#the perfect woman doesn’t exi-

[trek-tracks]

Important addition. Happy birthday!

Happy Birthday, Gates McFadden! (March 2, 1949)

[yourleftpinkytoe-blog]

Pinkytoe’s top ten Aftg hot takes

Read with caution I’m very passionate about my thoughts and did not hold back on my opinions. This is not an attack on people who think differently it is me putting my perspective out there.(with some harsh wording)

1: The rift in Andrew and Aaron’s relationship is just as much Aaron’s fault as it is Andrew’s.

A lot of the time I see people framing Aaron as Andrew’s victim which is a weird interpretation of their relationship to me. It’s not just Andrew controlling Aaron, it is also Aaron fundamentally not understanding that Andrew is a person who has thoughts and feelings. Aaron fundamentally doesn’t understand that Andrew is not doing everything in his power to hurt Aaron he’s just trying not to lose Aaron. So with that understanding Aaron goes out of his way to hurt Andrew like aaron thinks he’s doing to him. The whole dynamic is toxic but neither is exclusively the perpetrator or the victim. The deal is a double edged sword and when people pretend otherwise it feels like it’s doing a disservice to the reality of the situation.

2: Erasing Aaron’s homophobia is not the take that some people think it is.

I see a lot of people making claims that Aaron isn’t homophobic he just doesn’t like hearing about his family’s sex lives. But I feel like people are blinded by their love of his character to see that his homophobia is a character flaw of his. He was raised by Tilda. Tilda was raised with Luther. It would not surprise me if she saw extremely homophobic. Also it takes place in 2006/7 casual homophobia was so fucking rampant… obviously he’s gonna have some uncomfortable opinions on gay people. But being homophobic is not a permanent state of being he can and probably will grow from where he is in canon. Pretending his comments in canon arn’t what they are is taking a layer from his characterization.(plus a layer from the rift in Andrew and Aaron’s relationship is Aaron’s homophobia soooo)

3: Thea was not nearly as bad as some people make her out to be and the whole situation reeks of racism

Yall I said it once and I’ll say it again. THEA AND KEVIN DIDNT START DATING TILL KEVIN WAS A COLLAGE FRESHMAN AND SHE WAS A SINIOR. They were both consenting adults who were in the same shitty traumatizing situation. Stop saying she’s a pedo stop acting like her being mad that he practically cut her out of his life for a year is unjustified. there relationship doesn’t seem perfect but it is not how some people portray it. Stop ur being racist to the only canon black woman!

4: all the hate that the fandom has for Thea should be amplified and given to Roland.

Now let’s see… Roland was 23 when he and a 16 year old Andrew started hooking up. Now that’s some pedo shit. Not only that, but Roland was if fucking boss at the time. Andrew had to tie Roland down in order to make Roland not touch him. You know the teenager he’s hooking up with. I said it once and I’ll say it again, fuck that bitch he’s a shitty shitty person who deserves all the hate the fandom could give him.

5: Hating Riko and thinking he got what was coming for him in the end and understanding that he’s a victim in his own way are not mutually exclusive. I can hate that fucker and still feel bad for him.

I think I explained this in the description well enough

6: Neil’s demisexuality/demiromatisism is non-negotiable. That shit is an important part of his character and erasing it for the sake of shipping is weird as hell.

I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve seen people just take away Neil’s demi identity’s because they want to read about him fucking everyone except the one character he’s been show to have romantic/sexual feelings for. Like I’ve seen people so upset he didn’t end up with Kevin and I’m just like yeah��� cause he’s not into Kevin. Makes sense to me. I see so much…

*insert quote about how Neil have and idol like admiration for Kevin and his exy skills*

“Omg Neil wants to fuck Kevin sooooo bad it’s canon*

Like honestly ship whatever but don’t try to change the canon to justify it. Have your fun stop being stupid.

7: While Nicky’s actions in the first book inexcusable, the rampant mischaracterization of him to make him worse than canon is not cool.

This isn’t as big of an issue to me but I see people portraying Nicky as like an actual sexual predator and not just a person who lacks understanding of personal boundaries. What he did to Neil is super fucked up and I’m not excusing him (or anything he did in the first book tbh) but changing him to make the situation more back and white than it is is odd to me.

8: on a similar topic you can not compare what Nicky did in Columbia to what Andrew did.

Andrew had a justified reason for what he did. He is protecting Kevin from the fucking mafia and this shady Kid shows up with a stalker binder and a shit ton of money all while looking like he came off the street. It’s suspicious as hell. Also I want to add that he is on mind and mood altering drugs. The situation is fucked and looking at it from Neil’s perspective it’s even more so cause we know he is not involved in a malicious way, but Andrew didn’t. He acted with every justification while Nicky did not, the only reason Nicky did what he did is cause he wanted to. Both are not good but you can’t compare the two.

9: While kevins alcoholism is not good, the way his fans frame it is grossly misrepresenting the situation.

In the books Kevin is not in a mental state to handle getting sober on top of everything else. His alcoholism is bad and everyone knows it but it is the only thing getting him through things without causing him to shut down. It’s not good but if it’s what he needs to get through this then that’s what he needs. When he’s not in the middle of a mob war he’ll be in a better position to handle himself without alcohol. He’s not a helpless bbg he’s a grown man just trying to get by and if it helps it helps.

10: I do not get the hype around Kevin.

This might be my most controversial take tbh…Like he’s a cool character. And I love him as much as the other foxes but I don’t understand the recent wave of him getting babygirlified. Is it the queen symbolism? Is it just cause he’s conventionally attractive? Is it cause that one scene in the kings men where he was cunty as fuck? No clue.

but yall have fun I may not get it but it is entertaining as shit

[cultpastorkevin]

riko :: what if

“Finally a stranger steps forward to introduce himself and his team of psychiatrists. The university has brought in counselors, he says. The university has called their parents. The university is closing the Nest.”

What if instead of being killed, what if Riko was alive when Tetsuji stepped down? What if he was there with the other ravens, watching Jasmine break a tv and dragged away? What if he lived?

Would it have been better? Would he have survived? Could he?

the university is closing the nest.

ichirou doesn’t want him. neither does tetsuji.

the university is closing the nest.

intensive therapy is required for him, but it’s hard, because he’s in his twenties now, they don’t say it but he knows the therapists and social workers he meets with don’t have high hopes for him to make a full recovery. too old they say, he was in there too long, it’s a miracle he is still alive

theuniversityisclosingthenest.

exy is all he knows and it’s stripped away; no one wants the raven captain on their team, not after the news articles. not after the interviews. he’s a risk, they say, a liability, he’s clearly unstable, they can’t keep someone like him in line, after all, those from the nest are damaged goods, he is not worth the effort

theuniversityisclosingthenest.

he was not abused; everything that happened to him was for a reason, he argues, he is better because of it, he would not be perfect court would not be captain would not be himself if he wasn’t; he gets violent, lashing out, getting cruel when the therapist asks him if he thinks it was worth it

what does she mean? being the best will always be worth it, there is nothing for him if it’s not number one

when she asks if being so afraid was worth being the best, he has no response

the university is closing the nest.

his body has been absorbing trauma since he was born; he had exy to help expel it, it kept him from crumbling to pieces, it was easy to believe that what was done to him was because he was a Son of Exy, that the pain and suffering was birthright because he would win Olympic gold and all the trauma is justified if it makes you better, stronger, makes you able to take a hit and by god he knew how to take a hit and he learned how to make his own count and he made sure his ravens knew it too because if his bite could not drown out his bark he would not survive

even after kevin abandoned him, when tetusji made sure that he was more blood and bruises than skin, he picked up his pieces and came back a thunderstorm of his own making because exy was a birthright no one could take from him, he would survive without kevin, he had to

the university is closing the nest

he is a villain but not entirely of his own creation, he was molded into hatred and fed pain instead of love; he is at fault for everything he’s done but what was done to him was not his fault, it is a hard pill to swallow; the pain he considered birthright was a lie, and not for the first time, the 1 on his cheek itches to be sliced off; once he understands what his therapist is saying, a woman who specializes in cult survivors, he chokes

he could’ve been different. it could’ve been different. he had dished out to others what he was trying to outrun. biting the hand that touched him was out of the question, so he turned rabid on those around him, becoming the very thing he himself was afraid of.

you are not tetsuji the therapist says

aren’t I? is his reply

the university is closing the Nest.

failed ravens have a tendency to commit suicide

[servicetopglinda]

The perfect woman doesn’t exis—

[ai-dump]

The perfect woman for Tumblr doesn’t exis…

Christ.

WTF MidJourney?

I know there’s a work around using the Remix function, but this is just hilarious. The prompt I used doesn’t reveal my persistent and perverse use of the down-pan extension feature.

a blond, blonde girl with dark lipstick with blue eyes, in the style of polished craftsmanship, soft color blending --iw 1 --s 1000 --c 20 --style raw

[1universe1soul]

The Perfect Woman Doesn’t Exi—

[lilymoran281986]

The perfect woman doesn’t exi- | Link to her tiktok in link source below

[emmania]

The perfect woman doesn’t exis...

[olivewilliams381990]

The perfect woman doesn’t exi- | Link to her onlyfans in link source below

[ashiemochi]

pussidon - ACT II | xxi

✠ Pussidon ↳ sounds like trouble ↳↳ can we eat it?

➶ pairing: OC x Leon S(exy) Kennedy. ➶ genre: fluff, angst, gore, smut/suggestive themes ➶ word count: no

NOTE: ✠ = time skip ✠✠ = switching povs/characters

♰ Content includes: soft dirty talk, nipple play (if you squint), foreplay (f receiving, m receiving), oral (f receiving), overstimulation, mentions of masturbation, +11.6k words of pure 'ily' filth.

Also, I tried not to use So Ah’s name much to keep this as self-indulgent as I possibly can. Have fun! but not too much👀

prev -> ✠

It was a quarter past eleven when she found herself in her studio. Leon had gone to their bedroom, suggesting to catch some sleep and that they can catch up in the morning when they’re both well-rested. 

Leon even did the dishes despite her wanting to, saying how she needs to relax. 

Jetlag is a bitch.

Canvases of different sizes and shapes were hung up on the walls. Her art desk always looked like such a mess, clutters of papers and pens scattered around like she was speed-painting in real life. She does remember being in a rush to get ready and leave for the speech at Tall Oaks University after having lost track of time painting away. 

A half-finished covered canvas sat on her easel and she tilted her head at it, not really remembering this one. She kind of recalls the thought process of sketching it out but putting down colours was delayed due to the event. She resorted to throwing a blanket over it and then dipped to get ready for the speech. 

