#the people erika left behind

[the-sera]

My name is Sera, you may not know me but you know my past work behind the scenes here and there, such as the Mass Effect trilogy, Dragon Age, Silent Hills, and many others.

I am an agoraphobic indigenous Kanienʼkehá:ka (Mohawk) mixed lesbian who has fought for several years a worsening health condition that is currently killing me. The point of no return is not that far away. I have spent years exhausting any paths and means to get help, enduring extreme and near endless pain. I have sold all I have, spent every dime to my name. I have received various forms of help over the years in this battle, but I have reached the critical point I have feared all this time. And to make matters worst, the family responsible for inflicting a lifetime of abuse on me is stalking me very heavily online, which has not only exacerbated my agoraphobia, but has also made the efforts to build this harder than I could describe. Know that I share as many details as I can while seeking to avoid undermining my immediate safety, I hope you understand. This post is a highly abridged version of the content in the link, the unabridged and unedited version is available below the Read More cut ❤

If you have been following me for a while, you are familiar with my struggle and saw me talking about it throughout the years. There are no other options or help besides this, besides you. I need your help or I'm going to die, this is the last chance I have left. I'm afraid to my core, I still have a life in front of me, dreams to pursue. If you read this far, I know you may be inclined to share and move on, but I am asking you to pause and think if you have a dollar that could make all the difference. I know it can be troublesome to stop and actually do it, I am asking you to please consider doing it.

If you yourself have a health condition, I salute you for fighting your own battle. Regardless of whether you donate or not, if you read this far, know that you are loved.

A warm thank you to @transmechanicus , the kind soul who made this possible. I would be lost and doomed without your help. Erika did not believe thank yous were necessary, but they are. Attempting to save a human being's life is no small act. Whether it succeeds or fail, no thank yous will ever be enough. Even as the pain consumes my body, I am able to feel hope thanks to this. There are no words invented to express this level of thanks, but if I get to live, I will search for it.

(Please don't put tags on this unless it is to actually talk or comment something. As always, kind words are appreciated.)

My name is Sera, you may not know me but you know my past work behind the scenes here and there, such as the Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age, Silent Hills, and many others.

I am an agoraphobic indigenous Kanienʼkehá:ka (Mohawk) mixed lesbian who has fought for several years a worsening health condition that is currently killing me. The point of no return is not that far away. I have spent years exhausting any paths and means to get help, enduring extreme and near endless pain. I have sold all I have, spent every dime to my name. The system, I feel, is indifferent to my situation. I have received various forms of help over the years in this battle, but I have reached the critical point I have feared all this time. And to make matters worst, the family responsible for inflicting a lifetime of abuse on me is stalking me very heavily online, which has not only exacerbated my agoraphobia, but has also made the efforts to build this harder than I could describe. Know that I share as many details as I can while seeking to avoid undermining my immediate safety, I hope you understand.

If you are reading this, you are one of the few people who can help save my life. A single dollar is enough to make a tremendous difference. There is no other options or source of help besides this, besides you. I need your help or I'm going to die, this is the last chance I have left.

The goal is a series of treatments and challenging surgeries that will remove small metal shards near vital organs and bones in my body. It is categorized as severe internal injuries secondary to a traumatic event. As medical professionals have put it, "the lack of immediate surgical intervention necessitates a comprehensive, multidisciplinary treatment approach aimed at mitigating the risk of disease progression and optimizing long-term outcomes."

My injuries are from a car accident which injured me immensely and took the lives of my two closest friends in the world. This page does not ask for the full amount of the procedures and treatments, since it is a very large sum of money that cannot be reached that quickly. The page only asks for enough to get me started in the process and access proper vital treatments in countries of the european union. Adding time to the clock, giving me a chance to fight this battle and launching an important part of the process towards saving my life.

I know you may be inclined to share and move on, but I am asking you to pause and think if you have a dollar that could make all the difference. You may be but a few clicks away from truly helping someone who desperately needs it. I know it can be troublesome to stop and actually do it, I am asking you to please consider doing it.

If this fails to reach its goal, I will die. I'm afraid and I need your help. I still have a life in front of me, dreams to pursue. If you read this far, you are the only chance I have left. Don't underestimate the difference a dollar can make, your dollar could be the one dollar we come short of. The expenses covered by this amount ranges from the medical consultations, medical treatments, surgeries and, of course, accessing said treatment, reaching the places where I need to go. I will have a true chance at fighting for the remaining amount myself.

As for cheaper alternatives, it is mainly temporary fixes that would not fix the issue and waitlists that I would die waiting on years before my turn comes. This is it, this is the only way I have that provides the care I need, in the timeframe I need it, with a success rate that gives me a chance to live.

Thank you for reading this and for persevering in the brutal system we all live under. If you yourself have a health condition, I salute you for fighting your own battle. May we all make it and may we all have the softest of epilogues. Regardless of whether you donate or not, if you read this far, know that you are loved.

I would like to thank Erika, a dear friend who has made this possible at all. Without her, I would be lost. I would also like to thank immensely Milica, who has been on this journey with me for so many years, almost since the beginning. Her medical knowledge and her kind heart, her support and dedication, have allowed me to survive long enough to get to this point. I would not be here still without her. I would like to thank the amazing and loving Dana, who has been here during the good days as much as the bad days. She has been a beacon preventing me from giving up hope. I would have abandonned before getting to this point had she not been there for me. And thank you to Oli, who has been my champion, it is thanks to his help that I can move around where I need to go. A great support and a great friend. I would like to also thank Bruna, a kind heart who has never failed to cheer me on, even when her life was not perfect, she never stopped cheering and supporting me.

I would also like to thank my tumblr mutuals, you know who you are, those who have been in my DMs offering me your kindness, laughter and support in these dark times. Your help has also saved me more than once. You are true blessings. Thank you for never giving up hope during the days I felt like doing so.

You have all carried the torch during the days I couldn't, and for that, I can never thank you enough. I have lived and survived because of you, your help in every form has made a difference in the world. I am ready to fight for my life, and whether I reach my goal and live, or fail and die, know that none of it was wasted. You have all made me a better person and that is the mark of true love transpiring from one person to the next. Thank you for believing in me when I could not. I love you all.

[hatchetmanofficial]

Hi I just played this game recently but I'm curious about the lore and idk where to find it i see a lot of people mentioning boss stu (I keep reading stfu) and idk who those are do i have to read all the asked questions to get the lore going on or I can find it somewhere else? (Anyway here's a squished alan holding a red flag)

MDHM LORE (no spoilers for the actual game):

This is only going to cover the backstories/extra details and the world of MDHM but does not touch what is going to happen in the game. Some TW for the lore, will contain stuff like substance abuse, suicide, toxic relationships, gore and child abuse.

Alan is the main love interest of the game. He is an assassin who lives in the woods in the town that set in the game, far from society but occasionally visits when he has "important" stuff to do. He is the second youngest of four brothers. Claude, Jules, and James. Alan has a pretty strained relationship with them especially after their mother passed away from suicide. Alan ran away during high school and has no connections to the current culture in the modern world.

Erika is a new college friend/classmate you encounter in your English class. She is the only adopted child of two dads with whom she is currently keeping secrets to not disappoint them. She works as an employee in the local skater rink and volunteers at the rescue cat shelter. Erika is very fashion-forward and is pretty smart when it comes to problem-solving and has a hobby of solving mysteries. She has a six-legged cat named Loki and lives with her roommate Rosie.

Stu is a child friend who harbors feelings for the player. He hasn't been in contact with them since they left for college as he stayed in their old town behind. He has an older sister named Toni who also left for university, his mom, and his dad who had a pretty unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship until he moved out. Stu lives in a frat house on school grounds and is a part of a band called the Critters of Wreckage (CoW). Stu struggles with pornography addiction as well as drinking as he became very isolated after not talking with the player.

Carver is Alan's coworker. I have not revealed much about him, other than he has the most trauma, especially during childhood, out of everyone. He has an estranged past he can't quite remember after being hired as an assassin. He is missing pupils but is still able to see. He has a fascination for experimenting and dissecting his victims, even though he really isn't allowed to. I would love to point out that Carver doesn't call the player "Guinea Pig". That name is for his OWN person of interest who he has yet to find. He still calls the player "Doe-Eyes" simply because Alan calls them that. His real name is Calvin and he is 31 years old.

Stitches is another coworker of Alan and Carver. Not much is known about him. He isn't human although he appears to be. Stitches, is in fact, made up of three different body parts from three different people. His head, the torso, and his legs. Stitches was created by Boss.

Boss is, obviously, the boss of Alan. No, he doesn't have a name as he simply just goes by "Boss". He is older than the town, older than time actually. He doesn't have much of a physical form but used roadsigns as a body for him to use. He communicates through images or texts from the signs.

Buck is Alan's dad. He doesn't know that Ophelia has passed away since their separation and is still in love with her. He hasn't seen Alan either but still wants to connect with his son.

[mortalityplays]

Run Ragged - a short, wolfish comic

Back the comic on Kickstarter until October 11th!

A gothic 24-page comic with four bonus pages of diary comics on COVID and cartooning. Have you ever tried to balance your tough day-to-day life training as a ballet dancer with your secret night life, tearing through the ragged woods as a werewolf? No?  This short fantasy comic, obsessively illustrated, is the perfect preparation for that eventuality. 

“Marnie tells a story of the lacerations left by the choke chain of an ableist society, a story they carve from sinew and suspend in negative space. A urgent, vital and brilliant work by an urgent, vital and brilliant artist.” - Erika Price

Run Ragged is the best comic my younger sibling has ever made. And they've made a lot of comics, they've won prizes. They've been making comics since we were teenagers drawing together at the kitchen table in the stolen small hours of the morning while everyone else in the house was asleep.

Run Ragged made me cry when I read it, on my sibling's ipad, at a café table, with them sitting right opposite me. Embarrassing! But it's beautiful, in word and in thought, and in image.

Run Ragged is about dance, and about changing relationships with the only body you have when that body gets sick. When that body no longer wants to obey. It's about disability, about frustration and beauty, and about tearing off into the woods.

This comic really was a labour of love. I watched Axe develop it and agonise over it for more than a year, picking it up and putting it down and ripping it apart and sewing it back together. They drew most of it in bed, physically unable to get up. Every stitch in its hide is meticulous and I want you to read it, so much.

But let's look at some pages:

I told you, it's beautiful! Axe has a knack for poetics that I've never grasped. The comic comes with additional diary comics, too - the personal behind what is already a deeply personal work.

Like me, Axe is a full-time artist. Like me, that means they are terrible with money. Their goals for this kickstarter are so low - their first stretch goal is only £600, and I had to argue them into it. They have all kinds of little additional bonuses planned for future goals, and I desperately want to see them come to fruition. But more than that, I really, really, really want people to read this comic.

You can back Run Ragged on Kickstarter until October 11th, and snag yourself everything from an original sticker or linoprint to a full archive of Axe's digital comics or a personal portrait of your pet escaped into the wild woods.

>>> Please don't miss it! <<<

[whiteskullofroses]

Noch einer!

(Dieter Hellstrom x reader)- slight nsfw

A/N: Man idk, it's 1 am and Dieter is baby girl. I don't support nacizm/any of this man's ideologies. Enjoy!

🍻 Imagine being a Yugoslav Partisan camouflaged as an SS officer, when attending a nazi meeting in the basement you meet Dieter. After a few too many shots you slip up, but luckily he is too busy thinking about you rather than the things you say.🍻

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The room was getting louder and louder with every second running by, yet you didn't budge. At least on the outside, on the inside though, you were on fire. The gun on your belt looked lovelier with every nazi that walked in and sat down at the table you were sitting at.

You couldn't believe that you approved of this "genius" plan The Basterds came up with. No matter how stupid it seemed, there was a possibility it could work and you wanted nothing more than to have these Schwabs out of Europe and sent straight to hell where they belonged.

The SS uniform felt too tight and uncomfortable, you tapped your black boots against the cold cement and silently cursed every officer that came in the basement, however, you decided to busy your mind with something else and stretch your legs. You got up, lit a cigarette in between your middle and pointer finger, and noticed the gramophone hiding behind a wall. Just as you noticed it, it stopped playing. Walking up to the gramophone to restart it, your eyes noticed a figure in the corner.

The yellow light from the candle lit up the left side of his face.

The SS officer was reading a book and drinking beer. The more you stared at him, your mind forgetting about the music, the more attractive he looked. "No, Y/N this isn't right," you said to yourself: "I shouldn't pray on men today, especially nazis."

Without realizing he was staring right back at you until he finally spoke: "Fräulein? Was ist los?" You broke eye contact and didn't reply.

He took a deep breath and closed the book, his hand patting the sit next to him, gesturing for you to sit down.

Your heartbeat quickened, the tension was unbearable and not in a good way.

"Y/N, do not show any compassion to him, his people are killing yours on the lines out there, he doesn't deserve it." Were the only thoughts running through your head the whole time you were slowly walking up to his side.

But for now, you had to be an actress to stay alive. His cologne smelled nice. That was the first remark you truly noticed about him, besides his amazing looks. "Wie heißt du, Liebling?"

"Liebling? Hah," you thought: "what an attempt to get me flustered."

"Erika Shauenberg."

It wasn't your real name, of course.

"Zigarette?" the man asked you, smiling. His smile wasn't bad either, in fact, he was the most perfect man you've ever seen.

"Why does he have to be a piece of shit?"

Your cigarette from before burned up by itself without you even putting it in your mouth. He really got you distracted so much that you forgot to smoke.

Nodding and taking one out of the box you thanked him: "Danke."

With one slick move, he pulled out a lighter and lit it. German cigs tasted different than the Yugoslav ones, but for the time being, they were good enough.

"Oh!" He remembered: "Es tut mir leid, dass ich vergessen habe," putting one in his mouth as well: "mich vorzustellen."

Blowing smoke into thin air: "Major Dieter Hellstrom."

Dieter? What an extraordinary name.

"Erik!" Dieter called out to the waiter as he approached our table. "Scotch, zwei Gläser!"

Grinning, he leaned closer to you and half whispered: "Erik hat eine Flasche Jahre alten Whisky aus dem schottischen Hochland-"

"Would you mind if we continued in English?" You interrupted him: "I was raised in France as a German kid." Tapping your cigarette on a black ashtray: "I never learned proper German because my father, well..."

Think Y/N! Think!

"He was killed in combat and my mother died from the flu when I was only 5 years old." Putting on a sad face you sighed: "I was given to a foster family in France."

"Where?" Dieter wondered.

"Menton."

"Ah, Erik!"

The waiter brought the two of you your drinks and left the scotch bottle on the table. Amazing, this was going to be a long night.

However, in reality, you couldn't complain about being in his company. Yes, he was a nazi, and yes you hated nazis, but damn was he charming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 hour later....

You've never had this much fun in your life. How many shots you drank, how many cigarettes you smoked? You didn't care, and neither did Dieter. He was just as shitfaced as you.

You both laughed at each other's stories from the past.

"Noch einer, Liebling?"

"Ja, bitte!"

As he took your glass to fill it up, you watched the golden liquid splash on the table as the bottle slipped from his hand. You quickly picked it up, slightly touching his hand while leaning over the table to reach it, and laughed out loud.

"You know this reminds me when I lived in Yugo-"

Shit. No no no no no!

"Yugo? What Yugo?" he looked at you, his eyes glassy, gazing upon your face.

You swallowed hard: "Yugo? Yugo! Ah, yes!"

Think Y/n, think!

"Yugo's apartment .."

Good job Y/n

"We dated in highschool."

It was quite impressive how your foggy brain could still have such a wild imagination.

For a second he looked at you and said:

"You're aren't German, are you?"

