 different topics about details on who your future spouse is, and some extra little goodies at the end😉

☆ how to PICK A PILE: Breathe in deeply for 3 and out for 5. Meditate on each picture continuing this manual breathing. Ask spirit out loud or in your head “who is my future spouse” and meditate on it. You’ll hear a number or see a number pop into your head, or maybe you’ll feel drawn to a certain pile. whatever works for you go for it! if you’re new to pick a piles this may be difficult at first, but as you read and watch them more and more the process becomes much easier! 😊

☆ DECKS USED:

Tarot:

A.E. Waite Tarot (pile 1) Cat Tarot (pile 2) Wild Unknown (pile 3)

Oracle:

Fairy Wisdom Oracle, Wild Mystic, Romance Angels

☆ lastly thank you thank you to my guides and your guides for offering me and providing me the energy, knowledge, and guidance to do this reading. 🤍

PILE 1

your energy check in:

these are clarifying cards for you and your currently energy, this helps me connect to you further and also makes sure this reading is right for you! <3

the fool - the world - ace of wands - page of swords

so what i’m seeing is you’re 100% a leader. you also love going out, you love the outdoors, you love nature and seeing life for what it’s truly about. i see you’re somebody who doesn’t let the hardships of life run you down and ruin you. i see you’re somebody who is a go getter and isn’t afraid to be adventurous and courageous and step out of their comfort zone. you like being the person you are and you’re not going to let anyone stop you. i’m also seeing that right now you’re in a transition. your life is transforming alot right now, you might be given many job opportunities or travel opportunities and you’re just thinking “wow when did i get so lucky?” lol i’m also seeing that you ?recently? just got out of a really rocky situation or part of your life and this is why your energy is so bright and vibrant. i’m viewing you as the sun pile 1 you seem very extroverted at times. again with the leadership this is what is leading you towards these amazing opportunities. you’re a big helping hand to others and people appreciate you greatly.

oracle: Magic Frog

so even though pile 1 you seem very bright and good energy, you have a bad problem overworking yourself and giving yourself a hard time. i’m seeing that when it comes to your work and the time you spend creating these ideas and being a leader you never seem to put in time for yourself. it’s always “i need to do this i need to do that” spirit is asking you to just chill. that’s a cool way of putting it but relaxing is good for you. especially for right now i’m seeing you just need a nice hot bath, some oils, some wine (if you’re of age😉) and some slow gentle music. don’t be afraid to have fun and have a good time! you don’t have to live in an endless boring cycle where you feel like you’re going nowhere in life, because the universe has so much to offer!

other messages: childlike, green eyes, brown hair, olive skin, pisces, leo, taurus, aquarius, scorpio, white cloth, yellow, sun, golden retriever

Their Energy:

2 of swords - 5 of pentacles - the empress - page of pentacles

so basically this is very much opposite energy here lol. i’m seeing for you pile 1 your future spouse has been through a LOT. they have faced many battles and challenges physically and mentally. in the physical world i’m seeing that they have been perhaps stabbed in the back by people closest to them. or they were manipulated in some way? something to do with friendships here but im seeing that they are someone who has been through a lot. and they’re currently going through their own battles right now but it’s starting to cool down. they may be somebody you’d associate with the rain?? only cause i keep seeing like grey rain clouds and then like the calm after the storm type of thing. your future spouses energy is very introverted which is definitely opposite to yours, because even if you pile 1 are introverted they take the crown lol. they are somebody who doesn’t open up to people quickly and is very very protective of their energy. but do not be mistake because they aren’t weak in any way. they are very strong person. they don’t need your protection or others they know how to protect themselves when needed. they may be a little bit hard headed but it’s not big deal lol… i’m seeing that they are working towards a better future for themselves. they don’t want to stay stuck dwelling on the past but they can’t seem to help it sometimes. they are in dire need of shadow work lol. also off topic but y’all have similar energy in some ways. they’re a very creative person aswell and i was just getting that you could meet them through creative projects.. perhaps through work or some sort of activity. i’m also getting that their energy seems very feminine??? but take what resonated obvi!!

oracle: bubble rider

this is just confirming what i said previously. spirit wants to give your person a helping hand and a push of wisdom. they need to start thinking about themselves in the moment because they’re so worried and fixated on other people that they don’t make time for themselves!!! this is something that they really really need to work on and work through because life is going to throw challenges at them and they’re going to have to learn from it. the picture illustrates a girl looking defeated on a bubble and seems to be curled up towards herself. and this is your future spouse's energy. they need to just open up and be apart of the moment be apart of the world. they need to not be afraid of a little bit of challenge in their life because they will come out stronger.

other messages: feminine, wounded, trauma, fake friends, badass, blonde, curves, aries

your fav things abt your fs:

3 of cups: they are somebody who seems to love close relationships with friends and family. they cherish those close connections. i think when they become comfortable with you they open up a side of them you didn’t know existed. they are honestly a totally different person behind closed doors and it’s something you admire. especially how they treat their family and friends you’re just like ‘where have you been all my life?????’

6 of wands: even though your fs isn’t somebody who is really out there and super extroverted they have these really amazing creative ideas and projects that they bring into light and offer to whatever work they’re putting in. and im seeing that people around them are extremely grateful towards them for it because it offers a lot of things and opportunities for others and also benefits the project. this is something that you admire about them is that they’re just extremely intelligent in what they do.

the lovers: i’m seeing this person has a really good balance between feminine and masculine? like it's honestly pretty attractive to you because you’re like “wow i didn’t know it did that” type of energy haha

10 of cups: they’re very grateful for what people give to them and how they receive things. they aren’t somebody who is stuck up, and is childish in things that they want. i’m seeing that especially when it comes to you they’re very protective towards your emotions and feelings because they cherish you greatly. i see that this relationship will be very new to them or it will be different from what they’ve had in the past.

king of cups: wow okay they’re big on protecting. i'm not seeing overprotective but i’m just seeing that they’re very careful with you. like you’re very precious to them and they just never want to hurt you in any way. very black cat energy if i’m being totally honest haha

their fav things abt you:

knight of swords: so like i said earlier you’re go getters if you want something you’re going to get it and there is no stopping you. i’m seeing that you can be assertive and very blunt and they really like that about you. they really like that you don’t give up easily and can stick up for yourself.

7 of wands: again with the assertiveness. your leadership really shows up when it’s needed and you aren’t afraid of change and making change. you’re somebody who likes to bring facts to the table and defend yourself and what you believe in because to you, that’s what is right. your fs really does admire this about you, and it might influence them a little bit to be as strong and confident as you are. i’m seeing that you might be somebody who is big in being an activist and you really like change. maybe in the work place, your daily life, or just the world. it’s something that you strive to do.

ace of swords: when you are given an opportunity you will take it, but not before you sit and think about it. you aren’t the type to just go into an idea blind, you sit and analyze the outcome to things (this is where overworking could come into the picture) and your future spouse again is influenced by this and intrigued and it’s something they admire about you because in their eyes you’re strong.

ace of cups: you are somebody who is able to express lots of self love and practices self love. this is something you and your future spouse might even do together is practice self love. because again you don’t let the hardships of life run you over and ruin you, you get up and live.

the chariot: you’re probably a very spiritual person and if not spiritual it is something intrigues you. and this goes for any religion but it is something that you defend but also aren’t afraid to express and acknowledge. i think your future spouse could find this to be very educational and often asks you about and it’s something that you’re very willing to sit down and talk about. your interests are always extremely interesting to your fs.

their personality:

2 of wands - page of swords - queen of swords - 5 of cups - 3 of cups - 10 of cups

i’m just getting that this person has alot of love to give. like a lot. they might be really romantic or cheesy at times….?? so they are somebody who can very passionate about their interest and would want to tell you all about it. if they have a creative idea they want to be able to fulfill this desire and treat it in any way. i’m seeing that they’re not so much of a go getter like you, but they aren’t afraid to take action towards the things they want. i am seeing though that they don’t open up well and again are very protective of their energy’s. they aren’t quick to tell you what’s wrong with them and it may have to be something you ‘force’ out of them. sometimes they bottle up their feelings wayyyy too much you have to kind of show them the brighter side of things. i do see that they may struggle with mental health issues and this negatively effects them but it isn’t something that effects the relationship. they don’t let their mental health get in the way of the relationship, which is probably why you will probably have to poke them a little bit to hear what’s the matter lol. I really do feel like their weak spot IS family and friends though. this is probably the biggest influence to what they’ve dealt with in the past and so i’m seeing that close family and friends are deeply cherished and respected. they’re somebody who can have a very cheerful and bright attitude around people they’re closest to. it’s a side that you do really like to see because they’re the type to put on a mask in public ykwim?? they’re very good at hiding that side of them.

how they will make you feel:

5 of pentacles - 8 of wands - the lovers - knight of swords - 3 of pentacles

so what i’m getting is that you may feel very confused at times on how your fs feels. i’m seeing this is because they don’t open up, but since you’re very unaware of it you can feel very left in the dark. i’m seeing they don’t intend to do this and you may ask them “did i do something wrong?” it honestly like breaks their heart lol. this is something that they definitely would need to work on. however they’re easily able to redeem themselves. i’m seeing here that they can be very busy but they’re able to make time for you. when they say something they mean it, so if you guys have a planned date and something comes up they are not rescheduling it. they are doing it that day lol. also i’m seeing that they seem to be more of a listener than a talker and this makes you feel very heard. you may be more of a talker and so you think “oh my god i’m talking their ear off” but they love hearing what you have to say. i’m also seeing that they’re very very protective of you. and this makes you feel very grounded and nurtured. maybe you haven’t felt this way in the past and this person just brings you lots of comfort and joy. they also make you feel confident asfffff. i’m seeing at times you can be very insecure and when you express this to them they’re like “excuse me???” because in their eyes you’re the most perfect human being they’ve ever laid their eyes on. this could also be from them being a romantic they show you how beautiful you are to them… iykwim.

