#the portrayal of trauma is so good in this fuckin show

[wingedog]

The kraken didn’t kill my dad…I did

[cdroloisms]

DAY 50 LET’S GO !!

It’s been 50 days since Quackity’s first Lore Stream, and I thought I’d write a little something for the occasion. Our buddy c!dream is not doing well in the prison rn lmao

tw: torture, abuse, injuries, blood, broken bones, manipulation, gaslighting, mental deterioration, trauma, dark content, pandora’s vault/prison arc, c!quackity critical (again, not really, but a Very Dark portrayal of him) 

Quackity’s in the middle of packing up his supplies for the day when he turns over; Dream flinches, automatic, but the winged man doesn’t come closer, hands still busied with rubbing off the blood on Warden’s Will. His good eye narrows, and Dream watches, half-lucid where he’s sprawled out over the obsidian in a puddle of his own blood, breath rattling in his chest and filling the silence with shuddering wheezes.

“It’s day fifty, you know,” he says, turning back towards his sword. Dream mulls the words over as his vision blurs, refocuses, letting them settle as his too-slow head catches up with the meaning. “Of my visits.”

He tries to respond, knows better than to ignore Quackity when he’s speaking, but the words escape his head halfway up his throat and the whole thing comes out as a garbled hum through his lips. Quackity hardly spares him a second glance, sheathing the sword and moving his hand to the axe, pulling it up from the floor and watching as blood drips down the blade onto the handle.

“You know, I said I would come for as long as I fuckin’ needed, and I don’t exactly plan on making myself a liar any time soon,” Quackity’s eye slants towards him, lips pressed together in an irritated frown that Dream recognizes as the one he wears when he’s more bothered than he lets on, “So you gonna talk? Or are we gonna have to go through another fifty?”

Dream keeps his eyes on the other stubbornly, refusing to look away even with the full force of Quackity’s glare directed at him. Hey- what can he say, it’s the end of the day and he’s more than a little delirious from the pain and adrenaline. He’s sure that he’ll regret it come tomorrow, but that’s a problem for future-Dream, not now-Dream. Now-Dream has enough to worry about with trying to stay conscious as it is.

Surprisingly enough, or maybe not surprisingly at all (say what you will about the daily visits and the torture and pain they’ve brought him, but seeing the same person for hours a day every single day does mean that you end up knowing them better than most. He can say a lot about Quackity, most of which involving bloodstained fantasies of revenge and memories of agony and every excruciating moment in between, but in the end he also knows the other man, for better or for worse), Quackity shakes his head, turning back to his work, and laughs. It’s a dry, bitter thing, whatever amusement left within having long cooled and sharpened into something viscous and wanting, but it’s still laughter, the sound so unfamiliar that it makes him physically recoil for a moment before his head catches up.

“You really are a stubborn bastard, aren’t you?” Quackity’s voice dips low in wry humor even as he looks away again, and Dream closes his eyes, lets the world go dark for a blissful second. “Fifty days- I have to say. I’m impressed! It’s really…quite impressive.”

Fifty days- Dream looks up again, head lolling over limply as he tries to look closer. Quackity never brought up the time before, had enjoyed in the psychological side of making him guess how long it’d been, in giving fake times and messing with his head without a clock to keep his head straight. In all honesty, there’s a side of him that’s convinced that he’s lying, but - well - it’s not like it matters, how long it’s been. It’s hardly like there’s a time limit or anything.

“Anyway,” he stands up suddenly, reaching up to stretch his arms, wings spreading to his sides, catching the light of the lava, seeping through the feathers, “We’ll have to cut today short, alright Dream? I have, well you know, arrangements. We’re celebrating.”

“Yeah?” Dream rolls his eyes, words thick in his mouth, and he spits out a mess of blood and other gunk onto the floor beside him, recoiling at the feeling. “Celebrating what?”

“Well, it’s been fifty days, hasn’t it?”

Quackity’s voice has shifted to a slight drawl, almost fond save for the edges, sharpened to a razor point and ready to cut through skin, muscle, bone. It’s a tone that Dream’s become all-too-familiar with, the sort of way Quackity speaks when he’s about to say something that he thinks will make him hurt, when he feels like using his words alone to drive a knife between his ribs and then twist the handle. It’s unassuming, slow, and cruel in every sense of the word, and Dream blinks slowly as he waits for the meaning to register in his pain-addled mind.

Quackity must take his silence for something else, because he laughs again - this one is one that Dream’s familiar with, a hissing, mocking thing that curdles the very air. “Oh- you didn’t think they didn’t know, did you? He turns back towards Dream, moves closer, hair having fallen over his scar and lips twisted in a smile that shows off his glinting golden tooth, “You really- you really fuckin’ thought they didn’t know, prime, this is pathetic Dream, this is a new low even for you.”

Know what- oh.

“Of course they know, Dream,” Quackity kneels in front of him, hand reaching forward to grab him by the jaw, running his thumb back and forth over a fresh cut slashed over his cheekbone and putting enough pressure on it to make it sting, “I told them ages ago - I told you, too, did you seriously fuckin’ forget? Prime- the whole point of you being in this shithole is for the revive book. Once I get it we can finally just kill you and be done with it - of course they know, man! They’re fuckin’ cheering me on.”

Dream watches, waits for the betrayal to come, hot and fast as it always has before. Waits for the rage to come bubbling up, dark and angry, waits for his hands to shake feebly with desperate fantasies of revenge that will probably never make it out of the walls of this obsidian hell. He waits, and waits, and waits, even as Quackity grins and walks to the back of the cell, a triumphant spring to his steps, and disappears in a shattered potion of harming that sends another wave of agony through his broken body.

Nothing comes.

And- it’s almost funny, nearly has him laughing hysterically in the middle of his cell, still spread in a mangled pile of broken bones and limbs twisted unnaturally, drenched in sweat and blood, because - of course, of course now he finally manages to do what he’s been trying for all along, of course now his traitorous, bleeding heart that never failed to bruise and fracture no matter how any layers of netherite he wrapped around himself finally, finally hardens, of course now after fifty fucking days of torture does he finally learn the lessons that he’s been trying to teach all along.

Lesson 27, he remembers himself saying, hands clasped around each other as he paced back and forth on a mountain’s peak, grass crumbling beneath his boots, do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down.

It’s been fifty days, and Dream laughs, because after so, so long, he finally has no attachments - and it’s the best feeling in the world.

