#the plus side is that my new schedule makes friday totally free for me. i mean i have a class thursday night cause i HATE MYSELF but

[todayisafridaynight]

finally on the hawaii / gameplay demo... janurary CANNOT come fast enough

NO RIGHT I NEED JANUARY TO GET HERE NEOW !!!!!!!!

[thirstythylacine]

Stress Relief

Alright. This damn band and fandom has got the best of me finally.

Haven't written in over 10 years. Definitely never written smut before.

I've given in! There are pages and pages of smut notes in my journals, phone, and computer so I guess this is my new hobby in quarantine.

Relatively unedited so apologies there. 

Yell at me here, or yell at me on AO3 under the same name. 

Also I have a very limited knowledge of how the hell this cursed site works despite being on it for most of its existence. So if there's shit I didn't tag correct here let me know.

Also Tumblr apparently hates making the italicized bits appear here so I’ll reblog this in a sec with the AO3 link if you, like me, really like seeing the emphasis :)

I am otherwise too lazy currently to figure it out or fix it and I’m already reposting this since Tumblr also apparently hates outside links! Thanks Hell Site. 

STRESS RELIEF

He’s been working on this project for a week straight and as usual it’s cutting into personal hours. Though that doesn’t faze him, scribbling notes in the margin of this current translation and completely forgetting to call for dinner. It’s 10:30 at night and I’ve brought him ever meal today as well as coffee multiple times. At this point it’s half just so I can make sure he’s still awake and breathing.

His dinner looks untouched and he’s got ink on his cheek. I don’t even think he noticed me come in until I was right behind his chair with my hands on his shoulders. He only startles a bit and I lean forward to peek at his progress. “You’ve gotten far today” I note, “Though dinner was over two hours ago you know.”

He sighs sitting back against me. “I know Tesoro, I know. This one is just.....very difficult. And she wants it earlier than the rest.” He drops the pen and stretches his fingers. “If I can get this one to her before Friday I think we can have a few days off finally.”

It would be a relief for us both to have a few days off. He squirms as I press at the knots in his shoulder.

"I will literally stand guard outside this office to fend people off if it will help. I was starting to think I might have to tie you up somewhere to keep you from coming into the office this weekend.” He breathes in sharply once and there's a moment of stillness before he’s laughing quietly. Interesting.

I’m solidly around the front side of his desk before I notice the flush on his face. Double interesting.

The last paper in front of him has been moved aside in favor of the dinner plate. He’s frowning at it. The dish isn’t one that would be particularly appetizing cold. “I think......perhaps a trip to the kitchen might serve us better?” I offer. “You can find something better than that and I can find something for desert. I think Papa mentioned there was pie tonight.”

Pie makes a good dinner.” He says with a quirk of the eyebrow. Problem solved.

———

“Hey!” I gasp as his teeth scrape down my neck. “Hey, I told you, none of that tonight. I have a ton of important meetings tomorrow. You know, the kind with people from Outside This Church whom I need to view me as respectable, buddy.” He isn't looking at me but growls a little against my skin.

I tangle my hands in his hair and tug sharply back to meet his wild eyes with mine. “No biting.” “You’re gonna have to save those hickeys for tomorrow, Cardinal...”

He’s adorably huffy about it but also doesn’t falter as he ruts against me. His hips grind sharply into my thighs, pressing me hard down into the cushions of his couch. His arms have me caged in below him and he rests his forehead against mine with a low moan.

At some point we’ll have to decide if we’re moving to a bed, or at least stopping long enough to take off literally any clothing instead of writhing on the furniture like teenagers. It’s so good this way though.

I came by to drop off the last few papers for him to finish and somehow convinced him they could be done in the morning. I meant to also convince him to come have another late dinner in the kitchens but he's in a mood and I can't complain. Having him over me, desperate and needy is better than any drug. I busy myself with the buttons on his jacket and shirt, impatient to get my hands into his chest hair. He hums as I run my fingers through it, and lower. His mouth is at my ear, his nose in my hair. I tug at his belt as he arches over me.

“We should go go to bed” he whispers “we should go to bed so I can fuck you into the weekend. I want to wrap you around me and make you cum until you can’t remember your name”. The words coming out of his mouth are getting deep and breathy. That voice.

Even his perfectly normal, reasonable Latin lectures make me want to get on my knees for him. I'm pretty certain the whole class feels that way. Technically, I know I’m not the only one he sleeps with either but recently I seem to have lucked out.

“You can’t” I growl back as he presses me down. “As much as I’d love to have you buried in me from now until Sunday, you still have 'homework' for tomorrow and I.... I can’t bag out of my important meetings. Sister will literally have me murdered if I leave her alone with those delegates.”

He moans low and deep grabbing at my thigh to pull me further under him, tighter against him. We press back and forth rocking against each other and making out. He’s driving against me over and over in a way that will have me undone very shortly. I have to bury my face in his shoulder to keep my whimpers quiet. Office hours are over but the door isn’t locked and Ghouls have a way of showing up when shit is about to get good.

I'm starting to lose it. “Please, Copia, please, pleaseplease” I beg. He grinds into me slower and slower pressing closer and longer and I think I could die from needing to cum. His breath is in my ear choppy and hot. Little wines, murmurs spilling from his mouth as he gets closer to the edge.

My body arcs up against him, my hands trapped against his chest as an orgasm washes over me. Head thrown back into the cushion I cry out when he sucks at the skin at my collar. I’m gasping as I come down. And then I realize.

Yanking my hands from between us to grab at his head. “COPIA, Satanus! What the fuck did I just say!” He’s a bit of a mess this close to an orgasm and only whines at me when I scold him. His rhythm is getting lost now and though I'm mildly pissed about the bite, I don’t think there’s a better time to test my new interesting theory than now.

I wind the fingers of my left hand tight into his hair and grab harshly at his hips with my right. “Bite me again and see what happens Cardinal. Don’t make me tie you down next time.”

He comes hard. Face buried in my collarbone despite my hard grip on his hair. He’s arched so hard into me I think I’ll be feeling it well into next week. We collapse slowly into the couch. It’s hot and sweaty not to mention the utter mess he's just made. Whatever. He must own 20 pairs of those black pants anyways.

I stroke his hair and laugh softly into it as he tries to regain some steadiness of breath. “Well then, Cardinal.” I arch my eyebrow at him and he's absolutely blushing. He won't quite make eye contact and I can't keep this crooked smirk off my face. He buries his face back against me and grumbles “Maybe time for a real dinner, Tesoro?” as the office door opens. A silver face peeks through, checking the desk and then turning to see us tangled on the couch. “Oh! Sorry, boss. Just, uh, making sure the, uh, lights were off in here. Yeah.” “But um, never mind if you’re still in here working!” The voice fades as the face retreats quickly.

Copia makes a tired sound. “Ghouls.”

———

The free weekend has been axed.

Delegates from the Unitarian Church apparently liked our pitch enough that they decided to hang around for a few days and view the abbey in it’s working state. On the one hand it’s great. Not completely bonkers church allies would be incredibly helpful to us. But I'm mentally tapped out from the socializing. Copia too, has been dragged into the fray. Unlike our Third Papa he can be counted on to treat our guest well without shamelessly flirting with each and every one of them. Unitarian Universalists might not immediately kick a bunch of Satanists out of church club but they still probably view married couples as a little less fair game than Terzo does.

They leave just in time for us to jump right in on the next round of translations. Some books from our archives can only be opened for a few nights a year or a decade. Some can only be opened for a few hours at a time, or only in the perfect humidity, or only by a woman, or a ghoul, or Papa. It’s a particular kind of puzzle game to schedule the translations of these texts. Plus very few people can translate them at all let alone as quickly as the Cardinal.

Imperator schedules, I ferry book and papers. He translates. I return books and papers and organize translations by type and date so we can digitize them later. It’s part of the push to get this church into a modern century. Making an effort to have other church allies is as well. Nihil is totally against it even though his sons are all for it. Or maybe that’s because his sons are all for it.

Everyone is tired. Everyone is busy. The congregation is much bigger than it used to be but still there isn't a lot of down time. We've got a horde of siblings at our disposal to help with all the cleaning, data entry, filing, etc. but someone still needs to steer the ship.

It turns out that managing people is a pain in the ass and regretfully I'm good at it.

Thankfully I still end up spending most of my day filing and organizing piles. It's boring but methodical and leaves me with enough brain space to let my mind rest or wander as it chooses.

I'm deep into sorting notes from the early 30's so we can see if anything matches up with books from that era but my mind has wandered back to the Cardinal's ass in his red pants.

He stepped away from the monstrous paper pile for coffee this morning but two moments later was back leaning across the front of his desk to scribble a note in the margins of whatever he's trying to decipher. It's a very nice ass.

It's been over a week since we've been able to do anything more than snag a kiss between meals, sleep, and work. It's fine, except that it really, really isn't. Stress relief is important. And doing it myself is currently feeling a little subpar when the alternative is so incredibly attractive.

Also. There's this whole other aspect of him that I really want to get another glimpse of. We have been mostly on equal footing or he's been in charge since we've been seeing each other, but I know that's not all there is. Not just because of the way he blushes when I boss him around but also because of that dinner months ago where a wine drunk Terzo whispered in my ear all sorts of things about how delightful and versatile a bed partner Copia is.

I think I want to know all the ways to make him whimper and beg.

Unbeknownst to him, Thursday night we're going to catch a break. Imperator is headed out of town with a few of the Emeritus family for some swearing in of a little sect or two a few cities over. Copia and I have been excused to finish up one really time sensitive book and they're going to be gone for two whole days.

Of course, I know that the book is finished already. He did the last bit around 2am and I just couldn't bring myself tell her in case she decided to dump another stack on us as she walked out the door. Two days isn't enough for a real vacation but it's definitely enough for a little rest and stress relief.

______

I feel like I'm laying a trap. Getting us out of work, convincing him to come back to his rooms to change for dinner.

There's a tiny unmarked bottle of lube tucked on the hallway table next to the Baphomet statue where he hangs his keys. Normally he never looks at that table, just drops his keys across it, puts his hat on Baphomet's head, and comes to collapse on the couch or bed.

There he is though, looking at the bottle curiously, fingers starting to unbutton the top of his jacket unconsciously as his brow creases. I have to move fast. I walk up and my hands take over for his. Unbuttoning the jacket and pushing it back over his shoulders but not taking it off of him. I push at his chest gently until he steps back all the way against the heavy wood door.

"Tesoro, I... " He looks down at my face as I'm unbuttoning his shirt. My hands work downwards and I see as he completely forgets about the bottle. "Hello there" he says with a smile and slides his hands into my hair to turn my face up towards him. I get an arched eyebrow, a little half smile, and then, a little hitched breath as I tug open his belt.

I lean in to rub my nose under his jaw and breathe him in. His arms come up to pull me close and I can feel the rumble in his chest. We stand for a moment in peace, enjoying the closeness before I tug his hands down to lay flat against the door. "Keep them there, alright?" I whisper in his ear.

He breathes out an unsteady yes while I lay kisses down his neck. His trousers are undone and he hums through his teeth as I take him out and stroke him. Lightly over and over. Teasing gently. His head is back with eyes closed which is perfect.

When I ease my lube slick hand down his dick his whole body jolts and his eyes fly open to stare at me. "Oh! Ohhh...." Hands tight against the door his hips push forward into my hand and he screws his eyes closed again as I stroke him a second time.

"F...uck. Oh. Fuck. Tesoro..." he whimpers and the sound strikes deeply hot at the center of me.

I keep my touch firm but slow. A steady torcherous pace. I wonder how long I can keep him here. Trapped between my body and the door, gasping and moaning as I tease him higher and higher.

I want to talk to him but I'm a little afraid this will end too soon if I do so I settle for brushing my lips across his, across his face, against his sideburns until he's begging. "Tesoro, pleeease. PPlease. Ah. Ah. Oh, lord, Tesoro. I need....ah, please."

His face is plastered to my neck and I dig my free hand into his hair to hold him there. He hasn't moved his hands an inch though I see them tremble and grasp.

"You're doing so well, yeah?" I whisper. "You sounds so good like this. I love it. I love hearing how badly you need this." I can feel his knees knock a little as I speak to him. "I've been thinking about this for weeks. Making you come undone for me like this. Did you think I hadn't noticed how pink you get when I tell you what to do?"

"Ah, Satanus. Por favor...." he wines. "por favor....." His hips are trying to press forward, but I've got him tight against the door. I up the pace of my strokes until he can hardly speak. Low gasps and whimpers escape him as I bring him higher.

"Are you close love? I need you to tell me when you're close. I want you to tell me when you’re going to cum." That pulls a little wail from him and he gasps, crushing his face deeper into my neck. "Oh, Santanus. Oh, Lucifer. "

"You gonna beg me, sweetheart?" I husk in his ear. "Come on. Say please?"

He doesn't manage it, curling tight over my body as he comes. His arms forget the door to crush me against him. Fingers grip my back and shoulder so hard it almost hurts and I can hear his breath stop completely for a moment. I let him hold me, pressing myself tight up against him, toes to head.

It hardly feels like he is going to stand on his own so I just clean him up with a conveniently located cloth and pepper his face with little kisses. I brush the damp hairs back from his brow and when he lifts his eyes to mine he still flushes a even brighter red.

I must look entirely too pleased with myself because he quickly closes them again and lets his head fall back against the door with a solid "thunk."

"Fuck", he breathes, "I...ah, just.....Fuck."

I am pleased with myself. Humming softly I tuck him back into his trousers and pull the edges of his collar down so I can kiss him long and hard before patting his chest and moving away back into his rooms. He doesn't follow me and I look back to see him still leaning against the door staring.

"Dinner?" I ask with a bright innocent smile.

He growls with narrowed eyes and launches himself into the room. Shrieking with laughter I race to the other side of his couch. "Come here..." he murmurs. And when I don't move he crooks a finger at me. "Topolino. Come on. Come. Here. "

It's so goddamn hot. I want to.

But.

"Make me." It's impossible to keep a grin off my face knowing that the whole wing of this abbey is definitely going to hear about when he catches me. I have the advantage of steady feet, but his eyes are dark and his smile dangerous.

I am super, super fucked.

[sweetpworld]

The P.A. - 1/2

Summary: Being a Personal Assistant is already a job full of ups and downs. When things start to change with your boss, you see yourself in a full on roller-coaster. Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Plus Size!Reader Word count: 9.262 in total (I GOT OUT OF CONTROL, SORRY) Warnings: Self-doubt, Body-shamming, Fat-shamming, mentions of smut and FLUFF. A/N: Ok, I’m trying this again after Tumblr went all riot on me. I still can’t believe I wrote over 9000 words, so I decided to make it a two-shot so MAYBE tumblr won’t fuck it up again.. I’m so sorry for any typos or grammar errors. English isn’t my primary language, so please, go easy on me. I’m really sorry if this turned out shitty, but I really feel good about the plot and I honestly hope you guys enjoy it.

----------

Another day on the set and here come the stares. Again.

It was always like this with you every time you showed up beside Sebastian, just because you were his fat personal assistant. Like, really people? Grow the fuck up.

When you first started this job you used to feel bad about this, about your body and about all these stupid people who keep on looking at the size 20 girl walking around them; but then, after a couple of months and receiving praises for your hell of a good job, you decided that people would still stare at you, but that didn’t mean you should care. You were here to do your job, not to please them.

You could still remember the day Mark Ruffalo was talking to Sebastian about the new movies and you were beside him taking notes and Mark said “Hey man, you know, your P.A. is a fucking good one. I don’t even know where mine is. If she was taking notes as much as yours is, I wouldn’t be as lost as I am most of the time.”. You all laughed at that, but that was also the moment where you understood that you weren’t a charity case. You were good at what you did and should be proud of that.

So here you are now, walking beside Sebastian with your head held high, iPad in hand and ready for the ridiculously crazy schedule you had for today. There was only one little thing that made your day harder than it should be: your boss.

Sebastian Stan is a very good-looking man and everyone knows that. All you need to do is look at him and bam: beauty. But after the last year and a half working with him, you have also met different sides that just made him look even more amazing in your eyes. Like the way he smiles at puppies, or how he works so hard on each role he gets, or how he loves his fans so much, or how inept he is with technology, or how he blushes so hard at compliments, as if he doesn’t know how amazing he is.

It’s a lot. Like, a lot. Specially for your heart to not fall for a man like him. But, of course, besides your job, there was always a problem with you having a crush on someone: they never liked you back.

Sebastian, for example, has a ‘dirty secret’. Not a problem or anything major, of course, but something that doesn’t come out to the public. He likes sex. A lot. And, let’s face it, it’s always easy for him to get someone to have one-night stands. The thing is that you are the one to deal with them later. So You're the one in charge of making them sign a confidentially contract, take away their phones to make sure they don’t have any pics or videos and finally send them on their ways while Sebastian is hitting the gym or something. And the thing is they are always the same tall, skinny and glamorous type of woman.

If you weren’t sure that he would never feel attracted to you before he asked to take care of them, you were completely sure after. So it was still hard to see him flirting with any good-looking woman that shows interest in him, but it helped your efforts to get over him, in a way.

-Hello Mr. Stan, hello Y/N. You look lovely today.

You were brought back from your thoughts by Jack’s greeting. He is Anthony’s personal assistant and has always been really nice to you.

-Jack. Shouldn’t you be with Mackie? - Sebastian asked him coldly. Which was odd, since he was always very friendly with everyone.

-I’m just going to take his coffee, Mr. Stan, but thought I should say hello to you. And to Y/N, of course.

-Well, hi Jack. Thank you for being so thoughtful. - You said smiling at him and giving Sebastian a look when he scoffed. - But go on and take Anthony’s coffee, I’m sure he is waiting.

-Right, well, we talk later, right Y/N?

-Of course. See you later! - You said walking quickly to catch up with Sebastian, who was already a few steps ahead. It was very odd, but you wouldn't make a scene out of it, so you just kept on going and decided to ignore it. Maybe Jack did something that bothered Sebastian or whatever.

And this was pretty much how your week went by: lots of appointments, taking care of Sebastian’s needs, watching him being rude with Jack every time you two were talking for a bit, not getting it any of those times, and just pretty much ignoring it. And just like that came Friday and you couldn’t be happier. Fridays meant Sebastian would go find a hook up and that meant free time for you. At least until the next morning, when you’d be needed to take away the trash, of course. But you were still glad to have a day to get home, put on some comfy pajamas e just chill.

Soon came the end of the day, it was getting darker, and Sebastian was finished for the day. You waited for him to change and met him back on the car waiting for you.

-Ok, so tonight you don’t have anything planned, tomorrow afternoon, starting at 2 p.m. you have a photoshoot for Hugo Boss and tomorrow night I’ll need you to attend an art exhibit that is raising money for the children’s hospital. But I’m sure you can find a woman for you there, so you won’t sacrifice your Saturday night’s fun. I’ll make sure to be at your place tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. with coffee and the papers for whichever lady you pick tonight. - You said checking your week agenda.

-Actually, you don’t have to worry about the papers. - Sebastian said beside you, looking out the window.

-Why? Is there a girlfriend this time? Because if not I have to do that so they don’t go around spreading picks of you naked on Facebook, IG or Twitter.  - you said still not looking up.

-No, nothing like a girlfriend. Nothing at all actually. - He said turning to look at you when you shot your head up to eye him.

-What do you mean ‘nothing at all’? - you said eyeing him suspiciously.

-I mean that I don’t want any girl tonight. Or tomorrow for that matter. - He said turning his head to the window again.

You were shocked. Like, for real. You were just sitting there, gapping at him like a fish and not knowing what to say.

-But... But... You always... Are you okay? - you ended up asking him.

-Yeah, I am more than okay. I have realized some things in the past few months and I just don’t want random woman anymore. - He said smiling softly, still looking out the window.

-Oh... Well... Good for you then. I mean, if you are happy, then that’s what matter, right? In that case, I’ll show up around 10 a.m. at your place, is that okay? - you asked him still slightly confused.

-You work too hard. Don’t worry, show up at midday and I’ll be ready, okay? I want you to rest and have a good night of sleep.- he said smiling and looking softly at you.

-O...kay. I won’t say that I don’t appreciate that, but are you certain you are okay? - you asked him again.

-Trust me, I am. I just need some me time to figure some things out. - He said taking your hand and kissing it. - We are here. Go get some rest.

You turned, still stunned that he was acting all weird like that and saw that you were indeed in front of your building.

-Well, who would’ve known? Maybe I should be in shock every time I take the bus so it goes faster.

He chuckled at that. - You were always funny.

You smiled, still confused, but decided that you needed some wine and your best friend to talk to. - Well then, I see you tomorrow at midday. Bye Sebastian, good night.

You didn’t wait for him to reply nor did you turned back once inside your building. If you had done any of those things you would have heard him saying a soft “Good night, love” and asking the driver to wait until you were out of sight.

----------

Once inside your apartment you called your best friend, Victor, inviting him to go over your place.

-Sure girl, I’ll be there in 40 minutes. Should I bring pizza?

-Absolutely. The Supreme with extra cheese.

-Okay, I get it, something happened, probably hot boss, don’t worry, I’ll be there.

He hung up on you, but you just smiled softly. Your friend was the worse, but he made it work the best. So you took a shower, put on some cute pj’s and shoved another bottle of wine on the cooler. You just knew you would need it. Not much later Victor arrived with two pizzas and 4 different Ben & Jerry’s.

-You know, if I didn’t need those today, I’d beat the crap out of you for ruining my diet.

-Girl, shush and live a little. Now, be a good friend and grab the wine. I’m taking these beauties to the freezer and those beauties to your coffee table.

Once everything was settled, you were already eating and “The Proposal” was on your T.V; Victor decided to do what he does best: go straight to business.

-So, care to tell me why you needed my wonderful assistance?

-Why, can’t a girl just love to spend time with her bff?

-Uh nuh. Cut the crap. We both know you have something bothering you and if I was to bet I’d bet it has something to do with Mr. Sebastian Hot-Body-And-Jawline-For-Days Stan. A.K.A. your boss.

Taking a deep breath you looked up to your ceiling – Ok, fine, yes, it has to do with him, but I seriously need your opinion here. - You said turning to look at him. Victor simply held your hand and signed you to keep going. - Okay, so you and I both know that Sebastian likes to have one night stands, right?

-Almost as much as I like those.

-Yes, exactly. And every Friday and Saturday night he finds someone to hook up with. And I am the one responsible to take care of them the morning after.

-You take out the trash.

-Yes, exactly again. So, what would you think if I told you he told me to not worry because he doesn’t want any woman today OR tomorrow? Like, at all. - You asked watching Victor pensive face.

-Well, that is odd, I’ll give you that. Did you ask him if he was feeling okay? Maybe he has a cold or something.

-I did ask him and he just said something about ‘realizing things for a few months now’. - you said making quotation marks with your fingers.

-Was it just that? I mean, was it the only weird thing about that talk?

-Well, he seemed a bit light-headed, you know? And he kissed my hand. Like right before I got out of the car.

-Hum… elaborate.

-There's nothing much of it, really. He was just off, smiling while looking out the window, dismissing his woman hunt, kissing my hand and telling me he wanted me to rest and have a good night of sleep.

Victor and you stared at each other for a couple of secseconds.

-BITCH, I KNOW HIS TEA! – He yelled all of a sudden making you jump.

-Oh my GOD, what?

-He is into you.

You stared at his smiley face for a couple of seconds, trying to decide if the was serious or not.

