#the plot was decent and the characters were bland but the graphics was amazing

[lord-rain-master]

just got home from watching nag ashwin's kalki 2898 ad and the only thing i have to say is that prabhas has never been this hot to me omg

AND i need to know how they made amitabh bachchan 8 ft tall PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW

[nightcoremoon]

spiderman 3 wasn’t bad because of bully maguire

spiderman 3 was bad because it was a chopped up incoherent mess of conflicting ideas, tones, GENRES.

TW rape mention. yes, really.

sandman and harry would have been good. sandman and venom would have been good. harry and venom would have been good. and all three at once could even have been done satisfactorily. but together it was a horrible disaster. none of them had their time to shine. flint was a magnificent way to tie into the first movie. harry was a magnificent way to end his character arc. topher grace, much as I love him, was horribly miscast for eddie brock. venom, fine, but not eddie. tom hardy played both well. but I think hardy is a much stronger actor than grace. one played charley fucking bronson and the other played eric fucking foreman. y’all gotta know your reaches! but anyway it’s fine I guess. it made for a decent viewing in no way home (which I have my own laundry list of gripes about). but even then, that’s not the biggest problem with the movie. and no, the emo peter wasn’t a problem either (it actually makes perfect sense for his character; it’s what peter himself thinks is cool, not what actually is cool). and NO it wasn’t wasting dr connors not once not thrice but TWICE.

the SECOND biggest problem is with the editing.

ok so individual scenes look passable to… beautiful. the introduction of sandman is obviously the highlight of the film. it was a very important pioneer for graphics design technology, and in my mind it’s probably the single most important thing in the history of making cgi look true to life (for all of its glory… and all of its horror). all of the fight scenes are well choreographed, visually stunning, and advanced the plot somehow. all of the character defining scenes were well done save for one character in particular who I will discuss momentarily. the scenes are good in their own rights. but they’re out of order. peter dancing in the street looking like dahvie vanity was not supposed to happen after supposedly killing uncle ben’s murderer, it was SUPPOSED to happen after getting the job over brock. and everything else was nonsensically crammed together like tetris sardines. it RUINED the pacing. there is a 40 minute period where venom does not appear or speak, and he is supposed to be the main villain of the movie. that’s the second biggest problem.

the biggest problem is Mary Jane.

Kirsten Dunst did as good a job as she could with the material she was given. but what is her character arc in each movie? be the love interest who needs to be saved from everything all the time. that’s it. the green goblin is attacking and MJ is in danger, Peter rescues her and she gets a crush on him. those rape dudes are attacking (told you) and MJ is in danger, Peter rescues her. they kiss. oh no the green goblin is attacking AGAIN, MJ is in danger AGAIN and Peter rescues her AGAIN and she falls in love with him. and so on. all she exists to do in these movies is get kidnapped and make peter’s spider dick hard. it is such a damn shame that those movies happened before the feminists really pushed to have women with agency in films and books and video games and stuff. remind me what aunt may did in these movies again? or gwen, or betty, or… anyone who was female? contrast with the amazing spidermans and the mcu spidermans. AND SPIDERVERSE. totally different beast there.

MJ’s character is unlikable, peter’s character does shitty things that make him temporarily unlikable, and their dynamic together is very… bland. you could cut MJ from 2 and 3 very easily and still potentially have a cohesive movie. raimi has strengths and he has weaknesses and his weakness is ingrained subconscious misogyny. oops. we expected better from the man whose claim to fame was a movie where a tree rapes a woman? 🤔 yeahhhh I don’t like evil dead 1. 2 and 3, good and phenomenal, but 1 is like. :/

so it’s nothing to do with the easy answers and it’s everything to do with the director is a little weird and Sony has never made a good business decision in its life.

