#the photo isnt old but yknow what i mean

[littlewinnow]

I was looking through family baby photos and cant help but think that Narcissa would have an album of Draco in those cute baby photoshoots 😂😂😂

[zan0tix]

JAKE AND TRANSFEMININITY: PART 1

IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THIS im gona make a series of posts about jake because. Im crazy and i like writing (will also help me with writing my scripts bc im bad at doing that but im good at yapping on social media lol)

This first post will be about Grandpa Harley because yknow he was the foundation for Jakes text later.

(Take these with a grain of salt bc this is skaianet archive stuff) but Its stated over and over that HIC in both universes Despised Jake because he was a boy and saw him as an annoyance. (The reason he is even named Jake is because HIC just swapped a letter from Jane to make a male name) and this started a pattern of jake being waved off and disregarded.

Already day fucking one as a baby Jake isnt doing gender right😭 his name is a reminder that he isnt what people want him to be.

So he left home and sought off to find adventure at age 13. His shitty home-life already left him with a fraught relationship to his autonomy and control over his life (Again skaianet archives grab that Salt) But he gets groomed and taken advantage of by an older man. I believe this only further Jakes feelings of helplessness and desire to exert power over something.

Grandpa harley would then proceed to try so hard to embody the Old most admirable western masculine archetype to a T. The wealthy globe trotting adventurer/entrepreneur/inventor with female lovers galore and nothing tying him down! A mans man who isnt afraid to get his hands dirty, wrestle a few animals. Wield violence to exert power and control (hunting animals) I see this as his outlet to exert autonomy and establish an Identity for himself but its at the expense of innocent lives. But its how you are seen as successful and powerful living under patriarchy and imperial capitalism.

Though while being this stereotype of old timey masculinity, he has this fascination with a specific brand of femininity. A delicately composed vision, a photoshoot, a performance. Something unachievable.

Its something he brings everywhere he goes. The blue ladies photos and imagery litter both his Hauntswitch house and Jades island house juxtaposing all of his Trophies (taxidermied animals that he obtained through overtly violent masculine means) With his self titled “Beauties/Daughters of Eclectica” (IF THAT ISNT THE MOST OLD GAY MAN THING YOUVE EVER READ. BUT ANYWAY)

Hussie always describes it as “Haha old man jake is horny for blue ladies” but i think the fact he views them as aspirational figures, and holds them in such high regard, Telling Jade that She should aspire to be like them and maybe one day she could take a place amongst them in their elegance and beauty I believe was him projecting; where he believes he isnt able to emulate them because he is a man so he tells jade to instead. (then we see teen jake who is living in more progressive times with his blue lady equivalents and he Directly attempts to Emulate them)

I think theres something more happening here guys nerm..

A. Claire was a Ballerina, A performer of a very traditionally feminine art that is calculated, asking for pin point accuracy with your body as the instrument. The fact he was her “Biggest fan” I assume he went to see alot of her performances and greatly admired her for her beauty and performance skills.

Ive said it before but I dont think he was attracted to her sexually, I think he wished he could be what she was. Embody a finely tuned image of femininity he was barred from ever exploring, so he was drawn to women who could do what he couldnt. And i believe he conflated his gender envy with attraction (teen jake does this too really hard but well get there later) because they didnt have the terms for gender envy or anything back then. Jake grew up in the 1920s. I assume he believed his feelings were average hetero attraction and not something deeper.

I feel like its an elaborate gag that Jake made himself into a straight up Caricature of the burly gruff Adventurer Man. His houses are overflowing with hunting trophies and weaponry like hes over compensating Its insanely comical when you know Really on the inside hes a gay man with a great affection and identification with the effeminate and is actually really loud about it but everyone brushes it off as “Haha what a kooky old geezer!” OBVIOUSLY ALL OF THIS FUNNY. Homestuck is a tragicomedy, everything is simultaneously one huge elaborate gag but also offering commentary on what its pointing and laughing at, in this case its cisheteronormativity (thats the same for an ungodly amount of cases with this work)

I find it tragic, poetic, and endlessly hilarious that his final moments were spent Roleplaying Heterosexuality with a doll He dressed up and put makeup on; made with his image of femininity, and he dies by his own gun, the same kind of weapons that he used to exert violence upon innocent animals in attempt to posture his masculine persona. The ones he arrived to earth with, he was pushed and destined to embody this image of masculinity because of the world he was sent to and the connotations of violence instilled into those weapons by society and reality by Lord English; a being his alt universe self played a great part in shaping. Who too wields a Gun as one of his signature weapons.

Blows smoke off the red hot irony pistols! 😉

PART 2 WILL COME SOON (will add link when it does)

[crash-cinematic-universe]

your abed headcanons. hand them over 🤲

if you INSIST also im doing them on the spot because fuck you thats why

Abed Headcanons

first of all this isnt even a headcanon this is canon canon but abed FUCKS

also i get nb vibes from him

he has a crush on han solo because i said so

oh also he’s bi probably should lead with that

i think that batman to abed is what abed is to me. like ‘hey ur my role model and i want to BE you but at the same time? id smash’ yknow

i would imagine sometimes he’d spend time in the dreamatorium alone just imagining different movie scenarios and cliches with him and troy

also. fanfic tropes with him and troy

originally he wanted his friend group to be like the friends from. friends but he realized pretty soon that his friends were like 10000% better than the shitty friends friends

his music taste is fairly neutral except for no its not he listens to nirvana and mcr YES im projecting fuck off

this is more of a trobed headcanon but i think troy would sit in the sink while abed was in the shower so they could talk bc they didnt want to be apart for too long

whenever abed spends time apart from troy he listens to songs theyve sung together to make him feel closer

god this is going from abed to trobed real quick i have to get back on TRACK

abed. dislikes horror movies. 

he just thinks he could make better horror movies than the ones out there

abed greatly admires his friends for. being his friends

he was probably really afraid at first-- he probably thought they’d dump him because they thought he was weird or a loser or annoying

but then they DIDN’T

and suddenly abed had found his Favorite People In The Entire World

he likes inspector spacetime because 1) its everything he could ever ask for in a tv/movie series and 2) it reminds him that his friends will always be there when he needs them.