With curiosity itching at her fingertips, she carefully tugged the hem of the fabric down. As it draped and pooled around the legs of the easel, her breath was taken away at the sight. 

The colour blocking was rough but the shapes were well placed. The red paint on the canvas matched her cheeks as she took in the undone sketch. She had the habit of jumping straight to colours, using a soft red-tinted brown to place down the anatomy and the idea of the sketch. Half of the canvas was done, leaving the rest fading out into separated lines and mixed hues. 

She could vaguely make out the two bodies – male and female. The man had the woman close to him, arms holding onto her waist. The familiar sharp jawline was drawn perfectly but the upper half of his face was smudged out, not complete. He was close to the woman’s cleavage, perfect nose nudging her neck as his rose-red lips were parted, either breathing out, breathing her in, or moaning. 

Spots of purple galaxies along with red bruises painted her body, face curtained by her smooth hair as the woman’s face was out of the canvas, leaving only her neck, torso, and a glimpse of her bent up thighs. Her arms were on his shoulders, fingers tangled in his roughed-up hair as if she had done it a million times prior.

It oozed with love and neediness. Longing. 

Her petite fingers let go of the blanket, speechless as all her emotions started crashing in one by one. Her starvation for a loving touch from a certain man, the hunger for his way of handling her body and putting her in positions he wants – something she doesn’t mind because she’d do anything to hear her name being drawled by him – and god –

His way around words, making them dirty and sultry than ever. 

She needed him. 

That was what her body’s been craving for the past month – and over. Their love-making was put on hold ever since that outbreak had happened, forcing her desire to be concealed in a jar for hours. The implanted chip made her feel worse; as if her body never belonged to her. From one mad scientist to a corrupted agency, she yearned for a loving touch.

For Leon.

She thirsts for him. 

“So Ah, where are you?” 

In a daze, the Han girl turned off the lights in her studio and walked toward his deepdeep voice. Having reached their bedroom, Leon emerged from the bathroom. His hands were rubbing against one another as if lathering something – then the scent of the sweet aloe vera rushed to her nose. 

The same lotion Leon always owned. 

Leon irked a puzzled brow at her uncharacteristic self. Her cheeks were flushed soft red, hands clenching and relaxing by her side as she gazed at him in such–

“What’s wrong?”

“... Leon…”

His mind instantly picked up on her quiet tone. It was close to a whisper.

A whimper.

Assuming something was actually up, Leon shut the bathroom door behind him and made his way to her. Concern was written all over his face with his brows knitted together subtly.

The girl couldn’t handle it, his whole fresh-scented aroma clouding up her senses like a drug. She never did drugs, but she can only guess how they feel. 

As Leon opened his mouth to talk and coax her to open up, a pair of petite hands were quick to hold his cheeks and tug him down. Leon’s eyes widened for a moment but closed once her lips were on his. The kiss was needy, being led by her entirely as Leon’s hands went to her hips, trying to keep up. 

Like it was mentioned before, she was not being herself. She was never the one to take the initiative but she does throw subtle hints.

Yet this was not subtle in the slightest.

Her lips were softer than ever, pressing up against his and moving sensually. Her body moved to his on its own as if being pulled by a magnet, not getting enough of him. Leon stumbled slightly backwards and his back met the wall with a muffled huff. As Leon kissed her back, he could tell the night was going to end differently. Not to mention her audible hums and her roaming hands.

Leon parted from her lips with a soft pop, eyes trying to catch hers but her lips only went to the spot under his jawline, receiving a hitched hiss from him. His hands tightened on her hips in an attempt to get her attention. He wasn’t going to lie that this new character of hers was evoking something wild inside of him; a need to ravish and give. 

He was a giver after all. 

“So Ah, wait–” Leon tried to speak again as she nipped at his neck, receiving yet another hiss – especially when her cold hand had slipped under his shirt, tracing his ab lines fluently as if trying to remember every inch of him again. 

Something was off – not entirely wrong, but Leon could only assume she wasn’t thinking straight. 

His hand shot down to her wrist, stopping her enticing ministrations on his abdomen and his ears perked up at the small whine from her. Fuck, it was getting hard.

Both figuratively and literally.

His erection was becoming apparent by the second yet he refused to acknowledge it. She was up on her tiptoes again with her free hand tangling her fingers with the subtle mullet of his, kissing him again and an involuntary groan came from him. Jesus Christ, the hunger was off the charts for her.

And for him too – all those lonely nights with nothing but erotic porn on his screen and a right hand in his pants. He preferred to have the faces of the pornstars cut out, letting his mind reimagine them as if it was him and his girl in that sensual video. The neediness for her was catching up to him, making his skin feel hot and bothered.

But not like this–

In a firm grip, Leon held the side of her face and pushed her away. Quick pants were leaving her swollen lips, matching his as she tried to get back to his addicting lips but Leon kept his hold on her. 

"What's gotten into you?" Leon questioned lowly, aware of her other hand trying to slip away. Her eyes refused to meet his, knowing she'd end up crumbling onto her knees – not like she'd mind.

Leon stared intensely into her avoidant needy cinnamons as her body pressed up against him and he brought her face back to him with a small frustrated huff. He needed her to use her words.

"Talk to – shit," Leon's head tilted low at the sudden sensation of her hand brushing against his bulge and he snarled, returning his eyes to her with a glare.

In one swift movement, Leon twisted them around so that she was pressed up against the wall. Her wrist was pressed against the wall next to her head. In a last feeble attempt to feel him up, his leg positioned itself in between hers, pinning her to the wall.

A hitched gasp came from her at the unexpected roughness and Leon turned her head up so she could finally meet his lust-blown intimidating azuls, his hand gripping her jaw to force the eye contact.

"So Ah, what the hell is up with you?" Leon snapped, clearly growing sexually frustrated.

"Please." She finally whispered, no longer trying to hide her need for him and Leon's eyes widened a bit at the tears in her eyes.

"I want you – I…" She took in a shuddering breath, trying to pry away her right hand from his, the other gripping the side of his sweatpants to tug him closer to her core, "I missed you so bad."

"Please, Leon," Her voice dropped to a whimper, desperation more apparent than ever, "You – didn't you… Miss me too?"

Leon pressed his lips together, almost feeling bad for having been far away from her for a long while, "Of course, I did, sweetheart. But you're still griev–"

She shook her head quickly like a little kid refusing to eat veggies, "I'm begging you," She cut him off, pleading teary orbs staring right up at him.

Her head dropped to his chest as she murmured, admitting defeat, "I lied, okay? So many horrible things happened in that past month and–"

Tell him.

"My family's still mourning about her–"

He won't be mad.

"Everything's been so overwhelming and I don't feel okay. A–And I…"

The tracker.

Her voice ended up in a hitch, hand reaching up from his sweatpants all the way up to his shirt's collar, holding it as if to cradle her bearings. Her shoulders shook visibly, voice coming out soft and pleading, "I just need to feel like myself again, Leon…”

“So Ah…” Leon released a sigh with a frown, dropping his hand from her cheek to the space between her shoulder and neck to gently massage her sore muscles, “Things like this take time. You just lost your sister and–”

“No, no – I know that.” She interrupted, shaking her head as the grip on his shirt’s collar tightened, “But I need… I want to move on and forget. I – I… Want to feel like I’m alive…”

Leon met her teary, soulful ambers when she lifted her head up. Her hand reached up to the side of his neck, thumb caressing his jawline timidly. Leon was still unsure, darting his eyes to the side to try and think. 

His fiancee had gone through a traumatizing night where she ended up losing her own sister, she stayed with her family for over a month to deal with the grief and now that she’s back, she’s desperate – completely and utterly submitting herself to him.

Something still felt a bit off like a missing piece of a puzzle but he didn’t know what it was. Not to mention, they never had the chance to really talk and for him to figure out what was truly the reason behind her neediness to have his hands on her. 

And he’d be cast as a deceiver by God himself if he were to lie and say that her seduction wasn’t working. After all, Leon needed her too.

To the girl, she was out of space. Her body was thrown from plastic gloved hands to another and it felt like her body truly wasn’t her own. In her mind, she believed a loving and intimate night with her future-to-be husband would revive her senses. She’d feel one again. 

No tracker.

No BSAA’s medics on her ass, watching every single step. 

Not a single corrupted mastermind aiming for world domination.

 

In a sense, she needed to unwind and forget everything even for just a moment. It’d allow her true thoughts to come through and allow her to think clearly – or clear enough. And if she knew any better from all those restless nights she had had with Leon, she knew it would be a wake-up call. 

“Leon…” She mumbled softly with the faintest of smiles, similar to the one she gave him on a certain hot day in August, “I want you to…” Her breath shuddered, forcing her voice to trail away. 

Adam’s apple bopped visibly when he swallowed thickly, and Leon’s eyes narrowed down darkly at her words. The hold on her wrist stiffened as his body subconsciously leaned forward when he inquired.

“Want me to what?”

Her ambers lightened up noticeably, cheeks turning redder than ever and she gulped down air to answer. Her brows curled up in the middle – the word ‘please’ never seemed more clear and submissive. His lips were inches apart from hers yet he was so so close that she could pick up the scent of the minty mouthwash he used. 

“I want you to fuck me,” Then her voice hitched to a whine when his left brow twitched at that word, “Like you. Need. Me.”

And just like that, the erotic heavy tension in the room reached its peak. Everything within Leon snapped at that, the chains of restraint dissipating into thin air. The craving welled-up tears in her eyes, the pleading glow within her dilated pupils, the redness of her nose and cheeks matching that of her slightly swollen lips, and the utter desperation in her voice.

Leon kissed her hard.

Nose bumping against hers along the way, he received a soft muffled sound, a little squeak in surprise. His lips met hers in a bruising way, teeth nearly crashing into one another but she didn’t mind, accepting it with greed. His fingers curled behind the nape of her neck, holding onto her face with a similar need and tilting her head to the side to deepen the liplock. 

Her breath was knocked out of her when his tongue slipped in without permission – not like she’d refuse it – and a whimper was swallowed by him, muffled by his own faint moan. It marked its not-so-new territory like it was the first time. Fire ignited within him at her hips trying to move against his thigh and he released her hand only to place his on her hip, pushing her down against him. 

A single tense from his thigh was all it took to receive an audible mewl from her. Leon seriously was about to lose his mind – adoring how responsive she was and they barely even started. Days and days of not seeing one another and hours upon hours of dealing with a viral outbreak – the desire for one another was skyrocketing through the roof. 