[otomequeen]

Get To Know The Game: Bad Boys Do It Better

Released: July 8, 2016 Company: Otome Romance (Voltage Inc) Opening: YouTube Download: Apple Store - Google Play - Amazon Store

Overview

So the plot is rather simple and easy to follow. Your family moves away but you stay behind. You move into a dorm, which surprise, is full of all boys. Who happen to all be your class, in another surprise, an all boys school. You are now the only girl in an all boy school. That’s basically it. You are adjusting being in a new school, living in a dorm, being separated from your family, and all that good stuff.

Note: I have previously made a post about this. It has since been deleted. This is an updated version of that post.

Aesthetics

I would say bold. There is only a few games that got released before this title that I would consider bold and vibrant. These colors are bright, and neon. The textures are amazing. And that’s just with the chapter cards, the characters are equally as bold and vibrant. Multi color hair, tattoos, piercings. It definitely stands out compared to previous entries.

Operating System

Now I was really happy with what Voltage (Otome Romance) did with this game. The first thing I want to touch upon is the special choice system. Instead of giving you three options to pick from, a heart will spin on your screen and you can either ‘go for it’ or ‘pull back.’ And as of right now, as far as I’m aware, this is the only title to get this feature from them. And I don’t know if that’s because it didn’t sit well with fans or what. But I loved this change of pace. It not only gives me an option that can sway my love meter, but I don’t know what’s going to be said. Sometimes after you play games for a while you kinda know what they are going to say in response to your choices. But if I don’t know what I’m going to say, I have no idea what is going to happen next. I can have a vague idea, but it’s a refreshing surprising that I felt I needed. 

Now I will say that since this title got moved to Love 365 instead of being a stand alone app this function is still within the game. But the heart no longer has English text. Maybe it’s just a glitch, or on certain routes/chapters. I haven’t fully completed everything to test that out. I’m super happy they kept it, but if you were going for a certain choice it makes it a little harder unless you read Japanese. 

The second thing I wanted to talk about was the text box. While it’s fairly standard just to have a square box at the bottom of the screen, usually in a pastel color that goes with the theme of the game that you can change the opacity of. Bad boys keeping with this bold aesthetic made it feel like I was reading a manga or comic book. There is a small extension from the box that points in the direction of the person who is talking. If there is more than one sprite on screen, the extension moves accordingly. 

And much do my dismay, this function didn’t translate with the merge to love 365. I can understand that they can’t have a mega app with small variances between all the titles and still have space to add more things. But it took a small part of the game away. It added to the experience and now instead of being it’s own entity, it’s slowly becoming just another title.

Endings

So this title has a love meter system. Which isn’t new to this game, nor is the idea of leading to two different types of endings that isn’t labeled good and happy. But I like how they labeled it for this game. I didn’t know what I was expecting initially, but I liked them. 

Additional Thoughts

So I thought that the plot was meh and the mc was also meh. Nothing really stands out about this plot line. You see it all the time in animes, and I get that its hard to make it different to stand out. But the more I played the game I started to think they choose this kind of plot to tinker with the OS and try new things rather than putting out a game with a lot of content. Because as of right now the game has a main story and epilogue for 6 characters, and then 5 or 6 sub stories. That’s it. And it’s not like they have a screen that says ‘sequel coming soon’ it straight up ends after the epilogue. Which I appreciate, I don’t know how you could keep this kind of plot going for more stories without it being super predictable. So for this kind of plot the mc fits perfectly. High school student that doesn’t really know love. All the typical mc behaviors that annoy a lot of people in different games. 

I am kind of sad they never made another character datable. I did a previous review of this game where I mentioned two characters you can’t date. But since then they have released one of those characters. So now I’m just waiting for the other one to get their own route. I think there could be a lot of fun things that can happen. I get the vibe it could be like Joh from Dreamy Days in West Tokyo kind of situation. But still. I want it.

Takeaway

I feel like this is a decent game. I’m glad that I purchased routes in it. It’s very cute. I don’t know if I will say people should play this as their first game. Since it’s very bland I guess. But I think it’s a game to purchase to play when you are waiting for another game, or taking a break. It’s a good way to pass the time. Not in the sense of ‘am I eating because I’m board?’ But between the OS, which I think is my favorite of all the games, and pretty graphics it’s a good change of pace. 