he has like 400 photos of JUST troy and then like 300 of everyone else in the group

idk i havent seen him sleep in the bunk bed but he gives me bottom bunk vibes

easier to run away if theres a fire or a robbery, but also easier access for serial killers if they break in

fair tradeoff

he’s LONELY on CHRISTMAS because of his MOM so he tries his HARDEST to replace his OLD FAMILY with his NEW FAMILY and he REALIZES that even if his mom ISN’T THERE that doesn’t mean he’ll be alone FOREVER

also he made the cootie catcher used in the intro sequence. idk why but he Did

this is all i can think of for now but. watch out because my thoughts about abed are endless

[jovishark]

What tags did you even look in to find antihomestar? I just found out about him like a day or two ago

i always like to go through the blogs that reblog my art and i stumbled upon reblogs from other people

i was old enough to read fanfiction by havoc-creations and interact with the authors during their other works and i promise im not just saying all of this because im sentimental and old, im saying that making fun of a ten year old fanfiction is kind of silly? like. we laugh at it still to this day because i think even the authors would agree that some of it is very 2010-esque and also not at all how theyd represent themselves now but. thats what fanworks Are

they represent who you were and your thought process at the time, and the way that things in your life effect your writing yknow? so comparing fanworks from literally ten years in the future directly waters down the impact that the old stuff used to have. opposites attract/oa 20x6 were very obviously a passion project from two friends who felt like writing together. there wasnt a ton of influence from people other than their niche fans. there were other homestar fanworks on like ffnet and da at the time but none of them were as Long or all-encompassing as oa, and none of them really explored the kind of fiction oa did. there was alternate universe travel, time travel, casino shenanigans, Murder, dinosaurs. i think strong bad definitely killed someone in self defense at least twice. dragons for sure. 

(the plot, because we arent willing to reupload the fic, is that homestar and strong bad steal alternate universe traveling equipment from homeschool winner and end up humanized in the real world. there was a fanfiction before this called real world runner, where homestar does the same thing and meets a person named alex and also the brothers chaps, and has to get back to the website before it falls apart without him. that branches into oa because alex’s apartment is the home base for all of the characters that come through to look for hr/sb to help save the website a second time. they have to navigate real world events in atlanta georgia while also having to figure out how to get back to their reality, and figure out feelings for each other along the way which of course they do. long story short universe travel is an ever moving target and they meet opposite versions of themselves. i mean Way opposite. antihomestar kills people, including the king of town, and i think antimarzipan eats puppies. antistrong bad wears oven mitts instead of boxing gloves. you get the picture. strong bad is caught between antihomestars edgy pushiness and homestars puppy dog eyes. at some point they go to the middle ages. its a whole mess and basically in trying to put everything back together they make a million more mistakes, and homeschool winner cant fix all of them. its my favorite work of all time)

what im trying to say is that the work represented the authors interests at the time (star trek, dinosaurs, boys kissing and being tsundere about it, very dramatic improbable things, etc) and you could see that it was a Creative work by very creative people. so calling aspects of it uninspired or not creative is a very big slap in the face of something that was pretty shockingly original for its time. i know it sounds ridiculous in the context of 2020, but does it? i saw people yesterday assigning gay culture terms to the rats from animaniacs. everything is just as silly as it was in the entire scope of fanworks. 

antihomestar, a character that did not exist before like 2009, was pervasive enough to make it into the real life, actual fan costumes videos from homestarrunner.com. someone cosplayed him and sent it into the brothers chaps, who included it in their photo slideshow with no comment. not to say that giving him black pants, a black star, and blades instead of a propeller isnt Very edgy on purpose, but maybe that was the point? hes Anti homestar. homestar runner, a character who does many things on accident and falls into things as they happen to him, might just wear a propeller hat without a second thought. to be an Anti version, antihomestar would have to do things in a calculated way, on purpose, to achieve results. which he does, as evidenced by him trying to steal universe travel equipment for very on-purpose power reasons. i dont know if their thoughts into him went that deep but id like to think they did.  to take a character as vague and for-the-punchline as homestar runner and subvert him, to turn his traits inside out and think of what that person might do if given an opportunity? thats Very creative to me. but then again, i read this fanfiction like every day for years and years until it was deleted from the internet, so maybe these things are more obvious to me because i have the context?

my point is. giving an Unfounded critique based on a thing you have only seen once or twice is just as silly as saying ‘what if homestar runner wore black pants and licked knives for fun’. but one of those things is more enjoyable to look at.

(he also had black straight hair and piercings, because IT WAS 2010 ON LIVEJOURNAL. of course hes going to look like that. he wasnt just made for the aesthetic, he had plot reasons and character development and everything and i just want everyone to know that.)

[corvidshipping]

cliff texting hcs even though i should be in BED cause i have an 8 hour shift tomorrow

he did not have a phone for the longest time. remember the last time he was really in society was like, the late 80s, when the only phones around were the kind that plugged into your wall or cost a quarter to use, hes not exactly used to the thought of carrying that around with him, let alone a phone combined with a calculator, music player, computer, camera... hes kind of grandpa about it lmfao

he finally got a phone after vic got after him for never being able to contact him when he needed him and always having to call jane or larry to get to cliff, but it was like... a dinky little old-style razr.

he broke it almost immediately (it was a genuine accident. the phone was tiny and it has little keys and he has large, difficult to control robot hands)

he refused to get a phone again for a while after that (”if you really need to get in touch that bad you can call the house. not like i get out much anyway”)

larry said he should try getting a smartphone since those are bigger and easier to use, but yknow uh, robot hands make it kind of hard to use a touchscreen meant for humans

something something joke about nokias being indestructible and maybe thats what he needs if hes gonna destroy phones

i want to bee leaf that he finally gets a new one partially bc of possum. not entirely but i mean... ghost gf who depending on their mood may not be able to speak, may not be visible. sure, they use the whiteboard he got them, but... isnt it a bit more convenient (and tropey) to get a text from your ghost gf who lives in the attic?

(haha, spirit phone joke)

also, there is something to be said about technology (and animals!) being canonically just a little more sensitive to sensing possum than most humans (for example, because his eyes are basically cameras wired to his brain rather than human eyes, cliff can see possum’s physical form a little longer than most humans when they de-corporealize). so when theyre having trouble speaking, theres a chance that the phone might be better able to pick up on their voice than someones ears (i mean, hes got robot ears but... listen man)

also, this means they could use the touchscreen of the phone potentially even when theyre not corporeal enough to be able to lift a dry-erase pen

so anyway, back on topic. he finally gets a new phone because vic wont stop asking him about it and it makes things just a tad easier for the ghost in the house thats unreasonably attached to him. its a slightly outdated android, definitely not the newest model but still functional and can run modern software well. vic VERY pointedly gets him an extremely durable case, maybe something developed at STAR even. who knows

larry got him a stylus bc he is the only one who remembered that, yknow, robot fingers, touchscreen. larry probably has issues with touchscreens too given the bandages. it was very sweet of him

he is. SO bad at texting. just in general

either responds in 2 seconds or 2 days no in between. definitely at least partially hinges on how much he likes you

really cares about having peoples contact photos for some reason?

