#the performance was. fine the band carried it though

[ashwhowrites]

Can you do one where Eddie and the reader are in a secret relationship and Eddie wants to make it public but the reader doesn’t and he feels insecure about it but in reality the reader doesn’t want him to get picked on.They get into a big fight but they make up please and thank you 💖💘

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Ending isn't proofread whatsoever

To be ready

Y/N and Eddie agreed to keep their relationship a secret for the beginning. They wanted to date and get to know each other without everyone getting in their business.

Eddie struggled with it once they reached their five month anniversary. He felt like it was long enough and he was ready to express his feelings for her with no shame. Y/N was a little bit more nervous but she agreed, it felt like the right time.

"You ready?" Eddie asked, the smile on his face full of excitment. Her heart warmed knowing how badly he wanted to show her off, and their relationship. This was going to be their first public moment, and the first time he will introduce her to his band.

She gripped his hand, nerves filling her body. "Yes," she smiled, even though she was terrified. All she had to do was meet new people, it couldn't go that bad, right?

He walked them through the back of the bar, a small gig for the band. He walked into the small backroom and she slipped in behind. She saw a group of some boys and girls, all talking.

"Well, look who finally showed up. And not alone," one of the guys said, teasing Eddie. Eddie's face responded in a blush.

"Gareth, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Baby, this is Gareth, one of my best friends."

Y/N released his hand to kindly shake Gareth's hand.

"It's nice to meet you," Gareth replied.

She met the rest of the band, and the band's girlfriends. Or groupies, if she was honest. A few gave her dirty looks and it made her nervous. She couldn't help but notice how opposite she was from them. Their clothes were different, the way they talked and carried themselves.

Once the show started, the boys went on stage and the girls joined the crowd. Y/N was in awe watching her boyfriend perform. She forgot about all the girls, just focused on him. As the show ended, she excused herself to the bathroom.

She headed back out to the crowd. Everyone was spacing out now that the entertainment was done. She spotted the girls from earlier waiting by the back doors, where the band would be. She headed over to join them as they waited.

"How long do you think they've been together?"

"Who knows, but I would've kept her hidden. She is so not his type," the three girls snickered. Y/N frowned as it was clear they were talking about her.

"I know! I'm not sure how she managed to pull that off"

"She must have a great personality"

"Isn't he worried she's going to ruin his whole sexy rockstar look? She'll only bring him down. He should be with someone as attractive as he is"

Y/N felt a lump in her throat. She began to second guess the whole thing. They let a few people know and everything she feared that would happen was happening. Eddie was getting looked down on because of her.

Insecurity and anxiety filled her. She felt much less ready to share their relationship with more people. She was back craving their nights alone in his bed, where no one had thoughts on them. As the girl's laughter began to get louder, she ran out.

She grounded herself against the wall, inhaling the smoke as a few people blew their cigarettes. The door opened and she saw her boyfriend looking around, with worry in his eyes. Once his eyes landed on her, his gaze softened.

"There you are, what's wrong?" he asked, as he got closer he noticed her tears. She sniffled and wiped her face, a fake smile sent his way.

"Nothing! I just needed some air," she said but Eddie gave her a look.

"Fine," she sighed, "I'm second-guessing telling people about us."

"It's been an hour. We have to try longer than that before giving up," he argued. She feared where the conversation would go knowing Eddie had been growing more annoyed as the months went by.

"I know, but those girls...I'm not like them, Eddie."

"No one said you had to be, all you have to do is be yourself. Let's go in, have a drink, and try," he said holding out his hand.

"I don't feel ready for that, Eddie. I'm sorry. I thought I could do this but I can't." She flinched as Eddie's face hardened. He puffed air out of his nose and rubbed a hand over his face.

It was clear he was agitated, and she felt horrible for causing it.

"When will you be?" Eddie snapped, his force harsher than he intended. "Six months? A year?"

"I don't know," she said as she rubbed her temples. She hated the way she felt and how hard everything felt.

"Do you even want to be with me?" he asked, his face falling. His words were much softer, a little more broken.

"Of course I do!" Y/N gasped, moving closer as he cupped his face in her hands.

"Then why can't you tell other people that?" he looked up at the sky as he tried to keep his emotions back. But the familiar feeling of not being good enough was creeping in.

"I can, Eddie. But dating me, telling people, I've been scared people will pick on you. And I was right! Those girls said everything I feared," she explained. She figured her honesty would help him understand but she gulped when he stepped back and removed her hands from his face.

"Y/N, I've been picked on all my life. I don't give a shit about what people have to say, and you shouldn't either," Eddie explained.

"I don't think I can just ignore it!" Y/N exclaimed, "their words have weight. I'm not like you, I can't shove away people's opinions and thoughts about me and us."

"I think we have different mindsets of being in this relationship," Eddie whispered, he feared he couldn't talk louder without a sob breaking through.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm in this relationship to be with you, to love you and be happy with you. The only person I care about is you, the only person's that thoughts matter to me is you. You can't say the same." Y/N panicked at his words. The look in his eyes and the goodbye tone in his voice.

"But I do!" she tried to argue

Eddie laughed bitterly and scoffed. She moved passed the way his reaction snapped her heart in half. "You don't care about me. If you did, you wouldn't be breaking us up."

"YOU ARE!" Y/N yelled, tears building in her eyes.

"I DON'T WANT TO BE A SECRET!" Eddie yelled back. He took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself. "You're worried about how others will treat me because of you? What about you? What about how you're treating me. You know all I want is for us to be together, no secrets and no shame. And you can't get over yourself to give me that."

"I understand I'm hurting you but can't you understand where I'm coming from? I tried Eddie and I realized I need more time, why can't you give me time?" she argued, her tears turning hot and angry.

"I've given you time, way damn more time than I would have ever needed," Eddie sighed. "Once you feel ready, maybe we'll figure it out."

She covered her mouth as she let out a small cry. Her heart pounded as she took in his heartbroken state. "Are we breaking up?" She whimpered.

Eddie nodded as he tucked his lip into his mouth. He put his hands in his pockets as a way of comfort. "Yeah, baby. We are."

Y/N bit her lip to silence her cries as Eddie walked back into the bar. She wanted to run after him and beg for him to stay. But he was right, he deserved someone better.