You also don’t have to worry about spending too much money on the game, since there isn’t a lot of content to buy. And there are no plans for future released, so you don’t have to worry about that. It’s a one and done kind of deal. You can fully own 100% of this game without breaking the bank. 

[thedogsled]

Do you ever just read Christmas movie titles and think how much better the films would be/how much more fun they’d instantly be if they were queer stories? I do. It’s my hobby. In fact it’s probably the only thing that gets me through the holiday period. Christmas films are typically terrible anyway and they’ve made so much trash now that UK freeview has a whole channel that just plays trashy Xmas films round and round, so why not examine this phenomenon with some examples, and share the dubious fun and inspiration of my holiday habit. (Quality of original movies is not under interrogation, mind, and some of these actually sound like fics I’ve read, but I’ll get back to that in a minute...)

Here goes. Imagine your OTP, I guess?

A cynical TV executive accidentally knocks herself out while railing against the disappointments of her life. She wakes up to find herself in another world, where she is married to another woman and they have two children. As she comes to realise she is not dreaming, she must decide which life she wants to live.

This next one is the plot of Bride Wars but I beg you to imagine it rewritten as a crossfandom story with your two OTPs please. The Rainbow Wedding Show Down. Anything you can imagine would be miles better than this movie anyway.

Two lifelong best friends discover their weddings have been scheduled on the same day and at the same venue. Neither is prepared to back down, so a bitter rivalry ensues as years of friendship are cast aside in the struggle to sabotage each other's big day.

I haven’t seen this one, and it’s got Shatner in it, so the version in my imagination is already much better. Also it’s the 6000th retelling of a Christmas Carol to nobody’s surprise ever. WHY? I just imagine the Hallmark execs sitting their writers down and saying “Right, we need at least ten new Christmas Carol based movies this year, we need unique new suggestions, but don’t say ‘except that she has a girlfriend’ or you’re insta-fired.”

A professor is torn between staying in her hometown and marrying the woman she loves or travelling across the country to pursue her dream job. One night, a mysterious coachman offers her a chance to travel three years into the future to see how her decision pans out. 

I am 100% sure I’ve read the fic. If not, someone should write it for me anyway.

A New York teacher prepares to bring his new boyfriend, a diplomat from a small European nation, home to meet his parents at Christmas. However, he gets a shock when he learns that said boyfriend is secretly the heir to his country's throne - and his parents do not approve of their relationship.

Oh my god the fluff /suffocates underneath the cotton softness of this prompt. I’d imagine my OTP, but, you know, one of them is afraid of flying...

A single father invites a flight attendant to spend Christmas with him and his daughter after he misses his connection.

*pteradactylBisexual screeching noises* Or maybe this is a polyamory story WE JUST DON’T KNOW.

A woman is thrilled after her boyfriend invites her to his family's lake house for Christmas, but is disappointed when he spends all his time working. She befriends his assistant, but is unaware that she is secretly in love with her until a twist of fate leaves them alone together.

The heterosexualness is genuinely killing me by this point, I’m suffering for all of you. Also I’m changing the gender of this one because all the romance stories are about sad lonely white women. Gee, better wish for a man to come and save you from your miserable empty lives, ladies! HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

A man loses his job, his flat and his boyfriend just before Christmas - all thanks to his mischievous pet dog. A co-worker invites him to come and spend the holiday with him on his farm, and the experience leaves him torn between pursuing a new life in the country or trying to rebuild his old city life. 

If you read the next one without heteronormativity goggles on it’s already gay. This one could go so many ways. In the straight version I imagine the boss is a harpy and the designer destroys his existing relationship... /Googles for a second. Oh wait, I’ve seen this one. Yes. That is what happens, to absolutely nobody’s surprise. Nothing’s more Christmassy than this bitch, amirite? It would make an amazing polyamory story, I really wish that was what I’d watched instead.