Silence

You simply started at him and ran over the words he just spoke.

He said it's so effortlessly, his drunk tongue didn't slur one word in that sentence, as if that didn't mean that you were about to die. There was no solution in getting out of this. You do not have any evidence that you in fact were German, nor that you lived in France! Hell you don't even know France that well at all! You were pretty sure these were your last moments alive before his pretty German pistol would shoot you in the head and leave you for the rats feast on.

Suddenly the clock on the stone wall behind you started ticking slower, your heartbeat sped up and your palms got sweaty.

Meanwhile, he took a deep breath and slowly let it out. His left hand was in his pocket the whole time, swiftly he pulled his hand out of his pocket and grabbed your face, to your surprise he didn't press a gun to your lips, he pressed his lips against yours. He kissed you.

To be continued...

[helgafolk618]

Wanna make a fanfic about her. Haven't thought much yet, but it takes place between Hilda and the Mountain King and the timeskip/Season 3. She also stays as a Safety Patrol volunteer in order to help rebuild the damage caused by Amma's stirring.

:) More information about my fanfic:

Gerda Gustav was once again placed in temporary command over all of Safety Patrol; she has been for days now, and no one knows what happened to Erik Ahlberg.

Several trolls have been helping to clear the debris left by Trundle’s attack on the wall; others have been friendly with the people near the wall. Because of these acts of kindness, the city has decided to suspend the anti-troll measures for now, which means that trolls can come and go as they please. This has sparked some protests and riots among anti-troll citizens, already burdening the Safety Patrol with rebuilding.

But there's something more pressing than that. Amma has been shaking the ground briefly at random intervals. Aftershock after aftershock—no one can predict when the next one will strike as efforts to rebuild get setback every time. Someone or something must be behind these tremors.

Hint: kinda?

After uncovering suspicious evidence (and a talk with her son David), Erika is the first one to suspect that Erik Ahlberg is involved.

Is she right? Did Erik forget his lesson learnt? Did the descendant of Edmund Ahlberg try to anger Amma again and again—maybe to create a crisis where he can play the hero?

But it doesn’t matter, because Erika is determined to expose his wrongdoings. However, in her adventures, she discovers that there is more to this story than she expected…

"Erikafolk: A Hilda Spin-off Fanfic"

(Have another fanart as a "Thank you!" for reading this far!)

[imbellatrix]

Hi! Me again, sorry dknw It could be with an omniscient narrator, or from Erika’s POV. It would also be great if they met again during a battle—very dramatic. Then things gradually start to soften between them, but first venting and returning to trust the other little by little. I leave it to your will actually

I'm proud of you, Erika. — Eldarya One-Shot

Oh, hey there! It's me again. I'm back. Here's your one-shot, sorry for the delay. I hope you like it. I chose an omniscient narration so I could dive more into what’s going on in Nevra’s head.

I also left an open ending because I didn’t think it made sense for them to resolve everything so quickly, so… I decided to keep it more open. Hope you like it. Enjoy the read!

The sky was tinged with a heavy gray, and the cold wind blew through the trees, like a constant whisper of solitude that Erika had learned to endure. The forest around her seemed to mirror her own journey: dense, filled with shadows and hidden dangers. Each step she took there was another reminder of her independence, of her newfound strength—a strength she never imagined she would have to find alone. But she did, because when she needed support the most, she received the least. It was sad. Painful.

Since the moment she had awoken from the crystal, Erika had felt the weight of a reality very different from the one she remembered. Before, the Guard was her home, the place where she found purpose and people she considered friends. But upon her return, she realized that welcome had turned into suspicion. She was a stranger among familiar faces. The way they looked at her—with a mixture of fear, judgment, and even disdain—corroded her soul. Where she once saw friendship, she now found closed doors. Whispers behind her back, evasive glances, all signs that her place there had changed, and she didn’t know why.

First, it could be said that she had become a legend. Or rather, a trophy. A mere trophy the Guard displayed when they needed to boast of past victories. Just an object. Erika felt that everyone in the refuge didn’t see her as she truly was. No. They saw her as that statue made in her honor.

Honor... What a ridiculous word. Erika didn’t want a statue, nor applause, nor bouquets of flowers or lit candles to "honor" her. No. The only thing Erika had asked for was support. A friend’s shoulder to cry on when all this grief weighed down on her shoulders, making her scream with inner pain. Someone to confide in about everything she felt. But that’s not what she received.

All she got was Karenn asking her to be quiet and Huang Hua saying she had more important things to do. Was it so hard to act like a friend?

And Nevra… He was, perhaps, the greatest mystery. In the beginning, her return had brought a silent comfort, an unspoken understanding that everything would be okay. But soon he started to pull away, as if there was an invisible barrier between them. He seemed at times worried, at times irritated, alternating between gestures of affection and a contempt that hurt her deeply. His words were sharp, and each encounter between them left invisible wounds on Erika, who tried, day after day, to understand what had happened. Nevra, who had once been her safe harbor, was now a source of relentless anguish. And yet, she couldn’t stop loving him.

They shared a story of love, of overcoming, of battles and victories. And yet, Nevra looked at her as if she were some random girl he had never heard of. A stranger. Even Koori seemed closer to Nevra than Erika, and Koori and Nevra weren’t even friends.

After a while, Erika grew tired of fighting for an acceptance that never seemed to come. It was then that she decided to leave, searching for a place where she could rediscover her essence, far from the judging eyes. And she found that refuge with a group of witches, powerful and fearless women who didn’t carry the Guard’s prejudices and who welcomed her like a daughter. With them, Erika learned to master her magic, to listen to the call of her essence, and to fight for herself, without depending on anyone’s approval. The witches, though looked down upon, were welcoming and taught her what the Guard had never taught her: the true value of who she was.

They made Erika open her eyes. That’s when Erika saw all the manipulation Huang Hua had imposed on her. All the neglect she suffered. All the times they turned their backs on her. For what? In the end, she had become just a pawn in the war for everyone—a pawn to be sacrificed so the queen on the board might survive.

Was that what Valkyon died for? And Leiftan? Ykhar? Kero? All those people who gave everything for the Guard, only for it to lose itself and abandon its true values of family and support, hiding cowardly behind a false moral high ground.

That time away from the HQ showed her there was a vast world beyond the Guard's limits. But as time passed, she still carried the weight of what she had left behind in her heart. There was a bitter longing mixed with a sadness that wouldn’t leave her, especially on lonely nights. It was hard to completely break free from the past, from the memory of Nevra and everything he had represented. In her mind, memories wavered between love and pain, between the desire to see him again and the need to forget.

But fate had its own plans, which sometimes were funny, other times harsh and surprising. And that night, under the pale light of the moon, Erika found herself back in the middle of a battle. The shadowy creatures appeared without warning, and she soon found herself fighting alongside members of the Guard, though she kept a certain distance, still hesitant to get too close.

Then she saw him. Nevra was there, facing a group of enemies with the agility and skill she knew so well. But there was something different about him, a shadow of exhaustion and pain he tried to hide under his confident demeanor. When their eyes met, time seemed to stop, and Erika felt her heart tighten. He, too, was staring at her, unsure of what to say, as if every word were trapped in his throat.

Side by side, they fought in silence, their movements synchronized as before, but the weight of the distance between them made each action a painful reminder of what they had lost. After the last creature fell, both stood there, panting, surrounded by the heavy silence of the forest. The tension was almost palpable, and Erika knew words needed to be spoken.

“You… left,” Nevra said, his voice low, as if admitting a bitter truth. She hadn’t expected him to speak first, even though she had no intention of making the first move. Now you decide to talk to me? Don’t you think it’s too late? “I looked for you, you know? But you never came back.”

Erika crossed her arms, her gaze hard. His words surprised her. And though a small voice in her head felt happy that he had looked for her, the resentment spoke louder, and her blood boiled. “Come back? For what, Nevra? To be treated like an outsider? To be ignored and humiliated as if I were a problem?”

He hadn’t expected such a harsh response. His eyes widened. Where was the sweet Erika he once knew? Guilt washed over him, and he looked away. Guilt was etched on his face. He knew this was his fault. And even if Erika considered something bigger, even if she blamed the Guard and the system, Nevra had placed the burden of guilt squarely on his own shoulders. He couldn’t blame Huang Hua, his sister, or his brother-in-law. No. He was the one who should have supported Erika. Perhaps if he had, she wouldn’t have left him. He replied:

"I know… I know I was wrong. I acted like an idiot. I didn’t know how to handle your return, and it made me cruel. Only now do I see how wrong that was."

“It wasn’t just a mistake, Nevra,” she replied, her voice filled with pain. If she weren’t so much stronger now, emotionally and physically, she would certainly have started crying. Instead, she remained tearless but with the voice of a woman broken inside. “You hurt me. And not just you; everyone hurt me. It was as if I were fighting for acceptance that would never come, as if no one wanted me back.”

Nevra closed his eyes, absorbing her words like a wound reopening. “I was afraid, Erika. Afraid of losing you again. When you disappeared, I… a part of me was lost too. And when you came back, I thought it would be easy, but I realized I no longer knew how to approach you. So, I pushed you away. I was cowardly, cruel… I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself.”

He had been sincere. Erika was a part of him that he had never been able to let go, and now he could see that more clearly. Erika and he, before, were two distinct souls. Then, they had united into one being. And suddenly, in the blink of an eye, Nevra was only half of someone he used to be whole with. All because Erika died, and the man he had been in the past went with her. Until she returned, and he found himself lost. It was strange to feel his heart beating again after so long with a void in his chest.

She watched him, seeing, for the first time, the depth of regret in his eyes. He was there, stripped of all arrogance, devoid of any pretense. Nevra, the man who had always prided himself on his control, now seemed as vulnerable as she had felt so many times. He didn’t even seem like the proud and arrogant leader of the Shadow Guard. He had always defended that a leader couldn’t show weakness, but now he was opening his heart to Erika as he had never done with anyone.

"You have no idea what it was like for me," Erika said, her voice trembling. "Every night, I wondered if you would come to me, if you would explain yourself, if you would try to understand me. But instead, you treated me like a stranger. And I was left alone."

She didn’t understand why she was explaining herself. He didn’t deserve her explanations. No member of the guard did. He took a step forward, his hand outstretched, hesitant, as if he feared she might disappear. "Erika, forgive me. I know I don’t deserve it, but… you need to know that I regret every word, every action. Not a day goes by that I don’t regret what I did."

She felt tears threatening to fall, but she held them back. It was hard to let her guard down after everything. But there, seeing his face marked by regret, by the weight of the choices he had made, Erika felt something break inside her. After so long being tough among the witches, Erika felt like a little girl again. A vulnerable little girl who wanted nothing more than a hug from him.

"Maybe I can forgive you, Nevra," she finally said, her voice almost a whisper. "But you need to understand that this won’t erase what happened. The scars are still here, and I don’t know if they’ll ever go away."

Nevra nodded, his eyes fixed on hers. Ah, he knew well about scars that don’t disappear. And he wasn’t even referring to the scar on his eye. "I don’t expect you to forget, Erika. But, if you’ll allow me, I want to be by your side, so we can rebuild what was lost, step by step, day by day. I… I don’t know if I’ll ever regain your trust, but I’m willing to try."

They stood there, frozen, enveloped by the darkness of the forest and the unspoken words. The future was uncertain, and both knew the road ahead wouldn’t be easy. But, that night, something had changed. They had found each other again, not as they were before, but with the promise of a different beginning, perhaps even a truer one.

Erika looked at him one last time before turning and walking in the opposite direction, toward the witches waiting for her on the other side of the forest, where they couldn’t even be seen from that spot. Nevra stayed where he was, watching her leave, with the determination of someone who knew that one day, he would find a way back to her heart.

"You have a chance. We’ll meet again, Nevra. Don’t mess it up."

That was the last thing she said before walking away again. Nevra didn’t even try to follow her. No. She was free. She deserved that freedom. And in his heart, he knew he would see her again. He gave a faint smile.

"I’m proud of you, Erika."

She was already too far to hear.

[abilouwrites]

MISERY AND HER THREE FRIENDS

Ooc Shoto?? I haven’t written in foreva

My friends and I have become no stranger to death, to the limbo between death and life. The strange uncomfortable standing at a funeral. I’ve become comfortable in that strange position. I’ve grown to loathe love, the human need to from an attachment to someone. Something.

I’m standing at my best friends funeral, “Erika was, my best friend. An amazing hero. I’ve known her my entire life.. we lived together, and” I sigh, fighting back tears as I shakily exhale, “y’know I’m gonna miss her so much..” I hastily exit, trying to cover my face and avoid looking at the closed casket as photos are snapped left and right. Pictures of what would’ve been an amazing hero, taken out so young. Photographs of hero’s attending the ceremony.

“Your speech” someone approaches me as the mass of people dispersed, “you and Ignite were close” he doesn’t refer to Erika by her name. I’m not surprised, most people didn’t know her as Erika. Only her hero name, by the sharp precise flames that shoot from her palms. Gifting her the name. Ignite.

Misery has taken my last friend, and I will await for when she takes me, “yes” I respond, I find Shoto behind me. He places a hand on my shoulder. A reach to comfort me, “I uh grew up with her, we had a little group. The four of us, throughout everything. I even went to UA with her..”

I see his eyebrow quirk and quickly add on, “the business corse” I smile a little, memories of chasing the halls and watching her battle.

“Oh. You said you had three other friends.. are they here or”

I shake my head, “Amelia passed two years ago, and Suki three” he frowns, “it’s sad but. I think I’ve come to terms with it”

“I’m sorry anyways, if it’s uh” he looks a little nervous and pushes his hair out of his face. Pulled up for a formal event, “not inappropriate. And you don’t have a partner I’d like to take you for coffee”

I find myself agreeing to coffee. To walking down the street in my black dress and his black shirt, “thank you again” I push my hair out of my face and over my shoulder.

And somehow, like magic I find myself. A year later hopelessly in love with him. His head on my lap, my hands combing through his freshly cut hair, “I think I’m in love with you” he murmurs against the plush of my legs. A soft kiss against the scar on my knee. It hurts my heart, brings a fear to my core. Shakes me. Because I’m supposed to die. All of my friends have, and what stops death from coming for me next? Reuniting me with misery once again.

“I love you too” I murmur, massaging his scalp. Touching him slowly and gently. In a way that will comfort us both, soothe him, “was work good?”

He simply nods, and I’m scared. Terrified I won’t have this ever again. It’s an awareness that looms over me, haunts over my shoulder.

“Yes, the clients are paying which is always good”

“Should we get married?” He asks. I freeze, because I want too. I want to marry him, I want everything with him. But I’m so scared I’ll leave him just as my friends have left their partners.

Selfishly I want too. I want to marry him, even if I’m going to die before thirty. I can’t describe this feeling, a dread that I can’t stop.

“Ok” Those words feel like a death sentence, Suki passed just after her engagement became public to us, and her parents. We die as soon as we find love and affection in someone else. But now, there’s no one left. I’m no longer able to follow my solitude in Erika.

I thought I was ready, I expected it. I never knew when it would happen, I just hoped I wouldn’t have any strings attached and now.. now I have the strongest of strings attached to me. I’ve found someone to love me. And I love him back, I don’t want him to be where I was a year ago.

“What happens if I die?” I ask, looking over at the flowers he’d brought me yesterday.

“I promise to find you in every lifetime”

[fillingthescrapbook]

Let's Talk About: Burrow's End and A Second Sun

This episode is unhinged in all the best ways. Like, sure, the storytelling was a little paced down after the events of "Bearing the Scars," but I am an advocate for lulls after batshit shenanigans happen. Especially because it does feel like more shenanigans are in Aabria's plans moving forward.

