#the paper ceiling is a motherfucker

[escapismkidnappedme]

There's something so tragically funny to me about my university dropping something like 18 courses AND raising tuition for the following semester. I know it's not just my university raising tuition but coupled with the idea that they want students who are in those dropped courses to just- pick something similar.

My brother in Christ, no one who has these majors and wants a degree for it is going to "pick something similar," not when universities are as expensive as they are from the get-go. They're going to go somewhere else and receive their degrees in that major. It's not rocket science, and if it was, it'd be cut with the rest of the astronomy/astrophysics department.

I'm not a business or marketing major so I can't argue all the ins and outs of capitalism and how it affects education, but I am someone who pays enough attention to know that cut degree programs = less students attending = less money given to the university. My predictions beyond that are all speculatory, but I'm figuring the school will continue to raise tuition prices while cutting majors, and soon no one will attend that university for it's lack of degree programs and high tuition prices.

[on-the-clear-blue]

Champion and King Pt1

(Since yall seemed to want this...)

Danny didn't know why he was doing this, didn't know why he agreed to try this for Clockwork...

He cursed the day he defeated Pariah Dark, that great petty bastard cursed him with something much worse than a missing limb or death.

Motherfucking paperwork

And centuries of it, sure there was some meager efforts done by the Ancients over the years but at some point they just stopped.

And now he was stuck behind a desk reading mind-numbing legal jargon trying to figure out what exactly the Observants wanted him to do, the most he was able to comprehend was they wanted support for an increase of dead from leprosy...from 800 BC.

He slapped it with his decline seal and moved onto the next, another plea for more funding by Walker, accepted and pushed to another bin.

Read, Stamp, put in Bin.

That was his life now.

He had become the lamest office worker whenever he wasn't at school or sleeping, he hadn't seen Sam or Tucker in what felt like years...

His eyes skipped over lines of text, sighing as he let the paper drop, his ink stained fingers rubbed at his eyes, yawning as he did.

Stretching back in his chair, Danny stared up at the ceiling of his office, feeling some calm come over his tired mind, his ceiling was covered with stars on pitch black, his eyes could pick out constellations known and unknown, one (and maybe only benefit) of being the Ghost King was that he had full access to all of the ghosts in the Realms, others who looked up to the stars and felt hope.

Watching the stars twinkle for another minute, Danny groaned before looking back to the piles and piles of paperwork, only pausing as there was a bright pink postit note stuck on the paper that he had recently tried to read.

It was both a welcome distraction and a troublesome thing, picking it up, Danny's eyes narrowed as he read.

'Dear King Daniel, I hope this note finds you well, a pressing matter has come to fruition that need your attention. Come to my tower, I wish to speak to you.'

Grumbling, the teen stood, wincing at the creak of his bones as he stretched, he is barely over 14! Why does he have a worse back then his father!

---

Floating through the purple door of the clock tower, Danny looked around for his supposed mentor.

Letting out a grunt as he was tackled from behind, the teen glared at the pint sized Clockwork grinning evilly up at him, "Sup Unc, took you long enough, were you in Ohio? That's totally not skibidi rizz my guy, never Ohio max Danny, it would destroy the time stream."

How is this the same person thst sent that flowery worded message from before? Simple, it was an older Clock Work, as his body cycles through ages, so does his words and how they are used...sadly.

Rolling the young Clock Work off himself, Danny glared for a moment before sighing, "if you brought me here just to sprout brain rot I am calling Technus and making him ban your accounts..."

The small Clock Work glared at Danny for a moment before shifting to a more mature form, "Truely if my excited form is too much for you I fear for the other citizens of the realm." Not letting Danny defend himself the now man steam rolled on, "But that matters not as of now, for I must instruct you on another Kingly duty that you have yet to do."

Danny sucked in a breath and tried to stop the growl that wanted to come out, he would save it for his office and his mountains of paperwork, "Another? I am already drowning in paperwork! I am this close to helping Vlad get my mom just so he teaches me the duplication trick he does!" Pacing the teen dragged his hands down his face, "I am barely in the 800s BC! Undergrowth doesn't need to help save a certain flower that can only be found on one island because it fucking sunk and became Atlantis! Did you know that's how I found out it was real? Fucking Atlantis is real and I found out through paperwork!"

As he ranted Danny gripped at his hair, tugging at it as he continued "I can't even process that because I have Walker up my ass, every second paper is him asking for more funding! Why does he need more ecto? He only has 5 inmates at a time?"

Clockwork o lyrics crossed his arms, watching as Danny raved onward, after he hit the five minute mark, Clock Work grabbed the teen by his shoulders and shook him lightly, "Daniel this will not be anything like the paper work, will you kindly cease speaking and let me tell you what it is?"

---

Billy yawned and decided that today would be a good day, it wasn't really anything that was about this morning that was unnormally good or nice, but Billy couldn't shake the feeling it was going to be great!

Stretching, as he shucked off his sleeping bag, the teen rolled off his sleeping pad and fumbled for his phone, a small rinky dink flip phone he had gotten with prepaid minutes.

Yawning again as he checked on the time, he nodded, he would be able to stop by the shelter in an hour to get breakfast, he could thr pop behind the general store to see if Mister Mathew had anything he needed help with/ was throwing out.

Shuffling around his makeshift area, Billy packed up his things, slotting them into an old military backpack he had been able to snag out of a dumpster, it only had a few holes! Practically brand new for a homeless kid.

Checking over his League communicator, he made sure that the world didn't end while he was sleeping, and set off for the day, humming a tune as he walked through the abandoned subways under his city.

Coming out to one of the less abandoned places, he waved at some of the kinder homeless population, he had been on the streets longer than most, but for some reason a lot of them still treated him like he was fresh out of a foster home.

Taking a deep breath as he came up into the light of day, Billy hummed, a smile on his face as he set to do his morning rounds.

---

Okay so it seemed like the day was purposely trying to make Billy get in a bad mood, the shelter denied him entry since they were full up, which is fine, he has protein bars in his backpack.

Then it seemed like Mister Mathew forgot to tell his new hire about their little deal so he got cussed out and chased off, which is again, is fine, he will try again later when he knows for sure that Mister Mathew is actually there.

No, what was the serious thing that was trying to make him have a bad day was the twenty story tall tentacles that were whipping around trying to destroy the better part of down town Fawcett city.

"Oh shiz...am heh." Shaking his head from his own little pun, the teen ran into a near by alley, did a once over to make sure there wasn't any unexpected viewers, and then called out the old wizards name, "Shizam!"

Lighting tore through the sky and slammed into his chest, in a flash of light Billy Batson, homeless 14 year old was gone, and where he stood was Captain Marvel, Champion of Magic.

---

He didn't do it on purpose, Danny swears mentally as he flew out of reach of the dark whip like tentacle, he still wasn't used to traveling by the Ring of Rage and well...his portaling wasn't as good as it probably should be...

Sending a blast of ecto at what he could only assume to be a being outside of his comprehension, Danny sneered at it "Oy grippy face! Leave the people alone! I brought you here dammit! Fight me you sad sack of calamari!"

Grinning as his taunts got him a feral grumbling and black ichor bubbling at what he could only assume a mouth was? He didn't really care as he focused on freezing the tentacle that missed him, stopping it before it could slam into a near by building.

But before Danny could attack the beast, he froze, his dead heart suddenly pounding in his ears.

After the portal accident, Danny instinctively had a sense about electricity, he could practically taste it when there was a high voltage.

And right now? His mouth was like an ozone ocean, his arm burned once again along the lines of his Lichtenberg scar, and with a boom that rattled Danny's core and left stars flying around his vision, a bolt of white lightning shot from a figure flying not to far away towards the great tentacle beast, making it squeal in pain.

But Danny was still frozen, eyes wide and hands shaking, as another bolt of brilliant white shot out from the being, a man in a scarlet suit, a snow white cape fluttering behind him, and a golden lightning built across his chest.

Danny was not going to have fun this fight isn't he?

[thehaberdasheress]

Great news! After a ton of work, I've got my business's 2024 Kickstarter up and running! It's live now until Sunday, November 17.

I have a lot of projects underway that this project will help me see to fruition, including:

Embroidery/historical costume kits with good materials and accessible instructions

A digital sewing pattern for what can be a partlet, if you're feeling nerdy, or a way to bring damn cool sleeves to whatever outfit you want if we're being modern about it

A system of patterns and stencils that bring intricate freehand Elizabethan embroidery down from (imo) terrifying complexity to an accessible art project

And/yet/also, I know myself. I am a bit of an ADHD chaos goblin with chronic pain. So I've learned from Kickstarters past, and made sure to center the campaign around rewards that I can be certain of delivering. That is, this campaign absolutely will include vouchers for free or discounted copies of those projects if they're funded and they happen! But I know they will take time and definitely not arrive by Christmas 2024.

Therefore: I've been designing a bunch of new items that I can be sure of! I wanted to be able to show off my embroidery patterns in new and interesting ways, and find different methods of fulfillment that are ready to roll out the moment the campaign ends and I get your shipping information.

If you've ever wanted to get all the unique patterns I design for my Etsy shop in a charted PDF format? Backing my Kickstarter is the way you get that.

Some of my most popular designs will be available as decorative stickers, paper bullet journal-style productivity stickers, and a mug!

There are a lot of others, and I'll probably detail more about them over the next week and a half, but it's past 4am so I'll keep this relatively short. The outlines are up on the Kickstarter. Here's the one I'm the most excited about:

Motherfucking CUSTOM-WOVEN throw blankets!

I made the design myself, as the intersection of my obsessions with medieval celestial ceilings, sacred geometry, marine navigation, Tolkienian Elvish heraldry, and quilting. It's called "Mariner's Star", and I'm incredibly excited about it. If you don't know about jacquard looms and how they were 19th century punch card proto-computers, I think you're missing out.

Kickstarter link here!

It ends Sunday, Nov 17!

[joi-me-hoi-me-noi]

Getting Kidnapped - BNHA/MHA

Features: Tomura Shigaraki, Shouta Aizawa and Kai Chisaki

A/n: I thought of this while I was taking a nap LMAO, let's get started and be sure to check out the rest of my writings...(there's only like 3 or 4 at this point :sob:)... it's very short but whatever, I enjoy being funny and writing this so yeah baby :))))

TOMURA SHIGARAKI -

You really didn't know how you got there. You were shocked but not that shocked, it was bound to happen eventually.

"Damn it's dark as a motherfucker in here. I just know they can't pay the light bill." Then the lights turn on to reveal the LOV.

"Oh...I guess you do pay the light bill. Hello." You go to wave but your hands are tied against the back of the chair.

"Greetings, L/n Y/n. Do you know why you're here?" "Nope." He pauses and just stares at you.

"You know some information that we don't, I'm going to need you to talk doll. Or else we'll torture you."

"You calling me pet names is already enough torture for me, crusty." You hear someone stifle a laugh from behind you.

"Glad to hear that someone enjoys my humor. Anyways, you got some water or something." Then your chair starts to get dragged into another room.

"That's right Dabi, take them into your room. Interrogate them." The door closes behind the two of you.

Time to work your own personal magic.

A couple of hours later, Shigaraki opens the door to Dabi's room, somber music plays in the background while you sit on the floor, untied, having a conversation with the burned man.

"Dabi! What are you doing?!" Tomura rips the hand off of his face and holds it tightly in his hands.

"Talking." He lays back on his bed, his head falling off the side of the bed.

"Why did you untie them?" He points at you and all you do is wave back with a big smile.

"They said the restraints were hurting them so I just untied them." Tomura shuts the door and lets out a scream of annoyance.

You laugh and whisper to Dabi. "Somebody's got their panties in a twist, don't they?"

SHOUTA AIZAWA -

As soon as you reached for an item inside of a random home, something tied tightly around your wrist.

"What the?" One sharp tug later and you're wrapped up tight, hanging upside-down from the ceiling. "Fuck..." You draw out the word in annoyance

You go to use your quirk and it doesn't work, nothing happens. Then a man with long black hair and tired eyes steps into the brightness of the moonlight from the darkness.