their looks:

the hermit - 10 of swords - the hierophant - 7 of cups - 8 of cups - the tower

so immediately i thought abt their eyes. they might have very sleepy looking eyes or they might look “dead”. their eye color too might be a dark dark brown color. i’m seeing that they could have king eyelashes. their eyes are very prominent. i’m seeing that they could bleach their hair? maybe they have naturally dark hair but they bleach it to be white or blonde. im seeing that their hair could be mid length or could be slightly long. guys could be a bit on the longer side and girls could be a little bit shorter. nothing too short or too long. i’m seeing that they might have very very pale skin… like ghost white. 😭 i’m not seeing dark skin. i am seeing them being fairly short. they’re def shorter than you lol. this person skin is also so??? they for sure have a skincare routine. they have this thing where they have to look good. i’m seeing their style might be a bit edgy but it’s a very unique style. they’re not very alternative or gothic just sort of edgy, but they put together their outfits well. i’m seeing they like to at least look nice wherever they’re going they don’t look ‘musty’ or like they don’t shower. they might be the total opposite of you tbh??? like this is a person people are quick to make assumptions about. and you’re sooooo quick to defend them lol. i’m seeing them as very skinny too. i don’t see them working out so much so they could very skinny and scrawny lol. they’re definitely someone people look at, some people find them to be attractive and some seem to assume a lot about them. but at the end of the day you know them for how they truly are. your fav thing abt them is their eyes tho like it won’t leave my head. tbh they’re kind of intimidating to people.

their love language:

the lovers - wheel of fortune - the empress - 8 of swords - the tower - death

your fs might be a bit of gift giver. they like showering you with gifts. they think about you 24/7 and they want you to know that. i do see acts of service being a big one too. they love helping you, they love being there for you. but pile 1 you are a very independent pile. i’m seeing this might be very annoying to you at times cause you’re like “i got it it’s fine” and your fs is like “no no let me help” this might be something you have to tell them annoys you or makes you feel a bit incompetent BECAUSE you feel like you’re being babied or it comes off as them thinking you can’t do it yourself. which is definitely NOT what their intentions are at all. im seeing words of affirmation being another one too; they love giving you compliments they love making you feel better. they are your shoulder to cry on whenever you need it. they just want to be there for you 24/7 365. they’re so down bad it’s making me sick lol

how they will comfort you:

the hermit - 7 of pentacles - 6 of swords - 8 of wands

i’m seeing that whenever you’re going through something in your life mentally you aren’t the type to seek out help so much. and your future spouse understands this and is very patient with you. also when you’re sick too?? i’m seeing you might be a bit of a crybaby when you’re sick lol and it doesn’t bother your future spouse because all they want to do is protect you. i’m seeing that if you were struggling mentally they wouldn’t bother you with questions but they’d let you know they’re there whenever you need them. they understand more than anyone how it feels, so you can go to them and they will listen. they are honestly an amazing listener. they are really good at giving you guidance and offering you good advice when you need it. i’m seeing they’re the type of person who likes to be very factual and blunt without hurting your feelings, and it’s something that does help you grow and learn especially in the relationship.

First Times:

First Meet: 7 of pentacles - Strength

so the setting is outdoorsy?? i’m seeing something again with work and an activity and i’m seeing that your fs may already work there and this is a transition from your old work to working there. i’m seeing that the energy is very tense with this person. i don’t see you two meeting each other immediately i think it’d be one of those you see then from across the room??? you’d make the first move im seeing lol. i’m also seeing that you immediately find them so incredibly attractive and may ask around about them and to them you don’t catch their eye as much. they could be single when you first meet though but they aren’t really thinking about a relationship.

First Date: 8 of wands - 8 of swords

so i’m ngl i’m getting such awkward energy hahaha i’m seeing that you’re going to feel very excited but also very anxious. this date may be all your idea and so you’re trying your best to woo them lol. i’m seeing also that your person might come off as uninterested at first but believe me they’re just as nervous as you are. i’m seeing they’re trying to impress you as best they can but they’re so awkward lol you’re going to find it very cute. i’m seeing that this date will be very intimate but it will be in a social setting. so i’m seeing that a nice little restaurant. i’m also seeing this could be a thing you guys do at the end of the day?? tbh something you’d see on tv. so a little cliche but also very very romantic. also i’m just seeing so many smiles and love eyes???? y’all are cheesy stop it

First Kiss: Ace of cups - 3 of pentacles

this is so funny to me because both of y’all will initiate the kiss. yk how and please try to understand this, you know how sometimes with first kisses one person initiates the kiss and it’s either a hit or miss. you and your fs will be so down bad that y’all will just feel the energy. like good lord just make out already pls i can’t take this tension. i’m seeing that one of you will start to lean in and the other person is like “hell yea” and they lean in too. like y’all can read each others minds istg y’all are so in tune with each other. your first kiss can be when y’all are alone together?? maybe when yall are having a deep conversation and you guys just bond over something. y’all are so in love at this moment i’m just… wow.

their shadow side:

page of cups - 6 of wands - page of pentacles - 2 of wands - 3 of cups - king of pentacles - knight of pentacles - 9 of swords

i’m seeing that this person can be very selfish. i’m only seeing that this selfish side comes out during conflict. i’m seeing they can be a major know it all about things and can be very “i’m right youre wrong” they can be very childish in the way they think and can be very hard headed. i’m seeing that they have this energy especially when they’re stressed out too, that you really can’t get them to stop thinking like this unless you really humble them. i’m seeing when they’re angry it’s just them acting very childish and very selfish and this can be something that you talk to them about. they’re not necessarily like it towards you but they can definitely be that way towards other people. im seeing they can very childish in what they say if they get into an argument with you, but it’s one of those things where you talk to them like an adult and it snaps them back to reality. they definitely need a reality check from time to time ngl…

Extra Messages!!:

Shaman: keyword: Teacher

trust in divine timing. trust that things are working out towards you and your future spouse. don’t try to rush things, and definitely don’t try to undermine any of spirits work. the universe is working in your favor, so remember to thank the universe everyday. you and your future spouse will be able to heal each others energy and heal that inner child. don’t lose this once in a lifetime connection.

Memory: your past life may be very battled and torn. try to reconcile with your past self and find what parts of you do really need the healing. don’t be afraid of feeling those emotions you buried deep down, they are meant to find you in this lifetime.

Very Soon: You may meet this person very soon or in a matter of a few months. don’t rush this connection. this person will make their way to you when you BOTH are ready. disappointment will only lead you to failure, be grateful for what the universe has to offer you.

what chakra is their weakest: Heart Chakra

what chakra is their strongest: solar plexus chakra

extra key: earth sign, lilac, quartz, past life regression, outside activity, gold, aventurine, yellow jade, yes, african american, you already know them, white, black, foreign, green eyes, 1111, 5555, 9999, street style

your song: let the light in - lana del rey

thank you so so much for allowing me to give you this read and offer guidance on your future spouse! i hope this reading brought you some clarity and opened your eyes about this person. good luck on your journey with love and please like + repost !! <3 feedback is greatly appreciated 🤍

PILE 2

your energy check in:

these are clarifying cards for you and your current energy, this helps me connect to you further and also makes sure this reading is right for you! <3

knight of pentacles - queen of swords - king of cups - the sun

i’m getting that you are a very mature pile. i’m seeing that you’re very intelligent as well. in school you may be honor roll or have been offered many scholarships. i’m seeing that you have a lot of emotional stability. you’re very wise in how you talk to others and people often find themselves coming to you for advice. i’m seeing you may be a bit of a therapist haha i’m also seeing that you could be very wealthy or come from a wealthy family?? or you are just really good with money?? some of you want to be a lawyer…? you’re such a balanced calm energy pile 2 i feel so safe in your presence. you could be very attractive too?? like i see a lot of people have their eyes on you. you’re not afraid of expressing your boundaries to people as well, and i see you’re very careful with who you consider close friends. you have a very positive outlook on life. you’re very good at manifesting too.

oracle: too many dragons

you may have been drawn to pile 1. i see you are a very hardworking pile. you are somebody who is constantly busy constantly doing something. i see that you live off a routine and a schedule, and you’re the type to not be so big with change and getting out of routine. i think this can often scare you and stress you out. don’t be afraid of a little change once in a while. change is good! spirit wants you to be able to express sides of yourself without fear and without embarrassment and disappointment. it’s okay to be a little silly at times, you don’t always need to be serious.

other messages: leo, dark hair, brown hair; freckles, sharp brows, curly hair, tanned skin, dark skin, long fingers, muscles, working out, 1212

their energy:

ace of swords - five of wands - seven of pentacles - the sun

i’m seeing that you and your future spouse are honestly very similar in ways. i’m seeing that’s how you two really bond and connect is because you both have shared interests and can connect on things like that together. i’m seeing your fs can be a little… sassy. they have a little bit of an attitude to them and tend to get into conflict easily. i’m seeing that you might actually really like this about them because you find it cute. it’s just small things they do. they may make sassy remarks that makes you turn your head like “what did you just say?” this person also might be opposite to you when it comes to money. i see they may like a little bit of a shopping spree… and aren’t so good at saving money like you. this is something that you could easily teach them and help them work out. i’m also seeing that your future spouse could be very spiritual. i’m seeing they could be into tarot and astrology and if not that they are big on religion. this could be something you two bond over as well.

oracle: when fairies go bad

i’m seeing that your future spouse is somebody who hides alot of things. this might be a bit of a shock when they mention something that has negatively affected them in the past. they’re somebody who can put up a front and seem like they’re absolutely perfect and then they open up to you and you’re like “i would’ve never expected this” and this is exactly their goal they hate when people try to read them. i’m seeing that they are very protective over themselves and their energy and so theyre not exactly willing to open up completely. this is something they need to work on and control because keeping secrets and hiding things especially from you could cause conflict and issues in the future. even if they have no bad intentions.

other messages: leo, earth sign, green eyes, dark skin, white teeth, vampire fangs???, childlike

your fav things abt your fs:

the fool: your future spouse is able to get up and have fun. it’s never a dull moment with them because they’re just full of so much energy and they’re able to have fun wherever they are. if you have an idea or want to go out with them they are more than willing to do it. i see that they love adventures and love seeing what the world has to offer them. they may be really connected with nature.

temperance: again what i was saying earlier i’m seeing that your person could be very spiritual or very religious in some way. i see they love to talk about their beliefs and offer guidance, and they’re not annoying about it at all. but when you ask them questions about it, they become very passionate and go on little rants and tangents lol. i’m seeing that to you this offers you lots of wisdom and knowledges you in many ways because you see the world differently in their eyes. they may be a pisces?? or have pisces in their chart.

