#the pens out for delivery right now tho :]

[btranwrites]

Deal

a Han Vu short a gay Lovecraftian urban fantasy/horror short story

In a bid to help an unexpected influx of patients, Han accepts an unusual request, not knowing the depths he’s signing up for. …He couldn’t remember the last time he did any of those; they all sounded theoretical to him now. His life was more artificially lit, chemically power-cleansed, with questionable contacts and company. What did he know of life untainted anymore? How much of what he did was healing, how much actually undiagnosed contamination? …All the enchanting words, smiles and winks and gentle laughter, served by a face that could make angels blush and a voice potent enough to make them beg to be fucked, all deployed with surgical, devastating precision, along with extensive legal power to cement and secure all grounds gained. …He wanted to laugh, he wanted to scream, it never left him, it never would. As long as he walked this path, the destination was inevitable. Who was he to challenge a fate penned by the stars?

Full story under the cut, or read on my website! (it has better formatting)

I.

[32://sewdoc/video/7963][opened]

Today, 10:02am

I can't believe that it can actually move on its own

They told me you can literally make anything and I'm a believer now

Can you make it like

squeeze and squirt stuff too

and make it warm

sorry my budget is maxed out tho

no

also make it fit this

[32://w0rmwh0l/photo/59]

You blocked @32:w0rmwh0l

~~~

Today, 11:43am

Hi, are we proceeding with this project?

It's an interesting brief with reasonable costing and I have plenty of experience creating artificial motorised limbs.

You can check out this recent delivery [here][112://sewdoc/post/8011], may be of interest to you.

Sorry but I changed my mind.

Right. Let me know if you're interested again.

~~~

Today, 1:29pm

Perfect! When can you start?

Great! If you can make a 20% deposit I can start the work straight away

I'll make the deposit upon receipt of the product.

The listing explicitly says deposit is required before start of work

And I'd said so when we started talking

@754:mill_fort_ blocked you

We can negotiate a lower amount if it helps?

Message not delivered

~~~

Today, 1:32pm

We need to run the numbers

no

You blocked @local:simon

You unblocked @local:simon

wait hey simon

sorry

crossed wires

ok im coming

~~~

Han slid close the curtain on the two cots set up against one perpetually stained wall in his office, gently making his way back to the desk from the sleeping teenagers. Simon had spread some unthreatening sheets on the desk next to his computer, white brows resting unstressed on his forehead, wrinkles uncreased, fingers pecking at the calculator at a stable pace. It couldn't be that bad.

"We have two more weeks before our funds run out," Simon said before Han could set his damn ass down on the chair, which creaked with violence. He managed not to fall on his face.

"What do you want me to do, Simon? Turn them away? The entire point of this Clinic is to do exactly not that!"

Simon turned a page, unperturbed. "We have two more weeks before our funds run out."

"The psychologist is helping out! With her on board along with Max, the sewers are actually turning into quite a healing place, don't you think? Can you imagine if influencers knew about this? Come ye and find restoration in this wretched place! See the forsaken dark beneath the city where–"

"Uh huh. Yep. Sure. We have two more weeks before our funds run out. Ok you better have got my point so I can stop repeating myself. And what else did you tell me just this morning?"

Han thudded his head against the desk. "That only more people are coming seeking treatment from the fallout at the forge."

Silence. He sneaked an eye at the old man, whose brows raised, expectant.

He rolled his eyes. "And since we have not a clue on why and how they're broken the way they are, the culprit is unsolved and they won't stop coming for the foreseeable future."

Simon nodded. "Good boy."

He leaned back in his chair and yelled at the ceiling, "FUCK CLIENTS!!!", only to remember the sleeping children and shut up. He mumbled instead. "The ones I want don't want me, and the ones after me need thorough spiking then thrown to the mud."

Simon stood up, patting his shoulders, and offered Han a pitiful sigh. "We have two more weeks before our funds run out." He scooped up the sheets and the calculator, leaving Han alone in his office with the children he must have woken up, who were too well-mannered to comment on his outburst.

He glared at the computer. To his utter frustration, it sat innocently and didn't do anything to him.

Deflated and defeated, Han nudged it awake, and sludged himself back onto the Market.

II.

Today, 01:08am

Hello, Sewer Doctor. Your reputation precedes you, and from your gallery, and having personally verified a few of your testimonials, I believe you can assist me with a discrete and extensive project. It involves artificial human organs.

For confidentiality, I prefer to discuss details for such matters in person and in a secure, trusted location. I understand that this is asking a lot from you, as it can potentially compromise your identity, nor have you any basis to trust me.

As an expedited effort on my part to smooth out these obstacles, please accept this gesture of goodwill, no strings attached.

[301://Wander/transaction/1][opened]

Should this be sufficient to pique your interest, please let me know. I look forward to us commencing business.

Today, 09:24am

You accepted connection request from @301:Wander

~~~

The square wasn't that big, though still enough to frame a central water fountain, should someone with photographic inclinations decide to take a snap. Han sat on a table for two by himself and an empty cup of black coffee, flicking through a thin book on biofluid dynamics, his head not registering anything. There were a few other stragglers at other tables in the coffee shop with their drinks and bagels, and the square was busy enough.

Han left the sewers from time to time, though never to sit somewhere and just… be. A day out on the beach? Picnics? Hiking? He couldn't remember the last time he did any of those; they all sounded theoretical to him now. His life was more artificially lit, chemically power-cleansed, with questionable contacts and company. What did he know of life untainted anymore? How much of what he did was healing, how much actually undiagnosed contamination?

It was nice enough every now and then, these occasional sunlight hours. If not as participant, then a spectator. A distant witness.

He almost missed the sleek black limousine that slithered up to the sidewalk on the edge of the square, almost a hundred metres away. A man clad in a black suit, with matching tie and shades, walked out of the driver's seat and stopped in front of the passenger's door. His arms crossed, holding against his chest a vanilla envelope with a red marking on it.

Han kept flicking through his book. The man in black stood where he was.

He gathered his things and stood, blending into the crowd, closing the distance. The marking on the envelope read simply, 'W.'

Han approached the man, who made eye contact with him, but stood still exactly as he was. About ten metres away, Han stopped, and got out from his coat a vanilla envelope of his own, on which he wrote with a red marker, 'SD.'

Han took out the single sheet of paper inside his envelope, as the man in black did the same. They revealed to each other the same printed screenshot of the conversation he had with @301:Wander, except from the other person's view.

Seemingly satisfied, the man in black did a slight nod. "Afternoon, Doctor." He folded the sheet back into the 'W' envelope, but not before taking out a smaller piece of paper, and handed both to Han.

Han took the envelope, offering his, which the man in black took and slipped inside his vest, who stepped aside and opened the limousine's door.

The smaller piece of paper was a Market cheque, bearing the same amount as the 'goodwill' 'greeting' transaction.

Each was as much as he could make with a dozen sales.

Fucking rich bastards.

Han got in the car. Worst-case scenario, he could trash this entire fancy-ass of a show-off vehicle with literal extraterrestrial mud.

~~~

Han was driven through the streets, which were getting busier closer to rush hours, and thinning out as they got to the outskirts of Payne Town.

Han saw wild, tall trees, a façade obscuring elaborate mansion after mansion, all with expansive, designed lawns, their muted, tastefully simple architecture shouted the same statement their size did of their owners' place in the City. Fucking rich bastards.

Han got out of the limousine, where the man in black whose name still wasn't given to him stood once again with arms crossed, next to a similarly mute limousine door, instructed him to just take the path to the front of one of those mansions. Through the gated fences, marble whites mixed with manicured hedge greens, both blurred together as he walked on stone and grass, a little intimidated, to yet another door made of black wood and intricate gold details, a substantial metallic knocker in the middle.

Han reached for the knocker and thudded it against the final barrier to this lair unknown.

Han waited as seconds passed, not sure what to expect.

Han tried his best not to bolt when his past greeted him, his mind a spiral cursing at itself for not placing the name that screamed at him from the Market chat.

Marcus Wander stood on the other side of the threshold, framed central to the black and golden gateway, looking just as surprised.

Marcus Anthony Wander, former chief financial officer of Payne Town Medical Centre of Excellence, or just Payne Town New Hospital for everyday peasants.

Marc, his former lover.

III.

"So this is what you've been up to since you left the hospital and vanished off the face of the earth."

Marc was pouring steaming, dark tea off a stainless steel pot with a fucking lit LCD on it, from a somehow wireless base set on a marbled counter devoid of anything else other than tea bags and coffee packets, sorted into two wooden racks. The room itself was just as sparsely furnished, though Han suspected it was more from upper-class taste than affordability. There was a sofa set as big as four beds, no doubt genuine and premium leather, a TV he could fucking jump into, almost a wall of hardcover books, some fucking glinted, while sculptures, paintings, and exotic plants lined the rest of the space.

This space alone could house and finance entire families, or provide care for so, so many people.

But then again, it must have paid real well, all the loopholes and obscure gotchas the peasantry was defenceless against. The web of wealth and power Marc danced and strung better than the spiders that wove it. All the enchanting words, smiles and winks and gentle laughter, served by a face that could make angels blush and a voice potent enough to make them beg to be fucked, all deployed with surgical, devastating precision, along with extensive legal power to cement and secure all grounds gained.

Marcus Anthony Wander chiefed the financial battlefields without rival and without mercy, and those on top now were there simply because the man allowed it, or fortunate enough for him to deem unworthy of subjugation.

Though… it got Han here, didn't it?

"Yeah, it's not too bad," Han said. Marc set a cup of black tea in front of him, and settled on a seat a few paces to his right. "Kinda difficult at times, but I'm doing what I believe in. Yourself? Bought any conglomerates lately?"

Marc laughed. "Ah, one or two, maybe. You kept tabs on me, huh? I was still at the Hospital when you left, no portfolio then."

Han frowned. Marc went on unfazed. "Yeah, business's good, some are working on some really interesting tech that makes good money. I'm kinda retired these days, though. Travelling, taking up fencing again, you know, just enjoying life. It's not too bad."

Han reached for the cup of tea and took a sip. He didn't drink tea anymore, having switched to long black years and years ago, after he left the hospital and started the Clinic. But before that, he loved oolong. It was flavourful yet light, sufficient for college times.

Marc hated it.

Game pieces were already being laid around him.

He put down the cup of tea and put on a smile. Customer service smile, Samantha called it. "That's good to hear, Marc, happy that life is good for you. Now let's get onto business."

Marc leaned back in his seat. "To be honest, I did not expect the Sewer Doctor to be you, but in hindsight, it makes sense, given your skills."

"What do you want, Marc? You said artificial organs. You planning to farm them or something?"

The man reached for the coffee table before them and dragged out from the table leg a small drawer thin enough for just a folder or two, engineered for that single purpose. Marc retrieved, indeed, a clear folder from the compartment, then closed it, sliding the document over to Han. He picked it up.

It listed the bank details of dozens of accounts and stock portfolios, along with their balances and linking details to the Market. They had enough zeroes to run the Clinic for years.

Christ, he needed to punch something. "I get that you're richer than God, but what's your point?"

"These are the funds available for your use to deliver what I want you to do. Once that's done and I deem the results satisfactory, you're entitled to all remaining amounts. I trust your credibility to not cheap out, that you will use the best materials available as required."

He blinked.

And with a deep, wary breath, "and what exactly do you need me to do?"

Marc looked uncertain. It was a rare sight. In fact, Han couldn't remember Marc looking anything but certain.

"Can I trust you?"

Han laughed. "Dude. You have my identity on the Market, my fingerprint on the envelope, and more than enough dirt and money on me to lawyer my ass into jail forever."

"You didn't answer my question."

He clenched his jaws. "It makes no business sense to rat out your own customer when the entire platform relies on confidentiality."

"You still didn't answer my question."

"Our history cannot afford that."

Marc opened his mouth, but closed it. "Very well. I want a body restored."

It was a flash of devastation, a gliding of great beasts beneath false waters. It was the way Marc stood and walked away, the "follow me" a mere ghost whose veneer of bravado was collapsing. It's not too bad, he said.

Oh no.

IV.

He followed Marc into a climate controlled room in the basement. It was a clean, brightly lit though windowless bedroom, with mostly modern décor except for an older bookshelf.

At the centre of the room was a plain double bed, and a single body laid on it. Han thought body, yet it looked like a naked man sleeping.

It was Cameron. Marc's husband, who died in an occult incident with his innards harvested and his head destroyed. The head that Han reconstructed. Something he offered to do when he learned the news from Maxine, who ran the city's funeral home. A secret gift for Marc. The least he could do, he thought. After all, they loved each other once.

He stayed calm. He knew how to act so. "So, this is the body."

Marc looked transfixed on the body, moving in closer. He brushed the back of his fingers against a thigh, featherlight. "Yes. This is Cam. My husband. He passed away a few months back."

Han inched closer to the bed. The body… was pale. Purple, but hard to see so under the bright lights.

Marc was sitting on the bed, fingers tracing the head's cheeks. "I just… I want him whole. Not whatever's stuffing inside."

There were the stitches, where he pasted the face together, and the base of the neck, though Maxine did a superb job.

"I want him buried with perfect organs."

Even so, it was months ago. This should not be here. It should not be in this state. It should have decayed a lot more, a lot worse.

"Make him whole, for my sake."

"Marc," Han said finally. "Organs stay with the body after embalming."

"And?"

Han said nothing.

"You know how he died, don't you? Han, did you have something to do with this?"

He took a deep breath. It smelled clean. No. Sanitised. "I helped Maxine rebuild the body."

Marc looked at him, a wordless eternity. Then he turned back to Cameron, fingers ghosting over dead lips. "Thank you."

"Marc, what's going on? I'm sorry, but… the funeral was almost half a year ago. The body… shouldn't be… here. Or… look like this."

Han was on the other side of the bed now, across from Marc, who was cradling Cam in his lap. He extended a tentative finger, and touched the body.

It was warm.

He immediately went for the wrist.

A pulse.