She blinked back as many tears as she could and walked to the nearest bus station. She sat on the bus, alone and crying, her heart wishing nothing more than to be in Eddie's van with his hand on her thigh.

~~~

With the summer heat, Y/N felt more miserable. She felt suffocated in her room, with too many memories of Eddie. And she couldn't escape outside without a sunburn.

It's been a long month of nothing from Eddie. Which made sense, he wasn't chasing her. She was chasing him. She was the one who had to make the move. She knew the longer she took to figure it out the faster he would run.

As she stared at her ceiling fan, she wondered if any of it was worth it. She's never felt this much pain in her life, and she was the cause of all of it. She had the power to fix it and she was wasting time.

She was getting sick of herself. Hating herself for what she did and continued to do. She missed him, and might even love him.

Eddie tried to seem like the world didn't crash on him. Tried to smile and act like he wasn't falling apart on the inside. But in reality, Eddie couldn't stand being alone. Her scent followed him everywhere and he missed the feeling of her. He missed her hands, her kiss, her body, everything. But he couldn't go back, she needed to come to him. He hoped that she realized her mistake, that this week of silence was her finding out how to come back.

The show ended and Eddie could hear his thoughts again. Not wanting to, he headed to the bar. He sat down on the stool with a heavy sigh and ordered a beer.

"Still pouting about her?"

Eddie turned as a girl's voice talked into his ear. He rolled his eyes as he looked back at his beer.

"Leave me alone,," Eddie sighed. He definitely wasn't in the mood. But she didn't listen. Instead, she dragged the barstool out and took a seat next to him.

"You're too good for her, anyway. She should have been delighted to have you on her arm," the random girl said.

Eddie eyed her weirdly, having no idea how the news of his ex-secret girlfriend began spreading. But he shook it off and went back to his beer. She talked his ear off for around an hour. Eddie was on his fifth beer as he tried to zone out the noise.

Y/N walked into the bar, feeling uneasy as the last time she was here went horribly. She scanned the crowd, her eyes easily finding him, but he wasn't alone.

A girl was seated beside him, way too close for Y/N's comfort. She was perched up, talking in his ear. Y/N's plan was to have a conversation but the jealousy overpowered everything. She was glad to see that Eddie wasn't entertaining the girl.

Eddie felt his body being spun around on his stool in a flash. Sudden arms wrapped around his neck and soft lips on his. He was surprised to see the lips belonged to Y/N. He instantly kissed back, enjoying the force of her lips against his.

She held on to him as if he was going to disappear. Her heart raced when his arms circled around her waist. He spread his legs, allowing her body to stand between them. She moaned as his tongue slipped inside her mouth, making her warm all over.

They pulled away, and Eddie couldn't wipe the smile off of his face.

"What was that?" He asked, he wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or her that made his head feel dizzy.

"I'm ready. And I'm sorry for not being ready when you needed me to be. But I can't imagine my life without you. I love you and I want us to be together, no shame or secrets." Y/N said, she turned her head and saw the girl had vanished. She looked back at him, their bodies tangled.

"I love you too, baby," his lips smashed on hers. Knocking the air out of her lungs, but she liked the way it burned.

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt @ineedmentalhelp123

[tothechaos]

i saw an abba cover band tonight and honestly most of the performance was spent imagining what im sure is some absolutely insane interpersonal drama

[apomaro-mellow]

Hospitals still weren't Eddie most favorite place to be, even though they had technically saved his life once. He didn't give doctors the credit though. No, he reserved that praise for his husband who had literally carried him through hell, holding his guts together.

But alas, he was still only human. And thus prone to human ailments. Which was why he was currently in a hospital bed, preparing for a tonsillectomy.

"Steve, my love, my muse", Eddie took his hand and kissed it. "Should I not return from this-"

"Oh shut up. It's a routine operation." Steve could tell he was being dramatic to cover up the fact that he was actually scared. "You'll be fine. In fact, I'm going down to the cafeteria right now. You're not getting just any ice cream. I'm gonna bring you back a whole sundae."

Steve looked to the rest of the band, who had come for moral support. "Watch him please. And don't let him fall to hysterics." He left out, really hoping he wouldn't come back to an Eddie in tears.

"Sooo", Grant started. "If you don't make it, who gets your house?"

Eddie's brow furrowed. "Uh, my husband, duh?"

"Okay, who gets your husband?", Gareth asked.

Eddie saw the cavalry arrive in the form of Steve's true soulmate. "Robiiiiin", he whined. "You have to protect Steve from these vultures", he hissed the last word.

"We're just trying to hash out who has dibs on Eddie's hot husband", Jeff said.

Robin pointed to herself. "I made it clear to Eddie when he proposed that should the marriage end, either naturally or by divorce, custody of Steve would revert back to me."

"Not exactly the answer I was looking for Bucks, but as long as you keep Steve out of another man's clutches, I won't haunt you from the grave."

"Actually, I plan on setting him up with the first wealthy guy he meets", Robin said. "Thanks to your fame, I've become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. And also, Steve doesn't know how to be single."

The other CC boys nodded sagely.

"All the more reason one of us should get him. We can take care of him", Grant said.

"I can't believe this. This is a goddamn coup!", Eddie shouted.

Steve returned, none the wiser to their conversation. "You won't believe this. The cafeteria has chocolate syrup AND nuts? Isn't that wild? You're gonna have the best sundae of your life, babe."

He took his seat right next to Eddie's bedside and kissed his forehead.

"Angel, we're surrounded by snakes and thieves", Eddie said deliriously.

"What are you talking about?", Steve asked.

Having only Eddie in his line of sight, he couldn't see the others behind him. So he didn't see Jeff making kissy faces, Gareth making a circle with his hand and sticking a finger through it repeatedly, or Grant making a V with his fingers and flapping his tongue between them.

"Those traitorous lechers covet what is mine. And not even Robin seeks to protect your virtue!", Eddie said, desperately reaching out for Steve.

Steve kept his voice even and calm, trying to soothe his husband from whatever delusion he was having when the doctor came in. This guy looked like he played a doctor on tv. Chiseled jaw with perfectly manicured facial hair.

"Good evening", he greeted.

"Hi", Steve said, voice a little breathy.

"Oh he's perfect", Robin said, reading her friend perfectly.

"I'm Dr. Morip, I'll be performing your operation today."

"Morip?", Eddie tilted his head.

"Yes, as in 'more ripped than you'." Then he flexed and busted out of his scrubs and swept Steve off his feet, ignoring the cries of the invalid on the bed.

Eddie was tossing and turning even as Steve shook his shoulders to wake him up.

"You were having a nightmare", Steve spoke softly in the dim lamp light of the hospital room. "Was it 86 again?"

"Steve!", Eddie clung to him as best as he could. "You didn't leave me for Dr. Morip!"

"Dr. Morip? Eddie, her name is Dr. Hudson. And she's married and in her sixties."

Everything caught up with Eddie as his brain became more lucid. He'd already had the operation. That had all been a dream. The tension released instantly as he realized he wasn't about to die on the table and Steve would be scooped up by opportunistic friends.

"You're mine, you know that?"

"Really? Is that why I'm hand-feeding you ice cream?", Steve teased, holding up a spoonful to Eddie's lips.

"I love you", Eddie said, voice muffled from the food and a little watery too.

"I know, you dope. Love you too."

[annievrse]

tonight you are mine

guitarist!eren x fem!reader —ᡣ𐭩 fic summary: sasha invites you to a gig with her new band, which leads to a certain guitarist taking an immediate interest in you. warnings: she/her pronouns, a little suggestive (not really), singing (yes, this is a warning). w/c: 3k a/n: i took this from my other blog, rewrote it for eren, and here we are. i will admit it was lazy of me, but i love that fic so much i had to have it for eren <3 [images from pinterest].

“I promise you’ll love them. They’re like brothers to me,” Sasha giggled. “This is gonna be awesome!” 

You smiled as she spoke over the sound of her Doc Martens slapping the concrete. Sasha carried a tote bag full of what you didn’t know. All you had was your phone and a lip gloss tube, clueless about why Sasha insisted on taking so many belongings to the gig. 

Sasha only joined her band as a lead singer last month, and you hadn’t seen them perform yet. After almost failing your mid-terms, you and Sasha met at a study group last semester. You were in different majors, so hang-outs weren’t as frequent, hence why you hadn’t met her other friends yet–save for Jean, who had ploughed into a study session and demanded Sasha’s attention one afternoon and ended with the three of you in a club. Only this semester did you actually share another class with Sasha and Jean, which allowed you to become closer. You had never met the other two original band members – Eren and Armin, and the rest of her friend group – Connie and Mikasa, who both had no musical bones in their bodies. 

Sasha had you listen to some demos over the few weeks she had been a part of it all, and you were beyond proud of your friend.

“I think there’ll be a huge turnout tonight. Eren told his college friends, and Armin invited his study group. But Mikasa is visiting her brother and Connie… I assume he’s gonna show up; who knows, though,” Sasha shook her head. “Anyway, I can’t wait to get out there,” She grabbed your arm, a wide grin on her lips. “Aren’t you so excited? I am. I want you to hear these songs so badly.” 

Your heart doubled in size as you listened. Sasha was completely enamoured with the band despite only being in it for a short period, and you guessed that’s what made the boys so grateful to have her around—she was just as passionate as they were. 

You smiled brightly at her and nodded. “I’m so proud of you, Sash. Soon, I’ll be waiting hours to get front-row at your concerts.” Then you widen your eyes jokingly. “I’ll have to fight teenagers to get tickets!”  

Sasha stopped you and turned toward you. She wore a giddy smile and shook her head. “You won’t be in line. You’ll be backstage. Duh.” Then she latched onto your other arm and shook your shoulders, both of you sharing the same elation, laughing together.

“Hey! What’re you girls doing?” A voice called from a car. You didn’t think Sasha’s smile could get any bigger until she peeked around you to wave at her bandmate. Jean sat in his beat-up Subaru on the curb. Sasha grabbed your hand and pulled you along toward the car. 

“Just discussing our future success,” She exclaimed, opening the passenger door and sliding in. You got in the backseat and watched Sasha yank the aux cord from Jean’s hand. Jean rolled his eyes and put his foot on the accelerator, pulling away from the sidewalk and back into the traffic. 

“Hi, Y/n,” Jean greeted, ignoring Sasha’s rambling about a new song she heard. 

You smiled at him in the rearview mirror. “Hey, you ready?”

Jean nodded, wincing at the volume of the music that started playing before he shouted over the music. “Born ready.” 

Sasha sang the lyrics to a song you’d never heard before Jean turned it down. “How did your date with Nic go? You never got back to me.” 

Sasha instantly reddened. Niccolo was a guy in her food technology class who had asked her out with beef ravioli and roses. “Good…” 

“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” You laugh. Sasha spun around in her seat, her grin wide. 

“Ugh, fine! Since you both want to hear about it so bad,” She teased. 

Jean shook his head. “Not really, I was just being nice...” He mumbled. 

Sasha ignored him as she spoke. “It was so perfectly incredible! The pasta was mind-blowing, and he brought this wine, and when I tell you, it was perfectly paired with the beef, oh! Everything was so perfect.” 

“Perfect, huh?” Your lips were pulled into a side smile at how often she used the word ‘perfect’. 

“It’s okay to be jealous, Y/n,” Sasha laughed, then she cupped her mouth playfully so only Jean could hear. “She hasn’t gotten with anyone for months.” Sasha threw you a teasing look and a cheeky smile before returning her gaze to the road. 

Your mouth opened and closed after hearing her, no words forming on your lips as Jean laughed. You sighed obnoxiously and turned your attention to your phone. The pair in the front shared a few whispers before Jean spoke.

“We’re sorry, Y/n. I bet there’ll be someone here tonight. There’s a lot of people coming.” He said, no hint of sarcasm in his tone. You met his eyes through the rearview mirror. “But I know Eren needs some, too, jeez!” 

Sasha slapped Jean on the shoulder. “No! I will not let him anywhere near my beautiful Y/n.” It was the first time since this morning that you’d heard her voice so serious. “She will not be his rebound.” 

“Yeah, I don’t want to be a rebound, Jean. But thanks, though.” You falsely smiled and looked out the window. The sun had started setting a half hour ago, and the sky was painted a deep tangerine. 

“Just saying! Ever since he broke up with Historia, he’s been so pissed off. Nearly had my head on a stick because I ordered tomatoes on his sandwich. He’s fucking crazy!” 

You had heard stories of Eren, mostly from Sasha. Tall, green-eyed, goofy, and moody. He intrigued you, yet you’d never seen him. 

“Okay, Y/n. Jean and I are going backstage for like 20 minutes. Will you be okay on your own? I don’t want to leave you alone, and I know you hate that.” Sasha explained as the car pulled into a parking spot behind the small venue. 

You nodded in approval and got out of the car.  “Yeah, that’s fine, don’t worry about me. Go be a rockstar.” 

You stood at the front of the crowd, securing the spot the moment you entered the doors of the building. As expected, the venue was packed. Knowing Sasha was beyond ecstatic, you didn't doubt she was a little nervous. 

Your mouth was sticky from the fresh layer of lip gloss you applied not 2 minutes ago, and you moved your lips together to ensure it was evenly coated. You wiped the corners of your mouth with your fingertips, and a short cough rang through the room, indicating one of the band member's microphones was on. You looked up and noticed an unfamiliar set of eyes focused on you. Your gaze quickly darted away to notice Jean already sitting at his place behind the drums and again to see another new face on the other side of the stage. A boy with blonde hair held a bass guitar. All who was missing from the stage was Sasha. 

Suddenly, the lights turned a deep purple, and the chords of ‘Monodrama’ started playing through the speakers. You looked back towards the first guy whose hair hung in his eyes as he plucked at his guitar strings, his body hunched over slightly. You watched him in curiosity and confusion. Were they starting without Sasha? 

But your question was soon answered when Sasha came running out on stage, a microphone up to her lips as she sang the first line. Your face broke out in a smile. As the song continued, you saw her become more comfortable in front of this many people. She pointed at you and jumped around. 

You nodded to the beat, mouthing the lyrics you knew before your eyes drifted to the brunette electric guitarist. Eren. As he played, his eyes met yours again. His dimples indented his face as he smirked, tongue poking his right cheek. You felt your face go warm, and soon, he leaned forward into his mic to join Sasha on the chorus. You were in awe of how well their voices went together. He knew what he was doing and wasn’t afraid to show it. 

Eren opened his eyes to see you staring at him after the chorus. Shivers ran down his spine as he watched you sing the words to the song he wrote. Sure, many girls had done exactly what you were doing, but the difference was he knew who you were—Sasha’s best friend. The girl who his bandmate never shut up about, and Eren had been eager to meet you. He continued your minor stare-off, grinning smugly to himself when you broke the eye contact, a smile of your own pulling at your lips. 

The lights had turned blue throughout the song, highlighting Eren's high cheekbones and jawline. You had to force your eyes away from him to gain control over yourself.

Once the fourth song ended, Sasha spoke to Eren before she went backstage for a break. Her shoes were killing her. Four songs of jumping around. Four songs of a game of cat and mouse to start between you and Eren. One would look away when the other glanced in their direction, and only thrice had you caught each other staring.

You watched as Eren walked up to the lead microphone, his Converse only feet away from you. Expecting a new song to start, you kept your eyes on the bass drum to stop yourself from looking up at Eren. You didn’t expect him to take a step forward and crouch before you. Your eyebrows raised when he held your gaze, his fingers moving in a lazy come hither motion. When you pushed onto your toes, he leaned down to your ear, his hot breath on your neck. His palm rested on the side of your neck, no doubt feeling your pulse racing.

“Next one’s for you.” He said. His voice was so thick you’d think this throat was lined with honey, golden and sweet, and the crowd around you faded as your ears rang. Eren pulled away from you and used his ring-clad finger to brush the tip of your nose. Your ears went hot, and you took a deep breath to control your racing heart.

Maybe being a rebound wasn't such a bad idea when the culprit looked like him. Sasha would have your neck for even thinking that.