eight of wands: i’m seeing that your person is very extroverted and very social. i’m seeing that they have alot of friends and this is because they’re able to bond with a lot of people and this is how they keep friendships. they’re really good at carrying conversations and even starting them. they aren’t afraid to take the lead in things. you are often wowed by how well they’re able to connect with complete strangers, and this is just like mind blowing to you. i see you may be a bit of an ambivert (some of you) so this person takes the lead in some convos. sometimes you can’t even get a word in! lol

the star: your person is so so so confident and comfortable in their own skin. the card illustrates a cat knocking over a glass full of water, and this to me resembles how they just don’t let stuff get in their way. they don’t let the bad parts of the world negatively affect their way of living. they take this as a way of growth and they take this as a challenge. they love the feeling of adrenaline they get when they do something. but you will admire how this person carries themselves. because they have no care in the world. they put themselves first because they know that the world will never stop for them. this person is just wow their energy is so healing and so balanced. they’re literally the definition of the sun.

the tower: this is just continuing from what i was saying previously. change is possible. to you, you need to follow a routine and if something changes it may feel like the end of the world to you. but to them. they love change. they admire change. change is what keeps them going. they like to live on the wild side a bit, they like to step out of their comfort zone, they’re the type to say yolo (😭) they aren’t afraid to be a little dangerous because they find routines and schedules to be boring. they honestly might have gotten into trouble at school sometimes??? just got that little message there haha

their fav things abt you:

(i wasn’t going to do it but y’all got an extra card lol)

four of cups: your person honestly loves that you have a routine and a schedule you follow. to them it makes you seem very intelligent and mature. they also like the differing aspects of you hating change and them loving it because… they want to spice up your life a bit. you might be very bored in life when you meet this person that you step out of your own comfort zone and let them lead the way. they want to show you the world in a totally different perspective.

six of swords: you’re somebody who isn’t afraid to show your sensitive side and be emotional. since you are very comfortable with yourself and aren’t afraid to open up. this person isn’t so comfortable with showing their vulnerable side because they like to put up a front at times, but you don’t. you don’t people judge you for how you’re feeling because they’re feelings. they really like when they see all these sides of you because it reminds them of how human you are.

ten of pentacles: like i said previously some of you may be very wealthy and some of this could be inherited from your family. and if you aren’t wealthy i am seeing for a lot of you, you’re good with saving money and spending money correctly. im seeing that your fs really loves how well you take care of your money and don’t spend it all in one go (unlike them…😬) i’m seeing that you’re also very humble and not cocky at all. especially with how some of you may be very wealthy or just because you can take care of your money well, they like how you don’t shove it down people’s throats. you’re a very humble person.

ace of wands: i’m seeing you coming home to your spouse and just telling them about your day and all of these ideas and opportunities you were given and you telling them your input that you thought about and at the end of it they’re just jaw dropped. like you’re so intelligent in their eyes because you see the world in such a unique way. they would have never thought of it like that, iykwim.

knight of cups: you’re literally their ideal type. you’re everything they’ve ever wished for and more. i’m seeing that when you come into their life they’re just astounded on how somebody like you actually exists. like in their mind they manifested you cause there’s no way lol. i’m seeing that you’re just somebody they’ve always wanted and so some of you they may be lowkey obsessed cause they don’t want to lose you, but others of you they’re just so madly in love haha

the chariot: i’m seeing that you’re somebody who likes to move fast. you don’t stop for anybody, and this is one of the many things that you and your spouse relate to is you both just keep on moving. this is often because of your routine that life just begins to be one endless cycle so obviously the world moves a lot quicker, but either way you don’t slow down you like that when an idea or opportunity happens you take it.

their personality:

the lovers - queen of swords - king of cups - eight of swords - five of pentacles - four of cups - page of wands

they are big on standing up for themselves and others. they are the type of person who isn’t afraid to say anything, which is why they tend to get into a lot of conflict. i’m seeing that this person tends to be loud and isn’t the type to secretly talk crap abt somebody behind their back. they say it to their face. your spouse is confrontational fs. but they do this for the ones they love. it isn’t attention seeking or trying to be center of attention, it’s them protecting their loved ones from any evil energy’s. they hear one bad thing about you and they’re either trying to find out every little detail abt this person to ruin their life or they’re face to face abt to fight. they’re not intimidating but you really don’t want to get on their bad side lol. they also can have such a soft side to them. besides the extroverted behavior they are capable of relaxing and really listening into others feelings and energy. it might come as a surprise but they have a lot of wisdom of their own to share. they again aren’t big on opening up and tend to hide their feelings from you and others, they hate being perceived as weak. they are very adventurous and very impulsive at times, but they know how to have fun.

how they will make you feel:

knight of pentacles - the hierophant - ten of swords - four of pentacles - the hanged man

i see that you may often be discredited for your work and can feel very unheard and unseen by people around you. i see that your ideas are often extremely important and extremely helpful to your community but it’s seen by jealous eyes. this is why your work is pushed down. your spouse is so supportive in everything you do. i see that they will listen to every.single.idea. you have. i see that they will make you feel very heard and seen, and at some point their opinion is the only one you care about. they will make you feel secure and understood, i’m seeing that they are one to validate your feelings. they don’t ever want to make you feel invalidated and often try to understand every side to an argument. i’m seeing that they are somebody who will definitely make you surrender these dark thoughts and trade them into more hopeful feelings. i’m seeing that they might even offer you shadow work ideas… they will bring you lots of faith and i see this will benefit you greatly.

their looks:

the hermit - the fool - death - five of swords - queen of pentacles - nine of swords

so i’m seeing dark skin and hair. somebody who may have hair that is pretty short. so maybe girls are short guys are a bit long but both prefer their hair shorter. some of you they may like to dye it a dark color. mostly seeing dark brown. i’m seeing they have a very innocent look to them, they look very youthful? they may be younger than you or they just take really good care of their skin and their body. again i was seeing they like to work out and may have some muscles to them. sleeper build?? i don’t see their style being very edgy, unlike pile 1 they’re very into brighter colors. and even then they might like very toned colors. especially colors that compliment their skin and hair. i’m seeing that they may have a bit of an rbf. suuupperrr strong aura people are attracted to this person because of their aura. i’m seeing that they may also look confused all the time (???) like the lights are on but nobody’s home haha. i’m also seeing that they could have a large nose or their nose is very prominent? nice smile. good cheekbones too. i’m seeing that they could be fairly feminine or they are more comfortable in their feminine side. i’m seeing that they’re short asf tho definitely shorter than you. actually some of you might be the same height…. they will never be taller than you that’s for sure. so either same height - shorter. their neck???? something abt their neck you really like i- idk. some of you really like their legs too, they don’t skip leg day. could have a noticeable scar somewhere??? on the face or arms… they look so innocent and cute to people but then they open their mouth and people are wishing they never thought that lol you love your fs though this doesn’t bother you ahsha could also be younger than you. pouty lips too? their chin might be a bit prominent aswell. slim face.

their love language:

the tower - four of wands - queen of cups - 2 of wands - ten of swords

physical touch 110% this person love love loves touching you. hugging you, kissing you, etc they have to have their hands on you 24/7. they try not to be annoying but they can’t help it they’re so down bad for you. i’m ngl i’m seeing ‘that one couple in line at the fair’ iykyk … they love physical touch im seeing them wrapping their arms around you when you’re doing something. some of you they hold onto your waist when out in public, they let people know you’re taken that’s for sure. words of affirmation. this is especially seen when they notice you’re stressed or something is bothering you, they shower you with affirmations to make you feel better. they try to cheer you up by making you laugh… some of you this will not work but i’m seeing that they try anyways haha. theyre very into flirting with you too, i see any chance they get they flirt with you. they like to make you flustered in public. i’m seeing they whisper things into your ear when you’re out and it catches you off guard, they like to see you looking red in the face or shocked because it makes them want to do it more lol.

how they will comfort you:

five of wands - 2 of cups - queen of pentacles - six of cups

again with the words of affirmation, i’m seeing that you can overthink really badly over things and can feel very overwhelmed and your fs will do everything in their power to cheer you up. they love to tell you everything they love about you, everything they cherish about you etc. i’m seeing that literally NEVER want to see you get hurt. in their eyes you’re the most precious thing to them, and if anything were to happen to you they will feel like it’s the end of the world. like you stub your toe or something and suddenly they’re carrying you to bed, making your favorite dinner, etc. like they’re so down bad this is sickening. lol. i’m also seeing that they are very blunt to you about things, they let you know if you’re in the wrong abt something, they might be a tough love type of person. they want to make you feel secure and keep that positive mindset but they also don’t want you to get too in your head about things. i’m seeing that you will feel so much better after you rant to them about something because they’re just so good at correlating their words.

First times:

First Meet: Ace of swords - the high priestess

so i feel like most of pile 2 might meet their fs online. on a dating app or some type of social media. it could be you who finds them first, or them who finds you first idk. but i am seeing that you guys will immediately hit it off. like the energy is very calm and relaxed. this brings me back to saying y’all have shared interests because you definitely do. and you two will probably bond really quickly like “oh you look this too? let’s meet up rn” like LMAO y’all are just both certain this is the right person for you. i see you both will be laughing a lot when you meet and alot of smiles. you might find your fs to be really funny?? like they’re probably a naturally funny person and it’s a plus to you. like green flag for sure.

First Date: judgement - ace of cups

so for your first date i’m seeing somewhere outdoors OR an arcade or somewhere where you can do lots of things. i’m seeing that the energy here is very vibrant and fun. you both will be smiling alot and having a great time and it’s just an overall fun experience. i do see there being major tension between the two of you and i think it’s because you two just know you’re meant for each other. like i wouldn’t be surprised if y’all started dating after your first date because the love is just there. y’all will find out so much about each other because you guys just feel so comfortable in each others energy.

