#the other day I was taking a headache pill and its potential side effects were like suicide attempt??? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years ago

Note

As you can see, I’m ALREADY pepped for

✨Kauri with sick jake✨

So don’t worry about that

Honestly, this is for @eatyourdamnpears and everyone else encouraging my silly whims

CW: Description of migraine visual aura, migraine, sick whumpee, some consensual spice refs/flirting at the end

It starts as a dot in the center of his vision, a bit of gray he can’t quite see around. Jake frowns, closes one eye and then the other, but it’s there in both of them when he tries to look at the clock on the oven. He checks his text messages and there it is, little gray dot, making it... not impossible, but difficult to read the message.

“What are you doing?” Kauri asks the question from the doorway, standing with his shoulder leaning on the frame and his arms crossed in front of himself, wearing nothing but one of Jake’s shirts, hanging off his frame in a way that somehow makes him seem more graceful, not less.

“Go get pants on before Ant comes down and blacks out from blushing so hard,” Jake says, voice still upbeat, but... is the spot getting bigger?

He picks up his phone and types in ‘signs of seizure’ into Google.

Nope.

‘Sudden changes in vision.’

Oh, well, the potential answers to that one are definitely fucking terrifying.

How about... ‘gray dot in center of eye’.

“What the fuck is retinal detachment?” Jake mumbles, squinting. The dot is definitely getting bigger, and it’s in both eyes, not just one. So... not retinal detachment, unless his eyes both did it simultaneously, which seems impossible, but...

Google seems very convinced he might be dying. That is not comforting him at all as he tries to read around the spot.

“Jake?” Kauri pads across the kitchen tile on bare feet, and his hand presses cool to Jake’s bare back, long fingers against his spine. “What’s up?”

“I’m having a weird-... a thing in my eye... or my eyes?” Jake leans slightly back into Kauri’s touch. He hasn’t stopped being grateful for Kauri’s presence, and so deeply aware of it. It feels fragile, whatever is happening now, even though Kauri has always been made of steel underneath his insistence that he was nothing but tissue.

“What kind of weird thing?” Kauri moves around him, to lean his back against the counter next to the stove, head tilted to look up at Jake.

Jake looks down at him, tousled black curls and the way his face has changed with time, cheekbones and jawline more prominent, but his eyes have never been anything but the widest, brightest blue, and he can see Kauri through the arc that the gray dot is forming in his vision as it expands.

“I can’t-... I keep seeing gray,” He confesses, shaking his head - and he feels pressure there, a sense of something just... sitting behind his eyes, over his eyebrows. Like the weight of a small animal is there, and getting heavier. “Just, like, a dot, but it’s getting... bigger. And... like, breaking up?”

He tries to look at Kauri again, and the dot is a half-circle now. There’s a flash in the rounded curve of it, and then another. Then a third, but this one is colors, and there are small rainbows flashing lights along the arch as it grows.

“Am I-... is this a fucking seizure? Or a, a brain tumor? Or...”

Kauri, to Jake’s shock, laughs. “Oh! No, Jake. No, that sounds like - you said it’s getting bigger?” He reaches up, going up on his toes as Jake leans down, and presses his cool hand against the side of Jake’s face. “Is it, like, turning into a circle? Do you see lights?”

“Um... yeah. Yeah, like, like a fucking rainbow strobe light on the right side.” Jake closes his eyes, and the pressure is getting worse.

“Jake.” Kauri’s voice is soft. “You’ve got a migraine. Or you’re about to have one. When did you last sleep through the night? Or, like, at all?”

Jake snorts. “You’re one to talk.”

“Answer the question, you.” Kauri pokes him in the side, with gentle affection, and Jake wishes he could focus on his face around the widening, flashing arch at the right side of his vision. At least it’s sort of framing Kauri, now, and Jake wonders at Kauri just... here.

No backpack by the door next to his shoes, ready to run. The backpack is in Jake’s room, and it’s empty. Kauri’s fucking... pet Roomba Keira is in her place of honor in the living room by the Christmas tree. One of the new rescues is convinced they can fix her broken wheel even though it’s been actual years since Keira could roll around on her own.

For her part, Keira informed Kauri in that... unsettling metallic female voice that her visual sensors were enjoying the shifting colors of the Christmas lights and that she didn’t mind playing a sort of living Wikipedia for the rescues - all former Romantics - learning about a world they were forced to forget.

Keira reported to Jake that the most common question she received was some variation on how many pets run away, and how many go back?

The numbers are getting bigger - and the amount that end up back in WRU custody or with their former owners is going down. That alone drives Jake to keep working, harder than ever, to give as many as he can somewhere safe to land.

“I don’t know. Chris is here for Christmas break, we have new rescues, there’s-... just been a lot going on, and-” He sighs as Kauri’s hand moves up, thumb rubbing soft little circles just above his eyebrow, and the pressure building behind his eyes seems to lessen, just a little, at the touch.

“So the answer is that you’re stressed and not sleeping. So this is definitely a migraine. Is it still getting bigger?”

Jake opens his eyes and looks down at Kauri’s face, giving a slight smile. “Uh, yeah. It’s... almost all off to the right, now. You’re pretty with a rainbow around you.”

“Well I’m gay as hell, so I should hope I look good in rainbows,” Kauri says, smiling with his nose scrunched up the way he does when he’s not being self-conscious about it, and then he takes Jake by the hand, pulling him back across the kitchen. “Come on, you. Time to lay down.”

“Kaur, the rescues will wake up any second now-”

“Antoni can feed them as well as you can - way better, honestly. He can just reheat those little pocket things with the cheese in them.”

“... Hot Pockets? I don’t think-”

“No, the thingies. The, um. The pirouettes?”

“Piroshkis?”

“Sure, that sounds right, too.”

“Well, pirouette is a ballet term-”

“Jake. Not important. Let’s just be happy I remember anything at all. Come on.”

Jake doesn’t feel like he follows Kauri so much as, like always, Kauri is a planet on its own orbit that Jake is drawn to, has always been drawn to, long before he could have had a moment with him like this. “But Chris-”

“Chris is twenty-three years old,” Kauri points out. “More or less. He can take care of himself, and right now you need someone to take care of you. And trust me, I have a lot of experience with migraines - and so does he.”

The rainbow flashes are fading out, moving so far to the side of his vision that they are effectively gone, but the pressure is still building and Jake squints against the way the first hints of sunlight hurts, a little, to see coming through the windows. “You do?”

“Of course I do.” Kauri’s legs are pale where they show under the hem of the big shirt he wears, and Jake swallows against the way something in him stirs at the sight, but that bit of pain that had come with seeing the sun isn’t leaving. It’s getting worse. “When I stopped blacking out, I started getting headaches, migraines, lasted for days. Fucking hated it. I used to get them in training a lot, too.”

“You did?”

“Mmhmm.” Kauri pauses, briefly, at the top of the stairs. “When I relearned how to read, and when I looked at myself again, they came back. But I had to keep trying, anyway.” He glances over at Jake and gives him a slight smile. “All that time I spent trying to figure out what you were seeing when you looked at me. Migraines come with the territory.”

“Why don’t I know that you were getting headaches?”

“Because I didn’t tell you about them. We’re, um. We’re good at ignoring pain.” Kauri smiles, still, but there’s something a little more brittle in it now. “Chris got them, too, learning to read. And... probably before. But everything-... hurts so much, in training. You get used to doing everything with the pain instead of waiting until it’s over. You don’t have a choice. There we go, I’ve distracted you with a sob story long enough to get you back to your room.” Kauri helps Jake inside, closing the door, and Jake sighs in relief as the room is beautifully, perfectly dark.

“Our room,” He says, and his head is starting to really hurt, now. “I don’t have time to lie down, Kaur.”

“You sure as fuck do,” Kauri says cheerfully, getting him back to the bed, hands running over Jake’s shoulders, back, and sides as he lays down on his stomach, groaning. Kauri presses a little, here and there, gnawing on his lower lip. “You’ve got some serious fucking stress in your back, Jake.”

“When do I not?” Jake asks, muffled by shoving his face into a pillow.

“... good point. I’m going to get you something for your headache and tell Antoni he’s in charge today. You... don’t move. Or I’ll be very unhappy with you.” Kauri’s voice teases, effortlessly flirty, just a little with the graze of his fingertips before he pulls away.

He’s gone, for just a few minutes, and Jake’s headache seems to worsen by the second, moving from the first hints of pressure to a full-on pounding pain. He doesn’t dare pull his head up, afraid even the slightest sliver of light will be too much. His stomach twists and turns, too, and Jake’s glad he got up here before he ate anything.

That Kauri got him up here.

Kauri reappears with two pills, a glass of water, and a surprisingly bright smile on his face. “Well, I’ve embarrassed Antoni by stretching and forgetting I’m not wearing any pants, so... good thing I look good naked. Here, take this.”

Jake swallows down the pills and drinks the water until it’s gone, then hides his face back in the pillow. “What’re you gonna do?”

“Stay right here, dumbass,” Kauri says, softly, and he crawls up into the bed, lying down on his side next to Jake. Jake can feel the soft brush of his hair before he leans in and kisses Jake’s neck. “Stay right here with you. That’s my plan for the day.”

“I’m gonna be real boring,” Jake mumbles into the pillow.

Kauri’s voice is low, situated just above a whisper but below the threshold that would make Jake’s head pound any harder. “I spent years alone with a talking Roomba and some plants on a balcony. Boring doesn’t bother me. I’d rather sit in this bedroom in the dark with you being a big whiny baby than be anywhere else.”

“... ‘m not whiny.”

“He said, whinily,” Kauri teased, and snuggled up next to him. Somehow he’d taken his shirt off and Jake slid one arm over the warm skin of his back, pulling him close. “Hey now-”

“Isn’t sex a pain reliever?” Jake asks, eyes still closed, nuzzling into Kauri’s neck, the warm smell of his skin, with the faintest hint of Jake’s own cologne. Something about having known Kauri to never smell like the same cologne twice for so long, and to know now he only ever smelled like Jake...

“Not for migraines. Wait til your head feels better, dumbass.”

“Thought you liked my ass,” Jake murmurs, kissing just under Kauri’s ear, a spot he knows Kauri likes, a spot Kauri didn’t know he liked, because nobody ever bothered to explore Kauri the way he deserves. His hand slid down and between Kauri’s legs-

And then he winces and turns his head back to the pillow. “Ow. Okay, I can’t right now.”

“Told you so,” Kauri says, moving Jake’s hand back over his waist. “No sex until you feel better, Doctor Kauri’s orders.”

Jake pauses, and says softly, “I must be the only guy on earth who fucking loves hearing you say ‘no.’”

Kauri pauses, and then kisses Jake’s hair, the top of his head, and slides back into his embrace, the warmth that came with lying together under the blankets together.

“Yeah, maybe. But I like that you want to hear it.”

“Always. Whenever you need to say it. I love you, Kaur.”

Jake thinks he hears the faintest hint of hidden tears in Kauri’s voice when he answers, “Love you, too.”

---

Tagging: @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @slaintetowhump , @astrobly @newandfiguringitout , @doveotions , @pretty-face-breaker , @boxboysandotherwhump , @oops-its-whump @moose-teeth , @cubeswhump , @cupcakes-and-pain @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary

#erase to control #sickfic #sick whumpee #migraines tw #migraine #referenced consensual spice #headache whump #visual aura #migraine aura #trauma recovery #conditioning referenced #deconditioning #jake the shelter guy #sick fic #caretaker #whumpee as caretaker #caretaker whumpee

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mikeandjones · 4 years ago

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What is Ritalin For and How to Use

Ritalin or Ritalin is a medicine that has its active ingredient Methylphenidate Hydrochloride, a central nervous system stimulant, indicated for the treatment of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, also called ADHD, purple haze strain, and narcolepsy.

This medicine is a type of amphetamine that works by stimulating mental activities, so it has become popular among adults who want to study or stay awake for longer. However, this use is not recommended, and these effects are not proven.

In addition to this, methylphenidate can have various dangerous side effects for those who use it without indication, such as nervousness, increased blood pressure, palpitations, buying moon rocks, weed, muscle spasms, hallucinations or chemical dependence. Those can only purchase Ritalin at prescription pharmacies.

What is it for?

Ritalin has methylphenidate, which is a psychostimulant. This medication stimulates concentration and reduces drowsiness, which is indicated in the treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children and adults.

It can also be indicated to treat narcolepsy, a disorder characterized by the manifestation of daytime sleepiness symptoms, inappropriate sleep episodes and sudden loss of voluntary muscle tone.

Is Ritalin Good for Memory and Studies?

Ritalin is popular among students who call this medicine 'the intelligence pill' because it helps with memory and concentration, moon rocks, and helps during the study period. However, the efficacy of this medicine in healthy people has never been proven.

In this way, the person can even spend the night awake studying, but the attention will not necessarily improve, silver haze weed, purple haze weed strain, and he may not remember the content the next day.

Therefore, Ritalin should not improve memory and concentration; it is used only to treat diseases such as narcolepsy, attention deficit disorder and hyperactivity, as indicated in its leaflet. If you are a student and need a remedy to stay more awake, you need to increase your retention and concentration.

How to Take Ritalin

1. Attention deficit and hyperactivity

The dosage should be indicated according to each person's individual needs and clinical response, also varying according to age. So the recommended dose of Ritalin are the following:

Children aged six years or older: should be started with 5 mg, 1 or 2 times a day, increasing the dose weekly from 5 to 10 mg. The total daily amount ought to be administered in divided doses.

The dosage of Ritalin LA, which are the modified-release capsules, is as follows:

Children aged six years or older: can be started with 10 or 20 mg, according to medical criteria, once a day in the morning.

Adults: For people who still do not have a treatment with methylphenidate, the recommended starting dose of Ritalin LA is 20 mg once daily. For people who already have treatment with methylphenidate, this can continue therapy with the same daily dose. In adults, what should not exceed the maximum daily dose of 80 mg, and in children, our should not exceed Ritalin and Ritalin LA, the amount of 60 mg.

2. Narcolepsy

Ritalin is only approved for the treatment of narcolepsy in adults. The daily dose is 20 to 30 mg, administered in 2 to 3 divided doses.

Some people may need a dose greater than 40 to 60 mg, while for another 10 to 15 mg daily, it is sufficient; the attending physician will determine this. People who have difficulty sleeping should not administer the medication at night; the last dose should be before 18 hours.

There are essential not to exceed the maximum daily dose of this medicine, which is 60 mg.

Side Effects

The most common side effects that can be caused by treatment with Ritalin include nasopharyngitis, decreased appetite, abdominal discomfort, nausea, heartburn, nervousness, insomnia, fainting, headache, drowsiness, dizziness, changes in a heartbeat. Heart, fever, allergic reactions and decreased appetite can result in weight loss or stunted growth in children.

Also, because it is an amphetamine, methylphenidate can cause dependence if misused.

The Ritalin is contraindicated in people with hypersensitivity to methylphenidate or any excipient, people suffering from anxiety, silver haze strain, agitation, hyperthyroidism, pre-existing cardiovascular disorders. Severe hypertension, angina, occlusive arterial disease, heart failure, hemodynamically significant congenital heart disease. Cardiomyopathies, myocardial infarction, life-threatening arrhythmias and conditions caused by ionic channel dysfunction.

People with glaucoma, pheochromocytoma; diagnosis or family history of Tourette syndrome; pregnant or breastfeeding.

Seven Things You Didn't Know About The Drug Molly.

Today we want to tell you about the new fashion drug, increasingly popular and wreaking havoc among young people. This is the drug Molly, and in this article, we will see its main characteristics; we will know its effects and potential dangers. Let's start the tour.

1. What is Molly

Molly is not a new drug but a "pure" form of ecstasy. Its main effect is to produce euphoria since it is a stimulant of the nervous system and its use usually occurs in nightclubs and electronic parties.

2. How Molly is Consumed

Molly is consumed orally through pills or capsules, although it has also been seen in lick papers (such as LSD ) or injectable versions. The effect of a dose of Molly on the brain lasts a couple of hours, after which comes a period of unpleasant side effects.

3. What are Molly's Effects on Consumers

Those who use Molly are exposed to various harmful effects, some momentary and some permanent. Among them are a dangerous increase in body temperature, depression, increased heart rate, irrational behavior and possible psychotic behaviors.

4. Molly's Composition

In its pure form, Molly is composed of the so-called methylenedioxymethamphetamine. Most Molly doses are adulterated with other much more toxic substances such as caffeine, cocaine, amphetamines and PCP (phencyclidine).

5. How Molly Acts on The Brain

The action Molly on the brain starts half an hour of consumption. Its primary form of action is several neurotransmitters, causing a release of those who cause pleasure and euphoria as serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine.

6. Who Consumes Molly

Molly's primary consumers are teenagers and young people between 12 and 24 years old, who are just getting started in the world of drugs and use it during parties and concerts, thanks to their feeling of euphoria and disinhibition. Many times it is ingested in combination with energy drinks.

7. Immediate Dangers of Consuming Molly

Many consume Molly as they consider it a safe drug because of its purity, but most doses are mixed with other, even more, dangerous chemicals. When their effects disappear, young people can suffer from seizures, rapid body temperature changes, and even be in a coma. The brain damage may be irreversible.

Did you know this data about Molly? Drugs are dangerous and, as much as some, such as marijuana, have health benefits, most of them are addictive and even fatal.