[aperfecttimeforscreaming]

10 reasons why a poorly adjusted adult Dib is a Valid headcanon

1. Dib is/was a neglected child

Dib doesn’t have a parent that he can lean on and go talk to for advice, his father is frequently out of the picture and doesn’t give a shit about the thing that Dib cares about. Dib is actively encouraged by his neglectful father to give up on it, actually. I believe this would make Dibs stubborn streak really bitter and spiteful. Most people reading this are LGBTQ+, I assume I don’t need to explain how a fucked up an isolated upbringing, or being unable to be yourself around a parent, hurts you in the long run. 

2. Dib is bullied for the things he is passionate about, and being bullied heavily colours your perception of other people 

The world of Invader Zim is not kind, Dib is frequently harassed by his classmates/superiors/family for his outbursts/lectures/overall investigator shtick. 

Now you might say “but, Screaming, wouldn’t Dib learn to tone it down as he got older?” and YEAH. Probably! But does that mean that he would just forgive all the people that made his life horrible before that point? Or who socially ostracized him for the things he’d done in the past? No. No one is under any  obligation to forgive anyone who hurt them, and I think Dib wouldn’t even try to forgive someone he saw as intellectually inferior 

3. Dib is a selfish rich kid

Dib is selfish. He wants to be the protector of earth- but he doesn’t do it for earths sake. He’s clearly doing it as a cry for attention/ a reason to eventually be vindicated for being spit on by his own kind.  I don’t think he would have genuine empathy for other people. If he did have it, it’d have to be something he had to work really hard at. However, I don’t see Dib putting much effort into understanding other humans. 

Dib is rich (probably). This one being more of a headcanon- in the series Dib wants for no material object, he wastes technology on his explorations like it’s something he can just pick up from the dollar store, his father is a world renowned scientist with access to crazy technology and the ears of world leaders. I think he’d feel entitled to one or two things 

4. Gaz is not her brothers keeper. 

She’s not responsible for his mental health, she’s not responsible for keeping him in line and “normal”. Most of the time she doesn’t want a damn thing to do with him. If we’re going by the standards of the IZ tv show, the only times that Gaz interfered with Dibs paranormal investigations were when Professor M. Was also involved. Either she wanted to see her dad and Dibs antics were getting in the way (forcing her to intervene), or she was directly ordered by their dad to keep Dib out of trouble.  Sure, you could argue that she would beat the shit out of Dib for doing something she didn’t like- but that wouldn’t “fix” the mind of a very stubborn person. It might even make them dig their heels in even deeper out of spite and bitterness as a “fuck you I’m right you’re wrong” 

Furthermore, as Gaz gets older she’s going to have her own life to worry about and might stop tolerating the way Prof. M uses her as a middle man to deal with his “poor insane son”. She’s under no obligation to fix any of the phases Dibs life might go through. If Dib was unpleasant enough, and Gaz had the resources to leave, I think she might just bail on him. 

5. Dib is arrogant 

He's gonna do what he thinks is the best course of action unless you physically stop him from doing so. He comes from a place of thinking that he is right, the opinion of anyone else is secondary. Dib will do “what needs to be done” for “the greater good”. Whatever he thinks that “good” is. He wants to play the white knight at any cost. He cannot be in the wrong, or that bravado towards being righteous in the end crumbles. I think Dib would subscribe to a “the ends justify the means” mentality

6. Dib would harm another person to get what he wanted

In a room with a moose, Dib debates letting himself die just to take his entire class down with him. In the unaired episode “return of Keef”, he co-operates with Zim in an attempt to make Keef explode, because he thinks Keef is irritating. Dib used Gaz to test out an ancient spell book, cursed Gaz to only taste pork, and then only helped fix the problem when threatened with physical violence. This could be the kind of thinking that gets worse over time as more people mock his attempts to save and protect them. Why care about people that don’t even give a shit if they live or die?  Dib is a smart fringe personality in his world, and the otherness that he feels for that could lead to a sociopathic way of thinking if things went bad enough 

7. Dib does not care about other peoples personal space

Dib hides cameras in Zims house. Dib ran right past the front gate at NASA Place, Dib chased a baby big foot up a radio tower. Dib bullied Zim physically on the playground using his known weaknesses against him. Dib would do anything to get the evidence he needed to prove what he wanted to prove, and that would get him in trouble. Repeatedly

8. Antisocial tendencies (like spending countless hours fused to a chair, or most of your young adult life spent hunched over a desk at a computer screen) make it difficult to smoothly socially integrate, and the world of Invader Zim is fuckin' mean

You know the world he comes from is mean. However, assuming Dib did find community somewhere, who’s to say they would agree with him? Or like him? Maybe one of them would cause problems for him that were bad enough he’d have to leave. I’ve always found that the IZ portrayal of earth to be like this funny cynical parody of a dystopian police state america. If we’re going by “what can go wrong will go wrong”, Dibs social integration wouldn’t get easier without a bunch of effort on Dibs part. Maybe Dib would have to pretend to be somebody unlike himself just to get by in his day to day adult life. If we see Dibs country of residence as a police state, the world Dib grows up in would encroach heavily on his personal privacy, and that might make him even stranger via paranoia 

9. Sadistic tendencies towards anything paranormal (obsessed with the act of dominating and exposing the unknown)

Dib is a fucking jerk to Zim (rightfully so), but Dib is a dick to pretty much every supernatural thing he comes across. Either out of an excess of enthusiasm, or using a supernatural being to further his own plans, or from an invasion of privacy, or being an irritant to the entity he’s dealing with. He LIKES to be mean to them.  He  wishes to have mastery over knowing how they work. (maybe it’s more fair to say Dib is a voyeur?)  

This is more headcanon than anything, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say he might also want to control the paranormal for his own purposes. If Dib could say- catch a ghost in a jar so he could show it to everyone, he’d do it. If he could trick a werewolf into transforming on stage in front of a large audience? He’d do that.

10. Dib is created to be Zims equal

Dib is as “evil” as Zim is and vice versa. Neither of them is good, or pure, or morally justified. It’s a nice little grey dynamic. Both characters think they’re entirely in the right when they act. That they often aren’t in the right is fun because then you get to write/draw/ think about how they’d react to the consequences. Dib could still totally be a hero in his own mind, despite setting an apartment block on fire to flush out a coven of litches.