"Couldn't you do this another night or something?" He rubs his eyes and stares at you.

He walks around your bounded form as you try to spin yourself to look at the powerful homeowner.

"I mean I could, if you let me go that is." You flash a smile at him as he raises his brows.

"Afraid I can't do that. You'll be coming with me to the police station...in the morning. It's too late to be doing that now." Your eyes widened.

A handsome stranger taking you to jail...in the morning. IS HE STUPID?

"What if I find a way to escape from the restraints? What then?"

He tilts his head, a small grin finding its way onto his features. "You won't. You can't break this material."

He ties the end of the fabric to a hook and walks into a different room.

"Wait what about the blood rushing to my head!"

He comes back in and with a single pull of the fabric, you're tilted sideways like sleeping on a bed.

When the morning comes, a little girl is looking at you very confused. "Who are you?"

"Your Dad's friend, I was playing around with his scarf and got stuck. Could you help me?"

The little girl, without a second thought, unties the fabric from your body. You find a pen and a piece of paper to write down your number on to then, hand it to the girl.

"Give him this when he wakes up and no peeking."

You open the balcony door and wave goodbye to the girl before jumping off the glass railing. You shoot upward and rest on the roof, holding your phone in your hand, waiting eagerly for his response.

---inside the home---

"Mr. Aizawa." She pokes his side a bit hard which wakes him up.

"What's wrong Eri?"

She hands him a folded piece of paper.

"Your friend told me to give you this. They just left a bit ago."

His eyes widened as he shot up from his spot in bed, rushing into the living area. He opened the note and smirked, shaking his head.

The note read: 'that cute little girl let me out, told you I could leave...call me! xxx-xxx-xxxx XOXO'

KAI CHISAKI -

"Wow...this is a beautiful place you got here? Why am I tied up?"

He rolls his amber eyes and lays the chair against the couch behind you. He almost straddles your waist but he just stands there, looking down at you.

"You're filthy, I plan on fixing you."

You look at him with confusion. "I literally showered as soon as I got home from my job, what do you mean weirdo?"

He hated that nickname, his fingertips played with the bottom of his gloves. The glove comes off and he reaches forward to touch you, nothing happens

...his hands are really warm and soft.

"You must not do a lot of hard work since your hands are soft... you either moisturize or you're just lazy and have servants."

He's in shock but then scoffs at your comments.

"I'm a doctor but I can't cure you. You're still filthy."

You just shrug and smile up at him happily. "Okay, whatever you say plague guy. You'd probably die if you had a sip of McDonald's Sprite."

...what?

[nihildenial]

On the Nose by nihil-denial (wc: 1,465)

Pairings: Special Ghoul & Copia's Rats

Rating: Gen

Tags: Fluff, No hurt, Animal love, Copia's rats, Rigatoni the Rat

Summary: Special Ghoul believes he won't enjoy pet-sitting Papa Emeritus IV's twelve pet rats. Perhaps he shouldn't make assumptions that quickly.

It’s difficult to continue daily tasks in a quiet Ministry. Special Ghoul’s routine of sweeping, paperwork, and media management was typically easy because of the flurry of activity that kept distracting him. However, with Papa Emeritus IV, the Ghouls, and Papa Nihil out on tour, Phil was left in charge of most of the ghoul’s daily chores. The Siblings stepped up for a lot of it, much to his relief. 

So, that meant he could keep his normal schedule of document reviewing, instgram and email wrangling, sweeping…and now, rat babysitting. He wasn’t looking forward to starting that task today. Rats were considered pests in New York City, only an hour’s drive from the Ministry. Sure, the Rats song was fun to shoot and the cartoon stickers Copia handed out were cute, but the real animals were probably a mess of dirty vermin that the man has managed to look past to find something adorable in.

He probably would get dirt all in his tunic. 

Special Ghoul straightened his belt and hung his mask by his fascia as he neared Papa Copia’s room. He closed his deep amber eyes and took a deep, settling breath before he pushed through the heavy velvet curtains. 

He feels for the light switch, jumping when it triggers the large lava lamp on the side table. “Fucking hell,” he mutters and continues through the small living area to the bedroom. He switches on the overhead lights and sighs at the large metal structure taking up the entirety of the right wall. 

Special stares at it then looks to where he presumes the Anti-Pope sleeps. It’s a twin mattress on the floor, pushed up against the middle wall. The fire Ghoul knows that the man’s coffers are more than full enough for a nice bedroom set. They’re satan worshippers for fuck’s sake; Special needs to convince the man to put his selfish wants first for once. 

Special sets the several bags of things on the neatly tucked bed. A packet of paper is sitting innocently on the Star Wars pillow. 

He then walks to the floor-to-ceiling cage and comes eye-to-eye with the rodents Copia so dearly loves. Special flips to the first page (it’s a motherfucking table of contents) and then the next, which has a picture and description of each of the twelve pet rats. 

Alfredo

Allegro

Buccatini

Crescendo

Farfalle

Gemelli

Gemini

Legato

Minestra

Opus

Rigatoni

Toccata

A star sticker was placed next to Rigatoni’s picture, designating him as Copia’s ‘heart rat’ or whatever that meant. Phil closes the packet and sets it aside. He toes off his shoes outside of the baby crates that surround the cage and carefully steps inside, trying not to step on any of the toys. 

Squeaks of all pitches meet his ears. He finally looks up to meet the excited gazes of the rats. They’re squirming, jumping, wrestling and going between the many different levels of the cage. A bunch of them gather on the floor nearest his face. There’s little dirt or visible poop on the colorful blankets and dig box. In fact, the longer he stands there, he notices how they use their tiny arms to lick and wash their faces and bodies.

“Why are you all actually cute?” He asks quietly as a pink nose pushes between the thin bars of the enclosure. He boops it gently. “I can’t let Papa know he was right.”

The black and white rodent jumps away from the bars, scurries up onto one of the hanging hammocks, then bounces back to press against the bars. It repeats it when Special touches the pink nose again.

Oh, it wants to play. 

“Okay, okay, let me make sure this is secure before I let all of you out.” He checks the corners of the playpen, fills the thin bowl with water and most of the frozen peas and carrots, then steps back up to the cage. The latch on the bottom area is simple. 

As soon as the doors are open, the rats are eagerly scurrying down the short ramp to the cushioned floor. Copia’s instructions say he can let them go by themselves for a bit, so he steps out to observe them.

Special watches their fuzzy, avocado-shaped bodies move with such a feeling of excitement that he finds himself smiling down at them. Geez, he’s turning soft. 

A large, golden rat pauses in its place at the platter of peas and pellets to stare up at him. It crawls around its packmates and tries to jump onto the playgate. Surprisingly it makes it almost to the top. Special falls to his knees and grabs the rodent to keep it from escaping. 

The animal is squishy, warm, and wiggly. It calms as it relaxes in the radiant warmth of his palm, closing its beady but cute black eyes. According to the papers, this is Rigatoni, a special rat. 

Special ghoul carefully pets the rat’s head with a finger. When the rat relaxes more, he caresses the animal’s pudgy body. 

It’s calming. Special is holding a tiny life in his hands, and is being trusted unconditionally . He’s a scrappy fire ghoul meant to fight in the pits of Hell and this little creature finds something good enough in him to relax. He has to wipe the hot tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his tunic. 

“Hello, Rigatoni,” he croaks. 

The rat opens its eyes and stretches its delicate pink arms and legs, climbing up his arm to sit on his shoulder. 

Special has seen Copia walking around with a few of the rodents like this. Sometimes he even puts a basket on his stupid tricycle for several rats to ride around in. 

More of the rats have finished fishing for peas to hop at the gate to gain his attention. He reaches down and picks up one of the docile black and white ones. Allegro paws at the embroidered ghoul symbols. 

“Yes, I’m a ghoul,” he answers the rat.

He has to put the rat back down when it tries chewing off the patch. “No, no. No nibbling off my patches. I know it was a few of you little shits that did that to Papa’s favorite pants.”

He tries to look at them sternly, but their tiny, curious faces make it extremely difficult. Special reads a few more pages of Copia’s instructions. 

“You guys want some treats?” He says and laughs at the eager frenzy that causes. He presses the rectangular bits of sweet potato, peas, and walnut pieces in the different balls, snuffle mats, and hammocks. 

Rigatoni crawls down his arm to hop back into the playpen to join the search for treats. When he tries to take one of the balls to put more treats in, Toccata grabs it and starts an impromptu tug-of-war. When Phil carefully tosses it in, the grey rat pushes it around with it’s pink nose like a dog. 

-

“Have you seen Special Ghoul?” Sister Gwenyth pokes her head into the Siblings’ communal kitchen.

Brother Ezra shakes his head from where he’s stirring in a large pot. “Not since this morning. He said he was going to feed Papa’s rats.”

She purses her lips and looks to the few other Siblings in the kitchen. All of them give her equally unhelpful answers. She turns and heads back out into the cloister, checking the empty Ghoul crypt once more. She goes back upstairs to the main level and heads towards the papal wing. 

She tries not to think too hard about the empty bedrooms as she passes them. She stops outside the curtain, a line of light spilling from under the doorway. “Phil?” She calls.

When she gets no answer, she cautiously steps inside. The living room is empty, so she moves on.

The bed is filled with the Ghoul’s duffel bag and discarded silver mask. She looks over the edge of the playpen by the open rat cage (not seeing any rats or squeaks, which makes her panic) and sees the most adorable sight.

Special Ghoul, asleep in the middle of the large space, with twelve rats snuggling in the junctions of his neck and on top of his chest. He looks so peaceful, his sharp, charcoal grey features relaxed. The rats on his chest are snuggling under one of his hands, their tails sticking out from his fingers. In the crook of his neck is a bunch of curled up rodent noses pressed against each other and moving with their breaths. 

She has to physically restrain herself from making noise. Gwenyth frantically captures the moment with her phone and sends it to Copia. She checks that all of them are indeed breathing and snaps another picture before leaving them alone. The tax documents can wait until tomorrow.

[starsfic]

The moment when Pigsy firsts discovers his Demon Form after he sees his kid get hurt. Cue an angry papa boar and a surprised but excited MK.

It was just a scraped knee.

It was just a motherfucking scraped knee.

And now he had a broken table, a toddler with a scraped knee, and a ceiling that was too low for this form. Pigsy wasn't even sure why his first instinct when hearing Qi Xiaotian cry out was to transform.

"I mean, you have good parental instincts," Tang said, opening the first aid kit and pulling out his bandage. Xiaotian sat at the booth quietly next to them, drawing. Pigsy wasn't sure how to describe the look on their face. "It's adorable!"

"It's not adorable," He didn't go into this form for a reason. "And stop calling me their parent. You're gonna confuse the kid."

Tang rolled his eyes. "Alright, sweetie!" he cooed, drawing Xiaotian's eyes up. "How are you feeling? Are you hurt anywhere else?" The kid was silent. Tang's next question hit hard. "Did...Pigsy scare you?"

That got a reaction. Xiaotian immediately shook their head furiously. They reached over to the pad of paper they had been drawing on and held it up.

Tang cooed. Pigsy was pretty sure he was about to faint.

Drawn on the paper was Pigsy, in this form, flexing his arms. He even had a dorky-looking superhero costume on. Next to him, Tang and Xiaotian stood hand in hand, looking super excited.

He wanted to deny it immediately. He wasn't a hero, just as much as he wasn't this toddler's parent. He wanted to be, desperately, but he wasn't.

Still, he could pretend, right?

"Thanks, kid."

[litepowee]

ᴇxᴘʟᴀɪɴ, 'ꜱᴘɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇᴀ' ᴀɢᴀɪɴ?

anon: two words: gossip-y sae

a/n: i live for sae itoshi, please have that known, this man is (one of my many) babygirl <33

big thanks to my irl moot for beta reading for me, check her out ;) @luvablelino

✧ comments/reblogs are super duper appreciated ✧

Sae Itoshi was never a big fan of ‘gossip’. It was useless chatter among people trying to gain the social upper hand through meaningless rumors. That's all gossip was; meaningless. But after meeting you, his world was turned on its head. 

