#the outline for the last 3 chapters is almost on track

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

When you write 2k words in a sitting, and suddenly there's a chapter that wasn't there in the morning. Is there anything more beautiful?

[cerealmonster15]

I think the third ch of my kalisil/jamiazu story is gonna be longer than the other chapters and that’s not necessarily for good reason lol 😭☠️🚶

[infamous-if]

November Update

Happy November and happy holidays! I suck at updates mostly because I never know what to update but yk maybe there are people who appreciate it so I at least like to make it a monthly thing lol

Part II for sure should be coming out this month. I know it's annoying that I keep saying it will and then it doesn't because I feel like there's more I should write but lol it's definitely coming this month. If it doesn't I give you permission to yell at me lol It'll come out to the paid tiers first and then publicly and I can finally move on to rewriting. Chapter 2 is looking to be 130k + words which is about 45k. Not as much as Part I but hefty enough (to me) since there's a lot that happens in that 45k. Decisions...decisions...

Rewriting! Yay! As always, I'm open to suggestions up until I'm done with the 'rewrite' which is less a rewrite and more a polishing. I'm fixing all the errors, I'm improving the prose, adding some scenes I wish I added before, and setting the stage for the rest of the story. There's a lot of background maintenance I have to do and now that the story starts to seriously track the variables starting from Chapter 3, I want to fix everything I have now and never look at it again.

As with every month on Patreon, I'll be doing more POVs, flashbacks and more. I think I'll start November off with a Seven POV I wanted to write and go from there. I wanted to do a spooky one for October but Part 2 took up a lot of my time </3 Maybe I'll still do it.

This is almost exactly what I said in October so it's a non update lmao sorry sorry but I'll have more to say once Part 2 is out :,)

TLDR my plans for Nov:

Release Part II

Start rewriting

Start the chapter outline for Chapter 3

Patreon stuff

Story word count as of writing this:

178k from last update -> 221k (221, 336) words

[celeluwhenfics]

hihi I don’t know if you’ve ever talked about this before and I missed it but here are a few things for you to rant more on pHORSEsuasion as there cannot be too much of it for us to delight.

How was the story and character of Rowena born? Like, if you could remember and retell, the moment you first realised to yourself that you would be writing her in the fashion of Austen? Was it a very long journey that slowly took shape, or an idea that hit you square on the head?

Is there a set time and location you have to write the fic out? Anything from real life that inspires you and you take inspiration from? I think I remember you loving horses (in a club?) and that sparked the love for Rohan? …or is it an anecdote of one of the many Rohan buddies on tumblr….😭

Is there a playlist, specifically, you’d have for the story?? A pinterest board perhaps? 👀 anything about pHORSEsuasion please

On a scale of 1-5 how much would you say the ideas and thoughts relating to the fic occupy your mind throughout the day?

thank you in advance if you ever get around to answering and talking more about this beautiful fic <333 i also read the short about “the creek game” which is utterly amazing.

don’t you worry overmuch about taking your time to work your best on the chapters! even in these intervals your nice story occupies my mind frequently just to think of Bréda

Hi! Thank you so much for your ask! It makes me happy and giddy that someone is still thinking of pHORSE (and dear Bréda! ❤️) even as chapter 2 is taking a long, long time to come out. I've been hard at work on it. It is coming SOON!

It's exactly as you say: the idea hit me square in the head. I hadn't interacted with LotR in a decade, didn't know AO3 or fandom communities existed. I watched the movies with my partner one weekend, and as I tried to fall asleep that Sunday night, the idea of Éomer as Captain Wentworth sprang all formed in my head. And when that horrible pun found me as well, I knew I was onto something. 😅 The next day I wrote the outline, and in its broad lines it hasn't changed since, it only got more refined and detailed as I reacquainted myself with canon!

I am a horse girl! But I don't ride anymore for various reasons. Not much of the story is related to my real life, although every natural landscape, historical tidbit or little everyday situation can inspire me. (Oh yeah and I almost forgot to mention, but last month I went to Bath to see the original setting of Persuasion for myself...) I mostly write at home on the weekends, but I also have written LOTS of thoughts and ideas on the Notes app on my phone, either on the bus, at work, on runs... I've also been known to stop in my tracks in a grocery aisle or step off my bike to note down an idea or a line of dialogue!

I always write in complete silence (and I don't have pinterest), but in a past life I studied musicology with a speciality in early music, therefore YES, there will be some very specific musical references, which I will share on this blog of course! I've done a post on the two songs mentioned in chapter 1. There won't be any music in chapters 2 and 3, as it's a very bleak time in the story and silence takes a lot of room, so to say. (But I have a Borodred one-shot WIP that I don't know how to wrap up, that is very musical, you might see it one day!)

*nervous laughter* I would say it varies between 2 and 5. It's been months, and every day it's somewhere in my mind. Which is not always convenient, because I have a PhD to do!!! And at some point since my brain wanted to think about it 12 hours a day no matter what, I lost a lot of sleep over it. I had to find a better balance, because sleep is important, and once again, I have a PhD to do, on a subject I'm very passionate about!!! But, yeah, if I could write all day every day and churn out chapter after chapter for my lovely readers, I would!

Thank you SO MUCH for your ask, I'm always super excited to talk about pHORSE! Even if there has been no recent update, the project is very much alive, I'm working tirelessly on it and thinking about it all the time. Don't hesitate if you have more questions! And stay tuned!!! 👀

[breannasfluff]

Quick question, how do you write so much? I fight the words for an hour and have maybe 2 paragraphs of garbage but you pump out really nice work almost every day??? I have so many ideas but I can’t write them for love nor money

I write almost every day, or I take a break and switch it out for drawing. I generally can write a chapter in one go, so usually stock up some backlog to cover days I’m busy. Having multiple stories now means I don’t have that backlog of some, so updates are a bit slower.

As for writing tips:

1. Remove distractions. Shut discord, exit out of tumblr, mute your phone. When you are stuck, don’t go scroll social media. When writing, the only thing I touch the internet for is if I need to check a story item, like a character name, item history, etc. I cannot overstate how important this is. If you are talking to your friends, you won’t have a writing flow.

2. Do not edit as you write. Writing and editing are two different tasks. You switch between creative and critical thinking and it breaks flow. This is a scientific process and you can read more about it here.

Research electroencephalogram (EEG) suggests both heightened electrical brain wave activity and elevated dopamine levels during flow. In other words, your brain experiences both electrical and chemical changes when you’re “in the zone.”

But once you switch to self-editing mode, you move to the critical thinking side of your brain. You halt all of freewriting’s creative electrical impulses and pleasure-sensing dopamine levels. Your mind flips off one switch and turns on another.

3. Set a time, then be done. Give yourself 20 minutes and write as much as you can. Doesn’t matter if it’s garbage. You can edit garbage into something useful or you can chuck it in a bin. Just try to write, then take a break. Staring at a blank document for two hours isn’t going to make words appear and it just stressed out your brain.

4. Have an outline. Sometimes a magical idea just flows when you sit down to write, but generally not. Have an outline of what you want to have happen in your story or chapter. It doesn’t need to be in depth; for most of my oneshots I literally have a sentence or two at the top of the page. The story needs to have a goal. For example: Wild tries to teach Hyrule cooking. It doesn’t go well. Bouncing ideas off friends can be a big help! It’s why you’ve probably seen me post about prompts and suggestions, and sometimes stories are gifted to people. Talking through plot ideas can help you get a better outline or idea of action.

Misc notes:

Hate to say, but some of it is just practice. I’ve been actively writing for a little over a year with some breaks on and off. Making it a habit is a big thing for making it easy. It’s harder to restart after a break.

When I first started writing I tried to pick one aspect to improve for each story. Filter words, pacing, varying sentence starters, story arcs, etc. Fixing multiple things at once was too much work, but one item at a time was doable.

Filter words make such a huge difference in writing; I encourage you to look them up. It’s a PAIN to remove them in post, but it also taught me to cut them out. Now it’s unconscious and while some still show up, I tend to write them out automatically.

You can learn to write quickly, but if you don’t also work on quality you’ll just…write a lot. That said, it’s fanfic. Sometimes it’s just for fun and quality doesn’t matter. I’ve got plenty of stories that will never be posted because they are just for fun.

Some of it could be writing speed, too? I use a bot a lot of times for timing and tracking and generally average 30-35 words/min. Harder story topics are slower to write, like angst and emotional scenes.

I’m actually writing less this year than last, but I don’t put as much time into it. It also keeps it sustainable as a hobby, although I definitely hit periods of frustration. It can get overwhelming.

If you search my blog for the tag #writing advice or #writing tips, you should fine some other things as well.

This was rather frank, but hopefully helpful! Feel free to drop further questions and I’ll do my best to answer 💜

[dei-lab-assistant]

Nothing Builds a Friendship Like a Crisis (part 4)

Co-written with multifandoms27

Summary: Mokuba has been kidnapped as the two of you performed his monthly inspection of Kaiba Land. Reginald O'Malley, the president of rival gaming company Knightly Rook, is responsible for the kidnapping, and has challenged Kaiba to a tag duel in order to win back Mokuba. To your surprise, Kaiba asked you to be his partner for the duel, since Yugi was out of town. As you head to the rooftop helipad, you hope you're not getting in over your head. Dub canon plus a version of DSOD. Female Reader. Set maybe two years post DSOD. (This chapter does not contain playing the card game...) Fun fact: I always write my Reader character with personality and specific description. Each reader character also has a specific place in the Yu-Gi-Oh world, and is basically an OC with set connections and feelings about the various canon characters and other reader characters. This is reader B, who is immune to the siren song of romance, cheap, eccentric, logical, and hands-on. Word count: 1,647 You can read part 1 here. You can read part 2 here. You can read part 3 here. You stood inside the elevator which had roof access, feeling the floor press against your feet as you and Kaiba shot upwards. The doors slid open to reveal a helipad. Stepping out onto the roof, you squinted in the blinding summer sunlight as heat radiated up from underfoot and down from above. After ditching your hat, abandoning your sunglasses, and replacing your t-shirt with a fitted black shirt and a short white vest, you had run after Kaiba, barely catching the elevator in time. Now, staring at your shadow, you smiled at your silhouette; it was angular, with your capris falling to your midcalf, and the vest cutting off halfway down your torso, with a high collar and flaring out shoulders. It was a good image, a strong outline, and it sort of reminded you of something… Team Rocket. You groaned. 

Kaiba strode past you towards the helicopter, his hair ruffling in the wind created by the rotors. He moved without hesitation. This was your last chance to back out, but your mind discarded the suggestion. When you jumped into a project, you didn’t look back. This was no different. As the artificial wind and engine noise increased, you followed Kaiba inside the helicopter, feeling the sudden lack of blustering air as you pulled the door shut behind you. It was surprisingly quiet inside.   

You almost planted your face against the window during takeoff. For a few minutes, the excitement of being in a helicopter drowned out everything else. Settling down on the bench opposite Kaiba, you tried to focus on your deck and prepare for the upcoming duel. “You look nervous.” Kaiba commented. “I am nervous. We’re about to duel for your brother. What if I’m not up to the task? What if we lose?” You regretted sharing your worries as soon as you said them.

“I don’t lose.”

“Oh, we both know that’s not true.”

Kaiba scowled at you. “I don’t lose to two-bit schemers like O’Malley.”

Fair point. Kaiba was an excellent duelist, one of the best in the world. “I might. I’m a decent duelist, but my deck is hardly top notch, and—”

“You won’t hold me back. I’ll win on my own if I need to.” Kaiba’s voice was ice. His eyes softened a smidge. “But you’re a competent duel partner.”

Kaiba believed in your ability? You gave a faint smile, he wouldn’t have asked you otherwise. “I try.”

“You better.”

After a few minutes of silence, Kaiba spoke up again. “Let me see your deck.”

Switching to the bench Kaiba was sitting on, you pulled your deck out of your belt box and spread the cards between you. Working at a game shop brought advantages; you had managed to get some decent cards, and were using one of the new ‘archetypes.’ When you first found out about the Kozmo cards, you knew you wanted to try and build a deck with them. But even with an employee discount, and Yugi’s Grandpa helping track down cards, you had barely managed to build the simplest form of the deck. 

“Hm.” Kaiba grabbed his silver briefcase from the floor and opened it. His laptop was strapped into the lid, and the base of the case held thousands of dollars worth of cards. Your eyes widened. “Borrow a few for your deck.” It sounded more like an order than an offer.

“I can’t start swapping my cards right before a duel! It could mess up my strategies.” It was stupid, but you didn’t want to feel like you owed him anything.

Kaiba planted his fingers on a few of your cards and slid them across the bench towards you, “I’m offering you a chance to replace your weak staples with stronger options. Take it.”

“Fine, but I’m giving them back after we win. I don’t need your charity.” You took the briefcase from Kaiba and perused the contents. This would require thought. After selecting a few cards like Ice Dragon’s Prison and Pot of Greed, you showed Kaiba the chosen cards and slipped them into your deck. He nodded approvingly.   

Kaiba pulled out his own deck, rifling through the cards idly until he found one of his favorites. 

“Can I look at one of your Blue-Eyes?” You were surprised at your own audacity, but if you wanted Kaiba to treat you like an equal, you would need to act like one.

“Sure.” Extending two fingers, he held the card out.                    

Up till now, you had only held the ripped Blue-Eyes at the game shop. This one was beautiful. You could imagine its roar. Feel its presence. Holding the card was an honor—you felt like Kaiba had handed you part of his soul. 

“Do you know what that card represents?” Kaiba asked.  

“You?”

Kaiba almost smiled. “You spend too much time with Yugi.”

You realized your mistake. “Your power.” It wasn’t a guess anymore, you knew you were right.

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards for a moment, before seriousness won out again. 

You knew the card text without needing to look at it, “This legendary dragon is a powerful engine of destruction. Virtually invincible, very few have faced this awesome creature and lived to tell the tale.” 

“Listen,” Kaiba stared at you intently, “We’re about to step into enemy territory. You can’t show weakness or fear, because our adversaries will pounce on any opening you provide.”

You nodded. “I’ll try, but I don’t feel overly confident right now.”

“Your feelings don’t matter.” Kaiba slammed his deck down on the bench between you. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” It was the truth.

“Then remember my power is behind you now, and act like it.”  

“Kaiba…” You saw no deception in his eyes, only trust, and determination. “Thank you.” You handed back his card, realizing he was letting you into his world because he wanted you at his side. Taking a deep breath, you asked, “How long until we arrive?”

“Less than an hour.”

You leaned back against the wall, which vibrated as the copter beelined for your destination. Closing your eyes, running over everything your deck could do, you tried to focus, until the events of the day caught up to you, and you dozed off. Some time later, your head jerked up as your eyes flew open. It was too quiet. The helicopter had landed on another roof, this one in rolling mountains, surrounded by forests. Standing near the front, Kaiba held a muttered conversation with the pilot. You stretched and rubbed your neck. “This is our destination?” Outside the helicopter, men in suits and sunglasses gathered—a security team. Closing your eyes, you rolled them to slightly reposition your contacts; it was almost time for action.

Kaiba strode to the door. “Remember what I told you.” 

You cracked your knuckles, nodding. “Let’s do this.” Nerves settled themselves; playing a game was easier than waiting for it to begin.

Throwing open the door, Kaiba jumped down. Inhaling deeply, you drew yourself up to your full height; you had always been comfortable with yourself—it was time to stop worrying about manners and act more like Kaiba. You grinned, casually stepping out the doorway and landing beside him. It was cooler here than in Domino City, the air filled with the buzz of cicadas and birdsong.

“What are you doing here?”

Hearing the quiet murmur, you turned to Bishop, who shifted slightly under your gaze. “Surprised to see me?”

“I went to considerable expense to keep you out of this mess, Ms. l/n.”

“Why’s that?” You asked, remembering Kaiba’s words about the high cost of the drugs in your slushy.

“I didn’t want to see a naive little girl get caught up in this game.”

“I’m four years older than Kaiba.” You weren’t angry, you had always looked younger than your age, and you certainly lacked experience in these high stakes games. “But I appreciate your concern.”

“Your boss is using you.” “Hnh.” Kaiba crossed his arms. “I like being useful. Besides,” you slid your hands into your pockets and leaned back against the helicopter, “I make my own choices, Bishop.”

“Suit yourself. But I wash my hands of your fate.”

Before you could reply, the nearby elevator entrance dinged. As the doors slid apart, Mr. O’Malley strolled out before they finished opening. He grinned. “Ah, Mr. Kaiba, I’m so glad you could join us!” The security men parted to allow their employer through. “And you’ve brought a woman with you. I’m impressed. Perhaps even the intolerable Seto Kaiba can attract a pretty face.”

“Don’t waste my time with your ludicrous assumptions, O’Malley.”

“Darling, the girl is obviously a gold digger.” From the elevator emerged a woman with bottle blond hair and flashy jewelry, her makeup and clothes trying desperately to hide her status as a middle aged woman in her forties. She wore a sleek black dress with brown fur accents perfectly matching O’Malley’s tie. 

“Allow me to introduce the missus.” Holding out a hand to his wife, who took it with a regal air, O’Malley presented her as though royalty. “My dear queen Sasha—bright as fireworks in a summer sky, ambitious as Caesar, and lovely as the Ring of Kerry.”

“Am I supposed to be impressed?”