The reverse of this is also true, Zim can do nice things, and occasionally be good as Dib can be good. I figure the Zim/Dib dynamic changes for everyones interpretations at least somewhat. Having Zims terrible actions rub off on Dib as their battles escalate is a really fun way to go about exploring their relationship 

11. I like the it

There is no right or wrong way to enjoy a cartoon character! Live to make yourself happy in fandom! If you ever thought you needed permission to create rancid content, I’m sorry you felt pressured not to do it. 

You want to make a serial killer Dib?? You want to make a basement dwelling depressed zit covered Dib?? You want to make a Dib who struggles with his trauma through substance abuse?? Go HAM!! 

[rockheadcd]

@reconductor​ said: i grab u like a squeaky toy and shake you around.

you are literally doing god's work out here with your muses!!! i am gonna go insane!!!!!!

roark. roark my sweet little sunshine my little guy my ambiguous disaster. you give him SO MUCH depth for someone that in game is basically just there to introduce you to the gym challenge? i always felt it was a shame how little the gym leaders get explored in canon for how important they actually are, and also roark somehow always stuck out to me as one of those few gym leaders i would keep thinking back to- honestly ngl i got excited when you first followed bc i saw him there in your blog and i went THATS THE BOY!!! i just love how much you have worked on him and how much you have fleshed him out, even in the silly little details like his metal shirts and his music likes- it all just comes together so well and i love to read everything you're doing. and thats not even mentioning whatever the fuck is going on between him and volkner :) thats free serotonin right there thank u for indulging me and this mess it's a delight to even just talk it all out in discord!! so yes roark 10/10 perfect rock boy i would let him have a hug with volkner that will confuse the straights again

NOW STEVEN. i will admit i dont remember much from gen3, im not even sure if i played it in full and i still need to get to oras and finish xy? but my god how i fucking love to see your other silly rock man, it's just so much fun all around to read anything you write with him and see him lose it at the credit card fraud :) hes just so full of character beyond the rock love and you are doing such a good job at making him clearly steven the weird cryptid fucking off to caves for rocks while still having so much more to him than that- and his much clearer relationship with wallace is also just so good all around?? love to see the guncles. please adopt more kids that need it we got plenty of trauma going all around. another 10/10 hope volkner's box won't kill him

LASTLY BUT NOT LEAST ADAMAN YOU FUNNY DUMB CLAN MAN I LOVE ADAMAN. honestly i have to keep reminding myself that hes not? a rock man too technically i guess?? but you just got him nailed so well i see him in here and he just fits with roark and steven even when they have no fucking interactions whatsoever. he's just so great all around i am so so glad to see how you write him and the chaos that things turn into its so much fun. 10/10 again i hope dialga will show him the rest of crush 40's sonic hits

(zoroark is also nice i GUESS. fuck you. fuck you for that (affectionate) )

AND YOU. YOU ARE SO GOOD. YOU'RE SUCH A NICE PERSON AND IT'S SO FUN TO TALK TO YOU AND HAVE YOU AROUND AND ALSO YOUR ART GIVES ME LIFE DON'T FUCKING STOP!!! i will kill god for you that is a threat and a promise. / portrayal vibe check. | accepting.

i’m gonna fuckin GET YOU, YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SEND ME AN ESSAY?! FAE..........I DON’T DESERVE YOU UEHUEHEUEE Q_Q.....

but you’re so right roark was made to get stomped on and be your tutorial buddy but like....i did not expect so many people to be like “no he’s a fave” and i be like WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS LIKE 10 PLAYING THIS. idk he’s been. a muse i’ve kinda wanted to write and it’s buddies like you that can give him the environment to thrive and fit into. i can fit so many useless tidbits of info in mildly obscure characters i cannot be stopped. thank YOU for indulging me in whatever the fuck they’re doing rn bc i’m loving it and you’re ruining my spoofy wrapped this year.

i’m so appreciative that you enjoy steven’s absolutely chaotic life bc i have way too much fun with it.. we need to write more muses together bc it’s very fun. and adaman is just the only sane bitch on this blog i’m pretty sure HE’S LITERALLY HERE TO VIBE AND BE SEXY. i hope he gets hooked on crush 40 so any of his descendants have absolute garbo taste in music. :)

( we don’t talk about zoroark. except that we do. a lot. i can’t wait for him to stab the depresstie. ♥ ) BUT FOR REAL THANK YOU.... i’m just a tired dad but i’ve enjoyed every moment chatting with you and completely destroying my sleep schedule in the process. 

[gloochie]

here’s a fuckin rant about how in love i am with sunny’s portrayal of realistic anorexia // ed tw obviously

doesn’t take up the character’s entire personality

yeah there’s tons of shows with characters that have eating disorders, but usually that is the only purpose of the character, so their entire personality is just the eating disorder. yes that is how it can feel for the individual in real life, that they are nothing without their eating disorder, but that isn’t how other people see them. their friends see a regular person and often don’t even see the eating disorder at all.

dennis is orthorexic and anorexic, that’s obvious, but that isn’t all that either the other characters or the audience see. as he’s primarily known as a ‘psychopathic narcissistic serial killer / golden god’, especially by ‘dudebros’. the other characters obviously think this as well, as the word ‘eating disorder’ and ‘dennis’ have yet to coexist in a sentence, and only on one or maybe two occasions have the other characters seemed to show any sort of concern for his habits.

the other characters don’t care or lack knowledge [ highlighting male eating disorder / mental illness awareness ]

from memory there are three occasions where the other characters seem to recognise his unhealthy behaviour. [ although there are many references to his ed in various other episodes ]

the first example is in ‘the gang exploits a miracle’ which is also the first and most major portrayal of his eating disorder in the show. dee had told him that his face looked fat, so he proceeded to not eat for three days. when frank discovered he was fasting, he said ‘why the hell are you fasting’ and sounded annoyed. and when he noticed him spacing out, he told him that he should eat but said nothing else. then when dennis faints at the end , he merely says ‘that’s what you get for not eating’. so the entire time, frank found his behaviour irritating rather than worrying. when dee discovers that she caused dennis to fast for three days, she expresses faux concern before informing him that he’s a terrible person. despite finally revealing to him that his face doesn’t look fat, she doesn’t hesitate to continue to put him down. [ mac and charlie seem to have absolutely no significant interaction with him in this episode, so their opinions at this point don’t exist ]

the next episode is ‘franks pretty woman’ dennis takes mac to the doctor to get a physical / blood test to try and show him that he’s unhealthy. dennis is then shocked to discover that both of them are unhealthy - albeit on different sides of the scale -, as it is revealed that dennis has anemia, dehydration, low blood pressure, and multiple vitamin deficiencies. these are all side affects from a restrictive diet. he also explains to mac in detail the other steps he takes, including skipping meals, and excessively exercising. mac does not seem too phased besides from exclaiming ‘that’s sounds miserable’. when dennis almost faints and informs mac he hadn’t eaten yet that day, mac reacts by saying he’s going to get him something to eat, which he does. the two end up eating chimichangas. mac says [ paraphrasing ] ‘see? i told you they’re good.’

