#the positive response was so nice
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something bad did indeed happen to that man. spent abt 25 minutes trying to find a better picture of that one (1) offical piece with his eyes open that wasnt compressed or tiny
#library of ruina#yan library of ruina#getting comfortable doodling some objects and mannequin shapes for very obvious reasons. i read the keypage story and now it has a grip on#my brain. wanting to go ahead and plan it out and then draw the mangled memory and nightmare that replays behind the eyelids in the darknes#it was cool to see the reason confirmed from my speculation. twas indeed another reason of blocking out present pain with closing of eyes#considering they made angela have a plot important reason for doing so it would only make sense for another to have a reason for it as well#well. after having a prominent part inside the thumb/index story line. its just going to be yapping about yan now i think#let me add a spoiler tag i suppose? vauge but just incase i dont want to be an asshole. even if most already have played rhe game#library of ruina spoilers#lor spoilers#i really liked the typewritter effect over the voice after distortion. especially so when the effect finishes before the actual garbled voi#does. it makes it feel as if it were being read out after it being written down rather than of own words or volition. along with the text#upon the screen during the fight being just prescripts rather than anything relating to the man himself like the other instances with such#text had been. paired w the name of distorted yan being untranslated to keep the intent of the name being unreadable or not understandable#more into the idea of stripping away of the self or any sense of a self. not personal and not even him anymore. the following of a goal for#the goal for it is given and there isnt any hope of having the ability to not do such a thing. people yearn for a reason and something to d#and for it to be given to them to not hold responsibility nor have to do their own choices anymore. once a crushing weight weighs down#inside the face of an absolute cruelty that is perpetuated and that crushed the dreams or even desires having them be but nothing how can#one move on? it was really nice to see at the end of the fight. its easier to just say such things than to actually do them. even if the ac#ions dont even feel as if they are ones own or that there isnt any say in the matter having to endure all the pain for seemingly nothing it#still is pain. that feeling inside is still real. it still happened. regardless of the circumstances that brought them about#the thumb/index or just fingers seem to be an exaggerated to the extreme showcase of how the colletivist mindset in an unhealthy manner#could be exhibited. the thumb with its hierarchy and absoluteness and the demand for respect along with its strict layers of showing who is#below and who is above. the ability to have power over those underneath . the participation inside of it and the already brought up yearnin#to be apart of a group and to have a title and position inside of a group and of power and even a desire like from pete to join one iirc#the index being of the cruel perpetuating cycle of pain people inflict upon one another a behavior beaten and upkept by the systems as they#drift and desire to live. which causes them to partcipate in that cycle out of necessity. cruel acts upon another in order to live and seei#a need to go ahead and do such things for if they dont they die and another will just do the same to them. social sciences talk and rolands#talks abt how the city opperates reinforce that fact. the index and prescripts are really just a show inside that extreme manner and in a#more literal sense of that. it was really cool to read it..
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I noticed someone bookmarked my fic I wrote and posted last night and this was the comment on the bookmark. I'm fine. Not crying at all 🥹
#Twenty one pilots#Twenty one pilots fanfiction#Twenty one pilots fanfic#I cry#Thank you kind ao3 user#I love your comment as well#On the fic#Then I saw your bookmark#So nice of you#I'm so glad you liked it so much#I hope others do as well#I haven't written anything in 7 years#So to come back after all this time and get such a positive response#It feels so nice
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✨ Inspiration Saturday ✨
Soooo I mentioned last week that I’d found a title for Rival Firefighters 🚒 …
I even made a little banner for when I start posting (which won’t be for a while yet).
Title is from the song Haven’t Had Enough by Marianas Trench which I am currently obsessed with 😍 (seriously some days I just listen to it on repeat for ages, especially when I’m driving).
And here’s a little snippet from a scene that’s been fighting me for weeks but today I actually made progress with 😭. Thank you @thewolvesof1998 for reading over what I sent you and making sure it made sense and for your very helpful suggestions ❤️
He makes his way from car to car checking in on each one’s occupants, offering up first aid if needed. It’s repetitive work and Buck finds himself getting bored until his eyes spot a familiar name on the back of a turnout coat. Now things are going to get a lot more lively.
Buck makes his way over to where Diaz is finishing applying a Band-Aid to an elderly gentleman’s forehead.
