#the pencil danny is referenced

[surlifen]

a Grey Matter thing i didn’t like, an elfman i didn’t like, No Spill Blood and Only A Lad

[lancteu]

no clue if i’ll be able to finish the actual drawing anytime soon bc of my pen predicament so have the off-brand lookin sketch for now

[book-o-scams]

Ed, Edd n Eddy Series Bible (1996) -Analysis-

You can all finally read/download Ed, Edd n Eddy's official Series Bible right here! Thanks again to Chuckletons for sharing this with me and to Joey/Kongiscool0518 for sharing it in the first place, the Holy Grail of lost Ed, Edd n Eddy trivia!

One of the first posts I made for this blog was the Series Bible page. It was a composite of every source we had ever seen reference the series bible so far-- storyboarders in interviews, CN's old character guides, and the biggest source, an old CN UK posting about the show. Well, I figure now that we have the official source, I better update the old page (so everyone knows it's out of date), and make this new Series Bible post using the official source! Not much new information, but I was intrigued to finally learn the true phrasings of some things we had only heard paraphrased, as well as at least one detail from the movie that I couldn't believe came up this early in conception...

Unfortunately, Tumblr has apparently updated its post system to only let me add 10 images? Gonna try and only use images for what I need since you can read the actual document above, I guess I'll transcribe it too for easier reference and so we don't ever lose some archive of this.

Quickly, let's review what a series bible is:

A series bible is how creators pitch shows to networks. They can be called “pitch bibles” as well. Bibles do not usually get posted publicly, because they are initially under a strict Non-Disclosure Agreement by the network; also the creator may simply not wish to share it because it reflects the earliest stages of development.

The pitch materials typically include early concepts for characters, locations and episodes. Sometimes it exposes secrets, in this case, Ed and Eddy’s home lives, and sometimes the stuff in it is completely abandoned because it’s so early in production, in this case, casual references to school and adults.

Alright, everybody, it's time to gather 'round and read the Ed, Edd n Eddy Bible!

THE YEAR IS 1996.

YOUR NAME IS LINDA SIMENSKY. YOU WORK AT CARTOON NETWORK. A FRIEND OF YOURS, DANNY ANTONUCCI, IS WRAPPING UP A SHOW ON MTV. YOU GET THIS FAX.

Linda Simensky immediately fell in love with this concept because as a child, she was best friends with 2 other Lindas for seemingly no reason other than the shared name.

I love how Danny decided last second to pencil in the correct names over each Ed, since they're arranged out of title-order.

"They're friends because they have the same name."

-the Logline for the series.

Fun fact: one storyboard artist for the movie observed that the movie is essentially all about challenging the series' original notion that the Eds are friends ONLY because of their name.

"A Danny Antonucci Cartuna"

-the label Danny used to use under announcements of new productions.

PAGE 1:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

They're best friends because they have the same name.

A gag laden, beat generated CARTOON bumper car ride of 3 misfit youths on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America.

Through summer vacation, part-time jobs, or just hang'n out at the corner mail box, they want to belong....but CAN'T.

From home chores, helping neighbors or eating jaw breakers, they want to fit in...but CAN'T.

Ed is into "B" monster movies, model kits and is quick to break out into rashes.

Lots of luck...

Edd is into chemistry, biology and prone to crushes.

Later...

Eddy is into pranks, is stylish and flaunts himself to the world.

Ya Right...

Ed, Edd n Eddy is a show about confusion and contradiction, that awkward part of youth, pimples, big feet, oily hair and... girls???.

Puberty is unforgiving.

I was fascinated by the lack of art on this page, it makes the pitch feel very focused. AKA logo in the corner, the title logo again up top, then the logline appears again below.

I really love the breakdown of Danny's vision of the show. "Gag-laden, beat-generated, CARTOON bumper ride." Very accurate, and I think "beat-generated" is the phrase that interests me the most. I typically think of "animation beats" as sort of a give-in-- technically all things fit a rhythm, so all stories are essentially just a montage of beats. But this does make me realize how important the strength of the beats and their rhythm are to the pacing of a cartoon and making you feel like "that was a good one." I feel like the "seasonal rot" viewers feel over the course of a show, and the way that perception differs from person to person, depends on the type of beats you want. Even though I am very into the experimental beats of a show in its later seasons, I can definitely see how season 1's beats are more typically appealing to a wide-audience, and how important a focus on that is to the longevity of a show.

I found it really interesting how the scams are initially conceived of here as "summer jobs." It adds to the sense that adults were originally meant to be present. Honestly a little surprised nobody with access to this bible had ever thought to mention that-- scams are not referenced ANYWHERE. Their image in the Series Bible is that they have summer jobs and help neighbors, which is certainly a much cleaner reputation than the Eds ended up with in the show. Makes me realize though, were some of the early scams, like Ed's Hive Bee Gone and their newspaper routes, supposed to be leaning into this early idea of them with almost legit jobs for unseen adults?

I was very amused by the repeated phrase that the Eds simply CAN'T fit in.

Loved to finally see the official phrasing for the confirmation that Peach Creek is in America. Not much different than I was led to believe, but still nice to have the true quote.

Also love Eddy being described as "stylish and flaunting himself to the world." The bold-print reactions to each micro-description is a cute idea too, I truly wonder who we were meant to picture saying those things in reaction. Each Ed? Kevin?

The "corner mail box" is an oddly specific phrase-- the Eds do hang around mailboxes throughout the series, especially seasons 1-3, and I believe the canon map does have a corner mailbox, but the idea that the Eds hang out at one specific mailbox went the way of Bro's supposed secret treehouses.

PAGE 2:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

Show Description

Gag laden. True cartoon style, inventive, non parody, fast paced, stretch and squash

Beat driven. (even when characters stop they hold with a bounce cycle. Adults never bounce. Music can play important part, not just fill.) But not a musical.

Cartoon surrealism. (viewers see the show as Ed, Edd n Eddy would, less important things tend to blend into the background, while objects of Ed, Edd n Eddy's desires are focused. Premise driven.)

The school year's over, (yeah!!!!) and the long HOT summer vacation begins (gulp). What to do?

Stuck on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America is the last place you want to spend summer break, especially when you find life confusing and contradicting.

Ed, Edd n Eddy is about friendship, and serves to remind us that they're no "good ole days," just smelly runners.

You can tackle anything, when your with your pals.

Their days are spent, for knowledge, acceptance and some cash for jaw breakers. Armed with pimples, big feet and oily hair the three amigos trek into the unknown.

Ed, Edd n Eddy are dying to be grown-ups, but they're kids, and attack adulthood as only kids would. Simple situations turn into a manic rollercoaster ride. (Don't forget your barf bag).

They just want to belong, and they're willing to pull off any insane stunt to prove it. First they need to figure out what it is they want to belong to.

Found it interesting that on this page, the show's logo is replaced with the title written in a jumbled font. Seems like the font from the show's end credits.

Hehe, the continued reactions to the descriptions. Allow me to be Double D for a moment and point out the increased use of parentheticals on this page, as well as one wrong "your".

I love Danny's insight that season 1 is framed by the context of how hyped everyone still is just to be out of school, but also the sense of pressure to make use of their break.

I really appreciate Danny getting further into the details of his summary of the show's style on the previous page. It only makes sense that he had this much of a vision that early.

A second confirmation of the cul-de-sac being in America! I'm also really into the repeated focus on the Eds finding the world "contradicting." I always loved how EEnE's inexplicable cartoon antics supported that sense that the Eds are highly aware of contradictions in both societal things and the actual characters.

WOW, so I'm fascinated by this dual reveal. Before the wiggling outlines, which Danny usually calls a "boiling line" and describes as a tribute to wiggling inking in early animation, the series bible instead refers to him wanting the characters to do the iconic Fleischer "bounce," which is a much more commonly recognized rubberhose animation technique. Very interesting that Danny decided not to stick to that. Did it feel too out of place? Or was the overseas team not willing to animate a weight-shifting for every single held pose? Haha, guess I can see why boiling was an easier compromise. I wonder if he had any other ideas for how to make it more of a 1930s cartoon.

The other reveal to me here is that the movie's choice, that adults don't always wiggle in the show, was an idea from the very beginning! I guess I can better understand now why it's just too difficult to communicate a stylistic choice like that overseas-- no point making Bro not wiggle, that'd just create confusion.

Also, really disappointed that my wish for a musical is officially squashed in the series bible itself. That's a tragedy. The show's over, ya couldn't let me dream, Danny!? Conversely, I love Danny's forethought to say "non parody," I definitely noticed and appreciated EEnE's avoidance of derivative parody humor.

My spouse had to point out to me that Danny probably means sneakers here, lol. Canadianisms!

The comments about the Eds wanting to grow up but needing to figure out what they want to belong to are so great and relate to the movie so well. I've heard those comments before, but the correct phrasing was cool to see.

PAGE 3:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Ed in right corner)

Character Description

Ed

Attention deficiency syndrome.

He has trouble...

He can't....um...

OK, he draws all day in class.

When Eddy gets a bright idea...Ed's in.

Ed is easily talked into doing Eddy's "hard work". He has great physical strength.

Ed's happiest with his Model kits and B-monster movies. He draws his knowledge from his movies.

Ed smells. Flies are attracted to him.

Ed has sayings for all situations

ED: "you can change your shirt, and Bingo was his name..."

Ed's perpetually a slave to his younger sister's whims and whines.

Ed may have to baby-sit his sister, or let her watch whatever she wants on TV, or let her dress him up in mom's clothes.

Ed breaks out in Rashes. He's allergic to practically everything, especially Guinea Pigs.

Ed's Mom xerox's his sketches and doodles for her therapist.

Ed's Dad hopes to pass on to his son, his knowledge on "pre-owned" auto sales.

Very cute bit wasting the space at the top of the page. Danny seems very invested in Ed's personality already. The old sources we used to have definitely tried to condense these down to simpler blurbs.

Weird how Danny wants to essentially diagnose Ed with ADHD here (phrasing it very poorly, but it was the 90s and... Canada?). I don't know enough on the subject to debate it, but I still gotta point out Ed's canonical cracked skull!

Interested in the comment about Ed being most allergic to Guinea Pigs. I don't think that animal was ever even mentioned in the show. Eddy mentioned an old gerbil once....

Neat to finally have the real phrasing of the official word on Ed's parents! I saw someone comment earlier that this seems to be hinting Ed's Dad is selling stolen cars. I've never thought to question the legality of his apparent second-hand-car dealership (I imagined he works with Eddy's dad, who has received a legitimate award for his salesmanship), but those quotation marks are certainly making Mr. Ed's practices questionable! Best case scenario, Danny meant that more like italics or something, but maybe Ed's dad IS up to no good...