The need to be inside of her soaking cunt, the hunger for her soft petite hand wrapped around his aching cock with his mouth latched onto her bosoms; it was getting too much. 

Like an aphrodisiac, if you will.

She pulled away reluctantly from the kiss for some stupid air, panting heavily and Leon interrupted her by dipping his head to plant wet kisses along with butterfly ones, his long lashes and the stubble tickling her skin. A choked-up whine came from her throat, hand shooting down to hold his wrist when he tugged her hips closer, rubbing her clothed heat against his glorious thigh. 

“Le - ah,” She couldn’t even speak, drunk in his love as her free hand went to wrap around his neck, fingers residing in the back of his head. 

“Fuck, I’ve–” Leon groaned audibly, pressing up against her even more till there was little to no space left between them, “You got no god damn clue how long I’ve waited for this – couldn’t even jack off without thinking about you.”

Another whine emitted from her when the tension felt suffocating but in a good way – in a way she always dreamed of every night whilst touching herself, wishing it was his fingers. His hand slipped from her jaw to her back, pushing her close to him to place his kisses lower to her collarbones. 

“Don’t – don’t hold back,” She stammered, head tilting back against the wall followed by a high-pitched plea, “Please.”

Leon's lips connected with the collar of her button-up sweater, brows furrowing in annoyance. Releasing her back, he gripped the centre of her sweater and practically tore it open, the buttons now hanging limply by a knitted thread. 

Her chest heaved for air when her bra was out for show. It was a simple cute blue lacy bra with a small adorable bow in the middle. It hugged her breasts beautifully and Leon couldn’t help but tenderly yet firmly hold one. A moan came from her when he kneaded her breast, lips trailing up her neck to connect with hers after finishing its painting session. 

She whimpered against his sensual and loving lips, parting hers for their tongues to meet once again. The moist sounds along with his pleased hums made her head feel dizzy with lust. The uncomfortable wetness in between her thighs was becoming apparent, making her grow frustrated as she pushed his thigh away and he let her, completely taken away by her softsoft lips and the supple bosom of hers. 

She used one hand to slide up her skirt, blindly finding her underwear to push them low – or as low as she could reach.

“Please…” She parted to whimper, reaching for his hand to guide him where she needed him the most, “Touch me…”

Leon bit on his bottom lip, letting his fingers trail across her slit and he muffled a groan at the lewd sound she made when her arousal soaked his index finger. He dragged it all the way up to her clit then back down, deeply surprised with how wet she was – how ready. 

“F – shit, Leon-mh~” The Han girl whined, hips twitching forward for his touch and a low huff came from him in amusement. 

“You’re so fucking wet for me, baby.” Leon hummed, briefly kissing her as his other hand released her chest to hold her hip, “So responsive.”

With lithe but thick fingers, Leon dragged two in her folds right next to her clit, clearly entranced with how easily his fingers were moving – so slick. The room was barely lit by the two nightlights on each side of their king-sized bed but he could still see the glistening surface on his digits. It led her to yelp softly when a middle and an index finger smoothly went inside of her wet pussy. 

A rumbled chuckle vibrated against her chest from his as Leon tilted his head down to nudge her nose with his, a subtle smile plastered on his face. He was enjoying this; probably a bit too much but he deserved it just like she did. 

Choked moans escaped through her lips when he began pumping his fingers in and out, slowly but reaching deep with each thrust. She could feel herself growing wetter and hotter, her gummy walls squeezing around him as a silent ��speed up.’

Leon chose not to listen to that. He had another plan in mind regarding getting her gushing. 

“I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.” Leon whispered right next to her ear, planting an innocent kiss on her cheekbone. 

“Leo – n, please.” She heaved, her hand reaching for his forearm for something to hold onto yet it only made her more aroused as his arm was moving back and forth. Just like his hand and fingers. 

A deep snicker emitted from the man behind it all, the squelching sounds of her wetness along with his thrusts going amorously well with his voice. Like a perfect note to classical music. Leon leaned forward and kissed her brow sweetly but she knew it was anything but such. It was a taunt – a seductive one. It was an indication that said; patience.

So Ah waited months for this. She had no patience or willpower left in her anymore. 

But Leon had the upper hand, wrapped around his fingers – literally. 

The heavenly growing feeling started becoming more apparent with every thrust, making her lips part open for her whines and mewls. Legs were beginning to shake pathetically, unable to keep her standing for too long with Leon finger-fucking her deep and sl–

Oh, he upped the ante. 

“Leon, Leon – mh.” She gasped, the knot twisting and coiling in the lowest part of her abdomen. In an attempt to keep herself up, her hand shot out to hold onto her vanity’s table, nails scratching uselessly against the well-painted white surface. 

With a simple glance to the side, Leon removed his fingers. She could only stare in surprise as he brought his two fingers up to his lips. He held eye contact as he set his fingers on his tongue, lips pursing around them as he licked them clean. Those same fingers that were once in her. 

Fuck, he was going to be the death of her. 

Leon sighed out audibly when he pulled his fingers out, licking his lips then he nudged her chin up with the side of his index and a dark look. 

“I want to taste you,” Leon deeply murmured, lips brushing against hers just a little but enough to make her feel dizzy, “Can I?”

Who in their right god damn mind would say no to such a request?

She could only nod, whimpering out a small ‘mhm’ before closing the distance between their lips. Leon let her, moaning against her lips and he pushed his tongue inside – not like he needed to since her plumplum lips were parted for him anyway. His hands trailed down the small of her back, grabbing a handful of her ass to tug her close. 

A small sound came from her as she slid off her shirt, letting it fall to the ground then she wrapped her arms around his neck. His wandering hands went lower to the back of her thighs, slipping her panties to let them fall down to her ankles. He barely released her lips, a raspy whisper made her feel way more drenched.

“Jump.”

Like a trained puppy, she did and Leon held her, picking her up with ease as her underwear was left discarded next to the shirt. She fully expected to be tossed onto the bed by now – but what did she not expect was being set on something cold. She gasped faintly, pulling away from the kiss to find herself on her vanity table. Leon spared her a small sultry smile before lowering himself down to a low lunge. 

Her hands shot down to hold onto the edge of the desk for some balance and her scattered bearings, strands of hair slipping to curtain her face angelically. Wide cinnamons watched him as he tugged her hips forward so that her cunt was all for him, his sharp blues feasting on the sight of it. 

“Stay still. Okay, princess?” 

Princess. 

That was new. 

Pushing her leg up so her foot was set next to her hand, Leon planted a small kiss on her inner thigh. His other hand hiked her skirt up so it pooled over her abdomen. The moment his tongue slid all the way up from her core to her clit, her back arched and a sharp gasp emitted from her. A hum of amusement vibrated against her, making her whimper when Leon dove in. 

Licking and kissing all the way, sending her squirming for him to stop teasing her. He latched his mouth onto her little pearl – right where she needed him the most – and steadily rubbed his tongue against and over it. It moved sensually, easily finding that pattern to repeat to bring her closer and closer to cloud nine. 

“Leon~” She whimpered, trembling hand reaching for his locks of ash-blond hair, running her fingers through them. A certain suck made her eyes widen and lips part for a hitched gasp, fingers tangling with his hair in a near rough way. 

Leon hissed against her clit and trailed his hand to her upper thigh from the side, grabbing a handful of her supple flesh before pulling her mush to his face. He couldn’t get enough of her sweetness with a hint of bitterness – the perfect combination for his taste buds. He may not have a thing for desserts but if her sugary cunt was a choice in a buffet; then that’s all he’ll be having. 

His groan vibrated her bundle of nerves, sending her mind reeling and his azuls to roll to the back of his head briefly when her delicious-sounding moans returned along with her nails scratching his scalp. The slurping sounds were beginning to get louder as he pursed his lips around her clit, sucking it into his mouth with his tongue relentlessly rubbing that sensitive spot. 

Heavy incoherent pants came from above, her begs and warnings coming out choppy and high-pitched as her hips ground against his lips. Leon hummed, pleased as he gave her what she wanted. Tugging her close one last time, she had her back leaning against her mirror, gasping and whining at the building pleasure. 

Her hips were hanging off the edge, completely at Leon’s mercy. Her foot had slipped, sliding down his broad back to settle the back of her knee on his shoulder. The other had bent up to join, shyly caging his head in between her thighs where he ate her up like no one has ever done before. Her pussy was gushing and twitching, clit throbbing with need.

“Leon~! I’m – oh, god – ah~!” 

A loud moan of his name drawled out of her wet lips, practically going cross-eyed for a moment as a white-hot pleasure washed over her like an epiphany. Her hips stuttered as her cry of pleasure rang throughout the bedroom. Leon moaned against her cunt, lapping up all her cum to not leave anything behind. 

“Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy. Mmh~” Leon cursed, words coming out slurred against her pussy, mouth still sucking to urge her for more, “That’s it, keep cumming.”

Her legs felt like jello, shaking visibly around him as her eyes screwed shut when overstimulation kicked in. She shrieked at the high pleasure, weak hand trying to push his head away from her sensitive pearl. His grip on her thighs tightened, nails digging into her skin as he drank her up like a ravaged hungry man. 

Instinctively, her thighs clamped shut and tears began brimming from the corner of her eyes.

“Leon, wa – wait! Stop!” The Han girl cried out, hips writhing to escape his tongue assault and as if waking up from hypnotism, Leon released her swollen clit. She collapsed against the mirror, breathing heavily for air as her heart pounded erratically against her chest.

Leon chuckled in a hum, amused by her sensitivity as he nosed the tip of her clit, watching with half-lidded azures as it was visibly pumping. Lifting himself back up to his feet, her legs slipped down to the table and she nearly lost her balance if it weren’t for Leon to hold her. He chuckled once again as he got her to sit comfortably on the surface. 

“You did good.” Leon praised lowly, caressing her cheek as her eyes fluttered open to see him but they snapped down to her arousal glistening his mouth and chin, making his lips shine and look moremore kissable, “You still taste fucking amazing.”

She whimpered at his words, hands coming up to his collar. She pulled him close enough to connect their lips into an open-mouthed kiss. Leon’s nose scrunched up, groaning into the kiss and he tilted her head to the side, diving his tongue in to share her taste. Her hands fumbled with the buttons of his shirt but managed to untuck them. 

Leon let her strip him, his free hand going up to grope her clothed breast, applying more pressure at the centre of it where her hard nipple hid. Parting lips for just a second to breathe, Leon kissed her again, not having enough of her plumplum lips. Their tongues rubbed and nudged and Leon appreciated her still trying to keep up the feigned dominance. 

