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awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands · 3 years

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I love you in every language of the world, but English ( Nikki x Tommy)

A/N: All of this was born from a conversation between me and @witchy-tombstone-smile so a big thank you to this person to be my delirious italian partner in crime!

Summary: Nikki can speak Italian, Tommy can speak Greek but they can’t do one thing: say I love you to each other in English! ( plus Vince calling Mick a bruja)

He was a fucking idiot! What was he thinking?

He was drunk! However, that was not the problem, being drunk and alone with Tommy Lee were the issue there. Look he was Nikki Sixx, he built his reputation on being drunk or high, so he wasn’t worry about being wasted per se, neither he was worried about the dumb shit he could have done because he and Tommy were Terror Twins for a reason, not doing weird shit together would have been the issue… he’s referring to the sappy shit he does whenever his defenses are down.

Such things include randomly hugging Tommy, telling him how much of a good friend he is, yanking him off girls to do crazy shits together and his “favorite” telling Tommy sappy stuff in Italian. He has lost count of how many times he used pets name in Italian without the drummer understood it.

However, now it was much worse because they were alone and Tommy looked so fucking beautiful under the stars with his ever present smile and glossy brown eyes, he wasn’t a romantic type but the other guy changed all his prospective, he didn’t even realize he could like a guy before he knew him.

“C’mon Nikki! Tell me something in Italian, pleaseeee!” Tommy slurred, giggling.

Fuck why he was so adorable when he was an absolute walking idiot?

The bassist knew Italian because his father had Italian origins and he hoped that learning it would have meant connecting to him… yeah it was before he discovered he was an asshole. What a fucking dumbass he was when he was younger! At least he had the opportunity to meet some amazing Italian-American folks while he was a runaway, so jokes on his dad because the chicks really dig dirty talk in another language.

Tommy loved the fact that he was bilingual, well technically so was the drummer, but he thought his Greek was quire rusty, and he constantly nudged him to say something because “you sound so cool mate! I wish I could speak my Greek that smoothly too.”

He looked the drummer into the eyes, he was always so fucking excited for everything and that only made Nikki feeling even more for him, fuck if only he had the cuts to tell him how he really felt. He wasn’t a coward simply he knew he could never be with Tommy without major consequences, however that doesn’t mean it hurt any less.

“Ti amo idiota.(I love you idiot)” The words left his mouth before he could stop them… fuck, fuck, fuck!!!

“Mh… what does that mean?” Tommy asked confused but with his silly drunk smile.

Great now he was panicking because how he was supposed to tell him that he just admitted to be in love with him?

“It means you are an idiot.” It was such a lame answer but hopefully Tommy was too naïve and drunk to care.

“Oh… then ti amo idiota, too Nikki.” Tommy giggled, but Nikki felt his stomach drop. It felt like the universe was taunting him by having his wonderful Tommy saying I love you to him without even knowing it or meaning it!

He started to feel emotional and fuck was not the alcohol supposed to help with that? It was just so fucking unfair that he was in love with the drummer but they could never be together, no holding hands or kissing or any other sappy bullshit.

Tears were forming at the corners of his eyes and he knew he had to go or otherwise he would have shown his vulnerability and he fucking hated that, he needed to drink so he stood up and quickly followed him.

“Ti amo idiota.” He repeated with a laugh and Nikki wanted to fucking die.

He needed a drink. Now!

- - -

Tommy woke up in Nikki’s room. It wasn’t unusual for the Twins to fall asleep in each other’s rooms when they were too drunk to reach their own, so usually one of them would pass out on the floor and now was Tommy’s turn.

He couldn’t help but staring the bassist who was sleeping on the bed, he was head over heels for him but he would never admit it. Sure he was all love all the time but with Nikki it was different, he meant too much to him to potentially ruin everything by confessing his crush, so instead he was rotting into this unrequited love pain that made him jealous and angry.

Why couldn’t he be just like his parents that fell in love as soon as they met each other? No he had to suffer. They didn’t even speak the same language and they manage to get married meanwhile he knew Nikki for a while now but couldn’t have found the courage to tell him the truth. Sure he wouldn’t give up but he wasn’t sure how long he could still resist.

However, something else was on his mind too, Nikki seemed acting weird all the previous night, especially after he asked to him to say something in Italian. It’s like his eyes dimmed for a moment after he said that to him, could it be because speaking in Italian reminds him of his dad? It didn’t seem like that, there must be something else going on for sure, but what?

Tommy knew a thing or two about using another language to say stuff you don’t have the guts to say in English… It’s not like he wrote silly nicknames in Greek for Nikki whenever he had to leave a note for him about buying stuff or that he went outside. Sometimes Nikki asked what it meant and Tommy would always say an insult.

“Oh, it means you are a dumbass!”

He heard someone stirring and soon enough Nikki was staring at him with his eyes half open.

“Fuck my head hurts so bad” His raspy voice was too much for the poor Tommy who quickly decided to go grabbing some painkillers for both of them, anything to prevent having a fucking boner, but when he entered back the room he saw Nikki with his eyes closed again. He looked at his relaxed face and black hair, which did not hide his eyes like it usually would be and he could not help whispering something to him.

“σ' αγαπάω Nikki” (I love you Nikki). He learned that from his mom since she constantly told his dad how much she loved him.

However, Nikki was not asleep and Tommy’s whisper was not as quiet as he thought because he saw the black haired man turning toward him.

“What did you say?”

Panic. Tommy wasn’t usually the type that gets easily scared but right now his brain decided to shut down, leaving him unable to formulate any words. Fuck what he was supposed to say now? He wasn’t even sure if he remembered English at that moment!

“You are an idiot… it means that, ya know like you said to me yesterday.”

Nikki seemed hurt but he quickly shrugged it off and took the pills.

“Fuck you T-Bone!” He scoffed, but then he let out a laugh.

There’s no way he could have held it for much longer. He was screwed, so fucking screwed.

---

Mick was sick and tired of watching the Twins being oblivious, they were obviously in love yet they seemed to be blind. It was getting frustrating because anyone could see Tommy’s love struck expression whenever Nikki wasn’t looking or how the bassist seemed to hate anyone but Tommy.

He suspected they used their languages to say stuff the other couldn’t understand and honestly he was sick of not understanding a fuck so he started to write down what they said and search it on the dictionary. What? He was sometimes bored and this situation seemed interesting, especially if it meant that the two idiots would have been finally together and that he could use this information against them.

“What are you doing Mars?” Vince looked at the older man curious, trying to understand what he was reading.

“I’m trying to translate whatever the Twins said to each other yesterday morning.” He said nonchalantly.

“Wait you know Greek and Italian? Don’t tell me you have been learning it just so you could understand them!”

“ Well I’m sick and tired to hear them saying shit and not understanding it, now they can’t fool me and I’ll know whatever they are saying how much they love the other or plotting to make the kitchen explode! However, especially I’m so over the fact that they can’t tell each other their true feelings” Mick said firmly.

“How are you going to make them confess though?” Vince looked both scared and confused.

“Well I will tell them what the other really meant!”

“You scare me man… bruja” Vince whispered the last part.

“Hey, do not call me a fucking witch!” Mick replied threatening.

“ YOU ARE DOING THE SAME WITH ME TOO?”

“No more fucking with me in Spanish, Malibu Barbie!”

---

Mick plan was simple: smacking them with the truth and making sure they wouldn’t run away, for that he instructed Vince to block the door at any cost.

“Nikki will try to escape so you must prevent that.”

“Why me Mars? Furthermore, how am I supposed to do that?” Vince asked confused.

“Well I know that you can fight and because if you do not do that I’ll tell Nikki what you say about him in Spanish when he doesn’t hear you.” The guitarist replied with a smile.

“Oh c’mon, that’s pure evil. You are the devil!”

Right at that moment, the front door opened and Nikki stepped in, soon followed by Tommy who looked like a puppy with heart eyes only for the older man.

“What are you doing Mick?” The drummer asked curious.

“Nothing much, I was reading stuff… did you know that “Ti amo” means I love you in Italian? Does not Nikki say that a lot?” Mick shot Vince’s a glare and Nikki’s eyes got huge as he understood what was going on, but before he could get out the blond quickly went to lock the door right before he could reach it.

Nikki looked like a caged animal, terrified yet ready to fight anyone, it scared him very bad because what if Tommy got angry or decided to end their friendship? What if they kicked him out of the band or they left him like anyone else in his life? Suddenly he felt so fucking angry with Vince for blocking the door because he needed to get out and escape all this situation! He couldn’t give any explanations

He was about to charge on Vince and knock him out of the way but Tommy’s voice cut through his train of thoughts.

“ Wait you told me that yesterday. Does this mean…” Tommy looked confused as fuck but before he could do anything Mick continued, adamant into making both boys suffer in misery.

“Also I discovered that I love you in Greek is written like this “σ' αγαπάω” He showed a piece of paper “ Which isn’t very similar to what Tommy always writes on his notes?”

Now it was Tommy’s turn to be absolutely shocked and scared as his eyes bolted anywhere but where Nikki was. It had to be a joke, right? They were playing with his feelings because they knew he loved Nikki and all of this was a big prank… unless it wasn’t. However, that would have been too good, even for a hopeless romantic like him, he needed to know the truth.

“Nikki… “ He stopped and Mick to take as the signal that they should have left the two boys alone, so he took a very interested Vince and pulled him away.

“They are right it means I love you, I couldn’t find the courage to tell you so I said it but in a way you wouldn’t understand. I love you Nikki, so much but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship…”

Tommy never felt afraid but at that moment he knew he could have lost everything from his band to his best friend, but also he knew he had to be the first one to speak otherwise Nikki would have never done it. The bassist still looked at the ground but he took a deep breath and he started talking.

“ Fuck Tommy I’ve liked you for as long as I can remember, but I was so fucking terrified you would never want to see me again if I told you my real feelings! I couldn’t lose you or the band so I just didn’t say it. You have no idea how many fucking time I just wanted to pick you and make you mine!"

His eyes were still glued down, but he forced himself to look at Tommy, noticing his big smile and how his eyes were lit up for joy. He couldn’t help but smile back because he looked absolutely gorgeous like that, little did he know that Tommy felt the same way about him, a smiling Nikki was a beautiful Nikki.

They stayed like this for a couple of seconds until Nikki felt something inside him and before his brain could stop him, he cupped Tommy’s face and kissed him on the lips. It wasn’t sweet but neither super heated, it was just a passionate kiss, one that held all the longing and promises they would make to each other. It was a kiss of hope and courage, and a kiss between two people who are not afraid anymore.

Tommy was the first to pull away but only because he wanted to hear Nikki say something.

“Can you say it again, please?”

“ Ti amo, idiota.” Nikki said with a smile. Saying I love you felt still very scary but this was different in a way, even if it was the same meaning. He was sure one day he would be able to say it in English too.

“ I love you too, idiot!” Tommy replied hugging the bassist.

“Wow how did you know that it would have worked?” Vince whispered, as he was totally not spying his friends kissing.

“Call it six sense.” Mick replied shrugging his shoulders.

“Bruja”

“I heard you, little blonde bitch.”

#nikki sixx #Tommy Lee #Vince Neil #Mick Mars #Motley Crue #80srock #80s rock band #fanfiction #fanfic #motley crue fanfiction #terrorcest #Nikki sixx x tommy lee

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ilguna · 3 years

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Anteric - Chapter Four (f.o)

summary: secrets have more worth than you gave them credit for.

warnings; swearing. GORE, HEAVY BLOOD, FIGHTING, PAIN.

wc; 10.3k

NOTES; I give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

There’s only a few people that can get ready without complaining. And proudly, you can say that you’re one of them. With Finnick, Thyme and Allio being the other three that had practically gone untouched from yesterday’s fights. Well, actually, Finnick did go untouched, but that’s for obvious reasons.

You watch the other initiates move around the dormitory, all varying in the ways they hold themselves because of their injuries. Amos’ face is swollen, thanks to Thyme’s fists--which was split at her knuckles because of how spread out her skin had been. She didn’t find this out until after the fight, when Amos’ blood had been wiped off and she could see why her hands were stinging so badly.

Amos also has an arm wrapped around his ribs, where Thyme had kicked him. He’s been rotating ice packs since last night, so he’s got one pressed to his cheekbone right now. It looks like he might end up with a black eye by the end of the week. Too bad it won’t get any time to heal. All your injuries will just keep piling on until the physical stage of the initiation is over.

Finnick’s victim, Eytelle, does everything she can to avoid touching her jaw. Unlike Amos, it seems like she has some sort of pride about not using ice to make it feel better. Her face will occasionally twist when she opens her mouth to speak, so you’re happy to say that her smartass Candor mouth won’t be running today.

And finally, Trink is the worst out of everyone in the room. Even compared to Amos, who didn’t go down easily when he went up against Thyme, is better than her. Trink has been complaining about a headache in her temple since yesterday, and each time she brings it up, she’ll glare at you. You ignored it the first couple of times, but you went ahead and reminded her that she had a chance to give up, and she didn’t.

The only person missing from the dormitory today is Ossie, she didn’t come into the room last night before the lights were turned out. So, you’re going to take a good guess that she’s in the medical unit that they have here in Dauntless. If that’s the case, you’re nota ll that surprised, there’s no way that she should be authorized to come back into the ring if she’s seriously hurt.

However, if she doesn’t recover soon, she’ll end up being cut. Caspian won’t exempt her from the rankings, because it’s not fair if he does. To someone else, it’d be unfair because she can’t control how fast her healing process is. If she jumps right back into it, she risks injuring herself even more, which could then make a permanent problem. But, it’s perfectly fair. She couldn’t defend herself inside of the arena, therefore she needs to step up her game.

Or she’s not cut out to be in Dauntless.

It’s a ruthless faction for a reason.

The aptitude test can tell you what faction you’re made for, but when you’re face to face with other initiates that fit the requirements better, suddenly you don’t measure up. You’d like to say that at some point, Dauntless wasn’t always like this, and they didn’t cut most of the initiates like they do now. But something changed, which then prompted for Dauntless to become a harder faction to get into.

And it makes perfect sense, at least to you. Dauntless is supposed to be the police, security, the ones who watch the wall and what may be on the outside. Dauntless is the army that would be called on if it were needed. There’s a saying that every army is as strong as their weakest link. And in Dauntless, no one is supposed to be weak. They want to eliminate that problem, so initiation continues to get harder to only allow in the persistent initiates. The ones that can handle Dauntless.

Anyway, if Ossie isn’t careful, she’ll be the first of the four to be cut in the first stage. You’re not sure how long the first stage lasts, or how many fights you have to cycle through before you’re finally over, but she’ll need a comeback. Just like everyone else who lost their first match. Otherwise, they’re just going to find themselves factions. Which, in a way, would probably be a better option than running themselves into the ground. At least then they’d have a chance at living.

For them, being factionless may always be an option. But you think that you’d rather die trying to get into Dauntless than live with the shame of being factionless because you couldn’t make it. And since Abnegation has a reputation for welcoming former members back in, you think it would be even worse. Crawling to Reed’s doorstep and begging for forgiveness.

Knowing Reed, he’d probably turn you down.

Thyme jumps into her black jeans, shifting from foot to foot to make sure that they’re up all the way. You can vaguely see Finnick in the bathroom, leaned over a sink while he brushes his teeth. You’d be getting ready with them, but you had an early start this morning. Mostly because after you woke up the first time to roll over, yesterday’s question about your family made itself known.

And then, as the hours drew on and your mind wandered, you sank deeper into your mattress when you realized that your words can have consequences. You are not untouchable here in Dauntless, and Caspian is in a position of power. He can retaliate if he wants, sabotage your stages to make it harder for you to pass. And he’s going to feel more inclined to, now that you’ve accused him of still being attached to Abnegation. Especially since you did it right in front of Laurel.

You may be his ex-best friend’s little sister, but he never had an attachment to you. To him, you’re expendable, he’s got other initiates that he can really pour his focus into. And being one of those people is Finnick, who showed great significance yesterday. He has fighting experience, which means that he should be in some sort of advanced class. He’s already better than the rest of you.

For now, at least. We’ll see how well he keeps up during the emotional and mental stages of initiation.

Thyme sits down on her bottom bunk, beginning to tie her shoes. Finnick comes out of the bathroom, fully dressed and running a hand through his hair. On the way out of the dormitory is Amos, his shoulders are hunched in and he’s still holding the ice pack to his cheek. The more he collapses in on himself, the smaller he seems. And since he’s not very tall to begin with, the last thing he needs is to appear less threatening.

“Ready to go to the training room?” you swing your feet, watching as Finnick continues to fix his hair, standing off to the side.

“Wish we had enough time for breakfast.” Thyme mutters, she yanks her laces tight, “I also wish we didn’t have to fight first thing in the morning.”

“It’s a good way to wake up.” Finnick says.

“You just want to fight.”

You try to kick near his head, he dodges, grabbing a hold of your ankle, “I was actually hoping I’d get to fight you.”

You stare at him, “Why?”

He lets go of your foot, giving you a shrug, “I’m just curious how you’ll hold up against me.”

You mock a smile, “Well, let’s just hope I end up with you, then.”

If you were put in the ring with Finnick, you wouldn’t come out as the winner. Not only does he have more experience, he has a height advantage, he’s unpredictable. You’ve spent several years of your life watching him fight other teenagers, and there’s only been a couple of times where you’ve been able to predict his next move. The most you’ve figured out is that he likes his fights over with as soon as they begin. Which is as dangerous as dangerous can get.