“Now now, Mr. Kaiba, no need to be rude. I’m sure your own queen has many lovely qualities as well. While her devotion to the white king shows a certain lack of wisdom, I’m sure she possesses other charms.”

He was still using chess metaphors, you noted. 

“Get to the point, O’Malley, we’re here for Mokuba.” 

“Ah yes, your poor little brother. The lad’s been quite adamant you would come for him.”

“Where’s Mokuba?” Kaiba’s tone dropped lower, bristling with hostility. 

“I’m not a cruel man. I shan't keep such devoted brothers apart for long.” Turning gracefully, O’Malley looked back over his shoulder at them. “Please, follow me.”

[aizawife]

Caught in Your Web

Requested: Getting together with Mirko.

Summary: Everyone knew Redback, barely anyone saw Kenji ��� except for Mirko, who saw the spider, its web, and its prey.

Word Count: 4622

Prompt Notes: Mirko x Spider-Man OC! Specific to the OC, written with a male reader in mind.

Author Notes: Good Lord, it has been a while! Sorry for taking so long with new content — I’ve had a lot on my plate the past few years with graduating uni (yay!) and moving on to med school. Even through it all, I never forgot about my love for both anime and writing, so here we are! Now, about this request…y’all. Huge shoutout to this requester !! This was not supposed to end up as long as it is (seriously, if you think you know how long this is, you really don't), but after talking to them about their OC and learning the backstory, I fell in love with them and ended up pouring so much into this. This is like a chapter worth of content, but I’m happy and so grateful I got to help deepen this character. I hope you all enjoy it (and share your OCs so I can write for them >.<); I'll be uploading some other stuff I wrote from before I went MIA soon, so look out for it! Welcome back <3

••●───── 🕸️⋅🕷⋅🕸️ ─────●••

“Wow, fourth one this week, huh?”

“Nah, that’s his sixth; keep up, man!”

It was a typical Thursday — well, as typical as it could be for anyone living in the Age of Heroes. As per usual, most people’s workday lunch break had now become a free all-inclusive ticket to a Spartan brawl between some Hero and any of the handful of villains propagated by the emergence of quirks. Today, the competitors in the ring happened to be two people of contrasting appearance: one small and fast, barely visible with both traits combined, while the other was almost comically large and consequently looking to be moving in slow motion with every movement.

Due to the fact that heroes and villains were always engaged in combat, it was ingrained in daily life, so most people just kept going about their usual routines. Regardless, any disturbance was disturbance, and onlookers gathered, a mixture of ordinary people and reporters vying to be the first with the exclusive story. 

The crowd watched as the swift Hero struck the hefty villain with pinpoint strikes as he dashed around at breakneck speed. Excited comments and whispers spread throughout the group of people as they watched the two fight, all curious to see who would win the epic battle between David and Goliath. But although the majority of competitors would have had serious expressions on their faces as they plotted their attacks and tried to read their opponents, the figure who was darting around appeared to be grinning broadly. With his smile, and the numerous taunts that erupted from his mouth, the sizable crowd observing became certain that it was the Vigilante Hero known as Redback.

“He’s really fighting to keep his No. 7 spot on the Hero list, isn’t he? Six villains in one week, that’s crazy.”

At the end of the block, the onlookers stared fixedly at the big brown behemoth as it feverishly swiped at itself. Redback moved so quickly around it that it seemed as though he was floating in the air, and with every dart around the enormous figure, his webbed cape flew around him. He sported a deep blue-tinted custom made suit that alternated between crimson and black. His calling card was a giant red spider insignia on his chest, which both villains and civilians recognized as a sign that justice was about to be served.

"Hasn't your mother ever told you to wipe your feet at the door? Look!" Redback delivered a straight punch to Dirt's face, tripping him backwards over his own two feet. With the Hero’s brutal strike, masses of dirt flew off of his body. "You're tracking dirt all over the place!" 

The audience watched as the brown giant staggered through the street, still trying to recover from the last hit. Now that it was closer, it was more visibly the plain outline of a man covered in crumbling earthy dirt. It grumbled as its big feet slapped the ground, launching specs of dirt into the air with each stride. 

Despite finding enjoyment in his battle just seconds before, panic swept across the audience as he looked to be approaching them. One of the commentators grew nervous and turned to his friend. "Dude…"

His friend instantly smacked his shoulder and raised a finger to his lips. "Shh! Don't make a sound!"

Thus, the two guys, as well as the rest of the crowd, stood there, one man quivering with fear and the other paralyzed with shock, watching as a gigantic brown foot kept stomping down the street. As the dirt monster came closer down the block, their bodies trembled from the sheer weight of his feet colliding with the earth, causing thundering steps to bounce around and ricochet off their bones. All they could do was watch as their fate approached, knowing that civilians were in no position to take on such villains, whether they had Quirks or not.

Suddenly, they heard something whizzing over them. Their eyes tried to track the shadowy figure that moved above them, but it was futile; his four limbs possessed the strength, dexterity, and speed of eight. But as they looked back down the street, they noticed a shimmering pattern. There were dozens of thin, tiny, glittering strings in front of them, and where they met, they resembled raindrops frozen in place, twinkling as though someone had taken each droplet and glued it so that the sun could dance across them. 

Upon completing his web-making and landing out of sight, Redback watched as the dirt creature charged up the street and stumbled right into the crystalline net in front of him, almost breaking through the wall of webbing. However, as expected, the strong webs simply absorbed Dirt's pressing force and pushed it back into him, causing him to become entangled and collapse, all nearby objects within a twenty-foot zone shaking as he crashed to the ground.

“Arghh!” He cried out, grumbling following suit as he struggled to get up. But before he could get off his knee, Redback descended from above and landed on his back.

In a swift motion, Redback lifted Dirt’s right arm in the air. He whiffed the air before saying, “You need a shower, dude — bad.” Then, he pushed the arm towards the left side of his torso while throwing his own body weight in the same direction. From a mix between the motion and Redback’s sheer strength alone, Dirt flipped over entirely, causing his chest to be exposed. Redback pinned him to the ground effortlessly, his knee pressing into Dirt's chest as he still struggled to break free from the webs. "Looks like I've got you right where I want you," Redback taunted with a smirk. 

He swung his head down towards Dirt's chest in an instant, releasing his chelicerae from his jaw. His fangs emerged from the basal section and swung out at their prey. He was aware that the feeling of them piercing his victim's skin would be no more agonizing than that of two tiny needles; but these tiny needles weren't entirely harmless, as they could easily pierce the skin before pumping neurotoxin out of their poison ducts.

As soon as they did, Dirt released a deep groan before attempting to pull Redback off of him, but his attempt was simply that - an attempt. His arm reached up, but soon went limp and fell back down with a thud. Dirt winced as the venom seeped further into his bloodstream, causing his muscles to weaken and his vision to blur before fading to black. 

Redback leaned in close, muttering, "You should've known better than to challenge me."

He leaned back with a triumphant grin, watching as Dirt's body went still. Once he got confirmation that paralysis was taking over his body, he retracted his fangs and quickly pulled his mask back down over his mouth. He jumped down, landing right in front of the large group of spectators, with the majority of them sprinting forward, a combination of congrats and whispers of awe taking over them.

“Redback, you’re so cool!” 

“What a hero.”

“Hey, Redback!” He glanced down at the youngster holding out a blue cap and permanent marker. The scar under his cheek and bruised knuckles stuck out to him. “Can you sign my hat?” Before he knew it, his observations had compelled him to fulfill the request.

“Sure, kid. Don’t lose it.” He grabbed the marker, scribbling his signature with a steady hand. Once he placed the hat back on the kid’s head, a recorder was thrust in his face.

“Redback, can you answer some questions for us?” The reporter's voice cut through the excited chatter of the crowd, drawing all attention to him.

Redback took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the questions that were about to come his way. ‘Interviewers…typical.’ It wasn't that he disliked them, they just all seemed to enjoy picking out bits and pieces from each response and spinning them into a mainly fictitious tale for profit, fame, and undeserved glory.

“We know about your dedication to restoring society’s order for not only civilians, but also Heroes and our judicial system. How do you plan on going about that? Was this villain a part of your efforts? How does he play into your mission?”

Just as he was about to answer, a loud pinging sound rang out. He traced the sounds down to his watch, where he noticed the alert:

[15:00 — XXX BUILDING]

He smiled as he was reminded of the meeting he scheduled – it was perfect timing. With a wave of his hand, he announced, “Sorry, folks, gotta run! Stay safe!”

“Wait!” He turned around to see another interviewer. “What about, um…him?”

He followed the gaze of the crowd to Dirt's limp body, then shrugged. Although he wasn't always confident that the police would carry out their duties to the best of their abilities—which was why he decided to administer justice himself—he was certain that their interests would coincide when it came to a minor threat such as Dirt. 

“The authorities are on their way.” At their concerned faces, he added over his shoulder, “Besides, he’s not going anywhere. Paralysis lasts for the next couple hours!” 

With that, he took off, a few strands of webbing ejecting from his hand and latching to the edge of a small building. He leaped up, the webbing propelling him upward and into the air, where he began gliding and swinging with his webs as if they were white vines in a jungle of skyscrapers. The city beneath him appeared to diminish as he soared higher, the wind roaring past his ears. 

His thoughts wandered as he swung between rooftops, hardly staying on one long enough before moving on to the next.

‘Redback…what a stupid name.’

When the name Redback was assigned to him, he didn’t reject it, as he didn’t expect to hear other people calling him it all the time. But, then again, he truthfully hadn’t expected to become the hero he was now known as. In fact, before he became known as the vigilante hero he was, he used to be the one causing the trouble. Petty crimes, but still, he used to wreak havoc more than he prevented it. 

He sat off the side of a building, his web supporting him as he ceased swinging. He was gazing at the sun sinking beyond the horizon, his webbed cape billowing in the breeze.

‘Kenji O’Hara.’

That was the name he was given at birth. Beyond that name held nothing. 

And then there was Redback.

Redback was the name he earned. The brutal man with nothing to lose and nothing holding him back. The man whose origins could be traced to the Underground Masquerade, an illicit fighting ring in a covert car park. The man whose Spider Quirk bestowed upon him such freakishly powerful abilities that most saw an opportunity for exploitation rather than allyship. The man who, in a foolish adolescent moment, branded a large symbol of a spider on his back—a mistake that, when exposed in the middle of a fight, gave rise to the grimly gallant fighter. This man's reputation preceded him wherever he went, striking fear into the hearts of his opponents.

Everyone knew Redback, barely anyone saw Kenji.

He took a few steps upon landing on the XXX Building before resting on the railing. From this vantage point, you could see the beauty of the city and catch a glimpse of the peace that comes from the hustle and bustle of city life. The idea that such tranquility could be found in the midst of such mayhem gave him comfort. Cars slickly skimming the streets, little specks strolling to the train station. There were no people, no heroes, and no villains from up here. It was simply a city, and everybody was one.

“O’Hara.”

Turning around, he saw her hallmark tall bunny ears. Their massive presence overshadowed her, bestowing upon her an air of innocence mixed with authority. Her grin sent the same message—it was kind yet commanding. As if he had never noticed it before, her skin caught his attention next. It was a delicate bronze that, in the sunset, seemed to have the hue of a highly prized and lovingly preserved gold coin. And, of course, this wasn’t his first time seeing her Hero costume, but the white sleeveless leotard that showed off her hauntingly impressive muscles never failed to entice him.

After a few seconds of observation and appreciation, he decided to return the favor of her casual greeting. “Usagiyama.”

“Don’t web your shorts looking,” Mirko joked as she sauntered over to him, her knee-length white hair swaying with each step. “But I am impressed – you’re on time.” She slid in the space next to him, her back against the railing as she faced the opposite direction. Her triceps flexed as she rested her elbows on it. “I thought you’d be late, especially after seeing your work.” At his raised brow, she added, “Dirt monster.”

He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. “Ohhh, dirt boy. Yeah,” he grinned, “I handled that. And don't worry; I'll always be on time for you.”

She rolled her eyes playfully, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Good to know," she replied, stretching her legs out in front of her as she grew more comfortable. "Just don't let that dirt guy slow you down next time." 

Kenji was acquainted with Mirko from prior Hero events. Being the fifth-ranked Hero, she was there for both award ceremonies and simple accolades; being No. 7 himself, he was also there, his unwavering attention fixed on the most attractive and self-assured lady in the room, perhaps one characteristic enhancing the other.

"Slow me down, eh? You think I can be slowed down?" As he carried on, she lightly exhaled and rolled her eyes. She knew what he was going to say next. "Or is that the fear of losing your rank to me talking?"

She snorted at his competitive spirit, unfazed by his attempt to intimidate and stir her up. "You've been saying you'll take my spot for weeks now; aren't you tired of your wishes not coming true?" At the wave of his hand, she leaned in close to him with a playful glint in her eye. "Actions speak louder than words, darling," she challenged.

"Which makes me curious as to why you have that No. 5 spot to begin with."

As they both hummed off their playful retorts, the conversation died down. Suddenly, it felt as if a chilly wind passed through, and Kenji awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. Despite sharing the same characteristics of a rabbit, a prey animal, Mirko seemed to have the abilities of a predator — she could sense fear. It worried him, asking about it, but if he didn’t, she would sense that there was something he was afraid to ask, and she would find out and press him about it anyway.

He took a long breath, bracing himself for the question that had been plaguing him; already, at the change in behavior, she raised her brow. "Did you, uh…did you get the flowers?"

Besides the wind whistling and the little noises from urban life, there was not a sound to be heard between the two. Mirko's piercing stare seemed to see right through Kenji, making him even more anxious as the question hung in the air, awaiting her response. 

He wasn’t quite sure what he was so nervous about – they had been on a couple of dates already. Kenji, who had lived his entire life fearlessly, had no trouble approaching Mirko at the aforementioned events, chatting her up and praising her on her successes before going in for the kill with a simple date proposal. In all honesty, he didn't expect her to arrive, but when she did, they hit it off just as well as before, and the rest was history. The first date had been cut short by a tiny gang of petty terrorists, but there seemed to be nothing better for Kenji and Mirko to connect over than kicking ass. Following that, dates continued amongst the usual turmoil that came with hero life, and they grew a foundationally sound friendship.

A Hero of Kenji's caliber was not familiar with the feeling of anxiety; however, he felt as though his heart would burst. That was, until she gave him a kind smile. She seemed to enjoy seeing him stress, even if just for a few minutes. "I did."

"Bold move sending a rabbit some flowers"—she turned to face him, a wider grin on her lips—"but that is what I like about you."

Kenji chuckled, relieved that she appreciated his gesture. “So, are you anywhere close to being ready yet?” He didn’t mean to rush her, but he knew she would correct him if she felt a boundary was being pushed. As ironic as it was, the only thing keeping them from taking the next step was the very thing that had brought them together in the first place.

"C'mon, O'Hara," she murmured, transferring her weight from one pawed foot to the next while looking straight ahead. "You know my rule."

“Right, the rule.”

She chuckled at his grimace, but it quickly got silent again as both Heroes fell into deep thought.

When Kenji first proposed that they become an official couple, Mirko froze. It was actually the only time he had ever seen her confidence waiver, and it was the first time she explained the rule.

‘No attachments, no hardcore relationships. Not while I’m a Hero.’

It was a good rule, except for the fact that anyone who knew Mirko knew that she would be a Hero until her body was physically incapable of fighting, and everyone knew that would be when she was dead.

When she first told Kenji about it, he didn't take it too hard. They had only gone out a few times in the past five months, so being the confident man he was, he didn't see much harm in continuing a casual relationship. When he was ready to get serious, he would eventually find someone who shared her beauty, personality, and sense of humor, at which point he would just move on.

That was what he told himself at first, until he ventured out into the dating scene and returned to the one butterfly among flies forever caught in his web. 

The pill he had to swallow at that point was not particularly difficult, but it was one he hadn't previously acknowledged as existing. Nobody shared Mirko's drive. Nobody possessed her energy, her spirit, and most importantly, her passion. She was the only Hero in the world who matched, if not exceeded the gratification he received from reading his opponent, delivering blow after blow, and emerging victorious. 

And, of course, the thing that attracted him most and kept him trapped in her web – no one matched her confidence.

The one recurring thread in most of Kenji’s failed dates was the one perception he had tried to get away from. The explanation given by almost every girl that walked away was that he was just too intimidating. Sometimes it was his appearance; to be fair, being a tall, well-built guy with a deathly aura designed to scare off any assailant didn’t come in handy all the time. Sometimes it was his jokes – most people were offended by them, while others simply couldn't match his sense of humor. But some had offered to divulge further, claiming that they sensed a wall up that they knew he would not allow them over. Whether it was his physical state or his mental one, among all complaints, he always seemed to be too much.

But for a girl who found the word ‘challenge’ simply did not exist in her vocabulary, as she had never encountered one, Kenji O’Hara’s walls were akin to stepping stones that forged a path to a person with deeper experiences and emotions than most normally have. Whether they saw it as beneficial or detrimental, both had grown up fighting and sparking up trouble, and Mirko, given her status, found it difficult to connect with anybody who understood her past and present behaviors. But when she told Kenji of her experiences, he did the one thing most failed to do – he listened. There was no excessive questioning or feedback, and although Mirko generally preferred people speaking their mind with confidence, she respected his undivided attention as his version of a bold statement. Despite his experience matching hers to a tee, having both come from the Underground Masquerade, the fact that the ‘intimidating’ Redback had the capacity for empathy and support was what stuck with her the most.