the final time dennis’ eating habits are really noticed by the gang is in ‘the gang chokes’ in which he claims to have an ‘allergy’ to gluten, sugar, and dairy. this is obviously false as in previous episodes he’s eaten cheese, pizza, and other such things. despite mac forgetting, he tries to help dennis stick to his ‘dietary requirements’. later on in the episode, dennis claims to have ‘depleted his electrolytes’ and had fallen ill due to the pollen in the air, although he was acting similar to ‘exploits a miracle’ which may point to him fasting. mac is quick to help, he picks him up and carries him bridal style all the way home [ despite dropping him twice ]. finally, dennis grows sick from drinking the pizza and soda shakes that mac has been giving him, and mac claims it ‘wrecks havoc on his system’ which is why he’s sick, although the real reason is rarther ambiguous [ actually intolerance, mild refeeding syndrome, generally unwell? ]

dennis does not look anorexic.

this is possibly my favourite part of their portrayal. in movies and tv that are made to raise awareness about anorexia, the character in question is almost always deathly pale, extremely underweight. however, dennis isn’t like that at all. in seasons 9 and 10 he looks to be a very healthy weight, and in previous seasons he was still relatively healthy.

this is amazing to see because not all cases of anorexia are anorexia nervosa, not all patients meet the weight requirement for the nervosa diagnoses. so portraying someone with disordered eating but a non disordered body is great representation and often more realistic.

[ despite this, there’s obvious proof that glenn howerton has begun slimming down for his role as of at least season 14, dennis is starting to physically show signs of anorexia. ]

fatphobia projection

dennis is extremely fatphobic. in ‘aluminium monster vs fatty magoo’ he calls the slim models ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’, to the point where he takes their place [ while wearing a corset ]. he is also shown to find mac disgusting when he gains weight, he finds it so distressing that he obtains illegal medication and drugs mac so he will lose weight.

this is all a very common thing with anorexia and other restrictive eating disorders, the ‘ed voice’ that tells you that you’re fat says that others are fat as well, and your illness makes you internally fatphobic.

he isn’t just insecure about his weight.

there are many different reasons that one gets an eating disorder, whether due to trauma, preexisting mental illness, from stress, parental abuse etc. however one main reason is to gain a feeling of ‘control’ over ones body, to be able to shape it to your will and make it as ‘perfect’ as you can.

in dennis’ case, he claims to see himself as a ‘golden god’, sculpted by the gods, and just all round flawless. this is extremely obviously false, as the second a flaw is pointed out to him he takes extreme measures to rectify such a thing:

‘the gang exploits a miracle’ - he starves himself for three days after dee says his face is fat

‘how mac got fat’ - he dyes his hair and gets a chemical peel after feeling pressured to keep up his ‘reputation’ as the attractive one in the group

‘the high school reunion’ - he wishes to make a good impression at the reunion, and it’s pointed out that he was wearing a girdle to ‘seem thin for the occasion’, he was also wearing makeup but it’s not clear exactly when dennis started wearing makeup on a daily basis so i’m unsure if that was normal or not.

‘dee day’ - he’s extremely insecure and withdrawn without his makeup, he’s unable to hit on the council woman. when he later returns to the bar with his makeup back on, he denies wearing any and claims he was merely tired. this insinuates he wants the gang to believe his looks are natural and not fabricated

there’s also the fact that they’re representing male eating disorders! i don’t think i’ve ever seen a piece of mainstream media that portrays a male with an eating disorder. it’s fucking amazing of them to do it, not to mention do it as well as they have done.

in conclusion, RCG is portraying the most realistic and accurate disordered person i’ve ever seen in media.

[thecursedhellblazer-arc]

Boxing Day and Mistletoe for the December meme!

December Positivity meme || Accepting !

★ Boxing Day: tag someone whose writing style you love

(( Uuuh, I definitely have quite a few people to tag for this one. I had the luck to meet a fair number of very talented people on this hellsite, and being able to write with them is a blessing! And please consider this as a (alphabetical) list of recommendations! ))

@adventurepunks : ‘cause in this lair we love and cherish Bianca (who, aside from a great RP partner, has also found the will to become friends with me, something I am very grateful for). She honestly can write almost any sort of thread, from the silly or fluffy one, to action based threads, to heavy ones with introspection, and make each of them a great ride. Also, we allow each other to indulge in our macabre streak, which is a huge added bonus. And she’s a gal who knows her lore (so a rare kind).

@blizzardmuses : I love Bea and I love her portrayals. So far, I have RPed only with her female muses, but I’m sure that she can write her male muses just as well. I love how she’s able to give the right amount of personality and energy said muses deserve (which is rare considering that it’s much harder to find female muses in the rpc), both in what she has them do and in how she writes them (body language and dialogues). The vitality you can find in her writing is refreshing.

@cosmosfated : Yet another great writer. I’m not even sure where to start from. Their character is one of the most complex I’ve met so far and their writing style adapts perfectly to Fleur’s quirks and moods. They also manage to hint things in between the lines, without telling you all you’d like to know and leaving you wonder (much like their character does). Their replies are always so very lively, it’s a pleasure to receive them.

@rapxir : Katie is another amazing writer I have the luck to write with and a very good friend. Writing is her thing and it shows. Not only in her writing style, but also in the complexity of her character. She’s a very adaptable writer, so she can easily shift between different themes and fandoms too, no matter how different they are. Also, she manages to put a lot of attention in the psychology of her character, through writing small details of her reactions, and that’s a delightful way to learn about Ruby every time a bit more.