Thyme stands up, so you slip off the top bunk, landing on your feet. Thyme leads the way out of the dorm, you and Finnick elbow each other back and forth on the way out. When you pass in front of Trink, Allio and Eytelle, they momentarily fall silent. As soon as you’re through the door, they resume speaking.

You might end up fighting one of them today, with the exception of Trink. If you’re lucky, it won’t be Eytelle, she’s got the same height advantage that Finnick does. If you’re extremely unlucky, you’ll end up with Allio, who hardly looked fazed at Ossie’s kick yesterday. And it looked like she put all her strength into it. So either she’s weak, like you originally thought she was, or Allio is a sponge.

Then again, you could always land yourself with Amos, Thyme or Finnick. Amos is shorter than you, much like Thyme. You think that you could easily take him on. As for Thyme, she might be more of a challenge, she did seem to give the fight her all when she needed it at the end. However, just like Eytelle and Finnick, you’ve got an advantage when it comes to height.

Honestly, you really hope that you aren’t paired with Thyme or Finnick at all. It’s an unrealistic hope, because there’s not enough people to be rotated around, so you’re going to be stuck with one of them eventually. But if it really came down to it, you’d rather take on Thyme than Finnick anyday.

“Tell us your predictions.” Finnick says. It sounds like a demand, but it’s actually a question.

You’re quiet for a moment as you all go through a stretch of darkness. The first match was predictable, Caspian would want to set you guys up against people that look like you guys to see where you measure. That’s why Finnick was placed with Eytelle, based on height. Thyme with Amos based on scrawniness. And Ossie and Allio because they had to be together in order for you and Trink to be in the ring together. However, you and Trink could have very well been placed together because of body weight and the way you carry yourselves, and Allio and Ossie were leftovers.

Needless to say, you were more or less right on the prediction. All you have to do this time is go off your gut feeling again, because that’s what happened last time.

You decide to hold your answer until you get to the next light source. Then, you three stop and stand around it, “Okay, Ossie wasn’t in the room last night, so I think that she’ll be sitting out. Since it’ll be uneven, I’m pretty sure one of us won’t be fighting.” You pause, you don��t think that it’ll be you or Finnick. It could be Thyme, but she was a winner, so they’d want to push her to see what she can do. A loser would sit out instead. Maybe Amos?

“I’m thinking that they’ll pair us with opposites today. And I don’t mean strength-wise.”

Finnick nods slowly, probably trying to decide who would be his opposite. Thyme massages her knuckles, eyebrows raising slightly. You can hear the faint echo of Trink, Allio and Eytelle in the background, and they do too. So, you all start walking again.

It’s quiet for the rest of the way. Finnick pushes open the set of the doors, holding it open for you and Thyme. Laurel and Caspian stand next to the chalkboard, standing in the way of the names. Amos stands by himself, hands shoved into his pockets. Ossie is by herself, a bandage around her head, arms crossed as she stares at the ground.

The three of you stand on the other side of the ring, opposite to where the chalkboard is, where you’d been yesterday. It gives you a clear view of Caspian, who raises his eyebrows faintly. Other than that, there’s no expression on his face. No hint that he might be angry after what you said to him yesterday.

You’ve never been afraid of Caspian, but when he burns in silence, is the time where fear begins to sprout in your stomach. The times where he doesn't have to look smug, are times where he’s set up something particularly hellish. You said that he’d pair you with your opposites, but you’ve failed to remember, again, that Caspian might be angry.

Allio and Ossie were leftovers last time, an exception to the idea you presented last time. Which means that he could very well have made a second one. It would make sense, not everyone can have an opposite. And the only person who can serve a real punishment to you, would be Finnick.

Your eyes peel away from Caspian to look at Finnick, who’s playing with his nose ring again, staring into space. He wouldn’t make you go against Finnick, it’s too predictable. You look back at Caspian to see that he’s got a small smirk on his face, the same one he wore after you won the fight against Trink yesterday. And you change your mind again, because when has Caspian ever cared about his motives being out in the open?

Trink, Allio and Eytelle make it into the room just as the clock hits eight. They decide to stay near the door today, so you go ahead and move left more. It’s just an open space between you and Amos, and since hatred hasn’t been expressed between you two, you don’t think it’ll hurt to be closer to him. Especially if it means to get away from the other three.

“Good morning.” Caspian says, “I see some of you are doing better than others.”

No one says anything back, he cracks a smile. He then waves a hand toward Laurel, signaling her to move out of the way. She side-steps, and reveals the pairing. There’s only three rows, which means you were right about someone sitting out.

“It’s uneven today, only six of you will be fighting. If your name’s not on the board, congrats, you get a break today.” Caspian says.

You read over the names.

Finnick and Thyme.

You and Allio.

Amos and Eytelle.

Ossie and Trink are sitting out today.

There’s a couple of things that come to mind immediately. The first is that the winners are paired together, and the losers are too. The second is that you’re not with Finnick, it’s Thyme who gets the misfortune of having to face him. You know that he’ll get it over with quickly, but Thyme is going to want to win the fight. She’s not going to take the loss.

A cruel thought spirals, nearly passing through your lips. Thyme will be the perfect opponent to ensure he keeps his streak. You don’t see her winning against him, which means he’ll bag two wins. And depending on whether or not you beat Allio today, you might too. In the end, you might have to end up facing Finnick.

You look over at your friends to see that they’re less than thrilled. Thyme is still staring at the chalkboard, as if it’s some mistake. And Finnick doesn’t look as excited as he did yesterday. He crosses his arms, but still reaches up to play with the nose ring with his thumb. It’s even worse because they’ll be going first today, they say nothing to each other.

And because you can’t help it, you go ahead and look at Allio, who’s already got a small grin on his face as he talks to his friends. You and him will be the second fight today. You wait for some type of fear to appear in your body, but there’s nothing. You were wrong on your theory. Allio isn’t as bad as Finnick. You have a chance at winning.

While you’re staring at Allio, you catch a glimpse of Trink, who looks relieved. So, you lean toward Finnick and Thyme, not trying to be quiet but trying to diffuse the growing tension between them. “They’re only letting her sit out because I beat her to shit.”

Eyes land on you, you pull back and stand straight again. Finnick lets out a laugh, Thyme has a smile on her face, “It’s like putting her into time out.”

You know that you will not face Trink again, there’s no reason to be afraid of her. The only people you’re worried about, are the two Candor idiots standing next to her. One of which you will face today.

“Finnick and Thyme!” Caspian calls, motioning to the ring, “Get to it.”

“Try not to kill each other.” You tell them, neither of them say anything.

Inside of the ring, they pick their spots opposite of each other. Finnick is the first to raise his hands, in perfect position. Thyme rolls her wrists once or twice before she raises hers. With them standing across from each other like this, she seems to have a chance. But when they’re standing next to each other, you have no hope for Thyme.

They shuffle in a circle, Thyme trying to find an opening. She won’t, not unless Finnick takes the first punch. And he might, if they continue to go around like this. A look to Caspian tells you that he’s getting impatient. They make a loop again, he clears his throat. Neither of them lunge at each other.

This won’t last for much longer. This is going against Finnick’s rule of making a fight quick. But he’s probably stalling so that he doesn’t have to hit her first. For a second, you think that he might let her win, since she’s a friend. Then you remember what he said to you fifteen minutes ago, his hope that you’ll be his opponent. Which transforms into the streak thought. He will not pass up this opportunity.

Finnick gets impatient, starting to move in on her. Thyme tries to keep backing up, trying to get away from him. In your hand, you chant for her to stop moving and let him make his move. Finnick wants it quick, he’ll aim for weak spots on her head. All she has to do is dodge the punch, and give it her all as fast as possible before moving out again.

She has to be like a wave of water.

Thyme hits the edge of the ring, Caspian briefly moves forward to shove her back in, “Fight!”

Thyme stumbles over her feet, drawing her too close to Finnick. He doesn’t wait for her to recover, swinging. You think Thyme sees, because she drops to her knees, avoiding the hit. She stops long enough to draw her arm back, fist aimed toward his shins. But then she hesitates, changing her move.

You watch her full-force uppercut Finnick’s crotch.

There’s a gasp from Finnick, face twisting as his hands grab the area. You press your lips together, covering your mouth. You shouldn’t laugh. Thyme gets back onto her feet, raising her fists again, the soft expression she had, has faded now. She brings her foot up, slamming it into his back.

Finnick’s hissing through his teeth, stumbling forward and trying to straighten himself out. He’s clearly in pain, and you can’t blame him. Thyme looked like a hard hitter yesterday, and Amos is the display case.

Finnick turns towards Thyme, cracking his neck, “See, I was going to go easy on you.” his face takes on the same scary look that he gave Eytelle, “But if you want to play dirty…”

Thyme beckons him closer without saying a word. Finnick heads closer. She’s aware of where the ring ends now, you can see her glance down every now and then to make sure she hasn’t backed out of it. But each time she looks away from Finnick, he jerks closer, until he’s right in front of her, and she doesn’t even realize it.

Her hands are protecting her face, so he aims for her stomach. This sends her stumbling back, standing on the white line. He tries to punch her again, she slips under his arm unharmed, and appears behind him. She goes to take advantage of this, but she’s too slow. Finnick spins around, and slams his foot into her ribs.

Just like that, Thyme hits the floor, eyes wide, hands on the spot he just kicked. She sucks in a breath, looking up at Finnick, who towers over her. She stares for a moment, and then her eyes flicker to his feet, and she tries to get moving. She’s just barely on her feet, going to slip under Finnick’s arm again, when he grabs a hold of the back of her shirt, yanking her towards him.

He’s quick to grab the neck of her shirt when he can, twisting his fist and lifting slightly to keep her from sliding out of her shirt. He draws his right hand back, tilts his head to the side, and goes to punch her face. She moves out of the way by a hair, eyes continuing to widen, following his fist. He goes to try again, and manages to graze her cheek.

Thyme winces, trying to squirm out of his grasp. And for one final time, he brings his hand back, and punches her jaw.

She hangs in the air, Finnick slowly lowers her back to her feet, and then wraps an arm around her body. He looks up at Caspian, who gives Finnick a nod before circling his name.

Finnick won, just like you thought he would.

Finnick half-carries, half-drags Thyme’s body out of the ring. He slowly lowers her to the floor, where she lays there for a minute or two, not waking up. But then her eyes pop open, and she blinks a couple of times, squinting.

She’s alive, which means it’s your turn to fight your life.

“(Y/n) and Allio!” Caspian calls.

Finnick gives you a pat on the back, “Good luck.”

You wish you could say you don’t need it.

You and Allio come from your respective groups. With you on the far left, and him on the right. From where you stand, Caspian is still in sight, and he has a smile on his face. There’s something that you’re not aware of.

You stretch your arms and legs, cracking your knuckles, tilting your head from side to side. Allio watches you with raised fists. You bounce from foot to foot, raising your own hands. You inhale and exhale, looking over his form.

The only movement he allows is moving in the circle, like you guys were taught to do. His face is straight, his hands are where they need to be. You sweep over his body over and over to find that there’s no openings. Which means that you need to create one without getting hit.

You made the first move yesterday, it was in your best interest to. This time, you need to let Allio come to you. You keep shuffling, but don’t move, not even when he begins to come closer. In fact, you start circling the other way, making him change his rhythm and show you what he might have been planning.

He takes much bigger steps towards you with his right leg, now. But will hesitate and back up when you pause for a moment, going toward him. Either he wants to kick you, or he wants an easy escape if you move toward him. You let him continue to come closer, prepared for a kick.

And then he launches forward.

All it took was a single blink.

There’s an explosion of pain across your nose, a sickening snap that fills the air. You inhale sharp enough to trigger a cough attack. Your hand flies to your nose, now throbbing and sending needle-like pain through the nerves. In just a couple of seconds, your palms are coated in blood, beginning to pool.

You look back up at Allio in time to see him jumping at you again. You move out of the way, flinging your handful of blood at the floor, right where his foot lands. There’s a moment of steadiness, before he slips and hits the floor hard enough for you to feel it beneath your shoes.

You grit your teeth, drawing your foot back, lip curling, aiming for his head. You expect him to block his face with his forearms, like you were taught to. But he grabs a hold of your ankle with a tight grip and rolls over, pulling you down.

Your entire body hits the wooden floor, hands slapping hard enough for them to make a sound. Allio lets go of your foot, and goes to start crawling on top of you. If he wants to play the foot game, though, then he’s going to get it. You wind your foot back, sending your heel into his chest, knocking him back. You scoot back after that, getting to your feet.

He broke your nose, and it’s gushing blood. Your nose is crooked. You bring the bottom of your shirt up to your lower face, wiping away the fresh wave of red. Each time you breathe out, there’s a couple of droplets that fly through the air. Allio gets back to his feet, you raise your fists, gritting your teeth harder.

You didn’t expect him to be an easy fight, but you were hoping he wouldn’t be this hard.

Allio comes at you again, swinging at your face. This time, you see, so you duck. His arm flies over your head, making a clear path for his chin. Without thinking it through, you shoot up, knuckles slamming into skin and bone. Immediately, there’s a sharp pain that goes through your hand, but you’ve temporarily immobilized Allio.

His mouth is hanging open, backing away from you as he grabs the area you just punched. In the meantime, you steal a glance at your knuckles to see that they’re turning a deep shade of purple already. You try to stretch your hand, and end up crying out in pain.

You look back up at Allio to see that he’s recovered. You don’t know if you can punch him again. Not with your potentially broken knuckles. Your non-dominant hand isn’t all that strong, either. You could always try, but you’ll end up failing.

You suck in a breath through your nose, raising your fists again.

Allio comes in again, since you refuse to move. You need to get the upper hand. So far, you’re the one taking all the injuries, so he needs to receive some too. You sniff, feeling all snot and blood, and then you breathe through your mouth. It’s hard not to pay attention to your nose.

When he’s close enough, you fake right, but go left, swinging your non-dominant hand. It doesn’t feel right, and you don’t hit as hard as you mean to. The punch to Allio’s jaw just moves him backward. You didn’t get as close to his chin as you wanted to.

Allio seems to realize your dilemma, and a sadistic smile grows on his face. There’s a sudden boost in confidence in his movements, and he doesn’t hesitate to come closer anymore. He must’ve been wary of your punches, but now that you can’t hit him, he’s practically untouchable. The only way you can kick him is if you get him down. But even then, he managed to catch you last time.

You have three choices. Two of them back you into a shameful corner, the third means you go down swinging, or you win the match. No matter what happens, you will not take whatever punishment Caspian has lined up for you, in the case you decide to call mercy. And you will not just stand here and take what Allio has to deliver.

Allio swings, you back out of the way. You have to get around him somehow. Get behind him like how Thyme got behind Finnick. She was able to duck under his arm, but you’ve done that twice already. Allio has probably learned his lesson, you need a new way.

He barely comes close enough, you drop to the floor and sweep his feet. Allio loses his balance, you raise up a little, but he’s on his back, vulnerable. You jump at him, fist raised, hand wrapping around one of his wrists, pinning his arm to the ground. You hesitate actually punching him for too long, and his other hand slams into your jaw, making a red hot pain spread through your face and teeth.

Your head knocks back, eyes on the ceiling before you’re falling against the floorboards. You can feel the coolness of the wood through the fabric of your shirt. And for a moment, you think that you could lay here all day and not move. But then you see Allio coming towards you, eyes dark and threatening, and decide that you’ll lay on the floor another day.

Even though you should get up, you don’t move, trying to catch your breath, but you keep an eye on him. If he comes any closer, you think you’ll kick him in the face. Kick him like how you punched Trink. One hit that’ll get him to stop moving for good.

You lift your foot to find that he’s already holding onto it.

You twist around, rolling over and kicking his shoulder with your left foot as hard as you can. He doesn’t let go, instead pulling you in. He lets go of your ankle, and since you’re just beneath him, he raises his fist. His elbow bends, lifting it up far too high just for it to be a knockout punch, and unwinds on you.

You jerk to the left in time for him to slam his hand into the floor.

“Idiot.” you snuff, your voice doesn’t sound like it belongs to you.

While Allio is shaking his knuckles, hissing out curses, you lazily raise back to your feet. Your mouth has an overflow of snot and blood because you refuse to breathe through your nose. You send a wad of red spit flying out of the ring, towards Caspian’s feet before raising your hands.

This fight is not over yet.

When Allio raises back to his feet, his hands aren’t raised, and he comes at you with genuine rage. This is the look that Ossie must have seen yesterday. The look of pure anger from the taunting, going all in and pulling back before it’s too late. The difference now is that you’re embarrassing him. For him, this should have been an easy fight, considering his brute strength yesterday.

Allio finally raises his fists when he gets you cornered. He swings with his left hand--no, he normally punches with his right.

Large black blots block your vision. The pain is hard and warm, pounding on the side of your head. Your hands connect with the cold floorboards once again, and you struggle to blink your eyes free of the dark restraints. For a moment, you’re terrified because the darkness is staying longer than it should. But a ray of light comes through.

You can hear Allio coming up behind you.

Get up.

Even if the stars are just now allowing you to see, you need to get up.

You struggle to make your legs solidify beneath you.