There wasn't a heart. The veins themselves fucking boiled away somehow. There physically could not be a pulse.

"Marc," Han said, not bothering to hide his panic anymore. "What's going on?"

"A miracle, is it not?" Marc laughed, though it was a wet, broken sound. "He's coming back. He's coming back to me, and everything will be right again."

Han felt like his head was going to burst. In the years since he had left the city surface for a life underground, he had seen things, worked with things, and knew things that should not be did, in fact, be. They walked among the ordinary, and those with eyes to see knew what was thought impossible was so simply because of limits, be it vision or power. Hell, Han was one of them. Who was he to say death was the end?

"We had been through so much," Marc said, not a man crowned at the summit of the world, but a soul drowning in the embrace of the dead. "We've got here together. This is just another obstacle, one we will overcome, like we've always done."

"How long… how long has he been like this?"

Marc frowned, looking like he struggled. "It… it's been a few months. I think. Han, you're the only one I can find who can help me. No one would believe me. Please, help me. Help us. I know you and me, we did not end on the best of terms, and I swear I will make up for all the ways I wronged you, I just… please, Han. You of all people know what it's like to help through the end, to not give up. I… I know it's him. I just know it, he's just over the threshold, and just needs a little push to come over."

It was the inflection, the way the vibrations left Marc's throat, how it croaked, steeped in naked desperation, but oh.

How it smelled of mud and blood.

How it pulsed with unlife, how it called, beckoned, pulled, from nowhere, everywhere, within, without, glaring suns and squirming galaxies.

Han pierced the Mist and looked beyond.

A maelstrom swirled at the heart of a suspended expanse, clotted with miscarried stars consuming the planets they birthed, only to excrete them again. A cosmic spine of bleeding starlight lanced through the spiral, impossibly broken yet struggling with unyielding life, the mercy of release beyond reach.

A figure, headless and hollowed out, standing just behind the bed, a single skinned hand pressing forward, against the stretching membrane of spacetime itself, thick, but translucent, threaded through with blood beating to a heart unseen and should not be.

His hands, Han looked down, each fingertip a surgical blade.

And oh, how clean the cut would be. The completion it would bring about. The perfection it would bring forth. The honour of sacred delivery.

"Do you see him?" Marc asked, bloodshot eyes wide, his face a ruin of tears and snot. "Is he here?"

Han shook his head, his insides a mess. He wanted to laugh, he wanted to scream, it never left him, it never would. As long as he walked this path, the destination was inevitable. Who was he to challenge a fate penned by the stars?

But this wasn't the time for himself. It never was time for himself. He managed to say, "it's not Cameron, Marc."

His brows furrowed with such innocence, Han wanted to cry. "Who else could it be?"

He had to bring him away from this. "Marc. I created that head. I swear to any god that will hear, there is nothing of life in there, nothing but complete artifice. Think, Marc. Use your fucking head," he grabbed the broken man by the shoulders, who for once looked afraid. He pressed on. God, please let this work. "What twisted humanity can live literally without a brain? Without food, water, for months? Marc, think! It's not a human, I can tell you that!"

Han held Marc's face. "If you trust me enough to bring me here, then please, trust me when I say nothing good stands beyond that threshold. It is not Cameron. It will not be a fate he wants, for himself, or for you."

Confusion fled, chased away by anger. "You don't know me. You don't know us. He just needs a functioning body, that's it! It must be it! We don't give up on us, nothing could stand in our path, and it's not any different now."

"Marc, fucking listen to yourself! Death is not something you defeat! He is gone, okay? You… you need help, to process grief, to mourn him and let him go, not pursuing this… transgression. I know someone, okay, she can–"

Marc's face hardened. "Transgression? Is this what this is? You're scared you're defiling some… sanctity?"

No, Han wanted to say. That he was not scared of what lurked beyond. But that would be a pitiful lie.

Marc's eyes glinted, sharpening like a bird of prey. A lifetime ago, those eyes shone with the fire of conquest, a brightness exclusive to the undefeated that had Han both in fingertips and on eggshells as Marc pleased. Now, it was a dullness that writhed, a shimmer beyond desert haze that could not tell salvation from mirage.

"You, always the idealist. Spouting principles and preening virtues and leaving ME behind, never of any fucking use. You don't know what it's like to fight, to claim. To rule. You don't understand. None of you ever fucking did.

"But he does. God, he did. And I will tear down this planet so he will again."

Han held his shaking hands still, but that was a fight he lost long ago. "I'm sorry. I'm not helping." He said, and fled the mansion.

V.

The limousine returned to the fountain square. It was around 11PM, and no other soul graced the space, as he deserved.

Han closed the car door and was more than ready to run back to the sewers, but the driver called after him.

"Sir, Mr. Wander has a message for you." He handed Han another envelope, and left.

Alone in the square, with only the oppressive gaze from the stars above for company, he violated the vanilla enclosure. The white cheque within was nowhere near the full amount, but still substantial enough to run the Clinic for a few months at least.