First Kiss: The magician - the emperor

so definitely seeing you initiating the kiss. the emperor card literally screams “do it” like i see you hesitating to kiss them but spirit will be screaming in your ear “do it do it do it” like chanting LMAO. i see that you might catch them off guard when you kiss them, you might have your hand on their cheek/jaw. or they will. i’m seeing that they could have been talking about something or busy and then boom you give them a big ol smooch. i see the energy and feelings are mutual and they will kiss back cause in their heads they’re saying “hell yea” LMAO. like they’ve been waiting ages for you to kiss them, they def weren’t going to make the first move lolz.

their shadow side:

temperance - king of cups - six of cups - the lovers - five of cups - queen of pentacles

i’m seeing your future spouse can honestly be extremely childish and immature. i keep hearing the word ‘mean’. they can say things that make you go “why did you just say that?” cause it could have been disrespectful or just something incredibly hurtful. i’m seeing that they are mostly this way towards themselves tho. you will often see them being extremely ill towards themselves and saying mean things about themselves and you’re like “why are you saying this about yourself?” because on the outside they like to be seen as happy and perfect but behind closed doors they can be insecure. pile 2 some of you do want to have a family and kids, but your fs may have a hard time coming to terms with this. i think they may have some generational trauma and so they’ve grown into this person now and they may be exactly like the person who gave them this trauma. iykwim. they either 1) don’t want to be a parent just because or 2) don’t want to be a parent because they know they’ll be just like the person who raised them. not all of you but some of y’all’s fs may say things in spite of the moment. during arguments they can be extremely childish and immature and say things to hurt your feelings. (this is a really unhealthy thing in a relationship so definitely if this is happening talk to them about it. y’all don’t deserve that type of energy from anyone.)

Extra Messages !!:

The Oldest Fairy: so i’m seeing that you might be afraid of losing this youthful side to you, and you may be afraid of getting older. im seeing that spirit wants you to know that you shouldn’t be afraid of getting older and maturing, your fs will be put into your life so that you don’t lose this childish side to you. they will show you parts of you that you’ve never seen before. don’t be afraid of getting older.

Love: y’all are literally the cutest. i’ve been cheesing this entire reading because you two are inseparable. y’all are meant to be. y’all are perfect for each other. this love is once in a lifetime. this love is infinite. even after death your love for one another will stay known. you guys may have had a past life together because you two are so familiar and so in tune with each others energy it’s insane. you might not have been in many or any relationships pile 2 so this relationship is very new it feels very new and very raw and it will show you the world in such a magical way. y’all are precious stop.

Let Go of Control Issues: allow this situation to unfold naturally. i didn’t put this in the shadow side but they might have some control issues. but you also. i’m getting that you’re really urging and pulling this relationship to happen NOW but spirit says it needs to wait. don’t rush things pile 2 the universe knows that when you receive this love you won’t be disappointed.

what chakra is their weakest: heart chakra

what chakra is their strongest: crown chakra

your song: nervous - Shawn Mendes

extra key: water sign, rose, rose quartz, opal, aventurine, clear quartz, 222, blonde, brunette, dyed hair, air sign, earth sign, few years 1-5, green eyes, twin flame, lives close to that area, from that area, 666, 555, 1212, 3333, 9999, 5555, street style, no, gemini, scorpio

thank you so so much for allowing me to give you this read and offer guidance on your future spouse! i hope this reading brought you some clarity and opened your eyes about this person. good luck on your journey with love and please like + repost !! <3 feedback is greatly appreciated 🤍

PILE 3

your energy check in:

these are clarifying cards for you and your currently energy, this helps me connect to you further and also makes sure this reading is right for you! <3

eight of wands - mother of swords - the sun - eight of swords

you seem to be a very optimistic pile 3. i’m seeing that you went through intense struggles in your life, you went through soooo much in the past and you’re finally transitioning into this happier and more sustainable way of living. i’m seeing a lot of you are divinely protected. whether you realize it or not you are protected. and not just from the divine but people around you, you have a whole army behind you pile 3. i’m not saying it’s impossible for bad things to happen to you, but it will take a lot of work because the universe is not letting this energy come back into your life. pile 3 you feel so comfortable in your skin. you feel so balanced and you feel finally understood and finally seen. you don’t feel broken, and forgotten about, and misunderstood. people are finally seeing you for who you truly are. you are able to get up in the mornings and actually live life. i do see you still struggle with having to live with the memories of what happened to you in the past. it seems that though you’ve healed or are currently healing you still live with this haunting memory or you just find yourself reliving those moments again. remember that spirit is always with you and you will always have somebody there. you aren’t alone 🤍

oracle: reflections

pile 3 shadow work is so beneficial for you. in this time you are feeling stuck, confused, lost, drained at moments. and this is because there is something within yourself that you need to change. change is your best option. don’t be scared to let go of things that no longer serve you. they’re in the past. they hold you no greater good. they formed you into the person you are today, but that doesn’t mean it needs to stay in your life. sticking with the original plans is a good idea, but don’t be afraid to switch things up. you control this part of your life now, nobody else. let this ego go.

extra messages: dark hair, eyeliner, pigtails, full lips, leo, trauma, mama, gothic, curvy, earth sign, fire sign

their energy:

daughter of pentacles - father of cups - three of pentacles - the devil

okay like. let me go on a rant really quickly. pile 3 y’all are one tough bunch. y’all have been through SHIT. and guess what? so has your future spouse. pile 2 i was talking about how they will bond over personal interests like music, hobbies, etc. pile 3 y’all are sooooo different. i see that it’s one of those things where nobody else understood you except each other. you have grown through hell and back, and so has your future spouse. you will find yourself so amazed that somebody like this has gone through so much, and they’d think the same thing. y’all might meet through group therapy tbh but that might be stretching it. anywho your person is definitely an empath. they feel everyone’s emotions x10. they can read people sooooo well?? they can read people like an open book. i’m seeing they might be very masculine and you might be very feminine. they’re very sensitive and can take things personally lol. bad coping mechanism ngl. i see that they can have a very toxic mindset towards things and be seen as pessimistic, this can be a turn off to you when you meet them. i think you can understand why they feel this way once you get to know them better.

oracle: fairies

i’m seeing your future spouse can have a very unique look to them. their style may be odd to strangers, something about the way they present themselves could be perceived as weird or ‘different’ to people. i’m seeing to you this person is very different from your past. they aren’t so much your type, but i do see that you connect with them in some way. i see maybe their personality is what makes them more attractive to you andddd they are so sweet?? like they’re absolutely precious lolz they could be a hippie tbh… or something similar to it.

extra message: long blonde hair, no sleep, pale skin, water sign, pisces, cancer, capricorn, scorpio, 1212

your fav things about them:

five of cups: this card is normally a very sad card but the energy im getting is that you love how far theyve come. you love that they never gave up and theyre here with you now. i’m seeing that they open up to you about alot of things they struggle with and they tell you when theyre not feeling their best and you appreciate that. you look up to them pile 3.

the hanged man: you like how they like to view every perspective of a situation. i see that theyre somebody who puts time and effort into things, and when things don’t work out people can’t tell them “they didn’t try”. your future spouse loves to put in effort into things and relationships.

four of pentacles: you enjoy how theyre they are. it gives you some hope for the world. you’re really good at working with others, and can be somewhat of a people person. (might even say post people pleaser??) they might be big multitasker, and this is like somewhat amazing to them cause youre like “whatttt…???”

two of cups: they treat you so well. they make you feel so loved and appreciated. you’ve never felt this way about anyone before. they show you what true love actually is. you may have been betrayed in the past by someone who you thought you could trust (who you might have been dating). i see you are very protective of your energy and when they come into your life they show you that the love you had before wasn’t real. you feel very safe with them.

six of pentacles: they like to spoil you tbh. i don’t see them being somebody with alot of money, but they do try to gift you things. i just saw somebody plucking a flower and gifting it to their spouse. them with you tbh. you love how well they treat you (like i said before) they just want to give you the world is all i’m seeing because they hate hate hate seeing you down. they’re soooo protective of you.

their fav things about you:

king of cups: when you meet them you will be very grounded and this will stay. you may already be very grounded but i’m just seeing like… you have so much balance in your life once you meet this person. this person honeslty is the cherry on top. they will love how you’re able to include them into your life, but also be very independent. i see they may struggle with being a tad bit dependent at times, and so they view you as sort of their grounding.

nine of swords: pile 3 do you like to journal or write?? i see some of you that could be a hobby of yours. your future spouse adores this. they will never overstep your boundaries, but if you ever wanted to share a little bit of your knowledge/hobby with them they are zoned in. they LOVE hearing about your special interests.

the world: pile 3 arent y’all some dreamers. i swear y’all live in the clouds. you also are a very grateful in a lot of things. you may have close relationships with family and they enjoy it. they love seeing this nurturing side of you. they love seeing how careful and gentle you can be.

son of pentacles: you’re very wise in the sense of finances and business? some of you might be really good in your work or you are just extremely wise in the way you handle situations. i see you guys can receive lots of luck. you may be very lucky. you future spouse actually really likes this lol. they like how lucky you are cause they believe that you deserve it.

son of swords: pile 3 yall might be a little intimidating…. but your future spouse??? tbh. it turns them on a little bit. like. they love seeing this scary side to you??? they love when you get defensive and protective. they might be very deer in headlights and you're very saber tooth tiger (literally just a random animal i thought of ngl??) they like feeling protected and safe with you, and likes seeing that darker side you have.

their personality:

the sun - six of pentacles - daughter of wands - three of swords - the tower - the lovers

okay so first off i heard they might be a bit of a hoarder… that goes for some. anywho. this person is such a damaged energy. they’ve gone through so much shit in their life. the three of swords makes me think that they were betrayed by close friends?? and this is because your person really loves helping people. they love being there for people. they might do charity work? or they do some type of fundraiser? it brings them bliss, joy, it warms their heart to see people getting the help they need. goodness pile 3 your future spouse is suuuppppeeerrrr sensitive. i literally just seen them in the verge of tears 24/7. like you’re somebody who’s really tough and might hide your emotions well… yea not ur spouse. they are so close to breaking down lolz. they love hugs by the way. i’m seeing they just have so much love to give? they are the type of person to put others happiness before their own, which is probably why they were betrayed in the past. they are def a people pleaser at times, this is something they need to work on. they really just want to be there for everybody, and is just an extreme empath with a lot of big kid emotions. i don’t see you finding this annoying, but i do see them crying over cute animal vids and you’re just looking at them confused haha

how they will make you feel:

the magician - death - the empress - two of pentacles - three of wands - seven of cups