(i think hes afraid of not having enough photos of people if he loses them again 🥺)

despite the stylus, his texts still L.       ook l ik E thIs. even autocorrect cant help him now

its getting better over time, though

speaking of autocorrect, definitely gets irrationally mad at it. the amount of times rita has had to talk him out of smashing his phone...

lockscreen is definitely an old photo of him and clara he found in chiefs files :(

do NOT tell this man about the emoji keyboard, he will overuse the SHIT out of them and wont know what half of them mean

(he just misses being able to make facial expressions a lot, okay?)

his message history with jane is definitely like this:

homegirl just does not respond to his texts, ever. its ok though he literally leaves vic on read ALL. THE. TIME just to piss him off

his phone ringtone is LOUD AS FUCK cause he cant leave it on vibrate bc he literally cannot feel the vibrations

bonus self indulgent hc: literally responds to possums texts in like 5 seconds flat. answers on the second ring every time she calls, no matter where he is or what hes doing. has possibly even picked up the phone for them in the middle of a fight.

[dear-space-cadet]

al horford sleeper agent

—————

anyway by now ive told basically everyone i care about but i had a life changing experience over the weekend. n it sounds dumb as shit but i met a real life dude who was basically a clone of nick from franz. weird hours. guess this is a thread

before we start i want to say i havent thought about franz in weeks. theyve gone away on their own finally but really i think my old obsessions just get replaced every few years and maybe it was my hard work in therapy or my new obsession with rap or

maybe it was just a realization or me growing up and maturing or something but i dont even want to work on my favorite fanfics anymore or anything. it’s just odd. i think im changing

and i don’t think about how my former favorite band members are doing or worry about them or check their socials n it feels really good. but i know there probably is or probably will be a replacement

ok that was a tangent. if they were replaced by anything they were replaced by new friends and the NBA. so there’s the exposition of this story sorted

anyway back to the weekend. the sleeper agent invited me to lunch. and that was the catalyst. god people are being so loud in here let me go to the art library

anyway i just kind of realized "huh i guess there's more out there." i went to lunch n shit. WE went to lunch n shit. stopped caring so much about my math homework. let myself be dumb and in love

that’s a very human thing. lunch. he spilled his stupid chipotle burrito all over his stupid bright green celtics jacket

he’s from italy. never even stepped foot in a chipotle. immediately clowned himself. some world we live in

we hung out all weekend. we went to lunch like two more times and we went to dinner. there was this big threat of leaving looming over my head the whole time. i made him walk like a mile on crutches and i feel very bad about it

i don’t know what’s wrong with him. it’s somewhere between a basketball injury and a chronic disability. either way that just made me feel even more emotionally attached to him. i never saw him without the celtics jacket

it was so cold that weekend. or maybe i just didn’t bring the right jacket. if he were a gentleman he would have offered me the celtics jacket. i didnt even hug him goodbye

and then of course he went back home. theres a million girls all over his instagram comments all the time. theres nothing special about me. he doesn't want to talk. i wrote my ap psych notes in green yesterday bc i was so in love with that stupid celtics jacket

im a sixers fan. the sixers and the celtics have been rivals forever. it was about to be war, except i want to move to boston. but really i want to move to dc. i wish the whole world was philly. things would be less complicated

im in love with a celtics jacket. a celtics jacket. of all teams. and i cant even talk to my basketball friends about it because they think im dumb shit for falling for some celtics fan with a million girls all over his instagram comments all the time

im not like those girls. i don’t think im like those girls. but i definitely exactly am

i have an economics test in fifteen minutes. i think one day ill drown in the atlantic ocean.

the test wasnt that bad. i thought about writing this the entire time. i would just zone out and stare and think about the phrase ‘al horford sleeper agent’

because he has to be. why else would someone put a diehard sixers fan right in front of a diehard celtics fan who looks exactly like the guitarist of their middle school favorite band

in reality i should be calling him a celtics sleeper agent because the whole point is that al horford is a sleeper agent for the celtics. but i hate al horford so i guess it’s more funny to include him in the title

i mean how can one player change so drastically like that? al horford was benched for the first time since his rookie season, like, two weeks ago after being traded to the sixers. how does that happen? why *wouldn’t* he be playing badly so his old friends win the title?

al horford’s gotta be retiring in like, three years, tops. he’s working for the celtics, i know it. and my sleeper agent is trying to convert me to a celtics fan

i understand why people make jokes, though. it’s a very human thing to want to go home. al horford just wants to go home. he lived in boston for however many years let me look it up

god whatever it was only three years i thought it was like eleven that just ruined my point

back to the matter at hand though that’s all we’re trying to do. we all just want to feel at home. we’re all just these little things trying to connect somehow. sometimes we are more desperate than others

i think im pretty desperate right now. sometimes i sit in my bedroom and im like damn when do i get to go home? but im home

i didn’t even want to leave dc. it was all star break and there wasn’t even basketball on. so there i was, in basketball purgatory, wizards territory for some god forsaken reason, losing sleep over a celtics fan and not wanting to go home

and when i say i was losing sleep you better believe me. i was so excited to wake up in the morning that i didn’t want to fall asleep. i wanted to be awake forever, endless, running through the city

i’ll get there soon enough. it’ll be with different people. college, yknow. all that. but sometimes i feel like certain things can’t be replaced.

and im acting like a different person lately. im using my phone at red lights just so i can check for a message from the sleeper agent. it’s always one word responses

yes. ok. maybe. some shit like that. a haha every once in a while. he’s not interested and i should stop trying

and then, INEVITABLY, i send something stupid back, a photo of my hand on the wheel or something, and i get left on read

and i know im stupid for it. everyone i know is screaming at me “disco, you’re dumb shit” but i just want to believe for a minute that im loved, im special