Its back said simply, in clean cut red, "when you're ready, you will."

~~~

I'll be there at 4PM.

Today, 11:39PM

You accepted external transaction 2 from @301:Wander

[yaizl]

update!! my new pens coming in today so i can get to drawing stuff and posting here actively again!! :]

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Harada After Story Translation

This is my first post of the month, so I’ll start by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.  

-------

i don’t really play rhythmic music games... but i gotta say, Deemo Reborn was amazing. my heart is feeling very hurt right now. highly recommend it. 

Anyway, this is my translation of the Harada story from the Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Stellaworth pre-order bonus booklet「薄桜鬼 真改 華ノ章」ステラワース早期予約特典 小冊子 (....I should really make the Japanese on these particular posts of mine uniform), which was translated from Chinese as always.

Kinda sad that it’s taken me so long to get to finishing these when I consider how the very first translation on my tumblr was for the Saito story and when i posted that... ahahahaaaaa...... lol. *facepalm.* 

Now that this is done, that just leaves the stories for Souji and Heisuke (of which i have now queued) since I don’t have translations of the after stories for Shinpachi, Sanan, Souma, Iba, and Sakamoto (have scans for them should anyone want to translate them or commission someone else to translate them). 

------

Hakuoki Shinkai: Hana no Shou Stellaworth Pre-order Bonus Booklet After Story - Harada Sanosuke

Translation by KumoriYami

The boundless sky and horizon——

The war between the old Shogunate's forces and the New Government Army, and the fighting between humans and oni, had nothing to do with the country on the other side of the sea.  And it was in that place, a [certain] man and woman were [now] living.  

The man's name was Harada Sanosuke, former Tenth Division Captain of the Shinsengumi. While the woman in love with him was the young female oni who had decided to leave Japan with him, Yukimura Chizuru.

After Harada finished his daily firewood delivery, he rode back towards his beloved at home. Ever since coming here, his riding skills have improved by a lot.

After leading the horse back to the stable, he opened the door of this house, which looked a bit lonely in this cold weather.

"Yo, Chizuru, I'm back."

Chizuru, who was leaning over from where she was sitting down in a chair and mending clothes, lifted her head with a smile.

"Welcome back, Sanosuke-san. How was it outside?"

"It's still the same. Although I've been mentally prepared for a while, the coldness of winter here really can't match the degree of coldness in Kyoto."

As Harada spoke, he curtly sat down on his chair. The old chair looked as if it were to collapse at any moment, and made a creaking sound.

"But, it's thankfully very warm at home, right?"

Although it was difficult living in a foreign country where there was a language barrier, Chizuru wasn't the slightest bit dissatisfied, and was still smiling from ear to ear as she responded to his words.

Her appearance made him feel that he would never be able to fully express how thankful he was. Harada, who always felt a little ashamed about this, lightly tousled his hair.

"Nn...... indeed.”

Chizuru who finally finished mending the clothes, then quietly stood up.

"Please wait a bit. I'll go make you some tea."

"No need,  I'll go make the tea, you go and rest.”

"But...…"

"Your body isn't just your own, so don't force yourself...… alright?”

The tone of his voice was slightly more forceful, which was why she sat back down into her chair again.

"Since that's the case, I'll leave it to you. Sanosuke-san.”

"Yosh! Just look forward to it, and watch me make you a delicious cup  of tea.”

After, he tried copying the way that Chizuru made tea——.

"......Ah, sorry, I wanted to make tea like how you usually do.”

The tea that Harada made, was one that someone would have a difficult time calmly drinking. Having seen that, Chizuru made a new cup for him, which tasted quite good. The same tea leaves were obviously used, yet there was such a difference in the taste, and upon seeing this, Harada felt incredulous.

"Please don't worry about it. I'm already thankful for your intentions.”

"...…That so."

Truly, what a kind woman. once again Harada confirmed how kind she was.

When he was thinking about coming to this foreign country, she didn't utter a single complaint, and followed him in silence. Although this method was used to hide her from the oni clans that were pursuing her——.

(If she was born as a human, she wouldn't have had to bear such difficulties.)

Although he felt that Chizuru who had ended up with the Shinsengumi because of various reasons, it was why he tried helping her as much as possible, but it was in that period of time, that he found himself unable to look away from her. He didn't know when it started, but he felt that he was the only one to protect her.

(......No, she was no longer alone.)

As Harada thought this, he stood back up.

"Sanosuke-san?"

After she doubtfully called his name, Harada went over to Chizuru's side, bent his knees slightly, and then placed his hand on her lower abdomen, where a new life was.

"Ah......"

Gently caressing this small and growing life, his heart was brimming with warmth.

(I never thought that I would have a family.)

Because of his rough personality, his hometown wasn't able to handle him, and all sorts of commotions occurred whenever he went somewhere, which was why he cut ties to the place he was born.

(Originally, I thought that I'd be a man who would live like a stray dog, then die alone.....)

He never thought that he would be able to find someone to fall in love with, the chance to start a family, or even have children.

As he gently caressed her now swelling lower abdomen, he worriedly asked a question.

"How's your body doing? I heard that you had a fever a while ago."

"I'm all right, the people nearby have given me plenty of advice."

"What about the language? Were you able to understand it?"

"I've been able to understand a bit more of it recently. Otherwise things will be expressed using body movements and pen and ink/writing.

"...…So it was like that."

Chizuru then placed her hand against Harada's. The soft heartbeat and his warmth were both able to reach her palm.

"Hey, Chizuru."

Hearing the way his voice called out, Chizuru tilted her head.

"As long as I have you and this guy, I don't need anything else. Not even life."

Those were his honest feelings, but the moment he said this, Chizuru's expression became very serious.

"Even if that's a joke, please don't say that. If Sanosuke-san dies, this child and I will not survive.”

He already anticipated Chizuru saying this, but——

"I'm not joking. Ever since I met you, and since we've become husband and wife...…. for the first time, I know that there are things in this world that are more important than my own life and ambitions.”

His words made her blush.

"This...…"

Just from looking at her expression, it was obvious that she thought he was being too serious, but Harada truly felt that what he wasn't an exaggeration. No, if only words were used to convey his inner thoughts, perhaps not even half of them would be conveyed.

Harada lovingly brushed Chizuru's hair which drooped to her shoulders, then spoke.

"Don't worry.  I didn't plan to leave you and this guy to die behind. Even if it looks like that, I'm very confident about how I never give up in life."

"..….I believe you."

In response to his trust, she showed a smile that was brimming with confidence. Seeing her like this, Harada involuntarily smiled back.

---End---

for some reason, i translated track 5 of something... now done track 5 and 6 (of 6) for that drama lol. 

unfortunately, i only got half-way through june for my queue... ugh dammit. still that’s a decent start i suppose tho last week was my last “allowance” time for translating since i anticipate getting a lot busier now... [btw, the 4th ginsei no shou chapter for Saito is at 40% and will be at that completion level for a looong while. will need to have my queue reach november before i can earnestly focus on that game again]... also,  i’m going to assume that with school, most of my game translation videos will take longer to get done (dramas are fairly easy since timing isn’t difficult to set as there’s no text that i need to worry about).

on the plus side though, the yuugiroku dramas are now being moved via cmd...  though for some reason, i can’t see half the on-screen text in the programs i use right now... including notepad, which i use for subtitles, and nimble writer, which is the program i use to write i’ve saved my translations in... and i can’t even view my files properly cuz i can’t see any of the folders or file names...

[oneshotnewbie]

Request: "Don't apologize to me. Apologize to her and fix what you have done!" - with Lena? You can do whatever you want to! 🥰

Words: 1.488

A/N: After a long time without writing something, I managed to write almost 1500 words in 10 minutes and I am kind of proud of myself even tho it might be bad. Have fun to read it! ♥

---

„Mrs. Luthor? You have a visitor.“ Eve said at the same time as the heavy silver door from your best friend’s office pushed open. You stayed behind the blonde, waiting until you had confirmation to come in.

You took a step forward and looked over the secretary’s shoulder at the black-haired woman with a slight smile. Lena looked tense as she stared at her screen and the wrinkles on her forehead settled. „It’s Y/N Danvers.“

The CEO looked up from her work instantly as the name echoed through the room and a big grin spread across her face while you pushed your arm up and shook your hand to the left and right. She pressed a button on her computer keyboard and carefully got out of her chair while straightening her skirt and walking quickly towards you.

With a bone crushing hug she took you in her arms and escorted you to her desk. „What brings you to me?“ she asked with a smile and crossed her arms over her chest as she insisted on you.

„Can’t I even visit my best friend and my sister’s wife for no reason?“

She laughed out loud. „Of course you can. But I can see that something is wrong.“

You looked at the floor and played with the belt of your bag while you put words in your head into a sentence. „I had an argument with Alex this morning and now I don’t want to go home.“ You spoke out silently and took a big breath before you continued talking. „Can I stay here for a while? I don’t want to go home and I swear you won’t even notice that I’m here. I’ll study at your coffee table and will be quiet.“

„Naturally, that’s not an issue.“ She just answered and you were relieved that she didn’t start messing around on this topic. She knew you would talk about it if you were willing to do so and you wanted to get rid of something.

You smiled gratefully at her and walked straight to the said coffee table. Your bag literally flew to the corner of the couch and you got everything out of it as quietly as possible once you sat down. You were lucky that the table was the right size to endure your tidy mess.

You plugged your headphones into your cell phone and started blowing the music loudly out of them into your ears.

A while passed and your stomach started to growl. You hadn’t eaten anything since this morning, you had more than lost your appetite because of the argument. However, you had nothing with you, you have left the house too quickly to avoid another contact with the redhead.

You tried to ignore the stomach grumble and push it away, but your stomach had other plans. The grumbling grew louder and you were almost ashamed, didn’t want to annoy Lena and that was exactly the most annoying sound in the world. You didn’t appreciate a look in the direction of the black-haired, so you didn’t even notice that she picked up the phone and ordered food for both of you.

She too was hungry. She had been invited from office to office all day to give troublesome officials what they asked for.

You were startled when the door opened a little further away from you and your cell phone fell from the headphone cable to the floor due to the force of the pull. You quickly and painfully took the headphones out of your ears and only calmed down again when you noticed that it was only the delivery service.

You looked surprised to Lena who accepted the meal thankful, gave the guy a high tip and closed the door behind herself. „Come on, your stomach told me you’re starving.“ She spoke with a laugh and put the take out on the table before taking a chair in front of her desk and hitting on it a few times to show you that you should sit down.

You put your pens in your pencil case and jumped up. Before you went to the desk to help Lena unpack everything, you went to the dresser where the water was and took two glasses with a carafe of the transparent liquid.

„You know you didn’t had to do it.“ You said softly and took the salad box from her hands that she held in front of your face after you sat down across from her.

You didn’t like it when someone spent money on you, you never did. You felt weird to always accept anything, even gifts were a challenge for you to accept. „But you should eat something. It’s late and you probably didn’t eat anything today like I know you, am I right?“

„You totally are.“

The meal was quiet and without conversation. Your cell phone kept vibrating in your pocket and annoyed you. It was calls and messaged from your siblings that were probably wondering where you were but it didn’t matter at the moment, you didn’t want to go home at all to listen to Alex speech how you had to live your life.

„You should answer it, it’s probably important.“ Lena explained as she ate the last bite of her side bread and fully leaned back in her armchair.

„It’s not something Alex could do herself.“ You spat out and tried to direct another topic again but it didn’t work.

„Do you want to tell me about what happened? You are visibly hurt by Alex and maybe I can help?“

You briefly considered whether you should tell her what had happened because she had enough problems with CatCo and L-Corp. Finally you opened up and told her everything in turn. „And then she just thought that maybe it would be better to take me out of school because it is too exhausting and she doesn’t want to see me so broken and without energy. But I don’t want to leave, that’s my dream, Lena. The medicine school brings me joy and who slept during their studies or looked good after a few hard weeks? I told her that and she said icy cold that I wouldn’t make it anyway through it.“ You rambled out and tears started to form in your eyes.

She immediately got up and circled her table. She reached into her arms and you hid your head under her chest, the tears running free.

Few minutes after you calmed down a little, the black-haired woman broke away from you and looked at you sadly, her arms still resting on your shoulders. „You know what? I’m taking you home now and I am gonna talk to Alex, ist hat okay with you?“ she asked and you just nodded.

You got up and slowly put your things in your bag with a few drinkers while Lena freed her desk from the leftovers and put on her coat. The two of you met at her door and she put and arm around your shoulder while you both strolled out to her car.

When you got home you unlocked the door and ran straight into your room without even looking at your sister with her hard, stern voice asking where you have been and you didn’t answer to her ‚hello‘ either. You were too hurt by her.

The door closed and you threw yourself fully dressed on the bed and closed your eyes as you pressed your face into the pillow. This day was stressful.

---

„Lena, thank you for taking her home. We had an argument this morning and since then she’s not been answering-„ but Lena broke off and instead started talking to herself while she leaned against the kitchen counter and looked at Alex angrily. „What did you say to Y/N?“

„I’m sorry, it was a mistake. I shouldn’t have thought about it.“

„What did you say, Alex?“

The redhead touched the back of her head and rubbed it a few times before answering. „That she wouldn’t make it through med school.“

„You did what? Alex! You are her sister. You should support her instead of smacking her self confidence and motivation into a wall.“ Lena almost shouted and was furious at the words of the oldest Danvers. „I know.“ Alex noticed and sat on the bar stool, her head resting in her palm.

„What did ride you to say something like that anyway? She dreams of this since she is in high school and she worked so hard tob e where she is now. Just because you didn’t make it through doesn’t mean she isn’t. She is smarter than everyone thinks.“

„I am sorry, Lena.“ She apologized again but Lena just shook her head as she pushed herself away from the kitchen counter and headed for your room to say goodbye before she would left.

„Don’t apologize to me, apologize to her. Fix what you have done!“

[celawrites]

Day 37

It’s 12am and my phone is buzzing and I cannot sleep. What the fuck is going on.

You have 20 new notifications

I click open our class chat first, and to my surprise, it’s all birthday messages.

Clown: Did you guys actually have to type me a whole essay? Thank you tho <3

Pebble: A well written essay!

Sam: Time well spent

My phone vibrates and I’m invited to a call from a handful of friends.

Joining Your Neighborhood Pizza delivery service’s call…

“It’s 12am let me sleep”

“Are you not happy that we’re wishing you happy birthday at 12am?”

“I am, it’s just I’m also exhausted for no reason”

“You’re going out for a McDonalds run right?”

“Yeah. You guys woke me up halfway through”

“Sorry”

“I’m sorry it’s 12am and I really wanna know who’s in this call right now”

“Ah! It would be Estelle, Beanie, Min, “

“Your son”

“Mint”

“Sun”

“What the fuck are you guys doing awake?”

“Admiring the stars”

“Sure. Totally believe you”

“Cressie it’s your birthday.”

“One year closer to my demise I guess”

“You’re insane”

“So I’ve been told”

“Ah. Check your mailbox in the morning! There should be a couple things in there”

I yawn. 6 hours of sleep isn’t enough to run on.

“Alright get to bed. Sleep your last 3 hours and I’ll be waiting for you at 3am”

“Mint you’re the most punctual out of all of us why are you picking me up?”