The room turned green, and for a second, you thought you must've fallen into a dream. Eren towered over you, his teeth pulling at his bottom lip as he adjusted the microphone stand, maintaining eye contact with you. It was a sensual moment that should only occur in the depths of the night in a bedroom. His dimples and devilish smile were the cause of the butterflies in your stomach, and you had never felt under such scrutiny. But it was an illusive feeling to be the focal point of his attention.

You knew the song as soon as Eren started playing. Tonight You Are Mine. The sound brought you out of your daze. 

“This is a new song I wrote, like, last week,” Eren said before the crowd cut him off. His soft laugh echoed through the room as the noise died, his eyes finding yours again. “We’re gonna play it for you tonight if that’s okay?” 

Sasha gave you the demo of this one only four days ago, as she said you needed to hear it before tonight’s show. The song was one she was excited to learn, and who were you to deny her of sharing her passion? So you listened. And you listened and listened and told Sasha it was your favourite yet. And it was. The song was wholly sultry, and you returned to it each time you put your headphones on.

She must’ve passed on the news. 

In a sense, I'm such a mess watching you The air is cold, so hard to breathe Still, your breath is all I see

You could hardly breathe when he looked at you like that, played his guitar, and sang intimate lyrics to you. You were utterly entranced by his voice, hands, and smile. He looked ethereal on stage, like he was destined to be on one. 

Don't be so naive You know that you are all I see

To your disappointment and relief, he broke eye contact with you only a few times—you weren’t sure how long you could stand under his intimidating and dizzying gaze. 

But, it only spurred you on more. It made you believe you also had some power in this uncharted territory. You watched him sing through your eyelashes, the rasp in his voice making you warm. 

So let me slip inside your ultraviolet disguise The daylight holds you close But tonight, you are mine

Eren’s eyes were heavy-lidded as he played through the guitar solo. He knew it was inevitable that he would have to face you after the show; sometimes, the thrill of performing made him cocky. He hoped you’d still like him when you discovered he was reserved when he wasn’t in front of a crowd. Yet, none of his insecurities deterred him from wanting you. Because when you looked at him like that, he needed nothing more. 

After the song finished, Eren winked at you, and you desperately needed to get out of the crowd, go outside, and fill your lungs with cool, fresh air that would free you from the irrational thoughts in your head. You didn’t know the guy, but still, you wanted him more than anything. 

Sasha’s voice brought you back to earth.

“Thank you for coming out tonight, everyone! I hope you had a good night and liked our music enough to return.” She laughed. It was obvious everyone in the room had fallen in love with her personality throughout the night. Sasha carried herself with such self-assurance it was difficult to find why you wouldn’t like her.

The burning on your cheek was the only thing to pull your eyes away from her grand smile. Your eyes flickered to Eren, who stood off to the side with his guitar. His hair was now tied back in a half-up style, and you swore your knees almost buckled.

As everyone filtered out, you remained in your spot. Sasha came bounding over and jumped down to stand with you.

“Did you have a good time?” You could see she was nervous to ask.

“Of course I did! And you played my favourite song,” You replied, grabbing her hand in reassurance. Sasha smiled sheepishly. 

“Well, I didn’t play it. Someone else did.” 

“Well, someone told the other someone to play it, so.” 

Sasha wiggled her eyebrows, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I saw how he was looking at you. I knew he would like you; who wouldn’t?” 

You rolled your eyes, heat rushing to your cheeks. 

“But, you’re still off-limits. That wouldn't be fair until he gets over his ex,” Sasha rambled before she stopped and straightened up. “And that’s my cue to leave.”

You looked at her hesitantly, unsure why she would be saying that. “What?” 

“Bye, Y/n. Hey, Ren." Then she pointed him behind you. "Don't fuck this up."  You assumed he made a face at her from behind you because she laughed and walked backstage.

You’d never felt your stomach drop and your heart rate speed up in such synchrony. He was the devil in Converse and a black tee. 

“Y/n.” Your name on his lips was something you could get used to. 

“Eren.” You said, turning to face him. 

“So you do know me.” He was taller than you. A lot taller than you assumed, and it made your legs weak. “I was under the impression that you only knew Jean.” 

You shrugged. “Sasha mentioned you a few times, so I had to come and check out these band guys she was hanging around.” 

“Final verdict?” Eren’s mouth was pulled into a smile at the corners, his arms outstretched. 

You purposefully took your time to make a decision. Taking a step back, you sized him up. He stood still, bringing his arms to cross over his chest as you eyed his tied-back hair. You rubbed your chin in false thought and then nodded.

Feeling bold, you looked him in the eyes. “Yeah, you’re cute. And talented. So, I guessed you’re alright.” 

Eren’s cheeks were dusted with pink as he laughed. You smiled proudly, pleased you got the reaction you’d wanted from him. 

He then moved closer to you and leaned down so his eyes aligned with yours. “Well, I find you alright too. How’d you feel if I asked you to hang out in about…” He twisted his mouth in thought, his eyes flickering down to your lips. “Half an hour?” 

You bit the inside of your lip. “That would depend on what we would be doing.” 

Eren stood to his full height with an unconcerned expression as he uncrossed his arms and opened himself to you. “Whatever you want. My treat.” 

You tilted your head, studying him. “Tempting.” His lopsided smirk and tired green eyes were too easy to fall for.

“But, yes. I would like that," You said, giving up on the teasing.

His lips slipped into an easy grin, and he nodded, throwing this thumb over his shoulder. “Sweet. I’ll be back here in half an hour to take you on our date.” He winked.

You shook your head, laughing as he stepped up onto the stage. “Not a date!” 

Eren didn’t turn back to face you as he replied. “We’ll see!” 

Were you in too deep too quick?

songs mentioned: - tonight you are mine - the technicolors - monodrama - benches

[lavernius]

OK here’s my essay about Lopez and instruments.

By nature of being a robot I usually operate under the headcanon that he can learn basically anything with little research, with the caveat that he has no real creativity or artistic direction of his own. And I like translating this exactly into AUs where he’s human, because it’s a funny trait to give a human character. Can make anything, but only if given a blueprint.

So in a hypothetical situation where he has to make music, he could pick up anything with relative ease, but he’s not a musician in any way. He doesn’t even really like music—excepting that in AUs where Lopez is a normal human man of color I like to let him embrace his culture and enjoy, like, cumbia and stuff—and prefers deafening, uncomfortable, painful silence to most genres of music.

But if you gave him sheet music for a Chopin piece and sat him at a piano, he’d be playing at average skill within, like, two hours. He can sight read while playing. He knows how to tune a guitar to drop C from standard by ear. Sarge made him try the violin and he was fine. He keeps perfect rhythm and pitch. He can’t sing, but that’s just because his voice is unnaturally flat and he hates using it unnecessarily.

Absolutely can’t make music for shit. Can’t jam, can’t riff, can’t fiddle around, can’t even hum nonsense; if it’s not sheet music he’s a lost cause. Not his problem, anyway, he hates music. But if, say, Red Team wanted to start a band, and they wouldn’t let him JUST be their tech (like he wants and prefers), what would he play? What fits him as a person, thematically and stylistically?

He would be cute as a guitarist. He’s extremely dextrous, given how much he works with small components and how quickly he can fix things. Could shred with ease and not flub a note. He doesn’t really have the stage presence for it, being as he’s stiff and monotonous, and he’d complain about damaging his hands, which are his livelihood as far as he’s concerned.

Bass guitar is a good candidate. It’s subtle, deep, heavy, but there’s a distinct feeling of support from the bass—it’s something that doesn’t need to be there, but when it is, it provides a strong foundation for the guitar to lie on. Lopez fits its sound, but the role is too romantic for him. He’s not a supportive person. He doesn’t have the luxury of being optional.

Keyboard might be fine. Electronic instruments like drum pads and synthesizers are thematically fitting, seeing as he’s a robot. It doesn’t really fit his image, though, playing something so elegant and polite in nature.

Then you get to the esoteric, funny options, but Lopez doesn’t stick out and doesn’t want to. Anything too distinctive is out of the question, because it draws attention to him.

And thus my argument: he would best fit the drums, because rhythm is nigh necessary, and drums are often aggressive, precise. Drums are audible and noticeable in songs, but they’re also extremely easy to overlook and tune out.

They carry more than they do just support—rhythm makes or breaks a performance. And the drummer is often far back, center stage, highlighted in their importance but easily overshadowed by the rest of the instruments. The frenzy of drumming fits his quiet anger, and the lack of pitch fits his monotony.

(Tapping mic) Is this thing even on. Can anyone hear me

[mac-lilly]

An awesome team (in the making)

Sneak peek at the "Life with Derek"-inspired AU

*****

The door of her locker got slammed shut, and Julie jumped like a startled cat. But she did not scream. Most certainly not.

“Nice voice, Molina.”

Okay, maybe she did scream. Just a little.

Julie huffed, frustrated. She recognized that voice. Of course, she did.

There was not a single student (or member of staff) at Los Feliz Performing Arts School who didn’t know Luke Patterson’s voice. Because Luke was a lot of things – but never, NEVER, silent.

Scowling, she turned around, and there he was: Luke Patterson with his ridiculously outdated haircut, washed-out band tee, and ripped jeans. Oh, and his stupid grin that was absolutely not adorable. Nope, absolutely not.

“What?!” she snapped at him.

“Whoa, hold your horses.” Luke raised his hands in mock surrender, but his grin turned into a smirk. It did not make Julie’s heart stutter! “I come in peace.”

Julie scoffed, though she wasn’t as upset by his ambush as she would have been under normal circumstances. Actually, she had meant to talk to him.

While they shared a handful of classes and used to be in the music program (before Julie had dropped out), their paths didn’t really cross. They moved in completely different circles. Before her mother’s death, she’d mostly hung out with Flynn, Carrie, and the other girls that formed Dirty Candi. These days, it was just Flynn. But still!

Luke, on the other hand, was in a rock band. And as far as Julie could judge, that was all he ever cared about. He most certainly did not care about school. Luke was chaotic and disruptive, and Julie wondered if he would stay until graduation. With his silly outfits and questionable antics, he was the walking cliché of a rebellious punk-rock teen straight from the early ‘90s.  

So, yeah, they did not mingle. Usually.

“What do you want?”

“Covington assigned partners for the group project.”

Julie frowned at him. “He never assigns pairs.”

“True,” Luke said, rocking on his heels, hands behind his back. Julie sighed. Luke was always like this. Too bouncy. Too fidgety. There was too much energy in him. But today, it seemed worse than usual. “But he did this time.”

Julie huffed. “Great.” That was just great. So much for the grandiose plan she and Flynn had been working on. “Well, thanks for letting me know—”

She cut herself off, caught off-guard by the look on Luke’s face. His smirk turned more sinister, and there was a manic glint in his eye. A horrible realization dawned on her. She gaped at Luke. “No!”

“Yup!” Luke beamed at her and even had the audacity to pump his fist into the air.

Julie didn’t buy it. Folding her arms, she eyed him suspiciously. “Mr Covington hates you.” He’d never team them up.

“He does,” Luke confirmed without a care in the world. His expression turned smug. “Meanwhile, you’re the apple of his eye.”

Julie paled first, then a hot flush blossomed on her face. “I’m not– He–”

Luke smirked triumphantly, and Julie groaned.

“Fine, whatever,” she snapped. “But you better don’t mess this up, Luke.”

Luke saluted. His smile never wavered. “Don’t worry, Boss. I’d never.” He winked at her. “We’re gonna make an awesome team, Julie.” And then he turned and bounded down the corridor to where his friends were waiting for him. There was a fucking spring to his step.

Julie let out another groan, annoyed. Luke wouldn't put in any effort into this project. He never did. She rolled her eyes as she turned to her locker again.

However, when she opened her locker again, she couldn’t help the smile that crept on her lips.

For once, the universe was working in her favor. 

[bethaven]

When I was fifteen I was very lonely. All my school friends were fine and all, but I somehow felt like noone really understood me. This is very normal for a teenager, and it’s also very normal for that teenager to seek attention somewhere else. At this time internet had just broke through for real and I did seek validation at music forums and communities. Finding other fans of my favourite band turned out to be a lifesaver, and something that'd change my life forever. 

I met T through a forum for that fandom and we immidiately started talking, a lot. Endless chats about the band, our lives and general thoughts and feelings. She quickly became my best friend, even though we hadn't even met yet. She lived quite far away, but was originally from the same town as me, so when summer arrived she was there to visit family and we met for the first time. I can still see so clearly how our looks met in the middle of a crowd outside the mall, and we just ran into each other's arms. It was like coming home. During the upcomming days we went to the local amusement park and went on all the rides. I was very afraid of most of them before this, but with her I was so safe I just did it. I felt like I was growing up for real, becoming my own person and living my best life, just because she was there.

But, T was not okay. She was sick. Her mental illnes spiraled over the years and I tried everything to make her better. Because I definitely saw it as my duty to fix her, to help her, to dry away all the tears and change everything for the better. Grown ups didn't get it and they were just trying to make her do things she didn't want. I needed to be there. Living far away in all of this was hard, it came with a lot of worry between the messages and calls. I definitely didn't tell my parents exactly how far of T was, I was so afraid they wouldn't allow me to keep her in my life. By the time she was admitted to a home to get help I'd turned 18 and they couldn't say anything when i went to see her. I knew they were worried and didn't completely approve of our friendship, but they also knew that they couldn't stop us. 

Our relationship was intense, deeply loving, complicated, amazing, important and inevitably short. After about five years together it fell apart, I can’t even really remember how. We'd crossed over from teens to young adults and somehow we needed something else by then. I see her face flash by on Facebook sometimes. I know she became a mother a few years ago, which always was her biggest dream. I hope she's ok and gets all she wished for. Part of me will always feel a bit torn by the fact that I wasn't able to fix everything and part of me knows that I couldn't.

All of this makes me think about Nick in Heartstopper and how he carries the weight of Charlie's mental illness on his shoulders. The feeling of having to be the one to fix everything, even though noone have demanded that of you. When the one you love have done so many amazing things for you, so you don't want them to suffer in any way and you're willing to do everything to fix all their problems. As Sarah Nelson tells her son; “Love can't cure a mental illness”. We should always be there for our loved ones, but neither them nor we should expect us to perform miracles. We and them need help. 

I wish I knew this when I was a lonely teenager, and I wish for others in the same situation to get proper support and help. 

No End was our song, which became painfull when it all fell apart. There was an end, there often is. But what we had was still mainly something good, I learned that I deserved good friendships full of love and I wouldn't be who I am today without her. T, this playlist's for you. Thanks for everything.

[peacesells-imbuying]

Nasty or Sami (demolition 23 era PLEAAASSEEE bc they were so smedndnehrb) with a strong girlfriend. Like she looks normal, hardly muscular, very scrawny, TURNS OUT SHE DID WEIGHT LIFTING AND GYMNASTICS WHEN SHE WAS A TEENAGER AND HAS THE STRENGTH OF A FULLY GROWN MAN IN THE MILITARY AND NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL THEM. ("Babe do you need help with that-" "No it's fine-" *comically picks up what is an extremely heavy object with no struggle whatsoever.* "What. Since when could you do that." "I used to do weight lifting... I did gymnastics for (home country) and won gold multiple times." "AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?" "You didn't ask..?")

love strong women 🥰 hope you like this!

SAMI

You and Sami were moving to another apartment in New York. Everything was carefully packed in separate boxes and labeled. Sami was arriving back after doing a performance with his band. “Hey…woah. You’re going to break your back, let me do it.” You shrugged and just allowed him. “Sure…” Less work for you!