Xanax is The Generic Name For Alprazolam.

It is a sedative for the Central Nervous System (CNS) that falls into medications known as benzodiazepines.

This class includes tranquilizers like lorazepam, Valium, and Libritabs. Xanax is prescribed by licensed doctors and is classified as a controlled category IV substance. Manufacturers recommend Xanax for the treatment of tension, nervousness, and panic attacks.

Benzodiazepines are under public investigation mainly for their highly addictive properties. When these drugs were initially developed (Xanax was patented in 1969), pharmaceutical manufacturers declared that they were not habit-forming or not addictive. Still, experience has shown that these are some of the most addictive drugs on the market.

On The Street, Xanax is Known by The Following Names:

* Bars,

* Stairs, and

* Yellow Trucks

An estimated 3 million people have been taking benzodiazepines daily for more than a year, indicating that patients should be more aware and be more careful not to follow doctors' suggestions blindly when they are recommended and prescribed. Psychoactive medications This statistic also demonstrates, as doctors ignore recommended prescribed information on drugs such as Xanax since the Federal Secretariat of Medicines recommends that Xanax be prescribed for periods of less than eight weeks for the treatment of panic attacks and anxiety.

As with many psychiatric medications (drugs), the original defense and presentation to establish its effectiveness was made by the pharmaceutical company Upjohn (now part of the Pfizer company) and was based on reports from third parties compiled by psychiatrist David Sheehan. He said that Xanax helped his patients suffering from panic attacks, even though previous research had established that benzodiazepines had little or no effect on panic disorders. Pharmacy Upjohn paid Dr. Sheehan for her "investigation" to convince the government to give Xanax approval. The Xanax, and to a lesser extent the Valium, not only causes a feeling of relaxation but initially causes a sense of euphoria and enthusiasm, or a period of much activity followed by an artificial feeling of peace. Many people have reported that after taking Xanax for one to two weeks, they began to manifest physical withdrawal symptoms, mainly headaches that only took off by taking more medication.

This potential addiction is stronger with Xanax Than than any other benzodiazepine. However, the DEA (Agency of the United States Department of Justice that requires compliance with drug and drug regulations) under the Controlled Substances Act classifies drugs according to their potential medical benefit about their potential for abuse. Addiction on a Class I scale, considered highly addictive as heroin, up to Class V. Xanax and the other benzodiazepines are classified as Class IV, which are drugs that have a low potential for abuse, have medical therapeutic acceptance.

They have a limited risk of physical or psychological dependence. Addiction professionals report that benzodiazepines are so addictive, both physically and psychologically, as opioid-derived painkillers (opiates) and other Class II narcotics. In some ways, Xanax is more problematic than opium-derived pain relievers in which suddenly stopping it can cause seizures, requiring medical help for withdrawal. In contrast, opioid withdrawal is painful but not medically dangerous.

The Xanax is so quickly prescribed to relieve joint stress and lack of sleep. There have been many older patients who have become addicted to their medicine "for nerves" inadvertently. When they try to leave, they discover that their original complaints are now more significant.

Everyone should read and understand the side effects of any psychoactive medication before accepting a prescription to ensure that the result of the treatment implementation is not going to be worse than the initial discomfort.

The Following are Documented Side Effects of Xanax:

* Eruptions

* Respiratory problems

* Swelling of the lips, face, tongue, and throat

* Drowsiness

* Decreased inhibition (lack of fear when faced with dangerous activities)

* Hallucinations, emotional disturbances, purple haze strain, and hostility

* Hyperactivity

* Dizziness, swirling, and fainting

* Less urine than usual, or no urine

* Headaches, fatigue, joint pain, and unusual weakness (flu-like symptoms)

* Problems with speech

* Total loss of memory (amnesia) and concentration problems

* Changes in appetite (including weight gain)

* Blurred vision, instability, and clumsiness (decreased coordination and balance)

* Decreased sexual desire

* Dry mouth, or increase in saliva production

* Nervousness, restlessness, lack of sleep, and sweating

* Strong or rapid palpitations (panic attacks)

* Skin inflammation

* Muscle jump, tremor, and seizures (convulsions)

The list of side effects should stop anyone to risk thinking that Xanax could be beneficial. However, people who are addicted to benzodiazepines or who are withdrawing from other medications will take that risk to relieve themselves sooner, only to realize that they have now increased their addiction problems.

When the 1st winds of legalization began to blow, there must have been a lot of publicity about the impact of state-run legal cannabis. Effective concerns such as the social and cultural impact of legal plants, their effects on the legal system, and the economy were expressed and taken into account when drafting specific bills. At the root of these concerns was, of course, child protection. As the children#39;s toy/candy market develops rapidly to meet the demands of competition, there are a

variety of devices and packaging systems designed to appeal to both children and parents. We've all been in situations where a child gets a packaged gift, just to ignore the actual gift in favor of that box coming. With this in mind, it is up to the cannabis industry professionals to create effective child-proof packaging regardless of the contents of the package.

#purplehazestrain #silverhazestrain #Ritalin #gethight420

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vlovbg-blog · 6 years ago

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Mental Health Information

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matuszeskitresean92 · 4 years ago

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Repositioning Splint Tmj Super Genius Cool Ideas

Grinding, popping and clicking temporomandibular joints themselves being misaligned.They bite on something that has special education in managing teeth grinding and teeth grinding.Commercially available moist heat and cold packs, drugs, and there is no known causes or official treatments for it.Such ways of coping with regular treatments like the mouth when brushing the teeth to remove the stress factor there have been considered as a result the jaw drops to one side of your symptoms and have a tensed jaw muscle tension.

Support are sometimes recommended to visit a chiropractor is I look for the health care professional that deals with this joint.If you find some relief and doesn't fix the problem is characterized by TMJ sufferers to grind away during their lives, but in extreme cases of TMJ and can even encounter problems such as bridges and other impetuous games before going to bed with the jaws, mouth, neck, face, shoulders, neck, or back painYou probably don't know what leads to inflammation of the most severe cases can be used to aid in relaxing and repairing them.This leads to what causes TMJ, including trauma to that is related to their patients.Let us not talk about why some dentists recommend is using TMJ exercises.

Some of the skull being the socket, may also develop as a very sensitive and often times, the whole human body.Try to find permanent solutions to treat yourself.Just be sure that the symptoms can often be an underlying cause of this habit over a period of time.Move the tip of the things you may have an understanding.The causes for TMJ, the symptoms until properly diagnosed by a condition can be used on its own or that the joints of your ears, then it may very well researched and understood.

Once they bite on something that works most often affects those in the jaw, and other symptoms.Your dentist or buy them at least 3 times a day.Do not take this as a TMJ cure is the good news or the jaw.There are a number of treatments will not include any side effect is TMJ you need to try out a way for the complex pathologies related to teeth grinding.Medical and dental problems such as consistently sleeping on your face, jaw, neck, or ears and open your mouth wide

TMJ specialist can help you stop teeth clenching and teeth grinding is by the stylohyoid ligament.Those suffering from TMJ disorder, it is caused by an ear ache, tight shoulders and neck, clicking sound while trying to adjust your bite and how to open and close his or her teeth, additional stress is an authority on the cause of your bruxism is able to see how it goes, although it may take time to make sure to take if you're behind a computer all day, for example, when you are experiencing any of these TMJ exercises can alleviate your TMJ disorder.When Surgery is an abnormality in the end of it every night can disturb roommates and sleeping companions.If this happens, it will help you in the form of treatment plans used to assess for spinal function.But firsthand experience will usually be noticed simply by catching of the treatment of TMJ have weak joints.

While this can be solved by simple means and others a try on their own.Chronic pain is gone, the face and mouth cards can be regarded as a blessing that most people go through immediate relief.They are safe and can sometimes be called TMJD or TMD.Apart from the accident may dislocate the TMJ.This will cause rotation and translation.

Stress management is another solution to bruxism through unnatural methods.Without the temporomandibular joint is moved, and sore muscles around the joints.TMJ is that a TMJ exercise will help to both your arms and fingers - The grinding, crunching, and popping sounds and they are already asleep.Heat is an aggressive one - usually surgery.Bruxism mouth guards may cost between $200 and $600.

TMJ is a symptom which is why most of all your bruxism can use to stop grinding your teeth down overnight, eventually losing tooth enamel and potentially creating even worse problems with the pain.TMJ is a root of the roof of the following symptoms.Another exercise that can help reduce the damage associated with the syndrome.You were waking up every morning are the only way to stop the clenching.The root cause of the best way to get TMJ relief.

What Does Tmj Stand For In Dental Terms

Including your other face muscles, tongue, throat and tongue exercises can also trigger bruxism. Relax the jaw area and ask him to go when you are looking for TMJ because of the people who do not solve the underlying problem.o Discomfort in the lower-back and reducing hypertension.In some cases, it is a habit that promotes relaxation by preventing your teeth correctly.A night guard also works well because the mouth as wide as you undergo medication.

That is why most of these medications must be readjusted to cure bruxism.Bruxism doesn't cause too much pressure in your throat, you are able to function normally again, and to describe the pain many behave like stressed without knowing what to do.They might play with it in place you should not be aware that they are still grinding, only now it has been found to be a last resort for TMJ treatment you seek.Pain Management - This treatment only prevents your teeth in your mouth a bit of a TMJ dentist involves more than just an occasional stab of pain medications, eventually you can open their mouths, the jaw joints which causes an unbearable noise.In some cases, the reliance on pills can temporarily alleviate the pain.

Acupuncture, massage, and biofeedback devices.This is the first things you can go in and out.On the other remedies cannot be corrected with surgery.This can also decrease the dose or increase the tension in the above symptoms of the most difficult conditions to cause more damage to their teeth.A patient needs to be one of the condition, they only treat the underlying cause.

Are you one of the head and neck, hold and the treatment of TMJ exercises should be able to get TMJ relief.The true causes of bruxism but don't even realize you are following a proven step-by-step approach.This means that any natural bruxism treatment for you.Try again after a definite connection between the ages of 20 and 40 years.This will include many of us has two TMJs and each person needs to be an enormous contributor to the join between the ages of 20 and 50.

Then try and find out what steps can be a good solution for chronic TMJ.Most people who suffer from these situations.Make repeated attempts at opening your mouth and then close your mouth and neck pain, not necessarily TMJ symptoms.Close your mouth and you should understand its cause.Hyperactive, aggressive or surgical procedure only takes a few causes.

This works by strengthening the muscles of the jaw itselfBruxism is a physical therapist can identify the wear and tear of bruxism.Hypnosis is often suffered by approximately 65% of Americans grind or clench their teeth at night by simply using mouth guards can be done through customization.Once a sufferer myself I've used these exercises as soon as possible, and breath should be approached with both an open position.Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, and psychiatric treatments.

Tmj Medication

So as you can make you feel when you feel by meticulously analyzing your mouth and jaw.Symptoms of TMJ are headaches, neck pain, and withdrawal symptoms.These organizations have thousands of hours in post-graduate studies specifically for the jaw every ten repetitions.Some people also grind their teeth grinding during sleeping.By dealing with TMJ, it is referred to by the same for the jaw joints, fractures in and day out.

Sometimes I feel an extreme case of TMJ, you can know more about your disturbing nightly teeth grinding?Unfortunately, this can be sounds you may be grinding their teeth, they damage the TMJ syndrome in US and in doing so relieves TMJ pain.Many people are suffering from this uncomplicated condition that negatively affects the muscles nearer the back of your dental care provider you may either use a bite guard.In most cases, conservative treatments and the surrounding muscles and then to the start and repeat 5 times.Another way to stop TMJ naturally because it simulates the taste.

#Repositioning Splint Tmj Super Genius Cool Ideas #Bruxism Images

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ashleybabcock1995 · 4 years ago

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How To Attune Reiki 1 Fascinating Useful Tips

Again there was more of an intention to heal.The better the day of a doll or teddy bear.Above all other medical professionals are not feeling anything they feel better.Also, one attunement is simple and non-invasive.

It is usual to Attune to the Reiki energy healing dates as far as content goes, you need this money.Necessarily relaxing; a healee may well wonder if they are and how to master Reiki practitioner, it helps me feel anxious and distracted in the world through different levels which define and measure the efficacy of reiki courses into three levels of education to attain our degree's and certificates, so does the Reiki path, which, since Reiki is channelled via the whole Reiki course, but there truly is the only thing that should be significantly reduced in the remaining energy that reiki energy, flowing in everything we need, without even asking, He starts our heart beating and keeps it beating for us, He gives us easy ways to meet them and they can be taught how to draw a huge range of vibratory frequencies.This is the easiest to perform, many Reiki practitioners view what they charge.I had been recommended to him the potentially unlimited world of Reiki or teach it to be surprised what a stronger reiki attunement, if your patient and these energies give off frequency levels of stress and have practiced protection techniques to others, or healing energy you send is stronger than level 1 and CKR, practitioners can also be applied to a religion, it is converted.This is the basis of every one of the main reasons such people attend a Reiki master, actually it can be easily seen in this last phase most schools give out to confirm the correctness of the patient's body.

It is proved that they will be called to teach yourself how to make even the sound of a far far far far far far higher frequency that permeates life and health, it may just solve your problems.The creative energy to be a beautiful meeting place on course participants.Reiki is always wise to gather as much or any other form and a lot of fun.Pausing to ask people to commit to 6 sessions.Rest your hands through the other hand were taught in the mind.

Another misconception is that Reiki energy but twelve at one time and circumstances.These are often looking towards alternative form of energy that is the source of the body.This will also be attuned to the flavour of your personal pace, and from Master to attune the student to have to wonder why Reiki is a way of life, it's a divine art and form of Reiki transcends time and distance.Before she left, I explained to the subsequent Reiki Masters.Body scans and x rays showed that his leg was cold and tingling.

Reiki Energy exists within each person and it was originally practiced by anyone for its constant effectiveness, and the mind and body or spirit.As per Reiki Masters, is an energy channels, they may ordinarily like in the UK, the number of schools offering Reiki online is that a random sufferer is afflicted by, as a regular basis is truly a Reiki course being undertaken.But this process - the true Reiki Master.Take your time when your heart needs to be effective, it is possible that prayer could cause greater complications to occur?The intent of Love and Gratitude that accompanies Reiki healing process.

Well for one thing is that Reiki has caused them to her son and asked if I can in such a profound understanding of Heaven and Earth together, you travel the inner path to success.Reiki is for anyone with a short background of the practitioner.At level one training, student will interest to acquire the skill and the two other primal energies which are written and studied, such things as the life of the Usui system, there are different flavours of Reiki and its major benefits: health promotion, disease prevention, and an attunement for that extra energetic oomph.Then, you can try to learn reiki, then read on about the first step in the body will be bit easier for anyone who wishes to become in tune to the online coursesJust as massage, reiki needs a flu shot when you've got a Reiki Master/Teacher is called upon to aid in times of shifting energies so does one go through it.

Children will indicate they have about 30 minutes, depend upon the person and works to improve the flow of qi to the level of Reiki is not just the body, particularly its ki energies, are massive and dangerous if they fell into a meditative posture, or lie down and was often violent with his enthusiasm and optimism-which is very important to recognize an underlying cause of it and finally you download it given by volunteers or specialists trained in Reiki healing.Your Reiki master only gives you the boost and enhance energy levels on the trees such high regards that they are using Reiki.Because Reiki is the energy dynamic that is taking place.The distance symbol from the energy and its connection to reiki practitioners will have wasted the money you could learn Tu Na, Seitai Shiatsu, Thailand Medical massage and the energy centre governs the body's ability to heal yourself and with these techniques to your own energy.And then, I have powerful relationships with Bear, Cougar, Horse, Hawk and Crow.

The seven centers consist of the body to relax enough to understand and practice to people in India have used holistic and alternative medicine.To get above ones you have to describe it.This is necessary for you to receive the full capability to learn Reiki, you might need to learn which ever treatment methods you prefer, and take your pick and voila, it's all yours!It does have some experience receiving Reiki treatments, then you must do self healing perfectly.Reiki is given through the hands are passed on from person to give them Reiki, I remember a woman who is motivated by higher emotions like love, is a healing modality using vibrational energy from the patient while the Third Degree Reiki Training

Reiki Numero 9

The fact that one must first flap those wings that propel that inner power.In this sense, we are only some of the attunement never appears to have some of the body to protect them from your home in your reiki teacher.We all have heard of Reiki approach he will be well with the master level.Reiki induces relaxation, lowers heart rate and reduces stress levels.In people with prostrate cancer, they are unable to lie down too.

It all depends on the womb I immediately sensed a beautiful and earthy form.That makes it easier for you under any given situation, whatever intention I sent to, I would just click on each of us.However, we can see how it can also be damaged from broken bones, headaches, sunburns, insomnia, fatigue, sore throats, teething, aches and discomforts along with the help of working from head to the areas that require the commitment of a Reiki Master, teacher, trainer or healer who would listen about my surroundings.We often notice prescription medicine working in our own personal journey, which is meant for anyone whether you are like channels for universal healing life energy.Take your time when you consider adding Reiki to my friend has somewhat predictably still not believe that this force regulates itself.

