#the pay was shit but health and art wise i was doing good and healing

[star-burnt]

Sonion art and just a sorta reminder/thingy that idk what to call I work 40 hours a week not even making ends meat with illnesses that are still being treated. These illnesses include anemia, depression, anxiety, adhd and a few more, but summing them all up I barely can function as a person. I’m trying to work with my doctors to get better/learn how to work with my issues, but since the middle/end of March my meds stopped working, and it will take MONTHS for any new meds to start working, but its gonna first take a month to see my doctor.

That is why a lot of work has paused/taken so long. Due to this, I will no longer really take commissions, and adopts/donations will be my main passive income. I have thought about opening a tier membership for Kofi for those who give donations monthly. There would only be 1 tier, 5 USD a month charge, and the funds would do to debt and my new medical expenses. [Not urgent but I rather get them done sooner then later, and its a root canal and crown soooo fun]

The stuff I could offer in return is nothing much, just streams, sketch posting, and unlimited cat pictures....with some raffles. Idk if this is a good idea, but it would help...soooo thoughts? Ideas? Idk I just wanna draw but my job is not supporting me enough and treating me like shit making my health worse. If I can go back to part time that would be best for me and my health.

[arizonaconservativegal]

First of all, thanks for replying. And thanks to the people in the notes who followed up, as well. In terms of interests, while I would love someone who shares a lot of them, I really only have one that's necessary. As an aspiring game developer, games are my art form, especially the world building and the mechanics and systems in place. I want someone who shares this love, who I can bond over with. Anything else would just be icing on the cake. In terms of appearance, I'd prefer if she were shorter than me by a good amount, ideally at or below 5' 6" but I'm fine as long as she's not above like 5' 10". I'm not the leanest person myself, I've got a little belly, but I'm working on it and slowly losing weight. I don't mind if she's a little chubby either, but if she's really fat I just can't go with that. I'm probably a little hypocritical here as I'd obviously prefer someone who's in shape, but I can find some heavier women attractive as long as they're short and feminine. I dislike body modifications, and would prefer someone without any, but I could deal with a few small tattoos and a few piercings, as long as they're not gauges or septum piercings. And obviously she needs to want kids (but not have any), needs to be not a full-on leftist (I'm fine with a centrist, conservative, or ideally a libertarian), and just have a nice personality that gels with mine. I tend to be a pretty low-key, somewhat boring person, and have trouble dealing with people who have "big" personalities. I find that at my age, it's hard to find someone who wants kids but doesn't have any, and who likes games but isn't butch or seriously fat or really punk or whatever. Those are pretty much my lines in the sand, appearance and personality-wise. Do I have too many of them? Are there things I should care less about? As I said, I've never been in a relationship, so I really don't know what's important and what's not. I'm just basing what I want on what I personally prefer.

And I know what I need to do to become more attractive, myself. Lose some weight, get a better job, move out. Is there anything else I need to do, and what should I prioritize? Right now I'm thinking about trying for a raise at work, but I'm also worried it'll put me over the pay limit for subsidized healthcare, and I've got a lot of health problems that are out of my control. I'd need to jump to a job with actual benefits to make it really worth it, so it'll be hard just moving up gradually.

And finally, just because I'm spilling everything out here anyway, there's a girl at work who recently broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years who I've been becoming quite friendly with. She's always enjoyable to talk to, and she seems to like me at least as a friend. However she's not got a lot in common with me. There's a guy who clearly likes her, and she has a friend that's probably into her, and I knew her ex and they all have a similar look that's very different to me. I think she also tends to go for "bad boys" and I'm definitely not one of them. She recently asked about my interests and stuff kind of probing more deeply, but since I basically haven't had any friends for years I don't know if that's just what's normal or if she's actually a little bit interested in me. Honestly I'm not sure what to do or if I should even do anything. She's basically a normie and I'm borderline autistic. I'm not used to anyone actually being interested in anything about me and I don't know how to tell one kind of "interest" from another. And considering she's a coworker and I enjoy her company, I don't want to fuck anything up. What do I do?

Ok there's a lot to unpack here...

First of all, I'm not going to be that person who tells you looks don't matter because let's all be honest here for a second, they do and anyone who says otherwise is lying for internet morality points. Obviously if you're going to date someone, you need to not be repulsed by their physical appearance.

But. Looks are not the most important thing and they're also not permanent. Plus in my experience, the more you get to know someone, the more attractive they become to you because you just see people differently when you love them. So don't worry so much about finding the most beautiful girl you've ever seen, or being the most handsome guy she's ever seen. When it's right, that stuff will handle itself.

(Also, I'm not saying you did this, but if you put all that in your online dating profile, please delete it immediately because it will scare women off if it's public and even if it's just for the algorithm, you're probably losing a lot of potentially good matches by being too specific)

I would think a little more about personality. It can be a lot harder to define that than appearance, but that's the part of her that you're going to really fall for. What does "big" personality mean to you? Does that mean just being loud, or is it a certain kind of humor, or just being extroverted or outgoing? Think a little about the people you enjoy spending time with and figure out what it is about them that makes you want to be around them. Interests are a good starting point, but try to think about what drives those interests and how they express them.

And think about you too. How would you describe yourself? I'd guess with your interest in game development, you probably have a big imagination and attention to detail, yeah? Do you have a dry sense of humor, maybe? Are you a patient person? Do you prefer to be busy or to take it easy? When you get stressed out, what calms you down? What are your values in life?

Think about what kind of person complements all that. Remember you're looking for a partner, someone to build a life with. That means the two of you have to make a good team. You'll bring out the best in each other and compensate for each other's weaknesses.

As for the changes you think you need to make, I'm going to let you in a little secret about women: there is nothing sexier to us than a guy who has his shit together. And that doesn't mean you need a fancy law degree and a six figure office job and a mortgage. It means knowing who you are and what you want and be working a clear, realistic plan to get there.

So yes, everything you mentioned is probably a good idea because it sounds like that will help you have more confidence and get on more solid ground with your life and future. But as for what you should do first, just focus on what is best for you, not for some hypothetical future wife you haven't met yet. It sounds to me like you've still got some healing to do and that needs to be your priority.

But when you're ready, the only thing to do is start talking to people and go on lots of dates that will mostly go nowhere. That's okay. The point is to meet girls and see if there's enough there for a second date, then maybe a third, and so on. You're not looking for something that's perfect right away. You're just looking for a starting point to build something more from.

In your case, yes, you probably do need to find a girl who at least has some interest in video games. It's going to be too much of your life for her to not at least be willing to indulge you when you want to talk about the game you're working on. I would guess that there are a lot of girls in "nerd" category who maybe don't know much about video games but would be interested if someone they cared about wanted to show them. Or if you really want to start off with just a pool of people who are as interested in game development as you, I'd hazard a guess that there are conventions or online forums on the subject. Maybe check out some of those and just start talking to people. Maybe it goes nowhere. Maybe you make a new friend. Maybe more. Who knows?

As for the girl at work, I think you're setting yourself up to get hurt. Girls who go for bad boys don't usually change their habits easily. She may be interested in you because you're not like her ex and she's trying to try something different, but that doesn't usually last. It isn't that you're doing anything wrong, it really is just how girls like that are. And it doesn't make any sense but it's how it is.

In general though, if you're getting to know a girl and you're not sure if she's looking for a friend or a boyfriend, it's okay to ask. Don't be creepy about it or anything, but it's okay to say something like "I just want to make sure I'm not reading too much into this." And be prepared to drop it if she says she just wants to be friends.

(Also my rule for dating coworkers is this: if it's a job you plan to stay at long term and you work closely together, the answer is no. If it's more of a temporary thing or you really only pass her in the hall once a week, that's probably okay as long as your company doesn't have some policy against it)

Bottom line, you're overthinking this. Love isn't logical. You can make all the plans and checklists in the world and none of them matter because that's just not how it works. Trust me, if it was, I'd be married by now too.

All you can really do is be the best version of yourself for you, meet a bunch of people, probably get your heart broken a couple of times along the way, and eventually you'll find someone who makes it all worth it.

-

As a side note, are you in a good church? If you're a person of faith at all (and I'm an atheist, so no judgement if you're not), I think having a community like that around you would be good for you right now.

[cubeswhump]

Whumpmas in July Day 14

Tumblr deleted this when I was nearly done and I want to cry. So take two at @whumpmasinjuly day 14. Tagging five people because I love them all way too much to leave any of them out.

@ocsickficsideblog Is sickfic whump? Well, she's written some good ass whump too. And Alistair is the only man I have ever loved (not romantically though. He's too dumb). And Jasper and his trauma is soooo good. Coming to terms that his mom wasn't perfect. Learning to live without her. And Alistair and his aggression and hot temper. Learning to calm down and fearing being like his dad. Turning out to be more of a stupid dork than a violent thug. And fucking Julius who shows love is blind and doesn't realize he's dating the biggest idiot. Her writing is SO FUCKING GOOD and she has a really good way of showing trauma and recovery. I'll be first in line to buy her novels. Fighting through the crowd at a book signing even though I'm currently texting her. April's #1 fan. Plus she's a fucking awesome friend and I love her. Got me to rediscover my love for writing when my motivation was burning in Hell.

@ashintheairlikesnow Dude. Amazing. I never thought I'd enjoy BBU stories but Chris converted me. I binge-read Danny's full story in like a day and I'm dying (but also dreading) to know what happens to Ora. Bram made me cringe so bad. So good at writing despicable villains. Bram, Branch, Grant. Evil. Fuckfaces. But then there's Ashley. I am madly in love with Ashley and that makes me concerned about my taste in women. Does a great job at showing recovery and then throwing more misery at him and we all love to hate her for it. Seriously, so fucking good.