pile 3 let me just say i love y’all’s connection. everything about this relationship has my heart melting. i didn’t do this for the other two piles but i felt the urge to read bottom of the deck energy and when i flipped it over boom the wheel of fortune. pile 3 your connection will feel too good to be true. you’ll feel like you’re in a dream. some of you might lucid dream a lot im seeing. this connection will feel so unreal, so close, so intimate. when i saw the magician card i thought “oh they balance each others energy” book the two of pentacles came out. sooo many clarifications from spirit. when i saw the death card i heard your future spouse literally saying “change is good for you”. you guys are tied together. i was getting twin flame energy but tbh i feel like y’all are lowkey soulmates. y’all are meant to be together in this time and many times after that. you two only understand each other. i see that you guys are so raw and authentic and real. pile 2 their fs keeps secrets from them, not you pile 3. you and your fs lets you see every single side of themselves. y’all aren’t afraid to be human. this connection has lasted lifetimes, you don’t care how angry or how dramatic the other person can be because this love you two have is strong. yk how some people it’s an ick when somebody acts a certain way??? yea you guys literally don’t care. you will love each other just as much as you did yesterday and more. you make each other feel so complete. you make each other feel so balanced. you open up to each other and break down these walls y’all built up all those years ago. you are so real with this person and it makes you feel so emotional because you know that only they could understand you. i love this pile so much stop

their looks:

three of swords - temperance - eight of pentacles - six of swords - ace of wands - the magician

so i’m seeing if they have light skin or pale skin their hair is darker, and if they have darker skin their hair is lighter?? and not even just white or blonde hair like they probably dye it a brighter color. im seeing they have pin straight hair or really loose curls. some have wavy hair but it’s mostly straight hair vibes tbh. i’m seeing that in the winter they may wear brighter colors, but in the fall,spring, and summer they wear darker colors lol??? okay so listen to me on this, but im seeing that they look lowkey dead. like pile 1 i was talking abt how their eyes look like dead/sleepy your person lowkey looks like a zombie. (and no nothing bad to why they look like this, some of them just look like that) but this isnt saying they don’t take care of themselves. they do take care of themselves 100%. im seeing that their nose might be fairly big? their lips might be very small too. some of them have piercing blue eyes. like bright blue. others have honey or hazel. nothing too dark i’m seeing. could be super super skinny. long fingers?? they’re tall too? might be taller than you. people aren’t intimidated by this person at all, i see people think they look very innocent and nice. like they just have this very sweet look to them tbh. i see people can tell this person has gone through stuff too, i see they might be a bit of a target at times and other times people are really careful with them. i see this is definitely odd one out energy, people perceive this person as different.

their love language:

the sun - nine of cups - the moon - father of swords - daughter of cups

acts of service for sure they want to GIVE TO YOUUU. they want to help you out in any way they can. literally will give you foot rubs(??) i’m seeing they will cook for you. so gift giving by be one too. i’m seeing they just want to help you out in any way. definitely loves quality time as well. this is somebody who will find comfort in just complete silence with you. they will hold you while they watch tv or read, and while you’re doing something else. they just want to be in your presence. i see them being a really good listener to your rants too. but it’s balanced cause you listen to them really well too. y’all are so comfortable with each other this is adorable. they also know all of your favorite things??? you might idk like to crochet and this person will find something for you to crochet, or they will buy you a crochet pin or like a magnet that says something abt crochet on it idk LMAO they want to let you know that they do actually care what you have to say to them. they are really good at showing it haha

how they will comfort you:

three of pentacles - six of swords - nine of pentacles - the magician

they want to try and take you out if you’re not feeling good mentally. you may want to stay inside and not do anything and your fs is like “uh no? you’re going to get your butt up and we’re gonna cheer you up” they know keeping you cooped up won’t make you feel better. if you’re sick this person will treat you like a god/goddess. they will make sure you are being fed well, you’re getting the right medicine at the right time, etc. when you’re sick it’s like terrible to them. some of them might be a germaphobe tbh. i’m seeing that they do like to take care of you. you feel like you’re burdening them but remember they love to help people. when you’re feeling under the weather or not good mentally they’re here for you 110%. they also might try and spoil you a little bit to make you feel better. they will literally do whatever you want haha

First Times:

First Meet: four of swords - mother of cups

i saw a museum? somewhere very calm and relaxed and where your emotions can run freely. somewhere where art can be or is expressed. could meet in a garden? or somewhere extremely colorful there is a lot of color. im seeing that you two will be very drawn towards each other but you both will be too nervous to come up and say anything lol. i am seeing you may be introduced to each other by a friend? that might be how you kick off the convo and then boom y’all are obsessed with each other. i think your spouse might offer a date idea near the end of the convo… 👀

First Date: two of wands - the moon

ok ok so im gonna take the moon card literally and say that y’all might stargaze on your first date. but this would be after the actual start of the date. y’all will definitely go somewhere outdoors. y’all might meet around the summer time. a lot of fairs happen in the summer time and im just seeing that happening ngl. y’all will go somewhere where a lot of people are present, but it feels like it’s just the two of you. this date will be soooo nerve wracking to both of you. so many awkward giggles and awkward movements. this is like teenage love, like holding their hand for the first time. you’ll feel very young with this person. i do see y’all not wanting this date to end so you go stargazing… some of you not all. but you both really just want to stay in each others energy for ever.

First Kiss: the chariot - mother of swords

okay i’m not going to lie, i wasn’t going to say it but i felt like you were going to have your first kiss on your first day and these cards kind of clarified that. i do feel like this relationship might move a bit fast for you pile 3 but there is so much passion between you two. like i am seeing you two lowkey having your first kiss really quickly if not on your first date. i’m seeing this doesn’t scare either of you because you both have so much love for each other. it’s honestly extremely intimate, i’m seeing that this kiss will last a long time and you both won’t really stop kissing hahah. i’m not seeing you two getting into a relationship immediately though… some of you yes others of you it will take just some time. but i do see this first kiss happening fairly quickly and neither of you are disappointed. tension tension tension.

their shadow side:

four of swords - ten of wands - son of wands - the star - the magician - eight of swords - daughter of pentacles - the empress

okay so this is somebody who can be very conflicting?? they might confuse you sometimes on how they’re feeling and this can annoy you. this person has alot of blockage in their life. they are stuck right now and will continue to be, in seeing that they have a lot of people against them? they might be somebody who uses their emotions as an excuse sometimes. and this can be really hurtful cause it can be seen as very manipulative. they are somebody who is extremely emotional and extremely in tune with you and nature but they just have this really dark side to them. they are somebody who doesn’t really change alot about themselves. it’s ironic cause they tell you that change is a good thing and that change can help you, but they refuse to change themselves.

Extra Messages!!:

Book Fairy: don’t be afraid to go out and try something new don’t be afraid to try new things and do something different in your life. something that challenges your intellect and makes you really think. change change change. you and your fs will explore these types of changes together. they’re i’ll definitely be the type to show you the world in many different ways.

Joy: you’re able to view the world in a positive way. you are able to go out and have fun. don’t let people places or things stop you from living life. the only person that should matter to you is you. be open to receiving joy and happiness in your life.

Worth Waiting For: divine timing is at work in your love life. this relationship is something that will change your life for only good reasons. i am seeing that this will bring you lots of abundance and clarity and you will feel at home with this person. there is no i’ll energy towards this connection, you two are meant for each other.

what chakra is their weakest: root chakra

what chakra is their strongest: heart chakra

your song: I Hear a Symphony - Cody Fry

Extra Key: 333,444, air/earth/water, marigold, carnelian, dioptase, sunstone, red jasper, aventurine, white, green eyes, grey hair, from that area, 444, 5555, 777, 2222, casual style, street style, NO, fire sign, gemini, in a while 5+

thank you so so much for allowing me to give you this read and offer guidance on your future spouse! i hope this reading brought you some clarity and opened your eyes about this person. good luck on your journey with love and please like + repost !! <3 feedback is greatly appreciated 🤍

[majesty-madness]

Within the Cover of Night - Arthur Morgan x reader (sfw)

Summary: At first, she thinks it’s nothing but her imagination; that because of the life she lives, she’s letting her paranoia get the better of her. And then she’s snatched up in the dead of night by a pair of unfamiliar hands. 

Word Count: 3600+

Warnings: established relationship between Arthur and Y/N, horror themes, kidnapping, stalking, violence, blood, injury, cursing, pissed off Arthur, crying, attempted rape, mentions of sexual assault, panic attack, attempted murder, serial killer, hostage situation, brief escape, comfort 

a/n: Not proofread. Hardly anything happens in this part, the next part will be much more intense.

Main Masterlist

HOUR TWO

HOUR ONE

For a while now, she had been meaning to ride out into Strawberry but the camp has been a little too hectic as of late with the whole moving again thing. 

They had just gotten settled at Clemens Point, one of the more muggy spots but still beautiful nonetheless. 

With things quiet, Y/N felt she finally had an opportunity to venture a bit so that afternoon, she packed up her horse and headed right out. 

Thankfully it was a clear day out, not a cloud in sight coupled with a light breeze. These were the days she admired most, nothing crazy just a nice warm day and a cool wind blowing through her hair. 

It’s what made her love this country. 

Around twenty minutes passed, when Y/N could see the edge of Strawberry in the distance, maybe about a couple hundred yards, before a voice yelled out. 

“Help me, please!” 

Her head jerked to the side of the road, seeing a distressed man looking up at her and waving his arms about. “Oh please Miss, help me.”

“What’s the problem?” She immediately asked following his plea. 

He sighed drearily. “My horse got scared by a snake and threw me right off! I tried to catch myself but I hurt my leg in the tumble. If you could give me a ride back to town, I would be very grateful.”

Y/N outwardly cringed, not sure she was willing to do what he asked. “I don’t know, sir…”

“Please Miss! I’m staying in a small hotel just in Strawberry. It shouldn’t be that far from here…” He desperately explained, planting both hands together in what looked like prayer. 

Y/N looked back up toward the road, eyeing the distance it would take to travel into the town. Truthfully, it shouldn’t take any more than ten minutes on horseback. 

Loudly, she sighed and shook her head. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to take you back to town.” 

“Thank you so very much, miss. I really appreciate this!” The man gleefully exclaimed as he scrambled on the back of Y/N’s horse. 

Once the man had got on back, Y/N noticed her horse beginning to act fidgety, jerking her head back and forth while occasionally pawing at the ground. She had thought that was odd but Y/N continued with tugging on the reins and leading her down the dirt path. 

As soon as Y/N’s horse, Maple, began a steady sprint the man spoke. “I’m lucky you came by when you did, Miss or else I might’ve been stranded with a twisted leg.”

“I’m sure somebody would have come by eventually.” 

The man laughed out loud, almost too loudly. “Maybe, but regardless, I'm still glad you stopped. I do apologize though, I have a terrible sense of direction so who knows how long I might’ve been lost.” 