An aspiring designer impulsively kisses a man she meets in a lift, only to discover he is her boss's boyfriend. She is given the task of decorating his house for a lavish Christmas party, but begins to fall in love with him - while he does not remember their previous encounter.

The next one leaves me in a weird position because I’ve watched the “queer” version already /bitter noises about 2007. The only difference is that this one is actually a romance, because presumably the two of them slowly realize that they do love each other, and that, my friends, is one of my favorite fanfic tropes ever, so...

Sparks fly between a graphic designer and his male counterpart when they agree to a loveless marriage of convenience to help each other out. 

Next. I’m just saying if you complicate this plot a little bit with Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell it becomes a heartbreaking story of discovery and community coming together instead of just another bland romance with a 6.1 on IMDB.

A war widow and an injured soldier join forces to save the town's military museum with a Christmas fundraiser.

I could go on. This is just two days of programming, mostly on the aforementioned 24 hour Christmas channel. Girl meets boy in suffocating heterosexual repeat. But you know what? As a reader and a writer of fanfiction, it just makes me feel so lucky to be in this community where these stories DO exist, where I can click a button and read a story about a grumpy police detective who bonds with his male partner when they get trapped in a lift together on Christmas day. Cause they ain’t gonna put it on TV.

The severe lack of anything warm wholehearted and queer for any holiday makes me angry, nvm the fact that in these stories only white women experience romance, they’re only ever romanced by white guys, and having a decent job means you’re doomed to loneliness forever. So while you can tear my hideously tropey smushy hurt comfort fanfic from my cold dead hands, at least I have “And there was only one bed” to retreat back to. In the greater scheme of things, tis the season to stab Straight White Christmas in the eye for marginalizing everybody else as well HOHOHO ASSHOLES. 

P.S. Fuck you, NBC, for suggesting that Holiday in Handcuffs is a gay movie because it has a gay side character, and fuck you Hallmark Publishing, who a year ago said same sex relationships are fine, and they’d be up for making movies about the content they published, but to this day only straight (white) books have been put on the market. Nice. Well guess what, I have a greetings card for you:

[the-desolated-quill]

A Brief Word About Spider-Man: Homecoming - Quill’s Scribbles

So Spider-Man: Homecoming has been released in cinemas today here in the UK (I believe it’ll be released in the US on the 7th July). I really should be excited, but I’m not. I’m really not. For starters I’m still very much emotionally attached to the Amazing movies. I’ve made it no secret how much I prefer them to the Sam Raimi trilogy. They’re just better movies. I felt that the Amazing series had a lot of potential going forward and I absolutely adored Andrew Garfield in the role. He is Spider-Man. He understood and embodied the character perfectly, and it’s very hard to say goodbye to him. Especially because we’re saying goodbye to him for the stupidest of reasons.

We all know that The Amazing Spider-Man 2 ‘under-performed’ at the box office. I say ‘under-performed’ in inverted commas because rumour has it that Sony wanted the movie to make a billion dollars at the box office, which is… overambitious to say the least. I mean Spider-Man is a very profitable franchise. Sony’s most profitable franchise to be exact, hence why they’re so reluctant to part company with him, but a billion dollars? I think the only superhero that has ever managed to make over a billion dollars in a solo movie was Batman. And that’s only because Christopher Nolan had generated a lot of positive buzz and good will over the years. Sony, not so much.

The other reason is that apparently Andrew Garfield didn’t show up at a Sony press conference or something and was sacked on the spot, which is beyond petty and completely nuts. I mean talk about shooting yourself in the foot.

So now we’re getting yet another Spider-Man reboot. We’re back in high school and it appears we’re going to be staying in high school for quite a long time as Kevin Feige has said that they want to follow the Harry Potter formula of each movie representing a new school year. To me that just feels like a massive step backwards and that they’re just keeping the character frozen in amber for no reason other than sheer convenience, but that’s just my opinion (and that’s important to bear in mind as you read this. This is all just my opinion. If you’re excited about this movie, good for you. I’m glad somebody is). But Spidey is in the MCU now. That’s exciting, right?