When you turn to face Allio after what feels like forever, you’re met with a solid pain in the middle of your chest, knocking you backwards, stealing your air. You barely keep on your feet this time, anticipating the ground, gasping to try and fix the empty feeling in your lungs. It hurts to breathe in this much. You press an open hand to your chest, eyes finding Allio’s face through the spots, only to see that he’s mere inches away.

One hand on your shoulder, the other one drives it’s way into your stomach. Nausea sprouts, accompanying the dizziness that hasn’t gone away since he punched you. All the air you had just gained, is gone again. A moan leaves your lips from the soreness.

Allio wraps his hand around your throat, you can feel the ground disappearing beneath your shoes. There’s a sudden spike of terror again, and all you can picture is this exact same scenario with Ossie. Allio lifting Ossie into the air as if she was as light as a feather. Allio throwing her down to the floor. The sound of her head cracking open. Her not moving after. The blood turning her blonde hair, rich red. Laurel having to carry her out.

This will not be you.

You swing your foot as far back as possible, desperate for air. Your foot crushes into Allio’s stomach, making his face turn a sudden shade of bright red, and then he drops you.

The ground is a lot further down than you realized.

You try to catch yourself and fail, a scream leaving your throat. Your head slams against the wooden floorboards anyway, but you don’t hear your head breaking open like an egg. Only the hot, pounding feeling on the back of your head. Black spots come back to dot your vision, stealing the sight of the ceiling. Or maybe your eyes are closed.

Can you get up?

The thought alone hurts.

Everything hurts.

You can hear Allio’s tennis shoes against the wooden floorboards, shifting on his feet. He must be waiting for Caspian to call it. And if the fight is over, it means you lose.

You lose.

So, get up.

Your eyes open, stars dot the ceiling. You blink and squint to see better. No, not stars, the ceiling lights. Which form little sparkle shapes as your eyes begin to focus, adjust.

Get up.

You turn, your hot, sticky skin pressing to the floor. It sends aches and pains through your body, your muscles in your legs pulse, letting you know that they’ve had enough. It’s a good thing that they’re not in charge. You are. And this is not over with.

Get up.

Your skin slowly peels away from the polished wood, leaving a faint stinging sensation behind. It’s hardly noticeable, a needle in a haystack, considering you’ve collected an impressive worth of injuries in just one fight.

Get up.

“She’s up--” Caspian starts, once you’re on your feet, hunched over and trying to build enough confidence to stand straight. It’ll hurt too badly. And you’ve run out of time, you took too long to get up. Caspian thinks it’s over.

It’s not over until you win.

You take one step, and then another, testing the waters. Every step you take, sends a jolt through your body that always ends up at the back of your head. Your skull is not broken. You can keep moving.

This is the opening you wanted, after all.

You launch yourself right at Allio’s torso since he’s distracted, wrapping your arms around him for added effort. There’s shooting pains through your nose since it’s pressed up against his body. You pull away before he hits the ground, hard. And before he can move, you’re scrambling on top of him.

Your knuckles are not broken.

You wind your arm back, eyes locked on his nose.

They just hurt.

You drive your fist into his face. And when it doesn’t start to bleed, you punch him again. And again. “I’ll never look the same.” you snarl through your teeth, “So why should you?”

You switch hands, leaning all of your body weight into it. He’s bleeding now, there’s blood running out of his nose and down the sides of his face. His blood mixes in with yours, which coats your knuckles and fingers. If he’s going to target your weak spots, it’s only fair you give him a couple of his own.

You miss the fact that he gets his right hand back, not missing the chance for retaliation. All you can feel is your head jerk to the left hard enough for your neck to crack. You slide across the floor, skin burning along the way. You unscrew your teeth from each other, gasping.

Allio has drawn himself to his feet. Through the tunnel vision, you can see that his face is swollen. Blood is dripping off his chin. You sneer a laugh, which fizzles into coughs, your lungs not being able to support your brief moment of victory. Allio doesn’t look like he did this morning, and he won’t look like himself for a while.

He doesn’t like the fact that you can laugh at him. You can barely decipher the fact that his face twists in anger. He heads towards you, foot drawing back like he’s going to kick a ball to send it across the field. You brace your body for the impact, smile fading.

A scream draws from your throat as the kick lands. You squeeze your eyes hand enough to see vivid patterns dance across the back of your eyelids. Pain so bright and black and white that you can finally understand why Candor doesn’t believe in grey areas.

“The fight is over!” The voice is drowned, underwater and floating away.

You fade into the sea of darkness.

And think: is this how dad felt when he faded too?

It wasn’t until after dinner, did you leave the medical ward last night. You would have attended dinner at the actual dining hall, but the woman working in the unit gave you a plate and was there to help if you needed it. Plus, you got a little taste of Finnick’s thoughts after your loss, and you decided that you’d much rather spend the evening alone.

And you did.

Cleo, the doctor-nurse, let you go after you showed her you could get up and move without falling. Apparently, Ossie had tried to do the exact same thing the night she hit her head. She crumpled a couple of steps in, and almost made her head injury worse. And since you had been dropped on your head too…

You’re fine, though. The injuries that you got from Allio’s fight are painful, of course, but they’re not anything totally awful. Cleo thinks that your chest and stomach will bruise, thanks to Allio’s punch. Your jaw is sore, so she wants you to eat soft foods and ice it as much as possible. As for your knuckles, they’re heavily bruised, not broken. Cleo tried to set your nose as straight as possible, but you’ll need a cosmetic procedure to get it back to the way it was.

You had a lot of time to sit and wallow in your loss in the medical ward, but the tightness in your throat wasn’t nearly as bad as it was until you left. You wandered in the dark for a while, taking deep breaths. You ended up at the railing that blocks you from wandering into the chasm. And you stayed there until you felt better.

Even though there are no real bodies of water inside of the walls—with the exception of the swamp, but that has no water in it anymore—the sound of the rushing river below you was strangely familiar. And each time the water would crash against the jagged rocks, fresh air would be coughed up into your face. It lessened the headache.

And left you alone to think without any disruptions.

By the time you made it back to the dormitory, the announcement had already been made; there would be no training today. Capsian was just leaving the room when you got there, and he passed by you quietly at first. But he was halfway down the hallway when his words echoed off the walls, “Glad to see you’re on your feet, (Y/n).”

You didn’t say anything back.

On the first day, Laurel said that there would be a few breaks from fighting. Today is one of those days. When Finnick and Thyme had explained it to you, they didn’t say what you’d be doing exactly. Only that you all had to meet Laurel at the tracks by eight fifteen and not to be late. You have a feeling that they didn’t know what you’ll be doing today, either.

The only person that seemed to be upset last night over the break, was Finnick. Everyone else has something to complain about, not going unharmed in all the fights they’ve taken place in. You’re one of them, yesterday’s pain has settled into your bones, making itself right at home. Every move you make, you’re reminded of your loss. Which wouldn’t be that bad, but again, you have Finnick at your side. And the only thing that’s on his mind lately, is the streak.

With yesterday's loss, it means that he is the sole survivor of the streak. With his perfect gun aim, and the fact that he hasn’t lost a fight yet. You’d say something to him, if it weren’t for the fact that you have two friends total at the moment, Finnick and Thyme. Normally, you can handle Finnick being mad at you, because you had other people to talk to in Abnegation. But Thyme is more on Finnick’s side than yours, Ossie and Amos aren’t technically your friends, and your relationship with the other three is pretty much established.

For now, you have to bite your tongue and bear it. But you wonder how long Finnick will go unchecked for. Until you finally snap and shove back. You can handle the teasing, but it’s like holding a glass of water for a long period of time. It doesn’t start off heavy, it ends up that way.

You guess that it’s partially your fault, because you’re giving him ammunition. If you want it to stop, you need to win the next two fights, and then do better than him at the last two stages of initiation. In theory, it sounds easy, but you don’t know what the second and third stages have to offer. Plus, you’re damaged goods at the moment, what are the chances you can win the fights?

As long as you try. Trying is good enough.

A shoe scuffs against the floor, sending a sharp squeak through the air.

You don’t have to lay here anymore.

You could hardly roll over last night because of your stomach. And after a couple of times, you stopped and laid on your back until your muscles finally relaxed and you couldn’t feel the pain anymore. You got a couple hours of sleep in.

It was ruined when you jolted awake around midnight, a scream rising in your throat, your bed sheets soaked in sweat, and a very hot feeling spreading over your body. It took a while for you to finally feel normal and calmed down, and by then you were awake. The memory of the nightmare that you had just been submerged in, was at the front of your mind.

You stopped having nightmares last year, you had finally begun to feel comfortable in your own house again. You guess you went and ruined your streak when you moved here, to a faction that would make your mother feel shame, if she were still alive.

Surprisingly, that was not the main story of the dream. Instead, you dreamt that you were back inside of the aptitude test, with all the knowledge that would come after. That every choice you would make, would conflict and result in Laurel telling you that you’re Divergent and you could be murdered because of it. But you still went through with your original answers, because you didn’t want to end up in Abnegation. You thought, for a second, that being three things was better than one.

When you came out of the test, the room was full. Men and women dressed in Dauntless black, an army sent just for you, with their guns pointed at your chest.

Standing at the front was Caspian. “Divergence is against the law.” He droned, “You are not welcome here.”

And just before they all fired, he told you that you were another stain on your family’s lineage.

The word that has stuck with you for hours is another. Not the fact that you could feel every bullet they fired pierce your body. Or feeling yourself slip away in the sinful room of mirrors. It was the fact that you were not the only anomaly in the family. The only other person that has moved away—moved on from Abnegation is Mox. Which made many people turn a brief eye to your family, watching him go.

But it doesn’t fit right. That is not the puzzle piece that needs to be there. It’s only a supplement. You know this.

Two weeks before the aptitude test, there was a unit in your science class that was about the human brain. The lesson was brief, but your teacher mentioned how dreams come from the subconscious mind, before moving onto another section. She’d only mentioned it in passing, but it has stuck with you ever since.

To you, this idea seems wrong because you don’t think of Mox as a stain. That thought is not yours to begin with. And yet, even though you’ve been awake for hours, you still haven’t found a better conclusion.

You’re starting to think that there isn’t one.

You suck in a deep breath through your nose, reaching over to the side of the bunk to help pull you into a sitting position. You grit your teeth tightly, sure that they’re going to break, but you’re determined not to make a sound. You let out a low groan anyway, which dissipates into a sigh of relief as soon as you’re sitting upright.

Leaning back on one hand, you use the other to lift the end of your shirt to see your stomach properly. Right in the middle, sits deep shades of purple and red. You press your lips together, gently running your fingers over the skin like a ghost. It’s tender, beginning the stages of healing.

You let your shirt drop, turning towards the end of the bed, hanging your feet over the side. You remember what it took to get you up here. There’s no ladder, because that would be far too easy. Tears had sprung in the corners of your eyes, you were forced to wriggle your way up on your stomach, hands clamped tight against the metal bars.

Once you got up here last night, you weren’t allowed to get back down. Not that you really wanted to, what you really wanted to do was sleep it off. Obviously that didn’t pan out too well, either.

You can see Thyme from the top of the bunk. She’s still sleeping, tangled in her blanket, shirt collar desperate to choke her. Half her body is turned one way, the other half twisted away. Her head isn’t turned toward you.

You’re pretty sure that Finnick is still asleep beneath you, but you can’t exactly tell without accidentally falling off the bed. And if you’re going to get off by yourself, you think that you’ll do it on your own time. Speaking of which, it looks like you only have forty-five minutes to get ready.

That should be enough time, right?

The only other people awake inside of the room are Eytelle, Ossie and Amos. Eytelle disappears into the bathroom, clutching her clothes to her chest. Ossie is already dressed, pulling on her hiking shoes, yanking the laces as tight as possible. And Amos is… sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor.

Trink and Allio are across the room, both turned away from you. If you get off the bed, the only people that are here to witness your pain are the two people that you wouldn’t mind seeing. Apart from Finnick and Thyme, of course. You’d ask for help, but the idea of Finnick’s teasing appears in your mind, setting your destiny in stone.

You suck in a deep breath through your nose, moving your ankles around in circles. Your calves are tight, they feel like you’ve had twenty leg cramps in a row. They’re going to be uncooperative today, which is the last thing that you’re going to need. Especially if you’re supposed to be jumping in and out of trains today.

The thought of missing the jump on the roof occurs to you, and you can’t help the shiver that runs through your body.

You decide that you’ll try and lower yourself down, instead of just scooting off the edge and jumping. Since your calves clearly can’t handle it right now. You’re careful to lean on your wrists and not your hands, turning yourself around. You’re glad that you’re starting to develop more upper body strength, otherwise this would be impossible.

Your body begins to ache, arms shaking the further you go down. You feel Finnick’s mattress dip beneath your bare feet. Your other foot touches his blanket, and after that, you just step down. The cement is freezing cold, making your toes curl.

You spare a glance at Finnick before you get moving, and you start to glare once you realize that he’s awake. He has a cheeky grin on his face, raising his eyebrows, “I see you’re feeling great this morning.”

“I’m not.” you say back, “Maybe I should’ve stepped on your face like I originally planned to.”

Finnick lets out a laugh, getting up and off his bed. Ever since the two of you left Abnegation five days ago, he’s begun to stand at his full height. It makes him look like he belongs inside of Dauntless. There’s tall people in Abnegation, of course, but none of them are as tall as Finnick.

You have to look up at an angle to see his face. He stretches his arms above his head, shirt riding up, he yawns, and then groans. Unlike you, he doesn’t have any concern for the other people sleeping in the room.

You gather your clothes, throwing them over your arm. Finnick has no shame and decides to change right where he is. A part of you wishes that you could do the same, but your body is more valuable than his, to an extent. You shake Thyme awake, watching her squint and blink and wake up.

“Seven-forty.” you say.

She hums and rolls over. You head toward the bathroom, which is just as an open room as the dorm. Except, there’s stalls and the showers have curtains. You step inside one of them, and try to wash yourself as fast as possible. It hurts to bend down, tears appear in the corner of your eyes and run down your face. By the time you’re done showering, there’s fifteen minutes left.

You get dressed and brush your teeth. Finnick and Thyme work together to help you tie your shoes, since you can’t bend down to do it yourself. You thank them both, and after that, you have to get to the train. There’s no way you’ll make it to breakfast, climb the Pit and make it to the train in time.

“How about I get us breakfast then?” Finnick’s got a grin, jumping at the opportunity.

Thyme gives him a look, “We’re not covering your ass if you’re late.”

“No problem, I’ll see you there.”

He takes off, leaving just you and Thyme. The two of you head up the stairs of the Pit to the glass building above it, in silence. Your thighs begin to complain at the strain, in perfect harmony with your calves. When you pass through the exit doors, you’re able to see that it’s only Amos up here, arms wrapped around himself in a hug. He looks over slightly to see you two, and then he looks away.

“Where’d you go yesterday?” Thyme asks.

She’s still rubbing sleep from her eyes, there’s dark bags forming. She hasn’t been getting much sleep, it looks like. But you think that goes for everyone here. No one has slept soundly since the Choosing Ceremony. It just got worse as soon as the fighting began, for reasons you discovered last night.

“Hmm?” you hum, looking at her.

“We went to visit you in the medical unit, and you weren’t there.”

“Oh.” you say, looking to where the train will be coming. Behind you, you can hear the doors of the building open again. Judging by the amount of voices, it’s Trink, Allio and Eytelle. “I needed a minute to myself, that’s all.”

An arm slams into yours from behind, knocking you into Thyme. It’s Trink, who gives you a smug side-eye when she walks past. You grit your teeth, hands balling into fists.

“Here.” a voice says, you jump and look over to see it’s Finnick, handing you the toast he got from the dining hall. It’s still hot, he must have ran here to give it to you before it cooled. You go to thank him, but he’s distracted. His eyes are on the back of Trink’s head.

Two words burn like fire on the tip of your tongue, “Do it.” you encourage.

It’s all it takes. Finnick presses the six squares of toast into your hands before he starts over toward Trink.

“Why would you say that?” Thyme hisses in a whisper, eyebrows pushed in. She’s worried for them. Typical Amity behavior, especially since she’s not for the fighting to settle differences.

“Because Finnick doesn’t negotiate.”

You don’t include the fact that, if it weren’t for your current condition, you’d be helping him.

Finnick spins Trink around, her mouth falls open. Her two idiot Candor friends turn around too, only halfway. By then, Finnick punched Trink straight across her mouth, whipping her head to the side. She loses her balance, hand flying to touch her teeth to make sure they’re still in place. When she opens her mouth, her gums are bleeding, white teeth turned red.

Allio goes to ask her if she’s okay, and Eytelle puffs up as if she’s actually going to do something about it. The moment that Finnick matches her energy, her height, and how his hands curl into fists, she backs off.

“Next time, I’ll break your fucking nose.” Finnick snaps, looking directly at Trink, “Or better yet, I’ll hold you down so she can.”

Finnick comes back over, face flushed a shade of red. He grabs his breakfast from your hands, and Thyme does the same. The doors open behind you, Laurel and Ossie come out. Laurel has her hair in a ponytail today, sleek and straight. She walks right past Trink, Eytelle and Allio. And stops a few feet away, sticking her hands into her ironed business pants.

There’s a moment of baffled silence on Trink’s part, and then she bursts, “You’re not going to ask what happened?”

Laurel looks over, straight-faced, “What happened?” she asks lamely.