I want to feel like someone out there cares about me that isn’t obligated to, yknow? my mom can say she loves me all she wants but it doesn’t feel as good as some italian celtics fan saying it

some hot italian celtics fan mind you

even if he wasn’t hot or italian it would be nice. and actually it would be better if he liked like, ANY other basketball team

except maybe the knicks

but whatever. main point: i know im dumb shit and should stop trying. but it feels good to feel like if i keep trying maybe i’ll be wanted

sleeper agent is just one of those people tho. he’s magnetic and everyone always wants to be around him. dumb as hell in the most charming way ever. my friends are still all making fun of me

i started crying in a pizza place the other night because even the CONCEPT of italy sent me over the edge. i need to stop before i

wait what’s the word

i need to stop before i immortalize him? no, no

i need to stop before i deify him. soon enough he’s going to be a new canonical character in my head and i’ll start making up legends and stories to myself

we barely knew each other. if i deify him i’ll start telling people he offered me the celtics jacket when it was cold out. he’ll become a perfect gentleman. and he wasnt. he was just some stupid hot italian boy in a bright green jacket

im not going to deify him. it won’t happen. but i love the color green. i always say i love yellow more but i think that’s passed. i wear a green ring on my right ring finger every day. im not going to deify him and i still hate the celtics

overall, the celtics are winning the rivalry. i don’t think the sixers have ever truly been “great,” at least outside of philly. maybe allen iverson. wilt chamberlain. dr j? theyve never had like, a dynasty. idk. i don’t think you’d be able to get a sixers jacket in italy.

it’s his birthday today. i should probably text him. i should probably stop thinking about him. that’s just dumb shit, disco youre better than this what happened to a little self confidence every now and again

sure lets say external validation isnt necessary but also i think that’s something the mindfulness crowd made up to sell more planners and tote bags in 2011. it feels good to be wanted

never waste all your time on it sure. know youre still worth it even when you have no friends and there are a million girls all over his instagram comments. but it does feel good to hear “goodness disco i like how much you like the philadelphia 76ers”

my friends are all making fun of me for being on some romeo and juliet shit because he’s literally from verona and he’s a celtics fan and im a sixers fan god damn it disco why does this always happen

i never even read romeo and juliet but i saw the dreamworks adaptation so i guess ive got the story relatively right i know they die in the end. the gnomes shatter into little pieces i think

anyway tangents aside the sixers won tonight. philly is lit up green. why the hell is philly lit up green? the eagles were done like three months ago and the flyers are orange. why is philly lit up green

oh god, he just snapped me. a zoomed in photo of himself with caption that says “76ers” with like five exclamation points

here we go again, everybody

wish me luck

[cantdance]

carlycrays replied to your photo “marvel writers and editors trying to decide what to do with loki in an...”

Oh, sweet summer child, you clearly don't know how this works. Loki literally can't stay dead. That's a canon rule. Also, while Marvel hasn't had the best track record with the transgender community, when have they made transphobic jokes at Loki's expense?

nothing has ever made me jump out of bed and race to my computer faster than seeing this message. what is it this weekend that makes people feel like they need to answer my joke posts with a novel telling me how dumb i am?

first of all, allow me to allay your fears. at this point i have read over 400 issues of the original 1966 thor series, and i am still working my way through the rest. ive also read several of the modern retellings of the old comics, journey into mystery (2011) with kid loki and all the tie-ins, loki: agent of asgard, both of the angela series, vote loki, jane fosters entire run as the mighty thor, loki: sorcerer supreme, infinity wars (2018), the current thor series, and now war of the realms. ive also read a little thing called the mythology, as well as a few other modern adaptations. so, to recap, thats easily around 500 issues of asgardian comics, as well as the originating material, and assorted other sources. i know what the fuck im talking about, and i am not your sweet summer child, you condescending ass.

beside that, i am a real human being deserving of basic respect, and if this were actually a case of me not knowing something, you could easily communicate that without being so patronizing. people do it all the time! there are tons of things that i dont know about. unfortunately for you, this is the one thing i know a LOT about.

as for when loki has been subjected to transphobic jokes, well, thanks for giving me an excuse to make a post that ive been meaning to make for a while now. let me start off by saying: loki is genderfluid, and i am genderfluid myself. this list contains things that i personally found to be insulting or uncomfortable. not every trans person may agree with me, but that doesnt mean it doesnt need further examination. this list may also not be exhaustive because im not going to spend hours trawling through comics at 10:30 in the morning no matter how badly i want to prove you wrong.

we all know that loki was officially recognized as transgender and bi/pansexual (depending on your preference i guess, i like them as pan) in loki: agent of asgard (2014). however, never once does anyone in the series use any of the actual WORDS to communicate this. never does anyone say “genderfluid” or “transgender” or “bi” or “pan” or “queer” or even “lgbt”. odin calls them “my child who is both a son and a daughter” which is very binary and not a great take on genderfluidity, but hey, odin right? this isnt part of the list, i just think its something that people need to talk about more.

anyway, after that is when the bullshit starts. i mean, ignoring how making loki a queer-coded villain from the beginning was scuzzy, ignoring the almost 50 years time where they did play that role, and ignoring the whole lady loki thing where they were pretty much portrayed as a man pretending to be a woman. heres the list:

vote loki (2016) issue 1 by christopher hastings and langdon foss

loki “turns into a woman” because it might do better in the polls. the reporter whose name i dont care to look up points this out because thats a totally acceptable thing to do when you see a trans person. after these few pages it never comes up again. lokis genderfluidity is being used for a cheap joke here. dont even get me started on how female-presenting loki is portrayed as being more clean and feminine than male-presenting loki, which is in and of itself a form of transphobia: that transgender women have to be ultra feminine to be accepted as the gender they are.

the mighty thor (2015) issue 3 by jason aaron and russell dauterman

loki summons a bunch of other versions of themselves for seemingly no reason, and of course all of them are presenting in a masculine way because lokis genderfluidity is only acknowledged when convenient. lady loki from dark reign pops up and says that since shes the only REAL female loki, its her job to fight jane as thor. now, im not going to sit here and unpack all of that for you, so please fire up your critical thinking skills and try to decide why exactly this is bad.

infinity wars (2018) issue 5 by gerry duggan and mike deodato jr

i went and scanned my physical copy of this just for you. here we see loki leading their team to talk to the child version of gamora who lives inside the soul stone. once they get there, emma says that she and ms marvel will go in alone because it “calls for a womans touch” and loki would just get them killed. in case youre missing the subtext, emma is saying here that loki cant do this, but a woman can, which means she is calling loki a fake woman, or at best, shes completely ignoring their gender and calling them a man.