PAGES 4 & 5 (Ed's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 6:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Edd in right corner)

Character Description

Edd

is really smart.

is really quiet.

Edd is unnaturally-- polite.

Edd hasn't been allowed to take gym ever since the Dodge ball incident. He's been excused to free study time in the library.

Edd doesn't like it when people touch his things.

EDD: "You may enter in my room, but don't touch my Lego robot. Thank you."

Edd's learning to play Peddle steel guitar. (his Mom makes him)

Edd's prone to "crushes". Girls in School, in his neighborhood, TV, anatomy books. He mails "true loves" his socks.

Edd is always ready for action, even though he can calculate the implications.

Edd constantly mumbles.

No one ever sees Edd's parents. They both work nights. They communicate to their son solely through Post-it notes. Edd's not allowed to touch anything in the house while they're gone. Anything.

Interesting how Danny slightly differentiates the barely-used space at the top here from Ed's description, to characterize Edd as more quiet and mumbly, adding an awkward "--" mid-sentence, perhaps to create the impression that Edd halts to choose words carefully.

Everything on this page feels familiar, from the character guides and other old sources. The most interesting thing to me here is that Edd's Mom forcing him to practice Pedal Steel Guitar is established this early, don't think I knew that, but I had noticed that it existed in his room from ep 1.

I love how the explanation in the beginning for why Edd goes along with their dumb schemes even though he's smart is basically just "he's always ready for action." ?!? I guess in a way???

That weirdly phrased Edd quote amuses me because it references Lego, just like the original concept background for his room before somebody nixed the copyright-namedrop.

Edd's prone to crushes thing has been reaffirmed over and over in character bios even though it really doesn't come up outside of the cupid magic in HPH and the pilot-episode heart eyes at Sarah that are barely canon. Still, I've always loved the truly disturbing statement that he mails "his true loves his socks" and how that managed to make it into canon with a comic book example, a cel animation example and a digital era example.

PAGES 7 & 8 (Edd's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 9:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Eddy in right corner)

Character Description

Eddy

Exhibitionist.

Megalomaniac. (quote from his report card)

Eddy is the unofficial leader of the trio.

He's always got a plan, a stunt or a weird noise.

Eddy's the "class clown". He loves showing off. He loves being the centre of attention-- no matter how stupid the reason is.

Eddy is the only kid in his grade to have been expelled for aw hole week from school. It was his turn to set up the video for science class. He switched "Our Friend Yeast", for a video he "borrowed" from his parent's room.

Before Eddy's brother went....away, he enlightened Eddy with the "legends" of the neighbourhood. Eddy knows where all the abandoned tree houses are, which sewer pipers are safe to spelunk, and the secret recipe for the "El Mongo Stink Bomb" (it's been in the family for years).

He is the one who is most able to pretend that he knows it all... and doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him.

His genes are working the fastest.

Eddy's Dad is constantly concerned that Eddy may grow up to be a ...figure skater.

Eddy's Mom never believes his little darling was involved in such a heinous act.

Funny choice that Eddy's wasted-top-space is just two one-word descriptions, and allegedly lazily swiped from his negative report card.

Wow, we knew the report card quote and the "Our Friend Yeast" story from the UK show guide, but now we also know Ed's page says that Ed draws in class, and now I realize that Ed and Eddy have series bible school blurbs to match Edd's classic dodgeball incident blurb. Anyway, it's great that Eddy's showed his entire school some sort of sex video his parents have.

Very interested that the phrasing for the Bro/El Mongo Stink Bomb blurb even seems to suggest it's a family recipe. Eddy's Dad did have prankster stuff in his closet in JJJ... did Bro learn his prankster ways from Dad?? The neighborhood's secret tree houses have come up in other descriptions (at best, I'd say this could be related to that creepy shack the Eds found in the woods), but I think it's new info that Eddy personally learned the sewer routes from Bro. Interesting...

Thankfully, I had already heard about the Bible's awkward reference to Eddy being the most pubescent as "his genes are working the fastest," lmao.

Once again the Double D in me comes out to point out that the description of Eddy's Mom seems to switch to the Dad's pronouns.

PAGES 10 & 11 (Eddy's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGES 12-14 (Sarah, Jimmy, Rolf, Jonny, Nazz, and Kevin lineup of all 6, then 2 zoomed in lineups of the first 3 kids and last 3 kids)

(Funfact: the kids' designs were allegedly freelanced to an outside studio, hence why their refined later-season designs are so different from these lizardy starting places, lmao)

PAGE 15: (images of Sarah and Jimmy next to their blurbs)

SARAH

Ed's baby Sister.

It's her way or the Highway.

She has everything done for her, if NOT she'll "make" them do it.

She can be quick to judge.

Whinney.

A tatrum for every occasion.

More than a handful for Ed...or Edd and Eddy.

Thinks Edd is kinda cute.

Wants Eddy to MOVE...to another planet.

JIMMY

Sarah's best friend

He is always playing with girls, boys are just too tough.

He is accident prone, when ever we see him he has a different affliction, ie: band-aids, patches, casts, lumps...etc.

He is very clean.

The Ed's frighten him, "They're such brutes".

I'm surprised how much of the UK guide was accurate to what was really in the bible for them! Also surprised Danny misspelled "whiney" and "tantrum," one right after the other. Is this how Sarah spells them? ...Sorry, Danny, I yam what I yam.

PAGE 16: (images of Rolf and Jonny next to their blurbs)

ROLF

First generation of a landed immigrant family.

Nationality not important.

He's proud of his heritage.

He has peculiar traditions and/or customs.

He eats "weird" things.

He has hair on his back..... "yuck".

He confuses the Ed's to no end.

He confuses the other kids to no end.

JONNY 2x4

He is a wanderer and very inquisitive

From early morning to supper time, he is always outside playing, with his buddy, "Plank".

"Plank" is a wooden board that Jonny drew a face on with a crayon.

Jonny has wonderful conversations with Plank. ...Plank is a piece of wood.

Jonny makes himself very "accessible" to the Ed's.

Found it interesting that Rolf's bio is less clearly phrased than the UK bio set it up to be-- there they made it sound more like he mixes up who the Eds/kids are, here it's unclear whether it means that or (more likely) just means the obvious statement that everyone finds him confusing. If it's that, what a lame hollow bio Rolf got. This kid's based on you Danny, show some of that personal side!

Always loved Jonny's description, his life sounds so cute. Playing outside literally all day. Interesting to have it confirmed that Jonny drew Plank's face, I preferred to think the Eds drew him and sold him to Jonny, but whatever.

"Accessible" has always been an important vague description of Jonny to me. It really only applies to how chummy they could be with him in season 1, but it still sorta applies to his personality throughout the series as well.

PAGE 17: (images of Nazz and Kevin next to their blurbs)

NAZZ

She's cool, calm and assertive.

She is the most matured of the kids, or so she thinks.

She's into make-up and fashion magazines and Boys.

Sarah thinks she's awesome, wants to be just like her when she grows up.

When she enters a scene, all activity stops... boys freeze, they sweat, their hearts beat faster and faster. They lose their ability to talk. When she leaves, they recover and conclude it was something They ate.

She thinks the Ed's are funny.

KEVIN

He is cynical and sarcastic.

He thinks he knows the "routine". That's because he watches "60 Minutes".

It got a big laugh out of me that Kevin's description is only 2 sentences long. Nazz even has a more detailed character description from inception than Kevin. Love this for them.

Who's the Eds' rival? Well, he's cynical, sarcastic and he watches 60 Minutes, doesn't that tell you enough!?

I love the "mature... or so she thinks" remark about Nazz, a grounded flaw for her to have, being a little overcommitted to being mature like Eddy. It also perhaps suggests naiveté that makes it a little more reasonable that they didn't notice they were dumbing her down at the end of the series, but I do think the movie version of her better reflects the Bible's concept.

PAGE 18:

The Other Neighborhood Kids

Lineup of May, Lee and Marie.

The Kanker Sisters

These gals are tough. They bother, bully, provoke and bewilder everyone.

They live in a motor home park on the other side of the Cul-de-sac. The other kids have never been there.

They are proud of their Tammy Faye Baker memorabilia.

Their project "Cooking with Ketchup" closed down their school for a whole week.

No one likes them, especially the Eds.

They are determined to marry the Eds. They want them to do their dishes.

Amused that the Kankers are essentially being labeled backgrounds characters here, the role they mostly fell into in season 5. "Other" neighborhood kids...

I love that the Kankers have a school blurb to match each of the Eds', and that theirs has similar destructive-intentions to Eddy's video premiere story.

I believe all of this was all known from the UK guide as well, but still, neat stuff!

PAGES 19 & 20 (zoomed in Kanker lineup and their height chart with the Eds)

PAGES 21 & 22 (early promo art that used to be on CN's old Eds webpage, the art of the Eds eating jawbreakers at the end of ep 1 with the overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy love JAWBREAKERS!!!", and the art of the Eds all running with overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy see something shiny...."Jiggers." That weird "jiggers" statement at the end was normally edited out and I don't know what it means. Looked it up and it seems to be Chinook jargon (like when Ed said he was "skookum at X's and O's") usually said in the same sense as "CHEESE IT!")

PAGES 23+:

The rest of the pages in that bible download are from a 2004 storyboard test. The storyboard sample "It's Raining Eds," which we've seen some submitted samples of before, interpretations with Ed attempting to fly or chew gum and Edd making radioactive gum, I was surprised to find out the outline is just the original outline for the opening sequence to season 3's 'For Your Eds Only', seemingly Jonny was not written into the original outline (or was excised for easier testing purposes) but Kevin's brief cameo was. Now I wonder if they knew this would be used for a test when they wrote it, and if they would've come up with a less random way to include him if weren't forced to be a concise bit for testing's sake. (Your limit is typically 40 storyboard pages in my experience.)

I also noticed that in the included background references, the anonymous adult neighbor house next door to Ed's is officially just referred to as a "generic house."

My analysis ends here, but be sure to download that sometime and enjoy all the raw storyboard sketches at the end of the document!

[ashintheairlikesnow]

The Rescue, Part 2: Nate’s POV

Remember how I told you there were two parts to The Rescue? I lied. There’s actually three or four, because Nate got chatty. Whoops. In any case, here’s the second part of the Rescue and how Nate got Danny away from Bram. Follows directly on The Rescue, Part One (may want to read that one first for context if you haven’t yet

Tagging @special-spicy-chicken, @spiffythespook, @bleeding-demon-teeth, @finder-of-rings, and @whumpywhumper!

CW: The dog kennel makes a reappearance. Referenced/implied noncon, serious violence, blood, mention of dissociation/trauma

“I was m-mad,” Nate said flatly.