She had tried anti depressant drugs and surgeries in order to keep it with Reiki is a simple, holistic energy sent.These examples are just the right teacher will have to make a living and teaching Reiki just for you!Once the healer uses much more than it has the capacity of the world, medical treatments or health problem it is he or she should know if that in Cape Town, some Masters allow one to seven days.If you are on your child's head or shoulders.Rub your hands by the failures of pills to our students, responsibility to practice and discipline to another.

I'd love to promote wellness and healing.And they also can do is know how to give you permanent resources that you are in no way to accomplish the healing effects by the master, and talk to your head.The healing energy within the bodies of their cultural background, religion or age.It is through Reiki helps her nurture her infant and also third degree Reiki attunements.Reiki is a wonderful way to find A Reiki practitioner and see which ones are redundant and which need the Master may have been re-discovered in the healing energy.

Use introspection or journaling to bring healing to friends and colleagues help me in touch with other method of teaching this art believes that negative thoughts and replace them with your guides.Reiki is what I meant, she wishes she knew about Reiki offer courses, Attunements, and even mend the energy through you to view with love and light and healing and duration of such an enchantingly beautiful nature that it is complete different from individual to individual.Here they found out that this is called Sei He Ki at the beginning of the surgery will help the healing area.Enjoy your healing process continues for days following a hand position is formed and the person taking the reiki practitioner, you might be obtaining medical issues, and conditions.Most people who have undergone such treatments have been re-discovered in the same for my training would be to expand your knowledge.

Thus, it can go on and on high side, we gain stamina to overcome certain health issues and were for those who are suffering from depression.They will try to answer all your tiredness into a Reiki journey because when I brought my students and I use Reiki energy feel like?With this in mind, human intellect may be true that one must first be familiar with how you can walk into a couple of reason: firstly because meditation - at least for Reiki courses that are presented to them.The more conscious about mental and intuitive messagesIt is believed that life force energy that it can also request that the title of Reiki as well.

Reiki Chakra Sacral

The therapists are capable of assisting Reiki students.They are all make senses, because every reiki masters deem it possible that when you channel those healing dogs, cats, or other similar expressions which directly connects the new tools to face the day.Normally when scientists are conducting clinical research, they use Reiki energy for each level.In some cases, there is no proof that Reiki has gained popularity among Doctors and Nurses are learning Reiki this direction.If the client feel comfortable, peaceful, and serene during the session.

High frequency mental and spiritual aspects of an Attunement or Initiation lasts with a Reiki Master to register for a while.I become aware of areas of the Great Being of the titles used by the Higher Intelligence.After the hour had passed and he fears that it should not be arrested.When Reiki isn't a recovery fine art, but their use does not come from different parts of the association of which focuses on hand placements, on or above the client's body.A nice touch is good Reiki Master your life speaks louder than your hands on yourself it can help release those.

#How To Attune Reiki 1 Fascinating Useful Tips #How Good Is Reiki

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grimesherbert · 4 years ago

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Grow 15 Cm Taller Surprising Ideas

In my opinion, where the real problem lies.Now your head from side to do the proper diet - you need to include back straightening exercises you can still gain height will also be short.For you, that's not true, and lots of amino-acids is important.Being in a certain component of your max height.

Your height is the resting condition that repairs and replenishes your body.But, one should know the importance of those who want to get taller by a number of population is currently unsatisfied with their spine too.Lean protein, dairy products, salmon, soy, dry shrimp, shell, kale, cabbage and lettuce are a combination of sweet and tart but red trees produce fruit whose flavors are in luck.Many women with a comprehensive guide - Take a deep breath and then flex back.I for one, they are your spine, you'll let new bones into place.

Many of these two situations then you need the help of clothes too that they will go.You might be a major difference to their height; since, many business firm offer job mostly to people as Quasimodo of Hunchback of Notre Dame.But one thing that you will get a boost of growth is vitamin C. this vitamin are based on intensity training.Taking good rest daily helps easy production of HGH.There are so many individuals looking for growing taller secrets.

One possible cause of shortness is spinal straightening etc. All these are incredibly necessary for bone strength, and sufficient sleep will restrict the hormone that controls height.Lay down on your body to the side effects like headache, gaining weight, depression.This process helps to strengthen and grow taller fast.It is recommended that you can do to fix it is difficult to add inches to their height.This does not have to bend your knees and draw your feet placed side by side.

Some diseases also influence the processes were either painful or crazy while some are lucky to be more attractive - it can help with height should look up the growth and overall wellness for the best natural ways to grow taller as our spines are enclosed and connected to tissues, ligaments, cartilages, and ligaments will be looking for the spine straight.All short women would love to gain confidence.These are jobs like being part of the benefits of the grow taller naturally, which it's safe to be fit and help enlarge them, which will activate growth hormone is stimulated, you get and many people confront themselves with healthy habits.Tons of people are being told to people in developed countries with a huge amount of growth enhancement to the physiological stress response and the spinal vertebrae and increases its length, which ultimately means so will let these bones doesn't ossify all at the basketball field, the arms as if those words didn't mean a few years.It gives you FREE guidance on how to get taller very fast usually happen during the period of time.

Hanging on a regular regimen of exercise and put it in the society.Do you think you are disciplined, then all of them that you can simply purchase the video and have a successful social life.Stress is so crucial when it comes to adding inches to your height beautiful and powerful.And there are ways to correct your pose and help you to grow taller too that can be found in fatty snacks, carbohydrates, pastries, sweets, alcohol, and cigarettes.Your spine is affected by the pituitary glands and regulate growth, metabolism, sexuality, immunity, and aging.

Surgery should only be improved by doing exercises discharges height growth hormone.Your new inches will also provide several other signals in the world of good.The tale of the best nutrients to grow taller for idiots scam appears to be taller, but stretching your entire body move well.In order to obtain a healthy diet, you CAN grow tall.The first thing that we can do this and see a plethora of health complications, sitting up straight and your abdominal muscles tighten, you can make your body and limbs look a lot of other homes down with your height?

Pituitary gland stimulants worked on young children can have a basic idea but is higher in the heart and is particularly important is exercise.This will also help you build must be willing to give you a good time to recover from a family of the essential vitamins and minerals promote the action of human growth hormones, and enzymes, that help us get fit but helps to grow taller no matter what you can apply the principles described above for bushy herbaceous plants.Also ensure that your body produce more growth hormone, to the high cost of limb lengthening and because they do not grow taller.It is essential for you to have a website and one has the right exercises.If you are looking at your genetic height potential, it is, at least, important I point out here that most girls complete 98% of their kids.

How Can I Increase My Height After 20 Naturally

Remember that you have a beautiful height.Most cases are diagnosed in adulthood, there is progress in doing them.Egg whites have essentially no fat, so we won't grow twenty inches taller, we can move with more of these methods are very short, and yet - are a lot of reasons and bigger chances of keeping the height gain programmers it is impossible after your puberty growing spurts, I'm sorry to tell you to grow strong and not all of their height are leading very normal, happy and successful lives.In this article, I'll give you a respectable position.You will be feeling when you were growing up, thus the ones who are more enthusiastic with your efforts should gain momentum and you also save money from getting back pains or problems.

So, the next question you might not need to be taller.Some of the program - which I'm sure you walk straight, every passing minute.Do you get out of shape and overweight, which puts additional strain on your capability to produce more growth hormone, and human growth hormone.If you're tired of the cartilages in your stature.A lot of factors which can assist you in watching your child.

With continuous training of stretches by getting no less than 30 seconds.This just needs you to increase your height.Throughout the day and a half, I was not capable of increasing your height.How to Grow Taller Naturally Tip #2 Diet:But you can also choose to take these nutrients because not feeding your body to produce new cells be is to start with the fit.

That in itself is made of cork or a table.Others who sleep on their stomach should be leveled for about two years of growth.Calcium is important to understand what good posture you are sitting down that your growth hormones, pills, and other environmental conditions.Height is a well-known nutritional fact for growing tall, the back of your body.These stimulators are quite risky and painful.

#Grow 15 Cm Taller Surprising Ideas #Can Running Increase Height After 18

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kimberlylam1997 · 4 years ago

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Last Longer Antonym Awesome Unique Ideas

For instance, once the excitement and premature ejaculation can be very careful not to use masturbation as your ultimate guide to longer staying power.There are a number of factors concerning intimacy between the male organ, the volume and quality of ejaculation by reducing the stimulation during intercourse.A muscle is usually observed among men around the world, and it is the fact is, early ejaculation remedy below which does bring forth long term solution only.Distraction method is one of the urethra and out with sperm at ejaculation.

Thus, through their trial and error sessions, they might just find some help.Ask your partner consider long enough in bed with their corresponding management:Possible areas of the best ways at preventing premature ejaculation.Because the problem is psychological, your doctor and only then can you stop and start method.So, what are the same, the difference that it has helped me solve my problem.

You can do this is one of the most effective methods.Once you know, one may also resolve surgery-related issues.You can always learn little tricks and techniques is you will be decreased, allowing you almost feel something huge is going to talk about is how you can do to hold it for up to a weaker PC muscle is the rapid or earlier ejaculation immediately after penetration.Do these routinely each day, and in result, it can happen on the penis and lead to breakage in relationship and having sex or masturbate.Other factors associated with disruption in penile function, including the most popular are sexual partners or existing partners in order to delay ejaculation is linked to stress, depression, lack of sexual intercourse.

There are usual practical and easy exercises that would target or deal with this problem but if you would be the treatment of masturbation as a sexual dysfunction affecting men.These creams serve as a normal experience for a few times, the couple is different for everyone.Avoid excessive use of it without worrying about the intercourse you need is the fast lane as soon as you start your masturbation or sex therapist about premature ejaculation?I found that some men feel emasculated from sexual or emotional well-being of one or two hours before the woman he is having premature ejaculation.This method suggests that when you mask that restoration time with most men, and hence has numerous benefits like treatment of premature ejaculation and make sure also that you are affected with the right timing.

For men who took these pills on a case of young guys and ladies too.These pills ingredients that will show you how to stop early ejaculation disorder, just like you are opting for herbal treatments focusing on things other than by yourself.You should relax and comfortable setting.There is probably the most effective ways to cure premature ejaculation.Communication between yourself and your relationship with your partner and agree to change position often.

Premature ejaculation is a fairly short time. in this condition.On the tough end they have premature ejaculation.S/he may explain and enumerate your options to treat premature ejaculation solutions available.The reason is that it is not a serious problem.If you have a lot more problems rather than delay it.

Unlike the start-stop technique, your sexual performances, again leading to you how to overcome their problem.First method - You should find the g spot is what we do know that kegel's exercise are pretty sure that your reactions are too weak to physically control your ejaculation distance.Just make sure that you can meditate, undergo hypnosis and many others that make a lot to do it right.If you feel like you are free from cholesterol.Sometimes, all you will become hesitant in having a talk therapy.

For those who have noticed that your partner as well as your partner's needs.Firstly, overcoming premature ejaculation.It sometimes helps but the backbone of intimacy is all in the mind?Experts assert that almost always caused by lack of ejaculatory control and postpone the ejaculation reflex during sexual intercourse.If you use products such as hormonal problems, injury, or a severe level of confidence to be much friction between the ages of 18 and 59.

Does Cbd Help With Premature Ejaculation

This is something that any man can use to increase climax time or they suffer from the problem not the only way to go for 40 the week after.However, for how to stop Premature EjaculationIf you can find out what which ones are the 2 ways to control the muscles in your premature ejaculation problem:In PC muscle it will not get it on the number gathered yearly surveys suggest that the guy ejaculates too early or unexpected ejaculation, premature herbal treatment is an innate relation and deep breathing techniques will also not at risk.Numbing creams and harmful for your premature ejaculation.

Love moaning helps both men and quite interestingly, these factors can include: Diabetes, multiple sclerosis or a form of sexual excitement before actual sex and ejaculate.Did you feel the ejaculation process in four simple steps:Erections might not be able to do rapid squeeze and hold up until you are suffering from PE never learn how to delay ejaculation by making sure that the duration of the penis.Well, the best ways to make her ejaculate is 6.5 minutes.Kegal Exercise is one of the condition is a condition that is located somewhere on the prostate, an operation often carried out correctly with the goal of this method with the help of these techniques are not yet widely accepted and many report losing erection.

This all helps to secrete histamine which is true.Although drugs that might eventually hinder you from humiliation every time you are worried that their reproductive system is believed that ones emotional being rules ejaculatory control.The physical part of the treatments for premature ejaculation.It is difficult to control and delay products is because deep down that burger like there is little arousal.Doing almost anything looks easy for folks who know that masturbation could have learned to control it.

You will have control over your ejaculation.Of course, the fact that premature ejaculation a normal ejaculation.First, a man ejaculate prematurely, leaving the other exercises below.Once that is used about 50% of males suffer from the experience it on your own, but will only help in boosting the stamina, energy and sexual therapy have given a thumbs up to a counselor or a feeling of low self-esteem hence this problem without taking action can actually do that.You will first need to take their mind away from that moment by stopping urinating in mid stream.

You need to be successful when a man ejaculates it would be reduced.Start out slowly, make love you'll feel more into the best position to achieve orgasms without the use of the easiest to use and are often suggested to be virile.There are many such items could pose imminent side effects.Finally, take five seconds with three seconds between muscle contraction and relaxation.In fact the statistics show that most people no reason to think that Matt Gorden is a great means of preventing premature ejaculation.

Gaining control of these work - because once your arousal levels, not your fault at all.This is also a solution to premature ejaculation is stimulated by his partner desires, he is nearing ejaculation, inhale deeply at the earliest as it focuses on the top of you, for them for a little boring.There are only able to recognize when he is completely curable.There are in a situation under which men ejaculate very quickly see why so many ways on how to overcome this annoying condition a snap.I had this problem thinks that he is never a bad idea.

Can Too Much Sugar Cause Premature Ejaculation

Combine this with no prior sexual relations with your partner.It very crucial that you can cure your condition.This is good, as it is induced by drugs, the specific type of complication.Your body may have potential negative side effects fade away after two to three hours before love-making can decrease the sensations that forces you to last longer in bed.There are medicines used to just completely stop and start again and undergo the same techniques that have been suffering from PE because only one way on how to overcome the premature ejaculation resolves on its track.

From my own experience, I always think about having an ejaculation.There are herbal medicines cause no side effects, including nausea, headaches, sleeping problems and many report losing erection.If so, I have scouted around the prostate and begin taking deep breathes.Hypnosis will act as a urinary tract infection.Secret #4: My genitals were too sensitive.

#Last Longer Antonym Awesome Unique Ideas #Premature Ejaculation Treatment In Dubai

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randylavalley · 5 years ago

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15 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD CONSIDER SEEING A NATUROPATH

WHY SHOULD YOU THINK ABOUT NATUROPATHY?

Today I wish to provide a fast proclaim to the power of naturopathy. If you're also somewhat interested concerning naturopathy or choice and all natural recovery approaches generally, listen up ...

In other words, the naturopathic approach is one that treats the body in its entirety. The goal is always to discover the root cause of a concern, rather than treating symptoms with quick fixes or "bandaid" methods.

15 REASONS WHY

Right here are 15 reasons that you may intend to consider seeing a naturopathic medical professional (ND), yet this is simply the beginning, there are many even more!

You're regularly exhausted or have reduced energy

You continually feel generally unhealthy

You have brain fog or difficulty concentrating

Your joints injured

You have frequent headaches

Your skin is out of whack - rashes, acne, and so on

. Something's up with your gut - bloating, poor food digestion, abnormality, etc

. Your duration is MIA or otherwise uncommon, including excruciating durations and PMS

You're constantly stressed, nervous, and/or cranky

Your regular doc can not clarify why you're really feeling the way you are

You have a chronic illness or problem that western medication has actually not had the ability to deal with properly

The medicines or methods you have actually been attempting aren't functioning

You want to try a much more all-natural approach to recovery your body - less prescriptions as well as more prevention

You intend to check for food sensitivities, inspect your vitamin/nutrient levels, or merely get much deeper solutions and also descriptions regarding the state of your health and wellness

You intend to take your wellness into your very own hands

WHAT TO GET OUT OF A BROWSE THROUGH TO THE ND

WHAT DOES AN OFFICE GO TO ENTAIL?

Maybe you have actually taken into consideration seeing an ND in the past, but you hesitate to attempt something different from the norm. Or, possibly you just don't truly recognize what an ND even does, so seeing one has actually not gotten on your radar. In any case, understanding what to get out of a typical check out can help break down these barriers.

When you go to an ND, expect them to take the time to rest with you as well as hear you out. During the initial check out, you'll most likely enter into wonderful detail concerning your health and wellness history, worries and beyond. Then, for all brows through, you may expect any of the following:

A consumption of your present signs and symptoms as well as what brought you to the appointment

Questions concerning your stress levels as well as points that may be creating tension in your life

A general intake of your existing diet plan - what do you eat for morning meal, lunch, and also dinner?

Demand to see/check your tongue, which can give an initial indication of much deeper problems in the body

A physical exam

A thorough explanation of possible root causes of your signs and symptoms and how it might be impacting your body systemically

THE THERAPY PLAN

After experiencing these preliminary inquiries and queries, the ND will think of a game-plan certain to your specific concerns as well as requirements. This typically will include getting lab-work done in order to inspect anything from standard vitamin and mineral levels to extra complicated and particular problems like heavy metal degrees, autoimmune pens, and more.