these are just the three examples that stick out the most in my mind. its worth mentioning that the only time loki has “become a woman” (i hate using this phrase btw) is in those couple pages in vote loki, and the only time that loki has been actively called genderfluid was in squirrel girl (2015) issue 27. yknow, squirrel girl. the series that no one takes seriously and will insist isnt canon even though it is?

there is a very insidious form of quiet transphobia simply in the fact that no one at marvel will acknowledge lokis identity, much less say it out loud or use the correct terminology. in fact, ever since agent of asgard (the series that cemented lokis trans and pan-ness) ended, many writers including jason aaron and gerry duggan have all but ignored that it happened, erasing the progress that loki made as a person as well as their newly gained autonomy and, indirectly, the fact that they were ever confirmed as genderfluid and pansexual.

one last thing that i want to say is that while it may be a rule that loki never stays dead, subjecting a trans and gay character to repeated deaths for the sake of furthering plot is NOT a good thing. having the gay come back does not erase the fact that you buried them in the first place. being that loki is amab, this is extra sketchily tied to violence against trans women, which is a point that we all need to consider.

[tumblunni]

Random headcanons about the Qu species cos we never really learn much about them in the game except "they are funnie and cute". But i mean. THEY TOTALLY ARE! So i am love them and think more the thoughts.

* Okay so first off why is it that we see so few of them and all the ones we see are apparantly raised in a family of one elderly mentor and one student with apparantly nothing like a human parental structure? One of the few additional facts we got revealed in supplementary materials is that Quina is 89 in human years but this is considered "young adult" by Qu standards. So i'm assuming they have pretty damn long lifespans! Oh man, Qus are final fantasyverse elves?!?! I mean.. Lives amoungst nature... Mysterious and magical... Dedicates their long life to the pursuit of knowledge...it all adds up o.O theyre just elves if elves were funny instead of majestic! Normal elves do the same thing but with books n magic n archery n shit, seriously they just fuckin did ctrl + f replace everything with cookery terms. I HAVE CRACKED THE CODE, YOU GUYS

* okay sorry where was i LOL! Alright so i was thinking an explanation for Qus being so rare and seemingly not having a nuclear family unit = maybe theyre literally just spawned from nature? Like theyre technically a type of monster, just one thats more intelligent and able to form their own society. They just poof up out of the mist every now and then, and wreak havoc on whatever ecosystem they landed in with their Ultimate Super Adaptation Blue Magic Powers. So Qu Marshes are sorta like orphanage/lookout spots where elder Qus will try and find wandering bebs and invite them into the wider society. Most Qus are constantly nomadic, on the search for new recipes, and only the oldest ones will return to their childhood home and dedicate themselves entirely to teaching le youth.

* Either that or i dunno maybe Qus are like dragons in some kinds of fiction? Yknow the thing where a dragon egg is indestructable and lasts forever and takes a hundred years to hatch. So its rare for a parent to manage to keep ahold of all their kids long enough for them to be born, and most qus just wake up in a random place in god knows where and never find out who theyre blood related to. But their society is built more around these found family chef teacher structures so they dont really feel like they lose anything compared to humans. Also whenever a qu wants to pursue some other hyperfocus aside from cookery, they tend to seek out a human as their mentor/parent. After all, humans are everywhere and do lots of things! Its just a lil confusing sometimes cos the blacksmith accepting this random foreign exchange student doesnt expect them to get super attatched and start calling him dad! ("What do you mean you have nowhere to live??")

* oh and yeah i dont think that ALL qus forever have exactly the same personality and goals in life cos 'this entire species does one hobby' is a very stupid idea. Its just that they come from a very harsh and wild environment where you have to eat weird poisonous plants and dangerous giant monsters or else you starve. So itd make sense theyd develop a civilization around it when its a vital part of their existance and like.. The ability to acquire food more easily would be the entire reason WHY they coul start a society, cos otherwise it takes up 90% of their day every day. And developing complex cookery very quickly would also make sense because learning to prepare otherwise inedible stuff into edible form would be the greatest invention of early history! So food is just valued very highly because of those foundations of their society being one built on starvation. Nowadays theyre more able to eat enough to survive but that culture stuck around and they still celebrate even the smallest bowl of rice! So i think its totally probable that there are many Qu who have other hobbies and leave the qu homeland to pursue them, but i also think theyd still keep those cultural values of appreciating cooking even if they had other goals in life. So they do get the reputaion of "only ever chefs" from humans.

* Also to go with my headcanon of Qus being less of an anthro animal like most of the other races and more 'anthro vague concept of scary monsters in general, if they were actually nice and baked pies'. What if kid qus go through a tadpole/caterpillar stage where they actually are just monsters? Quina shows their baby photos and its just this big terrifying fangy blob in a cute onesie. I'm thinking that bebys would spend their childhood mostly feral and dangerous and then metamorphose into their more humanoid form once they become intelligent enough. So the length of their childhood stage could be shorter if theyre raised around other qus and learn to talk earlier. But probably those who rush through development like that would be physically smaller and weaker? Like higher magic stat vs higher defense.

* Qus have a more fluid concept of gender compared to humans. Its not like all of them are genderless but they're comparatively more accepting of people like Quina than humans are. The sexual dimorphism in their species is low so they mostly indicate gender through fashion sense and..well.. Saying "i am [insert gender here]". And their life is full of so many much more dangerous and important things so why the hell would they waste time thinking so much about dumb stuff like "uwu this person is somehow wrong about their own gender and i cant let it go until i prove it". So to a qu it would make literally no sense how humans are all "ugh this trans person is really [birth sex]" like uhh hello she said is girl, where problem??? Humans all look equally identical from a qu perspective so it all seems stupid.

* Similarly i think maybe qus adopt people from other species fairly frequently? By qu law, Vivi would be considered a qu citizen because his grandpa was a qu. If you're raised in the qu ways then you're not a human, that just doesnt make sense! Maybe you're a smaller weaker qu but youre still one of us! There are distinctions in the language between being part of the species and being an immigrant to the culture, but there isnt any predjudice about it. Qus get their reputation of being "stupid" because theyre very carefree and simple i guess, but thats not necessarily a "stupid" thing. They've advanced past a lot of bigotries humanity is still stuck on, because their society around hospitality like this. The power of food!!