“As I said before, you don’t have a concussion but if you start feeling dizzy or anything out of the ordinary, call your daughter okay?” The old man nods in agreement, Diaz patting him on the shoulder before collecting his things and getting to his feet.
“Firefighter Diaz, it’s been a while.” Buck says in greeting as the other firefighter turns around.
Diaz’s hair is sweaty and loose, a few strands falling forward over his forehead that have Buck’s fingers twitching with the want to touch. His face is coated in a mix of dust and maybe car oil? Buck doesn’t know exactly what the black stuff is but it is a look and Diaz is pulling it off.
Diaz clenches his jaw as his eyes harden. “Not long enough.” He mutters, walking past Buck.
“Oh come on!” Buck follows after him. “I bet you’ve missed me. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.”
Buck certainly missed Diaz and his big brown eyes and thick fucking thighs that are connected to such a glorious ass. He really wishes the man wasn’t wearing his turnouts. It’s a crime to keep an ass like that locked away.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder but I still find you incredibly annoying and wish you’d stay gone.” Diaz shoots back, looking 100% done with Buck and the conversation.
Buck also missed this, whatever this is. He gets such a high from flirting with and teasing Diaz. Maybe it’s the hard to get ideal that’s doing it for him, but whatever it is, Buck likes riling Diaz up and today is no different.
“You wound me!” Buck clutches at his heart in mock offense. He expects an eye roll or another bitchy response, but Diaz just keeps walking, doing a wonderful job at pretending Buck doesn’t exist. Which, rude.
No pressure tagging: @hippolotamus @thewolvesof1998 @fortheloveofbuddie @lover-of-mine @wikiangela @spotsandsocks @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @athenagranted @exhuastedpigeon @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @eddiebabygirldiaz @rainbow-nerdss @wildlife4life @the-likesofus @theotherbuckley @try-set-me-on-fire @steadfastsaturnsrings @jamespearce9-1-1 @devirnis @callmenewbie @disasterbuckdiaz @djdangerlove @giddyupbuck @hoodie-buck @honestlydarkprincess @housewifebuck @jesuisici33 @jeeyuns @ladydorian05 @loserdiaz @captain-hen @weewootruck and as always, anyone else who would like to share something 🥰
#daffi writes#fic: stuck now so long we just got the start wrong#rival firefighters fic#buddie wip#buddie#legit almost cried that I was finally able to make a dent in this scene#and then Wolf gave me feedback and I almost cried again - HAPPY TEARS PEOPLE#it’s nice when you share something you’ve written that you’re very 🫠😬🥴 about and get a positive response back
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update
sent around 70 orders since my previous update! still slowly chipping away the rest, theres so much left
also. i already kinda talked about this on twitter in detail but:
.
.
to the customer who first told me they didnt know my book was a preorder, and didnt know i wrote an estimated shipping date on my faq, and if they knew earlier they wouldnt have bought it because it was for their niece's birthday which has now passed:
you wrote back again recently asking for updates when i previously mentioned it would take the same 2-3 weeks. i cant even send you your order beforehand because i didnt even have the books. but when i finally did i sent out your copy the next day instantly. i dont understand why you filed a paypal claim (under "item not received") against me on the same day i shipped out your order. and you even lied about me on the dispute notes which i can obviously read on my end. you asked for shipping info in which i cant even really send anything because you actively chose not to have your package tracked, and you are never satisfied with any answer i had my friends give you :(
i implore you to just reach out to me personally here but you dont even reply to emails anymore. if you feel vindicated bullying a small artist trying to share their works to people then you've did it because i give up.
im sorry i dont know what you want from me.