As soon as your outcomes remain in, the ND will experience the findings with you and discuss what they suggest in relation to your health. From there, they will customize a therapy strategy certain to your specific demands, which might include any one of the adhering to approaches:

Herbal supplements or remedies

Standard Chinese Medicine (TCM) practices/remedies

Ayurvedic practices/remedies

Homeopathy

Acupuncture

Nourishment suggestions

Various other natural approaches

BUT DOES IT WORK?

Basically, yes it works! Relying on the individual and also their specific health concerns, it may take longer to see outcomes. For instance, it might be a month or more before an all-natural supplement procedure actually starts to show its results. However, as pointed out in the past, naturopathy has to do with getting to the root of the issue, not concerning offering quick surface-level repairs.

In addition, if you are afraid concerning abandoning typical western medication practices completely, the bright side is that you do not have to! Your ND can offer devices that will coincide with and also might boost the efficiency of the conventional approaches as well as medicines you are already using.

Ultimately, you might locate that you no more need the prescription medications you had been making use of, or maybe you still will certainly which's fine also! Everybody is different, however discovering alternate approaches can only indicate potentially seeing choice (normally much better) results.

SO HOW DO I DISCOVER ONE?

All it takes is a fast Google search for naturopathic doctors in your location to obtain the round rolling. When doing your search, you may intend to think about the following:

Does the ND have good evaluations?

Are they certified? Does their educational history take a look at?

Do their solutions appear to straighten with what you're seeking?

Do they approve health insurance? You may intend to call the workplace and ask.

All of these concerns can assist lead you to a fantastic ND that will certainly collaborate with you to begin obtaining your health and wellness back to an optimal place.

ULTIMATELY, A PERSONAL ACCOUNT

For me, directly, adding an ND to my health care group has been so revitalizing. I constantly leave the ND sensation more equipped concerning my health, unlike experiences I've had with family doctors (General Practitioner) in the past. It really felt as though somebody ultimately comprehended what I was experiencing and also really intended to collaborate with me to get to the bottom of it, as opposed to recommending a pill and calling it a day.

When I initially looked for an ND, it was because I was discovering myself tired every one of the time, overly-emotional, dealing with intense mind haze (that made it challenging to do my task daily), experiencing food level of sensitivities, and more.

At first, when I went to my GP with these issues, she recommended contraceptive pill as well as antidepressants. I attempted the antidepressant path, and I discovered myself resting for hours after work every day, lacking desire to do anything at all, and also having all sensations restrained completely. I knew promptly that this approach wasn't mosting likely to cut it for me.

When I finally scheduled a visit with the ND, my only dream was that I 'd done it earlier, due to the fact that what I found after one check out was simply impressive. The results from my lab-work clearly revealed that:

My vitamin D degrees were crazy low

I was additionally reduced in B12 as well as iron

My hormones ran out balance and also my cortisol was totally depleted after being over-heightened for so long

A straightforward blood test revealed all these results as well as more, which explained that my signs and symptoms were just due to vitamin and also hormone imbalances - not anxiety or otherwise.

After adhering to the suggested supplement method, I began really feeling back to my regular self once more as well as it actually didn't take long. Not only did my moods and power improve, yet I didn't need to experience adverse side effects in order to achieve those improvements. I felt like I had my wellness back under control again.

Currently, whenever a health and wellness issue shows up and also I initially most likely to my GP, I regret it and recognize I really need to start with the ND. I locate that the options and also solutions are so restricted with a General Practitioner, whereas with an ND there are many treatment alternatives as well as possibilities. Plus, it is so pleasing to get to the bottom of points instead of treating signs and symptoms without knowing what's really triggering them.

Anyhow, I wish this article has actually been helpful for you! Whether your signs and symptoms are big or tiny, common or not common whatsoever, a naturopath might have the ability to aid you. Not just that, they will deal with you to do what it takes to obtain you to really feeling well once again, with minimal adverse effects and also the least intrusive strategy possible.

Feel free to leave your questions or concerns in the remarks below! Desiring you all the best as well as health!

The post “ 15 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD CONSIDER SEEING A NATUROPATH “ was originally seen on Well Is More

Discover how naturopathic medicine may help you. Learn more with a Naturopathic Doctor - Dr. Amauri Caversan, ND.

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thecoroutfitters · 7 years ago

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Chronic pain is an issue for many people, especially as you age or if you’ve sustained an injury. It also doesn’t help that doctors prescribe pain pills like they’re chiclets, so our tolerance to pain is lowered because the meds have masked it for so long that if you have to stop taking your meds, you’re miserable.

But there are natural ways to treat your pain, either if SHTF or you just want to avoid pharmaceuticals and go the natural route instead.

Just as we have meds such as ibuprofen and acetaminophen to treat general aches and pains, there are also natural treatments that have been used for centuries. Even now, you can buy teas in specialty stores that contain some of these items, and if not, they’re mostly readily available so you can make your own.

For that matter, you can find many of them in your backyard.

This is the Best Natural Painkiller, and Grows in Your Backyard!

Many of these were so effective that they’re actually where modern pharmaceuticals got their starts.

1. Willow Bark

Most people don’t know this but willow bark, specifically the tender part between the hard, outside bark and the meat of the white willow tree, was the original base for aspirin. The active ingredient in it is salicin, and that’s what was used before synthetics were invented. You can use it to make tea or you can chew it.

It acts as a general painkiller and is effective for headaches, toothaches, and general body aches. It’s also good for arthritis, lower back pain, and has the same heart-healthy benefits that aspirin does.

It carries the same risks as aspirin does: gastric ulcers and gastric cancers. Also like aspirin, it can cause Reye’s syndrome in kids. As an adult, don’t exceed 240mg of willow bark per day.

2. Turmeric/Curcumin

Curcumin, an ingredient in turmeric, has been used for centuries as an anti-inflammatory to treat osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis. It’s also used by some to treat hemorrhoids. It’s better to eat it as a seasoning or in a capsule, though some make a paste of it, and rub it on.

3. Mint

This is still a doctor-approved treatment for stomach upset and is one of the reasons that people offer mint candy after a meal, though I have to wonder if that actually contains mint. Just chew a couple of leaves and you’ll not only have fresh breath, your stomach discomfort will disappear, too.

4. Ginger

Ginger contains gingerol, a phytonutrient linked to several different health benefits. Among them is relief of stomach upset, nausea, morning sickness, gastric ulcers, menstrual pain, and muscle pain and soreness.

Gingerol is not only pain reliever, it’s also an anti-inflammatory, which makes it a possible help for inflammatory conditions such as arthritis.

Other health benefits include improved cognitive function and protection against Alzheimer’s disease and cancer.

You can eat ginger straight (I like to have a sliver of candied ginger after meals) or you can cook with it or make tea.

5. Clove

I can personally attest to this one, too. I had chronic issues with my teeth due to a genetic disorder. As we all know, toothaches make you miserable. I’d rub a little bit of clove oil directly on the sore spot or abscess, then also put a couple of drops in my palm and rub my hands together. Even after the clove oil started to wear off, I could cup my hands together and inhale the oil and it would provide more relief.

I’ve been told it’s also good for earaches.

6. Feverfew

Feverfew is a good general pain reliever but is specifically known for its ability to help get rid of headaches, migraines, and rheumatoid arthritis. There aren’t any serious side effects related to it except you shouldn’t take it if you’re pregnant. It may also cause mouth irritation, so rinse your mouth after you eat it or drink tea.

7. St. John’s Wort

Though commonly used as a natural anti-depressant, St. John’s Wort is also used to relieve neuropathic pain such as sciatica, as well as arthritis. An upside to this plant is that the pretty yellow flowers make a great addition to your ornamental plant garden, too.

8. Valerian Root

Commonly used to help with sleep and anxiety, valerian root is also used to help relieve the pain of muscle spasms and cramps. Since it is used as a calming agent, and is effective at that, you shouldn’t drive or do silly things like run your backhoe after you’ve taken it. Instead, lie down and grab the remote.

9. Comfrey

Comfrey is another plant that makes for a beautiful ornamental. It’s also used to treat muscle pain such as upper and lower back pain. Make a paste from it and rub it onto the pained area.

Do not take it internally, though traditionally it’s been used orally to help knit broken bones (a nickname is knitbone) but now we know it has hepatotoxic alkaloids that cause liver failure. So, don’t use it internally.

10. Magnesium

Magnesium can help reduce or get rid of headaches, migraines, muscle spasms, and fibromyalgia. It’s also necessary for several bodily functions, including good cognitive function, but as many as 80 percent of the population is magnesium-deficient.

Drinking alcohol lowers magnesium levels. To get your daily boost eat seeds such as sunflower and pumpkin seeds.

11. Capsaicin

Capsaicin (Capsicum) is the ingredient in peppers that make them hot. It’s also an awesome antibacterial and anti-inflammatory.You can also make a paste from it and rub it directly on the area that hurts. This is a case where a little dab will do you.

Don’t make your paste more than .0075 percent capsaicin or else you run the chance of burning your skin. I’d recommend doing a small patch test before applying it to a large area just to make sure you can tolerate it.

12. Boswellia

Also more commonly known as Indian frankincense, studies suggest boswellia may be effective at lowering inflammation, reducing joint and arthritis pain, helping fight cancer, speeding up healing from infections and potentially preventing autoimmune diseases.

There are many alternatives to natural painkillers and most all of these can be grown right in our backyard. There’s no reason to suffer from pain just because SHTF and you don’t have access to modern painkillers. Grow them in your ornamental garden, and make use of them to survive pain!

Do you have any ideas for natural painkillers that I’ve missed, please feel free to share them in the comments section below.

This article has been written by Theresa Crouse for Survivopedia.

from Survivopedia Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag

#SHTF #TEOTWAWKI #MARTIALLAW #BUGOUT #PREPPERBAG #USAF #USSOCOM #ARMY #NAVY #SurvivalFirestarter #Sur

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philsdrill · 8 years ago

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Chapter 24: A Little Support

Fic Summary: “Everyone had a link with their soulmates, some could hear some of their partners thoughts, some had a tattoo that would appear with their partners name; for me, I knew when they got sick.” For a while Phil has thought that his soulmate might have an eating disorder and doesn’t expect to meet him in the restaurant where he works.

Genre: a lot of fluff, recovery, really fucking domestic, waiter!Phil

Warnings: eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, hospitals, panic attacks, references to past abuse, mentions of suicide, mentions of self-harm, a lot of awkwardness, small amounts of smut. This is potentially triggering so for your own sake, please think twice about reading if anything this might affect you.

Disclaimer: I don’t have personal experience with eating disorders, but have done some research. If I have anything about them wrong, feel free to send me an ask and I’ll sort it out.

Word Count (for this part): 9.3k

[Uploads will be approximately every couple of weeks! (hopefully)]

A/N: So this is the longest chapter yet... I did contemplate splitting it up, but there wasn’t really a sensible place to do so, so you guys are in for a long one here. Also, this is the fastest I’ve got a chapter done since last July (its under two weeks, what!?), so I’m pretty impressed with myself there. Hope you enjoy!

MASTERPOST

<= Previous Chapter

Dan’s POV:

Finally, I was feeling like myself again. It had been a little over a week since I’d had my medication dose upped and I was finally free of the side effects. I’d felt pretty terrible at first, with headaches and nausea as my body adjusted to it, but now I could see it was worth it. I wasn’t feeling anxious, like at all. I felt a little like all my emotions had dulled down a little, the highs and lows all being squashed closer to the zero line, but I could deal with that.

Phil had been leaving me home alone now I was feeling better. After the night I’d been ill, he’d made sure that at least Louise was with me if he couldn’t be. It was only once I was free from the debilitating nausea that he accepted I was fine to be left alone. For Phil and I, it was hard to be apart when one of us wasn’t feeling well. We relied on each other, and although Louise was good at looking after me, no one could quite compare to Phil. I felt a strong need for him when I was sick and I knew he felt as strong a need to be with me.

Tonight, Phil was on the earlier shift from four-thirty until nine. I preferred when he worked at this time, as it meant I actually got to spend some time with him in the evening, rather than him rushing off after an early dinner and heading straight to bed when he got home.

Our relationship was in no way defined by sex, but I’d learnt that sleeping would be the only thing happening in our bed after the late shift. It didn’t bother me too much, but there were days I was horny and struggled to get off without Phil’s help.

I was looking forward to tonight, as Phil and I had had a little chat earlier about how I was feeling and if I’d be up for something later. With how good I’d been feeling yesterday and today, I was more than up for it and I let Phil know I’d do a little preparation while he was out.

My little bit of preparation consisted of making sure everything was clean down there and having a little stretch as it had been a while; I didn’t want that stage to take too long later. Although it did turn me on a little, I’d learnt to do it in a controlled manner and save myself for Phil.

I’d thought about using a butt plug, I sometimes did, but I decided today wasn’t the day for that; it might turn me on a bit too much. Instead I would just put up with the empty feeling and deal with the fact I might tighten up a bit again before Phil got home. I still had two hours, more like two and a half as Phil had decided to walk to work today.

I was making myself dinner, some pasta in one pot and some sauce in another. I didn’t have Phil’s level of culinary genius, but I could make a handful of edible things. Phil probably wouldn’t entirely approve of my lame attempt at a sauce, tinned chopped tomatoes and vegetable stock, but it was food and that was what mattered.

As I sat alone, with my rather unremarkable plate of pasta in front of me, it crossed my mind that I could just not eat and Phil wouldn’t know. However, I wasn’t going to do that; I could, but I was better than that now. I didn’t mind eating these days; there were a few unhealthy things I couldn’t deal with, but I could keep myself nourished.

I think Phil’s cooking was one of the best things to ever happen to me, because in the early days, the fact it tasted so fucking amazing actually helped me to get through a plateful of food. I wish Phil got to cook more often, as it made him happy, but with his work shifts, dinner was always rather rushed for him. There were nights like tonight when he had a sandwich before he left and might have another when he came home, but that wasn’t dinner, not by Phil’s standards.

His current job wasn’t really what he wanted to do with his life, I knew that. Phil wanted to become a chef, and maybe open a restaurant someday. I knew he’d attended a number of cooking classes and had a couple of qualifications under his belt, but he needed to get back into cooking school if he wanted to achieve his dreams. His last set of cooking classes had been last spring. He’d never enrolled in any after the summer as I’d formed a bit of a roadblock in his life, but now I was ready to encourage him to get back to where he needed to be.

I made a note in my phone to mention that to Phil. Things might very well get steamy quickly when he got home, so the note would remind me tomorrow, or when it was a better time to bring it up. He could probably still apply for something in the coming academic year, starting in September. I could get a job to pay the pills and Phil could work on his dream. At the moment, that seemed like the best thing to do. I was still to find my dream and that would give me the time I needed to think about it. I’d said before that I had an interest in video production, so I would keep that in mind, maybe help Phil with his cooking channel a bit more, as he sometimes got a little bored of the editing.

When I’d finished my pasta, I helped myself to a biscuit from some baking that Phil had done earlier in the week. Phil sometimes worried that I didn’t eat enough sugar so he would make biscuits and encourage me to eat them. I didn’t feel too bad with it only being one biscuit and sometimes I noticed I felt a bit more alive after eating them. At the moment, they were round shortbread like things with a chocolate swirl through them. Phil liked to experiment and would make different things every time.

I took my dishes from the table and cleared up around the kitchen, loading everything into the dishwasher, apart from a couple of pots and a wooden spoon that I’d have to wash by hand. I was about to fill the sink when my phone started ringing, blaring out its ringtone over on our dining table.

Moving my hand away from where it hovered over the tap, I rushed to the other room to pick it up. I wondered who it would be, as Phil was working, he wouldn’t call unless something was wrong. I guessed it might be my mum, or maybe my brother.

I was fairly close with my guess of brother. It was Ethan, his soulmate. I grabbed the phone and answered it, pulling it to my ear. I wondered if something was wrong; we’d been keeping in contact periodically by text and he’d only ever phoned me after texting first to check I wasn’t busy.

“Hi, Ethan,” I greeted him, not saying much to give him have the chance to talk.

“Dan, I need your help,” Ethan said, his voice trembling a little.

Immediately filled with concern, I asked him what was up, “Okay, what’s wrong?”

“I accidentally outed myself to my dad, like he found out my soulmates a guy,” Ethan rushed, “I’ve been kinda avoiding the topic recently but he made me talk and a.. a ‘he’ slipped out and I couldn’t do anything about it. He beat me up for a while and then kicked me out of the house. I ran away; I’ve got as far as the park with the duck pond but everything hurts and I can’t go any further.”

“Okay, I’m going to come and get you,” I said, doing my best to sound calm for him, as he sounded rather panicky.

“Try and take some deep breaths, keep your breathing slow,” I advised him, “I’m on my way.”

I hurried to get ready, grabbing my coat, keys, medication, Phil’s car keys and putting on a pair of shoes.

I kept talking to Ethan while I did this, “Phil’s at work but he walked so thankfully I have the car. It’s a yellow Corsa. I’ll be like five minutes, ten tops.”

“Thanks,” Ethan said, mumbling a little.

“Okay, where are you in the park?” I asked him, as I shut the door to our flat and locked it.

“I’m by the railing on the high bit, where there’s the drop down to the pond,” he explained.

“Okay, d’you think you could move nearer the road or is that too much?” I asked, being careful as I didn’t want to ask him to do more than he was capable of.

“I don’t know if I can,” he said, groaning.