It’s good enough for her, “He punched me!”

Laurel stares for a moment, probably deciding if Trink’s behavior is worth feeding into. She doesn’t look at Finnick when she starts towards Trink. Laurel crouches down in front of her, being careful that pants don’t touch the grass beneath her. “You will have a lot more to worry about if you continue to tell on your fellow initiates. You are displaying signs of cowardice. I am not your mother, handle the situation yourself.” Laurel stands, glances at Finnick, and says; “From now on, no fighting outside of the ring. Once you’re a member, the rule lifts.”

She goes back to where she was standing before.

If Trink wants to say anything else, she can’t. You finish your piece of toast, brushing the crumbs off your hands and shirt just as the train comes in. The horn blares, letting you know that it’s coming. Laurel stands close enough for the wind to blow her clothes flat against her body.

Amos is the first to pull himself inside of the train, disappearing off to the left side. You jog with the train, remembering the high feeling the day of the Choosing Ceremony. How you had pulled yourself inside of the train like you’ve done it every day of your life.

Now you’re struggling to push past the violent burning feeling in your calves and thighs with each step you take. You wonder, is this progress, or are you falling behind?

You grab a hold of the handle, grit your teeth and hold your breath, yanking yourself in. Immediately, there’s an achy feeling in your chest and stomach. You massage your chest, not dumb enough to go lower. Finnick pulls himself in next, almost effortlessly. He slams his head against the doorway of the train, curses leaving his mouth. You burst into laughter, you can hear Amos chuckling behind you.

Finnick rubs his forehead, face twisted. He moves inward, allowing Thyme to come in next, “Think it’ll bruise?”

“You didn’t hit yourself that hard!” you shout over the wind.

He gives you a grin.

Laurel comes in next, standing off to the side and judges every person who comes in next. Eytelle, Allio, Ossie and then Trink. Ossie comes to the left side, where you are. As for the other three, they take the right side, huddled up like they normally are. Laurel presses herself against the wall, crosses her arms, and stares out of the door.

You still don’t know what you’re doing today.

The train brings you all the way to the far fence. It brakes too harshly, making Finnick jerk. You grab a hold of his arm before he knocks into Laurel and gets himself into any more trouble. Finnick might be tall and an experienced fighter, but sometimes he’s as prepared as a baby deer. When you’d ride home together on the bus in Abnegation, he’d have to hold onto a pole, not the overhead handles. It’s because the poles are steadier.

The train comes to a complete stop underneath an awning. Laurel exits firsts, jumping down gracefully and walking a couple of steps before she stops and waits. You move out next with Finnick. This time, he makes sure to duck dramatically so that he doesn’t hit his head again.

There’s a chain-link fence with barbed wire, a green field on the other side of it, with hills that stretch as far as your eyes can see. Dotted around are a mix of healthy green trees, and trees that are far too dead to be revived.

On the other side of the fence is the Dauntless guards, wearing black and carrying guns, patrolling what may be out there. Only recently, in the past couple of years, have the Dauntless begun to patrol the outside of the fence. As far as anyone knows, there isn’t a threat. Only more Amity farms that couldn’t fit inside of the fence. Before, the Dauntless had been controlling what went on inside of the factionless communities. But Abnegation argued that they don’t need Dauntless with guns. They need food, water, places to live. They need to be rehomed and given a new opportunity.

“Follow me!” Laurel shouts, once everyone is off the train. The eight of you wander behind her, “Today, you’re doing volunteer work, carrying heavy shit that the Amity and Abnegation can’t.” she leads you to a gate, with a wide, cracked road that leads back to the city, “And I’ll give you some insight on the jobs you’ll be eligible for if you don’t rank high in initiation.”

She nods at one of the guards on the other side, “If you don’t rank in the top five at the end of initiation, you’ll end up here. Once you’re a fence guard, there’s not much room for advancement. If you get the job, you probably won’t find a way to squirm out of it. Most who work here, say that it’s not as bad as it seems. Isn’t that right?”

She has a smile on her face when she looks at one of the guards. They give her an amused expression, and then eyes over you guys.

“Don’t mind them, they’re just shy. The most you’ll get out of the job is the potential to go beyond the Amity farms, but that’s the extent of it.” she stops, turning to face you guys.

“What else?” Trink asks, she’s standing behind you.

“Well, you’ve seen the shops, tattoo and piercing parlors. If you’ve visited the medical ward, you can be a doctor, or a lunch lady. We have security cameras all over the Dauntless compound, so you could make that your day job.” she pauses for a moment, “Oh, and police officers. But that’s about it.

“If you rank in the top five, you get your pick of the litter. Or maybe, the litter will pick you, in some cases.” Laurel doesn’t elaborate for a moment, and then she smiles, “Did you know that they’re looking for a temporary, fourth position for leadership? If the person fits the requirements for leadership, they’ll replace one of the leaders we have now.”

“Is that what you’re going for?” Thyme asks.

Her face twists, raising her eyebrows, “It’s not a job for the fainthearted. And I’ve already got my job. Who do you think designs all the clothes you’re wearing?”

You remember the mannequin on her arm. You originally thought it was her fear, as you’ve come to realize that most of the Dauntless will get their fear somewhere on their body. But maybe it’s a passion thing, instead.

A horn blares, making Laurel raise her head, “The next train is here. Let’s get this over with, so we can get back to the headquarters.”

ANTERIC IS A SPIN-OFF DIVERGENT AU //MASTERLIST//

add yourself to the TAGLIST

@amixedwitch / @justthatfangirloverthere / @fnnshelbys / @neenieweenie / @vxntae / @liaaacantwrite / @tereuzasworld

#ilguna #finnick odair #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair oneshot #finnick odair fanfic #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair anteric #anteric #anteric chapter four

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fuckyeahcarlosandlidia · 4 years

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The Family Of Love Forever

This contains spoilers, so you’re warned:D

So the show has finally ended in some way it felt like I can relax. Right after part 1 , I’ve spent months feeling very much betrayed, mad, annoyed and sad for being treated as the most significant fans, just because we picked the “wrong” side. And I’m not saying “wrong” because we were wrong or because Carlos and Lidia weren’t worthy, but because we don’t belong to that group of people who drool over Yon Gonzalez, and believe that Blanca is supposed to end up with him, no matter what they do. It felt really annoying to be treated like that, because of fanservice.But after part 2, I don’t feel exactly like that, anymore. Yes, I still believe they ruined their show, I still believe they turned it into something completely different than how it used to be. After season 4, I felt like the nonsense, the bad writing and forced stuff was what kept moving the show on. I’m more than sure that Blanca didn’t like season 4 at all, since we made pretty clear she was always on teamCarlidia and wanted the story to be that way. I think, since the girls gave their own opinion about the ending, they decided to focus more on their friendship, not on the romance. That wasn’t the problem at all, because the girls were the core of the show, and Lidia was the main character. But Martiño should have been there, too.

The thing is that to me they did everything in the wrong way because all about Lidia and Francisco was forced and completely random, it had no build-up at all, and they were together only because they ruined Carlos, on purpose. They were together because circumstances made it happen, not because she actually chose him over Carlos. To me, this is not how you write romance, this is not how make a couple happen, and certainly not ruining the other option, for God’s sake. They did to Carlos everything they could do to make him appear as “bad”. Big failure!

Anyway, speaking of the finale, obviously I felt like there was stuff quite forced, too, like for example the whole Carmen’s redemption, the 2 Albisco scenes at the end – but I’ll be back to that – my God the chemistry was so bad. And I thought the whole ending with the girls was really too much tragic. I figured out that would be the ending; their interviews made me sure of that, and even though, I get the message, they’re heroines for sure, but after everything they went through, I think it would have been fair to give them the chance to be with their children, to get a second chance. The show used to be very fresh and simple, they were simple women, and it wasn’t necessary to make the avengers and martyrs. It was very hard to watch. But I’m glad that, at the end, it was all about the girls, their bond, and their destiny.

Speaking of Albisco, they didn’t even seem like a couple for most of the season. I would say, as it always was. Their relationship was always based on the past and that time at train station, and they didn’t even get scenes, build-up for most of the series. They got two scenes in the whole season. One was the same scene again and again, with flashbacks of them as kids. And the other one was the goodbye scene, which was pretty predictable. I certainly didn’t expect Lidia to go on a suicide mission without saying goodbye, and I won’t deny that this man always meant something to her. For many reasons. I’ve never denied that and I never will. And for how things went, for the circumstances, he was part of her family, too. I just firmly believe he wasn’t the love of her life, for the very same reasons I talked about above and for the story that was told us. Lidia made her choice, she picked Carlos over Francisco, she built a family with him because she wanted to. A family of love. Not out of circumstances. And I really appreciated that Lidia told Francisco “os quiero mucho”, meaning all of them as a family. She didn’t ILY to him and only him. Something that he did. And for me it’s enough, for me it’s really important and it means a lot. Carlos will always be the only man she said ILY to. Again and again.

And now let me talk about the thing that owns my heart. Who talked to me before the ending perfectly knows I had no expectations for the last episodes. I actually believed they got rid of him, and farewell! I truly thought no one would give him justice because of how they killed him off, and how they ruined him, too. But I was gladly surprised I couldn’t be more wrong. ‘Cause there was someone who loved him so much who just couldn’t just let him go without fighting for the truth. For the very moment she asked of him, to know where he was because she believed he could have helped them with their plan against Carmen, I knew there was hope. Not only because of the sad look on her face, but because she thought of him as a potential ally to fight Carmen. Trust. That’s what it was. When she met him again in part 1, she was disappointed to find a different man, a man she couldn’t trust. She even told him that. But soon enough she realized he was exactly the same man she loved.

I was very satisfied by her reaction, too, when she found out he was dead. That he could have killed himself. Denial, shortness of breath, disbelief, non-acceptance. She cried more for Carlos then when she had to say goodbye to Francisco. I love the passion she showed at proving the truth for him. And it was to me such a proof of love. The power of their love for each other was able to go beyond death because she immediately got everything. She remembered every word he told her about Romero, and she knew he couldn’t have committed suicide because of her, because the last thing he told her was “You’ll always be the woman of my life”. She was never his poison, she was his life. And as a guardian angel, Carlos was able to move the plot and help Lidia even though he was no more. It’s because of how strong their love was, that Lidia could win the war against Carmen, and made her change her mind. The “Don’t compete with me for Carlos’s love, you have a very good chance of losing” turned out true again.

Carlos’s life were Lidia and Eva. He spent the last 8 years of his life hoping to find a way to meet his baby again, to be the good father he always wanted to be to her. He still had the “Teddy Bear” we know so well, as the symbol of the beautiful family we had. It hurts deeply, but I was glad they gave justice to this wonderful man, who, with Elisa, just had the misfortune to belong to a bad family. The Cifuentes never had a chance, they were denied their parents’ affection, which is something monstrous, and they never got a chance. This is just unfair. Thankfully, Eva will have the chance to live the life she deserves, even though without her mother and without the chance of meeting her father. I just hope Francisco will tell her who her parents were, because right ‘till the very end Eva had a father and his name was Carlos Cifuentes. And she will always the fruit of the love.

We got the story, we got the moments, we got everything about our ship, something others can’t say. It ended badly, yet I’m glad they gave us closure. Carlos was the only who told Lidia “te amo”, which is different from “te quiero”, because querer means caring, too. “Te amo” is much stronger. And Lidia referred to him as “alguien que había amado”, again she didn’t use this verb for Francisco, at all. And to me it means everything. And she never actually defined or described Francisco in any way. OTOH, we have one of the best quotes ever. Even if Carlos wasn’t there. “Carlos was strong. He would have faced anything.” She says it so passionately, without looking anything or anyone in particular, with tears in her eyes, only thinking about him, meaning every word. Carlos Cifuentes was indeed her hero, the one who always made her feel stronger. They changed each other’s life and they gave everything to each other. With no restriction. It was a rollercoaster, it caused so much joy and so much pain, but it was all before our eyes. "Love that overthrows life, unbiddable, ungovernable, like a riot in the heart, and nothing to be done, come ruin or rupture.” They’re the greatest story of Las Chicas del Cable, “true love, the consequence of a deep and conscious choice” that happened right at the end of season 1, when she decided to let go of the past and to embrace the wonderful future who was right, down on his knees, asking her to spend the rest of her life with him.

I had no idea this show would become such a tragedy. There’s no real winner in this, we all lost something precious, but I’ll never let it go, for real. This blog will always be here to remember who this couple was, who Lidia Aguilar and Carlos Cifuentes was, and to celebrate two great human beings as Blanca and Martiño.

#cable girls #las chicas del cable #lidia x carlos #carlos x lidia #blanca suarez #martino rivas #my stuff

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indomitablekushite · 5 years

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Progression and Regression in Reconstruction History

Many of us Black Studies who are reconstructing history (the history of the United States) think that we are entering a new era in American history. We may think that the things we are witnessing today, i.e., the election of Blacks to political office and their appointments to various positions, their accomplishments in various corporations and so forth, are something new in American history. Yet the study of reconstruction history should quickly convince us that we are currently undergoing deja vu.

Many of us view history as a continuing progression upward and onward. We have bought the American concept of progress: the idea that things must over time necessarily get better. There is no law in the universe that tells us our future survival is assured: that we will continue to exist now and into the future. There have been races and ethnic groups who have been virtually wiped out on this planet. There is no guarantee that our own group will not be wiped out as well. the idea that we must necessarily arrive at a point greater than that reached by our ancestors could possibly be an illusion. The idea that somehow according to some great universal principle we are going to be in a better condition than our ancestors is an recognizing that progressions and regression occur; that integration and disintegration occur in history.

History is not a fairy tale wherein certain things are accomplished and people live happily ever after. Many of us think the accomplishment we have made up to this point means that we are only going to expand them in the future. We had better think about that again. I will point out today why we must not be so optimistic as to be foolish.

Let us go back for a moment to an article written in Ebony magazine, October 1982, wherein Lerone Bennett wrote (I think) his conclusion to his book Black Power U. S. A. When I finished reading that book, I felt that that last chapter was missing. It went on to laud Black Power during the Reconstruction era and so forth and yet, somehow, its logical conclusions weren't arrived at. The lessons that the book brought to mind were not expressed openly and completely. Consequently, I think some people would have been left with the wrong impression. But lo and behold he did write the final chapter, not within the book itself but in Ebony magazine under the front cover heading heading"The Second Reconstruction: Is History Repeating Itself?"

He titled the article, "The Second Time Around. Will History Repeat Itself and Rob Black og Gains of 1960s?" So he's dealing with the issue again. We gained it [freedom] once and we lost it. Is there any law in the universe that says that we will not lose it again? He introduced the topic:

OVER. It was, at long last over and done with. How could anyone doubt it? How could anyone fail to see that the race problem has been solved forever? One man who had no doubt said, "All distinctions founded upon race or color have been forever abolished in the United States." Another who saw things this way said the category of race has been abolished by law and that "there [were] no more colored people in this country." Thus spoke the dreamers and the prophets--and victims---in the first Reconstruction of 1860s and the 1870s.

I don't think I have to elaborate on this kind of attitude. We run into too many youngsters today who say, "Oh, that was in slavery time. Oh those were things we talked in the 1960s and 70s; we're in a new day now." We're not in a new day ladies and gentlemen. The same words that we are saying today are the same words that people were saying over 100 years ago. Why are we in a new day saying the same thing that someone said 100 years ago? Bennett goes on to say:

And it is worth emphasizing here, at the very beginning, that these flights into fantasy were based on the same "hard" facts that grip the imagination of Blacks in the second Reconstruction of the 1960s and 1970s. There was, for example, a Black man in the U.S. Senate in 1870s and there was a Black governor in louisiana. In the 1860s and the 1870s--as in the 1960s and 1970s--there were Black sheriffs and mayors in the South and there was open speculation about a Black vice presidential candidate. [So the Jesse Jackson run is not new in Black American history]. There was moreover,a network of civil rights laws that seemed to settle the issue beyond all possibility of dispute or recall..

There are so many of us who believe that fair housing laws, anti-discrimination laws, civil rights laws, voting laws and so forth, guarantee our freedom. that is a illusion. What a fight into fantasy! Laws are no stronger than their enforcers. The same people who pass those laws are the same people who are responsible for enforcing them. If the people who enforce the laws no longer decide to do so, the laws are of no value and have no power. Ultimately, then fairness rests not in laws but in the activities of people and in the attitude and consciousness of people. Therefore, if the people who are responsible for enforcing those laws change their attitudes then the treatment of those people whose freedom is protected by those so-called laws is changed as well.

We cannot put our faith in White man's law and laws enforced by whites. I have warned and it bears repeating that if there comes a day when the society has to make a choice between feeding White children and feeding Black children, no amount of civil rights laws or any other laws on the books will prevent those people from feeding their children first. It is a silly faith we have in laws. For Black people in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s to still rest their freedom on the basis of laws when history itself shows us that this cannot be done, we must question our sanity and what we have learned from the study of our history.

"Back there, 100 years ago there was a federal law protecting voting rights in the South--- Does this all sound vaguely familiar?---- and there was a national public accommodations act."

"So the public accommodations law didn't begin with the freedom rides in the 1960s. We had those rights in the 1860s and 1870s as well.."

Such, in broad outline, was the racial situation 100 years ago--in the 1860s and 1870s--when racism was "forever abolished" in America for the first time.... It was a short "forever."