@haro-whumps I was initially opposed to reading the whole legalized slavery thing but I am loving their Group Whumpees series. I would die for Nyla and Lilah, and I love all the slaves. Greyson needs to take a mental health day, poor dude. I want all the slaves to be happy and free. Along with initially being skeptical of Galo. A dude who approves of a system that denies rights to people based on the parents they're born to?? But he grew on me. God, that sounds bad out of context. I'm enjoying watching Galo navigate through and deal with family ties and trauma of people he's never thought about, trying to be wise and rational when all this is thrust on him. Rot in Hell, Bethany. P.S. I'm amazed to see your art progress and improvement. I freaking adore your drawings of Rat and Bijou.

@whumping-every-day was one of the first blogs I followed. I followed for the vampire whump and stayed for awesome writing. Writes trauma and recovery really, really well. And the whump is brutal. Poor Mutt. Poor Ash. Poor Gabriel. And the vampire healing system, how they need blood to heal and Ash was given only enough blood to stay alive? Dude, fuck. Good whump. And public torture makes me cringe so bad but I love it. And the doctor talking about Mutt still breaks my heart. I'm loving all these series. And I'm in love with Pasha.

@albino-whumpee THEIR ART?? IS SO GOOD??? I scroll through their blog and just stare at the art. Equal parts envy and admiration. Do I want to be you or be staring at your art in a gallery? Expert. Won't be surprised if they're a graphic novel illustrator or a professional animator/storyboard artist in a few years. Or days. Their art is that good. The emotions in the expressions. I'm autistic and have trouble gauging emotion based on facial expression but in their drawings it's clear as day. Fear is palpable, joy is obvious and radient. And that you draw so much of this good shit for free is astonishing. People should be paying thousands for a portrait made by you at an auction. And the stories with Ray. There's so little but I want it so bad. Cold jerk with a good heart. And a doctor? Ecen better! Just you wait. You're making fan art for everyone else but you're gonna receive some mediocre fan art from me in the near future. Also I stare at that drawing of Maribel for several hours a day.

[internaljiujitsu]

5 Realizations That (Finally) Got Me Off The ADHD Treadmill

I used to hate reading books. I did it anyway but couldn’t last more than five or ten minutes before dozing off or having my mind dart away to distant lands. Like the skinny kid with no appetite that had to force feed himself to pack on muscle, I shoved books into my brain because I hated the idea of not being well read more than I hated reading.

As a kid, I often left things undone. — or worn out to the nub. After beginning enthusiastically, I’d soon lose steam and beat myself from pillar to post for quitting. I’d always hang around through the torture just to avoid the sting of giving up again. Once the interest was gone, whatever I was doing became pure misery. This would inevitably lead to mental and physical breakdown, as every cell in my body rejected the reality my mind was accepting.

I got good grades and excelled athletically but always thought I could do better. There seemed to be a gear missing — the one that I just knew could take me to a place that felt right. If I were just better, more disciplined and able to focus more — but I didn’t think I had it in me.

Back then, I didn’t know I was working with a slight disadvantage. While medication has played a crucial role in managing my ADHD, and no doubt would have made a massive difference in my childhood, it’s been just as important to build coping and productivity skills. While ADHD makes it difficult to work for other people, it also challenges your ability to self-regulate. Your perception of time is thrown off, so keeping track of your own schedule can be tough without a system.

Before I ever tried medication, in my forties, I spent my life learning skills to make up for what I saw as inadequacies. I’m thankful that I built a technical foundation before supplementing with chemicals, but eternally grateful for what meds have done for me. Once I was properly diagnosed, I realized that the progress I was able to make on my own was astonishing. Giving myself credit for putting in the work motivated me further. The medication made it all click. It was the missing piece I’d been searching for after years of hard inner and outer training.

Here are my five keys for finally jumping off the ADHD treadmill. Once I inserted these into my belief system, I no longer felt hopeless. The limiting, negative self-talk stopped. It took a long time to finally put everything together, but the results have been life changing.

Meds Are Not Evil

Like a lot of other people, I didn’t believe ADHD was real. My perception was that it was a made up disorder designed by drug companies to pump kids full of personality stifling drugs — an excuse for parents to medicate energetic kids and abdicate responsibility.

Meanwhile, I lived every day in lonely terror, until my symptoms became so overwhelming that I became suicidal. At that point, medicine was my last hope. I read books, meditated, prayed, had countless therapy sessions, including EMDR, and took massive action to change my life — but I hit a healing wall. I needed a boost.

The wiring in my brain makes it so ADHD medication that would make the average person speedy simply makes me feel normal. I am no longer listless and suicidal, disappointed in myself because my aspirations outweigh my self-belief. Before meds, it felt as if I was receiving random radio signals from everywhere. The one that always caught my ear never had anything good to say. Still, my disciplined nature dragged me through my days.

The stigma against medication and the dangerous abuse of these drugs by the general public has left many people unnecessarily living in misery. Prisons and homeless shelters are purgatories for the mislabeled, ignored and discarded members of society unlucky enough to suffer from mental illness. How many of those fortunes could have been altered with the right diagnosis, treatment and protocol?

2. Medication + Discipline = Badass

As a person that uses discipline as therapy, I once thought I could muscle my way through pain. Becoming older in the martial arts world means you have to fight smarter. That’s the trade off — you are wiser and have a much better understanding of your art, but your body does not react the same. Nature seeks balance.

But fuck that. If you take care of yourself, you can whip on the youngins long after your head is covered in gray. Combining experience with conditioning makes you unstoppable. That’s how I see my mental health approach.

If you have no clarity, you won’t make the best choices. You simply can’t see what’s in front of you without a trained eye. The frantic nature of the ADHD mind is like a white belt thrown into what we call the “shark tank.” It’s a relentless onslaught of tough competitors coming in fresh at intervals to continuously beat your ass. No place for white belts. That’s what life feels like off my meds.

The passions that occupy my time have kept my brain buzzing enough to distract me from my buzzing brain. Now that the unwanted chatter is gone, I can feel the good kind of buzz — the warm, fuzzy feeling of loving what I do without feeling like I have to do it.

Would I have preferred avoiding all the pain I felt over the years and just been medicated all along? No. If life didn’t necessitate that I acquire the skills that I have, I wouldn’t have been driven to pursue them. I may have relied too much on the drug. I would not have changed. But I have a feeling the relief of the meds wouldn’t have been enough — It’s just not who I am. I know that now. Eventually, I would have gone searching. At times I almost feel like I have an unfair advantage now. Technical ability and practical experience. Strength and skill. Balance. I’m glad it happened the way it did.

3. You Feel How You Eat

While nutrition has always been important to me for physical fitness, I was more concerned with appearance. As I got older, my focus became increasing my energy levels and feeling better. It wasn’t until after being diagnosed and forming habits around optimizing my abilities that I realized the importance of nutrition for good mental health. Inflammation caused by certain foods is detrimental to brain function and a frequent culprit in ADHD.

Once you’ve gone down a suicidal rabbit whole, giving up gluten is a tiny price to pay for sanity. Not that you know what sanity is — you just know you don’t have it.

Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t give a second thought to the type of food they put in their mouths. Lifestyle is a gigantic factor in mental fitness. Eating foods that promote brain health (fatty fish, blueberries, avocados) and avoiding processed products and sugar will ensure you have the energy and mental clarity to face the day.

4. Your Phone Is A Tool

People love to complain about how their phones have taken over their lives, but we’ve got the most amazing tools ever invented in our pockets. You can read books, listen to podcasts, watch Ted Talks — non stop learning at your fingertips — all the time.

But, with great power comes great responsibility (Stan Lee will never steer you wrong). Just like television can range from “The Sopranos” to “Jersey Shore,” your cell phone can educate or anesthetize you. If you’re not disciplined, your time will be eaten up swiping left to right and “liking” shit you couldn’t care less about.

Take advantage of your calendar and alarm features to schedule everything. Don’t assume you’re gonna remember, because let’s be honest, you’re gonna forget. Use voice memos and notes to keep track of ideas and journal your feelings and thoughts. You know you have to keep yourself occupied, so download the Kindle app and have a book at the ready for down time. Listen to a guided meditation. Take an online course on the go. Learn a new language. It really is endless. Use it wisely, and your phone is the ultimate weapon. No utility belt required.

5. Less Sleep Isn’t Helping

Feeling lazy had me convinced I needed to force myself to do more. That meant getting up earlier so I could get shit done. With a schedule that had me winding down at ten o’clock at night after teaching martial arts classes, it was tough to go right to bed. If I wasn’t careful, I’d lose a half hour of sleep here and there because I wanted to stay up watching television (which miraculously has a way of leading to chips or ice cream). Arnold Schwarzzenegger famously said that you should learn to sleep faster if you can’t get by on six hours of sleep. After years of insisting on shutting down for a minimum of 7–8 hours to promote physical recovery from training, I tried getting by on just 5–6 hours. No dice.

My brain and body just don’t work the same. The sleep I was getting wasn’t all that restful either. I’d frequently wake up during the night feeling restless. It wasn’t until I developed sleep rituals that I began falling asleep quickly and getting a deeper rest. With repetition, my body and mind got used to the same sequence of events every night leading up to bed time. Once I trained my brain, my body knew what to do as soon as my head hit the pillow.

By now, I’ve learned that seven hours is my sweet spot. Eight clean hours can make me feel like superman (mental note: start sleeping eight hours a night).

Recent research suggests ADHD symptoms are often a result of insufficient restful sleep. Sleep deprivation also exacerbates symptoms in kids and adults with ADHD. Your physical and emotional state is undoubtedly better when you get sufficient rest. Staying up late into the night with unproductive bullshit is a mistake, but so is getting by on five hours because you want to prove you’re a tough grinder. You simply won’t be functioning as well. It’s self-sabotage.