-What?

-He. Is. Into. You. It's obvious. He likes you.

-And you say that because of what exactly? He kissed my hand? C'mon V, you can't be serious. – you said pouring some more wine for you.

-Look, I am a guy, okay? A gay man, but that's the closest we have to thinking like a straight man right now. And as a guys I don’t stop sleeping around and show affection to someone if I am not really into said person. In fact, I only realized I wanted to date Nick because I didn’t feel like having sex with any other guy but him. And look at me now. Going for our second anniversary and still in love with the motherfucker. And let me tell you this: that Italian guy, Paolo, was a hell of a good lay.

-Okay, I get it. No need to be grafic. Again. But you don't have all the facts.

-And what am I missing.

-You're missing the fact that it is impossible.

-Oh my Zeus, girl! – he said rolling his eyes and taking a deep breath. – Why is that so impossible for you?

-It just is, V.

-No, I will have none of that. Talk to me Y/N/N. Why its it so impossible? – you sat there in silence for a couple of seconds – You can open up, you know. You don't have to share, but you don't have to carry whatever is inside your head alone either.

-I… It's just… - You took a deep breath, trying to focus on what to say – V, I am not the kind of woman who gets the guys.

-What do you mean?

-V… I am not like you. I don't have 7 or more guys lining up to take me out even if I was dating someone. Guys… People don't find me attractive.

-Y/N/N… But I see you with guys sometimes.

-Yeah, drunk guys who don't know who they are kissing on night club. Or guys who have a fat fetish. But I just don't have what you have, okay? Have I ever introduced you to someone and said ‘this is my boyfriend’s?

-Not that I remember…

-And you won't remember because there was never this person… The thing is, I am not pretty. I am fat. And no one really wants to know me. Specially guys. I act like people don’t affect me, but they do. So, it doesn't matter if I am smart or funny or whatever. No one will love you if you're unattractive. I used to hear that back in my school days and I hate to have figured it out it's true. It's real. No one could possibly want me. And that's why people like you and Sebastian and so many others can jump from relationship to relationship. I mean, there is an interview where Sebastian says ‘no matter what I do I always end up between Black Widow’s legs’. But he means it like it’s the most amazing thing in the world. Have you ever seen Scarlet Johansson? That woman is a Goddess so of course it is the best thing in the world. – you took a sip of your wine only to realize how sour it tasted now – Sebastian has always gone for model like woman ever since I know him. I am a fucking size 20. And I can't just take the fucking zero from that number and change its place. Therefore, he can't like me. No matter what I feel and no matter how much I try… It's impossible.

Victor took your hand in his and made you look at him.

-You couldn't possibly know how much it pains me to see you looking at yourself like this. – he said on the verge of tears – How much I am angry that you don't see yourself like I do. Do you have any idea how beautiful I think you are? Do you have any idea how I envy your fashion sense? Do you have any idea how many times I've said to Nick and so many others what a lucky bastard the guy who dated you would be? Too many to count. I am not saying that because I am your friend. I am saying that because you are truly amazing. Y/N, you are fat. And you are smart. And you are funny. And you are beautiful. And you are all of those things together because you don't have to be just one single thing. And Sebastian will be a fucking fool if he doesn't see that. Or any other man for that matter. You know what? I am texting Nick because I will marry you and he will be my dirt little not so much of a secret. You are my best friend Y/N, and I can assure you: any man who dates you is a hell of a lucky son of a bitch. And I will pay someone to beat whoever hurts you again, because let's face it, I am too thin and can't beat anyone up.

You both laughed at that and hugged each other, just enjoying the comforting bubble you two always build when together.

-Are you seeing him tomorrow? – He asked after a couple of minutes with the movie being the only sound in the room.

-Yeah. He has a photoshoot tomorrow afternoon and then a charity event. I have to go to both.  – you said almost in a whisper.

-Well, then let me doll you up. I love your fashion sense, but I want to make you extra.

-Oh God, I created a monster.

-Yes you did. Call me Frankie. Now, let's eat chocolate ice cream, watch some stupid horror movies and romcons, I will get those pjs I always leave here and tomorrow I will make you look even more stunning. Okay?

-Will you not do it if I say “no"?

-Absolutely not. You will be my beautiful size 20 doll and you will like it.

You smiled softly at your friend. Maybe dolling up a bit more wouldn't be that bad.

----------

The next day you woke up at 10 a.m., the latest you had ever woken up on a Saturday, to the sight of Victor already up and checking your closed for whatever he wanted you to wear.

-Good morning sunshine! - he said in a sing song voice – I've chosen the perfect outfit for you already, so get up, eat some leftover pizza, take a shower and put on that amazing matching underwear I got you for your birthday. Go on! There is also makeup.

Groaning you made your way around doing just as he said and, surprisingly, you were content with what he had picked out for you: black leggings, a black dress-like shirt with some sparkle in it that you adored, your favorite ankle boots and your favorite leather jacket. All black, but that would be great, especially for the art exhibit. So, you put them on over the sexy lingerie he had given you as a birthday present: also black panties and a nice bra all in lace. You actually loved it.

So you put them on, applied a bit of makeup and your favorite red lipstick that always made you feel a bit more powerful and left your room.

-Oh wow. Damn bitch, you look stunning. Hot and stunning. Hotunning. - Victor said making you laugh.

-Why thank you. I have a good stylist.

-I know bitch, I know. Now Let’s go. I’ll drop you off at Sebastian’s apartment before going to Nick’s.

After a short drive you hugged Victor goodbye and thanked him for helping you out.

-Y/N, we are friends, I have no problem helping you out any time of the day. I know you still think it’s impossible for Sebastian to be into you, but I will ask you one thing and one thing only.

-Fine, what is it? - you said rolling your eyes.

-Pay attention to him today. And try to not say “it’s nothing”. See if his behavior is still the same and try to think positively, okay?

Taking a deep breath, you opened the car’s door. - I can’t make any promises, but I will pay attention.

Waving him bye you greeted the doorman and went straight for the elevators.

Going up, you couldn’t stop thinking about what V had said, but a bigger part of you kept on thinking it was just impossible.

Shrugging the thoughts out of your head, you put on your best professional face and knocked on his door before using your spare key to get in his place. What you weren’t expecting was for him to open the door for you wearing only jeans, socks and no fucking shirt; making your eyes go bigger than plates and your mouth drier than a fucking desert.

-Hey Y/N! You’re here earlier than I expected. Come in, please. You look even more beautiful as usual.

-Good morning Sebastian. I’m sorry, I was just to let myself in. I should’ve brought you some coffee. - You said after cleaning your throat and trying to focus on anything but his muscles or what he had just said. After a few seconds to do just that, you turned to him again. - Are you wearing jeans today? It’s not a problem for the photoshoot, but it’s a bit underdressed for the exhibit. I should just pack you another set of clothes. - You said moving towards his room.

-Hey hey Y/N, it’s no problem. I can just change. It’ll save us some time, right?

And just like that he unbuttoned his jeans and started to take them off in front of you.

Usually, when he had to change shirts real fast, he would do it inside of a car or whatever and you always had a few seconds to prepare yourself. But he never, ever, changed pants in front of you before. So, of course, you turned as red as your lipstick and it took you a few more seconds than it should for you to turn around and try to not droll at the sight. Key word: try.

-I will just change real fast. Sit and relax, okay?

-Sure. - You could beat yourself for the high-pitched voice, but at the moment, you were just trying to get a grip on your heart.

You sat down on his very comfortable couch and took some deep breaths that were helping you calm down. That was until he came back in only his boxers and two pants in his hands, asking you which one would go better. This mas is trying to fucking kill you, you are sure of that.

-What? - your brain was completely mushed at this point and the only thing you could see was Sebastian fuckingly-handsome Stan in only black boxers and socks in front of you, so answering anything was just not possible.

-Which one of the pants will look better for the occasion? - He asked smirking at you.

-Ahn... - You forced yourself to eye both of them – The dark blue one. It goes well with pretty much anything, is dark enough for a night-time event, but also light enough to pass as a casual look. - Finally, one good and professional answer.

-Yeah, I like this one too. And It will make me look good next to you. - He said turning around and going to his bedroom again.

-As if you wouldn’t look good any time – You said under your breath. Only to then realize what he had said. What did he mean by ‘look good next to you’? He is really ill, that must be it.

The next time he left his room he was fully dressed and smelling better than ever. The bastard was using your favorite male perfume.

-So, let’s go? - he asked adjusting his hair.

-Yeah, sure. I’ll order us some light lunch when we get to the studio. I’m calling the driver.

-Or... - He said putting his hand on top of your phone. When did he get so close to you? - We could go get lunch together since we still have time and then go to the studio. - He said smiling expectedly to you. - I know a really nice Italian place not far from there that has one of the best tiramisus I’ve ever tasted. Besides yours, of course.

This man was just a fucking player and no one could tell you otherwise. He was looking at you like a lost puppy, bringing on your love for Italian food AND telling you he had actually eaten the tiramisu you made once for your birthday? Your favorite desert ever? What the fuck is going on?

-Are you ill? - You end up asking.

He looks surprised at that. - No. Why do you ask that?

-You are just acting very weird since yesterday. As your personal assistant, I need to worry. - You said hoping you were giving your best professional face, instead of the utterly confused one you were feeling.

He looked at you for a minute, as if looking for something, only to smirk back at you. - I fell amazing, Y/N/N. And I just want to have lunch with a beautiful woman who happens to be my assistant.

-O...kay... - There goes your brain and your ovaries. Again. - I’ll call the driver.

As soon as you stepped into the kitchen to make the call Sebastian let out a full-on smile, feeling proud of himself.

Since he first hired you, he knew there was something different in the way he felt towards you. He didn’t know what it was at first, but that changed when Anthony hired that stupid Jack as his assistant and he started to flirt with you. Sebastian could swear he saw red whenever the two of you were interacting. The only thing keeping him calm on those times was seeing how you didn’t care for his intentions or maybe didn’t notice at all.

He was no fool, he knew damn well what the media kept on telling woman how the ‘perfect’ body is and how many people would give you stupid looks whenever you walked beside him. And he could admit he also believed that shit for a while. He would always look for woman deemed as ‘perfect’: tall, slim, usually blonde with big boobs. And he always had his fun with them, but that was always it. They never had anything new. Gorgeous, yes. Some of them really smart too and some quite funny. But they were pretty much always the same.

Then he began to really notice you. You were really pretty at first and had an amazing fashion sense. You would always wear what you wanted and even leggings and jeans jackets would look really put together on you. But there was more to you than that. He started to notice how you would always throw your head back when smiling, how perfect your smile was; he took notice of the way you laughed and how you always tried to help people around you. He took notice of how much you loved your friends and how proud you were when any of them were successful. He took notice of the was your Y/E/C would change in the sun, how your skin always looked so soft, and then he started to notice how much he wanted to feel you.

Gosh, he wants to feel you. Your skin, your embrace, your heat, everything.

When he realized that he tried to tell himself it was just some crazy thought that would go away in no time. But then he started to not enjoy his hook ups so much. He didn’t feel like kissing of having sex with any other woman anymore. He started to feel guilty whenever you showed up at his place to send the woman away. And then, the last drop was when he actually moaned your name while fucking another woman. She was pissed, to say the least, but also agreed to wait until you got there.

He called Anthony the very same day when he went to the gym, asked to meet him there and told him everything.

“You do know you’re in love, right?” - Anthony said to him, back then.

“No, I’m not. I just... I don’t know.” - He said frustrated with himself.

“Okay, fine then, let me ask you this: If you’re not in love with her, would you be okay if Jack started dating her? Because he wants to.” - Anthony said watching his friend’s face transform into one of pure rage only to end up punching one of the sand bags that were near them. - “Thought so. The thing is why are you so afraid to like her? You’ve dated before.”

“It’s not that. It... It will sound stupid.” - He said sitting down and lowering his head.

“Good. Love should be stupid. Go on.” - Anthony said patting his shoulder.

“Shisatntmdiaillhafafilledday” - He said with his face in his hands.

“I’m sorry what? I don’t speak Romanian or whatever language you were speaking just now”

Taking a deep breath, Sebastian let go of his face and said slowly, in a whisper - “She is, you know, fat. And the media will have a filled day.”

Anthony’s hand fell off his shoulder and made him turn to his friend only to see his face contort in the angriest he has ever seen.

“You are fucking kidding me, right? Tell me you are kidding me, please.” - Anthony said with a tremor in his voice.

“I-”

“No, that was rhetorical because you better be damn kidding with me. You know what Sebastian, I came here because I noticed your feelings for her long ago as was just waiting for you to finally figure things out. It’s so obvious and the only person who hasn’t noticed is Y/N. Don’t you have any idea why she doesn’t notice the way you look at her or the way Jack constantly flirts with her? Because we live in a fucked up society and she probably had to live her entire life hearing that no one would love her because she is fat. As if that is such a problem. As if that is a good enough reason to forget how amazing she is. She pull a fucking tough face fin front of everyone, but if you look close enough she is always looking at thin woman with longing, desperately wanting to be like them, because of people like you who care so fucking much about appearance and made her think that is the only that would make anyone like her for her.”

He was almost screaming at the end of that speech, but Anthony didn’t care at this point. He just didn’t want to make more of a scene, so he took a deep breath before looking at Sebastian right in the eyes.

“You are handsome and you were always handsome. You never had to go to school and hear people making fun of you. I bet in school girls fought for your attention, just like some woman still do today. So, you have no idea what if feels like to be different, to not meet society’s standard of beauty and grow up with people constantly tearing you apart. Fuck society and fuck the media. Since when should they rule your personal life? But if you really think that Y/N being fat is such a problem, do her a favor and leave her be. She doesn’t need someone like that messing up with her heart. Okay?”

Anthony got up and left that day, but what he said replayed on Sebastian’s mind like a broken record. And thank the gods for that. Thanks to Anthony he realized the media could go fuck themselves. He is in love with you, not just for your body, but for you. He wants your body and he wants your heart. He just wants you.

That was when he decided the was done pretending and began to make anything in his power to make you his. Starting by not going for any more random hook ups and trying to see if you could feel the same way towards him.

He hoped you did.

----------PART 2

Ok guys, I wanted it to be a one-shot but Tumblr wants to get personal with me. So, Hopefully, this part 1 won’t have any problems. Thank you to @iamdorka for pointing the problem to me.

Tagging those who showered interest in this fic and I hope this works out this time:  @calumsbiceps96  @angelus320  @mikaelasingswritesloves  @nutmegroo1514 and I’m tagging my lovely mutual @andyl394 who I hope also enjoys this. Let me know of any problems again, okay?

Love you guys!!!

[obsessed-withthe-hales]

Full Count (Part 10 of Curve Ball)

Summary: An accidental collision. Lucky shoes. Baseball lessons. As much as they might try to deny it, fate seemed to be working to bring Derek and Y/N together. But being in each other’s lives could prove to be more complicated than either one of them bargained for.

Author’s Note: So, I’ve had this done for awhile. Then I moved, started work, left for a nine day trip...and realized I forgot to post this! I’m sorry this is unbelievably delayed, I am The Worst. But it is finally here and I’m so very excited to share this with you! Please let me know what you think :)

As always, a HUGE thank you to my co-pilot on this series, @snipsnsnailsnwerewolftales!!! She is so amazing to work with and always such great ideas!!! I can’t even say thanks enough <3

Warnings: Probably language; awkward tension

Tags: @wheresthekillswitch, @urwarriorangel, @palaiasaurus64, @melanie451, @houseofrahl, @life-what-life-i-dont-have-one, @splashofbi, @livinglife-dsa, @miaforeverblue, @imadangerouscause, @noordinarymagic, @viahalsvy, @cryingbecausesebastianstan, @palaiasaurus64, @wheresthekillswitch, @fannytf, @jazzrivera27, @boofy1998, @julieanncupcake, @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme

*******************************************************************************************

Being back was weird.

Getting into the habit of going to classes again, figuring out my new schedule for the semester (plus finding all the new buildings), and trying to start doing homework again…it was weird. My body had been on sleep and relaxation mode for the last few weeks over break, so even getting up in the mornings to get ready was a struggle. But there was a bright side: seeing my friends again.

Stiles and I had texted pretty much every day, even coordinating movie viewing parties from miles away. By the time break was over, I think I had burnt Uncle Chris out on Star Wars so bad that he couldn’t even stand to hear the titles. Seeing Scott again was great, too. And spending time with Lydia, something I had severely slacked on last semester, was amazing. She and I had sat for hours catching up the night we came back, finally retiring to bed once the clock hit an obscene hour.

While all of that had been awesome, there was one thing that kept lingering in the back of my mind: Derek. I had managed to not think about him constantly over the holidays, which was a HUGE accomplishment, but as soon as I started packing my things to head back to school, it was like someone had opened the floodgates. What if I run into him? Literally...again. Or even worse: what if I bump into him, literally...again...and he completely ignores me? What if I see him first, should I wave or smile or call out or just pretend like I don’t see him at all? It was like the irrational part of my brain was in hyperdrive and the off switch was broken.

Irrationality did not make a great start to the new semester.

We were three days in and I was as paranoid as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I tried to make easy conversation with Stiles as we walked together between classes, tried to not scan every room that I walked into for his face, tried not to listen for his voice meshed into the background in the student center or dining halls or walking down the sidewalk. You’re acting like a crazy person, Y/N. He’s not hiding around the corner waiting to jump out at you! If only the rational part of my brain had current control over my mind….

“I was thinking Lord of the Rings this time, what do you think?” Stiles’ voice broke me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, what?”

“Lord of the Rings. Movie weekend. Kicking off the semester,” he said, hands waving about. “Did you get any of that?”

“Uh…I got LOTR and that’s about it,” I admitted. “Sorry Stiles. I’ve had some…stuff…on my mind.” The look in my best friend’s eyes told me he most likely knew to what I was referring, but he decided to not push, something I was really grateful for.

“My room, this weekend. We’ll start off a new semester with a new set of movies! Are you free? I mean, I’m assuming you are so I expect you to be there, I’m just asking out of courtesy.” Giving him a playful elbow in the ribs, I smiled and agreed to attend, much to Stiles’ delight.

“I have a meeting with Professor Yukimura Friday after class, but I’ll come straight over after that.”

“Perfect! Alright, this is my stop,” he sighed as we approached a split in the sidewalk. “I will see you Friday night then. Also,” Stiles paused, moving to stand in front of me. His face got about as serious as his could before he spoke again, this time much softer. “I know the you-know-who stuff sucks, but it’ll get better with time. Okay? You know I’m here for you.” My cheeks heated up just the slightest, but I smiled at the brown-eyed boy in front of me.

“Thanks, Stiles. Really.”

“Anytime.” With that, he clapped his hand- his right hand- on my shoulder and gave a goofy grin. “Plus, I could give him a stern talking to at baseball practice once it starts up again next week. Take my trusty bat and pull him to the side…”

“Slow down there, killer,” I laughed. “No need for all that.”

“Just putting the offer out there,” he replied, beginning to walk backwards. “See you Friday!” And with that, he turned around and was off.

I know, Alli, you really like Stiles. I do, too.

*line break*

“I already have two papers and a chem lab assigned,” Scott groaned, plopping down next to me on the futon in their dorm room. “This is off to a great start.”

“Tell me about it,” I snorted. “I met with Yukimura today and he gave me the rundown of what all he’s teaching this semester and what he’ll need my help with and seriously, I’m not sure how I’m going to handle all that on top of my regular work load.”

“Y/N, you’re practically a genius. And history is your forte. I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Stiles said, the compliment making my cheeks warm. “Plus, can’t you like opt out if it becomes too much?”

“Yeah, that’s true. I’d just hate to stick him with everything.” Letting out a sigh, I tried to shake those stress-inducing thoughts from my head. “Anyway, it’ll probably be fine, just like you said. Come on, Stilinski let’s get this movie started!”

“I’m trying, I’m trying,” Stiles grumbled, frantically searching for something. Scott and I exchanged confused looks before he cleared his throat and spoke up.

“Uh Stiles…what the hell are you looking for?”

“Popcorn! We can’t have movie night without popcorn! I swear we had some leftover…” Slamming the drawer he had been digging through closed, Stiles ran a hand down his face in defeat, popping out one hip and propping his free hand on it. Quirking a brow at his distress, I jumped up from the futon and jammed my thumb toward the door.

“I’ll just go grab some from my dorm. I can be there and back in like twenty-ish minutes?”

“No, don’t worry about it,” Stiles muttered, shuffling toward his bed. “It’ll be late by the time you get back and you shouldn’t go alone, especially in the dark-“

“Well, how about you guys come with me and we just move the viewing party to my room?” I offered. “I just have to text Lydia and see if she’s okay with that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, totally.” Pulling out my phone, I shot her a quick message, receiving an almost instant reply of assent. “Alright, grab everything and let’s go!”

“You’re sure Lydia’s okay with this? It’s a long movie,” Scott asked.

“Oh definitely,” I assured him. “She’s secretly a huge LOTR fan. She’ll love it.” I paused and pursed my lips, thinking for a moment. “Don’t tell her I told you that.”

As we shuffled down the hallway of Stiles and Scott’s dorm, arms loaded with extra blankets and pillows, I chuckled at Stiles’ continuous rant of the mysterious popcorn disappearance. Scott and I exchanged knowing looks, silently agreeing that yes, our friend was ridiculous and had likely eaten the rest of the popcorn himself sometime during finals week as it was one of his go-to stress foods, but we didn’t have the heart to suggest that, instead just letting him ponder out loud. I was paying much more attention to Stiles’ words than anything else, not hearing the opening and closing of a room door as we rounded the corner.

Stiles stumbled, causing his blankets to shift in his arms and begin to unfold. Because I am the world’s greatest klutz, my foot- left foot-  found the corner of the blanket that now reached the floor, tugging it out of my best friend’s arms and resulting in my subsequent descent toward the ground. Landing with a thud, but thankfully on top of Scott’s pillow that I had been carrying, my eyes drifted along the dingy carpet to find the toes of sneakers that I recognized all too well.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Scott asked, concern in his voice as he knelt down to help free me from the blanket’s evil clutches. All the words to formulate a coherent response to his kind question had suddenly vacated my brain, however, because I was staring right into the exact pair of green eyes I had been dreading seeing. You have got. To be. Kidding me.

“Derek!” Stiles exclaimed, his face not hiding his surprise and mild panic well at all. “How uh- how was your…your break?” He was trying so very hard to act casual, bless his soul, but the boy could not help but to feed into the awkward tension already suffocating the hallway. Thankfully, Derek’s eyes shifted from mine to Stiles’ as he spoke, giving me the opportunity to scramble to my feet with Scott’s help. I could feel my cheeks burning bright red, just knowing that they could all hear my hammering heart. Act natural, Y/N. So you fell, no big deal! It’s fine. Totally. Fine.

“It was alright,” Derek answered, not offering much more than that. Aaaaand there’s that voice. That damn nice voice. Wait, no stop that! Stiles pursed his lips and nodded. The four of us just stood there in the middle of the hallway, the silence becoming more and more weird as time passed. Oh my god, somebody say something PLEASE! This is like the longest anyone has ever gone without speaking, ever.

“Are you ready for practice to start up next week?” Scott asked, his question breaking the silence and making me sigh internally with relief.

“Yeah, should be good.” Scott’s eyes squinted in curiosity at this second short response, but he didn’t push any further. I forced myself to fix my gaze back on the ground as I felt Derek turn back toward me, desperately not wanting to have to speak to him. Thankfully, Stiles came to the rescue.