Sidebar! I don't trust you, Aabria, not to have broken our hearts before this season ends. Not after that vision you gave Viola of having so many stoat babies in a place with gray walls. Oh no. I have my eyes and ears on you.

That said, even with "A Second Sun" being way more chill, the cast is still chaotically hilarious. And I truly, truly, truly love how Jasper William Cartwright is rolling this season. He has Murph's Luck: a DM who is rolling poorly while his wife (fictional, in Jasper's case) is getting all the high rolls.

Also, he out-Brit-ted Siobhan this episode. There's just something about how he was playing in this episode that made his Britishisms stand out more. I love it.

And rolling a 14 and getting Erika to unclench her whole body? I was laughing so hard.

Pretty quiet episode though plot-wise. We do get some teases. And them ending the episode where they end up in only cements my fear that Aabria has plans that will crush our souls soon, and over and over again before the series ends. But other than that? A solid outing.

This week's stray thoughts:

Did the Blue start out as an experiment?

Funerals being for the people who are left behind is soooo right.

And the thing that made me laugh out the loudest:

"Oh she's a ho."

See you next week, excellent ermines!

[weeeeeekly]

“are you okay?” – mark lee x gn!reader

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blurb On Earth-127, Mark is an ordinary biomed major at Neo Culture Institute of Technology, but when he’s not studying for class, he’s out saving New York City as Spider-Man. The job is hard, but he manages it. It also doesn’t hurt that his new friend is just his type.

But instead of a sweet confession to Mark you decide to tease his masked persona.

info no afab/fem mention, mainly gender neutral, no reader body shape mention, no use of Erika, swearing, non-idol au, college au, college student!mark, spiderman!mark (obvi), reader is assigned lactose intolerant. johnny & jaehyun as mark’s besties. mark & reader are 22 and johnny & jaehyun are 24. everyone else is 21. ft. 00 line of nct/riize as frat bros. loosely based off a combo of the mcu spider-man movies, ncit house, 200 music video, & superman ii

WARNINGS!!! NSFW but MDNI 18+ blog, VERY explicit in this bonus chapter compared to the main story, gender neutral language, use of “hole”, swearing, mentions of violence, dirty talk, praise kink maybe, reader & mark are experienced, reader receives oral, cowgirl/riding position, soft dom!reader, sub!mark, not proofread just pure free flowing thought

wc 2.3k

author’s note !! you can read this without reading the main story, but it might flow better if you read the entire thing

blah blah blah proper name, place name, backstory stuff

this is FICTION!!!!! everything is made up by me or inspired by the mcu spider-man movies, ncit house video, & mark’s 200 music video. the stuff written out is not meant to be a representation of the people, places, or ideas mentioned. also, prob not accurate to real life counterparts – idk sex.

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You’re sitting on Haechan’s bed next to Mark as Haechan is duct taped to his gaming chair.

Haechan smirks, “I’ve had this dream before. Less clothes though.”

Rolling your eyes, you get up to grab the duct tape.

“Oh? So, this is what you’re into.”

“I’m going to tape your mouth shut.”

Haechan lets out an exaggerated moan as you rip a piece off to shut him up.

“This isn’t Challengers.”

Mark sits uncomfortably on the edge of the bed as you sit back down. Haechan continues staring at you both as you wait for Jeno and Jaemin to come back upstairs to babysit.

Turning to Mark, “I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you something, but it’s going to have to wait because somebody decided it was a good idea to get on the fucking roof while drunk.”

Haechan rolls his eyes at your jab at him. Mark nods at you as you stare into his beautiful brown eyes.

The door opens as 2J, Jeno and Jaemin, walk in with armfuls of snacks.

“Party’s here.”

“Okay, we’re going to head out now. See you guys tomorrow.”

The two of you find Johnny and Jaehyun beating Renjun and Shotaro at beer pong. A crowd of party goers cheering J² on. Holding Mark’s hand, you nudge Johnny to see if he was ready to leave.

“Yeah, I can take you home right after this game.” Johnny tells you as he sinks another ball into a cup making Shotaro drink again.

“Or we could walk to our apartment.” Mark suggests. “It’s a 5-minute walk.”

You two ending up walking to Mark’s shared apartment with J². He fills you in about a project he was having trouble with in one of his classes.

When you make it to apartment 721, Mark gives you a tour of the place. The kitchen and living room when you first walk in, Mark’s room to the left next to the bathroom and Johnny and Jaehyun’s rooms to the right. Mark’s room was cozy, decorated with pictures of friends and family, an acoustic guitar leaning against a dresser, a small tv, piano, a Canadian flag on the wall next to his closet, and his bed facing the giant window.

“So,” Mark starts as he closes his door behind you, “You wanted to tell me something.”

You take a deep breath as you begin, “I’ve got a lot to say so please hear me out for its entirety. Mark, I have a crush on you. I thought you were cute the first time I saw you after that basketball almost took me out. I was so excited when we ended up sharing a class together and you sat next to me the next class after we met. Then when you comforted me after Spider-Man saved me. That was the moment I knew that I liked you. I like you, Mark. Maybe even more than that.”

Mark looks to you with an endearing look in his eyes. He opens his mouth to respond to your heartfelt confession to him. You watch as his mouth suddenly shuts and his eyes narrow as his attention veers off.

“Mark?”

You take a step in his direction when the sound of sirens approaching distracts you. Both of you look out the window to see 2 firetrucks zoom past the building and in the direction of a nearby bank that was on fire. Mark turns on his tv to the local news channel showing live footage of a person dressed exactly like Spider-Man, but in black and white.

“That’s not Spider-Man…”

You turn to look at Mark but he’s not there. The window is wide open, and you’re left alone in his room. A minute later, Spider-Man shows up on the tv throwing a trash can at the villain.

You were 100% sure that Mark was Spider-Man now.

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The sound of Mark’s window opening wakes you up from the nap you ended up taking while waiting for him to get back. You stay as still as possible in the dark room as you watch him, clothed in his suit, stumble inside. He lets out a groan as he clutches his right side.

Gripping the edge of his sheets, you watch as he sits down on the edge of his bed. You take this opportunity to throw the sheets on him as you cling to him like a koala to a bamboo tree. Mark is caught off guard as he stumbles around his room trying to get the sheet off himself. You manage to pin him to the ground as he trips over your bag near his bed.

Successfully duct taping his hands and legs to his body, you bring him to the bathroom. Mark, or Spider-Man, stays silent as you sit him down on the toilet.

“I know you’re injured so is it okay if you tell me where so I can treat it?”

“Y-you just kidnapped me.”

“Is it really kidnapping if I never took you to a secondary location? Don’t answer that.”

“Can I have Spider-Man’s consent to administer first aid?”

“Yeah.”

You quickly work on washing his hands where his suit had been torn. Mark only lets out only a hiss when you apply saline before applying a bandage.

You giggle to yourself as you think about one of your dream scenarios — You walking to your room and complaining, “Oh no, wouldn’t it be terrible if there was a hot, sexy shirtless guy tied up who was whimpering and crying with a beaten, bloody face.” And Spider-Mark, with only boxers and his mask on, bruised and bloody from winning a fight and tied to the bed.

You and Haechan did have a similar fantasy and he was technically right, but you would never tell him that. You couldn’t have his ego inflate anymore than it already is.

“What’s, ow, so funny?”

“Just thinking… do you need an ice pack or something?”

“No, I’ll be healed in a bit.”

“Woah – like super healing?” 

He nods as you continue looking over the torn or burnt parts of his suit for any more injuries. Thankfully, Mark doesn’t have any serious wounds that would need a proper medical professional because you doubt he would let you take him to the hospital in full red and blue spandex get up. Especially since you’re not supposed to know his secret identity.

It wasn’t your fault that you were able to piece it together due to knowing him.

“Okay, you’re done Spidey.” You pat his shoulder as you turn to wash your hands again. “I can’t believe I was able to take you by surprise! Me – a regular civilian.”

“My spidey sense didn’t go off because you’re not a threat.” He huffs as you walk him back to his bed.

“I can be threatening.”

Mark laughs at this.

If you hadn’t realized before, then hearing Mark’s signature laugh would knock it into you. This is the laugh you love to hear. The laugh you try your best to hear every day. It’s one of his best qualities.

He plops down on the bed as you stand above him, trying your best to quell the absolutely batshit inappropriate thoughts you’re currently having.

“What’s with that look on your face?”

You force a neutral look as you bite back the smile fighting its way. “What look?”

Mark begins to say your name, but then he catches himself. “What are you thinking about?”

“I’m thinking about my crush on you, Spider-Man.”

“And?”

“And,” You begin as you sit down at the edge of the bed. “how much I want to fuck him.”

The silence between the two of you is deafening, even the noise of car horns and yelling becomes faint. It feels like an eternity before Mark breaks the silence by ripping the duct tape and sheet prison you put him in. One second, he’s restrained, you blink, and next thing he’s free and cupping your face with his hands.

Honestly, you’re turned on more because the fact that he let you duct tape when he has heightened levels of strength speaks volumes.

“Do you really mean that?”

“Yes, a million times yes.

Mark scoots closer to you as you smile at him.

Wrapping your arms around the back of his neck, you bring your lips next to his ear and emphasize each word, “I need to fuck you.”

Next thing you know, Mark is pining you down as he hovers above you. You smile at him as see Mark falter for a bit.

“It’s going to be hard to kiss you through your mask.”

“I can’t take it off.”

“That’s okay, I’ll kiss you elsewhere.”

Freeing your dominant hand, you drag your hand from his neck to his crotch, the fabric tight around his length. Your hand cups his dick as he lets out a gasp.

“You know the traffic light colors.”

“Mhmm.”

“If you’re okay with this…” You hover your hand, pausing the teasing you were doing.

“Green.”

“Great!“

You lick your lips as Mark brings your hands back to his body. Your free hand takes off the top part of your outfit as you continue palming him.

“Wait, let me take off my suit.”

Lying back on his bed, Mark taps the Spider logo on his suit causing the spandex costume to loosen around him. He takes off the suit in one piece just leaving him in his mask and matching red and blue boxer briefs.

“Cute.”

You can bet that he’s blushing under the mask.

You can bet that he’s blushing under his mask, and you want nothing more than to see it.

In response, you stand up to take off the rest of your outfit leaving you almost bare for him, just the thin barrier of underwear stopping direct skin to skin contact. You settle back on top of him and continue your palming on his boner as your other hand plays with the elastic of his boxers.

Mark breathes out a shaky “Wait.”

You pause tilting your head to the side in confusion removing your hand. You kept silent as Mark readjusts his position to have his body on his bed with his head leaning down. He looks up at you as he removes the bottom of his mask off.

“I need to taste you.”

Well, you certainly weren’t going to pass him up on that offer. You stand in between his face as Mark spreads your legs open and rests his hands on your ass.

“Do you – ohmygod – want me to also help you?” You throw your head back as he begins kissing your inner thigh.

“Don’t worry about me.” He speaks between kisses, “Let me take care of you.”

Moaning in response, Mark slowly begins giving you head. Taking his time to lick every inch of your hole making you hold his shoulders to steady yourself from the pleasure. You want to keep talking to him, but you cannot form a single coherent thought as Mark brings you closer to cumming.

Marks begins humming as he continues working magic with his mouth allowing you to cum with his tongue.

He moves his head away from you as he helps you sit back on the bed due to your legs shaking.

“Damn.”

“You liked that, huh?”

“Don’t be cocky but speaking of cock.” You smirk as you reach over to his crotch and lightly squeeze.

Mark moans in response and lays his hand on top of yours removing your hand.

“How did you recover so quickly?”

“Built differently.” You say as you straddle his thighs, centimeters away from the one thing you want inside you. “You got a condom?”

He nods as he holds one up. You’re not sure where he got it maybe used a web to get it or something.

Shaking the thought away, Mark rolls the condom on his erect dick. You allow him to hold your hips as you sink down on him, your eyes rolling back with each inch you take.

“Fuck.”

Letting a gasp out when you finally take all of him inside you. The stretch hurting a bit, but you begin sloppily making out with Mark as you allow him to rock your hips rhythmically. You can taste yourself and it almost makes it hotter when you begin biting on his bottom lip causing Mark to whimper. This gets you going more as you ride him faster hoping to have you both cum at the same time.

“You work so hard saving people.” Pausing to have your tongue explore the inside of his mouth more. “You deserve to get rewarded.”

His hands grip your ass as his hips start to stutter, signaling to you that he’s almost there. You start kissing his neck and when you feel the pressure building up inside you, you raise your hips to the tip of him and slam down as you pull his body flush against yours.

“Cum for me.”

Mark lets out a deep groan as he cums into the condom as he hugs your waist. You allow yourself to ride out your high before you become overstimulated.

Smiling at him, Mark helps you get off him and back on his bed. You lay next to him as you both slow your breathing back to normal. The silence of the room is broken by a notification from your phone.

You had to go back to your dorm soon since you picked up an extra shift at the bookstore tomorrow morning.

Getting up, you grab your clothes and shoes to put them back on. Making sure to grab your bag with your phone inside.

Once you’re redressed, you climb back on the bed to straddle Mark’s thighs, kissing him one last time.

“Bye Mark, see you tomorrow!” You say as you pull his mask back down.

“W-what?”

“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”

Smiling at him, you close his door behind him as you walk past Johnny and Jaehyun passed out on the couch.

masterlist | main story

author’s note sorry i've been so busy. i got to see dream in concert recently & my pcd was so bad. i miss them. i miss mark!!! then i got busy with school & work, but now i'm free because of the hurricane. hopefully the power won't go out so i can write more.

does anyone else use head gender neutrally??? because I do. everyone gets head! you get head! you also get head!! also tell me why this took me forever to write the actual smut. i genuinely don’t know what i’m doing.

now “are you okay?” is done!!! woooo!! time to focus back on the inheritance, kinktober, & an untitled uni monster txt fic.

[nkn0va]

What if yuzuriha, wagner, and orie met their s/o in bbtag? What if the reader decides to stay with them and leave their own world behind? Either because they hated it or just a depressing reason.

I'd take that chance too, ngl. Anything to get out of this shitshow we live in right now.

Slight CW: Slight hints of abuse/neglect in Wagner's section

-Once Yuzuriha along with everyone else heard that the only way to build up enough energy for System to send them home was to fight, she was naturally pretty enthusiastic. It wasn't every day she'd get to fight people from other worlds entirely. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't at least somewhat excited.

-She fully expected to be fighting some pretty damn strong opponents along the way, as well as team up with equally powerful allies. However even knowing the circumstances she ever expected to find someone like you.

-It took quite a bit of time to build up enough energy by fighting, much more than expected. That left you and her plenty of time to get to know each other. She found you intriguing, even minus the fact you were from another world. Wasn't long before that intrigue turned to attraction, feelings you ended up returning.

-Unfortunately it wasn't meant to last, because eventually System had finally regained all of her power. She's beginning the process of sending everyone home before you intervene, saying you wanted to go to Kanzakai with Yuzu, taking both of them aback and asking you why.

-With a sigh you reveal that your life back home...wasn't the best. You opened up about alone you really were, having lost your family in an accident and grappling with your own hopelessness about your purpose in life. You figured perhaps maybe starting over somewhere else was the best solution, and you wanted it to be with the first person you'd truly connected with for the first time in what felt like forever.

-Yuzuriha didn't have the heart to turn you down. She was more than willing to take you in and give you a fresh start. When you wake up, it's clearly late at night, and you're on the ground near what seems like a shrine, one you obviously don't recognize.

-Yuzu is the first to call out to you as she wakes up too, introducing the place as the shrine she's duty-bound to protect that she's mentioned in passing during your time in the Phantom Field.