It stirred him on more, blood rushing straight to his throbbing cock. As if sensing his frustration when his hips subconsciously gyrated against the edge of the table for attention, she trailed her hands down his shredded abdomen and tugged onto his waistband. 

This time, she pulled away from his needy lips, a faint giggle coming from her when he chased her lips. A small smile made its way to his lips at her happy sound, opening his eyes to gaze into hers lovingly. 

“What is it, sweetheart?” Leon asked gently, trailing his kisses to the corner of her lips and down her jaw, “You up for another round already?”

She let out a small hum at his enticing kisses, relishing in his touches and she whispered, “I… Can I touch you?”

Leon’s kisses stilled in surprise at her request, coming up to look at her with a raised brow. 

His sweetheart was never the type to top – she was probably the most submissive person he had ever met and he had met lots of people before her. The first time he let her jerk him off, he had to teach her the basics, holding her hand that held his erected dick to ease her up and down. She was quick to pick up the pace that he likes, sending him gripping onto the edge of the seat to hold back his release.

She’d stop to check up on him, innocently worried about him and he’d only assure her she was doing great. Amazing even. 

Must've sucked for her ex – Ji Dae – to lose such an art masterpiece; carved by God himself for the lucky man.

He won’t lie and say it wasn’t one of the best handjobs he had ever gotten. Besides, after that, she cleaned him up with her tongue. She looked so sweet, so timid and shy as she had done so, sliding her tongue all over his pelvis and dick. Her little innocence was what made him snap, picking her up to have her back pressed against his chest and three fingers in too deep.

 

A little recharge before he makes her forget her own name. 

“You want to–”

“Make you cum.” She spoke quickly then her eyes darted away, growing flustered when his eyes widened at her forwardness, “If… You let me – it’s just I enjoyed it last time and I… I loved your voice.”

Leon stifled a snort, blueblue orbs glowing in adoration as he repeated, “You loved my voice?”

“Yeah…” The girl whispered, shrugging slightly as her cheeks reddened under his intense gaze – not to mention his hand still shamelessly kneading her breast, “You sound…”

“I sound?”

“Pretty.”

God have mercy.

The floor beneath him suddenly felt like quicksand at her proclamation. Red rushed up the sides of his neck and to his ears, pinking due to her compliment. Leon wasn’t embarrassed when it came to moaning – he was pretty audible in making his partner know that he was enjoying the intimacy with them. He did get told that he needs to be on the quieter side – which never resulted in a second night. 

But as if God bestowed upon him an angel to make up for all the shit he had gone through with the cannibalistic zombies, he had met this little artist who only praised his deep moans. It was one of her many turn-ons. 

“I never thought I’d hear you say that,” Leon murmured, a smile spreading across his face. 

Her cinnamons glinted in a shy glow, “Does that mean…?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. You can make me cum.” Leon laughed lightly at her blush deepening before kissing her, smiling against the liplock. He brought his hips closer to the edge, giving her a silent indication that she has permission to take his sweatpants off.

With timid hands, she pushed it down, letting it pool around his ankles and he kicked them off. She broke the kiss to gaze up at him, ��Can we move to the bed? The table’s kind of uncomfortable.”

Fuck, did she look so flustered as if this was her first time since she had sex with him. Mind you, they’ve been together for close to seven years. Yet to her, it’s always like the first time. 

First time falling in love with him – and he falls in love with her deeper each day. 

“Say no more.” Leon winked at her, receiving a fit of squeals when he picked her up with ease. She kissed him sweetly as he walked them to their bed, sitting down at the edge and he let his fingers graze down her back lightly. 

With slight shuffles, Leon rested his back against the headboard and the mountains of fluffed-up pillows; all whilst attempting to keep her lips on his. Few scattered playful giggles and chuckles emitted from both of them as they settled down – the Han girl on his thighs and Leon laid back. 

“Hold on.” Leon leaned forward for a moment, sliding off his shirt completely before tossing it to the ground. As if this was the first time, his fiancee marvelled at the sight of his toned body.

His body had become buffer and stronger since the day she met him. More permanent scars adorned his frame, showing years and years of battle wounds and strength training. It allowed his body to be fit and strong for any mission. Like a Greek God carved by Adonis himself to bring up any sexual desire or attraction. 

Symbolically enough, Leon was her Adonis and she was his Aphrodite. In lesser words though, the girl was damn near drooling.

Leon’s lip irked up to a tilted grin at her lovestruck face, hands coming up her sides and caressing her skin along the way till he reached for the bra clasps behind her back. 

“Like what you see?” Leon teased, pecking one of the many galaxies in her collarbone and she shuddered when his hot breath brought on her goosebumps. 

A faint trickle made itself known in her nape which promptly went ignored. She had more important matters at hand – like making her fiance beg and cum for her all over his washboard abdomen.

Maybe that’d be a good enough excuse to lick those abs. 

Her bra straps slipped down her arms and Leon ran his hands low, ushering the straps down before tossing the clothing to join his shirt. Similarly, Leon gazed fondly at her bosoms. Her rosy buds were on the hard side, albeit still soft. He – as always – noticed the cute mole under her breast along with the small potted leaves tattoo that she had gotten weeks after the ordeal with Frederic.

It was situated under her right bosom on the side. A small reminder of her lovable plant – Minty.

“Like what you see?” His buttercup referenced him lightly with a toothy bashful grin, earning a chuckle from him.

Leon brought her close with his head tilted up and planted a not-so-chaste kiss on her lips, “I’m loving what I’m seeing – you’re so god damn gorgeous, you know that, right?” Leon hummed as she shifted to lay on her side next to him, one strong arm of his wrapped loosely around her waist and then he rested his hand on her hip for his fingers to caress her skin there. 

“... Maybe…” She avoided his admiration-filled eyes, feeling flustered. 

Leon huffed playfully, bringing up his other hand to get her to look at him, thumb stroking her jaw, “I’m serious. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

Seriously, can one fall in love even more? Was that a possible thing?

“I love you, Leon.” The girl whispered softly, running her hand down his chest to his abdomen and then back up, feeling his body shiver beneath her light touches. She moved her other arm to rest behind his head, indirectly keeping him closer to her nipples. 

Leon smiled up at her, bringing his other hand to caress her side, thumb grazing the side of her boob, “I love you too, princess.”

His perceptive eyes watched her hand trail lower to his clothed bulge. The boxer-briefs wasn’t doing squat against his hardened erection, clearly straining to keep his cock tucked in. Her hand brushed over it, gently squeezing him and a hummed sigh left through his lips. 

“Wow…” She muttered in light surprise as she kept her hand to feel him up, “You’re so hard.”

Leon gritted through his teeth briefly, glancing up at her as he lied his head against her upper arm, lips brushing against the skin of her tender flesh as he spoke, “Well, when someone is as responsive to getting eaten out like you, then I doubt any man in their right minds wouldn’t be as turned on.” 

She blushed, looking down at him as her hand froze, thumb barely rubbing where his tip lay, “You mean it?”

“Of course, I do, So Ah. I don’t say things I don’t mean,” Leon breathed out, internally speechless at how worked she got him so fast and then cringed involuntarily, “And to be quite honest with you – it’s fucking painful.”

Her cinnamons widened in concern and he continued before she could ask if he was okay.

“I’ll be fine as long as you get to it.” Leon said, voice dropping an octave. A warning.

“Unless you changed your mind because I really want to be inside you right now.”

She was quick to shake her head, biting back a shy smile at his words, “Okay, I’ll ease away the pain.”

She slipped her hand under his garment to usher him out, cold fingers gently holding him. Leon muffled his sound, staring sharply as she slipped his dick out. It stood tall and red at the tip – she blinked in surprise. Tilting her head to the side in erotic curiosity, she trailed her hand down to his heavy sack, earning a hiss from him. 

“You done staring?” Leon raised a brow, clearly holding onto thin strings to not switch them around and drill his cock mercilessly into her cunt. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” She gave him a genuine apologetic smile, “You just look so pretty.”

That simple compliment made his cock twitch on its own and he hoped to all Gods she didn’t notice it. Fortunately, she didn’t and she pushed his last garment down with the help of him raising his hips. Nestling back down onto the bed, Leon propped up his leg as her hand got to work. 

She started out slow as she always does. Leon had noticed that whenever she’d offer to touch him, she’d always start with gazing at his cock as she stroked him in that perfect slow pace with her hand keeping a gentle squeeze. Another hummed sigh emitted from him, eyes fluttering shut despite him wanting to watch her jerk him off. 

“Fuck…” Leon drawled, ducking his head to the space between her neck and shoulder as his hand trailed up to cup her bosom. 

She held a soft innocent smile on her face as she rubbed his dick up and down, pecking the crown of his head as she whispered, “Does that feel good? Am I doing okay?”

Leon wished he knew better about her feigned innocence.

“Oh, you’re doing fucking fantastic, baby.” Leon mumbled, grinding his hips a bit into her hand, a silent ‘faster’ as he kissed her bosom and pinched the other. 

A small whimper came from her and this time, she noticed the twitch in his cock. Leon didn’t stop though, pulling her nipple into his mouth to twiddle it with his tongue and keeping his other hand busy with kneading her supple flesh – sometimes clasping his index and middle finger to squeeze her bud in between them. 

And she nearly crumbled, threading her fingers through his hair to pull him close with a louder whimper and consequently, the hand on his cock sped up. 

His moans’ vibration ran through her nerves as she twisted her hand downward, running her fingers against his heavy sack before back up to the tip. She paid special attention to his balls and the tip, knowing that was where he was most sensitive. 

His pants became heavier and heavier with her touches, using his other hand to push her chest closer to his mouth, teething her nipple. A faint squelching sound started becoming audible when his precum made its presence known. A glint appeared in her eyes at the sight of the barely clear wetness emitting from the tip. She scooped it and then lathered it up down his cock, earning a hiss from him when she slowed down. 

Ever so gently with a tightened squeeze, she fondled his sack, spreading his precum all over it. With her nails, she ran them down his inner thigh and Leon cursed, brows furrowed deeply in the middle as he opened his eyes to glare up at her. 

“You’re such a tease.” Leon hissed out, hips bucking once to get her to hold him again but she only removed her hand, giggling. 

“Learned from the best.” She replied back with a toothy smile. 

Her hand held him once again, wrapping her glistening fingers around him to pump him. Steadily, she picked up the pace to a normal one, enjoying his huffs and moans as the hand on her hip tightened its grip. His cock, if possible, grew harder in her hand and Leon panted, head falling back and releasing her rosy hardened bud.