“Well!” he announced, readjusting the load in his arms. “We should get moving. Don’t wanna…be out too late.” With that, his hand subtly found my back and nudged me forward, Scott in tow as we hustled out of the dorm. Once out in the crisp night air, I took a deep breath and let the freshness try to stamp out all that awkward tension.

“I know he doesn’t usually say much, but that was weird even for Derek,” Scott noted. Stiles and I agreed before quickly dropping the subject and heading in the direction of my building.

I knew that things were tense and weird between Derek and I after…everything…but something still didn’t feel quite right. Maybe it was just me being too optimistic, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he might have been extra broody and withdrawn for more reasons than just seeing me.

[readfelice-blog]

moominland chronicles Sechszehn: bloody tale of woe continued

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days,

Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days,

Thursday, Friday, Happy Days,

The weekend comes, my cycle hums

Ready to race to you

These days are ours

Happy and free. (Oh Happy Days)

These days are ours

Share them with me.(Oh baby)

Goodbye grey sky, hello blue,

there's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

feels so right you can't be wrong,

rockin' and rollin' all week long.

Saturday, what a day

Groovin' all week with you

It’s Wednesday // now its Sunday (I couldn’t finish this on Wednesday, it was still to close).

First off I’m asking for money, I will go into more depth next week because I’m facing the crisis of what the value of my work really is, for now this is my Crowdfunding campaign:

https://igg.me/at/bocemachtocho/x/19564227

Please support if you can.

Music….

Just listen to these, they’re both little slices of genius that deserve your time:

LYDIA LUNCH Queen of Siam

https://www.discogs.com/Lydia-Lunch-Queen-Of-Siam/release/392276

NICOLAS JAAR Hardcore Ambient Mix

https://soundcloud.com/otherpeoplerecords/nicolas-jaar-harcore-ambient …

Here’s the recap and then what happened next on my fine romp through the German Health service…

MONDAY 1/10/18

bleeding

First clot plops out, come into contact with rude receptionists, no one will give me an appointment

TUESDAY 2/10/18

bleeding

Horrible morning cleaning, go to TK and sort my insurance, go to emergency doctor who tells me to go to a gynaecologist

WEDNESDAY 3/10/18

bleeding

Home all day making work, have a little singsong at night. (national holiday - no doctors open)

THURSDAY 4/10/18

Bleeding

Go to job, go to gynaecologist who's not there / will be going on holiday, ring more rude receptionists, fall into the office of a gynaecologists pleading for help, take my pants off, get ultrasound spy dildo inserted up me, bleed all over the doctor. Am told I am pregnant, am told I am not pregnant, am told to go to hospital and go to my insurance. Go to my insurance, get my letter, wander round seemingly abandoned hospital, go home broken.

Oh, ask for help- email my boss / mentor and tell her what’s going on. Email all my clients and cancel all my jobs for the next week.

FRIDAY 5/10/18

Bleeding

Wake up and get a taxi to hospital.

Beg to be seen by someone.

Female gynaecologist sees me this time - take my pants off, get ultrasound spy dildo inserted up me and am roughly routed around in with alarming metal objects and no warning that it will hurt or being asked whether I am in pain. Am told it’s not a baby its a polyp, am scheduled for surgery, spend 2 hours filling in forms, waiting, am given appointment for 9.30am Monday morning and turfed out. Leave, realise I can’t get the note from my doctor (they’re all closed) I need before the weekend, go back, cry at admin assistant, have minor breakdown, am settled and sent away.

Sit shakily on bench in small square by U Bahn on the grounds of the hospital, talk to Moon, go home, tuck myself in and bleed.

My mentor says she’ll come to see me at the hospital, what do I like to eat (I have to stay overnight).

SATURDAY 6/10/18

Bleeding

Move very little, bleed very much, buy some food.

SUNDAY 7/10/18

Bleeding

Much like Saturday but I write and publish my blog.

My mentor asks me what time to come see me.

First wave of friends that read blog get in contact,

“Felice ….. now im sneakily reading your bloody ( literally bloody this time) blog to find out whats actually happening with you. I hope you´re okay!, and if you ever do ask for help I will do my best to help you.”

MONDAY 8/10/18

Bleeding

Get up 6AM, have shower very slowly, am in a lot of pain (its worst in the morning), sit outside my house and wait for Taxi, get taxi, tell the driver I miss free healthcare, he tells me he misses his family in Istanbul. Am deposited outside doctors (to ask for note), wait for 20 mins to get slip of paper and give the receptionist a hug.

Get another uber to Hospital, he leaves me at the gates and I walk to the Frauen Klinik, not sure of where to go I wait at registration then am directed up to my ward and power off with 45 minutes till my surgery, the admin assistant tells me “alles gut”.

Up at station 35, the nurses are friendly, I go to another registration office, back to wait in overcrowded little patient room, fill in a tome of forms in German using the camera on Google Translate to try make sense of them, hand back the forms and slyly observe the small Russian family to my right, the son talks expansively, the mother is softly spread from middle age and fairly tethered to the father, she beckons him to join her but he’s brittle and stands by the window instead, I don’t know what's wrong with her.

30 minutes after my scheduled surgery, 10am, then 45, I am called in to a nurses office where she tell’s me, as if I should know, I’ve been rescheduled for 12:50, she's nice and she tries to speak English, she asks what becomes some kind of pass code,

“Have you eaten on drunk anything today? Do you have any allergies?”

The nurse will take you to your room now, but go back and wait first.

I encounter a gorgeous young elfin nurse and ask if I can go a cigarette on my way to the patient room, where more people are piled in now, she says yes 5 minutes, I promise thats what I’ll do.

Inhale cigarette run back upstairs.

She’s there again, she didn’t know I was scheduled for surgery! Tell them when they take you to your room, just in case.

I stand in the corridor for 20 mins, there is nowhere to sit in the patient room.

A nurse comes and deposits me in my room, it's like places I’ve stayed in generic expansive hotels, a Holiday Inn perhaps, charge my phone, hug my pig because of course I brought him. A nurse enters roughly 30 mins later and tells me to change, its the young elfin nurse, I bundle my things in the cupboard and lock the door, give her the key. Then I change and wait.

In comes another nurse, high cheekbones and a wide smile, I climb into bed but manage to get her to listen to me when I say I’ve had a cigarette, a gasp, she calls down to surgery, a moment where I’m not sure if they’ll operate, but its ok and off we go. I am wheeled to the lift, she touches my shoulder often, she's forgotten all her notes and runs back to the room leaving me lying by the lift, she comes back, still no notes, they’re under my pillow. We continue.

It's like a hospital drama from first person perspective, I’m scared, I’ve never been wheeled around in a bed before, the viewpoint is totally new and robs you of all your independence, I am just a body, unable to move, looking up at the people that flash in and out on my journey down to surgery.

“Have you eaten anything today? Do you have any allergies?” Repeated over and over again, I tell my surgeon I’m not sure sure how much I love Berlin after the last week, I tell the man that doesn’t introduce himself to me and has a strange smile on his face that makes me feel uncomfortable, that I’ve lived here for 6 months, I repeat “No I’ve not eaten anything, No I don’t have any allergies, I’m wheeled next to the operating table, my clothes are removed, a drip is stuck inside me and I’m given a mask, I precariously climb onto the table and then nothing….

I wake up blearily, to be told there was no polyp, its low estrogen, blinking, moments of consciousness, they explain what’s wrong me, or not in this case because they don’t know, there was a lot of blood, I feel like it’s my fault. I ask for the blood clots they’re removed, because I want to see them, but they’re never brought to me.

My nurse takes me back to my room, there’s another woman there now, I’m so frustrated that after an hour or so of sleep I stubbornly dress and go for a smoke, despite the head nurse on the ward saying “if you pass out, I’m not coming down to collect you.”

Then back up, more sleep, my rose quartz angel (mentor, but this is her true form) comes to visit, she brings lilies and salted chocolate, I tell her they didn’t find anything, I am still bleeding, now in my hospital pants rather than my own knickers. She leaves when the nurses bring in dinner, 2 slices of stale bread, 2 slices of plastic cheese, 4 patties of butter, cheese, to be honest I’m not sure. I eat them but am glad I have the chocolate to.

I’m still high on the drugs they’ve given me, I buzz up and down for cigarettes and feel strangely lucid, I text and read the books the rose quartz angel brought me, I try and pretend to myself that it’s all ok now.

My roommate is Russian, she speaks in German or Russian on her phone constantly, but she does not understand English, so we don’t talk. At 21:30 the head nurse administers pain killers and offers to freshen my back “no thanks” then my roommate turns off her light, so I do the same.

But I can’t sleep, so I just toss and turn, 2 hours or so later I wake and patter off to the kitchen to look for food, I’m starving, I find a container of muesli and some milk, I sneakily pour it in a cup alongside a cup of soup, then I craftily return to my room feeling like I’ve subverted the system somehow. The water isn’t hot enough for the cup of soup to melt so there’s fatty globs of it still in the cup, I eat everything anyway, in the dark, then I try to sleep. Another few hours and I manage some shut eye, my body is craving touch from another though, it’s desperately shouting at me.

Good Omens is funny isn’t it?

Eartheater has played and is now probably at some hedonistic afterparty.

TUESDAY 8/10/18

Bleeding

My roommate wakes before me, but I’m half awake, people come in and out (nurses to attend to her requests), she talks on the phone, at 9:00 they wheel in breakfast, 2 slices of stale bread, a piece of plastic cheese and more patties of butter, plus some questionable conserves.

This bread is tough.

A doctor comes in whilst breakfast is still at my side table,

“So you can go whenever you want, we told you what's wrong with you right?”

“When I was high on the drugs you’d given me yes.”

“It’s a hormonal imbalance, you need to go see your gynaecologist so they can give you the IUD.”

“Ok.”

There was no polyp, or alien baby, but I wasn’t conscious so how do I know.

I pack up and exit like a rockstar, but maybe the kind of rockstar your dad becomes at a disco after a few beers rather than Iggy Pop. Before I exit the hospital completely I go see the admin team about my insurance one last time, to ask if I have to call my insurance, because apparently this little hospital holiday will likely cost up to 30k, the woman tells me its ok and I give her a big hug, lilies still in hand, then I dance down to the street, I must still be high on drugs.

i sidestep to the office of the woman I cried at on Friday, because it wasn't her fault so I drew her my lilies to say sorry, she doesn’t have her flowery crocs on today but she's still oddly special and her eyes are crystalline as I run off.

But I’m still bleeding.

I go home on the U Bahn, via the gynaecologists I’ve now crashed into 3 times this week, but my welcome isn’t so warm this time. I need to see the doctor, maybe not today but this week, I hand them my referral note and my operation notes, she goes to talk to him. I get the impression I’m becoming an annoyance now, as if this is all my fault.

“He can see you in 10 days”

“I haven’t stopped bleeding, I need it to be sooner than that.”

She is still kind faced as she ponders this, “ok Thursday morning 8:30?”

“Thats my birthday but yes.”

I finally get home after making some heady announcements via email and facebook that all is right with the world again (drugs still? Who knows).

My rose quartz angel brings me a ton of leafy greens, soups, nuts, tea, yoghurt, chocolate, the care package from heaven and she sits in my little yellow kitchen briefly not drinking her tea.

“So did they take hormonal tests if they think its hormones?

Are you not scared?

I don’t think you should go back to this doctor, I think you need a second opinion and I think he’s a tool, get some more contacts and I’ll do a call round for you tomorrow, see what I can find.”

She had botched surgery before she moved to Berlin, there’s a hole in her mouth now, she called and emailed surgeons all over the world to consult with. She sat opposite a friend of the surgeons, another surgeon, who told her that her investigation could ruin his friends reputation, he didn’t give his opinion.

Doctors are humans to.

After she leaves I’m thrown back in to a land of exasperated worry, I trawl the internet to find more English speaking gynaecologists, I phone the doctor that discharged me, who is not happy to hear from me and through gritted teeth tells me there are no hormone tests, any medical professional would just know that it was an imbalance.

I go to bed worried, the bleeding is getting heavier again.

WEDNESDAY 10/10/18

Bleeding

After a very goog nights rest I receive a call from my rose quartz angel, shes got me an appointment way out at templehof in 2 hours. I dress and get ready slowly, all the connections are seamless, I feel like my angel is with me, I get to the doctors in good time.

Walking through the leafy grounds of the hospital with crisp autumn sun shimmering through the leaves that are a spectrum of warm colours. Not in a panic because my rose quartz angel has sent me a map as well. I walk in exactly on time, have a little tussle with the receptionist about my insurance card, am seated, wait on a white wicker chair reading Alan Watts. The waiting room is airy and feminine, the staff wear pink t-shirts and German pop echoes out from the speaker just to my right above me, I pour myself water and have a little cup of tea.

When my doctor comes out I look at her for 5 minutes before registering she's asking for my name.

Then I repeat my bloody tale of woe to her.

She doesn’t want to just bung me up with an IUD, it will cost me 300euros to do so (or there around) and it won’t solve the problem. She wants to have a look in my uterus as well, so I climb on to her chair and have the spy dildo inserted up me for the 3rd time in the last 7 days, but shes gentle, she tells me it might hurt and to let her know if I’m in pain.

“Well they did a good job of cleaning you out at least because there’s nothing in there now.”

Clothes back on, my ovaries look fine, she’s going to check with her senior doctor to see what he thinks.

I’m back in the waiting room, then in her office.

“So, pills to clot the blood and stop you bleeding. You don’t have to go on the pill, what do you think?”

“I think I want to cover all my bases.”

“Great, me to. Once the bleeding has stopped call us, then we can do a smear test and try to find out whats going on.”

I walk out to a really beautiful autumn day, the kind that framed your first weeks back at school or college, when everything was so fresh and exciting. Whilst I wait for my pills I have coffee and cake at a small cafe that serves the passion cake my mum makes, its the only place I’ve ever found that does so and I’ll be back there again next week.

THURSDAY 11/10/18

Bleeding (getting less)

It’s my birthday.

The bear messages me that the doctor agree’s he's showing symptoms of chlamydia, he's been given antibiotics and I should go ASAP (but no test results as of yet).

“I’ll talk to my gyno next week, its my birthday today and I’m sick of clinics and hospitals this week.”

STI tests are not covered on my insurance.

Ok, no more days need to be charted now, the bleeding is nearly stopped I’ll be back to leafy Templehof at the earliest convenient time next week.

If it is an STI after all this let me just quickly cite what would of happened had I been in the UK with the NHS:

I would of gone to the sex health centre at Homerton Hospital, the same time I went to the emergency doctors on my first visit, around 3 months ago. But I would have had the whole spectrum of tests, rather than just doing 3, because I couldn’t afford the chlamydia test and it would cost 300euro if it came back positive anyway.

A week later I would of received an automated message telling me if I had chlamydia, I would of gone to collect my antibiotics and nothing more would of come of this.

It would of cost the NHS at least a 10th of what its costing my health insurance provider in Germany, because it would of been solved, no carousel of ultrasound spy dildos. No being wheeled down to surgery.

I’m not saying it is Chlamydia, it could be hormones, it could be cancer (but lets brush that one aside), but if it is Chlamydia then this glaring discrepancy of costs and stress is almost mind boggling, all because I would of had access to free testing and treatment.

Anyway I’m done for now, though will update again next week, hopefully in less detail as I’m hoping now I have a diligent and thoughtful doctor I’ll be able to start getting better, and as I say the bleeding has nearly stopped.

My birthday was fantastic, I got to lie on the floor of Saal 1 at Funkhaus and let sound wash over me, bless the folk at Monom, I’m off to Treptower now to see friends I haven’t seen in a while then to a dance studio I’m renting, to sing my heart out in peace. It’s another beautiful day and I’m really looking forward to seeing these friends, I’ve missed them.

But just before I round out this tale of madness for now, I want to say that during the course of the week so many people have been in touch from Berlin and from home to offer support and anything else they can do, it’s really a beautiful thing, there are so many fantastic people in this world and I’m so grateful, thank you. I put all my dirty laundry on display, I don’t really know why, but I get so much from doing it and I don’t think I’ll be stopping anytime soon.

Happy Sunday all.

[henqiguai]

haikyuu!! fic rec

i’ve been consuming unreasonable amounts of hq!! fic these past few months... here’s a rec list of ~70 fics for 16 ships. 

(edit: if the links aren’t working, right-click to open the fic in a new tab. sorry;;)

❤ = favorite

❤ ❤ ❤ = god-tier 

*

Bokuto/Akaashi (otp: my head, his heart)

the better boyfriend battle by norio (M)  ❤

Summary:  It's two days after their first date anniversary, so Bokuto ruins Akaashi's life.

i put my hand out, unfolded, into the sunlight by carafin (G)  ❤

Summary:  In which Bokuto Kotarou is woefully inept at conveying his feelings, and Akaashi Keiji has a sort-of superpower. Sort of.

Karma by dgalerab (T)

Summary: Akaashi pulls a muscle and Bokuto offers to help him with yoga. Akaashi knows a bad idea when he sees it, and he really only agrees because he's suddenly acquired a deeply rooted desire to see Bokuto do yoga.For multiple reasons.

Maybe We’re Airborne, Baby by sterlinglee (T)

Summary: Realizing he's got it bad for his setter is the easy part. Getting his feelings across might be the hardest thing Bokuto's ever done, not counting his literature final or putting out the flames on that birthday cake he tried to bake for Akaashi last year, or—or a lot of things, actually.But the point still stands. Reaching out to Akaashi is a leap in the dark, and he wants it more than he's ever wanted anything (especially the smoking remains of a cake he baked before he really understood his feelings, but knew that it's what you attempt with your own two hands that matters).

snowflakes by arsenicjay (T)

Summary: Bokuto is a simple wizard with simple needs; a nice date, a little romance, and he's all good to go.Or, Akaashi and Bokuto spend a day in Hogsmeade just before Christmas.

stating the obvious by ThinkingCAPSLOCK (G)

Summary:  There's a lot of things Bokuto isn't sure about now that he's in university. His program, his new team, his future. There's only one thing he's absolutely sure of. He is not dating Akaashi Keiji. Not even a little bit.

Year-Round Love by masi (G)

Summary:  In his first year of university, Bokuto realizes that he really adores Akaashi.

Rest of the rec list under the cut!

*

Aone/Futakuchi (otp: teddy and polar bear)

Got You by garbagecannot (T)

Summary:  So Aone kind of wants to see Futakuchi scream. Just for kicks. And he feels kind of awful about it.

*

Bokuto/Kuroo (ohohotp: best friends best boyfriends)

Seven Years by xwynn (G)

Summary:  Bokuto has a secret that's seven years too late.

*

Ennoshita/Tanaka (otp: it’s too early for the world to end)

baby, our love is fireproof by earlgrey_milktea (T)

Summary:

[10:52 pm] [to: noya-san] im gonna tell him [10:54 pm] [from: noya-san] U GOT TIHS GO GET UR BOY [10:56 pm] [to: noya-san] IM GONNA GET MYSELF THE BOY [10:56 pm] [from: noya-san] GET TEH BOY [10:57 pm] [to: noya-san] GET THE BOY [11:04 pm] [from: noya-san] GET THE BOY

or, the story of how tanaka tried to light a flame in ennoshita's heart and ended up setting everything else on fire instead.

hold your breath, it gets better by harklights (T)

Summary: But if there was one thing Ennoshita could trust about the world, it was that people wanted. They wanted things to bend to their will, other wills to bend to their will, odds to work in their favor, luck on their side, a shortcut, a fun time, insurance and assurance both. A security lock to be made extra sturdy against possible thefts. A frail book with tattered binding that wanted augmentation before it frayed and spilled its pages everywhere, succumbed to age. A girl’s pocket mirror that reflected falling cherry blossoms every time she opened it to look at herself. Vanity, maybe, although it had been too cute when she first saw herself and gasped.“A flying carpet,” the man before the counter wishes.“A… flying carpet,” Ennoshita slowly repeats.

Practice Makes Perfect by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryiffindor (G)

Summary: Ennoshita Chikara has had a few confessions, but this one takes the cake.

"Enno-san, can I ask you something?" "Sure." "You like guys, right?" "Yeahhhh. . ." "I think I might like a guy. What do I do?"

Why is this my life?

one step, two step by Authoress (T)

Summary:  Tanaka's made enough of a mess trying to confess to Ennoshita, he doesn't need his attention-hungry kitten getting in the mix too.

*

Hinata/Kageyama (otp: as long as i’m here, you’re invincible)

baby, i can give you wings by Metis_Ink (T)  ❤

Summary: In which there are superpowers, cats, rainstorms, realizations, split-second jealousy, embarrassing volleyparents, killer whales, electric Kuroos, unstable emotions, bad romance movie mentions, some angst, some fluff, but mostly a lot of awkward high schoolers.

The minute Kageyama walks into the gym and sees Hinata hovering eight feet over the nets he knows he’s screwed.

*

Daichi/Kuroo (otp: city boy country boy)

If I Could Change Your Mind by tookumade (G)

Summary:

“I’m kind of excited to meet him,” Bokuto says, roughly an hour before Karasuno are scheduled to arrive. “He sounds interesting.”

Kuroo raises an eyebrow at him. “I just told you that there’s not a lot about him that stands out—how is that interesting?”

“You’ve told me a lot about how he apparently doesn’t stand out,” Bokuto replies easily. “You don’t usually talk about someone so much."

(Or, Sawamura Daichi shows up like a breath of fresh air, and Kuroo Tetsurou doesn't stand a chance.)

*

Daichi/Suga (otp: honey i’m home)

Add New Contact by booksong (G)

Summary: "Daichi was leaning contemplatively on the sill of his open window, waiting for the icy breeze he was letting into his room to wake him up to how utterly stupid he was being. He’d always hated stories, real or fictional, about people doing ridiculous and self-destructive things for love, but now here he was, palming his smartphone idly and wondering with complete seriousness if it would survive an eight meter drop with substantial but repairable damage."

(Or; All Daichi's electronics are endangered the moment he realizes he can't get that sweet, patient, ridiculously attractive IT tech off his mind.)

cool teens don’t wear skinny jeans by ebenroot (T)

Summary: 'He was supposed to ask Suga for his number or ask if he was busy next Friday night and if he was interested in seeing a movie or something. Instead, he said in a slightly cracking and not at all calm voice, “I think I lost my kids.”

or

that fic where babysitter no. 1 Daichi loses three kids in the city, gets into a bunch of shenanigans, and tries to ask Suga on a date.

forever is a long time but i don’t mind spending it with you by Interconnected_3 (G)

Summary: “What else?” Daichi blinks. “What else is there? Do you want me to tell you how you like your coffee?” He grins teasingly. “I don’t know, how do I like my coffee? By the way, you’re missing something.” “Cream and two and a half sugars- wait, I’m missing something?” “Yup,” Suga says. “You forgot to mention that we’re dating.” “Well, god, Suga, judging from how we’ve been kissing and holding hands for three years and in this bed for the past nine hours since last night, I couldn’t possibly tell.”

in which daichi finally gets the day off and teaches a romantically-frustrated suga how to be honest with himself. 

extreme fluff

i do (cherish you) by gabstar (T)

Summary: The first time Daichi suggests it, it’s a joke.

“Sugawara Koushi,” he says solemnly. He’s bent on one knee, the floor is still sticky with sweat post-practice. He offers up the lost ring, found while mopping off gym floors. “Will you marry me?”