I'll just read other selected excerpts from Bennett's article.

"As almost every schoolboy knows, the first Reconstruction ended in a major historical catastrophe that wiped out the gains of the 1860s. As a consequence, it required 100 years and oceans of blood for Black people to climb back up to the political plateau they had occupied in 1860-70."

So, as I stated earlier, history contains both progress and regress. However, regressing at this point in history will not be a situation where we will be able to fight the battle all over again. Regressing at this point in history essentially spells annihilation for Afrikans, not only in America but for Afrikans the world over.

"For as I said in Black Power U.S.A., and as Dubois said before me in Black Reconstruction, "Reconstruction in all of its various facets was the supreme lesson for America, the right reading of which might still mark a turning point in our history."

The election of Black mayors and governors and our getting jobs in White corporations can in no way ensure the survival of Black people. We cannot make the progress of Black people synonymous with our qualifying for degrees and we've had this game played upon us before. Lerone Bennett mentions the founding of,

"..a prototypical War on Poverty [from the 1860s-1879s] (the Freedman's Bureau) and putting on the books civil rights laws which were in some instances stronger than civil laws passed in the 1969s and 1979s. In the wake of these events, there were many gains which surpassed, in many instances, the political gains Blacks made in the 1960s and 1970s. ********************************************* At one time, in fact, Black legislators were in the majority in the South Carolina legislature. In the same period, as in the comparable period in the 1960s and 1979s, poor Whites received social and economic benefits rich Whites had denied them."

Once we got in we were even good to poor White-folks. We set up school systems and a whole lot of other things. I'll conclude this portion by reading this:

"Long discussions about the morals and educational equivocations of Blacks obscure the main point--power or the lack of power. The worst thing that can be said about some leaders of the reconstruction period is that they did not seem to understand that the only issue was power."

We don't talk about that issue very much today either; it seems to frighten many of us.

"One final point is relevant to an understanding of the power realities of the social movements of both the first and second Reconstructions. In both cases, social and political leaders failed to provide the economic ballots that made political ballots viable. no one understands this better than the Black masses of the 1860s who said in marches and demonstrations that their freedom was not secure without a firm economic foundation."

Therefore, think again when we celebrate Frederick Douglass, Harriet Tubman, king, and others. We should begin to look at the central issues. If our study of Black history is merely an exercise in feeling good about ourselves, then we will die feeling good. We must look at the lessons tat history teaches us. We must understand the tremendous value of the study of history for the re-gaining of power. If our education is not about gaining real power, we are being miseducated and misled and we will die "educated" and misled.

The Falsification of Afrikan Consciousness..

~Dr. Amos N Wilson Pg 8-13

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linipik · 6 years

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Cómo decidiste en que casa de Hogwarts iría cada personaje? pd: amo tu Au uwu💕💞

How did you decided the hogwarts house for each character?

GRACIAS POR LA MEJOR PREGUNTA DEL SIGLO!!…hope you don’t mind but i will answer it in english, for all my dear followers to know.I am on board with the theory that the house you get into is not about some inner working of your soul but what is the thing you hold more important.Usually families end up in the same house ( malfoy, weasly) because they hold some values in their homes as the most important, but the hat takes everything into account. for example hermione would also fit in ravenclaw, but she finds courage as one of the most important traits someone can have.Imo, it is a smart way to sort young people. You are not separating all the courageous or all the creative wizards into different houses . more like, giving a kid who finds creativity important to be surrounded by like minded people.The hat holds the knowledge of the founders and even if it can be biased, i suppose the hat actually looks to place students where they will reach the true potential they want, where they will develop as the best version of themselves that the student can think of.And this goes for the way i sorted the paladins in my hogwarts AuShiro: We are talking about the man who pushed matt out of the way and became champion of gladiator alien fights. Shiro is the definition of brave to the point of self destruction, A very gryffindor thing to be. Nothing of this means he is not ambitious or hard working. It just means for me, that his moral code is ruled by bravery. He adopted keith as a brother because he got the nerve to steal his car!. It just show me those are qualities he holds dear.

Keith: He goes into gryffindor instantly. Keith is the kind of person that finds courage important , he would jump into action without thinking much of the consequences as he has done many times into vld canon. he has nerve of do things others would think twice or never do. Also we know Keith looks up to shiro and admires him deeply. Also, defensiveness is the main negative trait of all us gryffins, and keith build walls around him as a sport. Pidge: She is hella smart, incredibly creative but she is the person who single handedly outsmarted the garrison because they were not telling her the truth, and she was going of to get her family no matter voltron or the universe. And not for a second she stopped looking for them. She has the power to achieve anything she sets her mind to, no matter the means to that end. and that screams to me she is a sytherin . Nothing can hold her back. Hunk: The same hunk that remained level headed and loyal while their friends teared each other apart lost in the void of space, and the same hunk that saw the way the balmerans were living under the galra and choose to defend the universe and the same hunk that equally look to learn about the galra traditions. He is a person who looks for fairness and values loyalty above anything else. I would go and say Hunk is a rulebook hufflepuff.

Allura: She is brave and intelligent, very gryffindor and very ravenclaw., but her motivations are ruled by seeking knowledge, about voltron and her people. And then when she is chosen to get into oriande to gain its secret knowledge it is her pursue for the truth the one that gets her to were she is.. She is smart and creative and the times she is thinking logically that she shines and her true potential as a leader, (better than alfor, may i say) is revealed. She is a true ravenclaw at the end.

Now Lance. Lance is my special case and that is the reason I made him a hatstall. He had the exact potential and core values to be in any house. and it is fun how in the fandom i’ve seen him literally in any house, while the other just shift between one or two. Lance is adaptable (he changes and adjusts well to any situation like the change of lions or the times he had lead the team) , kind (he is the one to comfort keith and allura when they were in a bad spot, he is very people driven, he helped pidge to get the videogame, an overall good bean) , smart (from spotting fake rover to creating accurate plans on the moment ) and brave ( the kid literally entered the blue lion no second thoughts about it and he put himself between an explosion and coran). But he, himself, dont see the slytherin, ravneclaw or hufflepuff values as the most important. He wants to be seen as the cool hero of the story, held to the traditional values of heroes… He even says Shiro is his hero. But also all those traits all the things that would place him in any other house have a thing in common for me, and is his will to help and save people no matter how small the problem. for me he has a very Gryffindor trait: Chivalry.

Adam: My dear boy adam. He has one of the important traits about slytherins that differentiate them of the other houses and the trait that antagonizes the most with gryffindors: Self preservation. Slyths are aslo bold and determined. You need certain amount of all of that to give an ultimatum like Adam gave Shiro about their own relationship and stick to it. Slytherins are success driven and Adam basically telling shiro to settle down for what he already achieved would not be too slyth ..BUT thinking on what success means, if it goes into self destruction like Shiro was doing, going with prof. holt, it makes sense to find it pointless.

Lotor: .Cunning? Adaptable? all his motivations are ambition driven and he is the kind of man who think the end justifies the means. he is basically the textbook slytherin. Matt: is a Ravenclaw, he is clever, he is creative , like he knows how to leave clues for his sister. And what he places higher in priorities is inherently different from Pidge. MAtt childhood goal was to meet aliens, he is profoundly driven by his curious mind.Veronica: Also a ravenclaw, she is smart and analytical and witty. We know limited things about her, but she must need a lot of creativity to survive and lead the resistance against the galra, and the way she talked to lance, it is like she is used to be rightShay: A hufflepuff: she is brave and curious, but when she sees what the galra are doing and deeming it as unfair she takes action. it is the core value of seeking freedom the one that places her in hufflepuff for me. (That the colors of their lions fit the houses its just the best detail.)

… i also choose one of the most important traits of the house to each character in my au, just to make it more fun for me.This is getting quite long so im gonna leave it here. thank you so much for letting me rant about hogwarts houses and paladins

#voltron #i have houses for everyone else but it is getting quite long #hogwarts au

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kittencaboodleextraordinaire · 4 years

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“Ok, but I had a Johnny first, and mine is better”: Adventures in Cyberpunk with a snarky headmate

Warning: this post contains considerable discussion of a major plot point in Cyberpunk 2077 which is discussed in the promotional materials (trailers etc) but which is not revealed in-game until after the first segment of the main story (the heist). Those who wish to remain unspoiled may instead view this lovely picture I edited of four raccoons in a trenchcoat (inspired by Critical Role’s playthrough of the absolutely delightful ttrpg Crash Pandas, which I highly encourage everybody in existence to go check out).

This phenomenal piece of art is surely the high point of this post. It can only go downhill from here.

Anyway.

So as we all know, Cyberpunk 2077 was finally released a few days ago to the expected amount of drama and fanfare, and my partner and I have been playing it together, by which I mean he’s been playing and I’ve been providing helpful advice like “We should totally buy the awesome purple car what do you mean you want a motorcycle THE MOTORCYCLE ISN’T PURPLE”. It’s not, y’know, an amazing game, but it’s pretty fun and I have already found multiple characters to ship V with, which I’m sure we can all agree is the truly important thing here. Plus of course there is abundant opportunity to make innuendo at my partner so I am a happy kitten. Mostly. There is one aspect of the story that is proving to be a continual source of awkwardness and general highly disconcerting aura. Namely, Johnny Silverhands.

At some point (I fell asleep for this part so I don’t know exactly what happened), you end up fused with a chip containing the personality of Johnny Silverhands, some kind of sort of famous dude who died a long time ago or something like that. awards self 10/10 stars for that eloquent and informative summary of important plot elements I was totally paying attention to and wasn’t asleep for at all anyway the important thing is there’s a dude hanging out in your brain with you. This is kind of weird and awkward for me, since I also have a dude hanging out in my brain with me. His name is Jonas. Jonas, say hi. J: I’m not a zoo animal and I don’t do tricks, also I reject the idea that this adds to the post in any real way. However you are very lucky because I am bored and complaining at you sounds more fun than going back to sleep. Now I’m tired and it’s 3:30 am go to bed or write the rest of this by your own damn self. That’s basically the same thing I guess.

Jonas is a bit weird. I don’t really have any idea what he is, and it’s not really within the scope of this blog post to discuss it in depth. He is some flavor of alternate personality, he is one of my closest friends, and he is a pain in the ass, much like most of my other friends. Having Jonas around is uncannily like V’s experience sharing their brain with Johnny Silverhands. Now I have a few other friends who have multiple personalities, one of whom is watching playthroughs of Cyberpunk and has appropriately described the experience as “pretty fucky”, which about sums it up. However it’s made even worse for me personally by the sheer number of similarities between Jonas and Johnny and their interactions with the people they share heads with, for (the most obvious) example, their names are really fucking similar. Jonas has matured a lot since he started appearing about 6-7 years ago but Johnny’s snark, unhelpfulness, complete disinterest in being nice, and even his body language all scream of Jonas’s original behavior, which, let’s be honest here, he still does all that anyway, he’s just nicer about it because he likes me. When Jonas and I talk, we tend to picture him as standing (or sitting or leaning against the wall or whatever) somewhere in the room with me, much as Johnny appears to V. He’s not active all the time and until very very recently was almost never “in charge”, so to speak, much like Johnny. So what we have here is somebody who acts a fuck of a lot like Jonas, has a similar name to Jonas, and interacts with their host in a manner that is almost a perfect match to how Jonas interacts with me. Somehow all of this went over my head. Then something even more uncanny happened.

Now, Jonas was originally an extremely minor character in a vast series of stories that I have made up in my head and never actually written down. He somehow evolved, without any conscious effort on my part, from a bit character who was never meant to do anything besides show up, get scolded by the authorities, and leave, to an increasingly major character, to living in my brain with me. Consequently, while he generally shares my tastes and preferences in terms of food and etc etc etc, there is an extremely major way in which we diverge: Jonas, like Johnny, and unlike me, smokes. All the time. It is Very Important to him. As such, the fact that I do not smoke and have exactly negative one billion interest in ever doing so is a source of intense frustration to him. We have had m a n y arguments about this. He knows not to push it too much and respects that it is my decision but that is not about to stop him from complaining about it loudly and with great passion. So when we encountered a scene of V and Johnny having the exact same fucking argument, ending with the incredibly blatantly Jonasesque lamentation from Johnny “Nonsmokers are the fucking worst”, it was like getting hit in the head with a brick. Actually forget the brick, it was like being hit with an entire building, and then having Jonas stick his head out the window and go “Missed me? ;)”, and then yelling back “WELL IDK BUT MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU’RE PILOTING AN ENTIRE FUCKING BUILDING IF YOU COULD TRY A LITTLE HARDER TO MISS ME THAT’D BE REALLY NICE THANKS” and then having him wink at me and assure me that head trauma builds character. It fucking doesn’t and he knows it.

After that, it was impossible to not see Jonas every time Johnny came onscreen. I still enjoy the game a lot. The setting and story are both really really cool and the loot is A+, and I really love being able to hang out in voice chat with my partner, who currently lives pretty far away, and do something fun together and experience something new. But having my relationship with Jonas, which I still have a lot of conflicting feelings about no matter how much I genuinely believe he’s a positive force in my life, reflected back at me at every turn, is bizarre, surreal, and a constant reminder of issues that have been nagging at me for a while, many of which are explicitly being brought up by the game itself. Last night we were doing a mission where V and Johnny at some point start talking and V mentions how they seem to be getting along better and Johnny suggests that maybe it’s because he’s rubbing off on V. V responds with something to the effect of “Am I becoming more like you, or are you becoming more like me?”. Jonas and I have been asking ourselves the same question for years. The only answer we were ever able to come up with is “probably both”, but the question of how much and to what extent, and if you start blending together with somebody else that much, are you really the same person anymore, and on down the rabbit hole we go, can really eat at you if you’re the kind of person who cares about that sort of thing. Which I guess we both are. And frankly we are probably not even half done with the main storyline and I doubt it’s going to stop posing these questions.

J: so I said I wasn’t going to have any more of this and went off in a huff but actually I changed my mind I have some stuff to say.

this is obviously weird for kitsie, and I guess it might be obviously weird for me too but it’s weird in an entirely different kinda way. it’s certainly surreal, and a lot of the questions it keeps bringing up are a lot to think about. Johnny is a program on a computer chip designed to be a copy of the original Johnny’s brain. this raises the question, and this may or may not be addressed later, how real is he? and is he the original Johnny, just on a computer chip now, or is he a different entity who happens to be identical to Johnny? and how is a person on a computer chip embedded on somebody’s brain really different from a person who’s a subroutine in somebody else’s brain? am I real? am I a part of Kitsie that just thinks differently for some reason? are we two facets of a whole being that’s kind of both of us and kind of neither of us? am I just a hitchhiker? I really don’t know. I have a lot of memories and backstory. things I did in the past, before I knew Kitsie. are those memories real? they feel real to me but on the other hand they didn’t actually happen. are Johnny’s memories real? they did happen but he’s a brain scan so did they actually happen to him? it’s a lot to think about, but hard to stop thinking.

and then there’s the other concern, which is that this is a game for kitsie to enjoy with her partner, and whenever this shit happens it wakes me up and I end up feeling really weird, like I’m intruding. which I am. and as wonderful and understanding as he is, I’m still very much something he is getting used to and having problems adjusting to and I really understand because fuck I’m having a problem adjusting to me too. and maybe it’s stupid but I feel bad for being the disconcerting aura of uncomfortable thoughts wafting through something that’s supposed to be a pleasant and fun evening without me in it. which frankly sums up my entire existence. fuck this I’m tired I’m out of here again go tf to sleep kit.

I had more to say but “what he said” pretty much sums it up.

In conclusion, I don’t really have any objection to the story itself. It’s an interesting concept carried out fairly well that under normal circumstances I would think was really cool, and certainly it’s been a unique experience anyway. And I guess if anything the fact that it’s so unnervingly on the nose is a sign they did a good job? I’m still having a huge amount of fun with the game and the massive backlog of sidequests combined with our minimal ability to focus means that the main quest only takes up a small portion of our playtime in any case. I just needed to get all this shit off my chest.

This has been tonight’s episode of the Kitty Rambles Podcast, I am too tired to think of any good way to end this so goodnight and thank you for tuning in!

#cyberpunk 2077 systems headmates seriously what even the fuck

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cryptnus-blog · 6 years

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'Cryptocurrency is Freedom!' -- Interview with Ambazonian Secessionists

New Post has been published on https://cryptnus.com/2018/12/cryptocurrency-is-freedom-interview-with-ambazonian-secessionists/

'Cryptocurrency is Freedom!' -- Interview with Ambazonian Secessionists

CCN recently covered a story about AmbaCoin, an Ethereum-based cryptocurrency created by secessionist leaders in the Ambazonian region of southern Cameroon. As a follow-up, we sat down with Chris Anu, the separatist movement’s Secretary of State for Communications and IT, to discuss AmbaCoin and the prospects of cryptocurrency as a means of enabling freedom and resistance movements around the world.

CCN: The Cameroonian government recently carried out a prolonged shutdown of all internet and communication services across the parts of Southern Cameroon where there has been visible support for the Ambazonian cause. Does AmbaCoin intend to function as a peer-to-peer medium of exchange on the ground in the area, or does it merely function as a fundraising tool? If it is going to serve as currency in the short term, how will you get around the government communications blockade?