“I’ve never had a McDonalds run with you. Besides, It’s Friday.”

“Alright I’m sleeping now good night”

“Good night birthday girl!”

“That’s so cheesy ksjdfalfa”

Sure enough, at 3am, I wake up and find Mint outside my door, vibing in his car. I shake my head and lock the door.

“Good morning Mint”

“Morning”

“You’re mean you know that?”

“Happy birthday Mint”

“Right back at you”

“HEY REMEMBER WHEN YOU JUST STRAIGHT UP LEFT ME ON READ WHEN I WISHED YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY-”

“I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THAT ALREAY”

“My salty ass could never”

“Alright what do you want for your birthday?”

“Neither of us give anything-”

“Our Asian ass could never”

“HOnestly”

“Ah. I do have a present for you though”

My hand reaches into my backpack and I pull out a scrapbook.

“In true Crescent fashion, I present to you our scrapbook”

“What?”

“A collection of all the photos we have together with little commentary along the way. This is now yours” I beam.

“You’re joking”

“Nope”

“I didn’t even get you anything like his I-”

“You don’t need to”

He snickers and hands me a small box.

“I found it while shopping online, and it reminded me of that one time A gave you a rainbow rose so I figured I would give you an eternal one”

I stare at the rose. It’s rainbow, and I was surprised he even remembered that his brother had given me one.  I tear up slightly, maybe its because I wasn’t used to getting gifts from him, or the sudden change of heart but I mean-

“I’m crying”

“You’re always crying”

“SHUT UP KDFSKFSHDJF”

My hands clink at the glass softly, and Mint hums in appreciation as he flips through the scrapbook.

“Where’s this photo from?”

“Hm?”  He points at a photo where both he and his brother are jumping on the trampoline while I’m sitting.

“Your mom sent it to my mom a few years back”

“Ah”

There’s a comfortable silence that passes over us, and I decide to answer all the texts that I had received about my birthday while he flipped through the book.

After about a dozen thank you!’s and 4 conversations, I finish. Mint snickers when he flips to the last page.

“You just had to put that one last huh?”

On the last page lies Mint and I at Junior prom last year. It was a tradition to go with eachother, and my friend had taken a photo where we were pretending to make out.

”Why? Don’t want your future wife seeing it?”

“No. It’s just you saved the best for last” he snorts.

“Of course” I hum.

“Alright what do you want from McDonalds?”

“Ice cream”

“You’re literally bleeding this week no”

“Uhhh. Fries?”

“Sure”

Mint starts his car and we head off. The sky is a calm blue. A dark shade that leaves you wondering if there’s more out there. It was ironic that I had met him so long ago. It was even more surprising when he moved here for junior and senior year. I was horribly confused, and the only explanation he could muster out was a job change for his parents. But I was pretty sure they just wanted to have A mature in a different environment.

“Lost in thought again?”

“Mhm. You never told me how and why you moved here in detail”

“Nothing really. It was a job change on my parents part, and a new path for A”

“What about you?”

“I wanted to chase the only person who never gave up on me”

“You’re disgusting”

“Better than confessing to my crush every day for a whole year”

“LEAVE ME ALONE”

“You’re the one who brought up how I chased you all the way to California”

“I still wonder how you can pin after someone like me”

“At some point I realized you saw me as a brother”

“I wish I could do that.”

“You’re a hopeless romantic. Have some fun every once in a while”

“Are you implying I should have a one night stand?”

“Once you’re a legal adult sure”

“Bad decision making except it’s Mint giving me bad advice as a joke”

“I hate you”

“Love you too~”

“You’re disgusting”

“Bleh”

HE pulls up at the McDonalds drive-through and I scream.

“dEAR ARE YOU ALIVE?”

“OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING! EVERYTHING’S ON ME TODAY”

“WTF DEAR NO”

“NO OBJECTIONS. IS MINT WITH YOU?”

“I’m here”

“Happy birthday Mint darling anyways what do you guys want?”

“The usual”

“Nothing new?”

“Nope”

“Alright! See you at the second window!”

“Cressie darling I got you a gift!”

“I- what?”

“Gift.” He tosses something through the car window and it lands in my hands.

“What is it?”

“Check”

I click open the box and I find a small pendant with a moon.

“I thought you were a broke high school student?”

“But the boss gave me a raise and told me to get something nice for my lover and like I don’t have one so I mean-”

“I don’t deserve you” I sniff.

“Stop crying darling you’re scaring me”

I really hope you find yourself a lover this year or I will fight everyone around me I SWEAR”

“You’re being too loud again Cress”

“Sorry”

He hands us our food and waves us goodbye. It was funny to me. I had so many friends around me now that I had grown.

“Are you gonna make a birthday post?”

“Oh for Serenity!” I gasp.

I type away and Mint steals a couple fries from me. I hiss at him while typing.

“Too bad” he shrugs.

School rolls around and I ‘m met with 20 happy birthdays and a couple gifts fro my other friends. Surprise surprise I have other friends. Z and Sun’s gift surprises me the most.

“Cress” Sun calls for me after school.

“Hm?”

“Happy birthday” He hands a medium-sized box to me.

“You always make us scrapbooks for our birthdays so I thought I’d try to make one for you”

“Have I ever told you how much I love you-”

“You remind me pretty often but yeah”

I open the box and a seat little scrapbook sits inside. There’s a white pen, a silver one, and a gold pen rolling around next to it, and there’s a small letter. Z tackles me from behind and I crash into Sun’s chest.

“Z what the f-”

“Language” Sun glares.

“Your gift!” Z hands me a small photo sized box.

“Photos?”

“You made a whole batch with notes on the back for me so I decided to print a bunch for you!”

“Thank you Z” I sniff slightly.

“What’s wrong! Do you not like it?”

“No no! I’m emotional haha” I muster up a smile. My cursed birthday luck was gonna catch up with me soon. I just felt it.

“No worries! It was the least I could do” Z smiles.

I nod in response. The rest of the day carries out like normal, and I find myself tired by the end of the day. My classmates threw me a party, and at the end of the day, my friends threw me another one. I enjoyed it, but I was waiting for my cursed birthday luck to catch up to me, I could never be happy until it occurred.

“If you’re thinking about that birthday curse of yours again, I’d advise you to know that with me, there’s no chance of having bad birthday luck” Mint hums. His birthdays had no bad things. It was like the universe favored him.

“I know. But I can’t truly calm down until I get to bed”

There’s a comfortable silence that settles down before Mint speaks up again.

“I’m sorry”

“Why so?”

“You had always wished me happy birthday so consistently, and I never replied and I just feel really bad and all-”

“Don’t worry about it.” I tap at the red solo cup in my hand. “I probably deserved all that”

“You don’t and that’s why I kind of. Um”

“Mint you’re my editor what did you do-”

“Bought tickets back home?” I gape at him. My jaw is dropped, and he seems to panic. “My home’s open and all! I know your house is rented out and the renters for my place just moved out and we have thanksgiving in a month so I figured I would take you back for the break and I’m sorry! I probably should’ve asked first and all but-”

A choked sob escapes my lips. I’m shocked, I hadn’t gone home in so long. How did he know? A stream of incoherent words escapes my lips and Mint tries to soothe me.

“You know.” I managed to force it out. “Some days I question why I stopped crushing on you. You spoil me rotten, and I don’t even deserve someone who cares for me and knows me like you and you always seem to know how I’m feeling and-”

Mint rubs soft circles on my back, and I let out my emotions. My birthday curse wasn’t a curse. It was a tradition. A tradition to cry at least once on my birthday, and for the first time, I was crying tears of joy. A couple minutes pass, and I feel my emotions slowly draw back.

“Thank you” I mumbled weakly.

Serenity made a new post!

It’s my birthday! Thank you to all of you who sent in birthday wishes (and death threats)! Another year has passed and I truly wish that I could thank you all face to face for the support!

Once again, my lovely editor Leaf shares a birthday with me so go ahead and send in some birthday wishes to him as well. For today’s gift from me, you all get a blast of joy! Much love!

-Serenity

Previous : Masterlist : Next

[attickit]

Getting to know me

Tagged by 💜💙 @bangtanloverboys 💙💜

1. What do you prefer to be called name wise? Jay or Han is fine. Pyn is just mainly a nickname I just use like a pen name-ish.

2. When is your birthday? Aug 4th

3. Where do you live? SEAsia but if you know me well enough and scrounge around you know where exactly.

4. Three things you are doing right now? "writing", watching videos, drinking water (i guess?? cause idk what third thing im doing but i have my glass next to me. Being alive maybe?)

5. Four Fandoms that have piqued your interest right now? BTS (I mean clearly...), CritRole, very interested in what the deal is with BDG, and trying to figure out what the hell is going down with the Homestucks (it's been awhile since I've touched it again).

6. How the pandemic treating you? I'm aight since this is just me on a daily basis but without a job so yeah... I do miss going out with JX and going to the library to see if there are new books to read.

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now? Hmmm... I've been going back to listen to We Are by One OK Rock every few days now.

8. Recommend a movie? If you're not to into historical war movies then I'm sorry I don't neccessarily know what to recommend. Please don't ask me why I like these kinds of movies either cause I have No Idea™. So yeah, recommendation: Saving Private Ryan, 1917, The Imitaion Game. Oh! Here's two Ghibli’s: Kiki's Delivery Service, Princess Mononoke. I realise now it said A movie but we're too far in now. lol.

9. How old are you? Coming on 21.

10. School, University, Occupation or other? I'm trying to stay alive. *finger guns*

11. Do you prefer hot or cold? Cold cause you can put on another layer if you're cold but if you're hot, you just suffer. Also I just feel more comfortable in the cold and wearing more layers.

12. Name one fact others may not know about you. What do people not know about me?? Mmmmh, why is nothing coming up to mind when I know I have definite weird facts... How about just a terrible memory instead? I onced confessed to a boy and got rejected with him just saying "You may leave now." after I told him my feelings. What a great day that was.

13. Are you shy? Mmmm yeah? I look like I talk much but really I'm terrible at holding conversation.

14. Do you have any prefered pronouns? He/They

15. What’s your favourite “-dere” Type? I don't have a personal favourite but I like drifting towards Yanderes and Kuuderes. Of course Kuuderes being the non dangerous one to drift towards.

16. Any pet peeves? It's just a trivial one. People (mainly strangers or people I'm not as close to) touching my things.

17. Rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 means being the best you could ever be! We're at about a 4 so it's not as bad as it can be.

18. What’s your main blog? This blog!!

19. List your sideblogs and What they are used for!

I have too many? Like I have eight???

@dawndrms, my fanfic blog

@triptych-calamity, my shit post and reference blog shared with Kai and JX but neither of them use it anymore I think

@tinyhannie , a theme referene and wishlist-esque blog

I have two askblogs but no one cares about those

I also have a TXT update blog but I havent touched that in a while. 

I have a witch ref blog and a... nsfw-esque blog but that's nothing much.

20. Is there anything people need to know about you before being friends with you? I am terrible at holding conversations sometimes and I don't really start conversations. If I don't reach out to you first in a long long while, it doesn't mean I don't like you or anything, I just am useless at that. I probably think about you a lot tho. But I am trying to stop being such a coward about not reaching out first! :3

Tagging: @ditttiii, @aiimaginesbts, @rielleria no-one else is coming to my brain now, oof. Feel free to not do it if you don’t want to!!

[tetrakys]

Thank you! As long as is well written, about everything? 😂 I love both young and new adult, even fantasy 😂 In this moment tho I would like to read something not "dark" (like devil's night of Pen Douglas, as much as I love her books) more like MCL (more spicy tho) or like IIL...

Back to you anon! I hadn’t forgotten about your request, I was just waiting to get a break from ML.

So… in time I’ve noticed that the books that interest me usually belong 3 main categories:

1) Very good plot but weak on the smut. These are usually YA where there’s lots of foreplay and promise of banging but the delivery is limited. This is not necessarily bad, I like to suffer and wait for my prize 👀

2)  Perfect balance of plot and smut, meaning a good story with lots of games in the first half and lots of banging in the second half. These are gems, usually new adults with a well defined storyline.

3) Average/weak story but with awesome hot smut. These are usually erotica where you just want to skim through the story and just get to the good parts 👀

I love Penelope Douglas with all my heart, but I understand what you mean and I will avoid dark romances in my list. I got you anon ;)

Type 1:

Equal Parts by Emma Winters

Anon, this book! *insert french chef kiss*

I said this type were mostly YA, but this book is not. The protagonist is an adult, a nurse, and we’re in a world were superheroes live among us, people have powers and fights against supervillains are normal. Our girl also has a superpower no one is aware about, she can give happiness. One day she ends up in the middle of a fight between the most famous hero of the town against the most famous villain and she by chance ends up helping the villain with her power. Yes, you read it right, this is a villain-gets-the-girl love story.  Nobody has ever seen his face because he always wears dia de los muertos makeup. I bought this ebook for the cover and fell in love with the story. He kidnaps her and they get close slowly, but when they finally do it gets hot 🔥 There is not much jealousy here (just a bit), but I had to recommend it anyway because it’s good.

Type 2:

I know you said no Devil’s Night, but did you read the other PD’s books? Because the Fall Away saga is 5 stars and Punk57 is probably my favourite of her books. I’m going to assume you have and suggest also something else.

The Royals trilogy by Erin Watt, starting with the first book, Paper Princess.

This is technically YA, but… BUT… anon prepare a cold beverage if you read this, because it’s going to get hot in there! 🔥

The protagonist is a 17-years old girl who is struggling to get by since her mom died. She’s been living alone supporting herself working as a stripper at night and at the same time going to school so she wouldn’t end up in the system. One day, when she’s close to turn 18, she is found by her dead father best friend who is now her legal guardian and forcefully takes her to his home to live with him. Did I say that the guy is super rich? Did I say he has a bunch of kids all super hot and male? Did I say that she immediately starts fighting with the hottest and most asshole of the group? Did I say that another brother (the gigolo) also gets very handsy? Well, anon, just know that this is a true love-hate book and the girl is really badass, at some point she ties the asshole like a turkey and leaves him there because he was disrespecting her. Major savage points.

Type 3:

Stuck in Between by Blakely Bennett

Jacqs has been in a on again off again friends-with-benefit situation with her best friend Bond for years, she would like to have more but he doesn’t believe in relationships. One day she ends up smooching Bond’s best friend Red, whom she’s always had a bad relationship with. They basically start secretly dating, and when Bond finds out he gets crazy jealous. So how would you solve this situation? Well there’s only one way, title and cover kinda give the answer away 👀

The plot is not that deep, but it’s not the plot the reason one would read this book anyway.

Anon, if you ever want more recommendations, I’m here with my 56789752 ebooks.

[cancerbiophd]

hi julia, i hope you're having a good monday! do you have any recommendations for homesickness? i've moved across the country for grad school and am totally alone in a new city. i'm so anxious i can barely eat, and i miss my family so much. i just want to settle in already so i can prepare for classes, but right now i can barely function! ):

hello my darling anon! 

I’m sorry to hear it hasn’t been a good couple of days for you! But I want you to know that it’s totally ok to feel homesick. We’re never “too old” to feel homesick. It’s sometimes really tough moving away from the familiar! I wasn’t close at all to my family when I moved away for grad school, but I still felt a lot of sadness when my parents were driving away and I went back into my new (pretty empty) apt. If anything, the loneliness of being away from what I was familiar with compounded with the nervousness of starting something so monumental. So I completely understand what you’re feeling, and I want you to know it gets better once school starts and you form a daily routine and are kept super busy with classes and work, and you make new friends and memories. You’re going to be ok anon :)

Here are some things to try that might let you feel less homesick:

Talk to the person you’re missing. Call them as often as you want if that makes you feel more whole. If calling isn’t always an option, communicate by other means, like texting, etc. One of grad school friends literally calls her mom every single day during her evening commute, and as far as I can tell, has been doing this for the past 5 years of grad school. If you want to talk to someone every day, then go for it. There’s absolutely no rule in life about having a quota on communicating with our loved ones. Just keep in mind to be considerate of not only the other person’s time constraints, but your own as well. But a 15 min chat every day can be totally doable! 