#im having such a rough time irl lately where i couldnt eat or sleep properly. i've attempted on overdose. i lost a family member#but i still wanted to fulfill the shop responsibility because everyone's counting on me#genuinely i know there will be nice people outweighing the bad ones but i dont feel like doing this anymore#and if i were to sell my art again it would just be between friends#faq#edit: truth be told i never even really wanted to sell my book because i made it as a commemorative item for my late friend#but a lot of people wanted it and asked for it so i thought okay i will do this for the people who asked#because if im in a position to spread a little joy in the world in the form of my art i wanna do it#but then people/experiences like this happens and i feel like i disappointed my friend
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I'm going absolutely insane over this dye for the glow up version of the Signal of Time
the difference between original and glow up for the same dye color:
#infinity nikki#luci liveblogs about infinity nikki#lmao they fucked up 1.5 so bad for controller tho IDK how pc peeps are doing#but the controls break SO much going between menus#they somehow KEEP MAKING MENUING IN THIS GAME WORSE WITH EACH UPDATE WTF#The only positive is wardrobe is finally more responsive when you open it for controller but it starts to lag later anyways#the new side menu is SO BAD for controller bc it clicks on the wrong pose (the one not highlighted) 99% of the time YIKES#playing on ps5 is suffering but ppl on co op have been nice!#i wish i didnt have to chat with controller lmao sorry i can't play nikki on pc fml
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re: recent htown reblog. i'm a trombone player and i ADORE the trombone parts in hadestown. but this is SENDING me 😭💜
THAT THANG IS FUCKING LURKING OKAY!!! IT'S SINISTER. EVEN WITH THE COMPELLING DISTRACTION OF MY TWO BLORBIEST OF BLORBOS PAWING EACH OTHER UP IN THE FOREGROUND I COULD NOT OVERLOOK ITS LOOMING PRESENCE. WHAT DOES IT WANT FROM THEM. WHAT DOES IT WANT FROM US
#chatter#asks#this response and the post it references are not reflective of my typical opinions on trombones which are generally positive#great instrument. extremely groovy part writing for it in the musical under discussion. easier than on average#to make incredibly stupid sounds with it. also easier than on average to concuss your fellow ensemble members with it.#not an instrumentalist so i don't know the correct band kid stereotypes for trombonists but i get the sense they were thought#to be nice and silly and temperament-wise aligned with the low brass; correct me if i'm wrong tho
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haven’t been on tumblr (neither this account or my other one) in a hot minute.
I want to be more present on here but goodness gracious! The suggested tag section on the dashboard is such a drag to look at! (and since I reblogged some pf on my new account it put both boys’ tag on my feed, which means still seeing things I have deliberately blocked).
Honestly, what was the point in leaving this account if I’m still having the same issues? (I know I wanted a fresh start, but that’s another story lol)
I’ve been trying to figure out how to use my accounts since both are in a similar state right now. Might just use this one as the equivalent of a sort-of personal account (maybe to sometimes look at pf too?) and my other one for more aesthetic purposes (and to keep it from continuing to have the same dashboard issue…)? Idk, I’m always flip flopping (and forgetting things…). I will figure this out! eventually.
On a better note, life has been a bit better than it was the last few months? Less time spent staring at my phone and less time spent in fandom spaces is obviously going to be good for your mental health, so no surprise there!
Also, I have a few mutuals I haven’t followed back yet (I keep forgetting…) on my new account and wanted to know if it was ok to follow back from there? Some I’ve already reestablished mutuals with, so this next part is more directed at those I haven’t:
Could you please (only if you’re ok with it though!) like this post if you still want to be mutuals even on my new account? I really don’t want to bother anyone with a message about this, especially if you’re not ok with it, so this is the next best thing, I think?
I know I’m thinking about making use of both accounts, but I don’t know what the “rules” are regarding this sort of thing, since it feels like what’s considered rude/weird/clingy/etc. and what’s considered respectful/courteous differs from site to site (and day to day at this point…).