Chris Anu: AmbaCoin is intended to function as a transactional currency — peer-to-peer medium of exchange, a store of value, and a standard of deferred payment. This is what will equally give it its value and market cap. As it is adapted and used by Ambazonians on a regular basis, the CFA will gradually inch out. It will be independent of the CFA and of any government. Consequently, it is not impacted by devaluation and thus, a good choice to store value. Ambazonians have found ways over time to bypass the internet blockade using VPN services.

Use of internet shut down techniques to control a population will soon be a thing of the past. There are over two dozen companies now planning to beam satellite internet to every part of the globe. SpaceX launched a pair of experimental satellites in February of 2018 that are designed to beam an ultrafast, lag-free internet connection down to Earth. Microsat-2a and Microsat-2b are intended to blanket the globe in wireless broadband connectivity. The initial satellites in the network are expected to come online next year.

Google’s Loon has teamed up with Telkom Kenya Ltd. To build a network of high-flying balloons to connect people in the east African country starting next year. Signals are expected in sub-Saharan Africa as well. In 2015, Facebook teamed up with French satellite operator Eutelsat to launch a satellite — Amos-6 — that will beam internet connectivity to more than 14 countries in sub-Saharan Africa. It was slated to finish construction and find its way into orbit by 2016 but had some delays.

SES Networks, headquartered in Betzdorf, Luxembourg, has 12 satellites circling the globe with four more launched in 2018 and another four on order. Its fleet is delivering high-throughput data services to diverse places, many of which are remote or impoverished and could not afford to install the infrastructure necessary to support cable fiber. Beneficiaries include the Cook Islands, East Timor, Papua New Guinea, Chad, Madagascar, Democratic Republic of Congo, South Sudan, the Caribbean, and many others. Sub-Saharan Africa is on schedule!

CCN: The comparison has inevitably been made with Venezuela’s petro, especially because both cryptocurrencies operate on the ERC-20 standard and are purportedly backed by the natural resource potential of their respective countries. As the Ambazonian independence movement is yet to achieve a substantial measure of success, how exactly will AmbaCoin avoid the problems faced by the petro such as general lack of liquidity/availability and lack of capacity/infrastructure to exploit the natural resource deposits that its value is based on?

Chris Anu: Obviously, with every vision of this magnitude, there are challenges. The success of this project rests of two main strengths of the Ambazonian people. The first is the resilience, determination and ingenuity of the Ambazonian people that has allowed them; given their circumstances; to survive all these years. The second is our belief in a free society where the rule of law is respected. Notwithstanding the corruption culture French-Cameroon has brought into Ambazonia, Ambazonians for the most part believe in the rule of law and freedom.

The problem Venezuela had was its corrupt society and absence of the rule of law and democratic institutions. We believe that with the establishment of democratic institutions like Ambazonia used to have and the respect of the rule of law that they have tried to maintain, foreign capital will flow in to resolve the liquidity problem.

CCN: Give us an exact idea of the demand that exists for AmbaCoin and your projection for how successful you think it could become.

Chris Anu: Major stock brokerage platform Robinhood have been offering cryptocurrency trading services since early 2018, and have continued to express their optimism towards the increasing demand for the crypto market. Some of the world’s largest banks including Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan have disclosed their ongoing initiatives to serve clients interested in cryptocurrencies as an asset class.

We believe that Ambazonians are ready to once again demonstrate their patriotism by giving up the CFA in favor of the AmbaCoin. We see adoption even within neighboring countries and countries within the Franc zone that do not want the CFA anymore. There is potentially a huge demand for AmbaCoin as our market indicators are telling us!

CCN: Let’s leave Cameroon for a minute and go over the border into Africa’s largest country Nigeria, which currently has a secessionist movement for the Republic of Biafra. Between 1967 and 1970, a bloody civil war was fought in that country over this issue, and what is generally credited with breaking the Biafran resistance was the Nigerian government’s economic blockade which prevented the Biafran government from taking part in international trade at any meaningful level.

Do you think that if the Biafran government had been able to create a state-backed cryptocurrency secured on the area’s natural resources, the outcome might have changed significantly? In the event of continued military conflict between the Cameroonian armed forces and Ambazonian loyalists, how will AmbaCoin help civilians from becoming the biggest economic victims of the war as was the case in Nigeria?

Chris Anu: A keen observer of the Ambazonian situation would already have noticed that there is an economic blockade of Ambazonia. The development of Ambazonia has never been a priority of the dictatorial and colonial regime in Yaounde. That is why Ambazonia fights today. Ambazonia used to have an airport in the city of Tiko and Bafut, a deep seaport in Victoria, prosperous industries but the colonizing power in Yaounde shut these all down. When they declared war on Ambazonia, they burned down their places of business even in Yaounde and Douala and in cities like Bamenda.

They implemented scorched earth policies by burning down villages, targeting individuals with possible economic resources and destroyed any remaining economic powerhouses and food sources. 1970 was a different environment. Today, with the restructuring of the UNHCR, there is the expectation of this body stepping in at some point to provide economic aid to impacted populations. Meanwhile, at a certain level when successful, the AmbaCoin project could apply quantitative easing to help support and rebuild Ambazonia. AmbaCoin could also use resources generated from sale to directly provide economic support to the affected peoples of Ambazonia.

CCN: On a global level, how do you think cryptocurrency adoption will impact on secession and independence movements in places like Catalonia and West Papua? In the context of such political movements, in your opinion are cryptocurrencies making power more decentralised or making the world more fractured?

Chris Anu: Every situation is different. Cryptos are not a solution to every freedom and liberation movement. Ambazonia was a UN-mandated trust territory with international borders. It had a prime minister who was its head of government and a functioning parliament; it went through three democratic peaceful transfer of power before any other African state. Therefore it has a national identity and consequently a currency acts as one of its national and state symbols. Ambazonia is basically restoring its independence voted on by the UN.

Catalonia, on the other hand, is one of Spain‘s wealthiest and most productive regions. Before the Spanish Civil War it enjoyed broad autonomy, but that was suppressed under Gen Franco. Prior to the constitutional court’s 2010 decision, a 2006 statute granted even greater powers, boosting Catalonia’s financial power houses. So its realities are very different from that of Ambazonia and a cryptocurrency might not necessarily be the right tool for its independence quest.

West Papua’s case is more similar to the Ambazonian situation in that their nation was handed to another entity without their expressed consent. The Indonesian government has been doing exactly what the colonizing government of Cameroon has done to Ambazonians — targeting killings, scorched earth policies, brutalization, maiming of citizens, imprisonment without trial, threatening freedom of expression, and so on. There is equally the current geopolitical and multilateral arrangement amongst nations that impacts their struggle for freedom. Nonetheless, there is a huge role for a cryptocurrency for West Papuans.

Meanwhile, there is good news too. West Papua’s struggle for independence is creeping up the international agenda as campaign groups, Papuan leaders-in-exile and concerned people all over the world bring to the forefront and to their leaders the injustices that are happening in West Papua. Cryptocurrency is freedom! It takes away control from centralized power and gives the power to the people and the private sector. It is independent of the control of a centralized government structure. Cryptocurrency is the next logical step in the evolution of fiat currency!

Editor’s Note: Some statements have been lightly edited for clarity.

Featured Image from Shutterstock

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aliceviceroy · 6 years

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Recent attacks on religion identify it with what is perceived to be its lowest common denominator: magical thinking. This means believing in supernatural agents who can be persuaded to intervene upon the natural chain of events – to turn the course of a battle, end a drought, free slaves or revive the dead. Magical thinking operates in terms of cause and effect, which is also the domain of science. This makes the conflict between religion and science inevitable.

But defenders of religion often argue that magical thinking isn’t the essence of religion. Other things can be regarded as more important in religious life than beliefs about the supernatural: morality, cultural identity, philosophical consolation, ecstatic experiences, social support systems, etc. You can be religious, say the defenders, without expecting to affect the physical world through ritual behavior. What you get from religion is nothing like what you get from technology or science.

This doesn’t satisfy the enemies of religion, who see all the good effects of religion (don’t get them started on the bad ones!) as tainted by their supposed dependence on beliefs about the supernatural, just as they see “holy books” as tainted – whatever their literary or moral value – by the absurd accounts of their origins. Besides, they say, the percentage of religious people who don’t indulge in magical thinking is vanishingly small. The idea that religious literature is to be read metaphorically rather than literally only appeals to an elite, educated contingent. You can’t say that the “essence” of religion is missing from the vast majority of its instances.

And yet there is a long tradition of religious people who claimed exactly that – claimed that the majority of their putative co-religionists (not to mention members of other religions) were laboring in the dark. Kierkegaard, for example, claimed that there were no real Christians in the “Christian nation” of Denmark. Such language is obviously exaggerated, but it points to something that the enemies of religion might find worthy of their attention.

I suggest that it isn’t by accident that religious people often get past magical thinking in order to concentrate on other topics. Rather, the battle against magical thinking is itself part of religion. Careful reading shows it to be a predominant concern of even the most “mythic” religious writers (especially in the Biblical traditions), and a source of their moral, philosophical and poetic energy. I want to call it the essence of religion (which really just means I think it’s the most important part). And I find its classical expressions far superior to the battles currently being waged by narrow-minded critics.

The first great Biblical example of what I mean is the story of “the binding of Isaac”. It presupposes a cultural background in which supernatural aid is sought by sacrificing animals and, in extreme cases, humans. It conveys the message that, at least in the human case, such behavior is unwarranted (in fact, henceforth forbidden); but that some aspect of the willingness to sacrifice can be captured and made use of, even (or especially) in the absence of actual killings. It also suggests the value of skepticism toward the traditions of one’s social group.

Animal sacrifices continued in the Jerusalem Temple until its destruction in 70 AD, but the Israelite prophets had started using them as an ironic counterpoint in the 8th century BC, when Hosea pictured God saying “For I desire mercy, and not sacrifice, and the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings”. Similarly, the book of Samuel has the prophet rebuking the king with: “Has Yahweh as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of Yahweh? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifices, and to listen than the fat of rams.” And Amos disparages not just the sacrifices but the whole service, with its liturgical singing: “Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and cereal offerings, I will not accept them, and the peace offerings of your fatted beasts I will not look upon. Take away from me the noise of your songs; to the melody of your harps I will not listen. But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.” Here poetry in the service of morality trumps all magical thinking.

A final example comes in the form of the book of Deuteronomy. Modern scholarship suggests that it was written long after the earliest parts of the Bible, being associated with the scroll that, according to the book of Kings, was “discovered” in the Temple during the reign of Josiah (one of the last kings of Judah). The text makes use of the fiction of a second giving of the Law by Moses, 40 years after the events at Sinai, to deploy a rhetoric that emphasizes “we who gather here today”, the present generation, as its real subject. Textual analysis shows that Deuteronomy is a revision of the earlier laws in important ways. These include replacing all local shrines (the substance of religion as hitherto known in Israel) with the single Temple in Jerusalem. (There is even a provision for priests thrown out of work by this revolution). The consequent permission of meat-eating (which had previously required the ritual blessing of a local priest) without priestly assistance (and thus without the necessity of traveling to Jerusalem) is only one aspect of Deuteronomy’s general diminution of myth and ritual, in favor of morality and mental attitude (i.e. “love of God”). Its rewriting of the Ten Commandments, for example, replaces a mythic rationale for the Sabbath (God’s rest after creation) with a social rationale: because you were slaves in Egypt. Or again, the purpose of animal sacrifice changes from that of providing a “pleasing odor” for the deity in the sky, to a system of feeding the poor.

In these and other cases it isn’t just that enlightened thinkers had an admirable set of priorities; what’s important is the reversal of perspective they effected. Such reversals are useful, even essential, to the general process of moral education. What is first experienced as an external, abstract rule gets transformed into something felt and desired. Morality goes from being a parental “because I said so” to a pattern freely chosen because it is its own reward – life feels better that way. And “faith” (that purposely ambiguous term) may be transformed from an authoritarian “belief without evidence” to the kind of “faith” or hopeful confidence I can have in a cause, in a person, or in myself.

This is not news. 2300 years ago Aristotle explained the emotive requirements of moral education, and pointed out some of the consequences. Educating the emotions isn’t like teaching math. It works by means of poetry and music as much as by logical argument. There must be some kind of emulation of heroes – a flaw in the system, logically speaking (since without prior guidance how is one to pick the right hero?), but there it is. Everybody can see that the dependence on moral exemplars can easily devolve into rigid conservatism, if not corrupt authoritarianism. But this problem isn’t specific to religion. What it means is that all moral education must be dialectical, must involve the reversal of perspective in which one first gains a distance from what was simply taken on authority, and then grows into a new way of looking at and feeling about things – a way that is recognized as authentic, as “right for me”.

The magical thinking in religion provides the background for a process of emotional maturation. This process replaces the desire for control and security (which initially gives rise to magical thinking) with a moral and aesthetic perspective of acceptance and gratitude, correlative with the metaphorical reinterpretation of mythic symbols. The hurdle of magic is used as a launching pad onto the path of existential discovery. The possibilities of meaningful living, of love and generosity, turn out to be as “magically” wonderful as the literal-minded magic of stories learned as a child.

Now the objection was that such metaphorical reinterpretation only occurs very infrequently, amongst the elite, the educated, the intellectually inclined. Such people don’t need an elaborate mythic framework to work through moral and philosophical issues anyway. They can read novels, read Plato and Aristotle, sample the existential and moral musings of world culture. They can still celebrate weddings and mourn the dead. They can gather together in affinity groups, and give themselves a narrative and thus an identity.

All well and good, but still not a replacement for religion. The final test of such efforts lies not just with the experience of this rational elite itself, but with the viability of their community several generations hence. Here we have the mostly negative evidence of groups who tried founding religious communities without the pretense of a divine mandate, like the Transcendentalists and the Hippies. One of the problems such groups face is that their discourse speaks primarily to the individual in her subjectivity, and lacks a clear objective pole – even if the only function of this objective pole would be to provide a springboard for dialectical development, a stodgy parental solidity to be punctured and turned upside-down in creative reinterpretation.

The point is that the semiotic space for such dialectical development has been built into religious language and symbolism, honed and augmented over centuries. To invent a social equivalent of religion out of thin air is akin to inventing a new language – much harder than it looks. So the rational elite may indeed be missing out on something – the “essence” of religion. But my concern is not so much for them and their grandchildren; it is only with their view of religious experience and religious communities.

My suggestion is that while there is, and has always been, a great difference between the esoteric (metaphorical) and exoteric (literal) modes of religious understanding, there is also a continuum running between them. Many people move along this continuum in the course of their lives, beginning with the debunking of Santa Claus. As they learn the moral interpretations of mythic symbols and stories, they grow to put more emphasis on those interpretations than on the assertion that the stories really happened. Eventually they may come to feel that “God is within”, animating their moral judgment and feeling for the world. But in most cases this doesn’t prevent them from telling their children about Santa Claus, nor does it impel them to attack the “beliefs” of their less-advanced co-religionists.

Therefore it is wrong to classify everyone based on answers to polling questions about religious “belief”. What people say they “believe” doesn’t necessarily capture the functional role of the “beliefs”, their symbolism and moral perspective. It doesn’t tell you where they lie on the magical/moral continuum. So the picture of a tiny enlightened elite and literal-minded masses is also wrong.

Religion is both a process and a communal possession. Whether it can be replaced with cultural frameworks that don’t involve magical thinking is debatable. But any replacement would still have to address the processes of ethical education, intergenerational change and the dialectical movements upon which they depend. And it might well find that, without a framework for taming and transmuting magical thinking, its society experiences more superstition and authoritarianism than ever.