“I understand, take all the time you need.”

Unfortunately, that was where her problems started.

Behind the aura he had built up to protect himself, Kenji was a caring jokester with a confidence that seemed to inspire even the most insecure people. Even though it was naive to believe, he appeared to be without flaw. So, if she indulged and pursued a long-term relationship with him, she would do all in her power to assure that it was secure, all because of the man underneath that mask. This was the precise reason she was hesitant to start a relationship with him.

Throughout her life, Mirko always had to choose one or the other. Similarly, when she chose to be a Hero, she gave up all else. The battle and its outcome always came first; even if it meant her body, she would sacrifice it for the fight. Yes, that was the duty that came along with the title, but she had always been that way, even as a combative delinquent. So, upon her ultimate transformation into a Hero, she knew she had to establish a self-rule, something that would make sure she remembered the choice she had made for the rest of her life.

‘No attachments, no hardcore relationships. Not while I’m a Hero.’

If there ever happened to be anyone who managed to slink between the trees and brush and make their way to the clearing that was her heart, she knew she would eventually be forced into another choice. So with that rule in place, becoming a Hero was the last life-altering choice she would make.

“But didn’t you say you’d live every day like it was your last?” 

At O'Hara's question, her eyes widened. This wasn’t Kenji’s first time challenging her, but for some reason, this time threw her off. She slowly nodded, “I-I did. I do, but-”

His hand caught hers, fingers weaving with such delicacy that she almost didn’t believe that Redback and Kenji were the same man. The sincerity in his eyes spoke more to her than his words as he asked, “Then why stop now? Live everyday with me like it’s your last too.”

Thinking of such a possibility made her breath catch in her throat. Breaking her own rule and possibly jeopardizing her Hero career by pursuing something as selfish as a relationship sounded like a no-brainer to her. However, in regards to someone as special as Kenji...

She quickly caught herself, shaking off that small fear of diving in, and shook her hand free from his, taking a few steps back. “Woah, don’t tell me you’re getting all soft on me now, O’Hara.” 

Mirko sighed, his only answer to her jest being a stare. He was serious, and when Kenji was serious, he meant it. With her back to him, she crossed her arms and closed her eyes in thought. "I've already made my final choice. You know that I'm done picking between 'this' and 'that'; I can't have it be 'this', 'that', or you."

With this, she was confident that he would back down and accept her decision. She knew Kenji would be disappointed; hell, it disappointed her too, but she knew in any out-firming contest, she would be firm enough to keep him at bay.

But Kenji was fast approaching, dancing through her trees, heading straight for her clearing. 

"Make it 'this' and me, or 'that' and me, because that's all it'll ever be." And all of a sudden, Mirko discovered that he had overcome each obstacle designed to prevent him from breaking through her own barriers and reaching her heart, and was now standing in the center of her clearing. "I'm not going anywhere."

When she opened her eyes, he was standing in front of her. His face was so unbelievably close to hers, his masked nose resting against her own. "I don't care if it takes you eight days, eight years, or eight lifetimes. I will always be here." His unwavering commitment to her rendered her dumbfounded, and before she knew it, she had reached by his side, grabbing his hand with fingers as soft as rabbit paws.

“I just don’t want to mess things up,” she whispered. 

Kenji put his other arm around her waist protectively, softly pressing her against him in a moment of vulnerability he was certain he would never see from her again. Even though she wasn't in a physical altercation, being brazen or aggressive, he still cherished the transparency that came along with her confidence. It was just this—her shameless acceptance to vulnerability and her newfound openness to failure—that drew him in even more.

He moved his covered lips against her ear to whisper, “You’ll never lose your No. 5 spot.”

With those words, he promised, in his own unique way, that he would never be one of her options, and they stood there in silence as they both indulged in the newly discovered sense of belonging.

“Y’know, except for when I surpass you.” 

He was met with a hard push to his chest, sending him back a few steps. “What? Being No. 7 is getting boring,” he laughed.

Through her own smile, Mirko replied, “You’ll have to catch up to me first, O’Hara.”

They embraced again, Kenji clutching his new partner in justice. Gentle fingers grazed the ends of his mask as she reached up to raise it and reveal his lips. They locked eyes and drank in the intensity of the moment before leaning in, their lips—

Both of their heads whipped to the side as the sound of a loud explosion erupted, grey smoke emitting from an intersection a few blocks away.

“Ah, duty calls.” Glancing back down at her, Kenji's smile appeared to be permanently stuck as he realized he had finally caught the girl he had been chasing for months. “So, ‘this’ with me or ‘that’ with me?”

She looked to the side one more time before returning her gaze to Kenji. She loved being in his arms, and wouldn’t have minded letting another Hero take care of things, but Mirko had met her equal in experience and in valor, and she knew there was no one else she would want to fight beside. 

"‘That’ with you.”

"Alright, you're on!" Kenji raced away from her, leaping off the roof. The following second, she noticed him land on a nearby rooftop before flipping in the air to the next.

Mirko did not hesitate to take up the challenge. She immediately hopped over, already utilizing her Rabbit Quirk to narrow the gap and pass him. "See you there, loser!"

Although Kenji knew she’d push herself to leave him in the dust and get there first, he didn’t quite care to do the same. In fact, for once, this was a battle he didn’t mind losing. He looked over to her again, his eyes tracing her every movement as she raced between buildings and streets. 

For some reason, he felt as if he already won.

••●───── 🕸️⋅🕷⋅🕸️ ─────●••

[stergeon]

HOW TO PLAY

Last updated 5/3/2024

What is this?

This is a collaborative story about Hubert von Vestra from Fire Emblem: Three Houses. The goal of the game is to help Hubert have a perfectly normal day without too much excitement or fanfare.

The story progresses based on the results of the poll at the end of each chapter. The gameplay is intended to emulate old text-based adventure games (and, yes, Homestuck).

Mostly, this is an excuse for me to draw silly stuff and make stupid websites.

---

What do I do?

Be Hubert.

Vote for the action you want Hubert to take.

????

Profit

---

OK but seriously how do you play this?

I'll draw a panel and write a post. The end of the post will contain a poll or other question to decide where the story goes next.

You can help direct the story by:

Voting in the poll

Providing a custom response in the post tags or replies

Asking for clarification or details via ask or by replying to the post, ex. in the replies on this post

In each post, words that appear in BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS have definitions in Hubert's JOURNAL. The first time a defined word appears in a post, it will link to the part in the journal where the definition appears. Any subsequent time the word appears in the post, it will only be BOLDED AND CAPITALIZED.

The post may also contain links to minigames I've made (ex. the coffee game) or to other pages on my website that are related to the game (ex. Hubert's inventory, aka his pocket). I don't intend to link to any other websites, but if I do end up linking to another site in the post, I'll give a heads up.

Depending on the choices made in the story, Hubert's mental state may be affected. You will want to keep that in mind when voting. Remember: YOU are Hubert. And you want to have a perfectly normal day.

---

How does voting work?

Options for Hubert to take will be listed in a poll at the end of each post. The poll duration will be one day. When the time has elapsed, Hubert will take the highest-voted action. I'll write/draw how it plays out, then post a new poll to choose the next action.

Polls will have a minimum of four options representing potential actions for Hubert to take. Three or more will be preset options, and the last will be an "Other/Write-In" option for a custom response.

---

How does the Other/Write-In/Something Else option work?

If you vote for Other in the poll, please provide the action you want Hubert to take by leaving a reply on the post or in the tags.

---

If the Other/Write-In/Something Else option wins, how will a response be selected?

I don't know yet! We'll find out together. Either I'll take the most common response, I'll pick one at random, or I'll just choose the one I think is funniest.

---

How will the story play out?

I have an outline for the story. To the best of my ability, I'm going to try and keep it on track, but I'm leaving most of it to the winds of chance. If things start to really get off-track, I may eliminate the write-in option and just give three preset choices, but here's hoping it doesn't come to that.

---

When does the game update?

The game will update after the current poll has expired and whenever I get around to drawing and writing the response. I'm making an attempt to turn things around in 24-48 hours after the poll ends, but who knows how long I'll keep that up.

Note that many of the pages for game mechanics, such as the JOURNAL and Mind Wasteland, are updated almost as often as new posts are made, depending on how the story plays out. You might want to keep an eye on those.

---

Something is broken/not working on one of the webpages.

UH-OH! That's not good!

If you run into any problems with the site(s), please refresh the page and, if it's still not working, check back in 5-10 minutes. I'm coding this like a lazy person (read: rawdogging it without version control—yeehaw!) so it's entirely possible that if something is busted, it's because I'm actively tinkering with the site.

If it stays busted for more than 5-10 minutes, or if you run into responsiveness or accessibility issues, please shoot me a DM or an ask and I'll try to get it fixed shortly. Your help is appreciated!

---

I have a question about the current poll options/a game mechanic.

Send me your question via a reply on the post or an ask and I'll get you an answer :0)

---

STORY DETAILS

What knowledge do I need going into this game?

The game is set just over two years after the end of Fire Emblem: Three House’s Crimson Flower route. Consider that route utterly spoiled.

There may be references to events that have happened in my post-war fanfic series, In the Days After. However, you don't need to have read the series to know what's going on in the game. Hubert will also keep notes on anything that is relevant in his journal and you can reference the information there.

(FYI: the journal, minigames, and related tools are not hosted on tumblr and are instead on my own website for formatting/organization purposes. I'll give a heads up if linking to any pages not on this blog or my own website.)

---

Does this include DLC or FEW: Three Hopes content?

Sorry, I’m a fake fan. I haven’t played Three Hopes or the FE3H DLC and have a child’s knowledge of what happens in either of those games. I’m sticking with my area of expertise.

---

What ships appear in this game?

It's my story and I'm gonna make it gay. As of, uhhh, right now, these are the confirmed ships:

Hubert / Ferdinand

Edelgard / F!Byleth

Dorothea / Petra

---

RESOURCES

Links

Beginning of the story

All posts up to this point

Tools and mechanics

The tools listed below are updated almost every time a new post is made, depending on how the story progresses.

Hubert's Journal

To-Do List

Mind Wasteland

Pocket

Games

Games probably won't get updated again unless I get a sudden burst of inspiration or if there's a bug. If there's a bug, please let me know via ask or emailing me at stergeonGeneral@gmail.com.

Dress-up

Make a cup of coffee

[kitcattales]

Something There - Akaza x Fem! Reader Chapter 4: By Ceramic Teapots

Author's note: Chapter 6 is officially up on AO3 and my other cross-posting sites, so here's chapter 4 for ya'll! \nwn/ Hope you guys enjoy it! As always, warnings and related tags can be found in chapter 1 or you can check out a more thorough list of warnings and tags on AO3! <3 Thanks for making it this far and happy reading~! <3 God bless! <3

CHAPTER ONE, CHAPTER THREE

Cross-posts: AO3, FFN, Wattpad and Quotev

Word count: 15,412

Chapter 4: By Ceramic Teapots

The Mugen Train Station was crowded this evening.

The warm, golden glow of the station lights above were as they had been last: guiding and disorienting all at the same time. Busy people leading busy lives kept walking, coming and going, tickets in hand. Groups and couples walked leisurely along the platform towards their destinations while enjoying the quaint sights around them, as did many singles. Although, interwoven amongst the calm individuals, there certainly were some patrons hastily beelining through the crowds towards wherever their busy lives were taking them.

_______ could hear the chattering of the people, discussing things she couldn’t quite make out. Some seemed content, others happier, others more serious, but they were all in their own bubbles leading lives she’d never get to know about.

Looking down, she noted she was seated on the same metal bench she had been on the last time she was here. She could tell, because it was three seats down from the end of the station platform. She placed a hand on the empty seat beside her, thoughtfully rubbing her thumb against its metal surface. It felt cold to the touch, denying her the warmth she had hoped to find in the familiar spot and replacing it with something she was scared of becoming accustomed to.

Her eyes closed, wanting to block out the sight of the empty seat at her side. In its place, she listened to the crowds instead. Their chatter was so distinct to her, but at the same time, muffled. No matter how clearly she felt she could hear the people around her, she couldn’t make a single word out of whatever it was they were talking about; not about destinations nor loved ones waiting for them nor exciting adventures they were looking forward to. It almost felt like she was eavesdropping on the world from underwater, the voices of life above the surface muffled by crashing, deafening waves.

She didn’t know how she was meant to fight against the waves. It felt like there was an enormous glass pane on the surface of the water which blocked her path, keeping her trapped beneath the surf. No matter what she did to beat the glass pane, no matter how much she tried to scream beyond it, the whitecaps continued to pull her under and beckon her into silence.

At some point, she stopped trying to fight against it all. She didn’t care about the waves nor the surf nor the whitecaps. It all simply was, and she simply had to live with it.

The sound of the wind, however, never swept her by without gathering her attention.

It toyed with her hair, ruffling and braiding it playfully within its wispy fingers while it cooed for her companionship. It was hard to deny its call, so she caved in and chose to follow. Opening her eyes, she turned her head the direction in which the wind guided her. At first glance, the sight was the same as last time. Beyond the vacant tracks of the Mugen Train Station, the forest which outlined the progressive city stared back at her. She almost closed her eyes to it, almost rejected its very existence as muffled and gray as the people walking on the platform around her, but before her lashes fluttered, a familiar detail caught her eye.

Curiously, she leaned forward in her seat, her elbows resting on her knees for leverage. The wind picked up once more with her movements, and the wispy being began to dance and play with the leaves of the trees, their giggles carried out in the atmospheric night to greet her with longing.

The trees with which the wind danced were not the tall cypresses she knew of bordering the train station.

No, instead, the wind had embraced itself hand-in-hand with mighty cedars.

Cedars of the cedar woods she was well-acquainted with.

She drew in a slow, deep breath as she stared towards the dark, familiar forest and released it through her slightly parted lips. The way the tall cedars waved at her with their friendly yet mischievous branches called for her, wishing to have her join them and the wind in a cordial dance of reunion, but she didn’t move herself from her seat. Rather, she simply continued to watch, her eyes scanning the individual tree trunks lining the outskirts of the newly bordering forest.

Watching the woods caused for her chest both to ache and soothe. The vacancy of the train tracks between herself and the tree line ominously reminded her of what had happened or what was yet to come in this strange land she found herself in. The emptiness and the truth behind it caused those rusted strings within her to strum with vigor, just as they had done the night before, and it was nearly enough to make her curl into herself on the bench. The problem was, she didn’t want to allow herself to break down on the platform surrounded by so many people preoccupied in their own lives just as much as she was. She didn’t want the attention – nor did she want to be a disruption.

Instead, she clasped her hands together, fingers intertwined. She took in another deep breath, though this one painfully stung at her throat and lungs. Her heart felt like it was hammering into infinity within her chest, ringing in her ears, crying out for help. Her eyes burned with the threat of tears for what felt like the millionth time, but she forced herself to maintain her composure.

She had been crying far too much as of late.

She felt ashamed for it.

What right did she have to cry when she was still alive?

Denying herself the human right, she simply did everything within her to keep her thousand-yard stare on the cedar woods and off of the station platform.

She felt…afraid.

She was scared that, if she allowed herself to look back, if she allowed herself to properly look at the warm, gold lights and the hustle and bustle of the pedestrians passing her by, she would be forced to relive that moment again.

She already knew what would happen in this story.

She already knew how the hero’s journey would end.

She already knew the conclusions, the what ifs and everything in between.

She didn’t need to see it happen again. She was afraid to. Her entire being hurt so much already – it was excruciating, what she felt she was going through. The cords wrapped and wound so tightly around her heart strummed and orchestrated no matter how much she tried to stop them. The vibrations of their melancholic melody ached and pained her bones with their echo, forcing quakes within her she couldn’t control. If someone saw her, they might think she felt cold in the evening air, but that wasn’t it. At least, not in the way they thought.

The cedar woods, however, offered her comfort.

It hurt to look at them, because they reminded her of her journey through their depths and what had occurred within them. Yet…they also brought her a soothing sense of warmth. It was something she felt deep guilt for, finding comfort in the forest of demons thanks to the peculiar existence of the Third Upper Moon, but it was all she had right now to keep her as steady and contained as she could manage.

As long as she kept her eyes on the woods and her mind on the comfort Akaza allowed her to borrow, she wouldn’t have to relive anything. She wouldn’t have to remember memories she’d rather forget. She wouldn’t have to accept a reality she woke up hoping was a terrible nightmare each and every day.

She hated how much her chest hurt. She hated the feelings of immense pain and grief she constantly felt constricting her being, making it harder and harder to breathe with each day that passed her by. She didn’t want to feel any of it anymore. No matter how empty she thought she felt, the pain always returned one way or another, and it stuck to her like a curse. It leeched off of her life, consumed her in ways she couldn’t describe. It was a parasite morphing into her body, becoming her and turning her into it, pushing her further into a bed of questionable choices that never led to any proper solutions. If she allowed it to continue this way, she wouldn’t exist anymore. She nearly got to that end last night already. Somehow, someway, she needed to find a way to bury those feelings. She needed to dig that hole in the ground as deep as she could go, until she met with the molten core of the planet, and there, she needed to bury those feelings until they were lost forever and she felt nothing in their place.