So Sami practically did all the carrying into the truck. Unpacking though, you took care of it. “Sami it’s fine. I can carry it!” Yes Sami believe you could, but did not want you to be injured. The box was at least 125 pounds. Your outward appearance was just skinniness, barely any muscles and scrawny but you’re very hot. 

So you went inside the huge moving truck, Sami behind you. His jaw dropped instantly as you picked up the 125 pound box like a feather. “How!” You set the box down into the living room area. “What do you mean?” “You carried that so easily, how!” You did a “ohh”.

“I used to do weight lifting... I did gymnastics for (home country) and won gold multiple times." You said proudly with a smudge look on your face. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?” You side eyed him a bit. “Because you never asked!” Sami sighed. “Well happy to know my own girlfriend is stronger than almost every guy, including me. Hotter too.” You playfully rolled your eyes, kissing his cheek. You knew he was going to be bragging to his friends. But didn’t mind a single bit. 

NASTY

Nasty had asked helped from you ealier, saying “Hey, can you help me move the table?” The table wasn’t an ordinary table, it was a very large that required more than 2 people to move it. But it was just the two of you, better than nothing. 

“Yeah.” There you and Nasty stood at the end of a corner. “Wait…it might be too heavy. I don’t want you to break your body-“oh come on, I doubt it’ll be that heavy.” He shrugged and trusted you. “3..2…1.” You both lifted it, for Nasty, his side of the table was really light. Only because you were caring most of the weight. 

You both placed the table down. “Since when were you that strong?” Nasty had realized earlier and was now shocked. “Since I was a little teenager. I was into sports and weightlifting.” You had a huge smirk of pride plastered on your face. “Not only are you hot, but you’re so fucking strong. Damn.” He whispered kissing you. 

Your face became so red. “Totally.” You both just laughed. “Should’ve told me sooner.” He frowned a bit. “Maybe you should’ve asked me earlier.” You poked your tongue out. “Whatever.” Nasty snickered. 

[rock-and-roll-hell]

December 12, 1976 (Or the day Ace Gets Shocked)

Rock And Roll Over Tour

Lakeland Civic Center - Lakeland, Florida

📸 Kevin Witte

During the opening number, 'Detroit Rock City', Ace touched the metal railing on the stage left staircase, which was ungrounded. He was nearly electrocuted. "When Frehley touched the railing to help himself come down, he completed an electrical circuit with his guitar and was unable to move. He finally fell several feet to the stage floor but was miraculously unhurt. " (Charles M. Young, Rolling Stone Magazine).

The platform was next to Peter’s drum set, and his drum tech Chuck Elias was well positioned and saw what was happening. “It happened very fast,” he later said, “right at the beginning of the show and basically right above my head. Ace was standing on top of the stairs. I saw him grabbing the rail and not being able to move, and then eventually hitting the ground. We were up there instantly, but he was stunned more than anything else, which was lucky because it could have been life-threatening.”

The show was promptly stopped as Frehley was carried back to the wardrobe by the crew. After resting for a bit, Frehley felt better. Declining further medical assistance, he told the others that the was fine to go through with the show. Everything got reset, and after a 30-minute delay, KIϟϟ restarted the show from the top.

Ace later said he played even though he had no feeling in his hands : "I knew it for an instant and then I blacked out. I woke up behind the amplifiers, I said, 'I can’t play.' Then the fans started chanting my name and I finished the show. But I had no feeling in my hands. I don’t know how I even did it. I guess it was all adrenaline."

The incident led to the band using radio mics to free themselves from completing electrical circuits and remove cables as hindrances during their performances. Within months New York based company Ken Schaffer Group, Inc. had seen a massive increase in acts moving to their wireless Schaffer-Vega Diversity System.

Gene also set his hair on fire during this show.

[styxbugg]

Have some basic ideas and concepts for my fraggle rock human au, cause I’ve thought a lot about it (i like it :) ) but have yet to write anything down

UNDER THE CUT CAUSE THERE’S A LOT OF STUFF!!!!!!

FIRST OF ALL it’s a college au, cause ive always imagined them to be about that kind of age. They’re all either freshman or sophomores— they’re in the same grade, just either one would work. They’re room assignments are also the same as in the show, with boober having scored a single

As for majors/minors/activies/character roles:

Gobo: majors in anthropology, and minors in music. Wouldn’t be apart of any official band programs, but would be that one guy who carries his guitar everywhere

Red: majors in creative writing and/or media studies. She’s on the hockey team, the swimming team, and does track (at least). Maybe she does percussion for one of the school bands

Mokey: double majors in creative writing and art. Very involved in all the theater companies on campus, and will eventually write a play for one of them to perform. Will hold impromptu jazz jam sessions

Wembley: undecided. His current strategy is to take classes in as many different majors as possible (it’s not really working out). Is in the pit for the marching band

Boober: majors in hospitality and culinary (maybe one of those is a minor?) He helps out with theater sometimes and would definitely get an on campus job in one of the dining halls

Cotterpin: majors in architecture and engineering, minors in art, and would later get a masters in buisness management. Shes also in the marching band pit. She is overworking herself

Wrench: majors in engineering. Im honestly not sure what else hed do :(

Marjory: that one old history professor that everyone loves. Philo and gunge are her teaching assistants

Architect: runs the architecture and engineering programs

Uncle matt: an alum of the school who got somewhat famous and now regularly donates to it. There’s a lot of wings and benches named after him

Other stuff:

Mokey is the only one from the main five that cotterpins not friends with, even though shes the only one cotterpin has classes with. They just never talk

Gobo regularly forces his friends on hikes around campus

Marooned happens when red is trying to distract boober from his surprise party and shoves him in a storage closet. They both get locked in there over night. Boober effectively freaks her out by telling her how easy itd be for them to starve to death in there (they’re fine tho)

That’s most of what i got :) suggestions for doc or the gorgs would be appreciated, ive got very few ideas

[enthusiasticharry]

𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 10.6k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: surprise!! third chapter is here. i've had some time off and i was in such a flow that i got this out in less than a week. however, one thing i need to say is that this chapter is very heavy and please check the trigger warnings before you read! if you don't, and then complain i won't be very happy. i am very proud of this chapter, and i would love to know what you all think of it, so please come and chat to me about it!!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, drug and alcohol abuse, assault (grab of the arm), overdose, harry being a 70s rockstar pt.3 but also a wholesome cutie.

𝐩𝐥𝐬 𝐤𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟐 here

Los Angeles, Winter 1972

“Ronnie, this isn’t working,” YN speaks into the microphone, jutting her hip out and focusing her gaze on the man sitting by the bar, a cigarette in his mouth.

“It sounds fine, YN,” Ronnie mumbles back, waving his hand as though he doesn’t care about anything the girl was saying at all – which was true.

“No, it doesn’t sound fine,” YN shook her head, pushing her hair off her face, “The band is too loud and I’m too quiet.”

“YN, you sound fine out here,” Ronnie picked up his bourbon glass, not even looking at the girl on the stage anymore, “Just carry on.”

YN wasn’t going to take this. Lifting her hand up to block out the bright lights from above the stage, she scanned her surroundings until she saw the man in charge of the sound sitting behind his desk, right at the back.

“Excuse me,” The man’s ears perked up at the sound of YN’s voice. He looked around, as though she wasn’t actually talking to him but then she nodded, “Yes, you. Can you either turn the band down a little or turn me up?”

“Yeah,” He nodded, a little enthusiastically which made YN laugh.

“Thank you,” She beamed, turning her attention back to Ronnie who was shaking his head at her, “Shall we take that from the top?”

Today was YN’s album release show.

It was her album. The record that she had poured blood, sweat and tears into and the man in charge of her performance was too interested in his bourbon to hear that the sound wasn’t working. She knew that it was going to be hard, a woman in this industry trying to actually be something – she just didn’t know that it was going to be like this.

When YN had recorded her album, and Leroy had said to her that she needed a performance manager – she was thrilled that the label was even thinking about her performing. When she first met Ronnie, he was obviously drunk out of his mind and YN had immediately gone back to Leroy and asked for literally anyone else. She asked for a woman, but there weren’t any and there literally wasn’t anybody else but Ronnie who the label was willing to give her.

That made more sense to her the more that she got to know him.

The band started to play It’s Killing Me behind her, and the second that YN started to sing she knew it sounded so much better and was thankful that someone in this place was listening to her.

“I need you to know/ Read the letters that I wrote on the wall/ And all the things we said/ And all the broken promises we made/ If there was something else in life/ I’d still always walk with you.”

YN had written all of these songs, the melodies, everything how she had wanted them. It had taken her a while, going through a lot of drummers, bassists, guitarists, and keyboardists to be happy with the band that she now had who could play her songs how she wanted.

Isaac, the bassist, was quiet and a little reserved. In between recording, rehearsing and anything else that they would be doing he would often be calling his girlfriend back home in Ohio. He was lovely, and he loved his girlfriend, Sammie, so YN didn’t mind what he spent his free time doing.

Jacob, the guitarist, was the complete opposite of Isaac but they were the best of friends. They had known each other since they were kids and moved to Los Angeles together with the dream of making music. YN had that same dream, and she was happy that she had been the one to help their dream become a reality. Jacob was loud, and sometimes so obnoxious that YN had to tell him to shut up, but he was as good as they got when it came to his craft – unfortunately for her.

Twin duo Chris and Heather were the last two members of the band, and probably the two that YN had become closest with. Heather, the keyboardist, was the relief in the band for YN, and she had slotted in with her and Vivienne perfectly, and they had become a trio of sorts – doing everything together. Chris, the drummer, was a member of the band that caused YN’s heart to race every time she saw him. Everything about him made YN want him, and she supposed that everything about her made him want him too.

They had been sleeping together since the first week of recording.

As the drums kicked in, she turned and smiled at him. He beamed back at her, and it egged her to sing even better.

“And it’s killing me to want you more/ I want your body and I want your mind/ And it’s killing me, it’s killing me/ To know what good it can do/ And it’s killing me, it’s killing me/ To let you go.”

YN turned to Heather and laughed so hard that her shoulders shook, and Heather couldn't help but beam a smile at her. All in all no matter what grimaces the girl may have with her band, they were everything that she had dreamed of and more.

Once the bridge kicked in, and the tempo picked up YN could have cried. This was her song, just hers and she would be singing it to a sold-out venue in a few hours. It was crazy to her. Ronnie had done fuck to get her here, but she would thank Leroy every day for the rest of her life.

That being said, getting her record deal had taken a little longer than she had expected. The first set of songs that she had written, Leroy had turned around and said they were shit. She then had to write them all again and perform them over and over again to crowds every night, as she had done before until the record label was happy enough to allow her to record.

Her aim to have her album recorded in a month after her conversation with Harry was probably the adrenaline talking, and it had taken over half a year for her to get here, but she was here now.

“If there was a cloud on our sky/ There would be no time left to fly/ If there was a shadow in our light/ It would only be us.”

The chorus came around once more and as the song finished, she beamed and lifted her hands to her face. She was the happiest person alive right now.

“Was that better?” She asked once the room had gone quiet, and the man at the back of the room put his thumbs up, “Perfect.”

YN turned her attention back to Ronnie, who was finally looking at her. Even though he was a dickhead, at least he knew what good music was, and finally understood that she was right. YN then turned to Isaac who stood, bass to chest and cigarette hanging from his lips.

“During the bridge, you can really go for it if you want,” She said to him, and he nodded, “Play it like you did in the studio but doubled.”

“Will do,” He laughed, turning back to his conversation with Jacob that he was having.

Walking over to the platform that Chris was sitting on, YN gave him a fleeting glance before she picked up her flask that she had left there and took a swig. She didn’t know what time it was, but the sun was just about to set when they arrived, so she guessed that there wasn’t long until she had to go get ready.

“Ronnie?’ She spoke into the mic, and even though she couldn’t see his face up close, she was pretty sure that he was rolling his eyes, “How long have we got?”

“You probably have time for one more,” He called back to her, “Then they have to start letting people in.”

“Okay,” YN turned to Heather, “Do you wanna run I used to know?”

“Let’s do it,” The girl smiled back at YN, smiling when the girl came to stand next to her at the piano.

There was one thing that YN knew she had to do when she was recording an album, especially so when she realised that Heather would be her keyboardist – she would write a song that was just keys and vocals. I Used to Know was the song that YN wrote for all the girls out there like her, who dreamt of something else for themselves and needed that one thing to make them believe they could do it – she hoped her song would be that for them.

Heather started to play, and YN could’ve cried. That girl was not only one of her new closest friends, but she could play the keys like her life depended on it.

“I’m sitting here on an island I used to know/ With the people I knew from everywhere/ How I wish I was there/ To take the walk and see the faces around/ All the places that we used to know/ But I remember.”

Without even thinking, YN walked around and sat on the bench with Heather, leaning her head on her friend’s shoulder. She looked over at Chris as she sang, watching him as he watched her. He just made everything so effortlessly sexy.

“I used to know what it means to be alone/ I used to know what it means to be right/ I used to know what it means to be loved/ I used to know what it means to be right.”

But then, however sexy this man in front of her maybe her mind always floated back to that one man. The one man that seemed to fall off the face of the earth the last time that she saw him, that she shared the best first experiences of her life. That face is the one that she sees when she closes her eyes and sings, the one that floats in the back of her mind when she writes.

It was Harry’s face.

“Looking in the mirror I see myself/ Doing things you’d probably never do/ Sometimes I can’t let it show/ but I’m just happy to be alive.”

That was probably why as she continued to sing, she turned away from Chris and her eyes immediately closed. It didn’t matter when, where or how she was singing this song – it always hit that place in her that she didn’t want it to.

That’s the thing about music. It’s bringing the most intimate and raw parts of her life to the surface and writing them down for everyone to hear. It is one of the most intimate forms of expression out there, and these songs were things that she was so proud of. She’d never been as proud of anything in her life.

“I used to know what it means to be alone/ It used to know what it means to be right/ I used to know what it means to be loved/ I used to know what it means to be right/ Now I never know.”

Once the song had finished, YN accepted Heather’s hug when the girl squealed with her and laughed. There was nothing that could make her happier. Or that was what she thought was the case until the door to the venue opened wide and in walked Vivienne – now she was truly happy.  

“Chris!” YN laughed as the man started to press kisses along her neck, biting every so often, “I need to get ready!”

“You look fine,” He mumbles into her neck. YN tried to wiggle out of his grip but wasn’t possible.

YN laughed and grabbed his hands and removed them from around her so that she could carry on getting ready. She had been in the green room with the rest of the band, but when she realised how long she had left to get ready, she immediately made her way towards her dressing room to get ready.