-She can talk more about that later. First order of business is introducing you to her sister and mother and showing you where you'll be sleeping. You can go out to see Kanzakai after you've gotten some rest.

-Unlike Yuzuriha, Wagner was noticeably less thrilled about the idea of fighting so much. Teamwork isn't exactly her strong suit and she'd already wasted her time enough in this place as is.

-She wasn't interested in the chit-chat some of the others were partaking in. If she was talking to someone, it was to either team up with them for a fight or challenge them. Nothing more, nothing less. This was however, until you came along.

-For whatever reason you wanted to stick by her for more than just your first battle together. Wagner inexplicably started feeling this way too. Of course if you asked her she just said you were a fierce ally in battle, but that was only a surface reason.

-She eventually lets it slip. Being near you made her feel something she'd never felt before. Looking at you, especially when you smiled at her, made her heart suddenly start to beat faster and her face to feel warm, a very different kind of warm from her fire powers. It felt...warm and pleasant, and it confused her.

-Well the cat was out of the bag now, she had fallen for you whether she liked it or not. She was more than thankful that instead of laughing at her or taking advantage of her feelings that you returned them.

-Of course that only made it painful to have to go back to her home world much to her annoyance, at least until you stepped in saying you wanted to go back to Erika's world with her.

-Upon asking why you explained your...less than ideal family situation. They weren't the best people to be raised by for a number of reasons. It really screwed with you as a person in a lot of ways and you wanted nothing more than to get away from it. If it meant having to leave to another world, so be it.

-She was understandably furious at the revelation. She almost wanted to head back to your world instead just to teach them a lesson. She couldn't though, unlike you she had duties and business back home, pretty important ones at that. Yet that wouldn't stop her from bringing you home with her. It was likely for the best anyway.

-Upon passing out and waking up, you find yourself in the middle of a park in a rather large city with Erika waking up next to you. She can't take you to Licht Kreis HQ unfortunately. Even if she was their 4th Executor, non-personnel are not allowed on base.

-She opts to take you to the house she'd been given on her "rehabilitation" mission. She'll calm down Silvaria later once she inevitably finds out about you, the first order of business is getting you acquainted to an entirely new world.

-Orie's sort of in the middle when it comes to her stance on the fighting. She wasn't the biggest fan but she realized it was necessary if she wanted to get herself and everyone else caught up in all this Phantom Field business home so she readily took up her blade and fought anyone that would accept a duel...or... 2v2 fight.

-You were one of her first partners. She'd come across people she didn't know but they were from your world so you had some valuable intel on them that helped lead to victory. She admired your battle prowess even outside of that so she saw no harm in forming a bonafide team with you.

-Something began to happen though as you continued fighting. The way you always had her back, showed grace to your opponents no matter what, and the way you showed concern for her if you thought she was injured, she started to feel differently about you. Eventually, no matter how she spun it, there was no mistaking what it was.

-It took a really....really...really long time for System to regain power, she wasn't kidding when she emphasized the 'slowly' part during her explanation. It was long enough that you two managed to find out about each other's mutual feelings.

-It's a real shame when the time inevitably comes that System has replenished the proper power to send everyone home. At least that's what Orie is thinking until out of nowhere you ask System to send you to Kanzakai with her.

-Naturally she questions you on this decision, and you now have to tell her about your home; it's been ravaged by war, for quite a while now at that. A good majority of your world, including your home has been all but turned to wasteland where simple day to day survival was a cutthroat competition.

-Orie's heart sinks when she learns what your world was like, that someone so good had to live in a world so bad. It's a pretty easy decision for her to let you go to Kanzakai with her for the sake of giving you a better life, to give you the salvation you deserve.

-The moment you're teleported and wake up in Kanzakai, you almost start crying. It had been long since you'd last seen such a grand pristine city, last seen people living peacefully together without having to worry about where their next meal would come from or if they would even see the sun rise again. Far too long...

-Orie sees this and immediately asks if anything's wrong, you have to calm her down. Nothing is wrong with you. In fact they've never been better.

[willowser]

Ok ok but Star crossed lovers + dance of romance with our dear Katsuki if you can and if not I understand bb!!💌💕

OH STAR CROSSED LOVERS. OH erika this has to be dancing with him at your wedding to someone else. oh, it has to be. you try so hard to make it work in your young adult life, but — dating a pro-hero is so hard !!! katsuki's still young and stubborn about opening himself up, even if he wants to !! even if he wants it to be you he comes home to, you he eats dinner with, you he is worthy of !! but his job is so demanding 🥺 and he can see it tearing you apart 🥺 and he doesn't know how to balance his work life and his love life and so you both. call it quits.

you tell him with tears in your eyes, nose runny and rubbed raw, "find me as soon as you can, okay? come find me when we can make it work, and i'll wait for you."

and he promises to, with a red face and his own bleary eyes.

and you don't wait.

he finds out before he's ready, before he can give you the love you deserve and it makes him fucking angry. some asshole sweeps you off your feet a few years later, and though katsuki isn't a social media person, the only reason he agrees to an agency instagram is so he can occasionally see your face. what you're doing. hear your laugh in your little reels. but then there's another face, another laugh, and he thinks he maybe hates you for it.

you run into each other by chance and he can't even stand to look at you, can't bear to look at the new way you wear your hair, the new way you dress, and know that you're going home to someone else. when you try to talk to him about it, he just — erupts. blames all his anger and heartbreak on you, is ugly and hideous and so green it makes him sick, and after that he thinks maybe you hate him too and that's for the best.

after a couple of months, it doesn't work out with your stupid, charming idiot, but katsuki's fucked it all up with you; he sends a hesitant, simple text and gets no response; his official instagram is blocked. and he's still not ready, but he can't let the moment slip through his fingers and he shows up at your door and it's — crazy. heated. intense and passionate. clothes are flung across your apartment and you mark him down to his bones and he's never had someone the way he's had you. the way he still can't. the morning comes early with a call from kirishima and he leaves before the sun rises.

you do this, for a while. this back and forth, push and pull thing that only ever ends one way: you, naked and asleep and left behind. it's not good. it's not healthy. you're both angry and hurt and it doesn't work, won't work, but — it's all either of you can get. and it doesn't stop until another charming idiot comes along and another screaming match is what you leave behind.

neither of you reach out. the years pass by and he stops trying to keep tabs on you, tries to move on himself. he dates and brings people home, but it's never the same. he starts to think that maybe, entering his thirties, that he can figure this out, that maybe he's put in enough time to balance his work life and his love life, to get you back. he makes plans, he tests his boundaries for vacation time and learns to allow someone to take his shift, if he needs the night off. he says no, he says i can't because i have plans. he figures it out.

your wedding invitations are pretty, delicate. you look nice in your photo; happy and taken care of. at first he thinks maybe you sent it to hurt him, but there's a small, handwritten note stuffed into the envelope that he's sure isn't going out with all the rest of the invites: i really hope that you can make it. i would love to see you.

katsuki takes the time off. katsuki gets his shift covered and he changes from his hero costume to something nice, even with a tie. there's a small hope he has going into it that he'll get to talk to you before the ceremony, that this will play out like the movies and you'll see him and change your mind and it will work out, finally.

but it doesn't.

"don't cry," he tells you during your dance, as you stare anywhere but him and blink your eyes, sniffing and frowning. "you'll fuck up all your makeup and i'll look like an asshole."

it makes you laugh, and it's the first time he's heard it in years. it doesn't stop the tears though, and you can't speak until you blink them away. "thanks for coming."

katsuki shrugs, hand tightening on the back of your dress as his throat threatens to close. "sorry it wasn't sooner."

the face you make is awful, one he's seen many times, at this point. one that hurts just as much as it did the first time, when you both walked away. "sorry i didn't wait longer."

and he is too, but he can't open his mouth to tell you it's alright, because if he does he's not sure what he'll really say. he's not sure if he's still angry. he's not sure that he won't ask you to leave with him, right now. he's not sure he's ready to give up.

but you are finally and — that's always been it, hasn't it ? it's always been katsuki that's walked away empty.

✨️ trope game ! ✨️

[loosesodamarble]

Welcome to the Black Bird Part 10: Christian the Sinister

Summary: Introducing Zora as Christian, Black Bird's sassy and sadistic butler. Watch out, he bites. Genre: general Word count: ~850 A/N: @cringeyvanillamilk is to thank for the commission of Zora.

..........

“I’ve got it!” Zara laughed when he burst into the kitchen. “I’ve got a name for the business! ‘The Ideale Place’!”

Zora blinked a couple times before sarcastically remarking, “That sounds like home realty and not a restaurant, Dad. Maybe you should change it to ‘The Ideale Plate’ instead.”

“Ha! That’s genius!” Zara dashed up to where Zora sat and ruffled his hair against Zora’s protests. “What would I do without you, little man?”

The man in Zora’s memories and the man passed out on the living room couch seemed like two different people. But Zora knew they were the same, mostly. One still had a dream burning in his soul. The other had the dream stamped on and snuffed.

“Hey Dad…” Zora set a plate of food—oven-roasted vegetables and a pan-fried chicken breast— on the coffee table. He nudged Zara’s shoulder.

“Huh…” Zara groaned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Yeah? Wassup, Zora?”

“I made dinner.”

“Aw, thanks.” Zara sat up, grunting as he did so. While by no means an old man, his body must’ve ached from being overworked. He smiled and nudged Zora’s arm. “What would I do without you?”

“Dunno…” Zora rubbed the back of his neck. Then, he shuffled back to the kitchen. Maybe if I wasn’t around… Zora’s eyes drifted from his own serving of dinner on the counter to a thick binder, a cookbook compiled by Zara, from which the recipe for dinner came from. Then you would’ve been able to live your dream instead.

…..

If there was one thing that Zora enjoyed about his job, it was that he didn’t have to worry about his customer service skills. At least, not as much as other people in the industry had to worry.

Zora sauntered up to the table he would be serving while tapping his server booklet against his shoulder. A familiar woman with coffee brown hair sat with a man with dark auburn hair and an eyepatch over his left eye. They looked to be dressed for a date, wearing clothes that would’ve been too nice for a casual outing between friends.

“Oh? You’re back again?” Zora asked while eyeing the woman up and down. “What a persistent little insect you are, Mistress Erika.” He sneered at her, making Erika giggle behind her hand.

“Sorry, Christian, I can’t help but find my way back here,” Erika remarked bashfully. “Plus, I promised Gilbert that I’d bring him here for our date.”

“Tch. I don’t need your excuses. Just apologize and get it over with,” Zora said brusquely.

“Better stop it right there, buddy,” the man, Gilbert, finally spoke up, a sharp gleam in his eye. “I know she’s playing along, but I’d never forgive myself if I let you torment my cute date.”

Erika’s eyes went wide and she blushed redder than a tomato. “G-Gilbert…”

“Don’t be so surprised,” Gilbert chuckled then grinned softly at Erika. “And I keep telling you just ‘Gil’ is fine.” To his reminder, Erika squeaked and nodded.

“Hnn… Right. If we’re done with the mush…” Zora sighed. “Christian’s the name and I’ll be your butler this evening. Better be good little customers, Master Gilbert and Mistress Erika, or I’ll make you regret my service,” he said with a practiced smirk.

Gilbert raised his brow and his own grin seemed to challenge Zora. Good to know that even if he wasn’t the target audience, this Gilbert fellow was able to go with the flow of the cafe. Because as much as he liked his freedom to throw typical customer service out the window, he still prided himself with entertaining the cafe’s guests.

…..

Fiend’s Firework Stew. Beef stew with a punishingly strong spice to it. The heat is thanks to being made with the country's spiciest pepper.

It was a dish that Zora adapted from one of Zara’s recipes. Zara used a combination of jalapeno, sweet heat, Korean chili peppers, and cayenne to give his pepper stew a medley of vegetal, smokey, and lightly sweet tastes. He would swap in other peppers for different flavors, such as cascabella for nuttiness or firecracker peppers if he was looking for fruitiness.

For the stew served at the Black Bird, Zora knew he had to turn the level up as the cafe’s sadist butler. There was cayenne and habanero used in the new recipe. The real star of the stew, though, was the shinigami pepper, a new breed of pepper cultivated by a farm right outside of the city.

I wonder what Dad would think of the stew, Zora mused as he de-seeded a pile of peppers to turn into a paste for the stew. While he mainly served as a butler, he did work in the cafe’s kitchen too. I wonder what he’d think of all this. I hope he’s happy, that he’s proud.

All of Zara’s skill, knowledge, and passion, Zora learned from them and built off them. He did it to honor his dad, to give back to the man that gave Zora everything. 

Zara’s dream would come true.

Zora swore to himself that he’d make it so.

His vow was all that kept him going.

[chickensoup-4-mysoul]

herculean (drrr x f!reader)

Chapter 10 - Beginning of the End

synopsis: just as you're returning back to normal following the slasher incident, you receive a strange message that knocks you off-kilter

word count: 7,531

warnings: violence, minor blood, minor sexual harassment

"someone, come quickly this place was built for moving out leave behind buildings, the city planners got mapped out,, the execution of all things - rilo kiley

ERIKA Walker replaced Saburo's door. Wanna see?

ME Absolutely.

ERIKA Attachment: 1 Image

You drop your phone from laughing so hard at the picture. It's a selfie, with Walker and Erika posing for the camera in front of the van's door. The door itself is an entirely different color and, more importantly, has a cute anime girl in a maid's costume on it. The funniest part was that both Kyohei and Saburo could be seen in the back, visibly in grief. Oh, poor, poor Saburo! 

ME There's no way you guys aren't gonna be recognized with that!

ERIKA That's what Dotachin said!

ERIKA Are you doing okay?

There it was. Erika was always a carefree person, always with a lighthearted air about her. It was rare to see her talk about more serious matters, or at least approach them in a serious way. When she did, it was always in disguise; sandwiched between jokes and fun conversation.

ME Yeah, just tired. I ran an errand this morning. besides that I think I'm gonna have a day in, today.

Said 'errand' was a trip to the hospital to visit Anri, who had her own run-in with the slasher. You kept your cool, however--someone had to because it was only Mikado there after Masaomi ran off. It was only a lot of small cuts, you noticed, easily treated with bandages and disinfectant. She was surprisingly chipper, smiling for the first time in what felt like a while. You grinned, amused as she explains her story of the Headless Rider coming to save her. The grin broadened at the blush on her cheeks. A little crush on Celty, huh? Mikado's got some competition! Mikado was sweet about it, assuring her that he believed her admittedly crazy story. "If you said it, it must be true!"

"Oh, it was. I was attacked by the Slasher, myself. In my own apartment, no less." They both stared at you with wide eyes. Smiling back, you shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly. "It was actually the Headless Rider who saved me, as well. Not just that, though, but Shizuo Heiwajima, too!"

Mikado's eyes were practically popping out of his head at your story. As he ranted nervously about the two of you having some interesting lives, you made eye contact with Anri, who snuck you a smile. You were just glad she was alright.

ERIKA Cool. Let us know if you need anything. :)

Ah, so it was an 'us'. Your heart flutters as you wonder if the boys were worried as well. They were all so kind to you--it was crazy how lucky you were. Living here was wild, you had to admit that, but the friends made it worth it. It occurred to you that this would only last for a year. What would you do once you left? You could always text and email, sure, but what about the people that weren't texters? What about the people that you weren't necessarily the closest to, but were still consistent in your every day life? What about the shops you liked the most and your favorite hangout spots?