* Also they don't speak "broken english" because they're stupid, like dont say that when you never made any effort to learn their damn language. I kinda have the headcanon that maybe qus speak all sorts of different languages since their culture highly values the idea of travelling the world to learn more cookery? Like they only have trouble being a master of any of these languages cos they learned SO MANY and its hard to remember all the different rules. Why do humans have so many countries!!

* I like the idea of Qus having the old medieval "perpetual stew" tradition. Having a family crock pot thats always bubbling with whatever miscellaneous leftovers everyone brings back with them each day. But maybe qus have a big community version? Just a giant town cauldron. Itd probably have way higher odds of giving terrible soup if literally everyone is throwing in ingredients with no regard for each other, but the roulette aspect would be fun, lol!

* Qus have a reverse of usual human traditions for guests. When a qu is a guest in someone's home its expected that they'll cook something for the people who invited them in, and the family will be hapoy to get a chance to share new recipes with this stranger. So its common to open your kitchen to anyone and keep a good stock of ingredients just in case. Similarly, the main way Qus judge if a human is trustworthy is to challenge them to cook something or take down some tasty boss monster. According to legend, humans first came into contact with qu society when a legendary knight slayed a ruby dragon and helped feed a villaige for a week. So thats why qus decided to trust humans,but still some individuals might be wary until you prove a similar feat of cooking strength. Any fellow gourmands are instantly accepted though, and many taverns across human society boast that they are "qu approved". The coveted "five yummy yummies" rating is ever elusive!

* Qus really like Fancy Hats

* i really like Fancy Hats

* this is why i love the qus

[isaacathom]

ok this is actually a fun bit of writing here, even if the preceding shit was kinda garbage

tl;dr this bitch has to rant about this stupid book because i naively want to learn something about my family’s history and this is the only fucken way to do it

‘When he discovered he had to work to help provide for this instant family of a large flock of children, ‘Mick’ showed his true self and devotion to the family.

Within a year of the marriage, he left the fold, leaving his wife to fend for herself in the daunting task of raising her children.’

like.aside from just being kinda awkwardly worded (he bangs On and On about how his mum was the 11th of 11 children like fuck i get it its a big family, holy shit) i think thats just. a good concept there. the space really sells the punch. wouldve been better if we hadnt been told beforehand that Mick was a cunt, yknow. but thats nice

also lets keep going. ‘6 step brothers and 4 step sisters’ theyre actually her Half Siblings. they all share the same mother. theyre related. she’d be step if she was adopted, which she was not, because if she were, surely we wouldve been told about those circumstances.

‘[his mother] easily met that high standard as she was a very pretty young lady’ please dont perv out over your fucking mother you pig of a man. also you would hope ‘jock’ (his name is fucking robert but ok, Jock) was interested in more than how pretty Nellie was when they got together, right......... like there had to be more to it. am i naive? perhaps

‘scottish clan gordon’ the what. but we arent gordons???? are you. are you hundred percent sure. are you positive about this. are you sure thats why your name is gordon. alright buddy

‘according to buzzy’s story’ please never refer to yourself in the third person

‘hotels rarely burn down’ ?? i dont buy that at all. my guess is this famous hotel (which.... you didnt name so ok)

ok so theres a picture in here of my dad standing at some random gate, and he says its the same gate as a picture of his dad..... where is THAT picture??? this picture means nothing without that historic context, and it feels hollow if the actual picture isnt there.

granddad you dont. you dont need to wikipedia article dump me information about glasgow??? i mean sure, cool, id rather just be reading the wikipedia article.

jesus christ. so hes talking about his dad, right. who he’d technically set up earlier by saying he came to melbourne at 19. before he launched into a whole thng about his mother and shit. and suddenly hes come back to his dad to explain that his dad (so gordons grandfather) used to beat him! and its like, wOAH, where the fuck did that come from??? shit dude. thats rough. but he just mentions it suddenly out of nowhere. oH JESUS actually. sorry. i misread (yknow, because its written like shit). he means.... his brother??? right, he means his Brother Robert, was beaten by his dad, also named Robert, who was the one who came to melbourne aged 19. ok. ok that makes slightly more structural sense but ooof. ouch. poor robert (the younger). in my uh, defence, this book is written awful and i've never met robert? (my.... understanding is that he probably died before i was born? like with mary, who i dont recall having met either)

ok uhhh ‘most of the gorbal’s tenemenets were eventually demolished by the wise founding fathers many decades later, in the 1980s’ the WHOM. this isnt fucking america, this is scotland, what in the actual fuck are you TALKING about????????????????????????????? ‘modern day replacement improvements and architecture designed to achieve, what?’ fucker they were trying to fix the mistake they made in crowding 90k people into the fucking gorbals. maybe they didnt succeed (they didnt) but they were trying, it was naivete rather than fucking malice, you bitter old fuck. like, you visited in the 1980s.... and published this book in 2007......... without thinking to check back......... like hey maybe theyve gotten better? (newsflash - they fucking have) sooo... fuck

‘could the [my family] be related? [to the mcdonalds]’ yes??? we literally are. theres no question of that. being a sept of clanranald, we are Literally related to the fucking macdonalds. you absolute buffoon. yea its distant, and maybe thats your point, but when combined with you launching into this giant diatribe about rhw Campbells for shit that happened long ago, it seems youre picking and choosing how close ‘related’ is. we are. literally. related to the macdonalds. also it wasnt thought up in glasgow, they were from fucking new hampshire. but sure. 

‘his sheila wife of his’ excuse me?

‘so the name was related to a buzzing bee i suppose’ ? i still dont get it. like, he then explains that apparently his twin sister had difficulty saying Brother, so she called him Buzzy. that makes sense to me. i can understand that. but the buzzing bee thing? not sure i follow, given the prior context he provided. i dont get it. this is written like garbage. theres no structure. we went from jumping forward in time to the birth of my uncle Dale (my dads older brother) and suddenly we’re talking about Mick’s running career and gordon’s childhood! what the fuck happened.

‘coupled with the bigoted attitudes that were rife during those periods’ says the man who got angry at a black (i THINK, mightve been a separate story)  frenchman who couldnt speak english in France because ‘we saved them’. fuck off. youre just like them, you old codger.

also hes decrying his grandfather mick for being ‘no true irishman’ even though micks dad was full irish? by that exact same metric i can call my grandfather no true scotsman, because his dad is full scottish and thats it!!! you fucking fool. no true irishman, holy shit, how little self awareness could this man have.