YN was in the middle of getting changed when Chris walked in, and she could almost roll her eyes at the look on his face when he saw her in the middle of pulling her lace two-piece outfit. When Vivienne and YN found this outfit, they knew that it was the one for today. It was a short bra set, made out of beige lace that came with a matching thin shawl that YN fell in love with. It didn’t help that she was just pulling the shorts on when Chris walked in.

“Have you seen Vivienne?” YN asks, standing up and walking over to her bag so that she can grab things out of her bag that she needs, “I need her to do my hair.”

“Your hair looks fine, YN,” He came back over to the girl and wrapped his arms around her waist, “You look fine, why don’t you just relax?”

“I can’t relax, Chris,” YN sighs, leaning her head back on his shoulder, “I’m about to go do my first solo performance, Chris, and I look like shit. I don’t know where Vivienne is to help me and you’re really not helping right now.”

“Okay, you’re pissed, I get it,” He fumbles for something in his pocket, “I know I’m not being the biggest help, but maybe this can.”

He pulls out a little bag, and the second YN sees it she drops her head. In the back of her mind, she knows that she shouldn’t but once he had tipped it out onto the table in front of them, she was kneeling down.

“Okay,” YN nodded, wiping her nose, and then wiping her gums, “I’m relaxing. Can you please go find Vivienne?”

Once Chris had finished his line, he looked up at her, “And what will you give me in return?”

“I’ll give you anything you want,” Now that she knows what he’s thinking, she knows exactly how to play it to her advantage, “After you’ve found Vivienne and after the show.”

He groans and leans his head back, but he nods and stands up. YN wraps her arms around his neck and presses a kiss to his lips. Just as he tries to deepen the kiss, and his hands start to wander, the door to the room opens and YN nearly cries when she notices that it’s Vivienne.

“Oh my god, where have you been?” YN immediately walks over to Vivienne, completely ignoring the fact that Chris was in the room.

“I’ve just been with Heather, babe,” Vivienne looks confused at the slightly flustered YN, but when she notices not only Chris but the powder on the table it started to make a lot more sense to Vivienne, “What do you need?”

“Can you do my hair please?” YN asked, and Vivienne nodded and walked the girl over to the dressing table. At this point, Chris had lit up a cigarette and was just sitting watching the girls.

Vivienne wasn’t the biggest fan of Chris. He was a bit stuck up his own ass and knew that he was a good drummer and obviously a handsome man. She loved Heather but couldn’t say the same about her brother. All she hoped was that YN wouldn’t fall too far into his trap and that it really just was that they were sleeping with each other. If it became anything more than that, it would not only fuck up YN, but it would probably fuck up the band too and Vivienne just hoped that wouldn’t happen.

“What are you wanting?” Vivienne asked, watching as YN ran a stressed hand over her face, “The braid crown we did the other day, yeah?”

“Yes please,” YN nodded, just allowing herself to relax and calm down before the show.

YN knew that people loved her. She had been singing in the clubs now for over two years, and she had her crowd. She had the people that loved her, the ones that she saw at all of her shows and the ones that she knew were waiting for the day that her album was out – and today was that day. There were no nerves, and no worries because people loved her. The main reason that she even had this record deal in the first place is that people loved her.

“YN!” There was banging on the door, and she could immediately tell that it was Ronnie just by the deepness of the voice, “Need you out here, now.”

“Give me a minute!” YN called, and just as Vivienne finished pinning the last bit of her hair she was up and pulling her cowboy boots up, downing the last of her wine and pushing Chris out of the door with her.

Once they were just about to go on stage, YN turned and gave Vivienne the biggest hug that she could muster.

“This is your day, babe,” Vivienne squeezed YN, “Enjoy it.”

“Couldn’t have done it without you,” YN smiled, and the next thing she knew she was walking onto the stage with her arms open out.

The sound of the crowd, once she had stepped onto the stage, was electric. It was unlike any drug in the world, and it was all that she needed. If she could hear this all day, every day she wouldn’t need anything else in life. It’s a shame that anyone has down days, but I suppose that’s the way the world works.

Once she had stepped on stage, and once Eyes on You had started nothing else mattered.

“She’s got you under her spell/ But the thought of seeing her tonight/ Makes you feel sad/ She knows you better give her right out of sight/ Cause she knows she can’t have another you, no, no.”

The song finished, and the cheering from the crowd was insane. YN turned to Vivienne who was standing at the side and laughed out loud, sharing this moment with the girl that had been with her through everything.

“How is everyone?” YN called into the microphone, laughing when the screams started. This mix of people that were here to love everything that she put into the world was her favourite, “Thank you all for coming to celebrate my record. Are you ready for some more?”

YN continued singing her entire album. She had to stop herself from crying during I Used to Know and then she finished with It’s Killing Me and people actually seemed disappointed that the show had finished. That was one of the best feelings that YN had ever felt. When she walked off stage and towards the green room, dripping with sweat but that didn’t matter when she saw Leroy and Vivienne waiting for her.

Without looking around the rest of the room she walked over to Vivienne and threw her arms around the girl.

“So proud of you, babe,” Vivienne whispered in her ear, “Even if you’re all sweaty and stinky.”

“Oh!” YN acts shocked at her friend, but she actually knows that it is the same, “Love you.”

“Love you more,” YN laughs. She then turns her attention to Leroy, who holds up his hands in front of him as if to say that he doesn’t want her to touch him, but YN doesn’t even recognise it and doesn’t wait before she wraps her arms around him.

“YN, no,” YN just laughs and squeezes him once more, “YN, let go.”

“Sorry, Leroy,” She laughs, pushing her hair out of her face, “But you deserve some love as well because I couldn’t do this without you.”

“Let’s just celebrate you, yeah?” He laughs, wrapping an arm around the girl, “And I also have a surprise for you.”

“What is it?” YN laughed, not expecting a surprise. She was thankful when she was given a shot by Vivienne.

Leroy pointed behind her, and that was when she turned and saw him.

YN had no idea that Harry would be coming tonight. If she had an idea she would’ve prepared for it, and wouldn’t have been such an adrenaline-high, sweaty mess when she stepped off stage.

“Harry,” YN felt as though she had been shot. She was frozen on-site, “Wow, I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Well,” He shrugged, “I was in town, and I heard that your album release was tonight – thought I’d show my face.”

“Well, thank you,” She smiled, wanting nothing more than to leave and reach for another shot but she knew that wasn’t a possibility, “What did you think? Of the album?”

“It’s –” Harry starts, but it isn’t possible to finish because an arm wraps around YN’s waist, and a kiss is placed on her cheek.

“Hey, babe,” YN closed her eyes to prevent her from rolling them. Chris was good in bed, and when she was high but a second later or if she was in any sort of low she would be lying if she said he didn't get a little annoying (he was a man after all), “Who is this?”

“Um,” YN lifts her hand up and itches her neck slightly, “Chris this is Harry, Harry this is Chris.”

“Hi, man,” Chris holds his hand out for Harry to shake, which he does, “Nice to meet you.”

“You too, mate,” Harry nods. His eyes flick from Chris to YN’s and back again, and YN can’t tell what that expression on his face is.

“Wait,” Chris finally removes his hands from YN and pulls a cigarette out of his pocket, “You’re Harry Styles, right? YN sang on your song?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Harry nods, “And you’re her drummer, right?”

“And her boyfriend,” YN’s eyes widen, and she flicks her head to Chris, giving him a glare as she does, “Basically, we are.”

YN shakes her head, “We’re not, Chris.”

“Whatever,” He shrugs, “I’m going over there where the fun is, I’ll leave you two here to your boring conversation.”

With that, he stumbles off, and YN lets out a sigh of relief. She had never been so happy to see the back of somebody before in her life.

“I’m so sorry, he’s just –”

“Don’t worry about it,” Harry shakes his head. He looks around, and YN doesn’t know what he’s looking at but she’s starting to get nervous, “Do you maybe wanna go outside, and share a bottle of champagne for old times' sake?”

“Yeah,” YN laughed, “I’ll go source the alcohol and meet you outside?”

“Perfect,” He laughs.

Chris is the last thought in her mind right now. She would be lying if Harry hadn’t been on her mind since she last saw him, and the fact that he had not only known about her album and her show but had shown up to it caused the biggest butterflies in YN’s stomach that she had ever had. She hadn’t seen that man in months, and yet for some reason, he still knew how to get under her skin without even trying.

Once YN had sourced the champagne, which was conveniently waiting for her just by the bar table, she spotted an already rolled joint on a plate with some other things and picked that up as well. She didn’t know if Harry smoked anymore, but if he didn’t, she would have it for the both of them. She was going to need it just to keep everything at bay during the conversation.

By the time YN got outside, Harry was already sitting on the stairs with a cigarette in hand. YN held the joint in one hand up to him, and the bottle of champagne in the other.

“Let’s get this party started,” Harry laughed, and it felt good. It was the first time that the energy between the two of them was nice – almost like it was that first day they met apart from their conversation outside.

It had sort of become their thing to have these conversations together, and she definitely didn’t want them to stop especially after the good one that they had last time.

“You open this, and I’ll light her up,” He nodded and threw the stump of his cigarette on the floor.

Just the same as last time, he opened the champagne with ease and non-spilt over. However, lighting the joint was certainly more YN’s speed as she did it with ease and without any issues – unlike how she was with the champagne.

“He’s…” Harry started, accepting the joint from her as he passed her the champagne bottle, “Definitely something.”

YN groaned and brought her hands up to her face. She didn’t want to have this conversation with Vivienne most days, so she definitely didn’t want to have this conversation with Harry.

“He is,” YN tips her head to the side and sighs, immediately bringing the champagne bottle up to her lips. There wasn’t anything else that she wanted to say.

“So,” Harry inhales once more before passing it to YN, “How long have you been together?”

YN shakes her head, inhaling herself, “We’re not together. We’re just… you know?”

“Having sex?” Harry spoke, running a hand through his hair as he did.

“Yeah,” YN laughed, “Having sex, I guess.”

Harry looks at her and nods, running his thumb across his lip. She couldn’t handle being under his gaze right now, so instead, she just looks straight ahead.

“And is it good, the sex?”

It wasn’t exactly the question that she expected from Harry, but I suppose she should expect the unexpected from this conversation.

“It’s okay,” YN shrugged, tapping her nail on the rim of the wine glass, “He’s there, and he’s interested.”

“But you’re not interested?”

“You met him, right?” She laughs, and he nods seeming to agree with her, “And anyway, enough about me, how are you and, uh, Molly?”

“We, uh, we broke up,” That wasn’t what YN was expecting, “A few months ago.”

“Oh,” YN exhales the joint once more before passing it to YN, “Sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay,” Harry laughed, accepting the joint from her, “You don’t need to apologise.”

“I was prying,” YN shrugged.

“You weren’t prying,” He exhaled, “You were just curious. I would have asked if I was you.”

That made her feel a little better. In all honesty, YN was curious about the entire thing. She wasn’t exactly the person that YN had expected Harry to be with, but then again, she had no idea what type of person she wanted to be with, so she had no idea whom she expected Harry to be with. YN had an idea in her head of whom she wanted it to be.

“That’s good to know,” YN nodded, bringing her legs up to her chest so that she could lean her head on them, “Why didn’t it work?”

He shrugs, tapping the blunt out on the step before throwing it away from them, “I never really knew. I guess I just didn’t see it going anywhere.”

“Is that what you want? Something to go somewhere?” YN asked, without even thinking before she spoke. Sometimes it was a good thing, and in times like these she really wished this wasn’t the case.

He shrugged and looked at her, “Isn’t that what everyone wants?”

“I suppose,” YN messed with a bit of lace at the bottom of her shorts, “But in this life, when do you have that life? When do you settle down, get married, have kids?”

“Whenever you want,” Harry shrugs, “If that’s what you want, and you find the right person.”

“But then again, we’re still young,” YN shrugged, “We still have time for all of that, or at least I hope I do. I’d like to do it right though, and I suppose I need to grow up a bit to do that.”

“Not make the same mistakes your parents did,” YN let out a deep sigh and nodded.

“Exactly.”

“You know, I am really sorry about what I said to you that first night,” At this point, they’re looking directly at each other.

“You don’t have to apologise,” YN shook her head, “You were right to say it, I just didn’t take it very well.”

“That’s an understatement,” He laughs, and without even thinking YN rolled her eyes and sort of tapped his shoulder with his head.

“But in all honesty, I probably wouldn’t have left home if it wasn’t for what you said,” YN shook her head, “Not just that, but it definitely helped me make my decision. I sort of wanted to prove you wrong, to a certain degree.”

“Well, I for one am glad you did,” The music in the room behind them seemed to get louder, but they weren’t paying any attention, “Because that shit that you just performed on stage, was insane, YN.”

“In a good way, I’m guessing?” She laughed, pushing some of her hair that had been blown from the slight breeze out of her face.

“I’ve never heard anything like it before,” He exhales and shakes his head, “I mean I knew you could sing, ever since that first show where I brought you on stage but your songs? They’re incredible, YN.”

YN doesn’t even know what to say. They’re so close right now, even more so than they had been that first night when they sat on the steps. Without even thinking, she started to move her face closer to his, and he started to do the same. Once she had realised that it wasn’t just her moving closer to him, but Harry was also moving closer to her she didn’t even hesitate.

Once her lips were on his, and he placed his hand on her face to bring her closer she felt as though this was what she had been missing this entire time. This is what it was supposed to feel like. The feeling of his lips on hers, and the way that his hand felt on her skin. It was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. It felt as though her entire body was on fire.

YN moved so that she was closer to him, but Harry didn’t seem to like that and placed his hands under her thighs to bring her closer to him. Once she was straddling his lap, she was able to place her hands on his face and deepen the kiss. With every movement that they made, it felt as though YN’s entire body was on fire.

Once YN pulled away to gain her breath again, he started to kiss down her neck. It made her realise that this was what she had been missing this entire time. This was the feeling that she wanted and needed. Once she was fed up and wanted his lips back on hers, she pulled his face up so that his lips were on hers again.

She would never forget this feeling, even if it was going to be the only time that she felt it. She had no idea whether she would feel it again. Little did she know what the next words to come out of his mouth were going to be, and what he was going to say next.

“Come on tour with me.”

“Stay safe, okay?” Vivienne says, holding YN’s face in her hands so that she was listening to every word, “You have everything, yeah? And you picked up the office’s phone number I left on the table?”

“Yes, Viv, I’ve got it all,” Vivienne let out a big sigh and then didn’t even hesitate to wrap the girl up in the biggest squeeze she had ever felt.

YN laughed and squeezed her back just as tightly, “I’m going to miss you so much, yeah? Come back in one piece.”

“I will,” YN pulled away, “I love you so much.”

YN was just about to pull away when Vivienne wrapped her arms around the girl again. That was when she heard a knock on the bus door behind her.

“YN!” It was Ronnie, “We have to go.”

“Give me a second,” YN pulled away from Vivienne and placed a kiss on her cheek, “I love you, and I’ll miss you and I’m sorry that dickhead ruined this moment for us.”

“Go,” Vivienne laughed, and that word was all that YN needed to turn, stick her tongue out at Ronnie and climb on the bus.

Once she was in her seat, looking out of the window and saw Vivienne standing there all on her own she could’ve cried. She had to keep it together, not only for herself but for Vivienne. Since the day that YN had moved out of her parent’s house and moved into Vivienne’s flat, this was the longest that they would go without seeing each other in the last two years.

It was bittersweet to YN because she was finally going on tour but at the cost of leaving her best friend behind. One thing that YN did have in her boat was Vivienne had recently gotten a new job as a photographer. The good thing about that was her attention was mostly going to be taken by her new job, rather than her missing YN – or that was what she was hoping.