@thedemonconstantine : I’m pretty sure that a lot of people who follow this blog (and more) follow K’s too, so that doesn’t leave me much to say I guess. I’ll just quote something that someone said and on which I totally agree: K is the best when it comes to quick actions scenes. That’s pretty much almost set in stone xD

(( A special mention for @darkdabbling , whom I’m just starting to discover. I already love how detailed their writing is, full of introspection and elegant! I’m really looking forward to write with them properly! ))

★ Mistletoe: tag your shipping partners

(( I’ll be tagging again the people I mentioned in the other question, don’t mind me! Also, I’m including platonic ships too, ‘cause they are as important as the romantic ones! ))

@thedemonconstantine : John & Demon John are my bloody guilty pleasure and I’m so not getting over them any time soon (which is both a good and a very bad thing). I can’t remember the last time I got so invested in a ship, in all its shades. Besides those two twats, I have two of my fave platonic ships: Tim & John (and I have to thank K for allowing me to discover both them as a pair, full of parallels and with that mentor/pupil dynamic where you can’t tell who is what, and Timmy as a character) and Chas & John (love them in canon, love the additional we have created in our interactions. They deepened even more their not always healthy bond and I love their shenanigans). Special mention: John & Yoyo.

@adventurepunks : John & Nick are...complicated xD Under some points of view they are still sniffing each other and I love the slow burn we are building, with a step forward and then a few steps backwards. Seeing them getting to know each other, learning how to deal with their differences, bonding...and we all know how it ends (sweet tragedy). Also, John & Zee! We still haven’t developed them as much as the blokes, but I already enjoy their bantering and soft friendship. I can’t wait to work on them too. And of course, the thruple dynamics (which is still a work in progress). Special mention: Francis.

@thegreenxrcher : John & Oliver are another of my main ships on this blog. They are my fault, I’ll confess it, but it seems that all has turned out well, so I’m proud of it xD They really compliment each other, with both their differences and similarities. John also has an odd dynamic with Shar’s demon OC...and I’m curious to see where that will go.

@rapxir : Ah, Ruby, John’s other unofficially adopted kid. I love the parallels between them and how protective they are of each other, even if they bicker a lot and poke each other, hiding their real shared affection. They are just...so good for each other. And they totally deserve each other xD Special mention; Bump.

@blizzardmuses : John & Kori make me crying in all the possible sense of the term. She is the sort of friend John needs, with her unshakable hope and all her efforts to see the bright side. At the same time, John can definitely teach her how to see and deal with the darkest sides of life. Plus, they have a lot trauma in common and that alone is fated to bring them together.

@paradiseturnedhell : John & T’s Nick are quite the odd pair. Enemies and friends, adversaries and lovers, hunter and prey (and this last two roles get switched often). I enjoy the different dynamics they have and how their relationship slowly shift towards one side or the other. It opens a lot of interesting doors!

@obsessionsarenotforheroes : Miss T again, this time John & Jessica. They got so close and so...soft with each other, and I was not expecting it. They found in each other the kind of friend they needed and that makes me so happy, tbh. I might have a preference for angst (which these two offer in abundance), but it’s nice to see them helping each other out of their respective abysses too.

@cosmosfated : John & Fleur are...something else. I wouldn’t know how to describe their relationship and it’s pretty clear that they don’t know for sure either...which makes things even more interesting. I absolutely love how they can go from being complete idiots to completely serious, and all there’s in-between. They are unpredictable and that’s all part of the fun.

@xstabcastx : John & Ava are definitely my fave BrOTP from the Arrowverse adaptation. As much as I love John & Sara’s friendship, Lina made me fall in love with our two idiots. They are such an unlikely pair of friends and that makes them perfect x3

@laughter-in-white : I honestly don’t know what to say about John & Croptop!J aside from the fact that they are fuckin’ hilarious x'D They are yet another unlikely pair, perhaps the most unlikely, and yet, at the same time, they have more in common than they realise. And the fact that the mun’s portrayal is a delight in general just make it all much, much better!

[spooky-space-kook]

Goddammit. Okay. Things I am obsessed with from In The Flesh. (NOTE: I am a dumbass who knows jackall about anything I'm talking about. If I'm ever insensitive about a topic, please just tell me. I only do my best, ok?)

Amy is a gift and every moment she's on screen I fall in love that little bit more. This isn't a deep assessment I just fucking love Amy.

I could be completely off base, but each of our main "PDS Sufferers" feel as though they represent different ways mental illness is expressed. I know fuckall about most mental illnesses and so will leave it at that. I just think it's interesting.

I also like how they use characters to show the many different responses to oppression. Keiran's initial go-along-to-get-along becoming awareness and resentment. Freddy insisting he's not like the others. Simon finding purpose. Keiran's parent's blind ignorance and total faith in the system. Ken Burton becoming fervently anti-undead to hide the fact his wife is undead and returned home. Bill and Rick acting as though it isn't real, and crumbling the moment the thin veil is torn away. And Amy being the treasure she is and just leaning way the fuck in.

Everyone dressed in Amy's style at the end. Especially Sue and Shirley. Even more that Keiran's idea of "moregeous" is Old Man Hat.

The contrast between Rick and Simon's room. The former clearly hiding under so much masculine hooplah. Sexy half naked women, army crap. And at odds with the character we get glimpses of when in Keiren's presence. The latter's room is very much... well, gay. And young. Walls covered in boyband posters and race car drivers. I know the director said he left home as a teen, and honestly I'm surprised it wasn't earlier. The space is very much a pre-teen's. It says so much about Simon's character. That even if he left in his mid-teens, he must've started drifting away much earlier.

Simon's many, many layers and huge shirts. To me it ties strongly with what we learn in s2 ep5. It comes off as dressing to hide oneself.

The village's characters all interact like people who have known one another for years. Even the bad guys. When Keiran is in a very dire situation and being threatened by Gary in the last episode, he still talks to him like you would any schmuck you've known since elementary days. And all the interactions are this way. Personal and understanding in a way that's specific to a community where everyone has always known everyone. Fuck I love it so much.

I just appreciate the consistent characterization so much. It's so fucking good. Even when they started having to rush things along, they did it well. Characters grew without becoming totally different people.

S2 Ep5. Ignoring revoked consent. It was a very interesting moment to me. The whole episode made me re-evaluate a lot of aspects of the character, but this in particular stood out as impactful.

Even through it all, I sympathize with Jem and Gary and every other poor soul who lived through the Rising. I don't know if I'm supposed to, but I do. What they went through was awful. And traumatizing. They have every reason to be afraid. It is not an invalid fear. I love that they never showed us the human's experiences, because we've likely seen it enough times to understand and sympathize.