Um… not really if I’m honest.

Here’s the thing. I’ll be excited about Spider-Man joining the MCU if it leads to something good. Right now I have my doubts. As much as I enjoyed Captain America: Civil War and thought Tom Holland did a decent job in the role, the way Spidey is introduced into the continuity was incredibly clunky and not thought through very well because it opens up a ton of awkward questions and plot holes and logic errors (most of which involving the Defenders and why they never seem to get a mention in these bloody films). And of course there’s the whole confusion as to whether or not this upcoming Venom movie is part of the MCU or not, with Sony and Marvel constantly flipping-flopping, which suggests to me that they’re not planning ahead and aren’t discussing things very effectively. How can you expect this Spider-Man reboot to be any good if the two companies involved can’t reach an agreement as to how this franchise is actually going to work? If the foundations aren’t solid, how are you supposed to build anything on top of it?

Now I’m sure people must think that I’m Mr. Grumpy-Tits who will just moan and complain about any little thing that Marvel does. And it’s true that I have been very critical of the MCU in recent years. But the truth is, and I know some of you will find this hard to believe, I don’t go into a Marvel movie wanting to hate it. I didn’t go to see Ant-Man or Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 wanting them to be shit so I could moan about them later. I may have some concerns prior to watching a movie, but I always try to go in with the hope that it’ll be good. And sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised. A good example is Captain America: Civil War. I hated the trailers and marketing for it, but when I watched it, it completely blew me away. I loved it. Sure it had some problems, but it was an intelligent and engrossing movie for the most part. I had the same experience with The Amazing Spider-Man. Hated the trailers, but loved the movie. Of course it also works the other way around. I loved the trailers for Suicide Squad, but the movie itself was a pile of shit.

The trailers and marketing for Spider-Man: Homecoming aren’t exactly filling me with confidence. It looks like a very bland coming of age story. Vulture looks kind of rubbish (plus Marvel don’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to movie villains). They seem to be relying on Iron Man a bit too much. In fact is Iron Man really the most appropriate mentor for Spidey considering the way he manipulated him in Civil War? And doesn’t that sort of take away from Spidey’s story? Isn’t the whole point of it supposed to be that he’s an everyman who has to figure this shit out for himself? Now he gets his suit and gadgets just handed to him on a silver platter by a playboy billionaire. And why does his suit have an AI? Doesn’t his spider-sense make that redundant? In fact does he even have a spider-sense? I don’t think he did in Civil War considering the number of times he gets punched in the face. Plus at first glance they seem to be borrowing wholesale from Miles Morales. Taking story elements from the black character to prop up the white fave. That’s a bit dodgy to say the least. The comedy feels very awkward. The poster looks terrible. I mean look at it:

The latest line about that is apparently it’s supposed to look amateurish to reflect the high school setting.

First of all, on behalf of all art and graphic design students everywhere, fuck you. And second, a deliberately bad poster is still a bad poster. The fact that it’s deliberate doesn’t automatically make it good. And wait a minute. Were they all watching Captain America on the TV? Isn’t he supposed to be a criminal? Isn’t that like watching a fitness video presented by OJ Simpson?

See, it’s just little things that keep building up and building up until eventually my anticipation has kind of evaporated. But hey. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this will be another Captain America: Civil War. Bad trailers, but a great movie… or maybe it will be a pile of crap… or maybe it’ll be as bland, mediocre and forgettable as I suspect it probably will be. Who knows? The only way to find out is to watch it. The burden is now on the movie to prove it’s worth my £12 for a movie ticket. 

Because, you know, I have to pay money to watch these films. It’s not cheap. I could use that £12 to buy something else. Like pizza or a sense of self worth.