As the bus set off, YN pouted and waved at Vivienne as she blew her kisses. Once Vivienne was out of sight, she couldn’t help but let a few tears out. That was when Heather came and sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her.

“She’s going to be fine, babe,” Heather pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “You’re going on tour, yeah? Let’s just focus on that.”

That was all YN needed to wipe her face and let herself begin to be excited. It also helped when she popped two pills out of her container and swallowed them down with some water that she had.

Their first stop was Denver. It wasn’t actually the first stop that YN would’ve expected, but I suppose they had to get into the swing of things before they got into the real cities, where the critics really expect the heat.

What YN certainly hadn’t expected was the crowd that was waiting outside of the venue. The majority of them were there for Harry, and YN expected that but once they got off the bus, she saw a girl that couldn’t have been older than fourteen, being pushed by all of the other people holding a sign that said, ‘We love you, YN,’ in big writing the girl could have cried.

YN didn’t care about all of the other people, she left them to her band, Harry and his and made her own beeline towards the girl.

“Hi,” She smiled. The girl looked as though she was either going to cry or scream, so YN just opened her arms and immediately welcomed the girl in a hug, “What’s your name?”

“I’m Elizabeth,” She wipes under her eyes a few times.

“I’m YN, it’s lovely to meet you,” YN noticed that she also had a copy of her record in her hand, “Would you like me to sign that?”

“Please,” The girl nodded. YN accepted the record and pen from her and opened the cap.

Elizabeth, do what makes you happy. Love, YN

It was the first time that YN had ever signed her own record, and she could’ve cried – especially at how cute Elizabeth was.

“Thank you so much,” YN didn’t hesitate to hug the girl again, and just as she was going to pull away, she felt an arm pulling her.

“C’mon sexy, there are other people to see,” She didn’t know who it was, she had never seen him before in her life, but he had a stern grip on her arm.

YN pulled away from the girl and gave her a sorry smile and focused more on trying to get her arm out of this man’s grip.

“Sexy, give me one of those hugs,” The man kept pulling and pulling, and his stubby fucking nails were digging into her skin.

“Get off me,” YN tried to stay calm, but the tighter the man held her arm it was a little more difficult to handle, “Hey! Get the fuck off me you dick!”

The commotion obviously caused some attention, because before she knew it the man was being pushed away from her.

“Get the fuck away from her, mate,” It was Harry. He wasn’t the person that she had expected at all.

“Just a little harmless fun,” The man who had his hand on her held both his hands up, as though now that a man was here to protect her it didn’t matter what she had said.

“Nah, it’s not harmless,” Harry shook his head at his man, “Don’t ever touch a girl like that again.”

YN shook her head and walked off, muttering, “Asshole,” as she did.

At that point, she didn’t know which person she was saying asshole too. YN wasn’t a damsel in distress, but Harry made her feel like one. YN followed Ronnie towards the venue and once she was inside, she made her way towards what she guessed was the green room and immediately sat down on the sofa.

She ran a hand through her hair and all in all she didn’t know what the worse feeling was. She didn’t know whether she was shaken up because of the anger she felt towards that or shaken up from the man touching her or whether she was just hitting a low point right now.

Riffling through her bag, when she found her pouch, she didn’t even hesitate to take out her little pot of white powder that she carried everywhere with her. It had become second nature to her, how to tip the correct amount out, get it into the perfect line and have it all cleaned up and no traces left by the time other people walk into the room.

“Hey,” YN was just wiping her nose by the time Harry walked up to her, “You okay? What was that?”

“I’m fine,” She stood up and tried to push past him but he held his hand out so she couldn’t move, “What?”

“You’re not fine,” Harry shook his head, “That man just attacked you.”

“Harry, I don’t need you to tell me when I’m fine or not,” YN shook her head, moving her hair off her face, “If I tell you I’m fine, I’m fine – now where are the fucking drinks?”

YN pushed past Harry and made her way out of the room and down the corridor. YN prayed that she would find some sort of room where she could just sit in and drink and calm herself down. Once she found a room, she had no idea what room it was, but she saw a fridge with wine in it and grabbed a bottle out. She looked around the room aimlessly, saw no glass and just opened it. If she could blur her mind, and get to that lovely, sweet spot that she knew – nothing could stop her.

Just as she brought the bottle up to her lips, the door swung open and then slammed shut. YN closed her eyes and leaned against the bar behind her.

“YN,” Harry made his way towards her but still kept his distance from her, “It’s not even midday.”

She groaned and closed her eyes, “What do you want me to say, Harry?”

“I don’t want you to say anything, I just want to know that you’re okay.”

YN groaned, running her hand over her face, “How many times do I have to tell you, Harry? I’m fine.”

“You’re obviously not. It’s not even midday, I don’t know how many fucking pills you’ve had, you’ve just done a line and now you’re drinking?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, YN. I want to know you’re okay and that you know that I’m here.”

“I know,” YN nods, “I’m okay.”

“Okay.”

YN wasn’t okay.

The first few weeks of the tour were quite possibly the best weeks of YN’s life. The only thing that could make it better was if Vivienne was there. They were currently in Nashville, doing soundcheck before the show and YN was really starting to miss her friend.

They weren’t going to be back in L.A for another three weeks, and that was difficult for YN to understand. She wouldn’t say that she had been using more during the tour, but it had certainly picked up during the last few days. Chris had started to become more of an asshole to her, making snide comments here and there about her and Harry but then the second they started to party – it was as though nothing else mattered and he just wanted to get his dick wet.

At first, YN was able to just ignore it and carry on but the more that it happened, the more that YN felt as though she just couldn’t handle it anymore. The drugs and alcohol worked, and so she would continue to do that until he stopped. The thing that she knew would help the most was if she saw Vivienne, but she was doing her job right now – living every photographer’s dream.

“I used to know what it means to be alone/ I used to know what it means to be right/ I used to know what it means to be loved/ I used to know what it means to be right.”

During I Used to Know, YN honestly felt as though she was at breaking point. Chris had spent last night with a roadie after she had rejected him, and just been talking absolute shit to the people they were around and to this girl he was screwing. YN felt as though there was a thin line with whom she could talk about it, especially since she wasn’t close to Isaac and Jacob, and Heather was his sister. There was Harry, but this was his tour, and she didn’t want to be a burden to him – and she also didn’t want to interrupt his tour with her bullshit problems.

This was the time that YN wished that Vivienne was here. It was times like these that a glass of wine and a conversation with Vivienne were all that she wanted.

This life was everything that she wanted. Being on the road was one of the most rewarding and exciting things YN had ever done, it was just a shame that she had a shitty drummer to go along with it. That was the problem, it wasn’t the crowds or the singing – that was the best part – it was unfortunately just one person.

Once they had finished soundcheck, YN didn’t even hesitate before walking off stage and making her way towards the phone. It was like a maze backstage, and she had to ask about six people before she found the phone in a corridor that she never would’ve found if she hadn’t asked.

Leant against the wall with the phone between her ear and her shoulder, she lit a cigarette quickly before putting the apartment's phone number in. It phoned for a while, and just before YN was going to give up it finally picked up.

“Hello?”

“Viv?” YN almost cried when she heard her friend's voice on the phone, “Is that you?”

“Yeah, it is, YN,” Vivienne laughed, and it sounded as though there was some shuffling on the other side of the phone, “How are you? It’s good to hear your voice.”

“It’s good to hear yours too,” YN smiled, inhaling her cigarette, and closing her eyes as she leaned her head against the wall, “How’s the job? How I everything back home?”

“It’s good, YN, it’s really good,” Vivienne laughed, “They’re all really nice. I have an album cover next week.”

“Viv!” YN exclaimed, she was so happy for her friend and so proud of her, “I’m so happy for you. I’m sorry I’m not there.”

“No! YN don’t be,” Vivienne sighed, “You’re on tour babes, focus on that. How’s it going?”

“It’s –” YN sighed. She really did want to tell Vivienne everything, but she didn’t want to tell her things that would worry her, especially when her job is going so well back home, “It’s going really well, Viv. The crowds are amazing, and everyone’s lovely. It’s everything I could’ve wished for and more.”

YN wasn’t proud of lying to her friend. If she knew that it wasn’t going to affect Vivienne, she would’ve told her everything that was worrying her under the sun. That wasn’t possible though, so instead, she just bottled it in. By this point, the tears had started to fall, and it wasn’t going to be long before Vivienne realised, and she definitely didn’t want to worry her friend.

“That’s so good, YN. I’m so glad!”

“Anyway, I just wanted to check in, but I’ve got to go and get ready,” YN tries to wipe the tears away, but they just keep falling, “I love you, and I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Love you too,” Vivienne says back to her, “Have fun, babe. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

“I won’t.”

Once Vivienne puts the phone down, YN attaches hers to the latch again and then falls to the ground. It was almost as though everything that had happened in the past few weeks had just bubbled to the surface and she couldn’t help it. The gut-wrenching sobs that were leaving her body were so uncontrollable that she honestly didn’t know what to do.

“Hey, we’ve been looking for you,” YN lifted her head to look up at Harry, and she watched his face immediately drop from a smile to concern, “What’s wrong?”

YN couldn’t even stop crying to tell Harry what was wrong. He seemed to realise and immediately drop down on the floor next to her, wrapping his arms around her. YN didn’t hesitate to drop her head to his chest and just let it all out.

“You’re okay,” YN could feel his lips on the top of her head, and the feeling of his arms around her was truly starting to calm her down, “I’m here, everything’s okay.”

Once YN had calmed down, and her breathing started to even out – she felt as though she was nearly back to normal. She lifted her head off his chest but still kept it on his shoulder. She wiped her face with her hands and let out a sigh. He turned and looked at her, and that was when he used his thumb to wipe under her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” She mumbled, a few shallow breaths leaving her. Even though she had just cried her eyes out, she did feel a little better about it.

Harry shakes his head, grabbing her hand and threading his fingers through hers, “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I just –” She started, exhaling once more, “It’s just –”

“Gotten a little much?” He asks and she nods, happy that she doesn’t have to find the words to explain it, but he just understands.

“Yeah,” She closed the shawl that she had around her arms closer, allowing herself to just feel comfortable in his arms.

“Can I tell you something?” YN nodded into his chest, allowing him to speak, “My first tour, I cried every night. Phoned my mum so much that she fully contemplated flying out to come with me.”

“Really?” Harry nodded, placing his head on top of hers, “I didn’t know that.”

Harry shrugs and shakes his head, “Nobody does. I didn’t tell anyone. It’s fucking hard, YN, I get that.”

“It is,” YN nods, trying to not allow herself to cry again, “I didn’t realise how hard, and I’m really missing Viv.”

“That’s understandable, love, she’s your family. I miss my Mum and my sister every day.”

“Does it get easier?” It was a genuine question. YN had no idea what the answer was going to be, but she hoped that it was true.

Harry shrugs, “Let me know if you find out.”

YN groans and laughs, bringing her hands up to her face, “That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.”

Harry laughs with her as well, “Listen to this, how about tonight we just fuck off the party in the hotel and just watch a movie. Just the two of us, relaxing.”

YN couldn’t help but feel those butterflies in her stomach again, “I’d love that.”

“Good,” He starts to stand up, holding onto both of her hands to help her up, “Let’s go get ready for tonight, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Harry walked her all the way to her dressing room, and even though she did feel so much better than she had done earlier – she wasn’t fully back yet. That was probably why the second she got into her dressing room; she was rooting through her bags for her pills. It probably wasn’t the best time to wash them down with a bottle of champagne, but that was all that she wanted to do – so that was what she did.

She just had to get through the show. That’s all.

“What are we thinking?” Harry sat down on the bed next to her, placing the burgers and fries that they had just ordered on the bed in front of her, “Shall we just see what shitty movie is on?”

YN beamed up at him, “I like that plan.”

The show wasn’t the best, but it also wasn’t the worst. YN was at her perfect happy level that she could go on stage, do what she did best and then be ready for her relaxing night with Harry. Once the show had finished and they had all come back to the hotel, YN had immediately gone into her room to shower and just as she came out, still in her robe, Harry knocked on her door with a tray full of room service.

This was the first time in a long time that her night wasn’t full of drugs and booze, and she was actually enjoying it. The second she unwrapped the chicken burger Harry had gotten for her, she honestly felt as though she was the happiest person alive.

“Shit,” YN spoke, she probably had lettuce and mayo all over her face, but she really didn’t care, “I’m literally in heaven.”

“Is it good?” Harry laughs, placing a fry in his mouth.

“It’s fucking amazing,” She laughed, moving her burger towards Harry, “Take a bite.”

He does, and she laughs when he has lettuce and mayo all over his face just as she did. Lifting her thumb up, she wiped the mayo off his mouth and then wiped it on a napkin.

“Good right?” She laughed, watching as he nodded his head and wiped his face with a napkin.

He nodded, “You were right.”

Even though there was a party going on just down the corridor from them, YN couldn’t care less. Spending time with Harry, a person whom YN genuinely liked and cared about and who seemed to care about her was a much better way to spend her time.

They ate their burgers and fries, watching a shitty movie that both of them were enjoying just because of how bad it was, and once that had finished it was as though it didn’t matter because the two of them were in such a deep conversation that none of it mattered.

“If you weren’t a rockstar, right now, what would you want to be doing?” She asked, messing with the tie of her robe with one hand and holding a cigarette in the other.

“I honestly couldn’t tell you,” He laughed, lighting his own cigarette, “I worked in a bakery when I was younger, but I wouldn’t say that it was my dream.”

“No,” YN laughed, tapping her cigarette on the side of the ashtray, “I couldn’t imagine you baking bread right now instead of on that stage.”

He laughed himself, “No, it definitely wasn’t the life for me. What would you be doing?”

YN shrugged, “Probably going to college, either politics or law – something commendable that my parents could be proud of.”

The room was quiet, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, “Do you miss them? Your parents?”

YN shrugged. She really didn’t know how to answer that question. It definitely made her think, especially because ever since she left her parents, she hasn’t really given herself time to think about that.

“I don’t know whether I’d say I miss them,” YN shrugged, “They were my parents, but they weren’t really my parents even when I was there. I can’t miss what I never had.”

“I get that,” Harry nodded, and he didn’t even hesitate to grab her hand and hold it, running his thumb over the back of her hand, “I suppose that now it isn’t your parents that you miss, it’s Vivienne.”

“We may not be blood, but we’re family,” YN shrugged.

Harry nodded, “It’s like Sarah and Mitch. We’ve been singing together for years, they are my family away from my blood family.”

YN nodded, “They’re sick, by the way, like two of the best musicians I’ve ever met.”

“They are,” He laughed, “They’re the best.”

“I fucking wish I had a band like that,” YN laughed, shaking her hand, and running her hand over her face.

“How has it been?” Harry turned his head slightly, so they were looking directly at each other, “With Chris?”

YN shrugs, then she groans, and then she flips herself over so that her face is in the pillow, “He’s just an asshole.”

Harry sighs, “Do you want me to talk to him about it?”

“No,” YN shakes her head, “That’ll probably just make it worse.”

There’s a slight lilt in the conversation, and that’s when YN pushes herself up off the bed. She knew that Harry didn’t use as much as she did, so she wasn’t just going to do a line right in front of him.