Have noise playing in the background when you’re at home, be it music, a podcast, the news, a TV show, ambiance sounds, etc. I’ve found that silence can heighten feelings of loneliness, especially if you’re used to living in a household with lots of hustling and bustling. A friend of mine comes from a huge family so when she moved here for grad school, she would always have the TV on quietly in the background in her room. If things with words are distracting (like if you’re trying to study), I love using the Relax Melodies app on my computer or phone to play a huge variety of background noises that can be can mixed and matched (my favorite is rain + crackling fireplace). 

Put up pictures of good times with your family and friends around your place (and future work space, if possible). Gazing at the laughing faces of my family and friends is the next best thing to being with them, and sometimes it does feel like they’re almost right there next to me. I get my prints from CVS–it’s super quick and cheap. 

Make a list of all the positive things you’re looking forward to with a physical list on pen and paper so you can refer to it often. For example: you’re starting grad school!!! How many years have you dreamed of this day? So many!! If you have a stipend: you’re gonna get a salary, and tho maybe a small one, it’s a salary nonetheless! Your new apt is a blank canvas for decorating, so if there’s an aesthetic you’ve always wanted to try, now’s the perfect time! Even if it’s just one thing, it could help bring a little brightness to your day. 

Try to make your new place feel more like home, by unpacking, organizing and cleaning, acquiring any furniture or supplies you need, decorating, browsing websites like apartmenttherapy.com for new decor inspo, etc. If anything, it’ll give you keep you occupied from thinking bad thoughts, even for a brief couple of minutes.

Reach out to your cohort, if you have their info. Many are probably feeling just as lonely. If there were some cool people you met during your interviews that also got accepted, think about reaching out to grab a bite to eat and explore the city together. Same with current grad students who welcomed you to contact them! 

Get take out or delivery these few days. If you don’t have the emotional and mental energy right now to go grocery shopping and cook, that’s absolutely ok. But I would like you to eat something, because I know it’ll make you feel better. It’s amazing how much better we feel and how much clearer we think once our bellies are full, so think about what you most want to eat right now, and order it to go. 

I’ve also been told that cooking something from home can help. But personally, since I’m a terrible cook, I sometimes end up just messing up the recipe and feeling even worse. But if you’re gifted with chef skills, you could try that! 

Take an afternoon to explore campus. If the thought of exploring an entire new city is overwhelming, then start small with just your new campus. It’ll also be a great chance for you to find out where your classrooms are, where the best places to eat or study are, etc. And all university campuses are just gorgeous and filled with history, so that alone is worth the exploration. And even though classes haven’t started the campus won’t be entirely deserted, so buildings will still be open! After all, we current grad students are always there, no matter the season :P

Read a book--new or an old favorite. I know the one thing that will take my mind off bad feels for a long time is reading (or re-reading) a great book. There’s also something really comforting about curling up and reading too that feels like home and a hug rolled into one. 

I hope there’s something in there for you to try, and that you start to feel at least a little bit better soon! You’re going to be ok anon. Things will be ok :)

Please feel free to reach out to me on the chat system if you feel comfortable doing so! I’m always here if you need someone to talk to (or give book recs :D!)

[kmp78]

All those echies who are dreaming about working for Jared have read to many of those fanfics where he falls madly in lust with his PA & makes excuses to keep her in the office late so he can bend her over her desk ....

“Jared! Your keys are on the table by the door, phone is charging, tomorrow´s calendar on the kitchen counter and food is in the oven, timer will ring in 20 and then it´s your dinner time, okay?!”, Alice called out from the hallway as she put on her coat and grabbed her bag.

It was her first night off for almost a month and she was excited to finally catch up with friends and get her drink on. God knows she could use a friendly ear and a stiff drink after all the shit she has put up with from her boss…

Yesterday he had a screaming fit when he couldn´t find his slippers which Alice had put in the drier following his impromptu dip in the pool while still in his pj´s, and last Sunday she had spent almost 2 hours trying to get him to stay still so she could give him his eyedrops for the pinkeye he managed to catch from… something or someone, it´s just better to not ask too many questions, as she has come to learn.

Needless to say, this boss was a handful alright!

“Wait did I hear someone yelling…?”, Jared wondered while sitting on his toilet going #2. He stopped grunting for long enough to listen.

No, there was nothing. Probably just the wind.

He could be forgiven for thinking he did actually hear her yelling, because she yells. Oh boy, does she yell! Always hollering out instructions and reminders… Beaming at him with her piercing blue eyes that sparkle like diamonds… Long curly hair always tied up in a messy bun, making her look like a frumpy Mary Poppins… Cute and perky breasts which she always hides under a thick coating of clothes but he has managed to catch glimpses of her lacy black bras on a few occasions when she has bent down to pick up his socks… Even her button nose is too cute to not wanna pinch! And those lips…! Oh man, those lips which practically call out for his…

On many lonely nights he had laid in bed, imagining her lips pressing against his… then slowly moving lower… on his chest… kissing her way further down… Her delicate fingers pulling his boxers down… lips finally, after an agonizingly long wait, reaching his pen-

“JARED! I`M LEAVING NOW!”, Alice´s voice snapped Jared back to reality.

Okay this time he DEFINITELY heard her yelling.

“What? Leaving? Where the fuck is she go- oh shit that´s right I gave her the night off FUUUUUCK!”

Jared started pushing and grunting at lightning speed and managed to squeeze out a decent size turd in record time. He leaped up, barely having time for a good wipe. Doesn´t matter anyway, he wore black undies today so any collateral residue will be lost in the folds so all´s good!

He quickly ran his hands through the faucet and with slippery hands he yanked open the bathroom door and rushed downstairs three stairs at a time - only to see the door drawing close behind her.

He managed to shove his foot in the doorway quick enough to stop it from closing fully.

“WAIT!”

Alice yelped as she turned around hearing his voice booming so close to her ear.

“Jesus Christ, Jared! Now I´m gonna go deaf! Wasn´t it enough you almost blinded me when that button came flying off from your Gucci jacket when you threw it at the pizza delivery boy for forgetting pineapples from your pizza?”

Jared glared at her but on the inside he was smirking.

Her constant jabs at him were starting to make him all warm and fuzzy on the inside…

“Well sorry but… do you have to go? I mean… I… well I have this headache coming on and… I don´t know where the medicine cabinet is anymore and even if I did know I think it´s locked anyway and I´m not allowed to have a key since the last time when I took all the bandages and made myself a mummy and… well, can´t you just reschedule? Pleeeeease?”

He stared at her with his puppy dog eyes and batted a few times.

Alice looked at her boss at the doorway, looking all disheveled and pouty and like he could use a good hug. He was an annoying twit for sure, but damn…

He sure knew all the right moves.

“Well… I suppose I could call my friends and tell them I´m gonna come a little late…”, she stuttered and Jared´s face immediately sparked up.

“Great! Go get me some aspirin, I´m gonna go lay down, come give me a back rub!”, and he took off like a young calf seeing spring fields for the first time.

That headache of his sure seemed to fade fast…

Alice sighed and took off her coat and made her way to the medicine cabinet. Maybe the aspirin will wear out His Holiness enough so that he´ll be fast asleep in an hour and her night off can finally commence!

She walked up the stairs to find an almost nude Jared sitting on his bed, wearing nothing but his undies and socks.

Not just any socks tho. Gucci socks, made of real human eyelashes. She shuddered every time she had to pick them up from the floor, but thankfully Jared doesn´t smell like anything even tho he only uses soap in the shower, so at least there´s that.

He smiled at her sweetly as she hesitated at the doorway.

“Gimme my pills,” he snapped at her and she made her way towards him. She handed him his pills along with a glass of water from the nightstand, and watched as he gulped them down.

He was being very brave boy today, usually his medicine must be chopped up into tiny pieces and hidden in his food or else he´ll fight you to the death before swallowing, but this time he managed them whole and all in one go.

“All good?,” Alice asked.

“Very good,” Jared replied, and as she turned towards the door, he suddenly grabbed her wrist and pulled her next to him on the bed.

They stared at each other for a few moments. Alice was not sure what was happening - but she liked this sudden closeness.

It´s not like she had not fantasized about this before… A few times when she caught him walking out of the bathroom wearing only a towel, she had been left gulping a few times quite excessively… And that one morning when she went in to wake him up and he had the most massive tent pitched up, she almost had to collect her jaw from the floor along with a puddle of her own drool…

He was a god among men, that cannot be denied.

After what felt like an eternity, Jared finally spoke.

“Alice, I… uhm… I…”

He couldn´t quite get the words out but he was never a man of many words anyway. Hell, he has even used the same lyrics for 17 different songs.

Action was always his forte. Direct action.

He leaned over and pressed his lips against her.

Alice froze and almost stopped breathing. Her heart was beating so fast she thought it might actually vomit its way out right on Jared´s face.

The kiss ended as abruptly as it had begun, as Jared pulled away.

“I… uh… sorry…,” he muttered as a slight blush started growing on his face as he fidgeted on the bed. His eyes darted all over the room, as if he was trying to will himself invisible.

Perhaps this was a big mistake… He shouldn´t have put his lust for her so bluntly out there… She´s obviously not into him the same wa-

His train of thought was suddenly interrupted when he felt Alice´s lips on his again.

She was way more forceful this time, almost taking charge of the situation with her eagerness to get more, more, more - and for once in his life and to much of his surprise, Jared actually enjoyed it.

She climbed onto his lap and pushed him to lay down on the bed as she followed, positioning herself right on top of him. She could feel that massive tent thing starting to rise again but this time her nervousness in its presence was long gone. She was enjoying every single moment of this sudden delightful turn of events.

The eager kissing seemed to only intensify and get more and more lustful with every moment until Alice pulled away and started stripping off her clothes.

Jared laid back with his hands behind his head, enjoying the view with a gleeful smirk as Alice continued her private striptease for him.

Slowly unbuttoning her shirt and letting it fall to the floor… Yanking down her jeans, revealing her lacy undies…

Jared was so lost in this vision of beauty standing in front of him that Alice had to snap her fingers to get his attention again.

“Jared!,” she commanded.

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat.

“I want you to fuck me on that desk,” she boldly stated to him, pointing to his desk by the balcony doors.

“Wh- what?”

“You heard me, cowboy. I want you to press my ass cheeks onto that table and fuck me.”

There was a moment of silence in the room.

Maybe a few more.

“Uh… well… I also have this bed… Oh and there´s a mattress on the floor ´cos you know bad back and all so maybe we cou-”

“DESK, Jared.”

Alice grabbed Jared´s arm and yanked him up from the bed. He obviously needs some encouragement, bless his heart…

She kissed him, perfect amount of tender and forceful. She knew he would not be a match to her seductive ways, and she was right. She could feel him relaxing in her arms, and that tent thing was continuing its growth spur quite nicely too…

Suddenly he grabbed her by her waist and hoisted her up. Alice quickly wrapped her legs around his waist, pressing herself against his chiseled body as close as humanly possible. She could feel his heart pounding against her and small beads of sweat dripping from his forehead as he slowly moved towards the desk while at the same time trying to free Alice from her bra and by the time they managed to reach the desk, her perky bosom was finally there for him to latch onto.

He sat her on the desk and had to almost tear himself away from her lips but he simply had to, as her delicate skin was almost calling out his name.

He moved his lips from her lips down to her neck… then further down her heaving chest… reaching her perfectly pink nipples… further down… he reached the waistband of her lacy undies and grabbed it with his teeth… painfully slowly he yanked the last piece of clothing shielding Alice´s modesty down once millimeter at a time… one… two… three… fou-

AAAAAND THAT´S ALL FOR NOW, FOLKS!

THANKS FOR READING MMMKAY BYEEEEE!

- 👸🏼 -

(Disclaimer and rules)

[dcuglybooks]

A short story collection featuring stories that are either mean and ugly like that turd that thudded you in school, or sweet and cuddly as a little gloomy kitten; or puppy if you’re more of a dog person.

Stories Christians don't have to read backwards. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LGB4HGN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_UIpaGb2VC4BBX

Here’s a free short.

WAP: WEIRD ASS PHANTOM

“There’s a ghost in this house. There’s a ghost in this house.”

Linda was getting tired of the shit. Every day at exactly noon her alarm would play this shitty overdubbed version of a Cardi B song. The original song wasn’t her cup of tea to begin with, this new version that sounded like drunk karaoke was even worse. Most times she would be sitting there and the sound of a drunk sorority girl would make her jump out of her skin. She couldn’t even find the song or alarm in her phone to do anything about it.

Linda and her girlfriend, Melissa, moved into this old house last month, the rent was so damn cheap; landlord said it was because it used to be a party house so he never charged much. The logic didn’t make any sense but at $300 a month and a mile outside of town, how were they not going to sign that lease?

“I think,” spoke Melissa one night while watching her phone float around taking pictures in the air, “the reason rent is so cheap is because it’s haunted.”

“You think?” Replies Linda while snatching the phone out of the air. “I just wish this damn ghost would stop posting pictures of our bedroom to our Instagram accounts. Did you see the caption last night?”

“Oh you mean ‘Pumpkin spice is almost here. Basic bitches, rejoice!’ The comma is what set me off. Why did she put a comma in that? Why bother? It wasn’t even used correctly I don’t believe.”

“We’re being haunted by a basic bitch.”

“I think that may be offensive.”

“I hear it all the time, it just...... yeah ok maybe. I guess I shouldn’t assume this ghost is a bad stereotype, I won’t say it again.”

“True, this girl may have more going for her than just these annoying social media posts from our accounts”

“Remember the mirror though?”

Last week as the couple were eating dinner they heard a clatter and crash from the upstairs bathroom. Running full speed ahead up the stairs and around the corner Linda saw all their makeup in a pile in the empty sink. She could see a pair of red lipsticked lips floating in the air while eyeliner was seemingly drawn onto the air in a cat eye shape. She sighed and said “What now?” These types of things had been going on since the first night so at this point it was old hat.

The lipstick went to the mirror and wrote “I am finally going to kill you.” Linda took a step back prepared to flee until the lipstick wrote below it “JK LOL YOUR FACE” and then the face floated off into the wall leaving behind the makeup like some sort of painting.

The first time anything strange had happened, a pizza showed up at the front door; delivery for an Amanda Perkins. The girl who moved out recently, they took the pizza because it was already paid for and assumed the girl had made a mistake. They were sure of this as they sat and watched old re-runs of home improvement and munched away; then they noticed the slice floating over in the air above the recliner and the chewed up pile on the seat. They screamed and ran outside, Melissa forgot her phone inside and Linda’s made a ding from inside her pocket.

“Hey I know this is really weird, it’s weird AF for me too. We can make it work though, ladies. I swear I won’t bother you, I already cleaned up my mess.”

They inched inside looking around like scared toddlers and sure enough the mess was cleaned up. After that they just rolled with the weirdness.

“Are you sure Amanda left, Mr. Morris?” Linda was on the phone with the landlord.

“Yes. Positive. Why would you think she still lived there?”

“There’s been..... some things.”

“Drunk college girl, she probably stumbled home one night and forgot she went home for the summer. Its no deal. Not big or small.”

“Are you absolutely positive there is no deal? Big, small, medium, or slightly larger than medium but not quite large?”