“Keep going… Fuck, don’t stop.”

A familiar uncomfortable sensation began growing in between her legs, making her whimper uneasily at the feeling as she rubbed her thighs together for some friction. She should’ve learned better that Leon being vocal was a turn-on for her. Not to mention his other hand was still twiddling and twisting her poor nipple, sending electrifying surges of pleasure straight to her clit.

But she pushed on, trailing her hand back down to his sack then back up, stroking the tip directly and Leon’s propped leg twitched. A loud groan came from him, feeling her fingers trace the bulging veins on the side as she twisted her hand over the angry red blunt tip.

“Shit! That feels so damn – oh, baby – so good.” Leon moaned, his hand releasing her bosom to hold her hand over his cock. His fiancee blushed heavily at his ministration as he fucked her hand, even his hips were grinding up.

“Just like this, mmh~” Leon urged her to speed up to the pace that he likes, hand guiding hers and she followed, “Keep touching me like this.”

Without thinking too much about it, she hooked her leg over his thigh for more space.

“You look so pretty with my hand wrapped around you like this, Leon.” She whispered, kissing his forehead sweetly as his half-lidded eyes watched her hand, releasing it to grip the sheets next to him. 

With the way she was working him, his climax was nearing explosively and slowly. She grew so much as a person but mostly with how to make his orgasms stronger and send his thighs tensing. Wait till you find out how she offered head to release some tension when he was doing paperwork.

“You want to what?” Leon had asked, surprised as his fingers froze over his keyboard. 

“...I don't want to repeat it – it’s embarrassing.” She had replied, avoiding his perceptive eyes.

“You just asked if you could suck me off while I was working.” Leon had raised an eyebrow, a smirk teasing his lips.

“Ugh, I knew this was a mistake – Cho said her boyfriend likes it when she does it to him and–”

“And you thought I’d like it too…”

“Maybe… I mean… It was just a suggestion…” She was flustered, hands squeezing one another, “I’ll just leave – I’m sorry–”

“Come back here, sweetheart.” Leon had laughed, waving her over, “I didn’t say no.”

She stared in shock, heat rushing to her cheeks, “... Are you serious?”

“How can I refuse such an offer?” Leon had chuckled, glancing over at his screen, “I’ve got about an hour worth of reports and I do need to release some tension.”

“I’ll make it worth your time, I promise!”

“I know you will.”

“S-shit! So Ah,” Leon threw his head back, eyes squeezing shut as his brows furrowed deeply at the way she stroked him how he likes it, “Fuck, you’re gonna make me – ah – cum~”

“It’s okay, honey.” The girl gave him a cute loving smile, “I’ve got you.”

Leon felt his heart pound heavily against his chest, ears focusing on her steady breathing and the audible wet sounds coming from his throbbing cock. Leon trailed his blues up to her, his breaths coming out through his faintly swollen parted lips as he gazed at her adoringly. 

Though the room was barely lit, Leon could see the lustful shy glow in her eyes and the flushed skin of hers. Her auburn hair cascaded over her shoulders, side bangs partially covering her cinnamon eyes that he oh so loved. 

She truly was one of a kind. 

The Han girl slowed her hand a bit, feeling a dull ache growing. The small pause was enough to hinder his orgasm and alert him.

“D–Don’t fucking stop.” Leon snapped, voice coming out in a growl and he was vaguely aware of the aching in her dominant wrist, rephrasing his wordings, “Please don’t. You got me so close – shit…”

A whimper.

A motherfucking whimper.

To say she was speechless to hear that tone in his deep ass raspy but smooth voice was an understatement – and she wanted more of it. Angling her wrist just right, she pumped his cock up and down, thumbing his tip each time she was up then grazed his sack with her pinky when she went down.

His hips bucked at this, his eyes rolling to the back of his head with a moan, ending with a shuddered inhale. His precum made it easier and slicker for her to jerk him off. Countless emotions ran through him along with the nightmarish memories of dealing with the outbreak. 

They could’ve died. 

She could’ve died.

His lover felt his hand cup her jaw, tugging her to look at him. Leon hummed audibly, nose scrunching up for a moment as her hand was still jacking his cock off to ease him to cum.

“I’ve missed you, bad.” Leon confessed, swallowing thickly as if to hold back his moans of pleasure, “I didn’t know if we were gonna make it out of there alive but – shit.”

His head dropped back again at the growing knot and she slowed her hand down to give him room to talk. Leon replaced the lost pace by grinding his hips upwards into her hand slowly, in perfect synchronization to indulge his need for her touches. 

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if something were to happen to you,” Leon continued, thumb caressing her cheekbone with a worried frown, “This house… It didn’t feel like home when you weren’t around, So Ah. It was… Terrifying having you gone that long.”

“I can’t imagine this world without you. I missed being with you like this and god damn it, it’s scary how much I love you.” Leon took in a shaky breath, nose flaring as his fiancee stared speechlessly at his proclamation. 

The utter love and concern oozed from those lips of his. His azures never looked more beautiful and infatuated as he gazed up at her. 

“My future has you in it. Everything else is just a bonus and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.”

This was his most vulnerable moment. 

Her voice came out in a whisper, “Leon… Are you…”

And she didn’t want to jump to conclusions.

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

Leon chuckled breathlessly, nodding as he pushed a hair strand away from her face to her see cinnamons entirely, “Yeah, sweetheart – I wanna start planning our wedding.”

There were welled-up tears in those azuls, triggering her own to appear. She never felt this strongly towards anyone before and she’ll be damned if she’d let anyone take him away from her. 

Like before, the chip made itself known which she – again – ignored. Damaged or not, the BSAA can eat dirt. 

“Are you sure?” So Ah whimpered, her hand stopping completely similarly to his hips, “You really want to?”

Pacific oceans beginning to sting, Leon crinkled his nose with a subtle sniffle and a tilted smile, “Of course, I do. I put a ring on you for a reason, buttercup.”

She remembers putting the wedding plans on hold till their lives reach a more stable turn but with an occupation like this, any day could be their last. It was a mutual agreement after all.

Overwhelmed tears escaped her eyes as she nodded quickly, biting back her cries when her hand trailed to his chest, “Okay.”

Leon’s eyes lit up at her agreement, smile widening, “Okay?”

“Mhm.” She nodded again and she caught a glimpse of a sneaky tear escaping from the corner of his eye before she was pulled down. 

Their lips met passionately, kissing with utmost need and fervour. Her heart rattled against her chest at the feeling, whimpering against his lips. Leon’s fingers trailed to the back of her head, deepening the kiss with a faint groan. 

Slowly, he pushed his body up to shift their position. His hips nestled between her thighs, using his other hand to bring her beneath him. Leon unzipped the side of her skirt before tugging it down, not breaking the kiss even when she took it off completely. 

They parted briefly for air but reconnected once again, unable to have enough of each other. His fingers trailed down her navel and to her swollen clit, steadily rubbing it in circular motions. Her moan came out muffled and she was quick to return the favour, hand finding its previous spot around his throbbing cock. 

It wasn’t going to take him long to cum since he was a lot closer. Leon parted from her lips, barely grazing hers as she pumped him purposefully. His two fingers slid down to enter her cunt, settling on a similar pace to stroke that spongy spot directly whilst having the palm of his hand rubbing hard against her clit. 

Tilting her head up with a loud whine, she received a kiss on the jaw from him as Leon panted heavily. Each breath came out shorter and quicker than the other, his cock squelching audibly as he neared his climax. To him, nothing was hotter than masturbating one another – especially when this night was going to end with him inside of her sweetsweet pussy. 

“Shit, oh fuck, I’m – keep going~”

As a cherry on top, she trailed her other hand down to stroke his heavy sack, squeezing them gently. Leon cursed vocally, his face nuzzling into the crook of her neck as he finger fucked her harder, earning similar wet sounds from her wet cunt and a loud mewl from her. It was wishful thinking to want her to cum with him.

Leon’s eyes rolled to the back of his head when the hot pleasure hit him in a massive wave, moaning out loudly into her neck when his orgasm washed over him. His vision whitened for a moment, abdominals tensing as his thick cum spurted out of his cock, painting her abdomen. His sounds of pleasure mixed sinfully with her gasping ones, growing more aroused at the beautiful sight of him coming undone. 

So Ah slowed her hand to ease him down from his high, squeezing the last bit of cum out and her stomach heaved at the feeling of his hot release on her. She loved it when he came on her; made butterflies flutter in giddiness. Using her less wet hand to stroke the skin of his hip and trailing up to his waist, her other hand released him. It was understandably wet from his precum and cum. 

Leon leaned away from her neck to kiss her heavily, making her moan helplessly for a moment and he sighed audibly against her lips. Thighs still tingling, Leon pulled back with a hazy smirk, his fingers resuming their slow thrusts. 

“Your turn,” He teased when her hips writhed beneath him, “Gotta give me time to get ready again.”

Well, shit.

Gulping air thickly, the girl kept one hand on his hip and the other – the somewhat clean one – trailed up to his bicep for something to hold onto. His lips wrapped around her areola, suckling her nipple with the occasional tugging as he steadily finger fucked her, directly rubbing that spongy spot. Her chest arched up into his mouth, her yelps encouraging him for more. 

Embarrassingly enough to her, she was already panting.

“Already close, Mrs Kennedy?” Leon snickered against her tit, teeth gently biting her bud before he released it to give the other bosom the same treatment, “I can feel you squeezing around my fingers.”

Talk about duality – one moment he was emotional as he confessed his utmost feelings for her and now he was back on his teasing bullshit. 

“What if – mmh – I’ll need time to re–recover?” She whimpered, raising her hand to the back of his head, holding onto his locks as he painted yet another hickey on her bosom. 

His fingers sped up, receiving that lovable squelching in return and her moans hitched up in her throat. Her thighs tried to clamp shut to try and slow him down but his hips were still in between, semi-hard cock poking her stomach.

A dark chuckle came from him at her question; a sadistic yet fond one. 

“You’ll be fine.” Leon only reassured and she picked up on the seductive tone behind it – then she instantly was aware of his cock slowly hardening once again. 

Someone call Doja Cat because RIP that pussy. 

Deep and deep his digits went, the fleshy part of his palm rubbed her clit. The pleasure was off the charts, making her gasp and mewl uncontrollably as drool rolled down the corner of her lips. Her cinnamons grew teary, hearing the gushes from her wet cunt as he ravished her core. 