“Where are you going?” He asked, moving the plates from the bed to the floor.

“Just to the bathroom,” YN smiles, picking her bag up and moving towards the door.

“You don’t have to hide it from me, you know,” He says, just as she’s about to open the door and walk into the bathroom, “If you’re hitting a low, that is.”

YN didn’t really know what to say, or even what to do. He saw right through what she is doing, and she sort of felt a little embarrassed. At this point, she didn’t know whether he was judging her or not. She hoped that he wasn’t, but she would never know.

YN turned around and made her way towards the table, tapping out a line and snorting it as though it was second nature to her. At this point it was. But once she had done it, she wiped her nose and her gums and made her way back to the bad. She knew that Harry had been watching her, but it wasn’t like he had said anything bad to her as other people had in the past.

He looked more concerned than anything.

They were still in silence when she climbed back into the bed with him. This time she went under the covers and turned so that she was facing him. He looked at her and she couldn’t gauge exactly what the look on his face was.

“Have you always been using this much?”

YN sighed, bringing a hand up to her head and pushing her hair out of her face, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

YN scoffed, “I don’t really ever keep track of it.”

“Do you think that’s a problem?”

There wasn’t any malice behind his words, but she couldn’t help but feel as though she was being attacked by him. Maybe it was all in her head, but she didn’t know what to think.

“I don’t think so, no,” YN says, sitting up and getting ready to leave the bed, “I’m having fun, and I’m happy so what’s the problem?”

“You don’t have to leave, YN, I thought we were having a conversation,” Harry stands up, ready to get out of bed also.

“Well, I don’t want to have this conversation,” She goes towards the door and opens it, “I’m really tired, and I just want to go to sleep.”

“YN, you just did a line you’re not going to sleep,” He gets out of bed at this point.

“Well, I’d like you to leave, please,” YN didn’t look up at him, and she heard him sigh.

Harry grabbed his things and made his way towards her, “One day, you’re not going to be able to run away from your problems.”

With a kiss on her cheek, he walked out of her room, and she slammed the door shut behind him.

It had been a week or so since Harry had spent the night in YN’s room, and since that day he had done nothing but watch her spiral.

Every single time that he attempted to talk to her, she walked away from him. It was almost as though she was avoiding him. In fact, it wasn’t almost as though she was ignoring him – she was ignoring him.

Everything that they had spoken about, and everything that she had said to him was almost as though it didn’t matter anymore. If Harry thought that she was using more before their conversation, it was as though it had doubled since the last time they spoke.

Watching her yesterday on stage during her set today, he wanted nothing more than to get up there and carry her away. She was mumbling, forgetting the words to her own song and at one point she nearly tripped and fell into Chris’s drum kit whilst she was doing a line of it, he really knew that he needed to do something.

Getting in touch with Vivienne hadn’t been the easiest thing, but Heather was more than happy to give him her number so that he could get in touch. Once he had explained the situation to Vivienne, she was immediately packing her bag and making her way to the airport. YN probably wouldn’t be happy with him for doing this but in his mind, if he couldn’t get through to her, then maybe Vivienne could.

They didn’t have a show today, as they’d spent the entire day travelling to Pittsburgh. They were staying in a hotel overnight, and the show would be tomorrow. That was actually perfect because Harry knew that Vivienne’s flight had landed, and they still had this evening to have a mini intervention so to say with YN.

Harry knew that Vivienne was currently on her way to the hotel, and that was why he currently sat in the lobby, getting up and pacing every now and then, and then sitting back down. He didn’t actually know where YN was right now, but he fully expected her to be at the party that was going on in one of the rooms right now.

He had been waiting for about ten minutes when he decided to go outside and get some air. He lit a cigarette, leant against the wall, and watched every taxi that passed with such intent. He had chain-smoked two cigarettes and then a taxi showed up, and that was when Vivienne got out of the car.

He threw his cigarette on the pavement and made his way towards the taxi, helping the girl with her bags and accepting a hug from her. The girl sighed against him and without even saying anything, they both knew what they were thinking.

“Thank you for coming,” he says, pulling away from the hug and giving her a smile.

Her eyes were already filling up with tears, “Thank you for calling me.”

Harry helped pull her suitcase inside and they immediately made a beeline to the elevator so they could make their way upstairs to the floor that the band was staying on.

“Do you want to settle in?” He asked, just as the doors opened and they stepped onto the floor.

Vivienne shook her head, “No, I just want to see her.”

Harry nodded, “Okay, I’ll put your bags in my room and then we’ll find her.”

Harry quickly dumped Vivienne’s bag in his room and moved down the corridor in the direction of where the party was. It wasn’t difficult to pinpoint what room it was coming from, as the entire corridor was filled with music coming from the room at the bottom of the corridor.

“You ready?” Vivienne nodded, and he pushed the door open.

The room was loud and hot, filled with bodies and smoke. There were people drinking, dancing, and doing all of the drugs under the sun. Both Harry and Vivienne were scanning the room, trying to spot the girl that they were doing this for – but she was nowhere to be found.

Harry saw Chris lounging on one of the sofas, two girls leaning against him whilst he smoked a joint. At this point, he didn’t even care – he just wanted to find her. They needed to find her. Harry made a beeline for him, checking over his shoulder once to check that Vivienne was there.

“Where is she?” The man on the sofa rolled his eyes at the sight of Harry standing there, but again – Harry didn’t care – he just wanted to find YN.

Chris shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“I know she was here,” Harry sighed, “Where is she?”

Chris scoffed, “You really think I care enough to know her whereabouts?”

Vivienne pushed herself in front of Harry, “Listen here you coked-up asshole, you better tell me where she is, or I’ll make sure you don’t live to see tomorrow.”

Harry’s eyes widened. He didn’t know this was the approach that he was taking, but I suppose it worked because Chris’ face dropped at her words.

Chris shrugged, “She said she was going to the bathroom.”

Harry’s face dropped, “How long ago?”

“I don’t know,” He shrugged, “Ten, twenty minutes ago.”

Harry didn’t even say anything to him, he just turned away and walked towards the bathroom which was around the corner. Vivienne was following close behind, thankfully because he wouldn’t know what to do if he was on his own. He bumped into so many people, some of them who cussed him out, but he genuinely didn’t care. There were people waiting by the bathroom, who again cussed them out, but he didn’t even look at them.

He pounded his fists on the door, “YN, open up.”

“Dude!” A man said to the side of him, “What are you doing?”

“Fuck off,” Harry spat at him, trying the handle a few more times and then pounding his fists again.

He could hear people talking behind them, but he didn’t care. He just needed the door to open and to know that she was okay.

“She has to be in there,” Vivienne said from the side of him.

He nodded, “I know,” He leaned his head against the door and then stood up, “I have to break the door down.”

“What?” Vivienne looked a little shocked.

“Move back,” Harry said, and Vivienne listened to him.

Without even thinking about it, Harry gave himself a bit of momentum and kicked the door open.

The door swung open, the wood splitting at the hinges but Harry truly and honestly didn’t care. Once he saw the girl, slumped on the floor by the toilet he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything, the fame, the drugs, the alcohol all he cared about was her.

“No,” He sprang into action, walking over to the girl and tapping her on his face, “Please, no.”

“Oh my god,” Vivienne brought her hand up to her face, “Somebody call an ambulance!”

“YN, wake up,” Harry tapped her face, but it didn’t work, she just looked so pale, “Someone call a fucking ambulance!”

It was at this point that Harry started to cry – he didn’t want her to die.

[mouse-fantoms]

Okay so I was thinkin’ I made this post the other day, I’ll share some snipit’s I have from some of my wips 👀 let me know if any spark intrigue

@justaspeachy @electro-elemena

Sometimes I’ll make little notes to myself at the top of the doc about what I want to include, incase I come back to it and forget

This one is simply titled “Halloween”

Halloween jatp shenanigans

Julie going as Reggie for her Halloween costume to school

Carrie Halloween party

“What’s with this?!” Luke seemed outraged seeing how Julie’s school decided to decorate for the holiday, particularly the white cutouts of ghosts stringed from the ceiling. Julie rolled her eyes as she put her binders in her locker.

“Oh stop.”

“Do people really think ghosts are a big white sheets with faces that haunt people?”

“Well what did you think ghosts used to be?”

“Touché.”

Julie’s head turned from her locker when she heard Carrie talking and promoting the flyers she was passing out.

“Another Dirty Candi performance?” Luke asked seeing what Julie saw.

“No.” She shook her head. “For a party.” She remembered from their passed friendship that might be repairing itself. She turned back to her locker to grab her belongings.

“Incoming.” She heard Luke warn before hearing him poof out.

She heard a “Jules” that caused her to turn.

“Sorry, not there yet?” Carrie apologized for the nicknames not being on the table yet. “It’s fine, I completely understand. But if…” she took a breath, realizing how weird it felt to talk to her after a year of the friendship falling out, “If… you aren’t busy the 30th you’re invited.

She furrowed her brows. “Not the 31st like normal?”

“It’s on a Saturday this year, I figured a Friday night might work better than that way people are free on the actual holiday.” She explained.

“Thanks Carrie.” She took the flyer that Carrie had in her hand for her, “I’ll… consider it.”

She nodded as a way of being passive with her and continued to hand out the flyers to any passerbyers. At least she was giving the rekindled friendship a chance.

This one is simply, “Luke Parent House”

Luke’s at his parents (one of the many times while Julie’s at school), ever since Julie gave them Unsaid things have felt weird, Luke shows them great

Ghosts paid visits to places of their past right? Yeah, that made sense. So paying visits at your estranged parent’s house was normal.

He knew that Reggie and Alex probably definitely didn’t visit theirs. They wouldn’t even know where to look for them for starters, aside from everything else between the two’s situations. It was nice though that they had someone in the present who they could hang out with in their free time. Luke might have been the only one out of them who was living in the past.

Maybe he was trying to make up for the past 25 years. It was nice sometimes to just talk while visiting them. He knew they couldn’t hear him but they did look, especially more so now, relaxed. He couldn’t do a lot besides watch and observe them’

They hadn’t changed. His father still read whenever he could and his mother would keep up her knitting hobby. It was a comforting feeling. It was nice too to see that ‘Unsaid Emily’ was on the coffee table. Whenever she would switch yarn, it would be in her eye sight. Mitch would occasionally pick it up from the coffee table and look it. At least that wasn’t a song that Trevor took.

“Do you think there are others?”

She looked up from her knitting. “Hm?” She noticed what he was looking at. “Maybe. Especially since that girl has the garage the band was in now.”

Luke answered from the top of the couch he was sitting and observing from. “Tons of them. Most with that girl.”

“Maybe if she finds more, we’ll hear about it. Julie? She said her name was.”

This one is just “Reggie’s Hotdog”

So much time had passed... thinking about it too much gave him a headache. So much had changed too. Their families had all probably moved on. 25 years of time had been lost to them. Stuck inside a room only to fall onto the floor of a garage an hour later. They were only hours away from “becoming legends” as Luke put it. But that was cut short when they ate those bad street dogs. Maybe they could still be legends, with Julie. They get to play at the Orpheum with her. Julie was pretty great. It was no wonder what Luke saw in-

Reggie was pulled from his thoughts when he heard a noise. High pitched scampers. He turned around and saw a brown puppy playing with a stick. The passerby’s clearly did not see the dog since no one had stopped to pet the puppy. He thought they were too entranced by their phones except when a mother walking with her children walked through the puppy.

Through the puppy?

[aurathian]

To the Moon and Back: 3. and even the stars.

AO3 | Written for @zelinktines24 #7: stars. Reblogs appreciated if you enjoy!!

Fandom: Breath of the Wild

Rating: G

Ships: Link/Zelda

Description: Under the light of the sun, the moon, and the stars, Zelda and Link travel to the Spring of Wisdom so the princess can perform one last prayer.

Read the full fic below or read it on AO3.

It was very, very dark, like her doubts and fears had at last consumed her and she was trapped in them for centuries. That darkness that lingered over her had finally won, she supposed. But in the distance, she heard crackling. Something hot, enveloping her in warmth, something firm around her. Slowly, she opened her eyes.

“You’re awake,” came a voice, relieved. The firm grip on her tightened and pulled her in.

“Link,” was all she could say, curling into him.

He added a piece of wood to the fire and it crackled back at him. The blanket on her shifted to cover her head, aided by Link’s free hand, the other one still holding onto her.

“I was worried.”

Zelda had nothing to say. She wasn’t sure what happened, but knew she said her piece in the waters that rippled just off to her side. Those cold, cold waters. The world around her swam as though she was still submerged there, but Link’s hold kept her grounded in reality.

“I’m fine,” she replied at last. The flames danced in front of her, a warm home in the midst of an icy mountain, inviting and searing. “Are you not cold?”

Her knight wore no blanket and bore no coat, though he had layers underneath his ceremonial tunic. His hair lay across his back and shoulders, free from its usual band so that it could keep his ears warm.

“I’m fine, too.”

Even though her mind was racing, the world outside her thoughts was peaceful. A breeze swept through the Spring and the water reflected the glimmering stars. The icy spires that made up the summit reflected white moonlight. There was not a sound except that crackling fire and whispering wind.

“What do you think will happen now?” Zelda said aloud, mostly to herself. “I could not awaken my powers at any of the springs or statues. That was my one mission given to me. What am I supposed to do now? I’ve done everything, tried everything.”

“What if the Calamity were to awaken right now, Link? What would we do?” He watched the sky intently, which Zelda did not seem to notice as she continued to ramble, voice becoming increasingly shaky with each word and breath.

“Do you think that the sun will rise tomorrow, or the day after? And if it does, then what? I don’t know what’s going to happen.” She sniffled. “But I know that whatever comes to pass, it will be my fault.”

“I will become nothing but a forgotten memory. Should I live or die, they will forget me because I failed along the way.” Pulling the blanket up to her face, she stared out at the statue across the water. Her eyes dragged across the pristine spring to Link, where he still wordlessly looked to the sky.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” she asked before she could think. The Princess, given every right to order her knight around, had not meant to order her knight to respond. They were unfair questions that nobody in the kingdom could answer, and perhaps not even the Goddess Hylia. But she wanted someone to tell her it would be okay. That no matter what would happen, it would turn out alright in the end.

The breeze blew, carrying mists of snow with it. She followed Link’s gaze up to the sky, where hundreds of stars danced and twinkled. Carefree, millions of miles away, untouched by calamities or destinies or prayers.

“I’m naming all those stars after you.” He turned to her and they locked eyes, her heart skipping a beat. “So that nobody will forget.” His hand touched her face ever so gently, fingertips grazing her cheeks, and he leaned in.

They cuddled under the veil of stars that night, slumbering by the fire before leaving down the mountain in the morning. Zelda knew what awaited her there–the Champions, of course, but also the uncertain future that no sun, moon, or stars could illuminate.

[beezusvreeland]

a very good idea - chapter 6

summary: After your boyfriend cheats on you at a party, you break up with him, who tells you nobody else is willing to be with you like him. You decide to prove him wrong, with a little help from a new friend.

ship: miguel o'hara x f!reader

______________________________________________________________

Chapter 6

“Thanks for helping me out, ladies, if I had to do this by myself, I wouldn’t even make it to the mall, I would give up right away”, Gwen said, shaking her head. 