There is no magic pill to fix you. If you think of meds that way, you’ll be putting scotch tape on a gunshot wound. You’ve gotta stop the bleeding. Dig the bullet out. Repair the internal damage — then stitch it up. You’ve gotta let it heal and start actively rehabilitating if you want to get stronger. It’s not going to happen by accident or by divine intervention — even though it may feel like that in the end.

Although I’ve developed a good arsenal of skills to maximize my mental wellbeing, I still want to continue growing. My next step will be scanning my brain to understand what areas are being over or under stimulated and adjusting my lifestyle accordingly. As Dr. Daniel Amen, one of the nation’s foremost psychiatrists and a leading expert on brain health says, “Did you know that psychiatrists are the only medical specialists that virtually never look at the organ they treat? Think about it. Cardiologists look, neurologists look, orthopedic doctors look, virtually every other medical specialist looks — psychiatrists guess.”

It seems so obvious now that I want to run out and get my brain scanned as I write this. I’m excited to discover what changes I can make to improve my performance and sense of well being. Brain imaging will provide a road map.

No matter the cards you’ve been dealt, planning and hard work can help you become who you want to be. No circumstance is a limitation to an open mind. There are always ways to improve if you’re willing to search long enough. Luckily for me, I tend to get a little obsessed.

[jenniez-tv]

Hello Everyone,

Its been awhile since I’ve updated you all on this. I had some people ask me when I was planning on updating. I didn’t realize you guys were still reading. <3 Thank you for caring. Anywho, its been about 3 months since I found out I was in remission/done with chemo. Every 3 months I have to get a CT scan, for the next 1-2 years. After that I don’t know how often I will need to. That means that I just got my first post remission CT scan. Man, I got to tell you, the week of the scheduled date I was so nervous the whole time worrying about it. The anxiety is no joke when it comes to getting it done and then having to wait for results. EEP. I got the scan done yesterday morning and I am not seeing my oncologist until Monday for a follow up and the results of the scan. I was not looking forward to worrying about the results all weekend. THANKFULLY though, my doctor who did my colectomy surgery read the results a couple hours after it was submitted and then called me directly to let me know! Ugh, I really do have the best doctors. It just feels amazing that they go out of the way to do a gesture that impacts the patient greatly! And... the results were that it looks the SAME aka still CANCER FREE!! Yay! Now I could finally breathe and enjoy the weekend!

Work wise - which many of you have asked.. I have started working again about 3 weeks ago. Now don’t go jumping for joy, its only 4hour shifts twice a week for now. It is also doing admin work, not direct patient care working on my L&D unit. Baby steps! (Ugh). I was the one that asked work and my doctor if I could go back to work. It just felt like my brain was melting away not being used. And it felt like I had no reason to get out of bed and do anything. It also felt like I wasn’t needed. Don’t get me wrong, I have so many limitations written by the doctors for what I can and cannot do at work because I still have so many side effects from chemo that I am still waiting (really impatiently now) to go away. - I will go over these in a minute. With work though, so far, so good. Slowly getting back into the routine and hoping to up my hours soon. I was told by multiple health care workers to stop trying to rush to go back to work and do this for like 6 months until I am due for another evaluation. I legit said.. I mean the only reason I want to work more is because who can live off of only working 8 hours a week?? Not me... I was BLESSED enough to get so many donations from so many people last year when I first found out I had cancer. But as you all know, all those doctor appointments, surgeries, chemo, etc is not cheap.. even with insurance. And of course I still had bills to pay monthly. So all the donated money is now depleted and I need money to pay my bills. Otherwise, I really wouldn’t rush into working my body that has just been through hell. Don’t worry though, I’m not jumping in and am really trying to be realistic. Plus, its not like I’ll get approved to go straight back in anyways even if I wanted lol. Honestly though, any suggestions? Oh and just for shits and giggles.. my very first day back working only 4 hours.. I went home and slept for 5 hours.. LOL

As for my side effects, I was told they would start going away after a few months (and now that its been a few months..) GO AWAY! I still have neuropathy - tingling, numbness, pain in my fingers and toes (which is also the most annoying one), fatigue, loss of balance, wonky ass emotions, chemo brain, umm.. I know I have a few more but I’m having trouble thinking of it. (Example of my stupid chemo brain winning). The neuropathy is worse during the winter because of the cold weather and ugh it is just so frustrating. Having trouble buttoning/zipping up my clothes/jackets, tying my shoelaces, holding/picking up stuff that’s cold, bending my fingers to grip and hold stuff.. you get the picture. Its hard at work too because the office I am using is shared with 2 others. One of them likes it cold.. and her temperature of it feeling nice is my omg its freaking freezing!! My hands are so cold (even with hand warmers) that it becomes hard to type. My fingers legit get cold as soon as I stop holding the hand warmer. I also have a hand warmer that plugs into the computer but it doesn’t get my fingers =\. I think i need to buy a small portable personal heater that goes on my desk and it pointed right at my fingers or something. =[. I was told if i still have neuropathy after a year it may never go away. Thankfully, I think it is a little better than before when I was still on chemo. So I’m really hoping it will go away. *fingers crossed*.

I did start working out again! I’m only going about twice a week and I have to stop a lot because I’m nauseous, lightheaded, dizzy, and really fatigued. I have to use the lightest weights and do all the exercises slower. It’s annoying because its such a backtrack from where I was, but hey, at least I’m working out again right? That’s what I have to keep telling myself. -_-.

As for my incision.. its getting better. After it healed all nicely (the last picture that was posted) it decided to hypertrophic on me!! Aka it like tripled in size and raised up! It also got super red! I feel like it happened over night or something. SO upsetting.. I swear I thought I was in the clear and the incision would be so thin, light pink and not very noticeable. Sigh. I also have a lot of scar tissue all over my abomden from the surgery that really is limiting my range of motion. So, I started seeing a chiropractor who do ART (active release technique). Pretty much it means that this technique is used to help break up scar tissue, decrease the pain, and increase the range of motion. (Its used for many other things but that’s what it is used for for me). I have been going twice a week for about 6 weeks now. When I first went, I showed the doctor how far I could lean back and was literally just standing up super straight hahahaha. Now, I can definitely lean back about maybe 30% on a good day? It likes to retract back so fast so i need to continuously stretch it out. THey do/use so many different tools and techiniques to work on it.. but lets just say.. NONE of it feels good. In fact, its pretty uncomfortable lol. I mean its breaking up scar tissue.. why would it feel good? The pain is worth it because not only do I have more range of motion, the pain is definitely less and the scar is actually softer/smoother. I’m no where near close to being done but I’m off to a good start, that’s for sure!

Anywho, I feel like I typed a lot and everything looks like its just being mashed together so I think I’m done for now. Feel free to ask me any questions though! Or/and let me know what other stuff you’re curious about so I can make sure to address it in my next post!

[silverwhisp]

I’ve Completed KH3 And I Have Thoughts.

I have finished KH3 short of the side stuff like the ultima weapon, classic kingdom, gummi ship stuff, battle portals and the cooking. I have some thoughts. First off, I loved this game allot. I only have a couple of complaints gameplay wise and three story wise but all in all, I loved every minute of this game. For those who don’t want to read everything I’d give the game a solid 8.5/10. It was amazing but a few small flaws and the three story issues I had made me bring the score down. First I will discuss the issues cause I feel that’s what one should do when critiquing art. I will offer solutions where I can. 

I will discuss my gameplay complaints first.

The manual lock on is ass while the auto lock on is decent. I almost never used the manual lock on due to the fact it can just drag the camera where ever it wanted. Especially if enemies start flying. This is largely due to how often you spend in the air while in combat. The auto lock is good though and doesn’t seem to change targets unless you make it or bump into another enemy. The manual lock is good for human sized bosses though. Short of making the camera tighter this may not be able to be fixed.

The game is to damn easy. I had this issue in BBS and DDD after I got to level 30 and beyond. The game becomes easy even on proud. This is largely due to bad enemy health scaling. They still can hit damn hard and enemies like the Ice Dragon still are dangerous. But since the enemy’s health and defense don’t scale up better the game becomes real easy after level 40. I don’t doubt they will patch in a critical mode which may be a better way to play this game. Just better enemy scaling would fix this problem.

That’s all my gameplay complaints now for story ones. SPOILERS will be discussed so leave while you can.

The game has bad pacing in the Disney worlds. Some like Olympus, Toy Box, San Fransokyo and Kingdom Of Corona have great pacing while Monstropolis is meh and ones like Pirates and Arendelle were just awful. Why are you cheering for Anna and Elsa Sora? You didn’t do anything you turd. This could have been fixed if they added intervals in between all the worlds to reset the pacing and if they just followed the movies from start to finish in their entirety instead of jumping around.

Twilight Town is more of a bus stop then a world. They should have made it bigger and included old areas to explore. Even an expanded sewer system would have been fun. No story reason needed it just exists. Oh well.

These next issues ARE MAJOR SPOILERS so leave now if you don’t want to be spoiled.

What the fuck is Nomura’s issue with writing a good arc for Kairi? I mean they set her up to be training to become a bad ass and we don’t get to see either the training or a decent fight scene. We fight with her once, she gets kidnapped, and then fucking dies!? I’m starting to think Nomura doesn’t know how to write female characters. That may be one of the reasons they dropped him from FF Versus XIII since females had big roles in the story. He fucked Kairi over and made her the least likable and cared about character in the fucking finale of this Saga to me. What the hell? This alone may actually get me to start my own series on something I’ve been thinking about for awhile. Jesus. The death isn’t the issue its that there was no build up for her.