The knot began growing and coiling in her lower abdomen, sending her breathing quickening to short ones as she neared her climax. Leon trailed his eyes down to between their hips, watching like a hawk as his fingers were getting soaked. They were slipping in and out with such ease that he truly believed he could fuck her senselessly so easily. 

He trailed his other hand to her bosom, thumb and index finding refuge around her perky rosy bud. A loud hitched squeal emitted from her as he indulged in her kink with a tilted smile, twisting, pinching and tugging as he kneaded her bosom. Her arm wrapped around his neck to pull him down, pressing her lips against his.

Her pathetic moans were swallowed by him, tongue re-exploring every nook and cranny. Her hips shook as her thighs trembled with his thrusts, orgasm growing too fast and too strong. High-pitched squeaks went muffled against his sensual lips, his brows furrowing deeply at her nearing the edge. 

And just like that, his cock was good to go, painfully erect once again as it poked his abdomen for its turn in her. He could let her go only to replace his fingers with his bigbig dick – but he missed her excessively. The urge to have her shaking and crying, begging and wheezing for him was immense. Just as he was a giver, he was also a taker. 

She tried to warn him against the heavy lip-lock, her hand shooting down to hold his wrist feebly but Leon didn’t stop, hums vibrating on her lips as his thrusts sped up, shoving his fingers deep inside. 

Fireworks flashed in front of her eyes – despite them being closed for the kiss – when her orgasm washed over her. A vocal moan slipped from her swollen lips, forcing Leon to break the kiss and tower over her, sharp eyes set on her coming undone. Heavenly sounds gradually settled into small cute choppy ones, Leon removed his fingers to replace his palm’s position, toying with her clit.

Leon spread her cum all over her cunt, an audible mumble coming out in a groan, “There you go~”

Her chest heaved for air with each breath, a thin surface of sweat dampening her skin – all of this and they didn’t get down to the nitty-gritty yet. Leon planted a sweet kiss on her forehead, murmuring a small ‘good job’ and her eyes shut to relish in the lingering orgasm and his presence.

As he had mentioned before, Leon didn’t give her time to recover. The girl didn’t even have the time to notice the shuffling sounds as Leon sat back on his haunches, hands pulling her hips closer to him to drape her trembling legs around his. Leon flashed her a simple wink and she was now awfully aware of the blunt tip of his hot dick poking her cunt. 

Stars exploded in her eyes when he tugged her close, shoving his whole cock to the hilt in one single thrust. Her lips parted for a silent gasp, eyes widening as his dick nestled deep inside of her. Leon let out a grunt at the feeling of her gummy walls squeezing him already. 

“Fuck, I was right – you are soaking wet.” Leon hissed before trailing his eyes up her body, watching the way her chest was raising and lowering, bosoms decorated in galaxies that he painted. 

So Ah may be the artist in the relationship but Leon was the brush-holder in these situations. He enjoyed marking her up like a brush to a canvas, each stroke more saturated than the other. He couldn’t help but caress her sides, giving her a little bit of time to get used to his girth. He was that merciful. 

Sure, the virus would heal her up in an instant but Leon knew the feeling was still there – something the pathogen can’t touch. 

Experimentally, Leon rolled his hips back, picking up on her hitched gasps, and then back forward. A yelp came from her at the overstimulation, hands shooting down to hold onto his weakly. Her words were jumbled up, completely fucked out of her mind at the sensation of feeling so full. 

“Pleas – please, hah~ too sensitive.” 

But unfortunately for her, Leon doesn’t understand Korean – though he wants to one day. 

Going slow was thrown out of the window – Leon was a patient and well-collected man but not when his cock was twitching inside of her. Strong hands gripped her hips to guide her, thrusting forward mercilessly. It sent her shrieking and gasping at the over sensitivity, her voice never been more angelically pathetic. 

Leon gritted his teeth at her cunt swallowing him whole with each thrust, hungry sharp azures observing it as if it was one of the world’s seven wonders. Her body felt new, toes curling on the sheets for something to hold onto as her bosoms bounced with each harsh thrust. Sensitivity was still lingering for him but being addicted to her, Leon easily overpowered the urge to stop and catch a breath. 

Leon needed her to know how much she meant to him in every single way. The picture of seeing her in white at the start of a beautiful altar, walking slowly towards him with the softest make-up and smile as he’d watch her with a stupid grin on his face, clearly trying not to cry at having one of his dreams come true. 

He never believed he’d truly marry, much even find someone who’d want him. Yet, she proved him wrong, moving in next door on a certain day in August and changing his worldview with just a glance. 

Nonetheless, Leon was a sex God when it came to her body – he really knew his way around a woman’s body. It sent her mind reeling and body tingling as his hips met hers bruisingly. After weeks of being left unsatisfied and overly pressured to deal with her sister’s passing and the feeling of her body not belonging to her, So Ah needed this as much as he did. 

A loud whine emitted from her when Leon towered over her, his thrusts not stopping or slowing down one bit – in fact, they grew rougher and deeper. 

“Oh, god! Leon – ha~!” His future wife was in tears, begging and wanting more when the overstimulation subsided.

Shameless grunts and moans came from him as he dove his girth in deeper. Leon gripped the back of her knee, lifting it up and giving him the perfect spot to fuck her cunt relentlessly. A shriek died up in her throat, her nails digging into his back. The headboard bruised the wall like her thighs which definitely needed a repaint job. The subtle creaking of the bed only urged him to go harder, earning a cry from her. 

“Shit, you’re so fucking sexy like this, baby.” Leon praised through his heavy breathing, intensely gazing down at her when their foreheads met. 

Tears were streaming down the corner of her dilated eyes, nose and cheeks flushed deep red as her lips were left swollen and red from her failed attempts to keep her voice down. Good thing they lived in his mansion because if this was an apartment, they’d unquestionably get a noise complaint from the neighbours. 

She was always vocal in bed and Leon lovedloved that about her. He’d get off to her moans any day. 

She only moaned in return, each powerful thrust knocking away any understandable sentences in her head. The hand on her hip trailed up to her arm and he planted a quick romantic peck on her forearm before removing it from around his back. He pinned it to the mattress next to her head, intertwining their fingers, growling roughly at her walls clamping and squeezing him as he drilled his cock in her. Her other leg wrapped around his hip, needing more of it – more of him.

Her gasps turned to whimpers and wheezes from the immense pleasure and he grunted, the grip around her knee tightening. The wet sounds of his cock slamming into her were audible along with the skin slapping skin. His cock twitched and throbbed for more and he released her knee to plant his arm next to her head, veins bulging under his skin at the death grip he had on the pillow. 

The new position gave him the perfect movement to fuck her ruthlessly as if trying to make her one of the mattress. It forced a shriek at the position as a drawled moan of her name flew out of his lips. Leon’s chest was hovered up against hers, keeping his dick deep with each thrust as her perky nipples rubbed against his pecs. Their breaths mingled as one, moans and groans mixing sinfully with each other. 

The known knot started coiling, making her moans go frantic as her other hand held onto his broad back tightly. His back muscles tensed and shifted, leaning over her and bringing his knees a bit closer for his cock to hit her pussy to the hilt. Her clit would brush against his pelvis, sending electrifying shots down her spine. She didn't even try to tell him that she was close – he knew.

With the way her gummy walls squeezed around his drilling cock, Leon also knew he wasn't going to last long.

"No! Don't stop! Please!"

The Han girl nearly sobbed when his thrusts stopped and Leon shushed her gently, laying beside her. She felt uncomfortably empty. He wrapped an arm around her midsection, bringing her back flush against his chest before holding her knee up to part her thighs. 

"Shh," Leon murmured, planting heavy kisses on her neck and shoulder and he eased his dick back inside, "I've got you, baby. I've got you."

The unfamiliar position made her moan, his hips slamming against her from behind relentlessly. A hiss came through his gritted teeth, his arm shifting to be beneath her neck and her hand shot up to hold his desperately. Leon hammered her deeply and noisily with his cock, the blunt tip abusing her poor cervix with precision. Hooking her knee into his elbow, he was able to reach for her breast, groping it and he thumbed and pinched her nipple harshly.

A moan similar to a yelp came from her, back arching away from his chest when she came. Her body convulsed at the powerful orgasm, cum soaking his still-pounding hard-rock cock. Leon's gasp hitched up in his throat at her walls tightening to get him to cum but he was so caught up with her moans and whines to care. She felt so fucking good - it was so filthy but in a good way.

"That's right," Leon grunted, biting the skin of her neck roughly, "Keep cumming for me, baby – shit, I'm gonna –"

Releasing her tit to abuse her swollen clit, her voice went speechless at the way he was handling her body. Leon's heavy pants quickened, fingers toying her pulsating pearl firmly as he cursed. Tilting her head to him, Leon quickly met her lips in a bruising kiss that pushed him over the edge.

The world darkened for a moment when the white-hot pleasure hit him with full force as he came hard. His loud moan was muffled by her lips and she brought up her free hand to hold the back of his neck, whining against his lips at the feeling of his cock throbbing inside of her.

His hot cum shot out in creamy ropes, filling her to the brim as his eyes rolled to the back of his head, shoving his cock as deep as he can go and his toes curled up with the sheet. His thighs were left shaking at his release, fingers slowly stroking her clit as he ground into her hips gently to ease them both from cloud nine.

The room went quiet minus their heavy breathing when their lips parted. Her eyes were fluttered shut, wet lashes tickling her lower ones as her body was filled with tremors. Never had she gotten such an explosive orgasm, leaving her heart pounding and head feeling heavy with fatigue. She was vaguely aware the virus was already working to patch things up but the trickling feelings lingered. 

Leon peppered her face with small soft kisses, caressing her hip with one hand and the other stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. His sweaty strands tickled her skin as sweet nothings were whispered into her skin – something about how she did so well, how much he loved her, how beautiful she looked and so many others she couldn't pick up.

“That was amazing.” Leon murmured breathlessly, pressing a chaste kiss under her ear as his arm went around her midsection to pull her close, trailing the kisses to the corner of her lips.

His buttercup giggled tiredly at his affection, shying away from his stubble that tickled her skin and she felt him smile on her skin, “Yeah… It was…”

"You okay?" Leon asked, leaning up to look directly into her eyes.

She hummed out a small 'mhm' with a slight nod, clearly exhausted and Leon wasn't going to lie; some shut-eye sounded really good about now. Leon smiled gently at her haziness and he pecked her lips.

"I'll go run us a bath then we can sleep, alright?"

Another small agreement, now a bashful smile on her face.