“Mad?” The detective raised an eyebrow, tapping her pencil on the yellow notepad laid out in front of her. “That’s it?”

“I was r-r-really mad.”

“Based on the drawing you made for us of what you keep referring to, it’s… clear what happened to Mr. Michaelson during the incident you say led you to plan an escape. So, I looked at the notes from the officer you initially spoke with… it says here that it wasn’t the first time.”

Nate ground his teeth together, fighting the surge of anger and picking up his mug of coffee instead, taking a slow drink, letting the scalding liquid burning the roof of his mouth distract him. All of this was helpful, he reminded himself. All of this was one step closer to getting Bram somewhere where he couldn’t hurt Danny anymore. “No,” he said, keeping the word quick and curt. “He m-made him wear it when h-h-he was angry with him. It was the th-thing he hated most. He’s… he was sc-scared of it.“

He was tired of answering questions, and Danny was all alone back in the breakroom, sitting in that stupid fucking folding chair with a blanket around his shoulders. Alone. He didn’t do well by himself. He didn’t like being alone - Bram had taken Nate on a supply run once and left Danny chained in the living room with enough food for a few days, told him they’d be gone for a weekend - and then stayed more than twice that long.

Danny had been desperate and terrified and so fucking grateful to Bram for coming back. Certain they’d left him in the living room to die, just like when Bram threw him in the cellar, in the dark. Then dragged Nate away to a small hunting shed down the road for a week, two weeks, a whole fucking month.

Returning to a Danny thirsty and starving, out of apples and water, willing to do anything - anything - if Bram promised not to leave again.

And somehow, Nate thought, Bram always seemed to know the exact day Danny ran out of food and water.

Nate’s bad hand tried to tighten into a fist and he winced at the spike of pain, the feeling of bones badly healed grinding against each other.

“I w-want to see R-… Danny,” Nate said, taking another sip of coffee, trying to calm down. Steady. You are rescued captives, not criminals, and they’ve already said Danny’s brother will be taking you back to sleep at his place. “We sh-… should talk to you t-t-together. In the same r-room.”

“I just want a few pieces of information to round out what we know,” The woman reassured him.

“Ma’am, I uh-understand that, but h-h-he’s scared. He d-d-doesn’t like being alone, it’s b-b-better if we t, talk together-”

“Listen, this is not an interrogation and we’re really not holding you. We only have you in here because the trauma expert we brought in has said it might be better for him not to overhear it, especially the bits involving…” She tapped her pen on the drawing Nate had made for her of the thing Abraham put on Danny’s face, then tapped her own cheek.

“But I h-h-have to hear m-me say it?” Nate sighed, and it felt good to sigh in a place where no one was going to mock him for how often he did it, or hit him, or cut the words STOP FUCKING SIGHING SO MUCH into his back. 

Part of him ached with missing Bram’s presence, the hand that would have been on the back of his neck right now, telling him what to say without ever having to speak a word… but that part was too far gone, down a well of once you did this, it was too fucking late. “It’s n-n-not easier for me, you know.”

“Isn’t it? When we tried to speak to Mr. Michaelson, he shut down entirely.” The woman tapped her pen again, and Nate narrowed his eyes. That sound was getting really, really annoying. “I only want to learn a little bit more. You’re doing just fine, Mr. Vandrum.”

“I’m n-not worried about me.” Nate took a breath, gentled his voice. He tried even to gentle his expression, but it was hard by now to break the self-protective mask he wore, the one where bitterness and hostility fought for dominance, where he always looked bored and angry. It was a safer face than any other, and only with Danny did he find it easy to lose. “Even if it’s j-j-just a break,” He said quietly. “I want to s-s-see him. Soon.”

“Just a few more questions, Nate, and we’ll facilitate that. Once we’re done, we’ll take you back in. I’ve been told Mr. Michaelson’s brother has picked up a couple hotel rooms for you to stay in, and we can take this back up in the morning afterward. Is that acceptable?”

He thought about it, but they both knew it wasn’t really something he had a choice in. He at least was pretty used to not having choices. He wondered, idly, what had happened to Bram’s truck.

The body’s truck, not Bram’s.

(he’s not supposed to be back here for three months)

Not body. Victim.

(of course I’m going to kill him)

“Fine.” Nate sighed, again, and relished the sound and the way all the detective did was try to hide a small half-smile.

“Good. I just want to get through what you were thinking on Mr. Michaelson’s twenty-sixth birthday, when both of you have stated that the incident occurred that led to your escape, and then we’ll take a break. What made this different, if I might ask?”

Nate frowned. “Made w-w-what different?”

“You say this was done to him before, as… a form of punishment?” When Nate winced, her eyebrows furrowed in a moment of regret. “Ah, I’m sorry. I should have worded that differently. You say it happened more than once, at least. That it was not uncommon as a method of control. So what made this last time different, in your eyes? Prior to this, you had not been able to effect an escape. So why this time?”

Nate looked at her and thought of Daniel with the thing on his face, when the blue eyes were empty and gone, curled up in the back of the dog kennel in the cellar, whining in his throat like a kicked animal when Nate came close, looking at him and seeing Abraham Denner instead.

When those eyes stayed empty, stayed gone, for so long that until Nate had him in Bram’s truck (the body’s truck) he’d been perfectly and totally certain that it was too late, that Danny would never come back.

You’re a fucking fairy tale, Nate. Kissed the sleeping prince to wake him up. He had to fight back the bitter laughter, knowing that if he started laughing he might never stop. I didn’t exactly slay the dragon, though, did I? “He m-m-made me put it on h-him.”

“You had never done that before?”

He glared down into his coffee. “Not l-like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I said no,” Nate snapped. “Because I f-fucking h-h-h… haaaah… I hated that thing. And sometimes he l-l-listened to me.” Sometimes he loved me enough to listen. Guilt blossomed, flowered inside of him, and he fought it back down. It was his fault Bram was sitting in a hospital room right now, handcuffed to the bed, would go to prison. His fault his fault his fault.

No. It wasn’t his fault.

If he hadn’t done that to Danny, everything would still be the same. Nate had understood, he’d learned all his lessons. He’d become exactly what Bram wanted and they’d been together for seven years, more time with Danny there than without him. After seven years of every attempt to find himself, to escape - to stand up for Danny - failing, Nate had been ready to live like that forever if he had to. Danny and his books, that was enough.

It would have to be enough.

But Bram had made the choice that nearly stole Danny from him for good, and if Danny was the only thing Bram had left him…

Danny was the only thing he wanted enough to kill for.

“But not on the day in question. On the day in question, he forced you to fasten this implement onto Mr. Michaelson’s face?”

Nate shook his head.  "He wanted Red-… Danny to watch me b-be the one to d-d-do it.”

So that even I was a threat, the bad guy, someone who hurt him. That he couldn’t turn to me for help, because I was just as bad as Bram. Just like him, going to be just like him, just like them… so that he knew no one was safe, and I wanted to be safe for him.

That was all I wanted.

Bram took that away from me.

“So that was what made you start considering escape?”

“Not… n-not really. It made me th-think about it, but… what made me do something didn’t happen until September, when he b-brought him back into the cabin.”

“How long was that after going in? Two months, give or take? Okay, so what happened?”

“Two and a half. He went in on July 10th. He brought him back up right before October. If I answer, do I get to see him for a while?”

The woman went still, the slightest flare around her eyes the only thing betraying surprise. That’s right, Nate thought, I don’t always stammer. Sometimes I get pissed off instead, and the switch flips, and the words get back on the track to my mouth like they used to. She tilted her head, considered. “Yes. We’ll take a break, and you can see him, then. What happened in September?”

“He s-s-sent me down to get him,” Nate said softly. “G-Gave me the key.”

“H-Hey, Red, it’s m-m-me,” Nate had whispered, coming down the creaking wooden stairs, the cellar door thrown open to let as much light in as he could. “Where are y-y-you, Red? D-Danny?”

A low whine from the corner, behind the shelves that were empty now but would be full of pumpkins and apples in the winter, potatoes, too - all the food that they kept down here. Danny would make pumpkin pies and pumpkin pasta, black bean soup with pumpkin thrown in. Nate was fucking sick of beta carotene by spring.

He followed the sound of the whine, his heart dropping as he heard a soft metal scraping noise - rhythmic and horrifying, even when he didn’t know what it was.

He’d heard Danny trying to scream down here, when Bram went down to check on him. The whining sound like a kicked dog, ratcheted up to a horrible high pitch, followed by smacks and thumps and thuds and Bram’s laughter breaking it apart, shattering Danny’s fear and misery. Neither of them sounded human, down there, any longer.

That was when Nate had begun, piece by piece to realize that he didn’t feel quite the same when he looked Bram in the eyes as he used to.

Nate had moved around the corner of the shelf to find the large dog kennel shoved against the corner. It was nearly full-dark even with the cellar door open, this far back. Danny was curled up in the back, knees nearly to his chin, wide blue eyes staring sightlessly ahead.

Bare feet caked in dried dirt up to his ankles, streaks of old mud along his arms. The collar was cinched so tight that Danny breathed in shallow half-gasps. His red hair was dark, too dark, and Nate thought Bram must have been shoving him down into the dirt when he came down here, because Danny’s hair was clumped with mud.

Nate stared at Danny, and Danny stared back without seeing him, his whining turning to a low, frightened, inhuman whimper. He curled up even more tightly, and Nate realized what the metallic scraping was as Danny rubbed the side of the muzzle against the side of the kennel, trying to find the relieving, soothing pressure without touching the muzzle himself.

He couldn’t, after all - his hands were tied behind his back.

There was blood caked and dried on his chest, down his torso. A huge bruise he could see even in the semi-darkness on one hip.

“Oh h-h-holy fuck, no.”

Nate crouched down in front of the crate - feeling a twinge of pain in the knee Bram had damaged, once upon a time - and when he put the key into the lock to open it, Danny flinched away from him, tears leaking from his eyes, mixing with the blood on his face.

“C-C-Come on, Red, it’s t-t-time to c-come upstairs…”

Danny shook his head, whimpering again, turning his eyes away. Nate had to reach in and grab him by one arm, feeling like the lowest scum of the earth, and pull Danny whining and frightened forcibly out of the crate. Had to drag him up to his feet, which barely seemed able to hold him. Had to pull him up into sunshine he hadn’t seen in two and half months, leading him like a blind man when Danny whined and pushed his face into Nate’s shoulder at the pain of the light.

In the light, Nate could see what he’d missed in the dark.

He could see that some of what he’d thought was dirt on Danny’s arms and legs, his torso, along his spine… was blood.