Already Y/N could see the front gate leading into Strawberry at the end of the road. “I guess you do; Strawberrys’ just down the road here.” 

The man’s grip on her shoulders tightened the slightest bit. “My ma always said to stick to the path cause I was always gettin’ confused. I’ll never learn, I suppose.”

Y/N said nothing, instead took note of his slowly tightening grip on her. It wasn’t becoming obvious per say, she happened to feel the difference in pressure. 

“Lay off a little there, sir.” Y/N thought to herself, keeping her eyes focused on the road forward.

If this man kept persisting in his hold on her, she may say something about it but as soon as the thought entered her mind he hadn’t made another move to tighten his grip. 

Perhaps he was scared of falling off the horse. 

“Those were good times though, riding down the trail with my ma. I’ll tell ya, she knew her sense of direction.” The man continued to babble on and on. 

“Is that right?” Y/N replied nonchalantly, pretending to be engaged in what he was saying. 

“Oh yes, Miss. She was the one that taught me everythin’ I know.” 

Then Y/N’s horse passed the gate to Strawberry, heading right to the center of town. The man kept talking, like he didn’t know how to stop. 

“It was always just ma and me; the thing I remember most about her was how pretty she was.” 

Y/N hummed, finally stopping next to the hotel only a few feet away. 

However, the man didn’t make an immediate attempt to hop off or make any kind of gesture that he was getting down. Suddenly he leaned forward, lips nearly touching the shell of Y/N’s ear and whispered to her.

“But I think you are the prettiest thing I ever did see.” 

The sound of his lowered voice sent chills up her spine, a cold sweat to form on her forehead. Every nerve in her body stopped functioning altogether and all she could do was sit there. 

Before she could push him off her, he quickly jumped down and waved her goodbye. “Farewell, Miss. I know we’ll be seein’ each other again.” 

When Y/N flicked her eyes up to meet the man’s, she no longer saw a helpless person with a piss poor sense of direction, now she saw a physically able man who knew exactly what he was doing. 

If that smirk on his face wasn’t any indication. 

Y/N felt a spell of fear wash over her as she watched him sturt away, leg working perfectly. 

Fighting back the disgust settling in her stomach, Y/N jerked the reins towards the town entrance. Her instinct to hurry and gallop right out of there, but another part of her mind reasoned that since she rode all the way out here, she should at least check out what she wanted.

She reasoned however, if things got wary then she had her gun with her. Nothing a well-aimed bullet couldn’t fix, specifically a possible pervert who didn’t know how to keep his hands to himself.

Y/N made sure to go a bit of an obscure way to the local shop, going around the back of the wooden buildings, keeping her horse close to the exits. 

Surprisingly, for a small town shop, it looked very extravagant inside in a rustic kind of way. The floor and walls were shiny with polish, lanterns lining the expansion of the building, colorful woven rugs covering parts of the floor, framed windows paired with lacy curtains and small aisles of different kinds of items neatly placed on every shelf. There was even a corner of the room where people could sit and enjoy the company of a fireplace. 

It was real nice. It almost made Y/N forget what had happened only minutes ago. 

As she browsed the kinds of products the store had, she caught sight of a luster shelled ink pen. 

She’d heard about these; the new kind of pens where you didn’t need to dip into ink, instead they had their own ink inside the pen itself. She wasn’t quite sure how they managed that but it intrigued her. 

Looking at the unique design on the outside of the writing utensil, her thoughts drifted to Arthur. 

Maybe he’d like something like that. 

So without contemplating it for too long, Y/N bought the pen and headed right out. 

As she approached the back exit of the building she suddenly remembered why she had entered from the back in the first place when the familiar rush of adrenaline coursed through her veins. Her hand had raised to grab the doorknob, but froze for a second while she thought on all the possibilities that could happen as soon as she stepped out. 

Y/N raised her other hand to the revolver in her holster as she poked her head outside. She looked to the left then the right to discover nothing there. Not even a stray animal. 

Once that reality sunk in, she relaxed her arms to her sides and headed back to her horse hitch a  few feet away. 

At first, things seemed fine on the way back to camp, however the longer she rode, the more unnerved she felt. 

Even as she came upon the trail that led to camp, there was something wrong. Her horse had been fussing about the entire ride back, making more noises than normal, fidgeting, acting anxious and that told Y/N things weren’t right. 

Her horse was not easily frightened, but whatever was happening was really bothering her; enough to make her move about like a scared child. 

Before she stepped fully onto the trail, Y/N forced the animal to a stop and turned her a bit. Her eyes stared into the treeline in which she could barely see five feet into. 

She hadn’t realized she’d done it, but Y/N had slowed her breathing down, hearing only the silence of the forest. 

Her gaze bounced around the patches of grass, bushes, tree branches, and such seeing nothing yet suspecting malevolence lurking in the approaching darkness. 

One second…two seconds…three seconds….four…five…

She began to sweat fiercely. 

Six…seven …eight…

The pounding of her heart reached her ears like thunder in the sky, rushing over her whole being.

Nine…

She wanted to look away, but didn’t want to at the same time; feeling if she looked anywhere else she’d be doomed. 

Ten.

Y/N tugged hard again on the reins and forced her horse to take off in a mad dash for camp, away from the deep forest. 

Though Y/N wasn’t the one running for her life, she panted out with a heavy breath nonetheless. The hypothetical chance of someone following her causing her fight or flight response to kick in. 

It was by no means logical as she had no way to prove that there had been anyone beyond the treeline as her subconscious seemed to believe, although the sensations that surfaced were no less scary. 

In those short seconds, her brain came to a conclusion and didn’t like what it saw. 

But what did she see? What did her sixth sense pick up on that she just couldn't understand? 

What. Was. Wrong?

As soon as her horse made it into the camp, she slid off the animal before she’d come to a full stop and stared off into the distance behind them both.

Her eyes trailed over the path she took, and waited for something to happen. But after all that, nothing did happen and as far as she knew nothing was going to happen. All she could hear were the voices of her fellow camp mates and the occasional animal calls. 

She blinked a few times before shaking her head and walking off towards the center of camp. Y/N hadn’t realized it but her brain sent her straight to Arthur’s tent where he sat on his cot, jotting down something in his journal. 

He immediately heard her steps making a b-line for him, and the moment he noticed it was Y/N he smiled but it quickly faded when he saw the expression on her face. “Darlin’?”

She wasted no time in plopping herself onto his lap and curling into his chest, face tucked to his neck. 

The sudden display of seeming affection nearly caused Arthur to drop his journal onto the ground, so he quickly tossed it to his cot. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” 

She quickly wrapped her arms around his neck to pull herself even closer to him, making Arthur let out a slight grunt as she held onto him tightly. 

Instead of trying to further prod her into speaking, Arthur chose to settle his hands on the small of her back to keep her steady against him. And he continued to hold her for several minutes, feeling her muscles relax as time went on. 

“Did something happen?” He whispered between the two of them. 

Y/N took a deep breath before finally lifting her head to gaze up at him, eyes shining with tears. “Sort of.” 

“What do you mean?” 

She shrugged, finding it difficult to find the words because now that she knew she was safe with Arthur she felt a little silly for reacting like this. “I..was on my way to Strawberry earlier today, because I heard they had these new steel pens, and on my way there, this man came along shouting that he needed help.” 

Arthur began softly rubbing his thumb on a non-specific spot on her back as she spoke to quell the worries that plagued her. 

“Said he fell off his horse and hurt his leg, asked if I could give him a ride back to town. At first I wasn’t too keen on the idea but I felt guilty if I just left him stranded, so I let him hop on the back of Maple. I didn’t think much of it, but Maple started acting funny.” Y/N mentioned, lips pulling together in a frown. 

“How do ya mean, what’d she do?” Arthur asked in the silence between them as Y/N paused. 

Y/N let out a little huff, dipping herself further into him. “She was fussing about, making noises, pawing at the ground, stuff like that. Most things don’t bother her and since the man didn’t look all that threatening I thought maybe she was tired.” 

Arthur quietly nodded, waiting for her to continue with her story. “He kept going on about how he had no sense of direction and that his mother taught him everything he knew and for some reason, he mentioned how pretty she was. Said, it was what he remembered about her the most.”

“Then what?”

He could see the unease swimming in her eyes just by looking as she recounted what happened only a few hours ago. 

“Then he leaned in real close, and whispered into my ear: ‘I think you are the prettiest thing I ever did see.’” 

Immediately, Arthur’s stomach dropped while suppressing a cold shiver from crawling up his spine at the implication behind those words. 

Even though he hadn’t witnessed it, he couldn’t help the disgust rippling through him. Far too many times had he heard of the awful things done to women in saloons or back alleys where no one paid attention; far too many times he had seen the attempts men made at them when they thought there was no one around. The gunslinger in him would flourish with a rage at the idea of a man harassing some poor woman minding her own business, and promptly beat them within an inch of their lives for the simple fact that it was exactly what they deserved. And that was for women he didn’t know, now imagine what he’d do for the woman he loved, the woman he secretly promised his life to. 

God help any man who threatens her. 

“Did he do anythin’ else to you?”

Y/N quickly shook her head, leaning back into him again. “No, he just hopped off and walked away like nothin’ happened. And when he was walking away I noticed that his leg was working perfectly fine so he wasn’t even hurt to begin with.” 

Arthur let out a contemplative sigh, hands moving once more to create invisible in her skin. “I’m sorry, darling. There are some real bastards out there.” 

All Y/N did was nod, choosing then to sit quietly on Arthur’s lap, not uttering anymore words for a while. They spent several moments basking in each other’s presence as each ruminated on their thoughts. 

“Would it be alright if I sleep in your tent tonight?” Y/N asked promptly. 

Before Arthur said anything, she continued. “I know that it’s a bit sudden and we’ve never slept in a cot together but I really don’t want to be alone. And you make me feel safe.” 

His heart thumped with affection, giving her back a few pats and pressing a kiss to her hair. “I appreciate that, darling and of course, you can stay with me. I wouldn’t mind at all.”

“Thank you.” 

Arthur rocked her back and forth a few times when he spoke again. “Though, I can’t promise you’ll get a good night’s rest sleeping next to a big ol’ idiot like me.”

“Don’t you go saying nothing like that. It’s not true.”Y/N pouted, sticking her arm out to point him in the side where she knew he was sensitive and based on the way he tensed under her hand, she knew she got him good.

“Ah-alright, darling, I won’t go saying anything like that.” 