His room was silent except for the clacking of keys and the soft whirling of the ceiling fan. Academic papers and a half written essay light up his computer screen as Sae’s eyes strain to read the small text. He sighs, pulling himself away from the screen and leans back in his chair. Closing his eyes, he listens to the sounds of quiet rustling assuming you’ve just gotten home from class. “Sae! Are you alive?” Calling out to him, knowing that he is probably, again, cooped up in his room working on that stupid kinesiology essay.

The soft padding of your feet against the creaky wood came closer and closer to him, until your voice rang through his ears again, “Sae? M’ coming in, okay! You better be looking decent!” Sae can only roll his eyes as after a few seconds you push open the door, revealing him leaned back on his chair staring daggers at the ceiling.

“Decent? When have I ever looked just..decent?” Sae mutters, pushing off to an upright position before meeting your gleaming eyes. Cocking his eyebrows up, he opens his mouth to question the look you were giving him before, rudely he thinks, getting cut off. “Who cares how you look!”

Striding across his bedroom you dramatically fall back onto his bed, cuddling into the soft sheets. “Queen sized bed for a princess? Doesn't make sense.” You mumble out as Sae throws a glare and crumples a piece of paper with a direct hit on your head. Sending a glare back at him, you look eyes, having a stare down with the tired male. 

“So are you going to tell me why you’re here, or just continue to ogle at me?” Breaking the silence after a few more seconds of staring, “Am I not allowed to share the company of my most favorite housemate and friend?” Saying in the most nonchalant voice you could muster, only to be immediately seen through, “Only housemate and friend, get it right,”

To an outsider Sae may be sounding harsh, but you’ve known him long enough to tell there is an air of playfulness in his words. “So, what is it? Or do you really just enjoy making me suffer with your mere presence?” The words roll off his tongue so easily, it adds onto the dramatic hurt you’re staging. 

Clutching your chest, as you roll onto your back. “Sae! Whatever your middle name is! Itoshi!” He bit back the urge to chuckle, “How dare you?! You know what, maybe I won’t tell you what I was going to say! You’ll just have to live the rest of your life wondering about what I was talking about!” Pouting at him, you let silence pour into the small room.

After a few seconds, the only sound that could be heard was the clicking of Sae’s keyboard, “Well, come on now. You’ve had your dramatics, hurry up already.” He mumbles out as your eyes light up, grinning as you reach for your phone discarded somewhere in the sheets. 

“I knew you couldn’t resist tea time with me!” 

He rolls his eyes at your remark but stays quiet. Humming quietly as you unlock your phone, swiping through apps until you open messages with a classmate from earlier today. “Okay so, here’s the motherfucking tea.” Giggling, you prop yourself up onto your elbows, watching as Sae types away on his computer. 

“Aoi told me that Sera was caught “drunk” texting her ethics professor,” throwing up air quotes as you say drunk, “it’s obvious that she wasn’t really drunk but totally wants the professor with the way she’s been eye-fucking him in lectures.” You ramble on about ‘Sera’, as all that runs through Sae’s mind is ‘Kind of ironic for an ethics professor.’

“And look, Aoi even managed to get some of the texts sent between them! It’s totally obvious that the prof was into it no matter how hard he was trying to not show it.” Waving your phone around that had the incriminating texts on it, “Sae! Yer's supposed to actually look!” 

Without missing a beat as he continued to type his essay, he replied “Ain’t looking, give me a summary” Sae knows he could very easily turn around and look through the texts himself, but he doesn’t want to risk the chance of making a face of interest with you in sight. 

Sighing slightly, you turn the phone back to you, “Okay so, Sera is basically saying…” He listens half-heartedly, aiming his attention at the research paper he’s reading, “And then, he replied saying 'I see you darling, don’t think I don’t.’ No way that isn’t flirting back! Right?” 

“Huh? Oh yeah, he’s definitely going to catch a case with her and the school admin.” He said eyes scanning over the essay making a mental note that he’s about half way done a 12 page report. Rolling your eyes you continue on, “You remember Terushima right? The guy in my statistics class that I sometimes do intramurals with?” 

Allowing for a few seconds of silence aside from the furious typing of Sae’s keyboard, before you continue, “Okay so he’s like the resident playboy in class, constantly asking people out, flirting with ‘em, all that shit right?” He raises his eyebrows, not that you can see, as this ‘Terushima’ had caught his interest. 

It’s not everyday you hear of a cliche playboy on campus.

“Yeah, I think i’ve heard his name before, guy asked out Rin didn’t he?” Sae mutters out, your mouth agape as you clutched a throw pillow against your chest., “What?! You never told me that you bastard!” You threw the pillow at him at the new information that had been told. “Rinnie got asked out by Terushima? What did he say? How did that even go down?” Sputtering words out as you push yourself up, sitting cross-legged on his bed. 

Sae rolls his eyes at your childish excitement, spinning around in his chair to face you, “Couple of days ago, that guy asked Rin out to a party at his place, and said that there was a spot on his lap for him when he got there.” He spoke as if it was boring classwork he was explaining to you, as your eyes shone at him. 

“Jeez! I knew he was ball-sy but to go after Rinnie with that kinda line? No wonder he looked so dejected in class today.” Giggling out as you recall Terushima slumped over in his seat during lecture. Sae only made a sound of agreement before swiveling back to face his computer and daunting essay. 

“Oh but speaking of Terushima in class! Man would not stop looking at me, and the one time I caught his eye he had the audacity to smile and wink at me! Can you believe it? Never thought I'd see the day where I was the one to catch the attention of the campus playboy.” Rambling on in your own little world, you fail to realize Sae had stopped typing, staring down his screen. 

“You probably were making that stupid face and he thought it was funny.” He mutters out but can’t move his hands to continue working, mind too preoccupied with what you had said. Sae can’t even understand what you’re saying, probably to him, as he thinks about your catching attention from others. 

“Aye Sae! What do you mean stupid face?!” Snapping him back into reality, he turns around to look at you, stoic as ever. “The face you make when you’re trying to understand a concept, you make it all the time whenever I'm tutoring your dumb ass.” Mentally smiling to himself thinking of your ‘focused’ face, which consists of furrowed eyebrows and your tongue poking out as you furiously write. 

Dramatically you clutch your chest, falling back on his bed, “And you never thought to tell me that I make that face?! So you know? Oh I don’t know, not make it?!” He can only let a small smile slip past his lips as he looks at you. 

“I don’t know, I like it.” 

✧ comments/reblogs are super duper appreciated ✧

tags: @simp-lauren @tokyometronetwork @public-safety-network @animangafics

✧ taglist form ✧

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Is He Safe?

CW: Captivity, creepy whumper. For @amonthofwhump Tropeathon Day 5: Covert Identity. (Jax, as always, used with permission and oversight from @comfy-whumpee)

Takes place during Jax’s first captivity.

The Motherfucking Gallaghers Masterlist

-

The ocean sounds like it’s breathing, a constant rhythm of water against the shore. Further down the way, groups of people laugh, throw beach balls, or otherwise enjoy the brilliant sunshine and growing warmth of the day.

Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows of one of the Marcoset vacation homes, the beach is perfectly empty. Private, and privately theirs. At a white table in a white kitchen, Savvie sits, one hand laid over his, watching her best friend speak to his father on the phone. 

Jax is allowed one phone call per week, with Savvie by his side of course. She’s written out a few ideas for him on what to talk about on a little piece of paper. 

If he asks about:

How you are: Great! 

Mention foods you have eaten recently that you like

Change the subject

What you’re doing: Hanging out with friends! 

You love traveling around with me

We have a goal of seeing all fifty states! You’re really looking forward to seeing Alaska

Where you are: Tell him we’re at the beach in Florida

Seashells

Walking by the ocean

Sunshine

Talk about that concert we went to

Ask him about himself as often as possible

I will end the call if he upsets you

They’re really… optional.

Just guidelines on how to keep the conversation nice and light. He doesn’t have to use them, if he doesn’t want to, although of course he wants to. Easier, that way, it must be so much easier than trying to come up with things to talk about all on his own, right? Besides, she’s been able to keep his collar off all week here, and she’d like to not have to put it back on before they even get back home. 

Taking him out to eat and to shops feels like regular, normal life - briefly, Savvie forgets her grief over the loss of her parents, which still sometimes appears in deep waves that knock her over and leave her lying in bed weeping for a day or two on end, Jax cleaning somewhere in the house while Savvie can’t even begin to know how to go check on him or see what he’s up to. 

It doesn’t matter. He’ll just be cleaning, anyway. Unless she forgets to let him out of his room, and then he’ll just be sitting on his bed, or staring at nothing. 

“We, uh-” Jax clears his throat, and it jerks Savvie out of her reverie. She shoots him an encouraging smile, and he answers it automatically before he looks away from her again, looking out at the sea where it laps against the shore. His arm shifts under her touch, and she watches with fascination as goosebumps rise. She rubs at them, watching with delight as he shivers. His voice trembles, but only a little. His dad probably can’t hear it. “We’re in Fl-Florida, right now. Spent last week at the beach, yeah. Picking-... seashells and shit like that.”

“You picked… seashells?” There’s a note of something Savvie can’t read in Jax’s dad’s voice - he sounds almost doubtful, although it’s honestly true. Not the Florida part, but they did spend the last week at the Marcoset family beachhouse in North Carolina. Close enough. In any case, Jax absolutely spent a couple hours yesterday picking up the seashells Savvie pointed out to him, putting them into a little bag to wash and take back home. She'd even found a little bit of rock washed smooth by saltwater in the shape of a heart.

“Uh, yeah, we-... my-... my friends are into it, I guess,” Jax says, and looks at her again. She nods, and smiles, and gives his hand a little squeeze of approval. He’s doing so well. “Honestly I m-mostly just… hang out.”

“Getting a tan, then, are you?”

“B-bit of one,” Jax responds. He’s pale as a ghost, he hardly ever goes outside. When they lay out on the beach, Savvie makes him wear SPF 100+ sunscreen that lathers on as thick as chalk paste. But… his dad doesn’t need to know that either.

“Well, that’s good, then. But, Jax… these... friends of yours that you're with…”

All the conversations happen on speakerphone, but Savvie stays quiet and neither of them mention to the soft-spoken Brit on the other end that she is there. Jax knows better.

His eyes close, briefly, and then he looks steadfast out at the ocean. “They’re nice, Dad. I t-told you.”

“Right, but-”

“How’s Mam?”

The subject change isn’t done well, but his dad goes with it, answering reluctantly and allowing himself to be led away from questioning Jax’s mysterious friends. The first few times he asked, Savvie reached over and hung up the phone, and then made sure Jax didn't call him for weeks on end.

Now, Jax makes sure the wrong kind of questions stop fast. 

She isn’t forcing him to. It's not like they aren’t friends, like they aren’t on a beach trip, like he isn’t having a great time. And he can still call his dad, of course. It’s not like… a threat, or anything. Just that Jax gets so worked up, and it’s better for him to just not talk to his dad at all for a while if it’s going to cause him so much pain and worry.

That doesn’t happen anymore. Jax cuts it off before it can.

Content, Savvie curls her fingers until the tips brush against his palm, and feels his muscles twitch in response. Savvie tells herself he’s squeezing back. They’re friends now. She tells him everything, and he’s such a good listener. They go on weekly coffee dates, just as friends of course, where he sits in the sun by the window, sipping black coffee and watching Savvie as she tells him about… anything. Everything. She’s gone on three dates during this monthlong beach vacay and told him all the dirty details the morning after each one, while they wait for breakfast to be delivered from the bakery down the road.

One man she'd even brought back to the beach house, and Jax had been there, an unobtrusive presence cleaning up after breakfast that her date hadn't even asked about.