Texting is a fine and dandy form of communication but it's not comparable to seeing them in person. Nothing could compare to the stars in Erika's eyes, Walker's enthusiastic gestures, Saburo's happy tears, Kyohei's exhausted sighs, Shizuo's warm, brown stare, Anri's mousy voice, or Celty's tapping fingers. You wouldn't see any more of that once you left. Sighing, you realize how much you've dampened your spirits. Your phone vibrates with another text and you check it, assuming it's another one of your friends.

Your blood turns to ice in a matter of seconds. You swallow in an attempt to wet your drying mouth, but nothing could relieve the sudden need for water. 

FATHER You need to come home. Soon.

Your father was a curt man. What he needed to express, he expressed with actions. Not words, not phone calls, and certainly not texts. Your hands are trembling now. You thought that everything was going fine! What possibly could have happened? Shakily, you type out a message in reply.

ME Why, has something happened?

The sudden appearance of a call startles you and you drop your phone in surprise. Lo and behold, your father's contact appears on the screen. You take a moment to compose yourself before answering the call. There's eery silence.

"H-hello?"

"(Y/N)."

It had been so long since you had heard his voice. On any other occasion, it would have been soothing to you, but there was something about this context, his tone, that sets you on edge. Ignoring your growing dread, you clear your throat and answer him, polishing your out-of-practice English the best that you could.

"Good morning, Father! I-I've missed y-."

"There is a plane coming for you tonight. I expect you to board that flight and be home by midnight."

"What!? Did something happen, are you okay??"

"Do not worry about me. I've simply decided that sending you to Ikebukuro was not the most optimal course of action. You are to return immediately." It was foreign, how he was speaking to you. He had always been a curt man, but your father was always warm and affectionate to you. Now he was so impersonal, commanding.

"Father, you're frightening me a little..."

"You do not intend to disobey me, do you?"

The sudden severity of his tone makes you wince. It seemed that whatever situation this was, it was dire. You meekly reply that no, you would never disobey him and you would see him tonight. 

"Good. Do not worry about packing, just come as you are. And one more thing. You are not to speak of this to anyone. Disappear without a trace." At this, you are completely awake. You stand from your position on the bed, surprised by the feeling that had welled up in you so quickly. For the first time, you were feeling outraged towards your beloved father. Disappear? Without a trace?? How could he possibly expect that from you? You had already made so much progress with your studies!! More importantly, what about all of your friends? Just in the past month, you had gotten closer to them than you ever had to anyone! They even seemed to really like you! Some even seemed to…

It’s hard to discern the exact source of the burning sensation in your face, but it spurs you to speak up. However, the moment you open your mouth, there’s a click and the line goes dead. 

The sound of the monotone infuriates you. Tears of frustration pool in the corners of your eyes as you throw yourself onto your bed. What on earth was this? A month had gone by without any contact with your father. He had warned you of this, stating that he wanted you to have an independent experience. In spite of that, you had got along fine! You were only knocked out cold by the strongest man in Ikebukuro (possibly the world), invited to join a colorless color gang, shown the dark shadow abyss of a headless woman, and attacked by multiple possessed demon people...but he didn't even know about all of that! What could have possibly changed his mind?

Worse than that, what could you possibly do about it? You had never disobeyed him--you never had a reason to. He had always been so charitable and kind and generous, you practically idolized him. Sighing, you roll over onto your back. You would have to leave your friends, not telling them anything. You could only imagine how worried they'd be if you just disappeared. Did this mean you couldn't contact them afterward? That you would never interact with them ever again?

It wasn't fair. Less fair than losing your memory, less fair than almost being murdered by a red-eyed zombie mob.

...but you just couldn't disobey your father.

...

"So, what happened to a day in?" You smile at Saburo's question. So Erika had been relaying your messages to the rest of the gang after all. 

"I thought I'd be sleeping the day away, but after an hour I got so restless, I couldn't even stay laying down! Guess I'm just not the nocturnal type." You were all leaned up against the van, enjoying your lunches. You sat cross-legged between Walker and Erika, while Saburo and Kyohei remained standing. The last thing you wanted to do was sit around all day, dreading the moment you would have to board a plane and leave the life you had made behind. Your friends would know the last time they saw you as the night some possessed man tried to stab you. 

A flurry of different sounds reaches your ears. A chime, a short jingle, a deep vibration...a high pitched girl's voice? As your friends all look down at their phones, you realize that it had been their ringtones. A vibration in your pocket alerts you of your own device. Your friends don't miss how you've joined them in checking your phone and, exchanging looks with each other, decide to ignore it in favor of the importance of the message they had all apparently received.

"This guy...he's like--the leader of the Dollars, right?" Walker questions from beside you.

admin@dollars: Seeking information on the Slasher.

It was a simple, short request, but to everyone who saw it, it carried great weight. Whoever the leader, the creator of this entire gang, was, they were seeking out the Slasher. If they did find it, there was bound to be some type of battle. Was there really one person responsible, though? After all, it had been a mob of people last night, and even those people didn't seem to understand what they were doing after their eyes went back to normal. It was almost as if it was some sort of supernatural force, not one sole being--and somehow, that supernatural force was trying to put Shizuo--and you--under its control.

How would it do that, though? All it seemed to be trying to do was slash you both to pieces! That didn't make sense if they wanted you on their side, did it? Now that you thought about it...none of the Slasher's victims died, did they? Mr. Niekawa, the three girls from Raira...they simply came back but possessed. Did the Slasher possess people by attacking them? That wouldn't make sense...you know people, two people in particular who were cut by the Slasher and came out just fine. One of them was basically a superhuman with extraordinary capabilities, and the other... was just a normal little high school girl...

You feel a nudge on your shoulder. Erika, the culprit, has a look in her eye that you can't discern. Realizing that you had zoned out for a bit, you force a smile back onto your face. "Hey, you guys have a bunch of copies of that manga left, right? Super Tragic High School Life?" The intensity of her gaze dissipates in seconds as if it had never been there.

"Oh, yeah! Turns out that store didn't have the special edition. Some guy in Shinjuku got it," she explains. Walker is practically steaming at the ears, his face going red. "What a waste," he murmurs indignantly. 

"Any way I could borrow a copy or two? I'm interested in reading it."

"Of course! They're not in the trunk anymore, though. We'd have to go back to my place to get them," Walker says.

"Oh, that's fine. In fact, you can drop them off at my apartment the next time you're in the area. It'll get to me eventually." 

You don't notice how Kyohei's eyes narrowed at the odd wording of your statement. The pair are excited by your interest, providing you with some background on the series. They're not very good at avoiding spoilers, but you don't mind. When their explanation ends, you turn your attention to Saburo, asking what his favorite songs from Ruri Hijiribe were.

"Wha- you can't just ask me that and expect an immediate answer! Gimme until tonight to look through her discography and I'll give you an answer by midnight--maybe later." 

Your laughter is louder than you usually allow it to be, almost as if you're forcing it. This was a happy, lighthearted moment with your friends, you told yourself. Sighing, you don't realize how your head has fallen onto Walker's shoulder. "I can wait," you muse, grinning.

...

It was odd, being the only one out of the two of you to actually drink the tea in your hands. However, the basically decapitated body in front of you was even odder. Celty sat across from you, hands neatly tucked into her lap. You don't know why you expected some sort of gory mess where her neck and head would be attached, but the simple black stream of mist wafting out was certainly a better sight. The top of her bodysuit is partially unzipped, revealing her ghostly pale skin. Looking at her was a surreal experience itself, yet here you were, having a conversation with her. "So, you live here with Shinra? Are you guys good friends?"

The wriggling of her shoulders as she twiddles her thumbs tells you otherwise. "Actually, he's my fiance. We're partners."

You squeal in excitement. That was so cute!! Celty, the dark, daredevil of a woman was going to marry a friendly, nerdy Shinra. Unconventional pairs had always been your favorite. Heartened by the news, you ask her all sorts of questions. How long had they known each other, how long had they been engaged, did they know when the ceremony was going to be, what were their plans for the wedding? It was against your better judgment to pry so much, but Celty didn't seem perturbed at all, answering all of your questions to the best of her ability.

You're not surprised by her apparent immortality, considering she is a woman walking around without a head. She had known Shinra since he was a young boy. That part was a little odd to you, but she clarified that she hadn't had any sort of interest in him until he was an adult. It seemed as though she hadn't thought much about an actual ceremony, leaving those plans to Shinra. The way she talks about him, it's obvious that he's impossibly whipped for her. You smile into your tea, imagining the calm and collected doctor who you had met long ago blushing and pampering his lovely headless wife.  "But hey, whatever it is, how would you feel about being apart of it?"

You almost spit out your tea after reading her message. "R-Really!? You're sure about that?"

"Yeah! You're supposed to include your friends, right? Maybe you can even help me pick out dresses, since you know about that stuff."

You're over the moon, already picturing the event. However big or small it ended up being, it would be an honor to be a part of something so special. Celty would look absolutely stunning in a dark gown--no white, it wouldn't be staying true to her character--with gold accents. Maybe Shinra would be the one in white. Maybe bridesmaids would be in gold dresses? Something that matched her helmet. Celty respectfully listens as you express these thoughts. However, your rant stops abruptly.

"Is something wrong? You stopped kind of suddenly there."

"No, it's nothing! I just remembered that I....um..."

I'm not going to be there for your wedding.

It feels as though every ounce of glee that was in your body had dissipated in a matter of seconds. You wouldn't be there to help Celty with her dress or see her walk down the aisle. You'd be gone, with no one knowing what happened to you. Your fingers tighten their grip on the teacup. It occurs to you that you both have been sitting in silence. "...I'm worried I may forget all of this!! Maybe we should write it down somewhere." Celty leaves her position on the couch, motioning for you to follow her. She leads you to a smaller room with a desk and computer. You stand behind her and she pulls up a notepad window, typing something onto it.

"Good idea. I'm definitely going to need your guidance."

I'll do my best, Celty.

...

Shizuo's bartender uniforms held a great significance to him, that he had made clear from very early on. It was sweet, how he wanted to show his appreciation for his brother's generosity. After all, it would have been a shame for all of those uniform sets to go to waste after he had been fired from that job. But god... you would pay millions to see him wear literally anything else!

"Anything here that catches your eye? Remember, price isn't an issue--it's technically part of my studies, so Father won't mind if I splurge a little bit."

You could really go all out here--put him in a fitted pant, add a fit-ribbed turtle-neck, throw on a nice peacoat--but you worried that if you took it too far out of his comfort zone, it would just collect dust in his closet. Shizuo eyes the displays of clothes surrounding him, haphazardly perusing different racks before moving to the next one. Honestly...he looks lost...but things like this take time. "How about you pick out something? You'd know way more about this than me," he finally says. You take delight in the fact that he trusts you so much. This fact is lost on Shizuo however, who is pretty unsettled by the intense stare you're giving him right now. In reality, you're sizing him up, taking note of his body type and which traits to maximize or minimize. You briefly wonder how someone so strong could still have so lithe of a body. 

His unease is worsened by the dangerous smile you give him. "Okay, just remember you asked for this," you chide, already escaping into the depths of the store in search of a perfect ensemble.

As curious as you were to see Shizuo in something soft and flowery, you had to give him something he could wear to work. That meant upping the intimidation factor. Something fitted would definitely emphasize the sturdiness of his frame. If you were to add some layering, you could make him appear bulkier. For the sake of change and novelty, black and white would be a no-no. Some pops of color wouldn't hurt him. You're handing him a set of clothing and ushering him to a dressing room in a matter of five minutes.

"This is one outfit?? You gave me like three shirts," he calls to you.

"Don't be ridiculous. It's a button-up, a sweater, and a jacket--and yes, you do put it on in that order!"

His sigh is audible, but other than that, he puts on the clothes without any other complaints. It takes him longer to put it on than it did for you to find it, but you're patient with the man. After a lot of shuffling, grunting, and cursing, your friend finally emerges. You have to hold back your squeal in the quiet store. Even in the disheveled state that he had put it on, the outfit was already doing wonders for him. "You look so good!! Well, don't just stand there--come here, I want you to see a few things!" You're speaking to him as if drawing a small child from his hiding spot, bringing him over to a mirror. You remove his jacket, temporarily draping it over your arm.

He had tucked in the button up, which was good, you tell him, but the sweater was meant to be tucked too. After he complies, you tug at the material around his waist, loosening the sweater and giving it a little room to billow. "It's very lightweight material, so it won't get too hot or bulky," you explain, tugging at the fabric on his shoulders as well. It was a professional combination that he could easily sport at work, and the fit of it accentuated the broadness of his shoulders, you added. It's lost on you how flustered he is by the bold contact.

"I wanted to show you the effects of the ensemble without the jacket, since it's getting warmer and you won't need it pretty soon. Which is a shame because this..." You hold the jacket open as a gesture for him to put it on. "...is the icing on top of the cake!" The dark violet, velvety corduroy jacket was perhaps your best find ever. It was a more casual aspect of the otherwise professional look, perfect for when he was off the job. Really, you just couldn't resist putting some color on him. 

"You really put a lot of thought into this, huh? Didn't take you long either." Shizuo's eyes meet yours through the mirror. Even with his eyes covered, you can't help but feel as though he's thinking about something. You decided not to bother him about his sunglasses tonight, even though they kind of clash with the look but it's fine no worries not a big deal. "Well, yeah, of course! Not like I haven't thought about it before." A second passes before you realize the implications of your statement. "Like, what clothes you would look good in!! Whenever I meet someone, I can't help but dress them up in my head." One of his eyebrows raise. "Not in a weird way!! Of course, not in a weird way....just....do you like it??"

His gaze returns to his own form, scanning up and down the clothing. You watch with bated breath, gauging his reaction. You barely see the beginnings of a smile at the corners of his mouth. "Yeah, I do." You can hear a stadium of fans in your head, cheering and celebrating. Before he can say anything else, you're practically dragging him to the cashier to pay for it--with him still wearing it. You won't let him even sneak a peek at the receipt, not even after he's put on his normal clothes.

"Are you sure that you're okay with buying me those clothes?" he asks one more time as you leave the store.

"Absolutely sure. I want you to have those, Shizuo." To remember me by. "Consider it my special gift to you!"

He doesn't argue further, only smiling and shaking his head at your persistence. You would definitely miss that smile.

...

"Hey, thanks for waiting , you guys! I know it's been a long school week. You must be tired." You sat next to Mikado and Masaomi at the bar area of Russia's Sushi, waving Denis over. "Get whatever you want. My treat."

Mikado, as expected, is reluctant to mooch off of your funds, still selecting a measly, cheaper dish. Masaomi teases him, encouraging him to truly appreciate your generosity. Despite this, you notice that he chooses one of the cheaper options as well. Guess they're just conditioned that way. 

"So, what did you want to meet us for?" Mikado asks as Denis goes off to prepare your order. You hum at him, your brow raising in question. "I mean, you asked us to meet with you, kind of out of the blue. Is something wrong?"

"I can't ask my friends to hang out?" Mikado's cheeks flush, his eyes going wide as he waves his hands in some sort of apologetic gesture.

"WHAT no, I'm not saying that at all! I just figured with your incident last night, you were asking for help with something! Plus, I never thought you'd considered us as friends--not that there's anything wrong with that I'm glad to be your friend and I'm sure that Masaomi is too, I mean the age difference is a little strange but--"

"Mikado, chill out, you're gonna blow a gasket." It's funny how the boys served as such obvious foils to one another. Usually, it was Mikado having to reel Masaomi back in, but it looks like the blonde is capable of returning the favor. You shake your head, twirling your finger around the rim of your water glass. "I just wanted to hang with you guys. I'm sad Anri couldn't be here, but I'm gonna visit her later."

"What incident is Mikado talking about?" Masaomi asks. He sounds nonchalant about the matter, but there's a solemnity in his gaze that surprises you. "Oh yeah, you weren't there when I told Anri and Mikado. I had my own encounter with the Slasher last night. A bunch of them, in fact. I was luckier than Anri, though."