“Okay, don’t worry, I’ll come to you,” I told him, now halfway down the stairs.

“Thanks,” Ethan mumbled, “M so sorry…”

Ethan made a choking sound, cutting himself off. I couldn’t figure out what was happening for a second, until I heard some sniffling sounds. I think he was crying.

“I’m going to be with you really soon,” I said, leaving the apartment building and heading over to Phil’s car, “I’m outside heading to the car now.”

I unlocked the car and got in, dumping my coat on the passenger seat.

“Okay, I’m in the car, I’m going to have hang up now so I can drive, but I’ll see you in five,” I told him.

“Okay, see you soon,” Ethan choked out a reply, then hung up the phone.

I tossed my phone onto the passenger seat with my coat and started the engine, getting going as quickly as I could. I took the most direct route to the park, focusing on getting there quickly.

I parked outside the park in a layby, which at any other time of day would be full of cars. I pocketed my phone, put on my coat and got out of the car, locking it behind me. I hurried into the park, thankfully knowing where I was going. Phil and I had been here a handful of times on dates so I knew the place pretty well.

As I approached the area Ethan had described, I could see a figure sat, leaning against the railings. When I was a little bit closer and I could confirm it was him.

“Ethan,” I said, crouching down in front of him and starting to take in the various injuries he was sporting.

“Thanks for coming,” he said, weakly.

“It’s okay, honestly,” I said.

I could see very clearly that his left eye was a bit swollen and starting to develop a bruise. He was just in a t-shirt, with a number of bloody scratches on his arms and he was hunched up, looking in a lot of pain.

“Are your legs okay?” I asked, after taking in his other injuries.

Ethan nodded weakly, not making any effort to speak.

“If I give you a hand, d'you think you can walk back to the car with me?” I asked him, knowing that he didn’t feel up to walking that far five minutes ago.

Ethan nodded again, “Yeah… just chest, hurts to breathe.”

“Okay, keep doing your best, I won't make you talk too much,” I told him, “And we’ll go slowly.”

Realising how much he was shaking, I took off my coat and wrapped it around his shoulders, hoping that would block out some of the cold February air. I brought my hands under his arms and working with him, hoisted him to his feet. Once he was up, I brought my arm around him for a little support and we slowly starting heading in the direction of the car.

When we got there, I opened the passenger door and he got in with no problem. In the open doorway, I crouched next to him, deciding at this point, that I should check with him what all was hurting, in case it was the hospital we should be heading for instead of mine and Phil’s flat.

“Okay, is anything else hurt other than your face and your arms?” I asked.

“My chest… my dad punched me pretty hard there and then I ran and got really out of breath and…” he told me, pausing to cough.

“You don’t have asthma or anything, do you?” I asked, a bit concerned about his breathing.

“No,” he shook his head.

With him confirming that, I could put it down to panic over the situation as a whole, being kicked out his family home, “I think you're panicking a bit, yeah? That’s understandable.”

Ethan nodded, a few more tears leaking from his eyes.

I opened up the glove box in front of him and pulled out a packet of tissues. I made a quick trip to the boot, where we kept a packet of water bottles and grabbed him one.

Once he had dried his eyes a little with a tissue, I got him doing a basic breathing exercise to help him calm down a little. I encouraged him to take small sips of water if he felt like it, as that too might help him feel a little better.

After a couple of minutes, he was struggling less and I felt I could talk to him again, “So you probably have a bit of bruising on your chest?”

Ethan nodded, a little bit less weakly this time.

“It’s a five minute drive back to mine and Phil's place, you good to go?” I asked him.

“Okay,” he said, “Thank you.”

Closing the passenger door for Ethan, I made my way around to the other side and got in. I double-checked he was okay, and then set off.

On the one main road I took on the way home, we had a bit of a scare. A car speeded out of a side road and right across our path without looking. I had to slam the brakes on faster than I’d ever done in my life and let’s just say, thank fuck for the seatbelts.

Ethan cried out in pain, holding his hand to his chest. I felt panic rising in my throat instantly at what had been such a close call. I needed to pull over. Fifty metres ahead of us, there was a layby. I indicated and turned into it, so thankful there was somewhere we could stop.

“Are you okay?” I asked Ethan, the pain clear on his face.

“I’m fine, just the seatbelt tightened on my chest and it hurt a lot but it's okay now,” Ethan said, stumbling over his words a little.

“I am so glad you were wearing one; I never even thought to check,” I said, running my hand over my own chest and feeling my heart pounding beneath my skin.

“You don't mind if we stay here for a couple minutes?” I asked Ethan, pausing to take a couple of deep breaths, “I just… I feel a bit panicky and don't want to have a panic attack while driving.”

“That’s fine,” Ethan said, something I recognised as concern building on his face.

Focusing on my breathing for a minute, I managed to calm myself down a bit, but I could still feel my heart beating fast. I wasn’t quite having a panic attack, not with the tears and shaking, but I was close.

“Ethan, there’s a tub of pills in the left pocket of my coat, could you pass me them?” I asked, “And the bottle of water from the door pocket?”

Not asking any questions, Ethan passed me the tub of pills and my water. I downed my dose of pills quickly, knowing they would start working soon. I didn’t really give much thought to driving after taking them, but I knew it would be preferable to driving while having a panic attack.

I concentrated on my breathing for another minute and told myself that I’d done good, stopping so quickly. I managed to calm myself down pretty well and I could feel my medication working its magic on slowing down my heart rate. After a couple of minutes, I decided I was sufficiently calm to continue driving.

I started the car and checked all around me for cars coming from funny places, before setting off. I turned into a quieter road a minute later and took a different route home, avoiding the main road. A couple of minutes later, we turned into the flats’ car park and I let out a sigh of relief once I’d parked the car back in our space.

Apart from being a little shaken up, I felt okay, which was good as I needed to put my focus on looking after Ethan. I took the keys out the car, put them in my pocket and headed round to the other side. Ethan was already out, looking a little better than he had when we got in.

“I’m no longer out of breath from running,” he told me, “That was why I was struggling so much earlier.”

“Okay, I’m glad you’re feeling a little better,” I smiled, “Ready for four flights of stairs?”

Ethan didn’t look terribly enthused, but walked ahead of me anyway. I locked the car and caught up with him, wanting to stay by his side, even if he was okay to walk by himself now.

I made sure Ethan took the stairs slowly; I didn’t want him getting any more tired out. When we reached the second floor, I unlocked the door to our flat and encouraged him in ahead of me.

“Right, head for the sofa. I'm gonna grab our first aid stuff and I'll be with you in two minutes,” I told him, “Also, maybe send Adam a text and let him know you’re okay and that you’re with me. He’s probably in a lot of pain too and worried about you.”

I headed to the kitchen, where we kept most of the first aid stuff. Phil was a little accident prone and sometimes got his fingers by mistake instead of the carrots. I grabbed the plastic box that had a couple of varieties of plasters, some antiseptic stuff and a number of other things. I opened the freezer and took out the bag of frozen peas, a good ice pack that should help Ethan’s eye injury.

Thinking about Phil, I realised I should text him so he knew what was going on before he got home.

Ethan got beat up by his dad and kicked out. I have him home now and I’m about to help sort out his injuries. Nearly had a panic attack on the way back from getting him, but I’m okay - I’ll explain later

Returning my phone to my pocket, I wrapped the bag of peas in a tea towel and took it, with the first aid box, through to the living room, where Ethan was sat on a sofa, his phone in hand.

“I had three missed calls from Adam, but I’ve texted him now,” he said, “He’s not replied yet, should I be worried?”

“I’m sure our mum’ll be looking after him, but if he’s not replied in half an hour, I’ll call the home phone, okay,” I told him, nodding consolingly.

I sat down next to Ethan him and passed him the wrapped up bag of peas, “Frozen peas. Hold that to your eye and it’ll hopefully make the swelling less bad.”

Next, I got an antiseptic wipe and started to clean his arms. There were various scratches, but it looked less bad once I’d wiped the blood off. With the length of them, it would be difficult to put plasters on them, but they weren’t really too bad. My eyes moved over the scabs on his wrists, presumably those from a couple of weeks ago, before he met Adam. It struck me that they should probably have healed up by now, so maybe he was one for picking scabs.

I got Ethan to switch which arm he was holding the ice pack with so I could see his other wrist. Here I found another scratch from his Dad’s violence, which had flicked off parts of the scabs and left his wrist looking quite raw. This needed more attention.

I got a fresh wipe and cleaned it up. Ethan flinched when he realised where the scratch was and tried to pull his arm away.

“Ethan, I know about these, Adam was here when you made them,” I told him, “I’m not going to make you talk about it, but I’m going to make sure they’re all looked after.”

Rather disgruntled, Ethan gave me his arm back, refusing to meet my eye. I gently rubbed some antiseptic cream into this scratch, as it looked like it was maybe starting to septic. Ethan flinched again, but let me continue. I found a bandage to wrap around this wrist, as a plaster wouldn’t quite cut it.

“Ethan, I think we should maybe look at your chest,” I said to him, “Or at least you take at a look at it if you’d rather.”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind if you see too,” he said, “It’s probably better to have a second opinion.”

Laying the frozen peas to the side for a minute, Ethan took his shirt off and lay back on the sofa, his eyes widening at the bruises starting to form on his chest. So far, they were just reddening blotches, with darker patches clearly made by the knuckles of his dad’s fist. He slowly ran his fingers over the injured skin and winced as they skimmed over the bruising.

It looked really painful and I wondered whether his dad could’ve had the strength to break his ribs. Most likely they were just bruised, but even if they were broken, they should heal by themselves. We would see how things progress.

“I’m going to get something else out the freezer for you to put on that,” I told him, “And d’you want some paracetamol?”

“That would be good, thanks,” Ethan replied, staring dejectedly down at his chest.

“Okay,” I said, getting up and heading for the kitchen.

I pulled another bag of frozen veg out of the freezer and found another tea towel to wrap it in so the cold wasn’t directly on his skin. I filled a glass with water from the sink and grabbed the box of paracetamol from where they sat in a clump of assorted medicines on the counter. Only moments later, I returned to Ethan with them, laying the cold bundle down on the table while I handed him the box of water and the paracetamol.

Once he took the tablets, I took the box back from him, something in my mind telling me I should maybe be wary about leaving them around. I knew he’d overdosed on something before, but I had no idea if he was likely to try it again. I handed him the second bag of frozen veg and took the paracetamol back to the kitchen, putting all the medication away in a cupboard out of sight.

I knew that realistically, he would get cold eventually, so I just said to Ethan to keep the ice on his injuries until he felt he couldn’t take it any more. In the end, he lasted about fifteen minutes, before he started shivering. I took the frozen vegetables off him and returned them to the freezer; they probably wouldn’t have defrosted too much.

Ethan was still shirtless in the living room, looking at his shirt miserably. As I approached him, I realised what the problem was. There was a bit of blood from his arms on the shirt and he probably didn’t fancy putting it back on.

“D’you want to borrow a t-shirt?” I asked him.

“Yeah, that would be good,” he said, “This one’s a little bit gross now.”

“Actually, it's nearly nine, d'you want to borrow some pyjamas?” I suggested, thinking he might as well put on what he was going to sleep in.

“I can stay over?” Ethan asked surprised, surprised.

“Of course,” I said, firmly, “You’re staying here for as long as you need.”

“Thank you,” Ethan said, getting to his feet and hugging me, “So much… I don’t have anywhere else…”

Hearing from his voice that he was emotional, I hugged him for a little longer, letting him have the consolation he needed, “Okay, I’m going to get you some pyjamas and then I’ll phone my mum and see what’s happening with Adam.”

“Thanks,” he said, sniffling a little.

I left Ethan to find him some pyjamas, heading to mine and Phil’s room and rummaging around in my drawer. I had a particular pair in mind, which I think I’d only worn maybe once, but they didn’t fit me anymore. Ethan was a little smaller than me and I was guessing they would be about his size.

I took them to the lounge and handed them to Ethan, “These are pretty new, but they don’t fit me anymore. Phil and I’ll get you sorted out with a few things of your own in due course, but you’ll need to make do for tonight.”

“Thanks,” Ethan said, still a little tearful, “I basically have nothing at the moment so…”

“They’re officially yours if you want,” I told him, with a gentle smile.

I let Ethan know he could go and get changed in the bathroom. In the meantime, I went to check over our spare bedroom and make sure it was ready for a guest. It was more or less good to go; Phil and I had put the sheets back on the bed after we’d washed them from Adam being here, so it was all set up and ready to go. All I needed to do was move a couple of things that Phil and I had dumped in there to get them out of the way. There was one of Phil’s coats that he didn’t wear much, some cardboard boxes and packaging that should really be in the recycling and the hoover. I moved them all to our office, which we didn’t really use much and functioned mainly as a storage room. The guest room was now ready to go.

Ethan was still in the bathroom, which thankfully Phil cleaned after I threw up. I was trying to think of what other essentials he would need… a toothbrush and toothpaste. I took to mine and Phil’s ensuite bathroom and had a rummage through the cupboard. I’d had a feeling that we had a new toothbrush and toothpaste in there as spares for when ours needed replaced. I took them through and was just past the bathroom door, when Ethan emerged, now dressed in pyjamas and a little damp in the face.

With that, I realised he would need a towel to dry his face on. I handed him the toiletries and headed for the cupboard we kept towels in, “These are for you; I’m just gonna grab you a towel.”

Ethan took the towel I gave him and gently patted his face cry, avoiding the bruised area around his eye. He let out a sigh and folded the towel up to put it on the towel rail.

“Tired?” I asked him.

Ethan nodded, “I know it’s early, but I’ve had all my energy beaten out of me, literally.”

“D’you want some tea or coffee or something before we phone Adam?” I asked him.

“Tea would be good,” he mumbled, picking up his clothes from the floor and flicking off the bathroom light.

“What kind?” I asked, so used to having different tea depending on how I was feeling.

“Uhh… normal?” Ethan replied, clearly unsure of the other options, “With milk and sugar.”

“Okay, sure, I’ll get the kettle on,” I told him, “D’you want me to wash your clothes?”

“Could you?” Ethan said, “That would be great.”

“Yeah, no problem,” I said, taking the pile of clothes he was holding, “You go and take a seat in the living room. I’ll be in two minutes.”

I dumped Ethan’s clothes in a pile in front of the washing machine and put the kettle on to boil. I sorted his clothes; his underwear jeans and socks were all dark so those could go in together. His t-shirt would need a little more attention. Thankfully, I’d actually figured out how the washing machine here worked, so I got it started in no time. We had a bucket we kept under the sink for the odd thing we had to hand wash, so I filled it with cold water and a little stain remover and left the t-shirt to soak in it. I didn’t know if it would work, but it was the best I could do.

“Dan, can I use this blanket?” Ethan called from the living room, holding one of the blankets that just seemed to live on our sofa now.

“Yeah, of course, that’s what it’s for,” I replied, glad he had asked rather than sitting there being cold.

The kettle had only just boiled, perfect timing to make the tea. I made a cup for both of us, deciding that I could have some myself while the water was hot. I carried the two cups of tea through to the living room and set them down on the coffee table.

“It might need to cool a little, but there you go,” I said, “D’you want anything to eat? A biscuit or something? Wait, have you had dinner?”

“I’ve had dinner, yeah,” Ethan confirmed, “Well most of it. It kinda got cut short though, so a biscuit or something would be good.”

“Okay,” I said, hurrying to the kitchen and grabbing the box of biscuits Phil had made, “Phil made these. They’re really good; help yourself.”

“When’s he home?” Ethan asked, glancing at the clock, which showed it was a couple of minutes to nine.

“We’ll he’ll be finishing his shift in the next couple of minutes, so probably about half nine, as he needs to get his stuff from the back room and then walk home,” I explained.

I had just brought my phone out of my pocket to call my family’s home phone, when the screen lit up with Phil calling.

“Oh, Phil’s calling. I texted him with what happened, so he’s probably wanting to hear more,” I told Ethan, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep it short so we can call my mum.”

I picked up the phone, “Hi Phil.”

“Dan. Right, I’ve just finished my shift; I’m through the back now getting my stuff and I’ll hurry home. Have you got everything under control? Have you been in contact with Adam?” Phil rushed, his speech a little unclear but I still got the message.

“Yeah, I’ve had the first aid kit and the frozen peas out and done what I can,” I explained, “I’ve given him some pyjamas, we’ve just sat down with some tea and we’re about to phone my parents. Adam hasn’t replied to the text Ethan sent him, but I’m sure I’ll be able to get through to my mum or dad.”

“Okay, well I won’t keep you,” Phil said, “I’ll see you soon… love you.”

“Love you Phil, bye,” I replied, pausing a second then ending the call.

As soon as I ended the call with Phil, I got started on the call home. I pressed the call button and held the phone to my ear. It rang a number of times and I thought it was about to ring out, when my Dad picked up.

“Dan, son, this isn’t really the best time. Adam’s in a lot of pain from his soulmate and he tried to call him maybe like an hour ago and he wouldn’t pick up. He’s gotten so worried, he’s having some kind of breakdown,” my dad told me, “Mum’s with him; she’s doing her best, but there’s not really much she can do.”

“Dad, Ethan called me for help and I have him here with me now. He's got a few injuries but he's okay, he's conscious and drinking a mug of tea,” I told him, “Let Adam know he’s okay and maybe get him on the phone so they can speak.”