All her thoughts and feelings spill out of her with Jax, and it’s amazing. She’d been feeling so alone when her parents died, and Jax has made sure she knows she’s never, ever going to be alone again. 

He’s been such a good friend to her. And she’s been such a good friend to him in return, giving him these trips out and days off his work cleaning her house, letting him speak to his dad as long as he doesn’t start telling him lies or anything like that. Letting him come out of the shell the training place had put him into, letting him be sober most of the time instead of drugged like her uncle keeps telling her he should be.

He’s such a good friend.

He’s so good.

They’re going to be best friends for their whole lives. 

She gives his hand another little squeeze and smiles. He echoes the expression, a half-second delayed, his attention torn between her and the voice coming through the phone.

“... -coming home any time soon?” His dad asks, a little hesitantly. He’s asked that before, and Savvie’s smile briefly fades away, her brows furrowing in distaste. 

He keeps asking. 

Jax’s eyes flicker to her, searching her face for what he’s supposed to say - this isn’t written on the paper in front of him. She’d figured the old dolt would stop asking by now. She gives a slight shake of her head. 

“N-not soon, Dad, no,” Jax answers, without looking away from Savvie. The sun warms the handsome lines of his face and sets those hazel eyes to sparkling. Honestly, you could get lost in eyes like that. If she ever meets a man she wants to marry, and lets Jax date once she has someone else to spend her time with, some girl is going to fall head over heels for him just because of those pretty eyes.

She ignores a twist of some faint ugly feeling, refusing to see it as jealousy. He and his girlfriend can both work for her, that would be fine. Isaac probably has some staff he could choose from, if he wants a girlfriend or a wife. Or maybe one of the other families would have someone. Savvie would have to approve, of course. He'd have to marry someone Savvie thought was good enough for him.

Maybe she should pick someone out for him, she'd know better than he does what he needs, anyway.

“We’d like to see you,” Alfie offers, voice soft, not judging or angry. “We all miss you. Your mam, too, and your sisters-”

“I-I know, Dad.” Jax swallows. There’s a pain in his face Savvie wants so badly to soothe, to hug right out of him. She squeezes his hand again, harder this time, and he jumps a little, as if shocked back into awareness. “Sorry. You… you know h-how it is in America.”

His dad hums, noncommittal. He probably doesn’t know anything about living here, really, and Savvie can’t blame him - she knows more about Russia than she does England, and one day Jax can go with her to visit Moscow and see the ballet…

The thought makes her smile, wistful and daydreaming already about how Jax will get to see so many new things, living with her. She’ll be as good a friend to him as he’s been to her and show him so, so much…

Jax’s shoulders relax just a little bit when he sees her expression back to pleased. He chances a look back at the phone, but of course there’s nothing there but the call screen, the number, the time ticking away in seconds and minutes until Savvie tells him to say his goodbyes for another week. 

“I’ll let you know if I-I can come sometime,” Jax says. His breathing isn’t quite as steady, now. He isn’t looking at her. 

She doesn’t like him as much when he isn’t looking at her.

“Jax, are you-... are you safe?” His father’s voice softens even further, hard to hear through the phone. “Is someone keeping you from having your own phone-... I don’t know, just. We miss you. You know if you ever need to talk-”

Savvie’s eyes narrow. She leans over and firmly presses her index finger down on the red button to end the call. 

Jax exhales in a rush, looking over at her with wide eyes that look oddly hurt. She pulls the phone back to herself and turns it off in case the stupid old man calls back. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” She snaps, her good mood dissipating now, dissolving as she thinks about the question.

Are you safe?

His hands are rough, calloused and with skin that cracks and peels from the harsh chemicals that he cleans her house with. There are circles under his pretty eyes because he doesn’t sleep very well. Savvie isn’t much of a cook and the two of them mostly live on delivery and whatever can be safely popped into an oven and ignored for a while. He has scars around his neck in a little circle, like an odd reddish necklace. 

Sometimes she has him sleep in her room and she holds him, feeling the careful rise and fall of his breathing beside her. She has given him new clothes to wear when they go out and takes off his collar so no one will realize that he’s just staff. She lets him call his stupid family when Savvie should be all the family he needs, and his dad has the gall to not even be grateful for it. 

Is he safe?

What kind of question is that?

“Miss Savvie-”

“Shut up.” Jax’s mouth snaps shut, and Savvie fights a prickle of guilt, trying to tell herself it isn’t what it seems like from the outside. “Honestly, how dare he? As if I would ever let any harm come to you. How dare he!”

She throws the phone. Jax flinches when it bounces off a wall and hits the ground with a crack, shoulders hunching in an attempt at self protection. 

“He, he’s just-... w-worried, Miss Savvie-” Jax is leans away from her when she stands. She ignores it - he’s her friend, he’s not scared of her, he’s just surprised by the phone being thrown, is all. They were nasty to him at that place where he learned how to work, and he just… doesn’t like sudden movements. 

That’s all.

He knows Savvie would never really hurt him, if he’s good. 

Savvie stalks over to the fallen phone and picks it up, rolling her eyes when she sees the screen is cracked now. “Not again. Ugh, Jax, your dad drives me crazy! Maybe I should take you to see him just so he’ll stop asking all the damn time about it!”

“If-... that’s what y-you want, Miss Savvie,” Jax answers, cautiously. Savvie hates this version of him the most, where he gets quiet and barely speaks. Hates even more that it’s her own anger that made him that way.

No.

It’s his dad asking stupid questions, that’s what did it. Not Savvie’s perfectly logical response to them. 

“He… he is just awful, isn’t he?” Savvie says, voice flat and angry, setting her broken phone down on the counter. She’ll have another one delivered today. “I don’t know how you can stand to even talk to him, Jax, he’s so… rude.”

Jax is silent, now. 

That rankles even more, that he doesn’t agree with her and he doesn’t argue. He just watches her, and she can feel the weight of his eyes and usually it just means he’s listening to her but right now she’s sure it means he’s judging her. 

“Right. Well, he’s clearly stressing you out.” She straightens her shoulders, taking in a deep breath. She makes her voice cheerful and relaxed, hoping her body will follow suit. “So. Here is what we’ll do. Until I think you’re okay to talk to him without getting so worked up, then we’ll take a break from the calls, huh? Doesn’t that sound like a good idea?”

He still doesn’t answer.

His answer is not required.

Honestly, she’d just get angrier if he did answer.

Is he safe. It circles around and around in her mind. She’s the best thing that ever happened to him. She was given a cowed, frightened, silent slave to clean her home and now he’s got his own room, his own things, he’s her very best friend. He goes everywhere she goes. She hardly even lets him out of her sight. 

Is he safe?

“Get your swimsuit on,” She says, turning away and pointing towards the stairs to the second floor, watching as he hesitantly gets to his feet, watching her still. “We’re going swimming.”

“M-Miss Savvie-”

“Not one word about it, Jax. You can talk to that nasty creep again when I am damn good and ready.” She finally looks back at him. "You don't belong to him, Jax. You don't owe him anything."

“Yes, Miss Savvie.” Whatever he must see in her eyes keeps him from trying to talk it out any further. Good. 

He heads for the stairs, and she falls in just behind, running her fingers over the cracks in her phone screen, her skin catching at the edge of one, just a little.

Is he safe?

He’s the safest he’s ever been.

As long as he doesn't care about anyone else more than he cares about her. 

-

@whumpyourdamnpears @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @arlin-always-writing @wildfaewhump @whump-tr0pes @iaminamoodymoodtoday @orchidscript @sableflynn @pretty-face-breaker @raigash @whumptywhumpdump @boxboysandotherwhump @thefancydoughnut @mylifeisonthebookshelf @whumpinggrounds

[berrypass-de-murdler]

2 - 24 Under the Sea, Over the Line

Last dumb episode before the season finale!!! Almost an entire season into MOTLE YAYYYYY

Featuring the dumbest character DUKE OF VERMILLION!

Idk if I've posted this before but here are some old oxymorons doodles vnfjkvns <3 kiss now my perfect potatoes

Although warning when I say dumb episode I mean DUMB episode-

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

The submarine dunks into the ocean. The only passengers that made it on were Logico, Violet, Silverton, Slate, and… the Duke of Vermillion??

VIOLET: I didn’t even invite you! DUKE: Has it occurred to you that I might live here in the ocean? VIOLET: Oh…

Logico looks around and is completely and utterly shocked! The Duke SPOKE? No, that’s not it. 

LOGICO: Who let THAT one on the ship?

He points to… wanna guess? A dead human. 

DUKE: [suddenly sobbing] I just wanted to enjoy a party! VIOLET: Ew! You were there the whole time? DUKE: Yus… [snif] SLATE: Well, this is fun. SILVERTON: I miss Bunny…

The submarine is a very cramped place to try to solve a murder. There’s less room than on the zeppelin! Logico is constantly bumping into everyone, like the Duke curled up on a bed.

DUKE: Could you move… this bed is so small as is… LOGICO: No. I get paid for this. Or at least I SHOULD be…

The king crab lies back down and stares at the metal ceiling, and the water outside. What a miserable life he has! And they cruise in silence for a long time.

SLATE: I’m done with this. Don’t bother me…

She heads into the tiny airplane-style bathroom and never returns.

SILVERTON: Wait a second! She wouldn’t even be able to USE a bathroom! THIS IS HYPOCRISY!!!

As he thrashes around in rage, the Duke catches a glimpse of his face. It’s so shiny and yellow… he immediately falls in love! He grasps Silverton’s arms.

DUKE: Be with me. SILVERTON: What? DUKE: I can’t live like this any longer. I need someone like you. LOGICO: Okay, I’m going to be sick.

But he can’t enter the bathroom, because Slate’s in there!

DUKE: Please… [falls onto Silverton’s chest] stay with me…

Silver shoves him off.

SILVERTON: ARE YOU INSANE?? YOU’RE MARRIED!!!! AND THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'D GO ON A DATE WITH A MOTHERFUCKING CRUSTACEAN!

Duke is so depressed by the revelation, he attempts to pull his own head off.

VIOLET: [cries] I hate all of this so much! 

Irratino is on the zeppelin, approaching Drakonia! But it’s so freaking slow. He squirms in impatience as he waits for the Wifi symbol on his phone to reach just one bar…

IRRATINO: THE FAMOUS ACTOR HAS THE BRIEFCASE FULL OF MONEY!!! AND THE FAMOUS ACTOR, IS SILVERTON THE LEGEND!!!!!!!!

This phone call is so loud, EVERYONE on the sub can hear it. Poor Logico is out cold!

VIOLET: Oh my god, who is this?! IRRATINO: Uh… it’s me :3 VIOLET: You killed Logico-

Once the deductive finally comes to, he announces the Duke as the killer.

DUKE: Well, I had to do it! We were running out of air, or we would have, if my figures are correct. [brings out a piece of paper and stares intently] Oops.

Logico says ‘I can’t believe you’, but only with his eye.

DUKE: All right fine! I’m tired of being portrayed as the forgettable one! I’m SURE all of you will remember me now!

He lets himself out somehow and swims away, probably to return to his boring wife.

The end!

Omg I can't wait to write the next episode it has cupcake muppet in it and so much angst

He deserves the entire world

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[senka-mesecine]

Plssss pls pls imagine the letter thing but you are maybe Barnes relative (like a daughter or much younger sister or niece) and Chris sees a picture of you, maybe steals a letter you wrote to Barnes, and falls head over heels puppy love for you

Poor Lovefool.

Chris Taylor x (Indirectly) Reader.

-

-"Imagine making mean son of a bitch Barnes of all people your in-law."-

Rhah shakes his head, voice gruff as the smoky white fume danced around his flaring nostrils, the reefer thick and hot in his mouth, chin waggling in disbelief, watching Chris on his bunk from where he was seated on a nearby packing crate, eying him speculatively mulling over a letter not intended for the boy. Not intended for him at all. In fact, kid couldn't have found a worse person to steal from in the whole wide world.