‘then excessive drinking liquor isnt for me’ but is Is for your wife, is it gordon??? drinking wine when shes on antibiotics??? fucking incredible. god theyre. theyre so stupid.

‘not proceeding as a scholar as i could have’ you literally admitted like 5 pages ago that your twin sister was Far smarter than you, but sure! ~scholar~. if you were meant to be a scholar surely you wouldve bounded back from missing days with a vengeance. youre talking complete tosh.

im confused why theyd be doing bombing drills in South Yarra.... in preparation from a japanese air raid.... like im sorry, if the people north are doing their jobs, theres no physical way they couldve gotten to south yarra....... but ok. thats not his fault i just think thats strange.

im 110 pages in and he hasnt actually gotten to the point where he meets eleanor??? aside from a few time jumps forward and a brief mention of ‘meeting her in a milk bar in south yarra’ so like. hoi vey? the fuck.

oh jesus thats. thats a heavy thing to just chuck in the middle of a sentence??? like ‘oh yea after Skete the next scout leader was a paedophile who abused me and the others’ wwwOooahhh there buddy back up. what???? holy shit. ouch. thats. thats rough.

‘absolutely belted this poofta bastard’ yknow what? fair. id also beat the fuck out of a pedo with my boot. thats Relatable. good going on that, i suppose.

ooh thats full third person, weird.

one thing that is definitely kinda interesting, and very telling about his relationship with his family, is that he only ever refers to Nellie as ‘mum’, but refers to Mick as, well, Mick! rather than ‘granddad’ or anything of the sort. like its just sorta interesting when you get this big family photo and Nellie is the only one not called by her first name.

‘returning to those earlier days’ NO! FUCKING MOVE FORWARD IN TIME YOU GIT!!!! holy shit i just want to read about new fucking shit.

......... so like, at some point while playing footy, an opposing player kicked him in the leg and caused a fractured tibia. so a few weeks later... one of gordons friends took a mark on that player and kneed him straight in the head, with that player never playing again. and he’s PROUD of that!!! he’s proud of his friend for ruining a guys footy career. like yea, the guy was a dick, he broke your leg and it was at least partially malicious, but like........... you fucked him up????? hardcore?????? a straight up ruination. but go off i guess.

its interesting that he doesnt go even remotely into eleanors history beyond the fact (so far) that her father Leo didnt say much but was a good dude. then again the books all about him soooo fuck it i suppose.

‘recognition of our scottish heritage’ eleanor isnt scottish tho. shes irish. shes an o'donoghue. what the fuck. like yea naming them dale and glen is a ‘clever’ nod back to scotland (i actually do think thats cute and clever, joking aside. its the exact sort of ‘clever’ shit i love pulling) but............. shes not scottish. unless we’re waiting for volume 2 all about eleanor.

hE USED TO LIVE OUT HERE??????? IN SPRINGVALE????? fuck me. no fucking wonder we live here, huh, jesus. that. certainly explains something, i suppose. like ‘if you were raised in holbrook and YOU were raised in thomastown, why do we live in knox?’

OHHHHH HERES THE FRENCH THING!!!! OHHHH HERES ONE OF THE FRENCH THINGS. OH BITCH behold

so granddads being a dick, as usual, and he’s on some tour in paris. and the tour guide launches into a long thing about the glory of france, like french history and the fighting record, etc. and granddad calls out and tells him to knock it off, because ‘our australians died by the thousands for your country’

i. eh... uhh............... is he. is he aware? of how many french people died???? for france?????? how many????? il tell you how many - apparently 1.44% of the total population of france. thats 600000 people. how many did we lose? around 35k. thats, uh, a smaller fucking number. than the amount of french people. who died. for fucking france. you fucking idiot.

it kills me. is he gonna include the french speaking one too???

oh hell that sure is a picture of my father. good heavens. holy shit my brother really does look like him. thats uncanny, man.

‘one son Scotty’ his name is Scott, actually. not scotty. but cool, i got a really small shout out, weirdly BEFORE my older cousins did???? oh dear is he gonna talk about my uncles divorce actually. oh god. thats. thats terrifying to consider. oh, cool, he didnt in that small section, hopefully it doesnt come up haha (i can only IMAGINE what sort of vile shit he’d say about cathy)

also, ooh, more nuggets on grandma’s family. her dad was a freemason! thats cool.

ooh! he was the president of holbrook shire council! thats kinda neat actually.

ooh! the glenndale motel actually still exists! thats cool as hell. not that granddad told me that i just googled it

OHHH ITS THE FUCKING FRENCH SPEAKING STORY OH MY GOD

Ok first off ‘i slammed my fist into the counter and said very calmly’ yea no fuck that, youre fucking lying. theres no way you slammed the counter and spoke calmly. you almost definitely abused this poor french metro worker who, being a French Man living in France, is not required to know english. you fucking babboonnnnnnnnnn

apparently he nearly fell off a mountain innnnnn geeermany? austria, austria. and as he mentions my dad pulling him back up, he words it as ‘stopping me from falling to my final destiny’ what fucking wording IS that. my god.

uh well ok thats. about it i suppose. there was a big hullabuloo about like, hotels and shit, and there was probably some racism about Islanders in there (like i find it hard to believe there wasnt but im not gonna go back and double check, because this book reads like absolute garbage). but eh. yea?

uuhhh so that was an Adventure, for sure

[tumblunni]

AGH IM SO OVERWHELMED WITH LOVE FOR MY GYARADOS

His name is Allegro and he's a shiny i got on pokemon go abd i just got SO ATTATCHED to him cos of the way evolution works in the app. I feel like this is the first time i ever actually experienced the intended experience of magikarp, yknow? Like its supposed to be weak and take a lot of effort to evolve. But in later games simply levelling it up has become much easier and honestly it wasnt even very hard in the original. Just boring,cos you had to keep it in slot one and keep switching it out. Like its exactly the same as just training other pokemon but with a boring thing added. It feels like this poor magikarp doesnt have a part in its own evolution! But in pokemon go you have to catch 400 magikarps to evolve it and its a way more difficult challenge that takes potentially months of real time and encourages you to go out and explore more places to find them. And you can put the magikarp as your buddy pokemon and have it follow behind you to earn bonus evolution candies, so its really like youre earning it together!!!