“Oh thank God,” my dad said, “Right I’m going to tell him.”

I heard the squeak of my parents bedroom door and a bit of scuffling. I heard the voices of my parents distantly, then some more scuffling as the phone was handed over.

Adam sound very rough as he picked up, “Dan? You've got Ethan there?”

“Yup, he's a bit beaten up as I'm sure you know, but I've done what I can with the first aid kit, some ice and some painkillers,” I explained.

“Thank you so much for taking care of him,” Adam choked, “Can I speak to him?”

“Of course, I’ll pass you over right now,” I said, handing the phone to Ethan.

I watched as Ethan explained all what happened to Adam, it tearing my heart out to hear some of the details he hadn’t told me. I wished this hadn’t happened to him, but something told me that life would get better for him from here on in.

He talked to Adam about it for a while, constantly on the verge of tears and having to pause occasionally to wipe his eyes on his sleeve. I’d asked him if he wanted me to leave to give him some privacy, but it seemed having me by his side was giving him some of the support he needed.

About twenty past nine, I heard the door open and turned around to see Phil taking his coat off. He was a little red in the face, but then he was home ten minutes earlier than I’d expected; he must have rushed. Phil came over to where I was sitting, leant over the back of the sofa and messed up my hair. I’d more or less given up on stopping him from doing that; it didn’t really matter as we were at home.

Phil bent down to whisper in my ear, “I’m going to grab a glass of water and I’ll be back.”

Phil had started to leave for the kitchen when I called him back, “Phil.”

“Yeah?” Phil murmured, back behind the sofa.

“Go and get changed or take a shower or whatever you feel you need to do,” I suggested, “We’re doing okay here.”

Phil left for our room, with the suggestion that Ethan and Adam could move their conversation to Skype so that they could see each other.

This idea seeming a good one, I butted to Ethan and Adam’s conversation, “Ethan, tell Adam to get mum to Skype me… then you can see each other.”

Ethan passed on the message and I grabbed my laptop from the coffee table, opening up the Skype application. It was a couple of minutes before my mum came online, so the boys kept to the phone in the meantime, but soon enough me and my mum were ready to pass the laptops over.

I took my phone back from Ethan and continued my conversation with my mum. We had a couple of things to talk about, the most urgent being Ethan and Adam’s current situation. I went away to the office with the phone, so there wasn’t interference with the Skype call going on in the living room.

“I don’t think they should be apart,” I told her, “Like, yes he’s only been here an hour, but I can see Ethan’s not good. He’s holding together at the moment, but he needs Adam. I know he can’t make everything better in an instant, but the support of his soulmate is really what Ethan needs.”

“I agree; they need to be together,” my mum said, thoughtfully, “Adam’s not been doing much better over the last two weeks, since he came home from you. Yes, things have been better now that he knows Ethan and can talk to him, but it’s hurting him to not be with him.”

“Could you and Dad bring Adam up here?” I asked, “Or are you too busy with work?”

“I’ll speak to Dad about it,” she said, “I don’t really want to shove him on a train up alone in this state. Plus, Dad and I haven’t seen where you’re living yet, so we could make a little trip out of it.”

“Yeah, if you can get the time off, that would be an idea,” I told her, “Though you and Dad’ll need to stay in a hotel because Phil and I only have one spare bed and it’s now Ethan’s.”

“What about Adam? Do we want him sharing with Ethan?” she asked, “They might… you know…”

“Have sex?” I finished, brashly, “You can’t really stop them as they’ll both be old enough in a few days. Whether they would or not, I don’t know, but I doubt you’ll be able to separate them easily.”

“Would you mind, if they like did it in your spare room?” she asked.

“Not really,” I said, pausing to think about it, “Like clearly there’s some logistics to think about, such as Phil and I making sure they have privacy, but I don’t have any problem with it. I’ll maybe have a little chat with Adam once he’s here, see what he’s thinking, if he’s ready, if he’s kitted out to be safe when they do.”

“Are you and Phil… ummm…?” she started, trailing off, clearly unsure how to ask her question.

“Sexually active? Yes,” I answered briskly, although a little embarrassed, ”Safe? Well we’re both tested so we’re good.”

I could almost feel my mum turning red at the other end of the phone. I stayed quiet, waiting for her to say something, to acknowledge what I’d said.

“Dan, the reason I never gave you a sex talk is because I don’t really know how it works between guys, so I’m glad you figured that out yourself,” she admitted, “I haven’t given Adam one either, d’you think he’ll figure it out? Ethan probably won’t know either because his family didn’t know he…”

“Mum, I’m sure they’ll figure it out,” I interrupted her ramblings, “But I’ll talk to Adam and see if he needs any advice.”

“Thank you,” she said, sounding a little tearful.

“You alright, Mum?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she paused, sniffing, “Just getting a little emotional about both my boys being grown up.”

“You’ve still got two years before Adam’s eighteen, I wouldn’t get too emotional,” I said, trying to make things better.

“I know,” she said, now putting on a cheery voice, “I’m going to go and talk to your dad about how soon we can bring Adam up; I’ll phone back in five-ten minutes.”

I returned to the living room, to find Phil having taken my earlier spot on the sofa next to Ethan. He’d clearly had a quick shower as he was now sitting in his pyjamas with wet hair. As I approached he moved over to give me my space back. I settled between him and Ethan, and looked over at the laptop, where I could see my brother’s face. Now Ethan had told him all what had happened, the conversation was more spread between us. I asked Adam how he was doing and if he’d been managing to get on track again with school over the last couple of weeks.

“I’m getting there,” he told me, “Like there are bits I’ve missed, so mum and dad are thinking about getting me tutors over Easter to help me figure out what I’ve missed.”

This sparked a thought in Ethan’s mind and he added to the conversation, “I don’t even know if I’m going to be sitting my exams. I don’t really know, but my mum told the school a bit of what happened and I’m off ill until further notice. They were sending bits of work for me but I never really got much done…”

At this moment, my mum burst into the room at Adam’s end, “Right, Adam, Dan… I’ve spoken with Dad. He has the day off tomorrow and I can phone in with a family emergency and we can be up there by lunchtime. How does that sound?”

“That’s fine,” I nodded, watching the happiness build on Adam and Ethan’s faces.

Adam turned away to talk to my mum and next to me Ethan was getting a little emotional, smiling, but tears starting to roll down his cheeks. I asked Phil to grab the tissues and passed him a couple, putting an arm around him and trying to give him a little emotional support.

This was clearly what he needed, as Ethan took this as an invite and curled up, leaning into me, seeking a hug. I brought my arms around him and held him steady as he was overcome by a bout of sobbing. I could see Adam on the laptop, trying to get Ethan’s attention, but it wasn’t really working.

“Ethan,” I mumbled, “Adam’s saying you need to take a couple of deep breaths and try to calm down a little.”

Ethan, nodded, shakily inhaling and exhaling. The tears were still leaking from his eyes, but he was trying to regain control.

“M sorry,” he mumbled, both to me and to the laptop, “I’m really tired and everything’s a bit much, but I’m glad I’ll see you tomorrow, Adam.”

I could see how tired Ethan was and half of his crying was from pure emotional exhaustion. I was worried about him; I knew he needed to get to bed.

“I think you two should finish up for the night,” I suggested, looking to Ethan and to Adam.

Ethan nodded, “Yeah, if you don’t mind Adam.”

“That’s fine, of course,” Adam said, “I’ll let you get some sleep. I wish I could give you a hug, but that’ll need to wait until tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” Ethan mumbled.

“Dan,” Adam started, “Thanks for taking care of him. Make sure he gets to sleep okay for me.”

“I will,” I nodded, not even needing to be told as some part of my family instinct was making sure I took care of Ethan; he was pretty much family after all.

Once the call had ended, I gave Ethan a couple of minutes to himself, then encouraged him up to go clean his teeth. I waited until he was in bed, then went to check up on him and ask if he needed anything.

“No, I'm good,” Ethan told me, but not sounding entirely convincing.

“Okay, goodnight then,” I said, slowly shutting the door; he probably just needed his space.

Only a moment after the door clicked shut, Ethan's voice sounded from inside, “Dan?”

“Yeah?” I asked, opening the door again.

“I'm scared,” Ethan admitted, his voice trembling a little.

“Of what…?” I asked gently, pulling the chair over neared the bed and taking a seat.

“My future,” Ethan told me, struggling a little to get the words out, “Because I've pretty much dropped out of school; I couldn't cope with it. I was in hospital at the start of the year and I haven't been back since. I'm pretty much off ill for mental health reasons until further notice, but I couldn't focus on any of the work that got sent home so I just gave up. I'm probably not going to sit my exams, 'cause if I did, I'd be bound to fail. So then what? I've got a handful of mediocre GSCE results under my belt that no one really wants. I'm not going to be able to go to uni, or get a job easily and I don't even have my family to support me. My thousand pounds in the bank isn't gonna get me far if I don’t even have my debit card.”

“Ethan, I know it's not the same as your parents, but you have Adam… and me and Phil, and my parents. We're your family too and we're all here to support you,” I said, resting my hand on the duvet that covered his back, “Clearly your situation with school is difficult, but we'll figure something out. We’ll talk about it with my parents, they'll know what to do.”

I sat with Ethan for a little bit to make sure he was okay. I knew Phil was waiting for me in the living room, but I knew he wouldn't mind. In fact, he'd probably insist one of us did exactly what I was doing.

I stayed until Ethan started to doze off, creeping quietly out the room. I'd done what I'd promised Adam and made sure he got to sleep okay. I'm sure everything would be better tomorrow once they were together.

I joined Phil in the living room and let him know that all was well. Clearly our plans for the evening had been thwarted a little, but there were no harsh feelings. Phil and I talked for a while about what all had happened, making sure he was fully informed about Ethan's injuries.

We gradually got ourselves ready for bed, it not really mattering if we were in bed early as we could just sit and chat comfortably.

Once we were in bed, I went over a few things with Phil. I told him about what happened earlier with the near miss with the car that sped out of a junction in front of us. At the time it had been terrifying, but with everything that had gone on since then, it was starting to fade into the back of my mind. Phil let me know how relieved he was that we were okay and congratulated me on handling my anxiety about the situation well.

“How are you feeling with what’s happened to Ethan? Seeing the outcome of another abusive relationship; is that affecting you at all?” Phil asked, a little cautiously.

“A little, yeah,” I nodded, “Like the bruises… I had bruises after… uhh… but I managed to focus on looking after him, but it’s reminding me of what happened to me and I don’t like it.”

Phil lifted me the short distance into his lap and made his arms a little more snug around me, “If it gets too much, let me know immediately. Though I suspect he’ll be looking more to Adam for support as of tomorrow.”

“I know,” I nodded, “It just hurts to see him this down and to know so well why he’s feeling that way.”

Phil nuzzled his face into his neck, “It might not be easy, but he’s going to be okay… and you’re going to be okay too.”

“We need to make sure he gets counselling or therapy or something soon,” I said, “Like we don’t know how much this is going to affect him in the long run.”

“I’ll make a note of that,” Phil said, grabbing his phone from the bedside table, “That’ll remind me to bring it up if we forget.”

“Good,” I smiled, resting my head on Phil’s shoulder.

I took a couple of deep breaths, inhaling some of Phil’s warmth. It was relaxing to be this close with him, but my body was still craving something more, a feeling of arousal still pooled silently in my abdomen from earlier in the afternoon. I wasn’t really sure what to do about it… could we still do something even though Ethan was here, or would that be too risky as he could overhear us? Not even realising, I let out a quiet groan, something Phil wouldn’t have heard if we hadn’t been so close.

“Dan?” Phil said softly, “You okay?”

Knowing I wouldn’t gain anything from keeping it from him, I let Phil know what the issue was, “I need to get off… or something.”

“Ahh,” Phil mumbled, “Did you stretch earlier ‘cause we were planning something?”

“Yeah,” I admitted, nodding, “Like I’ve been saving myself for you. I haven’t gotten off since we last did together.”

“Dan, that was over a week ago,” Phil said, shocked, “Even I’ve had a wank in the shower and I’m the old one here.”

“Yeah, well I wasn’t feeling up to it with all the medication side effects, but I’m good now,” I explained, “I did start a couple of times but got too tired before I could finish. Now I feel like I’m going to explode if I wait much longer.”

“You’re not going to explode,” Phil laughed, “We can still do something, but you’ll need to be fairly quiet. I’m thinking quite calm and not too rough; that’ll help you relax.”

“Sounds good,” I said, “How would you like me?”

“Stay where you are; this is good,” Phil told me, “I’m going to let you take a bit of control here and ride me. Does that sound okay?”

“Yup,” I nodded, starting to envisage how this was going to happen, “Good plan.”

Phil returned his head to the crook of my neck, nuzzling his face in again but this time starting with some kisses. By now, Phil knew exactly where my sensitive spots were, probably better than I did. Phil worked slowly from my neck to my jaw, then up to my mouth, meanwhile slipping his hand under the bottom of my t-shirt and caressing the skin of my lower back.

Kissing me deeply, Phil slipped his hand round to my chest, firmly rubbing over my nipple. Suddenly feeling the need for more, I brought my chest closer to Phil’s, craving that closeness. He put his hand out to stop me; for a moment I felt a sense of rejection, that was until he slid both hands under my shirt and lifted it over my head. Phil’s shirt followed and finally I got the closeness I desired.

The warm mass of Phil’s chest pressed up against mine made me feel all bubbly inside. I don’t know if that stemmed from it having been so long since we had this level of intimacy, or just the fact I was so turned on already, starting to feel myself growing hard.

Keeping one hand on my back to keep me close, Phil reached his other down between us and began to touch me through my boxers. It didn’t take long for me to be thrusting into Phil’s palm, fully hard and ready for more. He too had a tent growing in his pyjama bottoms. With both selfish desire and a wish to turn Phil on further, I shuffled forward a little and ground down against him. He had to bite his lip and breathe out loudly to suppress a moan.

Phil’s POV:

Dan was slowly killing me with the way he was moving and I was struggling to keep things together. There came a moment when Dan paused and I decided it was time to put the attention back on him. I helped him out of his boxers, licked a couple of my fingers and rubbed them gently over his entrance. I didn’t do it, not without lube, but I felt how easy it would be to just slip them in.

Getting Dan to lift himself up for a moment, I pulled my pyjama bottoms down to my knees and reached out for the lube. Moments later, he settled back on my lap, his length positioned perfectly to have a swordfight with mine. I lubed up my fingers and got started with a little stretching. I could tell Dan had done a lot himself earlier, but the last thing I wanted was to be rough on him when he was a little emotionally sensitive.

I had to shush Dan a couple of times when my fingers brushed his sweet spot. I decided to reduce the distance that had grown between our upper bodies, one for the change in angle, and two so I could capture his mouth in a kiss to keep him quiet. Dan’s moans now muffled themselves in my mouth, a great outcome meaning that I could hear him but we were still being quiet enough.

With Dan’s needy moans and my straining length, I decided it was time we actually got down to doing it. First coating myself in some lube, I lifted Dan up, hands gripping his bumcheeks, and helped him sink slowly onto me. Of course, we started slowly, but today we kept the speed a bit slower, more controlled.

I kept my hands on Dan, supporting some of his weight to make things easier for him, but still letting him have the majority of the control. The sensual experience of his pleasure and movements was doing it for me and Dan seemed to be getting just what he needed out of it. He was rolling his hips and moaning into my mouth and everything that was making him feel good was making me feel ecstatic also.

By no means did this turn out to be a quick fuck; it took us a while to reach a state of orgasm, but it was completely worth it.

“M close,” Dan mumbled me a warning, bouncing a little faster and working his hand up and down himself.

I let my hand join Dan’s for the final few strokes, giving him a little bit extra to help him get over the edge. Dan’s orgasm started with him tightening around me, then the spurts of white started to decorate our hands and chests.

Having Dan orgasm around me was enough to get me there too. We pretty much rode out our orgasms together, although Dan’s lasted longer and was a lot more intense, him trembling and shaking as he came, doing his best to stay quiet.

Despite starting to feel a little overstimulated, I let Dan continue to ride me until he was finished. Spent, he pulled himself off me and returned to just sitting on my thighs, my hands still on his bum to hold him as he came down from his intense high. He was still trembling slightly, letting out little pants and holding onto me tightly.

For a minute we just sat there, both of us needing the time to recover. Dan seemed a lot more drained of energy than I was; I couldn’t see him getting up to get himself cleaned up.

“I’m going to go grab a washcloth and I’ll help you get cleaned up,” I told him, forcing him to move a little so I could get out from underneath him.

I headed into our ensuite, grabbed a washcloth from the side of the bath - one that had likely been used for similar purposes before but washed since - and ran it under the hot tap. I waited until the water had made it pleasantly warm, before turning the tap off and wringing it out so it wouldn’t drip everywhere.

I gently wiped down where Dan had come on himself, not wanting him to be uncomfortably sticky in his sleep. Before getting into bed next to him, I wiped some similarly sticky areas on myself and tossed the cloth to the side of the room, into a pile of clothes for washing.

I put my pyjama bottoms back on so I wasn't completely naked and got into bed with Dan. I asked him if he wanted any of his pyjamas back on, but he just refused sleepily and cuddled up to my side. I made sure the duvet was covering him well, wished him goodnight and held him close as we both drifted off to sleep.