-"By choice!"-

He adds, finally, to drill the point home in case it wasn't understood, looking up at King, arms crossed over his torso only steps away, leaning on a nearby wooden pillar holding the ceiling of the entire foxhole up. Man bursts out cackling, barely containing himself, his whole body bending with him as he laughed. -"Motherfuck! By choice!"- King slaps his knee, like he's just heard the most hilarious joke ever told. Like the realization just hit him. What if Chris really pursued this thing once he rotated back into the world and invertedly tied himself to the literal devil by contract of law. Thing is, Taylor had enough balls to be sneaking away with the Staff Sergeant's correspondence every now and again and while the boys in The Underground hoped he would've outgrown what they collectively decided is mere curiosity, horniness for anything female after long weeks out in the bush, but Taylor wasn't relenting. Taylor was really interested in Barnes' blood relative back in the world. Went from being funny to downright comedic. And from comedic to dangerous. More so when Chris wasn't even listening. He really was in that deep.

-"This whole thing ends and rich boy's havin' a fancy cookout back home to celebrate rotatin' back into the world and Barnes' there showing up to have himself a plate on grandma's front porch with a shotgun in his truck. Hoo, to be a fly on that wall, man!"-

King muses practically doing a twirl, a little way too excited for good measure, immersed into his own entertained reverie, throwing his head back with a smile like somewhere deep down, the image was way too colorful to resist. He could already visualize a newspaper headline. Plenty dead. Even more wounded. Rhah shivers and shrugs in his own skin. He did not, in fact, want to be a fly on that figurative wall. He saw firsthand what Barnes tended to be like when he was angry and the sight sure wasn't pretty. Yet something about Taylor's unweaning interest in spite of the risks never ceased to strike them as hilarious yet vaguely horrifying. One would think that after the war, they'd want to be rid of guys like Barnes for good, pray to God they never meet anyone like him ever again, 'cept maybe in their worst fucking nightmares, not get even closer to them. Nobody sane would ever want that. Rhah leans his elbows on his knees, exasperated and sighing deeply, crushing the ash of his reefer in a nearby tray once Chris says nothing to their warnings disguised as humor, not a single reaction out of him, good or bad, his distant, focused face illuminated by a nearby petrol lamp and still glued to that one fucking piece of paper fished out of one envelope that should be anywhere but down here. That letter being down here just about painted a target on their collective asses. Taylor was either a white knight for risking it or a complete and utter idiot. Bobby Darin would write songs about shit like this.

-"But this lover boy ain't hearin' shit or reason. He's head over heels!"-

Rhah comments, deadly serious, balancing the cigarette between his fingers.

Never taking his eyes off of Chris never taking eyes off of you.

Or rather, your penned words. The thing that started this all.

-"Hit by the deadliest high there is. Ain't no known cure for it."-

He's known people to quit weed, quit the needle, quit the powder, go cold turkey, quit stealing, quit slumming, but he's never known people get off of love before. No talking sense into someone like that, in fact, the more you tried, the worse it tended to get. That's when the prospect only had the habit to get more attractive, like forbidden fruit just out of reach. It's only then that he gets Chris's attention; setting down the piece of paper and pressing it to his chest like a holy relic, his head sinking into his bunk's pillow, Rhah can swear he spots stars in Taylor's eyes, like the distant wedding bells were already ringing out in his head. It's like the boy either didn't realize or didn't care to realize that if Barnes or any of his lapdogs ever found out, there would be blood. Which was precisely why Rhah could conclude this was a genuine matter of the heart and not mere blue balls. Kid was enamored.

-"Yeah, I think I am."-

Is all Chris murmurs quietly, tucking the paper into the inside pocket of his jacket.

Shit.

Must've been a hell of a letter.

[blackjackkent]

By far the most annoying thing about the battle with the Avatar of Myrkul is this motherfucker:

Fundamentally what this means is that anyone near the big boy cannot get healed, which is a problem given that Rakha has the constitution, robustness, and mental stability of a single sheet of tissue paper.

Nevertheless we persist.

MVP status for this fight goes to Lae'zel, who landed a disarming attack on the first strike of the battle and knocked Myrkul's giant-ass scythe out of its hands, then action surged four attacks on it and dazed it with a pommel strike.

Aylin continues to eat shit repeatedly every time I do this fight, which I continue to blame on her having been a century out of practice, bc she always does a lot better in Act 3. :P

In the end, Rakha gets the final blow with a barrage of magic missiles that smash in the avatar's skull mask and send a shower of bone splinters raining down around them.

-----

The monstrous form fades. Ketheric collapses at Rakha's feet, a man again, mortal. His blood soaks him from head to foot, drips out in gory spatters on the rock.

The beast screams with glee in Rakha's head, watching him die. You mocked me, but you die like all the others, whimpering, pitiful. Who is the mad dog now?

"Impossible," he wheezes. "Death cannot take me... I am its master..."

He struggles to his knees, his eyes lifting again towards the cavern's ceiling. "My Lord! Hear me!"

Silence, but for the low slap of water against the rock around them. His shoulders slump. Blood drops through his beard, along the ridges of his armor.

"Nothing..." he whispers. "I am forsaken."

She steps forward, grips the front of his armor, gives a short, sharp jerk. "Answer me before you die, Chosen of Myrkul," she growls. "Tell me what I need to know. Who am I?"(*)

His eyes drift out of focus past her shoulder. "You... have no idea what you've done..." he whispers weakly.

"WHO AM I?!" she bellows, releasing him with a jerk. He nearly topples over, all the strength gone from his body. Light begins to pour from his eyes, his mouth.

"Isobel..." he whispers, and she watches and feels the deep shuddering pleasure of the beast as the life flows out of his body.

His corpse collapses in a heap at her feet.

Silence.

Rakha's head aches. She stares down at Ketheric's body. This has been her only goal for so long, almost since the crash, almost as long as she can remember, and now it is finished. She feels empty, drained - she waits for the feeling of fulfillment and it doesn't come.

What do I do now?

Before she can muster the energy to speak, a pale white glow streaks down from above them, an avenging angel homing in on the broken body before them.

"THE VILLAIN IS DEAD!"

The Nightsong. Aylin. She slams her boot into Ketheric's head and Rakha watches as his skull explodes, brain matter spattering in all directions, coated in black, corrupted blood.

"THE WRETCH!" she howls. "TOGETHER WE HAVE CRUSHED HIM, BODY AND BRAIN!"

Rakha watches, fascinated. Aylin's eyes are alight with her goddess's magic. Her movements are jerky and frantic, desperate. She pounds her boot again and again into Ketheric's head, flattening it into the ground, into a pile of shapeless meat.

She is just as majestic in this moment as she was in her flight out of the Shadowfell - but Rakha sees beneath that facade of light. Underneath is a river of rage, the fury of the prisoner released after a century of torment. Vengeance. Animal destruction.

This is what Rakha looks like when the beast overtakes her, reflected in the form of this creature of ostensible good. It is surreal to see it in another.

Eventually Aylin calms. Her eyes lift; the light has faded from them. Rakha recognizes that look on her face, too - the weary acknowledgement of her own violence, its mindlessness, its ultimate pointlessness.

"Now," the aasimar says softly. "Now we pick our way toward our fates... unleashed."

Rakha doesn't answer. What is my fate? she thinks bitterly. A lost animal, doomed to stagger forward forever, hoping only to sink her teeth into the 'right' prey.

To her astonishment, Aylin straightens and inclines her head with a sudden air of respect. "You have my sword - my fealty."

Fealty. Rakha blinks, bewildered. Why?

She draws a slow breath and lets it out. Because there is more ahead. Ketheric is dead, but the Absolutists still live. The tadpole still sits in her head. Her vengeance isn't complete.

And she realizes she is afraid. She is beginning to learn that there is nothing good for her in the memories that are lost to her - and also that following the trail of the cult will only lead her to more glimpses of whatever dark path she once walked. She will have no rest from the beast, from the war inside her head, because the path that lies ahead will be as soaked in blood as the path behind.

But the cult marches on the city. Rakha has never seen it - but Wyll has. It was his city, once. His father is still in the Absolute's clutches. She has to keep going - for Wyll, if not for herself.

She swallows. She doesn't feel able to speak. But she meets Aylin's eyes and she nods.

Aylin returns the nod, sober and serious as the grave. Perhaps she understands something of the turmoil that boils in Rakha's head, just as Rakha understood the rage that burns in hers. "Do what you must," she says softly. "Then we fly this foul place."

[amitiel-truth]

Not Ten Babies? (Vash the Stampede x Reader) (98! Version)

Note: This is my SIXTH time writing here, please don't look into most of the details, I made some up, these ideas were prompted by my chat with Vash at Character.AI (The motherfucker's insatiable), more info will come if I decided to make more.

Warning: ⚠️Not yet~⚠️

Ten Babies

(Tristamp Version)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

(Trigun 98! Version)

Part 2

Summary: It's not every day that a famous outlaw wants to date you.

"It's no good, Henry."

"He's completely out of it, dead to the world."

two call escorts commented, walking out of Vash's room

"Guess I gave him a little too much to drink, I'm sorry I called you two out here for nothin' I didn't think he'd pass out."

"It's really too bad, isn't it? you don't get a chance to sleep with a guy like that every day. hah, well... see you around."

"Bye, girls!"

"Bye."

with that, the people Vash partied with finally left him alone to rest.

He just saved Inepril from Elizabeth's vengeful plan against him, and the city is highly grateful that he just saved them yet again, but it seemed like the alcohol never actually reached his head.

Let's be honest, he can't even hold down a beer.

After the people trying to entertain him left, he flips himself over to lie on the bed.

"Could I be regretting it...just a little?" Vash sighed as he stares at the ceiling, deep in thought on a certain woman.

"(Y/N)..."

5 years ago

stumbling upon the bustling city of Febrari, Vash looks around for a place to wind down after booking a dingy hotel room, he walks out of the place, he surveys the area

"Now, for a place to hangout to-" Before Vash could even look around, he dodges a speeding truck.

"WATCH WHERE YOUR WALKING! I HAVE DELIVERIES TO MAKE!!." The driver yells as Vash loses his balance, walking backward into a busy area full of people, he bumps into one of them.

"Hey! I'm walking here!" The angry passerby yells, before pushing Vash into the center of a service road where he lies flat on the ground, a mess.

"I've only been to this city today and it's already getting worse, could this day get any worse?." Vash questions, sighing to himself as he hears rumbling coming for him

a stampede of Thomas birds runs him over.

" Sorry about that bud!." The herder yells, before throwing him a pamphlet as he runs after his herd as Vash sat up, bruised and sore.

"At least this one apologized" Vash groans, holding his head in pain, before noticing the pamphlet thrown at him.

HAPPY HOUR AT THE ROSEBUSH BAR!!!

EVERY WEDNESDAY

8 PM TO 1 AM

$$5 DISCOUNT!!

APPLICABLE TO:

MARTINIS

WHISKEY

BOURBON

CRAFT BEER

SHOTS

(n/a: promise, I know how to make a pamphlet, I'm just lazy)

"Happy Hour, huh?" Vash inspects the paper, before flipping it around, seeing a map behind it.

"It's like luck is finally on my side!" Vash sobs as he follows the map, reaching a brick wall entrance, music emanating through the business, "The Rose Bushbar" signage on top of the entrance, the place is cozy, not tavern-like, and not too fancy, plenty of patrons fill in the bar, as jazz music plays at the stage at the far end of the bar.

"One of your finest beers please!." Vash orders as the bartender prepares his drink sitting on a bar stool, light music plays, giving the room a jazzy atmosphere, suddenly, a woman dressed seductively sits a few chairs away from him, and the bartender quickly served her a glass of whiskey, sipping on it quietly, red lipstick stained her glass.

"Heya~ I'm Vash! You caught my eye earlier, and I wanted to come to say hi. So.. what's your name, stranger?" in quick succession, Vash slid into the woman in black's side, a flirty grin across his lips.

"Well this is new" The woman smiles, finishing her whiskey.