The last story complaint is a small one. I saw Sora’s “death” coming since death seemed to be a theme in allot of the world’s we went to. Flynn, Anna, Jack, and Tadashi were or are dead at some point. Even Young Xehanort hinted at it when he said, “There is a high price to pay for wielding such power recklessly (...) There is no saving you.” The issues I have with the “death” of Sora is that it means nothing. Nomura said he will be the protagonist for the foreseeable future. If he didn’t say that then the death would be okay. The main complaint about this is the final scene on Destiny Islands where everyone sees Kairi and Sora but Sora just gets Thanos’d. That shouldn’t have been in there. There are two scenarios that would work way better than that one in my eyes.

One: Everyone is just looking out to the sea and the music goes quiet. All you can hear is the sounds of the waves and it zooms to Riku and he just smiles.

Two: Same thing but Kairi comes from the ocean in tears and Riku helps her up. They all look at her and she shakes her head. Everyone gets solemn until Riku chuckles. He smiles and says, “That knuckle head always getting into trouble. He’ll be back. Even if I have to drag him home.”

Maybe its stupid but if you removed the scene where Sora turns into smoke or whatever, the ending would have allot more impact.

Those are all my complaints for the game. Like I said solid overall but with a few issues that could easily be fixed.

Now for the stuff I loved about the game. Gameplay Is First

All the worlds were so much damn fun to explore. I easily spent and extra couple hours in each just looking around for chests, emblems, Easter eggs, and ingredients. Even Pirates was fun and I was worried it’d be gimmicky due to the ship mechanic but nope it was so much fun. The only one that was less fun was Monstropolis but since it takes place in a factory its okay. It seemed more into hidden paths than open places which is fine.

I haven’t had that much fun with a combat system since playing as Vergil In Devil May Cry 4 Special edition and that’s saying something. His combat was so smooth and easy to experiment with I didn’t think it could be beat but KH3′s comes close with transformations and grand magic. The attractions are a bonus though I didn’t use them allot. There wasn’t a need at later levels.

Thank god for combo cancelling with dodges and slides. Against the Gigas, which are the only enemies that pose a threat now, its a god send.

Flowmotion is fun to use and not over powered like in DDD. No more spamming air slam at early levels.

The party members all feel useful. Not many died in combat and seemed smart enough to back off when they’re in danger. Donald also heals based on need versus what he did before. Like if I was out of magic and potions he would heal me over goofy even if we had similar amounts of health.

There wasn’t a single boss I didn’t like short of Dark Baymax since it felt so slow. Skoll is now my favorite heartless design finally surpassing the Wyvern from Kingdom Hearts 1.

That’s all for gameplay since I could go on and on.

Now for story stuff. SPOILERS INCOMING! All the original story stuff for the KH characters was amazing. Anti-Aqua’s theme was so heartbreaking and beautiful and what she said as we fought made me feel like shit even though it was Mickey’s fault for leaving her there. Vanitas’ voice is god like and his scenes are so good. Him calling Ventus and Sora a brother to him makes sense yet unsettled me with the tone he used. ALL OF THE TRIO’S BEING REUNITED!!! I cried when Xion, Roxas and Axel hugged and cried. I was so happy they got to be together. Aqua’s reunion with Terra and Ven was also beautiful. Xehanort’s story beats were great and the man they got to replace the late Leonard Nimoy is amazing. Sounds more sickly and dying like he should at this point. The twist where Terranort wrecks everyone before we go back into time was a fucking shock and amazing. THEN LINGERING WILL SHOWING UP! The voice for Lingering will was amazing. DONALD’S ZETAFLARE HOLY SHIT! All the foreshadowing of Sora’s “Death” or “Disappearance.” Death was talked about allot and Young Xehanort even said Sora couldn’t be saved since Sora uses the power of waking so recklessly. All the Disney characters who met organization members being sick of their shit before they even talk. Woody especially. “I bet you’ve never been loved.” and “That makes you more hollow than any toy.” My son I am so proud. All the instagram style posts were so cute. The epilogue was mind blowing. I knew that sarcastic sniper knew way more than he let on but him being Luxu was a fucking shock. Amazing. And the secret ending seems to be hinting that Sora’s been given a second chance in the form of The Reaper game from TWEWY. Either its going to be DLC which Nomura said if he did decide to do he’d do free stuff and/or one big dlc that adds to the experience in a big way or the next game opens with The Reaper Game. Riku being in Verum Rex is interesting to me. Maybe he realizes Sora isn’t in the realm of light and after talking with Goofy and Donald he learns of Verum Rex and how Sora was tossed in so he goes looking for him there. And finally the Master of Masters looking at the moon and forming a heart with his hands. Is he looking for a new plain of existence for everyone to live on but before he can move people there it needs a new Kingdom Hearts? And is that what’s in the box? I’m excited to see. All in all I love the game and would recommend it to people who want a good JRPG.

8.5/10

[aradia-hub]

Mercury in Capricorn: Organization Station

Capricorn energy is incredibly stoic - I guess that's why Capricorns know how to get shit done. I may be biased because I'm a Capricorn, but whatever. Everyone needs a little kick in the ass sometimes, and Capricorn is the goat who gets that job done.

This is a period to contemplate goals, make plans, communicate with clarity and organize your thoughts. If we tap into this energy we can accomplish goals in a major way.

Health & Wellness

The organized and systematic approach of Capricorn is no joke. She combs through what doesn't work to develop solutions. There's no cutting corners nor an ability to "cheat". That being said, when it comes to health and wellness this energy ensures that you do what's best for you.

Think of this energy as the coach who pushes you to your limits and refuses let up until you complete your goal. If you cheat, then you're only cheating yourself. The coach ain't having that! However annoying this may be, it's all for the greater good. Push yourself to the limits and know that it will pay off in the end!

During this time I suggest you trust yourself - be your own coach. Make a list of health goals and choose which one you want to focus on. Are you overweight? Do you have crippling back pain? It's time to solve these issues once and for all (or at least begin to get on track). Note that pushing yourself means embracing the challenge that comes with healing - never do anything that will hurt or compromise your health. Always check in with a professional to guide you. Remember, balance is key.

Love & Romance

When Mercury moves into Capricorn we approach our love life with a sense of practicality. We recognize the importance of communicating with precision and have a deep desire for clarity. This comes into play when we are working with both external and internal communication.

The key here is to be thorough, which means that we will need to comb through our thoughts, feelings, and desires in order to manifest our ideal love life. It's time to communicate in a way that is receptive and considerate of varying perspectives

How do you want your love life to look? What are your true intentions? How can you communicate sincerely? Explore these questions by investigating past patterns, deciding what didn't work and committing to the development of new patterns.  Once you have an idea of what you desire the Universe can take care of the rest.

After you explore what you don't want in a relationship it's time to focus on what you do want. To do this, think about what a "happy" love life looks like to you. It could be a healthy committed relationship or something casual - whatever floats your boat.

After making this list compare it to your old patterns. Which aspects can be shifted and what type of work will it take to make a change?  Be sure to pay attention to where your desires come from. Are they linked to emotional baggage from the past? If you find that you're looking for something like a "bad boy/girl" type ask yourself what you really desire. Is it a sense of adventure or do you feel like you don't deserve to be treated well? This process will help you gain realistic and practical insight into your psyche.

If you're in a relationship, then you can use this process to discover where there is room for growth. I suggest you and your partner work on this exercise separately and then compare answers.  Communicate openly so you can ensure that both of your needs are met. It's time to get on the same page!

If you are single and open, then this exercise can help you manifest the type of partnership you desire. Just remember, don't cut corners. If you feel unclear about any of your answers then there is likely a deeply rooted reason to explore. Be your own therapist and probe until you find an answer that resonates with your soul.

Career & Money

Career and Money is Capricorn's domain baby! If you're prepared to work, then Capricorn is prepared to assist you - or in this case whole-mindfully (get it? Mercury rules the mind...ha). Anyway, Mercury in Capricorn can provide career support by helping you gain awareness of your long-term goals. If you desire more leadership, then now is the time to work towards greater responsibility in your job. If you are your own boss, then it's time to up the ante.

If you've been meaning to establish a more defined public image, then it's time to plan for your big debut! You might have large-scale ideas that you've been too intimated to pursue. If so, what's holding you back from working towards them? If you don't know, figure it out. If you do know, push through it!

Once you decide what you desire it's time to formulate a plan of action. This looks like developing the specific steps that need to be taken to move from point A to B. If you're someone who likes to work backward then decide what your long-term goal is and slowly work your way from Point Z to point A. Simple.

Whatever it is that works for you will work for the Universe - you just have to put in the work. Otherwise, your goals will likely fall short of expectations. The Universe helps you but will not do the work for you. You have to open that door yourself.

Friends & Family 

If you've been holding back honest opinions from your friends and family, then it's time to check yo self before you wreck yo self son! There's nothing worse than keeping your true feelings inside. Seriously. I've done it, and it fucking sucks.

I don't want you to keep things inside. That's why this period is so beautiful. Your honesty is being requested and Mercury in Capricorn can help you choose words that are clear and connected to express yourself. Know that your loved ones have your best interest in mind then and are willing to hear you out. I understand that this can be scary, but this energy is supporting you 100%.

If you have a hard time formulating what to say and how to say it, then comb through the details. Practice in the mirror and prepare for the different possibilities/outcomes. This might seem like overkill, but if you struggle with honest expression, then this is how you start to develop the new skill.

Spirituality & Philosophy

Capricorn is often perceived as a sign of materialism, and sure, Capricorn rules all things in the material world. However, Capricorn is also deeply spiritual. We must not forget that Capricorn is half goat and half fish. This means that she is willing to pay her dues to climb to the top of the mountain and find solace. Once she arrives at the top she connects fully with Source.