#the rules of interaction online feel so nebulous nowadays…#I’ll probably reblog this a few times and maybe start using this account again?#probably not often but for stuff I want to keep separate?#I’ve had a lot of time to think lately (and to calm down because I needed to do that too)…#joining the discord has been nice but I don’t really check in often (I haven’t even posted in it… just been occasionally lurking)#my sister is more active on there which is funny to me since she doesn’t like social media#anyways I hope this doesn’t bother anyone; I know I said I was leaving this account so it’s probably weird to just pop back in…#but it’s also my account… and if you’re still following it… that’s not on me…#we all need to curate our own experiences… at least that’s what I’m trying to do…#even if this doesn’t get any responses I’m still going to use this account occasionally alongside my new one#so this is a heads up if you don’t want to see me on your dash on either account#ending on a positive note: pf week is soon and while I have nothing to offer; I’m looking forward to it!#life’s been hectic but at least there’s pf#rambling ro
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thought of a dumb parallel .. jack and cyclops are like on opposite ends of the spectrum for how op characters get misconstrued… one is hit full blast with the ray of sunshine beam and the other is Guy Who Hates Having Fun forever. This does not make sense in any way I fear
#guy with devastating emotionally charged powers: im going to be very nice and calm and positive all the time so I don’t lose control#fandom: my precious smol bean too good for this world😇#guy 2 with devastating emotionally charged powers: im going to be very responsible & strict so I don’t lose control & cause harm#fandom: you hate having fun#does this . no#no it does not#I was not put on this earth to make sense#cal.txt#spn#jack kline#cyclops#scott summers#silly little parallel
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Finally got around drawing Aioros :D
#saint seiya#saint seiya fanart#los caballeros del zodiaco#sagittarius aiolos#I remember reading somewhere (either a post or some wiki page idk) how aioros is often revered as the perfect saint an almost divine figure#and I’m pretty sure aioros initially refutes being the next pope saying saga would be a better fit (it’s 4am so correct me if I’m wrong)#anyway I watched some of kotz for fun and saw that scene. he seemed rather upset at the news but a sense of distress I can’t really describ#even when keeping in mind that he was only 14 I don’t think it was the responsibility that comes with being a gold saint/pope successor#but more combining the first bit of being highly viewed. he seems like a rather humble guy who’s rather content with risking his life#or has at least excepted that fact. but when seem as more than a simple soldier it makes him uneasy. because he knows he’s not a god#yet is put in such position that when adding his sacrifice at an early age he’s practically legend. and despite the initial denial he will#always be obedient enough to accept the duty placed upon him. this is all to simply say I tried drawing him smiling but it didn’t look righ#so ye. (feel bad for just leaving the thought process to the sketch in the tags but it’s not my best wording so it stays down here)#a smol trivia nugget: I still don’t know how I want to draw aioros :p actually better trivia nugget: the pose/composition is from a photo m#they saw I had taken a photo but my angle was rather bland so they decided to absolutely blow me away with one heck of a photo#theres even nice lighting and everything. real glad I finally used the reference as reference :]
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THE MILFS ARE FIIIIIIIIIGHTINGGGGGGGGGG
#feh#and. sothis#i feel legally obligated to join henriette's team obviously#and you know as far as moms go henriette isn't bad! just a bit absent (obvs due to the nature of her position)#but also something that has always stuck w me about her is ..... there is something off. about her.#like i don't think she's a bad person or even a bad mom. she just seems like. she's hiding something.#i have always been equally put off and intrigued by her.#LIKE. OKAY ANOTHER THOUGHT i think i've voiced before but when sharena comes off as 'fake nice'#it doesn't FEEL fake. it feels overplayed and forced but it's so geniune actually. she is just fighting for her life#to pass a social interaction and make a new friend#meanwhile henriette's 'fake nice' feels like. she knows something all of us don't. she knows something that died w gustav.#she has always felt. foreboding.#also doesn't help though that i inherently distrust mother figures LMFAOOOOO#LIKE. coin flip between 'oh she's a good mom i'm gonna cry forever now' and setting off my fight or flight response LMFAO#no need to dig into that!#fe henriette#<- just for henriette thoughts
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I wonder if they think of me
