#the poor bf in the first two pics. feared for his life at having the top hero interact with him

[bumpylines]

More dad!BBJ for you folks 😌

Kaede’s friends are probs like “wow you’re so lucky, Barnaby picks you up and you get to ride in his cool car~ Kyaa doesn’t it make your heart pound 🥰” and kaede’s just like “….hes… just a regular human being like everyone else 😫😭” the illusion is shattered for her

[lovexdejun]

🖤NCT Boyfriend Series🖤

- [😇] Jungwoo

>>pretty smutty but not actually smut?? >>this is so loOoOoOoOoOng i got way too carried away lol

•the 1st time i saw jungwoo i cried •he’s your next door neighbor all throughout high school •friends enough, but not really super close to him—like if you saw him out on the street, you’d say hi but wouldn’t start a conversation •you guys lose touch after high school bc you both moved out pretty quickly •it’s almost fate that you end up meeting again at the same college with the same major: theater •when he walks in to each of his morning classes and sees you hiding way back in the back, he almost laughs at the coincidence •practically fights to get to the seat next to yours in each class •which means three hours of jungwoo distracting you by means of flirting •you understand why he’s so attached to you tho; you two are at a new school in a whole different area, you feel secure actually knowing someone •you guys start talking+hanging out more outside of class •he shamelessly flirts with you constantly and you wonder why he’d never had a gf or bf in high school •*whispers* it was because he was too in love with you to see all the people who were actually into him •he’ll realize those feelings again and start trying to spend every waking moment with you •picking you up from your dorm before class •waiting for you after class to walk you home •randomly calling you or texting you when you’re out with friends •surprising you at your dorm in the middle of the night w takeout bc he knows you’ve been studying all day •it’s almost yandere, except he would never harm you or anyone around you, he would just cop a nasty attitude •as annoying as it can be, you’d miss his clinginess if you hadn’t seen him in a couple days •the two of you spend so much time together, and he looks at you with such admiration that people think you’re dating •there’s even this one time, you’re sitting on the bench at a doggy park when a few grandmothers walk by and literally ask you when the wedding is •and jungwoO JUST— “oh, soon.” •then he starts petting the puppy you had just been playing with like nothing happened •like jungwoo won’t deny it if his life depended on it, but he’d never deliberately confirm it either bc he’s not that crazy lol •except when it came to boys •they’d never approach you first because jungwoo is always stuck to your hip •not to mention the indifferent yet intimidating stare he’d give them when they were brave enough to hit on you •until this guy who was competent enough to realize jungwoo is harmless made it his mission to take you home w him •it took you half an hour of talking and eventually telling the guy you weren’t interested (you couldn’t figure out why for the life of you bc he was the whole package) to realize jungwoo had left your side •you search for him for a while only to find out he’d left the party entirely •when you don’t hear from him for almost a week, even after calling and texting him nonstop, you start to get worried—no, pissed •that’s how you realize your feelings for jungwoo •so you find yourself stomping across campus on the verge of angry tears and ready to give him a piece of your mind •banging on the door for five minutes does you no good, so you find the spare key above the door frame and break in because you know he’s always home on saturday nights if he’s not with you •as soon as you slam the door shut, you come face to face with jungwoo, who’s only in a towel, hair still dripping from a shower •instead of apologizing and getting flustered •you kinda just push his chest multiple times until he hits wall with a thud •you literally put the fear of god into that poor child with the way you’re yelling at him •one particularly hard poke at his bare chest makes him jump and suddenly he’s scrambling to push you off him •’yahyahyahyahyah’ is all that’s coming out of his mouth as you watch jungwoo trying to censor himself and pick up the towel he’d dropped at the same time •you can’t stop laughing while he scolds you •”my intention was to scare you jungwoo not give you a boner lol” •the two of you end up talking it out once jungwoo is dressed •you confess to him and he tells you he’s ‘loved you since hs freshman year you idiot’ •after that there’s no escaping him •i mean, your his gf so he doesn’t understand why you should ever be apart unless you absolutely have to be •you’ve grown so accustomed to him being obsessed with you that you don’t even notice his clinginess anymore •he wants everyone to know you’re dating •always making your heart melt with how cute he can act •plus he’s so pretty that it hurts •you’ll never understand how he can have a poker face literally 24/7 no matter the circumstance •likes cuddling you •likes you cuddling him/wrapping your arms around him more tho •disney movie binges •board games •failed cooking attempts that just end in you ordering takeout •it makes his feel some type of way when you whisper in his ears, even when you’re trying to be innocent •couch sex •bath sex •his favorite thing to do it watch you masturbate •but he could also finger you for hours without getting the least bit bored •he loVES body praise from you •or any kind of praise for that matter •bc he’s super conceited until he has his clothes off so this would just make him feel better •extremely into being overstimulated •cockwarming is a given •he likes as much skin/skin contact as possible •likes kissing the top of your head or the tip of your nose •melts when you kiss his cheeks •aLWAYS holding your hand or waist •loves you more than life itself and would actually do anything for you •literally anything •he’d go to parties with you even though he’s not a fan •you’d carry each other home and he’d hold your hair back while you threw up •even though he acts so cocky, he’s actually pretty unsure of himself and feels like he lacks quite a bit •you guys would be each other’s saving grace and personal cheerleaders •life would feel so much easier with him in it •and summertime would be super convenient since your parents live right next to each other •this is a relationship that no one outside of university saw coming but everyone needed •it would be a loyal and supportive relationship filled with endless embarrassing moments and unforgettable memories •i’d place jungwoo with the cute, soft, and opposites attract relationship lines