That’s what she wanted most: to feel nothing.

As she struggled to stay afloat within those thoughts, she felt a large, strong hand come to rest upon her shoulder, an intense and comforting warmth instantly soaking into her being where it touched.

“You need to allow yourself to feel those emotions, young _______, no matter how much they might hurt right now.”

Rengoku’s voice softly remarked from behind her, causing for her hazed, pained eyes to widen. A knot in her stomach tightened as she felt him lovingly squeeze her shoulder, and a ripple effect followed in the form of a harsh quiver upon her person. A grimace of pain molded the look of emptiness away from her face as her rusted strings strummed ever louder within herself.

She knew it was him before he even spoke. By the touch of his hand and the warmth of his palm which radiated with nothing but love and comfort, she knew it was him – his voice only served to confirm what she already knew.

Still, she refused to look away from the cedar woods.

She was too scared to look. If she looked, it would be real. If she allowed herself the chance, she’d feel it all over again. She couldn’t do it. She didn’t have the strength to watch it happen again. So, she continued to keep the cedars company the same way the being within it kept her, her only reply to her dear mentor and friend being a pitiful whimper.

Rengoku clearly didn’t mind.

Rather, he simply chose to meet her where she was.

Though she refused to turn away from the woods, she could see him from the corner of her eye, walking around the bench and coming to take the empty seat beside her just like before. She was too scared to face him, but she could still see parts of his fiery mane of hair in her peripheral, gold and crimson, just like she held so dearly in her memories.

“Those emotions are a part of you,” He carried on. “You’re only hurting yourself by denying them. You’re denying a part of who you are, and in doing so, losing yourself in the process.”

“I don’t care if I’m losing myself…” She managed to murmur out to him, low and somber. “I don’t want to feel any of this anymore, Rengoku. I wish I couldn’t feel anything at all anymore…”

“You don’t really mean that.” He denied her claim, his tone tender yet strong. Supportive. “You know you don’t mean that. You and I both know you would never genuinely feel that way, deep down inside.”

“You’re wrong.”

She shook her head, watching as the cedars swayed and opened their arms towards her, calling for her to enter their embrace with whispered promises of better days.

“All I feel lately is this…intense, consuming, confusing mixture of pain, hurt, hate, anger, grief, shame, guilt, uselessness, helplessness and so many other things all jumbled up into one, and even then, I feel a drowning emptiness at the same time…I don’t want to feel any of it anymore, Kyo, I really don’t.” She referred to him by the nickname she used with him in the past, deciding that formalities between mentor and student didn’t matter anymore when he was, once again, minutes away from death. “I wish I couldn’t feel anything anymore, and I wish I felt indifferent towards life. I wish I didn’t care. I wish none of it mattered.”

“That’s not true, _______. You know it isn’t. You’re lost. That’s why you’re here again and still grasping to understand why. You’re lost and in a lot of pain, but I know you don’t mean that.” He continued to deny what she tried to say, never raising his voice nor becoming impatient with her.

“Please, face me. Don’t be afraid. I’m right here.”

Her eyes tightly closed, his request having vigorously thrummed at the strings which entangled her besieged heart. Her grimace deepened and a sharp, shaken breath left her as she forced herself to catch a pathetic sob in her throat.

She didn’t want to look at him. If she looked at him, the scene would progress forward, and she’d be forced to watch him leave again. She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to watch him board the Mugen Train and ride off to his death again. She knew that’s how this story would end, but she isn’t ready for it yet. So, she continued to reject his request, even blocking out the cedar woods now. Nevertheless, the mighty cedars never ceased their calls for her with their rustling in the wind, their leaves cooing out her name with promises of hiding her away from the painful reality she tried so hard to run from.

“Why don’t you want to look at me, _______?” Rengoku’s voice softly broke through the sound of the cedars. “Are you angry with me for leaving on the Mugen Train?”

“Of course not!”

Her eyes snapped open once more, desperately scanning over the miles of dark hidden beyond the cedars. Her denial of his question was automatic, refusing to give him any room at all to even consider the possibility he put on the table.

“How could I ever be mad at you for something like that? I know you were doing what you believed in, and I would never be angry with you for that. In fact, I’m proud of you for everything you’ve done and who you are.” Her eyes began to water, blurring her vision. Though trembles began to take her body once more, she was adamant on staying upright. She needed to keep her eyes on the comfortingly cooing forest to help her let the words out she had the chance to say.

“I’m so damn proud of you for who you are, Kyojuro. I’m proud of you for fighting as hard as you did, to the very bitter end, for the sake of protecting people weaker than you. I’m proud of you for watching over everyone you could and for being the person people needed even when you didn’t have anyone to be there for you in return. You became the person you always needed for those around you, for people like me. You lived and fought for what you believed in, and I couldn’t be prouder of you, and I’m just as proud to be able to call you my mentor and friend.”

“If that’s the case, then why won’t you look at me? What’s stopping you from facing me tonight?”

She remained silent for a moment, her gaze lifting to the sky and focusing on the full moon above. Her lower lip quivered again and it was starting to get harder to breathe normally through the tears which tried so hard to escape her.

She didn’t want to cry again.

She wanted to keep everything bottled up.

She wanted to bury it all and pretend everything is fine.

She wanted to pretend she was fine.

So, once again, she tried to take in a calming breath, but this one was so unstable, it forced her to fall against the backrest of the bench. This motion brought Rengoku’s view more into focus in the corner of her eye as she faced the forest again, trying with all her might to calm herself down.

“I-I’m scared, Kyo…” She finally whispered. “I’m scared of facing you just to watch you leave again…I know you have to do it; I know you have to go, b-but…I don’t want to. I don’t want to watch you go again…”

She knew none of what she did nor said mattered. She knew that, one way or another, all of this would end and he would board the Mugen Train once again. She knew nothing could change nor alter the course of history, but…she still wanted to stall him, still wanted to delay the arrival of the train. She knew, no matter how many times they sat on this bench, it would always arrive right on time. She knew, but still…

From the corner of her eye, she saw him begin to move. His hands came into view, obstructing her sights of the cedars as they came to rest upon her cheeks. The warmth his large palms enveloped her skin with caused her to let out a labored whimper, her eyes fluttering, fighting hard to keep her tears from falling as he guided her to look at him.

When her eyes met with his, all she saw was love and pride.

On his face, there was a soft and thoughtful smile, sincere in his emotions. Those fiery hues of his…they held that adamantly proud gaze she wondered if he still had for her. She could see the emotion clearly and vividly in his eyes, nothing masqueraded nor feigned. The waves and whitecaps within her nearly had her convinced that he would never look to her with pride ever again because of all the mistakes she’s made, because of how far she’s fallen, but as she gazed upon his expression, it was undeniable that all her thoughts on the matter had been false.

She supposed he…somehow really is still proud of her…

The realization caused her to sink into his open palms, one of her hands coming to rest on his as she pressed her cheeks against his hands. God, the feel of him, the warmth of him…Did he always feel this way? Was she really already forgetting the feel of his touch and the warmth of his palm…?

Despite her stubborn battle to keep her tears to herself, a couple of the solemn drops slipped down the curves of her cheeks and wet his skin, but he didn’t seem to mind. He simply rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs and softened his smile at her as he wiped her skin dry of those heartbroken drops of rain.

“It’s okay to feel afraid.” He assured with a gentle hush. “I know it’s scary and that’s okay, but I promise I’ll always be with you, _______, even if it isn’t in the way you’d like right now. One day, a very long time from now, we’ll be together again, but for now, I’ll accompany you wherever you go. I’ll always be there; I always have been. It’s okay to be afraid of the pain, but likewise, it’s okay to feel that pain as well. You deserve to work through it just as much as everyone else does, but you need to allow yourself to do so first.”

“I-I don’t want to, Kyo…”

She denied through her tears now, the droplets falling as they came. No matter how she tried, no matter what she did, they fell like rainwater upon her face, so she gave up on trying. Within Rengoku’s hold, wrapped up in his warmth, there was nothing on God’s green Earth that could hold her back.

“I h-hate feeling this way…It feels so loud and muffled in my head all at the same time, l-like I’m drowning underwater. It’s agonizing, how much everything hurts…I just want it all to stop, Kyo, I-I want it to stop…I never want to feel a damn thing again – even the crippling emptiness is better than feeling anything at all…”

“Oh, young _______...” Rengoku shook his head and softened his smile further, the look in his eyes heartbreakingly compassionate. “If you couldn’t feel anything at all, you wouldn’t get to know about what’s waiting on the other side of all those negative emotions. You wouldn’t know happiness, love, peace, care, joy, laughter and all the other wonderful emotions in between that come with the good in life and make it worth living through the bad.”

Tilting his head slightly to the side, he took a moment to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear before pulling his hands away from her cheeks. Despite how much it hurt to be in this moment, now that her eyes were on him, she couldn’t bear to look away. It hurt like hell to know how this story would end, but at least…at least one more time…she could watch him smile, could listen to him talk and could be with him, even if it certainly wasn’t in the way she wanted.

“The truth is, this painful grief that you’re going through right now only proves that you once knew happiness and love. You knew all of those wonderful emotions before – and you’ll know them again. I know it might feel as though the hurt hangs over you forever, but believe me when I tell you that one day soon, these feelings will come to pass. One day soon, you’re going to know peace again, and when that day comes, I look forward to seeing your genuine smile return to you.”

Something inside of her told her his words were true (after all, Rengoku would never lie to her), but it was so difficult to believe there would be a break in the storm within her mind. She knew he was right, that she used to be happy and she used to know these joyous emotions, but it felt so old now; did she really remember what those feelings were like to have? Can she properly remember what it felt like to genuinely, sincerely smile?

It hurt more than she thought it would to realize she couldn’t.

Suddenly, catching her completely off guard, a new pair of arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind, pulling her out of her own thoughts and into a strong embrace.

“Yeah, _______! Listen to what good ole Rengoku is telling you! If you couldn’t feel anything, you wouldn’t be able to remember our stories and how they made you feel back then! Wouldn’t that be a crying shame?”

_______ stiffened up something fierce in the arms of her new visitor. Her (eye color) eyes widened as far as they could go, staring into the joyously amused expression of her mentor as he watched the scene unfold before him.

Before she could react, a new hand found its place on her head, lovingly and teasingly ruffling up her hair until multiple strands were completely set astray. The gesture was playful with a hint of a tease, but it was undeniably filled with just as much love as the first visitor’s embrace was. They both radiated with a warmth she feared she would forget with the passage of time, and though she may still desperately cling to the memories of their touch, nothing compared to feeling the real thing.

“I couldn’t agree more. You can’t go forgetting us and the memories we share together so easily, _______. We’re a family, after all. We all carry these memories and feelings with us through thick and thin, and we’re going to hold you up to your end of it too.”

Her eyes met with Rengoku’s, the undeniable shock on her face asking without words if what was happening was what she thought it to be. When he gave her a single, thoughtful nod of the head, she sprung to her feet, pulling away from the arms and hands which held her to stare into the faces of the two men standing behind her.

“Keisuke…?! Botan…?!”

The two brothers chuckled and smiled in unison, Keisuke nodding in confirmation for her while Botan gave her a cheeky wink.

Keisuke – the oldest of the two – stood a couple inches over his younger brother. The smile he bore was warm and inviting, strong and reassuring – friendly, just as he had always been. His deep brown eyes never failed to bring the image of freshly brewed coffee accentuated by the delightful note of smooth chocolate to her mind, the warmth within those comforting hues almost identical to a morning brew. His lengthy tresses of deep black hair were gathered into the messy bun he always kept them in, a few strands blowing freely in the wind on either side of his face contrasting against his pale skin. His haori hugged his shoulders much the same way as Rengoku’s did, but his was as dark as night, a pattern of paper cranes flying upwards to the boundless sky adorning a majority of its fabric.

Botan, on the same branch as his brother, was as brilliantly bright as the sun was luminous. His grin stretched from ear-to-ear just as it always had, his pearly whites on full display as playful chuckles continued to escape his lips. His eyes, the same earthy coffee ground brown as Keisuke’s, were crescent-shaped from joy, the skin by them crinkling up exactly the same way she remembered they always did. In contrast to Keisuke, Botan’s hair was always cut short and messy. He always kept his wavy chestnut locks parted heavily to the right, and before her very eyes, she was witness to the way they almost cheekily cascaded down the right side of his face like waves of liquid mahogany. His haori he wore by the sleeves. It was deep cerulean in color, accented by various traditional images of golden clouds and dignified eastern dragons.

Around both of their necks, she noticed the necklaces bearing their family crest she remembered they always wore with great pride. The necklaces themselves were nearly identical down to the sturdy silver link chains and the matching kamon pendants displaying the intricate plum blossom of their lineage. The only difference between the two was the color of the gem linked above the kamon pendants themselves, Keisuke’s an ethereal jade and Botan’s a creamy pearl.

The two men looked…exactly as she remembered they did before their passings.

Bright.

Happy.

Loving.

Proud.

Beautiful.

_______ rushed towards her dear friends once she drank in the precious sight of the two, tossing herself at them with her arms wide open. When they were enveloped in her tight, desperate embrace at long last, she pulled them in as close to her as she was able and pressed her forehead against their shoulders once the trio was huddled together. When she felt their strong arms wrap around her just as tightly with the same amount of vigor as her, she began to sob openly into the wind while she took large handfuls of their haoris in her grasp to keep them from fading away.

“Keisuke, Botan, I-I’m so sorry…!”

Those were the first words she spoke.

“I-I am so, so s-sorry…! I tried to save both of you, I-I really did! I fought the demons off all night long t-to keep the two of you safe and to stop them from taking you away, but it wasn’t enough…! When everything was over, i-it was already too late a-and you just…! You were dead! I’m so, so very sorry…! I-I’m so sorry I let the two of you down the way I did!”

Keisuke brought his hand to rest on her head once more, stroking her hair to offer her comfort in the midst of her grief. Likewise, Botan brought his hands to rest on her back, running them up and down along her frame, warming her trembling figure with his comforting, protective presence.

“There’s nothing you need to be sorry about.” Keisuke assured, his lips pressing over the top of her head. “What happened wasn’t your fault. Botan and I know you did the best you could that night. You don’t need to apologize for something like that.”

“It was out of your control,” Botan murmured softly by her ear. “You didn’t know what was going to happen that night, and the decisions we made were our own. You have no blame in what happened. We chose, not you.”

She tugged desperately on their haoris, her mouth held agape as she cried aloud with no sense of control nor composure. Her tears, salty and unforgiving, were soaked by the fabric of their beautifully familiar coats. Each and every single drop of rain which fell from her eyes were elicited by the deep, loving sounds of their voices she had tried so hard no to forget; they were encouraged by the scent of them which always managed to take her to a different place and time in the universe. When she was in their arms, she felt as though they were seated by a peaceful waterfall, stories shared between them and laughter drifting in the breeze like the good old days.

With every ounce of her being and every bit of her will, she had desperately clung to the memory of them. She was so scared she would start forgetting. She was terrified to watch those memories slip from her fingertips, forced to watch them drift into the furthest depths of space where she’d never know nor hear of them again.

Despite her fears, they’re right here, proving her painful thoughts wrong.

Their voices, their scents, their embraces, their touch, their warmth; it was all right here.

She was cause for their death. It was her fault they were dead and gone, and she knew she didn’t deserve to fall apart in her mournful tears within their arms, but there wasn’t a force in the universe that could pull her away from them in that moment.

She was guilty.

She was a hypocrite.

She was nothing.

Still, it didn’t matter.

All that mattered was the feel of them in her arms and she in theirs, as if she had never lost them to begin with. She would give a million tomorrows and a million more to be able to stay in this space, to never have to watch it fade away again. Even though she knew it was impossible, her broken heart thrumming at the rusted strings of her very soul wished for it so deeply that she almost convinced herself it was possible.

As long as she clung to them with all her might, could she stop the wind from taking them away?

If she never let go, would they stay?

Would they share a million tomorrows and a million more?

“B-but…it absolutely was my fault…” She choked out in broken bits, her nails digging into the intricate cloths of their haoris. “I-if I had just…j-just paid more attention to what I was doing…If I hadn’t been so o-overly confident in myself and my abilities…neither of you would’ve had to rescue me…Y-you’d both be with me still, breathing and living your lives…” Deeper, she sunk into the brothers, and in perfect time, she felt them squeeze her closer as well.

“You’ve both placed such a h-heavy price on my worthless life that I have no idea how to repay…I don’t deserve the breath y-you both saved for me, I-I really don’t, and losing you has left me feeling so…l-lost…What am I supposed to do, Keisuke? W-what am I supposed to do, Botan? I-I didn’t deserve the price you both paid a-and I never will…You should’ve…Y-you should’ve just let the demon kill me that night…”

“Never.”

Both of the brothers retorted in unison, their tones firm and sure.

“You are everything but worthless, _______. You are as much a part of us as we are of you.” Keisuke remarked, his hand guiding her head to comfortingly nuzzle into the crook of his neck.

“You’re our family, _______. You’re priceless to us. We made the choice to save you because of that – because you are worth more than you’ve ever allowed yourself to believe.” Botan added, pressing a loving kiss to the side of her head.

“We would choose to save you time and time again, _______. If dying means you can live on, we’ll choose it every single time.”