"There was a surge of attacks last night, wasn't there? Not to mention, a bunch of people woke up in certain locations with no memory of how they got there..." Mikado reflected Masaomi's serious demeanor, rubbing his chin in thought. The air is grimmer than you'd like it to be. "But hey, I'm alright now! Looking back on it, it was all pretty cool," you try to lighten the mood, picking up your glass and jovially clinking it against Mikado's, "to living!" Mikado smiles at you halfheartedly, making an obvious effort to cheer up. Masaomi, however, eats it up, raising his glass and sloppily clinking it against yours. 

After Denis returns with your food, you all dig in happily. You were quite the hypocrite. Even after changing subjects from the Slasher, you couldn't stop thinking about it yourself. Nor could you stop pondering the mass forum message you had received earlier that day. What would happen if the leader of the Dollars went head to head with the Slasher...?

"Hey, Masaomi, you kind of disappeared this morning. Where'd you run off to...?" you ask, forcing the thoughts away. Masaomi doesn't meet your gaze, toying with the remaining morsels of food on his tray. "Oh, just had to pay a visit to someone, is all."

Was it just you, or were both of these young men being super cryptic for no reason? Maybe it was a thing for teenage boys to brood on a regular basis, puberty and all that. Still, it was out of character for Masaomi to act so...somberly. Even when he was joking around, there was still something so subdued about him. Poor kid, what happened to Anri must have done a number on him. 

For the rest of the night, you take it upon yourself to maintain a light atmosphere. You ask them about their studies and classes at school. In a city like this, it's hard to imagine that there were students here who had to carry out a daily schedule and focus on schoolwork. Having them talk about school lifts their spirits, you notice, giving them something mundane and lighthearted to focus on. 

It gets even closer to closing, as well as the time of your flight, so you have to say good night to the pair. If you moved fast enough, you could still pay Anri a visit, since she had returned back home from the hospital. You heave a sigh as you watch the boys walk away, trying to will away the apprehension welling up in your chest. "Sighing is sign of sadness. Something wrong?" Simon's voice startles you. Looks like he had returned to his flier distribution post. 

"Oh! Hey, Simon! No, nothing's wrong. I was just thinking." Your smiling muscles had grown too tired over the course of the day, giving away the falsehood of your greeting. Simon, however, is exerting enough smiling strength for both of you. 

"That so? I find myself thinking all the time! So I can tell--just by look on person's face--when their thoughts make them sad."

I can see right through your lies is what he's basically saying. Looking up at Simon, you can't help but think that the man is a walking oxymoron. He was always smiling and friendly, yet his large frame made him intimidating--on the other hand, his presence right now brought you an odd sense of comfort. It was the same way you had felt the first time you met him: like he was the one person who, no matter what, you could definitely go to in your time of need. Could this be one of those times?

"I was thinking about how when I--if I ever had to leave this place...how much I'd miss everything and everybody," you confess. It's freeing, being able to voice your concerns. Technically, you weren't revealing anything that you weren't supposed to. Simon wordlessly opens the door to his restaurant, ushering you back inside. It was only a couple minutes after closing, and Denis was still at the bar, wiping down countertops. Your eyes meet for a moment before he simply nods in acknowledgment and returns to his work. Simon gestures for you to sit at the bar and you comply. He leaves you there, disappearing through the door leading to what you presume to be the kitchen.

After a moment, he returns, holding a cup of steaming hot tea. You recognize it as the same tea you regularly enjoyed with the van gang. The tension in your shoulders seems to wash away as you take a long sip of the steaming liquid. The others always complained about it being painfully hot, but you found the heat to be pleasant. Taking a break from the tea, you watch as Simon hums and taps his chin, obviously pondering something. After a moment, he has a noticeable epiphany, snapping his fingers in a 'eureka' moment. Pointing at you, he excitedly imparts his own words of wisdom.

"Never leave!"

You can only continue to stare at him, your blinking lids suddenly feeling heavier as you process what he had said. Never leave...? Your chuckle sounds more bitter than you intend it to be. "Of course, if it worked that way, I wouldn't ever leave, Simon--but there's going to be a time where I have to."

"Yes, of course, there may be time when you want to leave, but you just wait for that time to come!" You don't know if it's the language barrier or the sheer naivete of the statement, but you are thoroughly confused. You look over at Denis, who returns your gaze. However, he only shrugs and continues cleaning. 

"W-Well, that'd be nice if I had the choice but--there are other factors...there are reasons...why I would have to leave." It's very hard to explain without sharing too much. At this point, it was becoming a little too obvious that this situation wasn't entirely hypothetical. Simon's smile suddenly drops. He doesn't look angry or discontented per se, but he talks slowly, his next words carrying a great weight.

"Other factors is correct--but nothing can force you--not if you don't want to."

You have no response to that. No rebuttal or explanation for how that was obviously not the right answer. You could only sit there, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. He was telling you to disobey your father. Not word for word, but that was the advice he was giving you. To go against Father's wishes--that would be ridiculous. Of course, he couldn't force you, but he never would! He had done so much for you, always holding your best interest at heart. 

"Only you know what's best for you." The voice is foreign and you look around the room to find where it came from. You're surprised to find that it was the usually silent Denis. His gaze is the same, stern and tired, but it's trained so intently on you in a way it had never been before. "Others may think they know what's best, or act like they know what's best, but you're the only one who can truly make that decision."

His Japanese was clearer than Simon's. You wonder what time he had to practice, considering he had rarely spoken as far as you knew. Your gaze switched between the two of them, noting how they seemed to have the same opinion on the matter. It was a really headstrong conclusion to make: no one, not even your father, had the right to force you out of something that was good for you. All you had been taught growing up was to be obedient and respectful, namely to your father. When he told you to do something, anything otherwise hadn't even been considered an option. In fact, you don't recall ever receiving any form of punishment.

Maybe...just this once...he would be understanding? He was always so kind to you...he would respect your wishes, wouldn't he? If you explained how much this city meant to you--and you were willing to compromise! Maybe if you left for a brief period and came back, or if you could at least keep in contact with your friends and let them know where you were. You felt as though a physical weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. The whole day, you had felt so hopeless, but there was hope! All you had to do was speak up for yourself a little bit!

When you try to pay for the tea before leaving, Simon refuses the payment, claiming that it was a "Regular's Special" or something. Choosing not to argue, you thank the two men and say your goodbyes. As you walk through the plaza,  you can't help but notice how much emptier it is than normal. People must have decided to stay indoors in response to all of the Slasher attacks. Due to the prolonged time spent at Russia's Sushi, you were cutting it a little close between your visit to Anri's and the boarding time for your flight. 

If you called him right now, would he let you miss the flight? Would you be able to head to Anri's, tell the whole funny story, and laugh it off? Would you be able to stay here longer? You stare at your phone in your hand, dreading the moment you would have to press that 'call' button. Father had never been angry with you. The way he had spoken this morning was truly the shortest he had ever been. Perhaps he was just in a bad mood at the time. Now that he'd had the whole day to wake up, he'd be more pleasant, like he always was. He would understand. He would understand. He would understand.

"Dr. Brigall speaking."

You had called him without even realizing it. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you raise the phone to your ear.

"F-Father! This is (Y/N)."

"(Y/N)," you swear you could hear a sigh, but it could have just been background noise. "Something the matter? The time to board your flight is approaching. On your way to the airport, I presume?"

"N-No, not ye--no, I'm not." Trying to correctly place your words is excruciating and your stuttering all over the place. You had hoped he would've returned to his warmer demeanor, but it was actually making the deed harder. 

"Well, why would that be? Punctuality is very important, you wouldn't want to keep everyone on the plane waiting, would you?"

"Father, I've had such a great time here. I've made so many friends and already progressed so much in my studies!"

"That's great to hear. I'm glad you benefited from this in some way before you had to return home." You realize that he's not getting the point; that you would have to state it explicitly.

"Exactly! So...imagine how much I could benefit from staying here the whole year, like we had originally planned!"

"...(Y/N), I hope you're not trying to do what I think you're doing. I thought I made myself very clear this morning. You are going to be on that flight." You can already hear how his tone is starting to shift, mimicking that same strict attitude from this morning.

"I-I understand that you think this is what's best for me, but I think this is what's best for me! Staying here, and building more relationships, and--" Now that you've started, you can't stop. You could convince him, you could make him understand.

"(Y/N), I won't repeat myself--"

"--and developing my studies and--!"

"YOUNG LADY, YOU WILL OBEY ME THIS INSTANT!"

All the breath seems to leave your body. Had your grip on your phone not tightened, you almost would have dropped it. You stand alone, under the illumination of a single streetlight. Father had raised his voice at you. He had gotten angry at you so quickly. The way your throat clenches, it feels as though you're choking on air. Your father is silent, save for the sound of labored breathing. It seems as though neither of you could muster up something to say. 

"...(Y/N)?" "Y-yes, sir?" "I'm sorry...head back to the apartment, okay?" Your previously stopped heart begins to beat again as you understand the implications of his statement. The apartment, not the airport. "You've grown up so much, I trust you to make the right choices for yourself."

So immediately after his outburst, the change in tone gave you whiplash. His voice is tender, the way he always speaks to you, but it wasn't anywhere near as comforting. Had it just been a moment of a lost temper? He says 'I love you' and you're still too choked up to answer. After a pause, there's a click and a monotone, signaling that he hung up.

Your hand falls from your ear to your side, keeping a limp grip on the phone. You lean against the stone wall beside you in an attempt to recompose yourself. It had worked, you guess, he had allowed you to stay. That didn't stop your mind from reeling at the sheer animosity that had taken over his voice. It was hostile, almost animalistic how he had yelled. 

Scanning your surroundings, you realize that you had strayed far off of your path. The phone call must have distracted you so much, you began to wander aimlessly. You let out a tired sigh, beginning to type your address into your GPS. 

"Well, well, well, boys! Looks like we've got a stray kitten here, all alone!"

The voice is masculine, and forcibly so--like that of a high schooler trying to deepen his timbre. You're afraid to look up from your phone. You mentally weighed the possibility of them talking about an actual kitten--or at least just leaving you alone if you ignored them. However, the sound of metal tapping against the wall you were leaning on, inches from your head no less, dispelled every bit of that possibility. 

There are three of them, all varying in body shapes. It was almost comedic how drastically they contrasted one another in height, size, and even hair color. One trait that united them, however, were the bright accents of yellow decorating each of their persons. Gang members. The source of the tapping, you notice, was the metal crowbar in the hands of the shortest member. He's sneering at you in a predatory manner that makes you want to go take a shower. The one who had been talking wasn't him, but the lean blonde. He's way older than his voice implies. He couldn't have been that much older than you, but his jagged features and sunken eyes did little to boost his youth.

He stands closest to you, eyes scanning your frame. You say nothing, cautiously awaiting whatever it is that they wanted from you. In response to your silence, the blonde grunts in confusion, his smirk falling. "What, nothing to say? Eh, that's alright. I'll do most of the talking."

You absolutely despised how much he was invading your personal space. The sensation of his breath fanning against your skin had you clenching your fists. You're only half-listening to what he's saying, zeroing in on the two men behind him in hopes of finding a way out. 

"...and no need to introduce yourself. I know exactly who you are...I gotta say, Heiwajima's got pretty good taste in women." At that, your focus snaps back to him immediately. What on earth did he mean by that? 

"Yo Horada, you sure about this? That dude's gonna be pissed if we fuck with his girl." The tallest of them, a brawny, tan man whispers into 'Horada's' ear. He didn't do that good of a job of keeping his voice down, though. Horada swats the man's face with the back of his hand. 

"Ah, shuddup, willya? That's the point. We throw his girl around a little bit, give 'er a couple of scars. Then he and that pansy colorless gang get the message not to fuck with us."

Your ears are ringing at the word 'scars'. Just what did they want to do to you? Did they really think that you were in a relationship with Shizuo? What did this have to do with the Dollars? A calloused hand runs across your cheek and cradles your chin, mockingly affectionate. You hadn't thought it to be possible, but Horada is even closer now, forcing you to turn your head to the side in an attempt to avoid him.

"'Sides, what kind of man leaves his chick all alone like this? Poor baby, maybe you need a real man to protect ya. Damn, I've always wondered what it's like to be with a forei--!"

You had never punched anyone in your life. As malicious as it sounded, after watching people do it on TV and seeing Shizuo in the act numerous times, you always had an itching inclination to try it. The way he was forcing himself closer to you, saying such awful things, sent that inclination boiling over the edge. Despite being out of practice, the clean contact between your knuckles and his face was immensely satisfying.

His head reels to the side at the force, followed by his neck, his shoulders, his upper body...his legs...his feet...there he goes.

You're shocked at the sight of his entire body flying a few inches. His friends are the same, staring at his crumpled body with gaping mouths. Taking their distraction as an opportunity, you start to book it. However, a large, clammy hand grabs your elbow. You're pulled back into a large, bulky body and you know that it's the tan man. Fight or flight taking over, you reel your free arm forward before elbowing him straight in the ribs. It's a foolish attempt, considering how strong he must be. Your elbow comes in contact with his firm, sturdy torso--and you can feel something snap. Your elbow continues to dig, jabbing into him with little resistance. He let's out a deep grunt and curses.

The grip on your arm loosens. Before you make a break for it, however, you're distracted by the man's coughing fit. He stumbles backward, cradling his chest. After one particularly hard cough, a splash of red appears on the pavement beneath him. Was that....blood...?

It was just you and the man with the crowbar, now, both of you staring at the disarmed forms of the two men. The blonde wasn't moving, most likely unconscious, and it seemed that the tan man was on the way there. Did these guys have health problems or something? Why were they so weak to your feeble attacks?

"You bitch!" The remaining member snaps out of it, waving his crowbar at you threateningly. By the time you've pulled yourself from your thoughts, he's lunging at you. Practically teleporting closer to you in flashes. Your body tenses, scrambling for some sort of counter to the attack, but you're thinking too slowly. The crowbar swings closer and closer to your face, headed for a possibly fatal collision.

However painful that would have been, the sound of metal screeching against metal is pretty excruciating too. The crowbar is suspended in the air, mere centimeters from your face. The one thing keeping it from knocking you out was...a blade? The short man's arms trembled, contrasting the calm, steady hand that brandished the knife. 

Your knees give out, sending you falling to the ground. The crowbar clatters to the ground in front of you, discarded by its wielder. You watch as he stumbles away, leaving the other incapacitated members of his posse behind.

"Looks like you've made quite the commotion." The low voice is muffled to your ears, like a phone call cutting in and out. You muster up the effort to look at the person standing above you, your strength rapidly depleting.

It was that same off-putting smile he had worn the first time you saw him. Eyes narrowed, focused so obviously on you that you knew he couldn't have been looking at anyone else. Seeing such a mischievous expression up close, you can't help but remember a familiar face.

That young twin with the glasses, the one who had said such outrageous, perverted things, had smiled at you the same way.

"Do you...by any chance... have a sis..." Your tongue feels like lead in your mouth, just like the rest of your body. You were suddenly so tired.... Technically, it had been a good 48 hours since you had a normal night of sleep. All you can do is watch as your vision flickers out, trained on the darkly dressed, smiling man above you.

That coat did look even nicer up close.