"I haven't heard that question in a long while, you must be new around here" The woman leans on the bar table, her head supported by her hand that's placed on the said table.

"I am new around here, yeah." Vash confirms, leaning up to her with his elbow on the counter, grinning widely " ...So what do they call you around here, doll?"

the woman chuckles, leaning up to Vash's face as if in a sort of game, not backing down from his advances "Y/n, Y/n Loverose." she answers as she placed her glass on the countertop, the bartender automatically refilling her glass. "So, your new around here." y/n leans back, swirling the ice on her glass before taking a sip. "Welcome to the City of Febrari, Mr. Vash."

"Well, call me Vash." Vash corrects before leaning up to her once more "...So tell me, y/n. What is a dame like you up to in a place like this?" 

"I guess you could say...for business" y/n trails off as she swirls the ice on her glass.

"Oh, What kinda business we talkin'?" Vash nods at the bartender "Another for me, please. And for the lady, whatever she's having." The bartender looks at y/n strangely, as if looking for permission, as she simply nods while giggling.

The bartender looks at Y/n strangely, as if looking for permission, as she simply chuckles "Thomas Buffalos wings and two more whiskeys on the rocks." Y/n orders, as the Bartender writes it down for the kitchen and gives them the drinks.

Vash then lifts his drink, as Y/n does the same, clinking glasses with him "Cheers." they both say before taking a sip "So..." Vash uses his charming smile again, wiggling his eyebrows at the girl "...You seem to know the place well. Been here a while, ma'am?"

"You could say that I'm here all the time" Y/n smiles, as the Bartender served the buffalo wings.

"A regular, then?" Vash concluded, before looking at the wings "Ooh, Buffalo wings! Not many places you can get those still..." Takes a bite and starts to talk with his mouth full "I'm sure a girl as pretty as you have got all the right connections..." Vash eluded, before winking at her.

"You could say that again" Y/n smiles as a waiter suddenly approached her, and began whispering in her ear.

Vash became curious about this "Looks like you made yourself some...friends. You get that a lot, huh?" Vash smirks before taking another bite "I bet a pretty lady like you never has to pay for drinks or food around here."

Y/n nods as the Waiter finishes whispering to her and he goes back to work "Of course I don't" Y/n smiles flirtily at Vash before standing up from the barstool "I'm quite the special girl around here, Vash~" Y/n places a finger on his adam's apple, tracing it up under his chin, she leans up to his face, whispering it against his lips"I'm quite...irresistible, as the locals say~" before backing away, leaving him breathless "If you'll excuse me for a bit, Vash, but as I've said before, I'm here for business" Y/n gives him one final smile before leaving

Vash pants, leaning against the counter, and leans on his elbow, trying to compose himself " B-business or pleasure?" Vash stutters, Y/n's lips twitch at the thought, sending a smile on her way "Don't take too long!!" Vash calls out, trying to catch a peek at her figure as she walks away and disappears into the backstage of the bar's stage area "...I'll be waiting." 

Vash sighs as he looks at the bartender "...I hope I didn't push too hard, did I?" takes another drink of whiskey "I was just trying to be friendly..."

"You call that friendly? you basically assumed Ms. Y/n's a call girl" The Bartender deadpans, cleaning a glass.

"Hey, you can't blame a guy for trying." Vash tries to defend himself, finishing his whiskey. "Besides, is it really out of the question? She's pretty and knows the place well. I've seen it all before." Vash assumes, smirking "...Besides, she was flirting right back."

"You're a womanizer, aren't you?" The Bartender stares blankly at him, pouring him another glass.

"I'll have you know, I am a charmer." Vash...corrects, taking the glass "You can't expect me not to take advantage of my looks, now can you?" He grins at the Bartender "I'm sure you've taken some liberties in your day too."

"Not with that one" The Bartender points out as the lights suddenly turn down at the bar, and spotlights points at the stage, where the red curtains are still closed.

Vash Looks up at the stage with anticipation "...What's going on here?" his attention is taken, as he takes a swig from his drink

"Ladies and Gentlemen, due to unforeseen events, our usual Singer is out of commission for the night. Please enjoy this performance compensation from the Owner of the Rosebush Bar, the Nightingale of Febrari herself, Y/n Loverose!"An emcee announced before the red curtains parted, revealing Y/n in all her glory, as well as in a more modest, but still beautiful outfit.

Looks on in amazement, forgetting to breathe for a moment. "She's the Owner!?" Vash gawks, allured by the woman

Y/n smiles at the cheering patrons and the music starts

"I just wanna get high with my lover

Veo una muñeca cuando miro en el espejo

Kiss, kiss

Looking dolly, I think I may go out tonight

I just wanna ride, get high in the moonlight

I just wanna get high with my lover

Veo una muñeca cuando miro en el espejo

Kiss, kiss

Looking dolly, I think I may go out tonight

I just wanna ride, get high in the moonlight"

Y/n sings as she moves sultrily on stage, entrancing her patrons

Y/n sings as she moves sultrily on stage, entrancing her patrons

"Forget the small talk

The surface level ain't much that I care for

Putting on my lipgloss

I saw you stare from my peripheral

Yeah, baby, it's been a hell of a day

But I know a place we can escape"

Vash gazes at her with a dumbstruck look, his face slowly turning red as he watches her "I... I may be in love." he brushes the hair out of his face "...She is a siren, isn't she?"

The Bartender raises his eyebrow "That fast? you literally just met her" The Bartender looks back up the stage "and she's only started" Y/n kneels down near the edge of the stage, her finger under an entranced patron's chin, making him look at her.

"Find out how it feels to let go of everything

Be free

When you're here with me" 

Vash nods and continues watching "That's gotta be a gift, right?" He chuckles "She's got me just like that." He turns to the Bartender "...Well, can you blame me? I mean, just look at her!."

"Yeah, I'm not risking it all with that one" The Bartender laughs as he continues to clean the glasses Y/n lets go of the Patron's chin before going back to dance on stage.

"I just wanna get high with my lover

Veo una muñeca cuando miro en el espejo

Kiss, kiss

Looking dolly, I think I may go out tonight

I just wanna ride, get high in the moonlight

I just wanna get high with my lover

Veo una muñeca cuando miro en el espejo

Kiss, kiss

Looking dolly, I think I may go out tonight

I just wanna ride, get high in the moonlight."

While she sings she smiles at her audience.

Vash continues to gawk as he tries to keep his jaw from dropping to the floor

"Geez..." he blushes heavily, his eyes never leaving her "So she can sing too, huh? ...Do I even have a chance? I mean, she seems...unattainable..."

"Glad you realized that." The Bartender commented, making Vash send him an annoyed glare.

Y/n runs a hand down her body.

"There's nothing like peace of mind

And you take the time to make sure that I'm okay

I know I can put stress on your brain

You still love me, put no one above me

You always go out of your way

To show me that I'm your priority

Find out how it feels to let go of everything

Be free

When you're here with me"

His eyes continue to follow her with awe, his breath catching a couple of times while he watches her, he sighs "I can't even look away if I wanted to. She's magnificent." he tried to hide how much he's blushing "...How can a woman be this beautiful? How can anybody have a chance with someone like her?"

"Many tried, but all failed" The Bartender commented as the performance continues.

"I just wanna get high with my lover

Veo una muñeca cuando miro en el espejo (I just wanna get high with my lover)

Kiss, kiss

Looking dolly, I think I may go out tonight

I just wanna ride, get high in the moonlight

I just wanna get high with my lover (get high)

Veo una muñeca cuando miro en el espejo (high with my lover)

Kiss, kiss

Looking dolly, I think I may go out tonight

I just wanna ride, get high in the moonlight

Get high with you

Get higher and higher with you

Let's go to the moon

And leave behind all that

How does it feel, here by my side getting higher and higher?

Under the moonlight's glow

There's nowhere we won't go

Together go higher and higher

(No-no-nowhere we won't go)"

Y/n ends the performance with a wink to the crowd as everyone cheered, some whistles and all clapped while standing up.

"Wow..." Vash gawks as he turns back to the Bartender "You were right. That was a hell of a performance...And I have to admit. It is pretty...discouraging. I guess she's just out of my league, huh?" he smiles and chuckles "...I'm sure she is going to get quite the standing ovation."

Y/n waves happily at the crowd before giving them flying kisses, and the red curtains closed around her.

Vash claps along and smiles as he watches the performance "...Well, I'm sure that will get the blood flowing...is that the usual shows you get around here?" Vash asked still trying to hide his blush "...I'll be honest, I've never had anyone else catch my eye like she did. She's pretty hard to forget..."

"Your really quite the womanizer aren't you?." The Bartender asks, raising an eyebrow

Blushes a little bit more "...Yeah, I guess I am, I just can't help myself when I see a girl like her. How can I not go nuts? She's just...perfect." Stares at her and shakes his head, as if he just lost a sense of reality for a moment "Do you...know much about her?... Is she available?"

"I know that young woman from birth to who she is today, of course, I know her"

"You do? Then do you think I'll have luck with her...or am I destined to fail before I even start?" He tries to play it cool, but the Bartender knows the blush on his face tells a different story "...How many men has she turned down? I imagine it's quite a few..."

"Yes." the Bartender answers, meaning every man she came across.

"...And I'm supposed to believe I might stand a chance?" Vash chuckles nervously, "Well, you know what they say...You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, right?"Vash takes a swig of courage "I'm here for only a few nights...I guess I should at least try, shouldn't I?"

"Well, Mr. Vash, your not gonna win her over overnight, as you've displayed earlier, you're the kind of man she hates...A Womanizer" The Bartender commented as he heard a few patrons order two craft beers.

Vash lowers his head a bit, now feeling a little self-conscious "Well, I don't normally act like this..." he gives a sheepish smile "I guess she just...bring out the worst in me, you know? I don't normally act like such a fool. But I can't help it when I see someone like her. I've never had anything like this happen before...Does she have anything against men in general?"

"She may act like a sleuth, but Ms. Diane's a firecracker, she hates men with passion who objectify her" The Bartender reveals, pulling out a few beers from under the counter and sliding them over to the patrons who ordered it.

"...So I'm gonna have to change my tactics or...does she have a soft spot for guys who respect her and take their time to get to know her?" Vash asks while blushing "...Does she want someone that won't give up?"

The Bartender grew silent for a bit "Regrettably, yes."

"So...if I respect her and take my time getting to know her..." Vash trails off, before raising his glass "I may...have a chance!!" Vash cheers as he downs his drink happily.

"You really are smitten by her" The Bartender raises his eyebrow, making Vash flinch.

"That...may be an understatement" Vash raises his glass again as the Bartender fills it up once more "...I mean...How can anyone not get a little infatuated when someone sings and dances like she does? And she looks like an angel, to add to that."

"Well good luck with that, she's also known for her Legendary Temper, so fuck around and find out" The Bartender leaves to go to the kitchen.

"...That's probably why so many men have failed..." Vash chuckles and drains the rest of his drink "...Yeah, I think that will make it more fun. No fun getting the girl instantly." he smirks, trying to act cocky "...I've got this." Vash then noticed Y/n walk out of the backstage door, greeted by an eager crowd.

He looks at the crowd and smiles, taking a deep breath "Alright, let's do this. I've never been one to back down from a challenge." closes his eyes and gets ready "...Here goes nothing..." he walked up to her, confident stride with every step he took "Good evening. My name is Vash the Stampede. I just arrived in this town, and I heard about this amazing bar. When I stepped inside, I was...captivated by a certain someone on stage. I just couldn't resist..."

"Well well well, Mr. Stampede, this is quite the change of tune" Y/n smiles up at him, but there's hidden malice in her smile.

"Not a fan of my earlier display, huh? I hope it didn't leave a bad impression." Vash chuckles nervously"...How about you and I start from the top?." he then holds out a hand with a friendly smile "Name's Vash, Vash the Stampede. But you can just call me Vash."