((Five times Daichi asks Suga to marry him, plus once where he finally, finally says yes.))

in the shadow of the mountain by laubear (T)  ❤

Summary:  After graduation, Daichi and Suga climb a mountain to see whether it will make them the grown-ups they’re supposed to be.

when all the songs are through by thewindraiser (T)

Summary: Daichi is out for lunch with some of his colleagues when he spots it.

The ring.

you better go catch it by laubear (G)

Summary:  Desperate times call for desperate measures. Sometimes those desperate measures involve compromising perfectly good scientific data, but Daichi’s learned to stop being surprised when it comes to Suga.

you can only take what you can carry by skittidyne (T)

Summary: Suga pulled Noya down from the chair. Daichi finally decided enough was enough. He knew he was just doing it to draw him in, and damn it, it worked (just like it always worked against him), because there was no way he was letting Suga get into one of Kuroo and Bokuto’s competitions.

Suga had their libero thrown over one shoulder by the time Daichi reached them. “Daichi-san! Look!” Noya chirped, waving the arm that wasn’t wrapped around the vice-captain.

Suga put up his free arm, flexing, and gave Daichi a wink.

(( or, alternatively: "do you even lift, bro?" ))

*

Hanamaki/Matsukawa (otp: i wear my boyfriend’s clothes, i look incredible)

and indeed there will be time by pickledplumes (T)

Summary: Between volleyball and the looming end of their high school years, Hanamaki thinks he’s already dealing with more than enough, thank you very much.

Unfortunately, no one else gets the memo.

-Alternatively: “I am not in love with my best friend!” says Hanamaki Takahiro. Nobody buys his bullshit.

hang out fall in love by carafin (T)

Summary: In which Hanamaki's humble medical practice is threatened by an intractable asshole a witch doctor who's just moved into the shop down the street. Medical/Witchcraft AU.

As far as Hanamaki’s concerned, and as far as bad life decisions go, setting up your witch clinic right next to an actual, proper, medical clinic is practically akin to setting up an all-you-can-eat buffet right next to a gym. Or a sex toy shop next to a church. Or a vegetable patch next to a goat farm. Or – yeah, the point is, this Matsukawa guy has totally cornered the market in Terrible-Life-Decision-Making-Skills.

lost with you (take my hand) by airblends (T)

Summary:  When a missed stop or ten lead to an involuntary day trip to Kyoto for Matsukawa and Hanamaki, they find that maybe the journey really is its own reward sometimes.

poolside by tothemoon (T)  ❤

Summary: At eighteen, it'd been a matter of wading.

At twenty-five, Hanamaki tries not to fall in headfirst.

plus one by orphan_account (G)

Summary: "Did you know we're dating?"

"What? Says who?"

"Says everyone apparently."

"Oh," Hanamaki frowns for a few seconds before shrugging and turning his attention back to the chocolate fountain. "Nice."

that’s what you get (for waking up in vegas) by skittidyne (T)

Summary: “There was an Elvis?” Hajime asks.

“He was the officiator. It’s the cliché, right?”

“…Officiator of what?” Tooru asks with a look down at Takahiro’s hand.

“You can borrow my phone to pull pictures from for our wedding album.” Issei reaches over and grasps the hand with the ring on it. Everyone is staring at their clasped hands like a three-headed lobster just crawled onto the table. “You were both the best men and I was very, deeply touched by how affected you both were at the ceremony,” he says in a perfect deadpan.

(( or: iwaizumi does not want to be the responsible one, and thus they suffer the consequences, or, perhaps, 'suffer' is a bit too strong of a word ))

Wet Your Whistle by darkmagicalgirl (E)

Summary:  Hanamaki gets a job as a bartender. Matsukawa likes his uniform. (Alternatively: Matsukawa tries to ignore his huge crush on his friend-with-benefits. He fails.)

*

Iwaizumi/Konoha (otp: ace and jack of all trades; alternatively: otp: i know fukurodani and seijou probably have never breathed the same air just let me have this)

Ace and Jack by masi (M)

Summary:  Iwaizumi and Konoha are neighbors and teammates. Maybe friends too. They get along most of the time.

*

Kenma/Kuroo (otp: backbone, brain, heart) 

Cat’s Out of the Bag by shions_heart (T)

Summary: When Kuroo Tetsurou drunkenly proposes to his best friend Kozume Kenma during the midnight release of Kenma's first ever video game, Kenma doesn't think anything could be more embarrassing.

But when the proposal ends up going viral, Kenma's forced to confront feelings about his friend that he's kept locked away for a long time.

Collecting Days by pickledplumes (G)

Summary: 

The silence of the crowd as they recite their vows and say I do is deafening, their cheers as he and Tetsurou kiss even more so, and Kenma thinks some distant version of him would have shied away and ran; but right now he’s in the arms of the only man he’s ever loved, locked in the most passionate kiss he’s ever known, and he feels like he can take on the world.

curiosity kills by newamsterdam (T)  ❤

Summary: Kenma rescues a cat.

Later on, the cat saves him in return.

i built you a home in my heart by newamsterdam (M)

Summary:

Yaku doesn’t let Kuroo derail him. “You don’t even have that excuse. And I’ve known you and Kenma too long to think that these feelings didn’t exist, before today.”

There’s a truth in what he says. Kuroo’s chest feels too small to contain his heart, beating giddily against his ribs. Even if he falls into his usual back and forth with Yaku, everything is different today.

“It’s not like that,” he says softly. He cups both hands around his mug, looking into the dregs of his coffee. “It’s like… I couldn’t even let myself think of it before, you know? I couldn’t let my mind even go there, because it would’ve been unbearable, to know and not be able to do anything about it.”

Yaku shakes his head, kicking at Kuroo’s legs under the table. “Oh my god,” he says. “You’re going to be hopeless now, aren’t you?”

Five years after high school— what changes, what doesn't, and what really matters, in the end.

love’s not the way to treat a friend by girltalk (T)

Summary: There’s really nothing quite as revelatory as the silent minutes spent in bed during the aftermath of a wet dream involving you and your high-school best friend.

(i must profess) by sadaf (T)

Summary:  “No!” Kenma says, voice high and through clenched teeth as Kuroo offers it to him. “Put- put that away! Put that away!”

mr. steal yo man by saintjoy (T)

Summary:  Lev's got it bad for Kenma. Unfortunately, he's already got one hell of a boyfriend.

Show a Little Faith by minijhi (G)

Summary: 

“Why are you sending me a singing Valentine telegram?" Kenma asks, mouth flattened. "It’s six months until Valentine’s Day.”

“I bought a dwarf over the summer to use as cupid.” Kuroo says. “I figured he could use some practice.”

-

Presenting Kenma as the Boy-Who-Lived, whose living becomes a lot more interesting when Ravenclaw Prince Kuroo Tetsurou starts sending him singing telegrams about defeating the Dark Lord.

Static by icespyders (G)  ❤❤❤

Summary: 

stat•ic /ˈstadik/ adj. : 1. lacking in movement, action, or change; 2. concerned with bodies at rest or forces in equilibrium n. : crackling or hissing noises on a telephone, radio, or other telecommunications system.

He hadn't taken it well when Kuroo went away.

The Wedding Hall Shuffle by icespyders (T)  ❤

Summary: Box steps for a waltz are easy, even if you've never done them before, even if you learned at a strangers' wedding from another stranger, even if you're not quite sure what you're doing. But love? Love is something else, something without regimented one-two-three-four patterns, without rules.

Maybe it's silly, but Kenma thinks he might be figuring it out.

*

Kyoutani/Yahaba (otp: mad dog and puppy)

all you have is your fire by knightswatch (T)

Summary: 

Shigeru is quickly hurtling toward the point where he’s going to have to change the relationship that he’s built with Kyoutani in ways that he can’t take back, and it’s one of the reasons that he isn’t particularly looking forward to his birthday.

No matter how he feels, Shigeru knows he can’t afford to be in love. Or at least, he can’t afford to act on it.

Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl (T)  ❤❤❤

Summary:  It takes Yahaba thirteen years to realize he's different from the other kids, one to figure out how to hide it, and two more to learn to be happy just the way he is. Yahaba's journey ft. an extremely annoyed Kyoutani, best friend in the world Watari, and loads and loads of good senpai Oikawa.

Mixed Signals by snoqualmie (T)

Summary:  Feelings are definitely a thing he’s having. Kyoutani is really sweet. He’s family oriented and he prefers novels with female leads and he’s in all honors classes. He kind of has a big head, totally has a big smile, definitely has a big heart. His eyes are nice, he’s got that dimple. Yahaba groans and rubs his fists into his eyes.

Room to Grow by kiyala (G)  ❤❤❤

Summary:  Kyoutani and Yahaba have enough on their minds in third year, as ace and captain of the volleyball team, butting heads both on and off the court while trying to improve their game so the team has a shot of winning this year. When they find a puppy abandoned in a park, their lives only get even more complicated.

the sunset hours by commovente (T)

Summary: 

set in an alternate sendai city where everything is almost exactly the same, except every day during sunset, each person's heart is visible to everyone else, in whatever form that may be, for better or for worse.

in which kyoutani has an actual puppy dog heart, yahaba is the most unconventional disney character alive, and oikawa is still the best senpai.

or: the story of yahaba's adventures in the big city.

This World is Just Illusion by shions_heart (T)

Summary: Yahaba Shigeru was a scientist set to work on and administer the SS-415 Serum to the test subject Kyoutani Kentarou. But when the experiment fails, he's forced to relocate with an unstable Kyoutani and make a new home for them.

(Or the story of how the Mad Dog gang was formed.)

*

Lev/Yaku (otp: angry small and dirty large)

Touch by Mysecretfanmoments (T)

Summary:  After a twisted ankle and an uncomfortable realization, Yaku starts to see a different side of Lev—one he doesn't want to kick at all. (Or, well... not often.)

Yaku and the Beanstalk by Mysecretfanmoments (T)

Summary: 

Yaku Morisuke is many things: a libero, a caretaker, a good student. He's also about to find Lev Haiba stuck in a vending machine.

(In which Yaku accidentally recruits Lev to the volleyball team and can't get rid of him after.)

*

Oikawa/Suga (otp: 100 days with mr. refreshing)

all the small things by Authoress (T)

Summary:

Sugawara Koushi.

Oikawa’s brain supplies the name of the person standing at the other end of the aisle before Oikawa can even register him, attuned to spitting out facts about other volleyball players on a second’s notice, even after all these years. Karasuno High vice-captain. 174 cm…no, more like 176 now. Skilled at raising morale and bringing an element of surprise to their strategy. Troublesome. Refreshing. Setter.

The enemy.

*

Oikawa/Ushijima (otp: don’t you ever forget my worthless pride & prejudice)

A Fish out of Water by masi (M)

Summary:  Ushijima is having a hard time adjusting to life in Tokyo.

This Insignificant Pride and Prejudice by Mysecretfanmoments, Pouler (T)  ❤❤❤

Summary:  Oikawa Tooru graduated high school with the burning desire to succeed in his college career. He'd hoped that might include taking down his arch-nemesis along the way, but when he finds that his college team hosts an offensively familiar face, he can't help but think that the universe might be conspiring against him. After all, what could be worse than playing on the same team as Ushijima?

it’s kind of like a promise by songtofly (T)  ❤

Summary:  Devotion, Ushijima Wakatoshi learns, is a two-way street.

like someone in love by masi (T)

Summary:  Oikawa tries to resolve an unexpected Ushiwaka-related problem carefully and calmly.

#notalovestory by iiejn, readerofsaph (T)

Summary: 

Oikawa Tooru, Japan's representative pretty boy actor, lands the best movie role of his career yet. Shame about who else is acting in it, too.

Dearest Oikawa,

I am sorry that you hit me at the party last week. I am confident that your reputation will survive the backlash. Hopefully we will be able to speak on better terms the next time we meet.

Yours, Ushijima Wakatoshi

On A Willful Afternoon When I Thought Love Could Choose by Zee (E)

Summary: Ushijima gets stuck in a repeating time loop on the day his university's team must play Oikawa's. Shenanigans ensue.

Planting Season by masi (T)

Summary:  After graduation, Ushijima runs into Oikawa again.

Searching Happiness by sunspearing (T)  ❤

Summary:  The five times Oikawa tries to call it quits, and the one time Ushijima does.

*

Semi/Shirabu (otp: loving is easy, teasing is easier)

don’t let this magic die  by oilpaints (T)

Summary: 

Shirabu glances out the window, listening to the soft pitter-patter of the rain, and the even sounds of Semi’s breathing. Only now, as he glances around the cramped, dimly-lit room and spots Semi’s bag, already open and spilling out clothes onto the floorboards, does he realizes just what he’s gotten himself into.

It’s just four days, he reminds himself. Four days of sharing a room with Semi, of all people, but still — he’s been through worse, right? Right.

SPOILER:

Actually, whether he’s right or wrong is up for debate, because everything goes about just as well as anyone would expect. (Which is to say: surprisingly, nobody dies, Shirabu learns more about Semi Eita than he ever would have bargained for, and that, maybe, he’s not so bad.

Maybe.)

face to the sun by oilpaints (G)

Summary: 

Shirabu Kenjirou, as told by friends both old and new.

Kawatabi clicks his tongue. “I still don’t get why you were born in spring,” he says. “You’re so bitter and cold. More of a winter child, if you ask me.”

Shirabu just shrugs lightly, lips tugged upwards in a faint smile. “But I didn’t ask you,” he says. “And besides, spring is all about new beginnings, isn’t it?”

Impulse by Metis_Ink (T)  ❤❤❤

Summary: 

"Semi’s not sure how subtle the team is trying to be, but there must be some ungodly conspiracy pointed against him. It’s working in the sense that Semi is half aware that maybe this rivalry with Shirabu is a lot more troublesome than it seems, but really, that’s all he's getting."

Or

Second year Semi Eita faces the downward spiral that is his life following the arrival of some first year setter who's way too cocky for his own good.

Scarf Trick by togekissies (G)

Summary: The last thing Shirabu wants to do is run into a naggy upperclassman after a long day.

seven day’s luck by togekissies (T)

Summary: 

(semishira week fic collection)

One: Semi and Shirabu go on a date. Two: Shirabu can't stand executive meddling more than he can't stand Semi. Three: Shirabu and Semi are just kids at reform school, discussing treason on the roof in the way only prideful teenagers can. Four: Semi is a nostalgic loser. Shirabu pushes him in a creek. Five: Semi steals some intel. Shirabu doesn't like patching him up.

*

Tsukishima/Yamaguchi (otp: when did you ever get so cool?)

blue summer sky by deanpendragon (T)  ❤❤❤

Summary:  In which Tadashi manages his grandfather's pet store and Tsukishima works at the music shop next door. Lots of exclamation points, dialogue, obvious crushes, internal (and overexcited) monologuing, animal trivia and terrible puns ensue.

by any other name by memorde (T)

Summary: 

A Concise Guide to Dealing with People Asking if your Best Friend and/or Crush is Single:

Panic

Lie

Run

campfire in your chest by deanpendragon (M)  ❤❤❤

Summary:  Kei realizes in their second year of high school that he's probably been in love with Yamaguchi since they were ten. However hopeless he might be in handling that situation, Kei prays he's at least not as hopeless as Hinata and Kageyama. But he just might be.

let’s keep this professional by laubear  ❤

Summary: 

When the first sincere gesture of Tsukishima Kei’s life costs him his glamorous job as a sports agent, only a wide-eyed, freckled accountant volunteers to jump ship with him. But if the two of them can save the careers of volleyball’s legendary Oddball Duo, things might just work out after all.

Or, the story of how Tsukishima Kei got fired, got married, adopted a kid, and fell in love. In that order.

levels of investment by skittidyne (T)

Summary: 

Yamaguchi was far less nervous in practice than any games, and he’d gotten far more skilled at serving in a few short months, so Tsukishima was utterly unprepared for the feeling of a volleyball slamming into the back of his head.

There was a beat of silence.

The ball had enough of an angle to bounce off his head and over to the other side of the net, landing neatly in front of a stunned Sugawara.

(( or: Ennoshita plots for the future, Suga wants to mess around and is intent on dragging everyone down to his level, Noya tries to become a spiker, Kiyoko is a good senpai, Yamaguchi cries, and Tsukishima wonders if he's been dropped off in the Twilight Zone without his notice ))

These Words You Don’t Hear by ohhello (E)

Summary:  Tadashi is convinced entering into his third year at Karasuno means that he is one year closer to losing what he holds most dear: his team, his friends, and most importantly his daily moments with Kei. While Tadashi wrestles with his fear of lasts, Kei struggles with how to offer him firsts.

[ifunnymemess]

7-Day Weight-Loss Meal Plan (February 10-February 16)

A free 7-day, flexible weight loss meal plan including breakfast, lunch and dinner and a shopping list. All recipes include calories and updated WW Smart Points.

7-Day Weight-Loss Meal Plan

Valentine’s Day is this week, and while I have some recipes included in this weeks plan, if you need to plan for a party at school, don’t forget to check out my recipes for Red Velvet Cupcakes, Chocolate Covered Strawberries, and all my other Valentine’s Day Recipes. I hope every enjoys their day! WW has changed their plan to now include a Blue, Purple and Green Plan. All the recipes on my blog are updated for the Blue plan. I’ve been updating all my recipes (over 2000) and have completed 2019 with the other two colors, and I am working my way down so please be patient.

Why Should Everyone Meal Plan?

Meal planning is a great way to organize your meals for the week ahead. You also save time and money in the supermarket! And of course, planning ahead helps you stick to your goals!

About The Meal Plan

If you’re new to my meal plans, I’ve been sharing these free, 7-day flexible healthy meal plans (you can see my previous meal plans here) that are meant as a guide, with plenty of wiggle room for you to add more food, coffee, beverages, fruits, snacks, dessert, wine, etc or swap recipes out for meals you prefer, you can search for recipes by course in the index. You should aim for around 1500 calories* per day. There’s also a precise, organized grocery list that will make grocery shopping so much easier and much less stressful. Save you money and time. You’ll dine out less often, waste less food and you’ll have everything you need on hand to help keep you on track. Lastly, if you’re on Facebook join my Skinnytaste Facebook Community where everyone’s sharing photos of recipes they are making, you can join here. I’m loving all the ideas everyone’s sharing! If you wish to get on the email list, you can subscribe here so you never miss a meal plan! Also, if you don’t have the Skinnytaste Meal Planner, now would be a great time to get one to get organized for 2020! There was a print error last year, but it’s perfect now! You can order it here! THE DETAILS: Breakfast and lunch Monday-Friday, are designed to serve 1 while dinners and all meals on Saturday and Sunday are designed to serve a family of 4. Some recipes make enough leftovers for two nights or lunch the next day. While we truly believe there is no one size fits all meal plan, we did our best to come up with something that appeals to a wide range of individuals. Everything is Weight Watchers friendly, I included the updated WW Blue SP for your convenience, feel free to swap out any recipes you wish or just use this for inspiration! The grocery list is comprehensive and includes everything you need to make all meals on the plan. I’ve even included brand recommendations of products I love and use often. Cross check your cabinets because many condiments you’ll notice I use often, so you may already have a lot of them. And last, but certainly not least, this meal plan is flexible and realistic. There’s plenty of wiggle room for cocktails, healthy snacks, dessert and dinner out. And if necessary, you can move some things around to make it work with your schedule. Please let me know if you’re using these plans, this will help me decide if I should continue sharing them! MONDAY (2/10) B: Greek Yogurt with Berries, Nuts and Honey (5B 8G 5P) L: Chicken Waldorf Salad (3B 4G 3P) D: Vegetarian Enchiladas with Butternut Squash and Black Beans (3B 3G 3P) with 1 tablespoon light sour cream (1B 1G 1P) and Chipotle’s Cilantro Lime Rice* (6B 6G 6P) Totals: Freestyle™ SP 18B 22G 18P, Calories 868** TUESDAY (2/11) B: Greek Yogurt with Berries, Nuts and Honey (5B 8G 5P) L: Chicken Waldorf Salad (3B 4G 3P) in 2 slices thin whole grain bread (4B 4G 4P) D: LEFTOVER Vegetarian Enchiladas with Butternut Squash and Black Beans (3B 3G 3P) with 1 tablespoon light sour cream (1B 1G 1P) and Chipotle’s Cilantro Lime Rice (6B 6G 6P) Totals: Freestyle™ SP 22B 26G 22P, Calories 1,001** WEDNESDAY (2/12) B:  Avocado Toast with Sunny Side Egg (4B 6G 4P) L: Chicken Waldorf Salad (3B 4G 3P) D: Lasagna Soup (7B 9G 5P) with a green salad # (1B 1G 1P) Totals: Freestyle™ SP 15B 20G 13P, Calories 801** THURSDAY (2/13) B: Avocado Toast with Sunny Side Egg (4B 6G 4P) L: LEFTOVER Lasagna Soup (7B 9G 5P) D: Waffle Crusted Chicken with Spicy Maple Sauce (3B 5G 3P) and String Beans with Garlic and Oil (2B 2G 2P) Totals: Freestyle™ SP 16B 22G 14P, Calories 871** FRIDAY (2/14) B: Heart-Shaped Chocolate Chip Banana Pancakes (6B 6G 6P) with ½ cup raspberries (0B 0G 0P) L: LEFTOVER Lasagna Soup (7B 9G 5P) D: Perfect Filet Mignon for Two (5B 5G 5P) (Recipe x 2) Skinny Garlic Mashed Potatoes (5B 5G 1P) and Easy Garlic Broccolini (1B 1G 1P) Totals: Freestyle™ SP 24B 26G 18P, Calories 958** SATURDAY (2/15) B: Eggs and Tomato Breakfast Melts (3B 3G 3P) with 1 cup grapes (0B 0G 0P) L: Chickpea Salad (1B 5G 1P) D: DINNER OUT! Totals: Freestyle™ SP 4B 8G 4P, Calories 446** SUNDAY (2/16) B: Cinnamon Apple Yogurt Bowls (6B 9G 6P) (recipe x 2) L: The Skinny Tuna Melt (4B 5G 4P ) (recipe x 2) with an apple (0B 0G 0P) D: Cheesy Turkey Meatball Skillet (8B 9G 8P) with Roasted Asparagus (0B 0G 0P) and 2 ounces multigrain baguette (3B 3G 3P) Totals: Freestyle™ SP 21B 26G 21P, Calories 1,120** *Double rice for leftovers on Tuesday **This is just a guide, women should aim for around 1500 calories per day. Here’s a helpful calculator to estimate your calorie needs. I’ve left plenty of wiggle room for you to add more food such as coffee, beverages, fruits, snacks, dessert, wine, etc. # Green salad includes 6 cups romaine, 2 scallions and ½ cup each tomatoes and carrots plus ¼ cup light vinaigrette. (more…) The post 7-Day Weight-Loss Meal Plan (February 10-February 16) appeared first on Skinnytaste. Source link Read the full article

[santanalo]

Unfiltered and Relaxed| Finntana

Who: Santana and Finn

When: Friday, Sept. 15th, 2017

Where: Finn’s apartment; Lima,Ohio

What: Santana goes to stay with Finn for the weekend. The end kinda fizzles into sexuals which is literally how any Finntana hangout goes. 