✠

As always, the aftercare bath was heavenly. It left her whole body tingling and surprisingly, the tracker had been quiet the entire time. His massages on her sore muscles lingered just like her climax. Her mind was still racing with thoughts and a newfound determination to keep the corrupted side of the BSAA away from her man.

Her future husband.

Leon was knocked out cold, his fingers that were once tracing invisible designs along her back and hip had long stopped and resided on the small of her back. His other arm was underneath her pillow comfortably. 

Silently, So Ah tilted her head up to gaze at him fondly. His lips were parted for his soft breaths, the furrowing wasn't there and he looked so utterly peaceful. 

This was who she was fighting for.

All this life that she chose, willingly putting her life on the line each day to clear her family's name and to be there for him along the way. A heavy weight was set on her shoulder, pushing her to fall and succumb to her fatigue but a cheeky grin from him and a kiss were all she needed to feel strong again to take on anything.

As if its presence was implied, the tracker beeped faintly under her skin. This was danger – the danger she needed to fix and get rid of once and for all.

In utmost softness, the girl reached up her hand to hold his cheek, fingers brushing away his damp fringes. Leon shifted a bit in his sleep, arm tightening around her to tug her close as he sighed out, still in his Dreamland.

"I'll keep us safe…" She whispered a vow.

Those scientists were going to pay.

"I promise."

[lxngbottom]

#rj’s200celebration🦔

Imagine Neville getting with reader and she’s like the prettiest girl in school so everybody is surprised and jealous of him

HEADCANONS FOR THIS REQUEST!

warnings: fluff, swearing, but that’s all i think (:

sorry i know i haven’t been posting everyone’s requests ive just been super busy so pls bare with me!!

okay so let’s begin

this girl man

she’s something different

not only is she STUNNING

but she’s so sweet at the same time

the perfect woman doesn’t exis-

anyways

so everyone in one way or another has a crush on her

boys AND girls

and of course that includes neville

and obviously so do seamus, dean, ron, harry—

the list goes on lmaoo

but one day she walks into the great hall with her friends

and of course all eyes are on her

including the gryffindor boys

“bloody hell...” seamus sighs,

“you can’t be that fit and not have a lad can you?” dean asks

“do you guys think she has one? there’s no way she doesn’t.” ron also adds

“i think if she had one the whole bloody school would know...” harry jokes

but neville can’t even join in on the conversation

cause he just can’t stop staring at her

“why don’t one of you just ask her out already? the staring is really annoying, actually!” ginny huffs

but secretly

ginny may or may not have a secret crush on her too (;

“like it’s that easy?!” ron blurts out chewing on food

suddenly

oh no

“wait—“

“oh fuck...”

“why is she—“

“okay! stay calm you gits!”

yeah she’s walking over to them

neville starts panicking with them

and when she gets there they’re all staring at their food

and they’re trying to pretend like they weren’t just gawking at her

“um—neville!”

neville’s eyes go wide and he looks up at her

“h-h-hi...”

seamus sighs because he stuttered

“um... you dropped this yesterday during herbology! figured you’d um—want it back?”

she holds up a single pencil

and neville just looks at her with a really confused look on his face

ron is just as confused

but then harry looks over and sees her friends staring at her and neville and they’re giggling and whispering

“oh—um... thanks?”

he takes it from her with shaky hands

and oh my god they’re fingers touch

her face literally turns red

“um......”

she’s trying to think of something else to say but she just CAN’T.

she can’t stop staring at neville and how incredibly handsome he is

oh yeah did i mention that she fancies him???

she suddenly just runs away back to her table with her friends

and neville sees her friends laughing and she puts her head down

she seems....

embarrassed?????

“bloody hell! what was all that about, longbottom?!” seamus snaps, glancing over towards her

he just shrugs with the pencil still in his hand

harry finally puts the pieces together

“uh—hey... neville? did it ever occur to you that she maybe... fancies you?”

there’s silence for a moment.

and then

everyone starts laughing

“you’re kidding, right potter?!”

“no, finnigan...”

neville is just sorta dumbfounded

“she doesn’t fancy me! i mean—i’m—me!”

“neville... a girl would never come up to you just to give you back a bloody pencil you dropped.”

neville is just in denial

because how could a girl like her actually have a crush on him?

but as time passes

he starts to notice the things she does

like he’ll catch her staring a lot

and when someone is flirting with her and he’s nearby she’ll just stare at neville instead

she turns red literally every single time he says anything to her

he’ll see her friends pass by and giggle to each other

maybe she does fancy him????

so neville finally gets the guts to confront her

and he passes her a note telling her to meet him in the greenhouse

and OF COURSE she goes straight to her friends

they’re all so happy for her

so she goes obviously

and he asks her the question

and she’s just like

“is it that noticeable?”

he just laughs nervously and says, “a bit...”

and she just smiles at him all goofy

and he thinks she’s just the most prettiest thing he’s ever seen

so they become official

but neville wants to keep it secret for a while

because secretly he’s afraid that people will tease her ):

but of course ginny catches on

so she gets ron to go on a mission with her

and ron the whole time is just like, “there’s no way, ginny! i mean... i hate to be mean but, a girl like her wouldn’t even look at neville like that!”

but then

oh merlin

ron and ginny see them snogging by the greenhouse

“go neville!” ginny squeals

and ron hushes her

but oh no

they hear them

and neville is super upset

“you guys can’t say anything! like... ever!”

“why can’t they, nev? we’ve been together for a month now! it’s time for everyone to know!”

so neville reluctantly agrees to make it public

and she is so excited to show off her lovely boyfriend

seamus and dean are hurt by the fact that neville didn’t tell them

but at the same time they’re jealous as fuck

EVERYONE is jealous of neville

and of course people tease them

especially malfoy

but she tells neville to now worry about it because it doesn’t really matter what other people think

but no one can deny the fact that they’re adorable

and the first argument they have is in neville’s dorm while all of the guys are in there

“why are you getting so angry?! i’m not going to leave you for another guy, neville!”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU THAT’S WHY!”

dean in the back is just like: :,))))

but it doesn’t matter because she really loves him

and he really loves her

[justchou2000]

The perfect woman doesn’t exis---

[godsavetheavantgarde]

I want to talk about this painting, Kazimir Malevich's Suprematist Red Square, or "Painterly Representation of Peasant Woman in Two Dimensions", because I think it gets dismissed so easily as being "not art" or like the kind of art that's so absurd that it's been renounced to joke status among non art students (a title that feels so elitist that it makes me want to be sick a little). But let me tell you, Red Square is art, and it's actually very emblematic of the Avant Garde, combining both its symbolist backbone and expressionist future.

Obviously, the painting is true to it's title. It is, indeed, a red square. Though, unlike artists like Miró, who frequently used tools to create perfect lines and circles, Malevich's square was drawn completely organically, with an acute angle in the left, making it more of a trapezoid than a square. The simplicity of form and striking color, starkly contrasting from the picture plane, is highly characteristic of Malevich's experimental expressionism, which he himself called 'Suprematism'.

But where is the Peasant Woman? She doesn't seem to appear anywhere and that is, to a degree true. One of the major principles of expressionism was a anxiety surrounding "the ornament" — of making art that would just be hung up in a house somewhere —and often this remedied itself in a distinct lack of representative form. This is why we stopped seeing humans in the avante garde or, at least, not traditionally rendered humans with bodies or faces. It's more accurate to say that the Peasant Woman here is depicted in the use of the color red.

Red is very significant to Russian culture as a symbol of beauty and godliness, so much so that the word for "red" and the word for "beautiful" used to be exactly the same. Even today they're still incredibly similar, красный (krah-snui) vs. красивый (krah-see-vui). Religious objects were typically made with a generous amount of red. Likewise, in the typical Russian peasant house of his era, had a "Red Corner", where the most beautiful and valuable objects were stored and, in particular, iconography.

Naturally, being eastern Orthodox, iconography is a big part of traditional Russian religious practice, which images of the saints blessing and watching over the house. So the use in Malevich's square painting, in particular with his, what very well could have been deliberate, emphasis of a particular corner of the square, could be called a direct commentary on iconography.

Even better, when the work was first exhibited in 1915, Malevich instructed that the painting be placed in the corner of the gallery. Hanging his work in a self-created red corner in mimicry of the hanging of an icon.

So what does this say about iconography, or better yet, what does it say about about the significance we place upon them? What gives the icon it's power? the image of the saint, or the trust we place upon them? This is a deeply Symbolist ideology, the idea that every person has a unique codex of symbols and metaphors, this rendering everything arbitrary since we can't fully understand any of them with the pure ernest in which they were created.

Moreso, is the red corner valuable because we place our beautiful objects there, or is an object beautiful based on the context of being in the red corner? If an outsider walked into the house and saw a random picture of a random man in the red corner, would they be led to assume that they were a saint?

The answer is: I don't know.

Red Square was painted during Russia's tsarist period — an astonishment that never gets old really — and was uplifted as one of the pinnacle's of artistic decadence in the eyes of the Bolsheviks. Only the ridiculous bourgeoisie rich could possibly consider spending money on literally a red square, no matter how profound it was. By the 1920s, Malevich had re-adopted a more neo-cubist style, painting working men doing field labors, a subject that was deemed "productive" by the Soviet Union, and this generously allowed to exist (the Leninist USSR was very finicky about art).

But we can still look at it today and ask ourselves about the nature of cultural symbols and what gives them their emphasis.

[ninjamelissajulien]

The perfect woman doesn’t exis-

[writingpuddle]

The other night best friend and I (yes, that best friend) were riffing on trans Neil headcanons over the phone, but a realistic trans treatment of aftg gets dark real fast, so without further ado:

~The Mafia May Be Sexist (But It’s Not Transphobic!) AU ~

(tmmbsbintau, if you will)

Does this premise make sense? No, but if Nora can write about made up mafia sports, I can write a nonsense AU where transphobia doesn’t exist okay this is my party and ill be self-indulgent if i want to

We open with baby Neil, who was named after his maternal grandmother or smthg idk

Now lets say Neil is one of those “I always knew I was trans” kids

So even at a fairly young age he was like, nope this is wrong

For the most part his dad basically ignores him (what use is a girl to me???) but if he makes the mistake of getting in the way it’s the usual shit with knives and hot irons and basically Neil’s bog-standard Traumatic Childhood

His mom signs him up to play Exy to get him out of the house, and he loves it, because of course he does

Now tiny Neil may be terrified of his father

But remember transphobia isn’t real

So he when he’s about ten years old he tells his parents over dinner

His mom just puts her fork down and says that’s alright

But Nathan

Nathan

Nathan’s eyes start to glow

He has a son? Not a useless daughter?