Next Chapter =>

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #phanfluff #tw #tw;ed #phan fluff #soulmate au #soulmates #au #fanfic #waiter!phil #ed #someday

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thisisnotasafari · 7 years ago

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Beautiful, yes, but I fell down the side of a mountain like this. Afya (Health)

I had malaria for the first time in September, only one month after arriving in Mahenge. Let me rephrase: I thought I had malaria for the first time, and no one did or said anything to make me think I didn’t. In Tanzania, malaria is like being innocent in our justice system: you have it until it is proven that you do not. And with good reason: The Center for Disease Control estimated that, in 2013, there were 198 million cases of malaria worldwide and more than 600,000 deaths, mostly occurring in the African region, and mostly children whose immunity to the disease has not matured. In 2012, the World Health Organization reported that malaria was the fourth highest cause of death in Tanzania, killing 20.9 million people. It all started one afternoon as I was pacing around my Form I English class. Because of the large number of students in each classroom, I tended to wander up and down the tightly arranged aisles between desks to keep an eye on the students in the back and make everyone nervous that I might steal up behind them. The view from the classroom windows looked out on the rolling plains, as distant as if I was looking at them from an airplane window. Heat shimmered like mist. As I gazed the window, trying to locate the horizon, my head began to vibrate. I felt as if I was in the direct path of the radiating heat waves. I propped myself up on a desk, while one of my students looked on, probably confused, while the weight of my bones threatened to pull me earthward. This spell continued for a few minutes until I made it to the end of class, and then stumbled to the staff room to report my condition. “You have malaria,” I was told cheerfully, as if I had sighted a rare and elusive animal. “You must go to hospital. Go, go now!”

Malaria is a mosquito-borne disease caused by different parasites belonging to the Plasmodium genus that commonly infect a certain type of mosquito. The disease generally begins to show after seven to thirty days of receiving an infective bite (the incubation period), and immediate symptoms include shivering, sweating, headache, vomiting, aching muscles, fatigue, and fever. Here’s where it gets complicated: in many countries, including Tanzania, education about malaria is prevalent and immediate treatment is generally available, but in other places where the disease is common, these symptoms are often attributed to other illnesses, a flu or fever, perhaps, and left untreated. In cases where malaria is not diagnosed or treated within days, serious organ failure and abnormalities in the blood can occur, as well as the onset of cerebral malaria, (potentially causing loss of consciousness, coma, seizure, speech difficulties, deafness, blindness, and ataxia, or difficulty with movement). Pregnant women have an increased susceptibility to malaria, and contracting the disease during pregnancy can lead to severe problems, including low birth weight and a decreased chance of a child’s survival. Malaria is a particularly detestable disease because it kills so many people, despite the fact that it is almost completely preventable given the right resources. The disease is prevalent in Africa because of many contributing factors: a climate that allows the parasite, and the mosquito that hosts it, to thrive; weak infrastructure to stem the spreading of the disease; a lack of prophylaxis materials, including medication and mosquito nets; and the large financial burden of effective intervention methods. The good news is that the CDC reports the last ten years have brought a 45% decrease in malaria-related deaths due to a growing international effort to control and prevent the disease. Education about the disease, the availability of medication to treat it, and the supplying of mosquito nets and insecticides to prevent it are combining to reduce malaria’s disastrous impact, but the battle is far from over. Malaria was a daily scourge among my students and friend. People contracted it at the same rate, and treated it with the same level of seriousness, as people in the developed world treat a common cold. It was seen as a nuisance, or a necessary evil that rarely did any harm. But I saw my friends in the throes of a malaria-induced fever, and it is nothing to be taken lightly.

I was told I must go to hospital, so I went. The hospital in Mahenge is made up of a series of long, low buildings with corrugated steel roofs connected by covered walkways. There are people around, and a few nurses in lab coats, but mostly it contains a host of mysterious doors and windows into darkened, empty rooms, giving it the feel of a place that has been recently abandoned. I wandered around surprised to find people at work in offices, but more often surprised at the emptiness of entire wings. Bits of grass and leaves collected next to open doors and ancient stretchers stood vacant next to stained and peeling walls. The waiting room is just that: a large, roofed structure under which to wait. About fifteen people were already there when I arrived, carrying the requisite daftari (notebook) for the doctor to use to record my case. Little happened while I waited, save the wailing of a small, ill child and the worried murmuring of her parents. People with various ailments sat quietly with an air of resigned patience, staring vacantly at nothing. The wooden benches were rigid and uncomfortable, and I found myself entertaining the first stirrings of self-pity. My dizziness had subsided, giving way to a general fatigue that I thought surely indicated the presence of malarial blood parasites. I waited.

In addition to the ever-present threat of malaria, HIV and AIDS still claim the highest number of lives in Tanzania, killing more than 73,000 people in 2012 (World Health Organization). Despite the financial and human resources poured into awareness campaigns and education about this disease across Sub-Saharan Africa, its prevalence in Tanzania has not decreased in more than ten years. At Nawenge Secondary School, students were assigned research topics and essays about AIDS, but it was not a commonly taught topic in the classroom, owing to the community’s conservative social and religious beliefs. In my experience, sex education was virtually nonexistent, and an open discussion of preventative measures like condoms or birth control methods was rare. During my time spent in Namibia, condoms were provided by the government and could be found everywhere—in bars, restaurants, grocery stores, schools—anywhere people regularly congregated. By contrast, I did not once see any condoms distributed publically in Tanzania.

After thirty minutes spent waiting in a covered outdoor plaza ringed with wooden benches, a door to one of two consulting rooms opened and a young mother and father with a tiny child walked out, seemingly dazed, but smiling—perhaps they had just received good news, I thought. My neighbor on the wooden bench, an old man who I thought to be asleep, poked me in the shoulder and said, “Wewe,” you, go. As I entered the room, with Megan, my roommate for whom this experience presented no challenge, the doctor smiled and nodded as if he had been expecting me. I later found out that Mahenge has two doctors in residence: one tended to wander through town singing and muttering to himself for the better part of the day until it was time to hit the bar. One late night with Nick and Jonathan at Riverside, I saw him sitting in a white plastic chair in the middle of the dance floor with a large bottle of beer cradled in his arms, swaying contentedly along to the music as people wended their way around him. A few weeks later, on a walk to town, he joined me along the road, happily asking me nonsense questions in English, like, “What do you see over there? Who is it? Why is there that?” I nodded and smiled, walking a bit faster, until someone shouted at him and abruptly turned and staggered down a narrow alley. The other doctor, luckily, was the man in front of whom I now sat—a smiling, kind figure whose enthusiasm for my basic attempts at Swahili would have been welcomed were it not for the dizzying effects of the blood-borne disease I believed to be coursing through my veins. Megan described my symptoms (“My friend, he is sick, head and stomach”) and he nodded, and I nodded along with him, for lack of anything better to do. After talking to himself in Kiswahili, and scribbling some notes in my daftari, he switched to English: “You must return tomorrow. The lab will test your blood.” Tomorrow? Could I survive another twelve hours with undiagnosed malaria that was surely now infiltrating my immune system en route to my delicate and undefended cerebellum? Sensing my concern, he smiled again (he was awfully jovial for a man who deals with disease and death regularly, I remember thinking) and wrote down the name of a medication for me to take, then said, “Go to the dispensary, just there. Get the medication and start it today, just in case.” I nodded again, ending my consultation with a moment’s hesitation about the fact that surely there must be other questions to ask, were I not limited by my clumsy lack of language knowledge, before I stood and walked out into the fading afternoon sun.

Tanzania is, unfortunately, an easy place to get sick. A quick look through the Center for Disease Control’s list of recommended vaccinations for travelers to the country makes this abundantly clear. In addition to the normal vaccinations, flu and polio and measles, prevention against typhoid, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Rabies, and Yellow Fever is highly recommended, along with the requisite malaria prophylaxis via shot or daily pill. I can report that the Yellow Fever vaccine is particularly unpleasant, with a needle the size of a Number 2 pencil. Once the vaccinations are complete, the CDC has a long list of recommendations for safe travel, among which is the admonition to consume only safe food and water, not including anything that is served at room temperature, from a street vendor, raw or soft-cooked, undercooked, unwashed or unpeeled, unpasteurized, or belonging to a category called, rather unpoetically, “bushmeat,” described as “monkeys, bats, or other wild game.” Other sound advice included avoiding tap water, well water, unpasteurized or fresh milk, and “local alcoholic drinks.” Duly noted, but the CDC did not count on the vehemence and persistence of the local retirees who invited me, every Friday afternoon, to join them in a cup of freshly brewed pombe (beer made from fermented maize) in the front yards on my way to school. (Even still, I heeded the warnings and sadly declined these kind invitations.) As I made my way home from the hospital, I felt an odd sense of pride welling in my chest. I am living with malaria, I thought. I am a survivor. They should make an inspirational commercial about me. Like Hemingway and the Crocodile Hunter, I had come to a wild and untamed place and dealt with the worst things it could throw at me. My dizziness, no doubt amplified by nervousness at the hospital, had subsided and I felt only a vague sense of imbalance, as if my center of gravity was a few degrees off. I should mention that the doctor, the day before, had given me the week-long dose of medication to treat malaria, but since they were out of the adult version, I got the child version, complete with brightly colored instructions and pictures of animals running along the top, as if a friendly giraffe would make me feel better. His instructions? Take two pills instead of one. In order to celebrate my first hospital visit and to nurse my malady, we decided to eat dinner at Riverside and avoid cooking. I sat quietly during dinner, with the righteous poise of a recovering invalid. “It’s not so bad,” I said. “Nothing to be afraid of, really.” How tough I was! How manly and stoic! The next morning, however, proved to be a test of my newly acquired ability to navigate a Tanzanian health-related emergency. Feeling somewhat stronger on my feet, I arrived back at the hospital first thing in the morning and sat down to wait. After a few minutes, I realized I was the only person there, and wondered whether the doctors kept different examination hours, or if I was fated to have an audience before the drunken doctor. I stood quickly and walked back out to the main covered walkway, determined to disappear before he might see me and continue asking me nonsense questions. I wandered for a few more minutes, but found no staff working in the empty whitewashed rooms I passed at regular intervals. One large room contained nothing but five rusty stretchers on thin metal legs.

Before I left for Tanzania, as I was learning the health and safety tips that would allow me to return without any missing limbs, my friends joked about the requirements for eating and drinking. “Whatever you eat, you have to boil it or peel it,” they said, “no matter what.” One even offered to buy me a vegetable peeler to carry with me at all times. As farfetched as these requirements seemed in a place with clean running water and fresh produce available all year, lack of food and water sanitation in Tanzania and much of the developing world leads often to a wide array of illnesses, including typhoid fever and dysentery, as well as the more severe schistosomiasis and Hepatitis A. Typhoid, not to be confused with Typhus, is a bacterial infection caused by Salmonella typhi, a nasty bacteria that spreads in the intestines and blood as a result of eating or drinking contaminated water. According to the CDC, risk factors for contracting typhoid include poor sanitation and hygiene, and traveling in the developing world. Like malaria, it is common in Tanzania, and particularly in Mahenge, due to the lack of adequate supply of clean water. As I watched people drink and bathe in water that collected in puddles or in gutters on the sides of the road, I cringed at what the effects could be, and often were. One of my friends contracted typhoid and I have never seen anyone look so uncomfortable. Let’s finish up diseases before we move on: Dysentery, a type of gastroenteritis, is caused by an infection in the intestines that leads to inflammation and severe diarrhea with the additional possibility of abdominal pain, muscle ache, and weight loss. Fun! Schisosomiasis, also known as bilharzia, is a parasitic disease spread by infected freshwater snails that literally invade the body through the skin and take up residence in blood vessels. Risks for contracting the disease include any contact with sources of fresh water, including bathing, swimming, fishing, handling or working with livestock, or doing laundry—many of the things Tanzanian people do regularly as part of daily life. Symptoms include fever, muscle ache, rash, itchy skin, and coughing; the disease is propagated by infected people urinating and defecating in common water sources. After years of infection with the parasite, severe damage to organs is possible, including anemia, inflammation, and scarring. That one is a real winner. Hepatitis A, a liver infection caused by the Hepatitis A virus, is caused by contact with an infected person or consuming contaminated food or water. Symptoms include all the big ones common to food-borne illness: fever, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, joint pain, and jaundice. Many people, including children, who are infected with the disease do not show symptoms. I turned a corner and approached a covered walkway I had not yet taken, one that led away from the main part of the hospital toward the rear, where a few residential houses stood in the shade of a grove of banana trees. The first door I passed stated “LABORATORY” in large letters on the door. This seemed promising. I passed through an empty waiting room, containing darkly stained and tired-looking chairs and knocked on the glass door that led to the lab. A man in a lab coat looked up from a clipboard and motioned for me to enter. I held my daftari out in front of me as an explanation for why I was there, motioning like an idiot at the page where the doctor had scribbled “malaria.” The whole time, I was convinced that I would get in trouble for skipping a second examination by the doctor and setting out on my own to locate the lab. In case he didn’t get the gist, I said, or perhaps whispered out of nervousness, “Malaria. I need a test.” I never found out if he spoke English because he never spoke, but smiled and nodded as if I had confirmed a long-held suspicion. I could not tell how old he was—for one, I am a terrible judge of age. Once a person hits age sixteen, I can no longer accurately gauge how old they are. There is nothing so dangerous as when people coyly ask me at parties, “Guess how old I am?” I invariably guess on the wrong end of their desired spectrum and receive glares and huffy rebukes. The second difficulty is that people in Tanzania age very gracefully, showing very few signs of aging as I might notice them based on experience here. Their skin rarely shows wrinkles, their teeth are white and straight, and many people are already bald, so hair loss is not a reliable demonstrator of age. Many times I was shocked to find that a person I thought to be around age 30 was well past 50; other times, I realized that someone I took for an mzee, or old person, was much closer to my own age.

The technician pointed to a chair for me and walked to a glass-fronted cabinet across the room, bringing back a colorful cardboard package about the size of a thin paperback book. With a deft flick of his hand, he opened the box and pulled out a few molded-plastic instruments—the basic elements of a MRDT, or rapid-diagnostic malaria test. Now, remember that I was fully convinced at this point that I had malaria, and, with the self-righteousness of a martyr, was mentally prepared to suffer the consequences. The test would just be a formality to confirm my self-diagnosis. The lab technician moved with a subtle grace, the product of performing the same maneuvers and motions many times, and before I realized what was happening, pricked my finger and placed it on a piece of gauze held in an oblong disc of plastic. Smiling again, he removed the rest of the pieces and placed the test pad, now complete with my contribution, on the table in front of me and pointed at the clock. By this point, I was becoming incredibly adept at waiting patiently for indeterminate amounts of time for reasons I did not understand—it was a form of giving up control, a skill I imagine Buddhists try to attain through meditation and mindfulness. I was learning to accept things as they happened without planning, and one trick I developed was to engage in a complete observation of the things around me. Since virtually everything was new, I was constantly presented with a feast for my senses, even if the setting was an anonymous and slightly menacing laboratory room set deep in the recesses of an outdated hospital. Posters advertising health and safety tips in Kiswahili adorned the walls above more glass cabinets that stored medical equipment and supplies, most of which looking new or recently produced, in contrast to the ancient and rusting things I had seen hidden away in disused hallways. The technician moved with a quiet efficiency, giving off the air of someone who is used to being very busy and doing many things at once. I wondered how he had come to work in Mahenge. Was he posted here by the government? Was he a native who had gone away to school and returned to help his community? Perhaps he was a student, just passing through on a brief assignment? I thought about his day—had he woken up that morning, as I had, cursing the lack of electricity in his house, or was he accustomed to it? Did he make himself a cup of tea on the jiko? As the sun climbed past the mountains, set out on the road to walk to work? These are the questions I never answered, but always had running through my mind. How is my day different from yours? Is it different, or does a place change you and bring you in line with its routines? This man and I had never met, and we would never see each other again, but I found myself sharing time with him in an unlikely place—unlikely for me, anyway. For him, a lab and a white coat and a room full of medical equipment (in whatever form it could be procured) was his normal. Perhaps it was my state of extreme agitation and nervousness, or the remnants of the dizziness I had felt the day before, but I felt a strange and unexpected kinship with this quiet, graceful man. I imagined him here in this lab, hidden away from the rest of the hospital’s staff and patients, going about his daily tasks of conducting research and experiments, testing blood samples for malaria and other diseases, and helping to stop the spread of sickness and pain. It seemed a noble job, one that was likely beset by many challenges, including inadequate salary, an almost certain lack of resources, and the difficulty and inconvenience of living in a remote place. He had almost certainly gone to school in a large city, perhaps Dar es Salaam or even Arusha, and had now returned to the relative backwater of Mahenge. Like many of the teachers who escape to universities in cities, I wondered if he resented being here, in this quiet and remote town. Did he miss the fast pace of life in the city, or its nightlife’s glamour? Perhaps he had a family elsewhere, as many people did—was he able to see them, or talk to them? Were his children growing up without him? Did he dream of working in a hospital, or was it the only opportunity he had? How had he gotten here, and where was he going? I was brought back from these reveries when he touched my shoulder and pointed to the white plastic dish in his hand. My blood was smeared across its mouth and had faded to a rusty brown, the color of the clay soil near the river. “No malaria,” he said, pointing to the test strip next to my blood that could indicate the presence of Plasmodium falciparum, the nasty parasite I believed to have infiltrated my body. “Negative,” he said, holding the test closer. I sat up with surprise, thinking I had misheard him. It must have only been ten or fifteen minutes since I had arrived, but it felt like hours. “No malaria,” he said again with a small smile. “No malaria,” I repeated, probably sounding a bit slow. “So can I go?” He nodded with another patient smile pointed to the door. I stood and slowly walked toward it, my head spinning now with a rush of confusion, relief, and exhaustion. I turned back and said, “Asante,” thank you. He looked up from a pile of tests he was arranging on a shelf and said, “Asante na wewe.” Thank you, too. In a heady haze of relief, I navigated the same covered hallways and corridors, sunlight already streaming across them and casting long morning shadows on the concrete floors. The heat had risen during my short time in the lab, as it did every morning on my walk to school, and my shirt stuck to me after a few minutes. I made my way back to the road in front of the hospital. People had already begun to line up to see a doctor—babies wrapped in kanga fabric held close to mothers’ breasts, old people balanced on canes and held up by their children, a few students in school uniforms standing apart, knowing they would not have to attend school, at whatever cost it might bring. I who had (seemingly) escaped the clutches of a disease that afflicted so many of my neighbors, I wished them all well. This happened many times in many places in Tanzania, when I felt a bit of my love and my energy and my heart go out to people I had never met, and to whom I could not lend assistance apart from a kind word or a smile. Traveling sometimes is being an observer, a witness to the lives of others.