And his face was still bleeding fresh, new bright red to cover over the dark dried brownish flakes on his cheeks under the grid.

And when he got him inside, Bram had looked up at them from his place sitting at the kitchen table, and smiled.

He’d taken pictures, with his phone, of the bloody wreckage where a man once had been.

And Nate had thought to himself, I’m going to kill you one day. And for the first time in seven years, he meant it.

In the present , Nate came back to himself, to the curious, patient stare of the detective. “I’m s-s-sorry, you had asked-”

“What was different about this instance?”

“Oh, um, time… He sp-spent two m-months in the… away f-f-from me, and when we g-g-got him back upstairs and c-clean-”

“How long had you gone without seeing him during the captivity prior to the event?”

“… I didn’t, n-not since Abraham took him. I s-s-saw him every single day until then, except w-w-when he took m-me on a supply run or t-two. We were… we were e-e-everything for each other.”

Still are. He’s everything, and no one’s going to take him away again.

“When he brought Mr. Michaelson back up from the cellar, you were still angry about what happened in July?”

Nate just nodded, this time, and took another drink of coffee. It was cooling rapidly in the little questioning room, and he frowned down at it. It was terrible coffee - Danny would hate it, he’d never stopped being a coffee snob even during the worst days, at the end, when he didn’t even get to drink the coffee he’d made, because…

“Bram wouldn’t take it off,” Nate said in a low voice. The anger was back, the fury that lived inside of him and flipped the switch inside his brain. The words suddenly came easily, all but fell out of his mouth, tumbled over each other in his eagerness for someone to understand what he’d done and why. “He wouldn’t take the fucking thing off of him, even after he brought him back up. Just to sh-shower, for eating. He made him… he’d worn it for…” He counted it up, the days and weeks of seeing Danny’s empty fucking eyes, and knew he’d done the right thing. “… he’d worn it for five goddamn months by the time I got him out.“

The woman sat back, watching him carefully, writing quickly on her notepad without ever taking her eyes off of his face. “Five months, Mr. Vandrum?”

"Five. Months. He didn’t get to take it off - other than to eat or for me to take care of his- his bleeding, to get his face cleaned up and bandaged-… for five months.”

“I understand,” She said, with that exaggerated but impersonal empathy that he fucking hated hearing in cop shows and definitely hated even more in real life. “Mr. Michaelson didn’t tell us it was that long.”

“He p-p-probably doesn’t r-remember. I was… I’d been m-mad before, but you kn-know, you g-g-get over being mad, in a relationship. You fight a-and you work it out, s-sometimes he hurt m-m-me until I stopped b-being angry, but…” One of the woman’s eyebrows twitched upwards, then just as quickly went back down. She said nothing. “But th-this… he knew, he knew he wouldn’t come b-back, this t-t-time, and he didn’t.”

“Come back? Can you explain-”

“D-Danny goes away in his head when it’s on h-him. He's…”

“Yes,” The detective said, thoughtfully. “The trauma expert told us he dissociates, and he does seem to struggle with understanding where he is, or when he is.”

“Wh-who he is,” Nate whispered.

My name is Red and I belong to Abraham Denner.

“Right. So you’re saying that the muzzle-” Nate flinched at the word, and the detective cleared her throat. “Apologies. You’re saying the implement is the cause of his dissociation, and he doesn’t come back until you take it off. That Mr. Denner purposefully kept it on, and kept him dissociated, for five months.”

“Y-Yes.”

“So when he chose to keep it on… this upset you further?” The woman asked, voice pitched lower and lower.

“Of c-course it did. He let me c-clean him up, and everything, but he m-m-made me p-put it back on afterwards. Over and oh-over, and… and over-” Nate’s voice broke, caught with the tears he hadn’t shed, not in a long time. The guilt might eat him alive. He’d let it go on for so long before he could pull everything off, before he could do what he had to do. This was on him, all of it. What had happened to Danny, what had been taken from him. How little was left. “He s-said it wasn’t coming off this time until he felt like he’d learned, th-that he’s not a p-person, just the f-f-fucking puppy.”

The detective swallowed. Her composure did not crack, not for a moment.

“He’s n-not. He’s not wh-what Bram always, always s-s-said he was, he’s not. He is a person!”

He’s my person.

Mine.

“I understand your frustration,” She said, carefully compassionate, still distant. Did she not like him, Nate wondered or was it just professional composure, not to crack under the weight of the story Nate was telling her? “This was the catalyst for the actions you undertook between October and December 10th?”

“Yes.”

Catalyst. Perfect word for it, wasn’t it? Nate smiled, the barest, faintest little smile. Yes, it had been the catalyst.

Daniel had come up from the cellar filthy, clinging to Nate with eyes that saw something else, that belonged to someone else. Bram had ordered Nate to get him into the shower and clean him up, and then put him back on his mat.

Every bit of dirty water down the drain, all the shaggy red hair he’d cut off when he couldn’t get the tangles to come apart no matter how long he combed at them… every new wound and scarring bit of skin and bruise he’d found… every time Danny whined at the feel of his hands, even though Nate took the thing off in the shower…

All of it was a little bit more of what tied Nate to Bram - the fear and the affection, the love and the pain, the power of his eyes - draining away.

Danny’s broken arm had healed even if more of the rest of him was hurt - Bram must have splinted it, while he was in the cellar, in the dog crate. Even with the thing off his face, Danny didn’t come back, not even for a second. He just sat there, empty, and allowed himself to be cleaned.

Once he was clean, the story of the past two months in the darkness became even more apparent. Nate could see new cuts, reddish and infected, layered over old mostly-healed ones. His body was littered with bruising, and when he took the collar off for the shower he could see that the skin was raw and blistered under there.

He fastened the collar back on, at Bram’s command, but at least he could make it looser for him, this time.

He could see the muzzle wounds dug so deeply into his face that Nate thought his jaw might never heal all the way that his nose would always look like that now dug in hard on the top. They kept leaking blood even after he bandaged them, thin blood vessels so close to the surface, so repeatedly forced into exposure with the air.

And he could see, in the empty blank blue eyes, the worst wound of all - the way Danny had retreated into his own mind to escape, and couldn’t find his way back out.

Once he was cleaned up, dried off, and dressed in a thin button-up and his cotton pajama pants, Danny sat quietly on his mat, staring at nothing, and no matter how Nate tried to get him back, he was gone.

Not even when Bram ordered him into the bed that night.

All Danny did was stare blankly at the two of them and do exactly what he was told. He fell asleep that night with his head resting on his shoulder, wavy red hair tickling at his ear, the metal grid of the muzzle pressing lightly against Nate’s neck.

Nate had held him until he fell asleep, and known he couldn’t keep going like this. The fury did not die under Bram’s eyes, this time. 

He held on to that fury for as long as it took to do what he had to do to save him.

“This was in late September. We didn’t receive the call until… December 11th, it says, that you and Mr. Michaelson reported yourselves to a police station around 2 am. What happened?”

Nate swallowed.

I stopped loving Bram.

I learned how to love Danny more.

“I came up with a plan.”

“A plan, Mr. Vandrum?”

Nate looked her right in the eyes, and dared her to question what he had had to do. Dared her to say a goddamn word about his choices that night.

“Yes, m-ma’am.”

“And your plan was…”

“A m-m-murder.”

[thegeekerynj]

Short Reviews, when the Big Mouth doesn’t have much to say… Or is trying to get caught up from COVID / Election Overload

An Occasional Attempt to Read, Discuss and Review the Wonders of Comics

By: John Rafferty, cranky old man, and Fan of All Things Comics

Short Takes 

Short Reviews, when the Big Mouth doesn’t have much to say… Or is trying to get caught up from COVID / Election Overload

Legion of Super Heroes 6-10  (DC Comics)

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis    Pencils: Ryan Sook (#6 - 7, 10) Various (8 - 9)   Inker: Wade Von Grawbadger (#6 - 7, 10) Various (8 - 9)

‘You want to be called Bouncing Boy?

Looking at the Memexes, we were considering “The Bullet”.

Bullet?

It’s a projectile that——

No, with me, it’s all about the BOUNCE.

———————————————————————————————————

Can Brian Bendis write everything?

Between story, and downright FUN, this is a great book.  Team books are hard to do well, if for no other reason, because of the characterizations. 

Multiple characters mean multiple personalities, and some of those will always get underdeveloped in relationship to the team, as the writer invariably has favorites  Unless…

What we are seeing with LSH is development of characters from across the spectrum. Every book has development of some of the characters, even if they’re not directly involved in the story. This is a far cry from what you see in other books.

Add to this Ryan Sook’s breakdowns, and Wade von Grawbadger’s inks, and you get a pretty package, all tied up in a big bow. More importantly, this is a story with a legacy reaching back 60 years, and is being truly refreshed for a new audience.

This isn’t the Legion I read in 1967, but it’s damned good! 

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

===========================================================

Suicide Squad #9 - 10  (DC Comics)

Writer: Tom Taylor  Artist: Bruno Redondo

I have Kord’s location.

Okay. Do you also have the Senator?

Oh, did you want him back for some reason? That spineless mouth-breather championed a law to dump more waste into the sea. Delusional, greedy @#$% thinks he owns the world.

I have some friends reminding him he does not.

———————————————————————————————————

Floyd Lawton, first appearance, Batman #59, June 1950, as the man who never misses.

Floyd Lawton, a man who feels no rereason to continue living, but has no wish to die: who puts his life on the line to save his teammates time and time again, to save his daughter and her mother, all with the wish of dying in a truly spectacular fashion.

Floyd Lawton, who finally finds a reason to live, in the eyes of his daughter, Zoe.

Floyd Lawton. Deadshot. Perennial member of Task Force X, finally earned his pardon.

Game Over.

By all that’s Unholy, Tom Taylor is a hateful SOB! But the man writes a great story!

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶

===========================================================

Marvel Zombies Resurrection # 1 - 4  (Marvel Comics)

Writer: Phillip Kennedy Johnson   Artist: Leonard Kirk

‘Fine. I guess we came all this way. 

Might as well do something really stupid.

———————————————————————————————————

This sums up exploring the World, any world, during a Zombie Apocalypse. Especially when those with Super Powers have been turned into Super Zombies.

So, we pick up with Peter Parker, Forge, Karla Sofen (Moonstone), Valeria and Franklin Richards, a Flerkin named Chewie, and the reprogrammed Sentinel lovingly called ‘Nana’, moving from defendable place to defensible area, seeking a ‘safe place’. Somewhere they can rest for more than one night… if that is possible.

Always realizing the next tree could be hiding a zombified Avenger, or Defender, or Loved one…

Johnson’s Miniseries is another version of the Marvel Zombiepocalypse, which begs the question, what happens when Zombie Galactus infects your world? Or, more importantly, when it CARRIES the infection to your world?