#religion #philosophy #theology

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michaellozano171 · 7 years

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Salvation

Bible Study Salvation sal - vā´shun : I. IN THE OLD TESTAMENT 1. General 2. Individualism 3. Faith 4. Moral Law 5. Sacrifices 6. Ritual Law II. INTERMEDIATE LITERATURE 1. General 2. The Law III. THE TEACHING OF CHRIST 1. The Baptist 2. Kingdom of God 3. Present and Future 4. Individualism 5. Moral Progress 6. Forgiveness 7. Person of Christ 8. Notes IV. PAUL 1. General 2. Moral Progress 3. The Spirit 4. Mystical Union 5. Forgiveness 6. Atonement 7. Summary 8. Notes V. THE REST OF THE NEW TESTAMENT : SUMMARY 1. John 2. Hebrews 3. Peter 4. Summary LITERATURE In English Versions of the Bible the words "salvation" "save," are not technical theological terms, but denote simply "deliverance," in almost any sense the latter word can have. In systematic theology, however, "salvation" denotes the whole process by which man is delivered from all that would prevent his attaining to the highest good that God has prepared for him. Or, by a transferred sense, "salvation" denotes the actual enjoyment of that good. So, while these technical senses are often associated with the Greek or Hebrew words translated "save," etc., yet they are still more often used in connection with other words or represented only by the general sense of a passage. And so a collection of the original terms for "save," etc., is of value only for the student doing minute detailed work, while it is the purpose of the present article to present a general view of the Biblical doctrine of salvation. I. In the Old Testament 1. General: (1) As long as revelation had not raised the veil that separates this life from the next, the Israelite thought of his highest good as long life in a prosperous Palestine, as described most typically in Deuteronomy 28:1-14 . But a definite religious idea was present also, for the "land of milk and honey," even under angelic protection, was worthless without access to God (Exodus 33:1-4 ), to know whom gives happiness (Isaiah 11:9; Habakkuk 2:14; Jeremiah 31:34 ). Such a concept is normal for most of the Old Testament, but there are several significant enlargements of it. That Israel should receive God's characteristic of righteousness is a part of the ideal (Isaiah 1:26; Isaiah 4:3 , Isaiah 4:4; Isaiah 32:1-8; Isaiah 33:24; Jeremiah 31:33 , Jeremiah 31:34; Ezekiel 36:25 , Ezekiel 36:26; Zec 8; Daniel 9:24; Psalms 51:10-12 ). Good was found in the extension of Israel's good to the surrounding nations (Micah 4:1-4; Isaiah 2:2-4; Isaiah 45:5 , Isaiah 45:6; Zechariah 2:11; Zechariah 8:22 , Zechariah 8:23; Isa 60; Isaiah 66:19-21; Zechariah 14:16 , Zechariah 14:17 , etc.), even to the extension of the legitimate sacrificial worship to the soil of Egypt (Isaiah 19:19-22 ). Palestine was insufficient for the enjoyment of God's gifts, and a new heaven and a new earth were to be received (Isaiah 65:17; Isaiah 66:22 ), and a share in the glories was not to be denied even to the dead (Isaiah 26:19; Daniel 12:2 ). And, among the people so glorified, God would dwell in person (Isaiah 60:19 , Isaiah 60:20; Zechariah 2:10-12 ). (2) Salvation, then, means deliverance from all that interferes with the enjoyment of these blessings. So it takes countless forms - deliverance from natural plagues, from internal dissensions, from external enemies, or from the subjugation of conquerors (the exile, particularly). As far as enemies constitute the threatening danger, the prayer for deliverance is often based on their evil character (Psalms 101:1-8 , etc.). But for the individual all these evils are summed up in the word "death," which was thought to terminate all relation to God and all possibility of enjoying His blessings (Psalms 115:17; Isaiah 38:18 , etc.). And so "death" became established as the antinomy to "salvation," and in this sense the word has persisted, although the equation "loss of salvation = physical death" has long been transcended. But death and its attendant evils are worked by God's wrath, and so it is from this wrath that salvation is sought (Joshua 7:26 , etc.). And thus, naturally, salvation is from everything that raises that wrath, above all from sin (Ezekiel 36:25 , Ezekiel 36:26 , etc.). 2. Individualism: (1) At first the "unit of salvation" was the nation (less prominently the family), i.e. a man though righteous could lose salvation through the faults of others. A father could bring a curse on his children (2 Samuel 21:1-14 ), a king on his subjects (2 Sam 24), or an unknown sinner could bring guilt on an entire community (Deuteronomy 21:1-9 ). (On the other hand, ten righteous would have saved Sodom (Genesis 18:32 ).) And the principle of personal responsibility was grasped but slowly. It is enunciated partly in Deuteronomy 24:16 (compare Jeremiah 31:29 , Jeremiah 31:30 ), definitely in Ezekiel 14:12-20; 18; 33:1-20, and fairly consistently in the Psalms. But even Ezekiel still held that five-and-twenty could defile the whole nation (Ezekiel 8:16 ), and he had not the premises for resolving the problem - that temporal disasters need not mean the loss of salvation. (2) But even when it was realized that a man lost salvation through his own fault, the converse did not follow. Salvation came, not by the man's mere merit, but because the man belonged to a nation peculiarly chosen by God. God had made a covenant with Israel and His fidelity insured salvation: the salvation comes from God because of His promise or (in other words) because of His name. Indeed, the great failing of the people was to trust too blindly to this promise, an attitude denounced continually by the prophets throughout (from, say, Amos 3:2 to Matthew 3:9 ). And yet even the prophets admit a real truth in the attitude, for, despite Israel's sins, eventual salvation is certain. Ezekiel 20 states this baldly: there has been nothing good in Israel and there is nothing good in her at the prophet's own day, but, notwithstanding, God will give her restoration (compare Isaiah 8:17 , Isaiah 8:18; Jeremiah 32:6-15 , etc.). 3. Faith: Hence, of the human conditions, whole-hearted trust in God is the most important. ( Belief in God is, of course, never argued in the Bible.) Inconsistent with such trust are, for instance, seeking aid from other nations ( Isaiah 30:1-5 ), putting reliance in human skill (2 Chronicles 16:12 ), or forsaking Palestine through fear (Jer 42). In Isaiah 26:20 entire passivity is demanded, and in 2 Kings 13:19 lukewarmness in executing an apparently meaningless command is rebuked. 4. Moral Law: (1) Next in importance is the attainment of a moral standard, expressed normally in the various codes of the Law. But fulfillment of the letter of the commandment was by no means all that was required. For instance, the Law permitted the selling of a debtor into slavery (Deuteronomy 15:12 ), but the reckless use of the creditor's right is sharply condemned (Nehemiah 5:1-13 ). The prophets are never weary of giving short formulas that will exclude such supralegalism and reduce conduct to a pure motive: "Hate the evil, and love the good, and establish justice in the gate" (Amos 5:15 ); "To do justly, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with thy God" (Micah 6:8 ). And the chief emphasis on the Law as written is found in the later books, especially Ps 119 (compare Psalms 147:20 ). (2) Certain breaches of the Law had no pardon, but were visited with death at once, even despite repentance and confession (Josh 7). But for the most part it is promised that repentance will remove the guilt of the sin if the sin be forsaken (Ezek 18) or, in the case of a sin that would not be repeated, if contrition be felt (2 Sam 12). Suffering played a part in salvation by bringing knowledge of sin to the conscience, the exile being the most important example (Ezekiel 36:31 ). But almost always it is assumed that the possibility of keeping the Law is in man's own power, Deuteronomy 30:11-14 stating this explicitly, while the Wisdom Books equate virtue with learning. Consequently, an immense advance was made when man felt the need of God's help to keep the Law, the need of the inscription of the Laws on the heart ( Jeremiah 31:31-34 ). So an outlook was opened to a future in which God would make the nation righteous (see references in 1, above). 5. Sacrifices: (1) The acceptance of repentance as expiating past sins was an act of God's mercy. And so His mercy instituted other and additional means of expiation, most notably that of the sacrifices. But a theology of sacrifice is conspicuously absent from the whole Old Testament, for Leviticus 17:11 is too incidental and too obscure to be any exception. The Christian (or very late Jewish) interpretations of the ritual laws lack all solidity of exegetical foundation, despite their one-time prevalence. Nor is the study of origins of much help for the meaning attached to the rites by the Jews in historic times. General ideas of offering, of self-denial, of propitiation of wrath, and of entering into communion with God assuredly existed. But in the advanced stages of the religion there is no evidence that sacrifices were thought to produce their effect because of any of these things, but solely because God had commanded the sacrifices. (2) Most sins required a sacrifice as part of the act of repentance, although in case of injury done the neighbor, only after reparation had been made. It is not quite true that for conscious sins no sacrifices were appointed, for in Leviticus 5:1; Leviticus 6:1-3 , sins are included that could not be committed through mere negligence. And so such rules as Numbers 15:30 , Numbers 15:31 must not be construed too rigorously. (3) Sacrifices as means of salvation are taught chiefly by Ezekiel, while at the rebuilding of the temple (Haggai, Zechariah) and the depression that followed (Malachi), they were much in the foreground, but the pre-exilic prophets have little to say about their positive value ( Jeremiah 7:22 is the nadir ). Indeed, in preexilic times the danger was the exaltation of sacrifice at the expense of morality, especially with the peace offering, which could be turned into a drunken revel (Amos 5:21-24; Isaiah 22:13; compare Proverbs 7:14 ). Attempts were made to "strengthen" the sacrifices to Yahweh by the use of ethnic rites (Hosea 4:14; Isaiah 65:1-5 ), even with the extreme of human sacrifice (Jeremiah 7:31; Ezekiel 20:26 ). But insistence on the strict centralization of worship and increasing emphasis laid on the sin and trespass offerings did away with the worst of the abuses. And many of the Psalms, especially Ps 66 and Ps 118, give beautiful evidence of the devotion that could be nourished by the sacrificial rites. 6. Ritual Law: Of the other means of salvation the ritual law (not always sharply distinguishable from the moral law) bulks rather large in the legislation, but is not prominent in the prophets. Requisite to salvation was the abstention from certain acts, articles of food, etc., such abstinence seeming to lie at the background of the term "holiness." But a ritual breach was often a matter of moral duty (burying the dead, etc.), and, for such breaches, ritual means of purification are provided and the matter dropped. Evidently such things lay rather on the circumference of the religion, even to Ezekiel, with his anxious zeal against the least defilement. The highest ritual point is touched by Zechariah 14:20 , Zechariah 14:21 , where all of Jerusalem is so holy that not a pot would be unfit to use in the temple (compare Jeremiah 31:38-40 ). Yet, even with this perfect holiness, sacrifices would still have a place as a means by which the holiness could be increased. Indeed, this more "positive" view of sacrifices was doubtless present from the first. II. Intermediate Literature. 1. General: (1) The great change, compared with the earlier period, is that the idea of God had become more transcendent. But this did not necessarily mean an increase in religious value, for there was a corresponding tendency to take God out of relation to the world by an intellectualizing process. This, when combined with the persistence of the older concept of salvation in this life only, resulted in an emptying of the religious instinct and in indifferentism. This tendency is well represented in Ecclesiastes, more acutely in Sirach, and in New Testament times it dominated the thought of the Sadducees. On the other hand the expansion of the idea of salvation to correspond with the higher conception of God broke through the limitations of this life and created the new literary form of apocalyptics, represented in the Old Testament especially by Zechariah 9 through 14; Isaiah 24 through 27, and above all by Daniel. And in the intermediate literature all shades of thought between the two extremes are represented. But too much emphasis can hardly be laid on the fact that this intermediate teaching is in many regards simply faithful to the Old Testament. Almost anything that can be found in the Old Testament - with the important exception of the note of joyousness of Deuteronomy, etc. - can be found again here. (2) Of the conceptions of the highest good the lowest is the Epicureanism of Sirach. The highest is probably that of 2 Esdras 7:91-98 Revised Version: "To behold the face of him whom in their lifetime they served" the last touch of materialism being eliminated. Indeed, real materialism is notably absent in the period, even Enoch 10:17-19 being less exuberant than the fancies of such early Christian writers as Papias. Individualism is generally taken for granted, but that the opposite opinion was by no means dormant, even at a late period, is shown by Matthew 3:9 . The idea of a special privilege of Israel, however, of course pervades all the literature, Sibylline Oracles 5 and Jubilees being the most exclusive books and the Testament of the Twelve Patriarchs, the most broad-hearted. In place of national privilege, though, is sometimes found the still less edifying feature of party privilege (Ps Sol; Enoch 94-105), the most offensive case being the assertion of Enoch 90:6-9 that the (inactive) Israel will be saved by the exertions of the "little lamb" Pharisees, before whom every knee shall bow in the Messianic kingdom. 2. The Law: (1) The conceptions of the moral demands for salvation at times reach a very high level, especially in the Testament of the Twelve Patriarchs (making every allowance for Christian interpolations). "The spirit of love worketh together with the law of God in long-suffering unto the salvation of men" (Test. Gad Matthew 4:7 ) is hardly unworthy of Paul, and even Jubilees can say, "Let each love his brother in mercy and justice, and let none wish the other evil" (Jub 36:8). But the great tendency is to view God's law merely as a series of written statutes, making no demands except those gained from a rigid construing of the letter. In Luke 10:29 , "Who is my neighbor?" is a real question - if he is not my neighbor I need not love him! So duties not literally commanded were settled by utilitarian motives, as outside the domain of religion, and the unhealthy phenomenon of works of supererogation made its appearance ( Luke 17:10 ). The writer of Wisdom can feel smugly assured of salvation, because idolatry had been abstained from (Wisd 15:4; contrast Paul's polemic in Rom 2). And discussions about "greatest commandments" caused character in its relation to religion to be forgotten. (2) As God's commands were viewed as statutes the distinction between the moral and the ritual was lost, and the ritual law attained enormous and familiar proportions. The beautiful story of Judith is designed chiefly to teach abstinence from ritually unclean food. And the most extreme case is in Jubilees 6:34-38 - all of Israel's woes come from keeping the feasts by the actual moon instead of by a correct (theoretical) moon (!). (3) Where self-complacency ceased and a strong moral sense was present, despair makes its appearance with extraordinary frequency. The period is the period of penitential prayers, with an undercurrent of doubt as to how far mercy can be expected (Song of Three Children verses 3-22; Pr Man; Baruch 3:1-8, etc.). "What profit is it unto us, if there be promised us an immortal time, whereas we have done the works that bring death?" (2 Esdras 7:119 the Revised Version (British and American)). The vast majority of men are lost (2 Esdras 9:16) and must be forgotten (2 Esdras 8:55), and Ezra can trust for his own salvation only by a special revelation (7:77 the Revised Version (British and American)). So, evidently, Paul's pre-Christian experience was no unique occurrence. (4) Important for the New Testament background is the extreme lack of prominence of the sacrifices. They are never given a theological interpretation (except in Philo, where they cease to be sacrifices). Indeed, in Sirach 35 they are explicitly said to be devotions for the righteous only, apparently prized only as an inheritance from the past and "because of the commandment" (Sirach 35:5; yet compare 38:11). When the temple was destroyed and the sacrifices ceased, Judaism went on its way almost unaffected, showing that the sacrifices meant nothing essential to the people. And, even in earlier times, the Essenes rejected sacrifices altogether, without losing thereby their recognition as Jews. III. The Teaching of Christ. 1. The Baptist: The Baptist proclaimed authoritatively the near advent of the kingdom of God, preceded by a Messianic judgment that would bring fire for the wicked and the Holy Spirit for the righteous. Simple but incisive moral teaching and warning against trusting in national privileges, with baptism as an outward token of repentance, were to prepare men to face this judgment securely. But we have no data to determine how much farther (if any) the Baptist conceived his teaching to lead. 2. Kingdom of God: It was in the full heat of this eschatological revival that the Baptist had fanned, that Christ began to teach, and He also began with the eschatological phrase, "The kingdom of God is at hand." Consequently, His teaching must have been taken at once in an eschatological sense, and it is rather futile to attempt to limit such implications to passages where modern eschatological phrases are used unambiguously. "The kingdom of God is at hand" had the inseparable connotation "Judgment is at hand," and in this context, "Repent ye" (Mark 1:15 ) must mean "lest ye be judged." Hence, our Lord's teaching about salvation had primarily a future content: positively, admission into the kingdom of God, and negatively, deliverance from the preceding judgment. So the kingdom of God is the "highest good" of Christ's teaching but, with His usual reserve, He has little to say about its externals. Man's nature is to be perfectly adapted to his spiritual environment (see RESURRECTION ), and man is to be with Christ (Luke 22:30 ) and the patriarchs (Matthew 8:11 ). But otherwise - and again as usual - the current descriptions are used without comment, even when they rest on rather materialistic imagery (Luke 22:16 , Luke 22:30 ). Whatever the kingdom is, however, its meaning is most certainly not exhausted by a mere reformation of the present order of material things. 3. Present and Future: But the fate of man at judgment depends on what man is before judgment, so that the practical problem is salvation from the conditions that will bring judgment; i.e. present and future salvation are inseparably connected, and any attempt to make rigid distinctions between the two results in logomachies. Occasionally even Christ speaks of the kingdom of God as present, in the sense that citizens of the future kingdom are living already on this earth (Matthew 11:11; Luke 17:21 (?); the meaning of the latter verse is very dubious). Such men are "saved" already (Luke 19:9; Luke 7:50 (?)), i.e. such men were delivered from the bad moral condition that was so extended that Satan could be said to hold sway over the world (Luke 10:18; Luke 11:21 ). 