Y/n continues to smile "Alright then, we'll start from the top."  Y/n tilted her head "But you must know, Vash, not many are as lucky as you~" 

A slight blush appears on his face "...I understand that I may not have had the best first impression...But I promise to stay respectful. And what better way to apologize for my earlier behavior than to offer to buy you a drink?" Vash offers, turning his head to the Bartender. "...So...what'll it be, gorgeous? Anything your heart desires."

Y/n chuckles "Oh Vash, you basically offering me drinks of my own, you'll have to do better than that~" Y/n teases as she walks to the bar counter once more, as the Bartender readies her drink.

Vash raised an eyebrow "Oh? I see this is going to be more of a challenge than I thought..." Vash thought to himself. "Alright, how about a toast then?" Vash offers, raising his glass "To a good night of fun and drinks?" Vash added, smiling at the girl hopefully "...Hopefully, that earns me some ground in your book?."

Y/n chuckles. "Sorry, Vash, but your gonna have to work harder than that~" Y/n teases.

"Darn, foiled again!." Vash dramatically cries as Y/n laughs at his endeavors.

"Can't say I blame you." He looks around "...I've got to say, you certainly have a lot of... admirers...And yet, despite all this, you still seem bored with all of them. I suppose they aren't interesting enough to keep your attention." Vash deduces as he gives a hint of a smile "...Or maybe they're just too intimidated by how beautiful you are." before losing himself, admiring Y/n, his elbow on the bar counter, his head on his hand, looking at her.

Y/n laughs as she runs a loose hair behind her ear "I guess no one will know."

Vash laughs as well "So...I was thinking...If all these guys have failed..." He takes a long drink and smirks as he finishes the glass "...Should I even try to woo such a woman? You've already rejected them all. That means I'm just...hopeless, right? So, I'll ask you again...should I even bother to try?" Vash asks, hopeful, but deep inside his insecurities are growing.

"Well, are you determined enough?" Y/n leans up to Vash, a finger under his chin, making him look at her "Are you interesting enough to not bore me?" She asks with a smirk "Vash the Stampede?" She whispers in his ear with a whimper, seducing the man.

The finger under his chin makes Vash blush deeply. A slight smile creeps up from the corner of his mouth, and he begins to stare deep into her eyes "Well...to tell you the truth..." he leans closer to her, as if challenging her. "...I've never met another woman as beautiful as you. I have many interesting friends and stories I can share...But no...I've never met someone of your caliber." He Takes a deep breath, his face is lit on fire "...So...yes." Lowers his voice, loud enough only for her to hear. "...I'm determined."

"Then try your best to woo me then" Diane stares teasingly at the spiky-haired blonde, letting go of his chin before running a finger on his red-coated clothed chest "But be careful, I hate disappointments~"

Vash blushes deeply and takes a deep breath, feeling the goosebumps on his skin when she strokes his chest "...I-is that a challenge?" he stutters "Well...I love a good challenge. I'm sure I can show you a good time and leave you without a single disappointment...I take it you're an easy woman to disappoint?" Vash nervously asks.

"Of course" Y/n leans back before drinking her whiskey I take it you've already heard of my 'Legendary Temper'" Y/n stares at him teasingly "I would have thought that would have chased you away~"

"Oh, please. A bit of a temper isn't gonna scare me away. That just means it'll be that much more satisfying once I win you over and calm you down." Vash smirks at her "...Besides, someone as beautiful as you could easily throw any tantrum and still leave me hooked. Do you think I can't handle it?"

"Now isn't that just sweet?" Y/n moves her shoulder, making her breast shift because of the movement.

Vash pulls back a little, trying to contain himself, but doesn't succeed "...Alright, you got me. I'll admit, you're absolutely stunning. I just can't control myself..." Vash began to blush deeply, his eyes roaming her body "...but I think I have the right kind of...stamina, don't you?" Leans closer again

"Oh? And to what are you referring to? Mr. Stampede?" Y/n teases as she also leans closer, her breast showing her cleavage, she knows what she's doing.

He bites his lip at the little show she's giving him "W-well...I'm more of an action man myself." he added as his eyes continue to travel across her body "...I enjoy a good fight...I think a fight between the two of us would be quite exhilarating." His gaze returns to her eyes "...D-do you think you could k-keep up with me?" Vash challenges weakly, still a stuttering mess to her.

"Oh?" Y/n fake frowns as she runs her hands on her body "You're willing to bruise lil' ol me?" Y/n pouts at Vash in fake sadness.

Vash smirks "Oh yeah, baby...Mark you up and claim you as mine- I-i mean, I'd want to go all out against you..." He gets a little closer, their noses almost touching "I promise to make it a good fight." He looks her up and down again "...I just can't resist a beautiful woman...especially when she's got the power to back it up." Vash commented, smiling at her "...Can I...kiss you?"

Y/n leans up at Vash, acting as if she's going for a kiss before stopping his awaiting lips with a finger "Apologize, Mr. Stampede, but I don't offer freebies to any man I just met~" Y/n teases, smiling up at the tall blonde.

He blushes when she stops his lips with a finger "Aww c'mon, don't tease me like that!" He gives a pout "...I wanted a kiss..." Before smiling and laughing for a second "Alright fine...I'll keep pursuing you until you give me enough respect to let me kiss you." He smiles mischievously "...And the more I chase you, the more you'll enjoy the pursuit, huh?"

"You are Vash the Stampede, after all, a man with a peculiar set of skills, You just have to impress me with those kinds of skills" Y/n points out, smiling at him.

He raises an eyebrow "Impress you with a demonstration of my skills, you say? Alright, sure. What kind of skills do you wanna see?" He seems curious "...You want to test my skills of violence? Of kindness? Of wisdom?" He chuckles and smiles again "...Or would you like to see a little bit of everything?"

"If it'll romance me into liking you, I don't see why not?~"

"...Sounds like fun. Well, what do you wanna see first?" Vash asks as his eyes travel over her body, clearly taking in her beauty "...What's the first skill I should show you?" he wiggles his eyebrows at her "The choice is all yours, darlin'. Just name it and I'll show you what I can do."

"Surprise me~" Y/n flirts as she leans onto the bar counter, smiling at him teasingly.

Vash chuckles and moves closer "That's easy enough to do." He wraps an arm around her waist and gets so close he's almost whispering in her ear "...How about this..." He gives her a kiss on the cheek "...Does that satisfy ya? Or are you wanting something a bit more...intimate than just that?" Vash challenges as he smirks and winks at her.

Y/n looks shocked as she touched her cheek "You should count yourself lucky, Mr. Stampede~" Y/n teases as she glances up at him "No man has ever survived wrapped their arms around me, let alone kiss me on the cheek, but note this, that's the very first time that ever happened"

Vash chuckles deeply "Oh is that right? Well then, I'm more than willing to take that as a challenge." He smirks, leaning up to her "...That's not even 1% of my charm, sweet thing. I'm just getting started with you." He leans in again and looks at her with a sly smile "...How about another kiss...but on a different pair of lips?"

Y/n lifted the corner of her lips with her eyes closed, as she once again covered Vash's mouth "Let me repeat it, Mr. Stampede, I don't offer freebies to any man I just met"

He blushes deeply "...Are you just gonna tease me all night? Well, now I gotta keep chasing you until you let me kiss you...don't I?" he raises an eyebrow again"...Guess I better keep showing off my skills in order to impress you, huh?"

"Show the right ones, get to know each other, and you get the girl" Y/n points out, smirking up at him

He nods, grinning "...You've got a bet," Vash agrees "...Well then. I suppose we'll be spending some time together trying to see if I can impress you, huh?" He chuckles and smirks again "...You seem like an interesting woman, but I guess I'll just have to work my way through your barriers. Is there anything you wanna know specifically? Or do you wanna just keep watching me in action?"

"I'd like to see you as is, it makes the whole thing more authentic" Y/n smirks as Vash suddenly pulls her closer to him, surprising her.

He pulls her closer, his face less than an inch away from hers "...Well, I'm a bit of a flirt...Is this close enough for you?" He smiles and laughs "If you want me to get even closer, I think that can be arranged." He starts to lean in closer

Y/n chuckles as she pushes his lips away with a finger "Do I have to repeat myself? Mr. Stampede?"

"Oh? Are we...playing a little hard to get?" Vash chuckles once more "Alright...I don't mind a bit of the chase. You're just too stunning to resist...It's gonna be hard to keep my hands and lips off you, though. You don't mind if I get...close enough to keep flirting with you...do you?" Vash asked, trying to push his luck.

"As long as there isn't kissing yet" Y/n leans up to whisper in his ear "Those are my rewards~"

He bites his lip a little "Just a kiss?" He gets a little closer and whispers into her ear "...I mean I think I'd want at least a bit more." His breath hits her ear, and a little sigh comes from him as he leans back up "...But I promise we'll get there." He smiles and looks into her eyes "...I'll keep chasing, alright? I'll keep flirting with you. Let me know when you're ready to give me...a little reward."

"show me reasons why you deserve these awards then~" Y/n whisper back before pulling away from Vash's arms, giggling.

Makes a big smile "...Alright you've got a deal. I'll show you why I'm worth the attention...But how do I start? I'll do any one thing you ask of me, any skill you want me to show. Where should we begin?" he grins, seeming eager to impress,

"How about I set a reward system?"

This caught his attention "...A reward system? Sounds intriguing...alright, I'm on board...So if I do what you want, I get to earn my rewards. What kind of tasks are you gonna set for me?... How many points must I earn? And what would each task be worth?"

"Well, it depends on how impressed I am, if you mildly impress me by giving me a gift, I'll give you a hug, impress me a bit more mildly, like take me on a date, then you get a kiss on the cheek, impress me a bit more you get a kiss, impress me, like saving me from harm, and you get a make-out session, and if you extremely impress me, like save the City of Febrari impress..." Y/n leans up his ear "you get to fuck this pussy, as you said earlier, Mark me up and claim me as yours~" Y/n reveals, smiling teasingly at him.

Smirks as his breath hit her ear "Well now...it sounds like you have high expectations for me. I suppose I should start off light and work my way up, huh?" He chuckles "So if I do something small, like...buy you a gift...that's how I can get a hug, right? ...What kind of gift would you want me to buy you? What do you like?"

"Surprise me, Mr. Stampede, guess what kind of gift a girl like me would like to have" Y/n stands up from the barstool and looks at Vash teasingly, "It's getting quite late, I say it's time for me to retire for the night~" turns to walk upstairs of the bar "Good luck, see you tomorrow Vash the Stampede~" Y/n waves goodbye, before completely disappearing.

Vash leans back onto the bar counter, panting at the encounter.

"Dear God...I need to marry that woman."

Present Time

Vash began to tear up, removing the kiss marks left by the two escorts earlier.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n...

Please, Forgive me."

(A/N: You can tell I have favorites? aww)

[deanwax]

Roast your OCs tag

Rules: Kill and also choose violence

@the-golden-comet my sweet summer child. My Darling. I have way more roastable OCs than Wyatt and Mary

Open tag

🔥🔥🔥finish them: Shins and Aure from Impressions of Aure 🔥🔥🔥

SHINS

Congratulations on being the dumbest most dramatic bitch alive. Listen bitch. The legs I understand, but how stupid do you have to be to pick a part of yourself to eat and you pick the motherfucking part of you that you use to taste?! Finest chefs in the world cooking your shit and you can't taste a damn thing. And don't even get me started on the miscommunications. Tell me, what does this spell? *Flips him the bird*. Just kidding. (Signs in ASL): GO FIND SOME MORE HOBBIES

AURE

I'd say I don't know what he's smiling about but this bitch hasn't smiled in 17 years. What, you need me to cut out a dude's eyes again? I could make a paper mache and ash effigy if you weren't such a pussy. If you were half the man you were as a child you'd be exactly as you are today. You're like if an albino gorilla went on Ozempic. I'm putting suction cups on your nubs and gloves so I can watch you crawl all over the ceiling like a gecko.