He’s practically levitating with glee

And Neil, poor Neil, who has never had any positive reinforcement—from either parent, Mary, you’re not innocent in this—he soaks it up

Nathan puts both hands on his son’s—his son’s!—shoulders and dubs him Nathaniel

His son, his heir, his legacy

Mary takes one look at the possessive look in her husband’s eyes and thinks oh hell no

For the next few days Nathan absolutely showers Nathaniel with affection

He takes him to the hairdresser and buys him a whole new wardrobe, neglecting his mafia duties in order to dote upon his new son

It is possibly the happiest week of Nathaniel’s life

And then he wakes up in the night with his mother’s hand on his mouth and is given less than a minute to pack his things

Now he’s grown up in a criminal household; the notion of making a run for it isn’t exactly foreign to him

But it’s not until they’re in the car that Nathaniel realizes that his father is nowhere to be seen

Where’s dad? He asks

Shut up, his mother hisses, and slams the car into gear

From then on, he is never Nathaniel

His mother is 100% on board with his transition, but…not really anything beyond that

After all, people will be looking for a woman and a trans boy, which means Mary’s investment in Neil’s gender pretty much starts and ends with him passing as cis

She gets him all the medical treatments he needs (on the black market, since they’re on the run)—puberty blockers when he’s younger, testosterone when he’s older

But he’s never allowed to acknowledge being trans whatsoever

Not to his classmates, not to his teachers

He never gets the chance to have a queer community, or explore the nuances of his gender, because the only presentation they can afford for him to have is Masculine Cis Boy. The restriction is stifling. It’s suffocating.

Neil hates her for it

His life was, so briefly, perfect

He had his father’s love and approval for a day, a week, and he is both old enough to remember his father’s cruelty and young enough to believe that it could end

Nathan is incandescent

When he realizes what Mary has done he goes to the Moriyamas in a storm of fury

She stole my SON! He bellows

Now the Moriyama’s didn’t particularly care about Neil back when they thought he was a girl

Girls in the mafia are basically just for child-rearing, so he wasn’t a threat

So once they figure out what Nathan is talking about (this takes a sec, owing to Nathan having not previously gotten around to telling them about Nathaniel’s revelation), their first thought is that look, we might do the nepotism thing here in our family, but underlings don’t get to do the nepotism thing. Sorry, them’s the breaks

Obviously, Mary has to die—nobody’s disputing that, a woman who robbed her husband and stole his son? Only death will right that wrong—but Kengo tells Nathan that he’ll help find Nathaniel on the condition that he’s given to the Ravens upon capture

Nathan is utterly confident that his son—his son!—will perform admirably. He accepts the deal without a second thought

So they’re on the run for years and years, and Neil’s resentment towards his mother festers, but he never acts out too much, and he doesn’t contact his father

He almost does a couple times, but then he presses his hand to the iron scar on his shoulder and he can’t quite make himself go through with it

He’s sixteen when Nathan catches up with them in Seattle

There’s a shootout and Mary and Neil almost get away

But

Nathan arrives

Nathaniel! He shouts. My boy!

And Neil lurches to a stop

There is his father, walking towards him, his eyes still shining with the same fierce love and pride from when he was ten

Nathaniel, his father says. Hasn’t this gone on long enough?

Come home.

Mary is trying to drag Neil away, but he’s too fixated on his father

Can I? Neil asks. Can I really?

Of course, Nathan says. Everything is forgiven. I’ve even secured you a place on the Ravens. Didn’t you always love Exy? Come home with me, Nathaniel

Neil can barely believe it. His father is offering him everything he ever wanted. His mother has been keeping him from this, his whole life?

Why would they run?

And through this whole exchange Nathan has been getting closer, and Mary is pulling Neil back, and now he’s close enough to touch and the sound she makes is like something physical tears when she finally releases Neil and tries to flee

She isn’t fast enough

Nathan’s grin is as wide as the sun when his cleaver bites into Mary’s waist

Blood pours out

Neil screams

Mary clutches her side, staggering away, but it’s obvious she won’t make it far

Dad, no, Neil says. Don’t—

Shh, his father says. Don’t be afraid. She kept us apart all these years. She deserves to die.

And Neil—

Neil has hated his mother for most of his life

But he looks at the woman who has struggled so long to protect him—who has failed as often as she succeeded, but who fought anyway, everyday—and the man whose eyes are bright with glee at her pain

And he makes a choice

He only has a split second to see the betrayal in his father’s eyes before the pipe in his hand slams into his head and he pitches forward, unconscious

Neil does not wait to see if he survives

He grabs his mother and they run, her arm locked on his shoulder and her palm pressed to the wound on her side

Neil puts her in the passenger seat and jumps in, throwing the car in gear

You need a hospital, he says, frantic

No, she hisses, pinning a towel to her side. No hospitals

Guilt floods through him as he looks at her pale face

Sticky red handprints smear on everything she touches

I’m sorry, mom, he says, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—

Enough, she says. Drive

He drives

He drives, and drives, and he follows her instructions, and later he wouldn’t have been able to say if he actually thought she would survive; he believed it, because he had to, because he had never been without her; he knew better, because gut wounds are slow, but they are inexorable

He parks on the beach and there are tears pushing at his eyelids but he chokes them down

I’m sorry, he said, I never should have believed him. I’m sorry—

You never would have been enough for him, she says, and Neil flinches

Her hand finds his chin and she yanks him down to meet her eyes, her gaze fierce.

He never loved you, she says. He would have made you in his image, and when you failed he would have torn you apart. I would not—I would not watch him try to make my son a monster. Don’t—don’t waste it

Mom, what are you saying—

Promise me, she says

Promise you won’t go back to him

She is dying

Neil can’t refuse

He promises

She releases his face and her red fingerprints on his face burn like brands. He can feel them hours after the tears wash the blood away.

Her last few breaths are jagged as broken stones before she rattles to a stop, and Neil is alone

He burns her body and staggers out onto the road and he keeps moving, he keeps moving, because he knows if he stops he’ll shatter

His hesitation has cost him his mother’s life

But his action costs him his fathers love

In one blow, Neil broke the golden image Nathan had of his perfect son, and now all Nathan wants is to destroy him

He finds his way to Millport almost on instinct alone

He finds one of Mary’s contacts who can supply him with the hormones he needs to continue passing and squats in an empty house and speaks to none of his classmates

When the Exy team tryouts are announced, he goes, intending to only watch from a distance

Perhaps it is inevitable he’s sucked in

There is so little light in his life

Can he be forgiven for wanting one little spark?

The Foxes come for him in May, and Kevin doesn’t recognize him, because how would he? Even if they met as kids, Kevin never saw Neil post-transition

Wymack ends up telling him something about Kevin’s past and the truth about the Ravens, and Neil pales a little bit, remembering how his father had said he’d gotten Neil a place on their line-up and finally understanding why

And sometimes he looks at Kevin with blinding jealousy for the life Neil didn’t get to have, and sometimes he sees him nearly comatose with fear and drinking vodka like it’s water, and his stomach hurts thinking how cheerfully his father would have consigned him to the same fate

So canon proceeds and Neil still bitches Riko out on live TV, and Riko still manages to acquire Neil’s fingerprints

And would you believe that? The Foxes mouthy new rookie is [deadname], Nathan Wesninski’s brat?

Well, well, well

At the banquet Riko pokes and prods until Neil finally snaps, and as Dan drags the team away from the wreckage Jean grabs Neil’s arm and says, low and fast in French, You’ll meet with us later

Why the fuck would I do that? Neil demands

Because otherwise everyone will find out that the Butcher is your father

Neil can’t hide his flinch and Kevin’s eyes go wide

They flee the scene, but before they even reach Coach, Kevin is already rounding on Neil

Is it true? He croaks

Not now, Neil says

But Kevin reads confirmation in Neil’s deflection

I didn’t know [deadname] had a brother, he says

Now here is the thing

Names are obviously a touchy subject with a lot of trans people, and certainly with Neil in particular

But with everything that just happened, Neil is a bit preoccupied, and it’s been a long time since he’s associated himself with that name

Since before he stopped using it, truthfully

And so his response is out of his mouth before he can even think twice

“Who?”

Kevin nods seriously, because he is wise to the ways of mafia bosses, and it’s not exactly shocking that Nathan Wesninski had a mistress and a secret second child, especially considering his first child had been a girl

It’s several moments before Neil puts two and two together and realizes that he has inadvertently slipped through a perfect loophole

He’s failed his mother so many times, but at least this secret is still safe, and he clings to that

Neil’s gender doesn’t really affect his interpersonal relationships with the Foxes—he’s already changing out separately, so this isn’t even a whole other thing

It’s harder to hide his testosterone when he’s living in shared dorms, but he has everything in the safe and figures out the safest schedule to open it up when he’s sure Matt will be in class

Andrew finds out when they start hooking up

But remember transphobia isn’t real so it’s sort of more like Andrew goes to undo his pants and is like wait your dick is removeable? Okay.

And then he just gets on with it

So Binghamton and Baltimore happen as canon, and if Neil had ever harboured hopes that his father would forgive him and love him again, they’re broken for good when his father stalks in and sees him shivering and just grins

It is the smile of someone who has torn someone off a pedestal and is going to enjoy reducing them to dust

Nevermind that Nathan had been the one to put him on that pedestal in the first place

Stuart deus-ex-machinas us out of the maws of death and we end up back in that classic Baltimore scene with the Foxes, and they still claim him, and they still take him home

He tells them all about his mafia father and life on the run, and it doesn’t really click until later that he forgot to mention the trans thing

Not like he, you know, has to tell them, and being trans is hardly an issue in Exy since it’s co-ed, but it would probably be nice to see a real doctor instead of keep buying his hormones illegally

And moreover, he wants the Foxes to know him

So they hit the cabin in the mountains and everyone knows Neil doesn’t drink, but when Andrew pours him a shot, he takes it

Ooh, Nicky says, Is Neil about to start spilling his secrets?

Allison snorts. What secrets does he have left?

Uh, Neil says

Wait, Allison says. There’s more secrets????

Yeah, he says. Um, I’m trans

There’s a pause

Well, that’s no good, Allison said. We didn’t have a bet going on that

Everyone laughs, and Neil smiles, and he looks at the sunset and remembers his mother, and he remembers a life filled with hiding, and secrets, and loneliness

Bats swoop in the twilight beyond the cabin, and he turns towards the warmth and light inside, and he does not look back