[offbrand-deltatraveler]

Cure Moonlight surviving was actually such a missed opportunity because imagine if everything to do with the people she’s connected to was just whatever she left behind

Imagine if Yuri’s mother was the one with the story about dealing with the loss of a loved one. Imagine if Tsubomi, Erika, and Itsuki learned about Yuri from Cologne. Imagine if when they fought Coupe at the Precure Palace, it took the form of Cure Moonlight instead. Imagine if they recovered Yuri’s Seed of Precure by defeating Dark Precure and used that for the Super Orchestra

Imagine Cure Flower’s concern upon learning that Tsubomi is the next Precure in the timeline where the last one fucking died

We could’ve had Cure Flower as the sixth ranger and her having to retake the final trial to come to terms with the fact that Yuri’s death wasn’t her fault. We could’ve had Yuri’s mother following the Precure around and trying to learn more about them because she KNOWS they have something to do with her daughter’s death but isn’t sure what it is, leading to her finding the Great Heart Tree and learning what really happened from Cologne

[batbeato]

What is the relationship between witches and their human selves in Umineko? Thinking about that today. (Also has Higurashi spoilers.)

The first thing to look at should be the simplest: Bernkastel. Bernkastel is only associated with one human self, Furude Rika. In Higurashi, Rika is shown to sometimes act as her "witch self": this is her "self" which holds the trauma and knowledge of all of her loops. In Saikoroshi, Rika feels entirely divorced from the human Rika she was meant to be, 'the Rika of this fragment', and feels like she is no longer Rika, but the witch, Bernkastel. Contrast this with the end of Matsuribayashi, where Bernkastel seems like an entirely separate entity to Rika, speaking as though Rika is someone else and going on in the world of Fragments.

We know that Rika is on the "gameboard" in Hinamizawa celebrating her victory with her friends, but the witch-Rika, Bernkastel, is still trapped in the loops/scenario, toying with possibilities - the traumatized part of Rika that was left behind.

Rika embodied and was Bernkastel, and Bernkastel originally was Rika, but ultimately, Rika and Bernkastel have become separate existences. We can see callbacks to Rika in Umineko, like when Bernkastel names her piece "Furudo Erika" (a riff on Furude Rika), and we can see that Bernkastel is still affected by what happened to her as Rika from her response to Erika mentioning it in EP6.

Since I've brought up Bernkastel, I should also discuss Lambdadelta. Thanks to SotsuGou, people primarily associate her with Satoko nowadays, but she actually bears resemblance to two Higurashi characters: Takano and Satoko. For example, her eyes were originally yellow, and she also has a side story showing her interactions with a child who wanted to become a god - Takano. It's also mentioned that she lost a game against Bernkastel in the past (which Takano did, though as of SotsuGou, Satoko has as well). She lays a trap for Bernkastel in another side story, which links her to Satoko, and she has red eyes in other versions of her sprite, which link her again to Satoko.

However, Lambdadelta is never confirmed to have been born from Satoko or Takano, despite her connections to them. I can't really speak further on her relationship with them as human-to-witch-self without assuming one or the other or both.

Then there's Featherine, who seems to be a mixture of Hachijo Tohya and Ikuko. She has Ikuko's appearance, but also uses Tohya's name. As the witch-author of the story, she likely comes from both of them. Her primarily being based off of Ikuko in terms of appearance and personality may arise from Ikuko doing most of the writing, or from something in their relationship (interpersonal or as writers).

However, she often seems to show feelings that may come from Tohya, such as her kindness towards Ange in EP8. And yet, this contrasts her cruelty at the end of EP6/in EP7. This likely comes from her existence being based off of two different people: she is the witch born from the author 'Hachijo Tohya', who is in truth both Tohya and Ikuko. She is a single entity disguising two people.

Featherine's given backstory is that she sleeps for long periods of time, only to be revived by a new story. She is Bernkastel's master who taught her how to "eat meat" (likely, to cannibalize stories for entertainment, rather than being part of a story), and Bernkastel also revived Featherine at one point. Featherine is also connected to Hanyuu by Eua in SotsuGou, who appears to be similar to her. However, there is no known connection between the humans here, only the witches.

This can have various reasons:

The simplest is that Higurashi and Umineko have the same actors in different roles. In Higurashi, Bernkastel may have been born from Rika, but in Umineko, Bernkastel is born from Ikuko's cat, Bern. The links between the two Bernkastels are fun easter eggs without much consequence, and the same goes for any other cross-VN relations or connections. This is also the most boring answer, in my opinion.

Another is that, even if Higurashi and Umineko have both taken place in the same universe, that does not mean that the Hinamizawa and Rokkenjima gameboards exist in the same universe. Higurashi in the world of Umineko might be a story that Ikuko wrote. It is possible that Hanyuu was a character she projected a lot onto, as a woman who was rejected by her community, killed by her husband, and now clinging to the companionship of her descendant, Rika. Ikuko herself was exiled from her family, removed from the outside world, and was very lonely. The story was abandoned, but somehow Bern, her cat, gave her inspiration to finish it: thus Bernkastel the witch, a mixture of her cat and her character, Rika, was born and had saved Featherine. Some other explanation of events may also serve to connect the characters together.

Overall, however, regardless of reasoning, Featherine seems very disconnected from Ikuko and Tohya. Part of this may be due to the additional layer that Featherine is in the story, while Ikuko and Tohya are alive, human writers that exist outside of it.

This is very different to the close, interwoven relationship that Eva and Evatrice have. Evatrice is separate from Eva, but in the sense that Evatrice is Eva's childhood trauma and discarded dreams personified as a witch. They share a body on the gameboard, and are only fully separate in EP8. For them, there is no full separation or denouncing of them as Eva: they are both Eva, just with a focus on different parts of their lives.

I also want to mention Ange: her final transformation into the "witch of the future" at the end of the story coincides with the 'death' of Ange, and her rebirth into Yukari. Ange was a witch, but in order to live on, she is reborn into Yukari who is a 'white witch' and an author that brings happiness to children. She leaves behind her old identity while still carrying the memories of that time (as evidenced by her emotional reunion with Tohya). However, up until this point, Ange as a witch had no separation from Ange as a human. Maria and Battler are similar: they become their witch-selves, with no separate human self remaining (except, in Battler's case as a higher-level witch, for his gameboard/piece self).

...Technically Virgilia is a witch, but she is one made by a fantasy conception of her, rather than Kumasawa's own decision to become a witch. There isn't much of a relationship to be had.

I saved Beatrice for last for a reason.

Some people consider Sayo to have become Beatrice, given the events of the Confession chapters of the manga. However, there is also room to interpret them as similar to Bernkastel and Rika's relationship, where the witch and human were once one, but have since separated.

For example, Beatrice's red truth that the sin Battler committed wasn't against her, as well as her discussion with her piece-self (Sayo) in EP4, promising her that she will take care of everything, may indicate that Beatrice does not feel that she is 1:1 with Yasuda Sayo.

Another thing to consider is Sayo's conception of herself: she speaks of the world as though she is like a director or god, distinct from it. "I'm modifying the world so that Beato is me." "I'm done acting the part of the servant." Sayo herself doesn't appear on the stage: only Beatrice does. Her personas (Beatrice, Kanon, Shannon) are the only versions of herself allowed to appear. She also narrates separately from the trio in EP7 - "Then, Beatrice. From now on, you will carry the bud of love. In other words, the role of being infatuated with Battler and waiting for his return will go to you."

Much like Rika, Sayo embodied Beatrice, considering her to be a secret "witch-self" separate from her "daily-self". However, Sayo did not even consider her "witch-self" to be herself completely, instead speaking of Beatrice in the third person. In that case, where is Sayo, if she is not Beatrice (and certainly not Shannon or Kanon, who are also explicitly created by her)? She refers to "us" (all three personas and herself), indicating that her "true self" is none of the three, but separate.

In that case, with Sayo holding themself to be separate from Beatrice, Shannon, and Kanon, can Beatrice really be said to be Sayo, and Sayo to be Beatrice, rather than the relationship of "Beatrice was once Sayo" that Bernkastel seems to hold with Rika? Is it more of the enmeshed relationship that Eva has with Evatrice? Or is it the disconnected relationship that Featherine, as the author-avatar, has with Ikuko and Tohya?

If we go by Confession's depiction, Sayo's truest self is Beatrice, as she becomes her within the catbox and acts out the role of Beatrice. But if we go by EP7, Sayo doesn't seem to align with any of her personas as a truest self, even Beatrice. All three of them are acknowledged as separate from Sayo, which fits with all three of them existing separately within the catbox. Sayo did not directly or fully "become" any of the three, so all three hold equal status as 'furniture' that need a soul to become real and to be loved (see: the EP6 love duel).

Since the two depictions appear to conflict, I would say that both of them (and all others on this spectrum) should be permitted in the catbox.

Witches seem to have varying relationships with their human forms. Are they cocoons they were nurtured in and they left, or are their human selves still an important of them, witch and human interlinked? Or do they distinguish themselves so much from their human forms that the connection is difficult to see? However, their human selves always shape their past and who they are now. There is no fully severing the connection between reality and fantasy.

[misarem]

Umineko Episode 6 Thoughts or Where I Actually Lock In

Okay so im cursing myself at how long its been since the last one. After making it thru ep 6 i got to the end not feeling that.. elucidated on the whole thing even tho everyone says ep 6 is like the final stop biggest hint youre going to get on this mystery. Which genuinely left me feeling kinda sad and a bit stupid lmao. I could not tell what I wasn’t getting and the phrase “without love, it cannot be seen” being waved in front of my face did not help like I was being TAUNTED. To the point where I found groups that were into the game and actually talked through my ideas, refined my thoughts, looked back on many MANY parts of the story and slowly I’ve come to a conclusion I’m actually sorta confident in. So! After so long i think its time for me to take my sherlock hat off and just keep going with this game. But not before my little journal on this absolutely ridiculous but amazing episode. Spoilers below for the episode itself and what i think the answer to the central mystery of the entire game is which I will be immediately going into before talking abt some other points as well as Erika again because I'm contractually obligated to. this will be a longer one

So after everything. After butting my head against the wall every time Zepar and Furfur told me without love it can’t be seen. After pouring over text LPs and reading this episode twice and having people help refine my thoughts. What I think happened was. 1967. November 29th. A baby is born on Rokkenjima and taken in by Kinzo Ushiromiya, still deep in his mourning of the Golden Witch Beatrice. As this baby grows up, Kinzo shapes their identity under his upbringing and they grow up with a very stunted sense of self. EIther as some sort of disguise or to give themselves more fulfillment, they assume the identity of a young maid named Shannon and a younger servant named Kanon. This helps them navigate their life on Rokkenjima fine until the larger Ushiromiya family enters the picture, specifically Battler, Jessica and George, whose love for them begins to pull their identity apart. After a conversation with a 12 year old Battler about the kind of woman he likes, and getting even closer with George and Jessica in the years after, this person is at a crossroads on whos wishes get to be fulfilled: Shannon’s, Kanon’s, or Beatrice’s, and this all comes to a head on October 4th, 1986, where they facilitate a series of murders as an internal competition and as a demonstration to the person who affected them the most: Battler Ushiromiya.

….I THINK. I didn’t have the epiphany I thought I would have, more like a slow slow realization when I began to piece together the early-suggested possibility that Shannon was behind the appearances of Beatrice that Maria sees, the weird status of Kanon’s body at the end of almost every twilight, how Kanon had to bail Battler out in the first place, and the Love Duel itself, Shannon, Kanon and Beatrice all being on equal footing within it, and why Shannon and Kanon’s (and Beatrice’s) love had to be mutually exclusive in the first place. Plus more little details like the 19 paces coinciding with the perceived 19 people on the island (family + Beato) and the 19 years since the master of the game had been born, the narration and several characters like Featherine saying that the solution to the previous question or to the logic error could be the key to the whole mystery and is a part of Beato’s heart (her identity). George’s reminiscence of Battler and Shannon as a 12 year old with Beato’s own reminiscence of it coinciding with it. The fact that Battler has literally never seen Kanon and Shannon in the same room and the mystery of how Battler saw Beatrice after the murders of the fourth game. But I think that Shannon, Kanon, and Beatrice are all identities of one person, the 16th person after subtracting Kinzo, Kanon and Shannon from the initial 18, and that their disguises and faked deaths are the key to solving not just the logic error room, but the entire game and magic as a whole. Granted I don’t have *everything* figured out with this yet but I feel like I have my foot in the door finally.

Just starting with the logic error room, we know that Erika and Kanon entered and Batler left, the chain was reset when Erika entered, yet by the end of Erika’s search, Kanon was nowhere in the guestroom. Airtight locked room murder, practically no way to get out of this one, at least through the door. And for good measure, Hideyoshi, George, Nanjo, Kumasawa and Shanon are in the next room over while *everyone else* is in the cousins’ room, and during the escape, the seals to the doors of these rooms are intact. Genuinely the only in that I had on this one at first was the “everyone else” wording with Kanon’s status as furniture as my teeny little screwdriver I was trying to pry this thing open with. Of course the furniture thing is mostly a metaphor for the crested servants’ character arcs, and Genji is considered a person who would be included as “everyone else” but it was a start. Incidentally, my attempts before this episode had me reassessing the idea that Shannon could have disguised herself as Beatrice for Maria from the earlier episodes, and it was like I needed something to bridge these two ideas. And the fact of Kanon coming to save Battler being confirmed in red makes it seem useless to try to figure out how he got out of the cousins' room, but figuring that out was an important first step to my reasoning, as it helped me begin forming the idea that, somehow, to have been out of the cousin’s room, he would have had to be somehow less than one, to not be his own person, to not be included in “everyone else”. And taking this to the guestroom, it eventually dawned on me that, if *he* wasn’t his own person, and his love for Jessica couldn’t exist if Shannon was going to be with George, then maybe these two got in the way of each other because they were the same person, and if this was true, Kanon could escape the guestroom by discarding the disguised and identity of ‘Kanon’, removing him from the guestroom, since it was never specified that nobody was in there, only that Kanon wasn’t. ‘Shannon’ in the next room over could have gotten out through the window, since the status of the seals on the window is a hole that is pointed out in the episode, but Dlanor forbids it from being used, I think because bringing it up without solving Kanon’s identity would be solving the mystery incorrectly or at least out of order.

From here, you can take this to many of the other murders in Question arcs. I think I pointed out that Shannon’s body was hidden from George by Hideyoshi in episode 1, but rereading made me realize that not only had Battler not properly seen it either, but if Kanon was at the scene too, following my theory, the body could not have been Shannon’s. Whose it was I’m not sure. If Kumasawa got into her closet for this that would be funny. If they had a body prepared then sure. But this in conjunction with Kanon’s death not being seen by Battler later leaves this person without the identity of Shannon OR Kanon, free to run around the mansion murdering as they please. Even better if they are prepared to disguise as Beatrice as well, as this would have allowed them to have Maria turn around so they could kill Genji, Nanjo, and Kumasawa without harming her, and when the 4 others would come in and investigate, this person would slip out and kill Natsuhi. For Eva and Hideyoshi, since it was Kanon (and Genji who came upon the crime scene), I think it’s possible that the chain being locked was a lie on Genji and Kanon’s part.