[the-power-button]

Assassin’s Creed Unity

“Next Gen Starts Here.” This was the tagline Ubisoft Montreal used to hype up Assassin’s Creed Unity, way back in the summer of 2014. It was a bold statement to be sure, but with the game looking amazing in both promotional screenshots and gameplay trailers alike, it was one it looked to be able to uphold. 

On launch, however, Unity was a complete disaster. Frame-rate issues, visual glitches, gameplay bugs, and even hard crashes made the game almost unplayable for many fans. I played the game at launch, and was less than impressed, to put it politely. But now, after 3 years and several gigabytes worth of patches, I decided to give it another look. Was Unity really as bad as we remember? Or did a combination of over-hype and a troubled launch blind us to what is actually a decent game deep down?

GRAPHICS

First off, it’s impossible to discuss Assassin’s Creed Unity without fawning over the gorgeous visuals. It was one aspect of the game that drew universal praise on launch, and even three years later Unity outshines many new releases on that front. Thick volumetric fog fills the streets of Paris, absorbing and scattering light realistically. Global illumination is used to bounce light off of surfaces, which combined with precalculated ambient occlusion results in some staggeringly realistic indirect lighting. Sub-surface scattering is used on characters during custcenes to mimic blood under the skin, and don’t even get me started on Elise’s hair! Frame-rate, however, is a different story. I own the game on PS4, and Unity targets 30fps at 900p on that platform. In sparse areas with few NPCs, the game sticks to 30fps fairly consistently. However, in more complicated city centers with dozens of NPCs on screen at once, the game tanks. It is not nearly as bad as it was at launch, but it is still a definite issue. 

GAMEPLAY

It was difficult to evaluate Unity’s gameplay at launch, because frankly most of it didn’t work. Combat was sluggish, parkour was unresponsive, and many side missions were glitched. One time I even had an enemy give up halfway through a kill animation and just walk out of combat! Many of these bugs have been fixed, but some persist. (Some of you will be happy to know that the infamous “corner kill exploit” has never been patched). However, as a whole Unity is a functional and playable game now, and it’s actually quite enjoyable. While the free-running can still be a little laggy sometimes, it is quite satisfying to watch Arno twirl. spin, and flip his way across Revolutionary Paris. Combat feels more responsive and accurate than it did at launch, and while it’s still easy once you’ve acquired the highest level gear, nailing perfect parries and rolling out of the way of gunfire is fun and rewarding. The stealth is much improved as well. Although the series’ distinctive “social stealth” takes a general backseat in favor of more traditional cover-based stealth, all of the mechanics are at least functional. The enemy AI is, for the most part, passably intelligent and reasonably fun to toy with, excluding persistent bugs of course, and tools like smoke bombs and cherry bombs definitely come in handy if you choose to go this route. The game world in which this all takes place is massive, filled mostly with collectibles but also containing a reasonable amount of side quests. The Murder Mysteries are a definite highlight, but the co-op missions are fun as well, especially if you have a friend to play them with and you enjoy learning about the history of the French Revolution.

STORY AND CHARACTERS

This is where Unity arguably falls flat. Arno starts off witty and relatable, but by the end of the first act this all disappears, leaving behind a bland shell of a character defined only by his obsessive devotion to Elise and nothing else. The plot is a predictable mix-and-match of common cliches, and the ending “plot twist” was so telegraphed that it honestly would be more surprising if it hadn’t happened. There were still some moments that shined through; the hot-air balloon mission had some good quips, and the ending cutscene gives a good take on the old “nothing is true, everything is permitted” motto, but especially after the previous year’s Black Flag, Unity’s writing simply doesn’t hold a candle.

CONCLUSION

You may like this game if:

- You don’t mind moderate to major bugs and glitches

- You enjoy history and the French Revolution

- You are a fan of the Assassin’s Creed series

- You enjoy open-world games with lots of collectibles

- You don’t mind a weak story and characters

You may not like this game if:

- You are sensitive to framerate drops

- You are bothered by moderate to major bugs and glitches

- You mostly play games for the story