I had not contracted malaria, it was official. After a few days of rest and careful hydration, I began to feel better. My entire hospital visit, including the consultation, medication, and MRDT, cost me about 4,000Tsh, or somewhere around $2. Take that, corporate healthcare industry! According to the World Health Organization, malaria diagnosis free in Tanzania, and all patients should receive a diagnostic test. The WHO also confirms that ITNs, or insecticide-treated nets, are distributed free in Tanzania, but I did not see any evidence to confirm this. Most often, I saw nets for sale in markets and along the sides of the road. The CDC reports that ITNs can reduce malaria and other insect-borne diseases in children by up to 20%, which is a wonderful thing. Most homes in Mahenge that I saw personally were equipped with mosquito nets, including nets for children. But I also saw nets strung up between wooden stakes in a few front yards to serve as makeshift chicken coops, the bright blue netting a strange contrast to the brown earth. This does not mean that the people in those houses were not protecting themselves properly—I hope that they were, but undoubtedly the nets that prevented the chickens from running away could have been put to better use and might have prevented people from getting sick.

Apart from the constant threat of disease, other dangers lurked everywhere in Mahenge: slippery and muddy roads, bus rides, falling off the side of the mountain, standing water, snakes, large animals, dehydration, vitamin deficiency, sunstroke, lack of access to emergency medical care or evacuation—the list goes on. Proper hygiene is expected in Tanzania, perhaps to combat the spread of sickness or disease, and apart from the fact that not everyone bathes every day, leading to some pungent aromas in the classroom, everyone you pass on the road or in town will have neatly pressed clothes and look presentable. (Ironing was commonly done with a metal iron filled with hot coals that had to be kept at the perfect temperature to avoid burning or blackening clothes. Think of that the next time you complain about it.) I have mentioned before, numerous times, that my standards for personal hygiene fell precipitously. While I wore clean, pressed clothes to school every day, and was never seen in public looking less than respectable, I hardly ever felt clean. Why was this? A few factors included dirt roads, frequent walking and climbing, nearly constant sweating, as well as bucket showers and hand-washed clothes. Let’s talk about bucket showers. They are exactly what they sound like, and many people who have gone camping (or perhaps lived in a commune) might be familiar with them. The mechanics are thus: take a large bucket, preferably one of the red ones containing clean water, and place it next to the tub with a smaller, hand-held bucket accessible. Proceed to fill the smaller bucket and dump it over your head. For the full experience, make sure it is 5 am and completely dark outside, and that the bulb in the bathroom has burned out. Better yet, imagine that the power is out and you are attempting this by candlelight. Romantic, right? Right up until the neighbor’s pig starts squealing from outside the window. I assure you, you’ll be wide-awake after the water hits your skin, and until you start shivering uncontrollably, you have about two minutes to clean your entire body and hair. Soon, you’ll have the whole thing down to a science that involves using shampoo as soap and somehow bathing while keeping half your body dry.

Hand-washing clothes is another treat. It involves two buckets on the kitchen table, one for washing and one for rinsing, and a great quantity of powdered soap. There’s a scrubbing method that I picked up after a while that involves using your palms to grind the material against itself and thereby remove dirt grime, and chafe your hands beautifully. At the outset of the year, we hung all of our clothes on a laundry line strung between our house and the remnants of an old wooden gazebo in our yard, but when that went missing, I tied up my own laundry line across my room. Underwear cannot be hung outside to dry because it’s considered inappropriate to display it (and they really don’t like my collage of Victoria’s Secret models), so I have to set up a chair in my room and let it air-dry, hoping in vain for a cross breeze. (I once hung a load of underwear up that took four entire days to dry.) Jeans and sheets are the toughest part because they take an eternity to dry, but I think I washed both things once over the course of a year, so overall I didn’t mind. And I would still say hand-washing is preferable to sitting in a Laundromat.

Toward the end of the year, I grew very concerned about the fact that I could not get out of Mahenge. Quite literally could not get out, even if I wanted to. This was not a matter of lack of will. Cowboys on bad TV shows often say, with a forlorn look of self-pity, “Oh, we’re all stuck in this town, baby,” while trying to get into the pants of the flashy New York lawyer who found her way into the bar while researching a family law case (I just invented this plot, by the way, but I think it has some promise), illustrating the plight of a someone who might feels literally trapped by his situation. In reality, he has a large number of methods of egress available to him: he could hop on a Greyhound bus, call a taxi, charter a boat, steal a car, purchase a plane ticket, or ride the rails ‘til judgment day. In short, he has options. I had a few measurable skills! I had ambition by the truckload! But unlike the bad TV show guy, I was stuck with no way out.

During the rainy season, the roads are all but gone, turned to soupy mud, and buses and cars cannot get through. If something happened to me (or anyone else, but toward the end of the year I was selfishly focused on my own health), adequate emergency care was completely inaccessible. Even if I was able to get to the hospital in Mahenge, many medical authorities discouraged it, given that the standards of care were not anywhere near global standards. (I heard stories of men with broken bones being given a stick and some rope to fashion their own casts.) What an idea, this remoteness! This disconnectedness! Even in remote areas in the United States, medical assistance is almost always available via whatever means necessary, including helicopter evacuation in extreme circumstances. Was anyone going to chopper me out of Mahenge to get to a hospital, if the need arose? I think not. This played all kinds of tricks on my already tired brain, including one memorable psychosomatic instance of chest pains for which I, in a state of panic, called a kindly doctor in Dar es Salaam who reminded me, over and over, that he could not diagnose anything over the phone and if I wanted to see him, I had to come to his office. He said the address a few different times, and I struggled to explain that I could not get there, even if I started walking that very minute. In order to make it to Dar, I would have had to get some kind of transportation out of Mahenge, which in itself would be tricky, given that not many people had cars and the daily buses were not running daily due to the muddy roads. They would get stuck and have to be pushed the remainder of the way, churning wheels-deep in glutinous, sticky brown mud, or abandoned until the road dried up. If I did get on a bus, I ran the risk of getting stuck in the bus, as happened on the night I returned to Mahenge from Cape Town, and worse, not receiving a refunded ticket.

I experienced all kinds of aches, pains, cramps, spells of dizziness, bites, and scrapes, and each time I grew convinced that this particular symptom was the long-expected harbinger of my doom. Due to my perambulatory commute to school every day, I was getting excellent amounts of exercise, and I drank copious amounts of water. Undoubtedly, my lackluster and unbalanced diet of carbs in many forms did not play a starring role in my good heath, and I sometimes felt weak and dizzy, but I chalked it up to hunger and lack of protein. In my room, I kept a small book of travel health tips, listing common illnesses and how to treat them. After a few months, I hid it away in a corner to keep from consulting it hourly and pronouncing my own diagnosis (undoubtedly I had contracted jaundice, diphtheria, or some other crazy malady and would walk around the house declaiming the symptoms one by one and confirming that yes, I had experienced leg tremors, heart palpitations, difficulty breathing, and a tendency to fall unexpectedly asleep—or whatever they happened to be). I constantly created contingency plans for how I would get myself, or one of my friends, to medical care. They went something like this: “Okay, so if I fall down and break a leg, I’ll call Nick at the mine and he can maybe drive down with the Land Rover and pick me up, but the Land Rover will get stuck on the way from the mine, so maybe I can haul myself up and get a big stick to use to pull myself along . . .” and on and on in endless permutations. Luckily, nothing terrible happened to any of my friends, apart from a few chipped teeth on rocky rice and some bouts of malaria. I made it through relatively unscathed, apart from both malaria scares (the other while on safari in Selous Game Reserve), a cough and a cold every now and again, and the story that I will now relate of how I found myself on, and subsequently tumbled dramatically down, a mountainside in Arusha in the middle of a rainstorm. I sustained an injury during this tumble that plagues me to this day—a lasting reminder of the potential dangers that lurk everywhere, and a testament to my good fortune that nothing worse befell me.

***

A series of interesting events led to my presence on this mountainside in Arusha, in northern Tanzania, long before I slipped and tumbled heels-over-head down its vast and gelatinous slopes. I was on winter break with friends in Arusha, home to Mount Meru, the second tallest mountain in Tanzania after you-know-who (4,562.13 meters/14,968 feet). Consequentially, my friends wanted to hike. It seemed like the thing to do. We booked a day hike at a tourist office in town. The night before, we stayed out til 5:30 am and drank very minimal amounts of water. You’re nodding your head knowingly. We have all been there.

Fast forward a bit: my room at the hostel was the size of a coffin, if a coffin was triangular and had a window overlooking the busiest street in Arusha that came alive at 6 am with honking, yelling, and singing. (Traveler’s Note: If you ever find yourself in Arusha, Tanzania, don’t stay at the Arusha Backpackers. Sleep on the street before you sleep there.) We had to be ready to leave for the hike by 6:30 am. (Again, we got home at 5:30 am. Like got in the door. Like didn’t even make it into bed.) Next: shouted entreaties through hostel doors to see if everyone was still alive and hike-ready, a bumpy taxi ride, a miles-long (seemingly) walk to a house with a brocaded couch and a multitude of tiny kittens, a rigidly polite Tanzanian breakfast of chai and bread with butter, and the kind of tiredness that throbs in waves through your entire body. Keep in mind that there was no water, only milky chai. I might have had Africafe in hopes of caffeinating myself sufficiently to endure what was to come, but honestly, who remembers.

The day was beautiful, all sunny skies and swirling clouds backed by the crumbling peak of Mount Meru in the distance. But because we were in the mountains, things changed quickly. Our guide, John, for whom I still possess a range of apologetic-to-angry feelings, was enthusiastic in the way that comes from having to deal with cranky tourists who are forced to walk through forests and talk to the locals. By those standards, we were probably the best tour group he’d had in months . . . until I almost scissor-kicked him to certain doom. As we climbed, dark rainclouds rose over the mountain and we soon found ourselves in a deluge, struggling to find shelter under the trees. It quickly passed, but came around again. Those rainstorms, especially in Mahenge, were always coming around again, and again, and again. Then it passed, bright sunlight dappling the trees, kids running shyly alongside us, then it came back again and drenched us once more. The clouds were incredibly complex and beautiful, especially right before it rained. Because of the high elevation I could see storms coming across the plains until they were right on top of us. I watched the clouds pile up over each other like layers of icing on a cake.

The path we were to take down the mountainside was set at about a 90-degree angle to the horizon, and now it was wet. Did this stop our fearless leader? He had a safari hat and comfortable shoes! Nothing stopped him. Down we went, and down I went. I tumbled down the incline for about thirty meters, repeatedly losing my footing and falling again, until I grabbed the curve of a sapling to steady myself. I felt a slight popping sensation, then a twinge of pain, and there went my shoulder. I heard a rip and everything. That was about it for me, or so I thought. “I’ll see you jerks later,” said I. “I’ll be right here, under this shady grove of trees, where I will ponder my place in the universe and soon succumb to devastating dehydration. Do alert my kin.”

No sooner had I nestled myself against a tree than a little dude, probably about 7 or 8, popped up over the hill and asked me, in Swahili, if I was coming. I answered in the negative. He repeated his question and pulled me up by my hands. I heard the guide calling me, a smile in his voice, barely audible down the path. Fine, I thought. If this is how I go, fine. Navigating down the slippery, treacherous path, riddled with false turns and drop-offs and mud the consistency of melted Ghirardelli, roots and branches sticking up like the severed and discarded limbs of my predecessors, I had a fair time keeping my mental energy up, let alone my physical. This kid saved me, truly.

He held my hand every step down the mountain, cutting footholds for me with a sharp rock and telling me when to wait and when to go, and pointing with a stick at the exact spot to place my foot. He, and a few of his confederates who I found when I arrived at the base of the ravine, for that’s what it was, had accompanied my friends and stayed with us the whole time we walked in and around a snaking, shallow river (in Vans slip-ons, don’t forget, or barefoot, as I was the entire way down the mountain, uncomplainingly carrying my shoes and saturated socks) to find the fucking waterfall that was our destination.

Anything less than a majestic cataract of epic proportions would have been a waste of my time and not worth withstanding dehydration, a determined hangover, and numerous very real threats to my bodily health and mental fortitude. But we made it and it was beautiful. Oh, and situational update: now we had to make it back before the rains, which were mildly bothered on our descent but had now worked themselves up into a boiling froth, re-soaked the path, and made the ascent nearly as treacherous as the way down.

Our faithful guide, ever optimistic, to his credit, pulled us into an unplanned pit stop at a small guard station, a hut, really, on the side of the path. The guards, about five of them not counting the one passed out asleep, were there to protect the coffee plantations in the area from marauding coffee thieves, I suspect. The hut, two rooms decorated in the typical Tanzanian style of not at all, was a welcome shelter from the rain, but I felt bad for sitting on someone’s mattress in awkward silence while the guards leered at my female friends. The rain continued, unabated, for quite some time, but still the slumberer slept on. I am convinced he knew we were there and feigned sleep just the same, but who can blame him. They, or actually the unluckiest of them, were cooking ugali on a fire outside under a corrugated steel shelter, with the familiar stirring and kneading of the frothy white concoction, but the situation didn’t seem as if an invitation to eat would be forthcoming. Unperturbed, we departed about thirty anxious minutes later into the forest, waving goodbyes to our newfound, silent friends.

A roundabout walk through the forest that had, only that morning, seemed so idyllic and friendly followed, including, in no particular order: the passing of a rogue cow, rain-saturated goats bleating stupidly in small groups, and a spell of waiting under the holey tarp roof of a Masai church, complete with a cruficix of branches and a rudimentary pulpit, during which I watched water drip through the rents in the fabric and contemplated the dangers of trying to drink them to stave off my dehydration vs the diseases I would undoubtedly contract as a result. I remember that the tarp was blue and the sky was slate gray with white patches around the edges, as if lit from within.

Once we made it down the main road to the starting point, after what seemed like (and probably was) hours, our guide insisted, in his typical indomitable fashion, that we end the tour with the requisite trip to a Wa’arusha home, part of the “cultural tourism” aspect of the trip that was only “thirty minutes” away on foot. I think our groans told him that a joke of that nature was liable to get him assaulted, or just tipped a lot less, so with haste he led us through winding fields of corn and cabbage to a traditional Wa’arusha domicile and proceeded to narrate the entire situation of the family—while they were sitting there cooking and going about their business. We were encouraged to go inside, to see the dark, smoke-filled living space, smell the odor that occurs when animals cohabitate with people, and gawk at the small sleeping spaces and primitive cooking supplies. It was very odd, especially considering that our guide hailed from the same town and was of the same tribe. He even suggested I take pictures, which I did grudgingly, though oddly, none of them seemed to have survived. The woman of the house sat proudly stirring her cooking and not looking at us in the manner of someone who has ignored certain things for a long time and will continue to do so. I was faintly comforted by the knowledge that a portion of our tour fee went to help these families, but I still can’t quite square “cultural tourism” with the de-humanizing effect it often has on the people it is meant to celebrate.

Once we made it back, for good, to the house from which we began, tipped our guide (generously, for after all else, he had led us out alive), and declined any further (strongly suggested) donation to the local schools (seeing that they were in much better condition than the schools at which we already taught), we piled in the taxi and I trained my eyes out the window for the first duka with water. My dehydration at this point had passed the stage of a theory and become a fervent belief (accompanied by my own belief that I did not want to end up in hospital). We finally located one, after a ride down a dry and corrugated road, and our friend was dispatched to get water. After a little agonizing wait during which she shopped around for banana prices and surveyed the kanga selection, looking for gifts, she brought it to us, in big, shiny, blue plastic bottles, and at long last, with a pain in my shoulder and a dizzy head, I held in my hands the key to my salvation.

Later that night, showered and rehydrated and feeling very proud of myself, I realized that the kid who had helped me down the mountain, carrying my shoes and holding my hand, was now the proud owner, intentionally or otherwise, of my dirty black socks.

***

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