#the way i think of them#every time i can't sleep theyre the only people i want to message or call or just.. hear from#every time something awful happens lately they're some of the only people i can think of that just... thinking about them cheers me up.#whenever something good or silly or fun or important or really pleasant or weird happens.. i want to tell them first and hear their#excited or happy or sweet or dumbfounded responses#when its late and im alone... i want to listen to their snoring... or feel my head against his chest but for longer than a hug this time#ive begun to be scared that im so full of love it physically repells my partners. i want to be good for them so bad that im rancid in#some way.#i want to be there beside each of them so badly that they pull back... and when i give them space? they dont seem to reach out to me first#i feel like im.. so far down the list. maybe just because they know ill be there so they dont idk. care to check in?#they've told me before that if im doing badly they trust/assume that i would tell them#i cant even get a paying-attention response to the positive news i give sometimes... let alone. what i feel like is. my constant bad news#i want to be good. i want to be positive and hopeful and trusting and optemistic and patient#i feel like such a “maybe” or an “eventually”. i feel replacable and every way theyve tried to explain that im not its just...#them describing me as something sooo special im either too much. or that they think im too fragile or too explosive. or that they want#to meet someone else or more people who make them feel like i do. like im just a collectable trinket they can catch more of when they#dont want me specifically around but someone who does as much for them as i might. or can make them feel as loved as i honestly do love them#and they deserve that.#they deserve more than just me#they both do#i am disabled and im dramatic and im terrified of living this way and i feel so lonely whenever im in any company but theirs#because i either dont know how to interact well wifh others. or when i do get along with someone... it ends up gettin really scary for me#really quickly.#met nice friends? turns out they were mid-drug-relapse and want my help getting sober#met people i had stuff in common with in adult only spaces?? turns out they were lying about half of the details about themselves to fit in#reconnected wifh kind old friends? one of them is belligerent and mean almost daily and they others arent comfortable being near that#open up to my family about my struggles? get told i should leave#ive vented before on this blog and others that tbh most of the time my main reason for not doing really impulsive bad things to/for myself#is my fiancé. he's my best friend and my motivation and my love and my family... and now i have a seocnd partner as well and I#feel similarly and really strongly about them as well
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Was commissioned by the podcast Adeptus Ridiculous to make them some new graphics for youtube along with a new logo. I had a lot of freedom when it came to creating them so it was a very fun project :)
These are 2 out of 5 images that I made for them, the rest have yet to be fully revealed so I'll wait with posting them for now
#ive seen some mixed responses to them#but most are positive so thats nice#warhammer 40k#warhammer 40000#adeptus ridiculous#my art#warhammer art
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Creator/Me:"well I'm glad you answered with honesty, I feel bad for you in all honesty sans, the resets, the genocides, The contest thing to remember each and ever reset must hurt, And I'm so sorry you had to go through so much pain by dying over and over....so As a Good friend too you, If your okay with it. Keep this bracelet as a token of my friendship! And a Big! Ol' hug! From your pal! I hope you understand your not alone in this"
#throwing ya a bone | answered asks#//he's not used to talking alot about the resets//#//so in doing so and getting a positive response is nice except he knows that the humans here (players) are part of the problem//#//still he's picked up a few things from his brother about ignorance is bliss and wont outright accuse you guys of being at fault /vpos//#//also im so glad someone finally asked abt the resets lowkey//#undertale#undertale sans#sans undertale#sans#undertale blog#sans undertale blog#undertale roleplay#undertale fandom
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oh my god i am honestly still in shock that we are finally posting lfrt
#you’ve seen her . you’ve seen sailor . you’re about to meet the next one as well . I AM SICK.#such a positive response too :( we are just doing this for fun For Us. endlessly self indulgent . but it’s nice that other ppl are excited#it’s really stupid too . i like it so much#thank god we stuck with the name that was put down on a whim bc we are shit at naming things#it would have taken us another 3 months of deliberation on just that#UGH !!! WE HAVE SO MUCH COOL AND FUN STUFF PLANNED !!!!!!#m
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To me at least you're also the person who's art tastes like taffy :) /vpos. You have a really recognizable artstyle and I love seeing anything from you pop up on the dash, Yellow Addison or other OCs or otherwise!
can i offer you some doodles from the whiteboard i did the other day in return for your kind words
#hi. actual proper response in the tags bc i have a disease that prevents me from being straightforward#HI. this is really nice thankyou /gen#ive spent a lotta time . mmildly struggling as an artist bc of a whole load of issues so. positive feedback genuinely means a lot to me#im really glad you like seeing my art . sorry for being kinda dead i need to post more often LMAO#casinos words: asks#casinos ramblings#aaand. for. tge whiteboard doodles#casinos art :]#casinos ocs: sale#casinos aus: cain instinct#casinos mikes: deadline#casinos ocs: locke#casinos ocs: crow
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a very normal exchange on shitter dot com
#my art#i can't understand this type of response personally#if anyone does as much as comment 'nice' on my art i shit my pants in excitement#like i feel so much instantaneous gratitude towards positive feedback#when i see artists online taking it for granted im like whats wrong with you
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