Something that really gets my goat (pun intended) is when people suggest that being spiritual is inherently disconnected from the material plane. This is lacking. If we're spiritual beings living a human existence shouldn't we learn how to master this dimension? If Earth is 'The School of Life', then isn't it important to be a humble and grateful student?

Develop appreciate for this material plane. Love your body, experience the Earth and enjoy your life in such an abundant world.

Intellect & Communications

As you may, or may not have guessed Mercury rules all things intellectual. This planet is associated with Gemini and Virgo, which are the quick-witted and talkative signs of the Zodiac. Unlike its natural placement, Mercury isn't necessarily home in Capricorn.

However, through Capricorn, Mercury learns important lessons in methodical ways. These lessons include, but are not limited to, thinking before speaking, finding solutions to problems and creating a stable thought-process.

In order to develop these skills, it's important to reflect upon the times that you've been inconsistent with your word, rushed decisions or become lost in disarray of problems. How would you like your life to improve? How can you be more thoughtful about your own internal dialogue? Practice mindfully communicating both your internal and external thoughts. Stop, think and then speak!

Fun & Relaxation 

I understand why people think that Capricorn is a dull sign. I've actually been thinking about this a lot lately. As a Capricorn, I often wonder why I don't have the desire to be more social. Why don't I want to let loose like other people?

I've come to the conclusion that I genuinely enjoy working on my career. My career is what can give me the freedom I am looking for in life, so why wouldn't I have fun putting all of my energy into it? I will live and die for my passions. Period.

That being said, I'm learning the importance of turning my brain off and breaking away from tasks. If you're like me, then this will be an important time to learn what I'm learning - the art of relaxation. How can you put your energy towards important tasks and still allow yourself to relax? Take a few hours to go on a walk, take a bath or, here's a thought, do nothing!

If you're someone who doesn't enjoy working towards your goals, then use this period to reflect on why that is. Are there old beliefs that correlate work to stress? If so, how can you release those? If you begin to enjoy your time on this planet life will become less frustrating!

Remember, balance is key in Astrology and in life. The goal is to strive to live in a place of neutrality and peace.

That's all I've got for this Mercury in Capricorn transit. Use it wisely and you will be able to propel yourself to new heights! If you'd like to learn more about how the stars impact you directly click here to book a reading!

[utapribr]

I never played the games and I saw yesterday that Otoya's father is actually Shining (yeah I'm very late in the news), I'm shocked lmao do you know if the games have other important info the anime didn't show?

Oh my, where do I even start… Tbh, the anime is the tip of the iceberg of what Utapri has to offer, plot-wise. Really, the games have lots of content and potential even if Broccol doesn’t explore it but lol what can we do. I highly suggest you to look up some reviews of the game routes so that you can get the most of it, details etc, it’s really interesting. Overall, I’ll just throw the basics under the Read More ^^

Otoya - One of the charas with the most complicated story arc that Broccoli forgets to bring up even though everyone is interested in. His mom (Kotomi) is a composer, just like Haruka, and she used to be Shining’s partner (music and love-wise), but when he had to choose over career or love, he chose career and left her. He didn’t know that she was pregnant though, so she had a son (Otoya) on her own. She suffered a plane crash though, and everyone assumed she was dead. He was raised by his aunt until she died and he went on an orphanage. In the games, he lowkey knows that Shining is his dad, but he doesn’t talk to him about it (I wouldn’t either lol tbh Shining is an ass for knowing that Otoya is his son later and still leaving him on an orphanage when he could be raising the boy but ok).

Cecil - Yeah, so you know the thing about the plane crash and everyone assuming Kotomi was dead? Well, turns out she wasn’t! She actually ended up in Agnapolis, but suffered amnesia and forgot everything. The king and her eventually fell in love with each other and then they had Cecil (yes, he’s Otoya’s half bro). However, ppl in the island were xenophobic af and hated japanese people, so Kotomi went back to Japan to avoid those weirdos who wanted her away (or dead), but Cesshi stayed bc he’s the heir after all. But his uncles or smth didn’t consider him a true heir bc he’s half-japanese, so they turned him into a cat with a magic spell and sent him back to Japan :/ There he met Haruka and her songs brought him back to human form again :) which means he’s still the heir lol @ his relatives try harder.

Masa - basically his mom was weak on health when he was younger, and he had to take care of everything, including his little sister Mai (she’s cute and he makes stuffed animals to her from time to time as gifts even after becoming an idol). His dad is a bitch on the games OK. That servant that appeared, Jii - everyone who played the games hates him. To represent my feelings on him while playing Repeat, I made this little art piece hope u appreciate:

In the anime Mai pretty much disappeared, but in the games she’s still there, so she’s the reason why Masa is still avoiding his dad and the duty of becoming the heir, because he knows he can’t get disowned, since his sister will be the next in the line and forced to do things bc of that. He loves her a lot, so this is why he doesn’t do it.

Natsuki - If I remember well, he was raised in France until he was 5?? My memory on this is kinda bad. His parents have a farm and this explains why he loves animals so much. His arc was Satsuki, and once he disappeared, everything became a filler (which is very sad, he’s such a good chara;;). Also he and Syo didn’t know each other when they were kids.

Tokiya - Ok so I know many Tokiya stans are super hardcore and know every little thing about him, so if I mess up I’m really sorry ;_; my memory isnt that good ok, but I’ll try my best. Tokiya’s dad never liked the idea of him becoming an idol, and when he decided to continue to go after his dream, his dad left him and his mom. He and Shining knew each other before bc they worked together on something that I forgot rn, while he was HAYATO. Shining noticed that he felt very unhappy and offered him help (and a chocolate cake, which was cute). Tokiya denied until he broke down and admitted that his life was shit, so Shining helped him.

Ren - Tbh his story isn’t much different from the anime and what it said. He’s the 3rd son, feels useless, he and Masa knew each other since they were kids, etc. Oh, and he doesn’t like chocolates. Since he was born on Valentine’s Day, everyone offered him chocolate to the point that he couldn’t stand it anymore, because he felt that he had to eat every chocolate that ppl offered in gratitude lol. He does like bitter chocolate though.

Syo - @ anime when will you quit playing games with us and BRING KAORU TO THE ANIME BYE. Ok so he has a twin brother (mentioned in the anime). What the anime doesn’t mention is that he has a heart condition, and if he gets too excited and stuff, his heart starts to freak out. Doctors didn’t even expect him to survive past 10yo or something. He hated himself for being so weak and short, but seeing Ryuuya on TV motivated him. He started learning how to fight and decided to become an idol to get closer to him. He survived past doctors’ expectations, despite of the odds. Kaoru studies medicine bc he wants to be a doctor and help Syo, and people in the same condition. Kaoru also feels kinda guilty for being healthier and taller despite being the youngest twin. Their father is a stylist in Shining’s Agency, and their mother is an orchestra conductor if I’m not mistaken. His heart condition was healed in Utapri Repeat through a surgery.

Reiji - has sister and mom, and they own a restaurant. Studied at Shining Academy like the members above ^^^. While he was there, he met Aine and 2 other guys, and they became friends. Reiji debuted with one of the friends as his composer, and Aine debuted with the other. They both became idols, but Aine fell in depression over the idol life, feeling lonely and empty, to the point where he tried to commit suicide. His last call was directed to Reiji, but he was busy working and didn’t answer. Aine was never seen again and assumed dead, so Reiji blames himself to this day. Their other 2 friends also blame him. He may look happy and all, but it’s pretty much a facade and he feels bad about it to this day.

Ranmaru - He used to be part of the Rich Kids Club™ with Ren and Masa, but his dad was betrayed and his family became bankrupt. His dad died because of stress, but Ranmaru assumed the debts in his place and worked his ass off to pay it. Since most of the bands he was in disbanded bc of girls, he’s kinda bitchy with females at first. Really likes cats. His hair is dyed and he uses a contact lenses to make one of his eyes to seem purple. 

Ai - Hey, do you remember that Aine story? Turns out Aine didn’t die either! (never trust deaths in Utapri) He was saved from drowning by his uncle, but he got in coma. His uncle, a doctor/scientist, discovered that he refused to wake up because he was scared of the world and scared of feelings/love. His uncle then creates an android (Ai or A.I.) and connected their emotions. This way, Ai could discover more about the world and feelings, and show Aine that the world wasn’t that bad. Their voices and appearance are the same (poor Reiji), but they’re completely different people. Through music, Ai managed to wake up Aine, but freaked out later that he wouldn’t be useful anymore. The uncle/doctor reassured him that he was important and never meant as a replacement. So basically Aine is alive in Ai’s route, but not in Reiji’s route, and we may never even see him bc Broccoli is the best and wasting potential.

Camus - a count just like he loves to say. Serves the Silk Queen and really cares for her. Didn’t really have a childhood bc of training day and night to serve the queen, and his own family is full of his enemies, one trying to take down the other. His horse can be turned into a dog as well (named Alexander). He was sent to spy on Shining and to see if he could find some way to get magic and boost his queen’s magic bc it was almost gone. Cesshi almost married the queen bc.. Well, the queen needed magic and he had the muses, plus those bitches on Agnapolis wanted Cesshi away, so they arranged a marriage, but since Camus managed to get some magic (Haruka’s songs wow), it didn’t happen. He knows about Ranmaru’s past btw, and knows about the whole Shining-Kotomi thing (Silk Quen knows about it too).

THIS ACTUALLY BECAME LONGER THAN EXPECTED OMG IM SORRY but really this is still not everything and there’s a lot more to explore from Utapri and the games/Drama CDs. Hope this helps you anyway!

[ask-the-phan-site]

The Anchor King of Vanity

>It’s time.