Leonard Kirk’s art style is perfect for this story, a very dark, visceral style which is a little hard on the eyes, making the reader work for every panel. Yes, it hurts to read, but IT SHOULD! It’s Zombies!

This is worth the read if you can get all 4 issues (the first issue came out in July).

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶

===========================================================

Rorschach #1  (DC Black Label)

Writer: Tom King   Artist: Jorge Fornes

‘They won’t talk to me. Treating me like I’m a  damn Kindergarten kid. I got twins in Kindergarten. Duane and Dwight. I’m not a Kindergarten kid. 

Jesus Christ. What’d they say to you?

That you’re dying.

Shit.

===========================================================

In 1985, Walter Kovacs died. 

It went unnoticed, but for the few in attendance, for Kovacs died following the Alien Invasion of New York, which, in effect saved the world.

Yet, unnoticed, but for the few, Walter Kovacs became a red splash on the Antarctic permafrost.

And Rorschach, the Crime Hunter, died with him.

Or. did he?

In a world existing somewhere between Watchmen 1985 and Current Multiverses, Tom King and begun a noir-ish tale… Did Rorschsch come back, to foil an assassination attempt, and die in the process?

Did he come back, and fail at an attempt at assassination?

Or, Gentle Readers, is there a whole slew of balls in the air we just haven’t seen yet, that we are going to be expected to juggle deftly, as they drop just into sight?

I can’t wait for the answer!

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

===========================================================

Justice League #54 - 57  (Death Metal Tie-In) (DC Comics)

Writer: Joshua Williamson    Artists: Xermanico (54, 57), Pencils: Robson Rocha (55 - 56), Inks: Daniel Henriquez (55 - 56)

“Don’t you get it Cyborg? We’re not the Justice League!

We’re the Suicide Squad!

———————————————————————————————————

I have said before I am not a fan of Joshua Williamson’s writing.

Maybe I just don’t like him on the Flash. 

Four issues, each of them a very good story, each building, with some action and humor, to a smash mouth endpoint, that brings us to Death Metal #5.

I have to say, I’m enjoying this run of Justice League, even with the switch of artist teams mid - tale Xermanico’s work os beautiful, right into the valley of the Starros (that gave me giggle fits!) Rocha and Henriquez’s work is very pretty, and a little darker than Xermanico’s, giving a more atmospheric touch to the Antenna of LOD.

I have to admit, they do a mean Kori, as well! Really FIERCE, with a Full Length mohawk!

Well worth the cost of admission, and a strong addition to the Metal storyline.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

===========================================================

Nightwing #75 - 76 (DC Comics)

Writer: Dan Jurgens   Artists: Travis Moore and Ronan Cliquet (75), Ronan Cliquet (76)

‘We have to talk.’

———————————————————————————————————

Four words. 

Four words that have ended more relationships than violence.

Dan Jurgens has done a masterful job of tying up the Ric Grayson / Amnesias storyline that seems to have run for nigh on ever… by bringing it full circle to Anatoli Knyazev, the KGBeast.

The artwork in these two issues was pretty, with obvious switches between that of Travis Moore (the Titans / Batgirl pages) and Ronan Cliquet’s Batman / KGBeast pages.

Nicely tied up, completing multiple storylines in two issues. Ready to move forward/

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶.5

===========================================================

Young Justice  #19 - 20 (DC Comics)

Writers: Brian Michael Bendis and David  Walker   Artist: Scott Godlewski

Red Tomato?

I think he said Tornado, and you know it.

Honestly, he talks so fast, I can’t understand him most of the time.

———————————————————————————————————

Damian Wayne, Robin.  Cassie Sandmark, Wonder Girl. Bart Allen, Impulse. Conner Kent, Superboy. Stephanie Brown, Spoiler. Keli Quintela, Teen Lantern. Zan and Jayna. the Wonder Twins. Jinny Hex, Naomi, Amethyst,

Twenty issues in, and the book is cancelled… or is planned to end. Either way, this is a suck way to do things, DC.

This is a great group of characters. Much better than the roster in the Young Justice cartoon, simply for the diversity. Some heroes just coming into their own, some who have existed for years,  (the Wonder Twins have been around in MULTIPLE iterations since the 1970’s), all helping each other… This was a great jumping in book for pre-teens who weren’t up for all the violence / hyperkinetic action / storytelling of a true adult book.

And, it was FUN!

Bendis, Walker and Godlewski produced a fantastic product every month.

One which is ending too soon. Unless, of course, it is going to come back in a new package… 

Hint, hint, hint…

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

===========================================================

Amazing Spider-Man 50 - 53  ‘Last Remains’  (Marvel Comics (duh!))

Writer: Nick Spencer   Artist: Patrick Gleason

‘You’re going to love it, Pete. There’s no better feeling in this life — Than being surrounded by those you love.

———————————————————————————————————

So, what are the rules around DEAD Characters returning?

Do they have to be relevant after so many years? Shouldn’t they be, well, driven to do something? Not take more than 50 issues to finally get around to saying…”Bazinga!’, or it’s equivalent?

I must admit, issue 50 is the first issue of a Spider-Man book I picked up, and started to enjoy, until I realized I needed to pick up the LR issues also in order to get the whole story. Didn’t’t we get enough of this in the Shooter Years? 

What about a year and a half ago, when Marvel vowed they would never pull this crap again?? 

I guess they forgot… (Insert comparison to jackass in office here).

Too much work, don’t really care.

Especially when the reveal of who Kindred is happens in issue 50, and Peter finds out in #53… Puh-Leez!

At least it’s not Professor Warren and his Gwen Stacy clone. **BRRRRR** Freakin’ Creepy Old Perv!

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶

===========================================================

Batman 101 - 102 (DC Comics (bigger DUH!))

Writer: James Tynion IV   Artist: Guillen March (101)  Pencils: Carlo Pagulayan   Inks: Danny Miki   Artist: Carlos D’Anda (Pages 13 - 16)

‘DOUBLE RENT! And you don’t talk to the other tenants! They are good people.

Little Santa Prisca is a community. We live through BANE. We live through JOKER. Don’t blow it up with all your nonsense!

You got it Charlie, No Nonsense. Not Here.

Hey! What’s your policy on Hyenas?

———————————————————————————————————

So, Lucius Fox is one of the richest men in the world. 

Selina Kyle has put the Bat on a One Year Clock to get his stuff together, or she walks.

Clownkiller might be the Bernard Goetz of Superhero Vigilantism (look up the reference, I can’t do everything!), but he goes about proving you can’t keep a good vigilante killer down if he has Google.

Ghost Maker is more than we thought, and knows who Bruce Wayne keeps in the closet (or cave).

Is there anyone in Gotham who doesn’t know who Bruce Wayne is?

Tynion continues to pump out some great product, the stories and characters do not disappoint. Including Grifter as Fox’s ‘bodyguard’ was a nice touch, having him get the drop on Batman, a nicer one.

The art in both books, while vastly different, is simply gorgeous. I want to see more od the team of Pagulayan and Miki, I’m hoping to see their work grow with the storylines.

Next issue, BATTLE Sequences! Should be fun, not that it hasn’t been so far.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

===========================================================

Shang Chi  #1 - 2 (Marvel Comics)

‘I have to save my Little Sister!

I have to kill my Big Brother!’

———————————————————————————————————

Only meetings should have agendas.

-Me, just now

Once upon a time, Sax Rohmer wrote stories about the machinations of one Fu Manchu, and his oft overturned attempts to take over the world.

In 1973, Steve Engelhart and Jim Starlin brought Shang Chi, son of Fu Manchu into the Marvel Universe, where he and his MI-6 partners Clive Reston and Black Jack Tarr were responsible for being the monkey wrenches in the machinery of Fu Manchu’s Plans.

It seems that Shang Chi is back, without his prior father. He is still proficient in all forms of martial arts, but now, he is ‘Champion of House of the Deadly Hand’ (like that name isn’t going to come to but him in the butt like a Karmic werewolf), and since the passing of his ‘Father”, now the Commander of the Five Weapons Society.

The artwork is pretty, and the story, steeped in Asian Mysticism, is a little draggy so far. Is the story good? Yeah, it’s a nice reminder of a character I exjyed a long tome ago.

Will it get better? Time will tell.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶.5

===========================================================

The Rise of Ultraman #1 - 3 (Marvel Comics, by way of Tsuburaya Productions)

Writers: Kyle Higgins and Matt Groom    Artist: Francesco Manna

Oh. You’re here to fight because you think we’re one of the species that can’t evolve.

No. I know you cannot evolve.

Fifty-Four of your years ago, my brother came to assist you. And you killed him.

———————————————————————————————————

In the late 60’s, on certain New York television stations, the Saturday Afternoon hours were filled with Japanese imports, Kaiju - United Science Patrol, and of course the story of the death of Moroboshi, and the coming of Ultraman.

Ultraman, a human - alien symbiosis, who fought the Kaiju menace coming to take over the Earth.

Forward to 2020, a new Ultraman, with a new team of USP helpers / friends, and what looks at this point to be a corrupt system surrounding them.

This creative team has done a marvelous job with the material thus far, reviving this character for a modern reader.

It’s just a shame it’s only 5 issues…

It is definitely worth the read.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶

===========================================================

American Vampire 1976 #1 - 2 (DC Comics)

Writer: Scott Snyder   Artist: Artist: Rafael Albuquerque

‘DAMMIT! Before what happened with Gus, you were the best vampire tracker and killer around. I’m asking you to help me take down whoever this PEELING MAN is.

But if this shitty music and LASERS is your life now, then just say so, and I’ll leave you to it.

It’s not a laser, you goddamned idiot.

It’s a SOLAR LAMP. **klik**

———————————————————————————————————

Ten years ago, Scott Snyder, Rafael Albuquerque and Stephen King started a journey which has spanned 10 Years in real time, but 200 years, and 12 separate cycles in series time.

The current iteration has our favorite group of vamps and exterminators running around 1976, wrecking discos, trains, and graveyards, all in the name of bringing back Stoker’s primary villain.

Snyder proves again he is up to the task of creating a world of whimsy and horror, providing mayhem, madness, and the occasional snorting giggle. His droll wit, and ability to write a phenomenal action piece makes this cycle of the American Vampire story a must read.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶

[pendragonfics]

Video Killed The Radio Star

Paring: Billy Hargrove/Reader

Tags: female reader, tutoring, teen angst, hurt/comfort, implied/referenced child abuse, canon related, Neil Hargrove Is an Asshole, angry Billy Hargrove, 1980s, set Post-Snow Ball Stranger Things s2. 