As the brothers’ voices turned to one, she felt her knees buckle beneath her. She collapsed in their arms upon the station platform, and she could swear her cries grew as loud as they could become within her tattered soul, but they sounded muted and muffled to her. She was being dragged beneath the waves, the whitecaps forcing saltwater into her lungs to weigh her down. The glass pane above the surf was too thick for her to break through no matter how hard she kicked and pounded against it.

“It’s not your fault. You have no blame. We chose our fates to end the way they did because we love you. We have no regrets. To know you survived is our greatest victory. Not the many demons we fought and won against, not the many missions we finished, not how far we got as Demon Slayers – you. You are our greatest victory. We want you to live on and tell our stories to new people. We want you to feel happiness again. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to feel. We believe in you. We know, very soon, you’re going to understand why you keep coming back here. Don’t give up on yourself, ________– we never did.”

The waves were grabbing her, drowning her in their murky depths. Through her tears and the surf, she saw the blurred image of them, but they were too far away. She reached through the violent waters, hands outstretched and fingers desperately grasping, but the rapids dragged her out further and further, twisting her within its ferocity. She swore she would die beneath the waves, locked out of breath by the glass pane.

Through the violent sea’s storms and tumults, however, they were there.

Their warmth surrounded her regardless of the glass pane dividing them.

Their arms kept her taut to their forms, unshaken by the aggressive quakes which raked her very bones. Her cries and whimpers which bubbled beneath the waves didn’t scare them away. It didn’t matter that her words were formless, voiceless and silent – they would be there through it all.

Within the midst of this catharsis, the warmth of Rengoku’s presence washed over her as well. It blanketed atop the three within the group’s embrace on the station platform’s floor, forming a protective cover for them. Upon her person, she could feel his arms hug around her and her boys, his haori shielding them from the world around them.

In the distance, she could hear the ominous, foreboding sound of the Mugen Train’s whistle blowing into the cool evening air once again, but still they stayed. She knew it wouldn’t last, she knew she’d be forced to watch them go, and she was terrified to be away from this warmth again.

Living felt so cold without them.

“You are worthy. You deserve to live on. You deserve every breath that leaves your lungs. You. Are. Enough.”

The violent storm was ceaseless and she wasn’t strong enough to break out of the crashing waves and drowning whitecaps, but through the glass pane, she still saw them.

Blurred as they were, she saw them.

Though the thick glass separated them, she felt them.

Through the crashing, muffling waves, she heard them.

“You. Are. ENOUGH.”

~¤ ¤ ¤~

Her pillow was wet again.

Its damp, flimsy fabric somewhat clung to the side of her cheek as her senses returned to her, but she didn’t care. Slowly, her eyes opened just a crack, and through her fluttering lashes, she caught sight of the gentle rays of sunlight greeting her through the open window.

People were walking down the streets of Tatsukawa Village again, their chatter muffling into the background ambiance of nature. The birds chirped alongside the people, conversing in a language of their own, but she felt she might understand them better than the people surrounding her as the days continued to pass her by if she only tried to listen a little harder. The skies above were bright blue once more, she noted, the fluffy white clouds lazily drifting by paying an homage to the life down on the ground for the day they had in store.

There was beauty to be had and appreciated in this shattered world, but from behind her endless pane of glass, everything looked blurry. All the beautiful sights and sounds all mixed into one until nothing was distinguishable. From behind the glass, she could only make out odd shapes and blurry faces tied to distant sounds she couldn’t differentiate between the songs of life and simple white noise.   

Distantly, her tired eyes stared into the infinite sky, her mind filled with empty static. Images of the dream she had awoken from continuously played in her head. They were the cause for the wetness upon her pillow, for the tears which dampened her skin. She could remember the absolutely devastating pain she felt on that train station platform so vividly that, if she didn’t know any better, she would’ve believed it all actually happened. Her dreams as of late have been a theatrical display of difficult, complex emotions she didn’t know how to cope with, but right now, she felt nothing.

She felt numb inside.

Seeing Keisuke and Botan in her dreams with Rengoku was something she wished she could experience in real life just one more time, but she knew better than to cling to a wish so fictitious.   

After feeling everything at once which she tried so hard to keep buried beneath the surface, there was little room for her to feel much of anything else in the aftermath.

The waters calmed, though they kept her beneath the surface. Swallowed within the overwhelming blue, she could feel the waves settle for a moment’s breath only to gain momentum for the next time her strings were thrummed.

For now, the saltwater simply aided in building the rust around her cords once more.

With an immense push of effort, she rolled herself over in bed, turning away from the window to stare at the wooden ceiling above her. There, she inspected the individual grains she could make out in the boards, wasting the ticking minutes which passed her by. The only movement she allowed herself to make for a very long time was to wipe her face dry of the tears she wept in her dreams, numb to the ache that came with those olden droplets.

She had to think about it for a while, trying to find a pocket of strength within her to push herself away from the heavy bedsheets hugging her down to the mattress she laid upon. They felt weighted to her, as if they were monstrously hefty, filled with nothing but rocks and stones to keep her nailed down where she was. They offered her warmth, and though it felt nothing like the warmth she craved, it still did a very good job at faking it. The heavy, weighted warmth made it hard to want to try to leave their smothering embrace.

Everything in her told her to stay where she was so she could rot with the passage of time beneath those suffocative bedsheets, but the voices of Keisuke, Botan and Rengoku whispered in the back of her mind to fight against the poisonous thoughts of hopeless compliance.

She didn’t want to.

Every muscle, bone and nerve within her begged for her to stay suffocatingly cocooned within the covers. They cried for her to give them a break from the shattered world outside her open window, but she knew she didn’t have that luxury to spend. Thus, with the ghost of the hands of those she loved most supportively pressing against her back and shoulders, she pushed herself up to sit within her sea of blankets and face another day.

She felt disoriented at first, like someone forcefully pulled her out of a fever dream. Groggily, she looked around herself, gathering a sense of her surroundings again, until her eyes took notice of something she had completely overlooked the night before.

Resting against the far corner of her room was her Nichirin sword, sheathed and just as she had left it last. She hadn’t noticed in the disarray, but it seemed Momoko or one of the other healers must’ve left it in the room for her while she was unconscious or asleep. Its presence here with her, completely the same as she last remembered it to be, left her thinking about the perplexity of it.

After all, she didn’t come back to the village last night.

She was brought back.

That meant Akaza brought her sword with her when he left her here.

Why wouldn’t he destroy it? Or at least toss it somewhere far away within the vast cedar woods? As a Demon Slayer, a new one would’ve promptly been forged for her by the Corps’ special swordsmiths as they did for all Slayer’s whose swords were damaged or lost in combat, but at least it would’ve definitely left her fully defenseless while she was in the village. Ultimately, it would’ve left her and every single one of the villagers in Tatsukawa vulnerable to any and all demon attacks from the neighboring woods, and to her, that felt like an obvious blow and win for a demon to make on a bunch of humans.

Yet…for whatever reason…Akaza hadn’t done that.

He left her with her only form of defense despite the fact that their realities kept them fighting on opposing sides.

She couldn’t wrap her head around it nor could she find a way to understand the peculiar Upper Moon’s motives, but she supposed it wasn’t important anymore. She didn’t think she’d ever see Akaza again, so it just…is what it is.

Whether that was a good thing or not, she wasn’t so sure.

She turned her gaze away from her sword at the thought, not wanting to dwell upon the what ifs right now. Rather, she needed to get herself up and moving again. She didn’t know where her life was headed now nor did she know how long it would last after last night and the dreams she had, but she did know one thing: continuing to live on her borrowed time meant she still had a chance to secure Tatsukawa’s safety.

Though she had sent her Kasugai Crow for backup, there was still no word as to what or who would come. She owed it to the villagers to stay until reinforcements arrived, to protect a people who saw so much good in her she could never find on her own. What would happen to her after Tatsukawa Village, she didn’t know, but she tried not to think about it too hard. She would follow the currents of the crashing waves and abyssal waters wherever they lead her, but right now, she felt the need to fight against the current just a little bit longer for the people of Tatsukawa.

For the memories of Keisuke and Botan.

With them as her driving force, regardless of how persistently the bedsheets attempted to keep her woven within the confines of their cocoons, she pushed herself to the edge of her bed and pressed her bare feet to the floorboards beneath her. The wooden boards squeaked and creaked welcomingly, encouraging her in her fight to keep going – and she listened this time.

She stood to her feet, pushing passed the overwhelming effort she needed to find within herself to do so. Though her body continued to ache from the long weeks of battles for Tatsukawa’s sake, she would be lying if she said she didn’t feel better than the night before. The pain had faded away a good deal over the course of the evening, and the protest within her bones grew quieter and quieter with each step she took towards the chair where her uniform was folded upon.

Was it Momoko’s medicine that helped or was it Akaza’s gross medicinal tea? I wonder…

She laughed a bit to herself humorlessly at the thought. She would never know which of the two did it, but she figured she didn’t need to know. In their own regards, it felt like they both did something to help. What a weird thought that was. A demon trying to heal a human – who would’ve thought?

Shaking off the oddly somber memory of him, she began to dress herself in her uniform. It was cleaned and pressed, any holes it had last night now sewn shut with hand-sewn needle and thread. One of the healers must’ve taken care of it the night they found her at the entrance of the village after they changed her into a dry, clean set of loose night clothes.

She would have to thank all of them when she had the chance. They worked so hard to keep her well…She didn’t deserve it, but they still did so much for her sake.

She frowned, staring at her patched-up right sleeve once she was clothed again.

Her mind was in a distant place in that moment, her thumb tracing over the individual stitches in the fabric of her sleeve, offset by the white thread used on the black background. Only when she heard the creaking of the bedroom door did she turn away from the stitches.

Turning around, she faced Momoko as she walked inside.

Momoko seemed to be in a brighter mood today than she was the day before. She was anxious yesterday, _______ had noticed, but she couldn’t blame her for it. After so long of living in fear of the moon rising to the sky, it was natural she would feel on edge as the days continued to move forward without a whisper from the forest. This morning, however, she seemed to be at ease. There was a pleasant smile on her face, her eyes, blue as the midday sky, were bright and friendly. Her short, straight, black hair was neatly tied into a ponytail, her fringe bangs perfectly lined above her eyebrows. The hairstyle accented her and her face well, aiding in drawing attention to her eyes of blue skies as well as her pale pink lips angled to her crescent-shaped smile. All-in-all, she came off completely different today than she has the entire time _______ has been stationed in Tatsukawa.

“Good morning, _______. It’s good to see you up again. How are you feeling today? Any better?”

_______ nodded, forcing a small, polite smile to her lips.

She had forgotten what it felt like to genuinely smile. It took her a while, but she eventually mastered the art of faking it for appearances. She didn’t want people asking her if she was alright or if there was anything wrong when faced with the vacant look in her eyes and the unreadable expressions she often made, so she learned and she learned quick.

She didn’t want to be impolite to the people of Tatsukawa Village in any form of the word, so she made good use of her counterfeit talents around them just as she did with everyone else. Nevertheless, her smiles may not be real, but the great fight she put up in secret every day to give the people around her the emotions they deserved were always genuine.

“Good morning, Momoko. I’d like to say I’m feeling better today, better than I felt before anyway. Thanks for asking.”

“Well, that’s great to hear!” Momoko chirped, though a sheepish look soon took her expression as she continued to linger by the open door. “I hope I’m not disturbing you? I see you have your uniform on again.”

_______ shook her head.

“No, not at all. Actually, I woke up not so long ago and only just got dressed.”

“Ah, well that’s a relief then.” Momoko’s friendly smile returned to her. “I just stopped by for two things, so I won’t take up too much of your time. First, Namba-san asked us to let you know he’d like to speak with you about something. He didn’t tell me what it deals with, but he did say it was important, so whenever you feel ready, you should consider paying him a visit. Second, would you like your breakfast here or would you like to join the others and I around the table this morning?”

At the mention of the village head’s name, _______’s brow furrowed. She supposed it wasn’t strange that he wanted to have a one-on-one meeting with her after everything that’s recently transpired. With the last two days of peace Tatsukawa has known and the fact that they all found her unconscious by the village after having disappeared within the cedar woods, she could only imagine there were a couple of things he’d like to exchange words about. For now, she could only assume the importance of the matter must deal with the safety of the village and a conversation on their newfound, questionable peace.

“Alright, thank you for letting me know. I’ll make sure to head over right away. As for breakfast, don’t worry about me and just go get yourself something to eat instead. I’ll sit down for a bite once I’m back, but thank you for offering.”

Truth be told, she didn’t want to be around other people for too long right now. No offense whatsoever towards Momoko and the other healers; they were all a lovely bunch and she appreciated having them around.

The problem wasn’t them – it was her.  

Solitude felt like her dearest companion as of late, and no matter how much time she got with him, she feels she needs more and more of his time as the days pass her by to really feel like herself.

Today was especially true to that fact.

Thankfully, Momoko didn’t press. She simply nodded her head in understanding and gave her a knowing look.

“No problem. You know where to find us if you need us. Be safe out there, _______.”

With that, Momoko left, closing the door behind her to give _______ the privacy she needed to get ready for the day ahead.

She let out a long, steady sigh when she was on her own again, her expression falling to the somber look she only ever allowed herself to have when she was alone.

Turning to look back towards her open window, she watched for a second or two as the gentle breeze of the day ruffled the bundled curtains. She considered going over to close it, but eventually decided to leave it open.

Maybe doing so would allow the sun’s warmth to enter the room while she was gone.

With that decided, she glanced back at the night clothes she strewn onto the chair where her uniform was. She took a moment or two to fold them up neatly, knowing the healers would check her room later to make sure things were tidy for her. She never wanted to be a burden to them in any way, so she did whatever she could to ease their work in that regard. So, after folding her night clothes, she made her bed as well, and only then did she finally find herself standing in front of her Nichirin sword again.

She stood there for a while, staring at her sheathed blade, wondering if it truly still held a use in her hands or not. That night, it might as well have been a toy blade made from plastic for children to play with. Never once did she lift it to fight the demons she was here to ward off, and she felt shame for that, as though she had dishonored the blade painstakingly crafted for her hands.  

Regardless of what she felt, it’s here.

It’s here thanks to the demon of the Upper Moons.

Her frown deepened at the thought.

She knew not what the day had in store for her today, though she supposed anything was possible now after what she experienced.

Keeping that in mind, she took her Nichirin blade in cautious, guilt-ridden hands and sheathed it by her waist before stepping out the door to face the day ahead of her.  

Maybe she didn’t care about what happened to her anymore, but she did care about Tatsukawa and its people. Until the reinforcement squad arrived, she was their sole defender. When she wandered into the woods, she thought she donned the title in the form of a distracting sacrifice given on a silver platter to the demons within, but her sacrificial plan didn’t turn out how she expected. As a result, she was inadvertently given another chance at life. Where the breath in her lungs would lead her now, she didn’t know, but now that she’s lived to see another day, she would gift her remaining tomorrows to the villagers. If the need came to be, she would draw her dishonored blade once more in the people’s defense regardless of her inadequacies.

For Tatsukawa Village, she was ready to give her very last breath.

~¤ ¤ ¤~

The scent of tea was strong in the village head’s home.

Seated upon one of the gray zabutons in his living room, _______ awaited Namba’s audience. As soon as she arrived, he had offered to make her a pot of tea to welcome her with. She tried to politely decline as she hadn’t woken up in the best of moods nor the healthiest of appetites, but he insisted nonetheless. By the time she was seated, he was already walking down the halls of his home to brew the drink for the two of them, and by then, she couldn’t reject his hospitable offer.

It smelled like it was almost done. Its sweet aroma wove itself throughout Namba’s home soothingly, bringing images of sunny yet rainy days to mind. If things had been different, she would’ve liked the idea of enjoying a hot cup of matcha green tea seated on the porch of one of Tatsukawa’s charming homes while watching the rain drizzle and the sun break through the clouds. It sounded and felt so peaceful, when she thought about it, but days like that felt out of reach to her now.

The last time she spent a day like that was when Keisuke and Botan were still alive, watching over Tastukawa Village with her.

She remembered, after successful nights of them defending the village from the attackers in the woods, some of the villagers would show their gratitude to them in the form of humble gifts primarily consisting of food. One afternoon, the three of them were invited for a cup of tea by Namba and his wife, Junko. She glanced towards the back of the room at the large double doors she knew led to the resident’s backyard porch, and in that moment, she almost felt as if she had been transported back in time.

The scent of matcha was strong back then too. The three of them were seated next to each other on the porch with their legs dangling off its elevated edge; she sat in the middle, Keisuke to her right and Botan to her left. After they spent a while with the couple talking about the events of recent days over a couple sips of their tea, they encouraged them to sit on the porch of their home so they could feel the sunshine on their skin again. There, they drank their matcha and shared peaceful smiles. Many words weren’t exchanged, but they didn’t need to be. The light of day breaking through the trees the Namba family had planted in their quaint yard mixed with the breeze spoke enough for itself. After a while, she recalled it began to lightly drizzle back then as well. It was a picturesque scene; the perfect way to enjoy a cup of tea, surrounded by people you love and care for.

Now, however, the sliding doors were closed to the world outside and there would only be tea served for one visitor.

Her stare was vacant as her eyes lingered on the sliding doors. Within her, she felt her heart constrict, aching to squeeze, but she refused to allow those cords within her to strum again.