AND FURTHERMORE every PDS Sufferer is as much a victim! Because they really weren't in control, and had no way to be besides.

And along with that note, I love the moment when Jem makes The Big Mistake. Because I agreed with her. I thought she should go to the authorities. It was an accident, but the consequences were huge. And immediately after thinking this, I asked myself why I feel our PDS souls should get a pass due to trauma and lack of control, when Jem essentially had the same experience as a result of PTSD. I love that so much. The show constantly has me comparing and contrasting the experiences of the living and undead.

The very deliberate staging of Weston and Halperin. First working together, eventually split, and finally... no Weston at all. The moment where they are standing separate, Halperin with their benefactor on one side, Weston on the other, divided by a column, is very interesting. Halperin is friendly and welcoming to Weir, the representative of their funding source. Weston is clearly hostile. After that moment, we never see Weston again. So much said with so little! Ugh! So good! I want to know more about that divide. What it lead to. Why was Weston gone later?

I like Gary. There I said it. He's a horrible person but a damn good character. I simultaneously sympathize with him and want to slap the absolute shit out of him. We get glimpses into his total inability to cope (the story at lunch, coping with humor. Terrorizing people. Refusing to move on.) But it's interesting. When we see him with the living he seems like a fairlu nice, empathetic person. Were this the Walking Dead, Gary would be the Good Guy. He'd maybe even be our protagonist. And in a lot of ways the show treats him appropriately. We see many facets to his personality, both good and bad. We see him in a sympathetic light occassionally. He's never quite a 2 dimensional nut job or monster. It's great.

Every shot in Simon's former home. Every. Single. Shot where they are together? Empty chair. The emphasis on a missing figure is so lovely and clever. And sad.

This is the world's smallest thing but no two actors look more like mother and son than Sue and Keiran. Same big fuck-off doe eyes.

There'll be more, just you fuckin' wait. I've been rewatching the shit out of this show and need to get my thoughts out.

ADDITIONALLY. SPOILERS BTW.

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If Keiran is the first risen I will eat every left sock I fucking own. I went back to s1 ep2 and there were about a zillion other legs walking around when he crawled his lazy ass out of that coffin! Which is even more infuriatingly intriguing.

I'm also not surprised that literally zero fic can imagine our main pair being together outside of small moments near the show's timeline. Simon has an addictive personality and only just found purpose. I think domesticity wouldn't suit him. Meanwhile Keiran craves it. That and normalcy, simplicity... I wish there had been more time to see that conflict.

I wish we could've seen more of Gary. I want to know if they ever planned redemption for him. The way they treat him, it feels like they were going to. His portrayal felt too sympathetic, otherwise.

I wish we could have seen Jem grow. She was such a good character and I genuinely felt for her. Simultaneously called a badass and a coward. Maybe feeling that way too. She deserved the rest of the arc she never got.

ALSO. I NEED TO KNOW. WHO THE LEADER OF THE ULA IS. I NEED TO. My suspicions: John Weston. But we'll never know now T_T

[isa-ghost]

Hi I’m gonna just,,, gush here for a moment-

I’m personally really not a big fan of “make [ego] canonically evil/etc” stuff, I like to stick to keeping those things in AUs bc then our imaginations can just go fuckin WILD and anyone that dislikes/feels uncomfortable with those headcanons won’t be bothered by it being canon. HOWEVER, the bunker!egos actually fucking LOVE seeing that kinda shit, AU and not. At the end of the day, they know themselves better than we do, and they love to see what we think up for them.

Marvin especially is super touched at all the different portrayals we have of him because all that exists is his birth video, and yet we put so much love and thought into him all on our own. He’s personally really fond of “mysterious chaotic neutral, morally grey badass” and “borderline magical girl anime thot that’d hex you for a quarter.” Both of those have become big parts of his personality tbh. Despite the flood of headcanons about him being evil giving him some thoughts and urges he’s not okay with, the fact that we care so much that it’s popular enough to actually effect him speaks volumes about how much the community cares about him and it makes him really Soft(tm) for the community.

Even Jackie likes seeing AUs and “what if” posts about him snapping or turning on everyone because there are days he feels so worthless or so outnumbered that the idea comes to mind. He also likes seeing how many different ways we can make him a hero aside from stereotypical superhero things. Not to mention Anti has put him through so many different traumas that nothing we think up to put Jackie through could scar him worse (though I have some mutuals that would totally consider that a challenge XD Please don’t). His favorite thing isn’t headcanons or “what if” posts though, he absolutely lives for angst art and fics of him, bonus if he gets to beat Anti up or do smth way more fucked up than Anti would and thus show him up. Jackie THRIVES off “Jackie Is Not A Perfect Flawless Lawful Good Boy” stuff, because he’s super hard on himself and has a lot of guilt and next to no confidence in himself, so seeing people expect less than Absolutely Virtuous things out of him eases his psyche a bit. Though he’s not always a huge fan of these sort of posts about his brothers, especially Chase, but that’s just because he’s Big Brother(tm).

Henrik? Oh my god Henrik absolutely OWNS the shit we come up with for him. He despises the “he’s a failure” / “he’s working with Anti” stuff about August 3rd because of how personal and traumatic it was for him, but even the “working with Anti” stuff he’ll spitefully joke about. But the feral doctor/mad scientist stuff? He practically struts around about it. Like Fuck Yeah I Might Sell One Of Your Kidneys For A Fruity Drink, What Of It Bitch?? It also really means a lot to him we’re so fond of how Not Completely Sane he is because he’s hugely self-conscious of it and worries regularly he’ll harm someone he cares about. Seeing us so in love with the concept that he’s a little bit or moderately crazy entertains him a lot. He also, despite not going actually on vacation contrary to some of our beliefs and actually being trapped/tortured for months, finds it fucking HILARIOUS we say he went on vacation, and even funnier that we’ve drawn him in Hawaiian shirts so often for “vacation” art that he literally has a bunch appearing in his closet.

Chase is a bit more sensitive to some of the stuff we make just because a lot of the substance we have to use to create things based around him is emotional for him, traumatic or not. But he still likes to see our ideas. He especially loves all our different interpretations of his kids, being that they and Stacy aren’t actually real. There’s a select few ideas he’s not fond of at all, but he just ignores them and lets us do our thing because he doesn’t want to police anybody. Even if he doesn’t like them, they still fuel him to be the best he can be, so even those ideas help him to a degree. He has a weakness for the super skilled assassin/sniper stuff honestly. He’s training himself along with Jackie’s help to try and get that skilled with weapons, and he hopes at some point if he gets that good he can record a thing of him so we can see what he did for us.