Summary: Reader isn't exactly Brooke Shields -- she's quiet, prefers books to people, and likes to listen to the newest hits on the radio with her friends. But when she's paired up with the Billy Hargrove by her math teacher to help him from falling behind, the status quo of her life with her dad and sister, and of Hawkins High is interrupted.

Word Count: 2,769

Current Date: 2018-10-15

“Why do you want me to hate you so bad?” you whisper to him.

You were sitting on the porch of Mr. Hargrove’s house on the edge of Hawkins, drinking soft drink and trying to tutor the newcomer to Hawkins High on math. His credit transfer from his old school in California might have been good over there, but in Indiana, in this small town where there wasn’t anything to distract someone from their studies other than sport or dating, it wasn’t up to scratch. Thus, you were here, trying to get Billy to pass the next quiz.

Billy blinks, and with a straight face that makes you want to punch him right between his pretty eyes, he says, “Because, sweet cheeks,” he looks away, down the driveway that Neil Hargrove could drive up any minute, “I am bad.”

“Yeah?” you ask him. Shoving the maths textbook away from you, and your hands into the pockets of your jean jacket, you bite your tongue. It was cold out, and your Dad warned you before you took your bike here, but you liked your jean jacket. “Well, then Hargrove…why is it you want me, and everyone else to believe you’re a Danny Zuko, when you’re just a Brad Majors?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He says, voice sharp like broken glass underfoot. He clicks his lighter to life and lit up the end of a cigarette.

You shrug. “I don’t know, Hargrove, why don’t you tell me?”

He takes a pull of his lit cigarette. “You don’t like Grease?” he replies.

You shake your head. “No, Hargrove.” Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath, “Who are you trying to fool? I know you’re a nice guy. Under all of that.”

It’s then he chokes. Coughing, he wheezes, “Nice guy?” he laughs, “_________, I’ll have what you’re smoking.”

You huff. “I’m not smoking anything!” you cross your arms, feeling a little mad. “I know you’re not half bad –,”

“First nice, now half bad? _________, who’re you – I’m Billy Hargrove, asshole, king of Hawkins High. I am not nice. I’m an asshole, and you know it.” He’s nothing short of angry, and in his temper, he tosses his cigarette on the porch, and crushes it, still lit, under his boot. “Is this because I agreed to let you tutor me? I don’t need pity, much less from a nerd like you.”

You blink, watching him. “What are you saying?”

He doesn’t respond. He just sits there, looking at his shoe which smashed his cigarette into the wood of the porch, and it is then when you take a deep breath, and begin gathering your books.

“Whatever,” you say, trying to not show how much his words hurt.

Nerd.

Nobody had called you that in years, since you were in middle school, and Nancy threatened to beat up anyone who called you that. “This took up too much of my time anyway.” You shove your books into your backpack, and in the hurry to pack up, some of the textbooks become dog-eared. You don’t care. He’s on your nerves. You turn to look at Billy to say a goodbye but doesn’t meet your eyes at all.

With a huff, you march to where your bike rests against the porch, and flip the bird to the King of Hawkins High, “Good luck passing math.”

---

The next time you will see Billy Hargrove, you’re seated in the back of the math classroom, using your free period, and the availability of the empty room before math class for some alone time. It’s nice. Nancy is off holding hands with Jonathan in the shade of their favourite tree in the schoolyard, and Steve is off working on his American history report last minute in the library. You’re thirty pages into To Kill A Mockingbird when you realise that the little office off the back of the math room is not empty – as there are voices coming from there.

“It’s either be tutored by Ms. __________, or you fail this class.” Mr. Mundy’s voice carried, slightly louder than his usual tone.

You frown, placing your homemade bookmark in place, lowering the book. It’s then you hear a bang! like small thunder, or a fist upon a desk, and you hear, “No! No. I can’t fail. Isn’t there anyone else who can…” there’s a silence, “tutor me?”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hargrove, but no.” His tone is firm. “I cannot bend the rules for one student.”

Your heart beats faster, like a rabbit learning there’s a fox nearby. Instinct wants you to run out the math room before anyone sees you. Your more logical part of the brain thinks it’s better to duck under the table. Instead, when Mr. Mundy and Billy come out of the backroom, you freeze, and amidst your panic, you fall from your chair.

“Ah, Ms. _________,” Mr. Mundy says, as you look up from behind the desk you toppled behind. You know your face is heating up in embarrassment, you can feel it in your ears. “I was just speaking to Mr. Hargrove about the little issue between the both of you. I know you said you don’t have the capacity to tutor Billy anymore, but, is there any off-chance you would take him on again?”

You stand, brushing the dirt from your knees, and look to where Billy stands, behind Mr. Mundy. He’s wearing a brown leather jacket that the other girls at school might think is bitchin’, but to you, it’s uglier than lumpy Christmas sweaters, and reminds you of his father. Billy’s scowling, too, and if you know a scowl (they’re commonplace on your sister’s face, especially when she doesn’t get her way), he hates your guts.

“Mr. Mundy,” you start, shaking your head. “I told you that I don’t have the time for tutoring. Or the patience. He’s quite behind.”

“Yes, I know –,” Your teacher wiped a hand over his stubbled chin and huffed. “I didn’t want it to get to this… _________, if you tutor Billy, I will personally write a letter of recommendation to your preferred college, come senior year.” You look between Mr. Mundy and Billy, and, as you do this, he adds, “I’ll organise this to be written as an extracurricular –,”

“Fine.” You look at your shoes. If your Dad heard how hard you changed your mind, he’d march right into the principle’s office and demand a hearing between them both. “I better get a great recommendation.” You say, as if a curse under your breath. As Mr. Mundy goes to move, perhaps to the staff lounge for his pre-class cup of coffee, or behind the gym classroom for a sneaky cigarette with the English faculty, you add, “And if I quit one more time, I’m not tutoring him again. No matter what recommendation I get.”

Mr. Mundy walks out, mumbling in agreement. But as Billy turns to go, you address him, staring him down. “Tutoring starts at eight in the morning, my place.” Fishing in your backpack, you tear the back cover off, and write down your address. “Be there or be square.”

---

This time, you have Billy over at your house. It’s nothing much – your Dad lived sidled up to the woods in a tiny house. It has enough room for you, your Dad, his collection of music, and your little sister. It feels weird to have Billy Hargrove over, especially since you thought you rid yourself of him already. You’re set up at the dinner table when he knocks on the door, and when you greet him wordlessly, and lead him inside, you know he’s staring at you.

“What?” you ask, deadpan. “Do I have two heads?”

He shrugs, dropping into chair opposite where you’re set up. “Nothing, nerd.”

You frown, jaw set. “Okay, if I’m going to tutor you, Hargrove, we need some ground rules. Like, don’t call me a nerd. Or any names. Just _________.” You grit your teeth. “Just because I’m good at some subjects at school doesn’t mean you or Tommy H can walk all over me.”

He raises his hands in surrender. “Alright, I won’t do those things.” He wipes a hand through his long hair, and with a groan, he rolls his eyes, “Can we start? I gotta be done before noon.”

You nod, moving to take a seat. “Yeah. Um, this week was basic algebra, so I found these problems from the textbook, so we can practice some examples…” before too long, you delve into the problems, and explain the fundamentals of how to understand the problems.

When it got to ten o’clock, you noticed how hungry you had gotten, and how broken Billy’s attention was getting. It was when Billy worked on the latest batch of examples, you moved to the kitchen, and began preparing the oven for pizza rolls. Your sister had really taken to them, and there were lots of them in the kitchen. It wasn’t until you shoved them in the oven that you realised that Billy had been watching you.

“What?” you demand, hands posed upon your hips. When he doesn’t say anything, you turn to the egg timer beside the oven, and clock the right amount of time, and return to your seat opposite Billy. But he’s still staring at you. “Have you never had pizza rolls before, or…?”

He shakes his head. “You’re different.” He says, and adds, quickly, as if speaking as he’s thinking, “Every time you open your mouth.”

“What, you’ve never met someone who’s progressively more pissed off at you?” you retort, rolling your eyes. When Billy says nothing, you pick up your pencil where you left it before you got up and go back to the algebra problem you had begun to sketch out for him. “Anyways, it’s not like you’re being horrible to me now, so I’m sorry if I’m not spitting fire.”

He shrugs. “I was going to say that you’re not half bad.”

You chuckle at that. Didn’t you say that about him, before? “Don’t get soft on me, Hargrove. We’ve got limited time before the pizza rolls are ready.”

---

There’s a drive-in cinema just on the outskirts of Hawkins, and your father has the night off from work. You’d think that as police chief, he’d be able to work out more times off with his family, but no. It’s nice – you’re in the backseat of the station wagon with your sister Jane, and as you pull into the lot and pay for the tickets, you watch as Jane skirts away from a kiss goodbye from Dad when she goes off to find her friends. As you watch her find Steve Harrington’s car – your friend often took her and her friends to the movies – you clamber to the passenger seat beside your dad.

“So, what’s this movie about, again?” your dad Jim Hopper asks you, pulling on the handbrake.

You roll your eyes. “It’s in the name, Dad.” You point at the flyer you picked up at the ticket booth, pointing at the title. “Superman III. The third Superman movie. You know, about…”

“Superman?” he guesses.

You laugh, but midway, you choke on it. Because walking this way is none other than your tutee, Billy Hargrove. He’s wearing a button-down shirt that’s actually decently done up, and there isn’t a cigarette hanging out of his lip. In the split second between you noticing him and your dad noticing something’s up with you, you bend as if you’re going to tie your shoelace to hide your face. But you forget the dashboard that’s between you and your task, and you headbutt it in the effort.

You’re rubbing your sore head when Billy sees you, and, your father. His step falters, and, as if it never happened, he keeps on his path, and walks away.

“What was that?” your father asks you.

You shake your head. “Nothing, Dad.” You give him a withering look. “What, a boy looks at me, and now this?”

He nods in earnest. “Yes, _________. Because that’s the Hargrove boy who’s always making trouble around town.” He replies, and narrowing his eyes, he adds “Don’t tell me you’re friends with him.”

“No!” you cry out. “No.”

But internally, you’re not sure. Now at school, he actually acknowledges you in the hallways, and when you meet up at Hawkins library for tutoring – a neutral location that isn’t his house with Max or his father around, nor your family – he’s, well, not an asshole. Passably nice. You’re not sure if it’s because you’re seeing less bruises on him when you meet up, or if it’s because you’re not noticing his bloodied knuckles wrapped around a lead pencil anymore, but whatever it is, it’s working.

“Alright then,” your dad raises both his hands in surrender. “Sorry, kiddo. I just don’t want you mixing with the wrong crowd, you know?”