Not here.

Not right now.

Only when she was under the cover of night alone in her room did she ever want to let those shameful cords to strum again.

“The tea is ready, _______-san.”

Namba’s voice called her attention, bringing her gaze to rest upon the towering man which came to join her by his rectangular chabudai table.

Namba was a large, middle-aged samurai who has seen his fair share of battles alongside a blade. His physique was imposing and muscular, notable even through the simple, loose, mute orange yukata he wore today; the result of the training he dedicated much of his life to, no doubt. His skin was tanned to a deep caramel color, whether it was natural or caused by extensive work beneath the sun, she didn’t know. Various scars alluding to stories he had to tell were brandished proudly upon his ruggedly masculine complexion, and he did nothing to hide nor withhold them from public view. His salt-and-pepper hair hung loosely by his shoulders in messy straight strands, and beyond them, he donned an impressive beard he noticeably kept well-maintained. His eyes called for the attention of anyone he met; one was a glistening, warm amber color, edged with honey and gold, while the other, in contrast, was completely hazed over in ghostly white with its lids tattered by merciless scaring.

He was a man whose mere appearance demanded the respect of others, but as a person, he was kind and humble. He treated those around him with just as much respect and consideration as they treated him. After all this time she’s spent with him and his village, it was obvious to her that he, as an honorable samurai, gave his life for Tatsukawa, always at the ready to defend it and its people whenever the need came to be. It was no wonder someone as loyal and strong as him became the village head.

She couldn’t imagine what he must’ve felt when a threat he could do nothing against fell upon his beloved village.

Relying on others was always so…scary.

Scary and hard.

“Thank you so much, Namba-san. You really didn’t have to trouble yourself like this, but I appreciate it. Your tea always tastes lovely.” _______ politely thanked the samurai as he settled the ceramic teapot and accompanying cups down on the chabudai.

“Nonsense. You are not only an honored guest in my home, but to all of Tatsukawa. The work you and your friends put into protecting all of us here is a debt we can never repay. Brewing a decent pot of tea for you is the least I could do in return.” He waved her formalities off in his friendly ways, already beginning to pour the tea in the cups.

“Please forgive Junko, she couldn’t be here to greet you today. She’s out with her mother and father helping them stock up on groceries before nightfall, but she sends her regards.” Namba apologized on behalf of his wife’s absence, receiving a wave of the hand from _______ as she accepted her cup of tea from him.

“That’s alright, no need to apologize. Spending time with family is important…” She paused a moment, glancing into her warm cup of tea before offering Namba a tight smile. “I’m sure I’ll be able to catch up with her next time.”

“Absolutely. Next time, you must join us for a meal. It’s been so long since you last sat down with us for dinner in our home.” He returned a smile to her, but his was genuine and grand, somehow made friendlier from the fuzziness of his beard surrounding his lips.

“Yes, it really has been a long while since we all ate here together…”

She trailed off and took a sip of her tea, hoping the heat of the drink would help keep her in the present rather than drifting into memories again. The tea was still hot and it burned on her tongue, but it wasn’t so much that she couldn’t bear through it. It hurt a little, but it helped in keeping her focused, which is really all she wanted right now.

“Well, that’s something that can be properly planned out very soon, I’m sure.” He remarked, following her lead and taking a steady swig of his tea. “Tatsukawa Village has known peace during these past two nights after what felt like a lifetime of fear. I don’t know what you did when you left to the cedar woods in the middle of the night, but whatever it was, it seemed it bought us some time.”

“Bought some time?” She echoed.

“Yes. Bought some time.” He repeated, carefully swirling his tea in his cup before bringing it to his lips once more. “I don’t believe this lifelong struggle would’ve just ended overnight the way it seems. Of course, I mean no insult to your great work, and offer nothing but my deepest respects to your friends who arrived here with you.”

_______ noticeably grimaced at his words and turned her gaze away from the village head, focusing on her cup of green tea instead.

“What are you trying to say, Namba-san? Please be blatant.”

“What I’m trying to say is, you and I know demons are craftier and more intelligent than people might give them credit for. They were once human, just like you and I, and with their change, they gain abilities far exceeding anything we can ever aspire to have. For a long time, the cedar woods have been plagued by them, more and more having made their refuge there as the years pass. The forest is vast and practically endless, giving them ample places to hide away in for a night or two.” His expression fell to a more serious look, his eyes sharp and keen. “What I’m saying is, I don’t believe they’re all gone. Perhaps some of them are, I know you’ve slain more than we can count and others have run off, but I know for a fact that there are more of them hiding away within the woods waiting for the moment to strike when Tatsukawa is at its most vulnerable – and I have reason to believe these things as well.”

_______ narrowed her eyes and took in a long, quiet breath as she watched herself squeeze the teacup within her hands, her fingers pressing into the ridges of its ceramic.

Once again, guilt was eating away at her insides.

Everywhere she turned, everyone she talked to, everything she tried to do or avoid, it all resulted in the same feelings to flood her over and over again.

She didn’t do a damn thing to help stop the attacks on Tatsukawa the night she wandered into the cedar woods, but she couldn’t bring herself to confess her sins of it to Namba.

If anything, she felt like a traitor to the people of Tatsukawa, considering she had spent the entirety of that night in the arms of a demon of the Upper Moons.

She shook her head at the memory of him, refusing the images of his person to resurface in her mind during a time like this.

He was a sin she knew she could never atone for.

“Regrettably,” She muttered, lifting her gaze from her cup to look at Namba again, her expression unreadable as she set her teacup aside. “I have to agree with you, Namba-san. My experience as a Demon Slayer up to this point has taught me never to let my guard down after a quick and easy victory…” She leaned forward against the chabudai table, her elbows resting on its edge as she keenly met the man’s gaze.

“I don’t believe the battle for Tatsukawa is over quite yet either, but I do have to ask: what reasons do you have to draw to these conclusions as well? You sound like you’re trying to tell me something, and I know you didn’t ask Momoko to call me over just for us to have a simple chat over a few cups of tea.”  

Namba huffed through his nose, a deep rumble resounding from his chest, and he gave a firm nod of his head as he, too, set his cup of tea to the side.

“I won’t beat around the bush.” He began. “The morning you were found by the side of the village, I lead another search party of my own into the cedar woods while you were being cared for by Momoko and the other healers. I’m not sure if you recall, but I escort these parties up to a certain point in the forest during the day when it’s safe to search for any possessions or articles of clothing belonging to the villagers who have fallen prey to the demons. Anything we can find and identify we return to the families of those lost.”

She nodded her head, her brows furrowing.

“Yes, I remember you telling me about that when I first got here. Was your group attacked? Did something happen to one of the people in your search party I’m not aware of?”

Namba shook his head.

“No, that isn’t it.” His tone dropped, serious and low.

“Thank God, we’ve never had any kind of attacks during the day. No, what happened was that we came upon a pile of possessions in the woods that morning. It was just a few yards passed the edges of the forest. We have no doubt that whatever put that pile together where it did, it was a deliberate act, because we’ve never found as many possessions of those departed together like that before. Whenever we did recover possessions, they were always scattered and randomly strewn about the forest floor, found by dedicated searches and immense luck, but these were purposefully piled high on top of each other, as if whatever did it had been collecting them for months. It was set in a way to make it unavoidable and hard to miss. From everything we found, we’ve been able to identify the belongings of over fifty missing villagers. Shuji and a few of the other village guards are returning the items to their rightful homes as we speak.”  

Taken aback by this new discovery, _______ blinked her eyes at the village head as her expression fell more and more into horror.

It didn’t take a Demon Slayer to realize that leaving a pile of belongings of the missing villagers somewhere that could easily be found in the demon-infested forest was nothing short of an act of mockery. It gave off a boastful, pompous air, as if whoever had done it burst out in guffawed laughter at them all through the vindictive, personal attack.

“I see...” She muttered, a deep frown angling her lips.

One look at each other’s eyes and they both knew they drew the same conclusion: one of the demons in the woods was not only getting bolder, but cockier as well.

“I’m afraid that isn’t the end of what I called you here for today.” Namba remarked softly, bringing his hands off of the chabudai. “While we were able to identify most of the belongings we found in the pile as items from Tatsukawa villagers, there were two things that we weren’t able to identify for any of our missing people. The craftmanship doesn’t match the work of any craftsperson in our village either, so I thought I would ask you if you perhaps recognized them.”

Upon explaining himself, _______ watched Namba reach into the right pocket of his yukata to fetch what he spoke of. When his hand came out, fisted around the items, she noticed a pair of oxidized silver chains dangling between his fingers.

Her heart dropped to her stomach as soon as the chains caught her eye, the beat of it becoming overwhelmingly loud with sudden anxiety as she extended her hands out to the village head. Gingerly, he allowed the necklaces to drop within her grasp, their chains gently weaving around her fingers as a pair of cold pendants came to rest upon her palms.

Nervously, she remained in place for a few seconds even as Namba sat himself back upon his zabuton, her hands trembling the slightest bit. He didn’t question her stalled, shaken reaction as he watched her.

No, rather, there was a look of empathy in his eyes as he watched the woman tremble with the honorable jewelry in her open hands.

Slowly, her movements fueled with apprehensive nerves, she brought her trembling hands closer to herself until she allowed them to rest on the very edge of the chabudai. There, she finally willed herself to peer into what was given to her.

Laying upon the loosely tangled silver chains were the plum blossom kamon pendants belonging to the Watanabe family, one adorned by cracked jade and the other by sullied pearl.

Laying coldly and lifelessly within her hands were the kamon pendants of Keisuke and Botan.

As soon as she recognized what they were, her hands balled up into tight fists around the pendants and she abruptly turned her face towards the ceiling away from Namba. Tightly, she closed her eyes and roughly bit the inside of her cheeks. She tried with all her might to keep every single one of the horrid emotions she constantly felt swirling within her where they lay buried beneath the waves, but no matter how hard she tried, heartbroken whimpers tore through her throat viciously. Her eyes watered and tears began to form, but she quickly gritted her teeth and began to aggressively wipe at her eyes with her fists, refusing to allow herself the space to let those stinging drops flow again now that she wasn’t alone.

Her heart felt like it would stop any day now from all the pain it’s been forced to withstand. Every day, it felt like she was issued another blow that painfully tore at her arteries and muscles, gradually slicing her heart into haphazard threads within the confines of her chest. How she was still alive from the constant emotional beatings alone, she had no clue.

At the thought, she pressed Keisuke and Botan’s pendants firmly against her chest right over where her tattered heart continued to laboriously beat, hoping upon hope that the ghost of them would help ease the scarily rapid, anxious thumps it struggled to maintain.

“I truly am sorry, _______-san…Their kamon pendants were the first things we saw, placed on the very top of the pile. I wasn’t quite sure at the time, but I had an inkling they belonged to young Keisuke and Botan; I had to ask you to be certain. I know this is bittersweet, but they’ve found their way to you again. I hope you may find some comfort in that knowledge.”

Her misty eyes snapped open at Namba’s words, sharply scanning all over the ceiling again. Something he said stood out to her, burning her deep with a wretched insult she never once expected to receive towards the deaths of her closest friends.

They were right at the top. They were the very first things Namba and the others saw when they found the pile. There is no doubt whatsoever that the pile itself was made as a mockery to the people of the village, so that means…Keisuke and Botan’s pendants placed on the very top mustn’t have been a coincidence. Does that mean it was…?

She bit so hard into her cheeks as the thought dawned on her that she began to taste blood. Grimacing at the repugnant taste, she reached for her cup of green tea and took a clumsy gulp. It was lukewarm now, but it did well to replace the taste of metal from her tongue. When she placed her cup firmly back down onto the chabudai, it was empty.

“Thank you, Namba-san…” She quietly murmured, her now vacant gaze locking with his once more. “It means a lot to me to have their necklaces with me now…Keisuke and Botan will accompany me in getting to the bottom of this thanks to you, even if they’re not with me physically anymore.” Abruptly, she stood to her feet, her hand falling from her chest to her side but still maintaining an iron grip on the pendants. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to be alone for a while…”

She began to walk away from Namba and the chabudai, knowing her way out of his home, but before she could get far, she felt the man’s large hand take a gently firm hold of her wrist, stopping her in place. Glancing back at the older man, she caught his eyes staring up at her with deep empathy again, the softness in his gaze making her crack the slightest bit.

“Please, sit down, young one. I know you must have a lot to think about right now, but before you go, allow me to tell you a story.”

She sucked in a sharp, painful breath, the memory of Rengoku now hitting her like a flood as well thanks to the way Namba spoke to her, to the way he looked at her.

Though she lingered on her feet for a moment, she conceded to the man’s request and silently walked back to her spot to sit on her zabuton. His hand slipped from her wrist when she moved to join him, a somber smile angling his lips as their eyes met yet again.

“When I was a young man learning the ways of the samurai, I had a friend. His name was Akihiro. Akihiro and I trained beneath the same master, and thanks to that and all the years we spent training under his tutelage, we grew up together. With time, we became not only the best of friends, but the closest of brothers also. When we grew into young adults and our master passed away, we decided to move on from our home village and travel the lands together. It had been a dream of ours from our youth, and by then, it felt like the right choice to make. Akihiro and I…” He chuckled to himself – a warm and heartfelt, grumbly sound. “We built and made many good, fond memories and stories together drifting from town to town and by the flames of the campfires we kindled in between. For many years, it felt as though he and I would see this lifetime through to the end together as brothers in time. However, fate didn’t destine it to be so.”

He took a pause, drinking down the last of the tea in his cup as well before placing it beside the half-empty ceramic teapot. _______ could feel the grief from his person, could hear it interlaced in each and every single one of his words, but not once did his smile fall.

Despite how saddened his smile was, she felt it to be genuine. There was nothing forced nor fake about it. The way his eyes glistened and gleamed gave away to her that, in his mind, he must be replaying his beautiful memories like a performance on stage for the very first time all over again.

“One day, we came upon Tatsukawa. We only planned to pass by; our intention was to spend a week resting and enjoying the quaint life of a small village like this one. Yet, something about its charm drew us in. We didn’t want to leave, and as luck would have it, it also didn’t take long for us to know that Tatsukawa had been in dire need of a couple of guardians of sorts for its people. You see, back then, demons weren’t the ones tormenting the people of Tatsukawa. Rather, they struggled against their own humankind. The village was constantly targeted by wandering bandit rōnin who would cause damage to people’s property and steal whatever they could get their hands on, because there was nobody around strong enough to put a stop to them at the time.

Naturally, a pair of skilled swordsmen like the two of us fit their needs quite well and held up a difficult challenge to the bandit rōnin, so we chose to remain in the village for a while longer as new samurai of Tatsukawa. What began as a week of relaxation turned into many years of life spent in joy within this village’s borders. We grew older with the passing of seasons, I met Junko and got married, and while Akihiro never wed himself, he loved all of the villagers and the villagers all loved him. We were happy, and our brotherhood only continued to grow as the years leisurely carried on.

Several years went by after we settled down here, and one evening, the village was attacked by a notorious group of rōnin Akihiro and I had crossed blades with in the past in Tatsukawa’s defense. They bore a grudge against us from the very first day we defeated them in battle and dishonored them and their blades, and so, they plotted against us to avenge themselves. Akihiro and I fought the men until dawn, and by the time it was all over, I was the last man standing in that battlefield.”

He took a short pause, breathing in and out steadily through his nostrils, though his somber smile remained upon his lips.

His story began to sound eerily similar to her own, and as the words matched with hers more and more, she began to shake her head with trembling lips. She could feel her rapid, anxious heartbeat kickstart once again with vengeance, her breathing picking up, and all she could do to try to control herself was squeeze Keisuke and Botan’s kamon pendants within her fist on the table for comfort, but their cold surfaces only proved to remind her just how similar their story was to Akihiro’s.

“Akihiro gave his all that night to defend what he loved most,” Namba continued despite the evident emotional discomfort on _______’s expression. “And he died protecting what he loved most as well. It was a truly honorable death for a man like him, and I understand that very well now with age, but back then, understanding any of it was impossible for me. That night, I lost my brother for what felt like no particular reason. I became both inconsolable and unapproachable. Within me, bitterness and hatred began to grow and fester both towards myself and the long-dead rōnin we’d slain that day. A part of who I was got torn away from me, and it felt as if an emptiness of the likes I had never known before began to consume me.”

“P-please, stop…” She painstakingly stuttered, a tear or two slipping passed her defenses and down along the sides of her cheeks. Stubbornly still, she wiped them away with her trembling free hand, never once removing her gaze from Namba’s.

“Why are you telling me all of this, Namba-san…? W-what’s the point of making me listen to this story?”

Namba’s gaze softened with care and sympathy, his somber smile growing the smallest bit, tugging at the edges of his bushy beard. Delicately, he reached across the chabudai and placed one of his large hands upon her fist which gripped onto Keisuke and Botan’s pendants.

She shuddered out a breath as the warmth of his hand enveloped her own, the way he comfortingly stroked the top of her palm with such care reminding her evermore of Rengoku. The stubborn, fearful part of her that kept her trapped beneath the waves fought hard to force her to pull her hand away from the gentle giant, but the much smaller, weaker side of her that desperately craved this comfort won the battle today.

No matter how scary and painful this conversation had become, she couldn’t bring herself to pull away now.