Santana knew spending an entire weekend with Finn wasn’t one of her best ideas, but she wanted to prove that she could be his friend. That she could be there when he was going through a breakup or eventually finding someone new. Even if it would hurt her in the process. She was thinking of just that as she walked through the airport in search of Finn. She’d suggested that she simply take a cab and wait for him to be done with work, but in typical Finn fashion, that didn’t fly with him.

He was pretty easy to spot in the airport since there were barely any other people there. A smile quickly appeared on her face as she made her way over to him, arms immediately reaching out to pull him into a hug. “Hey, you,” she greeted. “How are you?”

Though he wasn’t happy about breaking up with Sugar, but he could admit that it was probably for the best. He didn’t get her as well as he probably should to be her boyfriend, and he really thought she belonged in New York. Finn had grown a lot in the military. He knew what it felt like to be lost, and he thought maybe Sugar was feeling a little lost. So he was  sure this was better in the long run. Santana offering to come hang out was great if not completely unnecessary except that he wanted to hang with Santana. It was still kind of confusing with her whole letter thing, but this weekend wasn’t about that. It was just about spending time with his friend, and he didn’t want to fight with her or upset her. He just wanted to kind of get to know her again like on the trip.

He’d gotten to the airport kind of early, happy that he’d been able to finish work early that day. He watched as people filed out and down the concourse. He smiled when he watched her walking over to him and hugged her back eagerly. “Hi, Santan. How was your flight?” he asked her, looking around for her bag.

“Wasn’t too bad,” she told him. “Though I did some homework so it was pretty boring.” Since she was there for the weekend, she tried her best to get as much done beforehand as possible. There would be no homework done on the weekend. It was her one little rule. “How was work?” Santana turned a bit so they could swing by the baggage claim on the way to the exit. “What have you even been working on lately?”

Finn followed behind her, ready to take her bag when it came out. “This week...I’m finishing renovating an old camper. It was like 70’s old. So I completely gutted it and made it really cook inside. I even made them a custom clock. Quinn said that should be my think. Like making a custom piece of furniture or a clock or something. I think it’s a good idea.”

Santana grabbed her bag as soon as she saw it, stepping away from him for just a minute. “I think that’s a good plan. It will give it the signature Finn Hudson touch.” From everything she heard going on with his job, she was really proud of him. It seemed like business was amazing. Plus whenever he or Quinn posted little sneak pictures, it always looked fantastic. “Like leaving your mark and stuff.”

Finn held his hand out so that he could take her bag. It probably wasn't too heavy, but he wanted to offer anyway. “Yeah, that's what Quinn said. I have been practicing on how to make unique stuff, like headboards and stuff.”

She rolled her eyes and reluctantly released her bag to him. There was no point in trying to get him to let her continue carrying it herself. “That sounds cool, but also really difficult. I don’t know how you do it. Anything I make would probably come out like shit.” She laughed at herself, but it turned into a simple smile when she looked over at him. Hanging out with him just made her happier.

Taking her bag in his hand, Finn led the way out of the airport. “It's not that hard. If I can learn to do it, you can. You're way smarter than I am.” He offered her a smile and then opened the door of his SUV for her. “I can teach you some stuff.”

“I may be kind of book smart, but you’re better with your hands.” She bit her lip when she realized that what she said could be taken sexually, but she didn’t bother to explain. Both meanings were true. Santana smiled up at him when he opened the door and then quickly got in. “Oh, yeah? You better be a really good teacher.”

Finn closed the door for her then hustled around to the other side to hop in. “I think I'm a good teacher. Quinn seems to be learning a lot,” he replied before starting the engine. “Maybe I'll take you by my shop tomorrow. You can sand some wood,” he teased, pulling onto the highway.

Santana chuckled at his response. “I can probably handle that. Though I'm gonna need a cute outfit if I'm gonna really commit to the part.” She sat back against the seat, feeling a little weird to be back in Lima already. After she’d graduated high school, she rarely returned for anything other than holidays. “Did you have plans for the weekend or are you all mine?” As she waited for his answer, she reached up to take her hair out of the bun she’d been sporting on the plane.

“You probably don’t want a ‘cute outfit’ to sand stuff in. It’s just gonna get all dusty and dirty with sawdust and stuff,” Finn told her, taking his eyes off the road a moment to glance at her before looking back again. “I’m free. I don’t usually work on the weekends anymore. Thanks to Quinn that is because she finished my schedule.”

“Well then what am I supposed to wear? Can’t exactly put me to work naked.” Mostly for the fact that she’d get disgusted from being in a situation like that. If she was getting dirty, she probably wouldn’t be getting naked. “Oh, right. So does she handle it all now? Like, people confirm shit with her and then you go ahead and actually do the work?” She was glad Quinn seemed to find a new place to fit after leaving California.

Shrugging, Finn eased his way into the left lane and sped up. “I don’t know. Just something you don’t care about…” He didn’t think she’d have clothes like that, but he had a shirt she could borrow if she wanted or maybe Quinn would have something. “We got her a business cell phone, and people call it and she like arranges what jobs I’m gonna do when and how long stuff will take. Plus she orders materials for me. She helps on projects sometimes too.”

Santana hadn’t exactly packed with the plan to be working, so she’d have to figure that one out when the time came. “That’s pretty cool. It’s probably fun working together.” She’d of course heard a few things about her helping him with his career, but she’d never actually gotten the details. It was never really brought up. “So I’m guessing she’s staying in Lima for a while?” That was a slight shock to Santana since she figured Quinn would be moving when she could.

“Oh I don’t know. I don’t think she’s staying for forever or anything. She’s in love wi-I mean she’ll probably move back to the west coast or something.” He would miss her when she left, but he hoped she did move to be with Rachel or something. He didn’t know if she really was even thinking like that. He could be totally off on that. “Lima isn’t really a place people stay anymore.”

An eyebrow immediately went up when he mentioned Quinn loving someone. Was it someone new or was something going on in their friend group? She knew Finn seemed like he didn’t want to share Quinn’s personal information, so she made a mental note to ask Quinn about it whenever she got the right chance. “You stay here,” she pointed out when he said people don’t stay in Lima. “Why is that?”

Finn chuckled and gave her a nod. “Yeah, because I like it here. I traveled like lots of places and I’ve been to a bunch of countries, but nowhere is Lima. It’s my home. Most people can’t wait to leave, and like, I get it, but everything I love is in Lima...well except you guys.”

Santana never understood why Finn loved their hometown so much. Yeah, there was a lot of nostalgia, and his family lived here, but there wasn’t much to offer. “I guess I’m not surprised. You fit in here, and I mean that in the best way possible.” She had always planned to leave Lima once she graduated high school. Though for most of her high school years, she had wished Finn would be leaving with her. “It can’t be all that great since I don’t live here anymore,” she teased.

Chuckling again, Finn glanced at her, stricken momentarily by how pretty she was. It was weird. It felt like she just got prettier and prettier as she got older. “I like fitting here, but you’re right. You not being here does totally suck. I got used to hanging out with you on the trip. Now I miss you so much.”

Her lips curled up into a smile when he talked about missing her. It was nice to hear that she still meant something to him in one way or the other. “The trip was perfect since we were all in the same place again. I liked hanging out with you whenever I wanted.” She looked over at him. “I miss you too, but I’m here for the weekend so you get to see my shining face again.”

“It almost makes it worth it that I dated Sugar and then broke up with her if it got you here to see me,” he joked lightly, hoping it wasn’t still a sore subject. “Almost.” He pulled back into the right lane. “I do wish we could hang out as much as me and Quinn do.”

Santana’s hand flew to her mouth as she forced herself not to laugh. Once she was relaxed again, she put her hands back on her lap. “You know, you could’ve just asked me if to come visit if you wanted to see me that bad.” She reached out to gently place her hand on his arm for a few seconds. “Me too. But maybe since you’re starting to free up time, we can visit each other more often. Plus you can always text or FaceTime whenever you want.”

Finn nodded in agreement. “We could maybe visit each other more except you’re busy with school. I don’t wanna distract you or anything,” he reasoned. He was already going through his mind to see if there was a time he’d be able to do it before her birthday. “I am still coming in November. So there’s that.”

“It’s not a big deal. You can come for long weekends or something. We’ll just plan them around any tests or big papers.” Santana was happy to hear him confirm November again. Even though she knew he would stick to his word, she wasn’t sure if work would stop him from going through with it. “Are you going to wrap yourself in a bow to be my birthday present?”

“That’ll work.” Finn would love to get to visit Santana on long weekends. “If that’s what you want me to do. I just lay on your bed wearing a bow.” He was teasing, but he’d definitely do it if she told him that was what she wanted.

Santana laughed at the thought of Finn just chilling on her bed, waiting. “Are we talking just the bow or an actual outfit?” She was pretty curious about his answer to this question, though she knew she’d be fine either way. Him just being there would be enough for her. “‘Cause I really thought you could rock a bow like nobody’s business.”

Finn thought about what kind of outfit she could possibly mean, but then he realized she probably meant that she wanted him in just a bow. “I’ll wear whatever you want. It’s your birthday. You can have me anyway you want.”

She turned her head to the window, scrunching up her nose. Maybe she should stop talking about him naked, or having him anyway she wanted. “I’ll weigh my options and get back to you,” she joked. It seemed like the safest way to steer them out of that territory. It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, she just didn’t want to get her hopes up to the possibility of being with him, in that way, again.

“Sounds good to me,” he replied before focusing on their drive. It took a bit to get back to his place, but the drive was easy. “How’s your classes?” he asked, changing the subject. “I feel like that’s a lame question, but like are the classes fun or whatever? Do you know a lot of people?”

“They’re not fun,” she replied. “But they’re not horrible. I’m pretty sick of class at this point though.” Santana was already counting down the days that she’d be completely done. “The people in my classes now are in all of the same ones with me. So, we’re like a group and we’ll have all of the same classes the rest of the few years.”

Finn nodded, thought he didn’t really know much about what she was saying. “How long is law school again? Do you know what kind of law you’re going to be lawyering?” He’d always thought she’d be a great lawyer, but he also got being over school. He felt like he’d been over school since middle school.

Santana smiled at his curiosity. It was nice that he actually cared about what she was doing. “Only three so I guess it’s not horrible. Though I’m still on year one.” She turned a little bit in her seat, moving her head to look at him more. “I’m kinda interested in immigration law, but I might just go general until I really think I want a specific focus.”

“That’s not too bad,” Finn agreed, giving her a little smile then turning back to the road. “Immigration law? That’s probably good because of all of the stuff happening and all of the fake news and media bias...bias is the right word, right? All that stuff happening in the country...it’ll be good to have a smart lawyer to help get it all figured out.”

“Yeah, bias is the right word,” she confirmed. “It'll be cool to eventually be able to legally fight against all of Trump’s bullshit.” Though that wasn't necessarily why she wanted to be a lawyer, it was definitely a bonus now. “I just feel like there are so many people in the world who get shit when they try to move here. It must suck.”

Finn nodded. “I mean, I don’t like the guy, but I think there’s some bullshit on both sides, you know? No side is 100% right. That’s why we need people like you. You’re a good person. I know you’re going to do the most good you can,” he said confidently. “You’d make a great lawyer.”

Santana rolled her eyes as Finn jumped to defend both sides. It was just the kind of guy he was. “Thanks… I hope so.” If not, she would have wasted seven years on something that wasn’t going to get her anywhere. Though she could probably find some other job that would accept her degree. “Anyway, let’s talk about something else. I don’t have to think about school on the weekends!”

He understood that. He used to feel like that in high school. “Okay, what do you wanna talk about?” He thought they could talk about anything. He just didn’t know what he should pick to say. “What else do you do besides school?”

“Normal Santana things,” she replied with a laugh. “I do a lot of online shopping, while watching Netflix.” Figuring she could be a little more interesting, she tossed a few more things in. “I obviously go out on the weekends. Get my drink on.”

“I do all of the same things except the online shopping part,” he said with a laugh. “So I hope you’re good with that. Like I was planning on drinking and watching Netflix with you. We can go out with Quinn tomorrow. I’m just kind of tired and wanna just grab some food and go home. Is that ok?”

Santana shook her head, lips curled into a grin. “Drinking and watching Netflix is honestly my favorite activity. I’m not all that energized to go out tonight either.” It would be nice to have a chill night in with him. Especially since they didn’t really have a lot of time to begin with. “Though you can’t choose something really weird to watch,” she teased.

“Hey! I don't pick weird things to watch. I pick awesome stuff to watch. You're the one that likes boring, girly movies,” he teased, reaching over to poke her in the side with his index finger.

She squirmed away from him as much as she could. “Hey!” Her hand instinctively went out to grab his finger so that he couldn’t do it again, causing them to simply hold hands for a few seconds. “I don’t only like girly movies. You like weird, guy movies.”

“What weird guy movies do I like?” he asked, trying to think of anything he watched that was kind of weird. The only weird thing that he happened to like was silly horror films that weren’t scary at all. He didn’t think he liked other weird stuff.

“You like those stupid movies, like, Saw or something. If you’re going to watch something scary, it should at least scare the shit out of you.” When she watched a horror movie, she liked that they made her jump and not want to sleep alone that night. That was part of the fun. “We can agree on comedy though… so let’s watch one of those tonight.”

“I only liked like the first two Saw movies,” he defended, making a face. “We should watch like Knocked Up or Hottub Time Machine or something like that!” He had all of those movies and their sequels on DVD.

Santana thought about his suggestions for a second. “Let’s go with Knocked Up. It’s basically a classic… Never gets old.” Hot Tub Time Machine, she could usually do without. “We should watch White Chicks too. I haven’t seen it in forever, but I heard someone talking about it recently.”

“That sounds like a pretty awesome night.” Finn didn't love White Chicks, but he'd watch it if Santana wanted to. “Did you want any special kind of takeout for dinner? Pizza? Chinese? Meatball Obsession? We could get hoagies too. ”

She was about to agree with his comment, but then the topic changed to what they’d eat. “I'm good with anything. I hadn't realized how hungry I actually was until now.” Santana wanted to give him an actual answer, though, so she thought about it for a second. “Chinese is my weakness, you know that.”

“Then we’ll stop for Chinese and beer…” The night was shaping up well already because he was definitely feeling Chinese and ice cold beer. He also had a lot of pot at his place too, but he wasn't sure if she'd want to smoke with him or not. “Do we need anything else before we go home? I mean before we get back to my place?”

“Home? Am I moving in,” she teased. Of course she knew it was just a slip up. She’d do the same thing. “I don't think so! Food, beer, Finn. Seems like my kind of night.” Santana would probably even do with the first two if she had to. “Unless you want something extra.”

“I wish!” he joked back, briefly thinking about how he had actually really liked having Sugar at his place because he liked having someone there when he got home. “Something extra like what?” He pulled off the highway onto the local road to head home.

Santana laughed at his response. “You’d probably end up getting sick of me.” She sat up a little straighter in her seat, already itching to get out of the car. “I don't know. Ice cream, some random snack? I meant extra in general. Didn't really have anything in particular in mind.”

Finn shook his head. “No way, I’ve never ever been sick of you.” He fell quiet a moment as he realized how true that statement was. He really never had ever gotten sick of Santana. “I think you’d be an awesome roommate.” He ran his tongue over his lips. “Yeah, let’s get some snacks and ice cream. I haven’t had ice cream in a long time.”

“Maybe one day when you decide to get your ass out of Lima,” she joked. Though she knew that wouldn't happen. He wasn't a city guy, and she wasn't a Lima girl. His words rang through her head, how he's never gotten sick of her. That was pretty comforting. “How long is a long time? What kind of life are you living? Maybe I do need to move in.”

“Nah, Lima’s my home,” he said with a contented smile. He thought about how they'd ended up here, and he wanted to go back in time and shake high school!Finn because he thought he'd be with Santana for forever. Clearly it would've never worked. “I don't know. Like a few weeks?” He was more conscious of his body now, but he still ate mostly whatever he wanted. “You should move in.”

Santana let out a sigh. There was no point in attempting to convince him that Lima wasn’t all he thought it was. And there was no point in pretending that she was going to actually compromise and move in. If she thought there would be a future for the two of them, it’d be a different story, but she knew how he felt. “Finn,” she started, though she was silent for a bit. “If you had joked about that a few months ago, I probably would’ve humored you and said I would move in… But so much has happened since. I’m not exactly looking to move in to be your ice cream eating, fuck when you feel like it, buddy.”

Finn’s humor died off and his brow furrowed. “I...didn’t mean it like that. I wasn’t even thinking about that. I just really meant that we could hang out and be buddies… Sorry if I made it sound like that.” Now he felt bad for making it sound like he expected her to move in and be his fuck buddy or something. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I was just trying to prove my point of why it wouldn’t work out.” She let a few moments of silence pass as she tried to figure out how to backtrack and fix this. It wasn’t that she meant it in an accusatory way, or really in a bad way at all. She just wanted him to know how silly it all sounded. “Sorry,” she finally said after a while. “I just went too far with my explanation. I know you didn’t mean anything bad by it. I promise it’s all good.”

Finn thought about how in her letter she said she loved him and how she'd prove it. But then she'd said she wasn't in love with him. It was just a letter. So if she was in love with him, she'd want to move in and stuff, right? But she wasn't saying that at all. So maybe she wasn't like she said. It was all just a little confusing. He turned back to the road and stayed quiet for a moment, nodding in acknowledgement of what she said all the while even more confused. “Ok…”

Santana didn't know where to go from here. On one hand, she wanted to explain her reasoning for being so against it all in the first place. But on the other, she felt the need to keep quiet and protect herself from any future rejection. “I would if I could,” she said to sum it all up. “Your work keeps you in Lima, but school is keeping me in the city. Can't exactly transfer law schools in the middle of a year.” And now that she thought about it, she didn't even know what schooling options she had in Ohio. “Plus it’d be a little harder for me. Still getting over, you know, all of….that.”

“Yeah…” was all he said as he pulled up to the Chinese restaurant. A part of him was wondering if it was a good idea that she had come to visit since she was clearly upset with him. He’d clearly done something or said something wrong. So it was probably good if he just stopped talking. “You can order whatever you want. My treat…” he offered, giving her a tight smile.

She ran her fingers through her hair, feeling herself getting a little fidgety. This wasn’t really how she’d thought this weekend would go. “Finn.” Santana took off her seatbelt so that she could turn her body to slightly face his. “This was a silly joke that went too far. Can we forget about it and just be normal again?” She reached out to put a hand on top of his, looking up at him with an overly dramatic, fake pout. “Please?” Maybe if she kept everything light and playful, they’d be able to simply roll past their conversation.

Finn nodded and looked down at her hand on top of his before he pulled away. “Yeah, it’s cool. Let’s just get our food. Then we can go grab some drinks,” he suggested, unbuckling his seatbelt and reaching for his door handle.

Santana pulled her hands back to herself as she got out of the car. If she had known things would get awkward, she would have kept a lot of how she replied to herself. They weren’t on the same page with this, and that was okay in itself, but it just put a slight damper on things for the time being. Things stayed a little uncomfortable as they ordered and received the food. Though everything seemed to slowly relax, and come back to normal, while they walked around the store. They’d settled on various drinks and snacks before returning to his car once again, this time finally on the way back to his place. “I’m seriously starving. We shouldn’t have gone snack hunting while hungry.”

He was honestly happy when the uneasiness between them slowly started to fade. It was a relief, really, and by the time he was parking in front of his place, they were talking like normal. He helped her with her bag up the stairs and let them into his nicely sized one bedroom apartment.

She followed him into the apartment, already seeming to make herself at home. First, she stopped by the table to put down the Chinese food. Then she headed into the kitchen to put everything else away. Since he had handled her bag, she felt like the least she could do was handle everything else. “Are you just having a beer with dinner,” she called out. “Or did you want something else?”

“Yeah, I'll take a beer. You can have whatever,” he commented as he moved to the couch to slip his boots off. He'd usually just sit by the front door and do it, but he felt like that might come across as silly. So he just did it from the couch and then placed them back by the door.  Next, he adjusted the thermostat a little, knowing that she always got a little colder than he did. Then he headed down the hall a little to his room to change into a pair of basketball shorts and a faded WMHS t-shirt.

Santana got everything situated for them. All of the food, two beers, and backup plate and silverware. When she noticed he wasn’t on the couch, she figured he had disappeared to go change. Since she had just been on the plane, she was comfortable in her sweatpants and tank top. She sat on the couch, legs crossed underneath her, as she waited for him to return. “You literally look like you just time travelled back to being, like, seventeen,” she told him with a small laugh.

Finn glanced down at himself then back at her with a boyish grin. “I wasn't this in shape back then, but isn't that good because that when you liked me the most,” he joked, taking a seat beside her on the couch. “We can pretend like we're just hanging out like we used to or something.” He thought it my easy some of their earlier tension.

“I totally appreciate the added muscle, but you’re still my Finn. Your face hasn’t really changed, which is what really makes your throwback look.” She scrunched up her nose as she looked at him, smile on her face. “So does that include the cuddles after I’m finished eating or do I have to sit here all by myself? ‘Cause hanging out like we used to had a lot more touching.”

Making a little face, Finn looked at her in surprise. “You don’t think my face has changed? I guess that’s true. Sometimes I grow a little beard, but it doesn’t grow in thick enough. So I end up shaving it all off.” He scratched at his chin, chuckling until she asked if they could cuddle. “Well, yeah, of course we can cuddle.  I thought you came here to cheer me up. Cuddles totally cheer me up.”

Santana shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, it looks a little older but it’s still just you.” She watched his face as he thought about what she had said, with a soft smile on her own. Hearing that cuddling wasn’t off limits, she cheered up a little bit. “My entire plan is to cheer you up. Anything you want, I got you. Though I might draw the line at a foot massage ‘cause that’s pushing it.”

“I'm always gonna be just me,” he said happily. He liked himself a lot to be honest. “I'm just plain ol’ Finn Hudson. Smalltown kid.  I kind of like that about myself,” he told her as he shifted closer to her. “I think it would be really weird if you rubbed my feet. So I'll just stick to cuddles.”

“You’re literally the cutest person I know,” she told him. “And I like that about you too. I’m sure most people do.” Santana grabbed one of the containers of food, moving to sit right next to him as she fell back against the couch. “Cuddles I can totally do.” She started eating, but then turned to look at him. “I feel weird stuffing my face alone.” So she took another fork full and held it in front of his face.

Finn shook his head. “I’m not cute! I’m...tough and manly!” He lifted his arm and flexed his bicep, holding it out for her to touch. “See?” He smiled and looked at her expectantly. “I’ll eat with you when you say how manly I am.”

Santana laughed at his reaction. “You can be tough and manly, and cute, at the same time.” When he told her that he wasn’t eating until she gave in, she sighed and put the food down. “You,” she started, moving so that she was facing him on the couch, her face closer to his. “Are the manliest man in the world.” There was a smirk on her face as she spoke.

“I don't think it works like that, Santan,” he teased, raising his hand to her face like he was going to pinch her cheek. When she finally gave in and said what he wanted, he leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. “Thanks, babe,” he said before he reached for his food again and started eating.

She rolled her eyes at him as she sat back down. “That was easy,” she said through a laugh. “Do I get everything I want if I just tell you what you want to hear?” Santana balanced her food on her lap while she grabbed her beer. “‘Cause I can probably work with that,” she continued, placing the bottle back on the table.

Finn shrugged, reaching for his remote to turn something on on Netflix. “I dunno. I guess. What do you want?” he asked, glancing at her as he paused on Parks and Rec, silently asking if it was okay to put on until they got bored with it like they usually did. They both loved it, but they'd both seen it a bunch too.