[somethingclevermahogony]

Rewrite Tag

Doing a few here! @illarian-rambling (x3), @mk-writes-stuff (x2), @roach-pizza , @willtheweaver , and @theeccentricraven thank you for the tags! I think that was all of my Rewrite tags, woo!

Line 1 (Katie)

He traced one of the images with a finger; two gods debated furiously on twin mountain peaks. A mature woman with ears of gold, a winged lizard coiled around her feet, and a young girl holding a copper-furred hound by the scruff. Their faces were so similar, like a mother and daughter.

My Rewrite

He ran the tip of his finger around the edges of the image; two divine figures trapped in a heated debate each stood upon twin mountain peaks. An older woman, her ears made from gold, wrapped round her feet the form of winged lizard, and opposite her a young girl who held at bay a copper-colored hound by its scruff. Their faces were eerily similar, like those of a mother and a daughter.

Line 2 (Katie)

Suddenly, but gently, the memory of a great plaza trickled into Izjik’s mind, filled with hundreds of dancing people, their skin and hair shining with all the colors of Illaros. A vast, tile mosaic covered the floor and the dancing people followed its geometric lines. Above, the vaulted ceiling was painted with swirling, spiraling rays of sunlight and though the space was indoors, potted palms swayed with artificial wind.

My Rewrite

All at once, though not violently, the memory of the great plaza filled Izjik’s mind. There it was in her mind’s eye, the grand space filled with hundreds of people, their skins and hairs shining and glittering with every color that Illarian eyes had ever seen, they danced, twirled and spun. Their feet followed the paths laid out by the expansive mosaic of colored tile which covered the floor. High above on vaulted ceilings were painted swirling and spiraling rays of sunlight and though walls may have surrounded them, the fronds of potted plants swayed to an artificial breeze.

Line 3 ( Also Katie)

Izjik rubbed furiously at her eyes, trying desperately to get some modicum of moisture back in there. That fucker— that motherfucker hadn’t blinked even once for an entire godsdamned day! Nevermind the state of her poor feet, nevermind that she’d had to pick not one, not two, but twenty-three thorns out of her hands, but what type of infamously many-eyed being couldn’t remember to blink for the spirits’ sake!

My Rewrite

Izjik rubbed desperately at her eyes as she attempted to work up some small trace of moisture. They hadn't even blinked once, not even once over the course of an entire day. That fucker! That motherfucker! And that was not to mention the state of her feet, nor the fact that she had been forced to pluck twenty-three thorns from her hands. What sort of many-eyed being doesn't remember to blink for the spirit's sake? She thought bitterly to herself.

Line 4 (MK)

He had long, clumsily cut black hair and soft brown skin. He was awkwardly holding a massive bag of potatoes in one arm, with a cutting board tucked behind it, and a chef’s knife clumsily in the other fist. He stared about the kitchen and his grey eyes fell, squinting, on the stretch of countertop next to her.

My rewrite

His shaggy black hair was was haphazardly cut, his skin a soft brown. Held with some difficulty in one arm was a massive bag of potatoes, an old cutting board held in place behind it. Clumsily gripped in his other hand was a chef's knife. He stood there for a moment, his grey eyes squinted as they took in the countertop beside her.

Line 5 (Morgan (Roach-Pizza))

A man's tan hand swept across a giant chalkboard as he took the other one and pulled a joint out of his mouth. Smoke lazily poured from his lips as he placed the eraser back into position. His tired, hazed baby blues then scanned the desk where pastel colored papers were in an unorganized pile with an ashtray next to the mess.

My rewrite

The man swept his hand over the board, his tan skin dusted with chalk. With the other hand he pulled a joint from the corner of his mouth. Smoke poured from between his lips as he set the eraser back in its usual position. His blue eyes, glazed over with fatigue, inspected the desk upon which pastel colored sheets sat in a heap, an ashtray at the pile's edge.

Line 6 (willtheweaver)

The air had a musty quality to it. Not the smell of damp and decay, but of hundreds of years of history. This was a place of great families, of titles handed down through the generations. Etched into the walls were tales of love, sorrow, and death told throughout the centuries.

My Rewrite

The air had a musty smell, though not the stench of the damp, of mold and mildew, of decay. It was a smell which could only be produced by the passing of ages. In these ancient halls was recorded the lines of ancient families, of titles passed from generation to generation in unbroken chains. Carved into the stones were tales, their subjects long since rendered to distant memory and dust, songs and stories of love and sorrow, life and death.

Line 7 (MK)

“Lord Narcissus,” she said with a curtsy as she got close to him. “You’re looking lovely tonight.”

It wasn’t even a lie. He did look lovely. He had an elaborate red flowery hairpiece made out of real flowers, and he was wearing a tight red cocktail dress that, while definitely scandalous, did admittedly draw attention to his figure. Narcissus was a good-looking man – it was a shame that was his only virtue.

My Rewrite

"Lord Narcissus," she said as she approached. She stopped and curtsied, her head tilted respectfully. "You look lovely tonight."

It was true, he was a good-looking man. His hair was pulled back by a crown of real flowers, the red cocktail dress he wore may have been tighter than polite company would have typically allowed, but it certainly did show off his figure in spectacular fashion. There was no denying that Narcissus was beautiful. Unfortunately, it was not a virtue which extended past the physical.

Line 8 (Raven)

Justin felt a ripple go up his spine that felt like a thousand knives stabbing him. He curved his back and cried as he felt a burning sensation reaching into every corner of his body. Deep inside his thighs, in his stomach, in his elbows, feet, chest, and knees, he could feel something eating inside him. It was like millions of worms crawling inside him and eating every inch of his body inside and out.

My Rewrite

Justin felt a sharp pang race up his spine. It was as if thousand of knives had been driven into his back. He curved his back and cried out in pain, as a searing agony spread across body. Deep in his thighs, stomachs, elbows, feet, chest, and knees, no part spared. He could feel something inside of him, wriggling, moving, feeding. It was if his very veins had been replaced with writhing and twisting worms, worms that conspired to eat him from the inside out.

Tagging some of y'all back @illarian-rambling , @mk-writes-stuff , @elsie-writes , @kaylinalexanderbooks , @writingamongther0ses , and @foragedbonesblog and whoever else is interested!

Your Line

The blood dripped into the awaiting bowl and painted its alabaster walls crimson. Narul watched it trickled down his arm, skirting past the hairs, rolling veins, and moles. Despite these twenty years of blood lettings, he could not shake a creeping feeling of unease as his eyes followed its creeping path down his arm. He gazed back at himself from the scarlet pool, he could not meet his own eye, could not stand to look that creature in the face. He turned away.

Also in other news, I finally made the cheesecake for my 200 follower celebration, I'll be posting about that tomorrow.

[blindrapture]

THURSDAY JUNE 28TH, 2011 (THE FOURTH RAKE OF THE APOCALYPSE)

6:49 AM I slept. Donnie wants to come with me to meet with Bill.

7:22 AM We’re at the pharmacy. Nobody’s here. We’ll wait it out.

8:05 AM Donnie doesn’t think anyone’s coming. I think she’s right. We’re heading back.

8:30 AM MOTHERUCKf BASH rfh WHATI oh my god eyes

1:56 PM in my bed oh god its eyes were like hell It was like I had a soul and it was staring into it. It was the Rake. It was a fourth Rake. I think I backed my head into the wall too fast.

1:59 PM Donnie’s in here now.

2:01 PM Fuck. Donnie says Bill’s dead. He was torn to shreds. The Rake got him. Fuck fuck fuck. Bill had some papers for me. I’m getting out of bed.

2:07 PM Oh god I haven’t thrown up in a while. That’s a lot of.. I mean, that looks nothing like Bill anymore. It’s all blood and torn flesh, scattered all over the room. What’s left of Bill is scattered all over the walls and floor and ceiling. ..the wall. THE WHITE JESTER IS NEXT djushgusdfigjfdg FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE WHY ARE YOU SUCH A DICK I HATE YOU YOU COCKSUCKING FUCKING PIECE OF DICK SHIT FUCK

5:49 PM The Rake wants to fuck with me, does he? Well, I’ll fucking give the fucker something to fucking fuck with. Tiger Stripes, we’ve got one more Rake to kill. Let’s do this. For Bill, for that Asian dude, and for all the people who the Rake has terrified and/or maimed. Now if only I knew where the fuck the Rake was.

7:23 PM Someone said they saw it outside. C’mon, Tiger Stripes. Batter up. I dunno. Let’s just do this. I’m putting my sunglasses on. It’s nearly half-past, and I’m putting my sunglasses on. I want the Rake to know I’m not fucking around.

7:32 PM On second thought, maybe wearing sunglasses at night isn’t the best way to convey the message “I don’t fuck around.” Fuck it, taking ‘em off.

7:34 PM SAW THE FUCKER Where you running off to?

7:37 PM WAIT ..fffffffff This didn’t go the way I had planned. How am I gonna break the news to them?

8:05 PM I told ‘em it straight-out. The Rake ran into the Exodus. Now we have a bit of a panic on our hands.

9:45 PM We had a meeting and a headcount. To sum it up, - There are twenty-five of us left. - The trip on the Exodus will take six days if we’re lucky. - There’s a goddamn Rake somewhere on the Exodus. - We have five members of the Exodus crew, plus two doctors. - We have one sick person. She wasn’t here for the meeting, but she was counted in the headcount. - We have six children, four of whom (including Donnie and I) are teenagers. - We have twelve adult passengers, including the innkeeper and the sick lady, as well as Richard and Meredith. - Worth noting: This is just us who have been headcounted. Not that I think we’ll find any legitimate stowaways, but you never know. So. Six days, twenty-five people, one boat, one Rake hiding away. Why do I get th

10:10 PM Motherfucker, this is insane. - We have twenty-four people. A young child, a kid named Jeremy, was just found with his head cleanly cut off. That’s the modus operandi of the Masked Massacrer. But Rake’s already killed Masky; he was Bill. Which was shocking, yes, but still.

10:15 PM So let me get this straight. Twenty-four people on the Exodus for six days straight. One of us might be the Masked Massacrer, or it might be a stowaway. There is also a Rake hiding away somewhere. Tiger Stripes, give me strength.

(Attached: “Ah, the sea, greatest mystery of the Earth. Older than the species that conceptualized Time, and we owe our past to her. Yet no one knows much about her depths, no one except Salmacis, and it has this tendency to not want to share her information with the rest of us. Salmacis is another odd case altogether, though I’ll have to prepare if I want to tell you about her. There’s a lot to say, and no easy way to say it.”)

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[disco-cola]

im gonna kms I already have nets in front of my windows that I control everyday (they’re intact) and spray lavender on my door treshold and put kitchen towels under it yet I still get spiders in my apartment ALL THE TIME and idk where those disgusting ass multilegged motherfuckers keep coming from i have the biggest phobia like y’all don’t understand but I was just lying on my bed chilling with my dog I look up behind her THERES THE BIGGEST FUCKING SPIDER CRAWLING OVER MY FUCKING PILLOWS! IN! MY! BED! I WAS IN BED TOO! My heart skips ten beats I jump up so high my head touches the ceiling I ran as fast as my legs would take me into the kitchen to get the vacuum cleaner (which is another bad thing bc I only have a tiny hand vacuum cleaner meaning even if I vacuum them up they’re still alive in there and we meet again when I have to empty it out which is practically daily bc of dog hair) anyway I get back ITS FUCKING GONE idk how I am ever supposed to sleep again I wanna burn my house down like spiders on the floor is one thing I usually just spray chlorine on them until they drown like I’m sorry my phobia is too big I can’t catch them and go downstairs and take them outside I can’t even look at them without crying and then I put on gloves and take a million paper towels and flush them down the toilet (ah yes the perils of living by oneself) but I obviously can’t drown them WHEN THEYRE IN MY BED like THIS IS HONESTLY THE LAST STRAW!!! Who the FUCK do they think they are coming into my bed acting like they’re paying rent??? I’m freaking out so much I wanna set my bed on fire i just changed the sheets too it was so nice and fresh and now it’s all disgusting again