4. Individualism: That the individual was the unit in this deliverance needs no emphasis: Still, the divine privilege of the Jews was a reality and Christ's normal work was limited to them (Matthew 10:5; Matthew 15:26 , etc.). He admitted even that the position of the Jewish religious leaders rested on a real basis (Matthew 23:3 ). But the "good tidings" were so framed that their extension to all men would have been inevitable, even had there not been an explicit command of Christ in this regard. On the other hand, while the message involved in every case strict individual choice, yet the individual who accepted it entered into social relations with the others who had so chosen. So salvation involved admission to a community of service (Mark 9:35 , etc.). And in the latter part of Christ's ministry, He withdrew from the bulk of His disciples to devote Himself to the training of an inner circle of Twelve, an act explicable only on the assumption that these were to be the leaders of the others after He was taken away. Such passages as Matthew 16:18; Matthew 18:17 merely corroborate this. 5. Moral Progress: Of the conditions for the individual, the primary (belief in God being taken for granted) was a correct moral ideal. Exclusion from salvation came from the Pharisaic casuistry which had invented limits to righteousness. Exodus 20:13 had never contemplated permitting angry thoughts if actual murder was avoided, and so on. In contrast is set the idea of character, of the single eye ( Matthew 6:22 ), of the pure heart (Matthew 5:8 ). Only so can the spiritual house be built on a rock foundation. But the mere ideal is not enough; persistent effort toward it and a certain amount of progress are demanded imperatively. Only those who have learned to forgive can ask for forgiveness (Matthew 6:12; Matthew 18:35 ). They who omit natural works of mercy have no share in the kingdom (Mt 25:31-46), for even idle words will be taken into account (Matthew 12:36 ), and the most precious possession that interferes with moral progress is to be sacrificed ruthlessly (Matthew 18:8 , Matthew 18:9 , etc.). Men are known by their fruits (Matthew 7:20 ); it is he that doeth the will of the Father that shall enter into the kingdom (Matthew 7:21 ), and the final ideal - which is likewise the goal - is becoming a son of the Father in moral likeness (Matthew 5:45 ). That this progress is due to God's aid is so intimately a part of Christ's teaching on the entire dependence of the soul on God that it receives little explicit mention, but Christ refers even His own miracles to the Father's power (Luke 11:20 ). 6. Forgiveness: Moral effort, through God's aid, is an indispensable condition for salvation. But complete success in the moral struggle is not at all a condition, in the sense that moral perfection is required. For Christ's disciples, to whom the kingdom is promised (Luke 12:32 ), the palsied man who receives remission of sins (Mark 2:5 ), Zaccheus who is said to have received salvation (Luke 19:9 ), were far from being models of sinlessness. The element in the character that Christ teaches as making up for the lack of moral perfection is becoming "as a little child" (compare Mark 10:15 ). Now the point here is not credulousness (for belief is not under discussion), nor is it meekness (for children are notoriously not meek). And it most certainly is not the pure passivity of the newly born infant, for it is gratuitous to assume that only such infants were meant even in Luke 18:15 , while in Matthew 18:2 (where the child comes in answer to a call) this interpretation is excluded. Now, in the wider teaching of Christ the meaning is made clear enough. Salvation is for the poor in spirit, for those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for the prodigal knowing his wretchedness. It is for the penitent publican, while the self-satisfied Pharisee is rejected. A sense of need and a desire that God will give are the characteristics. A child does not argue that it has earned its father's benefits but looks to him in a feeling of dependence, with a readiness to do his bidding. So it is the soul that desires all of righteousness, strives toward it, knows that it falls short, and trusts in its Father for the rest, that is the savable soul. 7. Person of Christ: Christ speaks of the pardon of the publican (Luke 18:9 ff) and of the prodigal welcomed by the Father ( Luke 15:20 ), both without intermediary. And it is perhaps not necessary to assume that all of those finding the strait gate (Matthew 7:14 ) were explicitly among Christ's disciples. But would Christ have admitted that anyone who had come to know Him and refused to obey Him would have been saved? To ask this question is to answer it in the negative (Mark 9:40 is irrelevant). Real knowledge of the Father is possible only through the unique knowledge of the Son ( Luke 10:21 , Luke 10:22 ), and lack of faith in the Son forfeits all blessings (Mark 6:5 , Mark 6:6; Mark 9:23 ). Faith in Him brings instant forgiveness of sins (Mark 2:5 ), and love directed to Him is an indisputable sign that forgiveness has taken place (Luke 7:47 ). But Christ thought of Himself as Messiah and, if the term "Messiah" is not to be emptied of its meaning, this made Him judge of the world (such verses as Mark 8:38 are hardly needed for direct evidence). And, since for Christ's consciousness an earthly judgeship is unthinkable, a transcendental judgeship is the sole alternative, corroborated by the use of the title Son of Man. But passage from simple humanity to the transcendental glory of the Son-of-Man Messiah involved a change hardly expressible except by death and resurrection. And the expectation of death was in Christ's mind from the first, as is seen by Mark 2:18 , Mark 2:19 (even without Mark 2:20 ). That He could have viewed His death as void of significance for human salvation is simply inconceivable, and the ascription of Mark 10:45 to Pauline influence is in defiance of the facts. Nor is it credible that Christ conceived that in the interval between His death and His Parousia He would be out of relation to His own. To Him the unseen world was in the closest relation to the visible world, and His passage into glory would strengthen, not weaken, His power. So there is a complete justification of Mark 14:22-25 : to Christ His death had a significance that could be paralleled only by the death of the Covenant victim in Exodus 24:6-8 , for by it an entirely new relation was established between God and man. 8. Notes: (1) Salvation from physical evil was a very real part, however subordinate, of Christ's teaching ( Mark 1:34 , etc.). (2) Ascetic practices as a necessary element in salvation can hardly claim Christ's authority. It is too often forgotten that the Twelve were not Christ's only disciples. Certainly not all of the hundred and twenty of Acts 1:15 (compare Acts 1:21 ), nor of the five hundred of 1 Corinthians 15:6 , were converted after the Passion. And they all certainly could not have left their homes to travel with Christ. So the demands made in the special case of the Twelve (still less in such an extremely special case as Mark 10:21 ) in no way represent Christ's normal practice, whatever readiness for self-sacrifice may have been asked of all. So the representations of Christ as ruthlessly exacting all from everyone are quite unwarranted by the facts. And it is well to remember that it is Matthew 11:19 that contains the term of reproach that His adversaries gave Him. IV. Paul. Instead of laying primal stress on Paul's peculiar contributions to soteriology, it will be preferable to start from such Pauline passages as simply continue the explicit teaching of Christ. For it is largely due to the common reversal of this method that the present acute "Jesus-Paulus" controversy exists. 1. General: That Paul expected the near advent of the kingdom of God with a judgment preceding, and that salvation meant to him primarily deliverance from this judgment, need not be argued. And, accordingly, emphasis is thrown sometimes on the future deliverance and sometimes on the present conditions for the deliverance (contrast Romans 5:9 and Romans 8:24 ), but the practical problem is the latter. More explicitly than in Christ's recorded teaching the nature and the blessings of the kingdom are described (see KINGDOM OF GOD ), but the additional matter is without particular religious import. A certain privilege of the Jews appears (Romans 3:1-8; 9-11), but the practical content of the privilege seems to be eschatological only (Romans 11:26 ). Individual conversion is of course taken for granted, but the life after that becomes highly corporate. See CHURCH . 2. Moral Progress: (1) The moral ideal is distinctly that of character. Paul, indeed, is frequently obliged to give directions as to details, but the detailed directions are referred constantly to the underlying principle, Romans 14 or 1 Corinthians 8:1-13 being excellent examples of this, while "love is the fulfillment of the law" ( Romans 13:10 ) is the summary. (2) Persistent moral effort is indispensable, and the new life absolutely must bring forth fruit to God (Romans 6:4; Romans 13:12; Galatians 5:24; Colossians 3:5; Ephesians 2:3; Ephesians 4:17 , Ephesians 4:22-32; Titus 2:11-14 ). Only by good conduct can one please God (1 Thessalonians 4:1 ), and the works of even Christians are to be subjected to a searching test (1 Corinthians 3:13; 1 Corinthians 4:5; 2 Corinthians 5:10 ) in a judgment not to be faced without the most earnest striving (1 Corinthians 10:12; Philippians 2:12 ), not even by Paul himself (1 Corinthians 9:27; Philippians 3:12-14 ). And the possibility of condemnation because of a lack of moral attainment must not be permitted to leave the mind (1 Corinthians 3:17; Galatians 5:21; compare Romans 8:12 , Romans 8:13; Romans 11:20; 1 Corinthians 10:12; Galatians 6:7-9 ). Consequently, growth in actual righteousness is as vital in Paul's soteriology as it is in that teaching of Christ: Christians have "put off the old man with his doings" ( Colossians 3:9 ). 3. The Spirit: That this growth is God's work is, however, a point where Paul has expanded Christ's quiet assumption rather elaborately. In particular, what Christ had made the source of His own supernatural power - the Holy Spirit - is specified as the source of the power of the Christian's ordinary life, as well as of the more special endowments (see SPIRITUAL GIFTS ). In the Spirit the Christian has received the blessing promised to Abraham (Galatians 3:14 ); by it the deeds of the body can be put to death and all virtues flow into the soul (Galatians 5:16-26 ), if a man walks according to it (1 Corinthians 6:19 , 1 Corinthians 6:20; 1 Thessalonians 4:8 ). The palmary passage is Romans 7 through 8. In Romans 7 Paul looks back with a shudder on his pre-Christian helplessness (it is naturally the extreme of exegetical perversity to argue that he dreaded not the sin itself but only God's penalty on sin). But the Spirit gives strength to put to death the deeds of the body (Romans 8:13 ), to disregard the things of the flesh (Romans 8:5 ), and to fulfill the ordinance of the Law (Romans 8:4 ). Such moral power is the test of Christianity: as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God (Romans 8:14 ). 4. Mystical Union: This doctrine of the Spirit is simply that what Christ did on earth would be carried on with increased intensity after the Passion. That this work could be thought of out of relation to Christ, or that Christ Himself could have so thought of it (see above, III, 7) is incredible. So the exalted Christ appears as the source of moral and spiritual power (Paul speaks even more of Christ's resurrection than of the Passion), the two sources (Christ and the Spirit) being very closely combined in 2 Corinthians 3:17; Romans 8:9; Galatians 4:6 . Our old man has been crucified, so putting an end to the bondage of sin, and we can prevent sin from reigning in our mortal bodies, for our burial into Christ's death was to enable us to walk in newness of life (Romans 6:2-14 ). The resurrection is a source of power, and through Christ's strength all things can be done (Philippians 4:13 , Philippians 4:10 ). Christ is the real center of the believer's personality (Galatians 2:20 ); the man has become a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17; compare Colossians 2:20; Colossians 3:3 ); we were joined to another that we might bring forth fruit to God (Romans 7:4 ). And by contact with the glory of the Lord we are transformed into the same image (2 Corinthians 3:18 ), the end being conformation to the image of the Son (Romans 8:30 ). 5. Forgiveness: (1) This growth in actual holiness, then, is fundamental with Paul: "If any man hath not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his" (Romans 8:9 ). And the acquisition of strength through union with Christ is vitally connected with the remission of sins. In Romans 7:1-6 (compare Colossians 2:11 , Colossians 2:12 ), the mystical union with Christ makes His death ours (compare Colossians 3:3 ) and so removes us from the Law (compare Romans 10:4; 1 Corinthians 15:56 ), which has no relation to the dead. And by the life-giving power of this union the strength of sin is broken (Romans 6:6 ). (2) The condition in man that makes forgiveness possible Paul calls "faith" - a very complicated term. Its chief use, however, is in opposition to "works" (most clearly in Rom 9:30 through 10:13). The Jews' "pursuit after righteousness" - the attempt to wring salvation from God as wages earned - was vain (Romans 10:13 ), and in contrast is the appeal to God, the conscious relinquishment of all claim (Romans 4:5 ). The soul looks trustingly for salvation to its Father, precisely the attitude of the "children" in the teaching of Christ. But no more than in the teaching of Christ is faith a purely passive virtue, for man must be "obedient" to it (Romans 1:5; Romans 10:16; 1 Thessalonians 2:13 ). And for the necessary presence of love in faith compare 1 Corinthians 13:2; Galatians 5:6; Ephesians 3:17 . 6. Atonement: Because of faith - specifically, faith in Christ (except Romans 4; Galatians 3:6 ) - G od does not visit the penalties of sins on believers, but treats them as if they were righteous (Romans 5:1 , etc.). But this is not because of a quality in the believer or in the faith, but because of an act that preceded any act of Christian faith, the death of Christ (not the cross, specifically, for Paul does not argue from the cross in all of Roman). Through this death God's mercy could be extended safely, while before this the exercise of that mercy had proved disastrous (Romans 3:25 , Romans 3:26 ). And this death was a sacrifice (Romans 3:25 , etc.). And it is certain that Paul conceived of this sacrifice as existing quite independently of its effect on any human being. But he has given us no data for a really complete sacrificial doctrine, a statement sufficiently proved by the hopeless variance of the interpretations that have been propounded. And that Paul ever constructed a theory of the operation of sacrifices must be doubted. There is none in the contemporary Jewish literature, there is none in the Old Testament, and there is none in the rest of the New Testament, not even in Hebrews. Apparently the rites were so familiar that sacrificial terminology was ready to hand and was used without particular reflection and without attempting to give it precise theological content. This is borne out by the ease with which in Romans 3:24 , Romans 3:25 Paul passes from a ransom (redemption) illustration to a (quite discordant) propitation illustration. For further discussion see ATONEMENT; JUSTIFICATION . Here it is enough make a juridical theory constructed from Pauline implications and illustrations central in Christianity is to do exactly what Paul did not do. 7. Summary: Summing up, there is a double line of thought in Paul: the remission of penalties through the atoning death of Christ and the destruction of the power of sin through strength flowing from Christ, the human element in both cases being faith. The question of the order of the steps is futile, for "to have faith," "to be in Christ," and "to have the Spirit" are convertible terms, i.e. in doctrinal phraseology, the beginnings of sanctification are simultaneous with justification. Attempts to unify the two lines of thought into a single theory cannot claim purely Biblical support. The "ethical" theory, which in its best form makes God's pardon depend on the fact that the sinner will be made holy (at least in the next world), introduces the fewest extraneous elements, but it says something that Paul does not say. On the other hand one may feel that considering Paul as a whole - to say nothing of the rest of the New Testament - the pure justification doctrine has bulked a little too large in our dogmatics. God's pardon for sin is an immensely important matter, but still more important is the new power of holiness. 8. Notes: (1) Baptism presents another obstacle to a strict unifying of Pauline theology. A very much stronger sacramentarianism is admitted in Paul today than would have been accepted a generation ago, and such passages as Romans 6:1-7; Galatians 3:27; Colossians 2:12 make it certain that he regarded baptism as conferring very real spiritual powers. But that he made a mechanical distinction between the blessings given then and those given at some other time must be doubted. (2) Salvation from the flesh ( Romans 7:24 ) involves no metaphysical dualism, as "flesh" is the whole of the lower nature from which the power to holiness saves a man (Romans 8:13 ). Indeed, the body itself is an object of salvation (Romans 8:11; and see RESURRECTION ). (3) Quite in the background lies the idea of salvation from physical evil (2 Corinthians 1:10 , etc.). Such evils are real evils (1 Corinthians 11:30 ), but in God's hands they may become pure blessings (Romans 5:3; 2 Corinthians 12:7 ). (4) Salvation from sin after conversion is due to God's judging the man in terms of the acquired supernatural nature ( Romans 8:14 , etc.). Yet certain sins may destroy the union with Christ altogether (1 Corinthians 3:17 , etc.), while others bring God's chastening judgment (1 Corinthians 11:30-32 ). Or proper chastisement may be inflicted by Paul himself (1 Corinthians 5:1-5; 1 Timothy 1:20 ) or by the congregation (Galatians 6:1; 2 Thessalonians 3:10-15; 2 Corinthians 2:6 ). V. Rest of New Testament: Summary. 1. John: (1) John had the task of presenting Christ to Gentiles, who were as unfamiliar with the technical meaning of such phrases as "kingdom of God" or "Son of Man" as is the world today, and to Gentiles who had instead a series of concepts unknown in Palestine. So a "translation of spiritual values" became necessary if the gospel were to make an immediate appeal, a translation accomplished so successfully that the Fourth Gospel has always been the most popular. The Synoptists, especially the extremely literal Mark, imperatively demand a historical commentary, while John has successfully avoided this necessity. (2) The "kingdom of God," as a phrase (John 3:3 , John 3:5; compare John 18:36 ), is replaced by "eternal life." This life is given in this world to the one who accepts Christ's teaching (John 5:24; John 6:47 ), but its full realization will be in the "many mansions" of the Father's house (John 14:2 ), where the believer will be with Christ (John 17:24 ). A judgment of all men will precede the establishment of this glorified state (John 5:28 , John 5:29 ), but the believer may face the judgment with equanimity (John 5:24 ). So the believer is delivered from a state of things so bad as expressible as a world under Satan's rule (John 12:31; John 14:30; John 16:11 ), a world in darkness (John 3:19 ), in ignorance of God (John 17:25 ), and in sin (John 8:21 ), all expressible in the one word "death" (John 5:24 ). (3) The Jews had real privilege in the reception of Christ's message (John 1:11; John 4:22 , etc.), but the extension of the good tidings to all men was inevitable (John 12:23 , John 12:12 , etc.). Belief in Christ is wholly a personal matter, but the believers enter a community of service (John 13:14 ), with the unity of the Father and Son as their ideal (John 17:21 ). (4) The nature of the moral ideal, reduced to the single word "love" (John 13:34; John 15:12 ), is assumed as known and identified with "Christ's words" (John 5:24; John 6:63 , etc.), and the necessity of progress toward it as sharply pointed as in the Synoptists. The sinner is the servant of sin (John 8:34 ), a total change of character is needed (John 3:6 ), and the blessing is only on him who does Christ's commandments (John 13:17 ). This "doing" is the proof of love toward Christ (John 14:15 , John 14:21 ); only by bearing fruit and more fruit can discipleship be maintained (John 15:1-6; compare John 14:24 ), and, indeed, by bearing fruit men actually become Christ's disciples (John 15:8 , Gr). The knowledge of Christ and of God that is eternal life (John 17:3 ) comes only through moral effort (John 7:17 ). In John the contrasts are colored so vividly that it would almost appear as if perfection were demanded. But he does not present even the apostles as models of sanctity (John 13:38; John 16:32 ), and self-righteousness is condemned without compromise; the crowning sin is to say, "We see" (John 9:41 ). It is the Son who frees from sin (John 8:36 ), delivers from darkness (John 8:12; John 12:46 ), and gives eternal life (John 11:25 , John 11:26; compare John 3:16; John 5:24;

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