“I don't know yet. Right now all I want is to chill with you and I'm already getting that.” Santana noticed him hovering on the show, so she simply reached over to grab the remote with him, pressing play as her response. “We’ll have to test my theory out later.” She continued to eat as she absentmindedly watched the show.

They ate and chattered, quoting their favorite parts and laughing. It really felt like old times, even more so without the others around them constantly. In high school, they spent a lot of time just hanging out like that. Of course, they also used to spend a lot of time hooking up, but Finn had almost missed this more. When the food was done, they set their empty plates on the coffee table, and he pulled her to him, cuddling her into his side.

Santana smiled to herself as he pulled her against him. It was a typical Finn move. While Santana was the one to initiate anything sexual in the beginning, it was always Finn that initiated the cuddling. Though that got much more even as their relationship went on. So now it felt like old times. “Oh, hey,” she teased, looking up at his face for a second. She then turned a bit so that she could get more comfortable, slightly curled against him with her head resting by his chest.

Finn rested his hand on her hip and squeezed lightly. “Hey,” he said back softly, just holding her close. She’d always fit against him so snugly, and he liked that that hadn’t ever changed. They were comfortable in a way that he and Sugar had never quite found, and he didn’t realize that until right that moment. He liked being with Sugar, but it was never quite right. Maybe it was because he was used to how Santana communicated, and that was kinda different than his most recent ex. “Do you want to keep watching this or should we find a movie?” he asked once they were comfortable.

“I’m fine either way,” she replied, looking up again. “I like that I’ve already seen this so I don’t have to pay close attention to it.” Her mind was racing through a few different topics and thoughts, so she knew she wouldn’t be able to focus on something she’d never seen before. “It’s one of those shows that never gets old.” Santana stretched her legs out on the rest of the couch, head slowly turning back to the TV. There was a funny one-liner, and even though she hadn’t caught the context this time, she couldn’t help but laugh at the delivery.

Finn laughed along with her and relaxed back against the couch, spreading his legs out in front of him a little. “I like watching new stuff, but I like watching out stuff too. I don’t know what I like doing more,” he mused, his fingers finding the bare, warm skin that had become exposed on her side when she’d moved.

Santana readjusted herself so that she could lower her head down to his lap. “I like watching our old stuff,” she told him. “Especially at night ‘cause then I don’t have to focus on the plot and shit.” She looked up at him as she spoke instead of at the TV. “Plus now I can talk to you more. I don’t have to shush you every time you say something,” she teased.

When she rested her head in his lap, he started running his fingers through her hair. “But you’re not talking to me. You’re just watching tv,” he pointed out jokingly. “But I like watching our old stuff too. You always said that we were like Andy and April, but I don’t know. You’re way better than April. She’s really mean, but not that funny, and she kind of hates a lot of things.” He paused, realizing he could easily be describing Santana. “I mean it sounds like you, but...I don’t know. You’re really soft too.”

“I’m talking to you right now,” she argued. When he started to compare her and April, she laughed a little bit. “I mean, yeah, she’s a little more aggressive than I am… But we’re close enough. You’re smarter than Andy is, but we can still be Andy and April.” Santana grabbed his free hand and pulled, slightly wrapping his arm around her. “Plus April’s a total bitch, but she gets all soft with Andy and that’s how we were too. Everyone else can fuck off, but it’s harder for me to be mean to you.”

Finn happily let her pull his hand to where she wanted it, finding it resting just below her breast for his troubles. “Yeah, true! That’s a good word. Aggressive.” His thumb brushed the underside of her breast by accident, but he didn’t even notice as he considered her words. “Yeah, true, but like how come? You were always so mean to everyone else, but unless you were mad at me, you like never made fun of me or made me feel too dumb about not getting stuff.”

“I don’t know,” she replied slowly, actually taking the time to think about it. “I guess you were always just special to me. Then of course as we started dating and stuff, I ended up falling for you which I’m sure clouded my judgement a lot more.” Santana reached up to put her hand on his cheek. “I can’t be too mean to you. It makes me feel bad.” She let her hand back down, resting below his on her stomach. “You’re still one of the only two people that have ever seen me with every single wall completely down. The other’s Mercedes.”

He could only look at her for a long moment at that admission. She seemed different somehow, and he remembered what it was like to be that boy that fell in love with her. He smiled softly, and stroked the soft curve of her breast. “Well, I guess we’re just lucky to get to see that. It’s my favorite part.”

If they were really back in high school, like they’d mentioned earlier, she would have never said what she did. But she’d grown a lot since graduating. She wasn’t as afraid of different emotions anymore. “Oh, yeah? Totally unfiltered, relaxed Santana is your favorite part?” Santana scrunched up her nose out of habit. “Most people usually choose my boobs as their favorite so I’m shocked,” she joked.

His hand came up, and he palmed her breast playfully. “Well, they’re like great, but I like when you’re just unfiltered and relaxed. It’s like having an ice cold beer after a long day, you know? You’re just...you and it’s beautiful,” he assured her, smiling down at her.

Santana couldn’t help the grin that appeared on her face as she looked up into his eyes. “Thanks,” was all she managed to say for a while. Realizing she was getting a little too lost in her feelings, she sat herself up a little bit, back resting against the arm of the couch while still in his lap. “I mean, an ice cold beer after a long day is great and all, but I’m sure I taste better. So I must be the real winner here.” When things got too far emotionally, she usually jumped back to humor and sex.

It felt like that moment he always felt when they were together. His heart beat faster, and he felt his stomach knot. His gaze fell to her lips, and all he could think about was tasting her again, now that she’d brought it up. He leaned in, stopping just shy of kissing her. “I think I’m the winner right now,” he said softly, then pressed their lips together.

She smiled against his lips, breaking their kiss for just a second, before she was leaning against him to deepen it. There was a voice in the back of her head telling her that this wasn’t the best idea, but everything else was screaming to give in to him. Her hand snaked up the back of his neck as she moved herself so that she was straddling him. It was then that she remembered why she was there in the first place. “I’m not the rebound, right?”

When she kissed him back, he relaxed, his tongue eagerly pressing into her mouth. He frowned when she pulled back from the kiss. “What?” He was confused until he remembered he'd been dating Sugar. “Oh! No, you're definitely not. I didn't really like her as more than a friend it turns out.” He shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it because it would ruin the mood. “I want this with you, like so bad.” He took her hand and led it down to where he was hardening in his shorts.

Santana accepted his answer pretty easily. He really didn't have any reason to lie to her about it, and obviously she wanted him too. “Okay,” she whispered before moving to kiss him again. As they kissed, she slowly began to grind her hips down against his. Though it only lasted a few seconds before she was sliding off of him, hands moving to pull off his shorts.

[voyagehole9-blog]

Family Friday (vol. 89): Ringing in 2019!

I cannot believe it was November 30th that I last posted a Family Friday! Time really does fly, doesn’t it?

The holidays were good! I had a bit of anxiety going into them because we had lots of travel planned. That is, after we canceled out trip to Cancun (don’t feel too bad for me, we just booked a 9 night stay in MAUI for our 10th anniversary this spring!!!). Piper also came down with what I have to assume was the flu. She had 103 degree temps for 2 days and was a little limp noodle for 3+ days. She recovered just in time for Christmas, though!

Christmas Eve I worked a half day, reported home to throw everything in the car, and headed 2 1/2 hours to my cousin’s house. We did a whirlwind Christmas Eve there before driving back home and doing the whole Santa thing. The girls were sound asleep when we arrived home, but good thing mom and dad remembered Santa’s cookies (and cocoa, not milk…thanks to the lady at checkout one day. UGH) and the carrots for the reindeer. Santa even left a handwritten note telling the girls they needed to be good in order for Santa to come again next year. In the morning, they first had to finish up Santa’s cookies (guess he wasn’t all that hungry after a very filling Christmas Eve) and only after all the sugar was gone could they then moved on to gifts. The highlight was the “rainbow watch” that Santa was lucky enough to score on Amazon. Because really, where does one find a RAINBOW watch? The elves were stumped. We really did keep it simple this year: watch, sled, Shimmer & Shine dolls, a game/puzzle each, toothbrush, and Contigo kids water bottles because they disappear only every other second. It won’t be long before we’re upping the ante on the holidays so we enjoyed keeping it at a minimum. Oh, and for now, two of everything. Keeping the peace as we learn the intricacies of sharing.

On Christmas Day, my parents and brother reported to Michigan for a day of homemade cinnamon rolls, appetizers, and lounging around. A little gift opening, too, of course. My crew didn’t get up until well past 9am and so albeit a very busy morning for me, I had cinnamon rolls rising and all my appetizers prepped by the time they sauntered down. I think next year (at 5 and 3-years-old) it will REALLY get exciting. Piper sure does love saying “Christmas!” every time she sees Christmas lights or a Christmas tree. This includes every evergreen tree we see. I really do think 2 is the most perfect age. Don’t get me started on how every coin (penny, quarter, nickel, fake coin, whatever) is a “wishing coin”. She recalls the ONE time at least 7-8 months ago we threw a penny into a wishing well. She’s just the cutest. Shea, on the other hand, while absolutely adorable, questions EVERYTHING. I realize this is part of development and is age-appropriate and so I dig deep for all of my patience. The girl is just incessant with the talking and questions. She’s basically a miniature version of me and so naturally that just doesn’t always jive 🙂

The evening of Christmas we packed up and headed to my in-laws for 5 days. We got to see my sister-in-law who was in from Seattle and got in some visits with friends, cousin time, an Illini game, a little bit of shopping, plenty of eating, and fortunately, plenty of sleep and exercise. The midwest temperatures have been glorious!

We got back last Sunday and I returned to work on Monday. I wasn’t really planning to work a full day, but I definitely did. My leadership cohort is wrapping up next month and I’ve got some catching up to do. I present to the health system’s senior leadership team in just over a month and obviously I want to showcase all that my project entailed. With New Years Day off, it was a weird mid-week break before returning to our regularly scheduled program of daycare and work on Wednesday. We got in a groove just in time for the weekend and so here we are. I think we’re all ready for a return to normalcy – you know, reasonable bedtimes, waking before 8am, brushing teeth before noon, eating vegetables…the whole bit!

In case you didn’t read or see, Mark got me a Peloton for Christmas! It was most unexpected and it gets installed on Monday. It is JUST the thing I need to get back in the groove of morning workouts. I was at the gym this week and holy heck was it BUSY. I just can’t. The gym in January makes me nuts. I’m very excited to retreat to my basement with my new bike and really get into some lasting morning workout routines. It is forever a struggle of mine even though evening workouts are straight up TORTURE.

I got 2 new cookbooks (1 as a gift and 1 as a gift for myself – oops) and I’m thoroughly enjoying both. I’ve chosen some killer recipes and have some happy campers over here.

My FitBit died yesterday and I’m so annoyed. I got a Versa in late August and in the past week the battery started draining about 3-4x faster than it had been and than it should be. I called FitBit and they were wonderful, providing directions on next steps to perform a battery life test. I was in the process of recharging after it died completely, as instructed, and now it is totally unresponsive. I called FitBit back last night and they are sending a new one. Still, I’m annoyed. Mark teased that I might as well not move until it comes because I won’t get “my steps” (what a terd), but it’s just the concept. And admittedly, I’m so accustomed to text alerts and calls coming to my watch that I feel a little lost without it. Oh, technology. What insignificant problems you present!

Our podcast is going SO well! So well in that we finally have a groove and we’re loving it. If you haven’t checked it out, please do! It’s called the Dietitians Dish. We’d also love if you’d review our podcast after listening. We welcome any episode topic requests or questions – feel free to email those or post here as a comment! I always love to hear what people want to hear about. ‘Cause lord knows Gina and I could make a podcast about nearly anything and have a blast in the process. She’s my new Saturday morning coffee date in the basement as we record podcast episodes.

I’m also thinking about writing a blog post devoted to how we started our podcast. It might save someone a LOT of time and energy. Plus, it’d be podcasting for dummies because we are such novices on the tech side…but have so much nutrition, food, mom, and girl stuff we want to talk about. I can’t wait to see where 2019 takes our little podcast!

Date night tonight – better get to looking presentable. Have a super first weekend of 2019!

Be well,

Source: https://preventionrd.com/2019/01/family-friday-vol-89-ringing-in-2019/

[charllieeldridge]

Teacher Feature: Living in The USA and Teaching ESL Online

In this interview, we’re chatting with Nicola, an American teacher living in the USA while teaching English online and travelling around her home country!

Nicola has taught English from her laptop while on an east coast USA road trip from Florida to North Carolina, camping in the north Georgia mountains (while using a wifi hot spot), and while on a trip to Nashville.

In the (hopefully near) future, she’s planning to do a Florida Keys road trip while teaching.

Learn about what it’s like to be an online English teacher, what a day in the life of a teacher looks like, how much the salary is, what qualifications are needed to get hired, and the pros and cons of the job and lifestyle.

Here we go!

1. Thanks for allowing us to interview you! Please tell us a bit about yourself.

My name is Nicola and I’m an online English teacher from Atlanta, Georgia. I’ve been teaching online since 2017 and in that time I’ve become totally fascinated with all things related to online education. 

Nicola teaching online from her virtual classroom

Because I love the sweatpants-wearing freedom of teaching online, I now create helpful guides and classroom resources for aspiring virtual teachers. I also write about digital nomad life on my travel blog, https://ift.tt/2WiJQWC;

When I’m not teaching or blogging, you can find me befriending lizards in the park, wandering through obscure little museums, or whipping up a batch of my famous guacamole. 

2. What made you decide to become a teacher? Did you have any prior experience?

Before I started teaching online, I worked as a science teacher in a small town back home. My students were amazing and I loved teaching. Plus, getting to make fizzy explosions with Alka-seltzer and vinegar all day was pretty cool. 

I’d always loved exploring new places and I knew that long-term, I wanted travel to be a big part of my life. So I started researching ways to combine my two passions: teaching and travelling. 

Of course, I stumbled upon post after post (some of them on this very blog, now that I think about it!) about how to start teaching abroad.

After reading what felt like 15,000 blog articles about teaching abroad, I decided it would be the perfect fit for me.

I enrolled in an online Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL) course with International TEFL Academy while I was still teaching full-time and finishing up my graduate degree in teaching. 

It was a lot of work, but I learned so much in my course. And, that’s really saying something because at that point I already had years of classroom experience!

While I felt pretty confident about lesson planning and classroom management, I enjoyed learning more about how to create lessons specifically designed for TEFL students. 

The TEFL program required that I complete 20 hours of hands-on ESL teaching experience so I found an adult English as a Second Language (ESL) class in my community.

I reached out to the instructor and he agreed to let me observe some lessons and even do some practice teaching. 

Teaching online while on a road trip

In that class, I met a woman who wanted more one-on-one practice. We agreed to meet at the local library once a week for tutoring and quickly became great friends. We even met a few times after I finished my 20 hours of student-teaching, just for fun!

Because I was balancing taking the TEFL course with my normal job, it took me about four months to complete everything and earn my certification.

When the time came for me to start applying for teaching jobs, I had several years of in-person teaching experience as well as my TEFL certification. I also had a graduate degree in education. 

My background qualified me for a lot of teaching positions, but most online teaching jobs don’t require the level of experience that I had.

A TEFL certificate, degree, or experience working with children in some capacity is often sufficient. And actually, there are some online teaching companies that will hire you even if you don’t have a university degree. 

3. How did you find an online English teaching job?

At the beginning, I planned to teach English in a classroom abroad. I didn’t even know online teaching was a thing until I discovered it by chance! 

The school year ended and I knew I wanted to start teaching abroad in the fall, which gave me a few months to figure out my next steps.

Luckily, the International TEFL Academy was very helpful and warmly responded to my (seemingly) thousands of questions.  

As I “researched” places I might want to go by binge-watching episodes of House Hunters International, a friend casually suggested that I try teaching online as a summer side hustle. 

I had never heard of teaching online before and I was skeptical at first. It sounded way too good to be true! I spent several days reading everything I could find about online teaching to make sure it was legitimate before finally taking the plunge. 

At that point, teaching online wasn’t as popular as it is now. There wasn’t nearly as much information out there about online teaching and I didn’t realize that it could be a long-term job. 

I just figured it would be a fun way to get more TEFL teaching experience under my belt and pad my travel savings account for my big move abroad. 

I applied to VIPKID, decorated a tri board with felt shapes to be my classroom background, and started teaching a few weeks later. 

Nicola teaching online with VIPKID

But it didn’t take me long to realize that online teaching was my bread and butter. I absolutely loved working from my computer and the fact that I could roll out of bed, brush my teeth, and be at work 5 minutes later.

The fact that I didn’t have to do any of my own lesson planning meant I could focus on my favorite part of the gig — teaching my students. After the summer ended, I decided to keep teaching online as my main job, and the rest is history. 

Even though I didn’t end up following the path I thought I would, I’m so happy I found an opportunity to work as a teacher with plenty of time to travel. 

4. Did you need to have any qualifications to get a job teaching with VIPKID?

To teach for VIPKID, you’ll need to be a native English speaker from the USA or Canada, excluding California. You’ll also need a bachelor’s degree in any subject and at least two years of experience working with children in some capacity. 

VIPKID does not require formal teaching experience. Having it is a plus, but you can count things like tutoring, mentoring, babysitting, homeschooling, and camp counseling as experience working with children. 

VIPKID is unique because, at this time, they don’t require a TEFL certificate. Having one will save you time during the hiring process, but it’s not a firm requirement.

If you don’t have one, you will just have to complete additional TEFL training modules during the onboarding process. 

However, the vast majority of online teaching platforms do require a TEFL certification so it’s worth looking into getting one, especially if you’ve never taught before. 

I’m a native English speaker from the USA, with a bachelor’s degree, experience working with children, and a TEFL certificate, so I checked all the boxes with VIPKID and was able to secure a job. Click here to learn more about my experience working with VIPKID.

5. What does a day in the life of an online English teacher working from the USA look like?

I live in the east coast time zone and the majority of my students live in China, so my mornings start pretty early! I usually get up around 5:45 am and start teaching at 6:30 am. 

I have back-to-back half-hour classes until 9:00 am Eastern time, which is when the VIPKID platform closes classroom hours for the night. I work that schedule every morning Monday – Friday. 

Even though the early mornings are an adjustment, I love taking care of work at the beginning of the day so I have the rest of the day to pursue other interests. 

Sometimes, I’ll also work Friday or Saturday nights. These nights correspond with Saturday and Sunday morning in China, so there’s a higher demand for classes because students aren’t in school. 

Teaching in the morning means getting your work done early and having the rest of the day free!

If I do a night shift, I’ll start at 8:30 pm east coast time on Friday or Saturday. I’ll usually do 6 classes back to back, ending at 11:30 pm. If I’m feeling really energized or want to make extra money, I’ll sometimes go even later. 

The most classes I’ve been able to do in one sitting is 12 (6 hours) but that was pretty exhausting. If you choose to do late nights on Friday and Saturday, make sure to keep the following morning free so you can sleep in!

6. How much does an online English teacher with VIPKID earn per month/per class?

Pay with VIPKID can vary depending on your credentials, amount of classes taught, and time with the company, but in general most teachers make between $7-$9 per 25-minute class with the opportunity for bonuses.

These bonuses include a slight increase to class pay depending on the length of time you’ve been teaching with VIPKID and how many classes you’ve taught in a particular month. 

Classes are 25-minutes long so you can teach 2 classes per hour.

Remember that you don’t have to teach two classes per hour when you are first starting. Some newer teachers prefer to do just one class per hour and take a longer break between classes until it starts to come more naturally. 

Nicola travelling around Vietnam

I’ve created the example scenario below to explore how much an online teacher could work with VIPKID when they are newly hired. Your exact situation will vary based on personal factors, but this will help you get a baseline of what you can expect to earn. 

For a teacher who is first starting out, it’s common to get a starting pay rate of $7.50 per class. According to the new VIPKID pay system, they would receive an additional $0.80 per class for their first 20 classes, then an additional $1.20 per class for classes 21 – 40, and so on.

To keep it simple, let’s say this new teacher earns on average $8.50 per class ($7.50 base rate plus the additional incentive amount) or $17 per hour. 

If that teacher were to work 15 hours per week (3 hours per day, 5 days per week, for example), they would earn $255 per week or $1020 per month. 

If that teacher were to work 25 hours per week (let’s say 4 hours in the morning Monday through Friday, then an extra five hours on Friday nights), they would make $425 per week or $1700 per month. 

Keep in mind that the longer you teach on the platform, the higher your base rate and bonus amount can go. Many teachers who have been with VIPKID for a while and teach frequently earn over $20/hour. 

Of course, teachers are free to work more or less than this if they want.

Some months, I’ll take entire weeks off at a time. Other months, I’ll do overnight teaching sessions on the weekends to earn some extra money. The flexibility is an awesome part of online teacher life!

7. What are the pros and cons of teaching online while living in the USA?  

The time zone difference is the biggest pro and the biggest con of teaching online while living in the states. 

On the negative side, USA-based teachers who are working with students in China will likely have abnormal teaching hours. Teachers must get up very early or work late at night to accommodate their students’ schedules on the other side of the world. 

If getting up early isn’t your cup of tea, it will be hard to make significant income as an online teacher living in the USA while teaching kids in China. 

That being said, there are other companies out there that don’t cater to the Chinese market. If you were teaching for a non-region specific company, the hours wouldn’t be so extreme. 

Funny enough, the time difference is also one of the biggest pros.

Now that I’ve gotten used to it, I really like getting the bulk of my work finished early in the day. It has given me time to pursue new hobbies and interests that I wouldn’t have time for otherwise.

Even though I go to bed at embarrassingly early times, I really like having most of the daytime hours free. 

Additionally, if you’re planning to teach online on top of your normal job, you can easily do so without having to change your regular schedule. You can schedule classes before work or on the weekends to add an extra income source without changing your usual work routine. 

8. Any final advice for an aspiring English teacher? 

There is a lot to love about online teaching. It’s fun to connect with students around the world, the pay is competitive, you don’t have to commute, and you can work from home or anywhere with good WiFi.

One of the best parts about being an online English teacher is flexibility. With this job, your schedule and workload can really look however you want.

Most platforms do not have set schedules and they do not require that you teach a minimum number of hours. This is great news for aspiring online teachers who maybe aren’t ready to make the jump. 

Because you usually aren’t locked into a set schedule, there’s no harm in applying and trying out online teaching with the platform of your choice.

Sign up, teach a few lessons, and see what you think! I bet you’ll love it, but if you don’t, all you have to do is stop scheduling classes. It’s low risk and you could end up with a new remote job that you love!

Nicola in Nashville — combining work and travel

Whether you’re looking for a work-from-home-job, a fun new side hustle, or a job that will give you more location independence, teaching online might be a great place to start. For me, online teaching was a great way to combine my two passions: education and travel. 

To learn more about teaching, have a look at our detailed articles:

10 Best Online English Teaching Companies

Teaching English Online Without a Degree – Top 10 Companies That Will Hire You

7 Best Online TEFL Courses for English Teachers

Note: The lead image in this article is courtesy of Shutterstock. Learn more here.

The post Teacher Feature: Living in The USA and Teaching ESL Online appeared first on Goats On The Road.