She poked him one more time causing him to reach down to quickly stop her, glancing down to see her bottom lip jutted out like a child’s. “You better not.”

With that, the rest of the evening carried on as normal with the exception of Y/N sleeping next to Arthur that night. Well, more like on top of him considering how small his cot truly was, but she didn’t mind in fact, Y/N liked that they got to be so close in such a vulnerable position. It was also thanks to the unexpected development that she managed to wake up the next morning with a calmness. 

And when Dutch had come to her once she was awake and walking around about a possible job, she didn’t feel the least bit worried. However when Arthur stated he was tagging along, she didn’t try to dispute it instead was thankful for his presence. 

On the ride to the nearest town, they chatted about this and that, the worry that plagued her long forgotten even as night fell and came the final decision for the night. 

“Are you sure, sweetheart?” 

Y/N nodded. “Yeah I’m sure, I’m feeling better today so I think I’ll be alright sleeping in my tent tonight.”

Arthur nodded silently to himself for a few seconds. “Alright then, but if you change your mind you’ll know where to find me.”

Promptly after, Arthur returned to his own tent for the night leaving Y/N to her’s. She stayed up for quite a while almost until the campfire outside had dwindled to small flickers of light and everyone else was asleep. This was a normal occurrence as she was a bit of a night owl but eventually she too became drowsy and without hesitation, laid out across her bed roll. 

Her eyes drifted to the ceiling of the canvas house, thinking on the events of the day where nothing particularly interesting happened and then, she fell asleep. 

________

A harsh pressure being pressed tightly against her neck is what woke her from her slumber. Her eyes quickly popped open, scrambling to fight off whatever was choking her in the dead of night. 

But the grip was too strong, no matter how hard she tried to peel away what she figured was someone’s arm, she couldn’t loosen the hold. 

Who was this person? What did they want? 

The darkness slowly started to creep in on her vision as she began to feel light headed and just before she passed out, she heard a familiar voice.

“You really are the prettiest thing.”

Off in the distance, Charles stood on night duty. These shifts were never entertaining but he supposed that was a good thing especially when you run with a gang of outlaws; himself included. 

Charles walked back up the path a bit, towards camp just to see if anything was amiss. He hadn’t noticed anything in the forest surrounding the camp, however when his eyes drifted over to the horses, it piqued his curiosity. 

Most of them seemed…antsy, like something spooked them. 

Already alarm bells were going off in his mind so he grabbed a lantern from the center of camp and began to walk along the numerous tents creating a semi circle around one firepit. He made his rounds first over to Lenny’s tent, seeing he was fine then to Abigail and Jack’s, then to Sean’s and up until he reached Y/N’s which sat between Sean and the other girl’s tent. 

He wasn’t sure what made him stop but his instincts screamed at him to take a closer look, something was off. 

Silently, Charles apologized to Y/N for the ill manners of barging in and pulled back the front flap of the tent only to see Y/N missing and the entire backside canvas cut completely in half. He stepped inside of the tent, hurrying out the back to discover drag marks and footprints that were far too big to be Y/N’s. 

Immediately he understood. 

Charles ran out of the tent out into the middle of camp, shouting for everyone to get up while making a b-line to Arthur. From the shouting, Arthur had already begun to stir. 

“Arthur, Y/N’s gone.” Charles stated matter of factly. 

The words went in one ear and out the other. Arthur, for a moment, thought he wasn’t even speaking english. “What?”

“Y/N’s gone, she’s not in her tent. Someone ripped open the back, and now she’s gone.” Charles explained with a sense of urgency. 

Now Arthur was awake, and as soon as the words settled in, he thought back to what Y/N had said the day before. 

“He kept going on about how he had no sense of direction and that his mother taught him everything he knew and for some reason, he mentioned how pretty she was.”

Arthur jumped up from his cot, running back to where Y/N’s tent lay now undisturbed, and nearly toppled the whole thing over when he pushed his way inside. 

“Then he leaned in real close, and whispered into my ear: ‘I think you are the prettiest thing I ever did see.’” 

He saw what Charles was talking about, not only was the entire back wall of the canvas material cut in half, the items inside the tent had been thrashed around as if someone had put up a fight along with tracks in the dirt leading outside into the trees. 

Y/N had been taken.

________

a/n: ran out of time so I had to break this into two parts, sorry ya'll! I'll try to be better about this in the future.

[ariseur]

hi! may i req how cloud strife or maybe all ffvii men (if u want!) deal with a jealous reader? i saw ur jealousy hc's for them and it was sososo amazinf i love all of ur works sm !!! <33

# the color green 、 ffvii

✧˖*°࿐ featuring ; cloud strife, zack fair, reno, sephiroth, angeal hewley, genesis rhapsodos,

✧˖*°࿐ warnings ; sfw, established relationship, gender neutral reader, intended lowercase, individual characters — not grouped together/polyamorous, jealousy (obviously), genesis being a diva as per usual, zack calling u pretty, post nibelheim seph being lowkey manipulative and dismissive, lmk if i missed anything ^.^!!

✧˖*°࿐ note ; i’ve been meaning to get to this request but it’s been sitting in my inbox for a while (*´-`). . i did have fun making this though!! i forgot how nice it feels to make headcanons and include everybody lol. (and yes i know every headcanon post i make i change formats shh. . ) please request more!! i love them!!

- cloud strife, as clever as he can be, can also have his moments of density — people will flirt with him and it’ll fly right over his head sometimes. it’ll either be that, or he won’t know what to do in response, and will instead blurt out whatever response pops into his head at the moment.

- he’s not a bad looking guy (far from it actually), and he gets a fair amount of attention from women so i wouldn’t blame you for maybe getting a tad bit jealous . . . but i assure you that there’s no need to feel jealous with cloud; and he’ll let you know, too!

- when he realizes you’re jealous (whether that’s because you told him or because he somehow by some miracle notices), he’s so?? confused?? what do you care if she was flirting with him? isn’t it common sense that he’s only got eyes for you?

- it’ll probably come off a lot more curt and maybe even a little sassy with the way he responds, but it’s just because he doesn’t get it. cloud honestly does not care if somebody were to hit on him because at the end of the day, he comes back home to you — like a cat finding its way back on your windowsill, occasionally pawing at the glass for you to let him in.

- it’s even crazier if someone were to touch him because he’d just shrug them off. kinda like how when jessie hugged him at the end of that one mission in ffvii remake? “are you really that desperate?” as he’s trying to push her off him lol. cloud is kinda touch evasive as it is with most people, so it’d just be an uncomfortable situation all around for all parties.

- if you guys were to have a conversation, he’d definitely be pretty concise and short with it — that or he’ll unnecessarily go on a little awkward tangent as he kind of word vomits, but he essentially repeats the same thing; maybe throw in a huff of an ‘i love you’ in there somewhere. .

- (don’t think much of it, it’s not like i’ll do this every time, he says — as he’s pulling you in closer for a hug while his hand comes up to rest at the back of your head.)

ᯓ ᢉ𐭩. . .

- ever the restless puppy, zack fair. another one you most certainly won’t have to worry about! zack is, like cloud, very loyal and only has eyes for you. the only difference between them is that zack’s no tsundere and he’ll gladly admit that he only loves you!

- you can’t blame people for possibly flirting with soldier boy over here, he’s practically perfect — but with the opportunity that you get a little jealous, zack has no problem reassuring you.

- he might be a little oblivious though, like cloud at times. if it’s not as direct then he’ll simply view it as innocent, only because he’s head heels for you! you might have to tell him that it makes you uncomfortable to get his attention on the matter. he’ll apologize profusely for not realizing sooner, kisses scattered all around your face as you try to tell him it’s okay but he just won’t let up (￣▽￣). .

- he’s not above a liiiitle teasing though. . might take advantage of the situation and throw in a little playful tease about how much you love him, but it’s all in good fun — paired with him wrapping his arm around you and a boyish grin thrown your way.

- zack is so adorable, if somebody were to ever say, “your partner must be so lucky to have a guy like you at home,” in attempts to maybe fish out a confession that he’s (hopefully) single, he actually does not get it and will genuinely go on an hour long rant about how he’s so lucky to have you.

- (yes, he’ll even bust out photos of you that he carries on him and go, ‘yeah! that’s them! aren’t they so pretty?’)

- he’s also not above telling somebody off if they just can’t take a hint. he’ll start off with a little “i’m taken!” and a small laugh to lighten it up. but if they keep going then he’ll just hit them with a short, “not interested,” and move on with his day. god forbid anybody touch him either, he’d be so weirded out and would gag at the thought all day long.

ᯓ ᢉ𐭩. . .

- reno’s a nightmare if you’re ever jealous — only because he thinks it’s so cute that you get all fired up over people having the hots for him (even though. . he’s like such a dork lmfao), so he can’t help himself when he teases you, poking fun at the way you smack his hand away when he tries to point out the way you sulk in the corner at his quips.

- another one who doesn’t really understand it, since he’s obviously so in love with you. . . albeit, he’s obviously not above making a few harmless jokes at it.

- reno’s so sassy i honestly believe that he has the potential to make someone cry with how dismissive he is; like if anybody would touch him, he’d honestly just shrug them off or smack their hand away and cross his arms. he’s not one to have big reactions to these sort of things, but even if you didn’t tell him you were jealous, wtf are they touching him for??

- i don’t really see him trying to make you jealous to get a reaction though, reno feels smug enough knowing that you care about him so much.

- at first it might give him a little ego boost if it’s just a little praise or two — but honestly, i can imagine him actually being disgusted if someone were to make such bold advances towards him 😭 like touching him, complimenting him or his techniques, and he’ll honestly just make a face and walk away.

- he will admit though, he does think it’d be pretty hot if you confronted the person yourself.

- so annoying in the aftermath though. ‘i’ve gotta say — green’s a pretty nice color on you’ as he’s over here wrapping his arms around your waist while you curse him and try to push him away. he’s so irritating but i just wanna smooch him so bad.

ᯓ ᢉ𐭩. . .

- sephiroth is ultimately very amused with this, regardless of pre or post nibelheim — and his reactions might be a little frustrating because he’s literally just staring at you with a small smirk on his face as you try to talk to him. but, he’s definitely not something to worry about either!

- a gorgeous man who has a famed reputation, i don’t blame you for getting jealous; especially since he has a whole fanclub and doesn’t get to spend a lot of time with you during the week.