Jameson probably has the most fun of all of them with all our different interpretations because even HE doesn’t know too much about himself because he’s just such a wild card full of so much potential until Sean spills some more tea about him. He’s super partial to the time traveler, mob boss, assassin, and Marvin’s assistant in magic ideas we’ve made up. At this point even though he hates the “he’s a puppet” stuff, he’s grown numb to it and knows he isn’t one, so he just lets us explore the concept. If anything, our interpretations of it help him make up plans for what to do if he does get strung up and how to protect himself from Anti.

TLDR; The bunker!egos adore morally grey/Not Good Aligned stuff we come up with for them and even some of the ones they don’t like still help them in some way. As long as we aren’t hoping they die or hurt/kill each other, they’re all for whatever crazy creative shit we think up.

[skulldxddy]

I don't even know where to start because your Guzma blows me away so fucking much, every day, EVERY SECOND that I feel like this askbox can't hold what I have to say about your portrayal. But the one thing I know is, that yes, the way you shaped this character from every one of his canon's and put all of his many layers into one is fucking amazing, BUT what really makes him stand out is the colours *you* put into him. I love what you did to him. He is perfect and I love him, and so does Max.

         HOWS YA BOY’S PORTRAYAL?

This is a follow up. I love that you are not afraid to make your muse as problematic as he can be, but at the very same time turn him into a very loveable, charming guy who cares about his guys. I love that he does bad, bad things, but there is always a good reason behind why he does it. You are not afraid to explore darker themes, and fuck me, when you write those, it really kills me because you have such a WAY with it. But you do the same with lighthearted things too. I JUST CAN’T WITH U

   wOW. You really tryna do me SOME FUCKIN DAMAGE HUH? WHAT IS YOUR DAMAGE I’M FUCKING DEAD ASS LFJDFSLDJFLK yeah, the things you say are all really relative to the journey I wanted to take with this blog and Guzma. His existence was love at first sight for me. He fascinated me beyond any other character that exists in Pokemon and as you know I was ITCHING for the longest time to take him on as a muse and explore the darker themes in him the games hinted towards but obviously could not portray. He’s a gang boss, does fucked up things for fucked up reasons and he ain’t here to be pleasant, but I still wanted to keep the parts of him that show his goofiness, his traumas, and the golden heart he has for his people.

   At least until his heart gets absolutely corrupted but we don’t talk about that it doesn’t exist. 

    Of course a big part of this is thanks to you. We’ve written together for a long fucking time, and as much as it sucks that garbage toxicity didn’t allow us to have this much fun on our old blogs, it was worth the bullshit to finally be able to write such an incredible story with you now. You are an amazing storyteller and I couldn’t feel as happy writing Guzma without your Maxy. 

   Here’s to years more of this bittersweet journey. Shut up and take it baby. 🍹

[alloyent-a]

𝙍𝙀𝙂𝘼𝙍𝘿𝙄𝙉𝙂  𝙀𝙉𝘿𝙂𝘼𝙈𝙀.

WARNING:        MAJOR,      MAJOR        SPOILERS        AHEAD.

seriously, don’t read this post unless you wanna be spoiled on some major events in the movie.     

as i’ve mentioned before,  i’m not going to be incredibly reliant on endgame for my portrayal.    as a whole, i don’t consider the “infinity war” timeline a major arc of my portrayal as it is,  and i generally don’t even consider that a major point of my characterization.    as such,  there’s very little from endgame that i draw inspiration from,  and it’s probably just easier for everyone if i list the very few elements that WILL be taken from that movie into my portrayal.

tony  &  nebula’s  friendship.    this is incredibly important to me and my portrayal because nebula is shown to be an incredibly closed off  /  otherwise “evil” person.  tony is capable of finding good in everyone and everything,  even if he doesn’t know he has that capability inside of himself.  he truly is the heart of the avengers and he has a capacity to love like no other.  even while literally wasting away,  he’s up for sacrificing even little things for her,  for ensuring that she feels comfortable around him.  it shows a great inherent kindness and love in him that makes virtually anyone with a tainted past accessible to his friendship.  (  aside from thanos bc actual fuck thanos.  )   AND,  even if i don’t consider the movie canon, i consider their friendship, even outside of what it represents, canon.

carol  saving  tony.   carol & tony said gay rights, period.  there’s no symbolic element to this, i just love them both, and i adore them both so obv they’re brother & sister.

using  the  gauntlet.   i called this like a million miles away (and who didn’t) and it’s just So, So, So canon.  i’m willing to plot out with specific people an infinity verse where maybe this could happen, but in general, it’s the sentiment.  tony would absolutely lay his life down on the line for the world, for strangers, for people he doesn’t know, without a doubt or question or hesitation.  it is painful, but it is true.  it isn’t that he totally lacks self-preservation, or he isn’t aware of it, but if it is a conscience choice to be made, tony will always choose himself.  even if it means a very painful demise. 

canon heart issues mentioned!!!!!!!!!   altho because of a technical issue but!!!!!!!!!! hello???????   his arc reactor is a fucking death trap

tony  stark  being  the  best  father  of  all  time.   hello morgan stark is my daughter & i love her,  i accept her willingly into my canon as long as it is plotted with me and i adore her,

tony  stark  deserves  to  fucking  REST.   he is the earth’s defender, and he will defend the earth with everything he has, but my god.  let him rest.  let him fucking rest.

i also want to talk about some things that happened in the movie that i am vehemently,  and i mean vehemently against.  most of the movie i am willing to work around and plot out and mold around.  but there are some elements that i simply will not accept: 

tony  forgiving  howard  stark.   this leaves an especially bad taste in my mouth.  howard did not ever treat tony right, period.  tony spent the majority of his life believing that he was a failure, that his father hated him, etc.  that doesn’t come from a loving, healthy relationship.  that doesn’t even come from a hum-drum relationship.  tony fears his father, and craves his approval more than anything.  it is neglectful & it is frightening, and i won’t accept the forgiveness or the hug on the screen.  sorry folks,

the  entire  scene  post-reunion.  you know the one i’m talking about,  with the wheelchair,  very angry tony,  angry at cap,  etc.   i debated this a lot because on one hand, it’s actually a very accurate representation of how trauma can affect someone, and how unpredictable ptsd is.  tony has many layers of ptsd for many things,  and is prone to lashing out when he feels vulnerable or cornered.  BUT,  the element that i am attempting to erase here is the conception that tony, at this point in time, hasn’t forgiven steve.  tony is not known to actually hold a grudge.  he learns to forgive bucky.  he learns to forgive steve.  he is more prone to directing frustration and anger inward than outward, towards himself.  in the year of 2019, he has forgiven steve,  and he has forgiven bucky. 

and  obv  he's  not  fuckin  dead.  altho he could use a good nap

[rebelbrat]

I still have to talk about the NPCs on this blog so have some headcanons about two of them. These are some factors in my portrayal of Lilith and Satan based on my own experiences with them (because what’s better than writing from experience?)