>>jungwoo was a pain to find bf pics for but writing for him was pretty easy.

A/N: i could really only depict jungwoo with scenarios instead of generalizations because he’s quite unique so i apologize that this was sooo long lol

nct | requests are always open!!

[itain]

long.. complaint post essentially

id say rant but its less anger than just.. despair i guess

oh god i feel at this moment.... very hopeless

ive just kinda been frozen since i got home,,, talked some, ate dinner, etc... but there is so much i need to get done but i {feel i} cant do until i finish one thing in particular...... like so many rows stacked up in tetris that all get cleared with the one block that fits them all... i mean perhaps nobody thinks its that big a deal,,, idk......... i just feel like i cant breath... literally it feels like my chest is a bit tight just thinking of all this shit stressing me... like once i finally get one thing done turns out its not done and i had 10 more things to do as well... i feel that in the time it takes for me to take one step, i’m pushed back like 20 paces....

you know when you have so much stressing you that you play games or just fucking fill your mind with static to pretend nothing is wrong?? you waste time having fun while the stress just looms next to you all day every day?? thats like my usual state of being.... and here is the other end.. where things come crashing down, and im panicking, and im frozen because i can never solve things, i have to find an order in the chaos, and at this point everything immidiately turns negative and i wonder why im even alive rn... i like that ive written this much and still remained so vague.......... SIGH

uh lets see i mean its mostly all just financial shit

the biggest block rn is the fucking gym... gee am i getting so damn sick of this shit.... i am ready to sccream over this fucking gym...... ive been trying to quit almost since ive started... i FINALLY send the shit i need to on time..... and they didnt do it???? so i need to call them tomorrow asking why they havent drafted the quitting fee, and im sure theyll ask if i did the fucking secure mail where i get notified when they recieve it, and no i didnt bc i dont have money, and they will come up with some bullshit excuse reason why i cant quit still, and at that point ill want to scream and cry, i fucking wish that could solve my problem??? why cant i be like my dad who yells at the customer service people on the phone till they solve everything for free???? why cant i ask that of him now?? thoughts like these... who let me be an adult, how will i not get fucked out of shit because im a fucking pushover who just wants to please everyone and be polite.....

then lets see.......... the student loans..... the big issue with this... i mean 50 bucks a month starting in october... i mean we will fucking see if i have the money... considering im already drowning now, i fucking doubt, but my biggest concern is the logistics... what amount am i paying back? how do i know that its set up to draft out of my account??? questions i dont want to ask anyone because i’ll feel like a fucking idiot and i’ll just cry about it instead pls.... so i’ll just rot till october tyvm...