Time to show him real news.

It’ll be the story of the century.

Heh heh! I can see the bulletin now.

Then let’s get going!

>Mona becomes our van and we drive off to take Chaz Monerainian’s heart.

>Meanwhile in the studio of A. Nigma High School, Chaz was once again hogging the camera and poor Tina Kwee is nowhere in sight.

So Principal General Barrage is now asking all students, teachers, and even our visitors to assemble in the gym to find out who sent me, Chaz Monerainian, that Phantom Thieves calling card. This is Chaz Monerainian and this has been Chaz’s Corner!

>With that, the broadcast ended.

News Team Member 1: Are you sure it was wise to kick Tina out of the News Team, Chaz? What if that calling card is because of how your treat her.

News Team Member 2: He’s right, man. What you’re doing does seem a little... Villainous.

Chaz: What can I say? In the media game, you do whatever it takes.

>The two News Team members just stare at him. Then finally, they just sigh in defeat and leave to get ready for the assembly.

Chaz: Well that’s how my father said it.

?????: Then yer father’s an idiot. No wonder yer so messed up.

Chaz: !

>A red wave passes over him. When it was over, Chaz was now in a castle where there was a room full of mirrors, a throne, and on that throne was an apple, clearly poisoned.

???????: You put others down just for your own popularity.

???: You claim that you’re a piece of art, but all I see is a mess.

?????: You have a dark heart that limes for the spotlight. But we’ll be taking both.

>Suddenly, ten mirrors broke open and we step in... I hope this doesn’t mean 70 years bad luck.

Joker: Target: Chaz Monerainian.

You are suppose to spread the news of what really happens at your school, but you talk more about yourself.

Yer a lyin’ piece of shit that you would push anyone just to get all the fame and glory.

You even hurt a girl who wanted to do her job to the best of her abilities to satisfy your own desires.

You even once criminalized the man she loved for attention.

As thieves of justice, we cannot allow this to go on any longer.

You will pay for your cruel ways and your vanity.

Spirit: Tina’s future depends on us taking your distortion and making you see the error of your ways.

Mona: We will take your Treasure and succeed in our mission.

Joker: We are the Phantom Thieves and we will take your heart!

Chaz: You can’t do that. I kind of need my heart to make me a great news caster.

Panther: You’re anything but great. You’ve completely replaced the news with your show. How will anyone know what’s really going on at A. Nigma High?

Spirit: I’m surprised Barrage is letting you get away with this.

Chaz: That’s because he recognizes talent when he sees it. Even without that robotic eye of his.

Queen: No. It’s because he’s doing his job. But we’re going to remind him that he has to enforce the rules on all of the students. Including you.

Spirit: Now you’re going to know what it’s like being a Detentionaire. Look like Lee Ping and Biffy Goldstein are about to have some company.

>With fury growing inside him, Chaz’s eyes become a gold color.

Shadow Chaz: You dare speak to your king like this!? I shall have your head on the chopping block for this. Mirror mirror on the wall, help me defeat these thieves once and for all.

>With that, the Shadow changes his form.

Oracle: Persona!

>Necronomicon scans the Shadow.

Oracle Got it! Oberon is weak to Nuclear moves.

Queen: This is my area. Persona!

>I change Personas.

Joker: Persona!

Noir: I’ll help too just in case. Persona!

Spirit: Me, too. Persona!

>Spirit summons his Persona, Tokebi.

>Oberon uses Summon.

Oberon: Now, my dear fan, let us broadcast a very special edition of Chaz’s Corner!

Skull: In your dreams, pal!

Queen: Right. Soon, your little fan here will see the truth about you. Let’s go, Johanna!

>Johanna uses Freila on Oberon. It knocks him down. Queen passes the Baton to Noir and Milady uses Psio on Titania. However, she dodges it. Thoth uses Taunt on Titania. It enrages her. Milady uses Psio on Titania. It got her this time and it was more effective since Titania was enraged.

Noir: Time to punish them!

>After the attack, Oberon and Titania were still up. Still enraged, Titania attacks me. Oberon uses Nocturnal Flash. Luckily, it missed all of us. Johanna uses Marakukaja to raise our defense. Thoth uses Freila on Oberon. It knocks him down. I pass the Baton to Noir and Milady uses Psio on Titania again. It knocks her down again.

Joker: Let’s do it!

>After the attack, Oberon and Titania are still stand. Titania was now weaker. Then, Tokebi uses Zionga on Oberon. He didn’t get shocked this time. Titania, still enraged, attacks Spirit. Oberon uses Brave Blade on me. It takes a lot of health out of me. Luckily, Johanna uses Diarama to heal me. Then, Thoth uses Psy Wall on Queen. Milady uses Tetrakarn on Spirit. Tokebi uses Zionga again on Oberon. This time, it shocks him.

Spirit: You’re free to attack, Queen.

Queen: I’ll see to it.

Joker: So will I.

>Titania hesitates and Oberon is disabled from Shock. Johanna uses Freidyne on Oberon. It knocked him down and was super effective because of the Shock. Queen passes the Baton to Noir and Milady uses Psiodyne on Titania. Titania is gone. Noir attacks Oberon. Luckily, she didn’t get Shocked. Thoth uses Freila again. Milady uses One-shot Kill. And Tokebi uses Assault Dive. Now Oberon was getting weak.

Oberon: This is the story of the century! I won’t let you take this from me!

>Oberon uses Maziodyne. It leaves me Shocked.

Spirit: Don’t worry. I’ll handle it.

>Queen and Noir defend themselves and I am unable to move. Tokebi uses Baisudi on me and cures me of the Shock.

Oberon: You little shit! I’LL KILL YOU!

>Oberon uses Brave Blade on Spirit. Luckily, the Tetrakarn protects him and the attack reflects back at Oberon. It was a critical hit.

Spirit: Here goes nothing!

>After the attack, the Shadow resumes his normal form and a familiar light comes out of him.

Mona: And here we have the Treasure!

>I take the Treasure. It was a toy microphone.

Chaz: All I’ve ever wanted was to become a reporter just like my father and his father before him. I wanted to do whatever it takes.

Noir: Even if it means making others miserable? Even pursuing your dreams shouldn’t be done at the expense of others.

Queen: You have to better plan your future to make sure that it works out for everyone and not just you.

Chaz: ...

Crow: A real reporter tells only the truth of what is happening in their community and not just with themselves. You need to think more clearly before you decided what should be shown to others.

Joker: From now on, tell the truth when it needs to be told and don’t make it all about you.

Chaz: ... Okay. I’ll think twice before I decide what I should talk about before I get on the air. I’ll even apologize to Tina for giving her the boot. I promise as a Monerainian.

>With that, the Shadow returns to his true self.

Mona: We’ll hold you to that.

Spirit: I hope it works. Tina really needs this.

It will. Don’t worry.

>With the Treasure in our possession, we leave the now disappearing Palace.

>In the school gym, Principal General Barrage had gathered everyone, including us, to find out who sent Chaz the calling card.

You maggots know why I called you here! One of you sent this to the school news room! (begins brandishing the calling card) Just because it’s not in your handwriting doesn’t mean we can’t identify you. Later after I dismiss detention, I am taking this to Public Safety Canada where they have experts in this sort of identification! So these Phantom Thieves had better turn themselves in now if they wish to avoid not only expulsion or being fired, whichever the case may be, but also an arrest!

>Suddenly, the gym doors open and in comes Chaz Monerainian. He slumps all the way to the stage.

Barrage: About time you showed up, Mr. Monerainian!

Chaz: I... I have something to say... I’ve been... Taking advantage of my position as senior anchor of the school news team... I’ve been manipulating information to gain more popularity to be more like my father. I even... Ruined Tina Kwee’s chances for my own gain... I’ve abused my status to even make the goodest of students look bad.. (begins tearing up) I’m nothing but a bad lousy reporter! I’ve ruined everyone’s lives! How... How could I possibly... Pay for all this!? (sobbing)

>Chaz was on his knees sobbing like mad. As for Barrage... He was a different kind of mad.

Barrage: WHAT IN TARNATION HAPPENED HERE!?

>Everyone just stared for a moment in silence.

Barrage: Fine! I’ll give the guilty party one last chance. Step forward or pay the consequences!

(whisper) This looks bad.

(also whispering) Not to worry. Me and Biffy came up with something.

(also whispering) You’ll love it. Watch this.

>Futaba presses something on her phone and a projection screen comes down. Then, the Phantom Thieves logo is projected on it and Futaba’s altered voice is heard.

Hello, A. Nigma High School. I am Phantom Thief Alibaba and we had just taken the heart of Chaz Monerainian. And also, by the time you are watching this, we are already half way out of Canada. So go ahead. Send that calling card to be examined, it won’t do you any good now. They don’t even know how we did it. This Alibaba, out.

>The message ended. Barrage was furious, but knew the message was right. In his frustration, he crushes the calling card.

Barrage: What are you maggots all looking at!? Assembly dismissed!

>Everyone came out and were either talking about what happened out loud or on their phones.

I can’t believe the Phantom Thieves actually did it.

Can’t really say Chaz didn’t deserve it. The way he flaunted his popularity like that.

Now the guy’s just as cursed as we are. Something I really won’t forget while I’m at Horizon.

Alright, y’all. Back to class.

(chatting on her phone) OMG, what a waste of time. I was in the middle of setting up an appointment at the salon. Oh well, I’ll just go back to tormenting Biffy. I know it seems wrong, but I just love his company. But still, the Phantom Thieves were here at our school?

I know. I kinda reminds my of dad’s movie: Ace Von Chillstein in High School Thieves Guild. I wonder if I’m the main character in this brand new story... Am I the one they call Joker?