As we know in Episode 2, Kanon’s corpse disappears after his death to the confusion of almost everyone, but this is because the body, as Shannon, is in Kinzo’s study “informing him of the murders” which after learning of Kinzo’s pre-game death means she can be doing whatever she wants. Since Kanon never shows up again, she operates as she needs to until she dies with George and Gohda. I think Shannon struggled with killing both of them. It seemed like there was a genuine struggle to even get the door open and overpower George and Gohda, so her and George could have killed each other, or she kills herself after killing George in mourning, because the final twilight is complete, or because she believes Genji or Rosa will take care of the rest. If Shannon was alive, Rosa stopping Battler from disturbing the body and then chasing everyone out would work for that, but Battler also witnesses like, the viscera of her head spilling out of the hole in it, which could constitute as a body check..? Maybe there’s some fuckery with how this Shannon looks to us and to the people inside the story, and that’s how she bypasses Battler’s body check? idk this one isn’t so solid but Kanon’s missing body is so damning to me. Battler does see Beato and Kinzo at the end and this could have been the culprit as Beato. Battler doesn’t get a good look at her and only sees Kinzo’s back as well. And the magic stuff at the end of every episode in my interpretation is Battler having died and the anti-magic, objective perspective being removed. So idk still working on that one lmao

The biggest thing for Episode 3 is the locked room chain, and having two of the servants being assumed identities really helps. Kanon’s body is ‘found’ in the chapel, a very remote part of the island, so his body is hard to confirm. On the other hand, Shannon is ‘found’ in the parlor, the easiest room to operate from and one that the adults were likely to break the locked room status of by shattering the window. Because Battler sees none of these bodies, the true nature of Shannon and Kanon's status is never confirmed, and it can be assumed that the culprit, having (momentarily) discarded Kanon and Shannon, once again has free reign over the mansion. This comes into play after Eva’s murders take the group into the mansion, starting with Rosa and Maria’s deaths as its unlikely the culprit would kill Maria this early. Kyrie kills Hideyoshi here, briefly surviving a shot to the stomach and either trying to hit Eva or retaliating against her where it would hurt (unwittingly damning her own daughter so yknow that’s not horrible at all). Back when I was a Kyrietrice truther (how I miss those days) I thought she survived much longer and killed George and Nanjo, but it turns out Battler checking her corpse in the metaworld means that Battler confirmed her death in the game too so bleh. But I think the culprit killed George and laid him in the parlor, possibly leading him in as Shannon. From here I think she writes the 8 digit code, plays dead as the survivors come in and while they’re distracted (Eva, Jessica and Nanjo are caught up in a fight while Battler overtly is checked out of the situation, not looking closely at the corpses at all), she sneaks out, only to be caught and shot at by Eva, which is what blinds Jessica. The shot isn’t immediately fatal but ‘Shannon’ is bleeding out fast and before she dies, she finds and kills Nanjo, “revives” Kanon, as Beatrice puts it, and leads Jessica out to where they will rest for the remainder of the game.

Chapter 4 is weird, it feels impossible to substantiate anything concrete when the whole island is a huge catbox to Battler, cooped up in the guest house, until after almost all of the murders are committed. WIth Shannon/Kanon in the dining hall with everyone, the best I can work out right now is the first six are shot down by them, the rest escape but are killed as well, at some point in between the 8th and 10th killings, ‘Kanon’ is discarded, making him the ‘9th death’, George and Jessica are killed, not before Jessica sees the dead bodies, is chased to her room and works out that if she gets caught, she’ll probably end up like the rest of them, which she tells Battler. At some point, Kyrie manages to get to a phone and call Battler before being killed. The most concrete thing I can deduce is that the hostage group was potentially never in the dungeon, the status of the dungeon’s existence in that space being up in the air, Kanon’s body is not at the bottom of the well that Battler cannot access, when Beatrice shows up to Battler at the end of the 4th and is spurned by Battler not remembering his sin, she finds a way to die as Shannon and be found.

Very hazy still obviously but idk how else Kanon escapes. Honestly "these clues and circumstances make one body unaccounted for so they can go do whatever" feels sorta cheap which makes me second guess all of this, obv theres some tricks to the locked rooms themselves still but I didn't anticipate that one possible theory would clear up so much. And I don't know why Jessica and George are killed either, sure their love is complicated for a reason but it makes me curious what conditions the culprit has to put themselves in to be able to kill them. This also relies on the cooperation of some adults and Nanjo. Even tho I believe he’s nice I think Nanjo isn’t difficult considering he lies about Kinzo’s death for so long, and I feel like it wouldn’t be.. too hard to get any of the adults in on it if related to the inheritance? They do all need a lot of money right now. I still think some of Eva and Hideyoshi’s ep 1 behaviors are suspicious and it would be really funny and interesting if Kyrie was fuckin shit up. To me. 

Overall if this is what the twist is, I think it's neat since Kanon and Shannon have been among my favorites from the beginning and the idea of them being so closely tied to the thematic core of the story is exciting. My idea of magic is so heavily informed by Ange’s story, it makes me wonder, since the Beato we saw in 67 seemed to live in a great deal of emotional neglect, neglect of her own self rather than of “Beatrice” (probably her mother lol), if this culprit is the same in that she was born from Kinzo and a Beato, likely the 67 one, and their personhood was ignored for the sake of Kinzo having Beato again, maybe “Shannon” and “Kanon” are similar to how Maria summons Sakutaro or Ange summons the sisters, and she summons the servants as a way of enriching her sense of self? Would be sort of interesting but it also feels like its crossing over into like DID territory and after playing like 2 danganronpa games worth of poorly handled stuff like that I dont know. I do kinda feel sad for Jessica not really getting to be with Kanon. They constantly get the short end of the stick, obviously because their love hasn’t developed like George and Shannon’s did over the past few years or even how Battler and Beatrice’s did over the past 5 games, but their love is so full of potential, and I love both of them so much. I’d love to just see them happy together but its not Jessica’s fate sadly lmao.

If we’re to believe that it was Battler’s sin that influenced all of this, I do find it to be really interesting how Battler tends to parallel Kinzo, as another extension of the idea that Kinzo keeps this very harrowing grip on all aspects of Beatrice’s/the culprit’s life. That Battler echos Kinzo’s yearning for the old Beatrice isn’t even solely tragic for Battler’s situation, it also has a lot of terrible implications for what we haven’t seen of Kinzo yet, if Battler’s projection of Beatrice as his former lover onto a girl who sees him as her father is any indication of what Kinzo was like. At the very least, I still love Battler and I think he differs from Kinzo by holding onto the love he had for his family. Even after six games, he’s still just as disgusted at the murders, especially so here, and the portrayal of the mothers of the Ushiromiya family in Battler’s game shows that Battler’s capable of a great deal of reflection and understanding, something that’s hard to believe Kinzo was ever willing to offer. For the sin itself it feels like it’s between Battler being like his grandfather, him neglecting the culprit in some way or him denying magic to her and by extension, her way of like and her worldview, like what we saw with young Ange and Maria.

My last thought on this theory is that it makes so much of the love game in ep6, specifically Zepar and Furfur’s commentary, incredibly funny with how on the nose it is, and shifting from the perspective of the elder Beato who doesn’t get it to that of Kanon and Shannon who are painfully aware, is very eye opening to how heavy handed their dialogue is. Yet another moment of the writers desperately trying to guide you to the heart of the mystery which is comforting as a staple of this whole story. 

Looking back at the last post, it is funny how little I had to say about Erika Furudo then. She’s like my second favorite character now, as horrible as she is, and everything she does is in line with how she acted in ep5 (with one caveat we’ll get to), but just way more severe and like mask off about her cold-hearted rejection of emotional truths and desire for complete domination and control of what is accepted as the objective truth which is. very entertaining! Obviously saying a ton about the more clinical, quote unquote “intellectual” camps of mystery readers and writers and about how objective truth really is, which is all incredibly important to understanding the overall mystery, almost like a what not to do when playing Umineko.

But just focusing on Erika herself, she just feels so steeped in every detective trope you’ve ever heard of, and in a story that takes the time to build such nuanced dynamics and relationships between characters, the way she operates can be so two-dimensional it’s actually delightful to watch. Even when she’s given a backstory, it almost feels pre-packaged and thrown in to hastily give her depth and personal relation to truth on a conceptual level, as she is a detective, altho I don’t know if it’s completely hollow. Her back and forth with Dlanor is neat and her final response to it is an early tell that her refusal to recognize the emotions behind people’s truths is a fatal flaw of hers, probably caused by her falling out with her boyfriend. And with the whole game trusting you to see the emotions in everything and to not be cold and clinical in your assessment of the story, I can’t wholly believe she’s completely flat as a character, altho the commentary is still very unsubtle so idk fully. It’s not like bullshit characters can’t be meaningful, and I think there is a level of tragedy in the way she was fashioned on the game board as Bernkastel’s piece, trapped in the position of servitude to Bern, constantly emulating her callousness and seeking her approval, as if she’s like an author insert begging not to be removed by the author herself. 

Like I said, she exhibits almost all the same behaviors she did in the last episode, just more brutally here. It’s almost like after failing to beat Battler at the end of episode 5, she’s trying to prove with everything she has that she really is a completely deplorable person, which she does when she fucking kills 5 people in what was supposed to be a non-tragic game, and she does this using the one thing that makes her different from last time: her lack of detective authority. Not only is is a cool trick that runs alongside her casting off the image of a noble seeker of the truth so she can debase herself in order to chase down a more twisted conclusion, it speaks a lot to her own capabilities that even without the privileges of a detective in a classic mystery story, she’s still able to bend the Ushiromiya family to her will and think miles ahead of Battler, making her all the more terrifying. Another thing that makes her different here is that she’s not just trying to solve the murders anymore, she is actively trying to catch Battler in a logic error, trapping him in the broken rules of his own game forever, and once she convinces him to give her seals to a few of the rooms, she does this incredibly easily, guiding Battler to his own damnation in what is, in my opinion, the best battle between the human side and witch side in the entire game thus far. It is absolutely fucking insane the lengths Erika goes to in order to completely destroy Battler. Her command of the game from the very start as if she had planned every mode both of them were going to make is just diabolical and after being a bit desensitized after the past 5 chapters of killings, her BEHEADING five people including a mom in front of her 9 year old daughter just to fuck up Battler’s game genuinely made me sick. And this is all heightened by how well written, translated, and voiced Erika is throughout the entire chapter. Before I got into Umineko, I’d seen videos of the <OH VERY GOOD> scene completely out of context, and slowly I was drawn into wanting to play the game by the voice acting, the incredible music and tantalizingly rich atmosphere that I would have readily indulged in a full game of. But knowing the context of the scene now, how it acts as the final nail in the coffin of Battler and as the peak of Erika’s twisted level of ecstasy as she gleefully destroys this family, not just for domination of the truth but for the joy of revenge against Battler for denying her that ecstasy in the last game. It is just such an incredibly gripping stretch of scenes so fucking good oh my god.

All of this leads to the wedding of Erika and Battler, which really is the most deplorable action of Erika’s in this whole episode. Just the most disgusting subtext going on here that if you’ve read the novel I don’t even have to spell out. Just the depths she plummets to so she can exercise complete control over Battler. In stark contrast to the way Beatrice let Battler into her game, granting him the tools to understand her and to shed light on the mystery of her existence, finally granting her fulfillment, Erika is an intruder into Battler’s game in every sense of the word, and it’s Bern that created this monster in the first place to further toy with the lives of the Ushiromiya family, not completely different from how it was Kinzo's upbringing that made the adults of the Ushiromiya family who they were, leading to how theyr raised their own kids. Luckily Beatrice is the one who steps in at the last moment to save Battler here, exposing the one thing Erika cannot control: the emotions that are inherent to the facts of the murders. She cannot fathom that the solution to the murder isn’t some one million iq 4D chess move of Beatrice's and after an epiphany about the nature of multiple truths that not only feels kinda fake but is something Battler had come to 3 whole episodes ago with Virgilia and the Braun tubes, Beatrice and Battler’s final red truth shoots her down. Troll officially slayed don't be like Erika Furudo kids. Also there’s only 16 people on the island now! Hopefully you paid attention to Zepar and Furfur earlier. It is actually a funny wink wink nudge nudge that Beatrice entering the chapel to save Battler from the marriage runs parallel to Kanon entering the guest room. As if Ryukishi isnt already on his hands and knees tears in his eyes screaming and begging and groveling for the reader to understand whats going on here.

But yea Erika is a fascinating case study on the nature of truth, its objectivity and how it should be pursued. “True” does not always equal “right”, and the pursuit of objectivity can do immeasurable and irrevocable harm to innocent people just trying to find happiness in their own lives. I didn’t even mention her beefing with a literal 9 year old over a beginner magic trick, but it's clear here that her values run opposite to the games and the writers have a very very fun time criticizing those values through her. I learned this from a YouTube comment but apparently in some WTC bonus material, Rika from Higurashi mentions deep sea fish as omens of misfortune, which absolutely evokes the image of Erika washing up on the shores of Rokkenjima, foreshadowing the ensuing disaster. But after everything, as astute as she is as a riddle solver, she really has not even gotten out of the shallow end in terms of what the heart of a mystery really is, how trauma makes people act and why people are even driven to do the things that they do, ultimately looking like a fish out of water against this very magical setting. Get it like solitary deep sea fish honk honk

Other thoughts. I’m so happy to see Ange again! If the meta aspects of this story weren’t obvious enough, her and Hachijo/Featherine have the most overt reader/author relationship, and it’s funny how Ange’s risen to Battler’s status of reader insert but in a different way. Battler and Beatrice have a combative, opposing relationship but the way she presents the murders to Battler and beckons him to figure them out very much reflects the writers’ desire for the reader to recognize their fiction. On the outside, it seems tricky but is actually very nurturing. Now, this late in the story, Ange and Featherine have a much more outwardly respectful relationship, likened to a miko and her guardian, although there is a little seedling of toughness that Featherine seems to hold for Ange, probably because of the latter’s stubbornness about some aspects of the story, with Ange also harboring contempt for Featherine sensationalizing her trauma with the message bottles. Funny inversion with Battler and I like the continued commentary on true crime. I also think Ange’s pursuit of the truth and trouble with emotions as Featherine’s reader slightly echoes Bern’s other piece, Erika, although to a much, and I cannot stress that Ange is not anywhere near as flawed as Erika, MUCH lesser extent, and Ange clearly has a higher chance of actually coming to an understanding at the end of the episode, plus its more understanding of Ange to want some power over the narrative as someone whose life was nearly ruined by it, rather than a piece who was just dropped in without any other relation to the Ushiromiya’s, despite being at the mercy of her master. Hate M Zakky guy plotting to kill her at the end altho I figured he sniped those Sumadera henchmen for her earlier and its not surprising but. le sigh

And because you know I have to always bring up Kyrie. That scene with her and Jessica was. Amazing. When Jessica's eyes glazed over and prison strip started playing I lost my mind. Genuinely such a compelling backstory for Kyrie and I love Jessica’s challenge to it, and her finishing line that, as much as Kyrie has been both empowered and terrorized by her jealousy, it does not make her a noble person, and this idea that trauma doesn’t automatically make you virtuous, I believe, will probably be very pertinent to the ultimate mysteries of the story. Besides that, one detail I caught is Kyrie talking about having worked up the nerve to kill Asumu over many many years, and she calls it a miracle that some other force took her the moment that she would have. Earlier this episode, and it’s been echoed in the previous ones, Featherine mentions that magic, as something limited by human ability, is the power to follow through with or get away with it. It really makes me think that. Kyrie could have just. Killed Asumu and is using magic to exonerate herself fdsfdsfds. I mean I’m always biased to my idea of murderer bastard Kyrie and the mountain of circumstantial evidence I thought I had with that and I do think its really funny!!! That she’s the only adult who seems to know how to handle the WInchesters well enough to do it one handed in her cg AND her portrait (og and pachinko not ps3). But hey idk. Every time she makes that closed eyes open mouth portrait it makes me think that she might not be any more savvy than the other adults about whats going on so

Overall probably my favorite episode so far! It's like 6 > 4 = 3 > 1 = 2= 5. Similar to 4, it's not consistently the strongest but it has some of the highest highs and that's really what makes a piece of writing for me sometimes. And now that I'm on the cusp of the answers of the """answer""" arcs, I'm very excited for my personal documentation of my experiences with the game to pay off