So thats why im SO PROUD of allegro and i love him so much!! Also i was doing all this running around for magikarps back when i was in a very low mental health state and working on making progress. So i seehim as a personification of my recovery and a big kind happy friend who helped me through it! Going on more frequent walks each week did help a lot, and having this game as a goal was a great way to distract myself from feeling all anxious and awful and staying inside instead of following the doctors orders. And now im more able to go outside on long journeys without the game's help so i think maybe its time to transfer Allegro to the console games? Cos i can see him in full 3D and ride on his back through the ocean!!! Its a shame the latest game doesnt let you cuddle all of your pokemon though, only pikachu. But i can have him follow me everywhere on happy ocean trips and chat to him and just have a grand old time! And find out what his stats would even be in a regular game, lol. I mean even if i get unlucky in the transfer and he turns out to be the weakest gyarados ever i dont give a fuck cos I LOVE HIM! Oh oh oh and he could follow me around in real life again in a different better way! I got the pokeball plus controller so i can upload him into that and do the pedometer minigame exvept this time this one gives him levels instead of evolution. He's gonna be so damn powerful from my love!!!!

Oh oh oh and i think his personality is cute! I know gyarados's personality is supposed to be 'angry all the time' but i just picture allegro as a super calm and peaceful one. He's maybe not too outwardly affectionate but he loves you a lot, yknow? Like a kind of quiet and solitary cat whose way of showing love is just to hang out in the same room together and roll over on its belly to show its not scared of you. I think theres probably a communication difference like that with gyaradoses, theyre a mon whose way of being happy isnt as similar to humans as stuff like dogs or pikachus.so they get a bad rep of being evil and scary and always grumpy when theyre just trying to show you how they feel and theyre sad you dont understand. Like, maybe they boop each other with headbutts as affection and dont realise humans are so much weaker than them so it takes a while to learn how to boop their new friend softly. But when they just hear RARR RARR I AM PUNISHING YOU FOR BEING NICE theyre like ??? and learn to be scared of showing their affection. And then you call them emotionless for it!! And maybe theyre also like a mix of dogs and lizards? Like they lay around a lot being "lazy and bored" when really its just that they need to regulate body temperature when outside of the water by sleeping more hours a day than a human does. And they get yelled at for wrecking stuff arpund the house cos theyre trying to curl up in a shady spot and their bigness means they knock over the sofa. And they move around a lot during their naps cos they need to find cold/damp spot to go to sleep and then lay down half awake for a little while in a sunbeam to get energized to start the day. So of course theyre gonna be a bit fidgety if they dont have their own room with a specialized bed, and of cpurse theyre gonna sleep even longer if they get so exhausted finding a sleeping spot! And then i think theyre very hyper and playful when theyre awake and thats the real cause of their reputation as angry evilness. They just wanna play and they dont understand a lot of the human world and its all so small and fragile. Theyre not doing it on purpose!! Oh and i think maybe similar to scorpions theyre not actually dangerous because theyre aggressive but because theyre scared? Most venomous animals only sting you when they think theyre in danger of dying,cos they only have a limited amount of venom and wouldnt wanna waste it unless its necessary. But scorpions are easily scared of humans so they think we're murderous fiends if we just stand near them, lol! Its understandable cos i mean all they can see is a massive foot and some towering infinate shadow and feel all the quakes it makes in the sand as it approaches. People are spooky! So i think maybe gyarados are very curious critters and tend to get spooked by the stuff they stumble into, like that vid of emus poking the ball toy and running away screaming when it moves. And also gyaradoses can only investigate stuff by forehead bumps, taste and sniffing by wiggling their lil mustache antennae. All things that tend to look like OMG SCARY THING IS ATTACKING ME from a human perspective. Also theyre very big and evolve from something very small so they dont know their own strength! And everything looks so new and fun!

GYARADOS DEFENDER FOREVER they are just big fishie babies and i lovv they

Anyway anyway for Allegro i was thinking of a headcanon of my pokemon trainer sona going through the same stuff i did IRL? Like, an anxious adult who used to be a trainer as a kid but went through a lot of abusive parent stuff and lost their confidence and also lost all their belongings in the process of running away. So that led to trainer-me being all depressed and living in a small crowded town having a boring life and feeling like id never be good enough to start my trainer career all over again. But i find a sparkly fishie of cuteness in the pond and i keep him as more of a pet than a battler but through the power of his love i start taking him out on walkies and training myself to be worthy of being the trainer he needs, yknow? Like 'i hate myself but i cant stand anyone else hating themself'. Cos magikarp is the weak pokemon and maybe he heard humans all talking about that and he felt he'd never get a human friend because of it. Also maybe magikarps are like koi fish and they dont get their full colours until teenagerish age, so shiny ones are just regular orange for the first few years and he didnt even know he was special. And his specialness shined through as we were training together but i loved him even before i knew he was special, just cos he was such a kind lil guy!! And then he earned his big fancy sparkly evolution and now we fly majestically thru the skies on the power of self confidence~! Also similarly to how i got my baby photos back from finding my sister after all these years, trainer-me eventually got reunited with their childhood pokemon and now has eighty bazillion powerfulnesses again. And they all met allegro and they love thier lil bro and now we're going on a revisiting kanto adventure together and everything is great.

And i just think allegro is very kind and soft and peaceful and curls around everyone in a big hug when he goes to sleep and I LOVE HIM and he flies majestically and he really loves it after dreaming of it for so long. I named him a music word cos i was thinking of 'what would you call Splash if it was actually a powerful move?' Splash = jumping = ballet? So he is a graceful squiggly weird wind kite snake worm dragon koifish and i love him and i cherish him and HE IS THE REASON HE IS SPECIAL NOT THAT HE'S LITERALLY A RARE POKEMON. cos the rare coloured gyarados is a gyarados thats the same colour as a.magikarp! Its such a good symbol for the same thing you were self concious about being what everyone appreciates about you, yknow? I love him and he is peaceful and happy and shy and i bet if you hugged him it would be so weird cos its not like you often get to hug a fish that isnt wet. And i mean he's like a half fish half dragon? So it must be like a.lizard but with very prominant scale texture and a leathery whale blubber body or something. And big pointy elephant tusk teeth and the forehead horn thingie! I wanna cuddle him so much aaaaa

SO IN SUMMARY I LIKE MY BIG GRUMPLEFEESH