Teacher Feature: Living in The USA and Teaching ESL Online published first on https://travelaspire.weebly.com/

[vincentpennington]

7-Day Weight-Loss Meal Plan (February 10-February 16)

A free 7-day, flexible weight loss meal plan including breakfast, lunch and dinner and a shopping list. All recipes include calories and updated WW Smart Points.

7-Day Weight-Loss Meal Plan

Valentine’s Day is this week, and while I have some recipes included in this weeks plan, if you need to plan for a party at school, don’t forget to check out my recipes for Red Velvet Cupcakes, Chocolate Covered Strawberries, and all my other Valentine’s Day Recipes. I hope every enjoys their day!

WW has changed their plan to now include a Blue, Purple and Green Plan. All the recipes on my blog are updated for the Blue plan. I’ve been updating all my recipes (over 2000) and have completed 2019 with the other two colors, and I am working my way down so please be patient.

Why Should Everyone Meal Plan?

Meal planning is a great way to organize your meals for the week ahead. You also save time and money in the supermarket! And of course, planning ahead helps you stick to your goals!

About The Meal Plan

If you’re new to my meal plans, I’ve been sharing these free, 7-day flexible healthy meal plans (you can see my previous meal plans here) that are meant as a guide, with plenty of wiggle room for you to add more food, coffee, beverages, fruits, snacks, dessert, wine, etc or swap recipes out for meals you prefer, you can search for recipes by course in the index. You should aim for around 1500 calories* per day.

There’s also a precise, organized grocery list that will make grocery shopping so much easier and much less stressful. Save you money and time. You’ll dine out less often, waste less food and you’ll have everything you need on hand to help keep you on track.

Lastly, if you’re on Facebook join my Skinnytaste Facebook Community where everyone’s sharing photos of recipes they are making, you can join here. I’m loving all the ideas everyone’s sharing! If you wish to get on the email list, you can subscribe here so you never miss a meal plan!

Also, if you don’t have the Skinnytaste Meal Planner, now would be a great time to get one to get organized for 2020! There was a print error last year, but it’s perfect now! You can order it here!

THE DETAILS:

Breakfast and lunch Monday-Friday, are designed to serve 1 while dinners and all meals on Saturday and Sunday are designed to serve a family of 4. Some recipes make enough leftovers for two nights or lunch the next day. While we truly believe there is no one size fits all meal plan, we did our best to come up with something that appeals to a wide range of individuals. Everything is Weight Watchers friendly, I included the updated WW Blue SP for your convenience, feel free to swap out any recipes you wish or just use this for inspiration!

The grocery list is comprehensive and includes everything you need to make all meals on the plan. I’ve even included brand recommendations of products I love and use often. Cross check your cabinets because many condiments you’ll notice I use often, so you may already have a lot of them.

And last, but certainly not least, this meal plan is flexible and realistic. There’s plenty of wiggle room for cocktails, healthy snacks, dessert and dinner out. And if necessary, you can move some things around to make it work with your schedule. Please let me know if you’re using these plans, this will help me decide if I should continue sharing them!

MONDAY (2/10) B: Greek Yogurt with Berries, Nuts and Honey (5B 8G 5P) L: Chicken Waldorf Salad (3B 4G 3P) D: Vegetarian Enchiladas with Butternut Squash and Black Beans (3B 3G 3P) with 1 tablespoon light sour cream (1B 1G 1P) and Chipotle’s Cilantro Lime Rice* (6B 6G 6P)

Totals: Freestyle™ SP 18B 22G 18P, Calories 868**

TUESDAY (2/11) B: Greek Yogurt with Berries, Nuts and Honey (5B 8G 5P) L: Chicken Waldorf Salad (3B 4G 3P) in 2 slices thin whole grain bread (4B 4G 4P) D: LEFTOVER Vegetarian Enchiladas with Butternut Squash and Black Beans (3B 3G 3P) with 1 tablespoon light sour cream (1B 1G 1P) and Chipotle’s Cilantro Lime Rice (6B 6G 6P)

Totals: Freestyle™ SP 22B 26G 22P, Calories 1,001**

WEDNESDAY (2/12) B:  Avocado Toast with Sunny Side Egg (4B 6G 4P) L: Chicken Waldorf Salad (3B 4G 3P) D: Lasagna Soup (7B 9G 5P) with a green salad # (1B 1G 1P)

Totals: Freestyle™ SP 15B 20G 13P, Calories 801**

THURSDAY (2/13) B: Avocado Toast with Sunny Side Egg (4B 6G 4P) L: LEFTOVER Lasagna Soup (7B 9G 5P) D: Waffle Crusted Chicken with Spicy Maple Sauce (3B 5G 3P) and String Beans with Garlic and Oil (2B 2G 2P)

Totals: Freestyle™ SP 16B 22G 14P, Calories 871**

FRIDAY (2/14) B: Heart-Shaped Chocolate Chip Banana Pancakes (6B 6G 6P) with ½ cup raspberries (0B 0G 0P) L: LEFTOVER Lasagna Soup (7B 9G 5P) D: Perfect Filet Mignon for Two (5B 5G 5P) (Recipe x 2) Skinny Garlic Mashed Potatoes (5B 5G 1P) and Easy Garlic Broccolini (1B 1G 1P)

Totals: Freestyle™ SP 24B 26G 18P, Calories 958**

SATURDAY (2/15) B: Eggs and Tomato Breakfast Melts (3B 3G 3P) with 1 cup grapes (0B 0G 0P) L: Chickpea Salad (1B 5G 1P) D: DINNER OUT!

Totals: Freestyle™ SP 4B 8G 4P, Calories 446**

SUNDAY (2/16) B: Cinnamon Apple Yogurt Bowls (6B 9G 6P) (recipe x 2) L: The Skinny Tuna Melt (4B 5G 4P ) (recipe x 2) with an apple (0B 0G 0P) D: Cheesy Turkey Meatball Skillet (8B 9G 8P) with Roasted Asparagus (0B 0G 0P) and 2 ounces multigrain baguette (3B 3G 3P)

Totals: Freestyle™ SP 21B 26G 21P, Calories 1,120**

*Double rice for leftovers on Tuesday **This is just a guide, women should aim for around 1500 calories per day. Here’s a helpful calculator to estimate your calorie needs. I’ve left plenty of wiggle room for you to add more food such as coffee, beverages, fruits, snacks, dessert, wine, etc. # Green salad includes 6 cups romaine, 2 scallions and ½ cup each tomatoes and carrots plus ¼ cup light vinaigrette.

(more…)

The post 7-Day Weight-Loss Meal Plan (February 10-February 16) appeared first on Skinnytaste.

[comingouttarot]

How Can I Have the Most Accurate Tarot Reading?

Have you been to a tarot reader before? If you haven't my guess is that you’re not sure how it all works. Get a drink and sit over here ‘cause we’re about to fix all that. The first time I had a Tarot reading it was with the friend of a friend. He said, “You have to meet her. She’s amazing. And accurate.” OK. I was young. We were dating. I didn’t want to do my homework. Sure. Whatever. We drove to an apartment full of natural fibers, D&D, and cats. It wasn't her home. She was crashing there. The Reading We went into an empty spare bedroom and we sat on the floor. She asked me what I wanted to know or if I wanted a general reading. I said, “Uh, General.” I was kinda nervous. And I was kinda excited. Definitely full of anticipation about what this person I didn’t know, with these piercing black and knowing eyes, this untamed tight curly hair, and in a white tank and black leather jacket would know about me. She lit a clove cigarette and she started shuffling. She started talking through the side of her mouth the cigarette wasn’t hanging from. “I’m in school for this. In classes. It’s a metaphysical school.” I wanted to be her. She was freakin’ amazing. I was hooked and she hadn’t done anything but be really fucking cool. As soon as she flipped over that first card and stared at it she paused. She took a slow drag. Put her finger on the card. As she exhaled, she looked up at me and stared into my soul. Then she told me the truth. For an hour. She said, “Is there anything else you’d like to know?” I had no idea what to say I was so shocked at the truth. from someone I didn’t know. Now, years later, I want to know why that reading was so on point.

Seek Out Accurate Insight

If you're getting a Tarot reading for the first time you naturally assume that you're going to find out what's in store for you future. You've been conditioned to think that way. I think you can take Tarot reading farther than that and focus on what you want to be in your future. For example, some people know they can come to a Tarot reader and get advice on what they should be doing next in their life. But not everybody knows that. Not everybody knows that you can seek out insight and actions that you can act on from a Tarot reader. So I think it's more accurate to say that when you come to a tarot reader for the first time you're looking for a bit of magic. You want to be impressed at the reader’s “knowing.” You probably also want to know your future. Certainly. What you don't know is that you're shaping your future by wanting to know what it is. And the best way to do that is to ask the reader specific questions about what it is that you're trying to achieve. That way you can be more focused and successful. The more specific you are with your Tarot reader about what you're trying to get more insight on, the more impressed you're going to be with the answers you receive. You're probably going to hear answers you never even thought of. And that means you're going to feel like a little bit of magic was just created.

You’re Going to Know Something About Me

One of the concerns I hear the most about coming to a Tarot reader for the first time is that I'm going to know something about you that you don't want me to know. Totally valid concern. In the age that we live in, the awareness of "big brother" is a real experience. It causes us to want to protect our privacy. Our privacy is the only thing that we can truly call our own. Especially in a world where anybody can find out anything about us online. Leaked or not, we want to be in control of that information leak. So when you're going to talk to someone that you think of as psychic it feels like an uncontrollable experience.

You’re Going to Tell Me Something Bad About My Life

So most people just say, “Well I just don't want to know.” SMDH To take that feeling of not being in control a step further, I assume you think that I'm going to tell you when you're going to die or that your husband/boyfriend/partner/whatever is cheating on you. Or that it’s true, your grandma really is a bitch and she always hated you. Basically the things that devastate you or you fear the most. Here's what I have to say to all of that. Don't ask me about that stuff. Ask me about what can be in your control. Let's think about the husband/boyfriend/partner/whatever scenario. Ask me how you can improve the relationship. Ask me what challenges you're having in the relationship that you can work on today. Think of me like your Tarot Google. We're just going to search through the universe to find the answers to your most pressing questions instead of searching through the Internet.

I Don’t Know What to Do or How to Act

Once you finally take the leap and decide you’re ready for a Tarot reading, you schedule it. Do you know what to do after that? I never realized this before but it's like being on a first date. Or kissing someone for the first time. You feel like a fish out of water. You forget how to act. You don't know what to say or you think you sound stupid. You don't know if you should say anything at all. It’s like you forget how to be a human being. Gah! Super intimidating. Here's the good news. You have more opportunities than I did to find out what it's like to be a part of a tarot reading without even getting one. First, I have a Tarot kit for you. Second, there are a lot of Tarot readers already on social media (Periscope | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube). In fact, I'm on Periscope every Friday at 6 PM central. Download the Periscope app or if you already use Twitter you can follow me @comingouttarotand see what it's like for other people to get a live Tarot reading. I like when people creep my scopes. As long as you're not a troll. And you're just hanging out to see what it's like, that's all good. You get a chance to see how other people ask questions. You'll get to see how a tarot reading is performed. You get a chance to see how I interact with people. You'll get to see that it's not as stuffy or creepy or otherworldly as you might think it is. You get to see I don't wear a cape or have a crystal ball or a weird hat on my head. And you can do it in your pajamas. You’re welcome.

My Friends/Family Will Find Out I Came to a Tarot Reader

Only if you tell them. :) Now if you're anything like me you're probably not going to tell anyone that you went to a tarot reader right away. It starts to feel absurd that you went to someone who isn't a licensed therapist or a career coach or a known and respected professional according to what other people think. But you’re your own person! You do you. When you play back what you heard and what you experienced during the tarot reading you may not feel that your mom or husband is going to receive the message you received in the same way you did. You're absolutely right. Until you internalize the message you received and qualify it based on your experiences that message isn't ready to be shared with anyone else. Once you've qualified it though, then it's time to tell people where you got your insight. Share with others which Tarot reader kicked you in the ass and how you decided to take your next steps. Talk about what the momentum in your life feels like. And definitely talk about what the results are.

With What Money

So I imagine you're thinking, "Seth, I don't have the funds to throw away on a tarot reading.” Do you think that taking a moment to examine your choices and decide how to make the best decisions so that you can be more successful is really throwing away money? I think that buying your mocha latte is throwing away money. I mean, the mocha latte is not advancing your life. A latte is not an investment in yourself or your future. It may be saving other people from dying around you but is it really helping you? Plus #Free. See conversation about Periscope above. You can get a lot of value out of free resources that Tarot readers offer. For example, my coming out reading live in Instagram at 6a central (and stored on IGTV) is a free resource that I offer where you can get insight and actionable advice on whatever it is you are coming out about.

I Don’t Believe in This Stuff

I didn't either. Until I saw it work. Listen, if you don't believe in Tarot, you don't believe. I’m never going to convince you to believe in what a tarot reading can offer until you experience it for yourself. So join me on Periscope.

Readers are Just Cold Reading People Anyway

One more thing. There are a lot of Tarot imposters out there that do use cold reading in order to make you feel like you are getting a powerful and impactful Tarot reading. There are readers who are not practicing cold reading. Myself included. How can you tell the difference? Here are some questions that you can ask your Tarot reader in order to feel more comfortable with them. In fact here's how to choose the right Tarot reader for you.

What’s Periscope?

Periscope is an app that was developed by the folks at Twitter. It is a live streaming app. You can certainly check out any of their privacy notices and how it's connected to Twitter online. So if you're nervous about Periscope or what it means to be on a live streaming app, Google is your friend. One of the advantages to Periscope and getting a tarot reading with me on the app is that you ask your question in a public forum. There is a community of people ready to support you. Especially when your question deals with challenging issues. Some people see that as a disadvantage because it's a private experience. If your question is too private to put into a public forum you're always welcome to connect with me via a private reading.

I Don’t Like New Apps

I totally get that there are some people out there who just don't like new apps. You certainly don't have to use Peri to connect with me. You can send me an email with a ton of questions. Or we can connect via Skype or FaceTime and you can ask me a ton of questions there. Whatever works best for you in order to feel like you get a chance to know me and know more about Tarot.

I Hate to be on Camera

One of the advantages that I think some people see in Periscope is that I'm the only one on camera. Especially if your camera shy or you don't like to be seen on video. Skype is a totally different story. We can see each other, same on FaceTime, but on Periscope you can see me and you can type to me but I can't see you. So if being on camera is an issue for you, I have a few other options for you to think about: Periscope is a one way visual. I have an email reading option in my shop. I can do a reading for you and record it and send you a video of the reading if you'd like.

Prep for the Reading

In order to get the most accurate Tarot reading you have to do some preparation for the reading just like I do. I have a Tarot reading kit that will help you better understand what kind of preparation need to do.

Get the Follow up Plan

One of the most important things you need to do in order to experience an accurate Tarot reading is have a follow up plan. I don't think people receiving a tarot reading think about how they're going to activate after the Tarot reading. That's why I created the Tarot reading follow up plan. It's a structured way for you to take notes during the course of the reading. It also has a little insight on how to prep for the reading so you know what to expect. And it comes with some spaces for you to write down what your next steps are so you actually take some time to think through what you just learned and what you're going to do about it.

4 Steps to the Most Accurate Tarot Reading

Let the reader guide you or you take lead. This mean you really need to choose the right reader.Let magic happen. Sometimes we need an outside force to shake us upBe open and ready to receive the message you need to hear. It’s an energy thing, a receptive thing, a manifestation thing.Ask questions. Be actively involved in your reading

It's Time for a Change

If you take steps to get a more accurate Tarot reading I think you’ll find yourself more confident in your choices which will make you feel more in control of your life and ultimately exceed your own expectations.

Who Are You Living For

Ensuring that you have the most accurate Tarot reading means that you’re going to be taking stronger actions. No more hoping that things are just going to work out along the way. Even better, your decisions are informed. With accurate insight comes the opportunity to make clear decisions. Once the decision is made, you can evaluate your experience and make the next one with more information. And I can’t stress this enough, you’ll no longer be bound by your previous expectations. As you start to advance your life based on your choices, the expectations that you or others had for you become secondary to your current experience. That’s being in the moment. That’s living for yourself right now. (Can you hear the Olympics theme?) Come see what it’s all about!Join me on Periscope FRiday 6p CST So if you’re lacking self-confidence, you feel out of control, and like you’re not succeeding in your own life, what you need is a Tarot reading to shake that up! Join MeSee a live tarot reading in action! Read the full article

[bestofrepices]

Skinnytaste Meal Plan (April 22-April 28)

posted April 20, 2019 by Gina

A free 7-day flexible weight loss meal plan including breakfast, lunch and dinner and a shopping list. All recipes include calories and WW SmartPoints®.

Happy Saturday! For those of you who made a baked ham for Easter, I included a few recipes to use the leftovers, including this Leftover Ham Bone Soup with Potatoes and Cabbage so don’t throw away that ham bone! I’m also over-the-moon to announce The Skinnytaste By Vremi Air Fryer is finally available for pre-order on Amazon!

If you’re new to my meal plans, I’ve been sharing these free, 7-day flexible healthy meal plans (you can see my previous meal plans here) that are meant as a guide, with plenty of wiggle room for you to add more food, coffee, beverages, fruits, snacks, dessert, wine, etc or swap recipes out for meals you prefer, you can search for recipes by course in the index. You should aim for around 1500 calories* per day.

There’s also a precise, organized grocery list that will make grocery shopping so much easier and much less stressful. Save you money and time. You’ll dine out less often, waste less food and you’ll have everything you need on hand to help keep you on track.

Lastly, if you’re on Facebook join my Skinnytaste Facebook Community where everyone’s sharing photos of recipes they are making, you can join here. I’m loving all the ideas everyone’s sharing! If you wish to get on the email list, you can subscribe here so you never miss a meal plan!

Also, if you don’t have the Skinnytaste Meal Planner, now would be a great time to get one to get organized for 2019! There was a print error last year, but it’s perfect now! You can order it here!

(embed)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6RZHTD9AM4(/embed)

THE DETAILS:

Breakfast and lunch Monday-Friday, are designed to serve 1 while dinners and all meals on Saturday and Sunday are designed to serve a family of 4. Some recipes make enough leftovers for two nights or lunch the next day. While we truly believe there is no one size fits all meal plan, we did our best to come up with something that appeals to a wide range of individuals. Everything is Weight Watchers friendly, I included the updated Weight Watcher Freestyle Points for your convenience, feel free to swap out any recipes you wish or just use this for inspiration!

The grocery list is comprehensive and includes everything you need to make all meals on the plan. I’ve even included brand recommendations of products I love and use often. Cross check your cabinets because many condiments you’ll notice I use often, so you may already have a lot of them.

And last, but certainly not least, this meal plan is flexible and realistic. There’s plenty of wiggle room for cocktails, healthy snacks, dessert and dinner out. And if necessary, you can move some things around to make it work with your schedule. Please let me know if you’re using these plans, this will help me decide if I should continue sharing them!

MONDAY (4/22) B: Insanely Good Blueberry Oatmeal Muffins* (4) and a banana (0) L: Chicken Waldorf Salad* (3) on a whole grain roll (3) D: Ham and Swiss Crustless Quiche (5) with 2 cups arugula (0) and 1 tablespoon light balsamic vinaigrette (1)

Totals: Freestyle SP 16, Calories 812 #

TUESDAY (4/23) B: Insanely Good Blueberry Oatmeal Muffins (4) and a pear (0) L: Chicken Waldorf Salad (3) on a whole grain roll (3) D: Steak Taco Lettuce Wraps (4) with Fiesta Lime Rice (2)

Totals: Freestyle SP 16, Calories 968 #

WEDNESDAY (4/24) B: Insanely Good Blueberry Oatmeal Muffins (4) and a banana (0) L: Chicken Waldorf Salad (3) on a whole grain roll (3) D: Leftover Ham Bone Soup with Potatoes and Cabbage (2) with 2 ounces multigrain baguette (3) and a green salad** (2)

Totals: Freestyle SP 17, Calories 969 #

THURSDAY (4/25) B: Insanely Good Blueberry Oatmeal Muffins (4) and a pear (0) L: LEFTOVER Ham Bone Soup with Potatoes and Cabbage (2) and a green salad (2) D: Grilled Bourbon Chicken (5) with ¾ cup brown rice (5) and Roasted Asparagus (0) Totals: Freestyle SP 18, Calories 1,069 #

FRIDAY (4/26) B: Greek Yogurt with Berries, Nuts and Honey (5) L: LEFTOVER Ham Bone Soup with Potatoes and Cabbage (2) and a green salad (2) D: Seattle Asian Salmon Bowl (7)

Totals: Freestyle SP 16, Calories 921 #

SATURDAY (4/27) B: Sausage, Cheese and Veggie Breakfast Casserole (4) and an orange (0) L: Quickest Cast-Iron Thin Crust Pizza (4) (Recipe x 2) and an apple (0) D: DINNER OUT!

Totals: Freestyle SP 8, Calories 504 #

SUNDAY (4/28) B: LEFTOVER Sausage, Cheese and Veggie Breakfast Casserole (4) and 1 cup grapes (0) L: Mayo-less Tuna Macaroni Salad (6) (Recipe x 2) D: Chicken Parmesan Lasagna*** (8) with 1 ½ cups romaine lettuce and 1 ½ tablespoons Skinny Caesar Dressing (2)

Totals: Freestyle SP 20, Calories 1,149 #

*Prep Sunday night, if desired.

**Green salad includes 6 cups mixed greens, 3 scallions, 1 cup each: tomatoes, cucumber, carrots, chickpeas and ¾ cup light vinaigrette.  Set aside 2 servings with dressing on the side for lunch Thurs/Fri.

***Freeze any leftover you/your family won’t eat.

# This is just a guide, women should aim for around 1500 calories per day. Here’s a helpful calculator to estimate your calorie needs. I’ve left plenty of wiggle room for you to add more food such as coffee, beverages, fruits, snacks, dessert, wine, etc.