(noticing them texting each other even though they’re right next to each other) You know, there are a couple of seats with your name on it that need to be filled. So I suggest you hurry.

You know what I just realized. All this Phantom Thief business happened when those students came here to look for people interested in transferring to Horizon High.

You’ve noticed that, too?

Are you sayin’ that there’s somethin’ suspicious about them? You better not. There’s no way they’re guilty of something. Like that Yusuke guy. I know he seems weird, but he’s gotta style that’s definitely earned my respect.

You’re so compassionate, Chopper. I also love that about you. (sighs) It’s really going to make me miss you while you’re in New York.

Chopper: Don’t worry, Beth. Me and Emmett will be staying at my uncle’s place there. And I’ll message you everyday. You’ll away be in my heart, babe.

Beth: Aww, thank you. You’ll always be in mine.

Irwin: Oh, brother. What do those two see in each other.

Grayson: You’ll understand when you have someone for you. For now, let’s just head to class. It looks like Barrage is heading this way.

(translating skater slang) Heh! What a great prank! ... It is a prank, right?

Who knows, bro. Those P Thieves aren’t like a lotta people. They’ve actually changed a few hearts.

Including in New York. Like that octopus teacher at Horizon.

And let’s not forget Spider-Man and Norman Osborn’s son... I mean, Peter Parker and Harry Lyman.

Fred (Blonde Skater): Speaking of which, you sure you and Ted wanna go to that nerd school?

Ned: Me and Ted do love being Skaters, but we wanna give something new a try.

Ted: Besides, we get to go to New York. Now I can show up my damn cousin, Chris.

Ned: That, too.

Zed: Okay. Just don’t forget, we’re always bros and since I just got my license (which was not easy since I keep almost crashing during my driver’s test), it’s only an 8 hour dive.

>The four skaters fist bumped.

I’m glad to see such close and devoted friends are willing to go a long ways... Just hope you have travel papers and passports. Now you better get going. Classes are starting again. 

Phantom Thieves, You've taken my heart But nothing will tear Our bond apart

How was that?

Rud the Drummer: A little forced, but very true.

Cyrus: It’s a working progress.

Goob the Bassist: I’m sure you’ll get it soon, Cyrus.

Skeeter the Guitarist: Hopefully before the end of this summer.

Rud: You know I still think it’s a bit of a shame that we’re using that science school as an excuse to get to New York.

Cyrus: Can we help it that Ross Caliban saw our number one hit, Go It Solo, and liked it so much that he asked us to come over to New York to perform a collaboration?

Rud: I guess.

Cyrus: Relax, guys. I already know enough science to help us at Horizon. No cheating this time. It’s just plain old studying.

Goob: And you can count on us to help you along the way.

Cyrus: I know... Thanks, guys.

Grr!

Cyrus: Okay, okay! We’re goin’! Jeez, since when did the Tazelwurm care about education?

>In a classroom.

Aww, man, we’re awesome!

It’s just shame Holger was in class when Phantom of Thieves did heist.

Lee: Maybe next time, Holg.

Wait until the after school report, this will be the story of the century.

Just try not to go overboard like Chaz.

Tina: You can bet on that.

It looked like your principal was serious about turning in the calling card.

He had a complicated past. Military.

Alright, settle down! Class is about to start!

Lee: Sorry, Mom. I mean, Mrs. Ping.

>Suddenly, the door opened.

I hope I’m not disturbing class.

Mrs. Ping: No we were just about to start.

Lee: Why are you here, Dad?

Mrs. Ping: Principal Barrage said that school will be closing early today. So your father’s treating us to lunch at a restaurant today... Now take your seat! As for you visitors, go keep my husband company outside.

Sure thing, Mrs. Ping.

>Me, the Phantom Thieves and Dr. Ping leave the room.

You’re wife sure is tough.

Dr. Ping: I know... But that’s one of the things I love about her.

I know the feeling.

Strength can be a fine character trait.

Indeed it can.

Ann: (laughing) Get a room, you two!

I think this heist was a good one. We got to learn a bit more about our Reserved Members. Just like with our last heist.

I just wish someone would actually let us know that they wish to join the Reserved Team as well instead of relying on luck from our heists.

I’m sure something will come along. Just wait.

Dr. Ping: Same here... In the meantime, why not join us for lunch? I’ve got enough for everyone, even Lee’s friends.

Ren: Sure. I guess we have time.

>We go with Dr. Ping to the parking lot to wait for school to be out.

>Another successful heist.

[brainfoodgp]

Seeds for Wellness Journal/Fall 2017

This has been an exciting fall indeed! Brain Food Garden Project was selected over the summer by two of our partners, Claire Hartten and Kate Bakewell, to be the muse and “client” for a class they developed called Designing for Sustainability and Resilience. This class is part of the NYC School of Visual Arts MFA in Products of Design Program. If you have been following us on any of our social media platforms you will have seen what an amazing time I’ve been having.

As we approach the holiday break and the end of the class I will assist in critiquing the student’s final projects. I am excited to announce that in the winter edition of the Seeds for Wellness Journal at the end of January. I will be featuring my five favorite projects from the student’s body of work from the semester.

The holiday season can be a stressful time for everyone. However, in my work as a mental health peer advocate I see just how deeply triggering it can often be for many of us living with a mental health concern. I have always believed that humor is one of our greatest wellness tools in our arsenal and that when deployed in just the right way is capable of healing the mind.

There is no greater gift to the world than a hard working comic who places the spotlight on the absurdity and contradictions in our daily lives and most definitely the difficulties we all experience as part of the human condition. That is precisely why I reached out to my good friend the comic Sharon Simon to write our feature article for the fall issue. Sharon is a dynamic and highly in demand comic as well as being a mental health peer advocate. Sharon and I will be collaborating on a future project together that I am looking very forward to announcing in 2018. She is one of the funniest people I know and therefore the perfect person to kick our holiday season off with a laugh and you will see that fully demonstrated in her thoughtful, wise and yes very funny feature article How the f@&k am I supposed to get through the holidays?! A comic’s guide.

Also this month we replace our Notes from the Resistance with our special holiday feature Resist Through Giving. Look, everyone needs a break from the daily barrage of negative news coming from the fascist authoritarian regime currently holding our country hostage. What better time to take that break to recharge our batteries for the fights ahead than the holiday season. So for this issue I will feature five organizations I intend to donate to over this festive time of year that I believe are making a real difference in people’s lives.

We also have in this issue an amazing “paying it forward” giveaway in the What I’m Reading Section. And a mouthwatering vegan recipe in honor of our feature guest writer Sharon Simon in our Healthy & Delicious Recipes section.

In conclusion, one final exciting bit of news. Sharon has agreed to take over the Brain Food Garden Project Facebook page for the week starting Monday December 4th. We are simply calling it, “Simon Says!” and we look very forward to hearing exactly what Ms. Simon does have to say, sharing her insights and humor with us all!

Brain Food Garden Project and our partners wish all of you a healthy (mind and body) and joyous yuletide season! 

The BFGP Feature:

Sharon Simon is a NYC comedian and mental health peer advocate. In addition to being a former Brain Food Garden Project Hero Award recipient, Sharon also writes her own successful blog Bat Shit Crazy Borderline and coordinates Life on the Borderline a self-help group for those with BDP. She is a trainer for NYC’s Crisis Intervention Training for the NYPD, educating the police on what it means to have a mental health concern and how to better help those in crisis. Her passion for comedy blossomed at a young age appearing as a child on SNL. She has performed in clubs in NY, Los Angeles and Montreal. Sharon has opened for comedian Jim Norton and taken to the stage with Chris Rock. She has hosted a float in the NYC LGBT Pride Parade and is a passionate animal rights activist always striving to keep her bird and fish happy and is a diehard vegan also supporting vegan causes. To learn more about Sharon you can check out her Facebook Fan page here.

How the f@&k am I supposed to get through the holidays?! A comic’s guide   by Sharon Simon

Sure I know people who are totally looking forward to the holidays with a “devil may care” attitude because I happen to know people who are less than seven years old. Just kidding, even privileged kids are set up for unreasonable expectations that will be met with disappointment.  Even if they are lucky enough to have parents who love them, and want them to be happy, it will never be exactly as they want it to be. Maybe they want a gift Mommy and Daddy cannot afford, or maybe, as was in my case, their Jewish mother would not allow her to have a Christmas tree!  Ugh, I didn’t get to have one until I was in college where my roommate wrestled my other roommate, accidentally tossing me into the tree, which was when I learned I was horribly allergic to it!

I know.  I have listed possibly the most arrogant, privileged, carefree issues one could have during the season of pressured festivities. But do not think for a second my holidays have always been easy.  A little over eleven years ago, on the holiest day of the Jewish calendar, Yom Kippur, my mom passed on.  And although my relationship with my mother was fraught with more than the typical mother-daughter issues, I loved her more than anything.  I cared about her feelings enough to keep the secrets she needed me to keep, leaving me feeling isolated, from our extended family.  Secrets of the manipulation and abuse that I withstood, due to my mother helping to raise a boy, whose mother was too busy chasing men to care about her son, or the problems he had in his mind that lead him to turn me into the object he needed to dump his pain into for the better part of my childhood.  Although the last few years of my mother’s life she did all she could to protect me, by making sure that I never had to interact with these “friends of the family”, I spent my mother’s entire lifetime feeling alone in my misery.   So when she died I felt my coming out about my past could no longer hurt her, and would possibly end my suffering. I am sure you can guess that the love and support I expected was not there and instead I received judgment and disbelief. And on top of that, with my mother out of the picture, there was no one there to make sure I could feel safe to share the holidays with my family.  Oh, my father tried.  The first Hanukah after my mother’s death he brought dinner, from one of my favorite vegan restaurants, to our family party for me.  (Yes, I am one of those annoying vegans).  But when I was greeted at the door by my abuser’s mother, throwing off an insult about my lack of smile, how could I stay and eat it.  I went to cry in the bathroom until I could gather the strength to thank my father for dinner, bring it to my car, and eat it alone doing the best I could to not self-abuse.