“I tell you this story to let you know that I, too, know what it is like to lose your brother-in-arms and what it is like to walk through life with that lingering hefty weight of grief on your shoulders. I know what it feels like to sit through the darkest days and to feel as though you’re the only one who can bear your burdens. I tell you this story to show you that, though the grief of losing Akihiro had killed me in the land of the living for a very long time, I eventually found my happiness again with the help of the people who surrounded me. Even when I buried myself down to the deepest depths I could reach, people like Junko fought to meet me there, and eventually, she and the others pulled me out of that hole right by their sides.”

He gave her hand a tight, reassuring squeeze, widening his smile a little more again as he watched a couple more tears drip from the young woman’s eyes.

“I tell you my story to show you that, although the pain feels blinding and never-ending right now, you will find your happiness and joyful days within your tale again as well.”

With that, he released her hand and sat straight upon his zabuton once more, his hands coming to rest upon his laps.

“I won’t push you further than that. I know the pain you feel right now is suffocating and confusing, but I want you to know that I am here for you. I understand what you’re going through, and should you ever wish to have another talk, I will always be here. Our titles completely set aside, I view you as one of our own, so I will always welcome and treat you as such – Junko and I both. You know how much she has come to care for you; she would do anything to help lighten the load on your shoulders too, but only when you’re ready to let us in.”

Silently, _______ wept in her seat, her head lowering between her shoulders away from Namba’s gaze. She bit her quivering lower lip as best as she could, but it did little to help the tremors. From there, she watched with wide eyes as several of her tears dripped and fell upon the top of her palms, soaking her skin in lonesome resentment. Inside of her heart and mind, there were violent storms brewing in the middle of her distant seas, painful and tormenting, but…there was something about the pain which came with Namba’s story that felt almost…safe. To know that the two of them shared such similar, tragic stories helped to make her feel a little less alone in the boundless ocean she was adrift in.

Still, she wasn’t quite ready to try to swim towards him.

It was a territory she was far too afraid to explore right now.

Knowing he was there waiting for her, however, was definitely a comforting thought to have nonetheless.

Sniffling shakily, she wiped her face dry as best as she could with her free hand before standing to her feet once again. Lifting her teary gaze to meet with his, she met Namba’s patient eyes and deeply bowed for him in respect.

“Thank you…for everything, Namba-san…”

His eyes turned to gentle crescents, and he met her formal display with a strong, loving hand placed upon her head, ruffling her locks of (hair color) much the same way Rengoku used to.

“It’s nothing, young one. It’s nothing at all.”

~¤ ¤ ¤~

After _______ left the village head’s home, she wandered on her own to the edge of the cedar woods.

The massive cedars excitedly swished and swayed upon her arrival, almost giving the impression that they had missed her presence ever since she was last within their home. She, however, hesitated to enter their domain. She thought about it and stood in front of the forest’s edge for a long time just staring into the vast wilderness within, but she ultimately chose to remain where she was and took a seat on the very dirt path she was on.

Her mind was stormy, filled with a million different thoughts she had no idea how to sift through as she stared at Keisuke and Botan’s plum blossom pendants in her hands.

Namba’s words stuck to her and kept repeating in her mind from the moment she stepped through his door. In place of the vacant, guilty emptiness she felt upon waking up this morning, she now felt a strange stirring mix of both immense grief and another strong, intense emotion she couldn’t quite put her finger on just yet.

When she first got out of bed today, she didn’t know where life would be taking her next. In her mind, she should’ve died two nights ago – but she’s still here, and once again, she’s found her way back to the cedar woods despite everything which transpired within. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do with this breath in her lungs nor the heart caged within her which continued to thump and beat, but when she gazed upon the Watanbe family crests, something within her told her Keisuke and Botan would be happy to see her still standing – Keisuke, Botan and Rengoku.   

Her frown deepened at the thought, watching as her thumb traced the petals of the plum blossom on one of the boys’ pendants over and over within her palm.

Leaving this world isn’t easy. Passing away leaves so many loose ends left undone behind, it throws everyone involved into their own lost spirals with no real way of finding proper closure. She thought giving herself up to the demons in the woods would be the easy way out, that it would be the right thing to do, but admittedly, she hadn’t taken the chance to properly think over what would happen after her death when she had planned everything out. She tried to think a couple of steps ahead, but it wasn’t nearly enough to tie up all the loose ends she still had left to fix.

If she had died that night, what would become of Keisuke and Botan’s stories? Of the stories the three of them shared with Rengoku? Nobody would be able to tell the tales of their trio the way she could, so their stories would be lost to time.

What would become of Keisuke and Botan’s mother and father? They were their only children, and she was also aware that they came to look upon her as a daughter as well thanks to all the time she spent with their sons.

Did she really have it within her to force them to swallow the death of another one of their children like that?

What about all of her other friends in the Corps? Or all the friends she’s made in Tatsukawa Village? Would everyone come to feel the same way she did right now if Akaza had actually killed her that night? What would become of Tatsukawa Village itself? Reinforcements were yet to arrive, and it’s become gravely obvious that the battle for the lives of Tatsukawa wasn’t over yet.

If she died that night, would their blood stain her hands crimson as she was buried underneath the dirt?

What honor was there to be had in a death as selfish as that?

“None.” She murmured to herself, never once removing her gaze from the pendants in her hands. “That would’ve been a coward’s death…Could I…really allow things to end that way…?”

Before she could answer her own question, a familiar crowing caught her attention from above, the sound forcefully pulling her gaze away from the necklaces in her hands. Staring up towards the sky, through overarching branches of cedar, she could see her Kasugai Crow circling in on her, the flapping of its wings loud and rambunctious.

“Caw! _______! _______!”

Terumi crowed as she came to land by her side on the dirt path. There, she began to hop from side to side in front of her, turning her head over and over to always keep one of her never-blinking eyes on her at all times.  

“Your reinforcements request was received by headquarters, but there are currently no squads nor Hashiras available to take this mission! Caw! Caw! You are asked to remain in your post and protect the village as long as you can! Reinforcements will be sent the moment a squad or Hashira becomes available with Kakushi accompanying to bring you back to the Butterfly Mansion for rest and recovery! Caw!”

Her lips parted in surprise at the message relayed to her, but she promptly closed her mouth with a soft sigh.

She supposed it made sense. After Rengoku died and Tengen retired atop of all the lower ranked Slayers they had lost in recent events, there was a huge hole and deficit in the Corps. They were in desperate need of more people to aid in their fight, but they were yet to find proper solutions or form new teams experienced enough to take on high-ranked missions like that of Tatsukawa’s so quickly.

She glanced back down at Keisuke and Botan’s pendants, furrowing her brow as she considered her feelings towards this development.

Could she really bring herself to leave Tatsukawa Village in the hands of another squad or Hashira after everything she experienced here? Could she live on knowing she gave up like that? What of Keisuke and Botan’s pendants and the way they were so blatantly displayed in a pile of mockery and insult along with the belongings of so many other missing victims? Could she continue to breathe knowing she let go of the chance to track down the demon responsible so as to rid the Earth of its malicious existence?

Could she live on knowing she gave up on something Keisuke and Botan gave their lives fighting for?

All at once, a massive wave of determination crashed into her chest, mixing with the whitecaps and surfs of pain and regret she had become so used to.

She couldn’t.

She absolutely couldn’t.

She couldn’t live nor die giving up like that.

Her brothers-in-arms left Tatsukawa Village within her hands to protect and defend. They gave their lives to protect her own, dying with the belief that she would be victorious on behalf of their legendary trio. To live on or die without earning that victory and bringing Keisuke and Botan back home to their parents would be an insult to the legacy they fought so hard to leave behind.

“Terumi.”

She called her crow’s name, her determined gaze returning pointedly upon her companion who mirrored the look.

“Tell headquarters I have things under control in the village. I will continue to fight and protect Tatsukawa no matter what it takes, so there’s nothing to worry about. I will be their defender and continue to fight even when reinforcements are made available. Tell them I’m not going anywhere until Tatsukawa is free.”

Resolute with the new course she was charting in her new life, she chose to cement her decision by taking Keisuke and Botan’s necklaces and clasping them both around her neck. They weighed down encouragingly on her chest, giving her the limitless strength and support of the Watanabe brothers she loved so dearly.

Stirred by her choice, she stood to her feet the moment Terumi took to the skies with her message, watching as her crow flew further and further away until she was completely out of sight. Still, _______ stood there, watching the endless blue skies as her hand came to hold the plum blossom pendants close to her beating heart.

One way or another, all three of them would finish the mission they started.

Together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for making it this far! I hope you've been enjoying the series so far! <3 Thanks for your support by reading and engaging with my posts and chapters! If you'd like to read further ahead, feel free to check out any of my cross-posts links that are a couple chapters ahead! <3 Much love and hugs! God bless! <3

[comfortlesshurt]

Saw that post about fic-writing-related questions to ask you and so:

1. What's the word that appears most in your current draft?

2. What's your preferred writing font?

3. Where do you get your inspiration? (And is it possible to learn this power?)

4. What's your favourite place to write?

5. Talk about your writing and editing process

6. What's the most interesting topic you've researched for a fic?

7. How do you recharge when you're not feeling creative?

8. Besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

omg yes, thank you!

I just started something last night but it's only 40 words, so I'm gonna jump over to a more substantial WIP to get a better answer for this one. For chapter 6 of the bigger fic I'm working on, the top three are: Keith, Shiro, and time. (Or if you want to exclude names, time, when, and enough!)

I picked Times New Roman 12pt when I was like... 12, and I never abandoned it.

It jumps around! Over the past year, it's honestly mostly been from reading others' fics! (Which is also why I've gotten more fanatic about using the "Inspired By" feature on AO3 recently, because I fully think it's okay to take inspiration from others, but the other person deserves a little boost in reads too!) In the past, I've pretty exclusively relied on other people giving me prompts, but I had to figure out something else when I desperately wanted to write and there was no outside interest.

This one's probably boring, but I can't stand writing on my phone or a laptop, so I exclusively write at my desktop in my living room.

For writing: 1) Get idea (the hardest part). 2) If it's multi-chapter and I know that from the start, I'm not allowed to write anything until there's a basic outline jotted down. 3) The actual writing: Active writing doc on one monitor, outline on the other (if it's a multi-chapter work where I need to keep track of how the current part interacts with other parts), and Spotify in the background! For editing: I'm awful about it. I'm one of those people who edits as I write even though it frustrates me every time. BUT in exchange, the final editing is a lot easier because I've already edited it during every drafting session. I try to do the editing at the start because then it doubles as me reminding myself what I've already written and might give me ideas for what I want to write in the rest of this session. The final editing session after the writing is done is usually just me googling synonyms for the words I think I overused!

Oh man, I'm sure I'm blanking on something more interesting from further in the past, but a recent one has been the actual timeline for Voltron. Like, I always knew it was set in the future, but I never thought about exactly when since the show seems to be intentionally vague, and I had to dig into fan theories to get a good answer to that. Usually if I need to research something, I'll stick to an overview because I will go overboard if I give my brain half a chance, and a brief overview is usually enough to avoid writing anything completely wrong and immersion-ruining.

Ooh, I switch hobbies for a bit! I used to think you can't really call it a hobby if you don't do it almost every day, but that's a silly idea and I've given it up. If I don't feel like writing, I don't write. Usually, I'll get really into reading again during those times, but I might also go back to playing the guitar or drawing. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's fun and it's not writing. I just do that until I feel like writing again. That keeps me from associating writing with being frustrated and upset since I only write when I actively want to.

Oops, kinda went into them above already! But other than those ones, I also obsess over statistics, coding, and general math nerd stuff since those are what I went to college for. There are probably other hobbies, but of course they've all popped out of my head now that I'm trying to think of them!

[chattercap]

July 2024 Monthly Devlog

Hello everyone, happy July!

Sorry for the late update this month! I spiraled getting the Hanasu script done, and by the time I realized it half the month had already passed by…how time flies…

WHAT DID I DO?

I ended up working on almost all of my active projects this month, haha!

For Actala, I did… a lot of things, to be honest. I was so set on finishing that I kind of stopped keeping track at a certain point. I finished 10 sprites, including significant redesigns for Faye, Liam, and Shizu. I also did a couple of backgrounds and CGs, and animated most of the CGs that I had done up until that point.

Ultimately, while I did do quite a bit for Actala, I decided to postpone the demo update, as I wouldn't be able to get out a demo with a reasonable scope within the jam time frame (even if I had released Chapter 1, it would have been abbreviated from what I really wanted to release).

For The Deepwater Witch, I made a trailer, fixed up the Steam build, and participated in Steam Next Fest!

For MindMindMind, I fixed up the build for Steam and set it live! I also figured out how to set up DLC.

For Hanasu (the last part of the Karamu trilogy), I had hit a writing roadblock, so I revisited the outline from scratch and reoutlined it. In total I wrote around 20k words for the script during June. I also worked more on the Karamu and Kanau localizations.

I also started development in earnest on my Mythology VN Project, The Perfect Woman, near the end of the month! I collected references and designed the main GUI and did some color palette concepts for the game.

WHAT'S NEXT FOR JULY?

ALAS, July is 2/3 of the way done already, but better late than never! This month, I'm focusing on The Perfect Woman's assets and voice acting casting call. I'm also finishing/finalizing the Hanasu script, in addition to steadily working on the Actala assets.

In the latter part of the month, I'll be polishing the Hanasu script and resuming work on the writing for a secret project! In addition, I'll be working on the coding for The Perfect Woman, as I'd like to be a little more experimental with it than with my other games!

Thank you to everyone who's following along, and see you next month!

Chattercap

[nymika-arts]

3 11 13

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

the idea comes to me as little bits of scenes that i write down in my notes app, sometimes i'll make an outline if the fic will be long enough, i keep writing scenes in my notes app until there's too much to keep track of, i transfer it to a document where i continue to write everything in a completely random order as it comes to me, and eventually there's enough to stitch together into something cohesive

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

favourite of my own? or others? let's do both:

favourite ones that i've written (and posted) are i'll be yours forever (till forever falls apart), i'd pick your thunder, i'd pick your rain, and i tear myself down (to be built back up again)

favourites that i've read in the last little while are never felt this way before (yes i swear) by @rewritetheending, something dangerous (like I love you) by @renecdote, and listen to you breathing (is where I wanna be) by @theladyyavilee

13. What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

sometimes you just need to say the thing. it's so easy to get caught up trying to make every line something poetic and meaningful, or something that sounds beautiful, but sometimes the thing just needs to be said plainly so you can move forward.

get to know your fic writer

[drivingsideways]

For the usual suspects @rain-hat​ and @elderflowergin​ and a not-suspicious at all anon :D

From Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing: 30 Questions for Authors

1. What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

This was a Draco/Hermione fic that I only shared with few friends via email! :))

2. Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them?

Unfortunately, no! Mostly because I am absolutely terrible at working around deadlines when it comes to fic, and also I have a lot of anxiety around whether I’ll ever finish the fics I start writing. 

3. Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?

Hmm, I usually don’t jump around between fics, but sometimes when I’m writing a long fic, I take a break and doodle something shorter. But this is quite rare, because it takes me a while to get into the “zone” when I’m writing a fic and I’m nervous to break that and try something else in case I never get my mojo back for the fic I started with. 

4. Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

I start outlining about a quarter way through the fic, usually! I only have the vaguest idea of plot when I start out, usually, and it takes me a chapter or three to get things clearer in my head. But once I am writing fairly steadily, then I find it useful to make an outline so that a) I don’t forget to put in things and b) I feel good about tracking progress. 

My outline does keep changing- I’d say, I stray about 20-25% from it in terms of no of chapters planned vs what gets written; but not really much in terms of the main story/ events. 

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

This question made me miss my old life (when I was living alone): I miss the table I used to write at, and the window I would stare out of, the curtains fluttering in the almost constant breeze, and the quiet. But the truth is, I can write anywhere- a coffee shop, a train compartment, in my bed- what’s critical is that I need to be left completely alone for a few hours at a stretch. 

6. If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day?

I haven’t really tracked this as such, but I know that I wrote about 3-4k almost every day when I was doing an episode coda format fic for Serenade of Peaceful Joy as it was airing. But that kind of writing is unusual for me;  I’d say maybe 2-3k if I’m left completely alone and don’t distract myself.  But it’s not really the word count that matters, is it? If I write a drabble (100 words!) that I’m happy with, after thinking about it for the whole day, I’m good with that too. 

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

I’m very bad at editing. 

8. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately.

I don’t like to listen while I’m writing because it’s distracting, but in the last year or two, I’ve taken to making playlists to listen to while I think about fic. Of late, it’s been a bunch of David Bowie songs, especially Starman, for a fic I’m thinking about. 

9. Do you prefer to write AUs, canon divergence, or canon-compliant fic?

I think all fic is somewhat “AU” from the canon; but if you’re asking whether I would write a High School AU for hmm, Supernatural, for eg, then NO.  That said, I have done precisely this in one fandom- not high school au, but “modern” au for a period drama- but it was because it was low energy and effort, and that was all I had the bandwidth for at the time.  I usually like writing fic within the canon universe which attracted my attention in the first place.  I often enjoy writing post canon fics, which would be like 95-100% canon compliant; and in some cases I like making a specific canon divergence, which then makes the whole thing “au”, I guess. 

10. Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

I don’t really think of writing or the joy I derive from it in this way though- I mean in these buckets- so I’m not sure whether I can answer this question. I realize that my fics tend to be dialogue heavy because I have tv show brainrot. Do I enjoy writing dialogue? Sometimes! When it’s going smoothly! :) 

11. If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be?

I think my wheelhouse is “bittersweet”, so it’s always going to be an angst+ fluff combo, maybe? I LIVE for the day when I’ll be able to write a good PwP, which, I think, is much harder to do than most people guess. 

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

I keep thinking of writing some kind of platonic soulmate-fic for various canons, but I haven’t got around to it. 

13. Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?

Is Omegaverse a trope or a genre? I wouldn’t write it ever. Also, let’s face it, High school/ college/ coffee shop etc. (I hated college, what is WRONG with all of you!!!)

14. If you were stuck on a desert island with only two characters, which would you pick?

Nobody. I want that island and its solitude all to myself, thanks. 

15. A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?

It can’t be a Hollywood producer, because they would just ruin it, but if anyone wants to make Terms of Surrender,  I think that’s the most movie-like. Artist Company, you can have this FOR FREE. 

16. What is your most underrated fic?

Hmm, I’m not sure what this question really means- should I consider kudos/ comments as a measure? I end up writing niche pairings in small fandoms, so I think that’s a double whammy; but in a medium sized fandom like Beyond Evil, I sure wish more people read “Deer Heart” rather than “Cat Whisperer”. My best writing was for Serenade of Peaceful Joy, which nobody watched, and so maybe three people read the fic. 

17. What fic are you most proud of?

I can’t really answer this, I think. All of my fic is very personal to me, and while I know the quality of the writing varies *wildly *, I’m proud that they exist. Ok, NOT Cat Whisperer or A Soul Divided, but even those I side-eye because I think kdrama fandom has bad taste, not because they’re inherently awful. :p 

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Again, there are lots of little bits scattered across all my fic that I love. I love the ending of Inventing Love which I typed directly into AO3 like a madwoman - while waiting for Rain to finish writing the sequel because we wanted to read each other’s fics together; I love Gon getting high on pot brownies and dancing to Black Pink in Destiny’s Child, and talking to his horse when he’s at his lowest;  I love Miranda Barlow asking Thomas Hamilton whether he would have preferred if she had a cock for him to swallow in  May it Happen to me (all) ,  a line I didn’t know I was going to write until I was typing it; I love all the letters between the halmeonis in Terms of Surrender, especially the last one from Geowi to Kkachi, and I wrote each one of them through a blur of tears where I could barely see the screen; in Moon River, I love Do-chul and Hong-gi sharing a cigarette and being so in love with each other, thinking about what the future holds for them, while the titular song plays faintly in the background; I love Park Pyung-ho wounded and exhausted, leaving the lights on so that Jeong-do wouldn’t hesitate to knock on his door; I love Koo Seo-Ryeong texting Hyeong-min “ I made a man of you, baby, never forget “ in TMTTAL; and I love the young Kang Sin-jae ruining a perfect tea-set by smashing one of the cups in Before You Came. I remember writing these things, and I remember the feeling when I wrote them, the best feeling, when the words on the page say exactly what you want them to, even if it might get lost in translation between you and the reader.  

19. Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

I don’t know if I have ever found *a * particular character hard or easy to write; my trouble doesn’t lie in characters, I have difficulty with the other things- plot and description and grammar, lol. 

20. What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?

I pepper in a lot of OCs because I can get away with it in post canon fics , and it’s a great way to introduce women into male-dominated canons. Off the top of my head, I love the female OCs I sneaked into This Suspect Edifice (Yejun’s colleague and friend Kim Sang-mi), Deer Heart (Sister Lee Sun-ja and Jeong-je’s therapist Dr. Kim Jung-hee) and recently Choe Yeo-reum from  Terms of Surrender and “Hwasal” from Juche. 

21. What is the one fic that got away?

2020′s Tell me the Truth About Love developed an entire universe of its own without so much as asking me; this year that happened with Terms of Surrender (still writing in that universe!). But I’m more prone to letting fics get away than not because I rather enjoy it when they do.  *shrug hands emoji *

22. Have you cried while writing a fic?

Yes, absolutely, why wouldn’t I? 

23. If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

Oh. This is a tough one. I guess I always felt that I didn’t do justice to one of the first  stories that I wrote in The Rise of Phoenixes fandom- A Place in the World- which was a Ning Yi/Feng Zhi wei  fic. I think I would probably expand on the universe and write it from Zhi wei’s PoV. 

24. How did you come up with title for [x fic]?

”Terms of Surrender” started out in a google doc titled The Unified Soy Sauce Company; I think I changed it about three chapters in. I love cheesy Harlequin romance titles and this was a burst of inspiration because I was writing about lives sundered by war and borders; and Spotify randomly played  “Hallelujah” that morning. [ I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch/ love is not a victory march]

25. Which idea came to you first in [x fic]?

For Juche, it’s the reveal that happens half way through the story about how Park Pyung-ho became a spy. Well, that, and Pyung-ho buying a pair of soccer shoes for Jeong-do’s son. Don’t ask me why, I have NO idea. 

26. Which part of [x fic] was the hardest to write?

I know Rain asked for recent fics, but Yeong leaving Corea in Inventing Love was so incredibly difficult to write, but I’m very proud of it. 

27. If you were ever to do a sequel to [x fic], what do you think might happen in it?

If I ever write a sequel to Juche, the only thing I know for sure is that there’ll be at least one scene of them dancing in a small kitchen. [Alexa, play Unchained Melody]

28. In [x fic], what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about [pairing]?

In Rival, post fic verse, Min-chae adopts a dog who only loves her mean mom Na Hee-do. *shrug hands emoji *

29. Send me a word. If it’s in your WIPs, include the sentence and a short summary of the fic.

Lol, I think you’ll find an abundance of the word “huffed” in any fic of mine. 

30. Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.

I only write longfic! *sob *

My scatter-brain is hopping between several different nebulous ideas and I’m not able to settle down with any one, so I’m going to pass on this. The only thing I can say for certain is that it’ll feature people grossly in love with each other, and being completely stupid about it. * shrug hands emoji *

[notmaplemable]

I’d love to hear about your fics and your process as a writer.

How long have you been writing, did you do any fics before RWBY, and do you feel like your writing has evolved over time?

Well, I first started doing creative writing outside of English assignments during my Junior year of HS (11th grade), which would have been 2017/18. But I didn't start with fan fiction. I've written a full 92kish fantasy novel.

Which I wrote on and off from 2017 to very early 2020. And it's terrible. Which, it was my first attempt at long form writing, so it was going to be terrible no matter what. But it was the best I could do at the time and I certainly wouldn't be as skilled as I am now, which still isn't very skilled, if I didn't write it. So you gotta take the good with the bad.

And no, I will never ever ever ever release that document to the public. You people deserve better than that.

Then I didn't really write anything at all from March of 2020 to around this time last year. Why? To make a long story short, medical problems. I had to be rushed to the ER in March of that year, I've spend several days in the hospital since then, I almost had to drop out of college at one point, and I had my last surgery towards the end of August last year.

I actually wrote my first post here, It Worked For Mom, while I was recovering from surgery. So there's a bit of a fun fact for this blog.

I started maybe 5 or 6 Fallout and Dragonball fics while I was in HS that never made it past the first chapter. That I also never published.

I wrote my first RWBY fic around the end of May last year. Rosa Aurum which means Rose Gold in Latin, and yes it was Lancaster. I've been on that train since day 1. Which was sort of my spiritual successor to Beacon Beckons if you've ever read that fic.

I didn't even finish the first chapter for that one.

My second attempt at a fic was actually Lancatster (Jaune x Ruby x Blake) but I can't find the file anymore. And I don't remember the name, but I do remember making it to chapter 2 with the one. So, progress.

------

Now, with everything I wrote from High School to the fic before Ghosts of Summer I had a pretty thorough outline. I fact, it'd say the I probably over planned. The outline document for my novel is about 37k words itself. Which considering the finished novel is a little over 90k, having your outline be 1/3 the size of the finished project is just absurd.

And I tried to use that same method for those first 2 fics that never went anywhere. Safe to say, didn't really work out.

With Ghosts of Summer, which is the first fic I've published and the first that's really made it very far, I've kind of just used the Tumblr version as a rough outline. Which is also what I've done with Ginger Whisper and Arc-Noire and will do with my other series most likely.

So, I've gone from a hardcore planner to a kind of a middle ground between planning and pantsing.

So I guess you can say my planning method now is to throw ideas at you people, see the reaction and if there's any feedback, and see if I like the idea in practice as much as I like it in theory. Which helps me decide if I want to pursue that idea in the novelization or not.

I've recently started giving myself a minimum amount of words to write in a day. 1k words a day. So, actively tracking the amount I write a day has helped me quite a bit in writing consistently. Instead of kind of just waiting for inspiration and hoping that carries me along.

Which is how I've managed to write four 5k+ chapters of three different fics over the past month and change. And I do plan on being much more consistent on the front in the future.

------

As for how my writing has evolved over time. Well, I think my dialogue has gotten a lot better. As well as my prose and writing in general has gotten a lot easier over time.

I'm still terrible with plots. And I'm absolutely terrible with writing body language. So, I think I tend to rely a little bit too much on showing over telling on that front.

I do think I've gotten better overall in the last few months. I think most of that just comes from consistently writing and practice does make perfect. And the fact that I've had the opportunity to work with other wonderful writers on here really had helped too.

But, there's still a lot for me to improve on and I'm going to work hard to continue improving my writing. I do eventually want to be published, so I have a long way to go.

One interesting thing though is that I don't really have any more anxiety when it comes to writing or posting my writing. Not really sure why though.

------

I'm happy to answer any more questions you might have.

[maharghaideovate]

How DY Patil Prepares You for PMP Certification

While pursuing VMP certification, it certainly does not hurt to have a strong base. In comes the DY Patil Online MBA. DY Patil's curriculum, in a way, almost completely goes in line with the examination requirement for a PMP. Here are some tips and tricks:

Curriculum Alignment with PMP Exam Requirements

Comprehensive Curriculum

The DY Patil Project Management program design is based upon and aligns with the PMP Examination Content Outline. The five process groups defined by PMI that will be taken up for the programme course are:

1. Initiating

The focus will be on the preliminary tasks of starting a project, defining it, and identifying stakeholders and objectives.

The key topics would include project charter, stakeholder analysis, and preliminary scope definition.

2. Planning

Detailed roadmap of the project is to be prepared.

Covers scope planning, time management, cost management, quality management, resource planning, communication planning, risk management, and procurement planning.

3. Executing

lConcerned with the implementation of the plan.

lHandles staff management, assurance in quality, and stakeholder engagement.

4. Monitoring and Controlling

lKeep the project on track.

lFollow up on project performance, manage changes, and assure the attaining of the set project objectives.

5. Closing

lFinalize all activities concerned with the project.

lMake sure the deliverables are accepted and the lessons noted.

Core Courses

1. Project Management Framework

Get to know the overview of Project Management.

While managing a project, one has to get familiar with the five process groups: Initiating, Planning, Executing, Monitoring & Controlling, and Closing.

2. Risk Management

Identify, analyze, and respond to project risks

Focus on both qualitative and quantitative risk analysis.

3. Cost Management

Get a grip on project budgeting

Cost estimating, budgeting, and control

4. Time Management

Mastering the art of project scheduling

Techniques Gantt charts and Critical Path Method

5. Quality Management

Ensure that project deliverables meet the required standards

Quality planning, assurance, and control

Elective Options

1.Agile Project Management

Deep dive into agile methodologies.

Scrum, Kanban, and Lean principles.

2. Stakeholder Management

Learn to identify and manage project stakeholders.

Techniques for effective communication and engagement.

Hands-on Practice

The DY Patil doesn't just throw theory at you. The DY Patil Distance Learning MBA combines practical experiences through case studies with real-world project scenarios to analyze and solve, hands-on practice of project management software through simulations, and group projects where the student gets to collaborate with peers to mimic real project environments.

Tips to Crack the PMP Certification

1. Be familiar with the Exam format: 180 questions: multiple-choice, multiple responses, matching, hotspot, and limited fill-in-the-blank

2. Use PMBOK Guide: The PMBOK Guide is your bible. Read every chapter and know it well. Pay special attention to the glossary for key terms.

3. Practice Exams: Take practice exams as the actual test-timer click, click, click. Review your answers to know what you did wrong.

4. Study Groups: Get together with peers—share thoughts, ideas, study tips, and so much more. Online forums and local study groups can be helpful.

5.Tap Online Resources: Take online courses of good reputation. Sites like PMI.org are excellent study materials.

6. Stay on Your Study Schedule: Study at the same time every day. Cut up study sessions into bits

Enroll in Core Courses

Start with the Project Management Framework to understand the basics.

Proceed to Risk Management, Cost Management, Time Management and Quality Management.

Daily Study Plan

Study the base courses for 2 hours a day.

Make summary notes and flashcards. They will come in very useful during last minute revisions.

Weekly Quizzes

• Try solving quizzes each week to see how well you understand the subject matter.

• Analyse where you are going wrong and focus on those areas the following week.

Conclusion

DY Patil Online MBA will arm you with theoretical knowledge that is further backed by practical skills towards PMP certification. Be it the PMP-exam compliant course structure, rich practical experiences, or a strong alumni network, DY Patil sets you up for success. Follow these tips, stay consistent, and join the ranks of successful PMP-certified professionals from DY Patil.

Enroll in the Online MBA Program at DY Patil Distance MBA and fast-track your project management career.

[superfluouskeys]

May Madness

May-hem? Whatever. Anyway.

I have been freed from the clutches of law school for the summer and I have many personal goals and projects I would like to work on, so I thought I would shout about them here!

Writing Goals:

scorched earth (7/11-12ish) -- Prisoner-verse (OC-focused) -- still surprisingly on-track with the original outline I made! I was hoping to get this done over winter break, but I ended up working literally the whole time and then being super burned out. I've kept the structure of this story deliberately simple, so I think I might be able to finish it within the month!

ghost of you (2/4) -- Wheel of Time (Moiraine/Lan) -- part 3 is legit almost done but I need to get back into the Mood and the Vibes you know LOL. and I think it absolutely needs a part 4 to be paced the way I want it. next chapter very soon; 4th chapter idk but shouldn't take too much longer!

original thing (registered trademark, available by scrounging around on my blog for an untagged mess of nothingness) -- since I completely failed at making any progress on this last month due to school nonsense, hoping to make another big push next month! (not that I WON'T work on it before then, just that the above have priority!) completely insane goal would be to push for an extremely messy completed first draft by the end of the summer. but that would be insane. right. right,.., , ,,

still thinking about ways to share this as I work on it for those who are interested, as I am too insane to keep quiet about it forever! I have some other ideas, and there's always the chance I'll spontaneously become insane about something else, but the above are my priorities for now!

If this is all you care about feel free to stop reading here LOL the other goals are more personal ones!

Fitness Goals:

I've been unhappy with my level of fitness for a long time now (made especially bad by my situation during the pandemic) and while I've been able to make some major improvements even with the stresses of grad school, I think I can do a lot better with a little extra time on my hands!

In a few days, I'm planning to start the Insanity workout program (I have my workout class for the next two days lol), which is a two-month HIIT-based program with fit tests every two-ish weeks, so I'll probably post my results here since this is basically the only social media I use and it's nice to keep track LOL. I've also started doing a 20-30 minute brisk walk on an incline in the evening, and while I'm currently just aiming for my daily 10k steps, I'm hoping to push that up to a 15k minimum soon. As I acclimate to the Insanity workouts, I'll also try working in some other activities in the afternoon in the hopes of fostering an overall more active lifestyle. I'm also making changes to my diet, but I'm being very chill about this so I don't become miserable and insane LOL. My main goals are weight loss and building core strength.

Korean Learning Goals:

For the last few months I've been in the frustrating position of an advanced beginner, meaning there are a lot of learning materials that are either way too easy or too hard for me. So, since I have some time, I'd like to put in the hours and push for a major improvement--I want to try to get myself to a low intermediate level of proficiency. I think this will open up a LOT of learning materials for me, and hopefully allow me to hold simple conversations without feeling like I'm dying. There's a lot I need to tackle, but for now I think my main goals are building vocabulary, improving reading speed, and massively increasing my output. I'm aiming pretty high--I'm hoping for about 25 hours/week of active studying/practicing, along with other passive/fun input. I'll be working my way through the first 6 textbooks/workbooks from Talk to Me in Korean (I theoretically know most of the material through level 3 but can't use it on command), and just generally trying to write and speak a lot. I've also been using HelloTalk sporadically to make little journal entry-type posts, so I'll be doing that more frequently, and also trying to track my progress and how I'm feeling at the end of each week.

I tend to aim high when I set goals for myself because I find doing this means I'll definitely accomplish at least some of what I set out to do, and I personally don't really mind not reaching goals as long as I feel I've made noticeable progress. I also think it probably says something that while I was thinking about these goals I legitimately had the thought, "oh, and priority number four, relax and have fun and stuff" lol like okay girl. But I have high hopes, and I think having these goals will actually help me enjoy and get the most out of this downtime! Anyway, if you made it this far, thanks for listening to my rambles! 💪🥰