“What do you think? I know her ex and he killed her and then buried her body in the basement so now her ghost is haunting you. This is why I charge so cheap rent! No. I don’t believe what you think. I will be going.”

He hung up without ever realizing Linda never once mentioned any of that other stuff. Linda thought, Why does he talk like that?

Turned out that’s exactly what had happened. After doing a quick google of the ghosts name they found out she never came home. After a quick Facebook search they found her ex boyfriends page. After some scrolling they found a post that said “Amanda and I broke up again and I am going to kill her.” The post had six likes and four comments.

“Get her bro!”

“Bitch ain’t appreciate you anyhow bet!”

“U need any ting lemme no”

“Fuk gr8 ass tho. Mind if I hit her up?”

These people were insane. Did not a single one of these people see the part about wanting to kill her? Actually PLANNING to kill her.

The police found it interesting enough to look into it, they found reason to arrest the guy. After a long court trial Amanda’s ex-boyfriend, Brent, was sentenced to life in prison for murder. The body was exhumed and buried at a family plot. The rent got more expensive because Mr. Morris was in prison for helping cover a murder so his aunt took over.

You win some you lose some.

Amanda did not leave though. The ghost hung out still to this day four months later. The social media posts kept going. The pizzas kept getting ordered, only now from their pockets because Amanda’s parents closed her bank account. Amanda was irritated about that, she was cut off from her parents money and stuck living with two other people.

Linda and Melissa tried to make her feel as comfy as possible, they left a pen and notebook in each room so she could communicate with them. Usually the notes were always about how bored she was being a ghost and how if she tried to leave the house it got all bright and she started floating. Amanda was “for real afraid of flying” as she wrote on a notebook.

Amanda’s behavior got strange at some point. She began doing things like drawing stick figures on the bathroom floor in shampoo, she would wrap herself in toilet paper and roll down the stairs creating the illusion of her body disappearing, the worst of it was when she would lay in bed with Linda and Melissa startling them when she pulled the blanket. It was like living with an invisible insane person. Either her mind was slipping or she was just a strange character. She would turn the TV on and watch the same episode of “King of Queens” for ten hours straight while they were at work. They wondered what would happen if they deleted it from the DVR but didn’t want to face that at all.

The alarm kept going off too; Linda had to hand out awkward smiles and apologies when it happened at work or in public. One time she had to apologize to a middle aged woman when it went off in the cereal aisle while shopping and her son started singing the lyrics to the original version as loud as his voice would allow. The mother gasped at all the words her kid knew and knocked a shelf of maple syrup over. The bottles burst all over the floor, Linda tried to help clean it up but she was shooed away by a guy with a mop bucket and a face that said he wanted her dead as shit.

They asked her multiple times what they could do to get her to move along, to which she would always write “sno-cone” on her notebook with no explanation.

Linda woke up sick on a Tuesday and didn’t go to work, she came into the bathroom and seen a note written in lipstick on the mirror that read “Baby, all my life I will be driving home to you.” She blushed, Melissa had left her a really sweet note on the mirror. When Melissa got home she surprised her with a bout of some of the best sex they had ever had, despite Linda being sick she felt overcome with love for her partner.

“Wow. What did I do to deserve that?” Asked Melissa after.

“The note.”

“Oh yes. The note, got you good with that one. So, if it was so good mind telling me what it said?”

“You know what it said!”

“Of course I do.”

She didn’t know what it said. She had no clue, but she wasn’t going to raise a stink about what just happened. No way, no how. She got up and went to use the restroom, as she sat on the toilet she looked up and saw the words on the mirror.

“LINDA!” She yelled. “I DIDNT LEAVE THAT! THATS THE GODDAMN LYRICS FROM THE THEME SONG FOR ‘THE KING OF QUEENS!’”

Linda didn’t know what to say; she shook her head and internally accepted defeat on this one. The couple didn’t talk about it again, the ends justified the means on this one they silently agreed; thanks Amanda.

The trio had carried on life like this for months, seven to be exact, when they heard a bang and a crash from the front door. Assuming this was yet again Amanda doing some goofy nonsense they ran downstairs to clean up the mess only to find a man standing their pointing a shotgun at them.

“You’re the dykes who got me locked up, aintcha?” Said a freshly broke out of prison Brent. “You know, usually I’m cool with like loving whoever and like rights and like equality and shit but tonight is not your night. Go sit.”

They were tied together on the couch while Brent sat channel flipping on the TV.

“Amanda is still here,” spoke Linda “she’s a ghost, at some point she’s going to help us and you’ll probably get hurt. She’s probably posting pictures on Instagram right now so she’s a little busy, but I promise when she finds out she’ll come running.”

“No she won’t.”

“Ok? So you think her post is going to get a ton of likes then?”

“She’s afraid of me.”

“Ugh are you generic ‘I beat my girlfriend’ guy number seventy or not?”

“Not.”

“Then why is she afraid of you?”

“I’m bigger than her…… I guess?”

“She’s a ghost.”

“I’m still bigger.”

​“How can you be bigger than an incorporeal being with no mass or weight?”

​“See, she doesn’t way anything.”

“You didn’t think any of this through did you?”

“Not one bit.”

“It shows. Why did you kill her?”

“Hey I’ve never been what you’d call a planner. I killed her because she broke up with me for the fiftieth time that year and all my friends were giving me a hard time about how I would just crawl back to her. I said ‘can’t crawl back to her if I kill her!’ They all thought it was funny so I did it.”

“Ah………Makes perfect sense to me.”

“A guy has to watch his reputation, right?”

They sat there watching late night infomercials in silence for another half hour. Linda nudged Melissa as she seen a phone floating around taking pictures of a floating can of soup.

Of all the ghosts in the world, why was theirs like this?

“Brent, there’s some stuff on the DVR” Linda told him.

“Good I hate infomercials. Oh yuck, ‘The King of Queens.’ I hate that show, Amanda loved it. That fat fucking heifer guy gets to make it with that babe every night. Fucking loser ass UPS guy”

They could see the phone slowly lower and start hovering towards Brent. They let him rant.

“And that Deacon guy, what a fucking idiot, he leaves his wife at one point which is silly because she’s so fucking hot.”

The can of soup hovered behind him.

“That guy that dates the ugly chick from the bowling alley, now I can’t tolerate him at all.”

The soup can shook with rage.

“He ends up living with the other guy right? Like what the fuck? Are they like a thing or not a thing? I didn’t pay enough attention. I did pretend to though to get some action every now and again, show fucking sucks though. Here I’ll do you guys a favor.”

As he deleted the episode from the DVR the can came slamming down into his head.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

They heard a voice yell “MY BONES ARE GETTING WEARY! MY BACK IS GETTING TIGHT!” As the can of cream of chicken turned Brent’s head into cream of Brent’s brains.

After the violence stopped the notebook hovered in front of them and said “Sorry, I was on TikTok, I’ll clean this up tho.”

Much like the first night that’s exactly what happened. They were untied and they watched as the mess was cleaned up. Brent’s body floated over to the ground and the can of soup was laid on the table. The phone floated over to Melissa who dialed 911.

After the legal mess was cleaned up they decided that having Amanda around maybe was not such a bad idea. No one could really kill them, it was like having a built in security system. They did eventually add a third line to their cell plan and let her set up social media for herself as a reclusive twenty something who couldn’t leave the house due to a skin condition.

Her pages were ok, they didn’t get much interaction or followers but Amanda was happy. Sometimes people would say they wanted to hang out with her because they lived close, Amanda just said her skin condition was contagious AF. No one ever thought to say “Hey, what exactly IS your medical condition?” People could be so polite sometimes.

Christmas morning as they all opened gifts Linda and Melissa cried as Amanda opened the complete series collection of “The King of Queens.” The three sat on the couch together that evening and watched all of season one.

Baby all my life I will be driving home to you.

The next day they heard a familiar song. Together they both smiled and thought that yes, there was a ghost in this house.

[tumblunni]

BONNU GET A VITA

* ok lol so my regular europe psn name is Bunni89 and this america one is Bonnu98 * if any1 want 2 friend * The screen is really hi def??? what?? its actually kinda hard on the eyes cos its in such a small space. like srsly this is the same sort of quality as my tv and its just.. completely unnecessary. I saw this really cool video once that was breaking down the reasons why the ps vita tanked so hard, and the number one was that it just didnt have any idea what priorities make sense for a handheld console. So much focus on being the most graphically intensive one when thats not even something people value as much compared to home consoles, and the money needed to make it as powerful as a home console means that each unit costs loads to make and has to sell at a stupidly high price. And like.. now even after they’ve lowered the price so much its too little too late. And even if it suddenly became a success they still couldn’t make up the money lost from not selling it at £500 a unit. All that and then the game availability problems and the lack of any real gimmick to set it apart compared to the 3DS, and the fact that “its basically the ps4 but worse” isnt really a good selling point, and the fact that it isnt even very portable for its size and the high quality screen is way more fragile and it doesnt have a clamshell design to protect it.. * Basically I can understand why the vita failed. And even I only bought it now simply because there’s like two intriguing jrpgs that were exclusive to it. And they both failed super hard cos of the console’s low audience, aaaa * Anyway lol back 2 me getting dis vita and checking it out, woop woop! * I legit had NO CLUE that it had a touch screen??? Isn’t that kind of a rip off?? Like seriously wtf was it with playstation and xbox around the early wii and ds era just copying the fuck out of touch and motion controls. like seriously noone is gonna buy your thing with an inferior version of a thing they can buy elsewhere. Focus on your actual strengths! * Tho actually the touchscreen is kinda really good? i don’t think its necessarily the quality but just the layout of the console with the horizontal screen in a fairly big size with your hands on each side. its more conveinient for me with my shaky anxiety hand problems, i usually have a lot of trouble using a regular mobile phone! Sucks that nowadays EVERY phone is touchscreen and theyre always so tiny T_T So yeah typing with double thumbs and having a console to grip to steady myself works a lot better. Tho the 3DS’s stylus is equally conveinient, i just keep losing it lol. I wonder why they didnt make it with one of those chains like the pens at the post office? * WHY ARE ALL THE APP ICONS BOUNCING M&MS LOL I mean i guess its not too ridiculous to do spheres instead of the standardized square icon on every pc ever, but why are they full 3D models that have jiggle physics as you scroll the screen. Its semi addictive to poke them but i wonder how much it cost to develop that?? Your console was already a money loser! * I have officially managed to make a fake american account, woo! Its funny that all it needs to confirm you’re correct is a real post code and town name. I just googled random american place names so now my alternate self apparantly livs in fremont, new hampshire. That one sounded the cutest! i am literally in “Town I Made Up, Place That Doesn’t Exist” though. I wanted to make it “Hey I Made This Account Just To Buy Summon Night 5, Fuck U” but yknow.. character limits. * Summon Night 5 is right there in the psn store and i am crying cos i only just found out that ps vita does not have any inbuilt memory. AAAAAA. Moral of the day: do your research! So yeah i now have to wait about a week for a delivery cos i couldnt find memory cards available anywhere but preowned. Sucks that it uses a console-limited mem card system instead of global SDs like the 3DS. Thats another reason this thing will never win! poor underdog console, but also i can completely understand how its failings were its own damn fault. I just hope that like the gamecube its failure inspires the company to learn a lesson and come back with a better sequel, rather than how the dreamcast killed the whole thing. Tho I mean at least sony has the PS4 that’s doing alright, maybe they should just give up on handhelds entirely? * also wtf why does this thing have mobile phone sim card compatibility?? i hope thats not necessary for anything cos there’s no way i’m connecting my phone line to a random gaming company * COME FORTH SOON, NEXT WEEK. BLESS ME WITH ABILITY TO ACTUALLY PLAY ME CONSOLE. It may have barely any games but i will kill for oreshika and SN5!!!

[captusmomentum]

@selenelavellan​ 

(Hitting these all at once and out of order bc it’s easier hope you don’t mind)

#(Also what are Inans pronouns is it they/them?) 

first off Inan’s pronouns are They/Their or She/Her! I bounce a lot between the two bc both I do it while referring to myself and I’m using that as a template for them but I’ve been trying to use ‘they’ more so it’s easier to catch on w/o all the backtracking thru the blog to see where it’s been mentioned earlier. Inanallas vacillates between agender and demigirl for a lot of their life until they just end up mainly agender as an old fucker. 

#...it occurs to me that anytime Selene and Dirthamen are both hanging around Inan this problem will only get worse #the two of them are over 6 foot (probably not yet at least) and Inan is like my size #GL Inan at least you have friends who can get things off of high surfaces for you now

The best part of that is in my and @mitsurugireiji​‘s joint Clan Lavellan from Hell they’re all fucking Tall dark skinned Adonises primarily and Inan is this fucking short ass pale fucker from Clan Anurlal from the Anderfels so she’s already fucking SURROUNDED by giants to start with then just adds on more when she meets them. When all her siblings graduate Dirth and Selene being giants will be super helpful since she can’t make her sibs grab stuff for her anymore and she’s already been in detention for climbing the bookshelves 4 times so.

#I love Dirthamen having a friend in this AU also Yessss!!!! #I mean he's friends with Vena and the group once Selene's not like 'ur all fucking traitors' of course but still

No I Get what you mean. It’s like the difference between a friend you made all on your own and the ones you made via another friend. they’re all still your friends regardless but they’re a little different, especially because the others a more established friend group while Dirth and Inan have been rogue agents for a long ass time. It’s Special for both of them that they manage to make a friend all on their own just because they like each other’s personality. 

And lbr I Doubt anyone in that group is as fucking WEIRD and SPOOKY as they are and could handle those high levels of eccentric w/o a break. It’s nice to have that One Friend who’s as hardcore on something as you are so you never have to worry about missing each other’s marks. Plus they’re both basically ravengoths sooooo

#Falon'dins breaking bones yes good A+++ I think that one should be canon at some point 

I’d meant him breaking someone’s bones but.......let’s Ignore..... That......... B)

#BreakFalonDinsBones2k17

#I'm also dying at the Actual Criminals #Liike they do awful shit but its not Awful shit its like contraband and stuff #I'm imagining Selene going to them for like mechanical pencils like 'u got the goods??' and they're like 'hell yeah'#and they just sell muggle shit that Hogwarts doesnt use for aesthetic purposes but Selene is like #'hell YEAH not having to dip a quill is gonna make me way more efficient at studying than Dirthamen' #but the joke is on her because Dirthamens definitely got like a Stash of muggle stuff under his bed #Some of it is useful some of it he's just genuinely curious about #all of it he has been overcharged for #$10 per mechanical pencil for him #$20 for Falon'din though if he ever bothered

Tenna becomes a Legit Wizard Mobster after school but during is mostly just aiding and abetting the minor smuggling ring, along with some gambling and minor shake downs. She’s basically the opposite of Falon’Din, she’s willing to hurt people or let them be hurt but it’s sadistic about it. She’s mainly about the gathering of power and a strong stable organization. She’s ruthless af but very Reasonable and willing to talk things out and makes a Point of being regarded a pleasant person. Samahllen is more of a red jenny type, mostly low level things but is also very good with gathering info and getting sketchy shit done. It’s generally hard to see the logic to why she does most things and her honesty is Questionable but she’s a generally nice person. OFC they sell all the Choicest muggle shit, they have everything from notecards to mars bars. Sam gives them a discount once they’re friends w/ Inan, not a big one but Hey.