and what else... my biggest fear is the combination of these two, that i cant quit the gym and im paying like 75 fucking bucks a month for two things that have made my life nothing but hell...

but i think the other biggest stressor is the small shit adding up rn... for like 2+ months (i havent really counted but i know its been a long time now) my phone isnt working without a charger.... and to even get it replaced for a working model is like 75 bucks.. id buy some shit phone but thats 20 bucks that can be spent towards surviving... like, see above bills.... oh and id switch to an old phone of mine to even ask if thats possible would fucking cost money bc metro pcs wont answer shit without seeing money first ugh.. its made all communication and leisure time way more difficult as im chained to the wall and only a few short times a day for either.... so setting aside that, ill just fucking pray for that for christmas orz the other “small shit”...... oil needs to be changed on the car,,, means i have to find some time to buy oil, figure out what fucking oil to buy, where to buuy, if i have the money, etc... communicate with coworker friend and get a day we both have off so her friend?? can change my oil for me for free, bless.... but thats not even possible till i get back from my vacation.... so a week or two..... then we have the registration sticker that needs to be updated before september,,,, 80 to 85 bucks my dad said... that obv cant be updated with a code on my car so again, it has to wait a couple weeks... even driving with a code on my car gives me such anxiety...

so moving on to.... i guess the tiny shit that isnt as big problems but only have become such because im mega stressed..... thought i had finished the laundry... found another bag orz... apartment much more disorganized than i thought.. you know how order in the home gives a certain peace of mind.... and vise versa.... bf and i are fucking depressed and at least i want pills but that is a faraway dream rn, booking a fucking appointment, much less having $$ for a perscription????? trying to work out then losing motivation so quickly as always... but because i want to dedicate my energy towards cleaning this place... which just somehow never happens.... just never seeing a way to save money??? ive been so damn frugal and i still cant pay my bills and here i am with more bills, meanwhile my dad posting his stupid fucking bullshit on facebook about “choose happiness” like money doesnt have a fucking say in the matter.... and all the low self esteem and negative thoughts that accompany all this situation... wanting to “do something nice because ive been having a hard life/week” and then still feeling like shit, or feeling guilty for having spent anything then complaining about money...

i guess last thing i wanted to touch on..... the vacation... bfs mom takes me with them on their family vacations.... honestly i feel like the goth in the prep family? like im too much drama to make them happy.. ive been pretty open with her about my feelings towards my dad and stepmom, mostly bc she is super giving and nice and agrees with me against them.. and recently ive been more open, like about my depression even... and like... she even said she would get me a scrip... like....... i just.. this kind of thing, the vacations, the covering my half of rent, even while she doesnt have a job rn (she is rich but tighter on $$ now so) but i feel so guilty accepting it.. like if i justify it, then arent i being too greedy?? but i literally cant refuse it, or i’d be on the street right now so..... but i just feel like she owns me... if i were her daughter i think id be more okay but like... if john and i break up she put like, thousands into SOME CHICK.... i feel like in the far future i’ll need to write her a check too;; i told bf i wasnt rly feeling the vacation... of course because of the neverending drama surrounding me (yeah yeah im not saying drama is drawn to me, yeah i create it okay) this will just kinda strain more the relationship and they’ll all think i have some issue with them or smth that i gotta ruin every family trip... so i’ll just go.. but like... self esteem is out the window, so i wont want any pics.. i doubt bf will either, we both have gained so much weight, and i have perma acne that gets worse by the day, and i cant even afford to get my hair cut or colored again so its just this grown out mess.... then in the other respect of a vacation... i think ill just be worried the whole time about my finances... i mean i wont be able to spend money on anything so -shrugs- i get to just look at a bunch of nice things, thinking “i wish” or feel the guilt of her wanting to get it for me.... oh god yeah and same things w my friends.... i want to hang with them?? but i dont have money for shit??? and every time they pay for smth i die inside bc when will i even be able to pay them back its the same thing but theyre poor TT

anyways i guess thats most of it..... i guess im feeling tired maybe ill just pass out watching some youtube videos.... i was wanting to get a drawing done but ~*the cycle of feeling like shit*~ will occur worse then...