- he obviously knows what these fans are doing, he’s not oblivious to their flirtations but he just ignores them most of the time. you, most likely, pay more attention to them as they fawning over him on the online forums or are crowding and recognizing him when he goes places.

- however, seph’s pretty observant so he’ll notice when you’re jealous or feel uncomfortable. he’ll lean over and ask if you wanna go someplace else, somewhere quieter. at the end of the day, you handle it how you want to handle it and he’ll respect that — whether you confront the person / people or whether you decide to just talk to him about it.

- however, he’s not really one for a pleasure in public appearances so i don’t see him like walking with you or any sort of pda where everybody can see though. maybe he’s caught on camera walking over to you or something. . but other than that, he prefers to keep your love a little private for the sake of intimacy. why does your love need to be televised just to prove it? he may be a little awkward at times but he can show you he loves you any other day of the week.

- and with post-nibelheim seph. . i don’t think there’s any opportunities to be jealous sorry （ ; ; ). during this time, he has a very close eye on you and when you’re not with him, he’s always with you or around you in some way or form.

- with the possibility that you are, he’ll simply assure you that your worries are silly. a little dismissive but he tries to mean well. overall though (no matter what time period this is in), sephiroth will always reassure you that he’s yours and there’s nothing to worry about. nothing could come in the way between him and you ^3^

ᯓ ᢉ𐭩. . .

- angeal hewley is actually such husband material i need to marry him so bad. he’s like the person you have to worry the least about, i can’t even see you getting jealous over him only because this man knows all the right words on how to make you feel so loved.

- but alas, these are jealousy headcanons, are they not? so!! on the off case that you are indeed jealous because somebody’s flirting with angeal, i’m sure he notice fairly quick because like sephiroth; he’s very observant when it comes to you.

- for a man who won’t hesitate to make you breakfast and kiss you goodbye before long missions every single time, i’d expect nothing less. he’d ask you what’s wrong and he’d insist that the two of you talk about it — whether it’s because of people or just because of how little off time he can spend with you considering he’s a first class and all. . .

- although he doesn’t get as much attention as sephiroth or genesis with the fan clubs and forums, i’m sure there are some people who’d still be interested and attempt at flirting with him or invading his boundaries — to which he’d always respectfully decline and instead shift the attention to how he has you, his loving partner.

- he, too, is a little awkward when it comes to this stuff and verbal reassurance, but he doesn’t like for you to bottle things up and would always assure you that you can tell him about anything on your mind.

- if it’s work related, then he’d try his hardest to finish up all of his work and ask lazar if he can take a day off or two. . which will essentially be angeal’s only day(s) off for a while considering all the stuff he has to do as a SOLDIER, sorry :(

- he always comes home to you with praises after these conversations, though!! it’s engraved into his mind and he’s always conscious of it every interaction he has with you, wondering how he could slip something in there that’d wriggle into the grooves of your brain . . telling you that he does appreciate the things you do for him, and that he’s absolutely whipped for you . .

- (it’s a 50/50 thing though, he’ll either be very mature and sophisticated with his words or he’ll struggle with wording it and be a tad bit awkward lol)

ᯓ ᢉ𐭩. . .

- you thought reno was bad? wait til you see the absolute FIEND that genesis rhapsodos becomes.

- genesis, being the drama queen that he ultimately is, will unfortunately be as irritating as he can be when it comes to getting you riled up over him. it swells his ego a little too much and he will most definitely tease you about it (-.-;). . .

- we all know how many fangirls he has, and he’s all very flattered by the attention but he doesn’t really acknowledge them all that much once he’s in a relationship with you! he’s very much in love with you and even if he’s a little theatrical and cliché about it, he does genuinely care for you.

- but. . if he found out that you’re getting all jealous over some fangirls then he might just use that as a clutch to get you even more jealous.

- like reno, he also finds you very attractive when you’re jealous and while i love the man, he’s definitely the type of person to film a girl fight in the middle of public. he might even flirt back with someone to get you to do something about it (like the absolute menace he is).

- once it genuinely upsets you though, he’ll back off and confront you about it — in a much more gentle or overall better way than before. ooh, if he makes you cry or fight with him then he won’t stop beating himself up about it though. . which is a little silly considering how he started it in the first place.

- he’ll find you later, sitting next to you in a silence that overtakes the room — perhaps to you, it’s awkward, but to him, it’s pleasing. he might recite something he’s written for you or simply just say that he’s sorry, that he does care for you and would like you to care for him too. (it’s up to you whether you want to punch him or kiss him, idk both options look pretty good to me).

- genesis you beautiful man you, why must you be so frustrating sometimes.

𐙚 requests are open — february twenty-third, 2025

𐙚 comment to be added to taglist ; @xiansiii @alieeelinn @ch3rryfiles @snoopicle

[beartitled]

Found your art through the STP Reddit and now I have a new TSPUD artist to enjoy!!! Your style is gorgeous :)

Reddit 🤨❔

I don’t have reddit

*sounds of paws tapping on the keyboard*

Aha repost with no permission I see? 🔍🐻‍❄️👓

This ask actually send me on a mini research lmao

I didn’t expect to see like 4 posts on Reddit with ppl posting my comics/sending a screenshot from ?Pinterest? and asking who the author is

That made me chuckle :'D

To be clear, I don’t really mind reposts if a person credits me

Always appreciate ppl askin permission 👍

For the reference: Reblog - a button that looks like this 🔄, shares a post on your page while showing the original author; Repost - when you screenshot/save someone’s art and post it on your page (ideally with credit, but if you’re a meanie you will just post images with no word about og author); Credit - a reference to the author «this art was made by [@author] on [this social media]». Sometimes see ppl mixing up terms 🫡

(Most of the time creators dislike reposts, bc it often leads to art theft)

Since we’re on the topic, specifically what I do have a problem with:

- Don’t use my art for AI training or for NFTs

- Don’t profit off my art (no merch is allowed without my approval, if you want to use my art for commercial purposes, this must be discussed with me in advance)

- Don't pass off my work as your own (here does reposting my art without credit, creating blogs/accounts impersonating me and so on)

- Don’t use my personal projects (this applies to my ocs, any original IPs/content I create: picture books, comics, artbooks, megadrawings etc. At some point in the future I may register a legal copyright for them btw.)

I’m more flexible and forgiving with fandom art, but still would appreciate ppl communicating with me. Fandom comic dubs - are welcomed, just be sure to credit me (tag me and share the final dub too man, I’m always interested). Fandom comic translations - ask permission first please.

This list is a pretty standard for any artist really, if you’re doubting something - feel free to ask 👍

If you see somebody breaking those/potentially breaking those - feel free to notify me 👍

I considered creating “blog rules” or “list of boundaries”, but I’m not sure if it’ll work on my blog 🤔 My header is pretty oversaturated as it is - portfolio, tags, navigation and so on; if I add rules to the pile, something tells me ppl won’t even look at it 💥 + I didn’t have specific issues with anyone yet (as far as I’m aware), I might create a list if something happens, but stayin hopeful for now

There’s certain things that do make me very uncomfortable/are triggering to me. But again didn’t have any specific issues where it was a huge problem + those stuff are highly personal to me to just put publicly. For now, I prefer to resolve issues personally, there wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle at this point 🫡 Mayhaps in the future it may change, we’ll see

Also some might have noticed that I don’t use any watermarks/signatures on my art, again considered that, but never ended up implementing that 🐻‍❄️ Some part of me just likes lookin at pictures in full HD quality with no watermark 😭 (I have an art signature, but I mostly use it in my mega drawings or if someone specifically asked for a commission lmao)

Sorry for a wall of text on such a sweet ask 💥 Just saw an opportunity to talk and took it lmao

Thank you, I really appreciate your words ❤️💕

Made a doödle of the narrator bois for the old time sake :D

Surprisingly there is a bunch of reposts of my art, with is a bit wild to me (you guys actually like my comics? 🤨 what? 🤨)

Especially never imagined my voices x princesses would get so popular 💥

Oh I see you went under read-more

Come closer

Closer

Just a smol step more

I forgot to draw Smitten’s brows in this specific frame

Now you will never unsee it 😈😈😈

*tiny mischievous bear giggling*

[idontmindifuforgetme]

Something you've learned this year?

Never force connection. Probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned this year. This doesn’t mean leaving it to the other person to make all the moves, but if something isn’t clicking after you’ve tried to make it click more than once, it’s probably time to let it go. Doesn’t matter what the reasons are—if it’s not working, it’s not working.

Don’t be anxious about something twice. If you don’t have actual proof as to the existence of a problem, you’re better off giving it the benefit of the doubt until you’re absolutely proven otherwise.

Your worth does not shift with other people’s opinions of you. The biggest act of resistance against that mentality is continuing to take care of & love yourself even if other people might perceive you unfavorably at times.

The scarcity mindset is bs. There are 8 billion people out there and just as many opportunities to take on. There’s always something out there if one pursuit doesn’t work out.

Piggybacking off that point: rejection is redirection. Better switch gears than waste time on a relationship / opportunity / just whatever wasn’t meant for you.

There’s a difference between being the first option and just being the available one. Someone’s attention doesn’t automatically mean they’re actually into you—sometimes you’re just right there & they have nothing better to do.

Striving for romance isn’t bad, but it should never be the goal. It’s definitely a nice thing to experience, but tbh the one cliche I’ve learned to be true over and over again is that self love does really eclipse all else. Obsessing over somebody else 24/7 isn’t as cute as the books make it seem to be.

Being an excessive people pleaser does not make people like you more. It just makes them like the advantages that come with befriending someone who has no boundaries.

Cry it out. Write about it. Take some deep breaths. Then make that tough decision. Allow yourself to process something before you act on it. There are some situations that really do prove to be time sensitive, but 9/10 times it probably would’ve served you more to just think it over first.

You can provide for yourself what you wish another person would’ve provided for you. Buy yourself flowers; write yourself a love letter that you could look back on in ten years; take yourself on a luxurious date. While it’s undeniably nice to have these gestures made for you by someone else, ultimately they hold no less weight coming from you to yourself.

Work on your composure in stressful situations. Emotional suppression is never great, but being unable to control your reaction under pressure can be disastrous if not curtailed. (To that end, be able to put on a good poker face when need be.)

Pick and choose who you put time into. Being capable of giving is crucial, but it doesn’t amount to much if you can’t determine early on who’s worth giving to and who isn’t. Neither our energy nor our time is infinite; they have to be used wisely.