You frown, facing your father. “I know you mean well and all, Dad, but I’m not a kid anymore. I can be friends with nice Nancy Wheeler, quiet Jonathan Buyers, cool Steve Harrington and bad Billy Hargrove if I wanted to.” You look at your lap. In a quiet voice, you add, “besides, I think I am.”

“Didn’t you just say…?”

“I’ll be right back,” you tell your dad.

Before he can protest, you dash out of the car, following where you saw Billy walk off earlier. Weaving through the parked cars on the open field, you stand on tip-toes, trying to see where he got off to. You can see Mr. Clarke’s car parked nearby, Tommy H and Carol making out beside the popcorn booth on the edge of the field, but no Billy.

“Didn’t know you came here,” you hear a family voice behind you.

Turning, you see him. He’s holding a small popcorn, and in the other hand, a packet of sweets. A girl beside him groans when she realises Billy has stopped walking, and tugs at his sleeve.

“C’mon, the movie’s starting!” she urges.

Billy shakes his head, “Yeah, I know Max.” He passes her the food, and adds, “You go back to your friends, I just want to say hi.” She makes a face, but silently walks away. When it’s just you and Billy, standing between stranger’s cars at the drive-in, you clear your throat, unsure where to go from here. You hadn’t thought it this far. “Hi.” He says, after a beat.

You give him a little smile. “Hi, Billy.” Nervously, you bite your lip, and add quickly, “Um, are you here with your sister?” you ask, watching as the little girl walks away to Steve Harrington’s car where the other kids are hanging out.

He nods, playing with his shirtsleeve. “Yeah, just dropping her off.” He chuckles, looking at you. “I didn’t know you came out here.”

You shrug. “Didn’t you hear? Video killed the radio star.” He laughs at that, but after, neither of you say a thing. A beat passes between the both of you, and you speak up. “You know, if your dad gets too much for you, my Dad can step in.” you say, voice low so anyone listening in around can’t hear.

Billy frowns. “Wait…that guy who you were with in the car – your dad is –,”

You nod, pocketing your hands. “Yeah. Chief Hopper.” you shrug. “Well. If that’s not enough of a buzzkill in itself, I’m sure you’re itching to go back into town to hang out with your friends…” you say.

He shrugs. “Or I could hang out with you.” He says. “if that’s cool.”

You blink, unsure if what you’re feeling is shock. “Yeah, um. I’m just here to watch the movie.” You motion to where your dad is parked with your shoulder, and add, “Would it be more of a buzzkill if we watched it with my dad…?” you propose. “He won’t admit it, but he’s lonely without my sister and me.”

Billy takes a deep breath, and after a moment’s consideration, he says, “What the hell, why not.”

You watch Superman III in the backseat of the police station wagon, ignoring your father’s wide eyes. When it comes to the credits, you ignore Jane’s wide eyes, as well as the quiet stares of her friends, including Max and Steve Harrington. The drive home is quiet too, with the exception of the moment in which your dad took the key out of the ignition once you all got back to the house.

“If _________ has a boyfriend, I want to kiss Mike.” Jane pipes up.

In the rear-view mirror, you watch your father’s face pale. “No!”

[b-o-s-t-o-n]

11-21?

poppy - favorite pastel color? mintdimples - most attractive features of a person’s face? eyessunkissed - autumn or spring? autumn bc my birthday is in autumnbuttery - favorite snack? sour cream and onion pringles whisper - how much sleep do you get? like 5 hours a nightpencil - do you own a journal? i have a little notebook that i write recipes down in if that countscupcake - are you a good cook? i can bake pretty wellhoney - favorite term of endearment? “kitten”clouds - describe one of your favorite dreams? i had a dream that i was on big brother and i was in the jury house but then i won the battle back competition lmaovelvet - who was your first crush? danny phantom paper - favorite children’s book? the very hunger hungry caterpillar. ive referenced it multiple times in my fics lol

[disinvited-guest]

3/13/18 Recap

Here is the first one! This show was truly fantastic.  It was banter heavy and they played a lot of songs I had never heard live before. I also got to meet @forktailfarmer for the first time at this show.  Yay!

So it turns out Missouri is huge.  I drove through it for the vast majority of the 7+ hours it took me to get from my uncles’ house in Indiana to the venue.  When I finally got there, I parked in the wrong place, went around the side of the building and Curt was just coming out of door.  I pretended not to notice him, and I think it worked since I was wearing a jacket over my tmbg shirt.  I then realized I was in the wrong parking lot and went back to move my car.  I parked in the right place after a trip to a bathroom and went around side of the building again.  Curt was  walking out that same door as I went by.

I got into line and waited with the other fans who soon showed up.  We saw Linnell walk in front of building briefly and listened to them soundcheck Let's Get This Over With and Music Jail. They seemed to be having some trouble with the former, playing one bit over and over, and I made the comment that it didn’t sound like we would be hearing it that night.

An hour before doors, they checked us all and moved us to an inside waiting area.  Curt was just wandering in and out of the space, once or twice with Scott and the new lighting guy.  They then let us in to the room, which was basically a warehouse with absolutely enormous fans on the ceiling and windows along the top of the walls.  While we were waiting in there, Flans did a vibe report, which I tried to watch, but couldn’t really hear.

Some general notes from this show:

I was right in front of Flans’ mic, and so he got up super close at several points in the show.

Curt was absolutely FANTASTIC! He seemed much more comfortable with everyone else than when I saw them in February, and it really boosted his performance..

The guys came onstage and immediately shattered my prediction by jumping into Lets Get This Over With.  It didn’t go entirely smoothly, but it was exciting to hear anyway and I liked that they had Linnell on accordion for it.  Flans gave us a quick greeting and told us they were playing two sets. Linnell responded snarkily. I can’t remember exactly how, but their back and forth went on long enough that Flans told the audience that them talking was all the show was “the second set is all spoken word”

From there they went into Ana Ng, and then straight to Damn Good Times.  The audience supplied quite a bit of the backing vocals for the latter, I saw Linnell grin and move back from the mic because of it.  This  was  when Danny recognized me and I got a big smile!

Flans mentioned the venues name, The Truman, and said that adding to the number of venues they had played at that were named after presidents.  He started to list the presidential places they had played, but only name the Lincoln Theater before someone from the crowd shouted “Trump Hotel.”  

Flans responded they hadn’t played there, then moved his mic stand closer to the crowd and made several comments that weren’t quite criticisms before deciding “We’re not gonna get political, we’re just gonna assume everything we think in here”-pointing to his head-“is what you’re thinking, it’s like television” and started into Racist Friend.

Curt came on in the middle of the song and blew everyone away, and then the band went straight into Hey Mr. DJ, ending with the crazy fast, shouty ending.  Afterwards Flans said that he was tempted to shout “one more time” and try to do it again at the new speed.  He then introduced Curt, adding that he was from Kansas City!

It turns out that Mark Pender, the other trumpet player who worked with tmbg, is also a Kansas City native and the Johns riffed on that idea for a while.  Flans said that trumpet players must be in bloom here, and Linnell suggested that only cities that stretch across 2 states can have so many trumpet players.

Apparently the crowds’ laugher at this was unexpected, because Flans complained that we were reacting too quickly “It’s a Tuesday night, it's not even that late, there’s no reason for you to be drunk, but we expect it anyway.”

Linnell chimed in, saying that this was the point of the show where a guy would start shouting random things at them.  He did a great impression of drunken gibberish then added “And you realize he would be shouting those things even if he was the only person in the room.”

This reminded Flans of a time when he saw a Reggae band and everyone in the crowd was high “I, unfortunately was not” and whenever the band did something cool, the crowd would shout “Rewind!”, and the band would do whatever it was again.

He then told us about the only other time he saw that happen. He was in a movie theater (he told us the movie, but I don’t remember what it was) and there was a scene where a bus and a train crash into each other and the crowd all immediately stood up and shouted dewind!

“But the projectionist was not as kind as the reggae band” Flans finished.

The rewind thing became a running joke, and was shouted by the crowd at several points, with varying degrees of success.

I believe it was After All Time What when they mentioned the rearview mirror, which was fixed to Linnell’s keyboard.  Apparently it was newly purchased from a truck stop in Kansas.  Flans tried to explain to us what it was for, saying there were parts of the show where Linnell needed to see Marty. “It's all part of our ongoing effort to improve the quality of the show”  Linnell told us that he had the idea onstage but it took a long time for him to remember it when he was offstage.  He told us that the real reason he needed it was to see when Marty was making fun of him.

Somewhere around this part of the show, the guys discussed Young Marble Giants, another band who had been on Electra at the same time they had, made up of two guys and a girl.  Apparently when they were touring Europe the first time, all of the “cigar smoking interviewers” would ask them where the girl was.  They of course had no idea what they were talking about and would answer “what girl?”  Linnell thought that was good, because it made them seem mysterious.

Flans asked Linnell to introduce the next song and Linnell told us “This song is about a Pencil Rain, but I’ll leave the title a surprise.”

During these past few songs, Dan Miller had been on and off the stage.  He was having trouble with his guitar, but it also looked like he was filming something on his phone.  Eventually he switched guitars for a bit and let the crew fix whatever was bothering him about the first.

They went straight into Music Jail from Pencil Rain, then paused because Flans didn’t know what came next.  Linnell started the keyboard part for Everybody Conga, but Flans stopped him and had Marty go straight into No One Knows My Plan.

After the song Flans said that the mirror must not be working and asked Linnell if they needed to put a light on it.  Linnell said they didn’t.  The mirror worked and he and Marty had used it to do a thing on Music Jail.  Flans joked that if the mirror didn’t work, their other option was walkie-talkies and demonstrated to us how it would work “kssh-are you stopping the song now Marty?-kssh” Linnell then brought up the band Phish, who apparently has ipads to text each other onstage with. Flans thought that those texts “should be a matter of public record” and needed to be projected onto a screen onstage.

They played Dead and I Left My Body, and then Linnell went to get clippy and Danny put down his bass and walked towards the keyboards in preparation for Cloisonne.  He couldn’t get there though, because Linnell had gone back to the keyboard mic so he could argue semantics with Flans.

Flans said that the audience might “notice Linnell playing an incredibly large piece of metal.”  But Linnell interrupted, saying “I’m not playing it yet, I’m holding it.”  Flans corrected himself, then told us “You don’t recognise the Contra Alto Clarinet because it stayed in its case at your high school concert band recital, next to the bass clarinets.”

Then Linnell, still at his keyboard mic, took a complete left turn and told us “contra alto clarinets are like bitcoin, if you get one now, you’ll be set later on.”  Flans cracked up, and agreed that they would be “worth a lot in post-apocalyptic future with no electric,”  then Linnell moved away from the mic and Flans introduced Danny on the keyboard, telling us we should note how he “plays with incredible precision.”  Finally making it up to said  keyboard, Danny peeked over it and grinned at me before they started the song.