“No worries, G, we don’t have the money, but we do have the taste”, Jess elbowed you, making you laugh. “If anything, it was a great excuse to be just us girls.”

“Don’t even tell me about it”, Gwen put her hair in a ponytail, showing the shaved side of her head. You were mesmerized by how cool Gwen was. Besides being a DJ occasionally, she was in a punk rock all girl band. You learned that during one of the several lunches you’ve had together during the past week. 

Gwen told you and Jess that one of her bandmates got them a gig at a party, your new friend was really nervous though, it had been a while since they performed live and she didn’t have any idea what to wear. 

“All my clothes are either comfortable, very few are fancy, I don’t have any piece of clothing that is both”, she complained. “I know I shouldn’t care, but I’d like to feel cute while playing.”

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, G!”, Jess intervened. 

“You don’t have to choose one or the other”, you added. “If you want, Jess and I can help you find an outfit.”

Jess nodded, excited: “We are very good at being supportive”. 

That’s how you found yourselves walking through the mall one day after class. You quickly learned that even the coolest people had their insecurities: Gwen was very overwhelmed by the whole trying on clothes process. So you and Jess decided to take things slow and stop by the food court to buy some milkshakes. 

“You girls stay here, I’ll order them for us”, Jess gave you a look that you knew meant “try to calm her” as you and Gwen sat down at a table. 

Since it was a weekday, the mall didn’t have much movement, which you were glad for. If not, Gwen would not be the only one overwhelmed in the group.

“Hey, Gwen”, you called. The blonde girl had her elbows on the table and her hands going through her face. “Look at me.”

Gwen looked up slowly, her reddened face carrying a look of frustration. 

“We don’t have to do this today or at the mall. We’ll find something perfect for you, even if we have to raid our own closets for that.”

Gwen’s expression softened. 

“Thank you so much.”

“What is bothering you? You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“Well, it’s just…”, she looked at her hands. “There is this whole thing about looking good for a performance…my bandmates are good at that. Me, not so much.”

“But you guys have performed before, right?”, you asked and she nodded in response. “Is there something specific about this party?”

“I was fine with it until I realized a lot of people from school will be there and I guess I just haven’t had the opportunity to show another side of me, outside of school. You know?”, Gwen looked up at you, blushing. “I’d like to express that and…feel good about it, I guess? Good about myself?”

You nodded and she opened her eyes wide, having a realization. 

“Oh my God, you would make an incredible therapist!”

“Right? I’ve been telling her this for ages”, Jess was back at the table with the milkshakes. 

“You guys are sweet”, you chuckled, unable to admit out loud that you actually were fond of the idea. You liked listening to and helping people. But it was still scary to think about the specifics of the future. 

“G, can I ask you something?”, Jess swirled the straw in the milkshake. “Miles...what’s his deal? Do you know if he is seeing anyone?”

Gwen gasped, her face becoming red. You gave your best friend a smirk, you knew exactly where she was getting at.

“No! Not that I know of…Why? Are you…”, Gwen Stacy, a babbling mess. “Are you interested in him?”

“I’m not”, Jess put her cup down, a winning grin on her face. “But you clearly are.”

Gwen’s expression was priceless, the poor girl looked like a deer caught in headlights. You and Jess started laughing. 

“What? No, that’s not…”

“We don’t have to talk about it, but don’t you deny it”, Jess gave Gwen’s hand a shake. 

“How do you even…”

“It’s really obvious, actually.”

“You probably aren’t used to this since you hang out mostly with those boys, which is totally fine, by the way”, you pointed out. “But I bet they aren’t in tune with their emotions. From my experience, guys will bury their feelings in a box and throw away the key.”

“Well…”, Gwen was still stunned. “My God, I really needed you in my life.”

The three of you laughed, the mood became much lighter. 

“What about you and Miguel?”, Gwen asked.

“What about me and Miguel?”, those damn butterflies started partying inside your stomach again. 

“I don’t know…”, she stopped. She looked as if she was mentally selecting what information she was going to give you and what she wasn’t. “It’s funny…I mean, he was so mad at Harry for all the things he had been saying about you at the party that he started fighting the guy, even though he hates violence.” Gwen looked at you with curiosity. “And now the two of you are hanging out and flirting…”

It was your turn to blush. Everything happened so fast that weekend and you were so devastated by Harry’s actions that you didn’t even think about why Miguel was in a fist fight with your ex. 

“Wait…Miguel was defending me?”, it was too much for your brain to grasp. 

“Oh, I thought you knew…”, Gwen frowned. “I’m sorry, I assumed…since you were there…”

“We only saw the end of the fight”, Jess said, giving you a concerned look. The two of you didn’t really talk about that day either, both worried with the consequences. Your best friend has always prioritized your well being. 

 “It’s ok, Gwen”, you looked at her. “But please tell me the whole story? There are a lot of missing pieces, but I want to know.”

***

You and Miguel were studying together again after school. At least, you were trying. Since the day before, you couldn’t stop thinking about what Gwen told you: how Miguel begged Harry to go home, that he had enough, that you didn’t deserve this mess he put you through, that he should sober up to deal with what was about to come, that he should be the one to tell you about the other girl, making you find out from other people would be so much more hurtful to you.

Then Harry started pushing and screaming at him to put your name out of his mouth. And the fight started. 

You looked at Miguel in front of you, his face concentrated on the essay you asked him to write. The only way to become better at writing is writing more and more, you told him. At first he protested, but you could see he was putting a lot of effort on the prompts you gave him. It made you feel proud of him and sometimes you had to stop yourself from physically showing him that. Mentally, tough…you had started to wonder what being closer to him would be like…what it would feel like.

“I’m finishing, I promise!”, his look of desperation took you out of your trance. 

“No no, don’t worry, we can finish it tomorrow. How does that sound?” 

“Are you sure?”

You nodded. 

“Are you ok?”, he stretched his arms, his eyes still on you.

“Yes, why?”

“You are looking at me funny”, Miguel’s voice was soft, almost shy. 

“No…it’s just…”, you take a deep breath. “I was talking to Gwen the other day and I realized I didn’t know the details of the fight, you know…between you and Harry. So, she told me.”

Miguel closed his eyes, putting his hands through his hair, as he did when he was nervous, you learned. 

“What did she tell you?”

“The truth”, you turned your gaze, trying to stay on track with what you wanted to say. “You didn’t have to defend me or try to reason with Harry while he was a mess, you really didn’t. But you did.”

“I wanted to.”

Your eyes met his. Miguel brows were furrowed and his lips pursed. 

“Thank you”, your voice was just a tiny bit above a whisper. “You don’t even know me that well, yet you tried to make things better for me.”

“Cariño…”, he reached for your hand. 

“And then I made you this stupid proposal, even though I’m the one who owes you.”

“We’re helping each other out, remember?”

You feel Miguel's index finger draw the lines in the palm of your hand. 

“But I still owe you for the party…thing. So, if you need more help with studying or I don’t know…”

“Don’t worry about it, cariño”, Miguel bit his lip, the sides of his mouth going upward. 

You’re staring at each other. There is a spark in his eyes that made you want to get closer and closer to him. His eyes studied your face, stopping at your lips. In spite of yourself, you lick them. 

Miguel’s eyes shot back to yours.

“I know what you can do to make us even”, his tone was a little desperate.

“You know that party Gwen and her band are playing at?”

“Yes…”

Cue the butterflies.

“Come with me.”

______________________________________________________________

<< chapter 5

>> chapter 7

______________________________________________________________

a very good idea playlist

[invisibleraven]

i hope i'm not too late, i missed this when you first posted it!

"having a system for putting away dishes, because one is not tall enough for putting away the glasses" for Alex and anyone? 😁🙏

Alex sighed with relief as he slid into the Wilson mansion-away from the crowds of people thronged together on the yard. It was quiet here, letting the weight of performing for people melt away.

Then he heard the clink of dishes and wandered towards the kitchen, finding Carrie unloading the dishwasher, her heels kicked off to the side.

“Shouldn’t you be out there?” he asked with a smirk. “You are the hostess.”

“Shouldn’t you?” She turned, hands on her hips. “It’s your party after all.”

“Eh, the others have it handled, and you know I’m only good in social situations for so long,” he replied with a shrug, taking the cutlery holder out and slowly putting each piece away.

“I know they do, Reggie would live for applause and attention if he could,” Carrie snorted, but her fond expression gave away how she felt for the bassist.

“Pot, kettle,” Alex remarked.

Carrie rolled her eyes but didn’t respond, maybe because she knew she was the exact same way. Maybe that was why she and Reggie worked so well together, even if none of them saw the pairing coming.

“So why are you hiding anyways?” Alex asked, hip checking her away from the dishwasher to do the glasses-well after he saw her straining to reach the top cupboard and wisely said nothing about her height.

“Nosy reporter wanted to ask about Dad,” Carrie said quietly, winding her fingers in the skirt of her sparkly rose coloured dress.

Alex sucked in a breath, knowing that was a sore spot. Trevor had a public breakdown about a year ago, disappearing to some monastery to recover and aside from the odd letter, no one had heard from him.

Carrie had not taken it well, still feeling the sting of being essentially abandoned. Sure she was legally an adult now, but she still wanted her dad. Plus with the whole issue of her mom dumping her as an infant, the hurt compounded.

“You want Luke and Willie to kick him out?” Alex offered.

Carrie shook her head. “Security took care of it. Just needed a moment to regroup.”

“You want to stay in here and raid your freezer?” Alex asked.

“Everything I have is vegan,” Carrie replied, hopping up on the counter after grabbing a spoon for them.

“That’s okay, I’m lactose intolerant,” Alex replied, digging out pints of frozen yogurt.

That’s where the rest of the band found them later, passing the almost empty pint back and forth. Willie glimpsed himself onto Alex’s back to steal a spoonful while Reggie just up and took Carrie’s spoon which got him an indignant shriek.

“Don’t you have any real snacks?” Luke asked as he perused the contents of the fridge.

“You just ate your weight in canapés, I think you’re fine,” Julie replied. She then leaned her head against Alex’s shoulder “You okay?”

“Yeah, just needed a break.”

“Most everyone is gone now,” Reggie stated. “Though I’m sure those left are wondering where the guests of honour snuck off to.”

“Let ‘em wonder,” Carrie replied, polishing off the last spoonful of her treat.

“What were you two even doing in here?” Willie asked.

“I was helping Carrie put away the dishes-what do you do when there’s no one tall to do the glasses?” Alex asked.

“She has a step stool,” Reggie replied, earning himself a glare. “What? Julie has one too!”

Julie shrugged. “So sue me for being vertically challenged.”

Alex leaned back into Willie’s embrace as his friends chatted and bickered, feeling a sense of peace envelope him. Maybe it was lame he spent half the party hiding, but this right here? This was all the party he needed.

[aughby]

"The Song I Never Knew"

With his attractive voice that could make a crowd of hundreds feel as though he was singing directly to them, Kai had always been the centerpiece of their band. However, something felt off tonight. The band was scheduled to play at a big event, but Kai's best friend, the pianist, seemed distant. Her usually positive and enthusiastic personality seemed to carry an odd weight, especially when singing the song "Princesa."

"Hey," Kai said to her during their backstage rehearsal. "Why don’t you want to play 'Princesa'? You’re usually the one pushing us to perform it."

She gave him a quick glance and then looked away. She whispered, "It's nothing," as her fingers casually danced over the piano keys, avoiding eye contact.

Confused, Kai frowned. This song was special, but he didn't know why it affected her so much. He had no idea that it had anything to do with her feelings in private. For years, she had been his closest friend, but at some point, she developed feelings for him. She couldn't help but think of "Princesa," the song that always seemed to be for Kai's crush, the girl who was always in the front row. The thought that Kai had composed those words for someone else hurt, and she wasn't sure if she could handle the emotional weight of playing it again.

The band had put a lot of effort into "Princesa," and Kai had dedicated many nights to polishing the song and putting his all into each and every word. However, his closest friend was unaware that the song wasn’t about the girl in the crowd. It was about her—the pianist, who had been by his side for as long as he could remember. Kai had secretly fallen in love with her, never having the guts to say so. He hoped she would notice his gaze at her every time they played the song.

All they could do was carry on with the show. Kai's best friend lightly sat down at her piano as the lights went down and the band members took their places on stage. Unaware of the band's own emotional agony, the crowd erupted in cheers. She kept her head down, her fingers tapping the keys in a machine-like way as Kai started to sing the first notes of "Princesa," his voice gentle but powerful. Each word he sang made her heart ache because it reminded her of all she would never be able to have.

Between verses, Kai stole looks at her, feeling something wasn't quite right. She was obviously struggling, and her typical fire was gone. He couldn’t understand what had changed. They had always been in sync, but tonight felt like they were worlds apart.

The audience exploded in cheers as the song came to an end, but she was unable to stay longer. She got up quickly, abandoning the piano, and went backstage. She ran to a quiet spot, tears beginning to spill. She couldn’t bear it anymore—pretending like she was okay, like she didn’t feel anything. Knowing that Kai was in love with someone else hurt too much.

Kai noticed her sudden departure and quickly followed. He found her backstage, wiping away her tears; her back turned to him.

"Hey," he said softly as he approached closer, trying to figure out what had happened. "What’s going on? Are you okay?"

She refrained from turning around out of fear that her emotions would be obvious on her face if she turned to face him. "I'm fine," she whispered, but her voice was cracked.

Kai's concern grew as he said, "You don't seem fine." He leaned in closer and put a gentle touch on her shoulder. "Talk to me."

She shrugged off his hand and wiped at her face. "Just leave it, Kai. It's nothing."

But Kai couldn’t leave it. He had never seen her like this, and it tore him apart knowing she was upset. "Is it the song? Why do you hate playing 'Princesa' now?"

His question made her heart ache deeply, and she turned to face him for the first time that evening, her eyes sparkling with tears. She broke into a sob as she added, "Because it hurts, okay?" "It hurts knowing that song is for someone else."

Kai’s breath caught in his throat. For someone else? He stared at her, realization slowly dawning on him. "What are you talking about?"

Her voice trembled as she blurted out, "You wrote it for her, didn't you?" before she could stop herself. "The girl who’s always watching us from the front row. Every time you sing it, it feels like a reminder that you’ve fallen for someone else. I just can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt anymore."

As her words sank in, Kai's heart began to beat in his chest. He was unaware that she had been feeling this way. Her pain, her reluctance, her distance—all of it made sense at once.

"No," he muttered, emotion erupting in his voice. "No, you’ve got it all wrong."

She blinked; she was confused. "What do you mean?"

"‘Princesa’ isn’t for her," Kai murmured as he moved in closer, his hand gently cupping her cheek. "It’s for you. It’s always been for you."

Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes widened in disbelief. "What?"

Kai grinned, speaking barely audible. "I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I just... didn’t know how to tell you. So I put it into a song, hoping you’d realize it was about you. But I guess I wasn’t as clear as I thought."

She could not believe what she was hearing, so she just stared at him. All this time, she had been hurting over a misunderstanding. "You... you love me?"

With a nod, Kai wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "Yeah, I do. I always have."

As she gazed into his eyes and realized at last what she had been missing for so long, her heart began to fill with emotion. "I love you too, Kai," she said.

With a growing smile, Kai drew her closer to him and embraced her before she could speak another word. They stood there, holding another in the silence that no longer hurt, and for the first time, the burden of unsaid feelings lifted.

The song that had previously caused them pain now became a symbol of everything they hadn’t said—but everything they felt. And now they had finally found their way to each other.