I imagine there’s a Panic when Tenna and Sam are slated to graduate bc where are we gotta get the goods now???????? But it all works out bc they have minions still on the inside to hussle and Sam uses Inan as a patsy to smuggle some of the product in. She’s a Good Sister like that. It’s probably when Inanallas is going thru their trunk and pull out a shady package Sam snuck in there that Selene’s like ‘... right your sister is a Legit Criminal kinda huh...’ 

God the idea of Dirthamen all excited over a spiral notebook is ADORABLE. And you know they hook Selene up with the dopest fucking cutest pencils, gel pens and stationary and shit. Dirth sees her using glitter gel pens to help organize her notes (which she is rewriting from her classnotes so they’re even nerdier and more thorough) and he gasps lightly in awe. Her notes are so informative and pretty! Truly she is a master. 

#I'm making this Canon CONGRATS #I love this so much #and ALSO #this means when Ravenclaw plays against Slytherin Inan and Falon'din are both on the field actively trying to beat the shit out of eachother #for an audience even #Dirthamen is Conflicted (tm) but Selene is just like 'We're rooting for Inan dont even worry about it'#any further arguments he makes Selene is like 'listen Inan is in our house so we should root for them over your brother thats just sports' #But she roots particularly loudly everytime Falon'din takes a ball to the face

GOOD LORD. IDK IF SHOULD BE HAPPY OR TERRIFIED. Inan on a broom fending off EVIL DEATH BALLS sounds like their Actual Nightmare. I imagine the first couple of practices are just [INAN SCREAMING w/ Vena laughing in the bg] then they’d get over themselves enough to remember they have been trained by a lifetime of sibling brutality to not give a Single Fuck and suddenly it’s super scary to watch. Inanallas is the first to forget that they’re inhumanly BUFF and can like, actually fight really well (Thanks Thenvas!). Inan has REALLY BAD AIM THO SO I’M CONCERNED ABOUT THEM BEING A BEATER. Tho I guess that means a lot of hitting at the closest available target. Can you grab a bludger and travel with it? They’d do that. Special delivery for Falon’Din [SLAMS IT INTO HIS CHEST FULL FORCE]

Selene and Inan are united in their Hate of Falon’Din. gtfo bonefucker dirth is her shitty brother now and he’s gotta make kissy faces at selene no more bullshit from you. I imagine at some point down the line it gets really ugly and devolves into physical fights and shit, probably something similar to the snape-sirius feud. god dirth would be So Distraught.

Tace sprinting over and holding Falon’Din in a lock while Selene and Inan wail on him #goals

[azunara-archive]

things i have learned delivering pizza

i’ve been a pizza delivery driver for about a week now and let me tell u it is both a surreal job and also far better than any other fast food job i ever did

-you will either hate rich people or love them. there is no middle ground. they either give you insane fucking tips (i’ve had several tips where it was like 6-10 dollars on like 30 dollar orders) or they will give you absolute garbage (2-3 dollars on an order that ranges from 20-40 dollars).

-you thought you got lost in suburbia before? you knew nothing. sometimes not even your gps can save you.

-i have formed a strange bond with every other pizza delivery person i see on the road. if they’re from my company, i give them a nod and i kinda wanna flash my lights and honk excitedly (SAME PIZZA! SAME PIZZA!). if they’re from a different company, i have to resist the urge to get into a physical fist fight with them.

-this has lead to me mocking other companies in my car loudly. YEAH LETS GO DOMINOS ILL FUCKIN FIGHT U U WANNA GO PAPA JOHNS I’LL KICK UR ASS.

-i have never seen a pizza hut delivery car. i know pizza hut exists here. yet they seem to be a myth. terrifying.

-you will listen to the same pop song over and over. and over. and over. and over. it’s reached a point now where i flip through my presets and have to find the one i hate the least or at least have heard the least, and even then i find myself singing along to the ones i fucking hate to keep my sanity.

-i am so tired of ed sheeran’s shape of you guys.

-sometimes when i grow tired of the constant pop songs, i use the time alone in my car to practice character voices for my d&d campaign. i can only imagine how i look, having conversations with myself, in different voices, as i try to figure them out.

-sometimes people have dogs. it’s the best fucking thing in the world. one time there was this golden retriever sitting on the corner likely held back by an invisible fence thinger, and i drove by and this dog lost its fucking shit to see me. it was so excited to see me. i was like “SHHH DONT TELL MY BOSS” as i sprinted across the street to pet it

-even rarer, sometimes people have cats. that’s always a reason to be excited. most of the time i talk more to the pets than the customer, filling the awkward silence as they sign the receipt with “how are u buddy are u a good friend yes u are im giving ur owner pizza yes i am”

-i don’t know if this endears me to the owners or not, but typically pet owners give solid tips.

-one time i came across an address that had numerous military veteran stickers all over their apartment door proclaiming them to be a vet, etc etc. but they also had an “i love cats” sticker. they were an old man. it was the weirdest combination of facts about a human being i have witnessed.

-another man apparently got cortizone shots to his back. he ordered a large pizza and 4 diet cokes. his door was open. he asked me to come in. i gave him his food as he was on his hands and knees on the ground. i think he was lonely, as he kept talking to me about how big the needle was. he was like “you would have cried”. i said “yes i would have absolutely have a good day” and left. that was the end of our conversation.

-one time a lady got excited that i was a female pizza delivery driver. apparently they don’t get many. this seems to be the case as there’s only one other female pizza delivery driver. she works weekends with me. most of the ladies are counter girls. you’ll take my driver position from me over my cold dead hands.

-one time i accidentally switched the pizzas for a customer. one was a supreme, one had anchovies. the supreme house got anchovies, and they wanted their proper pizza. (anchovy house got the supreme and was startled when i went to their house with the wrong pizza. i was like “sorry about the mistake” they were like “what” i was like “.......you got the wrong pizza right” they were like “oh yeah hahah i didn’t care thanks for the pizza tho”) anchovy house, however, was the one who put in the call. they handed me back the anchovy pizza with disgust written all over their face, they were like “please take it back we don’t want it”. my only other food experience was in fast food where u don’t take back the food u trash it so i tried to argue. they were insistent. i returned to base with an anchovy pizza.

-when asking what do i do with the pizza, my boss was like trash it no one will want it. another driver did not realize it was anchovy, shouted “LET US EAT IT!”. saw it was anchovy. immediately said “nevermind”

-it was left on the top of the oven where the reject food goes.

-someone went to take a slice.

-speaking of reject food, that’s the biggest difference between the fast food place i did and the delivery place. in fast food, they trashed fuckin everything the customer returned. in pizza, the managers were like “fuck it bro have some pizza”. it gives me life.

-we got a call from someone the other day whose only instruction note was “exterminator friend!”

-he introduced himself as raul the exterminator.

-we do deliveries to an adult detention center (it’s just called the jail. that’s just what we call it). the other day we get an order back because one of the guards didn’t get the ketchup they wanted and were very upset. this lead to a following conversation between the driver and i:

me: “so they’ll arrest us for not bringing the ketchup huh”

him: “no, not for that. but when they do end up arresting us they’ll remember us for the ketchup and be nicer”

me: “so ur going to the jail to give them their ketchup”

him: “yup, but im goin home afterwards anyways”

me: “oh so it’s a ketchup drive by”

-he would later have a bag filled with several ketchup packets, ask if it was enough. i was like haha just fill it up all the way with ketchup. the driver was like nah then we’d look like assholes. and THEN when they arrest us they won’t be as nice.

-related to the jail, the second or third shift i did, my manager was like “so have you been to jail yet” i was very confused. i said no. this is when i found out we deliver to the jail, and also people get lost very easily in the jail and the guards tend to want to be ur buddy once they find out ur bringing them their food, but this process can take a very long time because they gotta make sure ur the food guy if they don’t recognize you or something. there is a lot of bureaucracy involved.

-my very very first delivery was a credit card receipt. i had no pen. i was sitting in my car, with no pen, screaming in agony because how was the customer supposed to sign. so i finally go “hello this is my first delivery ever. and i don’t have a pen. do you have a pen.”

-they had a pen.

-they gave me the pen. i was like “no take it”

-they were like “you will need it more than i will”

-i was very touched and used that pen all weekend until i guess i set it down on my desk and it escaped as pens are oft to do

-i still think of this blue pen and this friendly blue pen man. one day i hope to deliver to him again so i can thank him. one day, i will give him a pen.

[itstherene]

20/20 Vision

I started writing this 5 days before the end of 2019 with an intro of "It's 5 days before the end of the decade and there's so much memories and information to distill just so I can personally tie a ribbon on this year's whirlwind of an adventure." but it's about five days into the new decade and I just posted this.

Reality is, I'm overwhelmed whenever I look back on the past year because so much has changed. That includes myself on so many fronts. The goals that I set intentionally last 2018 on where I want to steer my life for the next five years was literally derailed this year. I'm very afraid of looking into the future because I'm scared of setting goals again for them to be derailed. I was fragile and struggled to survive.

However, I want 2020 to be awesome so I'm sitting myself down to continue what I started.

"But did you die tho?!"

There were too many transformations that happened last year. Some of them were deliberately initiated by me, some were forced upon me. But what I did was just to do the next right thing.

Some of the deliberate changes I made are decluttering my instagram profile(finally!), going on a Facebook and Twitter hiatus, and going freelance(as a result of a forced change). These forced changes include my old supervisor being let go and ending a relationship I worked so hard for. I lost my footing for a bit but I'm still here and writing this out so it must mean I've survived, right?

A few posts ago, I moped around the failure of my 2019. All the goals I've set for myself at the beginning of the year didn't make it to the end of the year. I felt like my life ended and I was so lost just because what I thought was a foolproof plan just failed altogether.

Looking back now, I recognize I was probably being overly dramatic. I just didn't know what to do so everything felt hopeless. I am better now. I'm writing this at the comfort of my home using the laptop that my client gave me and work has flexible times. I am happy with this arrangement.

I intend to stay happy as in I'm hoping that the decisions I made to prepare myself for the next year is enough to keep me happy. I am hoping to continue working freelance so I can have the flexibility and freedom to pursue my goals. I also chose to continue living far away from home for the most of the year for my mental health. At this moment, I am no longer in a relationship and I don’t intend to pursue one this coming year.

I’m contented with where I am now but I want to achieve more knowing that I am capable of being more. I’ve made a lot of decisions this year that I hope will help make 2020 better than my 2019. I feel that I’ve also recovered a bit from my 2018. Yes, two years ago. Recovery hasn’t been easy but I intend to be better.

What Next?

Setting goals can get quite overwhelming. No matter how many times I do it or how many ways these productivity gurus teach it, not one fits according to my life. That’s perfectly fine, I think. We live our lives differently and we all have different priorities. Sometimes we have the same priorities but different ways of getting it done. It is what it is. What's important is we figure out what works for us.

For me, I've decided to put my goals into three major categories: finance, health, and well-being. They sound like very adulting topics but I’m 28 now so I definitely need to be working on those categories. I'm going to take this one year at a time but I do hope I'll be able to carry it on to the next few years.

Finance

Gradually pay off debt and then save - I made very rash decisions on purchases that I accumulated a bit of debt. It’s not that I’m not capable of not paying it off but for some time, they weren’t my priorities. It’s high time I start paying it so it doesn’t bloat to gargantuan amount.

Make most use of my investments including paid subscriptions - there are investments that I made this year that I hoped that would help me progress and grow. They are supposed to but I have not made the most out of them. I want to be able to take advantage of these investments so it doesn’t feel like I’m just bleeding money out of me.

Create redundancies - at the moment, I am being compensated enough for my lifestyle but I know that I need to create redundancies so I don’t become so fragile when things don’t go accordingly. This is also to help save up and maybe start my own sustainable business before I turn 30.

Health

Buy a fridge so I can eat healthier - I didn't buy a fridge because getting delivery or eating out has been quite convenient in my living situation but I realized this year, a fridge would be a good investment into better health. I'll be able to buy produce in bulk and prolong their lives compared to when I had to go buy groceries every week.

Start low intensity exercise including gardening - I have accepted that my asthma and acid reflux are permanent obstacles to my life now. It's a bit late to undo those now but I can at least manage them with healthier lifestyle. As much as I want to swim as exercise, there's no pool close and cheap enough to my apartment. I also bought a yoga mat for meditation last year. I have a weighing scale too but I wasn't able to keep up with meditation and weight management last year. At least I've started it, it's a matter of making it stick this year. I've also decided to start my own herb garden. I'm not entirely confident if I can grow a full urban garden but I have a balcony with empty water bottles I can create self-watering planters with. It will require a bit of labor so it should be somewhat equivalent to a low intensity exercise. Just like the Japanese did it.

Drink water, bitch - I swear I've so many apps that come with keep track of water intake. Even my phone has it. Despite that, I haven't really established the habit of drinking water consistently. I might need to subscribe to a weekly water refilling service so there's that. I have started it too but like above, it's a matter of making it stick.

Mental Health

Hobbies are healthy - play Stardew Valley, learn photography, read books, write stories, paint more. Hobbies provide respite from the daily hustle. I just need to remind myself not to drown in them since I tend to overwhelm myself. Just please don't overwhelm yourself. I'm not going to drop dead tomorrow so there's no point on cramming everything into a 24-hour day. Even if I do die tomorrow, I've done enough things in my life to fill up an achievement book. It is time to slow down.

Clean ten minutes a day - my physical space is closely linked to my mental well-being.  I like cleaning for that reason but I tend to do it in bulks which gets tiring really fast. Instead of having a full productive day, I end up spending half a day cleaning then passing out the rest of the day. I live alone so I should be able to clean my space for 10 minutes per day. Deep cleaning should be reserved for once a month.

Daily Stoic - I found this ebook last year that's basically a stoicisim challenge. I've always been fascinated with stoicism because I'm an emotionally intense person(hello, Scorpies). I'm looking into managing my emotions better so that changes don't push me into panic mode whenever it happens. I believe stoicism might also be key to lesser anxiety attacks for me.

Staying on track

There's quite a lot to keep track so I have few tools to help me with. I decided I'll only be using three analogue system but various digital tools. This is to lessen clutter in my small space. I'm also looking into making the most use of my iPad. Not just for entertainment.

My three analogue tools are the Sunnies Agenda 2020 for monthly and weekly schedule, Kairu silver kisses notebook for collecting ideas, and an old sketchbook for ephemeras. I know that the uses of these tools can also be digitized but I deliberately bought these things to motivate me into planning. Even the pen(M&G Office G 0.5 in black) I'm using is to motivate me to write. I'm keeping it to three tools so I don't get overwhelmed, too.

My digital tools are a mess. As much as I want to use Notion for everything, there are some functionality on other apps that are more helpful such as Habitica's gamifying daily habits and Grid Diary with its journaling prompts. I also want to make use of Diaro and Goodnotes since I paid for those. Diaro has a built in mood tracker and Goodnotes lets me handwrite notes. I'll be using my phone's Jovi assistant for water tracking, Asana Rebel for yoga, 30-day fitness for nutrition, and Headspace for meditation. My tools are all over the place but I haven't build a system that would allow me to have it all without the hassle of set up.

2020 feels like a big year to tackle. I can conquer it and make it amazing or just go with the flow and have a mediocre year. I don't want to set a lot of things in stone because I'm afraid life will come crashing in like a wrecking ball again but I want my actions to at least lead to something productive. Here's to hoping.-T