*google doc

Print Shopping List

Shopping list:

Produce

2 medium bananas

2 medium pears (any variety)

4 medium oranges

5 medium apples (any variety)

2 pounds red seedless grape

10 ounces (2 medium) Yukon gold potatoes

1 pound asparagus

1 medium English cucumber

1 small cucumber

5 ounces sliced Shiitake mushrooms

1 medium head garlic

1 (10-ounce) package baby arugula

1 (5-ounce) package baby spinach

1 (1-pound) package mixed greens

1 large head Romaine lettuce

1 small head Bibb lettuce

1 small head green cabbage

1 small bunch celery

4 medium carrots

1 pound broccoli florets

2 small (4-ounce) Hass avocados

1 small jalapeno

1 dry pint fresh blueberries

1 medium bunch/container fresh basil

1 large bunch scallions

1 small bunch cilantro

1 (3-inch) piece fresh ginger

1 medium shallot

2 medium lemons

3 medium limes

3 large vine-ripened tomatoes

1 small red onion

1 large yellow onion

1 ounce sprouts (such as daikon radish)

Meat, Poultry and Fish

1 pound thin sirloin steaks

1 pound wild salmon

14 ounces cooked ham PLUS 1 ham bone

4 ½ pounds (9) boneless, skinless chicken breasts

7 ounces (2 links) sweet Italian chicken sausage

Grains*

1 small container quick oats

1 small bag whole white wheat flour

1 package whole grain sandwich rolls (I like Martins)

1 (8-ounce) multigrain baguette

1 medium bag dry brown rice (or 5 cups pre-cooked)

1 small bag long grain rice (or 1 ½ cups pre-cooked. Can sub brown rice in Fiesta Rice, if desired)

1 package (6-inch) tortillas (I love Siete gluten-free grain-free cassava tortillas)

1 package small whole wheat or regular pasta (such as elbows)

1 small package seasoned whole wheat breadcrumbs

1 (9-ounce) package no-boil lasagna noodles

Condiments and Spices

Extra virgin olive oil

Canola oil

Cooking spray

Olive oil spray (or get a Misto oil mister)

Kosher salt (I like Diamond Crystal)

Pepper grinder (or fresh peppercorns)

Honey

Light mayonnaise

Light balsamic vinaigrette dressing

Vanilla extract

Cumin

Garlic powder

Oregano

BBQ sauce

Apple cider vinegar (I like Bragg’s)

Red pepper flakes

Reduced sodium soy sauce*

Sesame seeds

Rice wine vinegar

Sesame oil

Red wine vinegar

Dijon mustard

Wasabi in tube

Mirin

Dairy & Misc. Refrigerated Items

2 dozen large eggs

1 (4-ounce) block swiss cheese

1 pint half & half

1 (15-ounce) container part-skim ricotta cheese (I like Polly-O)

1 large wedge fresh Parmesan cheese

1 small wedge fresh Pecorino Romano cheese (can sub ½ cup extra Parmesan in Lasagna, if desired)

1 (12-ounce) bottle skim milk

1 (8-ounce) bottle 2% milk

1 (8-ounce) bag and 1 (1-pound) bag shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese

1 (8-ounce) bag shredded whole milk mozzarella cheese (can sub ½ cup part-skim on pizza, if desired)

1 (17.5-ounce) container plain nonfat Greek yogurt (I like Fage or Stonyfield)

Frozen

1 small package corn (I like Trader Joe’s Fire Roasted)

Canned and Jarred

2 jars marinara**

1 small jar unsweetened applesauce

1 (15-ounce) can black beans

1 (15-ounce) can chickpeas

1 (32-ounce) carton reduced sodium chicken broth

1 (32-ounce) carton low sodium chicken broth

1 (12-ounce) jar roasted red bell peppers

2 (5-ounce) cans albacore tuna

1 small jar capers

1 small can/jar anchovy fillets

Misc. Dry Goods

1 small package brown sugar

1 small package nori (roasted seaweed)

Baking powder

Baking soda

1 small bag walnut or pecan halves

1 (1.7-ounce) bottle bourbon

*You can sub gluten free, if desired

**To make homemade, double THIS recipe and add 2 (28-ounce) cans crushed tomatoes and bay leaves to your shopping list.

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posted April 20, 2019 by Gina

The post Skinnytaste Meal Plan (April 22-April 28) appeared first on All Repices.

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[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Rangers/Hurricanes, Slumping Goal Scorers (Feb 9)

Yeah, we’re in that weird part of the schedule now. Just one game on Friday night after 14 were played on Thursday night and 14 are about to be played on Saturday night. While it is imbalanced like that, fantasy owners would be wise to look for teams that play on so-called “off nights.” You can check out my Ramblings from a week ago for the full schedule, but two of the top three teams when it comes to off nights from February 2 to 16 faced each other in the NHL’s lone game on Friday night.

These “off nights”, which result in the Rangers playing on slow days again on Sunday this week and on Friday and Sunday next week, should generate additional interest in the likes of Mats Zuccarello and Kevin Hayes and even onetime keeper stash Anthony DeAngelo. On the Canes’ side, I added Jaccob Slavin and Petr Mrazek for Friday’s game (along with Hayes, who I picked up earlier in the week). I added Mrazek simply because I desperately need goalie help this week, a move that paid off (more on that shortly). I added Slavin because he entered Friday’s game with seven points in his last seven games.

Before I get into the Hurricanes/Rangers highlights, the off-night teams to target from this Sunday to next Sunday are the aforementioned Rangers, Buffalo, New Jersey, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, and Anaheim (the traditional king of off-nights), who each play three times on off-nights. For more on planning your schedule, be sure to check out this week’s Looking Ahead, a column that appears every Friday.

*

Okay, so now let’s discuss that lone game on Friday night: the Hurricanes and the Rangers. It looked like there wasn’t going to be anything to talk about scoring-wise until the third period, when Warren Foegele scored the eventual game winner at 6:43. Andrei Svechnikov and Brock McGinn scored empty-netters to ice a 3-0 victory for the Hurricanes. McGinn ended the game with two points, giving him five points in his last five games and seven points in his last eight games. Svechnikov’s goal was his 14th of the season, which gives him four points in his last three games. He now sits in second among NHL rookies in goals, “just” 11 behind leader Elias Pettersson.  

Mrazek turned out to be the star of Friday’s game, stopping all 27 shots he faced in earning a 3-0 shutout win. Mrazek gave way to Curtis McElhinney for the previous two games, but the shutout win might earn him another start on Sunday against a struggling Devils squad. Mrazek entered this game with just one quality start in his past six games, and I’d still expect him to split starts with McElhinney the rest of the way.

Slavin didn’t finish with any points, but he did finish the game with a plus-3 and three blocked shots. Since January 20 he is a plus-8 to go with the seven points in his last eight games. I still think he’s a better real-life option than a fantasy option, but no one on the Canes logs more minutes than Slavin (23:02 TOI).

Because of the shutout, Zuccarello’s point streak ended at nine games. He has logged at least 20 minutes of icetime in each of his last seven games. If he is traded at the deadline, I wouldn’t expect him to reach that number on a nightly basis with his new team.

Neal Pionk, the Rangers’ leading scorer among defensemen, was a healthy scratch for the second consecutive game. Pionk has just one assist since December 23, a span of 14 games. Pionk has been slowed by a lower-body injury that resulted from blocking a shot in a game just after Christmas (New York Post), but he was having a fine season before that with 19 points over his first 32 games. The recent struggles of Pionk combined with the underachieving Kevin Shattenkirk have resulted in the Rangers trying a five-forward power play at one point this season.

*

Artemi Panarin has decided to change agents, opting for the same agent as Sergei Bobrovsky. Panarin has also decided that he would like to become a free agent this summer, regardless of whether a team trades for him at the deadline. The only prediction I’ll make when it comes to Panarin is that he’ll be playing for a different team next season. Seems like a safe bet, doesn’t it?

*

We’ve covered the trials and tribulations of Patrik Laine’s lack of goal scoring recently (more on Laine in the most recent Frozen Tools Forensics). Laine’s season total of 25 goals is about what we would expect as a whole, but his recent slump of just two goals in his last 22 games (dating back to mid-December) seems especially concerning. Yet he’s hardly the only scorer owned in most fantasy leagues that is having trouble turning on the red light. Here are three more forwards that are stuck in the same rut at the moment.

Mikael Granlund

Would you consider Granlund hot or cold at the moment? If you value assists, you’d consider him hot, as he has five of those in the last five games. Bruce Boudreau doesn’t seem to care, though, as he identified Granlund as ice cold with two goals in his past 37 games. During Granlund’s breakout two seasons ago, I suspected that he had experienced some good luck in the shooting percentage department with a near-15 percent shooting accuracy. This season Granlund is shooting more in line with career average of 10 percent while his current goal total (12) puts him on pace to finish under 20 goals for the first time in three seasons.

Don’t panic if you’re in a roto league, though. For starters, Granlund may experience better puck luck soon. In addition, both his 32 assists and 15 power-play points lead the Wild, and his current shot total (124) puts him on pace to finish with around the same number of shots he took over the previous two seasons. This is a case of a coach expressing frustration over his team’s inability to rise above the pack of teams that are drifting aimlessly around the wild-card spots in the Western Conference. Besides, Granlund’s career assist total is over double his career goal total. Hopefully you understood that ratio when you drafted him.

If you’re wondering about how Mikko Koivu’s season-ending injury might affect Granlund, 34 percent of Granlund’s even-strength icetime has been spent with Koivu. Yet only 18 percent of Granlund’s even-strength points have been with Koivu on the ice. Eric Staal has been Granlund’s preferred center this season, so Granlund’s production shouldn’t be impacted much by Koivu’s absence unless Staal is moved onto another line. Unless the Wild suddenly plummet in the standings and thus decide to become sellers, I can’t see a scenario where Staal is traded.

Bo Horvat

Like Granlund, Horvat is a widely owned fantasy forward mired in a goal-scoring slump. The Canucks’ two-way center has hit the twine just once in his last 17 games. Injuries to Jay Beagle and Brandon Sutter have thrust Horvat into defensive roles at times this season. For a player who is expected to take on a significant role in the Canucks’ scoring attack, Horvat’s offensive zone starts (40.6%) seem quite low. In fact, the Canucks lean on Horvat so much that he leads the entire NHL in both faceoffs and faceoffs won.

Horvat’s season shooting percentage (11.1%) isn’t far off from his career percentage, but he has been taking more shots over the last ten games (3.8 per game) than he has over the first half of the season (2.76 per game). Both Sutter and Beagle are back in the lineup, so Horvat can assume a role on the second line again, since we can safely assume that Elias Pettersson is the Canucks’ first-line center. That might mean the likes of Antoine Roussel and Jake Virtanen are his regular wingers, but it could be worse if you consider the Canucks’ massive stockpile of bottom-6 forwards. It’s best to be patient with Horvat, but perhaps limit your expectations fantasy-wise.

Tyler Johnson

Here’s a player who hasn’t recorded a point in eight games (let alone a goal) and has a shooting percentage that is several points higher than his career average. How did that happen? Johnson scored 18 goals over his first 38 games, but he has not been able to score a goal over his last 14 games. His lack of goal scoring recently can be attributed to a lack of shots – just 14 shots over his last 11 games.

If the last paragraph painted a bleak picture, then this paragraph will predict a more positive outlook. Johnson has recently been lining up with Nikita Kucherov and Brayden Point, both of whom occupy spots in the top 10 of NHL scoring. Johnson has logged 52 percent of his even-strength minutes and 60 percent of his even-strength point totals with this duo, while the Kucherov/Point duo has been more productive even-strength with Johnson on their line than without. So I’d expect Johnson to stay there, which should mean that he’ll break out of his goal-scoring slump sooner rather than later.

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By the way, you can check out hot and cold players at Frozen Tools, under the Recent Trends menu. It’s just one of many tools over there.

*

For more fantasy hockey information, you can follow me on Twitter @Ian_Gooding.

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-rangershurricanes-slumping-goal-scorers-feb-9/

[itsjayyyy]

September 18, 2018 4:53 pm

wow since it’s been a few days since an update, I had a lot of things to open this entry with, but of course only one topic can be the first i talk about. so, the most recent one: I was just laying in bed thinking about how I need to study for my bio exam tomorrow and also complete the next two modules for econ, but then I realized it’s tuesday and econ hw is due monday nights, and freaked out. I literally went through all five stages of grief, before I was like “it’s okay, it’s only the homework, the exam will pull my grade up” and opened my laptop to start reading for bio. but then I checked econ and apparently because there’s an exam this week, there wasn’t any homework due so HOLLA.

so this past weekend has been annoying, as always. I was at ioa for friday, but we only had three workers total (we normally have 6) for closing, so it was hell trying to close on time. and then saturday I went to usf, which is always hell. not to mention, hhn started so we had to spend an hour cleaning so the night crew would be set. and at the end of my shift, the usf manager has the nerve to say to me that she wants me to pick up some shifts this week. I tell her that I have four exams, and I’ll have to check my schedule, but she says “oh but your availability says you’re free after 4 on tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays” what the fuck!!!!!! don’t go looking at my availability when I��m not your employee!!!!!!! so I kept saying I had to study, I had to see, two of my exams are online, etc and she kept pushing for me to at least take shifts on friday afternoon and saturday, since I should be done with exams by then. I took the saturday shift because by this point my shift ended a minute ago and I wanted to leave, and told her I’d call her to let her know if I can take friday (I won’t.) SO SUNDAY I walk in to ioa (home sweet home), and we have a new coworker!!! And by new I mean he used to work at usf but transferred here permanently. What. “Oh jay we send you to usf because they’re understaffed and we’re overstaffed.” Okay. So I tell my manager that they’re stupid for accepting MORE workers when we have that issue, and she has the audacity to say to my face “oh it’s more than that, he didn’t like it at usf” as if I haven’t spent the last two months telling both ioa and usf managers that I hate usf. Okay. So Sunday, when I next work at ioa, I’m going to speak to my highest manager and tell her that she either tells the scheduler that I am not to work at usf again, or I quit. I have enough money in my savings account to last me a while.

wow. rose deadass drank 6 apple juice boxes out of the 8-pack we had. this bitch clearly doesn’t care if I starve huh.

so yesterday I met up with heather after class in the student union. did I mention how much I love cafe bustelo? I really love it. a good cafe con leche really warms me up. we talked for a while, then I walked her to class. In our conversation, our birthdays came up at some point (I think I said something along the lines of “you didn’t get me anything for my birthday this year! and she said “you didn’t get me anything either!”) and I was like “I bet you don’t even know my birthday” and she said april 22nd. and then later she was like yea well I bet you don’t know mine and i immediately said march 19, so she said she’d buy me starbucks today to make up for it.

today’s morning was really gr8 and also really un-gr8. like, I woke up at 7 thinking I had to leave the house at 8:30 for my ortho appt, and laid in bed for a while before finally getting up and showering. but when I stepped out of the shower and saw the time was 8, I realized that I didn’t leave the house at 8:30, my appointment was at 8:30. cue getting dressed while still partially damp, forgetting heather’s gov’t textbook, and going 75 in a 45 zone. I thank the gods daily that motorcycles don’t get red light tickets.

while driving down the main road leading to my university, I had this white car weaving between traffic. at one point he was behind me, but then when I slowed down in a turn he switched to the right, which ended up being right behind a campus shuttle (you know, the ones that drive 5 mph under the speed limit at all times and you can barely see around. and they’re diesel, ugh!). as he saw me speed up at the end of the curve, he switched back to behind me and sped up too, but as soon as I reached level with the front of the shuttle (and the pickup on the other side of me), I slammed on my brakes so he couldn’t try to go around. Definitely risked getting run the fuck over, but it was so worth it seeing the look of frustration on his face.

I got nearly instant karma, though, because he entered the university through the first turn, when I went for the second a little ways up since it’s closer to my garage. but the traffic light was down, so I had to merge into one lane with everyone else, and then they wouldn’t even allow left turns because it’s too complex for the person directing traffic, so I had to make a right then a u-turn. But it was made up for by the fact that the trike that normally parks in my spot was probably also deterred by the traffic, and I got to claim my righteous spot.

so when I got on campus, I went to heather’s class, or rather, the building it was in since I couldn’t find room 106 exactly. I remembered that my annoying coworker said that her classes were in that building + the one next to it also on tuesdays, but I thought that there was no way I’d actually bump into her considering there are over 60,000 students and the buildings are pretty large, plus I didn’t know what time her classes are.

well, now I know that her class gets out at the same time + same building as heather. we walked towards the starbucks (which is near her next class), and I introduced her to heather, we talked about how it was to work at universal, the sort. and then she was like “well I gotta go to class now, bye!” and i was like bye and smiled and when she was more than 20 feet away I turned to heather and said “that’s the coworker I told you that I hate.”

I love pumpkin spice season!!!!!!!! got a frappuccino tho, because it’s never truly fall in florida. heather got a mango dragonfruit refresher bc I recommended it to her, and it’s funny because the person ordering before us was also named heather and also ordered a mango dragonfruit. As a barista, that’s like my worst nightmare. Luckily they were able to tell it apart because the other heather got a grande. We sat in the starbucks for a while, I explained how weed is a lot more safe than cigarettes, talked about pine hills’ reputation, and how samantha’s mom is so damn disrespectful. This woman drove heather home one day when picking up samantha, and the whole ride was bragging about how samantha was going to be so successful because she’s majoring in some type of psychology and will be making over 90k a year. and then she turned the conversation to how teachers don’t make that much money, and she asks heather how she could do that, just take such a low-paying job. and lemme tell ya how MY GIRL HEATHER FUCKIN SNAPPED. she done said she tired of people saying teachers don’t make a lot of money yall. she said to samantha’s mom, “I don’t know how you’re looking down on my salary when you have three children from three different men with only a salary of $30k.” Y’ALL. the point that heather was trying to make the point that “people from working-class families act as if a salary less than 100k is unacceptable even for an unmarried, childless young adult despite working class families often having a household income of 50k while supporting children just fine,” but damn she really went there. goin off on this good catholic woman for having baby daddies. well samantha’s mom and samantha became very upset. and they told heather’s dad who would not leave her alone until she apologized. as in, he was banging on her door telling her she had to apologize. I said put headphones in and ignore it, she was like “girl you don’t understand haitian parents. my dad literally opened my door with a knife when I locked it.” so she had to apologize :/ but she also made it clear that she didn’t like the way samantha’s mom disrespected her. she tried to make it seem relatable, and be like, “oh what if i said that to your mom, wouldn’t you tell me to apologize” and I’m like???? no???? I would make my mom apologize for being disrespectful first the hell??? then I reminded her about how I literally lived on the streets for 3 weeks because my mom was disrespectful to me.

today after class I decided to take the city bus home, for 4 reasons: I wanted to stay humble and remember where I came from, I wanted time to be able to finish this book, not walking the last half-mile home every day this semester has caused some weight gain, and I really wanted to hold my parking spot against that damn trike, and it seems he comes too early in the morning for me, so I just left my bike there overnight. yea I’m petty.

The book was really good. It’s definitely a hard read, for sure. In the sense that it really will make you cry. At the end, it listed all of the school shooting victims since columbine, plus a small snippet about them (it was like 20 pages long). The one that really got me was an 8 year old, whose text read “shoot me first,” as he wanted to take a bullet so it wouldn’t be used against his classmates. Then, below that entry, a seven year old, who said “shoot me next.” Just typing that is making my eyes water again.

The walk home was super tiring. I’m super out of shape, it was hard for me to even imagine that I did this every single day the entire first semester of college. And I have to do it tomorrow morning again, ugh. Can you believe heather wakes up at 5:30 am???? I’m never seen out of bed before 7, and even then it’s only for things like appointments. But I guess I really should start waking up earlier, because whenever I get on campus around 8 I feel great because I have so much time to study and stuff. but that means I have to buy a coffee on campus, and I don’t know if I want to commit to that expense.

edit: so I originally posted this to my main, and when I saw that I copied it, then deleted it, then tried to paste it into a new post, but I guess I didn’t press ctrl hard enough because it didn’t copy. and I was about to cry bc this is close to 2k words, but then I realized I had a tab of my main open that still had the original post showing, so I copied from there.

[netunleashed-blog]

Heather Knight column: Learning to call in Hindi, World Cup stickers and Buckingham Palace

http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=28200 Heather Knight column: Learning to call in Hindi, World Cup stickers and Buckingham Palace - http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=28200 Kia Super League 2018Dates: 22 July - 27 AugustCoverage: Commentary on selected games on BBC Radio 5 live sports extra & BBC Local Radio, plus coverage on the BBC Sport websiteSuper Start to the Super LeagueThe third year of the Kia Super League kicked off last week, with a decent start from the Western Storm girls.It's great that the amount of games has doubled from last year and chatting to some of the other England girls, it really feels like the standard has gone up another level this year and not just from the international players.There have been some really good performances from some of the younger girls coming through and it's been great to see. Ellie Threlkeld at Lancashire Thunder was impressive last Friday, while Emma Lamb has bowled well up there and Sophia Dunkley at Surrey Stars has also performed well. Mandhana's first four innings for Western Storm were 48, 37, 52 not out and 43 not out - a strike rate of 206.89 runs per hundred ballsDown at Storm we've got quite a similar squad to last year but with a new overseas addition in India's Smriti Mandhana. Having never batted with Smriti before, I was in with her from the second ball of our first match against Yorkshire Diamonds.Mid-partnership, she told me she was struggling to call between the wickets in English, which as you can imagine may have been a slight issue, as my Hindi is pretty shady to say the least!So I asked her to teach me what 'yes' was in Hindi - 'Haan', apparently. Luckily it wasn't needed as she just kept whacking boundaries! Learning a new language out in the middle - one of the unique things about the KSL.We're on the road this week, fitting in Arundel, Old Trafford and Scarborough after hosting our first three games.We've really built a base and a following at our home venues of Taunton and Bristol, and come 2020 when the new competition starts, I really do hope we'll play some sort of domestic cricket there as the support for the women's game in the West Country has been brilliant.Before that though, we've got a competition to win. It's going to be a really tough ask to retain the title, but hopefully we can continue our good start and make it to Finals Day again.Coming home - with lessons for the Caribbean Katherine Brunt had a good summer with bat and ballLooking back on the international summer, it was a really positive one for us as a team.It was our first international cricket at home since that day at Lord's last summer and you could feel the support from the crowd. There were lots of outstanding individual performances, three series wins over South Africa and New Zealand, and a new T20 world record score to boot.The biggest win for me was our bowling. The standard of batting has gone to another level around the world and we challenged our bowlers to upskill, particularly on flat wickets. They were outstanding all summer, most notably our own Yin and Yang - the fierce and fiery Katherine Brunt and the slightly more studied Anya Shrubsole - leading the attack.If we're going to be successful this winter at the World Twenty20 in the Caribbean, our bowling unit is going to be key.There were also some areas we know we need to improve on as a side. In our past two one-day internationals against New Zealand, we weren't able to punch out big enough totals on dry, slow wickets. It's never a bad thing when it becomes clear how you need to develop and adapting to different wickets, with the different island venues in the Caribbean, is something we're also going to need to do well come the World T20.'I've never seen a dot ball cheered so loudly' The first ODI against New Zealand at Headingley coincided with England's World Cup quarter-final win over SwedenThere were obviously some other important games for an England side going on out in Russia while our games were taking place - and we were definitely caught up in World Cup fever.Myself, Sarah Taylor and Danni Wyatt decided to relive our childhoods and get the World Cup sticker book going. Wyatt was definitely the most successful, purely by getting loads of free stickers from her social media following! Luckily she gave me her cast-offs.It also was slightly surreal playing our ODI against New Zealand at Headingley while the England v Sweden quarter-final was going on.Luckily the people of Yorkshire were particularly good at multi-tasking and managed to half-watch our game and half-watch the football. It was pretty obvious when the goals went in - I've never seen a dot ball cheered so loudly!A trip to the Palace and a spot of tennis Knight was appointed OBE in the New Year Honours, following England's World Cup success at Lord's last summerIn between the internationals, I headed to Buckingham Palace with my family to collect an OBE from Prince Charles. It was a very lovely day and - at times - very surreal!The loos gave me a little bit of a shock when I headed to the ladies, not your everyday toilets!It was a nice day to share with my mum, dad and brother as they've been such a massive part of getting me to where I am now. The toilets at Buckingham Palace are much smarter than those at your average cricket groundI was also lucky enough to head to Wimbledon. I was there for the first day of the tournament, which fortunately fell in the middle of our tour on one of our days off before the New Zealand series.Obviously tennis can only ever claim to be the second-best summer sport - it's obvious that cricket takes number one - but it was lovely to visit such a beautiful venue. I'm also hoping that the Super League schedule leaves enough time for me to get to the Hockey World Cup at some point over the next week.I'm keeping everything crossed for the England team. It would be amazing if they could get their hands on their World Cup as well - they deserve it. Source link