After Cloisonne, Linnell started to introduce the Mesopotamians, telling us about when he “was watching TV three thousand years ago.”

Flans interrupted him to say that “TV was better then” and launched into a bizarre tangent about the fourth version of I Love Lucy, where she was a dinosaur.  After Flans did his best Dinosaur Lucy impression, Linnell (who was getting over a cold) said that he thought he sounded like her.  

Flans responded in the same voice “Where’s the girl?” (referencing the Young Marble Giants thing from earlier) and then continued on his I Love Lucy theme with “My name is Lucille Ball and I love the taste of Menthol cigarettes.”  This fell a bit flat with the crowd, and Flans told us “some jokes we make for ourselves.” and continued on “Have you seen my dinner? It was a bunch of menthol cigarettes.”  Apparently this was one of the jokes for them not us, because the Dans were both grinning and when Flans added “ And they were lit!” they cracked up.

Bringing things back to the song at hand, Linnell said “Anyway, this is what I watched on tv 3000 ya when i was hallucinating!” and they started The Mesopotamians.

Afterwards, Flans told us that the first set was winding down, and he forgot to make some stage announcements.  He delivered them while ticking off items on his fingers “ We have a new album. It’s better than it has to be. People have noticed.”  The then asked anyone who bought a vinyl copy of the album to hold it up.  Several copies popped up around the room and Flans told us “See, it’s like a calendar but it has a record inside.”

The last song of the first set was Spy.  For the ending, Linnell had everyone play opposite several sound effects, including a doorbell, buzzer, and sawing sound.  When Flans got control, he stopped everyone but Curt (he had to clarify he wanted Curt to keep going). Curt would play long blast, then there would be several beats silence.  Flans built everything else up around that and it sounded absolutely wild and amazing. Eventually he added in the audience for a bit.  Linnell would play a choir note on the keyboard and Flans had us match it to...mixed results.  Flans brought everyone on stage to a crazy crescendo and they left the stage to thunderous applause.

The second set was preceded, of course, by the Last Wave Video and the guys didn’t even wait for the outro to go onstage.They went straight into Older with no preamble, then Flans started to introduce Tippecanoe  “people always want us to play old songs, so this one is from 1840” but Linnell interrupted, saying that wasn’t what was next on the setlist, Flans was confused and Linnell said they could play it if Flans wanted, but instead Flans turned back to us and said “People always tell us they hate our new songs”, he called on the theatre majors in the audience to fake their enthusiasm and they played I Like Fun.

They then moved on to Tippecanoe.  Flans told us we had “Probably heard the title from the one time you woke up from your nap in 9th grade history” and that it was “actually sung in bars,” very controversial, and the “song that was sung before your great-great grandfather was punched in the face.”

After Tippecanoe they introduced Marty playing the school bell For Shoehorn.  The bell apparently “induces a strong Pavlovian response” and Linnell went off on a small tangent about it making us want to knock over chairs and throw books.  Marty stood between them for the song, he would lift the bell to just over his head, hit it at the appropriate time, pause, nod, then lower the bell and stand with his eyes closed, head bowed, and hands in front of him.  It was hilarious.

Linnell introduced Self Called Nowhere by saying it was a song his grandmother taught to him.  He then clarified that he had taught it to his grandmother first, then she had taught it back to him when he forgot it.  Goof.  

Flans then had Marty play “the best part of a Phil Collins show” eventually, Flans told Marty to stop, but he was so into it, it took him a few seconds.  When he did he looked at Flans and asked “Rewind?”  The crowd picked up on it and started shouting “rewind!” and so Flans had him do it again.

Linnell then started the accordion part for How Can I Sing Like a Girl while Flans introduced it.  “This next song is from our...Factory Showroom album and its about being in junior high school choir.”  

After that, the Dans returned to stage, and Marty moved back to the drum riser, where he ate a snack while watching Curt’s intro to Istanbul. Once again, Curt used both the regular trumpet and the valve trombone, which was fantastic.  Flans had the guys do two fake endings, which fooled most of the crowd both times.

I believe it was here that Flans asked everybody where Omaha was.  The crowd shouted “North” back at him. He was slightly confused by their response and many people in the crowd pointed which way North was.  Eventually Dan and Danny pointed in the same direction from stage.  Flans then complained “who booked this tour?”  Since they had traveled such a long way to get here, he explained, he had kinda thought they would be going in the opposite direction.  He then turned to the crowd and stated “As you can see ladies and gentlemen, I have no idea where I am.”  Everybody laughed and he leaned into the mic to add “God is done with me,” which made everybody on stage completely lose it.

They then launched into a run of songs with no banter: Number Three, Wicked Little Critta, and Twisting.  Wicked Little Critta was noted on the setlist as “no words” but Linnell did the words for it, so I’m not sure why. Dan and Danny were really goofing around during that song, since there are large sections they don't play during.

Flans introduced Mrs. Bluebeard as another new song then shouted “Theatre majors, we’re counting on you! We’ll accept lit majors too, just fake your enthusiasm!”

Linnell then told (with Flans chiming in) the Amy Schumer show story with the “I hope you go to see your favorite band and they only play new songs!” line and Flans told us “We tried to start a conversation with her on twitter about it but it didn’t happen.”

I’m not positive, but I think it was after Bluebeard that Linnell told us all a story about how someone at a show made eye contact with him, flipped him off, and nodded. And how he didn’t know what was happening.  Flans said that the lady who had flipped Linnell off was “the definition of a diva,” since she believed everyone else understood what she was going for.

Linnell demonstrated how the lady had flipped him off, and Flans warned him that it would be all over the internet now  “I did that at a show, now you can search on the internet and find that picture everywhere.”  Apparently, this upset his mom, and when he told her “I’ve done a lot of shows mom” she said (he did a great voice for it) “Yes, but why did you have to do that?”

Linnell then decided that it was actually Flans’ mom who flipped him off and that it was all payback.

They played When Will You Die, with “us and Curt” wondering. Afterwards Linnell got his accordion, and there was an issue with a bit of feedback.  It didn’t seem like a big deal, but Flans said they dreaded a little bit of feedback because it could build up.  Linnell chimed in that “it’s like an air raid siren to us.”  Flans then announced Turn Around as Turning for some reason.  I’d never heard it live before, and it was truly fantastic.

Then it was time to Introduce the Band.  After Marty’s solo, we all shouted rewind and he did it again.  After introducing the guys in the band, they thanked all the crew members, including the lighting guy, who was new for this leg of the tour.

Flans then decided he was going to look in the crowd for beards.  He decided that there were “40% less beards than average, but the ones that are there are very prodigious” and announced he was going to make eye contact with the two best beards.  Danny came to the front of the stage to point out the ones he thought were best, although Flans made different picks.  With the beard matter settled, they closed out the set with Birdhouse in Your Soul, with an especially awesome “interruption” of the guitar part by Curt.  

The cheering and clapping for an encore quickly morphed into a chant of “Rewind! Rewind!” that lasted until the guys came back on stage.  Flans went straight up to the mic to tell us  “We just had a very interesting band meeting... We’re never telling that story again.”  This was greeted with laughs, cheers, and even a shout or two of “rewind.”  Flans then told us “We’re gonna play some songs and then we’re gonna leave again.”

Linnell told him that that was actually a good segway because that's what the two songs were about.  They then played End of the Tour and New York City, which I suppose could both be about that.

The cheering for the second encore didn’t include many shouts for a rewind (it’s a really hard word to chant guys).  Marty was the first one back onstage, and he started the beat to Particle Man as the others joined him.

Linnell put on his accordion as Flans started us clapping, and then told us “Don’ts stop clapping, no matter what happens onstage, no matter how much we beg!” then in a much calmer voice “I was just kidding, you can stop clapping.”  Most of the audience kept on going, but a few stopped, L pointed one person who did shook his head.  The interlude this time was Here You Come Again.  After Particle Man was over, Linnell stayed on the accordion and they played Doctor Worm for their final song of the night, the big highlight of that was a big Linnell jump at the end of the solo.

They were right back out with a case of stickers, and Flans handed me a big stack of them.  I did my best to stay out of his way while holding onto my spot in hopes of a setlist.  The girl next to me then started begging Danny for a setlist.  He told her he couldn't, so I assumed they were saving them for something and turned to move out of the rest of the crowd’s way.  Not a second later though, I heard the same girl scream “thank you” and turned back just in time to miss getting one of the two remaining setlists that Fresh was giving out (which I assumed were the last ones).  

Danny noticed and caught my eye, looking mildly concerned, and I shrugged and smiled at him because it wasn’t that big a deal.  But then he walked back and got a setlist from the side of the drum riser and brought it over to me.  I took it with my left hand and handed him his mini with my right.  He looked at it and smiled at me before leaving the stage.

I tried to give Flans his mini, but he said he wasn’t signing anything, and I gave up.  I met briefly with Amber (the other Amber obviously, I didn't meet myself) and her entourage (husband, sister, sister’s husband) and then they headed over to the merch stand while I went to the circle forming around Marty (who had started signing) to give him his mini.

I was standing pretty far back, watching the crew start to pack up when Danny came back onstage and motioned me over.  He said he loved the mini and wanted a picture.  I was slow on the uptake that he wanted a picture with me and it (since I am both a complete ditz and was starstruck), but once I realized I pulled out my camera and a very kind fan waiting on Marty offered to take the picture.  

Sanny sat on the stage with his arm around me and his head leaning on top of mine and we both smiled at the camera.  After I got my phone back he told me he wanted me to send him the picture.  “Are we friends on Facebook?” I nodded.  “Just post it there and tag me.  What’s your name again? Ashley?”

“Amber”

“Ok, Amber” and a smile.

I grinned back like a idiot and there was a brief pause (nice, not awkward I think) before I mentioned I had made minis for the other guys.  He said he could take them back for me.  I asked if he was sure, since I didn’t want to make him carry them all, but he was ok with it so I pulled the rest from my purse.  He seemed impressed, especially that I had made a Curt, and asked if I had made them all.  I babbled for a bit about that as I got every one out, telling him how I had a lot of energy after the Cleveland show and had driven home and started on his at 3am, and how of course I would make one for everybody.  I got another radiant smile, and then he took the minis backstage and eventually out to the bus, which I later learned to my delight through several social media posts. I give myself a B- on how I handled this interaction.  I am kinda embarrassed because I think I acted like a ditz, but I was at least semi-coherent.

Since I had given Danny all the minis, I figured I wouldn’t waste Marty’s time and left the venue walking on air.