[surveystodestressme]

59.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 14

1301. Can “what you don’t know” actually hurt you? i mean, no. 1302. Are you pondering what I’m pondering? probably not 1303. What people or objects would you describe as “pure”? babies, uhh... idk what else 1304. Are you into bookcrossing (If you aren’t sure, check out www.bookcrossing.com)? no idea what that is 1305. Have you ever had a pen pal? yep! i think i have one now except we just talk online instead of sending letters

1306. Have you ever had a package pal (same as a pen pal but you send each other surprise gifts instead of letters)? that’d be so cool but no 1307. Is there a particular word or phrase that annoys you? i hate when people say “i haven’t seen you in a minute” that shit is SO annoying to me 1308. Is there an online game you like to play? i like to play tons of online games 1309. What group of people is the most discriminated against in your opinion or experience? recently it’s been black people, at least in the area that i live in. 1310. What do you like best about bras and underwear? the designs or fabrics 1311. Are you afraid of living in oblivion? kind of 1312. Before you were born you got to pick your life from one of these. Which do you pick? You are successful from the start, a musical genius, good looking, wealthy. You become a rock tar, get super famous, make your mark on the world and die at 27. You are caring and compassionate. You love animals and adopt more and more as you grow older. You foster and nurture and care for them all of your life. <—- this one because I LOVE ANIMALS AND WANT TO DO THIS IN MY LIFE CURRENTLY ANYWAYS You sit home playing video games for 70 years. 1313. What is broken in your: Car? the check engine light is always on but i think it’s a messed up sensor or something (not my car tho just the one i drive from time to time) School? the vending machine gets my food stuck in it alll the time and i have to put extra money in House? our upstairs shower is caulked correctly so it leaks into the shelving and it sucks Life? my motivation. Soul? my lack of ambition??? idk Brain? i just have anxiety if that counts 1314. Which one will you fix first? the shower would be nice 1315. Tell me all your thoughts on god: i do not believe that there is a god.  i think religion is very interesting to learn about but i do not believe there is some magical man in the sky who controls the world and watches over everything.  that seems a little farfetched to me 1316. What is the strangest note you’ve ever received? uhhh i don’t know.  i used to send notes to my friend in pig latin when we were in middle school 1317. Of the following how many can be used to get in touch with you? Phone Beeper Voice mail Email Cell phone Snail mail all but the beeper. 1318. Are you always available/easy to reach, or do you give people a chance to miss you? i’m usually pretty easy to get ahold of 1319. If you got pregnant or impregnated the person you are with now (hypothetical if there is no one in your life just now) would you lean more towards keeping, adopting out, or aborting the baby? i have so many problems with this question because i feel like i wouldn’t know unless i was in the situation.  i do not ever want kids.  i want to say that if i got pregnant right now that i would put it up for adoption but i feel like i would probably have to abort it... 1320. If your partner in the pregnancy did not agree with how you felt and pressured you to change your mind or just went ahead with what he or she wanted to do against your wishes, would that affect your ability to continue your relationship with this person? he knows how i feel, and he agrees.  we’ve talked about it several times 1321. Who should have the final say in the decision to have a baby, the woman or the man? the woman 1322. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you for the first time, do you forgive him or her and take him or her back? i want to say that i’d leave him, but i know it would be hard 1323. What if it is your husband or wife that cheats on you? i’d get divorced because i would never be able to trust them again 1324. Who is more responsible for educating children, parents or schools? i feel like it should be a little of both.  there are tons of things that aren’t taught at schools and should be the responsibility of the parents to then teach at home 1325. Are you into new age things? yes. 1326. Are you very: Nervous? all the time Anxious? yeah High strung? on occasion Organized? most of the time Tense? sometimes. Rigid? i don’t think so Skeptical? nah. 1327. Do you perceive reality differently from others? How? i don’t know 1328. If you asked someone, “Do you masturbate?” and he or she says, “No,” would you assume he or she was lying? probably, tbh 1329. What do you blame things on? depends on the situation 1330. Do you want to be naked and famous? no???? 1331. Ice Cube or LL Cool J? ice cube 1332. What are your feelings about rap music? i'm okay with some of it 1333. Cypress Hill or Roxy Music? don;t know wither of these BSB or N'sync or NKOTB? bsb. Debbie Gibson or Paula Abdul? paula abdul Eminem or Kid Rock? eminem. Weezer or the Get Up Kids? weezer 1334. If you could solve just one of the world’s problems what would you choose to solve? cure for cancer. 1335. Would you make a good: Counselor? probably not, tbh. i give good advice but like sometimes i just don’t know what to say Visual artist? this would be cool but idk if it’s for me Teacher? no bc i hate kids Pilot? i’m afraid of heights lol Secretary? i feel like it would be too boring Cashier? i do a good job at that now Waiter or waitress? yeah Veterinary assistant? that’s what i’m going to school for !!!!!! so i hope so Office manager? yeah Stage manager? probably Actor or actress? i think i am a terrible actress plus i get so nervous in front of crowss Sales girl or guy? yes. Pizza delivery girl or guy? i wouldn’t mind it Film director? maybe Business man or woman? no CEO? no Surgeon? not for humans Fire man or woman? nope Cop? nooo. 1336. Do you check condoms to see if they are expired before using them? nope but i probably should 1337. Imagine you are in school and a person of the opposite sex you barely know asks you really nicely for a ride home from class (yes, you have a car). It’s out of your way. Do you say yes? not if i barely know them Let’s say you said yes. S/he hugs you. What is your reaction? since i barely know this person i would think this is really odd As you drop him or her off s/he hugs you again and thanks you for being such a nice person. What do you make of all this? i would think the hug is odd but i’d just say you’re welcome and drive off 1338. Are you interested in post-apocalyptic (post-nuclear war) movies? yeah 1339. What is the saddest movie you ever saw? romeo and juliet is pretty sad 1340. What is the saddest thought you can think of? watching someone you love die 1341. Who is the most horrible driver you know? me lol 1342. Are you a sexist in any way? nah 1343. How often do you check your email? as often as i can 1344. How often do you check your diary for notes? everyday 1345. If you had to read a biography about someone, who would you pick? morgan freeman 1346. Which of your friends and relatives has the most interesting life story? my grandparents 1347. What’s the matter with kids today? they’re not disciplined 1348. How do you feel about censorship? i don’t think we need censorship honestly 1349. What was on the last CD you burned? a bunch of 90s rap 1350. What movie should be released on DVD but hasn’t been released yet? i don’t really get dvds anymore 1351. Have you ever wished for wings that work? no 1352. Have you ever imagined that you are not really of this world? yeah sometimes 1353. Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? two, actually.  one named stacey who always flew on a magic carpet.  and dawalls which were literally the walls.  my siblings and i talked to the walls when we were younger 1354. Do you still have imaginary friends? no. 1355. Do you enjoy reading children’s books? sometimes i guess 1356. Are you decadent? idk 1357. What would make you happy that money cannot buy? love. 1358. What would make you happy that money can buy? a new car 1359. Where do you hang out on your spare time? my house or jack’s 1360. Do you delight in minor euphoria? idk what that is. 1361. It’s (what time is it?) ______. 12:13 am Do you know where your: Mom is? at stef’s Dad is? at work First boyfriend or girlfriend is? i have no idea honestly Boy or girlfriend is? in the same room as me Best friend is? in the same room as me Soul mate is? in the same room as me Wallet is? in the same room as me, in my purse 1362. Who do you feel sorry for? no one right now 1363. What will you never say in front of your parents? there’s not much that i wouldn’t say in front of my parents 1364. Do you change your personality and behavior depending on who you are with? no 1365. Are you waiting for marriage to lose your virginity? lol no 1366. What year were you born? 1996 1367. What is your sign? aries 1368. What year did you/will you graduate from high school? 2014 1369. Do you use moisturizer? just recently started to 1370. On what parts of your body? my face and neck 1371. Are the 70’s back in style? lol not that i know of 1372. Do you read any magazines? no. 1373. Do you read before going to sleep at night? sometimes. 1374. Are you a music maker? nah 1375. Are you a dreamer of the dreams? i guess??? 1376. How do you feel about large corporations? whatever. 1377. How do you feel about people who are, “just doing their job”? ^ 1378. Which would you watch of these choices: Pitch black The mummy This Pretty woman 1380. About what percent of the time do you feel good about yourself? 80% 1381. Do you feel comfortable with other people (in social situations)? for the most part 1382. Do you have good friends/family relationships? yes. 1383. How do you control your tension and anxiety? i don’t lol 1384. Are you able to meet the demands of life and function in society? kind of 1385. Do you curb your feelings of hatred and guilt? sometimes 1386. Do you maintain a positive outlook? yes. 1387. Does knowing you enrich the lives of others? i couldn’t say 1388. What things do you cherish? the people i love, a roof over my head, food on my table, a job, school 1389. To what extent do you value diversity? very much so. 1390. What fascinates you? the world around me and what’s happening in it 1391. Do you appreciate nature? yeah 1392. If you could be someone else for a day who would you be? morgan freeman 1393. Would you ever consider ‘psychic surgery’ if you were ill? idek what that is How about voodoo? probably not Herbal remedies? maybe 1394. How effective do you feel meditation is? i’ve done it before, i mean it’s kind of relaxing 1395. How effective do you feel prayer is? not at all tbh 1396. How do you think that you (or anyone, for that matter) could pray without ceasing? idk 1397. Is religion a live option for you (that is, a possibility, something you are drawn to even if you have no belief)? i guess it could be 1398. What part of your body do you lavish the least attention and love on? tummy 1399. How many clocks are in your house? at least 10 1400. What topics would you like to see more of on this survey? different varieties

[djmaza4u-blog]

Best Inventions of 2016

Every year, TIME selects the most effective inventions that area unit creating the globe higher, smarter and—in some cases—a very little a lot of fun. within the past, we’ve featured everything from the real-life hoverboard to the desktop deoxyribonucleic acid science lab. Here’s which of them created this year’s ungraded list. 1) The Levitating electric light Since he was a baby, Simon Morris has been obsessed on creating objects float in point. At one purpose he even managed to show a skateboard into a hoverboard, tho’ as he remembers it, “I couldn’t ride on that.” currently he’s applying that very same passion to Flyte, a electric light that depends on electromagnetism to levitate and spin, and on resonant inductive coupling—a technical term for wireless power ­transmission—to shine. Morris sees his style as a seamless mix of science and art compliance each pragmatists, like Thomas Alva Edison, and dreamers, like Tesla.

And shoppers seem to agree: Morris says Flyte has sold thus well since its official Gregorian calendar month launch that his team is getting to introduce a full scheme of floating product, together with a planter, Lyfe, that debuted in Gregorian calendar month. “We’re simply scratching the surface,” he says. 2) The Folding Bike Helmet Like several cyclists, Jeff writer has been concerned in an exceedingly serious crash—one that may have killed him were it not for his helmet. So why, he questioned, do such a large amount of of his contemporaries refuse to wear one? seems, it’s mostly because they’re hard to carry around; they’re thick and bulky, and don’t fit into bags or backpacks. And that was a problem that Woolf, an engineer, knew he could fix. The result: Morpher, a bike helmet made from interweaved plastics that is just as strong as its traditional counterparts (it meets general safety requirements in both the U.S. and Europe), but flexible enough to fold almost totally flat, making it easier to transport. Woolf recently shipped the first units to his Indiegogo backers, who helped raise almost $300,000; he’s now in talks with stores too. “It’s inevitable that as more people take to the road on a bicycle, more people will have accidents,” Woolf says, adding that he hopes Morpher will save lives. 3) Solar Panels That Don’t Stick Out Help the environment, save some money—and litter your roof with bulky metal boxes. That’s the dilemma home-solar-panel buyers have faced for years. Tesla’s response: the Solar Roof, a series of tiles designed to blend together while also harnessing the power of the sun. The product line, which will be available next year, is a collaboration between Tesla and SolarCity, a longtime provider of traditional solar panels. (The former is set to acquire the latter.) And although pricing information has not yet been released, SolarCity CEO Lyndon Rive is optimistic about Solar Roof’s potential. “It’s addressing a new segment,” he says, referring to the 5 million Americans who install new roofs each year, some of whom might want to go solar. 4) Shoes That Tie Themselves Almost everyone who sees Back to the Future wants three things: a time-traveling DeLorean, a working hoverboard and a pair of self-lacing shoes. Now, because of Greek deity, the shoe dream could be a reality. once wearers press a button close to the tongue, the HyperAdapt one.0s mechanically tighten and loosen around their foot. And though this technology might sound flippant, it’s not only for kicks: simplified shoe fastening may provide athletes a footing throughout competition, and it’s particularly helpful for individuals with impaired motor perform. “We’re already seeing powerful feedback” from the disabled community, says Tinker Hatfield, Nike’s vp of style and special comes. 5)Soccer Fields That Fit Anywhere

The Khlong Toei district within the heart of capital of Thailand is packed tight with buildings and ­people—which doesn’t leave a lot of area to create new parks, not to mention large rectangular fields on that children will play football game. thus realty firm AP Asian nation took a distinct approach. As a part of a recent project, the corporate used aerial photography to search out what developer Pattaraphurit Rungjaturapat calls “untended areas,” or unco formed patches of land that weren’t being employed.

Then it lined them with concrete, paint and anti­slip ­materials—all the trimmings of a correct sports venue, while not the everyday boundaries. Not that locals appear to mind: Rungjaturapat says the primary 2 fields, that opened earlier this year, area unit packed with children as presently as college lets out. This December, AP Asian nation plans to open a 3rd. 6) The receiver Leading a Virtual Revolution In order to access the foremost up-to-date video game, individuals usually ought to dish out thousands of dollars—not only for a receiver (like the $800 HTC Vive), except for a laptop that’s powerful enough to support it. Sony’s PlayStation VR, in contrast, is intended to figure with a console that variant individuals already own: the PlayStation four. That’s a boon for gamers in search of what Sony engineer Richard Marks calls “the most intense, most extreme” action, as well as casual consumers, who now have an easier way to experience VR. 7) Cannabis That Could Replace Pills Millions of Americans rely on over-the-­counter medicine to treat routine complications such as insomnia and headaches. What if they took hits of pot instead? That’s what California-­based ­Hmbldt is banking on with its new line of vaporizer pens. When inhaled, the pens dispense a dose of cannabis oil that ­Hmbldt says has been chemically engineered to make people feel a certain way—calm, sleepy, relieved of pain—­without getting high. Cannabis-­delivery methods like this one haven’t yet been thoroughly vetted by physicians. But as more states legalize medical marijuana, and more studies show that it does have merits, products like ­Hmbldt’s (now available only in California) could become increasingly commonplace. “This really can help people feel better,” says Jason ­DeLand, the company’s head of strategy. 8) The Ultimate Alarm Clock It’s hard to believe that an alarm clock—the cruel, clunky gadget that jolts you awake and ruins your morning—could not only be beautiful but also improve your sleep. That it could gauge the temperature, humidity, light and even air quality in your bedroom to help you engineer a perfect sleep environment. That it could monitor your sleep cycles and wake you when you’re least likely to feel groggy—all thanks to simple voice commands. Indeed, Sense (and its companion pillow sensor) is no ordinary alarm clock. It took hundreds of prototypes to get it right, says James Proud, founder and CEO of Hello, which makes Sense. Early adopters report that using the small glowing orb feels almost as natural as crawling into bed. That was key, says Proud, who adds, “Nobody wants to introduce complexity into their lives, least of all when it comes to sleep.”[read more...]

Content credit: MRJATT