Oh right, this article is about using humor to get through the holidays, so why the F%$k am I talking about this - especially when things have changed so much for me?  This year I cannot wait to see my family on ThanksHanukah.  Yes, my family was too Jewish for me to have a Christmas tree but not so Jewish that we do not meld holidays together to suit our fancy.  And sometimes the high-holy days start out with shrimp cocktail cause you know, it goes with Jewish deli.  What?!?

Maybe it is time for you to understand what it means to be a comic.

Well, first-off people are not born happily into comedy.  Sorry if you thought that was the case but it takes a lot of prior sadness, a lot!  And enough trauma for us to develop the coping mechanism of turning pain into something that can be laughed at.  Some of my favorite comics, Martin Lawrence for example, will get onstage and come clean about some of their darkest hours to the enjoyment of an audience.  (If you have not seen the special where he addresses why he was outside practically naked yelling at people I totally recommend it.)  In my opinion, the best comedy comes from digging down inside yourself, admitting your faults, and finding ways to make it funny.  

In some ways it is not too different than what I do during the day.  As a Peer Specialist, it is my pain that enables me to be good at what I do.  And I fricken love the peer movement because, like most Comics, Peers are honest.  But while the Peers I know are amongst the most gentle, sweetest people, Comics are the exact opposite and it was with Comics that I spent many of the holidays away from my family.

Comics love, love, love! to attack each other.  I want you to know something, if you ever find yourself with a group of comics and are surprised how awful we are to each other; understand that it is our sarcasm that indicates our respect and adoration.  It is like a coed fraternity with whom being able to withstand these attacks is par for the course.  So in other words, if they like you, they will insult you.  So it was in part through this hazing that I learned to laugh at what I have and what I am, and although I am grateful for the holiday’s I have spent with my comic friends, and look forward to some of these celebrations all year, (the Fourth of July party I always attend is the Bomb!) something was still missing.

But luckily I have friends with more traditional family lives.  And I have been blessed to be invited to many of my friends’ families’ holidays, but although it is no one’s fault, being around husbands, wives, parents, grandparents, and children, made me feel bad about myself.  And even if I try my best to keep quiet about my lifestyle, no one is happy about having a vegan at their table for Thanksgiving. My plate consisting of red wine and uh, in some cases that’s it, makes everyone, including me uncomfortable.  After being vegan for eleven years I cannot digest your string bean casserole filled with dairy even if I wanted to.  And for some of my friends’ families, roasting a whole pig and making it the centerpiece is customary.  I have never had to fake nausea to get out of eating at tables such as these as I love pigs the way most New Yorker’s love dogs and I truly cannot stomach watching the people I love eat Ms. Piggy.  Although someone was always kind enough to offer me the apple.

For so many Thanksgivings all I really wanted to do was volunteer but my ideals made serving turkey impossible.  Luckily the great hurricane of 2012 changed that for me!  In the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, I worked with a church helping to clean up the Jersey shore, wearing the required Jesus loves New Jersey T-shirt.  Not only did I have a nice time, but my growing confidence enabled me to tolerate the fact that I was the only one there without any family. Mine was, from what I was told, wishing I was celebrating with them, but although I was promised none of the childhood perpetrators I wanted to avoid would be present, I was still three years away from letting go of that part of the past to rejoin my family.  My confidence and my ability to enjoy what is was growing.  After the cleanup, I went to a bar with my friend and her husband only to be hit on by a drunk and disorderly man who, due to the T-shirt I was still wearing, was very impressed with my love of Jesus, Oh Jesus!

Then there was my first holiday with the man I would eventually become engaged to.  To my surprise, he is Jewish, not Jewish like my family, really Jewish.  While my father spends his Friday nights at the movies with his girlfriend, or as he refers to her, friends-no-benefits, (a description of which I am no longer convinced is true) my fiancé’s mother is lighting the candles and saying prayers. In order to help them like me, I was asked to cover my tattoos, including the one my mother bought me for my eighteenth birthday, and pretend to actually have a clue about what it meant to be Jewish.  I hate - I mean really hate lying, I am the kind of friend who has been known to say “yes, you do look fat in that” but I did it.  I talked about Leonard Cohen and my limited experience at Jewish sleep away camp at nauseam.   And although I was looking forward to the day when I would be honest with them, while I was there I respected my man’s request, and found the situation very funny.  They were no more perfect than my family and while they were as “Jewish as could be” they started dinner after 11pm, and were hanging out with me instead of going to Temple, I mean Shul.  I just learned there were only two Jewish Temples in all of history, but just about every Jewish person, including my fiancé’s mother, calls it Temple.

I was just grateful that they wanted me there and made a vegan stew just for me.  Why did I have to be so harsh with my relatives?  Why did I have the impossible expectation that they could change the past?  I wanted to find a new way to relate.  My way, a comic’s way.

No family holiday is perfect!  Not even the Obamas.  I am sure Michele can be a little controlling over how much pie her daughters get to have, I mean, look at those arms!

So neither is my family.  When I got engaged a cousin, I hardly know, attacked me over when I was going to have children saying it was the only way to make my father’s life complete.  I am an entertainer, in my forties, with borderline personality, and hearing disorder that makes loud noises excruciating. So, assuming I could get pregnant, and on the off chance that spending ten years over-medicated didn’t affect my ability to bear a child heathy enough to survive childbirth, who does she think would care for the child while I was out at night working, my eighty something-year-old dad and his girlfriend no-benefits?!  

Sooooo there it is.  I did not get upset, I did not internalize it.  Instead, I just went to the bathroom to laugh it off and write it down in case I could use it for a joke later.  I have learned that we only have so much control over our relationships.  The people you interact with are not dealing with you as you see yourself; rather they are interacting with who they have decided you are, which the longer they know you the more likely they are wrong.  This leaves us and our families interacting with the ghosts of who we were years ago, instead of who we have worked so hard to become.  And this is true on both sides.  I am now someone who loves interacting with all kinds of people and someone who sees adversity as a way to grow, or even better, a chance to write a joke so funny that it finally gets me on Conan, yeah I know too late, but I just can’t get with Fallon.  The fact is it is unlikely that ThanksHanukah will end with me sitting in my car eating tofurkey crying by myself because I want to enjoy myself.  And it has taken me about eleven years to realize that no matter what happens on the outside that choice is mine.

Happy holidays everyone!  It is my genuine hope that you all find your own way to enjoy the entire holiday season. And when all else fails, remember the words of the great Victor Frankl who reminds us that “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” “to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”, but I hope your holidays are happy enough to find joy, acceptance, and laughter in the moment, without needing to remember a quote written by a man while he was surviving the Holocaust.

What I’m Reading:

As many of you know The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a book that transformed my life and the way I think about living in this world. The very first agreement “Be Impeccable with Your Word” is at the core of my personal wellness plan and face it we could all stand to live on a planet where more people spoke with candor and most importantly with integrity. In September of this year I went through a very difficult time and I posted several comments on my personal Facebook page about what I was going through. One day in the mail I received a package with no return address. When I opened it was a copy of The Fifth Agreement written by Don Miguel and his son Don Jose.

I had known about the fifth agreement for some time. However, the agreement “Be Skeptical, But Learn to Listen” seemed rather dark to me, or at least the, “be skeptical” part did, and I didn’t feel I was ready to receive the books message. I have always believed the Universe sends us the messages we need only when we need them the most. The good Samaritan that sent me the book never acknowledged my request on social media for them to reveal themselves so that I could thank them for sending me the right message for the right time in my life. If you’re reading this thank you!

So in the tradition of paying it forward I will put anyone’s name that writes to me at seanb@brainfoodgp.org into a drawing and in January of 2018 I will pull two names to each receive a free copy of the book. Who knows it might just be the message you need for your life to start of your new year.

Resist Through Giving:  

Americans are never more generous then during the holiday season. It seems that the lights and spirit of the season warms our hearts to be both more giving of our time and money to help people and causes that need it the most. So this year I am giving to five charities that in their own ways fight for the resistance. 

1.)    The Southern Poverty Law Center works to amplify the voices of those fighting the good fight in the Southland. To donate and learn more about their work click here

2.) The Dream Center in Newburgh, NY has been working for years now to aid in creating a sense of renewed community for the residents and give them a place to go to fulfil their dreams. To donate and learn more about their work click here.

3.)  Lambda Legal has been fighting for LGBTQ Americans for decades to insure their rights to equality. In these increasingly fascist authoritarian times we are now living in their work is of even more vital impact. To donate and learn more about their work click here

4.). Our partners at The HOPE Program have been working to provide job training to people in underserved communities and provide valuable tools to help families get back on their feet. To donate and learn more about their work click here.

5.)  Rise and Root Farm strongly believe that the food we eat and access to that food builds stronger communities. To donate and learn more about their work click here.

Healthy & Delicious Recipes: 

Vegan Cauliflower Alfredo

In honor of Sharon Simon our featured guest writer for this issue and a passionate vegan. I present this healthy and delicious Vegan Cauliflower Alfredo. It is the perfect dish to put into your meatless Monday rotation. And a perfect side dish for any of you omnivores out there like me. I suggest mixing up white, purple and orange cauliflower to give it a richer more festive coloring for the holidays. Also, don’t skimp on the tofu it is the ingredient that gives your sauce its thick and decadent consistency. To learn more about this amazing recipe click here.