LILITH

What everyone who’s ever experienced her has to say is true. She is DANGEROUS. She is NOT to be called upon lightly and she is NOT for someone who is new to a faith. Which is why I was so freaked out when I realized I had accidentally called her into my space, I was like (chuckles) am I in danger? Answer: I really could have been! If she wanted to do anything more serious than messing with me to test my character, I’d have had to beg God to show some mercy on my stupid ass and please just help me this one more time with the trouble I got into……

She is not merciful if you make mistakes and likes doing horrible fucked up things to people she hates

She can be incredibly cruel, but she is not incapable of kindness and there are some values she holds--she seemed to have some level of interest in social issues, which squares with what I’ve seen some Jewitches say about her being feminist. She may be INCREDIBLY threatening, but she’s not that kind of dangerous.

She hates Tobias and wants to hurt him (though he did manage to come to a truce with her after he did something to earn her respect)

This may just be me projecting but I think she has some trauma with Adam. She had to flee their shared living space because he insisted on dominating her, is threatened with a horrible punishment if she doesn’t return, has to deal with 100 of her children dying every day if she wants her freedom. At one point she takes a peek back into the Garden of Eden and she sees he’s replaced her with someone who WOULD submit to him and be his good little wifey…Yeah that’s fuckin traumatic all right

I’m still actually kind of skeptical whether the being I encountered was Lilith, but I knew 1) there was a being in my space 2) she was female and 3) she was definitely there to fuck with me.

SATAN

yes there’s a Jewish Satan

I really wish there wasn’t

he is SO ANNOYING

stupid smug bastard

insensitive and insolent, not afraid to mock you even if you have a sensitive situation 

will straight up lie about his lore just to see if you fact check (I think he did this to me but even if he didn’t it sounds like something he would do)

Some Jewish people don’t think he actually exists and is just a metaphor…Bitch I HOPE you don’t exist! I HOPE you’re just me hallucinating! I HOPE I don’t have to spend the rest of my life dealing with your smug bitch ass!!! 

Threatening him and yelling at him won’t make him leave. He enjoys your anger. He feeds on it. It also won’t work because he’s an agent of God who’s specifically put there to test you. The only way to make him leave is to show him your faith in God and Judaism, because that’s what he was put there to test.

THIS IS A SATAN HATE BLOG

[genesisrhapsodyoffire]

I think some of the people who write posts about Akihiro/Daken/

good lord give him a new name already they're both awful names for different reasons that'll be explained later

are white as hell, have never gone through being mixed race, and or aren't specifically bi, trans, or East Asian (especially Japanese) .

And it fucking shows good grief. I just saw two different posts about him. One saying he shouldn't use Akihiro because his memories of Japan are traumatizing and it's a memory of that. Okay. I can see that. That makes sense. It's a family name from a bad time in his life, and as a trans person who's literally changing not just first name but whole name due to familial trauma, I can vibe. Family trauma fuckin sucks big cock.

But like?? I deadass saw someone saying that it's drinking TERF rhetoric to want him to do away with the name Daken because he "reclaimed the slur"

And I'm here to fucking call bullshit on that. And here's why.

1) you never see any fucking indication of him being proud of his heritage or his lineage either through Wolverine or his birth mother outside of a warped desire to be wolverine/surpass wolverine.

2) this is basically like the excuse of "starfire wears skimpy clothes because of her powers, you know, that we gave her?" That's this, replace starfire with daken, replace 'wears skimpy clothes' with 'has a name that's a slur', replace 'because of her powers' with 'because of his racial trauma' and you have it. He's basically a walking load of "ooooo angst for shits and giggles with a casual racial slur thrown in because we can get away with it because of angsty backstory" at that point.

3) saying this is akin to saying "this black character was called the n word their whole life so they use that as their code name to reclaim the slur and be empowered;1!1!1!!1" that's how that sounds imo. Or to make it more appropriate to my own race (I'm Chinese-Burmese-Samoan), "this Chinese kid was called a rat their whole life, so they renamed themselves rat to reclaim the insult!!!" No that's bullshit, especially if there's no indication of that mindset that is super obvious. I've read the majority of his comics. And I don't see it

4) Lastly??? Even if the thought of "oh, he's reclaiming it" was legit?? Imagine how all the mixed race East Asian, especially Japanese kids, who are, by the way, from a culture that isn't exactly tight with mixed race people and people they see as foreigners (there's many articles about it online, and here's a few) felt when they read one of the few characters of their race's names was a racial slur. Against mixed people.

Like if you're a mixed race kid, and you're east asian, he, if you haven't heard his name, seems great! He isn't that nerdy, effeminate stereotype, that many east asian male characters are shoved into. He's this fucking powerhouse who has the world at his fingertips and can go toe to toe with Wolverine! but as a mixed race Chinese kid? (China is also not friendly to mixed race, and even treats its non Han Chinese population as second class, and I'm not Han) I was not stoked that one of the first openly LGBTQ (yes I know he's problematic in his portrayal, but Shatterstar is too (thanks to Peter David's writing), and he's the only other close to Asian (via Lewis Tan) LGBTQ dude I've got) asian guys I had to relate to was named a slur against half/mixed people. I can only imagine how Japanese mixed race kids would feel (I speak of my own experience I don't speak for all mixed kids but I do want to try to empathize for what might be going through their heads)

That's it. Yes this is also a vague post. No I'm not tagging people. But seeing people who want to quit calling him a slur be called terfs/accused of repeating terf rhetoric really pissed me off.